#if she'd have been that child would she have turned too......
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rewatching star wars and REYLOOOOOOo!!!!! I FORGOT HOW INSANE ThEY ARE!!!!!?!!!!!!!!!!
Kylo: Can you see my surroundings?
Rey: You'll pay for what you did.
Kylo: I can't see yours. Just you.
#their whole thing makes me insane#star wars#reylo#(btw if you strongly dislike them there's no need to interact with this post thank you 🥰)#i swear hate + fascination + violence LIkE!!!#mirroring.....#if she'd have been that child would she have turned too......#not telling luke she just had a little mind zoom call with ben......
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Just got all the memories.... Brb I'm going to curl up and cry now. My girl...........
#Zelda bestie.... 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 Above and beyond you gave 10000 percent I couldn't be prouder#You're still in there I know you are sweetheart I'm coming to get you back ToT#You're coming home okay. You're coming home. We're going to get you home now#You're beautiful darling but it's time to come home.#She did so much 🥺😭 all the adults around her were dying and failing and she kept on going past any point of reasonable breakdown#Every zelda game I have such huge respect for zelda because they're always stuck in a trial of endurance and they have to keep all composur#Because so many people are depending on them even then. Keeping it together no matter what so you can share a few droplets of your knowledg#To the hero through the bars on your window. The hero of your ancestors and you have to believe he'll come for you too because he#Is literally the very last hope. For you. For the kingdom.#Oot zelda fled the castle and hid as a shiekah for nearly all her teenage life. Abandoned the stronghold her father dead only her nursemaid#Ss zelda was chased through time and space and eventually sealed herself away to prevent the demons getting her. Lbw zelda was turned into#Painting. Tp zelda was locked in her rooms in an occupied castle where the air was toxic and still got up in the morning and did#Her hair and wore her dresses and avoided aggressing the guards and sacrificed herself to save her fellow princess.#Hw zelda had to fake her death in the middle of a war. She's been sealed away and locked up and beaten down until she doesn't know which wa#Is up and still she perseveres. Courage is a bright flashing firework of danger and thrill.#Wisdom is a long hard slog through the worst moments of your life and making self destructive decisions because that's the only avenue left#Because your faith is balanced on the knifes edge of a near stranger child and his untested skills and unproven loyalty and unknown strengt#And totk zelda... There was one path open to her. A crazy one. She could have made a life for herself. A peaceful one.#But there was only one way that would allow her hope. And she gathered all the information. Weighed the risks.#When she made her choice it was calculated. In full knowledge of what she was doing. She'd just escaped a century of waiting. Torturous.#And she did it all again. For hyrule. For hope. For her stupid swordsman she watched fall off cliffs and drown in ponds and save the world.#Wisdom has chosen courage once more and shown more of it than power ever will.#We have to bring her home. That is the only way this story ends.#loz#legend of zelda#tears of the kingdom#Totk#loz totk#loz tears of the kingdom#loz zelda
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i have this little thought bouncing around in my head! single father simon. (a drabble)
*shrug*
simon ends up with his daughter winnie after her mother abandons her at his doorstep. he was the father, it was his turn to take care of her. simon could handle warfare, he could handle guns and sweat and metal. he could handle blood and bruises.
but a fussy newborn was a little too much for him.
enter you, it was your summer off from university and you were making extra money by babysitting for parents who couldn't afford weeks of posh summer camps. it was decent work and you were pretty good with them! so being concerned for your neighbour, simon's well being, you offered to watch winnie.
simon very well fell in love with you the moment you took the baby girl into you arms. winnie instantly got settled into your grasp, almost like you were her mother.
"what a lovely baby girl." you cooed, you looked at her with such affection already. you looked at simon and smiled, "she looks too cute to be yours." a playful jab.
you watched winnie while simon was at work. you didn't know what he did for work, but you tried not to ask too many questions. all you knew was that the checks didn't bounce when you cashed them.
but being with winnie for so many days had gossip go through the apartment building. you had a baby with simon? why were you in two separate apartments? where did the lovely newborn sleep? she SHOULD be sleeping with her mother (you).
when you tried to correct them, simon always said, "ah don't worry. we'll be havin' our own place soon enough!" his large hand snaked around your waist.
you just looked down at winnie who was sound asleep in her stroller. she couldn't care less who her mommy and daddy were. it wouldn't be hard to be the mother she'd otherwise be without, right?
that was the angle that simon too.
you'd make the most perfect mrs. riley. you were already taking care of winnie, but also him when he came home. you shouldn't be the nanny, you should be winnie's mama.
"she really loves you." simon remarked when you went with him to the pool.
you were in a one piece swim suit and you were making sure that the baby was out of the sun and had sunscreen on. you didn't want her to get sick or burned.
currently she was resting on your chest while you were in the shade. in your free hand you had a book in it and the other was on winnie's back. you said, "i don't know what you're talking about." as if you hadn't heard the comments from the little old ladies about how sweet you two looked.
"look like a real mama."
you looked to him and raised your eyebrows, "i thought i was the babysitter, mister riley."
simon placed a hand on your thigh then rubbed up and down, "nah."
it didn't take long for you and simon to get intimate. he asked you to stay because winnie had been having trouble sleeping. you two shared a glass of wine and then you found yourself face first into simon's bed. the scent of him filled your head as he fucked you into the comfortable mattress.
he loved the sound of your pussy as he fucked you without much abandon. the thickness on your hips would only grow once he made sure his next child was inside of you. you'd be such a good mama, unlike that previous bitch who left him.
maybe there was a good reason why she left him.
cum clung to the fuzz on your pussy lips and was a bitch to clean in the shower come morning.
he woke you up and said, "she needs her mama. she gettin' fussy, doll." then watched you stumble around to find clothes to wear while you checked on winnie as if the little girl was your own. his hand was wrapped around his cock. he wondered how many more times he could finish in you before you stumbled back to your apartment.
the answer was four.
it wouldn't be easy carrying for a sprouting little baby plus the baby boy you were currently pregnant with. you've put school off for a little while and moved in with simon, your due date was in the middle of the semester. now you were trying to figure out what food was good for a teething winnie while also trying to manage the riley son that was occupying your womb.
you were making dinner for your growing family with a cute little maternity dress of. simon was at the table with winnie. he knew that one day he'd have to tell her that you weren't her actual mama. but you were raising her and her little brother too.
"see there's mama." simon said in that grumbled voice of his, pointing in your direction.
you didn't imagine that you would've ended up as a stay-at-home mother to two children who were than a year apart. but as you felt the shift of your 'second' baby inside of you, you smiled.
you heard winnie make a little noise to get your attention. you checked on the pot of sauce on the stove before you turned away to check on your little girl.
#call of duty#bunny drabbles#call of duty modern warfare#bunny speaks#call of duty smut#reader insert#call of duty x reader#ghost call of duty#simon ghost riley fanfiction#simon ghost riley#simon ghost#simon my beloved#simon riley#pregnant reader#simon riley x you#simon ghost x reader#simon riley x reader#ghost mw2#simon ghost smut#ghost smut#baby sitter au
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I'd Fight The Devil
Pairing: Alastor x fem! reader
Background: reader is Lilith and Lucifers oldest, and resembles Lilith more. Lucifer has a hard time bonding with her because of this, and Alastor decides to step in.
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
"DAD'S COMING?!"
(Y/N) Morningstar, firstborn daughter of Lilith and Lucifer, was currently having a breakdown over the fact that her father was on his way to the hotel.
She'd have no issue leaving, of course, but Charlie tricked her dear old sister into staying by saying she needed help with the hotel. . .and told her their dad was coming when he was two minutes away.
It's not like she didn't miss him, but things became different once their mother disappeared. Lucifer threw himself into his ideas, and (Y/N) tried maintaining their relationship but he couldn't even stand the look of her.
"I'm sorry! But I thought maybe you guys could talk while he's here?" Charlie suggested with a gulp, twiddling her fingers.
"I'm done trying with dad. If he wants to talk, he can come to me," (Y/N) crossed her arms, firm on her stance.
"I never thought I'd meet someone with worse daddy issues, but here you are, cher," Alastor, with his famous grin, looked down at the Princess of Hell. She huffed, not in the mood for his side comments.
"Alastor, please-"
"He's here!"
"-please fucking hide me!" She ran behind him, despite the mass amount of blonde hair making it obvious.
He chuckled.
Honestly, since meeting the eldest Morningstar, Alastor deemed himself her Protector. Not that the girl wasn't capable or needed him persay, but he cared for her. Being on the aroace spectrum, he wasn't plagued by a selfish desire to fuck her, but it was a sweet concern that slowly turned into a need to be near her.
A need to make her his.
"Hopefully he doesn't-"
"Pumpkin?"
"Fuck," (Y/N) silently cursed under her breath before Alastor stepped aside.
"Hey dad," Lucifer felt a pang in his sinister heart at her tone. She sounded uncomfortable and wouldn't even look at him, but he also remembered that he couldn't look at her at times.
It reminded him of happier times.
Times he didn't want to be reminded of anymore.
"So how've you been? Heard you've got a fancy job now. Probably making loads of money, huh?" He chuckled nervously.
"Dad, it's my company. I made it."
And he couldn't even remember that she did that?
Any dad would remember that his child created her own business.
"Ouch."
"And it's got a fucking duck on the logo. God, dad," She rose her voice, "you can't even remember that?"
"I've been busy, pumpkin-"
"Too busy to call? Too busy to even fucking call?!"
Charlie flinched at the harshness in her voice. She's always been a firecracker but she's never seen her so angry.
"I'm not fighting with you, (Y/N)," Lucifer stepped towards her, "why do you insist on fighting? Especially when I'm here for Charlie."
"Oh, you're here for Charlie?" Her horns started to come up through her skin, rolling back like a rams.
Just like her mom.
"I'm not making this about me. I just wish you'd make the effort instead of it having to be me," She missed who he was.
And during this, Alastor could see the pain on her face. She was furious, and rightfully so.
But he let her fight her own battles.
"I'm sorry that I look like mom. Is that what you want me to say?!"
"Yes!"
He didn't mean it. Of fucking course he didn't mean it, but it slipped out.
"Dad! That's enough!" Charlie ran to her, seeing tears well up in her sisters eyes. "How could you say that?"
"Pumpkin, I-"
"Don't," She sniffled, holding Charlie close, "don't come near me."
But he didn't listen.
He hated being the fact that his little girl was crying because of him.
"I think you've come far enough," Alastor spoke, getting infront of Charlie and (Y/N). He is excellent at saving face, so his pure unadulterated rage was hidden beneath his smile.
She hiccuped behind him, sobbing into Charlie's shoulder.
"Don't make me move you," Lucifer glared.
"And don't make me fucking kill you for hurting what's mine."
His voice turned more static-like than before, his eyes a burning red and his horns outstretched. He was a fucking shield for his Princess, and not even the King of Hell could get through. Lucifer recognized this and humbly backed away, retreating with his tail between his legs.
_ _ ☆ _ _
(Y/N) spent the next hour crying in her room. Over the years, she had started to hate herself for looking like her mom, and Lucifers' confirmation only reaffirmed it.
"Need anything else?" Charlie asked her. Although her sister wasn't searching for redemption, she had her own personal room in the hotel.
"Can you get Alasto-?"
A knock sounded at the door.
"Was he there the whole time?" She sniffled, and a muffled "maybe" came through the door.
Her bed was surrounded by napkins that she quickly placed on her bedside as Charlie allowed Alastor inside.
Alone.
The two of them.
Might as well just throw them condoms and say get to it, is what (Y/N) was thinking. She's known about her crush on The Radio Demon for a few months now, having a fantasy dream here and there, but wasn't much of an active person herself.
"Thank you. I know he tried to fix it, but I couldn't stand to look at him," Her puffy eyes made Alastors eye twitch, still a small spout of anger for her father.
"Of course, my dear," He sat himself next to her on the bed.
"Because your father, although the King of Hell, is a fucking coward", is what he wanted to say but kept those words for himself.
"Did you mean it? That I'm yours?" She asked, her hand inching closer to his.
"I never say anything I don't mean, cher," He grabbed her hand, kissed it, and made the she-demon gasp.
"I thought you hated touch."
He chuckled, "Oh, I do, but not if it's you. Your skin is warm, and it brings me comfort. You bring me comfort."
"You'd have me, even if I want to be glued to your side? Even having petty fights with my dad?"
"Darling, I'd wear your skin if you asked."
"Oh, how romantic," She blushed before both his hands came up to her face, bringing her into a needy kiss. With her, he needed to feel her.
Someday, even all of her.
"And I'd eat demons with you," She whispered against his lips.
"Oh my heart may burst, my dear."
Taglist: @lorkai @droopingdatura @tr1coo @randomuser-89 @abbiedail @evelin1o1 @sseleniaa
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Last time I went to the village to buy bread I saw a woman in the street who was dressed like a 19th-century peasant, complete with a thick old-timey accent with dialect words no one uses anymore—she was telling a little group of people to follow her so of course I had to drop everything and follow her too.
