#if it's a situation where i could seriously fuck my or someone elses life up i can wrench back control of myself enough

[sol1loqu1st]

i'm going to be seeing a new therapist later this month & i want to bring up possibly/probably having osdd, but i know that since more people have been kinda learning about what DID and osdd actually *are* there's been an influx of ppl claiming to have it (ftr it is NOT my place to tell people they're faking lmao, i don't care if someone claims to have a disorder and then later it turns out they don't & i don't think most ppl are "faking." it's between them & their therapist if they have it or not and it harms no one to self dx, people taking it less seriously isn't the fault of self dxed people either)

but anyway i'm worried that if i go into a therapist's office and immediately tell them i think i have Today's Trendy Disorder i won't be taken seriously. but at the same time there is really obviously *something* going on with me that isn't just normal depression & anxiety and treatment methods for bpd (like dbt, mood stabilizers, etc) haven't helped even a little bit over the several years i've been seeking treatment for it so i'm starting to suspect there's something else going on i haven't been seeing & honestly after talking with my last therapist abt stuff (who i was seeing for bpd/trauma stuff but looking back they were pretty obviously trying to get me to figure out i had a dissociative disorder, whether or not i do they certainly thought so) i'm realizing that some of the things i experience are a lot less normal than i thought and may be consistent w/ an osdd diagnosis (probably not DID because i don't really experience significant memory stuff though lol. i do a little but it's less "can't remember at all" and a little more like waking up from a dream where i can recall the gist of stuff but it feels far away)

i don't even know what id do with a diagnosis though. honestly i just want answers and a place to start in regards to treatment more than anything else

(advice welcome but not expected)

[gutsby]

Cowboy Killers

Pairing: Cowboy!Joel x Reader

Summary: On a mission to find—and fight—your best friend’s lying, cheating boyfriend at the bar, you end up throwing your drink in the wrong face and landing in a sticky situation with Joel Miller, who never plays fair.

Warnings: 18+. Drunk-Assholes-to-Enemies-to-Lovers. Oral (m!receiving). Road head. Age gap. Daddy kink.

Note: My favorite sub-genre of country music is ‘I’m Gonna Fucking Kill My Husband,’ and I think Miranda Lambert’s ‘Gunpowder & Lead’ is a perfect representation of that.

Word count: 4.1k

Forgive and forget.

Forgive and forget.

Forgive and—

“I’m about to lay this motherfucker out,” you announced.

Across the line, your friend laughed.

“Yeah? You see him?”

Of course you saw him. Who else would be wearing a Carhartt flannel and jeans in ninety-four degree heat? Not a soul in this world but your friend’s own lying, piece of shit, hopefully-soon-to-be-ex boyfriend, you guessed.

The game that Old Fuckstick Miller had decided to play tonight was a dangerous one—he was dumb as shit, and you were drunker than a skunk. He was dating your best friend, and she was not present at the Tipsy Bison to see the barefaced clusterfuck taking place before you now.

She was home, over thirty minutes away. He had told her that morning he would be working late, and not to wait up. You were here, at the bar, approaching one A.M. with a Redbull Vodka clenched in either fist and a Texas-sized frown on your face, seeing the very same man with his hands all over a woman that wasn’t your friend. You’d wanted to puke as soon as you saw them. You knew you could never trust a man who claimed to be an Austin native and couldn’t name a single George Strait song.

Your friend had only been dating the guy for a month, and you’d just seen his face in pictures up until now, but from what you could see less than twenty feet in front of you—slightly blurred from all the drinks you’d had—this guy was him. A dick. There, cheating on your best friend.

And no man would get to do that and walk out unscathed if you had anything to say about it.

Your grip tightened on either one of your fizzy drinks and, barely managing to cradle the phone between your head and your shoulder, you gestured over to another friend.

“Dave. Take it,” you said, words slurring a little.

Dave York cocked an eyebrow but said nothing as you passed him one of your RBVs and shimmied off the barstool. By the time he was able to pose his question, your ass, your phone, and your one remaining drink were already wobbling the other way. Vaguely, you heard him:

“Where ya headed, hon?”

You turned and raised your drink, then seriously doubted he would be able to hear you over the blare of the music, but yelled back anyway, ‘I’M GONNA KILL SOMEONE!’

The age-old pro-forgiveness aphorism continued to thump in your brain as you made your way over and began to contemplate every feasible method of murder.

A gun in the face would’ve been too simple—and besides, you’d never owned or shot a firearm in your life.

Poison could be fun, but from the way you were approaching the man now, you seriously doubted he’d ever let you get within a mile of his drink. You nudged the phone closer to your ear and took a sip from your own.

“Closing in,” you told your friend simply.

She’d already given you the go-ahead to execute the confrontation and beat his ass any way you pleased after the fact. Now it wasn’t so much a matter of ‘if’ but ‘when’ you’d finally get to encroach on this little loved up scene at the other end of the bar. The man had had his back turned to you, and the stunning redhead hanging off his neck, likewise, had no idea what was coming. You smiled.

“Promise you won’t go to jail this time?” your friend said.

“Will you bail me out again if I do?” Your grin got bigger.

“Well, duh.”

“Good deal. I’ll be the shitfaced inmate with ‘Fuck Men’ tattooed on her forehead. Wait for Travis County to call.”

“I love you, psycho.”

“Love you more.”

You ended the call.

And you were fully ready to end this man’s life when you saw him lean in to kiss the woman’s neck—that was sick.

You weren’t thinking straight. You weren’t seeing straight

You yelled out, ‘He-e-e-ey, honey!’ without blinking.

The couple turned.

As soon as the man had done a full 180, you flung your drink in his face and made sure the cup struck his nose.

“You cheatin’ FUCK!”

He flinched, sprayed by your vodka-infused energy juice.

The music overhead was loud, but not so deafening as to prevent the bar from hearing your shriek. From the front of the room, a band was playing ‘Gunpowder & Lead,’ and you couldn’t help but feel the song had been fate.

“What the f—” the adulterer started, evidently stunned.

You knocked the Shiner Bock out of his hand and spat:

“Working late, are we?!”

And spilled another patron’s beer reeling back.

“Got a little caught up on the way home?”

Gesturing toward the green-eyed beauty to his left. At first, the girl fixed her stare on you as if you’d sprouted another head, but then, by turns, she was tilting it to him.

“You have a girlfriend?” she hissed.

Cheater McFuckstick was wiping his beard with his hand

Shaking his head.

“Hell no, I ain’t never—”

“LIAR!”

Channeling your inner Representative Wilson circa 2009, you let your mouth fall open and stared at the big, burly man like the Congressman had once done to President Obama all those years ago. The semi-stranger in front of you was far less composed than his political counterpart.

“What the fuck is your problem?!” he snapped.

You felt your cheeks heat up.

“Is she your girlfriend?” would-be mistress said, shrill.

“NO!” you and been-knew asshole yelled together.

You saw the man’s nostrils flare, and at the same time, the woman beside him departed. Quickly. A few people around you cleared the way, while others still stared, gawked, and murmured amongst themselves. The Miranda Lambert cover band continued on without a hitch, though you could tell there had been a stir in the crowd. They probably thought the worst of it was over.

They thought wrong.

“You’re a dick,” you seethed, unrelenting.

You almost expected the man to turn and leave.

You thought wrong.

“You’re a cunt.”

And the man chucked a stray whiskey sour in your face.

The $15 spirits splattered on your skin like the meanest insult of all. His aim was better. Though he didn’t let go of the cup, as you had with him, he did make sure to coat the whole of your twisted look with the liquor, and once it landed, he had had the nerve to do something else, too.

He brought the glass to his lips then drank what was left.

“How’s it feel?” he sneered.

You stood in wet, sticky silence for half a second; arguably, you’d earned that cocktail to the face.

On the other hand, who the fuck did he think he was?

You grabbed a random can of Keystone Light and flung it at his chest to give him a hint—and catch him off-guard.

“You’re a bitch, Tommy Miller!”

“Wh—”

“Maria’s my best friend, you absolute f—”

“What—”

“—and you cheated on her for what? All so she—”

“What did you just call me?!”

“A BITCH!”

“No, the NAME!”

“TOMMY MILLER!”

“I’M JOEL!”

Oh.

Oh.

You and Joel were shortly escorted out of the bar.

Joel’s name, and a trace of bourbon, were still fresh on your tongue when you found yourself stranded in the middle of the Tipsy Bison parking lot two minutes later. You leaned into a car beside you and held your stomach.

“Someone drop you on the head as a baby?” Joel barked.

Presently, for you, the world was tilting sideways, and your head was throbbing at a nauseating tempo.

“Go around slingin’ drinks at any old man you��”

Green. Green must’ve been the color of your face as you braced your hands on your knees and assumed a stance as if to scream at the ground. Rather than expecting any noise to ring out, though, you had only to squeeze your eyes shut and hold onto a hunch for something much less pleasant. And viscous.

Reeking mostly of Red Bull and regret, if you had to guess.

Joel took a big step back, and then he took another.

“Da-a-adgummit, girl, what the—”

He turned away just in time to miss the sight of you emptying your guts on the ground, but not quite fast enough to be spared the sounds of you retching. They were loud. Joel Miller was known to be a largely imperturbable force around these parts, but even he was made to feel queasy hearing that. Out of habit, he clapped his hand to his own gut and stumbled off. He stared at the bar, then at his car, then at the gravel crushed under his feet for what felt like the longest time. Then his gaze lingered to his lower half, and he thought:

‘Please, please don’t gimme no daughters. Please.’

He was forty-five. The time for making babies and raising daughters to be anything like a woman of your ilk was probably long past him. All the same, he kept his gaze on his crotch and sighed. Balls, you better not betray me.

When he heard the crunch of rocks, he turned around.

“HEY!”

Oh, no. No. Not tonight.

You were staggering to your car, keys in hand.

“Hey!” Joel called again, jogging after you.

It seemed the second shout had done him no more favors than the first. You were fumbling to get the key inside the door, and you looked as determined as ever.

Over your shoulder, you tossed back, careless:

“You ain’t the boss of me, Tommy Miller.”

You got the key to turn. You opened the door. You were just about to climb inside what looked to Joel to be the ugliest Dodge Ram pickup he’d seen in his life, when he grabbed your arm.

“It’s Joel,” he growled. Pinching your elbow tight as he tugged it back, “And you ain’t driving anywhere tonight.”

Somewhere in front of him, tilted away from his line of vision, you must’ve been grinning, because the next thing he heard from you was the scoff of a laugh.

“Oh yeah?”

Joel flipped you around to face him.

“Yeah,” he snapped.

Feeling a bit like a kid for mimicking your tone.

What were you, twenty-two? Twenty-three? You couldn’t have been a patron of a place like Tipsy Bison for very long, or else he would’ve recognized you tonight.

Then again, you struck him as the type to have had a fake ID since you were fifteen, so he really couldn’t know.

“I’m twenny-wuh-un,” you slurred up at him, exaggerated, once he’d made you step down from the running board and onto the ground. Answering his last unspoken question with the same, sleepy grin as before. Then lifting one of your hands to wag a finger in his face, “I can drink legal anywhere I want to in this country.”

“Not there,” Joel nodded to the interstate.

You looked to where he’d gestured and whistled. Standing and staring, like he had done to his crotch.

“Well fuck me-e!” you said next, dragging out the sound a childish amount, “You the law or somethin’, Mr. Joel?”

“Ain’t no cop.” Joel rolled his eyes.

You kept smiling. Then you turned on your heels.

And instead of trying to climb back into your truck, you sauntered off—in what direction, Joel couldn’t tell. You were more so bumbling about, turning in circles like the world’s most scantily-clad, semi-intoxicated ballerina. And then you stopped. You put your hands on your hips.

“‘Cause I’m the law,” you resumed in a slow, deliberate drawl. The twang you used was mostly feigned, “And you cain’t beat the law. Don’t nobody get away with that, not even a bunch’a Alabama smart alecks, believe you me.”

Joel didn’t know what the fuck you were talking about. The man was Texas born and bred, and you knew it.

He communicated as much by pinning you with a wide, bewildered stare, and something in that seemed to amuse. You stared back, making your eyes bug out too.

“It’s a quote from a movie,” you said, after a beat, “You’ve never seen Fried Green Tomatoes before?”

Joel couldn’t say that he had.

Joel reckoned there was a lot more than just movies he didn’t share in common with you. Miss Twenty-One. Barely a year past the age he’d been when he’d moved out of the house and tried to make a living on his own.

This woman, this girl he saw twirling out in front of him now probably couldn’t pour piss out of a boot with the instructions written on the heel if he’d asked you to. Joel shook his head and moved his feet, frown etching deep.

“Alright, princess. Up.”

You didn’t seem to understand, until he’d lifted you. Up.

You were thrown over his shoulder and carried to a truck much nicer than yours in less than fifteen seconds or so.

“Stinks in here,” you said as soon as he’d set you down.

Then, sniffing the air—and grinning:

“Aw, hell, Miller…you smoke?”

Joel wished he’d said no.

Wished he’d rolled his eyes and told you to pipe down, stop asking him questions. It would’ve made the drive a whole lot easier, and more peaceful. Nowhere near as painful, either, if he were being perfectly honest—the strain in his jeans had already gotten to be more than he could bear, and all you’d asked for was a pack of smokes.

“They call ‘em Cowboy Killers,” you said, matter-of-fact.

“I know what they’re called,” Joel grumbled in reply. Flicking the radio on and hoping to find a tune that would drown out the too-lovely, cloying voice you’d assumed as soon as you thought you might win a cigarette off of him. More chatty now than ever.

And for one, blissful moment, Toby Keith had you beat. The calm was fleeting. As soon as ‘Who’s Your Daddy’ started to drift through the car’s old speakers, you reached across and turned the knob to the left.

“Gross,” you muttered.

“What?”

“Got a light?”

“Blow me.”

Joel’s harsh, clipped tone was deliberate. The way he’d made himself mean—meaner than he’d been around a woman in a long, long time—was a choice. He couldn’t let your faux sweetness win him now. Not after you’d thrown two drinks in his face, mocked his truck, and foreclosed any possibility of getting laid by way of all your publicized infidelity philippics and shit-talking. Giving in to your charms from where you sat in the passenger seat now would only sink him further in his own esteem. Simply put, Joel’s ego couldn’t take it.

“Okie doke,” you said presently. Shrugging.

“Now keep your—HEY!”

