#if nobody does this in like a week I’ll make an account and do it myself but I’d rather avoid that if possible

[hedgewitchnecromancer]

Hey does anybody have a Twitter or Instagram account that can @ The Tech Thieves, Besomage, and/or Meric Again for me? Their collab Beggin’ cover has been uploaded by some bot and only they as the copyright holders can actually get YouTube to do anything about it

Here’s more screenshots from the YouTube Music side where I actually found this for evidence

[gyumibear]

˗ˏˋ STUPID CUPID ˎˊ˗

“cupid, what you do to me….” | stupid cupid — nct dream

synopsis ── after your latest forum fails miserably, you’re almost out of an extracurricular! that is, until a mysterious account going by the name “cupid” brings you just the thing you need to fix your reputation: park wonbin, radio show host and your longtime crush. with the help of cupid, wonbin suddenly falls head over heels in love with you! you’d expect for this to be a good thing right? but no! everyone’s starting to notice how strange wonbin’s acting and now it’s up to you to figure out how and if you can get wonbin back to normal before anyone finds out what you’ve done. especially because “cupid” has disappeared… stupid cupid.

pairing — campus crush!park wonbin x journalist!reader

genre — smau + written. romcom. suggestive. love spell au. college au. angst. “strangers” to lovers.

warnings — hella swearing + crude humor (kys jokes). mentions/illusions to: food/sex/alcohol consumption. fighting (physical and verbal). mind control (what cupid does is essentially brainwashing). light jealous and possessive behaviors. use of pictures of yn but only for reference. everyone makes fun of each other a lot, but not maliciously. yn is a manga reader so spoilers for jjk, csm, the summer hikaru died & black butler. more warnings in the actual chapters, but please always lmk (!!) if i missed something. keep in mind: this story doesn’t describe the idols in real life and is written by a blk person so aave will be used.

playlist — stupid cupid nct dream. mutual butterflies ryan trey. don’t get mad wayv. cosmic red velvet. one kiss riize. love language hibiki. off the record ive. 2nite p1harmony.

notes — the taglist is open! (26/50) updates every saturday! creds to the respective artists for the graphics used! please consider reblogging or replying with your thoughts on each chapter!! it means the world to me but i appreciate spam likes too! you can join the taglist by replying to THIS post. asks will be deleted sorry </3… it’s just easier to manage for me.

profiles ── hate91.1 | public forum mods | specialz

act one let me monopolize that heart…

ᯓᡣ𐭩 ONE ── this week’s forum

ᯓᡣ𐭩 TWO ── nobody wants wonbin

ᯓᡣ𐭩 THREE ── chat… am i cooked?

ᯓᡣ𐭩 FOUR ── tell her the truth

ᯓᡣ𐭩 FIVE ── party ready!

ᯓᡣ𐭩 SIX ── byob (bring your own baby)

ᯓᡣ𐭩 SEVEN ──

ᯓᡣ𐭩 EIGHT ──

ᯓᡣ𐭩 NINE ──

ᯓᡣ𐭩 TEN ──

act two girl you got me crazy…

to be added…!

additional notes ── ah sunny back again with another smau! yippee!! um, i don’t have much to say except hii if you’re new round these parts.. i hope y’all enjoy because i worked hard and i hope this doesn’t flop? i’ll be sad. pleek.. pleek…?

early taglist ── @onlyhyunjin @pxnklover @glorism @nujeskz @soheendo @starwonb1n

2024 © GYUMIBEAR. do not repost, modify, or translate my work onto other social media sites.

[fdelopera]

Welcome to the 44th installment of 15 Weeks of Phantom, where I post all 68 sections of Le Fantôme de l’Opéra, as they were first printed in Le Gaulois newspaper 115 yeas ago.

In today’s installment, we have Part II of Chapter 18, “Révélations étonnantes de Mme Giry, relatives à ses relations personnelles avec le fantôme de l’Opéra” (“Mme Giry’s Astonishing Revelations, Regarding Her Personal Relations with the Phantom of the Opera”).

This section was first printed on Friday, 3 December, 1909.

For anyone following along in David Coward's translation of the First Edition of Phantom of the Opera (either in paperback, or Kindle, or from another vendor -- the ISBN-13 is: 978-0199694570), the text starts in Chapter 17 with, “In the morning, a note from the Phantom reminded that payment was due,” and goes to, “…'All it takes is an accomplice…' '…who could be male or female', Moncharmin added casually.”

There are some differences between the Gaulois text and the First Edition. In this section, these include (highlighted in red above):

1) Chapter 18 in the Gaulois text is Chapter 17 in the First Edition, etc.

2) Compare the Gaulois text:

Il lui avait dit cela le matin même en lui montrant une nouvelle missive du Fantôme qui leur rappelait l'échéance.

Translation:

He [Richard] said this to him [Moncharmin] that very morning, while showing him a new letter from the Phantom which reminded them that payment was due.

To the First Edition:

Le matin, une missive du fantôme qui leur rappelait l'échéance.

Translation:

That morning, a letter from the Phantom reminded them that payment was due.

3) “mam’ Giry” in the Gaulois became “Mame Giry” in the First Edition. Both mean roughly Ma Giry, or Mama Giry.

4) When Leroux rewrote “Mme Giry’s Astonishing Revelations” for his First Edition, he added in a number of details that are absent from the Gaulois text. I have indicated where these additional passages exist using Coward’s translation.

Regarding Mme Giry’s dialogue, Coward translates her words using Cockney speech patterns, making her sound much more affected than she does in Leroux’s text. So, please take Coward’s translation with several grains of salt in this instance. To be sure, Mme Giry doesn’t speak with a “posh” accent, but she isn’t at the level of “Ello gov'na!” either.

5) This passage was added to the First Edition:

Begin (Coward translation): “Are you still on good terms with the Phantom?”

End: “I’ll have you know that nobody’s ever had any doubts on that score!”

6) Leroux reworked this passage in the First Edition, expanding on the Managers’ interactions with Mme Giry. In the Gaulois, this section reads:

“I am going to have you arrested, Mme Giry, as a thief!”

Incredibly, Mama Giry suddenly seemed to calm down.

“If that’s on account of the twenty thousand francs,” she said, almost serenely, “you, Monsieur Richard, you should know better than me where they got to, those twenty thousand francs!”

In the First Edition, Leroux added this extended section:

Begin (Coward translation): The two black feathers on her shabby hat, which usually looked like question marks, immediately changed into exclamation marks, while the hat itself wobbled wildly, threatening the frayed chignon beneath.

End: “And another thing, M. Richard, you should know better than me what happened to them twenty thousand francs!”

7) Leroux added another section in his First Edition, immediately after Richard’s line: “Me?” said Richard, looked stunned. “And how should I know?”

Begin (Coward translation): But Moncharmin, suddenly grave and looking worried, wanted her to explain.

End: “Why do I know better than you about what happened to the twenty thousand francs? Tell me!”

8) Another extended section added to the First Edition, starting after: “Because they ended up in your pocket!…” gulped the old woman, staring at him as if he were the Devil in person.

Begin (Coward translation): It was now M. Richard’s turn to be blasted by this bolt from the blue and then withered by M. Moncharmin’s increasingly suspicious eye.

End: “I never said no such thing!” said Mme Giry, “seeing as how it was me in person that put the money in M. Richard’s pocket!”

9) Compare the Gaulois text:

Pardon ! Pardon ! Pardon ! Laisse cette femme s'expliquer !

Translation:

“Please! Please! Please! Let the woman explain!”

To the First Edition:

Pardon ! Pardon ! Pardon ! Laisse cette femme s'expliquer ! Laisse-moi l'interroger. 

Translation:

“Please! Please! Please! Let the woman explain! Let me question her.”

10) Compare the Gaulois text:

Mais Richard qui touche à l'apoplexie :

— Moi ! j'aurais mis les vingt mille francs dans ma poche ! Tu veux que je lui laisse dire cela !

Translation:

But Richard, who was becoming apoplectic, said:

“Me! I put the twenty thousand francs in my pocket! You want me to allow her say such things?”

To the First Edition:

Et il [Moncharmin] ajoute :

« Il est vraiment étrange que tu le prennes sur un ton pareil !… Nous touchons au moment où tout ce mystère va s'éclaircir ! Tu es furieux ! Tu as tort… Moi, je m'amuse beaucoup. »

Translation:

And he [Moncharmin] added:

“It’s truly odd that you are behaving in such a manner!... We are nearing the moment where this whole mystery shall be cleared up! You are furious! You are misguided… As for me, I’m rather enjoying myself.”

11) Compare the Gaulois text:

Je n'ai pas pu dire cela ! déclare-t-elle, attendu que c'était moi qui mettais, en personne, les vingt mille francs dans la poche de M. Richard ! si toutefois il y avait vingt mille francs dans l'enveloppe ; car moi, je le répète, je n'en savais rien… Ni M. Richard plus, du reste !

Translation:

“I couldn’t say that!” she proclaimed, “since it was me that personally put the twenty thousand francs in M. Richard’s pocket! If indeed there were twenty thousand francs in the envelope; for I, I repeat, I knew nothing about that... Nor did M. Richard, neither!”

To the First Edition:

Vous me dites qu'il y avait vingt mille francs dans l'enveloppe que je mettais dans la poche de M. Richard, mais, moi je le répète, je n'en savais rien… Ni M. Richard non plus, du reste !

Translation:

“You say there were twenty thousand francs in the envelope that I put in M. Richard’s pocket, but I, I repeat, I knew nothing about that… Nor did M. Richard, neither!”

