#if she ever did i'd be genuinely shocked. but the show wasn't JUST him. or just about him. there were scoobies that existed before him

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

hi hi hello im back with my ‘raidon beef bs!! can i get kieran and mc having some sort of argumentative confrontation when mc first comes to blueberry that almost gets physical before the mc’s alpha koraidon very angrily gets kieran to back off? -🧃

"[Y/n]..."

Looking to Kieran, your eyebrows furrowed at the hateful gaze he was sending you, teeth gnashed together.

You could tell he wanted to desperately say something to you--for having the nerve to show up at his school after what you did to him back in his homeland.

He was shocked that you came to BB Academy at all, before he saw this as his chance to show you how much he's changed and how strong he became. He even permitted you to challenge the Elite Four directly, growing impatient as he was ready finally crush you in-battle.

You, on the other hand, were a bit irritated at this new "persona" of his.

As far as you're concerned, he didn't need to do all of this. He didn't need to be petty and cruel to innocent league club members who don't live up to his standards. He didn't need to dismiss his sister so rudely and act like she once did.

Of course, you feel bad about what happened in Kitakami. Maybe you could've told him about Ogerpon much sooner and let him have a few wins...but this was too much.

Now he was being a straight-up bully. And you utterly despise those types of people.

"You better not go losing to anyone until our battle." Kieran huffed.

"Pssh, like I'd ever lose.." You lightly scoffed, deciding to match his energy.

Although when you looked back at him, you could see a forced grin forming on his face, spreading from ear-to-ear.

It could easily rival a Gengar's.

"Good. I'm not a little kid anymore. And you'll know it when I show you how the best of the best battle." He vowed, turning on his heel and preparing to walk away.

"Kiki!" Carmine gasped in outrage. "You shouldn't talk to [y/n] like that."

You were about to tell her not to intervene, as you didn't wanna see the siblings' relationship fall into further disarray because of this, but what Kieran said next broke the straw on the Numel's back for you.

"Shut it, sis-"

"Look, you can be mad at me all you want. But don't you dare take it out on everybody else."

His scowl deepened as he stared dead straight at you. "What did you say?"

"You heard me. "You stepped closer to him in challenge, fed up with his attitude. "And you're right. You're not a little kid anymore....you're a spoiled little brat who's mad that he didn't get what he wanted. When are you really gonna grow up and stop this charade, huh?"

For a moment he looked genuinely shocked that you're talking to him this way, but then his eyes darkened. "Don't. This isn't some charade. You made me like this-"

"Oh don't give me that. I didn't tell you to act like a bully. You did that to yourself. I was only trying to enjoy a nice trip away from Paldea until you decided to put me up on a pedestal." The words kept spilling out, and you didn't care that he was fuming more and more by the second. "Then you accuse me of ruining your life??"

"Stop it.."

"I get it, you wanna be like me. You wanna do what I can. But at least I don't go around throwing tantrums every time I lose-"

"SHUT UP!! JUST SHUT UP!!" Kieran suddenly turned around, hands grabbing the front of your uniform as he yanked you in close. His eyes were full of rage. "I'm through with being like you...I'm gonna be BETTER THAN YOU IN EVERY WAY!!! AND MAYBE YOU'LL KNOW HOW I FELT!!"

Although his screams initially startled you, and began attracting a small crowd, you tried your best not to show any fear.

But even so, this new side to him was terrifying to witness.

Maybe you pushed his buttons a little too much.

"Get your hands off me, Kieran." You warned firmly, gently grasping his wrists. "This isn't the time or place."

"In case it wasn't obvious, the battle court's right behind us. So it's the perfect place." He snarled. "And since you're so damn confident, maybe we'll just skip the Elite Four and get to the part where I kick--!!"

Before he could finish, one of the pokeballs attached to your belt popped open on its own, and from it emerged...

Koraidon.

Not the one who was your traveling companion who loved sandwiches, but the other member of its species: the alpha, the paradise protection protocol's defender--and now a very pissed off lizard who was able to jump out of its pokeball without your assistance.

Carmine, Drayton, and the other students gasped as it assumed its Apex build and scowled down at the boy, growling.

Suddenly Kieran didn't feel so high and mighty anymore, as he let you go and took a step away. An uncomfortable feeling of smallness and helplessness overtook him upon staring up at the Winged King's hostile gaze, a hand reaching for his Dragonite's pokeball on reflex.

You were stunned this Koraidon came to your defense quicker than the other. It must've somehow sensed the bullying behavior radiating from your rival.

'I guess it takes one to know one..'

The standoff continued for a few more moments...

Before Kieran surrendered.

"Fine. You made your point. The time for our real battle will come." His gaze went to Koraidon, his expression now cold and devoid of emotion. "Don't think you can always jump out to defend [y/n] like this. You'll see who's stronger."

It only snarled in response, while you remained beside it and frowned. "Kieran-"

"Looking forward to seeing you climb the ranks." Was all he said to you before he finally left you alone, the tension in the air still heavy as ever.

"Giiaa.."

"Thanks, buddy." You sighed, smiling a little as you stroked Koraidon's feathers. It relaxed its haunches, putting all four feet back on the ground so you could pet its snout. "Seems you've turned over a new leaf after all."

"Grraah!"

"Yeah..I can only hope he does, too.."

[luvzxr]

Little Pougie

Chapter 7

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Hey All! I've been pretty low lately so this is coming up late and I am sorry.

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Summery; In which fem!reader is the little sister of John B Routledge. Sweet, gentle and innocent. The complete opposite of JJ Maybank but he finds himself falling for her and he stop himself from doing so.

Pairing; Fem!reader x JJ Maybank

Word Count; 1,950

Warnings; Throughout this series there are talks of abuse, drug and alcohol use, trauma, talks of self doubt and wanting to be unalived. Possible smut in the future as well so read at your own risk!

Drown .07

(Y/n)

I usually don't hang out with Sarah or Kie - scratch that, I never really did. But when John B bats his ridiculous eyelashes with a puppy like plead, I usually could never tell him no. You could say that both of us like to use our puppy charm on each other. I couldn't complain though, I was having a good time with Sarah and Kie. I didn't have any other girlfriends than the two older ladies, one practically married to my brother and the other in love with his best friend, unexpectedly becoming the only two girls I could trust and hang around. It wasn't like I had a choice in the matter either.

And that's how I ended up positioned on the sofa in Sarah Cameron's little, but luxurious apartment her father handed over to her in a way to apologize to her. Of course, she hadn't accepted the apology but she needed the place to stay and it was probably the closest way she could get that as of right now. I'd much rather be sat up at home with a well over-sugared up drink and left over wrappers from numerous little bars of KitKat's but I wasn't entirely miserable lounging around with Kie and Sarah either. I had nothing else better to do on a Friday night and we weren't doing anything crazy. We were just sat on the small pieces of furniture, having a conversation.

I wasn't exactly the one having the conversation. Kie and Sarah were having their own little conversation about the boy troubles they'd been having with JJ and John B. I had no love interest to talk about so I found no need to pay much attention, let alone jump in with my two cents. So I was absent minded for the time being.

"(Y/n/n)?"

"Huh?" I said, my posture straightening once I realized my attention needed to be somewhere it truly mattered now.

"You're really quiet. What's up?" the blonde pointed out, pulling her legs up and crossing them over each other. She looked genuinely concerned and it made me question if JJ had mentioned to them about the incident that happened at work, which gave me all the more reason to try not to be suspicious. If John B found out then I'd never be able to work a day in my life again.

I shook my head, "I just don't have much to talk about," my shoulders rising up and falling back down. I truly wasn't interested in anyone and I partially had John B to blame for that. Most boys I did show interest in would only be shot down by my brother because he didn't like how the boy acted, where he came from, or just in general didn't like the idea of me being around him. I was a hopeless romantic but I wasn't exactly miserable, either.

I had nothing to really complain about because most of those boys eventually turned out to be exactly what John B warned me about. I had nothing but gratitude for him, regardless of his repetitive ways of protecting me.

"Have you ever been in love, (Y/n)?" the girl's brows furrowed.

All I could do was shake my head, which I guess seemed shocking to hear from a sixteen-year-old girl because Sarah seemed surprised. Maybe it was because no one really seemed to acknowledge the fact that I've never had a romantic connection with anyone other than fantasy characters on my favorite T.V. shows. I had no experience in that department-- most assumed I at least had a first kiss or even a hand-holding memory but I didn't. I was a virgin in almost every section and nothing was checked off the list.

"Well that's gonna have to change this summer," she said, in a matter-of-fact tone.

"What?"

"Yep,"

"You can't force love, Sarah," I groaned.

"No, but you can put yourself out there more (Y/n/n)." Sarah pointed in my direction, giving me that certain look. Yknow, that look a person gives you when they know they're right and all you can do is let out a small puff of air in defeat.

"I've tried, Sarah. That doesn't work in my favor,"

I tried so many times to put myself out there, but almost every time I had I was proven I should have never done so in the first place. The men now of days wanted nothing more than to tear into the innocence of inexperienced girls in order to show off to their friends and I wasn't going to be some trophy, I knew better than that-- I wanted more than that.

It wasn't my fault that most guys were dickheads and found that reserving myself for the right guy was prudish. I wanted to make sure that if I was going to do anything with a guy, he was going to be the right person to do it with and so far, none of them fit that category yet. I wasn't going to let some self-centered asshole get under my skin about wanting to be with the right guy.

I was tempted to call John B and beg him to bring me home, I knew he'd pick up in a heartbeat knowing I was waiting for his answer on the other end of the line. Only I knew that if I called I'd have to explain to him why I didn't want to stay and endure the fact that he wouldn't take, 'nothing John B,' as an answer. I also didn't want to cause unnecessary arguing between my brother and his lover because they haven't been on the best of terms recently anyway.

