#if there are mistakes just know that i am also a mistake
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endearng · 2 days ago
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Doomed
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Pairing: Spencer Reid x single mom!reader Summary: If you and Spencer had a nickel every time someone teased you after witnessing your interactions, you'd have two nickels, which isn't much — but it's weird that it happened twice. WC: 4.4k Warnings: Mentions of abandonment and I think that's it. Let me know if I missed anything. A/N: HI!!! I'm so obsessed with them... in a normal amount of course. I'm thinking about writing casually for them, who knows... Also,,,, who am I if not a morcia truther….. I hope you enjoy it! Feedbacks are always appreciated <3 neighbor!au masterlist | main masterlist
You were doomed from the moment he bid you goodbye.
"So, who's he?" Victoria inquired, a sly smirk on her face and a bashful expression on yours.
"Who's who?" You asked, trying to feign nonchalance.
She groaned playfully, "You know what I mean."
"I'm afraid I don't." You winked, sitting on your couch again, between the two women. Sex and the City was playing on the TV across from the three of you.
"You're acting like us as freshmen when the seniors looked at us—" she retorted.
"I thought we didn't talk about that," Jude deadpanned.
"You're 'I don't know what you're talking about' me? I thought we were friends!" Victoria poked you in the rib.
"Ouch! He's just a friendly neighbor, that's it." You said, trying to cut the subject. Jude looked at you suspiciously. "White wine time."
From Spencer's apartment, he could hear the sound of chatter, joyful laughter and opening bottles for the rest of the night. He didn't know how to feel by your invitation, now that he had calmed down after looking you in the eye for a moment, technically, all by yourselves. He would definitely feel inappropriate at a kid's birthday where he barely knew the people who invited him, but he thought that Olivia's gesture was amazingly endearing. What could possibly be more childishly adorable than an infant trying to help and making a 'mistake'? And what could possibly be more devastatingly endearing than a mother taking advantage of said mistake to make it right?
Spencer studied the card for a moment. It fit the palm of his hand, tiny and delicate. It had a different address from yours and the time of the party, all of it lovely handwritten, just like the letters from calligraphy practice notebooks. It seemed like Olivia put a lot of effort in trying to perfect her handiwork. It read:
Hey, it's Oli!
I'm turning six and I want to celebrate it with you!
The contents of the slip of paper were adorned by dainty drawings related to birthdays: party hats, cake, gifts, some decoration and so on. It suddenly dawned on him that he was actually becoming closer to the people he always thought lived a perfect life. His mind had a tendency to wander and, for a fleeting moment, he thought about what it would be like to be part of that perfect life.
Olivia was a perfectionist child. He saw the expected behavior of the age in her manners, but the care with her work almost made him think someone else had done it for her. Something told him it wasn't the case, though.
Secured by two magnets, he placed Olivia's birthday party invitation on his fridge. You know, just so he wouldn't forget it — he tried to convince himself.
Everybody knew about his otherworldly memory, but he decided to forget it purposefully.
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"Good morning, good ghost. I didn't see you anymore." Olivia greeted as she saw Spencer in front of the elevator. You were just locking your door closed, hyping yourself up for the week ahead of you when you heard it and a shiver ran down your spine. This, whatever it was, was getting out of hand.
"Good morning, Miss Olivia!" He said, a sweet tone of voice. You melted. "It's true. It's been a while. I was here on the weekend, but it seemed like you had other plans." He stuck his hand out for her to shake. She did it in a heartbeat.
"I was with my grandma and grandpa. They took me to the movies and grandpa made me lasagna." She explained as you approached them, adjusting your bag and Olivia's backpack in each of your arms. "Did'ya get my birthday party invitation?"
"Yes, I did! Thank you for inviting me. But, you know, your mother probably needed the rest of them for the other guests." He said as the elevator opened. He gestured for you to enter it first, so you did it with a grateful nod.
"Sorry, mommy. I didn't mean it." Olivia looked at you briefly, ashamed that you would call her out.
"I know, baby, 's okay. Everyone has one now." You assured her with a light tone. Breathe. "Hi, Spencer. Good morning." You said as he joined you in the elevator.
He breathed out, "Good morning. Hi." He had a big smile on his face, standing right next to you, you both facing the door and Olivia in front of you. Internally, he felt like a puppy who had his owners’ undivided attention.
Olivia pressed the button to the lobby. You noticed a book in his hands. Courage. "So, what are you reading, Spencer?"
He gulped. Were you talking to him? It took him a moment to get a grip and realize that he hadn't answered you. Struggling to find the words and suddenly unable to remember what he was actually reading. "Me? I'm just re-reading one of Dostoievski's books. Notes from Underground."
"Dosto-what?" Olivia chipped in.
You looked at her, ready to tell her to not interrupt someone, but couldn't stop yourself from giggling. Spencer watched it fondly. "It's Dostoievski, baby. D'you remember that one book with the 'ugly' cover that mommy was reading the other day?" You asked her, air quoting the word 'ugly'. “It wasn’t ugly. It just wasn’t pink.” You explained it, looking at Spencer. He grinned.
"Yeah. You didn't read to me because it was work." She said, getting distracted with one of her braids.
"Are you a teacher?" He asked, intrigued.
"No. I actually work for a publishing company. Sometimes I have interesting content to revise." You said, a tinge of irony in your voice. He smiled at you, feeling comfortable enough to joke around him without the awkwardness of that first encounter.
The elevator door opened. Olivia jumped out. "I bet it's interesting," was the best he could come up with. Tongue tied.
“Yeah. It’s a good book.”
Like a fucking teenager, he watched as you left with your daughter. Your mixed laughter echoing in the lobby as Olivia spinned around while you carried the weight all by yourself.
He scolded himself for not remembering to offer you help.
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Two days later, a few states over, Spencer sat on a chair at the conference room of the precinct they were working with. The case was exhausting and he just wanted it to be over, but it wasn't that simple. He waited for Derek Morgan — he was his ride that night back to the hotel they were crashing on. He was in front of Derek as he and Penelope talked, her image on the computer screen. The man's nonchalant tone was a riddle for her to unsolve — everyone else was aware that there was definitely something between them (an unspoken dictionary worth of words), even if their interactions were deemed as jokes. Penelope, feeling very shy, tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and looked at her lap after a particular comment about her smile. As she did so, her eyes caught a glance of her watch. "Oh, shoot. I have to go," she murmured, relieved to have a way out of the exchange that had high chances of turning her into a nervous wreck. "I'm so sorry, handsome! Tomorrow is one of my friend's daughter's birthday."
A flash of disappointment crossed Derek's features. Not that she'd noticed. Instead of pressing her, he chose to say, "Need extra energy to keep up with the kids, babygirl?" Ah, there was it. The teasing tone. She was definitely imagining things.
"Not as much as I need to keep up with you, tiger," she replied with a wink, the dynamic between them quickly shifting back to the usual playful banter. Both of them wanted more than playful and far more than banter, but none of them had the courage to admit it, to be straightforward about it. Spencer understood it, really. Speaking made things too real. "But, seriously. I totally forgot to pick up her gift. Olivia loves reading, so I'll go to the mall. I'm glad I already bought it, so I won't get home late."
If he was a dog, Spencer's ears would have definitely perked up from how quickly he associated one thing to another. Could it be the same Olivia? Your Olivia? "Okay, mama. Be safe." Derek said.
"I will," she smiled as she hung up.
Idiots.
Maybe Derek was too serious about the "no profiling each other" rule they set.
"Let’s go, pretty boy," The dark-skinned agent stated. Spencer got up, grabbed his bag and made his way to the elevator with her.
As they chatted about nothing in particular, walking out of the precinct, he desperately wanted to ask him if she truly didn't see past Penelope's sudden shyness. It wasn't in his nature to do that, of course, but as Derek and Penelope were two of the most important people in his life, he wondered why wouldn't they be a thing by now, since they enjoyed themselves so much and were so open about their affections towards one another.
He was quickly ripped away from his thoughts when the man suddenly spoke up, “So, what's your deal lately, Reid? What's she like?"
The doctor choked on his own saliva, which made him cough like crazy. Derek laughed, but tried to help his panicked friend. "What was that, man?" he asked worriedly, once he saw Spencer had finally inhaled a gulp of air.
Face as red as a tomato, cough dying in his throat, "what was what?" Derek returned to his normal self once he noticed his friend was able to finally form a coherent sentence.
"You're gonna act dumb now that you almost died when I talked about her?" Derek questioned, teasing tone, "it was just a lucky guess, but I see you, Reid. You're daydreaming far too often for what's acceptable for the boy genius who's as focused as a laser beam."
Spencer looked straight ahead as they got to the exit. He should have cornered Derek first. "Why would you think it has anything to do with a 'her'?" He chuckled, nervous to be caught red-handed — even if he wasn't doing anything wrong.
Was it wrong to want? He felt like it was. All his life, really. Had no chance to want anything because either was a far too distant reality, person, happiness for him to grasp it or it was ripped away from him too soon, before he could even acknowledge what was happening inside him. That's why want was almost a foreign sensation for Spencer. He had been deprived of it for as long as he could remember.
"Because people get a little dumb when they're in love. At least, ordinary people do. Apparently, so do geniuses," he snickered, his mind also set on teasing Spencer.
Maybe it was dumb to reveal his secret, jaw dropping crush on his cute neighbor, but he wanted some sort of relief to that mess of tangled thoughts inside his head and the strange, to say the least, feelings brewing on his chest whenever he saw you. You barely knew each other. But he supposed it was yet another part of the want he wasn’t familiar with: it didn't need much and it took all consciousness out the door. It wasn't uncommon for him to feel like his heart was being ripped out of his chest whenever he was on the field, especially since he was often facing danger. The way the events were unfolding were scarily similar to his cases: he noticed you, made up theories based on your behavior and routine, and slowly, oh, so slowly, started to approach you. Not to put you away, but for more personal reasons.
What was different was the feeling in his heart, instead of the sensation of being squeezed painfully inside his ribcage, often leading to ragged breathing, now felt like it was being held delicately by a pair of caring, dainty hands. Either way, his heart was fighting in the frontline and relied on the other part to be calmed and saved. The least he could do was try to be careful, finally opting not saying anything to Derek.
"Just a lot on my mind lately," he chose to say, instead. Derek dropped the subject, too tired to press it further.
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Olivia's party had come to an end an hour ago. You got to see old friends and talked until they got every single ounce of information about your life lately and so did you about theirs. Your daughter had enjoyed her party greatly, and hugged every. single. person. who came to wish her happy birthday and thanked them for being there. She paid little attention to the gifts, too focused on spending time with her friends, playing with them until the sugar rush wore off — all of them had a massive candy intake that day. You didn't spend much time with her, but she promised you that she would unwrap her gifts the next morning with you, the most adorable toothless grin on her face.
Despite everything flowing accordingly, all day long, your stomach churned with anticipation. You wondered if Olivia's dad would show up, since the day she was born was, quote, the happiest of his life. His parents did, and when you looked at them anxiously, his mother shot you a neutral glance. Not a word from his end was its meaning. Your daughter never asked anything about him during the day, which made you even more jittery. You feared she would have a breakdown at any time, so you paid extra attention to her.
It never came.
You had missed the deadline of a book chapter that you had to revise, too caught up on trying to balance everything in your life, so your parents told you they'd stay with her so you could go home to work and take her in the morning. Normally, you wouldn't accept it, but your father had decided you were too tired to wake her to go home, so you complied. Right after the guests left, you did all the steps of her night routine, except for the bedtime story — she was that tired of all the running around in the backyard. You were sure she would sleep all night long.
Once she dozed off, you stood for a moment in her grand-bedroom (she had come up with that and it kind of stuck with you). Your parents had decorated it while you were still pregnant. She needs to feel at home, was what your mother said when you walked in on them assembling her crib. You almost cried, overwhelmed with joy. Your fiancé, then, had rolled up his sleeves to help out. Oh, the irony.
Her room was full of photographs that held many memories of her six years of life. You could never imagine that you could love this much, let alone dedicate yourself so entirely to someone like you did for her. Even though it was hard and you often didn't feel like you were enough to raise her on your own, Olivia was a wonderful child and her gestures and overall behavior assured you you were doing a good job. The reflection brought tears to your eyes. You drove home by yourself.
Currently, in your apartment, it felt a little too big without Olivia in there — too many books, too many chairs, too much space on your sofa, too many toys scattered around with nobody to play with them. You sighed, deciding on going to the kitchen to make you a cup of tea — you felt like your brain was hammering inside your skull and you still needed to spend time in front of a computer screen. Going back to your small office to wallow in self pity and second guess yourself even as you read whatever material it was, you heard a knock on the door.
You checked your watch. 9p.m. On a Saturday.
Weird.
Through the peephole, you saw someone you truly weren't expecting. "Spencer?" You asked as you opened the door, surprise filling your being. "I didn't think you'd come, I supposed you were at work. I mean, sometimes it feels like you barely have a routine, heh. But, um, thanks for dropping by." You said, a little unfiltered. Not even five seconds in his presence and you were already making a fool of yourself in front of him.