12) Compare the Gaulois text:

Quant à celle que je déposais dans la loge du fantôme, c'était une autre enveloppe exactement pareille, et que j'avais, toute préparée, dans ma manche.

Translation:

“As for the one that I put in the Phantom’s box, it was another envelope that was exactly the same, which I had all ready up my sleeve.”

To the First Edition:

Quant à celle que je déposais dans la loge du fantôme, c'était une autre enveloppe exactement pareille, et que j'avais, toute préparée, dans ma manche, et qui m'était donnée par le fantôme !

Translation:

“As for the one that I put in the Phantom’s box, it was another envelope that was exactly the same, which I had all ready up my sleeve, and which was given to me by the Phantom!”

13) Compare the Gaulois text:

Ce disant, mame Giry sort de sa poche …

Translation:

Having said this, Mama Giry pulled from her pocket …

To the First Edition:

Ce disant, Mame Giry sort de sa manche …

Translation:

Having said this, Mama Giry pulled from her sleeve …

14) Compare the Gaulois text:

MM. les directeurs s'en emparent. Ils l'ouvrent…

Translation:

The Managers grabbed it. They opened it…

To the First Edition:

MM. les directeurs s'en emparent. Ils l'examinent, ils constatent que des cachets cachetés de leur propre cachet directorial, la ferment. Ils l'ouvrent…

Translation:

The Managers grabbed it. They examined it, and noted that a seal stamped with their own managerial seal closed it. They opened it…

15) Minor differences in punctuation.

Click here to see the entire edition of Le Gaulois from 3 December, 1909. This link brings you to page 3 of the newspaper — Le Fantôme is at the bottom of the page in the feuilleton section. Click on the arrow buttons at the bottom of the screen to turn the pages of the newspaper, and click on the Zoom button at the bottom left to magnify the text.

[quinnysnursery]

a message to 🎀 anon- since we're posting about each other now. not agere friendly !

let me start by saying, i’m not the one. won’t be the two, and have no plans of ever being the three. it’s quite obvious to me that this girl has never been stepped tf up too in her entire life- so allow me to be the first person to put you in your place ari. 

this morning i awoke to a lovely little dm from one of my followers informing me that ari was once again, posting about me on her wattpad. now this isn’t the first time, there has been plenty of times she’s thrown strays at me on her conversation tab- which i’ve also been notified of- but that quite honestly doesn’t affect me. if she needs to stomp her feet and cry, i’m all for emotional regulation.

however what does affect me is posting a MULTIPLE PARAGRAPH LONG CHAPTER about me, aus and lilah- completely lying about the situation. here’s the link to said chapter if y’all wanna read- but be warned, 99.9% of it is a lie. 

so let’s kick it off with lie number 1. we were not friends. i can understand how to ari- someone whose social life clearly doesn’t extend far outside of social media- you could’ve considered us friends. but I did not. will you be able to find posts of me calling her my friend once or twice? yes. because i previously used the word “friend” and “mutual” interchangeably, which i will admit fault too.

let me make something very clear right now. if I do not direct message you at least once a week, check up on you on my own free will or have called you/invited you into my home- we are not friends. sorry, not sorry.

lilah wrote a chratt au, a popular fic on here and made it explicitly clear that chris and matt were NOT together in it, they were just both dating the reader. again, a very popular and easy to wrap your head around concept. 

ari’s exact response to this, was this message.

this upset me, because i myself am poly- and felt it was an unnecessary and rude comment to make. you would not make it about any other type of relationship, so why make it about poly ones?

my ACTUAL friend- whom I’ve met in person more than once and speak to everyday- willow (@willowsito), explained that to them in these screenshots. 

ari repeatedly doubled down, not apologizing for her polyphobic opinion.

she then came crying to me, saying she was being “slaughtered like a pig” and that if i wanted her instagram, i could have it- but she was done with Tumblr. (despite the fact she’s also admitted on her conversations tab to have checked my account even after deactivating, but I’ll digress.)

we had the following conversation.

mind you, this was on thanksgiving- i was trying to eat my turkey!!

now onto lie number 2. “made up lies about me, and claimed I was racist.”

we have never, EVER, made up a lie about you ari. you are racist. as proven in THIS screenshot and in your words: “-i think because the mf who wrote the story was hispanic or something.”  

onto lie number 3. nobody except ari- asked about ari. i am almost 99.9% sure of this fact. even if this isn't 100% true, i know for a fact that ari sent me a HEAP of anons- asking “what did 🎀 anon do??”.

i, not wanting to drag her name even more, decided not to say because she DID know! BECAUSE WE TALKED ABOUT IT PRIVATELY!! WHY WOULD IT BE ANYONE ELSE’S BUSINESS??

i even took the liberty to say, don’t send her hate- and i hope she grows. because i do believe that everyone in capable of growth, and i do wish that for her- even still. i’m not sure why she’s mad i won’t drag her name on my public, very popular, account- but since she wants me too- i suppose i will now. 

did we go onto her wattpad and confront her because she was lying about the situation? yes! however we did that, because SHE SPOKE ABOUT US FIRST! AND CAME ONTO MY WATTPAD’S CONVERSATION TAB SAYING “i don’t want you to be a distant memory” like mf is this a telenovela?? 

she then blocked us all on wattpad after it was obvious she had no valid argument against us. 

lie 5. Or- partly a lie, because I can’t speak for anyone other than myself- but i never sent her anonymous hate. because as i told her when she accused me of making a community JUST to hate her (which didn’t happen, because…not worth it😭)- i’m 18 years old, i don’t have time for that.

apparently, according to her, everyone else in the demographic thought she was in the right. …yeah, I’ll let the crickets speak for themselves! 

“1 down, 2 to go.” ari, this one is just for you. i don’t know what happened in your life to make lash out this way. i don’t know who hurt you, how they hurt you or what. what I do know, is that you hurt me- refused to change your behavior- and then got mad when people who were hurt by your behavior decided to no longer be associated with you.

if we were friends, as you claim, that’s not how you treat friends.

~ quinny.

[catchyhuh]

pretend that picture of patrick star saying i love you is here

people in general are so specific with when they think it's “okay” to say i love you. i mean i’ll tell a nice leaf on the ground i love it if i’m in a good enough mood but you’re not here for ME so let’s DISCUSS

lupin:

demonstrably loose with it. and it’s anybody’s guess if he’s being an asshole or he really means it!

lupin should have trust issues, by all accounts, but i guess considering the person he loves the most is. almost damn near guaranteed to betray that trust, he doesn’t worry too much about wearing his heart on his sleeve. nobody can really hurt him, at least nobody that would intend to

it’s not so much that lupin is actually full of love so much as it’s the fact that he’s just so full with EVERYTHING. he’s dramatic like that

he does mean it when he says it sometimes, and if you use context clues you can probably pick up on his sincerity for the person he’s speaking to, but when he really, REALLY means it is when he’s not talking at all

he talks so much without really saying anything, but when he stays quiet he says a whole lot.  sometimes he thinks it so loudly he almost feels like the other person can hear it even if they have no idea at all

jigen:

not to be overdramatic but since the age of 12, every time jigen has said i love you he’s been crying. and he doesn’t cry a whole lot nowadays!

we KNOW this bitch has trust issues out the wazoo but more than that it’s that he doesn’t trust the intensity of his feelings. he feels like he can only say it if he’s referring to some huge, overpowering love that just kind of bursts out of him into a declaration that leaves even him surprised after the fact

he’s never said it to lupin. not when lupin could hear him, and even then, it was only twice in the whole time they’ve known each other. he’s not even purposefully being cagey, he just… doesn’t feel like it’s right

if you asked him “do you love lupin and goemon?” he’d make a bit of a face and shrug and say “well, i care if that’s what you mean.” which… is kind of the same thing when you think about it

fujiko:

fujiko is not particularly guarded about saying i love you, since it’s… just words, you know? but she’s never said it to somebody she straight up doesn’t like. she won’t even go along for the bit of trying to fool some rich boyfriend of the week, she just pretends to giggle and dodges it

fujiko does have love to give within her, but she seems to think it’s a finite amount

so, again, context clues play into it-- is she getting something she wants when she says it to someone, or is she hugging them in delight at the fact that they’re just alive and in front of her? 

unknowingly shows love in actions more than anything else. beyond instances of her physically attempting to protect others, it shows when she thinks of others' comfort in advance, or when she faintly touches someone’s back to signify that she’s in the room. even just a smile at some inanimate object associated with someone just feels full of love that she refuses to fully acknowledge but there’s A LOT… you just have to EARN it! and you can! 

just! not by doing anything a lot of people have tried so far! 

goemon:

being as strictly traditional as he is, he’s not… guarded about it, really, but he doesn’t “believe” in saying it excessively, if that makes sense. 

like fujiko, he seems to have this subconscious thing where he’s full of love, SO much love for so many things, really, but he can only give it out selectively. not for his sake, though, but because he feels like if too many people have his love then it must make them feel lesser, sharing it with so many others

yes they’re all very strange about this no none of them will ever address it within their lifetimes if they can help it

whenever it does come out, it almost seems involuntary, like a hiccup or something. like it wasn’t a conscious choice to do so, EVEN THOUGH HE DOES MEAN IT

you could not force goemon to say it without meaning it. you couldn’t torture it out of him. he’s not gonna lie about something like LOVE, because despite how often he seems to fall into it, he still never seems to say it

one time he got sick, VERY sick, and uncharacteristically emotional as a result of the constant fever and aching and nausea and everything else, and it came out while the other three were in the living room, jigen standing by his couch putting a washcloth on his head. jigen just nodded and gave him a sympathetic smile, and they all continued on like nothing had happened afterwards. not because they didn’t believe him, they all did-- but because they knew he’d be ashamed for years in his normal state if he knew he’d done that

zenigata:

the thing is. see the thing is. well. there’s just so much of it and he doesn’t really do good with getting it out

in his head he’ll say i love you over something as simple as him being obviously exhausted and a stranger offering him a bottle of water. if he’s delirious enough he might even mumble it but it's so hard to decipher that they’re like it’s ok bud. it’s ok.

it’s partially the small part of him that somehow remembers after all this time how to generally interact with other people, and partially maybe embarrassment. not really a trust issue thing, just. it feels embarrassing to say it no matter the context, no matter how much he means it, no matter HOW he means it

the funny thing though is that he used to NEVER say it. like ever. but he’s. a lot more sensitive than he was then. it’s like the opposite of being hardened with time how’d that even happen?? point being he’s got more love in him now despite everything

maybe the only one out of them that could say it completely sober, completely sane, to the other person’s face and really fully mean it. to him, that’s the best way to get that across easily anyway. sometimes you don’t have time to show things through elaborate rescues and meticulously made meals, so the quickest way to show love is to just be honest and say it

sure says it a lot if he’s drunk though! almost like he was thinking it before anyways and now he’s just lost his filter!! wild!