And it turned out she was a theatre actress who has read a lot of local archives in libraries and town halls, and offered her services to organise guided tours of various villages to tell people about local history in a fun way, by playing characters who lived here in the Middle Ages, the 19th century, or WWII. It's such a cool idea! I talked to her for a bit after the visit and she said she wasn't sure it'd work / attract enough people, but she had groups of tourists + local families show up for the visit every week, in every village where she did this, so she think she'll be hired again next summer.
When I joined their group she was talking about WWII, and how my & other nearby villages were known by the Nazis and Vichy as a hotbed of terrorists, with some Gestapo officers killed in bomb attacks. (In retaliation the Nazis eventually rounded up 100+ locals and deported them to camps, as well as shooting a few.) I was mostly familiar with WWII anecdotes from the North-East, where my grandparents lived during the war, and I found it funny how different they sounded—my grandfather made Resistance activities sound well-planned and careful (espionage, sabotage, underground presses, infiltrating railway services etc) while oral histories around here make them sound a lot more spontaneous and—handcrafted? like "Emile brought what we needed for the bomb in his wheelbarrow hidden under a layer of straw and we exploded 2 Nazis."
We then went to visit the former girls' school, and I learnt a lot about my country's history of education for girls! Also it was really sweet because there was an old lady in our group who had attended this school as a child and had lots of school memories to share. Most of them were very wholesome, until eventually our tour guide went "Surely you also have some School Mischief to tell us about" and the old woman at first was like no no no no, I was a good girl. And then she conceded that when she had to sort lentils for the nuns' dinner and she resented one of them for berating her in class, she'd do a shit job on purpose and leave some little stones in the lentils.
Then our last step was the fairground where the town fair was (and is still) held, and our tour guide told us little 19th-century anecdotes (in-character, more like acting them out) that she'd found in old postcards and letters in the archives—how the town fair was where you'd go for your dentist appointment (i.e. to have your bad teeth pulled with pliers with no pain medicine) and to get any object repaired, like damaged pans or clogs; how there were dancing bears and performing monkeys; how one year the merchant who sold linen for women's trousseaus had her linen display trampled "by 300 cows" (might have been an exaggeration) and she hit the cow herder and it started a massive brawl.
My favourite anecdote was how back in the 1800s the local innkeeper was frustrated by the fact that the nearest village is just 10km away, and people who came to the fair often decided to go spend the night there so their journey back the next day would be less long, and so he started to tell them about the beast that lives under the bridge between the two villages. Travellers say horses go mad when they see it and just jump into the water. Some say the beast has dug up corpses from the cemetery because it likes human flesh, though of course it prefers it fresh. I'm now convinced half of local legends were single-handedly created by business savvy innkeepers determined to get more customers than the rival inn 10km away.
I'm sad I only learnt about these visits at the end of summer when they're coming to an end, but I'll definitely follow this woman around again if she returns with more stories next year!
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Nesting.
Cregan Stark x pregnant!reader
Summary: the reader has nesting habits while carrying their child. It's worrying Cregan to no end.
Masterlist
A/n: based on an incredible ask! He's so girl-dad-coded. Sorry, but I said the thing and I'm not taking it back. Girl dad.
.......................................................
Cregan stepped into their chamber and paused. "My love, what are you doing?"
His seven month pregnant wife looked over her shoulder. "Tidying."
She was currently standing on her small vanity bench, now pulled over to the bookshelf where she had been wiping at the dust on the highest shelf.
His hands came up, ready to catch her at a moment's notice as his body moved closer. "Why, sweet girl? Why not rest?"
She sighed to herself. "The birth is nearing. I need to be prepared."
"Love, dust on a six foot bookshelf is not something the babe will be checking." He placed a firm hand on her lower back. "Why don't you come down from there?"
Though she didn't want to, fighting him was utterly useless. "I don't know if I-"
He had already grabbed her, keeping her in a bridal carry as he moved to the bed. The slight groan from her made him pause. "Your back hurting you again?"
"Never stops," she muttered with a hand over her forehead, "It's like your child enjoys his mother's suffering."
"His? You think a boy?"
"It has to be," she whined. "It needs to be. I don't think I can take this many more times." When his face fell, a light smirk came over hers. "I can only clean the shelves so many times."
He scoffed in amusement. "You little minx." Usually a teasing comment like that would result in the two under the covers, but during this stage, it only made him more cautious of every move.
He set her down softly on the bed, taking extra care to hold her lower back.
She let out another groan at the movement but the ache subsided for a moment.
"Sit tight. I'll have someone fetch something to eat." And he stepped out of the room.
It was only a minute. A moment even. But still, when he returned, she was sitting in front of the fire, leaned back on her heels.
"What are you doing?" His voice echoes sharply.
Her hands flinched back as if she'd touched the fire itself, her body turning as much as possible to him. Her eyes were watery. "You're angry," she whispered.
The burly man forced himself to take a breath. "I'm not."
"No, you are."
"Fine. I am. But love, what is this?" He bent down to her level and grabbed her wrists, showcasing the ash across her palms.
"It was… it was so filthy across the front here. I've been staring at it for days. I just need to finish-"
"-With your bare hands? With these pretty little hands you intend to wipe ashes from a burning fireplace?"
"Just the front-"
"-And now I've got to wash all of this off you, don't I?" It sounded condescending, like scolding a child, but the light twinkle in his eyes proved that he enjoyed caring for her even when it exhausted his efforts.
"I was only trying to to help."
Her watery eyes were causing his heart to ache with a slight devastation. "I know, I know. But you're too close to the flames for my liking. Our little pup will melt."
A silent sob wracked through her at the mere thought of harm to their unborn child. Harm that was her fault.
"Oh, sweet girl. I didn't- I- oh, gods," he tucked an arm around her. "None of that. Let's wash you up."
"But the ash-"
"-When you get into bed, I'll handle the ash. Alright?" He asked quietly with a hopeful look in his eyes.
Her eyes searched his for a way to truly know he meant what he was saying. To wake in the morning to the sight of ash still in place was unbearable at the moment. "Alright."
"Alright," he confirmed with a relieved smile. "Alright. Let's get you up, yes?"
She nodded as he he helped her up and sit on their sofa. He held her hands palm up and gave her a stern look. "Stay here."
He moved to the small water basin by their beside and dipped a cloth in it, soaking it completely before moving back to her.
He cradled each hand gently as he wiped at the ash on her hands, taking care to wipe as much as he could. "Ash is dangerous, my love. I want you to tell me next time you want it cleaned."
"I thought I could do it quickly," she explained.
"Just promise me you'll tell me what you want done rather than doing it yourself. I don't want you to overexert yourself."
She heaved a defeated sigh. "Alright."
He kissed her forehead. "Thank you. We'll wash you and get you to bed."
…
A week had passed in which Cregan had constantly ushered her to their bed, the nearest seat, and even having her sit in his large seat during petitions as he stood next to her.
But today he had yet to see her, and he began to miss her.
The moment the petitions ended, he excused himself to his solar, where he knew she'd be cuddled up with one of her few books.
He was right. The door opened, and he grinned at the sight of his wife with his cloak wrapped around her, reading away at the book he was sure she'd read at least seven times now. "Enjoying yourself?"
Her head shot up. "I didn't expect to see you for another few hours."
"I finished early. You know I can't stay away for too long."
She set her book away as he entered the room.
He kissed her softly and rubbed his thumb across her cheek. "What did you do with your day, pretty girl?"
She fidgeting with her hands. "I read quite a bit. That's all."
His brows twitched. "That's all? Just reading?" He knew better.
"Just that."
He ran his tongue across his front teeth. "If I go into our chambers, I won't find anything different than it was this morning?"
Her eyes widened. "Don't-"
"See? I know you too well." He leaned down and kissed her again. "You can tell me now, or I can go see for myself."
"No, stay here," she said in an urgent manner. "Stay with me. I've missed you," she tried to cover.
He pretended to give into her, letting her pull him down by the grip she had on his doublet. He kissed her cheek then pulled away quickly. "I'll be back."
"No, wait."
Cregan was already gone, moving swiftly to the bedroom and tossing the door open. Laid across their bed was an abundance of furs. Every cloak they owned but the ones they currently wore. Every fur blanket made for them was thrown on the bed. It all seemed messily done, but he knew better.
Not long after, the sound of his wife's footsteps came to his ears and he turned to meet her. "You've been quite busy."
"I'm only preparing, Cregan!" She whined. Her arms wrapped around his torso, her stomach keeping her from being fully against him. "It'll be any day now."
"You beautifully stubborn girl," he said with a shaking head in mock frustration. "You promised you'd tell me when you needed something."
"This is hardly a change. It was easy, I assure you."
"Love, I can't sleep like that. I burn like a furnace in the night anyway. This won't do any better."
"But the babe-"
He took her by the biceps, tugging her away from him. "The babe will be fine. The North is cold, but Winterfell is warm and comforting. Now please. Let me remove some of this from our bed."
Her eyes darted through the doorway to the bed and back up and him a few times in contemplation. "Fine."
"You sit over there," he pointed at their sofa. "And I'll do this."
She waddled over to the sofa, sitting down with a slight distain.
Cregan began to throw cloaks and furs over his shoulders, inspecting each one in light amusement and annoyance. He threw looks to his wife occasionally when she would say, "Not that one." Or "Keep that one." He had managed to get most of them off the bed before he gave in. "You'll keep these three. Understand?"
She nodded. "And if I get cold?"
He sighed. "You have a warm husband. He won't let the chill touch you or the girl."
He took his leave, pausing with a smile when he caught her soft "girl?". But he left anyway, returning the furs where they belonged.
…
Cregan was indeed right again, for she laid in bed in a small puddle of sweat. The heat was great in their shared bed, and her husband was right to correct her previous thought.
"What are you thinking so hard about?" the great lord muttered, his voice riddled with sleep. His eyes were closed peacefully, but even with no sight, he knew when his wife was troubled.
"Just-" Cregan's hand rubbed at her bump gently, urging her to continue. "A girl?"
He let out huff, pulling himself from sleep. "I know it's a girl."
"It's not," she urged. "It's not. It's a boy."
He peeked his eyes open. "I don't care what it is. But I know it's a girl."
She let out a disappointed sound and pushed his arm away, beginning to push herself up to sit.
"No. You need to sleep."
"I have to change things now. I'm not ready for a girl," she explained with a hurried tone.
Before she could even move off the bed, Cregan had reached out and grabbed her, pulling her back to him and gently forcing her to lay back down. "There's nothing to change," he urged with his eyes locked on hers. "You've done everything right. The babe is loved and cared for, and the rest will fall into place. Yes?" When she didn't answer, he kissed her softly and tried again. "Yes?"
That was what she needed to hear. "Yes." She rubbed a hand over her shoulders in an attempt to soothe an ache. "Yes. You're right. He'll be fine."
"She'll be fine," he teased.
She sent an icy glare, making him close his mouth and lay back down.
"We'll just focus on today, alright? And today, you need sleep." When she had cuddled up to his side, he relaxed, knowing he had his entire world in his arms. "Just focus on today."
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Taglist: @twinkletwinklenotastar, @kidd3ath,@yujyujj, @misswynters, @cosmosnkaz, @sithapprentice, @kaniromi, @lovemesomevesey, @its-jackie-bb, @8812-342, @thorins-queen-of-erebor, @kingdomzeldaquest @nyxbranwenn, @callsignwidow, @a1lexh-blog, @alyssa-dayne, @ethereal-athalia, @ashovertheriver, @lost-in-fiction-like-ur-mom, @dozcan123, @wangjiangelangel, @kamitargaryen, @aegonswife, @lv7867, @helpmedecideaname, @cherryheairt, @classicsimpforaaronwarner,
#fanfiction#game of thrones x reader#cregan stark x you#game of thrones fanfiction#game of thrones imagine#game of thrones x y/n#cregan stark x y/n#cregan stark x reader#house of the dragon fanfiction#cregan stark imagine#cregan stark#cregan stark fanfic#cregan x reader#house of the dragon fanfic
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COMFORT ME, STAY WITH ME
pairing: aegon targaryen x targaryen!reader
word count: ~1.6k
warnings: spoilers for s2e2 of HoTD, mentions of murder and death of a child, surprisingly i thinks there isn't any cursing or smut, maybe next time ;) just good old sad aegon
a/n: this is my first time ever writing for HoTD or GoT for that matter. please be kind to me. i tried to use appropriate wording for the time period. i'm somewhat successful but i have work ahead of me to become a pro.
i felt so enraged when alicent walked out on her grieving son to go fuck around with cole. what the fuck is your problem? i always gave her the benefit of the doubt but this episode just proves what a terrible mother she is. i figured the only person fit to comfort my baby boy aegon is someone raised by rhaenyras gentle heart.
lowkey want to make a throuple out of reader, aegon, and helaena. readers gonna be a little psychologist lol. she'd hold their hands and force them to kumbaya haha but obviously they'd be like this cant work without you. maybe they'll follow aegon the conqueror and have her as a second wife but idk would anyone be interested in that? i'm rambling. enjoy!
Helaena’s Turn
STAY WITH US
The cold stone of the Red Keep kept you company as you strode through its halls. The breeze of the night offered you comfort and aided your mind to forget the terrible events that have plagued the Keep.
