#if something isnt working for me
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Art blocked trying to work on comms so I studied instead
#i find that it makes me feel better#if something isnt working for me#it means i need to study more#smigglesart#tutorial#?#i guess??#idk man LOL
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whats wrong with my dog bruh 😂😭
#art#illustration#colored pencil#digitally edited quite a bit tho#black paper#horror#surrealism#unreality#this is what realistic quad fursuits make me feel like btw#no hate to ppl who make/wear/like them and theyre v impressive it just freaks me out#i think those kinds of fursuiters need to work in the film industry making practical effects for horror movies#like making a skinwalker or something similar#it looks like a dog at first glance but the way it moves isnt quite right and u realize its someone/something just mimicing a dog#animal uncanny valley to me
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you know, you know. no gods, no masters, no kings on pedestals. everyone is fallible. death of the author. you know! you are balanced about your intake of media - you allow the wiggle room, the grace, the gratitude, the skepticism. nobody above criticism.
but still. a weird gut-punch feeling, something akin to betrayal. you read the article. surprise! an author you love is actually: a serial fucking predator.
well, shit. what now. no, you knew he was a person (all people are), but now you're wondering - what have i overlooked by accident? what messages have i internalized that are strange and cruel? and also, like, what the fuck?
his actions lay a thick glaze on top of everything. like each place is now ruined, opaque in a new way. but okay, fine, you've done this before. you knew better, right? you've been betrayed by many a cherished childhood author.
still, this stickiness. fuck. can you pick up that book again. will you read it to your children. you've recommended it to others - will you ever do that again? and of course, of course, no parasocial relationships. you were theoretically above this kind of sentiment. but the artist informs the art, right.
so it's not something as clear-cut as feeling he owed you, specifically (a stranger) better behavior - just that you kind of, in a distant and odd way... sort of trusted him to do better. it's not like a real trust or something speakable, just the faint hope that the product (good books) was a thin representation of the soul. now it feels like the product (good? books?) was a mask. in some small or insignificant way, your previous support of this person lent them power. your money and your time and your laughter.
and the thing is - you have this terrible, echoing sensation. how many times will this happen? over and over. you find out that the singer you love is actually a predator. you learn over drinks that your favorite high school english teacher is in jail for what he did to her. you listen to the news idly and suddenly discover that a woman you used to idolize has been abusing her kids for an actual eon.
what can you touch without the static melting off. you can't even really complain about it too much (you were supposed to know better, and besides, you don't want the same re-split "it's not your fault, love what you love" basic advice), but now it's here. somehow, it feels like - you let him into your life.
it's not that things need to be pure or an artist has to be like, endlessly perfect, mindful. demure. it's more just this terrible truth that has been replayed through your veins so often it feels criminally vain. power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. did you want any one person to be worth that power?
it's just that he wrote books where he seemed to understand that. he seemed to know about hierarchies and unfair systems and bigotry and privilege. you thought they were books about what it means to struggle. you thought they were about having power and still using it for good rather than for control. he spooned you a narrative of being a good guy, a kind soul. you fucking bought what that fucking monster sold.
maybe that's why they were fantasies, after all.
#spilled ink#warm up#oh im .... sick to my stomach.#i talked to him. like ....... we talked. that man interacted with my poetry and writing.#that article.... gutwrenching. i am so sorry to everyone he's ever even been in the room with.#i feel.... like... unbearably. sick.#he acted like he was cool and friends with me!! we were cool internet writers together!!!!!#i feel sick for even having been polite to him.#i ...... am experiencing something so fucking complicated.#i wonder how many of u are feeling that too. like ''oh i sent him an ask and he was funny and sweet''#THATS HOW THEY GET U. ..... and YES I KNOW!!!#i am so fucking well-read about parasocial relationships. it would just be nice to like. trust that someone ISNT#hiding a huge fucking background of BEING A COMPLETE MONSTER. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK.#by the way i am not part of a fandom. this is “what the fuck i accidentally supported a rapist” not#“but my showww”. like i care far more about like. the human cost.#but also like... people are people. idk i saw a take on here about how nobody should mourn the books#and idk. people almost always reply to any scenario with their personal experience first -#''i knew him'' or ''wow i was just at that store'' or ''i grew up there'' or whatever. because that is how we establish connection &#emotional weight. that's just... a person thing. and there is a difference between 'oh this guy is a monster'' & the feeling of:#he's been a monster and i SUPPORTED THAT. i CELEBRATED him. i !!! a fucking victim myself!!!!!!!!! SUPPORTED . HIM.#i am sick. i feel so much pain for her and everyone he's ever hurt. saying ''the books are ruined'' is i think ... like how people say#they're shocked and disgusted by him. (obviously there's nuance here. im sure there's some creep doin it wrong. but u know. in general)#idk..... im an author. i understand my work is in your life in whatever small way. i understand that connection. it's real.
