#if they don't both die tomorrow
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happily enjoying some fucking around in the lower city
"oh hey yay I finally found Jaheira's house, I totally missed this on my last game"
".... Rite of the Timeless Body?"
ah.
boy, this game really feels different in small, unexpected ways when you play a character that's in love with an immortal, huh.
#squirrel plays bg3#i originally intended to fight lorroakan today for the robe downstairs#buuuut i guess having Iona have a bit of an existential crisis over her mortality and potential looming death is good too#first Isobel talking about the difficulty of loving an immortal when they were still all... weird about each other#now finding this and having that conversation with Jaheira....#yeah i think Iona might spend a couple nights just thinking about death now#and having a weird uncomfortable but overall rewarding conversation with Astarion about... the future???? maybe???#if they don't both die tomorrow#he's got the emotional intelligence of a teaspoon and she's as open to sharing as a sealed pickle jar let's goooooo#oc: iona raedir
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made mom coffee + breakfast before her nap
took my meds
made myself a good big filling breakfast
set up the first of three? dish loads to soak in the sink
#charlie babbles#I also put the lid on the trash can to minimize stink and bug attraction#I should probably put up a couple of fly strips also perhaps#I would put the bag in the basement when it gets full but uh. the mice#also when inside and outside temps equalize I'm gonna open all the windows and put the box fans in two of them and cool down the house#as much as I can ahead of tomorrow so we don't die#we won't die but we both hate high temps and it's supposed to be in the 90s for the next three days#bleh
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@crosseddestiny said: “[ assist ] sender finds receiver has fallen down, so they rush to their aid and help them stand again (from frank okay i'll leave your askbox alone now)"
{♚ x PROMPTS FOR COMFORTABLE INTIMACY || Accepting x}
The instructions had been clear, but by no means easy: scout the area for potential supplies, and report back to their small settlement and his grandfather to see if he deemed it worth sending some men out.
It was his first time out by himself, and Matt was determined to prove he was capable of taking on a more important role. And while he could certainly hold his own in a fight — human, or otherwise — he hadn't been ready for how big of a toll simply having to survive in the wild would take on him. He'd brought along rations, sure, but realization that it wasn't enough had set in quickly. There were no supplies to be found nearby, and he had to travel much further than initially anticipated.
Water had run out about two days ago and he had yet to find a reliable source he could drink from. And there was no denying that it was taking a toll on him. Survival skills never had been his strong suit. And now, as he could feel his body growing weaker, Matt regretted not being a better student and practicing harder. Little too late now, of course.
He wasn't sure when exactly he'd passed out. But when he came back to, someone was helping him back up. His first instinct was to pull away, to assess and possibly eliminate the threat, but his body refused to listen. Instead, he simply slumped more against whoever was evidently helping him. It clearly wasn't one of those abominations, or else he'd probably be dead by now. Not that that wasn't a possibility still, of course. "I have nothing," he muttered, lifting his head enough to be able to look at the other. "So if you plan on killing me, just save us both some time and get it over with."
#{♚ x v; There are a million ways we should’ve died before today‚ and a million ways we can die before tomorrow. [TLOU] x}#crosseddestiny#I don't have anything concrete set up yet for a tlou verse so.. I left things a little vague#Both for Matt and Frank#But I think I have an idea?#{♚ x A bird does not sing because it has an answer. It sings because it has a song [ANSWERED] x}
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The amount of things Pedro Pascal has been working on last year and also this year is insane I hope his back is doing okay.