And yet, despite your energies being depleted, you can't seem to find rest. Loss weighs you down and spirals you into a depth of overbearing thoughts, making sleep a mere idea.
The Red Keep, the place you once called home, has become your prison. For weeks, you were not allowed out of your chambers, and for a short time afterward, a guard followed you wherever you went.
It has all changed, though. The death of the King's son has diverted all of the guard's forces to find the culprit. The priority is to search for the monster that gruesomely and cruelly decapitated a child while he slept rather than to watch over a harmless Princess who is simply not on their side.
As a result, you're now free to roam the castle, granted there are eyes all around. You wouldn't be able to step foot outside the castle if you tried, and any suspicious activity would immediately be reported to the Hand of the King.
For an unknown reason, your feet guide you to the King's chambers, where indiscernible, muffled sounds come from. You look around and find that the guard meant to protect the King is absent. It's worrisome. You stand in the middle of the stone hallway, your hands clasped, as you make a decision.
While your loyalty lies with the Blacks, you cannot stand and watch more of your family be killed, including the Usurper. Daemon has always been 'kind' in mentioning that your gentle heart will cause your death. You'd argue it's an honorable way to go.
You slip through the ajar door quietly, getting closer to the sound. There is destruction across the room. The Old Valyria model your grandfather worked on for most of his life is scattered on the floor, beyond salvation. Goblets and spilled wine, thrown in a fit of rage, decorate the walls.
It is only when a sharp gasp and a shuddering breath echo around the room that you recognize the sounds you heard outside. They are cries.
You release a breath of relief. No one is in danger, although it does not signify someone is not hurting. You peak further into the room and debate on your next course of action. If the mess inside the chambers and the lack of guards mean anything, it's that the King would like to be alone.
But you know Aegon. You grew up with him. He's not one to reach out for help until it's too late. You make a haste decision. Aegon will not grieve alone tonight.
You know what that's like. Your brother, Lucerys, was murdered not too long ago, and you had no choice but to mourn alone. The Hand of the King locked you in your chambers, afraid your temper would lead you to do something drastic. It's the most horrid thing you've ever endured.
How you wished for Rhaenyra, or anyone for that matter, to hold you while you cried. A maid would've sufficed, but no one was allowed entry into your chambers.
Aegon sits by the fireplace, his head hung low, as he cries for his dead son. It might not have looked like it, but Aegon deeply cared for the boy. He wished to be better than his father ever was, and he was succeeding.
Until two days ago.
You've witnessed firsthand the blanket of sorrow that has covered the Red Keep, spent many hours by Haelena's side, offering her your shoulder, and never realized the King would need the same.
Why is Aegon alone? He should not have to go through this by himself. You expected he would have surrounded himself with his men and countless bottles of wine or sought refuge in Helaena's arms since they shared the same grief.
A heartbreaking cry snaps you out of your thoughts—his whole body trembles from loss. Aegon gasps for air to aid his burning lungs, yet he can't control the tears that track down his cheeks and the raking breaths that course through his body and limit his breathing.
He does not know what to make of himself. His fingers shake as he fumbles with the ring on his finger—the one with the dragon crest. Aegon doesn't know what to make of himself. He's never endured this sort of loss.
His sobs are the ones of a man who lost a part of himself. Jaehaerys, his legacy, has gone too soon. Aegon spent time with the boy the morning before his death, doting on him like Viserys never did to him.
He's so lost in his grief that Aegon doesn't hear when you stumble upon a piece of cast from the model. Being careful with your steps, you reach Aegon's side and place a hand on his shoulder.
Alarmed, he turns to face the person who disturbs him, only to find you—you who have been keeping the Hightower siblings together despite belonging to the other side.
"Leave me be," he sniffs, staring back into the fire. He wonders if that's how his son's pyre looked earlier that day.
You kneel on the floor, settling between his legs to cup his cheeks in your palms. Wide, glossy lilac eyes stare back as they fill with more tears.
As his tears fall, you wipe them away. It's enough to make Aegon crumble in your arms, releasing louder cries and questions that will forever remain unanswered.
It's so easy to let go when you know someone is there to catch you.
Aegon fists your dress like a child would to its mother. You rub his back soothingly, holding him as tightly as you're able. You press a kiss to the side of his head, whispering calming words.
Aegon never wanted to be king, yet the moment he tries to fulfill his duty the moment he tries to be a proper king, he is rewarded by his son being brutally taken from him.
It's not a fair world. The Gods have never been kind to him, and he's afraid he'll only ever live a life of torment.
Now, more than ever, he doesn't want to be King. It is a mere reminder of how heavy the crown truly is. It's a shackle meant to keep him in place while others act upon his name while he pays for the consequences.
"Jaehaerys was a bright soul. I am sorry this has happened. You should've never had to experience this pain," you whisper in his ear. No parent should experience the death of their child. It is a sad reality the Targaryens have experienced all too well.
Aegon nods in agreement, and only when he's calm enough to speak does he tear himself away from your embrace. He instantly misses your warmth and the smell of roses in your hair.
"Why are you comforting me when you should be celebrating my demise?" His waterline is stained red, just like the tip of his nose, and he's never looked more innocent than in that moment.
You tilt your head sadly, that same emotion reflected in your eyes. "I do not celebrate the loss of innocents, especially one that has gone too soon. I also do not particularly like the notion of someone I hold dear grieving alone."
"You did," he sniffs. He remembers hearing your cries that night; the whole Red Keep could. You cried and screamed the entire night until you fell asleep from exhaustion and starvation.
Otto prohibited them from coming to you. Haelena tried, but he dismissed the idea with the false notion that you'd hurt her in your grief. Otto confuses you with your parentage. Unlike them, you're kind and gentle and wouldn't dare hurt anyone.
"Which is how I know I would never wish it upon my worst enemy." You brush your fingers through his blonde hair, tucking the messy strands behind his ears.
"Is that what I am to you? An enemy?" He asks, disgruntled.
"No," you answer immediately, your hands coming down to rest upon his chest. His breathing has calmed since you first saw him. "At least, not yet."
His lilac eyes bore into hers in search of the truth; shyly, you hold onto his gaze with nothing to hide except your intentions to help. Sighing, he closes his eyes and bumps his forehead against yours. Aegon will take what he can get. There's seemingly no one else to help him deal with his emotions.
"Stay," he pleads, holding onto the hand that's placed on his chest. This is the most at peace he's felt in a while. He wishes to savor it for a moment longer.
"For as long as you need, my King," you reply, closing your eyes.
"Aegon," he says. He refuses to be reminded of what lies outside his bed chambers. For just a moment, he wishes to simply be Aegon.
"Aegon," you respond, correcting yourself. He squeezes your hand appreciatively, tucking your head on his neck.
He keeps you in his arms until late hours in the night, recounting memories he shared with Jaehaerys. The pain is real and raw, and he won't be well for a long time, but for this night, Aegon will seek solace in your embrace, where he knows he won't be judged or be seen as a burden.
In your arms, he's not Aegon' the Magnanimous.' He's not seen as careless or reckless or the lesser child of Alicent Hightower.
He's Aegon.
helaena’s part has been posted! HELAENA’S TURN
Final part! STAY WITH US
that’s it! it’s sweet and short. i just wanted to have someone comfort aegon like he deserves. during that scene i wished i could jump into t he screen and hug him. it’s all so tragic.
i wish i could do the same with haelena. my girl needs to be coddled. fuck alicent. fuck otto. most importantly fuck criston cole.
if you enjoyed this one shot please don’t forget to like or comment and if you want more of it feel free to let me know! i don’t bite (unless you want me to)!
#fanfiction#aegon targaryen fanfic#aegon targaryen x reader#aegon x reader#aegon ii targaryen#hotd aegon#hotd#hotd season 2#hotd fanfic#hotd fanfiction#house of the dragon fanfiction#aegon targaryen fanfiction
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Madly
Best friends to lovers. Angst
Thirteen year olds were dicks, and not very creative.
She stood there with her father, trying to listen to his words of encouragement. Second place is good! he tried to reassure her. First is worst.
It worked on her when she was a kid, worked when she was just a child getting into the world of karting. But she wasn't a kid now. She was a teenager, and she was angry for her loss.
Max smiled at her like he didn't just cost her the win. Asshole. She scowled at him and he frowned. But then it made sense in Max's mind. Her dad must have been berating her like his dad would have if he hadn't won.
He just wanted to be her friend, as simple as that. He sucked in a breath and approached. "Good drive today," he said and held his hand out towards her. But she was glaring down at his hand until he pulled it away.
She had nothing to say to him, the way she was looking at him with her arms folded over her chest made that clear.
"You guys know why she lost, right?" Came a new voice, a familiar voice that got on her every last nerve. She turned and glared at the boy who said it. "Because she's got no balls."
Her eyebrows went up. What the fuck, she mimed to Max.
The kid who had said it had finished fifth, not even standing on the little podium they had during karting. Two drivers finished between her and him, and the comment had her utterly thrown.
"She's got bigger balls than you," Max threw out.
The boys laughed as they walked away.
"Assface," she spat, hatred in her voice as she walked back over to her father.
***
The road to Formula One hadn't been easy. She wasn't there yet, side lined as a reserve driver for Red Bull. Still, she was in a better position than most.
She sat on Max's side of the garage, wearing her usual Red Bull shirt as he spoke to GP. There she waited for him, wearing her AlphaTauri hat (yes, the old AlphaTauri team hat).
Max glanced around, saw her sitting there, and strode over. "Hey, Big Balls," he said and she stuck her tongue out at him. He pulled her AlphaTauri hat from her head and replaced it with his own.
"Hey, Assface," she replied and stuck her tongue out at him. "You feel like letting me drive today?"
"Not a chance."
Her fist met his shoulder, but Max hardly felt it. His hand came to rest on her knee. "Your time will come, Balls," he said gently. A smile stretched across his freckled lip.
She'd been there by his side since he started in F1, driving in the Toro Rosso. It had been difficult to support him around her F3 schedule, but she made it work. His second year of racing in F1 she spent in F2. And his third.
In his fourth F1 season, he put her name forward to become the reserve driver. And now they spent every waking moment together, it seemed.
It came as no surprise when she let herself into Max's apartment in the middle of his stream. "Balls!" He shouted as he turned around, pulling the headset off of his head. "You're here!"
"I brought gin!" She shouted and took a seat behind him.
There was a good couple of minutes where Max forgot that he was on stream, too absorbed in her. Nobody could quite follow their conversation, almost like they were speaking their own little language.
When she disappeared into the kitchen to pour the both of them drinks, Max returned to his stream. He spoke into mic, answering the joking questions that were thrown his way. That was exactly how it went whenever she was on stream with him.
Leaning against him, she placed his drink down. "Where're we driving?" She asked as she sipped her drink and observed the screen.
And, suddenly, Max was climbing out of his seat. He placed his headset over her ears and took her drink from her hand. "Go on," he said and gestured for her to sit down.
That was how the night went. She and Max drank together, taking it slow until he logged off. But then they were falling onto the couch, giggling as they tried to find something to watch. It wasn't easy, the buttons on the remote getting confused.
***
Her head pounded.
She looked around, holding the blanket against her naked, cold body. The apartment she recognised, but it wasn't hers.
Fuck, she was in Max's apartment. Fuck, she was naked in his bed. Fuck, he was naked in his bed beside her.
She quickly climbed out of the bed, scrambling to pick her clothes up from the floor. What had happened after they fell onto the couch?
Max rolled over as she grabbed her top from the floor. She froze, waiting for him to stay asleep. But that was too good to be true. He just had to wake up.
His blue eyes opened, eyelashes fluttering. He groaned as he looked at her. "Balls?" He grumbled as he sat up. It took him a good minute to work out that, he too, was naked. He held the blanket tight around him as he looked at her. "Did we..."
She quickly pulled her shirt over her head. "I'll see you at the track," she mumbled and grabbed a hold of her bag.
"The race isn't until next weekend."
"I'll see you then, Max." With that, she disappeared out of the apartment.
Here's the thing, Max loved this girl. He knew it, knew just how madly he loved her. She made him laugh, made the freckle on his lip hurt as he laughed. But he loved every second of it.
He didn't remember the night before. But he woke up in the middle of the night, holding her naked body tight against him. He didn't notice then, was too tired to think it was anything weird, and quickly fell back asleep.
When she walked out of his Monaco apartment, he realised. He loved her madly, and he'd blown it. One night of too much gin and he'd blown it. He loved her madly, but there was no way she was going to love him back.
Here they were. Stuck. Spinning like a roll of tape.
#max verstappen#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen fluff#max verstappen angst#max verstappen x you#mv1#mv1 imagine#mv1 x reader#mv33#mv33 imagine#mv33 x reader#f1#formula one#f1 imagine#formula 1#f1 x reader#formula one imagine#formula one x reader#formula 1 x reader#formula 1 imagine
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[12:41 pm]
(cw: f!reader, a child, pregnancy complications, "Mommy" and "daddy")
"Mommy is tired?" dad!Jaehyun heard his little girl ask.
"A little bit, princess. The baby is getting bigger so Mommy just needs to lay down more, but she's not sleeping," Jaehyun explains in a sweet voice, pushing her unruly hair away from her face.
