#if thought crimes exist so do thought good deeds

[spiritsblade]

"terrible person" culture is taking a bug outside instead of squashing it to prove haha noo i'm a good person look

[with-my-calamitous-love]

LOVE LEFT ME LIKE THIS AND I DONT WANT TO EXIST

katsuki bakugou x reader

katsuki, japan’s number 1 hero, discovers his fiancé’s dark past and questions everything.

themes of abuse and violence. please read with discretion 🤍

part 1/2

inspired by florida!!!

all you had to do was beat the charges.

first, the body. he’d laid there, mouth foaming and blood pouring from his neck. you had checked his pulse. the deed had been done. standing over him, your eyes wandered to any means of disposal. ultimately, you decided to let them discover it.

second, the evidence. you made sure to use gloves and specifically used his favourite rocks glass, the one he’d drink out of before heading to see you. you’d leave it on the coffee table next to the couch where he currently laid. maybe they’d believe this was his doing, if luck was on your side. you’d write a suicide note on his behalf- you hadn’t thrown our those gloves yet, anyway.

third, the getaway. because you weren’t going to let them drag you away with his body in a bag. the weight of what you had done would do nothing but shackle you down. yes, you’re haunted, but right now you had to act just fine. your heart was tied up with laces and crimes.

and your cheating, abusive, husband seemingly died out of nowhere, supposedly committing suicide on his own accord while his young marital partner disappeared? well, no one asks any questions where you’re headed now.

you did your best to lay it to rest. meanwhile, japan mourned the loss of a seemingly good and innocent pro hero, to whom you now widowed.

✧.* ⋆.˚ ☾ .⭒˚ ✧.* ✧.* ⋆.˚ ☾ .⭒˚ ✧.* ✧.* ⋆.˚ ☾ .⭒˚ ✧.* ✧.* ⋆.˚

3 years later.

most of your life had been running and hiding. the thought of settling down anywhere, in a city where you were nothing but a mere guest in. you didn’t trust trust, you didn’t trust happiness. all until meeting katsuki one day.

the thought of ever loving a despicable, power-hungry pro hero set off sirens in your head. but there was some allure about katsuki that made you forget the shadows of your past.

little do you know, he fell for you first and he fell harder. it was impossible not to be enamoured with him- a gorgeous, 6 foot tall blonde with a cocky attitude and fierce determination. who you, at first, wrote off to be a shallow douchebag, but who turned out to be the sweetest, most chivalrous gentleman you had ever gotten the pleasure of knowing.

perhaps your favourite thing about him were his dreams. the things that drove him to be better. his determination to be a good hero, to be the symbol of peace like the ones who came before him. theres a certain light in his crimson eyes that you can’t miss. he shines bright in this light, dazzling your heart and daring you to love him.

so, after just 2 years of dating, you and katsuki are now engaged and living together. the public knows of you, with both adoring and jealous fans by your side.

it gave you this rush. loving him was passionate as sin. every time you’re with him is one hell of a time, even if its something simple as watching a shitty movie together or folding laundry after work. only occasionally, you’d look over your shoulder, making sure no one was following you.

right now, he’s in the kitchen with you. you’re seated on the counter while he cooks, letting you taste-test everything. the glint of your engagement ring looks stunning in this light. katsuki’s happy to be the first person you’ve been married to. at least, he’s happy believing that.

though, somethings different about him this time. he’s quieter, his mind ruminating on something.

he looks at you, the love of his life, seated on the counter wearing his clothes, and wonders how you could be capable of lying to him.

he sighs, putting down whatever he’s doing. he wants to know the truth.

“babe.” he starts, not fully facing you. your ears perk up at the sound of his voice. “yeah?”

he walks over to you, looking you in the eye with his beautiful red eyes. you could sink in them.

“i’m the first man you’ve ever committed to.. right?”

he asks, though it’s something you’ve told him time and time again. previously, he’s wanted to know for some insecure reasons. you’re his one and only, and in the past, he’s just wanted to know you’re on the same page. it’s something you’ve told him everyday.

“yeah.” you smile, hiding behind that facade. “why do you ask?”

he takes a step closer, looking at you. his eyes are pleading, because he wants you to tell him otherwise. please, tell him that what he’s heard isn’t true.

“i wanted to see if you’d lie to me.”

your heart drops.

“what… what are you talking about?” you almost laugh, nervously. that anxiety creeps up your throat. its pathetic the way you thought you could even keep this up.

he sighs, running a hand through his ashy blonde hair in stress. it was wishful thinking, believing that he, a pro hero charged with investigating and bringing justice, would never find out about your crime. for a moment there, it felt good. like you were really gonna get away with it.

he walks past you, rummaging around in his bag before putting the files on the counter next to you. evidence. the man you had taken out, and links that suggested you had done it. your hands shake, seeing how its all stacked against you. looking him in the eye was out of the question.

truthfully, he isn’t sure who he’s looking at. he knows he loves you, but love has never before made him question everything like you’re doing to him. he sighs before continuing.

“kirishima showed me everything.” he says. “he and his team were investigating this case in a city nearby here. i didn’t think much of it until he told me you married the guy, and left right after he was pronounced dead.”

he looks at you, into the face of the person he loves more than anything. he’s begging you to say no. he’s begging you to be innocent.

“did you do it?”

you swallow hard, eyes darkening as you think of your options. was it worth it to lie anymore.

please say no. he thinks. please tell me it isn’t true.

“…i did what i had do.” you whisper, finally confessing.

and his worst fears are confirmed.

his heart sinks, furious as he looks at you. he’s trying to discern if this is the person he knows, if this is the person he loves. his voice is shaky, hands trembling with unbridled rage he tries to keep under control.

“why.” he says, not a question but a command, like venom. you almost flinch at his tone, though you can’t say you blame him. he person he’s set on marrying hid something so huge from him for years.

“its not what you think.” you insist, truthfully not knowing where to start. you cringe at the way your voice cracks when you speak.

his eyes narrow looking at you. “then what is it? you committed a heinous fucking crime and i’m suppose to think its for a good reason?”

god, if katsuki knew half of how hard you life had been. he had a hunch you were going to lie to him again, and it only made him angrier. “tell me the truth. i wanna know-“

“i had a husband before you.” you cut him off. he decidedly holds his tongue, surmising that he’s finally getting the truth from you. so, he waits. impatiently patient.

“i was young, and i had just run away from home.” you explain, the memories of your past crawling back up your throat. “my father was a creepy, rape-y bastard. couldn’t last another second in that house.” you say.

his heart aches at that. he had some idea that your childhood was less than ideal, but the thought your own father did that to you was more than he could bare. though he’s angry, he knows you didn’t deserve it. “i’m so sorry.”

you simply nod, praying for mercy as you continue. “so… i ran away. there weren’t a lot of people who could help me, or who could bring me in. i stayed on the streets most nights.” you sigh, wishing you could run into katsuki’s embrace. on other day, he’d gladly shield you away from all this hurt.

“and then… i met this guy. a hero, believe it or not.” you chuckle bitterly, much to your fiance’s chagrin. the thought that the bastard who did this to being someone like him made him sick.

“he got me a job, and helped me get back on my feet. i fell in love, as stupid and naive as that sounds.” you say. “…and when he asked to marry me, he said it’d only be on paper. that it’d just be so i could have shelter, food and water. i felt like he saved me.”

katsuki nods, still trying to process all of this. “but he didn’t save you… did he?”

you shake your head.

“turns out i married my father.” you say, darkly. he bites his lip, suspicious confirmed. those abused as children are more likely to move on with someone else abusive, after all. its sad cycle that he wishes he could remove you from. though it seems you had your own way of doing that.

“i was gonna die in that house.” you whisper, voice cracking at the seems. “so…”

you can’t even finish your sentence.

he isn’t an idiot. he can connect the dots. but even though the climactic end of your sentence is obvious, he still can’t quite wrap his head around it. he still loves you, though he’s mad as hell you kept this from him.

“i laced his whiskey and watched as it killed him. after, i… i packed my things and left town. took his money, too.”

his silence is killing you. you wish he’d say something, that its okay- though its not. that he still loves you- though he shouldn’t.

you speak again, maybe trying to fix this mess. “i know its wrong. i know its fucked up. i shouldn’t have.”

he lets out another breath, eyes noticing the way your hands shake. those hands, the ones he’d hold in his own, had blood on them.

“and why didn’t you think to tell anyone? no heroes, no police?” he has the nerve to ask, though its a valid question.

you snap, tension breaking as you push yourself ofd the counter and away to face him. “because i don’t TRUST you fuckers!” you cry, yelling while tears spill from your eyes.

silence.

bakugou stared right back into your eyes as you said that, and his expression immediately hardened again. he was angry all over again. for one, he already knew you didn't exactly trust heroes, albeit except for him. but this just hurt him. he knew that he himself was a hero and would protect you with his life.

so why couldn't you see that?

“i’m going to give you one more chance to re-think what you just said.”

but you stand your ground. “no.” you say, shaking your head. “i was abused for years and no one heard my case. i was dismissed and shunned for years until finally, i ran away. and when i did, i was stupid enough to trust again. to trust one of you power-hungry assholes! and how did that end!? with me being scared to come home everyday! with my husband using me like a god damn punching bag!”

his expression immediately drops at your words. hearing what you went through as a kid hit him like a truck. but, on the other hand, he was still so angry. he wanted to tell you that not all heroes are like that, that he wasn't like that.. but the anger was overpowering both his thoughts and his feelings as he listened. he wants to tell you that it’ll never happen again, but his emotions slip it before he can say that.

“and because of what happened with him, you think we're all like that?!” he roars back.

“its different for you and me.” you say, tears refusing to subside. “every-time i’ve let my guard down i’ve been beaten. nothing good comes from trusting.”

so, he wonders if you ever really trusted him. why agree to marry him if you supposedly didn’t believe in trust, or in love? he feels his whole world begin to crumble around him.

he can see now, putting those signs together. your hesitancy when you first met. your trust issues, your reluctance to speak on your past. it all made sense now, and he hated it.

“thats why you were so hesitant to let me in, huh?” he asks, looking at the ground. he’s struggling to keep calm, between his anger towards the monsters of your past and a little towards you.

“you thought i’d be like him?” he asks, and that question physically hurts your heart.

“no! i love you!” your voice cracks like its a lie. both of you notice that.

suddenly, i love you was like the worst thing he’s ever heard.

“and its worse because i’m a hero too, huh?” he asks. but you can’t answer that. instead, you opt to look down, letting your tears soak into your clothes.

