#if that's the solution thanks i don't want it

[utopiastri]

Put That Guy in a SituationTM - look something about Landoscar in a 20/32 type situation has me hooked….trying to not let others on to their predicament, maybe it’s a bit embarrassing how it happened 🤔

hi anon!!! thank you for the prompt! i went a smidge away from my usual cutesy fluff for this one - your suggestion of embarrassment really sparked something in my brain, even if i took it in a slightly different direction. i hope you enjoy!!!

(prompt list here)

“Look, we just gotta act natural,” Lando says.

Or, well, Lando-as-Oscar says, because it sounds like Oscar’s voice and it’s Oscar’s mouth that’s moving, but it’s Lando that’s actually saying the words and–

Lando-in-Oscar’s-body huffs. “You’re having a crisis again aren’t you?”

“You know it’s weirder of you to be 100% ok with this.”

“It’s a body swap curse, mate, it’s not rocket science.”

Oscar runs a hand through his hair and cringes at the uncanny feeling of there being someone else’s hair on top of his head. “I understand the concept, Lando, what I’m struggling with is everything else related to it like, I don't know, how the fuck this happened."

“I don’t know. Do you reckon we need to have sex to break the curse?”

“What?” Oscar squawks, “Why would we need to have sex to break the curse?”

Lando flushes. “I dunno. Just felt like the right solution.”

“Based on what?”

Lando mumbles something about seeing it online once and Oscar chooses to ask no more follow-up questions lest Lando tells him he learnt about it from some random porn he watched once. He heaves a sigh.

“Listen, like you said, we should just act normal. This whole thing is,” Oscar pauses to search for the right word, “Strange. And I’d really rather not bring anyone else into it to begin with.”

“Agreed,” Lando says before adding, “Hey, if we’re still like this for the race tomorrow and I win but in your body, does that mean you get the points?” Oscar glares at him and Lando pouts. “It’s a genuine question!” he whines.

Oscar’s about to point out they have bigger things to focus on than the effects of this on a race when Jon sticks his head into the room.

“Debrief in five, guys.”

“Sounds good, mate,” Lando says, in an accent no human being has ever used before.

Jon blinks at him. He turns to look at Oscar. Or, rather, he turns to look at Oscar who he thinks is Lando. Oscar smiles weakly.

“He’s, uh, trying to do an impression of me doing an Australian impression," Oscar lies, hoping it sounds vaguely believable.

“Oi!” Lando says, “My Australian accent’s mint.”

“Yes, Oscar,” Oscar says pointedly, “Your Australian accent would be mint because you are from Australia.”

Lando's eyes light up in realisation and he starts nodding furiously. “Right, yep, what he said, exactly.”

Jon blinks at both of them this time. He sighs.

“If you two are doing roleplay, I don’t want to hear about it.” Lando and Oscar both start spluttering, but Jon keeps on talking over both of them. “Just be on time for debrief.”

With Jon gone, Oscar breathes a sigh of relief. Or he starts to, until Lando pipes up.

“I still reckon us having sex will fix it.”

Oscar reminds himself that if he kills Lando right now, he’s possibly going to do irreparable damage to his own body.

The thought’s still tempting.

“Is there a particular reason you’re so desperate to have sex with yourself?” he asks, eyebrow raised.

Lando clearly wasn't expecting that question because he freezes. Oscar’s always hated how easily he flushes but right now, watching it brutally incriminate Lando, he can’t help but be grateful for it.

“I’m not fucking desperate to have sex with myself.” He doesn't sound like he's lying, but the blush on his face suggests he's not telling the whole truth.

Maybe…

His eyebrows raise. “So you’re only desperate to have sex with me then?”

Lando looks up at Oscar, eyes wide. He swallows.

Got you, Oscar thinks to himself.

[heartcircus]

thinking about what foolish told ros after tango insulted her . how he swore he'd do whatever he could to make sure ros felt welcome and safe in the kingdom........ how devastating it would be for her to leave.... oh foolish where r u when we need you.......