He held a small bouquet of flowers in one of his hands and a gift in the other. To a stranger's eye, it seemed like he had missed your birthday and was trying to apologize for it. You blushed at the thought. He shut his eyes, sorry crossing his features. "I know. I'm sorry I missed it, even though I really didn't want to. You were right, I was away on a case." You smiled, dismissing his apologies and soothing his worries once you did so.
"It's alright with me. She was totally expecting you, though. Kept asking where you were for the first hour. Then she got distracted with candy," you told him, "so she's the one you're gonna need to apologize to." You joked.
"T—that's why I'm here."
"I'm just not sure if Olivia is old enough to get flowers," you said, face serious. His eyes went wide and it took him a moment to understand, but once he looked at your serious expression cracking, his shoulders shook with laughter, with you. If you had more attention, you'd seen the moment his ears turned red.
Your laughter died down. A beat of silence. "These are actually for you." He revealed.
You were stunned. "Oh," you said, suddenly at a loss of words. "Thank you so much."
He gave you the flowers and you gracefully accepted. You were mesmerized by them; colors swimming in harmony before your eyes and the scent making you feel dizzy. Maybe not the scent, but the emotions you were feeling with the surprise. He went out of his way to get you those flowers — it's safe to say that it had been a while since you felt that way. "I—I have no words, Spencer. Really. Thank you so much," your voice choked.
You looked at each other for a brief moment. You tried to show how much you appreciated his gesture. You grinned, trying to get out of that haze, "Do you want to come in? Oli's with my parents, so you won't be able to apologize today," you quipped, making room for him to enter.
"Yeah, I'd love to."
"You can place the giftbox on the coffee table." He went inside, toeing off his shoes in the small space you had before the living room. Once he was there, he saw you enter the kitchen to find a vase. He could see you from where he stood. "Make yourself at home. Do you want some tea? I have Earl Gray."
Your voice was distant as he took in his surroundings. "Yeah, I'd like it." He murmured as he looked around. Your walls were a light gray, adorned with pictures of you and Olivia, some people he assumed were some of your friends. The wall behind the sofa was entirely covered by a big bookshelf that went from one end to the other, filled with books and souvenirs from basically everywhere. The dark wood of the furniture complemented the light walls in a cozy way, some toys and kids books scattered around the floor. The apartment smelled like fresh printed sheets of paper and earl gray tea. You had a few indoor plants that looked well taken care of. Spencer was admiring your degree from Stanford, which hung on the wall beside the TV, almost close to the door.
"One of my biggest achievements. Besides Olivia, of course," you approached him with his mug of tea. Turning to you, he noticed through his peripheral vision that you had placed the flowers inside a vase and in your coffee table.
"Thanks," he said.
"So... are you okay?"
The question caught him off guard. What?
You smiled a little. "You always look kinda tired when I see you," you said, not thinking about how your words might be interpreted. Your eyes widened, realizing it. "I mean, no! Sorry! You're still pretty, don't worry. It's just— I asked because you might be going through something. Forget I said anything about your looks."
He would definitely never forget.
Spencer laughed, flustered, eyes softly gazing at you while you rambled like a madman. "I'm fine, thanks for asking. Sometimes my job is a little demanding and I'm forced to see some things that usually people don't even think exist," he confessed.
You bit your lip. "I'm sorry."
"You don't need to be," he retorted, "I have a great team to work with."
"I'm glad to hear that. Sorry I brought it up, you probably don't want to talk about work right now." You said, sipping on your tea.
"Yeah, you're right, again," he chuckled. "How was Olivia's birthday?" He tried a change of subject.
"That was actually the reason I was moping when you got here," you said, trying to force a chuckle. "It was nice, I guess. I was just on edge all day trying to anticipate her emotions regarding her dad, but I guess they never came. At least, not today." You beckoned him to sit with you on the couch, now facing each other directly.
"May I ask why?" He asked, tentatively.
"Why what?"
More hesitance. "Why wasn't he there?"
"From what I know, he moved away." You said, tone unreadable.
He worried that he was overstepping and wasn't sure that he would like to hear more about it. He was scared to find out unpleasant news, such as you still had feelings for him. "I'm sorry." Was all he could muster.
"Don't be. I have a great team," you repeated his words from earlier and he smiled at you.
His brain and tongue didn't seem to be working together that night, he was so avid to know more. "Did you always have support?"
"My parents didn't like the idea of having a single mother when they first heard it. It hit me hard back then, but then I realized it was better to be alone than to stay in an unhappy relationship, especially since Olivia was already in the picture." You said, setting your own mug on the coffee table.
"What happened?" Stop it.
He couldn't help it, he was too curious. It was his first opportunity to truly know the novel sort of family that you had. Apparently, not so much.
"He was distant before leaving. Someone else, maybe?" You asked, rhetorically, a crease between your eyebrows. "I never found out, but I don't want or need to, either. His parents absolutely love Olivia and they were there today, 's all that matters."
"You’re a very strong person."
"I have to be," you said, softly. "You’re a very good listener."
A rush of courage running through his veins. Deciding on not taking the road of unsaid things, like his friends were earlier. Don’t dance around the subject, take the opportunity. Dare. "And you're just as pretty."
The world stopped. You looked at him in disbelief. It didn't last much. A knock on your door. Scratch that: someone banging on your door.
You pinched your eyebrows together. Spencer stood up, almost as if he was doing something wrong. You looked at him, apologizing, "I'm not expecting anyone."
You walked to the door and he stood behind you, telling you he was going to let you be. You didn't want to and you were already chastising yourself from not trying to talk to him and focusing on your problems instead. You opened the door and in the threshold stood Penelope Garcia, gift basket in hands. Before you could speak, both of your guests spoke at the same time.
A mortified "Garcia?" from Spencer.
A surprised "Spencer?" from Penelope.
Finally, a confused "Do you know each other?" from you.
"Yeah. We work together." Spencer replied. "What are you doing here, Penelope?"
"What are you doing here, boygenius?" Her tone now was teasing, a cheshire grin on her face. You were acting confused, but you were loving to see Spencer so out of place.
"I... I was..." He trailed off.
Poor thing. "He came to drop Olivia's gift. We're neighbors." You explained, trying to save him from further embarrassment.
She glanced between you two, eyes full of mirth behind her glasses. "I'm here to do the same." She said, smiling as she handed you the basket, which you took carefully and thanked her with a side hug. "There's her present, sweetcheeks. I'm so sorry I couldn't be there, you know how much I miss you and Olivia. But I'm sure our genius told you all about it." Her sentimental words truly held emotion, but she turned her attention to Spencer once again. The opportunity was too good to let go.
Spencer looked like a fish out of water. You opened your mouth to speak, but he beat you to it. "Garcia, can we talk?" He asked abruptly. "I'm sorry, I have to go." He murmured in a much more soft tone to you.
He could never resume whatever was going on in there because he felt like he had been caught with his pants down.
You were so surprised you didn't even process what was your answer, forgetting to ask if Penelope wanted to come in or anything. "I—Okay. I'll see you, then." With a small smile and slight disappointment in your voice. He all but dashed out of your apartment and took Garcia, who had a mischievous expression on her face, with him. You closed your door and looked at the mix of flowers. A sigh escaped you. Damn, Garcia.
Spencer was escorting Penelope back to her car, ready to bury himself alive because he knew she would run her mouth and knew precisely to whom she would tell about it. And, of course, the endless jokes he would hear during the next few days. "Sooooo..." She trailed off, suggestively.
"I—don't want to talk." She opened her mouth, but had no success in talking. "Not. A. Word."
She entered her car and started the engine as he waited for her to go. But before she started driving, she yelled, "I knew you had it in you, Reid."
From your balcony, work long forgotten, you watched Spencer hide his face in his hands in utter embarrassment.
You were doomed.
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prolibytherium · 1 day ago
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Just in general I think trying to look to pre-late modern period history for validation of LGBT+ identities is an absolutely useless venture. Every single underlying human experience defined through the lens and framework of LGBT identity has always existed, but it's impossible to pin down Exactly who and what a figure might have been if they existed in this contemporary context and decided to self identify via these labels.
It's also a wildly reductive lens that flattens the complexity and variety of how sex and gender has been constructed across time in different cultures, how sexual norms have varied, etc. This is not a constructive approach to learn about history and you're never going to be able to fit historical figures neatly into little identity categories.
#I think people really really really need to get it through their heads that LGBT+ identities exist largely as an interaction with#mostly western gender norms and VERY specifically in our contemporary context and these labels do not objectively describe#innate underlying qualities neatly applicable to and distinctly separated in all contexts#Like there have always been men attracted to/who have sex with the people defined as men in their culture but that description#is not Always going to neatly match up to how you conceptualize 'being gay'#Or like. WRT the 'I will sodomize and facefuck you' poem. I saw people just absolutely WILDLY missing the point of it#at its face value of a man describing engaging in sex acts with other men and it's like. the message here is 'you are accusing me#of effeminacy and I am rhetorically threatening to exert my masculine dominance over you via penetrative rape to show you#who the real effeminate man is'. Like most people clearly at least got the message that it's intended to be insulting but like#it's not just that. It is straight up Normative Roman Masculinity (albeit notably aggro) and is not implying actual interest in sex#with men in a recognizably 'gay' sense#See also most arguments over 'was this '''woman who disguised herself as a man''' a trans man/lesbian/cishet woman escaping misogyny'#like YOU WILL NEVER FUCKING KNOW. JUST REFER TO THIS PERSON HOW THEY WANTED TO BE REFERRED TO AND STOP ARGUING#I think there's a very understandable drive to look to history to say 'see? we've always been here' but the mistake is trying to do that#for SPECIFIC identities defined in HIGHLY SPECIFIC AND CLEARLY SEPARATED ways.#Rather than as proof that yeah the western cis/heteronormative conceptualization of what sexuality/gender is and should be has#never been right and people who diverge from this (and from other cultural gender/sexual norms) have always existed
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yoyomomiko · 2 days ago
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omg you should definitely talk more about marking daisuke and the other way around 🙂‍↕️ i would love to mark him up
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Pairings: Daisuke x F!reader
Warnings: BITING; marking, hickeys, SUGGESTIVE (nsfw but not fully, so I guess mdni??), praising kink, small mention of dirty talking, small mention of bottom, submissive and soft dom Daisuke, cringe, not proofread, probably contains grammar mistakes, english isn't my first language!!
(A/N): I was so embarrassed to write this but like UGH I'm obsessed with Daisuke so badly rn it's insane😣 Also I'm so sorry this is kinda short and rushed😢 -> m.list
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★MARKING HIM
You have to hold a hand over his mouth, he won't shut up. He's whining and making so many noises❗
He's not really that much into you marking him, but he surely won't mind one bit
Leave a trail of hickeys and watch him PANIC.
He's so scared that somebody (Swansea) is gonna notice, and then scold him and also possibly you too😔
Imagine the look on his face while he realizes you left marks
IMAGINE PRAISING HIM WHILE YOU'RE NIPPING AT HIS SKIN THOOO
"You're doing so good for me," "Shit, mm, uh-huh..."
Sitting on top of him in one of your rooms and kissing him, leaving dark red marks trailing from his neck to his chest
He doesn't know how to cover them up, you gotta help him🥲
Like, he's gonna have something around his neck and when Swansea asks about it he's like
"Oh, you know, fashion."
He asks you not to mark him too high up because he's scared😔
Overall he enjoys it, not too into receiving from you but if you like it then he's all for it🙌
★MARKING YOU
Boy oh boy😍
When I tell you to get ready, to prepare yourself fully, then do it. Take a break, stare at the invisible camera for a second and then go back to reading.
UGH Daisuke is so fucking IN FOR IT
He loves loves LOVES giving them to you, he's so into it, it boosts his ego to see you all marked up by him🙏
Will gently kiss your skin before completely BITING into you, leaving so many dark purple marks over your neck and shoulders
Thinking about sitting on top of the desk in the utility room while Swansea is having his lunch break, making out with Daisuke, his lips all over your skin, leaving hickeys everywhere (might write a fic about this)
If you let even the slightest noise escape your mouth, he's gonna take it as a "go on"
Bottom Daisuke this, Submissive Daisuke that, WHAT ABOUT SOFT DOM DAISUKE??
Imagine just cuddling with him at night and he just buries his face in your shoulder. You think it's a cute gesture until you feel a slight sting and realize he's nipping at your skin (also might write a fic about this)
He's gonna gently kiss the hickeys he left on you to soothe you, he's just sweet like that😋
If you like it, TELL HIM.
"Am I doing good?" "Yes, very good-"
You can barely even talk because he's digging his teeth into you so much
He's gonna ask if he's doing good in between kisses just because🫶
Did I mention he's not big on dirty talking? I mean, he does it accidentally sometimes, but he just cringes whenever he tries.