This was tough to explain to a 4 year old. Your first pregnancy had been a breeze compared to this one. Your first pregnancy almost five years ago came with some nausea that plagued you for the first few months, labor was long and arduous, but there was nothing that really hindered you from going about life as normal as possible. This pregnancy wasn't the same.
This time around you came down with gestational high blood pressure, which at your last appointment didn't look to be getting much better, so your doctor had put you on bed rest. You were doing your part by taking your medication daily and staying off your feet, but man was this a pain. You hated laying around and doing nothing, especially when your need to nest was nagging at you. You hated it, but you also knew that you wanted to avoid the induction being too early.
Jaehyun grabbed some food from the fridge and played it for you, lunch time. A healthy meal that he himself knew didn't sound super delicious, but he was being just as cautious as you were, if not more. "Let's take Mommy her lunch, princess," Jaehyun told his daughter.
She squealed excitedly, running to the bedroom with her Belle costume swishing around her legs. She pushed the door open and ran to the bed, climbing up onto the foot of the bed before settling beside you. Jaehyun smiled at the sight of his two girls. You were sat up against the headboard, folding laundry- which you had insisted on doing, Jaehyun didn't want you lifting a single finger, but you were stubborn.
"Lunch time, my love," Jaehyun smiled, walking over to you and handing you the plate. He tried not to laugh as your face scrunched up into a look of disappointment and smidge of disgust.
You stabbed the fork into the food and sighed before bringing the food to your mouth. If the bed rest worked, you'd be back on your feet in a week. Your doctor wanted to see if the bed rest would prove useful paired with the medication she'd put you on. You couldn't speak without the medical knowledge she'd possessed, but your blood pressure was going down and staying consistent. Your legs weren't as swollen and when Jaehyun took your blood pressure each morning it wasn't as high and remained consistent.
"I gave you your medication this morning right?" Jaehyun asked while holding up the pill bottle.
You hummed in agreement, swallowing your food, "as if you'd let me forget. I took it with a whole glass of water and ate it with my avocado toast. Hey, have you not been doing her hair? She looks like the brush hasn't touched her hair since I brushed it after her bath last night."
Jaehyun looked away, avoiding your gaze. Doing his daughter's hair wasn't a skill he had perfected yet. So yes, you were right, a brush hadn't touched her hair since last night. On the other hand, everything else had been taken care of. Your daughter didn't spend the whole day in her pajamas, she was dressed in real clothes, even if her Belle costume covered it up, she had brushed her teeth this morning, already eaten two meals today, and Jaehyun had her practice writing her name. On all levels, besides hair, he was killing it.
"Bring me the brush and some rubber bands please," you asked him sweetly, using your hand to tame the hair on the little girl's head.
He raised a brow, "finish your lunch and then I'll get you what you asked for."
You rolled your eyes, stabbing the fork into the food more harshly with a look that asked 'happy?' Your daughter turned her eyes away from the show on the TV and rubbed your belly, placing a small kiss on the apex. "Sister is making you tired, Mommy?" she asked, laying her head on your stomach.
You sighed tiredly, "yeah, princess. We don't want sister to get here too early so the doctor says I have to rest."
"But I want sister here already," she tells you with a pout.
Jaehyun takes the now empty plate from you while you brush your fingers gently brush through some of the tangles in her hair. "If the baby comes early, she won't be healthy, princess. We want her to be healthy right?"
"Yes," she sighs out, "Mommy, can you do my hair? Daddy doesn't know how."
Jaehyun rolls his eyes as he hands you the things you asked for, watches as his daughter willingly lets you comb the tangles from her hair gently, and watches as your fingers work deftly to braid it away from her face. He loves it.
He presses a kiss to your stomach, not trying very hard to keep the words that slip from his lips low and quiet, "if you want to give us a surprise and come out as a boy, that's fine. I'll still love you. Save me."
When two similar slaps to his arm come at the same time he can't help but laugh, if he's surrounded by girls that act like you and are the perfect mix of your genetics, he'd die a happy man.
#kpop imagines#kpop au#kpop scenarios#kpop reactions#nct#nct imagines#nct fluff#nct timestamps#nct x reader#jaehyun imagines#jaehyun x reader#jaehyun fluff#jaehyun blurb#jaehyun timestamps#dad!nct#jaehyun drabbles
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Heart VI
Mapi León x Ingrid Engen x Child!Reader
Summary: You like Patri's birds
It was sitting in a charity shop.
The camera that is.
It's an old camera, kind of battered from a life well used but still seemingly in working order.
Honestly, it's kind of retro and Mapi really likes the look of it.
She'd only been passing by, off to the shops to get Ingrid some chocolate and stock up on milk. She wasn't quite sure why she stopped to stare but she does.
It's sitting in a box with a roll of old photo film and a camera strap to wear around your neck.
She goes into the charity shop and buys the camera, a steal of ten euros with the roll of film and the strap included.
So, Mapi comes back to the house with Ingrid's chocolate, a pint of milk and a new camera.
"Hey, sunshine," Mapi says, patting the spot on the sofa next to her," Come here."
You sit with her happily and Mapi shows you the camera. She demonstrates how it works and shows you how it prints off the photo immediately like your more modern Polaroid.
"It'll take us a while to find some more film," Mapi tells you," But, here, I've got an idea. You've got maybe four or five pictures left. I want you to really think about what you like and what you want because what you take a picture of, me and Mama will buy it for you. Sound good?"
You nod.
"Good girl."
When Ingrid heard of Mapi's plan, she expected you to start taking pictures of everything right away.
You carry your new camera everywhere with you, the worn strap hanging around your neck.
But you don't take any pictures whatsoever.
You look like you want to but, with an impressive amount of control of a kid, you stop yourself.
You're waiting for something, Ingrid thinks.
You're good at waiting.
You waited for years for your Santa Heart. You can wait to take a picture too.
That's much easier than living in a hospital bed.
Your surgical site has healed up now, leaving only the sliver of a scar that Ingrid still finds herself compulsively checking over at bath time, just to check that nothing's changed with it.
Your check ups have decreased to once every three months now and you're coming along leaps and bounds.
"Patri!" Mapi calls out from the kitchen," Have you got anything kid friendly in here?"
Ingrid sits on Patri's sofa as the rest of the team mill around for team bonding.
Mapi had gone snooping in the kitchen immediately to get snacks for herself and you.
"Yeah, should be in the top cupboard!" Patri yells back.
She's much more preoccupied with bringing her two birds out of their cage to show you.
You're enamoured by them, oohing and aahing ever since you first saw them in the cage earlier.
"You need to be very careful with them," Patri tells you," They're nervous."
"They're pretty," You say," Pretty birds."
"Would you like to hold them?"
"Yes, please!"
These birds are the prettiest birds in the world. They're very sweet as they sit on your arms, making soft little chirping noises and demonstrating tricks for you to see.
It's hard to separate you from the birds for the rest of the day, completely enamoured by them and Patri seems both delighted and surprised that you love them so much.
They're all you talk about on the way home from team bonding and all you talk about during your bath and bedtime routine.
Ingrid's taken control of that for tonight as Mapi changes into her pyjamas and feeds Bagheera some treats.
"Mami?"
She turns with a smile.
"Have you come to say goodnight, sunshine?"
You nod. "Mama is choosing our story. She said I've got to say goodnight now."
Mapi crosses the room quickly, pulling you into a hug and kissing your cheek. "I love you."
"Love you," You echo, suddenly looking extremely nervous.
Mapi frowns. "What's up? Huh? What's wrong?"
"I...er...I...Mami I used my new camera."
"There's nothing wrong with that. That's what it's there for."
"No, I..." You nibble at your bottom lip. "I think I did it wrong. I took pictures of something you can't get me."
Mapi's frown only deepens and she kneels down to your height, hand going to rest on your cheek. "Why don't you show me?"
"I don't want you to be mad."
"How about this? I'm going to close my eyes and you can give me a picture and run off back to Mama and go to bed. We can discuss it tomorrow."
"Okay, Mami. Eyes closed."
The little Polaroids are placed into Mapi's hands and she waits until your footsteps have gone silent to open them again.
"Oh, sunshine," Mapi says to herself.
All five pictures are of the same thing.
Patri's birds.
One of them in their cage.
One of them pressed up against the bars.
One of them on Patri's head.
One of them on your arm.
One of them of you and them cuddled up together.
Ingrid inspects them that evening.
"I don't know what to do!" Mapi exclaims in bed, head resting on Ingrid's chest," She really liked Patri's birds and I told her that whatever she photographed she could have! But she seemed so nervous like she didn't even want to ask!"
"Mapi," Ingrid says," She was nervous because she thinks we won't want to buy her birds. You told her just last week that cats don't like birds and we do have Bagheera."
"Bagheera's lazy," Mapi replies," She won't care about birds."
"Then what are you worried about?"
"I...I don't really know. Are you okay with us having birds?"
Ingrid smiles, cheeks going slightly red. "I was already looking for cages."
It's been weeks since you first met Patri's birds and you're just as obsessed with them are you first were when you met them.
Patri seems to love it, endlessly bragging and showing off new pictures to you that you suitably coo over and secretly wish you had a pair of your own.
But you don't push Mama and Mami on it.
Bagheera is a cat and cats don't like birds. It says so in your storybook so you wish for birds secretly and clip the pictures you took of Patri's onto the soft fairy lights that hang around your room.
You wish you had birds of your own but that'll be something that happens when you're an adult like how Mami and Mama are adults and have Bagheera.
Ingrid holds you up on her hip as she walks from the elevator to the front door, easily carrying you, the shopping and unlocking the door all at the same time.
"Tia Ale wants a baby," You tell Ingrid," She told me so."
"That's because you're just so cute," Ingrid replies, fluttering kisses all over your cheeks," Alexia's got baby fever."
"But I'm not a baby."
"You're my baby," Ingrid declares," Mine and Mami's baby."
You giggle, the kisses tickling you.
"Now," Ingrid says, setting you down," Mami has a surprise for you in your bedroom, okay? You have to be very quiet and very responsible. Can you do that for me?"
You nod. "I can."
Ingrid gives you one last kiss on the cheek. "I knew you would be. Why don't you head in to see Mami?"
Mapi is standing by your bedroom door, giving you her customary kiss and cuddle before opening your bedroom door.
By the foot of your bed is a big cage with a blanket over it.
You gasp.
"Mami-?"
Mapi nods.
"I told you I'd get what you photographed. Do you want to meet your new birds, sunshine?"
#woso x reader#mapi leon x reader#mapi leon#ingrid engen x reader#ingrid engen#woso community#woso imagine#woso fanfics#woso
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smart - October 6th - Jegulus - @stag-microfic - word count: 665 - trans!Regulus Inspired by a reddit post that I heard about on a podcast so I don't have the original source to link it lol
"It's going well, I think," Effie whispered to Monty, who nodded at his wife, grinning.
"I like him. I have to admit, he's not what I thought he would be, though," Monty murmured, looking across the room.
It was true. James was so larger-than life and attention-grabbing; so loud and, Effie had to admit, dramatic. But Regulus, James's boyfriend who he'd finally agreed to introduce them to, was quieter. It had struck them as strange that it had taken so long, since Regulus was Sirius's little brother, and Sirius had practically been their adoptive son for years. But they didn't know a lot about Regulus. Just that he had taken longer to cut ties with Sirius's problematic family, and that their son was absolutely crazy about him.
He also seemed nervous and a bit skittish, though when he did speak, he came off as extremely smart. Though both men looked at each other with stars in their eyes, it was certainly a different match than what James's parents had been expecting.
When they interacted together, it made all the sense in the world, though. At least in Effie's opinion. They were natural opposites in the best way, and Regulus seemed to bring out the best in James. He'd never seemed happier.
"I'm going to do the dishes," she announced, standing and exiting the room, waving all of the boys off as they got up to try to help.
But as she began to get to work, the short, curly-haired man who had been glued close to James's side all night entered the kitchen, balancing a stack of plates.
"Oh, let me get those, dear!" Effie jumped over to grab the stack from Regulus's hand, eager to help.
"Thanks, Mrs. Potter," Regulus smiled softly. "The meal was wonderful. Was that thyme I tasted?"
"Oh, thank you, dear. It was! Do you cook?" she asked as they began to fall into a rhythm of washing and drying together.
"A bit. I learned a lot of family recipes as a child, and it was one of the few things my parents insisted on teaching me that I actually enjoyed," Regulus shrugged, meticulously drying a plate.
"Interesting," Effie frowned, speaking over the running water. "Did they make Sirius learn, too?" Sirius had become a permanent fixture in their household long ago, but had never mentioned learning how to cook.
Regulus just snorted softly. "No, they only made the girls learn."
It took a moment for Regulus's admission to sink in, and the dish Effie was now washing in the sink slipped from her hands as she realized. "Oh!" she said softly, her brain catching up with the conversation.
Regulus's eyes grew wide as he, too, figured out what had happened. "James and Sirius never told...?" His face, which had previously had a small smile playing on his guarded features, grew nervous and almost cold.
But Effie wasn't having that. "Regulus," she said firmly, grabbing his arm with her wet hand and refusing to allow him to turn and walk away. "It doesn't matter to us," she stated, looking the terrified man in the eye, making sure he understood she'd never been more sincere.
