#if that aint bros i dunno what is

[zeynatura]

.

[aria0fgold]

Bro... what happened to my copy of OMORI...

WHY DOES IT LOOK LIKE THAT??? I use 2x Resolution, Windowed mode (I have a fear of putting anything in fullscreen). And the last time I played the game, it did not look like that. It looked like that when I booted it up and thought loading a random save might fix it maybe but no.

This ^^^ is an old screenshot from last time I played where there's no unnecessary black void wasting space.

SO WHAT HAPPENED TO IT NOW??? THERE'S A VOID EVERYWHERE! I didn't touch this game for nearly a year bro, I also didn't touch any of my Steam settings so what the fuck is that.

[doromoni]

Not Over the Papaya | OP81

⊹ ｡•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ

Ships : Oscar Piastri x Popstar! Reader , Ex!Lando Norris x Popstar! Reader

Genre : Fluff Smau

A/N : I wrote 2 chapters worth of material today … but imma make y’all wait for tomorrow 🤠👹

Face claim : Jennie Kim

Warnings : Moderate Cursing

Summary : Y/N and Oscar cope with their own breakups by making the Heartbreak Club.

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

< Previous | Part 3 | Next >

*message sent

Notification : You received a message from Oscar

*Incoming Call from Oscar

Pick up or Decline

Pick up

“Hi Osc”

“Hi to you too. You sound so sleepy”

“Yeah, I didn’t get that much sleep on the plane.”

“I told you to limit your coffee intake. I’m not there to stop you , you gremlin control yourself”

“I know I knowww”

“So why’d you wanna call? You should sleep”

“Its just weird that I’ve gotten to see your face practically everyday since last month and now I wont see you for like 2 weeks”

“Well we both work very hectic jobs, so that would be expected. But yeah ~ i’ve gotten used to your presence”

“ Hey Osc… Is it weird to say that I already miss your voice? “

“Only my voice?”

“Well your voice is like Jake Sully y’know.”

“You and your Avatar obsession . And I do not sound like Sam Worthington”

“Who??”

“The guy who voices Jake Sully”

“Ok but how do you know that?? I don’t even know that at the top of my head. I just like Jake cause he’s hot”

“I know that because you forced me to watch blue people run and swim for 10 freaking times!”

“Well you made me watch Cars with you on repeat!”

“You also loved Cars! what do you mean?”

“Ok, I do but that’s besides the point”

“What is your point dweeb?”

“ My point is that I miss you already”

“Well I miss you too”

- Hey Osc, is that Lily? -

“Hey I’ll be back. Lando’s talking to me. Don’t hang up, alright?”

- What? No. We’ve broken up , I’ve told you that -

- I thought I heard a girl’s voice. Is she your new fling? -

- I dont do flings Lando -

- Whatever you say mate -

“Hello? are you still there?”

“Helloooo?”

“You’ve dozed off huh. Sleep well dearest”

Y/N.

liked by oscarpiastri, y/bf, logansargeant, and others

Y/N. Florida I love you but you’re too hot. Rehearsals are brutal! 🤠 send jake sully thirst traps pls

Y/N. Whaaaaa who said that?

oscarpiastri Youre so weird.

Y/N. Because having a crush on a blue car isnt??

logansargeant Its not weird to have a crush on Sally tho

charles_leclerc I support my son’s tastes. Crushing on Sally is valid.

Y/N. But me having a crush on a giant blue man is not???

oscarpiastri nope. thats weird Y/N

logansargeant nope. thats weird Y/N (1)

charles_leclerc nope, thats weird Y/N (2)

Y/N. ugh i h8 the patriarchy

Y/bf Y/N your glowing babeeee!! So excited for Floridaaa. Im catching myself a cowboy 🤠. (and ur Jake Sully crush is so Valid!!)

Y/N Babe give me a call, your pass is still with me! ( RIGHT? The blue man is hot)

Y/bf That he is, but I think orange suits you better 😘 liked by oscarpiastri

oscarpiastri you are so right @Y/bf but its actually papaya 🤓

Y/bf stfu Oscar, im making u a case here 😤

user1 I dont know what to freak out about??!! Y/N adding another day to her concert sched or Oscar being in Y/N’s comment section and CLEARLY being flirty.

user2 Sir that is your teammate’s ex 😮‍💨

user3 Well lando did cheat … so eff the bro code or smth like that— i dunno im not a guy

user4 we can freak out about both!!! YES MY SHIP IS FREAKING FLOATING (it aint sailing till oscar confirms his breakup)

user5 Y/N becoming more unhinged by the second

user6 Y/N looks like she’s becoming better and happier 🤍 we love to see it.

user7 Enjoy your time Queen!

User7 Y/N in American soil is built different

User8 We see that like Oscar 👀.

oscarpiastri 3mins close friends

story replies

charles_leclerc do you like Americans now? well its very plausible since Logan’s American.

oscarpiastri Are you insinuating that I like Americans because of Logan?

charles_leclerc Yes, exactly that.

oscarpiastri NO.

logansargeant I knew it! Western always winssss 🤠🦅

oscarpiastri Why am I not surprised.

Y/N. Ohhhh whos the hot chick? 🤭🫣

oscarpiastri 🙂‍↔️🙂‍↔️🙂‍↔️

oscarpiastri I dunno you tell me

Anyone interested to be added to the taglist? Drop a comment or DM me!

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Maintaglist : @myescapefromthislife @peterholland04 @charlottef1 @fangirl125reader @mel164 @gnarlycore @chloelovesln4 @vickykazuya @merchelsea @ln4author @qzmef @nxk1309 @styl1shl1v @lottalove4evelyn : closed for now

[lingeriae]

"what the fuck is this?"

you look over your shoulder from your place in the sink to see connie, holding out something in his hand, squinting at the object you turn your gaze back to him raising an eyebrow.

"are you serious?"

he blinks at you, eyebrows drawing together before placing one of his hands on his hips, while the other one held out the 'strange' object. "are you serious?" he mimics your voice which causes you to scrunch up your nose at him and roll your eyes, drying your hands with a towel you walk up to him. "yes im serious, girl, why you think im asking if I wasn't serious?" he sucks his teeth at the end of his sentence, and your lips twitch in amusement as you come to stand infront of him.

"so sorry, girl." you snicker at the deadpanned look he gave you before snatching the 'thing' out of his hands. "can't believe you dunno what this shit is, you had so much bitches and you aint never seen them have this?" the look connie give you has you bursting out in laughter, bending over to hold your stomach before sitting up with a giggle.

the male only mean mugs you before crossing his arms over his chest, muscles flexing at the action, "you gon tell me what it's for or keep wastin my time?"

you only rolled your eyes in response, pulling down his arms while connie watched you curiously, squealing when you placed the cool sticky shit on his chest. "what the fuck are you doing?! ew why it feel like that? get it off, this shit is nasty!" he screams all while you laugh , he trys to pry your arm off his chest but you keep it their firmly and laugh your ass off at your boyfriends whines.

"bro, relax. it's a silicone bra." connie squirms, still trying to get you to remove the bra off his chest. "it goes on my titties to hold em up if ion wanna wear a bra."

looking at you, connie tilts his head, no longer squirming. "ohhh." you nod your head, smiling gently up at him while still pressing the bra against his chest.

a minute passes and you both just stand there looking at eaach other.

"hey ma?"

"hm?"

"please take that shit off my chest."

[quitealotofsodapop]

Oh my gods, all the Wukongs see Hero!Liuer and go "Master? Tiny Master? TINY TRIPITAKA!"

Liuer has no idea what's going on but he is delighted. Especially when he meets the big MKs.

Hero!Liuer wanders into a multi-dimensional SWK/Monkey King meeting and the room just zeros in on him.

LMK!SWK: "Oh my buddha, it's a mini-Tang!!!" <3

Reborn!SWK: "Is he Master Sanzang as a child? He has the soul mark of the Cicada."

NewGods!SWK: "He's got chubby cheeks ripe for pinching, thats what he's got!"

NetflixSWK: *incomprehensible baby talk*

2000sCartoon!SWK: "Eh!? Another Master Tripitaka? But this one's so small!" •^•

Meihouwang!SWK & LEM: "I dunno who Tripitaka is, but this one looks fun!" "Why is your name Six Eared?"

Smash!SWK: "Whoa! Trips got shrunk!" :O!

HeroIsBack!SWK is proudly showing off his tudi/adoptive son to all who wishes to see.

Liuer is def mothered/fathered by all the older SWKs. He's so small! And excited to be here with all the different Monkey Kings! Netflix!SWK and Smash!SWK treat him more like a little brother, the latter calling him "squirt" unironically. Liuer is really confused around 2000sCartoon!SWK because the brunette monkey keeps treating him like he's a wisened monk.

Meihouwang treat Liuer like a new playmate, taking him on their explorations around the different Flower Fruit Mountains. He's declared an "honorary Flower Fruit monkey!" and they try drawing face markings onto him.

Liuer meets MK; who immediately offers to show Liuer his Monkey King biography - Liuer accepts immediately and is blown away by the artwork and the things Monkey King has done "in the future"! MK and Mei unofficially deem Liuer their Little Bro. They talk for so long about their worlds & legends that MK forgets to mention that he inherited SWK's powers.

Then Liuer meets other *hims*?! Who are (mostly) all Great Monks and sages?! :O!

This happy little monk boy is in heaven.

The other Tripitakas adore Liuer; seeing him as a younger, more heroic version of themselves.

LMK Tang endears himself to Liuer with his storytelling and fatherly attitude - but Liuer is the sorta kid to loudly call out adults "doing things wrong". Example; "Mr Tang, monks aren't supposed to eat meat.", "Mr Tang, the Buddha hears all your swears.", "Mr Tang, you have to pay for your food." etc... so Tang tries to adjust his behaviour to set a good example. Nevermind that he isn't a buddhist monk - but he aint telling them that. XD

2000sCartoon!Tripitaka: "Brother Tang, it is improper for a monk to consume alcohol..."

LMK!Tang: *about to continue drinking anyway*

Liuer: "Mr Tang, sifu Fa says baijiu makes it harder for Buddha to hear us..."

LMK!Tang, mock surprise: "Eh?! I didn't know that. Thank you for warning me mini-sage!" *pours drink back into bottle*

Liuer: :D!

Other Tripitakas: "Oh, he's good at this." "I can barely get Bajie to stop stealing food..."

The reaction from the Macaques are... lukewarm at best like with the other monks. The ones who dont have beef with Tripitaka just see him as a cute kid, while the ones who've tried making monk kebabs feel really awkward around Liuer. He also sets off the older Mac's parental instincts, so he gets son-coded immediately.

He's their perfect little monk boy, and they'll kill anyone who poses a threat to his childhood wonder.

[janahanooo]

I just thought about smt.