BUT HE'S BIG ON PRAISING SO😝
CALL HIM A GOOD BOY WHILE AT IT
Will also leave full on teeth marks, just a heads-up, he's a vampire❗
Overall he likes giving marks more than receiving
"It's not accurate, that's not how Daisuke would be!!" idc these are MY headcanons so shoo😠
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★yoyomiko ★miko
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ifightformyfriends · 1 day ago
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I took calls for Covered California for all of 2023 and it is capable of helping SO much, however, so many bad outcomes from it came from misunderstanding one simple thing.
The ACA gives you your tax break in advance, you are essentially borrowing from yourself once you file taxes. When it asks you for tax information, it is asking what, to the best of your ability, your year of coverage taxes will look like. So, for 2025, you need to fill it out with what you expect the taxes you file in 2026, for 2025, to look like. If you make mistakes and do not correct them, that is when you can get hit with having to repay what you were given because you were borrowing from your future self and then didn't get that money.
Income changes are a big one that caused issues, but other big ones included not reporting spouses or kids because they didn't need coverage. They are on your taxes, they need to be included to know how much money you can borrow from your future self. Also, if you are offered coverage from your job, or your spouses, and it is considered Affordable (which has a legal definition) and meets legal minimums, you cannot get financial assistance. Same for if you file taxes alone while married. Automatically have to pay back everything for those.
That's it for warnings, now for some ADVICE.
BRONZE plans are shit. They cover basically nothing. Three basic checkups a year, and after that they are basically a safety net for catastrophes ONLY.
If you are low income, SILVER is usually the way to go. Certain income ranges qualify for ENHANCED SILVER which means more coverage and less cost. Silver 84 has coverage greater than Gold and Silver 94 is better than Platinum. If you have access to those PLEASE take them.
Deductible is what you have to pay in the year before the insurance "kicks in" and starts paying for things. Lot of people did not know that.
I am a random person on tumblr, I can answer asks to the best of my ability, but if you want more information look for a Certified Enrollment Counselor. NOT an Agent. CECs are members of Covered California that are incentivized to HELP. Agents are third party licensed "with" Covered California and get a portion of your Premium as kickback. A lot of Agents would fuck up information on the application to get lower costs for people that they'd have to pay back where the Agent just gets free money out of it. Some are decent and care, but they were rare from the perspective of someone being called when there were problems.
I know that's a lot to take in but so many heartbreaking calls were due to a lack of understanding the system. If you know what they're asking for and what things are, it's an incredibly useful system! But very few people have that.
Banging on the walls chanting "OPEN ENROLLMENT FOR ACA THRU JAN 15" like some deranged town crier. Election results aside, you have options to access healthcare as a RIGHT through the ACA. NO one can dismantle the Affordable Care Act in less than 4 years, so SIGN UP! GET YOUR CARE! USE THE SYSTEM!
You have options RIGHT NOW that will be stable thru the next year, the one after that, and I'd be shocked to see them shrink even the year after that. That means RIGHT NOW you can get signed up for next year to gain 100% covered preventative care (your annual check ups, pap smears, dental cleaning, vision check). You have the option to get checked and screened as you need, do NOT be dissuaded from exploring ACA choices. They are SOLID, LEGISLATED, and WORK BEST WHEN PEOPLE USE THEM.
I can't change most things around me, BUT I CAN tell everyone I know that THEY CAN GET LIFE SAVING CARE. THEY CAN GET PRESCRIPTIONS. THEY CAN GET PREGNANCY CARE. THEY CAN GET CANCER CARE. AND THEY WILL GET THAT CARE!!!!!!
SIGN UP BY DECEMBER 15, 2024 FOR COVERAGE TO BEGIN ON JANUARY 1, 2025. ENROLLMENT AFTER 12/15/24 WILL HAVE COVERAGE BEGINNING FEBRUARY 1, 2025.
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betterthanyalls · 2 days ago
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hi!
can i request for a hermes x gn!reader x odysseus? :)
i was thinking that maybe reader is already a friend of odysseus, like a childhood friend maybe or a neighbor/citizen of his kingdom and has known him for years
reader liked ody but ody already has penelope so they arent flirting anymore but when hermes shows up and starts taking readers attention for himself that's when ody starts to get a little jealous maybe? aaa sorry it has been a while since ive requested anything - i hope its not too specific ;v;
i just thought it would be fun to see witty banter battles and playful snark ^^"
I have spent my entire day throughout school and home to work on this so i am very sorry for any mistakes or if its bad, i was speed running before i eepy, also i tried to make reader x odysseus more platonic cus he got penelope yk? ALSO NGL THIS WAS VERY FUN TO WRITE HEHEHEH
Masterlist
Divine Intervention
Hermes x GN!Reader x Odysseus [p]
EPIC: The Musical ~ Oneshot ~ Fluff
Words: 2.1K
Published: 11-5-2024
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A gentle puff of air blew through the vacant meadow, flowers brushing each other in a picturesque view. Within the center of the field, two souls lied together, laughing and gazing at the clouds with imagination. 
“That one reminds me of Argos,” Odysseus pointed up to a running puff of white above that loosely resembled said dog. “Oh, I see it!” Penelope grinned, her smile shining brighter than Helios. A short distance away, under the shade of a tree, sat the best friend of the couple. With their backs against the tree, Y/n watched on emotionlessly. Their mind felt blank; witnessing the source of their love showing admiration to somebody else delivered a new type of pain to their chest. Y/n felt lost. Would they never be the first choice? Odysseus had known them for the entirety of both their lives, but the moment he met Penelope, he forgot all about Y/n. He was head over heels, claiming he’d marry the princess before he turned twenty. Sure, they stayed friends, but that wasn’t enough for Y/n though they’d never admit it. Y/n couldn’t even blame Odysseus. Penelope looked like a goddess sent from Olympus. Anyone could mistake her for a divine being. 
With a silent sigh, Y/n prepared to push themself to their feet and take their leave. But a new presence stopped them from rising up. Looking to their left side, Y/n saw another figure sitting beside them. “Wow, really the third wheel, huh?” A cheery voice sounded from his mouth.
“Who are you?” Y/n asked, like any sane person would. “You mean you don’t recognize me? Your friend Ody would if you asked him,” the individual turned to face Y/n, giving them a good view of his identity. A metal helmet sat atop his head, adorned by smaller, brown, speckled wings. A mischievous grin was placed on his lips, with the rest of his face remaining covered by a shadow. Y/n leaned back slightly so the sun could pierce the shade better, revealing more of the man. A chiton made of the finest silk hung loosely from his shoulders, stopping at his knees. The male sat casually criss-crossed, his back propped against the same tree. A scepter sat on the ground beside him, holding two golden snakes and two glistening wings, power radiating off the item. Another point of interest for Y/n’s eyes were the sandals on his feet. Not in a footfetish type of interest, but intrigue with the fact wings fluttered like no big deal off the heels. Just as Y/n was going to breathe out his name, the guest spoke first. “Indeed, it is I, Hermes. God of messengers, travelers, luck, gambling, borders, animal husbandry, thieves, wit, speed, language, trades, commerce, athletes, merchants-”
The god continued rambling proudly about each of his domains as Y/n’s awe slowly fell into a deadpan. “I know you,” they cut off his boasting, not truly caring if it was rude. Thankfully, instead of being offended, the god merely grinned. “So, Y/n, what are you doing out here? Away from the party?” Hermes had a teasing tone in his voice, gesturing to the two lovers ahead of them. Odysseus and Penelope had no knowledge of a god offering company to their closest friend. Y/n wanted to ask how he knew their name, but they figured it was some divine power thing.
“Ody wanted to spend time with Penelope, but he was too nervous to come alone. So he dragged me along. But I don’t want to intrude on their moment together,” Y/n shrugged, looking at their friends.
The mischief god watched the mortal for a moment before a plan formed in his mind. “Well, I can’t let such a beautiful soul be alone, now can I?” Y/n turned to face Hermes, an amused yet confused smile on their lips. “I’m sorry?” They inquired, not sure if they understood his words correctly. In response, Hermes stood up and held his hand out to help the mortal up too. “If they have their moment together, then allow me to give you a moment for us.” The god had a gentle smile, keeping his hand out for them to grab. Raising an eyebrow, Y/n hesitantly took his offer and grabbed his hand. He pulled them up to stand beside him.
“So, where are we going?” Y/n asked, looking into the forest behind them. Hermes just laughed in excitement.
“You’ll see!”
And before Y/n could utter another word, the god pulled them close and took off racing through the trees. The world whipped past them at lightning speed. Trees, rocks, roads, towns—everything went by in a flash until suddenly it all paused.
Taking a deep breath, Y/n stepped away from the god. Their legs felt like brittle wood, threatening to give out at a simple breeze. Once they caught their breath, the mortal looked around to see them in the center stands of the nearby sports. Athletes were in the midst of competition down below, and nobody seemed to question two people just appearing. Hermes sat down on a stone slab and patted for Y/n to sit beside him. Doing so, the god offered them some grapes he may or may not have stolen from other mortals. “Did you choose this event just because you’re the god of athletes?” Y/n questioned  with a small laugh, taking a grape to eat and watching the sports continue. Hermes responded with his own laugh, beaming at the person beside him. “Would you leave if I said yes?” Y/n pretended to think for a moment before turning to face him with a hum. “No, but you better make this worth it,” they chuckled playfully, popping another grape to their mouth. ~~~~~ Hermes did truly make it worth it. So worth it that the two began going on adventures every day. From splashing around in rivers to exploring dark caves, the mortal and god’s friendship grew each day.
Anytime Y/n questioned themself in a mirror, Hermes would somehow maifest behind them to compliment their looks before going back to whatever job he had that day. “Dahling, you look gorgeous—beyond stunning, truly.” Was heard more than once
They would even find gifts sometimes, usually always stolen, waiting in their bedroom.
~~~~~
Currently, Y/n and the king of Ithaca were sitting in his bedroom, just talking like old friends. “So, you’ve been disappearing randomly only to come back in one state or another. Not to mention, you’ve been much more upbeat lately. What’s going on?” Odysseus interrogated with a grin. Y/n stayed quiet for a moment. Could they tell their lifelong friend about the new soul in their life? Odysseus had a raised brow, waiting for a response. “C’mon, you know you can tell me anything.” He offered with a calmer smile. Y/n’s expression softened, and they sighed, deciding to speak the truth. "I met someone,” they began, trying to form the correct words. Something in Odysseus’ eyes changed at this revelation. His posture stiffened just for a moment before returning to his previously relaxed state. “And who may this 'someone’ be?” The king continued, trying to get as much information as possible. With a quiet whisper, Y/n confessed. “Hermes...” Their lips held a bashful smile as they looked away from their friends' eyes. The friend in question paused, blinking slowly to process the information. “Hermes?! The god?!” He exclaimed with an open jaw. Y/n quickly shushed him, shoving their hands in his face. “Sh sh sh! Shut up! Not so loud,” they hissed, taking their hands away carefully once Odysseus nodded in agreement. “You know Hermes?” He continued to quiz. “Don’t you?” Y/n raised an eyebrow, thinking back to the first conversation with the god. Hermes said that Odysseus would know who he was.
“Well, yeah, I do. But I didn’t think you would too,” he tried to reason, although his point fell flat. “You don’t think a lot,” they retorted. Before Odysseus could try to fire back, a sudden breeze blew in from the open balcony. Looking over, a certain god stood against the stone railing with a familiar grin. “If it isn’t my two favorite mortals! If I wasn’t mistaken, I’d say I was the center of this discussion,” Hermes laughed, waltzing into the room. He ruffled Odysseus’ hair playfully before taking a stand next to Y/n.
“Hermes.” Odysseus brought a hand up to fix his hair. The god just laughed again, wrapping an arm around Y/n’s shoulder to give them a side hug. The narrowing eyes of the soldier didn’t go unnoticed by Hermes, brightening his smile.
“Hey Hermes,” Y/n greeted warmly.
Odysseus didn’t enjoy seeing his best friend so cozied up with another person. Even if that other person was a god who saved his life multiple times and also his great-grandfather. An idea began forming in his mind to get rid of the situation. “Y/n, I think I remember seeing a show taking place in the city. You and I can go see it now before it finishes,” the king offered, casting a victorious grin to Hermes as Y/n gave their own smile. “That sounds cool! Yeah, we can go!” Y/n moved away from Hermes' hug as the two mortals took their leave. Once they left, Hermes frowned and took his own leave back to his previous tasks for Olympus. ~~~~~ It didn’t take long for a secret war to begin. Every moment, Y/n was in between two opposing sides. They were either with Odysseus one day and Hermes the next, or they were sitting in between both males who kept trying to one-up each other, which would eventually end in arguments.
“I mean honestly, darling, why spend your time with such a brute when you could have someone as divine as I?” “BRUTE?!”
“Really, Y/n, he’s the god of lies. If anything, his words mean nothing compared to mine.” “Your entire reputation is a lie.” “Well, I guess it’s just you and me, Y/n—” “Oh, please. That’s more of a stress than a privilege.” “Did you hear something, dahling? Why, I can’t seem to hear anything below FIVE FEET.” “OH HOW MATURE—” “IT IS!!”
