#if u can call my shitty translations that lmao

[barbietoiles]

Well if it was swimming with a raft "nager avec un radeau" is totally correct, just not that common mdrrrrr

Yeah our words are weird like who decided that a banana would be "UNE banane"??? My take is that you just learn the pronouns of the words by living your life and earring people talk about these words, but there is no logic to just guess if it's "un" or "une" 😭

In school students often laugh saying that to guess a Spanish word, you have to take a French one and add "o" or "a" at the end (so students often make up words if they don't know the translation lmao)

But for us it's also much more difficult than in English for the gender neutral pronoun ; since in English everything is genderless, you can say "they are tired"

In French, you would say,

for a masculine pronoun : il est fatigué

for a feminine pronoun : elle est fatiguée

so for a gender neutral pronoun : iel est fatigué.e

it's called "inclusive writing"! As you can guess old people and far-right ppl are totally against, saying it's denaturing our language and bla bla bla but in fact, my teachers use it a lot in email to address a big group of students and include everyone like " à tous les étudiant.e.s". Bc we have a dumb rule that we learn in primary school that "masculine win over feminine" (le masculin l'emporte sur le féminin) meaning that if you have 10 girls and only 1 guy, you still have to say "ils" in plural. So with that it's easier to include everyone in written form !

And yep I never really watch multigaming before twitch tbh, there are only two men that can makes me watch league of legend, and they are etoiles and kameto (I don't understand a single thing 🫠)

(The space invader does look better on pc, he even has small codes to help him jump!)

-👾

No logic to it.... i see i see.... you live and you learn.... pain. I must listen to etoiles and baghera well!

The "take a french word and make it spanish" is hilarious and also quite cute kkkk. Its like my sister, who makes english words by saying latvian words in an english accent. And ALSO!! I KNEW IT i mentioned to an irl friend that im learning french and that learning spanish beforehand helped a lot because theyre similar and they said "french and spanish are nowhere near similar". SUCK IT BABY, i know what im talking about!!

The inclusive language looks a bit silly with the full stop lol but i think its clever. -é.e. i can choose to be é or e or . , very nice kkkkk. But yeah, old folks will complain about anything, the pissiness of latvian folks when a "no gender" bathroom is mentioned can be UNREAL (though usualy all the angry people are on the internet loll). Cant imagine how it would be if we tried doing inclusive language lol. (Or maybe we could just do a "oh its like russians ono dont worry about it" reasoning lol)

The "male over female" is a whole rule??? Oh my D: its usual to have the masc form be kind of considered "default", but thats crazy..... We use the "viņ(š)(a)" writing very often in emails and documents, its not considered progressive at all because its what we were always using pretty much? But the masc word always comes first. And ive noticed a phenomenon of masc even being considered "gender neutral", because to kind of neutrally address someone you COULD address them in the plural form, but problem is we also have gendered plural lol. So usually the masc one is used to kind of make the person "gender neutral". Its hard....

Theres going to be league of legends? Oh no... one friend played it all the time and it looks so boring ;u;..... well, its etoiles i dont care if game is boring i can get distracted by his shitty facecam mdr

(Also, im using mdr now, its so fun. Saying it out loud is good "r" practice kkkkk)

[saizoswifey]

Saizo being savage as usual 😂

[relax-and-read-on]

absolutely adoring your Konrad takes

Hahaha oh BOY im gonna use this as an excuse to babble about my favorite murder hobbo and sexuality.

I Love Konrad. I adore him. He's 100% my fav. I love him, and his sons, and his horribly shitty bat armour. God they are so ugly it goes right back to being funny.

I know that this is warhammer and that people care more about "where are the ammo clip" than the deep psychology of your fav, but shit, i do, and I have some THOUGHT.

Konrad grew up alone. He never had anyone actually care for him as a child. He was a homeless, nameless orphan, eating rats and corpse. He only survived by virtue of being a primarch full of instinct. If kids aren't properly socialised in early childhood, it develop a TON of issues for them (*Pointed look at Lion in the corner*). Anyway, at least Konrad had exposure to humans around him. The problem was, it was the happy fun criminals of Nostramo. I know a lot of people go "he was a primarch, he could probably take them when he was 4", but I call bullshit. In part because, at that early age, he probably craved human contact desperately. Babys are trusting. They *want* to be loved. That's how humans work.

What im getting at, is that Konrad was definitely, 100%, irrevocably, abused by criminals as a very young child. In the very bad no no way. That kind of abuse is also what probably lead to his mind splitting in with the Night Haunter, because Did is mostly caused by extreme abuse in early childhood. Poor Konrad, who was never touched of loved, and when it finally happen, it's only to brake and hurt him.

Now all that is fun, but as an adult, how does that bombs of trauma translate??? Weeeeell~! It's a mess!! On one hand, you have Konrad, who DO wants to do good. Yes, I know we always think of him as our favorite murder hobo who roll around in guts, but like. He wanted Justice. He wanted peace. He wanted people to be SAFE. Isn't that noble as fuck?? Doesn't that seem to you like the crooked wish of a survivor wanting others to never have to endure what he went through?? I think that, because of those facts, his baseline is being sex repulsed. He has just seen/experienced so much abuse and disgusting things, sex means nothing to him anymore. It's a power thing and he has no desire for it.

Than big E show up and goes "HEY LET'S WEAPONIZED YOUR TRAUMA SON" because he's a bastard.

And he has to be violent. And dangerous. And also discover a new world beyond the star, were some people actually love each others and are nice. He has to deal with motherfucking Fulgrim, who hug him and call him little brother and smile at him and very clearly sleep around and fully enjoy it, no pain at all. Poor Konrad. He cannot handle this at all. And ofc, the only person who realise this is Good ol' madlad Sevatar, aka "best fucking character in 40k, I accept no one else". Sevatar has a lot of similar trauma than Konrad, but instead of wanting to destroy any potential abuser or trigger, he just roll around in it and decide that you can't be traumatized if you never ever think about it. Charge ahead ayooo.

So ofc Sevatar get to Konrad, see him upset because his boss/dad walked in of Fulgrim enjoying heads or something, and goes "lmao I can suck u off too" wich probably earn him a beating. Except he take it sexually, wich weird out Konrad even more. Then he still probably still get sucked, because Sevatar aint a quitter.

And that's how the weirdest relationship ever in 40k start. Sometime Konrad wants to punish. Sometime he wants to be punished. He wants to hurt and then he wants to BE hurt the only person that seem to fully get it it is Sevatar, who happily and loudly goes along with everything. They show up the next day both looking like they had a fight with cave bear and missing some chunk of meat, and Konrad may not be saner, but at least he's getting some. It's 100% not romantic, he does not do that, he doesn't understand that. Sevatar like to jokingly call him "Daddy" if someone ask. He get punched into the face every time.

That's basically it! Wow that's a lot of ramble. Well, ok, he also probably after had a fling with Fulgrim, because everyone has, and probably slept with Dorn a few times before it became too weird. And there is the entire ~Thing~ with Vulkan but that's like, another giant rambly post entirely.

[shijiujun]

Hi I have a question about a tag I saw on some cnovel translations. It’s “Dog Blood,” which I think is a direct translation of the Chinese tag. One place I saw it was on a novel by priest called 锦瑟, if that helps. I couldn’t figure out how to find the meaning without reading a whole novel.

HAHAHAHA omg my friend, i’ve been wanting to do this post for a while, but anyway since you asked, i shall just go through some of the danmei/novel/cdrama genres or types below. it ain’t an exhaustive list at all, there’re plenty of variations, but you may see some of these on jjwxc, also feel free to add for others

[but before i go on a tangent, for 锦瑟 pipi’s description is 狗血仙侠 I think? means angsty, melodramatic, makjang (if you’re into kdrama) cultivation to become immortal types]

*some of the below are like, you’ll totally turn up your nose at it and go like what the fuck, and not that i consume some of these genres, and i have ZERO comment as to what these genres are and i don’t want to hear stuff about how immoral things are (which they, some of them really are) - i’m just adding it in so yall know what to look out for in jjwxc next time if you chance upon weird shit okay

and i know all of these by some unfortunate crash course by a friend who’s a weibo supertopic trawler:

甜／虐 tian／nue 

Sweet or angsty/suffering types.

宠爱 chong ai

Means one of the main characters/leads really, really dotes on the other person. Basically a sweet novel, excessively sweet one.

狗血 gou xie

Literally translated yes it means dog’s blood, but what this means is that it’s angsty as fuck, and melodramatic, a lot of parts that will make you want to like spit out blood, which is where the name sort of matches. It ranges from like main characters with shitty personalities, betrayal, a lot of heartbreak, have I mentioned blood-spitting angst HAHAHA because yeah that’s what I get. Sometimes death (temporary or fake or transmigration or otherwise) yeah you get it. It does not mean BE, it can be HE, but you’re in for a fucking ride

沙雕／搞笑 sha diao／gao xiao

This means humour, comedy! Rather safe, refers to light-hearted humour, meant to be funny hahaha

鸡汤 ji tang

Literally translated means chicken soup, and no this does not mean chicken soup for the soul type of novels - this is also used to mean humour but like meme-ish and more like in your face humour that’s dumb and smart at the same time. Like just ridiculous humour.

骨科 gu ke

LMAO okay this literally translated means orthopedist, like the doctor department u go to when you break a bone? AHEM in danmei or actually not just danmei, any sort of het books, if you see this it means incest. So most of us would steer clear of this. The name came about (don’t take my word for it, there are a few versions I’ve heard but this is the most common one I think) because this popular male blogger was on a livestream or smth, and then his father came into this room to basically break his leg because he found out that the guy was sleeping with his younger sister, and that’s how it got its name

Look, I don’t judge, but I’d totally run the other way if I see this on any novel description just saying hahaha

小白 xiao bai

Literally translated as Little White, but used to mean surface-level type novels or stories (commonly used to describe web novels or fan fiction oops hahaha) - No depth in storytelling or characterization, no overarching huge plot, not very creative either HAHAHA (but does this mean it’s not good?! we’ll leave the jury out for that one)

菠萝 bo luo

Literally means pineapple, the fruit lol, but it’s used as slang/euphemism for B (bo) L (luo) - BL novels HAHAHAH

清水 qing shui

PG-13 novels, no explicit plots or scenes or people etc.

傻子 sha zi

This is a bit of an iffy line as well, technically it’s used to mean like a main character (one of the main leads) is a bit like naive and innocent and a bit of a bimbo/himbo/thimbo - but I think recently there’s been a rise of novels where authors (not just danmei, also in het ones) take the ‘silly’ part one step further and one of the leads can be actually mentally ill or retarded - so if you see this, you may wanna find a second opinion to see what kind of book it exactly is, so you don’t get a shock :/ Some of them are written well and treat the issue of mental instability and illness properly, others use it as just a trope/plot point, yeah so it’s hard to tell.

Don’t even ask okay, don’t ask why this exists or why people write certain things I do not have the answer. 

And then there are types based on like the setting:

末世 Apocalyptic

明星 Entertainment Industry 

民国 Republican Era 

高干 Main lead comes from like the upper echelons of society

军 Military

生子 Preg/MPreg

机甲 Robotics

声优 Audio VA/Entertainment 

重生 Reincarnation

穿越 Transmigration

科幻 Sci-Fi

修真／仙侠 Immortal Cultivation / Xianxia

[naz-yalensky]

tabaaaa

for fics sake, describe sawdust -

(DETAILS)

oh and give me some iconic interactions between u 2

Hmmm

Long post ya'll

By details, I'll go with appearance first, black eyes, black hair, golden skin and has this weird birthmark on his left collarbone (I, however also have a very, weird birthmark on my right collarbone, very weird)

Has the most perfect teeth in this universe somehow, very tall, way too tall, i go up til like his chest?? I have to straighten my neck to look at him in the eyes and I hate it, is way too thin, like literally looks like he didn't eat for 4 years straight (okay seriously saying, it looks like 2 years but still) also has the prettiest hands in the earth, even the guard at school agrees, has a slightly and very slightly crooked nose, also has this mysterious cut across his upper arm that he refuses to tell anyone about how he got it, high cheekbones? Overall he's the ugliest person that I've ever saw but it's like you cannot turn your eyes away from him but like-

Okay I got carried away, I'm back on track

So appearance done, let's go into his shitty personality !!!

Wears hawaiian shirts, you hear me?? Hawaiian shirts like who even wears that?? Overall I judge his fashion choices on a daily basic, whenever I see it, only looks good in the school uniform probably hm,

Okay he smiles WAY too much like i barely smile at school and he's like always :)))) and just no

Like bro don't you ever have a bad day or smth okay-

Is literally everyone's favorite person at school, somehow makes the entire class laugh until they're crying (not including me, I sit there like -:| ) has so many trophies and medals that I'm sick of it, is a prefect (but I'm the school leader so all the prefects and other people work under me hA), always gonna go til the end of the scale, never on the safe side like a dumbass, has ironically tried to summon the devil, once again like a fool because he wanted to see how the devil looked like, curiosity at it's worst, has two sisters so he knows how to cook well, at least that's what he said , can do math faster than a calculator, has the sharpest memory ever istg I hate it so much, once made a map of an entire fucking ship, is too smug, is always singing this tune and like-

Got carried away for the second time again, like no :)

Iconic Interections?

◇ Hmm yk about the burning of his hand as I pushed the coffee on his hand (it was so fun istg but ngl I did felt a little, just a little bit bad after seeing the bandage on his hand)

◇ our first meet was in the middle of the year as I changed schools, when the first time we made eye contact, he smiled but I didn't and then the next day was an exam and I got the highest in class, you could say that the enemies part started from there

◇ I was once running around and fixing everything at a festival, as the school leader, i have to watch EVERYTHING, prefects have less work hmh, so I was running with all these papers and stuff and yk he bumped me and all the papers just went flying and i was beyond angry, I did not even said anything yet when he just went "shanto ho, shoundori" do you know what that translate to? "Calm down, beauty" yes everyone calls me that as something of a nickname but I did not expected him to say it

◇ this happened yesterday but once again, my bag fell when I was walking by because he turned around so I was about to take my bag off the ground but he picked it up and just said a silent "sorry" you could say I died

◇ also this happened last week but there was a big test and the teacher said that only one person came first and !!! It's me !!!! And can you guess it? It's in maths !!!! But the teacher said that the highest was 100 and when I saw that I got it, I just sat there like :)))) (I would have thrown a party but there's a rule to not tell anyone when you come first, smth for not making people feel bad or smth) but I still told my bestie lmao, yk that sawdust was already mad out of his mind so when the teacher left, he got up on the stage, took the marker and wrote "fuck you, the person who came first" and everyone was laughing but he was so serious i- and then when he was coming down from the stage, he was like walking while making eye contact, I don't know if he knows or something (then there's my bestie who was like saying to me "you do want to fuck him, good for him" , i was like yes it's true but so inappropriate, get out-) and like that's it

◇ there's a festival in bangladesh , "pohela boishakh" it's our new year and like everything so a dance competition was held at our school for it and I participated it and I came 2nd !!! But let me tell you, first of all we made a lot of eye contact when I was dancing up on the stage, he was in the front row or smth and people often throw flowers when the dancers complete the dance and he was the first one to throw one, (I still kept the flower but recently it disappeared lmao)

And basically all of the bug events but there's more if you search safaba or whatever, we talk about sawdust a lot more than you expect-

[dl4draws]

hiii delfi! good morning! your past abt the US and its shitty geography were the first thing i read today and uhh i'm not very informed on US geography so that was a lesson and a half lmao

anywayy u said u wanted to hear more country shenanigans so let me provide u with some bullshit that germany has to offer!

as far as shitty geography goes, we don't have too much going on because we're not that big. we have 16 states ("Bundesländer") in total, 3 of which are "Stadtstaaten" (=city-states) which basically means that they are both a state and the state's capital at once (those three are Hamburg, Bremen, and Berlin - yes, Berlin as in the capital of Germany). One thing that is kind of similar to the US and their north/south/west/whatever states is that we have three states that are called Sachsen (Saxony), Niedersachsen (Lower Saxony), and Sachsen-Anhalt (Saxony-Anhalt). I can't tell you why they're all called Sachsen, they just are. We also have a state called Saarland which is (jokingly) the Alabama of Germany. No idea where that joke came from but everybody likes to make fun of Saarland.