I was stuck between a rock and a hard place-- with no other options on my plate.

I could feel myself letting my mind wander off too far because every word slipping from Sarah's mouth became nothing but muffled sounds and I could do nothing but scold myself internally while trying to snap back to reality. Maybe it was just the topic of boys that hit home for me, or maybe it was just I found more comfort inside my head than expressing my trauma in fear that it would be passed down to my brother who eventually would never be able to live with himself if he knew the truth about my life and experiences.

John B's whole existence seemed to revolve around the simple task of keeping me out of harm's way, but even he couldn't do that and I don't blame him one bit for. He couldn't stand at my side for the rest of his life and I think even deep down, he knew that but he tried to be. He tries to be the big brother he's supposed to be but sometimes he also has to be a father and a mother at the same time and that's something he doesn't necessarily know how to be-- especially when he didn't get the luxury of feeling the parent love himself for a long period of time.

It was rough on him, too.

I knew he tried to keep himself together in front of me and everyone else— how he refused to have others worry about him when they had worse problems to focus on, and I'd never tell him this because I'd hate to see his face fall while I'd tell him but there have been multiple times where I've caught him sobbing—the kind of sobbing where you can't seem to make a noise but the broken plastered all over your face explains every ounce of pain you are feeling inside. Those moments are enough to break me, seeing my brother suffer in silence only to bounce back when he has to show his face around everyone is just a type of pain I can barely handle on the hardest days.

However, I wasn't too far gone to realize the immense buzzing at my side.

I glanced down, taking a quick peek at the caller ID, and realized it was the devil himself; John B.

You probably need to stop thinking about him, he can most definitely hear your thoughts.

A mix of shock and confusion filtered through my face but I reluctantly brought the device to my ear, not bothering to scan through the possible outcomes that were to come after picking up this call.

"Hello?"

"Hey Pougie," My brother slurred a tad with his words. He was tipsy but not completely gone. He sounded in distress, which was never good to hear when we were separated.  "I'm sorry to call you like this and interrupt your girls' night-"

"You didn't interrupt," I interrupt, trying to reassure him, "What's going on?"

"It's JJ."

My face fell the moment I heard his name, "What's wrong?"

I'm not sure why, but when it comes to JJ and drinking it always seems to end unpleasantly and I always assume something is wrong-- most times, it's nothing and they just need me to come help take care of him but there are other times when the boy has held too much in than he bursts when liquor comes into the equation.

I could hear a sigh on the other end before he continued, "He's drunk too much again and I kinda need your help. You're better at this stuff than I am,"

A part of me was inching for him to get on with it-- blurt it out if you will but then the other part was terrified to find out what kind of trouble JJ could have gotten himself into tonight.

"What do you mean?"

"It's like he exploded again (Y/n/n)," I could hear the worry beginning to devour his tone and at that moment I could feel my heart drop to the pit of my stomach.

"Yeah, I can come home."

"He's been asking for you and said you're the only one he can talk to about this."

My facial expression morphed into full on confusion, and quite a bit of concern for JJ's state of mind currently.

Why am I the only person he can talk to?

"A-alright, I'll be there shortly then?"

I can hear a faint but familiar voice in the background of the call before John B could respond to me, "Is she coming?"

"Yeah man, she's on her way," my brother retorted with what I can only imagine of a small head nod.

A small pause filled the room on the other end and even on my own, I suppose no one really knew what to say until John B broke the silence.

"I'll see you soon (Y/n/n). Be careful and call me if you need me to pick you up, Okay?" 

I wasn't sure If I wanted to trust the boy's driving in this state of mind. He was decent, even when he wasn't sober but nonetheless, he still gave me practical anxiety attacks each time we drove while he was intoxicated. I think I'd rather take my chances of walking home than I would take being in a vehicle with John B currently.

"I'll see you soon JB and I'll be okay," I wander off out of the living room to find my belongings before reluctantly ending the ten-minute long phone call.

For a moment, I fell back into my own little world but this time it was racking through the endless amount of horrible things that are currently going on with JJ, and how almost all of them ended the same exact way they always had.

Downing more liquor.

The boy had a liver, I'd give him that but I worried about him and how much longer he could keep up with this before something more critical was to happen and there was nothing that anyone could do to fix it this time around.

He let himself drown every time.

[folkdances]

phoenix... isn't that so sweet. like he was picked on once as a kid and he didn't even know edgeworth or larry at that point but edgeworth stood up for him and then so did larry and it literally changed his entire life two kids believing in him when no one else did changed his entire life and now he's made it his goal to make sure no one he ever meets feels like he did 🚬 yeah it's not that big of a deal he was 8 it was one day of his life but isn't that just so sweet that it WASN'T this earth shattering thing like the thing that changed so many lives was literally just people stood up for him once. what a sweet thing. what a beautiful little story.

and when he met maya he could have just as easily treated her with doubt or suspicion or they could have played him defending her as i'm doing this just for mia idc about you but from the moment maya says that line about "in the office you looked at me for a second like i'd done it [killed mia]" he is so ride or die for her let's all explode.

AND like i've talked about it before but phoenix and maya's reunion in reunion and turnabout is genuinely so cute they're both like oh this is the first time we're seeing each other in a while and phoenix is like i thought u were so far away and maya's like well i had to grow up right because she wanted to grow up and she is growing up but she still wanted him there for this huge milestone he's nervous about and he missed her so badly andnandnanndnand

niiick -> immediately on nickname basis. nothing has changed m-maya -> nervous and vaguely shell-shocked. formality of 'it's good to see you again' i didn't think you'd really show up -> mia was also a lawyer she was close to it's not that big of a deal + sooo far away -> silent acknowledgement of ^ that. playful tone. agh well maybe i exaggerated just a little -> relevant to last dialogue it was only 2 hours away -> vaguely hurt you're not allowed -> i need to be strong and big and grown up i need to do things on my own by myself but i still asked you to come because this is a huge milestone for me and i wanted you here

strangles self

[hyperfixatedcatlover]

The Beauty's Rebirth Chapter 1 - Casting Call

Alright here's chapter 1! Please don't hesitate on giving constructive criticism. Once again, I have no idea wth I am doing nor do I know where I am going with the story.

TW: Starvation, implied child abuse, implied claustrophobia, implied yandere behaviors.

MDNI

Prologue - Chapter 1 (You are here) - Chapter 2

"So tell us, how long was becoming a model your dream?"

You blink, and smile sheepishly, before answering,

"Well, it never was that much of a dream for me to be honest. It was just a job to get a roof over my head."

"Really?" The host asks looking shocked, "The most famous model in all the galaxy never even dreamed of it? How does that happen? Did you fall on hard times?"

You pause, having thought of a fake backstory before hand, one that hides the truth while revealing little tidbits. You aren't [Y/N] Ivy anymore, she died when your parents dropped her fake body in their living room for the servants to discover.

"You see, my parents one day told me that I'd be going to a stay with a relative on another planet. They gave me a duffel and shipped me off. It wasn't till I got there did I discover the letter in my bag, telling me that they never wanted me in the first place and I was officially disowned. So I was only 15, lost on another planet, no money or anything. I found my Mother Agency and walked in, as it had started raining. There, they gave me a position to model for them, saying they'd provide a roof to stay under, and the rest is history!"

If only that were the truth. That would be easier to bear. Then you wouldn't feel guilty for eating three meals a day. Then you wouldn't be afraid of dark enclosed spaces. Then you wouldn't feel like you can't be anything less than perfect. If only.

"Oh, what a truly heartbreaking tale. Do you know why your parents would do such a thing?"

I can tell the truth here somewhat more at least.

"My mom was jealous of me. I guess my beauty was always there, even when I was a mere child."

"And your father?"  

"He never saw me as a human, more of some ornament for him to show off."

"Some people just don't deserve to be parents." The host says as he makes a sympathetic face and puts his hand over his heart. 'At least he seems genuine for this.' You think to yourself.

The interview continues, going in a more positive direction, maybe you are not as good at hiding your emotions as you thought. Doesn't matter though, you don't like reliving the past. It hurts too much. It sometimes feels like you traded the stone cage from your parents for the gilded cage of fame. But what else can you do, you never received enough education to get into any academy, just enough to read and write well

"Good wives must have the skills to be their husband's secretary! How will you ever do something with your appalling grammar?"

"Mother, I just forgot a comma! I'm sorry!"

"Are you talking back to me girl? I should've known I was being too soft on you. Bring me my belt servant!"

As the maid disappears from the room, you begin to tear up, knowing what was coming.

You blink out of the memory, as the host begins his last question.

"Now, for anyone out there who want s to be a model, what do you have to say?"

"The standards for beauty are high, but don't let them stop you. Don't stop eating trying to get skinnier, don't spend thousands of credits trying to get clearer skin. True beauty comes within, it's a shame that not many people believe that in this industry."

