#if ive posted some of these already WHO CARES no one looks at my oc posts anyway lol

[monkii-bombs]

old Truth Patoot doodles

[reverie-obsessingtime]

Why I think Sparkle is a maladaptive daydreamer coded character and who it plays part into her character as a whole: from a maladaptive daydreamer (and a character analysis)

(Ok folks, this turned out rather long so get your popcorn and water at hands reach!.....trust me.)

Hi!!!! :,D This is my second post here and it feels like it's been a decade but here I am again haha...

This time I'm here with something I'm more confident in exploring as, I myself, am a maladaptive daydreamer! :,)

And because of that Sparkle hit me like a TRUCK and her MADD (mal. daydreamer for short) coding makes me love her and go insane about it at the same time.(it means a lot to me ok?😭)

Sooo I'm here today to expand and shine light on it to the rest of the masses as there isn't much appreciation for Sparkle (which is understandable cause she is a character not everyone can savor) and I feel like her maladaptive daydreaming can help understand her way of thinking.

comments, reblogs and likes are VERY much appreciated if you would like to see more of my billion cents and share with others to further show me support :,)

if you have any disagreements, corrections, different opinions or such that you would like to discuss I'm always open to further discussions as I would love to receive back engagement with these posts (as long as it is in good manners)

Enough talk from me though, let's get into it already:

What is maladaptive daydreaming?

Throw the google definitions out the window, let me give you a gist of it from someone who has it:

it's a coping mechanism turned addiction that can develop from loneliness or trauma (it is also common in people with ADHD). It helps you deal with the current reality you are in by offering escapism but it differs from normal daydreaming because it becomes maladaptive (as the name suggests).

What that looks like is being addicted to escaping reality through it by daydreaming, which can make you want to trade time forming human bonds, hanging out with friends, doing tasks you should, even taking care of yourself (etc.) with daydreaming. Most of the time you don't even need to do it but daydreaming is so much more fun and entering than ur current boring life that you keep doing it anyway. It can isolate you and make you lose touch with reality (from one degree to another depending on the individual).

But people with MADD DON'T ACTUALLY BELIEVE IN THEIR DAYDREAMS. They KNOW they aren't real. Some might willfully want to believe in them but at the end of the day they know it's all made up. If you are a MADD but get serious delusions about it you might want to check more into that cause something is overlapping.

Maladaptive daydreaming is MUCH more immersive and vivid than normal daydreams (what can I say, practice makes perfect🤭). Some MADD will stim while daydreaming in various ways that have to do with whatever they are daydreaming for enhanced immersion (some will pace around the room, some will make facial expressions, some will catch themselves talking, etc)

The daydreams each differ from individual to individual and can be classified in multiple types, some make OCs while others imagine a different version of themselves or make a character similar to certain degrees to them.

We are very much fictional-stories-makers nerds no matter to be honest

Now that we got the explanation out of the way:

Why do I think Sparkle has MADD?

🎇Proof number one: her character story IV

..... *POINTS AGGRESSIVELY* like?? COME ON!! (my "she is just like me fr!!!" moment and what made me want to make this whole post)

Ok, ok, let me try to be serious about this 😮‍💨

Analyzing this alone:

"It's truly addictive to me" maladaptive daydreaming is a behavior that is addictive to the individual (du uh)

"The more I imagine, the more I get absorbed in those characters" Getting absorbed into your daydreams (and it being addictive) is a core part of MADD and what differentiates it from normal daydreaming.

"the wonderful and tragic situations I create for them, and the emotions they experience in those circumstances..." Here, Sparkle is talking about the characters she makes and how by acting them and playing their roles and their stories, she enjoys herself and is entertained by them.

From my perspective, Sparkle is an individual who finds the emotions of others and how each reacts put in various situations, fascinating, entraining and enjoyable to witness, observe and ponder on more than an average individual.

Which I think is something all of us MADD, writers, OC makers, character analyzing enjoyers and fic writers can relate to ( "no"? ok. now tell me your OCs tragic backstory come on~ come on~ ik you have one. No? Ok then tell me through what psychological horror you want ur fav to go through~ Ik you know that you want them to get tortured by the writers at least just a tiny bit....I know what you are.)

🌸Further more quotes from her character story IV:

"Lies? Come on, I'm not trying to tell a grand story or fabricate an eye-catching experience... I'm wholeheartedly exercising my imagination for my own sake. I imagine various lives, seek excitement, and then recreate them as best I can, and pump the brakes on my imaginative balloon just a second before it bursts."

.... genuinely what do you want me to say honestly, that's SUCH a MADD to say, pls reread how many times it takes to get it. Everything in that is just PEAK maladaptive daydreamingness. Genuinely I don't have anything to add that won't sound like "Water is H2O and 2+2=4" 🤷

"Seriously, having a script is far from enough. First and foremost, I must wholeheartedly believe that the character I'm portraying truly exists. Then, I need to imagine the other stories where the character would appear. I always need extra information to make their motivation logical and emotional."

Sparkle seems dedicated to portraying, grasping and understanding her characters by IMMERSING herself into them as much as possible. Going the EXTRA mile, such as imagining other stories they could appear in, making herself believe the character TRULY exists and informing herself about them to portray them the best.

Which, again, all writers, OC makers and fic writers who actually give more than two dice about their character can relate to as we want our characters to be most accurate and well written and for that we do all Sparkle said.

The "I must wholeheartedly believe that the character I'm portraying truly exists" strikes a chord in me because it's such a ??? NON MADD ARE NOT THAT DEDICATED TO IT JSJSKSJ THAT'S SUCH A MADD MILDLY CONCERNING BUT MADD THING TO SAY SKDHSKSN IK WHAT YOU ARE!!!

OK OK.

I can hear you going "but she is an actor, it's just part of being an actor". Ok Sherlock, but Sparkle is not your average actor. Case and point:

Sparkles love for the stage of acting and how it ties into her MADD:

🎇Who is Sparkle an actor for?

Herself.

Saying "she is so matriculated and dedicated because she is an actor" is only half way true.

Sparkle's love for acting and her maladaptive daydreaming are things that can coexist at the same time. (just like being a writer and MADD for ex. (yes, some of ur fav writers could have been MADD))

Which got born from which? We don't know but both are proof of how much she loves the other.

("But you said MADD develops from trauma or loneliness" YES!! And we still have no real idea about Sparkles backstory but ik damn well a "normal" person with an average fine life doesn't end up like Sparkle.)

(Also no, her character stories 1,2,3 and be at most half trusted as she says she makes them up for each individual both in her char. story 4 and a voice line.

They could either be total nonsense or parts and truths of her past but altered/heavily exaggerated and metaphorical. Pick ur fighter tbh.

"There are a few versions that are particularly popular." "Liking and believing are two different things, but people are more likely to believe in their favorite stories." "Lies? Come on, I'm not trying to tell a grand story or fabricate an eye-catching experience... I'm wholeheartedly exercising my imagination for my own sake."

She is basically toying with everyone who asks including the player for her own amusement and, honestly? Iconic.)

🌸She acts for her own entertainment.

Wealth, status, power... None of this matters to Sparkle. The only thing that can lure her interest is "amusement". (from her twt intro)

Her doing all this. Immersing herself into characters so deeply. It's all for herself and her own enjoyment. Just like MADD is for us and our own enjoyment and entertainment.

Not to be the greatest actor or for others recognizing her. In her introduction on twitter, she says: "I'm not exactly a person loaded with cool skills, and dreaming big isn't really my thing." Which says enough to contradict such ideas.

Yes, some MADD might go on to become writers or actors but some don't. And those who don't could still want to improve their characters FOR THEMSELVES because that will bring them more enjoyment, because they love what they do and their characters for one reason or other and want them to shine like they see them could.

🌸Sparkles elation is acting and MADD.

Elation: great happiness and exhilaration.

What makes her feel elation? Acting. What is her heavy immersive acting that is all for herself to feel elation intertwined with? Maladaptive daydreaming ✨

(wow, shocked, ik)

Sparkles Myriad Celestial Trailer: Behind the Curtain

Next, I want to talk about both her Myriad and Character Trailer through a MADD lens, starting off with her Myriad Celestial Trailer:

What struck a chord in me with it is her "conversation" with her mask. What is her mask really representing for her? The way I see it: it's her MADD and also, Sparkle.

At first she says it keeps on smiling even when she doesn't and that she can hide under it. While in reality we might not be able to smile all the time. Escaping into our daydreams through characters who can helps. The use of a veil to describe it can also be interpreted as choosing to hide your true emotions from yourself and others through emulating a characters happy emotions and state of mind.

Second, she says the mask imitates her face, her emotions, like a mirror showing her own reflection. When writers come up with characters, some might be similar to them through a degree with or without the creator even realizing. This can happen to MADD more since we are creating characters for ourselves and its a coping mechanism so emotions seep through unless we make a character/s that we want to share with others. It's also a way you can understand and grasp yourself better. In this particular setting, I think she means how through some characters she acted as (made by others) herself and emotions shines true,like that character and her acting were a mirror.

Third, it takes a darker turn, "when I'm smiling, you're screaming. When I'm angry, you're crying. When I'm sad, you're smiling". This could be her MADD taking a tool on her.

"When I'm smiling, you're screaming" like when you are content with reality but your addiction's screaming at you to be noticed, like an icky who wants to be scratched. The urge to do it despite not needing to.

"When I'm angry, you're crying" This is her "mask" empathizing with her, weeping for her anger and understanding it like no one else could.

"When I'm sad, you're smiling" this could be the situation from the first instance, but it takes a darker turn so I think the "mask" smiles because it knows that her sadness assures its existence.

Addiction is dependent on your sadness because you do it to comfort you through that sadness. Her acting and MADD is both her addiction and her elation.

From Sparkles tone, she might even be surprised at how, despite her deep sadness, the mask can still smile.

"You're like a face, steering at me" she says at the end. It brings back in mind the imagery of a mirror/reflection. But instead of a reflection, it's a different reflection, still a reflection, but not.

It reminds of when I see characters being depicted as steering into a mirror and they are smiling but their reflection reflects how they truly feel inside (emo ik)

I think that's what it's supposed to mean. Your true self steering at you, it's uncomfortable and penetrating.

Or maybe it's a blank face being unsurprised or just lacking any emotions or maybe the face itself is empty waiting to be drawn on an expression.

It's a very vague sentence, and I don't want to pretend like I 100% understand the meaning behind it, because it can be interpreted in very different ways and only an explanation by the one who said it can give us a sure answer. Maybe it's something we can't even understand with the info we currently have on her.

Overall, she holds positive feelings about her mask but she also recognizes it's kinda fcked up but she still chooses it at the end of the day for the elation it gives ("I am elation" ok girl.)

🌸In this section, I also want to come back to her:

Oh who is she?🎶~

Actually? Good question! :D

I think it was Sampo who commented that Sparkle's name is probably made up (which du uh)

But that is fascinating as well.

We see this girl at first in her trailer looking soft and innocent, nothing like the more.... eccentric person we know today.

If you look closely, she DOESN'T have the butterfly/flower(?) symbol in her eye at the start but she DOES at the end. Which to me represents how she and Sparkle were separate at the start.

"It doesn't matter how I am off stage.

When I'm on stage, I'm just Sparkle"

With the end of this video, this whole thing might be made up go, but that would be too pointless and annoyingly stupid so I'm inclined to believe she isn't fckin with us in this one. (for the most part)

That said, it seems like the girl Sparkle was before was performing for her love of acting, her madd, and for the audience.

But as time went on, doing all of this for an audience over and over lost its meaning (and probably drove her insane a little)

"When I realized that life was just a play, I wanted to leave the stage.

Because off stage, there is a even bigger stage"

Her acting, madd and elation shapes her way of seeing life and others. Why confine yourself to a stage when you can take yourself and your characters to the big stage of life itself and have fun with it the absolute bonkers way you want?

She is very much a Shakespeare truther, as he put it:

"All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances; And one man in his time plays many parts."

That's how her acting made Sparkle see things (to an extreme )

🌸Another thing is this scene:

"Im.... I'm not Sparkle

No, I am Sparkle"

Both in her Myriad and Character Trailer, she is actively conflicting with herself.

In this moment. She shows opposition to "Sparkle". The physical constraint is interesting imagery as well. Maybe she feels trapped by "Sparkle"? Like "Sparkle" is against her? Why is she? Because she doesn't allow her to be Sparkle(/herself/her true self)?

She separates herself from Sparkle at the start but becomes her after and laments that she isn't her than at the end, and only then, her eyes have the same symbol this big eyes have in the back (Sparkles) eyes and she becomes Sparkle.

Which, um, IS SO INTERESTING!??!?!?!

I think at the end, she gives into her want to be Sparkle and fully embraces it. Fully embraces the path of elation.

And I don't think Sparkle isn't her. I think it's still her, just more free, unrestrained version of herself that doesn't hold back when the rest of society those.

Think like how different someone with social anxiety disorder is when they feel comfortable with summon and lets out their weirdness for example. We hold back on many actions because of societal perception but she stopped giving a fck and WILL set up a hundred "bombs" on a ship to fck with people for her own amusement.

Seeing life as a stage comes with seeing the absurdism of if all and choosing to stop giving a sht and have your own fun and entertainment. Play the roles you want to play instead of playing the part.

🌸As for my take on this part?

Yeah, maybe the whole thing wasn't her true backstory, but I think it's not 100% false either. Or maybe it is and she sees it as her playing another role. The role of her past self how is so so different it's her own character at this point, right? :))

It sure was more realistic than all the other stories going on in the background (like come on, Harry Potter, Sparkle playing Herta)

"Who is the real Sparkle"

Maybe the answer is all of the Sparkles are Sparkle.

Am I gonna elaborate? Mmm, nope. :)

--------------------------------------------------------------

*cracks knuckles* OOOOOKKK this turned out quite long Jesus (never put me to write something about a fictional character in a few paragraphs, that's physically impossible for me)

Don't worry though, I'm probably gonna make a part two soon 🙃 (analyzing her Character Trailer, her design, her in game animations, who knows what ales, etc etc~) (no we are NOT done, we. are absolutely. NOT done.)

Soooo can you tell how much I like Sparkle? She lives rent free in my mind actually.