One thing that I personally find hilarious is that we have cities with the same names, too. My favourite example is Frankfurt. There's one Frankfurt that is a huge city, incredibly important, I believe the headquarters of the European Central Bank as well as a lot of other banks are situated in Frankfurt. But officially we call this gigantic important city "Frankfurt am Main" (Main is a river that Frankfurt is next to, "Frankfurt next to the Main") as to not offend some town with 10 times less inhabitants that also happens to be called Frankfurt (Frankfurt an der Oder, another river). We don't add the name of the state to specify the town like the US does, we take the nearest river or sometimes the administrative districts it's in (Haag in Oberbayern, for example, which is "Haag in Upper Bavaria").

Okay useless geography lesson over, now for the funnier bits! (idk why i even put all the geography here ooof sorry)

The most well known fuckery is probably the "Bielefeldverschwörung" (Bielefeld conspiracy). Basically, all of Germany has collectively decided that the city Bielefeld in North Rhine-Westphalia does not exist. Anything that might prove us wrong is simply the work of aliens. It's basically a meme that the entire country accepted as fact. Bielefeld does not exist. (The origin is that some college students in the 90's had a running gag about Bielefeld not being real and it caught on on the internet. The plan was to prove the conspiracy theories, no matter how outlandish they are, can and will be defended even if they are blatantly wrong. It's hilarious imo)

Another thing is the Sprachbarriere (language barrier? is that a thing?). Every state has a different dialect and even the districts have different dialects sometimes. Some of the dialects aren't that unintelligible but then there are others where you think you suddenly entered a different country because you simply don't understand anything. Yes technically, we all speak German. But the only actual universal language is hochdeutsch (=high german, which really doesn't mean anything other than "normal german").

There are so many dialects!

Personally, I'm from the south of Germany. Rural Upper Bavaria (Oberbayern) to be exact. Here, people speak oberbayrisch and it's sometimes impossible to understand - even for me, someone who has lived here all their life but doesn't speak it (because my parents aren't from here and don't speak it either).

There are other notorious dialects, like the Berliner Schnauze (can't think of a literal translation other than "Berlin snout" rn, it's basically just the dialect in Berlin), which might seem pretty rude and harsh to non-Berlin folks, but it's not meant to be rude.

Another example is Plattdeutsch ("flat german"?) which is spoken in the north. I don't know much about it but it sounds funny.

Then there is sächsisch. My favourite dialect of them all because i can imitate it and it's so funny. It's spoken in Saxony.

Another one that I like a lot is schwäbisch (=swabian). It's spoken in Baden Württemberg, particularly in central and southern Württemberg. It's pretty nuanced with several versions and it's almost impossible to understand tbh. Most of my family is from the Swabian Alb, so technically i should be able to understand it but oh boy do i have difficulties!

There are a lot more that i'm not talking about here tho because i don't know them!

With all those regional differences in language there are also some differences in what we call certain things and we WILL fight over those.

An example are bread rolls. You see, in Bavaria we call them "Semmel", in Baden-Württemberg we call them "Weckle" (i think that's how it's spelled but i'm not sure), in Thuringia we call them "Brötchen" (that's what i call them too), and in Berlin they're "Schrippen". I know I probably didn't mention all the versions but these are the ones i know. We fight about that. Daily. My family is a fun mix of Baden-Württemberg, Thuringia, and Bavaria, so everyday we argue about whether it's Brötchen, Semmeln, or Weckle. Nobody wins. (Brötchen are superior tho. Fight Me.)

The same thing happens for pancakes (Eierkuchen or Pfannkuchen) and another baked thing that I don't know the proper English name of. We call them Berliner, Krapfen, Pfannkuchen, Kreppel, Puffel, and probably so many other things lmao. Nobody ever wins but it's bound to start a fight.

Same thing goes for Nutella. German has three articles, a masculine one (der), a feminine one (die), and a neutral one (das). People will argue about the grammatical gender of Nutella. Personally I believe it's "das Nutella" and everything else is an atrocity.

Okay wow, I spent over an hour typing this up and it's probably so boring ahshasga i'm sorry delfi i didn't mean to dump all that on you!

omg yes thank you so much for taking the time to write all of this (an hour omfg), it was extremely interesting to read!!!!!!

okay so first things first, berlin is literally the best and i went only once but i honestly would love to move there, my only problem is: i have no clue how to speak/read german and from reading this it’s gonna be difficult even trying to learn (with all the different dialects) 

skdhaksdhs so many sachsens oh my god, also does literally every country have an alabama???????? ours is santiago del estero lol

the Frankfurt case is nice tho, bc yes it is the same name, but they did the thing i like which is “virginia but to the left”, but with rivers gkfhgfsdfghj

i am SO sorry germans but Bielefeldverschwörung looks like a keysmash ashgdhasgdhsjgdkjasd I'm so sorry, also Bielefeldverschwörung??? i know no Bielefeldverschwörung (am i doing this right?) 

having so many dialects is insane omg?? we have different accents here, not dialects. at least i’m not aware of argentina having different dialects, that’s mostly for argentina and other spanish speaking countries. for example in spain in they use coger in the to grab something meaning (i have been scrolling on my camera roll for about 15 minutes looking for the meme) (FOUND IT)

german is so nice to listen to, i actually listen to asmr zeitgeist’s german videos a lot because not understanding anything with the soft whispers make my brain go zzzzzzz 

thank you so much for sharing all of these amazing facts!!! had a blast reading everything!!!

[cassyapper]

loving you may mean losing you but i dont mind (jotakak playlist)

dont talk to me about the title of this thing im embarrassed enough

anyway but okay so!!!! very excited to share this!!!! this has been in the works since september but my picky ass finally found an adequate amount of songs so here it is!!!!!! my jotakak playlist (:

special thanks to my lovely and wonderful friend jade for helping me finish this this thing <3

track list nd why i picked the songs that i did under the break!

1. the predatory wasp of the palisades is out to get us! by sufjan stevens i chose this song because it’s all about internalized homophobia and being in love with your best friend as a kid which RLLY resonates w jotakak imo. esp cause in the song, stevens’ friend ends up leaving abruptly, leaving stevens to wonder about what couldve blossomed if they had stuck together and worked through the difficulties together, which JOTARO....THAT IS JOTARO-CORE esp cause kak also “leaves” (dies). so this song was a v obvious choice for me and in fact this song is what inspired me to create this playlist in the first place

2. we are beautiful, we are doomed by los campesinos! this song is abt being in love with someone but you both have ur issues so it’s kind of a mess. considering jotaro and kakyoin’s (to point it quite frankly) trauma and the fact that both of them do jack shit to try and cope with it healthily, this song DEFINITELY fits them. esp cause this song mentions physical fighting and the imagery that goes with it (”he got his teeth fixed/im gonna break them”, “i’ve got a fist on fire”, etc) and the entirety of the bridge/last verse rlly gives me these two’s vibes so! ya (:

3. love love love by of monsters and men this song is the singer feeling like shes completely unworthy of being loved by this important person in her life, particularly because she has NO idea how to show affection and love the (for lack of better word) “acceptable” way, or any way at all really. this REALLY has jotaro vibes cause he is one repressed motherfucker and as we see the entirety of his story, jotaro is full of love he loves so much it’s just he has no idea how to properly express it cause he’s scared essentially. but that didn’t stop people from loving him, in this case, that being kakyoin. hhhhHHh

4. ribs by lorde this song is about being scared of growing up but due to the lyrics being written the way they are, i kinda spin the interpretation of it to be the fear jotaro and kakyoin had on the crusade to egypt, as they were the youngest and didnt know if they’d make it back and everything is just incredibly overwhelming there is so much going on all the time those 50 days. i can do a full analysis on why but that would be kinda long LMAO. for now let’s leave it at they have a very Unique fear of growing up but it still fits with the lyrics. particularly the last bit of the song with the “youre the only friend i need” verses,,,makes me think of these two...

5. can i call you tonight? by dayglow i interpret this song to be about trying to figure out what, exactly, your feelings are for this very specific and important person in your life. since jotaro and kakyoin r both repressed and also suckers of internalized homophobia, i think they fit that theme very well. particularly with the whole “i feel like we’re close, but maybe we’re not actually? what are we?” theme going on in the lyrics, this whole song makes me think of jotaro and kakyoin figuring out their intense and sudden (cause again only 50 days but also, those 50 days had So Much going on) feelings for each other. also the “now i’m no longer alone” line in the chorus HHHHHHH that’s them

6. la la la love song by toshinobu kubota ft naomi campbell SO I KNOW THIS SONG IS KINDA JUST FLUFF but we need some light-hearted moments in this thing hjgg;. ALSO toshinobu kubota is canonically jotaro’s favorite musician so i wanted to reference that and this was my fav love song of his that i’ve found so far so (: also the “you are my shining star” line,,,heh

7. truce by twenty one pilots so this song is very soft. it’s about tending to wounds and taking a moment before continuing to push on. it makes me think abt jotaro and kakyoin taking care of each other on the journey (for example the lovers arc/n’doul fight). also the whole “stay alive, stay alive for me/you will die, but now your life is free/take pride in what is sure to die” makes me go fucking nuts that is. that fits these two to a T fuck

8. this side of paradise by coyote theory this song has big “two lonely people are in love with each other for the first time” vibes and OHHHHHHHHHH THAT’S JOTAKAK.... there are a lot of little lines that make me specifically think abt these two, such as “love so strong it makes me feel weak” (jotaro-core...), “if you’re lonely come be lonely with me”, “i’ll be yours if you’ll be mine” (wanting some security while ur in love for the first time is common but especially for these two i think it works spectacularly) but yea this song as a whole is just...ohhh them. theyre in lvoe HK;FNJFL

9. i saw you in a dream by the japanese house EVERY. SINGLE. LINE. OF THIS SONG IS POST-EGYPT JOTARO. EVERY SINGLE LINE. and the ghost the singer talks about seeing? they hadnt changed at all? they were such a pretty vision, a perfect hallucination? BRUH... just listen i could do a whole analysis on this song it all just fits jotaro mourning kakyoin throughout the years so so so so well it makes me feel nuts holy shit i just. literally every line. every line fits i am not joking. i cried when i first heard this song LMAO

10. video games by the young professionals SO LMAO obviously kakyoin’s epic gamer moves are being referenced but beyond that i interpret this song to just be the fun parts of being in love esp when ur young (backed up with the “kissing in the blue dark” and the “watching all our friends fall” lines). also the chorus just makes me want to cry cause just, happy jotakak moments PLEASE. “the world was built for two only worth living if somebody is loving you, and baby now you do” THEYRE NOT ALONE ANYMORE THEY FOUDN EACH OTHER IM GONAN WAILLLLLLL oh my god. im nuts theynkjNJKNJF also “i heard that you like the bad girls” please. these two shitty teenagers

11. ikanaide by sohta ft. yuki kaai this song is abt not wanting someone u love to leave u cause youll miss them obviously but also ur scared of how the time will change you and if it’ll make you unrecognizable eventually. big post-egypt jotaro vibes 😔 especially cause one part of the chorus translates to “i shouldnt cry, i shouldnt cry, but the truth is i want to say dont go” and im jus like OHHHHH NO IT’S JOTARO FINDING OUT KAKYOIN DIED jkfnNKJFNJDhkld

12. therefore you and me by eve ALRIGHT. god this song is one hell of a doozy. i interpret this song to mean being sincerely in love but youre in the wrong place/wrong time. considering the uh Whole Situation in part 3 there were definitely better times to fall in love for these two. jotaro and kakyoin try to be happy w the moments they do have (i think the second verse in particular adds to this sentiment what with the selfish ghosts part) but they want a better environment understandably so theyre also just kinda ignoring things until they can properly care for a relationship. but well...who knows if theyll live to make it to that better environment ):

13. mayonaka no door/stay with me by miki matsubara this song is a v sweet sentiment abt like “it’s not just heat of the moment!! i do care about u a lot!!” and asking the person u have feelings for to stick around. big kakyoin and jotaro vibes as it would be easy to call what they have a fling considering how relatively short of a timeframe they had but i genuinely think their relationship was deeper than just that and this song nicely reflects such. “jotaro and i will share a room cause we’re both students” fuckin head ass

14. a thousand years by sting oh sting.... so since sting is kakyoin’s favorite musician canonically i had to add one of his songs here as well but beyond just that i do think this song fits them!! it kinda gives me big “if not in this life, then the next” vibes which is a big uhhh thing for jotakak. they may be doomed to tragedy but the moments they have together make the tragedy worth enduring ironically i feel like this song is mostly from jotaro’s pov considering i dont think he ever completely got over kakyoin and this song def has that kinda sentiment but hey it fits them...

15. mr loverman by ricky montgomery SO FUNNY STORY i actually REALLY. REALLY didnt wanna add this song at first cause i felt it wouldve been...idk too cliche? i guess? and i was ALL kinds of picky when choosing songs for this playlist HOWEVER. eventually i relistened to it and read the lyrics while thinking specifically abt jotakak and it actually rlly does fit quite well KJDFN; another jotaro mourning song ): it’s not just the chorus tho the whole song fits jotaro immediately post-egypt but also i feel like some time around part 4 this sentiment would come back to him cause Yknow. Gays In Morioh and the mess of his family life back in america. it just aches for him cause while he’s happy josuke is happy he wishes he couldve had that for him and kakyoin too but yea jus ... them

16. you by petit biscuit an instrumental?? in a ship playlist?? yes that’s right much like mr loverman i was hesitant to put this song in cause it’s harder to justify since i dont rlly know much abt music (and not to b controversial but interpreting lyrics and interpreting music r two different things) however i really think the vibes of this song fit jotakak. it’s got a somber melody but the keys of the piano are high which im taking to mean “light in the dark” which. jotaro and kakyoin (along w the rest of the crusaders) were each other’s lights in the dark. also the ending samples a conference/lecture talking about space flight and like. star platinum. space symbolism. jotaro. yeah

17. saturn by sleeping at last MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. this song is all about losing someone very close and important to you, but reflecting on the good they brought into your life rather than the pain of losing them. this song also has HEAVY space imagery which stardust crusaders is absolutely chalk fucking full of so also it’s a very philosophical song and considering that jotaro and kakyoin are both Nerds and both got a nice view of the stars/space in the desert with each other, im sure they had conversations similar to the one highlighted in the song. i think it’s a good note to end the playlist on cause kakyoin is dead and jotaro is the survivor but it’s not a mourning song so much as jotaro taking the love he had for kakyoin and pushing forward with it allll th way into part 6

but yeah that’s the tracklist! i might add or take away a song or two but this is mostly it (: hope yall enjoy!

[thehuns-bubble-tea]

So guess who finally wrote the SaiZon essay I promised months ago! @there-is-a-carrot-in-my-ear’s post was the last bit of encouragement I needed so thanks for that lol.