The crowd applauds you as the host grabs your hand to help you stand up and take a bow, smiling for the camera one last time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In a shiny office with a model city's lights twinkling, a halovian watches the TV with a raised eyebrow. He calls his hounds to go dig up the grave of a friend he had never fully believed that she was long dead. He has an investigation to do, after all, no rotten branches can be in his family and the family's lost sheep must be guided home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On a ship somewhere in the galaxy, the only sound other than the video game sound effects coming from the girl beside him is the television. What it is about you that captivates the beast is unsure, maybe he wants to corrupt you, maybe he wants you to fix him, but something carnal inside of him craves you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In a lecture hall where the chalk board is teeming with mathematic equations, the doctor looks at the interview one of his students was watching in class. After confiscating the screen, he notices your face and gets the inescapable urge to sculpt it. It won't be anything like the real thing, but he desires it more than anything right now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In a gambling hall where the stakes are high and the tension is palpable, a gambler looks at the interview over the shoulder of his arm candy for the night. Seeing such a beautiful gem on screen makes him feel the desire to win her, no matter how high the stakes are.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In a living room with a few scattered swords his adopted son has yet to put up, the dozing general finds the interview on TV and decides to watch it. Her eyes stir something in him, a desire to hunt her and save her from the abundance, after all, she seems like the kind THEY'D try to steal from him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A trickster on a planet of ice and snow watches the broadcast with an honorable captain. Both seem enthralled in someway, but one is blushing brightly and another seems curious about how she'd look with tears in her eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In a dingy bar, a cyborg watches the static-filled screen show her beautiful face, still lovely despite the static. He gets that tingle in his metal bones that he got ever since he lost her, the one that said his wife was in danger. He doesn't know why he feels the need to protect you, but it won't leave him alone, and who is he to deny his emotions?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On a planet where a knight has stopped to refuel his ship, he falls to his knees seeing the interview on a screen. In his very soul, he knows that the woman showed is his lost Aeon of Beauty, and knows that he will stop at nothing to bring her to the Knights to be properly worshipped.

[hamliet]

"Pet": Pretty Woman, But Gay

So I read the Captive Prince series way back in like, 2016, and read the first few short stories and never read the fourth one because I wasn't a fan of the character it would focus on. And then through a weird set of circumstances I found myself reading this short story this past week, and it might be one of my favorite short stories ever.

I'm posting under a cut because the series is very adult, and the short story and series itself contain triggering content.

Ancel is definitely a favorite character of all time now, which is impressive especially since I hated him. But that's kind of what CS Pacat does well--she writes unlikable characters who are indeed truly flawed and not just soft babies inside, and then makes you like them by showing their development without completely changing who they are as characters. It was the main strength of the original Captive Prince trilogy, after all--Laurent's development still remains one of my favorite character arcs of all time.

So really, I don't know why I was shocked at what she did with Ancel. Especially because the whole reason I hated Ancel was the same incident that made me dislike Laurent: a scene in which Laurent uses Ancel to sexually assaults Damen. And I still do think that particular scene is the biggest flaw in the series, because it's kind of glossed over in a lot of ways. Admittedly, that's still the biggest flaw of "Pet" as a story, too: that the story frames Ancel's low moral point as what he does to Erasmus, which is portrayed as an escalation of what he does to Damen, when I'd argue it's the opposite.

Yet, seeing things from Ancel's perspective--how desperate he is to matter, how he genuinely has only ever been used and so doesn't understand why other slaves wouldn't even try to perform and enjoy the meager scraps of joy they get in life--changed my perspective on him. Not on the incident, but on him.

Ancel's a brilliantly written unreliable narrator, too. As confident and vain as he seems, he's all too aware that he doesn't matter in the court. As much as he hates Damen and Erasmus for the former's refusal and the latter's inability to play the role, it's really self-hatred projected onto them. We see bits and pieces of this seeping through in his conversations with Berenger, such as him telling Berenger in a moment of delight:

"I'd even sleep with you. I might even enjoy it for once." He stopped. "High praise," Berenger said dryly.

Ancel doesn't enjoy a lot of his life. But he'd never admit it, because he lacks control over pretty much every aspect of his life and so seeks to keep control over his thoughts by lying to himself. And yet, paradoxically, he's still one of the few people at court who is usually honest with others.

All of this is why Berenger is such a great love interest for Ancel. Berenger prizes honesty, but also freedom. He buys Ancel but refuses to sleep with him because he knows Ancel doesn't really want to, no matter what sweet nothings Ancel whispers in his ear. He respects Ancel's autonomy in ways no one else ever has, and he sees him as a person first and foremost.

Normally stoic "good guys" aren't super interesting as love interests for me. I like angsty tortured souls, Byronic bastards. But Berenger works perfectly in the story, and is no less interesting as a character than Ancel. To be fair, part of this is because everyone in Vere is insane and debauched and there needs to be one normal one there, and that's Berenger. Yet there's intrigue, too: why Berenger bid so highly to buy Ancel in the first place is never directly stated, but what he does say is that Ancel:

You took on every councilor in that room and won.

It wasn't the physical performance, but Ancel himself, his psychological performance. It serves as a metaphor for the overarching plot of the Captive Prince series, wherein the lowly and those who have everything against them end up taking on far more powerful individuals and systems and winning.

Which makes the last line of the story all the more fitting:

But if he wins?

Ancel may not be a pure-hearted individual, but all along he's showing Berenger that it is possible for those who have less to win, and to be loved and give love. He gives Berenger hope for the future, for the coming coup. And as we all know, Laurent does win, and I can only presume Ancel and Berenger live happily ever after.

My second complaint about the series is that the ending is too abrupt even if the ending line is perfect because that's my complaint about the trilogy too.

[hrodvitnon]

Just got out of my first viewing (spoilers so tag accordingly)

Yeah that was the most ridiculous shit ive ever seen and i had a blast lmfao.

--

To get the few negatives out of the way: Syclla and Tiamat got COOKED. That's crazy. Especially Tiamat. I had no idea she was in the movie and like choked on popcorn when they said her name. First onscreen appearance and she dies in like 3 seconds... sucks to be her. But honestly... this is probably one of those moments where Fan Content messes with the perception of a canon thing, at least for me. It hurts a lot more because of the emotional attachment from stuff like Ozymandias's story, Shamhat, and other adjacent stuff. If I had never seen those and watched her die I'd probably think "oh she had a cool design, but whatever". But yeah, my only serious complaint is her being shafted and I don't even really think I can call it objective because there was definitely an attachment there.

Ok besides that this might be my new personal favorite Monsterverse. Could be recency bias but I don't think so. Every human is at the very least entertaining. Everything Trapper did in this movie made me crack up, hearing Bernie say the words 'Discord chat' and 'Ghidorahstan64' (i stg this was a callout of some kind) onscreen gave me terminal whiplash, and although Jia and Andrew's story was sorta surface level, it was still endearing. I'd rather have a good human storyline, sure, but if we can't have that I'll settle for entertaining.

Here I thought Suko was gonna be an annoying marketing ploy to sell toys... I physically snorted in the theatre when Kong slammed him into that one ape. MVP of the film lmao. Mothra was... also there. Yeah, it really shows that she was a last minute addition. But DAMN she sent Godzilla ROLLING with a single attack. Speaking of, I don't think the Tia-Zilla form was as underutilized as I've heard people say it was. Especially that new Atomic Breath effect. Holy eargasm.

Oh man though, Shimo and Skar are fantastic. Skar hits the same beat as like a Celestial Dragon or Vladimir Harkonnen with way more grace than I would've expected from a big monkey. They go shockingly dark with his treatment of the ape-slaves and Shimo... especially with that female ape insinuation.

Holy shit poor Shimo, man. I honestly thought the Skar controlling her aspect would be kinda downplayed and just regular mind control, not genuine torture of some kind. I love that they let her have characterization by resisting him at every chance she gets, and that the pain control isn't always active (i'm assuming that's the insinuation of keeping her all chained and behind magma, it depowers and restrains her when Skar's not actively using her), further insinuating she gets merciful breaks from hellish enslavement only to be yanked back into it whenever Skar needs something turned into a popsicle. I think my favorite moment in the film is right after Suko shatters the crystal and the light blue luminescence fades to reveal her actual eyes for the first time. Eyes are used throughout the film to show subtle humanizing features, like Godzilla falling asleep in Rome, Kong's wide eyes when he sees his kin, and shock when Shimo realizes she's free. Having her eyes glowing the whole film makes her seem way more monstrous and inhuman, so when that suddenly goes away she starts getting framed as just an animal. Also her eyes are pretty. Also, I lied, that wasn't my favorite part of the film. My favorite part was Kong giving her chin scratches and that cute half-hug. This needs to be normalized. He needs to hug Godzilla next film. I will pay someone a king's ransom for this to happen. Final little detail, I like that Kong doesn't do his final roar from on her back but standing next to her, on the same level as all the other apes. He doesn't look to elevate himself over her or everyone else like Skar did, which is a great touch.

Also also also: Think it's time for a Doug solo film where he tries to steal all the Titans' food. Make it happen Legendary.

Much agreement here! I'd love for a solo Mothra MonsterVerse film to really capitalize on her lore and give her stuff to do (without dying at the end preferably); maybe establish some connection between the Chen family and Jia. Also, I need a little shot of Mothra going to visit Godzilla while he's sleeping in the Colosseum and just cuddle up to the big lug.

Andrews and Jia were a welcome breath of fresh air after GvK reversed Mark's characterization and Madison became... that. There was still some slight tension between Jia not feeling like she belongs and Andrews wanting to do right by her, even if it means possibly giving her up, only for Jia to go "you're my mom, you're my home, stop being dramatic". You love to see it.

Adding to the Doug solo film idea... Shimo adopts him because he's cute and she thinks his shenanigans are hilarious. Let us have fun wholesome times!

[tinysnailtales]

Thoughts from reading Yona of the Dawn Ch. 2

It's interesting how Hak views Soo-Won and Yona as an inevitability. He also sets himself aside for the two of them. And his phrasing: ""I've been watching them for a long time" – he positions himself as an outsider.

"I want them to be happy together."

But oh! does he look sad. He does not consider his own happiness or desires. He doesn't allow himself to. And part of that comes from duty and part of it comes from his genuine affection for Yona and Soo-Won.

