#if it wasnt obvious from the post i dont know how to word that question in the first place

[joshtriesathing]

I love commisioning other artists and YCHs and all that but man. I alwags get too nervous to get any of my main OC bcuz i feel like ill come off as some internet creep fishing for fetish content just for asking if its okay to commision him in a ych that onky shows a skinny option DX man i wish i knew how to stop feeling weird about that shit like its litteraly my body type and i know my own intentions

[lust4life01]

I wish I was your girl. chapter 1

First chapter is a little short, just to introduce the story and move it along! Set around the early seasons :) -please check out this post for warnings.

You dont know my mind.

Your head laid on House's bare chest, as his fingers drew soft circles on your shoulder, while you both listened to each other's heavy breathing from the highs you both just came down from.

Breaking the sweet silence, House couldn't help but ask a provocative question ruining the simplicity being held in each other's company.

“Are you sure you’re not a porn star?” He asks with a huge grin plastered across his face.

“Ha, ha, very funny. And anyway you'd be so lucky, old man.”

Your tone sarcastic yet playful as you try to hide the smile creeping onto your lips, while staring up at him with doe eyes.

House dramatically places a fist to his heart and lets out an exaggerated hiss.

“Ah, ouch! God I hope you weren't this mean to all your other bosses, or well pimps.”

“Mhm only the ones I was sleeping with.” You shot back immediately, earning you a proud smirk from him.

As he goes to get up to grab hisvicodin, and break from your touch, you let out a whine in protest, not wanting to feel the loss of contact.

“God, you're so needy, better keep you away from Wilson. Actually speaking of Wilson he's meeting me here in about half an hour, and quite frankly I wouldn't like to sit and explain why a member of my team is on my couch in her underwear.

You can't help but take his last statement to heart, you knew it was stupid as you were sleeping with Greg House, what more were you expecting? However the desire to be more than a fuck buddy had been creeping up on you lately and you simply wanted more. Was you just an employee with a nice set of tits and a nice arse to him?

“Actually, I was thinking maybe it wouldn't be terrible if people knew about us.”

You lowered your head and your voice was quiet and consumed with seriousness. House didn't reply for a few seconds until you lifted your face to meet his eyes.

“What? You can't be serious.”

After a moment he realised you in fact were not joking and let out a frustrated laugh.

“Oh my god. I don't see how you dont think its a terrible idea, (y,n), we agreed that we would just have great mindless sex, no strings attached. Why ruin that?”

He was defensive which just pissed you off even further.

You became more enraged and hurt the more you thought about the words spilling from his harsh mouth.

“That was then, this is now. Maybe I don't want to be your dirty little secret, who is chucked out everytime there's a threat of someone seeing us, forever. I'm not asking for the moon here House, I just don't see why you're so scared of a little commitment.”

“Yeah well maybe I didnt think by fucking you I was signing up to be husband for god sake. Did we sign a prenup?”

House's voice was mean as he spoke and his hand rested on his forehead out of frustration.

You let out a scoff of shock and disgust.

“Fine. I won't be bothering you anymore, you know unless a patient is dying, if that's even worth bothering you for.”

As fast as the words travelled out your mouth, so did your clothes appear on your body and feet step out of his apartment.

Tears filled with rage brimmed and finally spilled from your sad eyes once outside his apartment door. Thankfully spilling outside of House's sight despite them threating to stream from your face as soon as his vindictive words hit you.

— 2 days later —

Hostility wasnt near close enough to explain the feeling and tension between you and House. Snide comments and brooding stares were exchanged but other than the differentials and generally doing your job you didn't speak or acknowledge House.

House was being more of an ass than usual and it was obvious the team were starting to pick up on it as for the past couple of months he had seemed relatively happy. They ultimately knew there was no point trying to figure out Greg House.

Your best friend Foreman on the other hand had no problem trying to figure out why you had been acting strange. He was worried you might be slipping back into past habits.

He came to look for you while you were in the common room, where you were finishing up paperwork but mainly hiding away.

“Hey, how come you're in here instead of the office?”

He asks the question already knowing the answer, he just wanted to know why exactly you were hiding away,

Feeling slightly defensive not wanting to unload all your problems and thoughts on to your best friend, you did the only thing you could think to do. Lie.

“Um, I don't know, it's just quieter I guess. You gonna join me?”

You try to give him a convincing smile, although it definitely didn't work all that well.

He let out a sign of slight annoyance seeing straight through your lies, not understanding why you weren't being straight with him.

“Quit the bullshit (y,n). I can tell somethings up with you. You've hardly been yourself and believe me I know when somethings bothering you.”

You hated shutting Foreman out but you couldn't be arsed to explain that the reason you had been distant was because Greg House only saw you as a cheap fuck. I mean it's pathetic.

“Okay, yeah i've been a little off lately and im sorry, totally nothing of your doing. I just stopped seeing this fling but i don't know I was delusional to want to take it further. It's dumb really.”

He nodded his head to make sure you knew he was listening before finally giving you a sympathetic smile.

“Not to sound like a jerk but yeah that is pretty dumb. But he'd have to be even dumber to not want you.”

He let out a chuckle and you smiled trying to act like you agreed, despite knowing it was far deeper and more complex than you let on.

“Look, come for a drink with the team after work. Have a few drinks, or a few kisses and forget about whatever idiot you were screwing.”

You nodded your head in agreement.

I mean sure you know that getting out will dull the hurt you feel but the alcohol will only spur on your self destructive manic side.

What could possibly go wrong?

[wildcatofgreen]

((hi! local catmun here. by now it has ALREADY BEEN new years about a couple hours over on my side of the world. and i wanna be a sentimental little MF for a little bit

((these past couple months. getting the chance to come to this wonderful community, to meet all these wonderful people, to make all these new friends, to make all these wonderful experiences and to share the silly little adventures of a bisexual green cat from a chinese inspired world

((it just. it warms my heart. it makes me so happy. it makes me SO fucking happy.

((i dont know how many words ive written for this blog, but i will say

((in these past couple months, from the start of this blog to now, i have overtaken the amount of pages that were on the original wildcatofgreen blog. sitting at 157 pages of content here. compared to the old blog's 121.

((121 pages that were intermixed between hiatuses and long stretches of things happening.

((it's not like i didnt have passion for the blog--i started it right before freedom planet 2 was announced. the passion was there, the dripfeeds of content filling my brain were already set in motion and i did little blurbs questioning these characters we had never heard of before

((in the old blog's canon, askal was lilac's and carol's teacher. there was this overarching plot point about askal's training with these two to make them stronger and better, just in case a new threat were to occur (([if it wasnt obvious, i was setting up for fp2, of which i thought it wouldve been coming out Soon™. lmaoing at my old self she did not even have a sliver of a guess]

((i figured out reasonable dates for lilac's, milla's and carol's birthdays by scouring ziyo-ling's deviantart for the dates the characters were originally posted! (([lilac aug 19th (([milla may 28th (though with recent revelations her birthday might as well be the-day-they-found-her] (([carol dec 27th] (([and to complete the quadrio, neera's birthday would obviously be fp1's release date--july 21st]

((back then i even imagined a weird, strained relationship between carol and her sister. i had thoughts about how shitty the scarves were. i had ideas and headcanons about a LOT of stuff [and i still have to sift through all of it at SOME POINT i SWEAR IM GONNA DO IT]

((but i think the thing that... probably got me to stop doing it in the first place was... the lack of people to do it with? the lack of people to build these stories with and to make these things happen

((this isnt to say i wasnt rping with people back then--i obviously was. there's 121 pages to prove i was. and i remember hitting the milestone of getting 200 followers on that blog. it's probably not sitting at that number anymore with all the deactivated blogs and such ((but at it's peak! i had people who wanted to interact with me. i had probably a lot of the same things i do now.

((maybe, just... i was the problem, back then. i can see it from how standoffish i was--how my rules were written, how aggressive i wrote x y and z thing. and maybe someone who goes back to look at the previous blog wont get these same vibes i get ((but youre your own worst critic, right? i know myself--i know how scared i was to be friendly with people, to show myself and to kind of... have fun with things. i still have that fear now--to be more ooc than ic. that people dont care about ooc because the blog isnt about me--it's about carol!

((i still kind of hold that philosophy. y'all ain't follow for catmun y'all followed for carol, and i dont wanna flood up my blog with a bunch of unnecessary posts, no matter how much i wanna archive that stuff and keep it for prosperity's sake it kind of feels like i flooded up the blog from what's supposed to actually be there.

((i wasnt nice to myself much. i was kinda awkward but i can forgive myself for that. its been seven-to-five years since any of that. i didnt allow myself to be... well, me.

((but now. its kind of overwhelming, to see how much love and support this little blog gets. how people who i feel i can truly call my friends are so into the things that happen here. how people can enwrap themselves into this little silly lore i have. there's this passion here from... so many people i write with. its. its exciting!!!

((ive never felt so confident about my writing. ive never felt so happy about writing. ive never felt so excited to move on with another crazy wacky thing.

((i still think long time no see dragon girl is my magnum opus on this blog--something that ive tried to build up a while through hints about lilac's thought process without actually just, letting you see as her, and stuff through carol's thought process. the moment where it hit, the moment where lilac went on her little monologue about being the scarf's princess, the moment where lilac looked at carol and asked "Would you?" is, i think, one of the best things ive written on this blog hands down. ((and that all spawned from the funny question of ''what if lilac was homophobic and gay''. like that idea was just a funny joke to myself for a while, but the more i thought about it the more i went ''this could actually be something''. ((and then i started rping with azure and their lilac obviously influenced that lilac and now the two lilacs are one in the same ((it helps that past blog's lilac didnt DO much and i didnt have these thoughts about the love angle back thing. made everything more free form now (([though tbh if i DID i could just RETCON WHATEVER I WANTED HAHAHAHA]

((that's all not to say that i dont think the other things ive written on here werent good--not at all

((the first big plot with sonarmun, that all spawned off because an anon said "get married already" (([btw anon carol is currently getting married right now because of YOU. THIS IS YOUR FAULT, WHOLEHEARTEDLY <3]

((the date night, which TOOK A WHILE TBF but it was still loads of fun ((the first bapho/carol thread, which ALSO TOOK AWHILE but is still one of my favorites ((tangle/carol interactions give me life i love these two idiots so anything with THEM ((that first lilac/carol thread with azure [that is still unfinished, i intend to go back to it SOMEDAY] with all their cute interactions and all the neat things like carol's bike being decidedly not-as-cool as it is now and lilac's earpods being SHITTY and all the other things to show just how fucking far theyve come

((those are just some notable ones but there's so many things i think are just. GOOD. so many interactions i just. LOVE.

((big RECENT highlight? the most recent lilac/carol thread--carol's little tirade took. a while to write. but it all flowed off the page. and like, reading lilac during that thread genuinely made me wanna cry

((if you want another big recent highlight its the fights in the battlesphere blitz arc--just for the fact that i was going into something i had. NO confidence in [fight scenes]. and here this was gonna be a whole fucking arc just ABOUT fight scenes, built up for WEEKS at this point. ((i was so scared to do any of it. scared to write the fights, scared to do the character interactions, scared to pull off the cordelia plot point. but the fears werent warranted--because it all came out good. ((i am especially proud of the askal fight and the second spade fight--the one AFTER zao was an asshole. i think those two are real fucking highlights and im so happy with them

((point being...! its. all of this, all of this

((it makes me so happy!!!! this is the most fun ive had in years with writing!!!! this is the most passion ive had in years with writing!!!!! this makes me wanna do it for as long as i possibly can!!!!! im so fucking happy!!!!!!

((and a lot of it, a LOT of it, is thanks to you guys

((the people who follow me and want to interact with me and want to see more of the stuff i do and more of the ideas i have and

((all of it! i

((i didnt think i could be so happy about rping. i didnt think people like this would exist, frankly.

((i wouldnt be able to do awesome EVENTS like this. i had this lingering anxiety in the back of my head that the wedding would be too imposing on other writers and i didnt want to make it this big, grand, amazing event that it should be because like

((i was scared people wouldnt be down for it

((but everyone i sent in an ask for was... totally down for it!!! and even now people are doing things and interacting and just

((im so happy. im crying. im fuckin' crying because all of this feels impossibly awesome and i dont even know what to say

((thank you, all of you, from the bottom of my heart. no matter who you are, no matter if i interact with you a lot or dont interact at all, no matter if youre just a personal blog who sometimes reads my stuff, no matter what.

((thank you so much

((i didnt think anything about making the carol blog again, other than to get some stuff done with sonar and carol, and to maybe throw a silly cat at some people

((but all of this? all of this?

((i cant express how grateful i am. i cant express how happy this really makes me feel. i cant express how glad i am to be in such an amazing community full of roleplayers. i love you all, i really, really do.

((this blog has barely been up for three months. and ive already made memories and stories i know ill keep until the end of my days.

((i cant wait to continue writing with you all. i cant wait to see what the new year will bring us. because, fuck it

((its gonna be really, really fucking fun

((EDIT 4:52am 1/1/23: HAPPY NEW YEARS. I FORGOT TO PUT THAT IN OOPS MY BAD

((i love you all. i really, really do.

((thank you.))