There isn't enough talk about her more deeply despite how MUCH there is to ponder on so I have to take it upon myself to do it 😮‍💨

If you made it here..... will you marry me?🥹💍

NAH NAH NAH JUST KIDDING 🤭

But if you did then thank you for giving me the time of day and I hope this post spark(l)ed some curiosity and interest into this little hedonistic gremlin! :D

(also no, I don't ignore, justify or support her racist remarks)

I do these posts mostly for myself but someone else to respond back is really nice! :,)

Ok, I'm signing off for this one. See ya in part two 👋:)

[robinismywifee]

stargazing || e. williams

pairings ellie williams x fem!oc/reader carl grimes x oc x enid rhee (platonic bffs) daughter!oc x father!daryl dixon

summary TWD & TLOU crossover, takes place in alexandria basically if the group never met negan, daryl and aaron find joel and ellie and bring them in, 16 y/o ellie, mention of a not that important death in season 6 of TWD

warnings NSFW, dom!ellie, fingering, pet names (babe), smoking weed, mentions of drinking, ellie & oc are both virgins

a/n im mainly saying oc instead of reader because im using a name for her, (aimees/aime) cause i hate writing y/n but feel free to pretend its your name instead! any feedback & notes are appreciated, you may send requests but they have to be TWD or TLOU charaters x reader otherwise i wont do them, (no promises in general) this is my first tumblr post still trying to figure tumblr, out sorry if i fucked it up or something, i also dont proof read so theres probably a couple mistakes sorry 😭

wordcount 7.5k

carl placed down a red uno card, i smiled at that, placing down my red 5, "uno!" i shouted, holding the card close to my chest so they couldnt peek, my smile was soon dropped as enid placed down a green 2, i stood up placing my card down, revealing my red 4 to them, "i already lost" i mumbled, "rage quiter" carl called me, "im not a rage quitter! im just done playing with cheaters" i crossed my arms

"you so are a rage quitter aimees!" enid exclaimed, "and you so are a cheater!" i exclaimed back, "how are we cheating?" carl asked, "uh, cause you guys just are" i shrugged

"yeah right" carl scoffed jokingly

i watched them as they finished playing their uno game, enid ended up winning, "what time is it?" enid asked as she collected the messy cards around the table and placed them in the box

"uhhh.." i stood up, peeking my head in the kitchen to check the clock, "9:45" i yawned, i had woken up at 5am to go on a run and my eyes were getting heavy, ive been waiting for dad to get back but he hasnt yet.

"i think im gonna head back" i said, one thing about me is that even after being here for almost a year now, i still havent gotten use to sleeping in a real bed, at night in a real house, and i still have yet to call where i was staying, 'my home'

"yeah, me too" enid stood up aswell, "uhm.. enid?" i asked her, she knew what i was about to ask immediately, i hated sleeping alone, anytime my dad was out, i would ask enid to sleepover with me

enid gave me a sad-eyed look, "im sorry amiees, but i told maggie and glenn i'd be home for tonight" i shook my head with a small smile, "no worries, goodnight enid" i waves her off, she gave me a slight nod before she existed the house

i walked into the kicthen, carl was placing the snacks away, "hey" i said, he looked over his shoulder, his white eyepatch covering his old wound, "hey, i thought you weny home, whats up?" he asked, turning to face me

"could you please stay with me tonight? daryl hasnt gotten back yet, and enid needed to get home" i asked, "yea, let me just write my dad a note" he nodded with a smile

-

"hey, aimees" i heard a voice shake me awake, the sudden touch made me shot up and pull out my pocket knife that was under my pillow, but i immediately put it down when i realized it was just carl

"shit, you scared me" i panted, placing my knife back under my pillow, "sorry, i didnt mean to, but its almost 6:30 and im pretty sure your dads home" he said, his eye was tired and his hair was scruffy, meaning he had just woken up, but the topic of my dad made me shot out of bed, only in my socks, pajama plaid pants, and a thickstrap white tanktop without a bra, carl wore a grey hanley shirt and sweatpants

i opened up my door and ran down the steps, my dad was in the kicthen, talking to some other people but i didnt really care about them or have time to see who it was, i just ran up to my dad and hugged him which he of course hug back

"fuck you, you said you'd be back in a day!" i exclaimed as i pulled away, "i know, im sorry aimees, the storm slowed us down" he replied looking down at me, i knew the reason why he took an extra day was because of the rain storm but i couldnt care less, i still worried the worse possible thing

"i dont really care dad, you still said a day" i said with my head tilted, i wasnt actually mad, and he knew that, i was just annoyed that it took longer then normal and missed him

"yeah, i know, i missed you too" he rubbed my back gently, "can we have breakfast together? or are you gonna go back out again" i asked, "uh.." he hummed, i sighed, thinking he had to go back out again, but his gaze was around the room and not on me, i thought maybe he was looking at carl, but im always with either him or enid when he gets back

i turned my head to see what he was looking at, 2 people i've never seen before stood awkwardly a couple feet away from me, there was a man about the same age as my dad, and a girl about my age, the girl wore a white tanktop similar to mine with a white bandage around her right arm, with black skinny jeans, and converse. she had a side bang and her brown hair in a ponytail

"uh-" i stood there for a moment, before looking back to my dad, "are these the people?" i asked, he nodded slightly, i glanced back over to them, and back at my dad, "why are they here?" i asked, over the months, my dad and aaron have been bringing people and even a whole community back, they never once came to our house right, i mean maybe a few says after to stop by and say thanks or whatever, but they had just gotten here and were standing in our kicthen, dirt and sweat stuck to their skin

"ricks still out with michonne so i was tellin them the rules, and you're gonna give ellie some of your clothes" he pointed briefly at the girl, i turned back around, i nodded, i turned my head back to see carl standing there awkwardly too, "im ellie" the girl waved, her face was red, she. must be hot, i went to intruduce myself but the girl bumped her elbow into the man, motioning for him to intruduce himself, "im joel" he said, "hi.. im carl" carl said, standing behind me, "im aime" i smiled, i was actually quite happy dad brought home a girl my age, although carl and enid denied them dating, i still felt like i was always third wheeling

"aimees, why dont you go show them to their house next door, i havent slept in days" i didnt have time to reply as he walked off

"okay.." i mumbled, i looked down to my pajamas hanging over my socks, "uh, could you guys give us a second?" i asked, looking at joel and ellie, joel gave a stern nod, i looked over at carl, grabbing his wrist and led him away with me, i could feel the girls eyes on me as i left.

"i hated meeting new people before the dead started walking, and i hate it even more now" i whispered to carl as we walked up the steps, "yeah, i can tell" he said sarcastically, i shoved him as he hit the wall which made us both laugh

carl changed in my bathroom, as i changed in my room, putting on jeans, a bra, my shoes, and my holster with my gun and knife

"you coming with me to give them a tour right?" i asked carl, looking at him, "nah" he shrugged, i hit his shoulder, "yes you are" i yelled whispered, before we entered the kitchen, joel was in the same spot, while ellie was close up at an old family photo of me, my dad, and my mom

"sorry for the wait, we just woke up" i spoke, causing ellie and joel to look up from my sudden voice, "lets go" i nodded, as they followed me out my house

"uh, so, your guy's house is right next to mine" i said as i began to walk up the steps of the empty house, "hey aimees, im gonna go see if enid and maggie need help with the fence" he said from behind joel and ellie, ellie glanced at carl, but joels eyes stayed locked on ellie, i slowly died inside when he said that, i could tell ellie was looking at me but i still flipped off carl as he walked away with a smirk

"so where you guys from?" i asked, "houston" joel answered, that explains the accent, "boston" ellie answered, i looked at them confused, "oh you guys arent father and daughter? how do you know each other?" i asked, "long story" ellie answered, "okay, well, i mean.. this is your house, uhh, i dont think theres any blankets in your bedrooms and theres not any food, clothes or shower stuff, so you guys can like, i dont know, get situated? while i ran around alexandria and collect you guys a bunch of shit" i shrugged, unsure of what else to say

they both nodded, "ill try not to take to long, ill be back in maybe 30 minutes?" i said, unsure myself of how long it would take, "okay, thank you aime" joel nodded, "oh, uh, i know i introduced myself as aime but actually call me aimees, nobody calls me aime its actually kinda weird.. okay, see you" i said as i speed walked out the house

i walked in my house and let out the biggest sigh.

that was the most awkwardest thing ever.

i walked to my room, and took out about half my clothes for ellie, she only had a small school bookbag, so she probably only had a pair of underwear and some socks in there, if she was gonna live here now, she needed clothes

i folded them up, i was giving her my dark blue tanktop with spaghetti straps that was starting to fade, a grey tanktop with thick straps, a tan hanley that was too tight to fit me, a plaid flannel, light blue jeans, jean shorts, plaid pajama pants, 2 pairs of underwear, a black bra, and a pair of thick white socks. i hope thats good enough

i grabbed a basket and set everything in it, i opened the closet next to my bathroom, placing body washes, shampoos, and conditioners in the basket, along with 2 toothbrushes, 2 things of toothpaste, and a razor and tampons for ellie

i figured i'd drop what i had off right now since they we're probably dying for a shower, plus the basket was over flowing

i knocked on there door, but nobody came, i went to knock again but a voice from inside came- "COMING!" i could tell by the voice that it was ellie, as joels is 10 times deeper and has no emotion

i waited for a moment before the door opened, "hi ellie" i greeted, she stood there looking at me for a moment, she seemed she was deep in thought, "oh! sorry, come in" she said, opening the door wider, i smiled walking in, she shut the door behind me, "i- i dont have everything right i just brought clothes and shower stuff since i figured that was probably the first thing you would want to do, and while your showering i was gonna get the rest" i said, basket in hand

"oh- right- yeah, thank you" she said, taking the basket from me, "i didnt bring any clothes for joel cause i dont know where to get him any and my dad was asleep, but ill work on finding him stuff" i added, she nodded looking up at me, "hes passed out right now, and probably will be for the rest of the day" she shrugged, i laughed at her saying it so serious, she laughed with me, "okay, well, enjoy your shower.. im supposed to tell you to not use up too much hot water, but knock yourself out, i mean, i know on my first day i did" i said before i left her house

-

its been a 3 days since ellie and joel joined alexandria, ellie hasnt really gone outside at all, i havent really seen her since the first day of her being here, only through our windows, our rooms are both upstairs and our windows face eachother, they have blinds but i didnt realize her room was the one across from mine until i was about to sneak out of my window for a smoke the other night

joel been out a lot more then ellie, asking ways to help out, joel was scary, i avoided him, but to be fair, i avoided everyone who wasnt from the orginal group or who wasnt in alexandria when we got there

just like deanna had done for us way back at the start, carol was throwing a welcome party for ellie and joel, i knew carol didnt really care for them joining us, it was just her way of making herself seem like an innocent sweetheart. i admired her tactics, but i definitely was not looking forward to it.

"you guys are going to the party right?" i asked carl and enid, "my dads gonna make me" carl answered, i looked over to enid, she shrugged, "i dont know"

carl smiled, as we both looked at enid for an answer, "still don't know if ill go, i always thought it was stupid and weird when deanna had them and now carols having them?" enid said, "okay well, youll be missing out" i sighed

-

here i was, walking to the house with open doors and music pouring out of it, my dad was by my side, "you know, ellies also 16, you should try to be friends with her" he said, "yea, yea, yea, i know thats the only thing youve been telling me for the past 2 weeks, 'oh youll love her, you guys would be best friends, she annoys the shit out of this guy like how you annoy the shit out of me'" i mocked my dads deep voice, thinking back to how he would come back from spying on them to see if they were safe and tell me about ellie

"she hasnt come out of her shell yet, but i do really think you'd make a great pair" he said as we walked into the house, "im gonna go get a drink and find rick, go find ellie" he pushed me into the crowd, i scoffed, he acts like hes social when i know damn well the only people he'll be talking to is rick and carol.

i searched the crowd for carl, i couldnt find him but i did see ellie with her arms crossed talking with joel, she looked so uncomfortable and so did he, god do i feel bad

i walked through the crowd, making my way to them, while i was making my way to them, some people pulled joel away to get a drink- or whatever adults do

ellie looked clueless

"hey" i said, placing a hand on her shoulder to let her know i was there over the loud music, she jumped and looked at me, "oh, hi" she said, i could hear the nervousness in her voice, "im sorry about all this, you're practically being forced to go somewhere you dont want go to and forced to talk with people you dont know, i told rick and carol you guys werent the party type but they insisted it was the 'polite thing to do'" i explained, putting airquotes for my last words

ellie seemed to soften a bit at my words, "uh- yea, its just super weird going to a party when 5 days ago you were sweating your ass off trying to find a place to stay the night" she said, looking around, "yeah, trust me, i know how you feel, we didnt create this place, me and my group got taken in by aaron and his boyfriend, the leader at the time was named deanna, she threw a party for us too, and when she died, the leader of my group took over to be the leader of alexandria.. rick" i explained

"wheres your boyfriend?" ellie randomly asked, i furred my brows, "what?" i asked, "uh, the one with the long hair and eyepatch" she asked, "carl?" i asked in a high pitch questioning voics, "oh, yeah, carl" she nodded, "carl?" i asked again, she thinks im dating carl? "yeah?" she asked confused, "oh god, me and carl are like siblings, never in infinity years would we ever date! im gonna puke just thinking of that!" i exaggerated, "oh sorry, its just, my first day here, you guys came out of the same room together in your pajamas and stuff"

"oh! yea, he just slept over, i hate being alone" i explained, "me too" she said with a smile, "sorry, but can we please go somwhere else? i cant stand this crowd" i asked, she nodded, i took her hand in mine, dragging her through the crowd until i found carols bedroom, she wouldnt mind us being in here

"what do you like? any hobbies?" i asked, sitting on the edge of carols bed, ellie sat down next to me, "i love comics, joel somehow finds the best ones, and i have a notebook that i write and draw in" she said happily, "oh no shit? i love comics and drawing too!" i said back with a smile

"so have you and joel been with each other for awhile? he seems pretty protective over you" i asked, "just like, 3 years, but i cant imagine my life without him" she smiled, "i cant imagine my life without my dad, or without a lot of the orginal group, like rick, glenn, carl, carol, maggie, michonne, half the people here are my family"

-

i spent the whole night talking with ellie, she was actually really nice and funny, we told eachother a bunch of our crazy/scary stories from over the years, and what it was like for life before it

carl and enid never showed up, i told her a lot about them, more so carl since me and carl have been together since the start, we grew up together and i dont know what i would do if he died

but we had stayed after hours not realizing the party ended, still in carols room, she opened the door with an exhausted look, she didnt notice us, me and ellie side eyed eachother before we bursted out laughing

that seemed to be a reoccurring occurrence between the two of us, we both kept on bursting out laughing at stupid stuff

but at the sight of ellie, carol put on her sweetheart face again, "oh! girls, im sorry i didnt know you were in here" she said, bringing a hand to her chest, "the parties over?" i asked, after calming down from laughter, "yes, it just ended, and joel was looking for you ellie, you better get back home before he starts to worry more" carol said with a smile, "yeah, thanks for the party mrs.." ellie said as we stood up, "just call me carol, oh and you too aimees, daryl was wandering around for you" she smiled with a nod

and with that me and ellie left her house, as soon as we got out of her house i let out a giggle, "its the end of the world and you're still worried about manners?" i thought outloud, thinking back to how she tried to call carol mrs, "hey! you never know, some adults are really strict about that stuff" she defended