I am going to go episode by episode to talk about all the SaiZon scenes. I am using the official LineTV episodes and some of the translations are a bit weird so I will have to occasionally make assumptions with the dialogue, sorry in advance for that. If I happen to assume wrong or make stretch conclusions forgive me for I only have one brain cell and it’s currently bouncing around my head like a window’s screensaver. I am also going to mention some of the behind the scenes episodes so if you haven’t seen those you might be slightly confused, but I don’t have international links for them so I apologize! Also this ended up being 18 pages long- I AM SORRY.

So let’s start with part one of episode one shall we? The beginning starts off weird as hell, honestly I had forgotten how crack this show was after the last few episodes were so- normal? Anyway we are dropped off in Zon’s dream(???) where he sees Tutor and Fighter being cute, and then an absolute precious Saifah- except it is really weird to start off here. This dream doesn’t seem to belong at the beginning because nothing that sets up this dream has happened yet, which I only realized as I rewatched it. Zon doesn’t know about Tutor and Fighter’s relationship until episode 11 and he doesn’t actually know Saifah yet, so to have Zon have this dream as the literal introduction to the show is a bit of either foreshadowing or referencing the idea that this whole show is a dream/Zol’s novel which I think is quite interesting. I don’t have much else to say about this besides I am incredibly impressed with how well this scene garners interest- it’s like I’m watching for the first time again and I /need/ to understand what is going on. Also the animated Zon freaking out about Saifah getting too close? Mood.

There was no SaiZon part in part two so moving on to part three of episode one! This part starts off with Saifah playing the guitar surrounded by a bunch of girls and Zon walking up from behind, seeing him. As much as I would like to say “love at first sight” this is definitely not that- in fact Zon straight up tells the girls they don’t like each other. Which is fair honestly, these two at the beginning don’t seem to have anything in common. Saifah is an engineering student while Zon is a english(literature???) student so they wouldn’t be able to get close through classes and they don’t seem to share many face value interests (Sai with guitar and soccer, Zon with writing and generally “nerdy” stuff) so it would be easy for them both to write each other off. Definitely not a “I hate him” but more of a “I don’t know him and I don’t want to” kinda situation where unless outside forces brought them together they wouldn’t have even considered entering each other’s lives. So shout out to Tutor and Soda for being mvps! This part also gives us the iconic moment of Zon literally standing on a table to fight Saifah and like??? Hello??? The tension already here is so much- but here’s the thing! Why R U has set up their relationship to be that of “enemies” up to this point, so when you first watch it you’re like “hm Sai is trying to get a rise out of Zon because he thinks it is funny because they hate each other” but what Sai says isn’t necessarily mean. Yes Sai does tease Zon about being bad at everything, but after that he just flutters his eyelashes, calls himself cute, and does that cute little smile up at Zon. There is no real hurt behind his words, if that makes sense? It is very much a teasing jeer at Zon to get a reaction, and the second Zon stands on the table Sai smiles and seems to take pride at the action. He isn’t doing it out of hatred or evil, but more like the joy of seeing Zon riled up. Sai blames his actions on disliking Zon because of reasons they’re currently only alluding to but like- bro get over it? There’s no reason for Sai to act like that if that was his only motive so I call his bluff, he has to already be somewhat interested in Zon. Even if it’s not a crush yet he definitely enjoys Zon’s reactions enough to keep pressing buttons. 

Finally the end of episode one with part four.  Finally! The, also iconic, punch to kiss scene! Sai is smooching the girl Zon is pursuing, it’s upsetting for Zon and Sai is kinda rude about it- then WHAM. Zon, the absolute unit that he is, just fucking decks Saifah. When I tell you I screamed- This is especially important because the thing that finally makes Zon snap is Saifah’s “no one can like you” comment which is so hurtful and man he’s gonna eat his words you can just /feel/ it already. And the punch is completely valid because what Sai did was shitty and honestly Zon had every right to be mad so great moment 10/10. Then we have Sai try to retaliate and first off he misses like a huge dork and then he kinda trips into Zon which leads to them accidentally kissing. Logistically I don’t know how this happened, but who am I to complain? This is of course also Sai’s first experience with a  Zontm reaction and that I think is what causes the shift in Saifah’s head. After that huge exposition piece we have Zon dreaming about Saifah in his bed talking about them being together. All I’m gonna say is- is it gay to dream about your not bro wanting to kiss you? The answer is probably yes.

No SaiZon for parts one or two of episode two, but part three gives us a bit to cover!  First off- the elevator line scene where Saifah literally stares at Zon with the absolute best puppy eyes and lovesick smile is peak cuteness, like?? Hello??? This is the perfect example of what I mean when I say SaiZon were never enemies- like I can’t imagine hating someone and then letting them shoulder bump me with a “hi”. That’s not how enemies act, this is more of a “well we haven’t always gotten along but I’m willing to move on, here let’s try again” type of situation and it’s fucking adorable. Sai seems confident in his own teasing way and Zon is confused as heck, which is so valid. Mind you this is also several months after their accidental kiss so any hot blooded emotions surrounding them has definitely dissipated which means there is now room for them to grow and initiate a friendship, which is what I assume Sai is trying to do. This is also the first time we get “my Zon” and I swear everytime I hear it I astral project into another dimension, so there’s that. Also Sai fulling embracing the fact that these girls ship them is peak bi confidence (I read Saifah as a bi character don’t @ me lmao), that I can only wish to have. Like Sai seems to already genuinely like being around Zon, lightly teasing. I say this because nothing he said was a dig at Zon harshly but more like something I would say about my friends to get them to give me a funny reaction and he gets exactly that. Zon gives him a reaction and then as soon as he’s gone Sai has this very pleased smile on his face. It really feels like Saifah has already decided that he wants to have some sort of relationship with Zon, at this point I wouldn’t call it a crush yet but more like a casual friendship. Then we have Zon daydreaming about Sai asking him to be partners for the music competition thing and again I’m going to ask- is it gay to daydream about your not bro pouting and wanting to be partners? The answer is probably yes. 

Part four of episode two gave us no SaiZon so we move on to part one of episode three! We get a tiny bit of animated Sai talking about flirting with Zon, Zon freaking out you know- the usual. But then we get the stair scene that haunts me. Sai has committed to calling Zon “my Zon” already and I am here for it. His fucking smile after he says it too- boy is enjoying himself. The two fight over whether or not Zon will play with Sai or not and progressively lean into each other’s spaces as they bicker back and forth. Which is valid- Zon doesn’t even know how to play and then to be asked to play with someone he doesn’t really know or get along with, I’d say no too. Anyway Tutor breaks them up drags Sai to class, but not before Sai can say goodbye to “N’Zon” which just really threw me and Zon to be honest. I love that Sai is fully committed to these nicknames and I love how flustered Zon gets because of them- they’re already starting to fall into an ease with each other. Quick note here Saifah tells Tutor that he likes teasing Zon because it makes him happy, which is kinda cute? We see Sai play around with Tor and Day a bit but the way he is with them is vastly different then when he’s with Zon. Again I wouldn’t quite call it a crush yet- but we’re getting there. For now it seems more like an enamoured fascination with this dork of a human. (also real quick side note but I love Soda and would gladly let her step on me--)

Part two of episode three gives us yet another iconic scene- I have dubbed it the gay painc shower scene for obvious reasons. First of all, props to Zon for even grabbing Sai’s towel for him. Like they might not be close, and Sai might tease Zon relentlessly, but Zon is a genuinely good person and I really like that about his character. He doesn’t even hesitate to ask “which one” so he can do that for Sai. But of course Sai has to be a little brat and try to pull Zon into the shower stall with him, causing Zon’s first almost heart attack. Then he crowds Zon up against the wall with the most sensual look and teases him by attempting to remove his towel, giving Zon almost heart attack number two- Sai is seriously a brat and I love it. The funniest part is that this, from my experience at least, is common locker room teasing which Zon clearly wouldn’t know since he’s not in the soccer club-  so having Sai do this to him is clearly a point where Zon’s single working braincell goes into gay panic and just short circuits his system and once again that’s valid. Zon tells Sai no matter what he won’t play with him, man these two eat their own words a lot huh, and Sai tells him it’s really up to him. Also side note here I know Junior did this in hopes of getting Sai to convince Zon to do the talent show thingy but I fully head cannon that Junior realizes there’s /something/ going on between them and forced them into this position, do with that what you will. There is also behind the scene footage of this scene (I can’t find an international link to this specific one rip) but it shows Jimmy and Tommy fake biting each other’s fingers and it’s so cute and weird- anyway all this to say I think this is where we start to see a shift in Saifah’s attitude. He’s the one who mentions being partners, mentions kissing, and Zon being a shy Korean drama lead- he’s a huge romantic so this is where he steps up a bit more. Instead of being just a tease in the way Zon acts it is now a tease about them together, being together, testing waters almost. It’s a huge shift if you really think about it, the only thing that stays constant is Zon’s flustered reactions. 

Part three of episode three once again delivers with panic gay Zon being a fucking dork. This is where we get that ridiculous moment in the bathroom when Zon thinks two dude are doing the do in a stall and presses Saifah into a wall, you know casually. This scene is so weird and just ??? why??? Saifah takes in all in stride though, this kid is seriously getting whipped quick and I relate. Zon just has such chaotic energy that it’s hard not to play along, no matter how mortifyingly embarrassing he is. Also can we talk about how every time Zon leaves an interaction with Saifah, Sai gets the biggest smile? Like that is so precious I can’t handle it, boy is WHIPPED and doesn’t even know it yet!

Part four gives us a little bit of SaiZon.  Zon is distracted by his text conversation (this is not translated so I have no clue what’s being said or who he’s talking to rip) when Saifah comes up behind him. This looks so domestic- like you don’t just do that to someone you barely know, right? Also the fact that Sai can lean over Zon so far when Zon is just sitting is stressful to me. Who gave him the right to be /that/ tall? Anyway Zon goes to stand and Saifah scares him, causing him to trip backwards and have the first of many time where Sai holds Zon up and it’s romantic as heck- They both instantly know where to hold each other, and then gaze at each other’s faces I just ??? I’m short circuiting honestly. This is also the first indication to me that Sai is developing some form of feelings because he keeps looking at Zon’s eyes and lips, and that’s valid. Of course Zon ruins the mood by pushing him away but they both look hurt this time. Sai looks hurt even asking if Zon’s serious about not playing together and it’s the first time we see Sai be any bit vulnerable. He seems to genuinely hurt by the idea and it makes Zon shuffle a bit before leaving. Even when he’s gone Sai looks upset and even comments on how Zon falls easily- which is really cute. This is our first glimpse at the Saifah that seems a bit more like the hopeless romantic we get towards the end of the series, a stark contrast to the overly confident perfect boy persona he uses around the campus. 

No SaiZon in part four of episode three or part one of four so on to part two-  We get the music partner reveal! And to Zon’s credit he doesn’t immediately turn around and leave. Instead he is actually committed to this and Sai, to his credit, doesn’t make him feel weird. They take the fan page photos and they’re both clearly out of their element here, they’re shy and awkward and it’s precious. They’re both coming to this realization that they’re really doing this- being partners and committing to each other basically. They both seem determined but also terrified of what that means. I love it- because this isn’t about them just yet but more of their shared responsibility to Soda now that they both can’t back down. It’s a good foundation because right now they’re on equal footing, neither really has the upper hand. Soda, my queen, to her credit is trying to get them to see that their arguing isn’t going to help anyone here and it’s a fair point. They’re going to be stuck together for two months (why was I under the impression this whole time it was much longer?)  and they both agree to at least attempt. I love how genuinely awkward these scenes are because like I’ve said before they were never enemies but also never friends, they don’t know much about each other yet so it’s weird. What do they talk about, what are their boundaries, they don’t know and I love it. It is the perfect foundation for a fresh start for both of them to learn about each other and build a strong bond. We get a bit of Sai trying to teach Zon guitar strings and it’s a nice moment. They’re both getting comfortable with the other and then Sai plays the love song for Zon- you think Zon’s going to be set off by the moment but instead he teases Sai! He confidently both compliments Saifah and teases, it’s growth! Then Saifah settles to help Zon learn to strum, a moment where they’re very intimately pressed together and have an almost kiss. This is the first time they do the lip bite thing that I noticed they do when they think about kissing the other- and this is the first time that I think they realize their feelings aren’t just basic acquaintances. For Zon he feels something but he is also hung up on the idea that this is all Zol’s book. He is scared because he doesn’t know if these moments, these feelings are real or not. For Saifah I think he is really starting to understand how he feels for Zon, but thinks that Zon doesn’t and will not feel the same. But Sai isn’t the type to push so he just lets it go for now. Then we get the cute montage of them getting closer and teasing in more of a friendly way- again this is just solidifying in our minds and theirs that there is something growing between them. Right now it’s just a natural friendship, but is also hinting at more deep feelings. This is the part that I love the most about SaiZon- this was never a love at first sight relationship, it is one born out of something incredibly natural. They grow into each other and themselves. We start to see Saifah get more comfortable with his dorky side, and Zon gets more confident in himself because of their time together. It’s a breath of fresh air how easily they settle into the other’s presence. And of course we also get the gay pining bed scene and I, for the third time shall ask is it gay to daydream about your new bro laying in bed with you? The answer is probably yes. 

Part three of episode four gives us the iconic guitar pick date (yes I understand I keep saying iconic but with SaiZon what isn’t?). This entire scene is just the cutest thing? They fall into each other so easily and they seem to have tons of fun goofing off. It reminds me of my friends and I going to shopping centers just to window shop and be together. It’s so incredibly natural and shows that they’re becoming so much closer then what they started out as. Nothing is over the top or unrealistic, instead it’s effortless and an absolute joy to witness. There’s even a deleted scene where two girls come up to ask for a photo (which is weird but whatever) and Zon gets so lost in his head about how close Saifah is- it really is a defining moment in my mind that Zon is torn. Torn between believing that his feelings are real and that this is all just being a dream from Zol’s novel. I kinda wish this scene hadn’t been deleted because it takes away from Zon’s internal struggle. When they have their little heart to heart and Zon admits that Sai is actually a good person my soul leaves my body. It is so cute and demonstrates that these two have started to grow past their initial judgements of each other and more into learning the intricacies of the other. Anyway it’s cute and I love them, moving on. 

Now on to part four of episode four. This gives us the scene that fully convinces me that Saifah is just a big softly. Sai walks into the practice room to see a mess and Zon is asleep on the floor. Instead of being a brat and waking him up, Sai quietly goes around and cleans everything up because he is peak soft boy he just won’t admit it. When he does accidentally wake Zon they’re both just absolute cuties- the way Sai’s face falls when Zon said he was just kidding about wanting to wait for him- my boy is WHIPPED. But here’s the thing, and I’ll come back to this point in a bit but, the way Sai never pushes Zon on anything. It’s clear that Sai is really starting to crush on Zon the way he treats him and acts but any time Zon pulls away Sai just lets him. That’s so refreshing, especially in contrast to the way TorFight act in parallel to SaiZon. There is never an expectation for Zon to meet Sai’s desires and Sai takes only what Zon is willing to offer, and I appreciate it so much. Anyway their little collective panic when Sai tries to take Zon to his room is hilarious they’re both on such different pages and they really are just dorks. And then we have the typical in the rain sequence- oh my gosh- I love some good classic tropes and this is one of them. Once again we see Saifah just be an absolute romantic, he doesn’t even hesitate to take off his jacket to cover Zon and himself. I just- that’s peak romance for me my dudes. Both me and Sai are whipped and that’s just facts. Then Zon (somehow??) forgets how to stand on two legs and trips yet again and we have another close contact scene, but this time there noses touch and Zon’s reaction isn’t nearly as visceral as it has been- it’s almost like he likes the attention up until his mind thinks it’s too close to a novel and he gets scared. 