[livecharliereaction]

manga ep2 big post last one

shes soooooooooooooo

ONE OF THE SCENES EVER LETS COMMENCE though its clear to me now that this probably just straight up didnt happen its only miss servants in the room oh idk about gohda

girl

its so awesome

kumasawa n nanjo corpses disappearing ohhh ur so obvious again some key fuckery though

iconic and i dont use that word often

i love it when they title drop

the pacing is fast as hell sure but like not really in a bad way im taking it as a recap for me anyway + i do rly like the artstyle i mean it

like cmoon. omg

i used to be happy that shes having so much fun but im not sure i want to say that anymore it feels pained. Hm. But i like that shes playing around with it. Actually yeah i think she genuinely is kind of having fun w the game at this stage... Whatever it is its fun to watch its her theater its her stage shes great at it. just look at all the shit she does No locked room mystery where she needs to do all that and at the same time i believe she needs to be doing all that all the time. OK

its about the mirror SHANNONS ASS DOES NOT LOOK RELIEVED LMFAOOOO

i honestly dont remember what else happens now i mean i remember post-game but i feel like someone else will die but i dont remember who. maybe only battler maria rosa remained i dont rmb

shannon i like u so much shannon

oh beatrice people go to war for people like you beatrice

SHANNON SAID SHE WANTS TO HEAR GEORGE SAY HE LOVES HER ONE MORE TIME OH BEATRICE UR SO FUNNY

they match each others nasty

rosas banquet time. another peak scene of the series for sures

font made me giggle

hi girl. ohhh another reason to read higurashi first i remember exactly how seeing this in vn felt

in retrospect theyre so fucking funny in question arcs. they kind of have nothing to do with this game theyre just here to idk. scissor

after erika shows up its all downhill for them too all culminates to that ep8 scene i do love it theyre so much fun its true its true

someones said this before me but something can be said about the language they use to describe their love as witches VS the language they used as satorika something something breaking free from the confines of heteronormative human expectations and its not a matter of "oh we have to be in the closet khyaa #secret #girllove" nuh uh it sort of claws its way into their very feelings and perceptions of themselves and each other and i dont know etc etc etc everyone knows this lambdabern been crazy ok anyway

fun manga im not gonna have a crazy pace but ik theres some differences in ???? ep8 ??? or answer arcs anyway so i def want to read there. specifically interested in 4 and 678 but ill prolly read them all this one at least wasnt very long yup yup ok gn

[done-drinking]

Have i fucking ever given you a reason to think im a scumbag, think real fucking hard. After everything we went through, all the support, all the "love" and appreciation for eachother. I have been nothing but there for you. I have done nothing but try to be understanding towards you and patient. Sometimes we didnt communicate and it made things difficult, but was i a scumbag? Did i ever do anything to you or anyone to make you think i didnt try my best to be there or helpful or a good fucking person. I dont like drama, i dont hate anyone, i dont want to see anyone upset or angry, especially you. You deserve the fucking world, everyone does. So what the fuck happened man, what makes you think i was actually talking shit about you. Whos twisting my words or your mind and why was it so easy for you to disregard all ive been towards you over the past year. Best manager ive ever had and one of my best friends, you got me my job and ive been slowly recovering and pleased to be there. Now what, you think im so much of an asshole you guys banned me from the stores and were ready to press charges over something i said? What did i say, fucking call me and tell me. Cuz i dont fucking know. If you think i drunk talked to people i havent. I havent been drunk at work since you told me to never do it again, and that was when i was working for you. Drunk now? Drunk texting people at my job now? No, and no. Im about to go to work and be anxious about how everyone there probably thinks im a scumbag now, whole town probably lowkey thinks it because thats the kind of place it is. All regulars, lots of drama. If i wanted to make your life hell i couldve told everyone we fucking slept together, an obvious lie and we both know it but everyone else would question and talk about it. That would be a scumbag move. Would i? No, never, even now being as pissed off as i am. I respected your requests. The "dont text back, delete those posts, etc". I lied to him about kissing you, all of it to help try and keep your mental state okay while mine fucking broke. Ive only ever spoken highly of you at my job. Ive lied so much to the people asking why i quit working for you to save your image because i still fucking care about you. "I left because i didnt enjoy some of the people i worked with and it was just a stressful environment to work in, or just needed to feel like i was moving up in the world or needed a change of pace". You dont think im important anymore or am not a good person? Who are you. What the fuck happened to you man. We were good friends and you were so quick to toss me aside fucking multiple time. Getting past the "relationship" was a good reason to toss me aside. It def helped us both give up on that, but tossing aside our friendship like we didnt have one. Tossing me aside now, thinking ive just became an asshole in the past few weeks and am trying to shit on your life? Are you just saying all this to try and get past me or what idk man, if you are and care about me at all anymore then please fucking stop because youre hurting me even more. Like what the fuck man. Im so pissed off at you right now, and i should hate you but i just fucking cant and thats pissing me off even more. Forgive all my swearing to any christians reading this if anyone reads this at all, but i try to be a man of God and you know that too. So i forgive you for thinking im some cunt now. I forgive you for the emotional rollercoaster waiting for you to change was. You said you ruined my life, you didnt. You damaged me and broke me but i forgive you, im repairable. I still have my whole life ahead of me. I wasnt it, i wasnt enough, i wasnt the one, i wasnt important, everything you said i was, wasnt, even though you said you meant everything you say to me. Its all very clear to me now thank you. I forgive you. Youve really pissed me tf off though. Youve always wondered/wanted to see me get pissed off, well here it is, congrats you did it.

[hallabongy]

is it so bad to want something more? suna x reader (friends with benefits to couple?)

a/n: ha.ha. long time no see. sorry for not posting for literal months. i dont know where the inspiration came for this not proofread drabble but here’s one with rin! it was written pretty quickly and in full honesty not good but i had the idea and ran with it since its been so long since the last post. also in no way do i think suna would actually be like this but you know “creative process” (is that what it’s even called?) anyway i hope some people enjoy this poorly written work

waking up to the sounds of the city was something that you still werent used to 

everytime you spent the night at suna’s apartment you had to remind yourself of the different location. 

and even though youre still not used to the city life you were getting better at it given how  often you found yourself at suna’s 

just from the amount of light coming through the blinds you can tell its pretty late in the day

letting out a sleep filled sigh you turn over to be faced with suna sleeping on his stomach, hands underneath the pillow he was using to sleep on

he looks so peaceful as you focus on his soft breathing and taking note of his bed head, running your hand through it

you cant help the small smile that forms when he nestles his head against your hand, a small groan escaping him

the smile grew on your face but along with it came a small pang in your heart

things with suna have been nice so far. even with his busy schedule he always made time for you

that being said there was never a label on your relationship yet. you both never made it clear what exactly you were looking for 

lets take a little rewind in how this all started...

your first time meeting and getting together happened so naturally you guess him and you kind of forgot to talk about it. 

but after your first couple of times meeting up suna would jokingly say things that made it seem like he wasnt looking for anything serious 

things like “volleyball has me so busy its hard for a personal life” or even saying “i’m telling you straight up, you shouldnt fall for me” 

so actually thinking about it, it’s pretty obvious that suna was not looking for a partner but even after hearing him say that you still stuck around him. and thats how you continued to hit it off. 

something about the two of you just worked. he seemed content with whatever your relationship was and you had no intention of bringing it up and possibly ruining it 

but now that feeling in your chest kept pulling at your heart and was only worsening and getting stronger

it became overwhelming when suna mumbled a raspy “g’morning” before wrapping his arms around your middle and pulling him into his bare chest

a small “hi” is all your able to let out when you stare into his eyes that are slowly blinking open

“did you sleep okay?” he breathes against your cheek, moving down and pressing kisses on your collarbones and then making his way up your neck, ear, and forehead

“yeah, those cars can be so freaking loud” you stumble out, fighting the blush forming on your cheeks. it suddenly became very warm 

“thats the city for you pretty girl. better get used to it” suna chuckles, pressing a final kiss on your nose giving it a little nip

“why would i have to get used to it?” you said it trying to be nonchalant but knew suna could hear the sense of hope in that question

“well you seem to be here in my apartment sharing my bed more than your own so it only makes sense to make the most of the situation”

you were a little stunned by his words and said what you were thinking before you could stop yourself “ah. gotcha. well i’m glad i can keep the other half of your bed warm. but maybe there’s someone else whose already in the city who can do that for you instead” 

you rolled your eyes before turning over in the bed when he grabbed your waist tugging you back against his chest “hey you know i didnt mean it like that. i really do like spending time with you and like having you stay with me.”

your back was still faced towards him “please, look at me” 

you let out a heavy huff before craning your neck and then the rest of your body to stare at him again

“i know that we never established what we were but i always thought that i dont know, maybe i was more than just a recurring hookup”

“you are pretty angel. you’re not just a hookup to me. i know that i’ve said im busy and its because i really am but after being with you for so long i want to continue this. but now as an actual couple” suna bent down to look you straight in the eyes a small smile on his lips when he noticed the heavy blush you wore and toothy grin you couldnt help, before his went in for a kiss 

it was soft and sweet, just what was needed for this hazy summer afternoon as you both were wrapped in the sheets. 

suna moved your bodies so that he was on top of you moving in between your legs never once breaking the kiss

now all that could be heard in his bedroom were the small gasps and whimpers to were letting out from the kiss that was leaving you breathless

you had to tap his shoulders to get him to stop so you could get some air as he finally leaned back with a smug look

he leaned his forehead against yours, looking deep into your eyes before he cheekily let out “i thought i told you not to fall in love with me”

“you did. but i took that as a recommendation not a rule”

[raisinchallah]

I can't find the post now but you saying in Strange New Worlds where Spock says "Starfleet is where I'm accepted" or something like that. Excuse me while I make my tinfoil hat but I can't shake the feeling that newer Trek shows are shifting to military propaganda or 9/11 really did move TV so far right that they have to be even more obvious and basic with their messages. Like you said, it's such a revision but also hard for me to not think "Who benefits from this"

ok this answer got a bit out of control dfjklad;jklj its going under the cut

yeah i think theres a ton of different factors and i do think its been a gradual shift starting before these new shows like i didnt actually realize until recently but voyager was produced as a network show not a syndicated show like tng and ds9 and had to answer to the executives of upn as well as paramount (tho paramount owned upn) and there was a lot more executive meddling and was part of why the show like wasnt able to have any kind of overarching story or anything tho rick berman was also super nervous about that and in many ways voyager feels like a shift towards a sort of baffling obsession with starfleet rules and obsession with starfleet for starfleets sake which i think is somewhat jarring after watching ds9 and feels like active course correction and then of course the most extreme product of the post 9/11 tv environment was enterprise also produced in a similar atmosphere with that kind of oversight and all that i think also well its been the slow march towards understanding itself as a larger franchise as well and i guess as each subsequent show is produced its like actively defining what the franchise itself is... and then theres aos which actually is pretty interesting on this front that it does portray a much more militarized starfleet and is definitely critical of that but i think perhaps has been taken by some people to be like well starfleet = good so militarized starfleet also = good and because it was so many peoples first introduction to star trek i dont actually know how that has altered fan perception and so on and now we exist in a world of more and more giant sprawling franchises that also have extremely tightly controlled content that is also wrapped up in military propaganda and i dont think star trek is ever gonna like fully going on in that direction but i do find it interesting i guess starfleet has become the defining trait of the series and must always exist i think the push to bring back the federation in discovery really is so puzzling to me but i guess just again reflects this history and i suppose u cant really call something star trek now if u dont have the little delta shaped badge on or something when i dont really feel like that has to be what it is cuz its a massive massive universe to explore i know picard this season is i guess trying to be political and comment on current events but tbh i havent watched it so i do not really know how people are assessing its handling of it and all but i do think this would be idk interesting to look into and think about and wow i just realized i strayed kinda far from your question um anyways back to the revisionism yeah i think partially it might just be trying to sand off the edges and redefine this story and show for their ongoing franchise plans and like the newer shows have very much been stuck in looking at old star trek sort of a snake eating its tail which i think will always angle towards somewhat underwhelming and kinda conservative takes idk i wonder if in many ways its trying to reflect how fans and the public percieve what star trek should be rather than like reality idk all marketing something adkl;kladfj i am trying to not be so cynical and whatever but idk its interesting ok sorry for the word wall

[castiels-majestic-wings]

Clueless

Paring: Loki x Reader

Word Count: 1216

Warnings: French kissing??

Posted: 30/01/2021

Based on this Ask

It had been months, you had dropped every hint you could to show you had liked him. You had used every ounce of your patience. He was blind to your flirting. So you did what anyone else would. Make him jealous. You thought of ways to do it, there was a party coming up. But that was too obvious. So you thought you would use your best friend instead. Walking to his door, you gave it a knock before hearing him on the other side.

"Come in" It was faint but you had heard it. Opening the door you smiled and made your way to sit on his bed. Bucky was at his desk writing a report for his latest mission.

"What do I owe the pleasure?" He placed his pen down, crossing his arms, giving you his full attention.

"I need a favour" His face dropped in confusion.

"Whats up doll?"

"I need you to flirt with me" He cocked his brow in your direction, puzzled by your request.

"I’m sorry can you run that by me again" He leaned forward placing his elbows on his knees.

"I mean when Loki is around." You knew he didn't like Loki, but he had heard you gush about him for months. He knew you weren't changing your mind. But he stayed silent, obviously opposed to the idea.

"Please Buck, if you do this I'll stop talking about him around you" This intruigued him, he never liked the so called God of Mischief. But being his best friend meant he would listen to whatever you had to sasy, whether he liked it or not. He pondered for a moment and knew he needed to get something out of this too.

“I’ll do it on one condition”

“Name your price, Barnes”

“Give me your friends number.” The cheeky smirk on his face showed his enjoyment. You had avoided giving him her number since she came to visit you, he had flirted with Meghan but you had intervened. You didnt exactly want two of your best friends dating, but you needed this favour, so you would risk it.

“Fine, but only if the flirting is succesful.” You crossed your arms to stand your ground on this one. Bucky wasnt getting Meghans number if you got nothing out of it.

“Loki is clueless, do you really think me flirting will finally get him to grow a pair.”

“I’m hope it does. But if it doesnt, I’m just gonna tell him straight up.”

“Getting bold are we?” He held a playful look on his face, teasing your determination.

