#if ppl get mad at me for this i think i will just lose my mind | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

delcakoo · 2 years ago

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enha giving you partner privilege ˖ ࣪ ˒ ‎♡⃕

requested <3

PAIRING ! enhypen x gn!reader

GENRE ! cavity inducing fluff!

WC ! 3.1k

WARNINGS ! being judged for wearing a skirt in jungwon’s

a/n: help i’m sorry this took literal months but finally feeding u all an enha reaction-ish T-T i took multiple long breaks between most of these so. sorry if it’s weird lol

LEE HEESEUNG !

if literally anybody tries to tease or make fun of this man.. oh no

he is NOT afraid to retaliate and tear them to shreds, even if it’s his closest friends or members <\3

when it comes to you though..

he just ,, LETS YOU ?!

and everyone else agrees that it’s totally unfair, INCLUDING YOU because you wanted a reaction.. that’s the whole point of teasing :(

but instead he just sits there with a dumb little smirk because he thinks you’re so cute and wants to give you a kiss as you continue calling him a loser 🧌

“hah, you suck. i don’t even play video games and i won,” you taunt with a big, victorious grin

heeseung doesn’t even complain or fight back, continuing to go past the results screen with a nonchalant smirk, “yeah yeah.. you just got lucky”

however, you begin to pout slightly, earning no actual reaction from your relentless teasing

so you try and push him further, “nuh uh, i think you’re just bad. but it’s okay seungie, you can’t be good at everything~”

well, that doesn’t work either

instead of getting mad heeseung just GRINS, quietly admiring how cute you look when you’re all cocky and smug about your little victory

aaand then everything goes downhill when sunghoon enters the room 😟

the tall boy snickers immediately at the sight of the tv, watching your character dance in victory, “nice one, y/n!”

you grin up at the younger with a wink, “thanks hoon, i must admit, it was an easily won battle.”

he laughs harder, “next time you gotta go easy on him,” feeling brave apparently, sunghoon has the nerve to ruffle your boyfriend’s fluffy hair with a mischievous smirk, “you know how hyung gets when he loses.”

yikes

heeseung’s once adoring expression turns into one of (half joking) annoyance, jaw clenched as he swats sunghoon’s hand away from his head

“really bro? 1v1 me right now then, i’ll kick your ass and we both know it,” he sasses, getting ready to throw the other controller at the boy

the speed in which sunghoon bolted outta the room in pure terror

you’re just 🧍

“no fair, how come you don’t get mad when i tease you?” you complain, crossing your arms like a toddler

heeseung’s expression softens again, pulling you towards his side of the couch for a warm hug, “s’cause you’re my baby,” he murmurs cheesily against your skin

“and ‘cause i let you win.”

“aw— wait what?” 😕

// PARK JAY !

the amount of privilege you have as this man’s partner?? lord

there is a lOt

you get excused for every little thing

even though jay hates ppl touching his hair he lets you?! and of course will make you food ALL the time

while if anyone else asks, they’ll prob have to spend some time convincing him for a while or bribe him y’know

but perhaps the biggest one..

disturbing jay during his naps is equivalent to asking for a punch in the face

it’s pretty much common knowledge amongst the members that it’s impossible to wake him up anyway

but if they somehow do get him up, they should expect many annoyed grunts and remarks and probably a middle finger before he inevitably falls back to sleep

naps are very serious business for mr park

BUT when you’re in the picture..

suddenly he gets all soft and compliant..

his members find this very annoying and you’re just like hah losers 🥰

at this point they start facetiming you whenever he’s napping because bro practically launches out of bed at the sound of your voice

“hyung, hyung wake up!” jungwon is literally shaking the older boy, pushing him back and forth on the bed

yet he is sTiLL asleep

there has to be some kind of sleeping competition they can sign him up for because god he deserves an award <\3

jungwon eventually gives up, calling for sunghoon’s help

and how does he help?

giving him a big smack on the head of course

finally, jay flinches awake, groaning as he touches his head, “what the hell hoon?!”

