#if u are not this one ex-mutual then **i cannot see what you are looking at** !!

[madchild-dennis]

Still not convinced?

Why because you can't see HOW God approves Killing that MOTHERFUCKING ASSHOLE?

FOR THE LAST TIME I WILL DISCUSS IT OR HIM, AND SAY:

It's simply this:

In secret/in his heart, God says he LOVES me and actually WANTS ME, DESPERATELY. As in unable to function kind of level of disfunction from his feelings, desire and more for me.

Dude says he doesn't want me. He said it to my face, he says it to other and to the WHOLE WORLD.

I try to move on based on REALITY or his actions and HE and his fucking mumma has a problem EVERYTIME.

I decide to take God at his word and claim it in faith. Then they act like I ain't SHIT and that they don't want me.

So they want me but don't want to be with me. But WON'T let me go to freely get the love I need but REFUSE to give it when given the opportunity.

That's the definition of an abusive action from disgusting pieces of SHIT. Because he at NO POINT wants me to be happy, loved or cared for. I can't get it from him but they don't want me to get it from anyone else.

THAT'S FUCKED UP!!!

Just in case you do NOT KNOW THIS: I DO NOT TAKE FUCKERY OR ABUSE, FROM ANY ONE #periodt

God knows this. So instead of saving me, he empowers me to STAND IN MY POWER. A power I will need and use as QUEEN. So, God could remove him for me as he does for so MANY. However how will I learn to STAND in my DEFENCE, POWER, WARRIOR-SPIRIT and be able to STAND against weaker opponents.

Yes WEAKER because NO ONE can hurt you more than the person you love/loved or is your partner.

Some time ago, I surrendered into the role God called me (his wife) without the acknowledgement and watched him hurt me OVER and OVER AGAIN. In fact, I may had an ex for 5-year long relations. I was not as emotionally tied to him as much as this ASSHOLE. It is present in the vast amount of poetry I wrote about the asshole in the shorter time involved in comparison to the amount written about the 5-year long ex. Which means, emotionally I was VERY connected to the asshole.

So the strongest and worst weapon to be used against me FREELY choose to hurt, harm, abuse and more towards me.

What will I do?

If I can take him DOWN. I can TAKE ANYONE DOWN, especially via death, as it will REQUIRE for many of my opponents, enemy or such.

Wait you want to say, I don't have to kill him I could forgive him.

WRONG!!!

Those who follow along can attest to the simple fact that I CANNOT FUNCTION if I am emotionally stressed, hurt or broken especially by a significant other.

So, to be QUEEN of COUNTRIES with a VERY involved role to play. Did I mention this is C-O-U-N-T-R-I-E-S. That's plural as in MULTIPLE. Did you forget I'm female and have periods EVERY MONTH. Then you have the FOUR children I want to care for. THEN the more that I would BIRTH differently. That's a whole PREGNANCY each TIME. MONTHS of changes to then PUSH THEM OUT.

ALSO,

THIS IS A SELF-SUFFICIENT MONARCH. As in I have BUSINESSES TO run. To make sure I can support the WHOLE MONARCHIAL SYSTEM.

So, where would I have TIME to stroke a fucking man-child's ego, teach him to commit, wait for him to GROW THE FUCK UP, wait for him to see the flaws in his actions and STOP abusing me. Ya'll are JUST seeing the words I spit and my weirdness, or how stupid I look. But do NOT know the moments I do not share where they are STILL DOING THEIR FUCKERY.

Why the FUCK a mutual when I said I do NOT want to put DD on a work I did, think I want to put DF. I said I am done with their FUCKERY unless they DID AS I ASK. SO I don't claim Fowler. Some things don't change back because of time, money and entanglement of things I set up. But with time and money there will be ABSOLUTELY NO Fowler connection.

The mother still trying to sneak back on his behalf but hate that I'm NOT playing along. Bruh, God didn't say I am marrying or fucking her. So I have NOTHING to do with her. Well that was until he did as GOD and I says. THAT WAS BEFORE HE FUCKED UP AND SUCH.

So, THERE IS NO SPACE or TIME for marriage/couple's counselling, micro-managing or significant problems that keep me up at night when I am QUEEN. So if now, when it's a simple task of choosing, respecting, honouring or loving me he couldn't do then I tolerate it, but CANNOT FUNCTION.

HOW THE FUCK WILL I FUNCTION WITH MORE RESPONSIBILITY with NO CHANGE BEHAVIOUR ON HIS PART OR IT GETS WORST?

God promised me better than THIS:

(It's a man who is so focused on a task, his thing or whatever, but still shows his partner that she's important, prioritize and is always on his mind)

I DO NOT HAVE ANY CAPACITY for LESS THAN THAT.

These few months and few YEARS was for him to fuck up BUT FIX UP. There has been the fuck ups but there is NO improvement, whatsoever.

Remember:

When God did this on the weekend of October 23, 2021. God did that for HIM, because he desired to marry me snd God approved.

On November 13, 2021 he said this, when I asked him point blank his desires:

ON December 4, 2021 when God told me to act married out of obedience, this motherfucker purposely hurt me and prioritized his girlfriend. I let it be and made this video:

SO he CHOSE to NOT be with me, while praying and having an issue if I was with or seemed like I was with another person, like I described here in this thread (This was mostly while he chose to be with someone else):

This is what he did for MONTHS while God had me in restrictions. In fact they loved that I was in restriction because they felt they couldn't loose me while they do WHATEVER THEY FUCKING WANTED.

Now, let's pretend he was no longer with someone else from last year summer. What he chose to do was to wait for me to do somehing (after I've done EVERYTHING) last summer. Then when i refuse to make it easy for him, he chose to continue doing whatever thinking God will keep restricting me.

Then this occurred and instead of being honest he started comparing and causing problem (if he could) for me:

So I am happy but he couldn't let me be happy. That's because the selfish little shit was HURT.

Then when I do end things with the guy, he chose once again to DO NOTHING. Acted like he's in love unbothered until I deny him publicly.

Then when given the opportunity to MOVE ON or do as I ask. He chose to NOT move on. But instead of doing as I ask continue to deny to the world that he has any care, love or is bothered by me.

In fact he choose to do ANYTHING BUT declare any desire for me. and continue to do so even to TODAY (I don't care now no matter what God has been saying all weekend).

GOD CALLED ME QUEEN.

That means I am royal, set apart, important, regal, divine, holy and MORE. Therefore I should be TREATED AS SUCH, NOT ABUSED.

So that shit has been abusing me LONG ENOUGH and now wants to pretend, hide or act like he's perfect (one of the reasons I set the "DO NOT DELETE" RULE; he has to stand in ALL he has done). While his mumma tries to plot something for him.

SO ENOUGH OF THE ABUSE AND TIME FOR REPLACEMENT!!!

(I don't care, what God has been transferring spiritually to me about him pleading for a second chance. NOTHING he does now will change that. In fact, the only thing that could maybe appease me because I said DEATH AND I MEAN it. Would be that I personally make permanent markings and mutilations at the risk of death from the process. That could be a substitute for death and use as a reminder that he is at MERCY and I could change my mind or that I mean it when I said I WILL KILL HIM. And I mean mutilating his fucking penis as one of the actions. That's IF I so choose to provide that mercy)

Plus, the MOST IMPORTANT: I like to keep my promises especially the ones to myself.

I said DEATH is the consequence.

SO DEATH IT SHALL BE.

[remcycl333]

you don’t need to be happy to be manifest!! but...

who doesn’t want to be happy?

(long post alert, sorry in advance lol. but please read it all the way through, i really think it’ll be worth it<3)

ok, to preface this, you don’t need to be happy to manifest. i’ve manifested great, positive things while i was in depressive episodes. i manifested wonderful things with tears streaming down my face. BUT, i think something a lot of people overlook is that it’s really beneficial to feel positively about your desires.

this is something i realized a few months ago, saw great results from, and then forgot all about and, well, stopped seeing the progress i wanted. but i’m back on track now, don’t you worry.

(i’m going to be using the example of my sp, bc that’s what i have the most experience with, but this applies to literally anything u r manifesting) 

i’ve made a few other posts saying pretty much what i’m about to say in this next paragraph, so if you’ve already read those, i’m sorry for repeating myself. just bear with me lol. 

so i came to a realization a few months ago--and i don’t exactly remember how i came to this realization--that i kind of...hated my sp? like i fucking resented him. and i was like, wait a minute, that’s not right. i love my sp. that’s why i’m trying to manifest him! so why do i feel like this?

i used to focus on manifesting in steps, so naturally the first step was contact. so i’d be affirming all day every day “my sp is texting me right fucking now😡“ (and other variations) and then when he didn’t text me, it’d just make me angry at him. but technically, he didn’t even do anything wrong?? sure he didn’t text me, but he had no clue he was supposed to? idk it was all complicated and weird. and then when i wasn’t mad that he didn’t text me, i was having arguments with him in my head, preparing for some weird fight that my brain just assumed was going to happen whenever we did get into contact. which is weird, bc my sp and i never fight. like, this is my ex. yet i literally cannot tell you a single fight that we have ever had. we literally get along perfectly. we have never fought (or even argued) once in all the time that we’ve known each other. yet my brain was always fighting him. and it was just, exhausting?

and so one day, when i was troubleshooting, i realized: rem, if you were in a relationship right now with your sp, would u hate him? would u be constantly fighting with him? god i fucking hope not! 

now, what would i be thinking? i’d be laying in bed at night, hugging my pillow, thinking about how much i love him. reflecting on how happy he makes me, how perfect he is, how good he makes me feel. i’d be thinking about how he is the most perfect boyfriend i could ever have asked for. i’d be content after spending a long day with him, excited to spend the next day with him as well. 

and during the day i wouldn’t be wondering why he wasn’t texting me. if anything, i’d be wondering why he was texting me considering we were literally hanging out, together, at that very moment! 

i would trust him. i’d be walking on cloud nine. i’d be content. i’d be...happy. 

now, in no way am i saying that you need to be happy 24/7, or dancing on air, or feeling intense butterflies in your stomach. you’re allowed to have other emotions. you’re allowed to feel anger, you’re allowed to break down and cry! you’re allowed to have bad days. but if you’re feeling these negative emotions about your desire, i want you to try your hardest to release them. i don’t think any of us want to have breakdowns over our manifestations and cry about them, but if it happens, it happens. just pick yourself up afterwards--or stop it before it even really begins, trust me, it gets easier to do this--and maybe do a few deep breaths to calm yourself down, and remind yourself why you’re on this journey in the first place. once again using the sp example, it’s because you love your sp. because they are perfect for you! they make you happy. you love their smile, their laugh, the witty conversations you have with each other. you love being in their arms.  you love when they’re in your arms! they did something that made you fall in love with them, or want to be in a relationship with them. what was it? focus on that. 

enough with the sammy ingram (i could go on a whole rant about her) style affirmations. with the “he’s going to fucking text me, he has no choice, he’s my fucking boyfriend and he does what i say.” like....ew?? i used to say shit like this, and it was really what started making me resent my sp. i was ordering him around in my head, creating this weird dynamic between us (which, he wasn’t even aware was there), and getting mad when he wasn’t doing what i was ordering him to do. looking back, it was borderline psychotic. it was just turning it into me against him, and that’s not what i wanted at all. i want to be in a relationship with him, with mutual love. i don’t want to be his boss, or his mom, or his fucking military sergeant!! (i don’t even know if that was the proper term bc fuck the military, but u guys know what i mean lmfaooo)

(disclaimer if u use these types of affirmations and they work for you, go for it. but i used them for a while and they just weren’t it for me. carry on)

i guess what i’m trying to say is, those affirmations weren’t making me feel good. they weren’t making me feel like a “boss ass bitch”. they were making me feel...like a bitch. and strangely, powerless. i’d say these affirmations, or just bland ones where i wasn’t necessarily demanding my sp to throw himself at my feet and kiss my shoes and tell me he is nothing without me, and ultimately, if i wasn’t feeling resentment, i was feeling...nothing. 

once again, i want to make this so so so clear, you don’t need to be happy to manifest. but my belief? if your affirmations aren’t making you feel joy, or excitement, or contentment, then what’s the fucking point? if you think of your desire, and don’t feel positive feelings about it, then you might have lost your way a little. 

don’t worry!! it’s an easy fix. easy, and even...fun? rewarding? comforting? i just want you to take some time--laying in bed at night is the perfect time to do this in my experience--to think about why you want your desire so badly. do you want money? think of how great life is going to be once you have it. of all the stuff you’re going to buy, for yourself, and maybe even for others. don’t focus on the problems you want to fix with it right now. think of that clothing item you’ve had your eye on, or that book you’ve been wanting to read but haven’t felt like “wasting” money on. think of how excited you are to buy those things, because you’re going to! think of the good. not the bad.

remember: you create more of what you focus on. focus on the good, get the good. focus more on the bad...get more of the bad. 

your manifestation is done. it is created. it is on it���s way to you. it is here! all there’s left to do is feel excited. it’ll be here any moment now, how fucking exciting is that! it’s safe for you to be happy. it’s safe for you to focus on the feelings you would have if you had it, rather than focus on affirming specifically to bring it to you. it is safe to be happy. 

i used to affirm solely for contact, all day every day, and sometimes i’d get it. but it’d be short lived, my sp would be distant, etc. but then once i started focusing on truly living in the end and basking in my love for my sp, thinking about how perfect and amazing he is, i not only got contact (without having to specifically affirm for it), but he was actively engaged in our conversations, making up new topics to keep the conversation going, asking me about and expressing interest in my hobbies and interests, bringing up and reminiscing on old memories of our previous relationship, complimenting me, flirting with me, asking me to hang out, etc. shit i was not getting when i was “he is so fucking in love with me and he’s texting me right fucking now”-ing all day long. i started focusing on how amazing and perfect and good to me he was, and that’s exactly what i got in my reality. who would’ve thunk? 

and you know what? yeah, he fucking loves me. he misses me and he wants to be with me. but that’s a given. but that doesn’t fucking matter. i am the only person who matters in my reality!! sure he loves me, but do i love him??? that’s what the universe wants to know. that’s what truly fucking matters. the universe brings me my desires. so i’m gonna fucking desire it! 

guys, please trust me on this. just try it out, with whatever you’re manifesting. this could be what you’re missing. this could bring your manifestation to you. i promise, if you’re like i was and feel resententment or anger or hatred towards your desire, this is going to make you feel so fucking good. just stick with this for a week or two. i promise, you’ll see movement.

and remember, there is no one to change but self. don’t change them (or it), change your perception of them (or it). 

let’s make manifesting fun again!!! it’s the perfect tool to bring happiness into your life. so fucking let it!!!! 

so no, you don’t need to be happy in order to manifest. but....maybe, just maybe, prioritizing your happiness isn’t such a bad thing. i mean, who doesn’t want to be happy?

[write-like-wright]

since you did the prosecutors before can we get exes headcanons for them (like what they would be like if they were ur ex LMAO)? if this is too broad u can pick ur favorite aspect of it (u dumping them, them dumping u, seeing them in public one month later 🥰 etc)

skjdksfnfjnf this is so funny yes!

Being their ex: Ace Attorney rival prosecutor edition

Miles Edgeworth

if you thought he was awkward while you were dating, wait until you see him after your breakup

he does NOT know how to behave around you at all anymore

mostly attempts to avoid you

may or may not pull another one of his "prosecutor Miles Edgeworth chooses death" stunts

goes to Europe for a few months to compose himself and figure out how to proceed

he's especially stumped if you are somehow obligated to interact, either through work or maybe if you live nearby

tries his best to be civil and gentlemanly, but it's painfully obvious he'd rather be anywhere else in the world at that moment

I imagine you'd have mutual friends, so before every group outing he asks if you're going to be there

something may suddenly come up if the answer is yes

*cough, cough* "I can't, I'm sick"

"boo you, Edgeworth"

I'm assuming you broke up either because of how much he works or because he fears for your safety because of your relationship

maybe it was just a heated steel samurai discussion taken too far

Franziska von Karma

oh boy, this is not gonna go well

so cold to you in the public

throws around a "foolish fool" or two your way

grips her whip so tight her knuckles turn white

cries when she gets home

absolutely cannot forgive herself for allowing someone to know her so intimately and see her in her vulnerable moments and then they're just... gone

probably puts her off dating for a while

if I had to guess why you broke up, I'd assume it was due to her intensity or competitive nature

Diego Armando/Godot

this man has many, many exes

not much changes in his demeanour towards you

he's as cool and as smooth as ever, but is careful not to cross over into the flirty territory

you're either addicted to caffeine or absolutely repulsed by it at this point

walking by a coffee shop makes you uncomfortable

don't know why you broke up, but you get back together at least twice before separating for good

Klavier Gavin

Klav remains his good old, friendly self

will drop an album about your breakup

expect a lot of hate from his stans

the media hounds you

you get invited to participate in a few reality shows probably

he feels bad and tries to defend you

offers to make it up to you by taking you out for dinner

you hook up

you break up again because you can't stand the constant scrutiny and him being away for long periods of time

rinse and repeat

Simon Blackquill

there are so many potential reasons why you could've broken up

too intense? scary at times?? manipulative without even realizing it??? spends half his life savings on a fancy katana???? who knows with him

goes full emo

do you guys know that canonically those marks on his face are from crying so much in prison? yeah (they're apparently starting to heal too, good for him)

acts all tough at work, goes home and cries to HIM - Gone With The Sin blasting at full volume

flip-flops between being a gentleman and a jerk should you meet in public

makes a few snarky comments about you and your relationship to hurt you, then has a minor freakout when realization.exe kicks in and he notices you actually are hurt

apologises by sending you cute bird pics

"Look at what Taka did today."

