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lazyneonrabbitt · 10 months ago

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Girlfriend

Daryl Dixon x Reader | Some smut at the end [pt.2]

Daryl is in a sucky relationship but doesn't see it at first. Reader helps him see and later shows him how a good partnership works.

💘 💘 💘

With another invite turned down, you had set out on your own. Not that you enjoyed hunting without Daryl, but he seemed to be preoccupied with his girlfriend.

Again.

It was annoyingly quiet out there, nothing that indicated any animal being near..

Only ..rustling plants. Low, no wind in the trees. You followed the sound, staying low and undetected like Daryl taught you until-

Plap. Plap. Plap. "Hahh please~" Plap. Plap. "Quiet." Followed by a grunt and more skin on skin noise.

You recognized that barked command, having heard it a million times before during Daryl's hunting lessons. Was he really out here fucking his gross girlfriend? That preppy lady wouldn't even know how to function out here let alone be comfortable on the forest floor. Why the hell would he fuck that annoying bitch out here but not you during all those times spent together on your own?

But that's how it was these days. Your dear friend always being followed by that hag of a woman and you being sidelined.

On days it could get so bad you ended up in tears, begging Carol to explain why he was being so weird all of a sudden. She knew you cared deeply for him and didn't like Daryl's lady either and when you returned from your cut short hunting trip you told her about your findings. And of course about Daryl's clearly visible annoyance surrounding the act. You ended up being able to laugh about it all, laying back in a fit of giggles just as Daryl came back home and upon seeing him crying out laughter even harder.

"Ahw pookie, did a walker snag you?" She spoke through the snickering, pointing at her neck and back at him which had him look in the mirror and spot a dark red spot on his neck, immediately turning a deep shade of red in the face as he mumbled a response you couldn't make out.

As he stomped up the stairs, grumbling about a shower you gave each other a look and went back to laughing.

"Man, it's sad. Really." Your words brought some seriousness back into the conversation, seeing your friend was still being tortured on a daily basis but never seeming to be doing anything about it.

You all saw it. He was unhappy. But the majority of the community didn't see that. They didn't know him and only saw their happy friend with her quiet, grumbly boyfriend. The man you wanted to be your quiet, grumbly boyfriend.

Even Rick had tried to get his brother alone for even a short moment to make it clear she was bad for him but no matter where he found the archer, the woman was there too.

Everybody knew when Daryl was working in the garage you left him be, emergencies were fine, and leaving him some lunch with minimal interaction was appreciated but those were his moments to unwind. He needed those and you respected it. He'd make sure to let at least someone know so the word spread amongst his friends who all knew he'd come say hi when he was good to socialize again.

But these last weeks someone apparently didn't feel like those rules applied to her. The garage door was opened, allowing a view of Daryl sitting cross-legged on an old blanket and tinkering on his bike. And then behind him on the toolbox, the top cleared off for her to sit on and her legs resting on the bike's front wheel was the missus. You ever so slowly walked past, having Dog spot you and come up for some attention that he never got from the other one which you found more than sad.

You crouched down and lovingly cuddled up with the canine and ruffled his fur, smiling into his neck and listening in on the endless chattering that came from the woman currently disturbing Daryl's much needed alone time.

'Alright fuck this' you thought to yourself before standing up straight and calling out to her. "I heard you bake some amazing apple treats. Wanna show me how to make them?" Daryl gave you the most shocked look ever, but the feet touching the ground behind him made him smile ever so slightly. The one thing she was almost more fond of than Daryl was her baking. Clearly Carol must have told her.

But nothing beat the relief he felt when the two women walked off and Dog came to rest at his side again. He was gonna have to thank you for that later.

Back in the kitchen you suffered through the endless yapping beside you, barely telling you steps for baking and more bragging about her adventurous time in the woods. As you tried to follow her progress you tried your best to twist her words into your favor, and send away any snarky remarks on what you saw in reality.

All you had to do was survive this ordeal and think about Daryl having some time to clear his head.

And clearing his head he did. He felt refreshed after being left alone with his dog and bike for so long. He missed the quiet, started to hate the sound of his lady's voice almost.

But he couldn't tell her that. It was something he'd have to live with, something to get used to about relationships. Just like she had to live with him having Dog and dragging mud into the house.

That was all normal stuff, right? He had no clue so rolling with it until that warm, happy feeling Glenn and Maggie shared showed up. It was only a matter of time, it was gonna happen soon.

Except it didn't, and Daryl got worse so now it was Rick's turn.

He ran out to where Daryl was following around his woman like a lost puppy through the pantry, grabbing him by the shoulders in fake panic and dragging him along, something with trouble, and Carol, and hurry.

So he followed him into his house, where he stopped in the middle of the room and stared at you and Carol on the couch, and Rick behind him.

"Feeling those butterflies yet?" There was clear mockery in her tone, referring to their argument from a while ago about his lady. About how Carol felt he wasn't happy, and he called it none of her business and going on about how everyone had annoyances from time to time and they'd be fine soon. "Ya can't tell me ev'ryones got them butterflies all'a the time."

"Daryl, she doesn't even look at you." Well, she looked, but not in the way it mattered. Stared, gawked and drooled. He was nothing but a piece in her picture of a fake perfect life. And now was the time for truth. "I saw you with her in the woods." Eyes wide he stared at you, discomfort clear on his face. "You hated it, it was clear on your face, you barely even finished before you were up and away from her."

"Whuh-- why'd ya stay?" He stumbled over every word, his mind blank as he heard your reply. "Needed to know if you loved her for real. To move on, get you out of my mind."

He tried to place your words somewhere they made sense, but he got stuck again like he always did.

"Sideline that for a moment. We're talking about the other issue right now." Rick's order helped to get the conversation back on track, looking his dearest friend in the eyes before he spoke the harsh truth.

"Daryl, I know you don't want to hear this from us, but we're worried and you have to understand.." He needed a breath in preparation. "You're never going to be happy with her."

The front door had opened and closed during his sentence, a clearly angry girlfriend rounding the corner. One who had heard his words.

"What the hell are you saying? That's a lie and you know it!" She was face to face with Rick now, giving Daryl a stern look to help defend her. "Who do you think you are to make that assumption! Of course he's happy, he'd tell me if he wasn't!" She went from screaming to pointing aggressively as well. First at Carol. "She's probably just jealous that he likes my baked goods more!"

And then you. "And she.. She's just jealous of what me and Daryl have! You need to mind your own business, all of you!!" She huffed in annoyance.

"Wow." You spoke in the short moment of silence. "Can't believe you can fuck someone with a voice like that. Instant turn off for me."

Now there were four pairs of wide eyes staring at you. Two trying their hardest not to laugh, one in utter shock and one red-faced and ready to throw hands. Not that she'd win against someone who had trained to fight with a cop and a hunter.

She took one step towards you, hands balled into tight fists and brows furrowed in anger when a hand stopped her. "Touch 'er and yer walker bait."

Daryl had stopped her from approaching you. She'd ways obey her loving boyfriend, he loved her for that. "Daryl, honey she-" "Quiet!" He barked the order loud enough to startle everyone in the room, tears slowly forming in the offended woman's eyes. "Why would you let her say that?" She still continued. "You love my voice, my stories when we cuddle.." God, imagine loving your voice that goddamn much. "You said so when we visite--" "I said QUIET. Ya never fuckin' listen do ya?" The initial shock brought the tears to spill. Pressing her lips in a thin line as she sniffled.

You took the opportunity to speak up. "The only reason I asked you about those bland, boring pastries of yours was to give him-" You pointed at Daryl who kept his position in the middle of the group." "-some goddamn peace and quiet. You know, the only thing he actually wants when he's working in the garage." You scoffed at her ignorance. "Funny how everyone here knows, except for his Girlfriend. who loves him 'so, so much'." She went from angry glaring at you to staring at her boyfriend with her best sad eyes. "D.. Daryl? She's lying.. right? Y.. You love me."

No. No he didn't. He realized that now, he only thought he did when she showed him kindness and interest.

He opened his mouth to respond but no word came out. None that went through his head would end this conversation without conflict.

"She's.. I uh." He looked around as if words would appear is he searched hard enough but he quickly realized there was only one clear answer to be given.

The truth.

"Nah, I don'. M'sorry." He had turned back to face her but still hadn't found the courage to look her in the eye, the guilt eating him alive. He didn't want to hurt her. Hurt anyone, but in the process he was hurting himself.

"Liar." Her voice cracked, spirit broken and defeated. "Don't lie to me you love me!"

In her yelling she took a step forward, face now inches away from Daryl's.

"Nah." He repeated again. It stung but she needed to hear him and there it was again, right in front of him but not registering his words. She never truly saw him, heard him, loved him like his found family loved him.

"I don' love ya." Only now did he lift his gaze to meet hers, seeing the tears, the sadness and the anger.

"M'sorry."

She just stared, shaking her head, words lost for once as she cried.

The whole room felt heavy with emotion. It was never the plan to have this talk turn into what it was quickly becoming.

"A- are you.." her words barely came out between sniffs and hiccups. "Leaving me..? Y- you can't.."

"Look," Daryl had to dig deep for the right words, and begged they would work. "I never wanted ta hurtya, s'just.. We jus' ain't a match." He had kept his gaze on her, hoping his eyes would speak what his mouth couldn't. "This.. Us. It ain't workin' fer me." A sigh left him at her silence. He stepped past her, finding the large chair in the corner of the room and sitting down, needing a serious break with how his head was close to overflowing.

A loud sniff left her as she mumbled an okay and left. No further words, just an okay and out she went. Rick made a mental note then to send someone to check on her later. He suggested Daryl to go rest downstairs and take some time off jobs to clear his mind before wishing you and Carol a good day and heading off as well.

"Well, come on." You got a pat on the shoulder from Carol, who lead you off the couch. "You go take Dog for a nice long walk around the community while I go make some comfort food, alright?"

With a nod you retreated downstairs to find Dog napping on Daryl's bed, having to wake him to come with you to get some much needed fresh air for you, and some exercise for Dog.

The community was quiet around dinnertime, having everyone inside with their family, friends and housemates. It was perfect for thinking, commenting on stuff to Dog who padded alongside of you. You should have brought a ball to play with.

Back home Carol was busying herself in the kitchen, all her focus on cooking this meal to keep her from talking to Daryl. He needed the quiet so his head could do some serious sorting out.

You returned to Carol finishing up dinner and watched as Dog quickly made his way over to Daryl and rest his head in his lap.

You joined Carol in the kitchen and helped with plating the food and rinsing pans before leaving for the living room, handing Daryl a plate and eating in silence.

It was clear you weren't talking today and each went on with their lives.

It took a week for Daryl to be back in his usual routine, not avoiding people who could ask questions but just doing his jobs and runs like he normally would.

So now it was time for that talk.

Surprisingly he was the one that came yo you over dinner, having Carol as a buffer to fill in when he'd fall silent made it a bit easier to initiate the conversation.

Of course he had talked to Carol before alone, not knowing how to respond to your words in the first place he wanted some knowledge up front.

"Ya like me, in a boyfriend-girlfriend way?" Daryl's sudden words had you almost choke on your food, giving yourself a moment to breathe before nodding. "Yeah I do." It was no use denying it after what you said last time. And it probably took.him a lot to even start this conversation.

"Can ya tell me how tha' would work." He played around with the food on his plate, needing to keep his hands somehow busy. "If I said yes to it, I mean."

Now you gave him a sweet smile and happily told him. "I guess we'd share a bedroom, whenever you'd be ready for that. And I'd make sure to ask before I kiss you and all that."

"She'd also not kick Dog out and respect your alone time." Carol added with a fork pointed at you both, to which you agreed.

"I jus' ain't sure this is fer me, ya know. I'on wan' things ta get weird." Him admitting his fear was already an important part of any relationship, which you explained to him before adding, "we can give it a trial run, yeah? You can tap out whenever you feel like it's too much, yeah? We'll go at your pace." holding your hand out for him to take it.

Carol had snuck out while you talked and now busied herself in the kitchen to still listen and hop in when needed. She stared at your waiting hand, and Daryl's as he moved it ever so slow to rest it on top of yours. "I like ya too. Should've seen tha' earlier. An' m'sorry fer not seein' yer interest in me."

You gave his hand a little squeeze and so a relationship was started.

Very, very slowly.

Daryl now hovered around when you busied yourself in the kitchen, offered to help more just for the sake of being near you. He slowly worked up the courage to rest his hands on you as he stood around and realized quickly he loved to have his arms around you while you cooked, moving along with you across the counter.

"Daryl," His hands left you immediately, feeling like he overstepped. "Oh, no please, keep your hands on me I don't mind." You let out a laugh as you took his hands and placed them on the side of your ribs. "I just wanted to know if you enjoyed me returning the favor." You gave him a look over your shoulder and watched him as he faked deep thoughts. "I think I'd like yer hands on me, yeah."

You brought over some lunch in a basket. At Daryl's garage you whistled for Dog and gave the basket to him. He happily carried it over to Daryl, handle in his mouth and tail wagging.

Just as you wanted to walk off you were called back over. "Wanna share lunch?" His question shocked you, knowing he never liked people bothering him in the garage so being asked to stay was ..weird. But you stayed anyways and shared a peaceful lunch with Daryl.

You weren't sharing a bed yet. Taking things slow was your tactic, so you'd wait for Daryl to ask, or for him to mention it in conversation when the topic allowed it to be slipped in.

