#if that's true i'm gonna DIE
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i think i may be started all three classes tomorrow instead of two and if so i'm gonna kms.
#mads makes a text post#college life#grad school#when i signed up the catalog said i'll have two 10 week courses from aug-oct#and another 10 week course from sept-dec#but that class is apparently 15 weeks now....#if that's true i'm gonna DIE#three classes up at bat and working and doing other things#sighs unless you want to be like me and get things done quickly#do NOT go to grad school full time if you still want a life#i'm sad i'm gonna have to tell a friend i probably can't hang out this week :/
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"asexual discourse" is so funny cause dude that's not discourse and it's never been discourse. it's not an argument and it's not a conversation bitches are just yelling at us unprompted and then making up people to get mad at 😭
#exclusionists will act like they're in the fucking trenches when they're posting#as if they're not taking the time to walk into someone else's community without provocation and start being nasty.#saw a post the other day that was saying smth aphobic and was like 'it's true and we should be allowed to say it'#babe nobody's Stopping you. you can say whatever the fuck you want.#thing is though that when you say shitty things. people don't typically like it <3#anyway die mad sorry that you fell for heteronormativity and amatonormativity and assume both to be the norm.#i'm gonna keep creating community with other queer people and you are more than welcome to go off and die alone <3#also if you're fr going into ace discourse in the year of our lord 2024. jesus fucking christ get a hobby#aromantic#aromanticism#arospec#aroace#aspec#talking#asexual#ace discourse#ace exclusion
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My winner 💚
Y'ALL BETTER GO STREAM CHA CHA CHA
#eurovision#esc 2023#Finland#käärijä#I was supposed to go back to work but i had to do this so i can feel better#I'm gonna die mad about this#It's oke babygirl you win in the eyes of the people#artists on tumblr#He's the true eurovision blorbo#Last esc post I'm sorry#Aki can art#Aki's blorbos
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I've already spoke in length about Orym's self-sacrificial tendencies in my 'Orym is a rabbit' post, but don't think I've forgotten about Miss Horse Girl giving Iphigenia vibes over here I just have some concerns about Imogen, whether willingly or forced, becoming a vessel for Predathos (you know, the same entity that Orym tried to comprehend for a single heartbeat and began screaming uncontrollably, had to be cradled like an infant by the Wildmother while he sobbed, and now something inside of him is irreversibly broken). Like I just think that letting an eldritch monster of hunger and oblivion possess you is maybe not a great idea?
One is a rabbit pushing his head willingly into the snare, the other is an ancient Greek princess about to be sacrificed on the altar so the war may continue, and I am asking them both very nicely to Please Stop That and Not Die 🙏💕
#imogen nooooo step away from the altar!!! there is no wedding there is only death for you here!!! you are not a lamb to be slaughtered!!!#orym noooo stay away from the wire!!! the true nature of rabbits is to survive not to give themselves to death!!! you are more than prey!!!#doomed wlw mlm solidarity I suppose#I'm obviously nervous about Orym sacrificing himself but I'm also very worried about Imogen#that she'll either be persuaded or coerced into becoming the vessel#like ludinus is gonna pull some shit and hold Laudna or Lilianna hostage to make her do it#you know after all this speculation it would be kind of funny (derogatory) if someone else in bells hells dies instead#just to spite me for not paying attention to them#(and by funny I mean extremely Unfunny. if any of these bitches die I'm gonna be so mad)#also I'm nervous about Fearne too irt the vessel thing I just think imogen is more likely to be pushed into it#since she's exaltant and Fearne isn't#needless to say if Fearne dies I will be Very Extremely Pissed Off about it too#critical role#orym#orym of the air ashari#imogen#imogen temult#bells hells#critical role spoilers#critical role campaign 3#non witcher
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You seriously can't tell me they don't make you have butterflies in your stomach and scream in your pillowー
Credits: Operation: True love by kkokkalee and art by Dledumb
#AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#why are they so hot#im gonna die#i love them#they are going to be the death of me#they're so pretty#eunhyeok#eunhyeok go#baek dohwa#dohwa#operation: true love#eunhyeok x reader#baek dohwa x reader#you better believe they are my wallpaper#i can't handle so much cuteness#my loves#i'm gonna go feral#i cant stop giggling#my cheeks are red#ahhh he’s so cute#he could do anything to me#they're so hot#and for what#AHHH I THINK IM GONNA GO INSANE#i'm obsessed#i'm gonna go to bed#byeeeee#dohwa baek
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notice how as soon as Logan saw Wade wasn't gonna let up on the "I need you" bullshit, Logan started to self-sabotage?
