#if there's any tags i missed please tell me

[dyingswanpavlova]

"Your girl" - Part 14 | The Salesman x Reader

Summary: Life with him is really good...Right?

Warnings: dead dove do not eat, kidnapping, mentions of sexual abuse and other traumatic events in the past, numbness, helplessness, violence, threatening, mentions of blood, mentions of murder/gore/death, body issues, trauma talk, stockholm syndrome, forced relationship, unhealthy relationship, depression, manipulation and low self-esteem, mentions of sexual activities, loss of identity, threatening, penetration, breeding kink, degradation kink, cockwarming, edging, overstimulation, sleepy sex (both consent!), not beta-read, if I've missed any warnings or tags please tell me! mdni 18+!

"Your girl" - The Salesman x Reader Masterlist

Life was good.

Uncharacteristically so even.

There was still a tiny part of you that was tense around him and that was for various reasons. One of them being, that you never really knew when his evil persona would take over. So far you could tell, albeit roughly, but there were always moments, when he would simply snap and there was nothing you could do about it. Was that a problem? Probably, but not to you, anyways. Why? Because life was good.

The little trip to the balcony hadn’t been a one-time thing. In fact, it happened more and more regular. Not only to get naughty, because he was a freak, who liked the thought of possibly getting caught – but also because, as he said, you’ve been such a good girl for me all this time. And I told you, sweet girl, I don’t want to keep you locked away. I just needed to make sure you’re mine.

That you were. Quite obviously.

That one time when you told him you wanted to leave, it had been exactly that. One time. The reasons for that outburst were in the past so far. There were still moments when you feared punishment and rightfully so. But to your great relief, you were both learning.

You were learning not to expect a painful blow, whenever you went out of your way to speak your mind (which wasn’t quite as often as you wished, but you were getting there). Slow and steady.

And he? He was learning, too. He was learning to leave you be and control the wild beast that lived inside his mind and soul. The darkness that surrounded him became lighter every day or so it felt to you. Of course he wouldn’t let you downright insult him, without at least some punishment in sight. But he was working on himself and his behavior. He didn’t hurt you without a reason. He didn’t hurt severely. And on some lucky days, he didn’t hurt you at all.

Slow and steady.

What was probably the greatest part of it all, it felt like a relationship. A real one. Two people who shared a life together, doing all kinds of things, sharing an intimate relation, but most importantly, you talked.

You talked a lot.

And now it wasn’t only through games and the fear of punishment. It wasn’t even only you who was forced to talk. No, he talked as well. The important things were still a big issue, obviously. He didn’t have a name, an identity or a past, when it came to you. But you had the great, undying hope that one day he would trust you. Trust you enough to let you know who he was and where he came from, what made him who he was and what was truly important to him.

Sometimes you’d get those tiny, little flickers that shone through his façade, his tight mask. The moments when the look in his eyes became faraway and distant, when his voice became softer and the tension in his body gave way to something quiet. Maybe one day that would be the version of him that you would get. Entirely and without question. Without the filter to rule out his emotions for him.

Until then, though, you would make do with what you had. And what did you have?

His favorite movie? The good, the bad and the ugly. What a question. Actually, anything with Clint Eastwood in it. Haven’t you seen the man?

His favorite musician? Ennio Morricone. Did you watch that scene in Inglourious Basterds, right before the Bear Jew comes out of the cave? That scene – and that composition – it’s reason enough to watch the movie. Aside from all the Nazis getting burned, of course.

His favorite food? Tteokbokki. But they have to be spicy enough to make your tongue fall off.

You smirked to yourself as you stood by the stove, slowly stirring the rice cakes in a black pan. He was talking movies all the time and that was a language you understood well.

In a minute you needed to add the spices and that disturbingly hot, red sauce. It was something you had cooked before, back in England. You had been scrolling aimlessly through one of your countless apps, which you normally used so you wouldn’t have to think and there you found some recipe that had been viral for a while. A Korean recipe with rice cakes in a sauce, topped with sesame and green onions. It had been quite the ordeal to find rice cakes back where you lived, but when you finally did and you tasted the recipe you had so carefully and lovingly prepared, you found it was worth it. It had actually been the first step into the life you were now living.

South-Korea, you had thought. Why not?

You poured the sauce in and wanted to try it, but decided against it in the end. You’d spend the next hour trying to soothe the pain in your mouth with bread and milk. With a soft sigh, you turned off the stove and served the food on two plates. You set the table with the gentle precision of a lovely homemaker. Even the napkins were folded prettily, giving the whole scene the last touch it needed to come off as…thoughtful.

Of course you never mentioned to him that you knew the dish. He had mostly likely thought it was just another Korean word he threw around and you’d forget immediately. And you had made no attempts to make him believe differently. So, when you began to cook this, it was with the intention to surprise him. A short glance at the clock showed you that it was almost ten in the evening, so he would most likely be home soon.

Home. What an odd thought.

You sighed again and washed your hands. A lecture you had to learn only once before in your life – spicy food didn’t quite match well with eyes.

You glanced around the kitchen once more, half-expecting him to be late. After he luckily gave you the books back, you asked yourself if you should go and read something, until he arrived, but that question answered itself, the moment you heard the door creak open. A nervous smile grew on your face and you nibbled on your lower lip. For some reason, a part of you was still afraid. A tiny bit, at least. It was like you expected him to punish you for good things. For being affectionate or caring.

But the moment you saw his head perk through the door, you knew you wouldn’t get punished tonight. Well, at least not, until you gave him a reason to…or asked him to.

His face lit up in surprised delight, his brows furrowed in a mixture of disbelief and confusion.

“Hello?” He murmured as he stepped closer and set the briefcase down on a chair. Your smile grew somewhat and you folded your hands behind your back.

“Hey.” You took a step closer and tilted your head to the side. “I made dinner.”

“I can see that.” He glanced at the lovely decorated kitchen table. You had put in quite some effort, looking through all the drawers until you found a tablecloth, lit some candles and then there was his favorite food. He looked from the table to you and smiled.

“And what exactly did I do to deserve this?” He raised a brow in suspicion. You returned the smile.

“I just felt like it.”

“So, you know Tteokbokki!”

You laughed quietly. “We’ll see about that. You should try it first.”

He hummed softly and stepped closer. You expected him to head for the sink and wash his hands, which he most definitely would, but before that, he stepped close to you, so close that you felt the warmth radiating off him and pressed a soft kiss to your forehead. Then your cheek and then your lips.

You closed eyes and leaned into the kiss, immediately aching for more. But a second later he pulled his head back and smiled again.

“I just know I’m going to love it. Thank you.”

You felt yourself blush and so you averted your gaze. He finished up getting ready and then pulled out your chair for you, like the gentleman he was, or well, he could be.

The both of you settled down and you kept a keen eye on him to check his reaction, the second he brought the fork to his lips. You half-expected him to recoil in disgust, but instead, his brows furrowed and he hummed in approval.

“This is perfect.”

You scoffed in amusement. “Stop bullshitting me.”

“No, I mean it. It’s perfectly spicy, just the way I like it. And it’s homemade. Do you know how much that me-“ He stopped himself and cleared his throat. The filter. “I really love it. Thank you.” He squeezed your hand under the table.

You smiled again and leaned back in your chair, taking a moment to simply watch him eat.

When he saw you were staring at him, he cocked a brow. “What?”

“Nothing.”

“Now it’s you bullshitting me, huh?”

That made you laugh. God, how beautiful this was. Just simple, plain banter. Back and forth, like normal couples shared. You loved it.

You loved him.

When you laughed, a cocky grin grew on his face. “Mhm. I still have it in me, don’t I?”

You smirked. “Oh, shut up. For an old man.”

His grin widened and he picked up the fork, bringing it to your lips. Wordlessly, you parted them and took the food in your mouth. It was painful, of course, but you tried to keep a strong façade. And failed.

He laughed and held out a glass with milk to you, of which you took a big, grateful sip.

“Why are you making it, if you can’t even eat it?”

“You like it.”

He hummed softly. “And you remembered.”

“It’s not that hard. I collect the few things I know about you like postage stamps.”

He snorted. “Oh, so now we collect stamps, do we?”

You grinned cheekily and gently nudged his shoulder. “Eat your abnormal spicy food and shush.”

He shot you another smirk and eyed you up and down for a moment. It left you feeling oddly comfortable.

“You’re beautiful.” He mumbled before he took another bite. Your brows shot up and you titled your head to the side. You were better now, when it came to this. Compliments and accepting them. After all, he had no reason to lie to you whatsoever, now, did he?

“Thank you. But why are you saying that?” Not as good as you thought, but better.

He brows furrowed. “And why wouldn’t I?”

You shrugged and he shot you a long, suspicious look. “I’m not taking it back.”

That made you laugh again. He sounded like petulant child and you loved him even more when he was like this. Just…easy.

Easy to love.

“Why are you laughing at me?” He joined your laughter.

You smirked and took another sip of your milk. “If you can’t tell, it’s already too late.”

Days passed, weeks even, and life was still good. Very much so.

Every now and then you would ask yourself, when will things take a dark turn again? You couldn’t help yourself. These first few weeks were stuck in your mind like a nightmare you hardly remembered and yet felt in every inch of your body. Even when you didn’t...

Your body remembered.

He had that in him. That dark, that evil. It would undoubtedly come out again at some point. That’s why you always tried to remind yourself, not to dive too deep into what you called your perfect world. At some point, you’d surely be in pain again.

Though, you had to admit, you were hardly in pain nowadays. Your mysterious man was a gentle man, when he wanted to be and that happened more and more these days. Whenever he came home, he’d make a habit of kissing you and asking you about your day. His smile came out, more and more often. On very rare occasions, when you got really lucky, you even heard him laugh. And not the mock-kind of laugh he’d have so well-rehearsed in his repertoire of masks, he had for the world to see, but the real kind. A sound so unbridled and genuine, so warm and endearing, it made something inside of you ache. Why was it so rare?

Of course he still hurt you sometimes, but that was more of a consented kind of thing. In most cases.

Whenever he decided it was time for you to cockwarm him, for example. God, you hated, when he did. Because you loved it.

You loved the feeling of having him inside you on any occasion, really. Sometimes he’d be reading the newspaper and have you on his lap, his free hand on your hip to hold you perfectly still. You always asked yourself, how on earth did he manage to read like that, without even cocking an eye brow, while you were nearly fainting in agony, because all you wanted was for him to move?

On other nights, and you were ashamed to admit how much you enjoyed it, you’d even sleep like that. You’d lay either facing away or facing him, but often clenched around him. He’d nuzzle his face in your hair and after a while he’d usually drift off like that, his breathing slowly soothing down to a soft sound. Sometimes, when he’d wake up in the middle of the night, you felt him move and grind his hips against yours, giving you the friction you so desperately desired. Sometimes it happened quickly, sometimes it took a few hours and sometimes it didn’t happen at all. But when it did and when it did take hours to get to that point, you’d normally be half-asleep and yet desperate. The second you felt him move inside you, it was as though a switch got flipped. You became needy and…

Wicked.

 For you, it didn’t matter how many times he fucked you. How many times he made you cum. When you felt him like that, you needed him. Ardently.

But in most cases you managed to be good for him, just like he asked you to. Good and perfectly still. When you did, you got rewarded. Which, in most cases, consisted of him going down on you and making you feel things with his tongue that made your toes curl and your breath stutter. He made you cum so good that you nearly forgot your own name.

At times, you did forget it. But odd enough, you didn’t really miss it. Names weren’t important. Not with him.

And then there were those other times. The times, when you got too needy, too desperate and, despite your better will, you found yourself moving against him, desperate for any kind of friction. That was when you got punished still.

Sometimes with a firm slap to get you back on track. That wasn’t enough to make you forget about your need for him though. Normally, you’d just fall back into the same pattern, given enough time. And after a while, he got more creative with his punishments. When he realized that pain was something that you were rather immune to, compared to other things, you were fucked.

Quite literally.

When you moved and disobeyed his orders not to…

He fucked you. Which wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. Not at all, actually.

That was until…

You came. You came every time with him, which was something you had highly doubted, before you started this thing between you. But to your surprise, you were more than relaxed with him. And so you came.

But he didn’t stop there. No, it was a punishment after all, right?

So, he kept fucking into you, like a feral animal. Even after you came and the pleasure quickly shifted into overstimulation. You got so sensitive, it was close to painful. But he kept going.

And then, oh God, you’d come again. Of course you did. He was good at what he was doing. You came again, shuddering and gasping.

And he still wouldn’t stop.

Even when your body arched into the air and you tried to get away from him, all desperate, he’d continue fucking you, until your mind was a mess and all you could do was stutter and whimper, cry even.

It was one of his favorite ways to punish you.

When he didn’t keep you on edge or withdrew your release for the time being, he made you cum until you begged him to stop, sobbing and whimpering.

Oh, the crying turned him on, you could tell. Because it normally ended with him filling you up to the brim. And then he’d go back to sleep, wouldn’t he? With his length still buried deep inside to keep warm.

Let’s just hope you learned your lesson now, darling. I’d hate to punish you again.

He had done exactly that the night before and so you found yourself lying on the sofa, feeling sore and exhausted. When he came home that night, you were still passed out on the couch, too sleepy to even open your eyes. He regarded your broken frame with a warm, yet subtle smile and set his briefcase down. He took a few slow steps closer and watched over you for a long moment, before he reached for the nearby blanket and pulled it up to your shoulders. You weren’t really fast asleep, just somewhere in-between, so you felt his knuckles gently caress your cheek. You mumbled something in response and you heard the way he smiled, before he vanished to the bathroom and you heard the way the water got turned on.

After a while you slowly blinked your eyes open and yawned. When you saw the blanket, a smile crept onto your face and you hugged the material tightly to your body. Slowly and carefully, you sat up and rubbed your eyes, before you decided to try and cook something for a change. You got better and better at it, considering how little you knew about the Korean cuisine. Yet you had to admit, it seemed healthier than anything you had ever eaten back home.

When you couldn’t think of anything, you decided to be safe and went for Bibimbap. It was a mixture of near everything and also the fastest thing you could think of. But before you even started, you went back to your room to grab a claw clip for your hair. You swiftly did it up and made your way through the hallway, when you saw that the door to his bedroom stood open. You saw his white shirt splayed out on the bed and you just knew it smelled like him. You bit your lip as you slowly tiptoed inside and picked the shirt up, only to bury your face in the material and inhale softly.

If this wasn’t home, what would ever be?

You hummed softly to yourself, before you swiftly slid off your caramel colored skirt and your black tank top, to put his button down shirt on instead. The material hugged your body like a gentle hug and you smiled to yourself as you rolled the sleeves up in the way he would. Of course the shirt looked fairly huge on you. You took a long glance at the big mirror and smirked. It looked like a dress on you, albeit a short one. You twirled around like a ballerina and took in the way your thighs were barely covered by the material. That gave you a wicked idea.

Of course your body was begging you to leave it be, especially after last night, but the devil inside your mind forced you to keep the shirt on and make your way back to the kitchen.

In the meantime, he had finished his shower and now he sat on the couch, with the newspaper in his hand. He wore a pair of grey sweatpants (the damned bastard) and a black shirt. His hair was still damp and hung loosely into his face. He looked delicious.

When he heard you approach, he looked up, ready to greet you, when he hesitated. His gaze roamed up and down your body in a way that made you bite back a smirk.

“Hello, darling.” He murmured, without ever looking up at your face.

“Why, hello.” You purred cheerfully and approached him with slow, tiptoed steps. His gaze wandered up your legs and torso, until he finally met your gaze.

“You look…”

“I thought it suits me better than you.” You teased.

His lips curved up into a slow smile. “I can’t disagree.” He took your hand, ready to pull you onto his lap. But after last night, you felt in dire need to take some action and control.

Not, that you didn’t somehow enjoy it. But still.

You briefly squeezed his hand, before you pulled yours away. You gave him a quick peck on the lips, then took a step back.

“I’ll go cook.”

His brows shot up. “I can-“

“No.”

You hid your smirk, until you had your back facing him. With quick, measured steps, you disappeared into the kitchen, all the while pretending not to hear his frustrated groan.

The next few minutes went by rather quickly. You did a great job cooking up some ingredients and even an egg, Sunny Side Up. You quickly set the table and eventually left some rice on the stove, to slowly simmer. With a soft, exaggerated sigh you made your way back to the living room.

“It’s almost done.” You murmured as you slowly approached him. When you looked at him, you deliberately missed his face and his expression became more and more dour.

“Good. I was thinking-“

“I nearly finished my book.” You interrupted him in a sweet voice, as you sat down on his lap, causing him to freeze for a moment. It only took him a second to relax, though he seemed to have forgotten that you had interrupted him and what he even intended to say in the first place.

“That’s…good.” He murmured.

“Just two more pages. I’ll finish it quickly, before dinner, okay?”

He cocked a brow and shrugged slowly. “Sure. Suit yourself.”

His shirt rode up your thighs and revealed more and more of your skin to his gaze. He didn’t even try to be secretive about it, he was straight-up ogling you. All the while you buried your nose in your book, without reading a single word. You had to save up all your energy as not to smile.

His fingertips brushed over the skin of your thigh and you did your best to keep your expression neutral. And he, he was just…

“Are you-“

“Oh God, I didn’t see that twist coming.” You closed the book and sighed. Then you shot him an innocent look and smiled. “That was a really good book.”

You leaned back against his chest and kept up your innocent façade, all the while the look in his eyes equaled that of a bear with his fish.

“You really-“

“I’d better go and get myself another one. I’m sure the rice needs a few more minutes.”

His hand ended up in the middle of the air, while you practically jumped off of his lap. He let out a soft grunt of frustration, while you slowly swayed your way back to the bookshelf. Of course your hips swayed along and obviously his gaze did the same.

You held a finger against your lips, pretending to think, while you slowly went about the rows and rows of books. And then, what a coincidence, a book in the last row caught your attention. You smiled and bent down, pretending to read.

At the same time, his patience snapped. When his shirt rode up further, exposing just a hint of your rear to him, he let out a low growl.

“That’s enough.” He hissed. You smirked, before you slowly turned and replaced the smirk with innocent surprise.

“What? What’s enough?”

“Oh, stop this.” He slammed the newspaper down on the coffee table and stood up in a swift movement. “Stop acting all innocent. You’ve been parading around here, half-naked and ready to…”

“To what?” You murmured and tilted your head to the side in feigned curiosity. He growled again and ran a hand over his chin. Only then did you see the obvious tent in his grey sweatpants. It cost you half your life not to look down there and trust your peripheral view.

“Don’t play dumb.” He murmured. “Get over here. Now.”

You licked your lips. “But the rice-“

“Now!”

That made you laugh and there went your innocent act out of the window.

“You minx! You’re doing this on purpose!”

You chuckled. “Well…”

The look on his face was near rabid. Only the foam was missing.

“I’ll forgive you this once, if you’ll be a good girl for me and get your ass over here.”

You smirked and took a step back, circling the sofa. “And if I don’t?

He hissed in response. “You don’t want to test me today.”

And for some inexplicable reason, right then and there, you weren’t scared. That tiny part of your brain that had continued to keep up the fear, albeit briefly and barely, was completely silent. And you knew he wasn’t going to hurt you, no matter what you did.

“Make me then.”

His eyes widened and he tilted his chin up. “Oh, that’s a mistake.”

You grinned. “Oh, that’s a mistake.” You mocked his voice.

With a movement so quick that it almost made you wince, he jumped over the back of the couch and stood before you, eyeing you like a predator. You let out a soft shriek and turned on your heel, running and laughing, without looking over your shoulder.

It took him only a second to put his hand on your shoulder, but it took you only a second to shrug him off and circle the coffee table.

“That all you got, old man?”

You could have sworn you saw his lip twitch, but that would have been too easy. He tried hard to keep his expression serious.

“Grew a backbone, did you?”

You raised a brow and smirked. “Oh, boo-hoo. Did I hurt you, oppa?” You hinted a mocking curtsy.

“Oh, you just wait!” He rushed to catch you from one side, but you quickly ran the other way. When he tried the other way, you went the other way, yet again. He gave a frustrated growl.

“What now, hm?” You smirked. “Giving up already?”

He gave you a long, wild look. For a moment you almost thought he was indeed giving up, but then he rushed forward and kicked the table out of the way. It rolled over and crashed against the wall loudly. Your eyes widened in surprise and you took a step back, but before you knew it, your back was already pressed against the wall and you had to tilt your head back to stare up at him.

“You caught me.” You whispered.

He clenched his jaw and reached out a hand. You were sure. You were still sure, that you were safe.

And then…

His hand slowly tangled in your hair and gently grasped the back of your neck. He leaned down so that your lips nearly met.