This took place almost daily, and it acted as peak entertainment for Y/n. ~~~~~ Today, unlike any other, Y/n and Odysseus sat quietly in a familiar meadow. However, the king was being unnaturally quiet. Turning to face their friend, Y/n spoke up.
“Ody, are you alright?” Concern was clear in their voice as they waited patiently. Odysseus didn’t make any notice of hearing their words for a minute before he finally answered.
“You’re replacing me.”
Those words caught Y/n off guard. Odysseus was looking at the grassy field around them rather than meeting his companions eyes.
“What? No, I’m not. What makes you say that?” They furrowed their eyebrows in worry, anxious for his reasoning.
“You spend more time with him,” he hissed, speaking of the god like venom on his tongue.
“Well, maybe, but-”
“BUT NOTHING! I’m supposed to be your best friend! Me! Not him. It’s us against the world; we agreed on that years ago.” Odysseus turned to Y/n with a deep frown, his eyes showing unease. He had been betrayed time and time again before; he couldn’t risk losing another friend.
Y/n stayed silent, stunned by his sudden outburst. Odysseus just looked back to the meadow, shame filling his soul. After a few moments, Y/n regained their bearings as sympathy and guilt covered their features.
“Ody,” they called softly, but he continued to look away. "Ody, look at me.”
Reluctantly, he looked over to his friend.
“Ody, I could never replace you. You are woven into my soul like a grapevine. Why do you think I would break our pact?” They spoke softly, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. Odysseus sighed, looking back to the ground. He felt so stupid for assuming they would hurt him too.
“I’m sorry,” he mumbled gently, looking at them out of the corner of his eyes.
“It’s alright; I would do the same if I were you. I forgive you,” Y/n smiled warmly to him, earning a hesitant smile back from him.
~~~~~
After this whole incident, Odysseus stopped arguing so much with Hermes. Sure, the mortal still gave the god a few half-hearted glares, but they eventually learned to share Y/n’s attention.
The trio sat calmly on the balcony of Odysseus’ room, waiting for Penelope to arrive for a nightly get-together. The sun sank slowly below the horizon, offering a charming glow to the city.
“So, darling, how’d you manage to get such a feral man to calm down?”
“FERAL?!”
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yuvany · 2 days ago
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LOVE IS BLIND
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( 㦥 ) ❛ — loving in blind , loving as one . to love without judgement , leaving it pure and fragile , like a child to its bed.
CONTAINS ⃫ SIM JAKE x blind!reader + fluff + f!reader + strangers to lovers + slight angst , short / series fic , 1029 wc
─── ꒰ 𝗡𝗢𝗧𝗘𝗦 ⃫ i do not know how it is to be blind, so I apologise in advance if there are any mistakes. Also got this idea from the Veil manga !! This might become a sort series.
reblogs + feedback always appreciated !
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YOU HATED THIS, the restrictions and bounds that they had set up. Just because you were blind did not mean you were hopeless on your own. While you understood why they worried so much, you also didn't conprehend why they cared. They rarely looked at you, they only seemed to notice you when it came to your 'disability'. You wanted to tell them that they should stop pitying you and treat you like a normal person. Sure, you might miss a step while walking up or down the stairs, but other than that, you might just be better than them at sensing and understanding your environment. You just never had the courage to tell them that.
Your sisters were busy, and so were your parents. That meant you never had time to spend time with them, so your only company were the maids and butlers that were hired around the mansion. They weren't exactly boring, but obeying the rules seemed to bore you, so once you were sure that you were alone, you sneakily exited the building through the main gate without someone seeing you, because well, how would a blind girl make her way out on her own? While outside, you felt the cold breeze grace your cheek softly, content with the new atmosphere that made you smile.
You walked down the unfamiliar path, feeling something soft and pat from under your boot soles. Recently, the maids had been discussing some dinner for Christmas and that it was soon time to decorate the Christmas tree. You figured that it was winter and that this must be snow. Curiosity was too great, and you bent down, letting your fingers comb through the cold material. "What are you doing?" It was a deep voice, so it must've been a man, and you heard his heavy foot steps trail behind you as he approached you closer. You got up on your feet, and tried to figure out where he stood. "Hello?" You called out, and you felt how someone grabbed you by the shoulder, telling you to face them. "Thanks. I'm just here enjoying the snow!" You answered his previous question with a geek smile. "Have you never seen snow before?" You shook your head and said, "Sir, I'm blind." "My apologies, ma'am."
The air turned stale for a minute, you were clueless, but the man in front of you was sweating due to the tense atmosphere. "May I ask for you name?" he asked, and you placed your pointer against your chin, acting as if you were thinking of something deeply. "No, no you may not." You teased, a smile creeping across your lips. "How else are you suppost to find your way home? I'm sure you're lost." You shook your head at his statement. "No sir, I am not lost. And how can I be sure I can trust you to bear my name?" You cocked back. "If it reassures you, I can tell you that my name is Officer Sim Jaeyun, working for the police in this town." Your lips pursed at his words, not realising what hassle you might've caused with your attitude. "oh! I'm so terribly sorry, officer, my maids always tell me I should calm myself," you chuckle awkwardly. "I'm (name)." You reached your hand out aimlessly to shake his. The leather glove wrapped around your bare hands, yet, you still felt the heat of his palm beam through the thick material.
"You should make your way home, ma'am." "But I just got out and started exploring." you argued, and you heard the man sigh. "Do you even know the adress to your home?" Jaeyun asked, and you stayed silent before answering, accidentally cutting him off, "Then why-" "I know the adress, but walk me around town and then I'll tell you it." You made a preposition, and you could sense how he was agreeing to it. "Alright, follow me." You grabbed onto his bicep, being less careful with your steps now that you had someone to accompany you. "Why were you out alone?" Jaeyun asked, and you replied, "Well, I'm not really let out so I guess I sneaked out." You chuckled, feeling how his palm laid over yours, helping you down the stairs.
"Let's go to the café. It is really popular." He suggested, and you trusted his sense since he was an officer after all. You licked your lips slightly at the sound and nodded your head. "I love cafés! Don't you, officer Jaeyun?" You asked, perking your head up at where you heard his voice. "I quite like them." You heard the small announcement of the bell upon opening the door that led into a nice and warm environment. "So cosy.." you whispered to yourself. "What would you like to order, madam?" He asked, and you told him you only wanted a cup of tea with one sugar cube. "alright." He said, and walked you over to an empty table, telling you to stay put and not scurry off somewhere. You observed the surroundings with your sharp hearing managing to figure out that there were quite a lot of people around and that pets were allowed in when you heard a dog bark.
"And here's your tea, y/n." His voice pulled you out of your thoughts, and you commented, "Why did you just sound like a server?" "I try my best to make you feel welcomed." He says, and someone's feet kicked against yours from under the table when they sat down. You heard him mutter a quiet 'sorry'.
It's been a while since you actually enjoyed yourself like this. You liked the feeling of friendliness that had already bloomed. You hoped that this new friend didn't feel burdened by you, and that maybe, just maybe he also saw you as possible friend. "Where did your smile go?" He asks, upon seeing that your empty eyes were turned to his hands that encased the small porcelain cup in between his two palms even though you were unable to see. "Oh, it's nothing. I was just thinking of something." He shrugged and went on with his meal while you pondered some more.
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wantondoe · 2 days ago
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Drop dead gorgeous
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(I deeply apologize if you're reading this in the middle of the night and your eyes burn due to the bright image)
Hazbin Hotel x doe reader / Alastor x doe reader
Warnings: cursing, sexual themes (duh) / A comedic story about Hazbin Hotel staff reacting to your tail dropping off seemingly out of nowhere. You and Alastor are mates.
It was a Saturday night at the hotel and the staff was spending some quality time at the Bar. Alastor was also there, standing on the side while examining everyone's movements, a soft smile playing on his lips. His gorgeous ruby eyes lighting up as he saw his oh so adorable mate running down the stairs. His smile widened as he saw you running towards him.
You were wearing one of those dresses he had bought you, a rich crimson red dress that even had a hole in the back for your lovely doe tail. His eyes lingered on the soft tail, before making their way up at your cute pointy ears and finally settling on your face.
"My my, you look absolutely stunning my dear! That dress really suits you", he said, his voice full of admiration.
"You're flattering me, darling", you chuckle, taking his hand and leading him to the bar. He helped you on a high bar stool. You sat there happily, the plush tail wagging as you engaged in a conversation with the others.
Alastor wasn't exactly the biggest fan of public display of affection. Regardless of that, he wanted everyone to know who you belong to. So, he would sometimes hold you close, place his large hand possessively on your back, or perhaps pet your tail.
Tonight, he chose the latter, gently stroking your tail as you were having a conversation about different alcohol drinks with Husk.
"Chardonnay always makes me feel like a 40-year-old suburban mom", you giggle. "No offense, of course! Mom's are the best, but not the abusive ones!"
Alastor smiled at your quirkiness.
"Well, beer makes me feel like an average Joe who works in construction", Angel joked back, playing with the stereotypes. "Cider on the other hand makes me feel like a teenage girl who just discovered tampons-"
Angel stared at the floor under your bar stool, his eyes wide with horror. You suddenly felt odd, as if something was missing. You looked around, noticing that Alastor had an absolutely horrified look on his face as he stared at the same spot with Angel. Soon, the others stopped talking as well.
"A-Alastor, what's going on?" you asked, confused, looking up at your mate. You quietly followed his gaze only for it to land on a furry piece on the floor.
At that same exact moment, Lucifer marched in the area, eager to meet up with his daughter. "My daughter, I am here!" Lucifer sang. "Oh my! What the unholy Hell is that?" He pointed at the furry piece on the floor, using his apple wand.
"Oh, that will be perfect for my collection!" Nifty poked at the furry mess.
"Do not pick that up", Alastor said sternly, stopping Nifty from further touching the tail.
"That's.. That's my tail", you whisper. "My tail... It fell off..."
Alastor stood there, feeling guilty. Had he stroked your tail too harshly? Was this all his fault?
You picked up the tail, holding it on your palms, hot salty tears forming in your precious doe eyes. Alastor felt horrible, absolutely heartbroken for your lovely tail. He placed a comforting hand on your shoulder.
"How could this happen to me?" you sobbed. (I've made my mistakes)
Chaos unwrapped in the room as everyone realized the true nature of the situation.
Angel: What the fuck? THIS DID NOT JUST HAPPEN!
Charlie: Vaggie! CALL THE AMBULANCE!
Vaggie: On it... Shit! Where's the phone? Dammit!
Husk passed out on the bar table with a loud thump.
Vaggie: WHERE IS THE PHONE?
Lucifer: Charlie, I should tell you, I have hemorrhoids!
Charlie: Dad- what? Why are you telling me that-
Lucifer: My ass might just fall off like that tail! The surgeon said they might have to operate on it-
You: My tail is gone and so is my will to live-
Lucifer: Imagine it Charlie, an operation, on my ass!
Alastor: No, don't say that dear-
Charlie: Dad, I'd rather not-
Nifty was running around in panic, accidentally bumping into you and making you lose your balance. Due to that, your fallen tail flew in a beautiful arch, soaring through the air and eventually landing on Angel's hair. Angel stood there for a moment in shock, before he yelled in disgust.
Angel: AAARRGHH SON OF A BITCH!
Angel used his long arms to grab the fallen tail and threw it away. The tail soared through the air once again, this time landing inside Lucifer's open mouth.
Alastor: How dare you treat my mate's tail like that-
Angel: Ugh! It was still warm!
Lucifer's eyes widened as the tail landed in his mouth and throat. He started choking on the soft fur.
Charlie quickly started beating the hell out of Lucifer, slamming her open palm on his back.
Vaggie on the phone: Yes we have a male choking on a fallen doe tail. Yes we need professional help!
You: Charlie, do the maneuver!
Charlie, in panic: WHAT FUCKING MANEUVER?
You: The Hamburger, no... The Heimlich maneuver!
Charlie: I DONT KNOW WHAT THAT IS!
You: MOVE!
You started desperately performing the maneuver. Lucifer was gagging like a fish on dry land. Angel started filming the scene.
Vaggie on the phone: YES HE IS TURNING BLUE! Yes we are trying to help!
Thanks to your capable hands, Lucifer managed to cough the tail out. But this time the tail flew in your mouth. You felt the wet, soft fur. You felt like yelling, that's how disgusting this whole thing was.
Angel: Oh hell nah! That is... Ew. It's like, Lucifer's spit is inside you-
Alastor: Shut up Angel!
Now it was Alastor's turn to perform emergency care. He slapped the dear life out of you, his large palm hitting your upper back. But it didn't work, so he started performing the Heimlich maneuver. Since Alastor was so much bigger than you, it looked like he was humping a teddy bear.
Angel: Kinky!
Vaggie on the phone: Now we've got a female chocking on the tail!
Angel: Haha, is that how they look like when they are fucking?
Charlie: Come on, Angel...
Nifty, smirking: Alastor's a big boy!
Alastor, losing his control: SHUT UP! SHUP UP ALL OF YOU!
