#if it helps: was very barely but still inspired by netflix's the perfect date

[wonbriiize]

pairing; park wonbin x reader, genre; best friends to lovers, warnings; none

note; i finished watching ‘one day’ (netflix show) a few days ago and decided to write this inspired by it,, it’s quite long but i hope u guys like it !!

unspoken feelings

in which you want wonbins help to prepare yourself for your first date but things take a different turn…

⊹₊˚✩ ₊˚⊹

“𝓪𝓻𝓮 you sure this looks good?” you swirl around in the dark blue dress that you’ve just put on.

after waiting for a few minutes and not getting an answer, you see that your best friend wonbin isn’t paying much attention to you — he’s laying on your bed and looking at his phone.

“wonbin, help me out here and stop looking at your phone!” your voice sounds so desperate that it makes you mad. you absolutely hate sounding like that.

wonbin sits up and throws his phone next to him.

“yeah, the dress is pretty good.”

“only good? oh god, no, it needs to look perfect.”

full with panic, you start walking to your wardrobe to look for another dress.

“why do you care so much anyway?” wonbin asks, trying to hide the jealousy he has been feeling the whole time since you’ve told him that you’re going on a date with someone.

“because it’s my first date ever and i want it to be good and it’s only going to be good when i also look good!!”

wonbin watches you look through your clothes, throwing them to the ground and desperately trying to find a new dress. he bites his lips, asking himself if you’ve ever been this stressed about looking good when the two of you were out together.

“how come you never dress up when we go out?”

you laugh at his question, not understanding why he’d ask this. “well, we don’t go on dates. we go out as friends.”

friends.

that word slaps wonbin right back into reality. he gulps, tearing his eyes away from you.

“yeah but you could still try to match my coolness with your outfits.”

“oh shut up,” you laugh, grabbing after the white dress that’s been sitting at the bottom of your wardrobe.

“what do you think about this one?” turning around, you hold your dress up so wonbin can see it, but you catch him looking to the other side of the room, not acknowledging what you’ve just said.

“uhm, hello, earth to wonbin, you here?”

he snaps his head back to you but it still looks like he’s not really here, with you. his mind seems to be somewhere else.

you wave the white dress in an attempt to attract his attention. “so? how about this one?”

slowly, he nods. “yeah, this is the one.”

proudly, you smile and stand up. wonbin is still staring at you, hating the fact that he can’t even be happy for you. he absolutely detests that he’s here, helping you out for your first date and the date isn’t even with him.

maybe he's not a good best friend for thinking this way, but who can blame him? he‘s been in love with you for so many years. seeing someone else taking you out on a date, making you smile this much, and filling you with such excitement and eagerness to dress up — it hurts him deeply.

it’s my own fault, wonbin thinks. he should have gathered up the strength to confess to you way before, but now it’s too late.

he’s about to lose you to someone else.

wonbin grabs his chest, feeling like it’s hurting so much that he can barely breathe.

“wonbin, can you do me a favor and unzip me please? i can’t reach it,” you ask him.

“hurry, i need to be ready in an hour and i still need to do my hair and make up!” you whine, wanting wonbin to stop being so slow.

wonbin stands up, his heart beating very fast as he approaches you. he hopes that you don’t realize how heavily he’s breathing.

once he stands behind you, he gulps, realizing how close to you he is. his hands carefully make their way up to your hair, moving it to the side.

you can feel wonbin's breath in your neck. being this close to him gives you goosebumps, and you pray he doesn't notice.

he can't possibly know the effect he has on you. whenever he's near, your heart races, and every moment feels so alive, so fulfilling, so utterly consumed by love.

wonbin has been your best friend for so many years and you don’t want to lose that.

confessing to him would put the two of you in a tough spot because what if he doesn’t like you in that way? how could you two ever recover from that? it would change everything.

you don’t want to lose him.

you agreed to go on a date with someone else just to stop thinking about wonbin, but he's always on your mind. every moment feels like a battle against these unspoken feelings for him. you thought the date might help you move on, but it's only making you feel like you're betraying him.

but there’s no going back now; you need to do this. it’s for the best.

noticing that wonbin still hasn’t unzipped the dress, you ask if he can hurry up.

wonbin doesn't respond. it’s like his throat is closing up, choked by the knowledge of you going out with someone else. he thought he could handle it, but the reality hits him like a tidal wave, devouring him in a whirlpool of agony and longing.

“no, i don’t want to hurry,” he whispers. he doesn’t understand why he’s so brave all of sudden, but he’s not going to back away now.

“what?” you’re confused.

“i actually lied,” wonbin whispers in your ear. “you look absolutely perfect in this dress.”

it feels like you’re having a hard time hearing because of how fast your heart is starting to beat.

wonbin touches your shoulders, slowly turning you around to him.

