#if she ever did i'd be genuinely shocked. but the show wasn't JUST him. or just about him. there were scoobies that existed before him

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

hi hi hello im back with my ‘raidon beef bs!! can i get kieran and mc having some sort of argumentative confrontation when mc first comes to blueberry that almost gets physical before the mc’s alpha koraidon very angrily gets kieran to back off? -🧃

"[Y/n]..."

Looking to Kieran, your eyebrows furrowed at the hateful gaze he was sending you, teeth gnashed together.

You could tell he wanted to desperately say something to you--for having the nerve to show up at his school after what you did to him back in his homeland.

He was shocked that you came to BB Academy at all, before he saw this as his chance to show you how much he's changed and how strong he became. He even permitted you to challenge the Elite Four directly, growing impatient as he was ready finally crush you in-battle.

You, on the other hand, were a bit irritated at this new "persona" of his.

As far as you're concerned, he didn't need to do all of this. He didn't need to be petty and cruel to innocent league club members who don't live up to his standards. He didn't need to dismiss his sister so rudely and act like she once did.

Of course, you feel bad about what happened in Kitakami. Maybe you could've told him about Ogerpon much sooner and let him have a few wins...but this was too much.

Now he was being a straight-up bully. And you utterly despise those types of people.

"You better not go losing to anyone until our battle." Kieran huffed.

"Pssh, like I'd ever lose.." You lightly scoffed, deciding to match his energy.

Although when you looked back at him, you could see a forced grin forming on his face, spreading from ear-to-ear.

It could easily rival a Gengar's.

"Good. I'm not a little kid anymore. And you'll know it when I show you how the best of the best battle." He vowed, turning on his heel and preparing to walk away.

"Kiki!" Carmine gasped in outrage. "You shouldn't talk to [y/n] like that."

You were about to tell her not to intervene, as you didn't wanna see the siblings' relationship fall into further disarray because of this, but what Kieran said next broke the straw on the Numel's back for you.

"Shut it, sis-"

"Look, you can be mad at me all you want. But don't you dare take it out on everybody else."

His scowl deepened as he stared dead straight at you. "What did you say?"

"You heard me. "You stepped closer to him in challenge, fed up with his attitude. "And you're right. You're not a little kid anymore....you're a spoiled little brat who's mad that he didn't get what he wanted. When are you really gonna grow up and stop this charade, huh?"

For a moment he looked genuinely shocked that you're talking to him this way, but then his eyes darkened. "Don't. This isn't some charade. You made me like this-"

"Oh don't give me that. I didn't tell you to act like a bully. You did that to yourself. I was only trying to enjoy a nice trip away from Paldea until you decided to put me up on a pedestal." The words kept spilling out, and you didn't care that he was fuming more and more by the second. "Then you accuse me of ruining your life??"

"Stop it.."

"I get it, you wanna be like me. You wanna do what I can. But at least I don't go around throwing tantrums every time I lose-"

"SHUT UP!! JUST SHUT UP!!" Kieran suddenly turned around, hands grabbing the front of your uniform as he yanked you in close. His eyes were full of rage. "I'm through with being like you...I'm gonna be BETTER THAN YOU IN EVERY WAY!!! AND MAYBE YOU'LL KNOW HOW I FELT!!"

Although his screams initially startled you, and began attracting a small crowd, you tried your best not to show any fear.

But even so, this new side to him was terrifying to witness.

Maybe you pushed his buttons a little too much.

"Get your hands off me, Kieran." You warned firmly, gently grasping his wrists. "This isn't the time or place."

"In case it wasn't obvious, the battle court's right behind us. So it's the perfect place." He snarled. "And since you're so damn confident, maybe we'll just skip the Elite Four and get to the part where I kick--!!"

Before he could finish, one of the pokeballs attached to your belt popped open on its own, and from it emerged...

Koraidon.

Not the one who was your traveling companion who loved sandwiches, but the other member of its species: the alpha, the paradise protection protocol's defender--and now a very pissed off lizard who was able to jump out of its pokeball without your assistance.

Carmine, Drayton, and the other students gasped as it assumed its Apex build and scowled down at the boy, growling.

Suddenly Kieran didn't feel so high and mighty anymore, as he let you go and took a step away. An uncomfortable feeling of smallness and helplessness overtook him upon staring up at the Winged King's hostile gaze, a hand reaching for his Dragonite's pokeball on reflex.

You were stunned this Koraidon came to your defense quicker than the other. It must've somehow sensed the bullying behavior radiating from your rival.

'I guess it takes one to know one..'

The standoff continued for a few more moments...

Before Kieran surrendered.

"Fine. You made your point. The time for our real battle will come." His gaze went to Koraidon, his expression now cold and devoid of emotion. "Don't think you can always jump out to defend [y/n] like this. You'll see who's stronger."

It only snarled in response, while you remained beside it and frowned. "Kieran-"

"Looking forward to seeing you climb the ranks." Was all he said to you before he finally left you alone, the tension in the air still heavy as ever.

"Giiaa.."

"Thanks, buddy." You sighed, smiling a little as you stroked Koraidon's feathers. It relaxed its haunches, putting all four feet back on the ground so you could pet its snout. "Seems you've turned over a new leaf after all."

"Grraah!"

"Yeah..I can only hope he does, too.."

[hyperfixatedcatlover]

The Beauty's Rebirth Chapter 1 - Casting Call

Alright here's chapter 1! Please don't hesitate on giving constructive criticism. Once again, I have no idea wth I am doing nor do I know where I am going with the story.

TW: Starvation, implied child abuse, implied claustrophobia, implied yandere behaviors.

MDNI

Prologue - Chapter 1 (You are here) - Chapter 2

"So tell us, how long was becoming a model your dream?"

You blink, and smile sheepishly, before answering,

"Well, it never was that much of a dream for me to be honest. It was just a job to get a roof over my head."

"Really?" The host asks looking shocked, "The most famous model in all the galaxy never even dreamed of it? How does that happen? Did you fall on hard times?"

You pause, having thought of a fake backstory before hand, one that hides the truth while revealing little tidbits. You aren't [Y/N] Ivy anymore, she died when your parents dropped her fake body in their living room for the servants to discover.

"You see, my parents one day told me that I'd be going to a stay with a relative on another planet. They gave me a duffel and shipped me off. It wasn't till I got there did I discover the letter in my bag, telling me that they never wanted me in the first place and I was officially disowned. So I was only 15, lost on another planet, no money or anything. I found my Mother Agency and walked in, as it had started raining. There, they gave me a position to model for them, saying they'd provide a roof to stay under, and the rest is history!"

If only that were the truth. That would be easier to bear. Then you wouldn't feel guilty for eating three meals a day. Then you wouldn't be afraid of dark enclosed spaces. Then you wouldn't feel like you can't be anything less than perfect. If only.

"Oh, what a truly heartbreaking tale. Do you know why your parents would do such a thing?"

I can tell the truth here somewhat more at least.

"My mom was jealous of me. I guess my beauty was always there, even when I was a mere child."

"And your father?"  

"He never saw me as a human, more of some ornament for him to show off."

"Some people just don't deserve to be parents." The host says as he makes a sympathetic face and puts his hand over his heart. 'At least he seems genuine for this.' You think to yourself.

The interview continues, going in a more positive direction, maybe you are not as good at hiding your emotions as you thought. Doesn't matter though, you don't like reliving the past. It hurts too much. It sometimes feels like you traded the stone cage from your parents for the gilded cage of fame. But what else can you do, you never received enough education to get into any academy, just enough to read and write well

"Good wives must have the skills to be their husband's secretary! How will you ever do something with your appalling grammar?"

"Mother, I just forgot a comma! I'm sorry!"

"Are you talking back to me girl? I should've known I was being too soft on you. Bring me my belt servant!"

As the maid disappears from the room, you begin to tear up, knowing what was coming.

You blink out of the memory, as the host begins his last question.

"Now, for anyone out there who want s to be a model, what do you have to say?"

"The standards for beauty are high, but don't let them stop you. Don't stop eating trying to get skinnier, don't spend thousands of credits trying to get clearer skin. True beauty comes within, it's a shame that not many people believe that in this industry."

The crowd applauds you as the host grabs your hand to help you stand up and take a bow, smiling for the camera one last time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In a shiny office with a model city's lights twinkling, a halovian watches the TV with a raised eyebrow. He calls his hounds to go dig up the grave of a friend he had never fully believed that she was long dead. He has an investigation to do, after all, no rotten branches can be in his family and the family's lost sheep must be guided home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On a ship somewhere in the galaxy, the only sound other than the video game sound effects coming from the girl beside him is the television. What it is about you that captivates the beast is unsure, maybe he wants to corrupt you, maybe he wants you to fix him, but something carnal inside of him craves you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In a lecture hall where the chalk board is teeming with mathematic equations, the doctor looks at the interview one of his students was watching in class. After confiscating the screen, he notices your face and gets the inescapable urge to sculpt it. It won't be anything like the real thing, but he desires it more than anything right now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In a gambling hall where the stakes are high and the tension is palpable, a gambler looks at the interview over the shoulder of his arm candy for the night. Seeing such a beautiful gem on screen makes him feel the desire to win her, no matter how high the stakes are.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In a living room with a few scattered swords his adopted son has yet to put up, the dozing general finds the interview on TV and decides to watch it. Her eyes stir something in him, a desire to hunt her and save her from the abundance, after all, she seems like the kind THEY'D try to steal from him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A trickster on a planet of ice and snow watches the broadcast with an honorable captain. Both seem enthralled in someway, but one is blushing brightly and another seems curious about how she'd look with tears in her eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In a dingy bar, a cyborg watches the static-filled screen show her beautiful face, still lovely despite the static. He gets that tingle in his metal bones that he got ever since he lost her, the one that said his wife was in danger. He doesn't know why he feels the need to protect you, but it won't leave him alone, and who is he to deny his emotions?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On a planet where a knight has stopped to refuel his ship, he falls to his knees seeing the interview on a screen. In his very soul, he knows that the woman showed is his lost Aeon of Beauty, and knows that he will stop at nothing to bring her to the Knights to be properly worshipped.

[hamliet]

"Pet": Pretty Woman, But Gay

So I read the Captive Prince series way back in like, 2016, and read the first few short stories and never read the fourth one because I wasn't a fan of the character it would focus on. And then through a weird set of circumstances I found myself reading this short story this past week, and it might be one of my favorite short stories ever.

I'm posting under a cut because the series is very adult, and the short story and series itself contain triggering content.

Ancel is definitely a favorite character of all time now, which is impressive especially since I hated him. But that's kind of what CS Pacat does well--she writes unlikable characters who are indeed truly flawed and not just soft babies inside, and then makes you like them by showing their development without completely changing who they are as characters. It was the main strength of the original Captive Prince trilogy, after all--Laurent's development still remains one of my favorite character arcs of all time.

So really, I don't know why I was shocked at what she did with Ancel. Especially because the whole reason I hated Ancel was the same incident that made me dislike Laurent: a scene in which Laurent uses Ancel to sexually assaults Damen. And I still do think that particular scene is the biggest flaw in the series, because it's kind of glossed over in a lot of ways. Admittedly, that's still the biggest flaw of "Pet" as a story, too: that the story frames Ancel's low moral point as what he does to Erasmus, which is portrayed as an escalation of what he does to Damen, when I'd argue it's the opposite.

Yet, seeing things from Ancel's perspective--how desperate he is to matter, how he genuinely has only ever been used and so doesn't understand why other slaves wouldn't even try to perform and enjoy the meager scraps of joy they get in life--changed my perspective on him. Not on the incident, but on him.

Ancel's a brilliantly written unreliable narrator, too. As confident and vain as he seems, he's all too aware that he doesn't matter in the court. As much as he hates Damen and Erasmus for the former's refusal and the latter's inability to play the role, it's really self-hatred projected onto them. We see bits and pieces of this seeping through in his conversations with Berenger, such as him telling Berenger in a moment of delight:

"I'd even sleep with you. I might even enjoy it for once." He stopped. "High praise," Berenger said dryly.

Ancel doesn't enjoy a lot of his life. But he'd never admit it, because he lacks control over pretty much every aspect of his life and so seeks to keep control over his thoughts by lying to himself. And yet, paradoxically, he's still one of the few people at court who is usually honest with others.

All of this is why Berenger is such a great love interest for Ancel. Berenger prizes honesty, but also freedom. He buys Ancel but refuses to sleep with him because he knows Ancel doesn't really want to, no matter what sweet nothings Ancel whispers in his ear. He respects Ancel's autonomy in ways no one else ever has, and he sees him as a person first and foremost.

Normally stoic "good guys" aren't super interesting as love interests for me. I like angsty tortured souls, Byronic bastards. But Berenger works perfectly in the story, and is no less interesting as a character than Ancel. To be fair, part of this is because everyone in Vere is insane and debauched and there needs to be one normal one there, and that's Berenger. Yet there's intrigue, too: why Berenger bid so highly to buy Ancel in the first place is never directly stated, but what he does say is that Ancel:

You took on every councilor in that room and won.

It wasn't the physical performance, but Ancel himself, his psychological performance. It serves as a metaphor for the overarching plot of the Captive Prince series, wherein the lowly and those who have everything against them end up taking on far more powerful individuals and systems and winning.

Which makes the last line of the story all the more fitting:

But if he wins?