Alastor kept performing the maneuver while you desperately gagged, finally spitting the tail out. The slimy tail landed on Lucifer's hat, making him let out a ridiculously high pitched scream.
Alastor held you close, mumbling sweet nothings in your ear. "It's okay darling, you're fine, I'm here..."
"My tail... It's gone..." you cried softly against his chest.
Husk finally sobered up, seeing the scene in front of him. "What the hell did I miss?"
Angel quickly let Husk know what had happened.
Husk: Well, that's sucks. That sucks a lot-
Angel: Like your dad at the gay sex club-
Nifty: Nice one, Angie-
Husk: WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY-
Charlie: OMG! Look!
Vaggie: Your tail is growing back!
Never in your life had you ever witnessed this. First, your tail dropped, and now you were pushing out a new one. Alastor looked at the newly emerged tail that was even softer than the last one. He chuckled, reaching the tail to pet the silky fur.
"My my, looks like things worked out after all", Alastor chuckled. "First you dropped your old tail and now you grew out a new, drop dead gorgeous tail."
"Pun intended, huh?" Angel cackled.
You felt your new softer tail, still slightly confused by the most recent events. "I really have a tail after all..."
"Yes dear", Alastor nodded, ignoring Angel's comment. He grinned with a wicked glint in his eyes as he stole glances at the new tail. "Lovely."
Alastor's face when your tail fell off:
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petew21-blog · 1 day ago
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An apple a day...
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21st January 2021
Dr. Mikhail Varshavski, or how many people know him - Doctor Mike, is a famous succesful physician and an influencer making money out of his YouTube videos etc. Still taking a bit of his time to examine patients between his videos and interviews.
But today an elderly patient was suppse to come for a visit. Mikhail decided to make it a tv spot where the satisfied patient would come to the hospital and thanked him for treating him.
The patient's name was Arnold Jefferson, a 71 year old man suffering many conditions, such as diabetes, arthritis, hypertension and many many more. Quite common in older people.
Mr. Jefferson arrived an unaware of the upcoming spotilight was greeted by am assistant and led to a room with cameras.
Mr. Jefferson:"I was supposed to come for a vistit with Dr. Varshavski."
Assistant:"Doctor Mike wants to speak to you in front of the camera if that's ok? I am sure you have already signed multiple forms considering your privacy, while in his care. So we won't keep you long and I will go get doctor Mike."
Mr. Jefferson looked around confused. He came for a one on one dialogue, not an interview. He had no interest in all of this.
Docotr Mike arrived to the room. His hair ready, wearing his best scrubs that were ironed that day.
Mikhail:"Good morning, Mr. Jefferson. How are we feeling today?"
Mr. Jefferson:"Good morning. I.. well just as I normally do." he spoke nervously, looking at the cameras and the crew.
Mikhail spoke loudly for the microphone above them to hear and smiled way more than usual. "Amazing. We will do a standard check up and then we will take a look at your blood tests together. Is that ok?"
Mr. Jefferson nodded and was then examined in front of the camera. But they also did many photos where they were wearing masks and touched each other with elbows just to prove how safe they were while handling the ongoing pandemic.
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He felt uncomfortable. "Could I please be examined alone for the part where I get to undress?"
The smile from doctor Mike's face disappeared. "Sure. Yeah. Can all of you from the crew go and take 5? Thank you. We will finish with Mr. Jefferson quickly.
The crew left and Dr. Mike was left alone with the patient.
Mr. Jefferson:"You complicated things for me, you know? I would have done this much sooner."
Doctor Mike had his stethoscope in his ears listening to Mr. Jefferson's heart. "What do you mean by that?" he said confused by what the patient said.
Mr. Jefferson placed his hands on Dr. Mike's head. "This". Flashes of lights shined between the two of them. Mikhail wanted to run away, but the force from Mr. Jefferson's hands was so strong. He couldn't let go.
Mikhail's eyes closed by themselves. He didn't see anything.
The first thing he saw as he opened his eyes was his reflection. Nothing unusual. He saw his face everyday in the mirror. But he felt anxious as soon as his body started moving on his own and flexed.
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His body spoke out loud:"Oh my. It feels great to be this young again. It seems you take a great care for your body, Mikhail. Or I should say Arnold now."
Mikhail was in disbelief. What was happening? Is this all real?. "What did you do to me?"
Arnold:"I didn't hear that question for a very long time now. It will be easier to show you." he handed him the mirror. In the reflection was the same old man that he trested seconds ago. He touched his face and the reflection did the same.
Mikhail:"How are you doing this?"
Arnold:"Couldn't tell you even if I wanted to. I am honestly not sure."
Mikhail:"Why me? I am a doctor. I am not someone you should steal life away from."
Arnold:"You almost answered your question. If I don't have the right to do that then why should you? Remember my wife you treated? How you misdiagnosed her?"
Mikhail:"This is medicine. Mistakes can happen. It's not an exact science. Sometimes we don't have the power to save everyone."
Arnold:"Maybe. But my wife was special, like me, you know. We did the same thing I just did for you for almost a century. But we fell in love with the life that these bodies had. The love they had for each other, the family. We even had a new young couple found to move over to, but you just had to fuck it up. So... let my face be a constant reminder of what you messed up."
Mikhail:"You can't do this. No one will believe you. Everyone will find out. I will tell them."
Arnold:"Yeah, not really my concern. Whenever one of you does this, they end up in a mental hospital. So I guess it's up to you now, if you want to finish the shooting quietly or get a quick ticket for mental hospital for the short rest of your life you have left. So what's it gonna be?"
They finished the spot and Mikhail in Arnold's body was escorted out of the hospital. He was old now. His body ached. Every step he took was like a needle. He was picked up by one of his family members. He had no idea who it was. His son? Grandson? Maybe they'll know more about the swapping. Maybe the clues will be inside the house. Or maybe none at all.
18th February 2021
Mikhail sat in his new arm chair and held a mug in his hands. It has been almost a month since he lost his body.
One of his grandsons played with a tablet next to him.
Mikhail:"What are you doing there, Joe?"
Joe:"You wouldn't understand, grandpa."
Mikhail:"Maybe I would. How about you show me?"
Joe gave him initial instructions he would normally give Arnold, but Mikhail already knew all of this and confidently asked for him to put up YouTube.
Joe was surprised that his grandpa now knew all this, but he did what grandpa asked him to do.
They found Doctor Mike's channel. There was only one new video from the last time that Mikhail has posted anything.
The video had a bad quality. The one who edited the video was definitely an amateur.
The name of the video was: Why I decided to quit medicine
Mikhail froze. His life was all about being in the medical field. And now Arnold ruined it all.
He played the video. Arnold seemed very happy with his new body, because he kept touching his arms, his pecs and hair even while talking about how unsatisfied he became while working as a doctor.
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Mikhail took the tablet and searched for more information about his old body. He found information about a lawsuit for malpractice, that the new doctor Mike how faced.
But something kuch worse caught his attention. An Only Fans account.
Mikhail left the room with the tablet and his grandson screaming behind him. But he didn't care about that now. He opened the page and immediately subscribed while entering his credit card info.
The page unlocked.
Mikhail had tears in his eyes. There were videos of his old body pleasuring himself, embarassing himself, pleasuring others...
All of that for a bit of money from horny peopl, that wanted to see the famous doctor.
Mikhail decided to send a message that cost extra money.
He sat there for a while and thought about what it would say.
"Dear, doctor Mike. Or maybe you still remember your old name, Arnold. I wanted to say something mean about you ruining my life. But after watching the videos, I have to say I miss my body. Even though I would want it back I don't expect you'd give it like that for free. But maybe you could let me enjoy that body once again from someone else's view? What do you think? It might get a lot of views.
Sincerley,
Dr. Mike Arnold Jefferson"
On the other side of the screen sat Arnold in front of the computer, his dick hard. Reading the message from his old body.
"This might be interesting" he said, grinning mischievously.
Two woman called out behind him from the bed:"Coming to bed, honey?"
Arnold smiled and turned around. "Ready for round three?"
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Anonymous request from inbox
Could you please write a body swap story where an elderly patient steals Dr. Mike’s body when he is seen by him for a visit?
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bitethedevil · 3 days ago
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If you’re taking writing prompts consider-
Raphael reacting to Tav/Durge confessing they’re in love with him
I made it a Durge because I haven't written a lot of Durge stuff (fun fact: the first longer fic I ever wrote was with a Durge warlock that had Raph as a patron, but I never released it). Raph is being a bit of a manipulative dick in this one, but what's new. Also, I'm slow as fuck at replying to my asks (especially prompts)
Love
Clack clack clack clack…clack clack clack clack…clack clack clack clack.
His office was deadly quiet except for the sound of his claws tapping on the hard mahogany of his desk, a dangerous rhythm that she knew immediately what meant the second she heard it. The rhythm echoed her heartbeat as she waited for her patron to say something. She was in trouble.
He was leaning against his desk, looking at her and keeping her in suspense. A cruel smile stretched over his face, as he saw how she was beginning to feel uncomfortable. She had defeated monsters, mindflayers, gods…even the biggest monster of them all, her father. Still, nothing made her stomach churn more than the thought of Raphael’s wrath.
The feeling humiliated her as much as it thrilled her and drew her closer to him. She had been a god in her own right with all the lives she took under Bhaal and the cult she had led in his name, but this mere cambion brought her to her knees.
She was like a moth to his fiery flames. Everything about him excited her: his cruelness, his gracious mercy at times, his power plays. He felt like home. There was something safe and known in that cruelty that drew her closer. It was something she understood the rules of.
Click clack…
“I have always questioned your loyalty,” he finally said and moved his claws up to his face to look at them as he spoke. “It is no secret that I am prone to play favorites, but perhaps I made a mistake when I took you in…”
His yellow eyes looked up at her. His comment hit her like a punch to the gut and she knew as well as him that that was the intended effect. She hated the feeling of disappointing him. She hated that she felt that way about it even more. She cleared her throat.
“What is this about?” she asked quietly.
That was the wrong question. She could see it from the way his tail flicked in irritation. She had taught herself every one of his physical cues. They were subtle sometimes, but easier to read in this form. The man had total control over his body, but the devil was just a tad less composed.
“What is this about?” he repeated his question in a smooth, even tone. “Many things, my dear.”
That was another thing she had learned: it was never just one thing. Raphael held grudges. He archived every little mistake in his head in neat files, so he could throw them in your face when you stepped out of line.
“You came crawling to me after your father spat you out, after defying me at every turn and without a crown for me. You begged me to take you in, and yet I question your devotion to my cause. You owe me a grand debt when it comes to loyalty. A debt you have not yet paid back with your services, and one that I now question if you will ever pay back if you keep associating yourself with the wrong people.”
She had wanted to give him the Crown of Karsus. She had liked him even back then. Her companions had fought her every step of the way, and with her dealing with Bhaal, she had too much on her plate to fight them on it.
“It wasn’t my choice, Raphael,” she pleaded. “You know—”
“Yes, yes,” he cut her off impatiently with a wave of his clawed hand. “I have heard all your endless excuses…and I graciously forgave you, didn’t I? You would have been a bloody stain on my carpet long ago if I had not. What I cannot forgive is disloyalty.”
“Raphael, please,” she pleaded quietly. “Just tell me what I have done. I’ll make it right.”
Another flick of his tail. His nose wrinkled and his eyes narrowed, but he quickly schooled his features back into one of indifference.
“What were you doing in Waterdeep?” he asked slowly, each word as heavy as a brick.
That was what all of this was about. She had visited Gale. Gale who had been the very reason that the Crown of Karsus did not go to Raphael. Gale and her had started out as friends, but it evolved to something more along the way. It did not work out. Gale was too perfect, too functional for her. She broke his heart, and she would be lying if she said that this fact wasn’t taken into consideration when she gave up on trying to give to the Crown of Karsus to Raphael.
“I was just visiting,” she admitted. “Nothing more.”
“Just visiting,” he repeated with a hint of venom in his voice. “Just visiting an old flame that snubbed your patron of what was rightfully his, is that right? Is he well, our dear Gale? Does his new unburdened life suit him?”
“We are friends—”
“Friends,” Raphael said with a cruel laugh. “How awfully sentimental of you, dear. How soft you have become. I remember a ruthless woman who murdered her way through Baldur’s Gate. That woman, I could have used. It seems that your father has stripped you of everything that once made you interesting.”
That comment made her furious. It made her blood boil, but then why was she on the verge of crying instead? Why did she find herself pleading instead of yelling?
“Gale and I have been through hell and back,” she said. “It doesn’t change my loyalties for you. Please, Raphael.”
“I will NOT be made to look a fool!!” he roared with a sudden fire in his eyes.
The sound boomed through his office. She flinched. His tail flicked from side to side now. He looked her up and down. It seemed to please him how she was turning pale at his words and tearing up. He returned to his calm and collected demeanor as quickly as he got angry.
“Why are you crying?” he asked without a shred of sympathy in the question.