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rise leo does know whats going on with his brothers, dont you worry
previous part | all comics in this crossover (chrono) | tip jar (kofi)
#tmnt#rottmnt#tmnt crossover#rise of the tmnt#tmnt 87#tmnt 1987#rise leo#rise donnie#rise raph#87 leo#87 donnie#87 raph#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#tmnt leonardo#tmnt donatello#tmnt raphael#bulbasturtlesforever2#art#my art#lemme be honest i was working on this the day before my cat died and uhhhhhhhhhhhhh#then my dog 2 weeks later and motivation and drive drained out of me n uh yeah couldnt do art for a while!#and i can no longer tell how funny this is or isnt#but i wanted to push myself into trying to finish it cuz it was an idea i had before i got toooooo sad to think of bits!#and at the time i remember thinking aw yeah this is something#sorry if the quality since the last one has gone down i was gonna try and do more but i didnt wanna be more bad and then more mad ahhhhh#<--- ignoring that sad shit 87 raph is a the most little brother coded little shit and he knows it
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bedtime story with my love !!
#mine#cats#oooooooooogh im so cold....bath time bath time :3 !#i hope everyone is hvaing a good week i am now DONE with work !!!!! hehe !!!!!!!!!!#i might not do any drawing for a little while . maybe just felt tips#also. cannnot for the life of me decide what 2 read...am like 30% way thro assassins fate but Um its . a little intense so im taking a brea#idk what im in the mood for....something....fun... but isnt bad#i feel like all 'light' books r bad. maybe i will just reread the goblin emperor. as i always do when all else fails#also. am going ice skating tomorrow i am SO excited . i hvent been in so so long its so exciting !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#mwah. hve good evening :3
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hina... have you ever drawn nanami & yuji. pls i need to see them. my reluctant mentor and ray of sunshine. maybe eating together after a mission
cleaned up this request doodle from a while ago <3
#my art#answered#anonymous#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#nanami kento#yuji itadori#jujutsu kaisen fanart#sorry for getting to this so late anon :'<<<<#also sorry the art technically isnt new shkdg i tried to come up w a different setting fr them#thought abt them going fr ramen or something ? like an izakaya scene#but i wasnt happy w any of my sketches n took the easy way out gomen gjdghjj#i hope u still like the cleaned version!#well . “clean” gjhgssgj yuuji sweetie do u need a napkin#both of these pastries r based off ones we sold at the bakery i used to work at#u know . the one that put me into a 7 month depressed artblock n made me want to kms/srs#and speaking from experience. those filled croissants r not user friendly#crumbs + cream + fruit + syrup drizzle + chocolate...all EVERYWHERE smh#also nanami's looks like a cookie but it's not i promise. it is a raisin danish bc he has th palette of an old man at 27
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#mod chilchuck#dungeon meshi#kabru#we have inventory tomorrow so i was asked to pick up a shift today#i really dont wanna#i already had to get xrays today and i have something else later in the evening#so today is a long day :(#this is usually my day off#i hate being one of 3 people at my store that isnt a highschooler (besides the managers)#< and one of the other 2 doesnt even work during the day so its really like. just me and another person that isnt good at very much
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If you are a fan of anybody's work, whether it be art, writing, music, translating, editing, videos, etc- it is incredibly important that you share that you enjoy their work.
It could be a comment, a tag, an anonymous ask saying thank you or something about their most recent piece you enjoy, anything. Creation is more often than not a social thing, and a little note or comment really goes a long way. People are sharing a little piece of themself every day, here on the internet!
So if you don't mind a little challenge, on the next piece of art* you see that you find personally impactful, leave a little tag or comment saying something about how much it means to you.