On to episode five’s part one! Zon is finally in Sai’s room and we get the cute hair drying scene that Zon doesn’t appreciate as much as I do- anyway Zon is freaking out and Saifah doesn’t fully understand what he’s babbling on about but still gets his chance to tease. It is once again cute and effortless, I crave more of this (SaiZon special episode I’m looking at you). Sai is getting a bit more confident with his advances but always pulls back the moment Zon freaks, it’s completely them. And then we get them waking up in each other’s arms, the screaming, Zon being an absolute moron. This is why these two are /the/ couple for me. Like no one else could pull this scene off nearly as well as them, it’s great. Also Saifah pulling a 2Moons2 Kit and just yeeting Zon off the bed? Iconic, that’s it that’s the analysis. 

Part two of episode five has a moment that’s not a SaiZon scene but I do feel like it’s important in their relationship- Zol tells (well lies but Zon doesn’t know that-) about changing the story after their promise/wish/curse. This is the point where Zon can finally take what he has been experiencing and feeling in for the first time with a clear head. It’s no longer “possibly” influenced by supernatural forces because of Zol. This is when Zon decides “oh this is real, these feelings are real”, and you can tell that the way Zon acts around Saifah is considerably more calm and open to Saifah’s advantages to a point. Occasionally he still talks about it everything being similar to a fiction but he isn’t held back by it nearly as much. Then we get SaiZon practicing in the music room again and being interrupted by Natee and Junior, they kinda make Zon nervous about the show- until Saifah steps in. He confidently tells Zon he believes in him and that he will be there for him and I just- oh my god?? That’s so soft and I swear Saifah is the biggest soft boy ever who is willing to do anything to lift Zon up and that’s precious. They really are slowly starting to get on the same page. 

Moving on to episode six part two (this is where we start to see less SaiZon due to the pandemic limiting their filming time)! This episode gives us Zon asking Sai on a guitar buying date. And lemme tell you the way these two act? WHIPPED. They both get so shy and tease the other the perfect amount, they really have grown into each other in ways I don’t think any of us expected. The cute little happy dance they do when they agree and hang up? Boyfriends, just like ??? hello??? Mind you they agree to go the Saturday before the show so they have now spent almost the full two months together- I can’t even believe it. They have had this relationship grow for two months and we’ve only been able to see glimpses, just imagine what we don’t get to see! Anyway we see Saifah being peak baby all bundled up sharing headphones with Zon- which is like peak romance for me I won’t even apologize. And then the pure excitement Saifah has when Zon suggests he stays over at Saifah’s- WHIPPED. He even suggests that there might be something between them when Zon questions their closeness, but the moment Zon wants to change the subject Sai follows his lead, like I’ve mentioned before Sai is not one to ever push Zon for more because he respects Zon so much. 

Part three of episode six gives us the rooftop scene! The lingering looks! “The stars are beautiful.”, “It is beautiful-” as Saifah looks at Zon with those soft eyes! THE GAYS ARE PINING. And then them playing together. I am crying??? I can’t even form sentences, I can’t analyze, I just am going to sit here for a moment and think about how this romance is goals. That’s it. 

Part four is full of SaiZon just being huge teases. Saifah confidently pulls Zon into him, asking if Zon is afraid of falling in love with him and I just- the way Zon looks at Sai? He’s already in love, and no I don’t take criticism. That’s it, that’s the analysis. 

Part one of episode seven is the scene that made me want to write this essay- we have Zon and Saifah in the most intimate scene yet for them. It really is just a back and forth between them that is simple and wholly them. And then it shifts- Zon is looking at Saifah so softly, and is easily going along with what Saifah is doing with no hang ups. Saifah is looking up at Zon like he’s hung the stars and it’s the perfect moment. “You’re being so obedient, be like this more often. I like it”, “I like it too”, even the music is just perfect, but right at the last second Zon looks away. “I didn’t mean I like you.” and Saifah clearly looks disappointed, everything leading up to this was pointing in this direction and it didn’t happen. Saifah very clearly has feelings, he isn’t even trying to be subtle anymore, but not once does Saifah push for more. He backs off and settles down into a level that matches Zon’s comfort zone, because he cares about Zon’s comfort more than his own feelings. They have a moment for the comfort to level out once again and then they’re back to their usual selves. They’re back onto an equal field where they’re both just being themselves together- and they have another almost kiss that Sai does try to play off. Zon is still a bit spooked but it is still another testament to Saifah’s respect of Zon’s boundaries. This is where yet another deleted scene happens that I desperately wish they kept- it shows Zon fast asleep grab at Saifah until he’s completely draped over him. Saifah holds him, very similarly to a scene we will get to shortly, and the smile on Sai’s face? This boy is so in love but also so careful with Zon’s limitations, that just being able to hold Zon is enough to put him at ease. And we were ROBBED of it. Why R U editors turn on your location, I just wanna talk-

Part two of episode seven gives us the most cursed scene that, like Zon, I wish I could forget. There’s nothing inherently wrong with it but the second hand embarrassment is excruciating so for the sake of my sanity I’m gonna kinda gloss over it? Zon sees Sai’s boner, it causes Zon’s single brain cell to explode, that’s it- MOVING ON. On the bright side it also gives us SaiZon’s first public performance together. I assume this is to hype up the actual show, I don’t really care, all I care about is how earnest Saifah is with Zon. Zon is terrified of performing and Saifah is there to cheer him on. He is willing to let Zon leave if it means Zon will be more comfortable and he genuinely doesn’t want to push Zon into anything. Zon finally calms down enough to agree to stay and sing- and then Saifah starts rubbing his hands to give some comfort. The dialogue in this scene will forever go down as one of my favorite exchanges ever- “Are you okay with having me beside you?” SAIFAH HONEY. This one sentence holds everything in it. Is it okay that Saifah tried to kiss him? Is it okay that he got turned on? Is it okay that Saifah clearly has some sort of feelings for Zon? AND ZON SAYS YES. I just, I will never recover. It’s a very cute moment that they share, a sort of understanding that they share now that doesn’t really change what they have already, just gives some clarity to their current situation. And then the performance they give? It’s wonderful. What more can I say?

And now we’re getting to the good stuff- episode eight, part one. Sai is able to sneak read a bit of Zon’s writing, Sai trying to make himself look not suspicious is so funny, but the absolute angle Zon lets him get away with it. Then they have a cute back and forth about Sai wanting to sleep over at Zon’s place, it’s precious and shows that since the last time Zon seems a bit more comfortable with the obvious flirting and even does some himself. “Otherwise I’ll kiss you.” Saifah being bold as fuck and Zon not running away? That’s what we call growth! Then when Saifah is actually at Zon’s home and they’re telling his parents about the music show they are in full support, Zon’s mother and Saifah both teasing him about his name’s meaning. It’s light hearted and fun and I appreciate how cool Zon’s parents seem to be with their son’s and Saifah’s relationship (thus far). But them being so okay with his joining the music show compared to how unsupportive about his writing hurts, both me and Zon. When they’re in his room Zon is visibly upset with how his parents have handled his passions and Saifah is doing his best to cheer him up. Giving him some comfort, and this is where he admits to reading a few chapters of Zon’s fiction and Zon looks shattered. He is so afraid it’s bad because no one will support him, encourage him until Saifah tells him he actually liked it. That if he wants to keep writing he can count on Saifah to read it and it’s so touching because Zon finally has someone who believes in him. They have this really longing moment of just staring into each other’s eyes and it’s so soft and just full of pining. EXCEPT once again there’s a deleted scene we were ROBBED of. (Why R U’s editing team is out to hurt me apparently) In the deleted scene there was supposed to be a kiss to end the longing stares, this would be their first real kiss. And as much as I would have /loved/ that I can understand wanting the other scene being /the/ moment, but it doesn’t make me wish this scene hadn’t been cut any less. 

The next three parts of episode eight I’m going to talk about in one piece because it is basically one long scene that’s just cut into parts. (Part 2, Part 3, Part 4) We have finally gotten to /the/ moment they’ve been leading up to this entire show, the music performance. When we start Zon is asleep and Saifah has arrived with food, trying to wake him up and only successful when he manages to kinda kiss Zon. They bicker a bit in their normal way, Zon whines about wanting an egg and Saifah gives his up happily. It's freaking adorable and the quality content I signed up for. Soda puts them in their performance outfits. They have a weird little fashion show that just makes me love Tommy and Jimmy with all my heart, you know the usual. And then the time gets closer to their performance- Zon is, rightfully, nervous and is having a little breakdown in front of Saifah who is trying his absolute best to calm him down. It’s a touching scene because you can tell that Sai doesn’t really know what to do to help but is seriously trying, and then Zon asks for some encouragement. Saifah wrapping his arms around Zon and hugging him is a scene that I will never recover from. Saifah is so confident in Zon’s skills and very clearly wants to perform with Zon that he’s willing to just hold the nervous kid in his arms until he calms down. It’s really touching and romantic and just perfect. It does the trick and they’re able to perform without a hitch. (I would like to say at this point I have been working on this essay for two days and have decided to throw alcohol into the mix so if I start going off the rails- whoops?) The actual concert is super lovely, like Tommy can sing don’t even @ me because I could listen to these two sing and nothing else and I would be completely happy with that, and when they go to do their thank you speeches my heart swells. Hearing Zon heartfully thank Saifah for doing this with him and then to hear Saifah ask every one to cheer for “my zon” one more time, it’s the pinnacle of romance. I don’t even think that they know how it looks to an outside viewer because they’re so lost in their own world. To them this wasn’t about the concert anymore but them proving themselves to each other, something so meaningful to them because without this moment being the huge lead up they would never have been anything more than people who shared mutual friends and “hated” each other. Without this concert neither would have taken steps to bring them closer, to this peak. And that is exactly what the concert is, it’s their peak because it’s the tipping point for their relationship. Any hesitation from either at this point would break it all down. And so when the two of them head backstage and they have this magical moment- this is it. Zon is complaining about the strings hurting his fingers so Sai softly blows on them to soothe the pain, it’s simple, quiet, and breathtaking. “Why are you so nice to me?” It's such a simple question, Zon’s eyes are filled with stars and he might not thinking that he’s going to get a good answer. “Because you already have my heart.” That’s it. Nothing Saifah could have said would top this. It leaves no questions, this is it for Saifah- he is throwing in everything at this moment and Zon just stares at him. He doesn’t flinch at the kiss Saifah leaves on his forehead, instead he puts his hands on Saifah’s cheeks and pulls him closer so he can kiss his nose. It’s not words that either need now because they just understand. They’ve taken the chance and it’s real now. Them just brushing noses in comfort is enough, but then they go all out. They /finally/ have their first /real/ kiss and it’s a culmination of everything they’ve been through and felt up until this point. I’m sure everyone has seen the behind the scenes clip of the pd calling them out for not following the script. Supposedly it wasn’t supposed to be so passionate but more of a quick peck, but this- what they gave us was nothing short of perfection. This kiss is a solidifier for everyone, especially Zon who has struggled internally this whole time about whether this is real or not. This is a confirmation that Zon’s feelings, now I might be reading a bit too into it/self projecting onto Zon, are valid. Zon and Saifah, as far as we know (I haven’t read the novel either btw), are presumably perceived as straight hell they may have thought they were straight up until they developed feelings for each other. Saifah develops his feelings confidently, he isn’t ashamed or shy about them. Like everything else in his life he takes it and makes it his own and that is completely valid. But for Zon it is a struggle the whole way through. He’s scared and he overthinks, over analyzes everything, and shys away from Saifah’s advances until now- a common theme found in many unsure/closeted queer kids. And THAT is also valid. They’re both so completely different and yet they fit together in ways that I don’t even think they knew was possible. The way they play off each other, can read the other, knows what to do or say- it’s the perfect amount of them. 

Episode nine is purely TorFight and part one of episode ten gives us only crumbs of SaiZon, but they are crumbs I would die for. It’s a couple of minutes of a sleepy Zon being cuddled by Saifah. Nothing fancy, nothing overly sexual, just the domestic bliss of these two holding each other. Once again it’s a testament to how made they are for each other. In any other drama (and I say this with affection to all the other bls I have consumed) this wouldn’t fly- this slow progression isn’t the norm for these types of shows and that’s why it’s so damn refreshing. Saifah in all his suave bad boy persona, is truly just a hopeless romantic that wants to hold his boyfriend in his arms for as long as he wants. Zon for all his shy avoidance of anything romantic, just enjoys having Saifah by his side. There is no one party pushing for more, no one party aggressively making moves that are unwanted. It’s just these two content in taking it slow and basking in the warmth of it, 

Again for episode eleven we only get a little bit of SaiZon in part four, but that’s fine. It’s especially fine because it’s like every good sick fic I’ve ever read put into canon. Need I say more? It’s soft and cute, Saifah being a whiny sick baby while Zon takes care of them is peak devastation. I really have nothing to say here except thinking about this scene gives me a hundred and one fic ideas and melts my cold dead heart. Moving on. 

Episode twelve has a bit of SaiZon but outside of them being totally whipped and wearing matching outfits to the beach I don’t have anything to say? Like I could just scream about the fact that they’re cute but if you’ve made it this far I would hope you already know that, so I’m gonna carry on to episode thirteen- hope you don’t mind!