And maybe...like Yona, he puts the happiness of the one he loves above himself.

Part of the conversation on selfish/selfless love: is it selfless to put the happiness of your loved ones above all? Or is it selfish because it puts your wants above all (if what you want most is for them to be happy) + because you do a disservice to them by hiding your own feelings?

But that "I want them to be happy together" over King Il's blood dripping from Soo-Won's sword– oh, it is so good.

Soo-Won literally slicing through his bonds to Hak and Yona (and King Il). Or at least trying. And while Yona is obviously not happy, though Soo-Won accomplished his goal, he's not happy either. (Sorry Hak, you don't get your wish).

We get Soo-Won vs. Yona, with the legacy of King Il between/hanging over them.

Also enter the phase of determined Soo-Won and wide-eyed, shocked Yona.

"What are you saying? Y...you're not...someone who'd do that..." "You have no idea." – Soo-Won calls out and emphasizes Yona's ignorance, shatters her world and point-of-view. All that mattered to her was Soo-Won and he says she didn't even know him. And after taking King Il's life, he leaves her with what must feel like nothing (she has Hak, but not here, and I don't think she realizes his importance to her yet).

"Why...? My father...cared about you so much, ever since you were little..." "That's true. And I loved King Il very much." Soo-Won not only shatters Yona's world, but complicates it. Shows her how things are not what they seem and not straight forward. Life and feelings are messy and tangled. Soo-Won loves King Il but still killed him. And love was what Yona thought she understood.

"People called him a coward and said he feared battle because he was kind. However...that wasn't the truth. Not a shred of it was true." – again, the parallels between King Il and Soo-Won: "You have no idea [who I really am]" + everyone's perception of King Il "wasn't the truth." Soo-Won believes what both he and King Il presented to others is not who they were/are underneath. That their kindness and smiles acted as masks. But that is just what he believes. I think he's lying to himself in saying that there's no truth in how they acted and were perceived by others.

"The throne is not what matters to me. I'll continue to fight on the front lines...to defend my brother and our people" – Soo-Won's version of history, like Yona's belief that her uncle died in an accident, seems biased and like it contains some false information. There's more to the story here. But Yu-Hon's assertion that defending the people matters more than the throne speaks to Yona and her future.

Yona cannot believe that someone she loves would do something like this. How can the Soo-Won who gave her the hairpin and the one who killed her father be the same person?

Again– Soo-Won shows her how things are not what they seem and not straight forward. Life and feelings are messy and tangled.

Her understanding of the world will have to be made anew.

"Why did you come here, Princess Yona?"

"I wanted to tell him...that I'd never be able to give up on you. I wanted...to tell my father..." – Soo-Won is shocked by Yona's dedication to him and her quiet strength and determination.

The contrast in their reasons for going to King Il hits hard. It's almost an act of violence vs. an act of protection, an act of revenge vs. an act of love.

The contrasting shades of Soo-Won–and he switches between them all so quickly. Who is he really on the inside?

"This is for the good of the kingdom" – words hanging over Yona. I know he means her death, but I think Yona + her life moving forward is really what is for the good of the kingdom.

"Did he hate me? For so long...ever since I was little...Soo-Won has been all that mattered to me. I never...asked for very much. Just seeing him smile would have made me happy." Aww, Yona. This goes back to my thoughts on Yona + selfless/selfish love and Soo-Won being the light of her existence. I don't know if Yona could imagine a larger existence, and Soo-Won was her guiding light. Now she doesn't have that and he told her she never did. And kind of like Hak, she was fine relegating herself as an observer–just someone who got to see Soo-Won's happiness, with him placed above her and her own desires. But did she allow herself to have any desires beyond Soo-Won? Could she conceive of any?

But after this reaffirmation of Soo-Won = Yona's world, we get Hak in an epic entrance. Yay Hak! Thank you for recognizing something fishy was happening (finally!).

"I'm so sorry to have left your side, princess."

Hak's entrance kind of reframes things– maybe she didn't realize it, but Yona's world has more to it than just Soo-Won (and her father). There's Hak too.

It also reframes Soo-Won vs. Yona to Soo-Won vs. Hak (and Soo-Won vs. Hak and Yona).

Poor Yona is so shattered and shaken, she even doubts Hak: "Hak...are you on my side?" She feels completely abandoned and alone. But Hak will show her otherwise.

"His majesty told me to protect you. No matter what happens...you have my devotion and my obedience" – but interestingly, Hak frames his devotion to Yona as devotion to the King. As something born out of duty rather than personal feelings.

At first, Hak can't even believe Soo-Won's actions. His view of Soo-Won is shattered just like Yona's was. "Did you want power so badly? No...it's not power that interests you" – Hak knows Soo-Won. Or at least he thinks he does. They have (or had) a deep bond. That's why Soo-Won killing King Il is so unfathomable.

Hak also displays his loyalty to King Il here. And his strength in battle.

"This country...has no need for a timid king" – what makes a good king? A question for the story to examine.

Where will Soo-Won go from here? He accomplished his goal of revenge, what next? What kind of king will he be?

Yona can only watch in despair as we get Soo-Won vs. Hak, two people she loves going up against each other. With her caught in the middle. And it is painful for her to see Hak injure Soo-Won. After everything, she doesn't want Soo-Won hurt. She is frozen and broken.

"Was the man I knew...just a facade?" "The man you knew...never existed" – another idea to be explored/a question posed for the story overall.

"I thought I could entrust her highness to you" – the biggest betrayal for Hak.

"The man you knew never existed. If anyone gets in my way...I will destroy them. No matter who it is." – Soo-Won re-centers himself on his goals and insists that Hak and Yona don't matter to him, that he's willing to sacrifice them. Keep lying to yourself, Soo-Won.

"I don't want to hear this. I don't want to hear anymore." – Yona shuts down completely. She cannot take anymore. It's too much.

There is a pain and brokenness in Soo-Won's expression, despite what he says. But this is the path he has chosen, and he is determined to stick to it. At least for the moment.

Just aww (and oh) what a moment! Hak!!

"Where will we go? I...during the party...my father was crying from joy. But I never got to thank him for anything" – Yona feels guilty for how she treated her father and regret and shame for not cherishing him more.

And I think she feels unworthy of Hak and Min-Su's protection and more so their willingness to die for her.

"We'll go anywhere we have to...to keep you alive. That's how we can honor his majesty's memory" – what a wonderful line of comfort (+ hug!) from Hak. It's like he knew the exact right thing to say.

And embracing her, I think he shows how his devotion from a place of duty is all for show– he deeply cares for Yona.

[minijenn]

Jen Tortures Herself With Every Dreamworks Animated Movie Ever: Trolls

So uhhhhh this movie. Kind of took me by surprise??? I went in expecting to hate this, thinking it would be annoyingly loud and bright and simple. What I got... wasn't quite what I thought it would be. Let's get into it.

The Trolls are a fun-loving, happy-go-lucky race of singing and dancing creatures, though they're constantly at ends with the miserable Bergens who want to eat them to get a taste of happiness. After escaping from the Bergens 20 years ago, the Trolls are thriving, until they're discovered by the ousted Bergen Chef, who captures a handful of Princess Poppy's friends, so she sets out with the perpetually grumpy Branch to rescue them. Along the way, they discover there may be a way to bring happiness to the Bergens and save their fellow Trolls alike.

So yeah, a very fantastical, fairy-taleish plot, one that took a few actually interesting, unexpected twists and turns. Don't get me wrong, this isn't a very complicated film, it wears its message of "Happiness is inside you" on its sleeve shamelessly. And yet... I don't know how, but it managed to... genuinely engage me?

Yeah, seriously. I actually kind of liked this? I don't know if it was because the emotions actually managed to hit or if I found the Bergens to be compelling antagonists/anti-heroes or if I started to really enjoy the dynamic between Poppy and Branch or what but like... fuck. Trolls is actually kind of ok? I feel like I'm going crazy just saying that. Like LOOK at that image up there and tell me that's the kind of movie anyone over the age of 6 would enjoy. And yet... I sort of did?

The movie, however, is certainly not without its faults. Its a jukebox musical and that's really not my cup of tea. The pop songs they picked for this are... tolerable, I guess, but hearing a lot of them kind of abruptly pulled me out of the plot so damn fast. Like I said, this is also a very simple movie, one with simple humor (save for a few insane adult jokes I couldn't believe they managed to sneak in there), and simple characters.

Poppy is... ok. She's kind of a bit too perpetually upbeat and cheery for me and yet she's not too over the top like I'd feared she'd be. By contrast, I really liked Branch! He's the straight man to literally all of the other Trolls around him and his dry sarcasm brought a lot of texture to what would have otherwise been a zany, goofy cast. The Bergens do much of the same, from the conflicted King Gristle, to the lovestruck scullery maid Bridget, to our villain, the insane, girlboss Chef, who just stole the show whenever she was on screen.

The visuals in this are also really nice? Like yes, its agressively bright and colorful but it works, I think? Like everything in this world feels like its made out of felt and fabric, very soft and fuzzy to the point that you can practically feel it. The designs for some of these creatures and backgrounds is actually really pretty in their own unique way? Of course, this is coming from someone who likes a lot of color anyway. If you like something a little more grounded visually, this probably isn't the movie for you.

So yeah, Trolls was... ok. Again, I'm fucking shocked, because I'd always been lead to believe this was Dreamworks in their peak cynical cashgrab era but... there's something to this movie that I didn't expect would be there. It's not fantastic by any means, but it has... some substance. And based on what I knew about this film going in, that's certainly more than I was expecting.