“dinner’s ready! ” jungwon quickly announces with a grin, “me and sunoo tried cooking this time and i swear, we didn’t burn anything and it actually tastes—“

“don’t care. let me sleep.”

“but hyung the—“

*snores*

sunghoon sighs, “alright, it’s time we pull out the big guns.”

by that, they mean forcing you to come over there in exchange for some of the boys’ homemade dinner

jungwon and sunghoon watch from the doorway as you tiptoe over to the bed, doing what you do best: tricking your boyfriend

“pretty boy,” you whisper, tracing down his sharp jawline with a feathering touch

and like that, jay starts stirring, eyes eventually fluttering open

“oh, so i have to slap him, but they just cARess his face and suddenly he’s rising and shining— ow!” sunghoon groans when jungwon elbows him into the wall to shut him up

jay yawns, “y/n? what’re you doing here?”

he reaches up to give you a peck, and you nearly coo at his raven hair all tangled cutely

“wanted to have dinner with you guys,” you lie, grabbing his hand to pull him up

“yeah but i was napping..” he protests childishly, making jungwon roll his eyes in the background

it was rare for jay to have his baby moments, but it happens !!

you continue rubbing his hand, “well you also have to eat babe, and i’m gonna be here too.”

at that, he sighs, but gets up from bed, stretching with a yawn

“hallelujah!” sunghoon cheers, prancing over to give you a high five

jungwon groans, “what would we do without you y/n”

jay is just 🧍

“aish.. you were forced here to wake me up weren’t you?”

all three of you make nervous eye contact before running off to the kitchen jungwon claps his hand at last, “who’s ready to have the most life changing meal of your lives?”

// SIM JAEHYUN !

jake’s a little shy about it

but if someone takes something of his he will definitely go D:

he does a little pout!!

and if it’s something that he absolutely REFUSES to share

like a straw

then he’ll be like “ay that’s mine, go get your own!!” in a half joking, jake way y'know?

but when it comes to you…

he cant say no to your cute face <3

everything jake owns? yours

congrats you have a whole second closet now

want some of his food? take the whole plate !!

he even calls you layla’s other parent despite being very very protective of her :(((

thats when you knew you’re extremely special to him !

jake’s just peacefully lying on the couch, waiting for you to finish up showering

when all of a sudden heeseung strolls in, humming as he goes to fill up a glass of water in the kitchen

as jake was about to greet him, his brows furrow at the sight of a familiar logo on the back of the older boy’s green shirt

“hyung..?” he calls suspiciously

“hmm?”

“is that my shirt?”

heeseung looks down for a moment, scanning his outfit before shrugging

“maybe. found it on the floor,” the older replies

jake just frowns

“bro, i don’t wanna share shirts with you! you’re always sweaty as hell after playing league until 3am!”

heeseung takes a leisurely sip of his water, uncaring of the whiney younger boy on the couch, “well too bad. stop leaving your shit on the floor then.”

before jake can give him another pouty complaint, the sound of a yawn coming out of his room leads both boy’s to turn and investigate

a huge smile rushes to jake’s face at the sight of you in one of his t-shirts just like heeseung, the soft white fabric overflowing down your thighs

“angel! is that my shirt?” he giggles cutely

“uh yeah, is that okay?”

“what, of course! you look adorable, c’mere angel,” your boyfriend demands with grabby hands, ignoring heeseung’s disbelieving eye roll nearby

“but when i wear your shirt it’s the end of the goddamn world, huh?”

you snicker quietly as you walk over to jake, letting him pull you in for a kiss

jake smirks, “mhm, now give it back or i’m eating all our ramen without you.”

“you wouldn’t..”

