#if its the same for the deep too... :/
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captain's warm hugs! (id in alt)
#opfanart#one piece#monkey d luffy#roronoa zoro#nami#usopp#sanji#my first nongun art in 8 kabillion years. i watched opla recently and it resurged smth deep within me...#idk who of my first followers are still here but one piece has been like T_T urgh. my beginnings... i love this series so much#LUFFY especially - zoro is my favorite but luffy is the heart of the show!!! inaki's performance was really fun and carried that same#vibrancy - it made me sooo happy to see... and in general the romance dawn crew has always been dear to my heart uuu... the la gave a lot o#good bits between the og trio but i def wish we couldv seen more with usopp & sanji too. but maybe.. if we ever get a season 2 :'D#anyway i love the straw hats steadily getting used to luffy's shenanigans and even liking it at some point. the warming up part of all thei#friendships is so dear to me and its just a natural blossom of comfort and trust. and some of these mfs are Touch starved fr....#ruporas art
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How I Met Your Father
#panrao#my art#sir crocodile#monkey d dragon#parents before divorce#lmao im in too deep#this hc will be the end of me#one piece#theyre young in this#so no scar and no tattoo#dragodile#also anyone else notice that Luffy Dragon and Crocodile all have the same circle eye design#other characters have it as well but call me crazy its just more proof
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never change, man !
#phantom of the paradise#potp#swan potp#nightmaretheater#65 layers and about 24 hours . Eeeyyuppp#Look into my beautiful mind boy#Its a bit unusual to what i usually draw#but i had to push a specific look for this piece#hopefully you all are picking up on the corperate look . the advertisment look#Sneeze. Anyways my point is industry destroys creative people. This includes swan#I feel like phrases like these ; how he was put on a pedistal…. it lead him to be Like That#as awful as he is he desperately needed help#it might seem like vanity on the surface#but i think its… more than that#long story short: we need to destroy the beauty industry. the skincare industry. the anti-aging industry#It ruined his psyche forever and he cant let go of the ideal version of himself he will never truly be again#i dont think he can at this point. hes in too deep and hes suffering for it no matter how much he feels hes fixed his problems#he cant accept a version of himself that isnt that perfect young man. because he never confronted his problems. he just ran away#anyways . Hi swath *punches him**kicks him*#i dont care if nobody gets me lalalalla my truths and headcanons are awesome forever and i live in my own reality lallaallal#sorry i think im gonna be posting about swan alot for a few months hes making me sick#i wass gonna post this earlier but my internet was real bad#*lays down in my pile of pillows* eat up boys. haha#sidenote: drawing white blond people is horrifiying. Boy your skin and hair are the same color. Introduce some contrast to yourself. Please#adding on: its inportant to note this focuses on him looking st himself in the mirror alot on purpouse#to remind himself what he ‘’’’really’’’’ looks like#the 4 middle pannels all represent that too . u have to be in my brain ri get this#sorry for unleashijg another swan essay in my tags. will happen again lol
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*grips your shoulders* an eight year old is not gonna act like that. put the pen down. close the laptop. stop writing for a minute. volunteer at a daycare center for a week or smth. an eight year old is typically (unless they're purposely doing it, but at that point you'll be able to tell) not going to speak in one word sentences. that is a child with a possible developmental delay and should probably get an assessment done. that is a two year old with an MLU score of 2.0 who is struggling with their present possessive verbs. look up the average heights of an eight year old because i promise they're bigger than that.
if your six year old is still doing reduplicated babbling and it's not clearly an on purpose active play decision, then they should probably (re: REALLY) undergo evaluation because one of the first signs of a developmental delay is delayed speech. children begin speaking in two word utterances as young as 18 months old. three year olds on average can hold simple conversations with adults. four year olds absoLUTELy can.
i know it's super fun to write children as being dependent and clingy to their parent for your super fluffy found family child fic but that is not a six year old that is a worryingly large two year old with a mild speech delay. you don't have to be 1:1 accurate, god knows i'm not but please at least know that children on average are capable of holding simple conversations by the time they're 4, and are usually doing the baby talk stuff to be cute or as a play thing. which isn't a bad thing but if they're talking like that unironically and ALL the time, then there is likely a problem in their development.
