#if there are any other trans characters in the got universe than tell me

[keepingupwiththeboltons]

Hey i literally havent seen anyone say this but is sharako lohar our first trans character in got/hotd???

[sigmaleph]

So the other day I finished When I Win the World Ends

--

A couple months back, my wife recommended me a pokemon fanfic. It was not When I Win; it's called Ghost Town and it's about a young trans woman returning home and coming out to her family while simultaneously finding out her closest childhood friend has been murdered. It's beautiful, definitely the most moving piece of writing i've read this year, and also entirely unlike WIW except that both are, nominally, set in 'the pokemon universe'.

These two works are not remotely set in the same universe. Their settings are entirely different, the result of two different people taking the thing we are presented with in the pokemon video game series and asking 'OK, but what does this world actually look like?' and coming to very different answers, because it turns out that setting is not really pinned down much by the games.

Are there animals beyond human and pokemon in the world? In WIW, the answer is no, except perhaps in some parallel universe like where the Ultra Beasts come from. In GT, the answer is yes; when the pokedex calls wingull the seagull pokemon, this is because there are actual seagulls in the world for comparison.

What's the deal with all the game-like elements of pokemon battling, like taking turns and pokemon only being able to use four moves and so on? In WIW, this is a competitive ruleset; pokemon battling is a highly regulated sport, and pokemon act in turns because their trainers specifically train them to wait between moves. In GT, this is just not a thing; 'pokemon only know four moves' is an abstraction made for game design concerns, the same way the game present us with a location with three building and tells us this is a town. The 'real' Pallet Town has more people and buildings than that, and 'real' pokemon don't act like characters in a turn-based RPG.

I could go on further but I will not; you get the point. The games present us with broad strokes of a world, but it is not a world that really holds together very much; it is not a series interested in worldbuilding. Game Freak doesn't go into the question of what is the geopolitical relationship between Johto and Kanto, or what does a culture where ten-year-olds are allowed to go out on their own into the world accompanied by monsters look like, or what the hell is Cinnabar volcano burger made out of, and this leaves room for fanfic writers to step in with their own answers to these questions.

I spend a lot of time pondering these questions, perhaps more than I should, and while there are boring answers one could give sometimes writers come up with genuinely fascinating takes on it, trying to weave them together into a world that holds together while at the same time resembling a beloved video game series that cannot decide if America is real or not.

So when I finished Ghost Town and most of the other works by the same author I saw a number of people in my dash talking about this other pokemon fanfic, and it did not disappoint despite being so different and having a tragic lack of explicit trans lesbians.

I've never been much into competitive pokemon battling despite playing the actual games themselves on and off for most of my life, but the angle on that in WIW really does work as a central focus (even if it does, unforgivably, get Umbreon's ability wrong). The one thing in it that still sits oddly with me is that I cannot really get a handle on what Cely's deal is. She's not psychic, apparently (the public perception of psychics in the pokemon universe is yet another of those things WIW and GT have different opinions on). She's not some kind of fated RISE messiah, because RISE is just a cult and doesn't have any deeper insights into the nature of reality. Is she just lucky? Are we just happening to observe the one particular timeline where she got all her predictions right for no reason in particular, or was it perhaps necessary that Cely get all her calls right for us to see an outcome where the world doesn't end, anthropic-reasoning-style? If there is an answer I was supposed to get from the story, I didn't

But that's quibbles. It's an excellent work, I loved it, i'm very glad I was following people who'd talk about it often enough I gave it a shot. This is not really a review of it, though, or of Ghost Town. This is just my excuse to talk about pokemon worldbuilding and namedrop the cinnabar volcano burger.

[orbleglorb]

tumblr in the blaseball universe, part 11!

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 | part 8 | part 9 | part 10

credit to @wayslidecool for the last one

image descriptions: the first image is a thick black bar meant to separate posts. the second image is a thin gray bar meant to separate reblogs. they are used continuously throughout the post when appropriate. like right now

🌧 neerie-mccloud-tracker 🔁

💥 maximalistwgaragesbandtracker Follow

man i give up.

332 notes

☕️ eyesinthedark11 🔁

☕️ eyesinthedark11

hey guys my sister made a tumblr account but won't tell me the url because she thinks i'll torment her (she's right of course). if any of you happen to stumble across a psychonauts fan account run by someone named lucy please let me know

☕️ eyesinthedark11

wait fuck i forgot that lucy is the name of a very important and emotionally poignant character in the psychonauts universe. post cancelled half the trans girls in the fandom probably have that name

🏞 lucreciamuxtopus

Actually this is my personal blog. Fuck you

☕️ eyesinthedark11

bitch i have been with you since the womb i know u can't go longer than a minute without talking about razputin aquato

🏞 lucreciamuxtopus

They took his brain once

13 notes

🦞 marketplace-shellfish 🔁

🌉 just-sanfran-things Follow

Hey guys, really sorry about disappearing, I had a probably-Meatcute-adjacent emergency and then forgot my tumblr password and every time I tried to set up a new password it redirected me to their FAQ?? Anyway, I'm back! In my time gone I got engaged.

527 notes

🦆 peripheral-duck 🔁

🦆 peripheral-duck

dawg i hate being a lesbian in moab. i've dated all but two of the other sapphics here and one of them is nagomi nava

🌘 gogomi-gava Follow

ok and? doesnt mean im off limits

🦆 peripheral-duck 🔁

so was literally anyone going to tell me that nagomi nava has a tumblr account

639 notes

🌧 neerie-mccloud-tracker

Elsewhere

24 notes

🌺 bloom-goes-the-dynamite 🔁

🧫 BIGGRACK Follow

why does no one else eat the muffin wrapper? it's so much easier than pulling it off and it tastes fine. it doesn't interfere with the muffin taste at all and it has a good texture

🍂 caffeinepunk Follow

how did you get your username in all caps?

🌵 twistedsandwich Follow

really? that's the problem you have with this post?

86,592 notes

[gold-snek-hoe]

Hello and welcome to Opinions from an Internet Nobody. Today's essay:

"Ger therapy" is the new "You need Jesus": One Weirdo's Navigation through Cultural Shame

This is a supposedly well-meaning sentiment that is often weaponized against people who are behaving outside of perceived cultural norms. It's a favorite of homophobes who see queerness/transness as a mental illness, but I've been seeing it used to demonize kink (which historically is often linked to queerness), and more generally any "weird" behavior that makes people uncomfortable.

For example, otherkin, systems (especially those with fictives), and people who take fictional characters as partners. Y'know, "weirdos" who "can't separate reality from fiction." And, sure, sometimes there can be a problem with that distinction, but I know as well as you that most internet strangers saying "get therapy" don't actually give a shit about the mental health of those they target. It's code for "your behavior makes me uncomfortable, stop it."

Same sentiment as "you need Jesus."

This has actually taken me a long time to figure out. I've been in therapy for my entire adult life, working through various traumas, severe depression, anxiety, all that. Those were the biggest problems as they negatively impacted, and often endangered, my life. It was only after my hospitalization in 2020, where I was finally put on much needed medication, that I could start to grow into myself.

I changed my name. I top surgery. I came out as polyamorous. I finally got my official autism diagnosis. Now I'm fuckin' married! But... there are still things I'm working through in therapy. Mainly, shame over my "weirder" behaviors. My current therapist has been a huge blessing in helping me accept the things I was too ashamed to admit.

Now, I feel comfortable enough to share.

I'm otherkin. Always have been. My connection to my humanity is tenuous, and I'm sure that's connected to my autism. When mad, I feel phantom horns sprouting from my forehead. I have a tail that swishes back and forth at the base of my spine. In my soul, I am monstrous, and years of therapy has not erased that.

I feel like I'm only half in the physical world most of the time. This doesn't hinder my real-world success (I graduated college Summa Cum Laude, have an IMDB page, and am on my third book), but informs the way I look at the world. There's a whole other universe in my head that hums along with me in my day-to-day. That's part of why I'm so skilled as a writer. To ask me to divorce from that is to tell me to stop existing. Sorry, it's how I've always operated.

Lastly, and this is the one I'm really anxious about, I have a fictional husband. Now, looking at my blog, you might say "yeah, no shit," but I don't just ship myself with him. I mean I practice pop-culture Witchcraft, and the Goblin King is my patron. I mean I have a Labyrinth-themed tarot deck that I talk to him with. I mean I held a ritual to spiritually marry him. Basically, I Snape-wived myself.

And guess what? My therapist isn't concerned. It's not hurting my ability to live my life. I have other interests, hobbies, and goals outside of him, which he actively encourages in all our tarot sessions! I wouldn't be doing this if he didn't support me. My IRL spouse is usually there for whatever magical shit I'm doing, and supports me! Some of my closest friends know, and the only complaint I've gotten is "this guy seems important to you, I wish you told me sooner." Hell, my MOTHER knows and supports me, which is huge, because our relationship was pretty damaged after I came out as trans.

If you have a problem with the way I live my life, when literally nobody else does, take a good long look at why. You don't give a fuck about my mental health. You just don't like that I'm weird.

Tl;dr: My mental health is better than it's ever been since embracing the weird, so leave me and my imaginary husband Marak Sixfinger alone.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

The 20 Best Films of 2024 (And the 10 Worst)

I fucking love movies.

Most people following me know that on some level, but I haven’t really showcased that love in a long while. Over the past couple of years I felt really drained and unmotivated, and my review series I did all petered out. And it made me sad. I WANT to share my opinions, I WANT to talk about things I’m passionate about! So I decided about halfway through 2024 I was going to do something big to bring my blog back: Watch as many new releases from 2024 as possible so that I could make an end of year ranking of my favorite movies!

Since I decided to do this halfway through the year, it made watching the films I actually wanted to see fairly easy since everything was able to be pira—er, watched completely legally on various streaming platforms. Max and Prime were big helps, as was Netflix towards the end of the year when my wife got it for her yearly month-long binge of Christmas films. My only rule was that the film needed to have a wide release in 2024—a few films had festival screenings in previous years, but I counted them for the purposes of my list. This also, sadly, meant Better Man and Wallace & Gromit were ineligible (but they’ll likely be ion my 2025 list near the top).

I gave myself a little leeway and extended my deadline to mid January just so I could make sure I didn’t miss anything I really wanted to see, as well as so I could watch movies from other years. I managed to watch 77 newly released films, and while I didn’t get to see everything I wanted to I was incredibly happy with what I did see.

