#if we’re being honest it’s definitely probably something to do with the fact that we still project self insert-ness onto our fav characters

[musclesandhammering]

99% of the time you can tell which person in a ship is the shipper’s fav by who they insist is the bottom.

[hiraethwrote]

VENT SESSION LETS GOOOO — you’re allowed to scroll if you don’t care mwah

i spend an ungodly amount of hours on this app, and i look at you as my friends so just want to let you guys know

i am also a very nosy person myself, so seems only fair i share my own situation. but if you don’t care about all this, you can just keep scrolling. i honestly don’t mind lol

anyways… a few weeks ago, i told you guys i was going through something that was kinda heavy — yeah my bf and i were going through some stuff and started seeing someone professionally… we broke up

there was an understanding that this might be outcome when we first opened up this can of worms, and there turned out to be a lot of underlying issues that both of us had refused to acknowledge

it was definitely a mutual decision. though it’s a hard pill to swallow, we came to the conclusion it was the best for the both of us

we want such vastly different things in life, things neither of us should compromise on. to me, life came at me a lot faster than i anticipated and felt like there were things left unexplored — and neither of us want to hold the other person back from what we want

however, this is a person i have been with for six years, a quarter of my life. there’s obviously a lot of shared history which is hard to let go of. it’s also so incredibly painful when we’re not splitting due to lack of affection and love for the other person, but because our desires and wants in life just don’t align

he is still my best friend, and because of how our life situation is, we will continue living together as we have been doing for the past three years (he only lives here half the time due to work), until i move across the country when summer comes. we’re also going to celebrate christmas together because it just feels right lol

i would say i am doing as well as i can… we are obviously on good terms, but this is probably one of the hardest things i’ll go through. it is the biggest heartbreak of my life. but that is really just a sign that the time we’ve shared together haven’t been a waste. we can be proud of the fact that we’ve been honest, faithful, respectful and kind throughout the entirety of our relationship, to the point where this is so hard even though it’s the right decision

obviously, i am very scared of the path that lies ahead. he has been by my side for the better half of a decade, and i have the privilege of exploring things on my own. it’s obviously what i have been missing in my life, so i am excited for what’s to come, but terrified of living a life he’s not going to be such a big part of anymore

but things are going to be fine. idk how long it will take, i am suspecting very long, but i know in my bones this is for the best for us both. so with time, i will be happy

and not to worry, i have a fantastic support system. i have incredible friends who are there for me. i am lucky to have a family who is not guilting me about leaving a long term relationship, despite also being sad. and i’ve learned i have a great community on here who has showed so much kindness, and i am so grateful <3

that being said — i am not planning on taking a break from tumblr lol. if anything, i am starting to get out of my writers block. this past week i have written more than i have the last month so that’s good! i think i might try and be a little more productive than i have been the past few weeks (at least i hope so, work is picking up again hehe)

not putting this out here for sympathy or anything, but just a little update. i am interested in the lives of those i follow, so maybe some of you are interested in mine

wishing everyone a nice weekend 🫶🏻 i got work in the morning (day after the breakup that’s fun)

[onceuponaoneshotfanfic]

Just Wanna Know You Better

Part of my Birthday Bash!

Request:“Are you trying to flirt with me?” “Yes. Is it working?”

Roy Kent x Reader

0.7k words

Warnings: Language, mentions of drinking, Reader is in a 'situationship' with Jamie Tartt (takes place in season 1), pure fluff

You liked Jamie Tartt well enough. He was good-looking, and famous, and rich, and fun. He made the right jokes and took you to the right places. And you knew that, if you let him, he’d do all the right things in bed. All the things that made up a good fling. But that’s all the gorgeous striker was. A fling. You both knew it and, if you were being honest, you were starting to feel that the fling had flung. So, you didn’t mind too much when, during a post-match celebration he invited you to, you spotted him across the club flirting with another woman. She was pretty and looked bubbly and was positively fawning all over him; she’d probably be a late-night call for him for a couple weeks, you guessed. “Alright there?” Roy Kent had joined you at the bar, gazing down at you with furrowed brows and a frown. You smiled at the midfielder and nodded, taking a sip of your drink. “Dandy,” you replied. “Yourself?” He shrugged and let his eyes flicker to Jamie and the blonde. “He’s a prick, you know that, right?” A laugh rumbled in your chest. “He’s fine,” you assured Roy. “We’re nothing serious. In fact, I was thinking it might be time to call it quits.” You ran your fingers through your hair. “We had a couple laughs, he bought me a few excellent dinners, and I got to enjoy some football. All in all, not a bad experience.” Roy’s chuckle echoed in your ears. “I think you’re officially the coolest woman Tartt’s ever gone out with,” he announced, tapping his drink to yours. That strange compliment became a few light-hearted jokes about Jamie, which became chatting about the books you’d read recently, which became you laughing at the story he decided to tell you about his recent trip to the park with his niece. As you and Roy Kent sat at the bar, you found yourself thinking less and less about Jamie Tartt, and more and more about how bummed you were that your brief time as a Greyhounds fan was ending. “I didn’t even ask, did you enjoy the match?” Roy asked as you caught your breath from giggling so much. His eyes were soft and a tiny grin played on his face; not at all the horrible twat Jamie often complained about. “I did,” you answered. “It was great. Probably the best football match I’ve seen in ages.” He nodded towards the corner where Jamie was officially canoodling with the blonde. “You caught his three goals, yeah? Fucking prick is too good and he knows it.” You nudged Roy. “Actually, I was thinking about you stopping that forward that almost scored towards the end. Probably saved the game, Kent.” His smile grew, something that didn’t happen often enough. “I did have a decent night,” he admitted, a touch of bashfulness and humility in his gruff voice. “Maybe because there’s been a gorgeous woman in the stands lately and I wanted to impress her.” The scoff that came out of your mouth was playful as your eyes sparkled at him in the colorful club lights. “Roy Kent, are you trying to flirt with me?” “Yes,” he said, completely matter of fact. He took a casual swig of his beer. “Is it working?” A blush crept up your neck and settled in your cheeks. All you could do was smile at the man who gazed at you with a mixture of teasing and hope, waiting for you to answer. As if he couldn’t already tell the answer by the shy grin on your face. He leaned close. “Listen,” he finally murmured in your ear. “I know you came to see Tartt tonight, but I was wondering…” He cleared his throat. “Maybe next time, you’ll come to see me?” You turned your head to stare at him, with his raised eyebrows and embarrassed grin. And you suddenly knew that you had to talk to Jamie straight away. Not that he would mind. And you also knew that you should definitely keep that Richmond sweater he’d given you; although you might need a different kit with a different name and number on the back. “Yeah, Kent,” you breathed. “Next time I’ll come to see you.”

[rollercoasterwords]

heyy, you said some time ago on an ask you hc Lily would give harry tons of mommy issues if alive, and I'm obsessed with this idea, please tell us more?

hi!!!! i did indeed say that….getting back to this a few days late but love this question 🌝🌝

to answer the first thing i have to explain is that in my mind lily is a bit of a cunt. she’s intelligent & ambitious—we know she was in slug club & made top marks despite not growing up in the wizarding world, which in my mind means she was likely competitive & had this sort of “i’m going to prove i’m better than these assholes” mentality & was also a perfectionist. she was used to being the favorite child/special one, bc we know her parents were excited abt her being a witch which is part of why petunia resented her; but then she had her sister & purebloods in the wizarding world putting her down, so i imagine that like…she’d have a strong sense of self worth and a need to prove herself, but also a bit of a martyr complex. at the same time, she had blinders on when it came to her own friend; we know she didn’t actually cut things off w severus despite him getting involved in nasty shit until he publicly called her a slur. this is actually one thing that i think is very similar about lily & james; though they both ostensibly had a very strong sense of justice, their blind spot was their close friends, which i imagine could make them both a bit hypocritical in that they’d say people who do x are bad but then forgive their friends who do x, etc.

ANYWAY. in a canon compliant setting if i am imagining lily & james relationship. well i’ll be honest i don’t think it was the perfect true love story etc that we’re sold in the books like. they were kids. i think that once they did get together it was v passionate & intense, made moreso by the fact that they were both fighting in a war & had the pressure of knowing they could die any day, etc.; if they hadn’t been fighting in a war, i think they would have broken up shortly after leaving school as they both followed different life paths & matured more as people & realized their first serious teenage relationship likely wasn’t going to be forever. BUT in a canon-adjacent/compliant universe war is on, their relationship is tumultuous but the dire circumstances make them cling to each other even tighter, & in my beautiful mind palace what happens is lily gets pregnant accidentally & they have a shotgun wedding. i’ve written an accidental pregnancy storyline w them in a few of my fics now so i can imagine it playing out in a couple ways, but no matter what in my mind lily was NOT planning to have a baby and has very mixed feelings about it—maybe she doesn’t realize she’s pregnant until it’s too late to do anything about it, maybe she considers aborting but decides against it, maybe she tries to abort but for some reason it doesn’t work or falls through…whatever happens, she ends up having the baby. now she’s a mother yayyyy except she’s a mum in like the most stressful circumstances ever & probably not having a joyous experience w her newborn. maybe some post-partum depression etc.

anyway. imagining canon breaking here and her becoming a mum…feel like this could go a few ways, and the exact mommy issues she’d give her kid would depend on which way it went. let’s say james dies on halloween but lily & harry both make it out; i definitely think part of her would sort of resent harry bc suddenly she’s 20 and she has to spend the rest of her life being a mum and she doesn’t get to enjoy her youth and have a normal life, and also she’s expected to raise the chosen one and also he’s kinda the reason her husband got killed. i think there’d be this sort of distance between them & i imagine her at times making an effort to be the loving mum she’s meant to be but ultimately it’s unsustainable, and harry grows up trying everything he can to make his mum really love him and develops a complex over feeling like there’s something fundamentally wrong with him bc that love & parental warmth just doesn’t come naturally to lily. & if this is a universe where voldemort’s still out to get harry then i imagine them moving around a lot, maybe living in hiding, her raising harry to one day take down voldemort…sorry but i do think she would turn him into the priest’s favorite sacrificial lamb. i think she would raise him to be a soldier/human sacrifice who is constantly feeling like he has to earn love, and neither of them would ever fully be able to give the other what they need or want, even though i do think lily would love harry…i just don’t think she’d always do a very good or consistent job of it!

[schrijverr]

I Didn’t Mean to Say I Do, but I Do. I Do. 29

Chapter 29 out of 50

Secret marriage of convenience buddie slow burn AU, where Buck and Eddie have been married for years so Buck could adopt Chris and no one at the 118 knows.

In this chapter, the 118 is forced to deal with Interim Captain Han, as well as a domestic terrorist. Eddie specifically has to deal with both, on top of his worried mother. Then his world is rocked as an explosion pins Buck down, his life hanging in the balance.

On AO3.

Ship: Buddie (slow burn)