[phoenixyfriend]

if you’re doing the fanfic trope mash up, can i suggest 42 and 56 for jangosoka?

Fanfiction Trope MASH-UP: Send me two (2) tropes from this list + a ship and I’ll describe how I’d combine them in the same story.

This ask meme is from over a year ago. Please don't send new prompts.

42. The Big Damn Kiss 

56. Awful First Meeting

Okay, so: time travel, as is standard for this ship

We'll say Ahsoka is ehhhh 23, has been doing Fulcrum stuff for five or so years, is very competent but not perfect. She falls into the past, as one does, shows up about a year pre-Galidraan, so Jango is 21.

Ahsoka has slipped into some undercover work, eeling her way into the upper echelons of society, attending galas and events and so on in fancy dresses and jewelry. How is she funding this? However you want. Maybe she robbed a Hutt. Maybe she has the codes to some shadow accounts nobody knows she's accessing. Maybe she found teenage Bail and talked him into bankrolling her based on The Future. Doesn't matter.

(Actually, the Bail thing would make a great fic on its own, especially if Ahsoka were young enough to pretend to be his girlfriend. Tell me that wouldn't be hilarious. Not here, but somewhere. Bail is absolutely in love with Breha, but like... the fate of the Republic! The fate of the Jedi! That's a cool thing to be doing! With a cool person!)

Point is, she's lying to a lot of very wealthy, very dangerous people when she shows up at these things. She could have theoretically tricked her way into being someone's long-term date, but that would mean dating to attend more than one, and she's not doing that. Better to just pretend to be the heiress to a company from the rims that's very rich but not quite rich enough for everyone in the Core to have heard of.

She is using these events to spy, of course. Slipping into hotel rooms to slice datapads, bugging white collar criminals with a tap to their favorite watch, wandering into servant's tunnels while pretending to be drunk, all the usual fun stuff.

She gets caught, of course.

Jango's side of the story starts about when Ahsoka's does, with him hearing tales of someone stealing information and sabotaging deals, and he gets hired as security by one of those especially important events. He keeps an eye on this, and he... notices Ahsoka.

He does not notice her as a spy, but as a person who is being harassed by an intoxicated, rich old man, whom she'd clearly like to ditch but cannot safely do so.

(At least, as far as he can tell. We know her better than that.)

Jango steps in, because it's not like he's got a lot to do right now, and intercepting drunk old men has been about the only interesting thing he's had to do all night. Ahsoka... I mean, she thanks him. Technically. She doesn't hide her distaste for him as a person. Jango would think this is just about him being Mandalorian, except she doesn't react as negatively to any of the others. She's neutral and ignores most of them, but there are two moments where she interacts positively, laughing at a joke or something. So. She just doesn't like him.

The night ends without incident. It's not until weeks later that there's an information leak. It could have happened during the party Jango was guarding, but it could have happened at any of three other incidents that same month. There was at least one midnight break-in, several days after the party; there's a solid chance his presence did discourage whoever this spy was from engaging, and made them delay their actions to a Plan B.

Months later, he's doing personal guard duty for the king of something or other. It's another gala or fundraiser or coronation or--honestly, he doesn't care. He's getting paid to keep this one specific person safe, and that's all that matters.

He's not the only mando there, so when he sees a young woman, vaguely familiar, stumble out of the hall with an expression that says 'drunk' as much as it does 'roofied,' he doesn't commit any dereliction of duty by excusing himself to just... see that she's okay. The woman is familiar, even if he can't place her. That usually means something; what if she's an assassin he's run into before, here to kill his client?

(That really is why he's following her. If she's familiar but unplaceable, that usually means she's In The Business.)

He follows her at a safe distance, and sees her ask for a bathroom, get pointed in the right direction, and then... go down the wrong hallway, and enter a room that he's pretty sure is supposed to be locked.

He gives it a few seconds, edging closer slow enough that his boots can't be heard (the music and carpet both help muffle the noise, but he's still wearing a lot of metal), and then opens the door to a library-esque space.

The "drunk" girl is hard at work slicing into a computer terminal she 100% should not be at.

They stare at each other.

"Give me one good reason to not shoot y--"

"I can give you intel on Death Watch."

Jango pauses. Considers. It is not his job to keep information safe, this time. His job is to just keep one specific man alive, and this is an unrelated crime.

There are footsteps in the hall, and he sees her start to look around the room for an exit route. He tries not to think too hard on how she was planning on making the very-much-screwed-into-the-wall vent work.

"Fine," he says, and she looks quick at him, and then at the door, and then disengages from the computer and hops the desk to--plaster herself against him?

She giggles, high and drunken, and fumbles for his helmet. "Oh, come on, Mr. Mando, just a kiss? Just one ki--I told my friends I'd run into a Mand--ma--Mandaloriana... Just a kiss! I wanna--wanna one-up 'em..."

He hears the door crack open, and has no idea what he's supposed to do to play along to this... cover? Cover, sure. "Ma'am, I'm on a job."

"And you can't play? Your friends are totally--"

There's a cough from the door, and Jango turns, and the security guard that actually works here is grimacing.

"You can't be in here."

They manage to talk their way out of suspicion, something about how she claimed she'd seen something important but was just trying to seduce him, does the guard know anywhere a drunk guest can be deposited? Thanks.

She does give him information, but she disappears before he can learn anything more about her.

(Galidraan is avoided, oh so narrowly, because of what she gives him. He may never know how close it really was.)

Months pass. He gets invited an event that isn't a job, but is rather some large gladiatorial event. He's not a fan of it--he's pretty sure the fighters aren't nearly as voluntary as people are claiming--but he goes. He watches.

A familiar face enters the arena. He stiffens.

His helmet can zoom in and analyze, and he finds that the cuffs she wears are Force-dampening.

Definitely not willing.

He dithers too long to figure out how to help, or if he even can, because she wins her fight (no deaths in these matches; makes it expensive to find new combatants), and is ushered out, and Jango himself is invited to an afterparty. Someone tells him that the winning gladiators get to attend. It's a reward, the food and fancy outfits. Even 'the pretty one you seemed to like' is going to be there.

People are still pretending that the combatants are voluntary. Jango grits his teeth. He goes.

He finds her, removes his helmet, meets her eyes from across the room. She is bruised and bandaged, but alert. She blinks at him, slow and measuring, and then taps her lips twice.

He doesn't understand, until she signs--where did she learn Mando battle sign?--and asks him to lie and say they're a couple.

(Well, she's using battle sign, not actual MSL, but he's pretty sure 'cover spouse you self extraction' is... yeah. Sure, that sign for cover is usually about cover from fire, and 'spouse' is a splice of 'law' and 'partner' that is usually hard enough without trying to hide everything, but he thinks he got the gist.)

(He does kind of owe her; the information she gave him was more useful than he'd expected, and even if it hadn't been, he can probably convince her to share something else as 'payment' for getting her out of this.)

He stomps through the crowd, pushing people out of the way, and then sweeps her into his arms and bends her backwards to plant the showiest kiss he can on her.

He holds it long enough for the silence to spread, and then pulls them back upright, closes his eyes, presses his forehead to hers, and hopes that it's enough to sell it to the people around them.

His hands drift down to her wrists, a calculated move that looks natural if he's lucky, and asks quietly for them to remove the cuffs.

Jango Fett is a very heavily-armored, heavily-armed man. People read into his quiet the way he wants them to: that he is very close to slaughtering a whole lot of them, and trying incredibly hard to stay calm.

There are cuff removals, and 'negotiations' for Ahsoka's freedom (he still doesn't even know her name, but he hears the fake she gave to the people who arrested her), and she leaves the planet on his arm, and on his spaceship.

She explains that getting arrested and sent to the gladiatorial arena was part of a greater plan, but that her extraction partner was delayed. They might be dead. She doesn't know, but she was already planning her own escape. She tells him she's gotten out of worse scrapes before.

The fic would end with them separating, and her promising to come find him again. Any sequel would involve a reveal of the Future thing, possibly after a one-night stand.