#*wails melodramatically*#starry rambles#starry is an early education major and daycare teacher and is showing off that knowledge.#its not that deep i just get really passionate about child development because its my special interest and what im in college for#and now reading kidfics is that much harder because of it.#*points at the in-fic seven year old unironically behaving the same way as a 9 month old* THAT CHILD NEEDS AN EVALUATION STAT.#like iM GUILTY TOO. IM GUILT OF INFANTILIZING KIDS IN KIDFICS BUT ALSO. EVERY TIME I SEE IT HAPPEN MY TEETH ITCH#AND I FEEL AN INTENSE URGE TO INFODUMP. BUT THAT'D BE RUDE TO THE FIC AUTHOR SO IM MAKING MY OWN POST ABOUT IT#its not that deep and its not that serious i just wanted to infodump
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DAY 71: shy
#codacheetah#isat#loop isat#isabeau isat#isat spoilers#i'll never get over loop being described as 'shy'. what a wonderful image#top one casual remarks from isabeau that cleaves loop's facade#like loop's personality is just a targeted missile to piss siffrin off. they're not at all confident and snarky#they're doing like the physical manifestation of winning an argument against yourself in the shower#second they see the party though Oopsies we're in scary territory. That's your family and they dont know it's you Oops#ok anyways ever since i saw that post i was like damn. this is just how i view loop in party postcanon#for as much as I think they SHOULD go explore around and be their own person for a while i think realistically they would not do that.#theyre going to go be a weird freak hovering around the party and refusing to socialize with anyone but siffrin and theyre gonna feel awful#(read: they're going to antagonize siffrin and it fails tremendously bc now The Rumor Come Out and siffrin knows what loop is doing.)#like loop as much as they can barely stand to even look at isabeau (for instance) i think their claws are sunk far too deep in.#onehats maybe the circumstances are different because there is a gap in understanding. there's no point forcing siffrin to confront the#obvious conclusion that loop is them (and thus siffrin's happy ending nails loop's coffin)#(THIS IS IGNORING TWOHATS PREREQS GOTTEN ONEHATS. BC THATS ITS OWN CAN OF WORMS)#but twohats. idk. for as much as it lets loop release some of their rage and process their feelings a bit. i think it might also be the pus#that makes loop consider their own existence as a person a bit more. theyre not a sponsor->corpse theyre just loop#theyre just somebody who wants desperately. they want to stay with them#theyre still siffrin. if also loop.#i think loop would force themself to reconnect with the party in the same vein as siffrin forcing himself to communicate more.#but of course having conviction and living an experience are not the same thing. so siffrin's going to flounder the emotional honesty thing#tremendously and loop's going to be. blair witching it in the corner.#hey i might have forgotten which post i was writing the tags under. oopsies#idk if these tags are comprehensible at all. i just really want to see loop fail upwards into friendship with everyone
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soapghost circus au
ghost’s an extreme motorcycle stunt performer - globe of death, riding on his back wheel along tightropes, that sort of thing
soap’s a fire breather/dancer. he’s a roaming performer; he just finds empty spaces or bored people and starts twirling
he pretends not to notice the way he always wanders towards a certain tent every night to watch a certain masked daredevil defy gravity. he thinks he's slick and that ghost won't notice him in the crowd, completely forgetting that he's carrying something that happens to be on fire
ghost couldn't miss him if he tried
one day off, soap's trialing fire whips; he loves the loud crack and the way the flame licks through the air and maybe he's a little too impatient to practice with non flaming whips first, even though he's never used one before
he's covered in soot and fine welts where the tip of the whip keeps flicking back up at him, cutting through his shirt and stinging his skin but he doesn't let that stop him. it starts to stick to him, damp with sweat and blood and he's quick to strip it off; throwing it to the side to keep practicing
when soap finally gets a few good cracks in a row and breaks to celebrate, he almost jumps out of his skin when he sees the masked rider leaning against a trailer watching him
of all the times he's wanted ghost to talk to him, this is not one of them
he wanted to impress him, dance for him with his flaming batons and be mesmerised by his fluidity and skill
not catch him filthy and struggling with something as basic as a whip
he's ready for ghost to ream him out for not having control over the whip - he's known throughout the circuit for expecting utter perfection in his routines - but when ghost finally does speak, it's only to ask if he's done for the day