“try me, hyung~”

then he sticks his tongue out in his classic jake way 💪

// PARK SUNGHOON !

getting straight to the point here

when someone touches sunghoon he’s immediately on guard

he’s a lot better with those who are close to him, but he still gets a bit stiff and awkward

and with strangers.. he’ll just try and find an escape right away

this goes especially for his facial area

he will not hesitate to swat anyone’s hand away or flinch in annoyance if they try to pinch his cheeks or poke his nose >:(

similarLY to how sunoo was now

“i saw you blushing when that engene in the front row called you hot~” the younger boy snickers, “you’ve been an idol for two years now, and you’re still not used to that?”

then suddenly hoon’s cheeks are being pushed together, making his lips form a pout

“our sunghoonie is so cute~”

his hand is quickly slapped away 😒

“ow!”

before sunoo can even complain you’re rushing into the dressing room with a vip pass around your neck, running over to give your boyfriend a hug

sunoo watches with a pout as you cup sunghoon’s jaw, reaching up to give him a peck

“you did amazing as usual, i’m so proud!”

yeah

contrary to pretty much everyone else, sunghoon wants your touch and enjoys it thoroughly <3

in your hold, he’s completely relaxed; pushing his cheek further into your hand as he wraps his arms around you

“thank you,” he whispers with a cheeky grin

feeling playful, you even go to pinch his cheeks

and instead of getting mad the boy just gigGLES like a whipped idiot

sunoo crosses his arms, “what!? no fair!”

hoon kinda forgot his bandmate was there to witness everything 🧌

“yah, why’re you still there?” he barks, “shoo!”

you purse your lips to hold in your laugh, waving bye to the sulking boy who only rolls his eyes

you snicker once he’s gone, “so.. what was that about?”

sunghoon sighs, “don’t worry about it..” you raise a brow when he scoops you up, placing you on the makeup table, “now, where were we? celebrating how good i did, right ;)”

// KIM SUNOO !

this one’s a lil’ hard because sunshine is kinda bad at saying no and lets his members get away with a bit toO much

but he still tries to be is very strict when it comes to paying for things because why should he be paying for niki’s new pokemon game ??

of course if it’s his members birthday, an occasional treat, or maybe if he lost a bet it’d be an exception

but besides that he’s pretty good at not falling for the members puppy eyes and pouty whining

this of course isn’t the same for you

you’re literally the love of his life!! his partner of COUrse he has to spoil you and buy you absolutely everything you want >:(

sunoo will literally tell you beforehand to not let him sEe your wallet on dates or he’ll get upset

(even though when he becomes all pouty you only think he’s adorable)

sunoo would be doing his skincare

having the time of his life y’know putting his face mask on and—

“hyung, can you—“ before he can even finish, riki starts CACKLING and sunoo already knows it’s because of his green face mask ..

“you— you look like-“ he snorts, “the little green guy from monsters inc-“

sunoo slaps his arm, “yah, i do not. what do you want, brat?”

the younger boy grins, staring at him through the mirror

“so… splatoon 3 came out and..”

“absolutely not”

riki gAsps in offense, “why not!? it’s only like 90$!”

“do i look like your mom?”

“kinda—“

“shut up. go ask jake hyung, you know he can’t say no to you”

then suddenly

you, who was on your boyfriend’s bed waiting for his return, prance into the bathroom as well

“sunnie guess what!?”

sunoo smiles brightly at your arrival, pausing his ministrations to meet your eyes

“hmm?”

you grab his arm, shaking him back and forth, “seventeen is coming on tour here next month! we have to get tickets!”

he gasps, “really!? okay, i’ll get us tickets tonight!”

but then riki.. 🧌

“hyung, why will you buy y/n a concert ticket but i can’t get a game?”

“because they’re y/n and you’re riki ☺️”

ouch <\3

// YANG JUNGWON !