"okay, i guess ill see you tomorrow?" i asked, as we made it infront of her house, "yea sound-" ellie was interrupted with joel yelling her name, "ellie! i looked everywhere for you! where were you? i havent seen you since the party started-"

i just smiled at joels protectiveness and slipped myself away and went back to my house

"hey dad" i smiled, seeing him on the couch, "oh good, i was waiting for you to come back so i could sleep" he said getting up, "you seem happy?" he questioned, i hated parties, so this was weird that i was smiling a bunch after one, "yeah! i hung out with ellie the whole time, shes really funny! i really like her" i said with a hudge grin, "told you, you'd like her" he nodded, not supprised

"so was it just the two of you or was carl and enid there? i didnt see them tonight" he asked, now leaning against the kitchen counter, "just us, i have no idea where carl and enid are, which kind of sucks since i wanted ellie to meet them, but also its good because i really enjoyed hanging out with her alone" i said, my voice bright from talking with ellie for hours

"im glad you had fun" he nodded with a smile, "oh! do you wanna know what! now when i hangout with carl and enid, ellie will be there, so i dont have to third wheel, i mean they were always being so gross infront of me like complimenting each other and stuff, like ew, and now me and ellie can be grossed out together!" i said happily, my dad laughed, "im glad we found ellie and joel too, can you please tell me more in the morning over breakfast? im ready for bed"

"yea, of course, goodnight dad, i love you" i said, giving him a quick hug, "love you sweetheart, get to bed too, its way past when you should be asleep" he said, kissing me on my head, "yea.. yea, whatever" i mumbled sarcasticly as he walked to his bedroom

i turned off the lights and went to my bedroom, i unbuttoned my jeans and went to pull them off when i felt something in my pocket, i sighed, forgetting i had it, as i pulled out the bag of joints

this would have been perfect for me and ellie, would of been 10x funner.

but, i wasnt tired, and now that i was holding up the rolled up cannabis, i really, really wanted it.

i thought about carl and enid, enids never been high before, but me and carl have a few times, and i don't even know where they are. maybe i can have just one joint to myself..

another thing i do on nights when im not tired, is go to my roof and look at the stars, usually while i smoke cigarettes but weeds even better.

i looked out my window to see that the sky was clear, i smiled to myself, i walked over and turned off my lamp, okay, only one. i placed the other two joints in the bag in between my folded shirt in my dresser, letting the one joint hang in between my lips

i opened up my window, cringing at the squeeked noise, i stuck my legs out, letting myself fall onto the roof, i climbed to the back of my house still on the roof so i was facing the big fence and not out in the open, the only way people would be able to see me is if someone specifically looked in my direction through ellies window

i pulled out my lighter and lit the weed, sucking the toxins into my lungs before blowing out

i sat there for a couple minutes looking at the stars above me, they always fasanated me, i looked to the moon, it was a full moon tonight, of maybe it was a just a full waning or waxing gibbous, i dont know to be honest

the sound of a window opening drawed my attention, i shot my head to the sound, joint in between my lips, to see ellie climbing out of her window

i watched as she hopped onto her roof, shutting her window, and hopped from her roof to mine, as our houses were really close together, she let out a pant, from being out of breath

"hey" she said as she stood there above me, she had already changed into pajamas, wearing plaid baggy ones that were too long for her, ones that were previously mine, and she wore the grey thick strapped tanktop i had also given her

her hair was down, something ive never seen of ellie, some of her auburn hair was over shoulders while some was on her back, they reached a couple inches unde her shoulders and her eyes glistened in the moonlight

"uh, aimees? you barley smoked any of that, you good?" she asked with a smile on her face, "oh, yea, im-" i started saying, realizing i just stared at her, but i spoke really loud as i talked not realizing how loud i was being, "shh! come on, i dont want joel or your dad to wake up" she whisper shouted

"right, sorry" i whispered back, she came over to me and sat down, "can i?" she asked, reaching her hand out, i passed her the joint, and watched her as she looked up to the sky, while taking a long drag of it, she closed her eyes as she sucked it, enjoying the feeling

my eyes were beading onto her, watching every detail on her face, the way her eyebrows slightly scrunched as she sucked in, or how she squeezed her eyes, how her soft pink lips fitted against the rolling paper. i was so close to her our shoulders were brushing against each other, and i noticed things about her that i havent noticed before, she had beautiful green eyes, ive noticed her eyes being not brown before, but now i could actually see what color they were, and her freckles complimented her face so well, they danced all around her cheeks and the tip of her button nose. i even got to exaime her brown eyebrows, i could see the slit she had through it, her eyebrows were also pretty straight, but they looked so perfect on her. her side profile was honestly the best ive ever seen in my whole life. the way her lips moved out, how her adorable nose arched perfectly and how- wait are her lips moving?

"aimees?" she asked, okay yeah they were, "sorry, what?" i asked, looking into her eyes, "you zoned out on me again" she commented, "sorry its just, you look really pretty" i said, still mesmerizing her in a trance, she turned to me, i could see her cheeks turning a shade of pink, before she looked back infront of us

thats kind of weird, i mean, i was just saying she looked pretty, i say that to enid all the time and she just compliments me back or says thanks, but ellie got flustered for some reason and tried to hide her face with no comments

we passed the weed arond in silence for a moment, "you do this a lot?" she asked, "usually just with cigarettes, but i got lucky and found this on a run a few weeks ago.. i love the stars"

"i love the moon" she remarked, i looked to her with a smile on my face, "if i could anywhere i'd go there" she said, looking at the moon above her, "can i come with?" i asked, she turned to me, our faces inches apart, "yeah but.. be aware, joels coming too, and hes a big grump sometimes" she answered, i laughed at that, giggling as i rested my forehead on her shoulder to contain myself, i hear giggles come from her too

"okay, shh, shh we have to be quiet" i whispered, leaning back up to face her, "youre telling me to be quiet? youre the one who started laughing!" she said with a smile as the joint hung between her fingers, "urhg, give me that" i said, taking the joint from her and puffing a few

"its not my fault, you make me laugh more then like, anyone ive ever met" i said after a couple seconds in silence, "really?" she asked looking back to me, "mhm" i nodded, letting out another giggle at nothing, which caused ellie to giggle with me too, we fell onto eachother laughing up a storm, "oh! oh my god! i cant breath!" ellie said inbetween laughs, "stop!" i cried, gripping her thigh for support, trying to catch my breath

we kept on laughing like that for probably too long, after a few minutes, i ended up even closer then before, our laughter dying down but smiles still held on our faces

"whats your last name?" i asked her out of the blue, which caused us to laugh a little some more, "williams?" she sid in a questioning tone, "w-why did you say it like that? are you sure thats your last name or did you make it up because-"

"no! no! thats real, my last name is williams, i was just- cause you asked so randomly!" she explained, "okay, well, ellie williams, you-" i said, pointing at her and using a tone for the word you, "-are my new favorite person"

"and you- aime-" she stopped for a moment, "whats your last name?" she whispered, "dixon" i whispered back, "you! aime dixon, are my new favorite person" she said, usuing a tone and pointing at me for you like i did, but usuing a tone and pointing at herself for me

this caused us both to laugh again, i guess weed made us a bit giggly, we seemed to be eliciting laughter not matter what

"you know what we should do?" i asked, "hmm?" she hummed, i took a puff a weed, noticing it was almost all gone, "we should get married"

i noticed her cheeks start to turn red, "i mean, how could i not want to marry you! look how cute you are with your blushing" i said with a hudge smile, "i accept, mrs williams" ellie said to me with blush still wearing her face, "aime williams! hm, i like the sound of that!" i laughed

"hey, i have idea" i said, looking down at the blunt, "yea wife?" she asked, "my dear husband, we could finish this joint in one puff, shall i shotgun it to you?" i asked with a smirk, "first of all, wife, im your wife, secondly, i dont know what that is" she deadpanned, i let out a couple giggles from her

"okay, well if im the wife, how can you be the wife? anyways, why dont i just show you what a shotgun is?" i offered, still smirking, "hmm, okay fine" she said with a smile, unsure with what was to come

i smirked devilishly, i blew the rest of the joint into my mouth, before flicking it off the house, i brought my hands to ellies face, moving her face to mine, my eyes were closed but i could tell she was blushing

ellies mouth was slightly ajar in shock, so i blew the smoke into her mouth, the feeling of her warm, soft, silk lips, her nose tickling with mine and the way my stomach was attacking itself with a swarm of butterflies from us touching like this

the weed did something to me, because i couldnt help myself, and without any thoughts, only the feeling of want, i pressed my lips more firm to hers, and moved them onto hers, my lips were dancing on hers and she didnt move.

i lifted my lips up for a split second, releasing the smoke from our mouths, i pulled away, realizing what i had just done, my eyes started to feel with tears looking down at her, my hands still holding her face, only inches away. i was so goddamn embarrassed and mad at myself. why the fuck would i do that? i dont even like girls, im not gay, and i definitely dont like a girl i just met 4 days ago. it had to be the weed because im not a lesbian, and judged by the complete silence between us, and ellies face, she isnt eithe-

my angered thoughts were interrupted as ellie leaned into me, tilted her head as she pressed her blushed face to mine, now our lips danced together, i could smell her breath, it smelt of mint toothpaste and marijuana, but i wanted more of it, i wanted to taste it

as ellies hands gripped my shoulders, and mine gripped her face, i brushed my tongue against her lips, getting a slight taste of her, she didnt open her mouth, so i took my left hand from her cheek and placed it on her waist, rubbing her skin and plulling her closer to me, the sudden contact made her mouth open slightly, and i took that as an opportunity to slip my tongue into hers

not only was the smell of marijuana filling my nose, but the smell of the shampoo i gave her was lingering, i think the scent was lavander, either way, it smelt good, delicious, and i wanted even more

i honestly was starting to feel lightheaded and dizzy, so i pulled away for a moment, i sucked in the air to catch my breath, but my mouth was covered again by ellies lips

this time, her tongue filled my mouth, our tongues danced, as i started to fall backwards from her leaning on me, i felt so carried away and a feeling i never felt before filled my body

i pulled away from her, standing up and dragging her up with me, we had our foreheads pressed together, panting, "come on" i whispered, as i looked into her red eyes, i pulled away from our embrace, taking her hand in mind, pulling her to the side of my window, i climbed in first, helping her climb in too

once she got in, i shut the window and shut the blinds, our light pants cramming the room, i turned around to for a pair of hands pressing against my waist and shoving me against the wall, i was met once again with her lips

i couldn't help, from the sudden action, and melting deep into the kiss, and the feeling of her hands rubbing on me, i let out a small moan into her mouth, i hadnt realized it until it already left

my cheeks went red from embarrassment, hoping she didnt hear, but she pulled away, i couldnt bare to look her in her eyes, i stared at the ground, looking down at our socked feet on the carpet

ellies right hand moved off of my waist, i thought she was about to freak out and leave or something, but she placed a hand on my chin, and lifted it so my face was forced to meet hers, i expected her face to be filled with disgust, but she had a smirk on her face, her freckled cheeks bright red

"dont be shy, you have a pretty voice" she whispered, butterflies formed my heat. not my stomach, but below.

i looked at her dumbfounded, i never felt this way before. i didnt know what was going to happen after all this, what me and ellies relationship would be by tomorrow, i didnt know if i was gay- but i did know that i wanted more of her touch, i wanted to feel her touch, not only on me, but in me.

i pulled pulled the back of her neck onto my face to be met with mine, our kiss even more passionate then before, my knees felt so weak, like i could collapse at any moment, so my hands were balled into a fist gripping her tankop. her hands were squeezing my skin, i couldnt help it, i wanted to feel more of her skin

i lifted my left hand from her tanktop, and lowered them to the hem of it, before i stuck my hand underneath, trailing my hand against her skin, i stopped once my hand got to her bra, unsure of how far she wanted this to go, but her hand lifted from my waist and pulled my wrist up and underneath her bra, allowing me to feel her shape and soft skin

instead of ellies hand resting back on my waist, she snaked it under my jeans, and i felt her squeeze my ass, i had to pull away from our kiss as i let out a grunt, it would have probably came out a moan if i didnt keep my mouth squeezed shut and tried to hold it

we made out rubbing eachother for a few moments before ellies hand slid out of my jeans, i was disappointed until i felt her hands yank at the waist of my jeans, they were still unbuttoned so all she did was slid them off of me, i broke our kiss to step out of them

ellies hands went straight to the back of my bare theighs, "jump" she grunted, her voice deep and raspy, i did what she said, i jumped so my legs were wrapped around her waist as she still held me up by my theighs

as we shared a sloppy yet passionate kiss, i felt my back lift from the wall, ellie brough us across the room, and i felt myself get dropped into my bed

i could see ellie from the moon that lit our room, she crawled ontop of me, hovering over me as our hands and lips connected once again to eachother

she trailed her kiss to my jawline, i felt like i was to explode, i tilted my head so she could get more of my neck

i shouldnt be doing this, but i want to, but dads downstairs, hes asleep, but im high, we both are

my own thoughts fought eachother, i tried to bring myself to stop it, but i couldnt.

my fingertips rested on the fabric of ellies tanktop, i pulled her away for a moment, pulling off the grey top over her head, my eyes went straight to her body, and god did i feel faint.

she had a grey calvin klein sports bra on, my mouth was starting to water.

ellies hands went to my tanktop, i lifted my arms so that she could pull them over my head, i was nervous, especially since i didnt have a bra on, but i wanted it too much to stop

ellie and i stared at eachothers bodies for a moment, she leaned back in and connected her lips straight to my sweetspot of my neck, at the same time her hand went and messaged my boob, ellie was doing things to me because i couldn't even hold in my moans anymore

ellie left a trail of bruises down my neck as she went down more, and connected her lips to my nipple, my hand went to the back of her hair, squeezing her roots, right when i did so i could faintly hear ellie moan into my skin- she likes hair pulling, noted

ellie kissed my one breast and messaged my other, as i squirmed under her holding her hair

"ellie.." i whisper-moaned. "yea, babe?" she mumbled through her kisses, i felt hotter from her nickname, "please.." i whispered, i couldnt handle it anymore

ellie brought her hand and rested it between my legs, but it was inches away from my core, i squeezed my thighs together to try to make some sort of friction, but ellie moved her hands and pressed my knees away from eachother, "please what?" she asked in a dominant voicd, she obviously knew what i wanted, but wanted to hear me say it