He hadn't yet so you were in bed alone, almost asleep when a knock woke you up. "Yeah?" You called out to whoever it was. The door opened to reveal Daryl in a pair of sweats and an old tee. "M'sorry fer wakin' ya. I wanna try'n sleep 'ere tonight."

His words were like a dream come true, almost literally with you so close to dozing off and scooted over to let him into the bed. The warmth that surrounded him felt good, and hearing your voice whisper a soft good night to him felt right. He returned the words and carefully took a hand to rest it on your side.

He slept through the entire night after years of waking at every creak or caw. When he woke up the first thing he saw was your sleeping form and he knew he wanted that every day. "G'morning, Dee." Your voice sounded like heaven, even in its groggy morning state. "Hmm mornin'." Hw grumbled with a smile. You loved that smile. You wanted to kiss that smile over and over again, but before you got the chance to finish that thought he had made the first move. He moved closer to you, face an inch away as he took a second to steady himself and ever so softly press his lips against yours.

The next night he only went downstairs to bring his pillow with him and moved to your room again, this time letting you settle against him as you got comfortable and again slept through the whole night.

Slowly your cabinet got rearranged to hold Daryl's clothes as well, he'd pull you against him as you both slept.

But maybe tonight he'd try something more than sleeping.

Daryl wasn't a stranger to sex these days, he just wasn't a big fan of it. Sure, it felt nice and he'd get the job done but it never felt like he thought it'd feel.

He hoped it would feel different with you.

You were already in bed when he came out of the shower, wanting to be clean if you were going to be intimate tonight. His arms snaked around yours and pulled your body against his under the covers, pressing the effects of his shower thoughts against your backside as he softly kissed the back of your neck.

"Dee?" You let out a content sigh at his eagerness all of a sudden. "Hmhm. Wanna touch ya." You responded by pressing your ass harder against his cock, grinding against him in slow but steady motions. "I'd love that, please." Words were important to Daryl, he needed his yes's and no's to make sense of these type of situations. Now that he had his yes he slowly made progress by slipping one leg out of his boxers and pulling down your underwear as well.

His cock was back against your ass as his hand snuck down your front and found his way between your folds. His rough fingers felt so good, having you let out a soft gasp as he slipped two fingers into you. You moaned along with his movements, loving the feeling of his thick digits pumping in and out of you. Your hand made its way between the two of you to touch him, moving the hem of his shirt out of the way to take him into your hand properly. Your fingers curled around his cock and pump slowly, soft rhythmic squeezes and pumps had his breathing pick up, almost whining at the touch. After a bit of more lazy touches you started to want more, positioning his length between your legs. He removed his fingers to assist positioning himself at your entrance and carefully moving his his to push into you.

You moaned at the initial stretch, having missed the feeling of being with someone so long. Your hips moved back to meet his on their own and Daryl noticed, enjoying the welcome feeling of his partner joining in the movements. His hand slid underneath your hip as the other trailed up to your chest, lingering just off your breast. With a soft giggle you took his hand and moved it to where he wanted it to be and squeezed softly. Behind you Daryl let out a delicious sound, making you turn just enough so you could watch him. One of your hands reached to scratch at his chin fluff as the other went to cup his balls between your legs, softly kneading them with every thrust of his hips.

His pace picked up and his groans deepened. "This okay for you?" Your voice came out in huffs, watching his face contort in pleasure. "Yeah. Keep touchin', s'good."

You were more than happy to oblige and keep up your gently pawing at his balls and moved your other hand to tangle in his hair, softly scratching his scalp and moving in closer for a kiss. His lips slotted perfectly against yours now after nights of figuring each other out before sleep.

Daryl was enjoying himself. And if your sounds were anything to go by, you were too. Your moans were slowly turning into whines of 'more' and 'please'. The hand that held your breast before now slid further up to your throat as he angled your head by the jaw to deepen the kiss as the hand on your hips helped to roughen his pace. Your sounds, now muffled by his lips were music to his ears and the squeeze of your walls spurred him on more than anything.

"M'close.." You almost whined against his lips, having him double his efforts to make you finish. His hand moved away from your hip in search for your clit, not daring to admit he needed guidance. Your hand moved from between his legs atop of his for a short moment to press the pad of his fingers at the right spot before going back to squeezing at him. It took only a couple more thrusts, rubs and squeezes before you both finished, your walls tightening around his length as he spilled inside of you.

He slumped onto his back, pulling out and putting his underwear back on.

"You good?" You turned to fully face him, "hmhm, yeah tha' was way more fun than I thought." He gave you a soft smile as you wormed your underwear back on too. "S'nice when the lady touches me too." You took his words as an invite and rested your hand on his hip and squeezed. His body was just so perfect for squeezing in any and all places, you loved it. "I'll always happily touch you, just lemme know when you don't like something." He gave a grunt in agreement and suggested sleep for now, continuing the talk in the morning.

So sleep you did, even better now being all tired out.

Breakfast tasted better after that, the air was fresher and the residents were less annoying.

That was of course until the one they didn't want to run into saw them holding hands on the way to the pantry.

"I hope you like sloppy seconds." One voice commented from behind you. "Yeah, sloppy for sure. Horrible lay, that guy." The women giggled among themselves, staring you down. Where Daryl tried to ignore his ex's stupid remarks, you weren't going to leave without snapping back. "Sloppy? Maybe when the chick he fucks squeals like a dying hog! Fucked me so good I could barely walk last night." You sent them a smug look, the women in the background giggling softly as she colored beet red and crossed her arms with a huff, turning away from the two of you in shame. "Ya done makin' a scene now? We gotta grab food." You proudly nodded, a wide smile on your face on your way into the pantry to pick out dinner food.

Daryl might not have shown it on the outside, but he was damn proud of his lady. And hearing you defend him like that made him live you even more.

~~☆☆☆~~

A/N: loosely inspired by the Avril Lavigne song. Because I'll forever be a little emo kid by heart.

#sometimes i write #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon #daryl dixon smut #daryl dixon imagine #daryl dixon fanfiction #twd daryl #twd daryl dixon #twd #the walking dead

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getvalentined · 7 months ago

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I've never done a full breakdown of everything that happened to my version of Vincent while he was under the knife (although there is a partial breakdown from like 12 years ago on Ask Vincent Valentine), but @spinejackel tagged my recent Vincent doodle gushing about autopsy scar (Vincent Has a Y-Incision headcanon supremacy!) so I figured it was probably a good time. This is also probably the best method, since I can apply the right tags and trigger warnings to hopefully keep it from hitting the people who would be disturbed.

For anyone who doesn't know, figuring out the fucked up physiology of victims of science is like my entire jam. I think this is what happens when you let a chronically ill child watch Akira and the original Bubblegum Crisis OVA and most of the works of Masamune Shirow. All that before FF7 even existed. This means that the explanation under the cut may seem excessive, and this post is very long. I've been building it over over a quarter century, I don't think there's any avoiding it at this point.

Warnings for body horror, nonconsensual body modification, medical horror and torture. Basically, if there's anything you can think of related to becoming a victim of science under the rule of an unethical sci-fantasy oligarchy, it's probably in here to some degree. It's explained plainly and simply, in clinical but not visceral detail.

My headcanons for what Hojo did to Vincent are pretty specific, albeit not precisely comprehensive; 27 years later I still don't really have a particularly solid concept for how he turned Vincent into a shapeshifter, although at least we know it's not something entirely specific to Vincent—Hojo repeated that facet of the experiment in Azul, but not in any other SOLDIER operative even in DeepGround, implying that it's only possible if very specific physiological conditions are met. The minimal concept I do have involves a twisted application of the concept of incarnate summoning as it appears in FFXIII-2, but it's very vague and also not the topic of this post. Maybe later.

Regarding the Y-incision/autopsy scar, my headcanon is that once Hojo tweaked Vincent into being able to regenerate from any injury—an enhancement that is confirmed to be entirely Hojo's work in Dirge—the professor of course felt it necessary to run various tests quantify the usefulness of his handiwork. He did this first by inflicting various surface injuries, then by causing more extreme bodily trauma, which eventually culminated in Hojo removing the majority of Vincent's internal organs in order to measure how long it took them to grow back and, assuming they did grow back, how the new ones compared to Vincent's original parts.

To be able to observe this as closely as possible, Hojo kept Vincent's torso open for the entire process—which he repeated twice more in order to check the weight, size and structure of the newly-grown organs in comparison to the originals. This study proved that most of them did grow back, but the majority of them stopped developing much earlier than was appropriate for Vincent's age and size. The difference was consistent, Hojo just never figured out why most of them grew back smaller and less-developed.

The reason this happened is based the fact that most of the organs in the human trunk are used in digestion and other related processes, and Vincent's regeneration means he doesn't need to eat or drink anymore. His body only expended as much energy as was completely necessary to develop those organs to the point of being functional rather than normal, because they're not really necessary. Vincent is glad he still has them, though, because he does still occasionally eat (usually in social situations) and also he'd be really sad if he couldn't even have coffee.

Vincent's brain activity remained normal during the entire process, although that may have something to do with Hojo driving a bunch of fluid lines into his head and flooding the inside of his skull with mako to keep him awake the whole time even while deprived of oxygen. (Rebirth spoilers, but seeing the bit in the Nibelheim Protorelic questline where Hojo does something super similar to this, after this has been my headcanon for decades, was a trip.)

Two organs didn't grow back at all: Vincent's appendix and one kidney. This was also the result of efficient energy expenditure, as the human appendix isn't necessary for survival, and only one kidney is really required. (Each time Hojo removed the new kidney, the one that grew back would be on the opposite side, which bothered Hojo to no end.)

His lungs grew back a little larger, possibly because his skeletal structure never quite recovered after his first transformation into Galian—his arms and legs are noticeably too long for his body, although not to the point of looking impossible, and likewise his ribcage settled to breadth that would allow for larger lungs. He doesn't really need these anymore either, related to his brain being exposed to so much mako during the process that it can now operate without oxygen if necessary, but switching himself over from aerobic to anaerobic respiration is really unpleasant and Vincent tries to avoid it when he can.

His heart was pretty normal by the time Hojo was done with him, although his heartrate had dropped to like 20bpm even when elevated. Again, if respiration isn't necessary, there's not much reason for the system to be active. (By the time Lucrecia was done this had dropped to around 5bpm on average, although it's completely arrhythmic and jumps all over the place when he's not either particularly active or on the verge of a transformation.)

This was the experiment that left Vincent susceptible to degradation, which Hojo didn't realize until after finally closing him back up. Upon realizing that Vincent's body wasn't responding properly to a different test (a repetition of an earlier experiment related to the regeneration of external tissues and features), Hojo just kinda threw him in a tube to be disposed of at a later date, kinda like that scene in Arrested Development where there's that dead dove in a bag in the fridge. The incision healed at some point during the period that Lucrecia was working on him, but early enough in her work that the tissue couldn't flawlessly regenerate (like it does in the present), leaving him with one more gnarly scar on top of all the rest.

Vincent is self-conscious about all the physiological changes brought on by what was done to him, often to the point of loathing. His left arm is the worst—it rotted off while he was in the throes of degradation and grew back as something that he hesitates to call his arm—but Vincent hates that Y-incision scar almost as much. Some days they tie.

(It has come up in appropriately horrified conversation with Shalua that, considering how his regeneration works, Vincent could probably get rid of all the scars on his chest if he somehow peeled the skin off his torso in a single swath. He will not be doing that. Besides, it might grow back the wrong color/texture/etc, like his left arm. Not worth the risk, much less the suffering.)

Also I gotta finish off this entry with the extremely stupid headcanon reveal that Vincent's (honestly fairly impressive) dick was cut off during the first round of bodily trauma regeneration tests—and Hojo has never felt the sort of rage he experienced upon discovering that it grew back bigger than before. This occurred early enough in the experiments that Vincent was not awake for it, and thus has no idea how the fuck this happened, and does not want to talk about it ever thank you very much. I've never mentioned it in public anywhere because it is extremely stupid, but I hope someone out there finds it as funny a concept as I do.

#vincent valentine #headcanon warning #body horror tw #torture tw #medical torture tw #it's all described in scientific detail #not visceral at all #but it's still very much horror #so please be aware #and do not engage if you're not into that #fandom ramble

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charmedreincarnation · 2 years ago

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As most people don’t know I just want to say I’m definitely more into shifting than any other spiritual practice as that is something very much apart of my life and I’m indulged in. Not to say I don’t care or want to talk about other stuff but I know way more about shifting and stuff related to that than the void state !!!! I love dicussion about quantum jumping, the multi verse, time, 3D vs 4D, chakras, plus I have so many shifting stories hehe. Don’t get me wrong, I love void discussions, it’s a fascinating thing and other Loa inquires but I also want to talk about shifting more because that’s something I’ve actually mastered 😋😋 I’ve also been in the shifting community for way longer than the void community so I have more years of experience, and have met so many people who have educated me so much more than for example the void state!

