#if this comes off a bit bitter
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pitchbat · 9 days ago
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my cafe UT rabbit came early :3 the lil teacup keychain came with him too which was nice
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smallsies · 2 years ago
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sorry but. something about how fanfiction is vastly undervalued by readers in fandom culture. how people love to read stories about their favorite characters but only if they're in love, or if they at least sleep with each other. there's so many incredible stories that are just missed because fandom culture struggles to see beyond romantic pairings and relationships.
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unweavinglies · 6 months ago
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I’d like to ask a question about Kokichi’s character in Chapter 4, specifically with him seeing the “Truth of the outside world.” Yes, it was a big shift in his character to suddenly want killing, but I’m not entirely convinced that it was because of him losing his mind from seeing the outside world. I think at least some of it was a facade to make others think of him as a bad guy/the mastermind; to make his Chapter 5 character more believable so his plan would work. What do you think?
Well, I'm not here to convince you one way or another.
My theories and personal interpretations are just that--personal interpretations and theories. The narrative is web of interpretations and I only hold a single thread of it.
To me, personally, I think Kokichi's behavioral shift is far too drastic, going from "I'm going to beat this killing game" to "I'm going to become a blackened and kill someone", to plotting with Gonta to mercy kill the whole class. I think this jump has only one true source--the madness of seeing the end of the world you and your fellow classmates have been killing each other over.
I know it's a difficult feeling to imagine--but that's probably why you think differently than me. I cannot fathom what it's like to see the end of the world--and how I personally would react to that, aside from pure devastation. I don't think any human being can truly comprehend what "the end of the world" would look or feel like--which is why the concept often appears in horror plots and the sort. I don't think our brains can truly comprehend becoming an endangered species, the world we knew to be suddenly inhabitable, to be on the brink of death and demise and know that everything you once loved has already left you behind.
So I ask you this as my answer: Do you really think that any human being on this earth could handle the end of the world?
My answer to my own question is: No. I don't think any human could mentally handle seeing what Kokichi saw--and that's why I don't think his "I am the Mastermind" plot is the cause of his personality shift during chapter 4.
It just doesn't make sense to me.
I'm sorry if this comes off as curt or rude--but the amount of asks I've gotten specifically about Chapter 4, and about my Mercy Kill Theory, with the sentiment of "Oh your theory must be incorrect, somehow", is far too grating on me. Never the mind asks that go and try to find loop holes to prove the theory wrong, but I digress--that is neither here nor there.
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terra-feminarum · 22 days ago
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I have complex feelings about the US. On November 5th it was night here and I saw nightmares, and woke up several times to check how the election is going.
I live on the other side of the Atlantic, in a completely different culture, different climate. Your language is completely unlike my native tongue, yet I write it and I think in it, even though I can hardly pronounce the words right.
When I was a little girl, I knew what US American fire hydrants and mailboxes looked like, and I tried to write songs in English. For my generation, our native tongue was embarrassing, and not many dared to admit they listened to music with Finnish lyrics, rather than English.
More and more of my words have been replaced by English, and the youth of today have replaced so much of our original vocabulary it seems like they can't really express themselves fully in Finnish anymore. We are ashamed of who we are, and we'd love to be American, or rather, we'd love to be the kind of Americans we see in the media. Obviously Americans didn't instill this shame in us, our sense of self was crushed before you came along. But there was this cultural void and the America flowed in to fill the emptiness.
In my young adulthood, I adopted the US American way of thinking about politics and social justice, and so did many others. I can't still put it into words well, but it has become clear we just took ideas straight from another context and forgot where we are and what happens here. My friends claim to be afraid of the police which is absurd, and they tell not to call the police to avoid violence, which just doesn't happen. We talk about whether having dreadlocks is ok while Finnish Roma have been ostracized for 500 years and it's considered more or less normal. We took the idea that white people are an oppressive monolith and forgot we ourselves had been under the rule of foreign people for so long we forgot our own culture and became severely alcoholic, we forgot we have been on this land for aeons and adopted the idea we're the invaders (we are, when it comes to Sápmi - but otherwise we know this land). Of course we adopted your ideas of sex and gender, too, while our language doesn't even have separate words for these concepts. We put English pronouns in our social media bios even though the idea of gendered pronouns doesn't make any sense.
We took your polarized politics and now some find their ideas from your right, and some from your left, considering it normal to not being able to have a conversation with a person you disagree with. We don't have a two-party system but now young people almost act like we do.
Most of my life, I've been watching American movies and series, while having only seen a couple of Swedish films, and zero to none Russian or Estonian movies. I can't speak the languages of my neighbors, and I don't have nuanced understanding of our complex shared histories.