Warnings: emotionally abusive parents, injury, minor character death mention, near death experience

~~~

Chapter 29: A Hit Close to Home

After the upheaval of Doug, everything has slowly been going back to normal. Maddie is living in her apartment by herself and going into work while having a normal social life. Chimney is back to work with all his stitches out and his normal jokes.

The one big thing, both Eddie and Buck missed. Everyone had been taken into custody over a bank robbery that occurred on the night both of them had taken off to go to parent-teacher night. If Buck was honest, he was kind of sad he missed it, because a bank robbery is kind of cool, but Eddie rightfully pointed out that having police invade their home and question them about their private life would have been bad, so he considers himself lucky.

And he considers himself doubly lucky when the whole thing causes Bobby to be suspended for what they found. He and Eddie wouldn’t have fared better under the magnifying glass and the fact that they barely managed to get off scot free feels like a reminder from the universe that it can explode in their face at any moment.

On top of that, Chimney is the most horrible Interim Captain. After that first shift, he and Eddie get in the car and sit there silently for a second, just staring out the front window. When a few seconds of silence have passed, Buck tentatively says: “Was it just me or was that…”

“…Excessively horrible?” Eddie finishes when he trails off.

“Uh, yeah,” Buck snorts.

“It totally was. Bobby needs to come back, right now. I think I will have to accidentally break a leg or something to get away from him if this last any longer,” Eddie says, sounding almost panicked.

Buck completely agrees, but he can’t help, but laugh at how horrified Eddie sounds at the idea of having Chim as their Captain for longer. He snorts: “Please don’t get injured, I’ll have to listen to you being grumpy about it, but I get the sentiment.”

“Hey, I’m not grumpy,” Eddie squawks.

Buck can only raise a brow at him in reply.

“Oh shut up,” Eddie pouts, before prodding him. “And start driving, otherwise Chim might spot us and make us do gear inspections.”

“We’re off the clock,” Buck points out, even when he does as told.

“I don’t think he cares.”

The next shift isn’t much better and when they’re home for their day off, feeling beat from the work day with Chimney and frustrated with their lack of Captain, Buck suddenly gets up and says: “I’m going to talk to Bobby, see if there is anything we can do. This can’t go on.”

“Smart plan,” Eddie says immediately getting up. “I’ll come too.”

“No, no, we need to play it smart,” Buck says, looking around before grabbing a blank piece of paper, which is part of Chris’s drawing stack, and one of his colorful markers. He writes as he talks: “I don’t know if there is anything we can do, but Bobby is probably doing nothing. Now, I think that if we all show up independently and complain – I mean, we can definitely get Hen in on this, maybe some of the others – then Bobby will feel an urgency and…”

Buck continues to plan the demise of Captain Han as Eddie watches fondly. He’s pretty sure planner Evan is what Hen and Chimney refer to as Clipboard Buck. He hasn’t met that version of him at work yet, but he doesn’t get what the others complain about. Planner Evan is helpful and it’s dorky in a fun way. Very Buck. Eddie doesn’t mind him, he quite likes his company in fact.

So, he just listens along as Buck lays out a plan to get Bobby to push to be reinstated so that Captain Han can become their Chimney again.

Indeed over the following days, Eddie also makes his way over to Bobby’s house, even when he told Buck they couldn’t do anything, and he knows Buck talked Johnson and Kelly into it as well. Plus, Hen went on her own too.

It hasn’t worked yet, but they hold out hope and bitch about Chimney together in the meantime.

They answer to a call from a chocolate factory, which is an interesting call and Eddie can’t believe Chim called Bobby for that; a bombed porch, which is wild, they haven’t responded to anything that might need a bomb squad since Eddie’s first day; and a car crash where a woman dies, which Chimney seems to take harder than usual now that he’s responsible for it as Captain.

Despite how much they hate Captain Han, all of them are a little more subdued and obedient for the rest of the shift, feeling how Chimney sags under the weight.

Chimney is quieter all day too and he doesn’t speak to anyone when he leaves at the end. All of them automatically look at Hen after Chimney’s dejected back has disappeared into the parking lot. Hen gives them all a comforting look and says: “I’ll talk to him.”

None of them know what Hen said to him, but the next shift he’s more bearable and they all let out a sigh of relief.

However, with a tentative new balance in the workplace, there is still a threat outside of it. The porch bomb they answered isn’t the only one and it seems the whole of LA is in the grip of this terrorist. No one expects to be hit and LA is a big city, but him and Buck are both a little nervous regardless, a feeling that is seemingly shared by most people they run into, which is quite high given the nature of their job. They answer to a lot of false alarms.

The people in LA aren’t the only ones, who are worried. It’s a day or so after that second bomb went off, that his mom calls.

“Thank God you are alive,” she greets him.

“Mom, I texted you yesterday,” Eddie replies, a little confused. Sending Buck a look, who just frowns back. They’d been doing their taxes, a chore they had been putting off, when the phone went, so he’s across from Eddie, piles of paper still between them.

“And anything could have happened in that time,” Helena tells him. “I want to speak to Chris, know that he’s okay.”

“Chris is at school. It’s Wednesday.”

“You let him go to school! With a maniac planting bombs on the lose?”

“All the attacks have been residential buildings so far. Homes. He’s safer at school than here when you think about it,” Eddie says, trying to be patient.

“He’s not safe anywhere in that city. You never should have moved there,” Helena berates him.

Eddie knows Buck can hear her just fine with the volume she’s speaking at, even when she isn’t on speaker. So, he makes eye contact and makes a frustrated expression as makes a choking something gesture with his free hand. Being so far from them for so long, makes it easier to be upset.

Buck snorts softly, before holding out his hand with a cocked head, asking if Eddie needs him to take over.

He shakes his head no, before he answers: “Mom, you know you’re overreacting. You’re not calling tía Pepa to tell her to uproot her life and move back, are you?”

“She’s not my child. And she’s an adult.”

“I’m an adult,” Eddie reminds her.

Helena makes a bristling sound, as if she finds that notion ridiculous. “You’re barely twenty-seven, you’re still practically a baby.”

“No, I’m already twenty-seven, I’ve been an adult for nearly a decade. Just because you don’t treat me like one, doesn’t mean you’re right. I can make decisions for myself just fine.”

“And what about Christopher, huh?” his mom switches gears when her first plan of attack doesn’t work. “If you want to be a man so bad, then what about your son? Is it the responsible thing to do to stay in a city where there is a terrorist running around?”

Eddie blood boils and he walks out of the room to take the arguing away from Buck, sending him a short look to communicate he shouldn’t follow as he retreats to his room. Already on the walk there, he’s snapping: “It’s nothing to move over. Everywhere dangerous things can happen. Didn’t you have a tornado warning there just last week?”

“That’s just the weather, not someone with bombs! And it turned out to be nothing.”

“This might also turn out to be nothing.”

“It’s a bomb, not a cloud, Edmundo. You’re not stupid, you know it’s not the same. Move back, El Paso has fires too.”

“I can’t just move back, mom,” Eddie says hotly. “It’s not that simple, I’m still a probationary firefighter. I’m so close to earning my shield. You want me to just throw away the last year of my life?”

His mom is silent and that is almost more telling than her words. Eddie lets out a sigh, shoulders dropping from a defensive stance to a defeated sag. “Right, of course. That’s exactly what you want me to do.”

“Don’t be so dramatic. We just want to be in Chris’s life, see him grow up. Safe. You’re paying for help we could provide for free, allow you to save up, give Chris a better life.”

“I won’t uproot him again.”

He hates how his mom can always make him feel like a kid again, like she’s talking down on him, because she knows better and he’s just too young to understand that yet. “Christopher hasn’t been there long enough to put down roots. He spend the first six years of his life in El Paso, with us for a large part.” She says it gently, as if she is explaining something he doesn’t want to hear, but should comprehend.

Angrily, Eddie says: “He spend most of his time when he wasn’t with me with Buck and his mother, actually. And he’s still here with his parents. Where he should be. It’s what’s best for Christopher and he has plenty of roots here. He loves his school, loves this house and loves Carla. I’m not taking that from him, because you’re irrationally scared.”

“It’s not irrational to be scared of a bomber,” she retorts, equally hot headed. All the gentle condescending from early gone in the face of anger.

“It is and you know it. Now, I’m going to hang up and you can call when you actually want to talk instead of fight.” With that he does hang up as fast as he can, before she can reply. He doesn’t pick up when she immediately calls back and ignores the messages that start to come in as he returns to the kitchen, falling into the chair across from Buck with a sigh.

“Rough call?” he grimaces sympathetically.

“You know how she can get. Wants us to move back,” Eddie rolls his eyes, then amends: “Well, she wants Chris to move back, pretty sure the two of us can sink into the shit for all she cares. I mean, don’t you know how irresponsible we are for letting Chris live in the same city as a bomber?”

“Jikes,” Buck hisses at his impression of his mom.

“I know right,” Eddie sighs, sinking over their taxes. He sulks for a second, before taking a breath as he sits back up. “Let’s just do our taxes. Captain Han can still restart his reign of terror and I’d like to get this over with before he sucks out all my energy.”

Buck gets the memo to move on, because Eddie doesn’t want to talk about it, grinning: “Once Bobby is back, we’ll joke about the terrible regime of dictator Han.”

“Bobby isn’t back yet,” Eddie says mock-pointedly, tone showing that he won’t be joking about it until their actual Captain is safely reinstalled.

The dramatics of it all make Buck laugh as he turns back to the paperwork, the rest of the day passing in peace.

That night Eddie does call his mom back so they can talk to Chris. He is still incredibly frustrated with her, but he doesn’t want his mom to actually worry and he will always still love her, even when they make him want to punch something. Though, he only hands over the phone when she promises she won’t talk about the bombings or moving back to El Paso, hovering visibly in the background to ensure she keeps it, since she video calls when it’s Chris.

Luckily for them, she keeps it civil and Chimney doesn’t restart terrorizing them. So, the following days, their shifts and life continue as normal.

The normal they’ve been enjoying gets ruined when dispatch crackles over the radio: “118, 118, this is dispatch. Got Bobby Nash on the line, he says it’s important.”

All of them frown in confusion, sharing looks. It’s not normal for a suspended Captain to suddenly appear on official channels that are reserved for first responders. Whatever must have happened, must certainly be something, but none of them have any idea what it might be.

“Wait, what?” Chimney says confused, picking up the radio to confirm: “Dispatch? Dispatch, please repeat.”

Before dispatch can ever repeat, there is a loud boom and fire flashes behind them. All of them instinctively duck down in their seats, before realizing it’s not them, quickly looking back.

The other engine is upturned. Burning.

Firefighters are lying everywhere, having been tossed around by the explosion.

Fuck, there was an explosion.

Buck.

Buck was in the other engine.

Eddie’s ears are still ringing and his hands suddenly feel numb as he watches firefighter figures move around without being able to identify any of them. He doesn’t panic, but he imagines if he did, it would feel something like this. It’s worse than that day in the restaurant when his papi told him to divorce Buck. Way worse. He could be dead.

He gasps, stumbling over himself as he clambers out of the rig. His shaking hands are something he’ll get under control when he gets to Buck. He just has to get to Buck first and then he can help. Do something. Anything.

A hand gripping the neck of his uniform stops him in his tracks and he whips his head around to glare at Hen. “What the fuck are you doing? Buck was on that engine. He could be hurt.”

“Look,” Hen says, her voice filled with indignant anger and frustration.

Eddie looks again. He’d been so focused on the figures on the floor, trying to read their turnouts to look for the name Buckley, that he hadn’t seen the figure that had appeared between them. The figure wearing a bomb jacket. Suddenly calling his mom irrational feels really ironic.

If Hen hadn’t stopped him, he would have stepped right into his line of sight. For now the rest of them are still hidden behind the other engine, ready to make a move. Eddie wants to make a move now, but he recognizes that whoever the kid with the bomb is, he’ll detonate it before he can get close. And that will definitely hurt Buck, if he isn’t hurt already.

It rubs him wrong to stand there idly as a parameter is set up by police and journalist flood the scene. However, he isn’t paying much attention to it, too focused on scanning the firefighters that are down so he can find Buck.

He can’t see clearly, because they’re all keeping their heads down, since they’re hostages, making them harder to identify. Not to mention the smoke clouding the view.

When he finally does, his breath catches. Buck is under the engine, his leg pinned and heavily injured. Probably a crush injury, those can be tricky, he thinks, hypovolemic shock or hyperkalemia. Fuck, he’s all alone there, with no one to help. Eddie is right there, but he’s fucking stuck, hiding behind the other engine. This is worse than being pinned next to a crashed helicopter, at least then he could act. At least then it wasn’t family.

They all hate it, he can tell Hen and Chim are getting frustrated too, but it’s as if his brain has shut off. All he can do is just stand there and look at Buck and try not to break down.

It’s unfair. It’s so fucking unfair. Buck has always been there, ready to jump in when Eddie needed help and now he needs help and Eddie can only stand there. Again. He hates it. He hates it so much.

“Dispatch, this is Captain 118. What is the play? I’ve got people dying in the street,” Chimney radios when nothing continues to happen.

Eddie flinches slightly at his words, unable to imagine a world where Buck doesn’t live. He already experienced how much it sucks when Buck couldn’t be there every hour, how bad would it be if Buck can’t be there for any hour?

“Hold your position, 118,” comes the reply and Eddie wants to go punch whoever is on the other side making that call.

Before Eddie can do something stupid – like rip the radio out of Chimney’s hand so he can curse out whoever is on their frequency – the bomber starts calling out: “Get me the Captain. Where is the Captain?” One of the firefighters starts to get away and the bomber threatens: “Hey, I told you not to move.”

Chimney is already walking before they can stop him. A part of Eddie is cheering inside, because finally something is happening, but he doesn’t want to see Chimney hurt either. He’s been hurt too often already. Still, if it’ll save Buck, he’ll support it.

“I’m the Captain,” he says, hands in the air to show surrender. “I’m the Captain, so please just let me help them, okay? Please.”

“No. No, I don’t want you. I want Captain Nash.”

Eddie finds himself closing his eyes and turning his face to the heavens. He can’t deal with this right now. He can’t deal with this not being good enough. Buck is whimpering in pain and he’s standing there, frozen, trying to stuff all the feelings back into the box, so they don’t overwhelm him, but every new development is testing him.

Then, as if summoned by his desperation, Bobby’s voice can be heard as he appears from between the fire. “Freddie.” Oh, so that’s the bomber’s name, how does Bobby know that?