This was a really good year for queer films and horror. For the former, I watched four different movies with queer themes with three of them focusing on trans folks, and of those four three were extremely good! In fact, two of them made this list, and one that didn’t—The People’s Joker—is still a fantastic work that puts a fresh spin on well-worn characters while telling a coming-of-age story! With the latter, we just got some truly fun and inventive films that showcased what the genre can do in the hands of skilled filmmakers; even more flawed horror films like Late Night with the Devil and Alien: Romulus were still really good and fun, albeit held back by some glaring and often frustrating issues (CGI necromancy for the latter, AI generated image use and a shitty finale for the former).

Surprisingly, this was also a decent year for superhero cinematic universes, mainly because they all slowed the fuck down. Marvel released a single film—Deadpool & Wolverine—which managed to be a fun crowd-pleaser as well as releasing the wonderfully witchy Agatha All Along to Disney+. DC put out two shows this year, The Penguin for the Reeves elseworlds and Creature Commandos as the animated debut of the new main DC film universe’s continuity; the former is a fantastic crime drama full of excellent performances that gives one of the best portrayals of Batman’s most versatile villain yet seen, while the latter is a decent-but-nothing-too-special ultra violent animated series. Both studios are looking to have interesting futures, and at any rate they’re both doing way better than Sony, who not only gave us now news on Spider-Verse but also shat out the three worst films in their already abysmal cinematic universe. Honestly, I think creating a six film run in a cinematic universe where none of the movies are good is an incredible feat!

But most of all, this was a great year for women. Most of my favorite performances of the year came from immensely talented actresses giving it their all: Mikey Madison, Margaret Qualley, Kathryn Hahn, Aubrey Plaza, Anya Taylor-Joy, Cynthia Erivo, Ariana Grande, Lauren LaVera, Alisha Weir, Liza Soberano, Kathryn Newton, Naomi Scott, Willa Fitzgerald, Lupita Nyong’o, Kristen Stewart, Cristin Milioti… The Ladies were killing it this year. Three stand above all the others for me, however. The first is Zendaya who, between Dune and Challengers cemented herself as one of my favorite actresses; the second is Lily Rose-Depp, who with Nosferatu gave a performance so good it completely erased Yoga Hosers from my mind; and finally there is Demi Moore in The Substance, who gave the best performance of the whole year, hands down.

Before we get into the top 20, let me just give a brief rundown of my ten honorable mentions. If there wasn’t a 30 image limit, I probably would’ve covered these, but oh well. Lisa Frankenstein is a shockingly charming and macabre directorial debut from Zelda Williams and a welcome return to form for Diablo Cody; Blink Twice is a gripping psychological horror thriller dealing with themes like gaslighting, sexism, and wealthy tech bros abusing women (a very topical subject) and features perhaps the best performance of Channing Tatum’s career; Smile 2 is a wonderfully crushing downer of a horror film, with a fantastic lead performance from Naomi Scott; Trap is M. Night going full goofy with a black comedy about a serial killer who keeps rolling nat 20s on his persuasion checks; Rite Here Rite Now is a kickass concert film for the band Ghost with story bits interwoven, and features a Scooby-Doo homage music video for “Mary on a Cross,” finally embracing their role as goofy Scooby-Doo chase music; Juror #2 is a fantastic late-career film from Clint Eastwood that features a fantastic performance from Nicolas Hoult, though it unfortunately released in a year where the guy had even better performances; Strange Darling is a dark thriller told out of older that is incredibly stylish but maybe a bit too full of itself; Road House is an awesomely stupid remake that fully embraces the goofy spirit of the Swayze original while telling its own story, complete with cartoonish logic and fights; The Wild Robot is a great (but a bit overhyped) found family story; and Love Lies Bleeding is basically Drive for lesbians with macrophilia, fulfilling the sort of niche none of us knew existed but we should be thankful is around. I’d also like to shout out two contenders that would have been higher if not for glaring issues—Late Night with the Devil and Alien: Romulus. The former has numerous moments that break the immersion of its setup and an absolutely terrible finale, while the latter employs CGI to bring a dead actor back to life and leans far too heavily on nostalgia for much of the middle portion of the movie. Both are still really good, but their glaring issues hold them back.

Now, onto the main event! Keep in mind, this is all just my opinion and not the objective list of what's best and worst, and you're free to agree or disagree as you see fit:

20. The Fall Guy

I really loved Bullet Train and Deadpool 2 is a really solid superhero sequel that might actually be funnier than the original, so it’s safe to say David Leitch is a director I enjoy. Now, how about throwing in Ryan “Literally Me” Gosling instead of Brad “Wife Beater” Pitt as the lead and also throwing in Emily Blunt, Winston Duke, and giving Aaron Taylor-Johnson a chance to actually act? You’ve got yourself a fun, funny little stunt extravaganza. It doesn’t quite reach the highs of Bullet Train but it gets pretty close, and if nothing else it managed to convince me Kiss didn’t suck for the duration of its runtime (they play “I Was Made for Lovin’ You” about every five minutes, and it honestly rules every time).

19. I Saw the TV Glow

I sometimes worry I’m not going to be able to pick up on metaphors or allegories, no matter how obvious. I watch a lot of horror and superhero movies, y’know? Simple stuff. I worry it makes me too stupid. But I was able to fully grasp the trans allegory of this movie, and absolutely loved it and thought it enhanced the narrative. Justice Smith absolutely kills it here; the dude is great at playing mumbly autistic people uncomfortable in their own skin, and this is the peak of those roles. He absolutely sells the final, soul-crushing party scene at the end of the movie in a way few other actors could. Also Fred Durst is here, and while this seems a funny tidbit, he actually delivers a line that is so unbelievably brutal that it instantly made me hyper aware of the themes of the film. I actually passed out the first time I tried watching this film, and thought that it sucked because of it; as you can see, I’m glad I gave it a second chance.

18. Conclave

I was worried a stuffy drama about holy men vying to become the Pope would be boring, but boy am I glad to be proven wrong! This is a film that is mostly old men talking to each other, but they’re also scheming, plotting, and acting like bitchy mean girls as they try and become the next head of the Vatican. Ralph Fiennes puts in a fantastic performance here, and the film’s views on faith and religion are actually pretty relevant to me (someone who has a complicated view of religion). Throw in a jaw-dropping final twist and I can see why this film is so heavily hyped as an awards darling—though I don’t necessarily think it should win.

17. Abigail

I’m sure you all are aware of my love of vampires, especially vampires with a singular defining theme. I have created vampire OCs with gimmicks ranging from a lost cosmonaut vampire to a traumatized WWII veteran clown vampire to a former Cosa Nostra boss vampire to a vampire who’s the king of Atlantis… But let me tell you, the fact I somehow didn’t think of “Vampire ballerina” is something that will haunt me forever, especially when it was done so perfectly here. The titular vampire’s profession of choice is utilized amazingly in how she moves and kills, and it makes her one of the most unique and fun horror antagonists in recent memory. The fact the rest of the film is funny and engaging is icing on the cake, really.

16. A Different Man

I love movies that are character studies about people who are literally the fucking worst, and Sebastian Stan’s character here is a very interesting take on this. He’s a man who feels his deformity is what causes people to not like him, so he gets a procedure to make him ‘normal’… And then along comes a guy with the same issue as him (played by Adam Pearson) who is the fucking Rizz Master and who everyone loves. It turns out the whole time he just fucking sucked! Stan is absolutely great and proved to me he’s the real deal after multiple MCU projects where he bored me to tears, but Pearson is the one who steals the show here. He’s just an unbelievably charismatic figure, a real fun guy, and without him the film just absolutely wouldn’t work. How he keeps getting overlooked for awards is beyond me.

15. Megalopolis

Every single opinion you will hear about this film is correct. It’s great, it’s awful, it’s genius, it’s moronic… It has to be seen to be believed. I saw this for my birthday, expecting it to be a glorious trainwreck lovingly crafted by an aging auteur who saw this as their ultimate passion project… and that’s exactly what I got! I think every decade needs its own take on The Room, and this is that film if it had an even more insanely huge budget and a director who actually has genuine talent and some semblance of knowledge about how a film is supposed to be.

14. Terrifier 3

The Little Slasher Film That Could! A truly inspiring film, one that managed to make a massive profit despite being a grisly, gruesome splatter film the likes of which haven’t been seen since… well, since Terrifier 2 really. The plot is a bit weaker than its predecessor, but what it lacks in story strength it makes up for in buckets of blood and pitch-black comedy. David Howard Thornton gives his best turn yet as Art, cementing the demonic clown as a modern horror icon with an impressive physical performance.

13. In a Violent Nature

One of the year’s most polarizing films due to its concept: It is a slasher film that follows the killer as our POV, and that means lots of slow, methodical walks through the woods as he seeks his victims. There’s lots of lingering shots and slow pacing, feeling like a real-time hiking simulator… but there’s something so fresh and engaging about it, and when we finally get to the kills they are easily some of the best the slasher genre has seen in years. Does the ending car ride drag on maybe a bit longer than it should? Sure, but I still enjoyed it for fleshing out the film’s world a bit more while hammering home the themes. I think this might be one of the only slasher movies I could reasonably call a genuine work of art.

12. Deadpool & Wolverine

I’ll be the first to admit this is not a great movie; the story is basically nonexistent and everything that happens seems to be contrivances that exist so that Reynolds and Jackman can bounce off each other. But this isn’t a bad thing! Jackman wisely brings his A-game when he could have easily half-assed this role at this point, and Reynolds manages to squeeze out a few solid emotional moments from Wade Wilson. And while the film is a terrible sequel to the first two Deadpool movies, it is a wonderful Deadpool themed meta-commentary and tribute to the Fox Marvel films of the 2000s, movies that tended to suck ass and that most would find unworthy of respect. Not this film; it brings back characters like Johnny Storm and Elektra and uses them in fresh and funny ways that will make you feel at least a little something for that era of superhero cinema. This is a fun fanservice fest—and the perfect demonstration of why we don’t need any more after it, because they could never be as good as this.