“Shut it before I steal your arm and shove it up your ass”

~~~

Bucky had kept his end of the deal. Whenever you two were together, and he knew Loki was nearby. He would flirt with subtle touches, petnames, wrapping his arms around you. He did everything you had asked him too. Loki had walked out of the room multiple times, discomforted by the way you two were acting around each other. You knew it was working, but it pained you to see how hurt he was by your actions. So you decided to speak to him. You had found him in the library, which wasnt really surprising. He spent most of his time there when he wanted a quiet space. He was sat in the corner by the window, reading silently. You knew reading calmed him, you didnt want to interrupt him, but you had to speak to him. Slowly, you made your way to him, grabbing a book from the shelves in the process. You sat across from him, keeping silent, trying to find a way to start up a conversation. But Loki had beat you to it.

“You and Barnes seem closer now.” He kept his gaze on the book he held, turning a page as he spoke.

“I mean yeah, he’s my best friend Loki-”

“No I mean, are you- nevermind” His curiousness of your relationship gave you high hopes.

“We arent dating if thats what you’re asking”

“I wasn’t-”

“You really are stupid for a God”

“Excuse me?” He finally met your gaze, placing his book down.

“You really are dumb you know-” He got angry at you, for questioning the knowledge he thought you enjoyed. You always listened to his stories, but maybe he was wrong.

“I have extensive knowlage you couldn’t even dream of. I have had millenia to collect the knowledge I possess I-” He stopped, hearing the giggle escaping your throat.

“I never said that you weren’t smart and knowledgable. I just meant that you are so clueless” You took his silence as permission to continue.

“You really havent caught on to anything I've been trying to tell you, albeit silently. But most people would catch on by now.” He slammed his hands on the table, standing abruptly.

“Well I’m no Midgardian, I dont understand any silent conversations you said you had with me-” Raising your voice you finally confessed.

"Why are you so blind? Don't you know that I love you." Loki stayed silent, his face contorted into one filled with confusion, hope and fear. Noticing this, you stood up and walked around the table to stand in front of him.

“You dont have to return my feelings, I know how difficult life was for you in Asgard. I dont expect anything. But that whole thing with Bucky was to make you jealous. I noticed that it worked though” Loki scoffed as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“I wasnt jealous” His reaction made you laugh before you placed a hand on his chest.

“Well, since it didnt work. I guess I have to find someone else~” As the teasing tone left your lips, he suddenly gained more confidence than he previously had. He backed you up against the shelves that were conveniently placed behind you. The force he used caused several books to fall to the floor. The mischievous smirk returned to his face.

“Well, since you went through the trouble, it would be rude of me not to accept your confession” Not letting him win you moved your body closer making sure your noses touched. He took that as consent as he placed his lips on yours, it started slow, and sweet. But in your confident state you deepened the kiss, letting your tongues intertwine, tasting every bit of his as you could. His hands moved to your waist as yours hooked around his neck, pulling him even closer. It felt like hours before you finally parted for oxygen. You kept hold of him, keeping his body close for a few seconds before you heard Bucky in the doorway.

“Told you! Sam you owe me 10 bucks!” Sam grabbed his wallet handing the note to his cyborg friend reluctantly.

“And you missy owe me a phone number” Rolling your eyes you separated from Loki, walking towards the exit. Taking a piece of paper out of your pocket you slapped it against Bucky’s chest letting him grab it before dropping your hands.

“You hurt her I swear to god I will do worse things than Hydra” You looked back to Loki gesturing him to follow.

“You coming?” Loki elegantly followed you to your room so you could finish what you had started.

[ah-yes-paris]

beatles harmonies that cured my depression.

It is important that i discuss this. Well, not really important I just really wanted to share. This is in no particular order either it's just the ones that come to the top of my head lol. Feel free to reblog and share your own 😎

1. The "Woahoooah AHHHHH" from When I Get Home.

Not even words can describe the battery power that starts coursing through my veins when I hear this harmony. I cant even,....LIKE HELLO??? i have never heard such a blessing... Such a well-fitting triplet of voices singing a vowel thats made me feel like i can run 10 miles straight. They aren't real. The Beatles, of course. To this day I don't understand how this harmony exists in this universe. My ears melt everytime. One of my favorites, in case you couldn't tell.

2. The obvious.. "yeah yeah yeah YEAHH" from She Loves You :)

LET ME TELL YOU. oh my god let me tell yo u .. Way back when, when I was a new fan... Good lord. I was literally ascending. ASCENDING. i felt every inch of my body start to lift off the ground. Im sure im not the only one who's experienced this. I remember thinking 'how the wiggle wubble do 3 men sound so GOOD TOGETHER' IT DOES NOT ADD UP PEOPLE THE BEATLES HAVE TO BE SOME SORT OF ROBOTIC BOY BAND GROWN IN A LAB THIS ISNT POSSIBLE how do we live on the same dimensional plane that this harmony lives on..

3. "The magical mystery tour, is coming to take you away, Coming to take you away!" from Magical Mystery Tour.

...

guys. Guys you dont understand. This one line, adds, YEARS. LITERAL YEARS TO MY LIFE SPAN. At this point I am fully immortal. The "coming to take you awayyy" makes my heart POUND. i love this song so much... And this line especially... It makes me go insane. Basically the beatles are manic melody genuises that have successfully spread one of the biggest diseases in musical history. Personally, I think this line was a clear example of why.

4. "Last night I said these words to my girl", "Please pleaase me, oh yeah, like i please you...", "...With you! Oh yeah, why do you make me blue" from Please Please Me.

do i even have to say anything. Well, i dont but i will for the sake of the post. There is so much. So much. About this song that I. I cant even,,. I would choose this song over SO MANY BEATLES SONGS DUDE. not that its cause i think its better than all the others but it just holds such a special place in my heart. Its the only song thats Ever made me feel some intense wave of nostalgia for a decade i wasnt even born in. Its one of the songs that continue to make me question the beatles existance. How could something like this ever come to reality. My brain has never been so pleased in its life.

5. "Carve your number on my wall and maybe you will get a call from me" from If I Needed Someone.

The way that this song was added into my Liked playlist SO QUICKLY...... God. I love george. Hes my favorite after all. Rubber Soul as a whole makes me feel warm inside but this song and this one line just hits so much more intensely for some reason... Their voices just flow insanely well and I just DONT UNDERSTAND HOW. its like an angel choir making its way through the clouds as you see the gate to heaven start to appear. Wonderful song and mind-blowing harmony... The beat is so good too and i just explode.

6. The "ahhhhh Ahhhhh AHhhhh *inhale* AHHHhhhh AHHHHH *inhale* AHHHHHH" from Day Tripper.

HOLY JESUS CHIRST THIS SONG HAS SO MUCH TO UNPACK... There are undeniably A BUNCH of other flawless harmonies in this song but my god the beatles knew what they were doing. Thats all I'm going to say really.... But once again. Power. In my veins. A few listens to this song and you'll find yourself having the strength of 1,000 men.

7. "Oh, now", "All I want is you" from Dig a Pony.

FIRST LYRIC... ITS LITERALLY 2 WORDS AND YET IT CONTINUES TO BLOW MY MIND. Something about the "Oh" ...... Its like an arrow passing through my heart I dont even know guys. Im not lying when I say it makes me feel like im floating. It makes me feel like i can quite literally grow wings and fling myself towards the sun. Dont even get me started on "All I want is you".......it literally triples the effect. It makes me go ballistic. The song is just mindless lyrics but the harmonieeesss.....

8. "Ah girlll.... *inhaeahelrlsseeesh* Girrll...." from Girl.

no words. Like. No words. I cant even. I seriously dont need to explain this one. Im just going to drop the isolated vocals version because if you havent listened to it you are MISSING OUT... you thought the originally recorded song was the greatest cause of your heart palpitations? Well you thought WRONG.

THIS IS.

9. "I love youwoowooowoowoooo...", "ask me WHYY..", "I can't believe.. Its happened to MEeee", "i cant concieve *doo doo doo do doo* of anymore *dun dun dun* MISERY" from Ask Me Why.

GOD OK LISTEN im just gonna say this now i absolutely adore and favor the please please me album so much i dont care what anyone says ok im such a sucker for their early sappy love songs ITS SO MANY GOOD HARMONIES ESPECIALLY FROM THIS ONE. MY GOD i listen to this and i feel like im with a lover late at night and we're like at one or the others house keeping each other warm and being all romantic and happy. Specifically the part that goes "ask me whyy I say i love you.. (OOOOHHHOOOO) and im always thinking of youuhoohohoo..." LIKE COME ON PLEAEE IT MAKES ME FEEL SO WARM INSIDE AND I SMILE IN AN INSTANT GOD I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH. Whenever i think im sad i go "no im not because Please Please Me." And its like all the sudden everything im sad about just poof disappears!

10. "If theres anything that you want.. IF THERES ANYTHING I CAN DOOOO" from From Me To You.

I am so in love with this song you guys i have no idea I LOVE IT SO MUCH. IT HAS THIS LITTLE SWING TO IT SPECIFICALLY BETWEEN THESE 2 LINES THAT MY BRAIN SEEKS FOR NEARLY EVERY DAY. the amount of blessing i get from this song is more than i can comprehend its literally insane i cant even. How does someone do this how did the beatles make music guys I am seriously so dumbfounded like they just sat there and wrote banger after banger like WHAT. this song makes me believe that life isnt as horrible as it seems and if im lucky enough i can just sing and dance to this song for all of eternity. There are also so many other good harmonies in this one as well...

---

In conclusion the beatles have had a chokehold on me for 3 years but I mean their stupid groundbreaking songs keep drawing me back in so.... This has also made me come to the conclusion that the Beatles simply arent real because I still dont believe a band can not only write consistent hits, but also harmonize in a way that causes me to spin around while doing backflips.

Thank you for your time.

[violetnotez]

Izuku x reader

⤷ Genre: Fluff, Barista AU!

⤷ Word Count: 7000+

⤷ Warnings: FLUFF (and maybe some second hand embarrassment!)

⤷ Synopsis: As your getting your morning coffee fix from a new cafe, your pleasantly meet with an extremely cute barista. Too bad he heard your name wrong though.

Song Recs: ⤷Sweater Weather-The Neighbourhood ⤷I Dont Know Why-NOTD ⤷Touch and Go-Ed Sheeran

This is for the Izuku Month! PLs go and check out the awesome writers participating for this month!

Please ignore all my banners being 20 different sizes I can’t figure out which size I like best 😂

You stepped into the shop, the warm smell of spices and coffee beans filling the air. It felt so warm and cozy, the whirring of the machines going on in the background as you breathed out a deep sigh.

It was one of your first days off in what seemed like an extremely long time, so you thought it would only be fitting to do some exploring today. You had always wanted to try this coffee shop, as it was acclaimed for its signature “Hero Themed” Lattes, so of course you had to at least try one.

The line was fairly long, as any popular cafe would be in the morning, people bustling to get their caffeine fix before they did their daily routine.

You got a spot in line, opening up the cafe’s Instagram page to look at all the wonderful options. Everything looked so yummy and delicious, your mouth salivating at each picture posted. Your eyes were glued to the screen, your feet only moving once you felt the body in front of you inch forward.

It didn’t take long for a chirpy voice to call in front of you, a welcoming “Next Please!” ringing against your ear. You looked up, your mind finally deciding on what drink you wanted- until your eyes landed on quite possibly the prettiest boy you had ever seen.

His hair was unruly and curly, a mixture of greens cascading across his face. His eyes complimented his hair so well, the bright emerald orbs full of happiness and kindness. He was just adorable, his pearly white smile aimed straight at you, not a hit of worry amidst the chaos around him from the morning rush.

You gave him a meek smile, your cheeks on fire-god, how were you gonna order and not be completely flustered? This boy was literally gorgeous!

Your feet took you to the counter as you clutched your phone with shaky hands.

“Hi miss, what can I getcha?” He asked sweetly, his hands grabbing a cup. A Sharpie was posed in his fingers, waiting to start writing down exactly what you wanted to order. After being blessed with this beautiful specimen of a man in front of you, you completely forgot what you wanted to drink.

You hastily looked at the menu above your head, searching for the coffee you had planned to ask for. Nothing seemed right, and you were cursing yourself for looking so clueless. 

This poor guy was probably already super busy, and you were now holding him up!

“Having some trouble?” He asked, noticing your obvious dilemma.

“Yeah, I’m sorry,” you apologized, your lips shaped in a soft smile, “I kinda forgot what I wanted to order!”

“Oh no worries, really, I totally understand!” he grinned, “the menu is pretty big!”

“Yeah, it is!” you chuckled lightly, your cheeks feeling warm. “What do you recommend?”

The boy smiled at you, your heart swooning. God, how could he be so pretty!!

Wait-did he have freckles?!? The faint specks sparkled against his pinkish cheeks, making you fall for the boy even more. You had barely talked to this boy for 2 minutes and you were already head over heels.

He seemingly didn’t notice your heart pained crisis, his eyes bright as ever.

“Oh, everything on the menu is amazing! The Hawks latte is quite nice, it’s very light and airy-as well as the Endeavor, but it has cinnamon and gives it a pretty good kick-” he began rambling on about the drinks, his eyes brightening just talking about them. You couldn't fathom how he could talk so fast, the words melding into one as he listed off the most popular drinks.

His voice was melodic though, so soft and calming-yet so excited too. His voice could make calculus interesting to you.

“-but my personal favorite is the All Might drink,” he blushed slightly, his face clearly a little embarrassed as he relayed this information to you.

You grinned at his adorable expression, noticing the small All Might pin he had neatly stuck into the front of his apron.

“You're an All Might fan I’m assuming?” You noted, your voice amused and kind as you pointed at the enamel pin.

He touched the front of his apron, looking down as he tried to follow your line of eyesight.

“Oh-oh yeah!” He smiled brightly once he realized what you were referring to, “ever since I was a kid, he’s always been my favorite!”

He beamed at you, his voice stuttering slightly.

He was so adorable and  a nerd too? God, you could marry him on the spot. 

You grinned at him, flashing the back of your phone case and revealing the All Might pop socket in the back.

His eyes widened like saucers in shock, his smile growing even wider as he laid eyes on the fan merch.

“I might be an All Might fan myself,” you admitted, your heart thumping in your chest.

“Then you have to try the All Might latte!” He exclaimed, “If-if you want to try it of course..”

“I’m down!” You smiled brightly, watching how his face light up when you agreed as he hastily wrote down the drink order on the side of the cup.

“Can I-I get your name?” He stuttered slightly, his eyes wide and doe-like.

His hand holding the Sharpie was hovering over the cup, watching you with expectant eyes. You took a small breath, your words about to spill out of your mouth-until an extremely loud blender erupted in noise behind the counter.

“It’s y/n,” you tried to yell over the sounds, feeling a little bit of awkwardness fill your stomach as he cocked his head to the side, obviously confused.

He opened his mouth, words dribbling out but nothing being heard as the machine continued to whir on.

You internally cursed that damn thing for ruining the cute moment you had with this hot barista, your cheeks aflame as you nodded numbly to his question.

Whatever he asked couldn’t matter that much-right?

He smiled widely, accepting your answer as he hastily wrote your name on the side of the cup and told you the price of the drink. You quickly paid, your eyes drinking him in one last time-he was just so cute and adorable, you wanted to permanently get each detail of his emblazed into your memory.

He handed you your receipt and change back to you, his grin as wide as ever.

“My name is Izuku-Izuku Midoriya,” he added, his cheeks warm and his voice stuttering slightly, “just in case if you need anything else!”