soap falters for a moment. he wanted to get some consistency with the whip before he stopped, but he's starting to feel the hours of practice; muscles aching and skin blistered with minor burns
he says he is and ghost pushes off the trailer, nodding his head to make soap follow. he brings him back to his trailer and tells him to clean up then takes out his personal med kit to treat the grazes on soap's skin
soap's shocked; for all that he loves to watch ghost perform, they've never really talked before
part of why he joined the circus was so he wouldn't be a burden on anyone, the oldest in a family with too many mouths to feed and not even time to nurture, and here he is taking up ghost's valuable practice time bc he wasn't good enough to handle his own discipline. he tries to brush him off, downplaying the burns and tries to leave before half them can be treated but ghost just glares and orders him to sit back down
ghost does expect perfection from himself but it isn’t out of any malice or ego; it's bc he knows if he isn't perfect, he could very easily die. he’s picked a dangerous profession and he gives it the respect it deserves. there isn't any shame in being a novice or failing at something; he thinks there's a lot of beauty in having the courage to get back up again and again
so every day he watches soap practice and bullies him into his trailer to put him back together bc he knows he won't do it by himself
and every night soap wanders over to ghost's section of the fair grounds, in awe of his skill and wishing he could be worthy of the care he gives him
#have i posted this before? yes but it has an actual idea behind it now#anyway back on my ‘soap pushes himself too hard to meet expectations only he is holding him to’ bullshit#price is obviously the ring master and id say gaz is probably trapeze#ghost used to work for robas circus who kept pushing him to do more and more dangerous stunts with less and less safety measures in place#and for a long time he thought thats how it was supposed to be#he was supposed to court death every night. supposed to limp back to his trailer and take care of his own injuries#and its only when price comes to one of his shows to scope out roba as competition and confronts him afterwards abt the conditions#that he realises something might be wrong#so seeing his past staring back at him in the form of soap hurts something deep within him and he has to make it right#he doesnt want soap to have to live with the same deep pains that he does#injuries that couldve been avoided if hed just gone easier on himself#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#soapghost#ghostsoap#ghoap#john soap mactavish#soap cod#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#save post
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crunchy gravel
#for context: i have a vivid memory of walking beside my mom as a kid and being so confused about the difference in gravel crunch-#i wanted it to be as loud as hers but i was too light 💀💀💀#i have been thinking about miri experiencing that same hyperspecific thing#i didnt go about it the way miri does here- instead that memory just nestled itself deep in my brain and stayed there#its one of those memories that comes back regularly for no reason-#buddy daddies#miri unasaka#kazuki kurusu#rei suwa#my art#fanart
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Very excited to see how they'll do this scene in Rebirth
#this is by far my favorite of the gold saucer date scenes not only bc im biased towards aerith#but it feels the most narratively appropriately one#aerith brings up clouds (imitated) similarities to zack in a way only she can as someone who actually knew him#and she kinda starts poking after who cloud really is#most of the party hasnt know him long enough to notice how unnatural his mannerisms are#and most havent met zack and those who have did so only briefly#tifa knows but is too scared to say anything#she almost does in her own date scene (tho u wouldnt realize she was until The Reveal) but cant bring herself too#in the same way she ends up perpetuating clouds lies bc shes too scared to point out the discrepancies#hes vulnerable- she doesnt want to compromise that already fragile stability he has#aerith doesny poke too deep- she knows she cant. but its a start#anyway. excited to see clouds progressive mental breakdown in excruciating detail#cloud strife#aerith gainsborough#questionably claerith but this wasnt dranw with shipping intent#it could be tho. if u want it to#final fantasy#final fantasy 7#final fantasy vii#ff7#ffvii#art#my art#xanders art#digital art#fan art#oh wait#final fantasy 7 spoilers#in consideration for ppl going into rebirth blind
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How did i only just realize that I sound like a teenage boy in audios????????????