What if Mc would break under the pressure of knowing that the brothers and litteraly everyone else exept Solomon doesn't know them and all the problems that they had solved needs to be solved again, cus y'know past and stuff and it is already harder then originaly. If it were me, I would just go "nope, nopppe. Thanks but f you all, I aint doing this sht again."

I dunno man ●▪︎● anyways

Mc:

Mc: y'know what? No, I had enough

Demon bros: wha-

Mc: *points at Lucifer* you need to spend more time with your family and don't come to me whit the "BuT LoRd DiAvOlO gAvE mE tOo MuCh WoRk" cus I aint eating that shit up. Clear your scedule.

Lucifer: ...

Mc: And Mammon you have to start managing your god damn money, cus your gonna end up in deps in no time.

Mammon:

Mammon: damn..

Mc: you.. touch some grass dude

Levi: I feel offended

Mc: Asmo, you should be confident in yourself sometimes, and don't spend all the family savings on skin products

Asmo: fair

Mc: *hugs Satan*

Satan: huh?

Mc: you need more of this and don't let yourself get chained up again

Satan: *tearing up* I uh wha-

Mc: Beel you are the most normal one in this house and do not ever change

Beel: 👍

Mc: and you gremlin, I would appreciate if you wouldn't be always after my neck and try to elliminate me

Belphie: ... sure i won't stop tho

[ask-carmenpondiego]

Chapter 26: Timey Wimey Time for a New Era

“Its not a damned crush. I swear you busybodies have nothing better to fuckin do. Get back to whatever the fuck you were doin!” M exploded, the faintest blush upon his cheeks as he stormed off to his room, slamming the door. Wally shrugged, “Ah he’ll get over it! Its not like its his first.” Daring and Kiros looked at each other with a questioning look, Daring asking, “Dad, has he done this with that other girl Molli?” He thought back for a bit, “My memory that far back is a bit fuzzy still but I think that was pure hook ups to appease her or using her as a vent for frustration. I dont remember him being that tender to anyone really. But then again like I said, my memory.. aint what it used to be.” Kiros hmmed a bit and shrugged, “I think I’ll see what he’s up to, maybe he just needs a bit of a chat and not bullying.”

Daring raised an eyebrow. “Like bro bonding time? You have already known him how long now?” Kiros chuckled, ruffling her bobbed hair, “Just because we’ve been teammates for a couple decades doesnt mean I cant check in on him. He’s usually a loner out of all of us. He probably feels a bit of pressure to get you up to speed on things.” Daring scowled, thinking. “I think you should let him cool off for a bit. I know you have some high security access, you could teach me a few things. Plus he still kinda creeps me out.” Kiros laughed, “Him? Other than the horror show wanna be vibe, he’s a big grumpy softie. Come on, I’ll tell you more while I show you more of the research lab and library. You’ll need to know how to access the good stuff.” They headed out and Wally sighed, scratching his head. “Well.. it sure is more quiet around here.. its like a mini vacation.”

It in fact was not quite like a mini vacation. That night Wally tried cooking a meal for everyone… which turned out completely inedible. And the cabinets above the stove also became a charred disaster. For the entire month, everyone had some sort of take out as the kitchen was slowly repaired like new. Daring was actually learning the ropes and liking it, as the month flew by, once planning a heist of her own and borrowing her mother’s coat and hat. As luck would have it, the TARDIS showed up shortly before and a blonde maned pink earth pony mare stepped out in a bit of a baggy coat one would see from a thrift store, with a mechanical component and an odd looking sonic screwdriver. “Right, hello. I’m the Doctor, I returned with that thing you needed for your portal door.” M, being skeptical, gruffed, “What the fuck happened to the older silver haired gent?” The mare chuckled, “Oh, thats me, new face. I was forced to regenerate but thats no big deal right now. Lets get you up and running finally, yeah?” M crossed his arms after showing her the way again, narrowing his eyes. “Bah.. too cheerful. I was amused by the bickering before.” The mare Doctor shrugs and begins to tinker about the console and installed the component, buzzing her screwdriver here and there. “Yeah well, times change and so do people. I bet you could change too. Always so angry and cold. You should find someone you like and I dunno. Have a date! Or just hang out. Something with someone you dont mind spending time with, doesnt have to be romantic.” M snuffed in silent retort, looking away as she mentions dates and such. “I have no use fer that fuckin stuff.” The Doctor got up from being on her back and under the console, dusting herself off. “Aahh, I see that eye avoidance though. You thought of at least one person you would consider. Obviously you dont have to, I’m not going to force you. You do what you want. You know you best.”

M rolled his eyes and went over to the console to inspect it, “So is this ready to go? We can open portals and not be fuckin flagged or seen? No beacons or flares or anything?” She shook her head, “Completely off the grid! Now when you see Carmen again, tell her that she owes me one. We aren’t even fully yet! She still owes me from stealing Sexy from me twice!” M scoffs, “Eehh you know Red, she keeps her word, but she is a bit of a weird monster fucker.. I suppose Police Boxes fit that category some fuckin how.” Daring walked into the mech lab with an oversized red trenchcoat and hat. “Are you sure I need to wear this? Didnt she have a smaller size?” She sees the Doctor and blinks, “Oh, I’m sorry, I didnt realize I was interrupting something.” The pink mare beamed, “Oh my gosh lookit you! You shrank! No. Not shrank. You’re not Carmen. Who are you?” Daring kept trying to adjust the hat, “I’m her daughter Daring Do. She calls me Adora.” The Doctor beamed more, “Oh that is stonkin!! A family heist then?? Is it your first one? Oh you’ll have fun! Ol Marehem here will keep you safe. I’ve heard a lot about you and your brother. I hope to see him someday! For now, I do have to run. Just call if you need me!” She had looked at her watch and was already half in the TARDIS before Daring got anything out to say.

M snorted a bit, “Liked the previous Doctor better. More realistic and not so… chipper.” Daring pointed to where the TARDIS was already faded away, “Did I just meet the Doctor? She’s kinda all over the place, isn’t she? Is she always that hyper?” M threw up his hands, “I don’t know, they’ve all had their fuckin hyper moments. Especially when they are fuckin easily excitable. Anyway, lets get this fuckin thing started up. You said you want a heist on a different Earth if we got this running before yer mom got back. Sooo.. Where the fuck you wanna go?” He took a closer look at her and gave a face. “What? Do I disgust you or something?” She huffed. He reached into the shadow and pulled out a fake horn and a brown wig. He fixed the horn to the hat and plopped the wig onto her head. “She hasnt been seen since the accident, so no one knows her change in appearance. She is fuckin self conscious of what the media says, so put this on and from security cameras, you should look spot on.” Daring scowled as she adjusted the wig, “Why would it matter if we’re going to another world? And where did you even get this stuff?” M planted the hat haphazardly onto her head, “Hey, I dont ask where you get your fucking audacity but here we are.. just fuckin use it, and we��ll go from there. Its all her fuckin image reputation shit.. Alright, call yer troops and let’s head out fer yer first heist.”

Daring smirked, “Right.. um.. Oh one more thing to bring.” She had him follow her to the loot storage and pulled out a rolled up tapestry from a museum from their world’s Italy. “I saw that Mom already nicked this one. What if I play a prank she may appreciate? What if we switch the tapestries? Another Earth is sure to have one like this as well? Right?” M took a look at the label Carmen had made for it and he chuckled. “Ya know, I think that would be rather hilarious. Probably against her wishes of letting this go to the hands of someone she doesnt know but, then again, we are fuckin providing her with a technically more rare one. I’ll run it through 079 and see if there is another one of these elsewhere in the fuckin multiverse.” He scanned the tag from his phone and shortly 079 brought up a result and even more information.

“So the tapestry you were seeking is from Earth N37FL1X, it was in display in Italy just a while ago. Mostly populated by animated beings called humans. Very basic species, not very colorful except in culture and language.. and there are reports of what looks to be a young Carmen in her 20’s running about, stealing from an Organization called VILE, oh what a coinkidink and is pursued by a policing agency called ACME. Sounds familiar. Currently if you leave now, I can set the date to when they are in pursuit in a place called Moscow, leaving this Italian museum open for your little field trip.” Daring smiled, “Sounds good! Wait.. why am I excited about that?” M puffed on his cigarette and grins, patting her head, smooshing the hat a little. “Because you just made a basic plan of action and its working in yer favor. Yer mom gets the same way, must run in the family. Now, next thing to do check what kind of other security is involved. Just because this ACME group is preoccupied, doesnt mean the rest of the world is unguarded. 079, can you get the layout deets fer that fuckin museum? A simple fuckin sneak and steal should be an easy first heist.”

Later that night, Blendin came in exhausted and covered in glitter. “Ugh.. I am never doing that again..” He paused as he closed the door, “Hello? Anybody here?” The house seemed very quiet. Asta and Ninoga were off for their anniversary, while Drake and Vasha were off on their own air pirate adventures, Molli was glued to her phone with earphones in, and Wally left a note saying he went shopping for snacks. Blendin had texted Daring and she hadnt responded back yet so he went to a wall display and checked the rosters, finding out Daring, M and Kiros went off world and Skyggja and Sigryn were in their lab. Blendin almost had the whole house to himself. He went to his room and flopped into his computer chair, turning on his gaming tower, and putting headphones on his head as he grabbed a game controller.

He was just about to start a game when a soft set of black pawhands covered his eyes. “Aah! You’re getting fingerprints all over my glasses!!” He exclaimed, hearing laughter from the young sphinx, “Ty! What are you doing here? Arent you in Guardian training?”

The sphinx teen hopped onto Blendin’s bed, his adult coloration coming in finally. He was a little more filled out muscle wise than slender Blendin, since he was part of the wrestling team. His fur becoming a soft midnight with a slightly lighter brown stomach, his humanistic parts were still a honey brown, his human features becoming more of that of a handsome middle eastern man, though still lingering in the awkward teen stage. His black hair was resembling more of black iridescent rooster feathers as was his chest fluff and tail tip. His eyes were a golden honey color, and he was wearing a simple blue tunic and khaki board shorts, sandals on his feetpaws. “I’m done with training, I graduated top of the class and was even given the choice of my Librarian to guard!” Blendin hung the bulky headphones around his neck and turned his chair to look at him, “Thats awesome, dude! Who are you thinking of picking? Is it Emily? Please dont say Emily.. she is sooo insufferable with the fairytale sector.” Ty laughed, shaking his head, “No, I think she’s allergic to cats anyway..” Blendin raised an eyebrow, “You sure she aint just sayin that because she’s a Mouskin?” The feline smirked, “She sneezes all the time around me, I’m not picking her. I was actually wondering.. if perhaps I could pick you.” The young stallion tilted his head curiously, “But I thought Guardians and Librarians often become lovers. At least I think they used to-“ Blendin blinked as Ty suddenly was pressing his lips to his, their first kiss.

