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zahlibeth · 2 years ago
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hi?
hello! I'm zahli, welcome to my cave. currently on the walls is: 911 buddie AND bucktommy (drama left at the door please i am not dealing with this), an increasing obsession with Garrett Leigh's Rebel Kings MC series, and excited vibrations about the whole Trailhead series by @landrybrennan (go read Margins! and then take a deep breath ready for TIO), but you'll find other nonsense too. i will not apologise for occasional Destiel posting.
currently: #in my knitting era
Tags
i try to be somewhat organised but i promise nothing
fandom tags all look like this: #in my 911 era , #in my rebel kings mc era and are pretty much the only tags i religiously use
#911 spoilers for stuff released ahead of episodes, episode tags e.g. #911 6x08 for a few days after an episode airs, but then I get pretty lazy about it. not a spoiler free zone, but not not a spoiler free zone, y'know?
recs are all #fic rec and then pairing and fandom and length tags - you can throw them in the search bar or shove them in the url like this: https://zahlibeth.tumblr.com/search/rec+buddie+length: 0 to 7k
queue tags are #and breathe for relaxing stuff (ymmv!), #animals are delightful and #people are delightful. sometimes I tag this shit outside of queue hours too you're not my mum
#ah for when I have been viciously Seen by something
also yes i talk obsessively in the tags i Do Not Trust people who reblog only i want to know all your little thoughts!!!
u may have three facts about me: she/her is close enough, mid-30s, british
everything else you're gonna have to go spelunking for
ilu
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emubop · 6 years ago
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An update, pt. 2
As promised, an update on where I’m at in my life, for those of you who check these things (and also for my own reference, since this tumblr is kinda like a journal at this point). Long post ahoy!
- I’ve been struggling with school, and what I wanna do, and where I’m going in life, for the past several months. I’d previously thought I wanted to get a bachelor’s degree and be an English major, but that motivation disappeared one day and never came back. I kept trying to think of what I’d wanna major in instead, but nothing really sounded right. And I started realizing that while I like the “sitting in class and learning” aspect of school, the rest just... isn’t working for me. But because I’ve had this image in my head for so long of going to college and being successful in that way, it was hard for me to let go.
- I did poorly this past semester. It’s not the first semester I’ve done poorly, not by a long shot. After each time, I’d think “okay, next one will be different.” And maybe one or two were different. But the same struggle always came back. I’m certain that I could push through it and get a degree, if I really wanted to, but I’m so tired of being a square peg trying to shove myself into a round hole. It doesn’t feel worth it to struggle so much for something I may not truly want.
- What do I want to do with my life, then? Fuck if I know! But I do know that I don’t want a four-year degree right now. Maybe someday, sure, but not now. Right now I feel burned out on school, and I want to just go work and live for a bit.
- The issue, as I’m sure many of you know, is that minimum wage in the US isn’t a livable wage. Even in my state, which is slowly raising the minimum wage. But it’s hard to find a job above that without some kind of degree or other.
- So I’m gonna be going to trade school. To learn what? Not sure yet! I’m still exploring and deciding. But the chance to learn an immediately applicable skill is one I’m much more eager for than I am for traditional schooling.
- I’m lucky, in that I have two good parents who love me very much and are willing to support me through this transition. Fuck, they’re the ones who helped me realize that I needed this transition, since I’m the ruler of denial lmao. I haven’t been healthy or happy the past few months, and they gave me the push I needed to see it.
- As part of picking myself up again, I’m moving back home. My parents helped me pay for the place I’m currently staying, but that was contingent on me being in school, which isn’t on the table anymore (and I’m not enrolled in trade school yet, so it’ll be a few months before I’m taking classes again). I’m not really thrilled about this, which is part of why I was in denial for so long - I knew I’d have to move back if I wasn’t doing well, and I didn’t want to move back. I still don’t. But I’ve come to terms with it, and both my parents and I agree that this is temporary. They want to see me be independent and thrive just as much as I do. And hey, this means I get to see my dog more often! Bonus!
- So that’s gonna be the next few months of my life: checking out trade school, improving my health, and getting to a better place mentally.
- At some point I would also like to come out to my parents, because I know they’d be fine with it, but I wanna wait until things calm down a bit. My mom would still love and support me, of course, but it would be an adjustment for her, and she’s going through a lot right now. I’m okay with waiting if it means it’ll be a better experience for all of us.
- I’ve also been thinking a lot about religion recently, which isn’t really a new thing - I’ve been questioning my religion on and off for the past several years. Trying to figure out what I believe in. Waffling between “meh” and Christianity and back again, none of it feeling right. It’s been a deeply personal journey, so I haven’t really shared it before, and it will likely continue that way. But I finally hit something that genuinely feels like it works for me, and I’m excited about it, so here - I’m pagan! Very solitary, very eclectic, and very happy.
- Like I said, that probably won’t change anything for this blog, but I had to share it somewhere, because I’m really excited to start this journey.
- All in all, I’ve had some downs during the past few months, and it took me a while to get rid of this ideal that I had for what my early 20s would look like. That ideal wasn’t realistic, and I knew that. I just had it for so long that it was hard to let go of. Letting go is a process, one I’m still working on, but I’ve let go enough to be able to accept a new path for myself - one that feels a lot better to me than what I was previously on.
- So anyway, here’s to 20bi-teen! Let’s keep moving forward!
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rkived · 4 years ago
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year 22 (m) — jjk
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‘‘I knew you’d be standing in my front porch light, and I knew you’d come back to me.’‘ 
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Pairing: childhoodfriend!jk x f!reader 
Genre/Tags: angst!!!, drama, a lil fluff, f2l, e2l-ish, pining, slow burn, smut
Rating: M +18
WC: 11.5k
Warnings: time jumps, underage drinking, jk being a douchebag for most of the fic, reader can’t catch a mf break, mention of character death ((no major one tho)). smut in the form of oral (f. receiving), fingering, nipple play, unprotected sex ((wrap it b4 u tap it y’all)), my being called pretty kink making a brief appearance soz
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A/N: i listened to cardigan for the first time n had it on replay the whole time i wrote this so ig u should do it too ! this is my first time posting smut on here but who would i be if i didn’t throw in some good angst ? also tysm to @periminkle​ for being my unofficial beta reader n checking it up for me, she knows i’m constantly looking for her validation n i def wouldn’t post this if she didn’t love it ilu vira thx for being the best ever mwah !!! 
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You’re five, cowering behind his mother’s legs, sniffing as tears stream down your face. In front of you both stands Jungkook, there’s remorse written all over his face as his mother stares him down with hands on her hips and a look that just screams that this is only the beginning of his punishment. 
‘’Apologize to Y/N right now Jungkook, or I’ll have your father have a word with you,’’ she threatens with a stern tone, making her son quickly shake his head no. ‘‘You need to learn how to share your toys.’’ 
You peek behind her lanky leg and find the slightly older kid looking at you with narrowed eyes, ‘‘I’m sorry, Y/N.’’ He apologizes with a bow, but he’s obviously displeased with the whole ordeal. 
His mother sighs and Jungkook pouts at the look on her face. She urges you to come out from your not-so-secret hiding spot and to go back to playing with him, even though you seriously doubt that will do any good to what just happened. 
Jungkook’s bedroom door is kept open as he sits back down on his city patterned carpet, you twiddle with your thumbs and stare at the Spiderman poster on his wall. There’s an awkward silence between you two until you feel a toy bump your crisscrossed legs. 
It’s the shiny red car he had refused to lend you before, provoking an argument between you two which eventually made you run out of his room in tears as you ratted him out to his mom. 
‘‘Wooow,’’ you whisper in awe, taking the car in your hands with so much care, treating it like it’s one of your newest dolls. 
Jungkook huffs, crossing his arms as he looks at you with distaste and he’s forced to settle with other boring toys as you giggle to yourself, making the car follow the carpet’s tracks. He learns then to never trust his mother again. If she ever says she’ll bring a new friend for him to play with again, he’ll refuse wholeheartedly.
He doesn’t like sharing his toys, and it’ll probably take him a long time to learn how to.
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You’re nine as you hand Jungkook one of the multiple Valentine’s Day cards you carefully crafted the night before with your mother, adding all kinds of pretty stickers and shiny glitter to make each one of them unique. His is different from the rest, though. 
You added hearts to the dots in the I’s, there’s a hint of your favorite body splash enveloping the pink construction paper and it fills Jungkook’s nostrils with so much force that he feels he could gag at the smell. 
‘‘What do you think?’’ You ask the fourth-grader with a big smile on your face, cheeks tinted with a light shade of red as you see him reading the little message you wrote inside the card.
Jungkook lets out a mocking chuckle, ‘‘Are you serious? You like me?’’ He asks you, but it doesn’t look like he’s looking for answers. Your smile slowly fades away, looking at him with glossy eyes, ‘‘I don’t like you, you’re just a dumb little girl.’’ 
His card was the one you had invested the most time in and yet it only took him a second to crumple it with his hand, and another five for him to toss it into the trash can near you before he goes back to his group of friends in the school’s playground.
You learn how to hold your tears in then, thinking it’s a great accomplishment and that maybe now he’ll stop calling you a crybaby.
His friends receive him with high-fives and he smiles with gratefulness because they just saw how much of a badass he can be. Once recess is over and everyone’s going back to their classrooms, Jungkook nears the garbage bin where he had thrown the Valentine's card in, but finds it’s now dirty with yogurt someone tossed inside. 
He grimaces at the sight and sighs, there’s no way he can save it now.
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You’re twelve and you’re the only girl in the treehouse who hasn’t gone through puberty yet. It wasn’t something that bothered you until just recently, when it became pretty evident why none of the boys would even give you a onceover compared to the other girls.
“I don’t know if I want to play,” you mumble after Kim Jihyo suggests playing spin the bottle. You’re the only one who opposes the idea, though you could count Jungkook in given as he just sat there without saying a word.
Park Yerim rolls her eyes, “You’re so boring, Y/N!” The comment makes the rest giggle as you pout at being the designated party pooper. 
It’s all fun and games of truth and dares to whoever the bottle lands on and you’ve been lucky enough to avoid the tip of the plastic Coca-Cola bottle to point at you, until it lands on Jungkook who has done a few funny dares so far.
“Alright, Jungkook, let’s make things even more fun!” Jihyo announces since she’s been the one who has assigned most of the embarrassing challenges and questions, “I dare you to kiss one of the girls here for ten seconds.” 
The dare makes the boys cheer with excitement and the girls gasp with anticipation, hoping one of them is the lucky chosen one. Your lips part slightly as you stare at him sitting across from you, he’s clearly not comfortable with the dare, but knowing him, he won’t express his current discomfort. 
His eyes land on you as you stare back at him with concern, hoping that he’ll speak up to avoid himself the embarrassment. Has he even kissed someone before? If this is his first kiss, you’ll witness it alongside everyone else and you can only imagine how terrifying that must be. Even though Jungkook’s always been a brave kid, you can always tell when he feels under pressure.
“Uhm, I’ll uh—“ Jungkook keeps staring at you and you feel your heart start to beat like you just ran the usual ten laps around the gym in P.E class. Are you about to have your first kiss? With him? 
You nod your head absentmindedly, a sign to let him know it’s okay for him to pick you from all the other developed girls who probably have more experience kissing than you do, but it’s okay because you’ve always been a quick learner. 
“Yeji,” Jungkook says after what feels like forever, though it’s only been a mere few seconds, “I’ll kiss Yeji.” He adds, removing his eyes from yours and settling them on the girl with the high ponytail and pink colored nails. 
You bite your bottom lip hard, breaking the dry skin as you feel yourself taste blood. It doesn’t matter because no one’s paying attention to you and instead they’re focused on Jungkook’s neverending kiss with Yeji. 
When you get home that night, you look at yourself in the mirror and frown at your lack of everything. Is this the reason as to why he hadn’t picked you? 
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You’re fourteen and Kim Taehyung just sent you a message through MSN in which he confesses to have feelings for you. Your eyes widen, rereading the message several times, rubbing at your eyes just to make sure you’re seeing things correctly. 
You run off across the street to Jungkook’s house, ringing the doorbell quickly for someone to open up. You’re greeted by him looking at you with an annoyed expression, he had to pause his GTA game to come and open the door. 
“What do you want?” Jungkook asks harshly, crossing his arms as he stares into somewhere that’s not your face. He’s anxiously waiting for you to spit out whatever it is you’re there to say. 
You calm yourself down by breathing in deep and out, blowing the air right at him, “Does Taehyung like me?” You ask him, making Jungkook’s eyes widen in surprise and his brows to raise. 
His reaction tells you that you might’ve just discovered a secret you weren’t supposed to and it only makes your heart beat even faster because if it’s true, then this is a pleasant surprise. Kim Taehyung is one of the hottest boys in the tenth grade and he happens to be one of Jungkook’s closest friends. You think he must know something since you see them hanging out at lunch.
“Uh—I don’t know, Y/N.” Jungkook mumbles, rubbing at the back of his neck, finally looking at you and he feels a gut wrenching punch in his stomach at the sight. “Taehyung isn’t a really good guy, you shouldn’t—“ 
“What are you saying?” You interrupt him with a question, confused as to why Jungkook was painting a negative picture of his friend. “He was really sweet with what he said, he thinks my eyes are pretty when they sparkle — I didn’t even know they did that!” 
Jungkook grimaces and sighs, there’s really not much he can do here. You’ve always been so stubborn, so relentless. No matter how many times life tries to tell you something’s not meant for you, you challenge each and every one of it’s obstacles until you take what’s yours. 
“Okay, then what are you gonna do? Date him? You haven’t even had your first kiss yet.” Jungkook reminds you with a mocking tone and you furrow your brows together because, how does he know that? 
You stammer, “I-I have! I had it at camp last summer, actually!” That’s a lie, but he wasn’t there so he can’t prove the veracity of your statement. “And what do you care? So what if I want to date him?” You add with anger, not understanding why couldn’t he just support you in search of true love. 
The thought of dating Kim Taehyung had never crossed your mind, thinking he was way too out of your league for him to ever notice you. But that confession sitting in your MSN chat now served as a nice feeling of knowing you aren’t as invisible as you think you are. 
Jungkook scoffs, “Taehyung would never date you, okay? He’s older than you, he’s cool, he goes to parties and has kissed almost every girl in his grade, do you think he’d really like someone as boring as you?” He doesn’t mean to be so harsh, but you’re just so difficult and impossible to get through.
Jungkook’s used to the trembling bottom lip and the teary eyes that you give him everytime he says something that definitely strikes a nerve within you, but he’s always impressed on how you always refrain from crying in front of him. Last time you did that you were both kids and he probably took the last lollipop from your batch of collected halloween candy. 
“Screw you, Jungkook,” you say through gritted teeth, and if looks could kill, he’d be dead already. 
He looks at you quickly stomp your way back to your house, only heading back inside once you slam your front door shut. Jungkook enters his room to find two new messages in his MSN.
$$ kIm tAaEhyYyuNG $$: it worked! 
$$ kIm tAeEhyYyunGG $$: she fell for it xDxD where did u even come up with the sparkly eyes thing?? that’s gold bro rofl 
Jungkook sighs, ignoring the messages and shutting his computer down.
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You’re sixteen and you’ve been invited to your first party. Granted, it was Jungkook’s, but he knew that if he didn’t ask you to come you’d probably tell on him with his mom. No matter what age he was, he’d always fear his mother’s scolding. 
“Drink this!” Park Jimin says with his beautiful smile and you’re starting to realize why they gave him that very same superlative on the school’s yearbook. You take the red solo cup without any second thought, placing the rim straight to your lips and choke once you feel the liquid burn your throat. 
“Ugh—What’s this?” You ask, cleaning the droplets of liquid around the corners of your mouth. 
He chuckles, “Fruit punch!” The liquid is indeed red like the familiar drink you’re used to, but there’s definitely something else mixed inside. “Oh, and vodka,” he adds with wiggly eyebrows as he shows off the small flask he was hiding in his sweatshirt’s front pocket.
You gasp and hand him the cup back, “No, I don’t drink alcohol, sorry.” Jimin rolls his eyes and it reminds you of the many times you’ve received this same reaction from your classmates before. Always a party pooper. He’s about to take the plastic red cup from you until you quickly drink the spiked punch in one go.
The boy howls in excitement, “Woo, go Y/N! Another one coming right up.” 
Jungkook knows he should be making sure everything’s alright downstairs. If his mother notices there’s at least one misplaced object, she’ll know right away something went down in her house while her husband and her were away for the weekend on an emergency trip to their hometown. Leaving him unsupervised only because they both believed their son was old enough to tend for himself.
But Jung Eunha had dragged him into his room with the excuse of wanting to see what it looked like, but the mini tour had turned into them kissing on his bed and Jungkook is thankful he changed his Spiderman sheets in exchange for some boring plain grey ones. Eunha smells like fresh mint and Jungkook is way into his head to focus on properly kissing her.
It’s not until his bedroom door is abruptly open, slamming against the wall that Jungkook literally jumps to his feet, making Eunha gasp as they both look at the person who has interrupted their awkward makeout session. 
“Guk-ah, what are you doin’?” You curiously wonder, a hiccup following right after which makes you giggle. Jungkook’s chest rises and falls with quickness as he notices you look different from the last time he saw you twenty minutes ago when you were talking to Jimin. “Guk-ah, were you—you kissin’ Eunha?” You ask once more after not receiving an answer to your previous question.
“Y/N, are you okay?” He asks in concern, coming closer to analyze your weird state. You stretch your arm out to avoid him from nearing you, making him falter in his place as he studies your expression. 