“I caught you.” He whispered back, before he captured your lips in a bruising kiss.

And you let the rice burn.

A few days later, you couldn’t even tell which day it was, because every day was but a collection of memories you kept replaying in your head, he was off to work.

And to no one’s great surprise, you missed him.

Every waking moment without him was empty. The emptiness was so intense, it left you nearly suffocating. All the while, all you could do was wait. Wait and eat. Wait and sleep. Wait and read.

Sometimes, you wrote. You remembered that one time you told him about your greatest dream.

To become an author one day. You didn’t even care, if anyone knew your real name, you just wanted to touch people with your words. Like the Bronte-sisters.

Ellis Bell, huh? And who would you be?

Hana, maybe. The thought made you equally as sad as it filled you with hope.

But that was about all you did. And after hours and hours, the day neared its end. Eventually it was far past eleven, so you were sure he would be late tonight. Of course you were concerned. As you always were. You had no idea what his job was, but you could tell it was dangerous.

The man in his clean suit and a briefcase full of secrets.

When it got closer to midnight and he still wasn’t back, you decided to distract yourself, by getting yourself ready. You changed into a beautiful, white negligee with a neckline made of pretty, see-through lace. You loved it. The silk made you feel like you were the most beautiful girl on earth. And you were sure, once he saw you in it, he would totally destroy it. Chew it off or tear it down, whatever worked faster.

You did your hair down (it was slowly growing back and you barely thought back to the dreadful day that he cut it) and took a last glance at your appearance in the mirror. You smiled at yourself, something you rarely did, and eventually made your way back to his bedroom to surprise him. On his bed, wearing nothing but the negligee and a pair of…

Where were the handcuffs? You frowned as you glanced around and didn’t immediately find them. You bent down to look under the bed, but still no cuffs in sight. Your frown deepened and you gave another quick onceover, before you decided that they most likely were in the wardrobe.

You opened it and knelt down, finding the knife and several guns in the process. The small shudder brought you back to reality and you exhaled softly, before you sat back and looked at the countless weapons. Had he ever killed someone with them? Most likely.

But for a strange, inexplicable reason, you didn’t really care. Not really. Because it wasn’t real. Not then, not there, not in that moment. What was real, was him and his…

Desires.

You opened your mouth and closed it, before your fingers slowly closed around a small handgun. You swallowed thickly and carefully held it up, only to realize it was far heavier than you always assumed. The material felt cold and wrong in your hand.

Your mind involuntarily wandered back to the day he pressed one of them against your temple or…his. You closed your eyes. The thought of him…

Him…

With a shuddery gasp, the gun slipped through your fingers and landed on the carpet.

There was no thought more painful than that one. You couldn’t lose him. Not ever.

You loved him. And you loved him far too much.

Enough, to be what he wanted.

Enough, to give in to his desires.

You took another deep breath and picked up the gun again, determined to take it back to bed with you. You wanted to surprise him, right?

All you had to do beforehand was to make sure that it wasn’t loaded.

A frown formed on your face, when you realized you didn’t even know how to do that. The thought of accidentally shooting yourself, while waiting for him to come home…It didn’t sound all too appealing, though it did sound like something that could happen to you.

You sighed and already gave up the thought of ever finding the cuffs, when you caught sight of something else instead. It was far in the back of the wardrobe and you were sure, for some reason, you weren’t supposed to see it.

Of course you weren’t supposed to touch his gun, either, but you felt he would forgive you, once he realized you were slowly submitting to his every desire.

Even if it meant him fucking you, while he held a gun to your head. In your mouth…Or, God help you, somewhere else.

You were twisted. You were sure you were. Because you felt it. You felt how the thought did things to you.

But for now you tried to push the thought aside and instead glanced back at the box.

Then again, what terrible thing could be inside there?

Someone’s teeth maybe?

Your soft smile disappeared the second you realized it was possible. You nearly recoiled in disgust. But then you realized, you had to know.

It couldn’t be teeth. It was too sick. Too deranged.

Too…him?

No. No, no, no.

As if in a trance, you picked up the light, wooden box and took off the lid.

No teeth inside. Only…

Fuck.

What was in there was so much worse than teeth.

Your forehead creased into a small frown, which grew further with every second.

And suddenly you felt nauseous.

No.

Oh, no.

You nearly dropped the box and backed away like you’d been struck, the moment you heard it.

“Goddamn it." He sighed impatiently and the door slowly closed behind him. "You weren’t supposed to see that.”

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Tag list 1:

@mitsuki-dreamfree @kpopsmutty69 @heroine-chique @vkeyy @mizuwki @blu-brrys @z0mbi345 @yourpointbreak @ayieayee @freddyzeppsworld @lola11111111 @indifitel6661 @salesmanlover08 @laurenbenoit70 @lalalaa2210 @lila-marshal @auspicious-lilana @0-aubrie0 @lovelyaegyo @theredvelvetbitch @violentbluess @muriels-lover @dorayakissu @eviebuggg @muchwita @ririgy @strxlemon @obsessedwthdilfs @kiwilov3 @misty-q

Author's note: Did I lately mention that I love you, guys?

Ps. The Tteokbokki and the teasing were anon requests! I loved them and I hope I did them justice!

[lila-kriegerin]

OMG, OP!

I was just about to suggest "Now & Then "

but I saw it in your tags.

I'm so sorry this may look like an unhinged rant no one asked for, but someone has to tell people younger than me what I know, so I spent 2 hours crafting a reply/follow-up/addendum to you post, OP. Please forgive any formatting errors. I tried to keep things simple and engaging but a few things may look a little bit odd depending on what sort of device you're viewing it on. I couldn't take the risk of making all the text too small

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQLVzTtt2Ws

The biggest problem trying to find similar films is that they often involve at least two of the girls having some kind of relationship to boys causing drama (I'm looking at you, "Sisterhood Of The Travelling Pants "... and others) whereas a film like "Dead Poets Society " is definitely in that pseudo-homoerotic and explicitly homoerotic range of storytelling.

Why do you think "Little Women" was popular for so long? It was the 1oth century literary equivalent with the requisite brush with death and loss so common to an era before even antibiotics existed... and loss and grief still happen today.

It's true that so few are like "Newsies " and "West Side Story ", but DON'T sleep on hits like "Annie" &

🥁 drumroll, please 🥁

Want to guess what was the first obviously gay song featured in a film from Hollywood (after the Hayes Code)?

The First Gay Anthem: Calamity Jane's 'Secret Love'

It's not "West Side Story " because it's a western frontier musical, and they skirted the lines as hard as they could to have a nice Christian young woman fancying a "tomboy": Calamity Jane (who by historical record seems to have favoured women and men).

Though based on American Western folklore, this premise clearly imitated the successful 1950 film version of Irving Berlin's Broadway musical Annie Get Your Gun, about Wild West sharpshooter Annie Oakley.

But instead of a make-over, Calamity Jane gives its tough-gal heroine a powerfully symbolic pistol; her masculine aggression plays with sexual identity through gestures enlarged to the point of farce. And then it goes deeper--into emotional confusion that grows from Jane taking on supposed male habits. Doris Day brings comic overstatement to Jane's complex repression of her own instincts. Like many a closet case, she exhibits a self-defeating willingness to fit into a male-dominated culture. Her tough mannerisms are also designed to protect her hidden, vulnerable emotions.

You have to dig.

Dig deep, and be willing to watch a film with a different spoken language and culture, but there are some parallels.

Consider the Britney Spears film, which I believe is called "Crossroad(s)" in English. [Sorry, I don't have time to look up the title.]

Now— what if there were a film that's something a bit like a lesbian equivalent?

Touch

A Chinese movie produced/sponsored by the sapphic dating app Rela. It follows three girls on a road trip. Chinese language with English subtitles.

I've never, EVER seen any website draw direct comparisons to other films that way, such as:

If you loved "She's The Man" but want it more sapphic (though ultimately thwarted by the producer), you can't miss "Bend It Like Beckham"!

The photo which was posted by OP DOES contain valid points!! (No one is going to treat you "like a man/boy" unless they truly think that's what you are, and society DOES socialise people differently, so: how would a group of teenage girls or very young adult women ever have experiences identical to those in a film like "Dead Poet's Society"?)

Nevertheless, there are some similar films that are comparable:

"Superbad" — "Booksmart".

I decided to hyperfocus trying to think up some equivalents to "Dead Poet's Society".

Here's a quick comparison I spent far too much time on:

If you’re looking for a Dead Poets Society equivalent with mostly female characters, a few films capture that same blend of deep emotional intimacy, artistic passion, and repressed desire. Here are the best contenders:

1. Mädchen in Uniform (1931 & 1958)

This is the OG queer boarding school drama. Set in a strict Prussian girls' school, it follows a young student, Manuela, who falls in love with her teacher, Fräulein von Bernburg. The film is explicitly homoerotic in a way that Dead Poets Society is only suggestive of—there’s longing glances, whispered affections, and a stifling environment that tries to crush individuality and desire. Like Neil, Manuela faces tragic consequences for daring to express herself.

Cracks (2009) — If Dead Poets Society were darker and more explicitly about queer desire, it would be Cracks. This film follows a group of girls at a remote British boarding school under the spell of their charismatic teacher, Miss G (Eva Green, in all her seductive, unhinged glory). When a new student arrives, power struggles and hidden obsessions unravel. It has all the repression, poetry, and tragic queerness you could want.

Heavenly Creatures (1994) — Peter Jackson (yes, Lord of the Rings Peter Jackson) directed this feverishly intense drama about two schoolgirls in 1950s New Zealand—Pauline and Juliet—whose bond becomes so consuming that it leads to murder. Like Dead Poets Society, it’s about breaking free from repression, but it takes a much darker turn. The homoerotic tension between the girls is undeniable, and the fantasy world they create as an escape mirrors the way the DPS boys use poetry to carve out their own space in a suffocating environment.

Picnic at Hanging Rock (1975) — This one’s all about atmosphere—a haunting, dreamlike film about a group of girls at an Australian boarding school who mysteriously vanish during a picnic. While there’s no overt romance, the film is full of lingering touches, dreamy stares, and a pervading sense of longing and repression. The rigid Victorian setting and the contrast between the natural world and societal constraints make it feel spiritually connected to DPS.

The Falling (2014) — Starring Florence Pugh and Maisie Williams, this film is weird and hypnotic. It’s set in an all-girls school in the 1960s and follows a mysterious fainting epidemic that spreads through the students. It has the same themes of teenage rebellion, deep female friendships that tip into obsession, and an oppressive institution trying to crush individual expression.

Céline and Julie Go Boating (1974) — This is a more whimsical, surreal take on female friendship and creativity. It follows two women who fall into a bizarre, looping story in a haunted house, constantly re-experiencing and altering the narrative. It has a Dead Poets Society vibe in the sense that it’s about escaping rigid reality through art and imagination, but with a queer-coded, magical twist.

If you want the closest equivalent to "Dead Poets Society"...

..."Mädchen in Uniform" or "Cracks" are your best bets, and Cracks more than Mädchen in Uniform

because the latter is so old fashioned that to further scandalise viewers they paired a teacher with a student.

If you want something more poetic and atmospheric, "Picnic at Hanging Rock" or "The Falling" will scratch that itch.

If all of that is too gay for you (gofuckyourself, tee-hee)

You really, REALLY should try

"Mona Lisa Smile".

(...and if it's not too gay for you, then go watch CRACKS right now!)

"Mona Lisa Smile" [hereafter referred to as MLS] is often called the "Dead Poets Society" [hereafter, DPS] for women, and yeah, it certainly hits a lot of the same beats—

an outsider teacher inspiring students to challenge societal norms,

a prestigious school that values obedience over individuality, and

a group of young people grappling with expectations that threaten to suffocate them.

Where DPS is about breaking free through poetry and self-expression, MLS is about that sort of thing tosome degree, but more about feminism, gender roles, and the fight for intellectual freedom in a world that wants women to be just wives and mothers.

Similarities to Dead Poets Society

The Inspirational Teacher as a Catalyst for Change

In DPS, John Keating (Robin Williams) shakes up Welton Academy’s rigid, tradition-obsessed environment with poetry and passion.

In MLS, Katherine Watson (Julia Roberts) does the same at Wellesley College, using art history to challenge her students’ pre-ordained roles as perfect housewives.

Both teachers are NOT merely instructing— they’re awakening their students, making them see the world differently, and often doing so in ways that put them at odds with their school’s administration.

The Oppressive Institution and Its Ideals

Welton Academy is a suffocating prep school that values discipline over creativity, much like Wellesley College in the 1950s. They outwardly promote academic excellence but ultimately groom women to become ideal wives. (T_T)

Both films show how these institutions uphold deeply ingrained traditions that resist change, even when it's clearly needed.

Both films show some of the human cost of trying, and giving up.

A Group of Students at a Crossroads

Just like Todd, Neil, and the rest of the DPS boys who struggle between expectation and their own desires, the young women in MLS— Joan, Betty, Giselle, and Connie—each navigate their own battles between societal pressure and personal ambition.

Joan (Julia Stiles) mirrors Todd.

Betty (Kirsten Dunst) is like a mix of Cameron and Richard from DPS.

Giselle (Maggie Gyllenhaal) is the Charlie of the group.

The Tragedy of Repression

DPS’s tragedy is clear: someone's dreams are crushed & there is a heartbreaking su*c*de [all the trigger warnings apply]. MLS doesn’t have a singular moment that tragic, but its heartbreak is quieter—seeing some brilliant young women choose societal expectations over their own ambitions because it feels like the only option... that is definitely going to haunt some people more than it may haunt white cis-hetero male viewers.

In both films, someone (one you probably like most of all, in both films) will have something horrible happen to them by their own choice, and that is very haunting.

Additionally, I dont think it's too big a spoiler to say oth films end with the teacher leaving— but to say why would spoil the endings of the films.

The last scenes mirror each other emotionally: in DPS & MLS, a quiet, bittersweet goodbye with both endings suggesting that while the teacher is gone, the ideas they planted will live on.

Key Differences

The Central Conflict

DPS is about breaking free from repression through art and poetry. It’s about passion, self-expression, and the fight for creative freedom.

MLS is about that too, though with more of a (*cough*white*cough*cough*) feminist focus on gender roles, feminism, and intellectual independence to have intellectual and self growth as an individual— and it asks whether women can truly be free when they’re still expected to conform to outdated expectations.

Homoerotic "Sub"text

[be honest: if you miss it in either film you're in denial or unobservent and that is your own journey you need to take]

DPS is filled with homoerotic tension, especially between Todd and Neil. The intimacy between the boys—the longing glances, the whispered poetry, the emotional weight of their friendships—feels deeply charged.

If you DEMAND that level of queerness, MLS ain't it.

MLS has some queer subtext, particularly with [one character], who is coded as more fluid in her sexuality, but the film doesn’t lean into that as much as DPS does because it's focused more on the pseudo-historical narrative from the book upon which it was based.

Don't forget that DPS came out to cinemas...

THEN "The Craft" did,

THEN "Cruel Intentions" did,

THEN MLS.

DPS was intentionally pushing boundaries of censors for queer story-telling when the USA was still afraid for gay people to peck each other with a little kiss on the lips on television before 10 PM.

DPS ends in a tragedy that reinforces the cost of defying the system— [spoilers redacted], and the boys are [narratively] left in a state which leaves the viewers feeling a bittersweet limbo.

MLS is perhaps a bit more hopeful; and although the school seemingly remains unchanged, things in that world have definitely shifted for the characters.

Their worlds aren't fully transformed though for MLS, it’s beginning to open up, but MLS leaves viewers with their own bittersweet limbo like DPS[-lite] with a sliver of a dash of hope.

Final Verdict:

"Mona Lisa Smile" is "Dead Poets Society" through a differing feminist lens.

It swaps poetry for art,

an all-boys school for an all-girls college, and

queer-coded male friendships for female students fighting for their intellectual freedom.

It has the same spirit—

a teacher who inspires students to think for themselves, an oppressive institution trying to maintain order, and young people wrestling with societal expectations.

However, where DPS is a tale of tragic repression, MLS leans toward quiet rebellion— not a fiery "O Captain, My Captain" moment, but a slow, steady push toward change.

just saw this on pinterest and it hit me like a truck

[adilqalbi]

What's True Love If Not Necromancy?

pairing: ramdevi

tagging: @rc-catalog

word count: 799

tw: light mentions of death

rating: g

summary: a different take on devi waking up for the first time in hertfordshire, finding ram and their conversation.

additional note: A SUPER LATE birthday present for the one and only JB/ @webanglikethat!! Jbaby you're one of the greatest people I have had the honour of knowing. i did my best here but forgive any mistakes. i hope you have an amazing year and whatever troubles you, i hope it goes away asap. i'll always love you (platonically)

Ram hadn't realised just how much he missed Devi until the night she showed up to his room, complaining of a headache. 

She had been unconscious for weeks, but the British physicians had seemingly done their best to help her recover from her injury. 

Now, here she was, sitting on Ram's bed, breathing deeply and massaging her temples. 

Ram sat on the floor at her feet, watching her, his palms resting on her knees, waiting patiently for her to break their silence. 

Finally: ‘’Where are we?’’ Her voice was a whisper, and Ram had to lean in to hear the question. 

He sighed. She didn’t know. Of course, she had been dead, roaming around in the afterlife probably, and now she was back but in a foreign place. 

‘’We are in Britain. Hertfordshire.’’

‘’Hertfordshire? How? This…doesn’t make sense.’’

‘’Shh, I know it doesn’t. I’ll explain everything, rakshasi.’’ Ram ran his hand through Devi’s messy hair, trying to calm her down. 

‘’Please, Ram. Just tell me. I was dead. Dead. What happened?’’

Ram bit his lip. There was no delaying this. She had to know. 

He sat down next to her on the bed, took her hand in his and began. 

‘’You did die. Dixit stabbed you. But, you killed him before your final breath. And, then you died.’’

Devi was silent. 

‘Ram continued: ‘’I figure you would be upset to know that the last time you breathed was in…Christian’s arms.’’ 

‘’By the gods. Dying in the arms of a foreigner.’’ 

‘’Yes, well, it’s okay though. We got you back very quickly.’’

Devi looked up at Ram. ‘’Yes, how did you manage that?’’

Ram rubbed his neck, nervous, ‘’There’s this ritual that can be done. It had never been successful before but it worked with you for some reason.’’

‘’A ritual?’’

‘’Yes.’’

‘’It had never worked before?’’

‘’No.’’

‘’But, here I am.’’

‘’Indeed.’’

Devi rolled her eyes. ‘’Of course, you would know a ritual. But wasn’t it too big a risk?’’

Ram looked at the bedroom floor, dark oak. He was silent for a few minutes, lost in thought. 

It was risky to have done the ritual. He could have made everything worse. But, he knew one thing was true, which would never change. 

‘’I wanted to do everything in my power to get you back. I don’t think I could live without you.’’

Ram looked directly into Devi’s eyes, ‘’Five years, Devi. Five years of stolen glances, and flirty jokes, and searching for each other in the crowd and yet not being able to talk openly. I’d already suffered for five years, without you by my side.’’ Ram stopped here, his voice failing him. 

Devi completed his thoughts: ‘’And after five years, once we just began taking steps towards…happiness…that’s when I was taken away from the world of the living. And you…’’

‘’Couldn’t bear it. Not for one minute.’’ 

Devi curled her lips inwards, not sure what to say to Ram’s sudden confession. 

‘’I’m sorry, maybe this was too much altogether.’’ Ram quieted down, mentally berating himself for not keeping his mouth shut. He was always so good at it, so what happened now?

The next thing he knew was that Devi was holding his hand tighter. ‘’No, Ram. It’s…I appreciate you so much. I love you dearly. It’s just that…I don’t know. I just wasn’t expecting it.’’

Ram raised his eyebrow, askance. 

‘’You were the one who said that what we have can’t be anything more than a secret.’’ Devi smirked, her old self coming back slowly as her mind got used to being alive again. ‘’What changed?’’

Ram looked at her again, her sparkling eyes, her smile. He thought back to how she laughed. 

‘’I want to make you laugh, I think. I want to do that for the rest of my life.’’ 

Devi blinked. She had expected a sarcastic joke, but this was serious. 

She smiled softly again, rubbing her thumb against Ram’s palm. 

‘’Ram…truly…I’d love to laugh with you forever. But-’’

‘’Oh god, there’s a but.’’ 

Devi, ironically laughed, ‘’Listen to me, you rakshasa. But now was not a good time to confess. I came back to life  half an hour ago. I’m pretty sure my body isn’t used to being alive currently. I think I need to sleep, actually. So, if you would please continue your tale of true love later on, I’d love to be able to sleep.’’

‘’True love? What do you mean true lov - wait!’’