The gray eyes that stared back at him grew wide and watery, and he blinked a few times before nodding and letting out a shaky breath. "I- okay," he mumbled. "Sorry, I- It's just, my parents were-"
"I understand," Effie murmured, movign her hand up to squeeze his shoulder.
Nodding again, Regulus visibly relaxed, turning back to the dish he had been drying.
"It won't matter to Monty, either," Effie clarified, squeezing his shoulder again and returning to the sink. "As long as you and James love each other and you support his Quidditch team, he'll approve."
Chuckling, Regulus smiled. But after a moment, he turned to Effie, frowning. "What Quidditch team? Because James likes the Chudley Cannons and I can't even pretend to like-"
"No, he likes Puddlemere," Effie laughed, pulling him into a hug.
#marauders#harry potter#marauders era#marauders fandom#fanfic#harry potter marauders#the marauders#marauders harry potter#marauders fanfic#the marauders era#marauder era#marauders fanfiction#marauders fic#james potter x regulus black#james and regulus#poor james#james potter#james x regulus#regulus x james#regulus and james#regulus black#regulus arcturus black#james loves regulus#regulus deserved better#regulus black x james potter#jegulus#jegulus microfic#starchaser#sunseeker
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Blue Or Pink?
James Wilson x Female Reader
Summary: House makes some observations about Doctor Y/N L/N. He is absolutely certain that she is pregnant with Wilson's child, but something seems amiss.
TW: Pregnancy, mentions of weight gain/breast size/nausea and vomiting/miscarriage, medical diagnosis.
House stood outside the Pediatric unit, watching Doctor L/N-Wilson through the window as she spoke with the parents of a patient. She had been married to Wilson for almost two years and things had been stable.
Normal.
Predictable.
But House began to notice small changes in Doctor L/N-Wilson. At first they seemed insignificant, but then the little nothings turned into big somethings.
First it was the tiredness, she'd whine about being exhausted before resting her head on Wilson's shoulder in the cafeteria. It was nothing special, just an overworked Pediatrician who gave everything to her patients.
Secondly, House noticed a change in how she responded to smells. She refused to kiss Wilson after he drank his morning coffee, the smell making her stomach churn. It could have been an anomaly, but then he changed his cologne. Wilson liked his cologne and had used the same one for as long as House had known him. A new cologne could have been gifted to him, but Wilson wouldn't have used a different scent without some other motivation. It seemed obvious to House that L/N's smell-associated nausea had caused the switch.
Thirdly, it was how emotional she had become. L/N had always been an emotional lightweight with a heart of gold, but House could see a difference in her. She didn't seek out comfort from Wilson on a routine basis, only when she had lost someone or experienced an emotionally taxing case. Then he noticed her coming and going from his best friend's office with red, watery eyes at least once a week. Her heightened emotional state could be due to the loss of some boring little rugrat who drew her a picture of a butterfly once, but it seemed more intense than that.
Fourth thing he noticed was the vomiting, she was very discreet about sneaking away to upchuk in the hospital bathroom, but not discreet enough to escape his watchful eye. She was constantly chewing mint gum or sucking on breath mints while carrying a toothbrush in the pocket of her lab coat.
Fifth thing was an increase in cup size and a sudden progressive weight gain. It wasn't anything excessive, but it was enough to have her clothing fit more snugly before she gave up and bought new clothes.
Sixth was the appointment. Wilson and L/N snuck away to an "early lunch" after talking to Cuddy. They were both Department heads and didn't need to speak to the Dean of Medicine before stepping out for an hour.
The anomalies were piling up into a rather perfect list of symptoms.
Chase made his way over to House, frowning as he stared through the glass, "What are you looking at?" Chase asked.
"Doctor L/N-Wilson," House stated.
His eyes followed her as she separated from the parents, walking over to the nursing station.
"Why?" Chase asked uncertainly.
"She has a parasite," House said, Chase's head snapped in his boss' direction.
"What? How do you know?" Chase questioned, turning to look at her again.
"I just know. It would take too long to explain," House said, turning and walking off.
...
Wilson and L/N sat on the couch in their apartment, her back was leaned against his side and her legs were stretched out across the couch cushions. Wilson's arm was wrapped around her as he flipped through the channels on the television. L/N stared down at her book, turning the page before closing her eyes and leaning her head on his shoulder.
"You alright?" He asked, looking down at her.
"Tired," She sighed.
"Do you want to go to bed?" Wilson questioned.
"No, I'll be okay. I like spending time with you," L/N said, eyes fluttering open.
Wilson smiled, pressing a kiss to her head as she returned to her book. He turned his head towards the television before someone knocked at the door.
L/N sat up, setting her book down on the cushion beside her.
"I'll get it," Wilson said, setting the remote down and making his way over to the door.
He opened the door, sighing when he saw House standing on his doorstep.
"Your wife has a parasite," House stated.
"Thank you so much for letting us know. We'll have her admitted for treatment in the morning," Wilson said sarcastically, "Goodnight, House," Wilson stated, moving to close the door.
House stuck his foot in the doorway, blocking the door from closing before pushing his way into their apartment.
"House, what are you doing here?" L/N asked.
"You have a parasite, Doctor L/N-Wilson," He said.
"No, I don't. Go home, House," She said, standing up from the couch and moving to step past him.
"It has arms and legs. It looks adorable in a onesie. Chromosomes of XX or XY with eyes like mommy and glorious hair like daddy. Lucky bugger will even get two Christmases when you two separate," House said.
"We're not separating," Wilson snapped.
"That's besides the point," House said, returning his attention to L/N, "Oh, and I stumbled across this," House said, holding up a document displaying a positive pregnancy blood test result.
"How did you-" She started, snatching the paper from his hand, "Did you break into my office? And my desk?" L/N questioned incredulously.
"I should be saying mazel tov. Congratulations on the little rugrat," House said.
L/N smacked him in the arm, "You're an ass," She snapped, folding up the paper.
"I thought you'd be screaming it from the rooftops," House said.
"Forgive me for being cautious," She huffed, sitting back down on the couch.
"You're almost four months along. Way past the danger zone for early miscarriage," House stated, eyes flickering over her.
House looked up at Wilson, he shook his head, silently pleading with his friend not to continue.
"You've lost a pregnancy before," House said.
"House-" "Three," L/N replied, looking up at him.
"House, get out," Wilson said.
"He was going to find out at some point, James. I'm surprised he didn't steal my medical records already," L/N said.
"Another hospital, too much work," House shrugged.
"Can you grab a copy of the sonogram?" She asked, Wilson nodded, making his way down the hallway before returning with a photograph.
He held it out to House, he took the photo and stared down at it, "The fetus has your nose," House said, "Mind if I keep this?" He asked.
"Sure," L/N nodded, leaning back against the couch.
"Why do you- You know what? Nevermind," Wilson sighed, sitting down beside L/N and wrapping his arm around her shoulders.
"I'll see myself out. Congratulations on the kid," House said, making his way over to the door and out of their apartment.
...
House sat at his desk, staring down at the sonogram as his team discussed their most recent case. House tilted his head, thumb brushing over a darkened area on the scan.
"House?" Cameron questioned loudly.
He looked up to find Chase, Cameron and Foreman staring at him expectantly. House turned the sonogram photo and held it up for the team to see, "New case. Tell me what's wrong with this picture," He said.
Cameron huffed, "We need to solve our first case before moving on to something else. We should do a transesophageal echo to rule out a blood clot and to-" "Sure, but first, tell me what's wrong with this picture," House repeated.
Chase squinted, leaning in closer to view the sonogram, "Looks fine to me. Roughly four months along, I'd say," Chase shrugged, straightening back up.
"Wrong, thanks for playing. You two," House said, looking up at Foreman and Cameron.
Cameron shook her head before letting out a defeated sigh, she leaned in and scanned the sonogram silently.
"The fetus is undersized for gestational age. Can we go now?" Foreman asked.
"Nope. Try again," House said.
"There's a mass," Cameron said softly, taking the sonogram from House's hand.
"Yeah, it's called a baby," Chase muttered.
"No, there's a membrane around it," She said, stepping over to the x-ray view box and holding it up to the light.
House stood from his chair, staring at the sonogram over her shoulder. He took the photograph from her hand, "Do the echo," House said, grabbing his cane and heading towards the door.
"Where are you going?" Cameron asked.
"To locate a pregnant woman," House stated.
...
L/N made her way across the lobby towards the clinic, "Y/N," Wilson called. She turned to face him, "Did House page you?" Wilson asked.
"Yeah, did he page you too?" L/N questioned.
"This can't be anything good," Wilson muttered, hand resting on the small of her back as they entered the clinic.
They made their way over to the exam room House had paged them to.
L/N knocked before opening the door, she and her husband stepped into the exam room, "What do you need, House?" L/N asked.
"You. Hop up on the table," House instructed, pulling over the portable ultrasound machine.
"House, she already has an obstetrician," Wilson said.
"Well, your obstetrician is an idiot," House said, turning on the ultrasound machine.
"I'm going back to work," L/N sighed, stepping over to the door.
"I saw something in your sonogram," House stated.
L/N hesitated, "What was it?" She asked.
"I have an idea, but I need to get a look at the thing," House said, gesturing to the exam table.
L/N looked over at Wilson before reluctantly getting up on the table and laying back. Wilson moved over to her side as she pulled up her blouse.
House squeezed some gel onto her belly before moving the wand across her skin. The soft thump of their baby's heartbeat filled the room as House stared up at the screen.
"Your baby has a roommate... Sneaky little sucker that leaves its dishes in the sink and trashes the place so they lose the security deposit," House said, typing on the keyboard.
"What is it?" Wilson asked, holding onto her hand tightly.
House turned the screen towards them, "A cyst," He said.
"It's solid," Wilson said softly, stomach dropping as he saw the possibly cancerous mass growing in his wife's belly. The oncologist within him already formulating treatment plans and survival rates.
"Sometimes. This week it's solid, two weeks ago it was liquid," House said, holding up the previous sonogram.
"I have cancer?" L/N mumbled shakily, eyes glossing over with tears as she looked up at Wilson.
"Nope, think hairy with a nasty bite," House said.
"A dermoid cyst?" L/N questioned.
"Bingo," House said, "Your baby is small for gestational age, but your fundal height is bang on. Someone else is taking up space," House said.
"Your miscarriages hid the symptoms and the cyst is likely to create more problems as it continues to grow. I scheduled you for a laproscopic removal tomorrow evening and notified your idiotic OB," House continued, putting down the ultrasound wand.
He held up a tissue, allowing L/N to wipe the gel from her stomach. She pulled down her blouse and sat up on the exam table.
"I still want to test your blood for cancer markers, but the chances of a dermoid cyst being cancerous are slim to none," House said, standing from his stool and gathering supplies.
"Your hubby can do all the testing," House said.
He tied the tourniquet around her arm and drew a few vials of blood to test. Wilson stood close to her side, his hand resting against her back reassuringly as they processed the information.
"Did the cyst cause my miscarriages?" She asked softly.
House shrugged, "Probably... The ugly thing is taking up all the beachfront property and keeping it from possible long-term residents. Bad for business, especially if business involves pregnancy," House said.
L/N huffed a laugh, leaning into Wilson's chest as a tear rolled down her cheek. Wilson pressed a kiss to the top of her head, wrapping his arm around her waist securely.
"The baby is going to be okay," Wilson assured, L/N nodded.
"I'll leave you two to do whatever married people do," House said, grabbing the vials of blood and his cane.
"House, wait," L/N said, pulling away from Wilson. She hopped off the table and stepped over to House.
He stiffened as she hugged him before slowly wrapping his arms around her, "Thank you," She said softly.
"You're welcome," House replied.
#gregory house#gregory house x reader#james wilson x you#james wilson x reader#james wilson imagine#james wilson#house md imagine#house imagine#house md#james wilson x female reader
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Cute lil blurb idea we know alessia is one of the faces of adidas. Alessia getting gifted a pair of her own boots as well as a Lovie sized pair and Lovie wants to wear them all the time and wear her hair up like alessias because she says she’s dressed as mummy
MIRRORED — alessia russo x child!reader
grumpy universe
it was an average wednesday, alessia was carrying you into the arsenal training ground her hands filled with her bag and your bag. you still being half asleep after falling back asleep on the car journey there as alessia made her way through the long corridors and towards the changing room.
not before being stopped by a memeber of staff, "alessia there's a box that's got your new boots in" he smiled as he passed the blonde in the corridor. alessia calling out a thank you as she headed still towards the changing room.
"right lovie are you just going to sit and watch your ipad?" your mummy asked as you hummed pulling your blanket further up to your face. alessia pushing the door to the changing room with her foot as she headed inside, most of the girls being there already and starting to change into their training gear.
alessia placed you down on the bench near her locker as you got yourself comfy, your mummy quickly propping your ipad up and putting something on for you to watch knowing you'd be content until you came around and woke up properly.
alessia sat down and took a breathe, it being the first one she'd properly been able to take this morning after having to rush around after pressing snooze one too many times this morning.