You hum, “Guk-ah, you busy. Sorry,” you apologize in a shy tone, ready to head back down and have more of that fruity alcohol punch you now found tasty, but you stumble and only avoid yourself from falling by holding onto Jungkook's door frame, he’s already reaching out by then. 
“Are you fucking serious, Y/N? Get out!” Eunha complains with irritation, getting up from the bed and ready to kick you out of his room, but his free arm stops her from getting near you. “Whu—?”
“Eunha, go back down. I’ll deal with her myself.” Jungkook says as calmly as he can, thinking three’s a crowd and dealing with you wasn’t an easy thing in of itself. She’s about to argue, but he interrupts her again, “Go down, now.” 
She rolls her eyes and bumps her shoulder against yours harshly once she steps out of his room, “Whatever, that kiss was shitty anyway.” 
He pretends he didn’t hear that and takes you in his arms instead, dragging you to lay on his bed as you cuddle into his favorite pillow and hug it close to your body. How much did you drink? Why did you even do it in the first place? Jungkook knows you’ve never tried alcohol before, which means he’ll be in big trouble if you show up back to your house like this. 
When you open your eyes hours later, your head hurts and it feels lightweight when you move it side to side. The room you’re in is familiar, that spiderman poster is still hung on the wall, but there are no more toys laying around the floor; they’ve probably been stored somewhere in his garage or sent off to a donation center under his mother’s demand.
The pillow that you’re hugging smells just like him and any other day you’d hold on to it tighter and inhale his scent like your life depended on it, but you abruptly sit on the bed as you’re reminded of how you got here. The action is not appreciated by your dizzy head, but you look around the room to notice how dark it is and there’s no more music playing downstairs. 
You quickly jump to the ground, only to hear a “Fuck, ouch!” from below, stepping on Jungkook’s leg unintentionally. It makes you gasp, looking down to notice the older friend laying on the cold floor, having gotten rid of that childhood carpet of his. His head’s laying on a makeshift pillow made out of a towel and he’s trying hard not to shiver. 
“I’m sorry, sorry, sorry!” You quickly apologize, stepping away from his figure as he soothes the shin of his leg you stepped on. “Jungkook, what happened?” 
He sighs, “Someone decided to drink like five cups of spiked punch knowing damn well it was their first time drinking alcohol, stepped into my room like a crazy person, and then crashed on my bed like they—What’s with the face?”
“Bathroom.”
Jungkook grimaces while he holds your hair back, you’re throwing away all the liquid you had taken with a few additional snacks you had munched on earlier, “Are you done?” He asks in a tired mumble and you shake your head no.
He feels guilty that you’re in this position. He didn’t even want to kiss Eunha, but she was one of the most popular girls in his grade and he knew that if he turned her down she would most likely put a bad word in with the rest of the girls and the guys would make fun of him for being such a wuss.
That would’ve been better, because after laying you down on his bed he had to go down and tell everyone that the party was over, putting an excuse that the neighbors had warned him and threatened to call the cops. They all cleared pretty quickly, but he knew he was going to be the butt of the jokes come Monday. He even had to call your parents to let them know you had gone home to a friend’s house for a sleepover, which he knew wasn’t totally believable, but it had somehow gotten them convinced that their daughter was alright because they trusted Jungkook to never hurt you ever. 
Once you feel like you’ve puked your stomach out, Jungkook hands you a pill accompanied with a glass of water and hands you clothes of his that might be more comfortable to sleep in. 
“Good night, Jungkook,” you whisper once you’re laying back on his bed, still hugging the pillow he preferred to sleep with. He makes a sacrifice to make it up to you. 
His back is going to hurt by the time the sun comes out in a few hours, but it’s okay if it means you’ll sleep comfortably after the events of tonight. “Good night, Y/N.” 
He’s unable to sleep, but finds entertainment in your hanging hand beside his bed. The skin on your palm looks soft and there’s this strange urge inside of him that makes him want to grab your hand in his, but he refrains. 
To calm the current chaos in his head, Jungkook finds peace in the light snores coming from his bed.
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You’re just about to turn eighteen and your date to the prom is Jeong Jaehyun, who had only asked you out a day before the event because the girl he had initially wanted to take had been asked and he didn’t have a plan B. 
Jaehyun is okay, at least he managed to get you a corsage that matched the color of your dress. He even smiles in the pictures your parents take of you both as you awkwardly try to look comfortable with his arms around you even though by then you had only exchanged a few sentences. 
The prom’s theme is Summer Nights and you think it’s fitting considering this is the very last event before the graduation ceremony, meaning that you’d most likely never see most of these people ever again. You had purposely applied to a college that was outside of your hometown for that same reason. You’re ready to live the life you’ve always wanted to live, without anyone judging or knowing you. 
Your date spends most of the night talking with his group of friends as you’re left alone on your table, looking at your well manicured nails. You knew you weren’t going to get the same prom experience the high school kids on T.V enjoyed, but you at least hoped it would’ve been a little more fun than this.
A tap on your shoulder makes you turn around to see Jungkook trying to loosen the tight tie around his neck. He looks incredibly handsome and you suppose his mother helped him pick the suit out, Jungkook rarely ever wore fitted clothing, so this is one of those once in a lifetime moments..
“Hey you,” you say and he gives you half a smile, wondering why you’re sitting by yourself at an empty table when everyone else was either mingling or dancing. “Where’s your date?” You ask with curiosity, you’re surprised that Jinsoul isn’t trailing alongside him given how she had behaved for the past week ever since he asked her to come with him. 
“Retouching her face or something,” he answers casually, “what are you doing sitting here? Where’s Jaehyun?” Jungkook asks.
You shrug your shoulders, “Don’t know, probably talking with the guys of the basketball team. He’s been gone for a while.” Not like you care, anyway. If your conversation with him inside his car on the way to the venue had been any indication of what it would’ve been like for the rest of the night, you’re glad he's not here trying to make any more small talk with you.
Jungkook huffs, thinking he’ll kick his ass if he sees him. He had asked him to invite you so you wouldn’t come alone, and yet here you are, sitting all by yourself while the douchebag’s making a social life somewhere in the crowd. He calms down once he notices how unbothered you are by it, though. You’re a big girl now, you’ve been through too much to be affected by something as simple as this.
“Is there something you wan—“
“Dance!” You interrupt with excitement and Jungkook chuckles.
“I was gonna ask if you wanted something to drink, but—alright, let’s dance.” Jungkook can’t dance for shit, but you took lessons when you were younger and he can still remember how you’d always show him the routines you learned in class. He’d always boo you, but in reality you were pretty good. He wonders why you stopped, he doesn’t recall you ever telling him.
It’s just his luck that once you both step into the dancefloor, the hired DJ stops the up-tempo song playing before and switches to a much slower romantic one, “Alright everyone, I want all the couples on the dancefloor for this one.” 
You step away from him with nervousness, it’s couples only after all. But Jungkook holds onto your lower back firmly, pulling you closer into his space. Your eyebrows raise as your lips part, “Uh, s-should we, uh—?” 
“It’s just a song, Y/N. You wanted to dance, then we’ll dance.” He tells you with such confidence it makes you feel like this is totally normal and something all friends do. All the known High School couples are dancing together, heads tenderly placed over chests and chins resting lovingly above them. You wait for Jungkook to take the lead because you have no clue of what you should be doing, you might’ve taken dance lessons years ago but you’ve never slowed danced in your life. 
Jungkook places his hand on your hip, the touch makes goosebumps crawl in your arms. He pretends he doesn’t notice it as he takes your right hand in his. You stare at the way he delicately holds it like it’s his mother’s fine china. “Place your other hand on my shoulder,” he instructs and you do as asked, your palm coming to rest on the strong muscle. 
He’s only slowed danced once before at a family member’s wedding where his mother taught him how to, with her as the teacher. Back then he thought it was incredibly ridiculous, but now he’s sort of glad that happened because he’s the teacher now and you’re now looking at him with your big eyes as you sway alongside him. 
You clear your throat, “This isn’t that hard.” Jungkook nods as he stares down at you, noticing how uneasy you are given that you’re looking at everything and not entirely immersed in the moment.
“You look beautiful tonight.” He says out of nowhere, making you look at him like a deer stuck in headlights, cheeks flushed with embarrassment. He had never called you that before. 
An awkward laugh escapes your lips, looking away from his intense gaze as you try not to take his words too literally, “Ha ha, that was a good one.” To you there’s no other explanation than this being one of his mean pranks on you.
But Jungkook doesn’t falter both his words and gaze, “I’m not laughing.” There’s seriousness in his voice and you have to look back at him again just to make sure he really isn’t, “You look beautiful, just take the compliment.” You nod and there’s silence between you two after that. You’re digesting the romantic lyrics that the singer is talking about and hope that the song ends soon, because you’ve never been this close to him and it’s starting to feel too crowded.
You clear your throat, “So…” 
“So…,” he repeats. 
“What are you doing for summer?” You ask him in an attempt to break the tension and wanting to take advantage of the little intimate moment since Jungkook rarely ever lets you pry into his private life. 
“I think I’ll train before heading off,” he answers. It was more than obvious he was going to earn that sports scholarship he had been aiming for, he was one of the best athletes on the school; though you considered him to be the number one between them all. “I’m kinda scared, not gonna lie.” 
You look at him with surprise, tilting your head to the side, “You’re scared?” You ask in disbelief because as long as you’ve known him, he’s never been scared of anything. This is the same kid who instilled your fear of monsters in a closet after watching Monster’s Inc. together, also the same kid who helped you get over it after he realized you had actually taken it seriously.
He chuckles lightly, “Yeah, I’m just scared about starting over.” It’s interesting how his biggest fear is the one you’re looking forward to the most, but you suppose it’s fitting for someone who has never had to worry about what people think of him. In this town, Jungkook has swam freely without any concerns. Out there, he’s just another fish in the big and scary ocean. “Aren’t you?” He questions, hoping that you’re able to relate to what he’s feeling. 
“Honestly, I—“ 
You’re interrupted by Jaehyun clearing his voice in front of you two, making you both turn your heads towards his direction. You quickly separate from Jungkook and he feels his body lose the warmness you were providing. 
“If you wanted to dance, you could’ve just asked. I’m your date after all.” He says smugly and you chuckle awkwardly, nodding because he’s right. 
Jungkook wants to punch his stupid face, how dare he interrupt you both when he had been ignoring you the whole night? Why does he suddenly want to dance with you when he’s probably still upset at him for asking Jinsoul to the prom before he could?
“Your date’s looking for you, buddy. She doesn’t look too happy.” Jaehyun adds with a smirk as he takes your hand in his and drags you away from Jungkook towards another place on the dancefloor. 
He’s left to stare at the way he holds your hand, and he only hopes he’s doing it ever so carefully. 
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You’re twenty when Jungkook sees you for the first time since you both left for college two and half a years ago. He’s rendered speechless when he spots you in the crowd, there’s a manly hand around your waist as you giggle into the stranger’s mouth before placing a kiss to his lips. 
There’s only so much social media can provide him, pictures and stories aren’t enough for Jungkook to keep up with you. He thinks you’ve changed, not only appearance wise but you seem way more outgoing, carefree, and happy. Did he miss the boyfriend announcement picture? He’s sure he didn’t, he checks your profile almost every day and he’s never even seen him in any of your stories. 
A gasp escapes your lips once you spot him, completely forgetting about the possibility of bumping into him given that both your schools were playing against each other that night. You tell Namjoon you’ll be right back and he nods, going back to a conversation with the group of college friends you had made. 
You surprise him by jumping into him, arms around his shoulders as you hug him from behind. You let out a shrill of excitement and he blushes as his friends chuckle at the unexpected approach from this unfamiliar girl. 
‘‘Jungkook! You didn’t tell me you’d be here,’’ you say once he turns around to face you and he’s able to see you better upfront. You look beautiful and he thinks the Instagram pictures are not doing you enough justice. You’re glowing, and it has nothing to do with the highlighter you applied on your face and collarbone area. 
The both of you aren’t able to properly talk until you suggest moving to a different area, Jungkook apologizing to his friends as he explained he needed to catch up with an old friend. They don’t complain and instead shoot him teasing looks and small pervy comments that go by unnoticed to you. 
Jungkook listens with intent to your ramble about what you’ve been up to. From your courses, to your roommates, the parties you’ve attended, and even the fact that you handle your alcohol better now. He’s happy that you seem so too, but it irks him that you hadn’t been capable of telling him that you had a boyfriend now. Is there a reason as to why you omitted that important piece of information? 
‘‘And what about you? How’s college?’’ You ask with curiosity. 
He blinks a few times, realizing you had stopped talking about yourself and was now wondering about him instead. ‘‘It’s fine,’’ he answers with a tight lipped smile, the lack of detail compared to you was astonishing, but even though you were still hungry for more you decided not to pry any further. 
There’s fear in revealing that he’s been having a hard time catching up with the rest of his peers. College was indeed fine, but it could be better. He’s settled with the idea that this is as good at it’ll get, some things just aren’t like you expect them to be. At least you’re happy, and that fact brings him comfort. 
‘‘Was that your, uhm─boyfriend?’’ He finally asks after a while, both about to head back to your respective group of friends. 
The question takes you by surprise, looking at him with raised eyebrows and mouth agape. ‘‘Who? Namjoon?’’ He nods, though he doesn’t know anything about the guy he had first seen you with. You let out a wholehearted laugh, ‘‘Hell no, too many commitment issues with that one,’’ you answer and Jungkook’s forehead creases with confusion. 
Why were you kissing him then? 
‘‘We’re friends with benefits,’’ you inform him as if you had read his mind. ‘‘He’s a nice guy, though. Also, super smart, he’s helped me with a few of my─’’ 
‘‘You’re not a virgin anymore?’’ He abruptly asks, disbelief in his tone as he internally screams to himself for thinking out loud. Jungkook expects you to berate him about such an imprudent question, but is surprised when he sees you giggling. 
‘‘Duh, silly. I think I lost it freshman year?’’ The carelessness in your voice makes him look at you like you’ve gone crazy. Why are you so lax about this? Why are you telling him about losing your virginity without a care in the world? ‘‘Anyway, are you going to be home for the─’’
Jungkook interrupts you once again, ‘‘Was it with your boyfriend at the time?’’ He asks in genuine curiosity and you sigh, rolling your eyes slightly at him. 
‘‘No, it was some random dude at this party I went to. Could you please─’’
‘‘Y/N, are you insane? Why would you give up your virginity to some fucking stranger like it’s nothing?’’ Jungkook’s voice raises as he scolds you about being so negligent about yourself, ‘‘You can’t do shit like that!’’ He fumed, making you let out a breathless chuckle. 
‘‘Could you stop treating me like a fucking child for once in your life? I’m perfectly fine, Jungkook. I’ve been doing pretty well for myself without you here, actually. I don’t know why you think you have a say on what I do, is it the entitlement you have of me that you still carry around because we grew up together? Because if that’s it then you can drop it, I let go of my little girl who wanted a friend and was treated like pure shit in return complex a long time ago.’’ 
He knows you’re right, but he thinks he’ll always have this odd sense of protection over the five year old girl who cried to his mom about not lending her his favorite toy. He’ll always want to apologize to the eight year old girl who declared her love for him with a Valentine’s Day card while he ended up breaking her heart in exchange. He’ll always wish to look for help within the twelve year old girl who witnessed him give out his first kiss to another girl who he didn’t even like. He’ll always feel guilty towards the sixteen year old girl who had gotten tipsy on a spiked fruit punch and crashed on his bed. He’ll always hate himself for not asking the seventeen going on eighteen year old girl to prom when he knew he could’ve, but chose not to in fear of ruining your friendship. 
You only wanted someone to be there for you growing up and Jungkook had never been the brave boy you thought he was, always running from his fears in hopes he’d have a wide advantage margin from them. Yet here they are, standing right in front of him in the form of a twenty year old you, and they’re there to let him know that you’ve never needed him, yet he’s always needed you.
He can’t even apologize, he only looks at you with wide eyes as he fidgets in his place. Either you’re both too old now to understand each other or you just realized that you’ve outgrown Jungkook. 
Your mouth set in a hard line as you crossed your arms, the night’s breeze feeling colder than usual. ‘‘I miss you Jungkook, but I can’t keep playing this cat and mouse game with you any longer.’’ 
You leave him behind to go back to Namjoon’s arms, seeking refuge in his sweet embrace as you try your hardest to put on practice what you learned all those years ago when Jungkook broke your heart for the first time, you should be used to it by now.
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You’re twenty-one when you’re back in your hometown to attend the funeral of the old lady down the street, the one that always scolded you and Jungkook growing up. 
You had been scared of her as a child, but always following along your friend’s footsteps when he proposed playing around her garden. It tugs at your heartstrings even if you hadn’t known the woman well. Her death was imminent seeing as she’d been ill for quite some time. 
A taller figure stands next to you as you both stand way in the back of the ceremony. He looks tired and you figure that it’s because of the fact he arrived late into the night, you heard his car’s engine from your bedroom window. Dressing in all black, you notice he bought a new suit. You’re sure that the one he wore for prom no longer fits considering he’s bigger now. 
You haven’t talked to each other since last year when you both left off on a sour note. The hurt you felt was no longer present, though. You chewed on your bottom lip as you thought of a way you could talk to him again without making things awkward, but you let out a small gasp once he placed his arm around your shoulders, giving it a small squeeze as he sighed and kept his focus on the service. 
Watching the casket be lowered into the ground felt weird. She was a human being just like you, but her existence was a reminder of your childhood. Would it be okay to say that her death meant a part of you leaving with her too? 