Foolish: First of all, you're an absolutely invaluable member to the kingdom, and sure like, y'know. I think you and me might be in the same boat; I don't know if either of us are particularly vicious level 80 archmage warriors of the- of the nighttime terrors, okay? But that doesn't mean- that doesn't mean that like thats where all worth is. Foolish: All worth isn't just your ability to be able to fight and kill and set traps, okay? So, I don't want you to be thinking that way, uh, whatsoever. Uhm, in terms of Tango, I'm definitely gonna have to talk with him because it's one thing- even, even as a joke you can't be- can't be joking around saying some red faction member is more valuable than a- one of our- one of our literally starting members of the kingdom! Foolish: What, 'cause it was you, me, and Owen on that first fateful day and the first basically minutes, for some reason I said 'I'm gonna start a kingdom!' and for whatever reason, you and Owen decided to follow me. Ros: Yeah! Because we- we believed in you. As a king, y'know? Foolish: And with that loyalty, okay, I want to reward it. I want you to be able to continue believing in me. So I want to be able to make any steps to rectify any problems going on, and be able to figure out a way that you can feel happy and safe and feel like a valued member in the kingdom. Ros: Oh. Thank you so much, I appreciate that. Foolish: And I might need a little bit of time to, y'know, come up with the best solution to all this, but I do want you to know that I'm- it does weigh heavy on my mind. 'Cause I think it would be an absolutely devastating thing if- if you weren't happy in the kingdom, or let alone somehow, ended up not wanting to be a part of it anymore. [...] Foolish: And also, on a sidenote, I understand the value in your building. I know I don't really build much anymore, okay, but I understand the long hours, the constant place a block, remove the block, place another block, place it again, take 10 steps back look at it be like 'aw that's not right,' you go back do it all over again. Okay, I get all that okay? And, y'know, I think with any art you'll complete it, or keep working on it, and you'll never get all the props you deserve but just know, I know it's a lot of work. Ros: Thank you, thank you so much. Foolish: Mhm. And having a nice castle is a valuable thing in and of itself.

[areyoudoingthis]

the thing about not fucking up my sleep schedule during the summer so that i don't end up having to suffer through a week of insomnia to fix it (aside from this being a new experience for me, usually i manage to unfuck up my sleep schedule in a day or two) is that staying up all night reading during the summer is literally the reason i stay alive. it may sound dramatic but i spend the whole work year subjecting myself to a hateful schedule of being up before the sun, and the reason i survive it is because i know come january I'll have night after night of reading for hours and hours and hours uninterrupted, peaceful quiet. I've been doing this since I was a child, it kept me going back then too, it's kept me going my whole life. i can't afford a lot of expensive pleasures like traveling, or buying that new gaming pc I've wanted for years, but i can stay up until 6am reading every day for a month. yes I'd love to avoid going through the hell week I've just endured ever again, but if you ask me to sacrifice my favorite summer passtime literally what's the point of being alive

[egophiliac]

did you ever consent to having your art reposted on Pinterest? that's actually how I found you (all of your twst comics are on Pinterest and some brave soul has gone through every single post saying "by egophiliac on Tumblr". the original posters never credit you either :/

nope...I have tried to ask people to take them down in the past, but I usually just get ignored. :') so I do appreciate that people are going through and adding credit, at least!

(the worst is when people actually edit out my signature/watermark to get around do-not-post lists...this has happened more often than you'd think 🙃)

[teganorsara]

Ali Ahn as Eidra Park and Ato Essandoh as Stuart Heyford in

THE DIPLOMAT 1.06

[raycatz]

something something my mom has always been very strict that my family eat healthy. Organic, no junk food, no sugar, etc. but it got to the point of starting to go on fad diets progressively cutting more and more out to try and see what might fix whatever health issue we might have had at the time. no milk. no eggs. no soy. no wheat. no white rice. whatever it was she had read was evil that week. It didn't lead to a very good relationship with food!

anyways this is just to say I am so glad to the summer camp I work at for how good the food is. I am so thankful that camp has the resources to provide us with so many options. when we make pack out requests I can ask for nearly anything. even things that aren't in the kitchen I can request for it to be brought up from a town run. I can even request individual items on recs on the side just for me or my staffmates. An individual yogurt. A single gluten free muffin. And because our kitchen staff are awesome they'll do that for us!

We rarely had strawberries at home 1) because they had to be organic and 2) because organic berries are expensive and my mom would always guilt trip us or point it out when when we got them. But at camp when cooking out it's really common to get strawberries. It's just something you can do. They're not organic and I don't care. I'm just happy to get to eat.

Desserts, too. There will sometimes be a camper who will go, "my mom doesn't want me eating sugar. I should only eat half." Kiddo I won't tell if you don't. Your mom isn't here. I'm happy if you eat and enjoy eating.

One of the things we're taught when trained is to not try and control the kid's eating and thank goodness for it! Just make sure they're eating something. If kiddo doesn't want to eat anything but cheerios for the week- that's fine. They're eating. Offer them what else is available but like, that's it that's enough.

