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I think all Sims or visual novels (not just dating ones) should have like. Four dialoage options. Each with a unique personality and tone.
Like, one could be more sarcastic and dry, one happy go lucky "look on the bright side ™!", or just emotional in general, one purely logical, and one who just tries to make jokes or playfully flirt.
Player can choose any of these options at any time, they don't just have to stick to one. This could be tweeked whichever way would work the best, but yeah. My opinion.
Thank you very much for answering!!!
In some interactive fictions I've played personality works like a stat, so if you're character is shy but acts more outgoing around an RO they'll comment on it, which I like, but just letting people choose at will would certainly be easier... lots to think on (╭ರ_•́)
This more or less what I've been working with as a general guide for myself???
I split how MC talks generally vs how they are with the specifically romantic choices. My handwriting is a bit messy here, but I know I want how the player interacts with the romance to be something I keep track of even if I let you bounce around between being pessimistic or optimistic. That way if you are playing someone who is repressing their feelings you get to choose who cracks first, you or your RO.
#<3 asks#the listed characters are the starter ros#i split off four from the group to work on so I'm not trying to write 72 at once#if you are curious and can't make it out#they are:#mammon (oblivious) gabriel (restrained) virgil (proactive) and cas (flustered/proactive)#cas is special#I've spent a lot of time thinking about him#but mammon had to be one of the first routes w how popular he is in obey me#not that they're exactly alike though...
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I think this is one of my favorite lines from the Wraith route because of (imo) how much the meaning changes depending on if you got there via Spectre or Nightmare. For Spectre, it honestly strikes me as a genuine question. Why are you doing this to her? If you're on the Spectre route, you presumably already know the Narrator can't really be trusted, since you had to reject his reward to get here. What are you hoping to gain from continuing to hurt her? For Nightmare, it honestly just makes me sad. As the Shifting Mound describes her, "She desires only companionship, but the only thing she knows is how to hurt." This line feels like a plea from someone who genuinely doesn't understand why you keep rejecting her. She wants to be with you, but she just can't understand how to do that in a way which doesn't hurt you.
#at the risk of getting put on a list there is something tragic & relatable in nightmare#someone who desperately wants to make connections but just can't understand how#anyway wraith is one of my favorite princesses for stuff like this (and bc tragedy aside her route is a riot)#also im sorry if she doesn't say that line if you got there via nightmare#that's how i got her and i could've sworn she did? But i only found footage of her saying it in spectre#slay the princess#stp#stp wraith#the wraith#stp spectre#stp nightmare#side note archetypal/heart#(slash so i don't accidentally tag them)#pointed out on another post of mine that you get wraith via nightmare by killing her and via spectre by leaving her in the basement#in both cases its a rejection of her (rejection being one of wraith's main themes)#which makes me speculate on spectre's ch 3 (which i think we currently have very little info on?)#Trying to run from Nightmare should technically be a 'rejection' as well#but you get MOC from that (and from choosing to stay with her)#imo bc you're just repeating the same inaction which got you into this situation in the first place#you don't want to slay her. you don't want to set her free. So you just leave her there (again)#and so you get MOC where things have only gotten worse and you have no choice left. Because you chose *not* to take action again#So I wonder if spectre 3 will be a similar 'repeating your past mistakes' type of deal#i was skeptical about it coming from stabbing yourself while she possesses you or trying to crush her bones#but it does make sense with that in mind#im curious if it'll parallel MOC#except instead of having no choice but to free the princess you have no choice but to obey the narrator again#maybe you both end up stuck in the cabin forever again?#idk#sorry i probably should've put all of that tag in the post lmao
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Pac: Take care of Ramon, take care of Richas, ok? See you on the other side, big boy.
Fit: [Laughs] Take it easy, big boy. Take it easy, big boy. Actually, nononono– You can't just say "big boy" and then just expect me to not drag you outta here. [Fit tries to lasso Pac] You're coming with me.
Pac: No, I need to leave!
Fit: You're coming with me. You are not dying today! You are not dying today!