Joel nearly swerved his truck off the road and into a ditch. Your deft little hands had slipped into his lap—and started palming his crotch through the denim.

He’d just managed to right the vehicle before jerking a look your way, staring at your hand, then your face:

“What the fuck was that?!”

“You said ‘blow me,’ Joel!” you huffed, and you seriously appeared as distraught as he was, “Sorry for listening!”

Joel grit his teeth with all the force of a cold steel trap.

“You’re fuckin’ nuts.” He gripped the wheel even tighter.

“I’m aware.”

“Where the hell do you live, anyway?”

You told him.

Your hand slipped down to the seat beside him.

And just as Joel let out what felt like the tiniest sigh of relief—he knew where that was, and the address sounded vaguely familiar—he yelped again. This time, he managed to keep control of his truck, but it was hard.

Your fingers had returned, and they were kneading the bulge under his jeans. Joel flushed from head to toe.

He didn’t have so much as half a mind to make you stop. He didn’t want to see you slink back over to your side of the car. But you were twenty-one, and he was forty-five. And you were both under the influence to some degree. And he was driving, for fuck’s sake. Shit like that only worked in dreams—not on a highway in a town like this.

He turned the radio dial to 75. At length, he heard it loud:

‘WHO’S YOUR DADDY? WHO’S YOUR BA-A-A-ABY?’

He saw you cringe.

“C’mon, Joel,” you groaned, “That’s…yuck.”

The fingers of the one hand kept digging, rubbing, but the other reached out and turned the music down again.

Joel shifted in his seat, feeling the pleasure start to bloom from the pit of his stomach, but not wanting to let you off that easy. Briefly, he looked from the road to you.

“What? You got a problem with Toby Keith?”

“I got a problem with anyone sayin’ ‘daddy’ like that.”

You unzipped his fly. Popped the button of his jeans from underneath the soft shelf of belly hanging over it, and held him, finally. You could only cup his erection through his boxers at that point, but the friction was enough to send a shiver through the whole of the old man’s body. He hadn’t been touched like that by a hand that wasn’t his own in…he couldn’t remember how long. He sighed.

“That why you’ve got your hand down the pants of a man old enough to be your father?” Joel quipped.

He couldn’t help it.

Your hand only gripped him tighter. From the passenger seat, you’d leaned over and started crawling. Scowling.

Your knees swiftly planted themselves on the old, upholstered cushion of the bucket seat, and you slipped a touch beneath the waistband of his underwear. With a hand that was smooth and soft and eager to please, you wrapped your fingers around that base and leaned in.

“You sound like you want me to say it,” you whispered.

Under your hand, he pulsed. His gaze stayed on the road.

“Don’t make no difference to me, sweet pea,” he said, and was amazed how even he was able to keep his tone:

“But those ‘Cowboy Killers’ you wanted…”

Your fingers curled tighter. Your head sank lower.

“…they don’t come cheap, y’know.”

Oh, you knew. He saw a smile snag at the corners of your lips as you brought them to his lap, and he had to force himself to look at the road again. It was empty and dark.

The tarmac stretched out for days. The fields rolling past warned sternly, ‘Don’t let her win,’ and something more in between each tree seemed to invite deliberation—remembrance, maybe. Joel was far too focused on the feel of your mouth to give the woods a second thought.

You’d worked the first inch between your lips in a slick, obscene sort of kiss; you made room for just the head and then toyed with a bead of precum leaking out of his slit. You licked it, squeezed the shaft in your hand, and hummed while the first real moan rumbled through him.

Joel turned to putty with just that flick of your tongue. He didn’t have to see your face to know he was losing.

On the wheel, his grip grew tighter, and he choked out:

“Ain’t your fuckin’ lollypop, kid.”

Then, dropping one hand to push down on your head—make you take him to the back of your throat in one go.

“Daddy wants you to suck him like a big girl, hear?”

At the base of his cock, he felt you gag. From the bottom of his heart, Joel knew there was no sound sweeter than that. He ran his fingers over your skull and tapped gently.

“If you want those smokes,” he told you—and really, with all the warmth and moisture of your mouth enveloping him now, he’d had to try to sound rougher than he was, “You’re gonna do what daddy says and suck him right.”

You gagged again, then squeezed his denim-clad leg with the hand that wasn’t wrapped around his member.

Joel yanked you by your hair and made you look up.

Your cheeks were already smeared with spit and tears. Much to his surprise, he found your eyes alight and soft.

Suffused with desire, too, from what he could see.

“Yes, daddy.” You grinned up at him.

Joel knew if he let your gaze stay on his a second longer now he’d either crash his car, blow his load, or fall in love—and he simply refused to let you succeed on any of those fronts, so he shoved your face back down.

You sucked him obediently. Greedily. Mouth growing more pliant and wet by the second, as if your jaw and salivary glands had contrived to get him as close to release as possible, as quickly as they were able.

Joel took a left onto a road he had only a dim recognition as being connected to yours, and he got that feeling again. You were bobbing your head, taking him further, flattening your tongue along the bottom of his member when his pleasure swelled inside him. At the same time, he felt a sense of dread. His hands were shaking on the wheel. He didn’t dare steal a look down to the sweet, soaked, perfect little mouth sucking him dry, because he knew that feeling would only strike twice as hard. He had to cum, or make you stop, or bring his truck to a halt.

As it was, he felt five tiny crescents sink into his thigh as you gripped him tighter, and a noise bubbled up in your mouth. Your breathing went shallow, and your lips stretched wide—you were trying, and succeeding, in deep-throating his thick, throbbing, much-too-old-for-a-girl-her-age member down close to your windpipe, and Joel could feel it. He hit his blinker, not thinking, and saw a sign that marked your street. Trepidation hit him again.

Fully, this time, in a feeling that was more like terror.

He didn’t have another second to question it, either. By the time he had the old, lone farmhouse in his sights and his heart nearly halfway up his throat with fear, your own throat pulsed, and opened the last two inches to him in. Your nose found their home in the rough, grey, wiry hairs at the base of his belly, having swallowed him whole, and Joel quickly sensed the start of what he knew too well.

He came down your throat in one, two, three, four, five long spurts, and didn’t let his foot off the gas even once.

He saw your house, approaching closer now, and paled.

No fucking way.

You’d wanted to skip the whole way up your drive.

Spit still drying on your cheeks, cum resting comfortably in your belly, and a smile as bright as the sun on your face as you waved to the F-150 pulling off toward the road, you’d never felt more alive—or smug—in your life.

“Is your dad…Lucien Flores?” Joel had asked no more than a second after his dick slipped out of your mouth.

“The one and only.”

Somehow, his face got even paler. His jaw visibly clenched, and his palm hit the top of the wheel. Hard.

It was then that you’d learned your father had hired Joel Miller on as a full-time ranch hand sometime last week.

He’d remembered the address, vaguely, but didn’t connect the dots until he’d pulled up in front of your house and damn near punctured your windpipe with his pulsing dick from how fast he’d jumped up—and cum.

His spend had almost shot through your nose with the force of it, but you didn’t mind. Once he’d revealed the wild, gory, and admittedly hilarious details of his newfound employment, you were too busy laughing your ass off to care if he’d torn your throat in two with his dick.

“So you really are a cowboy, then,” you’d said, giggling.

Joel had scowled. Rolled his eyes. Practically turned the color of a tomato when you leaned in and kissed him.

Now you were waving to him from your front door.

Joel’s truck was slow to go. The taste of him was fresh.

And there, weighing light in your back pocket while you said goodbye was a brand new pack of Marlboro Reds.

2:21 AM

You were safely in bed. You checked your phone.

Aside from fourteen missed calls, you saw:

1:09 AM – Maria

DUDE

1:09 AM

TOMMY JUST CAME HOME

1:09 AM

THAT’S NOT HIM AT THE BAR

1:13 AM

IT’S JUST JOEL!! HIS BROTHER!!!

1:13 AM

ABORT ABORT ABORT

1:42 AM

DAVE SAID YOU BEAT JOEL UP???? CALL ME

1:54 AM – Dave York

Ur gonna fuck that old dude aren’t u

[ponderingmoonlight]

Hii can you pls do a nanami and gojo(separately) make out fic pls??

Okay, let's do this with a little twist...

Getting caught while making out with JJK men

Pairings: Geto x fem!reader; Gojo x fem!reader; Nanami x fem!reader

Word Count: 2,2k

Warnings: well, it's getting heated babes, not 100% proofread because I wrote this in my work break (again lol)

Geto Suguru

You know how wrong it is. This is not the right time, not the right place to stand in a lonely corner with Geto Suguru’s hands all over you and his lips hanging onto yours like you’re air and he cannot breathe.

“Fuck, we should get going”, you whimper into the lonely hallway.

In fact, getting going is the last thing you want to do right now. Not when Riko is busy saying goodbye to her former life, not when your emotions are all over the place. You hid your feelings towards Suguru for so long, tried to convince yourself over and over that you don’t hold those kinds of feelings towards him. But when he allowed Riko some privacy, when you saw the glimmer in his dark eyes shimmering down at you…

You were lost.

And you lose over and over again with his lips worshipping yours like no one did before, with him pressing you against a nearby wall. Countless nights, you pondered about the way it might feel to get hold like this, to actually feel him this close. But reality? Way too bittersweet, way better than anything you could have ever imagined.

“I don’t want to leave you ever again”, he mumbles against your parted mouth before starting a dangerous dance with both of your tongues intertwined.

That man who pierced through Satoru could be here every time, you need to fulfill this mission, need to concentrate on escorting Riko to Tengen-sama. After all, this might be the only purpose you have here at Jujutsu High: Completing missions after missions, doing as you were told.

No, fuck that.

This right here is what you live for. The sensation of Suguru hollering over you like a shadow, of him holding you like no one did before, putting together all your broken pieces.

“I love you”, you finally hush.

“I think I always did.”

“I feel the same way, (y/n). God, I adore you more than anything else.”

Just when you thought your kiss couldn’t get any deeper, couldn’t make you lose your breath even more, he grabs your chin in order to gain better access of your mouth. Now you’re all yours, whimpering under his touch like a little girl.

Out of instinct, you wrap your arms around his broad shoulders, allow your fingertips to grab his soft hair for hold.

“Huh, really didn’t expect to find ya here like that. Well, having fun before dying isn’t a crime, ya know.”

Your blood freezes instantly as you pull away and get greeted by the coldest green eyes you’ve ever seen. The man who fought against, Satoru. Without any doubt.

But…You eye him up and down, blood sticking onto his tight shirt without a visible wound.

Where’s Satoru?

“Leave her alone”, Suguru instructs the man seriously while positioning himself in front of you.

“You’re better off protecting ya little girlfriend from me. She’s cute. Maybe I’ll take her on a date when I killed you.”

Fuck fuck fuck.

Your heart drops to the floor, Suguru’s widened eyes revealing the urgency of this situation all too urgently. Out of all people who could have caught both of you this vulnerable, why on earth does it have to be him? There is no way Suguru will allow you to stay here while that stranger now knows…

“She’s your weakness, isn’t she? Maybe I can teach you a lesson about how freaking dumb love is.”

“Get Riko and escort her to Tengen-sama as fast as possible, (y/n)”, Suguru speaks out firmly while your eyes make contact.

“I can’t leave you here alone, if he defeated Satoru-“

He doesn’t interrupt you with words. No, instead he pulls you close, presses his puffy lips against yours until you feel like drowning in emotions.

“Get going. I don’t want this to be the last time someone caught us together.”

Gojo Satoru

“Get away from me right now.”

Oh, how desperately you try to sound angry while the truth is, that you want Gojo Satoru as close as possible. Your eyes dart left and right, search for the unpromising opportunity that somebody catches you in this position.

This position.

You, caged between Satoru’s arms in the male dorm you aren’t even allowed in, to be exact.

“C’mon, you don’t want me to get away from you. After teasing me the whole day and giving me that looks, you want me to go? Try better next time, princess”, he teases you while throwing his sunglasses to the ground without thinking twice.

“If we get caught here by a teacher…I can’t afford bad reputation, Satoru! What would my parents think, what if I get grounded, what if-“

“I know something better than using that mouth for hysteric talking”, he purrs with his face drawing closer and closer.

“Please, you aren’t even listening to me!”

A mix of panic, excitement and desire rushes through your veins, makes your eyes widen in sheer horror.

If your parents find out you were caught with a boy while actually, you are supposed to be a good student, you’ll be screwed. Especially when they found out which boy you were making out with…

Even though Gojo Satoru is considered the strongest jujutsu sorcerer of your timeline, your parents seem to hate him to the core.

“I don’t care that he’s your classmate. If you ever get involved with him more than necessary, you will leave this school without a second chance.”

You swallow hard. No, there is absolutely no doubt in the fact that your father made his point very clear.

But Satoru does as well. When he wraps his arms around your waist, he catches you just in time before your wobbly knees give in. No boy ever touched you like that, no other boy ever swept you off your feet like that. The butterflies in your stomach become almost unbearable while you can’t help but stare at his eyes.

Those oh so gorgeous eyes.

“I don’t want to hide my feelings for you any longer. Fuck your parents, fuck their threats. As long as I’m here, no one can hurt you.”

You let out your shaky breath you didn’t know you were holding.

And then your lips collide with his. Slowly and sweet at first until your very own longing becomes too much. You grab his back, pull him closer, allow him to access your mouth. He tastes like your favorite chewing gum and strawberries, so sweet that you cannot escape. Longingly, you allow him to suck on your bottom lip until a whimper escapes your lips. This is so much better than you ever imagined, so much sweeter than you ever dreamed of. There will never be a boy apart from Satoru who sweeps you off your feet like this, who makes you feel this way.

“Out of all boys, why does it have to be him, (y/n)?”

Your heart drops so suddenly that you feel like dying right on the spot. That low voice you know so well by now, that low voice that means nothing but trouble at the moment.

“S-sir…Yaga-sama I…I”

You fail to find the right words. In fact, all you are able to do is staring at him with glossy eyes and messy hair that reveal oh too painfully what you just did.

You crossed the line you promised your father not to. You came to the boy’s dorms even though you aren’t allowed to. And you got caught by your teacher doing so.

“Why does a nice girl like you waste her time with trash like Gojo?”, he continues.

“C’mon, you don’t have to be this me-“

“Please don’t tell my father!”

You let yourself drop to the floor, your head resting on top of your hands.