AWHhh won’s the cutest with giving you privilege T-T

there’s a lot of super small things that you might not even notice

like letting you touch his dimples, wear his clothes or play with his hair

you may not realise your privilege ‘cause if anyone else did those things he proBably wouldn’t say anything

because he’s jungwon

BUT when you do it he genuinely encourages you and gets all giggly <3

one thing you’ve definitely noticed though is how protective wonnie tends to get over you compared to others

he’s already quite protective of the people he loves as is

but 99% of the time he won’t mention or say anything if an issue comes up:

say an interviewer makes a comment he doesn’t approve of

some backhanded compliment to one of his members

or maybe a joke gone too far

he isn’t the type to say something rude in response or bring it up off camera, at most the interviewer would receive a very harsh glare and frown

when it comes to his partner though..

no no absolutely nOt.

you are his responsibility!! his person, his love and therefore he will not hesitate to defend you and fight anyone who dares to bring a tear to your face

suddenly his normal coherent thoughts of ‘it’s okay jungwon, don’t say anything, be professional’ FLIES OUT THE WINDOW BECAUSE no. he will not accept this

for example!!

one day you and won were going on a cute lil picnic in the park <3

you decided to wear a skirt for the heck of it, thinking it’d look cute especially with the picnic idea and the weather getting a tad warmer

so once you’re both out of the car, jungwon holding the basket of pastries while you carried the drinks and blanket, you were both pretty sure nothing could ruin the cheery mood

jungwon even complimed your skirt, mentioning how he thought it suited you perfect :D

“wah, i’ve been wanting to have a picnic all year. really, this is gonna be perfect!” your boyfriend says cheekily

“mhm, next time we should bring mauemi though!”

you wait for jungwon’s reply with a smile, but it quickly drops when you look up to see an old woman on a bench staring at you as if you’d done something terrible, her wrinkly face pulled into a displeased frown

brows furrowing, you follow her gaze to your bare legs, a tug of insecurity forming in your stomach as she scans you up and down

“..and the squirrels would be perfect to chase—“ jungwon pauses when he glances over at you, worry increasing as he notices your visibly deflated expression, “jagi?”

his eyes follow yours, widening when he sees the lady send you daggers from across the park

jungwon’s brows furrow, holding your hand tighter with every step you take closer to her

if it was anyone else, he knew that he wouldn’t say a thing; probably brush it off, maybe send her a frown back

but he simply can’t help the words that tumble from his mouth, “is something wrong, ma’am?”

your eyes widen right away because wonnie nEver has the guts to call people out like that usually???

ESPEcially not an elderly person ..

of course, the old woman only scoffs rudely in response, muttering something in a malicious tone under her breath

the boy holding your hand smirks in satisfaction and you sigh, quickly leading him away as fast as possible

“yah, why’d you do that?!” you whisper-yell

he gives you an obvious glance, “because i didn’t like how she looked at you”

jungwon looks cute 99% of the time, but at that moment with the harsh glare on his face, he’s a bit intimidating even to you <\3

you gulp, “still..”

“no, y/n,” he interrupts sternly, “i refuse to let my pretty s/o stay upset when there’s something i can do about it”

with that, jungwon places down the picnic basket and starts pulling out your snacks like nothing happened <3

“so, what should we eat first?” :D

// NISHIMURA RIKI !

sigh.

now for this boy your partner privilege is THROUGH THE ROof okay

the difference in how he treats you to everyone else??

literally anyone can see the difference even if it’s their first time meeting you guys

riki’s a combo of all the previous ones

lets u wake him up whenever and even interrupt him while dancing/gaming

definitely gives u all the pda u want but if anyone else tries it he may bite them

and ofc defends you withOut hesitation even if it’s just some lame joke he will roast them right back mf !!!

the most noticeable point though is for sure how a majority of the time he listens to whatever you say ON THE FIRST TRY

it’s ‘majority of the time’ because if he didn’t annoy you at least a bit that wouldn’t be riki

it could be something so small

sunghoon and you would be chilling on the couch, then he’d see riki walk in

“yah, can you get me a water?”

mans gets ignored as niki pUshes him over to sit next to you instead

“no, i’m lazy.”

sunghoon just rolls his eyes, meanwhile you were on your phone; completely oblivious to the conversation as you reach over to kiss the younger boy’s cheek

“babe, can you go grab me a drink please?”

bro SPRINTS to the kitchen without another word 🧌

nobody knows why he’s so enthusiastic to serve you but !!