Pac: I need to leave, Fit! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
Ironmouse: Are you guys like, having sexy time?
Fit: There's homosexual activity going on Mouse, don't worry about us, ok?
Ironmouse: You guys, we don't have time to be gay right now.
[ Full Transcript ↓ ]
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Pac: I'm just here to say goodbye to you, Fit.
Fit: Goodbye? We're not– we're gonna be fine, we're going to get out of here, don't worry.
Aypierre: Yeah, don't worry!
Pac: I know, but like– I will sleep until the end, you know? I will pass through this moment sleeping, man. I won't be able to be awake for the moment.
Fit: [Laughs] You know, it's– I mean, if that's how you wanna go, but– I mean, that- I mean, isn't that bed kind of like.... I don't know, it's–
Pac: No no, I will be staying on the sofa, you know, I will be staying on the sofa.
Fit: Oh the sofa. Ok, that's a nice sofa! Yeah, that is a pretty nice sofa.
Pac: Yeah, it's a nice sofa right? No, yeah– I'm going to stay on the sofa, you know? So, since I will be going Fit... [Pac starts tossing Fit all his items]
Aypierre: [Not paying attention to their conversation] Is that bigger cell? I don't think it's a bigger- biggest one.
Fit: Oh... Thank you Pac, thank you.
Pac: Everything you need to survive, ok?
Fit: Wow.
Aypierre: Wow.
Pac: And if you need this one also, maybe, who knows? [Throws him more items]
Fit: Ohhh, well hey– just take this to remember me by, ok? [Tosses him a photo of himself – the same one Aypierre was carrying all day yesterday]
Pac: [Laughs] Ok, I will sleep holding the picture you know, like this. You know, I will dream about you, Fit. And I hope this is gonna be good dreams. I see you in the other side. Good luck, my friend.
Fit: The other side... Yeah, you know, yeah, we– we– you know? It's been an honor, Pac. It's been an honor, you know?
Pac: Yeah, for me too, you know? Take care of Ramon, take care of Richas, ok?
Fit: Ok.
Pac: See you on the other side, big boy.
Fit: I will sing your praise– Oh yeah, hey– [Laughs] Take it easy, big boy. Take it easy, big boy. Actually, nononono– You can't just say "big boy" and then just expect me to not drag you outta here. You're coming with me.
Pac: No, I need to leave!
Fit: You're coming with me. You are not dying today! You are not dying today!
Pac: I need to leave, Fit! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
Fit: Sorry, there's–
Pac: I'm sorry!
Ironmouse: Are you guys like, having sexy time?
Fit: There's homosexual activity going on Mouse, don't worry about us, ok?
Ironmouse: You guys, you guys– we don't have time to be gay right now, come on. There's no time.
Pac: No, there's no time! Oh, goodbye Fit...
Fit: Ok, c'mon, no no no, come on, we got this we got this!
Pac: Goodbye Fit, I'm sorry!
Fit: [Laughs] Oh no...
#Pactw#FitMC#Hideduo#FitPac#QSMP#QSMP Prison#January 22 2024#So canonically how do you guys view this moment?#Did Pac just canonically conk out from stress?#Did he take sleeping pills on purpose to sleep through whatever awful thing was inevitably going to happen?#Curious to hear what other people think#I like to imagine the stress finally got to him#He spent the entire time trying to mirror things he saw Cell doing#and finally cried about it to Bagi#I can't blame him if he wants to sleep through the rest of it. Man's living in a place that's actively making him relive past trauma#Fit says he's carrying Pac in his backpack but I like to imagine that he just gave Pac a piggy back ride the entire way home :D#I imagined that for Purgatory too#it's cute#idk the whole idea of very traumatized characters being so comfortable around certain people#Idk the idea Pac feeling so safe around Fit#(despite being in a place that is actively stressing him out)#that he feels alright falling asleep and trusting him / Mike to protect him is sweet to me#Idk man I'm a big fan of the ''literal sleeping together'' trope#I love when characters take naps together it's so cute#esp when it's two traumatized characters with a lot of baggage / trust issues#It's nice#anyways I got way off topic with these tags LMAO sorry#I was gonna edit this down but I like the entire conversation so I'm leaving it as is#The YouTube editor living in my brain: Not great for viewer retension#Me: Shhhhhhhh I'm an Archivist. I can do whatever I want.