A while back I met a person from the United States, and it was uncanny. She really spoke in the soft buzzing sounds I've heard on podcasts, and which to me, is the language of politics and the language of entertainment. And of course, she expected us to speak to her in her language. In a way, US is an abstract concept to me, a world laid on top of my real world. Things happen in relation to the US.
Yesterday I pondered what it would be like to stop following anything that happens in the US, and focus on what happens locally. I have empathy for you there, but why are you on a such a pedestal when there are Russians living under Putin right next to me? I don't mean you don't matter, but I wonder why do you matter so much more than every other nation? When I wondered should I quit following US Americans on social media, a friend laughed at me like I was an idiot and asked me why I'm not following the squirrels in the forest next to us.
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found--family · 9 months ago
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am i the only one who sensed some jilted lover vibes from jensen? 
#burcon#cockles#thoughts#at the start of the panel and through a few particular interactions he seemed very standoffish#he was giving a little bitter and hurt and perhaps even resentful - maybe he only learned of misha's gf#at this con too! maybe it was news to him. on top of not seeing misha for months i can understand#if he was feeling a bit neglected and out of the loop. there's also the matter of misha's gf not being#in a poly thing with jensen and dee like vicki was ie. what she has with misha is seperate so i'm sure#that's another difficult thing to deal with knowing their time together is strictly separate#i've no doubt he wants misha to have a partner and be happy but there's an adjustment period#letting new people into your life and whoever misha's partner is now or in the future is going to#affect jensen on a personal level and moreover his relationship with misha. it's all very intriguing#and while i like what little i've seen and heard about this woman for misha i just think no matter who#she is it's going to take a toll on jensen's relationship w misha. i thought it was plain to see on jensen's face#during their panel: numerous moments where he was giving a poker face that wasn't covering a laugh#but instead like he was trying to smooth out his bitterness. or so my eyes and brain and heart tell me.#just various moments where things looked uncomfortable and jensen making off-colour jokes that didn't land#and which furthermore were barbed and snarky - not in their usual banter way but like he was lashing out#and using the excuse of chaotic panel convo to explain away his comedic pitfalls. but again maybe i'm#looking to much into it? idk. there are some lovely moments! fun and caring moments - but they#mainly came from misha's direction ngl. it seemed like misha was trying hard to keep the peace#while jensen was just running his mouth on comments and jokes that kept not landing - for me#everyone on my dash is loving their dynamic this panel - and i want to feel that love! it is possible that#learning misha has a gf has skewed my perception a little like i'm putting context onto moments#i otherwise wouldn't. but i also think i would've laughed and generally felt better watching their panel#if that was the case. idk. whatever the reason i do think something was OFF between them on stage#and it was coming from jensen from the start. misha picked up on it partway though but things felt#a little strained throughout. like jensen wasn't looking at misha as much as usual or reaching out for him#misha tried to salvage and not react to things. but both their answers to the last Q were passive aggressive af#and when they left the stage together they weren't close or touching or chatting like they usually are...
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drusill-a · 1 year ago
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RTD is so in love with David Tennant that it makes him look stupid, huh.
#listen friends i dont know what to feel#i love everyone involved#I'm so happy that Donna has her memories back and will spend the rest of her life with her best friend by her side#but that ending felt like it was straight out of a christmas Hallmark movie; my teeth ache from all that saccharine sweetness#I'll be able to justify it if RTD is setting the stage for bringing Tennant and Tate into his UNIT spin-off which seems to be in the works#if that's not the reason it's hard for me to swallow this plot twist with the biregeneration#firstly: RTD did something similar at the end of the fourth season—splitting the Doctor to “give” one version to Rose#it's a bit annoying to see him essentially do the same now by letting another version of the Doctor to stay with Donna#secondly: I missed the emotion in this#I spent a week bracing myself for heartbreak but we went a bit too far in the other direction#we got a cutesy ending where everything resolves through a deus ex machina#yet it’s those bitter and grief-soaked moments are what RTD has always excelled at#when it comes to the Doctor's regeneration and farewells to companions#it's hard to feel much about this plot development#some things should remain final and some goodbyes and endings are unavoidable#the conclusion of Rose’s arc (both from s2 and s4) or Donna's ending in s4#were among the most emotionally intense moments in the history of television#I missed a bit of that here#perhaps if there were more bitterness in the 14th Doctor's ending if he had to pay some PRICE for this biregeneration#(like not getting his TARDIS#being told that the Fifteenth takes over the regeneration ability#and the Tennant Doctor will die of old age)#emotionally it would have provided viewers with a cool punch#without that it seems like RTD wanted to have his cake and eat it too#have a new Doctor and give his old characters a last-minute happy ending that doesn't make much logical sense#I was hoping to feel more considering how much I love these characters#but my main reaction is an eyeroll#on the positive side I really hope to see Neil Patrick Harris in the show again he was a great villain#and Ncuti Gatwa’s Doctor is already so freaking great!!! <3#doctor who
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kifu · 2 years ago
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Ramsey, the spotted monster.