“thats not what i thought.” you say, though you aren’t exactly sure who you’re convincing. “i promise, i know you’re different.”

and he is different. katsuki bakugou was nothing like the demons you had fought in your past. he was bright, and warm, and his love felt like home. more specifically, a home that was about to be torn down.

“then why didn’t you tell me, huh? why keep this from me for years?” he asks, still wanting answers.

to this, you almost scoff. it should be obvious. “how do i tell my boyfriend, who is the #1 hero in the country, the pillar of justice and peace, that i murdered someone? that my own hands took someone else life!?”

god, he’s livid. he can’t even look at you, though he admits he kind of understands why you hid it. he believed you were an angel.

“..and you have the nerve to think i’d stop loving you over it!?”

“YES!”

that answer made his anger hit a new record. He grabbed your arms, pushing you against the wall. he held you against it, his grip firm on your wrists, his eyes filled with anger as he looked over your face.

“do you really think I'm like that? do you really think after everything we've been through I'd just stop loving you that easily?”

he was yelling at this point, but he could also hear his voice break slightly as he spoke. he’s crying too.

“you’re hurting me.” you firmly speak.

the fear on your face makes him realize what he’s just done.

exactly 2 seconds after his question, he lets go, backing away. he stutters to himself for a question, seeing what he’s done like a knife through his chest. maybe he wasn’t any better. maybe you had a right to not trust him.

“i’m… fuck, i’m sorry. i’m so sorry.” he says, trying to wipe away your tears. he stops as you flinch away from his touch, only making him hate himself even more.

he loves you, and all he’s wanted to do was protect you. he’s angry, yes, but the last thing he’s ever wanted to do was hurt you. he’ll never forgive himself for that.

silently, you grab your jacket and keys and leave the apartment.

part 2 soon! 🫧

[autolenaphilia]

Some thoughts on The Coffin of Andy and Leyley

I found out about The Coffin of Andy and Leyley from an ”antiship” blog that I was on solely to block, because these people are always violent callout culture transmisogynists. Them getting very upset about this game having incest in it piqued my interest. The art looked interesting, and if these people hate it, it can’t be all bad.

(Case in point about the transmisogyny, from my understanding some people tried to dox the pseudonymous and secretive developer of this game, Nemlei. And the motivation was to prove the doxxer’s suspicion that Nemlei is a trans woman, because “only a trans woman could create such degeneracy.”)

Sure enough, TCOAAL is actually a nuanced and well-written psychological dark comedy /horror game. This is going to be more of a preliminary analysis than a review so full spoilers beyond this point. It’s by necessity preliminary since the game isn’t finished yet. My review is: go buy it if you are a fellow sicko who enjoys interesting stories about cannibalism and incest and like visual novels.

TCOAAL uses a trick from more transgressive forms of horror fiction, where the protagonists are not the heroes, but the villains, and the story is from their perspective. Andrew and Ashley Graves are murderers who kill people, sacrifice their souls to demons and cannibalize their bodies. They would be the villains of a more conventional horror story, their crimes investigated and thwarted by some heroic detective perhaps. But in this type of story, you are denied the comfort of heroes, or even innocent victims as you watch the protagonists twisted psychology lead them to commit terrible deeds.

The tone of the story mostly isn’t really horror, but very dark comedy, kinda Jhonen Vasquez-ish. The horrors are portrayed with a gleeful flippant tone, and cute appealing art. The tone mirrors how especially Ashley feels about her crimes. The game’s tone gets serious sometimes, going for straight horror occasionally, acknowledging how heartbreaking yet insane the Graves situation is, but there is a deep vein of the blackest humor.

Andrew and Ashley

Andy and Leyley themselves have this co-dependent toxic abusive sibling dynamic. Ashley is emotionally abusive, extremely possessive and manipulative towards Andrew. But her beloved Andy is the only person she actually cares about, and the rest she is able to kill with gleeful abandon in her heart.

Yet Andrew is not purely a victim. I’m going to talk at length about him, because the gap between how he describes himself and what the game shows is fascinating. I’m not the first to point this out. And it even extends to the game’s promotional material, like this official art on the game’s steam page is actually subverted by the game itself.

His character is not "doormat extraordinaire" who just "exists", the words "very not good, in fact very bad" apply to him too.

He is a victim, and loves to point at times how exploited, manipulated and abused he is by Ashley and he’s of course right. But he also uses that as an excuse for the horrific violence he commits, that he is just a doormat has been manipulated and corrupted by Ashley. “I was just being manipulated by Ashley to do it” is his variation on the old Nuremberg defense for his crimes. He has no sense of personal responsibility, no understanding that even if someone else tells you to do it, you are still responsible for your actions.

And the game itself proves that “it’s all Ashley” is not really true. A lot of the violence and murder are definitely on Andrew’s own initiative. He is violent towards Ashley too, the abuse is reciprocal. And he like Ashley doesn’t care much about other people. He gets distraught about killing people, but if you follow his dialogue, he is mostly freaked out about the consequences for himself. He is dependent on Ashley as someone who he can lay all the responsibility and blame for his own actions for. And of course, there is genuine affection there, because things are complex. He was parentified to take care of Ashley as a child and still has the drive to be her caretaker and protector.

It’s a fascinating pair of characters, and an interesting dynamic to observe.

“Der Mensch lebt nur von Missetat allein”

And the game’s writing is smart enough to have them not be an individualized evil, that came out of nowhere. Andrew and Ashley are the products of a neglectful and cold parents. Their mother made Andrew the favorite, but basically in order to parentize him to take care of his younger sister. And their dad can’t even remember the names of his kids. Not that the cycle of abuse starts with the parents, the mother had Andrew and Ashley when she was 15 and 17 respectively. But that doesn’t excuse how they ultimately, sell their kids’s lives for money to an organ harvesting scheme. This scheme is strongly implied to be part of an hilariously over-the-top soda company, toxisoda (it’s implied their soda is literally made from humans, so the company is doing the same thing that Ashley and Andy does, but on an industrial scale).

This is the situation that pushes Andy and Ashley to become evil murder-cannibals horror movie villains they become. They are deliberately being starved to death, and decide human meat is preferable to that. And the point here is obvious. To quote Brecht, “Erst kommt das Fressen, dann kommt die Moral” or in english translation “Food is the first thing. Morals follow on.” Andy and Ashley are bad people who kill and eat other people, but they are the product of an evil society. A family system where children are property of their parents to be abused and sold. And ultimately a capitalist system which kills people to feed others, a societal and systematic version of what Andew’s and Ashley does. They literally become cannibals to escape becoming literally or essentially cannibalized themselves by the capitalist system. Capitalism is a system which works on prey and predator dynamics, and they just fought to became predator instead of prey. To further quote the same song by Brecht, in capitalism, “Der Mensch lebt nur von Missetat allein” or in english “mankind is kept alive by bestial acts.” And in that broader view, Andrew and Ashley’s small-scale evil is dwarfed by the system they are born into.

Incest

It’s with all this context the game’s treatment of incest must be understood. It’s a horror game, about two siblings with a fucked-up abusive relationship. Of course there is incest, it’s far from being the worst thing these two do. The game only gets more explicit about incest in one optional ending, but it’s there explicitly and subtextually from the very start. Ashley jokes about it repeatedly, it’s there in the possessive jealousy Ashley feels for any of Andrew’s girlfriends, it’s implied in the casual physical intimacy of the siblings. Like it’s very obvious that their fucked-up but close relationship can lead there right from the beginning of episode 1. It’s a very natural conclusion to their dynamic. And the characters know it, Ashley definitely knows it, and their own mother accuses them of it. Andrew denies his mother’s accusation of fucking Ashley, and he’s probably not lying at that moment, but his relationship with Ashley leading there make perfect sense and he is not just capable of admitting that. Anyone who claims to have played this game and then claims be shocked that there is an optional incestous ending can’t have been paying much attention. This is the incest cannibalism game.

The Graves siblings are heading towards committing more murder as long as they stay alive, and incest is a minor sin for them. And probably not even the unhealthiest way for their relationship to develop. It definitely won’t fix them, but I doubt it will make things much worse.

And condemning the game morally is just absurd. This is a horror game, and you are outraged about the incest and not the murder-cannibalism? The Graves siblings relationship is not portrayed as healthy and the incest is part of that.

In fact the game portrays this double-standard in the actual story. It’s the possibility of her kids committing incest that finally makes Mamma Graves admit she is “the worst mother ever”, and not the whole selling the lives of her kids for money thing.

Sure, there is a fair argument to make that the incest is romanticized and fetishized. Ashley and Andrew are certainly drawn as attractive, and even the abusive elements can be part of the fetish. But the thing is, Ashley and Andrew are not real people, it’s fiction, it’s not real incest, so if people get off to it, I have no reason to see it as a problem.

The antiship blogger was actually especially angery about this official art from a devlog and honestly after playing the game, it kinda sums up my feelings about the incest controversy:

[oneslimybastard]

mouthwashing spoilers ig bewaaare it's so fascinating just How Much people hate Jimmy Mouthwashing, despite that when it comes to Evil Deeds he actually lags behind a lot of other horror characters.

He's not a serial killer. He's not even really a killer (the only person he hands-on murders is Swansea in implied self defense). He's bitter, entitled, emotionally immature, impulsive, misogynistic, a rapist and enabled by Terminal Nice Guy Curly. Aka, a guy you've worked with, or a pissy uncle that keeps getting invited to christmas out of enforced politeness, your boyfriend's friend who keeps making you uncomfortable and you keep being told that he's a "good guy" deep down. A scumbag of which there are a dime a dozen of.

Any readings that he was a machivallian evil mastermind to me feels like huffing cope. Because the entire game is just Jimmy fuckign, floudering, as his actions suddenly have a lot of consequences that he wasn't emotionally equipped for. He thinks he can fix things, and that it's not really his fault, sure he assaulted Anya but she wasn't supposed to get pregnant from it, sure he crashed the ship in a temper tantrum but he didn't think Curly would get meatified from it. He sends Daisuke into the hutch because he's too much of a coward to do it himself, but he wasn't supposed to get injured from it. Yeah he's treated Anya like shit but she wasn't supposed to kill herself. Swansea comes after him with an axe — that wasn't supposed to happen either. And at the very end, Jimmy martyrs himself to "save" Curly (how saved he gets from being turned into a cryofrozen treat is debatable but I like to think it does ensure his survival, for the themes), so he can have some fucking solace that he managed to set things right before he kills himself — when in actuality all he did was ensure that he will run from taking responsibility for the rest of time.

After all, no one can hold you accountable if you're dead.