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“It could be that the loss of her children drove the Queen deeper into her darker desires...but, I don’t believe she was fighting against them that hard before that particular tragedy. No monster does.” (Patreon)
Bonus:
Hmm, wonder what he could cover those holes with :3c
#Doodles#Handplates#UT#Fellplates#UkaGaster's answers about Toriel really interest me :3c#As evidenced by the quote caption lol - but his other ones are very interesting too! Since it sounds like she's still around!#Poor classic Handplates!Gaster believed Tori dead for such a long time while she was at the Ruins#Meanwhile Fellplates!Gaster is just like ''? I saw the Queen last week she threw me into the pricker bushes? -.ò'' lol#But anyhow lol ♪ The implications that they're still in each other's vicinity really makes me curious about their relationship!#And how Toriel might react to knowing that someone - someone other than her - is having So Much Success on one of her sore spots#Not just of having children but of the constant reminders of Gaster's success where she has to live every day with a heavy heart for her own#Being cruel to him over it - well that's just par for the course isn't it ♪#He mentions that she's much more of an emotional sadist - insulting him and then making it Very clear that she does Not approve of the holes#''They're ugly and you should feel ashamed for drawing so much attention to something so unsightly''#I do think that her knowing that he's so intent on being kind and merciful and then twisting the knife on how much he's hurting her-#Making him feel guilty for daring to even attempt the betterment of all - for giving pieces of himself away and try to be a good person#''If anyone will break my spirit it will be her'' :)#Although that's all assuming that Toriel even knows about the brothers! :0 When I thought about it later it'd make more sense if she doesn't#It was still too good to not do something with the idea hehe - but imagine her betrayal if/when she found out tho she'd kill him on the spot#Gosh I haven't drawn Tori in foreeeeever I can't even remember the last time#Doing a/nother study on her would probably be fun haha she's rather plain how I draw her currently#I wonder if her Fellplates version would also wear reading glasses hehe#And the bonus :3c Where are the plates featured in Fellplates? Surely it's not just called that as a reference right ♪ Hehehe
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She's on a hospital bed, amnesiac after an accident and she's having a crush on this man who is apparently her husband.
@dragonuva's part on an art trade with them from last year! 🥰 It's based on the first chapter of Chiptune by Newlense.
Guys. This fanfic is my favorite FAVORITE connverse fic and I love it so much I don't care if the last update was in 2020 nor if it's never going to be continued. It's so tender and the angst whalloped my guts in the right places. 😭💕
#Yoo I can't believe I actually didn't post this.#There was a comment that described the fic as being like a dream and I agree.#connverse#Connie Maheswaran#Steven Quartz Universe#based on a fanfic#Pease ignore my own comment on the fic tho. I was so smitten by it it brought out the cheese in me. 😭😵#There's something about the writing style that made me fall in love with it too.#Thank you for the art trade!#dragonuva#SU#Not my art#I will make my own fanart of this story. I swear.#Usually I don't mind that much if a fic is incomplete. I'm just glad I get to know and experience the story.#There IS one connverse fic that I actually did really hoped and was oh so curious to see what happened next. Last update on#that was on 2019 and it's marked ascomplete so I've just stopped hoping. ¯\_༼ •́ ͜ʖ •̀ ༽_/¯ It do be like that.#I do have a guess about something in Chiptune. Because something about Connie's circumstance is a little odd.