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scramble-crossing · 1 year ago
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i deffo agree with your entire analysis (including the questionable canon of the anime canon) and yeah for sure the original game supports this imo. for one thing i don't think that hanekoma would have supported sho even as a back-up plan if he thought that sho would've destroyed shibuya or fundamentally ruined what HANEKOMA liked about it. hanekoma considered a shibuya under sho to be better than a shibuya erased by joshua, so whatever shibuya sho would've made couldn't have been a dumpsterfire or whatever. like not saying that sho would've kept things squeaky clean or something but hanekoma considered it 'good enough to support'. hanekoma isn't exactly the best but i think that he wouldn't have picked sho if he didn't think that sho had some attachment to shibuya.
in NEO we literally see him come back to his shibuya on W3D7 to fight soul pulvis even though he could've just fucked off. yeah we have the scene of neku "convincing" him, but the dude already came back to shibuya and decided to stay to fight for his city. he also literally warned rindo about soul pulvis and about the presence of angels (the japanese version with him talking about "hyper-real" numbers is even more obvious) back on W3D4 even before neku showed up!
the wicked twisters and all of shibuya would've lost without him and his contribution to operation: awakening. period. (along with everyone else)
he learned his lesson about teamwork! when he goes to another day, he makes a fuss about "you're joining MY team" but he actively walked up to the guy signing up team members and went "hey i need a team lol" like a student asking their teacher for help getting a partner for the group project. he's gone from "not a social animal" per megumi to "zetta dig[ing]" konishi's "style" to teaming up with the WTs to protect them to understanding the value of working together in an equation for the sake of his goals
also it's worth noting that the line about only doing it for his sake is slightly different in jp. neku says that they have to get to shiba as soon as they can and says "渋谷を守るため もし力を 貸してくれるなら――" (if you can lend us your strength to protect shibuya). sho interrupts him and says, "フン、俺は 俺の目的のために 動くだけだ" (hmph, i only work for my own goals/i do want what i want) basically, telling neku to stop telling him what to do. neku says, "それでいいよ おまえも渋谷を 狙って��だろ" (that's fine, since you're aiming for shibuya too, aren't you?) and then "その渋谷の崩壊は 許せないよな" (shibuya's erase would be unforgivable, right?/you can't allow shibuya to collapse, can you?). so like yeah it's similar to what the english script did but it has a very different implication. here neku isn't convincing him to help but rather being like, "yeah, you'll only do what you want to do, and i know that you're going to do things that help shibuya because you're aiming for it as well." like i said, we literally see sho ALREADY have been offering rindo helpful advice before neku even showed up.
he gives the WTs tons of advice in the first week that have nothing to do with his interest in soul pulvis but rather to expand their powers. in field walk rpg he has a ton of random character dialogue about how he loves random shit in shibuya like the holographic hachiko statue (tokyu plaza) because he thinks that dogs are stylin' or how he thinks that rhythms that shake the heart (specific to him being interested in picking up music records from tower records) are as beautiful as a flawless equation or whatever. why would he want to destroy all of that? he wouldn't
he doesn't even care if other people cart away his artworks! he didn't seethe about that in the og, just made more and then walked away
i agree with him being obsessed with beauty and art and probably shibuya's. i mean the guy wanders around the phone booth of love at molco and shit trying to pick up cool pieces for his next artwork (and leaving something precious of his own in its wake, suggesting that he isn't interested in stealing shit, he just has a unique value system of exchanging items and art and stuff), makes people play Tin Pin Slammer and doesn't even participate himself but just hangs out in the crowd watching and seethes when joshua cheats him out of an interesting match, and possibly even stuck negative noise on ken doi to catch their attention about ramen given that the negative noise in W1 was all mission-related that a reaper must've put on someone (and with their relationship in another day). he's not a "good person" but people treating him like he's evil or sadistic or whatever just pisses me off. he's an arrogant asshole who, as far as we can read from the text, genuinely wants to see a shibuya full of cool art projects and sick murals like the udagawa one he likes and cool people like the WTs with their interesting UG powers and stuff.
ok thanks for listening to my essay. 3.1415926
Hey there.....it's been a couple months and I live in shame
Thank you so so much for this I absolutely LOVE your thoughts! I wanna try to respond them in as organized a way I can so I'm gonna address each point individually and in chronological order.