It was no use. Devi was already under the covers with her eyes closed.

Under the covers. Sleeping. 

On Ram’s bed. 

In Hertfordshire. 

Where the maids liked to gossip. 

He looked at the empty side of the bed. He thought about it for perhaps one minute. Then he cuddled in right next to his true love.

[yummyrevivalfluid]

Muse

Senku x Artist Reader Pt.2

Summary: Reader seeks Senku's Help. The reader finds herself nearly failing all courses involving science and math, what a shocker! Senku can’t help but give the reader a hard time as she asks him to be her tutor...

Word Count: 1,372

Tag List: @maria-trisha

It wasn’t often that Senku was left alone, unbothered by distractions in the school lab. Usually, other classmates carry on with experiments. Sometimes Taiju would keep him company, but Taiju was too extroverted of a friend so much work wasn’t completed with him around. Senku was enjoying the quiet stir of the boiling water, he was currently crouching as he slowly poured some unknown liquid down a buret. Pouring until he reached the desired volume. Senku was deeply concentrated in his work, unaware of you quietly approaching from behind.

“Senku….”

Your voice so soft, Senku almost didn’t acknowledge your presence until he saw your reflection from the lab counters. Slightly startled, he put down the liquid and turned around to face you. Right away Senku could tell something was off. Your voice was too soft compared to your loud and obnoxious self, you looked flushed, and your eyes kept averting him as you slightly swayed.

“Is something wrong?” Senku, asked slightly worried by your behavior.

“Everything thing is ok…. it’s just…” your voice started to trail off as you walked closer to him, standing beside him as you placed the papers you were holding onto the counter, “…I need a favor…” You nudged the papers closer to him. Looking over the papers, the red marking on the paper was hard to miss. Nearly every question was marked with a red X’s. He could see eraser marks littered on the paper, hardly masking the drawings underneath.

You just couldn't help yourself.

 He could feel you staring at him, waiting for his reaction. He knew he had to be delicate, clearly you were embarrassed. He let out a deep sign as he ran his fingers through his hair, “You make Taiju look smart…”  He glanced at you, and he knew he could’ve been more delicate. You were looking at him with tears in your eyes as you hurriedly scrambled to pick up the papers.

“Neverminded! I’ll ask someone else…”. Before you could walk away from him, he gripped your wrist, stopping you in your tracks. “Senku….”

“I think I have vague of idea of what you need from me. But I need to be ten billion percent sure. What’s the favor?” He waited as you calmed down, blinking the tears in your eyes away.

“Not to make your head any bigger…” you started off, you gripped Senku’s hands in yours and looked into his eyes, pleading. “you’re the smartest person I know! You know so much about science and math! It’s your specialty! And well…I need help from the best!”

He didn’t say anything, he watched as you pulled the crumbled test scores back out, placing them on the counter. “I need you to be my tutor!”

“Hmmm…. I don’t kn- “before he could finish teasing you, you had dropped down to your knees and gripped his right leg and began to shake and beg.

“PLEASE SENKU! PLEASE BE MY TUTOR!”

“OK! Just get off me you airhead!”, he shook his leg to get you off. Pleased by his response you beamed and leaned in for a hug only to be stopped by his hand to your face.

“Thank you so much Senku! I owe you one!”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It’s been a few days since you asked Senku to be your tutor and finally you were going to have your first study session with him. He trailed behind you, following you home as you began to ramble about all these other courses and clubs you were in, making more sense for him as to why your grades were lower than Taiju’s.

“…And I also joined the beginner’s pottery, and OH! I joined a glassblowing class! How cool is that! You turned to see Senku not so amused at your choices.

“Glassblowing? Why the hell would you take that?!”

“Because it sounds cool! Who knows, it might come in handy one day! Maybe someday you’ll be asking me to make you some of the glass bottle thingies that you use!” you said very smugly.

“Uh huh…whenever that day comes, I’ll be sure to get on my knees and beg the very same you did for me…WHICH IS NEVER!” Senku stated as he pinched your arm to get you moving faster.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Finally at your home, you and Senku got yourself situated getting ready to learn. Before Senku could even open the book, you let out a deep groan.

“Uhhhhh! I don’t want to do this!” you grumbled. Resting your cheek on the table as you looked up to Senku, whose eye was twitching at your behavior.

“The sooner we get started, the sooner we can finish. So, get your damn head off the table and let’s do some science!”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After 2 hours of Senku nonstop calling you an airhead you were finally taking a break, although you had to do a lot of convincing on your end to make it happen. Senku was a relentless tutor.

Senku watched as you got up to go get some snacks before moving onto the next topic on your tutoring.

“You want anything?” you asked, looking down at him sprawled on your floor.

“Just a cola…thanks.” Senku listened to your footsteps getting further away, until it was just him in your room. He glanced around your bedroom, and he realized just how much you were into art. Paintbrushes and pencils scattered on your bed, posters of bands that he has no clue about littering your bedroom walls. Stacks of sketchbooks up against the leg of your desk. Standing up from his spot on the floor, he walked over to your desk and noticed a sketchbook he hadn’t seen you with. It wasn’t unusual that he wouldn’t recognize one of the many sketchbooks you owned, but this one was different. It was well taken care of. The leather of the sketchbook was in pristine condition, the paper wasn’t crumbled or had pages coming loose from the binding.

Curious, Senku opened the sketchbook, flipping through the pages, he noticed that he was the subject of many of the sketches. You had drawn him from different angles, some in his lab with a serious face, others with a soft look in his eyes gazing into the night sky, others it was just him…He felt like he learned something he wasn’t supposed to. This felt personal…Senku hurriedly closed the sketchbook and sat back down in his spot.

“Hey Senku, here’s your co-are you okay?” you kneeled in front of him, tilting your head as you examined his face.

“Yeah, I’m okay!” he swatted your hand away from his flushed face, “Break’s over let’s move on…”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Are we done? “You whined as you watched as Senku grade the practice sheet he created for you.

“You definitely improved…I guess we’re done for the day.” He watched as you cheered, relieved to give your brain a break. “Since I was teaching you about science, it’s only fair if I ask a question about art…”

You turned to look at him shocked written all over your face.

“YOU WANT TO LEARN ABOUT ART! OMG! YES! WHERE DO I EVEN START!” you gushed. Senku quickly cut you off before you could start your usual rambles.

“I didn’t say I wanted to learn about art! Listen, you airhead! I just had a question regarding art.”

“Oh…what’s your question?”

“What does it mean if an artist…repeatedly draws something or someone?” he asked. He tried to make the question as ambiguous as he could, without exposing what he saw.

“Hmmm… it could mean many things! I guess it depends on the artist…I would just assume that the subject is the artist’s muse.” You replied, nonchalantly, sitting on your bed as Senku packed his stuff.

“If you were to draw your muse over and over again…what would that mean?” he asked, by now he towered over your sitting form, and watched as you slightly turned red by his question.

“W-what? W-why are you asking?” you stuttered out, confused by his questions.

“Just curious…about art and stuff…you’re the only artist I know…” Senku said quietly, looking into your eyes.

“Well…it’s like I’ve always said,” you looked away from his eyes as you glanced at your hands, smudged with pencil stains. “My muses are my love.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/n: Thank you so much for reading! If anyone has suggetions or requests don't hesistate to ask! Just please be patient with me!

[writinglionqueen]

How's Your Head

It hurt.

Goddamn did it hurt.

Your head was pounding as the crew rush you backstage after receiving a nasty bump from your match. Your ears were ringing and the lights were starting to look like a kaleidoscope with every uneven step.

Of course you would receive such a bump during your match; hitting your head on one of the ring posts. It almost knocked you out but the hot feeling of blood running down your head kept you in until you got the win. But it wasn't long until the crew come down to get you out of the ring. They were quick to rush you to the medical room so they could inspect your condition there.

And not far behind you and the crew, you knew Drew was there. He had watched your match backstage like he always did. So, he had watched as you hit your head and everything. He was probably worried out of his mind for you, given the nature of the relationship you and him head. And you had faintly heard his voice through the crew's utterings of what to do when they got you to the room. You couldn't pay him any mind as one of the medical personnel looked at your head assessing if your wound needed any stitches or staples.

"Good and bad news," the medic said. "The good news is that it's not that deep or big. Bad news is that it you will need a couple staples." You gave a thumbs up to let them know you had heard and to proceed. The person was quick to numb the area, staple you up and clean what they could. "There's a good chance you have a concussion. I want you to lie down when you get to your hotel. Turn the lights out. I was gonna say that I was gonna fetch someone to take you to your hotel but I'm sure the Scotsman outside will take you, he's been outside since we started this." You nodded very slightly. Your head was still ringing.

The medic left, closing the door behind them. You closed your eyes and bowed your head, hoping the pain would die away. Maybe the medic had told you they had something for you to take when they were done but you didn't hear it and you didn't dare open your eyes to try and find it. And this was your first head injury since the start of your career. At least one that caused you to now be concussed. You wondered what you needed to do because of this. Drew would know.

The door clicked open and footsteps came into the room. It was Drew. No doubt about it.

"You ok?" he asked you as quietly as he could. He probably knew what you were feeling and new that loud sounds would only make it worse.

"Yeah," you hoarsely say.

"Looks like they left you something to take for the pain if you haven't taken anything yet," he mentioned. You gave a quick sigh of relief.

"That's good, I need it."

"How's your head?"

"Never had any complaints," your PG-13 mind was very quick to quip even with the pounding your head was feeling. Of course you wouldn't miss a beat.

Your quip had Drew chuckling.

"You know Princess, when you're up for it I'll take you up on the offer," he said to you. "But for now, let's get you to the hotel to rest up." You smiled at that.

"That sounds nice," you sigh. "This is gonna suck, isn't it?" Another chuckle sounded from Drew.

"Not as much as you will when you're no longer concussed."

You wanted to laugh. You really did but the act of smiling made your head pound worse.

"Fuuuuck," you groaned before holding your hand out. "Give me the pills first then we can go." Drew sighed.