“i just didn’t want you to wear this to your date.”

as you stand face to face with wonbin, you‘re struck by the realization that you‘ve never been this close to him before.

it’s a moment you've yearned for endlessly.

“why?” you whisper, your gaze flickering down to his lips and then back to his eyes.

“because..” wonbin murmurs, his hands leaving your shoulders to caress your waist, pulling you closer. the proximity makes your head spin.

is this surreal moment truly happening?

“i want to be the sole reason you wear this dress,” he confesses, his right hand delicately tracing your lower lip.

your knees tremble, threatened by the imminent collapse under the weight of overwhelming desire.

“and i also want to be the only one who takes you out on dates, who brings that radiant smile to your lips, and who..." he pauses momentarily, his gaze lingering on your mouth.

“..gets to kiss you, if you allow me to, of course.”

your heart is pounding with anticipation. the realization that this long-awaited moment is finally arriving feels surreal, yet undeniably thrilling.

without a word, you rise onto your tiptoes and meet his lips in a fervent embrace.

wonbin is taken aback at first, but starts kissing back enthusiastically when he realizes that you've been meaning to do this just as much as he has.

in that moment, everything around you seems to fade away, leaving just the two of you in your own little world.

it feels like time is standing still as you are drawn together, your connection becoming the only thing that matters.

amidst the quiet, your love shines brighter than anything else, filling the space around you with warmth and intensity.

[rockitmans]

Blaine Anderson Vs Valentine's Day (5/14)

Summary: Blaine drunk posts on his Instagram asking for a date for Valentine's Day. He gets one.

Notes: Written for the @klaineccfanficlibrary Valentine Challenge. Today's song is You're The Best Thing by The Style Council

This one's for @cerriddwenluna who has not only been a wonderful cheerleader for this fic but also inspired this chapter with our mutual Elliott love