11. Wicked

Yes, the lighting is bad and the direction isn’t exactly anything special. Let’s not give Jon M. Chu any credit for why this film is so high up. No, it is the absolutely stellar cast that carries this film, with Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande knocking it out of the park in their roles as Elphaba and Glinda. Their developing friendship feels sweet and genuine, and their songs all hit as hard as they should, with the “Defying Gravity” sequence easily being one of the year’s highlights despite the sun’s best efforts at ruining the moment. It’s just nice to see a fun, colorful, campy fantasy musical get this big. We need more like this.

10. Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga

It’s nice to see the world of Mad Max expanded and it’s even better to see how Furiosa became the woman she was in Fury Road, but the real star of the show here is Chris Hemsworth as Dementus. It is mind-boggling how good an actor he is when he gets to let loose, and this might genuinely be the best performance of his career. Just a damn good film, but what else can you expect from Miller? Its biggest flaw is it just isn’t as good as Fury Road—but what movie even is?

9. Transformers One

The trailers for this movie didn’t look particularly good, and the Transformers franchise had long lost any goodwill in my eyes, so this was a movie I fully expected to fly under my radar. But then along came a Twitter user who did nothing but hype this film up to the high heavens, and so I had to give it a shot… and boy am I glad I did, because this is easily the best animated movie I saw last year (I did not get a chance to see Flow or Memoirs of a Snail, which I’m sure are better movies). For the second time in the year Chris Hemsworth pulled off a shockingly great performance, but this was truly Brian Tyree Henry’s film; his performance as D-16 AKA Megatron is genuinely fucking amazing. He truly manages to sell the future Decepticon's fall from grace and make it believable while also managing to sell the friendship between him and Optimus before it all goes to shit. Easily the best film in the entire franchise so far.

8. Sonic the Hedgehog 3

Family films really didn’t get better than this one this year, a feat that is monumentally impressive when you remember this is the second sequel to a movie based off of a video game and that easily clears both of its predecessors. It is paced like its title character and isn’t quite as funny as the last two, but it’s much more tightly plotted, the action is incredible, and best of all the emotional story beats it pullls off with Shadow and his tragic backstory hit just as hard as they should. As perfect as Shadow is, the movie wouldn’t be half as good without Eggman and his interactions with Gerald Robotnik; Jim Carrey, the man who once refused to do sequels, managed to give two of the best performances of his career in one film, delivering a fantastic character arc with Ivo and his toxic yaoi with Agent Stone as well as the zaniness-masking-depravity of Gerald. An utter joy of a film, a joy only compounded when a certain song kicked in at the finale and my daughter turned to me with a big, excited grin. You can’t buy an experience like that.

7. Anora

You know all those movies about hookers with a heart of gold like Pretty Women, these live-action fairy tales where a sex worker is swept off their feet and saved from their situation by a rich guy who loves them? Well, this is the antithesis to those, a dark and realistic take on those very stories that still manages to be very funny thanks to strong performances across the board and excessive amounts of profanity. If Demi Moore wasn’t in the running, I would be throwing my full support to Mikey Madison for Best Actress, because she rules in this.

6. Heretic

I really, really love Hugh Grant. I love how he’s taken his charming leading man image and used it to play sleazy, conniving villains, weaponizing his established charisma to play the nastiest guys imaginable. And let me tell you, his performance here had me sympathizing with fucking Mormons. I think maybe the movie goes on a bit too long for its own good—there’s a point where I was thinking “Ok, I get it, can we please just wrap it up?”--but the fact this is so high on my list should tell you that I don’t think that really holds it back much.

5. Challengers

Tennis is not anything I give a shit about, but for the duration of this movie it was the actual coolest thing in the world. This is the tale of the world’s three most toxic people, and the ultimate tennis match that will decide their destiny all with the backstory of what led to that match woven in. Zendaya cemented herself as one of my favorite actors with this film, the cinematography is genuinely insane (there is a fucking tennis ball POV sequence!!!!), and Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross deliver one of their best scores yet… Why isn’t this film drowning in Oscars? How did it get snubbed this badly?

4. Nosferatu

Robert Eggers might be the greatest modern horror director. He has an impeccable sense of style, an attention to detail when it comes to historical accuracy that is genuinely insane, and the ability to always get the best cast imaginable for his films. Bill Skarsgård is unrecognizable as Orlok, a role that manages to surpass Pennywise in sheer vile wickedness, but it is in fact Lily Rose-Depp who gives the greatest performance of the film. She is truly the heart and soul of this movie, and showcases the sort of acting talent her father wishes he still possessed. This might be the first horror remake since the 80s that manages to surpass the original, though with that said there aren’t many surprises here. It knows how good the original story is, and doesn’t change too much. What it does add is crucial to the plot, though, especially showing us Orlok’s penis.

3. Dune: Part Two

I wasn’t the biggest fan of the first Dune. I liked it well enough, but it felt like a whole lot of setting up and not enough delivering. Well, guess what? This film delivered. Oh fucking boy did it deliver. Austin Butler debuts as Feyd-Rautha, one of the most badass and bloodthirsty villains ever put to film, and despite not getting the winged panties Sting had manages to steal the show and leave a lasting impression despite his brief screentime. But even better than that—but only by a little—is Timothee Chalamet’s Paul’s journey from a desperate hero trying to survive into a full-blown dark messiah who buys into his own hype and whips his followers into a frenzy. It is genuinely chilling seeing what he becomes, and it has me excited where the third and final film will take him. Also Christopher Walken is here. And worms. I really love big worms and Walken.

2. The Substance

People have tried so hard to apply deep meaning to this film and say it has complex moral themes. And sure, it does have strong morals and themes, but let’s not kid ourselves here: This is an R-rated Goosebumps episode. And that’s why it’s fucking amazing. It’s gross, it’s gory, it’s nasty, it’s ridiculous, it’s cartoonish, and it features Demi Moore and Margaret Qualley going all out with their performances. This film has one of the best third acts of the year, because while it does drag on quite a bit it continually gets crazier and crazier. This would easily take my top spot, but there’s one film that’s even better...

1. Hundreds of Beavers

I did not know what to expect when watching this. After hearing so many online reviewers like Schafrillas and YMS rave about it, I definitely was uncertain that I’d find this to be quite as good as the hype would lead me to believe. But let me tell you, to say this film surpassed my expectations is an understatement. This is the funniest film I have ever seen in my life. This is a black and white (mostly) silent film comedy that showcases such a joy and appreciation for the art of film, a movie that oozes charm from every pore. It genuinely needs to be seen to be believed. It has one of the best protagonist journeys from nobody to badass I've ever seen, and it features some of the funniest gags I've ever witnessed. My daughter walked over when she heard me laughing, started watching, and laughed her ass off at the movie too. Genuinely a masterpiece.

Go. Go watch it. It’s free on Prime Video, it’s free on Tubi, stop fucking reading this, go and watch Hundreds of Beavers, and then come back here. It’s fine, I’ll wait.

Alright, now that you’ve seen peak cinema, it’s time to talk about the dogshit.

Even with watching so many movies this year, I surprisingly enjoyed most of them. Sequels I expected to despise like Moana 2 and MaXXXine ended up being decent but heavily flawed, cartoon slop I thought would be irredeemable crap like Thelma the Unicorn and The Garfield Movie ended up being surprisingly decent and surprisingly mid respectively, and Madame Web was perhaps the funniest piece of shit Sony ever churned out. Kung Fu Panda 4 and Venom: The Last Dance are really the closest to genuine “dishonorable mentions” I have, but neither of them are that bad. Like, they definitely suck, but they have enough good points to them where I don’t want to put them on this list. The same goes for hilarious streaming garbage like Nanoshark and Cinderella’s Revenge. Sure, the former feels three hours long (it’s barely over sixty minutes) and the latter ends up squandering its fun premise and dickriding Elon Musk (I’m not kidding), but it’s hard for me to muster up anger at schlock meant to be put on as background noise.

But I still saw some fucking awful movies this year that I hate with a passion. Here are all ten of them:

10. Poolman

Poolman is the directorial debut of everyone’s favorite Chris, Chris Pine… and it is a perfect demonstration of why he needs to stick to acting. Imagine, if you will, Chinatown crossed with The Big Lebowski. Now imagine The Dude is the most annoying, insufferable moron imaginable. That’s essentially what this film is. There is some mild entertainment in some of the bizarre, rambling conversations the characters have but it never truly feels like a worthwhile experience.

9. Emelia Pérez

Is this the absolute worst film of the year? No, absolutely not; if anything nice can be said about this film, it’s that it is competently made and all the technical aspects are sound. But it is probably the most offensive film of the year, delivering some of the most problematic depictions of Mexico and the trans experience you can imagine. This is basically a Mexican minstrel show desperately trying to be some grand, operatic tale of a cartel boss who tries to right their wrongs and live as their true self. It comes off as incredibly tone deaf and cringeworthy, with the transition feeling more like a way for the title character to escape her sins than anything else, which tarnishes a story that genuinely sounds fascinating on paper. Throw in a bunch of nonsensical musical numbers that are uniformly awful and a cast that has a poor grasp on the Spanish language, and you have a movie that’s offensive to everyone from man to woman, from woman to man, from penis to vagina.

8. Nosferatu

Yeah, that’s right, two Nosferatus released in 2024! And the difference in quality couldn’t be more night and day; while the Eggers film is a stylish remake that tells the familiar story with enough of the director’s own ideas to make it a unique and engaging experience, this film is a shot-for-shot remake that looks like it has the budget of a Channel Awesome movie (with the acting talent to match). The one saving grace is that the inimitable Doug Jones portrays Orlok, but even he isn’t enough to redeem this pointless slop. There are three better versions of this story you could be watching, the original and two remakes that justify their existence. Don’t waste your time with this glorified fan film.

7. The Crow

I’m not usually one to say a role died with an actor or that some stories are just not able to be remade, but The Crow is definitely one of the exceptions. Brandon Lee owned the role of Eric Draven, and the original film is perfect 90s gothic action; it’s a story that doesn’t really need a retelling. They could have easily just done a spin-off sequel like they’d done before, but no, they decided to randomly slap the names of Eric and Shelly on two characters who end up being in name only and tossing them into a sloppy supernatural murder thriller with forgettable villains and piss-poor characterization. Bill Skarsgård is probably thanking God every night he had the role of a lifetime in Count Orlok to fall back on, because a performance as bad as his Eric is would be more than enough to tank an actor’s career in any other year. Yet, even as bad as this is, it somehow isn’t the worst comic book adaptation of the year.