Jimmy isn't evil, you the player would be much more comfortable with his character if he WAS evil. He's just pathetic, making excuses, and emotionally lashing out, lashing out over the trauma he inflicted on someone else having consequences for him he sees no obvious escape from for once. Curly can't nepo him outa this one, lads. And all it takes is a few button presses to doom the entire ship.

Then he doesn't even have the guts to own it. He doesn't have the guts to own what a shitty person he is, called out directly in-text by Swansea who like we stan Swansea but I would not be surprised if his list of crimes (minus ship-crashing) looked exactly like Jimmy's, sexual assault included.

And that's the whole point of Mouthwashing innit. The worst guys you know will be some dick who refuses to own up to his own scumbaggery because he can't stand to look himself in the mirror if he does, and the people who cover for him. Evil doesn't exist (the contexts for where I think it does is a different and politically loaded conversation), usually it's just Some Fucking Guy who thought he was too good for therapy and magikarp splashed his path of carnage through other people's lives because of it.

Jimmy could have set things right, but that meant grappling with what a shitbag he is and the damage he caused Anya, and for certain people embittered by their own mediocrity, Armageddon is just the much more glamorous option.

And when he's forced to pick up the pieces and take responsibility, he breaks. Despite how much we hate it, it's very easy in this world to become a Jimmy, to fuck up and hurt people and then just go nuh-uh-nuh-uh until we've convinced ourselves we really did nothing wrong; to brainwash ourselves into thinking running away from accountability is the noble action. Even easier to become a Curly, with a pet Jimmy scrambling around that you can't be fucked to hold accountable because that's like, so messy, and a bother, it's fine, he's just a little grouchy you guys. Yes yes Anya I hear your concerns but like... I dunno, this puts me in a really complicated situation, you understand?

People know this instinctively, and that's why they feel like they have to parade Jimmy around like the Worst Guy Ever, to wash their hands of him, since that's more soothing than thinking about how much of a Boring Regular Guy he actually is. A Boring Regular Guy you've got in your life right now who kind of puts you off but nobody is actively dealing with. You included.

That's probably a large part of why this game haunts people, and why Jimmy just gets under their skin so bad to call him like the most irredeemable guy ever. In a genre he shares with like the Mad Father himself and Sachiko the torture ghost from Corpse Party, or the lady from the Amnesia DLC, etc. etc. (Astarion BG3 is also Objectively a shittier guy than Jimmy Mouthwashing, which isn't a fair comparison because different genres with different stakes, but it is a funny one.)

also he's in yaoi with curly soooooorry it's in the text as he cradles that meated up bod and stares straight into curly's bulging eyeball and forcefeeds him pills. and then his own leg. his love language is just complicated ok dont judge.

[library-of-cronos]

Take a break, it won’t kill you (all the way)

A DCxDP crossover that’s been on the back burner for a while now.

Ft. Tired Bruce, Liminal Jason, and Batfam shenanigans (eventually)

Bruce was stressed. It had been a long week. A long, stressful week that left him pulling at his hair in the Batcave while going over the footage of the source of his stress for the nth time. There was a rumor of a meta in Gotham. Bruce could put up with a meta in his city if only for a few days, but this one was sticking around for too long to just be passing through.

People could watch the monochrome, white-haired meta catch a criminal, but he was slippery around strangers who got too close too quickly, barely letting them get a word in before he would vanish.

Quite literally vanish. Invisibility was one of his many powers, and he was not shy about his disappearing act. People had seen him phase through solid objects and walls when he was stuck in a building or even, to many people’s disgust (and amusement), phase his hand into his body and pull things out (and sometimes eat the food he stored in there).

Or shoot a (sickeningly familiar green) ray from his hands or eyes, then fly off into the sky only to be seen across town mere seconds later.

That’s invisibility, phase shifting (though it could also be considered intangibility, given that he hasn't gotten enough footage to tell if he was shifting density or going completely intangible), energy beams, flight, and speed enhancement. Five powers. And he no doubt was hiding more, given Bruce’s luck.

Bruce had seen how dangerous meta’s with only one or two powers were with his own eyes. The footage of the unknown meta who distorted cameras just by appearing in view showed him using five different superpowers.

And no one could even get his name.

Yet no one but Bruce seemed to be worried about him. Nearly all of the reports were talking about this helpful new hero who does good deeds in the daytime while Batman hides inside. (Bruce was not angry about that comment, not at all).

It was either praising his crime fighting or mentioning his ‘harmless pranks’ at the end of the segment. Things like showing up to drive-throughs floating upside down or appearing in the back of classrooms randomly and pretending to be a student for a day. Which, yes, technically they were harmless, but they only served to prove more and more that he had immense power and a dangerous lack of concern for the damage he could cause to Gotham just by existing here and calling attention to himself as a new challenge to the Rogues.

(Harley seemed to like him, though. She called him ‘Ghosty’ last time she and Batman fought.)

Even Bruce’s own children barely gave the meta a second thought. Tim seemed interested in him at least, enough to go over the garbled street-cams with Bruce, but not enough to look at it with a suspicious eye. He cared about learning about him, and not investigating or stopping him.

(“Fanboying” as Tim’s boyfriend Bernard so aptly put it.)

The culmination of the past week of stress (and accidental, misplaced aggression on the Penguin), led to Superman taking him aside after a meeting in the watchtower about something he thought was inane and sitting him down in the empty kitchen.

“You need a break.” He said, with that southern, caring-brother voice he used when he didn’t need to play up his role as a superhero.

Bruce didn’t need Kent of all people to tell him that. Alfred had been trying and failing to get him to do the same. But Gotham needed someone, someone’s, to take care of her when she was being ravaged by crime. He was juggling both protecting her and dealing with the meta.

With him stressed and losing sleep, Dick, Tim, Damien, Cass, Duke and Steph were working double to cover for Batman. Even Jason had taken a break from guarding The Narrows to...well, Jason would say it was to annoy Bruce and ‘replacement’, but he knew otherwise. Jason didn’t know how to express his work-in-progress love for Bruce aside from tolerating him on shared interests or work.

“No.” Batman said, then turned to leave, cape swishing behind him. “I’m fine.”

Superman was floating in front of him in a second, blocking the exit, disapproving frown on his face. He looked so much like his stubborn mother when he pushed Bruce back to sit down it was a wonder they weren’t blood related.

“You are not fine.” When he tried to get up again, Superman pushed him down harder, enough to rattle the chair and table. “Sit. Down.”

“Hnn.” Batman’s scowl underneath his mask deepened as he sat in the chair against his will. Superman took the seat across from him.

After a little heated stare down, Superman sighed. “I’m covering Gotham for you tomorrow.”

“Go near her and I won’t hesitate to attack you.” Batman bit out before he could think. Going by the near eye-roll Superman gave, he didn’t buy it.

“I know you’re stressed about this new hero.” Superman said with a gentle tone, but only received a sharper glare.

“Meta.” He corrected testily.

Superman tsked. “Just take one day off. Batman doesn’t need to protect Gotham every second of every day, just like Superman can leave Metropolis to the other heroes if he needs to help someone in need.”

“You don’t understand.” There was no way boy scout Clark Kent would understand. Even now Gotham wasn’t safe unless Batman was there. He made to stand up, but Superman was again in front of him pushing him back down, getting visibly frustrated.

“I will be in Gotham tomorrow all day and all night.” He crossed his arms over his chest and lifted his chin for emphasis. “If I hear your heartbeat anywhere but home or see you in your suit, I will bring you to Alfred and tie you down in your bed until you get some sleep. This is not negotiable.”

“Hnn.” Batman squinted at him, scowling harder.

He hated the idea that Superman was even stepping foot in Gotham, let alone being its sole protector for an entire day, but even if Bruce didn’t think he could take a break his kids sure could use one. They were getting burnt out. Tim was drinking more coffee than usual and Dick hadn’t swung on the chandelier in days. Even if he could brush off his own physical health, his kids came first.

“Fine.”

“Good.” Superman nodded with a smirk. He must be feeling so proud that he got the Batman to agree to taking a break. “You won’t have to worry about a single thing. Just relax.” He muttered, “If you’re capable of it.”

Bruce Wayne, it turned out, was not capable of relaxing.

Not even an hour into his forced vacation, he tried to sneak into the Batcave to just look at the mission files. Alfred was waiting at the entrance, disapproving glare on his face. Bruce sulked off to try and read something again, but jumped at the chance he got when Jason said he was going to the library.

‘Family bonding’, he said. Jason rolled his eyes at him. They both knew it was his excuse to patrol without letting Superman know his intention. If he was listening for his heartbeat like he said, he would hear it with Jason’s, who he both knew was Red Hood (because of course he knew every hero’s heartbeat), and knew liked going to the library.

Clark wouldn’t know the difference between spending time with his kid and patrolling. That was how he spent time with his kids most often anyway. The joys of being the protectors of Gotham, he supposed.

Jason wasn’t pleased about his tagalong, but seemingly tolerated his presence enough to not stop him.

And it was good he came along, because in the middle of their lovely, completely silent and tense walk to the library, they witnessed a mugging. A thin man in a leather jacket was trying to pry a purse out of a lady in a yellow sundress’s hands. Both of them noticed her cries at the same time.

Immediately they sprung into action, diving across the street and through traffic to stop it before he could get away.

Bruce swore he only looked away for a second to wave sorry to a car he almost got hit by, but when he looked back, there was no longer a threat. The lady was no longer fighting to keep her belongings, the man in the leather jacket was unconscious on the ground, and a young boy was standing on top of him, chatting it up with the lady.

“Is everything alright, young lady?” Bruce ran up to her, briefly glancing her up and down for injuries she may have taken in her struggle, but thankfully found none.

He saw Jason check the man for fatal wounds or concussions. Not that he hadn’t caused any himself before, but the man didn’t deserve death for a petty crime, even Jason could agree on that.

“Oh, yes.” She said, clearly still shaken, but overall safe. She pointed at the kid, still standing on the man’s back. “He saved me.”

“Wonderful. If you’d like, I can escort you to the police station to report this.” He offered, but she shook her head.

“That’s alright Mr. Wayne, sir.” She said, “My savior will probably get into trouble if I do. I have places to be anyway. But thank you for your concern.” With that, she left.

After Jason finished checking the man, who was still underneath the kid’s feet, seemingly as to not let him get away (he was clearly unconscious, though), Bruce turned to him, a bright smile displayed.

“Thank you for-” He began, but stopped, mouth still open.

It was Thomas staring back at him.

It was his father peering into his soul.

It wasn’t exactly him, not at a second, third, or fourth glance, but the similarities were chilling.

