#if this family actually communicated; they might have come to a better compromise

[notmoreflippingelves]

Rewatching "Navidad" and noticing right now that contrary to what I remembered, Esteban wasn't the only one who wanted to celebrate a traditional Nochebuena in the palace with just their family. Francisco did too! This is the very first Navidad since their reunion and Shuriki's defeat. Esteban has been waiting 41 (!) years for this day, and he probably thought it would never come. It must have hurt so much when his wish for a traditional family Navidad was immediately shut down by Elena and Luisa and (albeit a bit more conflictedly by Isabel) or that Francisco's agreement with his idea was disregarded.

It's especially intriguing to me, because ordinarily, you would expect Esteban to be all in on the exciting new Navidad celebrations. He can be stuffy and traditional, sure, but he's also extravagant and loves grand, elaborate parties. In this case, however, he vastly prefers a quieter, more intimate Navidad than something new and elaborate and exciting. He doesn't want fireworks or or parades or massive parties; all he wants is simple quality time with the family he spent four decades longing to somehow see again.

To borrow a few lyrics from "Let Love Light the Way," Esteban needs "nothing more than those [he] adore[s]" over the holiday. And it must rankle him so much to receive the seeming confirmation that this isn't enough for the others-- and I feel it could lend itself to the inevitable conclusion that he himself isn't "enough" for the others.

Personally, I feel like Francisco's desire to have their quiet, private Nochebuena celebration comes from a slightly different place than Esteban's. He's naturally a more traditional, reserved person, so he would always prefer simple quality time with his family than a grand function. Additionally, he did not perceive any time passing during the past 41 years, as Esteban did. So this particular Navidad would have less strong of a meaning to him as it did to his grandson who was all alone for four decades. I also do not think he would be fully aware of what this end of the Dark Times means to his grandson. But unlike the others, Francisco does seem to be genuinely trying to understand what Esteban is thinking and feeling.

And even knowing that Francisco can and will never fully understand, Esteban must have felt a little tiny spark of recognition and validation when Francisco too wanted to resume their regular Navidad traditions. These--and by extension, Esteban himself--may not have been "good enough" for Luisa or Elena. But for Francisco, the traditions were more than merely "good enough," they were his first choice.

[milliesaxe]

blitz saying he does NOT want to fuck after ozzie’s might be my favorite blitz moment in the whole show because this is a man whose relationship with sex is… kind of a mess.

he uses it as currency a lot, which could, in theory, be fine, except he’s been shown to be terrible at casual and transactional sex? some of his greatest hits feature him self-destructing at bee’s party, fucking chaz as an emotional replacement for heartfelt communication and closeness to m&m (and he looks frankly terrible and disconnected right after), or agreeing to sleep with stolas for access to the grimoire. and we all know blitz and stolas are idiots who become emotionally compromised by each other almost immediately after a single night of sex.

the most successful of these ventures (trying to get the bouncer at ozzie’s to let him in or playing along with striker’s seduction in the harvest moon festival) never actually move past flirting and into sex.

blitz thinks of sex as a ‘safe’ thing in comparison to emotional vulnerability. it’s something he’s good at the way he’s good at shooting guns. because of this, he turns every single non-familial relationship in his life towards sex. he can hug fizz after they make up but right on the heels of that he’s breaking the moment with ‘can we make out right now?’ it takes a drug induced nightmare trip before he can talk to moxxie about how much he appreciates him… wouldn’t it be so much easier to just be a voyeur of m&m’s sex life?

isn’t that closeness if he pretends hard enough, the kind of closeness that comes without all the awfulness being vulnerable with another person could potentially bring?

reaching his breaking point—which he wouldn’t have without the ghosts of relationships’ past (fizz, verosika) coming out of the woodwork to slam him and this being witnessed by stolas (current non-relationship relationship)—is him being unable to hold the defensive shell he carries around himself one iota longer. Dropping it means being able to look someone he cares about in the eye and saying ‘sex is not enough on its own for me. sex, in this way, might actually be damaging for me.’

not necessarily pertinent to the point of this post, but: the someone he tells this to listens. there is a positive outcome for blitz when he does engage in the act of emotional vulnerability that he’s been so successful in avoiding with, well, sex. it’s also very clear that stolas understands him better after he opens up this way.

[justbookscatsandtea]

I got the feeling that people hate the arc in the mortal world where Yan Dan pushes Tang Zhou away after regaining her memories. But I have to say that I actually really liked that part ... I mean it was heartbreaking and I was somewhat frustrated but I also feel like it was necessary and beneficial for them in the long run.

After first regaining her memories, she was understandably upset because Ying Yuan did everything in his power to make her hate him so that she may have a future. She doesn't know that and her feelings of betrayal are valid (I do not blame Ying Yuan for his actions either. He had an abundance of horrible and worse options and tried to make the best choices. It might have been better if he and Yan Dan communicated more but I feel he was the only one who really grasped the enormity of the situation - that there was no way Yan Dan would have survived if he so much as hinted at caring for her - the emperor was on his case already). Anyway she feels betrayed and doesn't want to be with a man who could never love her (as he made her think) and could definitely never choose her. So pushing him away was her wish to save herself from future heartbreak. It also gave her time to come to terms with her feelings and to find out what really happened back then (like with the butterfly of hate but actually love).

Then comes the iteration where Tang Zhou does the unthinkable: he decides to choose her over his sect, over his martial arts, over everything that held importance in his life. I think that it did help her heal and see that duty is not more important to him than love. (Funnily enough I have the Barbie and the Pauper quote stucknin my head because of this show: duty is doing the things your heart might well regret. It just fits them so beautifully because honestly the duty of the Sovereign Lord alnost broke them both)

But then comes the most important part for her I believe - what she did not even manage to do in the heavenly realm as isolated as she was from the world up there: she understood what Ying Yuan meant to the world. That all her friends, her family, the people she loved needed Tang Zhou to become the Sovereign Lord again. He can choose his duty over her because the sect will be FINE. Sure they needed some help establishing themselves but ultimately they did not need Tang Zhou to lead them. The stakes were pretty much non-existent. This is not true for the world where a conspiracy 11 000 years in the making has already seen ENTIRE REALMS DESTROYED. He IS the powerhouse of the heavenly realm, the only one who can make things right. That is also the compromise they make at the end after all. AFTER fulfilling his duty and saving the world, he will leave for the mortal realm and they can be together. When the world is save to live in once again. And she needed to get to the point where she sacrificed the second part of her heart not only for love. The first half was mainly out of her love for him. Sure she thought that the heavenly realm might need him but the reasons where far more personal. Now she also knows that he NEEDS to be up there and make things right. In the end he sacrificed himself for duty and love for he had already hurt her with the demonic powers he cannot control and she choses to share his destiny which enabled them later on to be reborn together.

Another minor point is that she basically turned the Uno reverse card on him: now she will push him away for his own good. I think a part of her doesn't want him to choose between the world and herself again because it is at the end a cruel choice that will tear him apart no matter what. And she loves him too much to do that hence the compromise later on.

[the-s1lly-corner]

It is I! 🎤

And I have a request this time around, Sir Silly!

I know its unorthodox... nontraditional... but could I pretty please ask for the fluff alphabet with Rose Wood? Not for myself, really... I simply want to know her better! Feel free to turn this down, I never thought I'd be asking proper requests but here I am.. expect your inbox to get nuked with questions soon 🤍

Fluff alphabet but it's with the silly oc (Rose Wood)

not applying this to my regular posts soooo... youre getting all the letters here and im not going to bother with the queue- notes: oc posting, hooray! oc x canon stuff but there will be the use of "you" and "your" as if it were a normal x reader post... admin feels too cringe to fully lean into the canon aspect rn LMAO cws: edit

ATTRACTION

Meshes well with someone who is very passionate; because Rose herself is very passionate when it comes to her interests and the people around her. It also keeps things from getting too boring or stale. I... actually haven't thought much about what her type would be LMAO

BONDING

Nearly anything and everything is an option when it comes to spending time together. Want to her to pick something, though? She spends a lot of her time baking or spending time outside, she's more than willing to have you join her when she's doing her personal projects or out running an errand! really enjoys the extra person to talk to!

CUDDLING

loves being big spoon, will be little spoon if you ask though! chumby... soft and warm. Her clothes are very comfortable too, and her hair is soft. generally a nice cuddle buddy, smells nice too! very physically affectionate so getting her down to snuggle doesnt take much

DATES

again, shes not very picky when it comes to going out and doing something with you so long as both sides are comfortable and happy! she doesnt do well with actives that may strain the body or anything thats too heavy, she's prone to soreness and just generally aching :(

loves surprise dates, giving and receiving!

EMOTION

very emotional, very passionate. if theres anything going on; argument or youre both getting into your feelings, shes putting her entire being into it.. the only time she really holds back is if someone needs to be responsible in the moment to get everything under control or to focus on you if you're upset as well. shes sweet but she does have some pent up emotions so they might slip out in moments of heat

asides from swallowing up her annoyance and anger until she cant anymore, shes fairly open about how shes feeling and she mostly communicates her emotions well

FAMILY

she already has a son and shes satisfied with just having him, though she will step up if you yourself have children of your own. s tier step mom, love her! having more bio children is unlikely

GIFT GIVING

loves making home made gifts for people, especially for her partner! from crafts to baked goods, shes going to make sure youre loved and that your interests are heard. leaves small notes for you as well

poor girl she doesnt actually know how to receive gifts. and thats on always being the giver in relationships.. she will accept anything you give her and put on a smile but internally shes turning everything over. shes getting better, but its hard for her to accept anything unless she did something to deserve it

HARSH

she'd much rather try to find a compromise than to argue with you. obviously arguments are still going to happen, but she tries her best to calm and diffuse it before either side says something theyre going to regret later

INJURY

shes raised a kid, and works at a school. shes seen more than her fair share of scrapes and bruises, and shes endured some injuries herself throughout her life. on top of this she has taken first aid classes. collected, shes not going to freak out and shes going to do her best to calm you down and tend to you to the best of her ability

on the flip side shes the same when shes the injured one, she might attempt to tend to her own wounds. unless she physically cant, she WILL drive herself to the hospital

JEALOUSY

shes confident, doesnt let those kinds of feelings get to her and unless you give her a reason to doubt you... well you two simply wouldnt be together. her previous relationship ended because her ex was unfaithful, and shes got no tolerance for that sort of behavior

obviously its different if your not reciprocating, in which case she steps in before it can escalate too far. removes you from the situation if youre uncomfortable, doesnt cause a scene because she doesnt want to make you feel worse

KISS

cheek kisses are her go to! forehead kisses as well! its not like she doesnt enjoy kisses on the mouth, its just that cheek kisses feel sweeter. she likes getting kisses on the cheek, as well!

LOVE LANGUAGE

love language is gift giving and words of affirmation, thats how she shows her love! as previously mentioned shes also very physically affectionate, usually sneaks in a kiss or a quick hug if you allow it... also leans into acts of service!

she feels loved when you spend time with her or do acts of service for her! its easier for her to accept acts of service than gifts because at least she can justify it as "a small favor"

MARRAIGE

she doesnt want to rush into marrying someone, she wants to take her time. reason for this being her previous relationship was quick to speed into marriage, and that one ended.. not good. she does think it can work, but its not something she wants to do for herself

she is interested in it, but shes also content if it never happens

NO

havent thought about this one either... it feels so basic but dont go sneaking around, dont lie to her face because if she finds out it can put the relationship on the rocks FAST

ODDITY

vocal stims, though thats not a bad thing at all! she has a habit of messing with anything thats on her hands; jewelry, gloves, ect ect as well as messing with her hair

PET NAMES

she calls you "Dear" "Sweetheart" "Hon"

she likes being called... really anything, because you picked it! as long as youre not calling her something vulgar shes going to accept it

LOVES "stupid" petnames like shnookums or something in that ballpark

QUESTION

she asks you a lot of questions, ranging from checking in on you to questions about the future. she doesnt need a lot of reassurance so questions like that dont come often

RISK

shes willing to put a lot on the line for you, but shes not going to rush in without thinking things through and making a plan. even if its not something as serious as you being snatched by some villain or whatever, shes going to make a plan first. not the type to turn her back on someone

SHH

she has some personal stuff that she wants to keep to herself, and she has some personal stuff that she will tell you with time and trust. she lets you keep your privacy, because she trusts you. healthy relationship stuff

TUNES

usually i make a whole playlist for these but im too eepy to do so today sooooo

songs that remind me of her/songs that i think she would listen to

UPSET

rose tends to separate herself when shes upset about something, being alone to let her mind clear helps her especially if shes feeling overwhelmed. she will approach you when shes ready/needs you

listens to you when youre upset and follows whatever you tell her what you need. need some space? shes going to give it to you. takes the time to make your favorite meal or snack so you have something to look forward to when youre feeling better. need a hug? shes already leaning in! need someone to vent to? shes all ears. very open and understanding but she does offer advice if she can

VALENTINES

you already know what im going to say!! she makes something for you! loves making handmade stuff, prefers it over going out and buying you something thats already been made. nothing wrong with that, she doesnt mind if you do that just as long as you show some effort!

you two probably end up going out for the night on valentines !!