“I know it’s not my place to ask for something like that. But if you do…I will have to leave Jujutsu High.”

Thick silence hangs in the air, so quiet that you’re able to hear your tears fall onto the ground. You shouldn’t see Satoru anymore, should end this relationship before it started.

But truth is…you love him. Despite all the differences and your father’s hatred towards him, you love Satoru. You don’t want to leave him and Jujutsu High, you can’t stand the sheer fact of never seeing him again.

Still, it’s Yaga-sama’s job to inform your parents about your behavior, that you were caught in the boy’s dorm. And from there on there is no way out for you, no way to escape this fate.

“What are you talking about, (y/n)?”

Your teary eyes dart towards him immediately while you have to blink a few times in order to process what he just said.

“You caught me in the boy’s dorm with Satoru. It is your responsibility to inform my parents about that”, you reply with shaky voice.

“And risking that you’ll have to leave Jujutsu High? You’re the only useful student of this year and probably the only one who is able to tame this idiot down. I didn’t see anything today.”

“I am not an idiot”, Satoru protests with a sly grin.

“You can call yourself lucky a girl like (y/n) decided to keep up with you. I hope you won’t hurt her, Satoru. Or else, I might tell her father about it.”

And with that, he turns on his heels and walks aways as noiseless as he came, leaving both Satoru and you standing there bamboozled.

“So…what’s the worst your father would do to me?”

“Oh, he’d totally kill you if he found we made out”, you reply instantly.

Nanami Kento

“I might be gone for a few days, darling.”

Gently, he caresses your back the way he knows you adore it while wearing a saddened expression on your face.

“What mission takes a few days? Why aren’t they sending Gojo like they always do?”, you question with a pout.

You weren’t really able to meet up with your boyfriend Kento for what feels like ages. During work here at Jujutsu High, you aim to be professional, to not show each other affection. After all, this is your job and both of you take that very seriously. But now that you haven’t really seen each other after works for weeks, you can’t escape the urge to simply hug him, to feel his warmth and take in his masculine scent.

Kento breathes out audibly while stroking your hair. Truth is, he misses you like crazy. Despite his desperate attempts to stay away from you at Jujutsu High, he finds himself wrapping his arms around you as well.

“This is something serious. I can’t let the students go out on their own”, he mumbles against your forehead before placing a gentle kiss onto it.

Your stomach drops in excitement immediately. After weeks without affection, just a tiny kiss on your forehead seems to be enough to drive you wild.

“I get that. It just frustrates me a little”, you reply.

When your eyes find his, they are clouded by a feeling you know all too well. Time stands still when his grip around you tightens and his gaze drifts towards your lips. Your oh so longing lips that cannot wait to get kissed.

Without hesitation, you close the tiny gap between both of you. Even though you’re standing in the middle of a classroom at Jujutsu High, even though you both agreed on keeping your relationship out of work life.

You simply can’t right now. A swift motion is enough for him to lift you off the ground with ease while pressing your back against the cool wall. A whimper escapes your lips before you’re able to stop it, all senses directed towards him with your eyes closed by the sheer sensation.

“I missed you so much”, he breathes against your lips before continuing his sweet torture.

“Missed you as well…so…much…”

You allow your hungry hands to re-discover the valleys of his muscular back, his broad shoulders, his oh so perfect face. How are you supposed to stay away from a man like him longer than a few hours? Him with his character of gold, body of steel and brain?

“Nanami-sensei, I-…Oh.”

Your eyes dart open immediately and find a utterly surprised Yuji Itadori staring at you with his mouth open.

“Yuji, what are you doing here?”, you mumble while picking on your messy clothes in the most awkward way.

“Why didn’t I know that you two are a thing?”, the pink-haired boy continues, ignoring your lousy attempt to distract.

“Because this is our private life. Why are you here, Itadori-kun?”, Nanami replies in all seriousness.

“But…That’s awesome! You two go so well together! And I always thought that (y/n)-san is totally into you!”

“Watch your words, Itadori.”

“Yuji, can you please just…leave?”, you literally beg.

“Oh yeah, of course.”

“Wait, Itadori”, Nanami instructs the boy just when he’s about to leave the room.

“Don’t you dare to tell Kugisaki about anything you saw today.”

Yuji blinks a few times before nodding and leaving the room with a smile.

“He will totally tell her everything. You know that, right?”, you comment, still trying to catch your breath.

“Unfortunately, yes.”

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[belxveds]

Could you write a fic where the reader is Stark’s daughter and he catches her and Peter fooling around in her room/main room whilst they think he is out?

caught in a web of kisses

pairings: peter parker x f!reader, tony stark x daughter!reader

brief: (requested!) misunderstandings and compromising situations with peter lead to a whole of cackling and screaming throughout the stark tower compound. a brief look into the life of y/n stark and your struggles with your stupidly overprotective dad and chaotically cute boyfriend.

tags: humour. fluff. borderline crack fic. "enemies" to lover. established relationship.

a/n: thank you so much for requesting! i appreciate it :) it always makes fills me with so much joy to know someone seeks out my writing <3

requests are open!

wc: 1.4k

Perhaps it wasn't your smartest idea to pretend to absolutely despise your father's intern in front of your parents and the Avengers but . . . well- how could you possibly resist yourself when it was so much fun sharing sneaky, mischievous smiles with Peter as you both shot teasing glares across the room to maintain your appearance as rivals?

Plus, it was just a little prank to keep your relationship with Peter, as well as the days spent at the compound, more interesting. If anything, you and Peter were single handedly entertaining the entirety of Avengers with your debates and arguments. You were fairly sure they had bets going on about the two of you. It was harmless, really.

And it wasn't like you were going to keep it from them forever! You would tell them . . . eventually. You just- hadn't thought anyone would find out like this. With you and Peter in such a . . . compromising situation?

You almost let out a small groan of exhaustion as you sunk into the unnecessarily large couch your dad had purchased for the lounge, melting into Peter's side as you fiddled with the remote to lower the lights and dim the windows. Pouting at the sliver of light that still managed to peek through the sunroof, you let out the smallest huff as you closed that as well before turning to take a glance at your boyfriend.

He let out a small yawn before shifting with your attention on him, cuddling into you tighter as he murmured, "You sure no one will be back for another 2 hours? 'Cause I swear if we get caught because you wanted to take a nap on the couch, I will never let you live this down."

Snuggling deeper into the blanket you'd draped over the two of you, you couldn't help but let out the smallest breathless laugh as you responded, "That's if they don't kill you first."

"Hey!" Peter quipped, voice growing the tiniest bit slurred as the nap you promised him began to look awfully tempting, "I'll have you know that I think your dad and also everyone else is quite fond of me, alright?"

You couldn't help but let out a snort as you mocked, pretending to push up fake glasses on the bridge of your nose as you raised the pitch of your voice, "I'll have you know-"

The gentle whack you got on your arm made you stop mid-sentence as you giggled, answering your boyfriend more seriously, "Everyone's schedule says they have stuff going on until at least 6:00, unless they were all just to magically-"

"What happened to, "God dad, if I have to see your stupid intern's face one more time, you're going to have to hold me back from stealing your repulsors and pulverizing the shit out of him?""

You're entire body pauses as you feel Peter tense in your arms, the both of you wincing in sync as you slowly, cautiously, turn your head around to face your dad, voice dragging out as you say nervously, "Uhm...so you see-".

Peter's bewilderment is audible as his head snaps to you, eyes furrowed in confused amusement as he hisses, "Why the fuck are you starting to quote Dhar Mann right now?"

"Peter", your dad interrupts, tone much too pleasant for the situation at hand and consequently sending both your spines into automatically locking up straight as you await his next move, fight or flight instincts activated, "You have 3 seconds to run."

"Mr. Stark, we can talk about this-"

"3 . . ."

"Oh shit!", your boyfriend scrambles, legs tangling into themselves and the blanket in his attempts to get free and run as he presses a ragged kiss to your forehead while declaring muffled through his panicked breath, "If I don't make it out of this alive, just know I wanted you to have my babies and be Y/N Parker-Stark."

The confession sends a surprised wheeze to rack through your body as you see him begin to take down the hallway, sparing a glance over his shoulder at you and your dad before maneuvering himself onto the ceiling and into the vents.

Your eyes tearing up from laughter, you try to speak through your immobilizing giggles as you address your dad, "Dad, father dearest, please- come on- spare him-" "2 . . ." "Dad! C'mon- you have to admit . . . from a completely scientific and objective lens with zero romantic emotions taken into account, considering all the teenage boys out there, Peter is definitely one of the better choices", you tried to level, summoning the critically-acclaimed award winning Y/N Stark inside of you and not the moderately concerned girlfriend worried that her boyfriend's cause of death may in fact be the same repulsors Peter had helped your father tweak in the lab earlier today. How unfortunately ironic. Shuffling over, albeit a bit awkwardly, to where your dad stood, you cautiously peered closer at his profile, trying your best to assess exactly how much trouble you were in. You knew deep down, he truly wasn't all that upset, though, maybe a bit grumpy about having been kept out of the loop for this long. In fact, you were positively confident he was quite happy with who you had chosen. Despite all of his teasing and successfully accomplished fatherly duties of bullying the both of you, it was stupidly evident how much he cared for Peter like a son. Not just anyone was allowed to intern for the Tony Stark, after all.

Lost in thought, you couldn't help but yelp slightly and flinch into your father's side as a muffled voice echoed down from the ceiling, cooing, "Aww Y/N, you really mean that?"

Cursing at your boyfriend's surprising lack of self preservation skills taking into consideration his literal job and particular set of talents, you glared upwards. Hoping your disappointment at his lack of distance somehow radiated through the insulated plaster, you deadpanned, "No, I was just playing. I wish I'd gotten with Harley."

"What?!" squeaked Peter, like a little vent rat, his offended gasp echoing in time with your dad's final countdown.

Giggling once again at Peter's frightened scuttling at the realization that he was out of time, you quickly reached to grip at your dad's suit clad bicep before he could make a motion to call at the Iron Man suit, your voice taking on a more serious tone as you asked softly, his opinion and approval still highly valuable to you, "You're ok with me and Peter dating though? Genuinely?"

The twitch of his signature smirk on the corner of his lips and the nodding glint in his eyes sent a happy thrill through your heart, instinctively grinning wide as you squealed and rushed to give him a tight hug, speaking through a stifled smile into his chest, "Ok, you have my consent to go squish my little spider now. Please don't bring him back to me flattened or burnt- I quite like how he is now." Your father's wrinkled nose and vocal sound of disgust at how you'd addressed his intern sent you into another fit of laughter as he spoke, "Ground rules since I know the kid's out of his freaky super-hearing range. One, ew. Never address him like that again, I might vomit. Two, if I see the two of you touch, I am immediately invoking a 50 year social-distancing ban between the two of you. 6 feet and everything. I'll throw in permanent masks if I ever catch you two kissing. Three, . . . no promises."

"In response- One, . . . no promises. Two, you don't want spider grandbabies crawling up the walls? All I'm hearing is that we can't get caught. Three, I'll tell mom", you grinned pulling back, your gaze filled with amusement and the look of humoured adoration you often had reserved specifically for your dad as he let out a little whine in complaint at your threat of telling Pepper.

It would just be a little rough up. You know, the classic "hurt my daughter and you're dead" speech. And Peter was Spider-Man! He'd be fine . . . probably.

mailbox ༶•┈ peter parker's mailbox! ┈•༶ send letter

[re-termination]

✿ What do I do with a boy like you?

Human! Sebastian Solace x GN! Reader

Summary: Your dear friend, Sebastian, has come to you to ask you a favor. A favor where you two will have to fake date to scare away anyone who were to approach him.

Tags: College AU, fake dating trope, Human Sebastian Solace duh, not proofread cuz I cringe easily^^"

“C'monnn, it's not anything serious! You just gotta pretend to be my partner for a bit.” 

“Do I get any benefits?” 

Sebastian takes a moment to think before flashing you a cocky smile. “You get to be in the presence of the most handsomest guy in the neighborhood-” 

“Bullshit. I do that everyday anyway.” you said as you deadpanned at your friend. 

In return Sebastian groans and pinches his nose bridge. “You just have to! I did not skip one of my classes today just for you to disagree with my genius plan!” 

Genius? Seriously? You could think of multiple outcomes to this situation and none were good, well except one but you didn't wanna think about it. In fact, this was pretty cliché, even for Sebastian. Yes he's an attractive man but c'mon!

Stooping so low as to pretend to date you so others can step back and leave him be? Just what on earth was he thinking. 

“Ehh fuck off Seb, go find someone else that's willing to kiss you and stuff like a couple would I don't know.” In truth you really did want to help out your friend but just like him you have classes to worry about. Sure, you were a heavy procrastinator, but this whole fake dating idea will send your mind spiraling and set you back further for sure. 

"…"

“...Can you please stop staring at me with your puppy eyes, it's unnerving. A no is no.” Even after saying no, Sebastian stood his ground and just waited there intently waiting for a ‘yes’.

You looked up from where you were sitting on your bed and stared back at him. Gods was he stubborn with this plan. 

“Listen dude, I really need to finish up my homework and it's practically impossible to get done if you're bothering me so could you pleassse at least get out of my room and chill somewhere else that isn't near me!” 

You pleaded and begged but what does he say in return? 

“Y'know, if you're struggling with your work I would gladly help you if you agre-”

“Alright! Alright!” You shoved your face into your hands and groaned. “Fine. I help you, you help me, we got a deal but could we talk about it later? I'm being serious about my homework!” 

Sebastian practically beamed at that and rushed to go tackle you causing you to gasp in pain. 

“Of Course! Anything for you!” He said as he began to ruffle your hair aggressively. 

God did your friend know no bounds. You patted his back so he could get off you but it seems he didn't get the memo. “Get the fuck off me before I change my mind!” 

With that he let go of you and started to get up to exit your room. But of course not without saying some words.

“I'll be off then! Tomorrow morning I'll be here early to discuss my genius plan with you so you better be ready to start your day! Adiós!” And with that he's out.

“Fuckin finally.” You set your notes to the side and stretched a bit. God just what did you get yourself into this time. You would've led an average life if it wasn't for your good for nothing friend but whatever he's a good person so what's the worst he could do? 

Little did you know this was all going according to Sebastian's plan.

Authors note: I seriously do not know if I wanna keep that as a one-shot and let others interpret how it goes or make this a series. I literally only thought of this while procrastinating my own work sooo yeah there's goes my burst of inspiration.