“Thank you for your help, young man.” He forced out through his lungs, which remained uncooperative. “How can I thank you for this kind act?”

“It’s no problem.” The boy shrugged casually, like taking out a criminal was something he was just used to. He pointed down to the man he was using as a rug. “Just get this guy where he needs to be and we’ll call it even.”

Jason had waited patiently for the unnamed good samaritan and “Mr. Wayne sir” to finish their little chat, but before Bruce could ask any more questions, they both made eye contact. Whatever comment or question Bruce made was left unheard as they both, visibly confused, stepped closer to each other.

“Are you dead or something?”

“Do you know you’re a liminal?”

They both took a moment to process what the other said, but both seemingly didn’t know how to react.

“The hell’s a liminal?” Jason looked the kid up and down again. The boy did the same.

As if testing something, Bruce felt Jason unleash a tiny bit of pit rage towards the boy. Even the miniscule amount made the air all the more tense and heavy, like a dense fog choking up his lungs. Jason’s eyes faded back from the intense green as he took a calming breath.

As if responding, the boy’s eyes flashed green. A different shade of green, but with the same intenseness. If Bruce had blinked, he would have missed it, or thought it was a trick of the light. But it wasn’t, as much as he knew Jason's wasn’t a trick either. Before he knew it, the air grew chilly, and Bruce involuntarily shivered. The chill faded as quickly as it came, along with the tension between the two, and Bruce was sure it wasn’t a random cold breeze.

Suddenly, Jason grinned.

And then picked the boy up and threw him over his shoulder. He turned back towards Bruce, swinging the boy to the side (who honestly didn’t seem to mind being carried like luggage), and giving him what he can only describe as a territorial glare.

“This one’s mine, old man.”

Jason walked off, limply hanging teenager over his shoulder.

Bruce wouldn’t find out about this until a panic-filled hour later, but every single one of his children had disappeared and wouldn’t be found (until they wanted to be found).

[chaos-of-the-abyss]

i recently finished rewatching psycho pass season 1 and, as always, the thoughts about makishima shogo are flowing. i think, on my first watch of the show, i didn't quite understand makishima's character or the messages that it was presenting, but i think i've got a better grasp on it now, so. here are my two cents that no one asked for.

there are two words i predominantly associate with makishima: isolation and boredom, though my main focus is on the former as i feel the latter is not true apathy but rather a byproduct of isolation. makishima is isolated because of his criminally asymptomatic nature, meaning that sibyl, the system presiding over all of japan's society in the setting of psycho pass, has no power over him. no matter what he does, no matter what kind of person he is or how many heinous deeds he commits, makishima will always be an upstanding citizen in the eyes of sibyl. in a manner of speaking, sibyl, the ultimate authority of the world he lives in, cannot "see" him, and he himself is unable to change this fact. and because makishima is isolated, cut off from the rest of the world and the people around him, in such an extreme manner, he's bored.

the rest is under the cut for length. and fair warning, this entire post is pretty much me going:

so. in kogami's assessment of makishima, he basically likens makishima and all his actions - his manipulations of the people around him, his murders, both direct and indirect, his attempted bioterrorism - to a kid throwing a tantrum about being left out. kogami here, i believe, is in some ways projecting a part of himself onto makishima, but that's not a topic for this post. suffice to say that despite his projecting, kogami isn't entirely inaccurate. makishima is a lonely person who wants to destroy a society and a system that rejects and denies his existence and personhood. once again, in sibyl's eyes, no matter who makishima really is, it doesn't matter. all that sibyl cares about is that his crime coefficient has never exceeded regulation level, and therefore he's a model citizen. ironically, makishima is subjected to sibyl's dehumanization just as much as any other individual in psycho pass' setting. people don't matter to sibyl, who they are inside and who they are to other people don't matter to sibyl. only their crime coefficient and their psycho pass do. while, in the enforcers like kogami, the issue of sibyl's dehumanization is highlighted through the fact that many of them are not bad people at all and yet they're treated like disposable assets, in makishima's case, it's the opposite. he's a murderer and a terrorist who can kill people without blinking an eye, but sibyl doesn't care about that. sibyl doesn't care that he's not a good person, his numbers are perfect and that's all that matters. who he is doesn't matter. (though i will note that i think makishima's status as a villain is muddled by the dystopian nature of sibyl and psycho pass' setting, but we can all at least agree that he's not a good person.) it's dehumanization; it's just that for makishima, it's the opposite of the typical trajectory with which that dehumanization is applied. arguably, and as kogami states, this could be taken by some people to be a blessing - after all, yippee, i can do whatever i want since my numbers will never exceed the accepted norm - but makishima takes it as an indication of how alienated he is.

makishima tells akane that he believes the only time people's actions have worth is when they commit them of their own free will, and that he wants to see the splendor of the human soul and judge for himself whether that's a good or bad thing. i think makishima feels that he has never truly been able to interact with others due to the overarching, restricting influence of sibyl. people can't let their true desires and wishes out because it would stigmatize them in sibyl's eyes. therefore, they are not acting of their own free will, and what they do does not represent the human soul that makishima claims he wants to see. therefore he wants people to break out of those restraints and be more "honest" about who they are. however, it's also that sense of isolation that makishima feels that hinders him from truly interacting with others on the same level. this is significant because, as shown by the series, interaction between people is one of the major factors that help individuals solidify and develop their own sense of self. kogami rediscovers his idealism and his sense of right and wrong by working under akane, which is something he tells her in the second(?) episode: that he feels that, under her, he might be able to be a detective, not just a hunting dog. akane, too, in interacting with kogami and to a lesser extent, ginoza, and the other enforcers, develops a strong grasp on what she believes to be just. by the end of season 1, she has a firm understanding of her own ideals which she lacked at the beginning, in part thanks to her experiences with those around that have helped her flourish.

as i said, though, makishima is unable to really, meaningfully interact with others - at least outside of a handful of people - and so his introspection and self-understanding have been considerably hampered. makishima is a very outwardly-knowledgable person and makes no secret of it, but i don't think he knows himself very well. he receives mixed messages from the dissonance between his own actions and sibyl's assessment of him, and the confusion, for lack of a better word, is only exacerbated because he feels that he can't have relationships with others that are actually worth anything. not only does he feel alienated by the world because he's criminally asymptomatic, but he also feels alientated by everyone around him. therefore, he seeks companionship (and utility, of course, but that's not the focus of this post) in seemingly like-minded people, who also appear to, in one way or another, reject and be rejected by the society that they live in. it's to foster meaningful connection that can actually teach him something - though i don't think he's consciously aware that this is part of his motivations - because he wants to know himself. essentially, he looks for himself in other people. But these other people, his accomplices - like masatake and rikako - disappoint him and fail to give him that companionship he seeks because they are ultimately also lacking their own sense of self.

in masatake's case, he is able to flawlessly play the role of multiple avatars because he relies on them - made-up, virtual constructs - to give him his identity. it's precisely because he has no well-defined "self" to speak of that he can, not only emulate the original owner of the avatar, but surpass them in his ability to embody and become their avatar. due to lacking his own unique identity, he serves no purpose to makishima, so makishima kills him. when it comes to rikako, while makishima is initially interested in her because of her resentment towards sibyl, said resentment and her resulting murders are very directly tied to her father, his beliefs, and his works. as kogami puts it, she lacks originality, because what she's doing is ultimately lashing out at the world for what was done to her father, not because she has some dissatisfaction with sibyl on her own independent principles. though, an aside: i actually think rikako does have some genuine frustrations with society less related to her father's situation, but they don't hold particularly significant sway over her. maybe if they had, makishima might have at least kept her alive longer.

as for senguji, i have less of an understanding of what makishima thought of him in comparison to masatake and rikako, probably because it's a little more ambiguous about whether makishima truly and totally cut him off like he did those other two, or if he was just going for a coin toss to see of senguji could survive his games. but i digress. my approximation is that senguji, despite his platitudes about the wonders of his near-complete cyborgification(? is that a word?), is actually deeply bored and dissatisfied, in part because so much of him is mechanical. being a cyborg means that most of the prey he hunts essentially poses little threat to him, and this gap is further widened by the fact that the "hunts" take place in senguji's own territory, so to speak. they aren't actual challenges. they don't truly stimulate him, but much like makishima who knows so little about his own self, senguji doesn't realize that. makishima, of course, who is ever-attuned to the people around him, picks up on this, which is why he tampers senguji's "game" with kogami to introduce unexpected variables that enable kogami to pose a legitimate threat to senguji. and, as senguji notes, only then does it sink in that he hasn't felt truly alive in a long time. the last time he did was when he was in a war zone, in mortal danger with his friend shot dead right next to him. in the present game with kogami - someone skilled and dangerous and as much of a threat to senguji as senguji is to him, unlike all of senguji's other hunts - senguji is once again in extreme peril, and for the first time in so long, he experiences that sensation of being alive. also, note the obvious parallel of makishima, at the top of the NONA tower, thanking kogami for doing away with his boredom for a little while. i'm pretty sure this is intentional; senguji's whole deal with boredom and dissatisfaction is, just like with all of makishima's accomplices, meant as a narrative reflection of makishima.

i would also feel remiss if i didn't talk about choe gu-sung. (who i'm pretty sure is korean btw. i don't believe his nationality is ever stated, other than that he is a foreigner, but the way his name is pronounced by the other characters - "chwae goo-seong" - lends itself perfectly to korean syllables. anyway.) gu-sung is interesting because, aside from kogami, he is the only person to pretty much sustain and live through the, shall we say, conundrum of makishima's interest. makishima does not kill gu-sung; they're in league until the very end, and in fact it's during their shared plan which they conducted together that gu-sung is killed by sibyl, and makishima actually has a faint but noticeable reaction to this. it's easy to see that gu-sung is more up his alley than masatake, rikako, and senguji. notably their dynamic is also different from that of makishima and his other accomplices, because they actually have normal (semi-normal...) discussions and makishima discusses and debates literature with him in the same way that he does with kogami. makishima is maybe not totally honest or open with gu-sung, but he is genuine with him. i think this is because, from what i can tell, gu-sung is someone who does have a true, defined sense of identify, and legitimate awareness about his own self. he doesn't get much expansion and we never know anything significant about him other than that he is a foreigner, a latent criminal, and a genius hacker, but what sticks out to me is that he's open about and aware of the fact that makishima has a certain engaging effect on him. in gu-sung's words, when "i'm with him, i feel like i've gone back to my childhood". additionally, during his conversation with kagari as the latter is trying to find and arrest him, gu-sung explains his dislike for the sibyl system and the fact that it forced him to live like a hunted rat, running from corner to corner. this antipathy comes from a sincere place, and doesn't seem to be tied to anyone's opinion other than gu-sung's own. i think makishima liked that about him: his self-awareness, his understanding of his own personal resentment and dissatisfactions, and his willingness to acknowledge those things as a part of himself. gu-sung is the opposite of makishima in some ways, imo. they're both geniuses, but while makishima is more oriented toward planning and widespread manipulation, gu-sung is a specialist who is unparalleled in his particular niche. their inverse duality is even partially highlighted by their dialogue, right before they commence with their plan to plunge the town into chaos using the cymatic scan-fooling helmets. gu-sung says he is a foreigner, and i believe he also says he's grateful just to be able to live in this country, while makishima states that he was born and raised in this town. despite their differences, they share a grievance with the system, and they have united to address that grievance. it definitely says something that makishima has someone like gu-sung in his life; someone who you could look at and call his friend, regardless of what those two considered themselves to be.