*this includes writing, music, edits, jokes, anything that has undergone the act of being created by a person
#text#rambles#something I need to get better at but I try. It gets easier the more you do it I promise#important asterisk about respecting boundaries. its a given but still putting this here#this isnt for me btw. im just noticing how far positive feedback or interaction goes#but the amount of people i have seen grow and bloom just because someone said that they liked their work. its a lot#even the motivation I feel at someone recognizing a joke I made in an art piece and riffing off it! it is genuinely so motivating#just thinking about how there is a person behind every piece of artwork. edit. post. video. etc. (not ai)#and sometimes its important to remember that. and to let them know that you see them
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oh ok so its the usual no-homo bullshit you always hear, good to know.
#wwdits#what we do in the shadows#guillermo de la cruz#nandor the relentless#nandermo#look im a reasonable guy#i dont get worked up easily and ive been around writers rooms and understand the pressures of writing a big show like wwdits#hell i even liked season 4#but this has got to be one of the most offensive bs ive read that wasnt from 2015#‘its only a small (but vocal) amount of people that actually want to see them together’#‘their love isnt ~s*xual~ they dont need to kiss its more ~profound~ than that’#‘you don’t REALLY want to see them together! (thats gross!)’#also ‘the power dynamic is ~problematic~’??? are you kidding me???#jfc its like someone literally got this out of the queerbating handbook from 2010#and like yeah i know wwdits isnt queerbating but its queerness feels more performative when it treats an actual central relationship#like its a gross kinkything only a few freaks on the internet want#instead of a legitimate plausible story that deserves exploration#nandermo should be a triumph - a victory for the characters and something the writers should be pleased with writing#not…this.#like it’s some problem pressured reluctantly upon them that needs to be carefully defused#this has left a bad taste in my mouth
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drawing a silly little version of myself in silly little shows because creating silly little fantasies and daydreaming about silly little characters is no longer enough to keep my silly little mind from exploding.
#maladaptive daydreaming#maladaptive coping#maladapting daydreaming disorder#actually mdd#autism wasnt enough so i had to have mdd aswell#the worst part is that it isnt even all that bad.#its just kind of tiring to “wake up” from something you carfully curated uet isnt even real#and you put so much work into so many different stories or fantasies only for you to blink twice and see its fake#but it's keeping me alive#maladaptive behaviors#mha#haikyuu#hq#my hero academia x reader#haikyuu x reader#jjk#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaison#naruto#Naruto x reader#izuku x reader#bakugou x reader#sukuna x reader#button mashing for fun lols!!#rottmnt#self insert art#artists on tumblr#help
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hrmm maybe i should rewatch first class
maybe i can skip over beach divorce and pretend they all got a happy ending
i’ll rewrite the ending to cherik getting married and having a bajillion kids
boom perfect
i’m kinda tired 🙁
#its day time though so the chances of me going back to sleep is zero#hrrmm my brain isnt working to come up with something funny#cherik#erik lehnsherr#magneto#charles xavier#professor x#x men#wish does not shut up#xmen first class
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#wip#he's fighting holographic training dummies supplied by her kingdom#no cookies are in his path of destruction dw#when goldie isnt in the mood to spar she brings up holo training dummies for bspice to play with instead#bs cant technically go full blown pacifist. virtue of destruction. duh. doesn't mean gc cant give him something to obliterate safely though#i have other wips for them and some other cookies im just struggling to get the inspo and motivation.#also terribly sorry for disappearing out of the blue. my top hyperfixation decided it was time to steal my train of thought again#im gonna keep working on crk as much as possible but haikyu has got me in a choke hold again so bear with me'''#cookie run kingdom#crk#golden cheese cookie#burning spice cookie#burningcheese#goldenspice#art#crnl's crk journal
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Two former military elites taking merc jobs perform absolutely hellish battle tactics together.