[icyg4l]

PAC: What Do You Need to Let Go Of?

Hello beautiful people! Today is Saturday aka Saturn Day. In honor of Saturn Day, the day associated with banishment, protection and responsibility. Today is the day we let go of what no longer serves us; the day where we can no longer ignore what sits heavy on our spirits. So without further ado, please choose your Saturn.

**If you really loved this topic then you should book a reading with me, please read my guidelines and then message me privately! Also, if you had received a reading from me, don’t be afraid to leave a little feedback! Please and thank you in advance. 🫶🫶🫶

Top Left-to-Bottom Right: (1-6)

PILE ONE: “No More Mr. Nice Guy” is what I heard. I feel like you tend to have a lot of love & compassion for people. This doesn’t necessarily translate over to the other person/people though. You need to stop being so nice, Pile One. I think you have a lot of growing up to do. There is good and bad in everyone but what really matters is how this person makes you feel. Stop caring about the feelings of other people if you aren’t going to take yourself into consideration. This is why you always get taken advantage of. It’s okay to be a moody bitch sometimes. Having a sunny disposition 24/7 just isn’t realistic. Don’t act naive when you know the truth about certain situations. Move intentionally and with wisdom. If you don’t think they won’t do that, think again.

Cards Used: The Star, King of Cups, 7 of Cups, The Fool, The Moon, The Tower, Judgment.

PILE TWO: The movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind may resonate with you. I feel like you need to let go of your ex, seriously. You don’t have to forget about them but you do need to move past this person. They have caused much turmoil in your life, especially when it comes to your mental health. They could have indirectly negatively affected your finances as well. But there is someone else who is on the horizon. They want you to see the bigger picture. They want to show you better. If you have been writing notes about what you would like to see in your future partner, expect for these qualities to show up in someone that will soon approach you. They have a beautiful, colorful aura and they will let you shine. Your ex fucked you up bad but you can recover from this. Don’t be afraid to see what love has in store for you, my love.

Cards Used: King of Cups, The Magician, 2 of Cups (RX), The Star, The High Priestess, 5 of Wands, Judgment, Strength, The Fool.

PILE THREE: You’re a Virgo/Sagittarius, aren’t you? You don’t have to know and control everything, honey. Let go of the need to be involved in everything. You have been neglecting your soul’s needs. You have a lot of potential to grow but you don’t know how to accept help nor do you allow yourself to just be. You’re so uptight and burnt out right now. It would benefit you to just walk away from stress-inducing situations. If you know you can’t take that extra shift at work, why even bother? Who are you trying to please? You are making it hard for yourself to maneuver through this world peacefully because you do not know how to enjoy what’s in front of you. If only you could see the beauty of your labor. Slow down. Why are you going so hard for? You’re so used to making things happen that you get frustrated when things don’t work out your way. A word of advice: Please just allow time to do its thing. Don’t work against it.

Cards Used: The Sun (RX), Ace of Cups, Strength, 2 of Discs (RX), King of Wands, 7 of Wands (RX), 3 of Discs, 10 of Swords, The Magician, The Hierophant.

PILE FOUR: Christmastime must be your favorite time of the year, huh? I feel like you could also have a strong connection to Mariah Carey as well. Her book is on my mind heavy as I’m reading for you. I feel like you are so used to dysfunctional relationships. You have the tendency to move fast with people. I’m going to hold your hand when I say this, they ain’t going nowhere! Let go of your lovebombing tendencies and show up as your real self. I don’t think you see this as that but it is. You don’t seem to be big on communication. I don’t think you had the best role models for any kind of relationship so you just do what you know. But this does not translate well with other people, which results in chaos. Unpack why you interact with others the way that you do. You too, have a lot of growing up to do, my friend.

Cards Used: Knight of Wands, King of Swords, Queen of Cups (RX), Four of Wands (RX), Ace of Wands (RX), The High Priestess, 8 of Wands, 3 of Cups.

PILE FIVE: “Shut up and dance.” No seriously, shut up and dance. I feel like you are someone that refuses to be seen dancing in public or just in general. There is no need to feel like that. Let go of your shyness, babe. I feel like you actually have good dance moves, you just don’t want to be seen for some reason. Dancing will help you get more comfortable in the spotlight. You have gotten too comfortable in your little bubble. The next time someone asks you to dance, accept the offer (especially if it’s zydeco, salsa or kompa 🙈). You’re never too cute to dance, pookie.

Cards Used: The Hermit, Knight of Discs, The Chariot, 6 of Wands, The Empress, King of Discs (RX).

PILE SIX: Why are you wasting your time arguing with everyone? You need to master the art of preserving your energy. Let go of the need to prove yourself/defend yourself to other people. You exist just like everyone else on this planet but somehow you always end up in a verbal altercation. Is it worth it? I’m sure there’s plenty of alternative options you could choose. Just walking away could do you some good. You are the type of person to catch someone in a lie. Instead of cursing them out, you could just laugh in their face or block them. You could channel this energy into something else. It is normal to experience anger. But just know that you could always get in trouble if you never control it properly. Get a handle on your emotions. Be more logical & cutthroat. I think you definitely could benefit from taking the high road. Your soul is tired. Give it up, babe.

Cards Used: Knight of Swords, Queen of Swords, The Lovers, 8 of Cups, Ace of Swords, The Hermit, Justice, The Moon, The Star.

[sunny44]

You shouldn’t let her go

Pairing: Lewis Hamilton!girlfriend reader x Max Verstappen!ex-girlfriend reader

Warnings: stupid Max, pregnancy

Summary: Max left his fiancée after years of relationship because he felt he couldn't stand being tied to someone anymore so after almost two years she shows up in the paddock with Lewis and he realizes he shouldn't have let her go.

Ps: just to make it clear, I am not in favor of the rivalry that is imposed on Lewis and Max, I know they are not friends but the reality does not match my stories, this is fiction so don't take it personally.

Next Chapter

When he decided that our relationship should end I thought he was joking.

For days and weeks I couldn't believe that this was real, but my mind was made up as soon as I saw pictures of him on the internet with women in parties.

It was then that I realized that our engagement was over.

I don't think I have ever suffered so much in my life, I never thought that I would be isolated for months.

I suffered so much that I started to stop eating, in the beginning I ate very little but as the days went by I decreased until I almost stopped completely but luckily my mother saved me from being at the bottom of the pit.

The first months were difficult, I had been used to our own routine for years and having to leave it suddenly was extremely difficult, in fact I was torn out of that routine.

I had to leave where I had lived for years since the apartment was his, I had to learn to take care of my place by myself since now there was no one else for me to share my tasks with.

But 5 months later I met someone, someone who made me have those feelings again, the feelings that I thought after Max I would never have again.

I already knew who he was and he also knew who I was but the fact that he was Max's enemy but leads meant that we never really talked.

Lewis and I had been dating for almost 9 months when he ask me to be his girlfriend and I remember being extremely happy that he was taking our relationship as seriously as I was.

And since that day we have been together and today would be the first time I could be in a formula one paddock since Max and I broke up.

Today was the Dutch GP and Lewis and I were on our way to the paddock, him and I had agreed early on in the relationship that we would only go public when we were comfortable letting the world know about us. I know how well this world works, if you don't do something people judge you and if you do something they judge you anyways.

And I knew what the fans would say that I was a hustler who only dates drivers and that since I got dumped by one I went after another.

But they don't know the half of it because the part where I suffered they don't care because one of the most coveted pilots became single so they can go after him and try their luck and some of them really do.

Most of them are like that, they go from city to city in nightclubs chasing silly girls who are willing to have their one minute of fame for being able to say that they fuck a formula 1 driver, but in the end this is nothing because in years of relationship he can forget you in one day so how long does it take for them to forget a simple fuck?

When we arrived in the paddock I could already feel my nervousness and so could Lewis, he knew I was afraid to come but not because I was here again or even because I had to see him.

But because of the fact that I would be judged for dating a driver who doesn't get along well with my ex for clear reasons.

But I'm already expecting that his fans don't like me.

"Are you okay?" He asks looking at me but I don't answer and just stare at nothing. "Hey, baby."

"Yeah?" I asked looking at him.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Again he asks and I don't answer. "I'm not sure we picked the right GP to do this."

"In this situation there is no right GP. But I think we picked the worst one." I say and he laughs. "Look they are going to hate me anyway with us showing up together today or in the next race so let's just get over with."

"That's the way to talk." He says cheerfully and we get out of the car.

When we got out of the car and were getting in it seemed like the world had stopped around the two of us, the flashes and noises of the cameras, the movement was so big that even some of the drivers that were scattered around looked and were surprised at what they were seeing.

Halfway there I felt Lewis taking my hand and intertwining our fingers and confirming what people were thinking.

We walked to the Mercedes garage and before we entered I could see him standing in front of the Red Bull garage with some people from the team talking to him but Max was more focused on me than on them.

When we got inside I went to say hello to the people from the team, some faces were already known but most I didn't know who they were.

"We have an unexpected visitor." I hear a voice behind me and I recognized it right away by the accent.

"Hi Toto, how are you?"

"Fine and you?"

"I'm great taking all the attention."

"It's almost as if Beyoncé is walking into the paddock."

"I felt like her." He laughs.

"I'm going to go change and be right back okay?" Lewis says and I nodded and he gave me a kiss before heading to his room.

"I'm going to get some coffee, will you let him know for me?" Toto agrees and I leave to get a cup of coffee.

Which I shouldn't have done if I knew Max would find me and come after me.

"Hi."

"Hi Max."

"Good to see you, you look great."

"Thanks."

"And how are you?"

"Fine."

"I haven't heard from you anymore."

"You wouldn't have had to know, you made it very clear that you didn't want me in your life anymore the last time we saw each other."

"And that was the biggest mistake of my life.”

"That’s your problem now." I said walking past him but he held my arm. "Can you let go of me?"

"Are you really with him or was that whole scene just to make me jealous?"

"Pay close attention because I'm only going to tell you once, you broke up with me and it was you who broke my heart. You don't know what the hell my life was like after you dumped me, so don't come to me wanting to know about my life because I don't owe you anything.”

"I'm sorry I was an asshole and I deserve that you are angry with me but seriously you are dating him? You didn't even like him."

"YOU didn't even like him Max I've never even spoken to him to draw those conclusions. And you are rivals on the track but off the track you have no connection."

"So you're dating a guy who hates me? After everything we've been through?"

"And after everything we've been through you dumped me like that for no reason at all so it looks like we're even." He looks at me with anger and sadness at the same time. "And for your information yes I am dating him and it's been a long time, it's not something recent that happened just so I could make you jealous. So leave me alone."

I turned to leave and after a few steps I stopped and looked at him.

"Actually I do owe you something.” He looked at me. "I owe you a thank you for breaking my heart years ago because then I could meet a guy who really loves me and who sees a future with me unlike you who only saw me as a trophy that you dragged everywhere."

Having said that I actually left and went to get a coffee which would actually be a tea since I was avoiding drinking too much coffee.

After buying the tea and a donut that I couldn't resist when I saw it I went back to the Mercedes garage seeing a super worried Lewis.

"Oh my God, where were you? I was worried when I came back and didn't see you here."

"I asked Toto to tell you I was going to get something to drink."

"He had to go to a meeting and must have forgotten."

"I'm fine, don't worry."

"You look a little pale, is something wrong?" He asks, running his hand over my face and I know why I was pale but I wouldn’t tell him right before the race.

"I had a forced conversation with Max on the way over."

"What did he do? Did he hurt you?"

"He didn't hurt me he just wanted to know if we were really together or I was just using you to make him jealous. But I'm not." I hasten to say."

"I know don't worry about it, don't worry about him okay? He's not worth your time."

Lewis put his arms around my waist bringing me close to him and I held his face and kissed him until we were interrupted by the crew calling Lewis to get in the car because the race was about to start, he kissed me once more and went to the car.

I didn't remember how torturous and agonizing it was to have someone you love racing at over 300km/h, every time it seemed like someone was going to crash and I was scared to death that something was going to happen to Lewis but I knew that he was an excellent driver and had total control of what he was doing.

That was until he started to lose positions and that made me and the team worried because the car was the best of the weekend.

Max was first now and I could almost hear his laughter in my head and it really pissed me off.

"Y/n come here." I heard Toto calling me and Bono handing me a microphone.

"Why are you giving this to me?" I picked up the headset in confusion.

"He's nervous for some reason and we can't calm him down so try talking to him."

"Lewis can you hear me?" I ask after I put the headset on.

"Honey? What are you doing there?"

"You need to concentrate, what's going on?"

"I keep thinking about you and him, and it's distracting me. I'm afraid that after you talked today you might want to get back together with him.”

"Don't think about it, I love you and I'm never getting back with Max, understand? I couldn't even."

"Why couldn't you?"

"Because me and our baby love you and we are here rooting for you too."

"Our baby?" he asks without understanding.

"I'm pregnant babe."

"Are you serious?"

"Yes, I am."

"Are we having a baby?"

"Yes we are." I could hear him laughing with happiness. "So go get him."

Right then he sped up and sped up as if his life depended on it and on the last lap he passed Max and the whole garage celebrated, when he crossed the finish line we all went in front of the podium where I went running with the team and stood right in front, he jumped out of the car and celebrated and then came running towards me and kissed me, he pulled me through the fence hugging me even tighter. He bent down and kissed my belly making me laugh through my tears and the look on Max's face that came second didn't go unnoticed, I don't know if it was me but their eyes seemed to shine with the tears but at the moment I didn't care because my happiness was there with me celebrating his victory.

Bonus scene!

Yourusername instagram post

Liked by LewisHamilton, yourmom, mickshumacher, landonorris and others 82937

Yourusername After feeling lonely and unhappy for years I finally found someone who makes me feel like the most special woman in the world. I can't thank you enough for making me shine again and for making me a better person.

And now that our family is growing, I can only thank you for always being there for us, I love you so much.

Tagged: LewisHamilton

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[nightcolorz]

Going to vent to you because this seems like a safe space for Armand sympathizers lol…

LIKE obviously Armand is doing all the wrongs, he didn't have to agree to literally any of this, blah blah etc etc BUT GIRL. if the guy i had been casually dating for two years because he had great benefits one day revealed to me that he was a child sex slave, the thing i would not do is be like 'wow, i guess what you're secretly saying is you want me to turn our relationship into an unnegotiated 24/7 TPE huh'.