Ancel may not be a pure-hearted individual, but all along he's showing Berenger that it is possible for those who have less to win, and to be loved and give love. He gives Berenger hope for the future, for the coming coup. And as we all know, Laurent does win, and I can only presume Ancel and Berenger live happily ever after.

My second complaint about the series is that the ending is too abrupt even if the ending line is perfect because that's my complaint about the trilogy too.

[hrodvitnon]

Just got out of my first viewing (spoilers so tag accordingly)

Yeah that was the most ridiculous shit ive ever seen and i had a blast lmfao.

--

To get the few negatives out of the way: Syclla and Tiamat got COOKED. That's crazy. Especially Tiamat. I had no idea she was in the movie and like choked on popcorn when they said her name. First onscreen appearance and she dies in like 3 seconds... sucks to be her. But honestly... this is probably one of those moments where Fan Content messes with the perception of a canon thing, at least for me. It hurts a lot more because of the emotional attachment from stuff like Ozymandias's story, Shamhat, and other adjacent stuff. If I had never seen those and watched her die I'd probably think "oh she had a cool design, but whatever". But yeah, my only serious complaint is her being shafted and I don't even really think I can call it objective because there was definitely an attachment there.

Ok besides that this might be my new personal favorite Monsterverse. Could be recency bias but I don't think so. Every human is at the very least entertaining. Everything Trapper did in this movie made me crack up, hearing Bernie say the words 'Discord chat' and 'Ghidorahstan64' (i stg this was a callout of some kind) onscreen gave me terminal whiplash, and although Jia and Andrew's story was sorta surface level, it was still endearing. I'd rather have a good human storyline, sure, but if we can't have that I'll settle for entertaining.

Here I thought Suko was gonna be an annoying marketing ploy to sell toys... I physically snorted in the theatre when Kong slammed him into that one ape. MVP of the film lmao. Mothra was... also there. Yeah, it really shows that she was a last minute addition. But DAMN she sent Godzilla ROLLING with a single attack. Speaking of, I don't think the Tia-Zilla form was as underutilized as I've heard people say it was. Especially that new Atomic Breath effect. Holy eargasm.

Oh man though, Shimo and Skar are fantastic. Skar hits the same beat as like a Celestial Dragon or Vladimir Harkonnen with way more grace than I would've expected from a big monkey. They go shockingly dark with his treatment of the ape-slaves and Shimo... especially with that female ape insinuation.

Holy shit poor Shimo, man. I honestly thought the Skar controlling her aspect would be kinda downplayed and just regular mind control, not genuine torture of some kind. I love that they let her have characterization by resisting him at every chance she gets, and that the pain control isn't always active (i'm assuming that's the insinuation of keeping her all chained and behind magma, it depowers and restrains her when Skar's not actively using her), further insinuating she gets merciful breaks from hellish enslavement only to be yanked back into it whenever Skar needs something turned into a popsicle. I think my favorite moment in the film is right after Suko shatters the crystal and the light blue luminescence fades to reveal her actual eyes for the first time. Eyes are used throughout the film to show subtle humanizing features, like Godzilla falling asleep in Rome, Kong's wide eyes when he sees his kin, and shock when Shimo realizes she's free. Having her eyes glowing the whole film makes her seem way more monstrous and inhuman, so when that suddenly goes away she starts getting framed as just an animal. Also her eyes are pretty. Also, I lied, that wasn't my favorite part of the film. My favorite part was Kong giving her chin scratches and that cute half-hug. This needs to be normalized. He needs to hug Godzilla next film. I will pay someone a king's ransom for this to happen. Final little detail, I like that Kong doesn't do his final roar from on her back but standing next to her, on the same level as all the other apes. He doesn't look to elevate himself over her or everyone else like Skar did, which is a great touch.

Also also also: Think it's time for a Doug solo film where he tries to steal all the Titans' food. Make it happen Legendary.

Much agreement here! I'd love for a solo Mothra MonsterVerse film to really capitalize on her lore and give her stuff to do (without dying at the end preferably); maybe establish some connection between the Chen family and Jia. Also, I need a little shot of Mothra going to visit Godzilla while he's sleeping in the Colosseum and just cuddle up to the big lug.

Andrews and Jia were a welcome breath of fresh air after GvK reversed Mark's characterization and Madison became... that. There was still some slight tension between Jia not feeling like she belongs and Andrews wanting to do right by her, even if it means possibly giving her up, only for Jia to go "you're my mom, you're my home, stop being dramatic". You love to see it.

Adding to the Doug solo film idea... Shimo adopts him because he's cute and she thinks his shenanigans are hilarious. Let us have fun wholesome times!

[tinysnailtales]

Thoughts from reading Yona of the Dawn Ch. 2

It's interesting how Hak views Soo-Won and Yona as an inevitability. He also sets himself aside for the two of them. And his phrasing: ""I've been watching them for a long time" – he positions himself as an outsider.

"I want them to be happy together."

But oh! does he look sad. He does not consider his own happiness or desires. He doesn't allow himself to. And part of that comes from duty and part of it comes from his genuine affection for Yona and Soo-Won.

And maybe...like Yona, he puts the happiness of the one he loves above himself.

Part of the conversation on selfish/selfless love: is it selfless to put the happiness of your loved ones above all? Or is it selfish because it puts your wants above all (if what you want most is for them to be happy) + because you do a disservice to them by hiding your own feelings?

But that "I want them to be happy together" over King Il's blood dripping from Soo-Won's sword– oh, it is so good.

Soo-Won literally slicing through his bonds to Hak and Yona (and King Il). Or at least trying. And while Yona is obviously not happy, though Soo-Won accomplished his goal, he's not happy either. (Sorry Hak, you don't get your wish).

We get Soo-Won vs. Yona, with the legacy of King Il between/hanging over them.

Also enter the phase of determined Soo-Won and wide-eyed, shocked Yona.

"What are you saying? Y...you're not...someone who'd do that..." "You have no idea." – Soo-Won calls out and emphasizes Yona's ignorance, shatters her world and point-of-view. All that mattered to her was Soo-Won and he says she didn't even know him. And after taking King Il's life, he leaves her with what must feel like nothing (she has Hak, but not here, and I don't think she realizes his importance to her yet).

"Why...? My father...cared about you so much, ever since you were little..." "That's true. And I loved King Il very much." Soo-Won not only shatters Yona's world, but complicates it. Shows her how things are not what they seem and not straight forward. Life and feelings are messy and tangled. Soo-Won loves King Il but still killed him. And love was what Yona thought she understood.

"People called him a coward and said he feared battle because he was kind. However...that wasn't the truth. Not a shred of it was true." – again, the parallels between King Il and Soo-Won: "You have no idea [who I really am]" + everyone's perception of King Il "wasn't the truth." Soo-Won believes what both he and King Il presented to others is not who they were/are underneath. That their kindness and smiles acted as masks. But that is just what he believes. I think he's lying to himself in saying that there's no truth in how they acted and were perceived by others.

"The throne is not what matters to me. I'll continue to fight on the front lines...to defend my brother and our people" – Soo-Won's version of history, like Yona's belief that her uncle died in an accident, seems biased and like it contains some false information. There's more to the story here. But Yu-Hon's assertion that defending the people matters more than the throne speaks to Yona and her future.

Yona cannot believe that someone she loves would do something like this. How can the Soo-Won who gave her the hairpin and the one who killed her father be the same person?

Again– Soo-Won shows her how things are not what they seem and not straight forward. Life and feelings are messy and tangled.

Her understanding of the world will have to be made anew.

"Why did you come here, Princess Yona?"

"I wanted to tell him...that I'd never be able to give up on you. I wanted...to tell my father..." – Soo-Won is shocked by Yona's dedication to him and her quiet strength and determination.

The contrast in their reasons for going to King Il hits hard. It's almost an act of violence vs. an act of protection, an act of revenge vs. an act of love.

The contrasting shades of Soo-Won–and he switches between them all so quickly. Who is he really on the inside?

"This is for the good of the kingdom" – words hanging over Yona. I know he means her death, but I think Yona + her life moving forward is really what is for the good of the kingdom.

"Did he hate me? For so long...ever since I was little...Soo-Won has been all that mattered to me. I never...asked for very much. Just seeing him smile would have made me happy." Aww, Yona. This goes back to my thoughts on Yona + selfless/selfish love and Soo-Won being the light of her existence. I don't know if Yona could imagine a larger existence, and Soo-Won was her guiding light. Now she doesn't have that and he told her she never did. And kind of like Hak, she was fine relegating herself as an observer–just someone who got to see Soo-Won's happiness, with him placed above her and her own desires. But did she allow herself to have any desires beyond Soo-Won? Could she conceive of any?

But after this reaffirmation of Soo-Won = Yona's world, we get Hak in an epic entrance. Yay Hak! Thank you for recognizing something fishy was happening (finally!).

"I'm so sorry to have left your side, princess."

Hak's entrance kind of reframes things– maybe she didn't realize it, but Yona's world has more to it than just Soo-Won (and her father). There's Hak too.

It also reframes Soo-Won vs. Yona to Soo-Won vs. Hak (and Soo-Won vs. Hak and Yona).

Poor Yona is so shattered and shaken, she even doubts Hak: "Hak...are you on my side?" She feels completely abandoned and alone. But Hak will show her otherwise.

"His majesty told me to protect you. No matter what happens...you have my devotion and my obedience" – but interestingly, Hak frames his devotion to Yona as devotion to the King. As something born out of duty rather than personal feelings.

At first, Hak can't even believe Soo-Won's actions. His view of Soo-Won is shattered just like Yona's was. "Did you want power so badly? No...it's not power that interests you" – Hak knows Soo-Won. Or at least he thinks he does. They have (or had) a deep bond. That's why Soo-Won killing King Il is so unfathomable.

Hak also displays his loyalty to King Il here. And his strength in battle.

"This country...has no need for a timid king" – what makes a good king? A question for the story to examine.

Where will Soo-Won go from here? He accomplished his goal of revenge, what next? What kind of king will he be?

Yona can only watch in despair as we get Soo-Won vs. Hak, two people she loves going up against each other. With her caught in the middle. And it is painful for her to see Hak injure Soo-Won. After everything, she doesn't want Soo-Won hurt. She is frozen and broken.

"Was the man I knew...just a facade?" "The man you knew...never existed" – another idea to be explored/a question posed for the story overall.

"I thought I could entrust her highness to you" – the biggest betrayal for Hak.

"The man you knew never existed. If anyone gets in my way...I will destroy them. No matter who it is." – Soo-Won re-centers himself on his goals and insists that Hak and Yona don't matter to him, that he's willing to sacrifice them. Keep lying to yourself, Soo-Won.

"I don't want to hear this. I don't want to hear anymore." – Yona shuts down completely. She cannot take anymore. It's too much.

There is a pain and brokenness in Soo-Won's expression, despite what he says. But this is the path he has chosen, and he is determined to stick to it. At least for the moment.

Just aww (and oh) what a moment! Hak!!

"Where will we go? I...during the party...my father was crying from joy. But I never got to thank him for anything" – Yona feels guilty for how she treated her father and regret and shame for not cherishing him more.

And I think she feels unworthy of Hak and Min-Su's protection and more so their willingness to die for her.

"We'll go anywhere we have to...to keep you alive. That's how we can honor his majesty's memory" – what a wonderful line of comfort (+ hug!) from Hak. It's like he knew the exact right thing to say.

And embracing her, I think he shows how his devotion from a place of duty is all for show– he deeply cares for Yona.

[minijenn]

Jen Tortures Herself With Every Dreamworks Animated Movie Ever: Trolls

So uhhhhh this movie. Kind of took me by surprise??? I went in expecting to hate this, thinking it would be annoyingly loud and bright and simple. What I got... wasn't quite what I thought it would be. Let's get into it.

The Trolls are a fun-loving, happy-go-lucky race of singing and dancing creatures, though they're constantly at ends with the miserable Bergens who want to eat them to get a taste of happiness. After escaping from the Bergens 20 years ago, the Trolls are thriving, until they're discovered by the ousted Bergen Chef, who captures a handful of Princess Poppy's friends, so she sets out with the perpetually grumpy Branch to rescue them. Along the way, they discover there may be a way to bring happiness to the Bergens and save their fellow Trolls alike.

So yeah, a very fantastical, fairy-taleish plot, one that took a few actually interesting, unexpected twists and turns. Don't get me wrong, this isn't a very complicated film, it wears its message of "Happiness is inside you" on its sleeve shamelessly. And yet... I don't know how, but it managed to... genuinely engage me?

Yeah, seriously. I actually kind of liked this? I don't know if it was because the emotions actually managed to hit or if I found the Bergens to be compelling antagonists/anti-heroes or if I started to really enjoy the dynamic between Poppy and Branch or what but like... fuck. Trolls is actually kind of ok? I feel like I'm going crazy just saying that. Like LOOK at that image up there and tell me that's the kind of movie anyone over the age of 6 would enjoy. And yet... I sort of did?

The movie, however, is certainly not without its faults. Its a jukebox musical and that's really not my cup of tea. The pop songs they picked for this are... tolerable, I guess, but hearing a lot of them kind of abruptly pulled me out of the plot so damn fast. Like I said, this is also a very simple movie, one with simple humor (save for a few insane adult jokes I couldn't believe they managed to sneak in there), and simple characters.