#very demure very mindful#rewatching the worst wolverine is like looking into a true mirror for me#there's no wade to speak of but the self loathing and the self sabotaging behavior is incredibly same text same font#i get Logan. his character speaks to me in a way i'm both comfortable and infuriated by#bECAUSE WHAT THE FUCK#YOU'RE GONNA BE IN MY SCREEN AND YOU'RE GOING TO SHOW EVERY TENDENCY THAT YOU HATE YOURSELF?#SAME#MOOD#YOU'RE GONNA GO THROUGH THE VOID WITH SUICIDAL RED CONDOM MCMOUTH AND SACRIFICE YOURSELF FOR HIS UNIVERSE AT THE END OF IT ALL? FOR WHAT#FOR THE SALVATION HE GRANTED YOU AND YOU UNCONSCIOUSLY GRANTED HIM IN RETURN?#no cap i want to maraca this worst wolverine. give him the shake weight treatment.#and water him like he was a dehydrated potted plant too#all the smooches and the encouragement#when i'm done venting my shit#lol#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool#wolverine#deadpool 3#logan howlett#wade wilson#poolverine#deadclaws#deadpool 2024#Logan my brother if someone told me they needed me when I'm at my lowest most miserable state AND THEN their actions prove they needed me#ngl#i'd kill and die for them too my brother#i gET you
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can we have a hint about what the spring break tim patrol chapter of red letter day contains? (you kept having dick say "if the joker shows up" and tim's "he won't." for me to be convinced that goes off without any trouble)
i'm sure it'll be fine. :D
i am delighted you're enjoying the story <333 i haven't updated it in soooo long but i got some very sweet comments lately so i have been looking at my scribbles again <3
#tim: he WON'T show up okay?? and if he did i'd be FINE. dick thinks i'm gonna fall on my face if i do anything on my own ever#dick: that is not true!! that is NOT what i said stop putting words in my mouth#tim: i literally watched this entire city by myself for FOUR YEARS and don't say bruce was here because lots of the time he wasn't#dick: listen i am JUST SAYING that last year you almost DIED A HORRIBLE DEATH a lot#dick: and i personally rescued you from near-death experiences & you were not exactly helpful or forthcoming#dick: so sue me if i'd just like to clarify that i will at least get a PHONE CALL if something goes wrong#dick: as opposed to OH I DON'T KNOW you go off to fight jason or ra's al-ghul behind my back and then you almost DIE#dick: and i have to go chasing after you AFTER THE FACT because you didn't bother to explain to me the stupid thing that you were gonna do#tim: that was NOT stupid and -- i KNEW you were still mad at me about that --#dick (unconvincingly): i'm not mad at you (more convinced) YOU'RE still mad at ME --#tim (unconvincingly): no i'm not. (more convinced) look i get it you obviously think that i suck which fine WHATEVER --#dick: i never said that and i'm just asking for the basic professional courtesy of a heads-up!! the city's my responsibility so -#tim: i know you're on a power trip about this but gotham is actually MY city too so --#dick: excuse me i am NOT on a power trip. i'm BATMAN which means that --#tim: you sure are#dick: oh don't even go there - let me point out that ONE of us is being an uncommunicative jerk and it ISN'T ME --#tim: you are literally trying to micromanage how i do a milk run that i could do backwards with my eyes blindfolded --#dick: i'm not micromanaging!! nightclubs can be -- i have a NORMAL degree of CONCERN okay so --#tim: -- so either you're lying to me or you think i suck; how exactly am i supposed to tell you stuff if you don't trust me -#dick: what?! i trust you!!! i just --#tim: you just DON'T trust me??#dick (trapped): i trust you. i'm just saying. if for example the joker -#tim (defensive): who i could handle#dick: or jason -#tim: who i could also handle!!! try to be a little less condescending maybe#dick: oh come ON. look you're obviously kinda testy about me going out of town which fine whatever but i'm just trying to -#tim (testily): i'm not testy. what does that even mean 'testy'
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If the Spirit!Solas theory happens to be true—and I’m confident it is—then it really gives you a new level of respect for how much restraint this guy has.