Anyways here are my reality shifting tips that I talk about often and can also be applied to manifesting (for those who separate the two concepts) and even the void state or whatever you desire

1. You are limitless.

When I first started I had a bunch of questions about limits and what I can and can’t do, and what are the boundaries I can’t cross after learning about this phenomenon. Now I can say, you make to own rules because you quiete literally are god. If you can intend and imagine it, you can make it your perception and reality. This can be applied to anything, shifting, manifesting, even something as minuscule as playing a sport or passing a test. Society did use to tell us we can do anything if we put our mind to it and to dream big and reach for the sky, but it truly is a real concept I wish they ingrained in us a little more. Unfortunately for society, us being prepared to work 9-5s to give back to the government is more important. You don’t have to follow that path though, you found this for a reason so utilize it to live your dream life. It’s your life and your rules

2. this ties back with point one but the universe doesn’t shift you, because you are the universe

every time I browse shifting communities it’s someone saying you have to shift like this or that.. for the universe, or other false concepts like divine timing Well, the universe doesn’t care respectfully, because we are the universe. You can ask for help from the universe if that’s your belief and manifest your environment to help in your biddings but at the end of the day, it’s all you. This is why when people try to enforce cutting karmic ties, doing shadow work, learning about chakras, giving back to the universe, etc, it can be counter productive to your journey. While that can help SOME PEOPLE… it’s not what everyone needs or should even do. I’m not methodical at all and that stuff didn’t mean much to me and when I tried to force myself to care and it honestly slowed me down and was a waste of time. You know yourself and what you need. So follow your heart and intuition!

3. if I could tattoo this in everyone’s mind I would but feeling is much more important than visualizing or affirmation.

The feeling is the single-handed most important concept that everyone can utilize. A lot of people are bad visualizers and think it’s the end of the world when the feeling is what changes your visualizations into reality. I’m a maladaptive daydreamer so trust me when I took the visualization part and only did that, I got super sad when it didn’t help me shift since it’s something everyone preaches is so important. I wish it was the key to shifting because I would have done it in seconds. But our subconscious can’t tell the difference between images we see in our heads/daydreams and reality, so it’s the feeling that changes the perception and awareness successfully. Someone asked me how to successfully “feel” so I’m just going to explain it here because I think it gets to the point.

It’s hard to feel something you’re not feeling. As for shifting.. that’s the content of knowing you’ll wake up in your dr, but then again if you haven’t shifted yet how would you know what it feels like. To us, it would be pure bliss, and a state of fulfillment, the same as accomplishing a goal. But it’s hard to feel the fulfillment while trying to fulfill it if it makes sense? That’s why most people utilize other things like music, to get to the happy feeling and pretend with that by using methods like the sunny or Estelle method but to me, that stuff is distracting so I just had to practice and enhance my “smelling, hearing, and tasting”

I think it’s easier to pretend to feel and see (as in the sense of feel) but it’s harder to try to feel like you’re smelling your dr, tasting food in your dr, and hearing other people in your dr. I would try visual practices like pretending to eat an apple. For me I’m a great visualizer (again I’m a maladaptive daydreamer) but could you get yourself to taste the apple and hear yourself eating the apple. And maybe feel annoyed because to me the crunch of an apple is so annoying lol. Could you embody the state of being annoyed?

Oh, yea also practices using the first person. That’s something I also struggled with because I like watching my visualizations but that’s not my feeling. That’s seeing, and you should use all 5 senses together

In short don’t just feel the happiness you know you would have, utilize your 5 senses in your imagination when trying to shift, it will bring you closer to your home.

4. stop running away from your problems under the guise of the law of assumption.

For a long time, I ignored my reality and would pretend oh “I’m going to shift anyways so it doesn’t matter” you’re not assuming you’re going to shift if you’re hoping to do it. I would say I assume it will happen then hope and beg for the universe to shift me. you can’t gaslight yourself to not have doubts lol and you may be saying you’re going to shift but again feelings trump affirmations and you feel in your heart you won’t so that’s your reality. Now I know a lot of people on here have hard-lives, it’s why and how a lot of people found shifting. But seriously try manifesting a better current reality you’re aware of while trying to shift. Manifesting and shifting are two sides of the same coin and you can easily intertwine them to benefit you both ways. Find what works for you. You’ll have a better time assuming you’ll shift when you’re not clouded with stress from your cr and the sadness you get from it. (Not saying you can’t shift if you’re sad depressed or have doubts, You can) I’m saying it helps to not feel a weighing pressure to shift to escape, instead of shifting to escape for your eternal happiness.

5. There is nothing wrong with escapism

This is such a huge discussion in the community and such a stupid one at that. Every form of entertainment is a source of escape. Watching tv, vacations, having friends, sleeping. It’s a normal part of the human psyche, why should we be forced to only work, go to school, and sleep and have that be are only life. Shifting can be for escaping! It is, wether you do it temporarily or permanently, and THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. You shouldn’t be forced to stay here with everything wrong with the world, especially after you shift once you just know there’s so much better life out there for you. You are not confined to any reality, nor are you forced to stay anywhere you are not happy and anyone who tells you otherwise can shut their mouth. There is nothing wrong with change, and finding what makes you happy. The only thing wrong is staying where you’re not appreciated or happy when you have access to other sources. Please don’t let anyone gaslight you into feeling bad for prioritizing yourself and well being.

6.Lastly this ties back to the last point but find a support group whether in real or online

I know not everyone finds this to be some huge journey but I think we can all agree it’s become a huge part of your life. Find people to talk to not only about your journey but anything at all. I’ve made great shifting friends and they’re the only reason I’m coming back before I perma shift! I want to help them with their journeys before I go as well as all the amazing people on this subreddit who helped me.

Special note: All methods lead to shifting and manifesting successfully <3 behind every successful shifting method is a strong intention by the user of said method. All methods are doors to your desires, just choose which one you want to open, and don’t over complicate it! If you think your method work it will work.

that’s it. anything else could fall back into one of these categories! If one resonated with you, or all six or even 0, that’s fine! You’ll find what works for you as you go along but if this helps even one person I’ll be happy. sorry if it’s too long. I tried to keep it short and concise, cause I could probably go all day

#shiftblr #shiftinconsciousness #reality shifting #law of attraction #law of assumption #manifesting

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gameshow-host-wally · 6 months ago

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But what if you could do something in really specifical cases?, for example this ones:

1. If the contestant has a sick family member that doesn't have much time left

2. If the contestant needs to care for a disable person, like, literally the only one who can take care of it

3. If there was someone that needed a transplant to save their life and the contestant was literally the only donor compatible to save its life

4. If a family member of the contestant is about to end their life to be with them again

And so on, only those cases, answer that Wally, I wanna hear you say what do you think of this sad cases

"Then the same rule applies, what's happening outside the studio isn't my business. Just because I feel bad for them, doesn't mean I am allowed to mingle the lives of those up there... Well, as long as Home doesn't know"

"Ha ha! What can I say? What the boss don't know, the boss don't mind. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha....ha... uh... I am really hoping he didn't hear me say that... I'm definitely going to get each layer of my skin ripped off slowly if Home heard that"

#cw: gore #cw: violence #cw: death #gameshow host wally #game show host wally #welcome home #welcome home au #welcome home fandom #wally darling #welcome home wally #wally welcome home #wally darling welcome home #welcome home wally darling

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ukulelevillainwrites · 1 year ago

Text

who follows the rules anyway?

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9

complete

pairing : anthony lockwood x she/her reader

word count : 4.5k

content : in this part you get angst, reader and lockwood’s backstory and some plot with a side of ‘i didn’t know where else to go’ in subtext :)))

They ate dinner in silence. It was clear that the two guys she had in front of her weren’t used to having people over. They were sitting around the kitchen table, notes and drawings covering the cloth beneath their plates. She read the messages closest to her. Many were about cases they probably worked over the past couple of weeks. But here and there she noticed some insults directed at Lockwood and she was glad to see she wasn’t the only one who thought those things. A drawing of a visitor caught her attention. It wasn’t very detailed but its expression seemed sad and lonely nonetheless.

“Who’s that?” she asked.

“That’s the ghost we have to take care of tomorrow. It’s probably a Type One so we should be done quickly.” George answered.

“Where is the house you have to take care of?”

“Hopkins Street in Soho.”

“I’ve been on a case near there! Though it was more dangerous, the Type Two we had to contain was more threatening than we had anticipated. And the house was big too, are you gonna be okay just the two of you?”

“I’m sure we’ll be fine.” Lockwood cut in.

“We could always add a third person, worst case scenario they just stand by…”

“I’d be happy to be there in reinforcement… And that way I could pay you back for letting me stay here.”

Lockwood was far from enthusiastic about the arrangement. y/n saw his jaw tighten as George accepted her offer to tag along.

“I’ll go to Satchell’s to restock.” He got up and aimed for the door. “You and y/n can prep the bags so we can leave when I come back.” He left the table without looking back. There was no room for discussion. It’s like he couldn’t get out fast enough. I guess the feeling is mutual then. But who cared if he couldn’t stand to be in her company either? At least she could repay George by helping him out back. And that way she didn’t have to figure out what her next move should be for another day. She could pretend to be a proper agent one more time and forget about her disgrace.

George immediately filled her in on all the research he had done on the case. Apparently even for a Type One explaining every little detail couldn’t wait until tomorrow. She listened to him ramble on about the history of the house on Hopkins Street and felt at peace for the first time that day. It reminded her of their walks back from a job early in the morning. She paid attention as much as she could until her eyes decided to close on their own.

----

It was getting unbearably cold and the fact that she was restrained to a small iron circle didn’t help her condition. The night had been a disaster so far. It made her regret Fittes, her old teammates, her decision to stay here and help. She wanted to be a true professional and apply her impeccable methods. What could be better than to follow Marissa Fittes’ instructions to the letter? What could possibly be worth denying everything her supervisors had taught her her entire career? Anthony Lockwood’s sheer will apparently justified changing everything.

It had started as soon as they had set foot inside the house. She wanted to be thorough and efficient. She offered that the group went through the house together to look at each room and possibly locate the source before facing any type of ghost. But their leader had decided otherwise and didn’t even bother to listen. He sidelined her immediately.

“You’re here in reinforcement, right? So we’ll come get you if we need a hand.” He had told her before leaving her behind surrounded by an iron chain. It made her furious. Sure, she hadn’t exactly been warm yesterday, or even polite, but still. He could really use her training and her talent. His stubbornness was really stupidity at this point. And what kind of agency didn’t have supervisors?

She was going on and on in her head about everything that was wrong with this situation when George interrupted her train of thoughts as he entered the room.

“We still haven’t found anything, we’re taking a break in the kitchen. Care to join us?”

Of course, Lockwood wouldn’t have bothered to tell her that. Instead, he greeted her with

“That tea is really awful. Who made it?” he said with a wince.

“I did, and at least I was nice enough to bring tea for everyone.” She went to pour herself a cup from a thermos she had packed.

“Well, it was your job.”

“My job was to prep the bags with George, not play housekeeper.” She said coolly without looking up. She turned her back to him so he couldn’t see the look on her face. That tea really was terrible.

“The tea isn’t the only thing that’s bitter tonight.” He said with a smirk.

She turned around to face him.

“Tea isn’t part of a regulation kit.”

“In our agency it kind of is.” He cut in.

“What I’m trying to say is that you could appreciate the intention instead of making your snide comments. Earlier you literally walked through the door shouting orders without helping us even a little and now you keep criticizing me. You can’t spend the evening reprimanding everything I do.”

“I’m in charge and I can when the work isn’t done properly.”

The room fell silent. She wanted to scream at him, hit something, anything. But this was still a haunted house. She needed to keep her emotions under control. No matter how much she wanted to put him in danger specifically, George didn’t deserve this. Ignoring the satisfied look that Lockwood gave her, she turned to George.

“Is he always so difficult to work with? I’m surprised you haven’t lost your sanity.”

“He’s actually tolerable most of the time.”

Lockwood smiled at her with a “I told you so” grin.

“But you obviously have quite an effect on him.” He told her with a wink.

His smile disappeared instantly and it was George’s turn to laugh.

“Instead of having you two brooding in separate corners of the room, maybe we could try and do the job we were hired to do?”

They went for another tour of the house, using all their senses to try to detect any activity. The only result they got was a drop in temperatures which was a start. They settled into the coldest room, figuring the source was probably nearby. They set up a circle in the center and the boys started to search anything that could be the cause of the haunting. As y/n went to pick up a figurine carved in ivory on a shelf an annoying voice interrupted her.

“I need you to stay in the circle while we look for the source.”

“But my Touch is better than yours and George’s combined! Stop being a jerk and let me do my job for the first time this evening.”

“We’ll tell you if we need reinforcement.”

As George was about to protest she raised her voice.

“I’m getting really sick of your behavior. Stop treating me like I’m a beginner. I can handle myself. I worked for the most prestigious team in the most prestigious agency for God’s sake!”

“Well, you’re not anymore. Your behavior hasn’t been much better and until I know that I can trust you I’m not letting you touch anything in this house.”

“Fine. If that’s how it’s gonna be I’ll be better off anywhere else.”

She left the room in a rush. She was putting both of her teammates in danger anyway with how angry she was getting. It was better for everyone if she left.

She went down the stairs in a hurry and slammed the door on her way out. The fresh air outside helped a little. But she would need a two-hour walk at least to calm down. She started to walk down the street as she heard footsteps running behind her.

Lockwood caught up with her and grabbed her arm to make her turn around.

“Where do you think you’re going? You don’t have anywhere to go and we organized the night with you as backup. If we don’t have you standing by you’re putting both of us at risk if something goes wrong.”

“I’m putting you two at risk anyway with how angry I am at you. I thought getting to know you would change the opinion I had of you but I was right from the start you’re just an arrogant jerk.”

“And I was right to think you were just pretentious and helpless that night we met. If it weren’t for me you’d be dead but instead you disrespect me in my own house and act surprised when I don’t trust you on a case.”

So he did remember that night. She tried to hide her surprise.