Read on AO3 or below

~~~~~~~

Blaine wakes up with his phone pressed against his cheek. He'd stayed up so late talking to Kurt that he'd fallen asleep in the middle of typing out a sentence. He can barely believe how long they spent chatting. They just clicked so instantly that everything felt easy. The conversation meandered with the joyful flow of close friends, helped along by the huge amount they seem to have in common. 

Blaine is slightly suspicious he really did manage to manifest Kurt into being through pure wish power. He's that perfect. Or maybe he has some glaring flaw that has yet to reveal itself. Maybe he thinks that Katy Perry is overrated. 

Blaine flips open his DMs, not really expecting much, but is delighted to see a new message from Kurt. 

Kurt: Good morning, sunshine ☀️

It's a simple enough message but it tells Blaine two things. That Kurt isn't interested in playing games with him, which is nice after the mental gymnastics he occasionally went through with his exes. And that Kurt woke up thinking about him. Which means Blaine isn't alone.

Blaine: Good morning. I have to go to my real person job today 😔

Kurt: Same here. Catch you later though?

Blaine: Absolutely 

*

Blaine's Real Person Job is at his local record store but he barely considers it work. He just gets to talk to people about music all day. He also gets to hang out with his favourite colleague, Elliott, who always buys him a morning coffee without fail. Angels exist in the form of Elliott Gilbert. 

"Morning, Bee," Elliott greets him, pushing a Starbucks cup into his hand. He peers into Blaine's face. "You okay, skipper? You look tired."

"I was up most of the night," Blaine admits. 

"Lucky you." Elliott waggles his eyebrows and Blaine glares playfully.

"Not for that. Um… Sebastian and I broke up actually."

"Oh." Elliott frowns. "Is it too early to admit I never liked him? Or are we still in the 'mourning and pretending he was wonderful' stage?" 

Blaine laughs weakly. "Insult away. He cheated on me."

Elliott stiffens. "Where does he live, again?"

"No. You're not killing Sebastian."

"Not even like a little spook? Some casual threats of violence?"

"No."

"Fine," Elliott sighs. "But seriously, how are you holding up?"

Blaine thinks about it. Waking up with thoughts of Kurt had kept the grief at bay. And, if he's being really honest with himself, Sebastian was always more fun than Forever. They were never going to be picking out paint samples or arguing over who would pay for the Netflix account. He just wishes Sebastian had told him the expiry was up on their relationship and that they had parted amicably. Not that he had fucked a random from the gym. 

"I'm doing okay," he says honestly. "More pissed off that he cheated than about the relationship being over."

"Understandable."

"And…" Blaine hesitates, wondering if it's too early to start talking about Kurt. 

"And?" Elliott echoes curiously. 

"Well… And don't judge me. I kind of started talking to someone else."

"Blaine Anderson, you slut," Elliott gasps, sounding thrilled. "Tell me everything."

"Not like that. Just. A guy messaged me on Instagram."

"Oh my God."

"I know, I know. But honestly it's all been very wholesome. We talked all night. It was kind of wonderful actually."

"That is… incredibly boring but I'm thrilled for you, truly."

"Sorry you can't vicariously live your sex life through me," Blaine says tartly. "I hate to disappoint."

"That's ok. I'm used to disappointment."

Blaine flips him off and Elliott laughs.

"Just be careful, okay?" Elliott adds more seriously. "Not everyone is who they claim to be on the internet."

"I'm being careful," Blaine lies. "It's not like I'm planning to meet him anytime soon." The dinner reservation at Di Fara set for less than two weeks away  flashes like a beacon in his mind. He could so easily invite Kurt. He ignores the impulse. 

Elliott hums doubtfully. He knows Blaine far too well.

*

Blaine makes it a grand total of four hours before he messages Kurt again. Which is fine and normal and completely chill, actually. 

Blaine: I'm on lunch if you wish to be bothered

It takes Kurt fifteen minutes to respond and Blaine spends the time bouncing his knee anxiously and reminding himself that Kurt actually does have A Life and it's not all about him. Unfortunately.

Kurt: Bother away 

Kurt: How's real life going?

Blaine: Extremely boring

Kurt: Mine too. No cute, half naked guys in my Insta feed today 😔

Blaine: Listen

"What are you smiling about so much?" Elliott interjects, wandering into the break room and stealing a bite of Blaine's sandwich. He looks at the phone in Blaine's hand. "Oh my God. Are you talking to your Instagram man right now? Your Insta-man?"

"Shut up."

"That's not a no."

"I thought this was a safe space," Blaine complains and Elliott cackles. 

"I'm not judging. You're adorable. "

"You say you're not judging but your tone says otherwise."

"Don't leave him on read," Elliott urges, waving him away and grabbing a magazine. "God forbid I get in the way of 'true love.'"

"I can hear the quotation marks," Blaine mutters but he glances back at his phone. 

Kurt: I'm listening intently 

Blaine: Sorry. My friend interrupted my flow to ask me why I was smiling so much

Kurt: Oh? And why ARE you smiling so much

Blaine: I've made a horrible mistake

Kurt: 😂

Blaine: I'm being bullied from all sides today

Kurt: No. I've been smiling all day too. Because of you, to be clear.

Kurt: It's going to be very awkward if you weren't smiling because of me now 

Blaine laughs, ignoring Elliott's pointed cough. 

Blaine: Don't worry.

Blaine: It was definitely because of you

[gukyi]

i know i’m on hiatus and i will be for like another month but i just got such an amazing idea for taehyung’s hogwarts au and now i’m going to update every wips page and make a banner and begin it right now this insTANT

[pinballwitxh]

heavenly - request - spencer reid x oc

summary: a local sketch artist comes back in for a case the team is working on and discovers she’s slowly taken a liking to the resident genius.