"He's wearing the bandana you bought him :)"

"Please respond I'm so sorry don't block me"

You eventually remain friends so you can get bird visitation rights

Nahyuta Sahdmadhi

acts polite and smiles sweetly, but occasionally ends the conversation with "I will pray for you", not unlike a hostile southern lady

you miss him and his expensive haircare and skincare products

you can definitely live without the 8-hour sermons

perhaps the cultural differences were too hard to overcome? or maybe it was the constant travelling? in either case, you mutually decide that ending your relationship would be for the best

I imagine dating literal royalty would be exhausting

Barok van Zieks

make no mistake, this WILL cause a scandal

no matter the reason for your separation, get ready to deal with some serious gossip

everywhere you go, you notice people whispering about you

"I hear they ended their betrothal with Lord van Zieks."

"Well, I say! Can't imagine dealing with the Reaper myself."

everyone wants to hear your side of the story and any potential dirt you may have on him

Barok acts as gentlemanly as ever, as befits a man of his standing

he's a solitary man, but his solitude soon leads to loneliness and resentment

his consumption of fine vintages increases by tenfold

whatever it is that happened between the two of you must have been major

betrothals are not lightly ended, especially with the heir of a powerful noble family

might not even be your doing, perhaps family got involved

perhaps, his family reputation has been besmirched? ahem

Bonus: Kazuma Asogi

poor Kazuma can't catch a break

Ryu gets a tear-stained letter written on 18 sheets of paper, front and back

"Oh, dear," Susato sighs. "I suppose this means the wedding is off."

while he's no lord, he is a prosecutor in the service of Her Majesty and the news of a courtship ending would be scandalous

perhaps, for that reason, and fearing how the public would react to your relationship (it is Victorian England we're talking about after all, Van Zieks' views are far from unique), you chose to keep it a secret

at first exciting, your secret meetings and whispered words soon become tiresome

the fear of being caught is always gnawing at you

he may lash out initially when you leave him

offers to make your relationship public, to hell with the society

you both know it's a bad idea

"This is all your fault." he sighs as he pours himself another chalice of Van Ziek's fine vintage.

"My fault? How is your poor performance today in court my fault, my Nipponese friend?" Barok spits out. "You have been distraught for days now, man! Pull yourself together!"

"Not you specifically," Kazuma brushes off. "Your kind."

"My kind?"

"Stuck up posh twats."

Gina walks in just as they're about to draw their blades

listen babes I'm a Kazuma simp this is the only way i could envision dumping his ass

[radiotorn]

TF2 ASK MEME... THE EVENS

DAMN HOMIE‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ thank u ok under the cut bc it's a lot:)

2- Who is your favorite mercenary? Mmeehehhehehehe Demoman :] i kiss him and rotate him in my brain

4- Do you have a favorite tf2 pet? If so then who? oh my god ARISTOTLE!!!!!!! I don't care if it's not canon or whatever i love spys bird so much i want you to all look at this bird

6- If you are in the fandom, how did you get into the fandom? Im not really in the fandom besides occasionally drawing the mercs im just in my little bubble of mutuals who are the only right people about any of the characters. everyone else can stay quiet though

8- Did you find out about tf2 by the game, sfms or the comics first? None! i found out abt the game YEARS ago From this YouTube poop, used as a flipnote i cant find anymore. But from there, it was the "Meet The" videos i must of stumbled upon randomly???

10- Favorite quote from the Meet the… videos? engies "best hope…not pointed at you" bc i remember being like !!!! :OOO!!! FUCK!!! thats badass . when i first watched it

12- Favorite quote from the comics? okay it probably doesn't count but its one that sticks its the screen on admins monitors waayy back in the beginning that say "miss pauling. hide." sticks with me bc it is just a little haunting like…. :)

14- Do you have any OTP(s)? if so then what? hmm…i like a lot of pairings but ones that i find extra nice and awesome is swordvan, spy and heavy (idk their name but they r criminally underrated and i enjoy them together), engie and demo(i also dont know their name cries) and boots n bombs. sniperspy is fun sometimes tho

16- Do you have a BROTP? if so then what? i LOVE pyro and heavy ok i think they are the best like they. i cannot even put it into words they're everything to me. scout and sniper are also buddies too

18- Favorite headcanon? this is extremely self indulgent and like not backed by anything but pyro is hungarian and mexican. this is so true to me forever and ever. i also really like the hc that soldier enjoys painting

20- Do you have a favorite tf2 fanfiction? If so, what is it? Oh my god i will link it to you RIGHT MEOW!!! Tori u already know but to anyone else pls give it a read and check out this authors other works they fuck

22- Do you have any tf2 ocs? If so, then tell us about them!! IIII DO! I won't go into too much detail, but i have The Horticulturist(Horti) and The Pathfinder(PF). Both are Hungarian, Horti is involved with agriculture/plants/etc and PF is an ex-aperture employee with memory issues and menthal illness plaguing him all the time that makes sure battlegrounds r safe to fight on and that their base isn't falling apart they're strung together by spaghetti noodles

24- What is your favorite (official or unofficial) SFM? this, this or this

26- What is your favorite tf2 comic? i think blood in the water bc of just how much fking happens but also idk i like all of them a lot. especially 7 :')

28- Is there a character you hated at first but now you love? not particularly there is still hatred in my soul for c!heavy always

30- Which character is underrated? Demo, Heavy and Soldier. We all know this FAR too well :| it's a damn shame because i love all of them so so SO much especially demo he's my husband i kiss him every day and night

32- Who was your favorite character when you first got into the fandom? Did it change? Oh Yeah. My fav at the start was Medic, and then it shifted to Sniper, and now it's Demo/Heavy <3 though i frankly find myself loving all of tha mercs they all make me smile

34- Favorite moment from the comics? seeing admin all decrepit and dying bc she looks very gorgest to me. or when sniper gets shot because my god? or when we see engie at all. i love him. i always wished they did more with pyro in the comics tho :(

36- Do you have a favorite AU? What is it? I'm not sure??? I haven't seen too many AU's besides like monster or aquatic or freaks if they even count. though i guess technically qu/azies po/otis vids are an au so that for sure!!!!!!!

38- What is your favorite cosmetic? i would say Aristotle again but i mentioned it earlier soooo perhaps the seared sorcerer for pyro …but COMBINED with discovision!!! you wish you were me (me pictured below)

[literaphobe]

season one of she-ra rated by catradora content

the sword part 1: right off the bat we find out just what adora’s all about. she’s a so called goody two shoes but she’ll lie to authority to protect catra.... ok lesbian lmao. but then we meet catra and she’s like “hey adora ;) how’s it hanging?” and we get it. we completely get it. oh my god. everything from the way catra talks to the way she laughs. adora never stood a chance :( we get a classic locker room flirting scene where catra teases adora and adora pretends she’s above all that only to be like hey cat gf is that a MOUSE which is very rude :( don’t scare ur cat gf or she will become evil :( oh wait. anyway.... their flirting gets cut short because homophobia walks in and separates them :/ before that tho she praises adora. adora who loves her gf so much ignores shadow weaver’s praise and says “catra did so good tho <3” and puts her arm around catra which pisses off the only homophobe in etheria. adora doesn’t really want to follow shadow weaver because she just wants to be with catra, and she even argues with shadow weaver about bringing catra onto the field with her. but she loses the argument because shadow weaver fucking sucks and has no idea how to be chill :/ catra finds adora after that and greets adora the way all gals greet their pals. by... pouncing on her waist. ok lol. catra is so proud of her gf getting promoted and says baby i love you <3 baby when are we leaving <3 except adora says catra’s not allowed to come :( so cat gf gets sad and runs to the roof. in response, adora gets a literal Grappling Hook to chase after her. adora doesn’t want her gf to be sad so she steals a skiff and they go on a date <3 but they’re so obsessed with control and play fighting with each other that adora falls off the skiff and finds out she’s like. god with a sword. i mean she-ra. uh, so adora fake wakes up in a dream and is like catra? :( because catra is the only thing she ever looks for when she wakes up (yes i am clowning. of course i know catra was the only person she was with but shhhh), and then she wakes up for real and catra is straddling her waist, which... ok. catra worries about her gf maybe being brain damaged so they cut their date short and go back to the fright zone. they go to sleep, and have their nightly sleepover, which means they sleep in the same bed :) even tho catra’s own bed is already on top of adora’s :) superb :) anyway adora dreams about her lesbian sword and wakes up scared. she smiles when she sees catra sleeping soundly in her bed however because uwu cat gf go zzzzz. adora gets out of bed which catra IMMEDIATELY senses because she opens her eyes right after and follows adora. because uh.... their friendship is just that lit and strong. catra is worried and wants to follow her gf to find this cool lesbian sword she keeps talking about, but adora makes perhaps one of the worst calls ever and tells catra to stay behind because she doesn’t want to get catra in trouble :( which is like, she has good intentions and all, but you should always bring your gymnast cat gf along when u look for sick ass gay swords. adora would know that if she wasn’t raised by the literal embodiment of gay oppression. oh well. guess they’re gonna have to fight each other for five seasons to figure it out. 9.5/10 because we got so much content all literally in the first ep. it’s like hey look they’re in love and they’re girlfriends who touch each other way too much. and we’re like noelle that’s really cool! will we get more gf content? and noelle said yes but also you’ve got a big storm coming! and it’s going to kill you!

the sword part 2: against adora’s wishes, catra gets in trouble for adora’s departure, and this makes catra sad bc where did her gf go? :( shadow weaver accuses catra of knowing where adora is because despite her raging homophobia she still knows that adora wouldn’t go anywhere without telling catra. and she’s right but just because she’s right doesn’t mean i have to like her. anyway... catra gets sent to bring adora back to the fright zone, and even tho shadow weaver threatens her in scary horrid ways catra is only happy to see adora again and once again pins her to the ground with her knees on adora’s.... yea........ and she’s happy bc she has a tank :) good for u catra we all love and cherish you <3333 anyway catra makes fun of adora because she thought adora got captured which... technically true but also not but also! catra sees a flower in adora’s hair which she takes to mean that adora cheated on her :( wtf :( and adora says no baby :( no i didn’t cheat on u :( and catra is like. ok fine. let’s go back to the horde. and adora says baby we can’t go back to the horde :( did u know that they were evil? im woke now. come be woke with me. and catra is like. wait. u just realized the horde sucks? did you not see shadow weaver electrocute me. did you think she did that for gay rights? and adora is like catra baby i didn’t mean it like that :( but it’s too late. it’s all very upsetting and i don’t wanna get into it. essentially catra thinks she can escape shadow weaver’s abuse by fighting the horde from within but adora thinks she can escape shadow weaver’s abuse and the horde’s evil by literally escaping the horde. u can see where both of them are coming from and that’s why it’s so sad :( it’s so fucking sad y’all :( they do their whole. come with me vs stay with me thing,,, and it doesn’t work out. duh it’s like ep 2 why would it work out. catra finds out that adora can use her lesbian sword to turn into a taller lesbian and instead of giving into her gayness and marrying adora right away her internalized homophobia makes her run away :( she thought adora doesn’t care about her anymore because she has new friends and can turn into a giant sword lady :( and it’s all very sad :( 8.5/10

razz: adora’s having trouble turning into she-ra. no one asked, but based on this whole show, it’s because she just broke up with catra and that hit hard :( it’s pretty hard to turn into ur superhero alter ego when you’re yearning. back at the horde, catra is also yearning. she is bitter because everyone is raving about how lit she-ra is and catra is like yeah she-ra is sexy but can we have a discussion about how she-ra breaks your heart. how she-ra makes you cry. how she-ra abandons you for new friends and doesn’t want to be your gf anymore? have we considered that? and everyone is confused because why does catra seem like she knows she-ra so well. didn’t you just meet her catra? and even tho catra is a bitter ex who’s angry and wants revenge she’s still like. in love with adora and wants to protect her. so she acts cool and doesn’t tell anyone that adora is she-ra. even tho lonnie tells catra not to be so feral because “adora’s not here to protect you anymore” catra still wants to protect adora. okay. yes the thought of that does make me wanna cry. what about it. catra goes and lies on their shared adora’s bed. and she sees the teeny drawing of catra and adora on the bed frame. it reminds catra of the break up and she scratches adora’s picture. she regrets it like instantly and starts destroying the bed. and she cries. she like cries real tears what the FUCK. and then SHADOW WEAVER WALKS IN?? rude much?? can’t a girl get some privacy as she mourns a break up with a girl she’s been in love with her whole life but technically never dated for real? 9/10

flowers for she-ra: adora realizes that it’s a pretty bad idea to break up with your girlfriend when you spent your whole life sleeping in the same room/same bed as her and she comes to the Very Shocking realization that she gasp! cannot sleep without catra! wow who would have thought! so she immediately goes on a search for a sleeping partner rebound... who is glimmer (sorry glimmer it’s her first time not having her gf) and she even sleeps at glimmer’s feet the way we saw catra sleep at adora’s feet. really makes you wonder if catra and adora take turns doing that? sleeping at each other’s feet because their internalized homophobia (thanks a lot shadow bitch) prevented them from going a step further and sleeping in each other’s arms... oh well. meanwhile, catra is gloating about being force captain, but she’s also Still protecting adora’s identity as she-ra. and apparently, drawing pictures of she-ra? that she hid from shadow weaver? is that what happened? i can’t tell if she drew that picture or not but the way it looks from the scene she Definitely drew that picture! hello????? anyway, catra’s still crying to anyone that has ears about how her gf dumped her, when really it was kind of a mutual break up that was entirely shadow weaver’s fault even tho she wasn’t there. sigh. i’m bringing this up to a 7/10 because of “it’s just a phase! she’s confused, i’ll bring her back, i swear :(“

the sea gate: “i’ve got something more important to do” and here we see the start of catra literally abandoning all other duties because she would rather go flirt with her enemy gf... she literally hopped onto she-ra’s sword.... she insult her gf....... she brag to her gf about achievement.... but she also want her gf back :( adora refuses to go back to the land of oppression tho so they get into a. really suggestive fight. and catra always makes adora leaving the horde out to be adora leaving her.... she’s like babe i am literally so sexy. why would you dump me :( i’m hot :( and she’s right but i hate them. can y’all just like. not be so gay? :/ it’s starting to make me a lil bit homophobic tbh! and catra whispers into adora’s ear but it’s kind of like an insult so she gets water slapped and is forced to stop flirting :( boooo 8.5/10

system failure: hm. catra wasn’t in this ep? damn :( it’s a great ep but it’s pretty hard to find any catradora if adora is delirious the whole time and catra isn’t there. but! drunk/high adora existing gives us an idea of what she would be like around catra. 1/10 for the potential

in the shadows of mystacor: catra’s face when she sees adora in shadow weaver’s spy cam thing... interesting. she also acts like she’s So Sick of the adora missions which is true but also she is lying. kind of annoying that shadow weaver would be like. homophobic. but when she’s messing with adora’s head in mystacor she uses catra’s voice and laugh to achieve maximum effect :/ which like. thanks? but catra wasn’t actually there so shadow weaver really full on gaybaited adora huh :/ adora eventually defeats shadow weaver and we finally see catra again uwu she ends up plotting to kidnap bow and glimmer but the line “if you want to take down adora, you have to go for the heart” is so interesting because we eventually find out just how much of adora’s heart is filled with catra... 4/10 on its own 6/10 if you let the heart comment ruin your life!