Once it hits you, it’s Jungkook who consoles you by hugging you tight. Your eyes are too blurry with tears for you to realize this is one of those rare moments where he’s holding you close without hesitation. He lets you ruin his tuxedo’s jacket with your mascara covered tears as he brushes your hair as a sign of comfort. 
You know things are back in order when he proposes the idea to go back to the old lady’s porch, for old times sake. ‘‘Will we ever let her rest?’’ You ask him with a small laugh as Jungkook sits on the doorsteps of the old lady’s empty home, opening the bag of candy worms he bought at the grocery store. 
He shrugs, ‘‘She loved us, always told my mom how much she missed us running around the street.’’ The revelation makes you smile, hoping it was true. He pats the empty space next to him, indicating for you to fill it up with your presence. Once you do, you feel the familiar warmth of his proximity. 
Jungkook seems different and you only hope he’s changed for the best. 
‘‘When are you going back?’’ You ask him with curiosity, hoping that he’ll be in town for a few more days so you can catch up with him on a better note this time around. 
He munches on one of the snacks, ‘‘Tomorrow morning, I have training camp and can’t miss it.’’ His answer makes you sigh with disappointment, but you nod nonetheless. ‘‘What about you?’’ He asks in return, and you inform him that you’ll stay for a few more days to spend time with your family. There’s silence after that and Jungkook can only offer you the gummy worms in the bag, you take one with a small thanks.  
‘‘College fucking sucks,’’ he says out of nowhere and it makes you look at him in bewilderement, ‘‘I hate it there, I wanna drop out so bad. But I’m a year away from graduating so it’s too late now.’’ You see his shoulders visibly relax, like a weight had been lifted off them. ‘‘Plus my mom would kill me if I do so,’’ he adds with a chuckle. 
Last time you asked everything was fine. Had things changed or had they always been this way and he was just now being honest with you?
You rest your head on his shoulder and focus all of your undivided attention on him as he keeps rambling about what his life has been ever since he left this town. He’s had bad games, bad grades, and bad girls. But he’s also had incredible games, good grades, and a couple great hookups, and yet he still feels empty, it’s not enough. 
‘‘I miss you,’’ he mumbles as he faces you, ‘‘I’m sorry for being such a shitty friend, you deserved better.’’ His apology is genuine and you can feel it in the way his voice trembles, sincerity has always scared him after all. 
Jungkook’s never known when the time is right, and he misjudges the look on your face. When he leans down to press his lips against yours, he’s blinded for a mere moment into believing that you wanted to kiss him just as much as he had been waiting. 
You abruptly separate from him with wide eyes and parted lips, ‘‘Jungkook, I’m─I’m dating Namjoon now.’’ He can physically feel his heart shatter, the revelation coming out like an old newspaper headline he should’ve read a long time ago. 
He lets out a breathless chuckle, ‘‘He got over the commitment issues?’’ The rhetorical question is bitter. 
You scoff, ‘‘And what about it? I preferred to wait than to rush into getting my heart broken.’’ Plus it’s not like you were expecting Namjoon to grow feelings for you, the whole no strings attached arrangement was named that way for a reason. 
Jungkook looks at you with narrowed eyes and he shakes his head sightly. Old habits never die down, still so stubborn and challenging as ever. 
He’s startled as you stand abruptly, fuming as you look at him, ‘‘I don’t even know why you care! Did you forget that you threw my Valentine’s Day card into the trash? Or that you kissed Yeji in front of my face? Or that you let Taehyung date me as prank between your friends? Or that you were making out with Eunha while Jimin kept giving me alcohol? Or that you asked Jaehyun to take me to the stupid prom even though I was perfectly fine going without him or anyone for that matter?’’
‘‘We were just kids!’’ Jungkook argues back at you.
‘‘It still fucking hurt,’’ you counter, ‘‘still hurts, actually. You think that by giving me a measly apology and kissing it better I’ll suddenly forget about all of it?’’ Jungkook knows it won’t ever make up for all those years, but he had at least hoped you’d be willing to give him a chance. 
He wishes he could say something else. Explain that he had just tried to protect you in his own shitty way from everyone else or himself maybe, he doesn’t know anymore. He wants to speak up again, but there’s disappointment written all over your face, you’re not angry at him...just saddened. 
‘‘Hope you have fun at your training camp.’’
Jungkook watches as you leave him sitting by himself on the old lady’s doorstep. A hand runs through his hair as he feels his eyes water, and he can almost hear a whisper in the wind that asks him why he didn’t stop you when he could’ve. 
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Jungkook didn’t think that his family coming together with yours for Christmas dinner would’ve been a great idea. You’re cold to him at first and it’s fitting for the winter weather, but as always it only takes for him to sit next to you for things to warm up again. 
It’s with the excuse that you’ll run over to your house to grab a new bottle of wine from the kitchen counter that Jungkook trails behind you, both slightly tipsy on the different alcohols your families had offered each other. 
Years have passed since he last stepped foot inside your home, you used to visit him more often than he did anyway. It still smells and looks the same; the only difference is that there’s new pictures of you hung up on the walls, updated accordingly to the changes you’ve made ever since you left off for college.
You’re sporting a big smile in all of them, which in exchange makes him copy the action as well. His lack of presence in your life has done you better than compared to when he was around, and if that’s the case, then at least he did something right. 
There hasn’t been much said since the beginning of the night, just a simple hey out of courtesy. There’s so much he wants to say, but with no clue where to begin. Another apology is due, though he thinks it’s a little too late for that. He also wants to ask about what you’ve been up to since he last saw you, are you still dating the Namjoon guy you had told him about after he kissed you? If he’s still there, Jungkook rather keep quiet and not wonder out loud to you, he’s sure that it’ll hurt if it’s true. 
Growing up Jungkook always mistook your bravery with stubbornness and your courage with relentlessness. You’ve always been challenging, but only because you wanted him to do so too. It’s moments like this that prove him that you’ve always been the stronger between the two.
‘‘So, we’re just gonna pretend like nothing’s wrong between us?’’ You ask, speaking directly to him for the first time that night. It makes him look at you like a deer stuck in headlights, surprised by the sudden question and out of all the years of knowing each other, he feels small under your gaze for once. ‘‘How much time is it going to pass until you want to finally talk things like adults?’’ 
Jungkook gulps the lump in his throat, his brain quickly thinking of the right thing to say, ‘‘I just wanted to protect you from─’’
‘‘From what? From you? Everytime you’ve done that I end up getting hurt in the end. I’m left to pick the pieces up by myself,’’ you interject with anger in your voice. ‘‘It fucking pisses me off that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you kissing me, I haven’t stopped thinking about you and─’’ A sigh, you close your eyes to center yourself again as Jungkook waits for the final blow, ‘‘and you look like none of this has ever bothered you in the slightest because, you don’t really care about me do you?’’
‘‘I do care about you.’’ He’s sure about it, even though he’s been extremely bad at showing it. 
Even though your eyes are threatening to spill tears, you still muster up the last bit of what’s left of your courage to step closer to him until you’re a few inches away. ‘‘Prove it, then. Show me that you care.’’ 
His brain is sent into quick overdrive due to your close proximity. There’s a slight hesitation because he only hopes that what he’s about to do is what you’re demanding him to prove. He doesn’t care if you’re still dating the Namjoon guy because he’s settled with the idea that it’s okay if you don’t correspond, it’s not like he did the same to you when you were both younger. 
Once his lips press against yours, there’s no turning back. He’s waiting for you to push him back and let him know that your heart’s still taken, but you kiss him with such fervor that he knows in that moment that you’re right, it’s better to wait than to rush right in. 
It’s no fairytale kiss, though. There’s desperation in the way you chase his lips, as if you were to slow down he’d find a way to escape from you. You grip the cotton material of his crewneck into your small fists, holding on to the fabric like your life depended on it. The small kiss you had both shared last year was nothing compared to this, and Jungkook’s taken aback by your neediness. 
He doesn’t know how you manage to drag him to your childhood bedroom without missing a beat, only separating once you both realize you need to catch your breaths, and even then Jungkook can’t have a minute to take just happened in because your lips attach to his neck to get more of a taste. His fingers curled around your arm, sighing at the way your kisses felt like electricity on his skin. 
‘‘Y/N,’’ he calls your name out in a breathy tone, but you’re too immersed in your little bubble to even realize it. 
Jungkook groans when you bite into the skin of his neck, then blowing over the red mark as you kissed it better. It’s going to be bruise and he doesn’t like when that happens, but he’s not bothered at all if it comes from you. He forcibly grabs your chin so you can face him, looking at him with big eyes, a small pout, and with your chin messed with drool. 
It’s then that Jungkook kisses you hungrily, making you feel like you’re in a dream-like state,  though you could partially blame the Christmas eggnog for that. The way he bites at your lips and how your tongues clash together is an extreme juxtaposition as to how you could describe this moment. It’s as if you’re floating on air, clouds surrounding you in a heavenly embrace, angels singing in the background every time his hands touch, grab, hold and caress every part of your body. And yet, even with such a difference, it’s perfect because it’s Jungkook. You’ve been waiting for this too long, which is why your hands creep beneath his crewneck, touching his tonified abdomen tentatively and enjoying the way goosebumps arise on his skin at the sensation of your fingers trailing patterns wherever they caress.  
It’s only fair that he pays attention to yours as well. Jungkook’s lips trail from your mouth onto your jawline, planting wet kisses on each space until he begins sucking on the skin of your neck, making you moan in the process. He chooses then that his new favorite sound is the way you voice out the pleasure he gives you. ‘‘Hurry up,’’ you say, ridding the bottom of the crewneck higher over his stomach, making him shiver at the sudden change of temperature. 
Jungkook chuckles before completely getting rid of the material, ‘‘Calm down,’’ he sighs as he gives you a sweet smile, ‘‘You know our moms could talk forever.’’ 
You ogle his chest, admiring the way his training camps have obviously done wonders to his body. ‘‘It’s not them I’m talking about,’’ you correct him with a teasing smile that only makes his grin grow wider, chuckling at your impatience. Jungkook lets out a small gasp of surprise when your hands grasp at his shoulder blades, turning him around so you can back him until the back of his knees hit the edge of your bed. It’s funny how he lets himself be bossed around by someone who’s way smaller compared to his frame.
Jungkook finds leverage on his elbows splayed against the mattress, your knees resting on each side of his hips as you leaned into him and kissing him just as widely as you had done before. Jungkook could fill just how quick things were escalating, especially the way his crotch area was beginning to become a problem he couldn’t possibly control at the moment, not with your own being directly on top of it. In any other situation he would’ve apologized with an awkward laugh, but his breath hitches once your hips start grinding over him.  
His hands make their way on the inside of your knitted sweater, provoking goosebumps on the exposed skin. You let out a shaky laugh, halting your movements so you can quickly get rid of the fabric as Jungkook’s eyebrows lift in surprise at your haste and then at the sight of your bra covered breasts. His hands are still steadily placed on each side of your waist, only brought up because your own had redirected them over your breasts, hoping he gets the message on what you want him to do now.   
Jungkook hesitantly squeezed one of the round globes, provoking a small moan to come from out of your lips. He wishes to hold you as close as he possibly can because the idea of ever being away from you again has been his main fear as of lately. But he refrains, you look so delicate and he feels like you could easily break. He stares at your body lovingly and your cheeks heat up at the way his eyes ogle your chest like a kid in a candy story. You give his arm a light slap and he chuckles, leaning over you to place a passionate kiss on your lips.
“You’re beautiful,” he says frankly. It doesn’t help to dissipate the flush on your face, but the compliment doesn’t bother you in the slightest. Jungkook leans in to trail kisses past your collarbones and into the swell of your breasts, making you bite your lip with anticipation. He looks at you asking for permission and you nod quickly with parted lips as you start to become impatient for him to make his next move. Jungkook lowers the cups of your breasts, freeing your hardened nipples and immediately envelopes one of them with his lips. “Mph—!” A sigh escapes your lips as you try to memorize the way his tongue traces over your tit. He pays attention to your other one, fingers rolling over the bud and pinching ever so often. 
You can feel your panties damp by then, trespassing into the fabric of the black leggings you’re wearing over them. Reaching behind your back, you fumble in unclasping the hooks of the now uncomfortable bra. Jungkook’s forced to stop the undivided attention he had places on your breasts to look at you like he’s lost, why are you going so fast? 
Once your hands delve with the buckle of his belt, he has to hold on to your wrists with a firm grasp, ‘‘What are you doing?’’ He asks with quick breath, you blink stoically towards him. 
‘‘Uh─getting you naked?’’ You answer with a nonchalant tone, but his hands don’t let go and your demeanor changes, ‘‘D-Did you not want this?’’ Your voice turns smaller, embarrassed that maybe you had pressured him into something he didn’t want to participate in. 
Jungkook quickly shakes his head no, ‘‘No, I-I do want this! It’s just─you’re going so fast,’’ he tries to explain, ‘‘I’ve been waiting for this for too long, I don’t wanna rush.’’ Your eyes lit up at the revelation as he waits for you to answer back, only for his back to hit the comforter with a small thud, giggling at the way you urgently kiss him again, but this time with much more care. 
‘‘Why didn’t you say so before, stupid?’’ You mumble with a sheepish look, ‘‘I thought it was just going to be─nevermind, I need you right now.’’ You have to force yourself from spitting out any details that could possibly ruin the moment between you two, deciding to wait instead for any emotional confessions you want to make. 
He switches positions between the two, panting as he brings you down to the mattress and Jungkook can feel the goosebumps on your skin, whether from the coldness of the room or because of the sheer electricity of his hands caressing your body like it was molded just right for him. He dips his hand lower, cupping your clothed heat on his hand. It makes you tremble and you whine, encouraging him to keep going. 
“Baby, you’re really wet,” he comments with a teasing tone and you pout at him. His fingers hook into the waistband of your leggings and he pulls them down as he travels with them, greeted by the sight of the damp cloth of your panties. He exhales with content, caressing your thighs in an up and down motion. You twist underneath him and he has to hold your hips down to calm you down, “Patience is a virtue.” 
“I’ve been too patient, do some—Ah!” Your whining is interrupted once Jungkook moves your underwear to the side holding it with his free hand, fingers coming to trace the slick covering your pussy lips. He becomes entranced with the transparent gooey liquid, bringing them close to his face as he separates his fingers and sees a strand connecting between them. “Guk-ah, p-please…” Your needy voice brings him back to reality, delving his fingers back into your exposed heat but this time with intent. 
Jungkook’s thumb lifts the hood covering your clit, mouth coming down to give it a small tentative kiss. That action alone has you writhing above him, it makes him chuckle to himself as he dives back in. The moans you let out are loud and clear inside your bedroom, thankful that it’s only you and him inside your house. Your hand pulls at his hair, making him groan against you and the vibrations are felt throughout your body, only adding to the euphoric pleasure you already possess. His fingers trace the inside of your thighs until they reach your entrance, circling the fluttering hole which makes you pull at his hair harder and with your other you hold on to the bedsheets of the comforter tightly into your fist. 
Jungkook’s tongue is still working your engorged bud, but he focuses his eyes on you as he dips the first finger inside you. “Oh—fuck,” you let out in a breathy moan. He tries to maintain a rhythm between his two ministrations, but it’s hard when he wants to focus on all of them at once. “‘Nother, please,” you begged once he let your clit rest, quickly following your request by adding another into your warm heat. He lets out a breathless chuckle as he notices how easy it is to thrust both fingers inside of you, your whole crotch area is covered in slick and his wet chin is a dead giveaway to where he was seconds ago. 
He watches you unravel over him with such adoration, not even his wettest dreams or dirtiest fantasies could prepare him for this. Seven minutes in heaven he plans to stay in forever. “Guk-ah, I wan’ you. I-Inside, please.” You plead with teary eyes, and he slowly stops, removing his arousal covered fingers from inside you as he makes you sigh in the process. He kisses you again and again, your hazy brain is probably hallucinating all of this right now, but damn is it good. You tug at the crewneck he’s wearing, he’s too overdressed for this occasion. He tends to your demands, quickly getting rid of all the layers of clothing that stop him from being inside of you fully. 
“I don’t have a—“ 
“I’m on the pill.”
You both speak at the same time, making each other chuckle. Jungkook gulps at the idea of taking you raw as the first time together, and you salivate at his hardened length; the head already oozing precum out and you want nothing more than to wrap your lips around it and lick the tip up. You’re just about to when Jungkook quickly grabs your wrist to stop you from reaching him, you look up at him with the big sparkly eyes he has loved for too long. 
“I just—I wanna be inside you right now,” he sheepishly admits, and you smile with a nod; sharing the sentiment. You back up until your head rests on the pillows comfortably, relaxing into the mattress as you wait for Jungkook to ready himself. He places a kiss on your lips before placing a hand next to your head, using it as leverage above you. His free hand takes his cock and rubs the tip along your folds, making you squirm with anticipation. Jungkook chuckles, “Are you ready?” He asks with a sweet smile. 
“I’ve always been,” you whisper, your hand tucking a strand of his long hair behind his ear. 
A caress to his cheek as he nods, slowly pushing the head of his dick into you. You bite into your lip hard, it’s been a while since you had sex with someone and Jungkook’s size and girth was different from the rest. Your walls are tight around him and he has a tough time trying to reach the hilt with you squeezing him so hard, “Baby, relax for me.” He pleads and you nod apologetically, breathing in deep as you feel him reach parts inside of you, you didn’t know existed. Once he’s all the way in, he waits for you to give him the go ahead while he presses kisses into your heated cheek. You wrap your legs around his waist and give him a nod, letting him know he was allowed to start thrusting.