warnings: so much smut, some cursing

a/n: I was so excited to write this one that I took it on right away. sorry that I went out of order but I had to get this one out!  the inspiration to write this came and went so I am sorry if some things seems repetitive and others seem...actually good lol.  enjoy!!!!

Spencer sat behind her as she introduced herself to the young victim across from them. The girl was wrapped snuggly in a blanket and fidgeting constantly.

“I’ve already told everything I know to the cops, can I please just go home?” She began to sob, “Don’t make me retell it all!”

“I’m not going to ask you anymore questions,” the artist said calmly as she leaned forward, “You just need to describe his face, anything you’re able to remember.”

“Just take some deep breaths and close your eyes,” Spencer said as he leaned over the artist’s shoulder, “It may help you to remember as many details as possible.”

The girl leaned back in her chair and wiped her eyes before nodding to them. Spencer sat back and watched the artist and her hands work, absolutely mesmerized by how fluid her hands moved and how perfect the lines were.

She didn’t even really know what this man’s face looked like and yet it was coming together beautifully.

For a little over an hour they worked with her before happily dismissing her to rejoin her worried family in the lobby. The two stood side by side with smiles as she ran into their arms, sobbing happily.

She handed him the drawing, “Team might need that soon,”

“We really appreciate all your help,” he said as he took the paper and shook her hand.

“Never thought my interest in art would take me to the FBI someday,” she said as she gathered her things.

Spencer shoved his hands into his pockets and smiled, “You have a really great gift, it’s fascinating to watch you work, actually.”

She blushed and hugged her sketchbook close to her, “Thank you, Doctor Reid-”

“You know you can call me Spencer, I think we’ve worked together enough to be on a first-name basis.” he said with a grin.

In a surge of confidence she scribbled her number down on a piece of sketchbook paper and nearly shoved it into his chest from all the nerves.  She knew she had been crushing on the genius for awhile now.

“In that case I guess we can be on texting-basis, too,” she chuckled.

Spencer held the piece of paper close, “Would it be too forward to ask you on a date before texting you?”

The look of surprise that washed over her face made Spencer think he had done something wrong, he had definitely been too forward.  He profusely apologized to her while stammering over his words.

She laid a hand on his arm, “I’d love to go on a date, I didn’t mean to make you worry,” she sighed, “It’s just been a very long time since I’ve gone on a date with anyone.  I was kind of shocked you asked me,”

Spencer rubbed the back of his neck, “Oh, well you don’t have to if you aren’t ready-”

“Text me tonight so we can figure out a time, Spencer.” she winked before waving at him and turning to leave.  He watched her all the way down the hallway before turning around and cheering to himself quietly.

- 6 MONTHS LATER -

She looked around the buzzing bar for Spencer, meeting his smile from across the restaurant.  He stood from his chair and opened his arms, pulling her into a tight and close hug after she ran to him.  

It had been a two-week long case, lots of lives were lost and to say it was frustrating was an understatement.  The dark circles clouded his eyelids and his skin was so pale she questioned how long it had been since he had seen daylight.

The rest of the team laughed and they sat down, jumping back into the conversation.  His hand travelled up her thigh slowly, causing her breath to hitch in her throat.  Spencer wasn’t one for PDA, usually, but if it was happening it usually meant he was upset.  Her hand found his and her fingers coiled over his easily, holding his hand tightly and squeezing it once in awhile.

She turned to look at him in the middle of conversation, it was clear that some of the stress was already gone but it still lingered behind his tired laugh and half-hearted smiles.  He caught her stare and smiled widely at her, leaning in to kiss her cheek.

“I think we should all go home and get some rest,” Hotch said, a command laced behind his words.  

Before the couple left Derek approached her and brought her in for a hug, “How’s everything going with you, Der?”

He smiled, “You always know how to cheer me up with that smile, sweetness,” he leaned down to place a kiss on her forehead, “I am a little worried about your man, though.”

She frowned, “What happened?”

“It shook us all, kid, not gonna lie,” he sighed, “It shook us up in different ways but Spencer was especially upset that he was away from you.”

“I mean, neither of us like it when he has to leave,”

“Just talk to him tonight, I don’t think he’s gonna sleep very well.”

She nodded and squeezed her friend in a side hug, “Thanks for looking out for him, Morgan.”

He smiled, “Always have to keep an eye on Doctor Strange.”

“I liked that reference,” Spencer said as he approached them, holding his hand out for her to take.

The drive home was very quiet, which was unusual for Spencer after coming home from a case.  His hand held hers steady over the console and he didn’t let go until they pulled into the parking garage of her apartment.  He frowned and looked over at her, “Why didn’t you drop me off at my place?”

“You already have your things packed up, so I figured you can stay the night,” she smiled as she leaned over to kiss his cheek.

He didn’t object, Spencer just liked to know plans ahead of time and yet he found himself content with being here.  The elevator ride up to her apartment was also very quiet and it was starting to worry her.  Spencer was usually pretty well-recovered after coming home from a case.  

Clearly he wasn’t.

- - -