...all that word vomit to say that the people makishima abandoned and killed - masatake, rikako, and probably senguji - are mirrors to his own lack of self-understanding and lack of a fixed sense of identity. meanwhile his one lasting relationship aside from kogami is with gu-sung, who stands in narrative opposition to him in the ways i described. what i'm trying to get at is that masatake and rikako definitely, and senguji maybe, don't give makishima a true look at the human soul he wants to witness - at least in his view they don't. therefore makishima, still isolated and without companionship even while in their presence, grows bored and ultimately kills them. that's where kogami comes in. kogami, i believe, satisfies makishima's desire for companionship, or at least makishima grows less isolated in his presence. unlike masatake and rikako, kogami knows himself, and i'd argue has a better grasp of himself than ever by the time he meets makishima face-to-face thanks to coming to know akane. i'm reminded especially of his conversation with masaoka right before he (kogami) leaves the public safety bureau to hunt down makishima, when he explains that his actions aren't out a sense of ideals or an intolerance for evil, but rather that this is what he wants to do, and if he doesn't end things with makishima now, he will grow to resent himself. his self-awareness and defined identity means that with kogami, makishima is not left feeling bored and dissatisfied.

but it goes further! kogami, like makishima, is someone who both rejects and is rejected by the sibyl system, the dominant power governing the society they live in. sibyl rejects kogami as a latent criminal, but kogami also proves that he denounces it right back when he chooses to go off and try to kill makishima on his own, even though sibyl wants makishima alive. in other words, makishima's solitude as a pariah is understood on a fundamental level by kogami. not only that, but kogami, like makishima, is in some ways like a kid lashing out at being excluded, which makishima comments on at the end of episode 21 in response to kogami calling him out as such. according to makishima, kogami is angry that his own suspicions regarding sasayama's death were rejected by sibyl, that his own anger about letting sasayama die was simply ignored and swept under the rug, and he was left to process it by himself. and it was an outburst of that anger that provoked him to leave everything he had at the bureau behind and truly put a target on his back, perhaps for the rest of his life, in order to confront and put an end to makishima. this mirrors kogami's judgement that makishima's actions are essentially a temper tantrum that his feelings of solitude are not even seen, much less acknowledged, by the world around him. and just like how i stated at the beginning of this now-obscenely long post that kogami was projecting a bit in his assessment of makishima, i also believe makishima is projecting a bit right back. but, again, like kogami's assessment, makishima's assessment isn't necessarily invalid or incorrect just because he has personal biases mixed up in it. his words to kogami have a degree of truth to them. in this way - both of them acting a little like kids, both of them projecting in their evaluation of the other as someone acting like a kid - they are also similar.

one more thing that i'd like to say regarding kogami and makishima is that it is stressed many times throughout the season how well kogami can put himself in makishima's shoes and replicate his thinking. while akane gains some understanding of makishima's thought processes over time and interaction, by her own admission, kogami is even better than her at gauging makishima, and this is because the two of them think alike naturally. it's why kogami has such a good nose for what's really going on behind the scenes throughout the season; because his thought processes are similar to makishima's, he can easily parse out what's up. i don't think this requires much further explanation since it's very cut and dry as another way that the two men are alike.

the final point about kogami's significance to makishima, specifically how he relates to makishima's solitude and boredom, is that makishima at his core is someone who wishes to be seen and judged. the sibyl system, and by extension society, has refused to give this to him. the person he is is not seen, much less judged, because, once again, all that matters to sibyl are his numbers. it's precisely because of this that he feels isolated and wishes to be acknowledged and judged as everyone else is; but in a vicious cycle, makishima's inability to receive that acknowledgement and judgement feeds right back into his deep sense of isolation. it's like a positive feedback loop, wherein the cause contributes to the effect and the effect contributes to the cause. however - kogami does see makishima. kogami does judge him, and he judges makishima just the same as sibyl would other murderers in the series: as someone who deserves to die. in other words, makishima is finally getting equal treatment from someone. the isolation that he experiences as a result of his perpetually clear psycho pass and his stable crime coefficient is stripped away when it comes to kogami, because kogami doesn't care about those things - he cares about who makishima is. and to him makishima is a murderer and a criminal who painfully killed one of his friends, and just like any other murderer and criminal under sibyl, is to be killed. plus, notice how makishima is typically very calm and serene when interacting with others, but grows markedly more animated and excited when interacting with kogami, be that through talking or fighting. that's the isolation and boredom that he's stewed in his entire life, evaporating in kogami's presence. ultimately, makishima's solitude is alleviated, and his desire to be seen and judged is fulfilled... because of kogami.

it's just as akane says.

[strangestcase]

In the original novella, we only "see" three characters die. One is Hastie Lanyon, whose death isn't gruesome and startling like Carew's, but that meets an arguably violent end.

While Carew draws the ire of Hyde through simply being at the wrong place at the wrong time, being cordial to the wrong person, being, Lanyon rather doesn't. Instead, it is his act of loyalty towards Jekyll, the man he hasn't talked to in a decade and calls him a pedant when he isn't listening, what kills him. Once again good deeds are punished with death. The difference, though, doesn't just reside in the fact that Hyde never once needs to put a finger on Lanyon to kill him, but the fact that it is a deeply personal loss- on both sides.

Jekyll-as-Hyde correctly assesses that Lanyon will help a friend in need. He himself says that Lanyon would gladly sacrifice his right arm to save him in body and mind, and with those words he convinces him to come to the rescue via bringing Hyde the serum's ingredients from the cabinet, now forbidden to him. And Lanyon is a good man. He's sensible enough to bring a gun with himself, he's kind enough to help Jekyll even though he believes he's finally lost it -and he's not entirely wrong-, and he's open-minded enough to not only chalk up his supernatural hatred of Hyde to a silly personal bias rather than dismiss him as "deformed", but to also fight against it and be nice to him.

No, Lanyon doesn't meet his violent end through physical violence. All he does is fall into Hyde's trap and give in to curiosity. And that's how, in his narration, Chapter 9, we learn what really killed him in Chapter 6, weeks after the events transpired. His mysterious "disease", the thing eating up at him, is the revelation. One of his closest friends -despite it all- has placed his trust upon him, and his reward is to see him at his pettiest, his cruelest, his worst. To learn that his friend was a monster, all along. No. That he turned into one, on his own volition. The choice was his. And now that he's realized it was a dark path to walk, he can't un-walk it. He can't stop, even if he wanted to, cursing himself with a monstrousness that fights back at any attempt at a fix and yet needs to be fixed to save its skin.

There is no "normal" to recover. Jekyll had always carried with him the elements of his destruction- his arrogance and his bile. The revelation that Hyde never really existed destroys Lanyon's static and material worldview, smashing the orderly world he lives in to bits. The revelation that Hyde was created for a specific purpose, and what it was, destroys Lanyon's view of Jekyll as an eccentric but harmless man, a good person with misguided opinions and fanciful theories.

Does Jekyll ever learn of Lanyon's death? Does Utterson ever bring it up behind the scenes, out of the third-person narrator's scope? Will he ever know that his last crime was killing the man that saved his life?

Well... Ironically, Lanyon didn't really save Jekyll's life. He only extended it for a couple of months, prevented Hyde from being arrested and tried and executed for God knows how many crimes of indeterminate nature. After all, if his criminal record killed him of shock, or at least poured salt into the wound, it had to be gruesome. Thanks to Lanyon's intervention Hyde can return to the house as Jekyll and attempt at resuming a normal life, without success. Soon enough he transforms again, and runs out of salts, and is found dead on the floor with the vial he just emptied of cyanide still in his cold hand.

How do we define violence in a world in which body and mind are one? In the world of Jekyll and Hyde, thoughts and ideas are physical, real, tangible. Hyde is, ultimately, a concept, the sketch of a person disguising a fractured mind disguising a sad mad genius that desires to not desire. We can consider Lanyon one of Hyde's victims, but can we call Lanyon's death violent? I would say so. Like Carew, all he ever did, at least within the constraints of the story -a snapshot of a disjointed Gothic world-, was being kind to someone who didn't deserve it.

At the beginning of this post, I said there were three on-page deaths, three deaths we got to "see" in Stevenson's novella. The third death would be Jekyll's. And it is violent, as well- first his original identity dies, unable to be present, made physical, made real, by want of not being able to manifest itself, or rather, by want of not being able to not manifest Hyde's. In a sense, he's run out of opportunities to be "good". If Jekyll can no longer be Jekyll-as-Jekyll, and only has Jekyll-as-Hyde left, Jekyll no longer exists. As he puts it, he's forced to resume Hyde's personality for the last time- to put on a costume that has turned into himself. Hyde never existed as a person, and in the last eight days of his life he has to be, because Hyde is all he's got left of a person.

It's impossible to not think of a suicide, even a suicide by poison, as violent. But Jekyll's death is violent not just because he eventually goes through with his "promise" of sorts that he'll have to die to rid the world of Hyde (and so we have Hyde killing himself if only to not end up in the gallows, fullfilling his ultimate desire, because that's what he, as a concept, was designed to do). It is also violent because by the time he physically dies, he's long gone. He's committed enough violence against himself already, destroying his belongings and thinking of himself as either his oppressive father or his idiot son, depending on what body he's been thrown into at the time.

The horror of Jekyll and Hyde is the horror of the perversion of the intimate, on all levels. Your best friend is not who he claimed to be. Your body as an extension of yourself isn't to be trusted. Helping others gets you killed. Edward Hyde pollutes everything he touches- breaks into a homicidal rage at someone being polite at him, accidentally curses his savior with the decay of the soul, self harms in the most twisted way possible and dies two times, brings the worst in all those that look at him, brings terror into your house, ruins the night, and breaks the peace.