I’m talking specifically about his interactions with Dorian. The part where Dorian is trying to convince Solas that enslaving spirits is cool and neat and not wrong because ‘spirits aren’t people.’
Imagine having the strength of character to listen to someone tell you to your face that you are not a person and therefore undeserving of the most basic civil rights without immediately decking them in the face.
Solas puts up with tool much, man.
Oh yeah, definitely! 😂 (As much as I feel for Dorian just trying to find some common ground...) I guess that one line in Tevinter Nights does a great job of putting Solas' attitude on this matter in a nutshell.
[…] roared not in anger, but with quiet contempt. "From this moment, should you ever bind a spirit, then your life is mine."
Keep in mind, Solas has witnessed spirits suffering from the consequences of creating the Veil for at least a thousand years at this point, if only from the Fade. When he's saying "It hurts. It always does." to the Inquisitor after returning to Skyhold and Wisdom's death, he's referring to the countless times he had to watch his friends being drawn to the waking world, either forced, or to see them “wish to join the living”, only to be twisted, bound, corrupted, killed, you name it.
"How small the pain of one man seems when weighed against the endless depths of memory, of feeling, of existence. That ocean carries everyone. And those of us who learn to see its currents move through life with their fewer ripples."
Much like a lot of his banter with Sera taunting him about his grief for the past, at this point, Solas is so old and has witnessed so much history, so much pain, that Dorian's remarks couldn't possibly evoke any real anger from him. It's so insignificant compared to what he has seen. There's a reason why Weekes keeps emphasizing how friggin tired Solas truly is. This is after all the general perception of spirits in present Thedas, aside from a few cultures like the Avvar. He can't blame Dorian for Tevinter raising him to think of spirits as nothing more than "amorphous constructs", just like he can't blame the Dalish for the knowledge lost to time. Similarly to any other argument he has with the other companions, Solas' frustration/resentment is almost never aimed at them personally, but rather at the current state of the world that shaped their perspective. (As is also evident in how his banter always ends up with them eventually coming to terms and grow a mutual/respectful relationship. The only exception being a low approval Inquisitor and Iron Bull if he chose the Qun over the Chargers… In that case, the hostility was definitely personal. 😂)
(That being said, I'm SO hoping for any kind of serious emotional outbreak from Solas in DA4, since there's still like a thousand year old trauma that needs to be addressed. lol)
But yeah, I think, going by his actions in Tevinter Nights, Tevinter is definitely not ready for what's probably coming for them in DA4, now that Solas is actually able to change things. 👀 And isn't it interesting how he will now be facing the Imperium, which was essentially built on the ruins of the empire he brought down/the same slavery based system he once rebelled against, so history kinda repeats itself? lol
I think it's also very telling how Solas will immediately counter Dorian's comments on the treatment of spirits in Tevinter by directly comparing it to slavery.
Dorian: "There's no harm putting them to constructive use, and most mages back home treat them well." Solas: "And any that show any magical talent are freed, are they not?" Dorian: "What? Spirits don't have magical talent." Solas: "Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were talking about your slaves."