The finale- episode thirteen. Once again I’m going to just talk about it as a whole rather than split it up because this episode also follows like one central moment in time rather than having huge time breaks in between. (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4) Now we can get into the quintessential moments that define why I think SaiZon is one of the most superior relationships in media I’ve ever consumed. We are thirteen episodes in, we know these characters. They have grown into each other in front of us and this episode shows it in such a poetic way. When Sai and Zon get to their room at the hotel Sai is quick to tease Zon about his “duty” (for future reference if I ever hear someone say duty in reference to sex I might just cry) that night and of course in typical Zon fashion he gets a little antsy. But it doesn’t stop there like it would have earlier, instead Zon uses his nerves to turn the tables. He initiates a kiss with Saifah! Leaving both Saifah and I stunned in the process before teasing and dragging him out for their cute little beach date montage. Now mind you I am gay and love the beach so this shit hits hard for me. Like they’re being your typical love sick characters, Saifah stealing a few cheek kisses to Zon’s surprise, they goof off on a boat(?), they have those dumb couples clothes on- it’s really over the top cute like what else can I say. You want proof love exists? Here you go. Anyway they’re cute, it’s lovely, moving on. They have, I can only imagine this as a very strange double date, dinner with TorFight some bickering happens- again your typical drama moment it’s not too special. Until we get back to the bedroom. Now I have seen a lot of queer media in my life and with that comes your natural tropes (I say tropes fondly because I tend to like most tropes), and that’s what I was expecting. But no, I have never seen anything so purely born out of natural instinct and emotion in my life. Saifah sitting at the edge of the bed strumming a nameless song out of nerves, Zon trying to get his attention in the dorkiest way possible. Once again this is so totally and utterly /them/. I can’t picture anyone doing the way they did, selling that natural awkwardness that comes from your first time with someone you love? Fuck man. Saifah is finally all out of the confidence he normally has, instead he’s avoiding Zon and the prospect of the night by playing the guitar. It makes sense too because this is his first time doing this with someone that he loves, and his first time with a guy which is another added layer of nerves. It’s a lot for both of them, but Zon seems to be actually interested now- finally starting to make moves himself because he knows for a fact Sai isn’t going to push in fear of spooking Zon. And then we get the real moment that really changes everything, “You have music in your heart, don’t you want to have Zon in your heart?” This is it- this is the moment they’ve both been waiting for. Zon already has Saifah’s heart, he has for a while I believe, but this question is what tells Sai that Zon is ready too. They want the same thing, each other. Now we get one of the best build ups I have ever experienced. If you're watching just at face value it might seem a bit strange but every action is deliberate. @spookshowenilorac and I have this running theory that Zon doesn’t close his eyes during some kisses because he is afraid that if he does it will all disappear, it’ll be just a dream from Zol’s fiction (and anytime one of us mentions it I tear up). He’s been so afraid for so long and this moment does feel like it’s out of a dream, it’s overwhelming in passion and over thinking. But the moment Zon accepts it as real it progresses. Mind you, as I’m sure you already know, the tongue in these kisses was not scripted. This is purely Tommy and Jimmy giving this scene and these characters everything they had. It just feels right, after everything these two have been through, and to not have that level of intimacy would have left this scene hollow. The passion and dedication Mii2 gave SaiZon is unparalleled. But that’s not it is it? No, they take it even farther. The promises they make each other? “I promise that I will only have you.” “I’ll give in only to you.” The unscripted tears and voice crack? Nothing can or will top that. I’m sorry but that is /love/. This isn’t based on lust or desire or just purely passion, what Saifah and Zon have is so palpable you can almost feel it. I don’t think any words in our universe can explain the raw emotion that just envelopes this scene in particular. And to know half of it was unscripted and Mii2 just felt like this was what was needed, what the characters would have done is so validating? Just knowing that both Tommy and Jimmy see it too, how this scene needed to play out this way in order for Sai and Zon to have their story complete is unprecedented. Again I wish I had the words to describe it better but I just don’t, so I hope you can understand at least the surface level of what I’m trying to get at here. Anyway let’s move on before I combust by the pure emotions in the bed scene to the next bed scene! This is where Zon and Saifah wake up the morning after, and when I say this is yet again peak devastation I am not kidding. They’re so bright and loving with each other in their typical teasing manner. Saifah steals a cheeky kiss from Zon and demands a kiss on his cheek, of course Zon tries to mess around refusing, then kissing, then refusing when Sai asks for more. It’s light hearted and the emotional levity we all needed. Especially with the dazed look Zon has, I think here is when he fully understands and accepts that Saifah and this feeling isn’t a dream. This is real and his to keep. The passion between them hasn’t died down but their relationship isn’t solely based on it being so aggressive either. They excel in these in between moments, the give and take of both a teasing joke and a desire to be together. It’s not as primal as the love TorFight have, but that doesn’t make either any less valid. It’s the fact that they’re such vastly different relationships that makes me admire this show more. The contrast between the two really highlights that no two relationships are the same, just like no two people are the same and that’s a wonderful message. Moving on from that very domestic scene we get the beach kissing scene (yes I’m skipping a tiny bit because I have nothing to say about SaiZon walking in on TorFight besides gay solidarity baby!). First of all I wanna point out that their outfits are peak gay culture, like I can see @travelersmindpalace and I wearing the exact same outfits during our next beach date and it /hurts/. This is also where I point out that I have a weak spot for height differences and holy shit does SaiZon deliver. The way Zon has to kinda tippy toe to kiss Sai or have Saifah lean down a bit- I’m whipped. They also thank each other for coming into their lives and I had to pause for a good few minutes to have a nice little cry over that. Like??? How??? How are they so pure and sweet after everything- I really can’t fathom it. And they do that soft little nose bump thing before they kiss- my gay heart can really only take so much of this without crying over them. They truly are the pinnacle of relationship goals. I don’t know how else to say that? They really just are so encouraging of each other, the boundaries they set up are respected, there’s never a moment of an imbalance of power, they just have a healthy relationship that’s based on trust and understanding. I hope in the in the future we get more shows depicting a relationship like this.

This was a lot and I am sorry for the word dump?? If you made it this far I love you and I beg you to scream about SaiZon with me- and with that I’m done!

[boggirlsummer]

Wet Hot American Summer

August 18 Zoey and I thought we fixed the leak in my tent but we were wrong. I spent the early morning inching away from a puddle that finally pushed me out around 8 am - time to get up anyway. Too rainy to cook or make coffee and I left camp aimlessly. I could barely see anything through the smoke and clouds which threw a wrench in my non-plan to drive around and take photos out the car window. Grand Tetons and Montana and Wyoming were up there on my teenage bucket list (lmao, dream big!), mostly for the landscapes and western vibes and maybe a few cathartic renditions of Wide Open Spaces. I just hiked all summer so I feel like I earned a few days of all-american automobile tourism.

Cozy

Decision fatigue is a ball buster on solo trips (and in life) and sometimes I refuse to change course even when it’s clear that a plan isn’t going to work out. I drove around Tetons alternately listening to the directions and making random navigational decisions, so Google kept yelling at me to make a u-turn. Eventually I got annoyed with both of us and stopped for snacks at the general store. I’ve been making my way through all the kettle chip flavors and so far honey dijon is the best and korean bbq is the worst.

Drove straight through to Yellowstone hoping the storm would let up, but by the time I got there it was 50 degrees with rain expected all afternoon. I thought it would be SUMMER once I left the Bay Area, so all my sweaters and warm jackets are in vacuum sealed bags that I don’t have the space in my car to open. I wasn’t loving the idea of being wet and cold in Yellowstone all night so I talked the campground lady into refunding my site reservation and headed for Big Sky, Montana.

I felt bad leaving without seeing any of the Yellowstone sights so I stopped at Old Faithful on my way out. I knew laughably little about what I was looking at and when a bunch of people started gathering I thought to myself, is this thing gonna explode or something?? And ya turns out that’s the entire point, it shoots a bunch of water and steam into the air every few minutes. I bought a cup of coffee and watched halfheartedly. The only other attraction I know about is the rainbow glory hole and there was so much traffic to park in the lot I said screw it and went on to Montana.

No LTE between Yellowstone and Big Sky and I was without a place to sleep - luckily my sister was available to do some emergency concierge work for me. I eventually found a nice campground near town but the obscene number of bear country warning signs freaked me out. I backtracked to Big Sky to buy a $50 can of bear spray, what a rip. Feeling beat today so I made it up to myself with a bowl of chicken curry ramen and a Sapporo. It was no nugget curry, but it did the job ☺️

Reading the bear spray instructions before bed - you’re supposed to use it once a charging bear is two to three seconds from reaching you. Wtf. I can’t do anything in two seconds. Finished Year of the Monkey at last. Almost fell asleep with a candy wrapper in my pocket, instant death. Also I got my period and I’m worried this is going to attract the bears.

August 19 I broke my own rule. I drove to Bozeman this morning and had a chicken fried steak at the Western Cafe, “The Last Best Cafe.” I had a nice chat with two old guys at the bar, initiated by ME! We talked about my trip so far and books (I was reading Walden Two and one of the guys had Woman in the Window with him, and we agreed that both authors are pretty nuts). Good time all around and then one of them secretly bought my breakfast 🥰 I’ve only ever had creepy men buy me drinks at bars so free CFS with no strings attached was a revelation. My smile lit up the cold dark streets of Bozeman.

Too early for hostel check-in so I killed some time hanging out in a coffee shop and wandering around Main Street. When I’m alone in a new city I usually get on the apps, it’s fun to hang out with a real LOCAL and have an AUTHENTIC experience. I did this on my first night in Sydney last year and my date won $7,000 at a bar raffle he’d been going to every week for three years and then bought us a night’s worth of top shelf shots, bad coke, and dumplings. Obviously I was his good luck charm so I should’ve gotten a cut of that $$$ but whatever… Eventually we went back to his depressing loft outside of the city. It was barely furnished and full of his shitty art and luckily he didn’t have any condoms so I was able to decline sex without feeling guilty (I had condoms of course but didn’t disclose). He tried to fuck me again around 4 am and I was so confused I thought he must have found a condom while I was briefly sleeping. He had not. I snuck out at 6 am and caught the bus back to the city. Not the most restful night but nice to get away from the hostel for a little while. But ya I updated my Hinge location to Bozeman and got hella conservative men swiping on me 🥴 My profile isn’t anything crazy but I don’t think I’m giving off Megyn Kelly vibes. Are they playing some sort of sexual bingo? Are they out to stealth me? Seems sus.

If you are a man on Hinge with a naked photo on your profile I WILL screenshot it and I WILL make a collage of my collection once I have enough material and I WILL sell it as a NFT and I WILL make $0 cuz y’all are freaks. This is the tamest one I’ve got, text me if you want a photo of a naked man covering his junk with a pineapple.

Ooooieee hostel is grungy and subterranean and not the kinda place you want to spend many conscious hours in. I took myself to the movies to escape - another thing I really missed last year. I saw The Night House, which I would describe as an architectural horror? I’ve been thinking about architecture a lot lately, this cool site Zoey sent me has some interesting interviews and stuff. In the movies I ate an entire bag of sour gummy worms and a box of junior mints.

Had a freaky bookstore experience earlier today, not the first time this summer. I originally wrote a longgg paragraph about synchronicity here but I got self conscious and started wondering if hearing other people’s stories about synchronicity is like listening to them talk about their dreams. I personally love talking about dreams (call me and tell me about your crazy dreams!!) but things definitely get lost in translation and sometimes they’re straight boring (like when my old coworkers and I used to dream in Excel, fucckkk). So I get why people find it annoying and here at Bog Girl Summer we can’t afford to alienate any of our readers. All I will say is that I walked into a bookstore today with synchronicity very much on my mind, went to the psychology section to buy a baby Jung text, and there saw a literal sign that said “Staff Pick, Introductory Jung: Synchronicity.” So yes, I bought it. Don’t forget y’all - I have a psychology degree so please don’t come after me about confirmation bias and all that lol. It’s very possible that in this summer of upheaval I’m desperate for some kinda sign that I’m on the right path. Let me have this one 😘

I also bought this postcard which spoke to me because most days I feel like I’m trying to drink out of a firehose

[weeb-writings]

alisa teaching lev incorrect russian phrases

a certain groupchat im in with so many beautiful people has brought this idea to my attention. most definitely something i canon abt the two siblings now, i totally see it. 

special thanks to: @sarido275​ for this idea!! i love this so much and i hope this meets your expectations- 

warnings: swearing, a fight btwn siblings, also this is relatively long for a hc so brace yourself

genre: crack, fluff, angst? if you squint-

synopsis: lev’s (gorgeoues, beautiful, pretty, amazing, cute) sister, alisa, teaches lev russian phrases... except its all backwards...  

i used a couple websites: a b 

a/n: im writing a longer oneshot (haechan x reader) so this is something ive been working on, on the side. i hope you like whatever the frick frack this is-  

if you have any requests, shoot them in my dms or ask box! if you have any constructive criticism, let me know what i can fix and how! thank you uwu

*breathes* okay, this is straight up crack, like 

i literally see this happening btwn the two siblings, where lev’s sister alisa ends up teaching lev russian phrases with the incorrect translations 

she’s such a sweetie pie i dont see her intentionally teaching lev the incorrect translations for stuff- so yes,

with the power of google and tumblr i present to you: lev walking around like an idiot :) (i love him v much tho and hes baby all the way) 

okay lets start with the “basics” 

first off is хуй (pronounced: hooy), and it means dick 

omg i what am i writing 

okay so like, yaku probably does something nice for alisa (meaning he puts lev in check bc lev is stoopid)

and alisa decides to thank him like “you have such a big hooy yaku~~” 

and everyone on nekomas vbc team looks at the two siblings like ????? what did she just say 

and lev looks at her and she goes “hooy means heart!!” 

omfg not only lev, but all of nekoma is using this word now and its so bad bc they all say it so confidently whose gonna tell them- 

and like, whenever someone does anything remotely nice lev will tell them that they “have such a big hooy” and that they are so kind and that he appreciates them 

which ultimately, this term rubs off on karasuno and fukorodani (specifically hinata and bokuto) 

quite literally a term that spreads like wildfire and they all use it so mindlessly eye- 

okay, next term: Трахни тебя (pronounced: poshyol ty), and it means: fuck you (omg i hate writing swears bc lev is involved and he is BABY I CANNOT-) 

okay but alisa and lev are most likely parting ways early in the morning, and he is going to a summer week camp for vb practice (w the boys ayyy) omg i hate myself so much 

but like, she probably wants to say something along the lines of “i love you” but she ends up saying fuck you (dw, i checked and its the aggresive kind, no not the kinky aggresive just straight up like a screw you) pls i hate that im making this more awkward by the second 

okay but like, hes probably leaving in the morning and shes like “poshyol ty” and he kind turns back, confused look on his face 

and hes like “whats that mean????” and shes like, with a bright smile, “it means I LOVE YOU” and he repeats it a few times

and this poor bby uses this ALL the mcfreaking time now

yaku is abt to kick him? “pls stop poshyol ty” 

kuroo wants to give him shit for sucking at blocking? “im sorry but dont forget poshyol ty” 

omg KENMA WHEN HES MAD “kenma im so sorry youre the best pls poshyol ty” 

so it probably circulates around the team, and by now all of the nekoma vbc are using this on one another ALL the time

again, its something picked up by other teams 

i.e: bokuto to akaashi, hinata to kags, and it even reaches oikawa, who uses it on iwa, satori to ushijima (bye these r ships) 

but finally, poor alisa thought that by saying Отыебис от меныа (pronounced: otyebis ot menya) she was saying “your presence is nice” but in reality she was saying “get the fuck away from me” 

omg pls this is so terrible someone tell her-

but like anyways, when she says it so him, its when hes upset bc the whole team is upset at him bc he almost made the team lose

aka putting them at risk for his shitty blocking skills

and hes like “no one likes me, no one wants to be around me” 

and alisa is like: “hey, otyebis ot menya, and if its from me, they even appreciate you too :)”

and he asks her to explain the meaning to him and shes like “it means i appreciate your presence” 

and so he cheers up, and goes to practice the next day

and he apologises to everyone and then goes, “as much as i suck otyebis ot menya” 

like ????? and everyone appreciates it!! like >.< omg i hate this 

but in general, another phrase that spreads like wildfire!! 

at this point, everyone thinks hes a sweetheart (and dumbass) whos using loving terms with his team and friends!!

now, onto the “swear words” 

which, in reality, are words/phrases with positive meanings :( 

ah i really hope someone tells everyone wassup w these terms

but, lets start w this beautiful term: Я верю в тебя (pronounced: ya veryu v tebya)

this means: i believe in you (and reader, i believe in you, you can do anything you put your mind as long as it doesnt harm you or anyone)

but anyways, this is probably a term that slips out during a fight btwn the two siblings

is it weird that i cant imagine them fighting often, or at all- 

okay anyways, back to the hc

theyre probably fighting about how lev left his dirty laundry in the br after the shower, or how he left his dishes on the dining table and how he isnt necessarily cleaning up after himself

and shes tired of it, so she starts yelling at him

and shes like “oh my god! youre so useless! veryu v tebya” 

and he kinda stops saying anything back and stares at her c o n f u s e d

and shes like ?? whatre you looking so lost for

and hes like, what does that mean

and shes like, it means that you arent capable of anything. 

so this poor boy thinks that the term “i believe in you” now means “you arent capable of anything” 

when kenma, kuroo, and yaku treat him a little meaner on a bad day, he’ll be sure to mumble it under his breathe

when he blocks hinata’s spike, hes sure to yell it out proudly, and everyone kinda is like ???? 

and so he explains what it means, and 

hinata isnt phased by the fact that lev just called him incapable bc poor bby got to learn another russian phrase 

and then kenma puts two and two together and realizes what levs been calling him

*insert a mad kenma* 

*insert a mad kuroo*

*insert a mad yaku* 

okay but srsly the whole nekoma vbc starts using this term to clown lev when he messes up!!