“Thought you’d be on the truck,” Freddie, apparently, replies, angry at the news that he wasn’t.

It hits Eddie that Buck was in Bobby’s chair today, because of the suspension. Had that truck not broken, the heist wouldn’t have happened, Bobby wouldn’t have been suspended, and it would have been him, not Buck under that engine.

He thought they’d been lucky, to not have been there that day, but he would have taken being fired and unemployed at home, his parents proven right, over this.

“I’m here now. So, what’s next?” Bobby asks, coming closer, even with his hands raised. “It’s what you wanted.”

“Wanted you dead,” Freddie says and Eddie vindictively thinks, I want you dead.

“I get that, but what about them?” Bobby counters, keeping his cool and gesturing the other injured firefighters. Then he points at Buck and asks: “What about him?”

Eddie wants to scream ‘what are you doing? don’t bring attention to them, to Buck,’ but he stands there frozen as Freddie looks at Buck again.

Bobby continues: “He’s got parents, a sister, friends, people that rely on him. And he never did anything to you. He wasn’t even a firefighter when your father burned down that restaurant.”

It’s such a gross under-representation of who Buck is, of all the people that care about him. Of all the people he cares about. Sure, he has parents, but they suck, but he also is a parent. He’s one of the best goddamn parents Eddie knows. He’s a parent with Eddie. He’s his partner. His co-parent. His husband.

And yes, he knows it isn’t like that, but he longs to yell out that Buck is his fucking husband and this shithead needs to let him go right now, because he can’t do it without him. However, the words get stuck in his throat, the honesty of it too much for Eddie, though he isn’t able to pinpoint why through the despair.

“Collateral damage,” Freddie says, his cold tone cutting through Eddie’s disjointed, desperate thoughts. He knows that tone. That’s the tone of someone, who doesn’t care. Of someone, who has nothing left to lose. Of someone, who will let Buck die.

Without thought, he starts moving forward, ready to fight this Freddie character. He’s had enough, he can’t stand there anymore. He can’t. He needs to act, he needs to help Buck, he needs to punch something.

Hen’s arms appear around him, along with Kelly’s arms, the two of them working to keep him behind the engine as Bobby tries to talk more with Freddie. Eddie isn’t really paying attention to what is being said and he doesn’t know who the lady is. All he knows that at some point, Bobby manages to wrestle the bomber into submission until he can be taken into custody, and that they let him go the second he is.

Eddie is sprinting across the street immediately, sliding down next to Buck without a care for his scraped knees. He should be checking him over, but he can’t focus on anything, hands uselessly trying to push the engine off him.

He only realizes that is not going to help, when Hen drops down next to him, pushing medical equipment in his hands. Mechanically he starts to do what needs to be done, as Hen asks: “Buck, how’re we doing?”

“Kind of numb,” Buck says with a shaky, small voice. Eddie hates that voice.

“Just hang in there,” Eddie manages to push out of his throat. It doesn’t sound very convincing, but it is something. He needs to do something. He can’t just sit there uselessly. He needs to help. He turns the nob he used to turn when he was in the army, forcing himself to become a good little soldier, so he can make it through this.

As they’re working, he tries to distract Buck from what must be a great amount of pain. “You know when I said I would break a leg to get away from Captain Han’s reign of terror, I was joking, you know that right?”

“Fuck off.” It’s weak, but it’s there.

“You actually said that?” Hen asks, sounding amused.

“I wasn’t that bad,” Chimney interjects, before going back to yelling into the radio for backup.

He definitely was, but Eddie doesn’t find it that funny anymore right now. However, it keeps them all distracted as their meager back up files in to come help lift the engine of Buck’s foot.

Everyone seems to realize that Eddie isn’t moving away from Buck’s side. He has gripped his hand tight, even before everyone gets in position, ready to drag him out. Buck grips back equally tight and Eddie hopes that it’s a comfort, because it’s all he can give right now. All he can do to help, until this engine is off him.

But it’s not enough. Not enough people, not enough manpower. Eddie knows he will never forget the way Buck screams as he helplessly tugs at him, praying it will be enough. It has to be enough, but it isn’t

Desperate, he looks up at Bobby, probably looking a mess, eyes red with unshed tears. “Is there anything on the truck we can use for leverage?”

Bobby crushes any hope he has of getting Buck out sooner. “No, we need more people.”

Eddie wants to scream, bite into something and tear it out with his teeth or punch the ground until his knuckles bleed. But Buck is holding his hand. Buck needs him right now. So he stays right there and keeps holding his hand.

He doesn’t have it in himself to be touched by the bystanders, who come in to help. He is grateful to them for helping them get Buck out, but he can’t even think of them. Too focused on Buck, on his screams, on his tight grip on his hand.

Once he’s finally freed, Eddie is only in the way and they all know it, but Buck is still clinging to him and Eddie doesn’t really feel like letting go either. So, he stays attached by his side, sardonically thinking, in sickness and in health, right, as the others get Buck onto a backboard and lifted.

Without any discussion, Eddie goes into the ambulance. Hen and Chimney get in too, everyone knows that Eddie isn’t there as a paramedic right now. He’s the family of the victim. And he’s useless now that Buck is free. The box of stuffed away feelings is about to burst and it takes all his energy to keep it in.

Right now he really misses the normal they’d just returned back to.

~~

A/N:

Eddie liking Clipboard Buck is my Roman Empire, I think it is so iconic of them that they indulge each other and love all the little things. Like, they’ll be a lover for the other, despite the haters <3

(also love that this is my endnote on the Buck explodes chapter lmao)

Also it’s not Shannon in my head, who died at the car crash, but wouldn’t it be fucked if she was and neither Buck nor Eddie saw her, so they just never know?

[tsams-killswap-au]

Theoretical question (mainly for Moon, since its more science-y than i think Sun would like to answer) Lets say you two didn't decide to make a whole new body, but instead carefully stitch your codes together as a more safely structured base.

If that were to happen, i have heard from other sources that it wouldn't be two to come out with a bunch of risks, but one singular being with minimal risks.

Would you two have chosen to merge in a way, than to be separated?

Moon, Would you have done that as a liable option to not risk Sun's ai and body, or your own body?

And Sun, even though Moon doesn't appear for work often, do you still take at least a little break to recharge, either literally or mentally?

Moon: Me and Sun MERGING? 

Moon: That’s a new one. The idea never even crossed my mind. 

Moon: First of all– Hmm– yeah, I could probably pull that off. It shouldn’t be any harder than what it took to separate us. 

Moon: Second of all, the fact it carries way less risk is something to consider. We thought separating was the only option, and accepted everything that could go wrong, but we could have weighed the pros and cons if we’d known about merging.

Moon: But I don’t know if I’d WANT that. 

Moon: When I first woke up, I was trapped in Sun’s head. We were already stuck together, and we both hated it. I don’t think I’d want to fuse together. 

Moon: Maybe if it was the ONLY way to stop the pain we were going through, but to be honest? I just wanted to be my own person. 

Moon: And it wasn’t just MY decision. When me and Sun stopped fighting and agreed to be brothers, we BOTH chose to do this.

Sun: WHAT are they asking? 

Moon: They brought up the idea that we could have fused into one person, instead of separating. 

Sun: Huh–  You mean like… Garnet? 

Moon: Yeah, sure. Like Garnet. I was thinking Fu- sion - HAH. 

Sun: Huh! We can do that? 

Moon: Yeah I probably could have figured it out.

Sun: Well that’d be kinda weird, don’t you think? I mean, I’m ME, and you’re YOU! If we fused, wouldn’t we cease to exist and someone else would replace us!? 

Moon: Mmmmm actually yes, that’s probably EXACTLY what would happen. 

Sun: What would happen to our personalities!? I love kids and you hate them, so what would this hypothetical new guy think!? 

Moon: You know, that’s a damn good question. What do you get when you mix care and hate together? 

Sun: And you’re smart, and I– aaaam– NOT smart! Would our brains be mixed together, making this new guy slightly smarter than you are now? Or would ME subtract from YOU and they’d be dumber than you but smarter than me? 

Moon: Ooor maybe a fucked up patchwork of all our traits mixed and matched.  

Sun: And you’re a jerk and I’m NICE! Which one would this guy be!?

Sun: Besides!! I’m Sun and you’re Moon! What would that make us, if we fused into one person!? 

Moon: *Snrk* I mean let’s just think here, Sun! There’s only one thing you COULD call it. We’d be an Eclipse. 

Sun: Ahh yeahhh. But you’re blue and I’m yellow and that makes GREEN! So… wouldn’t that make us an Earth, since the Earth’s the only thing in space that’s green? 

Sun: (I mean it’s blue, but it’s also green!) 

Moon: Don’t people usually call the Earth, like, “Mother Earth?” 

Sun: Ohh, yeah. 

Moon: I mean, I don’t really care, I’d be fine with it. 

Sun: You’re right, you’re right though, an Eclipse just makes more sense!

Sun: But, I dunno! 

Sun: I like being myself! And I like Moon being my Brother!  I like that we’re our own people! 

Moon: Yeah, I like that too. I wanted space, I wanted FREEDOM. I didn’t want to be turned into someone else. 

Sun: I definitely don’t want to be turned into someone else!! I don’t want to die and get reborn as someone different! I want to be ME! 

Sun: So naaah, nah, I don’t think we’d have done a fusion dance.

Moon: So even if we'd had both options back then, we still would have chosen to separate, even if the risk was a lot higher than merging was.

Sun: But it’s neat to think about and imagine!

[maikissed]

i've got my eye on you

Richarlison x reader

In which y/n keeps embarassing herself infront of Richarlison most of the night, he’s being a player (because of course he is) and they end up flirting at the terrace stairs what makes them absolutely enchanted with each other.

warnings: usage of drugs and alcohol

posting this in a hurry because it's cl night so sorry for any mistakes.

part 2 is here

The weather was pleasantly warm. You and your best friend were chilling on the loungers in the garden after smoking a blunt. You could hear music blasting from the house, the party was going wild with so many people gathered in.

„Bro, i am cooked” you murmured leaning your head on the back of the chair.

„Yeah this stuff is gooood” she answered laughing lightly.

Your head has become light and you were smiling, breathing in the spring air. There where times when weed made you dizzy and sleepy, which is why you weren’t very willing to smoke usually. But you changed your mind tonight and didn’t regret it. You felt super relaxed.

„Should we go back inside? This is fucked up, we’re at the party and we’re literally meditating in the garden” you heard Sheira say.

You burst out laughing at her remark and she accompanied.

„I’ve been needing to pee for like 30 minutes” you said seriously which elicited another laugh from your friend.

„Girl, then go, oh my God. I’ll wait for you here then”

„Do you know where the toilet is?” you asked standing up.

You haven’t had time to get to fully look around Luke’s newly bought house yet.

„Um, one is downstairs down the corridor and there’s a second one upstairs, straight from the stairs on the right”

„Okay, but don’t move anywhere from here, bitch”

„Alright, alright!” she kept smiling and laughing, readjusting on the seat.

You went up inside, the great noise surrounded you the moment you crossed the door and you smiled at the familiar group of people when you passed them. It was way hotter inside, you could feel an invisible layer of warm air hugging your skin, your senses definitely sharper due to your state.

You noticed that there was a queue to the bathroom on the first-floor, so you decided to head upstairs, hoping no one will actually be there. The moment you passed the last step of the stairs, the door to the bathroom opened and a skinny blonde girl appeared infront of you with her eyes focused on the phone screen. She passed you without even looking your way and went down the stairs. You hummed happy with the fact that you can quickly use the bathroom so you just reached for the door handle and barged in. Unexpectedly you collided with something hard and huffed surprised.

„Shit, sorry, I thought it wasn’t occupied” you said looking at the tall guy infront of you bearing a slightly startled expression.

„It’s fine, I was just leaving” he answered with an accent and your mind actually comprehended that you’ve just runned into one of the football players.

Luke, the party organizer, has been mingling in various environments, so you were often meeting some less or more famous people. You did recognise some of them, especially the ballers. And this one you knew as well, but not personally. You didn’t remember being introduced to Richarlison but you’ve spotted him at a few parties at Luke’s. To be honest you have been avoiding football players. Some of them were arrogant or just man whores. This one was clearly the latter.

You didn’t move, just stared at his face for a few seconds and after truly realising what you’ve just run into, you smiled foolishly and started laughing. You couldn’t control it even if you wanted to, covering your mouth with your hand did not help. The situation was riddiculous, you were stoned as hell, which was probably pretty obvious.

„What’s so funny?” you heard him ask sternly.

Oh so he was arrogant as well.

„Sorry, I um… wanted to use the bathroom” you shrugged with a permanent smile plastered on your face, avoiding eye contact with the guy.

„Well, then let me pass and you’ll be free to do your thing.”

Right, you still haven’t moved and were blocking the exit. You facepalmed yourself mentaly and stepped aside. He passed your form in the door frame, facing and looking down at you. It hit you how close you two were for a split second and you cleared your dry throat.

„See you around” he added and when you lifted your head in his direction you noticed a shadow of a smile on his lips.

„Hope not” you said to yourself locking the door, still feeling hazy.

You took a look at yourself in the mirror and met the reflection of your heavy lids and reddened eyes. Yup, you were stoned like a goat.

When you came back downstairs Sheira was at the mini bar laughing at something Luke said.

„What took you so long?” she asked throwing her arm aroung you „Did you tap somebody in the bathroom?”

The comment made you laugh loudly.

„No I did not”

„Well you should, it would do you good” she shrugged.

„Fuck you” you answered geting a bottle of water to drink. You throat was dry as a desert.

You looked around and noticed the girl that was in the bathroom with Richarlison. She was stunning, to say the least, her long blonde hair was falling in gentle waves down her back. She was all slim legs, full lips and shining light blue eyes. The dress she was wearing wasn’t very modest but she still looked classy. In oppose to you in your high state. You snorted and looked the other way spotting mentioned footballer. Richarlison was sitting at the sofa surrounded by a few people. A glass with a dark liquor in his hand, his long legs spread widely, he was laughing at something being said. You took a moment to study him. His bleached hair matched his maroon eyes and darker complexion quite pleasantly, you thought. His face was all firm edges and defined bones, which truly made him really handsome. But it was his eyes that were the most appealing – deep dark frame giving off almost dangerous gaze. And you were staring. The realization made you uncomfortable so you looked away trying to focus on the conversation between Luke and Sheira but something pulled your eyes into his direction again. And in fact, he was already looking at you, deep dark frame of his eyes; dangerous, daring gaze. You gulped feeling your legs go weak. What the fuck?