First of all, I 100% agree with what you've said about Hanekoma. If he wasn't able to directly remove Joshua from power even when he threatened Shibuya's very existence, and instead had to approach him in an extremely tedious and roundabout manner by guiding Neku when he could and using Sho as a sort of half-proxy, there's no way he would've shoved a dangerous or otherwise incompetent person into the Composer's seat and forced himself to repeat this whole process weeks later once Sho had a grip on Shibuya. Like you said, "hanekoma considered a shibuya under sho to be better than a shibuya erased by joshua," and that means something coming from a person who belongs to a class of beings who willingly "purify" cities that do not live up to their standards. It's not impossible to think that if Hanekoma thought Sho unfit and saw no other alternative, he would've come to see Shibuya as a lost cause and let it fall, preferring a dignified end over allowing it to rot and fester as a shell of its former self. Granted, he doesn't exactly sing Sho's praises. He certainly seems to view him as being convenient over an actual good candidate for the position. However, regardless of the fact that Hanekoma's criteria seems to be "the biggest, most unlikable freak in the UG," I think my previous point still stands. Would Sho have been a good Composer? Impossible to know for sure, but if nothing else we can extrapolate from what we understand of Hanekoma's values that he would've at the very least safeguarded Shibuya against erasure and kept it intact enough to still be worthy of existence in the eyes of some very, very picky Angels. And this is saying something when Joshua refers to Shibuya as being a massive influence on the world around it, so much so that he fears it corrupting other sectors of the UG. To put it simply, maybe Sho just passed the bar when it came to Hanekoma's standards, but that bar was set extremely high. Also! Just in case anyone mentions it, while Hanekoma saying that he relied on Sho's attachment to Shibuya is exclusive to the anime, technically speaking it's canonical that NEO is a sequel to the anime rather than the game. It's still very much relevant to Sho's character in NEO, if not his character in the original game...
Which leads right into your next points! Just for a moment, I want to jump to what you said about the japanese version of the game because I find it extremely interesting. That's SUCH a different implication from what we get in the english version!! Whereas we're given more of a sense that Neku is corralling Sho into working with him and the rest of the Wicked Twisters on the basis that he can't be Composer without a city to rule, basically using his preexisting goal to try to get him to adopt a new one, that of saving Shibuya, here he's saying that he knows that Sho already has a goal of saving Shibuya. It's less "Look here asshole, you have to save Shibuya because you can't be Composer without it," and more "You and I both know that you want to save Shibuya, so stop being so stubborn and help us out already!" Yes it's subtle, but personally I think it lines up better with the version of Sho that's put forward by the anime's ending, and, perhaps more importantly, lends better to interpretations of Sho's motivations In english, it reads closer to "Sho wants to be the Composer -> therefore he must save Shibuya. In japanese, it can more easily be read as "Sho wants to save Shibuya -> Ergo, he clearly cares about Shibuya -> Sho wants to be the Composer because he cares about Shibuya. Again, it's minor stuff, but the japanese version, I feel, more obviously connects his motives with his actions, presenting him helping to save Shibuya as a natural result of his affection for the city instead of it being an obstacle in his way or a diversion from his ambitions. It's really a shame that this nuance is lost in the english version. Sho is already kind of a mess in the fact that it can be difficult to discern what the writers are trying to do with him. He's built up as a persistent and deadly threat all throughout twewy only to be unceremoniously killed off in a scene that feels more like a bit than an actual serious story beat. Neo's promotional material paraded him as a core character in the protagonist's group, and yet he ends up being booted out 1/3 of the way into the story and made unplayable until post-game. He is one of the most integral characters to the plot, and yet what, in the end, does he have to show for it? Nothing! He leaves the secret ending having returned to the exact same position he was in at the start of the first game, at the exact same level of power, still gunning to take on the Composer. It feels like he's being used as sequel-bait in a series where it took 14 years to make another game, not to mention the fact that the last time something interesting was implied to be happening to him, A.K.A A New Day where he was positioned to become Neku's partner, that plot thread was dropped hard and absolutely nothing came of it. I'm not saying he's been completely abandoned by the narrative. He's definitely shown to have improved as a person since the events of the first game, and I love that! I love his cryptic mentor/moderately shit big brother arc and the fact that Neku, Mr. Twewy himself, is willing to put his faith in him. But to me at least it feels like he's being underutilized, especially in comparison to characters like Beat, who I love, but who certainly didn't need as much as he got in neo given that he had a totally satisfactory arc by the end of the first twewy. Sho is perfect for a redemption arc that's reminiscent of Neku's while still being unique and complex, one that would fit seamlessly with twewy's themes of growth and the necessity of human connection. If we ever get another twewy game and this is exactly what happens I will kiss neo on the lips for being the PERFECT in-between phase and kick-off for this arc, but I mean...it's twewy. Waiting for another game to complete his storyline is like pushing Sho off a cliff with nothing to catch him but a prayer and the world's shittiest little kiddy pool. Also the hose that's trying to fill it with water is clogged by a giant knot in the shape of mickey mouse ears.