You giggled softly, a little confused by his comment but nevertheless ecstatic by it.

His name! It was so unique, yet so innocent sounding and kind, you couldn’t help but feel your heart soar at the sound.

“Thank you Izuku,” you waved him politely, your heart pumping as you found an empty table to sit and wait for your drink. Your arms rested on the cool surface, the chair squeaking slightly as you shifted in a comfortable position. The machines continued to whir, the sounds of multiple conversations cascading throughout the small space. You began going through your social media, trying to suppress the wide smile that was trying to blossom over your face. You had just met the cutest guy ever- and weren't even trying! It almost felt so surreal, as if this moment was too good to be true.

“MIru!”

You began to hear his voice repeating a name, calling out for a customer to get their drink. You continued to look down at your phone, a small part of you saddened that it wasn't your name he was calling out.

“Uh-Miru?”

He continued to call out that same name, his voice getting a little louder each time. He almost sounded worried, hesitant even, as if he was confused about what was going on.

Thats weird- that person should have gotten their drink by now, you thought vaguely, noticing people were beginning to notice his voice as well.

“Wait, why are they looking at me?” you wondered, A small ounce of panic filling your stomach, making it feel heavy like lead as you finally looked around. 

A few customers were giving you strange looks, your head swiveling now to look at Izuku.

Wait- why is he looking at me? You thought in horror, your eyes meeting the kind, emerald orbs of Izuku’s. He looked relieved once you finally made eye contact with him, a bright smile blossoming under those freckled cheeks of his. He gave a tentative wave, motioning for you to come over.

Well thats weird-the name he was calling out wasnt even close to yours-

You got up anyway, unable to disobey the kind eyes of Izuku. You pushed your chair under the table, the legs squeaking against the shiny floor as you shuffled your way to the counter.

“Hi again!” he said cheerfully, his voice shy and sweet against your ears. ‘Its-Miru, right?”

Oh no-wait-

You finally put two and two together, a horrible realization bursting inside you- 

he heard your name wrong.

Oh crap, why did this have to happen to you? How did he hear get your name that bad?? 

 You finally meet a nice guy, someone actually genuine and kind, you hit off of, and bam-something comes to screw it all up.

In this case-an obnoxiously loud blender turned on at just the worst time.

You licked your lips, your mouth parting slightly to tell him, no, in fact, that was not your name-

But you looked again at that charming face of Izuku’s, his expressions glazed with innocence and nerves as he waited expectantly for your answer. The poor guy had called out this random name for a 2 whole minutes, probably feeling so idiotic as he waited for you to come and get your drink. Your cheeks burned at the thought, feeling embarrassed for both you and him. He must have felt so awkward standing there, just staring at you in confusion as he called out your “name” and you not even moving a muscle! If you told him he had gotten your name completely wrong, he would feel even worse about the whole situation, most likely feeling extremely embarrassed for something that wasnt even his fault.

You didnt want to make him feel anymore nervous or awkward than he already felt-you decided to swallow your pride, your head meekly nodding in a “Yes.”

His face immediately light up, obvious relief flooding his expression.

“Oh, thats great!” he exclaimed, a nervous chuckle spilling from his lips, “for a second there, I thought I was saying your name wrong…”

“Yeah, imagine how embarrassing that would be,” you said, your voice hesitant as you gave him a nervous smile.

Oh, if he only knew.

“I-uh-I don't when you'll be able to come back, but-but I have some pro hero collectibles I'd really like to show you-of course, only if you're interested!” the poor boy was stuttering again, his words melding into one.”IknowyourprobablyreallybusyandIdon'twanttopressureyouitsjustIvenevermetagirlwholikeheroessomuch-”

You laughed sweetly at the boy’s obvious dilemma, his speech beginning to quicken at an ungodly rate as his cheeks blossomed adorably with red.

“You're a talker, aren't ya?” you said between giggles, your hand grabbing the drink from his. Your fingers brushed against each other momentarily, your heart quickening by the sudden contact.

“Id love to see them Izuku,” you gave him a small smile, his green orbs widening slightly and then scrunch up into a bright, nervous grin  as he scratched the back of his neck.

“Can you come in on Tuesday-at 8? I know thats a little early but we aren't very busy then-”

You looked up, your teeth catching your lip as you thought over your schedule, the drink beginning to chill your palm.

“Thats sounds perfect, Ill see you on Tuesday, then,” you gave the boy a small smile, your eyes glinting mischievously, “Ill bring my signed All Might poster with me too-”

“A WHAT?!” he practically screamed those words, his voice giddy with excitement. “THE All MIght signed your-”

“Hey, Fanboy, can you please come back- we kinda need your help right now!” A girl with pink skin and piercing yellow eyes yelled over her shoulder, both her hands occupied as she swirled whip cream over two drinks at the same time. A girl with a brown bob was taking orders at warp speed, her face clearly in distress as the line somehow got longer as you two were talking.

“Oh-uh-of course Mina, Ill be right there!” he yelled back, his shyness returning as he gave you a small smile.

“Im sorry, I have to go-”

“No worries! I dont want to be taking more of your time,” you replied, a little bit of embarrassment dripping inside you as you sipped your coffee. Even though you felt guilty for talking to him for so long, you couldnt help but feel warm and fuzzy all over. He asked to to come back! This guy was so adorable you could practically scream. “Ill see you on Tuesday then?”

“Yeah-Tuesday!” he chuckled softly, “It was nice meeting up Miru.’

Oh yeah-he didnt actually know your name.

Your cheeks flushed with red , embarrassment building inside you as you remembered the miscommunication.

“Uh-uh-yeah, bye Izuku!” you hastily replied back as you walked over to the exit, making sure to keep your back to the boy as you used your shoulder to open it, a burst of chilled air hitting you.

God, your cheeks were so red- you sucked on your drink, hoping the intense coldness would cool down your face some.

It sucked that he had heard your name wrong, but the guy was too hot-you just didnt have the heart to tell him the truth then and there.

Oh well, you sighed, walking back to your car, there’s always time….

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ

Next time never came.

You, of course, took Midoriya on his offer to meet up with him the next week. He had shown you pictures of his collection of hero figurines, and boy did he have a lot.

He seemed sheepish, showing you, his cheek blossoming red like a tomato, his freckles like specks of stars pecking out of a hazy sunset. He had stuttered as he held out his phone (an All Might phone case in the back of course), as he explained that he had been collecting since he was a kid.

You chuckled at his adorable demeanor- but god, he really had been collecting for years! His whole room was decked out in All mIght gear-it was quite impressive, but you had to giggle at the kid-ish nature of the room.

You, of course, had brought in the poster, which had brought tears to poor Midoriya's eyes. You would have thought he had won the lottery, his shrieks of excitement filling the empty cafe as he gushed over the signature

 It was strange to see him without a crowd of people, the stress nowhere evident in his soft complexion as he freaked out over your piece of memorabilia.

You could truly appreciate him and his beauty when he wasn’t scrambling to get orders now, his laugh bright and unapologetic, his fanboy screams squeaky yet sweet. He radiates brightness, his whole body like a ball of energy of warm sunshine.

A bright sun in the cosmos.

You were gravitated to him, unable to stop yourself to want to know more and,learn everything about him: what he liked, what he didn’t like, his favorite food, his favorite color, his aspirations in life-any and every thing that made up Izuku Midoriya you wanted to document like you were his personal biographer.

It did feel awkward that he still called you by that silly name, but you were too embarrassed at that point to even confront him about it. You had visited his shop on the same day and time for the past 2 months, pegging for the poor boy like a puppy yearning for attention. At this point, you were getting quite antsy to go out with him, but he was still so nervous around you you were afraid to screw it up.

If you told him your name was wrong, would he be too embarrassed? Would it screw up the relationship you two had created from quick interactions behind a counter? Had you catfished in some weird way by playing along with the name he had mistakenly given you?

You were overthinking it, you knew it, but you were too terrified about the possibility of losing Izuku that you sucked up your worries. You had taken the name as a nickname now, the sound coming from his lips making your ears ting red and biting your lip in embarrassment. You were dying to hear your real name play against his lips, wondering how the word would sound in his sweetly honey voice

“Here ya go, one Mirko cappuccino!” Izuku shouted sweetly, his bright teeth gleaming under the fluorescent lights and morning sun.

You smiled at the green headed boy, your hands resting on the marble. The top felt cool against your skin, the flecks of brown like confetti as it glimmered against the lights.

You watched as he shuffled from behind the counter, sliding through a small gate as he walked towards you. Your heart skipped a beat dramatically.

He rarely came out from behind the counter, but when he did, it always made your breath disappear and your eyes get wide with flusteredness. For some reason, seeing him in all his glory, from his shaggy forest hair to his well built forearms made your mouth dry as you stared into those green orbs of his.

That permanent blush still played in his cheeks, the freckles matching the glimmering countertop perfectly as he stared down at you slightly. He handed you the drink, his fingers brushing against yours gently.

You internally screamed, your heart palpitating from the feathery touch. His skin was so warm and rugged, your index brushing gently against a raised scar. You had never noticed that slight imperfection on his otherwise unblemished skin, and your mind began reeling at the possibilities to why it was there.

Just another part of Midoriya you wanted to desperately learn and selfishly document for yourself.

You wrapped your hands around the thick paper of the cup , the texture rough yet warm against your fingertips.

“Can you maybe tell me how it tastes the next time you come in?” He looked down at you with a sheepish grin, his lips plump and pink as he talked, “ I’ve never made one before and I hope I didn’t make it too strong with the cinnamon,”

You took a deep breath, trying to will yourself to calm down. You internally thanked that Izuku was pretty oblivious to any type of flirting, or he would have definitely noticed you gawking at his lips.

“Definitely!” you smiled, “I’ll think you’ll be fine though, Mirko is a pretty feisty hero. There’s not enough cinnamon in the world to match her personality,”

Izuku chuckled at your comment, his hand scratching the back of his neck. “That’s very true! She definitely is one of the more spicier drinks we have...Im still experimenting with hers to make it just right,”

You nodded with his words, taking a sip of the drink as he talked. It really was filled with spice, the slight burn of the cinnamon pleasant as it rolled down your throat.

“I’ve actually been also working on a new drink as well,”

“Oh really,” your eyes widened in curiosity, “what hero is it based off of?”

A blush creeped onto his rosy cheeks yet again, his eyes downcast as he avoided your gaze.

““It’s not a hero, actually, just-it’s-kinda- special to me-since I’ve been thinking about it for some time... if that makes sense…

“I get it,” you said, your voice reassuring, “you're just really passionate about it-Im excited to try it, anything you make is amazing!”

“Oh-oh thank you!” he chuckled at your praise, unable to stop the stutters spilling from his mouth.

“I’m-I’m not quite done with it, but next time you come… I can explain it more and let you try it if you like!”

“Of course! I’d love to,” you smiled at the greenette, blood rushing to your ears as you stared at his bright complexion.

You swallowed thickly, not sure where to look as you tried to erase the flustered expression on your face.

He was too good and pure for this world-This boy could stomp on your heart and you’d say thank you.

You shakily stepped away from him, your hands clutching the drink like an anchor as you walked yourself to the door. you waved him a small goodbye, a smile gracing your lips as your eyes drank in Izuku one last time. It was a shame you only saw him for once a week, and you made sure to burn his image into your mind to satiate you for the next few days.

“Bye ‘Zuku, Ill see you next week!”

He waved back to you, a bright grin displayed on his rosy cheeks.

“Bye!”

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ

He heard the chime of the door jingle as you walked out the door, his eyes following you as you walked away from the store.

He watched you through the elongated windows of the cafe, your drink he made you in hand as he peered through the window. He did this every time you left, his neck straining as he tried to follow you, making sure you got into your car safely.

Heat rose in his cheeks, watching you walk away from him leaving a sad pit in his stomach.

He hated watching you leave, but it never stopped him from gawking at you when you go.

His breath felt tight in his chest, pure love flooding from his heart as your hair flowed delicately with your walk, his eyes trailing down to your beautiful legs-

“Hey Fanboy, you done gawking at your girlfriend,” he heard his pink skinned coworker call, her tone amused and teasing.

He jumped from where he was standing, his face erupting in red as he stumbled around his words.

“Oh-uh-hey Mina, I wasn’t doing anything I don’t know what your talking about-“

She walked around the counter, her finger pointing at him accusingly.

“Don’t lie to me mister! I know a love sick boy when I see one-and you,”

She poked her finger into his chest, her pink lemonade skin intimidatingly close to his, “are love sick.”

She threw her head back, her voice booming and bright- “You can come out Ochaco!”

The brown bob of Izuku’s other worker peaked out from the back door, her eyes wide with relief.

“Oh good! I would have felt bad if I walked in on you guys flirting-“

Izuku waved his hands frantically in front of him, his face as red as a tomato.

“We weren’t flirting I swear thatsnotwhatitwas-“

Mina laughed at the boys clear distress, her cotton candy tresses bouncing as she shook her head.

“You can’t fool us Midoriya-whenever your flustered your voice goes up like 10 octaves and you get redder than Kirishima’s hair,”

Izuku chuckled nervously as he tried to cover up his nerves as his coworker berated him. Ochaco walked over to the two, her kind aura making the air a little less thick as she looked up at Izuku with sympathy.

“It’s really sweet you like that girl so much-she seems to like you alot too,”

Mina shook her head in agreement, her canines glinting in the morning light.

“Oh definitely! Any girl that would still hang around after seeing Midoriya’s All MIght Room must be a keeper-“

“Have you gotten her number yet Midoriya?” Ochako asked, her eyes wide and curious, “Have you messaged her?”

Izuku scratched the back of his head, his eyes downcasted. He already knew the reaction he was going to get from his bubbly and sometimes feisty coworkers, and he wasn’t quite ready for their outburst.

“Oh no, well, we never exchanged numbers-“

“YOU NEVER EXCHANGED NUMBERS?!? Mina practically screamed, her yellow eyes blown huge like lemons.

“ We are in the 21st century Midoriya!” She yelled,

“Well we never quite got to-doing that-“ Izuku tried to reason, Mina clearly still flabbergasted and not impressed by his excuse

“Still-how.have.you.not. DONE THAT?!?”

Uraraka looked between the two, Mina on her tippy toes as she chewed him out, Izuku flushed with red. It was almost comical to watch, yet Uraraka felt sympathy for the poor boy who knew nothing about romance.

“Mina maybe-“ Uraraka placed a hand on the pink girl’s shoulder.

“Unbelievable!!” Mina continued, her head shaking, “I swear you live under a rock! Why haven’t you-she’s clearly into you!!”

Izuku’s eyes were like saucers, his hands shaking as he denied the girl.

“Oh no, she’s not, she can’t-were just friends, I bet she only come she only comes here for the coffee-“

Mina placed her hand on her hip, giving Ochaco a side eye look. The two girls watched the blubbering Izuku spill falsities from his lips, both quite sick of his denial

“Midoriya-,” Mina stated, her voice serious and honest, “there is no way-this girl is only ‘coming for the coffee’”

Uraraka nodded with Mina, her voice sweet like honey as she confirmed her pink friend’s words.