"please-" i tried to get a full sentance out in one go, but that was near impossible, my fingertips rested on ellies pants, streching the fabric wanting them off, i was completely topless and had my pants off, yet ellie had a bra on and pants

ellie got off of me for a moment, taking her pants off, which i silently thanked her in my head for, "please what?" she asked again, her voice more raspy then before, "touch me" i moaned, she smirked, leaning in and kissing me again, i missed her lips and the taste of them

she rubbed her hand up slowly, her finger brushing against my cunt. without even thinking, my hand shot to ellies hand that was in between my theighs, and pushed it more towards it

as ellie grunted, she moved my underwear to the side, letting her fingers drag along my slit, "this wet for me baby?" she panted, "all for you" i replied, instantly connecting our lips after

ellie teased me, tracing her fingers up and down my wetness, i sunk my hips down more, trying to get more, ellie broke our kiss with a small laugh, she gave my lips another sweet kiss before she pulled away from my face, i looked up at her confused but my confused face was shortly changed to arousal, as she slipped her middle finger partly inside me

she slowly pumped her finger more into me, causing my head to go back on my pillow, ive touch myself before, but nobody had ever touched me, this was a complete new experience for me

as she pumped them in and out, i felt her start to grind her hips onto my theigh, all the fricton, i started to let out more and more moans, my mouth was closed so they werent as loud

i felt her add her ring finger in me, and curling them around my walls, her hips grinding with more pressure,i let my jaw fall, and furred my eyebrows as i moaned, ellies hand went straight to my mouth, covering any noises that escaped.. i realized for a split second that- oh that was really loud and could of easily woke up my dad- but the feeling of her fingers twirling around in me made me instantly forget about it

i couldnt help but start to grind onto her fingers, rocking my hips up and down. ellies hand slowly moved off of my mouth to grip on my hip, letting out a moans with me, her voice was so hot it made me even wetter. she then moved her hand down even more, i thought it couldnt get any better but she started to rub my clit

"mmfpph.. ell- ellie- i-" i screched, i felt my stomach tie into a tight knot, my body froze as i squeezed my eyes, while my hips stopped moving, ellies hands only sped up, and her hips started to move faster, practically jumping up and down on me, "ellie" i whinned, my eyes rolling back as i felt myself release, ellie grinded on me until her hips froze, "hh- hfphmhmm"ellie moaned, also coming to a finish, i watched her as she leaned her head back, mouth ajar, eyebrow's squishing together.

the room was filled with heavy pants- our chests going up and down as if we just had a near death experience

we stared at eachother trying to catch our breaths, ellies hair was clouding all around her face, her hair falling to her shoulders, really messy compared to how it was an hour ago, in which it was neatly brushed

ellie looked so beautiful, but there were two things i realized as i stared at her

1. we are still high as shit

2. ellie williams, a girl i met a few days ago, just fucked me

[whumpitisthen]

hello i am here to ask about your oc grim. i am not zi

Hello not zi i am so excited to introduce you to my rat bastard!

Grim is literally the Grim Reaper. Like actually. He is also a vampire! A very dramatic, thespian, sadistic, scary individual. He likes going on murder sprees. He likes causing problems on purpose and annoying people, as he finds joy in being virtually untouchable by most others on the account of being a deity. He especially likes bothering people who are also powerful and like bullying the weak, but who are not quite powerful enough to talk back and banter with someone who can kill them in a second with the single touch of a finger. Oh yeah, he can kill by merely touching someone, he just enjoys carnage a lot more! It's more challenging and fun to go up one against a thousand, and way more traumatising for those who witness his slaughter in person (Auden. Auden is forever scarred). He does occasionally perform the Kiss of Death i guess, as he is a romantic and simply can't help being slimy and gross about it. A gentle death, all things considered, to die from a kiss

As for appearance, i have been working on a drawing of him, but the issue is that ive worked on it for so long that every time i look at it i hate it more, so its just in perpetual limbo forever. BUT, until i finally post it, i can just describe him!

He has very long silver, near white hair he keeps in a messy ponytail that starts off decent, but gets worse as the day goes on bc hes feral and rabid. He is in all long, flowy black clothing, as he has to stay on theme. Usually a long coat and tall boots, as that is his 'work' outfit (i.e. the stuff he wears to do war and murder and death and crimes) as well as a mask resembling some kind of an Animal's skull. I haven't actually chosen what kind of animal (or maybe i have? I think i landed on a canine skull) but i do actually have some sketches of actual animal skulls i made for ideas that i can show :3

I also thought about having it be like a plague doctor type deal with a bird skull instead but i already have The Doctor (another bastard character of mine), and if anyone, they should have the honor of wearing a mask like that

He also of course has a big heavy scythe, and black tendrils of smoky magic surrounding him when hes extra rabid, which cloaks him and makes him look like the cursed shadow of a dead animal, possibly a hyena if you take into account his unhinged cackling. Only when hes in the mood for killing murder and homicide, otherwise hes mostly shadow magic free

He wears a lot of silver jewellery, which does in fact burn him as he is quite the unholy creature of night; he just doesn't care. If asked about it, hell say its cause he likes how silver looks. (spoiler: the real reason is that he is Absolutely a masochist but you didn't hear that from me, that chapter is still in the works o_o) He has one hand thats just completely charcoal black, and he has black markings running across the skin of his entire body up to his chin, and there are two reasons for that:

When he became the embodiment of death the black magic possessing him cursed/burned him and now he just Looks Like That

I find tattoos incredibly hot, especially covering the neck. Very attractive

Hes also like. A tall guy. For a human hes big lanky tall, like 2 metres (thats around 6'6 apparently) however hes also usually in Hell, and demons can grow to all kinds of insane heights, be it rly tiny or hugely massive. Despite that, even demons triple his height built like a tank and weighing about as much find him to be incredibly unnerving, and instinctually become wary and careful around him. He has that effect on people he's in one room with; some kind of magical aura that causes even the wildest forest around him to become deathly silent upon his arrival. but he's also just kinda. Infamous. Like its hard to find someone who doesn't know who he is, its like trying to find someone in europe or the us whos never heard of jesus or god before. You could maybe find a few people like that, but its very unlikely. So not many walk up to him ready to obliterate him, however much they may want to. He likes looking down on people as much as he likes looking up at massive shit brick houses trying their damnedest to stare him down and assert dominance, not really succeeding. He prides himself on being the most menacing thing around, and not only regarded with fear by the weakest, but also awakening rare terror inside the hearts of the strongest, who aren't used to being on the recieving end of Anything bad. He almost finds it more fun than dunking on those that are already at the bottom of the food chain.

Hes also just a silly goofy guy :) just a silly smiley guy :) its probably why so many interpretations of the grim reaper have a human skull for a head :) its cause hes so silly and so smiley :)

Not Even God Will Be Able To Save You If You Manage To Truly Ruin His Mood :)

And as a last little fun fact, he has a tendency to just. Show Up. Just spawn next to you. Behind you. You could blink and congratulations, suddenly hes in your face and youve died from a heart attack. He just kinda appears, and then hes there. Like imagine youre a big scary demon lord, in a massive mansion, locked behind many walls and doors, guards patrolling every corner, feared by many. you walk into your very safe bedroom, ready to relax. And hes just. there. No one saw him enter. No one will notice when he leaves. Hes just laying on your couch like an asshole, reading your diary. What do you even do about this

You can read about him in Auden's story! He is one of Auden's whumpers! He's gonna be in the forefront in the newest chapter im writing (as well as another surprise mystery guest that will finally be introduced 👀) so be ready for that releasing any time between tomorrow and two weeks from now :-)

[vacantgodling]

this year was one of the first years in a long time that i TRULY committed myself to writing any and everything that i thought of and it’s been a really good feeling. so starting from this year, i wanna have a little year in review so i can look back and reminisce on how much i actually did cuz sometimes it’s hard to tell lol.

TOTAL WORDS WRITTEN (january — december 2023)

139,345 (as of 11/30 (google docs only))

i’ve written more probably, but my notes app is harder to keep track of word counts in. this total is also across all pieces of prose and poetry, though poetry isn’t a significant number lol

if this was all in one piece i’d probably have a full novel already lmao 💀

LONGEST SINGLE PIECE

paramour chapter 9 — masquerade, clocking in at 5,894 words

WIP THAT HAS MADE THE MOST HEADWAY BY THE NUMBERS

paramour is sitting pretty at 30k-ish words written overall (including me writing chapter 20 twice lol)

WIP THAT HAS MADE THE MOST HEADWAY BY THE HEART

definitely cage. i’ve had this fanfiction and wip for years and the fact that i’d finished the full outline like last year but didnt start writing it until now and how much headway ive made in such little time… i’m really proud of myself. i can’t wait to actually finish this bitch

TOP PIECES WRITTEN THIS YEAR

Worthless War -> the cherry on top, best thing i’ve written this year and probably in general for a long time.

Come To Bed -> when i lost my mind about buddy daddies earlier this year, this fic really encapsulated everything i felt about the show. i love the narration, i love how it’s fun and playful but also deep, and i remember having so much fun writing it.

Paramour Chapter 20 “Careless Whisper” -> the rewrite of chapter 20 i am UNREASONABLY obsessed with and it’s a shame i can’t post it here without giving so so so much away. i love it so much i am willing to share it with those who don’t care about spoilers lol but its smutty and emotionally charged and everything perfect about amon and hya’s fucked up mess

A Fool’s Errand -> this is in the role swap amon and hya au and tbh this au is So Fun to me. getting to be in amon’s head more often is definitely a treat and the description of the make out is PEAK

Good Feeling -> i will never be normal about hue and jihan and i think i captured their relationship esp in the early days perfectly so i’m just gonna cry about it

Ritual -> i really love this piece and giving life again to some old ocs meant a lot to me. + the smut 🤌🏾🤌🏾

Distraction -> no one knows or cares about these ocs but me and that’s okay i’ll just be feral about them on my own 😭

GOALS FOR NEXT YEAR

reach 150k words written overall

finish cage like it’s GOING to happen i will it

finish the first draft of paramour!!!

[these-are-in-the-bible]

The following words are in the bible:

0, 1, 9, a, about, above, add, again, all, allow, already, also, am, an, and, another, appearing, are, as, ask, asked, asks, at, babe, baby, bad, base, be, beast, beautiful, because, been, before, berry, black, bot, broth, brown, business, but, butter, by, can, cannot, car, care, cat, chain, change, cheese, choke, choose, chose, colour, come, complete, cook, could, course, court, crashing, crime, d, daily, dash, day, death, deep, delight, demon, desire, did, disguise, dish, dishes, do, doctor, doors, down, drive, due, during, each, eat, eating, endeavour, enjoyed, enough, enter, entire, epic, escaping, establishment, ever, every, evil, executioner, faces, failed, fall, fear, felt, finally, fine, finest, first, folks, following, for, forced, forest, found, four, free, full, garlic, get, getting, give, given, giving, glad, go, goes, going, got, guard, guards, guest, guilty, had, happened, has, have, he, head, help, here, hi, him, his, hope, how, human, i, if, ill, im, immediately, in, ink, instead, into, is, it, its, ive, juice, just, keep, kill, killing, kisses, knife, know, last, learning, leaves, led, lemon, let, like, little, long, look, loose, lots, love, magic, make, man, many, may, me, meal, meant, mess, miss, moment, more, morning, most, much, murders, my, name, naturally, nature, need, never, new, next, no, not, nothing, now, number, oc, of, offered, oh, oil, ok, olive, on, once, one, only, option, or, our, out, own, paper, peel, people, person, piece, planet, please, post, posts, pour, prepare, presented, prev, price, print, printed, promise, proud, provide, pull, punish, quick, rather, recommended, refuse, remembering, request, returning, rice, s, sacrificing, saffron, salt, same, saw, second, see, seen, sees, send, sentence, separate, serve, serves, serving, set, setting, several, shadow, shave, she, shit, shot, show, simple, single, sir, site, slowly, small, so, something, sometimes, son, sona, special, speedy, spotted, sprinkle, standard, still, stir, stock, suits, swear, tag, talking, tap, taste, tell, that, the, them, then, these, they, thing, this, those, thread, time, times, to, top, topped, train, trial, trick, turn, turning, twice, u, up, ur, url, us, version, virgin, want, was, wastes, watching, we, well, what, when, which, who, wild, will, wise, with, within, working, would, write, years, yes, yet, you, your

Beep boop! I'm sort of a bot. Some of these words are only partially in the bible!

glad that im not popular enough to have an evil shadow version of my blog that exists just to make contradictions on my posts

[unlimitedtrees]

a build from mid 2015 of my old game 'Mr. Waffle Lover', and why everyone should archive their work

hello. this is gonna be a quick little post to talk about something. as you might already know. i've been making games since 2014. one of my Very First projects was a game called 'Mr. Waffle Lover'. i have a Lot to talk about it, but i want to save that for later. For now, i have something else i need to talk about.

So. this project was/is pretty important to me. it was one of the first things i made Ever, before i was even called 'Unlimited Trees' and before i was involved in Any online communities. i was learning A Lot from making it... a lot of the stuff i did for it is Unrecognizable from my current work.. and i havent made anything like it since. it means a lot to me, at least now.

Back Then, However... i did not treasure my work as i did now. You See, this game went through TONS of iterations. from 2014 to 2017, this game went through many changes across Multiple different project files, all with different assets and programming. during the early days, when i gave up on one iteration of the project, i would simply Delete the old files off my computer. And Then, at the beginning of 2016 when i changed my username to 'Unlimited Trees', i deleted ALL of my old work.

TONS of old games ive made were lost. some of the Very First works ive done Ever are completely missing. years of work went down the drain because i wanted to move on from my old work. But as time passed.. i became more fond of my old work, but realized that i could Never see any of it again. and since i never shared any of it to anyone outside of a few old friends (who i dont even have contact with anymore), there was no way i could get any of it back.

But. about over a year ago or so, i went through my old laptop and was able to find a bunch of old files with quite a few of my old games... some of these files werent the latest builds of these games so there was still a lot missing, but i was So Glad i found them... i have So Much i want to share and talk about and im happy i can share at least a little bit of the work ive done alone for years. even if no one cares about some dumb old games, im at least happy i dont have to worry about losing them again..