[andypantsx3]

I’ve written to you before a very long time ago about things not going very well for me, and things are better now. Thank you for your compassion to a stranger then. It’s given me ideas as someone who also enjoys writing. I’m sure you’ve got variations of this question before so I’m sorry if I’ve missed those somehow but any advice on how to start writing and sharing your writing publicly? Like I created an account to send you this but I have no clue about anything really. Will I seem like a random interloper in the fandom who has arrived out of the blue 😭 I guess my concern is I’ll realize I’m actually not good at writing at all or worse nobody will read any of it. I feel awkward about actively promoting my work too. I don’t want to be famous or anything but it would suck if nobody wanted to read my stuff. You’re something of a stalwart at least for the fandom/genre/pairings you regularly write for and while I won’t aspire to that, how did you deal with self-doubt as an early writer? I know it’s not like I hope to earn money out of this or anything so opinions are just opinions but all my writing feels so personal to me that I’m worried about being convinced nobody cares about what I have to say. How does one really get their start at all. I’m sorry to bother you with all this but I’m super lost. It’s just that if someone’s terrible day or week could be made a little better because of my work, as your work regularly does for people, that would be nice. I hope you’re doing really well and randomly find something you’ve been looking for!

Hello my love!! I'm so happy I could help you out a little when you were in a tough spot!! I am very very happy that things are looking up for you now and I hope things only continue to get better and better!!! 💕

And oh my gosh, I don't think anyone will think of you as an interloper!!! Fandom is a community and the more the merrier imho! The x Reader community in particular is super welcoming and very nonjudgmental and the perfect place to get your start; almost everyone here is super nice and really chill. People will surprise you with how much nicer they are than you expect; I think you should just take a leap of faith and jump in!!

But just in case, let me give you the most realistic and straightforward advice I can. It's easy to dip your toes in and test the waters but I think you will need the below pieces of advice if you plan to battle self-doubt and continue writing & publishing fic without burning out or going nuts in the long term lol.

1. Find balance in the source of your self-worth

With publishing anything online, you always hope that people will like it and will want to engage with it. On tumblr the best measurement we have of that is notes, and on ao3 kudos + comments. Notes/comments/kudos are incredible and will make you feel more cherished than anything in the world. I will always appreciate them more than I can say, but one thing it is essential to know is that they are external sources of validation, and it is extremely dangerous to attach your sense of worth solely to the actions of other people.

If you want to publish fic, you will need to also find some internal sense of worth in your writing. You will need to finely balance that with how much you treasure the feedback of other people in order to stay afloat long term.

I recommend really sitting down and thinking about what you are writing/what you want to write, and why it is worth it to you. What makes your fic interesting to you? What are you doing differently than other people that makes you unique? What does your authorial voice sound like? Answering these questions will help you identify what you are bringing to the table as an author, so you know what it is that you do well, even if people aren't engaging the way you want, or even if you're receiving criticism.

For me, I really find value in the places I diverge from other fic authors. People really love writing powerful hero readers, but I usually write quirkless side characters who have somehow found themselves the main character. Chaptered/long fics are also less common in our fandom than oneshots, but I typically write chaptered fics! And I have a stylistically simple and light voice which is easily accessible.

All of these help me know that I'm bringing some fun distinct stuff to the table, even if what I'm bringing isn't perfect or necessarily as popular. And even if I enjoy other peoples' fics and authorial voices more than my own; I'm still bringing something unique and valuable!! So even when people aren't picking up every single thing I'm putting down, I still know the value of putting them down anyway.

2. Manage expectations

I think it can be easy to compare ourselves with one another, especially if you follow some well-established authors or people writing for super popular characters. Even I succumb to jealousy on occasion; it's just human nature. But it's important to know people will engage with different types of fics in different ways and that other people's success has nothing to do with your own.

I think you should set realistic expectations for how people will engage with your fics depending on what it is that you want to write. Some fandoms are much larger than others and therefore have a wider built-in audience. Some characters are also wildly more popular than others so it is likelier fics for those characters will go a bit further. In my experience, people really gravitate towards smutty scenarios or headcanons, sometimes oneshots, and less so chaptered fic. And some authors have been around for forever, or post constantly so that they are regularly drawing people in, and therefore have a larger reader pool than other authors.

So think about what you are writing, for which characters, and in which fandoms, and level your expectations accordingly. For me, even though Shouto is fairly popular, he also only has roughly 1/3 of Bakugou's level of popularity. So I never try to gauge the success of a Shouto fic in comparison to a Bakugou fic I've written, or even the Bakugou fics of other more established Bakugou writers.

This, combined with my own internal sense of worth as a writer, helps me feel like I'm doing pretty good for myself, even if I get like, 30 notes on a fic compared to someone else's 300 or something.

3. Understand that writing is a growing process!

One other essential tip is to understand that writing is a skill set than can be refined and honed. What you write one day is not indicative of where your skill level will sit the next day. And so critique you receive, or mistakes you have made, are really less indicative of failure and more tools to help you get to the next level.

This is one I've personally struggled with, but it can be worth it to be open to feedback that is not necessarily complimentary, with the caveat that you should know what is objective constructive criticism, and what is more subjective/personal preference. The latter you can disregard, because tailoring a fic to some random person's arbitrary tastes is not going to help you tell a good story lol.

But people telling you what they would like to see more of or things that didn't make sense to them can help you understand where you can make improvements to your writing. And it's not to say your writing is not good enough where it is; only to say there are avenues for you to develop even more experience.

For me, this has largely been in the area of smut lol. I liked my lil vanilla smut scenes, but I used to commonly get a fair amount of feedback wishing they were spicier. And, after initially getting defensive lmao, I could see how that was a common piece of feedback across multiple critiques, and I understood how drawing those scenes out might help contribute to the feeling of intimacy, satisfaction, and closure I want to develop at the end of a fic!!

I think being open to feedback while understanding that critique does not in any way take away from your talent overall, can only help you preserve the satisfaction you have with your writing, and help you refine in the future!! It keeps writing interesting, and keeps your sense of self-worth tied up in the process of writing, not necessarily the product of the writing, if that makes sense.

Anyway that's what I can think of for now. Even with all this advice listed out, I think you should just have hope and trust in people and dive right in. It sounds like you are an earnest person wanting to make heartfelt connections, and in my experience people will reflect that energy right back at you!!

I am sending you all my best vibes and looking forward to reading your stuff, if you end up going for it and posting!!! 💕✨

[existentialsophism]

Ok so I’m gonna post this here bc my mom is giving me the silent treatment and it might hit (maybe idk it’s very long)

Neurodivergent Ramblings

I had so much shit as a kid like being told I was off topic and absent minded and wandering around the classroom and yet somehow nobody had me evaluated for anything???? You have a master’s in child development and you never saw this coming??? You fucking moron!!! I lost friends and my grades failed because of that. I had to figure out why I was so weird on my own while I was being constantly bullied and manipulated for being different. I learned to hate myself before I even learned how to socialize. I wasn’t physically abused but the mental strain of masking and trying to pay attention in classes was so draining I almost killed myself several times once I got to college. It’s made me wonder if life is even worth living. And now I find something that works and I’m not even guaranteed that I’ll be able to continue because I’m not a cishet upper middle class white boy who will perfectly slot into the diagnostic criteria. That and all my shit overlaps and is impossible to separate. And now that I know shit is wrong with me I can’t even fucking access the shit that makes it better. Oh you mean I need someone to professionally tell me I can’t focus in class?? I FUCKING KNEW THAT HOW STUPID DO YOU THINK I AM YOU ASSHOLES?????? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU THAT YOU HAVE THESE RESOURCES THAT I CAN’T EVEN USE BECAUSE A DOCTOR DIDN’T CERTIFY THAT I’M NOT LYING ABOUT BEING DISTRESSED BY THIS????? DO I FUCKING LOOK DISTRESSED ENOUGH TO YOU??? I’M FUCKING CRYING OVER THIS AND YOU THINK I’M LYING OR SOMETHING???? I get not distributing stimulants without a diagnosis, I get it. But if the thing helps, and you’re a doctor who can control its dispersal, why don’t you just do it anyway??? I’m not even guaranteed a diagnosis because even though I have all of the symptoms it’s apparently not good enough for a self-assessment which doesn’t take into account the fact I also have autism and those two overlap/cancel each other out, which means I’m not guaranteed to get the shit I know would allow me to function like a normal fucking person.

No wonder I’ve never been able to relax, that’s an adhd thing. Even during sex or something I can’t relax, every single action is intentional because I have 15 separate thoughts at once about whether or not I’m doing enough or what I could do to make the other girl feel good too or whatever. I hate it. I want to just turn my brain off and be puppy, but I can’t. I have the autistic inability to turn my brain off and the adhd inability to relax. And it’s exhausting. I get headaches a lot from the sheer mental effort it takes to be alive. I’ve been awake for an hour and I think I’ve done more thinking than the average person does in their whole week. How lovely it would be for my mind to be quiet. Or even just for me to be able to control it. I can’t control my own mind so I try to control everything else in my life and get distressed when I can’t. I usually try to channel it into helping my friends and the people I love but I’m bad at that so it doesn’t even work.

I never really struggled academically as a kid because class wasn’t that challenging and I was privileged enough to have had a really strong foundation. That allowed me to look like I was actually able to hang in school when really I was just good at taking tests and not much else. I constantly forgot homework and materials for class even with my mom reminding me and half packing all of my stuff for me, I’d forget about projects until the night before, I’d have trouble with little details in later math classes which resulted in me not doing as well as I could have, it’s all shit that is part of adhd that not a single person thought to tie back to it. Because apparently you can only have adhd if you’re struggling in school or some shit. The autistic ability to control my actions didn’t help either since I could just mask everything “abnormal” about myself for my own mental and physical safety, which further contributed to everyone around me thinking nothing was wrong, and now everyone thinks I’m just trying to be trendy or label totally normal neurotypical experiences. Somehow they think that my suffering is just for attention or something?? Why would I choose to be like this? I hate it! It’s a disability! Why would I choose to be disabled?? I don’t get why neurotypical people think they can bully kids for being weird and then tell them everything they’ve been bullied for their entire life is normal actually. Why am I being gaslit by the entire world?