sunghoon is tempted to call him a simp

or exhibit b

you’re at the dorms watching jake and niki play some video game

or at least. they were supposed to be playing together

but apparently it was a single player game and your boyfriend was being a bit of a hog judging by how they were practically wrestling on the carpet for the controller 😟

then after a while longer jake desperately calls out for you

“y/nnn he won’t give me a turn!”

you realise at that moment that this is what having kids must feel like

meanwhile riki gives u that innocent look as if he did nothing

you sigh, “yah, give jake a turn. haven’t you been playing for like 15 minutes straight?”

jake nods furiously in agreement

he pouts, “well yeah but..”

you give him the stink eye

aaand he passes the controller over without any more complaints <\3

jake lets out a vEry sarcastic thank you while riki wanders all the way over to you and plops down in your embrace like a whiny toddler

then he just looks up at you from your lap

“you look pretty today.”

jake groans in the background while you nearly choke

“all of a sudden??”

“yeah,” he replies simply, “i don’t mind giving up my spot to jake ‘cause i have a much better view now~”

what will you do with this boy 😞

if u enjoyed, reblogs n’ comments r always appreciated!

perm taglist: @duolingofanaccount @strawberry-sunset-skies @scented-morker @koshinene @boowoowho @sultrybaby @yunjinlvrr @lov3niki @yujiecho @monstaxdirtywonk @dekusgirl @taejays @kodzukii @yjjungwon @miou45 @rosie-is-everywhere @yenqa @rosenatorfirst @millsielovesgyu @syrxiee2 @ily-cuz-i @soobin-chois

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moon7jay · 1 year ago

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Okay- I kinda need you to elaborate more on Jay wanting to have a chubby girlfriend cause HNGGGG I LOVE THAT THOUGHG SO MUCH! Please 🙏🥺

ofc anon<33

You would literally be his comfort person. everytime he's stressed he needs your body close to grope and feel. Especially your boobs. Expect them to be used as de stressing balls :>

loves to spoil u with dresses. He knows your exact measurements without ever measuring u and that's something u love about him , he just knows things about u and ur body without explicit explanation.

"fucked u so many times, got u measured with the span of my palms"

Almost always ends up fucking u in the changing room of the stores he takes u to cuz you're just too hot to resist, the way the dress looks on your curves has him straining in his pants

The type to say "you're my warm up weight baby" when u try to talk your way out of sitting on his lap or face. Manhandles u in all sorts of positions to prove his point

Obsessed with smacking your ample curves. Just expect to be smacked and groped everytime u pass by him or are in his vicinity. Smirks shamelessly when u glare at him looking adorable as fuck (his words not mine)

Also expect to get scolded if u ever bring up ur insecurities cuz he's not having it.

"You're just a little more for me to fuck, in all the right places, it drives me fucking crazy"

The type to squeeze and kiss your tummy while fucking u, just loves groping your soft flesh so much. It gets him hot and heavy in his pants at the sweet noises u make for him everytime he touches and gropes u like a pervert. He IS a pervert. Asks u to squeeze your boobs together and show him when he's away from u and wants to jerk off. Has pictures saved of your sinful body for the sole purpose of rutting into his hands like a horndog at the single thought of you.

The type to STARE. And not just stare stare, he OGLES. fucking u with his eyes before he's pressing himself against your naked body, fucking into u with his throbbing dick. You'd be lying on your stomach, reading your book when suddenly u would look up and catch your boyfriend blatantly checking you out. Just staring shamelessly. You grab a pillow and throw it at him "JAY!"

loves fucking your boobs. Expect a lot of boob fucking cuz he just can't get enough of how hot the sight is.

Also the type to nibble on your body. Like nibble. Ppl are worried about hickies on neck, you on the other hand have to worry about the purple love bites all over your body. Most days u look like u have been mauled by an animal. U suppose it is true cuz jay's nothing short of an animal when it comes to u in bed. Just biting and sucking every inch of your exposed flesh that is within his reach.