Poppy is... ok. She's kind of a bit too perpetually upbeat and cheery for me and yet she's not too over the top like I'd feared she'd be. By contrast, I really liked Branch! He's the straight man to literally all of the other Trolls around him and his dry sarcasm brought a lot of texture to what would have otherwise been a zany, goofy cast. The Bergens do much of the same, from the conflicted King Gristle, to the lovestruck scullery maid Bridget, to our villain, the insane, girlboss Chef, who just stole the show whenever she was on screen.

The visuals in this are also really nice? Like yes, its agressively bright and colorful but it works, I think? Like everything in this world feels like its made out of felt and fabric, very soft and fuzzy to the point that you can practically feel it. The designs for some of these creatures and backgrounds is actually really pretty in their own unique way? Of course, this is coming from someone who likes a lot of color anyway. If you like something a little more grounded visually, this probably isn't the movie for you.

So yeah, Trolls was... ok. Again, I'm fucking shocked, because I'd always been lead to believe this was Dreamworks in their peak cynical cashgrab era but... there's something to this movie that I didn't expect would be there. It's not fantastic by any means, but it has... some substance. And based on what I knew about this film going in, that's certainly more than I was expecting.

Overall Rating: 6/10

Verdict: SINGING KILLED YOUR GRANDMA

Previous Review (Kung Fu Panda 3)

Next Review (The Boss Baby)

[bookhighlightss]

Once upon a broken heart trilogy book review

★ Once upon a broken heart

1. Oh my lord he's just so fine. So hot. So sarcastic. If you couldn't tell already I love him. So much.

2. Okay um can I just say I hate one thing about Evangeline is that she has this "saviour I'm too nice" complex and tbh I don't fw that. SPOILERS AHEAD.

There's this scene where they are in a vampire's lair and she sees her ex lover or wtv and she wants to save him and jacks is all THIS IS A BAD IDEA DON'T FALL FOR IT and she obv like the main character she is goes like nooooo I will like girll fuck off he's a changeling nothing good will come out of this and quite obv he wants to bite her and jacks to save her gets his aarse bitten and shes like oh no I fucked up LIKE NO SHIT SHERLOCK YOU'RE SAVIOUR COMPLEX IS SHOWING but yea thas one thing that ticked me off.

SPOILERS ENDED.

3. Okay this book got me Outta my reading slump and it's like 300 pages so it's short and I finished it in 4 hrs so like I'd recommend this if you're like in a mood for a quick read.

4. The plot twists are twisting and it's so good with like the most shocking pcs of information and the way Evangeline pieces things together and it's just like damn everything's clicking now.

5. Lastly the " little " in front of the fox gets to me but the age gap is gapping ( iykyk ). Altho I think the book should have been lengthier considering the amt of things going on so it could be more descriptive but ig it's good bcs it's going so fast?

★ The ballad of never after

1. If I was crazy over the first book , I am absolutely psychotic over this book.

2. Okay so the first book they didn't have that much chemistry but oh god the second book made up for it in so many ways.

3. This is prolly the first book in reading which has the perfect slowburn like damn

4. SPOILERS AHEAD. OKAY SO the scene where he decides that saving Eva was more important than changing the timeline to meeting his love and not getting it wrong this time ...fuckkk that played with my heart like he knew he could never get that back and he was ready to still sacrifice his needs for eva only for her to lose her memories holy shitttt

SPOILERS ENDED.

5. Okay so at the end of the first book and the whole second book I felt SO FREAKING BAD for apollo I was like noooo I can't handle this triangle but thennn Apollo was like hehe I'm gonna be a little bitch so then I am so ready for when he gets killed if he gets killed bcs I need that man's head on the dagger desperately. He pulled the most heartless shit ever when eva went thru hell and back for him.

★ The curse of true love

1. Can I just say this book did not give what it was supposed to??? Like the chemistry just got lesser???

2. Okay the dagger scene was so hot tho. And the inn scene bcs damn.

3. Okay the way Evangeline remembered wasn't like SCENEMATIC enough ykwim??? Like I was expecting so much more and that was so less???

4. Okay one I'm more interested in lala's story??? Bcs genuinely what's going on there??

5. I HATE APOLLO. If I thought I was hating him in book 2 then it was loathe in book 3 for me. He just became so sick and twisted like it made me pukish. Kinda disappointed in the book but the last few chapters made up for it ig so yea

Overall I think the book needs HEAVY editing for it to give what it's supposed to?? Like ig the book is too short for such an intense plot I feel like Stephanie could've taken so much more out of this book than she did. And a part of me was waiting for eva to eventually become badass but she always stays the naive damsel in distress girl which kinda got to me bcs I'm all for super lit characters and a few things remain a mystery in this series. Like he's immortal she's not?? What are they gonna do?? She has magic in her blood and thas it?? They couldn't milk it further to make her super badass?? Overall plot is amazing but the story should have been written better

ALSO SUPER MEGA SIDE NOTE THAT CHANGES MY PERSPECTIVE OF THE BOOKS AND STEPHANIE GARBER

She's a Zionist. I just found that out when I was going thru Goodreads review and now I've got the ick bcs till now I was boycotting authors who are Zionist and to find out you just read a book by a zio just makes me sick to my stomach. I really this is a lie or sumn bcs I can't find any posts on twitter tt Tumblr and ig where it says shes a zio so idk I just saw a comment that said she's a zio and thas all so idk. Zionist authors immediately make me change perspective of the book. Was gonna read caraval but not anymore.

UPDATE did my research and found out she is promoting Sarah j mass who is a very proud Zionist among other things therefore it's an ick either way. Not reading caraval

Overall id give the series a 8.5/10

[dekaydk]

The thing I'm proudest of from my time a while back as a pretty newly minted technology manager was when one of my team included an equally newly minted junior sysadmin who after a pretty steady first year, started not always making it to work. Eventually the moment arrived where he was the guy who had knowledge no one else did, he wasn't in the office, he wasn't reachable, and public chaos briefly ensued. Fortunately one of his seniors found his notes on the topic and fixed the problem but it got noticed by lots of folks including my boss, who was pretty hot about it because the issue was somewhat embarrassing to the team.

I started asking questions of his peers and after promising confidentiality, it turned out that they were all concerned for him because they had figured out that he had developed some kind of addiction problem. They weren't sure of any details, but they were certain of the basic situation.

When the sysadmin arrived the next day I sat him down and calmly explained the fallout from his absence, said I'd noticed the absences but that I hadn't been going to make a big deal of it until this happened and pointed out that he was letting down his teammates. He said nothing about substance abuse but admitted he'd been not doing well emotionally, I gave him the mental health resources we had, and he started making it in on time.

But eventually he started showing up late again, his quality of work slipped more and more, and though I'd kept quiet, rumors made their way to my boss. Boss was smart (but not good with people) and told me to put the sysadmin on a performance plan, but the message was clear: figure out how to get rid of the druggie.

I thought about the sysadmin and what might motivate him and decided to go to his home and talk the next time he called in sick, so it would be more me as a human being than his boss. Unfortunately the guy lived way out in the countryside, so none of his peers had ever visited, or knew his address. Our HR person was a pretty by the book type so there was no point in asking there, and this was pre-Google. Luckily I was close to the CEO's assistant and she got me the address.

I borrowed someone's car, drove out there (got lost twice) and found a kinda shacky place; lots of junk in the yard, completely incongrous with this guy's clean-cut image. One of the housemates came out, vaguely hostile and looking pretty out of it, and I just asked for the sysadmin. She disappeared, he came out looking uncharacteristically messy, and when he realized it was me he was genuinely shocked. I started asking questions about how he was doing, he was evasive, and suspecting his housemate might be part of the problem, I said let's go sit in the car. In relative privacy, I told him I knew he was using and before long he was in tears. I told him he was needed, wanted and respected, and I would give him air cover and make it work if he committed to getting treatment.

Long story short, he took it seriously and got things turned around. I'm not taking credit; he had a decent support network once he moved out of the place where he'd been introduced to drugs, and he's the one who did all the hard work. He told me later that the shock of seeing me appear unexpectedly—and as a potential ally instead of someone he'd expected would judge him—was a factor in his change of perspective.

I never told my boss the full story of what I'd done because I knew he would have just told me that it wasn't my place and I had created risk for the company and so forth. For all I knew at the time, he was right, and I was just playing the hero. But it worked.

[lushsynths]

This week has been so emotionally taxing for me.

I'm waiting for confirmation of graduation from my university and they're taking their sweet fucking time. I'm supposed to know by tomorrow, but I've been done with summer classes almost two weeks now.

And I feel nervous that I won't be cleared to graduate, but I'm also nervous to find a real job. I'm comfortable at my job and the pay is decent and I'm scared that my new job will suck, or I'll hate it. I don't like interviews, and I HATE talking about myself so I'd have to really up the bullshit in order to come off as someone who they should hire. I'm as hard ass worker and good one but it's hard for me to brag about myself. Plus, change is scary, but I really do want to get a new job at the same time.

An old high school acquaintance came to my workplace, and I wasn't in a particularly good mood to reminisce about life. I planned on playing it cool and just ignoring him, so I didn't have to make small talk. (I sound like a douche when I write this out oh my god, but I promise I'm pretty nice irl, we haven't seen each other in 10 years) Well he went out of his way to say hi and was really happy to see me and I was like surprised because it's not like we were great friends back in high school. We had mutual friends, so we ran into each other throughout the years. But I can't recall a time where we just talked to each other without any other people there. We had a little chat and as I was running around doing stuff we smiled at each other here and there. Anyways, I felt really bad because I could tell he wanted to talk to me, but it was genuinely busy at the time, and I was in charge, so I didn't' have time to chat. Later when I was off work, I messaged him on Instagram and said it was nice to see him and if we run into each other again we should catch up. Well since you can donate plasma twice a week, he came back two days later and then I felt awkward because I really wanted to show him that I appreciated his attention and time. I really did want to say hi, but I worry that I came of as ingenuine.

The next day at work I was working with one of my coworkers who's autistic and an acquired taste to talk to. I personally don't mind him now that I've figured out how to talk to him and keep things chill. But he found out I had cancer at one point in my life and kept bringing it up in front of the donors and I realllyyy don't like having a conversation about myself in front of strangers like whenever my coworkers try to do that I lowkey change the subject bc like...it's my business. Ofc when I can chat with them alone, I'm an open book but like not an open book for random people. So anyways I knew he wouldn't drop it, so I answered his questions about cancer and what not. And that made me uncomfortable to a degree, but what really sent me into a spiral was his comment about my appearance. I have a LOT of self-image issues like a LOOOOT. I haven't gotten on any apps to date or tried to put myself out there because of them. I also don't have any pictures of myself aside from a few my family has taken. My biggest insecurity is my hair loss and I'm not sure if it was genetics or the chemotherapy because my hair didn't grow back the same way as it was before. I think it's a combination of both but anyways it's a huge insecurity of mine and one of MANY. Well, this coworker looked at me dead in the eyes while we were working and was like 'can I make a bald joke?' And I was shocked because OBVIOUSLY I know people can tell I've lost hair for my age (29) but no one has ever mentioned it because I'm sure they're just being nice. And to hear it acknowledged by someone really really hurt my self-esteem and there's not a lot of that within me. Like I already feel ugly and unwanted it really hurt to hear. Plus that day one of my other coworkers came to me because she thought I was in charge and was like "Hey handsome can I go to break later rather than sooner?" and I was like "well I'm not in charge today but I'm sure it would be fine with X" and she was like "well I take back calling you handsome" and it was obviously joking but goddamn that hurt my feelings too.

I actually think I need to see a therapist about my self image issues. I just feel so fucking ugly all the time. I've started to workout semi consistently, but I'm so depressed the past couple of days. I take care of my appearance and practice self-care to like to try and keep my self-esteem normal but it's so fragile it's sad. This is delusion talking but when I went to message my old classmate, I saw he came out as bisexual a while back and thinking about how happy he was to see me and talk to me made me feel good like maybe a man can find me attractive the way I am now, but I just can't bring myself to believe that. Not fully, and I fear that if I ever get into a serious relationship that I won't ever be able to believe my partner actually likes me genuinely so that's another reason I don't pursue dating. God.

[gleefullypolin]

Oh my fair non-canon ships, I love them. My forever and ever ship is and will always remain not canon but I'm with you, I never once argued or tried to push it against the canon ships. What other people think of my ships is not my business and I'd prefer them do me the favor of keeping it to themselves, hah.

The CS angst was a lot, wasn't it? How many times can one man die?

It's tragically abysmal how they discount her isn't it? She's out there making the best of it and yet, people always gotta get themselves in a mess. Which is funny how everyone blames her for it like 90%+ of them aren't doing it where people can see and the other 10% has been to protect them. Okay then. I am eternally grateful the things I was doing at 19 are not on some list of unforgivable crimes I get held to every time something in my life happens.

Eloise, my love. You are decently self centered and I think now it's slightly harder to ignore. I remember thinking that in RMB too tbh. She was very cagey about what she was doing while demanding Penelope tell her everything. She seemed a bit put out about Colin and Penelope having this whole relationship she was unaware of like her idea of Penelope shouldn't have to change.