WARRIOR

if she were fighting for something, she wouldnt mind having you by her side. buuuuut considering she doesnt fight anyone or does anything like that, theres nothing and no one for you to fight

XRAY

pretty good at reading people, years spent as a mediator for multiple groups made it a second nature for her. she does her best to match your energy on something!

YEARN

she copes well enough with separation; shes not going to be outwardly upset about your absence... not going to beeline to you when you return... at least not immediately, if youve been traveling or doing work she wants you to have a moment to rest before you get smothered

ZZZ

doesnt toss and turn that much in her sleep, but she does make noises.. snoring, sleep talking, and so on... she has a bit of a before bed ritual but she makes sure it doesnt interfere with your own or keep you awake

early bird, she wakes up very early

<3

moderate amount of PDA, shes not going to be all over you and she doesnt want you to be doing that in the presence of others. but handholding is more than okay with her, as well as the more tame petnames you call each other

[pjstafford]

Old Lady Rant

There so many truly horrific things about this time in the timeline we are living that I find myself inept to wrap my head around any of them. Because I'm ignoring my feelings about the truly horrible things, I am more often annoyed and, yet, objectively, there are more annoying things happening now as well. So here are top five seconds level concerns. Not the worries, but annoying for this week.

Annoying Things

1. The newest scam of emails claiming to be from one of your social media sights and telling you that your account has been compromised. They come with a link to reset. You enter information, and most of us use similar passwords over several sites, and now you've given away that information. I, of course, always checks the email addresses, but they have become better addresses- similar to actual emails. And even if you ignore them you end up with these nagging thoughts wondering if your accounts were actually compromised. Even if you avoid the scam, these emails create a slight hum of anxiety.

2. Fake social media accounts claiming to be celebrities. I made my Instagram private and I have five David Duchovny's request to follow me today. It's better with the account being private but for a while I felt really targeted. Again, that slight hum of background anxiety from using the app.

3. The Twitter/ X situation. When Musk took over and people starting leaving, I feared I would lose my community on this platform. I blogged about it at the time as kind of when an earthquake, Tsunami or something like that destroys your community. My closest group of friends dug in and are still there, but...people today aren't announcing they are leaving, they just stop engaging very often and check in less often. It's less like a Tsunami and more like a gradual decline and slide into irrelevancy. It's a shame. This might be more than annoyance. This might be a sort of grief.

4. There are like 12 cannabis shops in a two mile radius around my apartment. I support recreational cannabis. I indulge. BUT...I don't understand how they are not competing each other out of business and I kind of wish for more variety in walkable businesses near me.

5. I really am sad that the larger WE missed such a great opportunity to learn from the pandemic shut down. I know the pandemic was horrible, BUT...we learned that less human traffick meant environmental improvements, that many positions are done more efficiently remotely, and that there is opportunity for entertainment, education and social connections remotely, Also, do we remember what we missed? Are we appreciating the hug between family members who don't live in the same household, really savoring the random conversation with a stranger, that we are sitting in a movie theater,? Where is the reverence for the simple in person joy? It's like we all just collectively shrugged and said "ok. That happened Next.". To some degree I get it because the things that really worry me needs attending to NOW. Not that they are being attended to....But let's talk about that level of worries on another day.

[shirleywirleyyy]

Mars in Leo May 20 - July 20 Transit 2023

Aries ♂ in Leo will brigten ur life u gonna have more fun it’s gonna have u dancing actively! dating for some of u. You gonna feel lively and motivated to act on what u want. It will help u with ur habits some of u cut off bad habits. Working on new studies/hobbies gonna have u up at night. You can be going to parties or events new ideas can come to u during this time don’t rush through it right way. U can also exhaust urself playing too much. Spend time with ur kids

Taurus ♂ in Leo gonna have u emotional 🥲 or even pushy at 🏡. U can pick up conflict with others depends on ur sun energy. Some are in the action of moving or purchasing 🏡/ 🚗 or even family events, could be constant battle for this. working on ur gut! Ur partners can have lots on their plate some of u are focused on them. if u trying to acquire a job or business theres is where the leg work comes. By the end of the transit u can scratch off one of ur goals of ur bucket list if ur hearts it’s in on it. There can be endings of relationships with friends. It can also make u stay at home a lot.

Gemini ♂ in Leo will have ur mind sharp this is probably ur funniest time of the year. You can have more critical thinking during this time get through difficult task. Watch wat u say the words u using it can change the way people look at u for better or worse. This is great for creative projects. In career interactions with supervisors can change. U might change ur style by the end of this. It can make u post a lot on social media go for drives for no reason.

Cancer ♂ in Leo can bring u more income 💰 . As well as Insecurities about ur appearance 😆 u make some changes. U can splurge on wat makes u happy like food clothes or trips. Get a facial. Watch how ur tone comes of when u speak 🗣️. It can go from family projects to difficult moments with elders. This is a good time to ask for advice u will find them answer just pace ur self. It acquire assets stability during this time.

Leo ♂ it’s gonna have u active physically. You will be full of energy it’s gonna make start Organizing ur house ! cooking 🍳 more at home by the end u can hopefully get out some debt!. Ur intimacy levels are changing for ur partners. Be patient with everyone compromise with others. There’s pending change in attitude or routine it depends on you what u do with mars it rules ur dharma so if u feel a calling during this time do it.

Virgo ♂ in leo can cost u some 💰. It can also cost ur sleeping 😴 cycle it suppose to be a time u rest ur mind. Working on important paperwork or applying ur mind hopefully on something productive instead of scrolling through social media. Some of u cut off access to a relationship. Working on projects with siblings or even communicating again with them. You’re hyper aware of others and their intentions u may find out information ℹ️ of others u didn’t know of during this transits. This information can be for u own self development. U may not want confrontation but u may find urself there anyways. Take this time off for leisure relax.

Libra ♂ in Leo is gonna have u taking control of ur finances or what u find valuable like our time. Make the most of this transit u can find gains or u can achieve a goal that u wanted! u will have the opportunities to win 🥇 in anything u work during this transit. From job interviews things that help u level up ur status. U can get noticed during this time connect with the right people. Don’t forget tho that ur schedule can change, health situations can come during this time but u will get to solve these problems bills.

Scorpio ♂ in Leo working on ur looks cutting ur hair off take some time for u. Many changes in ur work place or ur environment. If u are in ur own business looking for more clients this is good time. Putting ur efforts on to urself taking care of ur body or working out 🏋️‍♀️ will actually help u find solutions. Some of u maybe have to take some time off from school or work it’s a lot of pressure u need come back to it with a different mindset. Work on projects with ur children or Actively change what u do for fun..

Sagittarius ♂ in Leo is gonna make get into discovery mode ur also actively changing ur lifestyle it’s time to think more of u. Mars will change ur sleep 🛌 pattern or change ur sheets 😆. This great time to speak ur mind but remember You can sound opinionated or judgmental during this time. Go on mini trips with lovers or for leisure. U can make some big changes at home starting soon. U need to focus on ur expenses controlling what’s coming out of ur household.

Capricorn ♂ in Leo is gonna u help u connect again with friends or ur loved ones heck u could have been isolated now u got back into action. U should still move secretly with ur moves. Ur financial situation can be pulling u all kinds of angle 📐 ur dipping into savings investing into a new idea hopefully 🙏 brings gains yet Changing ur interaction with ur clients can boost doors for u. By the end of this transit there will be a new source of income. U can also be good at researching during this time. Ur social media changes u are constantly putting ur name out there.

Aquarius ♒︎♂ in Leo is gonna make u say what u need to say to ur everyone lol! Ur interactions with everyone are bold or aggressive lately or u want more spark ⚡️ . Ur actively working on ur 👀 looks and where u going next for career moves. It will for sure change some contract of finances by the end of the transit. U too can benefit from getting advice in business moves. New fitness or diet plans for u. One of ur assets or resources change as well as ur interactions with family.

Pisces ♓︎ ♂ in Leo wants u to focus on ur health or how the world sees ur character this might be the first development of ur personality change in which Saturn is helping u slowly change. Mars is trying to help u sort out ur problems in ur life. This Mars in Leo it’s requiring u to work a little more this time to achieve something unique. There can be surgery or procedure during this transit for some. U get on top of important matters legally.

#Aries #taurus #cancer #gemini #leo #virgo #libra #scorpio #sagittarius #capricorn #Aquarius #pisces #astrology #sidereal #tropicalastrology #transit #natalchart #mars #viral #explorepage #vedicastrology #planetsb

[hoghtastic]

We have just addressed his glow down and then he changes his profile picture to a simple selfie. The previous picture was so sexy and confident. Actually, he has always had a good feeling for aesthetics so far and has always made a good selection at least so far. Kind of strange. Maybe she cheered on him and told him to when he asked because he posted her fam and her fam on the day. Maybe it’s their way of romanticizing their relationship?

On another note: I have the feeling that he hides more and more behind others (Johanne) and makes himself less and less important and smaller. When asked about an Ivar memorabilia corner at the convention, he said he should and smiled but then immediately brought up Johanne as the one who is in charge and made her the one that wouldn’t allow it. He pretended like he isn’t into these things and not good at them and she’s the one who is and showed us how for sure she would say no to him, not allow it. But when he bought his apartment he gave several interviews talking about renovating and decorating his apartment and how much fun he had. He gave us details about colors and about techniques. And I think he did a very good job when it comes to his interior design!!! He followed a lot bunch of interior accounts and aesthetic special furniture brands.Or how he stays silent about how much he does for her podcast. You might say he never put himself first or made himself big but I currently feel like it’s just become more and more and more extreme. He hides himself behind this relationship for sure. Which is why most of his content is about their relationship too and hardly anything about him.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this, anon. 😊 I think you've made some valid and interesting observations.

About him changing his profile picture, and taking into account its timing, I agree that he was either encouraged to do it (maybe Johanne told him she really liked that picture?) or yesterday's family outing actually felt important to him and he felt like using that particular picture. I'm sure he had his reasons, and it's his IG after all, but in my opinion, it wasn't his best decision. First, because I'm sure he has plenty of better pictures/selfies to choose from, and second, it doesn't give his profile a very professional look. But maybe he wants to portray himself in a more relaxed light from now on? 🤷‍♀️

About the second part of your ask, I totally agree that he did an amazing job renovating and decorating his apartment, and from what he shared, it seemed like he had a lot of fun doing so with his friends! I believe that when he said that "his girlfriend wouldn't allow it" he was most likely joking/trying to be funny. Otherwise, he should keep in mind that, even if she has moved in now, this was his place even before her, and he shouldn't allow other people that much control over his own home, or his own life, for that matter. I'm an apologist for communicating and compromising when one shares their life with a partner, and important decisions should be discussed, but it should never come to a point where one is "allowing" things and the other simply obeys. That's unbalanced and unhealthy, in my opinion. It seems to me that Alex is very altruistic and may be lacking self-esteem, which could explain why he's been happily helping her achieving her career goals, while he appears to be more in the background. Which is why I'd love for him to have more new and exciting projects, where he could show others and, above all, himself, that he's really talented and capable of so much more. Like the "main character" he really is and always has been, instead of a cute "sidekick" in Johanne's story, which is the impression they've been giving (at least from my perspective) for the last year. 😅

[bfxenon]

How SEOs and UX Designers Can Work Better Together — Whiteboard Friday

This is the final installment of the three-part series of Whiteboard Fridays with Helen Pollitt on how to work better with folks within your company.