"this yours, less?" alessia turned to where the voice was coming from, it was lotte pointing to a big brown box that was sat next to alessia.
the blonde nodding, "yeah it's new boots for the rest of the season."
"you not gonna open them? looks like they've sent enough for the next season too" lotte joked looking at the size of the box, it definitely not being the smallest box. alessia humming as she too was wondering why the box was so abnormally large. there was only supposed to be three pairs of boots in there.
"they said they were only sending three pairs-" alessia paused as she lifted the box onto her lap, ripping open the seal on the cardboard box, a loud noise echoing the room as she did so.
"oo they aren't they nice" alessia mumbled under her breath as she looked at the boots, a smile creeping on her face. it was always fun getting new kit, the excitement of unboxing them.
"what's in that one?" lotte pointed to the small adidas box which definitely didn't have boots in as it was too small. the blonde shrugged picking them up from inside the large brown box they'd been shipped in.
opening the box, there was a greeting card on top. 'toughness in tiny packages!'
a little quirk of the eyebrow as alessia looked towards lotte who just shrugged urging the blonde to just open the box.
moving the white tissue paper covering the item was a small pair of boots, just like the ones they'd sent alessia but in a size that would fit you.
"oh my god, she's gonna love these" alessia pouted taking in the small boots as she turned them around getting a full feel of the pair of green fusion with the three stripes being a purple colour.
they were almost identical to the ones alessia had just been given to use for the remainder of the season, they had even put your name on the side in small white letters.
a small pout on alessia face as her heart was melting at the cuteness of them, "there class them" lotte complimented as alessia showed her best friend where they'd even put your name on them.
alessia gushed over the small boots along with the other sets of clothes adidas had sent you to wear that matched your mummy. alessia decided to wait until you were in a better mood to show you them. knowing it would get a better reaction than the tired reaction she would get if she showed them to you now.
morning training had finished and the team was ready to go to lunch, you'd been waiting inside. playing with winnie for the morning, you even getting to take the club dog for a walk around the inside of the training ground.
"lovie, c'mere" your mummy called you over as you were laid out on the floor with win, as you watched your ipad. winnie guarding over you protectively.
you perking up at the sound of her voice, pushing yourself off the floor and toward your mum. leaving win to watch your ipad.
you walked over you to your mummy as had a big smile on her face, lifting you up when you got closer. "i've got something to show you"
your eyebrows knitted together, "what is it" you asked curiously. as you began to guess things as your mummy carried you to wherever this thing was that she had to show you.
"no lovie it unfortunately isn't a unicorn but i think it's just as good!" your mummy let out a chuckle at your strange suggestions as you got lost in thought — what was better than a unicorn?
alessia took you back into the locker room where she’d left the packages, placing you to sit on the bench as she grabbed the brown boxes from her locker before handing them to you.
you looked at the box that was now on your lap it easy being nearly the size of you, as you hesitantly looked up towards your mum. one thing you did know is that there definitely wasn’t a unicorn in there..
“open it lovie” your mummy encouraged as you opened the box, discarding the wrapping to one side as you rummaged around before finally lifting up the boot.
a gasp escaping you as you looked at the football boots, a big grin plastered across your face as you jumped up to hug your mummy’s leg. maybe matching boots were cooler than a unicorn.
“mummy there exactly like yours!” your called out holding the boot in the air as if it was a trophy a giggle coming from your mummy’s leg at your excitement.
“i can be like you now!” you continued, as you looked at the two boots as your mummy sat down next to you showing that they had your name on the side, you being in utter awe and for once lost for words, for a short amount of time.
“i wear them now!” you asked as alessia nodded knowing it would put a damper on your mood if she hadn’t let you. “you put my hair like yours too!” you asked pointing to the thick plait that was in your mummy’s pony tail — you wanting the exact same.
your mummy did as you asked plaiting your pony tail that your hair had been scraped back into this morning, alessia putting your little fly aways back in place as you put your boots on. trying your best to lace them but you hadn’t mastered that yet so you left it for your mummy to do.
“all done lovie!” your mummy patted your feet as she finished lacing your boot up, a grin not leaving your face. “gosh it’s like looking in the mirror-“
you were stood looking in the mirror that was built into the wall in the locker room, your mummy stood behind you and if anyone had of walked in it would ah e looked like alessia had duplicated a smaller version of herself.
“should we show the girls?” your mummy asked as you nodded rushing off back to the canteen where most of the girls would be, alessia following suit.
"woah, less is that you?" beth joked as she knelt down to your height as you came in the room just before your mummy, you dressed exactly like her.
"no bethy! it's me!" you squealed correcting beth as she let out a loud laugh. alessia coming through the double doors.
"silly me, i just couldn't tell you apart you look just like your mum!"
#alessia russo x y/n#alessia russo x reader#alessia russo#woso community#woso x reader#woso#woso imagine#woso blurbs#awfc#arsenal women#arsenal wfc#arsenal#lotte wubben moy#beth mead#england wnt#england women#engwnt#grumpy universe#enwoso
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hellaur been thinking of single-girl-dad wonu and reader who've been with him through up and down.. just had a dream of him taking care of a toddler i wanna ask him hand in marriage 😫
it could be spicy or floofy fluff, wanna see ur thoughts on this 💋
thank you for your request!! i hope i haven't made you wait too long T_T i was so soft while writing this, i really really really hope you like it <3 really wanted to post this on 17th july but i'm late (as always) happy belated birthday wonwoo!!! hope you're happy forever <3
this is part of my 550 followers celebration event! find the rest of the content of this event here!
genre: fluff, single dad au, friends to lovers, mutual pining
word count: 4k
warnings: fluff, fluff, fluff. mildly suggestive tones if you squint but nothing really. just- girl dad and simp wonu.
wonwoo knows he's probably never going to forget that day of his life. that day he woke up to the sound of the doorbell, and a child crying outside his apartment. that day when his ex-girlfriend dropped the child off at his doorstep after informing him that this is his daughter. that day when he learnt that the girlfriend he broke up with a year ago had actually borne and raised his child without even informing him. until this day, when she'd suddenly been thrust upon him along with the news that his ex was now getting married to someone from a different country and she could not possibly take the child with her.
and wonwoo had just stared at the little creature sitting in his lap, unable to say anything, unable to even form coherent thoughts. in the background, he could faintly hear his ex's voice blabber on as she wound up excuse-after-excuse of how she has to leave to marry some chaebol and how it's been a crazy year and how she's tried to reach him but never ended up doing it because her parents couldn't afford for her to go into the public with the baby and how she hasn't named the child yet because she was too afraid to get attached to the baby.
he sat there on his couch, staring at the little daughter who looked so much like him that even a random stranger would be able to understand she was his child, even as she left, promising that she'd never see him or the child again.
and wonwoo sat like that until you walked in through the door, drained after a nineteen-hour shift, still wearing your scrubs and your hands shaking with exhaustion, but still carrying a box of fried chicken and two bottles of soju.
"who's this?" your voice had broken him out of his trance and he'd looked up after staying frozen in that state for hours.
"my daughter."
wonwoo could see the way your eyes widened under your glasses and your breath speed up in that one second. "is she?"
"yes. rhea dropped her off."
"rhea? like rhea from college?"
"yeah."
you don't say anything else. you just drop the food on the dining table and pick up the child from wonwoo's arms. "she needs to change her diapers. can't you smell it?"
he had stared up at you, still not fully back in reality. "i don't have any."
"well, let's go out and buy some then."
_
and wonwoo hadn't questioned it. he still doesn't question it as you sit at his dining table, feeding his four year daughter soup because she's caught fever after playing in the rain. he didn't question it yesterday when you'd woken up in the middle of the night in feverish delusion and called for eomma. he doesn't question it when you know more about her than he does.
"hey" he says when he walks into the room, his hair still messy from sleeping in. both the girls in his life turn to look at him, identical smiles plastered on your faces, and wave at him. wonwoo doesn't know if it's possible for his heart to feel this full every day and survive even after nearly suffer a heart attack every time he wakes up to this sight, but he doesn't question it.
"there's bread and soup for brunch if you want some." he sits down next to you, your knees almost touching his, and reaches out to pat the cheeks of his daughter who's sitting on your lap. "she's eaten it all like a good girl. so you should do." you softly land his daughter in his lap, and stand up.
"daddy's girl is just perfect, aren't you, baby?" wonwoo hugs her close, worrying about how her tiny body is still warm, but at least there's food in her tummy now.
"she is. i'll leave now, wonwoo."
"sorry for calling you last night. i didn't know what to do when she called for you."
you smile but wonwoo can see how tired your eyes are.
"you did the right thing. call me again if you need me. i'll come around anyway tonight." wonwoo nods.
"bye-bye eunchae-ah! i'll see you later."
when you lean in to kiss eunchae on her cheeks, wonwoo's face right next to his daughter's, he almost feels your kiss on his cheek too. but it doesn't come. it never does. he smiles at his own foolishness, before he waves you goodbye, following his daughter's actions too.
_
he wishes you didn't have to leave every day. he has a bedroom dedicated for you. he has a toothbrush for you. he has an assigned chair on the dining table for you. his daughter calls you eomma in the depths of the night. his mind calls for you whenever he feels out of his depths. his body craves for you every time he sees you.
he wishes you didn't have to leave.
but you're back every time like you promise. you come right back, to take care of him and his daughter. like tonight, wonwoo knows as he sneaks a peek at the elepant clock on the wall.
eunchae's fever is slowly coming back, and wonwoo's given her the syrupy medicine but he knows what she's really craving is cuddles. he holds her close, reading out a storybook to her in a soft voice he reserves for his girls, but he knows he can't sit like this for long. his stream is scheduled at nine-thirty, and he has to be on time because the stakes are high tonight.
the clock strikes nine and wonwoo hears the door unlock. "y/n-ie is home!" eunchae immediately breaks out of her sleepy daze and squeals out, "y/n-ie! come fast! dad's reading the story about the pirates!" "is he?" you open the door and lean against the frame. wonwoo's heart skips a beat as he sees the way your heart shines with love as you look at eunchae, your hair falling all over your face after the long day at work. "but maybe y/n-ie can read it out for princess eunchae? dad will get dinner in the meantime." you step up closer to where the two of them are snuggled up in wonwoo's bed, "i'll read the rest out for you. and maybe i can show you pictures of the new puppy hansol rescued today?" eunchae's eyes light up, all exhaustion from the fever disappearing at the sound of her favourite uncle, hansol, and the puppies he rescues. wonwoo takes that as his cue to leave you with eunchae. when he tries to get up, his legs dangling over the edge of the bed, you lean forward to squeeze his shoulders. "is today the day of the match?" "hmm." "well, good luck then, champ."
wonwoo grins. "i don't need luck. you know that."
_
he doesn't know where the earlier confidence had come from, but it's certainly gone now. he's nearly died three times already and he cannot afford to make any more slips. he knows the money's coming in steady, but it's not half close to the mental target he'd placed for tonight's stream. he has to do better for the money to come up faster so he focuses his entire being on the final round of the match.
and he does not disappoint. he wins fair and square, albeit by the narrow margin. the money rapidly builds in the last few moments of the game, when he shoots down every minion of the opponent, and finally the opponent's main character itself.
when the stream finally ends, and he turns off the computer's video and audio, he can finally take a break. it's three am on the computer's clock, and his eyes burn. the adrenaline pumps through his veins but as soon as his headphones are off, he can feel reality reeling him again.
after a small snack stolen from the fridge and a shower in warm water, he finally makes way to his bedroom. he doesn't expect you to be awake, but he certainly doesn't expect seeing you sleeping soundly in his bed, your legs tangled in his comforter, and his daughter snuggled against your chest, spread across the entire bed as if it's not his bed. but then, what even is his? not his bedroom, not his daughter, and certainly not his heart.
he presses a light kiss on eunchae's forehead and pats your hair once, to which you let out a sleepy whimper. before he can let his mind wander at that sound, he escapes from the room and goes to the guest bedroom.
_
"are you winning games only to be banished from your own bedroom? you should've asked me to move!" you stomp your leg and whine when you see wonwoo sitting in the bed of the guest bedroom the next morning, lazily brushing his teeth. your pajamas are not yours- they're ones you've borrowed so often from him that it's nearly become yours. but they're still too loose at your legs, dangling below your feet. your eyes are red with sleep in spite of waking up at nine am, so thank god it's your off-day.
wonwoo pulls you by your arm and makes you flop down on the bed next to him. he removes the toothbrush from his mouth, the foam still in his mouth, but he mouths coffee. "god, you're so dirty. clean your mouth before talking. what is eunchae going to learn?" but wonwoo can see that your vexing is all made-up because it takes one tug on your arm to make you burst into a smile.
it's a special day- it's three years since wonwoo officially adopted eunchae and became her father on all legal papers. it's an emotional day every year, but a happy one. wonwoo does not regret adopting eunchae for even one second. it's been quite a hectic journey and he wouldn't be anywhere without your help but he wouldn't go back for a billion dollars. eunchae has completed his life in more ways than one. she's shown him unconditional trust and reciprocated his love without a second's hesitation. she's changed him from an anxious, private person to a person who is more open towards embracing challenges now and even more accepting towards all twists of fate. and most importantly, she's brought you to him.
she's given him his own family- one that he didn't even know he needed. but he's found a home away from home and it's the best part of his life. a family that doesn't judge him for being twenty-five and choosing to be a pro-gamer instead of a proper job as his own family had said. a family that lets him be clueless about life because they take care of him instead. a family that doesn't care about social appearances and going out, and chooses simple home barbecue with friends over getting drunk in clubs.
after he brushes his teeth, he walks out of the room to the living space, and finds you sitting with eunchae at the couch, who's sipping berry milkshake and colouring into her sketchbook. "look who's up, chaechae!" his daughter looks up and shouts out his name, and he scoots over and sits next to her on the couch, pulling her tiny legs into his own. you quickly shift your body away so that he doesn't crash into you, but wonwoo wishes you weren't so considerate. "i made coffee. and i'm going to make wraps with the leftovers from what you made yesterday. can you get her bathed after this? i'll get breakfast ready by then."