Jungkook manages to hit all the right places, keeping a steady pace as he enters and exits you each time. You’re left to moan and writhe underneath him, letting him take you as he pleases. Your kisses become messy, teeth biting into each other’s lips, teeth grazing against each other as you both tried to fight for the dominant position. It’s that heavy makeout that incites you to push at his shoulders, making him turn in his back, exiting you in the process. Jungkook pants, chest rising and falling with quickness as you straddle his lap, arms connecting behind his neck. 
“You always want to win, right?” He chuckles with half lidded eyes, enjoying the way your pussy lips grinded over his twitching length. You bat your eyelashes at him, offering him an innocent smile. The same technique that used to get you everything you wanted when you were younger. Same determination as you seek for what’s yours. He’s under you after all, still a victim to your charms.
Jungkook takes the bulbous head of his cock and teases it in your clit, if you weren’t holding on to him tight you would’ve collapsed into his chest. And by the way you moan his name out, he knows you’ll always look for him no matter the weather. “What a pretty girl,” he coos into your hair and you pinch his nipple in retaliation which only makes him groan in return. “My pretty girl.” He states before sinking himself deep into you again, sighing at the feeling of your hips circling over him. His rough hands guide them as you bounce up and down his length, moaning every time you rose and hissing when you came back down. 
He makes sure to keep this image engraved on his head forever. Your breasts bouncing over his face, your thighs working extra hard to keep up with his thrusts, and the way your sounds bounced off the walls of your bedroom. 
“You’re doing s-so good, baby.” Jungkook praises you, kneading your ass cheek. “Taking my cock s-so well,” he falls into a trance of admiring the way his length would appear and disappear inside of you, covered in a thick layer of your arousal. It makes him drill into you faster, sitting properly against the bed’s headboard as he takes your hips with force. He’s too turned on to keep treating you so delicately, and the way you moan and pant at the increase in speed only lets him know you enjoy him like this way more. “I-Is it good, baby? Am I-I fucking you well?” He asks in between rapid thrusts, your thighs had given out by then. 
You nod and a whimper escapes your lips, “Y-yes, Guk-Ah. S-so good, feels amazing.” Your praise is honest, the fucked out tone in your voice is a clear indicator of how well of a job he was doing. A minute longer and you’ll be right on cloud nine, never wanting to come back down. “Wanna cum Guk-Ah, plea—“ There’s no need for you to even finish your sentence because his thumb rubs your clit in figure eights, making you groan with the intensified feeling of his hips circling inside you deliciously. You can almost see the blinding white light ahead as Jungkook kisses you feverishly. You feel tears escape the corners of your high, the familiar feeling tickling inside you as Jungkook’s thrusts don’t let up. ‘‘Ah! Yes, yes, fuck,’’ you cry out once your orgasm hits. Jungkook holds you close to his chest, trying to soothe your shaking body with his arms. Your walls squeeze and relax continuously around him, it serves him as the impulse he needs to chase his own high. 
‘‘I love you, Jungkook,’’ you confess in between panting breaths, ‘‘so much.’’ 
His release shoots out and he groans, digging crescent moons into your hips. You hiss at the sensation, but giggle at how his eyes are screwed shut and brows still furrowed together, as if he was holding on to the last of his orgasm. In reality, Jungkook is just hoping that once he opens his eyes you’ll still be in his arms. Your fingers tilting his head to face you are very much real, he sees spots once he opens his eyes as they adjust to the room’s lighting. 
‘‘I love you too.’’ He says with a fixed gaze and you coo at how perfect this is.
You’re twenty-two when Jungkook’s finally yours.
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You’re both twenty-three and it’s another weekend spent at his apartment, he’s been playing for three hours now and you’ve given up on having him pay attention to you. Deciding to switch your plan around and join him instead, if only he would let you play.
‘‘Jungkook, you said it was going to be my turn five rounds ago!’’ You complain with a pout, crossing your arms across your chest. 
His gaze is still stuck on the T.V screen, ‘‘Baby, shhh, you’re gonna make me lose.’’ He mumbles as he tries to remain concentrated on the game in hand, but he can hear your humph’s from behind him, ‘‘Patience is a─’’
‘‘Virtue, yeah, who cares.’’ You interrupt him with a roll of your eyes, familiar with the saying a little too well. ‘‘Hope you remember that for later tonight,’’ you add in a mumble, but he doesn’t hear it because of the loud sounds coming from the game on the screen. 
‘‘What did you say, babe?’’ He asks with a raised brow, hitting the buttons of the controller with expert ease. 
‘‘I’ll call your mom and tell her you don’t wanna share.’’ You joke with a threatening voice, but Jungkook knows better than to take your words so lightly. He pauses the game and turns to look at you with an are you serious? expression on his face, you giggle as you’ve finally got what you wanted. 
He apologizes by covering your face with kisses, pleading for you not to tell on him with his mom. You promise not to do so this time, knowing that the woman was probably tired of having to scold his son at his big age. 
Plus, ever since Jungkook surprised you with the almost exact replica of the Valentine’s Day card you gave him all those year back, you’ve taken advantage to tease him even more knowing he’s at your beck and call. You always remind him that he came close because the stickers he used were not like the ones you had, but he remembered to add the hearts on the I’s so that’s good enough. 
‘‘Alright you can play, but━!’’ He says after he finishes his attack of kisses, ‘‘I’ll be your guide, I can’t risk you messing my record up, no offense baby.’’ None taken as you nod excitedly, you’ll always take whatever chance he gives you. 
Jungkook’s finally learned how to share his toys after all.
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20cm · 3 years ago
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WHY AM I ALWAYS SO NERVOUS DOING THIS BUT ✨ !!!! (i'm on desktop rn so i cannot link but you should be able to find it under 'gfx' in my bio or 'creative content' in my pinned!)
the fact that ur making me choose just 5 >:(!!!!!!!!
anyways 😤💕💕 u dont have to be nervous i literally love ur work to death <3!!! lets GO
0x1=lovesong netflix edit :: first ever set i saw from you<33 i saw this and was FLOORED .. the video w/ the instrumental version, the effort and details that went into the show info... literally i thought about this edit for days. i watched that video countless times like the execution was perfect.. i also remember going to your creations tag and like. seeing that it was the first post??? in the tag???? i almost passed out like HELLO u came into the game here so strongly right off the bat
LIP. KIT. :: gorgeous!!!!!!!!!!! beyond gorgeous like im sold right now i want it in my makeup bag i want it on my face. the names are so pretty + the photos are so summer sunset warm. im SO obsessed w/ how you do captions and the way you utilize color was SO strong throughout the whole thing <3 i need them to become the faces of a makeup brand rn :\
the fuckin ul:kin app ??? hello !!! :: get this on the appstore immediately!!!!!! hire woo fucking immediately!!!!! i swear if u dont have people knocking down ur door for your skills in design im going to be making complaint calls to ceos. this one really had ur editorial strengths w/ line and bold shapes come out to play like i LOVE how boldly you played w/ contrast and neutrals here.. truly lives in my head and is so professional
three words! weverse. magazine. spread. :: its so playful!!! and once again ur use of lines and contrast!!.. i love how you used the layering effect on the group photos and i LOVE their individual spreads ... its just so pretty and visually pleasing and i love the use of different colored text to emphasize parts.. and in the same vein using a handwritten to do the same is SO smart it really makes it a fun read <3 like. good for adhd havers (me <3)
lastly (and this one may surprise u but) your top songs of 2021 (so far) set! :: i think this is the set that made me follow you. i remember seeing this and just being so. SO so so fucking insane over you learning how to gif WITH THIS SET? LIKE........................................ WOO HELLO ?? im not joking when i saw this i was like . entranced by the records spinning + the shots you chose & ur taste. on top of the gfx at the top? i genuinely GENUINELY thought u were like An Established gifmaker w/ this like i was still easing myself into moablr + slowly following people when i saw this and i just. woo it made me nuts. please never think u cant gif i PROMISE u u can.
to be clear this is in no order and i'd include all ur sets if i could <3 mwah ilu hope ur having a good day <333
send me a ✨ and i'll list my 5 fave creations from you <3
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pringlesaremydivision · 3 years ago
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I posted 2,266 times in 2021
13 posts created (1%)
2253 posts reblogged (99%)
For every post I created, I reblogged 173.3 posts.
I added 1,557 tags in 2021
#this is so important - 813 posts
#thank u bby - 179 posts
#ace attorney - 101 posts
#fucking phenomenal - 85 posts
#fanart - 85 posts
#witchcraft - 83 posts
#i - 82 posts
#my actual aesthetic - 48 posts
#misa - 44 posts
#gpoy - 37 posts
Longest Tag: 108 characters
#technically i am the youngest of three but i have never met my half siblings bc i'm a horrible bastard child
My Top Posts in 2021
#5
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that's -
5 notes • Posted 2021-03-18 04:25:31 GMT
#4
thanks to @maryam0revna for tagging me on this; there was a whole mess of ppl's responses that I didn't want to reblog fjdjdk so I just made my own
Last song: 'tearing up my heart' by nsync that I was jamming to while making dinner.
Last movie: I hate movies, I have no attention span and I avoid them whenever possible... predator maybe? I think we watched that near the end of last year.
Currently watching: sjskdkd the hercules animated series bc it was a fave of my husband's when he was younger and it's a good mindless thing to watch before bed
Currently reading: sort of this book about randy roth, a serial wife killer, but it's not really keeping my attention... not the book's fault I don't think, I'm just not. whoo! not in an attention-having place.
Currently craving: an apple slice... I did not find any at the grocery store and I really want it, it's so sickly sweet
tagging everyone ilu I want to know about your lives
7 notes • Posted 2021-01-30 02:42:05 GMT
#3
...........do you want me to tell you?
*breathily* I mean, I'd like to learn
10 notes • Posted 2021-11-01 04:34:21 GMT
#2
fellas,
10 notes • Posted 2021-05-11 17:20:18 GMT
#1
I won't insert it, but I will control it
12 notes • Posted 2021-11-01 02:17:34 GMT
Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →
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targaryenfamilyorgy · 4 years ago
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30 Questions Ask Game
“Rules: Answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you are contractually obligated to know better”
Tagged by @thecosmicsleep
Tag: @somewillwin @twiddletaffy @lavellane @trvelyans @kura-marty and ppl who are always in my notes ilu @mrcloudyfun @vulpixelates @geek-o13 @dinosaurfucker and idk bc I’m 3 vodkas in and trying to finish this post(just the tagging part god could u imagine if I was 3 drinks tryin to do the whole thing)
Name/Nickname: Andy. My dad calls my lunchbox
Gender: Male???
Star sign: Aquamarine
Height: 5’3?
Time: 9:12 pm
Birthday: Feb 17
Favorite bands: Of Monsters and Men, Marina, Mitski, Mother Mother, Faouzia, Rina Sawayama, ABBA, Spice Girls
Favorite solo artists: wait what the fuck I don’t know who’s a band and who’s a solo bc I don’t pay attention and I refuse to pls do not try to tell me
Song stuck in my head: Róróró Of Monsters and Men
Last movie: Love and Monsters bc big frog and Dylan O’Brien is cute
Last show: uhhhhh Star Trek tng I think
When did I create this blog: I do not know 😌 and I will not check
What do I post: u know uhh
Last thing googled: ...Hawaii five o fanfic
Do I get asks: only one like every year u feel
Why I chose my url: bc I love Star Wars too much and I like jokes abt being sexy
Following: je ne comprend pas
Followers: 我不知道
Average hours of sleep: 7??
Lucky number: 3 and 7 bc they are my fav prime numbers and also in the Bible 3 and 7 are the good fucking numbers
Instruments: Violin 🤮
What am I wearing: pajama pants and a Superman shirt
Dream job: I take the Rosetta Stone and break it over someone’s head
Dream trip: I want to go to Ireland and see a bunch of sheep and cry
Last book read: Dune by Frank Herbert and then Dune and then Dune and then Dune and then Dune
Favorite food: BLTs
Nationally: American’t
Favorite song: Róróró Of Monsters and Men
Top three fictional universes I’d like to live in: Star Trek is maybe the only one I’d consider
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snowdice · 4 years ago
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i just binged the entire Kill Dear fic. i... i am at a loss for words. the worldbuilding! the characterization! badass logan! i love it so so so much!! the whole setting is quickly rising up the ranks of my favorite worlds, if you ever write more for this universe i will definitely read that, too. and janus! virgil! babies!! also i am a massive sucker for self-sacrifice and enemies-to-lovers so no surprise but gOSH DID U PULL IT OFF WELL. anyway ilu, can i sign over my soul to you or... ?
Thank you so much! I’m glad you liked the world! It was a lot of fun to make. :) You’re in luck about the writing other things in that universe as I’ve already written almost 5 chapters of the prequel about how Virgil met Logan and Patton. I was writing it during the editing process on my blog under the tag proofread stories. It was written in 100 word chunks and posted every time I finished a section of editing. I will be editing and posting what’s done in the next few days and will be continuing the story. :)
I do not accept souls at this time. Only chocolate which is... I mean... basically the same thing.
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steebharringt0n · 5 years ago
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Shadows of the Night | Vampire AU
dusk | night | dawn
Billy Hargrove doesn’t remember the last time he’s seen sunlight, or the last time he’s stepped inside a church. For over 500 years he’s been a vagabond, a wanderer, searching for a place to call home - until his travels land him in Hawkins, Indiana and his whole existence as he knows it is turned upside down.
pairing: billy hargrove x fem!reader rating: m (blood, a tint of smut, abuse, language)
A/N: WOW SORRY THIS TOOK FOREVER TO POST BUT THANK U FOR ALL THE RESPONSES AND FOR YOUR PATIENCE ILU ALL
Tagged: @killer-queen-xo @ephmrl-love @charmed-asylum @aillle8 @mattysheelies
Part 2 - Night
You were panicking.
Your foot was glued to the gas pedal, racing to beat the clock as time continued to dwindle by. You cursed the long and windy roads in Hawkins, they felt like they went on forever.
Stealthily and quickly, you managed to switch out of your heels and fishnet stockings while driving, it was a skill that was now second nature to you. Reaching behind you, you grabbed your converse, shoving one foot in at a time while you pulled over a large sweatshirt over you, effectively covering the skin tight dress you had on.
As soon as you pulled into your street, you made a sharp stop before your house. Grabbing the makeup wipes from your glove compartment, you hurriedly erased any evidence, wiping the ruby red lipstick off your lips, and the fake vampire bite off of your neck.
Incidentally, you also managed to wipe away the concealer that hid the dark purple marks around your neck.
You ran your hand through your hair, trying your best to smooth out the large curls that bounced with every shake of your head. When you felt presentable enough, you finally pulled into your driveway. Your eyes were glued to the front window where the faint glow of the TV was illuminating the living room floor.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck” you quietly muttered to yourself.
You threw your heels and fishnet stockings in the back of your car, grabbing your large purse that you had purposely placed there as well. Stepping out of your car, you composed yourself, trying hard to calm your frantic beating heart. With a deep inhale, you took the cautious steps up your porch, opening the front door and was greeted with the harsh scent of beer hitting your nose.
“D-dad? I-I’m home”
You tip-toed in the foyer, poking your head into the living room where you were met with the back of your father’s head, several beer cans were discarded around his feet.
You waited for a response, for anything, but were met with silence.
Silence was either a bad thing, or a good thing. You held your breath as you quietly walked over to him, your eyes shut as you pleaded to whatever gods above that he was passed out. When you finally reached him, you let out a sigh of relief.
He was knocked out, his mouth wide open with a half empty beer can in his hand.
You didn’t want him to spill the beer, so you gently reached over to his hand, trying your best to pull it out of his grasp but his other hand suddenly shot to your wrist, squeezing it tight. A yelp escaped from your mouth.
“You’re late” he slurred.
Your anxiety was through the roof, tears threatened to spill from your eyes. “I-I’m sorry Dad, Amber and I lost track of time at dinner, I promise it won’t happen again” you blubbered out, hoping that he’d believe your lie. He wasn’t easing up on his grip, but after a few seconds he threw your wrist back to you.
“Don’t let it fucking happen again” he hissed, taking a large chug.
You nodded quietly at him, your other hand gently rubbing where his painful grip was. You were sure to see marks on it tomorrow but you were an expert at covering up your bruises.
You soundlessly made your way upstairs, not wanting to rile him up any longer. You shut your bedroom door and rested your back behind it, sliding down and letting all the anxiety disseminate in that moment. You held your face in your hands, trying to remember to breathe through it all.
He wasn’t always like this. You have fond memories of a happy childhood, white picket fence and all. But out of the blue, your mother had up and left the both of you, claiming that this wasn’t the life for her. She had disappeared into thin air and you hated her for it.
It was then your father turned to drinking and started to blame you for everything. His problems at his job? Your fault. Your mother leaving the both of you? Your fault. His alcoholism? Your fault.
Everything in his eyes was your fault, you could do no right, even when you pulled the best grades in Hawkins.
You became his punching bag, his release for all his anger, his issues, and you had no escape.
You lifted your head back up and glanced up at the calendar that rested above your desk. November 7th had a large circle over it, it would be the day you turned 18 - it would be the day you finally could escape his wrath.
“Just one more week, just one more week and I’m outta here” you muttered to yourself.
You weren’t sure where to go, but you didn’t care. Since you were still 17 you weren’t legally allowed to leave the house yet. You graduated from Hawkins High with top marks but you decided to put university on pause - wanting to taste the world before you settled on school again. You had some money saved up from odd jobs here and there but you wanted to stay far away from the monster in the living room. He would effectively have no power over you and for the first time in your life, you felt like life wouldn’t be so bad.