“You should see how she looks at you Izuku-her face lights up and her cheeks get so blushy! And whenever you talk to her her smile gets so much brighter!”

“You should see her when she looks at your behind too-“

“Mina!”

Uraraka swatted the girl playfully with her arm, earning a laugh from the pink toned girl.

“What, it’s the truth! She likes you Midoriya, she’s practically head over heels-“

Izuku listened to the two girls sheepishly, not knowing quite what to do with himself. All these weeks he had been hoping against hope you had liked him back-ever since that day he met you he felt he was destined to know you. He had never met a girl so welcoming and sweet, let alone as gorgeous as you. The fact you had accepted his quirky, nerdy side so quickly as well as were interested in his obsessions practically made his heart swoon with joy. Every week he looked forward to seeing you, counting down the minutes and seconds before he heard that welcome chime of the door announcing your arrival every Tuesday morning.

He thought about you all the time, wishing he knew what it felt like to hear your voice over the phone, to hold your hand, to see you in a pretty dress as he took you out to a nice restaurant...He was scared of rejection, and the fear you didn't like him back suffocated him, but these words from his coworkers were definitely boosting some of his confidence.

“R-really???” He stuttered, “ I-I didnt know all that…”

The two girls nodded their heads, their smiles wide as they watched their flustered coworker.

“You like her back, right?” Uraraka tilted her head, her brown strands cascading across her cheeks.

Izuku nodded his head quickly, his eyes wide and cheeks aflame.

Mina reached out, her hands latching onto Midoriya's bicep and squeezing reassuringly. “Then ask her out-Or at least get her number so the poor girl isn’t spending her money on coffee every week to just see you-“

“I-I actually was going to ask the next time she came in,”

Izuku looked to his side as the two girls gasped in awe. Uraraka let a squeal slip from her lips, her cheeks bright as ever.

“Oh Izuku that’s amazing! How were you going to ask?”

He shuffled his feet, feeling a little exposed with all the excessive attention on him. His hands began to squirm and wring together, his eyes looking to the side under his coworkers intense stares.

“Well, I-I made this new drink...and I actually made it based off of her- I’ve been writing down all the flavors she likes and doesn’t like and making a drink that’s perfect for her...,”

His coworkers were quiet-too quiet.

He looked up, a pit of fear growing in his stomach as he gazed at each of their faces, their shocked faces making him feel insecure about his plan.

“Is that-too weird??” He asked hesitantly.

The air left his chest as the two girls threw their bodies at him in a tight bear hug, their voices gushing over the boy.

“Oh Izuku that’s adorable!”

“You're such a meat head about love but thats so freaking cute!”

Ochaco and Mina were squealing, the tightness of their hug squeezing all air from his lungs. His knees locked from the sudden force, stumbling as he tried to support the two gushing girls.

“It’s was just an idea, I didn’t realize you two would like it-“ he squeaked out.

The two girls finally let go of their vice-like hug, their giggles and smiles radiating off their faces.

“We LOVE.” Mina started, her grin wide. “As women, we put our stamp of approval!”

“Really?”

“Of course! It’s honestly so adorable, I’m kinda jealous-“

As Mina was praising the blushing boy, Ochaco looked out the window, her smile slowing dropping into a tired grin.

“Uh, guys… I think we should start getting ready…”

A massive group of what seemed like 10 women in work clothing were bounding down the street, their eyes staring through the windows of the cafe as if they were already anticipating stepping inside.

Mina sighed, her face hardening as she started walking to the drink station, already prepping drink cups for the anticipated rush.

“But not as jealous as I am of that flower business that closed down last week. Get ready babes, morning rush is coming!”

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ

It was finally the next week, and you were extremely excited to see Midoriya again. Even if it was only for a few minutes, just speaking to him light up your whole day and the rest of your week. 

You wished sadly you could get to see or hear from him every day, instead of every week, but you knew the boy was too nervous still to say anything about his feelings (if he did have them towards you). You were getting antsy with each passing visit to just ask him out yourself, but you were too afraid of scaring off the flustered boy. 

You weren't very keen on just letting him go though, so you decided you’d keep up this little arrangement you two had-For as long as it would take.

You opened the glass door of the cafe, a gust of cold air sweeping your lungs and the scent of coffee enveloping your nose. You took a deep breath in, willing your heart to calm down to the calming scent.

As you did every time you came, no one was inside-Midoriya really knew when the cafe was empty. You bypassed the long line, walking yourself over to the front counter.

Midoriya seemed to not have noticed your entrance, his back towards you as he hummed to the song playing softly throughout the shop. You smiled at his adorable sounds, appreciating the broadness of his back as his green tresses cascaded against his neck.

You cleared your throat slightly, smiling softly as Midoriya turned around. He jumped slightly at your sudden entrance, a soft yelp cascading out of his lips.

“Oh hey Miru!I didn’t even notice you came in!”

He chuckled as you winced slightly at the name, quickly recovering with a sheepish smile.

“Obviously” you giggled, resting your hands on the cool countertop, “ you looked like you saw a ghost!”

You gazed into his green orbs, the color sending a warm shiver along your back. They were so vibrant, so expansive, that it was like getting lost in a forest, yet you weren’t scared in the slightest. You welcomed that lost feeling, that sense of adventure to flood your systems and calm your fluttering heartbeat. 

 If you weren’t careful though, you’d get lost in those galaxies that were his eyes, forever adrift in those irises.

He smiled at you, the apples of his cheeks prominent with freckles as he gazed down at you.

“Well it’s felt so long since I last saw you!” He exclaimed, a warm hue in his cheeks.

You smiled mischievously, tilting your head at the boy. “I hardly think 5 days is a ‘long time’,”

“Well, for me it is,” Izuku stared blissfully at your face, his voice extremely soft and gentle.

Your head exploded with happy screams and alarms, feeling the heat rush to your face. He was looking at you with those doe-like eyes, like he was basking in peace with your presence next to him.God, why did he have to be so cute?

He seemed to not even notice how his comment sounded until he noticed your change in demeanor, your cheeks and ears tinged with an intense red. Once it dawned on him he had just-well-flirted with you, he became instantly flustered.

He chuckled uncontrollably, his voice going up an octave.

“I, Uh,well I mean it’s just felt like a while and I have seen you in quite a bit of time did you get a new hair cut maybe that’s what it is-“

You giggled , shaking your head. The poor boy was a stuttering mess, his tongue melding his words into one to the point you couldn’t distinguish a thing.

It always made you feel better about your flusteredness around Midoriya-no matter how nervous you felt, Midoriya always seemed to be ten times more nervous than you.

You reached across the counter, your hand tentative as your fingers laid against his.

You internally screamed in happiness-the skin feeling so comfortable and warm against your own. Your movement seemed to hush Midoriya long enough for him to stop stuttering, his Adam’s Apple bobbing as he swallowed thickly.

His cheeks were red with heat, his eyes wide as he stared at you.

“It’s fine, really,” you grinned, “5 days feels pretty long to me too.”

You let your hand rest on Midoriyas for a few more seconds, memorizing the soft texture of his skin in your own.

 It was intoxicating, he was intoxicating, and it took everything out of you to pull yourself away.

You were now outright flirting with him, even if he wasn’t intentionally flirting with you. He was fidgeting and blushing like a schoolgirl-he clearly knew you were flirting back.

 You bite your lip in fear, hoping you didn’t scare him off.

“So, Uh, you said you had a new drink?” You said awkwardly, not quite sure how to act normally after your comment, “were you able to finish it?”

Izuku perked up, a grin gracing his face as his cheeks were still on fire.

“Oh! Yeah I did actually!” He swallowed again, his hands wringing together. “Did-did you want to try it?”

“Of course!” You beamed at the boy, your heart skipping as your eyes focused on those adorable freckles. Your hand went to your wallet, already skimming for your debit card. “How much do I-“

He instantly waved his hands in front of him, stopping your search.

“Don’t worry,” he reassured your confused expression, a timid smile in his lips. “This ones on the house,”

“Oh-okay,” you thanked the boy, earning a small nod as he began to make your drink.

Whenever he made your order, he was usually so talkative, speaking about anything and everything from hero stats to college classes. Yet, for some reason the boy was extremely quiet as he crafted your drink.

It made you feel uneasy-did you scare him? You knew Izuku was pretty flustered to any type of flirting-hell, he would blush if you simply said “Good Morning.”

Maybe you make him uncomfortable? A pit grew in your stomach at the thought, not knowing quite what to do as you watched him do his work.

But he didn’t seem that on edge, right? He didn’t push your hand away, and his smiles were still genuine. Maybe he was just worried about making the drink right-

Right?

Izuku broke your train of thought as he was now standing right next to you, his chest mere inches from yours as he stared down at you with loving eyes. His hand held your drink, the coffee the color of thick honey. His fingers were fidgeting slightly, as if his nerves were taking over as he presented it to you with a sheepish grin.

You didn’t expect him to be so close, but you weren’t regretting it at all. Your heart felt tight against your chest, blood rushing to your ears as the only thing you could focus on was Midoriya’s presence so close to yours.

You cleared your throat, trying to act casual and hide your clearly obvious shock.

“For me?” You asked thickly, wincing internally at your question. 

Of course it was for you, you were the only person in this whole cafe getting coffee! 

Sometimes Midoriya could make your brain feel like mush-and you didn’t quite enjoy it.

He seemed to not notice how silly your question sounded, his head bobbing a “yes”.

“I-I hope you like it,” he smiled sweetly, handing you the drink. 

Your hands grazed yet again, your heart palpitating as you took a sip of the drink. It was cold against your dry tongue, coating it in its sugary goodness.

Your eyes were instantly went wide like saucers once the flavor enveloped your tongue-holy shit, this was good-like liquid gold.

“Oh my god, Midoriya,” you said between gulps of the amber liquid, “this is-amazing!”

He chuckled softly at your obvious praises, his hands scratching the back of his neck.

“I was hoping you’d say that….I-“ he swallowed, his face contorted in two, as if he was battling internally with something. 

You looked up, momentarily pausing your gulps as you watched the boy with concern. He took a deep breath, his face downcasted and worried as he began to speak, his voice quiet and vulnerable.

“I-I actually based it off of you, and the flavors you like. 

All these coffees are based off of heroes, people that are extremely special to my life and have been my obsession since I was a child and even now. It’s just so strange to me though, because for as long as I could remember heroes and their work were the only thing I could ever really think of. But-but there's been something that’s been taking up my thoughts, and their the only thing I can think about-I guess you could say I have a new obsession.”

You looked up at him with shocked eyes, your lips parted as you stared at him with a thumping heart.

His voice was so soft, so gentle-as if he was pouring out all his feelings in just a few breaths.

“And what's that?” You asked hesitantly, leaning into the boy as you waited for his answer. You felt your lungs taking in less air, your nerves kicking in as you searched his face.

You watched his eyes suddenly look into yours, making your heart stop and your breath hitch in your throat. You felt yourself get fully enveloped in those green orbs, the expanse of forest caught in those irises of his. 

A gulp could be heard from Izuku, his cheeks red like cherries.

“My new obsession is-is you,” he struggled with the words, his voice timid and scared.

“I love talking to you Miru, I really do-and I was wondering if maybe-we could get lunch someday?? Without coffee involved?” He chuckled a little as he tried to lighten the mood, his eyes downcasted as he avoided your gaze.

You felt like you scream-it HAPPENED??? He was finally, finally asking you out??? You felt like you could cry and laugh at the relief flooding your body, your hands itching to wrap around his neck and kiss him from giddiness.

You restrained yourself from doing that, but the huge grin enveloping your face was hard to contain.

“I’d love to Midoriya! I’m so happy you asked, Ive been wanting to go out with you for so long now-“ you giggled nervously at your confession, your hands wrapped around your drink as you cuddled it close to your chest.

Your cheeks were suddenly enveloped in red, a  realization dawning on you, 

He still didn’t know your name-well, not your real name.

“Uh-one problem though,”

Midoriya’s eyes grew wide with concern, his lashes fluttering as he blinked.

“Oh-okay…” He replied timidly, “what is it?”

You sighed, your teeth catching your bottom lip in nervousness. How could you tell him that he had been calling you the wrong name for close to 2 months now?! Embarrassment filled your stomach, your mind internally kicking you for not correcting him a long time ago.

You cleared your throat, trying to make your tone sound nonchalant.

“Well-Miru  isn’t my name. My real name is y/n”

“Wait-what?!?” Midoriya practically shrieked, his eyes wide with bewilderment. His voice went up an octave, something you noticed he did when he was completely shocked. A small chuckle escaped your lips, his face completely comical.

“Yeah, the day we met you heard my name wrong… but I was too embarrassed to say anything, so I kinda just let you keep saying it-.”

“Oh my gosh I’m so sorry y/n I didn’t realize I was being so rude if I would have known I would have never called you that I cant believe i got your name so completely wrong-“

He was freaking out, you could tell-his whole face was red, his tongue slipping and flailing over his words as he tried to apologize profusely.

Your heart went out for the poor boy, guilt filling your stomach for not telling him sooner.

“It’s fine Izuku, really! It’s my fault I didn’t say anything! Let’s just exchange numbers and forget it all happened, Kay?”

Your hand lightly went out to touch his arm, your fingers laying lightly on his shirt sleeve as you smiled at him sweetly. That seemed to calm him down, the speed of apologies finally stopping against his lips.

“Oh-okay sure!” He returned your smile, his eyes bright and loving.

 “ Ya know, I like y/n better…”

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ

Bonus:

“You idiot!” Mina shrieked, her hand flailing a spoon at him like a weapon. “You got her name wrong! How do you even do that!”

Izuku stuttered, unable to figure out how to calm down the fiery girl in her angry rant.

“It-it was a mistake, it was loud and I heard it wrong-“

Mina huffed, her yellow eyes piercing as she flung the spoon around again, Midoriya dodging it as she continued to scold him.

“You are lucky- she is one of the nicest girls you will ever meet! If you did that to any girl they’d drop your ass like a dead fly!”

“Mina I-“

Mina then pointed the spoon right at his face, his eyes going cross eyed as he stared at the curve of the utensil with fear. His hands went up as against his body, his palms out in a sign of peace as Mina leaned herself aggressively towards him.

“Don’t you dare mess this up Izuku Midoriya! She is the best thing you will ever find!”

Taggings:

@weebartistinc​ @orokayagi​ @leeeah-loooser​ @bakarinnie​ 

[ufonaut]

Hey, thank you for posting this compilation of batjokes moments. I like your blog a lot 💜

I know you dont follow this b*c*t run. But I wanted to ask if you know the reason Selina murdered Joker, because it doesnt seem like revenge for the death of Andrea Beaumont's son (I mean, Selina and he were friends, its not clear why she allied with phantasm for a revenge that wasnt even hers).

It must seem like a dumb question, and ill understand if you dont want to answer.

i do read tom's bat/cat? which should be pretty damn obvious from the fact that ive posted panels throughout the whole thing & from the special? im not in the batman fandom, ive never posted a single panel from something i haven't read and i never will.