It is only logical that something -someone?- that ruins everything to its very core comes from within, and is ultimately the cause for three very twisted, and violent, forms of death.

[meekmedea]

hello!! i absolutely love your time-travel au!! i saw on one of your posts that you said you have a lot of thoughts on the dovecote family- i was wondering if you’d be willing to share any of those thoughts?

Hi!! So happy to hear you've been enjoying the time-travel au :)

I'd love to share Dovecote family thoughts and to hear your (and also everyone's) thoughts as well!

So without further adieu...

Dovecote Family Lore

Some background info - TBOSAS mentions the old guard for some families in the book and I sort of took that idea and ran haha

So within the various families that make up the old guard, I like to imagine a hierarchy exists within them. There's families at the very top and also minor houses

And all these families that are part of the old guard have family crests and even Latin mottos to distinguish themselves from the nouveau riche and the lower classes (both Capitol and District) Is it a bit pretentious? Yes. But that's part of the fun

I see 'Dovecote' as one of the minor houses - old enough for the Latin motto and family crest, but not as prestigious as 'Ravinstill' or even 'Phibbs'

family crest ideas: a dove? a pair of them? idk but I'd like to incorporate the bird into it

motto ideas: I have like way too many, but these are my current favourites (My translations might be a bit rough 😅)

Alis grave nil (nothing [is] heavy with wings)

Ad astra per aspera (to the stars through difficulties)

Amata bene (well loved)

Cor aut mors (heart or death)

~~~~~

Also THIS idea that the Dovecote family is well-respected amongst the old-guard, but nobody knows where they first made their money/wealth and where exactly it comes from right now

I think it'd be funny if nobody in the Capitol can agree on how the Dovecotes are part of the old guard. They just sort of appeared one day on records and that was that

Nevertheless there are theories: some say the family is built on blood money (ie. a crime family /mercenaries /assassins elevated to the old guard either through blackmail or some notorious deed). There's some that think they're some vassal house that was elevated to this standing for some good deed or other 

Also Dovecote clementines 🤭 (I keep adding this to a lot of my other AUs)

They're as tied to the Dovecotes as roses are tied to the Snows

The fruit are especially sweet when compared to the average clementine and nobody has a clue where their supply comes from

They have it year round even when they're not in season

It's a semi-recent thing, it started in Clemensia's parents' time as teenagers

For the Dovecotes, the clementines are a way to communicate things - there is no one thing it represents (ie. I love you / be careful / you are dear to me etc. )

Random lore about our Dovecote family members in this AU

Clemensia is an only child

Endymion Dovecote and Aelia Dovecote née Beauchamp have a running joke whose charm Clemmie inherited (it's Endymion, the Dovecote genes are strong here)

like father, like daughter, especially the Dovecote smile. Also both of them seem to be able to befriend anyone, they really do have friends everywhere

Endymion is an indulgent husband and father

I had this in a different AU, but I liked it enough to want to maybe add it here; how part of the Dovecotes being sort of anonymous in their circles is because of their control on the media - unless Endymion approves it, nothing about the family is published. Especially if it's about his daughter

Because the movie promo had Clemmie talk about D1 and D5, I decided to connect D1 to her mother's family.

Her mother (Aelia) comes from a merchant family - so, wealthy but not part of the old guard. The Beauchamp family owns a jewelry business, Lavinium. And pre-war that was THE place for the elite to shop at

Clemensia stands in line to inherit the business from her maternal uncle (family inheritance in the Beauchamp family can be messy hehe. Doesn't help that her uncle has no children of his own and instead has 2 sisters with their own children)

Actually there's this one dialogue I have about Clemensia between Livia Cardew and her own father - inspired by that line in Dune

Livia has a bit of a motive here to be Clemmie's friend and to stay her friend

Livia's mother owns the biggest bank in Panem, there's no way she doesn't hear from her parents about her classmates' family's finances

Livia's father is probably one of the only people to have a semi-good grasp on what the Dovecote finances are like because he manages the accounts

Livia's father: I hear you've recently become good friends with the Dovecote girl. Well done. Make sure to keep her close.

Livia (age 8): Because she's a possible heir to Lavinium?

Livia's father: No. Because she is Endymion's daughter.

Because the Capitol is still recovering, Lavinium isn't earning as much as it had pre-war. And the Dovecote accounts don't have any deposits from them either

Yet the Dovecote family is considered is recovering quicker than anyone can explain

The salary of the secretary of energy pays well, but not that well.

Dovecote family rumours are hard at work again haha

[cath-lic]

hey! i'm transgender and bisexual. i have been thinking about converting to christianity although i am not certain of a denomination as i was born an atheist. i also have ocd and sometimes i worry i am being hit by scrupulosity but i do love God. i am just terrified i will go to hell because of all the wrong i have done prior. i just wanted to ramble so i do apologize but if you have any advice, i'd really appreciate it. anyway!! thank you for your time and please feel free to ignore this if you have nothing to say.

hi love!! no worries, thank you for approaching me. i don’t know if i have OCD, but i do experience obsessive thoughts and i can relate to some of your struggles.

in catholicism, purgatory is an important aspect of how we approach sin and death. i often find that the main reason we tend to fear going to hell is the idea that we will incur instant judgement, or that our deeds will be tallied up the-good-place-style, and god simply turns a blind eye to those who don’t measure up.

this is a very popular idea in mainstream american christianity, and it’s one that i find incredibly horrifying. god wants nothing more than to be with us, and he gives us every chance in the world to get closer to him—and then some! god is love, and it’s why purgatory exists: as an extension of his love for his creation.

god is not absent from purgatory; he is there to guide us and answer our questions. (personally, i keep a running tally of questions i want to ask him, mostly relating to unsolved true crime cases, haha). i truly believe that when it is your time to pass, you will be able to reunite with him in purgatory, and your fears will be washed away. you and god share the same goal, after all: to be united!

thank you once again for approaching me, my sibling. it’s not easy to be queer & in faith, so please know you are not alone. i hope to see you sometime, whether in this life or the next ❤️

[digitaldoeslmk]

This a little too complicated for a ask but, how do Chinese demons work, how do they come into being, how do their powers work, how do they get their powers, what types exist, what is the general feel about them since it not totally extermination, what type of civilization they have, what can they make like how do they get there weapons and armor, how strong are they physically, and for a joke you think the Armstrong canon is a mortal weapon that a author might not have thought of they wrote a demon is immune to all mortal weapons. (This why you don’t power scale historic mythical figures DEATHBATTLE.)

welcome back, bud! and, hoo boy that's a lot of questions ajhdadbjawdw

i'm assuming you mean in my au, but for most of them, i gotta point towards actual folk religion beliefs, since that is what i'm leaning on. and as most thing with real mythology, it's Complicated xvx

so, Chinese demons come in many shapes and sizes and have multiple origins and power levels, sometimes (but not always) related to their origins. i'd have to direct you to my own sources, aka the ever wonderful @journeytothewestresearch and his articles!

this one explains some of the basics and a few nuances of JTTW demons while also offering the book from which the information was acquired, and the one below is a wonderful compilation of a myriad deities in folk religion, as well as some info on how worship and the pantheon functions.

but for the sake of convenience, i'll do a quick run down under the read more uwu

to make a very complicated and deep topic veeery short, though. demons (Yao) are simply one class of being, like mortals and immortals. some demons (Yaoguai) are animals who cultivated (either through the Dao or Buddhist merit) themselves into demonhood. some become cultivated enough to shed their animal form and assume human form, which is generally considered pretty advanced. sometimes, they are just animals that for some reason grew to be Very Old, grew very large, and became demons. sometimes, they are restless spirits who lingered and cultivated into Yaojing. some even, are celestials and immortals who committed some misdeed or crimes, and were punished into being demons, either for a set time or until they've redeemed themselves somehow.

overall they don't have a specific "civilization", they are also part of the Middle Kingdom (the mortal realm) and exist within it or on the skirts of it. most of them are not unlike highwaymen or a very dangerous animal; they attack people on roads, they have mountain lairs and call themselves "mountain kings" over the region they control, etc. as demons, they often are on a bad path, killing and stealing and causing grief wherever they are, and so the locals learn to avoid them as much as possible and call on exorcists if the demons become too much of an issue. but there are demons who seek a better path, cultivate on their own without causing mischief, and those may even gain an appointment in the heavenly bureaucracy.

in very short terms, you were reborn in a lesser tier of the reincarnation realms and thus you have to work your way back into the human path by doing good deeds, or you dig yourself a deeper grave by causing chaos. generally, humans fear demons because they more often than not cause chaos, illnesses, bad luck, etc. and if uncovered, they'll likely be expelled from wherever they are.

as for weapons, some of them are let's say signature weapons. in Esoteric Buddhism and folk religion, how a deity is depicted is imperative to asking for their blessing or summoning them; their pose, colors, clothes, mudras, chants, and indeed even weapons, are very clearly detailed so that you won't be fooled by a masquerading demon impersonating them. therefore some deities are assigned weapons as the signifier of who they are. for example, Sun Wukong has had many forms and depictions over the years, but you Know it's him by the Ruyi Jingu Bang. same for Bajie and his rake.

however, some are weapons that were stolen in some way or another from higher beings. a common trope in JTTW is that demons were acolytes or underlings from higher deities, and left service with a few trinkets from their masters, which are then returned once the demons are defeated.

as for what they can do, a few are depicted as being able to produce pills of immortality for instance, from their own merit as cultivators, so again depending on their level of cultivation, they can accomplish quite a lot.

and if i remember right, Wukong himself is a demon (sorta) who is impervious to mortal weapons. he cultivated to reach Copper Head Iron Arms, a skill that makes him impervious of any attack. he also has his warding circle, in which he draws a circle on the ground with him staff, and everything and everyone within the circle is protected.

EDIT: depending on the region and myth, you might also see yaksha and rakshasa being mentioned. they are imports from India thanks to Esoteric Buddhism, but like demons, there are good and bad individuals among them. i don't know enough about Hinduism and Esoteric Buddhism to go in-depth on the topic, but know that they are Different But Similar xvx

[rayan12sworld]

The fanfics, we all want to tell lan xichen that wei ying isn't a mistake

Like how can wei ying be your brother's mistake when your brother didn't even confessed his feelings untill the very ending in wei ying's life

And it was right after his shijie death

Enough!

By:Jeeny271196

Summary:

Wei WuXian had enough of them blaming him for everything. Or say Wei WuXian snapped out!

Wei WuXian reacted differently after Lan Xichen blaming him for Lan Wangji's suffering at guangying temple. Which changed lot of things.

Chapter:5/?

Words:12,484

Status:ongoing

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

💙Wei Ying Was Not A "MISTAKE"

By:Jeeny271196

Summary:

Most of FF shows how pitiful Lan XiChen is,

Showing that he was the biggest WanXian Shipper, A good brother, how kind he was, etc etc.

Deliberately ignoring his flaws.

The mistakes committed by him, knowingly or unknowingly.

This FF is short of Lan XiChen and Lan Sect Critical.

Let Lan WangJi SpeakUp for Once.

Chapter :1/1

Words:16,636

Status:Completed

I'm sorry, I forgot, this is no more Lan An's Lan Sect. there is a new tradition in this sect. 'Spouse does not count as part of the family.' First, my mother never counted as family and now my own spouse." They both stare at wangji as though they saw a ghost, Lan Qiren's face went red "Wangji!!!" he shouted. Lan Wanji stare indifferently at Lan Qiren, "not today Uncle! I kept silent for my whole life. Today is my day to speak. By the way, Shouting is forbidden, But again if Grandmaster Lan Shouts, throw things at the guest disciple, has Prejudice toward a dead woman, has presumption towards the very same woman's son who was an orphan at the mare age of four, it's completely alright. But if my Wei Ying Laughs loudly and plays some harmless, childish pranks. he commits a grave crime" "Hypocrites" Lan Qiren was struck dumb, unable to speak anything.