[readingsquotes]

"I didn’t know much about Suzanne Nossel, the CEO of PEN, but in the last few weeks, I have learned a lot about her. Her Wikipedia says she “is a human rights advocate, former government official, author, and CEO of PEN America.” She is also the former Executive Director of Amnesty International USA and COO at Human Rights Watch. It also says in her Wikipedia, “She has frequently visited relatives in Israel, saying “It's a place where I feel very comfortable and at home.”

I mean you can’t make this shit up.

I guess this is why this work is so hard for so many; in essence, what it requires is unlearning entitlement and privilege - it’s unlearning whiteness.

It’s so blatant, how far-reaching Zionism is and how embedded it is in the liberal imagination of the Western world. I guess then, it makes sense how many people in power have been ingratiated in Zionist ideology without ever challenging it, and how they then espouse these beliefs whilst also maintaining that they care about human rights alongside believing that occupation is important, and thus Palestinians just have to either go or die… how they don’t see the incongruence in those two ideologies, I’ll never know. How does the Upper West Side white woman feel this sadness for herself, but can’t comprehend how a Palestinian person must feel, having no other home? The logical conclusion one comes to is this: they must not think Palestinians are people. And if this is true in 2024 - for an organization that declares otherwise, where does that leave us as societies that pretend to be civil, moral, and upright? How do we accept and negotiate this blind spot? Do we also just allow people like Nossel to live within such bypass? It should be noted, her book title is named, fittingly, “Dare to Speak.”

According to former employees, she would in private refer to the “Palestine thing,” always avoiding accountable conversations about Zionism and complicity w/r/t Israel. It’s always interesting when people who write about free speech only mean it for themselves… and, maybe, sometimes, also the perfect victim they deem worthy of rights. The perfect victim that doesn’t contradict their own geopolitical goals, I mean it’s so blatant it’s depressing.

What they won’t tell you is not everyone gets free speech. Not because we can’t give it to them, but because people with power don’t want that. They don’t want everyone to speak, but they do want to tell you that they care about free speech. And that free speech (for them) is very important. They don’t see this as domination or even one sided, they demand you accept their half truths as total truth.

“At the top of our list is our defense of Israel,” Nossel writes in an email written to the State Department in 2011. This is the Western world. It’s a creation made to uplift whiteness and white structures, only. How is a human rights council supposed to prop up Israel’s defense? Call me crazy, but that sounds like the opposite of human rights? Also, do we do that for anyone else? Does any other nation on Earth get this pledge of defense… What about regions where actual genocide has also taken place in the last few decades, like Rwanda, Bosnia, Congo, Sudan… Palestine? What about those places, do they also get our defense, as well? What about the Rohingyas who were mass exterminated from Myanmar a few years ago… resulting in one of the largest refugee crises in the world… do they get this same defense? The answer to all these questions is no. No one else get this. Just Israel. "And, according to Nossel, this is a US State Department issue."

[going-through-some-stuff]

Entry Twenty-Two - Saturday, October 12th 2024

New record for longest time without an update, I didn’t realize it had been since May of last year since I updated here. A lot of stuff has happened since then, but I won’t get into everything here for time and character limit. Overall life has been good, though obviously today has been different since I’m posting on here. Today started out great, played magic for almost the entire day which was very fun and cool. It mostly went downhill after I left, but for the full context of the story we have to go back to July of this year.

CW WARNING // SUICIDE

On July 1st, 2024, my friend killed herself. I only knew her for maybe a year, but she had already become what I consider a pinnacle of our magic group. She was endlessly kind, curious, and overall truly the golden standard that anybody could hope to be, and I miss her every fucking day. She was truly a one of a kind type of person, and my only regret is we didn’t get more time with her. I think what fucks me up the most is she was over a year younger than me. I don’t know why, but it just adds a level to it because she was so young. I’d give anything to have her back, but also I know she’s gone and I’ll never get to see her again and that fucking sucks. It all fucking sucks. The transphobia she faced, the issues she dealt with from being neurodivergent and having BPD along with other mental health issues. She was getting treatment for her BPD and one of the side effects was memory loss. Nothing long term as far as I’m aware, mostly short term from anything after she started the treatment, but it still really broke my heart to see her not remembering conversations she had with people just the week before. I had at least hoped in the long run it would all be worth it and she’d get better but obviously and unfortunately that was not the case. She died far too young, and the world is far worse off without her light in it. We did have a nice celebration of life ceremony for her a couple weeks after then where we got to meet some of her family and friends, and it was nice to meet them and be able to grieve our friend together. A couple of months after that we planted a tree in her honor, which was also very nice. In 60+ years that tree will fuck up that lawn/sidewalk/driveway but that’s someone else’s problem.

Now you might be asking, what does any of this have to do with today? Well today one of our friends was able to get access to her google account (email, drive, etc.) and found an initial draft of a last letter in there. She shared it with a lot of disclaimers that it was very sad and nobody had any obligation to read it, but that it might help with the grieving process. It did shed some light on how truly bad her mental health was, and I knew it was bad but it was so much worse than I expected. I won’t get too into it here out of respect for her, but she did say she had been wanting to do this for 14 years. 14 fucking years. Since she was 10. I’ve had off and on suicidal ideations since I was probably around that age or maybe a little older, but it was never this bad. I cannot imagine what it felt like for her to be a child dealing with this the way she was. Part of finding out what I did makes me wish I did more but she was damn good at hiding how bad it was, and the other part was finding out there was truly nothing any of us could have done. Honestly that might hurt more than finding out we could have done more. At least it would have been some kind of learning moment to find out what to look for and maybe how to help someone else. But no. It was just the cruelty of this world and her situation that led to this. Nothing could have been done, and that fucking sucks. None amount of medication, therapy, or other forms of treatment could have done fucking anything. And that infuriates me to no end. How could there have been nothing any of us could have done differently. How was it a lost cause from the start. Why could none of us have done anything to even just make it to the end of the year with her. Even to her birthday in September. I know it would have just been prolonging the inevitable at this point but fuck. It just all sucks. She truly was the best of us and we’ll do our best to come back from this but I don’t think any of us will fully recover from this, at least not any time soon.

I’m going to break one of my rules for this blog and use a person’s real name, but it’s not like anyone reads this blog anyway.

Rest in peace, Maple. Every time I look at the stars I will think of you and know you are laughing among them, and I will laugh with you. We all miss you every day, and I swear on my life one of these days I will win a game with Soundwave.

It’s ya boy, AW, signing off.

[asachuu]

So far, what I’ve gotten from learning Japanese instead of working despite risking total collapse very, very soon:

1. I can partially read the Japanese comics that have been saved and rotting in my gallery for years now as the closest free media I can get my hands on.

2. I somewhat feel deeply cursed by point 1, purely because those comics have been saved for artworks of one single character in them, very much not the actual content itself. A silent nod to my telepathic audience is in order.

3. But god damn, do I have to admit through gritted teeth…are they entertaining sometimes.

Maybe someday, I’ll be able to read a manga to my liking…I’ve currently decided to dive headfirst into N3 vocabulary instead of all the work piled up on me that I’ll likely be explaining to hospital staff in just under a week, which— according to public opinion— is a perilous mistake, but is it worth the three seconds of pure happiness at being able to understand something, literally anything, even if it’s deeply questionable media from the depths of my storage?

Yes. Of course. I don’t care if I’m sitting here like Sisyphus trying to get the same three words I keep forgetting for two years now into my head over and over again back somewhere from N5 while knowing how to use less grammar than a watermelon. Finally, finally, it feels like everything is starting to pay off.

And yes, this does deserve a main account post. I haven’t been sitting here for so long, for years treading through endless months of absolutely no motivation, wish or energy to learn this language, let alone do literally anything else, to not post something ten times less uptight than my usual textposts when for the first time, I’ve gotten somewhere like this through my own efforts I’ve miraculously never given up on.

I suppose…if you want to do something with a goal you deem far too ambitious, it’s always worth a try as long as it drives you, and I say this as an impatient pessimist who barely ever has any hope and usually wants results immediately. Admittedly, realistically, not everything will always be possible, but nobody can tell what exactly that may be, and I thought that the point I’m at right now was unachievable. Two years ago, I was probably sitting in the same spot I’m sitting in at the moment, frustrated that I was making much too invisible progress—if any at all— and today, I can’t even explain the feeling of catharsis this provides. It hasn’t been the best day, week, month or year, and that’s the most sugarcoated understatement of the century, but despite everything, I feel almost relieved right now. Maybe it won’t last me until tomorrow, maybe it won’t get me through the week, but it was all still worth it for this moment. Even if all this time and effort meant I’d spend just one single evening feeling a tiny bit lighter…I think I’d do it again and again.

On a side note…perhaps, somewhat ironically, the reason my past self was so unmotivated and miserable is actually the reason I’ve gotten here now, in a strange way…I’ve never paid for classes, barely ever spoke to anyone from Japan, only ever kept a Duolingo streak alive to at least face the language one single time per day for less than a minute, and I pretty much studied grammar and vocabulary whenever I felt like it instead of having a set time every day for it. If that meant going weeks and months without looking at it much, so be it, I always made it something I actively chose to do at any given moment instead of doing it out of necessity. Considering I’m…well…very, very prone to burning out terribly fast, as I’ve come to find out in the most unfortunate of ways, even having a class weekly would start feeling like a stressful necessity to me I’d get tired of, but this way, albeit very slowly and frustratingly enough at times, I ultimately never truly gave up on it and never lost even the slightest ounce of interest through means out of my control, and…it still got me somewhere. Slowly, quickly, doesn’t matter— in the end, I can see I’ve gotten further than I ever believed I could, and perhaps it’s not much objectively at all, but even to someone like me, for once, it’s beyond enough.