“Oh right so I’m supposed to be grateful for you ruining a perfect opportunity for my career.”

“You didn’t need me to ruin your career you handled it very well yourself.”

That stung. She turned around before he could see the tears that prickled her eyes and stormed off into the night.

“Nice one Lockwood! And I’m the one with zero social skill.” George said from the doorstep before going back inside, leaving Lockwood alone in the deserted street.

---

“y/n I need you to keep the visitor under control while we look for the source!” Kipps shouted as he ran up the stairs, followed closely by Bobby.

“But wouldn’t it be better if-” She tried to point out that her talent would be most useful if she went to look for the source herself but the boys were already gone. Reluctantly she went back to the living room, using her senses to see if the visitor had come back yet.

She was alone for now. Just her and her frustration to keep her company. After a week of strenuous efforts and late nights, her leader still didn’t seem to warm up to her. Obviously if he kept her aside and gave her tasks that didn’t let her show her full potential he could never be impressed with what she could do. But she kept her head down, it was only the first week, she needed to follow his directions to remain on his good side, or at least his neutral side. And if the visitor showed up she would do her best to fight it, maybe that would show him. She tried listening to reason the best she could, but the truth was that Kipps’s behavior vexed her. She couldn’t help feeling underestimated and a kind of sorrow rose in her. What more could she do to make him notice her? His approval was the only thing she sought at the moment. It consumed her so much that she didn’t realize the visitor had resurfaced. It started creeping up behind her when suddenly she felt a presence as the temperature dropped several degrees.

She ducked at the last minute and narrowly avoided the ghost that flew above her reaching for her neck. The phantasm was now hovering between her and the iron chain, she had no refuge. She drew her rapier unaffected and ready to fight. The ghost tried to attack again, it was aggressive and used her frustration to its advantage. She formed complicated patterns with her sword to keep it away from her. They stayed face to face like this for several minutes with no sign from Bobby nor Kipps. Her arm grew tired of this face to face. It was getting harder and harder to draw the ghost off but her mind stayed focused. Fortunately, it was hard to break her spirit. That was until a cramp painfully twisted the arm that held her rapier. The pain was so sudden that she grabbed her arm and dropped her weapon as a reflex. Probably the worst reflex to have in this situation. As her iron defense touched the floor the visitor attacked. She ducked again, getting closer to the iron chain. As she went to step inside, she tripped and broke the circle. Her rapier was out of reach. She grabbed the chain and tried to fend off the ghost with the chain, not using the flares at her belt that certainly would have caught fire inside. Where were Bobby and Kipps? She could really use a hand right now. As the phantasm got very close to touching her the door flew open.

Finally. In the darkness she only saw a silhouette in a long coat drawing the visitor’s attention away from her. She was thankful but she didn’t recognize who it was. Bobby or Kipps would have been coming from upstairs so she wondered how this stranger could have known when to barge in. Nevertheless, the diversion was enough for her to grab her rapier, ready to fight once more. The living room was lit by the ghost lamp outside. She turned around to see her rescuer fending off the phantasm. He was quick on his feet, the movements of his sword clear and precise. His posture looked elegant even in a fight. He seemed completely at ease and it didn’t look like he needed her help. Once more she felt rather useless. She remained alert but couldn’t do more than watch the scene unfold. It was like the visitor had forgotten she was in the room standing right behind it. As the fight went on the guy in front of her tried tempting it more and more each time he dodged a sudden move from the ghost. She slowly walked around to join him on the other side of the room as the ghost was getting closer each time it tried to reach him. What was he doing? The point wasn’t to tempt the ghosts but to keep them away. It’s like he found it amusing somehow. She felt a burst of energy and a shiver ran down her spine. It was getting particularly angry. She hurried to reach his side telling him to get out of the way. She held her sword high, ready to fight off the new blow she was expecting when instead she was pushed behind. She lost her balance as she was shoved against a sofa sitting in the corner of the room and tripped the reckless idiot in the same movement. He held on to the armrest to quickly stand up and stood between her and the visitor. It was getting close, too close. At the last moment it disappeared. The air warmed up and the tension that filled the room was replaced with relief. Only for a moment though.

“Are you crazy? You could’ve gotten us both killed if my team hadn’t just located the source!” She pushed him away as she stood up from the sit he had pushed her into.

“A good evening to you too. What a lovely night isn’t it?”

She looked at him in disbelief.

“You’re not even gonna acknowledge the fact you almost got killed three seconds ago?”

A voice came from the hallway.

“Tony! To what do we owe the pleasure?”

The boy rolled his eyes at her before turning around.

“Shouldn’t you be alone in your big house at this time of night?”

She had never seen Kipps like this before. Sure, he was proud most of the time, but never to that extent.

“You should thank me for saving your teammate from a certain death. I did your reputation a favor here.” He talked about her like she wasn’t standing right next to him. How could someone she met 5 minutes ago irritate her so much?

“I’m sure she could handle herself just fine.”

“I could but he didn’t really give me a chance.” She said, glaring at him. “I didn’t need your help, I had the situation under control.”

“A simple thank you would have sufficed. Next time I’ll just enjoy the show from outside then.” He gave her one last look before exiting the room.

He left the same way he had come without looking back. Or at least she thought. Outside he had glanced one more time through the window where he had first seen her battling the phantasm, his lips curving slightly as he made his way back home.

---

The memories of that night kept coming back to her, fueling her rage as she made her way down Wardour Street. He didn’t let her do her job then and he didn’t let her do her job now. And he was acting like an arrogant prick with a smug look on his face while he was doing it. Her head was heavy with the events of the past two days and she felt overwhelmed. She was angry at the universe for turning her life upside down. She had a plan and she was following it. Why did things have to change so suddenly? She was mad at her instincts for misguiding her and she hated the way she kept overreacting. The further she walked the more anger she realized she had to unpack. She had weeks of frustration from all the efforts she made to gain Kipps’s trust and approval and the ironic twist of fate that undid all that in just one day. She also had the hurt from El’s betrayal that still twisted her stomach. The uneasy feeling that something wasn’t right with Mrs Dufour. The shame of being fired. The unbearable weight of figuring out her future now that she threw away the one that she had designed for herself. She wasn’t ready to deal with that just yet and decided to focus on tonight instead. Who cared if she didn’t have a future, at least she still had a friend in the city that very kindly accepted to take her in. Well, until she left him and his colleague alone in a haunted house that is.

She regretted taking her anger out on Lockwood, though some of it was well deserved. She actually didn’t know how to feel about him. Somehow she was convinced he could have been very nice to work with if she had given him a chance from the start. On the other hand, she still wasn’t over how he literally kept her from doing her job all those weeks back. And the fact he behaved the exact same way tonight certainly didn’t help. Still, she hoped they were safe even with her gone.

The stroll did help a lot. She had been gone for half an hour but the fog in her mind already started to lift. She still needed some alone time but she really should apologize for her behavior later. The guys wouldn’t be home for a couple more hours anyway. No need to rush. She could always apologize tomorrow. And she would owe them one less night at their place.

She made her way to the border of the Thames, passing Scotland Yard on her way. It was one of the only buildings with light coming from the windows. She followed the river south, taking deep breaths to try and ease her mind. A gentle breeze rustled her hair and she finally allowed herself to relax for the first time today. The water made her feel safer and the quiet streets made her appreciate the city even more. It was a shame she couldn’t do this more often without taking risks. She could have stayed there for hours but as she leaned on a banister she noticed a boat getting weirdly close to her. It kept coming her way until a girl with a straw hat on came into view. She pointed to somewhere behind her mouthing something. Was it directed at her? She frowned mouthing “what?” back to the girl. She insisted. ‘Watch out.’, she finally understood. She turned around to see men gather and she ducked on instinct. The only people out at this time of night couldn’t be good news.

Curled up behind a brick wall, she slowly craned her neck to try and see what this was all about. There were three men standing a few feet away from her. They were partially hidden by a tree. She moved slightly to her right to have a better view. Relic men. It was very clear that this meant trouble and she needed to get out of there. She turned around, hidden behind the wall to thank the girl on the boat but she was already out of sight.

The easiest way for her to get out of there unseen was to go back the same way she came, practically on her knees the whole time to remain covered. She made slow progress but she would soon be able to reach Scotland yard and from there she could keep walking the other way. She didn’t really care where she was going as long as she was out of danger. She was reaching the last few feet when she heard a familiar voice that made her blood run cold.

“Good evening gentlemen.”

George was right. She was right. Mrs. Dufour was standing there, casually chatting with relic men. Her dismissal seemed even more unfair now. She wasn’t in such a hurry now. She could finally get her answers and get to the bottom of this.

“Did you bring it?” one of the men asked though it sounded more like an order.

“Of course I did. Here, I’m sure you’ll get a good price for it but I want 25%, no less.”

The man closest to her laughed as he dismissed her with a hand.

“Yeah, right.”

“It’s an original from Mrs. Overton’s ancestors. A piece from a prominent family like hers has got to be worth a lot more than the other pieces I brought you. And I’m putting my job on the line for this. 25 or I’ll find someone else.”

Did she really say Mrs. Overton? She was selling the clock she was supposed to bring back in a few days? y/n couldn’t believe it. How was she going to justify the missing piece to their client?

The shock made it hard to breath. She had flashbacks from the day before when she heard voices outside Mrs. Dufour’s office. She tried to step away slowly and discreetly but the friction of her feet on the ground made a sudden noise that made the group look in her direction. She stayed ducked but she heard one of the men get closer to investigate. She only had one option if she wanted to get out of here unharmed. She stood up and immediately started running. She could hear one of the men yelling to go after her from afar but she didn’t turn back to check. She hoped the supervisor didn’t recognize her but now was not the time to worry about this detail. She had more chance losing them if she got lost in the streets instead of following the river. She made a turn on her left, hoping they would lose sight of her. Instead she felt a sharp pain in her left arm. How could she get a cramp in this part of her body while running? Without slowing down she passed a hand up and down her arm to ease the pain. Instead of finding the soft fabric of her jacket her fingers met something wet. She looked down at her bloodied fingers trying to keep up her pace. Not only were these men chasing her but they were throwing knives at her. Letting them catch her wasn’t an option from the start but even less so now. She tried to ignore the sharp ache and kept running until she found a hiding spot in a deserted alleyway. She used the trashcans and piles of cardboard boxes to avoid her pursuers. They ran past her without looking back. She waited a few minutes trying to calm her breathing down.

The street was silent again, she couldn’t hear any voices or steps coming her way. She peered out from her hiding spot and only saw the ghost lamp at the end of the street. She came out and sighed in relief. Her mind had gone completely numb but as she stepped out of the alley she became painfully aware of the situation. Panic started to rise inside her. She wanted to curl up in the middle of the street as her breathing accelerated. Somehow she still wasn’t getting enough air. Her lungs hurt, the world started spinning around her. The wound in her arm was burning, she felt blood running down her arm. All her senses were blinded by the pain and the stress, she couldn’t think straight. Behind her she heard something crack. A leaf, a branch maybe or just a rat passing by. But that was enough to send her running as fast as she could. Her instinct was the only thing guiding her at this point. She needed to get help, to find people she could trust. She needed to go somewhere safe.

---

All the lights were out inside the house. They probably hadn’t gone home yet. The case could have turned more complicated than anticipated. But she didn’t feel like waiting for them in the street with blood trickling down her arm. She felt dizzy and lightheaded, her throat was sore from the cold autumn breeze and her wound wasn’t getting any better. She climbed the few steps in front of the door, her right hand in front of her in case she tripped. As she got to the door, she kneeled and retrieved her hooks from the sock where she always kept them. Her dad had always told her this skill would come in handy. At the time she didn’t believe him but still let her teach her. It was a fun father-daughter activity after all. But right now, with the pain she was in, she truly blessed him for having weird hobbies.

In three clicks she unlocked the door and stepped inside without worrying about the noise she made. Her head was heavy and relief flooded her as soon as she closed the door behind her. It didn’t matter that her day had ended up worse than the day before. It didn’t matter that this seemed unconceivable yesterday. The fight, Dufour, the chase, all of it was behind her now. She was safe. As she stepped deeper into the house the walls started spinning. The masks on the wall looked like they were mocking her. She felt the urge to dismiss them with the back of her hand. A sharp pain shot through her arm as she lifted it. She cried out and didn’t notice Lockwood coming down the stairs.

“y/n? What are you doing?”

She hadn’t heard him coming and jumped in surprise, prompting another sharp pain in her left arm.

“y/n? What’s wrong? Wait how did you get in?”

At that she smiled faintly. But her head was spinning too much. Her knees buckled. She saw movement in front of her as the floor got closer before she collapsed in the hall.

#lockwood and co fic #lockwood and co #ukuwrites #anthony lockwood x reader #anthony lockwood x y/n #lockwood and co imagine

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gravesung-moving · 4 months ago

Text

quick and dirty bios for the unseen's inner circle (the sanctum)!

bc i just remembered sage and fletch are the only unseen creatures i actually have bios for.