He NEVER fucks u with clothes on. NEVER. He needs to be pressed skin to skin against u, flesh rubbing against flesh is a must for him for him to be satisfied. Needs your naked soft body rubbing against his own, needs it more than he needs air. That's why loves shower sex. Just wet and naked lust, steamy sex fogging up the glass doors, hot slippery bodies gliding against each other, chasing carnal pleasure.

LOVES munching on your cheeks, biting and nibbling on them randomly. Especially during make outs, thinks you're adorable as fuck and it makes him want to eat u more. Does eat u literally. Tongue buried in your pussy, head buried between your thick thighs, fingers kneading your ass while he's at it

"so adorably pretty ,makes me wanna take a bite out of u baby"

Never stops complimenting u. Never stops reminding u that you're his everything. Doesn't ever let u go on diets

"I don't wanna lose even a little bit of u"

Also please let him cook for u, nothing makes him more happier than cooking for u. he is so in love with u, he would give u the world if u just asked for it.

a/n: I'm so mad there's only one Jay in this world like how is that fair

#enhypen hard thoughts #enhypen hard headcanons #enhypen smut #enhypen hard hours #enhypen #jay smut #park jay #jay hard thoughts #jay hard hours #park jongseong

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bonefall · 12 days ago

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I’ve only seen glances of it but Tigerheartstar being so terrible to people this book neither surprises me yet shocks me at the same time. I can see him being a rude leader, but getting mad at his mom for helping encourage his kid to do something he and Dovewing did? Talking about how Birchfeather and Tawnypelt are being disloyal to their clan?? Hello? Did the Erins forget what he was up to in OOTS? That he thought clan loyalty was stupid?

I'm a bit torn on it.

For full context, I finished the book but im still writing chapter summaries over on my sideblog since ppl seem to appreciate them. So lemmie real quick catch up everyone on what happened;

SkyClan is in crisis again due to a poisoned river. They ask for the borders to be a bit more lenient, just so that any prey they chase over the line can still be theirs.

Tigerheartstar AND Squilfstar say no. Bruh :/

Tiger also decides to tighten security to make SURE they don't.

(I am choosing to interpret this as partially being his longstanding grudge against SkyClan, and partially being petty payback for how Leafstar responded to him trying to hold RiverClan together in the last arc)

Birchfeather admits his love for Ridgeglow to Tawnypelt, after her scent is picked up at the border and is causing tensions.

Tawny encourages Birchfeather to share his feelings.

This backfires and Birchfeather announces to his parents that he's leaving. Everyone involved is completely shocked and caught off-guard by this. Tawny absolutely did not anticipate this going down this way.

All of ShadowClan is upset when they gather to say goodbye. Everyone. Dovewing and Tigerheartstar are the only two who don't show up.

Tawnypelt goes to drag them out to say goodbye; they are huddled in the den, Dovewing is very upset.

Narration emphasises that they are being unreasonable because of Rowankit's death and that their son is leaving now.

Still, Tawnypelt points out the hypocrisy since they were cross-clan lovers themselves.

Dove and Tiger come to say goodbye but in a very overly formal way which is clearly cold.

Tawny walks her grandson to the border and continues to meet up with him when she has a chance. She even offers to relay messages.

Tigerheartstar decides (even interrupting and speaking over Dovewing) that they are practicing "tough love" and will not acknowledge him until he returns.

Tawnypelt fights with her son several times, culminating in her gently helping Birchfeather pass a trial and feed SkyClan by chasing a rabbit over the border. For this, Tiger calls her disloyal.

Tigerheartstar admits that his plan is to give Birchfeather the cold shoulder until he either fails his trials or decides to come home, and accuses Tawnypelt of overstepping her boundaries as a grandparent.

He's being an extremely unsupportive parent, here. Clearly. The narrative keeps emphasising that his behavior is fuelled by losing his child in the last arc, and that he had become particularly overprotective of the surviving son.

So, part of me enjoys the family drama here. I like Tigerheartstar because he is messy and biased. His position on Clan Loyalty has shifted in the past (oots speeches vs avos loyalty punishments for example) and he's possessive enough of his family for him to act very unreasonably when faced with a situation where he might be separated from another kid.