After a moment the kiss broke and both boys blushed, Blendin smirking, “Wow. How am I going to refuse after that??” Ty laughed as he leaned on the headrest of the chair, “I was thinking of maybe having a code name Wonderland. You know, Lion and the Unicorn?” Blendin snickered, “Are you calling me fat? That unicorn eats all the sweets while the lion wins the fight.. if anything you have more meat on your bones than I do!” They laughed and Blendin rubs the back of his head a little, “So does this mean that we’re a couple now too?” Ty shrugged. “I was thinking about leaving that part up to you, if you’d have me.” Blendin felt his cheeks blush even brighter than before. “Hells yeah!! I mean..If you want to, I don’t mind..” Ty laughed and ruffled Blendin’s hair, “I wouldn’t be asking you out if I didnt want to!…is.. is that glitter? Why are you covered in glitter?” Blendin gulped and shrugged with a grin, “Fairies?” Ty raised an eyebrow, “As much as that tracks, try again. I know your recent missions were not involving fairies.” Blendin sighed defeatedly, “Okay, fine, but you can’t let anyone else know… its kinda embarrassing.” The Sphinx crossed his arms, “Dude, I’ve seen you after taco tuesday when experimenting with tofu and bean burritos. There ain’t nothing I haven’t seen you do for some fuckin toilet time.”

Soon the date came by that the wives were due to arrive back. A new tapestry hung in a display in the loot storage from Daring’s first heist and switch, the kitchen was restored to near mint condition, and M was relaxing by the pool, a large dunking device sitting next to him. The device’s long arm was dunked in the deep end, the subject tied to was bubbling and thrashing for a good few minutes. The changeling didn’t seem concerned at all for their breathing. He reclined, arms resting behind his head, eyes shut behind some sunglasses, yet he was still dressed in a full black and dark teal suit. He crossed his ankles, his fetlocked hoof tapping the air as if he had a song stuck in his head.

Kalai had wandered down the stairs from the main floor, since the pool was currently residing in the open basement looking out towards the ocean sunset. “I thought you were going to meet us at the entry point, Mr. Tall, Dark and Moody.” She shapeshifted her clothes to be more fitting for the poolside, a golden bikini with a sheer hip wrap. M raised an eyebrow and smirked. “You gave me a date. Not a time. Besides, I got… distracted.” He nodded towards the commotion under the water. He looked at his watch and stood up, “Pardon me a moment..” he grunted, stepping on a pedal that lifted the device’s arm, showing a very disgruntled and soaked red changeling girl, Molli. “Now what have we learned about putting C4 in Red’s room while she was gone??” Molli writhed against the ropes and spit out curses at him, “Fuck you! You’re an asshole! She’s no good for you and you know it!” He stepped off the pedal, careening her back into the water, “Correct observation, wrong fucking lesson..” he chuckled as he resumed his spot on the lounge chair. “Should I even ask?” Kalai chuckled. M lit a fresh cigarette and shrugged, “Neh, just a crazy jealous ex who thinks every woman is out fer my cock, which is fuckin hilarious since I haven’t fucked in like two hundred or so years. Just ain’t interested. And who told her it was only women? There’s other people out there who would love a piece of this.” He gestured to his crotch with a small hip-lift and took a slow draw from his cigarette, Kalai shifting her weight to one hip and curiously tapped her finger to her chin. “Well, is it just women for you?” He let out the smoke in a steady blow, shrugging. “Since forever and fer now, I guess. Never bothered to want to explore it. Broads feel comfortable fer now but what really tickles my fancy is seeing who is stronger. If I can overpower them, I can control them and break them, feed off them. If they are stronger, I respectfully know my place.” Kalai smirks, nudging his legs over so she can sit on the edge of the lounger, receiving an annoyed flash of a sneer before he readjusts himself to let her sit. “So whats the deal with your sister in law then? She’s obviously weaker, or was for as long as you’ve known her, yet you treat her as equal or higher.” M gives off this groan of uncertainty, “Neeehhh its.. complicated. We found common ground and common needs that we could help each other with at the time and it just went from there.”

“She outsmarted you with logic?” Kalai chuckled, raising an eyebrow. “What? Fuck no. It was just a deal to help each other out. And she just kinda grows on yeh. She’s very persuasive.” M grimaced and scoffed at the audacity of the notion that he could be outsmarted by a simple mortal unicorn. “Well then what about me? Where do I stand?” She leans closer to him, batting her eyelashes. He looked over his sunglasses at her, looking her up and down before leaning his head back. “Eh.. hard to say. I recognize your powers differ from mine, yet are extremely similar. Not quite eldritch as I like to describe it. You do surpass me in power levels, but that could be due to age and experience easily.” She cocks her head a bit, with a confused gaze, “Are you calling me old? I’m not even middle aged yet!” M smirks, “I call it how it is. Yer older than me and I’m fuckin old compared to the fuckin morons on this planet. To me, you don’t look a day over 1,000.” She smiles, “So what you’re saying is you like older women.” He sits up and looks over his sunglasses again, “What I’m sayin is that I know my place around you and I’m comfortable with that.”

She smirks with an upward chin tilt and stands up, stepping on the device so the arm lifts Molli out of the water, coughing and sputtering. “And you were comfortable with leaving her underwater for this long?” Kalai sends out her vines and unties Molli and holds her, wrapped up like a python. She brings the little changeling closer to try to soothe her, reaching out a hand to brush Molli’s face. Molli in return hissed and shifting into a viper and bared her venomous fangs and was about to strike Kalai. “You will never sssteal him from me!! I will make sssure you dont sssee another sssunrisse!!! DIE!!”

M ripped off his sunglasses, seeing the fangs and noticing her particular venom, he turned himself into shadow, within what seemed like milliseconds if not instantly, took hold of the captured viper from the vine’s grip and forced her to her true form as he solidified, slamming her against the wall by her throat. His body suddenly bigger, and more monstrous, almost hulking with multiple limbs, most thin and spindly like spider legs, caging around them. Tentacles swarming as three sets of insect wings splayed open, his face almost looking skeletal with multiple glowing eyes, green with shades of red, bared down upon the offending changeling who clutched to the claws holding her throat, her hooves kicking for some footing to stand on, her own segmented eyes filled with absolute terror, he slowly growled at her, threatening sounds of his chittering sounded in the back of his throat.

“DID YOU LEARN NOTHING WHEN I THREW YOU TO THE SIDE CENTURIES AGO? AND YOU DEIGN TO RETURN TO ME AND THREATEN WHAT I HAVE RIGHTFULLY EARNED ALL BECAUSE I DO NOT RETURN YOUR AFFECTIONS? LET THIS MOMENT SET THINGS CRYSTAL CLEAR. IF YOU REMAIN AT THIS DOMAIN, YOU WILL CARE AND PROTECT YOUR TEAMMATES AND HOUSEMATES AS FAMILY. GENUINELY AND WITHOUT SEEKING REWARD. I TIRE OF YOUR GAMES AND HAVE WORN OUT MY HOSPITALITY AND PATIENCE. CHOOSE YOUR PATH TONIGHT. IF YOU CHOOSE TO CONTINUE THESE GAMES, I WILL DEVOUR YOU COMPLETELY WITH NO REMORSE. YOU WILL BE SPARED WITH NO ILL WILL IF YOU STAY AND CHOOSE TO TRULY BECOME A VILE AGENT OR IF YOU CHOOSE TO LEAVE YOU WILL BE SPARED BUT NEVER ALLOWED TO RETURN. MAKE YOUR CHOICE BY DAY BREAK.” Molli nods panickedly as he lets her go, dropping her to the floor and turning back towards Kalai, almost instantly back to his normal form, straightening his tie and putting his sunglasses back on, striding towards her. Molli ran back upstairs into the rest of the house to think about what she needs to do next. Kalai, on the other hand, watched M with his hulking form while biting her knuckle, her legs crossed tight. She stands to meet him as he returned towards her, her tail swishing a bit excitedly. “I apologize that you had to see that. Are you alright? Did she bite you at all?” He took her hand, examining it. Kalai let him hold her hand, a deep blush spread over her face as she looked into his shaded eyes. “N-no. I’m very fine. She didn’t bite me. Even if she did, it wouldnt do anything to me. Hell, I’m still holding and processing your brother’s disease in my own body so I can cure it fully. That is proving difficult but its not impossible.” She shifts the shape of her own body, as if dropping an illusion, her body riddled with small crystals ripping through her flesh before putting the illusion back on. M frowns, shaking his head. “I know you are helping but endangering your own life like this, you’ll run out of time.” Kalai laughed, “No I won’t. I’m practically life and death incarnate. This cannot harm me like it does your brother. So be at ease. I have it handled. Just like how you handled that girl back there.” She looked past him at the partially cratered wall. “That was impressively sexy by the way.” She reached up and fondled his tie within her hands, looking up at him. “Wut, That back there? That’s not supposed to be fuckin sexy..” M gave a questioning look, before she pulled his tie, bringing him closer like a leash. “Shut up and take the compliment.” He growled close with a smirk. “How about you shut up?” She grins, daring him. “How about you make me-Mmmh!~” He didn’t let her finish her challenge before his lips locked with hers, his hands wrapping around her hips. She melted a little as they kissed, her hands on his tie still. She pulled away first, softly giggling. “Touché.” He smirked, “So, did I do it right?”

“Do what right?”

“Did I seduce you?”

“You are how old and you forgot how to seduce?”

“I didn’t forget!!”

“You did! You totally forgot how to seduce a woman!”

M huffed. “I can seduce any woman I want!”

Kalai slid her neck to the side, “Then why did you ask?”

“I dunno, Red makes it look easy! And I tried being, I dunno, fuckin coy or something!”

“How can you forget how to seduce?! Its like forgetting how to eat!“

“Look, I don’t think you are aware, but I don’t like actual food.. like ever.”

“You don’t like food?”

“I can fuckin absorb emotions, why would I need food?!”

“Its called fun!”

“I don’t need food for fun..”

“And this is why you didn’t get laid for the past 200 years.”

That night, everyone had sat down for a well deserved home cooked meal by Carmen and Lekir, and a few more settings were placed for the new visitors. A Dragon King named Anorath had joined Carmen and Lekir for dinner along with a Lizard woman named Celica and the black and green Vixen Kalai, who had chosen to sit next to M. A fourth individual was also welcomed to the table, sitting by Daring. A tall and slim Kirin teen with some wolf like features, about 18-19 years of age. His long mane was an arctic blue while his fur was white, a single blue curved horn jutted from his forehead as much smaller horns ran along his hairline. He was exceptionally pretty, as Daring couldn’t take her eyes off of him. Instead of a normal Kirin tail, he had a canine one, yet still had the cloven hooves with long blue fetlocks. He smiled and joined in conversation, one would notice his teeth were also canine.