There are a lot of similarities between SEOs and UX designers, and we often have the same goals. How can we work to understand more of the UX designers' priorities and help to communicate our priorities to them? Learn all about how SEOs and UX designers can work better together in this edition of Whiteboard Friday.

Click on the whiteboard image above to open a high resolution version in a new tab!

Video Transcription

Hi, I'm Helen, head of SEO at Car & Classic, and today we are looking at how SEOs and UX designers can work better together. Now, UX designers are a lot like SEOs. No one in the office quite understands their specialism. No one really knows whether they should be in the engineering department, the product team, the marketing team, and they too have probably given up trying to explain their jobs to their family members.

So if there's a lot of similarities between SEO and UX designers, why do we need to have a Whiteboard Friday on how to work better with them? Well, on first blush, actually there's a lot of places that SEO and UX actually overlaps, but oftentimes we're kind of in disagreement about how things should progress. You have spent days looking at the best links to have on your top menu navigation, you have carefully sculpted the pages that should be linked to from that great source of links, and then the UX designer comes to the meeting and asks to cut their menu in half.

You're there terrified about your internal link equity, and they're there terrified that none of the users can ever find the stuff that they're looking for on your website. But actually, oftentimes we have the same end goal. We want visitors to get to the website and be able to access the pages and the products and the stuff that's on that site well and enjoy the process of being there.

So actually, our end goals are fairly similar. So how can we work to understand more of the UX designers' priorities and help to communicate our priorities to them?

Understand UX and design principles

Well, first off, I would suggest we need to start by understanding some UX and design principles. Get familiar with things like visual hierarchy and context and understand what it is that UX designers are looking to do when they are making changes to the website.

If you do that and upskill yourself, then you are going to find you understand where they're coming from a lot more, and that's going to help you to communicate the reasons why something could be a great idea from an SEO perspective and then find the compromises when it's not going to be. Also, talk to them, get their wish lists of things that they want to see happen on the website. Now, this is easier to do if you work in-house because you can just go and talk to your UX designers.

If you work freelance or for an agency, it's a bit harder to do. But if you go and ask your client if you can spend a day with their UX design team, you're probably going to win a lot of favors from them, and it could be a day out of the office, so win-win. But when you've got an idea of what their wish list is, all the stuff that they would love to see happen to the website, you are better equipped to then tell them about things like issues and problems that there might be.

So for example, if the UX designer says that they want to take your 20,000 product e-commerce store and distill it down to a single web page, you can tell them why that might be an issue, and if it goes ahead, well, at least the redirect mapping will be simple. You also should get yourself involved in the kind of conversations that your UX designers are having. So go to the meetings that they're in.

Get involved in product team decisions, so that you are there when these kind of things are first being suggested and talked about. So if there is anyone talking about the possibility of changing your website and making it into a single web page, you can be there saying, "Actually, that's probably not the best idea," before the plans and things that get set into motion are too far along.

Train your UX team in SEO

Next, you want to look at training your UX team.

So this is really important because you want to make sure that the UX team understands SEO principles as well as you understanding UX principles. So talk about things like navigation elements. Why are they important to SEO? What are the risks associated with them removing things from the navigation? What is link mapping? What is it all about the hierarchy of the website?

Try to explain to them these concepts so they understand why you might be saying no to some of their recommendations, and again, you can try to compromise and find a solution. That goes for links in general. Actually, the way that the UX team might want to implement a link and make it work could be great for users, it might look great, but it could have some underlying SEO issues with it. So talk about what SEO needs from links, what makes a link SEO friendly and allows the bots to crawl it, so that the UX team can make decisions and recommendations based on that data.

Talk to them about things like Core Web Vitals and actually the overlap between what we're looking for from an SEO perspective and actually what they want for users, because a lot of the time that's quite aligned. So for example, explain how having a banner load in after the rest of the page is loaded could be a problem for cumulative layout shift, and tell them that scrolling banners are always a bad idea, not necessarily because they're any worse from an SEO perspective, but they just look terrible, and I'd like them to just stop if they could.

Talk to them about things like copy and why we do need copy on a page. We don't need copy on every page because not every page is important from an SEO perspective, but for those that are, we do need to have copy. But that doesn't mean we have to have reams and reams of copy that a user has to scroll through on their mobile before they actually get to the list of products that you sell. That there are ways that we can implement copy on a page that's a lot more friendly for users.

So we can look at things like tabs or concertinas, things that reveal the copy when an interaction is made. That means that users aren't having to look at all of the history of somebody's recipe and why it was that they decided to bake an apple crumble because of their grandmother and how their grandmother loved apples and that it fell from an apple tree, and you know all the kind of good stuff that you always have to scroll through when you're just trying to find a simple recipe on these recipe websites.

You don't have to do that in order for SEO to be considered for that page. You can look at things like teaching them about the risks of them making a change to a website. So yes, okay, maybe we do want to redesign the nav. But what do we need to do as SEOs? What do we need to understand before we can say, "Yeah, let's do it"? So talk to them about the risks involved with them making simple changes.

For them, they might think that just changing the wording on a button won't have any impact, but for us, we know that anchor text does have some importance. So how can we educate our UX designers so they understand that when they're making changes, some of them will need to be run past the SEO team first? Finally, why are we always going on about designing things mobile first? Explain that to your team so they understand why you really need to see how things are going to look on a mobile design as well as a desktop, because actually we need to see if there's parity between the two.

We need to see whether the mobile version of the website has everything that it needs for Google to understand the context and the relevancy of the page. That's really important, but it's not always something that the UX team have had communicated to them. So make sure you do that.

Create guidelines for your UX team

Next, try to create some guidelines for your UX team. So rather than continually telling them all these things, perhaps you can actually document it so they have a source to go back to.

Look at how they manage to document their own internal design decisions. So if they have a way of doing things, how do they document it? Is it in a central workspace? Or do they have some guidelines that they actually send out to every member of the team? How do they document them? See if you can start copying that method and making sure your UX designers are familiar with the ways that you need things to happen on the website for SEO reasons.

Also, maybe you can input on their design system because most websites will have a set way of doing things from a design perspective, and some of those might have some SEO impacts, things like links and buttons and that kind of stuff. So can you actually have a say in the design system that's been created for the website?

Get buy-in from your UX designers

Lastly, you want to get buy-in from your UX designers so that they enjoy working with you and they look forward to hearing your recommendations and thoughts, and they don't constantly see you as a source of no.

So show them where SEO helps UX. So things like usability, load speed, how actually if a search engine is able to get through your website, well, it probably means a user is able to get through the web website well as well. So you're helping the UX end goal by making sure that SEO is incorporated into those kind of decisions. Talk to them about the importance of conversion rate for SEO.

That actually, we don't just want to see traffic land on a web page and we don't care where it goes after that. We are just as concerned about how users use a website as they are. We want to make sure that they are able to complete the goals on the website, that they can buy the product, that they can find the information, because that's essentially why we've driven traffic to that page in the first place. So do try and reinforce that you and your UX team have got very similar goals.

Finally, give them access to data and try and share some of the data that they have as well, because they will be monitoring things. They'll be looking at stuff that we just don't have the software to monitor. So can you share data with each other that helps both sides understand a little bit more about what's going on? Thank you so much for listening.

I'm going to go off and try to find a way of explaining my job to my family members, and hopefully I can tell that to the UX team as well.

Video transcription by Speechpad.com

[primalspice]

Leslie: A1, A5, A9, A14, A20, B2, B7, B9, B15, C2, C5, C8, D2, E3, E4, E8, F2, F7, F10, G3, G4, H4, H5, I1, I5, J1, J4, J8, L3, L4

Leslie

A1: What of the Meyers-Briggs personality types they most fit into? INFP, ENFT, et cetera…

INTJ apparently. i'm not 100% certain on that but pretty sexy of her if true.

A5: Are they good at handling change in their life?

she'd say 'Yes Absolutely' and be somewhat correct about it since she's had such a life full of changes, but i think she takes the unexpected changes pretty hard. she's adaptable n all but she's gonna be pissed off about it the whole time. especially if the change is a certain SOMEONE being completely irrational and unhelpful when theres SHIT TO DO.

A9: Does your OC make a lot of excuses? For themselves? Others? 

She'd be more likely to come up with an excuse for herself before someone else, but generally speaking she doesn't do much of that at all. More like an explanation than anything. Big believer in taking responsibility for one's actions <3

A14: Is your character empathetic?

Not at all but that is ok :)

A20: Are they harsh on themselves?

Yes but in the same way I mentioned Selma being in that she's like 'i'm doing everything right so why is everything so wrong'. plus there's the added pressure of coming from a semi-famous family. I think she's the only person who actually really cares about that, but she does very much feel the need to make a better reputation for herself because of it.

B2: Do they get frustrated when lines at places like pharmacies, check-outs, delis, banks, et cetera, are moving slowly?

yes and she doesnt care about how leftist unionizing justice slay it Isn't. hurry the fuck UP.

B7: How do they respond to babies crying in public?

shut that baby the fuck UP.

B9: What kind of humor does your OC like the most? Slapstick, ironic, funny sounds, scare pranks, xD sO rAnDoM…

Definitely into dry humor, sometimes bordering on mean humor LOL on the flipside she'd probably also chuckle and say so true to work/leftism related classic impact font memes tho if she were alive today bcz she is like 45 years old.

B15: Does your OC enjoy social events, such as parties, clubs, et cetera..?

she doesnt LOVE them she'd much rather be at a smaller gathering of friends than a whole event, but she goes anyway bcz Collaboration And Community Is Important or whatever. she can appreciate bigger gatherings for that purpose. bonus points if there's alcohol or something....

C2: Would your OC feel bad if they acted against their morals? If not, would they find a way to excuse themselves for it?

Yea she'd feel bad about it. She might look for an excuse, but more like an explanation for herself since she so rarely does such a thing.

C5: Do your OC’s morals and rules of common decency go out the window when it comes to those they don’t like, or when it’s inconvenient? Aka, are their morals situational?

she can get real mean but I don't think her morals ever included not being mean <3 in fact, she sticks to what she thinks is right even if it requires being mean in the process (or when someone is challenging her, being mean to her, etc). she simply does not have the time to worry about compromising for people.

C8: Is your OC more practical or ideal morally? I.e., do they hold people to high expectations of behavior even if it’s not realistic for the situation, or do they have a more realistic approach and adapt their morality to be more practical?

definitely ideal. out of the ivy/leslie/selma trio she probably has the highest expectations on others. not that her politics are especially more radical or anything, she's just very uncompromising. a lot of it comes from the expectations she has for herself after leaving her family's legacy n all. a "if i can do it then you DEFINITELY can do it, stop making excuses" approach. sometimes a "well i wouldve done it THIS way and ur just a dumbass" approach. it's unrealistic and unsympathetic but SOMEONES gotta do it.

D2: Do they believe in an afterlife?

Nah but it's not rlly a popular belief around here anyway. It'd probably make things a little easier on her if she did :/

E3: How many languages do they speak?

Just English

E4: Did they enjoy school if they went to it?

Yea i mean she enjoyed going and she excelled at it, her only hangup was/is the political implications of being like the third generation of famous military doctor family, being taught by your famous military doctor parents at your family owned military doctor school....as someone who is staunchly anti-military LOL. Otherwise tho she really enjoyed having a chance to do the more abstract/research side of things instead of hands-on. odd for a surgeon who's entire job is built on being hands-on but sure.

E8: What’s one of your OC’s biggest regrets?

her biggest regret is not having the intuition to be at ivy's office on the day of the Killing and Maiming. NO she could not have realistically been there even if she wanted to, YES it still makes her mad.