among everything else it is (namely a character study of selina), bat/cat is also a reverse murder mystery -- we know who and how, we're only just getting to the why. there are literally endless reasons to murder joker but we do now know from issue #10 that sparing his life is the only thing bruce ever asked of selina so of course it stands to reason that she kept her word right up until bruces own death and then finally accomplished what she's always wanted, for the rest of it we're both gonna have to keep reading as there are two issues left.

im sorry to be harsh though but i remember this kinda ask very clearly from the days of bat 2016 (oh why did [x] do [whatever]? oh what does [obvious thing] mean?) and i won't be entertaining any bat analysis because 99% of fans are somehow unable to read the comic for themselves

[newtedison]

my thoughts on the crank palace

i touched about this a bit on twitter (@newtedison_) but i figured i would Try and touch on my points more here (spoilers obv) again, its sort of lengthy

1. im gonna start with talking about the ending because i need to get it out of the way. either i havent read the books in a while and i forgot some canon (which could very well be true, i literally forgot that Bliss was a thing) or this ending makes no sense and is (somehow) setting up for a tdc sequel? so first off, newt was shot in the Head with a Bullet and somehow didnt immediately die? i know that that can happen in real life but it just seems so unlikely that not only would he not die, but he would survive long enough for someone from WCKD to transport him back to their labs and try to revive him. and who the fuck was he talking to? did thomas get newt’s journal at some point and i just dont remember? like i said, either im forgetting stuff or this ending doesnt make sense and is setting up a sequel which...i’ll get to later

2. why was this written? like, what was the point? i understand that this wasnt going to be all sunshine and rainbows but i feel like i was reading torture porn. like, literally all that happens is newt gets tortured (which is described in detail) by WCKD soldiers, has bouts of insane-fueled rage where he KILLS MULTIPLE PEOPLE, and then he dies. ??? what did this contribute to the canon? what was this trying to accomplish? truthfully, i never really wanted a newt-POV...well, anything except for maybe those little nuggets he wrote some time ago. but even if i HAD wanted a newt-POV novella, this is not what i would have wanted. he KNOWS that newt is almost universally the most loved character in this franchise. you can tell because he constantly uses him as a way to get fans in his good graces again. so why on earth would he take that character that so many people love and write a novella where its torture porn and a descent into madness before death? i am not interested in that At All. i’ve read fics (and even written a drabble) where newt is a Crank, and those were more respectful and easier to read than tcp. the parts where newt is having bouts of the Flare were literally exhausting to read; it was described in such vivid and torturous detail that it made me sick reading it. and it didnt help that newt is a character i care a lot about. i didn’t need to know what becoming a Crank felt like. the way it was described in the other books (and even the movies) told me everything i needed to know. the way thomas and everyone found newt at the crank palace in tdc and hes described as obviously not well, but not knowing what exactly happened to him...thats good enough on its own. the mystery of what exactly newt had to endure is part of what gives his journey more emotional depth. not everything needs to be written out and explained. not every gap needs to be filled in. 

3. me saying “the characterization felt off” is going to make some people roll their eyes because ‘duh, sami, the characterization will be off because he’s going insane’ to which i say...exactly. we weren’t really reading a newt-POV novella, were we? even if he isn’t past the Gone in the beginning, hes clearly not the same person we knew him as. the whole novella felt like an uncanny valley situation; i knew i was supposed to be reading about newt, but it felt like i was reading about someone else who looked like him. and that is part of what made this such a disconnect and made me lose interest at parts. not only that, but the world building and lore is inconsistent. newt makes a comment about how it used to rain in the glade, and apparently (as ive been told) that is simply not true. keisha having somehow working cell phone that magically connects her to her family also doesnt make sense. how would they have each others’ numbers? what are the odds that they BOTH found working cell phones in an apocalypse? i get that its a novella but you cant just throw something that crazy in there as a plot convenience. actually work on your plot and world building in a cohesive way, please. and another thing that doesnt make sense...

4. ...is newt finding out that sonya is his sister. if there was anything i would have wanted from a newt-pov novella, it would have been this. him finding out that not only is sonya his sister, but he already knows her post-WCKD. something that would have made this novella actually captivating, contributing something worthwhile to the canon that i would actually want to read, is if newt found out while in the crank palace that sonya was his sister; the Flare would remove that part of the Slice in his brain, and he would realize it was her. then, knowing that he couldnt go past the Gone before seeing her, he would try to find a way to get back to her. he could learn this after thomas and everyone originally see him, so it could match up with the canon. and then, by the time 250 comes along, hes lost all hope of that actually happening, and lashes out to thomas in a fit of rage. the journey of him trying to find his ACTUAL sister would have meant more to me than the story of keisha and dante. trust me, i love a found family trope as much as the next girl. but this series is FULL of the found family trope. it pretty much is the backbone of the franchise. so to see a blood family dynamic would have been a refreshing change of pace that i actually would have been interested in reading. also, the way that newt DOES find out about sonya is...underwhelming. he just randomly says “you remind me of my sister, sonya” to keisha in the WCKD truck. first of all, sonya is not the name you would actually know her by. you would know her by her birth name (which is lizzy? elizabeth?). second, why does he act like he didnt already meet her in the series? when the WCKD doctor tells him sonya is his sister and is alive, hes so surprised. wouldn’t he have known that already? why is there not more emphasis on the fact he already met her? that would have been a really interesting dynamic to explore, and im sad they didnt

5. the pacing and dialogue of tcp is so dragged out. i remember specifically there was a section where newt goes to talk to keisha after she starts abandoning dante, and i swear to god there was a page and a half of text before anything ACTUALLY happened or anyone ACTUALLY said anything. dashner described a launcher at one point as “the energy dependent electric firing projectile device.” that’s SIX words to describe a stun gun. a fucking stun gun! we know what it is! why did you have to use six words??? it just felt like everything was dragged and stretched to the longest it could possibly be and it added to the exhaustion i felt while reading it

6. okay i cant end it without talking about newtmas. its very obvious by now that newtmas is a VERY large part of this fanbase. its clearly the most popular ship and what keeps a lot of people interested in this series. even the marketing team for the MOVIES used newtmas as a advertising tactic (i.e.; using thomas and newt standing face to face as a thumbnail for the trailer, emphasizing newtmas based questions in interviews, even making a fucking facebook memories video for them. yes that last one is real). not only does dashner use newt as a way to lure fans in; he also uses newtmas. the parts that were sprinkled into this were so obvious that it didnt feel authentic. i cant speak for the original trilogy; i dont know the culture around ships back then, and i dont know how much it influenced his writing at the time. but the scenes in those books felt more genuine than tcp. by genuine i mean; he wrote scenes without a relationship in mind, but the chemistry had noticeable subtext that, while unintentional, was largely agreed upon by the larger audience. the parts of newtmas he added into tcp felt artificial and forced, likely as a way for people to take snippets of and use as a free marketing tool for him. one example you might have already seen; “he had already gotten used to his post-thomas, post-WCKD life.” the fact that dashner SPECIFICALLY used the phrase “post-thomas” rather than “post-his friends” or something similar shows that he is using newtmas as a hook on purpose. not only that, but to make newt’s last thoughts as he died “tommy. tommy will understand...” is...wow. first of all, i never wanted to know what newt’s dying thoughts were, but thanks, i guess? and second, when we all initially thought newt died underneath thomas with a gun to his head, i was pretty much inferred that newts last thoughts would probably be about thomas; they would sort of have to be, given the circumstances. so adding that in gives me the same feeling that “i’m coming for you, newt” at the end of the fever code gave me. not as offensive, but written very much on purpose. and the ending is implying that there will somehow be a sequel where thomas gets newt’s journal from...someone. at this point, i can only think that this sequel will retroactively make newtmas canon somehow. now that newt has been confirmed as gay, it could happen. which brings me to my last point...

7. hearing dashner confirm newt is gay was already mind-boggling before. now that i’ve read the crank palace...im angry. im very angry. i think its safe to say that newt is the character that suffers the most in this series. you can argue with me but hes definitely high on the list, if not #1. so; you take this character. you give him a horribly sad arc in the original trilogy, then decide to expand upon it and tell us, your largely QUEER fanbase, exactly how painful and torturous his last days were, in detail. and then you tell us he’s gay. something that is never mentioned in the canon, only in an offhanded reply to a tweet of someone calling you out. on a base level, i can understand why people would be happy. representation (i guess), seeing themselves in the character, having their headcanons be confirmed. great. but what i see is you telling your largely queer fanbase “hey, you see the only confirmed gay character? im going to literally write torture porn about him before killing him off and offer it to you like im providing a service to your community.” how fucked up is that? “hey, kids, if youre gay, you WILL be violently tortured and become violent and a danger to the ones you love. then you will die and your love will never be reciprocated.” what a message! and if he DOES end up retroactively making newtmas “canon” in some weird sequel...i will start foaming at the mouth. THIS is an example of how not all queer representation is good or genuine.

i’ve definitely forgotten some points but this is long enough already. let me know if you agree or if theres anything else you want to add! im interested in what you guys think

(8. I JUST REMEMBERED!!! if WCKD needed to study newt so bad bc sonya is his sister and is immune while he isnt, why did they let him run around the crank palace in the first place??? you cant test his vitals or anything you’re literally just watching him. what is the point????)

[silent-mysteriousguy]

I saw another post on @postalninja doing this meme, thought i would join in on the fun!

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

10 and counting! 9 for octopath traveler (not counting the one disowned fic) and 1 for the Grishaverse

2) What's your total AO3 word count?

37 702

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

As anyone who ever spared even a glance at my tumblr account knows, I love Octopath. Its my comfort game and is definetly one of my favourite games of all time. On the other hand, the grishaverse fic was a contest fic. I love that book a lot as well but it never came close to my damned love for that game

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

About women’s problems, lack of sleep and bluntness: Oh, that lil thing. It was my first fanfic I had written in years! It doesnt have the best writing but it does have a special place in ma heart

A Diary’s Importance: My ongoing longfic. Its as of date not completed, but its going somewhere eh! Luckily finally got a beta, so progress is there folks. But alas, currently on vacay so writing is out of the question.

Why phones and the 8 travelers should not be combined: A silly textfic I wrote to get myself out of writersblock. Believe me, I thirst for textfics I NEED MORE.

Sharp, stabby things: Well, if it wasnt obvious enough, im halfblind. Meaning I am actually unable to see shit from my right eye. So sense of depth does not exist. So when I discovered Therion would likely have the same struggles with his right eye I decided that damnit I was going to write something about it because the struggles of being halfblind are real folks.

About the practicallity of not being a caster: A little fic I always wanted to do of what a conversation between Cyrus, who got so many magic spells its practicallity his only thing, and Olberic, who got no magic at all, about magic would look like.

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Fuck yeah I do! I love comment so so much. They give me motivation to write and shut the inner Bruno up (if ya get the meaning)

6) What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Hmmm, hard one here. Most of the angst in my fic is very much in the middle with the end being happier as I sadly do have a soul. But, my vote goes to a friends betrayal. The fic was basically about Olberics thoughtprocess after the fall of hornburg and what lead him to his situation in beginning of the game. As you can guess, it is very angsty.

7) What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

Many! But, the vote goes to my beloved sharp stabby things. But that can just be my seretonin brain.

8) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you've written?

Not yet… (but i have an idea)

9) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Some passive agressive comments, but not really hate.

10) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Nope. Huns, I am ace as fuck i cant even read it.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know.

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

as a polyglot I could do a fine I will do it myself moment, but i havent.

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not as off today, but I am open to the idea of it.

14) What's your all time favourite ship?

Oh boy thats such a tough question. On one hand, gimli x legolas from LOTR will always have a special place in my heart as it was the ship that actually got me into fandom culture. But… if you spared a glance at my ao3 account you know my love for Cyrus and Olberic. I mean my two comfort characters in a relationship? Thats the stuff man thats the good stuff.

15) What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

STUPID A LEGAL DISPUTE. I LOVE THE IDEA OF IT BUT THE WORDS MAN THE WORDS.

16) What are your writing strengths?

I think it would be describing emotions and thoughtprocesses.

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

Grammar, no doubt. I mean its not that 9 year old bad but my use of commas is through the damned roof.

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Ahum, as someone who has multiple conlanguages and is a polyglot I adore them. Just wait yall asses till i get a solid idea of what acient hornburgian sounds like and its over for yall. IT WILL BE IN DIARYS IMPORTANCE OR I DONT DESERVE MY SCRIVINER.

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Suprisingly, it was Percy Jackson. A Solangelo fic to be precise. Oh i cringe at it every time I see it.

20) What's your favourite fic you've written?

Brand’s Thunder,  no doubts about it. It was the transition to my longer fics and I impressed myself with my own writing which was new.

[flowerslightning]

Have you heard about PFA and MFA?

or the full name is ‘Psychological First Aid’ (PFA) and ‘Mental Health First Aid’ (MFA)

Can we relate it with Cloud Strife? As we all know, Cloud had mental illness and was struggling alone. Let’s take a quick look on this topic then and see if characters in FF7 ever give PFA/MFA to Cloud or to each other. This is going to be a looooong post although I tried to simplified it, so, yeah. Good luck reading this !

Disclaimer : I’m not a psychologist. I’m still a student and psych is not my major field. During my intern, other than we got exposed a lot about psychiatric disorders and ways to deal with them, we also got trained psychological first aid in emergency department. If it wasnt because of this quarantine, i would have finished my training in emergency field. There might be false interpretation here or there, forgive me for that and pls correct any mistake in this post

This will probably trigger LTD. Sorry, but I had to, Pls read this post with open mind. Keep in mind I like both Tifa and Aerith, i have no grudges agaisnt Barret, Vincent, Nanaki or Cid so I am not being bias with any of them. I forgot a lot of stuff in OG (I played it when I was really really small), so I will be using lots FF7R and AC references here (and a bit from OG, depends whatever I remember)