While Spencer took a very long bath and shower she got a fire going and laid out some fluffy blankets on the couch.  She had a few new movies that she had found on Netflix listed in her phone that she thought they should try out.  From the shadows her cat emerged, mewing at her and rubbing against her leg as she rifled through the fridge for food.

In a scurry her cat bounded towards the bathroom door, pawing at the wood in an attempt to find out who was on the other side.  She rolled her eyes and followed the animal, picking him up and scratching behind his ears, “You can’t get attention anytime you want, you know?”

Spencer opened the door and gasped when he saw her on the other side.  She blinked, keeping her eyes level with his so he wouldn’t feel uncomfortable.  Spencer hadn’t been super intimate with her, ever, and she was okay with that.  They had been slowly testing the waters, edging closer to the edge each time they were together.  

Seeing him shirtless was a rare sight and she wanted to let her eyes roam over his entire body so bad.

“I-I left my clothes in your room,” he stuttered.

She laughed nervously and stepped out of the way to let him pass.  Before he shut the door behind him she looked over her shoulder, taking a glimpse at his bare back and the water that dripped down his shoulder blades.

The door shut and she jumped at the sound, instantly brought back to reality.  Her cat squirmed against her hold so she set him down, once again he began to paw at the door Spencer had just disappeared behind.

She decided to leave him be and get as far away from his naked body as she could.

He came walking down the hall with her cat in his arms, cuddling him close.  She smiled at the sight and laughed, her cat was such a suck-up when it came to Spencer.

The couch dipped as he sat next to her, cradling her cat like a baby and scratching the underside of his chin.  She pulled her blanket up closer and offered him a glass of wine, to which he surprisingly accepted.  

“Must’ve been a hard one,” she said as she passed his glass over to him.

He nodded, “You have no idea,”

She looked away, “I’m sure I don’t, I’m sorry, Spence.”

He smiled as he set her cat down between them, “Let’s just watch a movie, something funny.”

Ten minutes later both of them were curled up warmly under separate blankets, sipping on wine and engrossed in the film.  About halfway through was when she could feel his legs pressing up against her feet and she slowly slid her legs over his own.  Without even looking at each other they settled into the new position and continued to watch.

His hand found a resting spot on her inner thighs and immediately she could feel the heat flush her face.  She shifted her legs and left him more room to slide his hand down lower, and he did.

Not even ten minutes later she decided she couldn’t take it anymore and apparently Spencer couldn’t either.

They practically lunged at each other after making eye contact.  His placed both of his hands on her hips while hers latched onto the sides of his face.  There wasn’t much time left for breathing as they kissed deeply and hungrily, tugging at each other’s lips and tongues sliding around one another.  

She slid lower onto the couch with a vice-like grip on his collar.  His body loomed over hers and he subtly nudged her legs apart, making room for him to lay between them.  He hastily tossed the blanket to the side and groaned at the fact that the only thing separating them now was a very thin layer of clothes.

“Spence,” she moaned quietly between kisses, his hard-on becoming very apparent now.  He ground his hips down onto hers, something he had recently learned that she liked.  She shuddered at the contact as a chill spread throughout her whole body.

He let out a small groan, “I need you,” he whispered.

For a moment she didn’t think she heard him correctly, so she continued to kiss his lips feverishly.  He barely had time to catch a breath between the needy kisses, so he pulled away and captured her face in his hands.  

She opened her eyes and stared up at him, chest heaving.

“I want you, so bad,” he whispered as he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

She blinked, “W-want me as in. . .”

He cleared his throat and nodded, “In every single way possible,”

His eyes flickered across her face and he smiled down at her.  She noticed it was a small smile, but genuine nonetheless.  She propped herself up on her elbows and kissed him deeply, taking his larger hand in hers.  Slowly she guided his hand to her breast before he took over, massaging it slowly.  His breath caught in his throat as she ran a hand up his chest, fingers dipping beneath the seam of the Cal Tech shirt he wore.  

He dove his head low to her neck, nearly suffocating himself in the warmth of her skin.  He peppered kisses all over her throat and with his tongue he could taste the faintest bit of sweat beginning to form on her.  She let out a guttural growl, something Spencer had never heard from her before.

His erection twitched and he ground against her slow and hard.  With her arms wrapped around his neck she sighed into his shoulder, kissing the exposed skin on his neck as he nudged her bra off slowly.  Soon both of their shirts were off and Spencer had yet to open his eyes.  

She sat up and straddled his lap, tilting his head up to meet her stare.  He slowly opened his eyes, brows knitted together in a deep frown.

She placed a strand of hair behind his ear, “Are you sure you want to?”

He nodded vigorously, “I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life,” he said quietly, tracing his knuckle over her cheek.

“Then what’s got you hesitating?”

He looked away and pulled her close, not saying a word.  For a moment she waited, not sure what to expect from her boyfriend.  Spencer was a very quiet person when it came to his feelings.  Despite the fact they had been dating for nearly 6 months, she found that did nothing when it came to talking about their feelings.

“You have to talk to me if you want to do this,” she whispered as she took his face into her hands and forcing him to look at her.