#ffxiv#digital art#zenos yae galvus#estinien wyrmblood#adventurer zenos#I will always adore this duo conceptually#because like- socially theyre that aragorn-geralt brooding in a corner of a tavern meme#but in combat they are absolutely terrifying#the azure dragoon and the super soldier legatus are here to fuck up a poachers day#aka zenos is about to crossmap someone's airship cause he knows estinien cant make himself jump that far#why have him try to jump when he can just Olympic-level javelin toss this man#also guys#my dudes#all this time I've been working on adven!zenos being a tank#I... have realized I just write him like a warrior who isnt carrying a weapon- sturdy unkillableness and countering and all#I am only a little bit of a dumbass but orogeny just seems to live in my head rent free#it also gave me the terrifying concept of- after spending time with the scions and after the ultimatum-#of him trying to learn more about dynamis- and zenos being zenos starts learning eventually how to harness it#local calm apathetic man can berserk on command because he's a lot angrier/more expressive inwardly than most people expect#depending on how I look into it- it might be how he fuels most of his shinryu transformations but I'll have to work on it more#but ANYWAYS#I love the thought of these two hunting and working together#and estinien being tossed being turned into a tactic#especially with proper form#this is something ive wanted to draw for a very long time and im very happy I actually have the skill to do so now
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Y'ALL. Y'ALL so for a long time I've believed that "the sun" in Meursault's story is Carmen, and I went to check Hell's Chicken's dialogue to see exactly how he said that he'd dealt with distortions before, and... you know what else he said?
To my knowledge, it is a phenomenon where an individual morphs into a form often unfit to be considered “human”. It has no known causes, and the appearances were all different.
Unfit to be considered human.
Meursault, who, in his book, was judged by the court to be soulless.
Meursault, who has EGO for Cyborgs who have been so mutilated they barely act like people anymore; a murderer who was experimented on until ceasing to be human; a sheep named after Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?, a novel about the humanity of androids and the inhumanity of humans; and now a rose that can't help its bloodsucking nature, based on Carmilla, a vampire whose story emphasized the duality between her vampiric traits and her human ones.
Meursault, who answered Heathcliff's ironic question of if he had metal for brains like this:
I'm placing my bets now, that line from Hell's Chicken is foreshadowing for Meursault's canto even more than "I have witnessed a number of [distortion] cases in the past" was
#limbus company#project moon#meursault#sorry if my info on carmilla is off i still havent read the book#me post#CLARIFYING IN THE TAGS: MEURSAULT IS HUMAN#it would be a disservice to his character and honestly pretty gross if he ended up not being human#the entire point is that he IS human and that other people perceive him as otherwise because of how he behaves#so I guess theoretically if he did distort it would exacerbate the issue?#extremely speculative but there are distortions who can behave pretty normally while distorted#like the marksman of the mist (and also some of the reverb ensemble but those people are all full of issues WAYYY bigger than marksman was)#if meursault was one of those...#someone calling him unfit to be human. it's fine it definitely won't leave a scar on his psyche#i think in his canto there might end up being something about how even though people don't see distortions as humans#distorting is a very human thing to do#anyway i think overall there's juxtaposition with him and don quixote#don isnt human and wishes she could be#meursault is human but people don't think he is#yknow despite my theories it would probably be more poignant if he DIDNT distort#them looking at him and assuming he only couldve done something like that if he distorted but he didnt#oh wait but the timeline... they probably wouldn't have known about how distorting works yet#nevermind back to the first idea#they ask why. he talks about a beautiful voice. no one knows about this yet and they all think there's something deeply wrong with him#'a beautiful voice convinced me' holds up in court about as well as 'the sun was too bright'
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Barbara who wants so badly for Cass to be happy, but not realizing her way of becoming happy is different for Cass
She thinks being a "normal" teenager and doing "normal" teen things will make Cass happy, because they made herself happy
But they dont
Barbara who just wants Cass to be happy and doesn't know how to do so
#something something bruce also wants cass to be happy but THIS ISNT ABOUT HIM#work life balance failed LMAO#Barbara loves cass so much all she wants is that girl to be happy#“oh what about that one scene were cass hallucinated Barbara-” IT WAS A HALLUCINATION THAT WWS DRUG INDUCED#it was how cass felt about what Barbara was doing NOT what Barbara was actually doing#cass felt babied by Barbara and like Barbara was trying to live vicariously through her#but Barbara wasn't actually trying to do that (i mean you can argue all parents are vaugely trying to live through their kids BUT)#yeah. anyways#barbara gordon#cassandra cain#oracle#batgirl#dc#they are the mother daughter duo of all time. fucking. Cassandra Gordon to me.
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i've finally represented their height difference accurately. i can retire now.
based on this classic
#🐉#the silt verses#VAL thesiltverses#shrue#jart#i promise im working on something else that isnt just these guys again but this is what i have for now. youre welcome.#also their shirts are much greyer than they looked when i coloured them and its pissing me off but im not editing it again#the peninsulan government spent all their money on war saints so their laundry budget is fucked i guess
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