As Carmen stood to help serve the food, she clinked a glass for the undivided attention of the table. “All right, settle down, I know we’ve been gone a long while, longer for us than most you, but I wanted to say how glad we are to be back home! I wanted to thank Anorath, Celica and Kalai for helping us during this whole endeavor! And I wanted to formally introduce a new member to the family. Not new to me and Lekir but new to you all.. ya know.. time travel..” The table chuckled, and she continued, gesturing over to the Kirin teen, “I’d like you all to meet Aciano. He is our son. Lekir and I had a baby apparently. I have also updated my birth control to be strong enough for this demon Jirvi-Ketsru blood I have, since thats why this happened. My old birth control was not strong enough for my body anymore. So yeah. Thats fixed now. Um, so Aciano is going to be staying with us, he wanted to go see this world and see if he is interested in any special talents he may develop here. He’s a bit shy right now but I’m sure he’s grow into his place here with no issues.”

The table erupted into welcomes and laughter, Daring somewhat dropped her shoulders, “He’s my brother?! I got two brothers now? Dammit, I was hoping he wasn’t related!” Kiros nudged her with his elbow, chuckling. “That quick to change crushes?” Daring sputtered and glared at him, “What?! Psh.. No… what? Mm-mm nope. I have no idea what you’re on about.” Carmen smirked, “I just wish Blendin was here to meet you. He’s been rather busy with his Librarian duties. Oh! That reminds me, Adora, theres a magic show in town this weekend. Why not get aquatinted with Ace and show him around, you’ll have a blast! I just know it! Aaand I hear the magician has a new assistant you may like. I hear he’s your age and already has quite a following on Tik-Trot.” Daring blushed bright red and slouched, hiding in her wings. “Mother!! Stop trying to set me up with random boys! I’ll pick someone when I’m ready!” Carmen blinked, thinking she was mistaken, “So sorry, Would you rather me see if theres any girls you may like instead? Just let me know if thats what you prefer..” Daring hid more in her wings, groaning. “No Mom! I like boys but I don’t need any help finding anyone! Fuck!” Carmen raised an eyebrow, “Adora Knapsack Yearling! Language! We have guests!!”

M piped in “Oy, Red, give the kid a fuckin break, yeah? She pulled off a hell of a first heist while you were gone. Give her some slack. And mind you, she was the FIRST VILE agent to go across dimensions for yer precious loot. I’d say she deserves extra dessert or somethin!” Carmen beamed, “Thats absolutely wonderful news! Absolutely she can extra dessert! And You can help her write up the report after dinner.. which by the way, M. Hand me your plate, I’ll put it in the cupboard for you.” M scowled, in mid reach of a plate of stuffed artichoke. “Um why the fuck would I do that? I’m eating right here with the rest of yez.” Carmen smiled wide, motioning to Kalai, “Oh Kalai and I had a nice conversation about dinner and how you dont like food in general. So I’m not going to force you to eat if you don’t like my cooking..” M stood up, insectoid chittering could be heard faintly as his ears pinned back, “What the absolute fuck? I never fuckin said I didnt like your cooking! I just dont eat for fun! Appreciating the hard work of a home cooked meal is a whole ‘nother fuckin thing entirely!”

Carmen slow blinks at him, and gestures for his plate again, “And your appreciation is noted and welcomed, but I won’t force you to eat if you don’t like to eat. Now hand over your plate.” M scowls and keeps his hand on top of his plate. “Fer fuck sake, Red! I want this food! Yeah I can fuckin absorb all yer good feelings and shit but I like having fuckin solid food too even if I don’t need it to survive!”

Kalai smirked at him, “So what you’re saying is that you do like eating food for fun? You keep falling for her logic, I can see why you see her as an equal..” M glowered, “I will find where you fuckin sleep and I wont even bother making it look like an accident..” Kalai just leans towards him with a grin. “Mmm. Kinky.”

[handmemyshovel]

SEJANUS IS SO SWEET SO PRECIOUS HE DESERVES THE WORLD AND I DUNNO WHERE I AM GOING WITH THIS BUT LIKE HE DESERVES SO MUCH CAN I JUST SCREAM ABOUT HIM LIKE

HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS MA IS SO CUTE FIRST OF ALL WHY DO I LOVE HOW CORIOLANUS DESCRIBED MA CLUNG ONTO SEJANUS’ ARM WHICH I THINK HE ACTUALLY PUT DIFFERENTLY BUT IT WAS SOMETHING LIKE THAT BUT JUST THE FSCT THAT THEY ARE SO CLOSE IS CUTE AND SWEET AND CORIOLANUS MYST BE SO JEALOUS . POOR DUDE CAN ONLY CONNECT WITH HIS MOM THROGH THE ROSE UHH WHATS IT CALLED IDEK THE POWDER THING AND HE SMELLS IT SO MUCH FOR COMFORT LIKE IMAGINE IF HE COULD ACTUALLY HAVE A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS MOM!! HOW DIFFERENT WOULD HE BE??

BUT THIS AINT ABT CORYO THIS IS ABOUT SEJANUS BECAUSE HIW CAN SEJANUS BE SUCH AN ANGEL EVEN WHILE BEING ANGRY LIKE HE NEVER ATTACKS PEOPLE VERBALLY HE JUST DEFENDS WHATS RIGHT LIKE BRO STOP BEING SO GOOD YOU WERE BORN IN THE WRONG TIME, WRONG PLACE . CAN I JUST BE HIS FRIEND PLEASE

AND I HAVE SO MYCH MORE TO SAY ABT HIM BUT I HAVE TO FREAKING FINISH A FANFIC SO SORRY TO WHOEVER FOLLOWS ME BUT IM NOT SHUTTING UP FOR LONG

[huffle-dork]

Swap Across the CrystalVerse Chapter 17: The Bad End

Read Swapboys | Crystal’s AUs| You've reached a Bad End (Also on AO3!)

Read SITCV | SATCV Masterpost | AO3 Link

"You do look more like me wearing that," Chase comments, looking over Bro in his new clothes. "The hand-me-down look really seals it. Sorry if they don't fit. We have, uh, limited options while living in a cave. At least they're clean."

Bro laughs, "It's okay- we're pretty similar just… bigger… arms I guess."

"You can say bigger muscles- I think Chase's self esteem was already shot just by seeing them~!" Jackie grins.

"Hey! Don't be mean! It's not like… I'm showing off! It's just! What happens when you fight crime!" Bro protests.

Chase laughs. "Don't worry, I'm not too concerned about being built. I'm more of a long range guy."

Stacy pokes her head into the storage cavern where Chase, Bro, Jackie, and Sam are waiting. "Are you guys done in here?"

The two swaps look at Stacy and Bro tries to hide his blush at seeing her as he adjusts the outfit. "u-uh yeah! I think so!"

"Great." Stacy nods. "I found a group of people who are going to come along."

Someone else leans into view. They have short dark hair underneath a blue beanie and are wearing a black jacket and skirt with leggings. "Hey." They wave.

"Oh! This is Raven, they're one of those people," Stacy says. "They wanted to meet you."

"Not often you hear about people from another world." Raven grins. "Nice to meet you. I'm the magician."

"Oh! A magician! That's great!" Bro grins. "We could use any help we can get!"

'Nice to meet ya, Raven!" Jackie smiles.

"Heh." Raven smiles. "Happy to help. If you get paused in time I'm able to unfreeze you. That's why I'm coming."

"Oh awesome! That'll make this way easier!" Bro laughs.

"Stacy, are you gonna go, too?" Chase asks.

"Are you?" Stacy asks him.

"I, uh… I want to help. But I think it'll make the whole decoy thing hard."

Jackie looks at Chase and then shrugs, "If you stay with us and hidden- it should be fine! Once Bro starts using his powers it gonna be real obvious it aint you so-"

"That's true…" Chase muses. "Alright. I'll go. I'm an alright marksman, I can stay hidden from a distance."

Stacy nods. "In that case, I won't go. It's too dangerous for both of us to leave. Just in case something happens to one group."

Chase nods. "Alright. Where's Jack, by the way?"

Sam gets off the box They're sitting on and wraps Their nerve-tail around something inside. A small pen. They awkwardly write letters on the lid of the cardboard box. A-L-T.

"He's still with Alt?" Chase asks. "Huh."

Jackie frowns. "… I feel like that's been a long time."

Bro looks worried. "Do you think they're both okay?"

Chase bites his lip. "I don't think anything could've happened to Jack. You literally can't touch him, yknow? But… something could be…" He shakes his head, not wanting to say it in front of Bro and Jackie. "I-it'll probably be fine. If everyone's ready, we should start moving right away. Jackie, are you gonna come?"

"Yeah man! I can be moral support if anything. But, also like- whats the saying… better with numbers…?" Jackie frowns. "Why can't I remember how that goes-"

Bro laughs, "Please try to stay away from any place you can fall and break something, Jackie-"

"Nooo promises!" Jackie grins.

"You want a gun, then? Or a knife?" Stacy asks, pushing open the lid of a crate.

"Oh- a knife please. Imma a terrible shot." Jackie laughs.

"Alright, here you go." Stacy grabs a sheathed knife and hands it to him. "That looks the right size for you. Feel free to slash away, the corrupted don't feel pain and they don't go down easily."

"ooh- that's.. fun. Good to know." Jackie says, taking the knife.

Bro frowns, "huh… i gotta be careful then… I don't wanna like- accidentally… you know-"

"Accidentally kill them? You're that strong?" Chase asks with wide eyes.

Bro flushes, "…I dunno! mmmmaybe? I haven't tried to! I'm very against killing- but I usually try to hold back once I see someone in pain."

"Yknow, Trisha once shot Error point-blank with a shotgun and he got up again, I think you punching them really hard won't do that much," Stacy says. "Just don't aim for the heads. These are still people under all the corruption."

Bro nods to Stacy and wrings out his hands and wrists, "Okay… I can do that. I don't like aiming for the face much anyways. Broken noses aren't fun for anyone… Unless they deserve it. …Broken noses are meant for criminals not mind controlled people. There that's a new super law for me." He nods.

Jackie snorts and rolls his eyes.

Stacy laughs. "Great, good to hear."

"Let's head out, then," Chase says. "The sooner, the better. We need Bro to hang out somewhere with a lot of cameras for him to see, while the rest of us stay out of sight."

Raven nods. "I can keep up an invisibility spell for a while, but everyone will need to stick close to me, it only covers so much ground."

"Alright, good luck guys," Stacy says.

"Thanks Stacy- stay safe okay?" Bro says with a smile. Jackie gives her a two fingered salute.

“Let's go." Chase checks his gun, then leads the way out of the cave.