You both could tell this was going to be a long night...and not in a fun way.

~~~

So I had a funny quip that I thought would make a good quick fic...and i ran with it. Sorry y'all that it's been a while since I've given you a real fic. Life's life haha!

Hope you like this though. If you did please don't forget to like and reblog for support. 💛🖤

Tag: @acon1120 @adriennegabriella @alination @amariemoore @andie01 @annoyingasian @ashkrystal @astolenheartnkiss @axelwolf8109 @baemcintyre @beckyann6879 @brownskinafro @calicina @calwitch @castiellawolfkissed @claymoreme @crossfitjesusinblackskinnyjeans @curlyafrogirl @daddyslittlevillain @dalia-corven @darlingambrose @dcnmarvelgamergeek @demonqueen29 @fabulousrockstar @fireyegale @fivefootxo @flawlessglamazon @fullofmelaninsarcasmandepression @gold--gucciempress @hardcoresweet45 @iceebabies @ihavenowilltolivelol @i-have-saracasm @itsicantbelievethis666 @jazzy-tzw @jeffhardyenigmawwefan @kalliravenne @ladytea19 @lemonjvicey @letsgivethisonemoreshot @lilred91

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[suhnflowerstay]

game night pt 2

taglist: @j-onepostzz @lovesunshinefelix @straykeedz @skzbangchanniee

bang chan x afab!reader, lee minho x afab!reader

wc: 10.9k

tags: toxic situationship vibes, high emotions, light angst, smut, fluff, love triangle

part 1

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minho: yo so is your friend single

Your eyes open, and Chan's still not awake. Chan typically wakes up before you do, but your brain was so restless thinking about the text from Minho and what it could mean. Chan being deep in sleep has to be a sign, you tell yourself, and your heart starts racing all over again. A large part of you knows that the man sleeping next to you would purposefully sabotage any potential fling with Minho over the weird possessiveness he feels and the double standards he holds. Luckily, you both know each other’s phone passcodes. While that knowledge typically leads to arguments and broken hearts, this time it can lead to something good. (for you at least)

In a burst of impulsivity, you grab Chan’s phone and unlock it to reply, acknowledging in your heart that there will be a fight that happens as a result of going through Chan’s phone to give your number to someone else. That, however, is a problem for future you to deal with. 

chan: yeah, y/n’s single why do you ask

You bite your lip, (im)patiently waiting for him to reply, hoping so desperately that he’s also awake right now. To your surprise, the bubble pops up to show that he’s typing, and you internally squeal, looking over to ensure that Chan is still asleep.

minho: well after last night, i just couldn’t stop thinking about how y/n’s really funny and so insanely pretty it’s crazy 

minho: and i figured if you two aren’t dating, why don’t i give it a try?

Fighting the urge to throw the phone across the room, you send Minho your number before setting Chan’s phone back on the nightstand. You already know that when he sees the messages, it’ll start another fight, but by that point, it won’t matter since you just received a text from Minho asking how you’re feeling after last night’s drinking.

Chan wakes up an hour or two later and finds the bed empty. He assumes you’re in the living room and groggily reaches for his phone, squinting while trying to read the notifications on his screen. He sees the group chat has been blowing up, and when he opens his messages app, Chan notices something weird. In his thread with Minho, your phone number is the last text sent. Chan’s positive he’s not the one who sent that, which means you must have, and he feels sick. He tries to suppress the anxiety rising from the pit of his stomach and opens up the group chat. Where everyone is talking about how hot his friend was. Cool cool cool.

hyunjin: bro chan

hyunjin: next time you bring a baddie to game night please give me a heads up

hyunjin: i was in no way ready to talk to someone who was both hot AND funny

changbin: no seriously

changbin: i also held myself back because i really thought you two were dating

changbin: i didn’t realize i missed my chance until minho yelled from across the room asking if you were dating and then whispered dibs

minho: you snooze you lose

minho: y/n is single but not for long

Chan immediately shoots into panic mode, his worst fears realized. Minho is going to ask you out. You’re going to say yes. He’s going to be amazing, and you are going to fall in love with him and get married and have 12 kids and a farm and like puppies and kitties too probably. Okay maybe he’s spiraling but…

How the hell is he supposed to compete with that and what the fuck is he going to do about it?

“You went through my phone and gave Minho your number???” Chan storms into the living room.

“Well, good morning to you too,” you say casually, looking back down at your phone to text Minho like you’ve been doing since you woke up.

“Are you going to respond at all, bro?!” Chan asks, bewildered, “Why would you text him your number from my phone? What happened to ‘I’m never gonna see him again’?”

“Well… that was before he asked if I was single, and like I told you last night, I am,” you say matter-of-factly.

Chan cannot believe what he’s hearing. His ears are ringing and he feels the blood draining from his body, especially from his face. He's sure he’s about to die because he has no idea what to do, but he knows he has to sabotage it somehow. Maybe he’ll tell all of his friends that you and he are secretly dating or maybe he’ll tell them you have an STI or that you torture animals. One way or another he has to make sure that not a single friend of his wants anything to do with you at all. He wishes so badly he never took you to game night and that they had no idea that you existed.

Three of Chan's most attractive and charming friends all want you, and you’re clearly interested in at least one of them. If you knew the rest of his friends all had some sort of interest in you, would you also be interested in them? He’s spiraling and lost in the fear of what could possibly happen that he doesn't even realize you’re calling out his name. He looks up and he’s now sitting on the couch. How did he get here?

“Chan! Channie, are you okay?” your voice slowly fades in. You look so concerned. Have you always looked so beautiful in the mornings? Chan thinks.

“What happened?”

“You didn’t say anything for a bit, and then you straight up looked like you were about to collapse onto the floor! Your face is so pale- are you okay? Do you have alcohol poisoning?”

Chan’s face turns red, and he can’t believe he just almost fainted in front of you at the thought of you going out with Minho. He needs to learn how to hide his feelings better, and he needs to do it fast.

You make sure he’s okay and that he’s eaten before you let him know you have to head out to do homework. This, of course, is a clever lie so that you can text Minho all weekend without an extremely jealous and possessive man peering over your shoulder, watching your every move. 

What you don’t know is that Chan knows you’re doing this, or at least assuming you are, which is enough, and it’s making him progressively spiral and further lose his mind. He is overthinking every possible outcome. What if you’re talking about him? What if you don’t actually like how he is in bed and you tell his friend and now his entire friend group thinks he’s bad at sex? What if you say you don’t think he’s funny? What if you send Minho nudes? What if you send Minho nudes that he will never get? Chan doesn’t think he can handle that, and the room starts spinning again. 

What if Minho does ask you out, and what if you say yes? The yes feels like a guarantee to Chan. Not for nothing, but Minho is a super good looking guy. He’s super sweet and exactly what you would describe as your type, so there is nothing stopping you from saying yes. What happens next? Will you be Minho’s girlfriend? Will he have to stop sleeping with you and jacking off to your nudes on the nights he doesn’t see you? Will you even still consider him your friend after everything you two have done? Is he going to lose you forever to a man who can’t tell if two people are dating or cousins?

---

You’d been texting Minho all weekend, getting to know each other, and as you walk up to campus on Monday morning, you’re honestly disappointed that he hasn’t alluded to any plan to see you or take you out on a date. As you walk towards your first class, a boy with purple hair suddenly pops up in front of you.

“Hi, beautiful,” he smiles.

“Hi, Minho” you respond, surprised.

“How was your weekend?” he asks, now apparently accompanying you on your walk to class. You find yourself feeling so grateful this is not the class you have with Chan because you aren’t mentally prepared for that drama right now. It is way too early for that.

“It was great. I actually met this really funny guy. He was about yay high,” you say gesturing and putting your hand at his height, “kind of crazy hair and eyes… oh! and says fucko a lot.”

“Oh wow,” he says laughing, “That sounds like a super interesting and hot guy that you should seriously consider asking to marry you. Truly sounds like a keeper,” he kids.

“I don't know that I'm thinking about marriage right now,” you say, playfully rolling your eyes.

“Boo!” he jeers, before asking, “Well if you aren’t thinking about marriage, could I interest you in thinking about a date?”

Your brain shuts down.

“YES!” you say a little too quickly, “Uh yes, yeah. For sureeee, dude. Definitely. That sounds great! I’m so down-” you ramble

“Say yes one more time, and I'll be convinced,” he jokes

“I could change my answer to no,” you warn.

“Fine, fine, fine-” he concedes as you pull up outside your classroom, “I’ll text you the details, yeah?”

“Yeah, sounds good,” you smile.

“Perfect,” he smiles back, leaning in to give you a kiss on the cheek.

Internal screaming ensues

Safe to say that your heart is racing for the rest of the day, and you might as well not have gone to class because you were not mentally present and learned nothing. The only thought in your mind is Minho, Minho, Minho, Minho, Minho-

“Y/N!!!”

Your thoughts are interrupted as you turn around to see Chan jogging up to you.

“Hey, baby,” he says, kissing you.

“Hi,” you reply softly, a little worried that someone (Minho) might be around but melting into his arms anyway.

“How were your classes? Ready to go to the library?”

In the midst of the Minho flash mob going on in your head, you had completely forgotten about your usual study date with Chan on Mondays. How were you supposed to act normal when you were patiently waiting for whatever details Minho was going to send you related to your date?

Chan could sense something was off with you, so he said, “Let’s call off studying for the day and take a drive. What do you think?”

“Sure, sounds fun!” you said thankful to hopefully have more of a distraction than your usual table at the library would give you. You had no clue where he was taking you until you wound up at the beach.

“Hello? What are we doing here?” you laugh.

“Well clearly you’re feeling overwhelmed about something, so I figured a walk on the beach would help since it always does,” he takes your hands into his, looking down shyly. Chan’s behavior is throwing you off, and it feels like it’s coming out of nowhere. It all feels so intimate, making your heart do cartwheels. He knows something’s wrong, so he took you to your favorite place to try to help. You nearly melt.

“Awwwww, Channieeeeee! You love me, how cute,” you softly pinch his cheek, trying to play it off. Instead of joking back, however, he slides his hand to the back of his neck with a little smile and deflects, “Let’s go get you something to eat before we take a walk, and maybe… if you want, you can talk it out, o-only if you want though.”

Talking it out isn’t really an option for you, seeing as your inner turmoil is coming from potentially being in love with Chan and definitely having a crush on Minho. You do, however, feel stress-free spending time with one of your best friends, just listening to the sounds of the ocean and giggling at whatever dumb jokes Chan makes. The familiar feeling comes creeping over you again, as you fall back into comfortable silence alongside Chan.

You are definitely a little bit in love with Chan, and there’s really no doubt now. You’ve been in denial for a very long time because… it’s Chan. He is probably your best friend in the whole wide world, and you refuse to be one of the many people that just fell in love despite him being very clear about his disinterest in relationships. It’s also not something you’re proud of. You were supposed to be totally cool and distant, and it’s entirely too late now. Both of you may have been wrong when you thought it would be simple transitioning from being best friends with someone to having sex with them without some sort of romantic feelings developing.

Even though you know Chan will never want anything other than something casual with you, seeing him in the sunset, smiling and laughing, makes your heart yearn for him even more. You think about how easy it all is and how right it feels. It's him. It just sucks that you are not the one for him... that you aren’t enough. Not enough to get him to want to commit, at least, because otherwise, you wouldn’t be in this predicament. 

The sound of your phone buzzing throws you out of your depressive spiral, the screen lighting up with texts from the man you’ve wanted to hear from all day (and the only man who might be able to help you get over Chan).

minho: hi beautiful how was your day?

minho: are you free tomorrow night?

You smile a little at your phone, and Chan takes notice. He does his best to not look suspicious as he peeks over at your phone screen to see what Minho texted you, and his heart sinks.

“Who's that?” he asks, defeated.

“Oh, it’s just Minho,” you say, looking at your phone, unaware of the frown Chan is now wearing.

“What does he want?”

You look up and see Chan clearly not doing so well, and you begin feeling defensive and ready to remind him that he’s the one that doesn’t want to commit.

“He asked me out on a date earlier and texted me just now to see when I’m free,” you reply, waiting for whatever angry or annoyed response you’re about to get.

“Oh…”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, oh…” the boy looks down, “Did you want me to say something else?”

“No...” Yes! I want you to ask me not to go! you think. I want you to tell me you’re in love with me too and that you will never want anyone but me and that no one else could possibly be me. I want you to tell me that you want me just as much as I want you!

The two of you continue your walk in the sand after you let Minho know that you are indeed free. There is far less laughter, and there is no longer a carefree feeling. Chan drops you off at home, and you feel a bit sad over the shift that’s happening with him but hopeful and excited about your date with Minho.

---

Minho does not tell you what you two are doing on the date, so you have absolutely no idea what to wear. You decide to go for something casual enough that you wouldn’t feel too overdressed if you wound up at the movie theater but not so underdressed that you’d feel uncomfortable at a higher end restaurant. At least that’s how your best friend and roommate Haechan tells you to dress. He lends a helping hand by telling you if you look absolutely horrible or like you’re trying too hard. It may seem like it’s harsh, but he is tired of watching you cry over Chan on a weekly basis.

Being your roommate and best friend means that he hears about every fight with Chan and every girl you see Chan with. He sometimes even hears your fights if they happen in your shared apartment. He wants this to go well as much as you do, for your sake. You deserve someone sweet and caring who is serious about you, and from what Haechan has heard so far, Minho seems like he might be all of those things. This sentiment is reinforced when Minho picks you up.

Minho shows up to pick you up, but he picks you up. He doesn’t just text you that he’s outside. This man actually walks up to your door with flowers, and you are completely shocked. He's dressed in a button down shirt and some black pants, so you definitely feel comfortable with your choice of outfit.

“Wow, your place is really nice. It definitely feels like you,” he says, taking time to look at all the pictures of you and your friends, while you put the flowers in a vase. Then, he sees a picture of you with Chan.

“How long have you been friends with Chan?”

Taken aback by his question, you nearly drop the vase.

“Um- a few years. We met while both our families were on vacation, so we had a long distance friendship for a while before we decided to go to the same university,” you say, finally putting the vase down with the flowers arranged nicely. 

“Well that’s lucky. I'm glad you did because now I get the pleasure of getting to know you,” he says, grinning as he walks back up to you. 

Your cheeks warm, “H-how long have you been friends with Chan?”

“Oh, since childhood, like basically my entire life-“ he laughs, “I was always closer with his cousin Felix because we had similar interests, but Chan was always around as well. It’s actually super lucky that we met because I actually wasn’t going to go to the game night at all, but when I heard Chan was going, I knew I could get him to help me with the homework.”

“Oh wow, so we only met so that you could cheat on your homework?” you fake pout. 

“Nooooo! Don’t say it like that! We met because fate wanted us to meet,” he smiles dreamily.

“Whatever you say, Minho,”  your cheeks warm as you both make your way out the door to his car. 

He opens up the door for you like a true gentleman and slides over to the driver's side. 

“Do you have any idea where we’re going?”

“I do not!”

“Okay, perfect!” he responds, as he speeds off. 

You chat a bit on the drive, just getting to know each other more. You learn that he’s obsessed with hip-hop dancing, which feels crazy considering his being a STEM major. He tells you about his cats and how in love with them he is and how much he loves his family. The ride to your unknown destination is basically never silent and filled with lots of teasing and giggles. 

Finally, you arrive at your destination, and you look up to see you’re at the beach, once again. 

“I remember you mentioning in one of the messages that the beach is really relaxing and a safe space for you, so I thought it would be a good idea for a first date to quell any nervousness” he says, looking unsure of whether you are happy with his choice or not.

“Minho… this is so sweet. This is a great idea, thank you-” you hug him and give him a kiss on the cheek. He blushes lightly and leads you on your way. 

Minho planned for you two to have dinner at this small restaurant with a perfect view of the sunset. The meal was amazing, and the company you had was even better. Dinner was just an extension of the conversation you were having on the drive over, and after dinner, you then walked around the pier and decided it might be nicer to walk along the beach to avoid the crowds and have a more intimate and private date. 

Minho made you feel so secure, and he made you feel so heard and validated. You never ran out of things to talk about. This dynamic isn’t something you’ve experienced before, and it’s a refreshing change of pace. In fact, it’s such a change of pace that it’s kind of making you…

Is basic affection and respect making you horny?

You are suddenly hyper aware of your body and its proximity to Minho’s body. Your hands keep drifting closer to each other as you walk alongside each other, lightly touching but never making that connection. Your eyes move to his lips as he talks, and you can’t believe how gorgeous his smile is. He probably has the softest looking lips you’ve ever seen on a man. He must use a lot of lip balm, you think. Men usually don’t have such moisturized lips. Then, you realize that the lips you’re looking at are no longer moving and neither is the body they’re attached to. 

“Can I interest you in anything?” Minho asks smugly once you finally look up at his eyes.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry I can't believe I zoned out like that,” you reply, mortified.

“I’ll forgive you if you tell me what you were thinking about,” he smirks.

“I was thinking about how soft your lips must be,” you say matter-of-factly.

Minho’s facade crumbles a bit as he wasn’t expecting you to be so direct, and he looks down at your lips before looking back up into your eyes.

“Would you like to find out?” he asks and you immediately smash your lips against his. He has no idea where to put his hands. All he knows is he wants them all over you before finally landing on keeping them on your face. You finally part for air, and Minho has a hungry look in his eyes. 

“So my place or yours?” you say, chest heaving as you catch your breath.

“Definitely yours.”

Thank God Haechan decided to give you the apartment.

You tumble into your little apartment with Minho, hands grasping at each other, desperately needing to feel each other. One by one, articles of clothing are getting strewn about on your path to the bedroom before you finally land at your final destination, and the two of you are basically naked. He lays you back in bed and leaves kisses as he makes his way down to where you need him most. You haven’t really had sex with anyone but Chan for a while, so having a new set of hands and lips on you is making you more sensitive than you thought you’d be. You shiver at every light touch and Minho notices. 

“What’s wrong baby? Been a while?” he smirks. You decide to ignore him and instead say, “Please-”

“Please what, sweetie? I need words.”

“Please touch me-”

“Oh, don’t worry, darling. I will- I’ve been wanting to taste you since the moment I laid eyes on you.”

He finally makes it down to where you need him, and he licks a stripe over your underwear, groaning.

“Fuck, you smell and taste so good, and I haven’t even gotten the real thing yet,” he says, more to himself than anything.

He tears off your underwear, needing to get to the real thing immediately and starts messily licking and sucking at your core. Chan never really goes down on you as you usually just skip to the main event, so, it has definitely been a while since you had this. You can’t stop all the noises escaping you, and they only make Minho even more feral. He is obsessed with hearing you, and he thinks he could honestly die like this and feel completely content. You taste that good. He swears he’s never had pussy this tasty, and he’s officially whipped without even being inside you yet. 

He doesn’t even have a strategy as he eats you out- he’s more just being selfish. He just wants to get as much of your taste as he possibly can, and if you happen to cum in the process, then that’s a win in his book. His unpredictability in the way he licks and sucks and moans against your cunt is making you quickly approach your high, and the second you mention any word of being close, Minho proceeds to tongue fuck you while his nose rubs against your clit. The combination immediately tips you over as you chant his name. Even after you start to come down from your high, he's desperate to keep going down on you, and you have to pull his hair to get his attention. When you do pull his head up, the look in his eyes is unlike anything you’ve ever seen. He looks starved and desperate to taste more, pupils dilated, his mouth slightly open as he’s panting, waiting for the second your hand gives so he can go back to the task at hand.

“I need you inside me, baby," you say slowly. Minho almost throws a fit but decides there’ll be more time to eat you out later. He peels off his boxer briefs, and his member slaps up against his stomach. You’re shocked to say the least. You didn’t expect him to be so… big. He was definitely bigger than Chan. I should not be thinking about Chan right now. But it’s true! Not that Chan’s small, but he’s definitely not this big. You’re practically drooling watching him stroke it.

“You can have a taste later,” he smirks, reading your mind, “I need to feel that delicious pussy suck me in.”

He rubs the tip up and down your slit, groaning, coating it with every drop of wetness he can get. He thinks he could probably get off on just rubbing up against you with how wet you are. 

“Are you ready for me, baby?”

You can only nod in response, since you’re sure you’ll start whining if you open your mouth.

He thrusts in just a little bit, and your body is already overwhelmed in the best way. Your body has to be at peak sensitivity right now because the way his cock feels entering your tight hole is otherworldly, and you’ve barely begun. When he finally fills you completely, his face can’t help but show how amazing you feel. “Fuck,” he gasps, his eyes shut, mouth open, and eyebrows knit. He might’ve been joking when he said you should propose to him, but he feels 100% serious that he would marry you right now. 

“God, please move,” you moan, barely able to keep it together.

“Whatever you need, baby.”

As he starts to move, you see stars. Your body is completely overwhelmed, and you're grasping at the sheets, trying to ground yourself. You wrap your legs around him desperate to feel all of him all over you, and he gets the hint, leaning down to kiss you while continuing to plow into you. He starts kissing your neck and groaning in your ear and saying the dirtiest things. 

“Fuck, baby. You’re so fucking tight, and you’re taking me so well,” he says, continuing at a brutal pace, “You’re being so loud, too- I bet the neighbors can hear how loud you are. I bet you love that you’re putting on a show for them- probably want them to watch, huh?” he feels you clench and he slows down, lifting himself back up to be able to see your face.

“Oh- you like being watched, huh, baby?”

You shake your head, your face getting hot knowing how turned on you were by the thought of someone seeing how good Minho is fucking you. 

“No? Are you sure because that’s not what that slutty pussy is saying, is it? I think you love being watched, and you’d let me take you in front of all my friends, huh? Hyunjin and Changbin wanted a piece of you- maybe I’d let them watch.” You clench again, unable to keep yourself from babbling and moaning. You’re almost at the edge as Minho keeps ramming into you at the same pace, hitting the perfect spot everytime.

“Fuck, baby- you’re squeezing me so fucking tight- just a little slut wanting to get passed around by my group of friends, aren’t you?” he says as he wraps his hand around your throat, “You wanna get fucked over and over, baby? That it? You aren’t satisfied with one dick?” 