princess prom: ARE Y’ALL READY TO PARTY oh my god,,, this is it you guys. this is THE ep. so funny of adora to be like. i have so many plans for every single thing that might happen. i am GOING to spend the party getting princess frosta to join the rebellion. and then catra shows up and adora is like nvm. what if i followed catra wherever she went instead. which is very interesting! adora, sweet baby, why do you always assign yourself to fight/follow/chase catra? when according to her in future eps is actually a bad decision which we can infer from her saying stuff like catra knows my every move she will be able to take me down,, ok then stop hogging her all the time?? anyway. let’s get into things chronologically. “how dare those princesses pretend they’re better than you? just because you’re different? how dare they abandon people just because they don’t fit in with their perfect little lives? how DARE they take best friends and turn them into giant sword ladies who run off with people clearly inferior to you?!” catra.... u got sth to say there buddy? :/ u got something u wanna get off your chest? :/ u had us in the beginning but then you started to get really specific :/ what’s that about sweetie :/ catra’s coping mechanism for this is to put on a really hot suit and going to princess prom to seduce the shit outta adora? fucking genius. yes she also kidnapped two people but let’s focus on the ingenuity of catra’s plan to make adora hot and heavy and also somehow jealous the entire time. incredible. so, catra shows up at the prom with scorpia and adora immediately starts bickering with her about rules. she fails to get catra kicked out so she resolves to stalk her instead! and catra... oh catra... she puts on a whole show..... performing everything from popping a tiny cake into her mouth to circling around a pillar seductively and dropping a note into a bin that says hi adora >:3 with a drawing of catra’s face that she worked hard on!! and adora looks like a crazy stalker ex gf and everyone is like damn.... u ok? :/ but adora doesn’t have time to care too much aside from a little “haha i swear i’m not a weirdo!” look because her mind is just screaming CATRA CATRA CATRA and she finds catra creeping up to entrapta. but ofc catra’s not trying to push entrapta off the ledge! no! she’s using entrapta to make adora jealous :3 catra pulls entrapta close and says “she stole my food and then asked me to spy on people with her. is this what love feels like?” and it WORKS and adora has to pull entrapta aside and be all hey i know we’re not super close yet but the bro code kinda states that u don’t date ur friend’s ex :/ so could you please back off? and entrapta is like say what now? ur gf just ditched btw so adora goes running after catra again and surprise surprise! it’s time to dance! and there are romantic lights and music! and uh oh! everyone else has a partner except for catra! guess this means adora’s gotta dance with her ohhhhh noooooooo :/ “i don’t know about you.... but i am having a blast” i really don’t think catra was lying!! i am on the verge of passing out!! adora moving away from catra after saying “whatever it is you’re planning, it won’t work!” and catra, many dance partners later, slamming back into adora’s body to continue their conversation with “maybe my plan won’t work, but then again...” THE DIP!!!!!!! “maybe it already has...” oh my god you guys. what the fuck. like they get into an angry shove fight after this but the tension! the tension! and then adora LIFTS catra up in the air? real close? they get ice blocked by frosta after this, more specifically she traps adora because she shoved catra first djfjdjdjdjd,,, after telling glimmer to find bow catra grazes adora’s chin with her tail to remind her that she’s still here!! don’t neglect!! and catra says the iconic “it was fun distracting you though ;)” line that adora was clearly affected by because she memorizes it and says it back to catra..... years later. i CANNOT make any of this shit up. what the fuck y’all. the fact that these evaluations are so long bother me but i HAVE to call these hoes out!! moving on, adora runs after catra in a very dramatic chase/fight scene, and adora is very amped up on uh, hormones. she catches catra at a “dead end” and goes “hah! trapped >:)” which is such a stupid thing to say to ur cat gf who can jump very high, so catra says “you wish ;)” and it is just. everything they are saying sounds very suggestive okay why are they LIKE THIS anyway catra jumps up some floating ice and adora follows her up the floating ice because she’s gay and she will jump however much is required of her to chase her gf down ok!! and so adora and catra are now on some ice cliff where adora keeps lunging and they’re also kind of like dancing? and catra is being very ~smooth~ dodging all of adora’s strikes and hitting her in one move. that’s kind of cool but also don’t bully your gf :( come on catra :( not cool :( but adora doesn’t give up and they continue fighting, until one missed move from catra nearly sends her off the cliff. but adora thinks she’s hot and she’s in love with her so she’s like nooo catra don’t fall off this cliff ur so sexy aha and catches her by. the waist. not the hand! but by the waist. any normal person would’ve gone for the hand. factually speaking, catra’s hand is easier to reach than her waist. but adora’s a hoe. so, she grabs catra by the waist and pulls her in closer by grabbing! oh you guessed it! her chest! like she grabs her shirt but it’s the part of the shirt that was at the chest. what the fuck. they both get this look in their eye that makes it seem like they want to kiss each other???? hello????????? and like. very upsettingly we now know that they’ve always wanted to kiss each other so. that knowledge makes watching this scene even worse. they shouldn’t have become enemies if they were going to be this horny. they’re so distracted by each other’s lips that they forget they’re standing at the edge of a cliff and guess what! they fall off the cliff! what a twist! but adora is like i’m NOT going to die because i was distracted by catra’s lips, so she grabs her hair stick thing and stabs it into the ice cliff. she grabs catra by the hand to save her, not the waist this time, because holding catra’s hand is also gay so she might as well do it. too bad catra lets go of her hand and ditches her tho :( i would minus points for that except it wouldn’t make much of a difference. catra says “see you later, princess ;)” because she’s already expecting to see adora again.... good lord 4828473737373/10 thanks noelle! i died

no princess left behind: but i’m a buddhist so i’m back. we open with catra laughing so prettily looking at her gf’s lesbian sword. very cute. later on, when shadow weaver betrays catra and tells her to go pack her things because she’s not needed anymore... adora gives her this look? :( she looks like she feels bad because catra’s clearly still suffering under shadow weaver’s thumb. but let’s zero in on the most important part! catra dragging the sword and pointing it at adora, before turning it around and giving it to her. “this is NOT because i like you” ok catra i didn’t think that before but now i Absolutely believe that you did this because you like adora. and u can tell adora kind of is like. ready to start her whole “you can come with me! we can be together! :(“ thing but things are complicated and catra told her to Just Go so... it is a lot and we know things are deeper than just catra liking adora but we will get emo over that later. 9/10 that was a good fucking scene

the beacon: “she left me behind too, like i was nothing :(“ some people say this is catra manipulating entrapta, and they are correct, but also she’s like.. “oh adora left you too? mad kin :(“ she was deadass about to start a support group with entrapta and technically she kind of did! good for them <3 catra goes to look for first ones tech and adora goes to look for the beacon to learn how to heal and guess what happens! they’re looking for the same place! catra’s “on second thought... hey adora >;)” at the end pushes this up to an 8/10, but that’s just like the last five seconds of the ep so objectively the rest of the ep was like. 4/10 idk lmaoooo

promise: finally some good fucking food. catra follows adora into the beacon and has a little fun spying on her and enjoying her epic fails at getting information on she-ra. she also finds the first one tech she needs, because she’s a multitasker and she can spy on her gf while doing important missions <3 but also she gets caught and adora nearly kills her fksjdjd “hey watch it! >:(“ is so funny because catra??? u are trespassing???? but also uwu baby yeah don’t accidentally kill ur gf adora :( adora’s reaction is also very funny “catra? what are you doing here? :O” as if catra hasn’t shown up at 70% of the places adora has been, but the way she asks it’s like. adora is happy to see catra? pleasantly surprised? man she is whipped. anyway, adora tries to pull the Tough Girlfriend move and like, mildly scold catra for trespassing into a building where only one person (she-ra) is allowed to be in. but she still grabs catra’s hand and guides her to an escape path :’) she lifts up a giant door thing and waits until catra runs in to let go and run after her <3 chivalry isn’t dead after all <3 they get into a lover’s tiff as they run for their lives and essentially it’s like “babe wtf WHY are giant mutant spiders trying to kill us isn’t this ur house” “they’re trying to kill YOU this is why you ring the doorbell instead of running in secretly after i open the door!” “oh and how was i supposed to know that! why can’t you just tell your teenage mutant ninja spiders to chill out??” “they’re not house-trained babe :( i moved in two minutes ago they came with the apartment” anyway the angry spider monsters catch up to them so catra goes “adora? :(“ and that’s enough for adora to take Direct Action so she slashes the walls and ceiling of the room they’re in before grabbing catra to shield them both. she is NOT getting her deposit back but uwu anything to keep gf safe <3 adora transforms back to her usual body and she once again reminds catra that she’s Not Supposed To Be Here and she’s like “god now i have to like Protect You and it’s gonna put my life in danger :/ haha what are you gonna do for me in return tho ;)” and catra is like. “well good thing i didn’t ASK you to protect me” so adora is like :( —> >:( wait u know what??? ok u know what????? why are u here >:( how’d u find me?? >:( and do u mean any of this in a gay way?? >:( say it’s in a gay way right now >:( and catra is like. ur gay castle sent a gay beam of light into the sky. i saw it immediately bc im gay but i do NOT mean this in a gay way. and adora is like oh :( ok :’( and then asks about shadow weaver bc she saw what went down in the horde and she like. i think she can tell shadow weaver still exerts some form of control that catra hasn’t broken free from? :( and then catra is like haha shadow weaver is a LOSER and adora starts giving her Gay Looks and it makes catra scared because her gf now thinks she has a crush on her!!!!!!! how Embarrassing!! “ugh, i knew you’d be weird about me letting you escape” ok so why did you say that thing about not liking her? “i told you it’s not because i like you!” there it is! that’s EXACTLY what i thought you’d say you lesbian! and the way she says it??? she definitely likes adora???? she is so bad at lying?????? and adora is so smug about it like her Face plus her crossed arms and the whole “i mean, i didn’t ;) i didn’t say anything ;)” her eyes.... your honor she’s gay...... she’s like what if we were in my secret castle..... standing amongst the rubble because i destroyed the infrastructure to protect you..... and we were both girls....... adora was Ready to turn her sword into a Bed right then and there ok!!! it’s not me it’s Her Eyes,,, anyway catra starts being salty again and brings up bow and glimmer and is like hey where’s those idiots u dumped me for :/ thought you looooooved hanging out with them and doing everything with them :/ like we used to :/ are they not as fun to hang out with adora is that why you’re standing in this spider infested building with me instead :/ and adora suddenly remembers that she can’t just be horny and that she has to hold catra accountable for her actions so she’s like oh my friends? the ones who u kidnapped and held for ransom???? >:( and catra is like ya what other friends would i be talking about :/ like god i know she’s evil but she’s so funny take her back adora :( jk ik ur gonna start begging her to Come With You in like minutes u absolute simp. but before that happened catra was like fuck u lets Split Up >:( we already broke up why would we run away from spiders together huh? unless u still like me? but clearly there’s only one way for them to walk so they can’t split up just yet and adora gives catra this >:( look so catra is like FINE one last date and they walk away together. they go into this... dark room and catra wants to leave the dark room because she’s scared of ghosts :( jk but the door disappears and something scans catra and adora and light hope is like cool! time to show them memories that are specifically picked to make catra resent adora! which :( not cool light hope :( i get that ur a bot who’s programmed to serve the homophobic agenda but damn u were gay once too :( anyway they’re sent to a memory in the fright zone and adora gets Angry bc she thinks catra tricked her and catra is like i wouldn’t play u like that :( and she finds out it’s all fake so she’s like adora :D u don’t have to be scared or mad at me anymore! :D she goes to look for adora but adora’s watching a memory of them when they were six and being really cute. back when adora had the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair and only really cared about making catra happy and having her back. catra blinded octavia and insulted her and adora was still like: ur not bleeding ur bones aren’t broken and u picked a pointless fight with someone who did not provoke you in any way. where is she i will insult her some more. i love u. like damn adora really do be a ride or die girl huh!! she’s still like this but they both have too many issues to realize it :( anyway catra and adora slip into the catra and adora of their memories and begin running off together holding hands............ and then they Realize they’re running off together Holding Hands....... and catra pulls away because of her internalized homophobia :( devastating. they get into a tiny little fight over magic and kidnapping again and then adora’s face softens and she’s like catra :( why Did you let me escape :( i know i made fun of u for it before but i legit do not know if u meant it in a gay way. pls confirm? :( u could have gotten caught catra :( why did u risk it :( is it because you secretly want to run away with me and join the rebellion? :( and be my gf? :( she’s so caught up in her questions that she nearly falls off a cliff AGAIN and catra catches her by the hand because these girls are obsessed with almost falling off cliffs to their deaths and saving each other. don’t judge them their Intricate Rituals are THAT deep. and catra is like. did you really think. i would let shadow weaver erase your memory like that? and risk you forgetting our relationship? even towards the end when we were broken up and fighting each other it was kinda lit and i want u to remember it. and adora is an idiot so she’s like idk lmao probably aren’t u like evil now and catra is like well you have a point but also fuck u for thinking i don’t care about u,,, u never did have too much faith in me :( and adora is like can u blame me :( and catra is like ur hot so.... no. i will let my tail linger on your hand as a hint that i still love you. and then catra is like.... adora i know u said fuck horde rights but does that include our relationship :( u had good memories right :( of me? :( and adora is like um duh??? i miss you so goddamn much too oh my god and catra is like hey how dare you imply that i missed you even tho it’s true!!! get over urself! and adora is like not until you admit you like me ;) and they play fight again because the rituals are so intricate..... and catra lies and says she doesn’t like adora ok lmao... they enter the next memory and it’s catra and adora sparring and they’re competitive but it’s also flirty? catra pretends to be hurt to get adora to let her guard down but lonnie interferes and this causes adora to beat catra. which. yeah :( and after adora wins she does the good gf thing where she asks catra if she’s okay and catra’s not ok but she lies and hides away to cry :( and we get it babe we do!! it’s hard being in love with someone who you’re also resentful of because you’re raised in a competitive environment and always treated like you’re worthless in comparison :( but the simulation stops and catra is caught by one of the spiders and adora doesn’t manage to save her in time, grabbing her hand only to fail and have catra slip through her fingers :( they scream for each other but catra manages to get the upper hand on the spider monster, except adora charges in at the last second and delivers the final blow, further driving home the false point that light hope is trying to make :( adora just wants to protect catra but because of their upbringing catra sees it as adora always wanting to be the best and adora thinking she’s better than catra hence her telling catra what to do “all the time” which isn’t totally true but it’s what catra has been led to believe :( and also adora’s upbringing plays into it too because she thinks she has to save everyone and take responsibility for everything and it’s all just really sad bros :( what the fuck :( adora apologizes for leaving again and tries to convince catra she never meant to leave her and that she wants catra to come with her because she knows catra isn’t a bad person :( and you can see!! catra considering it!! but then precisely BECAUSE catra is considering it the memory simulation thing kicks in again and... hoo boy. we see catra and adora sneak into the black garnet chamber, after being cute and competitive and running around the horde swinging from wire to wire.... they get caught by shadow weaver and she specifically punishes only catra. and it’s so fucked because it puts adora in this position of guilt where she always feels like she has to protect adora whilst slowly brainwashing her over the years into believing that catra does do disobedient things and that adora can only escape that if she’s always perfect and taking charge of everything. and for catra.... it takes the mutually loving relationship they have and poisons it because shadow weaver makes it very clear that to her, catra’s only redeeming quality is that adora favors her? and if not for that she would be disposed of? and so it’s very hard for catra to find individuality and a healthy connection to adora which created unresolved resentment and issues and just... :( and the whole confrontation they have after the simulation ends... adora could never protect catra in the way she needed to be protected because adora was also a child, and receiving a different form of abuse, and it’s just. harder for catra to leave? especially because she didn’t receive a sudden destiny the way adora did and her issues with the horde were never limited to morality. and so catra is just. she has way too much to work through and she can’t see past her resentment for adora because the machine is making her remember all of it. and so she tells a half truth and half lie to adora about giving her the sword because she didn’t want adora to come back :( catra runs away from adora and is attacked by flashes of memory. and then she faces one last memory alone. and it’s the promise adora made to catra when they were kids, about always looking out for each other, and catra looks at kid!catra and thinks adora has broken that promise, still stinging from the hurt of adora leaving her behind after finding the sword and becoming she-ra. it was never meant to be like this but catra is hurting so she focuses only on her side of things and how she saw these events play out and she :( decides to kind of betray adora? it hurts So Much because adora looks so hopeful when she sees catra while hanging on for dear life, and she thinks catra will save her again but catra talks about how the sword won’t work for her because she’s never been the Special One like adora was always heralded to be in the horde. and having adora literally be she-ra just drives that point home for catra and she hates adora for it because this means all the other stuff she believes is true too. adora made her feel weak on purpose, adora made catra think she needed her on purpose. “every hero needs a sidekick, right?” and adora’s “catra, no, that’s not how it was!” hits even harder now because we know that adora just. loved catra. she was in love with her but adora was also like catra in that she’s a product of her circumstances and upbringing. she was the way she is as a means of survival. but the one thing there that was pure and true was that they loved each other.... upsettingly neither of them can see that. catra goes down even further into the path of evil and thinks that. being free of adora. is the thing that will liberate her and bring her happiness. which. she is wrong about. but she can’t exactly see all that clearly right now :( and adora begging catra not to “do this” which... means she’s begging her not to leave? “bye adora! i really am going to miss you” and adora’s desperation skyrockets but it’s too late :( catra doesn’t come back for her and adora cries.... and it’s just so insane that literally everyone who wants to control adora focuses on poisoning her bond with catra because that’s the relationship that... matters most to her in the world. when you’ve loved someone your whole life it hurts when they betray you and it hurts to betray them too, as we can see from catra when she arrives back at the horde. she essentially looks Wrecked and freezes up when scorpia calls her “the best friend ever!” but i want to make one quick note of her “personal space” talk with scorpia? like fjdjdjdjd you have never had personal space with adora not once in your life ok that’s reserved for the gf only i see. 10/10 i am so wrecked emotionally this is way too much but also because it makes me so emo i will give it a perfect score but nothing else. no bonus points because i do not want to reward putting me in pain!

light hope: light hope showing adora the memories that make her feel guilty and it’s the first scene where catra sees her as she-ra and walks away.... adora’s been feeling guilty over catra since the moment she failed at getting catra to leave the horde :( 3/10

the battle of bright moon: “catra will be leading the horde when they attack. i have to face her.” it’s so interesting how there’s so many pressing things at hand? the weather is screwy, the alliance is broken, no one’s coming to save them, the rebellion could be crushed, but the thing that is really bothering adora, the thing that she brings up first, is catra. “i saw catra in there. i thought i could get through to her, but all i did was push her farther to the side of evil” she sounds... so heartbroken about it all :( catra and adora meet on the battlefield and the first thing catra says is,,, u guessed it,,,, “hey adora.” and adora’s like “catra. surprised to see me?” and like damn they’re really so good at being enemies. the talent. the tension. impeccable. and then catra says nah i didn’t think u died and im glad u made it out alive. and adora, bless her soul, is like oh.... u mean in a gay way..... u didn’t want me to die..... for homosexual reasons?? and catra is like no! haha! i uh, i just wanted to kill u in a cooler much sexier way. and adora is like oh :( oh >:( oh >:’( and they get into a very heated sexy fight like catra wanted. and they taunt each other like. “i thOUgHt yOU weRe suPposED tO bE stRoNG” “aND i tHouGHt yOu wERe sUpPOsEd tO bE fAst” you know. very cool well crafted taunts. and like. they fight a lot which is kind of sad but also kind of sexy because their styles are like? similar and different? which is the dumbest way to compare any two things ever but like :( y’all get what i mean right :( we get one more Hanging Off A Cliff scene and this time adora grabs catra by the chest and shoves her against the wall, and catra is like cool! but u did this,, for what? and then adora realizes catra was just distracting her Again and bright moon is very badly under attack :( catra bids her adieu so adora can run back and fight. but she like. gets caught :( and catra walks up to her and gently caresses her cheek before adora passes out and it’s evil but it’s also tender? but it’s also evil i know i know :( all of the princesses come to help adora so she sends a beam of magic gay light and heals everything and then all the princesses send a gay tsunami washing over catra. the horde loses, and catra retreats in a skiff, but adora and catra exchange one more Look as she leaves... hm. 9/10

[floraone]

So, September is coming up, and with it smutember, and we’re doing it again! (At least I hope you’re with me, lol).