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Why does Vassago already have merch, we haven't even met him yet
#Celtrist#cel rambles#I don't particularly care how abundant the merch is on shark robot#It literally feels like they'll take a scrap of anything and make it a pin#Like the Moxie Antartica pin Really sir and a bunch others where they're just a random frame from the show#I mean they're FUN frames at least but I swear I've seen some real random ones that don't even make sense to be a pin#AND I'M SORRY WHY DO THEY HAVE SO MUCH MERCH OF CHARACTERS THAT I CAN'T IMAGINE BEING THOUGHT TWICE ABOUT#Sallie Mae fine I can see why people like her and want merch#Chaz is pushing it especially seeing as he's pretty dead but fine I suppose he has his fans#Glitz and Glam? Okay you already fucked up not going with their beta designs but who really was looking at them and thinking “I want merch”#But fine. I'm sure they have their fans#BUT FREAKING MUFFY?? THE VET RECEPTIONIST? WHO TF WAS ASKING FOR A PIN OF HER? DID YOU EVEN KNOW HER NAME?#They do that shit all the time and it aggravates me. They seem to go by a “quantity over quality” thing.#Which their quality is great btw but the quantity of things they have for characters that don't even matter and are seen once is rediculous#Also when I was gonna look up when we were gonna meet Vassago I saw he was an overlord in the pilot#Curious if that's gonna stay. What's to say overlords can't be hellborns or goetia#Is he a goetia? Not sure.#P-point is I like their merch and the new batch seems to mostly be uniquely made to be merch and I like that#But the amount of “garbage” (that's mean but best way I can put it) merch that has a character little to no one would care about#Or is essentially JUST a screen grab from the show is annoying and just pointlessly fills the shop pages#And while I see from a business perspective why they'd put Vassago out especially since some already like him#I also just think it's silly for him to already have merch when we haven't seen his character other than in the trailer#Surprised they don't have merch of satan out yet lol#Okay but I would've approved only so they could make a krampus joke with him#Granted I don't care about Helluva as much as Hazbin#But can't help to be more critical of it when it has a lot of problems Hazbin has aside from pacing#But absolutely NO excuse or leeway for the reason of the sloppy writing that's present#Lemme reiterate my good ol' phrase here:#You're not in the Sonic fandom for like 22 yrs and don't learn to be critical of the media you enjoy lol#rant
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the thing about revisit of the fight in 1x5 is that Louis started it and Louis kept it going and Louis threatened to kill Lestat but it's kicked off because Lestat put his hands on Claudia. that's what tips Louis over the edge into physical violence.
and the other thing about that fight is that Louis was not going to leave Lestat. He's not focused on trying to get away or comfort Claudia, though he is enraged on her behalf. He is trying to hurt Lestat. He can't really hurt him but he doesn't know that yet. He wants to punish him for both what he did to Claudia and for Claudia leaving in the first place. honestly knowing Louis probably for some other stuff while he's at it. he's been punishing him for seven years. But I really don't think he was going to actually try and leave him. that's so fucked up. they're so fucked up.
#something about power in relationships and how you can't put it down even if you want to#louis can do whatever he wants to lestat and on some level it doesn't count#i mean it does count but there's nothing he can actually do to physically hurt him and his ability to emotionally wound is predicated on#lestat making an active choice to stay with him#whereas louis! might not even want to leave but does it matter?#it's still lestat's choice#to let him go or drop him two kilometers#lestat gets to choose if he's going to take it or walk out the door or be the monster#but what neither of them can actually choose to do is have a real fight#either lestat restrains himself or louis is paste#cw: abuse#womp womp#press says iwtv#genuinely curious about how the show is going to handle armandaniel if they get this far because like.#the show makes the point that dating a powerful vampire#if you are not yourself a powerful vampire#would be a tightrope even if they were very kind and sane and good at being in a relationship#the power disparity is just a lot#and also our exhibits a and b of powerful vampires are like#deranged traumatized in possession of questionable relationship ethics#really primed to be absolute nightmares#which is entertaining television#and i suppose that's my answer rip everyone the torments will be continuing as scheduled#all i ask is that ghost claudia gets to do bloody vengeance#interview with the vampire
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#very curious to know you guys' thoughts!#wot#wot on prime#the wheel of time#mat cauthon#tuon paendrag#wot book spoilers#wot show spoilers#(potentially)#i'm going for 'yes instead of egeanin'#because a) i can't think of a strong reason to transport mat out of the waste plotline and into the tanchico one#unless it's to absorb ebou dar and have him cross paths with tuon#and b) if tuon is our main seanchan in the tanchico plotline then egeanin would become superfluous imo#i also think it'd make sense to get all the major characters introduced by the end of s3#so that they'll be ready to swing into the endgame no matter how many total seasons they end up getting#not to mention that tuon DESPERATELY needs to be introduced sooner than she was in the books#if she's to get any semblance of a satisfying and well-developed character arc
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Y'know someone's probably waxed poetic about this already but it's on my mind so I'm gonna do it again.