Good to go? Allow me to rant. Read it slowly and if u skip some of it, u’ll probably mislead my actual words, and u’ll be triggered af. Don’t come at me with madness if u dont read the whole post properly

What is PFA and MFA? Generally speaking, if Basic First Aid is about covering the wound to prevent further bleeding, then PFA (Psychological First Aid) and MFA (Mental Health First Aid) is like applying a bandage on ur mental to avoid u continue being distress. 

Usually, PFA is often associated with disaster event or terrorism, where large number of people got affected. Meanwhile, MFA focus in one person who is developing mental health prob or already in mental crisis due to certain traumas, such as vehicle accident, house burned and etc

 Pls note that, certain people NEED MFA while the others may NOT NEED it. It is important to respect their needs/wants. Some victims may refuse verbally but they ACTUALLY NEED it (CLOUD STRIFE) and maybe some victims look like they dont need it, but they want it, and its super fine to give it

PFA/MFA not only done by the professionals and it is not a professional counselling, although necessarily training is needed if u want to approach deeper in this field. PFA/MFA is also not a psychological ‘debriefing’ - in which MFA/PFA doesnt need to involve a detailed discussion of the trauma event with the victim, but instead, it is an alternative way to psychological debriefing that helps for long-term recovery. (unless if ure a pscyhiatrist, then u have to forget about MFA and ask detailed questions regarding the events to help the patient to recover)

MFA and PFA both almost the same, but I will mention more about MFA here.

MFA (Mental Health First Aid) is not just about comforting “Oh, are u alright. I’m sorry for what u’ve been through”, but it is also about assessing their needs and concerns, protecting them from harm, provide practical support and support them feeling able to help themselves and others.

The main key for these two term is RESPECT - respect victim’s dignity, respect both parties safety and respect victim’s rights to make decision. Even without the PFA, we should respect these three in whatever circumstance we are in. 

A lot of us honestly were born with natural skill of MFA bcause of our own empathy, instinct or experiences and some got trained professionally. Some of them already had MFA due to high common senses they have.  

Some of the Do’s and Dont’s when giving MFA include;

Do’s : 1. Be trustworthy | 2. Respect their decision | 3. Be aware of and set aside ur bias | 4. Make it clear to them u are available for help even they push u away | 5. Respect their privacy and personal space | 6. Do remain calm and soft when the person in distress | 7. Listen and don’t interrupt their talking | 8. Help in terms of basic needs | 9. Create connection the person with others | 10. Give hope to them | 11. Provide private place to talk about the event | 12. Respect their strenght | 13. Advice small necessary matters or give simple words of encouragement | 14. Acknowledge positive features of what victims have done

Dont’s : 1. Rush in whatever the thing theyre doing with u | 2. Be dismissive | 3. Make promises u know can’t keep | 3. Ask anything in return for helping them | 4. Exaggerate ur skills | 5. Force help on people, being pushy | 6. Pressure them to tell their story | 7. Judge that person | 8. Put the person in risk of harm as result of ur actions | 8. Force them to accept ur idea/Listening to ur rant | 9. Talk rough | 10. Being bias with the people | 11. Touching that person too much | 12. Talk with the person in negative terms | 13. Abandon the person’s feeling

To simplify, there are 3 ways for MFA to begin, and I will only talk about one of them, the one that is the hardest to do, that is when u notice someone looks distressed and ure concern about them, and leading u to approach them first without them noticing ur concern. [Am I putting the right words here?]

In Cloud’s case, who do u think the first noticed Cloud behaved oddly and went to help him first ? - yeah Tifa. U probably would say “OFC she went to help him, she met him first at the train station. That guy looked sick af, who wouldnt ask if he was alright. If Aerith/Yuffie/Jessie met him first, they would do the same”. Okay guys, that was not my point. 

Let’s focus one by one characters and see what Do’s and Dont’s MFA (Mental Health First Aid) they’ve done to Cloud and other charas. Keep in mind, none of them know what Cloud had gone through, but Cloud had showed some obvious sign he was unwell and only a few of them noticed that and took action for it. 

The symbol [X] means the Dont’s in MFA and ( ✔) means the Do’s in MFA.

Biggs Jessie Wedge -

I know there’s a thing about man helping man’s psychology and Jessie being flirty with a guy.They [X] thought Cloud was like how they saw Cloud. and they considered it as normal. They didnt see Cloud under distress so they dont have the need to concern his mental status. The good thing about them was, the three of them (✔) respect Cloud’s strenght, giving Cloud the confident to be in action. But, Jessie [X] had zero respect on Cloud’s personal space

I wanna highlight about Biggs. Biggs had an attitude of overthinking stuff, but it wasnt so bad that would cause him harm, he just cared too much about his friends. So I believe Biggs was the type that would notice immediately when his friend being strange and would give MFA (Mental Health First Aid) with his own instinct even without the person asking it.

During the Sector 7 Plate attack, where Biggs was severely injured, when Cloud said he was not a fan of kids and Biggs said Cloud had so much in common (in common of what? Cloud with the kids or Cloud with him?), Cloud gave him ‘a sad look’ and Biggs reached out his hand to Cloud’s head. Biggs (✔) remain calm and soft when dealing with Cloud’s feeling (who faced traumatic event but Biggs didnt know about it) on that moment despite his current physical status. And also he (✔) wished goodluck to Cloud, leading to prevention distress on Cloud

Marle -

Marle [X] judged Cloud for someone who had no skills, but she entrusted Cloud to take care of Tifa’s well being. Not knowing who Cloud was, Marle noticed Cloud looked glum, she (✔) offered her ear for Cloud to rant and knew right away he was not having enough sleep, then (✔) advising him to sleep more . Lol, she was [X] biased with Cloud and Tifa. Not her fault, she only knew Tifa’s story, not Cloud’s. After the Sector 7 plate fall, we saw her being the most active member to help with the remaining citizens there. Marle without a doubt had given the citizens there PFA (Psychological First Aid) , by helping them with their (✔) basic needs, (✔) create connections, (✔) put away bias, (✔) remain calm and soft. 

Barret Wallace -

Barret was the same like Biggs Jessie Wedge. I’m sure Barret thought Cloud was just fine. Barret saw Cloud as a mercenary with stinky attitude,[X] judging him like that causing Barret to gave him the same attitude too. But overall, he (✔) respected Cloud’s strength a lot

However, after the Sector 7 plate fall, Tifa and Barret were the one that hurt (mentally) the most, Tifa as usual locking her emotions, there we could see how Barret comforting Tifa by (✔) giving words of encouragement and proceed on (✔) hugging her to show his empathy. Barret also (✔) remain calm and soft spoken when talking to the survival victims of Sector 7 citizens. He also (✔) acknowledged what the citizens had done to survive

Vincent Valentine - 

Don’t be surprise Vincent was listed here. This guy here was like another version of Cloud but more mature. In addiction, they both kinda share the same pain. So, I personally think Vincent understands Cloud pretty well. In AC, where Cloud was mentally ill, Vincent saved Cloud from Kadaj and brothers and (✔) took him to safer place. That was a common thing to do. But let’s go deeper, Cloud never told him about himself, but Vincent already  (✔) aware of Cloud’s trouble with the geostigma stuff and Cloud’s current mental status. Vincent, (✔) calm and soft like always (✔) didnt hesitate to asked if all of these were just about ‘fighting’ and it made Cloud to ‘re-think’ further about his problem. He (✔) didnt pressure Cloud here, instead he was (✔) helping Cloud to understand the condition he was facing, and this lead Cloud to avoid distress.

Aerith Gainsborough -

I know Aerith was special. She was an important character and devs created her to be ‘loved’ by the fans so that her death would be tragic. Aerith did almost all the things that shouldnt be done when giving MFA to mentally ill person. Some of u may say “Duh, Aerith didnt know anything about Cloud thus she had no intentions of giving him MFA”. Yup, ure right. Aerith didnt know about Cloud’s mental status but so as all the other characters in the series. 

Aerith was [X] being pushy with Cloud, in lots of ways, from making him as a bodyguard for free to forcing him to wear a dress. She [X] forced Cloud to accept her idea about meeting Andrea, dance and gown. She also [X] forced Cloud to help picking the flowers. Aerith [X] didn’t let Cloud to have his own decision [X] neither giving him a chance to talk,  and [X] abandon his feelings (cough..uhm, Aerith resolution). She also had [X] no respect on Cloud’s personal space and [X] too much touching and leaning to him. Aerith also [X] put herself in danger and that worried Cloud.  She [X] looked down on Cloud in someways too

However, at the Sector 5 slum, where the hooded man appeared, Aerith noticed Cloud was having trouble with himself, she (✔) encouraged Cloud to keep himself together. Also, throughout the entire game, Aerith always remind the team to (✔) have hope in everything. Her positive vibrant attitude was what (✔) made everyone able to believe in themselves. She also (✔) ensure Marlene’s safety and protected her. She was able to (✔) remain soft and calm when approaching Marlene. Remember Betty? Aerith took her time to helped her out and she even (✔) respected the little girl’s strength, (✔)slow and steady when saving her and (✔)soft spoken

Tifa Lockhart -

Tifa met Cloud at the train station, saw him being ‘not-so-fine’ state despite Cloud claiming he was completely okay. Tifa didn’t know what Cloud had gone through and  she (✔) didn’t pressure him to talk about it. She even helped him to (✔) find a place to sleep even when Cloud never asked for it. Tifa unconsciously was the first person to give Cloud MFA without knowing what Cloud had faced previously. And Cloud, on that moment, he really needed a help. Tifa also (✔) stated that if Cloud need anything, she would help him with it

Tifa (✔) remain calm everytime Cloud had sudden headache, she didn’t leave him alone and (✔) didnt put any pressure on him by asking question. During the (✔) Alone At Last, they had privacy Tifa asked about what happened after he left Nibelheim. She (✔) listened and didnt interrupt him, (✔) neither pushing him to talk more. Moreover, Tifa (✔) put a distance with Cloud, dunno if she was the one who was being uncomfortable or she actually (✔) respect Cloud’s personal space and privacy. Tifa (✔) didn’t force him to stay at Midgar, she asked him and was glad Cloud would stay for a while. Tifa was no doubt (✔) respect all Cloud’s decisions too. Also, don’t forget, Tifa also helped Cloud to help (✔) make ‘close connection’ with the Avalanche members and people in Sector 7 slums. She also (✔) didn’t do much touching with Cloud (Well, I mean, she didnt touch him in clingy way)

In AC, Tifa (✔) encouraged Cloud to have hope for Geostigma and the family

Tifa did [X] put herself in danger by becoming Corneos bride participant and that gave Cloud trouble (but Tifa ensured him she would be fine on her own previously) And btw, in OG, I read about the fans questioning why Tifa [X] didnt tell Cloud the truth. I would like to argue this matter. TIFA IS A CHARACTER WITH REAL HUMAN FLAWS, she too had her own traumatic event and was not really sure of herself on what to do. However, considering what Tifa had done for him, Tifa had helped with Cloud’s psychology the most.

I know Cloud was putting up a font, and that made him to have condescending attitude, and people couldnt see what Cloud was hiding behind the the bravery face. However, all of us as fans acknowledged the pain Cloud was suffering in the entire FF7 story. Some of the characters like Tifa, Marle, Vincent, Biggs noticed it and they took actions for it, while others, I do personally thing, they were hurting the Real Cloud’s mentality more. 

Long story short, Tifa was the one who gave mental health support the most to Cloud, followed by Vincent (AC), Biggs and Marle. Aerith did the worst with Real Cloud's mentality + she then died, mking Cloud be more miserable,

However, Aerith actually had the best way to give MFA/PFA to children, but maybe the worst to Cloud. While Tifa gave the best MFA to Cloud which helped him to get himself together through out the entire time

Alright thats the end of my talk. Thank you for being with meee

[ma-lark-ey]

Nick Close had never been a very fantastic child. That much was very obvious. Granted, most of the dumb and illegal shit they did was for their fathers attention (however rarely that option actually worked), but it was still dumb and illegal shit.

Tonight was not one of those dumb and illegal nights, however; tonight was still a night Glenn Close could never find out about. Nick prayed he'd never find out about.

Nick had always been closed off from their father. How couldn't they be? When they were little, it was always Nick and Momma at home, while Daddy was on tour or doing shows. Glenn only started being home once in awhile when Mom died. And yes, Nick calls him Glenn. Glenn was never... He was never 'Dad.'

And this, this was certainly one of the things Nick kept tightly closed off from their father. That thing being one of the biggest secrets Nick may ever keep; their gender.

Nick didn't *mind* to be a 'he,' don't get them wrong. Some days, they really enjoyed being a 'he.' But today? Today... Nick was a she. And she couldn't deny that. Some days she felt so fucking confident in her body, like she could throw on a baggy t-shirt and slightly too-big pants with a beanie and fight god. Others, her body felt like someone else's and she wanted to rip her skin off and start over. Dress like those beautiful alternative women she saw on TikTok. With the demonias, fishnets, skirts, ripped up shirts, messy hair. God, some days she didn't know if she wanted to be them, or be with them.

Tonight, she definitely wanted to be them.

She had done up her makeup in the most extravagant way she knew how, eyeliner to the gods. Fishnets under a faux-leather, checkered print pencil skirt she found thrifting with Grant a few days ago. She had one a torn up old t-shirt she'd cut into a croptop and not to mention her Docs. She felt like she could fight god with her chain belts and dramatic jewelry.

Nick knows Glenn would never care if he knew his 'son' sometimes felt more like his daughter, but she wasn't ready to give him that kind of trust. Grant? Grant got that kind of trust. Henry got that kind of trust. The twins got that kind of trust. But not Glenn. Glenn hasn't proved he'd deserved that yet.

And maybe Nick didn't want to take the time to explain why Grant sometimes called her Nickie beyond "Its just a nickname, Glenn."

And she was okay with that. She knew that she wasn't ready. Maybe she'd never be 'ready,' and Glenn wasnt in her life enough for it to matter.

...

Why'd the front door just open? Why is Nick hearing a car lock? Why is the front door opening? Glenn's not supposed to be home from tour until tomorrow. And here Nick is, in the living room. Looking like a pretty well passing woman. She had learned plenty of tricks over her last two years of presenting feminine some days. The lanky, stickman build the had was the one thing Glenn had given to her that she was thankful for.

But the genetics of Glenn Close that were gifted to his child were not the problem at hand. The problem at hand is that *Glenn's home.*

Glenn's home. Glenn's home, and Nick is not in her Glenn Mode. She's vulnerable. Vulnerable to a lot of questions she doesn't want to answer tonight. Doesn't want to have to explain where all this women's clothing came from, nor why she's dressed as one. It can't pass as drag, but she's obviously not in drag makeup. Fuck. Fuck it all. Fuck her life and her shitty decision making skills. Fuck Glenn for never communicating his plans. And fuck the stunned way he's staring at her now.

The awkwardness of the room was palpable at this point. Nick felt like a deer in headlights. Nick felt like melting into the floor and disappearing from the world. Nick felt like her whole world was about to collapse in on itself. What if Glenn hated her, what if he didn't want her to act like this or be this person, what if-

"Well, don't you look nice. Got a date or something, kid?"

Thats... That's not what Glenn was supposed to say. That's not what he's supposed to say! He's supposed to be upset or revolted or-

"I- I uh..." No. No don't cry. Fuck. Why are you crying, Nicholas? Nicole? Fuck what even if your name right now?

Glenn's here. It should be Nicholas. That's your name when you're a boy. But its a girl day. You want to be Nicole today. Glenn is here, and you're Nicole right now. And Glenn is here. And you're Nicole. And Glenn-

She heard a bag drop on the ground and footsteps come toward her. She stepped back and tried hide behind her arms. No words. She can't speak.

Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Oh fuck.

She remembers the time she went to school in feminine clothes and a couple of guys almost jumped her, before Lark pulled a knife on them and got them both suspended.

Hands grab onto her shoulders, a gentle hold. She can feel the calluses on Glenn's fingers from his guitar. When was the last time he held her?

Her knees feel like jello. She remembers when she started posting on her second TikTok, open about her gender and pronouns because she didn't have to keep up a cisgender face when her dad didn't have the account. And how transphobes sent her deaththreats until she blocked all those words from her comments and the DMs got disabled.

She's a few inches taller than Glenn in her platform Docs. Which she realizes when he pulls her into a gentle hug. She feels makeup running on her face. And she's crying. Why is she crying?

She remembers being ten years old standing at moms grave, standing next to Glenn. Just after the burial. It was the first time she'd seen him cry.

Her chin's on his shoulder now, his arms around her upper torso and holding her against him. She realizes she's shaking. That he's just holding her. He's holding her. Daddy's home.. He's giving her a hug...

She remembers the last time Glenn had hugged her. At Mom's funeral. She was sobbing at her grave, and so was Dad. He pulled her into him and held her so tight. So tight she thought he'd crush her. But he just held, like she was the entire world. Like if he let go he'd loose her to. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, hid her face in the mix of long hair and his suit jacket. He felt like her whole world in that moment, too.

Nickie brings herself back to what's happening. Glenn's holding her, her arms are awkward resting on his back, He's clutching her by the shoulders. She remembers these hugs. The hugs that he used to give her every time he left and came home. The ones he gives where every second of it is embued with love. It felt like that now.

She could tell he loved her. But those words felt like lies in her head.

Lies. Lies. Lies. So many lies. So so many lies.

"I'll be home by nine, Nick." It was a lie, Glenn didn't come home for three more days. "I promise I'll be home on your birthday." He wasn't. "I'll be there." He wasn't. "I'll make it, promise." He didn't. Everytime. Everytime, where Glenn shouldve been, it was Mom. And when Mom died, it was Henry. Or Ron. Or Darryl.

But he's here. Right now. And he's holding her. It doesn't make it okay, it doesn't excuse it. But he's holding her. Her knees go weak, and she crumbles. He crumbles with her.

She sobs, he doesn't force her to say anything. She doesn't return his hug, he doesn't expect her to.

"You're supposed to be mad." Nick mumbled after she doesnt remember how long. Glenn gives a light chuckle and adjusts his grip on her.

"And why would I be?" He asked, not protesting as Nick shoved him off and shuffled back a few inches. It felt weird to be so close to him after sixteens years of so much distance.

"Why wouldn't you be?" She spat, crossing her arms and staring at the ground. "Nick's fucked up again. That's my whole brand! Being a total and absolute fuck up! The disappointment! The druggy, the- the... The mistake." She felt more hot tears behind her eyes. She could feel Glenn staring at her in concern.

"Nick, you are not a fuck up. Or a mistake. Or whatever else. Nick, you're my baby, and I-"

"Then why did you leave? If you're gonna pull that bullshit, and say you love me no matter what, and that I'm your little girl, and that- that you wanted me from the very beginning and wouldn't give me up, why did you leave? Why dont you care now? When you come home, and woopsie! Your son's dressed up like some goth chicken. Why are you acting like everythings fine!? Everything is NOT fine, Glenn!" She hit the floor with her hands and growled in frustration. It wasn't fine.

Glenn stared down and took a deep breath. Then he sighed. "Yeah, I can't blame you on that one, kiddo. Alright, full disclosure, Nick. I already- I knew. I knew about the pronouns, and the name. I knew. Henry told me."

"H- Henry... Did what?"

"He told me. Soon as you told him. He called me that night, let me know what you had said. We have a rule in our group, we've had the rules since Grant came out. If one of the kids comes out as anything, you tell the other dads. Especially if its a name and pronouns thing. Cause, we agreed that since well, we were all kind of one bug cluster fuck of parents to each others kids, it was better if everyone knew who was what. So we didn't fuck it up."

"So you have a rule to out kids to their parents? That's-"

"No! Not any kids. Its just you, Terry, Grant, and the twins. Just you five. Because, here's the thing, Nick- Nickie? Whatever. Us dads? We arent- we're new to the whole queer scene. Its not as normal for us to just fliparoo what pronouns and names we call people as it is for you guys. So, we would practice to each other. When you told Henry you liked being called Nickie, he came to us and essentially said, 'I'm gonna say Nickie to you guys as often as i fucking can do I don't end up deadnaming.' "

Glenn took Nick's hand into his and held it tight. Nick still felt like punching Henry in the fucking face for outting her to Glenn.

"You know that I love you, Nick." Her body went rigid at that. And she looked uo at him, glaring as hard as should mister with how fucking teary eyed she was.

"Do I? Do I know that you love me, Glenn?" And his face fell. It was like she just sucked his soul out of him. Good. That should be one hell of a wake up call.

"Nick, of course I love you. What would ever make you think I didn't love you?" Nick but her lip, thinking over her words before she said them. She thought on a lot of things.

"You left. My mom died, and you left. My *mother* was dead and you went back to touring in a matter of weeks. My mother was dead, and I was ten years old. And I was home, by myself, for weeks. Glenn, I was alone for months. Sure, there the nanny. But that wasn't Mom or Dad. I needed my parents. I needed my dad. I needed my dad to give me a hug, promise me it'd be okay. That we were okay. And he fucking left. He walked out that door, didn't come back for months, only called every three weeks. Missed birthdays, holidays, soccer games, and whatever the fuck else. Why on gods green earth would I think that you loved me when you fucking abandoned me, Glenn? Why? Would you think I loved you if I fucked off to god knows where after being home for just a couple days? Huh? If when I found out you'd been up in drug city with your mates and getting caught by cops doing a bunch of stupid shit, all you got was a slap on the wrist and a phonecall that last three minutes?"

Glenn stared at the ground for a long time. He didn't speak. And he pulled her back into a hug, practically dragged her across that distance to hold her again. Hold her like the whole world depended on Glenn never letting go again. Like if he let go everything would come crashing down, like Nick was the entire fucking world and he just wanted to protect her. He held her like he had when Mom died.

"God, Morgan... He's just like you." He mumbled, clutching Nick so tight she couldn't breath. She didn't care he used the wrong pronouns, she didn't care he'd barely even addressed the elephant in the room, she didn't care her heel was digging painfully into the back of her other leg. Her dad was here. He was holding her. He was making sure she knew he loved her. Dad finally came home.

Glenn let out a painful sob into Nick's shoulder, he said something. Nick thinks it was an apology, but between the sniffles and the hiccups and layers of clothing, its impossible to tell. Glenn pulled her up into his lap, held her like he would when she was five or six. Her head on his shoulder, his arms around her middle as he sat horizontal across his lap. Her legs were too long to curl up like they used to, so they sat awkwardly half-stretched across the floor. It was nostalgic in a way. It felt Glenn was just realizing how many years he'd wasted. How much time with his child he had lost.

"I'm sorry, Nick. Im- I didn't realize. I'm so fucking sorry, Nick." He was still crying. Crying more than Nick had ever seen him cry. She could hear the self-hatred and the regret in his voice. She reached an arm around his neck and pulled him that much closer.

"Just don't leave again... Please, Dad." Nick doesn't remember that last time she had called him 'Dad.' But, it felt right in that moment. It hasn't felt right in a long long time.

[vagarius]

misukazu 21

(if you saw me fuck up the other one no you didnt)

EDIT I THINK THIS ONE GOT A LITTLE FUCKED UP TOO BUT IT’S... READABLE...

questions from this post, and answers originally written for this thread!!

If you had to change the pairing’s very first meeting, how would you change it?    their canon first meeting is already so good SHDGFLJASHG but if i had to choose a different one that's still within the context of mankai... meeting as kids and losing touch and coming back together completely different at mankai

What song fits your pairing the most?    uhhHHhhHHH i don't have a real answer but i do have a partial playlist for one of my misukazu aus and the only two songs in it are furaregai girl by sayuri and champagne's for celebrating by mayday parade and i feel like that says enough sldhgalsdhfalsh

What is your favorite AU/prompt idea/trope for your pairing?     ALL MISUKAZU AUS ARE GOOD but. i really love any au where their first meeting is in the future and both are still kind of lost but they're Older and it's hard to let themselves fall into the easy trust they find in canon. i just think that'd be neat.

Do you prefer canon ideas or do you have your own headcanons for them?     I'VE SAID THIS MANY TIMES BUT CANON MISUKAZU GIVES OFF MADE FOR EACH OTHER VIBES AND USUALLY I DON'T VIBE WITH THAT BUT THEY REALLY ARE WHAT THE OTHER NEEDS... AND I THINK EVEN IF THEY HAD TO PART THEY'D STILL BE ABLE TO BE BETTER PEOPLE BC THEY HAD MET

Favorite canon moment of them?     THERE ARE SO MANY but the one that immediately comes to mind is misumi carrying drunk kazu to bed (latest bday line) because drunk kazu is so soft and it implies that misumi wanted to wish happy birthday to kazu pretty late... what did he want to give him...

Least favorite canon moment of them?     hmm... there's not really one i can think of??? IM SORRY I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY I LOVE ALL THEIR CANON MOMENTS

Favorite headcanon trope/idea? (Your own or someone else’s)    this is somehow both vague and very specific but i think misukazu gives off this vibe: He's beautiful. I can't tell him. or "Kazu is always beautiful~" Don't call me that, Kazu thinks. I'm not. so... insecurities i guess ????? AJSHAJJD

Favorite aspect of them/their relationship dynamics?     THIS IS GOING TO SOUND SO CHEESY but i love how /real/ they allow themselves to be around each other. misukazu at their best is when one thinks "you're you. and i love that you" and the other knows this. i just. THEY VALIDATE THE OTHER SO MUCH CRIES

Least favorite aspect of them/their relationship dynamics? (Can be headcannon)     this isn't a "least fav" so much as "it makes me sad" but if either of them showed any sign of not being interested anymore the other is more likely to give up then push anything. sort of like "it was bound to happen, so i'll enjoy now until they drop me" or EVEN WORSE they think the other would be better off without them and pushes them away. so yeah the fact i can see one of these happening makes me sad.

If they aren’t a canon pairing, how would you get them together?     they give off "everyone knows we're dating but us" energy but at the same time i feel like they'd acknowledge there's something and just not define it bc a) they don't need to (misumi) or b) they're too nervous to (kazu). in other words i think one day they are holding hands and misumi says "kazu? is this dating?" and kazu holds his breath before asking "do you want it to be?"

If you had to take them and plunk them into another fandom, what fandom would that be? Why?     i think theyd be hilarious in any sports animanga (kazu is manager tho bc noodle arms but maybe they bond when misumi walks him through some of his usual training menu one night - ahem. anyway) BUT ALSO horimiya au...

How hard is it write/draw your pairing? Scale of 1-10.     AJDHAJDHSF I REALLY LOVE THEM SO IT COMES PRETTY EASILY... but sometimes you try to put them in tropes and realize they would Just Not Work Like That. idk where i'm going with this. but yeah. anyway 3 for sankaku.

Is there a pairing that you think rivals them?     in terms of what i ship, i tend to ship kazu and misumi individually with a lot of dif charas AJDHAKD. but in terms of like... in-universe "rival" pairings: kazu side: tsuzukazu (maybe, lbr it would take them 273924 yrs to actually get together), kazu x someone from winter (i... have my reasons but they'd take longer than what this answer entails) misumi side: ... surprisingly none that i can think of ahdjahd

Which character of the pairing do you like more? (Would you ever pair yourself with them?)     you know that tweet that's like "sometimes a ship is just your two favs"? yeah that's misukazu for me. but if i had to choose... misumi AJDHAJHDSF I HONESTLY WASNT THAT INTO YUME UNTIL THESE TWO CAME AROUND (NOT COUNTING 707)... but yeah if they wanted to hold me in their arms i wouldn't oppose

Which character of your pairing would be the one to break up with the other? Why?     OOOOOH BOY well. i think it could be either of them. i don't think they'd break up for lack of love but too much love and wanting the other to be happy and thinking that the only way to give them that is to let them go. so i guess the question is which of them would be more likely to be selfish and hold on. thinking this way, i think misumi would be more likely to break-up, bc kazu has lots of friends who are better than him!! and misumi is more ready to leave if he thinks he needs to than kazu is. now im sad.

Are they relatable as characters or as a pairing?     THE NUMBER OF TIMES I'VE BEEN CALLED KAZU KIN... in all seriousness kazu's struggles with speaking out and (shinobi spoilers) his uncertainty over his future hit real close to home... while i don't relate as much as misumi, his struggles always manage to tear my heart into pieces... ((oversharing alert) i guess what really separates me from misumi is his struggle with his desire to connect with family who has treated him poorly... whereas im more "lol fuck you") tldr i relate to kazu slightly more LOL

Did you once/ever dislike one/both of them?     i never disliked them but i was NOT expecting either of them to shoot up so quickly into my favs list ahdjahdjf. also i started shipping them Immediately After reading summer main story so there's that

On an estimate, how many posts have you made about them?    as of september 28th 2020 i make up 11/78 fics on ao3 in the romantic misukazu tag and 2/12 in the platonic one. i may have brainrot.

What made you decide to ship them?     TBH I FINISHED THE MAIN STORY AND WENT "OH MY GOD... THAT'S MY SHIP" but now that i'm here i continue to ship them because they have the potential to bring out both the best and the worst in each other and i'm all about that

Favorite genre for them? (Angst, fluff, etc.)     angst. i just. angst hurt/comfort all the way. im so sorry babies.

lol you thought there would just be 21 ANYWAY EXTRA 1: how do they spend breaks/vacation?    they'd travel a lot when they're older!! kazunari loves to travel and misumi would follow kazunari anywhere (also, new triangles!!) so they go somewhere new whenever they have the time. however i think eventually one or both of their future careers will take them anywhere and everywhere anyway, so their "ideal vacation" might turn into an evening in, cuddling and catching up (as if they didn't already send play-by-play updates over the phone of whatever they did during the day)

EXTRA 2: first date?     i don't they ever have an explicit first date, but if asked they'll cite the time they had a picnic in the park turned triangle hunt turned accidental dip in the duck pond. at least, kazunari will. misumi just tilts his head and wonders what you mean.

EXTRA 3: gifts?     IM FEELING REALLY CHEESY SO I'M MAKING THIS ABOUT ANNIVERSARY GIFTS they both end up getting each other jewelry (although kazu was really really nervous bc he wasn't sure if misumi would wear it). kazu gets misumi a bracelet (with triangles, of course although misumi only wears it sometimes because he doesn't want to lose it) and misumi gets kazu a pair of triangle earrings "so we can match!" and kazunari combusts at the implications

EXTRA 4: sharing clothes     THEY'RE ACTUALLY AROUND THE SAME SIZE (and tend to wear baggier stuff barring kazu's skinny jeans)... but they have completely different Styles so it's still really obvious when steal each other's stuff ahdjajdkaf. as cute as kazu would look in sumi's sweatshirt i think the much more likely scenario is kazu wrapping misumi in his jackets because this boy nEVER BRINGS HIS ANYWHERE anyway just. accidental shared wardrobe misukazu.

EXTRA 5: lake house au    consider: kazunari living in a house on the shore of a lake for a summer for Art Purposes (and a little bit for Dealing With Life purposes but he's not gonna admit that) and meets his lake neighbor misumi who kazu thinks might be a ghost or spirit for a while but he actually just lives further down the lake and misumi unknowingly helps kazu with his Life Issues and maybe they fall in love