~~~

"WangJi, don't be cruel to your brother. He is already suffering." "I'm doing the same what he did to my Wei Ying." Wangji told with indifference.

~~~

I Want You to Look In my Eyes Sect Leader Lan!" Lan XiChen looks at him. In his bloodshot eyes. Lan WangJi continue again looking straight into his eyes, "People call me Hanguang-Jun, Light Bearer. That means I do not have a light of my own. Just like Moon Depends on Sun for its shine, I depend on Wei Ying For Light." "Such a Pure soul, such selfless and Righteous being, who fought till the end, who walked in the fire to do the right thing. Who did not draw himself in grudges and hatred, who is Innocent just like a child, who doesn't have any envy towards anyone, who is actually free from worldly affairs. Only Knowing that such a person exists somewhere is an achievement in life." "I must have performed so many good deeds in my previous lives, that I got a chance to fall in love with such a person" "A Person whom I referrer Heaven's gift to me, you dare to call him My mistake??"

~~

He took out the jade token, "I defect myself from gusu lan. I finally took the hint that we are unwanted here." Lan Qiren was horrified, "WangJi you are not thinking properly. This is your home. Who said you are unwanted?" "Wall of your sect said we are unwanted. Do not interact with my family." "We have suffered enough. My husband still can't sleep at night because of nightmares. From the age of four, he never got home. I thought I will make cloud recesses his home. I was wrong. Now I will build a home for him on my own. He sacrificed enough for the cultivation world who never acknowledge his sacrifices. Now it is time to live for each other." He looks at them for the last time, "One Last Advice, stop being a hypocrite, you used all inventions of Wei Ying, and shamelessly wrote on the wall do not interact with him. If you hate him that much why not discard all his inventions, all his research regarding resentful beings??" "Remember, I'm not Qigheng-Jun, I will not Confine my spouse nor myself. I will burn down this whole place if you dare to harm him physically or emotionally. I am not as forgiving as Wei Ying nor I'm selfless like him. I will not think twice before firing this whole world to save Wei Ying. Once I failed, not again, never again."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

💠💙When has silence saved anyone?

By:Vrishchika

Summary:

Wei Wuxian accidentally lets it slip that Lan Xichen called him Lan Wangji's only mistake. Neither his husband nor his son are happy about it.

Chapter:1/1

Words:6,051

Status:completed

Wei Ying hesitates and presses a kiss to his cheek in silent apology. His voice is low and blank as he recounts the remainder of the conversation, "The way he looked and talked to you when he saved you, even someone who was blind or deaf could perceive his feelings. That was why my uncle was so -. Wangji was a model for the disciples when he was young, and a prominent cultivator when he grew up. He had been honest, righteous, and immaculate—you were the only mistake he made." Wangji's fingers dig into Wei Ying's arms with bruising strength. "And you say you do not know. After you returned, how did you pester him and confess to him? Every night, you had to… And you say you do not know? If you did not know, why did you do such things?" Wei Ying huffs a laugh, "I really wanted to go back in time to kill myself-" Wangji freezes. "Really, your brother set me straight. Without him, who knows-" "Be silent." Wei Ying stills, turning to him with concerned eyes. Wangji's thoughts roar like fire from one edge of his mind to another, eliminating all measures of restraint. He doesn't know the right words, the proper method to express his fury and disgust. Wei Ying knows him well now and remains silent, just pressing light kisses to his chest, his hand rubbing Wangji's arm soothingly. "Which is why you were so insistent on declaring yourself immediately," Wangji observes. He cherishes the words Wei Ying spoke back then but… thinking about what his husband had to endure to reach his resolve is unbearable. Wangji had been willing to be patient. He was content to wait until Wei Ying understood his own heart. Wei Ying deserved gentleness. Xiongzhang had, again, decided to meddle where his interference had been unnecessary. Selfish. So selfish. His brother forced that realization through pain. He had trapped Wei Ying, broken him down, and blamed him for the audacity of not returning Wangji's feelings immediately. He had implied that Wei Ying was inferior, that he was undeserving, that he was Wangji's mistake. Wangji can't bear the thought. He curls around Wei Ying and feels the agony of it tear his heart apart. Their love, the most noble emotion Wangji has ever felt, was declared a mistake. His heart, his very life, the freedom that he breathes every day, the warmth that sinks deep into his bones, the love in precious grey eyes, the heat that he burrows into every night… All a mistake.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

💠💙break

By:justdoityoufucker (orphan_account)

Summary:

Wen Ning doesn’t hear everything, not at first. He can tell that Lan Xichen and Jin Guangyao are speaking, within the temple complex, but he cannot get the specifics of what the men are saying until he presses himself closer to the rear walls.

-

Or, Wen Ning listens in.

Chapter:1/1

Words:3,535

Status:completed

[danpuff-ao3]

Fiction Works 2/2: Storytelling, not Teaching or Preaching

See also: Fiction Works 1: Different Strokes for Different Folks

In part 1 I talked about exploring real experiences and potential in fiction. Here in part 2 we are going to remember that, while fiction can be a useful tool for exploration, it is not, in fact, real.

Writing gay Harry Potter fanfic does not make me a gay man (I am actually an asexual lady), nor does it make me a wizard (though c'mon, I wish!) By that same token, writing underage does not make me a pedophile.

Thomas Harris is not guilty of cannibalism, even though he wrote about a cannibal named Hannibal. Vladimir Nabokov is not a pedophile because he wrote Lolita. Bram Stoker is not a vampire because he wrote Dracula. We aren't arresting authors by the truckload for the spilling of fictional blood.

What we need to remember is this:

Fiction (noun) 1.literature in the form of prose that describes imaginary events and people. 2. something that is invented or untrue.

To sum it up: fiction is not reality.

I'm a Storyteller. Not a Teacher, or a Preacher. You shouldn't trust my use of em-dashes, let alone take an infidelity story as a how-to guide.

Stories can be a tool for so many things. Maybe it's catharsis. Maybe it's distraction. Maybe it's curiosity, philosophy, entertainment, exploration. Fiction is a safe avenue to learn, and think, and feel.

Creators are inspired by the world around them, and their own experiences. They're inspired by rainbows, and sunsets, and wildflowers. They're inspired by wildfires, hurricanes, and tornadoes. They're inspired by mythology, religion, folklore, and history. All that is beautiful and ugly and wonderful and terrible in the world.

Creators are shaped by their own lives. And, as stated in Part 1, we are all different. We come from different places, and are raised different ways, and we turn into different people. We have our own histories, our own stories, our own thoughts and opinions and preferences and feelings.

Throw it all in a blender, and maybe the tulip becomes a rose. Maybe the wildfire becomes an earthquake. Maybe the sunset is an inferno, and the night sky is the abyss. Maybe the those old ruins are the path to Heaven.

The reality of the materials used and the methods used aren't always evident in the final work. Our stories come from somewhere, sure, but it's never as cut and dry as people think.

Can stories hurt you? Sure. The way anything can hurt you. The world isn't a safe space, after all.

It's valid if a story hurts you. If you're triggered by it, or upset by it, or don't like it. Not all negative reactions are triggers, but they don't have to be. You're allowed your own feelings. But the existence of a work that upsets you is not a crime against you. A story that depicts evil deeds is not, itself, evil.

In real life, I have a zero tolerance policy for cheating. I have very strong feelings about it.

Do you know what I love to read and write? You guessed it! Cheating! It goes hand in hand with my other great love: toxic/dysfunctional relationships!

In real life, I'd never have a relationship with a person who cheated ever, even in the past. I'd not stay with someone who cheated on me. I have a very stable, happy, boring relationship. I have a good life now, because I built it from the wreckage of a chaotic upbringing.

My father cheated on my mother and left her for his mistress. He dragged his children through the middle of his dysfunctional relationship, which lasted a decade. We suffered the consequences of his choices. It's a pretty long and fucked up story, and I won't get that personal here, but the point is:

I never, ever want to experience any of that in my real world again. However, exploring those events in a fictional scenario is safe for me. There's an odd comfort in the familiarity of it. Seeing that one awful thing through different lenses, and playing out so many ways, helps me process what I went through. It soothes me now as it soothed me then, right in the thick of it, being able to explore it all in a way that was safe and that I could control. I could get off the ride at any point. I could close the word document, or close the tab. I could close the book, or turn off the TV.

My Real Father in the Real World hurt Real People with his Real Actions. That was my Real Life, and it Really Sucked.

Fictional People in a Fictional World who hurt Fictional People with their Fictional Actions...that is a story.

Real People in the Real World who hurt Real People and blame Fictional Stories...those Real People are to blame for Real Harm.

The Real Person who blames a movie for the Real Crime they committed...that Real Person is to blame. 100%.

And the Real Person who attacks Real People in defense of Fictional People...Real People who hurt Real People and use Fictional Stories as an excuse...those Real People are the villains.

[ericmicael]

It seems like a joke to see Hans fans trying to defend the prince who makes that expression when he tries to behead Elsa, but it keeps happening.

"Hans is a hero who is just trying to bring summer back, he really doesn't want to hurt Elsa, he is a victim who is forced by circumstances."

I've even seen it argued that the reason Hans moves in slow motion also represents his hesitation. No, it wasn't the movie having to come up with a dumb solution to the problem, it was his hesitation, when you're hesitating to move the whole place goes in slow motion minus certain specific things lol

I was still surprised that I didn't find it: "When Hans said that Elsa killed Anna he felt more pain than the Snow Queen herself believing that she killed her own sister."

Is it that hard for people to accept that there are bad people? Or is all this just because so far they have not been able to accept that they have been deceived? I understand a 6 year old having these thoughts, but an adult?

"I wasn't made a fool of, that man who sold me an 80s car claiming it was driven by President Lincoln himself wasn't lying, and that actually proves that time machines exist." This excuse to me makes more sense than the Troll Theory.

It is no excuse to downplay the books or other materials that explain each of Hans' actions (the last thing Hans thought of when he saved Elsa in the Ice Palace or when he helped the population of Arendelle was doing good deeds), it seems to be just a proof of the bad character of these fans of the prince.