*note — by default, these descriptions apply to the unseen as they are in shelter island. some details are subject to change based on verse. *note 2 — each member of the sanctum has a self-chosen tarot card that's left behind as a "calling card" at a particular job they claim responsibility for. in place of a stolen bounty, on top of a body, etc.

acheron ??? (he/him) — the poisoner

the emperor

dilf

calm, collected, honest but in a kind way. pretty emotionally intelligent.

as a rule, never pries into other people's business. lane = stayed in.

has a son who's in college rn! on good terms with his ex-wife.

ex-safecracker/bank robber

he makes poisons! has a little lab and everything

occasionally fletch will pull him out of retirement and make him go crack a safe. he complains about his knees

norah suman (she/her) — the engineer

the sun

lesbiab

has had a secret crush on seph for a couple years. designed her arms from the ground up, and the first point of contact when something goes wrong or seph needs a redesign/upgrade

dry humor, very blunt and often sarcastic

eyebrow piercing

habit of chopping off her hair when she's sad

makes the gadgets. makes explosives, modifies weapons, invents new shit, always thinking about new ways to do stuff. engineering as an art and a science at the same time.

also an up-and-coming tattoo artist!

orion aisa (he/they) — the forger

the moon

seph's twin brother

not a great fighter, hates using guns

eyepatch over his right eye. fletch took it when he and seph tried to escape as teenagers, along with ripping seph's arms off, which is a very normal and cool and chill reaction to have

trans lad. top surgery, took testosterone for a few years but then stopped. pretty satisfied with where he's at right now

excellent painter

suffers from hand tremors, though they fade when he paints

hector dionísio (he/him) — the muscle

the wheel of fortune

unpredictable and violent. unhinged.

will be having a drink with you and then at a hair-trigger provocation, he'll just turn around and start kicking the shit out of someone

scarily good fighter, way too fast for his muscular build

no one knows why fletch trusts him to be in the inner circle and not rat on them

unexpectedly very reliable as a teammate. he does his job very well

fixated on seph in a "constantly riling her so that she'll fight him whenever he wants" way

fixated on edith in a "why can't i land a hit on you. come here" way

pit fighter. so far undefeated

cody shimura (he/him) — the accountant

justice

the most guy ever

he's so tired.

retired hedge fund manager, went into crime because he did some digging, realized the finance industry was already in fletch's pocket anyway, and his ability to stealthily uncover those secrets impressed fletch enough to hire him on.

tries to be a plant dad but he keeps killing them

surprisingly well-trained with a gun

occasionally pulls out the most scathing one-liners in the quietest and calmest voice imaginable

sage / VECTOR (she/her) — the driver

the world

technomancer (arcane hacker)

pokemon superfan

harvard dropout

a pretty normal person, generally, probably the least traumatized out of the crew

can summon cars / motorcycles made of, essentially, compressed/hardened demon souls sourced straight from hell

also has normal, non-summonable cars / motorcycles that she likes to augment and fix up with norah's help

has a giant fluffy dog named Baby

fucking Maniac behind the wheel. the dog's name is a reference to baby driver for a reason.

if she knew about @tewwor's vector alias, she would make them matching shirts

edith winter (she/they) — the thief

the hermit

sneaky. quiet. wow shocker

fey changeling who's lived on earth their whole life, but is in contact with the human child they replaced

raised by wolves a gang, sort of collectively alongside her parents. it takes a village yaknow. they all had a hand in training her to be the insanely skilled thief she is — edith was probably the most valuable piece on their board, even at a young age

said gang was absorbed by the unseen and scattered across the world for resisting said absorption. one of edith's parents was killed in the conflict, the other was sent across the world but she doesn't know where

no one knows if they're bitter about it or not. they don't talk about it

acheron taught her how to crack safes

caro vitale / deadfall (he/him) — the fence

the hanged man

owner of the black stag, a bar and antique shop just at the northern edge of the city where metropolis meets highway meets forest.

can sell anything to anyone

no one knows a single thing about this man except for the fact that he's fluent in italian. he WILL lie if you ask him anything else. caro vitale is also not his real name

he got that thang on him (a club)

tattoos everywhere

ishal king (they/them) — the doctor

death

fae nephilim (an angel fucked an archfey and produced a very strange kid), exiled from the autumn court for death crimes before going into the human medical field as a surgeon.

nearly got arrested for experimenting with nephilim blood (their own, but whatever guys), faked their death, joined the unseen. now works happily and privately for fletch in their silly little lab.

mushroom garden

medicinal plant expert alongside their knowledge of modern medicine

ominous positivity

anah tannar (she/her) — the spy

the lovers, reversed

you know her! you love her! she's probably broken your heart!

local celebrity influencer

resident honeypot for any woman-attracted target

prefers to be flashy and stand out, but also insanely good at blending in and being invisible when need be

serial dater. never lets anyone too close, but loves to have a web of one-way connections to people who think they're her best friend or favorite ex, and/or owe her a favor (she has a book of debts)

a genuinely compassionate person underneath it all, she just leaned hard into her manipulative side after being used one too many times

persephone aisa (they/she) — the assassin

judgement

first lieutenant/right hand to amari fletch, and thus second-in-command to the unseen itself

sharpshooter, beat-upper, gunfighter, knife-swinger. if john wick can do it, so can they

cold, aggressive, hostile. deadly as fuck. if you follow this blog you probably came from hers so i won't go into too much detail SJDKHJKSD

amari fletch (they/he) — the leader

the tower (also the name they're publicly known by)

i swear they're not secretly thousands of years old i swearrrrr (yes they are) (they cheated death in a game of dice and bear the mark of cain for it)

think gus fring, netflix wilson fisk, silco — that type of person

spidery motherfucker, aka has connections eeeeverywhere. so many judges, cops, government officials in their pocket.

for the most part, fletch is satisfied with the world the way that it is. the unseen profits nicely, they have as much power as they need, and no one fucks with them (if they even know it exists)

if someone does fuck with him and his, however, he will not hesitate to make a violent and chaotic example of them for the rest of the world to see.

calm and levelheaded 99% of the time. 1% of the time, off-the-wall destructive

will take risks if they can see a benefit and the consequence of failure won't fuck up their plans.

extremely powerful in a fight (is not human) with enough raw strength to fully charge straight through a building wall by wall if they wanted to. but they don't. lmao

seph is their protegé (????) (i genuinely don't have a term for their relationship it's so fucked up and hard to describe), & they are very very possessive about it

#muse drop.#fletch meta.#unseen meta.#the sanctum meta.#sage meta.#acheron meta.#anah meta.#etc etc

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fizzytaste · 7 months ago

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KINK CONTENT DON'T LIKE DON'T READ

As promised, here I'm with my dungeon meshi headcanons part2 now its time for Senshi and Marcille

Senshi

Ok, on one hand, I think he would be very chill about generally, he sees it as just a normal bodily function and if you need to do it, you should just do it. I can even see him giving a litttle lecture on how holding it in is bad for your health and there's nothing to be ashamed of. If someone did it on accident after a meal or something, he will just smile and assure them it's fine and maybe that it's even a "compliment to the chef".

But on the other hand he canonically cares about table manners, so I would say he would get quite frustrated to see someone doing it on purpose just to be annoying, gross or funny and would also give a lecture on how that's not good and can also make you sick (the person receiving the lecture is prob Izutsumi). I would say he doesn't think excusing yourself is always necessary, but at least making an effort to muffle the sound is, especially in a dungeon.

He applies the same rules to himself, except that I do think he'll always excuse himself (its like, "other people don't have to do it but I can always be a good role model!"), but generally, if he has to burp, he'll just do it, unless he's in a formal situation or needs to be quiet. I can picture he putting a fist over his mouth and then casually excusing himself, not too worried about it.

He doesn't have any skill related to it, like doing it on command or burping words because he doesn't see the point, he finds it weird, actually, that some people would see it as a party trick or something when it's just, again, a bodily function. He would also never participate in a burping contest, unless idk he was really bored and really trying to bond with the people around him and it would still take a good amount of convincing.

Now, I don't think he would burp very often, for a variety of reasons 1) I don't know if that's true for the dungeon meshi universe, but for what I know dwarfs generally have stronger stomachs 2) He knows how to pace himself when eating and wouldn't be swallowing a lot of air 3) He has a very good understanding of which foods work for him and which ones don't.

I think his burps are a little bit below average for a dwarf (which translates as a little above average) and that they aren't very loud, but they're very deep and can be quite long. He'll make an effort to muffle them, but it's always going to be at least a little audible.

Marcille

From the main four she's definitely the one that's more grossed out by it. Mostly she'll just roll her eyes, groan and maybe mumble some insult, but if she's in a particularly bad mood she may actually snap and scold whoever did it for being loud (normally Laios) or not excusing themselves (normally Chilchuck).

Of course because of that she doesn't know how to burp on command or anything like that and would never participate in a burping contest, she thinks only someone incredibly vulgar would do any of those things

All that being said, the universe must really hate her because her burps are loud. Very loud. Explosions of sound. So loud she can't even properly muffle them. And she tries her hardest to, trying to hold it as much as she can (which just makes it worse in the long run) and if she has to, keep her mouth shut and covered by her hand (also always excuses herself, multiple times even), but it's not enough. She hates it, she gets actually angry at herself for this, but there isn't much she can do. The others don't even taunt her about it anymore (unless she's being particularly insistent with her scolding), because she gets actually sad and so ashamed its painful to be reminded of it.

I have more so once again if this gets likes I'll post them

#burping #burp kink #eructo #eructophilia #dungeon meshi

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akiumzeno · 7 months ago

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A giant rant/critique about redeemable Villain LIs in otomes/dating VNs

Before I get into the rant, let me say a few disclaimers/notes. Tropes are tools. Just because a dating game or VN has a redeemable villain LI doesn't automatically mean it makes it bad. It does not and I will argue against that if you think that's the case (likewise if you think a game having a redeemable Villain LI automatically makes it good). There have been cases of certain tropes that work well in a certain story because of the execution and how it goes. Tropes very much rely on how you use them which impacts the story. This is just discussing times when it has been used badly and turns a VN that could've been great or memorable into something that's just okay.

With that out of the way, let's get onto the rant.

For those who don't know me, I play Genius Inc otome games. Their games aren't really consistent in quality, some are better or worse because they hire different writers for different stories. So for context, a lot of my criticism is aimed at them but can still apply to other VNs and otomes as well.

(Also, I know there are the female LI games from Genius Inc, I know they exist, never played them so idk if they follow this rule and it's only the men-likers that follow this.)

I was just reading Amon's side story from Lullaby of Demonia and it really just reminded me of why I have a love-hate relationship with Genius Inc and their games. They have a crippling amount of villain LIs that don't tend to be written well which can boil down to 2 main problems.

They make the MCs stupidly empathic for no reason.

Empathy can be a strength of one's character sometimes. A big example I can name is Tohru Honda from Fruits Basket and I find her to be actually good. But man, I find myself just shouting at the screen for the MC endangering themselves by trying to touch the villain LI's heart when their instincts should be to run or fight back. A lot of the poor examples of a villain LI romance have the MC just risk their own safety and ignore any sense of self-preservation for no reason other than the possibility of trying to redeem the villain LI and even more infuriating if the villain LI is a genocidal maniac and/or desperately wishes the MC to suffer or die.

I get that there's the ideal of "there's good in everyone" but sometimes, you need to draw the line or get me to care about why they care. Suppose you have this villain LI who has killed thousands of people and committed war crimes but has emotional trauma. In that case, I'm more likely to pity them but still hold them accountable for their actions because a sad story doesn't justify doing bad things. I don't support the MC trying to redeem them of all the horrible shit they did because as far as I'm concerned, they're a complete monster.

And a lot of the time with these monstrous types of villain LIs, the MC has no reason to care to redeem villain LIs, they just simply do because of their wildly empathetic heart and don't care what they have done to others or themselves which seems less empathetic and more childishly naive. If these VNs just gave the MC a reason to care for the villain LI strongly and want them to be a better person aside from them just being hot and let me see why they want to, I could still at least understand them. But they just don't. A lot of the time, these villain LIs are strangers and I just can't see why they'd get so worked up over them, especially since there tend to be other guys they can get but choose this one for no apparent reason.

Like imagine a scenario where there's a villain LI who has done horrible stuff and the MC wants them to be redeemed and be a good person. But the twist is they used to be friends or something more, hell maybe the MC even played a part in the reason why the villain LI is the way they are. The MC desperately wants them to be the person they used to know and wishes to share those moments of joy and fun again and keeps endangering themselves for that small hope they can touch their old friend's heart again and regain the person they loved.

Or perhaps the MC was in the exact same shoes as the villain LI and they used to be a villain as well. They laid waste to many villages and cities, killing dozens because of their own trauma/grief/backstory reasons. But there was someone who decided to lend out a hand to them and try to heal them and convince them that they could be a better person. And it succeeded. They let go of their villainy and atone for their mistakes, fixing up the villages they destroyed, providing support for the loved ones of those they killed, etc. Years later, they're now the hero of the story and are finally confronted with a villain who also has been burnt and is lashing against the world for it. And all they can see is themselves. So they try to use kind words and thoughtful gestures to help guide them onto the path they are now on and show them the light in an attempt to give them the chance they had, even as others discourage them and say they should just imprison or kill the villain.

Now I might not exactly agree with their actions in each scenario but I would understand them and that's all I need. "If your protagonist wants something no one else cares about, you gotta give us some emotional explanation as to why, otherwise, it just seems random." - There Will Be Fudd

2. The villain has a weak reason to be sympathetic.

Too many times, I've seen villains have such a weak reason for them to be considered redeemable or in other words, their actions far outweigh their reasons.