I do think we had Colin being more protective of her for a good reason not just as a set up to where he hurts her at the end of the season. If he hears something beforehand or knows something she doesn't, I think he won't handle it well. Bringing in book elements would almost have to mean some version of his reaction. He was so angry but so worried for her. I think Hero Complex Colin is very capable of coming out in full force.

Oh for sure, I doubt too many people are going to remember any of rumors or other stuff after we get a full season of Polin. I've seen some of the worst takes I've ever seen today, ha, so I think it's possible someone somewhere is going to write an essay on how she should have ended up with LOWK but that seems like a personal problem. I totally get why people might be unhappy about either direction but I agree with you, after their first kiss I have doubts about any of this infighting being a thought worth anyone's time.

I would say 95% of my ships are canon, I dunno I just seem to for the most part end up liking canon storylines. But I would never deny something someone else might enjoy. But I just don’t see the point in going after each other for no reason. Or in the case of what I’ve been seeing today, having ships on the same show attacking each other. Like I just honestly don’t get the point. Shipping is supposed to be a lovely thing that you enjoy that gives you feels. It should make you happy. Not cause grief and anger to others. I like the pretty pictures and the giddiness of all the fan fiction that makes the heart skip a beat.

HAHA Hook did have a way of dying A LOT but God he looked good doing it!!!

I totally agree though about Eloise, she was running around with a lot of her own secrets being very cagey but she was very angry that Penelope didn’t share her darkest secret with her. And book Eloise even more so. So going into Season 3, very very curious if we get any scent of her keeping secrets from her family at this stage of the story seeing how they are tied together in the book but also knowing that we could very well either skip into Benedicts story from here or go into hers next season.

I do think we are going to see a very curious Eloise as she starts to sniff out something going on between Pen and Colin. I am just not sure if it will be that she will try and warn her brother away from Pen because or her knowledge of LW or if its genuine curiosity of what is going on between them because I don’t think she has any sort of clue that either one of them would have feelings for each other at this point.

I want the scene where Eloise finds out that Colin knows about him knowing to be her in shock that he isn’t angry about it. And him being more upset with her that she is still angry after knowing for this long. Because damn girl, talk about holding a grudge, its been a whole season! Lol

Today has been a day of people being angry and floating red flags and angry feelings and sadly, Colin is taking a lot of the brunt of the anger so I’ll be happy for the next 3 weeks to go by quickly so everyone can get the season moving and realize (hopefully so) that they got bent out of shape for nothing. And maybe so some of the other ships in the Bridgerton family can be a bit more welcoming to the next family member up because honestly, that’s the whole point of this show I thought! Next season will be a different person all together. Everyone gets their day in the sun. There is enough love to go around people! Be kind!

[roobylavender]

I remember watching dil lagi as a kid for the first time and I really did loved the drama- scratch that, I ENJOYED every second of it. Until humayun's character slapped her :/ OMFGGG WHYYYYYY LITERALLY JUST WHY

why the FUCK do the makers love slapping their heroines so much. You bitches love hitting women so bad I genuinely hope every single one of you die. This is the same problem I had with o rangreza. I actually gasped so hard when q*sim slapped sassi. Cuz that was genuinely so shocking to me it felt so out of character omgggg I could rant about this all day. And then the makers try to redeem him by burning his hand 💀 11 year old me was not having it. I hate pakistani dramas with a passion with the exception of dastaan (tho hassan can, like, go away)

the thing that irritates me about it is that the slap concept is built into a lot of dramas as an inherent arbitrary thing that simply happens in a marriage (to the point that one of the biggest dramas this year engaged in it.. before the marriage even..) but dil lagi actively tried to like. make some sort of warped commentary about it and how mohid had to slap anmol so she would shut up and not defame her own character but also it was bad bc by slapping her he was defaming her character anyway and he should've known better than to do that but also she shouldn't have jumped to conclusions and assumed he was defaming her character which subsequently necessitated her yelling about how he was purportedly defaming her character and led to the slap.. like it was so abominably dumb and unnecessary, even moreso because it was placed at the literal tail end of the drama to create the most useless conflict ever. the entire appeal of the drama and the romance was in the fact that mohid was as placid as a lake and willing to be battered by every ounce of anmol's hatred until she came to realize on her own terms how much he cared about her, and instead that moment completely ruined it and any romantic momentum the drama originally had going for it. in one sense ig it wasn't unsurprising for a faiza iftikhar script bc while she does have a tendency to promote progressive depictions of love every once in a while the traditional religio-cultural practices do jump out. but it was such a shame and really tamped down everything else i had loved about the drama prior

also omg the fact that you were only 11 when o rangreza was airing you were a baaaaaby 😭 i really loved the commentary on sassi's relationship with her father but the sassi and qasim relationship's execution overall was very odd to digest and that slap is definitely a part of it. in general it's sad how few dramas there are that condemn that kind of abuse, even if it only comes down to one instance of it, unequivocally. i think there are dramas that have condemned consistent abuse (kankar, khaas, both of which are ironically sanam baloch dramas) but i've yet to see a drama where even a single slap is rightfully viewed for the horrific thing it is. interestingly dil lagi tried to view it as horrific but there were so many qualifiers to the situation that the alleged condemnation of the slap didn't have much weight to it (and who knows, maybe it would've had more weight if this was a storyline they'd pursued in the middle of the show rather than the end of it. though obv more than anything i would've preferred the drama to have no slap at all bc it wasn't necessary to their relationship in any logical sense). i'd really like to see a drama where a girl puts her foot down for good even if it only happens once

[elpida]

"No. no it's.." she was wringing her fingers, switching hands. Truth be told she found it harder in these kind of tense situations, she never did find conflict easier but... it'd always felt a lot easier when she was holding his hand, her fingers secure in the strength of his larger hand around hers, that assuring squeeze he'd provide. It's why she was fidgeting, she couldn't hold his hand anymore because someone started shouting. Instead she was hoping fresh air would do the trick so she'd slipped out to the back of the building, a quiet and shaded corner, just enough away that she could ignore what was happening inside. "They're your friends too... you don't have to leave if you don't want to."

Eden made a small gesture back into the house but she was quick to resume the way she would fidget and pick at the skin around her nails. "It's more the conflict that makes me uneasy you know after.." all of it. She couldn't finish the sentence, instead she moved to take a seat on a hanging swing, two seated. Her leg was bouncing incessantly. "I think it was just a shock to see you but.. do you want to sit with me, for a little bit?" she still did find it hard to look at him, white suit and.. everything she'd ever wanted. God she should've told him how wanted he is in this world. If it was anyone else with her right now, she imagined she'd clam up, seize talking, be in that state of silent fear but... he'd helped her calm so many times before that talking to him and talking through that unease, was a hell of a lot more easier with him. "I wanted to text you." she revealed. "I wasn't sure if I could I umm.. I got invited to this thing in a couple months, a charity fundraising thing, you know, for the things I do to help reduce food waste and feed the community? Like the grab and go bags of things that are still good and would otherwise be wasted for, anyone in this town that needs it? I know it's the type of thing you.. businessmen do to umm... you explained it to me once, something with taxes and avoiding it, so I just... well I thought I'd let you know that I'd be going because I can't really not go, it'd make a big difference to a lot of people, I hope. There's an awards thing too and.. yeah. I suppose I thought it'd be the kind thing to tell you rather than it be a surprise." her smile pulled, just a hint of it there when she glanced to him. God, this hurt. Even the smell of his aftershave lingering so near, hurt. "I'm a bit nervous to go to something like that without you if I'm honest... you were always a bit of a safety net for me. You never let me make a fool of myself and I suppose... I suppose I'm a little worried that she will be there."

"He's always had a temper." Margaret grimaced, reaching across the table to place a hand over Agatha's. She could see that her son had tried. "There was a time where he'd just.. blow, like a fuse bursting. Always so hot headed, he was worst when he was in his late teens, the discovery of alcohol only made it worse.. eventually he got better but he was like a bull in a china shop once over. I did my best to help him with it, anger management, all of that.. I think him giving up alcohol helped but I can see he still gets hot headed when his temper is pushed." her look was a sympathetic one, what she did know was that he'd only react like that if he felt antagonised and to bring flowers so boldly like that, into another mans home? It must have upset him, and there'd clearly been a prior problem amongst the two. "He handles it a lot better now, it'll all be okay."

"I think Agatha deserves someone that'll protect her from college friend creeps like you James." he laughed, genuinely laughed. "I am possessive, but she knew that and you know what upsets you?" he smirked, head shaking. "You could show up with a million roses, they could all be made of solid gold, hell, fucking diamonds could shoot out of your ass every few seconds, but you know that deep down you could offer her every thing else in the world and she wouldn't pick you now, she wouldn't look at you twice, she didn't back then and she doesn't now and that is what fucking upsets you. You're not man enough for her James, you're a piss weasel trying to wiggle your lonesome little self in with flamboyant displays, pretending you give a single shit about Agatha's wellbeing, truth is you just care about what you can get out of her, how she'd be an asset to you and make you feel good about yourself, like you deserved something after years of being a friend. You know what a good friend would be? Happy for her, because she's happy, I make sure she'll always end up happy, hell I'd get that woman the moon on the fucking string if she asked me to. All you've given her is stress, you put a pregnant woman on the spot, you gave her pressure she didn't fucking need and wanted to sit there and continue it."

"You know what else I do as a violent man?" in one swift movement Cade her dragged him up to his feet, rather than being propped on his hands on the concrete. He made him stand so he could swing his hand back, clenched, and his him with a sickening loud crack across James' jaw, only to grip his shirt and shove him into the wall. He used his other hand to bring his face to look at him, his grip fierce. "I protect her and my daughter. Did you hear that part? My daughter, you think she's going to leave me and pretend to play happy families with you?" Cade scoffed. "You're not even half the man you believe yourself to be.." he didn't let his eyes gave away the next move, which was to grab a single one of James' fingers, the first on his right hand, and proceed to bend it back in one swift crack, enough to hear the crack. "..and now you're even less of a doctor."

"Now- ah, ah, ah. You look me in the fucking eye when I'm talking James." he used his grip to shake his attention back to himself. Cade had no idea of Patrick, he was so in his own rage he barely knew his surroundings. "I want to hear you say it, I'd like to hear the grovel in your words when you tell me that you'll never do anything to make her uncomfortable again, not her, not my daughter and how you understand that if you do... I'll make sure to crush the bones in every finger. I want to hear you understand that when she says jump, you ask how high and when she says leave, you get out of that door quicker than the goddamn wind."

Agatha could feel the tension in the air growing unbearable, making her increasingly uncomfortable and frustrated. On one hand, James refused to leave, clearly ignoring the subtle and not-so-subtle hints that his presence was unwelcome. On the other hand, she knew that the last seat at the table was reserved for Angelo, who had arrived amidst the escalating conflict. She turned to James, her expression softening slightly. "James, I do appreciate your visit and your gifts, but as I mentioned earlier, this was intended to be a family gathering. I hope you understand and respect that." Yet, despite that, it'd be too late. She set Angelo's gift down on the table, placing both of her hands on her belly.

Angelo, on the other hand, was watching Cade with brows pulled together. He instantly got the clear picture without asking questions. His intense gaze followed Eden as she left the room, the air between them heavy with unresolved emotions, noting her discomfort upon seeing him there. His decision to follow her was immediate and firm, even as he acknowledged Agatha. "I don't plan to stay, Agatha. I'm here to bring you this gift and leave," he said, his voice filled with determination. Agatha's curiosity was piqued, her eyes lifting to meet his, but she nodded understandingly. "Excuse me for a moment," Angelo added, not waiting for a response before he made his way outside.

Once he found himself alone with her, Angelo took a few steps forward but kept his distance, respecting her space despite his overwhelming desire to hold her in his arms. "Eden," he began, his voice heavy with emotion, his brows furrowed with concern. "If it makes you feel better, I won't be staying. I didn't mean to intrude or cause you more pain." It was painful for him as well to see her in a gathering without being beside her, without being able to offer his arm for her. "I know you don't want to see me, and I'll fulfil that wish. I want you to enjoy this time with your friends and their family. I know I don't have a place at that table." He turned towards the door, but stopped, a heavy sigh leaving his lips. "I'm sorry if I caused you any type of discomfort by showing up." His voice broke slightly, the pain and regret clear in his eyes.

Agatha's gaze fixed on Cade, and she began to take slow, deep breaths as she found the tension unbearable. When Cade snapped and grabbed James, her eyes widened in alarm. "Cade! No!" Her voice trembled with desperation. She didn't want any type of violence, nor did she want to witness or hear about Cade resorting to it. "Cade!" she called out again, her voice breaking as she placed both palms on her forehead, leaning forward against the table.

Catherine rushed to her daughter's side, setting her glass of wine on the table. "Baby, sweetheart. Breathe, alright? It's fine. He's just going to scare him off." Despite her reassuring words, Catherine's concern over what Cade might do was evident. Both women were strongly against violence, and the idea of it happening in their home was distressing. She threw Patrick a glance, and he was quick to respond. Without a word, he left the flat, closing the door behind him and wasting no time heading towards where Cade had supposedly dragged James.

Once outside, as James was thrown to the ground, he grunted as a response to his body collapsing against the ground. "Is this the way you plan to be a father, when you show clear signs of being a violent man?" He quizzed, body turning towards Cade as his palms pressed against the concrete. "You really think Agatha deserves to have a man like you? She deserves someone that will cherish her, someone that will love her and won't go threatening people over insecurities. You're a toxic, violent, possessive man, Cade. " His words spat out like venom.