When it comes to encouraging people to learn about native plants and habitat and involving themselves and their yards in the wider ecosystem, you gotta meet them where they're at.
And maybe that means they won't go as far into it as you are or would like them to in your wildest dreams. But even small steps count towards the bigger picture and I think we need to appreciate that more.
An example from my own life is my mom and the current gardening project we're working on. We're planning out the garden beds in the front of the yard by the mailbox--my mom's previous plantings for the most part haven't worked out, so I'm taking a crack at it.
I'm a pollinator gardening enthusiast who cares more about attracting as many butterflies bees and hummingbirds as possible than keeping things 'neat' and 'tidy'. However, not only do we live in an HOA neighborhood (though not as intense as some other stories I've heard), but I know my mother--an interior designer who has a deeply vested care for making sure the exterior of the house looks as Nice as possible.
We're still getting a pollinator garden in the front though. How? I'm meeting her where she's at, I'm making some concessions, she's making some concessions, but ultimately we're making something that works for the both of us. She doesn't want the plants too tall and messy? We'll trim them back in fall and winter--the insects can use the backyard garden to nest in. She doesn't want things too wild and bushy and weedy? We'll add a nice mulch to the beds, keep things a bit spaced out until they grow in to their larger sizes. She doesn't know the latin names for the plants I'm asking for, let alone how to pronounce them to ask for them at a garden center? That's fine, I don't know the Latin names for most things anyways, let's just use common names.
Does she care that the garden will attract butterflies and hummingbirds? Not intrinsically--she sees it as more of a bonus, if anything. She just cares about what color everything will be and if it'll be easy to maintain. The fact that they're native plants barely registers as a plus side to her. And honestly? That is fine.
If I approached this problem with a hardheaded attitude on how I wanted it to be just as wild and free as my backyard garden? There wouldn't be any native plants in the front beds. It's not like I didn't teach my mom things, but I didn't lecture her like she was lesser just for not knowing or caring as much about native gardening as I do. And that, ultimately, made her more open to the idea than she would've been if I looked down on her like I've seen too many people do to others.
Not everyone is going to develop a deeply seated care about native plants and Latin names and I don't think it's reasonable to expect that. Meet people where they're at and you just might get a lot more done. Meet people where they're at and you just might find they'll get excited enough to learn more--but if they don't want to learn more, that is fine.
We can't expect everyone on the globe to suddenly become plant experts rattling off Latin names left and right and professionally ID'ing native and invasive plants. In the same way we wouldn't expect everyone to suddenly learn the ins and outs of learning code, or how to synthesize medicines, or how to properly build a house. And that is fine. Because we can lean on those who do know when these things come up.
I lost track of where this was going but. Y'know????