A prime example I can name is Sakuya from Soul of Yokai. While in the first season, it had always been implied he had a sad story behind him. However, a beauty about the implications and small pieces that told you he had a sympathetic backstory behind him without getting into the nitty gritty details was that the audience could fill in the blank. The audience could see he was a genocidal maniac who wishes all humans would die (for context, he's not a human), see small bits of pieces of "One day, Sakuya suddenly changed from being a loving person to a ruthless murderer," "This gift [an injured eye] was from a human, just like you," "You're not fooling anyone with that nice human act," and "You sound like her... before..." and immediately understand that a human girl met him (without anyone else knowing), he fell in love with her before she betrayed him and the act was so vile that he decided the rest of humanity should burn down alongside with her. That's all we needed to know and knowing exactly what happened would only just cheapen the entire thing because the audience could imagine for themselves what was so horrible that it completely changed Sakuya and he wouldn't dare speak about it because it was that horrific. Then we get to Season 2 just to discover that what happened was that the girl in question just cheated on him and suddenly what turned from a beautiful and alluring mystery to suddenly wondering why Sakuya simply just hated only the girl or just abandoned his love for humans without killing them. Sure, a lot of people cheat on their lovers but that's not an action that deserves death.

While this is a very specific case, my point is that because of Sakuya's actions of attempting genocide, simply not telling what happened to him was more effective than knowing he got cheated on because of the "Noodle Incident"-esque nature of Sakuya's backstory simply revealed that a horrific event happened to Sakuya which left him traumatised in which humans were the cause of the event which made him become a genocidal murderer. With actions as severe as his, you're expecting an equally severe incident that would justify or explain what he's doing. And in a case where your villain (LI) is committing literal war crimes, it's possible you can't even come up with a reason that explains what he's doing and you're better off just leaving hints at a sad story without fully knowing what that sad story is. Even if Sakuya's backstory ended up being something stronger, it wouldn't have worked as much because it's likely that whatever the writer made wasn't going to be as horrific as the audience imagined.

And to bring it to a more general level, a villain LI needs a reason that is equal to their villainy to convince you that they're redeemable. If your supposed redeemable villain has done evil but nothing horrific, then they can get a milder sympathetic story to equal to what they have done because it's equal although you can do something more extreme and it wouldn't bring down their redeemability. Have a more monstrous villain LI, you'll need a stronger reason for why they are the way they are or doing a Sakuya and keeping the backstory vague, depending on which angle works best for your story.

If your villain has an insufficient reason for being sympathetic, I find that worse than them just being evil for no reason because I can at least get behind that. Attempting to make them sympathetic just makes me roll my eyes that you're trying to make them feel for them rather than committing to them just being evil. And trying to make them sympathetic solely to date them just makes it feel forced and unnatural which is one of the types of writing you should never strive for.

#otome games #otome game #otome #visual novel #dating sim #vn #genius inc

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deepblueeyess · 1 year ago

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13 Things I Learned in High School

*during, and post high school

[ everything that I write here is a note to myself first, before a note to anyone ]

1. The years you spent in high school doesn't and shouldn't determine your life next. Your dedication, the way you show up everyday, your will and your action does.

2. Friends are important, but not really.

Well. Controversial? maybe. But, think about it like this. If you happen to find good friends, who makes you feel happy and lead you to good things, great. Good for you then. But, what happens when you're stuck in a place full of entah naon-naon people? ha? I mean, go out there, socialize, befriend them, but set a boundary. Keep the friendships going, get those social interactions in because you don't wanna go solo in life—that's not good at all no matter how much you hate the people around you, but that's it. Guess what's so much more important than friends? Your self. Your mental health. Your well being. Your principles. The things you value. Period.

ps : It's also very unlikely you'll see them again after high school tho, so just—you know.

3. Don't, like do not ever take studying for granted, babes. Just don't. I don't think we need any further explanation here, so ya.

4. Don't break too many rules.

I myself broke way too much rules in high school, yes and please don't copy and I'm not proud of it at all, but it can't be helped ngeles aja lu gila because of some reasons I'm not really comfortable saying. Breaking rules would do no one good. To yourself? You're gonna feel guilty as hell. Your teachers? God, you're probably on their blacklist. Your friends? You will not have their respect ha-ha-ha, and they're gonna see you as nekat as well—overall, it's just not it. I'll say it again, don't break rules. You're not gonna have to obey them at all after high school tho, so just hang in there. Love <3

5. Respect all your teachers. Well. Do I have to say anything about this? Respect your teacher loves, period.

6. High school lasts for three years only! for all of us in Indo, yes.

It's not even that long. It'll only take up like, what, not even one third of your life only if your life's long tho hehe so it's really really short. If you think high school is one of the happiest moment in your life, then, know that, it's not gonna last forever. And the opposite applies as well, if to you, high school is one of your worst moment ever, know that, it doesn't last forever.

So, live your high school phase wisely!

7. It's just classmates, not life-mates.

Don't freak out! your relationship with them would end after school ends. Chill, you're not gonna be seeing them forever. It's so good for you if you think you've found one of your potential life-mate there, your potential for-life friend, but if you don't, please don't think you really should.

8. When someone doesn't understand you, it's not the end of the world.

In fact, in high school, I found numbers of people who just doesn't understand me. At all. And at times, I don't understand people too. And that's totally okay. It's life. Life happens. Not everybody should agree with one and one shouldn't agree with everyone as well.

Don't be too sad, you'll find people who will understand you. A lot. So much than you would expect.

9. Some people are born weird. Straight up. For no reason at all.

Mungkin mereka terlalu jahat, terlalu baik, terlalu gila? Terlalu naif, terlalu polos, terlalu menggelikan, terlalu licik? Terlalu brutal, terlalu sangar, atau terlalu santai? Atau terlalu sedeng, terlalu tolol, terlalu percaya diri, terlalu minder, terlalu gatel, terlalu nyolot, dan terlalu-terlalu yang lainnya? (I'm just including as many example I can supaya bisa ter-relate oleh dirimu ya).

Orang-orang memang gila. Memang aneh. Mungkin kamu akan kaget dan tidak menyangka kalau ada orang aneh di dunia ini karena tidak pernah bertemu model yang seperti itu sebelumnya, tapi ayo percayalah bahwa eksistensi makhluk aneh di muka bumi ini itu ada banyak sekali.

Also—apakah kamu kerap berteriak ke layar smartphone mu sendiri karena tidak kuat menahan tingkah laku kelewat freak seseorang dari sekolahmu? Sama. Tapi yang pasti adalah, itu semua bukan tanggung jawabmu.

Bukan salahmu mereka begitu. Bukan karena kamu. Ada atau tidak adanya kamu di dunia ini, mereka akan tetap aneh. Ada atau tidaknya kamu di hidup mereka pun, mereka akan tetap aneh. Some people are just born aneh! Period.

10. It's more temporary than you think.

Poin yang ini mungkin bunyinya rada mirip sama poin nomor enam, tapi, ini beda.

Kalau lagi berada di momen atau fase tertentu, kita kadang suka punya kecenderungan berpikir kalau itu tuh bakal selamanya. Atau paling enggak, ini tuh akan berlangsung dalam waktu yang lama sekali. Kita suka overestimate the time, the length, the duration of it. Padahal ga begitu juga harusnya. Semuanya lebih sementara dari yang kita kira. Before we know it, it ends. Oke, hal-hal buruk akan terasa lebih lama dijalani ketimbang hal-hal baik. Tapi lama bukan selamanya. Jadi, jangan memperlakukannya demikian.

In high school, if we don't really think of it as 'temporary', we'll tend to be more attached to it. To everything in it. We base our whole life worth to it, we attach our own identity to the whole high school experience itself. When we finally graduate, if we happen to love high school so much, we'll became really-really sad, and suddenly our life lost meanings. And then we ended up missing our friends so much, missing the school, the teacher, the classroom even, all the situations—and we might ended up romanticizing our past a little too much. While it's normal to miss our past, missing it 'too much' is never good. We can't hold on and cling to it forever. Yourself not growing properly as you should to because you miss high school days a lot is the last thing you want to happen. Cherish and treasure all the memories, be grateful for it, but then, let it go.

In the contrary, let's say that high school was horrible for you. But you don't really think of it and treat it as something temporary. And then you fight to death all the evilness of it (let's assume you are and this is what you're thinking of doing), you hated it so much you wanna cry. Then high school ends. What happens? Same thing. Your life lost it meanings. What are your purpose? In life? In yourself? You don't know. You don't know because you lost focus. During high school, all you're thinking is; this place is hell, goddamnit I hate it so much, It'll never get any better, I can't wait to get out of here, when you're not really doing anything! You're not taking any actions at all, really. You're just—busy thinking and feeling. Once you graduate, can you imagine how empty you're gonna feel? You'll probably be like, oh, God, it ends! It can end! But, what do I do now? What I was doing the entire time? Oh God, what a loss! Instead of being busy building a purposeful, meaningful life, I let all of this negativity took a lead of my life! No!

You don't want it, do you?

11. Pay attention in class and you'll make this world a far greater place—hehe this one might sound a little bit too exaggerated, but I do think so?

ps : I don't really know how to put it the right way, I'm really sorry if this one sounds way too vague and abstract now, I'll try to come back here and make an edit once I do find a better 'delivery' ! :-)

12. Stay true to who you are. It's never worth it to try being someone you're not in order to 'blend in'.

I personally struggled a lot in between the search of 'sense of belonging' in high school as well as having this strong desire to just be my own self, unapologetically. It was really hard to find the middle ground, so guess what I ended up doing? I choose to be myself. I let go of this feeling of wanting to belong. It took me a lot of very, very careful considerations to finally be able to decide on this. My final decisions was that, okay, perhaps I just don't belong. Straight up. This place isn't for me, but this place happen to be a part of my life path. Let's just..live it.

When I first made this clear on my head and started taking actions accordingly, I thought I would lose so many people and ended up being so lonely. And I did. But guess what also happened? I met so many like-minded people. I effortlessly attracted people with the same interest as me, a similar mindset, quite a similar hobby, beliefs, lifestyle, goals, purposes, etc. Things that I know very well I wouldn't have gotten at all if I just, you know, conform.

At the end of the day, you don't even have to conform if you don't want to. Who cares? Live your life as you please as long as you're not hurting anybody—you do you!

13. Just live! Just live it. Embrace each and every moment. Life is soo beautiful. Your journey is soo beautiful! Too beautiful to miss out on. Too beautiful to not be present at.

so that's it, 13 things that I learned in high school, even the number thirteen itself it's super philosophical because it is linked to something throughout my school experience—omg nobody asks, but,

I hope this resonates with you, I hope you find this helpful, I hope you enjoy reading this. See you!

❤️, Nadia.

#high school #school life #senior year #mental health #positive attitude

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lexa-gui · 2 years ago

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Motivated by this poll post

Ahaaaa, time to share my brainrot with the world! \o/

Here's a cleaned up version of my ted talk that absolutely no one asked for on why 'Sunlight' by Hozier is the best merthur song:

The whole vibe of the song. It's incredibly reverential -- a perfect Merlin pov on Arthur.

Sunlight is a perfect and well-known analogy for Arthur in fandom -- the glorious golden airs and all that. Remember that scene in The wicked day where Arthur comes out of the room after spending all night mourning his father and you see him appearing over Merlin's shoudler basked in sunlight? Perfect visuals.

The song starts out with our POV subject shunning sunlight (for like 3 lines) -- I would shun the light, share in evening's cool and quiet/ Who would trade that hum of night/ For sunlight, sunlight, sunlight. What happens at the beginning of the show? Merlin meets arthur and he is *not* a fan.

(Rip Merlin's patience lol)

Immediately the POV subject changes his mind though, and goes on to say "But whose heart would not take flight?/ Betray the moon as acolyte/ On first and fierce affirming sight/ Of sunlight, sunlight, sunlight". And what happens? Merlin needs one (1) bit of attention and validation from Arthur in episode 2 to go: 'Oop, guess I'll devote my life to him'.

(Look at his boi, he is *so gone*)

"I had been lost to you, sunlight/ And flew like a moth to you, sunlight, oh, sunlight" -- The reverential tone remains, and I associate this part with 'Le mort d'Artur', when Merlin thought Arthur was lost to him, and refused to accept it. He did everything he could to stop it,

which leads us to: "All the tales the same/ Told before and told again" that can be associated with Merlin going above and beyond, riking his own life in the process, to save Arthur's. The cup is even a recurring symbol here.

"A soul that's born in cold and rain/ Knows sunlight, sunlight, sunlight/ And at last can grant a name/ To a buried and a burning flame/ As love and its decisive pain/ Oh, my sunlight, sunlight, sunlight," this part would fit in great in a 'queer in a hostile world' narrative. One could say he's been denying that part of himself for incredibly long, but when it (sunlight/Arthur/love) shines, it's so absolute and consuming that there can only be one name for it even if he's never applied it before or didn't even think he knew how to.

And "love and it's decisive pain" also hammers in the fact that this is a tragedy, because (as we all well know) it ends in pain.

"All that was shown to me, sunlight/ Was somethin' foreknown to me, sunlight, oh sunlight" We can even take this literally for everytime Merlin told Arthur he would be 'the greatest king this land has ever known' so candidly it seemed he could feel it in his very bones. Because he's been told and retold about that prophecy so many times, and every little thing that Arthur does that implies he might be the man for it, just drive Merlin's determination further. It's something Merlin has known and believed with all his heart since almost the literal beginning.

"Oh, and these colors fade for you only/ Hold me, carry me slowly, my sunlight" Merlin's mood is almost 99% of the time related to Arthur. When he's down and Arthur mentions he hasn't smiled for 3 days -- it's about him -- everytime he's sad about his impeding doom, he's the one causing it to save Arthur from the same fate -- plus we have all those times where he's sad because Arthur's not appreciating him or is mean to him, etc.