--------

The door to the room appears, opening up. Jack looks away from Alt and towards it, stiffening. His form is overtaken by white static until he's just the staticky outline he was when Alt first saw him. He puts a finger to his lips.

Alt jumps slightly and then curls up as Jack becomes less solid. He shakily nods.

Error walks in. He looks at Alt and grins. "We're going to take a trip. Come on. Please don't make this difficult."

As Error walks in Alt growls and bares his teeth at him like a feral animal.

"Oh, don't be like that, this is your lucky day! Though you don't think of it that way right now." Error leans down, still grinning. He's not wearing the hoodie outfit from earlier. Instead, it's some red and blue jumpsuit, torn and bloodied. "Come on." His smile drops. "If I have to drag you down there, I will."

"Go ahead and try fucker-" Alt spits. He grins as his eyes spark with energy, "You already know I'm pretty slippery."

"Because of your glitching? Is that it? Hmmm." Error hums. "You know… the Place has a way of taking you where Anti wants you to be. So, sure, you can try. You'll probably just end up where I'm taking you anyway." He flashes a sharp smile. "But if you insist." He grabs Alt by the arm and starts pulling him towards the door.

Alt yelps and then quickly tries to glitch away and out of his grip.

And yet, somehow, Error manages to hold onto him. The static swarming around his body buzzes around Alt's glitches, causing some kind of rough barrier. "Come on," Error says, adjusting his hold so he's pinning Alt's arms to his side. He doesn't sound bothered at all by the struggles as he drags Alt out into the hallway. The static form of Jack follows.

Alt cries out and tries to fight as much as he can. "H-Hey! What the fuck!! Let me go!!"

"Nope!" Error says, almost cheerfully. He continues dragging Alt down the hallway, which slopes and twists downwards. Cables start to appear on the ground, ready to trip people up, but he nimbly dodges them. "Come on, we're almost there!"

Alt feels his stomach drop and dread starts to take over him as he tries even harder to get away. "N-No! C'mon J-Jackie! You're Jackie right?! J-Just let me go man!!"

"I thought I told you before." Error's grip on Alt tightens to the point where it hurts a little. "That's not me anymore." He reaches a door made of metal and opens it up, dragging Alt inside. It's completely dark, impossible to see, but somehow Error navigates it perfectly until he manages to push Alt into a chair, forcing him to sit.

Alt cries out and squirms and kicks as much as he can. When he's forced into the chair he tries to see if he can glitch away-

"No!" Error sees him doing that and pushes him hard back, hard enough that Alt's head clunks against the back of the chair. "Don't you dare," he hisses, quickly grabbing Alt's arms and pushing them into the arms of the chair, where cuffs snap into place. He quickly does the same for his ankles, cuffing them to a bar connecting the chair legs, and then backs up. "Just wait here quietly, okay?"

Alt’s vision flashes white for a second as he head hits the seat. He then struggles and pulls at the restraints, really starting to freak out. Terrified tears gather in his eyes as he starts to heave in panic. “P-Please don’t do this! I-I don’t want to be a puppet again! Please!”

Error grins. "It's not so bad. Maybe you'll find it's different this time. Maybe you'll be happy." And then he turns and leaves the room.

Jack quickly walks into the room before Error closes the door. The room is completely dark now, but Alt can hear Jack's voice. "You're not alone, I promise," he says.

Alt is panicking hardcore, even Jack's voice doesn't calm him down. His eyes try to find any source of light in the room but there's nothing- its dark and he's scared. "J-Jack…! I.. I don't want to be corrupted…! I..! I-"

“I know, I’m sorry,” Jack murmurs. “I-I can’t stop him, a-and I’m sorry. But I can fix it. Just before you guys arrived here, I figured out how to uncorrupt people. But I-I don’t know how to stop the corruption while it’s happening. Only after the fact. And I’m so, so sorry. But I promise people are on the way to help. I promise.”

Alt feels his stomach sinking even more as he hangs his head and tries to hide his panicked tears. He… he has to try to look tough for whatever's coming… he can't show he's weak- but he's so fucking scared.

“It’s gonna be okay,” Jack says. “You’re not alone. It’s going to be—”

Then the door opens again. The lights flick on, revealing the corruption room, just like the one Surgeon showed Mag. Standing in the doorway are two familiar faces. Anti… and Magnificent himself.

“Hey, Alt,” Anti says, grinning as he closes the door.

"Hello cub~" Magnificent giggles.

Alt goes pale. "M-Magnificent…"

Magnificent laughs wildly and teleports to grab Alt's chin, tilting it back and forth. "Awww look at you, kitten! You look fucking terrible~ Scared out of your wits, are we?"

"S-Shut the fuck up!" Alt spits, trying to pull his wet face away from his grip.

Magnificent giggles and teleports back by Anti, grinning. "This is going to be so fucking easy. It's almost sad-"

"Easy would be good, this is never 'easy' in my experience," Anti says. One of the screens on the walls lights up, showing nothing but static, the speakers letting out the sound of white noise. Anti glitches over to a table and starts looking through the items there. "You should probably cover your ears, Magnificent. I don't think it'll be able to affect you so easily, but better safe than sorry. You get started while I decide how to approach this."

"Ah- Yes. I can do that." Mag snaps and puts basically magic earplugs in and then grins, slinking back over to Alt.

Alt tries to pull his head away but Mag grabs him by the hair and slams his head back, giggling. "Oh you poor beaten kitten… your mind has already been scrambled so nicely for me~! So broken and disjointed… It's like you knew to expect me!"

"Mag- f-fucking! Don't do this! You're really g-gonna let me be a puppet for someone else?" Alt tries to growl at him.

Magnificent just shakes head and laughs, "Why not? I want to see how it works~! And you're already such a good puppet for me, Alt… I think I can lend you away for a bit~" He flares up some corruption in his hands- not enough to completely block Alt's magic- but enough to make him weak. He digs his claws into his neck and spreads it there as Alt screams and tries to thrash against it. As he works a bright purple and green spiral looms behind Magnificent- soon drawing in Alt's eyes as Mag withdraws his hand.

Alt weakly lets his head fall back, panting and heaving in panic- but he's starting to do it less- the anger and fear fading from his eyes. Corrupted purple flickers in his eyes but- he tries to fight against it, weakly squirming in his restraints. "n-no… no I… i-"

Anti watches this happen, observing. It really does happen quite quickly. "I've been able to put people in trances before," he says quietly. "But they always shake it off eventually. That sort of reminds me of it." He nods at the spiral, at the way Alt's struggles are fading. "I can work with that."

The white noise in the air sounds less sharp than it did before. More… soothing, almost. Anti walks around behind Alt, carrying something. He snaps it around Alt's neck, revealing it to be a metal collar.

"Alright, Alt," he says quietly, but not kindly. "Here's how it's going to work. If you start to do something wrong, you're going to get hurt. Same thing if you say something bad. Simple enough, right? You can do that, right?"

Magnificent's eyes widen and then he giggles, "Oh… i like where this is going."

Alt snaps slightly out of trance as he feels the collar get snapped onto him. He weakly glares at Anti, eyes sparking. "L-Like i'm gonna just d-do what you say just cuz you ask me- f-fuck off!"

ZAP. Anti can't pulse with electricity the way Alt can, but he has other tools he can use. Namely, a taser, which he presses to the metal of the collar and switches on for a second. "That's a low setting, and I know you can handle electricity," Anti says. "But I promise it can get worse. And I'm not just limited to lightning." He tilts Alt's head back so he can look him in the eyes. "You don't have to fight it, though," he whispers. "You don't have to go through this." He glances back up at Magnificent and nods towards the spiral he has conjured, silently asking him to increase whatever he's doing.

Alt grits his teeth and stiffens in his chair, trying to hide his discomfort. He feels himself get tilted up and he opens his eyes enough to just glare more at Anti. "I-I'm not l-letting myself be corrupted by you…!"

Magnificent tilts his head and the magic gets brighter and hums with intensity. The pressure on the room increases. Mag grips his hand and the corruption on Alt's neck pulses and grows slightly, making purple flash in his eyes as he gasps.

Alt tries to shut his eyes, shaking his head. "No…! Nono-!"

"Why not?" Anti asks. "Remember, I've seen your memories. I know what you've thought. All these Antis out here, doing terrible things. You know that you're not any different. Didn't you try to kill your so-called friends a couple times?"

"T-Those weren't for you to see-" Alt whimpers. "I.. I'm not like that anymore- I don't want to be that anymore…! I'm not like them- I'm not-!" He squeezes his eyes shut tighter, trembling.

ZAP! Anti goes up a setting on the taser. "Don't close your eyes," he snaps.

Alt grits his teeth and bites back another scream. Alt instinctively follows Anti's order and his eyes find the spiral.

"Alright, maybe you're not like that anymore. But you remember what it was like, don't you? Didn't a part of you like being like that? Being able to do whatever the fuck you wanted?"

Alt’s shoulders almost instantly relax as the magic starts to spiral in his eyes. His head lolls back more as he breathes slowly. He leans a bit more against Anti's side, talking hollowly. "… i… i… d..did…"

"That's it kitten… relax… and listen to Anti," Magnificent sings sweetly, increasing the burning magic. "Just like that…"

"I know you did," Anti says, his voice laced with static. "But you feel so bad about it now. Guilt is a useless thing, Alt. All it does is make you feel bad. Life is so much better lived without regrets. Nothing is stopping you from casting these feelings aside and doing something that you like. Even if people say it's wrong, they don't know you. They can't know you. It's impossible to fully know someone, since you can't possibly have thought and felt and experienced everything someone else has. So, why do you care so much about what these people who can't know you think?"

"I… I don't… know…" Alt whispers, knitting his eyebrows together in confusion. "…it… it.. shouldn't… matter…" His eye twitches and he tries to shake out his head, squeezing his eyes shut again as his head pounds. "n-no it m-matters it… it has to- I… I need to- be something b-better…! I…"

ZAP! Up another setting. "Better is arbitrary," Anti hisses. "Good and bad are constructs. Right and wrong are fictional ideas." The static echoes his words. "You only want to be 'better' because others tell you that you should want that. When you strip away those voices, Alt, you know what you really want. And I can help you, like I've helped lots of people before you."

Alt lets out a short scream now, clenching his fists and arching his back. He pants, eyes rolling in his head for a second before they find the spiral again. He starts to relax even more, even through panted short breaths. The magic glows brighter in his eyes as he whispers, "…what… I want…?" He leans his head back and sighs in pain, "i… i wanna be free…"

"Then let me help you," Anti whispers. "Let me free you." He puts one hand on Alt's shoulder. For a moment, he flickers, becoming a figure of black static. Something is in his chest. Right where his heart would be. It looks a little like a heart too, in shape. But it's not. It's a knot of strings, and one of those strings slinks down his arm and into the spot where his hand is touching Alt. Then he returns to his normal look, and the string is gone from sight. But it's still there.