 “Shots?” you heard Luke shout to you and you nodded not giving a fuck that if you’ll start drinking while still being high, you might not end this evening in a good state.

After a few rounds you found yourself on the dancefloor laughing and moving vigorously to some trap song. The room was getting hotter minute by minute, you felt your skin becoming sticky and you were out of breath. You desperatly needed some fresh air so you headed to the terrace. The night was peaceful and the garden was softly lit. You took one step down the stairs of the terrace and felt youself losing your balance, but before you actually fell down you felt someone’s arms wrap around your middle.

“Shit” you muttered.

“Careful” you heard a familiar accent and when you turned your head you spotted none other than Richarlison wearing a sly smirk while, once again, looking down at you because of the hight difference.

His hot hands were still gripping the exposed skin of your waist and the sensation added to your already flushed state. He let go of you after making sure that you’re standing straight.

“Thank you” you said and decided to sit down so you won’t embarrass yourself further by faltering and landing on your face on the grass.

“May I know your name?” he sat next to you.

You considered telling him a wrong name, as you often did when you weren’t interested in the guy that was hitting on you, but you were way too drunk to play one of your little games.

“It’s y/n” you said stretching your legs and looking down at your heavy boots.

“Nice to meet you y/n. I’m Richarlison”

“I know” you smiled cheekily.

Why would you say that? You’ve already made yourself look like a fool like a thousand times tonight in his pressence. You giggled.

“I see that you’re having fun” he added, his expression soft.

“And you? Are you having fun?” you looked at him through your long lashes and smiled once again.

“Isn’t that obvious?”

“Mhm” you murmured leaning back on your hands. It was not a comfortable position but your limbs were too tired to made you care.

Your eyes landed on a tattoo decorating his neck and then followed down his inked arm.

“I like your tattoos” you said briefly.

“Thanks” he looked your way readjusting himself on the step “Do you have any?”

“Not in a place that I could show you without it being inappropriate”

Oh you did not just start flirting with the guy. You had this thing that you often caught yourself flirting during any conversations you’ve had. It’s not like it was on purpose, it was just a manner that you had. Maybe it was something that you’ve developed through the years of always feeling too intimidated with people. Made you feel more powerful.

He laughed at your comment looking down. You noticed that it made him a little bit flustered. Well, that’s interesting. You bit your lip not taking your eyes off of him.

“Now I’m uh…” he scrunched his eyebrows as if to find a word “…curious”

The comment made you smile widely and you rised up back to a fully sitting position.

“Don’t try to take me to the bathroom so you can find out” you said without thinking.

For a second you worried it sounded way too straightforward. But he did not seem to be offended at all.

“I won’t” he laughed “Unless you want me to”

A smug grin appeared on his face and you couldn’t contain a giggle.

“Oh, you’re very cunning. That’s how you get yourself all the pretty girls, I suppose?”

“Most of the time, some doesn’t seem to get fooled easily”

“Well, you need to put in a little more effort then” you tilted your head looking at his lips.

You liked the shape of them. You realised you let your mind wander and it took you aback. Too much weed and too much alcohol. Unfortunately before you took your eyes off of him, he seemed to notice your stare. You looked down biting your lip trying to contain a smile but it was pointless.

“I’ve been seeing you around a few times” it was him who broke the silence “I’ve just never grew the courage to come up and talk to you”

Him? The guy that you almost caught hooking up with this blondie model in the bathroom on the second floor? Too intimidated to talk to you? He was fucking with you right now for sure. Your eyes widened sneeringly.

“Oh, please” you answered “You’re shooting your shot right now, aren’t you?”

He laughed with you sincerely.

“Maybe, but it’s true though. You are very pretty” he murmured making you blush.

He’s clearly a playboy, you thought, trying to lure you. The way he looked at you caused shivers to run down your spine and it almost made you want to fall right into his trap. It was quite funny to be honest. You haven’t reacted this way to a boy’s attention ever.

 “Thank you” you answered sweetly “But just because I’m quite drunk and high right now doesn’t mean I’ll fall for your pretty words, Richarlison”

His name falling of your lips made him look down at your mouth and your heart skipped a beat. Oh, he’s definitely going to cause some problems. You decided to stand up, feeling a tad tense. 

 “I feel better now” you took a deep breath “Are you coming in?”

“Sure” he nodded, his eyes shone with amusement.

As you entered the room walking side by side you immediately spotted the look on Sheira’s face and almost wanted to run up to her to cover her mouth before she said something embarrassing, as she was often used to. But she said nothing and let’s thank the God himself for that. Enough embbarassment for one night.

You did not part with Richarlison though, you spent the rest of the party with a group of friends, talking and joking around and you’ve taken a notice that he was in fact quite the entertainer. He was funny, charming and captivating and it visibly made everyone drown into him and engrossed in anything he was saying. You couldn’t take your eyes off of him, being enchanted by his appealing aura, the way he moved or spoke Portuguese to a few of his friends, even when you couldn’t understand a word. You kept stealing glances towards eachother, your skin was tingling almost regretful that you were surrounded by all these people and not alone. Something was telling you that Richarlison felt exactly the same, as you noticed that he was trying to come closer to where you stood every few passing minutes. It probably looked innocent from someone elses perspective but you two were like magnets to eachother, desperate to feel that dazzling closeness that if lasted too long, may bring your minds and bodies into maddening overdrive. Therefore when your arms brushed against eachother briefly, your body reacted on its own accord and you jumped slighlty, feeling your cheeks heating up. This energy between the both of you was dangerous. You were trying to focus on your breathing, so you wouldn’t suffocate, and to calm your relentlessly beating heart, so you won’t start to shake but you found it difficult to containt two things at a time. What a childish reactions you had, but you just couldn’t help it.

“Are you alright?” Richarlison lowered his head to whisper in your ear.

Sweet tickling goosebumps spread over your neck. That feeling almost made your knees buckle. If he asked you if you wanted to join him in that damn bathroom right this moment the same way, you’d probably agree.

“Mhm” you hummed and looked up at this face.

His eyes shone with that familiar amusement. It was so easy to get lost in them.

“Do you want to go outside? Take a breath?”

“No, I’m ok” you answered.

You were standing way too close to eachother to have a conversation as simple as this. You could’ve say yes to finally get him alone with you once again but it was too late because Sheira was already at your side, asking if it was alright if you two headed home now. You agreed telling her that you’ll join her in the yard in a second. It was very late, after all.

“It was nice to meet you Richarlison” you smiled flirtatiously at him.

“Can’t wait to see you again, y/n”

“I know” you bit your lip to hold back a giggle and turned around to find your friend.

You woke up at noon with just a slight headache and a message from a certain football player displayed on your phone screen.

i got carried away at the end, but the tensionnnnnn

[chaoticdelinqueerwithglitter]

Time, mystical time (cutting me open, then healing me fine)

(Fluffly fic for Mikey's bday)

(Final tl HaruMai)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MIKEY, TODAY IS YOUR DAY FOR BEING A LIL SPOILED BRAT! (and lucky you, Haru is here to make it happen uwu)

And yes, I know for Haru bday I only gave him angst as a gift but since I can't compete with his worst bday in canon Mikey got fluff instead.

(link to ao3 in case someone wants to read it there)

Summary: Haruchiyo wasn’t the same person Mikey used to love — it was an objective fact that this was for the best.

(or Mikey being deeply in denial about his feelings for Haru)

Warnings: NONE! I swear it! Well, manga spoilers and a breave and not-graphic at all mention on some canon compliant violence from the final battle. Enjoy the fluff?

(English is not my first language, so be nice please 🙈)

“Can I light a small fire at least?” 

It was their first year of middle school and the day was definitely too windy for hiding on the rooftop. Haruchiyo dragged them here, complaining how exhausting it was having to avoid those “annoying airhead girls” who tried to give him chocolate. Mikey found it hilarious, especially because he knew none of those poor girls had a chance with his friend — he was undoubtedly gay. Still in the closet, but well, it was just a matter of time, right? 

Mikey rolled his eyes at this, of course that was Baji’s answer to fight the cold. To be honest, he felt tempted to agree — he had a weak spot for seeing those little fangs peeking out from his friend's grin. 

“Are you stupid? That would let them know we’re here! We’re supposed to be hiding, remember?” 

“And that’s absolutely the only reason why we shouldn’t start a fire on school grounds, clearly.”

That earned him a dismissive shrug from Baji and a sheepish smile from Haruchiyo — untainted and perfect. He burst into laughter, damn it, they were so chaotic. How could he live so many years without them by his side?

“Boohoo, poor you, being chased by pretty girls who want to give you food” 

“Not everyone thinks with their stomach, Keisuke.” Haruchiyo deadpanned as a comeback. “And you know I don’t like them.” 

There was something in the inflection of his voice — and the intense look he gave to Baji — that made Mikey feel like he was missing something. Right on cue, Baji babbled incoherently about forgetting something and quickly disappeared. 

“Weird.” He said nonchalantly. “Any idea of what the fuck was all that about?” 

He turned towards his friend — more than ready to make fun of Baji together — but his smile dropped at the sight.

The sight of Haruchiyo blushing like crazy, staring at the floor and holding out a box of what looked like homemade chocolates. 

“They’re filled with red bean jam!” 

Oh.

Oh.

“Ummm… Thanks?” 

Mikey mumbled uncomfortably, accepting the gift. His friend put who knows how many hours into making them, it would be wrong to dismiss his effort — nothing to do with the fact the filling was his favorite, obviously. 

He realized his mistake too late — when Haruchiyo finally looked up with eyes full of hope. Shit, this wasn’t supposed to happen — not yet! He thought he had a few more years to think of a proper way to reject him, why was this idiot confessing so soon? They were still kids for Christ’s sake! 

To be honest, it was probably his fault. Mikey spent the last four years making sure Haruchiyo knew he was one of his best friends, that he never felt left behind or an outsider. He gave him a safe place to run to when his family situation was too much — because unfortunately there were things that not even time leaping could fix — and talked with Shinichiro about it, hoping his big brother could give Takeomi a deserved slap on his wrist. He even begged Haruchiyo to be one of the Toman founders! 

Okay, so apparently helping his friend to be more confident and have  better self-esteem had some unexpected consequences — like the fact he had no reason to hide his feelings. Well, technically the amount of homophobia in Japan was a pretty good reason, but since when did Haruchiyo give a shit about social conventions? 

“Mikey?”

A soft whisper brought him back from his thoughts. Fuck, he had to say something, he had to think of a way of rejecting him without breaking his heart — at least no more than was inevitable.

“Look, Haru… You know you’re one of my best friends, right? Nothing can change that —”

“You’re rejecting me.” There wasn’t any trace of accusation in his voice, just a sad resignation that squeezed Mikey’s heart. “It’s fine, I know you don’t love me back but it was worth trying it.” 

Ouch, here was that word again.

“You don’t love me, this is just a silly crush. C’mon, don’t be so dramatic.” 

He probably deserved the deadly glare Haruchiyo gave him. He was being an arse, treating his friend’s first love like it meant nothing. But it was just that, his first love, and sooner or later Haruchiyo will get over it — because this time his love wasn’t intertwined with trauma or twisted by grief. 

“You’ll get over it, okay? Before you know, we’ll be laughing about this, you’ll see.”

“You don’t know that.”

Damn it, why did he have to be so stubborn? Why couldn't he understand that he deserved so much better than Mikey? 

“You might be the prettiest boy in school, but you’re too damn pushy!” Mikey groaned with frustration. “I’m trying to save our friendship here, don’t you see it?”

Fuck, he went too far — he was aware of it even before seeing the pain that crossed Haruchiyo’s eyes.

“Haru… I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.” He tried to reach for him — to offer him one of those hugs that always seemed to bring him comfort — but the other boy moved away, biting his lower lip and avoiding to look at Mikey. He really fucked up bigly this time, didn’t he? He had to fix it somehow. 

“Okay, let’s make a deal.” Good, at least Haruchiyo was looking at him again. “If you still love me when we’re eighteen, ask me again. I promise I’ll take it seriously if you do it.”

“Deal!” The way Haruchiyo’s face lit up almost seemed like magic — completely mesmerizing.

Well, he made a weird face and lowered his voice saying the word ‘love’, but overall Mikey must have done a decent job. Or decent enough to have his friend jumping at him and accepting that wasted hug.

Mikey sighed with relief and didn’t hesitate in wrapping his arms around Haruchiyo’s middle. The warmth of his body felt nice and comfortable — of course it did, they were outside at the end of February. 

“...the prettiest…” 

He didn’t caught Haruchiyo’s whisper, but he forgot about it the moment the other boy started playing with his hair. Sue him for enjoying being pampered, alright? They were friends, friends were affectionate with each other. This was totally fine. 

Mikey groaned when his obnoxious alarm brought him back from dreamland. Why on Earth did he have to dream with this memory precisely today? Okay, probably because it was his eighteenth birthday — no, it was stupid and it didn’t make sense. No way Haruchiyo would still remember it, it was nothing more than a silly promise between kids that didn’t mean anything. 

It wasn’t like Mikey was secretly wishing for him to keep his word — not at all. He had no reason for it, no romantic feelings for Haruchiyo to justify his greedy desire. That was a lie, and he knew it. He loved Haruchiyo — obviously he did — but it was in another timeline, this was only the echo from back then. It had to be. 

Haruchiyo wasn’t the same person Mikey used to love — of course he wasn’t, he was free from all those traumatic memories, of having more than one timeline inside his brain. It was for the best, Mikey knew it.

That thing they had during Kanto Manji wasn’t healthy for anyone involved. Mikey was too selfish, too scared, unable to call it what it was. He had the guts to forbid Haruchiyo to say it too — always taking more and more, never asking why the other stayed just in case that would break the illusion. He should’ve asked — he should’ve cared more — instead of letting him carry all that pain alone. 

And Haruchiyo? He was the opposite. Always giving more and more, erasing parts of himself in order to fit into what he thought Mikey wanted from him — in order to be by his king's side. Sinking into darkness, little by little, twisting his own morals to be able to bear with his crimes. Haruchiyo could be sweet and caring in the morning — always attentive to Mikey’s needs — brushing his hair while whispering soothing words to calm him from the latest nightmare. Only to later bash his little sister's head with a metal pipe, attempt vehicular manslaughter and actually murder someone from the same gang. All for Mikey, always for Mikey. 