That's not how i sound???
#quotidian convos#but then again my voice does sound different in various situations#and also various microphones#in my phone mic i sound like a baby#in my laptop mic i sound like a tired college student or another equivalent#i sound the best in stage microphones tho. because my voice is naturally booming and I can make it be loud to address a crowd if I want to#and bc of that i have to increase it in volume and make it clear and so my voice and pitch also becomes a bit...#not higher but brighter#and my voice changes in different situations too#when i'm at home i wont bother so I let my voice fall down deep and its usually deep in mornings and evenings#when i'm at school its higher and either gets higher or lower or quieter or louder depending on who I'm talking to#when i'm at a professional or networking gathering my voice changes dramatically to an extroverted one (call it my Brucie Wayne Persona)#fun fact. that voice is also the same one I imagine myself talking in online lol. except its more open cuz social media is vastly different#to networking dinners and stage events
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I love ggy so much how did they accidentally make the most intriguing hypothetical gay romance ever
#also the book is just so fucking good#and tony becker is literally the best fnaf book protaganist ever once you understand his character#and how crazy the book writes him#like oh my god hes so tunnel visioned doomed by the narritave#any scenario where tony survives the attack is the best idea ever like fr#its just so fun and awesome to make stuff up with that very loose premise#like u can do anything#and the characters are likeable too because they have FLAWS#tony isnt a bad person hes just in a bad place and is an asshole without realizing#and also twelve#like how am i not supposed to become obsessed with beckory when tony spent the whole book#accidentally obsessing over gregorys evil side and then being so tunnel visioned by his own emotional baggage that it kills him#exactly how his father warned him#and his father is the reason hes even so deep into solving mysteries like#and u can put that onto gregory if tony ever survived the attack#like he wouldnt want to believe it the same way he didndt want to believe his dad did it and repeat history#by delving deep into ggy#like damn every relationship ever with gregory is so fucking interesting#ggy never stop being awesome#pandas.txt#obviously beckory isnt the only reason i like ggy but damn its a big reason#tony and Gregory are both so flawed and have so much going on in their head theyd be fucking crazy together#also expanding on the tony stuff i said earlier gregorys side has so much potential too like#even if tony died if gregory ever remembered hed mourn tony and have to deal with that#even if they werent even that close at the time and Gregory doesnt even like. actually have any memories of being friends with him#and if tony survived its like gregorys remembering this faceless nameless boy as the only connection to his past#like what if they both searched for eachother after surviving what then
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OH ARTHUR BENNETT.. such a gorgeous and intriguing character. terribly burdened by a GRUESOME set of crimes, his light suffocated by a HEAVY century of GUILT. so tragic, so dark and broody, and yet PAINFULLY awkward in any social setting ever
#jrwi fanart#cw blood#jrwi show#jrwi suckening#arthur bennett#OUHH THIS ONE WAS SITTING IN MY WIPS FOR SO LOOOONGwhen i took it out there was mould on it :sob:#BUT i think i was able to fix it up okay#i keep seeing SO MANY MISTAKES RRAAAHHH BUT YOU DONT SEE THEM RIGHT?? THATS ONLY ME. RIGHT?? EXACTLY.#THE KEY IS TO SAY. AND REPEAT AFTER ME. 'FUUUCK IT WE BALL#so anyway. arthur bennett huh? grizzly says that arthur is reaal fuckin difficult to play. and i SUPER get that. i mean LOOK AT HIM..#grizz often needs a minute to think abt what hes gonna say in a way that matches w that Stoic Personality. which is FAIR but also that#ends up making way for awkward confrontations like: the lady in the parky lot. he took too long to answer and scared her away.