And then when he came to me in a panic to tell me his life is falling apart and his employees are plotting to kill him and his protection isn't going to last much longer and i should flee the country for my own safety because he's the most vulnerable he's ever been since the time he was abducted by the crazy torture cult, the thing i absolutely would not do at that moment is surprise him by introducing that dynamic into our relationship completely out of nowhere and then order him to stay right here because I've got a totally cool plan to outmanipulate his enemies and I'll be his master now :)

And then I orchestrate a series of hot public encounters where i blur the lines of being angry and disgusted with him right up against ignoring the boundaries he sets and telling him to do whatever i want wherever i want. and because i never bothered to ask him, i don't know if he's genuinely into it or if it's because i've weaponised his trauma when he's feeling unstable, but like, he's the one who manipulated me into doing this anyway by telling me his sad backstory, so actually i'm the victim here??

AND THEN when I tell him my awesome idea of turning a nazi collaborator into a human eating monster machine and I want him to do it even though he is clearly revulsed by this idea from every angle, I'll berate him endlessly for refusing and be annoyed with him because by saying no he's making me turn her and that's not cool bro, and when he begs me not to do it, or at least not to tell him because it's breaking the rules and he's vulnerable to the machinations of the coven rn, I'll shut him up with my dom routine, and then tell him to come watch because he'll realize he does actually want it after he does it.

and when he asks me whether this is a genuine invitation in this moment or if I'm ordering him to do it and will be upset if he doesn't, I'll be so hurt and angry with him because wow, I can't believe after months of using my nonconsensual game of acting like his childhood master to get him to do things for me, he's acting like I'd use my nonconsensual game of pretending to be his childhood master against him, fuck you for trying to manipulate me right now you worthless piece of shit </3.

like even daniel, the most neutral and ethical judge of whether it's okay to make someone a vampire, can tell the only reason he'd set his one boundary at murdering and cursing another human being for eternity is because it's not hot or convenient, and not because of 500 years of witnessing the most insane vampire maker shenanigans known to Europe.

and then the entire audience claps because honestly i'm just trying so hard and my boyfriend just keeps fucking it all up for me and taking away my choices. literally what else could i have done in this situation :(

AHHHH ANON U ATE THIS UP ‼️🙏 and Yes this is absolutely THE safe place for Armand sympathizers!! I am the Armand sympathizer king and u have just brought me an Armand sympathizer gift lined with gold and jewels and placed it in front of my thrown and I’m knighting u Armand sympathizer general as I bow before u

ur so right and it’s actually so crazy to me that this isn’t a more popular take. it’s insane to me bcus im remembering how seriously this fandom was taking Claudia’s s1 sexual assault and how sensitively it was being discussed and now these same ppl r insisting that it’s unfair to “demonize” Louis for preforming non consensual bdsm with a csa victim without any safe word or prior discussion specifically because he told him about his csa and Louis found a chance to leverage control in this relationship. I saw someone insisting that it’s ridiculous to interpret Louis as sexually exploitative for being a pimp because he was a nice pimp and he was self aware about how pimping was bad and like ??? 😭😭 how do I even argue with that, that is just so absurd I’m lost for words. No guys he was one of the good pimps because he “didnt take advantage of his position” (😭⁉️) and he knew that it was wrong to sexually exploit vulnerable women and just chose to do it anyway so see it wasn’t that bad. And because Louis knows sexual abuse is wrong and chooses to do it anyway despite this he clearly isn’t mirroring the sexual abuse Armand experienced in his non consensual power play dynamic with him because uh yeah he wouldn’t do that ig 😭. It’s not like Louis canonically is capable of using sexual exploitation to manipulate people’s vulnerabilities for his stability and gain. Like guys book Louis also felt guilty for being a slave owner and knew it was wrong 😭😭 am I gonna hear “it’s unfair to say Louis being a slave owner was indicative of his negative traits cuz he felt bad about it” come out of ur mouths 😭⁉️cuz oh my god I hope not 😭 “Louis was only a pimp because pimping was his way of keeping his family afloat and asserting the masculine identity he felt obligated to preform for his safety” and he is doing the same thing with Armand guys obviously??!! He is taking advantage of armand’s history of sexual abuse to keep himself safe from vulnerability with the coven and to assert his masculine identity as a shield like 😭 and that doesn’t stop what he’s doing from being wrong like no fucking shit. He’s a complex character and his actions come from a place of fear and not straight forward evil, but that doesn’t mean u have to defend literal sexual abuse to analyze that and to enjoy Louis as ur favorite character 😭 I keep saying this but louis is a great character and there’s nothing wrong with him being ur fav but it is pretty mf weird to insist that everything he does is ok when things that he do include like, non consent 😭

I feel ur annoyances so hard anon, it’s driving me a lil crazy rn cuz in s2 ep6’s wake i have barely seen anyone discuss the Louis fucking Armand in the coffin scene like it was pretty shitty and abusive and not like, non complexly hot and fun and nothing else. Like, Armand has been panicking for a while and insisting to Louis that he is loosing respect from the coven and therefore his control and he’s in danger because of it, and Louis decides to stroll into Armand’s office unannounced, demand he strip for him immediately, demand again without any room for argument when Armand says he can’t, and then fuck Armand in view and ear shot of the whole coven in a degrading power assertion that Louis knows will put Armand in even more of a vulnerable and compromising position, like ?? I get it read the pages to me while I fuck u was pretty hot but omg can we talk about this with some nuance 😭⁉️ this is possibly the most overt instance of Louis not asking, *demanding* that Armand sexually submit and preform for him specifically as a grab to assert dominance over the coven. And Armand of course won’t say no, he’s been quite literally trained to believe that he has services that people r entitled to take from him at any time because he’s a product to be used. He also believes that saying no is not an option because submitting to the master will keep him safe, and Louis I think knows this to an extent and knows that taking advantage of this will help him stay afloat. I believe that this scene was a significant contributor to Armand deciding to betray Louis, because Louis’s actions *do* put him in danger with the coven and cause him to loose his position of power (Santiago mocking him for getting fucked by Louis cough cough). And Armand at this point is realizing, I can choose to be in a relationship with Louis that is causing my sense of stability and safety to fall apart, or I can choose to regain my position of power by forgoing Louis and getting to retain my safety. When u think about it like that it makes perfect sense for him to do that 😭 and I’m tired of seeing takes treating Armand like he’s a sneaky little snake and not a cornered animal

on the subject of Daniel because u mentioned him at the end there, oh my god it has pissed me off since the beginning how a lot of people act like Daniel is the embodiment of the neutral, unbiased correct word of god figure who is just telling the audience how it really is. Like?? No??? 😭😭 Daniel is a shitty journalist and a shitty person, he’s borderline racist and ignorant, he is not looking to expand his perspective or approach his subjects with any empathy or nuance because he decided going in that he hates them and they r bad, which is like?? Defeats the entire purpose of the affective journalism that he is trying to preform 😭😭 He is NOT the guy u should be getting ur takes from, he is a character like any other, he is not a source for correct analysis or meta or unfiltered truth.

But anyways lol, not to be personal and vulnerable in the gay vampire sex tv show post but it’s rlly disheartening for me to witness this blatant excusing and downplaying of a sexually abusive dynamic as someone who has experienced a very similar type of “but was it technicallyyy non consensual though..?” Sexual abuse. Like guys pls 😭🙏 I thought that “bdsm dynamic that merges with actual, genuine grabs for control and blurs the line between fun sex and real demands or anger” was like considered unambiguously bad? 😭 There asses do NOT have a safe word. In conclusion anon u r everything to me and everyone else um USE UR BRAIN🔥🔥🔥🔥

thank u sm for the ask OMGG ur so well spoken and correct and I enjoyed reading ur ask so so much

[beachbabe000]

A stiff // Matt sturniolo

description: Matt disapproves of your date

Warnings: Smut, the usual things that come with smut, fem reader.

It’s been about 9 months since me and Matt had broken up. Still being friends with his brothers though you still hang out. Which has been harder for him than it has me. It makes sense because I was the one who broke up with him.

It’s been hard for me as well. But he’s visibly uncomfortable every time you see each other. I still try to keep things friendly. It’s not like I wanted to lose him completely as a friend. We did start as friends and it was a good friendship, but we’re currently still in the process of fixing it.

Which is probably why the day all of us were out eating and I mentioned that I had a date that weekend, he got upset.

“What? A date?” He asked in a obviously upset way. We all looked over at him. “Yes?” you respond. You didn’t think that at this point it would be that big of a deal. You haven’t gone out with anyone since they broke up.

“Matt chill. Don’t freak out.” Nick says to him. “How could I not freak out Nick?” Nick gives him a confused look. Every one else seemed to think the same as you about the whole situation. “It’s just a date dude. It’s not the end of the world.” Chris chimes in, mouth full of his burger. Matt starts to get up and grabs his key, “I’m gunna wait in the car.” He walks out of the restaurant. I’m watching him from behind as he leaves. “Dude. Don’t worry about him. He’s just still salty.”

I look at Chris, “But how? It’s been 9 months. It’s been almost a year.” Nick goes to open his mouth to respond but Chris interrupts him. “He’s just still in love with you.” My eyes widen. “Chris! Don’t fucking interrupt me.” Then looks over at me again. “Don’t let that hold you back though. You can do whatever you want. It’s your life.” I nodded, looking down at my fries. It did affect me, but Nicks right.

The day of your date you were over at their house. Nick was helping you pick out an outfit. “Slay. I hated the other one. This one’s it.” Sitting in his bed against the headboard fiddling with some random object. I took a deep breath looking at myself in the mirror. “You sure?” “Oh yeah. You look amazing.” I nodded, “Okay, well, here goes nothing.”

He had pulled up to their house to pick you up, it was the easiest since you were hanging out with Nick. You pull the door open and get in, “Hey! Thanks for picking me up.” He doesn’t even glance in my direction. “Yeah no problem. So i’ve got a pretty cool place picked out. I think you’ll enjoy it.” As he starts driving. “Okay cool. I’m excited.” A smile plastered on your face.

What you didn’t know was, someone was watching from their window as you drove away.

You were halfway through dinner. Things were going well. He was super polite, very sweet. Though he seemed a bit boring. “I’ll be right back.” You say as you start to stand up. “Where are you going?” He asks, giving a hard stare. You were taken aback by this response. “The bathroom?” You say pushing your chair back in. “Sure, you can go.” I furrowed my eyebrows. Did he just give me permission to go to the bathroom? I didn’t realize I needed to ask.

I walk to the bathroom shaking my head at the audacity. Once I’m done and washing my hands I get a phone call. I look down at my phone to see it’s Matt. “Yes Matt?” I answer, slightly annoyed he’s calling me in the middle of my date.

“Your date looks like a stiff.” A confused expression crossed my face. “What do you mean? You didn’t even see him.” His next response caught me off guard. “I bet he can’t even kiss you as good as I can. If it were me I would have already bent you over that bathroom sink, no fucks given on who walked in.” My eyes widened. What the fuck. “Matt did you follow me?!” You kind of yell into the phone. Though he was kind of right. Matt was not nearly as uptight as this guy was.

“Why don’t you ditch him and come out to my car. I can show you a better time.” “Seriously Matt? You have no right to pull this shit.” He chuckles on the other end. “Come out to the car y/n. You won’t regret it. This guy looks like he can’t even eat pussy good. I know you miss the way I make you feel.” Your thighs clench together. He wasn’t wrong. But you felt some kind of way about just leaving your date. “I’ll be waiting outside. You know where to go.” I shook my head and hung up on him with no answer.

I walk back to my table and take my seat. “Why were you gone so long?” I look at him. “I had something in my eye. It took a minute to get it out.” “Hmph.” I watch as they bring our food out and sit it in front of us. “Excuse me, this isn’t what I ordered.” He says to the waitress. I look at his plate, it’s exactly what he ordered. “Sorry sir, what is it I can get you?” She asks politely. “Better service. You can’t even comprehend a simple request. You just lost 5% of your tip.”

My eyes widened at him. “Are you serious?” I ask completely appalled by his actions. “What?” He looks at me with disgust. I sigh. I take my napkin and place it on the table. “Excuse me, I need some fresh air.” I start to get up. “Did I say you could leave?” He leans back and crosses his arms. I chuckle and roll my eyes. “You, have no right, to tell me anything.” I storm out of the restaurant.

Walking outside in a very angry manner I start walking down the sidewalk, my heels clicking on the ground. I’m looking around trying to find Matts car. Luckily, he pulled right up next to me coming to a stop. Rolling down the window he calls out, “Get in princess.” With a shit eating grin, knowing he was right. I give him a “watch it” look and reach out to open the door. I slam the door next to me and cross my arms. He glances over to me, looking me up and down. “Seems like that went well.” He chuckles. “Matt, don’t”

We’re driving down the road. “Where are we going?” You ask. He shrugs his shoulders. “Wherever you want to go.” Placing a hand on my thigh and squeezing it. I can’t lie that this response made my legs squeeze together. He smirked knowing what just happened. He started to squeeze my thigh again, rubbing his hand up and down. “Where do you want to go sweetheart?” He looks over at me, seeing the state he’s put my in. My arms still crossed but visibly becoming turned on. He moves his hand up higher, bringing my tight black dress with it. My breath hitches.

He was right. I don’t think anyone would be able to make me feel how he could. “hmm?” He’s trying to get me to answer and I’m just trying keep myself from getting too wet at his touch. He was taunting and teasing me at this point, knowing the affect he has on me. I sighed out as his hand skimmed the outline of my pussy. “Anywhere.” I breathed. “You got it.”

He pulled us into a dimly lit parking lot and put the car in park. Not removing his hand, he uses the other one to grab the back of my neck and pull me to his mouth. I kissed him back immediately. Wrapping my hands in his hair. He moved his mouth to my neck. “Get in the back.” He breathed into my ear. I quickly obliged and we got out of the car and got into the back. He grabbed me as soon as we shut the doors, pulling me under him and grabbing my leg pulling it up to his hip. His other hand went back to my pussy, rubbing circles on my clit. I moaned into his mouth. He pushed the dress up over my hips and pulled off my thong.