F2: What’s their ideal home look like? Where is it?

Her ideal home would be somewhere completely foreign to Region Zero. maybe somewhere warm. it'd be just big enough to live comfortably and it wouldn't be surrounded by toxic sludge. the bar is pretty low. she'd live with ivy and selma again too if she could :/

F7: What’s their “dream career” or job situation?

surgeon who researches and only performs surgeries that interest her instead of 20 tumor debulkings per day. or if its not allowed to be doctor-related, commie zine writer. yea she contributed too.

F10: Do they engage in any of the arts? How good do you intend them to be? Would they agree they are?

art of collab commie zines. she probably only really writes data reports (in laymans terms ofc) and maybe some autobiographical stuff so its not particularly the most artistic thing, but she's ok at it. she doesn't think shes very good at it but I think she gets the job done.

G3: Does your OC find their family supportive? If not, what would be an example why not?

they were supportive before she disowned them LOL she should probably give them a little more credit considering she wouldn't be where she is now without them, but fuck those ppl 😤 she was a grown adult tho, so everyone just kinda said what the fuck is wrong with u and left her alone after that. it was explosive for like a month bcz of the betrayal of it all (she was ok with this she'd been holding the cuntyness inside for like 30 years) but they just dont talk anymore it is like she never existed to them.

G4: What kind of childhood did your OC have?

privileged and bougie LOL aforementioned family were government/military affiliated doctors that founded their own medical school at the Conception of the region. so shes always been quite rich and well-educated. luckily she never got sick of the doctor thing either, shes been training since BIRTH. I'm sure she took part in whatever sort of extracurriculars they present for a bougie little child.

H4: Does your OC believe in love in first sight?

not particularly, i think shes a little more practical about it.

H5: Does your OC believe in marriage (or their culture’s equivalent)?

the contrarian in her says NO thats SILLY but i mean. she would partake if asked *blushes*

I1: What are their favorite kinds of flavors– Sweet, salty, sour, spicy, creamy, et cetera?

she strikes me as someone with absolutely offensive taste in foods. region zero genetically modified spicy pepper. region zero moonshine. sweet+sour combinations that absolutely should not go together but she acts like its normal. she'd probably enjoy those blue takis or spicy mountain dew or peeps pepsi if she lived here today. that combined with the cigarettes truly cannot be good for her intestines but shes still kickin.

I5: Are they a good cook?

See Above 😬 she can cook but god forbid she do it for anyone but herself.

J1: Where does your OC stand most politically? What would they align with most?

her views are pretty similar to selma's minus the extreme pacifism. its kinda a result of them Collaborating and leftist infighting for so long together. i think she's a little most focused on the health crisis above all but not really by Choice (fuck you selma fuck you selma). Otherwise I think her top concern would be military/gov corruption since that hits pretty close to home. its alllll intertwined tho the priorities dont matter that much.

J4: Is your OC the sort to fall for fake news? If not, do they ignore it or make a point to clarify that it’s wrong?

NO SHES QUITE ANALYTICAL BUT. MAYBE IF IT WAS RLLY GOOD LOL. SHE'D DEFINITELY MAKE A BIG DEAL OF CALLING IT OUT.

J8: In reality-based or applicable worlds, do they believe in global warming? Do they recycle?

shes not as informed on the environmentalism as selma but Absolutely to both

L3: Did you create the character to be like yourself, did they end up being like yourself, or are they very different from you?

she was beamed into my brain with a very specific cunty purpose in mind. i could only dream of having a fraction of her power

L4: Would you hang out with your OC if you could?

i probably wouldnt hang out with her she'd criticize me too hard but i think shes cool.

[glorioustidalwavedefendor]

@jupitermelichios

I am sorry it took so long to answer, wen your answer is always so quick.

My head didn‘t work last week … and you take so much care to answer, that I really want to give it my full attention <3

It is really fun to read your answer :-)

And very interesting.

I want to take my time with it and really enjoy it :-)

And I am honestly sad that I don‘t really have any more big questions … just some tying up of loose ends :-(

SO no more reason to tell me anything … :-(

Btw. I totally understand if you don’t answer anymore … my answer is shamefully over due

Thank you for your time and have a great day/week <3

„I don't mind at all 😊 Glad to put my theology degree to actual use for once!“

I thought you might have studied something like theology … or history with a heavy emphasize on religious history

You talk so effortless about all these very densely packed infirmations

„incidentally, Mary's invasion was called the glorious revolution, a name which is referenced in pratchett's night watch!“

OMG!

I did not know that either

There are so many little nods and jokes that are completely wasted on my … because I just don‘t notice …

Do you have more of those?

“This has improved over time as Anglicanism has grown increasingly into its own identity, but there’s a reason the church is haemorrhaging members right now when more extreme protestant sects are growing, and (imo) a lot of it is that aspect of compromise.”

That is super ironic … considering that the bible says:

So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth.

(This is like the only bible quote I actually know XD and I still had to google it XD)

Like, you know ...they, of all people, should have kind a seen that one coming …

Levellers

I assume the Levellers fall under the general umbrella of protestant?

Or at least they do NOT fall under the general umbrella of high church an catholicism?

I tried to do my own research … but then google gave me words like antinomian and I got scared … ;-) XD

“at the same time as the church is trying to emphasise its unique qualities, the aristocracy are also trying to emphasise their own wealth and power because they’re genuinely terrified they’re going to be overthrown but also they’re all morons, so instead of compromising with the reformers (that does happen a little, with some parliamentary reforms, but not significantly) they think any compromise will be seen as a sign of weakness and instead get real into fancy art and architecture. (Disappointingly, this does kind of work, at least for a while)”

I am not sure I am more angry about the fact that:

the aristocracies answer to: can we please have some fair wages, equal rights and all in all better living conditions

Was to go: Look how rich we are

Or that it worked …

Well maybe I should simply be happy that it isn‘t working this time around …

“for some reason british map makers always coloured empire countries pink”

How adorable … maybe it was just the cheapest color XD

gothic revival

O.K. so the gothic revival was kind a the straw that broke the camels back and drove people away … yeah that makes sense …

“sharing a single room with three other families working 12+ hour days and your kid lost an arm to machinery and you still can’t afford to eat”

The more things change the more they stay the same …

„Which isn’t to say it was a good life, it absolutely sucked in a lot of ways, but the lives of the newly urban poor arguably sucked a lot worse, and this time, there was someone they could blame that on.“

100% agree, not just food being more secure but also if you look at working hours they worked a lot less … I mean if you just take in to account that in winter there is not really that much to do in a farming community … like yeah … stables need to be mucked out … some harvest maintenance … and spinning/weaving … etc … and of course chores … but it is still the more relaxed part of the year …

But in the city?

The machines run year round 24/7 … they don’t care …

The Wee Free men

The Wee Free men being a play on the churches just completely blows my mind … I am still not over it …

Every time I remember it I have to stare in to space for a while … XD

I wonder how much more little nods just went right over my head …

Even L-space didn‘t tell me either of those two things (the glorious revolution and the Wee free men)…

“It had never occurred to me that them thinking they’re already dead might be a reference to the way Calvinists think a person’s life is basically just an extension of their afterlife, but you very well might be right, that's really cool!”

Thank you! <3

That happened by sheer accident XD

broken clock and all that XD

[astroismypassion]

☀️🌞 Sun and houses: where and how we shine the most 🌞☀️

Credit blog: Tumblr blog @astroismypassion

@iamqueen233 asked me the other day in my mailbox if I could write about sun and houses and where, how we shine the most. I thought it was an interesting question so I dedicate a whole post to it! 😘

❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥 Sun in the 1st house ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

You shine the most in doing exercises, workouts, physical activities. When you are just being your unique self, when you embrace your own individuality, personality, traits and encourage others to do the same. When you don’t beat around the bush. When your are tolerant and patient, yet compromising and in tune with other people in the team as well. When you help other people in the group. When you choose to do whatever you feel like doing with your clothing style.

💋💋 Sun in the 2nd house 💋💋

You shine best when you develop some skills, when you know your values, preferences, likes, dislikes. When you have good spending habits. When you share your possession, talents, skills, life experiences with others and teach them your skills.

🗣🗣 Sun in the 3rd house 🗣🗣

You shine the most in elementary and high school, when you read a book, listen to a podcast, learn a new (verbal) skill, language, connect with neighbours. Your posts on social media must be fire! Or you like to shout out for your friends on your social media. This is another placement that really likes group project or work on something with a team of friends.

🐳🐳 Sun in the 4th house 🐳🐳

I dare to say that your close friends, family, relatives would actually describe you as bossy, stubborn and attention loving! Because these people around you are the ones that are most aware of these traits of yours. Again, similar to Sun in the 10th house avoid boss-ing around your friends and family since it might create resentment in them.

💛💛 Sun in the 5th house 💛💛

You shine best in your own free time, working on whatever interest you and that you’re passionate about. Basically when you escape from responsibilities. You shine in sports, hobbies, dealings with children and love affairs. When you channel your creative energies into whatever project or side hustle.

📚📚 Sun in the 6th house 📚📚

The key with this placement is really daily self improvement. You should pick 6 activities that you practise daily and repeat them. The downside here is that you might also get bored with them after 21 days. Then you should pick new 6 activities. But always come back to the old ones and “rotate” them. So that you create a wheel of daily habits that stabilze you, make you feel at ease, that you don’t procrastinate and don’t become too anxious.

💜💜 Sun in the 7th house 💜💜

The lesson for this placement is to become less vain and selfish, but to learn to be compromising with people, yet still emphatise with people individually so understanding them and their needs on one on one personal level. You shine best when you express concern for others, but still have fulfilling relationships based on mutual reciprocation. Honestly you just really like people giving you genuine compliments, but you try to give them back those as well and suddenly you’re not exchanging only compliments, but you’re in a full on romantic partnership.

♥️♥️ Sun in the 8th house ♥️♥️

You shine best when respect your partner’s values, change career often (or when it’s not dull and monotone), when you let go and you’re emotionally responsible. When you take emotional accountability. When you have sexual self control, but also during sex. When you people watch. When you recognise other people’s gift and you express that in a transparent way. Basically when you see talent in others and express that to them. When you are vulnerable.

⛵️⛵️ Sun in the 9th house ⛵️⛵️

When you have cultural exchange with people from the community, when you try to understand abstract ideas and concepts. When you are devoted to a person or a project on a daily basis. When you do something more risky, yet spontaneous. When you dress up for whenever you are travelling somewhere, visit something foreign (restaurant, place, city) or visit something for the first time. When you inspire other with telling your personal life stories and happening and this is how you also connect with other people (great storyteller!). When you understand the collective thought.

⚓️⚓️ Sun in the 10th house ⚓️⚓️

You shine best when you have a quality relationship with your parents, elderly people, your mentors, those that inspire you to so better. When you have a good relationship with your superior and when you are willing to sacrifice yourself for your OWN self mastery. It’s very important for you to have a good relationship with your mother. You naturally attract recognition from authorities or in the public community. You could be good in politics or voicing your opinion in a public standing. You are attention when you are respectful of others. Authority figures naturally gravitate towards you, because they see themselves in you.

💚💚 Sun in the 11th house 💚💚

Believe it or not, this placement is actually very similar to Sun in the 1st house. They shine the most when the embrace themselves, team up with people and still assert themselves individually. You shine best when you have a side hustle going or an online business. When you take care of younger siblings or cousins, relatives. When you give each person in the family a role. When you protect back people that protected you in the past, especially during childhood.

💖💖 Sun in the 12th house 💖💖

When you create, DIY in your alone time. When you take time off for yourself and recharge your individual needs before helping, mingling with other people. When you treat to separate yourself from the rest of society through film, dance, arts, use of your creativity and imagination. When you try writing poetry, keeping a journal (daily, meditation, gratefulness, planner). When you address your own limitations, frustrations and daily duties responsibilities.