"Each day, you'd rise with me/ Know that I would gladly be/ The Icarus to your certainty" I really love this part (and the next). Here we can see that Merlin is always by Arthur's side, every single day ("He's always been there -- at Arthur's side" from Gwen), and he knows to some degree of certainty that the affection and care he feels for Arthur is somewhat returned (Servant of Two Masters) -- or even the certainty that Arthur is alive and well and ruling would be enough. It just emboldens his devotion and willingness to do everything and anything to protect him ("Whatever I have to do, I will do. His life is worth a 100 of mine." to Nimueh), including giving up his own life, like we see time and time again. And Arthur is the sun in this analogy, so Merlin being Icarus means he doesn't care whether he singes his wings if he gets too close to him -- because it's worth it ("I'm happy to be your servant, until the day I die" to Arthur). He doesn't care what happens to him as long as he can be at his side ("I swear I will protect you or die at your side"). Which we also see time and time again, and Merlin's own priorities change from 'bringing magic back to the land' -- his destiny -- to keeping Arthur alive. He gives up on magic and betrays his own kind for Arthur in The Disir ("There can be no place for magic in Camelot").

(the certainty of Arthur's care, which they so rudely cut from the show :(( )

And this part just reaffirms this: "Oh, my sunlight, sunlight, sunlight/ Strap the wing to me/ Death trap clad happily/ With wax melted, I'd meet the sea/ Under sunlight, sunlight, sunlight". He'd happily go to his death -- for Arthur.

And then it just ends and goes on with "Oh, your love is sunlight/ Oh, your love is sunlight/ But it is sunlight" Which would again be an analogy for Arthur's love <3.

And this ted talk has been completed.

(Also if you wanna check out the vid I did with this song click here ehehe).

Disclaimer: this is my interpretation of a song and a ship, other ships and interpretations are just as valid and never do I mean to put anyone down for having different opinions.

#merthur #merlin x arthur #bbc merlin #merlin #merlin bbc #sunlight #hozier #alex goes crazy in 1k words #and rants into the void of tumblr

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aceinacloset · 2 years ago

Text

FNAF Encyclopedia Judgement part: 3

Golden Freddy page(s)

Golden Freddy is one of many favorite characters of mine, so if I seem a little harsh it’s just because I would expect better for a very important character, as well as better from them and for us Fnaf fans. Anyway let’s begin the carnage 😊

Golden Freddy- “In Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria, gold strikes YOU. ”

Haha ‘in Soviet Russia’ meme… but really you couldn’t do the Iconic line ‘IT’S ME’. Like was that the best you could come up with?

[ Data File]

While with Golden Freddy’s Game appearances I do count any iteration of Fredbear as an appearance, as long as those applies to the rules. The only one I refuse to believe is an appearance, is the Fredbear plush in the private room in Sister Location because that isn’t really Golden Freddy. That Fredbear plush feels like their own character, so much so I wish they got their own page, I wanted to know more about that “paranormal” bear. Yet this book just classifies him as another Golden Freddy… sad...real sad.

Wait a minute, doesn't Golden Freddy appear in the Fazbear Fright story ‘The New Kid’? I’m not crazy, he was there. Doesn’t he also appear in the Silver eyes Book… I hate those books really, but at least acknowledge he was there. Why are there no book appearances? Am I wrong?... god this book is making me second guess myself.

[first paragraph?]

I feel there was so much more that could have been said to describe Golden Freddy, yeah he looks like Freddy but maybe bring up his past as Fredbear to explain differences and similarities, maybe bring up that lovely Chomp of ‘83.

I at least appreciate the reference to his rare easter egg in Fnaf 1, which I got once when I was younger… good memories.

[second page, first paragraph]

I mean all this info is nice but are you not going to talk about golden freddy’s other appearances or the cutscene in UCN, golden freddy’s ghostly nature that could bring into question if golden freddy is more paranormal then we think he is or even bring up about the possible spirits that inhabit him… no…ok…

This book has a big problem with describing things that don’t need to be described because they don’t actually tell us anything about the character. Also some of this info I feel is in the freddy files, so it being here just feels unnecessary.

[‘Who’s in There?’]

You know they could answer the whole statement ‘BuT eXaCtLy WhAt He Is, We DoN’t KnOw.’ If they actually bothered to acknowledge bits of his character like the possible spirits haunting him or his reasoned aggression towards Afton, but no why bother actually answering questions we as a fandom have had about this character for like ever? Let's keep everything vague…goody goody…

Why talk about Withered Golden Freddy’s mechanic in Fnaf 2 and not in UCN when you use the death coin on him as that actually gives info on his character, specifically one of the possible spirits that haunt him…

[first Golden Freddy Image]

I wish they used the fredbear UCN image as it would really reinforce Golden Freddy’s intimidating nature. And again text that is unnecessary, maybe give simple info about Golden Freddy, maybe the phrase ‘The One You Should Not Have Killed.’

[big Image]

Just wasted space, why have him in the corner of the image. Text is just unnecessary, maybe bring up the death coin since that Image is from UCN. (How dare you call Golden Freddy junk >:( .)

In general, Golden Freddy’s page sucks. It talks about him in only Fnaf 1 and 2, none of his other appearances throughout the series, which I believe is important to talk about with how story important this character is. Love yah Golden Freddy, but your Encyclopedia pages gets a 2/10.

#fnaf #fivenightsatfreddys #fnaf encyclopedia #golden freddy #why you gotta do Golden Freddy like that...#aceinacloset rambles

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ruhrohrps · 2 years ago

Note

fairfordrp mentioned needing one muse being a part of the bipoc community if you’ve applied as two characters but none of their members and muses really represent that rule

Sorry if this took a while for me to get to.

I wanted to be sure that I looked at the group, their rules and characters before responding.

I placed everything under the 'read more'

They have a sort of odd rule that's very specified, "When joining the group, you are allowed to apply for TWO muses to begin with. If you choose to bring in two muses, one MUST be a member of the BIPOC community."

So, basically, if you're bringing in two muses AT THE SAME TIME, RIGHT OFF THE BAT, one has to be BIPOC.

Overall, their BIPOC rule is "Out of the possible eight muses you can play, three (at the absolute minumum) must be BIPOC."

I do not see any muns with 8 muses, so I will not be discussing that rule, but I felt the need to add it for those who will read this post to better get an understanding of this group's rules on BIPOC diversity.

So, Nonnie, I am seeing that there are 14 characters altogether. 7 are from the admin team, and the other 7 are from the 5 members.

When looking at the admins; one has 4 characters (1 is BIPOC); the next admin has 1 character who is white; the third admin has 2 characters who are both white. The loophole with their rule is that they had to have brought 2 characters in RIGHT OFF THE BAT in order for the second character to be BIPOC. So, it's dependent on timing of bringing in the characters. From what I have seen (granted, I haven't checked each individual one), these characters are being picked up on a spaced-out basis as opposed to all at the same time, and just starting off. Which, it's sneaky, but they'd be following their rule - cause they're not picking up 2 characters at the same time, it's not the start of the roleplay, ect.

Now, looking at players. The first brought in an fc who is Turkish. The second brought in a black fc. The third brought a Thai fc and then a white FC. The fourth brought an Indigenous Brazilian fc and then a white fc. And then the last player brought a white fc.

Out of their roleplay there are 3/14 who fit in the BIPOC category (from my quick check of the fcs), but you also have to look at it like who fit that rule and had to bring a BIPOC into the group? In order for the rule to take place, they needed to have picked up 2 characters at once in order to have to bring the BIPOC faceclaim in.

So from what I have gathered, they are following the rule - it's just a dumb one? Like, maybe they should change their rule to the second character (no matter WHEN they are being brought in), needs to be BIPOC. It's also sad to see how lacking in BIPOC the admin team is (only 1/7), when they are trying to push this diversity in their own group.

They did make a post regarding being open and looking for ways to improve, recently. So maybe you can stop by and pitch and idea or two to help with the diversity of BIPOC in the group. {POST TAGGED HERE}

#rpt #rph #rpc #fairfordrp

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silverynight · 2 years ago

Text

Comfort omega

<---Previous

Chapter 2

The next day he's back at the office, he does all the paperwork for his last assignment trying not to think too much about Bakugo. Which is contradicting because he's the last alpha he helped calm down yesterday.

Izuku sighs, sitting in front of his computer as he hears his fellow comfort omegas walking around the office. He likes his job, although he still thinks about applying for a position in Hatsume's company; he's always liked to design and make hero suits, he has a couple of ideas already for the pro heroes working at the moment, but he's not sure if his ideas are good enough.

He likes what he does now, because this way, even though he doesn't have a quirk, he can still help people. However, Izuku has never thought about this job as a permanent one due to the fact that it requires the omegas to stay unmated.

It makes sense; the alphas who have snapped or have been consumed by their instincts are very unstable, they wouldn't react very well if they saw a permanent mark or smelled another alpha all over the omega who's trying to comfort them. In the best case scenario, they just completely reject the omega, in the worst they become violent and possessive.

Izuku doesn't want to mate just yet, he hasn't met anyone he wants to spend the rest of his life with, but he's sure he wants to do that eventually. He wants to have a couple of pups as well.

"Good morning!" An omega girl says, smiling happily as she leans over his desk.

She's been working there longer than he has.

"Morning! Are you going out on an assignment today?"

"In a couple of minutes, although there's nothing to worry about, just a couple of nervous alphas. They said it's just a robbery."

Another one. They've been having a lot of those lately.

"Who are the pro heroes?" Izuku asks, curious.

"We still don't know until we get there, Aoyama is coming with me as well!"

Aoyama is a really good comfort omega, he's also a very good friend of Izuku's, they understand each other better than anyone else because they're the only quirkless ones.

"That's not why she's here though, mon ami," Aoyama pops up from behind the girl and pushes her aside to hug the green haired omega and nuzzle against his cheek.

Izuku chuckles, before moving away to see his friend better.

"What is it then?"

"Everyone is talking about your latest assignment. Is it true you got to comfort Dynamight?" She asks, already excited.

"Uhh... Yes, I did," he mumbles, deciding that it's better if no one finds out that the alpha was his childhood friend and bully at some point.

"He didn't hurt you, did he?" She asks, excitement vanishing for a moment to be replaced with concern. Aoyama looks worried too.

"No, of course not!" Izuku says immediately, trying to fight his irritation, he's not sure why it bothers him so much the fact that they believe Bakugo could do something like that. "I know everyone says he's aggressive and maybe he is a bit when he's around villains, but he's not bad like some of people claim he is. He's... He was very kind to me."

"Oh, no! That's worse!" The omega girl says, confusing Izuku for a moment. "I mean I could deal with him being an ass... But him being good and hot is too much for me!"

Both Izuku and Aoyama chuckle at that.

"I hope I get to comfort him next!"

"You shouldn't do that, if you're planning to be serious about him," Izuku finds himself saying suddenly, there's something that makes him feel a little bit sad about the thought, but he pushes those weird feelings aside quickly. "You know we can't get attached to the alphas we're–"

"Pff!" The omega rolls her eyes. "You know that rule has been broken so many times! A couple of omegas have met their perfect matches working here!"

Yes, and some omegas have gotten their hearts broken as well, but Izuku decides not to say that out loud.

"Just be careful..."

"Don't worry about me, Midoriya!" She says before Aoyama pulls her towards the entrance.

"Come on, we need to go," he says before grinning back at Izuku and adding: "I'll see you tonight!"

The green haired omega nods, before turning towards his computer again; Izuku had forgotten for a moment that every week Aoyama and he stay in his house to watch a couple of movies together.

***

Just a couple of hours later, he gets another assignment; there are a few tense pro heroes who just captured three villains trying to kidnap a group of teenage girls.

Sometimes it's not what happens during the battle what affects an alpha, but the suffering of the victims.

Fortunately, Izuku gets enough information from the paramedics to figure out the girls are mostly fine, although they're still nervous and scared. He really hopes they get reunited with their families soon.

"You're a comfort omega, right?"

Izuku turns around and immediately recognizes Red Riot; the omega enjoys reading about pro heroes and knows a couple (maybe a lot) of things about them. He blinks a couple of times, reminding himself he's not there as a fan... He's doing his job.

"Yes," he nods, noticing the sour scent coming from the pro hero. He's obviously sad. "Is it okay if I touch you?"

Instead of a reply, Red Riot spreads his arms and Izuku jumps into the embrace. He makes sure to release a calming scent.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I prefer not to," the alpha mumbles, looking like he doesn't want to disappoint him.

"It's alright!" Izuku assures him, nuzzling against his cheek; he's glad the alpha is not using his quirk at the moment.

"I can't believe you got yourself the prettiest one, Kirishima!" Pinky rushes towards them, alpha scent getting stronger with every step she takes. "I want him to hug me too!"

She's another pro hero Izuku is a fan of, but he must remain professional so he decides to help her find another omega because he can tell she's tense as well.

"Come here, Ashido!" Red Riot grins, before Izuku can say or do anything. "I don't mind!"

Usually it's not good to comfort two alphas at the same time, especially ones who have gone through a difficult situation, because most alphas are possessive and jealous, even if part of them are aware the omega who's helping them doesn't belong to them.

However, these two seem to be more than okay with sharing, as Izuku finds out a second later when Pinky hugs them both. Suddenly, the omega is trapped in between two alphas who are nuzzling against his cheeks.

"You're the cutest thing I've ever seen!" Pinky mumbles happily against him.