If we have leftovers by the end of the week we'll keep what can be used next session and send the rest home with the campers. Last summer I sent a camper home with two loaves of bread and it was so funny watching them proudly show them off. Last summer kitchen was testing out a teriyaki turkey bacon recipe and they had sooo much leftover, but my unit liked it, and we were able to send all the kids home with a baggie of it. The was a session where we had a lot of leftover apples and dessert toppings so we had a candied apple party with lunch before sending the kids home on the bus. The kids were thrilled! On Mondays, the campers choose what they want to eat at cookouts for the week and then at the cookouts they're part of the process, getting to help start the fire, cook, clean. If they're older, we encourage and guide them to lead cookouts themselves.

There is no evil food. It's one of the most rewarding things to feed these kids!

[smolandweirdwriter]

Tell me about I'm not incompetent (but damn, you make me feel that way) BECAUSE I UNDERSTAND THAT REFERENCE

oooh yay! I'm not incompetent (but damn, you make me feel that way) is a fantasy high fic centering adaine and kristen junior year as they struggle with adhd. it's mostly a (VERY) self-indulgent fic about how neurodivergence is such a, well, diverse experience, even for people with the same neurological disorder/difference, and coming to terms with the fact that everyone's brains work differently, and that that should be a source of pride and joy rather than shame.

I'm pretty sure part of this also entails I provide an excerpt? so here you go-

"Yeah, but -- I mean, Aelwyn did it!" Adaine exclaimed.

Ah, Kristen thought. There it is. "I don't think those are exactly the same set of circumstances," she said, wishing she could find the right thing to say because so far it seemed she hadn't said it.

"You're right!" Adaine burst out. "Hers were harder! My sister managed to keep her grades absolutely perfect while helping an evil being rise to power while running a lucrative drug-dealing business while going to parties where she did said dealing to her classmates, and I never knew she was stressed, and neither did our parents. She managed it! And you're all managing it! And I'm…" Adaine slumped on the edge of the bed and buried her face in her hands as though doing so would make her shame go away. "Why am I not managing it?" she asked quietly, her voice cracking. "I have it easier than most of you, and I'm not managing it at all."

"Adaine…" Kristen said down on the bed next to her. "I'm not managing it. And I don't think Aelwyn was either."

[spiritedstars]

I hate going to the doctor's office. I always end up feeling like shit afterward.

[drysauce]

im still thinking about yesterday when after the cinema i mentioned than when i get home i'll help one girlie from uni with her project because she's stuck to which one of my friends asked why am i helping some random girl instead of my roommate

[bluastro-yellow]

there's only one end-of-the-day debrief :'( ?!?

[biromantic-nerd]

I think representation in characters is so funny bc some people are like "I'm [rep] and that is the WORST rep I've ever seen" and some people are like "I'm [rep] and this rep is so important to me this is exactly my experience"

and by funny I mean no character is going to match every single person's experience simultaneously. Someone might criticize a character for being a stereotype and someone else might recognize themselves in that portrayal. And vice versa, etc, and so on and on forth.

[connyhascontrol]

I went from doing a highly specific job at an agency to having a much broader set of tasks at a small company and still every day experts will call me to offer their services for some of those tasks and I have to be like

[radicallicious]

.

[elytrafemme]

there are some pros of having parents who are doctors but i have to say. the way that my parents particularly my mom do NOT understand how therapy works... 

[blujayonthewing]

JUST remembered that in June's campaign we're trying to help a girl who escaped being arrested into slavery because, it turns out, the local baron wanted to get rid of her because his son fell in love with her despite her being far below his station, and the only reason she escaped in the first place is that the son showed up and fought the guards and caused a big scene and gave her an opening to make a break for it

and Juniper's first love was a noble girl who would only see her in secret, who chatted openly about the wealthy suitors her father had arranged for her, who laughed off June's suggestion that they run away together instead because she had no interest whatsoever in losing or sullying her social status for such a petty, paltry thing as love, and anyway June is feeling so very normal about this side quest

[someonesomewheredown]

I'll always sympathize with mosquitoes solely because everyone really really really hates them. And really likes to tell me that actually they don't provide any use to the ecosystem and things would be fine if we eradicated them completely. Like okay even if you were right and mosquitoes really have no "point" (aka no point in our eyes, of course) why do they need to justify their existence to us? Why can't we just let living things live?