[justanothergreb]

So I'm going to be a bit open and honest about fathers day and why I personally have really started to struggle with it in recent years. Mentions of abuse, abandonment, coercive control and just general heavy stuff. Also really long so grab a cuppa.

I know a lot of people don't really go for the sharing of your life on the internet but for me, a problem/experience shared lightens the burden and really helps me to process my thoughts (while possibly helping others). If my mum ever knew I had even talked about this she would be devastated. But I think its time I shared a bit of my story to help explain, well me.

I'd always know he wasn't my dad. It had just been me and mum til I was 6 and he just appeared on the scene. Mum would really kill me for saying this but I was introduced to a few people as a child, none of whom stuck around, largely cos of me really. It is true it takes a good man to take on someone else's child and the men of Nottingham just weren't feeling it in the early 90s. So imagine my shock this one wanted to. I remember distinctly two things - crying when she told me she was getting married ("but i don't want or need a dad" - remember I was 6) and at one point saying "I guess I should start calling you dad then" while playing in the old house.

It's weird growing up knowing that technically you aren't related to someone. There's like an unspoken rule at doctor's appointments you play along - didn't grandad have a heart attack? - you never mention the fact you look nothing alike (thankfully it is very clear I am of my very Scottish family). We played along blissfully ignorant, until one day, after a nasty argument at school, when someone told me "she says he's not your real dad". My response was "does everything think I don't know. Who the fuck is she to tell people?"

I went home and told my mum immediately. I knew what I was doing but I was 14 and wanted to know the truth. Mum was devastated, ashamed and angry at how I had found out. But the shock grew when I said I already knew the truth, did everyone think I was that stupid a child. Dad came home and tried to keep up the facade until she said "she knows the truth". I remember saying it changed nothing for either of them and it was actually a relief it was out in the open.

Mum eventually told me details on a walk to a retail park. My real dad had been abusive and I wasn't planned. Mum hoped that by keeping me, he would stop the abuse but he didn't. He showed no interest in having a child. She hoped, in a futile attempt to make him care, that by giving me his surname he would stay and care. It made no difference. I promised her that day I would never look him up - I genuinely had no interest to so it was an easy promise to make. It was however a bit of a burden knowing that somebody really didn't love you or care your existence.

Now, you might be thinking everything was great at home. Here was a man willing to step up and look after a child who wasn't his and love her. For the large part I had a happy childhood but it's only now on looking back you realise that actually the signs were always there.

There was the control of money; Mum wasn't allowed to work anymore and had to ask for money. She didn't get a part-time job until I was in secondary school to "make ends meet". Friends were controlled for both me and Mum - I wasn't allowed any friends over and they had to be heavily vetted when they did come over. Our cupboards had to be completely empty before we could buy any food and there was no choice in what we could have. The arguments, while infrequent, were explosive and often I was left with Dad after Mum walked out or taken to Nana's. Dad managed to help engineer a complete breakdown between my Mum and her family which lasted until my 18th birthday (although we all know my mum could fall out with her shadow).

As a teenager, I started to find my feet as well me. I got opinions and a voice, I discovered rock and goth, I met friends equally as unusual as me. I started dressing in baggies and band tight t-shirt something which went down badly at home, particularly with Dad. I remember a huge argument after coming home from a Saturday in town after demands I get changed because "your grandad doesn't need to see you dressed like that".

Every diary I've ever kept was read by Dad and on two occasions I was confronted with what was written (what can I say, child of the internet) and in fact one diary he took away and kept as blackmail for my behaviour. I've never got it back. I guess that's why I'm a bit blasé and share crap on the internet - I don't trust people to give me privacy as I've never really had it.

I was made to get a job at 16 ("no child of mine isn't working" - I was at sixth form) and again while on my gap year (which I planned to do anyway) and had to work during every uni holiday and pay board. Some would say that's normal behaviour until I actually spoke to my friends who were all largely stunned.

Two conversations stick with me from my Dad and I think both have massively affected my relationships. The first was a conversation walking to town, I was either going to uni or sixth form but the conversation sticks in my head. "You're probably going to end up with some posh lad called Tarquin who is a doctor who went to Oxford". (Some of you are probably sniggering or have gone pale). I remember being annoyed at this judgement. I was never going to be interested in some posho, never one who had gone to Oxford especially. I think subconsciously I had to prove him wrong and I now look back over all my relationships with middle class under achievers (a failed civil engineer, an emotionally manipulative failed civil service now masquerading as a solicitor who threw away his values - you get the drift) and think have I done this just to prove a point? Did my Dad's fear of having a superior son-in-law damage my own beliefs in who I should be with? Did my need to prove him wrong possibly cost me happiness? Or was he more troublingly correct?

The second conversation came after he and my Mum split and still rings as one of the most horrible things I have ever had said to me (the others from my Mum) - "I hope you don't walk all over this one like you did the last one". I was gutted.

My parents split when I was 21. Dad lied and lied about why he left, trying to pin the blame solely on Mum when in actual fact he left her for someone he met in Blackpool. Knowing he planned to leave her, he used a trip to visit me in Hamburg as a sort of 'goodbye'. Such a coward he left while I moved away and in a twisted way tried to say me moving so far away caused the divide between he and Mum. He doesn't know that it was me who found the photos of him and his new partner on social media and printed them out (my social stalking skills are elite. MI5 feel free to get in touch). It was me who unpicked the lies, had to listen to Mum's devastation.

The final straw and came in 2012. Having moved back home following uni, endured my graduation day being spoiled, I got an ultimatum. Accept her or don't bother anymore. His control broken, I cut off all contact and haven't spoken to him since. He tried calling me at work and received a cease and desist; Facebook messages have gone unanswered, his last being to casually tell me my grandmother died and could i send him photos of the two of them. Angry letters sent to my Mum, blaming her family for turning me against him and telling me I was cut out of wills.

It's interesting the only vaguely healthy relationship I've had is since I stopped speaking to him. It's more interesting 10 years later I've started to realise just what an effect he has had on me and my choices. Parents have a lot to answer for.

I'll end this sorry tale of rubbish let downs with the kicker. During the pandemic I received a message from someone who I didn't know but immediately recognised the surname. This person asked if I was the daughter of my Mum, using her maiden name. I knew instantly who he was and burst into tears. At 31 he had decided to get in touch. I haven't responded and frankly from his profile picture I wouldn't want to. Mum's taste in men it seems has always been questionable.

So are there any male figures in my life who weren't shit? I grew up around two of my uncles, neither of whom have set the best example with their lives. It's taken one well into his 50s to calm down, the other I despise. My granda was a scary man, more scary with family recollections of his abuse growing up. My abiding memory is of threats to my cousin of washing his mouth out with soap and his anger at his very Protestant daughter sending his granddaughter (me) to a Catholic school and refusing to put my school picture up as the uniform was green. My dad's dad never made me feel welcome and delighted in trying to make me feel stupid. My Nana did remarry a wonderful man who helped raise me and it is to him I like to think I got the best influence from. I miss him every day. My father-in-law is also a babe but his only influence on me is my growing love of birds and gardening (although certain I am the favourite of the three of us being the most easy to talk at - years of practice).

So there you have it - my essay on why I struggle with fathers day. A day reminding me of all the disappointments, the grief of losing two fathers (one by choice, the other by no choice), the questioning of just what would life be like now in so many circumstances and just general malaise at the many men in my life.

Thanks for reading if you made it this far.

[mrs-bartowski]

You know what makes me angriest about all this? The fact that these writers and showrunners undermined and/or destroyed every single good, important thing about this show...all in the name of baiting supercorp.

Honestly, if they had just written Kara and Lena like actual best friends and ignored the tension/chemistry with Katie and Mel, I would have been bitter and grumpy, but I would have understood and respected that it was their story to tell as they wished.

Instead, they intentionally did everything in their power to write what arguably could have been (if handled properly) one of the most groundbreaking love stories in TV history, and they did so entirely in subtext so they could cover their asses every step of the way and never have to deliver.

And the more I think about it, the more I'd be genuinely and truly shocked if this wasn't their intention all along. I mean, think about it. They made the decision for Alex to be a lesbian and cast Katie - a woman mostly known and loyally followed for her queer and queer-coded characters - to play alongside Kara immediately off the tail end of the Clexa backlash.

They swore they didn't want the Luthors to be a major part of Kara's story because they're understandably heavily associated with Superman, and they wanted her to be her own hero, then immediately turned around and wrote/filmed Lena into the rest of 2a the moment the supercorp buzz started picking up.

They had constant parallels to canon romantic pairings literally from the very first scene, what with Kara reacting to Lena the exact same way she did with James at the beginning of s1, and the Clois parallels with the helicopter save and press conference. And it only got worse as it went until every significant aspect of their storylines revolved entirely around each other. Like, imagine if we'd had the 3 seasons after Lena first got there, prior to season 5 when everything completely fell apart, dedicated to their personal and collective growth and a clear, honest differentiation between Kara/Lena and (initially) Alex/Maggie and (eventually) Alex/Kelly (and maybe less differentiation between Kara/Alex and Kara/Lena).

Imagine 2a being Kara's journey through learning how to trust people to work with and know her as a Supergirl without risking them taking advantage of her by learning how to trust mon el to behave despite hating him and be careful of Lena's potential betrayal despite being drawn to and inclined to trust her. Imagine it being Lena's journey through her past trauma with Lex and Andrea, Kara and the rest of the superfriends helping her becoming sure of herself and her own goodness despite the pain and loss she's experienced. Imagine Lena helping Kara cope with the understanding that her parents weren't who she thought and, in some ways, might even be considered monsters. Imagine Kara actually getting to grapple with the fact that she holds even more power now than they did on Krypton and what that could mean if she ever abused her power the same way. Imagine everyone actively helping Lena open up and learn to trust again and, instead of clinging to Lena's "dark side," having her (as, ya know, the canonically smartest person in the universe) realize Kara's secret on her own and slowly come to understand through their continued friendship that, despite the secret between them, just because someone lies to or betrays you doesn't mean they were never genuine and if you really care about each other, you can find a way to be honest and work through it.

Imagine 2b being the first time Kara has to deal with a villain knowing her real identity and aiming to use it against her when Rhea threatens Lena, which could have been the perfect setup for a long game of having her reveal her identity on her own terms. Imagine Lena getting to talk about the fact that Rhea was the first time she'd been betrayed since opening herself back up because she was so desperate for that motherly connection after what happened with Lillian in 2x12. Imagine Kara helping her cope through Lillian and Rhea's betrayals and Jack's death all at once while the guilt over her secret eats her alive, but she's so afraid that Lena will get hurt worse if she tells her. Imagine Lena telling Kara after it's all over that she's known her identity for months and she doesn't have to worry because sheand their friends have shown Lena that true friendship can withstand any mistake when you're willing to make it work, and now she can better differentiate between a misguided mistake and true betrayal. Imagine Kara realizing for the first time that hiding her identity didn't necessarily keep Lena any safer because she never would have worked with Rhea without talking to Kara first if she'd known, and maybe this honesty could have helped them avoid that danger in the first place.

Imagine s3 being about their disagreement over using Kryptonite to save Sam instead of Lena doing it behind her back and how they could have resolved such a weighted difference of opinion as best friends without letting it come between them. Imagine Lena, still desperate for that motherly connection despite Lillian and Rhea, seeking out a connection with her birth mom at the same time Kara finds Argo and the magic storylines actually tying together comprehensibly. Imagine Lena actually having the time and space to develop real chemistry with James while Kara goes through her 'I don't wanna be alone anymore' phase after realizing she and Mon El will never be together again when he goes back to the future. Imagine if saving Lena in her civilian clothes and almost dropping the chemicals had made Kara realize that there are some things that might even be made easier if she revealed herself as Supergirl, because lesser threats like Edge would never dare to threaten the Girl of Steel's best friend, plus she wouldn't have to worry about not getting somewhere in time if she didn't have to change clothes.

Imagine s4 dealing with Lena's "dark side" by having her be forced to forget Kara's secret like Alex and then, after much longer of the 'secret' being 'kept' between them, finding out from Lex as he's still dying (just of self-inflicted cancer) and saving him at the last second because of it (since now she can't trust that her loyalties weren't wrong to begin with if Kara never trusted her with her secret while Lex trusts her to save him despite the fact that he hates her). Imagine having the 'I can't imagine what you must think of me, Kara, I don't blame you' 'no, no. you are not weak. you are a brilliant, kind-hearted, beautiful soul' scene be the only necessary resolution because there was never any doubt Lena is a good person, she just has some Luthor loyalty in her blood and needs to be more careful about letting her mother and Lex use that loyalty and goodness to manipulate her. Imagine Kara deciding at the end of that season to reveal her identity to the world because going after Lex as Kara and Supergirl separately was too hard and almost losing Lena to her secret was almost too close a call, so she outs herself in 5x01 at the Pulitzer party. Imagine never having to see Lex again because karma strikes and his cancer just comes back and kills him.