#the last of us#the last of us hbo#the last of us fanart#tlou#tlou fanart#tlou hbo#pedro pascal#joel miller#joel miller fanart#pedro pascal fanart#art#digital art#my art#doodle#idk if i love troy's or pedro's interpretations of joel better#cause both of them are MUAH chef's kiss#also i passed a very important final on monday and i cannot be happier#and im starting my last year of med school tomorrow and i'm SCARED#let's hope this year is awesome or at least i don't die HASDHA#i also wanna draw some mando eventually lets hope i have time hh
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felt like finally writing that piece where violante kills ruven and forms the pact with her patron and i swear the things this piece is doing to my brain are fantastic
(next one is slightly gore-y sorry)
they are best friend, they hate each other, they are everything the other has, they are nothing, they are the you are the knife i turn inside myself
#rena.txt#i want to keep writing soooooooooooooooooooooo bad rn but i need to wake up at like 6:30 tomorrow#don't be fooled by vio's kicked dog vibes that's the victim complex speaking she's both the judge and the executioner and i love her madly#idk what happens to me when i write for her i become so edgy jsdkjfs sorry i'm NOT like this#ALSO she's right here. but also not in general. but ruven really deserved to die sorry i stand by women's wrongs only <3
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I'm going to Galaxycon this weekend and for the first time I'm going to attempt cosplaying one of the two days I'm going
So obviously that meant rounding up my Aizawa costume (I JUST REALIZED I FORGOT TO PUT THE GOGGLES WITH THE COSTUME) and knowing that considering how hot natured I am I will probably become not Aizawa by the end of the day
#if mom goes to bed early tomorrow i'm dying my hair black even though i also have to pack tomorrow night 😅#i have a hard time doing things like dying my hair when she's still up because it's so weird to both announce i'll be doing that#i also just really don't like spending like an entire hour in the bathroom when people are doing things outside the bathroom#i'm very excited to die of heat stroke as aizawa#but yeah i'm dying my hair and bring my shirt that looks like the ua gym shirt so at the very least if my long sleeves and wig#get too hot i can magical girl transform into high school lawn mower accident aizawa#since that's what my haircut looks like#my other thought was dying my hair purple again and transforming into shinsou
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grabbing the ichi plush by the neck and death gripping it like 'good things are to come its all going to be ok good things are to come' like its a lucky amulet
#snap chats#i didnt even pre order the ichi plush but spiritually i did. good luck charm.#anyway rant time look away from here. Im At My Limit <- i say this every week#I DONT EVEN KNOW WHATS WRONG <- lying. my moms home#i just feel terrible again. i feel so awful i gave myself a headache from being upset#do you know how upset you have to be to give yourself a headache just sitting and thinking#that happened when i was taking a spanish test once but i think i was just so stupid my brain actually started to hurt trying to think#i also remember being sad as hell that day tho so....... maybe it was both#everyday it feels like im sad thats so fucked up and theres nothing i can do about it#ALSO IT'S RAINING AGAIN rain never promises anything good unless you're a plant#im working but i should have this done in. idk a few hours#and then its the weekend right.... there's no limitations for sadness though brother doesn't run on a schedule#unless we're talking about seasonal depression but we know what i mean#ew im supposed to go to that con tomorrow i dont even know if i want to go anymore#i just don't want to do anything anymore ig is the vibe#idk i have a journal to whine bout all this in ╮(╯-╰)╭ squeezing ichi plush is a mood tho so im still posting#maybe if i play a lil y7 ill remember theres good things to wake up for..#also i gave myself another headache OWOWOWOW STOP when will it end#wait let me be sad again because my dad said we'd hang out today or tomorrow#but i just know that's not happening and now im even more sad WEHHH no one loves me etc etc die#sometimes you just need a melodramatic teenager moment i think we're all due that right like once a month#ok i have to stop my head really hurts ☠️☠️☠️
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me, a former nancy wheeler writer, watching the stranger things fandom oust its SECOND sincerely disgusting human in the span of just a few days.
#are y'all good ? do you need a cookie ?#like not making light of either situation both of those people#are not fit for human consumption and have genuinely ruined lives#but since i don't care if those people live forever or die tomorrow#i am worried about Y'ALL still over there are you OK?#come on over here i'll make you some tea#º ✧ 。 i’m still out but i’ll grab some stuff at the store ooc shit
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after the trials of today, if anything happens to those 8 vats of tea i made, i am going to go full ???%
#speculation nation#peppering some mp100 references into my lexicon as evidence that i am rewatching it rn#anyeays yea theres so much fucking tea in there and im just thinking about ppl spilling it. any of it.#i would go full crazy i am NOT joking#two of them are on wheels. like suitcases. you can tilt them back and they'll roll#except the lids dont seal right so you really cant do that w/o spilling whatever's inside#so i wrote on both their lids 'Dont tilt!!!' complete with three ! each#if they decide to tilt after we give them to them that's on them.#I KNOW. IT'S SO TEMPTING. THEY LOOK LIKE THEY SHOULD BE ABLE TO BE TILTED#but half a year ago i trailed hot water all the way from our store across the bridge into downtown bc i was pulling it along for the event#that shit does Not seal. Don't Fucking Tilt#anyways tomorrow i have to deal with the challenge of prepping 240 servings of boba xoxoxo wish me luck & hopes that i dont die
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SOMEONE PICK UP THE BLOODY PHONE
CAUSE I FUCKING CALLED IT
#wandering over the words#August plays games#(spoilers for Mafia don't look)#I KNEW IT I KNEW IT KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNE W ITTTTTTTT#OH I CALLED IT#I FUCKING CALLED IT REAL GOOD#I KNEW SAM WAS GONNA DIE AND I KNEW I WOULD HAVE TO KILL HIM#I HAD A HUNCH HE WAS GONNA DIE AND I WAS LIKE ''WELL IF HE DOES TOMMY PROBABLY DOES IT#CAUSE HE'S TALKING TO THE COPPER SO I IMAGINE SHIT'S GONNA GO DOWN AND IT'LL BE SAM VS TOMMY.''#BUT I THOUGHT HE'D DIE LIKE. AFTER THE TALK W/ THE COPPER. NOT BEFORE. FUCK.#I HAD A HUNCH FROM THE /BEGINNING/ SAM DIES SO EVERY TIME HE GOT HURT I WAS LIKE ''IS THIS IT. IS THIS HOW IT HAPPENS.''#I KNEW PAULIE WAS GONNA DIE AS SOON AS HE SAID HE'D SEE TOMMY TOMORROW#I'M A FUCKING WRITER I KNOW THE SIGNS POINTING TO ''THIS CHARACTER'S GONNA BE FUCKIN DEAD THE NEXT TIME YOU SEE THEM''#TWO BULLETS TO THE HEAD. JUST LIKE BEFORE. FUCK.#OH I CRIED. FOR BOTH OF THEM.