Alt twitches a bit and rolls his shoulder where he feels the string but very quickly relaxes. His eyes glaze over completely and his fighting stops. "…free me, Anti." He whispers, lips hardly moving.

Magnificent giggles with glee, hardly able to stop grinning.

"I will," Anti promises. "Close your eyes. When I tell you to open them again, you'll be free."

Alt's eyes easily slip shut now, his head lolling forward to hang limply over his chest.

"One…" Anti whispers. "Two…" He reaches for the collar. "Three." And he snaps it off. "Wake up, Byte."

Alt's head slowly rises and he opens his eyes. Immediately- they are different. His sclera is now green static. The purple spirals still burn in his irises but… now its like- his pupils are glitching. They don't seem to want to settle, glitching across his iris and sclera in broken bits and pieces.

Byte leans forward and looks confused before his lips curl up into an unsteady smile. He digs his nails into the arms of his chair and starts to giggle. He's dazed- still seeming kinda lost and entranced. He falls back in his chair, letting his head hit the back of it as he dazedly giggles at the ceiling.

"…fascinating…!" Magnificent breathes, his eyes sparkling.

"Everyone reacts to it differently," Anti says. "I've given up on trying to predict how they'll act after the process--but somehow this feels right." He leans back, considering for a moment. "It might not be as well-settled as corruption usually is, but that was really fast. Worth the tradeoff, if you ask me."

"I think it was only so fast because his mind is already very open to my hypnosis. And… whatever happened with you two scrambled his brain and made it very easy to manipulate." Magnificent comments, crossing his arms as he studies Byte. "Still… I haven't seen him like this…"

Anti leans forward again, undoing the cuffs on Byte's wrists and ankles. "Hello there." He smiles at him, somehow managing to look both genuine and crazed at the same time. "How do you feel, Byte?"

Byte dazedly watches as he's freed, smile only getting wider. His eyes get a bit more of that unhinged look in them. He tries to glitch up out of the chair and then falls over himself slightly, giggling madly. He finds Anti's arm and grabs onto it, digging his nails in. "F-Fantastic-" He grins. "Fucking f̵a̴n̴t̴a̵s̷t̸i̵c̷~! And… and stabby- I feel stabby." Byte laughs more and looks at Anti with those wide glitching eyes, grinning like a maniac. "Can I stab you? I w-w-wanna see you b̷͚̂l̴̢̇é̷̠e̶̓͜é̸̯d̸͕͘d̴̞̑."

"Ha! Unfortunately, I don't bleed at all, despite this whole thing." Anti indicates the neck wound. "But we can go out into the city and find someone who will." His smile widens into an excited grin. He seems unfazed by Byte grabbing his arm, even as the nails dig in. He glances at Magnificent. "Guessing that sort of comment isn't normal, then?"

"Not at all." Magnificent replies, impressed.

"Can I bite them?!" Byte says excitedly, baring his teeth in a sharp grin. "That's what my name is now, right? B̵I̷t̶e̸!̸ ̵!" He snaps his teeth together like a playful predator, giggling.

"You can," Anti assured him. "Let me just find someone suitable. This will only take one second." He turned into black static and zipped away--and then, exactly one second later, he returned. "Well… I just saw something very interesting." He looked over at Magnificent. "A puppet who snapped his strings. My Chase is out wandering around. It must be some sort of trap, I caught a couple glimpses of people nearby. They must've thought they were hiding with that magician's invisibility spell, not knowing that some cameras can see through that." And back to Byte, grinning. "We can head out right now."

"C̸h̵a̴s̵e̷!̷ I know a Chase!" Byte says excitedly. "If there's twooo Chases- can I kill one, Anti?" He giggles. As he does, he's still glitching a bit in place- his normally bright green and blue glitches now darker and corrupted. Even his magic seems corrupted as he opens his hand up and summons one of his magic knives. It buzzes and fizzles with loud static and flickers between dark green, blue, red and black.

Magnificent chuckles, "That's true… that could mean our Chase is somewhere in there too. No doubt hoping to catch us off guard."

"Or! He can come back too! Two Chases! Two puppets~!" Byte laughs, bouncing on his toes.

"Two would be nice," Anti says thoughtfully. "But if it really comes down to it, you can kill the spare--the one not from this world. As well as anyone else with him."

The spirals in Byte's eyes pulse a bit at this, as if sealing in a command and he grins. "I can kill him. It will be fun to kill him~! And the others! Anyone I can!!"

"Oh this will be quite the show~!" Magnificent laughs, "My puppets wont know what's hitting them."

Anti flashes a smile. "Lovely knives."

"Thank you Anti!" Byte beams. He throws one knife out of his hand and lets its sink into the wall- then opens back up his hand and it flies back in a similar arc. He giggles. "They're m̸a̵g̶i̷c̵~̷" He then poofs them away and glitches around the room like he just can't keep still. "Can we go?!"

"We can go right now," Anti says. "I need Voice, but we can meet him at the exit. Hmm, I should probably take Error, too, just in case." He looks at Magnificent. "Want to join? The four of us together can probably defeat them all."

"Oh, my friend, I wouldn't miss this for the world." Magnificent chuckles.

Byte glitches to a stop, his hair spiking and curling slightly as electricity courses across it and his clothes. He grins wide. "I'll follow you! I still don't know how the Place works-" He says plainly but even that sounds a bit crazy and unhinged. Maybe its that wild look in his glitching eyes. He then blinks and looks to a certain corner and then points. "And what are we gonna do with Jack? He's watching."

Magnificent looks confused, frowning at the space and not seeing anything. "…what are you talking about…?"

Anti stiffens. "He's what?" he whispers, absolute venom dripping in his voice, thick enough to burn ears.

Jack has been watching everything. He'd wanted to reach out to Alt, to support him during Anti's attempts to corrupt him, to remind him that he's not alone. But then Magnificent had walked in and thrown him for a loop, and before he could recover, that spiral the magician conjured was blocking Alt's vision. He wanted to shout, to scream, but the moment the process started he froze up. It wasn't just Alt in that chair, it was Jackie, Jameson, Henrik, Marvin, Chase--all of them. All of his friends he couldn't help. All of his friends that he had watched get hurt and tortured and twisted beyond recognition and never been able to do a single thing about. The memory of helplessness locked him up, shoving him back into that mentality until it was too late.

Anti turns in the direction Alt was pointing and lunges forward.

Jack yelps, briefly flickering into view, and dives out of the way.

"Get b̵̨a̛ç̛k̕ ̸͠h͡e͟͠r̢͟ę̴̕!" Anti shouts, picking up a blade from the nearest table and throwing it.

Jack dodges it and jumps through the wall, disappearing.

Anti screeches animalistically--then glances at Magnificent and gets himself under control. "I'll… deal with him… some other time," he says through gritted teeth. "He can't be touched. He's just like a fucking ghost. Not important right now. Let's go. He's probably going to tell the group we're on the way."

Byte staggers back, fear flickering in his eyes. As Anti shouts and screeches, he curls up slightly- afraid of his rage.

Magnificent raises an eyebrow and then laughs, "Sore spot, I'm assuming?" He sees Byte cowering and grabs him by the arm and throws him forward. "No time to waste, Byte. You want your blood, don't you?"

"y…yes. Yeah I- let's go." Byte says a bit dazedly. He glances at Anti warily.

Anti takes a deep breath. He notices Byte's fear, and for a moment, regret flickers in his eyes. But it's only for a second. There are more important things to focus on. "Sore spot indeed," Anti says as he walks to the door. He opens it up and heads out. "Come on. We'd best hurry."

[snobgoblin]

Ace reader go "shopping"

x hehehe oh ok

CHAOTIC ACE (GORILLAZ) X READER

rated: E for even a zygote could read this it's squeaky clean

plot: yall need outfits for an award ceremony so you steal em

It smells like old lady in here. Smells like old RICH lady. that's the worst kind of old lady, not like the ones that are mean but in a funny way. You didn't expect Ace to take you to such a fancy place, the fanciest place you've seen him go willingly was to that 3 star seafood restaurant that gave yall food poisoning.

You piped up "So uhm. What are we doing here again it smells like purse dog"

Ace looked over from some suit jackets he was rummaging through. he dropped one on the ground and fumbled to put it back "Eh, need an outfit for some kinda award thing, I dunno. You're coming with me. You're sposed to bring a date and I ain't bringing the guys."

"I'm literally your partner......... and I'm your last choice? girl WHAT 😭"

"Told ya i aint a girl, toots. And it's not like you were my last choice I just figured you wouldn't wanna go. Then I remembered I don't like bein by myself so I decided you would. That alright?" he barely paused before holding up a pink suit jacket up to his body, "Hey you think this'd look good on me?"

"Uh..." you struggled to process everything he said so you just dropped it. You probably didn't want to go because it was loud, and there would be cameras, but you wanted to be there to support him. You were happy for him. You smile "Looks great." it did not. it was radioactive pink, you could see out of the corner of your eye that the white floor was reflecting the color of the suit jacket, it was practically GLOWING. but he liked it. so you just threw him a bone.

he picked out a........ matching isn't the right word, more like. he just picked out a pair of yellow pants ok. bro looked like an easter egg. at least his undershirt was white, offset the brightness a little

"Alright, now you. It's on me." he folded the clothes over his arm and put both hands on your shoulder, as if to nudge you. "Whatever you want. Gotta be classy though"

You had been spacing out but replied "They call it classy because it's stuff teachers would wear?"

Ace blinked, but you couldn't really see it through the sunglasses. "HUH. Never thought of it like that. You might be onto something."

Once you picked out your preferred outfit, Ace took you both to the dressing room.

"Better to know it fits now then having to take the duct tape to it right before the show." he had said.

AND GUESS WHAT. for once the sizing wasn't proper ASS BOOTY and it fit like a glove. I mean, it fit like, whatever you chose. which could be gloves yeahhh I fuck with those AND SO DOES ACE HE FUCKS WITH WHATEVER YOU CHOSE! bros sunglasses fell down and he called you hot. you could practically see little hearts circle his head, before he shook it and took your arm in his. "you got the clothes you came with?"

you nodded. "why?"

"Good. This is why" and then he simply. Walked out of the store. Why were you even surprised at this point. the sirens went off in the store but he simply ignored them. And he got away with it. and the awards ceremony ended up being awesome btw

[arttrampbelle]

Disney ask game:

💖 Favorite movie?: honestly it's hard for me. But i love all the classics. But hunchback of Notre dame,beauty and the beast,sleeping beauty,snow white,mulan,and i know it's unpopular opinion but i loved pocahontas for two reasons. One i had zero to nothing for representation growing up knowing and having native background (now i might have better rep but again this was younger me) and two i just liked it face value. And that's ok. I know the real history,and i can like AND give valid criticism for a piece of media. Oh and i love treasure planet,and princess and the frog. Underrated af movies.