But the beautiful irony in this, as I've talked about in this post, is how this draws a direct parallel to how Solas, in return, doesn't recognize the people of the waking world as real either, at least not until after the Inquisitor considers Wisdom a living being worth saving. This and his admission to the Inquisitor after he returns to Skyhold is imo the turning point in his character development. Imo, this is what leads him to say "Not at first. You showed me that I was wrong." in his high approval ending in Trespasser.
And this is also why I think that the theory of Solas intending to save the spirits first and foremost would make for such an interesting story actually.
The waking world doesn't view spirits as real people. Just like Solas can't accept the people of the waking world as real. So, what will happen if he tears down the Veil, and the Fade and the waking world become one again? The Inquisitor was potentially willing to save Wisdom despite it having already turned into a Pride demon. And in doing so, the Inquisitor unintentionally put up a mirror in front of Solas' face and basically went "If I can see them as real people worth saving, why can't you?".
And if the spirit origin theory is true, then it could make for a fascinating inner conflict. Solas, living in both the waking world and the Fade, having been a spirit and a corporeal person, is now facing the question of who "his people" actually are. Where does he belong? After all, his biggest fear remains to "die alone".
While this was said in more of a joking manner, Weekes' words from 2016 really put it into perspective here. Solas sees himself in that old fisherman he saw in the Fade. He is "the one who lived". So, I picture it like this… Solas is left alone in the Fade after the creation of the Veil. Spirits are now his only company for the next thousand years. Whether or not those spirits were the remaining souls of the elves he tried to save, we don't know, but regardless, I truly believe they are his people. But he is not a spirit. At least, not anymore.
Cole: "You don't need to envy me, Solas. You can find happiness in your own way." Solas: "I apologize for disturbing you, Cole. I am not a spirit and sometimes it hard to remember such simple truths." Cole: "They are not gone so long as you remember them." Solas: "I know." Cole: "But you could let them go." Solas: "I know that as well." Cole: "You didn't do it to be right. You did it to save them." Inquisitor: "Solas, what is Cole talking about?" Solas: "A mistake. One of many by a much younger elf who was certain he knew everything."
In this banter, Cole reveals to us that Solas' mind immediately goes from "It's hard for me to accept I'm not a spirit" to "the people that were lost when Solas created the Veil". To me, this pretty much confirms that the people of Elvhenan and spirits are connected, if not one and the same. It's assumed that the Evanuris mined the Titans to somehow create bodies for spirits to inhabit, and that Mythal gave Solas a body against his will. There's also the theory about the creation of the Veil having caused the separation of body and spirit.
You know, I've written so much about this in previous posts and I don't want to sound like a broken record, but if we consider all those little clues and look at all of his dialogue in that context, it just makes so much sense to me, that what he wants to do is primarily to save the spirits/destroy the barrier for them to enter the waking world without their purpose getting corrupted. There's also still the matter of the Blights and red lyrium otherwise probably consuming the entire world. 😅 I think that's what he's referring to when saying "What I am doing will save this world" in Tevinter Nights.
And remember, "Dread Wolf" is still literally an anagram for "World" and "Fade". 😂 Both worlds colliding is quite literally in his title. lol Whatever the six eyed high dragon sized Dread Wolf actually is, as far as we know, he only seems to exist within the Fade, but how exactly is he connected to Solas and what will happen to him if he tears down the Veil (which btw is also definitely gonna happen… I mean, besides the fact that the Veil is getting weaker regardless of Solas' actions)? ANYWAY.