That said-- WOW he's acting gross in the later chapters. The way he cuts off Dovewing when she tries to speak especially makes my blood boil. He straightup admitted to Tawnypelt that he hopes to manipulate his kid into returning home with the same kind of emotional abuse Bramblestar does when he's having a temper tantrum.

Now, I don't think it would be in-character of him to just happily support Birchfeather shifting Clans, especially to a group ShadowClan has had beef with for several arcs. But, something feels off.

It's hard to accept he's not making a big scene about this, explaining exactly why he doesn't want to see Birchfeather go to his son's face. I guess it's not that I don't expect Tiggy to act manipulative, but he should be a different type of manipulative imo. The guilt tripper, the "you're breaking your mother's heart" guy.

I also would have preferred better buildup towards how nasty he's being towards his mother-- or at least a little hint towards which previous incidents were fuelling this.

The writers are notorious for forgetting events and details from previous books. Is this resentment coming from how outspoken Tawnypelt was against him in the last arc? Her comparing him to his grandfather, a cat she named him after? Her failure to protect any of his siblings? Are ANY of these situations contributing at all, or are they just flying by the seat of their pants again

In a nutshell, there could be interesting reasons for him to be acting like this. Still, it can be hard to read, and something feels a little wonky. The writing has my attention, but not a fully formed opinion from me as of yet.

#Tigerheartstar #Changing skies spoilers #In any case this is all stuff I generally find quite fixable in BB #Just some relatively minor tweaks #Shuffling situations and wording so there's clearer escalation #Re; I like this character the most when they are heavily flawed but still understandable #So Id prolly lean more towards better establishing resentment between Heart and Tawny #Plus having Heart be more outright dramatic-manipulative rather than her doing her canon counterpart's cold-shouldering type

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foundfamily-connoisseur · 1 month ago

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Cramps are krampusing so uhhh my thoughts on these dudes as romantic partners and additional explanation cuz why not

Explanation in order of chart

Doc Louis:

have you seen how much he cares for his boy? Absolutely doting and will always find a way to make time for you. Honestly the only thing you'd need to talk to him with is balancing time together as partners and his own time as Macs dad i mean coach

Piston Hondo:

super respectful and he seems very communicative and willing to talk about whatever issues you two may have in a relationship(although i doubt you'd have many). He's not as obsessed with his position in boxing as some of the other folks, which means of course he'll make time for you and would enjoy doing things you'd like to do(even if it isn't his personal cup of tea)

Don Flamenco:

He's a Spaniard. Love and romance is his whole thing if he sucks at that literally what is he here for. I think if there was an issue it'd be how petty he can be(less with you and more on personal vendettas/grudges with other folks), nothing serious tho

Bald Bull:

Ok ik he has anger issues and maybe it's the biases talking but he literally only gets mad when ppl are all up in his face. Only difference between him and me is I just start bawling when that happens lmao.

I think he's the only one with bigger problems in the "good partner" section but he gets higher up because if he isn't bombarded with the paparazzi he's literally chill. Nice sweet and domestic scene me thinks

Bear Hugger:

He would prolly rank higher but I feel he's the type to be a bit dense. Nothing enough to be a major problem but you gotta spell out some things to him sometimes lol. Maybe a bit more rowdy/"dirty" than preferred, but outside of that he's a 10/10

Disco Kid:

Just nothing remarkable tbh. For sure sweet and attentive but he might be coming home late from a party (and it really will just be him losing track of time but sometimes you gotta go 🤨 😒 and give him an earful). Only fault would be his overt friendliness that might lead to others thinking he's flirting and he doesn't get it till you pull him aside and tell him and he's like OHHHHHHHH my bad lol

Glass Joe:

I probs should've ranked him higher lmao idk why he's there. I think the only thing I could fault him on is his innate stubbornness cuz no way is that only staying in the ring. It isn't that he'll fight with you on everything but he has a few select things that are his way or the high way and it just he like that.