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i am losing my fucking miiiiind
#i have a new years eve 'party' with a few friends tomorrow and I made the mistake of mentioning to friend N that I was gonna make cookies#and fudge to bring because. you know. i like cookies and fudge. duh. self-explanatory. i want to bring cookies and fudge.#and N (who i stg needs to be With Her Friends at least six days a week or she will die or something) was like 'we should bake them#together that morning!'#and i knew i couldn't say no because any time I say no or that I don't want to do something or that I don't like something it becomes#a fucking interrogation so i was like fine. whatever. we can bake them together.#except THEN she said that she doesn't like fudge!!! so let's not make fudge!!! oh but actually she has a gReAt cookie recipe from her#baking class last semester! we should use that! and we should make cupcakes too!#and i'm like GIRL????? THE WHOLE GODDAMN POINT WAS THAT I WANTED SOME MOTHERFUCKING FUDGE????#so fine. whatever. i just made fudge and I can cut it up tomorrow and bring it like i'd planned#because i knew if i said i really wanted to make fudge with her she'd get all pouty and 'pretend she's fine' but not really#and i didn't want to deal with that. i know how to make fudge. i can make my own fudge.#and then she mentioned that she didn't really like vanilla cupcakes but hey we can totally make both vanilla and chocolate cupcakes!#which is great because i like both! so that works out really well!#well i offered to bring the vanilla cake mix and guess what.#no come on guess#you'll never guess#she said i didn't have to worry about that because she doesn't really like vanilla cupcakes :D#GIRL??? WE HAD THIS CONVERSATION????#AND she said she'd buy the ingredients and waited until today and then had a panic attack and didn't leave the house SO that's gonna cut#into our baking time tomorrow. which honestly I would be thrilled about if her two solutions were either I meet her at the store at#baking o'clock OR she goes shopping first thing and then we still meet at her house at baking o'clock#like no! go buy them! i'll meet you at baking:30#I'll meet you at baking + one hour#i lack the mental capacity for this I stg#i wish she had more than three friends because she's the only friend I see on a regular basis and it's still not nearly enough for her#OOOOH FRIEND H WITH THE CLUTCH! SHE SAYS SHE PREFERS CHOCOLATE CUPCAKES SO WE'RE MAKING BOTH NOW#you know. if we have time. since we have to buy the ingredients first.#it's gonna be a trainwreck i already know it#we baked together one (1) time and that was my birthday cake (and I tried to say I didn't like x flavor and she was like 'but whyyy it's so
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#it's a shame that I don't have a gun where I could be confident that I could kill myself#both cause I'm pretty sure I know what you're supposed to aim for; and because there's no chance medical help could get here in time#the reason I don't hang myself is because I'm only about 80% sure that things would hold#I just don't trust that belt; not quite enough anyway; and I'd trust my knot work less not to mention I lack a rope#...basically; what I really don't trust is everything to hold once my unconscious body starts flailing#if I failed there's a good chance I'd wind up with brain damage... and fuck man... I can't even get by as is#so basically I either have to do it right in one go; or I need to wait till I can make sure I'll do that#that's the only reason I'm not killing myself... well... if not right now; then tonight... yesterday... tomorrow#just can't be sure enough#of course I'm afraid of dying; but frankly today or in a hundred years... it doesn't change anything; there I just have to plunge#but my real fear is fucking things up#I need to get my hands on a gun; I need to die; I'm so utterly unfit to live and just such a useless blight on the world#I provide nothing; I need to be gone
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Ignore
#delete later#the issue with having no emotional object permanence is that every bad situation is the worst thing ive ever experienced#my grandad died five years ago so i know ive felt grief before as an adult. but the emotions i felt have no permanence so#i have no concept of how it felt. so knowing that my aunt is going to die soon feels like the most painful thing I've ever felt#and it means i cant really think of much else. and i fucked up aGAIN at work today. and my manager is getting fucking tired of it#but like im really trying. like i checked those things. i just didnt see them. its frustrating. im not processing anything correctly#and my grandma losing her younger brother. and watching my mum and aunt losing their sister. is making