& I LOVE THAT#arthur is tragic and sad and cool and stoic but hes ALSO awkward and silly and kinda dumb and short sighted. HE HAS COMPLEXITIES#I LOVE WHEN TTRPG CHARACTERS HAVE A GOOD SET OF SHORTCOMINGS. ESPECIALLY WHEN U FIND THEM ONLY AS U PLAY THEM.#I COULd go on and on saying the same things w different words abt arthurs intriguing and entertaining character but i shall spare u. for no#ILL ALSO MENTION HOW MUCH I LOVE HIS FLAVOR THO.. I LOVE TALL HOT BOY WHOS ONE W THE DARKNESS.. I REMEMBER WHEN HE FIRST MENTIONED THE#BADLUCK. N I WAS LIKE OOOHH THATS WHY HIS DESIGN IS SO COOL N CHAOTIC N ASYMMETRICAL. HES UNLUCKY!!! i love love love his design so much...#GRaaauruguguraguhhghghgh what else what else is there for me to spew on abt...i think im reachin a limit here..OH MAGNUS. i hope that#we get to know more abt how magnus and arthur met.. like How they became besties... ouuhh... I ALSO WANNA KNOW MORE ABT MARY DAVIS. LIKEHOW#he also apparently spent alotta time in a zone dominated by edward twilight? all he remembers is constant partying? I WANNA KNOW MORE..#i think i got room 4 one more ramble SO. THE ART PIECE.as i said its gone a lil stale BUT. im still very proud o the bits where hes allScar#I WANNA SEE HIM GET SCARYMORE. I like the idea of shadows solidifying to make him strange and eerie.like TEETH n CLAWS n SPINES n YESS#also the SILVER EYES.no1 does silver eyes like the show Claymore. they make em look so striking and eerie...i also like to think that#human arthur had deep beautiful brown eyes.just in my beaitufl heart.i mean look at him..i wanna cook him n eat him.ANYWAY#i think thats all my ramblin for this piece. now i gotta go cancel a single day i had ata hotel bc my work schedule change last minute FUCK#feel free to ramble in my tags aswell tho i read all of them and i chew on thenm and i love them so sos os mcuh
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"Arrogant, ruthless, and by all reports (including his own) utterly charming."
(I don't know why I drew this but please take Revolutionary War British officer George, I think it suits him, okay!!!)
+ George Russell the type of guy to t-pose in front of rebels
+ the usual
Okay first of all, process, as always:
I drew this in one day hahaha....Actually really fun! I haven't finished anything in almost a month, and haven't painted for even longer, so I'm kinda dying at the fact that 18th century George Russell got me motivated 😭 Sometimes when painting, I realize I have free will and can actually just start painting over the lineart, and that's the best moment of every drawing process 🙏
Also I'm very proud of his face!!! I've said before, but art progression is such a weird thing. You'll keep repeating to your self "I'm no good at [insert art thing.]" And then randomly realized you can in fact do it. That's me with drawing real people's faces 😭 I'm just so shocked I got his face pretty good in one try!!!
Okay about the pose and quote. God its so fun to misappropriate quotes for my own evil deeds. Both of these are from this one officer from the Revolution: Banastre Tarleton. Idk, I randomly saw his painting in a history video, and it's stuck in my mind ever since. And then yesterday, bcs I spent a lot of time looking at George, I'm like "hey you know what he kinda reminds me of-" and thus we have this.
I just found that quote about him from some historian to be funny, so I put it as a caption, as I would with Napoleon. This won't be an AU by any means but. I think if George was in the Revolution, he'd be the most stereotypical, evil British villain in American media type guy ever. And Tarleton is kinda that guy tbh, to the point where him and others like Arnold Benedict are the poster boys of evil Revolution guys. He even has a mocking nickname! "Bloody Tarleton/Ban", very "Osama bin Russell," no? 😭
Some notable moments from Tarleton's campaign that I think fit George: Apparently killed a bunch of American soldiers after they surrendered, making sure everyone was dead(😭😭), threatened to burn an American general's house down to make him surrender and then took him hostage, went toe to toe with George Washington himself and Washington even taunted him and Tarleton got a shot in, has a helmet named after him(very slayful.)