Sorry for rambling so much (and I feel like my English is a little rusty, too 😖), but I haven't talked about this stuff in a while and the lack of news is killing me. 😂 But your message gave me something to think about again, so thank you! :)
#oh no this got so long again 😖#solas#also again Bioware I beg you please give us that ''Solas calling his spirit army and charging into battle'' moment from TN 👀#tinfoil time#da4#''Spirit self. Seeing the soul. Solas. But somehow sorrows.''#watch us play DA4 one day and none of this turn out to be true 😂#but I'm gonna die on that hill lol
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no thoughts only sanuso cuddling in the middle of the night while everyone else is sleeping and sanji hugging usopp from behind, burying his nose on his hair and pressing his fingertips on usopp's waist saying "is it selfish to say that i like it better when you're only with me?" and usopp grabs one of his hands and kisses it, muttering on his freezing palm: "maybe. i think you deserve to be selfish, though, so it's fine. i like when nobody is around, too."
#they're so personal so important to me so domestic so genuine#tomorrow i have to go to work and yet i'm still here talking abt sanuso at 5 am#i love them a bit possessive and protective#it's just that sanji is his true self when he's around usopp only and usopp is more of himself when they're alone#i'm gonna die and the cause of death will be shipping sanuso#one piece#sanuso#sanji#usopp
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Jason nerdy jock moodboard
Requested by: me
x x x x x x x x x
#frog's boards#moodboard#starkid#nerdy prudes must die#jason jepson#corey dorris#npmd#football#nerd#high school#high school aesthetic#making true on my promise to love on corey characters#jason is so everything to me#also pinterest#why the fuck is it so difficult to find pictures of black people#wanna talk to me about that pinterest??#i'm gonna throw hands#american football#geek#arcade#dnd
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you: nicholas alexander chavez, the actor from ryan murphy's recent work
me, a mama's girl and daytime tv viewer:
#text post#general hospital#nicholas alexander chavez#spencer cassadine#sorry i'm still not over my shock at this lol#i remember asking my mom MONTHS ago (she follows general hospital news online) 'hey wheres spencer i havent seen him in awhile?'#'oh his character died off. the actor is doing some netflix show where he plays a murderer'#and you have to understand. i dont consume anything to do w true crime. but to my 63-year-old mother. ryan murphy doesnt exist#so bc of just how self-contained the archaic institution of network soap operas are. i just. idk i didnt assume it was a big role#it didnt register to me that it was the sequel to the dahmer show. is what i am saying. and i never thought about it again#mommy made it sound like he might be coming back bc soap opera characters fake-die all the time#and so i put the thought out of my head until completely independently i was watching a video about monsters: menendez being flawed#and i was like. going absolutely insane w how familiar he looked i was like 'ok i know that man cant be too famous but i KNOW him'#'i know him from something and i know him WELL from something. like whatever hes from is iconic to me'#and then the video creator said his name and i was like THATS INSANE WHERE DO I KNOW THAT NAME??!?!??#it's a name i read in the credits but probably never thought in my head at all bc sorry he's just spencer to me#so i googled it and i was gobsmacked. i was like MOM DIDNT SAY he was gonna be in THIS SHIT!?!?!?#i also do lay my life down on the defense that the cinematography of a prestige netflix drama makes him less recognizable to me#who knew him best under cheap soap opera lighting in basic back and forth dialogue shots. like#i have to be honest i never cared for his looks on gh bc he just kinda looked like too perfect. like he looked like a mannequin#i see it now though i get it#i get why he's very fan editable to the true crime girlies i get it#not that it matters. im just in mourning bc it never occurred to me the spencer era was over. i actually liked his character#i cant tell u why bc he wasnt all that distinguishable from all the other basic dramatic character archetypes. idk it was a good performanc#i cant explain to u what makes a soap opera character distinct while still being completely generic (they all are)#i also liked his relationship w his girlfriend in the show it was cute. he was evil but they were sweet#nicky please come back. im begging u. as your only general hospital era fan who is your age#i dont wanna watch monsters menendez i reeeeeally dont