She tried to stop, but she couldn’t. She just wanted him to understand that she was devoted to him, and that this was all a mistake. She had not meant to cross him or make him angry, but merely to visit an old friend. His nails started tapping on the table again as he waited for her to speak.
“Can’t you— can’t you see that I’m only loyal to you?” she sobbed. Clack, clack… “I made a contract with you because I wanted to work for you. I’m yours, and only yours.” Clack, clack, clack. “Can’t you see how I only want to please you? How much I love you?”
Clack.
He froze for a moment at the oddly heartfelt confession that escaped her lips. She had not meant for that to come out, but he was great at pressuring her into saying things she didn’t want to admit. It was a humiliating confession. She hated being so vulnerable and weak. She wished that she could stuff the words right back down her throat. He wasn’t supposed to know.
A smile spread over his otherwise frozen face. He looked her up and down and let out a small huff of laughter. He looked like a man who had just been handed the perfect weapon. His hand left the table and beckoned her closer with a finger.
She walked over to him, unable to look him in the eye. He tilted her head up with a claw under her chin. He towered over her in that form.
“Look at me,” he ordered.
She looked into his yellow eyes. He was smiling at her.
“Say it again.”
“I love you,” she repeated.
The humiliation in the confession was more apparent this time, and he was eating it up like it was the best meal he had had in centuries. He laughed her straight in the face.
“Oh, dear,” he said with a chuckle. “A creature of habit, aren’t you? You poor girl…”
She swallowed hard. She should have just shut up. His thumb ran over her jaw and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. The touch set her aflame, despite the excruciating embarrassment she was feeling.
“Do I remind you of your dear old papa?” he asked, still smiling like the cat that got the cream. “Is that what this is about? It is always the fathers, isn’t it? Still searching for the approval of a cruel master, even now. Perhaps you haven’t changed at all, my dear…”
She kept quiet. He leaned closer as if sharing a secret. She could smell wine and tobacco on his breath. His thumb rubbed circles on her jaw.
“Tell me,” he whispered to her. “Where did your dear Gale fit into this picture? I’m awfully curious.”
Her eyes flicked to his lips for only a second, but he didn’t miss it by the way his smile widened.
There was only one acceptable answer and she prayed that she would choose the right one. She shrugged.
“He didn’t,” she said quietly.
That was the right answer from the way his smile widened.
“No, I would imagine not,” he said. “Too…boring…wasn’t he? He was not enough of a challenge for you, so you discarded him.”
There was a hint of guilt in her eyes at his words. He tutted gently and caressed her cheek.
“Who could blame you?” he cooed. “People like us won’t concern ourselves with boredom. You were right in choosing to focus on greater things. Gale was easy. Pleasing him was easy. He would not make you fight for it like I will.”
That promise made a shiver go through her. Raphael grabbed her arm and tugged her even closer, until she was standing between his legs with her chest pressed against his. His hand came to rest on her hip. He pressed his forehead against her, his nose touching hers. He was tantalizingly close.
“You are mine then, aren’t you?” he asked. “Only mine.”
She nodded. He gave a dangerous smile.
“You want to please me,” he said. “To make me happy…”
Another nod.
“You love and adore me.”
Another nod. His lips were so close she could almost taste them. His thumb was rubbing circles into her hip. His tail was flicking side to side, but not in rage. It was more like a cat that is ready to pounce on an unsuspecting prey that it had been sneaking up on for a while.
“You will write a letter to Gale Dekarios and say that you are unavailable for any future visits,” he whispered against her lips. “That you have already done plenty for him and that you never want to see him again.”
His lips brushed lightly against hers before he pulled away, stealing her breath. She chased his lips, but he only smiled and pulled away further. She knew she had to earn it.
“Go. You wouldn’t want to disappoint me, would you?” he said with a smile and let go of her.
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laura1633 · 1 day ago
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Oh wow i have a serious problem i just went over what i wrote to you and i probably should have stopped at the first two sentences but it gets me upset the abuse lando faces i dont even like the guy i perfer oscar, max, charles and carlos but even i know that sending death threats to someone is not okay, and it upsets me that people almost always take his words out of context like when did lando say he actually had a chance at winning the wdc this year? I've seen people bash on him for the latest race where max raced incredibly, but what they dont seem to understand is that the race's terrible race conditions could have actually seriously injured him, we all seem to forget that the guy is younger then max, less experienced, and has huge problems with self-worth that actively seem to affect the way he race's. the fact that max won in the rust bucket that barely seemed to work in favor of the guy is incredable, but bashing on another driver for seemingly not wanting to take a chance with the awfull race conditions (*please note that this is what it looked like to me on what lando was doing that race where he did make mistakes but the weather wasnt helping ether* also note that that franco, oliver and others commented ether on the weather being dangerous, their cars 'Presumably the cars not agreeing with the weather ether', or the fact they couldnt see for shit and out right stated that someone should have a talk with the fia *i couldnt watch the whole race but ive seen snippets of driver radio's and the like, so i cant say with 100% certainty that this is correct*)
So yeah i think that, if i as someone who doesnt like lando, its really concerning what some people say about the guy and as a side note none of the other drivers seem to notice the hate from what ive seen but this last part might just be me. What are your thoughts on the hate lando's been getting seeming to increase anytime he seems to actually want to enjoy racing with the other more popular (equally popular?) Drivers?
🍑anon
Hi anon, 
That’s okay, I will respond to this ask rather than the previous one (but just for context for anyone else the previous ask was about fan fiction so wan’t anything mean). This ended up being a really lengthy answer because I have lots of thoughts!!! 
I’ll put the answer under the cut and tag as anti Lando despite this really just being my opinion and I personally don’t think I am being particularly harsh here but maybe people will disagree.
Firstly hopefully to most people it goes without saying that sending death threats is not okay, that goes for any of the drivers (and various other individuals that I have seen targeted over the past few years). I also have never understood people specifically going to an individual’s social media page just to spout negativity or abuse at them, if you don’t like someone you don’t need to follow them. 
However, I am surprised that people seem to be shocked that Lando is receiving hate online as this is absolutely nothing new and, if I am being honest, I have seen worse (not that this is a competition!).
I will speak from the perspective of being a Max supporter and say that the abuse he has received both online and at track has been appalling over the years. After Silverstone 2021 there were plenty of comments from people saying he ‘deserved’ such an awful crash or that they wished it had been worse. Even this year there were memes going around saying that maybe we needed a repeat of Silverstone 21 (a meme liked by Lando’s dad no less, not that I think we should be blaming children for their parent’s actions!). Not only that but there is rarely a week that goes by that I don’t see jokes online about how Jos is the only one that ‘can beat Max’ or people posting memes about Max being left at a gas station when he does badly. Max needed a bodyguard in Mexico last year because there were concerns over death threats, he’s been booed up on the podium, had people chanting cheat at him in the fan zone, every comment section on his social media includes comments telling him he is a cheat or that his achievements mean nothing. The British media are like vultures any time there is even a hint of controversy. I don’t know why everyone is suddenly up in arms about Lando receiving hate, perhaps its a case of only caring when it happens to ‘their’ driver. 
It doesn’t just happen to Max either. I don’t follow Lewis on social media but I still know the type or racist abuse he has faced over the years. Other drivers also receive abuse - Lance for example has vile things said about him, Nicholas Latifi was sent death threats after 2021. I am sure most if not every driver has experienced some level of hate. Social media can be extremely toxic. 
Do I think any of the drivers should have to deal with such toxicity? No, but Lando is nowhere near the only one to receive hate and I don’t think someone like Max who appears ‘strong’ should have to put up with things because people get the impression it doesn’t bother him.
Whether the other drivers notice, well probably they do but its not happening just to Lando. Did Lando realise how much toxicity was being thrown at Max after Austria or Mexico? Did he try and calm things with the media or did he double down and make things worse for Max? 
As for taking Lando’s words out of context. That definitely happens from time to time, the same as with any driver. Media goes for clickbait headlines and run with them. The problem is that Lando has also said things that haven’t been taken out of context and that people still find distasteful. The comments about it not being talent and being luck did not come across well. I was tempted to give him the benefit on that one and assume he was referring to himself and saying it was not him being untalented but unlucky but then he doubled down by saying nobody deserved to win the race more than George - how can I take that any other way other than the fact he was saying Max didn’t ‘deserve’ to win the race. 
As for Lando saying he thought he could win the WDC, if he didn’t think he could win it this year then to me that would be more of a concern. He has a championship winning car and has done for most the season, if he can’t win it now then when?! He should have been confident that he could win or at least put up a good fight. I would have had no problem with him openly saying he is going for the championship. Look at Charles who is not afraid to say that whilst it is still possible he is still fighting. I think part of the problem here lies with Mclaren because they should have been fully backing Lando and hyping him up but seemed to flip flop back and forth about whether they thought he was truly in the fight. It’s hardly going to give Lando confidence when his team don’t seem to be backing him as strongly as they could be. 
As for Brazil, Lando didn’t have a great race. George got past him at the start. He made too many errors. Charles finished in front of him despite starting behind him. Max, Esteban and Pierre took a risk staying out on those worn inters, they gambled on the fact the race would be red flagged but also on their abilities and confidence to keep the car on track under those conditions. They all did extremely well and deserved their podium spots. The most important thing though is that all the drivers came away without serious injuries because over the course of that weekend there were numerous occasions where entertainment was put over safety. If a driver felt they had to pit for safety reasons then I am glad they took that step.
Lando is younger than Max but I don’t think we need to baby him in terms of his racing or in terms of giving him a free pass with what he says in the media. He is 24 years old, the same age Max was when Max won his first championship under very intense pressure. 
I think you are correct about confidence or self worth affecting him. Whilst I wouldn't like to comment to much on his mentality, to me (and I don’t tend to watch too many of his interviews so I could be wrong) he seems to flop back and forth between being overly critical of himself and then also not taking accountability and saying someone else just had the fastest car or were lucky. I think it would be really good for him to be able to look as objectively as possible about where he has actually made mistakes and can improve but also being able to pick out the things he has done well and be proud of those things. 
Overall I don’t think any drivers should have to put up with the amount of hate that they have to put up with but Lando is not the only one to receive hate and, dare I say it, I don’t even think it has been as vicious as some of the things I have seen over the years. Social media is toxic and people should be more mindful and realise these are real people - all of them!! 
Also, once again lets be thankful that nobody was seriously hurt over the weekend and lets hope the Fia take steps to act more swiftly when safety cars and red flags are needed and that they put safety above other concerns.
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Hi Sam! I'm a Temple Administrator for a Reform Synagogue on the East Coast-- I don't want to get too specific online, but we're not located in the greater New York/Connecticut/New Jersey area, though we have a large number of members from that area. As such, our traditions are generally Ashkenazic in origin, though we'll try anything at least once.
The prayer book we use is the Mishkan T'filah, which is meant for a wide range of familiarity/skill with Prayer Hebrew (as opposed to Modern/Conversational Hebrew), and therefore has Hebrew (with vowels!), transliteration, and translation, as well as interpretations of prayers for alternative reading during services AND commentary in footnotes! It's published by the Central Conference of American Rabbis and is the preferred siddur for the Union for Reform Judaism. It has several editions for various uses (we get the non-transliterated version for our b'nei mitzvah students, to encourage the growth of their Hebrew skills during their b'nei mitzvah tutoring period), and also has a Kindle edition! It's currently listed at $19.99 on Amazon.
I'm also a Hebrew teacher in my synagogue's religious school and have been for at least 8 years, and have been a b'nei mitzvah tutor for the last two, and have taught students to go from Aleph-Bet and vowel basics to singing prayers (my next b'nei mitzvah student has spent the last couple of years doing just that!). With this in mind, may I suggest exploring Behrman House? We get about 90% of our religious school Hebrew materials from them, and they have Hebrew learning materials for all ages. I'm using the Ten-Minute Hebrew Reader (Revised Edition) in my Intermediate Level Hebrew Class (knows letters and vowels and can decode, but needs practice before tackling prayers), and while it's written for 4th-6th graders, it's a great book of short little decoding exercises that I will recommend to everyone, regardless of age. (Some of the things that the exercises ask you to do are a little silly, but they make the tedium of practicing decoding fun!) There's also a series of Hebrew primers written for adults called Alef Isn't Tough that our Adult Hebrew teacher uses in her classes. Lastly, I've developed/am developing a few materials of my own that I will be happy to share-- mostly powerpoints about the Aleph-Bet and the silent vowel (שווה, shva) and English words transliterated into Hebrew for decoding practice, as well as a vowel pronunciation guide and a little poster about a funny thing the letter chet (ח) does under specific circumstances.
I apologize if any of this is repeat information for you and also for the length of this reblog, I nerd out about Hebrew learning (do not ask me about Torah cantillation or we'll be here all day)! PM me if you're interested in my homemade materials, I'll be happy to send you copies. (After I clean the decoding practice ones up-- my students have been great about pointing out typos and spelling mistakes!)