Credit blog: Tumblr blog @astroismypassion

[magiclamd]

YOU GUYS YOU GUYS YOU GUYS ENCANTO IS A HEROINE’S JOURNEY AND I NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT

SPOILERS TO FOLLOW

The story deals with so many of the things that you expect to see in a Heroine’s Journey: individual sacrifice for the group (which means there’s space to include loads of great supporting characters), humour, community/family and one’s place in it, compromise. No villain, because the real villain in these stories is often A Secret, or a normal but potentially damaging emotions such as fear; and what secrets and damaging emotions are REALLY about is usually a combination of a failure of communication or personal growth or leadership. It’s why this structure works so well for romances/rom-coms, but as you can see from this film, the structure doesn’t need a romance, it’s just that it’s commonly used for the romance genre.

ANYWAY.

We start with Mirabel, one of the next generation of a magical family, NOT being given a magical gift and an associated room during her coming-of-age ceremony, and losing her standing with her grandmother, the head of the family. This is how a heroine’s journey starts: with the loss of something (think Demeter’s daughter being abducted, or Raya from Raya and the Last Dragon losing her father and her home, or Dorothy Gale being transported away from her home and trapped in Oz).

We see the typical things you would see next - other family members trying to give her “advice” to help her with her problem that doesn’t actually solve anything at all (think of Demeter being told to just give up on trying to find Persephone); and her still not giving up. She will help the family, she is part of it.

And because of all of that, she is the perfect person for their magical house to show its cracks to, which stand in for the cracks in the family, and how much pressure that everyone is under to live up to the miracle their grandmother was given when they reached their new home (the whole story is a wonderful metaphor for the ways that immigrant children often feel - pressured to make the most of their new opportunities and to always think of the sacrifices made to get them there - but it’s also more generally a great way of highlighting how people get put into roles in families that they might not have picked for themselves and which don’t necessarily fit them very well at all).

In trying to find out what’s really going on, she uncovers how unhappy so many of her generation really are, and that they are being made miserable by the weight of the expectations being put on them, and the secrets. She goes into the underworld - somewhere the house cannot help her - and finds the truth about her mysterious uncle that disappeared, who is not the boogeyman he is portrayed as but in a lot of ways the failed heroine here, because his attempts at averting the oncoming catastrophe, or any catastrophe he ever foretold, do not work because he can’t see the changes necessary to find a path forward.

Reunifying not only him to the family, but Mirabel to her sister and grandmother, who have not treated her well, are symbolic in healing the masculine and feminine and in reuniting parents and children, which is something Maureen Murdock in particular insists are important to a Heroine’s Journey narrative (I think this step usually works better in these stories as a more general and metaphorical thing but it works here).

Forgiveness and empathy are some of the most important characteristics in a capital-H Heroine and we see Mirabel grow into these qualities in herself as she fights for and regains her place in the family and gets her own door - the FRONT door - because who else doesn’t have a magical gift in the family? Abuela, of course, who “runs the show” and who has found her successor as the next family matriarch. There is also a real sense at the end of the movie that the family is less separate from the town and it’s broader community now - that they had just needed to be let in, which is what Mirabel facilitates. Keeping the family above the rest of the community and only integrating certain individuals through marriage is not true collective thinking and it’s only at the end, when the family stop putting themselves above the rest of the community but work side-by-side with them, that they regain not only their home but their magic as well.  

I was going to write a whole extra thing here about how Mirabel is also one of the most recognisable type of heroines who go on a Heroine’s Journey - a gothic heroine - but this got too long already so I might make a separate post about that.

HEROINE’S JOURNEY FTW!!!!!

[maybe-homestuck-now-or-something]

I really wanna talk about homestuck in relation to this post but like, idk if I wanna add to it because it might be a total derailment of the topic but homestuck is such a weird apocalypse narrative.

like... the way it handles it is so odd because earth itself is not very well characterized before the characters leave it. the characters themselves are massively well characterized, and that takes up the bulk of the narrative, but like... we never even hear them talk about school? or much of anything more than their shared interests and what's immediately happening to them. and in a way, that is kind of authentic. because when kids get together to hang out, the last thing they ever wanna talk about is dry, boring stuff about their mundane lives. they'll mostly just yell memes at each other, talk about anime, play video games... it's possible to simultaneously know nothing about your friends, but feel closer to them than ever, because you're mostly around for the parts of their life that they want to experience when they're having the most fun. you see them as they are when they have the most agency to choose that. and that might be totally divorced from the reality of how their day-to-day life unfolds.

in this way, homestuck presents these characters as people who have shed that mundane portion of their lives. they are now left with only the part that they typically share with their friends. and in reality, if a SBURB type apocalypse were to literally happen to you, it'd be traumatic as hell. but this is the place where homestuck chooses to ask you to suspend your disbelief. let's just believe that John didn't have any other friends or family to think about when the world ended. let's pretend they left zero people of any interest whatsoever behind. all they are shaking off is the society that they were obligated to participate in so mundanely. they no longer have to make any compromises with anyone... they get to fully center themselves.

okay, so that's obviously not entirely true... playing SBURB is a cooperative experience, and being friends with someone doesn't always mean that your relationship is easy. but homestuck allows the narrative to become self centered. it's about one individual and the tiny sphere of influence they have, among solely the people they've developed meaningful bonds with. it allows them to become a case study.

so when the world ends, the world is not necessarily what matters. what matters is the identities of a few specific individuals who we spend a lot of time cultivating our own connections with as a reader.

and that all becomes incredibly interesting when you consider classes and aspects.

basically, in terms of the post linked above, classes and aspects are the harry potter houses, the factions, the "what bender are you" or MBTI type... they're not the only way you could categorize the characters, but they're the most universally applicable to all of the characters that are important in the narrative. and what's interesting is just like... what classes are for, and how complicated it actually is to know what aspects are, or what they mean.

starting with classes, these are basically a series of archetypes that are specialized so that everyone has a role to play that makes them uniquely valuable to a collective. if we're considering this in terms of DnD, you can think of what classes might make for a balanced party, and how having a balanced party makes it satisfying to play the game. no one player could handle everything on their own, and at the same time, everyone feels needed. nobody is useless.

this already seems fundamentally different from some of the means of categorization that I listed above. a lot of these systems are meant to divvy up the characters into societally recognized in-groups and out-groups... people who can be identified as allies or enemies. even if the groups are ascribed certain archetypal skills, the goal is rarely so explicitly for the archetypes to work together, or cover each other's weaknesses. Avatar is probably what comes the closest to this idea, with its underlying endeavor to find harmony between the elements, but homestuck uses classes both as a way to communicate unique specialization, and as a way to unify the characters by their need for support.

and that's a little weird isn't it? these characters just shed all of their obligations to a broader society, and we're taking that as a freeing event... right? but there is a difference between society and community, and while homestuck might use the destruction of society as a catalyst for adventure, it uses the formation of community as the driving force behind the story's progression. the characters are all motivated to work together and help each other... and that doesn't always mean that it works. even within a community, one person's drive to center themselves and their own personal growth can trample others who were trying to do the same thing. perhaps not everyone in the community consents to being cooperative. perhaps the difference in archetype could drive someone to become competitive instead. and these are all value-neutral observations... no archetype is specifically acknowledged as being evil, even when they have friction with one another.

basically... this is character writing. and I find it funny that these broad categories that kids like to identify themselves with are seen as ways of flattening characterization into broad strokes like "the brave one" or "the sneaky one" or what have you, because in the case of classes, the characterization becomes deeper. and I think that's because the categories are used well... the characters all have specific relationships with the stereotypes they're ascribed by others, and the archetypes they're told they must fulfill. the classes don't define them, but they do give them something to contend with. can they fulfill their role? can they live up to their purpose? is there a place in the story for someone with an archetype like theirs? do they want to be this?

aspects get even trickier, and for this I might just link to a video I really love that covers a lot of the thoughts I've been having. it's kind of front loaded with a lot of technical talk about computer science and philosophy, and tbh I love that homestuck does actually link up those concepts with so much of it's presentation, but the main bit that intrigues me is the way the video talks about aspects as irreducible components of thought. like the periodic table of elements, but for ideas.

this drastically elevates the importance of each character's assigned category, and makes it function so much better as a tool for characterization. because, like, the aspects are actually really abstract. when someone says their aspect is "wind" or "light" you could take that 100% literally if you wanted to... but by the time you've read enough of homestuck to connect those to John and Rose, you probably understand that it's not that simple. and other concepts, such as astrology, have taught you that this is the sort of system that you're supposed to interpret, right? what is a capricorn if not a loose collection of traits that give you a certain vibe? that's what we're working with when it comes to aspects. otherwise, how would you know what void, or doom, or mind are? tbh it's actually pretty genius that astrology was worked into the comic as an aesthetic element, just so we'd all be mentally primed to do this kind of categorical interpretation... hell, even the actual signs themselves constitute a framework with which you could analyze the characters, like, how does Nepeta display typical leo traits, or how is Vriska a stereotypical scorpio... it all still works, even as you understand that each individual is more complex than the traits which support that interpretation.

in this way, the aspects are never really explained exhaustively verbatim, and are almost solely defined by the traits you've observed from individual characters, who act as representatives for what these categories actually are. or at least how they function in this instance, which is what's relevant. it's not just superpowers, and it's not just archetypes... it's both at the same time, and you come at them from a character-first perspective when you're trying to figure out what they mean. the characters inform your knowledge of the categories, and the categories act as a framework for analyzing the characters. and I love how homestuck tricks you into assuming that it has a lot of little rigid categories for the characters to slot into, and how quickly it becomes apparent that everything is way more abstract than it first appears. and yet, it all still means something. and it's really interesting to, say, compare two different time players to try to piece together what is typical for that archetype, while also accounting for their class, and trying to understand how that changes the roles they play and the ways they behave. and then you have the trolls' caste system on top of that, and the astrology angle I mentioned earlier, and there are honestly so many overlapping ways to think about it all, and I think that's the point.

[weasleyswizardpleases]

And the Living is Easy (Fred x reader)

Summary: You spend the first night of summer vacation getting into trouble with the Weasleys + Harry and Hermione. Fred x reader. Fluffy mischief mostly, but sex is discussed and implied. 

Warnings/Notes: Light sexual content but not all out smut, alcohol, heights, language. I wrote this to be a stand alone, but I enjoyed it so much that it might become part of a loose series of slice of life-y reader x twins fics set at the burrow over the summer! ps i did not edit this at all after writing it at 2am so. uh

Summer at the Weasley’s is my favorite time of year. After my mother passed, you were tossed around from boarding school to boarding school, relative to relative, never really having a say in where you went, or with whom. But ever since becoming fast friends with Fred and George while repairing brooms for the Gryffindor Quidditch team, you’ve pretty much been considered an honorary Weasley.

You stow your suitcases in the overhead and squeeze into a seat next to Fred and George. Across from you, Ron, Lee, and Harry are packed in. 

“Do you reckon you’ll ever make it out to the burrow, Lee?” asks George pointedly. 

“Yeah, you don’t know what you’re missing out on. Mrs. Weasley’s hotcakes are out of this world.” Harry says.

“And there’s loads of space to play quidditch.” you say.

“And loads of secret spots not even Mum knows about where we can basically do whatever we like.” adds Fred.

“You know my mum will hardly let me out of her sight for a day. Merlin’s sake, she’s practically ass to elbow on me all summer.” Lee says, faking a pout. “Quit ribbing at me, would you? Or I’ll spend the summer in my room coming up with derogatory names to call you on the Quidditch pitch.”

Murmurs of “Come on, we’re only joking.” and “Fine, fine.” fill the packed compartment. You lift your rat Pansy up to the window to show him the scenery.

“Bet you’ve never seen the fine English countryside like this, eh Pansy?” you baby-talk at him, scratching his little noggin.

“You know that thing is never gonna talk back at you, right Y/N?” says Fred, rolling his eyes. 

“You never know. Look what happened to Scabbers.” you say, wiggling you eyebrows. “This rat could also secretly be a creepy little pervert who watches me undress at night.”

“I suppose it isn’t unprecedented in the rat community,” agrees George. Ron scowls in disdain.

“That’s my pet we’re talking about!” he says, causing everyone to burst into laughter.

“Yeah, fine pet he was.” says Harry, grinning.