Just like last year, it runs alongside to the official daily word prompts on the official smutember blog: Smutember is an event that runs all throughout September for all fandoms. The following is meant as an addition, not a replacement. If you want to do daily prompts, please use the official words prompts (linked above). However, since daily prompts can be a bit intimidating (especially for a fandom corner that’s 25+ years old like ours and people in it have busy lives), as the resident smut advocate in our fandom, I again customized an alternative that can still incorporate the official themes.

Just like last year, down below you have a list of TROPE AND THEME PROMPTS. They’re a remix of sorts of last year’s tropes, with some you’ve seen before and some new ones, meant to spark a variety of ideas. The idea is that with these you can post once (or twice) per week instead of daily.

Be it for fanart or fanfic or any other sort of fanwork, tropes can be combined, (and they can be combined with the daily themes too), whatever floats your boat. Also, specifically: This event isn’t Usamamo-centric only. I will reblog any Sailor Moon content of any pairing as long as it follows the rules! (See below)

The aim of this event is to create sex-positive content together that celebrates a healthy depiction of consentual sexuality. Erotic fanfiction is a beautiful art, especially in a fandom of ours so largely cultivated by women and for women, as well as a strong inclusive focus on queer and gender-queer content and their creators!

What’s new: I’m taking a page out of the mini-bang’s impressive book, and when smutember is over, I will compile all entries that followed the rules into an online-only e-zine! This also means that art that may be too explicit for tumblr can still be included in the e-zine!

Here are the weekly trope challenges:

Reinvent a trope!

WEEK 1 (September 1st - 7th): Pick 1 or 2

🍋 Reunion Sex 🍋 Sex Fails 🍋 Second Chance Sex 🍋 You Talk In Your Sleep 🍋 Unresolved Sexual Tension 🍋 New Old Flame 🍋 Go Seduce My Archnemesis 🍋 Bedsharing 🍋 Sex with the Ex/Break-Up Sex 🍋 In Public 

WEEK 2 (September 8th - 14th): Pick 1 or 2

🍋 Make-Up Sex 🍋 Battle Couple 🍋 Mission Sex 🍋 Work-Out Sex 🍋 Accidental Pervert 🍋 Bathing/Shower 🍋 Pool/Onsen 🍋 Sexual Fantasies 🍋 Blind Date 🍋 Aroused By Your____ (pick a feature) 

WEEK 3 (September 15th - 21st): Pick 1 or 2

🍋 Established Relationship 🍋 “Thank God We’re Alive” 🍋 Caught In The Act 🍋 First Times 🍋 Introduction By Hook-Up 🍋 Pining 🍋 Locked In Together In A Small Space/ Trapped Together 🍋 Huddling For Warmth 🍋 Socially Distanced Sex 🍋 Stupid Sexy Friend 🍋 Caught In The Rain 🍋 Living Food Platter/Eating Off You 🍋 Shunga

WEEK 4 (September 22nd - 30th): Pick 1 or 2

🍋 Mutual Masturbation 🍋 Awkward/Clumsy Sex 🍋 Oh Crap There’s Fanfic Of Us 🍋 Talking In Bed 🍋 Fidelity Test 🍋 Fake-NOT-Dating 🍋 Mindlink 🍋 Sex Games 🍋 Tinder 🍋 Blackout/Quarantine/Disaster Warning/Weathering The Storm

RULES

1. Rating: These fics don’t necessarily need to be M or, in the case of Ao3, E- rated. Obviously, they are very, very welcome to be explicit for this event, but you can also go T-rated and stay in lime or ‘blacked out’-territory if you’re uncomfortable with writing explicit scenes! Both is perfectly and absolutely welcome! This of course also goes for fanart - your fanart may depict sexy scenes, but does NOT have to be explicit! (It can, though! Be aware that for tumblr’s guidelines, when sharing your art first, you may have to clip your images as a sort of preview. The original can then be sent to me privately to include into the e-zine!) 2. Minimum Age of Characters: Since this is a community event, if you do go explicit M rated material: age them up where necessary! So that everyone can be comfortable writing and reading these, let them be 18 at the minimum if they’re going to openly and explicitly wohoo. (16-17 is the global average age of consent worldwide, and also the average age for first sex among girls in many western countries. However, since most fanfic readers are located in the US, where the age of consent is 18, we’re going with 18 so that everyone can be comfortable reading!) If you go for canon fics at a time they are below this age, where you do not want to age up (say you’re going for an episode fix!) please stay in T territory for this event. 3. Off limits: Depictions of sexual acts that contain harmful, violent and non-consenting behaviour with non-consenting individuals (or those that aren’t able to consent, for instance because of their age, or state of mind among else!). If it doesn’t fly by law or the ICD in real life, please refrain from depicting it in the context of this event. This means that dubcon and noncon will not be reblogged for the event, so that people can be safely consuming the content without being triggered. All content will be screened in this regard, and I may contact you regarding trigger warnings. This is not at all to censor content, or that this content is in any form less valid (as long as it is properly tagged and not including characters that aren’t of age), but simply to ensure a safe environment for everyone reading. 4. Tag your triggers. Except the aforementioned limitation of harmful content, nothing is off limits. Explore your kinks! But if you write something that might be offensive to your readers, please tag it. This is ALSO a good way for your readers to find exactly what they ARE looking for! On Ao3 this can be done directly on the fic tags, for FF fics and fic links you can do it here on Tumblr via the fic post tags or in ANs. This is in consideration of your readers. 5. You can obviously post art for this event too. All previous rules apply here, as well. Unfortunately, Tumblr is now against tasteful nudity. That doesn’t mean you can’t link to a deviant art or similar account though, should you want to. And, since this year will include an e-zine at the end of it, all art will still be included fully in it. Here too, please tag your triggers. If you still want to post art on Tumblr, choose a T rated image - clip them where needed, or keep them (semi-)clothed, show us a heated kiss, etc! (Obviously we would love ALL the art and the nude body is a beautiful, wonderful thing, but obviously Tumblr doesn’t agree with us anymore!) 6. Have fun! Celebrate sexuality in an open, sex-positive way with us, try to be unapologetic about your likes while you write this, and appreciate the beauty that comes in the form of content with a largely female-gazing creator-base and audience! Smut in fanfiction has been beautifully put as the subjectification of sexuality (as opposed to  objectification). So let’s celebrate this art form together! 7. Reviews: No one is forced to review. It can be uncomfortable to review a fic that contains sexual acts for any number of always valid reasons. Keep in mind, however, that much like a Burlesque dancer on stage, putting out sexual content can also be very intimidating to an author, and nothing is more discouraging than silence when baring yourself to an audience like this. That being said: Both Ao3 and FF have the option to review in anon mode. That means you have the option to remain anonymous while cheering the author on all the same. Just like the Burlesque dancer, your resident smut authors prefer to go on stage to loud cheering - it makes it all less awkward for them, and feels a little more like a big celebration!

If you’re unsure what sex positivity entails and want to read up, I wrote a post about it here.

This event is not supposed to cause harm. This means that I will screen all content before I reblog it here, and include it in the e-zine. So that everyone of age can feel safe reading the fanworks in the event, dubcon and noncon will not be reblogged and included in the e-zine, and accurate tagging and content warning will be watched. This does NOT MEAN that you cannot post this material: your own desire to write it and someone else’s desire to explicitly read this material are valid. I do not entitle myself to censor. It just means it will not be reblogged and shared through the event so that everyone may feel safe to read to the best of my ability. (But, of course, remember that I, too, might be biased, and not discover subtle forms of it, either. We’re all, in the end, a product of our upbringing and society, and I cannot be completely unbiased.)

During the event, I will be posting all Sailor Moon Smutember contributions in this format on my blog if you @ me to the post.

The official hashtag for the event is #smutember2020 hosted by the official smutember blog. Using it helps people find the content who search for it as well as those who wish to block it!

[lululablette]

When it comes to dsmp specifically, there's 3 main things stopping me from getting into it:

1. It's so big lore-wise that I genuinely would not be able to keep up and I feel like I'd probably get lost/left behind (when I tried to understand it the first time, every time I THOUGHT I'd gotten a basic grip on it there ends up being more and THAT became frustrating instead of exciting)

2. I cannot stand Dream as a person (completely my own takeaway from seeing some of his tweets and some stream highlights, he's too much like an ex of mine and generally gives me ick vibes)

3. I know you say fanbase shouldn't dictate what you should enjoy but it still kinda does if you want something you can enjoy with people together and dsmp fits the definition of something to be enjoyed with multiple people. And blocking is only half the battle because the amount of people who take blocking as a personal attack and witchunt over it is ridiculous (general fandom statement, not dsmp specifically)

I like mcyt a little bit. I enjoy tommyinnits stuff and I knew Wilbur's stuff WAY before dsmp, like back in the Soot House days. Everything else though I would rather not deal with.

I’ll respond point by point to avoid crossing my statements lmao (i’m bad at organizing my thoughts) 1)yeah I completely get that, it’s safe to say that, mostly no one in the fandom is 100% on point with the lore. not even the streamers are. it’s all over the place and it keeps adding on and on. at first i tried to follow ALL of it, but thats just impossible. my take is that you should just follow a few side of the lore for the streams and then catch up with blogs that are dedicated to do a boil down of the lore streams you missed! but i get that it’s just time conssuming lol 2)I mean what can’t be helped, can’t be helped! if you don’t like how he acts, who am i to judge! i can say he’s a really sweet caring guy, but if it hits you on a more personal level, i can’t try to convince you that he’s not a bad guy! Though relatable bc George looks like one of my crushes who actually hurt me a lot a few years back, and yet HERE I AM! go figure! 3) i actually kind of contradicted myself lol, i both said you can enjoy a media without interracting with the fanbase, and also said that the fanbase is the core of fandoms and stuff like that. actually both can coexists. its hard to do, but you just need to find the ““right people”“ (and by that i mean, the people that you have fun interracting with) and while i do have tough skin and i genuinly don’t care if people give me shit for blocking them, i get that not everyone does! Though i haven’t blocked many people in the fandom, i mostly ignore them and avoid interraction and just vibe with my own mutuals. and thats fine too!! you don’t have to take the WHOLE cake! I watch only a few of the content creators of the DSMP, and that doesnt mean i watch everything they do (my hyperfixation does make me want to watchonly a lot of very specific creators lmao) I hope u can still enjoy tommy’s content or wilbur (if you still enjoy his recent stuff!) all the while avoiding toxic people in the fandom :] ty for the input!! 

[zrllosyn-art]

As per request by pumpkin, its Adult human mantis!! a super rough sketch but it gets the concept across.

I also went off and did a ton of worldbuilidng so theres that under the cut.

So first of all THE HIGHER BEINGS. I was thinking originally this world was occupied by non-human monsters, who had a fuckton of magic and were the origin of higher beings.

Ex) dia originally looked way more monster and dragon

and then alot of them got into a big ol war, until one of them becomes the victor. THis guy, who i am not sure about their design yet. But theyre humanoid, and also has a masked face.

(based off of old angels quite a bit, and its super obvious so the design is just a concept for now)

After the ‘Victor’ comes out on top as the clear winner of the goddamn war, they basically go “YOU FUCKED UP A PERFECTLY GOOD WORLD IS WHAT YOU DID. LOOK AT IT. ITS A BURNT ROCK NOW”. And more or less manhandles the rest of them into recreating life on the planet. And also makes all the beings on the planet humanoid, as a treat.

(”because i won goddamnit at least let me have this”)

And thats how you get the start of higher beings? Theyre all humanoid and the masks were used to anchor souls into these new bodies, and give them access to magic/mana?

The masks eventually become obsolete, and become a medium for magic as souls and flesh become intermingled and anchored to eachother.

ALSO THE FATE SISTERS. This part is subject to change depending on how the three of us (me, pumpkin, nd KC) change up the fate sisters’ dynamics.

(third one yet to be designed but theres three of them)

Originally the three of them did NOT get along?? They were born around the same time but they were also born into a war environment and just. Were constantly at each other’s throats.

And then the ‘Victor’ comes by and goes, hey u three work together to make ppl for me please thanks. And just. Kinda lumps em together and makes em work. Which, they dislike.

Theyre not allowed to actively fight each other and also have to make a single group of ppl (not one group for each of them) so they just, kinda compete in giving favor to the strongest and just. kinda showing off to each other like my favorite is stronger than ur favorite.

That leads to a pretty combat oriented culture for the mantis-group. Eventually the ‘victor’ drops in to see what they were doing, found the three sisters being a TERRIBLE influence, and just. NOPE IM ASSIGNING YOU THREE TO SOMETHING DIFFERENT.

And just, kind of, takes the three of em away. Which leads to myths about the mantis’ higher beings leaving for ‘a better place’ and whatnot. The legend changes as time goes on, like the three sisters merged into one higher being that ‘ascended’ or that there were 4 sisters that ascended (the previous merged version becoming a 4th sister). The most recent version of there being 4 sisters that together created a ‘heaven’ and ascended, leaving behind the thrones and altar that will serve as a road to lead their people to this ‘heaven’.

Myths go all over the place as it gets older.

Meanwhile the 3 sisters get assigned to being the fates, which is basically paperwork hell. They just, sit and record stuff and make sure theres no weird inconsistencies and prevent the start of another wide scale war like before.

Its boring as FUCK but it also makes them all work together and slowly they get along. Theyre old and know each other for too long. They still fight sometimes though. Siblings.

Meanwhile new higher beings appear often. Theyre either made because of heavy belief, or they exist in the first place and gain belief. It goes kinda visa versa. The Pale King is a newer one. The radiance and the void is both pretty fuckin old, theyre from when the war was going on im p sure.

The void is older than all of them i think? and cannot really be communicated with. Maybe caused a ton of chaos and is too strong to be left alone, so had the radiance assigned to them as a seal. It clearly didnt work.

ALSO MANTIS VILLAGE.

was figuring out more cultural stuff and this was touched on by the fate sisters, but was thinking about masks and their cultural importance to them. As seen in the Mantis sketch theres 3 stages of masks?

The first one is the one your parents or guardian makes for you as a child. Its rounded and distinct shape indicates to everyone else that you are a child, and is meant to be protected. Someone else is responsible for your actions, and you cannot fight the kid. This is a babey.

In the first stage mask kids are taught? reading and writing, basic exercise nd stuff. Things to help them develop mentally and physically. Fighting is technically not allowed, but the kids fight amongst themselves anyways.

At the 2nd stage you’re deemed old and maybe mature enough to learn combat. At this stage no one is allowed to actually fight u seriously other than your peers, but sparing and combat is allowed. You make your weapon then, and the 2nd mask is usually self made following a template.

Weapons are made out of chunks of pale ore (found in a specific place). You kind of just, break it off and then chip and sharpen it. Weapons are made by the wielder and changes over time with them. Weapons tend to maintain their original shape, so they tend to maintain a pretty organic shape. Theres alot less ‘forging’ involved in the process.

(mantis has two, and theyre both pretty rough at the edges. Carvings and such are added as you age as you like, usually to signify and important event)

The third mask indicates adulthood. Each person dons their 3rd mask at different times, whenever they personally feel ready. Usually someone else, a mentor figure or some equivalent, tells the wearer when they feel the to-be adult is ready for a 3rd mask, but the choice is ultimately up to the wearer.