ANYWAYS. about this build of 'Mr. Waffle Lover'. it is the fourth iteration of the game. it has ideas which no other iteration has done (mainly the 'TNT' jumps). it has art and levels which i kind of like compared to the other early iterations. and it actually Plays Kind of Good , even if it is a little janky and basic. unlike most versions of the game, i actually remember sending builds of this to old friends, but i dont know if they ever played it or even still have it (i doubt they do Lol).

there's a lot more i could probably say about this, but i dont have the energy right now and will probably talk about it later in another post about 'Mr. Waffle Lover'. i have a Lot to share about it... just now is not the time. the video i posted speaks for itself, i think. its just a simple platformer with a basic OC. theres some stuff that wasnt shown in the video, such as an unfinished boss fight. but aside from that, thats all there is to see.

anyways, the point of this post is that i want to encourage more people to archive their work and not do what i did and delete all your stuff. even if in the moment you dont think your stuff is important.. you should at least keep your stuff saved in case you ever want to look back at it. Especially if youve been making things for Years... you might want to see just how much youve grown.. thats how i feel anyways. i am still missing a ton of work that ive made.. and ive since tried to archive everything i make. ive been making games for 8 years, and i put a Lot of time into the stuff ive made.. i never want to throw out any of my work again.

thats all i have to say for now i think. By The Way, the source code for this build of the game can be found here. just in case u want to give it a look. And By The Way, it's in my pinned post, but i have a few google drive folders full of All of my old projects, including everything i have from Waffle Lover (or 'Project Waffle', as it's called). i plan on moving more stuff onto github and making more posts about it.. but for now u can look thru it if u like

[incorrect-koh-posts]

Can i ask how the hell should I use live journal? Like It's so confusing. Can you hint me something?

Hi :) Of course you can ask, I'm always happy to help! And I get you, livejournal is a bit archaic and hard to navigate. But once you understand the system, you're actually able to find stuff 😁

So, since it's me you're asking, I assume you're hunting for the old KoH fanfics from 2005. I'd recommend either googling something like "KoH fanfiction livejournal" OR simply going to the livejournal site and then using the search bar there (I'm reasonably sure it's somewhere in the top right corner).

With the search function, I wouldn't search for just "Kingdom of Heaven", because in that case livejournal hits you with everything that has that combination of words in it, which is a whole bloody lot (including some weird religious shit of the sort that also shows up regularly in our tumblr tag).

Instead, what I did to find those fics was to search for names of certain characters. Since most of them are quite unique, you'll already get decidedly fewer hits and will probably find some fic or other relatively quickly. What you can do as well is search for two character names (e.g. "balian king baldwin" or some such), which will also limit the field a little more. You'll probably still have some movie reviews or whatever among the hits, but it'll make it much easier to filter out what you were looking for.

There are I think two (?) groups I know of that most fics were posted to: one is koh_slash_fic and the other one is heavens_kingdom (which also has other stuff about the film in there, not just fics). Then there's also the_lepic, which is ... well, I suppose you can guess from the name - mostly slightly strange but amusing Baldwin smut. But there are some non-smutty and rather funny fics there as well: I remember a cracky one about Tiberias discovering that Baldwin IV likes to knit in his free time with particular fondness. That one was a hoot. 😂

Fair warning though: You might want to be a bit careful with livejournal nowadays, since it's owned by a Russian company. I'm not a tech nerd by any means, but I'd recommend at least using a VPN when hanging around on such sites. Can't be careful enough.

Also: The stories you're going to find are from the eeeeaaarly days of the KoH fandom - some of the fics were written even before the film was released. So a lot of this stuff is basically "omg Orlando Bloom as Balian is so hot, let's ship him with every available male character in the film, including his own father". And I mean, to each their own, but that's not really my thing. (Incest, that is. I love a good M/M fic as much as anybody.) Generally, there are many more PWPs on livejournal than on AO3 or FFnet. And the M/M ships sometimes have ... interesting takes on characterisation, especially in regard to Baldwin, who often comes across as oddly feminine. Which isn't to say these stories are bad, they're just very different from the somewhat newer stuff on AO3 or FFnet, where you usually see (female) OC x Canon Character pairings and surprisingly little slash. But I'm sure you'll find something to your taste!

Oh boy, this escalated quickly. I'm sorry for being so long-winded, dear anon, but I hope this helps! 😊

[someone-always-cares]

bonus 2, post chapter 4

first - previous - next

[image  description: an sac webcomic page. 5 pages styled in a manner similar to a medical brochure titled “navigating your new abilities, what does this mean for me?”. the brochure is about superpowers, what the are, side effects and health risks, and job oppurtunities. the brochure has white and light blue for the main colours, with a dark purple accent. page 1: mostly showing a girl transforming, with the title listed above, with smaller text reading “created and supported by the paragon institute for superheroism.” the girl is a younger white woman who has a light purple colour scheme, long straight hair and bangs, a crop top, and elbow pads. shes shown from the waist up, half her body and an arm cut out of the photo. her transformation takes the form of dripping black-purple goop spreading, with a starry texture. a similar texture takes up the image background.

page 2: title: what are superpowers?. “Superpower is a term used for superpowered abilities that go beyond the natural abilities and conventional laws of reality. There are little limits to the potential types of abilities that a super powered person may possess.

It is currently unknown what causes superpowered abilities. Despite many theories, the only known way to guarantee superpowers is to inherit them from a parent.

London has the highest percentage of superpowered people in the entire world, in addition to having 42% of all supers in the united kingdom”

next to this text is a grinning woman in pink winking while posing with one hand on her hip, and the other in a fist held up. the woman has long wavy pale pink hair, light brown skin, many freckles, and hot pink eyes. her outfit is a pink dress and gloves, pale pink tattered cape, and a hot pink long sleeved undershirt.

“how do i use and control my abilities? Superpowered people will typically have an innate sense for how to transform and use their abilities,but like any skill it will take time and effort to fully control their abilities.

In some rare cases, a superpowered person may lack control over their powers to the extent where it can cause harm to those around them.

This is most common in those who have inherited their abilities. In these cases the P.I.S offers programs to assist these people in learning control with 24/7 care and supervision. If you or someone you know requires these programs, please call our number or otherwise contact us via our website.

Due to the range of superpowered abilities, there is no one-size-fits-all method of developing control, however, the P.I.S do offer training services, of which you can read more about atwww.pis.uk/pis-services/training

next to this is a teenage superhero, an androgynous boy with a grey colour scheme, smiling slightly, his arm turning into smoke. he has light grey hair and eyes, brown skin and a dark grey bodysuit. he has a grey poncho/cape conbo and gloves, both of which are lined with light grey fleece or fur. his outfit looks as if is was meant for cold weather.

page 3: what are some other symptoms of superpowered abilities? Superpowers are also accompanied by complete transformations, including bodily and outfit transformations. Body transformations will include a change of eye and hair colour, but can also include a wide variety of changes, commonly including changes to eyes, ears, and hands, animal-like features, changes in shape, colour, additional limbs and features, and more.

below that is 5 examples, inside circles with a white border: a close up of an eye, all blue including sclera, the pupil is pale and slit like a cat. next is a close up of a green haired braid. next if also from behind, a red haired person with red wings, the longest feathers of which are white. while the last three arent of any known character, the latter two are wraith, shown from behind, only showing hair and a cape, and part of an arm, and quartz, a close up of his elf-like ear.

Outfit transformations are even more varied in appearance, and will typically be in various shades of the persons 'main' colour. It is common for the outfit to contain additional accessories, tools, and weapons. Electronic devices created from these transformations do not need recharging and if using internet or data, will use the strongest available signal to do so. It is illegal to create, use, or otherwise have in the open, a weapon in public without a registered superhero licence.

The act of transformation will vary from person to person, but will usually involve a bright light, and is likely to reflect the user's powers of their effects. In the case of those inheriting their abilities, they will inherit body traits and transformations from any and all superpowered ancestors.

The effects of a transformation will likely change through a superpowered person's lifetime. A change will usually happen after a dramatic change in the person's personality, ideals, traumatic incident, or other life development, although a change is not guaranteed, and will rarely occur without these.

The first transformation will usually be the simplest aesthetically both in outfit and body, with simple details, but will usually get more complicated, and it's likely to gain more body transformations as more changes happen. A superpowered person may experience 1-2 changes every 10 years.

Objects and outfits created via transformation will dissipate upon detransformation, regardless of if it is removed from the person. The same goes for additional limbs and features that do not exist on the original body, although these injuries are permanent, unlike clothes and objects which will reform upon transformation.

page 4: other known possibilities of transformations:

- Partial changes to a transformation may occur in the event of permanent injury, such as gaining a prosthetic after losing a limb, but nothing else in the outfit changes.

-It is possible for a transformation's change to be affected by other superpowered persons. This is commonly shown by similarities in outfit transformations, as elements of the superpowered persons apperance change to resemble each other.

-Changes in colour are extremely rare and usually only occur in small aspects

other changes and risks: Some changes are permanent and may not disappear when a superpowered person detransforms.

-Reproductive changes: Any biological offspring will have the exact same powers as the parent. However, pregnancy will be risky, and have a high rate of failure, especially if the mother does not have any superpowered abilities.

-Dreams: While there is no known reason for this occurrence, supers will rarely be able to remember their dreams, except those with dream related abilities or legacy supers. However, despite this the people in question will usually be experiencing nightmares, and superpowered people are at high risk for night terrors and sleep terror disorder.

-A superpowered person's body will adapt to their powers and it is extremely unlikely for one to be harmed by their own power, but this may result in permanent changes that may cause inconvenience in daily life. If this is something you or a loved one experience, please inform your GP

-Overuse of powers: While powers appear to be adapted to not cause harm to the user, overuse of powers can result in a large amount of pain and possible long term damage

below that is an image of two people, on looking like a doctor, a pale man with dull brown hair and dull green eyes, dressed as a doctor and smiling with a clipboard, looking at a person shown from  behind, with long mint hair.

page 5: what does this mean for me?

Discovering and controlling your abilities is often the first step one may take inbecoming a superhero. Here at the P.I.S we offer many pathways to doing so,including all required training, courses, and experiences.

We also acknowledge that some super powered people do not seek to become asuperhero, but the P.I.S still has a place for them! We offer many career pathsand courses for almost any job and  our career advisors can match up the perfectpower-job combinations to give you a leg up if you are interested in using yourabilities in your career.  For more information, visit jobs.pis.uk

Use of powers in a job, or to otherwise earn money using superpowered abilities,without a license is a serious offence that can result in fines starting from £5000,and a potential ban from working in that field.

below is the superhero arrow, grinning at a woman in a plain looking suit. he has one hand on his hip and the other is shaking hands with the woman. the women has red hair and eyes, and pointy red nails.

Due to the nature of superpowered abilities, it is important to gettailored advice and support for affected individuals.For more information call us at our support helpline at 020 7946 0xxx. Both our lines are open from 8:30am-10pm mon-fri and 9:30am-9pm sat.You can also visit our website for more resources at pis.uk/resources. end id]

sorry for last weeks lack of update, irl stuff is happening too much and too fast

anyway heres something ive wanted to do for a while, a pamphlet thats kinda medical style? it seemed like it would be fun and i wanted an excuse to try something new and im always down to infodump (affectionate) about my ocs

however im half asleep, ive already delayed an update for a week, and im a little stressed so i didnt get a proper proofread so sorry if theres any typo or if i left a placeholder in ill get it later if i see any late

edit: did i really forget to fucking finish the fake phone number at the end? anyway sometimes fake phone numbers are reserved for tv and stuff if a phone number is needed, thats the one used for london fake numbers, i just forgot to finish it until i went back to write the id there

[shannygoatgruff]

Only Fan(s) - A Thriller

Genre: Thriller

Pairing: Modern Ivar/OC

Warning: Language, sex, stalking, obsession, kidnapping, sexual assault

Rating: MA+18

Summary: Sometimes OnlyFans subscribers want a little more than internet pictures. Sometimes they want to be your ONLY fan…

Header by: @flowers-in-your-hayr

Thanks to @xbellaxcarolinax for being my beta.

Disclaimer: This story will deal with some topics that might be a little uncomfortable for some people. As always, I’ll try to tackle the hard stuff as tactfully as possible.

a/n: I know it’s been a minute. I’m always thinking about these stories because I want to finish them, just can’t seem to focus on writing at the moment.  Anyway, hope you enjoy.

Part iv - Date with Destiny

Finding Ivar Lothbrok should have been easy. Between the two of them, he was the stable one. He was the one with the iron-clad schedule that consisted of drinking, smoking, and partying. Torren’s schedule was a bit more... fluid. She tended to go wherever the wind, or whatever car she acquired, would take her. Naturally, Ivar had the occasional meet-and-greet, red carpet, and/or Comic-con engagement that he had to attend, still, he was pretty easy to keep tabs on. All one had to do was look at (stalk) his social media accounts, and his whereabouts were posted for everyone to see.

Knowing where he’d be and finding out where he lived were a different story. Torren had done her due diligence when it came to locating the town in which Little Kattegat was located. It only took about two days and a few Google image searches of the background of a few of the photos and she had it narrowed down to a general area in the Sierra Nevada Mountains.

From what she could tell, the closest town to where he lived was pretty small, and there were only a few large estates hidden in the woods. How hard could it be to find? She was willing to drive to every single house and knock on the door to find him if she had to. But it would just be easier if there was loud music and a bunch of cars in the driveway. That way she could tag along inside with the rest of the guests to get to her man. 

Her shirt landed in the pile of dirty clothes in the center of the bed, as she reached around to unhook her bra. “I really need to tell Baby Boo to stop putting all of his business out in these streets,” her brows furrowed as she shook her head, “What if some crazy, psycho bitch started stalking him, or some shit? Then I’d have to kill a bitch.” Torren’s head whipped around and she narrowed her eyes at his picture, still stuck on her wall, “Is that what you want? Huh? You want me to cut a bitch to prove to you how much I love you? I will, Bae! You know I would do anything for you. I’m your Ride or Die...” 

And being his Ride or Die meant that she needed to keep better tabs on him if she was going to protect him from someone crazier than her, God forbid.  She was only able to do so much on this prepaid phone, and going to the library to get online was becoming a pain in the ass. 

She’d considered stealing a laptop or iPad from the library but was still on the fence about the idea. Of course, the alternative meant going to stupid ass libraries and threatening little kids to get off the fucking computers, and that completely sucked ass. 

She always felt rushed when she logged onto her Bae’s Only Fans page from the public library. Without fail one of those little bastard kids would get the library Nazis to kick her off the computer, or bar her from the library altogether for watching porn. 

Ivar’s page wasn’t porn! It was art. It was sexy. It was love...his love for her. Stupid bitches. 

She had encountered far worse things than getting kicked out of the library, but some of these small towns usually only had one or two within their county limits. If she got banned, how was she supposed to check up on Ivar? In the time it took to log in until she got kicked out, she'd be lucky if she could check 2 of his accounts. What if he had some important information on another platform that she hadn’t checked yet? What was she supposed to do then?

Her relationship with Ivar was hanging in the balance, and she'd be damned if some snot-nosed kid or fucking uptight librarian would fuck that up. She needed a computer. But, on the flip side, when she finally got her man back, she wouldn't need one anymore. She could ask him directly what their plans were.

There was a lot to consider and that took time; time that she didn't have right now.