You felt your phone buzzing, you pulled it out of your sweatshirt and swiped it open.
amber: hey u made it home ok?
y/n: yeah, i’m home thnx for checking up
Amber was your best friend, she had urged you multiple times to go talk to Hopper, but you knew it would just cause more issues than solve them. You were strong, you could withstand him for just one more week.
Your mind suddenly remembered the pale boy with the vampire costume. You quickly searched through your contacts until you found his name. Your thumb hovered over the texting symbol, debating on whether bringing a boy into your life would be worth it.
But something about him was … different … you couldn’t put your finger on it but he seemed off. He was incredibly gorgeous though, and you were surprised that he, out of all people in the party, paid any attention to you. Not to mention you had never seen the guy before, and everyone in Hawkins knew everyone.
“Fuck it” you said to yourself.
y/n: hey billy, it’s y/n from the party?
Instantly the text bubble appeared, you were surprised at how quickly he responded.
billy: hey gorgeous, sad to see you leave so early
What you didn’t know however, was that he was parked right across the street. His eyes were hyper-focused on your bedroom window. He was debating on whether scaling the tree or just watching you from afar. He knew it was a creep move but he didn’t care, he just wanted to make sure you were safe.
You let out a snort as you read his text.
y/n: ha, quite the charmer are you?
billy: i tend to charm the ladies here and there, what r u up to tonite?
y/n: bed, maybe watch some netflix, nothing too crazy.
billy: when can i see u again?
Billy was impatient, he had to catch a glimpse of you before the day broke again.
y/n: idk … we could hang tomorrow? maybe grab lunch?
An innocent lunch wouldn’t hurt you thought to yourself. What’s the harm in getting to know a cute boy?
Billy let out a huff, damn being a vampire.
billy: can’t, i’m busy all day and afternoon. maybe we can grab dinner if u want? i can pay ;)
You felt your heart start to race. Was he asking you out on a date? He hardly knew you.
y/n: r u asking me out on a date? lol
billy: if you want it to be
y/n: you hardly know me
billy: i can get to know you tomorrow night
A tiny smile appeared on your lips.
y/n: sure lol. pick me up tomorrow at 8. my address is 3843 willow lane. dont knock on my door just give me a text when youre here.
billy: sounds good, sweet dreams gorgeous ;)
You locked your phone and tossed it onto your bed. You stood back up, pulling off your sweatshirt and kicking off your converse. You unzipped your dress, letting it fall to the ground and pulled on a pair of cotton shorts and your Hawkins High sweatshirt.
You grabbed your laptop from your desk and walked over to your bed, pulling over the covers and settling yourself into the warmth of your comforter. You opened up your laptop and proceeded to open up Netflix to help you fall asleep.
Billy’s leg impatiently bounced up and down as he sat in his car. He watched as the light in your room turned off and as the light in the living room also turned off. He figured whoever was in the living room had also gone to bed, so he decided to make a move.
Moving stealthily and quickly, he ran over to your lawn, hoping that none of the neighbors would spot him. With his cat like reflexes he climbed up the tree outside of your room with ease, perching himself on a large branch that luckily extended out to your room.
His eyes scanned your bedroom, posters of different bands were hung up on your wall, a white desk sat in the corner, but his heart leapt when he finally landed on your sleeping figure. The soft glow of the laptop illuminated your face as you quietly slept through whatever TV show you were watching.
Even with your hair messily scattered on the pillow and your cheek pressed up against your arm you looked beautiful, breathtakingly gorgeous. His fingers were aching to touch you, even if just for a second.
“Oh fuck this”
His hands found themselves on the bottom of your window, he gently lifted it up, opening enough space for him to squeeze into your bedroom. With a soft thud, he landed into your room.  He waited a second to see if anyone or anything had been awakened by the noise, but luckily he was met with silence.
He walked over to your sleeping figure, he so badly wanted to crawl right beside you and hold you against his body but he fought strongly against it. He instead, sat right beside you, watching you as your chest rose and fell with every breath you took.
His fingers found themselves playing with the tendrils of your hair. He gently pulled back your hair to reveal your supple neck, but his eyes widened at what he saw instead.
Hot anger coursed through his body like poison. His eyes turned a dark red and his fangs promptly appeared. Billy was ready to attack, and your panicked demeanor at the party suddenly made sense to him.
His knuckles brushed up against the dark marks on your neck. The feeling of your skin on his hand sent shivers down his spine, it soothed his anger as it slowly dissipated out of him. He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to your cheek.
“I promise to get you out of here … if it’s the last thing I do” he whispered to you.
He felt you stir in your sleep, shifting around soundlessly. You cracked open your eyes as you felt a figure hover over you. You lifted your head up, looking around your bedroom.
But there was no one there, just the soft breeze of the wind rustling your posters in your bedroom.
You frowned, throwing your legs over your bed and walking to your window. You poked your head out, looking to see if anyone was out there, but you were met with the still of the night.
You shut your window close and threw yourself back into bed.
“Huh, must have been dreaming … “ you said to yourself as sleep quickly overtook you again.
You awoke the following morning with a stinging pain in your wrist. You lifted it up, inspecting the dull ache as the dark marks began to stain your skin. You let out an annoyed sigh, walking over to your bathroom and promptly starting a hot shower.
After washing your hair and scrubbing your skin, you then did your usual routine of concealing your bruises. You popped some Tylenol in hopes that it would soothe the ache in your wrist.
You waited to see if Billy would text you throughout the day, but you were disappointed to find that he didn’t. You didn’t let it deter you from the date you had planned with him tonight.
You stayed in your bedroom for most of Saturday, only heading downstairs to grab a bite to eat. Your father mostly ignored your presence as you did his.
As it was nearing 8, you went downstairs to the living room to find your father still glued to the couch with a beer in his hand.
“Dad?”
His eyes were glued to the TV. He acknowledged your presence by letting out a grunt.
“I’m gonna grab dinner with Amber tonight if that’s okay … “ your voice trailed off as you anxiously chewed the inside of your cheek.
He rolled his eyes towards you, they were glossy and bloodshot.
“Fine”
You nodded at him, uttering a thank you and walking back up stairs. As soon as you reached your bedroom, you began to plan your outfit, You figured jeans and a cute top would be good enough for tonight. You kept your makeup simple, some mascara and lipgloss, you weren’t necessarily trying to woo him tonight, just getting to know him.
It was only a date anyways.
At 8 on the dot your phone buzzed, you were trying to play it cool, but you were lying to yourself if you said you didn’t feel a little excited. You hadn’t been on a date in a long time, let alone with a gorgeous boy.
billy: hey beautiful, i’m outside
Grabbing a light jacket, you walked down the stairs, trying not to seem hurried in front of your dad.
“I’ll be back around 10 dad” you told him as you left. But yet again, you were met with silence. You were trying not to let anxiety gnaw at your stomach, you refused to let your dad ruin your date. So you quietly left your house and ran over to the blue car that was parked across the street.
Billy was lucky enough to find a close friend of Walt’s living in the next town over. He had texted Walt around 4 AM to see if he could spot anyone who could house him for the next couple of days. Victoria Marino - a sweet old vampire who had lived for almost as long as Walt was happy enough to have Billy stay over. It had been years since she had company, especially a vampire stay at her home.
“Walt told me everything” she told him. Billy towered over her, she was a frail little thing, but was sharp as hell. She gently grasped his shoulders, “You musn’t give up on love Billy, fight for her. Finding your Beloved is a powerful thing for us vampires, human or not”
He was more than happy to have someone on his side - even though he knew Walt was still vehemently against all of this.
You caught him standing outside his car, a pair of aviators rested against his nose, his mouth in a wide grin. His heart sped up as you approached him, he instinctively wished to scoop you up in his arms and place kisses all over you, hold you close until the dawn broke, but instead he controlled himself as you stood in front of him.
With a soft smile you greeted him, “Hi”
He returned the smile back, “Hey”
He promptly then walked over to the passenger side, opening the door for you, “Our reservation at Enzo’s awaits for us”
You raised your eyebrows, “Enzo’s? That’s pretty expensive, you didn’t have to go all out”
Billy shrugged, “It’s no big thing, it is the nicest place in town”
You stared at him for a brief second, wondering why on earth this guy you’d just met was pulling all the stops for you. With the slight shake of your head you let out a soft laugh and entered his car. You gazed around in awe at how nice his car was, everything looked brand new, it even still had that brand new smell.
“Holy shit you have a really nice car” you told him as he sat down in the driver’s seat.
“Ah, you should have seen my 78′ Camaro, that engine purred”
“Big car guy eh?”
A smirked donned on his lips, “Yeah, I guess you could say that”
The car ride to Enzo’s was filled with good music and Billy asking you 101 questions about yourself - which you didn’t mind, but you found it odd that whenever you asked about his family, he instantly changed the subject. Anything personal about him was very vague and very brief.
You didn’t want to admit to yourself that it raised warning bells in your head, you wanted to stay positive about the experience, hopeful that maybe this guy would be the one you’d spend the rest of your life with.
He was a gentleman the whole way there, letting you pick the music, not speaking over you, genuinely interested in everything you had to say. It was refreshing to say the least.
When the both of you arrived at Enzo’s he instantly ran out and over to your side, opening the door for you. He extended his hand for you to take and you took it, gently pulling you out of your seat.
He tossed his key to the valet parking, “Take care of her will ya buddy?” he patted the guy on his shoulder, handing him a 50 dollar bill.
fuck I think this guy is loaded you thought to yourself.
Billy wrapped his arm around you, the both of you walking step by step into the restaurant. The gesture made you feel all warm and tingly inside, for once in your life you actually felt safe around a male presence.
The two of you were quickly seated, Billy specifically asking for a private table.
“Of course Mr. Hargrove, please follow me” the host said.
With his arm still wrapped around your shoulder, you glanced up at him, “Billy, seriously, you didn’t have to go all out … you only just met me yesterday … “ you muttered to him.
He shook his head as he pulled your chair out for you, “No, please, this is nothing” he waved your comment off.
You sat down on the chair, watching as Billy came around and sat across from you.
The entire dinner went pleasantly well. Besides some things that made you raise your eyebrow (He told you he was deathly allergic to garlic, and he rarely ate his food, just picked around it). Billy was nothing but kind, warming and inviting to you. It helped that he was charming as hell, and by the time dinner finished, you could see yourself going on another date with him - which usually doesn’t happen.
The drive back to your house was filled with laughter and long talks. You both bonded over bands and artists you both love, about movies, about tv shows. You truly didn’t want the night to end. As he pulled up across the street from your house you hesitated on leaving, anxiety started to pool within your stomach, dreading to be back in the same house as that monster you called your father.
“This was an amazing night Billy, truly, the most fun I’ve had in such a long time” you told him.
He gave you a wide grin, shrugging casually, “Well what can I say?”
The both of you stared at each other in silence, your eyes moving down to his lips. Courage surged through you and you leaned towards him, your one hand placed on his cheek as you placed your lips on his. Billy was surprised to say the least, his blue eyes widened in shock as he felt your soft lips on his, but the shock quickly wore off as he melted into your touch. The warmth of your hand burned the cold of his cheek. You gently pulled away, nuzzling your nose onto his.
Breathlessly, he spoke, “Does this mean I get to see you again?”
You nodded, your thumb rubbing soft circles over the apple of his cheek, “Text me tonight?”
Instead of responding, he placed a chaste kiss on your lips. He wanted the feeling of your lips on his to last forever, and now that he knew he was open to kiss you, he never wanted to stop.
He watched as you got out of his car and made your way back into your house. Before you opened the front door however, you turned around, faced his car and gave him a small wave.
You shut the door quietly behind you, resting your body on it. You had a crush and it was bad. You were grinning like a fool in love and for the first time, in a very long time, things didn’t seem so bad.
You quietly then walked through the foyer until you reached the living room. The TV still on from earlier, and your dad still sitting in the same position. You poked your head in, “Hi dad, I’m back … it’s 9:45 … I’m early” you meekly announced to him.
He gave you no response as he continued to chug his beer. You took that as a good sign.
The minute you reached your bedroom, your phone started to buzz. Instantly you pulled it out of your pocket and smiled stupidly at the text.
billy: did u make it in okay?
y/n: yes im fine lol, i want to see you again … is tomorrow a possibility?
billy: hmm … idk … dinner was kinda boring … ;)
y/n: ha ha ha very funny
billy: of course we can meet up again tomorrow, id love to
y/n: great! i want to take you to the quarry, its amazing, u can see all the stars out there
billy: getting all romantical on me now?
y/n: hey you started this lol, besides a little romance with a cute guy never hurt anyone
billy: you calling me cute?
y/n: duh who else would i be referring to?
Your fingers had never been more glued to your phone. You spent all night texting Billy until you ended up passing out with your phone gripped in your hand. By the time you had passed out, Billy was already getting ready for bed. Victoria had been watching him the whole time as he sat in her living room couch, his fingers typing away furiously with every text he received. Billy swore he heard her mutter an ‘Oy, youths … ‘ at one point which made him chuckle.
It was almost noon by the time you had awakened, the sun beamed in brightly through your bedroom windows. You pulled your phone towards you to check the time but was surprised to see a text from Billy at 4:04 AM.
billy: sweet dreams beautiful girl … <3
The text sent butterflies swarming to your stomach, you threw a pillow over your face to cover up the shit-eating grin you were currently sporting, but a sudden loud banging from your door quickly dissolved all of those emotions.
“There’s no fucking food in the house! Make yourself useful for once and go shopping!”
Your father’s voice roared behind the door, instinctively you pulled the covers over your head, fearing that he was going to come in and hurl more insults at you. But when you heard his footsteps continue down the hall you let out a sigh of relief.
You then quickly got ready for the day, running out towards the local market and buying food for you and your father - not that you ate most of the time at home, you were always feeling too nervous or anxious to eat at home. So you always made excuses to meet up with friends to grab lunch or dinner at a cafe or restaurant nearby.
You were hoping to hear back from Billy throughout the day, but just like the day before he was silent, not a call or text from him. You tried not to let it get to you, you distracted yourself by cleaning up around your room, or watching a show on Netflix, but by the time the sun had started to set you finally received a text from him.
billy: hey beautiful, im on the way
Billy too had fallen asleep in his coffin with his phone glued to his hand. You were the first thing on his mind the instant he awoke - already forming plans for the two of you.
Victoria was kind enough to always lay a full glass of blood for him every morning. The last thing she needed was a love-struck vampire to go into blood-lust mode, there’s no way a vampire can control their actions when going into that head space. They become vicious, relentless and absolutely terrifying. It has happened to Billy only once before and if it wasn’t for Walt being around he was pretty sure that Billy would have slaughtered more humans than intended.
You swiped your phone to unlock it, fingers working quickly as you texted him back,
y/n: c ya soon ;)
You held your phone close to your chest when you realized that you were nowhere ready to go out looking the way you did. You threw your phone on your bed, quickly hopping into the shower and prepping your face. You kept your outfit casual again, with a pair of high-rise jeans, black boots and a cute sweater.
When you heard your phone buzzing, signaling that Billy was outside, you realized one important detail - telling your father that you’d be going out.
There was no way you were going to miss hanging out with Billy, but you knew that if you were to tell your drunk of a father that you were heading out without notifying him earlier, that there was no way that he’d let you out. You glanced over at your window, it was the only option left.
You opened up your window, poking your head outside. Billy watched you with curious eyes from his car as you shimmied out of your bedroom window, reaching towards the large branch from the tree outside your room. Once you were safely perched on the branch, you were able to quickly scale down the large oak tree. You landed softly on the grass, taking in your surroundings before making a mad dash to the car parked across the street.
Billy unlocked his car as you flung open the passenger side door, quickly sitting down and pulling the seat belt over you.
Billy wasn’t stupid - he knew exactly what was going on since he saw the dark marks on your neck. Everything started to make sense to him, your punctuality, the fact he wasn’t allowed near your house. He’d even caught wind of your anxious ticks, the way you bounced your leg restlessly at dinner last night, or how you’d constantly be glancing at the time on your phone.
He didn’t want to pry, it was a delicate subject to touch upon. He just wanted you to be safe - and he only had less than a week to convince you to come with him to New York.
Billy played it stupid to keep you comfortable.
“Sneaking out today are we?” he smirked as he pulled out of your neighborhood.
You let out a nervous laugh, rubbing your neck, “Y-yeah, you know how parents can be”
Billy wouldn’t know, he hasn’t seen his in over 500 years and Walt always let him do whatever he wanted, just as long as he played it safe.
“So, where is this quarry that you speak of?” he asked, pulling up his phone and opening up Google maps.
“No need for GPS, I can guide you there, just take a left at this upcoming road, then keep going straight until you reach Richland Road, then it’s just a straight shot from there on out. You can’t miss it, trust me”
He nodded at your words, pulling out of the neighborhood and following your guidance until he reached the infamous quarry - and you were right, it was the perfect place to see stars.
You eagerly stepped out of his car, your eyes gazing up to the dark sky that was illuminated by thousands if not hundreds of bright speckles.
In all of his 500 years of living, Billy had never seen such a thing. Sure he’d been all around the world, but he had never seen the sky lit up so bright until tonight. He followed you, stepping out of his car, his eyes glued to the sky. 
“Shit, you weren’t kidding ... “ he muttered to you.
“Yeah ... I’m gonna miss it” you spoke wistfully.
His eyes shot back down to you, his lips puckered into a frown. “What do you mean?”