There were tears in his eyes and she frowned, immediately pulling him into her hold and hugging him close.  Quietly he cried into her neck, shoulders heaving with the faintest hiccups.  She shushed him, sitting up against the couch and cradling him.  

Nothing like this ever happened and it startled her a little bit.

“Stop hiding things from me, Spencer,” she kissed the top of his head.

He pulled away and wiped at his dark eyes, “I’ve never been more of anything else in my life,” he paused to take a deep breath, “Those two weeks that I was gone was one of the most eye-opening experiences ever.”

She nodded and kissed his cheek, “I’m so sorry,”

“There was a couple, they were engaged,” he smiled, “And I could see us being them.  B-but,” he paused, “She was murdered and there was nothing we could have done to stop it.  Her fiancé, he was so broken. . .”

“But I’m here, right now, I’m not going anywhere.”

“I know you are, but it made me reevaluate us and what we are,”

She sat back with wide eyes, “Don’t tell me you’re-”

“Absolutely not, I couldn’t imagine life without you,” he kissed her deeply, “It made me realize how badly I don’t want to lose you.”

She placed a hand on his cheek with tears in her eyes, beginning to understand what he was saying.

“I’m so ready to share me with you, all of me, and I don’t want to waste anymore time because our time here is so precious,” he smiled, “It made me realize how much I love you, seeing all of that.”

She pressed her lips to his held him so close that there was no space left between them.  The kissing grew heated and more passionate and sweat began to pool at her forehead.  She pulled away with a smile and tugged him as she stood up.

Spencer held her hand tight as they walked to the bedroom, shutting the door behind them.  Spencer pulled her to him with hands on her waist, staring down at her with tear streaks across his cheeks.  She smiled up at him and kissed his nose, eliciting a small chuckle from him.

“We don’t have to do this, I don’t want you to feel like you have to just because you’re upset or because of anything I’ve ever said to you-”

“I want to.”

The confidence in his voice and the look in his eyes was something familiar to her, she had felt it in her own body before awhile ago.  He leaned down slowly and captured her lips in his own strong ones, a smile crossing his face.  She wrapped her arms around him and he lifted her up, to her surprise, and carried her to the bed.

The city lights streamed in from the window, she had a perfect view with large windows to accompany it.

He laid her down gently and allowed her to run her hands over his chest, studying him.  Adoringly he gazed at her while she took him in with her eyes.  She had an artist’s mind, he remembered, she liked to study people and every piece of them.  

She was trying to drink in every bit of him that her mind could allow, she was finally getting to know him physically and she wanted to remember every little detail.  Every little freckle, scar, birthmark and indent on his body.

“You’re gorgeous,” she whispered with a laugh.

He blushed, “Thank you,”

She met his eyes before letting her hands trail lower, running over the bulge in his pants.  He let his eyes slide shut and groaned at the feeling of her palming him.  It felt heavenly, this was a feeling he never knew existed.  It was so perfect.

She yanked his belt off and slowly unzipped him, allowing him time to adjust to the feelings.  He nodded his head when she began to tug down on his pants, asking with the look in her eyes if it was okay.

Once his pants were off, he too began to run his hands over her hips and the jeans that clothed her.  She smiled at him and tugged down on her pants, allowing him to help her slide them off, leaving them in only their under garments.

His lips parted in awe, he had never seen her like this.  Her hair spilled all around her and the lights from the outside made her look so ethereal.  She was everything he wanted, and he wanted her now.

Slowly he lowered himself to her chest, placing his hands on each of her breasts and squeezing lightly.  She ran a hand through his long curls and smiled as he ran his thumbs over her hardened nipples.  A gasp escaped her mouth as he finally dipped down to suck on her.

Her body was on fire.

He could feel just how wet for him she was and he never imagined a feeling quite like it.  He groaned as he switched to her other breast, taking her in his mouth once again.  His tongue swirled around the throbbing bud and the joy it brought to him to hear her moan his name only made him want her even more.

If that was possible.

He pulled away and immediately she was straddling him, grinding her hips against his own.  She pushed him back on the bed and he settled into her duvet, closing his eyes and focusing on the feeling of her mouth on his stomach.

He gasped when her fingers curled around the seam of his underwear, tickling him the slightest bit.

“Is this okay?” she asked quietly.

He opened his eyes and peered over at her, “Keep going,” 

She smiled and continued to pull his underwear off, slowly sliding it down his legs.  Her focus was solely on him as she leaned down to take his length into her mouth.

He shuddered violently and he gripped the sheets tightly.

“Relax, Reid, just close your eyes.”

He nodded and she went back to work, bobbing her head up and down gently.  He whimpered as she placed a hand at the base of his cock, beginning to pump it with her mouth.  His hand found it’s way into her hair that dangled over his thighs and he tugged each time her mouth squeezed around him.

His whimpers turned to cries of pleasure and soon he found himself teetering over the edge.

“I’m ready, please,”

She pulled away and clambered over him, kissing his lips with desire and hunger that neither of them had felt.

“I-Is this your first time?” he asked quietly.

She pulled away and smiled at him before shaking his head, “It’s been a long time, but it isn’t my first,”

“A-Are you sure you want me-”

“Nothing will ever change my mind about you, and I hope that it doesn’t change your mind about me,”