The 3rd mask has no template and is completely up to the wearer, and is usually decorated by loved ones. The symbols on the mask are typically pale and hard to see, and usually have some sort of deeper meaning to the wearer and whoever carved it.

Once the 3rd mask is donned, the wearer is considered an adult, and is permitted to wear armor. This means that in all combat (other than mutually agreed upon instances) there will be no holding back. Armor indicates people can come at you with full strength during spars, because the armor will give you the leeway you need to survive. If that makes sense.

IN MANTIS’ CASE.

Mantis probably only dons the 3rd mask when they leave or is close to leaving Hallownest. Their mask was carved by themselves, although there are a few large nicks in it from when they sparred with Cyrill and Ruby. Theyre left on there on purpose.

(Not that cyrill or ruby know that its on purpose, or the significance of it being left there. Theyre both just waiting for mantis to bring it up again, as a way to guilt them both into doing something)

Putting on armor is a pretty ceremonial thing probably, but probably done by Mantis in private. A short small ceremony. Its probably a little sad, cause its supposed to be a big ol ceremony but they have to do it alone. lmao.

Mantis is pretty traditional, despite not really buying into their culture’s religion. They still kind of, like the traditions themselves, and so keeps following them. Out of respect for those that raised them and also just. As traditions, rather than their religious aspects. 

Probs heavily dislikes a lot of the religious aspects of their culture probably.

[chiarahq]

me  being  late  ?  unfortunately  more  likely  than  u  would  think  😔  but  i'm  here  now  &  so  excited  to  be  part  of  a  celeb  rp  again  because  they  are  my  kryptonite  !  i’m  sofi  (21,  gmt,  she/her)  &  this  is  chiara,  &  yes  i  did  carefully  select  this  gif  because  she  looks  hot  asf  &  i  want  to  thirst  trap  u  all  into  plotting  with  me  (ur  welcome)  !

⋆˙⊹  naressa valdez  ,  cis female  ,  she/her  — ‏‏‎ ‎ don't  look  now  ,  but  chiara  flores  just  walked  by  us  .  the  twenty -  three  year  old  lingerie  model  turned  entrepreneur  has  been  causing  quite  a  stir  lately  .  they're  known  to  be  quite  decorous  &  garrulous  ,  but  also  sybaritic  &  ambivalent  .  it's  no  wonder  they're  hollywoods  resident  bellwether  . rumor  has  it  they're  hiding  redacted ,  but  don't  ask  them  about  it  .  

&.  a  satin  brassiere  peeking  from  beneath  a  velveteen  pantsuit,  dainty  gold  chains,  wine  -  toned  lipgloss  &  smoked  liner,  an  inviting  smile  that  would  make  a  stranger  feel  at  home,  and  the  gentle  graze  of  fingertips  against  the  forearm    .

𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐞  𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬.

full  name:  chiara  ysabel  flores. nickname/s:  chi,  open  to  pet  names. gender  &  pronouns:  cis  female  &  she/her. birthdate:  sept  25th. zodiac:  libra. orientation:  bisexual  &  biromantic. traits:  your  stereotypical  libra,  aka,  tactful,  gregarious,  &  visionary,  yet  indecisive,  vain,  &  vacillating. career:  lingerie  model  turned  fashion  mogul;  recently  launched  her  own  makeup  and  lingerie  brand  (  claim:  fenty  )

𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭  𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐚  𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐬.

familial  connections  :  chiara  was  a  long  awaited  addition  to  the  flores  family;  with  maria  flores  thoroughly  convinced  that  she  would  never  experience  the  motherhood  she  had  always  dreamed  of  until  she  was  finally  blessed  with  her  first  &  only  child.  rather  naively,  maria  and  andre  expected  that  the  birth  of  their  daughter  would  be  the  missing  piece  to  restoring  their  already  crumbling  marriage  -  however,  if  anything,  the  added  stress  of  a  baby  was  the  nail  in  the  coffin.  that  said,  it  was  in  their  best  interest  to  stick  it  out  for  the  sake  of  their  public  reputation.  a  tiny  chiara  often  found  herself  caught  in  the  middle  of  an  argument,  and  as  she  grew  older,  found  herself  stepping  up  as  mediator.  her  presence  was  a  constant  reminder  that  although  they  no  longer  loved  each  other  the  way  they  once  had,  they  had  both  contributed  to  create  another  human  being  that  they  equally  adored  with  all  their  hearts  -  and  they  would  continue  to  push  themselves  to  last  another  day.  the  facade  of  their  relationship  finally  came  crashing  down  when  chiara  turned  sixteen,  and  andre  flores  was  caught  having  a  cosy  dinner  with  a  woman  much  too  young  to  be  his  wife.  once  the  public  found  out  there  was  no  longer  any  need  to  keep  up  the  pretences,  and  so  the  flores’  filed  for  divorce.  although  chiara  was  entirely  aware  of  the  state  of  their  marriage,  it  was  still  difficult  to  endure  -  especially  in  such  a  public  sense.  that  said,  everything  worked  out  for  the  best,  and  the  flores’  still  spend  every  holiday  together  as  a  family.

career  ;  from  a  young  age,  chiara  shone.  her  cherubic  features  &  polite  nature  opened  multiple  doors  for  her  from  a  young  age;  from  her  successful  modelling  career  to  her  stint  in  child  acting.  chiara  pursued  a  lot  of  things,  but  she  never  stumbled  upon  anything  that  was  more  than  a  fad.  that's  the  thing  about  chi;  she's  passionate  &  always  on  the  go,  but  often  lost  interest  fast.  she’d  pick  something  up,  just  to  drop  it  the  next  day  or  week  or  month.  it  was  a  running  joke  within  her  family;  her  parents  unable  to  keep  up  with  what  would  capture  chiara’s  attention  next.  something  that  persevered  was  her  relentless  need  to  be  in  control.  some  would  call  it  pernickety,  though  she  would  call  it  having  direction.  whatever  she  decided  to  put  her  mind  to,  for  however  long  she  felt  like  it,  she  would  excel.  with  the  safety  of  her  parents’  wealth  to  fall  back  on,  chiara  tried  her  hand  at  pretty  much  everything  you  could  imagine  -  she  dabbled  in  photography,  took  a  few  singing  classes  before  she  ultimately  decided  she  was  tone-deaf,  rekindled  her  acting  career  for  the  duration  of  a  handful  of  auditions,  and  even  attended  college  for  a  whopping  seven  weeks  before  dropping  out.  her  career  in  modelling  was  the  only  thing  that  was  a  constant,  with  her  signing  with  tbd  lingerie  company  (  bc  we  don’t  stan  vs  in  this  house  ).  chiara  was  happy  enough  during  her  time  there,  but  the  lack  of  diversity  within  the  brand  became  outstandingly  obvious  (  👀  ),  &  eventually  she  decided  to  take  matters  into  her  own  hands  ;  launching  her  own  inclusive  lingerie  brand,  ysabel.  following  the  success  of  ysabel,  she  then  extended  her  brand  to  include  makeup  products. 

personality  ;   

yes  we’re  switching  to  bullet  points  who  needs  consistency

chiara  is  a  bit  of  a  walking  oxymoron.  she’s  an  incredibly  passionate  &  determined  individual,  yet  her  attention  &  interest  are  fleeting.  when  she  cares,  she  cares  with  every  inch  of  her  being  -  but  the  minute  that  drive  is  gone  ?  she’ll  ditch.  

despite  mediating  pretty  much  her  parents’  entire  relationship,  chi  hates  confrontation.  she  radiates  Bad  Bitch  energy,  but  really  is  prone  to  sitting  on  the  fence  &  ducking  out  when  shit  hits  the  fan. 

chi  is  ridiculously  self-indulgent.  she  cannot  say  no  to  herself,  like,  ever.  it’s  a  dangerous  habit  that  extends  beyond  herself  -  if  she  sees  something  she  thinks  a  friend  will  like,  it’s  in  her  basket  without  a  second  thought,  aka  she’s  the  best  present  giver  ever.  as  a  result  of  her  indulgence,  however,  she  can  sometimes  come  across  as  kinda  ignorant  :/  

relationships  are  kind  of  an  iffy  area  for  chi...  she  knows  all  too  well  how  badly  they  can  go  spiralling  down,  so  she  tries  not  to  let  herself  get  too  attached,  but  for  the  most  part  she  fails  &  becomes  kinda  ...  infatuated.  she’s  terrible  with  rejection  due  to  her  obsession  with  how  people  view  her,  &  will  without  a  doubt  take  it  to  heart  -  so  for  the  most  part  sticks  to  flings  &  meaningless  flirtationships

has  a  pet  doberman  that  she  absolutely  adores  &  treats  as  if  its  a  little  baby  handbag  dog  <3 

𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝  𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

brotp  

sibling  like  friendship

ride  or  die 

childhood  friends

family  friends 

platonic  soulmates 

model  friends  /  models  recruited  for  her  brand  

unlikely  friendship

intrigue

project  partners

familial  connections  ?  maybe  a  cousin  ? 

mutual  friends  

childhood  crush  ?  maybe  a  friend  of  the  family  where  their  parents  always  joked  they’d  get  together  one  day

party  friends

good  /  bad  influence 

opposites  attract

exes  to  friends

muse

wingman/woman/person 

pr  stunt 

exes  (  good  terms,  bad  terms,  past  fling,  ghosted  )

will-they-won’t-they

fwb  /  ewb

confidants 

rival

[its-jijii]

i’m scared of tanizaki junichirou

welcome to me theorizing and questioning the tanizaki siblings cause they honestly kinda scare me. everything im talking about has already been animated in s3 but warning for spoilers if u haven’t seen it yet.

hi okay well i’ll start off with the eyes. harukawa has explained this so i’m sure most people know of it, but if you don’t, eyes = danger/morality. characters with darker eyes are more dangerous or “evil”, and characters with light eyes are more innocent. i personally think something is off with naomi’s eyes. also if you wanna skip reading about eyes go ahead

in comparison to mafia members or ex-mafia members, naomi doesn’t stand out that much. it’s true that her pupil isn’t large and dark, like kyouka or kenji, and her eyes don’t have any kind of shading or rings.

however, if you were to only look at ADA members with more narrowed eyes, naomi’s starts to stand out. her iris has thicker lining and touches the bottom of her eye (ranpos also do but hes squinting 24/7). her pupil is bigger than others, too. without harukawa’s stated stylistic choices, her eyes being like this wouldn’t have much significance. 

buuut i wouldn’t be talking about it if it were normal. considering naomi’s role, her eyes are uncomfortably dark. she’s supposedly a student and part time office worker. fukuzawa worked as a government assassin in the past. kunikida isn’t evil, but he is physically capable and dangerous. even her brother has lighter eyes. why are naomi’s eyes darker, indicative of evil or danger, than that of other dangerous ADA members? she has no ability from our knowledge.

for a nonviolent, non-combative character, naomi’s eyes pretty dark. i can’t help but think she is hiding something. 

beyond naomi’s unusually dark eyes, there’s the subject matter of the sibling’s relationship. not the incest part. something is clearly off between them- their willingness to do anything for each other is what is off-putting. naomi jumping in front of her brother to save him? not unusual. tanizaki willing to commit murder for his sister’s sake? woah there, hold on a sec

there is normally a line you would draw in what you would do for your sibling(s). for someone who is supposedly on the good side, that’s an extreme measure to take. and unfortunately it isn’t just tanizaki threatening to hurt people who hurt naomi- he has literally attempted to kill people to protect her or get revenge. 

first there was him choking higuchi, where if akutagawa hadn’t interrupted him, he probably would’ve killed her. secondly, when rescuing naomi and haruno from the guild, he intentionally used his ability to attempt to kill the guild members by getting them hit by a truck.

i’m led to believe that this love and dedication between them is mutual. naomi is protective of her brother and frequently follows him around. if she had any combative skills or ability, she would likely be using them to protect tanizaki. assuming this is the case, i wonder what caused their relationship to escalate to this point. for both of them to be so close that they would commit murder, throw away all morals and self preservation- i can’t see a normal sibling relationship getting to that point. technically they’re not that normal but you get the point.

aside from their actions proving their dedication to each other, there’s what they’ve said about the relationship. particularly, what tanizaki said about what naomi means to him during his conflict with the guild.

sorry for low quality screenshots. they’re from chapter 22

well, here we go. for starters, eyes again- tanizaki normally has pretty light eyes. however, when he speaks seriously about naomi in these panels, his eyes are always considerably darker. he is more dangerous, and as he said, willing to throw away all morals.

then there’s the god thing. he says that he can’t compare his love or willingness for naomi with anything. the example he uses is that “nobody would compare god with anything, right?” the way this is phrased strongly suggests that to him, naomi is akin to a god. highly revered, dutifully loved and willing to do anything, and that she can’t be compared to anything. she can’t be compared to other people, or concepts, or anything- to him, naomi is godlike and her importance is unquestionable.

lastly, there’s him saying that he would gladly reduce the world to ashes for naomi. at this point, there’s little doubt in the reader’s mind that he means this. he is very, very serious in what he would do for naomi. this kind of obsession and worship must have stemmed from somewhere or something. something must have happened for tanizaki in particular to act this way. but alas asagiri hasn’t given me jack shit so i have no idea what

tanizaki is scary beyond his loyalty to his sister, though. his ability, and what he said in chapter three. he doesn’t have a flashy or amazing ability, and it isn’t used in combat. this is true. of course there are other creative ways tanizaki has utilized his ability, but it is limited. in another post i discussed ability classifications in bsd. light snow falls under the non-combative category.

tanizaki’s ability itself cannot hurt people. his ability can affect himself, others, and his surroundings, but making illusions can’t hurt people. so, given this fact and the fact that he said that he is non-combative, i find his actions strange. other ADA members have either training in combat (kuni, fuku) or their ability  gives them a strength boost (atsu, kenji, kyouka, etc).

he hasn’t shown any knowledge of martial arts, and his ability is one of the few that can’t injure other people. so,,,, how did this man stand up to the three black lizard commanders on his own? he nearly successfully killed mori. he nearly killed higuchi. and though he physically didn’t do much, he did incapacitate two formidable guild members.

it’s true that most of these involved using his ability to disguise himself or his surroundings. however, he seems very, very adept at using his ability in these unconventional ways. maybe he’s just creative and good at thinking up tactics. buuut given that most of these instances involve him attempting murder, i have to wonder how he is so used to using his ability to assassinate or trick others. for a non-combative person, he seems preetttty violent

bonus that in most of these scenes, his eyes are very dark. sometimes they revolve around protecting naomi, and sometimes they revolve around infiltrating and assassinating the boss of the port mafia.

in conclusion i’m scared of tanizaki junichirou. naomi is suspicious and lowkey shady af, but i have not seen her act as drastically and terrifyingly as tanizaki has. thanks for coming to my ted talk i’ve been writing this for like three hours and now its four am. bye thanks for reading, i hope you enjoyed

[wincore]

AGREEEE, WORKING OVER THE WEEKEND IS THE WORST esp since im in uni full time and i work 9-5 on the weekends which means... no breaks for me ever.. 🥲

MASSIVE CRUSH ON OIKAWA OMGGG I SUPPORT THIS!!!!! but i am unfortunately much older than 15 and still enamored by 2d men 😔 life’s rough like that HDJWKDJ YES ATSUMU CAUSES PROBLEMS ON PURPOSE.. HES THE WORST!! btw.. ive heard that the oikawa to atsumu stan pipeline is very real... so if u get to s4.. u may develop atsumu brain rot like me 👁_👁

OOO alright run on, extracurricular, vincenzo, true beauty, love alarm, & perfect crime. NOTED!! ive actually been meaning to watch extracurricular for a while now, it looks so interesting!! now that it has the wincore seal of approval i must watch 😤 OMGG SAKURADA DORI I SAW HIM IN ALICE IN BORDERLAND!! super good show but really gore heavy at some points 👁

ahh ok thank u for the reccs, ive been thinking about starting demon slayer too!! shoplifters sounds really interesting :oo crime??? i havent watched a full movie in a while so i will def check it out!! THESE R ALL GOING IN MY NOTES APP.

NEXT YEARRR omg it sounds far away but i know time passes so quickly nowadays so I WILL WISH U LUCK ONCE AGAIN 💛 i hope u update us when the time comes!!

UGHWHHD EVEN THIS SYNOPSIS IS MAKING ME MISS UR WRITING?!? I LOVE THE WAY U WORD IT... “given a choice to pretend, you find that jaehyun is the lesser of the two burdens to bear” AHHHHHHH omg “he’s in a relationship and doesn’t rlly care about the soulmate system” THIS IS ALWAYS SUCH A PAINFUL SCENARIO IN SOULMATE AUS PLSS!!! Wait is the soulmate of yn gonna be an oc/vague character or another member :O EITHER WAY... PAIN! THIS IS GETTING ME SO EXCITED AND U HAVENT EVEN MENTIONED ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT JAEHYUN’S LIKE IN THIS FIC YET

RUNWAY CHARACTER CAMEOOOS YESS I LOVE RUNWAY YN!!!! i actually reread it last night and ugh i was reminded how much i love yns personality... just the process of experiencing all tht self doubt with them!!! so real & makes u root for them :’)

“if jeno plays edward i need him to that apple scene like taemin did” WHHHHHWJDJJWJDBW THIS MADE ME CHOKE ON THE WATER I WAS DRINKING LMFAO

GODDDD THESE TROPE/MEMBER PAIRINGS, HARD AGREE HARD AGREE!!! HAECHAN AND RENJUN ARE E2L 100%!!!! i think bc the ppl in the bff2l category cant convincingly hate yn back LOL

“gets complimented on his lyricism often but like every song’s about you” STOPPPPP HES SO PERFDCT FOR THIS TROPE!!!!!