“I will say, Ron-” Fred begins, clearing his throat. “You’ll never find another like him.” He claps his little brother on the back and stands up, peering down the hallway. “Oi, it’s the trolley, look alive Georgie.” George rises and straightens his coat. The boys have been planning for ages to charm the trolley witch into selling their skiving snackboxes. They run off down the car towards her. You tuck Pansy back into his cage and watch the scenery go by yourself. Before you know it, you’re being shaken awake by Fred and George. 

“C’mon, Dad is waiting!” says George. 

“Got you some chocolate frogs, but that means you owe us one.” says Fred, shoving a wriggling paper bag into your hands. Delighted, you expertly open the bag, catch a frog, and slurp it up before it manages to escape. 

“Tank -ou” you mumble, your mouth still full. Lugging your trunks over to meet Mr. Weasley, you smile with excitement. Every summer with the Weasleys is a blast, but you know this one will start off with a bang because last week Fred absconded with a jug of top shelf mead from Filch’s office. You’d all agreed that you needed it more, since you want to have fun and have no money, while Filch obviously dislikes fun and ostensibly has some amount of money squirreled away from all his groundskeeping or lurking or whatever his job is. 

After greeting Molly, you and the twins bound up to their room- and, when you’re here, your room- pushing and shoving your way up the narrow stairwell. You toss your things down and throw yourself onto a bed, spreading your arms as if making a snow angel. 

“Oh, boys, it is good to be home!” you say, laughing. Fred and George always joke that their mother likes you, Harry, and Hermione better than any of her own actual children, and you love teasing them about it. 

“Speak for yourself, she’s already got that sending-us-to-de-gnome-the-

garden-while-hungover gleam in her eyes,” retorts George good-naturedly.

“And get your shoes off my bed! Mum will have all three of us beating out the rugs if she sees that.” says Fred. You close your eyes and pretend to be asleep, baiting the boys into attempting to push you off the bed. You wind up making such a ruckus roughhousing that Hermione comes in looking concerned, seemingly appearing out of nowhere. You all three pause from your compromised position to look at her, you releasing a vise grip on Fred, George dropping your left leg, which he had been twisting violently.

“When did you get here?” you ask, running to hug her. 

“Just apparated over, my parents would never forgive me if I didn’t at least drop by for dinner before practically moving here for the summer!” she replies, turning to greet the twins. 

“Are you going to be participating in our little soiree tonight, ‘Mione?” asks George, raising an eyebrow. 

“What are you three planning?” she asks sternly, stifling an excited smile.

“You’ll just have to wait and see,” you say. 

“But don’t wear white shoes.” warns Fred. Hermione gives you all a funny look before running off to finish her greetings. 

“Where are we going tonight, Freddie?” you ask, looking up at your tall friend. He gives you a cheeky glance.

“Oh, out by the bog. There’s a huge hill between there and the house, so we can make a fire and nobody will see.”

“And there’s a huge stand of trees and a pond between that spot and the neighbors’,” says George. 

“You two have got it all figured out. And you’ve got the firewhiskey! What a night, what a night it shall be.” you say, your voice singsonging as you dance exaggeratedly. 

“Too bad nobody invited any girls.” says Ron from the doorway. He’s been standing in the hallway looking in the mirror for some time now, fussing with his hair.

“What am I, chopped liver?” Ginny shouts from her open door down the hall.

“YOU don’t count!” Ron replies.

“We know you’ve got someone else in mind, little brother.” George says, flicking Ron in the ear. 

“It’s pretty obvious,” Fred agrees.

“You get all flustered when she corrects your grammar,” you say.

“And you let her braid your hair.” says Fred.

“And you-” begins George, but Ron interrupts, his face beet red.

“Shhhh! Buzz off you two, or I’ll start blabbing on about who you’re interested in as well.”

The twins exchange a somewhat threatened glance, but say nothing.

“That’s right, I’m not as dull as you lot like to think, thank you very much. I notice things. So let me alone or I’ll sing like a canary!” Ron finishes, turning back to the mirror for a final glance at his hair before trotting downstairs. 

“You two have crushes?” you demand, turning to stare down the twins. Fred shrugs with his usual attitude but you notice a light blush spreading across each of their cheeks. You swat him across the chest. “Why didn’t you tell me? Who is it? You motherfuckers.” You grab George by the collar. “George, tell me who it is! A crush, my god.” You throw your hands up in the air. They’re being super weird, so you decide to drop the subject. “When you snog every girl and half the boys in the school, between the two of you, you practically hold us all down to tell us the details but now you’ve got a crush and suddenly you’re like a couple of mimes.” You look each of them in the eyes, and both avoid your stare. “Fine! Don’t tell me.” You throw your hands up in mock anger and lead the charge downstairs to begin setting the table for dinner.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~After dinner, you pass the evening playing cards and chatting until Mr. and Mrs. Weasley retire for the night. Then, you’re left with all your friends and Percy, who it has been agreed simply cannot know you’re sneaking out to drink in the woods, because he is a killjoy. Using a previously discussed maneuver, Hermione attempts to trick him into believing that she and Ginny are going to bed, hoping that he will get nervous about being bullied if left alone with you and the twins, and elect to follow them to bed soon after. However, Percy is in an unusually jovial mood, and so Ron and Harry are forced to retreat as well. As a last line of defense, you pretend to fall asleep on George’s shoulder, nuzzling into his sweater. When Percy gets up to go to the bathroom, you dash outside into the moonlit yard, covering your mouth so your giggles don’t give you away. You run to crouch behind the garden shed, doubled over with laughter. 

“I thought he would never stop yapping.”

“God, how are you two related to that bore?”

“We can’t help it.” Fred says, bending to gather rocks from the ground. 

“What are you doing?” you ask.

“Watch!” he raises his hand to throw a pebble at Ginny’s window, but you grab his wrist.

“Have you lost the plot? Percy will hear! And probably your mum too, with your aim. I’ve got a better idea,” you say, peeking around the garden shed while gesturing for the boys to stay put. You pop out of the shed with a dusty, rickety broom. 

“Does this thing still work?” you ask.

“Well enough,” says Fred, getting a running start and jumping on the broom. Wobbling a bit, he sails up to Ginny’s window and confers with the girls, then moves on to Ron’s window, where he perches on the sill, one foot dangling out the window.

Beside you, you’re aware of George’s presence beside you in the cool, sticky night.

“Bloody brilliant,” he murmurs, elbowing you gently. “How’d you even know that thing was in there?”

“Lucky guess. I mean, with a family full of Quidditch players, there’s bound to be a broom lying about someplace.” 

Fred jumps down onto the broom and turns a few experimental loop de loops overhead before nearly falling and coming to a shaky landing near your feet. 

“That one belongs on the rubbish heap, honestly,” he says, laughing as he tosses the old thing aside.

“Oh, sure, blame it on the broom,” you tease.

He’s soon followed by Ginny and Hermione on Ginny’s broom. They glide down and come to a halt next to you, stepping down gracefully.

“How are Harry and Ron going to get out? They’d have to go right by Mr. and Mrs. Weasley’s room, unless Harry has his broom up there with him, but I think I saw it in the foyer.” says Hermione, looking at Fred worriedly.

“Well, err, I told them to climb down,” says Fred earnestly.

“What?!” says Hermione. “They’ll be loud as bison, besides probably breaking their necks.”

“It’s not my fault they’re too dumb to pass their apparation O.W.L.S! They’ll be fine.”

As he finishes his sentence, Ron’s window slides open and Harry’s head pops out. He lowers what appears to be a rope made of sheets and blankets tied together. Hermione’s brow furrows as she watches, helpless, while Ron artlessly slips one leg out the window, before even checking to see that the “rope” is nowhere near long enough to reach the ground. Ginny giggles, biting her lip when she sees Hermione’s distress.

“Do something!” Hermione hisses, nudging her. Ginny groans and soars over to boost Ron onto the back of her broom, going back to do the same for Harry.

“Shite! The firewhiskey,” you whisper, smacking your forehead. Everyone lets out a collective groan, but before you can send someone back up to hunt down the alcohol, Ginny opens her backpack, revealing the gleaming jug. Everyone cheers, but then quickly realizes that loudly cheering may have blown your cover. Fred and George scurry off into the brush and you all follow them down a lightly trod path through the countryside, eventually reaching the open bank of a large, murky pond. This is a spot you’ve never been to before, probably because it’s a fair stretch away from the house, and apparently from any civilization at all. 

Hermione quickly conjures a large fire, creating a pocket of warmth in the chilly night air. You lean against a large rock and shiver when the cool stone brushes the back of your neck. Ginny pulls out the firewhiskey and hands it to Fred, who pops the cork, shouting with glee before knocking back a sip and passing it to George, who passes it to you. The familiar sickly sweet liquid burns your throat and warms your stomach, and you feel your (already barely existent) inhibitions begin melting away.

Before long, Ron suggests that you all play a game, and you run through your options: truth or dare, spin the bottle, a wizarding game you’ve never heard of, and hide and go seek. Hermione refutes hide and go seek on the basis of safety, and Fred refutes spin the bottle on the basis of the fact that four out of six of you are siblings. Not everyone brought their wands, so you can’t play the magic game, and you’re left with truth or dare as the apparent winner, which you were rooting for anyway, because you want to see what you can get the twins to do. It almost makes you wish Percy was here so you could put him in a compromising position, but knowing him, he’d find a way to make walking on hot coals boring. 

“I’ll start, I’ll start!” you volunteer, looking around the circle. “My first victim will beeeee…” you look at Hermione, who cringes nervously, then spin around to point at Harry. “Harry Potter. What will it be, Mr. Potter, truth or dare?” you ask.

Harry shrugs. “Hmm.. I’ll do.. Dare, why not?” he replies. 

“Alright Harry, I dare you tooooo.... Oh, easy. I dare you to smack Ron every time he says something you think is stupid tonight. And be honest, or we’ll smack you,” you say. The twins nod in agreement. 

“That’s not fair! That’s barely a real dare!” protests Ron. You raise an eyebrow at Harry, who turns and gives his friend a good wallop. 

“Alright Harry, your turn.” 

You play for nearly an hour, all the while passing the bottle lazily between you, until everyone’s good and tipsy on the strong liquor. Several good dares are exchanged: Fred is dared to give you a lap dance, which he does with gusto and an uncomfortable amount of eye contact. You dare Ginny to race you across the pond and back, and you both strip down to your skivvies and plunge into the chilly water. Ginny wins, of course, but you just wanted an excuse for a swim. Fred lends you his cloak, patting it onto your shoulders to dry them before you pull your pants back on. George dares Ron to walk back to the house and get food, which he reluctantly agrees to after everyone bullies him into it. By the time he gets back with a basket of pastries and jam, you’ve transitioned to mainly truths, because the well of dares has run dry. 

When it’s Hermione’s turn to ask Fred, she blushingly asks if he’s lost his virginity. 

“What, do you all think I’ve snogged every girl we know without scaring? Have a little faith, please.”

“Clever, but that’s not an answer!” slurs Hermione, pointing at him and grinning. “Have you actually had sex before, or do you just talk a big game?” 

“Well, have you?” you ask, laughing as he tries to bluster out an answer.

“”Course I have. Ask anybody. Everybody must think George and I are the male sluts of the century, the way you people talk.” 

“Still not an answer!” you say, looking at him mischievously. 

“How’s this for an answer, then?” he retorts, pulling you to his waist and kissing you on the lips melodramatically, throwing you up against the rock, practically fucking but for the clothes. What’s probably thirty seconds of kissing at most feels like an hour. Everyone goes “Oooooh!” and when he finally lets you go you’re flabbergasted, but you recover your senses.

“Point taken, then. Alright Freddie, your turn,” you say, straightening your clothes and trying not to look like you enjoyed that. 

“I dare Hermione to let us play hide and seek, for fuck’s sake,” he says, lazily.

“Ugh! I might be drunk but I’m not letting anyone stumble around alone in the pitch black plastered out of your mind. Ask me a real question!” 

“What if we weren’t alone?” Harry asks, looking around. “I mean, we could go in pairs or little groups. Like team hide and seek, basically.”