But I've gotten sidetracked. Mostly because it's been so long that I totally forget the post that spurred this ask in the first place. I might be stupid. But honestly I think you've already put it perfectly. I'm especially grateful for the info on the field walk rpg because it's something I know very little about. I'm glad Sho got to have a fun day out with his child soldiers/teenage besties :] Overall, it's absolutely true that Sho is a very morally complex character. I tend to dislike labels like "good person" vs "bad person" because it leaves little room for nuance, something that this series is chock-block full of. The idea that Sho is an utterly selfish and sadistic individual who can never truly change irks me because it's so antithetical to the messages of this series, "Anyone can change for the better," and, "By letting others in, approaching their different worldviews and values with genuine, good faith, and by extending compassion towards each other, we make the world a better place for both ourselves and the people around us." Sho is doing this. It may be with baby steps, but it's clear from his interactions with the Wicked Twisters, as well as his enthusiasm for art that is not his own whereas before he expressed disdain for any artistic vision that wasn't his, that he is making an effort to be better and allowing these experiences to change his worldview. If he is never extended the same narrative reward that other characters are shown for this exact same kind of growth, if he is instead trapped in this cycle of scratching and clawing and desperately yearning for some sense of divinity only to crash fantastically, met with violence and isolation and the loss of the few, good things he's managed to scrape out of life...well that'd be pretty miserable, I think.
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red-hemlock · 11 months ago
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Rate your muse’s traits 0-10!
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Compassion: 6/10 Bitterness: 10/10* Happiness: 7/10 Politeness: 4/10 Chivalry: 3/10 Pride: 10/10* Honesty: 5/10* Bravery: 8/10 Recklessness: 7/10 Ambition: 8/10 Loyalty: 9/10* Love: 8/10 Sense of family: 10/10* Attractiveness: ?/10* Agility: 7/10 Sex drive: 6/10
Tagged by: @cxpperhead Tagging: @babydxhl, @corvidamned, @mister-bloom, @mirrordread, @mute-call, @ofwealthandtaste, @rubycaped, @hippievibing, @brokentoys, @oneinsanecat, (And anyone else who wants to do this!)
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ichorblossoms · 4 months ago
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oh shit yeah grimm and yarrow are exes to lovers huh
#tbf i don't rly think of my writing in tropes. even then exes to lovers doesn't cross my mind as often as friends- or enemies- to lovers#as in it's like. slightly less common? idfk i don't pay all that much attention to that. it's also not a trope i inherently jump at as#someone who personally does not find the thought of getting back with an ex remotely appealing#however. when my characters are stupid about these things...#i think it didn't cross my mind bc they don't. formally break up so i kinda forgot they're technically exes at the beginning of p2#it's like 'i need to fucking book it bc i killed a guy and his guys want my head for that but i'll come back [doesn't do that for. five#years and mostly comes back bc they're out of options]' not 'it's fucking over' yknow?#their relationship by the end of p1 is kind of funky though. it's absolutely romantic in nature but grimm is. kind of a mess bc it's got#this tension of wanting to simultaneously get close to someone and not let them in so the two of them actually don't get all that far?#they're both too afraid to have sex about it that's for sure#i'm not even sure what they call their relationship at that point either. for grimm's sake i don't think they'd really call it anything#in essence it ends with a lot of broken promises that weren't quite promises yknow?#if grimm hadn't booked it i think eventually the two of them might've sorted out their shit but also there's a v high chance grimm would've#fucked things over for good. actually now that i think about it they probably would have run off at some other point#i also think it's important for yarrow's development that grimm fucked off. gotta add some bitterness to that mixture there#you see the five years between p1 and p2 are essential for character development. they gotta marinate in who the fuck they are#make themselves a bit better. make themselves a bit worse. date someone else for a year or so. as it goes#i'm fully rambling here but. what the fuck ever that's what this blog is for#at all times i want to talk about my characters. i only occasionally find a way to make it into a post#grimmyarrow
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thekimspoblog · 6 months ago
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Demon trying to feed on my insecurities: "You're a bad driver"
Me: "Of course I am. I hate driving. Going 80 mph surrounded by tons of metal is nerve-wrecking. I try to do it as little as possible. Of course I'm bad at it"
Demon: "You're a bad writer"
Me: "Well that part's simply not true. I never claimed I was the greatest author of my generation, but when I put pen to paper I know what I want to communicate and I usually do it well. If someone isn't impressed with my work, that's unfortunate but they're entitled to their opinion"
Demon: "You're a bad leader"
Me: "Well I don't know about that! I mean there was that one time when... Ok look just because people don't see me as an authority figure doesn't mean... 😠 You know you can be a real asshole, demon!"