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Didn't felt like mentioning it immediately but shoutout to my sick and twisted brain for getting so triggered by an unexpected Christmas parade that I ended up havin the absolute worst panic attack of my entire life (potentially the only real one? I've had a couple other episodes I thought of as panic attacks but they were not even close to that so who knows) to the point where I spent the very last day of my 30th year on this earth in the ER, good times, good times 😊
#that was 10 days ago and i honestly was fine immediately after it ended so don't worry for me <3#but yeah this shit was crazy holy hell#like i knew intellectually that 'feeling like you're dying' is a symptom of a panic attack but *actually* feeling it is another thing...#and even at the worst i was like 'ok i'm clearly having a panic attack it's not nice but it's gonna be ok'#but there was a piece of my brain that was like 'ok but what if your mom or grandma had told themselves that...'#'when they were having heart attack? They would have died and so will you 😊'#and i was like shit can't argue with that better get my ass to the hospital before i die#spoiler alert: i didn't died#ironically enough the revolting state of our healthcare system is lowkey what helped me calmed the fuck down#because i was tiny but i do remember when my mom had her heart attack and they sure as hell didn't let her wait for 7h+#so when i realized that this is what was gonna happen after i spent a brief moment with a nurse i was just like...oh i'm fine actually lol#and then i had to go take the bus in my fake crocs that i usually never wear outside of the house smh#interestingly enough my phobia of hospital seems to have competely disappear! which makes me believe that it was more a trauma response#than an actual phobia#not that the name changes that much but still interesting development#also no i'm not wearing a mask because nobody gave me one#that's actually one of the thing that made me leave lmao#oh and btw the christmas parade is true but also a bit more complex than that#basically i had a full sleepless night and i was mad so i decided to go buy myself some weed#turned out that there was a huge christmas parade 5 minutes away from the weed store so i hade to find another way#and then i got lost on the way back#and saw no less than 3 big fights between different homeless people#including one man randomly kicking another man's dog (which kinda really messed with me tbh)#and then i smoked a big joint (first one in like 10 days) with 0 sleep and zero food in my body#and then i took the bus#and then the bus driver yelled at an elderly man for not waiting at the right place#and then i took a sip of water and for some truly strange reason my brain decided that the water had gone in my lungs#and that i was actively drowning#and the rational part of me was like...girl that's not what drowning feels like what are you even talking about??#and then my brain went 'well if we're not drowning than we're having a heart attack'
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Me playing again KH2 and seeing Luxord Heartless. A bit familiar by his design with the Lich ? (And by the name because Grim Reaper is also a "Death" vocabulary's family )
The same Heartless that pushed Sora using the power of awakening the time too many and causing him to finish in Quadratum. Where the "Luxord looking driver guy" is ?
Plus they share some same elements:
- the design/name like I said. By the sad eyes with the red version and the Lich.
-the symbolism of cupidity. If Reaper is the Greed of Jack for gold, the Lich is Sora's Greed for his friends. And these two Heartless try to steal it by inducing death to their victims (Jack by keeping the Aztec coffin curse in place and Sora by using a magic that cost him something)
-Reaper appeared in the only world with "real humans" and the Lich is kind of a guardian gates to a "real human world that happens to be imagination but in this world the imagination is Sora's reality". I know there were also Reapers in Dark Road but I don't really remember what kind of Greed they represent (Queen of Heart ? Keyblade Weilders gang greed for I don't remember what ?).
Another hints to link Luxord to the mysterious driver...
That guy is pretty enigmatic. He knows things but nit everything...
...Don't judge me...I'm waiting KH Missing Link and KH4 news the best I can.
#kh#kingdom hearts#kh theory#kh headcanons#losing my mind#plz help#Rage form is my helmet#because my own form is Madness for the Wait#and I also run like a shadow Gollum from my cave when I see shinny KH stuff or crazy theories/headcanons#threw me in a volcano#but only after KH licence true ending#And if you're asking yes I stopped the cutscenes for 20 minutes just to make that post#now I'm gonna kick is ass like Roxas kicked Saix#or I'll die by trying#edit: i won with only two hits because i wanted to end it quickly#too bad for a no hit fight :((#i wanted to feel like Yozora. maybe later#by the way he has ANOTHER Lich looking Heartless !#My conspiracy head has the biggest aluminium hat ever on top of her
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Man. I am so goddamn tired.