#out of queue#ani rambles#may delete later#like idk between the CPBD channel and some posts ive seen on here#it feels like a lot of people expect EVERYONE to learn ALL the Latin names for everything and thats just not realistic#Latin names make me fuckin dizzy just hearing them out loud 99% of the time#we can't admonish your everyday homie for referring to things by their common name and not knowing the ins and outs of native gardening#you attract more flies with honey than vinegar. don't look down on people for things they don't know and instead lift them up#thats the best way to get people curious about wanting to learn more#and lead by example. show good results and people will be interested.#i put up a bird feeder for the first time like 2 years ago and just this weekend my mom decided to buy a window feeder because she likes#seeing the birds. does she care about providing habitat for wild creatures? no she just likes seeing the pretty birds.#im not gonna lecture her for not putting up a birdhouse and birdfeeder and just wanting to see the birds??? thats stupid#if she wants to get into more then she'll get into more and if she doesn't even a small contribution is still a contribution yknow?#like if someone's doing something actively/with risk to be harmful by all means talk to them about it but like#dont be fuckin rude guys#im going to bed
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okay I saw @biteyoubiteme so I have to rank txt's discog personally😭
#I am right and everyone else is wrong guys !!#I'm curious to see what other peoples opinions are though#its so hard for me to rank lowkey#also I have trauma w happily ever after#and the mod son version actually makes my ears bleed out its so shit#and also I love tachyons and yeonjuns verses in ps5 but I think the song is kinda ass and I can't listen to it lol#I hated that era where IT WAS THE ONLY THING people commented on their lives#I wanted to kms#nia speaks !#also roller coaster is one of their best songs in the entire world I could go on a rant#if you don't like it...ill be sad idk#txt !<3#I wish they had updated it with chikai#bc we'll never change and kitto zutto are so high for me
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Me, when Sebastian joins my party for the first time: Okay, this time I'm not going to forget about you, Sebastian. I'm going to make an effort to use you a lot this playthrough so I can better understand you.
Also me, immediately forgetting about Sebastian while finishing Act 2 and making it halfway through Act 3 before I finally notice his Faith quest: ......................Oh. Right. My bad.
#da2#dragon age 2#sebastian vael#listen in my defense..........i don't like bringing sebastian anywhere sksksks#okay look i seriously tried but every time i bring him somewhere i always think man i wish i had brought someone else#and also i do just forget about him! i finally added him to my party at one point and he had 24 points to spend...#that's how long i neglected him after i promised myself i was gonna use him more and then i didn't#it's not that i don't like sebastian as a character though i do tend to side eye him A LOT... it's just that i like everyone else more#even aveline like i'd take aveline over sebastian any day and that's saying something... or is it? i have a lot of feelings about aveline#whereas my feelings about sebastian could maybe fill a thimble...it doesn't help that in my canon run as a mage hawke#i romance anders and well... sebastian wants me to kill anders and my hawke is like 'do i approve of blowing up the chantry? complicated.'#'am i breaking up with anders for this? absolutely. do i still love him? mmhmmm. am i going to kill him sebby? i'd sooner set varric aflame#then sebastian threatens to bring an army to kirkwall and leaves so i can't say i have the greatest opinion on him#even the time where i did kill anders and he stayed in my party he was just... there#and then he glitched out and started t posing while asking if ed ever found out what anders wanted to do in the chantry so..... yeah#but even this playthrough where i'm playing as a lady warrior with a different personality and everything... i'd just rather use anyone els#also keep him away from bethany i do not approve sksksks she's too good for him#i want to understand and see the different angles of him like with the other companions but i've yet to convince myself to do it#also sebastian romancers out there can you like... explain? genuinely can you explain the appeal? i'm curious#because of all the love interests in da2 i look at sebastian and you'd think i'd maybe be more interested? but it's like...#i know about the chaste marriage and everything like that's fine i don't need sex to be a thing in the relationship but it feels less like#an asexual romance and more like... y'know... being with a priest and i guess that's just not one of my kinks? sksksks#i guess there's also the prince angle but i romanced alistair in dao and kept him a grey warden i don't really care about royalty power#and i don't have issues with him being a part of the chantry [well i do but yknow what i mean] since i romanced cullen in dai#and his whole deal with the chantry and magic and shit makes his romance interesting to me but sebastian is just.... a bit too much i think#i don't know i'd like to understand because i really don't but i also keep forgetting about him
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I'm just imagining Pac's dramatic self-sacrificing ass on the final day being like "If it comes down to the wire and the points are close, please kill me if that's what it takes for your team to win and save Richarlyson" and Mike and Fit being like, *loud sigh* "For the last time Pac, we're not killing you."
#i talk#qsmp talk#This is a smidge ooc I know but the scenario did make me laugh#Idk I just can't stop thinking about the fact that two of the people Pac loves most in the world are on a different team#that was so cruel of you QSMP admins#but I'm so curious to see how that will shake out#specifically: the fact that Mike and Pac were split up#Do you think they'd kill each other as a bit?