Shana tova! I was thinking about you during services today when I too was tearing up at the prayers and the sound of the shofar. Wishing you well on your journey. Regardless of if you convert, I hope you are able to find home and solace in the beauty of Judaism
Aw, thank you! Sorry this response is so very late, I'm digging through my backlog and it's...large. But I hope your high holidays were both sweet and meaningful, and glad you thought of me!
I'm slowly working towards gaining more of the knowledge I need -- I'm strong on the theology and culture but a bit weak on the actual prayer and ritual, and I could use more history. But, as I've said before, Judaism's been around for thousands of years; it'll be there when I get there. :)
I've made peace with the fact that written Hebrew will probably always be beyond my ability to learn, so I'm working towards learning the transliteration pronunciation and memorization instead. It's shockingly difficult to find a digital siddur that has Hebrew, transliteration, and translation, but I've got a line on some print versions.
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puppy-phum · 3 days ago
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Pit Babe Characters x Cartomancy ➣ Part 6: Pete & Way
King of Diamonds: A person with great wealth and power. Often skilled in various areas, a jack of all trades. Ten of Spades: A card of misfortune and tragic endings. Reveals secrets, obsessions, and lies.
for @pitbabeanniversary week 6 prompts: pete & way
(more thoughts under the cut!)
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disclaimer: i am not an expert in either cartomancy or tarot reading. i did a lot of research on these two sites to come up with these cards for the characters. some of the meanings associated with the cards are still only my own interpretation, so they might not be completely accurate.
pete and way are the last pair in this series and i have to say that it feels fitting. they are the pair with no ending, the pair left the most incomplete in season 1. way dies for redemption (which is stupid imo) before he's able to ever open up to pete and his attempts to get closer to way. pete is only left with a grave, yet nothing seems to end. (pls s2 come quicker, i need way to have his glorious back from the dead -moment already!)
pete: just like alan, i think pete's card is very obvious and so, very cliché. he's the king of diamonds through and through, the person often associated with money and power. he's very proud of what he's accomplished in life, yet always thrives to be more, to be bigger, better, more powerful. he's in a war against his adoptive father in the only way he knows how, and so he must always be on the rise. he has no chance of letting loose, and i think we all can agree that he works way too much and rests too little. he is often stuck being not quite himself, lonely at the top. it must be hard when we can see that beneath the business persona, pete is horribly warm.
this is why king of diamonds is also described as charitable, generous, and reliable. once again, pete is a lot like alan, but where alan offers his heart, pete offers resources: money, connections, and his skills. he's tried his best to become invincible in every way just like his adoptive father seems to be. he's great in socializing, in doing business, even in combat and tactics. he's driven by his wish to help, and i guess that often ties to his compassion and understanding. that's why he hasn't given up on kenta and that's why he instantly reaches out for way, too. pete might not be able to provide a family in the way alan does, but pete is able to reach out a helping hand. he can offer a place to stay for those who have nowhere else to go and no one else to listen to them. he cares, and just like with work, it's sometimes too much. he does not get a break from it.
way: it was easy to decide that spades was way's suit; a little later, i decided on number ten. i was first thinking about ace of spades bc it's the death card of the deck, but i did not want to make way only about his death when it's the thing i dislike about his character so much. so, i decided on ten bc of the "tragic ending", which is not way's death, even if it kind of is. i think the true tragic ending comes for him earlier; with the reveal of his betrayal that causes him to lose everything he's ever had. he loses his pack, his family, his home; he loses himself, and all his self-worth, and worst of all, babe. bc he does love babe, even if it's in all the wrong ways. way has tried his best, has tried to do what he thought was right, and in the end, it is not enough to solve anything or save babe. (and so he must die, but let's ignore that.)
in a sense, the reveal of that betrayal is both the end and a beginning for way. after it's it's a way for him to be born again. he can give up on all the lies, all the acting and pretending. he's used so much time and effort keeping up his web of lies he must be exhausted by now. how many times did he almost trip? how many times did he forget what lies he'd told and had to come up with new ones, or had to use his powers to fix his mistakes? now, there's no longer need for any of that. he can finally breathe freely. no more lies, no more acting, no more being someone else. everything is out in the open and it must be terrifying bc the ppl who loved him before, would they reject this real version of him? even if they were not this hurt, didn't hate him, would they still not want way? what if tony is right and there's nothing to love about him? i don't know but i hate that the series never let way find out. but well, in season 2 we trust, i suppose. i have hopes and dreams about it <3
but based on these thoughts, it's easy to see why pete and way would work together. way is the master of deception, of lies and acting. pete is able to read people, literally and figuratively. there's no hiding from him and his touch, and i think in some ways, way needs exactly that. he needs someone to understand him without words, or to look into his head and put his thoughts into words for him. pete again needs someone he can trust with his softer side, which i also find interesting about him: he is so ready to offer his heart to way even after knowing who way is and what his powers can do. pete seems like a paradox in that sense, always keeping everyone and everything at a distance (or so i assume), yet being so ready to believe in ppl and offer them trust he's seen so easily broken.
there are also some other interesting connections to this pair i wanted to mention. the funniest coincidence imo is that babe's card is about new beginnings, while way's card is now about tragic or bad endings. also, charlie's card being the exact half of way's (5 and 10) seems to have some kind of story behind it. pete again has the same suit as kenta, both their cards in the royal family, and i think that's exactly why they work and don't work together. pete is exactly like the king, the one on top and in control, while kenta is the knight, the person who serves and follows. they're both calm in personality, tho am not sure if it's exactly who they are or if it's who they were forced to become. i wonder what could've been if kenta had left with pete – or if they'd never been taken by tony at all and had grown up like other kids.
this edit concludes my musings for all these characters. it's been a joy to make these and ponder on these boys, and honestly, i feel like i've found a completely new love and appreciation for all of them. thank you for all who have liked these edits and happy anniversary to the vroom vroom omegaverse bl, you've been stellar ♥ never thought i'd come back to you in a year but here we are, have my whole heart!
(idk if i'll make an edit for the last week, so also adding that i enjoyed the event a ton! it's been fun going to the tag and seeing everybody talk about the series again. looking forward to s2 and the anniversary stage live in less than two weeks ^^)
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howlingday · 3 days ago
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The Smartest Man in the Room
Jaune: ...Dr. Watts, I have a puzzle for you.
Watts: Oh?
Jaune: You see, Man A wants to kill Man B.
Watts: And what am I told?
Jaune: It's a minimum information puzzle, sir. The two men are in a room, sir. Like this one. Lots of people are downstairs. Man A, the killer, plans to use a gun.
Watts: Then the shot would be heard.
Jaune: Man A uses a silencer.
Watts: He would also need to dispose of the gun.
Jaune: He would have to hide the gun, so that's why he uses an umbrella.
Watts: ...
Jaune: May I see your umbrella, Dr. Watts?
Watts: Using an umbrella to hide a gun? Hah! How ridiculously pedestrian! But, if that is what you wish, you may see it. In fact, you could even use your gun.
Jaune: Oh, I don't have a gun, sir. Never did. But Man A uses the gun.
Watts: With a silencer, yes, yes. (Chuckles, Presents umbrella)
Jaune: You see, sir, Man A, the killer, plans to hide the gun in the umbrella and then hide the umbrella in the chimney.
Watts: Ah, but there would be soot on the umbrella.
Jaune: Of course, sir! There would be soot! And, also, there's a secondary use of the umbrella. (Pulls out object) These are like loud firecrackers. My very good friend, Yang, introduced them to me. She says they're called squibs. Now, Man A intends to use these squibs to simulate gunfire after the body has already been shot.
Watts: Correct me if I'm wrong, Mr. Arc, but aren't these squibs known to leave behind paper trails after detonating? The killer would surely be caught!
Jaune: Yes, sir, which is why he intends to use the umbrella to catch the squibs inside!
Watts: (Smirks) Quite ingenious, but if these are firecrackers, as you say, then wouldn't they leave burns? Scorch marks? And, as you can see, this umbrella is perfectly unmarred.
Jaune: You're absolutely right, sir, but let's suppose the killer, Man A, had a different umbrella? (Snaps fingers) Ah! I forgot to tell you, sir! Last night, while I was in your office, I took the wrong umbrella. (Steps away) Excuse me, sir. Just one moment. (Moves, Returns with another umbrella)
Watts: ...
Jaune: I grabbed yours on accident. It was an honest mistake, really. And, as you know, we can't gather evidence like this. But, since I had it, I figured I'd get the testing done, and the lab found burns from the squibs, sir. Oh, and a lot of soot, sir.
Watts: ...I see. But I do have one question, Mr. Arc; how were these squibs detonated?
Jaune: Ah, see, Man A is a man of superbly impressive intellect~! Watch! I'll put the squibs inside the umbrella and we'll pretend that my scroll is the gun. (Folds umbrella) Now, when Man A, the killer, puts this up the chimney...
Watts: (Rolls eyes) You can't be serious...
Jaune: Oh, I am, sir! I am very serious! And now that the umbrella is up the chimaney...
Watts: (Chuckles)
Jaune: (Pulls out cables) Now, these wires are attached to a battery, sir, and they're connected to the same kind of squibs. Just hook these up into the umbrella and... (Connects) ...then we hook this other end over here to the record player. Press play and... (Music plays) attach the wires here and here. (Speaks loudly) Where I showed you the scratches, sir!
Watts: Ha! Nonsense!
Jaune: Now, the killer knows when the track will end.
Watts: Yes, yes, get on with it.
Jaune: The arm thing will hit here, making the first squib go off, and then here for the second.
Watts: Aha! But the body fell BETWEEN the two shots!
Jaune: Yes, sir, which is where the killer has to take a VERY big chance with this big book of words.
Watts: The dictionary?
Jaune: Yes, there's a line right here, and we can balance it on the edge of the table here. (Sets book) Like this!
Watts: (Music gets faster) Clever, but too unpredictable!.
Jaune: But important for the illusion.
Watts: For the sound of the body falling?.
Jaune: Exactly, sir!.
Watts: Impossible to time!.
Jaune: But this killer is very smart, sir.
Watts: Can he make the book fall between the two shots?!.
Jaune: Yes, sir.
Watts: How?!.
Jaune: I'll show you.
Watts: He would have to be a genius!.
Jaune: I think so, too, sir, but I don't want to imply that I came up with this all by myself. After all, the smartest people in the world are right here in this club, and, oh, they helped me a lot, sir.
Watts: Haha! Dunces! The lot of them!.
Jaune: You wouldn't call Dr. Poledina a dunce, would you?.
Watts: Hoho! Wouldn't I?!.
Jaune: (Music blaring) WELL, IT WAS HIS IDEA, SIR! THE BOOK! THE VIBRATIONS!.
Watts: VIBRATIONS?! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!.
Jaune: THE FIRST SQUIB, SIR! HE MADE IT SOUND VERY SIMPLE! WHEN THE SQUIB GOES OFF, IT CAUSES A VIBRATION THAT KNOCKS THE BOOK DOWN! WHY, DOCTOR POLEDINA IS A VERITABLE GENIUS!.
Watts: (Visibly shaking) VIBRATIONS?! THAT FAT IMBECILE! ALL HE'S DONE IS MADE HIMSELF TO BE A BUMBLING ASS! NO!. (Grabs marker, Sets by record) THIS IS WHAT HE WOULD'VE DONE!. (Music stops) THIS!.
BANG! THUMP! BANG!
Watts: THERE! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA~! THERE~!
Jaune: (Smiles)
Watts: (Beaming smile of triumph)
Jaune: ....
Watts: (Smile fades to look of horror) Oh my...
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magalidragon · 2 days ago
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🏒 the deal 🎶 | “Sometimes people sneak up on you and suddenly you don't know how you ever lived without them.”
HAPPY BIRTHDAY @youwerenevermine! 🥳🥰😘🤗🎂🎈🎊🎁 Okay fine whatever so I am a few hours your time early, but I was so excited to share and honestly, the world is going to end soon and I wanted to get ahead of the game. I went back and forth over what to do for you and couldn’t decide so went with this. The original hockey boyfriend Mr. Garrett Graham and sassy Hannah Wells! It is Jonerys meets THE DEAL! I hope you like it! So grateful to this fandom for introducing me to you! Love you bby! 😘
There was a very strong possibility Jon Snow had made a terrible mistake making this deal with Daenerys Targaryen. He figured it was easy enough; she was a smarty pants and could help him get his grade up in what was supposed to be an "easy A" philosophy class and keep him from getting benched. In doing so, he'd pretend to date her and the guy she had a crush on-- fucking Robb, his own damn cousin-- would see her as a bit more than weird silver-haired purple-eyed Dany and want to ask her out. Since Robb wanted anything he couldn't have-- particularly if Jon had it first.
Now he was watching Robb openly flirt with her and was squeezing his beer bottle so hard he figured he'd be benched not for his shitty philosophy grade but for having to get stitches in his stick hand. It was supposed to be an easy quid-pro-quo. A deal. Started off more annoying than anything else-- Dany could not have cared one single snowflake that he was Queen Alysanne University's star left winger and frequently let him know it. He honestly appreciated it, even if he had to really wear her down, chasing her all over Winterfell to get her to concede.