The thick layer of Nair shaving cream she had applied to her already hairless crotch, was just starting to tingle, signaling she had about 5 minutes left before the sweat-inducing, burning sensation would kick in alerting her to wash the cream off. Until then, she had time to consider an outfit for the night.

She knew Ivar well enough to know that he would want her to be sexy for him, but not so much to distract him from work. She could have gone for something slutty, like those skanky bitches he partied with. She could have gone for more demur, but then she would remind him too much of his bitch ex-wife and completely turn him off. The last thing she wanted on their first night back together was for him to be thinking about that bitch. She could have gone for a simple pair of jeans and a t-shirt, but Torren never did simple. 

No, Ivar would want her to be herself. That's what he loved about her. That's what attracted him to her in the first place. She would be sexy without being skanky; she would be demure without being a prude.

Fuck! It was already 7:33 p.m. How in the hell did she miss the beginning of his Live? Now she was running late.

She was supposed to be dressed and ready by the time his Live came on that way she could be out the door as soon as he finished. If she was going to make it to be on his Only Fans live stream tonight, she needed to get to his house before he got too distracted. Now, she’d have to watch his Live, while her cooch burst into flames before she had a chance to take a shower and finish picking out her outfit.

If there was one thing Torren was, it was punctual. It was bad enough that she was about 40 minutes outside of his town, but it could take her up to 2 or more hours to find his house. She only hoped that he didn’t plan on starting any real freaky shit on his Only Fans page until around midnight, cause it looked like she wouldn’t be getting there before then, anyway.  

With the smile still plastered on her face, Torren turned on the hot water for a shower, forgetting that the water didn’t get hot. She didn't mind, much, especially since the cold water gave her a break from the heat in her room. 

Phone in hand, she watched him, as she planted herself on the dirty bathtub floor, cross-legged, and started to get herself ready. Starting with her toes, she shaved each one, just below the knuckle, followed by her fingers, arms, pits, and each leg, from groin to ankle, three times. When the burning from her nether regions was so intense that she couldn’t tell her tears from the shower water dripping on her face, she quickly washed off the cream. 

All she could do was hope that she hadn’t broken the skin this time. The last time she had let that damn Nair stay on, just past burning, the skin broke and she bled. She was not having a bloody hoo-ha tonight. 

With that taken care of, she gently used the razor to remove any other pubes closer to the inside that needed to be removed. Then shaved her backside. When she had more time, she was going to get the internal hairs bleached, but she needed to find out what Ivar preferred. 

Shaving ate up so much of her time that she only had a few seconds to rub some body-wash that she had stolen from a drug store over her body and hoped it got rid of the smell of the summer heat. Her hair? Fuck it...she’d wash it another day, for now, this cold water would have to be enough. She’d spritz some perfume and hair spray in it and it would smell fine. 

Torren finished her shower, and walked out of the bathroom dripping wet, only using a towel to wrap around her hair. She was glad it was so hot in her room that her hair would air-dry quickly. She finger-combed her damp tresses to complete that ‘just got out of bed, but it's styled’ appearance. She knew how much he loved when her hair looked like that. It would remind him of freshly fucked hair. 

She spent extra time applying her makeup, even using an extra dark, thick application of eyeliner. She usually went for more subtle warm colors. They matched her tan skin tone better. But, tonight, she had bold, dark makeup, complete with varying shades of purple and blue eye shadows, and dark purple lipstick.

Torren was glad that she decided to match Ivar’s clothes this evening. The swim trunks and smoking jacket he wore would compliment her beautifully. She wanted everyone to know that they dressed alike, the way real couples do. If he was going for less is more, so would she.

She settled on black leather chaps that tied up on the sides, and tight blue boy shorts that left the bottom half of her ass cheeks exposed. The blue shorts brought out the blue swirls in his trunks; she knew he'd appreciate that touch. Her top was a blue bandanna that she wore as a halter with a short black leather jacket with tassels on the sleeves. 

They screamed “couple” in her eyes.

Completely satisfied with how she looked, Torren locked the door to her motel room and started down the hall. She deliberately stopped by the window and peered through the partially opened blinds of the people staying next door to her. She knocked on the window to get the attention of the young couple inside. Judging from their appearance, they were too strung out to know who she was, or that it was her music that they constantly banged on the wall about. She didn’t care. She still flipped them off before making her way to the stairs. 

Reaching her hand through the busted window of the blue Ford Taurus to unlock the door from the inside. Torren slid into the driver's seat and leaned over to find the two cords that she had pulled out from under the steering column when she stole the car. Flicking the cords together, she listened as the engine reluctantly turned over.

She put the car in reverse, looked in the rear-view mirror at her makeup, then pulled out of the spot. As she turned onto the road leading to the highway, she listened to the knocks, bumps, and hisses that her car made. There wasn't time to do much about it now; not when she was on her way to get her man. But, she made a mental note to do something about it later in the week. The only thing she could do was turn the music up louder to drown out the car noise.

Truthfully, she should have stolen a better car than the piece of shit Taurus that she found in the parking lot of the Quickie Mart while driving through Tulsa, Oklahoma. There were plenty of better cars there to choose from but no one would have wanted to take this one. It was so sad looking that she took pity on it. She had been doing the owner of this crap car a favor, by taking it off of their hands. 

The car was truly fucked. The oil light stayed on, and it drank gas like her mother drank liquor. The car had protested every inch of the ride across the three states that she traveled through in one day. She knew that it would only be a matter of time before that piece of shit breathed its last breath.

She needed to get gas again, but fuck that car. She had already refueled four times since she stole it. Gas wasn't cheap and she wasn't putting another dime in that gas guzzler. Speaking of money, she made a mental note to steal another credit card. It would only be a matter of time before the owner of the one that was tucked snugly between her left breast and strapless bra, would eventually realize that it had been lifted from the table in the diner, and canceled.

Laptop, butt bleaching, car, credit card, and more eyeliner from Walgreen's…her To-Do list was growing. She really needed to take some time off and take care of the necessities. Not tonight, though. She had other things to do. She couldn't do anything else, right now, but get to her man. Besides, once Lothbrok was by her side, he would help her remember all the things she needed to do.

As she came off of the highway exit smoke started billowing out from the engine. It backed up through the exhaust system, and came through the vents, inside the cabin. It was ironic – the air-conditioning vents in the car didn't work, but they seemed to work well enough to clog the inside of the car up with thick white smoke. She drove a few more miles before the smoke was so thick that she could no longer see. As she pulled the car over to the graveled shoulder of the road, the car knocked and shook, before it finally cut off.

Just her fucking luck.

She reached under the dash to flick the cords against each other again, trying to force the ignition to catch again, but it wouldn't. The engine had nothing left to give her. "Fuck Murphy and fuck his fucking law," she said calmly as she pulled the hood release.

She opened the car door, taking care to place both black, platform boots on the ground before lifting her backside from the seat. Placing her sunglasses on her eyes, she walked with one foot in front of the other to the front of the Taurus and placed her hand on the hood. It was hot, but not so hot that she couldn't feel under the front of the lever.

As she lifted the heavy metal hood and placed the rod in the slot to hold it in place, Torren let the smoke from the engine engulf her. It was quite a head rush breathing in the thick engine smoke through her nose, and exhaling it from her mouth. She patiently waited for the smoke to thin out before she bent, at the waist, over the engine. She didn't know what she was looking for, but she knew that someone would see her looking over the engine and stop to help her.

Now, if only someone would actually come down this dark stretch of road, she could be back on her way to Ivar.

It didn't take long before a pair of headlights rounded the bend of the road, just off to her right. Shifting her weight from one foot to the other, she accentuated the leather, chaps against her hips, and lifted her ass higher in the air, to catch the driver's attention. She couldn't help but smirk when she heard the tires of a large vehicle turn onto the graveled pavement in front of where she broke down. She didn't turn to face the car or the driver. She didn't care who they were or what they looked like. She had an appointment to keep and this pit stop was fucking up her timetable.

"You need some help?" A deep voice asked as its owner approached her.

Torren took a moment to peer around the hood, noticing that there were no other cars around. "Broke down," she answered, continuing to bear her weight from one hip to the other. She placed her hands on the metal frame of the car, arched her back, and looked at the man over her shoulder. "You know something about cars?"

"Yeah," he replied, moving around to her side, looking at her, and not the smoky engine.

She gave him half a smile, as she noticed him notice her. "You a mechanic or something?" She asked standing up. She rubbed her hands together to remove some of the visible engine soot while considering the guy in front of her. He was about 6 feet tall with a moderate build. He was dressed in blue jeans, a black t-shirt, and Timberland boots. He didn't look like he was more than 25 years old. Judging from the way he was looking at her and from the ring on his left hand, he wasn't too worried about her car, or his wife, for that matter.

"Nah, not a mechanic, but I work on my own car... in my spare time." He smiled when she did. She was gorgeous, in that slutty kind of way. She wouldn't be dressed like that and leaning over the hood of a car if she wasn't looking to have some fun. "Lemme take a look at it."

Did he work on his car? Hopefully, that meant that his ran better than hers did.

Torren moved over to the side and let him take the position under the hood. "I'll be right back," he explained before walking over to the bed of his F150.

Grabbing a flashlight from the trunk, he took a second to admire the view of her, from behind. If he could get her car moving again, she would hopefully follow him to this cheap motel he knew that was just up the highway.

He leaned in close, taking a whiff of her hair, "You overheated…want to check the coolant level."

She had heard him say something else but she had stopped listening; she was too busy watching the street. "You want me to try to start it?" she asked, removing her sunglasses before making her way to the driver's door. She wasn't sure if he answered or not. She had no intention of driving the Taurus again, even if he could get it started. She just needed to get something out of the car.

She slid into the seat and reached down on the floor. She found the hard metal object on the floor of the passenger's side and gripped it tightly. As she walked back around to the front of the car, she heard him talking, presumably about the car, or maybe he was asking her out. Who the fuck knows? She was on a tight schedule and all of his chatting was holding her up. She stood by the side of the hood, looking at the angle he was leaning over the hood. Quickly, she lifted her arm, and with one powerful blow, she struck him in the head with the crowbar that she used to procure her now-defunct car.

Torren stood over his body, looking at him intensely. God, it felt good. The rush of knowing that one minute this dude was towering over her, and the next he was on the ground. She had dropped his ass. She was the one with the power.

 "Thanks," she said, digging her hand in his pocket to retrieve his cash, credit card, and the keys to his truck. She wiped the blood on the crowbar on his shirt before walking to her new mode of transportation.

Torren sat in the truck's driver's seat and turned on the engine. She had managed to cross two things off of her To-Do list without even planning to.

Thank God the truck had air conditioning. All this heat and humidity was bound to make her hair frizzy. She cranked the AC up as high as it would go and sat still for a moment enjoying the cool air. After a minute, she adjusted the seat and tilted the rearview mirror to look at herself. She was starting to sweat and her eyeliner was starting to run just a bit at the corners of her eyes. She dabbed at the black liner to even out the lines, and then pushed the mirror back to where she could see. Giving the area another once-over, she made sure that no one else had seen her interaction with that guy on the ground, before pulling out from the gravel and onto the paved street.

"Ugh!" Torren yelled. Chester Bradley, the printed name on the credit card, had shitty taste in music. She pushed the stereo button on the steering wheel to do a scan of the radio. Anything was better than country music. Once she found some trap music on the XM radio, she turned up the volume and pulled back onto the highway.

Part iii/

Tags: @ideagarden-blog1  @youbloodymadgenius @xbellaxcarolinax @a-mess-of-fandoms @didiintheblog @conaionaru @peachyboneless @flowers-in-your-hayr @heavenly1927 @zuxiezendler @waiting4inspiration @saldelys @revolution-starter​

[twdeadfanfic]

I must say, 2021 was a shit year in the fic department for me, I barely wrote and it is the year in which thanks to the show writers and Leah I lost my love for the show, Daryl and writing Daryl fic, and I don't think it'll be back on 2022, my will, desire and love to write Daryl is gone and I don't know him anymore; and I lost so many readers, followers and people I talked to, due to my fics getting worse and to my thoughts on Leah and Daryl...

But anyway, here is this thing

I posted 1987 times in 2021

702 posts created (35%)

1285 posts reblogged (65%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 1.8 posts.

I added 797 tags in 2021

#queue - 203 posts

#daryl dixon fanfiction - 89 posts

#daryl dixon - 89 posts

#daryl dixon imagine - 82 posts

#daryl dixon fanfic - 77 posts

#daryl dixon fic - 75 posts

#daryl dixon x reader - 52 posts

#daryl dixon/reader - 52 posts

#daryl dixon & reader - 40 posts

#daryl dixon x oc - 38 posts

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

The Crow Pose

Daryl Dixon x Reader.

Doing yoga during the apocalypse might seem like a luxury, but you have free time and you already finished your obligations for that day, after hours putting down the walkers that were pilling up at the other side of the prison’s fence, and then keeping watch in one of the watchtowers. You feel like you might have earned a bit of time for yourself, and since you happened to find a mat in your last run…why not?

Keep Reading it here​

176 notes • Posted 2021-04-19 16:54:17 GMT

#4

Hot Cocoa (Masterlist)

Daryl Dixon x Reader

Pre-apocalypse Y/N is an elementary shcool teacher new to the town, and one of her students is little Dixon, Daryl Dixon’s nephew, Daryl has taken care of him for years, the kid’s mother out of the picture and his father seeming to be in and out of jail all of the time.

CHAPTERS 15/22:

CHAPTER I       CHAPTER II         CHAPTER III          CHAPTER IV

CHAPTER V     CHAPTER VI         CHAPTER VII      CHAPTER VIII

CHAPTER IX  CHAPTER X   CHAPTER XI  CHAPTER XII   CHAPTER XIII 

 CHAPTER XIV     CHAPTER XV   CHAPTER XVI     CHAPTER XVII

CHAPTER XVIII     CHAPTER XIX

193 notes • Posted 2021-08-11 16:00:59 GMT

#3

Feral Pt.1

Daryl Dixon x OC

Summary:  Daryl is on a run with Rick when, in a warehouse, they find a woman who attacks them, and who reminds Daryl to a lioness...or a feral cat, and who doesn’t seem to trust anyone, including them, but Daryl finds himself going back to the warehouse, trying to get that feral cat to trust him and to go with him to the prison.

Chapter 1/10 Words: 3443

Daryl frowned as he looked at the small warehouse, surveying it… it looked abandoned, but what didn’t look like that now, although the small windows had planks of wood nailed to them, closing them almost completely, so at some point, somebody had been there and tried to secure it.  There weren’t walkers around but there was nothing there to attract them after all.

Keep reading it here

196 notes • Posted 2021-01-19 18:00:40 GMT

#2

Storm

Daryl Dixon x Reader

Summary: During a run, Daryl and you have to wait out a storm on a cabin.