As soon as he had it off he moved down and put my knees over his shoulders, diving into my warmth. He was rough, sensual, and most importantly really good at what he was doing. “Fuck” I breathed out as he sucked on my clit. He chuckles into me sending vibrations through my body. “Oh my god Matt.” I grabbed onto his locks. He removed his mouth and looked up at me, pushing a finger in and pumping it in and out. “Who’s pussy is this?” He asks in a husky tone. My head is back against the doors armrest, unable to move. “Sweetheart?” He starts pumping faster. “Ugh” I groan out. “Who’s?” He asks again, putting another finger in. “Yours” I moaned out. “Sorry I didn’t hear you.” He adds a third finger. “Oh my god. Yours Matt!” I loudly moan out his name.

He chuckles and dives back in licking circles on my clit. Pumping his fingers in and out. It was too much. I start squirming under him. “Matt I can’t I, fuck” He uses his other hand to hold my hips down, keeping me still. “Come on baby. Let go.” As soon as those words left his mouth I came.

He removes his hands and mouth and moves up to hover over me. “I told you he was a stiff. Did you really think anyone could do this better than I can?” I just looked up at him, too out of breath to speak. He smiled down at me. His pants were already unbuttoned as I used my feet to kick them and his boxers down. He chuckles looking down at my feet. “Did you want something?” He asks, rubbing my hair from my face. I groan. “Matt.” “What do you want?”

“Matt you know what I want.” I pull him closer to me by his shirt and kiss him. Between kisses he asks again, “What do you want? Tell me.” I throw my head back against the arm rest again, “Fuck” He’s rubbing his naked cock against me now. “Fuck me Matt.”

He takes that as the go to and rams himself into me. Over and over again, hard. It doesn’t stop. He just keeps going, his stamina is amazing and always has been. I can’t stop myself from moaning his name. And he takes so much joy in that.

“Say it again,” He says between thrusts, “Who’s pussy is this?” His thrusts becoming deeper and deeper. I groan uncontrollably, “Yours Matt, yours.” He groans looking down at me. “you ever gunna let someone else have it?” I’m so close at this point I can’t contain myself, “No never again” I moaned, “Maaatttt” I moaned so loud as I come on to his dick.

With that he moaned out my name and lost everything.

We fell down beside each other in the back of the car.

I look over at him, locking lips in a passionate kiss. Breaking away, I look into his eyes. Those ocean blues. “Thank you for following me” I whispered into his mouth. “My pleasure angel.” He breathes into mine. We meet into another kiss before heading back to his house.

[monstersinthecosmos]

buncha discourse a year or so back about how Marius and Daniel are both complete people without Armand (agreed) and that acknowledging the way Armand sort of haunts their relationship means we're taking agency away from Daniel as a whole person (vehemently disagree) and basically I just think, it's very short sighted to look at a relationship like Marius & Daniel's and NOT acknowledge the empty space of Armand between them.

Of course!!!!! We must acknowledge that fanworks and fandom are about transformative work and someone can easily devote time & energy to writing fics where Armand is never acknowledged once if that's what they want, but it's not what I want! It's not how I prefer to approach them!

I think there's something very salient about Armand's absence between them! I want us to spend time with it! I want to ask, when Daniel is at his worst, how much of this is Armand's fault? And I want to ask, when Marius nurses him through it, how much guilt does he feel? How might he look at Armand's behavior as a maker and wonder if he fucked up, if he did wrong by Armand by not being a better maker himself, if this could've been avoided?

It's such incredible source of trauma to look at--for Marius, I think it's a matter of "He behaves this way because I couldn't keep him safe, and I didn't rescue him, and I didn't rescue him because I couldn't reconcile how betrayed and triggered I felt by his cult, and if I had taken care of Santino and taken the cult seriously all along, this could have been avoided."

And for Daniel, we have to remember it's not JUST that he had a bad turning, that he's sensory-overloaded and bad at vampiring, but this is the nastiest breakup of his life! Especially considering that like, it's so much beyond being a marriage of sorts--TILL DEATH DO US PART except they'll never die. It must have hurt him so badly. And like, he was 20 when his life effectively ended, so it's entirely possible that this is his ONLY real bad breakup, and this was his only like actual adult relationship.

But even for him, I love thinking about how badly Armand hurt him, but as he gets to know Marius and understand the situation better, and understand Why Armand is Like That, there's such a potent space for forgiveness and empathy.

I like thinking about Daniel coming out of it slowly and allowing Marius to see his real personality, and all the space where they get to know each other and care for each other. It's not unlike the Devil's Minion--growing something where there was something else. With Armand it was fear and revulsion that become familiar and passionate. With Marius it starts with caretaking and confusion, and as he gets ahold of himself and things come into focus they can get to know each other as people.

idk I just really love this triangle in VC and the dynamics are really fascinating to me, and I'm happy that I've been poking at it and dissecting it for Vamptember, and I hope my haters of the past who told me I was stupid for approaching this way know that they can simply keep scrolling and write their own fics if they don't like it! :)

[yougavemeyourheartyouknow]

On thin ice (Hockey player! Miguel O’Hara x Figure skater! Fem! Reader)

A/N: Yall know that tiktok sound that goes “My life is the crown, and yours is politics, and I will not trade one prison for another. I’m sorry I looked at Mrs Riley and lightly grazed her left tit.” That’s literally me writing thoughts/ descriptive paragraphs vs writing dialogue. Anyways lol. Not Proofread so excuse typos and gramatical errors, excuse If Miguel is ooc.

(Y/N)- Your name

Cursing, using of cannabis, mentions of throwing up (like nothing serious, but thought I’d mention it.) Miguel being a jerk, (Y/N) being a jealous jealous jealous girrrrl (read that I’m your head like in the unreleased Lana del ray song.)

Word count: 1.3k

Serious Masterlist

Chapter 10: Do I wanna know, if this feelin’ flows both ways?

—

“What a fucking asshole!” You hissed under your breath.

“Maybe you shouldn’t have ignored him for 3 weeks.” Kate snickered as she playfully hit your shoulder, you just shot her a small glare, causing her smile to widen.

“Not funny.” You huffed, tone still quiet, crossing your arms on the dining hall table, and resting your head in your arms.

“Aww, poor (Y/N)..” Logan jokingly cooed, as he began to rub your shoulder from where he sat next to you.

From the other side of the uni’s dining hall, sat Miguel with some of his teammates from the hockey team, which wasn’t what upset you. What did upset you was what he had sitting in his lap, or rather, who. On Miguel’s lap, sat some cute blonde from your English class, she was a pretty little thing for sure, you couldn’t deny that, and even though you knew you had no right to feel the tightness building in your chest, had no right to feel your whole body get hot all over like you could combust into flames at any moment, didn’t mean you didn’t still feel it.

You wanted to find yourself disliking her for something that wasn’t her fault, maybe in an attempt to make yourself feel better about the situation, give yourself a reason to shift the blame onto something, or rather someone else. But despite your best efforts, you know you couldn’t bring yourself to dislike her, you didn’t even know her name, and the thought of hating another girl because of a man? You couldn’t. And much less the man being Miguel??? No way.

You let out a sigh and slowly lifted your head up and took a bite of your food in front of you, trying to zone in onto the conversation that Kate and Logan were having, but you could only do so for a few seconds at a at most. Finding your eyes drifting to Miguel’s table from time to time, a glimpse of him wrapping his arms around her waist here, a peak of him lightly kissing her neck there, it made you feel sick to your stomach. Wanting to make you puke the half of your sandwich you’ve eaten. Your lucky you were too far to hear the girl’s giggling or Miguel whispers in her ear, you felt like if you could have hear them as well as see, you’d have to leave the building in order to keep yourself from getting too-

“Jealous?” Logan’s word’s snapped you out of your thoughts, you let out a hum as you turned to face him, seeing the knowing smirk on his face. “He’s probably trying to just make you jealous.” He shrugged, but Kate’s face scrunched up in disagreement.

“Or maybe he got tired of you ignoring him and he moved on.” Kate said, popping a fry in her mouth. Logan gave her a questionable look, one that almost looked like he was asking her “you seriously think that?”.

“Can we not talk about this anymore? I’m already too busy this month to think about some hockey player.” You spat out last words that came of your mouth like they were poisonous, and although Logan agreed with your hatred for hockey players, he couldn’t help but roll his eyes a bit at your dramatics.

—

“I’ll see you later honey~”

Miguel had to stop himself from cringing, as he opened the girls car door for him, “you too.” He mumbled back with a half-ass smile, as she got in, before he closed her car door and she drove off. “Finally…” he sighed as he rubbed his forehead.

Maybe Miguel shouldn’t have picked a girl that was so clingy to try and make (Y/N) Jealous, but it’s too late now since you’ve already seen him with her around campus, so there was no going back. Okay, that’s a lie, he could totally dump her, but he was too stubborn. He’s thought about it, but then he’d think about how it would make that pretty little face of yours scrunch together in annoyance whenever he’d kiss the blonde on her neck, or how you’d not-so-obviously be glaring at him from across a room whenever he’d rest his hands on the girl’s hips. What was the girl’s name again? He’s been seeing her for a week and he still can’t remember, he should have written it down on a sticky note or something.

I mean he really didn’t care about her, all he cared about was you. He knew he was being a major A-hole, but in all fairness, when wasn’t he?

Once Miguel reaches his dorm, he opens the door to find Peter laying on the floor, a blunt between his lips, and the room covered in smoke, the pungent smell of Cannabis filling the small cramped room despite the window being open and the two lit candles on the nightstand. Miguel quickly steps into the room and closes the door behind him, before fixing the towel Peter had pushed up against the crack between the floor and the edge of the door, to prevent too much of the smell from leaking out.

“How long are you gonna keep this up?” Peter asked as he took a long drag from the blunt, his bloodshot eyes slowly wandered over to meet Miguel’s. Miguel didn’t need to ask Peter about what he was referring to. Miguel opted to stay silent instead, kicking his shoes off and placing them next to the door, before walking over to sit on the floor, leaning against his bed as Peter sat up and took the joint from between his lips into his hand and offered it Miguel would gladly accept it.

Taking a deep inhale, he felt the smoke fill his lungs as they felt like they were being lit a flame, being a hand up to his chest to help soothe the temporary burning sensation as he coughs a bit, puffs of smoke leaving his chapped lips, before he instinctively licked them. After a few more moments of silence that felt longer than it should have, Peter spoke up again.

“You both are acting like a bunch of middle schoolers.” He stated as he took the blunt back from Miguel.

“You don’t know what your talking about, your fucking high Parker. Literally.” Miguel shook his head as he sat back more against his bed, feeling the effects of the joint already start to take effect on his body.

“I don’t need to be sober to see that both of you are into each other, but both of you are too stubborn to say anything.” Peter deadpans.

“Can’t we have this conversation when we aren’t getting stone?”

“If we didn’t you would get too angry.”

Miguel let out a huff, knowing Peter wasn’t wrong. He took the blunt from Peter’s hand and took another hit. If he was gonna have have this conversation right now, he needed to be really fucking high.

“Miguel, as your best friend, and your dorm mate,” Peter places a hand on Miguel’s shoulder, “I want to tell you this in the most honest but respectful way, okay?” Peter raised a brow as he waited for some sort of response from Miguel, which he got in the form of a head nob. “You’re being a fucking idiot. Stop acting like a high school fuck boy that plays mind games and just talk to her. I get you don’t believe in ‘talking about feelings’ or whatever. But you can’t just mess with her and expect shit to sort itself out.” Miguel looked at Peter with a confused look, wondering we’re all of this sudden wisdom came from, maybe it was the wee- “wanna order McDonald’s?” Peter asked with a shit-eating grin, causing Miguel to let out a heavy sigh. That’s the Peter he knows.

—

Taglist: @tayleighuh @cowboylikeevie @coralineyouareinterribledanger @jukioku @loser-alert @migueloharaspookiebear @serpentstarr @littlexscarletxwitch @darksidescorner @sukioyakio

[cherishedproperty]

Save Room for a Little Light

I read something this morning about Cher’s autobiography (weird inspiration for a post, but stick with me). It said that she contemplated suicide because she was stuck in a loveless marriage. Now, I’ve never read the autobiography and don’t have any more details about the situation than that. But even with those few sentences, I was thrown back to the last year of my marriage.

I was married to a good man—a man who loved me a ridiculous amount and really strived to be a good husband to me. And I was miserable. For a long time, I told myself it was my fault. I was broken. I was depressed. I had to be fucked up if I felt lonely and unhappy with him…right?

I reached a point where I thought seriously about ending my life. I wished for a terminal illness or to just get hit by a bus and die instantly. I didn’t want my family to think I chose to leave them, but I genuinely thought they’d be better off without me. My husband would always remember me as his loving wife. He would find someone else to love who would also love our daughter. And I’d just be a distant memory for her, while someone else would become her real mother. And she’d be better at it than I could be. It brings tears to my eyes, thinking about it now. But at the time, my death felt less damaging to them than divorce.

Obviously, I didn’t choose that path. I chose to end our marriage, and it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. It took me a long time to understand that my happiness was important, too (sometimes I still have trouble believing that). And with my happiness, I saw new happiness growing in my daughter. A weight was lifted off my heart, and it allowed me to be the mother she really deserved. We had dance parties and movie nights and long conversations about her stuffed animals’ birthdays. There was light—for the first time in a long time. And it kept growing.

I wish I could tell you that the darkness never came back. But it did. I’ve sat with it many times. But I have never been able to get myself to believe that my daughter’s life would be better without me in it. I know that the joy in her heart would be forever dimmed. That alone has pulled me back from the darkness more than a few times.

And now I have so much more. I have Monsieur. I have our dog and the home we have made together. I have someone who understands the darkness and makes sure there is always enough light to pull me back.

The last two years have been the longest depressive episode of my life. Not the worst, but the longest. But I’ve been doing a lot of work toward healing in the last six months. I’ve been working through some of the patterns that pull me toward darkness, and I’ve been cultivating new sources of light.

In the hard times, what I keep telling myself is this: Your happiness matters. Your happiness has inherent value, just as much as anyone else’s. Your happiness does not mean other people’s unhappiness—though it may mean they have to find a new path to happiness. Or you do. And that’s okay. There is always a new path.

I’ve been down the darkest road Set fire to all my homes One thing I learned in life Save room for a little light I know you’ve been so close To the edge of letting go Before you say goodbye Save room for a little light —Jelly Roll, “Little Light”

[homestuckreplay]

Knighthoods of the Mail

(pages 919-925)

I really like both these panels, the extreme downward angle on Jade who has the disadvantage of being small and the advantage of being alive and angry, and the close up on Grandpa, both of them lit by the strange pink-orange firelight. Fire and burning is a threat we’ve seen for all four kids now, so it creates that parallel, and also a surreal atmosphere from the composition of both images.