“Daddy, please,” you whine, feeling yourself nearly over the edge. He leans back down to kiss you, hard. The intimacy of the close proximity, the dirty talk, the new angle he’s hitting inside of you. It’s all getting you closer and closer to your high. Then, he goes and whispers in your ear.

“Just a desperate, needy, little slut-” nibbling on your ear. This light stimulation is enough to send you over the edge, as you cum the hardest you have in a while, leaving scratches all over Minho and practically screaming his name. Minho is rapidly approaching his orgasm as your pussy tries to milk his cock for all it’s worth.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum, baby- where do you want it?” he says, getting ready to pull out. You wrap your legs around him tighter and say, “Inside.” 

“Fuck- oh my god. Shit- fuck, oh my god,” he says, releasing inside you, unable to stop himself as he continues to pound his cum deeper into your pussy. Finally, when the overstimulation is too much to bear, he pulls out, watching his cum trickle out of your hole in awe. He cleans you up before lying alongside you and wrapping his arms around you. 

“I promise I don’t usually do this on first dates,” he says, kissing you on the cheek.

“Don’t worry- I won’t slut shame you,” you joke.

“I can be a slut,” he admits, “But this is not that. I really had a good time with you today, fully clothed, and I'd like to see you again- if that’s okay with you.

Wow. He fucked you, and he still wants to see you again. In public. On a date. With the intent of something serious developing between you two…

“I would actually love that,” you smile.

---

It's now been over a month with Minho, seeing him nearly every day. You always have a good time, and he always eats you out at the end of the date. He's so into you, and it’s a really refreshing change of pace. (But that hasn’t stopped you from seeing Chan on the days that you aren’t with Minho). 

You aren’t exclusively dating Minho yet, but he has made it abundantly clear that he is okay with taking things slow, per your request. He’s so sweet- he even (re)introduces you to his friend group. 

“This is Seungmin, who was at the game night,” Minho says as the boy shyly waves. “Then there’s Chan and Felix, who you already know.” Chan gives you a tight lipped smile. “There’s also Jeongin- he couldn’t be at game night because he had a music assignment to do.”

“Nice to meet you, Jeongin,” you say, and Jeongin just smiles in return. 

“Then, there’s the troublemakers,” he jokes, and it makes you giggle a little bit which Chan notices. Chan actually notices everything. How Minho has his arm around you like it’s where it belongs. How you’re looking at him with stars in your eyes. How he is introducing you to his group of friends like you’re his girlfriend, which you definitely aren’t because he was deep inside you 2 nights ago, making you beg for his cum. 

“There’s Hyunjin who you met,” Minho starts as Hyunjin pulls you in for a hug and whispers just loud enough for Minho to hear, “There’s still time to leave him.” 

You giggle as Minho pulls you away and glares at Hyunjin. 

“Hey! This is not why I’m doing these introductions… This is Changbin,” he says, turning back to you, “He was at the party, but I don’t think you two spoke.”

“No, we did not, and that was a big mistake on my part,” Changbin says, going in for a shorter hug than Hyunjin. When he pulls away, he keeps his hands on your waist.

“Nice to meet you officially, gorgeous. I second what Hyunjin said- it’s never too late to pick the better member of the friend group.”

You are now officially flustered. Did Minho tell them about the comment he made the first night you slept together? (and several nights after that) 

You look around the group and a few of them are looking at you like they’d also like a taste… except for Chan who is glaring at Felix for staring.

“Yah! Stop it! I didn't bring them here for you guys to all stare and latch on. They’re here so that you all can meet the person I'm going to marry,” he jokes. Chan chokes. Why did Minho have to say that while he was drinking water? Now all of the attention is on Chan, everyone trying to figure out what happened. Finally, Chan is able to properly breathe again and Minho says, “Okay, well, moving on. I saved the best for last. This is my best friend Jisung!" 

The boy smiles big and gives you a hug, just like the other boys (minus the suggestive comment) and says he’s happy to finally meet you, and apologizes for being so shy previously. The boys go on having independent conversations in small clusters, and you stick by Minho’s side listening to his conversation with Hyunjin and Changbin, that is, until you feel like someone is trying to make your head explode with their stare. You turn and look over to see none other than Chan who is not giving any attention to what his cousin has to say. He is instead trying to make not your head but Minho’s head explode. He thinks that if he hopes and prays enough, Minho’s head will just roll right off his body.

“I’m gonna go catch up with Chan,” you say, and the boys let you go but not without watching you leave. Minho slaps both Changbin and Hyunjin and says, “Hey! Stop it! You’re gonna scare them away!”

“Listen, you might have called dibs, but you aren’t married yet,” Changbin says.

“I have to agree,” Hyunjin adds.

“Guys, this isn’t funny anymore- don't even look at them!” They both immediately turn to look at you and Minho sighs, exasperated.

“Hey Chan,” you say, interrupting Felix’s rant about god knows what, “Can I talk to you about that thing?” You grab Chan’s arm and walk out of earshot before saying:

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

“What are you talking about?” Chan asks, knowing all too well what you’re talking about.

“Chan, don’t play dumb- you’re looking at Minho like you want to kill him!”

“Am I not allowed to look at people?” he says, nonchalantly.

“Not when you’re looking at them like you want to kill them!” you whisper-yell.

“It’s just funny to me that he’s introducing you to everyone as if I wasn’t in your guts basically any day you weren’t with him.”

“Shhhhhhut the fuck up,” you hiss, looking back to make sure no one heard you two. “We aren’t official yet, but I like him, Chan- and you’re going to have to be okay with that.”

“Dude, he’s corny like- does he even know how to fuck you right?” he says in a cocky tone.

“You don’t want to know the answer to that, Chris, stop doing this.”

“What I can’t ask about your sex life with one of my friends?”

“No, actually. You can’t. Because you’re just going to start a fight, and look we’ve been on a few dates now. Talks are getting more serious and him introducing me to his friends is serious,” you respond.

“Minho is never serious about anyone-” he deadpans.

Your heart kinda breaks at hearing that, but you won’t let Chan know that so you throw it back on him. 

“Okay well, that’s even more of a reason for you to not be concerned and to remember that it’s none of your business. If he’s not serious, then why is it a problem- how does it affect you?”

“It doesn’t- I’m just letting you know,” he mumbles.

“Well, I didn't ask for your input. You are going to have to act normal and not be a dickhead out of spite-”

“It’s not out of spite,” he interjects, “It’s-”

“It’s? It's what, Chan?” you ask, officially heated from this conversation.

“Hey, is everything ok over here?” Minho says, coming to your rescue and wrapping an arm around your waist.

“Yeah, we were done actually,” Chan says before walking away.

You nearly roll your eyes. You look back to Minho, smiling, and wrap your arms around his neck. You stay like that, talking about anything and everything while Chan glares from afar.

---

You've been spending a lot of your days waking up in Chan’s bed and then going to sleep in Minho’s. All this juggling has you feeling all sorts of things, but also, a pro is you have never been fucked so good and consistently. It would almost be worth it if it weren’t for all of the emotional turmoil and distress you’re feeling. Minho is so incredibly sweet and he fucks you so good, but the second you get a text from Chan, you’re down bad all over again. 

For example:

3:25pm

minho: are you free tonight, beautiful?

3:25pm 

channie: babyyyyy

channie: you’re coming over tonight right?

No! Enough is enough. You decide it’s time that you fully give yourself to Minho. If you’re still sleeping with Chan, there’s no way you’ll ever be fully focusing on Minho. 

you: we need to talk

Chan's heart drops to his ass. This can’t be happening. He knows exactly what you’re going to say, and he actually thinks he will collapse this time. Maybe he does have feelings for you, but what’s he supposed to do about it now?

You show up at Chan's door, feeling like you’re going to puke out your heart. It’s just sex, right? You’re just friends who have sex, and so, this will be nothing. This will be a super easy conversation that will go so smoothly, and neither of you will feel any differently. You try to convince yourself all of that’s true and knock on the door. 

“Hey, baby,” he greets you, already looking like something’s up. 

“Hi Channie, how was your day?” you respond, walking in.

“Oh, it was pretty good. The same old shit. Hyunjin was nagging me about our group project, but it’ll be fine. What did you want to talk about?” he asks, cutting to the chase. You take a seat on the couch right next to him and try not to think about your knees touching and how you desperately want to touch more of him.

“So… as you know… I’ve been seeing Minho, and we’ve been on several dates…” Chan’s jaw clenches, “and things are going really well, honestly…” you smile genuinely. Minho has truly given you butterflies and is constantly making you feel like you’re the most gorgeous person he’s ever met. You have never ending conversations, and you truly have insane sexual chemistry. He's just not…

“Chan… we have to stop sleeping together. We always said if one of us needed to end it, we would- and I really like Minho, and I don't really want to be sleeping with anyone else while he’s trying to start a relationship with me-” you ramble, looking at the ground on that last part. “Is that okay?”

“Oh yeah- of course that’s okay! You know I can always get sex somewhere else, Y/N. It’s not a big deal,” he comments.

Well, that stings.

“Oh- okay. Great! Well… are we still friends?”

“Yeah, of course we’re still friends,” he smiles.

---

THAT WAS A LIE 

It has been two weeks since your talk with Chan, he hasn’t so much as looked at you. He hasn’t been around his group of friends, and he’s been ignoring your texts. The only time you see him is at school with his arm around random girls or one time, at a party walking up to his room with- you’ll never guess- a random girl. You try not to let it bother you, but you’re failing miserably. You’re currently at a party glaring at him with a girl sitting on his lap when Minho comes up. Minho who you have been seeing for two months and who you still haven’t let be your boyfriend.

“Hi, baby,” Minho says, coming up behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist, resting his head on your shoulder. You turn around and see he’s a little pink. He's definitely drunk. 

“Minho- honey, how much have you had to drink?”

“Like- literally nothing? I had like 4 shots of vodka,” he says, holding up 2 fingers. “Oh! And I only had a few hits off Jisung's bong,” He smiles. He's so cute. You can’t believe how cute this grown man can be. 

“Okay, maybe we should go home- how does that sound baby?” you say in your sweetest voice because you know the cuteness overload will get him to listen to you.

“Aw- I can’t say no to youuuuu,” he smiles, booping your nose.

You walk him through the crowd as he has both arms wrapped around your shoulders so as to not lose you. He decides he isn’t ready to leave just yet and pulls you in the direction of dancing bodies. 

“Minhoooooooo-”

“Come on, baby, just one dance? Please?” he pouts. You may know his weaknesses, but he knows yours too. 

“Fineeeeee,” you sigh. “Just one,” you say, holding a finger up to let him know you’re serious.

Chan sees you two dancing and fights every urge to not get up and steal you away from Minho. He hates how happy you look and how close the purple-haired boy is to you. He hates knowing that you’ll be in his bed tonight or maybe he’ll be in yours, but either way you’ll definitely be with Minho and not with him. He wishes once again that he would’ve never taken you to that stupid game night. He thinks about how he lost his chance as he watches you full of joy with a man who is giving you everything you’ve ever asked for.

---

You luckily were able to get Minho home safely and stayed the night at his place to make sure he was taken care of. You wake up to the smell of him making breakfast, and you walk into the kitchen absolutely gobsmacked at how normal and not hungover he seems. 

“I don’t understand how you just never suffer the consequences of your actions.”

“Someone up there really wants me to make you breakfast without being hungover- I don’t know what to say,” he laughs before turning to kiss you on the forehead. “How’d you sleep, gorgeous?" 

Everything is so domestic with him. It just works. So why does it feel like something’s wrong? All of a sudden you’re hit with so much emotion, and you start crying in Minho’s kitchen. 

“Whoa, are you okay? What's wrong? What did I say?” he asks, concerned, pulling you in for a hug.

You start crying harder because it’s not Minho’s fault, and it could never be Minho’s fault. All this time, you’ve been repressing your emotions, and this is how they boil over. Over a forehead kiss from the sweetest, hottest, best man because you know you can never truly belong to him. 

“It's Chan, isn’t it?”

“Wha- huh?” you look up and Minho isn’t mad or angry, but he gives you a look of compassion and understanding.

“I mean, it is Chan, right- like it’s not Hyunjin or Changbin or something? I’d be pissed if it was either of them,” he shakes his head, keeping his arms around you.

“Minho, I'm so sorry. I really do like you- I just- I'm a mess, and I thought I was over Chan and being with you made me feel like I could get over him, but it wasn’t fair to you- and it didn’t even help-” you cry a few more tears into his chest before looking back up at him, “How did you know?”

“If I’m being honest… I knew from the day I met you. That’s why I had to double check you two weren’t dating. You looked at each other with stars in your eyes. I'm definitely interested in you, but it was clear to me that something was going on between you two, and that I, more than likely, wouldn't be able to tie you down.”

“I’m sorry, Minho. I’m so sorry. I mean, I know I have feelings for Chan but I doubt he feels that way about me-”

“Oh. He definitely does. He has not been able to stop staring at me like he wants to rip my head off in class. He’s definitely jealous,” he laughs

“Yeah, but jealousy doesn’t need to involve feelings,” you retort.

“Trust me, it does. I've known Chan for a while, and he has never been so upset or jealous over someone. And he has never targeted that jealousy at me. Not to be crass, but… we’ve sort of shared before.”

Your jaw drops. “WHAT? What do you mean shared??”

“Why? Are you interested?” he smirks. 

“Minho,” you deadpan (though you definitely are interested, but that’s not the priority right now). 

“I mean that we have actually shared… you know, been in the same bed? Tunnel buddies? Crossing streams? But we’ve also found out that we slept with the same people and sort of… compared notes once we realized.”

“Ugh, Minho, ew! Why would you do that?”

“Listen, it was just out of curiosity! In my defense, I am not typically interested in relationships and usually just sleep around. And also to be fair, we only compared like twice, okay?? But regardless, we have shared and also slept with the same people, and he has never had an issue with me going for anyone he’s ever slept with.”

“Okay…” you respond, skeptical.

“Okay. So that means you’re special, duh” he rolls his eyes.

“Minho, I just really don’t think that Christopher Chan Bang likes me the way you think he does.”

“I don’t think he likes you. I know that he loves you, but I think I know a way to help you out and prove it,” he says with a mischievous smile.

“What are you going to do?”

---

Another day, another party. Chan shows up with Felix and looks around the room, not really interested in seeing anyone but you. He's really hoping you’re not near Minho right now- but well, there’s Minho, surrounded by their group of friends, and he looks awfully smug. 

“Dude, I can’t believe you’ve been playing them this whole time! It looked so real,” Jeongin looks incredulous. 

“Wait, but do you think I have a chance? What was it like?” Changbin asked, desperate to know more.

Minho sees Chan come up and says, “They tasted so good,” provoking the already annoyed older man. “No wonder you kept Y/N around for so long,” he says, now making direct eye contact with Chan, “but they just never. stop. yapping. Like sometimes, I just want to stick my dick in their mouth to get them to shut up.” 

Jisung knows that these aren’t Minho’s real feelings at all and is very confused as to why Minho would say these things in front of his friends. He’s ready to stand up for you when he sees the look on Chan’s face and suddenly understands what’s going on.

Chan is fuming. He can’t believe his ears. This is the guy you chose over him? This is the guy that’s going to sleep in your bed every night? He’s fighting every urge to rip Minho’s head off until Minho makes a pointed comment:

“That’s all Y/N’s good for. Am I right, Chan?”

Chan is not in control of his body when he swings at Minho’s face, hitting him square on the nose. Felix and Jisung have to physically pull Chan away as he continues to try to swing at him.

“What the fuck is your problem?!” Minho screams.

“Y/N’s too good for you-” he hisses, thrashing against Felix and Jisung.

“Oh yeah? And what are you going to do about it?”

“Fucking- let go of me!” he pushes the younger boys off and storms off.

There is only one thing he can focus on right now: finding you. He sees you off in another corner of the frat playing beer pong with Hyunjin by your side and fights the urge to punch another one of his friends for being within 2 feet of you.

“I need to talk to you-” he grabs your arm, dragging you away from the game.

“Wait, I was playinggg,” you whine.

“Don’t care.”

“Where are we going?” you ask, now extremely confused.

You finally make it to one of the bedrooms, looking around at the decor, this must be Felix’s room if the gaming setup is telling you anything.

“I'm with Minho,” you say indignantly as a reminder to Chan, knowing full well you aren't with Minho. His plan must have worked if Chan is in such a fuss over needing to talk to you.

“He’s a bitch, and you need to break it off with him.”

“Um… are you going to elaborate? You being pissed that I’m not fucking you anymore is not a good enough reason to end things with Minho.”

“He doesn’t give a shit about you, Y/N!” he responds, frustrated that you aren’t listening.

“Oh and you do? You haven’t even talked to me since I ended things with you, Chris!”

This is it. He’s going to say it, and it is in fact even scarier than he could have ever imagined.

“Yes, actually, I do- I’m in love with you and I give every shit about you and you’re the only person or thing in the world that I actually give a shit about!” he almost screams.

He sits down on the bed, unable to deal with the silence as you stand there shocked. You heavily doubted but thought maybe he harboured some romantic feelings for you, similar to a crush. Love? That is not what you were prepared for.

“I’m sorry he just- he talked about you like you were a piece of meat… and- and he’s not good enough for you! And I know I'm not either but… please,” he says, not even knowing what he’s asking for, “Just- please. I’m sorry it took me so long and I know it doesn’t seem genuine because of everything that’s happened but-” He stands up and takes your hands in his.

“I promise that I have felt like this the whole time. Since meeting you on that stupid vacation, I have not been able to control how I feel about you, and when we started sleeping together- it was like I was in heaven. But I was scared of losing you. Minho coming into the picture scared my ass into taking action after realizing how close I was to actually losing you. I promise I love you even if you don’t love me… and even if you don’t love me, please don’t be with him because he-” you kiss him to end his little rant. 

Having his mouth against you again is better than anything you could’ve imagined. He’s hesitant at first, completely shocked at what’s happening, but immediately, he’s kissing you harder than he ever has. You can feel the desperation and every built up emotion he’s been holding back. Not even fireworks are enough to describe the atomic explosions going on inside you.

“Huh?” he says, completely dazed after you break apart, “Um, what was that? I-uh, I thought you were with Minho.”

“I’m not, actually,” you smile awkwardly.

“Bro, wh- what do you mean?” he asks, completely disoriented.

“Minho and I aren't together, and he was convinced that you had real feelings for me but I didn't believe him, so-”

“So, he said something that would make me want to punch him in the face,” he sighs.

“You punched him in the face??” you stop, your eyes wide.

“He was asking for it, quite literally, if what you’re telling me is true.”

“Oh wow. I really owe him big time.”

“Ummm… I don’t think you owe him anything. In fact, maybe you just never perceive Minho ever again. Sound like a good plan? I sure think so,” he says, wrapping his arms around your waist.

“Ha ha, very funny.”

“So… does this mean you have feelings for me? Real feelings?”

“Yes, dummy!” you say, nudging his shoulder, “I thought that would’ve been clear to you- you’re the one that was always out of reach.”

“I know, I know. It was like I was trying to avoid my real feelings for you and ended up self sabotaging.”

“How about now?” you ask softly, “Are you still trying to avoid your feelings?”

“Are you joking? There is absolutely no way to deny it anymore- I just punched my friend! Oh my god, I just punched my friend,” Chan repeats, in shock at the realization of what just happened. 

“It’s fine, I'm sure he’ll forgive you. I'll put in a good word for you,” you joke.

“Actually, executive decision- starting now, you can never see any of my friends ever again, you’re too hot.”

“What? They’re literally my friends now!” you argue.

“I don’t care! They think you’re hot, and now after Minho’s little stunt, they know you taste good.”

“They know WHAT?”

“Let's not think about that right now. I'm going to make love to my baby without any interruptions,” he says, tugging your hips to be flush against his.

“Oh? Your baby huh? I don’t remember you asking me to be in a relationship,” you tease.

“Baby, beautiful, love of my life, will you please let me be your boyfriend?”

“I guess,” you sigh, pretending not to care before pushing him on the bed and straddling him. “This has been a long time coming, Channie. I can't believe you made me wait so long,” you say grinding down on him. “That's not very fair to me, huh?”

Chan is unable to think, feeling you rub against him for the first time in a long time. God, he’s missed you.

“Now tell me. Do you have a condom?” 

“Wait, why would I need a condom?” he sits up, confused, way too distracted by how good you feel against him. 

“Chan, I know you’ve been sleeping with other people,” you stop your maneuvering on his lap, anticipating an argument.

He whines, “No, baby, I haven't.”

He's tried to fuck other people, but he hasn’t been able to follow through with sleeping with anyone since you left. 

“I wasn’t able to stop thinking about you. There was no interest for me. I couldn’t fuck someone else even if I tried.”

“But- you had girls on your lap and you’d take girls upstairs?”

“That was like one time, and it was just to make you jealous” he sinks. “I never did anything with her. I couldn't. She wasn’t you…” he trails off, looking embarrassed. 

“Look at me, and tell me you didn’t sleep with anyone else.”

“I didn’t sleep with anyone else, my love. I couldn't. I only want you. I have always only wanted you. I love you.”

Finally.

You kiss him, and it’s the explosions all over again, but it’s even more emotion-filled this time. You were ready to experience what you always have: a passion filled desperate kiss. However, that isn’t the kiss you get. You can feel the love through the softness in the way he kisses you. He really wasn’t lying when he said he was going to make love to you. This lovestruck boy is going to make up for lost time. 

He gently takes you off his lap, making you stand up, so that he can get you completely naked before laying you down. He moves his lips down to your jaw, kissing down to your neck and shoulder. He removes your shirt and leaves your torso completely bare before continuing to kiss down your body. He’s on his knees when he takes your bottoms off and looks at you in awe.

“God, I’ve missed this.”

He spreads your legs and kitten licks at your slit, immediately groaning at the taste he has craved for weeks. You’re so wet and he’s barely started touching you. You whine, and he realizes that keeping you standing is probably not ideal for what he’s trying to do. He gently lays you down, kissing you softly once again before going back to where you need him most. He doesn’t lick lightly this time, and he immediately captures your clit in his mouth. He begins to eat you like a man starved, as if he’s in a desert, and you are the last glass of water. The man cannot get enough of you, messily making out with your cunt, groaning and making the dirtiest sounds. You can hear how wet you are from the squelching sounds he’s making and if it wasn’t for how insanely good it feels, you might feel embarrassed. Chan has never eaten you out like this- it’s something you didn’t even know was possible from him. He almost never went down on you before, but now it’s like he needs your pussy to survive.

Chris cannot get enough of you. He is so lost in your cunt that he doesn’t realize that you’re telling him you’re close. You start grinding against his face chasing your high, and he decides to help the process by harshly sucking on your clit. You throw your head back and swear you see stars because you’ve never cum so hard from head before. You have to pull on Chan’s hair to get his head away from your core, and when you do, his face is covered in your slick. The way he looks at you is completely animalistic and it takes everything in him to not go right back into eating you out.