in reality, everyones the clown bc theyre using the wrong term altogether

another term lev would learn from alisa, would be Мой милый ангел (pronounced: moy miliy angel) 

and what alisa thinks it means is : you are not an angel/youre a fallen angel/youre the devil 

bc like some languages dont have a term for something, so they use another term and then the word not in front of it, so alisa assumes thats what it is 

so she just assumes this word is something to call someone a devil or basically imply theyre a bad person 

this term slips out from alisa, when someone says a comment about lev during a game, 

ooooo lets say the nekoma vs. nohebi game to make it to nationals 

and someone says something along the lines of lev being a terrible blocker

from across the court

and out of nowhere 

alisa is like “hes better than you! moy miliy angel” 

poor bby thought she was defending her brother

okay she was but still- 

you know what i mean 

but anyways, everyone looks at her 

and she just shrugs it off bc she doesnt owe anyone an explanation

but after the game, yaku’s younger sister brings it up in front of them

and she explains to everyone that it means a devil 

and theyre all like ?? 

alisa saying something mean- this is new

but in her defense it was bc she was standing up for her brother

as she should- 

but on a real note, lev adopts this term to roast people during plays and makes them confused hehehe their faces r funny bc they get so lost and bam nekoma scores

a term that kageyama adopts

he expands his vocab when hes mad at hinata from boke, to boke and moy miliy angel 

tanaka probably uses this term on people who piss him off

imagine him saying it w his buddha face LMAO

but lastly, a term that lev would learn from alisa is Радость моя

this term is pronounced as radost moya

it means “my joy” 

so, when alisa is stressing over something (maybe hw, maybe over the fact that lev keeps making a fool of himself in front of yakus sister) 

she’s like muttering under her breath, 

“this is gonna be the death of me, ugh why is this radost moya“ 

like LMAO she thinks this term means terrible, or my bad luck

no sweetie its the opposite

its just so funny, lev hears her and she explains the term

so he begins to use it all the time

and i mean ALL THE TIME

when he cant block? radost moya. when someone reminds him that he isnt the ace? radost moya. 

so, when bokuto is in emo mode, lev is like radost moya, its just bl (ha if your mind went to boy-) bad luck

and bokuto is immediately out of his emo mode bc he is LEARNING a new term from his fave russian teacher uwu

but again, a term that spreads like wild fire

this is what kags calls hinata, iwa to oikawa, and semi to shirabu

overall, alisa teaching lev incorrect russian phrases, is lev teaching the whole of anyone who plays volleyball ever incorrect russian phrases

these humans look like straight up clowns 

i CaNnOt emphasize how dumb they look- 

basically just becomes a crack fest

bonus (kinda-): 

lev, kenma, kuroo, tsuki, kags, akaashi, bokuto, yams, and yaku all went to the fish market one day

they all witness kuroo, bokuto, lev and hinata do something stupid with their shared one brain cell

so, naturally, the others flame them in russian

and someone nearby is like 

“aww its so sweet you believe them,, your friendship is so cute“

queue the whole crew (ugh i hate that term but its better than squad) turning to look towards lev 

and BAM they all start asking this random person for translations on stuff

they all look so shocked and mad and sad

*insert a mad kenma*

*insert tsuki mocking everyone*

just funNy stuff hahahaha

okay imma head out bc wtf did i just write-

[hamdontlook]

No thoughts head empty

Pepe:

- he doesn't like being alone and that's part of why he shares the house with Bob and they are always together (they are best friends but like.. Pepe doesn't have much "me" time because if he spends days without being with someone it affects his mind a Lot. He needs to learn to be alone basically- but that doesn't mean he needs to remove that part of him. Jefa is super good for him because they are kinda free spirited and kinda just appears when they feel like it but since they enjoy being with Pepe it happens a Lot). At first Jefa thought he was just clingy but slowly they realize what's up- tho they found cute at the begging that part of him, being so social.

- after some time he stops smoking so much in front of them so they don't catch second hand smoking even though Jefa tells him it's okay, they don't mind but still he worries about their health (i mean this is just being a nice person towards other human being but being so insistent about not damaging the other person just because you choose to smoke and stuff that's cool)

- he asks Bob (he's a photographer and I haven't shown this part of him yet AJDJKDD someday when I'm not so focused on these two), well, he asks him to take a sneaky pic of him and Jefa someday because he would like to have A Nice Pic Of Them For No Reason™

- when they are relaxing and napping (Jefa Big time Napper) Pepe can't rly fall asleep so he starts realizing the freckles they have and start counting them or even paint on them. This ends up in the situation that Pepe just happens to stare at Jefa while they sleep

- he starts feeling insecure because he doesn't get the reason why Jefa keeps appearing and hanging out with him besides smooching (like after Let's Call It Adult Smooching ™) and he doesn't think he's that great and doesn't realize Jefa actually cares about him. This ends up making the situation of him being more cold towards them because he's a poopy head who doesn't TALK or COMMUNICATE i stg

- after sorting out that whole thing up there, Pepe confronts Feelings™ slowly and when hes upset he does this thing where he just hugs them from behind and puts his face on the shoulder trying to cry (this sounds dramatic af but it's not that deep lmao sometimes you just need to Try To Cry because ur heart is constipated). When this happens it's not that often so it always catches Jefa off guard and they are like "hhhhh hug💜" (ay dios ay dios mIo)

Jefa

- when people ask Pepe if he's not cold Jefa is like "he's from the north of course he's not cold lmao" but they will always carry a jacket or scarf or gloves for him (LOVE LANGUAGE YALL)

- they make these sculptures and stuff for Pepe (there was a whole comic going on explaining this) and when they see something cool that Pepe might like, they take a photo and have like an "inspo" folder to try to make it later for Pepe

- they want to brush Pepe's hair and touch his head but doesn't know how to tell him without making it weird so they end up doing like a joke or something to end up having their hands on his head sjsj

- they are EMBARRASSED about the fact that they like Pepe (when they FINALLY realize because this takes a Long While™ way longer than Pepe). This is actually shitty from them because they happen to not have taken him seriously after a while of slowly knowing him but it's always been like "pfft this is just some stupid dude nothing to worry about" and well He's this whole person with lots of undiscovered strengths who happens to have a different way of thinking and stuff (besides him Actually being a dummy let's face it) but like yonoe. Afterwards Jefa is embarrassed to have thought so poorly of him like he doesn't deserve that either

- Jefa has a huge breakdown one day and Pepe is like dw ill take you somewhere and they take the bus in a 1 hour trip and end up in a ?? Field?? Idk the word rn and I'm not switching apps to check it out but basically a place full of trash and he's like "ok, break stuff" and they are like "do you break stuff when you are sad or something?" And he's like "what?? No. I take some cool stuff from here for my house but you look like you would want to beat the shit out of something". So this is probably not a Good coping mechanism but idk I think it's interesting for them to have this convo and Pepe thinks of what could be good for Jefa in a situation of anger or sadness, not something he would do because they are so different. So yeah Jefa starts breaking stuff and Pepe is just like ":)" in the background searching for a new table akdbakdjd

- Jefa is so fucking annoying with series and tv shows to watch and they don't shut up about it and at first Pepe was "forced" to watch a few but later he starts watching any new thing Jefa gets into so they have something to talk about and because he's enjoys talking with them about these silly things (LOVE. LanguaGE.)

Both

- After a while, they get used to always sleeping and cuddling together so when they are sleeping alone they don't feel as comfy as they used to (not like it's not comfy but. Now hits different)

- sometimes when they are each of them on their own they happen to randomly think about the other person and wonder what they are up to or what are they doing right now

- both of them in the begging had crushes on different people (even if it's a Strong one or a silly one) and then they listened to songs about love and stuff they would think about their old crush. Welp now they find themselves thinking about each other and they don't know what to do with that sjbfkfnd (still they haven't noticed they have a thing for the other)

- when they Realize™ (each of them in a different rythm) they are SO scared of messing up their actual relationship or the development of those feelings because they dont want to fuck up what they have right now and want to play it safe. Also they would be so embarrassed about the others reaction

- Pepe teaches Jefa to accept their failures and failed projects because Jefa is obsessed with always being right or be Good at whatever they do because of fear of failure and insecurities and hipocresy and etc. Meanwhile, Jefa teaches Pepe that his emotions and feelings are important and bottling up is not a Good Thing. They also insist on Pepe to fight for his dreams and objectives (the pilot thing for example- maybe he doesn't end up being a pilot but he discovers he's good and likes to be in charge of the towers in the airport that gives directions to the planes or something, or even the dude with the lights)

- they start having inside jokes between them and showing themselves laugh more between each other and Bob and Rodney even notice and Rodney in specific since Jefa has been hiding from him all this is like "..wait hold on wait a damn second-"

- they start telling anecdotes and stories to Rodney and Bob (Rodney - Jefa ; Bob - Pepe) of each other. Bob just thinks they are partners (which they aren't yet) without saying a word which leads to misunderstandings and Rodney is like " dude. Ur crushing" and Jefa is like NO!!!! WHAT THE FUCK NO??!!

- one day they just start making out but it's all romantic and stuff and they don't know what to do with this because it's like a Different Setting- i feel like a teen writing all this stuff dbslsnfl my past 15 old self is like YeaaA finally I'm making some juicy oc shipping for myself. Anyways they end up cuddling and it's soft. And now I might be just sad about past relationships lmao let's move on

- when ordering food Pepe is So Fucking Slow because he reads EVERYTHING in the menu and I can't stress this enough EVERYTHING and Jefa being just A Nervous Being decides what to eat under a minute because if they don't they die. So this one day they are giving shit to Pepe saying JUST MAKE UP YOUR MIND ALREADY and when the waiter comes they tell Jefa the thing they want to order isn't available rn so Jefa just enters a panic state and orders anything random at the spot. The food arrives and Jefa's thing is Not Good and they ask Pepe if he can give them some of his food and he's like yea can u give me some of yours and idk this is just wholesome funni stuff I wanted to make a comic for but I guess I forgot and now I'm just translating this lmao

- they spend one night in jail I don't know how they just do maybe it's because of disturbance in public late at night we will never know. Anyways they make a scene in jail

-" IS it okay if I cuddle with u"... (They do) (one of them sneezes into the others back and fills their t shirt with the sneeze and the other is like EW WHAT THE FUCK)

- Jefa finds notes and books of pilot school stuff and asks Pepe about it. At first he wants to hide it but Jefa is High-key Annoying and he ends up telling them. They proceed to have an intense conversation. They joke about how Pepe doesn't qualify for the thing but he has extended knowledge about how planes work and what's needed (he did bad in the exams because of his insecurities getting in the way but he would have done great if he had faith in himself) and they later joke about how Jefa is just the opposite, people put too much pressure in them being good and stuff so they just said fuck it and only does stuff in their specific way alone or does nothing.

- they are hanging out really late at night inside the house and see that it starts snowing so they go out to play in the snow in their pajamas. Robin starts screaming that whoever is out there doing that much noise, to stop. They proceed to hide laughing about that whole thing a lot (tender moment. Tender). The next morning there's a bunch of snowman next to pepe's house and it's. Super cute aight..

- one day Rodney goes to Jefa's place and he opens their wardrobe because he's just like That™ trying to find something he gave to Jefa a while ago but ends up finding pepe's clothes which he recognizes (like a sweater or a t shirt) and when he asks them about it they are a super shitty liar not knowing what explanation to do and ends up saying "haha it's just a prank I hate him so I'm pranking him". And rodney, who is , not a dumbass is like "...ah..okay..."

[youghvaudough]

Rewatched Hannibal Recently...

... here are some random thoughts brain chips on the third season

watch out for a text wall it's a doozy down under

this rewatching I finally realized the first half of this season Hannibal was basically like “I’m touring Europe with Bedelia one last time before I check myself into jail so I can see my bf often”

Will must’ve been real good at arts and crafts. He made a whole ass butterfly?bee?dragonfly?firefly man display out of shattered wine bottles and garbage from a basement basically

Also how did he not cut his hands with the glass???? He had leather gloves sure but it’s not like those are cut resistant?????? Does he have cut-resistant leather gloves???????

In Hannibal Rising Chiyoh is Hanni’s aunt’s lady-in-waiting (?) and was described as being about his age; if we’re going by that, she’s the same age as him in the show, which, ughhhhhh, let’s just say really really plays into the idea of us Asians not raisining (not mad at all; Tao Okamoto is so beautiful im gay as HELL —)

Bedelia: you’re in love with Will Graham and also leave me alone plz can I stop finishing murders on your behalf now

Hannibal was remarkably off his killing game at the end of the second season (or just really on his planning game) like NO ONE except for poor Abigail is dead by the 3rd season

Thinking about the filming of some scenes is so funny like: 

the crew carrying leather arm chairs and fancy glass side tables into the middle of some woods for a single shot

Bryan Fuller being like “ughhhh can I get a membrane-like sheet over this macro lens so I can film it bring sliced open like its will’s stomach skin” 

“also I need three thousand gallons of fake blood for some cool reverse drip shots”

everyone: Will help us catch Hannibal you must hate him so much right???? Will: busy imagining alternate reality where he and Hannibal actually worked it out at the end of the 2nd season

Will: tries his damndest to ignore everyone telling him he and Hannibal are in love while being very much smitten

Mason: talks religious mumbo jumbo  Alana after her bi awakening: *choke stare

the only saving grace for Jack Crawford is how much he’s the “I love my wife” trope

Frederic: ...why does no one wanna help me with Hannibal hunting when I go a-knocking but when Will does it everyone’s with him????????? What’d I do

No one:     Bryan Fuller: I NEED SOME SNAIL FUCKING SHOTS HERE

Bedelia: i feel like I’m your diet Will Graham Hannibal: what? no *continues to talk about how special Will Graham is and how no one will be his equal basically

WOAH question on Chiyoh so did Hannibal ~literally~ taxidermy her in time with some cannibal magic & that’s why she looks about, I don’t know, in her twenties still ?????? /s

Bryan Fuller: NOW I NEED TO OPEN AN OLD PAYPHONE FOR AN INTERIOR SHOT

Chiyoh: he’s good looking but dumb about Hannibal so 

I’ll kiss him

then push him off the train

(hopefully dude’ll be warned but also finally learn how to gay)

Bryan Fuller: ARE YOU MISSING SOME SLOW MOTION SHOTS OF HUGH DANCY FLIPPING OF THE TRAIN IN YOUR LIFE? ALWAYS

how did Mason and Pazzi achieve high resolution uninterrupted overseas video chat with the front camera of Apple laptops????? the power of wealth????? whenever I call my mom my phone turns into a potato pretty much

the jack v hannibal fight was the ultimate “I luh my dead wife” man v “I just need to stay alive and go meet my boyfriend” man fight

Bedelia: I know what your goodbye is; I know what you wanna do to Will and you’re in love with the dude. No thanks I’ll yeet myself outta here

“waving your uterus around like a weapon” how iconic

Dolce will forever go down in cinematic history there I said it. Nothing tops the mirroring scars, the downright sensual romantic dialogue in front of a fucking Botticelli, this 水乳交融 of two minds (can’t find a good enough translation other than maybe “melding”), one of the weirdest most kaleidoscope-forward lesbian sex scene of all times, a lot of overlapping orgasm faces, reflexive hugs and pats of comfort, weirdly timed lip-lickings, etc etc

At least Mason recognizes how good looking Will’s is lmao even with all the burnt penis talk on the table

“He’s looking very dry a little moisturizer please” Mason your gay is showing

“It’s dangerous getting exactly what you want” yeah we got this season of Hannibal and then no more of it I’d say you’re right on the money Dr. Lecter

Alana and Margot helping Hannibal and Will: LGBT solidarity at its finest

dumbest thing mason did was probably pissing off Margot

So basically Chiyoh is made of a stable metal element between iron and silver that’s why she doesn’t age?????? /s

maybe “I found you in my mind palace” can be our “always”

I remember the first time I watched Digestivo and I was so worried Hannibal’s gonna finish eating Will or take off or continue into the book silence of the lamb arc or something after Will basically went “I won’t go looking for you at all bye bitch where my dogs at” so imagine my fucking delight ecstasy when Hannibal threw himself at the FBI just so Will can always find him. I cried buckets and became a devout Bryan Fuller STAN that day

Chiyoh: fuck this shit im out; don’t wanna protect this idiot boy with luv no mo

Molly: weirdly familiar sharp features, sand-blond hair, husky sultry deeper voice hmmmmmmmmm guess WHAT

...but she actually likes doggos so 

Bryan Fuller: HUGH DANCY. COVERED IN BLOOD. NAKED. UNDER THE MOONLIGHT. NOW

Will gives Bedelia SO MUCH SHIT about using Hannibal as a means to fame that he almost forgets how possessive  protective of Hanni this makes him look

Bedelia: calm yo ass do you know how many “Will is special you’ll never be him” talks I’ve been in with Hannibal as the main lecturer?????