Overall Rating: 6/10

Verdict: SINGING KILLED YOUR GRANDMA

Previous Review (Kung Fu Panda 3)

Next Review (The Boss Baby)

[bookhighlightss]

Once upon a broken heart trilogy book review

★ Once upon a broken heart

1. Oh my lord he's just so fine. So hot. So sarcastic. If you couldn't tell already I love him. So much.

2. Okay um can I just say I hate one thing about Evangeline is that she has this "saviour I'm too nice" complex and tbh I don't fw that. SPOILERS AHEAD.

There's this scene where they are in a vampire's lair and she sees her ex lover or wtv and she wants to save him and jacks is all THIS IS A BAD IDEA DON'T FALL FOR IT and she obv like the main character she is goes like nooooo I will like girll fuck off he's a changeling nothing good will come out of this and quite obv he wants to bite her and jacks to save her gets his aarse bitten and shes like oh no I fucked up LIKE NO SHIT SHERLOCK YOU'RE SAVIOUR COMPLEX IS SHOWING but yea thas one thing that ticked me off.

SPOILERS ENDED.

3. Okay this book got me Outta my reading slump and it's like 300 pages so it's short and I finished it in 4 hrs so like I'd recommend this if you're like in a mood for a quick read.

4. The plot twists are twisting and it's so good with like the most shocking pcs of information and the way Evangeline pieces things together and it's just like damn everything's clicking now.

5. Lastly the " little " in front of the fox gets to me but the age gap is gapping ( iykyk ). Altho I think the book should have been lengthier considering the amt of things going on so it could be more descriptive but ig it's good bcs it's going so fast?

★ The ballad of never after

1. If I was crazy over the first book , I am absolutely psychotic over this book.

2. Okay so the first book they didn't have that much chemistry but oh god the second book made up for it in so many ways.

3. This is prolly the first book in reading which has the perfect slowburn like damn

4. SPOILERS AHEAD. OKAY SO the scene where he decides that saving Eva was more important than changing the timeline to meeting his love and not getting it wrong this time ...fuckkk that played with my heart like he knew he could never get that back and he was ready to still sacrifice his needs for eva only for her to lose her memories holy shitttt

SPOILERS ENDED.

5. Okay so at the end of the first book and the whole second book I felt SO FREAKING BAD for apollo I was like noooo I can't handle this triangle but thennn Apollo was like hehe I'm gonna be a little bitch so then I am so ready for when he gets killed if he gets killed bcs I need that man's head on the dagger desperately. He pulled the most heartless shit ever when eva went thru hell and back for him.

★ The curse of true love

1. Can I just say this book did not give what it was supposed to??? Like the chemistry just got lesser???

2. Okay the dagger scene was so hot tho. And the inn scene bcs damn.

3. Okay the way Evangeline remembered wasn't like SCENEMATIC enough ykwim??? Like I was expecting so much more and that was so less???

4. Okay one I'm more interested in lala's story??? Bcs genuinely what's going on there??

5. I HATE APOLLO. If I thought I was hating him in book 2 then it was loathe in book 3 for me. He just became so sick and twisted like it made me pukish. Kinda disappointed in the book but the last few chapters made up for it ig so yea

Overall I think the book needs HEAVY editing for it to give what it's supposed to?? Like ig the book is too short for such an intense plot I feel like Stephanie could've taken so much more out of this book than she did. And a part of me was waiting for eva to eventually become badass but she always stays the naive damsel in distress girl which kinda got to me bcs I'm all for super lit characters and a few things remain a mystery in this series. Like he's immortal she's not?? What are they gonna do?? She has magic in her blood and thas it?? They couldn't milk it further to make her super badass?? Overall plot is amazing but the story should have been written better

ALSO SUPER MEGA SIDE NOTE THAT CHANGES MY PERSPECTIVE OF THE BOOKS AND STEPHANIE GARBER

She's a Zionist. I just found that out when I was going thru Goodreads review and now I've got the ick bcs till now I was boycotting authors who are Zionist and to find out you just read a book by a zio just makes me sick to my stomach. I really this is a lie or sumn bcs I can't find any posts on twitter tt Tumblr and ig where it says shes a zio so idk I just saw a comment that said she's a zio and thas all so idk. Zionist authors immediately make me change perspective of the book. Was gonna read caraval but not anymore.

UPDATE did my research and found out she is promoting Sarah j mass who is a very proud Zionist among other things therefore it's an ick either way. Not reading caraval

Overall id give the series a 8.5/10

[roobylavender]

I remember watching dil lagi as a kid for the first time and I really did loved the drama- scratch that, I ENJOYED every second of it. Until humayun's character slapped her :/ OMFGGG WHYYYYYY LITERALLY JUST WHY

why the FUCK do the makers love slapping their heroines so much. You bitches love hitting women so bad I genuinely hope every single one of you die. This is the same problem I had with o rangreza. I actually gasped so hard when q*sim slapped sassi. Cuz that was genuinely so shocking to me it felt so out of character omgggg I could rant about this all day. And then the makers try to redeem him by burning his hand 💀 11 year old me was not having it. I hate pakistani dramas with a passion with the exception of dastaan (tho hassan can, like, go away)

the thing that irritates me about it is that the slap concept is built into a lot of dramas as an inherent arbitrary thing that simply happens in a marriage (to the point that one of the biggest dramas this year engaged in it.. before the marriage even..) but dil lagi actively tried to like. make some sort of warped commentary about it and how mohid had to slap anmol so she would shut up and not defame her own character but also it was bad bc by slapping her he was defaming her character anyway and he should've known better than to do that but also she shouldn't have jumped to conclusions and assumed he was defaming her character which subsequently necessitated her yelling about how he was purportedly defaming her character and led to the slap.. like it was so abominably dumb and unnecessary, even moreso because it was placed at the literal tail end of the drama to create the most useless conflict ever. the entire appeal of the drama and the romance was in the fact that mohid was as placid as a lake and willing to be battered by every ounce of anmol's hatred until she came to realize on her own terms how much he cared about her, and instead that moment completely ruined it and any romantic momentum the drama originally had going for it. in one sense ig it wasn't unsurprising for a faiza iftikhar script bc while she does have a tendency to promote progressive depictions of love every once in a while the traditional religio-cultural practices do jump out. but it was such a shame and really tamped down everything else i had loved about the drama prior

also omg the fact that you were only 11 when o rangreza was airing you were a baaaaaby 😭 i really loved the commentary on sassi's relationship with her father but the sassi and qasim relationship's execution overall was very odd to digest and that slap is definitely a part of it. in general it's sad how few dramas there are that condemn that kind of abuse, even if it only comes down to one instance of it, unequivocally. i think there are dramas that have condemned consistent abuse (kankar, khaas, both of which are ironically sanam baloch dramas) but i've yet to see a drama where even a single slap is rightfully viewed for the horrific thing it is. interestingly dil lagi tried to view it as horrific but there were so many qualifiers to the situation that the alleged condemnation of the slap didn't have much weight to it (and who knows, maybe it would've had more weight if this was a storyline they'd pursued in the middle of the show rather than the end of it. though obv more than anything i would've preferred the drama to have no slap at all bc it wasn't necessary to their relationship in any logical sense). i'd really like to see a drama where a girl puts her foot down for good even if it only happens once

[dekaydk]

The thing I'm proudest of from my time a while back as a pretty newly minted technology manager was when one of my team included an equally newly minted junior sysadmin who after a pretty steady first year, started not always making it to work. Eventually the moment arrived where he was the guy who had knowledge no one else did, he wasn't in the office, he wasn't reachable, and public chaos briefly ensued. Fortunately one of his seniors found his notes on the topic and fixed the problem but it got noticed by lots of folks including my boss, who was pretty hot about it because the issue was somewhat embarrassing to the team.

I started asking questions of his peers and after promising confidentiality, it turned out that they were all concerned for him because they had figured out that he had developed some kind of addiction problem. They weren't sure of any details, but they were certain of the basic situation.

When the sysadmin arrived the next day I sat him down and calmly explained the fallout from his absence, said I'd noticed the absences but that I hadn't been going to make a big deal of it until this happened and pointed out that he was letting down his teammates. He said nothing about substance abuse but admitted he'd been not doing well emotionally, I gave him the mental health resources we had, and he started making it in on time.

But eventually he started showing up late again, his quality of work slipped more and more, and though I'd kept quiet, rumors made their way to my boss. Boss was smart (but not good with people) and told me to put the sysadmin on a performance plan, but the message was clear: figure out how to get rid of the druggie.

I thought about the sysadmin and what might motivate him and decided to go to his home and talk the next time he called in sick, so it would be more me as a human being than his boss. Unfortunately the guy lived way out in the countryside, so none of his peers had ever visited, or knew his address. Our HR person was a pretty by the book type so there was no point in asking there, and this was pre-Google. Luckily I was close to the CEO's assistant and she got me the address.

I borrowed someone's car, drove out there (got lost twice) and found a kinda shacky place; lots of junk in the yard, completely incongrous with this guy's clean-cut image. One of the housemates came out, vaguely hostile and looking pretty out of it, and I just asked for the sysadmin. She disappeared, he came out looking uncharacteristically messy, and when he realized it was me he was genuinely shocked. I started asking questions about how he was doing, he was evasive, and suspecting his housemate might be part of the problem, I said let's go sit in the car. In relative privacy, I told him I knew he was using and before long he was in tears. I told him he was needed, wanted and respected, and I would give him air cover and make it work if he committed to getting treatment.

Long story short, he took it seriously and got things turned around. I'm not taking credit; he had a decent support network once he moved out of the place where he'd been introduced to drugs, and he's the one who did all the hard work. He told me later that the shock of seeing me appear unexpectedly—and as a potential ally instead of someone he'd expected would judge him—was a factor in his change of perspective.