“Daddy, I need you- please,” you beg, as he moves his hands up and down your thighs, wanting to feel and caress all of you.

“Sweetheart, I have been thinking for weeks nonstop about how I needed to taste you again. You can give me one more orgasm, right? You’re gonna let me stretch you out on my fingers and tongue fuck that pretty pussy, right?”

You almost whine, but he’s never been so eager to go down on you. As much as you’ve missed his cock, this new side of Chan is turning you on so much. He sees the look on your face and knows you’re giving in, causing him to dive right back in. His digits slide into you with ease, slick from your first orgasm. Your walls are already clenching around his fingers, sensitive and still reeling from cumming so hard. It turns him on so much- he starts moaning into your pussy. Chan is so desperate to rip another orgasm out of you before finally getting to feel you around his cock.

“God, yes, just like that, Daddy,” you writhe underneath him, already close.

“Play with your tits for me, baby-”

You tweak your nipples, arching your back, but Chan presses his hand onto your lower abdomen, making the sensations even more overwhelming. Chan’s fingers curl perfectly against your g-spot and your whole body feels like it’s on fire. This orgasm feels like it’s radiating even more than the last one. He eats you through your high, not stopping until you’re pushing him away. 

“How was that?” he checks in, giving you a quick peck on the cheek. “Are you okay? Do you still want me inside you, baby?” “Yes, Chris, please- need to feel you,” you pout.

He immediately gets up and gets naked as fast as is physically possible.

“How do you want me?” you ask, still fuzzy from your two intense orgasms. He puts you in missionary, without answering, before lining himself up with your hole.

“I’m not going to last very long, sweetie. Eating you out nearly made me cum untouched.” You almost moan at this admission. “Wanna look at you when I fill you up with my cum,” your boyfriend states. 

He thrusts in, filling you to the brim, and both of your mouths fall open into a gasp. The sensation is so overwhelming, you can hardly breathe. 

“Baby- please,” you beg, needing him to move. 

“Feels so fucking good, pretty,” he grunts.

He begins to slowly thrust in you and bends down to attach his lips to yours. Once your lips smash together, he begins to roughly and desperately ram his hips into yours as he chases his high. Chan keeps his lips on yours, swallowing all your moans. He slightly changes the angle and his tip begins to hit your sweet spot, already bringing you close to cumming again. Chan can tell from the way that you’re sucking him in that you’re going to cum with him, and he needs just one thing from you.

“Tell me you love me,” he pleads, eyebrows scrunched together in pleasure. He’s so close, and he needs these 3 words from you to tip him over the edge.

“I love you, Chan. I love you I love you I love you,” you moan, not stopping. I love yous flow out of your mouth in every breath and soon Chan is filling you up, the sensation ripping one last orgasm out of you.

Chan pulls out of you, not caring about the mess that would definitely be left on his cousin’s bed. The two of you lay there, panting messes. He feels like he’s dreaming, and he’s in disbelief that he has you back. Upon the realization, Chan immediately wraps his arms around you, burying his face in your neck and squeezing you.

“What are you doing?” you laugh. He responds but it’s muffled. “Channie, I can't hear a thing you’re saying.”

“I’m just so happy to have you back and so happy that I get to be your boyfriend,” he responds looking up at you, and would you look at that- he has stars in his eyes.

---

It's the first game night since you started dating Chan seriously. 

“Babe, do we have to go?” your boyfriend groans, sitting on your bed. He’s looking at you through the mirror as you get ready for a return to the friend group. He has made it a point to walk you to every class since you became official, and he told you it was to make sure you know he’s proud to be your boyfriend. (But if you actually ask him, he did it so that none of his friends would be able to talk to you for more than 30 seconds.)

“Yes, of course we have to. Literally, everyone has been asking for us to go. We’ve missed 3 weeks already.”

“Yes, but everyone includes people who want to fuck you, and that’s not really people I want to be around,” he whines.

“Channie. They don’t all want to fuck me.”

-

“Thanks a lot, Minho. You could’ve let us know they were gonna end up together, so we could’ve had a shot before it happened,” Hyunjin groans.

“Listen, I would've, except I think that it’s way funnier to watch you thirst for Y/N from afar,” he laughs.

“Do you think Chan would be down to share one time for the one time?” Changbin asks.

“Listen… never say never, but if anyone is going to convince him first, it’s going to be me,” Minho winks before walking up to greet you and Chan.

“Hi, Y/Nie!” he says, giving you a big hug that lasts longer than Chan would like.

“Hi Minho,” you smile.

“I hope you know that everyone here wants to fuck you,” the mischievous purple-haired boy loudly whispers.

You slap him on the shoulder, “And whose fault is that?”

“Listen, I wasn’t going to lie about my personal experience at the Y/N establishment,” he says, hands up.

“Yeah, but you didn’t have to say all that. Now everyone knows how they taste,” Chan butts in, grumbling.

“Well listen, I have to keep you on your toes, Bang Chan. Now you know that if you slip up, Y/N has several guys waiting desperately to swoop in and save the day.”

“And now you know,” Minho says looking at you now, “if he ever fucks up, I can fuck you real good and make you forget all about it.”

“We’re going to go now,” Chan says, dragging you away. “I told you they all want to fuck you-” he groans.

“Okay, I didn’t think it would be this bad. Lucky for you, I’m ending up in your bed tonight and every night til you get sick of me.”

“Lucky for me, that’s never going to happen,” he says, giving you a wet sloppy kiss.

----------

a/n: lol it only took me a year to complete pt 2. sorry! since the first part was based on my real life it was hard to decide where part 2 should go. this was genuinely like a therapeutic exercise lol i wasn’t sure if i wanted the mc to end up with chan or minho because i wasn’t sure what made the most sense. i ended up choosing chan over minho because i thought that might be the best idea for what most people would want. plus i think creating a story where the person does change and does become the guy you deserve is very sweet and hopeful. while in real life i think the minho character makes more sense, i think chan being endgame is romantic. i also SUCK at writing smut i think i just don’t have the creativity for it- it was SO HARD however i did entertain the idea of writing a side bit where chan actually does allow minho/hyunjin/changbin a shot to sleep with y/n because i love 3some/4some/5somes hahahah but anyway thanks for reading this far i hope you have/are having a beautiful day!! <3

[kakyogay]

⚠️ploppy playbime chaper 3 spoiler and gore warnig ⚠️

the line goes so hard!!!!!1

(stupid dog getting me really into this stuid game and breaking my rain world streak grrr grrrr >:[ /pos)

pics without text under cut <3

[katabay]

original thief series basso & garrett :)

ngl, it's about quality over quantity for me. an npc can have a total of three minutes of screen time, but if they have a cool name, they can live rent free in my head and I'll spend several hours trying to decipher drawable features from a blurry screenshot of pixels

there is a vague hint of a story here, and that's because every time I try to play thi4f, I get incredibly frustrated with how Not Fun the game play is. like, is the story good? well. but it has a PLAGUE. that should've given it instant 'I'll replay this once a year' status in my heart, but the game play sucks so bad that I've never finished it. I can't believe Not Fun gameplay beat out my obsession with narrative plagues.

anyway, the idea is basically if the original era had a game with a plague centric narrative and some other stuff I liked out of thi4f thrown into a narrative blender, with a heavy dash of horror thrown in because some parts of the thief games were scarier to me than entire dedicated horror genre games.

⭐ places I’m at! bsky / pixiv / pillowfort /cohost / cara.app

[faenemy]

i return from the aether with starfire doodles

fire hair go brrrrrrr

[meowuff]

OKAY! This lil thing here is my contribution for @littlemissartemisia DTIYS!

I had to cut it shorter, I didnt wanted to let it get any longer than it already is and was thinking a lot of "how" and "who" and stuff but I think it looks okay!

Congrats to 800 followers!!!! \( ﾟヮﾟ)/

HEADS UP FOR UNDER THE CUT!

This comic involves some character death and violence.

[bl00dalchemist]

'They love eachother' i say, as i draw them in situations that are, in fact, not loving.

[flywolfwriting]

Beyond the Path of Reason

The worst part about molting was the itching. It was terrible while his wings were out, but when they were tucked away the itching spread to his skin, like the molt needed to manifest itself physically in one way or another. Lucifer often left his molt until he couldn’t bear it anymore, too overwhelmed by the task to force himself to face it until the alternative was worse.

The truth was he hated looking at his wings. They were a constant reminder of heaven, of his fall; once pure white, they were now stained with the blood of the first sinner. He still remembered that day clearly, when some of his elder siblings had come to fetch him and Lucer thought he’d been forgiven, that he could come home - but instead they pinned him to the ground and soaked him in Abel’s blood and the stains had never truly come out. That first molt he thought he would finally be rid of it but he was wrong - some of his white plumage returned, but only along the lesser coverts, and the tenth primaries. The rest of his feathers grew in that brilliant, terrible red, as vivid as the day he’d seen it spilled upon the ground.

For a long time Lilith was there to help him, and he could just squeeze his eyes shut while she preened for him. The last couple centuries, however - since Charlie had been born - he’d been left on his own. He’d eventually gotten used to looking at them, of course; how couldn’t he when he’d lived so long? He’d even mastered pretending it was fine and his wings didn’t bother him one bit! He could even show them off; See? Look and big and awe-inspiring my wings are!

But that’s all they were. Tools. And later, when he was alone, Lucifer would close his eyes and try to forget the image of Abel sprawled across the ground, head smashed in, until the Angels of God used his blood to tarnish the Morning Star’s plumage.

God’s favored indeed.

Now he was living at the hotel, surrounded by sinners he could call friends, with his daughter and her own fallen angel at her side. He could almost forget how much he hated himself with them around.

Almost.

Lucifer’s quarters were big; bigger than they had any right to be, really, but he didn’t need to leave them for anything if he didn’t need to. He had a large, luxurious bathroom, a large sitting room, a small kitchen, and of course an opulent bedroom that served more as a workroom than actual sleeping quarters.

That was where he was now, having told his daughter he would be gone for a few days working on ‘business’ but would be back by next week. She’d given him a timid smile and soft, “Okay,” and he knew she wondered if he would be back at all.

It was a crushing reminder of just how awful a person he was.

He heard a swell of laughter in the distance and peeked out his window to see the hotel’s residents descending the hill as a group, heading into town for one thing or another.

Lucifer scratched at his shoulder as he watched them go. He could probably afford to pop down to the bar and snag a bottle of something to help take the edge off when he finally got around to getting his wings out. Not that sinners’ alcohol really did much for him.

Mistake.

Alastor stood by the bar, hands propped on his newly repaired microphone, silently watching as Lucifer stepped through the portal. Lucifer froze, briefly considering turning around and facing the week without the solace of alcohol. He couldn’t be seen to be fleeing the Radio Demon, though, no matter how much his skin itched, so he straightened his shoulders and marched behind the bar without acknowledging the sinner.

It seemed for several blissful minutes that Alastor would offer him the same courtesy, even if he was openly staring at Lucifer. That hope was dashed when, holding several bottles of hard liquor, Lucifer returned to his still-open portal. Before he could step through that oh-so-pompous voice said, “My, my, Your Majesty, you have quite the selection there. Planning on throwing a party?”

Don’t take the bait, don’t take the bait, don’t take the bait- Lucifer turned and glared at him. “If I was, I wouldn’t be inviting you.”

Alastor’s grin widened by a fraction. “And who would you invite, sire? Not your daughter, clearly. I wonder how she would feel, knowing you waited until everyone left to have your friends over.”

“You little shit,” Lucifer said.

“The alternative is all those bottles are for you. But wait! Didn’t you tell our dear Charlie you would be away on business?” Red eyes narrowed. “If it turned out that business was drinking half the bar, that would be quite pathetic, don’t you agree?”

Lucifer grit his teeth, resisting the urge to snap back. He had too much on his mind, was too twisted up in his own anxiety and depression to worry about an asshole sinner. He turned away.

“Oh dear. You appear to be bleeding.”

Lucifer stopped again, this time looking at the demon in confusion. “What?”

Alastor’s brows rose as his head cocked to the side. “Your neck is bleeding. And it appears some sort of beast has been at your arms.”

Looking down Lucifer saw inflamed golden scratches criss-crossing his forearms, and something warm dripped down his spine. He swore quietly. He hadn’t realized he’d been scratching so much.

“You appear to be in distress, Your Highness.”

“What do you care?” Lucifer snapped, nearly dropping several bottles as he shifted in an attempt to stop himself digging his nails into his arms again. The pressure in his back grew worse with his agitation, his wings insistently pushing against the ether in which they were currently trapped.

“Perhaps I am merely curious what could cause someone of your status such concern,” Alastor said airily, “especially if you’re willing to lie to sweet Charlie to hide away so pitifully.”

“Leave Charlie out of th- ah!” Lucifer’s words broke off in a choked cry as his wings exploded from his back, somehow relieving the pressure and worsening everything all at once.

Oh. Oh no. He had let it go too long; it was the worst he could remember it ever being, a feeling like a million spiders skittering over every part of him, digging their little pincers into his skin, burrowing in his feathers-

He shuddered, biting back a whine.

“Oh dear,” Alastor hummed, and when Lucifer forced himself to open his eyes again he found the demon staring at his wings with clear interest. “You are a mess.”

Continue on AO3

[the-last-patch]

[Initializing]

[Establishing Connection]

[Connection Failed]

[Retrying…]

[Success]

[Beginning Audio Transmission]

-Useless piece of junk! Oh wait, does that light mean it’s working? Oh! Oh It does! Hello Omninet, does anyone read me? My callsign is “Opossum” and I am currently the 15th “Patch” in the Patchwork Mercenary Group. I don’t speak on their behalf, I simply found an old Omnihook in storage and wanted to see if it still worked…which it does! This is so exciting, but I also don’t know what to say! Since I’m still pretty uneducated in this whole “world” of the Omninet I’ll end this transmission here and hear what you all have to say instead!

P.XV "Opossum", Signing off!

<Muffled> Oh I hope I didn’t sound too lame or anything in front of everyone…wait is it still transmitting?!?

[Transmission End]

[psychophanticpervert]

Nope no no no I hate drawing on paper sm guys I miss my stylus so bad

NOBODY LOOK AT THIS PLEASE.

Yunieden baby for @wreckowafer

[h-didanart]

How do you feel about TSAMS ships? All the way from Earth x Monty (canon/generally liked ships) to Sun x Bloodmoon (not canon/rare or generally not liked ships)?

Don't ask how I know Sun x Bloodmoon exists btw

Ooh, SAMS ships eh? I’m gonna list all the ones I know about, if I miss one you’re curious about just let me know, k?

Again, I will list the ones I know about.

(This is gonna reveal my lurking habits on ao3 god fuc—)

Mearth, Monty X Earth - cute, I like the dynamic they have.

KidsCove, Foxy X Sun - I like this one. I do. I understand the vas are sick of the jokes tho, bit ironic considering they’re still dragging the jokes around, but oh well. It could be cute to see develop, and lead to improvement to both characters general health. At least I’d like to think it would

GlitterGolf, Monty X Sun - in SAMS? No. Monty is a jerk towards Sun, I don’t like it when Monty is too rude to him. Generally hate that type of thing anyways. In canon Security Breach however…… Ye :3 Is my otp.

Lumini, Lunar X Gemini - I feel neutral. It’d be cool if it happened, but after all these three have gone through it probably won’t. And I’m fine with that

EclipseXSun - I think this is the most popular one. I don’t know how to feel about it. On one hand, there’s canon, and canon says Eclipse is and always was horrible to Sun, and that makes it an immediate no. I like my ships healthy. But then comes in Eclipse Redemption stories, and I suppose it’d kinda make sense in those? I don’t know man

BloodySun, BM X Sun - iiiii don’t knooooooow. See, BM has done a lot of shit, they’ve traumatized the family so much. Sun hates them. It would never work out. But then there’s this one fic, this one, where Sun finds Original crying in the vents over his twin, and he helps them. And— and— and it’s a BloodySun fic, and it establishes character parallels so well, it shows their feelings so well, it makes it make sense! I- I don’t KNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW

SolarMoon- ……………. I’m scared of saying anything about this, I don’t want to get death threats

MechShark, Solar X Ruin- YEEEEEEEAHHH CANON CANNOT HURT ME WHERE IM GOING— uh— ahem— I like it. I cannot explain why but I’ve shipped them since Ruin started messing with the arcade machines. I like to see people still shipping it even through the doomed angle, there’s just something about this that makes it click, y’know. I myself have an au where MechShark is somewhat canon, it’s one sided and stays one sided, with Solar telling Ruin he’s aro when it confesses, and then they stay friends. Because I don’t care if they’re lovers or friends, I just like the idea of them being buds.

Eclipse trio, Eclipse X Solar X Ruin- this is actually kinda funny? I don’t know, this feels like a crackship, no offense to anyone, that’s just the vibes I’m getting. Don’t feel in any particular way about this one

Earth X Nebula- interesting, I guess. We haven’t really seen much of Nebula and I can’t really build a concrete profile for her from what we know, but I guess it’d be cool?

KillCode X Sun- I don’t like the sound of this one. KillCode caused (and helped cause) Sun a lot of trauma, it just wouldn’t feel right. That said, there is a fic that has this ship and develops it in a healthy way, and that one I like.

PumpkinGuts- next question

KillCode X SolarFlare- I can see it, kinda. Don’t hate it, but also don’t love it

Eclipse X Moon- no. I don’t care what you say about enemies to lovers, this one just doesn’t vibe with me.

GolfDrop, Monty X Moon- ehh, no. Don’t really like it, can’t see Moon wanting a relationship with them (or in general), they’re both fine as friends. I don’t even ship this in Security Breach

Forkface X Ruined Monty- I am saddened I didn’t see the content of them before the death, I wanted to experience this, I wanted to see them :(

Soppet, Solar X Puppet- sure? Don’t think much about this one

ShadowPlanet, Earth X Eclipse- I don’t really like it. I don’t like how fast it turned into a thing. I can see the appeal and what dynamic they could have, but I just don’t like this one

Solar X Sun- interesting pairing. Don’t particularly like it. I just feel like Solar’s trauma would likely get in the way. They both weren’t very close anyways, which is a real shame I would’ve loved to see them be at least friends.

Lunar X Helpy- Ehhhh? Don’t feel anything about this one :P

And that’s all I could think about and remember.

No hate to anyone who ships these, these are just my opinions, and opinions are subjective. Let’s all just have fun with these characters, yeah?

Man

AO3 scares me

[suhnflowerstay]

game night pt 2

taglist: @sunnybutcloudy @sofix-hc7 @laziestasitgets @desiree-lee

mark lee x afab!reader, jaemin x afab!reader

wc: 10.9k

tags: toxic situationship vibes, high emotions, light angst, smut, fluff, love triangle

part 1

----------

jaemin: yo so is your friend single

Your eyes open, and Mark’s still not awake. Mark typically wakes up before you do, but your brain was so restless thinking about the text from Jaemin and what it could mean. Mark being deep in sleep has to be a sign, you tell yourself, and your heart starts racing all over again. A large part of you knows that Mark would purposefully sabotage any potential fling with Jaemin over the weird possessiveness he feels and the double standards he holds. Luckily, you both know each other’s phone passcodes. While that knowledge typically leads to arguments and broken hearts, this time it can lead to something good. (for you at least)

In a burst of impulsivity, you grab Mark’s phone and unlock it to reply, acknowledging in your heart that there will be a fight that happens as a result of going through Mark’s phone to give your number to someone else. That, however, is a problem for future you to deal with. 

mark: yeah, y/n’s single why do you ask

You bite your lip, (im)patiently waiting for him to reply, hoping so desperately that he’s also awake right now. To your surprise, the bubble pops up to show that he’s typing, and you internally squeal, looking over to ensure that Mark is still asleep.

jaemin: well after last night, i just couldn’t stop thinking about how y/n’s really funny and so insanely pretty it’s crazy 

jaemin: and i figured if you two aren’t dating, why don’t i give it a try?

Fighting the urge to throw the phone across the room, you send Jaemin your number before setting Mark’s phone back on the nightstand. You already know that when he sees the messages, it’ll start another fight, but by that point, it won’t matter since you just received a text from Jaemin asking how you’re feeling after last night’s drinking.

Mark wakes up an hour or two later and finds the bed empty. He assumes you’re in the living room and groggily reaches for his phone, squinting while trying to read the notifications on his screen. He sees the group chat has been blowing up, and when he opens his messages app, Mark notices something weird. In his thread with Jaemin, your phone number is the last text sent. Mark’s sure he’s not the one who sent that, which means you must have, and he feels sick. He tries to suppress the anxiety rising from the pit of his stomach and opens up the group chat. Where everyone is talking about how hot his friend was. Cool cool cool.

johnny: bro mark

johnny: next time you bring a baddie to game night please give me a heads up

johnny: i was in no way ready to talk to someone who was both hot AND funny

jaehyun: no seriously

jaehyun: i also held myself back because i really thought you two were dating

jaehyun: i didn’t realize i missed my chance until jaemin yelled from across the room asking if you were dating and then whispered dibs

jaemin: you snooze you lose

jaemin: y/n is single but not for long

Mark immediately shoots into panic mode, his worst fears realized. Jaemin is going to ask you out. You’re going to say yes. He’s going to be amazing, and you are going to fall in love with him and get married and have 12 kids and a farm and like puppies and kitties too probably. Okay maybe he’s spiraling but…

How the hell is he supposed to compete with that and what the fuck is he going to do about it?

“You went through my phone and gave Jaemin your number???” Mark storms into the living room.

“Well, good morning to you too,” you say casually, looking back down at your phone to text Jaemin like you’ve been doing since you woke up.

“Are you going to respond at all, dude?!” Mark asks, bewildered, “Why would you text him your number from my phone? What happened to ‘I’m never gonna see him again’?”

“Well… that was before he asked if I was single, and like I told you last night, I am,” you say matter-of-factly.

Mark cannot believe what he’s hearing. His ears are ringing and he feels the blood draining from his body, especially from his face. He's sure he’s about to die because he has no idea what to do, but he knows he has to sabotage it somehow. Maybe he’ll tell all of his friends that you and he are secretly dating or maybe he’ll tell them you have an STI or that you torture animals. One way or another he has to make sure that not a single friend of his wants anything to do with you at all. He wishes so badly he never took you to game night and that they had no idea that you existed.

Three of Mark's most attractive and charming friends all want you, and you’re clearly interested in at least one of them. If you knew the rest of his friends all had some sort of interest in you, would you also be interested in them? He’s spiraling and lost in the fear of what could possibly happen that he doesn't even realize you’re calling out his name. He looks up and he’s now sitting on the couch. How did he get here?

“Mark! Markie, are you okay?” your voice slowly fades in. You look so concerned. Have you always looked so beautiful in the mornings? Mark thinks.

“What happened?”

“You didn’t say anything for a bit, and then you straight up looked like you were about to collapse onto the floor! Your face is so pale- are you okay? Do you have alcohol poisoning?”

Mark’s face turns red, and he can’t believe he just almost fainted in front of you at the thought of you going out with Jaemin. He needs to learn how to hide his feelings better, and he needs to do it fast.

You make sure he’s okay and that he’s eaten before you let him know you have to head out to do homework. This, of course, is a clever lie so that you can text Jaemin all weekend without an extremely jealous and possessive man peering over your shoulder, watching your every move. 