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Spoiling for a fight, spoiled for choice (Patreon)
#Doodles#Damned#Osmosis Jones#Ozzy#Thrax#Starting to move into random vignettes - let's see where I can slot them into place#Starting with pouting Thrax - petulance hardly suits a serial killer pls#He hasn't killed Anyone here yet ugh! Or has he lol he just wasn't happy with how it turned out#I assume a lot happened during Nightshifts but it seemed like the monsters tended to band patients together despite alignment hmm#Not that I'm planning anything different but it does make me curious!#Scribbly Thrax to set up the one of him threatening Oz#What's funny is that initially it was Drix who threw down the gauntlet basically being like ''He can't do anything here''#Drix I hate to tell you this but Yes He Can - and it's still Oz that takes the heat for it haha#Drix is not someone you want to mess with for simultaneously opposite reasons lol - he's a dorky tank it's pretty great#Although here he's just a mild-mannered Everyman - fun to take powers away!#Which of course happens to everyone haha#He can't keep any of his accessories! Naked without them!#One of the things I was the most curious about was piercings! I imagine most ear piercings could stay but others#They could be used as impromptu weapons couldn't they? Curious#Everyone's actual clothes and accessories are taken anyway so The Rest is a moot point but y'know - coping with alternatives#It's black yarn this time you can't prove anything lol#Thrax is constantly messing with his hypothalamus necklace so I imagine not having /anything/ has to feel weird to him#But of course he wouldn't be allowed to carry something that he could use against others with him! Too dangerous!#Haha if only#Really makes me want to think about his possible MU - his hand is already scarred so what's a bit more hmmm
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as I'm going back over my past history and items and journals and years, I come across all sorts of things, like the pencil I saved from that so-precious memory from second grade, and a pair of flip flops I've been missing for two years, and [checks notes] the modern-high-school-AU-kidnapped-by-a-serial-killer story I wrote in late high school jdfsjdfsjkjlksfd
#i can't wait to find out what red flags I didn't see in my own self back when I last read this thing in 2015 hfdhfdhjsfd#also. there's gonna be like a good sentence here and there and then CRINGE. the whole rest of everything is just me still trying to copy th#breathing pace (essentially) and ways-of-describing-things of mainstream authors like I thought I was supposed to#so this'll be somewhat painful but also god what a joy and a gift and an honor and a delight to get to hold this close to my heart#and witness it with understanding and empathy and slow reflection and care like my past younger self deserves#i'm so lucky i'm alive to be here and do this#i'm so grateful i'm headed towards welcoming back and embracing the last little girl i was that still felt a lot of things#so excited for her focus and precision and tenacity and constant curious joy and movement to be back someday#i'm afraid people won't like the me i was before rule after rule and then dangers#but my god it'll feel so good to be the fully-flowing energy machine and dance and conduit again how will I have enough bother to care?#people who are good to each others' nervous systems cumulatively feel better and better#if i'm not good for you and yours then you really truly SHOULD go elsewhere and find someone who makes YOUR self feel right and light + war#anyway now that i wrote an essay in the tags as usual [nervous laughter]#personal#add to journal#words n rhythm#WHY DID I FEEL CAPABLE OF UNDERTAKING A STORY LIKE THIS#cradling my past self gently but also BANGING my HEAD against the WALL lmao#i'm proud of myself for writing and sharing this and its creative ideas. even if i don't like it now or feel ashamed or see mistakes.#anything. it mattered that it came to me and it mattered that i explored it and it mattered that i poured myself through it to help shape i#and it mattered that I left it on the internet so that now it still exists. i'm going to honor this story no matter what current me would#objectively think about it if it was written by anyone else.#this is a gift i give myself now.#this is a lot of what I learn and learn to do#trauma evolution#mosswrites
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Me: oh I need to describe Berniece Crown, I'll include an off-hand comment about what kind of jewelry she's wearing
Me: ...actually what kind of jewelry would she be wearing? Gold seems the obvious choice, but she's a founding family of Gotham, so what if each family has specific corresponding metals/gemstones that they wear?