Von Kaiser:

Look at him. He is filled to the brim with issues. I feel like his PTSD or whatever we want to assume he has gets to him a fair bit. Again I doubt it'll ever escalate to violence but there are times where it really does affect his ability to communicate or do things. Its assuredly a talk you two need to have and something you need to understand getting into the relationship. Also please get him into therapy I think that'll help but he's 42 I don't think he believes in that.

Mr. Sandman:

he'd be a fine boyfriend for sure, maybe a bit stoic in public with the occasional discrete smile here or there, but his anger issues are so much worse chat. Like he clearly values his position as world champion that when he lost it he wrecked a BUILDING!!!!

Im not going to say anyone here would be violent towards you but that man might punch walls or some shit. More than likely just absolutely obliterate his punching bag. His obsession might cause issues in your relationship that could lead to neglect on his behalf. You are for sure fighting with him on talking it out but he's sweet outside of that. If I had to move him he might teeter onto the rank below but the others are just worse so he gets saved there i suppose.

Great Tiger:

He just seems full of himself. Not as bad as SMM but enough that you'd argue with him from time to time. I feel like he'd use his clones to play silly pranks and they're fine until one day he does it when you're super tense and you end up yelling at him. His biggest sin is just not understanding what's funny to him could be annoying to you. It might take an outburst to set him straight than a one to one talk, though

Super Macho Man:

Does he treat the women he's with well? Yeah of course! At least when it comes to spending dough on them. He doesn't seem like the type to want a relationship in the first place, and if he does it's very brief since he's always looking for someone hotter than the last(or whoever is the most eager). If there is a genuine relationship, he thinks that gifts can supplement any other aspect to a relationship beyond showing you off, and would get mad that you ask him for a little quality time once in a while(like shut up he literally bought you a Porsche what more could you want????)

Also I'm going to be so real here if he doesn't think you're up to snuff looks wise he's going to be a bit of an ass. Mostly it's just him being more willing to push you aside for events and stuff because he considers you to be "lucky" that he's even sparing a minute of his time with you. Then surprised Pikachu face when you leave

Aran Ryan:

Who started this list I'm sorry chat but his ass is NOT ready for a relationship. What you get from this man is an emotionally stunted mess who can't process his own emotions beyond anger, much less yours. He either is dismissive of you at best or if he loves you completely still sucks because he doesn't know how to deal with those kinds of feelings.

He'd be possessive but not in the cute way; someone can look at you for a moment too long and he's bashing their skull in. Like it can even get to the point where he's iffy about any male friendships as a result.

Additionally that man can't process emotions for the life of him. I just feel like if he's sad he's the type to suppress it and ignore it via boxing or literally anything else until it catches up with him years later. As a result, you can literally tell him your grandpa died and he'd be like "damn" and go on with his day. Of course he feels absolutely fucking horrible for you but he assumes that his way of dealing with his problems is the way you should do it since ignoring problems = problems don't exist anymore.

Obviously, this does not work and you just end up fighting/crying. Genuinely he just doesn't seem ready for any kind of relationship and I don't think he thinks therapy is real or is the type to say it's for sissys or something.

On that note he's got a bit of misogyny to him(his quotes are not slay girlbosses) that are only not worse because his sister beats him straight.

Would he cheat? Eh. If it started off as a hook up or something than I just think he'd forget he's even in a relationship tbh. If he's actually in love absolutely not he's got standards sometimes

Soda Popinski:

I flip back and forth on where I'd place him because he seems fine overall, but of course it's his vice that does him in. It's more of a matter on how much you think his soda vice impacts his life, especially with Title Defense mode where he's super serumed with it. He's absolutely coming back home every day sloshed and you can only put up with that for so long. It's a balance act of his good character outside of his vice and the vice itself.

Donkey Kong: that is a gorilla. Ideally no one wants to date said gorilla.

Little Mac: he's aromantic to me chat he signed it to me himself.

I JUST REALIZED I DIDNT PUT KING HIPPO SHIT:

yeah nothing remarkable to him. At most yall are going to argue about how much money he spends on food but tbf you knew what to expect in this relationship idk why you're so surprised.

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