6. Hellboy: The Crooked Man

With The Crow, I can see why it was remade. Sure, the end result is a pile of shit, but I at least can admit there is some level of artistic integrity there; they wanted to try and put a unique spin on a familiar story, that they failed catastrophically is another thing entirely. This movie, though? This is one of the most cynical adaptations ever created. It is so blatantly an ashcan copy—a cheap production churned out as quickly as possible to cling to the rights—that it’s genuinely painful to watch. It has the look and feel of a fan film, and not a very good one; this is the Spider-Man: Lotus of Hellboy films. Frankly, this one makes me appreciate the Harbour-led film even more. Sure, that movie was a sloppy trainwreck of a dozen plotlines, but at least it had cool gore and Ian McShane! This movie has next to nothing of value.

5. Saving Bikini Bottom: The Sandy Cheeks Movie

You’d think that giving SpongeBob’s coolest friend her own feature-length adventure where she gets to save the day would be a good thing, especially since she’s often sidelined in the theatrical releases. Well, you’d be wrong! This is easily some of the most insufferable SpongeBob content ever shat out by Nickeleodeon, with bogus and uncomfortable grossout humor, a padded plot filled with random action sequences that do nothing to advance the plot, and a bunch of poorly-acted villains with annoying gimmicks. Wanda Sykes’ Sue Nahmee in particular is just an absolute eyesore once her true nature is revealed. I absolutely love Sandy, she’s one of my favorite characters and has been since I was a kid, so when I tell you it stung to see her time in the limelight be such a dumpster fire you’d better believe it.

4. Harold and the Purple Crayon

I honestly don’t know why this film exists. I don’t even know what to say about it. The fact that no one looked at this, a film where Zachary Levi plays a manchild who represents a grown-up version of a beloved cartoon character who enters the real world to go on a stupid journey, and thought “Hey this actually fucking sucks and maybe we shouldn’t release this into theaters” is absolutely astounding. This is a film destined to pad the bottom of the bargain bin at Wal-Mart, with the copies going unsold for years and years. Hell, it wouldn’t surprise me if they released the Blu-Ray straight to the bargain bin. This is the kind of crap I’d expect to see on Netflix.

3. Kraven the Hunter

Sony really had a fucking abysmal year. Madame Web was the insane, stupid comedy gold we’ve come to expect from their Spider-Man minus Spider-Man cinematic universe, but it also showed that the novelty of a series comprised of nothing but bad movies was wearing thin. Then came Venom: The Last Dance, a meandering and mediocre finale to the beloved campy Venom trilogy that ditched the fun and queer undertones for an almost incoherent sequence of random events occasionally interjected by Knull sitting on his ass and yelling at people like he’s Steven Seagal on set of his latest movie. And then as their final gift to us, they managed to put their stupid franchise out of its misery with this brutal death blow of a film. Kraven is bad in the worst possible way: It is incredibly fucking boring. This is astounding because not only is this rated R and able to take full advantage of Kraven hunting, it also has the perfect character to delver a badass anti-villainous role. But they don’t do that; instead, they make Kraven into a pretty boy anti-hero with Aaron Taylor-Johnson giving a performance so dull it convinced me he was a bad actor until I saw The Fall Guy. It’s truly pathetic that after six films they couldn’t manage to get even one thing right. It’s the miserable end to a historically awful franchise. I truly hope Disney gets the full Spider-Man rights back soon, because I trust Sony with these characters about as much as I trust a toddler with a live grenade.

2. Borderlands

I have never played a Borderlands game in my life, but if they are even remotely like this movie I don’t think I ever want to. This movie is what everyone who hates the MCU says every Marvel movie is like; flat characters, bad action, stupid quippy “he’s right behind me isn’t he”-ass dialogue, baffling casting choices, and the world’s most annoying comic relief character all congeal together into this disastrously bad sci-fi adventure. I guess we’ve been pretty spoiled with good video game adaptations lately, so they had to release a bad one to even things out. At any rate, this is the sort of black mark a Zionist dog like Eli Roth deserves on his career. With any luck, it will keep him out of the director’s chair for a very long time.

1. Joker: Foile à Deux

As many of you may know, Tom Green’s Freddy Got Fingered is one of my all-time favorite films. It is a troll film, a film where Green is deliberately pushing the limits of gross out comedy and sanity at the expense of the studio; it’s a film that is deliberately off-putting. I’m also a fan of the John Leguizamo vehicle The Pest, a movie where the main character is made to be as deliberately annoying as possible, a film designed to be as horribly offensive to everyone as possible in the hopes it crosses the line enough times you’ll laugh. These are films I admire for their edgy, stupid, confrontational style; they will not appeal to everyone, and that’s fine, because while they are certainly laughing at your expense they’re laughing at everyone else’s expense as well.

This film is very similar, except that it’s only laughing at you. You, the viewer, are the punchline of this movie and it spends its plodding runtime hammering that in and telling you over and over how much of a stupid fucking idiot you are. The film is half the most banal courtroom drama you’ve ever seen, one where they do nothing but recap the first film, and half a terrible jukebox musical where the songs are just there to be there and are poorly sung. All of it is built around picking apart the first film and repeatedly hammering in that you’re stupid for liking Joker, the original film and the character. Now this isn’t an idea wholly devoid of merit, especially because of the wild misaimed fandom of the character, but Todd Phillips lacks the intelligence and maturity to tackle something as profound as that. He is truly a shallow filmmaker, unable to grasp these deeper ideas and so settling into surface-level style to distract you from how awful the screenplay is.

Genuinely, the worst part of all this is the incredibly tasteless moment where Joker is implied to be raped by prison guards, something that crushes his spirit and removes all his desire to be Joker (something he spent this whole film up to this point getting back to, despite the whole first film covering the same plot beats). There is so much wrong with this, so much that needs to be unpacked. Did he not realize the sort of messages this sends? Did Phillips really not think through the implications of Joker being cured of his Jokerness by being sexually assaulted? Considering his numerous crimes and the fact that he’s the fucking Joker, is this not implying in a way that perhaps the ends justified the means here? Honestly, I’m putting more thought into this than Phillips put into the whole movie. He just wanted to say “screw the audience” without finding ways to make it fun, engaging, or entertaining.

People are going to look back on this film in a few years and try and convince you it’s good. Don’t listen to them. It isn’t. This is a fucking disaster of a movie, and you are genuinely better off just watching the first film again; if you’re dead set on watching this, hit yourself on the head with a hammer while watching the first one and you’ll get just about the same basic effect. Any film that wastes Lady Gaga this badly is a crime against nature.

[princesssarcastia]

things i’m still thinking about after my second showing of across the spider-verse

Ham and Noir never showed up at headquarters, but they showed up at the end when Gwen and Miles needed them.  I’m actually very curious about that—they both enjoyed working with Miles, Peter B., Gwen, and Peni in the first movie, so they don;t object to working with others on principle.   I wonder if their spidey senses pinged when Miguel or Jess showed up to recruit them, and they said no.  Or: they got all the way to headquarters, caught the vibe, and refused to sign up, not even to see their new friends.  Certainly, Noir is enough like Hobie to see the problematic elements of this place quickly and refuse to take part in it.  And Ham really loves Miles.  If he made it all the way to the part where they explain the anomaly, and how Miguel believes Miles fits in...I think he’d walk out.  My boy Ham would not have stood for that chase bullshit

(Or:  Miguel took one look at Ham and Ham’s world and said “Fuck that, no way.”)

(Or: Peter B. didn’t push for Miguel and Jess to recruit Ham and Noir.  Didn’t push for them to recruit any of the people he grew to love and love working with, during the collider incident, because he knows Miguel, and knows deep down that this environment is toxic, and not at all what he wants for them)

Which brings me to another thing I can’t stop thinking about: how Peter B. definitely knew Miguel before this whole inter-dimensional spider club got started.  They are definitely friends, or they were.  It gives Peter more leeway to fuck around with Miguel, and it gives Miguel more leeway to be an uptight fascist with Peter.

I also think that the reason Peter B. and so many other Spider-People buy into that bullshit narrative about canon events is because they, like so many traumatized people before them, want it all to have meant something.  They want there to be a reason, a divine purpose, a plan, so that their suffering isn’t pointless.  Peter B. has convinced himself that purpose makes the loss hurt less—and it’s not until Miles rightfully calls them all out on it that he starts to realize it actually makes it hurt more.

“All this loss makes us who we are!”  Bullshit, Peter B., you should know better.

We never meet another Miles, not once.  I know some people are speculating that 42!Miles was supposed to get bitten by that spider, but I don’t think that’s true.  

I think the Miles Morales in 1610 is something wholly new in the entire multiverse, and I think that should and does terrify the everloving pants off of everyone involved in the status quo.  In every peter who likes feeling special, who likes being The One And Only Spider-Man, In Every Universe.  In Miguel, who’s clinging desperately to the boxes he’s shoved the universe into so he doesn’t have to try and get better.

And Miles Morales is...oh, he’s mind-blowing.  I can’t stop thinking about the way he! plows! through! an! entire! multi-verse’s! worth! of! spider-people!  All of them!  It’s hard, but he fucking does it and he beats them and he’s RIGHT.   They should fucking crown him king.

Not only that—he beats them at the violence from the moral high ground!  He doesn’t give into despair, doesn’t take the easy route of “I couldn’t stop it, leads to, I shouldn’t stop it.”  He puts the onus on himself to do both.  To save the world and his father.

Miles Morales Is Better Than You

The way that Miles and Gwen seem to have some sort of trans-dimensional spider-sense hookup is so fucking cool.  Gwen stands in his room long enough to spider-sense out through the whole UNIVERSE and tell that he’s. not.  here.  they’re CONNECTED they have a CONNECTION.

Speaking of, Gwen Stacy is trans as fuck.  Claiming her now.

Hobie is a delight.  He sees, I think, what Peter B. sees (and what I think Ham and Noir see) which is that there’s something special about these kids.  (Obviously, that something special is that they’re the main characters.  But for the most part, Miles and Gwen are fighting head and shoulders above the rest of the crowd, and on their way to thinking head and shoulders above the crowd, too)

I wasn’t expecting the movie to focus on Gwen so much, but her story was heart-wrenching.  Her dad, picking her job over his daughter.  Getting a second chance, with some people she clearly desperately wants to be her new family, but that second chance is contingent on her ability to perform for the Mission—and comes at the expense of the only friend she’s made since Peter died.  And then...then she fucks up the mission.  And loses everything.  Big oof.  She gets punched in the face so many times, but every time she gets up angrier than before and starts hitting back.