Me: that wouldn't take long to look into, right?
Also me after spending an hour considering metals in jewelry and which gemstones would work well with each metal/family: please just write an off-hand comment like a normal person
#fanfiction#Knight and Crest#it turns out the Crowns have rose gold and emeralds#no I am not looking into the history of when different metals came into use#I've set up the other five founding families metal/gemstone aesthetics I'm not getting further into the weeds on this#YOU CAN'T MAKE ME I say to MY OWN BRAIN#if anyone is curious#The Drakes are platinum and aquamarine#the Waynes are black zirconium and black diamonds#the Kanes are gold and rubies#and the Elliots are titanium and citrine
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"you see what happens when you don't listen to me?!" ( from jai . . . OOF now listen... jai is one of those guys who can NEVER hold back an 'i told you so', so i feel like an argument could have potentially built from that? maybe he warned her abt something, she got inconvinieced by smth and now he's just being ass about it 😭 could end in some tension 👀 or not ! i dont mind either way~ )
confrontations & arguments | @metrictita picks a fight!
she doesn't want to hear this right now. she didn't come here for this, and now she's wondering what else she expected from jai. it's frustrating -- the fact that he was right, and the fact that he can't let it go while chiyo babies her feelings for a little while. even worse, her throat feels tight as disappointment and anger swell in her chest in a terrible, overwhelming mixture that makes it difficult to keep her mask on. she can't pretend she doesn't care. her misty eyes will give her away soon enough.
" i didn't come here for you to rub it in, " chiyo replies, tone pointed and sharp. she isn't facing jai, having turned around with half a mind to simply leave when he began his bout of i told you so, but the artist whips around then, gaze narrowed and tears clinging to her lashes. she advances upon jai and roughly prods his chest with her pointer finger, growing more heated as she speaks.
" i came here because for some reason, seeing you after a shitty day sounded like a good idea. i don't need to be told how right you were and how stupid i was because i fucking know that, jai. i know, and i--- "
chiyo's chest heaves as the words catch in her throat, tripping over each other to make it past her lips first. she hates herself for going against her better judgement, hates people for letting her down, hates that she can't seem to connect with others like a normal fucking person. she should stop trying, stop attending parties and mixers because jai is right. she doesn't like them, and nothing ever comes of them anyway. she often doesn't enjoy herself. she gets in a mood afterward. she...
she should go home. this entire day has been one, big mistake.
chiyo's hand curls into a fist, and it collides with jai's chest in a firm but harmless hit. her teeth sink into her bottom lip, and as she cranes her head back to meet his eyes, chiyo realizes she's much closer to jai than she meant to be. there's shame in knowing she doesn't want to move away, even as angry as she is. there's shame in knowing she still wants him to embrace her. there's shame in knowing she would swallow her pride for a minute if he'd just hold her.
" if you're upset with me, then fine. " chiyo hits jai again, weaker this time. her eyes stray to his beauty mark and then to his mouth before she's able to make eye contact again. " but you don't have to be an asshole about it. "
#metrictita#uhhh this got more angsty than i meant for it to be sorry ASDFG#SHE'S GOT A LOT OF STRONG FEELINGS!! AND SO DO I!!!#jai: maybe you shouldn't do something that makes you upset#chiyo: you don't understand i fear being alone so i have to try despite how upset i get -- but i won't tell you that <3 just figure it out#asdfg and the way she really wants to be held despite how she feels in the moment breaks my heart!!!#the feeling of being so upset with the person who you went to for comfort and being so desperate for it#i'm sleepy after finishing this so i can't articulate my thoughts but thank you so much for giving me a chance to go insane vee <3<3<3#and this got away from me but i did try to incorporate some tension -- chiyo's just not entirely aware of it? bc she's upset#so i hope it came across okay!!#now i'm just curious how you think jai would react :' )) bc that was a lot :' ))#i had to be there to be loved | interactions#to restart this heart of mine | main
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