OMG I SEE EXACTLY WHAT U MEAN ABT SICHENG IN ROYALTY/CHAEBOL AUS... i think like u said it’s because of his poise & the way ppl are generally in awe of him but also bc of his reluctance to open up!! more reserved until he trusts u... funny and kind but sometimes perceived as aloof... those r some prince tendencies! “what are corporate businesses but modern day kingdoms” LMFAOOWJDJ SERIOUSLY THO

“mans really said i will not give you any onscreen idol personality to work with” HDJWJDJWJSJ LITERALLYYYY this is why i have trouble reading jaehyun fics sometimes bc sometimes they can feel “inaccurate” but its mostly just bc there’s no Standard Personality Stereotype to go off of. but a random & uncommon trope i think he’d pair well with is exes to lovers!! Yes im basically just a jaehyun + angst advocate.

“i think most of them would pair well with bff2l??” FACTTTTTTT and no im not just saying this bc its one of my favorite tropes.. heh... i think i told u this before?? but ur like the main reason i started enjoying e2l!!! i didnt like it before bc i love the PINING in bff2l but then i started reading ur works n was like OH SHIT! THERES LOADS OF PINING HERE TOO...

i think yangyang is not bff2l or e2l, he is in his own category which is Annoyer2Lover HDJWKDJ ex: troublemaker, wasted nights

OMGGGG I DID NOT EXPECT ROYALTY AU TO HAVE SUCH A LARGE LEAD IN THE SURVEY??? and cryptids is so low 😔😔 cmon guys, vampires r fun!!!

WE R LITERALLY WRITING ESSAYS TO EACH OTHER RN BUT I LOVE IT 🥺🥺 its a such a nice break to read ur response when im burnt out from studying!!

OMG IM GOING THROUGH #moonwrites AND IM LITERALLY AN IDIOTTTT IVE BEEN OFF TUMBLR FOR SO LONG I DIDNT REALIZE THAT ROMEO ROULETTE HAD A PREVIEW OUT????

“And I get what out of this?” “Me?” IM IN LOVE WITH THIS CHARACTERS PERSONALITY ALREADY LMFAOO

“—and when this whole game you’re playing is over, you’re going to say I rejected you.” ?!?!???? THE WAY JAEHYUN IS A LITTLE SHIT! THEIR PERSONALITIES ARE BOTH SO FUN PLSJWJDJEJ IM MORE EXCITED NOW!!

pls disregard the part in my last ask where i asked abt romeo roulette.... i had no idea all of the information i needed was sitting right in front of me 😔😔

- tata

WHAT 9 TO 5 ON EVERY WEEKEND???? the system has failed you this honestly feels like a villain origin story 😭 when does it get better???

ALSO let me answer the other asks separately for better readability lol we really out here writing essays GOOD THING i have practice writing but like. this is infinitely better to write 🥰

PLSSS SOMETIMES I WILL SEE AN EDIT/TIKTOK OF OIKAWA AND BE LIKE DAMN I REALLY NEED TO CATCH UP I MISS THIS MF also are you daring me to ruin my life for 2d men bc i will do it without hesitation. wait till i watch hq again and get that atsumu brainrot with you he seems annoying enough for me to like ^_^

AND YES PLS I WAS SO ABSORBED IN IT!! extracurricular was the most gripping show i’ve watched in a while like yes enough teen romance give me two unhinged teenagers doing crime 🤩 AND OMG??? THAT’S WHERE WE SAW HIM TOO and although niragi was literally vomit-inducing human trash, sakurada dori is like. a good actor. except i hated coffee&vanilla which starred him it was literally so cringe i couldn’t 😭 i blame the writers for that though. IM EXCITED FOR S2 OF ALICE IN BORDERLAND THO i really like horror (and i can tolerate gore if ive been desensitized enough) and like i read the manga too!!! the games were really interesting (although morbid).

😭😭 MY NOTES APP IS FULL OF RECS FROM FRIENDS ALL OF THEM HATE ME FOR NOT WATCHING THE SHOWS BUT LIKE. i binge 3 or 4 at a time and strike them off and then go 6 months without watching a single tv series hhh.

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I SURE WILL UPDATE !!! it’s so exciting to think about grad school sometimes :33

AHHH IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE IT AND THE PREVIEW TOO SGSDJKDS there’s a few differences in the actual fic i think bc i changed up the language (and i dont remember what else bc i refuse to look at my writing) JAEHYUN RLLY IS A LITTLE SHIT he’ll be like hm yeah im pretty chill :) and then proceed to beat yn at her own game at times. (she wins mostly dw) the fact that i made her soulmate cha eunwoo like girl if i were you i’d crash their relationship 🥱 (jk) but like. jaehyun too is 🤩 despite being dry af

ASDKDSKDS YOU REREAD ALL (ALMOST) 19K WORDS ??? IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE THAT FIC SM AAAAHHH IM FEELING LIKE AN ACTUAL AUTHOR 🥰 i loved runway yn too they were like boss attitude with 20% anxiety.

LOOK JENO BETTER BE PULLING MOVES LIKE THAT TO IMPRESS THE GIRLS 😤 if he hits himself in the forehead with the apple, bonus points bc that was true comedy (as invented by taemin)

AND YES. LIKE I KNOW MARK HATED DONGHYUCK SO MUCH HE WANTED TO LEAVE SM BUT LIKE HE’S TOO NICE WITH EVERYONE ELSE 😭😭😭 i cannot picture him pissed off apart from that summer fight </3

thinking about dejun getting rejected by a girl he wrote a song for. rip brother.

IM GLAD YOU PUT THAT INTO WORDS BC THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT IT IS!!! he’s got all of these regal qualities but he’s still human ykyk so it makes for the most amiable person on earth 😌 i love this characterization of him!!

oof exes to lovers with jaehyun... i had a similar idea a while ago (with theme song sincerity is scary by the 1975) that i discarded bc i don’t think i’m cut out to write that 😭 (YET) so i will keep this is mind. u r so right about jaehyun feeling inaccurate bc it’s like he’s very mild in personality onscreen sometimes?? so him having strong personality traits makes me go 🤔🤔 that man is overreacting. (jkjk but like you get the idea)

WAIT RLLY OMG BC OF ME???? i would never enjoy e2l irl bc irl dudes are 🤢🤢 and if they annoy me i will end them. but in fiction the mutual pining and initial disgust at yourself for liking the other??? helllooo 🤩🤩🤩 especially if it’s in a romcom style <3 bff2l is also better in fiction bc if the relationship doesnt work out irl and the person become uncomfortable with me i will just get annoyed jskshdl

LMAO YOU ARE SO RIGHT ABOUT YANGYANG HE’S JUST THAT™ DUDE skgkhs he feels like someone fun to hang out with but he would annoy you the whole time. also he is cute 🥰

AND EXACTLY!!!! IM HAPPY FOR ROYALTY AUS BUT CMON. LOOK AT THOSE VAMPIRE TEETH. feel like media ruined vampires for people 😔 

THIS IS SUCH A NICE BREAK FROM STUDYING HONESTLY!!!! im like working on two semi-large projects AND studying course and out-of-course material simultaneously so my brain is a little fried. thank u for this 😘

[handspoken]

PRE-ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP MEME 2.0 for @undyiinghero

send me a  ✿  and i’ll fill out the template below. BOLD for things i could definitely see or want, italics for things i could see or am unsure of and striked out for things i don’t want or cannot see.

FRIENDSHIP.     childhood friends  /  work buddies or coworkers (kind of?? looks at the DT injection hc you have)  / family friends  /  friends with benefits  /  smoking buddies  /  adventure buddies  /  fake friends (a mutual dislike for one another but hiding it HMM HMMMMM???)  /  recently friends  /  party buddies  /  friendship of need  /  dying friendship  /  circumstantial friendship  /  partners in crime  /  old friendship  /  [ your muse ] is the good influence /  [ your muse ] is the bad influence  /  [ my muse ] is the good influence  /  [ my muse ] is the bad influence  /  opposites attract  /  ride or die  /  frenemies  /  roommates or flatmates  /  penpals  /  exes to friends  /  enemies to friends  /  other

FAMILIAL.     siblings [ half ]  /  siblings [ step ] /  [ my muse ] is an older sibling figure to your younger sibling figure  /  [ my muse ] is a younger sibling figure to your older sibling figure muse  /  [ my muse ] is a parental figure to yours  /  [ my muse ] is a child figure to your muse  /  guardian figure  /  legal guardian  /  adoptive child  /  foster child  /  [ your muse ] is taken under mines wing  /  [ my muse ] is taken under yours wing  /  other: a sort of sibling respect as dyne gets to know pap and therefore gets to know g.aster? he wouldn’t be old enough to consider himself a dad figure but he would at least look at dyne and say ‘i would protect her from bullies because my lil bro likes her’ if she didn’t already suplex them lmao

ANTAGONISTIC.     dangerous to each other  /  dangerous to others  /  unpredictable /  rivals  /  petty  /  developing into sexual or romantic tension  /  based off family matters /  based of off circumstance  /  based of professional matters  /  based off misunderstanding or lies  /  conflict of ideology  /  betrayal  /  hero - villain dynamic  /  enemies  /  fight club  /  friends turned enemies  /  lovers turned enemies  /  exes turned enemies  /  other

tfw i have too much to say and have to put it under a readmore.

FINAL THOUGHTS.    looks at your about page. looks at you. looks at my hands about to type this out. vibrates.      ultimately this depends on how much you’ll be keeping as i know u want to revamp ur blog to an extent, but for now i will assume at least the kid dyne knew g-man as he was developing the CORE.       with the assumption that dings is a brother to s.ans and pap, this presents a different set of presets than him as a dad figure. obv he probably wouldn’t have a super close relationship to anyone who was related to dyne like her own mom but he would have the chance to at least meet them? and if so then g.aster would be a sort of uncle figure or older sibling if the two got closer. the connection that dyne has with pap is the strongest and most viable way that she would know g.aster at all, but i don’t think the two would be heavily invested in each other until it came to the matter of SOULs and DT. on the other hand, alph (mmkqt specifically, with the pre-established ‘g.aster is my mentor’ thing) would probably mention him as a hardhitter and strict teacher. another would be through g.erson as like a ‘oh yea i know this chap who is now this strange scientist fellow’ - the point i’m making is that there is not a real way for them to meet each other on their own? it would be thru mutual friends and by then they already have a preconceived notion of what the other is like. dyne wouldn’t have a positive picture of him aside directly from pap lmao, poor guy, and it wouldn’t be anything beyond him as a scientist who knows dyne the captain of the guard unless they needed business to attend to.      it would be like a strictly professional relationship if so, with dyne who is asked to bring humans to the lab for... stuff (experiments) and maybe g.aster who would “improve” dyne with DT injections later on? i think no matter what my g.aster would dislike dyne for her boisterous nature and the fact that she is closer to pap and possibly s.ans than he has ever been (that’s wat u get when ur at work and can’t bond with ur own family). how it develops from there is - to me - downhill as g.aster gets further and further into development of the CORE, straining his relationship with just about everyone. maybe dyne finds out how g.aster was neglecting pap all along and why s.ans develops a lazy tendency towards everything or why a.sgore is so desperate to have the CORE built in the first place or why a.lphys is pushed to work v hard or JUST       there is a lot of hurt. sky i am so sorry

[ghostspoke]

{ mark lee / bigender / he/she } – ❖ where y'at? isn’t that ( JUN-SEO “CLAY” PARK ) o'va there ? i think they’ve been in town for ( 3 MONTHS ) and come from ( MIAMI BEACH FLORIDA), but who knows. i reckon they’re about ( TWENTY-ONE ) year old. did'ya here, i think they work as a/an ( YOUTUBER ) and live in ( HOTEL VILLA CONVENTO ). according to the talk of the town, they’re described as being ( + EASY-GOING ) but also ( - DUMBASS ). either way, tell'em there’s a party down on bourbon and they’re invited.

u all know the drill    :    its ur local cryptid eli at it with my literal dumbass. under the cut is gonna be a bulletpoint bio cause idk what the fuck a full sentence is <2   ,    personality   ,   &.    wcs. 

trigger warning for     drug abuse    ,    parental abuse   ,   possession    ,    internalized homophobia    ,    overdose   ,   &.   mentions of needles   &.   vomit

bio.

MARCH 18TH   ,    1999    :    jun   -    seo    “    clay   “   park was born to min-ji   &.    u-jin park in their high rise penthouse apartment at 3:28am. for mintues   ,    the newborn child was wide eyed   &.   quiet          staring at things that did not appear to be real. the midwife was ushered out of the room as the babies cries fill the room. his birth is publicized   &.   photos of his newborn form are splattered across gossip magazines. 

AGE 3     :      whispers in the night fill the baby moniter   ,    cooing from a child to the corners in the room. stacking blocks with friends that friends   ,   staff   ,   nor his family see. there are stares    &.    points from guests at events. 

AGE 5     :       when kids are getting ready for school or to go play soccer in the afternoon     ,    jun    -   seo is in front of the camera. headlining in any psychic show that will take him. the whispers are louder. he doesnt know how to keep them out. he forgets most of the year   ,   only to be awoken by burning water on his skin. 

AGE 13   :      there is a pretty boy in his class. dennis. his so smart   &.    helps clay with his homework. the excitement to see dennis is disgusting. it makes his stomach turn  &.   he falls back to the friends in the corners        talking to ghosts instead of people. these feelings will fade. 

AGE 15   :     he goes by a new name now    ,    clay seems to fit him more. fame has its perks    ,    drowning in followers because of who his parents are. hes barely passing school    ,    C’s gonna get those degrees. June 9th, 2014 is when clay has his first heroin needle.  in the tucked corner of a LA house party with a girl he cannot remember    ,    but they are best friends on instagram. for once   ,   the world is silent 

AGE 16   :    1,750 a week on needles    ,    he barely shows up to class anymore. hes sure the only reason why he is passing is cause his parents are doing something. they dont care as long as his face is on the morning copy of a gossip magazine   &.    he smiles for the cameras. he looks hollow in the mirror   ,    but the ghosts dont talk anymore. he has a girlfriend. he loves her. he thinks. he tells himself that in the mirror before going out to see her.  in November he will drunkenly try on her skirt    ,    something feels right. 

AGE 20    :    his brother comes home   &.   things get hard. his brother worries when he doesn’t go to school. clay knows that he’s fine. mom    &.    dad will make sure that everything goes fine.  on the cold tile with the rubber around his arm   ,   it goes wrong. he goes too deep into the silent   &.   is thrown against heavens door with vomit on his lips   &.   it hurts. he is cold   &.   it hurts. the voices are loud. they are so loud.

AGE 21    :    thrown against heaven’s door with the force of the overdose   ,   clay is ushered out of the public light. he drops out of uni   &.   all shows are canceled. the youtube channel he had started to explore the voices in the corners of the room  &.  vlogging his experiences trying to go to a grocery store for the first time is the only connection to his fame that is left untouched. he’s supposed to be healing    ,    going away from all ties to find herself   &.   get a better grip on the world. its all for PR   ,    knowing that her parents are waiting for the next issue of the gossip mag catching him buying on the street corner. the warm air that flutters through the open hotel window is ripe with choice   :   can he finally get clean ? 

personality. 

 might actually be stupid, there isnt anything going on in her head 

impulse control who ? he does shit and then goes :o when things go wrong 

petty ? really petty honestly 

she's,,,, rlly angry at the world bc of u know no drugs on top of being an angry young adult so like ,,,, she's  so moody it’s gross 

very excitable ! honestly just a walking exclamation point  

slow to pick up on things, like you have to explain shit 5 times to him 

once they put her mind to something, its getting done but its getting done her way

wcs. 

a mom/dad friend who’s always checking up on them & making sure they’re doing okay

exes that ended on bad terms

ride or die - they’re always raising hell with

his dealer

someone who pls for the love of god teach her “healthy coping skillz “

frenemies

best friend(s)

fake dating

someone who knows her from her past

he doesnt know how to take care of himself like he pours the whole thing of detergent into the washer help him 

someone who sees thru their shit

someone who believes in ghosts &. listens to their shit

ghosts arent real ur lying for the clout 

someone to feature on his youtube channel / someone for him to collab with 

a bad influence

someone who’s rlly protective over him or someone he’s Super protective over

unrequited crush/love interest

mutual crushes

sworn enemies

fuck it some hcs. 

hes allergic to penicillin

had a very bad attempt at a music career at age of 13

even though he cannot drive he has 3 cars 

cooks frozen chicken in the microwave cause thats how he cooks chicken nuggets 

hes conversationally fluent in cubañol , other forms of Spanish confuse him 

attempted to cheat on history tests by talking to ghosts   ,   ended up getting possed   &.   failed 

thought the earth was flat for 6 months before realizing that the rest of his friends were joking 

wasnt vaccinated till 18

 panic bought mango juul pods when juul stopped selling them

actually has a punch card for exrocisms    ,    &.   is extremely familiar with the priest who does them on him 

uses holy water as a base for his blackout juice   ,    vodka   ,    holy water   ,    &.   water flavoring mixed in an empty milk jug. 

is specializing in sexual ethics   ,   focusing on the treatment of woman within pornography 

was a former contestent on the bachorlette   ,   only to be kicked off for hooking up with another contestant on the show

will buy jewelry off people at parties 

eats ramen raw, doesnt know how to cook it

[prorevenge]

B!7ch of a friend insults me over dead uncle, gets exposed for all the shit she did

So, long-ish one here, and it’s been some time so I don’t exactly remember the dialogue.