Bedelia: did you go visit him Will: ...yeah Bedelia: whelp fuck my leg is about good as steak any day now

An odd detail I remember about this Will/Bedelia interaction was Bryan Fuller saying in some interview (probably) that this is basically wife confronting mistress; you know who’s which

when Reba was touching the tiger that vet guy must’ve stayed in the room right??? for safety and stuff??? guy must’ve had the weirdest time just seeing Francis freak the fuck out watching Reba

also Reba deserves all the nice things in the world; Francis though an overall shitty person can recognize beauty

...wait i take it back dude said Will was ugly (ok he said “not very handsome” but) like bitch where

for a series with pretty good sfx that teeth scene in 310 was fake as f---

will and bedelia taking shots at each other verbally cracks me tf up like is this the psychology people’s version of “you suck” “uno reverse”

i have to keep reminding myself that this is a crime show that actually aired on national tv bc these dialogues mama??? downright telenovela. Bryan Fuller has a point when he described them as wife and mistress

Bedelia: I would’ve preferred to be bluebeard’s last wife Will: challenge accepted

i cannot stress this enough REBA DESERVES BETTER she seems like the nicest, most well-meaning person ever and deserves to be cherished like so

it's so strange, getting everything that you want; take Will’s slow-burn-esque realization of Hannibal’s twisted affections for example

Bryan Fuller: NOW GIVE ME A CLOSE UP OF ICE SUCKING

So  basically Hannibal’s attitude is “if I can’t be a constant fixture in his life I’ll be on his mind”

Hannibal is always a sucker for some good will ehhhh

Hannibal, in a police vehicle: get in Will we’re going cliff-diving dragon hunting; no but the actual line is just as cheesy geez hanni u smooth man-eater

The Bloom-Vergers look straight out of some gothic family catalog (if those exist)

like i will spare y’all the contrived complements of the Wrath of the Lamb bc like fucking hells mate there's no straight explanation for this finale

that’s it thanks for reading mates hannigram forever also someday some wealthy person will revive this I'm sure and we’ll rejoice then

[waithyuck]

extra elongated tag game

tagged by @gohyuck my love

tagging: @kwantified @honeyyu @jensungf @renjunwrites @neo-shitty @suingjaehyun

O N E

tell me the first song that made you stan your current fave group and why did your faves attract you so much?

okay so my ult group is nct and I can’t remember what song exactly but i remember not being a stan and LOVING back 2 u so much that I had to look into nct

for bts is was serendipity and blood sweat & tears

ateez was pirate king bc we stanned since debut 😔✊

T W O

rule: answer the ten questions and write your own!

favorite item of clothing?

I own a lot of hoodies but my fav is my dark gray we go up hoodie and it’s big n comfy....yeah

if you had to smell like one scent for the rest of your life what would it be?

I think I would want to smell like vanilla or lavender

favorite painter? why?

frida kahlo bc she embraced everything about herself and did wonderful self portraits

what’s your favorite horror movie (and if you don’t like horror, why not?)?

I don’t like jumpscares so most horror is not to my taste....however give a psychological horror and I’ll go off ab how much I love it (like idk if it’s considered horror but ‘a cure for wellness’ anyone???)

iphone or android?

iPhone dude

favorite tiktok trend (and if you don’t like tiktok, you can talk about how much influencers suck)?

i only go on tiktok for the kpop content I don’t know trends,,,,also can be talk about how most influencers on that app manipulate literal children into giving them money?? for doing absolutely nothing??

if you could wake up with any new ability what would it be?

the ability to read others emotions and make them happy no matter what (call me a corny ass bitch but it’s true)

favorite superhero/supervillain/antihero?

people consider her a ‘villain’ so I’m saying maleficent (from the movie maleficent) bc ??? she fell in love with a man and he fuckin just,,,,did her so dirty and left her broken-hearted and cut off her wings like ??? hell I’d be mad too I’d curse the little ass baby he had with another woman just as fast as she did. also how about that character development??? she cursed aurora but always looked out for her and eventually came to love her?? and that’s the kiss that broke the spell and woke aurora up?? call that motherly love we stan

if you could only dress in one color for the rest of your life which color would it be?

realistically black is prob the way I would go but gray is also a valid option

who’s your ult and give me five reasons why.

oof y’all already know it’s my boy lee donghyuck

1. his vocals??? the vocals alone are enough reason to stan

2. his dancing??? he is so incredibly talented and I love watching him move

3. his hardwork and dedication to his career, like he loves what he does so much and I love seeing him shine (but also like, pls let him sit the fuck down for a sec)

4. his aura and personality !!!!! is just so loveable !!! he brightens the room with his mood-making personality and I’m just in love with him god

5. okay okay now I’ll touch on the fact that he’s so fucking handsome??? a visual king ???? look at that face, look at those legs, JUST LOOK AT HIS BODY PROPORTIONS. PERFECT.

my questions:

what is your favorite memory from your childhood?

If you could travel anywhere in the world with just a snap of your fingers, where would you go and why?

describe your personality in three (3) words.

what is your favorite thing that you have ever read? (anything you’ve ever read counts! fanfiction, poems, novels etc.) why?

are you the studying type of person or the type to just ‘wing it’ when you have a big test coming up?

between bold colors and pastel colors, which do you prefer?

do you live life in the moment or do you plan every action you take?

what is your favorite holiday and why? (all holidays count! across all religions and cultures 😄)

would you rather stay up to stargaze in the middle of the night or wake up early to watch the sunrise?

what is your favorite eye color on another person?

T H R E E

rule: bold the statements that apply to you, italicize your aspirations, then tag nine people.

AIR ༉⋆͙̈

i have small hands / i love the night sky / i watch animals and birds when i pass them by / i drink herbal tea / i wake to see the dawn / the smell of dust is comforting / i’m valued for being wise / i prefer books to music / i meditate / i find joy in learning new truths from the world around me

FIRE ༉⋆

i don’t have straight hair / i like to wear ripped jeans and overalls / i play an organized sport / i love dogs / i am not afraid of adventure / i love to talk to strangers / i always try new foods / i enjoy road trips / summer is my favorite season / my radio is always playing

WATER ༉⋆͙̈

i wear bracelets on my wrists / i love the bustle of the city / i have more than one set of piercings / i read poetry / i love the sound of a thunderstorm / i want to travel the world / i sleep past midday most days / i love simply lit dinners and fluorescent signs / i rewatch kids shows out of nostalgia / i see emotions in colors not words

EARTH ༉⋆͙̈

i wear glasses or contacts / i enjoy doing the laundry / i am a vegetarian or vegan / i have an excellent sense of time / my humor is very cheerful / i am a valued advisor to my friends / i believe in true love / i love this chill of mountain air / i’m always listening to music / i am highly trusted by the people in my life

AETHER ༉⋆͙̈

i go without makeup in my daily life / i make my own artwork / i keep on track of my tasks and time / i always know true north / i see beauty in everything / i can always smell flowers / i smile at everyone i pass by / i always fear history repeating itself / i have recovered from a mental disorder / i can love unconditionally

F O U R

the ultimate tag: answer whichever ones you want to because there are a lot and then tag a few blogs you’d like to get to know better!

PERSONAL

name: samantha

nickname: sam

birthday: march 9

zodiac: pisces sun

nationality: american

languages: english, currently learning korean

gender: female

sexuality: pansexual :)

height: 5’2” (157 cm)

BLOG STUFF

inspiration for muse: music, tv, movies

meaning behind my url: hyuck is doin too much he’s gotta just give me a break and wAIT A SEC = waithyuck

blog established: 2020 but I’ve been on tumblr since 2015

followers: 791

FAVORITES

favorite animals: pigs, cats, dogs, snakes

favorite books: lord of the flies, the great gatsby, hamlet even tho it wasn’t technically a book

favorite color: yellow, orange, pink

favorite fictional characters: gilbert blythe, prince zuko from atla idk who else

favorite flower: sunflowers, carnations, roses

favorite scent: vanilla, citrus, lavender

favorite season: spring or fall

RANDOM

average hours of sleep: like 4-5

cats or dogs: both

coffee, tea or hot chocolate: hot chocolate

current time: 2:23 p.m.

dream trip: seoul, rome, greece in general, london, dublin

dream job: teaching english as a second language, linguist, translator

hobbies: writing, drawing, singing

hogwarts house: hufflepuff

last movie watched: burlesque lmao

last song listened to: kick it - nct 127

no. of blankets you sleep with: 1

random fact(s): my fingers are double jointed lmaO idk

F I V E

10 things i can’t stop listening to

slow down - chase atlantic

watermelon sugar - harry styles

to die for - sam smith

we go up - nct dream

blue side - j-hope

god’s menu - stray kids

inception - ateez

love me right - rendezvous at two

renegade - aaryan shah

HER - chase atlantic

[charliebattinson]

We’re Best Friends? | Dec·la·ra·tion | Part 10 | Shawn Mendes Imagine

A/N: Long time no see! HAHA here’s part 10! One more part left and that’s it for me as a writer!!! Honestly just proud of this series!!! Lmao thanks 4 the support guys! Feedback is much appreciated! Also HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHAWN!! UR 20 U HOE

Word Count: 1.5 k

Here we are again, in your bed but unfortunately with clothes on.

You’re snoring again. It makes me smile and it makes me sad because I won’t get to hear that for awhile. Won’t to get to hold you for a bit. 

I’ve been staring at you for a while now, studying your face because I just realized I won’t get to see it in person for a while. I’ll only get to see it behind a screen but that’s okay. I’ll be okay.

Last night wasn’t what I was expecting it to be. Never expected that call to be what it was. I’m happy I got the job I wanted, not happy where I’ll be with that job. I’m scared of what’s going to happen between us. I don’t know how we are going to be when we’re a thousand miles away.

I think to myself what if we did this sooner so we could have had more time to explore this out. I wished I had more mornings to wake up beside you, more nights to love you and more days to get to know you not only as my best friend because let’s face it we burned that to the ground but I tell myself to be patient because when I come back home, I’ll get to do all of this and I can take all my time.

If you’d let me.

I’m hoping you’d want me to.

2 months later

“Hallo hoe gaat het”

“What does that mean?” I chuckle over the phone as I study in the library.

“It means hello, how are you?” Shawn says.

“Ah so we’re learning a new language now, huh?” I tease.

“Yeah, I bought this translation book at this bookstore. I can order a beer now in dutch! Een Bier Graag!” Shawn shouts over the phone which makes me jump.

“Oh boy, I have a feeling you’ll be annoying me and everyone with these dutch words when you get back home”

“Oh you know it” he laughs.

It’s been two months since Shawn left and surprisingly things are okay, there was crying every few days but i’m not going to tell him that. He seems happy where he is, enjoying his internship and the place. We always get in touch even if it’s just a text. It’s enough to comfort me.

“Alright pretty boy, let’s see your dutch knowledge. Can you translate this?” I ask him going through the google translate on my laptop.

“Sure”

“Ik mis je” I say, biting my lip. He’s silent for a bit.

“I miss you too” He says happily. “You know the booze here is great, I wish you were with me getting drunk” he sighs.

“I know, just four more months and you’ll be here again”

“You know you could always come and visit me” He says hopeful. I want to visit him but if I do, I feel it might lead him into something I’m not sure I’m ready to jump into. I could be just visiting my best friend but we’re not exactly just that anymore.

“Yeah, I don’t know. That’s a big commitment for me to do, to fly 7 hours to visit a boy” I joke.

“But I’m not just any boy. I’m your best friend.” he teases.

“Are we just that?” I ask.

:”I don’t know, Blake. You tell me. You know what I want.” he says confused slightly annoyed.

I stay silent. I know I’m toying with the idea and that my thoughts are all over the place, putting him into different directions because I can’t seem to make up my goddamn mind.

“Look I gotta go Blake, something came up” he says

“Oh okay” worried that he’s mad at me

“No, something really  I’m not avoiding you. Trust me. I’ll call you back” He says sincerely.

‘I know. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I’m sorry too” he says in a soft tone.

“Bye”

“Bye mooi” he says then hangs up the phone.

“Blake! My goodness, it’s so good to see you!” Cameron, a long time friend of mine greets me and goes for a hug.

“It’s good to see you too” hugging her back.

“Oh I want to introduce you to my boyfriend, Michael” She says. When I heard the word boyfriend, for some strange reason Shawn’s face popped out. After being greeted by Michael, we head to our table catching up with our lives and getting to know Cameron’s boyfriend who is an actual sweetheart.

“Alright I’ll be back with your drinks” Michael says and kisses Cameron’s cheek before he heads out. It makes me smile because it reminds me of a certain someone.

“Someone is very happy” I coo at her and see her cheeks blush.

“Very happy. He’s such a great guy Blake” she sighs happily. “Enough about me, what about you? How’s our Shawny boy?” She asks.

“He’s good” I reply with a big smile on my face.

“What’s up with the huge smile?” She teases.

“What? I’m just smiling?” I tell her as my face goes incredibly hot.

“Uh uh, I know you. I know that smile. Are you and Shawn?” She asks curiously raising her eyebrows at me. She knows my answer when I try to reply, with a blushing cheeks/

“Holy Shit! You and Shawn! My childhood neighbor Shawn? Your best friend Shawn?” She exclaims

“Ah fuck yeah” I sigh defeated.

“Spill! What the fuck haven’t you told me anything you bitch!” I tell her the whole story that leaves her smiling and going wide eyed at times. “So are you guys a couple? Or what?” She asks

“I don’t know, I mean I know what he wants. He wants us to try and it’s just me delaying things.”

“Honey, what are you afraid of?” She looks at me and it suddenly makes me think of what I’m really scared.

“I’m just scared of losing him. He’s Shawn, he’s been the constant guy in my life where I didn’t have to worry about losing but ever since we slept together, that thought is there and I can’t afford that. I won’t”

She looks at me with understanding. “Look I get you, I mean you’ve known this guy for what? 10 years?”

“18 years”

She whistles “Jesus. But anyways, I get you because that’s how me and michael started”

“You and Michael were friends first? I ask surprised.

“Yeah, we were friends for awhile before he asked me out and look where we are now.” She giggles and it leaves a smile to face because she looks so in love.

“Weren’t you scared of losing what you guys had at first?”

“Well of course at the beginning you always are, but then you think to yourself why bother yourself worrying about something that could never really happen you know? And I guess if things lead to where they are now, you were never really just friends” She says raising her shoulders.