“Of course it doesn’t,” he said as he ran his thumb over her cheekbone.

She smiled, “All that matters is that I love you and I want to this to be everything you want and more.”

Tears brimmed his eyes once more and he kissed her forehead, “I love you too,”

She pulled him close and laid back on the bed as his body towered over hers, a hunger in his eyes that made her nearly come undone on the spot.  Slowly he peeled her panties away and off her legs, his eyes never leaving her own.

“You can look, Spencer,”

His eyes traveled down her body and to her throbbing core.  His hands roamed over her body and shook with excitement.  She placed a hand over his own and guided it to her center, nodding.

His hands explored her folds delicately, rubbing her nub when her moans became louder.  She was dripping for him and it made him so hungry for her.

He reached for his erect cock, stroking it slightly before lining himself up with her.  She leaned up on her elbows and placed a hand over his, guiding himself closer to her entrance.  She held his gaze and urged him to push, “We can go slow,”

He nodded before finally leaning into her, pushing his entire length inside of her.  His moans carried over hers and he shuddered, leaning over her body to take some deep breaths.  She arched her back with a hand around his neck, moaning his name.

He twitched inside of her at the sound of his name and immediately felt the urge to begin pumping in and out of her slowly.  His movements were soft and agile, paying close attention to her body language and slowly figuring out what she liked best.

“Does it hurt?” he asked timidly.

She shook her head, “It feels perfect, Spence.” she said breathily.

He finally pulled away to look at her as he sped up his pace.  Her breasts were bouncing with each thrust he gave and her lips were parted in what seemed bliss.  Her eyes were squeezed shut, but her eyebrows were knitted in ecstasy.  The sweat covering her body made her shine in the lights of the city coming in from the windows.  

She looked like an angel, he thought.

Her eyes open and he slowed his thrusting, holding her wide-eyed stare.  She smiled up at him and let loose a small laugh, one that he loved so much.  She pulled him close and kissed him deeply as he stopped inside of her.

“I-Is everything okay-?”

“I just wanted to look at you,” she whispered as she ran a thumb over his nose.

Spencer smiled, tears pooling in his orbs once again.  They trailed over his cheeks and onto her own, the emotion slowly building up in her.  Soon she had tears of her own spilling down the sides of her face.

“Happy tears?” he asked her, placing her hair behind her ear.

She nodded, “Happy tears.”

He smiled before placing a very passionate kiss on her lips, beginning to move inside of her once again.  Spencer watched her very closely as she began to squirm even more beneath his body.

“G-God I’m so close,” he breathed out, “Jesus. . .”

She looked up to him and held his gaze as his thrusting turned into pounding as he held himself to her.  His eyes finally met hers and she watched as he came undone inside of her.  The moans of her name in her ear sent her coming quickly undone as well, clinging to him with desperate cries of pleasure as he finished the last of his bucking hips against her.

For awhile they laid there, tangled in each other’s limbs and coming down from the pleasurable high.  She tangled her hands into his messy curls and massage his head, his breath heavy against her neck.

He finally pulled out of her, another moan coming from both of them.

He leaned down and kissed her long and hard, his tongue probing the insides of her mouth gently.  She giggled against his lips and pulled him down next to her.  Propped up on her elbows she placed a hand on his chest and drew soft circles.  He smiled up at her, studying her face.

“That was incredible,” he said quietly, placing a hand on her cheek.

She turned to him, “Was it everything you expected?” she looked away from his eyes with a sad look.

He frowned, “It was everything and so much more,” he made her look at him, “I feel closer to you than I ever have with anyone else in my life before.”

She let out a small, happy sob at his words.  Leaning into him she kissed the palm of his calloused hand smiled up at him, “It’s not an earthly feeling, is it?”

He shook his head and patted the spot next to him.  She quickly snuggled under the covers and nuzzled up to his chest.

“I don’t think anything can explain this,”

She scoffed, “Doctor Spencer Reid is stumped?”

THE MASTERLIST | REQUEST DETAILS

[pcndemoniums]

Skins inspired series: Our Youth (1999 - 2002) / Our Wasted Youth (2020)

This is a loooong request so bare with me. Be aware that these guys have known each other since the age of 16. They’ve had their ups and downs through the years but in the end they have managed to stay friends. 

[ tw: mentions of underage  drinking, sex, mental illness, eating disorder, substance abuse, suicide, overdose, bullying and death ] 

The Shows

Our Youth was an American teen comedy-drama television series that followed the lives of a group of teenagers in the fictional small town of Madison, California. Its controversial story-lines  explored issues like dysfunctional families, mental illness (such as depression, eating disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder and bipolar disorder), adolescent sexuality, gender, substance abuse, autism spectrum disorder, death, and bullying. In a time where most TV shows about teenagers were unrealistic affairs propped up by a cast of actors at least 10 years older than their fictional age, Our Youth changed all that by depicting realistic portrayals of teen characters who slept with each other, went to parties, drank a lot, smoked weed, and talked like the kids they were. Much of the controversy around its early episodes criticized its portrayal of sex, bad language, and explicit drug use but it was always careful to temper the hedonism with consequences, the comedy with tragedy. The show premiered on 25 January 1999 and went on to be a critical success. However, real life drama became too much for show runners to handle and the show was cancelled after three seasons. It ended on a shocking cliffhanger that left most viewers outraged and heart broken. 