It was an objective fact that this was for the best.

He sighed and finally got out of bed, right on time to open the door of his room before his sister knocked on it. Her surprised face was totally worth it, but the way Emma hugged him and ruffled his hair was a thousand times better — another year he had all of his siblings by his side.

“Happy birthday sleepyhead.” She laughed freely, so beautifully alive. “Haruchiyo is already waiting for you.”

“Shit!” 

Mikey pulled away from the hug and rushed towards the kitchen. Damn it, why did he have to be so punctual? Not like he could get really mad, especially when he entered the room and saw Haruchiyo’s face lit up once he spotted him.

“Happy birthday, Mikey!” He was about to grumble for the loud tone, when he got gently pushed into the chair and was greeted by a fresh cup of coffee.

“...morning.” 

He took a long sip of his coffee, silently blessing Haruchiyo’s sixth sense to always know what he needed — that was one of the aspects in which he was the same. Mikey would be lying if he said he wasn’t glad, but at least this time he tried to also pay attention to his friend’s moods. He liked to think that he got to know him better, to read him better — even if he was fully aware part of the merit was due to Haruchiyo being more open in general.

For example, he could tell Haruchiyo was nervous by the way he kept fidgeting with his earrings. The mischievous glint in his eyes let Mikey know it was a good type of nerves — excitement probably. 

“Where is Baji?” He asked absentmindedly, taking a big bite of his pancakes.

“He said something about feeding stray cats or whatever.” 

It was a blatant lie, he could perfectly tell. They had the annual tradition that Haruchuyo and Baji were always the ones in charge of distracting Mikey during the day, while everyone else prepared his not-surprise birthday party. Maybe Baji was doing something related to it? Weird, but he knew his friend wouldn’t miss their day together without a good reason — so no need to overthink it.

In less than ten minutes, Mikey had gobbled down his breakfast — earning a judging face from Emma and an adorable chuckle from his friend. No, not adorable, what the fuck was wrong with him today? Luckily, he didn’t have the time to dwell on this thought before Haruchiyo dragged him towards their bikes. 

“Where?” He was sure Haruchiyo had something planned.

“The cove.”

“Haru, you hate the beach, you’re always complaining how you end up with sand everywhere and how it makes you too sweaty.” 

“That’s why we don’t go there for my birthday.” He deadpanned. “You love that place and I came prepared for the stupid sand, don’t worry.”

Mikey laughed at that — so that was why Haruchiyo brought a backpack. He should have known, his friend always thought ahead about those types of details. Another one of these things where Haruchiyo was the same, though he preferred when it was against the beach than rival gangs. It was still for Mikey, wasn’t it?

“Alright then.” He jumped on his babu and started the engine. “Don’t go too slow!”

The ride felt too short, even if it actually took them almost an hour to get there. It was worth it, the cove was almost empty — that was why Mikey loved this particular spot. Away from people, the sound of the waves lulled his mind while the salty smell of the sea breeze calmed his senses. 

“Thanks, you were right about coming here.” He smiled happily towards Haruchiyo — who was already placing a blanket on the sand and wearing a ridiculously big straw hat to protect his delicate skin from the sunrays. His cheeks shouldn’t look so flushed with that on his head, same way he shouldn’t look so pretty with it either. Shit, what was this feeling? 

“What else did you bring?” He asked, trying to distract himself from his totally platonic thoughts towards one of his best friends.

“Here.” Haruchiyo took out a couple of cans of soda and a tupperware full of…

“Taiyakis?” His eyes widened with surprise, opening the container as soon as he had it in his hands — they looked homemade. “Did you make them?”

“Obviously.” 

No, it wasn’t that obvious — or maybe it was considering who he was talking to. He took a bite almost with reverence, still bewildered by Haruchiyo’s gesture. 

“Damn, this tastes amazing!” He swallowed before talking again. “Are you sure you want to be a youtuber? You’d be a hell of a baker, Haru. Your sweets are always the best, I swear.”

“Nah, I only enjoy cooking when it’s for you.” 

Mikey could feel his cheeks burning at these words — he knew it wasn’t because of the sun. He liked the idea that it was only for him, that this side of Haruchiyo belonged only to him. He liked it too damn much, that was the whole problem. Why did Haruchiyo keep throwing these statements out so casually? Did he really not notice how it became more difficult for Mikey to pretend he wasn’t head over heels for him or what? 

Fuck.

He was about to start panicking when Haruchiyo talked with a smug tone, like he knew something Mikey didn’t. 

“You know… they’re filled with red bean jam!” 

“What did you just say?” 

No, it couldn’t be. It had to be a coincidence — even if it was the exact same words and it felt absurd to specify that about taiyakis. He almost dropped the sweet when Haruchiyo brushed away a lock of Mikey’s hair — no way the gesture was casual when it felt that intimate and tender. 

“Haru?” His voice sounded equally insecure and hopeful. 

“We’re both eighteen now.” Mikey nodded at that, staring at him like an idiot. “Do I really need to say it again or did you finally believe it?”

He blinked in disbelief a few times — barely resisting the urge to pinch his own cheek. No way Haruchiyo actually waited years without any guarantee that his feelings would ever be requited.

“Again.” He whispered. “Please.”

“I love you, Mikey. It’s not a silly crush and it didn’t go away for almost a decade, so can —?”

Mikey didn’t let him finish — there was no need, they both knew. As usual, he had been too scared to admit it even to himself. Also as usual, Haruchiyo had been too stubborn to give up on his feelings. 

So why should he waste another second before kissing those lips that he missed so fucking much? Judging by the way Haruchiyo wrapped his arms around him and brought him closer, the way his lips parted eagerly or that muffled moan he did within the kiss… He definitely agreed with Mikey. 

There was no more room for doubts — it was about damn time. 

[celestialsoyeon]

Hoshi centric

content: hoshi feeling down, depression, comfort

wc: 1,54k

Soonyoung was always the energetic one, the hyper one. All the members were used to the playful banter that he always initiated. In fact, they were so used to it, that seeing him silent or serious was nearly scary to him. 

So when he went back home, silent and his gaze quite lost, they all knew something was wrong with him. Seokmin tried to talk to him, but Soonyoung just said he was tired. A lie no one bought, of course. 

No one was dumb enough to believe that just being tired would prevent the Kwon Soonyoung himself to be his usual hyper self. They knew something else was at play, and both Seokmin and Seungkwan were more determined than ever to discover what was wrong with their best friend.

They did their best to get him to talk to them, or to let it out in some way, but Soonyoung just stayed silent, as if he couldn’t process anything, not even comfort from his friends right now.

Something was definitely wrong. And it was probably really serious. The more Soonyoung tried to hide it from them, the more they suspected things were really serious. It wasn’t like Soonyoung at all to hide anything from them. The others were used to see him fully honest with them, so him hiding anything from them was weird. Really weird. 

Seungkwan found himself unable to sleep at night. He had a bad feeling about all this. Something was going to happen, he could feel it. 

He went to Jihoon’s room, as he always did. He needed comfort from the small producer. He pushed the door open carefully, in case Jihoon would be asleep. This was practically a zero chance that Jihoon would be asleep right now.

And he wasn’t. He was in front of his computer, working on some songs. Seungkwan didn’t say anything, not wanting to trouble his hyung’s focus, and just sat down next to him, looking at what he was doing.

He had always wanted to learn from Jihoon, but would never dare to ask him for advice. He didn’t want him to think he wanted to take his spot as the group’s producer, but that was a part of the process he was interested in and was eager to learn about.

Staying with him tonight, looking at his production process, would probably soothe his mind a bit. Especially with Jihoon. He had a way with his words and with the all small things he was doing for the members that went straight to Seungkwan’s heart.

Everyone else knew Woozi, the successful producer, but he knew Lee Jihoon, the kind-hearted man who expressed himself through songs when he couldn’t find a way to tell about his feelings.

That was something about Jihoon that some silly people were hating on, but to Seungkwan, it was a touching and cute part of him. Jihoon was cold-looking, but so warm on the inside.. Seungkwan was grateful to have him.

Tonight, just looking at him produce some songs and magically turn them from mere notes and chords to real songs, ready to be sung on stage and delivered to the entire world, was the biggest comfort Seungkwan could’ve asked for.

Jihoon didn’t notice him, at first, too focused on working on his song. He was thinking about how some of the lines would suit Seungkwan’s voice particularly well when he finally noticed him sitting next to him.

He took his headphones off and turned to him.

“Kwan? What are you doing here? Is everything okay?”

“I can’t fall asleep hyung.. I’ve got a really bad feeling about Soonyoung..”

“Honestly I feel the same way.. Something is wrong with him, I know him enough to know that. But you don’t have to worry that much. We’re all here for him and we’ll protect him and stand by his side. Soonyoung is safe as long as we are here.”

Jihoon’s words reassured him, but worry for his Soonie lingered. He was scared at the mere idea that something no one knew about might be happening to him.

“What if it’s really serious and that’s why he didn’t say anything?”

“No matter what, we’ll stand by him. We’ll know the truth, one day or another. We won’t let him fight alone whatever came his way. But if he doesn’t want to tell us right away we have to respect that. He will tell us about what’s bothering him when he’s ready.”

Seungkwan nodded, resting his head on Jihoon’s shoulder. The older wasn’t the touchiest person ever, but he just let him do whatever he wanted. He always acted like he hated skinship, but coming from the other members, he didn’t dislike it that much.

Especially from Seungkwan. There was something about him that brought Jihoon strength and comfort in the hardest of times. Maybe seeing how strong and resilient he was was actually helping him being strong as well. And seeing him vulnerable like he was tonight came as a reminder that they were all human and didn’t need to always hide their feelings.

If there was a thing Jihoon particularly liked about Seungkwan, it was his honesty and his way of speaking with his heart. Never was he acting strong when he wanted to cry. He would just come to another member and cry on their shoulder until feeling better.

In the first years after their debut, Seungkwan would never dare to turn to Jihoon for comfort, he’d rather turn to the other two of the BooSeokSoon trio, or to Wonwoo, who always had comforting and reassuring words to give if need be.

But after losing his best friend, Moonbin, Seungkwan opened up more to Jihoon. He turned to him for comfort, knowing that despite him acting cold, Jihoon was actually more than willing to help him and take care of him.

He even wrote a song to give him comfort when he couldn’t find anything to tell him as he was venting.

When all this happened, he spent a lot more time with the members he was usually not that close to, he even spent a whole night sleeping in Jeonghan’s embrace. And he had to acknowledge how thankful he was to the members, which he did every time he could, whether it was just with them or publicly.

And he wanted to be a source of comfort for Soonyoung now. But what could he do if Soonyoung refused to talk to him?

As Jihoon told him, he couldn’t do much. All he could do was to make sure Soonyoung knew he was there for him until he opened up to him and told him what was wrong. He would make sure to do everything to make him feel loved and supported by the members.

And that would start by checking on him. After talking for a while with Jihoon, he let him work, not before asking him, as he had finally gathered the courage to do so, if he could show him more of his production process, and maybe, teach him how to create songs.

Jihoon immediately said yes. If Seungkwan wanted him to teach him how to create songs, he would. How could he say no if his brother wanted to know more about this?

Then Seungkwan let him work, which he actually was thankful for. The work he was putting in right now was for their next comeback, and was rather important.

 Seungkwan then went to Soonyoung’s room and laid on the bed with him, cuddling him like a plushie. Soonyoung didn’t really mind, he was used to Seungkwan being clingy to every member. Even Wonwoo had his share of cuddles with the small vocalist.

He knew his silence was weighing heavily on Seungkwan’s mind. But he couldn’t tell him he was falling back into depression, just like in their trainee days. He didn’t want him to take the role of the caretaker again. Seungkwan really didn’t need that, especially not with his own mental state that wasn’t always optimal. 

He didn’t need to have to play caretaker, really not. 

If he talked to someone about it, it would be to someone who would actually be able to help him. Maybe Jeonghan, or Junhui. They were always good listeners and would actually be able to make him feel better.

Seungkwan was making him feel better as well, he was his best friend after all. But he didn’t want to make him go through that again. 

So he didn’t say anything and let him cuddle him, reveling in the comfort the younger one brought with him.

Someday, he might open up to all the other members again. But for now, it was a battle he fought against himself, and it was a battle only he could ever win. 

No amount of help would do the trick if Soonyoung didn’t fight by himself as well, he knew that. So he would just tell the members he’s feeling under the weather, that he needs comfort and time to feel better. They didn’t need to know more than this. He didn’t need to say more for SEVENTEEN to reunite around him and take care of him like the family they always were.

[planet-crait]

I lied again. We’re back on episode 6 because I can finally watch it lolz.

Aww Hazel and Jasmine are having a sleepover. I can’t recall the last time I had a sleepover…. Probably was like middle school.

Regardless of my terrible social life they’re both being silly and adorable and I just love that. Then hanging around like bats is both cute and terrifying all at once. How does Jasmine out the cucumbers right on her eyeballs that would hurt. So much. Oh yeah I was right this is where most likely the new girl whose name I still don’t know yet probably joins the friend group.

This is another painful reminder though of the fact that Chester and AJ…never seemed to care all that much about Timmy. We don’t see them really hang out outside of school and sometimes it felt like they where only friends because they’re all social outcasts rather then actually getting along which is just really sad and definitely doesn’t remind me at all of my own childhood nope not one bit (do you believe me).

It is nice to see Hazel having friends that care about her and are involved in her life. It’s not only nice to see but can add some stakes to putting her at risk of accidentally revealing Cosmo and Wanda. I don’t know if that aspect will come into play but it could.

Wait wait Winn is non binary. I love that oh my gosh. I’m loving this rep we’re seeing in the show just so casually in it. Like no one seems to be misgendering them which is great (fuck did I misgender them my bad yall.) I do think kids should be allowed to explore their gender identity and have some wiggle room to see who they are and I love the show is allowing kids to do that.

Dev trying to one up Hazel’s sleep over is hilarious. Oh wait Jasmine what are you doing girl?? Hazel is your friend! Hazel uh don’t lie, that’s not going to win over friends. Besides I thought you didn’t care about being cool? You need to be honest. Also would people really think a hotel is fancier than a mansion?