Then imagine s5 showing us Kara's journey of learning to trust herself and her decisions and forgive herself for her mistakes because something bad happens to the Superfam after her reveal and she has to figure out how to forgive herself in order to save them. Imagine them introducing a viable love interest that treats her the way she deserves and does all the same things Lena does for her and more (since Lena, in theory, wouldn't have been doing nearly as much of the leg work with keeping Kara from losing herself as a regular old best friend) and imagine if that person helped her save her family by reminding her that dwelling on the past isn't productive and it's just as important to enable people to save themselves as it is to do the saving for them. Imagine if Lena, stuck in captivity, took the time to harness her magic and discovered then how powerful she really is because deep down she's been holding back since she found out for fear of making a mistake like her mom's. Imagine if Lena had been allowed to become the Paragon of Humanity after saving the Superfam and her later becoming a bona-fide hero who represents the magic of humanity. Imagine Kelly and Alex getting married then so s6 could focus on Esme and the entire Dansen storyline didn't feel cramped and rushed.

Imagine if s6 had been...literally anything other than whatever the hell they did to this show. I mean, seriously, they turned their main characters into plot devices for an entire season because they spent so much time baiting they forgot to write an actual long-term character arc for their leads and apparently a whole season wasn't enough to fix that, so they just stuck to the baiting and scraped everything else together haphazardly. Imagine if s6 had just been Lena and Kara and the rest of the characters coming into themselves in all their various parts and learning how to best empower and, more importantly, mobilize people individually and societally as superheroes in a fast-changing political climate.

This is what I mean when I say they should've changed the name of this show to Wasted Potential. There are countless media portrayals of women's friendships that make it perfectly clear that it's actually fairly easy and simple to write non-romantically-coded relationships between two women who still have strong chemistry. And we've also seen from this fandom that it really isn't that hard to come up with interesting storylines for a superhero that don't revolve entirely around her lying to her best friend.

Am I pissed we didn't get endgame? Of course I am. But the more I think about it, the more I'm just pissed that they ruined the show in the name of not giving us endgame. They could have at least made their asinine writing make some semblance of sense if supercorp wer endgame, but without endgame, it's all just...hollow. They neglected every single character on the show, turned Kara into an ignorant, brainless pawn that suddenly panics in the face of the slightest pressure and obliterated the entire basis for her being a hero.

You know what could have made sense? Her being so paralyzed by her love for Lena and the knowledge that she would have been (if they'd even utilized their own feckin storytelling) the only one who could fight Nxly (on top of Lex coming back and what that means for both of them) that that's why she was so desperate to make sure she was powered up despite it making absolutely no sense, because she can't bare the thought of losing Lena to a fight she isn't strong enough for. But no.

Instead, turns out Kara was never the right kind of hero because she had a savior complex that she apparently never addressed. There are so many things they did wrong, but the complete and utter destruction of all of their main characters (I've got a whole other post drafted for Alex, and tbh I could probably do one for each and every series regular if I really wanted to) is beyond unforgivable.

These beautiful characters and the incredible people who brought them to life deserved so much better than what they got. Because what they got was entirely after thought. Everything was afterthought to them. Because the more you look at the story they created, the clearer it becomes that the only story they really cared about selling was "KARA AND LENA ARE JUST FRIENDS even though they definitely aren't...stay tuned 😜"

[sometimesanalice]

Oh I had so much fun reading your comments and reactions!

Thank you so much for taking the time to share your thoughts! You don't know how much I enjoy it!

Your eyes trace over the exposed skin of his back. It’s dark, but you could point out where every freckle is on him with bullseye precision. Sometimes you weren’t sure if he knew you as well.

🥺🥺🥺-- oof! I know! I feel like it's extra rough because she loves so big, with her friends and partners, and to see her in a place where she's settled for someone who might not be worthy of all she has to offer and has her questioning like this is hurts!

It made you wonder sometimes if he even truly wanted you, if he cared enough to pay attention. Or if he was just content in the fact that you’d be there. And then you’d feel guilty for even thinking that in the first place.

This hit so hard 💔-- I had to go back and reread some of the things I'd written about her ex, and getting to write from this particular moment in time and the decision that ultimately lead her to moving across the country was a lot of fun. Because Jack got really complacent with her, and always prioritized himself over her, but was never outright awful to her or anything. Like he was a good boyfriend, until he wasn't. It just ended up being a lot of little things piling up, but those little things end up mattering so much!

Their reunion has been a long time coming, you just wished you could be there for him with this the way he’s always been there for you. Not just on the phone, but there by his side. But that was so him, always putting everyone else ahead of himself.

Being long distance besties is hard-- it really is!! especially during those moments of hardship when you want to show up for someone but aren't able to in the way you'd want to.

“You’ve worked so hard for this, Bradley.” “It was all I ever wanted,” he says, his voice rough, “To be like them.” Like Mav. Like Ice. Like his dad.

He's just a little boy that wants to be like his dad and uncles 🥹-- right?? it makes that pulling of the papers extra rough because you just KNOW mav and him probably talked about it all the time when he was growing up. He looked up to them so much!

“I told him no one would mourn him if he burned in.” He all but blurts it out. Your suck in sharp breath and you shake your head in disbelief, “Bradley, you didn’t.” There’s no hiding the shock in your voice.

The "no you didn't reaction" is so spot on-- we knew it! she knew it! he knew it! it was a terrible thing to say, but I just know he felt SO GUILTY after mav left.

He was talking to me like I was the kid he’d helped raise, instead of the one he’d fucked over. And then all that anger came rushing back. So I did what I always seem to do, I went for all the things that I knew would hurt him the most.”

Damn, I really get his reasoning because he is so hurt 🥺-- i had a lot of fun writing this one for many reasons, but mainly because it gave me a platform to be Bradley's Defense Attorney, lmao. That carrier scene carries so much weight I think in the innerworkings of Bradley and the guilty and anxiousness he was carrying about that mission, but especially because of how his last interaction with mav went. So getting to explore that in this story was fun for me!

“I don’t think I’ll ever forget the look in his eyes, kid. I really fucked up. It’s been eating at me ever since.” He pauses and clears his throat. “I hate that part of myself. I hate that I said that to him, regardless of the shit we’ve been through.” His voice is pinched, tight. “My mom would be so disappointed in me.”

I get why he did it and his feelings are valid but that he is reflecting on it is so good and important!-- I genuinely don't think he relished in the hurt his words caused Mav in that moment. He definitely had to sit and process, and that he had Sweet Girl as a sounding board who he could be his most authentic self with and trust her with that darker side of him that he hates knowing that she wasn't going to judge him for it. He needed a friend in that moment, and he had one!

The two of you talk about nothing in a way that feels like everything. And every chuckle you pull out of him feels like a victory. Your tired eyes flutter shut on their own, with them closed you can almost pretend he’s sitting right next to you, until a yawn slips out of you without your permission.

🥹🥹🥹-- the best of friends! they're each other's favorites! 🥰

California Dreaming

Summary: At sometime past 4am, the last thing you would have ever expected was to receive a call from Bradley Bradshaw. But time is a funny thing it feels like it might be running out.

Pairing: Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw x Female Reader

Length: 5.6K

Warnings: angst and a bit In-N-Out slander

(author's note: this fic is set in the 'Like I Can Universe', but can be read on its own!)

You’re pulled from the light sleep you’d just barely managed to slip into by the sound of your phone ringing.

Although you weren’t too sure if your mind was playing tricks on you again. And in that liminal space between awake and asleep, you didn’t trust yourself to know the different anymore. Sleep and you haven’t been on the best of terms over the couple of months, and you had the dark circles under your eyes to prove it.

Your boss had told you about the chatter he’d heard about a position opening up soon at the West Coast office. It was an opportunity that would be perfect for you, minus the fact it would involve uprooting your entire life and moving across the country. You still hadn’t given him an answer yet whether he should put you forward for it or not. But you’d taken to sleeping with your ringer on just in case you were needed for anything, not wanting to close the door completely. And you’d woken up in a panic more than once thinking you’d slept through an emergency call, only to see absolutely zero new notifications.

Just when think it might have been another stress induced fluke, it goes off again.

Bleary eyed, you scramble to reach it. Wanting to silence it to not wake up your boyfriend from his more-peaceful-than-yours slumber. Only half-consciously noting it’s sometime past 4 AM.

However, it’s the name splashed across the screen that makes your heart stop.

𝗕𝗥𝗔𝗗𝗟𝗘𝗬 𝗕𝗥𝗔𝗗𝗦𝗛𝗔𝗪

You sit straight up, the crisp white sheets your boyfriend preferred pooling around your waist.

“Bradley?” You don’t even remember hitting the green button before the phone was up to your ear. “Bradley? Are you ok?” The words come out a sleepy slur all jumbled together by your sluggish tongue.

He’d texted you when he landed back on US soil; a silly selfie with crinkled bag of McDonalds in his hand and the American flag in the background. It had made you grin like an idiot when your phone had lit up with it.

You knew that he had been called back to Top Gun, but that was as much as he’d been able to tell you.

With the time difference, it makes it the hour too early for you, but also too late for him. He should be asleep right now. But you know Bradley, he wouldn’t be calling right now unless it was about something important.

“Hey, I’m sorry. I know it’s late there,” Bradley apologizes. “Or early, I guess.”

Tired. He sounds so tired.

You didn’t doubt he was still probably fighting the jetlag that came with being in San Diego after living in Japan for the last year and a half. But it was the weariness in his tone that had you concerned.

“But you’re ok?” you press. You needed to hear it.

“I…” he pauses, then sighs. “Yeah, kid. Everything’s fine.”

You blow out a relieved breath, rubbing at your heavy eyes.

“Good. That’s good,” you nod, reassuringly. Not that he can see you.

He is safe. He is ok. That’s all that matters to you.

Jack groans your name. “Seriously?” The word drips of exasperation and annoyance.

You wince. Less at its sharpness, but more at the feeling like you can’t seem do anything right lately.

You and your boyfriend have been together a little over two years now. You have a comfortable life together in Boston, nice even. But you shook the snowglobe of your relationship when you’d first mentioned the possibility of a promotion and moving, and it still felt like you were waiting for the remainders of all those stirred up flakes to settle back down.

“Give me a minute, Bradley,” you whisper into the phone, “Don’t hang up.” Your voice is so quiet you’re not even sure he heard you.

You turn towards your boyfriend, an apology on the tip of your tongue, but he’s already rolled over away from you.

A literal cold shoulder.

Your eyes trace over the exposed skin of his back. It’s dark, but you could point out where every freckle is on him with bullseye precision. Sometimes you weren’t sure if he knew you as well.

Like when he’d bring you red roses, a flower you’ve never felt one way or another about. You’d tell yourself it’s the thought that counts, that it’s the gesture that matters. But for as many times as you’ve bought your favorite flowers yourself and displayed them on the coffee table in your shared living room, Jack has never once brought them home for you.

It made you wonder sometimes if he even truly wanted you, if he cared enough to pay attention. Or if he was just content in the fact that you’d be there.

And then you’d feel guilty for even thinking that in the first place.

But you didn’t just break up with someone over flowers.

Or the way he always seemed to make plans for you with his friends without ever asking you first. Or the way he was never more attentive to you until the two of you were in front of a group.

There’s a sliver of moonlight peeking through the edges of the blinds of your bedroom. A set of curtains would have solved the issue, but you’d never been able to get Jack on board. It was something you there thankful for now as you tiptoed out of the room with just enough light to make sure you wouldn’t trip over anything.

You ease the door gently closed behind you, feeling some of the tension melt from your body.

“Ok, I’m back,” you tell your best friend.

“I take it we woke up Jack?”

“Yeah,” you sigh, padding towards the black leather couch in the living room. You fight back the hiss that wants to be released when your bare thighs touch the ice-cold material. The October chill had a way of sneaking in everywhere. “He’s got a big pitch presentation on Friday,” you say, feeling like you need to explain, “So he’s just a bit on edge right now.”

Bradley makes a noncommittal sound, something close but not quite like a disapproving rumble. You distract yourself from reading into it too much by turning on the lamp on the side table to its lowest setting. A dim glow illuminating the living room.

“Tell me, how’s California?” It’s a pivot. You know you’re trying to smooth things over; you’ve been doing a lot of that lately.

“Sunny.”

You snort and roll your eyes.

“It seems you left good jokes back in Japan,” you tease. You pull your knees up to your chest and reach for your favorite soft knit blanket, tucking it around you. “Be honest, how many things did you forget to pack this time?”

Bradley groans your name. This time you smile.

“I had to take scissors to my favorite pair of Levi’s, because I didn’t bring any shorts for the beach.”

Picturing the pained look on his face as he desecrated his favorite jeans nearly sends you into a fit a giggles. But out of respect for the fallen and your best friend’s feelings you press your lips together, the corners pulling up on their own.

You can’t resist lightly teasing him though, “Beach jeans? That sounds like a choice.”

“Desperate times call for desperate measures,” Bradley says, solemnly. The drama queen.

“Is there someone who saw you in them that I could bribe for some new blackmail material?” you ask. “It’s been a while since I’ve gotten my hands on anything truly juicy.”

“Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, kid, but I looked damn good in them.”

This time you don’t hold back the laugh, only muffling it with a hand over your mouth when you realize that your boyfriend could probably hear you through the closed door.

“I’ll believe it when I see it.”

“Give me some time and I’ll see what I can do.”

“I’ll make some space in my Bradshaw Blackmail folder in the meantime.” Bradley’s warm chuckle in your ear makes the room feel less cold. “So what else have you been up to?”