[brandileigh2003]

@flashfictionfridayofficial

Feel free to give me kudos or comments on AO3 too

Fandom: marauders (harry potter). Characters: remus lupin, Lily Evans. Wc: 997

CW: (+ other things that would be in tags)

talk of injuries, mental illness. Remus is trans. Post-prank. Pre-wolfstar relationship. Lily & Remus friendship

***************

“Remus?” Lily whispered, shaking his shoulder lightly. 

Remus sat up with a gasp. “Hm?”

“Why aren’t you in your room? It’s close to… Your time of the month. You have to be hurting sleeping here,” Lily sat down beside him, eyes furrowed in concern. “Were you crying, love?” 

“Um. I just. I can’t be around him,” Remus replied. He tried to ignore the crying question as well as the one about pain. Because the truth was, Remus hurt so badly. Every single joint was like it was on fire, and his stomach hurt because not only did the universe see fit to have him be turned into a werewolf before his fifth birthday, it had him born into the wrong body, and lately his period seemed to want to line up with the moons. Remus wanted to scream, or punch something. Better yet, punch Lyall. He didn’t think that Remus fully understood what it meant to take testosterone potions and permanently change his body. 

Lily’s compassionate voice broke him down and he finally told her everything about the month prior, of Sirius betraying one of his biggest secrets. He was honestly surprised that Snape hadn’t told her yet, but he supposed since the mudblood incident, she hadn’t given him the time of day. Which; good for her. He had hated seeing her in pain watching her oldest friend get in deeper with the other dark Slytherins, and although he didn’t want her to be in pain, being close to him would only get worse as the war loomed closer. 

“That’s… Oh Merlin, Remus. I am so sorry,” she said, wrapping her arms around him and rubbing his back gently.

He was crying again, and he hated himself, more than ever. He felt tired and weak, physically, mentally, emotionally. Plus  any other way that one can just feel ready to just lay down and not really care if they ever got back up. 

He wiped his face but winced at the still tender wounds on his face. Which was yet another thing that he would always have to carry from that night. The wolf was more angry than ever when he thought that he would finally have prey, not be hungry for once, and took it out more than usual on Remus. His hip still wasn’t right, and his face now was bisected with what would certainly turn into scars. 

“I was going to finally tell him, Lily. How is that for life just not letting me have anything good,” Remus finally said. Lily was one of the only people that he had confided about his feelings for Sirius. And what made it all so much worse is that Remus had been nearly certain that Sirius also had feelings for him too. But Remus should have known that he shouldn’t hope for anything. Instead of what he thought might be a new relationship, he now felt further from Sirius than ever. 

“Want to know something even more fucked up?” he continued, laughing hollowly. “I still love him. I want to forgive him. I want to run to him and throw myself in his arms. I want to write off everything that he did as pressure because of… Well. Everything with his family. You have heard enough that I am sure that you can imagine.”

“Remus, love. Nothing can excuse that betrayal. I know that things aren’t easy. And that Sirius struggles with mental health. But, he is supposed to be your best friend. His actions could have caused three deaths. Sev, James and you. Because they would either put you in a camp for dangerous creatures or execute you,” Lily said firmly but kindly. 

“I still feel guilty though. I should just let it go. It’s breaking James' heart every time he has to leave one of us to spend time with the other. Because I just can’t be around Sirius. Classes are hard enough. I go to the dorm as little as possible. I’m afraid I’ll just lose it. And any action would be something I regret. Yelling, forgiving him, kissing him. Nothing feels right. But if I just let it go back to normal, he won’t be so sad.” 

“This is about you though Remus, you can’t put everyone above yourself,” Lily said. 

“But if I don’t I will lose all three of them. James is his best friend, his brother, his soulmate, his… something. But. Eventually James will choose him. Or I will push James away so that he will be happy too. Because him and Sirius need each other. And Peter will do whatever James does.” Remus said. He had already spilled out everything else, so might as well get into his deepest fears too. 

Remus didn’t feel like arguing. “Everything hurts Lils. It all feels washed out. Dull. Food doesn’t taste good. I think I’ve forgotten how to smile. I can’t focus on homework, and I honestly don’t find myself caring either. I either can’t sleep or sleep too much. Even colors feel muted. I don’t even know how to explain it.” 

“Remus. You’re worrying me. This sounds like major depression,” Lily was playing with his fingers. 

“I’ll be okay, I promise. I am sorry, I shouldn’t be putting all of my problems on you. I was just…” Remus waved his other hand around uselessly. 

“Remus. I want you to always talk to me. I’m glad that you trust me. But. I think that you need help. Will you come and talk to Madam Pomfrey? Honestly, if you don’t, I am worried enough I will do it regardless,” Lily said, nervously. 

Remus didn’t have the strength to fight her, so just meekly followed her through the hallways and she sat with him while he tried to explain it all to the nurse. Pomfrey gave him a big hug and said that she had a few things that might help. 

Remus managed a small smile of thanks and could only hope she was right. 

**I do not agree with jkr nasty views. I love taking the characters and making them queer 🏳️‍🌈

[lurkingshan]

10 Things I Love About 3 Will Be Free

I am very late on this one, I know it! But this week I finally sat down with @wen-kexing-apologist and binged the whole thing, and had a grand ol’ time doing it. @waitmyturtles the verdict is two enthusiastic thumbs up. This was such a fun romp, and here are a few of the things I loved most about it:

SHIN MY BELOVED

Guess who has a new blorbo!! In hindsight it is absolutely absurd that it took a Tay Tawan girlie like me so long to watch this show, because Shin is an instant entry on the all-time fav characters list. I love his sad gay ass. He’s sensitive, he’s lonely, he’s repressed, he’s far too susceptible to Stockholm syndrome, and I would protect him with my life.

Mae

A working class trans character with an actual plot?! Thank you for your endless gifts, P’Jojo. Sure, my girl Mae made some questionable choices (just a little light murder!), but listen, I support her, in the words of @wen-kexing-apologist, embracing her feminine rage. And in the end, she figured out exactly the right target for her rage and lived her best life.

Miw

A Survivor. Gets shit done. Absolutely will kill a man if he forces her hand. Loyal to her boyfriends even when it would probably be smarter to ditch them. Also, she so pretty.

Neo’s tanks and crop tops

I never claimed not to be shallow.

Neo and Shin’s backstory

Episode 5 was my favorite of the show and the moment it really clicked for me. I loved getting a glimpse of Shin’s lonely and dejected teen years (I just wanna talk, Ken 🔪🔪🔪). I loved that the basis of Neo and Shin’s relationship and initial attraction was the way they played together. Shin laughed more in his few days with Neo than he probably had in the several years preceding them. I loved that Neo gave him his first kiss and that Shin treasured those memories so dearly.

The Worst Criminals Of All Time

Truly remarkable these three are still alive by the end of the show. Their ideas were half-baked and their execution was severely lacking. They never had a plan they thought all the way through and they never had a single scheme that went off without a hitch. Luckily, the bad guys chasing them were also thoroughly incompetent, so it all evened out. The only smart person in this show was Miw’s mom, who knew the only prudent move was to stay the hell out of this mess.

Miw and Shin’s friendship

I just love that these two developed their own bond, even though they’re not into each other the same way they’re both into Neo. They both risked their lives to save the other. They tease and joke with each other. Shin literally wanted to bring his new bestie home to live with him. They’re adorable.

This weird little guy

Toptap. My guy. What are you doing here and why are you being so strange? Are you good, are you bad, are you chaotic neutral? Who can tell! Certainly not me. But I enjoyed every moment your weird ass was on the screen.

There's a polyamorous relationship, and it’s depicted onscreen!

Okay, here’s the part where I admit my expectations for the poly romance in this show were a liiiiiiilttle off base. I must gently rib the fandom for leading me to believe this show would have any actual sex in it (or really a focus on romance at all) and once again recite to myself a universal truth: gifs removed from context are so misleading. At the same time, I also must acknowledge how groundbreaking it was at the time to depict polyamory at all. I would have loved a bit more time spent on the actual relationship dynamics and the emotional complexities of this triad they formed, but I recognize that’s not really what this show was about and appreciate they included a polycule in the first place. Now that it’s 2023 and he’s been give a lot more freedom, I look forward to Jojo’s further exploration of sexy polycules in Only Friends.

Against all odds, these crazy kids got their happy ending

When this show started I did not see any way for them to come out of this in good shape. I was going to be happy if they simply survived. But not only did they survive, they are thriving! Shin has inherited his dad’s legitimate business and discovered he looks hot in a deep V. Neo and Miw are living that beach life they deserve. Everyone loves each other and everyone is at peace. A+, 10/10, would watch again.

[theomenroom]

I Was a Teenage Exocolonist spoilers (meta about the Heliopause and musings about what life's like for the Helios)

I get the impression that the Heliopause was hit a lot worse than the Stratospheric was, given that it takes them four years to even start trying to replace the governing council of the place they've just taken over in a military occupation, and also, like, Lum is only three years older than Utopia, who boarded the Stratospheric at the age of four. Even if we make generous assumptions and say the Heliopause is a faster ship, Lum was probably not more than, like, ten when he boarded the Heliopause.

Also there's the stuff Rex and Nomi say about how Lum got the job.

It's very likely that there weren't any Heliopause survivors who boarded the ship as adults.

The Heliopause is a military ship, with more-or-less universal conscription (Nomi and Rex's narratives aside; I have theories but that's out of scope here).

Every single one of the Helio soldiers who shows up to take over the colony when the Helio lands, then, either was selected as a child to be raised for conscription, or was born for conscription.

In other words, the Helio shows up with two platoons of child soldiers in a can whose entire command structure has just disintegrated, possibly literally. And, without their senior officers, they need the technical experts in the Strato colony, even if they have a bunch of preserved food for the landing.