Umm what about the other people who live in that complex won’t they…notice? I mean I guess Hazel realized her parents but what about everyone else? The chihuahua’s guarding the literal safe are hilarious but uh if her parents have to leave won’t they notice?

Speaking of notice wasn’t there an episode about Jasmine coming over to Hazels place? Or maybe they went over to Jasmines? I’m not sure. Oh nope she was how is Hazel going to explain this away? But see I mentioned earlier the friends being closer thing could cause some issues? I love the potential stress from Jasmine knowing Hazel is lying and she can’t come clean because she’ll lose Cosmo and Wanda. And potentially Jasmine since their friendship started because of a wish? Maybe? That side of it goes a little more into uncharted territory that’s for sure.

I am no architect but uh I don't think columns would ever have a supporting beam like that. I know its for Winn to stake off of but they could have done something else to make that work.

Also also was this just a conservative Christian parents thing or was it more common before for girls and boy to not be allowed at the same sleepover? Just genuinely curious for such young kids its weird to do that sure but I get the concerns as they get older.

Okay don’t judge me I’m doing research on skateboarding for uh a fic I’m working on and holy shit that kickflip is an insanely hard move to pull off while stationary like shit it’s not realistic but they’re an incredibly good skateboarder. Even Cosmo and Wanda are impressed.

Okay so I’ve worked in hotels I have a degree in hospitality and two employees does not a hotel make. Not even a cheap motel could run with two employees much less a five star hotel. I could go into a whole tangent about how hotels get their five star rating and it’s not reviews like a lot of people think it’s actually about service level and I won’t dive in too deep here but no. Two employees would not even come close to any sort of reasonable staffing levels which if Dev shows up I imagine he’ll know something is off fast. Also uh they went way to overboard on the chandeliers lolz.

Winn seems like a genuinely cool kid like they aren’t put off by Jasmine and Hazels excitement and genuinely is happy to answer questions and share about themselves. A question I don’t think anyone will ask except me, does Winn dye their hair or is it supposed to be naturally purple? I am very invested in this question.

Aww Hazel thanking Cosmo and Wanda is just adorable and I love their fist bump when she walks away. Huh I expected Dev to crash the sleepover but apparently not. Maybe it’s me knowing the depth he’ll be getting later on but I kind of almost feel bad for Dev right now. He’s a jerk currently but he’s also a kid of a rich family he’s got to have problems from that.

WHY IS HAZEL FLYING THE HELICOPTER? Girl what are you doing??!!!?? Cosmo and Wanda this isn’t proper Godparenting!!! And this is why you don’t out chandeliers in helicopters.

Okay I laughed when I saw the sign for uninhabited forest animals too sign. I just. I don’t know why I was about to ask “what about the inevitable damage crashing the helicopter will cause” and the show immediately went “nope it’s fine I know it’s implausible but it’s fine”.

I am starting to wonder how this wish will go “wrong” so to speak. Every episode so far it has and I have a few guesses but I’m not really sure what will be the thing that makes it all go wrong and how it will all resolve.

Aww they’re friends. Ahh the good old days when hanging out for like a couple days f hours made you immediate friends (toobadthosedisntlast) ehem. Oh huh I wonder if this news broadcast will cause the issue?

Ohh huh not any of my suspects most likely. Seems Hazel may let the game get to her head which is how this went for Timmy. I mean sure it makes sense but I did enjoy the show not retreading the exact same ground even if this is a good lesson to remember. I’m not at the end yet just reading the signs of what probably will happen.

Oh huh I may have been wrong again it may be less fame gets to her head and more the stress gets to her. Maybe I should stop trying to predict and just see what happens.

Ohh poor Winn and Jasmine trying to play board games and being blown off with over and over again. Oh I like Cosmo and Wanda calling out Hazel. I mean running a hotel is a lot of work but she’s a kid and she should be hanging out with her friends.

Wait did Cosmo and Wanda send them to SPACE WITH NO GEAR???? Oh they are dead. Vicious. (Whycoulsnttheydothattotimmysparents) ehem wow I have a bad cough today ignore that it’s over text. But see this is why you don’t only have two employees it’s way too much work. I guess it’s technically three people but that’s still not nearly enough people.

I’m glad they forgave Hazel pretty quickly. I am not a fan of when people demand groveling for forgiveness especially since she wasn’t like mean to them directly more got caught up in other things which while not great isn’t like as mean as what happened with Timmy. Though. Wouldn’t everyone notice the apartments changing from a hotel to a messy apartment? With the episode ending I feel like that’s gonna get yadda yadda’d past. Poor Hazels dad. He’s right but no one is listening to him. Why didn’t the emu vanish as well why did Cosmo have to toss it out? I have questions.

Yeah Dev sucks but oof getting chased by an animal is uh terrifying. Overall I think this is my new favorite episode so far. The writing flows better things that happen overall flow well and just works overall. I was way off base on how things would go wrong with this wish but that’s okay sometimes, they didn’t mislead or anything I was just wildly guessing lolz.

Onto episode uh 8? Oh jeez jumping out of order is getting so confusing lolz. Hopefully this is the last time I have to do that.

[thatskindarough]

Okay, here goes- for the GO ask game, 14, 23 and 39!

hello phoenixr0se!

14)-favorite background character:

I’ll give two answers, one being Muriel, although I’m not sure if they’re classified as a background character. I love them forever, truly, they’re the one character I beg to come back in s3

I also love any of the angel/demon background characters. Furfur specifically. Furfur and Mr. Brown from browns world of carpets. Best ship.

23) favorite quintisennsial Aziraphale moment:

Can I answer all of them? Probably the end of A Companion to Owls when he’s on the rock and asks “but what am I.” That scene actually almost made me cry, something the final 15 couldn’t even achieve. It’s just so powerful; and it’s a question that I think defines Aziraphale as a character. What am I. Just, wonderful. Also anything with newspaperman detective Aziraphale. him and his little hat, need I say more.

39) is there anything more to the final 15 than what we saw:

Oh dear this is a long one you really choose the yappiest question for me, so i’ll put a read more thing

To be honest, I don’t know. Can’t say. I think fans do a really good job speculating, it’s fun to read. I can say I would definitely prefer there not to be. I dislike the idea of waiting three years only to be told we didn’t see everything we needed to draw a conclusion.

Also, I’d prefer it if his motivations were more than “we’re in danger, I have to protect the demon!” You know? I mean I like it as a motivation, just not the only one. That it’s not just for himself in relation to Crowley and their future, but ALSO himself in relation to his own self worth and self image. The idea he still sees something in heaven worth saving, even though he knows it’s done awful things. What about his relationship and faith in God specifically? The fact he ultimately puts humanity above everything. His relationship with redemption and second chances and more importantly forgiveness. Forgiveness not from Crowley, but forgiveness to himself.

All great things I’d love to see explored in more depth that I feel like we’d miss out on if he was drugged, or he lied, or he was overtly threatened, because those theories rely on the fact that Aziraphale doesn’t have any sort of care for heaven and What It Should Be outside of the fact that it’s an abusive cult that controls literally everything so he can’t get away from it (which is true no matter what.) and although I would be fine with it if that’s what the show decided to do, I’d personally prefer there to be more. I like the idea that there’s truth to what Aziraphale told Crowley in the FF. And this isn’t based on any sort of analysis of evidence where I reach the best conclusion or whatever it’s just what i wanna watch. In depth character study of Aziraphale, please and thank you.

[ryuichirou]

Replies!

Today’s replies are mostly about our previous posts…

Anonymous asked:

Ryu??? Your last TreyRiddle fanart????? I've been starved of content of that ship and you deliver such delicious food??? Thank you so much!!! I bet Riddle is dying to bury his head between Trey's tiddies (who wouldn't??) Wonderful work!! Looking forward to see more of them in your style in the future ❤️❤️❤️

+

Anonymous asked:

Riddle has been getting a lot of extra attention as of late not that I'm complaining boy needs some love~

HEHEHE I’ve told you, you never know when the mood for certain ships is going to hit us~ We’ve been thinking about these two (…and about Trey and Riddle too! *very clever tiddies joke*) a lot this past week.

I’ve already mentioned it, but we’re rewatching the main story, slowly but surely. And it’s a great opportunity to get inspired to draw the boys that we haven’t touched in a while. And Riddle deserves all the love!!

I’m very happy you’re happy to see them, and also happy to deliver <3

Anonymous asked:

Floyd jelly Trey and chenya are pleasuring his man

To be honest, I don’t know if Floyd would be jelly. It’s one of many things in Floyd like that  which depend on his mood. Maybe he’d feel like something of his is getting stolen, but maybe he’ll just take it as a reason to tease Riddle more + an excuse to cling to him and harass him~

Anonymous asked:

I saw your Lilidia artwork and now all I can think of is how good Lilia would look in a thong.

Please don’t let Lilia find out about it, he’ll genuinely consider wearing it… it’s not cutesy enough for him probably, but his flat-ass butt deserves it lol

masked-cat asked:

Do you ship Azul/idia and Lilia/idia separately or does Azul run a rental service? Lol

If only… If only Azul knew how popular Idia’s going to be… IF ONLY!!! Missed business opportunity!!1 lol

In all honesty it depends; sometimes they coexist, because none of them actually date each other yet, so it’s just a mix of complicated feelings between all of them. Sometimes they coexist because Azul, while being extremely jealous, knows better than to challenge Lilia. Sometimes they don’t coexist lol

Oh, I actually have a reply on this topic!

Anonymous asked:

in Rookvil marriage, Epel probably only gets to be flower boy because Rook is decided to be Vil's right man

Oh Epel is going to be so pissed lol Sorry, Epel, we can’t trust you with anything other than throwing flowers.

Anonymous asked:

Vil treats Jack and Ortho better than Epel XD

Of course he does, Jack and Ortho are good boys ❤️

I really love how in Vil’s mind the first years are a young potato #1, a young potato #2, a tiny potato, aw these two good boys, and a fucking CUCUMBER.

Anonymous asked:

So Rook is gonna be involved in the Tweels and Azul's life now that Vil is part of Shroud and how Idia is part of them?

(this is related to this reply)

Now that’s a sitcom I would absolutely watch lol But I’m afraid everyone would just be freaked out by Rook. No one knows why he’s always here, but he just is, and even if he isn’t, you know he’s lurking around. Vil is used to it, Ortho doesn’t mind it, Idia is terrified but that’s nothing new, but the Tweels and Azul would probably be very uncomfortable lol

Anonymous asked:

If Jamil and Ruggie knows about Azul's jealously, they will likely mess with him by being boyfriends together in front of Azul making him more irritated.

(this is related to this reply)

Oh they don’t care about Azul that much (OHHHHH--)

But it would definitely be funny and also could be a nice punishment if Azul becomes too clingy lol The problem with Azul is that he won’t just tolerate it peacefully, so it’s a dangerous game to play with him…

Anonymous asked:

Rook must love that he gets to see both his stalkees at the same time whenever Neige is on the hunt for more Vil pics and stuff

(this is related to this reply)

Yeah, this is always Rook’s happiest time of the day… The whole situation is quite amusing, but the fact that it’s Roi du Neige who stalks Vil… Honestly it would probably overwhelm Rook, but in a good way (so bad for Vil lol).

[cha-faile]

This show!! oh my god this show....

Interviewer: “Were you a fan of the books, familiar with them? Did you have to do an intensive deep dive into them? You can be honest.” Ayla Ruby: “All 15 books.” Brian Shows (s02 vfx producer): “I read all of them 19 times. No, I was not involved with the books prior. Andy has more knowledge on that from the historic perspective. My part when I got into it was to watch season one just prior to starting, and then obviously we get into the scripts, and then we get into the video with the different professionals who really know the books. We were using them as resources right, it’s a great tool. But I wasn’t involved prior.” source

Interviewer: “Again, being in your position, you hear stories about like, oh, guys that like to hide Easter eggs or calls to certain things. Do you ever sneak any stuff in there for you?” Brian Shows: “He [Andy Scrase] does. But he really does pay attention to the books as much as we can. We definitely find things and we add things to it to give people and fans something to look for. So yeah, he definitely does. I’m not sure he’ll say exactly what he puts in but he definitely does.” Interviewer: “We’ll pry it out of him, it’s fine.” Brian Shows: “By all means. Good luck.” source

(interviewer) Ayla Ruby: “It’s funny you said Lanfear because there’s such a passion for that character with the fans. Did you guys anticipate that that people would be-” (executive producer) Marigo Kehoe: “Yes.” Ayla Ruby: “You knew?” Marigo Kehoe: “Yeah, yeah. Yeah. We knew. We knew. And Natasha’s just playing her so brilliantly. I hope you agree. I mean, I just think… And she’s having such a ball playing her, that the enthusiasm is… I just love the way she kind of… It’s kind of she… Which, again, we talked with visual effects earnestly about how she uses the One Power. And she’s so wonderfully dismissive and it’s great.” source

(s02 vfx supervisor) Andy Scrase: "“But I’m really, really lucky in the fact that there’s just so many different creative challenges in the show that it’s certainly not boring. It’s probably one of the most satisfying projects I’ve ever worked on.” source

Andy Scrase: “I knew of the books, I had not read the books. However, obviously, I’m working my way through the books. And I think the size and scope of Wheel of Time hit home with me almost instantaneously when I had the audiobook and saw that it ran for something like 26 hours or something like this. So I knew there was obviously going to be a lot of material there, and there certainly is. Robert Jordan goes into a lot of description and it’s a really interesting story to look at, this repeating of ages and things like the Age of Legends and stuff like this.” source

Interviewer: “You said you joined in season two, how does it feel to join a team that was already working together, and try to bring your own flare to something that was already being done? You had to maintain what was done season one, but also…” (vfx producer) Brian Shows: “Yeah, I think Andy will speak to that too, more in-depth, but it’s a very welcoming team and I think that starts with Rafe [Judkins], all the way down. It’s a very collaborative team, so I don’t think there was any issue stepping in and helping out when we got to the ground. So from Rafe, to the producers, to the cast, to all the department heads, it was very easy, easy to jump into. It’s probably the best project I’ve ever worked on, in that type of environment. It really is a good group of people, a quality group of people, which is not so common.” “Well, not just that, but industry-wise, when you have it from the top down where it’s just a really great environment, you just want to keep doing it. So that’s why we did season two and we’re actually doing season three too.” source