💕 Favorite underrated movie/show?: like i said treasure planet and princess and the frog.

💀 Least favorite movie?: i don't know. Im not really a fan of "modern" disney films. It's not that they aren't fun or good. It's just they dont have the same charm ya know? Plus older disney movies weren't afraid to get raw and real. Like bro,we aint never getting another hunchback of Notre dame.

🖌 2D animation or 3D animation?: i prefer 2d but some 3d is fine.

🌄 What movie has the prettiest animation?: honestly i can't say. There's too many i love.

🎶 Which movie has the best music?: hunchback,the lion king,mulan,beauty and the beast,honestly there's too many. I'd say hunchback has the best overall ost. Because holy shit. Im not religious by any means,not heavily at least(i do believe but not by the book but by my heart) but church choir and those chants and deep bells give me goosebumps every time.

📣 Which remake is the best?: honestly not many remakes and sequels of disney work. Some are ok but poorly executed.

🤡 Which remake is the worst?: ok as for sequels. Hunchback because of it felt like a pity movie for quasi and i hated it. As for live action remakes i dont like any of em. But beauty and the beast because i just do not like emma watson. I dont hate her,i just dont like her vibe. *shrug*

🪄 If you could change 3 things about any movies/shows, what would you change?: honestly lemme get really real for a sec. There is several movies id change but i wanna change that quasi and esmie get together in the end. Thats all i ask. And i want gaston punted into the sun. Im very simple to please.

🎥 If you could create/star in a remake, what would you do?: honestly i dunno. I'd kill it as belle I'd think but eh. I just wanna write my own movie.

🎞 If you could create an original movie, what would it be about?: any movie where the girl doesn't get with the guy. She doesn't need a sidekick. She's just doing her thing. And honestly we can learn a thing or teo from mulan. But if i could. I'd love to make a proper and honest to god movie about samurai. But tastefully done. Tome gozen movie anyone? Or a simple movie about friendship. And the importance of it. And platonic relationships being just as important as Romantic ones.

🎨 Have you ever made fanart? (Share if you’re comfortable and it’s sfw!): yes. But not much. As of yet. I'll share when i get something i feel is worth to share.

🦜 Favorite animal sidekick?: honestly i dunno. Iago is adorkable. R.i.p Gilbert godfrey. I miss you. There's too many i like and think is adorable and fun but i dont really pay attention to that when i watch a disney movie. I pay attention to vibes. You feel with disney my dudes.

💃 Favorite character?: too many to list. Fr. I just have too many i think is just neat and deserve a seat at the table. ♡ my fave villains however are judge claude frollo,falicifer,hades,cruella(the real one not the prequel weird one they made),Ursula(my beautiful sea queen!),jafar,and scar. Sorry im a villains kinda gal more than a princess gal.

[sentofight]

ooc. i was talking to sin the other day about lindow rarely getting too serious/ mad/ upset or show these emotions. he is always cheery and happy because why else wouldn't he be? like, what does it help being gloomy or over-the-top serious? not his mojo you know lmao.

but then you remember that one time lindow got so pissed of with MC and punched him ;;u;;

you know what that made me realize? lindow is scared of his influence more than anything. like, MC here went berserk to save lindow (and the client) which made him sustain injuries. (i cant read whats written for my life but you can tell lindow gave him a lecture and MC fought back something like you are reckless too and lindow was whaaa punch!) perhaps something MC said along the lines of i did what you taught me//or i learned from you//you'd have done the same thing .. anything like that which made lindow snap.

i think i talked about this before but bird brain.

to think his cheerful attitude will backfire on him lmao. lindow realizes that he influences people easy with his charisma and strength which makes him desperate to drill into people that it is ok to flee if something got out of hand. he wants to affirm that just because they are strong does not mean they are invincible--they are fighting something that mutates every two seconds to become stronger. thinking about how his back makes people want to chase after the strength he got. being the ideal hurts him. he makes fighting so easy ngl and that illusion that they can get stronger kind of not ok u know lmao. most likely why when it comes to picking units, lindow makes sure he can pick the people who will team work and not 'reckless youth' on their own because he aint gonna shoulder your death too. still, he will take whoever in order to protect them and make them stronger in their own abilities. am i making sense? dunno. anyway.

all u need t know that being the strongest backfires on his ass because someone could just use the 'im doing what i learned from you' or 'im trying to follow your teachings' etc and that sparks something inside of him. like bruh i didnt teach you run to your death.

anyway look at them dorks sobs lindow literally cant keep you mad for too long. he wants to make it up quickly. waaaaa

stupid.....big bro and his dumdum lil bro ;;u;; yells softly

ANYWAY RENT FREE IMAGE. TIS WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN. EVEN IF I HAVE ALZAHEIMR I WILL REMEMBER THIS.

[wildcatofgreen]

@sonorous-strings asked:

►►

Send me ‘►►’ to see what my muse would be like if an important event in their life didn’t happen.

If Sonar never met Carol

. . .

Anonymous asked: How do you feel about Lilac?

The wildcat was sitting in her chair, balancing it on it's hind legs by pushing her foot against the desk. She was kind of just... bored? There wasn't really much to do--try outs for the Battlesphere thing were in a week, but she already knew she was a shoe-in. She's Carol Tea--why wouldn't she be a shoe-in?

So, when her gemerald lit up with a question--something to get her mind off of the nothing that occupied her brain, she lit up herself! Picked up the gem from her desk and spun it.

"She's my best buddy! We've known each other for like, years, decades even!!! I lov--"

Stopped herself, cleared her throat.

"The girl's incredible! Dunno what I'd do without my Lyli.

"Which, uh. Makes this whole ''her findin' her parents an' Merga'' thing kinda hard to sit through. She's been gone for... a while now. I'm kinda worried, y'know? Like, I'm sure she's fine, but... Iunno, I ain't think it'd be this hard 'ta be without her, y'know?"

#''kinda wish i decided to go with her anyway'' #''but lmao i cant NOT stay 'ta keep watch of cory y'know'' #''who tf knows what she'll get up to if i aint here 'ta bully her with my puns!!!''

---

Anonymous asked: How do you feel about Carol?

The dragon had been with Merga for a while now. She felt lucky that she found her so quickly! Who knew she'd be in Parusa? And who knew Parusa would have such a vast recess of water dragon technology!!! It was incredible to look at. This was just what she wanted too. More information about her people, maybe information about her family. Maybe things would get easier from here. Maybe she wouldn't have to worry so much anymore.

The dragon was currently trying to figure out that water dragon language!! It was really tough to get down!!! But she was interrupted by the wrist bracer she had found while searching the place. She didn't know what it did, but Merga had told her to put it on, that she might find out more about it if she just used it. That is, if she could figure out how.

So, when a little message popped up on it's sensors (apparently from some sort of gray face?), she was cautious, curious, but decided to answer either way.

"Carol? She's the best friend anyone could ask for. Used to call her my tail, too! Seriously, the bond we have is unlike anything else!!! We always did everything together, too. From watching the stars to grocery shopping to even sleeping together sometimes! And don't get me started on how much butt we kicked way back when!!!"

Anonymous asked: You two ''slept'' together?

"Not like that. We cuddled a lot when it was cold.

"Or when I...

"Anyway! Carol's like a little ball of warmth. You can't blame me for wanting to cuddle."

#I miss Carol's cuddles a lot... #I miss her more than I realize

---

Anonymous asked: Do you miss Lilac at all?

Getting deep now, weren't we?

"Tell me this--your gir--er, best friend who you've been with for practically all your life suddenly dips an' ya can't do nothin' about it. They're in some weirdo remote place with no access 'ta their phone so ya can't even talk 'ta 'em like ya wanna an' ya got no idea if they're okay or not. Would you miss 'em? Would you be worried about 'em? There is a wrong answer, an' ya will be graded on this."

#''seriously come tf on bro'' #'' 'do i miss lilac' is the sky blue mike foxtrot''

---

Anonyous asked: How do you think Carol's been doing?

"Knowing her? She's probably been getting herself into a TON of trouble with Lady Neera!" She giggled, "That girl couldn't stop stealing if her life depended on it!!!

"Really, she's probably fine. She's safe at the palace and she's got good company. Last I talked to her before my reception died out, I think she was going to try to be the Battlesphere Champion? Stones, I don't envy her.

"Carol HATES reading!!! If those contracts are as big as Lady Neera says they are, she's gonna be in for a rude surprise!!!"

#I wish I could be there to see her face! #I'm laughing just thinking about it!!!!

---

Anonymous asked: How long has it been since you've talked to Lilac?

"Like, Iunno, couple weeks? She stopped answerin' her texts awhile ago. Told her the Battlesphere thing was comin' up an' that was like... about it. Eugh.

"You think you guys can magic up some bravo sierra 'ta get her phone workin' again? Like that's all I could want, really. Please?"

#''do me a solid lemme talk to my girl again i miss her''

---

Anonymous asked: What do you regret the most?

". . .

"I tried to sneak out to find Merga. I didn't have a lot of my supplies at first so it was kind of a stupid move, but I didn't want anyone to know I was gone until it was too late.

"Looking back, I wish I didn't try it. Carol found me as I was leaving, and she looked so sad. She tried to hide it. But I've known her for years. She'd never be able to hide that from me.

"I hurt her. I made her feel awful. I don't know why I did that, I wish I knew. But hearing that nobody found Merga...? That she wanted me to look for her...

"I had to leave. This was my only chance to get any information about myself. or my heritage, or my parents.

"I just..."

#I wish I could forget how she looked that day... #I wish I could do it all again...

---

Anonymous asked: Biggest regret?

"Y'know Iun't hafta answer this. I could jus' leave ya be without your precious answered question, an you'll be sittin' here all cryin' like ''wah, wah, the famous and awesome carol tea aint answer my question, WAH''.

". . .

"Like, besides not killin' Brevon?

"Iunno. There was this one time where--"

Her head flashed the memory of her and Lilac's hug. How long the hug lingered, how warm it felt, how she didn't want to let go.

How, when she saw her face, it made her smile.

How, when she saw her eyes, she started to feel fuzzy.

How, when she saw her lips--

"Y'know what Iun't think we're gonna talk about this anymore.

"I regret not killin' Brevon. There, simple, done, easy. Ya want anythin' else?"

Anonymous asked: Are you gay?

"Half. I'm bi."

---

Anonymous asked: Are you gay?

"What's it to you?"

As if this gray face needed to know that! Sure, maybe she's thought about kissing a girl once... twice... okay, three times max!!! Or more. But that didn't mean these random strangers could know that kind of personal information!!!

#I don't really know /what/ I am right now. #I've never really thought about it before. #Kind of.