That had honestly been fun. Then there were their random long conversations after studying. Topics ranged from the best pizza toppings-- pepperoni and more pepperoni for him, while she saw nothing wrong with pineapple on her pizza-- to the best Marvel movie-- he didn't mind that movie about 'The Eternals' while she thought it sucked and liked 'Ant Man' more, all the way over to which House of Commons member should win the two highly competitive ridings near Winterfell or who really won the War of Five Kings?
He also had admitted to her some things he'd never shared with anyone. That he might be the aloof "Ice Man" of QAU hockey who could get any girl he wanted, he actually played that image outside of his truly private life. In reality he just couldn't think of girls, he was too busy trying to do his best to keep his grades up to get a very difficult degree in metallurgy and cultural anthropology while also making sure he didn't lose his rookie contract with the Winterfell Wolves professional hockey team.
Just like he knew all she wanted was to get the bonus money from the School of Drama and Music's winter showcase to help with her mother's medical bills, back in Pentos. That her dream was to sing on stage at the King's Landing Opera House.
All of that swam in his head, those conversations and late nights, sitting out in the quad on a blanket while she quizzed him on long dead Maesters, or that time she'd come to one of his games and he'd scored a hat trick, so she ahd to come to every singel one afterward.
He had done his job; he talked her up to Robb. He lingered in the living room of his and Robb's shared house when they would talk, just in case there needed to be extra prodding. Now they were on a bloody, fucking date.
"Jon, buddy, let go of the beer. The beer didn't do anything to you. Come on man, there you go." His friend and other roommate, Satin, carefully pried his fingers off the glass neck, moving the bottle to the oak bartop. "Alright, so when are you going to tell her?"
"Huh?" He was now glaring at the back of Robb's stupid auburn head, wondering if he could cut off those fucking curls while he was sleeping and blame their fourth roommate Theon. "Tell her what?"
"That you're in love with her, you dipshit."
Thank the gods he wasn't holding the beer bottle because he'd have definitely dropped it. He also was glad he didn't have any beer in his mouth, because that would have been sputtered everywhere as he gaped at Satin, who was now studying his fingernails nonchalantly. "Wha...what...I'm not....she's a friend! She wasn't just a friend, she was...Dany.
Dany, whose first words to him were: "I'm sorry do I know you?"
Dany, who always tied her long silver braids up on her head in a knot using pencils. Who hummed random song llyrics and chords and scribbled them on ltitle pieces of paper. Who had a voice that sounded like fucking angels from teh rafters. Who snorted and cackled when she laughed. Who called him "Wolf Man" instead of "Ice Man" because he had a wolf back home and one tattooed on his arm.
Dany....Dany who always smelled like lemons and lavender and who...
He blinked. It was like seeing everything under a different filter. Brighter. Across the bar, he watched Dany laugh at something Robb said, but it didn’t meet her eyes. She was playing with the silver guitar pick she used, something he had learned was a nervous habit. Her eyes— vibrant, happy lavender— did not fully meet his, but he knew she had glanced his way.
Gods. Was he in love with her? Was that what this feeling was? He couldn’t love her. He had to focus on hockey and studying and…it was just easier to keep that other side of him out there. If Jon Snow actually found a girl…a music major who didn’t know a deke from a slapshot and thought there were quarters not periods…he’d never hear the end of it.
He didn’t care. He didn’t want her with Robb. “And why is that?” Satin asked.
Fuck he said that out loud? “Because she’s mine,” he snapped. He paused. “No she is her own person of course I don’t own her obviously but…” He drained the beer bottle. This was one thing Robb was not going to steal from him. He stomped over to their table and didn’t even wait for his cousin to say anything before he glanced at Dany. “Get your coat, we still have to finish that Agatha show.”
She cocked her head up, confused. “Jon what…”
“Come on.”
“Jon,” Robb began, but he didn’t even have time to finish. Jon grabbed Dany’s hand, tugging her away and towards the back corridor. “What the seven hells Jon!”
If she wanted to fight him, she could. He’d let her anyway. Dany did not pull very hard and protested over Robb’s loud complaining. “Jon seriously what the fuck are you doing?!” She pushed at his chest when he tugged them into the stairwell that led up to the bar manager office, the dim lighting throwing her face in relief. She was fuming. She was a dragon, he expected it. “What was that!?”
“I want to see something.” He didn’t wait for a response. He had to do this. So he crashed his mouth down over hers.
The shock had her gasping, lips parting under his. Soft, plump, perfect lips, and he pressed gently, his hands dropping to her small waist to hold her upright against the wall. She had her hand on his shoulder and for a second he didn’t think she was going to kiss back and made to pull away, apology at the ready, knowing he had fucked this up completely.
Until her hands dove into his hair and she opened her mouth wider, moaning and pulling him to her. He groaned, desperate now, a man who had his first taste of water after wandering a desert, and cupped her jaw, angling her head so he could rise over her, sliding his tongue along hers. Gods. She tasted like strawberries. How!? One of life’s mysteries, he supposed.
The need for air separated them, their breathing ragged and foreheads touching, noses brushing. Her gaze lifted, meeting his. “I take it you don’t think I should see Robb?”
He shook his head, whispering, “Come home with me. I’ll make you a deal.”
“And what’s that?”
He kissed her again, nipping her bottom lip. Her breasts were pressed to his chest and his knee had wedged itself between hers. They were about ten seconds away from a public indecency charge. His voice dropped, gravelly. “You come home with me and I’ll make you come within ten minutes. Five, even.”
Her cheeks flushed pink. “And what do you get out of this deal?” she asked.
He pretended to think, before flashing a grin. “The knowledge I made you come. Oh and, our next movie night you don’t wear underwear.”
She smirked now. “I am not one of your puck bunnies.”
“And you know I don’t do puck bunnies.”
After a second, she barely nodded. “Alright. Let’s see what you’ve got Wolf Man.”
“So it’s a deal then Targy?” She hated that nickname. The glare she shot him had him grinning.
She pulled at his hand, towards the back exit. “It’s a deal.”
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yoyomomiko · 3 days ago
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Can I request jealous Daisuke hcs?? Maybe even the other way around where the reader is jealous :D!!! I LOVE your hcs for Daisuke!!
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Pairings: Daisuke x F!reader (gender not mentioned, but that's what I had in mind while writing this)
Warnings: cringe, the SMALLEST mention of marking, not proofread, probably contains grammar mistakes, english isn't my first language!!
(A/N): TYSMMMM🙌 The way you READ MY MIND because I've been thinking of doing Daisuke jealousy headcanons for some time now, I just kinda waited for the perfect opportunity😋 Also I'm so sorry this is a bit boring and kinda short, I wanted it to be longer😔 -> m.list
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★HE'S JEALOUS
Alright so I feel like Daisuke would be more quiet when jealous. He's gonna feel insecure and upset.
BUT, I feel like he can also be very loud or simply show the fact that he's jealous.
I mean he'd throw his hand around your waist, kiss you and make it known that you're his.
"Whatcha talking about?" "This is one of my old friends, we just wanted to catch up." "Yeah, very fun, babe, but didn't you say we're gonna be late?"
Please, REASSURE THIS MAN that you love him and ONLY him.
Make sure to praise him too😔
His confidence might get a bit ruined, and probably feel dull the rest of the day, still the same Daisuke, just a bit less happy.
SO THAT'S WHY YOU NEED TO ASSURE HIM THAT YOU'RE HIS AND HE'S YOURS‼️
You can literally do anything to give him a boost, buy him ice cream and he's gonna forgive you (you didn't do anything wrong but whatevs🙄)
Btw he's into marking just to throw that out there
★YOU'RE JEALOUS
Daisuke's gonna find this a bit amusing, probably is gonna tease you the rest of the day.
If you're not having it, he's gonna apologize PROFUSELY.
Imagine you don't forgive him tho like he's gonna feel so bad and guilty (who WOULDN'T forgive him)
He's talking to a random stranger, giving them directions, although he's smiling a bit too much their way, and he's also a little too close to them.
The moment they're done talking you cross your arms and ignore him, or you can just express yourself😢
"What's with the face?" "Nothing." "Wait, don't tell me you're jealous..." "Maybe I am, maybe I'm not." "No way! Are you seriously jealous? You know I love you!"
He WILL be laughing at first, just to let you know.
Daisuke also WILL reassure you, the moment you get back home or whatever he's gonna be all over you, kissing you and whispering whatever sweet stuff comes up in his mind.
He understands the feeling, and doesn't want you to be upset or mad, especially at him.
He's SO gonna brighten up your mood, with anything you want. He's probably gonna buy you something as an apology, even if he didn't do anything😢
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★yoyomiko ★miko
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eisforeidolon · 2 days ago
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Question: I have two questions, one for Jensen, and one for both of you.
Jared: Okay. So no Jared question? That's fine.
Jensen: Nope.
Question: First for Jensen, I need to know the story behind this picture, please? [both walk over to look, Jensen mutters something like 'Oh, God']
Jensen: I honestly don't know the story behind that picture. I don't know A) what I'm doing, I'm like sitting in a cast chair and I'm just like pulling my shirt up [mimes the pose]. And I don't -
Jared: If you got it, flaunt it.
Jensen: I don't. Uh, I don't know, I don't know what I would have - I don't even know who took that photo. Or how it got out, but - or why. This is - um.
Jared: I think, I think, here's why -
Jensen: I might have been getting mic'd?
Jared: Yeah, probably.
Jensen: Cause they, when they wire us, when they put the microphones on us, they tape it [tapping center of his chest] to your chest - I mean, there's a few ways they can do it, sometimes they'll wire the jacket, sometimes they'll put it, if you're wearing a tie, they'll put it in the knot of the tie. If you've got a sharp eye, sometimes you can see 'em. But most of the time they'll just tape it to your chest and then the wire kind of goes [gestures down his chest and around to his back] around [points downward] sometimes it goes to an ankle pack, sometimes it clips onto the back of your belt. Anyway. I was probably just going like, [gestures as if pulling up his shirt] okay, wire me. And the person who wires has to put up with that kind of - the shenanigans that we do when we're like [does the fake laugh thing, and shakes back and forth].
Jared: Also, in fairness, I think that was like season one or two? And so twenty years ago, we didn't realize, we were slow, we were not the generation where everything you do lasts forever? And so it's like [fake laugh, pops hip, makes fart noise] Ahh, I'm farting, and it exists twenty fucking years later, so. Naivety on both of our parts, I think.
Jensen: So I don't know if that answers your question, but that's the best I can come up with, so. What was the other question that he might help with anyway?
Question: Both of you, do you feel any pressure from the fans to show that you're still close friends? When you search on Google 'Jensen and Jared' there is the first question that pops there is 'Are they still friends?'. And whatever happens between you two, people just watching, waiting, like are you still close or not -
Jared: So I think, so -
Question: You have this pressure to show that you're still close -
Jensen: It's exhausting.
Jared: [grabs his shoulder] Wow.
Jensen: I'm so glad you brought this up. [turns to Jared] I am, I am exhausted pretending to be your friend -
Jared: That's actually my, that's actually my question that I put into the Google search. I'm like -
Jensen: [cracks up] I haven't heard from him in weeks!
Jared: I haven't heard from Jensen in two days [mimics typing] are they still friends? Does he still like me, circle yes or no? [Jensen cracks up more] I don't feel - I'll speak for myself - I don't feel any pressure to [finger quotes] prove that I'm friends with Jensen or my br- or anybody, you know what I mean? Like, life - we have lives, and we live in different states and, like, if I see him every day for a month, great! If I don't see him for seven months, great! Like if he's good or needs something, or I need something - but yeah, I do find that question funny. And I think it's also, I think it's like, from, was it French Mistake, or? It was like, episode, yeah I did see something online where they're like, 'oh, they're talking'. It's French Mistake.
Jensen: Oh! Yeah yeah yeah.
Jared: And then it became a thing, where they were like -
Jensen: Oh, is that real? Do [they?] not like each other? Yeah.
Jared: We also fucking - I have an alpaca! [Jensen cracks up again] Like, no one hinged on that, like does Jared really have a picture of himself in Warhol style and his wife and a tanning bed and an alpaca at his house? Like no, I don't.
Jensen: You're not far off, though. [laughs]
Jared: Close, close. Got one out of four.
Jensen: Yeah, no. I think there's also - [points at Jared] you kind of touched on it a little bit. You know, I think anybody who can just see us together whether we're onstage or whether we're back stage? Can tell that there's a, you know, legit love for each other. And always will be. Whether - like he said - whether we see each other every day for six weeks or whether we go six weeks without seeing each other. Or without even, like, checking in. Which, we usually text back and forth and stuff, just, you know, about hey, what d'you think - what're you doing with this, or hey I need to ask you a question -
Jared: We have a Wordle text thread.
Jensen: [they talk over each other here, so this next is approximate] Yeah, we Wordle each other every day. Um, so, that would be pretty, again, pretty exhausting to keep that [finger quotes] facade up, if it was a facade and it's not.
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