You ran toward the small cabin, following Daryl, who turned his head to make sure you were behind him, reaching out a hand towards you that you grasped, the rain so strong that you could barely see anything. Daryl and you were on a quick run to bring some stuff back to the prison when a heavy storm had seemed to come out of nowhere, you hadn’t seen so much rain in years, getting completely drenched in seconds.  

Keep reading it here

258 notes • Posted 2021-01-12 18:01:19 GMT

#1

No Cuddles Allowed

Daryl Dixon x Reader

After a particularly misfortunate run, Y/N comes up with a rule as a joke to pester Maggie and Glenn, “No cuddles allowed in the run-planning room” because those are too distracting and don’t let you focus on planing a good run…it might turn against her when she finds that she might want to cuddle a certain crossbow wielder of pretty blue eyes…

Fluffy little one-shot that suddenly sprung to mind and I had to write.

You were at the prison’s room that was used for council meetings and also where plans for runs were made, talked and review, generally by Maggie and Glenn, who were in charge of that, overseen by Rick.

Keep reading it here​​​​

298 notes • Posted 2021-09-30 17:01:55 GMT

So...this is all I guess. It's been a nice three/four years of writing Daryl and I'm sad it seems it came to an end, because it was the thing that brought me the most joy through the years.

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[remade-stopframevevo]

idk if i've asked you this before buuuut do you have any ocs you want to talk about? doesn't have to be a wc oc :0

okay ive been saving this ask for when i have a grasp on how i wanna answer it and who with and Now is the time. also i dont have any ocs other than my warriors ones and my fursona so this is all you get lawl

this is hopeheart (she/her molly, full name hopeheart marigold), shes a groveclan warrior(? shes probably a warrior +hunter because she likes hitting things but for context i have different roles for jobs that require physical labor eg hunting, den construction, battles. you get the idea). i deprived her of her signature groveclan flowers in this pic because ive been awake for a number of hours and just drew this pic for the sake of the ask

the rests under the read more cuz this got really long

she has two sisters, hickorybranch and leopardbelly. she’s also rainwatcher’s (groveclan deputy) adoptive sister in that she adopted rainwatcher when he was a baby (moreso that fawnstar passed rainkit onto hopes mother after banishing rains biological mother, noticed hopes mother didnt particularly care for him, adopted rainwatcher themself, but hopepaw decided to keep him much to the dismay of her mother and sisters).

hopeheart is actually half-floodclan (i havent thought about who the other parent is but its not particularly important anyways) which is very obvious to Everyone by how shes built. groveclan cats are commonly built like how windclan cats are in canon, while floodclan cats are built like fucking walls to compensate for their territory. her sisters got luckier than her and took after their groveclan mother but hopeheart got....herself...we still love her though its okay 💕.. hopeheart is literally built different

additionally, hopeheart was given her prefix by her mother in a “maybe this is a good thing. maybe this isnt so bad and maybe in fact this child will make things better” way wrt the floodclan thing. everyone thinks songbird caused some kind of curse by naming hopeheart like this, because since gaining sentience hopeheart has done the exact opposite. hopeheart is very snappy, very irritable, and very loud in a “everyone knows shes coming even when shes 20ft away” sense. shes not an angry person by any means and doesnt act out because she feels like it or wants to be mean or whatever, but moreso out of a strong dissatisfaction with clan life to a literally depressive extent. she cant understand why a bunch of rules made up by a bunch of stupid dead people years and years and years ago are so important. nonetheless, shes very headstrong about her opinions and views to an almost unintentionally irritating extent. she actually tried to run for deputy when the opportunity arose (more for a desperate want for a change of scenery than actual desire to become leader) but lost almost immediately.

she’s not necessarily unpopular in her clan, she’s well-liked and definitely not a bad person; she’s very loyal and cares VERY deeply about her loved ones - but her lack of respect for authority and the code, and her depressive states, can be frustating for others because of a lack of understanding of how to help her or how to “deal with” her.

speaking of a lack of respect for the code: she’s been indefinitely banned from gatherings for getting caught with her thornclan girlfriend, honeyblossom (they/she nonbinary, i already posted a pic of her like 3 days ago so i wont repost it). a good majority of groveclan residents were already aware of the situation (with mixed opinions; towards her and towards fawnstar for just actively letting it happen) although the relationship had been kept from thornclan as much as possible, with fawnstar going as far as to make excuses for them, because thornclan is a horrible fucking place to live and everyone who lives there wishes the punishment for breaking the code was just something normal and easy like public execution. that being said, at some point hopeheart and honeyblossom got a little TOO public about it during a gathering (which admittedly was likely hopehearts doing, honeyblossom is far too anxious and scared to ever initiate anything even if the only thing watching is a bird), catching the attention of swanstar, thornclans leader. fawnstar and hopeheart were able to effectively defuse the situation and brush it off as “oh theyre just friends. its fine dont worry” but the second the gathering was over fawnstar immediately barred hopeheart from attending a gathering for the foreseen future, for her own sake and honeyblossoms, in his words. feel like it goes without saying that this mixed with the “fuck the code” attitude she has, hopeheart is in fact not fawnstars biggest fan (not to imply fawnstar gives a shit about the code at all either, but theres like a specific level of feeling betrayed wrt that fact that hopeheart goes through)

and to use my “speaking of” transition again, speaking of fawnstar haters; shes close with one of the medicine cats of groveclan, marbleheart (they/them, nonbinary), who she has a vague adoptive familial relationship with. im also using this as an opportunity to show what i mean when i say “hopeheart looks very different from other groveclan cats”

quick marbleheart facts time: marbleheart hates fawnstar for reasons undisclosed, mostly in a “scared animal backed into a corner that chooses fight” way but also a years-long growing resentment way. marbleheart has virtually no family left (still deciding whether i want to keep their niece an existing character or not but anyway) given the brother that left years ago and the two dead mothers. hopeheart is the closest they have to a living family.

they arent particularly fond of hopehearts relationship with honey but theyre not confrontational about it, theyre more apathetic than a lot of other cats are. they’re also a lot more empathetic towards hopeheart’s state of mind than a lot of other groveclan residents, despite the completely different personalities and clashing views toward the code. although marbleheart accepts the code and almost enjoys it as a way of structure and guidance in life, they can very easily empathise with how hopeheart views it as a kind of cage and does their best to support her when she needs it.

oh also marbleheart and hopeheart having the same suffix was completely accidental but also i think its cute considering their relationship lol

..........................*deep heaving sigh* but anyway i think thats all i have on her right now. like i know theres more and i could expand on more about her and her other relationships but im kind of worn out talking about hopeheart, and marbleheart was the last thing i had in mind to talk about, and i dont really feel like wracking my brain trying to think of more things to bring up. like now i say it i am thinking of other things but ill save it for now. thank you for the ask i could talk forever but this post is already long lawl

oh also shes a trans lesbian lol

[miiilowo]

I. Im very curious about the pink haired enderman oc 👉👈 where are they from?? What do they doo?? This is a ramble as much as you want to ask :D

RUBBING MY LITTLE GREMLIN HANDS TOGETHER (also sorry about the late answer, my internet went out as i was writing this)

he’s for an smp im on! :D we decided that we wanted to do rp stuff for fun (hasnt really happened but some characters exist) and i decided to make an enderman character because i just. love them so much

the idea is that one of the smp members went to the end and made an enderman grinder. for whatever reason (havent figured out what the reason is yet) she decided that my funky little guy was special and decided to keep him. kind of like adopting them.

Afterward she made him king of the end because shes a human who thinks she has power over just about everything. for that reason i spent like 3 days building a castle on the server.  He does not take his role as a king seriously whatsoever, and never goes to the end. Why, you may be asking?

When you kill the ender dragon you get the achievement ‘free the end’, which doesnt Sound Like Endermen Had A Fun Time, so im just going to assume he has very bad memories associated with that place

since you mentioned it, his hair is not Actually pink, in fact, he’s bald, but he likes color a lot and so he made a wig (plus he wants to fit in with his mom and other people more) ((also my hair is just pink and he’s an adaptation of another persona i have but we can ignore that)). colors and flowers and stuff are something he enjoys because its a nice difference in comparison to the end which is mostly just . beige and black and purple sometimes 

He’s relatively good at english, and really loves writing and stories and books!!! i have a groovy lil library in my castle and a notebook/journal i track events of the smp in. im THIS CLOSE to copying the personal poems ive done into a bunch of books and selling them on the server for shits and giggles

My castle is one of the cooler builds on the server so new members stop by and stay there for a while before they head off on their own. so, i decided to turn that into him really wanting people to hang around, but they keep leaving and he gets kinda sad about that. id hate living in a big fucky castle and then peepo just stop by then exit after like 4 days. as a result he now has one crazed little clown friend who he is overly attached to despite her probably not being good for his mental health. theyre. working on that. though. i think. that character belongs to my friend loserchips, aka my best friend and the gal who drew my icon, which is also the enderboy!!!!!!

he has a big pile of gems in his throne room that he is absolutely Not willing to share because ive decided he loves shiny things. He also does have some enderman behavior that ive incorporated into how i play:

- cant go in water unless wearing full armor

- cant be in rain without a hat on at LEAST

- afraid of eye contact/doesnt look people in the eye

- climbs on shit and up the vines all over the castle. this scares people occasionally because hes already tall

- he isnt very good at teleporting and when he does he kind of zaps all over the place. due to chorus fruit i have ended up in countless ravines, creeper holes, roofs, tunnels, and houses against my will. it only worked out ONCE, where i was in a friends bakery, and she said to come upstairs. i ate a chorus fruit absentmindedly and teleported right in front of her. im counting this as him getting better at it

- i also am located in a savannah thats right next to a desert because it never rains there and he likes dry places for obvious reasons

- this was mildly inspired by endermen behavior. hes incredibly docile and friendly, but when he’s pushed a little too far he fucking snaps. the best example of this happening on the smp so far was when someone he was planning to live with forever left the castle, took some of his shit, then proceeded to fuck with him by showing him multiple double chests full of ender pearls. i then set fire to his house. (this character was also just genuinely scary and threatened him and killed him multiple times so i think that counts too. i now have his armor set)

theres a grave in my yard thats just a chest full of ender pearls people have given me because they think itd be funny. i am the main character i do not care

i put a little bit of Me into him, which means he loves to collect a bunch of items. anything he finds even a little cool he keeps. i have so many chests and theyre all so cluttered god help me

once bundles are added im absolutely going to have him carry around a sack of flowers that he gives to people

He has a really pretty royal outfit, and just casually wears it around the castle because he thinks he looks good in it

Also! he has three ‘sons’ which are just endermen i captured and put in boats. two of them i got before i had the enderman character idea. their names are ranboo and ran2. i think that is kind of funny

the third one is named hubert. hes bad at his job of guarding the villager cages

im very tempted to get him an enderman husband that sits in the bedroom or throne room. how the FUCK will i get him up there? i genuinely have no idea, but i know i wanna do it really bad

and some just. random stuff about him. ive been searching for a zombified hoglin named benjamin that i was introduced to on the first day of the server. I Know he exists. Hes in a sewer pipe behind spawn. im one of the few people who knows about his existence, and for the love of all that is holy i CANNOT FIND THE FUCKING HOGLIN and its driving me insane. if we translate this to my character, the only time hes left his castle in like a month is to find a hostile pig creature nobody knows exists and hes been rambling about it searching a swamp for days on end

also if he were living in this world and time, he’d listen to hyperpop and be put into a fucking trance by it because its just So Much on his little enderman brain. so much. i dont like hyperpop really but he Absolutely would

also!!!!!!!!!!! hes very good at knitting! very good! at knitting! the castle was super dull and gray so he decided to spice it up one day and now theres plants and flowers everywhere-alongside a giant carpet of his face. yes this actually exists. i have a rug of my skins face on the floor of one of my rooms. in this room is a bunch of wool and sewing stuff. i like to think he makes his own clothes.

something i forgot to mention is that hes somewhat wary of people, and doesnt like to kill mobs. The clown character i mentioned is a human, but she kind of died and came back to life (totems of undying you know) and as a result he likes her more because in a sense she is somewhat undead. just a cool little character bit i thought was neat :]

i feel like he wants to play an instrument but he cant because his hands are too clunky and big and long

but! anyway, thank you for letting me ramble about my beloved son!!!!!! im thinking of naming him finn, but i might just keep it as milo for simplicities sake. since thats my name. also i thought i should tell you that i had you in mind when i made the ‘if yall wanna talk to me’ post. very poggers

endermen are friend shaped and so is he i promise <3

[daaziscoolbesties]

i yearn for one(1) thing only, and that is to have a nice, simplistic, cartoonish artstyle. an artstyle that doesnt rely on anatomy, but the "movement" of the drawing, if you get what i mean.

i dont want realistic proportions and traditional colors and basic poses and gradient shading, i want funky lil dudes in funky poses with funky styles littering my sketchbook :( but alas i havent figured out how to develop that kind of style yet, my brain wants anatomy to look nice but also i dont want to draw eyes. i dont want to take time out of my day to learn how to draw lips i want to draw a line that extends past the characters face. i dont want all my characters to have pointy chins with curved cheeks i want their heads to be round and friend-like or full of sharp edges depending on their personalities and styles. i want to give them all not-quite human ears, blob feet, simple faces, but at the same time i want enough detail to convey the story or emotion im trying to tell.

ive spent so much time recently agonizing over how to use 3d model websites, using real-life references and tracing over them for practice, color-picking from real images to try and do realism and failing miserably, but you know whats easier than that? funky little dudes. little dudes who do not care if their legs are too long or their hair is too bouncy. i dont want my characters to look human.

ive spent enough time on the artfight website to realize that most people who classify their characters as "human" have the most basic ass designs (no offense to people who like basic human designs its just not my thing) or its like dnd-medieval style outfits which i cant draw for the life of me (ive tried). again no offense to people who actively enjoy and draw characters like that. i just need my dudes to have that certain,,, off-ness to them. tails are cool. wings are swag (especially if they arent even like,, fully attached,, ), elf ears are so wonderful to me no matter how much theyre overused, horns are so much fun to draw, and colors!! i have no knowledge in the color theory department so this works great for me!! the only thing i really know is dont shade with black, other than that i just colorpick from references usually but i dont want to do that!! i want the colors to hurt people's eyes but in a satisfying way. like the character's design is so nice to look at that you dont mind your eyes hurting a bit. like how im enjoying writing this post even though its 2 am and the brightness on my computer wont go any lower.

and then another thing ive noticed from being on the artfight website is that a lot of people classify their characters that are anthro/have anthro features under humanoids/monsters. like i made a google form to find some people to attack and someone sent me in a character with some sort of animal (wolf? idk) arms and legs. like dude!! peak character design i love her. but me personally? i cant draw that shit, its so hard for me. i tried a while back and its just Not my thing. nothing against furries i just. cant. and i dont want to either.

and i got another submission that i accidentally deleted that was like full anthro/wolf-like like my comrade,,, i cannot draw animals what makes you think i can draw an animal who acts like a human lmao. i can do like. very basic tails, and also animal ears but i cant do the arms and legs and such i just dont know the anatomy, and i know i was talking about how i dont want to care about anatomy but i feel like for anthros you really do need to know at least basic animal anatomy so you know how the limbs look and shit and i dont have that knowledge and dont feel like gaining it.

and then there were some submissions that i absolutely adored. there was one that like, was vaguely human shaped but definitely was not a human. they had a dark-ish lavender colored skin and horns and tusks and like goat ears and a sorta fluffy tail with spikes on it and they had wings and such and they were such a pleasure to draw i love them. and they had a fairly simple outfit too, nothing too complicated. and then i also enjoy object head characters, theyre so neato to me. i got one of those and i really wish i had the motivation to work on it cause it looks so fun.

i want to make funky characters but id have nothing to do with them because the only book i ever tried writing (key word tried - never got past planning it out) had strictly human characters in it, and most of the books i read are humans/humans with powers in situations specific to them so id have no idea what lore to make with the dudes. assuming i have the motivation to make lore and backstory because honestly i just really enjoy character designing its super duper fun.