me ao so so scared#of losing mine. I've never processed how close it was. abd now i feel like im just re experiencing it at random times. abd that's#terrifying. i don't know what id do. and now im crying again. fuck man. i swing wildly between being so scared abd upset at#losing my aunt and what it means for everyone i love. and being super matter of fact aboit it. bc ive had harm ocd since i was#a kid. ive been thinking about the ways i and everyone could die and coping with it by being matter of fact that everyone dies#and its as natural as being alive. turns out both things exist in me and idk how to do anything with them#but anyway. tomorrow morning i will go outside. i will look in charity shops for home things. i will maybe buy ingredients for cake#and i will continue on. i want to make apple cake. and chocolate cake. and i will deal with the eggs as i must
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h.aar deserves sooo many kisses
#ash rambles 💚#i showed you my wyvern please respond 💤#like yeah i get that h.aar's whole deal is that he's always sleepy and it's a haha funny gag and all but. he's been through a lot#if i were him I'd never wanna be awake either#i just wanna hold him close and tell him i love him#his and ash's ending is really cute#they basically settle down on the countryside and raise baby wyverns together#neither of him ever holds a weapon again. ever.#more than twenty years of nothing but fighting.. and finally it's all over.#he's a loving (eventual) husband to ash and a great wyvern dad too. they don't want kids theyre very happy with their wyverns#i just love him so much. he's such a little shit sometimes but he's smart and strong and so fucking cool.. he's so badass.. that one line he#has where the other guy is like 'I'll die for that guy! that guy is great!' and h.aar is like 'yes. you will.' goes sooo hard#haard if you will#get it?#heh.#anyways tomorrow my f.ire emblem cipher cards are coming in! i got a h.aar! and some others! well.. tomorrow.. more like today.. it's 2:30.#my quarter is finishing on the 22nd so i've just been working nonstop since then. yeah. at least a week later is pax!!!!!! exciting right?#i know a lot of people travel for it but. I'm cooler than everyone. I'm a local.#i jest i jest ajdjajd it's not even that great up here#yeah. thats basically it. i should probably go to sleep now! it's been a long last few days.. both with school and irl shit..#i truly am too hot to catch a break huh?#n e ways..#h.aar my beloved!!! it's so nice when it's nighttime because he takes off his eyepatch. the scar underneath is fucking ugly. I'm not gonn#a sugarcoat that. but it's part of him and i love all of him so i love that scar too.#he always looks at ash so lovingly with his one good eye whenever they cuddle#I'm gonna quit rambling now ajdhajhs otherwise I'll be here forever going on and on and on about my h.aar#goodnighhtttt!
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Stats don't matter on a good day but there's really nothing you can do about it when you write about things people just don't give a shit about
#2 comments on the fic that changed my life brother#both from my friends to whom i owe my life#not a single stranger loved it dog i could die#the roypercy fic fared better but only just#and it's the most vulnerable thing i ever wrote#and it's not anyone else's fault like i dont want ppl to go read it if they don't care!! i just want community 😭😭#it can be a blessing yeah bc when its just me and pepper theres no one to annoy us#but having other people's opinions to be annoyed at is a privilege sometimes akdjlajd#ignore this its late and its my first day at new job tomorrow and im anxious about it so im looking for something to cry about
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What a truly shitty week
#no offense to my bf he's been nothing but supportive#but god this is so fucking hard#i feel like I'm mourning but no one died#but I'm still mourning what I'm going to lose#no one will die but a chapter of my life will end#all ours talks of our dreams of things we wanted to do together#the things we wanted to do together here#but we can't stay here#she can't stay here#she needs to leave and I'm being left behind and#and it's slowly sinking in#I don't want this#but we can't do anything else#she can't do anything else#she has to go#this sucks so bad#it's so hard#I'm going to cry the moment i see her tomorrow#we'll both cry i know we will#we both didn't want this to end#this is all because of increased rent and i hate it#this sucks#I'm going to miss her#I'm going to miss the cat far more than anything probably#if#if I wasn't left completely alone I'd be better#but#it's just me#it'll just be me#with nothing but me
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