So, as a backstory this happened when I was in the equivalent of Junior year of high school. I became friends with a girl one year older than me and soon we grew to be like sisters, doing shit together all the time and being generally like sisters. Might I also mention that at that time both of us were into shit like Reiki and weird sorts of spirituality and the occult and shit like that, and me being the edgy teen I was at that point was incredibly happy to have someone share my interests.

When my junior year started she was a senior and met a guy at college admissions prep who she apparently immediately fell for. Of course she introduced him to me and him and I took to each other almost too well.

Bf is the boyfriend, D is my friend.

Bf and I started to get along marvelously and being the stupid kid I was of course I fall for him hard, but I hid it and decided that I would be the better person and eat my feelings since he was her boyfriend. So I kept it friendly and basically developed an iron control on my emotions (which to this day is both a good and a bad thing for my mental health).

Over the next 6 months D had become obsessed with him, increasingly jealous and manipulative with both of us and was basically making both our lives hell. She was calling me for hours sometimes just complaining about how Bf has the emotional range of a teaspoon, other times raging and crying, and at that point I was stuck mediating between D and Bf on a daily basis, almost to the exclusion of everything else. I recognize now, years later, that she was incredibly emotionally abusive to both of us. While being a generally abusive twat and psycho bitch she was also very very horny and flirty and about a couple of days before shit hit the fan she made out with a classmate of mine in front of me while asking me not to tell her boyfriend.

One day soon after BF calls me pissed off beyond belief because he and D got into one of their arguments which after half a year of relationship became explosive in nature. He wanted to leave her since he was tired of her bullshit and she threatened to kill herself. I don’t remember exactly what had triggered the argument but what I do remember was that I was feeling so damn guilty about not telling Bf what I had seen. He was one of my best friends after all, and I was put in the situation of either covering up her cheating or risking a big meltdown. I chose to tell Bf that I think she’s just crying for attention since she made out with So-and-So the other week and he went mad. Like seeing red kind of mad. He thanked me for telling him what happened and said he’d go to her house and break up with her and that he’ll keep me posted.

An hour later I get a string of angry texts from her that I betrayed her and that I should stay away from them and all sorts of belittling things. Bf also blocked me on her request and told me to stay away and so I ended up the “villain” and feeling like I wanted the earth to swallow me whole.

After a few days of being miserably depressed, a few girls from my class approached me at a party I couldn’t dodge out of and asked me what’s wrong. After telling them what D had done they were the ones who convinced me I did the right thing and that I wasn’t the villainous bitch she made me look like. You can imagine how fucking pissed I was after giving my all to her and getting jack shit in return so I started plotting revenge. The first step was contacting her ex who I knew she hated, going out with him but bailing like a chicken because I was still feeling guilty. That didn’t work, I was a weakling and made up with her and suffered a few more months until summer came and the three of us went on a seaside vacation where shit REALLY hit the fan. I booked a couple days extra after they were supposed to leave and on their last evening, while at a restaurant, I got a call from my parents telling me to not come home early because my favorite uncle had died and they were going to his funeral. I was distraught and went to my hotel room while D said they’ll just drop by their room and come stay with me since I wasn’t feeling like being alone. Guess what: she got horny and had sex for 2 hours while I sat alone crying my eyes out. When they came D wanted to do some drugs, got incredibly high and started arguing with me and Bf about some stupid spiritual shit she saw while on her trip. Bf was already pissed with her since on our second night she got shitfaced drunk and flirted with everyone in the club, so him and I decided we wanted to go to the beach and see the sunrise. She came too, arguing with Bf and me the whole time until these stupid ass words left her mouth:

D:”Bf, I cannot believe you are arguing with me and you(me) - stop whining, it’s just some dead guy, get over it already!”

What. The. FUCK. Did. You. SAY?!

I stormed off in a rage, with Bf running after me afraid I’d do something stupid in my altered mental state and she kept sneering and complaining. I can honestly say I blacked out out of rage at some point because I can’t remember what she said that made me punch her square in the damn face.

I got home the next week and started looking for a way out of this sham of a friendship. D didn’t even apologize for the shit she said and I had had enough, so when a mutual friend reported that she was making out with some guy at a party I immediately reported it to Bf and the same thing as before happened with both of them blocking me.

Fuck you and good riddance, I thought, but boy oh boy karma served me a true opportunity to wreak havoc not long after.

Fast forward 6 months I was in my senior year, kept my side of mine and D’s mutual friends and was dealing with what I know now is my still severe depression when guess who calls? You guessed it, Miss D sobbing on the phone because Bf “wrongly” accused her of cheating with a friend of his. Oh but of course I’ll help, I say, not mentioning that I’ll help get her exposed if anything.

I wheeled and dealt, called favors, pretended to be friends to people and generally was a manipulative ass bitch until I got the information of what exactly she did and wasn’t telling me: that she actually cheated with SEVEN fucking blokes. Seven. Not one, not two, seven. I was flabbergasted to say the least.

Through a bit of clever usage of computers I even got convo transcripts and made sure Bf found out everything - ie I told him every single dirty thing she did with a grin of satisfaction on my face and then as the “nice” girl I was held him back so he wouldn’t kill her. I do believe my thoughts were on the line of “nobody kills her before I can make her suffer.” Just peachy, I know. I somehow convinced him not to kick her ass into kingdom come and instead arranged a meeting in the KFC next to our school where Bf wanted to “make up with her”. I told D that I had convinced him of her innocence and he agreed to get back together and she was “soo relieved I worked my magic again”. Little did she know I didn’t have to drop by the post office when I told her I’ll go ahead, run an errand, and meet her there, but that I went ahead, got all of our friends there to witness and plastered a whole section of KFC with screenshots of her lewd conversations with various blokes. Bf was also there, almost murderous, waiting for her to arrive.

After a bit of a wait I had the honor of witnessing the most glorious sight ever: D walked in, all happy and hopeful in her tiny cheater soul, and her face instantly dropped when she saw me, her now ex boyfriend and everyone in her group of friends from high school waiting for her surrounded by proof of her shenanigans. That was not the only thing that dropped though, since as I was reveling in the look of utter betrayal on her face she proceeded to pass the fuck out.

I didn’t even care what happened after; it was enough that she saw me there, looked at the predatory grin on my face and knew I was behind it all and had robbed her of the one thing she cherished most: her Bf. It was worth the almost full year of abuse and the couple of months of manipulation and lies to see her fall.

Years after she even apologized sincerely when she realized what drove me to this revenge plot and now we’re civil, but now she knows she should NEVER. Ever. Cross me.

(source) story by (/u/AliTheMadWarlock)

[prongsmydeer]

Ayesha Liveblogs One Tree Hill S1

No matter how many times I watch the pilot I consistently forget that Nathan and Peyton used to date

“Don’t bother showering tonight” is that really your come-on Peyton I will never understand sports

Lmao @ Nathan and Peyton “OTP: Distracted Driving”

“You’re despicable, you know that,” said Dan, a literal future murderer

I’m always so thrown when ppl in shows start drinking at their workplaces like what kind of bold behaviour Whitey you work at a high school

“What are you wasting your time at now?” Nathan ur a terrible boyfriend

“I say that the people who pray here are wasting their time. God doesn’t watch sports” I know Lucas is pretentious as all hell but this is my favourite line in any sports show ever

Karen is such a good mom ahhhhh like she just wants Lucas to be happy and she knows he’ll put other people’s happiness first 

Dan calling Lucas ‘this kid’ like he’s not his wholeass son what a dick

It’s not lost on me that Keith telling Lucas stories about his father means that it’s Lucas’s grandfather Keith Scott is truly the only dad in this show who matters

“So why’d you just tell me all that” because he loves to monologue

“If I could [change the fact that Lucas exists], I would” Dan answer your door I need to send you a very rude telegram

I am in love with Moira Kelly and also I want Karen to punch Dan

The music of this show is really.... transcendent 

Djhfkjhfkjh since Lucas is implied to have like, five friends.... is that crowd of supporters hugging him just a bunch of people who think Nathan is a dick

I admire Lucas for deciding he was gonna put up with all this bullshit to do something he loves

Omg I forgot that Brooke wasn’t in the pilot she’s such a major character

“Nice hands” “Nice legs” Emo flirting in a jock setting lmaooooo

My inner 2007 angst awakens every time I hear Gavin Degraw. He is THAT bitch

“You ever think I might want to talk” Peyton and Nathan’s relationship is truly nothing but blind horniness they have nothing in common at all in this juncture of their lives

“I didn’t invite you to come in, I just asked if you wanted to” Peyton is so weird but I kind of want to marry her. Is this what Lucas feels like

Lucas’s economic status is really part of Brooke’s romance criteria at the age of 17 they teach the bourgeois early huh

Oh my god I cannot BELIEVE Jake recommended Atlas Shrugged to Lucas jhjhgjhgjh the undertones of this basketball show really are about capitalism

HAHAHAH Nathan’s word being “revenge” calm down Sasuke Uchiha

I haven’t said so yet but Haley is so very endearing she’s great

God. Lucas turning around to reveal to Dan that he’s cast away his name. HE is that bitch

Ghjkghjkgh Keith hissing at the rude Boosters mum. Love of my life

“Maybe he’s gay” “No, I think he’s just nice” who writes this dumbass show

“Do you even care that it’s slipping away” maybe it’s because I went away for university but the idea that someone is this deeply invested in their kid’s high school basketball career is. A lot

Nathan simultaneously trying to bother Lucas and pass English while about to fall in love: I can multitask!!!

Update: He also managed to trash Lucas’s favourite basketball court somehow in all his business. He really can multitask!

“If it makes you feel any better I called some woman a bitch the other day” [giggle] I love Karen and Lucas’s relationship

Haley is such a good friend to Lucas and hoo boy Nathan when do you grow a conscience

“You’re both so broody. You could brood together” that’s it, that’s Peyton and Lucas

These emails and VCR references are really dating this show

Nathan is a straight up sociopath in these early eps my god he humiliates Lucas publicly twice at this party and just pops over to Haley like “Hey cutie :) Idk why Lucas is so mad :) I’m rlly nice :)”

Nathan really taking his girlfriend’s car to hit on another woman how much of a crapbag

As soon as I said this he (drunk?) drove her car into a streetlight my god 

Deb and Karen having a nice lesbian coffee shop AU would be a pleasant turn in this show instead of literally anything that happens in either of their narratives

“Why would you even go there” “Because I loved getting dumped on” That is... accurate

“I’ll call you when you’re not so PMS” said Nathan, when his (ex) girlfriend rightfully lambasted him for crashing her car

I take it back Peyton and Nathan do have one thing in common it’s their disregard for traffic laws

HELL YEAH Keith IS your dad Lucas <3 <3 <3 <3 

Whitey talks a lot of shit for someone who advised Dan to abandon Luke 

I had been wondering why Lucas had the Scott name when Dan is such an ephemeral piece of shit and I guess there’s my answer thanks Karen 

Does Haley ever find out about the shit Nathan pulled at the party I feel like these are relevant details in her budding affection

“Dad send you to spy on me? Poison my drink?” This is the second time in two episodes Deb has been accused of being Dan’s spy I wonder if she still considers that a red flag 17 years into marriage

“One of the boys doesn’t have a father” BUUUUURN Dan

Rhkgjhgjkh the last moment of this scene:

Keith: There is enough room in my heart for each of my brother’s mistreated sons even the rude ones Nathan

Nathan, experiencing a split second of paternal love: :O

Ghkjghkjgh the Scott bonding in hatred of Dan continues with Lucas asking Nathan if he too would like to spite Dan:

Lucas: You will be receiving your “I Hate Dan Scott” Club invitation in the mail shortly Nathan, mom, Uncle Keith and I hold meetings biweekly

Nathan: Biweekly as in every two weeks or twice a week 

Lucas: Both! See you on Tuesday

“Does this mean we’re dating” yes it does the mixed CD is emo code

“Good luck with your game” “yeah, you too, Ma” hehehehe

Someone revoke this college medic’s license hoo boy

Ghjghkgh Lucas keeping his money tucked into his boxers what a doofus

I can’t believe Nathan and Lucas’s second big bonding moment is threatening dudes while in their boxers after beating on each other what a brotherly bond lmao

Okay but highkey if ur a lady and ur friends are gonna leave you alone and vulnerable at night get new friends

“I can live without my shirt” Nathan is thirteen shades of petty lmaooo

Dan is such a bad (abusive) father that Nathan literally would prefer to have none at all my god 

“Can I tell you a secret? I pretended too” just get marrrried 

“Thanks for cutting Lucas some slack” talk about accepting the bare minimum Haley kjhgkjhgkj

Brooke is really unbearable in this episode is it any wonder her, Lucas and Peyton’s relationship is as dysfunctional as it will soon become 

Hoo boy the one (1) time Nathan doesn’t do something douchey and he gets blamed for it 

LMAO @ Lucas approaching the one girl at this school with commitment issues with a bold “I wanna be here [in your heart]” hahaha

“Yeah, they can have their world,” said Lucas to Haley, about the two people they would literally go on to marry

The fact that Peyton doesn’t turn off her webcam and just covers it also really speaks to the era

This Gabe dude is really ready to assault a minor like he’s not just a r*pist he’s also a predator double KO 

It is not lost upon me that it looks like one pill has been popped out before so he is also a serial r*pist big fucking yikes

“What, you got a cellphone too, dawg? Things sure have changed” also quite dated hahahaha

They really went out of the way to redeem Brooke not only did she give Nathan and Haley a very very cute date she also saved her friend from being assaulted

“So you don’t have any brothers, do you” jhgkhgkhg Brooke please 

“Why are you only nice to me when we’re alone” a very legitimate question Haley

Nathan’s dating methodology: There’s nothing in life that can’t be solved with make-outs

Deb is really so nice but every time I look at her I think of her drinking a lot and sleeping with Nathan’s friends lmao

Haha that North Carolina sign explains the mild Southern accents 

Aieeeeeeeeeee you kiss that man and follow your dreams Karen

Even if Nathan is still A Lot this season him and Haley are so cute:

Haley, smiling: We can’t do this here right now

Nathan, giggling: We just did

Lucas says more to Dan by constantly leaving with a look of disgust than any words ever could

“My heart’s racing too. That’s what happens when I’m around you. (And on drugs. I’m very unstable Haley.)”

Lucas and Nathan’s very intentional “pressure from your dad” and “you don’t know anything about my dad” bc Lucas will not acknowledge that Senor Crabag Sr. is anything resembling a father bless 

Drunk tattoos with crush’s bff Lucas has decided to make all mistakes at once and I respect it

Poor Keith he is trying his best but Lucas just chose this week to hit his rebellious phase

YESSSSSSSSSS DEB KICK THAT ASS OUT OF THIS HOUSE

“Do you really think that Nathan would choose you over me” uh???? Are you not aware you are... the worst father in town

Brooke you were fully aware of Peyton and Lucas’s vibing and actively pursued him/interfered so you have no moral high ground to be like “:) I’d never choose a boy over my friendship”

Skillz and Mouth accurate “hoo boy don’t look” when ur friends start PDA

“Mom doesn’t want things to get back to normal, she wants them to be better” hell yeah Nathan gaining emotional intelligence

Lucas quit projecting your childhood issues onto Jake he too is a child let him decide how he wants to live Jenny’s 6 months old not like she’s gonna remember lmao

Damn Nathan LET LOOSE on Dan fuck that dude

JGFHJGFJGFJH I forgot Gavin Degraw had a cameo hahahahah

Did Luke.......... break into Jake’s house. His parents work at night how was he able to get into Jake’s coffee table

“You do not have to feel like a third wheel” The pure dumbass energy.... Peyton is literally CRYING do u really think her issue is “third wheel” you KNOW she and Lucas had a thing Brooke???????