It makes me realize that me and Shawn were never really just friends that one way or another we go this route, it was just shitty timing I guess.

“Blake, give it a try. Be with the boy” She says grabbing my hand and holding it with hers.

Before I respond, Michael comes back with our drinks. He hands us our drinks and kisses Cameron in the cheek again and it makes me smile and feel jealous at the same time. It hits me that I want that, and I know who I want it with.

I’m sitting at the park, drinking all by myself late at night like an idiot missing the other idiot who’s with me here.I think about us. Our friendship and how we go to where we are and if I’m willing to risk everything to give a shot at something I don’t know the outcome but ain’t that life?

I grab my phone as dial a familiar number.

Ring Ring.

“Hey this is Shawn. Leave a message”

‘hey  how are you? You’re probably asleep so I’m just going to say that I miss you so much llike how a girlfriend misses her boyfriend. I hanged out with Cameron earlier, she says hi by the way and she brought her boyfriend and it made me realize how much I want to introduce you as my boyfriend. I like the feeling I get when I say boyfriend because it makes me think of you and your ugly ass face no— I’m just kidding you’re really pretty and I’m fucking drunk right now but that’s not why I’m saying this. The alcohol just gave me a shitload of courage. I wanna have sex with you and hold your hand as my boyfriend. You doing all those things a boyfriend does to me. So can you be my boyfriend? Please. I think I said boyfriend about 30 times but yeah be my boyfriend. Be my bitch. If you feel the same, call me greeting me with hello lover. Okay? Okay I should probably hang up so bye”

I end the call with my heart pounding realizing I just did say all of that and head back to my apartment. “Yolo” I sigh.

Ring Ring

My familiar ring tone is heard waking me up from my sleep. I groan as I reach for my phone to see who’s calling. My heart begins to beat fast and I sit up and for the first time in my whole life, I’m scared of picking it up but eventually I do.

“Shawn?” I whisper.

“Hello Lover” he joyfully says.

[rockybalfeatherboa]

getting these mtl headcanons outta my system

This is a long ass post but these r some random metalocalypse hcs that I feel kinda strongly abt some r real silly ok here it goes 

Aka me projecting

Toki - Enjoys activities like roller skating, weight lifting and boxing (that’s why he’s yknow fucken ripped) - Also enjoys model cars but not nearly as much as his beloved fighter planes - Thick brows - Hair is very thick and smooth (and,,pretty) but he doesn’t put a lot of work into is making the other guys kinda jealous - Sometimes shaves his legs below the knee but that’s it - Does shit like host teen choice awards and guest star on children’s tv shows BUT THEN acts surprised when kids love him,,,tf bitch this is ur fault - Absolutely loves physical affection he fuckin loves hugs and kisses!!!! - Prefers making out and titty groping groupies (and maybe a blowjob) over having sex with them .. but will still do it if he feels like he’s up to it - Kisses with his eyes open (and overall just real fuckin weird ok) - Keeps the video from Juliette sarmangsadandle in his nightstand he treasures it - Mostly writes his own keyboard parts for songs - Band thinks he’s hilarious when he doesn’t try to be but when he tries to tell jokes they don’t work ,, but he’s really funny in Norwegian it’s just the jokes don’t really translate too well so he just,,keeps it to himself - Pickles taught him how to smoke and now they like to chill and smoke together it’s like “their thing” - But he’s really picky about it he only smokes indica - (This is me projecting) Learned the phrase “if u feelin froggy then jump” and never stopped using it

Skwisgaar - shaves e v e r y t h i n g bc of 1) the aesthetics and 2) loves the way it feels - long lovely legs - huge fucken feet - has a klokateer pluck and tweeze his eyebrows them shits be on fleek - cries in secret at least once a day it’s become routine - He kept in touch with his Swedish gf for a while but then fell off and went back to hoeing #hoe4lyfe - Secretly wishes he can go back to wearing all white but he has to maintain brand recognition bc of the band - Wears very slight sweet smelling cologne behind his ears and wherever else cologne goes - Either eats a fuckton or not very much during the day,, keeping his metabolism on her toes - Guitar playing for him is like ultimate stress relief and also he fidgets with it he loves that thing - Has a book of various songs or riffs that he’s written on the guitar that dethklok will never ever use - Wears highlighter - Has run into one of his grown ass children in the bank one time and had to get the fuck out of there immediately,,they didn’t realize it was him tho -  Puts his feet on nathan just to bother him - Great teeth / really conscientious about hygiene - Cold hands and oily skin type - He has a pretty good sense of rhythm but ,, he can’t dance he can’t dance for shit oh my god it’s a disaster to look at - “I look like I can’t cook… that’s accurate” - When he drinks wine he does that thing where he swirls it around like a bougie piece of shit - Lactose intolerant :/ - Talks with his hands a l o t it’s over dramatized and very fascinating to watch - Responds to compliments with “I know”

Murderface - closet gay*   *gay but he grew up in such a homophobic environment so he tries to ignore it and pretty much force himself to be straight, explaining his constant trouble with women (Bc the attraction isn’t genuine ) and his fragile masculinity (so he’s always a “fellas is it gay to-“ or a “no homo” type of guy ),, his self esteem issues don’t help this out at all - big fuckin crush on skwisgaar (and skwis loves the attention) - sleeps with a retainer - hair is so dry,,,,,,please give this man some conditioner oh my god - knows pretty much everything about the civil war and the American revolution literally ask him anything he’s like a textbook - Somebody come get this man a pedicure - He has a lot of fans and they adore him it’s just that he’s oblivious to it,,, ppl love murderface!! - He’s not as ugly as he thinks he is or that people make him out to be, it’s just that people may think that only Bc the rest of Dethklok is so pretty. He kinda just ends up looking the worst by four-way comparison. It’s just a different type of look he has there’s nothing really wrong with his appearance - Imma go head and say it,,,he uses “y’all” - He and toki have actually made some decent songs for planet piss but it’s usually when they’re jamming out so they pretty much never get recorded 🤷🏽‍♀️ or remembered - He can move his dick voluntarily I mean I already knew that people with dicks can do this but murderface has like a whole new level of control with his - Got banned from Fintrolls bc he pissed in the olives but he just keeps coming back bc what are they gonna do? nothing - He takes his weapon/torture device collection very seriously like when u walk into his room u better not touch a damn thing or so help me -

Pickles - has nose piercings but doesn’t wear em - Small ear gauges - Strong toned legs especially shins and calves - Has not had a swig of h20 in 6 years but somehow has nice skin (a mystery) - Loathes Seth but absolutely a d o r e s  the baby!!! He loves that damn baby and always appreciates when Seth or amber send pics or FaceTime call !! Fuckin uncle pickles!! - Helps toki compose his keyboard parts for songs (Bc he too can play the piano) - Kinda flexible but not as he used to be,,he used to be able to do a full split - Likes to bug Charles a lot bc they’re the closest in age , sometimes they hang they’re good buds - Watches shitty reality tv (bad girls club, LHHATL (it has to Atlanta), etc) as a guilty pleasure - Kind of an asshole but in a way that leaves u wanting more - Played basketball freshman year of highschool,, he was ass at it lmao - Idk how much this has to do with being a headcanon but if pickles was a vine he’d be “I said whoever threw that paper, ya moms a hoe” he just carries that energy - Smells like a light combination of weed and cologne it’s really nice - Will tell one of his band mates to go blow their nose if they’re sniffling too much

Nathan - doesn’t like it when people touch his hair without asking but HOWEVER if u ask before u do he’d probably say yes ,, just gotta warn him first damn - Hates hates h a t e s feet it’s like a weird squirmy phobia. He’s ok with his own feet and just *seeing* other peoples feet but let someone’s bare foot touch him and he’d probably black out tbh - Really socially awkward outside of his stage presence but I think we all knew this - Nathan’s really sweet he just ,, u gotta know him - Really emotional when he’s drunk - Secretly cussing out everyone in his head - He doesn’t completely dislike physical affection but he’s not crazy about it either - Also kisses with his eyes open (but unlike toki he’s trying to work on it) - Dad bod but we all knew this too - Slightly introverted ..he likes to party and shit but can only take that much social interaction for so long then it’s time for him to go home - Eyes are so striking and pretty oh my god it’s like they’re shining it’s all his gfs favorite thing about him - ,,,,,,,thicc - He’s one of those people that rip off their hangnails instead of cutting them 😖 - He can throw down on the grill goddamn why isn’t he in charge of snacks? - Knows how to suture a wound with some level of proficiency - He loves his parents he just hates how they embarrass the fuck out of him god leave me alone mom and dad! - This is ironic to the last thing but remember that video where it was like “son let me hear some of your music” “I don’t think you’d like it” “c’mon let me listen” and the song is just “I hate my dad I hate my dad I hate my dad” the whole time yea that was Nathan in high school - Strong arms (b,,beautiful) - As a kid he used to poke at roadkill for uhh entertainment - Used to be self conscious about his reading glasses but doesn’t gaf anymore - Severe case of resting bitch face he’ll literally be chillin but his face will be mean muggin but that’s just the way he looks - Tried PCP and ended up having to be chained to his bed betcha he’ll never smoke that shit again - likes crime investigation shows and serial killer documentaries - Will n e v e r  refuse a fresh hot salted pretzel

[spiralledcupid]

Spoon Views: My Hero Academia Episode 10

Symbol of Peace

Welcome back to Spoon Views. And this episode was,,, the one we’ve all been waiting for. I put makeup on this morning, and now I wish I hadn’t because I cried twice like the lil bitch I am. Before I start I just wanna say there might be a little less analysis this time because I just did my first two a level exams and my lil brain is all tuckered out so, just know I’m trying my best lmao,,, So, with that out of the way, let’s get into it !

Okay, first things first, for some reason I always thought the bar would be like a basement bar? But

Apparently it’s on the second floor. I mean, it might just be me being a dummy but at the same time, oof. Weird.

Moving on, let’s talk about something I haven’t discussed before on Spoon Views (I think).

And that’s staging. It might not be intentional (because lets be real most of literature analysis is bullshit I’ve studied it for two years I Know), but this shot can reflect the distance between All Might and Endeavour, with Endeavour looking up to All Might, or up to the position he quite desperately wants. Also, this shot shows Endeavour’s hair colour, something we don’t usually see due to his flames. And we all know that in pretty much every episode this season, Bones have tossed us a Dabi is a Todoroki hint. So maybe,,,,

Speaking of Bones, they did a fantastic job on All For One.

I mean, everything about him was creepy, but the clapping in particular just kinda creeped me out more than anything. I have to say though, in the manga I remember him calling Magne “my dear” when she addressed him, which increased the creepiness factor (for me anyway), but, at least in the translation I watched, he didn’t do that, which made him seem a little more aggressive and therefore less all-out creepy. But that’s just a matter of opinion rather than anything serious.

Away from All For One, I also wanted to talk about Best Jeanist in the terms of Stain’s ideals.

On first glance, Jeanist sorta comes across as one of the ‘fake’ heroes; he’s obsessed with appearance, and put Bakugou down because of the way he looked and acted, despite him having heroic intent. He also seems to have awarded himself an award he invented 8 years running. But his actions in this episode show us a different story. He sacrifices himself to move the other heroes out of the way, getting himself hurt in the process. I mean, this of everything shows the flaw in Stain’s ideals, because Jeanist (someone who he would perceive to be a face hero) willingly sacrifices himself for the other heroes.

And what happens to him is gory af

I’m not usually afraid of supernatural based things but I may have to change that where All For One is concerned bc that power Should Not Happen.

Anyway, away from my personal scardy-cat nature, here’s a question that’s been playing on my mind ever since I first read this bit.

Is All For One dying?

We know he has a longevity quirk that’s enabled him to survive all this time, but at the same time, he’s been raising Shigaraki as an inheritor for his quirk and seemingly his entire criminal enterprise, and for some time he’s been choosing Quirks that fit Shigaraki. I mean, if we wanna go really deep into personal theory, I actually think all for one and one for all began as the same quirk, and due to the evolution of one for all via the passage of users, the quirk was able to evolve while all for one stayed stagnant… I mean, I can fully meta this, and if u want it drop me an ask !

I’ve seen a few people talk about the abusive relationship All For One has with Shigaraki and, although I’m not denying what he did is abuse it IS, the type of abuse needs to be focussed on.

I’m almost sure that All For One was probably never physically abusive to Shigaraki. It’s obvious Shigaraki has a heavy dependence on him as a father and/or mentor figure, and this relationship imo is unlikely to come about through physical abuse. Instead, the abuse was probably more emotional. Shigaraki’s complete dependence comes from first a lack of emotional development and second because he’s most likely never been able to depend on anyone else. This is probably to prevent Shigaraki gaining opinions of his own, therefore making him the perfect tool against All Might. Furthermore (spoilers guys, spoilers), it gives him the fury and vengeful urge to lead him to taking over All For One’s place in destroying the hero industry. Still abuse tho.

Away from analysis, I love how Bakugou’s still throwing his anger issues around at the scariest criminal boss in the world.

Like, he just doesn’t back down and that’s something, as a living doormat, I can get behind. What a love.

I also love how much of a good friend Iida is.

He grabs both Midoriya and Todoroki, the two who he already knows are willing to risk themselves after the Stain fight. I just,,, love him.

No commentary here but

Gosh darn this is a good shot !! so cool lookin

But, during the first part of the scene, I felt so bad for Bakugou, having to watch his idol up close seemingly meet his match.

Bakugou idolises All Might because he never loses, so to see him meet someone who can match him blow for blow must be extra terrifying for Bakugou. Poor kid.

He’s still doing his smile as well

Y’know, the one everyone talked about last episode where Bakugou was desperately trying to maintain a smile the way All Might does… God I just want this kid to have a good time.

His dodging tho

Cool as SHIT Bakugou has fighting skills wowee

This is also when Bakugou’s (spoilers again) guilt for what happens next begins in my opinion:

He knows All Might can’t fight while he’s there, and maybe All Might wouldn’t have gone over his limit if he were able to fight with his full power from the start… God, I know I’ve said this about 60 times but poor Bakugou.

And, finally, we get to the bit…

The bit where my tears first began to fall…

In all seriousness, I wish they had kept the “It has to be you” line, because that was iconic, but it was still a sob-worthy scene. I know everyone has already waxed lyrical about the hand scene so I’m not gonna (and this is mostly analysis anyway, and there’s frankly not much in that scene that isn’t already obvious) but it was,, absolutely fantastic, hats off to the animators.

But I also love how Bakugou still found it in himself to bitch

You better go far, my stubborn boy.

And then seeing how happy Kirishima looked now they had got Bakugou back

So cute !

Also, while we’re here, can we get a cheer for Mt Lady?

Just letting Compress slam straight into her head like,, omg,, icon I love my wife.

Back to the villains side of things, it’s no secret I love Shigaraki and this bit was the second time I cried in the episode.

He’s just one of those people who always seems to lose out and even tho he’s shitty, I just want him to achieve something like,, good,, redemption arc when,,,

I don’t actually think he’s gonna get a redemption arc but that don’t mean I don’t want one !! Gimme.

On the same topic, I just wanna know

What was he gonna say? (any theories feel free to drop them!!)

And, to round off:

@ any anime only readers, have u made the connection? Bc,, oof

 Anyways, that’s all I have for y’all this week on Spoon Views!! It’s been a tough ol week, so pray my exams pick up next week and that I can find a job.

Speaking of a job (and my lack of one), I finish college soon and I will hopefully be opening commissions as well as putting out some multi-chaptered fics, but if you wanna help me out, I have a ko-fi  !!

Thanks as always,, see u next week,,