What you don’t know is that Mark knows you’re doing this, or at least assuming you are, which is enough, and it’s making him progressively spiral and further lose his mind. He is overthinking every possible outcome. What if you’re talking about him? What if you don’t actually like how he is in bed and you tell his friend and now his entire friend group thinks he’s bad at sex? What if you say you don’t think he’s funny? What if you send Jaemin nudes? What if you send Jaemin nudes that he will never get? Mark doesn’t think he can handle that, and the room starts spinning again. 

What if Jaemin does ask you out, and what if you say yes? The yes feels like a guarantee to Mark. Not for nothing, but Jaemin is a super good looking guy. He’s super sweet and exactly what you would describe as your type, so there is nothing stopping you from saying yes. What happens next? Will you be Jaemin’s girlfriend? Will he have to stop sleeping with you and jacking off to your nudes on the nights he doesn’t see you? Will you even still consider him your friend after everything you two have done? Is he going to lose you forever to a man who can’t tell if two people are dating or cousins?

---

You’d been texting Jaemin all weekend, getting to know each other, and as you walk up to campus on Monday morning, you’re honestly disappointed that he hasn’t alluded to any plan to see you or take you out on a date. As you walk towards your first class, a boy with pink hair suddenly pops up in front of you.

“Hi, beautiful,” he smiles.

“Hi, Jaemin” you respond, surprised.

“How was your weekend?” he asks, now apparently accompanying you on your walk to class. You find yourself feeling so grateful this is not the class you have with Mark because you aren’t mentally prepared for that drama right now. It is way too early for that.

“It was great. I actually met this really funny guy. He was about yay high,” you say gesturing and putting your hand at his height, “kind of crazy hair and eyes… oh! and says fucko a lot.”

“Oh wow,” he says laughing, “That sounds like a super interesting and hot guy that you should seriously consider asking to marry you. Truly sounds like a keeper,” he kids.

“I don't know that I'm thinking about marriage right now,” you say, playfully rolling your eyes.

“Boo!” he jeers, before asking, “Well if you aren’t thinking about marriage, could I interest you in thinking about a date?”

Your brain shuts down.

“YES!” you say a little too quickly, “Uh yes, yeah. For sureeee, dude. Definitely. That sounds great! I’m so down-” you ramble

“Say yes one more time, and I'll be convinced,” he jokes

“I could change my answer to no,” you warn.

“Fine, fine, fine-” he concedes as you pull up outside your classroom, “I’ll text you the details, yeah?”

“Yeah, sounds good,” you smile.

“Perfect,” he smiles back, leaning in to give you a kiss on the cheek.

Internal screaming ensues

Safe to say that your heart is racing for the rest of the day, and you might as well not have gone to class because you were not mentally present and learned nothing. The only thought in your mind is Jaemin, Jaemin, Jaemin, Jaemin, Jaemin-

“Y/N!!!”

Your thoughts are interrupted as you turn around to see Mark jogging up to you.

“Hey, baby,” he says, kissing you.

“Hi,” you reply softly, a little worried that someone (Jaemin) might be around but melting into his arms anyway.

“How were your classes? Ready to go to the library?”

In the midst of the Jaemin flash mob going on in your head, you had completely forgotten about your usual study date with Mark on Mondays. How were you supposed to act normal when you were patiently waiting for whatever details Jaemin was going to send you related to your date?

Mark could sense something was off with you, so he said, “Let’s call off studying for the day and take a drive. What do you think?”

“Sure, sounds fun!” you said thankful to hopefully have more of a distraction than your usual table at the library would give you. You had no clue where he was taking you until you wound up at the beach.

“Hello? What are we doing here?” you laugh.

“Well clearly you’re feeling overwhelmed about something, so I figured a walk on the beach would help since it always does,” he takes your hands into his, looking down shyly. Mark’s behavior is throwing you off, and it feels like it’s coming out of nowhere. It all feels so intimate, making your heart do cartwheels. He knows something’s wrong, so he took you to your favorite place to try to help. You nearly melt.

“Awwwww, Markieeeeee! You love me, how cute,” you softly pinch his cheek, trying to play it off. Instead of joking back, however, he slides his hand to the back of his neck with a little smile and deflects, “Let’s go get you something to eat before we take a walk, and maybe… if you want, you can talk it out, o-only if you want though.”

Talking it out isn’t really an option for you, seeing as your inner turmoil is coming from potentially being in love with Mark and definitely having a crush on Jaemin. You do, however, feel stress-free spending time with one of your best friends, just listening to the sounds of the ocean and giggling at whatever dumb jokes Mark makes. The familiar feeling comes creeping over you again, as you fall back into comfortable silence alongside Mark.

You are definitely a little bit in love with Mark, and there’s really no doubt now. You’ve been in denial for a very long time because… it’s Mark. He is probably your best friend in the whole wide world, and you refuse to be one of the many people that just fell in love despite him being very clear about his disinterest in relationships. It’s also not something you’re proud of. You were supposed to be totally cool and distant, and it’s entirely too late now. Both of you may have been wrong when you thought it would be simple transitioning from being best friends with someone to having sex with them without some sort of romantic feelings developing.

Even though you know Mark will never want anything other than something casual with you, seeing him in the sunset, smiling and laughing, makes your heart yearn for him even more. You think about how easy it all is and how right it feels. It's him. It just sucks that you are not the one for him... that you aren’t enough. Not enough to get him to want to commit, at least, because otherwise, you wouldn’t be in this predicament. 

The sound of your phone buzzing throws you out of your depressive spiral, the screen lighting up with texts from the man you’ve wanted to hear from all day (and the only man who might be able to help you get over Mark).

jaemin: hi beautiful how was your day?

jaemin: are you free tomorrow night?

You smile a little at your phone, and Mark takes notice. He does his best to not look suspicious as he peeks over at your phone screen to see what Jaemin texted you, and his heart sinks.

“Who's that?” he asks, defeated.

“Oh, it’s just Jaemin,” you say, looking at your phone, unaware of the frown Mark is now wearing.

“What does he want?”

You look up and see Mark clearly not doing so well, and you begin feeling defensive and ready to remind him that he’s the one that doesn’t want to commit.

“He asked me out on a date earlier and texted me just now to see when I’m free,” you reply, waiting for whatever angry or annoyed response you’re about to get.

“Oh…”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, oh…” the boy looks down, “Did you want me to say something else?”

“No...” Yes! I want you to ask me not to go! you think. I want you to tell me you’re in love with me too and that you will never want anyone but me and that no one else could possibly be me. I want you to tell me that you want me just as much as I want you!

The two of you continue your walk in the sand after you let Jaemin know that you are indeed free. There is far less laughter, and there is no longer a carefree feeling. Mark drops you off at home, and you feel a bit sad over the shift that’s happening with Mark but hopeful and excited about your date with Jaemin.

---

Jaemin does not tell you what you two are doing on the date, so you have absolutely no idea what to wear. You decide to go for something casual enough that you wouldn’t feel too overdressed if you wound up at the movie theater but not so underdressed that you’d feel uncomfortable at a higher end restaurant. At least that’s how your best friend and roommate Felix tells you to dress. He lends a helping hand by telling you if you look absolutely horrible or like you’re trying too hard. It may seem like it’s harsh, but he is tired of watching you cry over Mark on a weekly basis.

Being your roommate and best friend means that he hears about every fight with Mark and every girl you see Mark with. He sometimes even hears your fights if they happen in your shared apartment. He wants this to go well as much as you do, for your sake. You deserve someone sweet and caring who is serious about you, and from what Felix has heard so far, Jaemin seems like he might be all of those things. This sentiment is reinforced when Jaemin picks you up.

Jaemin shows up to pick you up, but he picks you up. He doesn’t just text you that he’s outside. This man actually walks up to your door with flowers, and you are completely shocked. He's dressed in a button down shirt and some black pants, so you definitely feel comfortable with your choice of outfit.

“Wow, your place is really nice. It definitely feels like you,” he says, taking time to look at all the pictures of you and your friends, while you put the flowers in a vase. Then, he sees a picture of you with Mark.

“How long have you been friends with Mark?”

Taken aback by his question, you nearly drop the vase.

“Um- a few years. We met while both our families were on vacation, so we had a long distance friendship for a while before we decided to go to the same university,” you say, finally putting the vase down with the flowers arranged nicely. 

“Well that’s lucky. I'm glad you did because now I get the pleasure of getting to know you,” he says, grinning as he walks back up to you. 

Your cheeks warm, “H-how long have you been friends with Mark?”

“Oh, since childhood, like basically my entire life-“ he laughs, “I was always closer with his cousin Haechan since we’re in the same year, but Mark was always around as well. It’s actually super lucky that we met because I actually wasn’t going to go to the game night at all, but when I heard Mark was going, I knew I could get him to help me with the homework.”

“Oh wow, so we only met so that you could cheat on your homework?” you fake pout. 

“Nooooo! Don’t say it like that! We met because fate wanted us to meet,” he smiles dreamily.

“Whatever you say, Jaemin,”  your cheeks warm as you both make your way out the door to his car. 

He opens up the door for you like a true gentleman and slides over to the driver's side. 

“Do you have any idea where we’re going?”

“I do not!”

“Okay, perfect!” he responds, as he speeds off. 

You chat a bit on the drive, just getting to know each other more. You learn that he’s obsessed with skin care and coffee, and also, that he hates artificial strawberry flavoring. He tells you about his cats and how in love with them he is and how much he loves his family. The ride to your unknown destination is basically never silent and filled with lots of teasing and giggles. 

Finally, you arrive at your destination, and you look up to see you’re at the beach, once again. 

“I remember you mentioning in one of the messages that the beach is really relaxing and a safe space for you, so I thought it would be a good idea for a first date to quell any nervousness” he says, looking unsure of whether you are happy with his choice or not.

“Jaemin… this is so sweet. This is a great idea, thank you-” you hug him and give him a kiss on the cheek. He blushes lightly and leads you on your way. 

Jaemin planned for you two to have dinner at this small restaurant with a perfect view of the sunset. The meal was amazing, and the company you had was even better. Dinner was just an extension of the conversation you were having on the drive over, and after dinner, you then walked around the pier and decided it might be nicer to walk along the beach to avoid the crowds and have a more intimate and private date. 

Jaemin made you feel so secure, and he made you feel so heard and validated. You never ran out of things to talk about. This dynamic isn’t something you’ve experienced before, and it’s a refreshing change of pace. In fact, it’s such a change of pace that it’s kind of making you…

Is basic affection and respect making you horny?

You are suddenly hyper aware of your body and its proximity to Jaemin’s body. Your hands keep drifting closer to each other as you walk alongside each other, lightly touching but never making that connection. Your eyes move to his lips as he talks, and you can’t believe how gorgeous his smile is. He probably has the softest looking lips you’ve ever seen on a man. He must use a lot of lip balm, you think. Men usually don’t have such moisturized lips. Then, you realize that the lips you’re looking at are no longer moving and neither is the body they’re attached to. 

“Can I interest you in anything?” Jaemin asks smugly once you finally look up at his eyes.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry I can't believe I zoned out like that,” you reply, mortified.

“I’ll forgive you if you tell me what you were thinking about,” he smirks.

“I was thinking about how soft your lips must be,” you say matter-of-factly.

Jaemin’s facade crumbles a bit as he wasn’t expecting you to be so direct, and he looks down at your lips before looking back up into your eyes.

“Would you like to find out?” he asks and you immediately smash your lips against his. He has no idea where to put his hands. All he knows is he wants them all over you before finally landing on keeping them on your face. You finally part for air, and Jaemin has a hungry look in his eyes. 

“So my place or yours?” you say, chest heaving as you catch your breath.

“Definitely yours.”

Thank God Felix decided to give you the apartment.

You tumble into your little apartment with Jaemin, hands grasping at each other, desperately needing to feel each other. One by one, articles of clothing are getting strewn about on your path to the bedroom before you finally land at your final destination, and the two of you are basically naked. He lays you back in bed and leaves kisses as he makes his way down to where you need him most. You haven’t really had sex with anyone but Mark for a while, so having a new set of hands and lips on you is making you more sensitive than you thought you’d be. You shiver at every light touch and Jaemin notices. 

“What’s wrong baby? Been a while?” he smirks. You decide to ignore him and instead say, “Please-”

“Please what, sweetie? I need words.”

“Please touch me-”

“Oh, don’t worry, darling. I will- I’ve been wanting to taste you since the moment I laid eyes on you.”

He finally makes it down to where you need him, and he licks a stripe over your underwear, groaning.

“Fuck, you smell and taste so good, and I haven’t even gotten the real thing yet,” he says, more to himself than anything.

He tears off your underwear, needing to get to the real thing immediately and starts messily licking and sucking at your core. Mark never really goes down on you as you usually just skip to the main event, so, it has definitely been a while since you had this. You can’t stop all the noises escaping you, and they only make Jaemin even more feral. He is obsessed with hearing you, and he thinks he could honestly die like this and feel completely content. You taste that good. He swears he’s never had pussy this tasty, and he’s officially whipped without even being inside you yet. 

He doesn’t even have a strategy as he eats you out- he’s more just being selfish. He just wants to get as much of your taste as he possibly can, and if you happen to cum in the process, then that’s a win in his book. His unpredictability in the way he licks and sucks and moans against your cunt is making you quickly approach your high, and the second you mention any word of being close, Jaemin proceeds to tongue fuck you while his nose rubs against your clit. The combination immediately tips you over as you chant his name. Even after you start to come down from your high, he's desperate to keep going down on you, and you have to pull his hair to get his attention. When you do pull his head up, the look in his eyes is unlike anything you’ve ever seen. He looks starved and desperate to taste more, pupils dilated, his mouth slightly open as he’s panting, waiting for the second your hand gives so he can go back to the task at hand.

“I need you inside me, baby," you say slowly. Jaemin almost throws a fit but decides there’ll be more time to eat you out later. He peels off his boxer briefs, and his member slaps up against his stomach. You’re shocked to say the least. You didn’t expect him to be so… big. He was definitely bigger than Mark. I should not be thinking about Mark right now. But it’s true! Not that Mark’s small, but he’s definitely not this big. You’re practically drooling watching him stroke it.

“You can have a taste later,” he smirks, reading your mind, “I need to feel that delicious pussy suck me in.”

He rubs the tip up and down your slit, groaning, coating it with every drop of wetness he can get. He thinks he could probably get off on just rubbing up against you with how wet you are. 

“Are you ready for me, baby?”

You can only nod in response, since you’re sure you’ll start whining if you open your mouth.

He thrusts in just a little bit, and your body is already overwhelmed in the best way. Your body has to be at peak sensitivity right now because the way his cock feels entering your tight hole is otherworldly, and you’ve barely begun. When he finally fills you completely, his face can’t help but show how amazing you feel. “Fuck,” he gasps, his eyes shut, mouth open, and eyebrows knit. He might’ve been joking when he said you should propose to him, but he feels 100% serious that he would marry you right now. 

“God, please move,” you moan, barely able to keep it together.

“Whatever you need, baby.”

As he starts to move, you see stars. Your body is completely overwhelmed, and you're grasping at the sheets, trying to ground yourself. You wrap your legs around him desperate to feel all of him all over you, and he gets the hint, leaning down to kiss you while continuing to plow into you. He starts kissing your neck and groaning in your ear and saying the dirtiest things. 

“Fuck, baby. You’re so fucking tight, and you’re taking me so well,” he says, continuing at a brutal pace, “You’re being so loud, too- I bet the neighbors can hear how loud you are. I bet you love that you’re putting on a show for them- probably want them to watch, huh?” he feels you clench and he slows down, lifting himself back up to be able to see your face.

“Oh- you like being watched, huh, baby?”

You shake your head, your face getting hot knowing how turned on you were by the thought of someone seeing how good Jaemin is fucking you. 

“No? Are you sure because that’s not what that slutty pussy is saying, is it? I think you love being watched, and you’d let me take you in front of all my friends, huh? Johnny and Jaehyun wanted a piece of you- maybe I’d let them watch.” You clench again, unable to keep yourself from babbling and moaning.You’re almost at the edge as Jaemin keeps ramming into you at the same pace, hitting the perfect spot everytime.

“Fuck, baby- you’re squeezing me so fucking tight- just a little slut wanting to get passed around by my group of friends, aren’t you?” he says as he wraps his hand around your throat, “You wanna get fucked over and over, baby? That it? You aren’t satisfied with one dick?” 

“Daddy, please,” you whine, feeling yourself nearly over the edge. He leans back down to kiss you, hard. The intimacy of the close proximity, the dirty talk, the new angle he’s hitting inside of you. It’s all getting you closer and closer to your high. Then, he goes and whispers in your ear.

“Just a desperate, needy, little slut-” nibbling on your ear. This light stimulation is enough to send you over the edge, as you cum the hardest you have in a while, leaving scratches all over Jaemin and practically screaming his name. Jaemin is rapidly approaching his orgasm as your pussy tries to milk his cock for all it’s worth.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum, baby- where do you want it?” he says, getting ready to pull out. You wrap your legs around him tighter and say, “Inside.” 

“Fuck- oh my god. Shit- fuck, oh my god,” he says, releasing inside you, unable to stop himself as he continues to pound his cum deeper into your pussy. Finally, when the overstimulation is too much to bear, he pulls out, watching his cum trickle out of your hole in awe. He cleans you up before lying alongside you and wrapping his arms around you. 

“I promise I don’t usually do this on first dates,” he says, kissing you on the cheek.

“Don’t worry- I won’t slut shame you,” you joke.

“I can be a slut,” he admits, “But this is not that. I really had a good time with you today, fully clothed, and I'd like to see you again- if that’s okay with you.

Wow. He fucked you, and he still wants to see you again. In public. On a date. With the intent of something serious developing between you two…

“I would actually love that,” you smile.

---

It's now been over a month with Jaemin, seeing him nearly every day. You always have a good time, and he always eats you out at the end of the date. He's so into you, and it’s a really refreshing change of pace. (But that hasn’t stopped you from seeing Mark on the days that you aren’t with Jaemin). 

You aren’t exclusively dating Jaemin yet, but he has made it abundantly clear that he is okay with taking things slow, per your request. He’s so sweet- he even (re)introduces you to his friend group. 

“This is Chenle and Jisung, they're the babies,” Jaemin says as the boys shyly wave. “Then there’s Mark and Haechan, who you already know.” Mark gives you a tight lipped smile. “There’s also Renjun- he couldn’t be at game night because he had an art assignment to do.”

“Nice to meet you, Renjun,” you say, and Renjun just smiles in return. 

“Then, there’s one million guys with J names- don’t ask me why we all have J names but we do,” he jokes, and it makes you giggle a little bit which Mark notices. Mark actually notices everything. How Jaemin has his arm around you like it’s where it belongs. How you’re looking at him with stars in your eyes. How he is introducing you to his group of friends like you’re his girlfriend, which you definitely aren’t because he was deep inside you 2 nights ago, making you beg for his cum. 

“There’s Johnny who you met,” Jaemin starts as Johnny pulls you in for a hug and whispers just loud enough for Jaemin to hear, “There’s still time to leave him.” 

You giggle as Jaemin pulls you away and glares at Johnny. 

“Hey! This is not why I’m doing these introductions… This is Jaehyun,” he says, turning back to you, “He was at the party, but I don’t think you two spoke.”

“No, we did not, and that was a big mistake on my part,” Jaehyun says, going in for a shorter hug than Johnny. When he pulls away, he keeps his hands on your waist.

“Nice to meet you officially, gorgeous. I second what Johnny said- it’s never too late to pick the better Jae.”

You are now officially flustered. Did Jaemin tell them about the comment he made the first night you slept together? (and several nights after that) 

You look around the group and a few of them are looking at you like they’d also like a taste… except for Mark who is glaring at haechan for staring.

“Yah! Stop it! I didn't bring them here for you guys to all stare and latch on. They’re here so that you all can meet the person I'm going to marry,” he jokes. Mark chokes. Why did Jaemin have to say that while he was drinking water? Now all of the attention is on Mark, everyone trying to figure out what happened. Finally, Mark is able to properly breathe again and Jaemin says, “Okay, well, moving on. I saved the best for last. This is my best friend Jeno!" 

The boy smiles big and gives you a hug, just like the other J names (minus the suggestive comment) and says he’s happy to finally meet you. The boys go on having independent conversations in small clusters, and you stick by Jaemin’s side listening to his conversation with Johnny and Jaehyun, that is, until you feel like someone is trying to make your head explode with their stare. You turn and look over to see none other than Mark who is not giving any attention to what his cousin has to say. He is instead trying to make not your head but Jaemin’s head explode. He thinks that if he hopes and prays enough, Jaemin’s head will just roll right off his body.

“I’m gonna go catch up with Mark,” you say, and the boys let you go but not without watching you leave. Jaemin slaps both Johnny and Jaehyun and says, “Hey! Stop it! You’re gonna scare them away!”

“Listen, you might have called dibs, but you aren’t married yet,” Jaehyun says.

“I have to agree,” Johnny adds.

“Guys, this isn’t funny anymore- don't even look at them!” They both immediately turn to look at you and Jaemin sighs, exasperated.

“Hey Mark,” you say, interrupting Haechan’s rant about god knows what, “Can I talk to you about that thing?” You grab Mark’s arm and walk out of earshot before saying:

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

“What are you talking about?” Mark asks, knowing all too well what you’re talking about.

“Mark don’t play dumb- you’re looking at Jaemin like you want to kill him!”

“Am I not allowed to look at people?” he says, nonchalantly.

“Not when you’re looking at them like you want to kill them!” you whisper-yell.

“It’s just funny to me that he’s introducing you to everyone as if I wasn’t in your guts basically any day you weren’t with him.”

“Shhhhhhut the fuck up,” you hiss, looking back to make sure no one heard you two. “We aren’t official yet, but I like him, Mark- and you’re going to have to be okay with that.”

“Dude, he’s corny like- does he even know how to fuck you right?” he says in a cocky tone.

“You don’t want to know the answer to that, Mark, stop doing this.”

“What I can’t ask about your sex life with one of my friends?”

“No, actually. You can’t. Because you’re just going to start a fight, and look we’ve been on a few dates now. Talks are getting more serious and him introducing me to his friends is serious,” you respond.

“Jaemin is never serious about anyone-” he deadpans.

Your heart kinda breaks at hearing that, but you won’t let Mark know that so you throw it back on him. 

“Okay well, that’s even more of a reason for you to not be concerned and to remember that it’s none of your business. If he’s not serious, then why is it a problem- how does it affect you?”