#joking aside the reason I suck at helping people is probably not dissimilar from why I'm bad at driving#the joke is “having good ideas which would work if people let you boss them around” and#“having enough charisma to persuade people to let you boss them around” are two different skills and I don't have nearly enough patience#for the latter#but no really it makes me deeply insecure seeing sycophants rally around the most transparently incompetent and self-interested POS people#and meanwhile I'm getting called shrill and presumptuous for pointing out that the left-wing is poorly organized and I could do it better#can we agree it's at least a little bit because I have aspergers and no penis?#like I realize what I'm doing is the political equivalent of “but I'm such a nice guy!” and I'm literally complaining that no one#respects ma authoritah#but just saying: maybe I wouldn't come off as such a petulant misanthrope#if I wasn't constantly being asked to fix problems that could have been avoided if everyone listened to me in the first place#“nobody likes an i-told-you-so” yeah that's why democracies keep falling to fascism cus you want someone pleasant over someone correct#at the same time sooner or later you have to look in the mirror#and I can count the group projects I've successfully headed on one hand; maybe it's me#if it was just that people don't listen to me than yeah this would just mean I have an ego#but there are plenty of women the left could be rallying around and it doesn't because of minor scandals and anarchist ideals#it's stupid and I'm becoming a tankie just because i'm sick of the idea#that political goals can be accomplished without a clear chain of commmand#i don't need to be the leader but WE NEED A LEADER#the hatian revolution succeeded because Toussaint Louverture organized random slave rioting into an actual army#and I just wish I had that kind of magic myself but I might already be too bitter#ftr this isn't in response to anything that happened recently I'm just still mad thinking about an anarchist group I tried to join#on facebook five years ago where I asked point blank what the marching orders were and got blocked for being “obviously a cop”#and the mod comes at me with “anarchists don't have leaders IDIOT”#yeah well you're the guys always saying you only oppose UNJUST hierarchies idiot!#excuse me for thinking you guys had a plan beyond perpetual infighting#not everyone asking blunt questions about the anarchist platform are feds you guys are just paranoid and ableist#and when you block people for asking what game plan is it really sounds like you just plain don't have one (which is depressing)#I don't care how many books there are about how anarchism is more than just “wanting a free-for-all”#if you attack anyone who tries to impose a hierarchy just to get shit done it really seems like that first impression of
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eggmeralda · 6 months ago
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I need a massive sudden hyperfixation shock to happen again
#that era when i'd just got out of the onceler divorce of summer 2021. and then listened to everywhere at the end of time in october#and it was ruining my life and i couldn't sleep and there was nothing really good happening#like it wasn't Bad bc at least i wasn't depressed anymore like i was in the summer but it was still just dead. and i couldn't get#the last 6 minutes of eateot out of my head#and then. suddenly. got shot with the *blurry screenshot of stan and kyle as adults* beam#south park post covid trailer released. everyone who had ever been in that fandom was awakening from their graves#it was like 'future episode??' 'why have they got noses' 'what the fuckkkk' 'is anything real anymore?' etc#it was such big news that it instantly shocked me out of my existential crisis and reawakened that hyperfixation for the 9347384th time#and i vividly remember going on tumblr the morning after it aired and trying to avoid spoilers bc i hadn't watched it yet#but i accidentally saw a sentence something along the lines of 'kenny's a billionaire philanthropist now' and. ok i had to see a picture?#so i did and he looked like the epitome of a cool uncle#and then i was walking to uni that morning probably looking like i was crying or something bc like. kenny successful future#and the whole thing just brought my general mood up so much?? so by the time it was 2022 i was absolutely fine#and then 2022 was so good. up until like august and september#and things got a bit dangerous again like my mood was alright but the slightest thing could bring it down#and then my best friend/housemate got a girlfriend and it was that whole drama and her existence basically ruined my last year of uni#and since then i've become so bitter and cynical and all victimy and it's so annoying and i don't even realise i'm doing it#so now i only ever notice negative things happening and have done since like the end of 2022#and i just need one of my old hyperfixations to do something insane again. like sp post covid.#i need. idk victor hugo to come back to life and publish notre dame de paris 2. or something#or for pip to come back to south park. that would actually fix me forever tbh#or the golden ratio to announce they're touring the uk for free. okay no ykw that would fix me#orrrrrrrrr idk. secret history made into a film but it's actually good#anyway. the south park kids as adults with noses set off an entire like 8 months of Pure Optimism in 2022 and i need her back more than ever#ramble
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therevengeoffrankenstein · 4 months ago
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openly weeping at the idea of someone genuinely hating soul punk.