(side note a song about trucks doing the deed came on just now and its interrupted my flow, apologies).

i only have three actual characters right now. one is an original roleplay oc whos design is literally athletic shorts, an oversized long sleeved grey sweatshirt, long purple hair, and demon horns. the second one is my persona whos design some sorta medival knight outfit kinda thing? but not ugly it looks really cool (idk one of my friends designed it bc i won some contest from him but the drawing was on a super small scale so idrk the details,,,) with a plague doctor mask and crown, and shoulder length wavy brown hair, dyed bright pink at the end. and then my last one im not too comfortable using other places because theyre a character my friend is using in the story hes writing, and thats really the only place theyve been used. but theyre easily my favorite and im already writing a ton so ill talk about them too.

they're a sorta elf species thing from another planet, with pale green skin and pointed ears. they also have a tail, its like,, super thin, but with a feathery bit at the end. probably not the texture of a feather but i dont know how else to describe it. they have short, curly, almost-draco-malfoy-blonde hair that when it gets too long they can put in a man bun. their eyesight is kinda shitty so when they got to earth, they were exploring some supply closets around the airship. drop off area. thing. like airport but for rocketships and also fancier. yeah. they were exploring that area and found a nice big pair of round glasses with grey frames. and they also found a cowboy-style hat and a sharpie so they wrote their name on the underside of the brim of the hat and stole the hat and glasses (but left the sharpie in the supply closet).

yeah theyre my favorite, my absolute beloved, my child, so cool. i want more characters like them but with maybe a bit more snazzier designs. theyre super cool and all but they could have more pizzazz if they werent in a story where its too late to give them more pizzazz. i just want to be able to give my characters thigh-high boots with a bunch of buckles and fluffy hair with tons of accessories crammed in and abnormally large and long ears that can harbor many piercings and horns that can hold rings on them and special little details on their outfits like who knows what but i dont have any characters to do that too, so i have to make them from scratch, which is always hard especially when you have artblock.

and i also have like 17 characters i need to fully draw, line, and maybe color for artfight before august 1st. so i dont know. i have many things to do and plenty of time to do it but instead i spend my time halfway watching repetitive youtube videos that get boring or sleeping all damn day because i stay up too late doing things like this or i just do nothing at all and its tiring and frustrating but i also feel nothing about it like theres no consequence if i dont do it besides you know. not doing it, not gaining that experience, not making something i enjoy.

so i should do it but i dont for whatever reason, i think its called executive dysfunction but im not sure. this post started out very differently than it ended and i said somewhere up there that i was writing this at 2 am but now its almost 3. this is so many words why couldnt i have put this energy into something productive

[tema-makes-art-sometimes]

Just saw your vent post and I think diving into your self indulgent stuff might help. For me personally, when working on original stuff, that's when I'll think about things like appealing to others/marketability/etc, but when it comes to fandom stuff, the only audience I care to pander to is Me, Myself, and I. Other people sometimes end up liking it, mostly it just goes ignored, maybe a like by a mutual if they see it. I prefer it this way, since worrying about appealing to more people when writing fanfic makes it feel too much like Writing I Do For Work, and I even never use betas for that same reason, it makes it feel too much like Work Writing, when fandom is Fun Writing.

I'm not sure what you do outside of fandom, but you have so much creativity, I've kinda assumed you've either been doing creative work or are studying to go into it--I can see you in a character design shop tbh, I can see Pin being a villain people would just eat up and love or love to hate.

If you're in a creative field, I feel like it's just good practice to go into Work Creative Space and Fandom Creative Space with different intents, if anything for the sake of mental health, as I've been in a very similar place, where silence on my fandom work would make me rethink what I'm doing, make me want to retcon WIPs, thinking "Maybe if I change this to that or this ship to that ship or change this character to be closer to fanon, more people will want to read/will comment/whatever".

You sound like you already very well know this isn't a healthy mindset, so I'm not going to go into that. I'll just say dive into that self indulgence, whether or not you're doing original creative work in the background as a job/part of study. You have great stuff, but audiences can get burned out just like creatives do. Sometimes it's because they're also creatives. Sometimes it's just burn out from seeing so much art/writing/media ALL THE TIME.

Something a professor told me was that if you got to go to an art museum, and you tried to really appreciate each piece, you'd end up exhausted before finishing even one section of the museum. This can lead to the 'mindless scrolling' a lot of the time. Fandom is becoming a large part of a lot of people's lives, but for most people, it's secondary or even tertiary media, and they're already putting a lot of energy into enjoying and appreciating the media they're in fandoms for. (Yes, there are some people who 'set fire to canon' and are in the center area of a fandom, but most people are closer to the sides, occasionally popping in from time to time but not setting up tents, if that makes sense.) So many of those people just don't have the energy to really get involved with a lot of media produced my fan creators, especially if they follow a lot of them and can only comment or otherwise get involved with a few posts/creators at a time. This can be what often leads to some 'visiting' the same 3-4 creators more often than they may go to another creator.

Setting up a place and waiting for more people to filter in can feel exhausting all by itself, especially when you're trying to create more to fill more of that space and hopefully entice more people to pop in and see what's going on.

When you focus on self indulgence for a while, you're not always looking at the door, since you usually don't expect people to walk in (at least, I never expect it), so when people actually do come in and tap you on the shoulder to see what you're working on and if they can see, it can really help offer that extra boost you need.

I really don't think you're doing anything wrong. A lot of artists who don't do what those "How to get more followers" tips still find an audience, sometimes due to the niche, sometimes starting out niche but expanding as more ideas get tossed in. Some artists who by the book, seem to do everything right, don't get nearly as much. There's really not a right or wrong way to create or share your creations. There are just a /lot/ of creators, so a lot of times, it boils down to how people find your door.

These are all really good points so I am going to share. Honestly a lot of my GerCanMano stuff is pure self indulgence but you're honestly right I think I'm probably gonna focus on some self indulgent shinanigans for a bit, and stop worrying as much about getting things out on time and making it perfect

but I do wanna point out this cause it hit me;

I'm not sure what you do outside of fandom, but you have so much creativity, I've kinda assumed you've either been doing creative work or are studying to go into it--I can see you in a character design shop tbh, I can see Pin being a villain people would just eat up and love or love to hate.

I was in school, but I never declared my major so I had to stop temporarily because I honestly don't know what major to be. There's so many things I like to do, but I don't know if I want to make a career out of them if that makes sense.

Like art, I love art and video games, I'd love to do things like animation or graphic design or be my own indie developer, but I worry if thinking about a game like a business slash whats making me money will ruin the creative process. It wont be making things for the joy of making things, it would be for my job because I had to, and idk- that just isn't as fun. Im worried about that mentality sinking in. I like them but idk if I wanna have to take them full on seriously as a career.

I'm trying to get a minimum wage job right now but its hard to find a job right now in the US job climate, especially with the fact that I have to find job willing to cater to a disability I have currently offrecord because my doctor wouldnt listen to me. Which is even harder because Ive had to walk away from jobs before because they wouldnt give me accomedations without doctors recommendation.

I am planning to set up a Etsy shop right now actually. I need to get a printer, but otherwise hopefully soon I will have a store up with stickers and preorders for keychains. One day I plan to get a button press and make my own buttons. I have hetalia merch planned, as well as my ocs. I'd love and have designs for all sorts of stuff, custom tshirt designs- like subtle hetalia fan stuff like pockets on the chest witht he character "sticking out" with familiar hetalia patterns. I have miraculous ladybug stuff planned. My friend gave me the idea of aster's heart as a friendship necklace and I love it, I could imagine all sorts of needle and thread themed pin merch I have a lot of ideas its just designing and making them and seeing if people would buy them.

I dont quite know what you mean by character design shop if thats something different or not, but yes.

Ill save a ramble about pin for a seperate post this ask is long and so is my response so Ill stop

[chronicallywasting]

Minor spoiler warning for things im working on below the cut!!

[Long post]

So lets start of with the story. At first it was gonna be how an enderman and an axolotl hybrid would interact. Sort of inspired by @ nachosforfree's one oc poat with a piglin and an enderman (i dont wanna tag lol).

The character Aether (who i named myself after) was originally from a different story, which one of my first artworks on here is from.

Ester was an entirely new character at the time, meant to be the companion of Aether, who already had an existing personality and backstory.

AETHERS DEVELOPMENT

Aether's original design was sort of meant to be an avatar for a fnaf fan comic i was working on. The avatar was just for authors notes and qnas and was in a much more cartoony style.

After I dropped that, I took that character (who was named Auden at the time) and turned it into Aether. (Fun fact: Aether originally used she/her pronouns, which is present in theur backstory) You can still see the original character at GoldSad-OnO on deviantart, my abandoned account.

At this point I had tuned Aether into a phantom. They sported my black and white hoodie, some oversized jeans, and a fnaf puppet mask (which I still plan on using for certain things) no skin or hair was shown.

After I got into dsmp, I wanted to turn them into a dsmp-sona. They were introduced as an axolotl hybrid then. I also wanted to have them have did (or another related personality disorder) obviously planning on doing plenty of research as to not misrepresent people with said disorder.

It was then theyre original backstory was created.

They were from a wealthy family underwater, and was an only child. Theyre father left when they were 6 and their mother was killed at a party 2 years later.

Aether was originally around 14, but after some development, was aged up to be an adult.

(Around this time I also used the same character, minus the system, as a character in a vent world i created)

After a while, I dropped the system aspect of them, and developed their character even more.

They were no longer a dsmp sona as well. I gave them the story before I created Ester after that development.

The story was about Aether and an unnamed character (i forgot the name) a deer hybrid who fell in love and wished for immortality but didnt get what they wanted.

They were cursed, one of them gaining immortality and the other being reincarnated with any and all past memories integrated into their minds untul they found each other, where they would switch roles and the process would start over again. This would happen until they fell out of love and moved on.

When the 1.17 update came out, I had created Ester to go along with Aether, dropping the previous story.

Aether was given theyre original backstory back, mixed in with themes of reincarnation.

Theyre backstory looked a little like this at this point:

Aether was raised as the princess of atlantis, an underwater city full of merlings and fullbreds (Ill explain those terms later) with their sisters, Adrian and Savannah. They lived a fairly normal life, as normal as it can be with an absent father.

Around the age of 14, their mother was killed at a banquet held for the people. They and their sisters escaped unharmed. They started gaining memories that werent theirs, learning they had lived hundreds of times before.

The beginning, before this reincarntaion process, was the first monster-human hybrid, a phantom hybrid. The hybrid was alone and asked a witch to give them friends, and so the witch became a friend.

The hybrid found some other nocturnal hybrids that they she made friends with, leaving the witch behind. The witch felt betrayed and cursed an eternal life spell- with a twist.

Now, Aether raises theyre younger siblings, and met Ester in the nether, where they were getting attacked by a piglin.

As of currently, ive scrapped that (or the most part) and Aether had become the god of the sky for my current project :)

ESTERS DEVELOPMENT

Ester is a fairly recent character. He's stayed the same for the most part- in terms of both character design an personality. He's kinder, and dislikes a newer character, Teleb (king of the end)

His character formerly was a bit flirty, and had liked Aether as more than just a friend.

He's the former general of the Ender royal guard and close friend of the queen of the end.

I havent done much for his character, and dont plan on doing so in the future. He will still be a character, but will be played by someone else ;)

TELEBS DEVELOPMENT

Teleb is more recent than Ester, created as a way to create conflict in the plot.

He was manipulative and had cheated on his wife, the queen, more than once. He wanted total control and hadnt cared for his child at all, only wanting a powerful heir. Overall, he was a horrible character, and meant to be so. He wasnt meant to gain any sympathy points from anyone, as he had no redeeming qualties.

The only major design change was his eyes going from purple to green.

Now, (hopefully) his character will be having more redeeming qualities, and maaaybe have some pining over mx. sky god over there

PAST STORY AND ITS LORE

The past story, going fro RE:➡Silent since June➡current form was a story with the main characters being Aether and Ester. Esters goal was to find the missing prince and Aethers was to find a home for them and their siblings.

It had many different species in its lore, including merlings (aquatic hybrids), quadrupedians (four-legged mammal hybrids), avians (flightless bird hybrids), elytrians (hybrids with wings that can fly), enderians (hybrids of end creatures), insectoids (hybrids with insects and arachnids), netherspawn (hybrids of nether creatures), mobspawn (monster hybrids), shifters (hybrids that can shift from an animal to hybrid to other animal/human/mob), and fullbreds (non-hybrids).

Different hybrids had their own civilzations and sub species. Shifters could only shift from one speices to another and had sub groups (ie. Dolphin shifter, Hoglin Shifter, Spider Shifter, etc.)

INTRODUCTION OF THE NEWEST VERSION OF THE STORY

This story has been revised, now taking the for of an smp :) it will be called the Passivesmp and will have multiple elements of the past story integrated into it. Hopefully, itll use the origins mod for extra detail and will be story-based.

There are some pre-existing characters that will need to be played, me taking on two of them: Passive and Aether.

The other pre-existing characters that need played are Teleb and Ester. Some extra roles are "the queen" and "the prince".

There wont be any applications of sort as i will ask friends i know if they wanna join. Instead of streaming it, it will be posted on my youtube channel which currently has no videos on it.

I wont tell any parts of the story ideas I have, as i want that to be a surprise. I hope to see you then!