“We haven’t had a ton of down time, but I did hit up an In-N-Out with Natasha the other night.” That was a name you were familiar with. You’ve never met Bradley’s fellow aviator and friend, but you were happy he had someone with him there that he was close to. “It was the same one I took you to when you came to visit after I finished Top Gun the first time.”

It was a fluke of fate that you’d been sent to the West Coast office for some training around the time that Bradley was on leave before being sent back to his squadron. The overlap was only for a few days, but the two of you had made the most of it.

“Who knew you were such a sentimentalist?” You lean your head back against the couch.

“It’s the closest one to base,” he justifies, “Although, you’ll be happy to know their milkshakes are still trash.”

You grin. “Hey, I never said they were trash. That was all you, Bradshaw.”

You’ve only been there the once, but it had been fun getting to experience it with him for your first time. He’d ordered more than enough food for two people, making sure to get some of the more classic not-so-secret menu items for you to try. And the Neapolitan shake had been fine, but the ones from the ice cream shop in your hometown where Bradley had had his first job were much better.

“Your face said otherwise,” he bats back.

You hum noncommittally, not wanting to concede. It was more fun for you this way, even if he was right. Not to mention no one knows how to read your face better than Bradley does.

When you don’t argue, he continues, “There’s even a rumor going around that they might want to keep some of us around longer. Like they’d form a new squadron that would be stationed here.”

You perk up, “In San Diego? You could be there permanently?” Between his deployments and moving around from base to base, you don’t think he’s been in one place for more than two years since he went to UVA. “That would be amazing.”

“Yeah, it really would,” Bradley agrees, he sounds hopeful, “But I don’t want to get ahead of myself.”

‘Hope for the best, but expect the worst’ was the motto he seemed to live by. He’d had the rug pulled out from underneath him more times than anyone else you knew.

The two of you are quiet for a moment.

You don’t want to push him into talking about whatever the reason is that he’s called so early in the morning. But no matter how many jokes you trade with him, it’s still in the forefront of your mind. And try as you might, you can’t shake that feeling of unsettledness that was resting heavily on your chest.  

Outside your living room window, the streetlights are bright against the dark sky.

You’ve told him more times than you could count that he could call you any time, but Bradley being Bradley has always made it a point to call during hours that were convenient for you, even if that meant he was still up at some ungodly hour.

But that was so him, always putting everyone else ahead of himself.

With the confidentiality that goes hand in hand with his job, you know he can’t talk about the specifics. It was something you were used to after nearly a decade of Naval service behind him.

You nibble on your lower lip, weighing your words.

“How’s it been with…” You trail off, but you know he knows who you’re referring to. You run a hand up and down your calf, trying to warm up quicker.

Mav? Pete? He’d been Captain Mitchell the last time you’d seen him back when you were in high school, you weren’t sure what his rank was now.

Mav has always been the number one topic on Bradley Bradshaw’s No Fly List. The few times you’ve dared to bring it up in the past had been shut down quicker than you think he could probably fly his jet.

Bradley told you last week in a text that had simply read He’s here. You didn’t even have to ask who he was. It had been just as much of a shock to you as you imagined it probably was for him seeing the man who had derailed his dreams when everything else in his world had already fallen apart.

It was a story you’d always thought there had been more to, but between the two of them you’d always be Team Bradley. That’s how it was supposed to be for best friends.

You can feel Bradley mulling over his answer. “It’s been… motivating.”

The way he says it you can’t tell if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. And maybe he doesn’t even know himself.

You sit up straighter on the couch. “Oh?” you say, casually. Neutrally. Not wanting to let your inflection to color Bradley’s response.

Their reunion has been a long time coming, you just wished you could be there for him with this the way he’s always been there for you. Not just on the phone, but there by his side.

Bradley sighs again, it’s heavier this time. Like he has the weight of the world on his shoulders. He’s probably roughly running his hand down his face, the way he always does when he’s really, truly frustrated. Like he’s trying to free those too big feelings from trapped beneath his skin.

“I’m flying with him for the first time in my career. I want him to see why I’m here. I want to show him.” The anger, the hurt rings though loud and clear. But so does the determination. “These patches I’ve been called back are the best of the best that there is. And I’m one of them, kid. And I got here on my own, without him.”

You wait to see if he is going to continue or not, wanting to give him the space to talk through his feelings, but he’s gone quiet again.

“You’ve worked so hard for this, Bradley.”

“It was all I ever wanted,” he says, his voice rough, “To be like them.”

Like Mav. Like Ice. Like his dad.

You’d been there for the fallout. He’d been crushed when he didn’t get to go to the Academy, the self-destruction that followed had been hard to watch. You’d seen the way he had to pick up the pieces of his life. The way the boy had quickly had to become a man. Every choice Bradley has made since then has been with one purpose in mind.

He’d set out to be a Naval aviator and he’d achieved it.

“You should be so proud of yourself,” you say, softly.  “I know I am.”

You imagine Mav is proud too, but you don’t say that part out loud.

After all, he practically helped raise Bradley- in his own way.  Always calling whenever he could. Sending presents. Spending his leave time with the Bradshaws. They’d been a family.

“Sometimes-” Bradley cuts himself off, trying to collect his thoughts. You can almost feel the tormented whirlwind of them through the phone. “Sometimes,” he starts again, “There are moments, when I see him fly- it’s crazy shit that no one but him can do- and I forget. Just for a second. But then I remember and it’s like I’m eighteen and feeling like I’ve been punched in the gut all over again.”

Your stomach twists in the same way it always does when you’re reminded of that rough period in time when the two of you were just teens. And now that you’re older, your ache even more for the boy whose whole world was so turned upside down by the one person he thought would never let him down.

“When we’re flying together, I’m reminded how it could have been. How it should have been,” he corrects himself, roughly. “I thought I was fucking over it. It’s been fifteen years, kid. And I’m pissed at myself because he should be nothing to me, I shouldn’t care what he thinks.” His voice is a hoarse rasp. “Why can’t I get over it?”

It’s times like this where you can feel every mile between the two of you. Every inch of space in your long-distance friendship. And it chafes at you that all you can be is an ear for him to vent to rather than a shoulder for him to lean on.

“There’s no version of this where it wasn’t going to be tough. And I don’t think you trying to brush off who he was to you, like none of that mattered, is going to make this any easier for you,” you tell him. “Not with the history the two of you have. And you can’t punish yourself for having feelings about it.”

“I told him no one would mourn him if he burned in.” He all but blurts it out.

Your suck in sharp breath and you shake your head in disbelief, “Bradley, you didn’t.” There’s no hiding the shock in your voice.

You know there’s an unspoken code of conduct between aviators from the things you’ve picked up from the way he’s talked about his career and fellow Naval officers over the years. That when everyone’s lives are so dependent on each other to look out for one another, there were certain things you didn’t joke about. Things you didn’t throw around, not even in the heat of a moment.

“Shit, shit,” he mutters, more to himself than to you. 

You don’t know what to say to him. It’s silent in your darkened living room. The only sound is of his affected breathing over the phone.

You can’t keep dancing around things with him anymore tonight. He cracked open the door, but now you’re the one pushing through it.

“Bradley, what happened?”

His voice is strained when he speaks again, “We had a couple accidents during training a few days ago- no one was hurt.” He is quick to clarify, and you know it’s for your benefit. “It was a bird strike and they had to eject, but they were cleared to fly the next morning.” It hits too close to home all the same. You don’t worry about anyone the way you worry about Bradley. “Mav found me in the Ready Room later that night, and it was just the two of us alone for the first time since everything happened. He was talking to me like I was the kid he’d helped raise, instead of the one he’d fucked over. And then all that anger came rushing back. So I did what I always seem to do, I went for all the things that I knew would hurt him the most.”

You squeeze your eyes tight in sympathy. You’ve been on the receiving end of Bradley’s sharp tongue before. You’ve never held it against him, but you’ve also never forgotten the way his words sliced straight through you.

“I knew it was fucked up as I said it, but in that moment it felt good to hurt him the way he hurt me,” Bradley says, quietly. Every word feels chewed on, like they’d be covered in indents of his teeth. “I don’t think I’ll ever forget the look in his eyes, kid. I really fucked up. It’s been eating at me ever since.” He pauses and clears his throat. “I hate that part of myself. I hate that I said that to him, regardless of the shit we’ve been through.” His voice is pinched, tight. “My mom would be so disappointed in me.”

The guilt in his voice is unmistakable and it's a confession you can tell that takes a lot out of him. No one holds on to regrets- or grudges- like he does. Even if the one he’s holding it against is himself. You know this is going to be something he’ll carry around with him for a long time to come.

But it is the way he stumbles over the mention of Carole that cracks your heart open.

You had grown up adoring her. She’d been lightning in a bottle. Her smile was always the brightest in the room, and her laughter always made people stop to look wanting to be in on the joke too. There was no one quite like her.

And after she died, you’d mourned that loss too. You still carried the evidence of that love with the scar issue on your heart. But for Bradley, that was a wound that no amount of time would ever fully heal for him. Forever a reminder of who wasn’t there.

He’d already lost so much. First, his dad. Then his mom. And now with his uncle.

Bradley had told you about Ice and his passing. You knew they had come to an understanding in the after of everything. It was a relationship held together by a monthly phone call or two, and a dinner invite whenever Bradley was in town. He’d called you during one of his breaks on the morning he found out, troubled because he didn’t know he’d even been sick.

Just more time missed with someone who had meant something to him.

You didn’t want him to regret saying those harsh words without the chance to make amends. You didn’t want him to miss out on any more time with people who wanted to be there for him. You didn’t want him to shoulder around that pain and resentment anymore. A decade and a half of it was more than enough to carry that around. You didn’t want him to forever push away the one person who probably cared for him just as much as you did.

“So apologize,” you gently urge him. “Talk to Mav and apologize. For him and for you.”

He sighs, heavily, “It’s not that simple.”

Gone is the quiet girl in her dark living room. You want him to hear you. “It really is though, Bradley. Tell him. Pull him aside after class or get there early. Or take him to that bar on the beach you told me about and buy him a beer. Don’t let this be a thing you can’t take back. You can still apologize.”

“I-I don’t think I can. There’s not enough time for that now.” His words are stilted.

You feel your eyebrows pinch in confusion, “Aren’t you guys there for a couple more weeks?” He doesn’t answer you right away and you feel a chill drift across you, even under your blanket. “Does that mean you’re shipping out soon?”

“It’s why I called.” There’s something more serious in his tone, you’re talking to the Naval officer now. “We got the orders, we ship out tomorrow. Or later today, technically.”

There’s a swooping sensation in your stomach and it feels like the floor has fallen out beneath your feet.

“Goddamn it, Bradshaw. Why didn’t you say something sooner?” Your voice wavers.

“I know, I probably should have.” At least he has the good sense to admit it. “I just wanted to talk to you, like normal. Although we didn’t get very far before I derailed the conversation,” he says, self-deprecatingly. “Do you think you can give me a few more minutes of normal, kid?”

You know there’s not much you can ask, and even less than he can tell you. You’re surprised you even allowed to know this much.

But you don’t need a dossier of confidential government information to tell you that whatever he’s being sent to do is dangerous, because you’d be able to read even the most redacted version of Bradley Bradshaw. You’d known something was off from the very moment you’d seen his name lighting up your phone.

You don’t want him to feel your anxiousness, you don’t want to add to whatever else he’s currently going through. Bradley called you because he wants to let his mind relax. So if he wants normal, you can give him normal. You can give him as much as he wants, as much as he needs.

“I’m sorry for making fun of your beach shorts.”

Bradley huffs a soft laugh, “No, you’re not.”

“You know,” you muse, fighting to keep your tone light and airy, “I haven't played hooky in a while and I have some miles to use before the end of the year.”

“You want to come out here?” The suggestion works just like you hoped it would, he sounds less troubled than before.

“I could use some Vitamin D and a milkshake. Do you know a good place to make it worth my while?”

“I might. It depends on your opinion is about Neapolitan shakes though.” Your nose scrunches up on its own. “Are you making that face, kid?”

“No,” you reply too quickly.

“Liar.”

You smile to yourself. “I’ll even let you pick me up from the airport and you can finally show me that Bronco of yours in person. It only seems fair that I get to see what all the hubbub is about after I’ve spent hours letting you talk my ear off about it: V8 engine this and four-speed manual transmission that.” You do your best Bradley impersonation and earn an amused scoff from him.

He’d bought it right before he’d been sent to Japan. Ice and his wife had been looking after it for him while he was away. Bradley had even documented his reunion with it after landing back on US soil by sending you a video of it with him humming the Peaches & Herb song in the background.

“You’ve got yourself a deal,” Bradley says. You think he might be smiling too.

It’s all to easy for you to slip into a normal conversation with him. He asks about your mom and stepdad. You don’t mention the possible promotion, but instead tell him about the passive aggressive microwave fish debacle that plagued the entire floor for days.

The two of you talk about nothing in a way that feels like everything. And every chuckle you pull out of him feels like a victory. Your tired eyes flutter shut on their own, with them closed you can almost pretend he’s sitting right next to you, until a yawn slips out of you without your permission.

“It’s getting late, I should let you go.”