“I call Fred and George!” you cry, throwing your arms around their sweaty necks. 

“Fine, but please be careful. And everyone should be on a team with at least one person with a wand,” says Hermione, who teams up with Ron. That leaves Harry and Ginny on the last team.

George produces his wand and casts an illumination spell.

“Not it!” You shout, immediately echoed by Ginny. 

“Alright, we’ll count to 50” says Hermione, but Harry and George protest until they finally agree to 3 minutes.

Fred tears off into the woods and you and George follow, bushes thwacking you in the face, vines snagging at your ankles. You break through the brush into a field, panting, and stop for a break. 

“Where are we going?” you ask, looking around. “And where are we?” 

“No idea!” Fred says gleefully. 

“What about over there?” George nods towards a patch of grass and trees down in a glenn. You lope down hill through high grass and crash to a halt in the stand of trees, crouching low. Fred huddles next to you and George clambers clumsily into one of the trees, flattening himself into one of its crooks.

You can feel your stomach churning after your run, but you manage to successfully push down the acrid taste rising in your throat. Above you, you hear George belch, and just manage to slip out of the way as he spits a pitiful glob of vomit to the ground.

“Oi, we’re down here, you lout,” hisses Fred, ducking.

“Look at the state of you,” you drawl, bumping into Fred as you readjust around George’s vomit. He groans from his spot up in the tree and lies back down sleepily. To your surprise, you feel the urge to pull Fred closer rather than pushing him away. The earthy smell of the forest floor calms your stomach, and you find your mind wandering to his lips, his hands on your waist and neck. Buzzing with drunken impulsivity, you wrap your arms around his slender waist and pull him to sit beside you. He looks surprised, but readily slouches against the tree trunk next to you. You can feel his chest rising and falling with each breath. The air is still and cool in that settled way characteristic of the night.

Overhead, you think you can hear George beginning to snore. 

“Freddie-” you begin, but before you can say a word, his lips are on yours, his hands tangled in your hair. You push him down and roll over so that you’re straddling him, gripping his jaw in one hand as you kiss him, hard, then gently. His lips are softer and more relaxed than they were when he kissed you earlier, and his body less certain. There’s no false bravado in him now, and you bite his lip gently, your tongues barely batting together. You reach down to unzip his pants but he pulls back.

“Y/N- I- Look, I may have lied earlier,” he says, his face flush with desire and embarrassment. You look at him quizzically, your drunken mind not connecting all the dots. 

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I haven’t… done this before. I’ve only ever kissed. Although I’ve done quite a lot of that.” he says quietly. You blink.

“Oh. Oh! You total freak. Why go to all that trouble to convince everyone you have?”

“Have you considered that maybe I just wanted to kiss you?”

This shuts you up. He pulls you back down to kiss you again, this time on the cheek, on the forehead, the neck. 

“Don’t do anything you don’t want to do,” you say carefully, brushing a bead of sweat from his forehead. 

“No… no, I’m ready. I want this now,” he says, tugging at your shirt. You pull it off over your head and toss it into the grass, the game of hide and seek forgotten. Let the shirt be a warning flag to any nosy passerby. Fred kisses across your chest. 

“Freddie, we’re drunk,” you remind him, your breathing growing heavier as his tongue flicks across your nipple.

“I want you,” he mumbles into the crook of your neck in between kisses. “I want you, I want you, I want you,” he says. You kiss him in reply, and move again to unzip his pants. You feel his hard member ready to burst out of his jeans, and it sends a thrill through you.

You had considered that you might one day wind up with Fred or George, and honestly, you had figured it would be on some less-than-sober whim like this, but you never really pictured it. You certainly never imagined Fred like this, innocent and tame, hoping for someone else to take the lead.

“Will you show me how?”

“Yes,” you breathe your reply into his mouth.

“Will you go slow?” he asks sweetly, his coy submissiveness sending tremors through your body. 

“Yes. Come closer.”

In the morning, you groggily open your eyes at the sound of birds chirping. You sit up, your head throbbing, and look around. Above you and a few feet to your right, George is sleeping soundly on his belly in the flat convergence of an oak tree’s branches. To your left, shirtless and smeared with dirt, is Fred curled on top of his cloak, also fast asleep. 

“Guess they gave up on finding us,” you mutter, running a hand through your hair to smooth it into place. You remember what happened last night well enough, although some parts are cloudier than others, and you don’t remember deciding to fall asleep at all. You suppose it just happened at some point. Your heart beats faster, wondering if you and Fred will be an item after this, or if he’ll want to keep it quiet, or if you just won’t talk about it. You’re not sure what you want, yet. It’s still purple pre-dawn in the countryside, the sun not quite peeking over the horizon yet.

You know you enjoyed yourself, and you adore Fred- as a friend, certainly. As something more? Maybe. You brush away your anxieties and trust that you’ll settle things when you’re less groggy. Suddenly, it dawns on you that you’ve got to get back to the house before Mr. and Mrs. Weasley wake up and notice your absence. You stand up as though the ground caught fire, kicking at Fred and shouting at George to get down.

You fetch your shirt from a nearby bush, and pluck a twig from Fred’s hair as he looks up, dazed.

“God, my head,” he says, squinting up at you. “What the hell time is it?”

“Never mind that, you’ll have worse than a headache if we don’t get back to the house by like, yesterday.”

“Merlin!” George exclaims, perking up and basically falling from his perch to the ground. Recovering he stands up, taking his surroundings in. “Hold on, what the hell happened to you, Fred? Where’s your shirt?”

“No time for all that, go!” you say, shoving George in the direction you suppose the house is in. You muster as fast a pace as you can and follow him, Fred scrambling to gather his cloak and tee shirt before catching up with you. With George’s back to both of you, you exchange a goofy grin and a wave of relief runs through you. He obviously doesn’t consider last night a mistake, either. You slip your hand into his and make your way into the breaking dawn.

[ohshcscenerios]

How would the hosts handle those dramatic "I HATE YOU, DAD/MOM!" situations with their daughter (or son idk)?

The hosts would not like this situation at all T_T

Tamaki would take it very personally. He wouldn't understand his child might mean they hate his decision for them or his treatment over them and think they actually hate him as a person. He'd need some time to recover, preferably in his room or office. In a way he'd act very similar to his child, having a mini tantrum and having to calm down before coming together for a proper discussion.

Kyoya would act unfazed. He might not even look their way as they stomp away. However he's deeply troubled. He wouldn't regret whatever he did to deserve such a reaction considering all of his decisions are to benefit his children but he would be reminded of his own father and how he felt at their age. Although he'd sit there calmly he'd wrack over his thoughts trying to figure out how he can get through to them and resolve this.

Haruhi would be shocked and very hurt. She might act out of anger and tell them to go to their room or to skip dinner, anything to make them leave her alone for the time being because she has a lot of thinking to do. Eventually she'll calm down, whether over time or after venting to her spouse, and come to realize that maybe she should consider things through her child's perspective. She would want to compromise with her child and encourage them to stand for what they want while also being respectful and considerate. She doesn't want her child to grow up as a pushover so she'll work hard to find middle ground that they both can stand on.

Hikaru would reflect his child's anger right back to them. He would easily feed into their energy and match their animosity which would lead to dangerous arguments. Sometimes he'll say things he can't take back which are hard lessons to learn as a parent. He and his child would have to realize that both are individual people who are learning, growing, and depend on proper communication to get along. They would help each other in that aspect. Hikaru would need to calm down which might take a while - like a few days perhaps - but once he comes around he'll be ready to talk again. His child may take after him so a long time of silence is needed before compromises can be made.

Kaoru would understand his child's words aren't directed toward him but as a reflection of his decisions/treatment. He might take it personally for a minute but he's emotionally mature to know better. No one wants to hear their child say that but he'd understand and give them some space to think and collect their thoughts. He would need time to do the same. He would come to them gently, possibly offering them their favorite snack as a form of truce, and try to open the conversation again.

Mitsukuni wouldn't take it personally but he wouldn't tolerate it either. The Haninozukas rely heavily on respect, self control, and honor and his child did not practice that in their fit of rage. As punishment, he will have to challenge them in the Haninozuka dojo. This serves two purposes; 1) to release the rageful energy they both have and 2) to sharpen their minds during the fight so they can speak more clearly afterwards. To say such a thing is to challenge Mitsukuni and that is what will happen.

Takashi would internalize his child's words and take it very personally. He would know better, understanding his child might not have meant it that way, but he would blame himself for pushing his child to such an extent that they would say such a thing. He would ask them to step into the meditation room, alone, so they may reflect their actions, gather their thoughts, and come to understand the true source of their anger while he does the same thing elsewhere, preferably the family garden. Although he isn't much of a talker he wants to strengthen his children's communication skills and this is one of those ways to do it. It also benefits him in the end.

[samwisethewitch]

Coping with religious trauma

CONTENT WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS DISCUSSIONS OF MENTAL ILLNESS, TRAUMA RECOVERY, AND HOMOPHOBIA. The advice in this post is intended for an adult audience, not for those who are legal minors.

A lot of people find their way to paganism after having traumatic experiences with organized religion, especially in countries like the United States, where 65% of the population identifies as Christian. (This number is actually at an all-time low — historically, the percentage has been much higher.) Paganism, which is necessarily less dogmatic and hierarchical than the Abrahamic religions, offers a chance to experience religion without having to fit a certain mold. This can be extremely liberating for people who have felt hurt, abused, or ignored by mainstream religion.

To avoid making generalizations that might offend people, I’ll share my own story as an example.

My family joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, better known as the Mormons, when I was nine years old. The Mormons are an extremely conservative sect of evangelical Christianity that places a heavy emphasis on maintaining a strong community that upholds their religious values. The problem with that is that Mormon values are inherently racist, sexist, homophobic, and transphobic. As a teenager in the Mormon Church, I was told that as a woman, my only purpose in life was to marry a (Mormon) man and raise (Mormon) children. I was discouraged from pursuing a college education if it meant delaying marriage. I was not allowed to participate in the full extent of religious ritual because I was not a man. I was not allowed to express myself in ways that went against Mormon culture, and I kept my bisexuality secret for fear I would be ostracized. I didn’t have any sort of support system outside the Church, which inevitably made the mental health issues that come with being a queer woman in a conservative Christian setting much, much worse.

I left the Mormons when I was seventeen, and by that time I had some major issues stemming from my time in the Church. I had been extremely depressed and anxious for most of my teen years. I struggled with internalized misogyny and homophobia. I had very low self-esteem. I had anxiety around sex and sexuality that would take years of therapy and self-work to overcome. I wanted to form a connection with the divine, but I wasn’t sure if I was worthy of such a connection.

I was attracted to paganism, specifically Wicca, because it seemed like everything Mormonism wasn’t. Wicca teaches equality between men and women, with a heavy focus on the Goddess in worship. It places an emphasis on doing what is right for you, as long as it doesn’t harm anyone else. It encourages sexuality and healthy sexual expression. Learning about Wicca, and later other types of paganism, helped me develop the kind of healthy spirituality I’d never experienced as a Mormon. Although Wicca is no longer the backbone of my religious practice, it was a necessary and deeply healing step on my spiritual journey.

I’m not sharing my story to gain sympathy or to make anyone feel bad — I’m sharing it because my situation is not an uncommon one in pagan circles. The vast majority of pagans are converts, meaning they didn’t grow up pagan. Some had healthy upbringings in other faiths, or no faith at all, and simply found that paganism was a better fit for them. Others, like myself, had deeply traumatic experiences with organized religion and are attracted to paganism because of the freedom, autonomy, and empowerment it offers.

If you fall into this latter category, this post is for you. Untangling the threads of religious trauma can be an extremely difficult and overwhelming task. In this post, I lay out six steps to recovery based on my own experiences and those of other people, both pagan and non-pagan, who have lived through religious trauma.

While following these steps will help jumpstart your spiritual healing, it’s important to remember that healing is not a linear process — especially healing from emotional, mental, and spiritual trauma. You may have relapses, you may feel like you’re moving in circles, and you may still have bad days in five or ten years. That’s okay. That’s part of the healing process. Go easy on yourself, and let your journey unfold naturally.