"Thanks," Izuku says, feeling a little bit flustered. When he notices they're feeling better, he starts moving away. "I think we should go now. The paramedics might want to check on you."

They're really nice, Izuku likes them.

***

Both Eijiro and Ashido go back to the agency, feeling way better already. The omega is really good at what he does.

"We should've asked him for his number," Ashido tells him. "I can tell we'd become friends in no time. Maybe we can introduce him to Blasty so he's not grumpy anymore..."

Eijiro tries not to grin at her, he knows exactly what his friend is thinking.

"I believe comfort omegas are not allowed to mate..."

"That's not fair!" Ashido pouts. "Listen, I have a natural matchmaker talent and I can assure you he's the perfect omega for Blasty."

"I wouldn't want to expose that cinnamon roll to Bakugo's temper, that wouldn't be manly at all..."

"I bet Blasty would melt as soon as he saw him. He'd be really soft to him–"

"I'm not sure about that... However, we can't do anything because those omegas can't mate."

Eijiro tries to ignore Ashido's pout and instead focuses on the familiar sound of someone stomping their way towards the break room.

It could only be one person.

Bakugo walks in, looking particularly upset; Eijiro is sure something happened to him a couple of days ago because he's been a little bit grumpier lately.

Suddenly, his head snaps towards Ashido and him before he bares his teeth at them, they hear a growl and suddenly the prime alpha is right in front of them.

"You smell like spring, like endless spring," he snarls, startling them.

"Hey, calm down Blasty! This is not the way to treat your friends!" Ashido narrows her eyes, trying not to growl back at him because it'd make it worse.

The other pro heroes around have started to get tense.

"You mean the omega?" Eijiro blurts out. He knows he still has the scent all over him.

Bakugo gets angrier at that, he's losing control...

"Why do you smell like my Izuku?"

"You mean the comfort omega? Do you know him?"

It seems those two questions were everything Bakugo needed to be himself again. He blinks a couple of times at Ashido, but doesn't give her an answer.

"I'm... sorry," the blond alpha mumbles, looking down. Eijiro knows how difficult is for him to apologize, but he's glad he's making an effort.

"Who's Izuku?"

When Bakugo softens at the mention of the name, Ashido gapes at him, almost in shock.

"The omega you mention... Is he cute, with green hair and emerald eyes?"

Eijiro tries not to smile when his friend uses the word "cute" to describe the omega. He's tempted, but he knows that's not the time to tease his friend about it.

"Yes, the cutest thing ever!" Ashido says, prompting Bakugo to growl again... Oh, he's jealous.

"His name is Midoriya Izuku... He's... He was my childhood friend," Bakugo says, looking at the ground. "Do you have his number? Do you know how I can find him?"

Eijiro shakes his head.

"Have you tried calling the company to get his number?" Ashido asks.

"Yeah... But they won't give it to me... Something about company rules to keep their employees safe," the alpha huffs, looking irritated. "I just want to see him again. I need to make it up to him."

"What are you talking about, Blasty?"

Bakugo takes a deep breath before looking at Ashido, whatever it is he wants to say is obviously bothering him. He looks full of regret for a moment.

"I bullied him when we were in middle school."

Oh. Eijiro understands better now or at least he hopes he does. Although he has the feeling there's another reason why Bakugo wants to see Midoriya again, judging by the way he reacted to smelling the omega's scent on them.

He looks at Ashido and they both silently agree to help their friend find the omega.

***

Next--->

Patreon

#omegaverse #bnha #mha #my hero academia #bkdk #bakudeku #bakugo katsuki #izuku midoriya

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duckprintspress · 3 years ago

Text

Ten Things We Hate About Trad Pub

Often when I say “I’ve started a small press; we publish the works of those who have trouble breaking into traditional publishing!” what people seem to hear is “me and a bunch of sad saps couldn’t sell our books in the Real World so we’ve made our own place with lower standards.” For those with minimal understanding of traditional publishing (trad pub), this reaction is perhaps understandable? But, truly, there are many things to hate about traditional publishing (and, don’t get me wrong - there are things to love about trad pub, too, but that’s not what this list is about) and it’s entirely reasonable for even highly accomplished authors to have no interest in running the gauntlet of genre restrictions, editorial control, hazing, long waits, and more, that make trad pub at best, um, challenging, and at worst, utterly inaccessible to many authors - even excellent ones.

Written in collaboration with @jhoomwrites, with input from @ramblingandpie, here is a list of ten things that we at Duck Prints Press detest about trad pub, why we hate it, and why/how we think things should be different!

(Needless to say, part of why we created Duck Prints Press was to...not do any of these things... so if you’re a writer looking for a publishing home, and you hate these things, too, and want to write with a Press that doesn’t do them...maybe come say hi?)

1. Work lengths dictated by genre and/or author experience.

Romance novels can’t be longer than 90,000 words or they won’t sell! New authors shouldn’t try to market a novel longer than 100,000 words!

A good story is a good story is a good story. Longer genre works give authors the chance to explore their themes and develop their plots. How often an author has been published shouldn’t put a cap on the length of their work.

2. Editors assert control of story events...except when they don’t.

If you don’t change this plot point, the book won’t market well. Oh, you’re a ten-time bestseller? Write whatever you want, even if it doesn’t make sense we know people will buy it.

Sometimes, a beta or an editor will point out that an aspect of a story doesn’t work - because it’s nonsensical, illogical, Deus ex Machina, etc. - and in those cases it’s of course reasonable for an editor to say, “This doesn’t work and we recommend changing it, for these reasons…” However, when that list of reasons begins and ends with, “...because it won’t sell…” that’s a problem, especially because this is so often applied as a double standard. We’ve all read bestsellers with major plot issues, but those authors get a “bye” because editors don’t want to exert to heavy a hand and risk a proven seller, but with a new, less experienced, or worse-selling author, the gloves come off (even though evidence suggests time and again that publishers’ ability to predict what will sell well is at best low and at worst nonexistent.)

3. A billion rejection letters as a required rite of passage (especially when the letters aren't helpful in pinpointing why a work has been rejected or how the author can improve).

Well, my first book was rejected by a hundred Presses before it was accepted! How many rejection letters did you get before you got a bite? What, only one or two? Oh…

How often one succeeds or fails to get published shouldn’t be treated as a form of hazing, and we all know that how often someone gets rejected or accepted has essentially no bearing on how good a writer they are. Plenty of schlock goes out into the world after being accepted on the first or second try...and so does plenty of good stuff! Likewise, plenty of schlock will get rejected 100 times but due to persistence, luck, circumstances, whatever, finally find a home, and plenty of good stuff will also get rejected 100 times before being publishing. Rejections (or lack there of) as a point of pride or as a means of judging others needs to die as a rite of passage among authors.

4. Query letters, for so many reasons.

Summarize all your hard work in a single page! Tell us who you’re like as an author and what books your story is like, so we can gauge how well it’ll sell based on two sentences about it! Format it exactly the way we say or we won’t even consider you!

For publishers, agents, and editors who have slush piles as tall as Mount Everest...we get it. There has to be a way to differentiate. We don’t blame you. Every creative writing class, NaNoWriMo pep talk, and college lit department combine to send out hundreds of thousands of people who think all they need to do to become the next Ernest Hemingway is string a sentence together. There has to be some way to sort through that pile...but God, can’t there be a better way than query letters? Especially since even with query letters being used it often takes months or years to hear back, and...

5. "Simultaneous submissions prohibited.”

No, we don’t know when we’ll get to your query, but we’ll throw it out instantly if you have the audacity to shop around while you wait for us.

The combination of “no simultaneous submissions” with the query letter bottleneck makes success slow and arduous. It disadvantages everyone who aims to write full-time but doesn’t have another income source (their own, or a parents’, or a spouse’s, or, or or). The result is that entire classes of people are edged out of publishing solely because the process, especially for writers early in their career, moves so glacially that people have to earn a living while they wait, and it’s so hard to, for example, work two jobs and raise a family and also somehow find the time to write. Especially considering that the standard advice for dealing with “no simultaneous submissions” is “just write something else while you wait!” ...the whole system screams privilege.

6. Genres are boxes that must be fit into and adhered to.

Your protagonist is 18? Then obviously your book is Young Adult. It doesn’t matter how smutty your book is, erotica books must have sex within the first three chapters, ideally in the first chapter. Sorry, we’re a fantasy publisher, if you have a technological element you don’t belong here…

While some genre boxes have been becoming more like mesh cages of late, with some flow of content allowed in and out, many remain stiff prisons that constrict the kinds of stories people can tell. Even basic cross-genre works often struggle to find a place, and there’s no reason for it beyond “if we can’t pigeon-hole a story, it’s harder to sell.” This edges out many innovative, creative works. It also disadvantages people who aren’t as familiar with genre rules. And don’t get me wrong - this isn’t an argument that, for example, the romance genre would be improved by opening up to stories that don’t have “happily ever afters.” Instead, it’s pointing out - there should also be a home for, say, a space opera with a side romance, an erotica scene, and a happily-for-now ending. Occasionally, works breakthrough, but for the most part stories that don’t conform never see the light of day (or, they do, but only after Point 2 - trad pub editors insist that the elements most “outside” the box be removed or revised).

7. The lines between romance and erotica are arbitrary, random, and hetero- and cis-normative.

This modern romance novel won’t sell if it doesn’t have an explicit sex scene, but God forbid you call a penis a penis. Oh, no, this is far too explicit, even though the book only has one mlm sex scene, this is erotica.

The difference between “romance” and “erotica” might not matter so much if not for the stigmas attached to erotica and the huge difference in marketability and audience. The difference between “romance” and “erotica” also might not matter so much if not for the fact that, so often, even incredibly raunchy stories that feature cis straight male/cis straight female sex scenes are shelved as romance, but the moment the sex is between people of the same gender, and/or a trans or genderqueer person is involved, and/or the relationship is polyamorous, and/or the characters involved are literally anything other than a cis straight male pleasuring a cis straight female in a “standard” way (cunnilingus welcome, pegging need not apply)...then the story is erotica. Two identical stories will get assigned different genres based on who the people having sex are, and also based on the “skill” of the author to use ludicrous euphemisms (instead of just...calling body parts what they’re called…), and it’s insane. Non-con can be a “romance” novel, even if it’s graphically described. “50 Shades of Gray” can sell millions of copies, even containing BDSM. But the word “vagina” gets used once...bam, erotica. (Seriously, the only standard that should matter is the Envelope Analogy).

8. Authors are expected to do a lot of their own legwork (eg advertising) but then don't reap the benefits.

Okay, so, you’re going to get an advance of $2,500 on this, your first novel, and a royalty rate of 5% if and only if your advance sells out...so you’d better get out there and market! Wait, what do you mean you don’t have a following? Guess you’re never selling out your advance…

Trad pub can generally be relied on to do some marketing - so this item is perhaps better seen as an indictment of more mid-sized Presses - but, basically, if an author has to do the majority of the work themselves, then why aren’t they getting paid more? What’s the actual benefit to going the large press/trad pub route if it’s not going to get the book into more hands? It’s especially strange that this continues to be a major issue when self-publishing (which also requires doing one’s own marketing) garners 60%+ royalty rates. Yes, the author doesn’t get an advance, and they don’t get the cache of ~well I was published by…~, but considering some Presses require parts of advances to get paid back if the initial run doesn’t sell out, and cache doesn’t put food on the table...pay models have really, really got to change.

9. Fanfiction writing doesn't count as writing experience

Hey there Basic White Dude, we see you’ve graduated summa cum laude from A Big Fancy Expensive School. Of course we’ll set you up to publish your first novel you haven’t actually quite finished writing yet. Oh, Fanperson, you’ve written 15 novels for your favorite fandom in the last 4 years? Get to the back of the line!

Do I really need to explain this? The only way to get better at writing is to write. Placing fanfiction on official trad pub “do not interact” lists is idiotic, especially considering many of the other items on this list. (They know how to engage readers! They have existing followings! They understand genre and tropes!) Being a fanfiction writer should absolutely be a marketable “I am a writer” skill. Nuff said. (To be clear, I’m not saying publishers should publish fanfiction, I’m saying that being a fanfiction writer is relevant and important experience that should be given weight when considering an author’s qualifications, similar to, say, publishing in a university’s quarterly.)

10. Tagging conventions (read: lack thereof).

Oh, did I trigger you? Hahahaha. Good luck with that.

We rate movies so that people can avoid content they don’t like. Same with TV shows and video games. Increasingly, those ratings aren’t just “R - adult audiences,” either; they contain information about the nature of the story elements that have led to the rating (“blood and gore,” “alcohol reference,” “cartoon violence,” “drug reference,” “sexual violence,” “use of tobacco,” and many, many more). So why is it that I can read a book and, without warning, be surprised by incest, rape, graphic violence, explicit language, glorification of drug and alcohol use, and so so much more? That it’s left to readers to look up spoilers to ensure that they’re not exposed to content that could be upsetting or inappropriate for their children or, or, or, is insane. So often, too, authors cling to “but we don’t want to give away our story,” as if video game makes and other media makers do want to give away their stories. This shouldn’t be about author egos or ~originality~ (as if that’s even a thing)...it should be about helping readers make informed purchasing decisions. It’s way, way past time that major market books include content warnings.

Thank you for joining us, this has been our extended rant about how frustrated we are with traditional publishing. Helpful? No. Cathartic? Most definitely yes. 🤣

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#duck prints press #original content #writing advice #sort of

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