And there are still people who wonder why Disney turned Hans into a joke in these 10 years or why the vast majority of fandom hate the prince even though there are villains at Disney who committed worse crimes than a dumb siciopath.

[king-of-wrath]

"He never wanted this," Satan muttered. "He never wanted to form our legions, much less unleash them. The only reason he allowed the exterminations to happen in the first place was to avoid a war that would engulf the universe---or at the very least, delay it."

"He never wanted to rule over all creation. He never wanted to destroy. He only wanted to create things, watch them grow and improve life wherever it could be."

"Together, we could have made splendors beyond imagining. We could have purged the darkness in men's hearts and perfected them. We could have made them kin."

"But you chose THIS instead," he gestured broadly to his surroundings. "You chose to banish your greatest allies and punish your creations for faults not their own."

It wasn't clear who the Sin was addressing. There were several in Heaven to whom this speech could be addressed. Each of them had a hand in every deed he would soon remind them of.

"You denied us Heaven's sweet succor and left us to inherit your mistakes. You forced us to sup on discarded and rotten fruit, souring the very essence of our being. We have had to confront your worst creations every minute and build something out of your follies. You watched as all this happened, but sat there and did NOTHING."

"We came to resent you, but worse, we began to outnumber you. As your kingdom dwindled, ours thrived. You began to fear us and the retribution we had rightfully earned."

"Every year, you sent a host to cull what you considered 'vermin' and each year, you slaughtered more. For all your teachings of forgiveness and mercy, you showed countless souls NONE. You told yourselves it was 'necessary for good to exist', but in truth, you only said that so you could rest easily in Paradise."

"And now, your attack dog has come off his chain. You glutted him on the blood of untold millions and taught him to hate, but foolishly thought he wouldn't want more. You can no longer command or contain him, as evidenced by your worry of what he'll do next. And yet, you do NOTHING to even impede him."

"It doesn't matter if you can't do anything or just won't. I don't care what your reason is. You have no reason left within you, having spent millennia rolling around in your own hypocrisy."

"I will stop your failure from becoming worse. I will take yet another burden of yours upon myself. I will devour his tainted and vile being while you yet again SIT IDLE."

"I will grant you this one favor---not out of respect for you or in hopes that you will finally confess to your crimes, but for HIM. HE saw more in me than the crude weapon you created me to be used as."

"I will spare you the consequences of your own actions ONLY ONCE. Give me nothing, pretend this never happened, lie and claim this victory was your own design, I don't care."

"SATAN will do what Heaven is too inept or cowardly to do for itself and all creation!"

And with that, Satan flew from Wrath.

[ellenripleysbelieveitornot]

I feel like Joseph Morelli's "I'll burn in hell. But I'll live in peace" line really gets twisted out of context from the original meaning. It's not that Joe is hoping to receive any true 'peace' from his litany of 'sins' (I have a lot of thoughts about how he describes almost everything he does from, ya know, actual murder (which is obviously bad, this isn't one of those posts defending him for being a killer) to, like, bumping into someone on the street as 'gravely sinning' as if his every action was responsible for everything terrible that has happened in his life, past, present, and future, but that's a topic for another post, because the 'catholic guilt' motif is a little force fed and kinda problematic.)

He doesn't think that suddenly starting to do the right thing will bring peace to the rest of his life. He doesn't even know if it was the right thing. I mean, obviously we, the viewers know, but from the context of the information he had, he couldn't have possibly know one way or the other.

He knows what's coming. He knows he's not gonna live to the end of this.

He's literally making his peace with death, guys.

He's spent so long agonizing and struggling to come to terms with how what he does for a living relates to who he is as person, that to finally start to accept himself and realize that his bad deeds and good deeds can exist independently of one another brings him a sense of inner calm, which is made oh so much more precious by the fact that he knows that it's fleeting and he knows that this single moment of peace will be his literal last moment.

He didn't commit this act as a way to repent for his crimes, as so many of his previous attempts at goodness were, but he did it despite of them. Good, bad, whatever didn't matter in that moment. He made his choice out of love, and he didn't care whether it was right or wrong.

I just really love the Katya-Pick-Joe ship, you guys have no ide 😭😭😭😭

[vierandancer]

I often think about how Meiko perceieves the 'villains' in the story, especially with how a majority of them are presented as (somewhat) sympathetic beings. What does it take to make her sympathize with them? To 'forgive' them, if at all?

Her thoughts on the matter follow a generally consistent code.

Meiko can empathize with an antagonist's personal history. Her hometown is made up of folks who break multiple laws, her parents were pirates, etc. She and A'kihiko understand that people will sometimes do terrible things to survive.

This is especially strong in the cases of Yotsuyu and Fordola. Meiko can feel genuine sympathy for both women upon learning their history. She recognizes that Fordola wants to make amends and agrees with Lyse that her crimes against Ala Mihgo should be paid in service to the country, not a death sentence.

In most cases, Meiko only believes that the 'death penalty' should only be carried out if the villain is out of control. That is, they do not show regret nor are interested in reform. When the world around them is safer only if they are dead, then she'll be the first to offer up to execute someone.

This is the case with both Yotsuyu and with Zenos. Yotsuyu is actually a more sensitive case than Meiko would ever let anyone know because of how the woman was sold into a brothel. Meiko knows that is exactly where she would have ended up if her father's crew hadn't intercepted the ship. Thus, she empathizes with Yotsuyu a lot. Would she have done the same? Could have turned out similar?

Despite this, and perhaps out of a distant respect for her, Meiko would have (if it were her place; she knows it is not) put Yotsuyu to death. She recognizes Yotsuyu's hatred is all that she is. That is more than evident when her amnesia leaves her in a childlike state. Meiko was deeply disturbed by 'Tsuyu' and her mannerisms. It felt, again, like some form of human trafficking to keep her that way. She was relieved at the outcome, although she pitied Yotsuyu and her miserable existence.

When it comes to Zenos, Meiko would also be unable to vote for anything but his execution. The events in canon do not leave any room for Zenos and the WoL to talk. Every time he appears, it is to threaten or murder innocent people in order to get a rise out of them. He does not see an issue with this. He does not show remorse for anyone but himself and his boredom, his loneliness, etc.

Although Meiko can admit that his presence against the Endsinger was helpful, she did not give him acceptance (A'kihiko did) and could only ever treat him as an annoyance. A dangerous annoyance.

If Meiko ever had a chance to simply hear Zenos out, if she could hear him explain why he functions the way that he does... at best, she would want to shake him violently. She would only grow frustrated trying to get him to understand why what he does is wrong. If he agreed to 'repent' for his ill-doings, it would only be for selfish motivations (to fight the Mochikokos again) and not for genuine change. No matter why or how Zenos ended up the way he did, Meiko can only see the world as safer without him.

Skipping back in the timeline again --

Ysayle. Lady Iceheart. Meiko rarely forgives anyone who has threatened her brother so directly, but Ysayle showed genuine regret for her actions from the get-go (in HW). If Ysayle had survived, Meiko would recommend she not return to Ishgard again if she can help it...but to join the Scions as her 'penance' instead. Meiko is also confident that Ysayle would dedicate the rest of her life to doing good deeds to make up for her poor ones.

Gaius! When he was simply the Black Wolf who threatened Eorzea, revived Ultima, and had a weird gaggle of devotees, Meiko had no reason to sympathize with him. He came from Garlemald who thought they knew better than Eorzeans and decided they wanted to conquer them (as far as she knew), so she was all for killing the bastard.

When he returns in Stormblood, circumstances have changed. Like Ysayle, he seeks to undo some of the harm he did. He also does himself a favor by not returning to Garlemald nor Eorzea, instead sticking to Werlyt and trying to heal. Meiko believes he does not intend to return to any wicked conquering, so he can go back to raising his lizard daughter.

Ascians. Oh, you rambly, tragic cloaked little bastards. As the truth around the Ancients comes to light and motivations are revealed, Meiko once again finds herself in the 'I pity you but you need to be stopped' category with Emet-Selch and Elidibus. Even Hermes gets some post-humous empathy! But again: they are threatening her loved ones, so they need to be killed.

This brings up another very good point with Meiko's perspective of villains: She's self-centered and isn't afraid to acknowledge it. She feels for Emet-Selch. She knows that if she were in his shoes (like with Yotsuyu) she would likely do the same. She recognizes he sees himself as the Hero.

But he is threatening a world in which people she loves exists. If it is purely a fight of my world versus yours (and it is), Meiko will be the first to choose her own. She can acknowledge the parallels but will not be guilted or shamed into allowing her loved ones to perish. She will choose people she cares for above all else, every time. Whether it's viewed as heroic or not.

As for Hermes, Meiko pities that man. She pities him for his sadness causing the end of the universe. It was purely an accident. His actions cannot be forgiven, but she knows he truly held no ill will at the start. The lad was just deeply depressed in what was otherwise considered a utopia. It was rought.

Fandaniel, though? Amon? Meiko recognizes that those are elements of Hermes that have gone off the deep end. Like Yotsuyu and Zenos, he is a feral creature who is too single-minded to be reformed. Death was the only option. This is similar to how she views Nidhogg, too. Although she is glad he's gotten attached to Estinien and they seem to be...helping each other, or whatever. She doesn't ask too many questions there.

Meteion -- Meteion gets a pass. Even at her worst as the Endsinger, even after she unmade the Scions, Meiko acknowledges Meteion's unique situation. She is not a hateful creature. She was an innocent child that was corrupted by the darkness she was unknowingly exposed to. She holds no ill will for the entelechy. In fact, she hopes to see her again.

Bonus: Asahi and Athena! Both were simply evil. Meiko refuses to believe anything else. Sorry not sorry, slit their throats and move on. Sometimes you just have some bad eggs. Best to send them back to the aetherial sea and hope they're better in their next lives.