You could tell an entire story just about that, honestly, about trying to find freedom between the environment you grew up in, the occupying soldiers, and the hostile wildlife (having the outside hostile environment be something that the soldiers can be pointed at makes the balance more interesting, or at least, interesting in a different way than, say, a dome city in a hostile atmosphere would be). The problem there isn't even Lum, not really, it's that there are a bunch of soldiers who have few useful skills except fighting, and more guns than you, and they expect to live off of that. The game's mechanics require that you're still given a lot of freedom, to do what you want and slack when you want/need to, which limits its ability to portray the soldiers acting on their established motivations.

Also, surprisingly for a coming-of-age story about teenagers, there's not a whole lot of story about exploration and self-acceptance in restrictive environments (for instance, none of the characters' pronouns change over time; Tangent and Nomi are trans, but both of them have settled genders before their ships land), which doesn't give them much room to show Helio soldiers as Sol's peers other than Vace (indeed, I remember fighting a Glow raid with Anemone and her squad, none of whom were important enough to give a face or a name to).

Honestly, though, I'm not sure how much of this is criticism and how much is me wanting to run off in a different direction with its ideas.

[shakespearean-snape]

Hi there! so glad to see you posting again I like a lot of what you have to say about Snape. I noticed you say a few times tho that your visual headcanon for Snape isn't conventionally attractive and I just wondered if you had any reference of what he looks like in your mind? An actor or other famous person? just someone like that?

I'm just curious how you imagine Snape because I admit I just see Alan Rickman as Snape in my head since I started with the movies as a kid and didn't read the books a few until years later. It always interests me so much when people say they read the books before the movies or read the books with the movies coming out and saw Snape as someone else.

Its ok if you can't think of anyone just thought I'd ask. thx!

Hello!

*waves enthusiastically like an idiot with zero chill*

I get so giddy when someone sends me an ask like this so I hope no one thinks I don't enjoy questions about Snape or my headcanons. As anyone who knows me knows, I think a lot and especially about those things I love so I always have lots of thoughts rolling around in my head I can be positively overeager to share with anyone interested.

So to answer your question, I don't have a specific person pinned down that is 100% like how I picture Snape in my mind but some close candidates would be a young Adrien Brody (which I think is common enough among Snape fans as a choice, right there with Adam Driver these days), obviously the man that JKR based Snape around, John Nettleship, someone like Adarsh Jaikarran as a potential Hogwarts-era and early 20s Snape (even if he is more good-looking than I usually lean, in some pictures he just channels Snape vibes for me quite a bit) and a very young Julian Richings if you've ever seen photos of him in his younger years (I have two here for you so you can see my point a bit, here and here).

Ironically, Julian Richings in the later years of his acting career would probably have been my first choice for a Voldemort fan cast back in the day when any Harry Potter reboot was purely in the realm of the hypothetical (I mean, c'mon, look at this and tell me you can't see it too) but as JKR is an unapologetic anti-feminist/TERF I provide no monetary support to any of her projects including any licensed games, the watching of future reboots or purchasing of future tie-in books in the HP universe, officially licensed HP merchandise, or even by giving traffic to what was formerly Pottermore, etc.

All I bring to the fandom now is my fan theories and love for Snape, which she not only does not benefit from but never seemed entirely at peace with given how the character got away from her and took off. I can't think of a better way to spite someone so utterly spiteful herself than to take the character she was most shocked by people loving in any capacity and celebrate him in every incarnation (gay, bi, trans, ace, autistic, poc, etc.) with my queer, gender-nonconforming little heart while she gets zero money off me for it.

Anyway I hope the visual guide gives you a little more insight into my mind. I've never seen Snape as "ugly" (even when I joke my Snape is "ugly" and I like him that way) but my mental picture of him is of a man whose looks might fall into that unconventionally attractive sphere or what some people call homely. Occasionally I veer off that a bit, as with Adarsh Jaikarran, oh, oh! And also Lee Soo Hyuk, Song Jae-Rim and Kento Yamazaki (ever since I saw him in the live-action Bloody Monday manga series adaptation)!

But yes, my favorite Snape and the Snape I love isn't usually model attractive but also not quite the gargoyle Harry describes (that kid had some ridiculously high standards of beauty tbh, about the only characters he didn't have mentally critical notes on their appearance was the unnamed Veela, Fleur, and Narcissa Malfoy so yeah he totally thought "Draco's mom has got it going on..." Lol!) but somewhere in that "unconventional" categorization of attractive which I feel really suits a man who so often defies easy categorization in general.

(Excuse all the edits. After I gave a few examples more started hitting me and I was like ohhhhh I should have shared them, why didn't I think to share them? So I may come back and make more edits throughout the day, no promises I won't! Lol)

[exorcist-timpani]

Hello, my name is Timpani.

My record is 137.

I'm not here to impress with my numbers.

Commander Lute seems to think I'm an underachiever, but I don't like the spotlight.

I'm adept with twin hooks and the whip chain... uhm Anyway, you probably don't want to hear about that.

Off duty stuff...uhm let's see

I enjoy video games, I like to make lattes, I draw, I uhm...well I'm not particularly social so...I don't have much to say.

Well...have a good day.

[6'

She/They

Trans

Demisexual/Demiromantic

Very quiet at first but loves to spout stuff about her special interests. She doesn't agree with the exterminations, and often seeks out only the most evil souls. She avoids children and weaker sinners. While she typically comes in around 125 kills, her targets are challenges. She took up the twin hooks as her weapon because of the versatility, her chosen backup weapon is a whip chain she keeps wrapped around her upper thigh. She doesn't tend to get involved in a lot of the messes the other Exorcists do, but when she does she goes 0-100 really quick.]

((Guess who has a 5th blog. Hi it's Lilith again you may know me better as @ask-lute , @ask-pentious, or @charliepunningstar. Im just doing this to have an OC to RP as occasionally. Please be respectful, no bigotry will be tolerated here, have fun, and ask if I don't know you and you want to rp, random prompts make me anxious tbh! Thank you!))

Mod: @able-juice ((Lilith))

Lutual Statement

After a pretty rough week with a lot going on, the Lutuals have decided that moving forward we will be a bit more selective regarding certain things. We love sharing our characters and developing new and interesting storylines for people to read and interact with and want to continue doing so while protecting ourselves and our mental health. Please see below on the things we expect moving forward.

Asks, anon or not, will be deleted on sight and the sender blocked if they fall into any of the following categories:

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Hate Speech - the Lutualverse is a fun spinoff of the Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss settings and isn’t the place for social or political commentary. We’re just here for the various shades of queer relationships; if you’re not, kindly move along.

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To better form a cohesive, consistent universe with multiple storylines, the current Lutualverse is a set roster you can find here, all of whom have been vetted as 18+. As the blogs, storylines, and shows are 18+, it is recommended that minors do not interact. We are not accepting applications at this time to join the Lutualverse, though individual mods may respond to starters at their discretion; these events will not be canon to the universe.

It has also come to our attention that some blogs are claiming to be part of the Lutualverse despite not being official members.

While we appreciate that people enjoy our work, we DO NOT appreciate being impersonated or having unaffiliated members claiming to be part of our canon.

At the time of writing, the ONLY Lutuals are as follows:

@joyerisjoy

@able-juice

@silvireal

@texanredrose

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@canibalistic-brownie

@greybazzy

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@pseudobun

@atttwoood

@paperroxas

Our recently updated roster of characters on our Lutuals page of the Wiki lists all the OFFICIAL blogs we have can be read here (https://lutualverse.fandom.com/wiki/Lutuals).

Any new blogs or members will be announced by ONE OF US and will be LISTED on the Lutuals roster.

Any unaffiliated users claiming to be part of our verse WILL BE BLOCKED.

Thank you for your understanding.

[luckyduckwrites]

The Moon Chapter 2-1: Life On the Moon

Fandom: DuckTales (Cartoon 2017)

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Della Duck (Disney) & Original Character(s), Dewey Duck & Donald Duck & Huey Duck & Louie Duck (Disney) & Original Character(s), Lena (Disney: DuckTales) & Webby Vanderquack & Original Character(s), Violet Sabrewing (Disney) & Original Character(s), Scrooge McDuck & Original Character(s)

Characters: Della Duck (Disney), Dewey Duck (Disney), Donald Duck (Disney), Huey Duck (Disney), Louie Duck (Disney), Scrooge McDuck, Webby Vanderquack, Lena (Disney: DuckTales), Violet Sabrewing (Disney), Penumbra (Disney: DuckTales), Lunaris (Disney: DuckTales), Gibbous (Disney: DuckTales), Zenith (Disney: DuckTales), Original Trans Character(s)

Additional Tags: Original Character-centric, No Romance, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Older Sibling Huey Duck (Disney), Older Sibling Dewey Duck, Sensitive Louie Duck (Disney), Dewey Duck Has ADHD (Disney), Aromantic Asexual Dewey Duck (Disney), Protective Huey Duck (Disney), Autistic Huey Duck (Disney), Anxious Huey Duck (Disney), Good Sibling Huey Duck (Disney), Good Parent Della Duck (Disney), Della Duck Tries (Disney), Della Duck Needs a Hug (Disney), Della Duck has ADHD (Disney), Protective Della Duck (Disney), Della Duck Has PTSD (Disney), Minor Della Duck/Penumbra (Disney: DuckTales), POV Original Character

Summary:

My name is Clover Duck. My mom accidentally took my egg with her on the rocket, and we got stuck on the moon. I've only ever seen the vast nothing of the moon, but the colors on Earth look like they would be beautiful. Mom and I chew a gum called Oxy-Chew that allows us to breathe, and it gives us the nutrients we need to survive. My mom tells me that I have three brothers on Earth, and I can't wait to meet them!

A/N: After A Nightmare on Kilmotor Hill, Clover uses the name Lucky and uses he/him. Please respect that in the comments after that chapter.

**AO3 & Wattpad links in masterpost pinned to the top of the blog**

My mom got stuck on the moon after test-driving her rocket, the Spear of Selene. She tells me that I have three brothers and two uncles back on Earth, and she is often sending videos to them on updates and life lessons for my brothers. I'm not in the videos often anymore. The rocket gets attacked by a moon mite every few months, and every time it melts more of the metal, making it harder for Mom to fix the Spear back up.

The only place I've ever known is the moon, and the only person I've ever seen is my mom. She always looks really lonely, even though she has me. There's not much to do around here on the rocket, so I just read and re-read the Junior Woodchuck Guidebook. It's the only book on this ship other than the owner's manual, but that one's really boring, and the JWG teaches me about Earth.