Brian Shows: “Honestly, I never actually looked at any feedback in 27 years. Just because typically there’s people who are going to love it and there’s people who are not going to like it. As long as you know that you put your best foot forward with the time and budget that you could possibly do, put out the best quality product, then to me that’s all that really matters. But this time I heard so much about the fans, I was intrigued. So I did watch and read, and I watched some of the shows, and I did read some of the Twitterverse out there, and most of it was pretty good with respect to our part. So it’s good.” Interviewer: “That has to be difficult hearing feedback from people who don’t quite understand what your job is.” Brian Shows: “Some of the feedback is fun because I like how the fans will go down these rabbit holes of, ‘This is what they meant by…’ And they zoom in and you see the smallest thing, and you’re like, ‘Well that had nothing to do with it. But I love the fact that you read into it that far, right, amazing.'” “And then they go through and then they take the blur off to see what was in the background. Like, ‘I saw those boots once before.’ You’re like, ‘Okay, you did.'” source

(so2 vfx supervisor) Andy Scrase: “[Channeling is] such an important and unique magic system to the show. And I had certain challenges where there was a certain look established for season one. And when I joined the show, that was kind of one of my first priorities was the channeling and what I could do to improve that. There’s a big expectation on it. There’s a lot of intricacies. We’re taking threads and weaving them and things like this. So I think that where I am with the channeling is kind of a very good starting point and everyone seems to have reacted quite positively with it, with this idea. Because as I’ve said, I’ve been very literal with the interpretation of threads of power, but the colors, bringing those in was a really important decision I felt because, it’s a way of describing the different elements that they use, especially in weaves.” “It’s very important to the fan base, as I found out from doing my early research, and then just talking about it to Rafe [Judkins], we came to the decision that we could do it. But I think we always needed to be a little bit careful that it didn’t become too overbearing and too saturated. And I think even in the books, it’s described as being tinged with color. So I think there isn’t anything I’d say that I haven’t done before, it’s in the books. But it’s more a case of working what we have now even closer towards how some things are described. And I think the channeling is one of those. I’m really excited about how we go on and develop that and bring more nuances to it and more levels of detail and subtlety. Yeah.” source

It's a good place to work. They read the books. They adjust what they put into the show based on book fan and show fan feedback. ahhhhhhh my heart

[secret-diary-of-an-fa]

Doctor Who: 73 Yards Review. Short Version: WHAT?

So, this review’s late because there’s not a lot to actually say about 73 Yards. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not a bad episode, per se, but it definitely had a certain filler-y quality to it. The Doctor steps on a witchy string thing and vanishes because of supernatural nonsense, leaving Ruby to deal with a creepy woman in black who’s always exactly 73 yards away from her: a sort of manifestation bound to her at a set distance. Other people can approach the woman, but if they speak to her, she tells them something and they run away in terror, after which point they refuse to even speak to Ruby again, meaning she can’t get any useful information on the spectre or entity or whatever-the-fuck-she-is. And, to be honest, it’s all pretty effective and spooky: a good premise for a horror story that works well for as long as its happening. The problem is that there’s very little substance under the hood.

Oh, there’s some chaff about a psychotic Prime Minister planning to start a nuclear war, which Ruby has to fix by positioning herself 73 yards from the fellow so her mysterious stalker will appear besides him and terrify him into resigning from office. I’m not even sure that counts as a spoiler because it just kinda happens and then the episode continues to putter along, following the course of Ruby’s life as she tries to live without the Doctor and with her creepy shadow. Almost as though none of it mattered even slightly.

At the end of the episode, we finally get an explanation for the woman in black. See, it turns out it was Ruby herself all along! That is to say, when Ruby’s an old woman and on her death bed, the entity touches her and she becomes the entity, sent back in time to the moment she first appeared- or rather, just a few seconds earlier- so she can fix the timeline and stop the Doctor stepping on the witchy thing. As explanations go, it’s very Who-ish: a riff on classic sci-fi tropes with a twist. But, er, it doesn’t seem to match with what we know about the Mysterious Woman (fuck it, I’m just going to start using capitals for the sake of clarity, even if they were, in no sense, earned). I mean, why would Ruby’s older self scare away everyone Ruby knows and loves, alienating her and preventing her from living her life with any kind of support network? Also, how? I mean, Ruby’s old as balls by the end of this decade-spanning episode, but she’s not an eldritch, Lovecraftian horror. Sure, she’s probably seen some shit, but she doesn’t know any deep, dark cosmic secrets that would send everyone around her running for the hills. She’s just a nice old lady whose come in stuck in time, Slaughterhouse 5-stylee. The explanation we’re ultimately given therefore feels like it’s for a completely different set of events to the ones we saw. I’d have been fine with the Mysterious Woman being left completely unexplained, like the thing in the David Tennant episode Midnight (in which the best we get is vague theories and reckons from the tormented characters), and I’d have been equally fine with a full, satisfying explanation. This ‘explanation that doesn’t make sense’ thing… yeah, I’m not pleased. It feels like an attempt to resolve the episode while deliberately laying down a mystery at the same time, but it’s a slapdash way of doing it; an ill-fated compromise between true unknowability and a real resolution. I wasn’t a fan.

Another minor complaint: what does this episode have against the Welsh? When Ruby first realises she’s being stalked by the Mysterious Woman, she flees to a little Welsh pub and the locals use it as a chance to mock her relentlessly. They act like their steeped in the supernatural and don’t know about banking apps (for some reason), and then accuse Ruby of racism when she takes them at face value and believes them. They refuse to take the fact she has a potentially dangerous stalker seriously and diminish the validity of her dread at every turn, offering no help whatsoever. Later, the evil Prime Minister is also from Wales. Er, what? Why is every Welsh person in this episode an irredeemable cunt? I’ve been to Wales. Broadly speaking, the people are pretty nice, if a natz more sarcastic than the UK average. I don’t get what 73 Yards’ damage is.

So yeah: that’s the episode. A spooky story undermined by its own explanation and inexplicable anti-Welsh racism. Go figure. On the plus side, the upcoming instalment promises a scathing critique of social media and giant slugs, so that ought to be good for a laugh.

EDIT: someone just replied to point out that Russel T. Davies is, himself, Welsh. For those of you who don't read the comments, I figured I'd add this edit-y bit. I mean, I don't know if it contextualises the show's weirdly hostile portrayal of Wales or just makes it more baffling, but it seems like important information for an unbiased reviewer to provide and an informed reader to have. So there ya go. RTD is Welsh and this episode, written by RTD, portrays the Welsh as unreasonable nutters. Make of that what you will.

[canyouhearthelight]

Nihilus Rex, Ch. 30: Meet the Andovers

Does this read like a fluffy chapter? Absolutely, especially after the previous chapter. However, this is absolutely essential to the plot, as we get to meet Nils' parents - more specifically his mother.

That being said, the side gag going on in this one may read like one of the sillier chapters of "The Miys", but I swear it was entirely @baelpenrose's doing.

Mama's hooked on Mary Kay

Brother's hooked on Mary Jane

And Daddy's hooked on Mary two doors down

Mary, Mary quite contrary

We get bored, so we get married

Just like dust, we settle in this town

On this broken merry go 'round

Kasey Musgraves, “Merry go round”

Lash

I fidgeted with my hair before inwardly cursing myself and forcing my hands to my side. “You promise your mother isn’t as bad as Dr. Andover?” I asked for what had to have been the thousandth time.  Nils meeting Mama and Baba had been spontaneous, something I had been delaying more for my sake than his.  But I knew almost nothing about his parents beyond the fact that their relationship was rough on a good day.

“My mother’s worst sin is that she’s a bit oblivious to how people without money tend to live - despite our church spanning pretty much every economic class in the city. She did, however, take your community’s part in the class action lawsuit against the city, or her firm did, and last I checked, they’re winning. She’s happy to see me putting myself out there again. You two will actually get along great.” I was still distracted from how my meeting with the Parsons had gone. “Oh, and uh. Quick note. My father wasn’t…happy at all with our little stunt with the media originally, but now he’s had time to think about it and he loves you. And the fact that we’re dating. Like actually. Just not for the reasons you’d want him to.” 

So, the rich lady is the nice kind, and the holier-than-thou doctor liked me.  I couldn’t actually figure out which was worse, but all in all they could hate me for a plethora of reasons, so I was taking what I could get. “And we’re having dinner with them? Please tell me it’s something I’m going to recognize.”

“Anything you grew up eating, they wouldn’t recognize. And to be so honest, if I grew up eating it, it’s probably too flavorless for your culture to grant it status as “food,” regardless of official classification. Things you and I have eaten together - actually remember that ritzy Mediterranean fusion place with the Ethiopian and Turkish sections on the menu as well as the southern European countries? The one I took you to a few months ago? That’s where we’re going.” Nils’ voice had shifted all at once from apologetic to confident, as though he knew that at least that, I’d actually like.

My mouth did start watering a bit. “The place with the bad spanakopita and the amazing dolmades?”

“Because where better to take a girl to meet your parents than the sight of your first date. That one. Yes.” He answered with a cocky grin. 

“I can face almost anything as long as I can eat,” I nodded, feeling more confident as I teased as our Uber slowed to a stop. “I’ll even use a fork, just for them.”

“Ah, yes, the table manners of the lower classes, a thing that has been of concern more recently than the long 19th century, that is definitely. What I was concerned about.” He offered me his arm. “Shall we?” 

I took the arm, and brushed my hair over my shoulder one last time. “Let’s…. I hate to say get this over with, but our history of meeting each other’s parents isn’t the best. And that’s considering that my family liked you before you were a hero.”

“My meeting with your parents was going perfectly well before an unpredictable event caused by outside factors with whom we have settled accounts.” Nils spoke in a sarcastic, almost parodical voice that would have been funny if applied to anything else. “No, though. You’re right. If it makes you feel any better, we’re the only terrorists at tonights’ venue. No, uh…my parents like you. My mom for good reasons, my dad for bad ones. Not anything creepy,” he said quickly, “More…deeply self-serving.” 

I tugged his arm.  “Okay, let’s go before I chicken out and make up a cold or something.”

“Oh, I never even considered ‘feign sudden illness’ when your parents were about to show up.” Nils led me into the restaurant, and when we made our entrance at a restaurant for wealthy people, fairly dressed up, we turned heads walking in. He whispered, “Take bets - do we look good, or are we just getting looks for being local heroes?”  He spotted his parents table and led me towards it, pulling out a chair for me and seating me before taking his own seat. 

His mother looked at me, and gave me a reassuring smile. 

“So,” Nils said, almost breathless. “Mom, Father, this is my girlfriend, Lash Botelho. I’m glad you’re finally meeting her formally. Lash, this is Dr. Michael Andover, you met him at the hospital, and this is Katherine Andover, attorney-at-law. Lash is a student of business and computer science, with a minor in graphic design - and she’s an excellent artist on a personal level. We’ve done a bunch of projects together.”

“So you guys met through school,” his mother seemed interested. “And Lash - business, computer science, and graphic design? That’s quite a lot. Heavy course load. I thought Nils was putting on a lot when he was doing computer science, political science, and history at the same time, but if I remember right your course load is even heavier.”

“It helps that I already do a lot of work with nonprofits,” I admitted. “So the computer science and graphic design were areas I already had a solid foundation in.  The business courses are the ones where I’m learning the most new information.”

“Nils says the same thing about poli-sci and computer science - lot of activist work. Doesn’t make it less impressive that you can balance all that with working outside school as well.” She said, quietly. 

Nils’ father broke into the conversation. “You work with nonprofits,” he said, suddenly much more interested. “Which ones?” 

Nils’ eyes got sharp. “Mostly ones that help poor people access resources they need.” 

I saw an opportunity and leapt in with both feet. “Right now, I do a lot with clean water initiatives, to help minimize exposure to insect- and waterborne illnesses. West Nile, Zika, even e.coli.  Things that are easy to prevent but devastating if you can’t afford treatment.”

I saw wheels turning in his father’s head. “Any particular foundations I should look at? Nils is always vetting my charity donations for me, and that sounds like a worthy one.” 

“I actually just took on a contract for one that has developed a straw that filters any water that is fifty-percent or less contaminants into potable water, without a need to boil it.  I’ll find the name and have him pass it on to you.  The proof of concept is just incredible.”

He grunted, with a tone that sounded like he was impressed against his will, and Nils looked back and forth between us, clearly nervous.

Mrs. Andover was back to talking to me. “So, what do you two work on together?”

Nils glanced at his parents. “Guys, you know, this is a lot less… ‘parents meeting my girlfriend’ than I thought it was going to be. Honestly you’re talking like you’re deciding whether or not to invest in a startup.” 

Mrs. Andover started laughing. “Well, Nils, honestly, you tell us basically nothing about this girl. All I know about her is that she’s beautiful, she’s clearly won you over, you two work together, she’s clearly brilliant based on what she’s studying and keeping up with, and now that she does work with some pretty impressive nonprofits. I’m trying to get to know her, and I figure asking about work is less likely to be too invasive.” 

Dr. Andover shrugged. “We also know her father works at the hospital. And that both her parents got hurt in the…”

Mrs. Andover glowered at him. “Wait, both of them? You didn’t…Nils, you didn’t tell me both her parents were hurt, and I suppose my husband couldn’t have for HIPPA reasons. Lash, how are your parents doing? I’m so sorry, I should have led with that.”

Grateful for something a little less formal, I relaxed. “Baba - my father - is home and doing much better than expected.  He lost his leg, but is very determined to learn to use the prosthesis.  His physical therapist actually threatened to take it away because he rubbed blisters from pushing himself too hard.” I gave a small laugh. “It’s good to see, though.  And Mama came home two days ago… she is still on breathing treatments, but off of twenty-four-seven oxygen - she had smoke inhalation damage.  She was very upset she still cannot shout at Baba when he is being stubborn, but my sister found an airhorn from somewhere and no one has had peace since.”  I stopped for a drink of water and noticed all eyes on me. My face flushed and I covered my mouth. “Oh my gosh, I was rambling, I’m so sorry.”

Nils grabbed my hand. “Don’t apologize, I love you.” He blinked. “When you talk about your family, I mean.”  