---

Anonymous asked: You ever kiss a girl?

"HA!

"I wish.

"I ain't ever meet a girl--nor a guy--who was ever interested enough 'ta wanna. It's kinda lonely, not gonna lie. Ya'know how many couples we saw in the wild when we were doin' that whole Merga adventure???

"Like, three!!!!

"All bein' smushy and lovey-dovey an' all that bravo sierra. UGH. What a pain."

#''dont help that one of them was merga and cordelia'' #''dont help that THEY WERE ALL GAY.'' #''I WANNA KISS SOMEONE STONES DAMN IT'' #''I AM SO JEALOUS. I AM /SO/ JEALOUS. SDI AAAAAAAA''

[quitealotofsodapop]

So I finally read the little post about all the Joke Meme for Chapter 3 Teaser and it made me wonder… Does Erlang ever get a win? Or will he ever get one?

Like to start off our man is going on a mission—ope, no he’s not he out cold with the frying pan to the back of the head. Oh but he’ll remember what happened and be mad—no he won’t, he thinks he’s the one person in Heaven’s history that partied harder than Sun “Casually Drank 50 bottles of Heavenly Wine and got his 12th of 27 immortalities while hammered” Wukong cuz of how he woke up.

But wait, the Harbinger of Chaos is gone, problem solver and hey, Wukong got back together with some theatre bitch he used to wax poetic about—Erlang takes one moment, one singular moment, and remembers that he thought said theatre bitch died??? Cannot fact check. Moves on with life.

Oh but suddenly the Harbringer is back???? They never defeated him????—Its in some Monkey Kid with Wukong’s powers and he just makes the (smart) decision to not personally go down there unless directly ordered by The Jade Emperor. And hey, there’s the Jade Emperor now and wait why is he locking himself in his throne room?

What’s that? Azure Lion and The Brotherhood are back and on a rampage to kill the Emperor? We’ll buckle up boys! Time to stop this overglorified pussycat and hey, uh, has Azure always looked that good? Like, Erlang thought he looked gold back in the day but, damn, he ages like a fine wine—but in a total bro way! Like, it’s not that he fantasized about Azure or anything in the past or present and wow did he always look good in the sunlight and battle? Wow…

All my rambling to say that from what I gather of Erlang Shen’s story trajectory is that he just unknowingly keeps taking L’s and I find it absolutely hilarious.

Erlang's whole vibe for the first couple of chapters is:

Wakes up covered in wine and dog slobber with the peach attendants yelling at him cus they think he partied Too Hard after a successful mission. Later the Jade Emperor congradulates him on a job well done, with SWK standing there smiling nervously with a broken egg shell thing? And in the corner Nezha's getting yelled at by General Li Jing for some reason??

Erlang's third eye is like "I dunno man. We must've been toasted last night." And Erlang just decides to play along with a stoic look on his face.

I love the idea of his Third Eye acting as a fact checker, but it doesnt give him the context or changelogs.

Erlang, thinking real hard: "Wait... isn't Wukong's mate dead?" *old 90s computer noises* "Nah he aint. Good for them."

And ofc Azure has been doing probation with Manjusri, since Wukong and the Celestial army had to crack down on Camel Ridge. So he and Erlang occassionally interact and spar and whoops, giant lion man hot ( •///•)

I think part of the hilarity comes from the fact that Erlang is destined to win his historical encounter with Sun Wukong no matter what. So in the au, he just keeps getting non-fatal Ls by just minding his own business.

He might just get a win however... if a certain nephew plays nice with that axe of his.

[ducknotinarow]

2k3 Raph 2k12 Casey - #

send me “#” for cell phone headcanons about our muses including:  

"Man thought this was all over with tired of ya being up in my business here. Whatever jus' the other Casey anyway. Definitely gave my Casey a run for his money when it comes to bein' a whackjob of course. He might have even less brain cells than my Casey dose and 'hats scary. I don't envy mini Raph one bit on havin' ta basically handle 'em."

 - what your muse’s name is in mine’s phone             'Nut Case'        

"Like I said 'his kid majorly got some screws lose in that head of his. Must taken way more hits to the head. Mini Raoh told me he got a metal plate in his head once when the guy complained about his head hurting, yeah I buy it. So seemed a fitting name sides it would gotten well awkward if I didn' make sure his name was different from Casey's in my phone. They end up next to each other...and I aint always that aware most times when I'm texting Casey. Bad enough the nut case hit me up with a look...and we don't gotta add fuel to the fire there. I know my self so I know mini Raph wouldn't take that well at all."

- what your muse’s picture is in mine’s phone

[Image description]  clearly out up on the roof tops, from the look of city lights in the background. You can just about make out the sight of Casey and mini Raph in the background of the photo. The picture cropped so it centered on to the other Casey instead. Dawning his 'gear' the face paint and all. As they seem too be just gazing out there's something about the express he's wear as his hand is positioned to pull down the hockey mask he doubled up on the skull motif he seems to be working with here. Or so to cover his face before Casey or his own Raph notice the expression on his face.          

"Wanna know what blows my mind more 'han the fact there are all these other worlds an' such? 'hat in a whole other world, where Case an' I seem ta meet in a whole different way have a whole different relationship nearly even. 'hat Casey is still Casey." Raph states Looking at the photo himself. "When I met my Casey, think he got to a good point of keepin' stuff to himself. Nut Case? I don' think he's learned to do 'hat yet..hope he never dose. I dunno think it's funny this kid to me is far from being anythin' 'ike my Casey yet I can tell from this look alone how much he misses home. I can tell he's acttin' cool under the situation but that look? he worried. Dunno if it's cause i'm Raph I jus' know that junk or if cause he Casey though."              

- what your muse’s ringtone is in mine’s phone      

A bad Idea by Michelle Creber                  

You can think that I’m insane But I'm not backing down again Find myself, fulfill my fate Hello, hello

Standing on the edge I'll claim The world will not forget my name Cause I don’t wanna hear you when you say Hello? It's a bad i- Hello? It's a bad idea

   "Yeah I really think 'his kids insane but when has a Casey I know ever been sane and have a good idea even?" Theres still a faint smile to his beak when he makes this remark despite his own words though. "Eh Kid might be a nut, and out there even compared to my own Casey, but eh what can I say crazy hot heads who don't back down easy if at all? Eh I got soft spot I guess for 'hat kind person. Sides 'his kid is real good with 'hat hockey stick of his when he ain't fuckin' around maybe he will make a name of his one day. In whatever way 'hat ends up bein' we'll see."

 - my muse’s last text to your muse

[text] Tell that jack as of a boy friend of mine if he don' fuckin' answer my call in the next five mintues it aint dragons that are getting thier ass beat tonight!

------

(sent from 12 raphs phone)

[text] he mini Raph distracted helping out my bro Don

[text] might be a while till he can answer ya u-u

[text] the fuck are these face things? 0-0

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[text] ya know you an can still got dragon hunting if ya up for it

[text] i'll be there either way so if ya wanna just meet me at the usual spot Case and I showed ya two

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[text] see ya kid, mini me really got his hands full with ya

[text] nah i think ya good for him actually, course I can tell

[text] if ya ever need help speaking Raph? well ya got my number

[pesterloglog]

Jake English, Roxy Lalonde

Act 6, page 4586

golgothasTerror [GT] began pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG]

GT: I still cant find dirk all i get is his jerkwad shades.

GT: Surprise sur freakin prise.

TG: jake enklish

TG: cant u see im fuck deep in all these stupid meowcats

GT: Oh.

GT: No?

GT: I cant see that actually.

TG: i m also

TG: fuck deep in busy

TG: what ist it

GT: Just seeing if you had heard from him yet.

GT: I would really like to speak with him today.

GT: You know like actually in person instead of through his aggravating liaison who is so far up his own ass with this hal 9000 schtick its ridonkulous.

GT: Is he avoiding me or something?

GT: I hope i didnt piss him off through some indiscernible slight. Gosh he can be sensitive.

TG: nah hes just

TG: biding his time i guess.....

GT: Huh.

GT: Well okey doke.

GT: Man i just had a crazy dream after getting coldcocked by his roughhouse droid.

TG: yeh theres been that goin around

GT: What?

TG: dreamin

TG: what was urs about

GT: Well i dont want to alarm you or anything...

GT: But it may just have featured none other than THE GIRL OF MY DREAMS????????

TG: WUT

GT: She had sharp funny horns and a nice blue dress and she may have been some sort of spidery vampire? I dunno. It was very brief but she waved to me.

TG: nonononoononno

TG: this wont do at all

GT: What wont?

TG: u slobberin over some alien dream girl

TG: fuck THAT im having enough a hard time keppin trach of the jakestakes as it is

GT: The jakestakes?

TG: the jakestakes

GT: Also who said she was an alien? I just thought she was some kind of pretty monster.

TG: listen bro i know u love adventures and dumb shit like that but you are forbidden from thinkin about her again

GT: Ok i mean this is a strange reaction roxy but ok.

GT: She was a figment of my imagination so what choice do i even have?

TG: exactically

TG: she was a fake girl so 4get it

TG: a fakey fakey fuke

TG: wait a minnit...

TG: has jane talked to u yet about anything?

GT: About anything? Yes i do imagine our last chat could fit that description.

TG: no

TG: i mean

TG: about anythin serious

TG: feelinswasy

TG: * wawys

TG: * waways

TG: * SHIT

TG: * about your emotions

GT: Not really.

TG: uuuuuugh

TG: i knew shed porcrastinate on this

GT: On what?

TG: can u just message her now

GT: Sure.

GT: But what are you talking about?

GT: Should i expect a serious exchange about feelings and whatnot?

TG: depenbs on the present magnitude of her tightassery

TG: someone needs 2 move you fuckers along an get some stuff out in the popen already

GT: Wait would this be about certain unrequited pinings you may have alluded to earlier?

TG: i didint say nothin and aint sayin anything to that effeft

GT: Indubitably. Miss zipper lips was it? Humorously misspelled of course.

TG: mmmmm!

TG: *zuip*

GT: I guess i cant help but wonder if that truly is the way she sees me or if it is just some wild ego stroking delusion on my part.

GT: I always get this sense that people sorta fancy me but who knows i could be just miles off the old rocker about that!

GT: Youre right i think its high time we cleared the air on some things even if there is a chance it gets all awkward and prickly.

GT: That is what being brave and adventurous is all about after all. It isnt just about summoning the courage to pilfer some priceless loot from trap laden catacomb. Or shooting at stuff with two guns at once.

GT: There are treacheries of the heart to consider!!!

TG: lol u f'n dork

TG: but yes do that

TG: shit i gotta go

TG: i think theres someone in here....

GT: Are you in danger?

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] ceased pestering golgothasTerror [GT]

GT: Hmm.