#Seta Speaks#Can't wait for the US Supreme Court to be a 7-2 conservative majority for the rest of my goddamn fucking life.#Also anyone scapegoating third-party or Latinx voters for this; no offense but y'all are playing right into what Reps WANT you to do#--which is ignore the fact that the overwhelming majority of white people still voted for Trump once again#and in doing so proving a variety of concerns still true. Worst of all that Democrats are unable to appeal to working-class communities#and the average American white man/woman will be drawn to the candidate they think best represents them on a physical level#Scapegoating Latinx voters for shifting rightward while ignoring that is dumb.#Anyway I'm gonna go fucking drink please don't talk to me please don't message me.#Stay safe and stay alive and remember: Trump will die in your lifetime and that's something worth witnessing.
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sorry for only saying this type of shit lately but i kinda wanna drive a car straight into a brick wall at the highest speed possible
#trying to keep it together so bad because i already know the problems and solutions and whatnot but i cannot do anything#i desperately just need to do something. accomplish any task. actually several would be nice. but i cannot stand just letting life go by#while i watch other people have the things i want. or even metaphorically living my dream like. that should be me why am i settling for thi#i hate even talking about this because i feel so stupid when i know it's not even a real tangible problem and that i actually DO have real#problems to tackle and the ability to do so but i'm choosing to be upset over the stupidest things i could possibly be sad about#and i can't even be sad about it in a normal way i'm cycling through like several different reactions to smth that isn't even real#or if it is real i literally do not have tanglible evidence for it one way or another like i'm driving myself insane for no reason#i can't even get catharsis because all i'm doing is digging a deeper hole for something i never should've gone back into in the first place#because i KNOW how i am i KNOW how i react to things and i still chose to do it lmao.#and i continue to choose to go through this shit instead of actively trying to change my life because... i'm lazy? and stupid? idk#negative self-talk isn't gonna get me to do anything either so let's just say i'm feeling particularly unmotivated like usual#i hated being a teenager but i really do miss when all my problems just amounted to 'someone was mean to me on tumblr today :(' or i failed#a test in chemistry or something. like i yearn for that simplicity becasue at this point all i'm doing is ruining my own life LMAO#i'm too scared to live i'm too scared to die so i just sit here and fantasize that life could be amazing if i wait#and i'll magically get everything i've ever wanted if i just wait long enough. and i know it isn't true and i still wait for it to happen.#because honestly like. i think deep down i am just convinced i will fail at anything i do when that shouldn't be what scares me.#what scares me should be never even allowing myself to fail because i never tried to do anything at all with myself or my life#like. wake the fuck up. get off your ass and put in the effort. learn some skills. gain independence and stability and discipline and do it#just live please i'm begging you just live so i can be happy don't i deserve to be happy... why am i not letting myself be happy#i'm literally keeping myself trapped in this negative feedback loop ON PURPOSE because teehee shiny toy#and it doesn't matter if the love is real it doesn't matter how i feel like i'm just using it as a distraction i can't say it's motivation#because it's barely motivated me at all. i have to start being realistic. 25 & just realizing you actually have to participate in your life#anyways. i've cried i've agonized i've pictured killing myself in 30 different ways. i think the only way i'm gonna feel better is#to just actually try this time without giving up. wish me luck
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Did yall not learn from hangman? One word could end someone's life
#sadgirl#i'm sad#im sad and tired#im screaming inside my head#sad boy#sad but true#sad thoughts#depressing shit#sorry for being depressing#tw depressing thoughts#it's true#i care about you#my dms are always open#i hate life#i wanna be pretty#i wanna die#this is depressing#ignore this#this always happens#im gonna go cry now#this is a cry for help#save me#dont report just block#im losing my shit#losing control#i should kms#tw depressing stuff#tw triggers#im going to die#time to kms
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