Jade is also speaking in the narration on this page – it’s italicized and first person instead of second, written in her register. None of the other kids have done this yet, the narrator is always between them and us. I like the implication that Jade is overriding the narrator but also the idea that the narrator is like ‘you know what, I’m taking this page off, I’m just gonna let her shout’. It’s fun, and I’m interested to see if it’ll happen more.

I am still pretty fucked up over this reveal but personally I would have done it a little differently – the gut punch of ‘He was so much easier to deal with when he was alive’ (p.920) could have been SO much more effective if it hadn’t already been obvious from their Strife that this is not a living man. Even keeping the original sequence but publishing the pages at the same time would have worked, but sitting for a day between the Strife sequence and that line meant it didn’t hit as hard for me.

I do still have a lot of questions. Jade knows Grandpa is dead but seems to still genuinely believe they’re communicating, and who’s to say they’re not? Who’s to say Jade’s powers don’t tell her exactly what Grandpa is saying or would say in this circumstance? If so, it must be a lot harder psychologically to escape his expectations. But even if Jade’s powers don’t come into it, there’s practical concerns – how long ago did Grandpa die, and does anyone besides Jade even know? It’s easy to say Jade should redecorate the house but living so remotely where mail has to be airdropped in balloons, she’s probably not physically capable of that, and can’t get other people to do it for her. Typheus is a little big to captchalogue and where else would Jade even put him?

So I guess I kind of get it? In the sense of Jade keeping the only life and routine she’s ever known, going through the same motions with a stuffed grandpa that she once did with a real one, because the barriers to doing anything different are so high? It’s really easy to adapt to a strange situation when you don’t have a point of comparison to know it’s strange, and when it happens so regularly that it becomes like autopilot.

We cut back to PM, my absolute beloved, one of my most favorite characters. They haven’t been seriously hurt by Jade’s explosive powers but their head wrappings are on fire (btw is the pointy tail of their head covering the shape of the fabric or the shape of their head??) and some of the mailboxes are tragic casualties of the event, which I may never forgive Jade for.

And then one of the metal worms rescues a mailbox! The all important mailbox with the letter to Dr David Brinner in it! Redemption arc for the metal worms who have definitely learned from their predecessors’ mistakes. This is a beautiful, angelic worm deserving of high honors, and PM knows it, giving them an equally metallic heart. If the postal service had an equivalent for a knighthood for a postal worker who goes above and beyond to preserve the integrity of the mail then PM would award that to this worm. I am thinking about PM as a dispenser of justice – someone with a really strong, inflexible moral code who is willing to impartially punish those who break it and reward those who keep it.

> PM: Bequeath the mailman’s cap to this hero.

[milla-frenchy]

Roads part 3

4k2 | Joel Miller x fem reader Chapt summary: Joel doesn't know how to deal with his feelings, and loses control Warnings: 18+ mdni. possessiveness, jealousy, alternate POV, dirty talk, praise kink, masturbation, fingering, oral (f/m receiving), cum eating, unprotected piv, ass play, rimming, anal, creampie, light violence (not against reader or Joel) a/n: Thank you for beta-ing @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog 💞💞🫂 Playlist | ao3 | Series masterlist | Masterlist

Part 2

Joel hadn't had a serious relationship in years.

He didn't miss it, didn't want to risk integrating someone into his life. Sarah might eventually become attached to her, but what if it didn’t work out? It would  be another loss. The departure of Sarah's mother had been harsh, and their daughter had suffered too much from her mother's absence. He didn't want to hurt her again. 

So he went on with his life, without any additional ties, offering all the possible stability to Sarah.

Until the day he met you.

He had heard Tommy talk about you so much, for so many years, that he had been imagining… someone  else. A vague vision of you as a child and then as a teenager had formed in his mind, with all the stories he had heard all those years. Whether by an elated Tommy or by his parents bitching about the “nonsense they had done again” when he, slightly older, was already far too mature for his age.

One afternoon, your parents had stopped him when he came home from high school, their neighbors being furious at the cigarette butts both of you threw from your bedroom window to the neighbors' garden.

"No, I don't know where my brother or your daughter are, sorry," he replied, with a quiet sigh.

Now, years later, his work situation was worrying, and even if he had his old prejudices, you worked in a large group, held an important position there, so why not see where it would go?

*************

That evening at Alexandro's, he came leaving aside his prejudices, and after one meal, that image was forgotten. He had in front of him a rigorous, practical, and independent person. Serious. With an amazing quirky sense of humor.

************

The night of the gala, during your speech, he looked at you attentively. Your suit, your tie, your attitude. He felt his cock twitch in his jeans.

That night in his bed, after you brought him home, he thought back to what Tommy had told him, "Everyone falls in love with her." Joel thought about the fact that you had the balls not to stay after your speech, because you did not like the proximity of people. Thought about the phone call you had received.

He took his cock in his fist, and jerked off thinking of you, until he came, growling, sending his squirts on his lower stomach.

************

Several weeks had passed since then, and you had already seen each other far more times than any of the other women he had dated. He loved to fuck you. He loved that you had no limits. He loved how you two  complemented each other physically. But also more and more, he loved talking to you. Loved to know more about you, your way of thinking. He liked your seriousness, your humor. Those times were totally different from when you were fucking. You were calm, poised. And he sought that closeness more and more. Worse, he didn't want to lose it, he who hadn’t had long term relationships. This turnaround puzzled him, he didn't know how to handle it. He just knew he didn't want it to end.

*************

He had been hard all night at the restaurant since the moment you said you had talked to your ex on the phone. So he drove to your home fast so he could arrive before you, watch you walk up your driveway. He wanted to sink his cock into you, telling himself that during that moment, he would be the only one you would think about.

He had fucked you against your front door, so eager to feel you. He had been watching you, lying on your dining room table, your fingers sliding against your clit, as his cock was thrusting deep into you. He watched you cum and got lost in his emotions.

“Everyone falls in love with her.”

This sentence from Tommy haunted him. What if someone fell in love with you? And that he could no longer share those moments with you?

He who never attached himself, was afraid of losing the feelings that he had rejected altogether until then. And he handled them as best as he could. Painfully, and badly.

You tried to forget the discussion with Tommy. You missed Joel when you didn't see him. But you saw each other often, more and more.

Tonight you were at his house. You told him to sit on the couch, naked. You were standing in front of him in the dark, also undressed. The room was moonlit. He looked at your curves, his cock erect against his stomach.

You planted your feet on the couch, on each side of his thighs and settled down, your knees resting on top of the headboard, your crotch level with his mouth.

His gaze was up at you, eyes devouring you. You caressed his cheek, your other hand pressed against the wall. Joel put his hands on your bottom. You brought your pussy close to his mouth, and he started licking you, his eyes still fixed on your moonlit face. His tongue slid against your slit. You pressed against his mouth and felt your lower abdomen quiver at the touch of his tongue, pressed against your clit, twirling it under the tip of his tongue.

Your moans filled the room and you thought no one had ever given you pleasure like him. His tongue was fucking into you, as deeply as possible.

He reached out his hand towards you and said "spit", his tongue leaving you for a second.

He then took his cock in his fist, and started jerking off. Slowly at first, then harder, as he was fucking you with his tongue.

He growled against your folds. You imagined his hand on his cock, his strong grip, his confident and increasingly rapid movements. It amplified the pleasure you felt.

“Joel, please… my clit. Suck it. Make me come in your mouth. And come with me”

He slid his tongue from your soaking wet hole despite all the attention he was putting in licking everything that flowed from you, towards your clit and sucked it gently. 

He alternated licking and sucking. You felt your pleasure rising.

“Fuck Joel… Yeah, keep going. Go on…oh Joel…”

He began jerking off faster.

You came in his mouth, while he moaned and squirted his cum all over his hand and stomach.

You got off the sofa, your legs shaking, and settled down between his knees. You lapped up the cum that was smeared on him, and cleaned him.

“Fuck… baby...” he didn't finish his sentence.

You came to sit on the sofa next to him, your legs folded under you. He took you in his arms, and you remained entwined, naked, silent. He stroked your hair.

After a while, he stood up and took your hand, “Come with me sweetheart.”

He took you to his bedroom and asked you to lie on his bed, on your stomach.

He straddled you, and spread your buttocks with his hands, staring at your wet pussy and ass.

“ 'm gonna fuck you now… are you gonna be wise, my sweet slut? You gonna let me do it?"

"Yes Joel."

"Good girl."

He entered you with a slow thrust, couldn't resist feeling your pussy before preparing you for what he had in mind. He slid his cock, watching it enter you, shining with your wetness. He went back and forth several times before withdrawing from you, growling at not feeling you anymore.

You were waiting, getting more and more turned on.

He quickly glided his thumb against your pussy and spread your wetness. Going up more and more towards your ass, until his thumb reached your ring.

You moaned under his touch.

He lay down, his head between your thighs which he spread wide, and passed his tongue from your pussy to your ass. He lapped up and down, lingering more and more on your ass. He slipped a finger into your pussy and lingered over your tightest hole with his tongue, until he penetrated you with its tip.

He licked for a long time, to prepare you as best as possible.

He lay on top of you and entered your pussy with a slow thrust, his fists on either side of your head. Your body enclosed in his. He was fucking you slowly, deeply.

He grabbed something from his nightstand drawer, while he was deep inside you.

You heard the sound of the opening bottle. Then he put some lube on his fingers, before coming to massage your ring with it, his cock still deep inside your pussy.

You moaned, eager to feel him in the last hole he hadn't fucked yet.

“On all fours baby” he told you, before applying lube to his cock.

You settled on your elbows and knees, waiting.

"You're so beautiful baby. I'm gonna fuck you so deep. Want me to fuck your ass?

"Yes Joel, please."

"Good girl..."

He entered your pussy deeply, one last time, then he positioned himself against your ass. You turned your head and your eyes locked with his. The tip of his cock pressed against your tight ring, he began to thrust.

You looked at the headboard, and said “fuck, Joel…”

You felt all of your muscles contract against his cock, trying to push him away.

“Relax baby,” he murmured.

The tip finally inserted and you couldn't hold back a scream.

“I know baby, i know. Shhh it's gonna be ok. I know you can take it sweetheart. I want you to take it. Will you?"

"Fuck… yes Joel, I can do it"

"That's good baby. You're doing well."

He kept pushing into you.

“I wanted to fuck your ass so bad. You have no idea how many times I've checked it out. Thinking how good it would be for my cock. But I had no idea it would be that good.”

And he pushed until his balls hit your pussy, and he stayed down. You could hear him breathing heavily, when you felt fuller than ever.

“Fuck… Joel… Move. Fucking… move”

He spread your ass with his hands, watched his cock thrust all the way into your ass, your dilated ring throbbing around him. He took a deep breath to calm his excitement.

He began his movements back and forth, bigger and bigger after each push, until he came out almost completely with each hip movement, to immediately fill you totally again. You gasped, biting your lip with each thrust.

"Joel… too much."

"Oh no, it’s not too much sweetheart."

You got used to his girth, and he started shoving you harder and harder.

He whispered in your ear “I knew you were a slut. My slut."

You bent your elbows, sagging your chest against the mattress and kept your ass up, which he was clinging to with his hands, to the point where you thought you'd be bruised the next day.

Your head was resting against the pillow, your body was a rag doll waiting for every stroke of his cock.

He slid his hand against your pussy and stuck two fingers inside you, which made you moan. "I miss your pussy, but tonight, I'm taking care of another hole" He then pulled out his fingers and started circling his index finger against your clit.

“Fuck… it feels so good, my cock deep in your ass sweetheart.”

You felt your pleasure rising, filled with his length and the sensations that his fingers were giving you.

“You take me so well baby girl, so well.”

“Joel…” you said, unable to speak further. 

“Come on baby. Come on. I want to feel my cock even tighter in your ass, while you’re squeezing me.”

And you came, hard. Your pussy clenching around nothing, but contracting his cock buried in your ass.

“ ‘m gonna fill you up now. I'm gonna shoot my load deep in your ass."

He groaned, fucking you even harder, your feelings heightened, way too strong for your mind. Then he froze and you felt the jets of hot cum he sent deep inside you.

He pushed you forward until your knees gave out and you were lying with his body on top of yours, crushed under its weight.

He clasped your fingers in his and buried his head in the crook of your neck.

The only thought you had was the fear that gripped your guts, of not feeling him anymore. In you, against you. You were intoxicated by him, as you had never been by anyone. And while his cock was still in your ass, the spasms that continued in spite of you only squeezed him tighter, still making him groan.

*************

You two were at the pub, Joel picked you up after work. Joel had grown accustomed to these outings, but at the same time they contributed to his rising possessiveness. He saw men looking at you way too often.

More and more, he thought his reactions would be better handled if you discussed it. If, maybe, you talked about what your relationship was.

If it was official, he could hug you, kiss you, and show that you were his. He always ended up brushing the idea off from his mind.

You went to the bar to order a drink for the both of you. A guy approached you and offered to join him at his table, which you politely declined. He put his hand on your arm and asked if you were sure. “I already told you no” you told him, annoyed by his insistence.

"Get your fucking hand off her," Joel snarled behind you. You turned around, his imposing broadness making the other man, yet of equal height to Joel, appear ridiculously frail. You had never heard him talk with such a cold voice.

"That's ok Joel, he's leaving" but he didn’t hear you.

"Oh man come on… Just one drink and I'll give her back to you. Unless she wants to spend more time with me after that.  You know…" You rolled your eyes, exasperated that he was talking about you like you weren't there, shocked by what he had the audacity to say, and started to say "listen, man…"

And… Joel went mad. He hit him with a punch that knocked the man to the ground, grabbed him by the collar and punched him again. He shook his hand and grabbed your arm to pull you back.

At first you didn't understand what was going on. His movement to pull you away was too sudden, and you were in shock at what just happened.

You pushed him away and told him "fuck off Joel."

You left the bar and called for a passing cab.

Joel was furious. Furious at that man, furious at himself for letting himself go and unleashing his violent side. He came out of the pub, ran to his car and arrived at your house almost at the same time as your cab.

You told him to leave you alone, and spat back at him, “I don't need a fucking walking red flag in my life.” But he followed you until you opened the door.