A few months ago, Mom got what she called a TV working, and we saw a broadcast from Earth that showed my brothers and uncles. It said that they had saved Duckburg, the town where Mom grew up, from living shadows and a scary woman named Magica. A few days ago, Mom said that it was Christmas on Earth, and explained how they celebrate it. Earth holidays seem strange, but I also can't wait to experience them.

For the last five years, Mom leaves for a few days at a time, looking all over the moon for gold to power the ship. She says that the only thing we're missing now is fuel. I'm 11 years old, and I'm really looking forward to seeing Earth for the first time. There's never any color outside of this ship, and nothing ever changes around here, other than the Mite attacks.

Mom's been gone for almost 10 days now. She's never been gone that long, but I can tell she's getting desperate. 2 years ago, she found out that the rocket needed gold to run, but gold is very rare on Earth, and she's not sure there's any on the moon. She's been leaving for longer lately and is more frustrated each time she comes back.

She walks back into our shelter room, turning the screen on and angrily saying, "Welp, there's no gold on the moon." As she brushes moon dust out of her hair, she imitates someone's voice, saying, "Tear me tartan. I'm the richest duck in the world, but I cannae possibly spare any backup gold, even though the engine runs on it!"

She crosses her arms in frustration, saying, "Life lesson, kids: adventuring is tough. Ya know, sometimes there's a cursed idol that turns into a demon. Or sometimes you crash land on the moon with your daughter and try to stay alive, but a Moon Mite messes everything up, keeping you here while your other kids grow up with their uncles."

I can see her eye twitching in barely contained frustration, and she continues, "But you still got your health, your daughter, a cool robot leg, and gum that mocks you with every chew!"

She takes a hard bite, then holds her cheek in pain. She reaches into her mouth and pulls out an oddly colored tooth.

Her anger is replaced with excitement as she exclaims, "A gold filling?! Ah! Ha ha ha! I had gold in my mouth this whole time!" She then gets angry again and she repeats, "I had gold in my mouth this whole time?!" She then has a look of realization as she says, "That's why Scrooge made me go to the dentist as a kid. It wasn't about hygiene at all! I've got backup gold! Nothing can stop me now!"

She spins in her chair in excitement, but the ship shakes violently. The mite is attacking again!

Mom says, "No no no no! Not this time!"

Mom and I head out and fight the Moon Mite as usual, but suddenly, the Mite is hit with a blast from far away behind Mom and I. I turn around and almost get hit with a second blast, making me fall backward in shock. I see a tall purple being holding some type of gold-colored blaster and golden clothes and armor.

She's aiming her blaster at us, yelling, "Halt in the name of the Moon!"

Mom asks, "Wait, what? Who? What?!"

I ask, "W-what are you?"

The being doesn't respond, and the Mite starts burrowing back underground, taking the Spear with it.

Mom says, "Oh, no, you dont!"

She starts digging through the dirt to find it, but it's useless.

As Mom keeps digging through the dirt, the purple being says, "Don't ignore me when I threaten your lives! Respect my dominance! Who are you both, and how did you get here?!"

Mom has her back to the being as she keeps digging.

I say, "I-I'm Clover."

Mom adds, "Hi! Della Duck. I have, like, 13 million questions! But right now, we have to get our ship and get back to Earth!"

A taller, more muscular blue being with matching clothing to the purple being says, "Stand down, Lieutenant Penumbra." The blue being walks up to me and helps me up, saying, "Greeting, Earthers. I am General Lunaris of the Planet Moon."

Mom keeps digging as she says in disbelief, "What? The Moon's not a planet."

The purple being, Penumbra, aims her blaster at Mom again, exclaiming, "You will treat the vastly superior Moon with respect, or you will suffer the ultimate concequence."

Mom says, "Look, I'll suffer whatever consequences you want after I find the mite."

Penumbra rolls her eyes, scoffing, "Uh, ha. The courageous warriors of the Planet Moon have been hunting the beast for more than three cycles. So, how are pathetic Earth-dwelling dummies going to find it?"

I say, "Well, I've never actually lived on Earth yet, but our only way to go back to Earth is our ship that the Mite stole!"

Suddenly, the dirt caves in, pulling all of us down into a secret chamber where the Mite is.

Mom says, "Hey, I found the mite!" The Mite hisses at us, and Lunaris says, "Open fire, Lieutenant Penumbra!"

They both fire their blasters at it, hitting it until it charges at us.

Penumbra says to Lunaris, "Quick! Feed the Earthers to the beast! While it's crushing their weak bones, we kill it!"

My eyes widen, and Mom grabs Penumbra's blaster, saying, "Listen, we both know how this goes. First we hate each other, then go on a life-changing adventure, then..." Mom blasts the Mite, exclaiming, "Boom! Best friends! So, can we move this along, Penny?"

Penumbra takes the blaster back, replying, "My name is Lieutenant Penumbra!"

The Mite starts shooting its corrosive spit at us, accidentally melting the Spear. Our only way home. My only way of meeting the rest of my family. I collapse to my knees in front of it, tears in my eyes. Now I'll be stuck on this colorless rock forever. I feel Mom's hand on my shoulder. I look at her, and she wipes away my tears before turning toward the Mite, punching it. Penumbra keeps shooting, nearly hitting Mom.

Lunaris exclaims, "Stop firing, Lieutenant. You'll hit Della!"

She blasts again, then stops.

Mom yells to the Mite, "You won't stop me from getting home to my other kids, ya creepy-crawly crook! I will not fail my daughter again!"

All of a sudden, we hear a baby crying, and look to the Spear to see a small Mite. It's kinda cute.

Mom says, "Wait, the Mite isn't a monster. It's a mother!"

Penumbra asks, "Who cares?"

I respond, "The Mite's not our enemy. It's just trying to survive. Like me and Mom."

Mom adds, "She put herself in danger, faced unknown threats, scoured this entire planet for any scrap of metal." Mom looks at me and smiles as she continues, "Because a mother would do anything for the sake of her kids."

Penumbra tries to say something, but stops herself, still frowning.

Mom says, "Let me try something. I used to sing this old song to my boys before they hatched, and I still sing it to Clover. Honey, want to join me?"

I nod, and we sing to the baby Mite, "Look to the stars, my darling girl and boys. Life is strange and vast, filled with wonders and joys. Face each new sun with eyes clear and true. Unafraid of the unknown, because I'll face it all with you."

Mom was tearing up at the end, looking at the Earth. I start petting the baby Mite as Mom walks over to Penumbra and Lunaris.

She says, "Quick, give me your guns."

They do, and Penumbra says, "Ooh, good plan. Lull the beasts into a false sense of security, only to betray them when they're at their most vulnerable! Huh, maybe we are becoming best friends."

Mom walks over to me and the Mites with the blasters, and she hands me one. I nod, knowing what she means. She feeds one to the Mama Mite, and I feed the other one to the baby Mite.

Penumbra exclaims, "Boo! You disappoint me in every way possible!"

The Mites leave, waving at us. Mom and I smile and wave back.

Lunaris says, "We fought the Mites for cycles, and you turned them back, not through battle, but compassion. If we simply share the gold, we will no longer be at war with the beasts! You have both done the Planet Moon a great service today, Della and Clover Duck."

Mom and I turn back to the ruined Spear, and Mom says to me, "There's no way I can fix this. I'm sorry, honey. I tried."

I give her a big hug and reply, "It's okay, Mom. I still have you, and that means more to me than going home."

Mom smiles sadly, hugging me back.

Lunaris says, "You might not be able to go home, but that doesn't mean you can't make a new one with us."

He leads us back to the surface, and to a huge rock with yellow stripes on it.

He continues, "For too long, the Mites have been attacking our home, but my people will hide in fear no more."

Mom nervously says, "Neat house, heh. Where I'm from, we call this a rock."

Penumbra annoyedly asks, "General, am I allowed to disintegrate her yet?"

I glare at her. Mom may think they're best friends, but I don't trust Penumbra. She's so rude and snarky. I doubt this is how people on Earth act. At least, I hope not. Lunaris puts his hand to the rock, and half of the Moon dissipates away, revealing a huge city made entirely of gold.

He says, "Welcome to Tranquility."

Mom exclaims, "Wait. This whole time there's been a city here?! And we've been slumming it in the Moon desert?!"

Penumbra replies, "I told you you were dummies."

Mom continues, "And you guys had food and weapons and... gold!"

Lunaris chuckles, saying, "It's our most plentiful resource. We use it for everything."

Penumbra adds, "Sometimes we just throw it in the trash, which is also made of gold."

Mom replies, "Wow. That is incredibly infuriating, but amazing!" She hugs Penumbra as she laughs, "Ha ha ha ha! We can fix our ship!"

Penumbra exclaims, "Your attempts to wrestle me to the ground are pathetic!"

Mom stops hugging her, exclaiming, "See? Best friends!"

I force myself to smile when Mom looks at me. She grabs a handful of gold, and we head back to dig up the Spear.

[cat-downthestreet]

Hey ladies! People with uteruses, women, AFAB people, however you'd like to be called. It doesn't really matter for this post; all that matters is that you have a menstrual cycle, because that's what affects this particular thing.

Also, be prepared for extreme cringe. I swear I have a really good and positive point to make here, I just happen to be cheesy and sappy and it rubbed off on this post.

So, today I read a couple comments online and felt a little inspired to make a post that I would've liked to see when I was in my teens. Here's my little nugget of wisdom:

You know the little bump on your stomach? That part that always seems to be missing in photos of women's stomachs and drawings of female characters? It's not always missing, we're getting better about that as a society, but you know what I mean. The little bit of fat that sticks out and makes your stomach seem less flat than you think it should be. I call it the Chub.

A lot of teenage girls spend their time in front of a mirror wondering if this is normal. "Is my stomach too fat?" "Do I need to exercise more?" "Am I eating too much?"

And believe me, I know what that's like. In the ninth grade, while enduring extreme bullying, I spent many weeks skipping meals a bit more than usual because I didn't know my body was normal. I thought the little bit of fat I had there was from laziness and gluttony, and not something natural. And mind you, I was already underweight. My frame and body type always makes it seem like I'm malnourished even when 115-135 pounds is a natural weight for me and people in my family. But during that time, I was trying to get my weight down to 100. It didn't help with the other thoughts in my head, thoughts that were telling me the world was better off without me. So I kept going without food, trying to get my weight down.