Anyhow, do forgive the messy ramble. I private or delete most of my impulsive textposts, but perhaps I’ll keep this one for a bit longer, just for the sentiment. It’s…something to cling onto.

[justglitter]

Another failed break up to add to the list.

Another week of mourning what could have been, followed by two weeks of giving up then starting up again because I WILL find someone good for me and it will all be fine. (I wonder if the constant boom and bust is healthy? Although I have a feeling that the more fails, the faster I will get over it/them). I’m also kinda glad bc I learned that whether I do it or not I can’t change whether a guy will like me or not so I shouldn’t feel bad

My main focus should be on the fact that I feel like I’m completely rubbish at my job, not a guy who will be a distant memory this time next month 💀

Just writing this to remind myself that I’ll be fine bc I feel kinda anxious and a bit rubbish at the moment

17/08/24

I just deleted my Hinge and Bumble accounts. I feel free and now I can really reflect on my experience.

-I wonder how many hours I have wasted from looking at the apps, swiping endlessly, engaging in dead end conversations and feeling frustrated / unattractive thanks to my experience on the apps

-Bumble almost felt broken to me because barely anything came out of it. I’ve wasted more time swiping away than actually meeting people from there and everyone that I have met from there was not the type of partner that I am looking for.

-I have been ghosted, and have ghosted others. Nobody is really held accountable. Everyone that you meet on there is ‘disposable’. I haven’t felt physically attracted to most of the guys that I have met on there. I’ve tried dating someone who I didn’t feel physically attracted to and just felt like he was a user in the end. I tried seeing how things would go with someone who I wasn’t completely attracted to and he ended up just being a love bomber who went cold after a few weeks. I’ve met someone who said that he wanted a second date then he ghosted me after. I’ve met someone who liked me and thought I was attractive but wrote me off as someone that he could see a long term relationship with. I have also met nice people but unfortunately felt no physical attraction towards them.

Honestly the whole experience has been a rollercoaster and I don’t think it’s worth it. It’s true that most people on dating apps aren’t going to meet a long term partner because they need people on there to make money.

Dating apps don’t feel fun anymore. They feel frustrating, draining, and disappointing. Even super pretty women seem to be struggling with dating apps so what does that say.

Potentially find a new hobby and maybe get into that mindset of not caring about whether I’m single forever or not!

It’s either I meet someone in person or I live a nice life as a single person because I’ve literally been using dating apps since I was around 19 and nothing long term has ever come out of them. I never even met any potential partners at uni or ever so I think I was prob destined to be alone forever which makes me sad.

It is time to focus on other things, starting with the 75 hard (soft) challenge and lean down a bit.

[loud-sturniolos]

So I need to ramble about my ex “friend” bc this mf did some horrible shit recently and I have no one to talk to abt it‼️‼️ This is rlly long, and may not make sense, but yk drama is drama, read if u wanna🤷‍♂️ Also, ngl, I’m also toxic in this argument but idc😞‼️

Also I’ve said like a bajillion times but nobody does it; my asks are open for literally anything, like pls talk to me I’m lonely af😞 U can literally ask for drama and I will tell y’all some random ass drama from my life if u want js pls talk to me LMFAO🙏

SOOOOO This kid that I was “friends” with (more like acquaintances, I dont rlly do friends) is such a fucking bitch like if I see him im gonna fucking beat the shit out of him. He messages me like every few weeks out of nowhere about random shit as if we’re friends, so the other day I kinda snapped when he asked “how are you” and i was like “idk why you care, you literally never talk to me at all, you left me on delivered for 3 months when I had nobody then randomly showed up again and tried to act as if nothing happened” and that kinda started an argument but he was to much of a pussy to argue w me😞 (Haven’t had a proper argument in a good while icl). Anyways next day this snapchat accoumt messages me that I’ve had added since december but like idk who it is, they message me w a snap using a random ass filter and the caption “Damien you gave me an eating disorder” so OBVIOUSLY I’m fucking confused asf, bc what?? Who randomly claims someone gave them an eating disorder??? Like especially claiming I gave them one whilst I’m recovering from my own?? back tf up. but anyways im like “wtf, who r u? idk u” and they listed like a few basic things that anybody on my snap knows, and i said anyone would know that, and then this mf bitch goes “Well ik your real parents are druggies” (Long story short, im adopted bc my real mum was addicted to her dads meds, idk abt my real dad) and obviously im like SHOVKED bc i’d only ever told like 4 ppl abt this that I trusted (idrc now tho, ill tell the world tbh😞‼️) so im instantly like “wtf who r u??” and he tries to make a guessing game out of it?? Like what the actual fuck?? Making a game out of my personal life is like a straight up no? Anyways I start yk, stalking n shit bc bro wont tell me who they are and I see their user name has “bl00dy” in, what do I see on my quick add? Ex friends full name, on a different account BUT the username has “bl00dy” in (btw im not like censoring that, thats literally how they spell it in the user💀), so I’m instantly like Who does this ugly mf think they are adding me on a fake account to talk abt my real parents n shit like that, so I head on over to whatsapp bc thats where we message and i send a ss of the fake acc and i say “is this you”, he deny it, I tell him all the proof I have that it’s him (Same hair colour/length from the snap, identical usernames, same humour, same typing style) and he denies it.

Guess who messages me 20 minutes later confessing? he does. If u gonna lie at least keep up the lie like tf? Anyways, he confessed and I was obviously pissed off bc I trusted him with personal info abt my real parents yk?? And I basically tell him he’s a stupid fuck that needs to get a life and he goes “Maybe I went a bit too far.” A BIT?! A BIT TOO FAR?! No mf you went WAYYY too far. Anyways idk what happened adter that part bc whatsapp wont let me back on it bc my storage is HORRIBLE. But I have some screenshots and can remember a bit of it sooo..

Next thing I have is him telling me “Human error is a think yn, you might not be autistic” so obviously I go off at him for that umh.. I wrote a lot so I’ll js put in the screenshot

so yhh.. that part happened😽

Next thing I have screenshotted pissed me off so much y’all dont understand omg. So first, he called me a high school drop out and called me special n told me i got sent to a “special school”, basically mocking my mental health and autism?? When I tell you I know so much about his trauma, and his mental health that I could have brought up in that argument i swear. anyways, i told him how the school i go to now isnt a special school, and that I didnt get “sent” i literally chose to go there, and also I haven’t dropped out of high school bc im still enrolled in a school??? then he suddenly starts asking me abt what job I wanted to do when I’m older, so I tell him (Child protection officer or a detective) and he starts telling me how 1. I’d probably brag about making a child cry and thats a whole other fucking thing if i went on abt that this would be way too long. and 2. How I can never get the jobs bc I need science. Keep that shit in mind, SCIENCE. He starts telling me abt how to get the job i want, the job i’ve been researching into for 3 years, he js starts telling me abt how ill mever get it. Then he brings up how I need psychology for it. And he says how psychology is a science. When I tell u this mf stupid istg😞 So I have to go explaining to this dumbfuck that i do not, in fact, need a science degree i meed a psychology degree. Then he tries to tell me how detectives use chemicals and stuff and I’m like… you mean the forensics team need chemicals? Bc detectives and forensics teams are two different jobs bae😨.

anywaysss, next thing I have screenshotted is me mocking his dumbass but idk the messages b4 it. but the SS is just this:

so thats cute. Anyways, the next thing that happened is when I got my older sister involved bc mf should not have brought it up!!

So I told him at some point to sort his memory out bc he was telling me things that didnt happen, then this mf tells me to basically stop being a hypocrite and tells me that the pills im on fucks up my memory. So, then im confused bc.. I’m not on meds? So I’m like “where tf did you get that from? i dont take pills” and this little fucker i swear i will kill him if he comes near me again, he fucking says “You failed an overdose, hence why I thought you took pills”. Who the fuck does this fucker think he is to bring up MY mental health? To bring up MY suicide attempts?!?! Like actually, he can shut right up bc he’s attempted too, so????? Anyways I was like fully gobsmacked rhat this stupid little fuck thought he could bring up my mental health like that, so I gave the phone to my sister bc shes a toxic bitch and she will gladly argue w anyone🤗

Heres a lil list of things I remember happening but don’t remember the whole thing(that dont make sense but oh well):

He brought up (to my sister) that she hangs out with “druggies” (People in her friend group smoke, vape, do ket, and weed etc. but she only smokes and vapes)

He sent a very quickly deleted message that I managed to read that was basically him 1. calling me a she (transphobic little shit) and 2. telling someone else about MY overdose. Honestly💀. Me and my sister know who he was most likely telling anyways bc he only has one friend😽

Anyways rhats all I rlly rememberrrr.. I can probably remember skme other things, or drama that happened before this argument so if you want more of my drama filled life js ask‼️😽

[tiny-smallest]

things I Did Not Expect from Journey To The West, a summary by an lmk fan whose wife is reading and sharing EVERYTHING:

Wukong is basically baby in the beginning? Like my god he’s just so excited and eager to learn??