I never told my boss the full story of what I'd done because I knew he would have just told me that it wasn't my place and I had created risk for the company and so forth. For all I knew at the time, he was right, and I was just playing the hero. But it worked.

[lushsynths]

This week has been so emotionally taxing for me.

I'm waiting for confirmation of graduation from my university and they're taking their sweet fucking time. I'm supposed to know by tomorrow, but I've been done with summer classes almost two weeks now.

And I feel nervous that I won't be cleared to graduate, but I'm also nervous to find a real job. I'm comfortable at my job and the pay is decent and I'm scared that my new job will suck, or I'll hate it. I don't like interviews, and I HATE talking about myself so I'd have to really up the bullshit in order to come off as someone who they should hire. I'm as hard ass worker and good one but it's hard for me to brag about myself. Plus, change is scary, but I really do want to get a new job at the same time.

An old high school acquaintance came to my workplace, and I wasn't in a particularly good mood to reminisce about life. I planned on playing it cool and just ignoring him, so I didn't have to make small talk. (I sound like a douche when I write this out oh my god, but I promise I'm pretty nice irl, we haven't seen each other in 10 years) Well he went out of his way to say hi and was really happy to see me and I was like surprised because it's not like we were great friends back in high school. We had mutual friends, so we ran into each other throughout the years. But I can't recall a time where we just talked to each other without any other people there. We had a little chat and as I was running around doing stuff we smiled at each other here and there. Anyways, I felt really bad because I could tell he wanted to talk to me, but it was genuinely busy at the time, and I was in charge, so I didn't' have time to chat. Later when I was off work, I messaged him on Instagram and said it was nice to see him and if we run into each other again we should catch up. Well since you can donate plasma twice a week, he came back two days later and then I felt awkward because I really wanted to show him that I appreciated his attention and time. I really did want to say hi, but I worry that I came of as ingenuine.

The next day at work I was working with one of my coworkers who's autistic and an acquired taste to talk to. I personally don't mind him now that I've figured out how to talk to him and keep things chill. But he found out I had cancer at one point in my life and kept bringing it up in front of the donors and I realllyyy don't like having a conversation about myself in front of strangers like whenever my coworkers try to do that I lowkey change the subject bc like...it's my business. Ofc when I can chat with them alone, I'm an open book but like not an open book for random people. So anyways I knew he wouldn't drop it, so I answered his questions about cancer and what not. And that made me uncomfortable to a degree, but what really sent me into a spiral was his comment about my appearance. I have a LOT of self-image issues like a LOOOOT. I haven't gotten on any apps to date or tried to put myself out there because of them. I also don't have any pictures of myself aside from a few my family has taken. My biggest insecurity is my hair loss and I'm not sure if it was genetics or the chemotherapy because my hair didn't grow back the same way as it was before. I think it's a combination of both but anyways it's a huge insecurity of mine and one of MANY. Well, this coworker looked at me dead in the eyes while we were working and was like 'can I make a bald joke?' And I was shocked because OBVIOUSLY I know people can tell I've lost hair for my age (29) but no one has ever mentioned it because I'm sure they're just being nice. And to hear it acknowledged by someone really really hurt my self-esteem and there's not a lot of that within me. Like I already feel ugly and unwanted it really hurt to hear. Plus that day one of my other coworkers came to me because she thought I was in charge and was like "Hey handsome can I go to break later rather than sooner?" and I was like "well I'm not in charge today but I'm sure it would be fine with X" and she was like "well I take back calling you handsome" and it was obviously joking but goddamn that hurt my feelings too.

I actually think I need to see a therapist about my self image issues. I just feel so fucking ugly all the time. I've started to workout semi consistently, but I'm so depressed the past couple of days. I take care of my appearance and practice self-care to like to try and keep my self-esteem normal but it's so fragile it's sad. This is delusion talking but when I went to message my old classmate, I saw he came out as bisexual a while back and thinking about how happy he was to see me and talk to me made me feel good like maybe a man can find me attractive the way I am now, but I just can't bring myself to believe that. Not fully, and I fear that if I ever get into a serious relationship that I won't ever be able to believe my partner actually likes me genuinely so that's another reason I don't pursue dating. God.

[gleefullypolin]

Oh my fair non-canon ships, I love them. My forever and ever ship is and will always remain not canon but I'm with you, I never once argued or tried to push it against the canon ships. What other people think of my ships is not my business and I'd prefer them do me the favor of keeping it to themselves, hah.

The CS angst was a lot, wasn't it? How many times can one man die?

It's tragically abysmal how they discount her isn't it? She's out there making the best of it and yet, people always gotta get themselves in a mess. Which is funny how everyone blames her for it like 90%+ of them aren't doing it where people can see and the other 10% has been to protect them. Okay then. I am eternally grateful the things I was doing at 19 are not on some list of unforgivable crimes I get held to every time something in my life happens.

Eloise, my love. You are decently self centered and I think now it's slightly harder to ignore. I remember thinking that in RMB too tbh. She was very cagey about what she was doing while demanding Penelope tell her everything. She seemed a bit put out about Colin and Penelope having this whole relationship she was unaware of like her idea of Penelope shouldn't have to change.

I do think we had Colin being more protective of her for a good reason not just as a set up to where he hurts her at the end of the season. If he hears something beforehand or knows something she doesn't, I think he won't handle it well. Bringing in book elements would almost have to mean some version of his reaction. He was so angry but so worried for her. I think Hero Complex Colin is very capable of coming out in full force.

Oh for sure, I doubt too many people are going to remember any of rumors or other stuff after we get a full season of Polin. I've seen some of the worst takes I've ever seen today, ha, so I think it's possible someone somewhere is going to write an essay on how she should have ended up with LOWK but that seems like a personal problem. I totally get why people might be unhappy about either direction but I agree with you, after their first kiss I have doubts about any of this infighting being a thought worth anyone's time.

I would say 95% of my ships are canon, I dunno I just seem to for the most part end up liking canon storylines. But I would never deny something someone else might enjoy. But I just don’t see the point in going after each other for no reason. Or in the case of what I’ve been seeing today, having ships on the same show attacking each other. Like I just honestly don’t get the point. Shipping is supposed to be a lovely thing that you enjoy that gives you feels. It should make you happy. Not cause grief and anger to others. I like the pretty pictures and the giddiness of all the fan fiction that makes the heart skip a beat.

HAHA Hook did have a way of dying A LOT but God he looked good doing it!!!

I totally agree though about Eloise, she was running around with a lot of her own secrets being very cagey but she was very angry that Penelope didn’t share her darkest secret with her. And book Eloise even more so. So going into Season 3, very very curious if we get any scent of her keeping secrets from her family at this stage of the story seeing how they are tied together in the book but also knowing that we could very well either skip into Benedicts story from here or go into hers next season.

I do think we are going to see a very curious Eloise as she starts to sniff out something going on between Pen and Colin. I am just not sure if it will be that she will try and warn her brother away from Pen because or her knowledge of LW or if its genuine curiosity of what is going on between them because I don’t think she has any sort of clue that either one of them would have feelings for each other at this point.

I want the scene where Eloise finds out that Colin knows about him knowing to be her in shock that he isn’t angry about it. And him being more upset with her that she is still angry after knowing for this long. Because damn girl, talk about holding a grudge, its been a whole season! Lol

Today has been a day of people being angry and floating red flags and angry feelings and sadly, Colin is taking a lot of the brunt of the anger so I’ll be happy for the next 3 weeks to go by quickly so everyone can get the season moving and realize (hopefully so) that they got bent out of shape for nothing. And maybe so some of the other ships in the Bridgerton family can be a bit more welcoming to the next family member up because honestly, that’s the whole point of this show I thought! Next season will be a different person all together. Everyone gets their day in the sun. There is enough love to go around people! Be kind!

[justanothergreb]

So I'm going to be a bit open and honest about fathers day and why I personally have really started to struggle with it in recent years. Mentions of abuse, abandonment, coercive control and just general heavy stuff. Also really long so grab a cuppa.

I know a lot of people don't really go for the sharing of your life on the internet but for me, a problem/experience shared lightens the burden and really helps me to process my thoughts (while possibly helping others). If my mum ever knew I had even talked about this she would be devastated. But I think its time I shared a bit of my story to help explain, well me.

I'd always know he wasn't my dad. It had just been me and mum til I was 6 and he just appeared on the scene. Mum would really kill me for saying this but I was introduced to a few people as a child, none of whom stuck around, largely cos of me really. It is true it takes a good man to take on someone else's child and the men of Nottingham just weren't feeling it in the early 90s. So imagine my shock this one wanted to. I remember distinctly two things - crying when she told me she was getting married ("but i don't want or need a dad" - remember I was 6) and at one point saying "I guess I should start calling you dad then" while playing in the old house.

It's weird growing up knowing that technically you aren't related to someone. There's like an unspoken rule at doctor's appointments you play along - didn't grandad have a heart attack? - you never mention the fact you look nothing alike (thankfully it is very clear I am of my very Scottish family). We played along blissfully ignorant, until one day, after a nasty argument at school, when someone told me "she says he's not your real dad". My response was "does everything think I don't know. Who the fuck is she to tell people?"

I went home and told my mum immediately. I knew what I was doing but I was 14 and wanted to know the truth. Mum was devastated, ashamed and angry at how I had found out. But the shock grew when I said I already knew the truth, did everyone think I was that stupid a child. Dad came home and tried to keep up the facade until she said "she knows the truth". I remember saying it changed nothing for either of them and it was actually a relief it was out in the open.