Step One: Cut all ties with the group that caused your trauma

Or, at least, cut as many ties as reasonably possible.

Obviously, if you’re still participating in a religious organization that has caused you pain, the first step is to leave! But before you do, make sure you have an exit plan to help you disengage safely and gracefully.

To make your exit plan, start by asking yourself what the best, worst, and most likely case scenarios are, and be honest in your answers. Obviously, the best case scenario is that you leave, everyone accepts it, and all is well. The worst case scenario is that someone tries to prevent you from leaving — you may be harassed by missionaries or concerned churchgoers, for example. But what is the most likely case scenario? That depends on the religious community, their beliefs, and how involved you were in the first place. When making your exit plan, prepare for the most likely scenario, but have a backup plan in case the worst case scenario happens.

Once you’ve prepared yourself for the best, worst, and most likely outcomes, choose a friend, significant other, or family member who can help you make your exit. Ideally, this person is not a member of the group you are trying to leave. Their role is mainly to provide emotional support, although they may also need to be willing to run off any well-meaning missionaries who come calling. This person can also help you transition after you leave. For example, you might make a plan to get coffee with them every week during the time your old religious community holds worship services.

Finally, make your strategy for leaving. Choose a date and don’t put it off! If you have any responsibilities within the group, send in a letter of resignation. Figure out who you’ll need to have conversations with about your leaving — this will likely include any family members or close friends who are still part of the group. Schedule those conversations. Make sure to have them in public places, where people will be less likely to make a scene.

If you feel it is necessary, you may want to request that your name be removed from the group’s membership records so you don’t get emails, phone calls, or friendly visits from them in the future. You may not feel the need to do this, but if contact with the group triggers a mental health crisis, this extra step will help keep you safe.

Of course, it’s not always possible to completely cut ties with a group after leaving. You may have family members, a significant other, or close friends who are still members. If this is the case, you’ll need to establish some clear boundaries. Politely but firmly tell them that, although you’re glad their faith adds value to their lives, you are not willing to be involved in their religious activities. Let them know that this is what is best for your mental and emotional health and that you still value your relationship with them.

Try to make compromises that allow you to preserve the relationship without exposing you to a traumatic religious environment. For example, if your family is Christian and always spends all day on Christmas at church, offer to celebrate with them the day after, once their religious commitments are over.

Hopefully, your loved ones can respect these boundaries. If not, you may need to distance yourself or walk away altogether. If they are knowingly undermining your attempts to take care of yourself, they don’t deserve to be in your life.

During this time, you may find it helpful to read other people’s exit stories online or in books. One of my personal favorites is the book Girl at the End of the World by Elizabeth Esther. Hearing other people’s stories can help you remember that other people have been through similar situations and made it out on the other side. You will too.

Step Two: Seek professional help

I cannot overstate the importance of professional counseling when dealing with trauma of any kind, including religious trauma. Therapists and counselors have the benefit of professional training. They are able to be objective, since they’re approaching the situation from the outside. They can keep you from getting bogged down in your own thoughts and feelings.

I understand that not everyone has access to therapy. I am very lucky to have insurance that covers mental health counseling, but I know not everyone has that privilege. However, there are some options that make therapy more affordable.

There may be an organization in your area that offers free or low-cost therapy — if you live in the U.S., you can find information about these services by checking the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) HelpLine or visiting mentalhealth.gov. You can also look for therapists who use a sliding scale for payment, which means they determine an hourly rate based on the client’s income. And finally, if you have a little bit of extra cash you may want to look into therapy apps like BetterHelp or Talkspace, which are typically cheaper than in-person therapy.

If none of those options work for you, the next best option is to join a support group. Support groups allow you to connect with other people whose experiences are similar to yours and, unlike therapy, they allow you to get advice and feedback from multiple people. These groups are often free, although some charge a small fee.

Finding the right group for you is important. You’re unlikely to find a group for people recovering from religious trauma but, depending on the nature of your trauma, you may fit right in with a grief and loss group, an addiction recovery group, or a group for adult survivors of child abuse. If you’re a member of the LGBTQ+ community, you may be able to find a queer support group. (The LGBTQ+ club at my college was an invaluable resource in my recovery!) Depending on your area, you may also be able to find groups for specific mental and emotional issues like depression or anxiety.

Make sure to do your research before attending a meeting. Find out what, if anything, the group charges, who can join, and whether they use a curriculum or have unstructured sessions. See if you can find a statement about their values and philosophy. Make a note of where meetings are held and of who is running the group. Some support groups meet in churches and may or may not have a religious element to their curriculum. It’s best to avoid religious groups — the last thing you need right now is to be preached to.

Getting other people involved in your recovery will make you feel less alone and prevent you from getting stuck in your own head. A good therapist, counselor, or support group can help you realize what you need to work on and give you ideas for how to approach it.

Step Three: Deprogramming

“Deprogramming” refers to the practice of undoing brainwashing and reintroducing healthy thought patterns. This term is normally used in the context of cult survivors and their recovery, but deprogramming techniques can also be helpful for people recovering from a lifetime of toxic religious rhetoric.

To begin the process of deprogramming, familiarize yourself with the way organizations use thought control to shape the behavior of their members. I recommend starting with the work of Steven Hassan — his BITE model is a handy way to classify types of thought control.

The BITE model lays out four types of control. There’s Behavior Control, which controls what members do and how they spend their free time. (For example, requiring members to attend multiple hours-long meetings each week.) There’s Information Control, which restricts members’ access to information. (For example, denying certain aspects of the group’s history.) There’s Thought Control, which shapes the way members think. (For example, classifying certain thoughts as sinful or dirty.) And finally there’s Emotional Control, which manipulates members’ emotions. (For example, instilling fear of damnation or punishment.)

Here’s a simple exercise to get you started with your deprogramming. Divide a blank sheet of paper into four equal sections. Label one section “Behavior,” one “Information,” one “Thought,” and one “Emotions.” Now, in each section, make a list of the ways your old religious group controlled — and maybe still controls — that area of your life. Once you’ve completed your lists, choose a single item from one of your lists to work on undoing.

For example, let’s say that in your “Information” column, you’ve written that you were discouraged from reading certain books because they contained “evil” ideas. (For a lot of people, this was Harry Potter. For me, it was The Golden Compass.) Pick up one of those books, and read it or listen to it as an audiobook. Once you’ve read it, write down your thoughts. Did you enjoy it? Why or why not? Why do you think your group banned it? What was in this book that they didn’t want you to know about? Write it down.

Once you’ve worked on the first thing, choose something else. Keep going until you’ve undone all the items on your lists.

If you want to go further with deprogramming, I recommend the book Recovering Agency by Luna Lindsey. Although this book is specifically written for former Mormons, I genuinely believe it would be helpful to former members of other controlling religious groups as well. Lindsey does an excellent job of explaining how thought control works and of connecting it to real world examples, as well as deconstructing those ideas. Her book has been a huge help in my recovery process, and I highly recommend it.

Step Four: Replace toxic beliefs and practices with healthy ones

This goes hand-in-hand with step three, and if you’re already working on deprogramming then you’ll already have started replacing your unhealthy beliefs. This is the turning point in the recovery process. You’re no longer just undoing what others have done to you — now you get an opportunity to decide what you want to believe and do going forward. This is the time to let go of things like denial of your desires, fear of divine punishment, and holding yourself to unattainable standards. Get used to living in a way that makes you happy, without guilt.

Notice how each step builds on the previous steps. Therapy and deprogramming can help you identify what beliefs and behaviors need to be adjusted or replaced. Your therapist, support group, and/or emotional support person can help you make these changes and follow through on them.

These new beliefs and practices don’t have to be religious — in fact, it’s better if they aren’t. If you can live a healthy, happy, balanced life without religion, you’ll be in a better position to choose a religion that is the right fit for you, if that is something you want.

Your new healthy, non-religious practices may include: mindfulness meditation, nature walks, journaling, reading, exercise, energy work, learning a hobby or craft, or spending time with loves ones — or it might include none of these things, and that’s okay too. Now is the time to find what brings you joy and start doing it every day.

Step Five: Ritual healing

This is an optional step, but it’s one that has been deeply healing for me. You may find it helpful to design and perform a ritual to mark your recovery.

Note that when I say “ritual,” I don’t necessarily mean magic. Rituals serve a psychological purpose as well as a spiritual one. They can act as powerful symbolic events that mark a turning point in our lives or reinforce what we already know and believe. Even if you don’t believe in magic, even if you’re the least spiritual person you know, you can still benefit from ritual.

You might choose to perform a ritual to finalize your healing, or to symbolically throw off the chains of your old religion. It can be elaborate or simple, long or short, joyful or solemn. It might include lighting a candle and saying a few words. It might include ecstatic dance. It might include drawing or painting a representation of all the negative emotions associated with your old religion, then ritually destroying it. The possibilities are literally endless. (If you’re looking for ritual ideas, I recommend the book Light Magic for Dark Times by Lisa Marie Basile.)

One type of ritual that some people find very empowering is unbaptism. An unbaptism is exactly what it sounds like — the opposite of a baptism. The idea is that, if a baptism makes a Christian, an unbaptism makes someone un-Christian, no longer part of that lineage. It is a ritual rejection of Christianity. (Obviously, this only applies if you’re a former Christian, though some of the following suggestions could be adjusted to fit a rejection of other religions.)

If you’re interested in unbaptism, here are some ideas for how it could be done:

A classic method of unbaptism is to recite the Lord’s Prayer backwards under a full moon. (For a non-Christians version, use a significant prayer from whatever religion you have left.)

Run a bath. Add a tiny pinch of sulfur (a.k.a. brimstone) to the water. Get into the bath and say, “By water I was baptized, and by water my baptism is rejected.” Submerge your entire body under the water for several seconds. When you come back up, your unbaptism is complete. (You may want to shower after this one. Sulfur does not smell good.)

The Detroit Satanic Temple has a delightfully dramatic unbaptism ritual. For a DIY version, you will need holy water or some other relic from the faith you were baptized in, a fireproof dish, a black candle, and an apple or other sweet fruit. Light the candle and place it in your fireproof dish. Toss some holy water onto the flame (not enough to extinguish it) and say, “I cast my chains into the dust of hell.” Take a bite of the apple and say, “I savor the fruit of knowledge and disobedience.” Finally, declare proudly, “I am unbaptized.” You can add “in the name of Satan” at the end or leave it out, depending on your comfort level.

Personally, I’ve never felt the need to unbaptize myself. I’ve ritually rejected my Mormon upbringing in other ways. Maybe someday I’ll decide to go for the unbaptism, but I’ve never really felt like I needed it. Likewise, you’ll need to decide for yourself what ritual(s) will work for you.

Step Six: Honor your recovery

Our first reaction to trauma is to hide it away and never speak of it again. When we do this, we do ourselves a disservice. Your recovery is a part of your life story. You had the strength to walk away from a situation that was hurting you, and that deserves to be celebrated! Be proud of yourself for how far you’ve come!

You may choose to honor your recovery by celebrating an important date every year, like the day you decided to leave the group, the date of the last meeting you attended, or the date you were removed from the membership records. Keep this celebration fun and light — get drinks with friends, bake a cake for yourself, or just take a few moments to silently acknowledge your journey.

If you feel like having a party is a bit much, you can also honor your recovery by talking to other people about your experiences. Share your story with others. If you’re feeling shy, try sharing your story anonymously online. (Reddit has several forums specifically for anonymous stories.) You’ll be amazed by how validating it can be to tell people what you’ve been through. `

Another way to honor your recovery is to work for personal and religious freedom for all people. Protest laws with religious motivations. Donate to organizations that campaign for the separation of church and state. Educate people about how to recognize an unhealthy religious organization. Let your own story motivate you to help others who are in similar situations.

And most of all, take joy in your journey. Be proud of yourself for how far you’ve come, but know that your recovery is a lifelong journey. Be gentle and understanding with yourself. You are doing what is right for you, and no god or spirit worthy of worship could ever be upset by that.