#me rushing to finish this before the race as if its in any way relevant HDJFKGLVLV#please take my historical art ty <3#i just always draw these out of left field things as some sort of blood sacrifice idk#but wow hey!!! a drawing of someone that isnt the same 4 drivers i always draw sjfkkg#atp i should consider doing requests- sure bud.#i was gonna leave who this is referenced off a secret#and be like. whoever knows which painting this is referenced off of ill draw you smth!!!#but i like the lore too much....#i cant resist writing up niche historical stuff its like an addiction#gah george has really crept up on me and this is the final straw djfkkg#as suzuki said to me 'as soon as you make 18th century comparisons. its so over'#VERY TRUE YES.#anyways take comically evil slayful british officer boy George#i hope this isnt way too niche 😭😭 but i know it is already deep in my heart#f1#formula 1#george russell#gr63#f1 art#f1 fanart#formula 1 fanart#catie.art.#also idk how to feel abt drawing smth so british 😭 ...i feel dirty...i feel blemished JDKFKGKGLB#unfortunately i dont think i could draw any drivers as american revolution war heroes 😔#so my only food is comically evil brits. its fine. its ironic.#teh flag is like. the way George is concerned abt the British crown irl okay. 😭
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something something shizukas expressions never facing up like leas does shows how the events she had to experience and live under changed her to be a more closed and defensive person even when expressing emotions that should portray superiority (eg smug) something something
#big dlc spoilers down under in the tags ok ok#crosscode#crosscode shizuka#crosscode spoilers#kinda not really#ramble#could also be to make her look more collected/conniving#though a lot of her expressions she looks actively pissed so idk about that#tangent but i think tronnys expressions work really well for that#its especially noticable when lea confronts him#even more so than sidewells expressions i think#probably because of his eyes#god i love this games character potraits they show so much#probably my favorite game art i think#i think i mandela affected myself into thinking shizuka had an exact copy of leas smug expression at some point#but i couldnt find it on the sprite sheet#which is where this ramble came from#god i hope im not being a dunce#it could have been me mixing it up with the fed up expressions instead#also also shizukas body not moving/expressing as much could also be seen as the same thing#this is also like all headcanon/looking too deep into artwork probably but also no its not im always correct even when im insane
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i feel like some of you do genuinely need to go offline tho bc of all things to have a victim-complex about, being simply told not to date men should not be one of them. that is quite literally what every woman has been raised to believe her purpose is. women are literally treated as inferior failures with no value if we, for whatever reason (including innate sexuality), do not want to be with men. you will live through your boyfriend being called jakey, and you will also live through being told you're not a radfem because you have a boyfriend. it will not kill you, i promise. you will be ok. go offline, kiss your precious boyfriend, and maybe go on a nice picnic date together so you can remember just how normal and accepted, even encouraged, heterosexual relationships are.
#no one is saying u do not deserve love and should die sexless and alone. theyre saying men arent good enough for women and that#radfems specifically should cut men off & focus on women & push for female liberation as a radical collective#theyre basically saying they want women to fight for other women the same way as is done in the 6b4t movement#u dont believe in that? okay! thats fine. u can keep doing what ur doing#sometimes i see women make comments that hurt my feelings bc i feel like my socially acceptable behaviour is being insulted too. i understa#but have the perspective to realise its not that deep and you can do what u want and u will be fine
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*grips Shen Qingqiu by the shoulders*
aren't you tired of being nice? Don't you want to crack under the pressure of the system and the robbed autonomy of being forced into a role you had no choice in but have to play anyways? don't you want to buckle under the realization that, to you, no matter what you do your life is going to end in a horrific death? Whether that be under Luo Binghe's hands or the System's?
Don't you want to realize that no matter all the good you have done and the lives you have changed and saved, you're still standing at the ledge of a cliff with a sword to your disciple's chest?
Shouldn't it be you at the edge instead? Balancing on the crumbling dirt's end of death on either side, and you can either walk into it or be forced?
don't you want to go apeshit?