The jokes about ‘ANOTHER MOUNTAIN’ and ‘ANOTHER RIVER’ Were Not Exaggerating

it really is a monster of the week format, which is neat; I wonder if this novel is where that trope started

Wukong is incredibly polite... most of the time

there is actually some basis in the book for things I saw circulating in fandom which is kind of cool

there is also some basis in the book for things I assumed were made tf up, like Wukong being a hero to the people of mortal realm as told in Macaque’s shadowplay backstory (found in the Slow Cart Kingdom chapter, where The Gold Star Of Venus tells the captive monks that Wukong is “a person of vast kindness” who “will avenge injustices, assist the oppressed, and comfort widows and orphans”

Wukong doesn’t dispute this, either, which means he’s actually done it

Wujing is very quiet at first, but slowly starts coming out of his shell and is kind of sassy sometimes! I love it but I wish he had more screentime? more time in his head?

the author really did just forget the horse is a dragon I wish that bro did anything at all

Bajie is... surprisingly awful for awhile, and in ways I can maybe see are supposed to be him acting out because of the whole ‘let me force you on this trial on pain of something probably worse’ thing, but it’s frustrating the novel doesn’t give him the same depth it gives Wukong by giving us more insight to his thoughts

speaking of which I’ll be honest, when I first poked into the lmk fandom and saw people who had ready jttw there, I was expecting their accounts of Wukong and a lot of the awful shit that happens to him to be exaggerated some because he’s their favorite and sometimes you just quietly inflate the facts to make your favorite less problematic c’mon we’ve all done it but- no. 

Holy shit, they were not kidding this monkey really does just get put through so much shit. 

The BOOK takes MULTIPLE instances to DIRECTLY SAY he’s in tears, and not the ‘noble, poetic’ kind of tears that a lot of old epics give to their heroes (minus maybe the Flowerfruit Mountain revelation in the WBS chapter) but like- very real tears. 

He has a few instances where he’s a bully and he steals some shit but none of that warranted what happened to him, there’s the MOUNTAIN AND THE FUCKING CIRCLET, there’s him taking blow after blow for Tripitaka (sometimes kind of rightfully, since there’s a couple instances so far where it’s his fault the situation exists at all), there’s him being set on fire and drowned and Bajie constantly turning Tripitaka against him in the beginning, Wukong is constantly saving them all from danger after they do something he told them not to or walked up to someone he told them was a demon, and like at least two or three times Tripitaka promises they’ll listen next time, or thanks him, and then PROCEEDS TO NOT DO THAT, there’s the fact that Tripitaka uses the circlet WAY too many times, and in situations where nobody’s life is in danger, there’s the fact that Tripitaka always resorts to name-calling when he’s angry with Wukong, there’s multiple references to Wukong looking sick and starved, there’s watching in real time as he internalizes the idea that he’s ugly and scary and his only worth is what he can do for other people- holy shit this monkey has trauma, and he really, honestly doesn’t deserve it compared to what he’s actually done.

like no seriously I don’t have all the time in the world to hunt all these quotes down but here’s one that happens when Wukong tries to prevent them from discovering a demon who had disguised himself as an innocent human child in trouble:   "You wretched ape! How villainous you are! You don't have the tiniest bit of kindness in you! Every thought of yours is bent on making mischief and working violence! I told you that it was a human voice calling for help, but you have to spend countless words to claim it was a monster. Look! Isn't that a person hanging on the tree?" Seeing how the master was putting the blame on him and also the form before his face, the Great Sage lowered his head and dared not reply, for there was nothing he could do at the moment and he was afraid that his master would recite the Tight-Fillet Spell. He had little choice, in fact, but to permit the Tang Monk to approach the tree.

like bruh that one made me straight up feel murder as an emotion

(also ‘Wukong isn’t the main character’ MY ASS)

in that same vein Book Tripitaka is just... so unlikable

like I see there was a definite attempt at making him interesting- it’s clear that some of his reactions are borne from the trauma of what happened to him right at the start of his journey, and it’s intriguing to me that as the novel goes on he outright regrets ever agreeing to this quest- much different than most characters on A Hero’s Journey, and especially given that he’s a monk on a religious mission

also worth noting that it seems the gods almost deliberately set it up so that he and Wukong would have instant friction

but my god the way he treats Wukong when Bajie is infinitely more trouble and disrespectful is just... infuriating; he’s downright vicious to him

I did not expect to hate Kuan-Yin so much but I super do fuck her

what happens to Red Boy is so very fucking DISTURBING FUCK KUAN-YIN

also fuck Erlang

THERE’S JUST A CASUAL GENOCIDE? OF FLOWERFRUIT MOUNTAIN? THAT’S LARGELY GLOSSED OVER AFTER WUKONG FIXES THE ISLAND AND KILLS THE HUNTERS?? LIKE BRUH THAT’S PRIME ANGST MATERIAL CAN WE MAYBE DIG INTO THAT A BIT MORE??

certain chapters I saw hyped up really are Actually That Good, including the White Bone Spirit chapter, the Slow Cart Kingdom chapter, the Red Boy chapter, and the (very bizarre) Macaque chapter

it probably wasn’t the author’s intention but Tripitaka comes off as super aroace

on that same note, Wukong says a thing or two that gives a range from which to pick your favorite personal headcanon; mine is demi

Bajie keeps losing it over women but also knows what Wukong’s ass looks like which is bruh okay

the tiger slaughtering I saw referenced really does happen just immediately after Wukong is freed, and then Wukong makes that skirt just... part of his outfit forever

Wukong really does utterly adore his monkeys it’s so cute

the Macaque chapter is indeed weird, but very good; also super cool to see what might be fiction’s first instance of the evil doppelganger trope

that part where the three disciples sneak into a daoist temple to eat all their food and hang out? is really cute, and I wish we had more moments building up to that kind of development in their relationships

but interestingly, we DO see developments that happen as a RESULT of this chapter!

Bajie is way less trouble, for one thing, making more jokes with the others and causing far fewer headaches

and Wujing is more talkative! as well as sassy!

as for Wukong, when Tripitaka starts panicking over obstacles in their way, he starts saying “we’ve got this” and “you have the three of us” instead of “you’ve got me” and “I can handle this.”

Wukong is disturbingly So Ready to show off how unkillable he is and I’m glad the lmk fandom has agreed this is a self-harm behavior because YIKES

the amount of times Tripitaka falls off his horse or experiences his soul yeeting itself from his body is both relatable considering the circumstances, and really frustrating

Wukong seems to agree actually because most of the time he’s surprisingly kind and cheerful when assuring Tripitaka but every now and again he snaps and says or does something mean

Wukong and Tripitaka’s relationship is by far the most explored one at this point (just finished the Macaque chapter) and somehow there is still wasted material THERE’S MORE YOU CAN DIG INTO BOOK PLEASE

the fact that Wukong and Macaque fight like feral cats to each location in that chapter remains hilarious and is especially funny without the lmk context (of which we still have none)

so much of this book explains so much about lmk Wukong but like we still need to know exactly how much of the book they’re making canon to their universe skjfnslkdjfnsdf

[ganseyenthusiast]

anyways since the theme of post-TRK seems to be that every single character ignores any development they had and gets worse, I'm listing everything out here + with a rating of how likely I, the authority of everything ever, think it was. greywaren spoilers obviously

1. Declan: Decides Dad was good all along, disregards real actual emotional abuse and parentification as "misremembering" how great Niall was. 6/10. CDTHEU Declan is a very different character to TRK Declan, I still think he's been too self aware throughout to suddenly walk it back THIS severely. I predict a severe breakdown for him age 30 since I've never witnessed someone do Denial as their last stage of grief.. it’s gonna be explosive

2. Ronan: Disregards his family for the majority of his arc, is worse to them than in TRC. does not call gansey for months. finds a new FP instead of a therapist. emotionally worse off. does find himself via terrorism I guess? 9/10. pretty on brand for Ronan to go scorched earth and suffer zero consequences. I do wish he was made aware of his birth circumstances and displayed the same love/grief for aurora/niall that he's shown in every book except greywaren. are you telling me he can look at the New Fenian and be OKAY?????

3. Adam: ‘Reinvents’ himself, suffers, lies, suffers again. Does not call gansey. Suffers in the VoidSpace, apparently with no lasting consequences. becomes a narc. 7/10. I was hoping for a more self aware adam post TRK but him choosing to pull a Henry Cheng is also pretty on brand. wish he'd actually broken up with Ronan for at least a week. him becoming a narc is unfortunately pretty accurate to character but government jobs are not famously well paying so it really does feel random? the only thing he’s done that’s close to sleuthing is inventing pedo murder charges for his teacher/keeping with the bryde stuff. plus he's still not utilizing his magic skill so this just feels like a continuation of the Harvard arc for the rest of his life which is REALLY baffling when u compare how many times TRK insists he's a magician and will remain a magician/psychic despite everything. seems he's growing MORE disconnected with himself. i’m all for negative development but it’s really being framed as a happy ending which is baffling ngl

4. Gansey: has a sociology degree + is only associated with blue (and nobody else) in the 4-5 years since TRK. Completely reversed his stance on henrietta being home, on "I'd take all of you anywhere with me", on his dedication to history/archeology. does not seem too concerned about Ronan going insane, still odd despite the time he's had to get used to it. 5/10. horrible representation of gansey but I DO like that he's focusing on himself instead of raising pynch. as i say this i remember the ring thing and grit my teeth. complete ignorance of Henry AFTER his whole "friends forever and ewer" TRK thing gives me a good playground to make things worse so I like it but it's definitely weird. how did being a teenager specifically suck for you king because I think Being Dead trauma is unrelated to age

5. Matthew: nearly found independence + love in the abrasive way that lynches give it, then was disregarded emotionally and still not given an apology for the Everything from declan. 8/10. extremely on brand for the lynches to not hold each other accountable. Matthew seems to have improved somewhat + Declan is less overbearing about him, so I like it, I'll take it

6. Henry: went into Seondeok's black market low level mob business, got divorced?, does not speak to bluesey. 10/10. it’s so bad. absolutely off brand for the entire theme of him rejecting the Orders his mother who Literally Forced him to come to henrietta gave him (did not begin this game looking for a friend etc). refutes the entire "find your own something more" theme, refutes the "three of us" theme, refutes the "im going to make something great" motives. and I love it. TRULY my worst ending for Henry is becoming yet another fairy market nepotism casualty. he will Literally never escape and it’s FANTASTIC it is so much fun. Ha Ha You Have Become Your Mother

7. Fenian/Mor: live at the fucking barns now. 1/10. you are telling me a series whose entire THING is based on growing up/overcoming grief/moving on ends with THE FUCKING LYNCH FAMILY BACK AT THE BARNS?????????? WHAT THE HELL???? WHY IS EVERYONE OKAY WITH ANY OF THIS??????????????????????????????????????????????????