You broke out of your gaze, not realizing what you had just said. A half smile formed on your lips as you tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. You rested against the trunk of his car, “I’m uh, leaving Hawkins, in about 5 days ... I’m turning 18 and I’m leaving”
There was a sense of hesitation in your voice, Billy heard it loud and clear. But the fact that you were planning on leaving right when he was supposed to head back to New York ... it was as if fate was working it’s magic. His heart wanted to leap with joy, but he played it cool, calm and collected. He joined you by the trunk of his car, resting his body against it as well.
“Where you heading to?”
You shrugged, “Don’t know, haven’t figured it out”
Billy nodded, still trying to play it cool. “You know, I have a place in New York”
You turned to face him, “Oh yeah?” There was a pregnant pause, “You propositioning me?” a slight smile spread over your lips, your tone turned playful as he blushed.
Billy shifted his feet, feeling the gravel dig underneath his shoes. “I - I ... you know, if you’re looking for a place ... I have a place you know? And New York is pretty cool, I could show you around ... if you want of course!”
You wanted to laugh at his bashfulness, how quickly he was able to go from Mr. Charming Man to a blubbering mess within 10 minutes. You leaned over to him, resting your head on his shoulder. Billy instantly froze the moment he felt your body heat on his. and became more of a statue when your fingers found his - linking them for warmth, but you frowned, squeezing his hand tightly.
“You’re so cold ... “ you commented.
You glanced down at the linked hands, and suddenly came the realization just how pale Billy actually was compared to you. You quickly brushed it off, continuing your gaze to the night sky above.
“Maybe you can join me in California ... get some sun in you eh?” you gently jabbed his side with your elbow as he let out a chuckle.
“I’ve thought about moving to California ... “ he paused as he lets his thoughts meander around his head. California was definitely on his list for places to live, but he couldn’t help but feel bitter at the fact that he couldn’t fully enjoy it. He wanted to learn how to surf so bad, to enjoy the beaches, to hang out by the boardwalk.
But he couldn’t do that without his Beloved by his side.
Your voice broke his thoughts, “Why didn’t you?”
He lets out a large breath through his nose. Sometimes he truly hated being a vampire. “Oh you know, life brought me to New York instead. Maybe one day”
You nodded slowly at his response. Silence then took over the conversation, the both of you just relishing in each other presence. You didn’t want to admit it, but a small part of you was falling for him - and falling hard. A constant battle between your heart and head was currently taking place, and your heart was in the lead.
You’re not sure why, but you felt a sense of peacefulness wash over you whenever you were with him.
But something - call it the universe, call it your gut, call it intuition, - was telling you to stay with him.
“Maybe New York would be good for me ... “ you suddenly spoke.
He glanced down at you, his mouth in a grin so wide you swore you saw all his pearly whites. “Oh yeah?”
“Give me more time to think about it okay?”
He squeezed your small hand. It burned the coldness of his skin but he was far too in love to care. He leaned his head over yours, placing a kiss on your hair.
“Take your time. I’ll be here”
And he was. The two of you were completely attached at the hip the rest of the week, texting each other nonstop, sneaking out to hang with him every night. At this point your father’s drinking has become more rampant, he’d be passed out completely by 7 PM, which gave you a sense of security whenever you sneaked out of the house.
The more you hung out with the blue-eyed blonde, the harder you were beginning to fall for him. Billy was a complete dork in his comfortable nature, you two would blast out cheesy pop songs and sing them at the top of your lungs. Or sneak into a late night movie where he would toss popcorn at your hair every now and then to get your attention. You wondered why he was never available in the morning or afternoon - but when you brought the subject up he would just casually brush it off, explaining that he had work to take care of.
Billy on the other hand, was completely enamored with you. He was sure that the universe did the right thing and made you his soulmate because there was no way in hell he was ever leaving your side - and he was desperately hoping you felt the same way.
Of course things between the two of you got physical. If you both weren’t out doing something, you’d both be out at the quarry, usually in his backseat with his hands underneath your shirt and your fingers tangled in his short curls. He didn’t want to pressure you to go all the way - that would come when it came - but my god was he finding it harder to control himself around you. 
It was November 6th - a day left - when the both of you were fooling around in the backseat of his car. Your thighs wrapped around his waist as your hands found purchase on his face. His lips were everywhere - he could feel your pulse race, your blood run, with every breath you took and it was taking everything in his power not to sink his fangs on your tender neck right there and then.
You pulled away from his lips, gazing into his eyes as you rested your forehead on his. 
“I’m coming with you. To New York” 
Your announcement almost made his heart stop. He gently pulled away from you, an incredulous look on his face, “A-are you serious?”
You bit your bottom lip to keep you from exploding from excitement, but you nodded happily at him. “Yeah, I’ve never been more sure before in my life.”
“Shit. Y/N. We have to celebrate!” He exclaimed. You swore you had never seen a man so happy before. You giggled at how boyishly happy he suddenly turned.
“Slow down there Casanova ... I still need to pack, get all my things together”
“Right, right, yeah, of course” he ran his fingers through his hair, trying to let the news sink into him.
His plan actually worked. He couldn’t wait to tell Victoria and to show boat to Walt.
You gently ran your fingers through his hair as it got quiet in the car. Your eyes filled with love as you gazed down on him. The moon was full tonight, and the bright light that it emitted shone through the car - illuminating Billy. He seemed much more paler than the last several days, and you were starting to wonder if he needed go to see a doctor.
“What?” he questioned urgently, “Do I have something on my face?”
His hands quickly shot up to his face, touching around. You giggled, shaking your head.
“No, you just look really pretty under the moonlight”
A smile spread upon his lips. His hands then reached up to your cheeks, stroking them softly.
“You’re beautiful Y/N. I hope you know that”
You let out a small laugh, “Billy, you tell me that all the time”
“I know but just in case you ever forgot ... “
You shut him up by pressing your lips onto his. He instead found it hilarious to drop his hands from your cheeks, and to squeeze your sides. You pulled away from him as laughter erupted from your mouth, throwing your head back and trying to wiggle away from his grasp. The effort came to be fruitless as you were caught between his body and the back of the passenger seat.
His actions finally stopped, letting you take a moment to catch your breath. He marveled at the way your cheeks glowed a rosy red, and how your eyes twinkled brightly under the moonlight.
You glanced over at the clock on his car, your eyes widened at the time.
“Shit. It’s late. I need to get back”
You pushed yourself off of him, adjusting your shirt and straightening your hair back down. The both of you stepped out of his car to move back up to the front. The entire way back Billy was animatedly talking about all the places he’d take you in New York - but in reality his mind was reeling, wondering how he was ever going to explain to you what he truly was - and if you were to ever accept him.
It was a risk he was going to have to take, and a risk that he was willing to die for.
He pulled up near your house, remembering your strict instructions to never pull up in front of your house.
“I’ll pick you up as soon as the sun sets okay? I’ll be finished with work by then, and we can make it a night trip” he told you.
You nodded happily at him, leaning towards him and pressing a kiss on his cheek. “I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep tonight ... I’m too excited”
“Happy early Birthday Y/N. I promise tomorrow will be a day you’ll never forget”
He grabbed your hand, bringing it up to his lips and pressing a kiss. You in return squeezed his hand before you exited out of his car and headed towards your house.
There was an extra hop in your step as you approached your front door, quietly unlocking it with your key. You entered your foyer, your head turning to face the living room, fully expecting to see your father passed out.
But he wasn’t there.
Fear ran it’s cool claws down your neck as panic began to set in. You ran into the kitchen, hoping to see him rummaging in the fridge for another beer. But he wasn’t there either.
You quickly ran up the stairs and ran straight into your room. You swore you had never felt such a sense of fear enter your body than when you saw your father sitting on your bed, his face completely stoic, his eyes blurry and red.
“D-Dad - “
“You little whore”
It was as if venom was pouring out of his mouth whenever he spoke. His eyes darted over to you as his mouth turned into a nasty snarl. He slowly stood up, walking over to you with his fists clenched by his side.
You began to hyperventilate as he towered over you. Your eyes filled with tears as you avoided his death glare.
His hands shot up and grabbed you by the collar of your shirt, pining you to your bedroom door as you yelped in pain.
“You think I’m fucking stupid huh? You think I haven’t seen you sneaking out for the past couple of days like some fucking slut?!”
You quietly sobbed, squeezing your eyes shut as he pinned you harder to the door.
“Answer me!”
He pulled you up, you felt your feet leave the ground as he threw you across your bedroom. Your body landed with a loud thud, spraining your wrist in the process. You let out a loud and painful wail, he watched you with a sick grin on his face as your body was wrecked with sobs.
Shakily, you reached for towards your pocket, pulling out your phone. Your fingers worked nimbly as you found Billy’s name through your texts. You hit the call button and slid your phone under the bed before your father could come and snatch it from you.
You tried pulling yourself up, but pain shot through you as you applied pressure on your wrist, bringing you back down to the floor. Your father stalked over your body as you desperately tried to crawl away from him.
Billy was stopped at a red light when he saw his phone light up with your name on it. With a soft smile, he picked up the phone, “Hey gorgeous miss me - “
“Billy! Help!”
His blood ran cold at the horrific sound of your voice.
“Y/N?”
He heard a loud thud, then followed by an ear-shattering scream. Without even thinking, he pulled a U-turn at the light, his foot pressing hard onto the gas pedal as he was reaching speeds of 90 MPH to reach your house in time. His eyes were turning a dark red, his fangs were fully visible.
There was no stopping in him getting him to you. He would slaughter anyone who would stand in his way.
He stopped his car in front of your house and darted out his car door. He was moving so fast it was as if a wind breeze was passing by. Using his shoulder he broke down the front door and ran up the stairs to your bedroom where he was met with a gut-wrenching scene.
Your father was on his knees, tears pooling out of his eyes as he sobbed over your unconscious body. Your body was splayed out on your bedroom floor, blood trickling down your nose and out of the corner of your head. Your father was too drunk to even realize that Billy had walked into the bedroom, but before he could even glance up Billy had thrown himself on him - pinning him down the floor.
“What the fuck did you do?!” Billy roared at him.
Your father continued to cry as Billy’s fingers squeezed his neck, cutting off his air circulation.
“I - I ... “
But before he could formulate a sentence, Billy had already sunken his fangs into him.
Your father screamed as Billy drained him from all the blood of his body. Leaving the man as a hollow shell, pale and empty. Billy pulled away from him, his body relishing the taste of human blood. He licked his lips, not wanting to drop a single taste a blood from the feeding.
After he was sure he drank all that he could. He ran over to your body, gently lifting your head onto his lap.
“No, no, no, no, Y/N, wake up, please wake up ... “
He put two fingers on your neck, trying to find any indication that you were still alive. He faintly felt a pulse - but he knew that your father had done too much damage.
He had failed you - he had failed to keep his promise.
He let out a whimpering sob, holding your limp body into his arms. Billy knew he could save you, but would you ever forgive him?
He had to make a decision - and quick.
So he scooped you into his arms, bringing your neck to his mouth.
“I’m sorry Y/N ... please forgive me”
He sunk his fangs into your neck and prayed that you would survive the next 24 hours.
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binnieseason · 6 years ago
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hello!! so a few days ago i reached another milestone which is,, p crazy!! i’m v thankful for everyone who has like,, just?? taken time out to interact or look at my content. it means a lot n reading peoples’ tags on my posts is just so!! lovely bc everyone is so nice n sweet n i rlly appreciate it!! so thank u for making me feel special n for validating me i hope u all know that i love u all n u have made me v happy n i can’t believe that 2k+ people want to?? see stuff i post?? what?? anyway!! i hope i didn’t leave anyone out but i’ve tagged my mutuals n bolded some who i’m gonna leave a special message for at the end!! look for the emoji i put at the end of ur tag for ur message 💕✨once again, thank u to anyone and everyone who has ever looked at my dumb blog or said smth nice or has sent me sweet asks. i truly appreciate it so much and i hope u all know i love u 💓💫
#-c
@01mino @19gf @1hyunlix @3noracha @3rachaz @97kwj @abangchan @abcdskz 🌹@banqchanz @binsual 🍊@blushyunjins 🌻@chanbffie @chang-bean @changbeanie @changbinn @popechangbin 🌿@changbln 🦋@changlixie @chanjisung @channie @cheelix 🐳 @cheetomin @chiddie @chimneycloud ☂️@chrsbng  d-l
@dayy6 @douxminho @geminijimini @gotosleepchris @han-and-kai @hanones @hcnlix @hjsracha @honeylixs @hoodiehan @huiracha @hyucafe 💕 @hyuwujin @jal-hago-isseo ❣️ @jeonginsdimple @jinlix 🧡 @jinnielovebot @jisquish @jisung1e 🌼@jisungeth @jjaebeom @joengins @jypstraykids ☘️ @kim-woojins @kkamist @leefelixz @leeknows @lixseu @lovwheel @luvknow @lxx-fxlix 
m-y
@minhoie @minhostrology @minkiwans @naegahoshsvt  💙@pillix @prodskz @risingsan @seungmies @seungminsmile @seungmqn @shortminho @skzbc @skzd @spearbe @spearones @stray--kings @stray-kids @stray-moon @straykids01 @straymemes @thegoodkindoftrash @theminho 💜@thiscaratwillstay @threeracha @ult-minho @ultscb 🌸@uwulix @wlwleefelix @yngbok 🌹; lyka!! bub,, u have no idea how much i love n appreciate u. u have been so lovely to me always n i’m sending u so many hugs bc u deserve them all. ur gifs are always gorgeous n ur tags are the cutest n i love you lots n hope u know how much i appreciate u and ur presence in my life n in this fandom 💌❣️ 🍊; ana!! u are the SWEETEST n idk what i did to deserve u giving me lov n stuff :(( i love u lots n i’m always wishing u the best bc u deserve nothing but love n happiness. ilu ✨ 🌻; lea!! hi hello thank u for always supporting me when i decide to make another sideblog sdjkjsfjk (even tho u should be discouraging it fsdjkfdjk). ur rlly the sweetest n i really appreciate everything u bring to my dash n this fandom ilu!!  🌿; bella!! u were one of my first pals on this site and i’m so appreciative of u. ur lovely and ur so funny n kind n i hope u know how special u are and how much u lighten up my dash 💖💫love u!! 🦋; amy!! first of all ur so funny and cool and i’m INTIMIDATED by cool u are. u do ur own thing n i think that’s amazing!! plus,, i’ll never forget the time where u rb’d my changbin gif everyday FSJKFDJK. i love u so much and i really hope u know how wonderful and appreciated u are bb. plus ur a leo n that’s the most valid sign so there’s that 😔👊🏻n/e way ilu 💞 🐳; cheese!! my bal!! i love u so much u superb little dude,,, even tho u clown me for my accent :// ur literally the FUNNIEST. u have made me laugh so hard so many times i can’t believe that u really be that hilarious???? will NEVER forget that photo u sent that broke me. love u so much u funky cheese kid 😔💘 ☂️; kashi!! did u know that u are the loveliest person 2 exist?? n that ur writing is so gorgeous n i’m so envious that u can just,,, write stuff that is so!! stunning?? n u are my #1 hypewoman so it’s time for me to hype u up: ur so talented n sweet n amazing n everytime u send me cute asks it instantly makes me feel!! the best!! u are such a lovely presence and deserve the whole world and more. love u bub 🤧💓
💕; jan!!!! my bal,,,, my personal clown,,,, the biggest hyuck enthusiast,,,, i love u so much. ur SO funny n real and i love that. also u send the bals lots of memes so i appreciate that thank u sm. ur really the funniest ilysm thank u for being my bal 🤧❣️ ❣️; ellie!! hello hello i know we haven’t interacted a lot but i hope u know that i rlly lov seeing u in my notifs n we are all lucky to have such a sweetheart in the fandom 🤧lov u !! 💕 🧡; kelly!! i need u to know that ur SO SWEET N CUTE. like,, what is it like being that lovely n kind n wonderful?? plus!! ur a bundle of talent and when u deny it i am ready to fight u on it okay. ur talented n sweet and i don’t deserve u 🤧💞ilu!! 🌼; lulu!! hi hi i think ur rlly cool n funny n i love seeing u on my dash!! plus,, ur a fellow aussie which instantly makes u my pal okay okay. i know we haven’t interacted much but i jus,, wanna tell u that i appreciate u n think ur wonderful 💫lov u!! ☘️; vale!! did u know i love u to bits and think u are mega talented n sweet?? like ur gifs are gorgeous and ur SO talented u gotta trust me. and ur always so supportive of me and my content and ur tags are always ????? so sweet wtf???? n/e way ur so special n talented and i want u know that ur so lovely n wonderful and u deserve ALL the happiness and love. lov u, u talented little bub 😔❣️ 💙; rick!! suck my ass!! jk lov u and i said i would include u so here u go baby boy. tell aki and ur new cat,, big chungus,, that i love them. love u sweet prince 😔🤙🏻 💜; bub!! hello!! i wanna tell u that ur amazing n that ur gifs are amazing and that u are wonderful n so sweet. ur tags are always so cute dsjkkj and i really appreciate all the nice stuff u say abt my gifs n stuff. please keep doing what ur doing bc ur content is gorgeous and ur lovely 💖 lov u!! 🌸; taryn!! i NEED u to know that ur colouring saved me. like,,,, whenever i see ur gifs i’m just!! in awe. how do u do that!! bls,,, how are they all stunning. but yes yes ik our interactions are v few,, but i really love ur presence on my dash n ur so talented and nice and funny and i want u know that ily 💌🌹 okay okay ik this is long,, thank u everyone i’m truly so appreciative :(( 💓
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dxmagedrose · 5 years ago
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GET TO KNOW THE BLOGGER!