_
wonwoo hates it and loves it at the same time.
it being whenever the two of you drop eunchae at her school.
he hates it because he's always too sad to see his baby go off into school without even looking back at him once because she's just that excited to meet her friends. he hates it because all the parents assume that the two of you are a couple and keep asking you over to their houses for your kids to have playdates. he hates the other alternative too- when he clarifies that you're just friends, some of the mothers begin flirting with him too much and he's desperate for you to save him, but you totally encourage it. "you should start dating again, you know. it would do you good, now that eunchae's grown up." god no. it would do him no good- not when his heart is convinced that he's already dating a certain doctor who loves his daughter like her own.
and yet he loves it. he loves it because you stay beyond breakfast on these days, help him dress eunchae and also pamper her with a bubble bath. he loves it because you bathe in his shower on these days, and come out smelling like his shower gel. he loves it because you spend the entire day with him, talking to him about your patients and about your coworkers. he loves it because it's the only day he gets you completely to himself- he doesn't even schedule any events or streams on this day. it's his favourite day of the week, better than any weekend. he has a set plan for it, and it never fails. here's how it goes:
step 1 of the day- he drives around town and 'accidentally' stumbles upon a pretty-looking cafe that he suggests the two of you could try, and you, thankfully everytime, say yes.
"where do you wanna go today?" you ask him, and wonwoo's scared for a second that you've caught his act. no, surely not. "we could just drive around, you know."
step 1 success.
step 2 of the day- he offers to drop you home and let you rest, but you, thankfully everytime, never agree to his offer, saying that you want to enjoy a day out in the sun with him, because you're literally always stuck in the ER.
"i could drop you home. you could take a well-deserved break." "nah, i would much rather spend it with you. i'll just drown in my own head if i stay at home."
step 2 success.
step 3 of the d-
"we could go back to your place. we could binge the new series that's come out last friday. heard amazing reviews." you suggest casually, while scrolling something on your phone.
wonwoo actually almost crashes the car as he turns 90 degrees to look at you. this is unexpected. this is unprecedented. this has never happened before in the last three years of your whatever-ship.
"series?" when he speaks, his voice comes out weakly. "yeah, criminal and supernatural. just the genres we both love." fuck, you run a strong case.
wonwoo only hesitates for a second, before he makes a u-turn to go back home- because what's better than sitting across a table at a public cafe buying overpriced coffee? sitting together at the couch at home watching quality television.
_
wonwoo's too stressed about leaving eunchae behind with hansol and seungkwan. he's sure they'll mess up something or the other, but you're stern. "wonwoo, they'll be fine! she's four years old. grown up enough. and you know how much sollie and kwannie love her." "exactly- they love her too much. they'll never be able to say no to her." "and they won't have to. our eunchae is smart enough to not ask for unreasonable things. have faith in your parenting."
wonwoo wants to say: i have no faith in my parenting, but full faith in yours. but he doesn't. instead he quietly continues driving. it's your college reunion party- and it's the first time in years that you and wonwoo are attending. "i can't believe it's been five years since we got out of college." "well, eunchae's four."
you laugh, "you're right. wonwoo, i have no sense of time. it feels like only yesterday that we began talking in class." as you two walk into the hall decorated beautifully and filled with people, wonwoo's arm in yours. there are many known faces in the crowd ahead, but he can say, confidently and unbiasedly, that you're the most beautiful.
"don't remind me, please. it was so embarrassing to see seungcheol tell you that i had a crush on you." you laugh even harder, "but it was so funny! i didn't even know before that day, so i gotta thank seungcheol." "you look just as good as you did that day when i took your number." you look away for a second before looking up at him again. "is that so, mr jeon? you think i still look like a half-dead med student who's trying to survive with four hours of sleep and packed kimbap-" "no! don't misunderstand me," wonwoo fake-pouts at your fake-anger, and you both burst out laughing. "well, you don't have a crush on me anymore, so i'm certain the charm of the half-dead med student has worn off."
it's not, wonwoo's arm pulls you in tighter. god, he wishes he was not a coward. he wishes he could tell you that the charm has doubled, tripled, quadrupled every year, and he cannot imagine loving any woman as much as he loves you.
the evening definitely starts off better than wonwoo had expected. everyone seems to have forgotten how awkward and quiet wonwoo was back in college, and only remembered how good a gamer he was and how handsome he was back then. it's surprising how many people claim to be his fans here, and wonwoo feels his chest fill up. when he brings drinks for you both, he sees you speaking to rhea. "i see you've met y/n, rhea." "yes, well! i had no idea that she's so involved in taking care of our daughter."
our child? there's a spike of anger that rushes through his brain and wonwoo sees red. instinctively, your hand finds his own and squeezes his palm, a slight smile tugging at your lips, evidently asking him to back off. but wonwoo doesn't want to back off. even if rhea creates a scene right now, he doesn't care. he would much rather go home to his daughter rather than be here amidst people who don't even like him.
"i'm right glad you left eunchae with me when you did. y/n's raised her as her own daughter, and thank god we don't have to confuse her with another wannabe mother figure who didn't think before abandoning her."
rhea opens her mouth to say something, but you pull him away quickly, saying your goodbyes. you find the nearest exit, and pull wonwoo into the fresh air of the night.
"there was no need for snapping at her, wonwoo." you push him against a wall gently, rubbing your hand over his arms to ground him. "how dare she say eunchae's her child? she doesn't even know her name, for god's sake. she has no claim on her!" "she's literally her biological mother-" "so what? she dumped her on me, on you! you're a hundred times more her mother than rhea is!"
you stay stunned for a second, the wind blowing your hair away from your face. "what?"
"you've raised her, y/n. you're her mother, and i know eunchae will agree me 100% on-"
you take a step back. wonwoo takes a step forward, his heart panicking at the thought of losing you.
"wonwoo, i'm... i can't..."
"do you not realise it? why she calls you eomma?"
"but i- i don't mean to replace... i don't mean to take anyone's place..." another step back.
"whose place? there's literally no one else," another step ahead.
"your future wife... or girlfriend... or whoever will be her mother-" another step back and your back hits the wall.
wonwoo takes another step closer to you, towering over your figure. "there's going to be no one else. no one. no other mother figure in her life. or in mine."
you gulp, your breath still weak as you pant softly. "what are you saying wonwoo?"
"i'm saying i love you." fuck. that feels better to say out loud- a large boulder getting off his chest. he doesn't know what you're going to say, but it sure feels good to get it out. "i don't know how you feel. but i want to tell you how i feel, because i'm tired of being a coward. it's because i am coward that people like rhea have the audacity to say things like that. y/n, i've loved you for so many years now. my crush on you since that day seungcheol introduced us? never went away. not just because you're my best friend but also because you've taken care of me and given so much to me unconditionally through the years. without you- i wouldn't have been here, eunchae would've gone to another family through social services, and i would be a person living a hollow life with no love-"
"i would always be here, wonwoo. i'm your best friend-"
"but you've also become so much more. you've become my family, my saviour and guiding force, and my daughter's eomma. she wants nobody but you. i want nobody but you."
there's tears welling up in your eyes and wonwoo's heart aches. his hands automatically wrap around your face, wiping away the tears. "what's wrong, y/n-ie? i know this may have been a shock and you probably hate me for dumping this on-"
"i love you, jeon wonwoo!" your voice is weak, strangled.
"what?"
you twist your face to lightly peck at his hand that's cupping your cheeks. "i love you. i have loved you. i'm sorry i didn't know you felt the same way for so long..."
wonwoo's body melts and caves in. there was a wild tension which had been running in his body for so long but it dissipates totally now. he inches your face up towards him.
"shhhhh, baby. can i kiss you? i'm sick of loving you in secret. i want to show you how much i love you."
as soon as you nod, he leans in to claim your lips, your taste sweet like sugar and just as good as he had imagined it to be. your hands wrap around his shoulders, pulling him in closer towards you, your back completely flat against the wall. wonwoo grips your face and wraps around your waist at the same time.
it's honestly a miracle that you two haven't touched in the last three years where you've gotten so close. yes, the accidental brushing of hands, the affectionate hand patting hair, the playful punches and the mild tugging of arms. but nothing close to what wonwoo's wanted to do with you.
and now that you have started, he can't let go.
"baby?" his voice is raspy as he breaks the kiss, a string of spit linking your mouth to his, your chests heaving against each other. "yes?" "can you say it once more?" "hmm?" "you..." "i love you? yes i do." and wonwoo picks you up in his arms, not caring about how your legs flutter in the air as he spins around in joy. "what's this, jeon wonwoo! don't be a child!" "i'm just so happy." he finally puts you down, but doesn't let you get far.
"you know, it's such a wonderful conincidence that eunchae is safe with hansol and kwannie today. maybe we should take advantage?" the smirk on your lips give it all away, as you smack his chest. "and i thought you only loved me for your baby." "well, i intend to drive all mythical thoughts out of your pretty head tonight, baby."
#simpxxstan#request answered!#simpxxstan's 550 followers celebration event#seventeen fanfic#seventeen x reader#svt#seventeen fluff#svt x reader#seventeen x you#svt fluff#jeon wonwoo#wonwoo fluff#wonwoo dad au#wonwoo friends to lovers#wonwoo#svt wonwoo#wonwoo x you#wonwoo x reader#wonwoo imagines#wonwoo seventeen
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1224 words, 7239 characters, 54 sentences, 27 paragraphs, 4.9 pages. Tag list: @zero-s-tea @chemicalsandghosts @yandere-enthusiast @starsdotalk @small-mushroom-fae
Your secrets are ours, kid
Yandere BatFam x Reader — CH10 -> CH9 -> CH8 -> CH7 -> CH6 -> CH5 -> CH4 -> CH3 -> CH2 -> CH1
You had always had a vague understanding that your biological father was well-off, as he would consistently transfer a substantial amount of cash to that woman each month. However, while you were fortunate enough to not have grown up in the most deprived area of Gotham, it didn't necessarily mean that you had lived in the lap of luxury either.
Despite the knowledge that your father was wealthy, you had still scraped by in a small, cramped apartment, constantly relying on his financial support and night jobs to survive. You supposed that your situation could have been worse, but it didn't make the reality any more bearable. You often wondered what it would be like to live in a well-appointed home and never worry about money, but those thoughts were quickly thrusted aside and squashed down by the woman’s polished heel. Every time, the woman’s sharp words brought you back to reality.
You hadn’t deserved that life. She would remind you time and time again.
You grimace, the thought of your mother, or rather, that woman, entering your consciousness disgusting you. You weren't sure if she'd ever truly earn the title of 'mother.'
It wasn't until you reached the age of eleven that you become painfully aware that not every child had to desperately plead with their mother for food, and that it wasn't normal for parents to hold their kids needs over their own heads.
It had become abundantly clear to you from a young age that the woman was never truly interested in motherhood and had only kept you out of a slim chance that one of the men she had whored herself out to would be wealthy. She targeted men at lavish galas, her sole purpose for going being to hook up with them in exchange for large amounts of money. They usually sent nondisclosure agreements along with the cash, ensuring her continued wealth. However, your existence disrupted her carefree lifestyle. ‘It was perfect, until you came along.’ She’d say.
She had exploited Bruce Wayne for money. Getting him drunk with enough press around to stress about his ‘playboy image’ to bed her. Afterwards, she demanded a large sum of money, and he gave it to her without a second thought. He hadn’t even fully read over the details. Just signing up for a wire transfer to her account every month for the next few years. He hadn’t even been aware of you.
Too preoccupied with training the young Robin to even be aware of your birth.
Throughout your life, the woman had consistently manipulated the truth, spinning a tale in which it was your fault that your father had ‘left.’ And, despite your reservations, a small part of you still believed her words.
She had carefully cultivated your sense of guilt, instilling the belief that your very existence had driven your father away. Her venomous words and manipulative behavior had left deep emotional scars, convincing you that you were unworthy of a loving father's affection. Or rather, anyone’s affection.
That day, when you turned sixteen, was the day that woman unceremoniously ushered you out of her home. Clothes and any belongings that she didn't deem worthy enough to sell for a few hundred dollars were carelessly thrown out into the hallway. By the time you made it back from work, most of your belongings had already been looted by the other tenants and homeless kids who roamed the building.