“It doesn’t- I’m just letting you know,” he mumbles.

“Well, I didn't ask for your input. You are going to have to act normal and not be a dickhead out of spite-”

“It’s not out of spite,” he interjects, “It’s-”

“It’s? It's what, Mark?” you ask, officially heated from this conversation.

“Hey, is everything ok over here?” Jaemin says, coming to your rescue and wrapping an arm around your waist.

“Yeah, we were done actually,” Mark says before walking away.

You nearly roll your eyes. You look back to Jaemin, smiling, and wrap your arms around his neck. You stay like that, talking about god knows what while Mark glares from afar.

---

You've been spending a lot of your days waking up in Mark’s bed and then going to sleep in Jaemin’s. All this juggling has you feeling all sorts of things, but also, a pro is you have never been fucked so good and consistently. It would almost be worth it if it weren’t for all of the emotional turmoil and distress you’re feeling. Jaemin is so incredibly sweet and he fucks you so good, but the second you get a text from Mark, you’re down bad all over again. 

For example:

1:27pm

jaemin: are you free tonight, beautiful?

1:27pm 

markie: babyyyyy

markie: you’re coming over tonight right?

No! Enough is enough. You decide it’s time that you fully give yourself to Jaemin. If you’re still sleeping with Mark, there’s no way you’ll ever be fully focusing on Jaemin. 

you: we need to talk

Mark's heart drops to his ass. This can’t be happening. He knows exactly what you’re going to say, and he actually thinks he will collapse this time. Maybe he does have feelings for you, but what’s he supposed to do about it now?

You show up at Mark's door, feeling like you’re going to puke out your heart. It’s just sex, right? You’re just friends who have sex, and so, this will be nothing. This will be a super easy conversation that will go so smoothly, and neither of you will feel any differently. You try to convince yourself all of that’s true and knock on the door. 

“Hey, baby,” he greets you, already looking like something’s up. 

“Hi Markie, how was your day?” you respond, walking in.

“Oh, it was pretty good. The same old shit. Renjun was nagging me about our group project, but it’ll be fine. What did you want to talk about?” he asks, cutting to the chase. You take a seat on the couch right next to him and try not to think about your knees touching and how you desperately want to touch more of him.

“So… as you know… I’ve been seeing Jaemin, and we’ve been on several dates…” Mark’s jaw clenches, “and things are going really well, honestly…” you smile genuinely. Jaemin has truly given you butterflies and is constantly making you feel like you’re the most gorgeous person he’s ever met. You have never ending conversations, and you truly have insane sexual chemistry. He's just not…

“Mark… we have to stop sleeping together. We always said if one of us needed to end it, we would- and I really like Jaemin, and I don't really want to be sleeping with anyone else while he’s trying to start a relationship with me-” you ramble, looking at the ground on that last part. “Is that okay?”

“Oh yeah- of course that’s okay! You know I can always get sex somewhere else, Y/N. It’s not a big deal,” he comments.

Well, that stings.

“Oh- okay. Great! Well… are we still friends?”

“Yeah, of course we’re still friends,” he smiles.

---

THAT WAS A LIE 

It has been two weeks since your talk with Mark, he hasn’t so much as looked at you. He hasn’t been around his group of friends, and he’s been ignoring your texts. The only time you see him is at school with his arm around random girls or one time, at a party walking up to his room with- you’ll never guess- a random girl. You try not to let it bother you, but you’re failing miserably. You’re currently at a party glaring at him with a girl sitting on his lap when Jaemin comes up. Jaemin who you have been seeing for two months and who you still haven’t let be your boyfriend.

“Hi, baby,” Jaemin says, wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his head on your shoulder. You turn around and see he’s a little pink. He's definitely drunk. 

“Jaemin- honey, how much have you had to drink?”

“Like- literally nothing? I had like 4 shots of vodka,” he says, holding up 2 fingers. “Oh! And I only had a few hits off Johnny's bong,” He smiles. He's so cute. You can’t believe how cute this grown man can be. 

“Okay, maybe we should go home- how does that sound baby?” you say in your sweetest voice because you know the cuteness overload will get him to listen to you.

“Aw- I can’t say no to youuuuu,” he smiles, booping your nose.

You walk him through the crowd as he has both arms wrapped around your shoulders so as to not lose you. He decides he isn’t ready to leave just yet and pulls you in the direction of dancing bodies. 

“Jaeminnnnnn-”

“Come on, baby, just one dance? Please?” he pouts. You may know his weaknesses, but he knows yours too. 

“Fineeeeee,” you sigh. “Just one,” you say, holding a finger up to let him know you’re serious.

Mark sees you two dancing and fights every urge to not get up and steal you away from Jaemin. He hates how happy you look and how close Jaemin is to you. He hates knowing that you’ll be in his bed tonight or maybe he’ll be in yours, but either way you’ll definitely be with Jaemin and not with him. He wishes once again that he would’ve never taken you to that stupid game night. He thinks about how he lost his chance as he watches you full of joy with a man who is giving you everything you’ve ever asked for.

You luckily were able to get Jaemin home safely and stayed the night at his place to make sure he was taken care of. You wake up to the smell of him making breakfast, and you walk into the kitchen absolutely gobsmacked at how normal and not hungover he seems. 

“I don’t understand how you just never suffer the consequences of your actions.”

“Someone up there really wants me to make you breakfast without being hungover- I don’t know what to say,” he laughs before turning to kiss you on the forehead. “How’d you sleep, gorgeous?" 

Everything is so domestic with him. It just works. So why does it feel like something’s wrong? All of a sudden you’re hit with so much emotion, and you start crying in Jaemin’s kitchen. 

“Whoa, are you okay? What's wrong? What did I say?” he asks, concerned, pulling you in for a hug.

You start crying harder because it’s not Jaemin’s fault, and it could never be Jaemin’s fault. All this time, you’ve been repressing your emotions, and this is how they boil over. Over a forehead kiss from the sweetest, hottest, best man because you know you can never truly belong to him. 

“It's Mark, isn’t it?”

“Wha- huh?” you look up and Jaemin isn’t mad or angry, but he gives you a look of compassion and understanding.

“I mean, it is Mark, right- like it’s not Johnny or Jaehyun or something? I’d be pissed if it was either of them,” he shakes his head, keeping his arms around you.

“Jaemin, I'm so sorry. I really do like you- I just- I'm a mess, and I thought I was over Mark and being with you made me feel like I could get over Mark, but it wasn’t fair to you- and it didn’t even help-” you cry a few more tears into his chest before looking back up at him, “How did you know?”

“If I’m being honest… I knew from the day I met you. That’s why I had to double check you two weren’t dating. You looked at each other with stars in your eyes. I'm definitely interested in you, but it was clear to me that something was going on between you two, and that I, more than likely, wouldn't be able to tie you down.”

“I’m sorry, Jaemin. I’m so sorry. I mean, I know I have feelings for Mark but I doubt he feels that way about me-”

“Oh. He definitely does. He has not been able to stop staring at me like he wants to rip my head off in class. He’s definitely jealous,” he laughs

“Yeah, but jealousy doesn’t need to involve feelings,” you retort.

“Trust me, it does. I've known Mark for a while, and he has never been so upset or jealous over someone. And he has never targeted that jealousy at me. Not to be crass, but… we’ve sort of shared before.”

Your jaw drops. “WHAT? What do you mean shared??”

“Why? Are you interested?” he smirks. 

“Jaemin,” you deadpan (though you definitely are interested, but that’s not the priority right now). 

“I mean that we have actually shared… you know, been in the same bed? Tunnel buddies? Crossing streams? But we’ve also found out that we slept with the same people and sort of… compared notes once we realized.”

“Ugh, Jaemin, ew! Why would you do that?”

“Listen, it was just out of curiosity! In my defense, I am not typically interested in relationships and usually just sleep around. And also to be fair, we only compared like twice, okay?? But regardless, we have shared and also slept with the same people, and he has never had an issue with me going for anyone he’s ever slept with.”

“Okay…” you respond, skeptical.

“Okay. So that means you’re special, duh” he rolls his eyes.

“Jaemin, I just really don’t think that Mark Lee likes me the way you think he does.”

“I don’t think he likes you. I know that he loves you, but I think I know a way to help you out and prove it,” he says with a mischievous smile.

“What are you going to do?”

---

Another day, another party. Mark shows up with Haechan and looks around the room, not really interested in seeing anyone but you. He's really hoping you’re not near Jaemin right now- but well, there’s Jaemin, surrounded by their group of friends, and he looks awfully smug. 

“Dude, I can’t believe you’ve been playing them this whole time! It looked so real,” Jisung looks incredulous. 

“Wait, but do you think I have a chance? What was it like?” Jaehyun asked, desperate to know more.

Jaemin sees Mark come up and says, “They tasted so good,” provoking the already annoyed older man. “No wonder you kept Y/N around for so long,” he says, now making direct eye contact with Mark, “but they just never. stop. yapping. Like sometimes, I just want to stick my dick in their mouth to get them to shut up.” 

Jeno knows that these aren’t Jaemin’s real feelings at all and is very confused as to why Jaemin would say these things in front of his friends. He’s ready to stand up for you when he sees the look on Mark’s face and suddenly understands what’s going on.

Mark is fuming. He can’t believe his ears. This is the guy you chose over him? This is the guy that’s going to sleep in your bed every night? He’s fighting every urge to rip Jaemin’s head off until Jaemin makes a pointed comment:

“That’s all Y/N’s good for. Am I right, Mark?”

Mark is not in control of his body when he swings at Jaemin’s face, hitting him square on the nose. Haechan and Jeno have to physically pull Mark away as he continues to try to swing at him.

“What the fuck is your problem?!” Jaemin screams.

“Y/N’s too good for you-” he hisses, thrashing against Haechan and Jeno.

“Oh yeah? And what are you going to do about it?”

“Fucking- let go of me!” he pushes Jeno and Haechan off and storms off.

There is only one thing he can focus on right now: finding you. He sees you off in another corner of the frat playing beer pong with Johnny by your side and fights the urge to punch another one of his friends for being within 2 feet of you.

“I need to talk to you-” he grabs your arm, dragging you away from the game.

“Wait, I was playinggg,” you whine.

“Don’t care.”

“Where are we going?” you ask, now extremely confused.

You finally make it to one of the bedrooms, looking around at the decor, this must be Haechan’s room if the Michael Jackson merch is telling you anything.

“I'm with Jaemin,” you say indignantly as a reminder to Mark, knowing full well you aren't with Jaemin. His plan must have worked if Mark is in such a fuss over needing to talk to you.

“He’s a bitch, and you need to break it off with him.”

“Um… are you going to elaborate? You being pissed that I’m not fucking you anymore is not a good enough reason to end things with Jaemin.”

“He doesn’t give a shit about you, Y/N!” he responds, frustrated that you aren’t listening.

“Oh and you do? You haven’t even talked to me since I ended things with you, Mark!”

This is it. He’s going to say it, and it is in fact even scarier than he could have ever imagined.

“Yes, actually, I do- I’m in love with you and I give every shit about you and you’re the only person or thing in the world that I actually give a shit about!” he almost screams.

He sits down on the bed, unable to deal with the silence as you stand there shocked. You heavily doubted but thought maybe he harboured some romantic feelings for you, similar to a crush. Love? That is not what you were prepared for.

“I’m sorry he just- he talked about you like you were a piece of meat… and- and he’s not good enough for you! And I know I'm not either but… please,” he says, not even knowing what he’s asking for, “Just- please. I’m sorry it took me so long and I know it doesn’t seem genuine because of everything that’s happened but-” He stands up and takes your hands in his.

“I promise that I have felt like this the whole time. Since meeting you on that stupid vacation, I have not been able to control how I feel about you, and when we started sleeping together- it was like I was in heaven. But I was scared of losing you. Jaemin coming into the picture scared my ass into taking action after realizing how close I was to actually losing you. I promise I love you even if you don’t love me… and even if you don’t love me, please don’t be with him because he-” you kiss him to end his little rant. 

Having his mouth against you again is better than anything you could’ve imagined. He’s hesitant at first, completely shocked at what’s happening, but immediately, he’s kissing you harder than he ever has. You can feel the desperation and every built up emotion he’s been holding back. Not even fireworks are enough to describe the atomic explosions going on inside you.

“Huh?” he says, completely dazed after you break apart, “Yo, what was that? I-uh, I thought you were with Jaemin.”

“I’m not, actually,” you smile awkwardly.

“Dude, wh- what do you mean?” he asks, completely disoriented.

“Jaemin and I aren't together, and he was convinced that you had real feelings for me but I didn't believe him, so-”

“So, he said something that would make me want to punch him in the face,” he sighs.

“You punched him in the face??” you stop, your eyes wide.

“He was asking for it, quite literally, if what you’re telling me is true.”

“Oh wow. I really owe him big time.”

“Ummm… I don’t think you owe him anything. In fact, maybe you just never perceive Jaemin ever again. Sound like a good plan? I sure think so,” he says, wrapping his arms around your waist.

“Ha ha, very funny.”

“So… does this mean you have feelings for me? Real feelings?”

“Yes, dummy!” you say, nudging his shoulder, “I thought that would’ve been clear to you- you’re the one that was always out of reach.”

“I know, I know. It was like I was trying to avoid my real feelings for you and ended up self sabotaging.”

“How about now?” you ask softly, “Are you still trying to avoid your feelings?”

“Are you joking? There is absolutely no way to deny it anymore- I just punched my friend! Oh my god, I just punched my friend,” Mark repeats, in shock at the realization of what just happened. 

“It’s fine, I'm sure he’ll forgive you. I'll put in a good word for you,” you joke.

“Actually, executive decision- starting now, you can never see any of my friends ever again, you’re too hot.”

“What? They’re literally my friends now!” you argue.

“I don’t care! They think you’re hot, and now after Jaemin’s little stunt, they know you taste good.”

“They know WHAT?”

“Let's not think about that right now. I'm going to make love to my baby without any interruptions,” he says, tugging your hips to be flush against his.

“Oh? Your baby huh? I don’t remember you asking me to be in a relationship,” you tease.

“Baby, beautiful, love of my life, will you please let me be your boyfriend?”

“I guess,” you sigh, pretending not to care before pushing him on the bed and straddling him. “This has been a long time coming, Markie. I can't believe you made me wait so long,” you say grinding down on him. “That's not very fair to me, huh?”

Mark is unable to think, feeling you rub against him for the first time in a long time. God, he’s missed you.

“Now tell me. Do you have a condom?” 

“Wait, why would I need a condom?” he sits up, confused, way too distracted by how good you feel against him. 

“Mark, I know you’ve been sleeping with other people,” you stop your maneuvering on his lap, anticipating an argument.

He whines, “No, baby, I haven't.”

He's tried to fuck other people, but he hasn’t been able to follow through with sleeping with anyone since you left. 

“I wasn’t able to stop thinking about you. There was no interest for me. I couldn’t fuck someone else even if I tried.”

“But- you had girls on your lap and you’d take girls upstairs?”

“That was like one time, and it was just to make you jealous” he sinks. “I never did anything with her. I couldn't. She wasn’t you…” he trails off, looking embarrassed. 

“Look at me, and tell me you didn’t sleep with anyone else.”

“I didn’t sleep with anyone else, my love. I couldn't. I only want you. I have always only wanted you. I love you.”

Finally.

You kiss him, and it’s the explosions all over again, but it’s even more emotion-filled this time. You were ready to experience what you always have: a passion filled desperate kiss. However, that isn’t the kiss you get. You can feel the love through the softness in the way he kisses you. He really wasn’t lying when he said he was going to make love to you. This lovestruck boy is going to make up for lost time. 

He gently takes you off his lap, making you stand up, so that he can get you completely naked before laying you down. He moves his lips down to your jaw, kissing down to your neck and shoulder. He removes your shirt and leaves your torso completely bare before continuing to kiss down your body. He’s on his knees when he takes your bottoms off and looks at you in awe.

“God, I’ve missed this.”

He spreads your legs and kitten licks at your slit, immediately groaning at the taste he has craved for weeks. You’re so wet and he’s barely started touching you. You whine, and he realizes that keeping you standing is probably not ideal for what he’s trying to do. He gently lays you down, kissing you softly once again before going back to where you need him most. He doesn’t lick lightly this time, and he immediately captures your clit in his mouth. He begins to eat you like a man starved, as if he’s in a desert, and you are the last glass of water. The man cannot get enough of you, messily making out with your cunt, groaning and making the dirtiest sounds. You can hear how wet you are from the squelching sounds he’s making and if it wasn’t for how insanely good it feels, you might feel embarrassed. Mark has never eaten you out like this- it’s something you didn’t even know was possible from him. He almost never went down on you before, but now it’s like he needs your pussy to survive.

Mark cannot get enough of you. He is so lost in your cunt that he doesn’t realize that you’re telling him you’re close. You start grinding against his face chasing your high, and he decides to help the process by harshly sucking on your clit. You throw your head back and swear you see stars because you’ve never cum so hard from head before. You have to pull on Mark’s hair to get his head away from your core, and when you do, his face is covered in your slick. The way he looks at you is completely animalistic and it takes everything in him to not go right back into eating you out.

“Mark, I need you, please,” you beg, as he moves his hands up and down your thighs, wanting to feel and caress all of you.

“Sweetheart, I have been thinking for weeks nonstop about how I needed to taste you again. You can give me one more orgasm, right? You’re gonna let me stretch you out on my fingers and tongue fuck that pretty pussy, right?”

You almost whine, but he’s never been so eager to go down on you. As much as you’ve missed his cock, this new side of Mark is turning you on so much. He sees the look on your face and knows you’re giving in, causing him to dive right back in. His digits slide into you with ease, slick from your first orgasm. Your walls are already clenching around his fingers, sensitive and still reeling from cumming so hard. It turns him on so much- he starts moaning into your pussy. Mark is so desperate to rip another orgasm out of you before finally getting to feel you around his cock.

“God, yes, just like that, Daddy,” you writhe underneath him, already close.

“Play with your tits for me, baby-”

You tweak your nipples, arching your back, but Mark presses his hand onto your lower abdomen, making the sensations even more overwhelming. Mark’s fingers curl perfectly against your g-spot and your whole body feels like it’s on fire. This orgasm feels like it’s radiating even more than the last one. He eats you through your high, not stopping until you’re pushing him away. 

“How was that?” he checks in, giving you a quick peck on the cheek. “Are you okay? Do you still want me inside you, baby?” “Yes, Mark, please- need to feel you,” you pout.

He immediately gets up and gets naked as fast as is physically possible.

“How do you want me?” you ask, still fuzzy from your two intense orgasms. He puts you in missionary, without answering, before lining himself up with your hole.

“I’m not going to last very long, sweetheart. Eating you out nearly made me cum untouched.” You almost moan at this admission. “Wanna look at you when I fill you up with my cum,” your boyfriend states. 

He thrusts in, filling you to the brim, and both of your mouths fall open into a gasp. The sensation is so overwhelming, you can hardly breathe. 

“Baby- please,” you beg, needing him to move. 

“Feels so fucking good, pretty,” he grunts.

He begins to slowly thrust in you and bends down to attach his lips to yours. Once your lips smash together, he begins to roughly and desperately ram his hips into yours as he chases your high. Mark keeps his lips on yours, swallowing all your moans. He slightly changes the angle and his tip begins to hit your sweet spot, already bringing you close to cumming again. Mark can tell from the way that you’re sucking him in that you’re going to cum with him, and he needs just one thing from you.

“Tell me you love me,” he pleads, eyebrows scrunched together in pleasure. He’s so close, and he needs these 3 words from you to tip him over the edge.

“I love you, Mark. I love you I love you I love you,” you moan, not stopping. I love yous flow out of your mouth in every breath and soon Mark is filling you up, the sensation ripping one last orgasm out of you.

Mark pulls out of you, not caring about the mess that would definitely be left on his cousin’s bed. The two of you lay there, panting messes. Mark feels like he’s dreaming, and he’s in disbelief that he has you back. Upon the realization, he immediately wraps his arms around you, burying his face in your neck and squeezing you.

“What are you doing?” you laugh. He responds but it’s muffled. “Mark, I can't hear a thing you’re saying.”

“I’m just so happy to have you back and so happy that I get to be your boyfriend,” he responds looking up at you, and would you look at that- he has stars in his eyes.

It's the first game night since you started dating Mark seriously. 

“Babe, do we have to go?” Mark groans, sitting on your bed. He’s looking at you through the mirror as you get ready for a return to the friend group. He has made it a point to walk you to every class since you became official, and he told you it was to make sure you know he’s proud to be your boyfriend. (But if you ask him, he did it so that none of his friends would be able to talk to you for more than 30 seconds.)

“Yes, of course we have to. Literally, everyone has been asking for us to go. We’ve missed 3 weeks already.”

“Yes, but everyone includes people who want to fuck you, and that’s not really people I want to be around,” he whines.

“Markie. They don’t all want to fuck me.”

-

“Thanks a lot, Jaemin. You could’ve let us know they were gonna end up together, so we could’ve had a shot before it happened,” Johnny groans.

“Listen, I would've, except I think that it’s way funnier to watch you thirst for Y/N from afar,” he laughs.

“Do you think Mark would be down to share one time for the one time?” Jaehyun asks.

“Listen… never say never, but if anyone is going to convince him first, it’s going to be me,” Jaemin winks before walking up to greet you and Mark.

“Hi, Y/Nie!” he says, giving you a big hug that lasts longer than Mark would like.

“Hi Jaemin,” you smile.

“I hope you know that everyone here wants to fuck you,” the pink-haired boy loudly whispers.

You slap him on the shoulder, “And whose fault is that?”

“Listen, I wasn’t going to lie about my personal experience at the Y/N establishment,” he says, hands up.

“Yeah, but you didn’t have to say all that. Now everyone knows how they taste,” Mark butts in, grumbling.

“Well listen, I have to keep you on your toes, Mark Lee. Now you know that if you slip up, Y/N has several guys waiting desperately to swoop in and save the day.”

“And now you know,” Jaemin says looking at you now, “if he ever fucks up, I can fuck you real good and make you forget all about it.”

“We’re going to go now,” Mark says, dragging you away. “I told you they all want to fuck you-” he groans.

“Okay, I didn’t think it would be this bad. Lucky for you, I’m ending up in your bed tonight and every night til you get sick of me.”

“Lucky for me, that’s never going to happen,” he says, giving you a wet sloppy kiss.

----------

a/n: lol it only took me a year to complete pt 2. sorry! since the first part was based on my real life it was hard to decide where part 2 should go. this was genuinely like a therapeutic exercise lol i wasn’t sure if i wanted the mc to end up with mark or jaemin because i wasn’t sure what made the most sense. i ended up choosing mark over jaemin because i thought that might be the best idea for what most people would want. plus i think creating a story where the person does change and does become the guy you deserve is very sweet and hopeful. while in real life i think the jaemin character makes more sense, i think mark being endgame is romantic. i also SUCK at writing smut i think i just don’t have the creativity for it- it was SO HARD however i did entertain the idea of writing a side bit where mark actually does allow jaemin/jaehyun/johnny a shot to sleep with y/n because i love 3some/4some/5somes hahahah but anyway thanks for reading this far i hope you have/are having a beautiful day!! <3