Mum eventually told me details on a walk to a retail park. My real dad had been abusive and I wasn't planned. Mum hoped that by keeping me, he would stop the abuse but he didn't. He showed no interest in having a child. She hoped, in a futile attempt to make him care, that by giving me his surname he would stay and care. It made no difference. I promised her that day I would never look him up - I genuinely had no interest to so it was an easy promise to make. It was however a bit of a burden knowing that somebody really didn't love you or care your existence.

Now, you might be thinking everything was great at home. Here was a man willing to step up and look after a child who wasn't his and love her. For the large part I had a happy childhood but it's only now on looking back you realise that actually the signs were always there.

There was the control of money; Mum wasn't allowed to work anymore and had to ask for money. She didn't get a part-time job until I was in secondary school to "make ends meet". Friends were controlled for both me and Mum - I wasn't allowed any friends over and they had to be heavily vetted when they did come over. Our cupboards had to be completely empty before we could buy any food and there was no choice in what we could have. The arguments, while infrequent, were explosive and often I was left with Dad after Mum walked out or taken to Nana's. Dad managed to help engineer a complete breakdown between my Mum and her family which lasted until my 18th birthday (although we all know my mum could fall out with her shadow).

As a teenager, I started to find my feet as well me. I got opinions and a voice, I discovered rock and goth, I met friends equally as unusual as me. I started dressing in baggies and band tight t-shirt something which went down badly at home, particularly with Dad. I remember a huge argument after coming home from a Saturday in town after demands I get changed because "your grandad doesn't need to see you dressed like that".

Every diary I've ever kept was read by Dad and on two occasions I was confronted with what was written (what can I say, child of the internet) and in fact one diary he took away and kept as blackmail for my behaviour. I've never got it back. I guess that's why I'm a bit blasé and share crap on the internet - I don't trust people to give me privacy as I've never really had it.

I was made to get a job at 16 ("no child of mine isn't working" - I was at sixth form) and again while on my gap year (which I planned to do anyway) and had to work during every uni holiday and pay board. Some would say that's normal behaviour until I actually spoke to my friends who were all largely stunned.

Two conversations stick with me from my Dad and I think both have massively affected my relationships. The first was a conversation walking to town, I was either going to uni or sixth form but the conversation sticks in my head. "You're probably going to end up with some posh lad called Tarquin who is a doctor who went to Oxford". (Some of you are probably sniggering or have gone pale). I remember being annoyed at this judgement. I was never going to be interested in some posho, never one who had gone to Oxford especially. I think subconsciously I had to prove him wrong and I now look back over all my relationships with middle class under achievers (a failed civil engineer, an emotionally manipulative failed civil service now masquerading as a solicitor who threw away his values - you get the drift) and think have I done this just to prove a point? Did my Dad's fear of having a superior son-in-law damage my own beliefs in who I should be with? Did my need to prove him wrong possibly cost me happiness? Or was he more troublingly correct?

The second conversation came after he and my Mum split and still rings as one of the most horrible things I have ever had said to me (the others from my Mum) - "I hope you don't walk all over this one like you did the last one". I was gutted.

My parents split when I was 21. Dad lied and lied about why he left, trying to pin the blame solely on Mum when in actual fact he left her for someone he met in Blackpool. Knowing he planned to leave her, he used a trip to visit me in Hamburg as a sort of 'goodbye'. Such a coward he left while I moved away and in a twisted way tried to say me moving so far away caused the divide between he and Mum. He doesn't know that it was me who found the photos of him and his new partner on social media and printed them out (my social stalking skills are elite. MI5 feel free to get in touch). It was me who unpicked the lies, had to listen to Mum's devastation.

The final straw and came in 2012. Having moved back home following uni, endured my graduation day being spoiled, I got an ultimatum. Accept her or don't bother anymore. His control broken, I cut off all contact and haven't spoken to him since. He tried calling me at work and received a cease and desist; Facebook messages have gone unanswered, his last being to casually tell me my grandmother died and could i send him photos of the two of them. Angry letters sent to my Mum, blaming her family for turning me against him and telling me I was cut out of wills.

It's interesting the only vaguely healthy relationship I've had is since I stopped speaking to him. It's more interesting 10 years later I've started to realise just what an effect he has had on me and my choices. Parents have a lot to answer for.

I'll end this sorry tale of rubbish let downs with the kicker. During the pandemic I received a message from someone who I didn't know but immediately recognised the surname. This person asked if I was the daughter of my Mum, using her maiden name. I knew instantly who he was and burst into tears. At 31 he had decided to get in touch. I haven't responded and frankly from his profile picture I wouldn't want to. Mum's taste in men it seems has always been questionable.

So are there any male figures in my life who weren't shit? I grew up around two of my uncles, neither of whom have set the best example with their lives. It's taken one well into his 50s to calm down, the other I despise. My granda was a scary man, more scary with family recollections of his abuse growing up. My abiding memory is of threats to my cousin of washing his mouth out with soap and his anger at his very Protestant daughter sending his granddaughter (me) to a Catholic school and refusing to put my school picture up as the uniform was green. My dad's dad never made me feel welcome and delighted in trying to make me feel stupid. My Nana did remarry a wonderful man who helped raise me and it is to him I like to think I got the best influence from. I miss him every day. My father-in-law is also a babe but his only influence on me is my growing love of birds and gardening (although certain I am the favourite of the three of us being the most easy to talk at - years of practice).

So there you have it - my essay on why I struggle with fathers day. A day reminding me of all the disappointments, the grief of losing two fathers (one by choice, the other by no choice), the questioning of just what would life be like now in so many circumstances and just general malaise at the many men in my life.

Thanks for reading if you made it this far.

[elpida]

"No. no it's.." she was wringing her fingers, switching hands. Truth be told she found it harder in these kind of tense situations, she never did find conflict easier but... it'd always felt a lot easier when she was holding his hand, her fingers secure in the strength of his larger hand around hers, that assuring squeeze he'd provide. It's why she was fidgeting, she couldn't hold his hand anymore because someone started shouting. Instead she was hoping fresh air would do the trick so she'd slipped out to the back of the building, a quiet and shaded corner, just enough away that she could ignore what was happening inside. "They're your friends too... you don't have to leave if you don't want to."

Eden made a small gesture back into the house but she was quick to resume the way she would fidget and pick at the skin around her nails. "It's more the conflict that makes me uneasy you know after.." all of it. She couldn't finish the sentence, instead she moved to take a seat on a hanging swing, two seated. Her leg was bouncing incessantly. "I think it was just a shock to see you but.. do you want to sit with me, for a little bit?" she still did find it hard to look at him, white suit and.. everything she'd ever wanted. God she should've told him how wanted he is in this world. If it was anyone else with her right now, she imagined she'd clam up, seize talking, be in that state of silent fear but... he'd helped her calm so many times before that talking to him and talking through that unease, was a hell of a lot more easier with him. "I wanted to text you." she revealed. "I wasn't sure if I could I umm.. I got invited to this thing in a couple months, a charity fundraising thing, you know, for the things I do to help reduce food waste and feed the community? Like the grab and go bags of things that are still good and would otherwise be wasted for, anyone in this town that needs it? I know it's the type of thing you.. businessmen do to umm... you explained it to me once, something with taxes and avoiding it, so I just... well I thought I'd let you know that I'd be going because I can't really not go, it'd make a big difference to a lot of people, I hope. There's an awards thing too and.. yeah. I suppose I thought it'd be the kind thing to tell you rather than it be a surprise." her smile pulled, just a hint of it there when she glanced to him. God, this hurt. Even the smell of his aftershave lingering so near, hurt. "I'm a bit nervous to go to something like that without you if I'm honest... you were always a bit of a safety net for me. You never let me make a fool of myself and I suppose... I suppose I'm a little worried that she will be there."

"He's always had a temper." Margaret grimaced, reaching across the table to place a hand over Agatha's. She could see that her son had tried. "There was a time where he'd just.. blow, like a fuse bursting. Always so hot headed, he was worst when he was in his late teens, the discovery of alcohol only made it worse.. eventually he got better but he was like a bull in a china shop once over. I did my best to help him with it, anger management, all of that.. I think him giving up alcohol helped but I can see he still gets hot headed when his temper is pushed." her look was a sympathetic one, what she did know was that he'd only react like that if he felt antagonised and to bring flowers so boldly like that, into another mans home? It must have upset him, and there'd clearly been a prior problem amongst the two. "He handles it a lot better now, it'll all be okay."

"I think Agatha deserves someone that'll protect her from college friend creeps like you James." he laughed, genuinely laughed. "I am possessive, but she knew that and you know what upsets you?" he smirked, head shaking. "You could show up with a million roses, they could all be made of solid gold, hell, fucking diamonds could shoot out of your ass every few seconds, but you know that deep down you could offer her every thing else in the world and she wouldn't pick you now, she wouldn't look at you twice, she didn't back then and she doesn't now and that is what fucking upsets you. You're not man enough for her James, you're a piss weasel trying to wiggle your lonesome little self in with flamboyant displays, pretending you give a single shit about Agatha's wellbeing, truth is you just care about what you can get out of her, how she'd be an asset to you and make you feel good about yourself, like you deserved something after years of being a friend. You know what a good friend would be? Happy for her, because she's happy, I make sure she'll always end up happy, hell I'd get that woman the moon on the fucking string if she asked me to. All you've given her is stress, you put a pregnant woman on the spot, you gave her pressure she didn't fucking need and wanted to sit there and continue it."