With a mixture of desperation and hope, you had gathered the few remaining possessions that you could salvage, cramming them into your work bag. Your fingers had trembled slightly as you dug out your old, cracked phone. Desperation clawed at your chest as you dialed her number and slammed your fist against the door.
You hadn’t been surprised when your repeated calls went unanswered. Frustration and anger boiled within you, mingled with a pang of hurt and despair. Deep down, you knew it was futile to even attempt to break down the door, as that would only result in consequences that you were unwilling to face.
With a steely determination, you forced back the tears that threatened to overwhelm you, walking to the nearest bank with a firm resolve. You withdrew every penny you had painstakingly saved over the past two years and closed the account, ensuring she could no longer access any of your hard-earned money.
Armed with the few thousand dollars you had managed to retrieve, you began a desperate search for someone, anyone, who would be willing to offer you a roof over your head. Despair gripped your heart as you realized how limited your options truly were.
At that point, the members of the Batfamily had been cognisant of your existence for about a year. Bruce having taken a DNA test for Alfred’s medical examination. Yet, despite their general awareness of your presence, it seemed they had made no direct attempt to reach out or provide assistance. On the surface, your life appeared stable. You resided with a supportive parent, attended school, and held down a job. From all outward appearances, there didn't seem to be anything particularly noteworthy or concerning about your circumstances.
But they were detectives. One would expect them to possess keen eyes for details, especially when it came to the nuances and subtle signs that might indicate something amiss. Yet, they had missed the marks, failing to acknowledge the more subtle indications of your turmoil.
Jason discovered you the morning after you had been cruelly cast out from your home. You were found sleeping outside, your weary head nestled against your overstuffed work bag. Wearing an old, frayed sweater for a makeshift blanket.
Typically, he wouldn't have paused to take note of a sight akin to this. He was all too gruesomely acquainted with the sight of homeless, neglected children on the streets. But as his gaze fell upon you, there was an unsettling sense of familiarity that snagged his attention.
The question nagged him persistently, scratching at his consciousness like an untamed itch. Where had he come across you before?
Then, suddenly, recognition flashed across his mind. You were the same child Damian had fixated upon just over a year ago. The demon spawns little obsession.
He let out an exasperated sigh, running a hand through his hair in frustration. Why on earth were you on the streets? It was blatantly obvious that it wasn’t a safe environment for anyone, let alone you. The mere notion of the young Wayne finding out that his blood kin was unhoused would undoubtedly send the typically stoic demon into a frenzy.
He let out a resigned sigh, leaning down to gently nudge your huddled form. His sharp, calculating grey eyes roved over your slumbering figure, taking in every minute detail with a sense of keen observation.
You stirred at the touch, groggily lifting your head from your overstuffed bag. Your bleary eyes slowly peeled open, blinking owlishly in the early morning light. Confusion and exhaustion mingled in your expression as you caught sight of Jason crouched down in front of you.
That was the day your life began to intertwine with the tightly woven web of the Wayne family. From that very moment, you became ensnared within the complex and sometimes suffocating grip of the Wayne's protective and possessive nature.
No use of y/n, no use of any descriptive features for the reader, no gender mentioned.
Shorter than usual, but more of a dive into the reader’s backstory.
Comments, asks, and reblogs are very appreciated! Please let me know if you want to be added to the tag list.
#gn reader#x reader#yandere batfam#yandere batfamily#yandere batman#yandere bruce wayne#yandere damian wayne#yandere dc#yandere robin#yandere jason todd#yandere red hood#yandere dick grayson#yandere nightwing#yandere tim drake#yandere red robin#bruce wayne#damian wayne#jason todd#dick grayson#tim drake#platonic#yandere batfamily x reader#yandere batfam x reader#batfamily#batfam x male reader#batfam#batfamily x male reader#batfam x reader#batfamily x reader#male reader
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Talking about Incest in Public
(both the painful traumatic kind and the hot fictional kind)
As it turns out, lots of the people who read and write taboo fiction have survived some deeply fucked up shit. After talking about incest with other survivors on the Moon, Sun & Stars discord and answering questions, I decided to share more about my experiences and the things that helped me survive and the things that helped me heal, because there are a lot of us, and a lot of us feel very alone, and maybe there are other people who aren’t incest survivors but who might want to know more to better support the survivors in their life.
–
Incest is not just a sexual act between two family members -- it's a larger system of absence of boundaries within a family, and it's almost always part of multiple incestuous dynamics, even if only one might be the obvious or explicit dynamic.
If you’re an incest survivor, you’re almost certainly not the only one in your family.
-
“The true characteristics and dimensions of incestuous abuse have been masked by the taboo and silence that have surrounded its occurrence. Recent research demonstrates that incest occurs regularly in our society, perpetrated by individuals who, for the most part, would otherwise be regarded as fairly normal. The taboo on incestuous relations is a deterrent to some would-be perpetrators but not to others. The taboo contradicts the reality of incest prevalence, a fact which led Armstrong (1978) to comment that th taboo has been on the open discussion of incest and not on its perpetration.”
-Christine Courtois, “Healing the Incest Wound: Adult Survivors in Therapy”
–
To use my family as an example -
My (similarly aged) brother did sexual things to me as a kid, and I had a range of reactions to it including pleasure and enjoyment. And confusion. And fear. I do not think he is bad or even what he did was bad. I think we were both two kids who existed in a family with incestuous dynamics, and we were both shaped by those dynamics and trying our best to survive.
From a young age, I existed as a physical comfort object to my mom (when she was sad she'd get into my bed to hold me until she felt better while I dissociated), and I took on the idea that my role in the family was for my body to be used to make other people feel good. The sexual behavior by my brother felt like an extension of how my mom held me.
My mother was the victim of incest from her uncle, and her parents sided with her uncle over her when she spoke out about it (even after he was facing legal consequences for his behavior with kids outside of the family) (even after he fled the country). She didn't know how to emotionally regulate herself, and I don't think she had (or has) the capacity to understand a child's need for physical autonomy and boundaries because her own were never respected.
There were other incestuous behaviors and dynamics within my family which I'm continuously discovering and unpacking. I think my mom’s uncle abused my grandmother too but I’ll never know for sure. It’s deeply uncomfortable to look back on a happy family story or a childhood nickname and see something sinister underneath and wonder if you’re being paranoid or if it’s actually that bad.
–
Things that have helped:
Long term relational therapy (5+ years). EMDR. Adopting a cat. Adopting more cats. Antidepressants. Reading about incest (realistic, terrifying, academic). Reading about incest (fictional, hot, amateur). Being a competitive athlete. Getting a graduate degree. Going on long walks late at night. Telling my family I had Covid so I could skip a family vacation.
These books specifically: Healing the Incest Wound by Christine Courtois, The Myth of Normal, Dissociation Made Simple, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, The Narcissistic Family Unit, Clementine Morrigan’s writing x1000.
The protector parts: Eating disorder. Self harm. Drinking. Perfectionism. Depression. Suicidal ideation. I’m grateful to these imperfect protectors I’ve leaned on over the years.
Things that have not helped:
You will be shocked to hear that people on the internet yelling about how people who find fictional incest hot are disgusting and bad and dangerous did NOT in fact help me unlearn the belief that experiencing incest made me disgusting and bad and dangerous. Luckily, I’m built of spite. But it certainly did not help.
(If I think about my vulnerable pre-teen/teen self reading those things, I become deeply angry. How dare you hurt her in the name of protection.)
- I don’t cater to all these vipers Dressed in empath’s clothing God save the most judgmental creeps Who say they want what’s best for me Sanctimoniously performing soliloquies I’ll never see
-Taylor Swift, But Daddy I Love Him
-
After I discovered fanfiction in middle school, and then after I realized that there was a world beyond OFC/Draco Malfoy fic, I read a lot of Blackcest. I devoured any I could find, hopping through rec lists on LiveJournal.
Reading Blackcest fics, first Bellatrix/Sirius then Sirius/Regulus mostly, allowed me to see my experiences reflected. Those fics gave me a way to contextualize my family and my role in it. I hate the expectation that kids who experience bad things should go to a safe trusted adult rather than find art that romanticizes their experience. The whole point is that there isn’t a safe trusted adult. The whole point is that I needed the art. I got to hold the romanticized narrative until I got far enough away that I could put it away in a box until I had enough therapy that I could safely open the box and build a new, more honest story.
Obviously plenty of people love incest smut and fic and art. It’s taboo! It’s angsty! It’s a classic! Probably most of those people don’t have direct personal experience with incest in their families. I’m glad they read and write fics too.
But for me – have you ever experienced something you believe so strongly you will never be able to say aloud? That any time you see your secret referenced it’s in shock and disgust and revulsion? You can pretend – you’re very good at pretending – but you know it’s real, and you know it’s your secret you’ll hold onto for the rest of your life while the world reminds you how disgusting you are?
Then you find that people are writing about what you experienced in a thousand variations that all contain some nugget of your truth.
I cannot express in words how important it was that I found those stories at that time.
I never commented on a single fic. I never made a single account on any of the sites I read fanfiction on. I clicked the “yes I’m 18” box without hesitation every time. I wish I could go back in time and have my adult self articulate the enormity of my gratitude for each and every author who helped save me whose work exists on sites I can only revisit with the Wayback Machine.
I understand why people might feel horrified at the idea of a 11-12 year old reading smutty incest Harry Potter fanfic. People aren’t wrong for feeling that way.
That said, I truly don’t care what people who aren’t incest survivors think.
I’m so proud of that child for finding a way to survive. She might have hated herself, might have fantasized about death, but she survived and kept the truth of her experience wrapped up in a fictional world where it could be safe to explore and kept it there until years and years of therapy made it possible to engage with it in reality.
- I’m a real tough kid I can handle my shit They said, babe, you got to fake it till you make it And I did
-Taylor Swift, I Can Do It With a Broken Heart -
No one is writing about incest the way Clementine Morrigan is right now. I’m so grateful for her. I’m not sure this little tumblr post would exist without her essay series.
"Incest functions as a spell of unreality. A structure of nothingness. A completely normal and unremarkable family life in which something unnameable is ominously and terrifyingly wrong. You know in the summer when you can see the heat making the air go squiggly? Imagine those squiggles as an indication that in the seeming nothingness, there is something there. Incest is like that. Subtle, pervasive, unthinkable, unnameable. But present, felt.
As a teenager I came up with this metaphor: Imagine you are in a house full of bugs. There are bugs crawling all over all the walls and all the furniture and in your food and even on the fork you are lifting to your mouth. And you feel disgusted, you feel like something is really wrong. But your whole family is acting completely normal, laughing and eating and talking as bugs crawl over their faces and into their mouths. When you tell them you think there are bugs in your food your family says it’s just pepper and not to worry about it.
There is no way to talk about incest without feeling that you are lying. This is because incest lives in the realm of unreality and everything in the realm of unreality cannot be thought or said or named. When you speak of things that happen in the realm of unreality it will always feel like a lie and be treated like a lie. You are breaking the fundamental rule. You are not allowed to talk about what goes on in the realm of unreality because it isn’t real."
Read more and pay for her writing if you can on her substack.
-
Without a doubt, the not-explicitly-sexual incest from my mom fucked me up more than the explicitly sexual incest from my brother, but I only feel confident claiming the incest survivor label because sexual stuff was done to me by a family member, and I still feel like I’m lying sometimes because it wasn't bad enough to count.
I’m a literal mental health clinician who can map out various incestuous dynamics within my family and who has clear memories of a family member doing sexual stuff to my child body, and I still feel like I’m lying.
I believe you if you feel like a liar because I bet you do. I believe you if the incest never included anything directly physical. I believe you if you enjoyed it. I believe you if you don’t remember but feel like it’s true.
I love us.
If we’re monsters, I love our courageous monstrosity.
If we’re liars, I love the way we make up stories to survive when reality is impossible.
If we’re an uncomfortable truth, good.
-
It still impacts me. I’m not over it.
It’s very difficult for me to imagine love that does not include violation. To be loved and to be allowed to maintain a self.
But I’m open to learning otherwise, and that openness is new.
-
I was so, so good at living in unreality. I could make myself perfect, such a flawless object until I couldn’t think of anything except killing myself, but even then I still maintained the image of perfection my family expected.
It’s cool I never actually killed myself.
I find it hard to be around my family now. There are advantages of living in unreality. I drink a lot more when I’m around my family than I ever did before, but I don’t think about killing myself nearly as much. Reality is worth it. Being able to exist as a person is worth it.
- I took a deep breath and listened to the old brag of my heart. I am, I am, I am.
-Sylvia Plath
- I’m not afraid. I’m not afraid. I’m not afraid. (I insist.)
It didn’t kill me then. It’s not going to kill me now. (I remind myself.)
My life is worth living, and there are fights worth fighting, and it is undeniably true the world is full of horror, but it is good to write and create and be alive, and it is good to try. I’m a little afraid to post this, but the fear and shame isn’t mine to hold, and I never should have been the one holding it.
Consider this a thank you note sent out to the universe in the hopes the sentiment echoes towards those authors who saved me then and to all the writers who are saving people now. Your art matters. No matter how weird or niche or dismissed or hated it is. It matters.
Thank you.
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