You want to keep talking to him, but you can imagine the circles that have already formed under his eyes over the last few days. “You should get your sleep. Rest up, because we have big milkshake plans…and you’re not allowed to stand me up. Got it, Bradshaw?”

“I hear you,” he promises. “Try to stay out of trouble until I get back, kid.”

“No promises.” You feel your lower lip wobble.

“Atta girl.”

You laugh. It sounds a little watery to your own ears, but you hope he doesn’t hear it. You’re grateful he didn’t choose to FaceTime you. It’s probably for the best he can’t see your face, you’ve never been a very good poker player.

“Be safe, Bradley.”

You’ve already decided that you’ll let him be the one to hang up first. You didn’t have it in you to hit the red button before he did.

He blurts out your name. “Wait.”

“I’m still here,” you answer, quickly.

You hear him sigh in relief. “I-You know you’re my favorite, right?”

“I know.” Your throat gets thick and your eyes prickle. “And you’re mine.”

“Yeah?”

Your friendship with him as always mattered the most to you. It wasn’t even a question.

“Of course. I didn’t make very intricate embroidery floss friendship bracelets at summer camp when I was thirteen for just anyone, you know.” You’d spent hours making him one in his favorite colors. He’d worn it until it fell off and then asked for another. “You’re my favorite too,” you repeat, wanting him to hear it again.

“Ok. Ok, good,” Bradley says. He lets out a slow breath. “See you soon for milkshakes, kid.”

“See you soon.” It comes out a reedy whisper.

You stay on the line until he hangs up.

And only when the screen goes black do you allow yourself to give into the emotions that had been surging up inside of you.

With the corner of your blanket, you wipe at the tears that are making hot tracks down your cheeks. There’s a hollowness that has settled in your chest that you don’t think will go away until he tells you when to book your ticket to come and see him.

It doesn’t matter that you remind yourself that he is one of the best at he does. Or that you know he’ll be with other people who are just as good as he is. In all the years he’s been in the Navy, you’ve never once heard him sound that unsure before, and it’s rattled you.

It’s not that you didn’t know there was risk every time he sat in the cockpit of his fighter jet, even if it was just to train. But this was the first time it’s ever felt like he was preparing you for the possibility that you might never see or hear from him again.

You didn’t want to imagine a world with Bradley Bradshaw in it.

He’s never once broken a promise with you, and he wasn’t allowed to start now.

You don’t know how long you sit there in the dark with only your feelings and the sound of the clock on the wall for company.

Your eyes drift towards the closed bedroom door, where you’re sure Jack is sleeping unbothered on a soft mattress between stark white sheets.

It hits you then that he hadn’t come to check on you.

It’s still just as dark outside. Only the little lamp next to the couch offers any light, as you look around your living room.

You’d liked all the exposed brick when you’d first moved in, had imagined all the ways you could soften the apartment with things to make it more cozy for you and your boyfriend. More like the two of you.

But the books on the bookcase had been carefully chosen to fit a neutral color palette, while all your favorites had been moved to the smaller one in the office. Their colorful covers hidden away. The spot where you thought some kind of landscape painting could have gone, had a photograph of a sepia-toned city hanging there instead. It was still art, but it was the kind of thing that had been made to disappear into the background.

You keep waiting to see a piece of yourself reflected in the room, some mark of you that had been left behind in the home you live in, but other than the black and white striped rug that had been too good of a deal to pass up on at a store with a no return policy, none could be found. You didn’t see any of yourself there at all.

You thought that you’d been making compromises, but it’s dawning on you that all along really what you’ve been doing is making concessions. A one-sided partnership. When all you ever wanted was to share a life with someone.

Earlier you found yourself making excuses to Bradley, but now it felt like something you weren’t sure you wanted to look past.

You are tired.

And not because it’s sometime around 5 AM now. You’re already well past the start of a new day.

You’re tired of being the one to trying to make something work.

You’re tired of being the one who always makes a genuine effort.

You’re tired of red roses.

Maybe people did end relationships over flowers. Or the art on the walls.

Grabbing your phone, you open your email ignoring all the messages that are already waiting for you, and start typing out a message. When you’re done, you read it over a couple of time before sending it off to your boss. The whoosh that follows as it bounces off the exposed brick in the quiet living room feels like progress.

You didn’t want to miss out on any more time either.

Not with the people who mattered the most to you. The people you mattered the most to.

Leaning over the arm of the couch you turn off the lamp and stretch out to get comfortable on the cushions underneath you. You tuck a throw pillow under your head and drape the blanket over you.

From this angle, you can almost pretend the city lights look like stars.

Your alarm is already set, and if you’re lucky you can doze a bit longer before it will go off all too soon.

But it’ll ok if sleep doesn’t find you.

You’re already California dreaming.

Who gave me permission to do this to myself?! Oh my heart. Don't mind me, I'm just in my angsty era. Thank you for reading!

If you enjoyed these two, you can read their story from the start here!

You can read my other stories here!

taglist:

@gretagerwigsmuse @sehnsuchts-trunken  @callsignspark @notroosterbradshaw @tongue-like-a-razor @laracrofted @ofstoriesandstardust @bradshawsbitch @starryeyedstories @top-hhun-main @startrekfangirl2233 @callsign-viper @teacupsandtopgun @angelbabyange @oneelleandaneye @mizzzpink @cornishkat @alana4610 @20th-centu-fairy-girl @pono-pura-vida @donttouchmycarrots @eg-dr3amer3 @whaledots-blog @a-beaverhausen @hangmanscoming @mandolin22 @theweekndhistorybook @lilpeekabooze @high-bi-imgonnacry @ahintofkiwistrawberry @ruewrote @spiderman-stilinski @jayniebop @my-soulmate-is-mycroft @imaginecrushes @keyrani @chicomonks @artemissunn @mayempress @eddiemunsonreader

[higuchisora]

So, we all remember the infamous Flare Scene™. As I've stated in another post, I've been obsessing over it lately, and I realized I never talked about this though I thought I did. There's that part where Jinx goes "are you real?" when she sees Vi again, and we all know it's because she's been hallucinating and is so in disbelief that Vi could be there because she was supposed to be dead etc., etc. This is all super heartbreaking and the scene did put me out of commission for a while. But then I started thinking.

Jinx already has hallucinations of her dead loved ones- Vi included, if we remember the Dinner Party From Hell and how she "never truly died" to Jinx because she kept hearing her all the time, giving her advice and warnings and reassurances. But the point is, when she sees Vi again for real, Vi is obviously older, not at all like how she remembers her, which doesn't fit the pattern for her other hallucinations.

Even when they're scribbled out, Mylo and Claggor look exactly the way they did when she last saw them- the day they died. Vi doesn't fit that pattern because she's not dead nor is she a hallucination. But that's what got me thinking. What if Vi died that night with everyone else, just like Jinx had thought? Imagine her reaction if Jinx turned around and Vi was actually still 15?

In this AU I'd imagine that Vi was one of three things: 1- a hallucination, 2- brought back from the dead, or 3- stuck in the future via time travel. I'd prefer the third, because it would have a pretty neat explanation: Ekko brought her back by accident. As we know, in the game he has the ability to rewind time. But he's not a complete master, and the discovery was through an accident. So what if he has another one of these accidents and Vi winds up in the future?

This make for so much angst on all sides- Vi would be wondering where the fuck it all went wrong, Ekko would be conflicted about seeing what was basically a ghost in front of him, and Jinx would be conflicted about what Vi would think of her if she found out about everything/whether or not she should even tell her. And that's not even covering things like Jinx and Ekko looking at her and realizing how fucking tiny she is (like, wow. This kid even younger than them used to protect them? How in the world-), or- what I find most entertaining- Silco's reaction to her return. Like. His "from the dead?!" would be EVEN FUCKING FUNNIER for me and not gonna lie that's the most important part in my opinion.

And Jinx's reaction? If we thought she was unhinged now, imagine if she genuinely actually thought Vi wasn't real? If Jinx had pulled the gun on her like she did with that firelight girl? The utter shock Vi would be in, to see her baby sister in this state, older than her now and also trying to kill her? I'd imagine Ekko would have to step in again, but for entirely different reasons. And who knows what would happen this time around, with a Vi who doesn't know what happened with their family and Silco in that warehouse? With a Jinx that would do anything- anything- to recover the love and validation she lost the night she made that mistake and lost her sister? Or a Silco who realizes that not only does time travel exist, but a literal dead girl showed up and is now- somewhere with Jinx?

But then it also makes me think about the second one, the possibility of her being "brought back from the dead". Imagine a world where Vi had actually died that night- and Jinx might've even had proof? What if she'd seen her body? That night was already traumatizing enough, but that- that would be the rotten cherry on top of the shitty cake. If you thought her mental state was unstable now, this would definitely be the catalyst that would send her catapulting headfirst into "there's no saving her" territory WAY faster than all of the stuff of season 1 ever did. Because remember, Jinx's hallucinations of Vi had apparently all been auditory: when talking about how Vi "never left" in the dinner party scene, all of her examples were of hearing Vi, not seeing her. Which makes sense. Even if she knew objectively that Vi was dead, she never saw her. She'd have no corpse to attach a voice to, and even though she could've imagined her as she was when she last saw her alive, I think Jinx's particular kind of psychosis just doesn't really work that way, if that makes sense. If anything, I think it was almost her brain's way of protecting her in some strange fashion. Like seeing Vi well and truly dead, another voice amongst the chorus of accusations hissing at her, would've truly been the final nail in the coffin.

I think she'd be even less stable if that's even possible, though it might not be an outwards difference. I think Jinx's episodes and breakdowns would either be more volatile to the point even Silco is concerned, or more frequent to the point that some might not even know what she's like outside of those moments. And all the while, her guilt and grief and longing for her family would worsen, especially when concerning Vi, until it boils over into the territory of obsession.

So what if- (if you know about Warwick and Oriana, you know where this is going) Singed got his hands on Vi's corpse? I can't imagine Jinx would be happy about him desecrating her sister's corpse, especially not in this AU, but it made me imagine a Jinx with a goal beyond helping Silco achieve his dreams. We all know she loves him, but we also know that as soon as Vi came back into the picture Jinx dropped everything for even the possibility to see her again. Hell, her first assumption was that he kept Vi from her on purpose- there wasn't a single second where she gave him, the man who raised her these past 7 years, the benefit of the doubt. She didn't even consider that he might not have known. But I think if she had her way, they both would've been a part of her life, instead of just one or the other. So what if, in a world where she's much more obsessed with Vi and the past than before, Singed approaches a sad and desperate Jinx after another episode.

Maybe it's just after Silco has taken her in. Maybe it's some time later, once she proves her worth not only to Silco, but to others- like Singed- as the most direct line to Silco's ear. If you know about Warwick and more importantly Oriana, you probably could guess why he'd do this. But for those who are out of the loop and want to stay that way, all you need to know is Singed has every reason to want to... alter the human condition. So what if he approaches a desperate Jinx at one of her lowest points, and tells her all about what shimmer and hextech were capable of, and... made a deal?

She'd ask Silco for some favors (he's much more likely to acquiesce if she's the one making the request), cause general chaos, steal a couple things, maybe even provide a couple of corpses. And in return?

In return, he'd bring Vi back.

I can just imagine her sowing what appears to be random, meaningless chaos, until people notice the bodies that go missing. Sure, Jinx is a wild fighter, and a bomber on top of that- it's not unthinkable that you'd be unable to recover some remains every now and then. But it becomes a pattern- every time she shows up, someone goes missing. And more often than not, it's a particular type. Young, decently built (maybe even pink-haired) girls. Not a single trace of them can ever be recovered. Maybe once or twice, she's seen carrying them away. Eventually, things come to a head, as they must. Maybe it's Cait. Maybe it's Marcus. Hell, maybe it could be Silco, eventually too curious about what she's doing with all these bodies and killing all these people- some of which are enforcers - and running away with them.

But I think ultimately, it'll be Ekko and his Firelights. Either way, eventually a confrontation comes. Ekko gets to the lab, finally having traced or followed her there. He's got a million game plans, a million thoughts and sentiments, a million questions in his head. They all disperse the second he brusts into the room and finds Singed and Jinx, standing over a corpse with a million tubes in it.

Jinx would try to fight him on the spot, but Singed wouldn't want them endangering his experiments. And as angry as Ekko is, I think he'd realize how dangerous it would be to fight around all that shimmer. Who knows if one of them accidentally ends up ingesting some? So he starts off with words. She's killed so many people, and it's clear not even Silco knows why. Hell, some of them were his own people, and despite him protecting her from the consequences, even he's not happy with her at the moment because for once her chaos hasn't yielded any visible results. As far as he's aware. And that's when Jinx laughs.

She tells him she obviously has a plan. She needed those bodies for Singed. Why? She's genuinely surprised at the question. It's because she has to fix things, of course. Why doesn't Ekko understand? If this works, these people won't stay dead for long anyway. This would undo everything. She'd finally be forgiven. This is going to help. Jinx is going to help.

And then she'd walk over to a tank, the only one that's actually working, and pull back the cover. Inside is Vi, preserved as well as possible with what little resources they have. And then Jinx would sigh and caress the glass with a smile. Because after all these years, Singed was finally getting results. All these years, and she was finally one step closer to her dream. One step closer to fixing everything. Didn't he understand? She was finally going to help. She was going to bring Vi back.

Everything was going to be okay again.