[corrodedhawkins]

The Internet Is For Porn: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Author’s note: For the bestie @escapingtohawkins

Content warnings: Graphic smut (minors DNI), language, filming sex, sex toys, handcuffs, cockwarming, orgasm control, dom/sub dynamic.

“I don’t know if I can do this.” You stood in Eddie’s room, arms crossed over your chest nervously.

“C’mon, honey”, Eddie says, coming up behind you to pull you back into his chest. He presses a soft kiss behind your ear. “Don’t you want to make all of my adoring fans happy?”

You snort, “I don’t know if I would call the 20 people who pay to see your cock ‘adoring fans’.”

“Hey! I’ll have you know I hit 60 subs last week.”

You turn to stare at him blankly, “Wow, you must be in the top 1% of the platform by now.”

Eddie sneers playfully and flips you the bird. “Seriously. Ever since I let is slip during a live that I had a girl, I’ve gotten so many requests to film with you. Please?” He spins you around and pouts his lip, giving you his best puppy dog eyes.

You knew your boyfriend had an OnlyFans account when you first met, and it had never bothered you. He enjoyed showing off, and it paid fairly well. You just didn’t know if you were comfortable doing it.

“I promise it’ll be totally safe. You’ve seen my content, I make sure my face is hidden. Nobody will ever know it’s you.” He’s right, he’s always so careful with his angles. The only thing that could identify him were his tattoos, but you didn’t have any yet.

“If you don’t like the final result we’ll trash it and forget all about it. We can also edit out anything you want. I promise. You get final approval.”

You thought it over for a moment. “Fine. But I keep the tips you make off of this one.”

Eddie practically squeals with excitement. “Deal!”

Phone in hand, he runs over to his closet to grab his ring light and tripod.

You can’t help but laugh, “You want to film it now?”

Eddie huffs as he secures his phone to the tripod. “No time like the present.”

You feel nerves flutter in your stomach. “So, how does this work exactly?”

Eddie rubs his hands over your arms soothingly. “Well, we turn the camera on and do whatever comes naturally for us.”

“Do-do we get naked now or?”

Eddie laughs, “We can do whatever you’re comfortable with. Might make it easier so we’re not fumbling with clothes.”

You take a shaky breath and nod, placing a quick peck to his lips. “Alright, let’s do it.”

You both shed your clothes before Eddie grabs the remote for the camera. He lays down on his bed, pulling you on top of him. “We’ll start whenever you’re ready, okay?”

“Will you just-kiss me a little before you press record?” Eddie smiles softly and pulls you into a sweet kiss. He presses you up against him as he wraps his arms around you, and you melt into the kiss. “Go ahead”, you whisper.

Eddie grabs the remote from his side, hitting record before pulling you into another kiss. Before long, you’re grinding on each other as you kiss, tongues tangling hotly. “Sit up, baby”, Eddie whispers in your ear.

You roll off of him and sit up, looking over at Eddie as he perches on the edge of the bed. “Ropes or cuffs?” He asks as he opens his bedside table.

You think it over for a moment before deciding, “Cuffs.” He grabs them and secures the cuffs onto your wrists in front of you, checking to make sure they’re not too tight.

“Here’s what’s going to happen”, he slides himself behind you to sit against the pillows. He pulls you back into his chest, legs spreading to bracket your hips. “You’re going to sit on my cock while I touch you. If you move, I’ll stop and you won’t get to cum.” He speaks so softly you know there no way the microphone is going to pick it up.

He pulls your hair away from your shoulder to press soft kisses to your neck. You shiver as his breath fans over your skin. “I’ll leave you cuffed like this and use your mouth until I cum all over this pretty pussy.”

He chuckles at your whimper, “My subscribers would probably love that. What do you think, baby?”

“No”, you whine. “I’ll be good.”

Eddie hums thoughtfully, “I guess we’ll see.”

He grabs your hips to lift you onto his lap, slowly sliding you down onto his cock. Your head falls back onto his shoulder as you both moan. You can’t help but squirm to try to get him deeper, but Eddie’s hand clamps down on your hip right away.

“What did I just fucking say?” he thrusts up, knocking the air out of you.

“I-I’m sorry. Couldn’t help it.” You feel Eddie shift and grab something from the beside table. You hear the telltale buzzing of your vibrator, and you immediately clench around his cock.

Eddie chuckles when he feels it. “Yeah? Excited for your toy? You gotta be good or I’ll stop.” You let out a shaky breath, trying your best to stay still as he presses the vibrator up against your clit.

When you bite your lip to stifle your moan, Eddie tsks. “Don’t. Let me hear you. Let them hear you.” Your eyes flutter shut, a high-pitched whine escaping your throat. Eddie hums and switches to a higher setting on the vibrator, sending a jolt of pleasure through you.

You cry out and clench down on him, thankfully stopping yourself before you rock back onto his cock. “Do you like the thought of everyone watching you get off like this?”, he asks. When you don’t answer, he sets the vibrator even higher, chuckling when you whine. “I asked you a question, pretty girl.”

“Yes”, you gasp out. Your cuffed hands are balled into fists as you desperately try not to move.

“You like that they all get to hear your pretty noises, but I’m the only one that gets to use this pretty pussy?”

You can’t help but clench down again. “Yeah”, you pant, chest heaving as you struggle to catch your breath. Eddie hums and presses the vibrator more firmly into your clit.

You feel the coil in your belly start to tighten, pleasure building. “Close. I’m close”, you warn. Eddie switches the vibrator up to the next highest setting. You keen, but somehow manage not to move.

“Please. Please I’m gonna cum. Can I?”you’re desperate for his permission.

Eddie presses a kiss to your shoulder, leaning in to speak into your ear. “You’ve been so good, go ahead and cum.”

The second the words leave his mouth you’re falling over the edge, pussy pulsing around his cock as you cry out. He holds the vibrator against you as you ride it out, whispering praises into your ear.

Once he feels you start to come down, he removes the toy from your clit and switches it off, throwing it to the foot of the bed. He unlocks the cuffs from your wrists and throws them alongside the vibrator.

“You ok?”, he asks as he runs his hands over your arms soothingly, placing a soft kiss to each wrist.

You let out a breathless laugh. “I’m very ok.” Eddie lifts you off of his cock, laughing as you whine from the loss. He lays you down on your back and knees his way in between you legs. “Ok to keep going?”

You wrap your arms around him, whispering a, “yeah” against his lips before closing the distance between you. Eddie kisses you leisurely, giving you time to rest after your orgasm. Once he’s sure you’ve come down, he pulls back and grabs the back of your thighs, bringing your legs up to bend against your chest.

“You think you’re ready for my cock?”, he asks as he spits into his palm, dragging the slick over his length.

You place your hands on the backs of your things, holding yourself open for him. “Yeah, please. Please fuck me.”

Eddie shuffles forward and runs the tip of his cock back and forth over your folds, up to your clit before circling your hole, never quite pushing in. You’re still so sensitive from your orgasm, and the feeling of his cock grazing your clit makes you squirm.

Before you know what’s happening, Eddie brings his hand to smack across your face, leaving a sharp sting in its wake. Your eyes well up with tears instantly. “Ah ah. You did so well for me earlier, don’t ruin it now.” You nod and sniffle as Eddie brushes a stray tear from your face.

He plunges into you without warning as you let out a sharp cry. He takes your place and grips the backs of your thighs, leaning his weight into you so you’re pinned in half under him as he sets a brutal pace.

“Fuck”, he groans. “This pussy is so good. You did so good, baby.” He grabs a fistful of hair at the base of your skull and uses that to bring you up into a breathless kiss.

He thrusts harder as he feels you start to flutter around him. “You can cum whenever you want, sweetheart.” Your orgasm rips through you before you even register his words. You sob as Eddie fucks you through it.

Eddie moans as you cum, the feeling of you clenching around him getting him close. “Gonna cum”, he gasps. “Where do you want it?”

“In me. Please cum in me”, you beg.

Eddie throws his head back and cums, groaning as he fills you. He holds you close as he comes down, his thrusts turning into a slow rocking before they stop completely.

You reach up to run your fingers through his hair as you push a few strands away from his face. You hum when he places a kiss to your forehead and reaches for the camera remote to end the recording.

When you see him press the button on the remote, you can’t help but bark out a laugh. “I’m not gonna lie, I totally forgot the camera was on.”

Eddie laughs and goes to grab his phone from the tripod. “Looks like you’re a natural then, baby.”

He hits the record button once again as he swoops in to catch the first trickle of his cum dripping out of you. “Eddie!”, you squeal, trying to close your legs. He smacks a hand down hard on your thigh, “keep them open.”

You comply as he brings two fingers down to circle your hole before dipping in, fucking his cum back into you. The wet noises make your cheeks heat, and Eddie notices. “Don’t worry, babe. This one’s only for my personal collection.”