Tagged by: my lover @hammurabicomplex​ I’m tagging: anyone and everyone who wants to pick this one up! share with the class if you feel like it! tag me in it!!
PRESENTING. RANDOM DEEP DIVE WITH INDIGO-MUN AT 2AM ;
FIRST NAME Good fucking question… It’s (sort-of) currently Dylann! I was Kieran before that, though; it’s still used as one of my first names and I’m not used to Dylann quite yet bc I’ve just started using it. 
Indigo is one of my middle names though, and I’ve used it as an online handle elsewhere forever so I use it here now!  [ Fun etymology facts: Dylan(n) is a mythology name generally meaning “born of the wave” (aspiring diver & a water witch at heart). Kieran means “little dark one” bc of my love for horror, && I chose Indigo bc as a kid to be it was neither boy (blue) or purple (girl) and was both and neither as well as my absolute favorite color as this vibrant ass mystical color. ]
STRANGE FACT ABOUT YOURSELF hmmmmm…. I’m a horror lover at heart, so as a child (I wanna say 12), I was walking through an antique store (I have a few cool finds, I considered putting my other one as the fact tbh) and I turned the corner and I saw these two dolls staring back at me at the foot of the stairs of this antique building. my blood froze, and i felt my stomach drop. i got actual, physical goosebumps stumbling across these two creepy dolls staring back at me in the corner, and i couldn’t leave the store without them. perhaps the little painted porcelain boy would be somewhat spooky by himself if it wasn’t for the terrifying lidded gaze of the porcelain girl with the hairline fractures and slightly open lips. i cant look at her. i dont really find dolls scary, I like to find the spookier ones ones, and she makes me paranoid as hell. i keep her face covered and her up in my closet except for when i bring her out to show her off proudly as the spookiest thing I have but……. i dont really collect dolls anymore.  even thinking about her brings a fearful tear to my eye.  i don’t like to think about her for very long, but that’s why I’m so fucking proud to own her. ( YES — I’m THAT white person in the horror film )
TOP THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE ON A PERSON hhhhh a beardy jawline, high cheekbones, crooked canine teeth >:3c
A FOOD YOU COULD EAT FOREVER AND NOT GET BORED OF b.l.t.’s with avocado. ahhhh. my mouth is watering just thinking about it, oh my god. just a bit of salt and pepper???
A FOOD YOU HATE barbecue anything, i hate the taste of bbq sauce, you keep your nasty black goo to yourselves at the grill. twice in my life i have presented with barbecue pizza and both times i cried literal tears. why would you do such a horrible thing to a person? what kind of a monster are you? how do you sleep at night?!
GUILTY PLEASURE the sims. constantly. always. i’ve sunk thousands of hours into my households. oh also uhhhhhh i run two 80s horror blogs, one being a shitpost blog with occasional art of mine and one gremlin fanfic ship blog for horrible, terrible self indulgent fanfics i’ll get the courage to finish writing & post so i can be cancelled on tumblr for at some point. NO, i won’t link them. as i pretend they’re even all that hard to find, within a day i was found on both by someone i admire here a lot :’) ilu bby thnk u eternally for supporting ur local horrifying dumbass wtf
WHAT DO YOU SLEEP IN the same clothes i’ve been wearing all day usually, my sweats & long sleeve raglans or my hoodies. i like being cozy day & and out. and ugh. efoort. just throw me in a blanket in a cool room and im out.
SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS OR FLINGS serious relationships with some openness or poly. i wish i could fling! just not exactly easy for demisexual autistics lmao.
IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN THE PAST AND CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOUR LIFE, WOULD YOU AND WHAT WOULD IT BE I think I would be adopted by my grandma as a kid. It would save me some trauma but mostly I think it would get my autism diagnosed way earlier and save me angsting all these years of wondering why & thinking it’s my fault I’m struggling so much and so loud and affectionate and different in a world that i didnt fit in the same way. 
ARE YOU AN AFFECTIONATE PERSON when i get drunk i text people how much they mean to me in my life. does that answer your question? ahhh. i’m sometimes a cuddle monster with friends, i message people with long texts about how much they mean to me, but I sometimes really don’t like to be touched at all. 
A MOVIE YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN FLYPAPER.  F L Y P A P E R.  FLYPAPER.  FLY, and, I can’t stress this enough, fucking PAPER. ( Though also Whole Nine Yards and both Re-Animator & Bride ). I have watched Flypaper already like, 5 times this week and I’m still not done, and the other movies have been on repeat for days in this household within the last year. In the past it has also been Donnie Darko & the new Nightmare on Elm Street.  roast me.
FAVORITE BOOK White Fang by Jack London. Have I actually ever finished it? No. Do I still own a copy I’ve had since childhood thru multiple dogs eating it, taking it to and from school, and highlighting and circling all the best parts of chapter one ever since I was a kid and it was too hard of a book for me to read? You bet your ass. If I ever need inspiration I just reread chapter 1. Although one of my other favorites was Broken Monsters by Lauren Beukes. But White Fang is like, a weirdly personal text. We stan London’s writing in this household.
YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO KEEP ANY ANIMAL AS A PET, WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE FENNEC FOX!! I used to daydream about having my own named Shiloh when I was a lil kid. they’re adorable little things and i am obsessed. i mean, gimme any fox and im happy, marble foxes, red foxes… but I was obsessed with fennec foxes. Also tbh ferrets. I want a ferret.
TOP FIVE FICTIONAL SHIPS [IF YOU ARE AN RP BLOG, YOU CAN USE YOUR OWN SHIPS AS WELL] Rosa & @ninetyscnds‘s Luke, Rosa & @iimpulsivity is already screaming my name, Rosa & Constantine, Jesse & Andrea from Breaking Bad, and the joker and harley of 80s sci-fi Dan & Herbert from Re-Ani.  I am but a simple opossum. 
PIE OR CAKE Pie! I’ll take both pumpkin & melty apple over cake. also, cheesecake is more pie than cake soooo, pie wins.
FAVORITE SCENT my dogs / my blanket. :’)  It’s the most grounding smell in the world. 
CELEBRITY CRUSH oliver jackson-cohen, i’m fucking GAY and im angry about it. there i was, minding my own business, and i saw that asshole in a certain SHIRTLESS GIF and it AWOKE SOMETHING IN ME. dont talk to me about it, holy shit im obsessed with beardy men now god fuckkdafjaask i hate him why did he make me this gay i was perfectly fine being into girls but NOOOOOO him and his dumb hairy chest and sweet rugged face and I——  I also am obsessed with the archaeologist & television personality Josh Gates and may or may not be considering making a fan blog for him bc idk if my anthropology docuseries host is Dad or Daddy but i love him lots
IF YOU COULD TRAVEL ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU GO I would go on a dive with anthropologists and archaeologists doing fieldwork research in the ancient cenotes of the Yucatán Peninsula. My actual dream job, catch me crying & fantasizing about being underwater documenting Mayan skulls given as offerings. Fuckkkk, I love anthropology so much!!  take me anywhere in the world to immerse myself into culture & archaeology.
INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT Introvert. I have a real life friend I see roughly once a month, and that’s it. Plenty of online relationships, I’m chatty, message me all day every day. but i dont do people well.
DO YOU SCARE EASILY I used to! Really bad. I don’t as much anymore. I do get paranoia a lot still. Having therapists telling you that the FBI could be outside your house watching you through your windows will kind of nervous. ( no google results for: yes hello fbi i am a writer please dont put me on watchlists i just have research i need to do for this idea im working on, would you like to try again? ) I have nightmares nightly but not they never make me afraid, they just make me feel like crap. jumpscares and loud noises and seeing people reaching into their pockets dont set off as many brain alarms anymore tho!! progress haha.
IPHONE OR ANDROID I like my android better bc of capabilities but meh
DO YOU PLAY ANY VIDEO GAMES My mom, her husband & I play COD for family game night, and Silent Hill is my life’s blood. I’ve sunken hours into Sims & Skyrim, and Norman Jayden from Heavy Rain is my #1 fictional character in existence, why do i love the druggie babies
DREAM JOB Oh… You’re asking me to pick? I’d love to be an anthropologist doing work out in the field. Underwater archaeology is peak, but I’m also heavily considering being a body recovery diver or police diver. I’d love to see myself in uniform someday, if possible. Just the thought makes me teary eyed & proud.
WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH A MILLION DOLLARS fund my person creative & educational endeavors. get myself a spooky ass abandoned house to make my own home to create in, and travel to the world’s best dive sites. just live a mild life of education, creation & exploration. that’s the dream TM.
FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOU HATE dr. hill is a gross and whiny lil bitch this post brought to u by the miskatonic crew, how is everyone here an even worse bad guy than herbert west precious dan excluded talk shit get hit tho john winchester from spn and both walter white & todd from breaking bad are all in my crew of hated characters. i jusT…   the reani novel is difficult to read because i have to deal with this old sack of shit.
FANDOM THAT YOU WERE ONCE A PART OF BUT AREN’T ANY LONGER Supernatural :-)
… AND THIS CONCLUDES A DEEP DIVE WITH INDIGO!! //
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geminimoonbeamx · 5 years ago
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Ok listen I came here to rave about Of All The Things Unsaid because it broke my heart and also took me deep into my own feelings and was just overall so well written and it was so interesting to see you change things up with your style a bit UGH!! But then I saw that a-z ask and I NEED to know the full a-z from you on Bucky Barnes 👻💕 PS ...... can I be added to your tag list ?? I’m on here at super freak times and I feel like I always miss out on your posts! Keep being amazing ilu 💕
Thank you so much boo💖 I’m so happy you liked my depression manifested in OATLU😂! And okay so why was Bucky A-Z so hard? His sensuality was difficult to peg but I hope I did it justice!
Bucky Barnes sexy A-Z
A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)
Bucky Barnes is one needy man after sex- especially after the rough passionate fucking you usaully receive from him after long missions or emotionally grueling days. He’s grabby and literally octopuses his large body around yours
B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
Bucky’s favorite body part of his is his flesh and blood arm- he knows its a shitty internalized hatred thing but he still wishes he was on that little farm in Wakanda, he'd gotten pretty good at doing everything one handed.
Bucky loves your middle, loves your soft plush tummy and your waist. Would have his arms wrapped around your middle for the rest of hs life if he could
C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)
Bucky loves coming on your ass when he fucks you doggy, he loves how it rolls and drips off of your round cheeks.
D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Bucky loves toys. He loves to put you in vibrating panties and take ou to important dinners.
E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)
Bucky has been around the block- lets be real. Back in the 40’s he had a new dame every weekend(sometimes more then one). He even got ass during the war. But since he got out of Cyro you're the first person he’s even kissed
F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)
Doggy. 100%- he loves your plump ass. But he also likes holding you and fucking you againts walls, just because of your reaction to it, you never thought a man would be able too pick you up.
G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)
Bucky’s actually a funny fuck and genuinely gets joy from intimacy with you. He’s made you laugh while making you cum and that's one hell of an experience.
H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)
He went AU natural for a long time and that man had a BUSH. He trims for you, keeps it nice and tidy. Its still dark and prominent though. You love it.
I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)
He was really awkward about it, it felt weird to let himself get to that place. Now he loves it, the two of you love reading together. Bathing together.
J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)
You love watching him work himself over, he gets so pretty when his fist is wrapped around his cock. Love waiting him writhe and come all over his knuckles.
K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)
Bucky loves to be rimmed- it just feels so good when you're blowing him- he totally jumped and almost kneed you in the face the first time you tried it though lol
L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)
Honestly he’ll fuck you anywhere, but he prefers somewhere cozy and safe-where he’s checked all the exits and windows because it gets him in the right mindset.
M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)
He’s not gonna lie- when you get all dolled up and wear that red lipstick he loves he cant help but grab handfuls of you.
N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
He refuses any kind of blindfold play- Bucky doesn't like his senses being taken away. He likes(needs) to be in control.
O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)
Bucks a giver- he remembers being tongue deep under the skirts of pretty girls in the back of dance halls. He’s good with his mouth- and you get to be on the receiving end to that.
P = Pace (Are they fats and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)
Depends and varies. He loves fucking you slow though, loves watching your body take him, all of him.
Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)
He’s not a fan of quickies- they remind him of the war and the USO sow girls and gunpowder and his first tastes of death/ He especially doesn't like them with you, he wants to take his time with you. Wants to savor it.
R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)
Not really, I mean you guys did fuck in a coat closet at the White House but you almost got caught by the CIA and that's always a mood killer right?
S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)
Three words: Super Soldier Serum. That man has WRECKED you before. Literally 5 rounds back to back. Your thighs shook for days.
T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
He enjoys toys- he’s always been a techie nerd. He loves when you press a vibrator to your clit as he takes you, loves the way you screech.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
You are the tease in the relationship, and he only does it to get you back. He sucks at it even though he has crazy self control. He doesn't want to be disciplined when it comes to you.
V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)
He’s not the most vocal, but fuck, are his grunts and groans so guttural and perfect.
W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)
Cockwarming is a favorite of both of yours.
X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)
MOTHERFUCKER IS PACKING. 10 inches, minimum. That serum amped up everything. He was devastated when he hurt you the first time, but like how could he not? You def weren't used to anything like that.
Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)
Um? He didn't get laid for the better part of a century. He’d be buried inside you every second of the fucking day if he could.
Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
He’s on sleeping and anxiety and a whole slew of other mess to get him to sleep- but that pussy of yours? How hard you make him cum? Better them any pharmaceuticals. He likes falling asleep on top of you, your bosom a pillow and your thighs still cradaling his hips. He’s warm. He’s home
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moondriftingold · 6 years ago
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name : dori ! nickname/s : jus... dori. my name is already a nickname of my full name jfrkfKJFR height : 5′2 & in danger (keeping that from tea bc mood) nationality : italian-canadian favourite fruit(s) : strawberries n pineapple favourite season : fall! absolutely! i’m an october baby bitch! GIVE ME MY PSL OR PERISH favourite scents : peach, pumpkin spice, campfire, generic christmas pinecone candle favourite animals : reptiles n fish ! tea, coffee, hot cocoa : i used to hate all of these but i fell in love w my parents’ nespresso machine 2 yrs ago and have been drinking coffee ever since. also recently got into tea this year and now i have a whole shelf full of fruit teas, rip my roommates average hours of sleep : 4-6 hours, typically 5 when my blog was created : SO IVE BEEN WRITING SAÏX FOR A LONG TIME i first picked him up in 2015 and then rebooted him in 2017 after a brief hiatus, and have been mostly consistent on this blog ever since! try me bitch im a veteran  random fact : i am on a journey to become zero-waste and its one of the hardest and most frustrating things ive ever done bc almost everything comes with plastic and waste and it’s so hard to find alternatives but u wont ever catch me giving up bc the earth is dying yall favourite food : toast and cheesy eggs. very good favourite t.v. shows : blue planet, tdp, the good place, bnha, the haunting of hill house, and others that i Know im forgetting favourite movie : seabiscuit, ratatouille, spider-verse, pacific rim, god i KNOW im forgetting things i can never remember my favs when i’m asked favourite vine : i’m just cooking pizza---  and also this one bc its just me sexuality : h pronouns : she / her! favourite book series : its been a long time since i actively read books (college is gr8) but i remember i fucking Loved the i am number four series when i was young. i read the first book like 6 times. it got a terrible movie dont judge me based on the rotten tomatoes rating favourite video game(s) : kingdom hearts obvi, but i also rly love botw, stardew valley, and pokemon! favourite band(s) : it changes all the time man. rn im really into listening to soundtracks favourite subject : bird courses guys or girls : guys aesthetically but if i have to talk to one for more than 5 minutes ill die last time I cried : uhhhhh three or four days ago? what I should be doing : putting together my books so i can send them off to print LOL favourite fandom : kh for sure! i’m confident in my writing here and i have a lot of friends to write with so that always makes things fun and encouraging, and i’m comfortable and happy with all my mutuals, and everyone here is just so nice. big luv to all of u
TAGGED BY : @13nth ! ilu! so much!! TAGGING : this sounds like a cop-out but all of my mutuals... tag me in ur post and tell me abt urself!!!!
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actualbird · 6 years ago
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tuesday, august, september
tuesday: name a fic you have posted which you think is overrated?
at first i thought that maybe itd be forest but no, no i remembered goddamn Professional Werewolf Witch, my highest kudosed fic on ao3 with a number so high it SCARES ME. i have nothing against the fic, per se, aside from the glaring fact that i wrote it 2014 and thus my writing is so....glaringly 2014. but like….i wrote it in a day and it’s not that great so im like ??? it had to be that one that got all the attention???? i’ll never understand why sjkdfhkdsjf
august: are any of your fics associated with certain genres/artists/songs/etc?