#like it makes sense obviously that people would. i guess. but i thought most people who didn't like it just didn't like#it because they didn't like patrick all that much or it was too different or they were just upset about fob's hiatus.#like idk i feel like calling patrick's lyricism bad is a little unfair.#like not to compare 2 bad bitches but he's right there. so pete writes comparatively just as cheesy lyrics.#i like that. don't get me wrong. 'cheesy' as a compliment. but like. patrick's lyrics r 2 cheesy 4 u? the fob fan?#like yes he uses a fash buzzphrase in 'dance miserable.' but i am almost certain he didn't think through the implications of it#and 'people never done a good thing' has like. weird liberal ableism in it. but that one was a bonus track and once again reads#very much like something he just. didn't think about very hard. still bad. but it's better than him doing it on purpose.#especially given how much of soul punk actually is actively trying very hard 2 be progressive and the former within the context of the song#reads more as overly cynical than like. actually fash. but he should've phrased it in a non fash-y way. yes.#it reminds me of the 'manifest destiny' line in 'high hopes' by panic actually.#like that's a buzzphrase that they totally didn't think through at all and that's. bad. really bad.#but it's also kinda funny given how liberal democrat these bands and ppl tend to try to come off.#like nobody caught that in 'high hopes?' all those writers in the room and nobody caught that?#was it like a 'maybe someone else will say something' '*crickets*' kinda sitch on that one bc. lol. lmao even.#i hope the white liberal guilt sits with them on that one.#but i digress. soul punk. that's two songs (including one bonus track) with a questionable lyric each.#otherwise both perfectly fine songs.#that being said yeah. sometimes the cynical liberal stuff grates on even me a little at times. like i feel it i really do and i think#patrick makes some important points but it's so bitter. even when he's writing *more about relationships it's just like damn dude.#(*asterisk because everything is political.)#AND I GET WHY. obviously. patrick is just like that a little bit and he was Going Through It. more relevant on truant wave tbh#because i think that mindset works better on soul punk.#i could understand the cynicism maybe tanking somebody's opinion of soul punk but it doesn't really bother me enough to alter my score.#also i understand it's the best song on the album but idk about ppl saying cryptozoology as a single. doesn't totally defeat#the purpose of the song and it would've also been powerful as a single#but it's just such a beautiful Fuck You to have it as a hidden track.#patrick stump#myevilposts
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lumalalu · 4 months ago
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why on earth do you even want a fe4 remake if you dont want anything to change just go play the original game.
#i want the story to be more fleshed out#someone on this subreddit thread im. vaguing lol mentioned that the castles functioning somewhat like the my castle system in fef would be#fun and i reallyyyyy agree or like a camp set up?#the long maps i want preserved bc . thats one of this games defining features#the secret spots id like to have some indication of there being Something There#not necessarily the sparkles lol but like#something like a random statue. a landmark that makes u go i wonder if theres a secret there and there is#i think fe4s mechanics could use a SERIOUS REVAMP and other ppl have mentioned the castle guarding mechanic is#interesting and fun but tehres only a few maps that really incentivize you to guard them#which is like. whats the point of using the slow armored units at all when the maps are too big to utilize them#and theyre only useful in a few battles#but also the take + defend format is really fun for a strategic rpg so i think they should use that more!!! make it interesting!#i could take or leave a personal avatar. i dont really get the hate for them they dont. add or subtract much to a story and i think the hat#for new mystery specifically is a) poor analysis of why it as a remake did not do well#esp in the light of shadows#and b) literally not even that big of a deal . genuinely.#ALSO WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU WANT THE HOLY BLOOD TAKEN OUT OF THE GAME ITS A MAJOR PLOT POINT#ARE YOU AN IDIOT. I THINK MAYBE YOU JUST DONT LIKE THE GAME.#ppl also were talkign a lot abt 'redeeming' 'villians' which is like. i think some other major plot points may have flown over your head#... tbh the thing id hate is if visually it looked like the most recent games#the move to the switch has made for some of the most unattractive map and environment design ever esp coming off the tail of fates and shad#ws. fates is not a good game overall but its environment design is BEAUTIFUL and makes for very fun maps and shadows achieved the explorati#n mechanics three houses wanted to use so badly but sucked ass at#if they dont bring back pixelized icons im gonna be . not surprised but really bitter abt it#overall i just want the gameplay to be a bit more accessable and the story revamped (like how shadows expanded on gaidens story)#and anything else on top of that is extra experimentation which could be interesting or lame#i dont have strong opinions on that bc the thing i DONT want is for it to be the exact same#bc that defeats the purpose of a remake.#literally why do igo on reddit ever/#visually if it took a queue from octopath traveller i would be ecstatic