#I AM SO NORMAL YOU GUYS I PROMISE *visibly foaming at the mouth and gritting my teeth so hard you can hear them crack*#svsss#scum villain#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#scum villain self saving system#HI YES I MAY NOT HAVE READ THE NOVEL AND ONLY BEEN HERE FOR A WEEK BUT I AM. OBSESSED. FIXATED IF YOU WILL#luo binghe standing at the edge of the endless abyss and he sees something snap in his shizun's eyes like metal creaking under#the pressure of the deep sea. or like heat rising too quickly. the steady slow snap of someone hanging on by a thread.#i dont think i've fully understood sqq's characterization howEVER. i think i've got enough of his character down to try and twist it the wa#i think could happen. forgive me if this isnt in character or anything ajhf#anyways i love isekai anything and i think the system could slowly drive someone who didnt ask to be here insane#SY adjusts rather quickly from what i've heard but what if he DIDN'T. what if it wasnt fine what if he was trying his best and it was#taking its toll because apparently trying his best just wasnt enough. his stubborn refusal to view the people around him as people#but as characters following a script is very frustrating to me but also it works in my favor for this. look at the best way to break him is#*stares at SQQ* i think he should go apeshit. as a treat. skin a man alive SQQ. bite someone. rip out their throat.#i know thats prolly not his character but what if it COULD be. what if it IS. people are so nuanced and niche and can change at the turn#of a dime and SQQ has been forced into an unfavorable position and frankly traumatic experience. he could change or he could not and#isnt that FASCINATING? to erode or to stand tall. are you copper or are you a canyon. will you change colors and stay the same or will you#crumble and shear and become something new? when facing the elements when facing the inevitable what will you become?
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I never even considered that parallel, that Anya would have an ignorance to (or at least, vain hope against) Jimmy abusing Curly with his meds. Because they're friends, because she hopes he wouldn't be as callous with Curly as he is with her, because Curly even said himself "I know him." Incorporating that into my world view.
I don't think Anya thinks Jimmy is a good man, but I do believe she would think he'd be reasonable enough not to raise tensions in a situation this bad. She genuinely wants to believe that in their worst moment Jimmy won't be a monster.
Everything has gone wrong. Curly is gravely injured and she is doing everything she can to keep him clinging to life, despite believing he caused this. Swansea has relapsed and is constantly arguing with Jimmy. Daisuke is trying to stay positive but in a way it just reminds everyone of how hopeless it all is. And to top it all off Jimmy is defiantly losing it with all he's trying to do and the responsibility he can't handle.
Anya wants to believe that no matter how angry, how bad and awful he could get with her, he'd at the very least show decency to one person who tried to show some semblance of care to everyone. The one person that always stuck by his side. The person who confided in him and maybe told him how he was struggling instead of her. I don't think it's guilt but she regrets not prying more with Curly, making him admit what's wrong because it was her responsibility to help and she gave him the okay. I like to think even if she never realized Curly didn't crash the ship, Jimmy was the real reason or a big part of why he did and is why she tried to keep Curly from him in death.
It's Curly's worse moment and she's hoping Jimmy will be less of a monster for it. She knows she's hoping on what would basically be a miracle but it's the only thing she has left keeping her going.
#like seriously i think anya felt some weird feeling about Curly obviously not doing well and it being her job to make sure he was in a good#headspace both to fly the ship and deal with personal conflicts and maybe she was also too leinent in letting him off but at the same time#she knows she couldn't have made him open up to her cause thats his choice and otherwise he passed by PE standard but still it picks at the#back of her mind this isnt her fault but is it all Curly's? She sees how Jimmy hovers him in medical and the trails of venomous whispers#hes taunting his friend in his worse moment and she can assume its betrayal but theres something in his eyes his actions even his words#he was not the one betrayed and she has no evidence other than her gut feeling to prove it#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#nurse anya#anya mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#jimmy mouthwashing#i do not ship curly and anya but they are like two striaght people who everyone assumes is dating due to some weird bond tension they have#going on but its just a deep mutual respect and mouthwashing makes them so much more tragic like i like to play with them like house#ask#enigminho
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