NOW i can cite is this a forest? because HELL YEAH the music is SO INTEGRAL to that fic. i cant look at forest without physically recoiling bc of my complicated feelings towards it kjshfdjf but i still do 100% LOVE the playlist of all the music mentioned in the fic. //tugging on everybody’s sleeve. listen to it. this music is important to me.
september: share a comment or review which still warms your heart?
jenny im going to kill you because when i first read this question when i saw the post the first comment that came up was LITERALLY the one u left on No Chance, No Way
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16yo!me saw this huge ass comment that took up the WHOLE SCREEN (i cant even screencap it legibly without cutting it up into separate images sjkdfhk) and basically like goddamn DIED ilu
but to level the playing field heres another from the tags of one of my bmc ficlets (I CANT FIGURE OUT WHICH ONE). it’s screencapped and in my gdrive for when i have weird-bad-writing days. i dunno, theres something about it that just makes me feel emotions. basically, drop the word “inspire” and im crying immediately
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thank u for asking, nerdlord supreme 
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forjaemin · 6 years ago
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helmi’s list of small happinesses
i was tagged by @taesjpg​ !! thank love !! ♡
💌 someone calling me by my name (bonus points if the person is an online friend)
💌 drawing on my laptop and listening to an interesting podcast or ted talk and the rain hit our house’s metal roof
💌 staying up with close friends and/or family on midsummer night
💌 deep conversations with my aunts or godmother
💌 finding new kpop music or groups and spending the rest of the night watching their variety shows and other content
💌 not to be gay & dating on main but my gf, hanging out with her late at night at the docks and listening to her talk about her deeper thoughts
💌 my mutuals and reading u guys’ personal posts. some of y’all think you’re funny and all and you’re absolutely right ilu keep up the good work
💌 coming across an old song or artist i used really like and finding out after a few listens i still do rly like them
💌 taeyeon’s new title song. dude. i’ve been listening to that on loop the whole day. that bass. idk who made that bass line but i lov u
💌 nct and their dumbass antics. especially the gentleman known as na jaemin and his overflowing love for nctzens, the way he expresses his love so eloquently and always makes effort to show it. i lov u
i’ll tag @yukheithot @ilujeno @cokehei @leejenos @1ongride @cafechenle !
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franeridart · 7 years ago
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Opinion on serobaku and serokiri?
SeroBaku kills me in the sweetest way and SeroKiri brings me back to life when I feel dead inside and SeroBakuKiri is like heaven on earth tbh I love those ships they make me feel warm !!!
Anon said:Yes but i loved minas hair like that??? So either ur hair is also p good or ur art is just that great n I’m %99 sure that it’s both, also r u ever planning to post a picture of urself?? ? I’m sorry if this question makes u uncomfortable, have a nice day!!!!
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh thank you!!!!! And pictures aren’t really my thing so that’s probably not gonna happen, but I assure you you’re not missing anything by not seeing me, anon hahaha
Anon said:Fraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan! ilu
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ヽ(o♡o)/ ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
Anon said:Imagine Bakugo drawing pictures of his squad without them noticing. Like Kiri looking out a window or mina and Denki trying their best to study or sero scrolling on his phone. I wonder how they would react to finding his sketch book
I’m sobbing this is so nice ;A; Sero and Kaminari’s reaction would probably be along the lines of “how is this guy good at everything” haha I like the headcanon of Mina drawing too so her reaction would be a bit different, probably, but still very very awed 
meanwhile Kiri is on the ground dying
(Kiri is me)
Anon said:Lately I’ve just like…. Noticed but all your art is such high quality and honestly it looks so so good. You have such a lovely style and it’s so original and distinctive and I’m love it and you so much. Plus!!! sometimes I’ll just look through your art tag and even though I think it all looks great I can tell you’ve improved a lot, and, idk, you inspire me to work on my own art constantly and thank you!! I hope you have a lovely day!!
Oh my god this ask slayed me ???????? thank you so much ;A; jesus this was so damn nice I dunno how to react at all !!!!!!!!!!!! I hope your own art is coming along great, anon!!!! I’m glad my doodles can make you want to have fun with it too!!!!!
Anon said: i absolutely adore your art style ! it’s so unique and fascinating and pretty i die
Welp thanks to this ask I die too so it’s two of us anon o m f g (thank uuuuu)
Anon said:Ahhhh the dorm life comics honestly made me smile so much I love them the way you portray all the characters is always so nice and asfhdjd your art is my favorite AND listening to you ramble in the tags honestly makes my day better I love it 10/10 bless
This is it, they day Fran honest to god dies, cause of death: yall being way too sweet for me to take holy s m o k e s ( ;A;)
Anon said:Do you think the UA teachers hang out like the kids do in the dorms?
YESSSSSSSS Aizawa and Mic are high school friends so I’m pretty sure it’s canon they waste time together, Blood King and Dog Hound are canon pals too so they also most probs chill together too! Blood King is also the same age as Aizawa and Mic so they probs used to go to school together too!!! And with Dog Hound being 32, Midnight being 31 and Cementoss and Thirteen being 28 they’re more or less all the same age, so I like to think they spend free time together~ some scenes with the teachers make me think they’re good pals with the older ones too, it’s a really fun group of people to be honest!
Anon said:I wonder what Kiri would do if Bakugou had the flu…Or what they would do if they stepped on Legos XD It’s a funny thought. I love your art so much, you’re my favorite Bakushima artist!!
Anon said: Omg your art gives me life. I was just wondering what happens when the bakusquad get a sick? Thank you
Thank you to both of you!!!! And I could give you both my take on this, but would I be able to make it better than BnHA SMASH did? Probably not, that thing’s so hilarious t b h hahaha
Anon said:OMG IS JIROU PLAYING UKULELE?! I PLAY UKULELE!!! OMG
Yes she is!!!!! I like to think Jirou’s got at least basic knowledge for how to play any instrument ever, so when she’s laying around in the common room once she got used to her friends listening to her play she’d bring with herself the smaller and easier ones to carry! An ukulele has a super nice sound and is small enough to bring around the dorms haha
Anon said:fran!! hi!! Ur comics actually make my life 50% better everytime i see them so thanks for cheering me up everytime you post!! They’re amazing and so is everything u do!! (Love ur art style btw)…. So besides all the compliments, i have a question!! What’s your opinion on AU’s where bakugou is deaf? Would u ever draw something related to it?
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I think I already answered this question? At some point? But I can’t find it, so in general my take is that I highly doubt Bakugou’s body isn’t built to withstand and not take damage from his own quirk (since his hands are made to hold up with it, I feel like the rest of his body is tailored around his quirk too), but I’m always up for disabled characters and the idea of Bakugou signing is beautiful to me, so I don’t mind the AU one bit! Dunno if I’ll ever draw for it tho, drawing jsl when I don’t know it is hard. I know that from experience.
That said, I do find the fics in which Bakugou becomes deaf because of his quirk a bit hard to believe most of the times? Because in all of them his ears are the only things taking damage for the continuous use of his quirk and I just sit here like, his eyes should be taking damage too. Normal eyes aren’t made to withstand explosions and stun grenades every day all day, so if his ears aren’t biologically made to hold against his quirk his eyes shouldn’t be either. 
Like, I read those fics and I find them real hard to believe because the authors aren’t pushing it hard enough, for me it’s either no damage at all or hoh AND visually impaired Bakugou, boy can’t be only half built to withstand his quirk that’d just be silly haha but that’s probably just me, the AU is Good 👍
Anon said:The Mirio eyes on that last pannel. Everyone needs Mirio eyes. (also don’t even try to convince anyone Kiri doesn’t steal Baku’s sweaters too)
He started doing so once he found himself with no hoodies left - he isn’t the type to just steal people’s clothes, I think, but if Bakugou started doing so first he’d probably find it acceptable to consider all their hoodies fair game hahaha
Anon said:Oh my god I absolutely adore your art so much. Every time you post something I get so excited! Your art is honestly so cute and it never ever fails to cheer me up. If I ever need inspiration or motivation to draw something especially cute, I come to your blog and look through your posts. Your fluffy art makes my heart clench and makes me grin like crazy. I just… I have so many feels about your art. It just makes me so very happy!
Gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood thank you!!!!!!!!!! Holy smokes!!!!!!!!!!! I’m so so happy my stuff can make you inspired to draw ;A; aaahhhhhhhhh!!!!! this made me so happy holy he ck ;u;
Anon said:Hey… thanks for all the stuff you do. It’s really great and I just wanted you to know that. Thanks………….❤️
No anon thank you for this ask, oh my g o d ;U; *sob*
Anon said:I don’t know if you readed the fic “communicate with your body” of xx_kuuhaku_xx, but If you haven’t done so, read it please. I think you’d love it
It’s the merman!Kiri one, right? I read it!!! A bit too much smut in it for my tastes, but I did like it a lot!!! ヽ(o♡o)/
Anon said:AHHHHH!!!!!! IM CRYING!!!!! I LOVE YOUR ART SO FUCKING MUCH ITS JUST SO FUCKING GOOD AND THEYRE ALL JUST SO FUCKING CUTE AND FUCK I LOVE ALL OF YOUR KIRISHIMAXBAKUGOU HEADCANONS AND EVERYTHING IS JUST SO GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU AND YOUR ART AND THIS BLOG SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!
I LOVE YOU A LOT TOO ANON OH MY G O D THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anon said:i just started watching servamp cause i remembered you talked about it before and i like it a lot?? kuro is #relatable and all the voice actors are so good wth 
Anon said:OKAY HI FRAN IM THE SAME SERVAMP ANON AND WTF IM CRYIBG SAKUYA AND HYDE MY SONS im so emotional over the last episode it didnt explain anything im gonna have to start the manga now and the movie and specials dont have subtitles yet help me im dying
ANON IF YOU’RE PICKING UP THE MANGA YOU NEED TO GO BACK TO THE START - the anime messed it all up, there’s a lot of missing things since the beginning!!! The anime is beautiful but the manga is 100% better, I hope you’ll enjoy it!!!!! *O* (…once you get caught up with it you’re free to come yell at me, the current arc is killing my soul)
Anon said:Fran!!! Your last comic!!! About Bakugou with a crush!!!! ITS SERIOUSLY SUPER GREAT no really, I usually see Kirishima as the one portrayed with a giant, blush-when-he-texts-me crush, but Bakugou!!! He’s a teenager too are you telling me the whole heart fluttering thing wouldn’t happen to him?? Ofc it would!!!! (He’d be kinda pissed at first, like “what is this weird feeling”, but I don’t think Bakugou would be exactly averse to it, after he realized his feelings??) Anyway TY FOR CRUSHING BLASTY
YOU ARE!!!! WELCOME!!!!!!! I love smitten Kirishima, but the lack of giddily in love Bakugou in this fandom hurts me a bit - love is a happy feeling!!! Mostly so if you can tell it’s probably required!!! And Kirishima’s super obvious about his feelings so Bakugou being able to tell is highly probable!!!!! And Bakugou can be his grumpy self all he wants, but if he’s in love he’s gonna be happy about it when Kirishima’s sweet to him!!!! That’s how I see it, at least hahaha
Honestly tho that’s my favorite sort of love, the one that makes you unable to hold back a smile and makes your stomach flutter and your heart clench in the good way, I want both Bakugou and Kirishima to feel like that about their relationship~
Anon said:On the comic captioned he’s got a crush I literally squealed it was so cute!!
;O; I’m glad you liked it omfg!!!
Anon said:I wanted you to know that your Kiribaku comics give me life and they always brighten my days! I also have a question if you don’t mind… will we see more of the domestic with kids au? Your Kiribaku dads are so adorable it’s kind of ridiculous. Thank you for all the art you share with us!!!
Thank you for liking it, anon!!!! And maybe! If I feel inspired and find ideas for it, why not! I don’t personally deal with kids often so ideas for that AU don’t come easy haha but maybe!
Anon said:You get so many notes on your artwork… do you like actually read any people’s tags on them? Because I know I have had some e m b a r r a s s i n g tags of me yelling with excitement 😂 I hope you don’t ever read those and just face palm at my stupidity. Haha anyway that’s my way of saying I love your stuff and just yell about it a lot.
………………..I do read all tags tho :O so I definitely read yours too, but whatever they were if it was yelling with excitement they made my day, 100% for sure, you’re the type of person I post my art for, anon!!!
Anon said:tfw even tho he looks kinda ridiculous, bakugou still manages to look good with that hair and outfit
Well, I still find it uncomfortable to look at l m a o but yeah he’d look good in nearly anything, he’s just that pretty ( ⌯◞◟⌯)♡
Anon said:Asdffhjllvdrhbhsd jakugou jatsuki I died oml thank you I’m still laughing and Jakugou looks Fabulous™ in your style and I’m so lame ASDFHJKLL HE LOOKS GOOD AND I’M CRYING LAUGHING BLESS
Anon said:i’M crYING JAKGOU JaTSUKI what beautyyyyyy omfg
GLAD I COULD MAKE YOU TWO LAUGH OMFG HAHAHA
Anon said:your art really catches how good Bakugou looks in those jeans (I bet Kiri really appreciates it too)
*sob* thank you !!!!! (and Kiri appreciates Bakugou however he looks 👀👀👀 he’s smitten)
Anon said:Just a stupid anon here to say I love your art and I hope you have a very lovely week! ^^ (no need to reply~)
Of course I need to reply :O you’re being so sweet, anon, thank you!!!!!!!! I hope you’ll have a perfect week too!!!!!!
Anon said:Hello!As a young poly person who found your blog before I had found love and realized I’m poly, I wanted to thank you. Your bokuroteru helped my feel okay with myself as I realized, and although I’m sad to see it end, I’m glad it’s a happy one! I have the “You polyamorous disaster” panel as my computer background!! Thank you! (also your style makes me happy, all bubbly in the heart and all) Yuuji is one of my fav characters and I love this ship as well!! Just.. THANK YOU SO MUCH
ANON you’re the reason why I draw polyamory oh m y g o d I’m!!!!! so happy the comic could help you along!!!! I wish you the best of luck in your romantic life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *O*
Anon said:FRAN. BAKUGOU and CATS. Omg all of the kitties just love him and he’s like GTFO leave me alone you furry fuckers but they love him and he’s gentle with them and he’s scared to touch them sometimes bc of his explosive sweat makes fire hazards and omg they just attack him and he thinks he’s gonna die bc he loves them too!! Fran, sweetie can you picture this?? Can you picture Kirishima’s reaction?? Like full on red blushy explosion bc omg he’s in love with a dandelion precious ball of rage Fran omg
Oh my god yeah of course I can Bakugou being an animal person is my fave headcanon ever!!!! This is so sweet too!!!!!! Oh my g o ds, thank you so much for this ask aaahhhhhhhh ;A;A;A;A;
Anon said:FRAN. My litERAL WEAKNESS LIKE KRYPTONITE LEVEL WEAKNESS IS BAKU LAUGHING. AND THE SNORTTTT. FFFFFF holy shit did not realize caps lock was on haha. BUT I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT. so much!
THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bakugou laughing is something real special isn’t it, I so hope we’ll see that happen in canon soon!!! (⸝⸝⍢⸝⸝) ෆ
Anon said:Your OCs are so cute!! ❤️❤️❤️
*SCREAMS* THANK!!!!! YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anon said:do you ship bak*deku too?
Not romantically nor sexually, no! I only wish them as really really really good friends~
Anon said:Ahh I’m crying because I was the Bakugou laughing anon and I was thinking about his laugh all freaking day too
It’s been four days and I’m still thinking about it so honestly, seriously thank you again, anon!!!
Anon said:Hey, did you see Tanaka in the few latest chapters of HQ? Such a precious lad, look at him go 😍 I swear no one deserves him (expect maybe you)
“except maybe you” are you out to KILL ME ANON OH MY G O D ;A; thank you - but YES he’s being amazing isn’t he!!! He makes me so happy, such a good boy, such a good character, I’m glad he’s a thing that exists in my life ╰(✿´⌣`✿)╯♡
Anon said:hi fran just wanted to tell ya that I used to love your art before BUT THEN i started drawing myself and now I realize the pain and struggling of shading and anatomy and expressions and let me say i appreciate you 100% EVEN MORE now, and if I used to love your art now I freaking ADORE it!! (also fun fact I actually started drawing bc of you, im uh,,, super executive dysfunctional so I could never get around to doing it before but YOUR ART SERIOUSLY INSPIRED ME THANK U DRAWING IS TOUGH BUT FUN)
Thank you???? So much???? Oh my g o d I’m so happy I could somehow help you find the focus to try drawing out! It is a pain, but the more you do it the easier some basic things get and the more fun you’ll have with it, it’s such a tough but rewarding hobby to have! I hope you’ll enjoy it as much as possible, anon!!!!
Anon said:FRAN IS IT WEIRD THAT WHENEVER I THINK ABOUT U I THINK OF U AS A MIXTURE OF BAKU AND KUROO AND KAMI
OMFG WHAT DOES THAT LOOK LIKE EVEN T H O HAHAHA
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taetwin-moved · 7 years ago
Audio
so I was tagged by the beautiful kat @hoseokminskitten​ to do the voice tag thing so here’s my voice. ily kat a whole lot 💕💕💕
i’m sorry if u actually listen to this, i’m a mess
tagging: @artistictae​ @2miel​ @hobisol​ @serendipityrnv​ @r-osalinas​ @yoongimor​ @rainpjm​ @qvnari​ @uzzutape​ @gummyjimin​ @vampykeith​ and whoever else wants to do this really. as always, only do if u want to!! 💕💕
here are the questions:
- your name and username - where you’re from - pronounce the following words: aunt, roof, route, theater, iron, salmon, caramel, fire, water, new orleans, pecan, both, again, probably, alabama, lawyer, coupon, mayonnaise, pajamas, caught, naturally, aluminium, GIF, tumblr, crackerjack, doorknob, envelope, GPOY - what is it called when you throw toilet paper on a house? - what is a bubbly carbonated drink called? - what do you call gym shoes? - what do you call your grandparents? - what do you call the wheeled contraption in which you carry groceries at the supermarket? - what is the thing you change the TV channel with? - choose a book and read a passage from it - do you think you have an accent? - be a wizard or a vampire? - do you know anyone on tumblr in real life? - end audio post by saying any THREE words you want
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