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medicinemane · 8 months ago
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Seriously, it would be a mercy to kill me. I'm begging for help dying. Do you not see why it's fucking torture to keep my alive while living with her? I'll never escape her, like there's just no practical way to make it happen
And yet, till I get my act together and find a way to die already, show must go on
#you can't stand still; no matter how miserable you are there's shit you got to do#lord knows I'm bad at it and it takes me forever; I'm not even close to good enough or getting enough done#but still... I slowly work at it and occasionally do things like get rid of the trailer by myself#and in return I get lovely anons telling me to stop using my one point of socialization and to go get some help#my misery repulses them and I really need to fix it before I get back on the internet#and I'm so sleep deprived and in so much pain from having to be a therapist today; especially with how bad it was today#that I'll just be blunt that if I could distill every bit of pain I feel#I'd fucking seep it into people's bones when they say shit like that#I want to see how you deal with it; I want to see if you writhe just by living my life#I've told you all so many times that I'm bitter and cruel and that you only don't see it because I'm polite#there's a reason I identify so much with Soulcutter as a sword#and it's because I'd call it the sword of depression almost as much as I'd call it the Tyrant Blade or Sword of Despair#the way it's described; like it drains the will out of you meaning that even the idea of holding it aloft becomes tiring#...I could fucking wield it; I know how#that's not a blade you draw; you rest your hand on the hilt and let the misery eat into everyone carving them up#and you realize how pointless it is to even bother keeping your hand there and let it go limp and slide off#and frankly if I had it I'd be real tempted to carve a path of despair through the world... especially anywhere policy makers were#I'll work with everything I have to make sure no one ever feels like me; or as few people and make them feel as little of it#but it would be a lie to say I didn't want to force you all to feel it exactly as I feel it#then you come back to me and tell me all the ways I'm not doing enough and need to fix my depression this way or that way#you feel the decades of total isolation and you tell me if I'm doing as badly as you've decided I am
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nappingmoon · 2 months ago
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modern au where your husband nanami is a literature professor and he sits you on his lap while he reads essays and prepares lecture material. he gets so used to the weight of you on his thigh, the warmth of your body against his, that eventually, he finds that he cannot focus without you there.
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nanami is a little sheepish when he enters the living room, hemming a little bit in a way that’s very uncharacteristic of your lover. your eyes stray from the show playing on the television, now curiously tracking his small movements. you pause the contents on the tv before greeting him. “hi baby, you okay? how’s grading going?”
nanami’s hand reaches up to adjust his glasses before he releases a little sigh. “not well, my love.” his voice is quiet, the deep timber a comforting sound. he walks into the kitchen as he continues, “I’ve been working on reading these papers, but I find my mind straying far too much.” he finishes his sentence while pouring water into the kettle, placing it then on the stove.
“is that so?” you ask, leaning over the arm of the chair, enjoying, as always, the sight of your lover doing mundane tasks— the domesticity of it never ceasing to affect you, even after years of marriage. “where’s your mind been going?” despite the question, you have an idea and the smile on your face betrays it.
nanami hesitates as retrieves two cups from the cupboard; the beautiful, delicate china a wedding gift that has become the staple for holding your evening teas. “you, darling. though it is becoming apparent that you already knew that, tease.” he grumps at the end without malice.
“I assumed, but I always love to hear it.” you giggle in return. “want me to come keep you company?”
he’s nearly done pouring your teas, steeping the loose leaves in your favorite tea holders. “yes, please. if you’d like, you can watch your show in the room. I just prefer you do it next to me.”
“that’s alright, I was getting bored of it anyways. plus, i’d rather watch that quirk in your eyebrow when you find that your student has used ‘perchance’ incorrectly again.”
“minx.” he chides. “keep making fun of me and i’ll forget to put in your sugar.”
“I yield! I yield,” you laugh, raising your hands high in defeat. “it’s far too bitter without the sugar, I don’t know how you make do.”
the small spoon clinks as he finishes stirring in your honey and sugar, and he lays it down in the sink before picking up the cups, each sitting in their own decorated porcelain plates. you rise from the couch, quickly pressing the ‘off’ button on the remote before padding over to your husband.
you gently nudge your way under his arm, wary of the tea he’s carrying, and nuzzle yourself into him. you walk in tandem to your room approaching the warm glow of his desk lamp. “I don’t need any more sugar; you’re enough for me, sweetness.”
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a/n: you can’t just say perchance
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