Mrs. Andover was watching us, oblivious to me trying to process that Nils had just said that, and she started chuckling, abruptly. “I can’t say airhorn is the method I’d have gone with, but…it’s good to know that men are stubborn like that across race, culture, creed, or birth.” Her voice took on the slight timbre of an old poem near the end.

Nils blinked. “Did. Did you just quote Rudyard Kipling at my Indian-American girlfriend?” 

“Pakistani-Indian,” I corrected absently. “And yes, but it’s still very true.  You’re just as stubborn as Baba, you just had more appropriate clothing on.”

His mother blushed, his father didn’t seem to recognize why what his wife had done might have been a faux pas, and I forged ahead to keep things from going south as Dr. Andover changed the subject. “Have either of you eaten here before? It’s a bit upscale from the places Nils prefers, normally.” 

Nils glowered. “I took her here for the first date.” 

Mrs. Andover smiled. “Oh, very nice.” The waiter came by and took our orders, refilling the glasses with water. “This place is really spicy, especially the Ethiopian side of the menu.”

Then his father asked a question, and Nils glared at him with absolute loathing. “So, Lash, you and Nils made quite the effective television appearance. You’re already doing a lot in public service, do you have any designs in a career there?”

Nils squeezed my knee under the table, but this was the one question I had been bracing myself for, thankfully. “Well, my goal is to set up a business that focuses on boosting the visibility of nonprofits, while contributing a significant portion of our revenue into areas where it can create the biggest impact: schools, literacy programs, health education, things like that.  Try to shore up the foundations where normal budgets may not be able to.”  And here’s hoping Nils doesn’t die trying not to laugh at that answer.

“Hm.” Mrs. Andover glowered at her husband as he continued, this was clearly an argument they’d had before, “And those are all worthy goals, but going directly into politics with your education and Nils’, together, you could directly impact all of those, and their budgets, far more direct power with what you can do, if you’re willing to get into the system together and change it.”

I shook my head firmly. “I understand where you are coming from, Dr. Andover, but I’m sure it surprises nobody here that I very much disagree.  Public office is far more restrictive than independent enterprise, foremost - I would have to balance special interests with what would be considered ‘pet projects’, whereas through my own business I can connect the charities with who needs them the most, while ensuring the charities are as visible as possible to maximize their operating budgets.  And besides, Nils doesn’t strike me as someone who would thrive in public office.” I turned to him and visibly squeezed his hand. “No offense.”

“None taken. My father has rarely, if ever, liked the idea of me going into policy rather than running for office, despite the fact that policy experts maintain far more freedom to operate in personal lives while having more influence than politicians - just much less prestige. Honestly I don’t know what led people to believe I’d be good at public office. I gave one very smooth speech on TV.” He took on that slightly mocking tone that I abruptly realized must have been from a lifetime of practice. “Which, to be fair, does seem like the majority of what voters expect. And Father - never try to push my girlfriend into your side of this argument again. I know the only reason you tried to do this is because you thought she’d help me with demographics I’d otherwise struggle with - nice code for ‘people of color that white boy extraordinaire Nils Andover can’t exactly relate to’ by the way.”

I let the silence that followed hang for a moment while the waiter set down our food, before giving Mrs. Andover an openly curious look. “Don’t worry, babe.  I am sure your mother strongly agrees.”  When she looked surprised, I casually gestured with my water. “After all, Mrs. Andover, you’re a non-name partner in a law firm prestigious enough to represent a class action lawsuit against not just the city, but the police, and yet I’ve never seen you run for office.  Surely with that kind of acumen, you would be a shoo-in for the public defender’s office, or the DA.  All the way up to Attorney General, easily.”  Nils looked at me in confusion, and I murmured “You seriously thought I wasn’t going to look up the law firm that is representing my community? She’s partner, Nils.”

“I’m aware how she ranks in her firm,” he murmured back, “I guess I didn’t put that together, good eye.” 

Mrs. Andover chuckled. “Oh, I like the two of you together. Good eye, Lash. People should stay where they think they can make the strongest impact in what they’re passionate about - if you don’t think that’s office, don’t run for office. Oh, and Lash, offhand - I can’t say why, but your community ought to start taking notes about any and all interactions with the police from here on out.” 

Nils smirked. “That means they’re going to be unhappy with the results of the lawsuit.”

Mrs. Andover flicked a wrist. “No, just that her and her community ought to be taking notes and keeping documentation. Any further statements cannot be made at this time.”

“Mama is a secretary,” I assured them. “Taking notes is a compulsion for her, and letting her know will give her something to do other than honk at us.”

“I’m glad. Let her know I’d be happy to speak to her directly as well.” She slipped me a card. 

Nils took a bite of his food, simply enjoying the blend of spices - and then turned to watch his father take a gulp of water. I had been training him to increase his tolerance, and almost certainly to flex he’d ordered one of the spiciest things on the menu. 

Granted, even my tolerance wasn’t that high, so he was almost certainly just hiding the pain to fuck with his parents. I just grinned and scooped up a bite of stew. “I don’t know exactly what they add to the okra stew to make it so good, but it is certainly in my top ten favorite dishes.  Mrs. Andover?” I had noticed she’d ordered the same - a very mild but extremely flavorful stew.

“Oh, it’s excellent. One of the reasons I love coming here. I’m glad Nils took you here for the first date. Means some of what I taught him stuck.” 

Nils blushed. “I mean…good food, good company?” He was dutifully eating his food, but I could hear him struggling not to choke, shifting between pleasure and agony with each bite.

His mother gave him a flat look. “Make a girl feel special, take her somewhere nice with a bunch of really good options.” 

Finally, I had mercy on both my boyfriend and his profoundly rude father and waved down our server. “I am really craving spiced buttermilk… any chance we can get four glasses of it?  I don’t mind paying extra if it has to be made special. I didn’t see it on the menu.”

“Absolutely not. We invited you,” to my surprise, Nils’ father spoke first. “We’ll cover. But yes, spiced buttermilk would be good.” 

In much less time than I expected, the server had returned with four glasses of thick, bright orange drink.  No sooner had he walked away than I took a long sip of mine, rolling my eyes in exaggerated pleasure. “Buttermilk with turmeric, ginger, saffron, cinnamon, and a chai infusion.  It compliments the food so well.”

Nils took a slow sip, clearly restraining himself from chugging, and took a breath. “It is excellent. Thank you for the suggestion.” He took another bite of the chicken, tasting the spice, the flavor, the heat, and then a slow sip of the milk. I could see a slight bead of sweat tracing down the side of his face, and wondered, briefly, about my boyfriend’s pain tolerance. And why he was doing this. 

Mrs. Andover took a sip of her own, eyes widening. “Oh, this is lovely!” She pushed the last glass closer to her husband. “It’s… The closest I can describe it is it’s like a glass of melted orange sherbet. You should try it.”

After the first sip, every ounce of Dr. Andover’s composure collapsed as he inhaled half the glass.  The facade was immediately put back in place however, as he sat up straight and set the glass down gently. “I agree, it’s quite the compliment to the food.  I may indulge in a second, but we shall see.”

Nils took another bite of the berber-slathered chicken, smiling at the taste, and took a sip of the milk before the wave of heat hit him - he seemed to have gotten the timing down, since the facade no longer looked quite so forced. “Excellent suggestion, Lash. Would anyone like to try each other’s dishes?”

Mrs. Andover blinked, but smiled. “Oh, does Lash’s family do that, too? I know the Parsons do, and since Lash and I ordered the same thing…Here, Lash, you can have some of my side if I can have some of yours.” 

I grinned, nodding. ��My family eats communal meals, usually, so we all share, yes. But… I didn’t get to try the rosti last time and will gladly swap you for some of my dolmades - they’re not spicy, but very pickled.”

She smiled, and put some of the rostis on my plate and took some of my dolmades. I wisely turned down some of what Nils had ordered, and sensing my trepidation, so did his mother - though we both took some of his side, and gave him a bit of ours. His father blindly lunged ahead, clearly thinking the idea of swapping was ridiculous but not wanting to annoy his wife, and took a bit of Nils’ chicken, and Nils took a bit of the goat from his father, eating it with a smile. 

I could feel the malevolence in Nils smile as his father bit into the berber-slathered chicken and rapidly gulped the milk, all trace of composure gone. “How…how were you keeping your calm through eating that the whole meal?” He managed to get out between gasps.

“I’m dating an Indian-Pakistani girl. She’s been training my spice tolerance.” Nils’ voice was casual. 

Mrs. Andover seemed to be ignoring her son and husband’s antics, instead calmly gesturing with a spoon at her spouse’s meal. “How spicy is that?”  When I glanced at the men, she shook her head. “They’ve always been like that, it’s best not to engage.”

I glanced again, before staring at the goat and trying to remember what had been ordered.  Slowly, I answered. “It isn’t very spicy - I think it’s a bit bland, to be honest - but because it’s so fatty, the spice stays around and builds.  You’re supposed to eat it with a bread or some other carb, to help.”

Without asking, she scooped a chunk of goat onto each of our plates. “Okay, show me. I love trying new things.”

Hesitantly, I tore a piece of bread off, and proceeded to use it to pick a chunk of goat off the bone, sheer habit causing me to use my fingers. The piece came away cleanly, and I shoved the entire bundle in my mouth before realizing what I had done.

To my abject horror, I looked up to see Mrs. Andover - coiffed, coutured, rich Mrs. Andover - with her fingers in her mouth and a look of delight on her face. She chewed quickly and swallowed before I could apologize for my manners. “Oh, that is so nice!  And much easier than using a fork, no wonder he was struggling so much!”

“Ma’am, I am so sorry - “  I covered my mouth as she tore off another piece of bread and attacked the goat with gusto.

“I asked how it was meant to be eaten, Lash.” She gestured at herself, particularly her face. “Do I look like the kind of woman accustomed to eating spicy food properly?” When I was forced to shake my head, half surprised she’d asked like that, she added. “For God’s sake, Lash, do you think for an instant Nils got his sense of humor from his father?”

I glanced at Dr. Andover - still playing spicy-food chicken with his son and losing decisively - before shaking my head. “I just - Eating with fingers is not an American thing,” I finished lamely.

“As Nils will explain to you or indeed anyone at length - and has explained to me, and his father - that is very much an old world prohibition imported from upper-class Europeans, and lower-class Americans only developed issues with it when the average American became wealthy enough to have easy access to silverware. He will remind everyone who even tangentially brings this up how recent that is.” She gave a faint smile. “I wasn’t born wealthy, you know. I’m from the generation of Americans where one could work their way through college provided one started out merely middle class.” 

“ ‘Merely’,” I mused. “And trust me that I am the last person Nils will need to lecture about silverware.  He’s seen Baba eat palak paneer with his fingers and an extreme amount of dignity.” I paused and made a confused face. “I am still not sure how he keeps it out of his moustache, I’ll be honest. And it’s quite a moustache. He’s very proud of it.”

She chuckled. “Fair enough. I suppose I should have said, ‘I’m not judging’. My husband came from money, I did not. I think you and Nils are great together, by the way. I love the way you talk to each other.” 

“We do argue, sometimes,” I confessed. “But usually it’s cultural, and we find our way through pretty quickly.  My parents adore him, so there’s that.  Mori - my sister - tolerates him well enough, which is practically a glowing approval from her.”

“A young man like Nils should have a partner he argues with. If there’s no arguments with a personality like that, it means either one of you is totally bulling over the other by force of will, or both of you are taking turns manipulating the other. Working through arguments when they come up is a much better sign.” She shrugged. “I’m glad your parents like him. I like you - and as to my husband…you impressed him and he respects you and your family. That will, in the long run, be better than him just “liking” you.” 

I caught Nils stabbing another chunk of hallucigenically spicy chicken, and snatched his plate and fork away with the same hand. “I am not going to coddle you later when that is just as spicy as it was going in,” I warned him calmly.  “Rice, sherbet, and buttermilk.”

Nils nodded. “Got it babe.”

Mrs. Andover pulled the dregs of the goat away from her spouse, pointing at me and Nils. “Same thing. Rice, sherbert, dairy. Lash is a lovely and clever girl, stop antagonizing our son, insert lecture here.”  With that, she rested her chin elegantly on her intertwined fingers, winking at me. “I think you and I are going to get along great.  You have my number, let’s set up a ladies’ day - invite your mother and sister.  I’ll treat if your family chooses the restaurant.”

One and a half out of two was a win in my books. “I’ll talk to them about it, see if we can schedule it before Mori heads back home.”

[vettelsvee]

i may sound insane rn it you have no idea how much your account has been my safe space lately😭

really, after my first real broken heart (i am probably being over dramatic here we weren’t anything bc of me) i’ve been super upset about life/annoyed at myself, and reading you has been really good for me so thanks for that x

(btw it’s kinda not worth it cry over someone just because he’s sunshine and you’re *the* midnight rain. 0/10 the experience, would not recommend)

i read this a few hours ago and, to be honest, i had to process it as i had a good cry before going to university. i’m lowkey happy with this compliment (as i’m taking it as one) because it’s definitely my biggest goals in here: making you feel something and disconnect from your life; making this a comfort zone for all of you the best way possible. most of my works have been written over the grieving process of my 3 years relationship breakup and really, it still hurts sometimes as i didn’t have a proper closure with my ex partner, but the fact that i have writing and my stories there is making me feel much better, so this really means so much to me 💖 (i could basically do a whole essay about how certain things on my fics are based real life experiences i’ve had but that’s not the point)

and, if you wanna take some advice from me, even it might not be a good one: just take time to heal. it doesn’t matter if your heart was broken even if that relationship never really got to be one. your emotions are totally valid and it’s ok you feel that way. you might be mourning a relationship you never got to experience because of your decision, but remember that we’re all here to learn about life and that there are no mistakes or regrets, just life lessons we learn all over the way. also, i truly believe in destiny and if it you didn’t end up being something, let it go because there was a reason that didn’t happen, trust me.

if you need anything else don’t forget that you don’t bother me really. we all have been heartbroken in one way or another, sadly, so we all understand how you must be feeling.

take care and, once again, thank you so much for you message <3