"What the fuck Joel? What the fuck?! Are you mad behaving like that? You can't beat his ass like that just 'cause he's being a dick. You can't act like a fuckin' savage. Fuck Joel… You can't pull my arm like that. I'm not… i'm not yours. I'm not your damn property. You understand? I'm no one's property. So go fuck yourself and get the fuck outta here."

He looked at you with wide eyes and all his anger came back.

"He touched you," he growled.

"Do you have any idea how many times men act like jerks? He was probably drunk anyway. And I could handle  it myself. I don't need a fucking Neanderthal man to protect me in a crowded bar"

Tears were starting to appear at the corners of your eyes. it was too much for you. His reaction at the pub, that scene between you, you were cracking up realizing that everything had gone wrong in such a short time. You didn't understand his insecurity and it pissed you off and made you sad.

All of his anger went down at once. He sat down on a chair and put his head in his hands. " 'm sorry. I'm sorry... I... I don't know what happened to me. I... don't know what I was thinking. I'm fucking ashamed of myself. I don't know… I've been so scared and got angry. It was an instinct... Fuck. 'm sorry."

“Scared? What were you scared of?” He shook his head and didn't answer.

You sighed “Joel… you scared me there. Really”

“I'm sorry I... It wasn't directed at you. Not for a moment. I couldn't stand seeing him insisting and laying his hand on you.”

You were lost and didn't know how to react. You weren't used to that kind of rash reaction. Joel had lost control and you weren't expecting it. Seeing him so miserable broke your heart.

"Joel…"

You approached him gently, he took your waist in his arms, put his head against your belly and hugged you like a child.

You put your hands against his head. You didn't know if you were still mad, if you wanted to reassure him, or if you wanted… Something else. You felt the warmth within you awaken.  Felt that shadow jump deep inside you. That darkness.

He looked up at you, you stared at each other for a few seconds. And his eyes went dark. He got up and kissed you gently, stepped back, waiting for your reaction. Seeing that you didn't reject him, he kissed you again, more violently, your face between his hands, teeth against teeth, tongue against tongue. He bit your lip gently then licked it.

"So you're not mine, huh?"

His words made your pussy clentch.

You backed away, gauging his attitude. Assessing if you could go further. If he had regained control. You said "my safe word is "arrow". Understand me?" He nodded. He understood what you wanted. You hesitated a few moments, time to make sure that you were ready to play that game, and if Joel was capable of it too.

"No Joel, i'm not yours." 

You stared at each other again. You lowered your gaze to his lips, and bit yours. He grinned.

Your words confirmed, more than any way you had fucked so far, that there was definitely something dark in you. And that it was not him who managed things between the two of you. It was you, all along. Bringing him where you wanted to go. And he loved that, knowing that you were sure of yourself and your desires, and that you chose him to express that darkness. He felt like the two of you were a perfect match, more than ever. He allowed himself to think so. His insecurity was at rock bottom right now, and he was ready to give you anything you wanted.

"Yeah... well we're gonna see ‘bout that," he said.

He undid his belt slowly, and took it off and threw it on  the floor. Then he unzipped his jeans, without lowering them. He squeezed his crotch in the palm of his hand and walked over to you, ripping your blouse open and popping all the buttons. He kissed you, sliding his tongue in your mouth and mingling it with yours. The zipper of his jeans pressed against your lower abdomen, you felt his cock against your pussy.

He undid your bra and took off your pants and panties. Then he pulled his cock out of his jeans and boxers. You looked at his erect member and bit your lip again. He caressed himself slowly while looking at you.

"On your knees."

You didn't move.

"Not gonna repeat myself."

You knelt down and looked at him. He was still holding his cock in his hand, still jerking off slowly.

"Suck", he commanded.

You dripped your saliva on his cock. You took it in your hand and jerked it off, from the tip to his hand, and you surrounded it with your lips, still looking at him.

“Gonna fuck your mouth” He took your head in his hands, and started to fuck your mouth slowly. He clenched your hair in his fists, digging deeper with each movement. You were still staring at him, until you choked on his cock. You pulled back to catch your breath, then he grabbed the back of your head with one hand, his cock in the other, and slid it down until it touched the back of your throat. "Don't move", he said. You waited, full of his cock, and he released you.

“Get up. I'm not gonna cum in your mouth. Would be too easy”. He waved you up the stairs and followed you, like the first night you fucked, weeks ago. Once in your bedroom, facing you, he pushed you slowly back against the bed, until the backs of your knees bumped against it. You lay down with your legs apart and bent. He took off his pants and boxers and knelt down.

“You’re fucking soaked. Bet you were.” He licked you for a long time, and inserted his fingers inside you. You moaned. “Come in my mouth. Give it to me” Your orgasm floored you, your fists clenching his brown curls.

He licked his fingers, looking at you “Mine". You shook your head, challenging him. Intoxicated by his attitude.

He grabbed you and pulled you up on the bed. “Spread your thighs.” You didn’t move. 

“Fuck… you’re really testing me.” He pushed your legs apart, forcibly, lay down between them and brutally penetrated you. You suffocated.

“Take my fucking cock” He said, as he settled a brutal path. You couldn't speak, only moan, your legs around his waist to feel him deeper.

“Mine?” he scolded.

“F… shit. Fuck… no"

“For Christ sake…” He grabbed you and rolled you back against the bed, face down. His hands spreading your ass, he licked the ring already wet from your wetness which had flowed over it since he had eaten your pussy, and pressed his thumb against your ring. He tickled it with his finger, forcing it little by little until he inserted it in your tight hole. He pulled out, spread your cheeks, spat on your hole and took his cock in his hand

Suddenly you got scared. Of his power, of the upcoming pain. That it would be too much. "No Joel!" You turned your head to look at him.

He stopped immediately. “No?”

You shook your head. He stared at you, stopping time for a few moments.

“Ok baby” He thrust into your pussy and fucked you, slowly but powerfully, laying down with all his weight on top of you. You heard him growl in your ear. Your closeness, his body leaning against yours, made you lose your mind.

“Turn around sweetheart”

And that time, you did as he said. You stared at each other again, but his eyes were soft.

He took your cheeks in his hands and kissed you softly. He took his cock in his hand and slid it inside you, gently, all the way. He moaned longly.

“You’re so tight... So tight for me baby”. He was fucking you slowly, but so deeply. Kissing your lips, your cheek, your neck, your collarbone. His nose brushed everything he could reach. His movements were gentle, but with each thrust he sank deeper, his face nestled in the crook of your neck.

“I'm yours, Joel" you murmured. You heard him rumble against your ear and hugged him tight, feeling the emotion wash over you but not wanting to confess them openly.

“ ‘m gonna cum baby. Come for me please.”

You tilted your pelvis so you could feel the pressure of his lower abdomen against your clit. Savoring the surge of pleasure you felt. He came, sending his spurts of cum deep inside your pussy. His spasms triggered your orgasm and you came hard, while your nails dug into his shoulders.

You stayed like that, waiting for your breaths to calm down.

“You stopped… even though I  didn't say my safe word.”

“Didn't need to. I knew you weren't playing anymore."

You felt your heart flatter again.

He finally pulled out, rolled onto his back, and pressed you against him, your head resting on his broad chest.

He sighed. “I don't know how to say what I want to tell you. I don't know how to talk about it sweetheart.”

“Give it a try?” you told him slowly. 

"Damn… look, I don't do relationships. Huh... usually. But…” He paused, then: "if you want, I would like to try with you."

“I’d really like it too, Joel” you brushed his neck with your nose and kissed it. Your heart was pounding. He kissed your forehead. You stayed like that, until he felt your breathing slow and your muscles relax.

“I love you”, he whispered in your hair, while you slept. You growled at him, and hugged him tighter in your sleep.

He looked at you in the moonlight, relieved that things could be expressed so easily, and worried that his heartbeat was struggling to slow down.

Part 4

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[lover-of-mine]

I have realized what is making my head explode when a BT post accidentally goes through my tags!!!! They are completely ignoring Buck is bi. They are acting like my aunt in the early 2000s. I may not have been fond of all the LUs but they were valid relationships. If Taylor had not fucked up who knows where that relationship would have gone. I mean clearly nowhere once Eddie was out because once Eddie broke up with him he spiraled and kissed Lucy. But they are still valid relationships and at this point in time I don't see how Tommy is better than any of them. To be honest he has the worst traits of Abby and Taylor but the screen time of Ally. So frustrating.

Well, when have people ever been normal about bisexuality? But here's the thing, every relationship Buck had so far had his own set of issues that somehow have been reduced to the way he was dating women, which is fucked in so many ways and the amount of times I have to stop myself from picking a fight because of bucktaylor it's actually hysterical to me because we're seriously at a point where I need to defend the validity of Taylor's place in Buck's life. Like, how did we get here? Because here's the thing, do I think Buck and Taylor were meant to be? No. Do I think Buck would've clung to her until he literally couldn't anymore if her actions hadn't hurt his family? Absolutely. I see Buck going as far as panic proposing to her if that particular situation hadn't happened, just to have someone. Because they had chemistry and Buck kept trying to force that to become love. Taylor was wrong for Buck for a multitude of reasons, but none of those reasons were because she's a woman and Buck is gay. And the relationship with Tommy is not gonna magically last forever just because Tommy is a man. Tommy is this weird amalgamation of all of Buck's love interests with Ali/Ana levels of screentime and he doesn't magically have a fighting chance just because he has a dick and people can't seem to see this. And I think that's crazy. Because Tommy was given to us in an episode that had the theme of not recognizing people, while actively making us think it was about someone else and then they did the Kim storyline and I want to scream because people can't see the parallels. And the more I look at it the more insane I get because he's all of Buck's love interests smashed into someone who's Eddie two steps to the left with none of the things we love about him. But somehow he's perfect because he's not a woman. The only thing Tommy has going for him is not being a woman. You turn him into one and none of the things he did would fly. Letting Buck get away with physically hurting Eddie? Leaving him in the curb? Not dressing up? Making a kink joke after someone Buck loves almost died? Picture those scenes with Lucy and tell me anyone in the fandom would be shipping them. Let alone fighting for them the way people are right now. But he's a man so he gets a pass and that's so fucking weird. Evan Buckley is bisexual but getting dicked down isn't going to magically make everything perfect. Jesus.

Also, since you mentioned Eddie coming out, something that I've been thinking about since we found out it was supposed to be Eddie, a Buck who thinks he's straight finding out Eddie has a boyfriend would shortcircuit. I legit think they could not find a way to write Buck's reaction to Eddie being queer that didn't end with him figuring his feelings out so they switched things up, so Buck would for sure would've gotten there once Eddie got there because he would've had big feelings about it and Buck is not the repressed one.

[welcome-to-latveria]

Would you say that the whole turning-Valeria-into-armour thing was horribly ooc & character assassination?

I wouldn't go as far as saying it was character assassination because most writers now just pretend it never happened so it didn't really have any permanent effects on Doom's character but yes I do think it was horribly out of character. Actually not only that I also think it was just an insanely stupid plot line.

So let's unpack all the stupidity.

First of all we have Doom seeking out and killing Valeria and then turning her skin into armour. Why does he do this? Well the reason given was that he had to sacrifice something of value that was irreplaceable because he made a deal with demons for power. Sure okay. However there's also this explanation that Doom gives himself which just confuses the whole thing?

Like what the hell is he talking about choosing science over sorcery? Does Waid think because Doom went to university he choose science over sorcery? He literally spent his time at uni building a machine to contact his mother in hell what are you talking about? Also there's an underlying current here that I don't really like which seems to be that Romani = sorcery, that by leaving Valeria and his people that was choosing science? It's literally not even a true representation of previous canon and it also doesn't sit right with me implications wise.

Moving on to the sacrifice for power deal with some demons.

Now let's start off with the fact that Doom would never make a pact with demons after what happened to his mother w/ Mephisto like seriously do I have to point that out is that not obvious to Waid? Making a deal for power with a demon is straight up the reason his mother died why then would he do the same thing? If this was a life or death situation I could understand but it's literally just something he woke up one day and decided to do?

Also once again the references to him somehow not being a master of sorcery? It's like Waid woke up one day and realised Doom is also a sorcerer it's so bizzare. This is a concept that has been explored multiple times before and it's established that he's a master sorcerer below only like Dr Strange so I'm not sure why this is written like Doom has the ability of a 5 year old or something.

Everyone else in this story also acts like this is the first time in their life they've heard of Doom practicing magic. Ben literally says they always knew his mother was a witch and then acts like Doom must have 'finally' discovered magic. Does Ben think that Doom also didn't know his mother was a witch or what? Does he think he just found this out? So confusing. Reed then chimes in and says 'Victor's behaviour is unthinkable' (haha get it. unthinkable is in bold. do you get it? because the whole arc is called unthinkable. haha do you get it??). Reed then says 'why after all these years is he coming at us with such unscientific means' bro I'm being fr what are you TALKING ABOUT? No wonder this arc is called unthinkable my god Waid literally lost the ability to think whilst writing it.

Also note Reed's 'I don't believe in magic' - Ben tears into that himself in the panel but I really do want to acknowledge how fucking stupid that sentence is. Literally the panel before Ben had spoken to Dr Strange but magic doesn't exist according to Reed. Sure okay Waid.

Towards the end of the arc Reed says this when Stephen tells him that Doom bargained with the demons for power. 'Bargained? Usually Victor simply takes what he wants' wow Reed finally someone is talking sense in this story. He says that and then it's immediately swept under the rug. 'What's in this for them?' uh no we don't give a fuck about the demons let's circle back to your previous point about how Doom would never bother making bargains with demons when he could just take what we wants.

That's really the crux of the problem that to me makes this arc fall completely flat. 'Guy makes bargain with demon where he sacrifices someone he loves for greater power' is just not a Doom storyline I'm sorry (it is, however, very much a Constantine storyline. That comparison alone should tell you how very much out of character it would be for Doom to do it)

Like I said he would never bargain with demons anyway but if he HAD to he would be out to get what he needed without sacrificing anything at all. He wouldn't just blindly do what they say I mean this is a guy who thinks himself above EVERYONE why is he doing the bidding of random demons for power that quite frankly he already canonically had?

The awful stuff with Valeria obviously just adds to my dislike of this arc it just really wasn't needed he could have just killed her painlessly there was no need for All That and then the skin armor as well? The whole thing just leaves a bad taste in my mouth.