"You know what else I do as a violent man?" in one swift movement Cade her dragged him up to his feet, rather than being propped on his hands on the concrete. He made him stand so he could swing his hand back, clenched, and his him with a sickening loud crack across James' jaw, only to grip his shirt and shove him into the wall. He used his other hand to bring his face to look at him, his grip fierce. "I protect her and my daughter. Did you hear that part? My daughter, you think she's going to leave me and pretend to play happy families with you?" Cade scoffed. "You're not even half the man you believe yourself to be.." he didn't let his eyes gave away the next move, which was to grab a single one of James' fingers, the first on his right hand, and proceed to bend it back in one swift crack, enough to hear the crack. "..and now you're even less of a doctor."

"Now- ah, ah, ah. You look me in the fucking eye when I'm talking James." he used his grip to shake his attention back to himself. Cade had no idea of Patrick, he was so in his own rage he barely knew his surroundings. "I want to hear you say it, I'd like to hear the grovel in your words when you tell me that you'll never do anything to make her uncomfortable again, not her, not my daughter and how you understand that if you do... I'll make sure to crush the bones in every finger. I want to hear you understand that when she says jump, you ask how high and when she says leave, you get out of that door quicker than the goddamn wind."

Agatha could feel the tension in the air growing unbearable, making her increasingly uncomfortable and frustrated. On one hand, James refused to leave, clearly ignoring the subtle and not-so-subtle hints that his presence was unwelcome. On the other hand, she knew that the last seat at the table was reserved for Angelo, who had arrived amidst the escalating conflict. She turned to James, her expression softening slightly. "James, I do appreciate your visit and your gifts, but as I mentioned earlier, this was intended to be a family gathering. I hope you understand and respect that." Yet, despite that, it'd be too late. She set Angelo's gift down on the table, placing both of her hands on her belly.

Angelo, on the other hand, was watching Cade with brows pulled together. He instantly got the clear picture without asking questions. His intense gaze followed Eden as she left the room, the air between them heavy with unresolved emotions, noting her discomfort upon seeing him there. His decision to follow her was immediate and firm, even as he acknowledged Agatha. "I don't plan to stay, Agatha. I'm here to bring you this gift and leave," he said, his voice filled with determination. Agatha's curiosity was piqued, her eyes lifting to meet his, but she nodded understandingly. "Excuse me for a moment," Angelo added, not waiting for a response before he made his way outside.

Once he found himself alone with her, Angelo took a few steps forward but kept his distance, respecting her space despite his overwhelming desire to hold her in his arms. "Eden," he began, his voice heavy with emotion, his brows furrowed with concern. "If it makes you feel better, I won't be staying. I didn't mean to intrude or cause you more pain." It was painful for him as well to see her in a gathering without being beside her, without being able to offer his arm for her. "I know you don't want to see me, and I'll fulfil that wish. I want you to enjoy this time with your friends and their family. I know I don't have a place at that table." He turned towards the door, but stopped, a heavy sigh leaving his lips. "I'm sorry if I caused you any type of discomfort by showing up." His voice broke slightly, the pain and regret clear in his eyes.

Agatha's gaze fixed on Cade, and she began to take slow, deep breaths as she found the tension unbearable. When Cade snapped and grabbed James, her eyes widened in alarm. "Cade! No!" Her voice trembled with desperation. She didn't want any type of violence, nor did she want to witness or hear about Cade resorting to it. "Cade!" she called out again, her voice breaking as she placed both palms on her forehead, leaning forward against the table.

Catherine rushed to her daughter's side, setting her glass of wine on the table. "Baby, sweetheart. Breathe, alright? It's fine. He's just going to scare him off." Despite her reassuring words, Catherine's concern over what Cade might do was evident. Both women were strongly against violence, and the idea of it happening in their home was distressing. She threw Patrick a glance, and he was quick to respond. Without a word, he left the flat, closing the door behind him and wasting no time heading towards where Cade had supposedly dragged James.

Once outside, as James was thrown to the ground, he grunted as a response to his body collapsing against the ground. "Is this the way you plan to be a father, when you show clear signs of being a violent man?" He quizzed, body turning towards Cade as his palms pressed against the concrete. "You really think Agatha deserves to have a man like you? She deserves someone that will cherish her, someone that will love her and won't go threatening people over insecurities. You're a toxic, violent, possessive man, Cade. " His words spat out like venom.

[xiaowhore]

skinship hcs

kazuha

Surprisingly assertive. Despite his reserved disposition, he could be quite daring when it came to you; he made it a habit to pursue physical contact whenever possible, linking fingers with your free hand or tugging on your sleeve.

Unknowingly irritates bitter single people by his public display of affection. No, he wasn't really meaning to show off your relationship — of course, he'd brag about how amazing you were if given the chance to, but his affectionate nature stemmed from a genuine desire to touch you, not to boast about having a lover.

It could get pretty... embarrassing. Kazuha didn't do much grand gestures, but the frequency of his kisses out in the open was certainly unnatural. It's like he didn't have a filter, uncaring of what other people thought of him. In his eyes, being known as a doting boyfriend wasn't a bad thing in the slightest.

But of course, he did have some semblance of self-control. The smallest traces of restraint he had derived from the fact that, well, he was a wanted man in Inazuma, and he had to keep himself in check if he didn't want you facing any unnecessary danger.

There was once a time where he'd been completely easygoing, the memories of his troubles from his own nation slipped from his mind. He was as lovey-dovey as usual, spoonfeeding you at a restaurant packed with customers who were definitely snickering at your flustered expression, when he caught sight of a particular man dressed in Inazuma's style of clothing. His pleasant mood had diminished, the severity of the situation catching up to him all at once.

If they've come to know the identity of his significant other, they'd label you as his fatal weakness, and if it had been his fault you got hurt, Kazuha would never forgive himself.

The face he wore that day was truly one of fear.

He had to be wary of his surroundings for the sake of your safety, but you truthfully didn't mind. You were fully aware of what you were getting into when you professed your feelings for him, and if danger awaited you, then so be it. You could handle a brawl or two, and if it ever came to it, you were ready to elope... not that you'd admit it in front of Kazuha, since that was too humiliating and you thought he would be creeped out by your determination.

However, his overprotective tendencies could get kind of vexing. You weren't some dainty little flower, but your frustration led you to propose to act like you didn't know each other entirely whenever you were outdoors, just to make a point. You didn't doubt that he'd dislike the idea of it, but beyond your expectations, his face twisted weirdly as if the thought hadn't crossed his mind before. And it probably really didn't. “No,” he denied firmly, clasping your hand. “Anything but that,” he nearly begged.

Bewildered by his desperation, you felt guilt tear you apart. You hadn't meant to make him feel uneasy. “T-then you get it, right? It's fine how it's always been. You don't have to worry about me.” you squeezed his hand to reassure him, tracing the shape of his cheek. Wiping away the unshed tears. “They can't take me away from you.”

That day, you reached a compromise. Instead of pushing you away, he had to pull you closer — if he wanted to protect you, then all he had to do was stay by your side, right? He needn't worry so much.

(Besides, he was better known at Liyue as your clingy boyfriend rather than as a fugitive.)

Still, the path you've chosen came as a shock to some.

“Weren't you the one telling him to be less doting just a while ago?” Beidou teased, watching as your face flared to a bright scarlet. You cleared your throat, attempting to compose yourself.

“I'd rather him be clingy than ignore me. Isn't that normal...” you murmured, shyly fidgeting with your fingers. She hummed, wondering if Kazuha had seen this cute side of yours.

“But to go so far as to say you're willing to elope. Ah, youth...”

“I didn't say that!”

“It sounded like it.”

You groaned, burying your burning face into your hands. “No way, that's embarrassing... I was implying it, but if he reached that conclusion...”

Beidou observed you with a pleased smile. “I'm sure he was happy to hear it. Distancing himself away from you was most likely a hard decision for him, too. He must have been relieved to know you didn't want that either.”

“Of course I don't want that,” you grumbled. “He doesn't come home enough as it is, with your crew going off somewhere all the time. I fear I might actually die of loneliness if he dotes less on me.”

You knew there was some other reason behind his cuddly nature. He was always showering you with affection to make up for the times he couldn't.

Kazuha was thoughtful like that, attentive to your wants and needs. He knew you secretly appreciated his sweetness, craved for his warmth. And he was eager to please you every time.

“What's wrong?” he asked, confused by your sudden silence. You sat comfortably on his lap, your back resting against his chest, and his arms wrapped around your torso. You'd been chatting like usual at home when you abruptly stopped responding.

“You're... leaving with the others tomorrow, right?” you played with his hands, downcast eyes staring at his bandages.

He smiled apologetically, though you couldn't see it. “I'm sorry.” he pressed kisses on the back of your neck, lacing your fingers together. “I can't stay like you want me to.”

“Do you really have to leave...? Even when you just came back?”

He hummed, tilting your head toward his direction to kiss your eyelids. Tears gathered at the corner of your eyes and he wiped them carefully with his thumb. “I'll come back soon.”

Your expression crumpled into one of despair, doubtful of his promises. His heart squeezed in pain from the sight, and he quickly slotted his lips against your own, running a hand through your hair.

“I'm sorry,” he said once more, shifting positions to lay you on the couch properly. He hovered above you, kissing everything he could reach. “I'll make it up to you.”

He shared his warmth, and you welcomed his embrace; his touch set your skin ablaze, scattered goosebumps in his wake. His hands traced the shape of your body delicately, committing your gasps and whimpers to memory as he murmured sweet nothings to your ear, treasuring each second he spent in your presence. He only stopped for a moment to appreciate his work, fingers skimming the red spots decorating your skin.

He left his marks on you, and he wondered if they'd last long enough to warn others not to steal you away.