Me watching this team form a brotherly bond over their mutual love of basketball: Mayhaps sports are... good 

Hahahaha Lucas threatening Peyton’s dad with a rake is weirdly endearing

“Hey you.” “Hey you, and you,” is a good summary of this seasons Brooke/Lucas/Peyton dynamic lmao

Why is Dan’s head... shaped that away. It is like a bar of soap

“I don’t mind you playing ‘Daddy’ to one of my offspring, but leave the good one alone, will you?” Dan. Meet me in the Denny’s parking lot at midnight and we’ll have words

“The whole Nice Guy thing is wearing kind of thin” foreshadowing for all the dick moves Lucas is about to pull lmao

“He’s got you skipping school now?” “Lucas talk to me when you get your tattoo removed”

Lucas:

Lucas is such a meddler lmao how many family dynamics is he going to alter

I don’t trust Dan being nice for a minute all he wants is the upper hand with Deb in the inevitable custody battle over Nathan

Props to Nathan and Haley for somehow, some way, being the only normal couple on this show despite their incredibly dubious origins lmao

Scott family dinners are bananas I count four (4) major revelations and they haven’t even revealed that Deb and Dan are separated

Lucas and Peyton are really hitting every fictional couple trope in this ep - road trip, bed sharing, hurt/comfort, truly the YA bases 

“The truth? In this house?” Props to Deb for drama lmao 

Brooke saying ‘I love you’ you’ve been dating for like two episodes but okay kjhgkjhg

I can’t say I understand Nathan’s logic lmao but I guess they have to bring him back to basketball sometime

Wow Lucas zero hesitation on that second kiss lmao u r a mess

This scene is the definition of “that escalated quickly” they go straight to undressing 

HAHAHAH NATHAN BEING SHIRTLESS IN HALEY’S DREAM FOR NO REASON 10/10 TEENAGE ACCURACY

“How do you explain being with me and not her?” “Because with you, I saw a future” that’s Dan code for ‘I’m a gold digger’

You’re literally macking on Peyton in the middle of the hallway while you’re dating the other most popular girl in school Lucas how are you this ridiculous and bold BREAK UP WITH BROOKE U DUMBASS

“So what are we going to do” I’ll tell you what you should do BREAK UP WITH BROOKE

Keith it is still daylight out stop bringing alcohol into this high school you have a drinking problem

“Can’t control love, you know?” THAT’S NOT ADVICE LUCAS BREAK UP WITH BROOKE

I really can’t handle watching Keith and Lucas self-destruct this episode how is Nathan the only Scott in a happy, healthy relationship

“You know that this is... wrong, so that makes it feel... deeper?” Lucas asks, as if he were not entirely in the wrong by carrying on with Peyton (who is not in a relationship) while dating Brooke

“I don’t want to hurt Brooke,” he said, about to start his third secret cheating makeout session of the week

“But then again our spouses aren’t here are they” [Deb opens door] COMEDIC TIMING

Gjjhgkjhg Nathan revealing his messed up intentions with Haley entirely by accident Scotts have no self-control whatsoever it’s their kekkei genkai

Lucas evading responsibility for his romance crimes by literally dying

Hahahah Karen’s confused vibes at Brooke are kind of the highlight of this episode 

How funny would it be if Lucas woke up to Karen scolding him about his tattoo

Hahahaha for such dysfunctional partners Nathan and Peyton are excellent exes 

AHHHHHHHHH LUCAS WAKING UP TO HIS BROTHER... MY HEART

Keith rlly was gonna propose after zero (0) days of dating I’m telling you no self-control is truly the Scott clan kekkei genkai

Ahhhh bless Karen’s compassion 

Dan is literally blackmailing his son into staying in his custody he is in Deb’s words an “abusive son of a bitch”

Fucking finally Lucas ends this sham of a relationship with Brooke

It’s wild that Nathan is the only Scott with a happy and healthy romantic relationship 

Nathan divorcing his parents is a real power move 

I’m glad Haley announced Sheryl Crow’s name because let me tell you I would not have recognized her on sight

“How’s my daughter” Lucas really chooses exclusively to hook up with people who have devastating emotional consequences for his immediate friend group huh

“Funny I didn’t know you were forgiving at all” Lmao Peyton is that really the position you’re going to take after cheating with your best friend’s boyfriend 

All the deodorant product placement lmao ‘this ep sponsored by Secret’ 

All things considered I think Lucas is handling Haley’s constant ditching p well 

Bfhkghghjg Keith buying a new shirt just to go to dinner with Karen stop

OH MY GOD THE EP REALLY WAS SPONSORED BY SECRET IT’S GOT SECRET ON THE CHEER COMPETITION BANNERS AND A LITTLE GIFT BAG RANDOMLY IN ALL THE CHEERLEADER CONFRONTATIONS JKGHKJGH

The comedic timing of “hungover idiots” panning to Karen and Larry kills me

“She used to be this totally original.... Haley” what does this mean????

I don’t think Nathan and Haley are being entirely fair to Lucas bc he was only a dick once she ditched him twice (or thrice?) in one weekend 

This boy toy auction as a concept is so inappropriate on so many levels

“I get Nathan for free” Fhjkfhkfjh Haley pls

God I was so very concerned about whether or not Nathan and Peyton were gonna kiss 

“You’re not a mess, you’re just in love” [Ole Del Paso Girl voice] Why not both?

“She’s nine months old, just in case you forgot” to be fair I assume Nikki gave birth so she would remember that you can’t hold that one over her 

It must take Lucas some mental disconnect to assume Peyton and Nathan are cheating when he also kissed Haley

Fhjfhkjfhjfh Keith fulfilling my fave trope of ‘we are not even dating but how about we get married bc we’ve been repressed in love for years’

“You know I asked your mom to get an abortion,” said Dan, to his literal son

I really can’t figure where this pregnancy storyline is going bc I know Brooke doesn’t have a baby

Nathan and Haley really need to consider oral or smth there’s a middle ground between making out and having vaginal sex

“It all hurts just the same” Brooke really out here trying to say that cheating is in any way equivalent to faking a pregnancy (even if only for a week)

Peyton and Brooke are way more invested in each other than Lucas 

“I got you a high five” Hahahhaa I love Peyton 

Gary like: Wow Nathan it’s humanizing that your father is an abusive dick

“Maybe this is the one that changed him” Lucas joining Dan as the second and only non-Dan member of the Dan Scott Apologism Club

It’s wholly unreasonable that Haley expects her boyfriend not to look at p*rn lmao

I love all this Lucas and Nathan bonding but I hate that it comes at the cost of Dan being near them at all u stay away from those boys u manipulative fuck

Ah the foreshadowing about Peyton changing in front of her webcam finally pays off

I’m no legal expert but I don’t think that taking your daughter out of state will help you in the custody battle in the long term Jake - nor will dropping out of high school

“What do I get out of it” r u 4 real Keith u dont get payment for loving your family

“I’m leaving because I can’t look at you anymore without my heart breaking” I like you Keith but that sounds like a You Problem

This is a fun way to shoot this episode One Tree Hill has such good directing tbh

Nathan discarding the Scott name from his jersey just like Lucas did in ep 2: 

Haley: Having sex will solve all of my problems Nathan what are you talking about

I remembered that at some point Deb and Keith have sex and I’m glad they fuck things up early bc I could not deal if it was later on

“I’ll miss you too, little brother” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

KJKGHKJHGJHKJHGKJHKJ I CAN’T BELIEVE NATHAN AND HALEY GOT MARRIED JUST TO HAVE SEX THIS IS WHY THEY DON’T LET PEOPLE YOUNGER THAN 18 VOTE

[vaguely-concerned]

I’m back! Temeraire Let’s Read:Tongues of Serpents

- Tharkay literally shows up at the beginning of the second sentence; STRONG start, I highly approve, great improvement on every level

fsdafhsadkjlfh cooly tossing tables and throwing people’s drinks in their faces in the bar brawl fkjsdhfksdalfhasdj this ain’t his first rodeo huh

- these dumbasses having to clean up from the bar brawl before going home so their dragons don’t go out there and demand to have a word with the dudes who bullied their lil boys... oh my  g o d 

- “it was true, if one wished to be very particular about such things, that laurence was a convicted felon”  t e m e r a i r e... ~*technicality schmechnicality*~ it was barely treason at all really  

also temeraire being in super protective mother hen/older brother mode over the eggs is perfect  

- Jane Rolands bluff, jovial letter writing is Everything

- “Have Temeraire throw him overboard,” Tharkay had suggested laconically, when Laurence had escaped to his quarters for a little relief and some piquet . . . “He can fish him out again later,” he added, as an afterthought.

A VISIONARY. An unmitigated joy. “Have Temeraire throw him overboard”. He says what we’re all thinking. 

- AAAAAAAAH MUTUAL FIRST NAME BASIS!!!! THIS IS NOT A DRILL WTF HAVE THEY BEEN DOING ON THIS TRIP TELL ME IN DETAIL WHEN THE SWITCH HAPPENED PLEASE (also I really like that the first instance we see is “But Tenzing, I cannot trust myself” b/c that was literally the whole point of that scene in VoE. laurence... yes you can. tfw your crush is the goodiest of twoshoes and can barely move for it and doesn’t even knoooow)

- y’know if Laurence could get over this thought that asking a direct question to a friend is just ~*intolerably rude*~ he could get so much shit done 

(I guess tharkay, clearly a follower of the rosa diaz school of ‘no one is ever going to know shit about me’, is like fuck yeah I’ve struck gold with this one)

- “So spake the pot” oh I do love Actually Pretty Chill Dad William Laurence finally letting the snark out more frequently, it suits him very much (I guess his main claims to fame in a lot of circles is a) treason and b) spoiling his dragon rotten)

- rankin’s name is mentioned and everyone’s like HIIISSSSSSSS and RIGHTLY SO FUCK THAT GUY JUSTICE FOR LEVITAS

- temeraire is talking to the egg about consent and saying he’ll make sure it won’t have to do anything it doesn’t want to fjklsadhfkaslhfsd my heart

- lol lol lol weeeell in hindsight who could’ve guessed captain and second in command of the dragon pirates would have a materialistic superficial kid huh

- . . . Granby said, with a look half affection and half exasperation oh granby baby still carrying that torch huh

- lol lol lol just the implication of sara maden and laurence silently tops up his drink and he’s like ‘cheers’ and they’re both quiet for a moment flskdfs 

if you think about it that must’ve been such a wild day in his life tho -- like first  Laurence furiously fires him for being gone at a crucial moment and then immediately unfires him when it turns out he’s been chasing a lead and being the only goddamn person really working on solving all their problems (as is his wont), then he finds out his ex is getting married and steadfastly pretends it doesn’t even bother him, lol what are feelings I heard only losers have them (extremely relatable -- I guess he must have known it was in the cards though, because he specifically tells Laurence at the beginning he didn’t intend to go back to Istanbul, so it’s been over for a while?) then they go on a life and death chase through the sewers, and THEN, before he knows it, after half a book of being kind of a mistrustful dick to him, Laurence does a 180° and is there offering eternal friendship with big soulful eyes after seeing him get upset one time and y’know I guess I see why that got to him lol 

- aw man I know it’s never going to happen but I am getting sort of wistful and teary-eyed over this pirate (cough cough I mean legally sanctioned privateer of course) AU that’s going entirely to waste

here are some tags I left on this superb piece of fanart: #I just got to the part where tharkay makes the suggestion and like... I know it's not happening #but what a shimmering tender mother of pearl dream to carry in one's heart lol #just a lil pirate family out there wrecking shit #temeraire would get wind of what the east india company actually does and they'd inevitably turn against them and fuck 'em up... *sigh* #fix it fic: the boys kiss and the east india company is stopped from committing further atrocities! all is well

so that’s basically my position on that

- “I’m sure there’s nothing too dangerous out there, in the fucking untamed Australian wilderness,” Temeraire said, tempting fate to a frankly anxiety-inducing extent 

- hell yeah demane is the only one with presence of mind to actually find some food; you go buddy <3

- my boy tharkay slinking off in the middle of the night without telling anyone and solving everyone’s problems... *dabs at eyes* just like old times

- oh wow rankin really is just a piece of shit in every way huh

- fhasdklhfsadfsad temeraire being like ‘I know tharkay is a strong independent human who is perfectly capable of making his own decisions and don’t need no dragon... but also he’s clearly one of my humans tho why is he riding on another dragon :(’ THE CUTEST SHIT

- temeraire silently dissing his dad over refusing to believe in ghosts ~*except*~ for the holy spirit adslfhaskjdlhfs

- demane taking in the strange little hatchling... im crey... he truly hits me straight in the heart every time

also laurence steadfastly Doing The Right Thing and following his convictions is so deeply healing after all that bullshit he went through in the last book... makes me feel all safe and calm inside haha

- actually when you think about it it’s so fucked up that they apparently just straight up murder dragons with birth defects in england as a matter of course b/c like. dragons come out of the egg fully sentient and capable of understanding what’s being said around them. kulingile literally understood every word they were saying as they discussed whether or not they should be KILLING HIM.  j e s u s  thank god for demane and laurence’s stubborn insistence on being good

- temeraire going straight from mother hen to extremely impatient and jealous older brother the moment an egg hatches never gets old. all these dumb little babies just complaining and stealing his crew ugh (HOW FUCKING CUTE is him deciding kulingile could be a scholar or something tho #dragon rights)

- “I wish,” Temeraire said to Laurence, “I do wish that other dragons were not always thinking me peculiar . . . it makes one doubtful.” BABY BOY NOOOO he’s just so sweet and he’s so secretly scared that laurence might resent him a little after the whole treason business and OW right in the parental heart that fucks me up

- Temeraire’s indignant “Oh!”s always soothe my soul it’s so adorable

- little emily roland yelling “damn you all for cowards!” after a bunch of grown men fleeing while she reloads her gun and takes aim again is incredible poetic cinema (and also demane joining her... I love the bond they’ve got going on in the background here)

- aw poor sipho :( at least he still has temeraire to nerd out with and stuff but that’s some difficult shit to process for a kid

kulingile bobbing around tethered to temeraire like a small balloon at a fair is such an image, what a blessing, temeraire’s exasperated brand of babysitting is so funny

- laurence being a Dad to the kids in his crew... mana from heaven

- YESSS they crossed the endless miles of DEADLY AUSTRALIAN WILDERNESS so laurence could be MORTIFIED as the emperor’s adopted son at a party this is the content I am here for

- hell yeah let’s play a round of pimp my captain!!!!!!!!!!

“And,” Laurence said. “And you are certain that this should be appropriate for the occasion; not, perhaps, excessive?” I can’t  b r e a t h e  he can’t even say shit because his dragon boi is so happy fsaldfjsldhfasjlh and then granby making fond fun of him what a beautiful cherry on top of this sweet sweet laurence being embarrassed sundae 

- william ‘I’m here to kick ass and describe menswear in fastidious detail and I’ve already kicked my own ass twice today’ laurence strikes again

- this description of the dragons sitting around squabbling as they watch shiny sparkly things is the most endearing few pages in modern literature do not @ me

- it’s kind of fucked up that the emperor of china is giving laurence more of the sort of warmth and validation a father should than his actual dad ever did lol. u did good curing the dragon plague, weird european adopted son I am proud of you

- every time temeraire is really upset about something my soul suffers a small wound

thank god he doesn’t actually know what opium is really used for most of the time yet (also I am obligated to divulge that I am entirely charmed by tharkay’s sardonic yet clear eyed cynicism on the issue, I cannot be anything but what I am and he hasn’t had enough proper page time in this half of the book so I will take what I can get)  

- ...I kind of just realized that I imagine the sea serpents basically as long-ass gyaradoses... OH NO

I will say I respect the ‘give no fucks’ vibe they give off -- it’s a real ‘we’re here to eat fish & party and if you try to get in our way we’re gonna have you as a snack’ mood and I cannot fault them for it

- iskierka is such a fuckboi it’s glorious 

- nOOOOOO tharkay is leaving again fuck ;_______; is his life just an endless procession of semi-unwillingly having to go back to istanbul again these days 

Temeraire did not see why Tharkay should have to go so far, only to deliver news; and particularly when he did not seem as though he wished to go, very much. DDDDDDDD: THIS SUCKS you know that when a) he’s letting it show and b) temeraire notices it that he is dragging his heels big time over this lol

‘there can be very little to call you back to this part of the world any time soon’ LAURENCE YOU 24 KARAT IDIOT YOU ARE HERE HE CAME TO AUSTRALIA FOR YOU ALREADY WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS

all that said whenever I see a ‘Tenzing’ on the page my heart does a happy little dance. ah well now let’s settle in and wait for what horrible catastrophe will happen now that tharkay is gone... come back soon buddy

- ooooooooooooh that is so good, using the last chapter + epilogue to show how the... idk moral wound I guess laurence received victory of eagles has finally healed, that’s so reassuring. he just wants to do good things for good causes and can’t be badgered, cajoled, threatened or convinced to do anything less anymore and it’s all so sweet and well earned. that’s some good development through this book too, from ‘tenzing I cannot trust myself’ to this. excellent stuff

- while I did quite enjoy this book for the character moments it is incredibly weirdly structured? like the beginning drags a bit with the quite uninteresting colony politics and stuff but then they’re finally travelling and then... nothing really happens plot wise before the sea serpents freak the fuck out at the end there lol. I’m mostly a character-oriented reader tho so I’m pretty fine with it.

ETA: actually now that I think about it I’d say that my biggest gripe with this book is that it doesn’t engage at all with the perspective of the native australian people? even though one of the dragons settles down with one group? god knows it’s not like there was no time to dive into it, considering all that time spent in the fucking wilderness lol

we’re going to the inca empire next tho apparently fuck YEAH!!! that’s such an underexplored and extremely interesting part of history, my body is Ready