In the end, I survived. I was okay. I started eating more and moved to a better place, where I met some great friends and got a fresh start at a new high school.

But teenage me didn't know that it was normal for a teenage girl to have a bit of fat on my stomach.

How many teenage girls are out there right now, wondering the same thing without knowing how natural and healthy it is to have that extra cushioning on their stomachs?

If there are any teenagers reading this post, please remember this:

The Chub is completely natural to have and is even a sign of health!

It has a special purpose too: protecting your vital organs, especially the reproductive system. It's meant to keep what's in there safe, regardless of whether or not you intend on using that system. And it's completely normal to have, in fact, most AFAB people develop it around puberty!

(Quick side note: natural doesn't necessarily mean universal. Trans men often lose the Chub during HRT, and trans women gain it. Also, not every AFAB or transfem person will gain it in the first place.)

So then there's probably a nagging question in your mind: what size is a normal size for the Chub?

It's a little complicated, but that's only because the size fluctuates so frequently throughout your life that the answer doesn't lie in a one-size-fits-all type of deal. Especially since the reasons for why these fluctuations happen are varied among individuals and rarely universal.

So, here's a quick and easy guide to All The Things That Affect Chub Size!

The Chub may seem larger than usual if you put on a little weight over, say, a long break (which happened to me a lot in high school), or if your cycle sometimes comes with a bit of bloating or weight gain. Sometimes the Chub will get bigger just because you had a nice meal one night, and by the next day, it'll be small again. Stress can also make the Chub larger, just like how stress affects your menstrual cycle.

Your cycle- and, by proxy, the Chub- can also change due to the season or time of day, or even whether you've moved to a new place, made changes to your diet, or started a new big thing in your life.

The point I'm making is, the Chub will change a lot throughout your life. It's not going to go away, and it's not something you can get rid of by exercising or starving yourself. In fact, trying to get rid of extra fat like that- the starving, I mean- is extremely unhealthy and will only cause more pain for you. Exercise is good in moderation and with care. As long as you're doing it safely and not because you want to lose weight you don't need to, that's fine. But that won't get rid of the Chub either, because you'll still have it- just in the form of abdominal muscles that become more prominent as you exercise.

(This is not to say that overweight- or worse, obese people should not exercise to lose weight. I'm just saying that unless a doctor says you need to exercise to lose weight, you shouldn't be trying to lose weight by exercising. You don't need to lose the weight in the first place. Getting into shape could help make you feel more confident, though, so if you're exercising for that reason, go right ahead! But again, moderation and care are important. Make sure your body isn't suffering while you do it.)

And remember: the Chub is normal. Having a little extra cushioning anywhere is normal. It only becomes a problem when it's a threat to your health. Trust your doctors first and foremost when it comes to healthy weight. They know what they're doing, and if you really do need to change something to lose weight or anything like that, THEY WILL TELL YOU. Otherwise, you are fine.

Conclusions:

You are beautiful if you have the Chub. You are beautiful if your Chub also includes stomach rolls. If you don't have a Chub, that's fine, too! It's also okay if your Chub is a little small, or a little big. And it's okay if your Chub isn't limited to your stomach.

A little bit of fat is healthy, no matter where it is. The golden rule is, as long as it doesn't affect your health or well-being, it is okay to be a little chubby in some places.

And finally:

You don't have to love your Chub, but you should always remember that it's important to your health.

Take care.

[lily-orchard-gossip-blog]

I feel like Lily doesn't understand how gross it is to say anyone who likes Hunter is a white supremacist. My father is part of a white supremacist Asatru cult. I was raised in that. No one in those circles would watch The Owl House at all because it has Luz as the main character, period, end of discussion. You know what people in those circles DO do in response to shows like TOH? They reblog posts about how bad it is, they tell other people IRL about horrible things in the show that may/may not be there, they try to make it fail and create a public backlash so it gets canceled. They try to make other people give up on it and get into shows with white male leads instead.

A lot of people in my dad's social circles loved Lily's video on Steven Universe, not because they agree with anything she said, but because it got people to drop a show full of POC and racially coded POC characters, and because she was tearing down a Jewish showrunner. They shared it on their social media not because they're woke but because many of them are not open about their beliefs and videos by a "Native American" trans woman decrying a queer POC-heavy show is a good smokescreen for them.

And if she had any relevance these days or her videos weren't so rambling, takes like 'you need to stop liking TOH, people in the fandom are white supremaicsts' would be getting passed on from people in those circles because it'd help kill the fandom for another POC heavy queer show.

In the same way that people my dad knows use people like Candace Owens and Ben Shapiro to feign that they don't hate minorities while signal-boosting people who are anti-black, anti-queer and have internalized bigotry in order to get those anti-progressive messages out there, Lily is very useful for white supremacists in the animation fandom - of which there are many, speaking from experience.

Lily sounds more like my dad than she does anyone who ever showed up to counter-protest a white power demonstration. I know, because until my mother got custody of me last year (I'm 16), I had to attend those, even though I didn't agree, because my dad would've beaten the shit out of me if he'd ever gotten any inkling I hadn't been sufficiently brainwashed.

Sorry for the lengthy vent post. I just find this rhetoric so dangerous. I don't know if she knows the hands she's playing into but it's bad either way.

.

[arnoldpalmerisgay]

Magical Girls and the Genre

So for a while now I've been following Kiana Mai's magical girl series and that got me thinking, what takes a magical girl? Now of course the first things that pop up are, it's about girls not women, they have some sort of familiar/creature that guides them/gave them the power, the fight of magical or fantastical villains, and wear cute clothes while fighting.

Now let's say you change one of those things, maybe it's the age, the gender, the relationship between the creature and magical girl, or that the magical girls are the evil ones. If you do any of those things, is it still a magical girl story? It depends, because not only are there key characteristics of the genre, but there is a purpose.

As we all know, the magical girl genre is meant for girls, and I feel at times we can forget how important that is. When we think "meant for" people tend to go very surface level with what that means. "Well it's about girls and they do girly things so it's for girls." There is so much neglected in that statement about something being meant for girls. It's not just that they are girls doing "girly" things, what makes this so strongly for tween and teen girls is also the struggles and joys of those years, the coming of age story if you will. Along with that, having the characters be feminine and kicking butt also makes this audience have a sense of joy and strength within their femininity. Now why is this important, well let's go back to the first question, if you change one thing characteristic of the genre, is the story still a magical girl story?

If you change the age, I say kinda, and here's why. If you change the age, the story is no longer a coming of age and presents a whole new situation and walk of life, however it can still be a subgenre since it still keeps the other characteristics in tact especially the focus on a female character and her story.

If you change the gender...it gets more complicated. For one is the character transgender and is this introduced from the start or as the series goes on? If the person is MtF regardless of where in their transition, it definitely is a magical girl story just through a trans girl lense rather than a cis girls perspective. If the character is Enby, FtM, Intersex, or a Cisboy, then this would be a subgenre so long as the feminine aspect to an extent and other characteristics remain in tact. I say this because once the femininity of the story is gone, then it no longer falls in a subgenre and rather becomes it's own genre.

Now as for the other characteristics, I think those are based off execution of the concept. Because as long as the intended purpose of telling a girl's story of adolescents is still a core part of the story, then it's a magical girl story. Otherwise the further it deviates the more it'll become a subgenre or completely unrecognizable as a magical girl story and be it's own thing separate from the genre. And you know that's not necessarily a bad thing so long as your goal isn't to stay in the genre but rather be inspired by it. Like hell Steven Universe is very inspired by the magical girl genre.

But yeah idk, I kinda just wanted to talk about my thoughts on this especially since I really love magical girl media and adjacent stuff and one day I'd also like to make a magical girl story specifically a theatrical story since that sounds so fun.

[pinkpinkmermayyy]

Ok ftm!Miguel time

V. is bi btw. Ik I've never said this before, but V. is bisexual no matter what universe or version. It's one of the few constants of her character. Part of what makes her her. (just like it does me)

Imagine if V. were there for the transition. The way she'd look at him like he's art because of how wonderfully confident he's getting. The dysphoria is getting less and less for him, even if it never truly goes away. That makes her cry a little, seeing him truly comfortable in his own skin.

She'd be there at every appointment (unless asked otherwise). Every surgery, every step. She was there when he was toying with various hairstyles, playing with it no matter what. Buzzcut? Playing with it. Short curls? Playing with it. Mullet? Playing with it. Eventually we got to the one he has now, which is what he's most comfortable with. I think that if Miguel ever got bottom surgery, she'd come prepared with PLENTY of dick jokes while also helping with recovery.

I feel like half of his fashion taste would come from her finding him things and being like "I think he'd look delicious in this," and then being correct. The other half is literally just how soft it is. Miguel loves soft things, and men's clothes are always soft for some stupid reason.

I think she'd subconsciously whisper a "You're so handsome..." that has his heart doing gymnastics and shit. Ever since he started transitioning, the way she looks at him has gotten more intense. Somehow even more admiring and loving. His security in his own skin has lead her to losing her mind for him somehow even more than before. Keep in mind she was always stupidly in love. She ALWAYS thought he was beautiful and the most attractive person on the planet. And then he began transitioning and became more confident??? Oh it was so over for her.

He loves it. The loving attention and admiration. The support and validation. Her telling him "hey it's a girl's night, piss off" with a grin became a CORE memory for him. Being introduced to her mom as her boyfriend also became a core memory. Her burying her face in his neck to smell his cologne is something he thinks about often. She was there for literally all of it, even when he didn't know what he wanted to call himself yet. When he was still his deadname. When he didn't even know what he was, just knowing he wasn't a girl. Their lives are so intertwined, to tell the story of only one without the other is to be blatantly wrong.

OMGOMGOMGONGOMGOMG

I love it when trans people slowly become more confident in themselves as they transition, like they become more willing to explore and try new things on life and become comfortable in their identity because they truly are themselves. They’re finally not hiding under a cracking shell of themselves that could break at any moment. V. also finding that attractive of Miguel and reaffirming to him that he is indeed a man is just so amazing THEY ARE LITERALLY SO CUTE I LOVE THEM <33333