After the show ended the cast went their separate ways, trying different things to maintain their success but the bad reputation that came from the show seemed to follow them around. Some of them went on to star in low budget films and others completely fell off the radar. For years there have been talks and rumors about a possible fourth season of the series but it was not until early this year that it was announced that the show was going to be getting a second life. Netflix acquired the rights to the show in 2018 and finally announced that they were starting production at the end of 2020 with the original cast in tow. The fourth season of Our Youth has been renamed Our Wasted Youth and will take place 20 years after the events of the third season finale and will chronicle how the teens, now adults, are dealing with the ghosts of their past. 

Behind The Scenes

So this show was a big deal back in the day. As far as aesthetics go then think of the show Skins, the UK version. It was mostly based on a group of kids who lived in the same neighborhood, went to the same high school and were involved in a lot of shenanigans. They partied a lot, got in trouble, sometimes they learned a lesson or two - most times they didn’t. Some critics loved it because of its realism, but others found it too controversial for television. It did not help that the cast, all between the ages of 14 and 16 at the time, were pretty much left unattended to do whatever they wanted and they didn’t choose to sit and study. There was a lot of bad behavior behind the scenes, scandals, fights, drama, etc. Life imitating fiction if you will. To the point where the show was cancelled after three seasons. They decided to end the show in dramatic fashion with the hits involved in a horrible car accident. The last shot of the show was that of the car wreck and the fate of the teens was left to the imagination. Yeah, people were pissed, demanding a resolution. Honestly at this point there was so much hostility that the actors were just glad that it all ended. I mean these guys were all hormonal teenagers, getting fame and money, so you can imagine what went on behind the scenes.

The show still had a huge fan base, even if the actors were not particularly famous anymore. They all had a hard time getting decent work because they had this very bad reputation of being disruptive. In 2010, Kurt Davidson, who portrayed Gus Chandler, was found dead in his home from apparent drug overdose. The actor had been fighting a long battle with addiction and it was during this time that the actors got together and had a little reunion with fans. They resolved their issues and started to become really good friends. There was a media outcry surrounding Kurt’s death though and an article was published on various news sources about the dangers of exposing actors to the drug culture at such a young age. Any hope that the show would come back was lost after the death of Kurt Davidson. But then in 2018 it was confirmed that the show was coming back to Netflix and was scheduled to start shooting in 2019. However, things got a little sidetracked and people started to think that the show was already doomed even before they started shooting. Thankfully things started to brighten up and the show started shooting in January of 2020. This new season will deal with the repercussions of the accident and how the characters are dealing with adulthood. It will have 10 episodes and they are currently shooting episode seven. Because of the tight schedule, these guys have been spending a lot of time together and who knows, maybe there’s the chance for a lot of new drama. 

Now because I’m crazy, here are the characters of the show and their little arcs, just so you can get an idea of who you’d like your character to play.

Main Cast

Lukas Larsen ( 35 - 36 yo - character name - open face claim ): Lukas Larsen is an attractive, intelligent and popular boy. His manipulative ways often go unnoticed by many, and are a catalyst for the majority of the events in the series. At first he appears to have complete control over his friends, exudes confidence and has an answer for everything. He enjoys being the driver of drama and prides himself on being some type of puppet master. In the effort to keep his life perfect and interesting he does things that even the most self serving person would never do. He plays with people’s emotions. He plays games because he can. Furthermore he does not feel bad about those things until he loses control. As the series progresses we see Lukas lose control of himself, his friends and of the situation due to a distorted sense of self and an exaggerated sense of importance. We end the series with Lukas behind the wheel of the car and driving everyone into a ditch. NEW SERIES: In the new season Lukas is a lawyer, married and with kids. However, he is incredibly unhappy, cheating on his wife with Evie Nixon and getting involved in scams. We learn that the accident left him in a coma for seven months and that he had to relearn to do everything. Even though it looks like he has not learned anything on the surface we see that Lukas is carrying a lot of guilt for what happened and is seeing a therapist in order to cope. 

Evie Nixon ( 34 yo - tbd - Kat Graham ): Evie is  the youngest of the group as she skipped 9th grade. She is initially described as being "the sweetest girl you will ever meet". However, it is shown that underneath her sweet exterior, she will resort to anything in order to keep the power in her grasps, even at the expense of others. She starts the series off dating the head jock boy of Madison High. However it’s quickly revealed that she’s dating him more for status than for romance. When we meet the couple, they’ve yet to have sex and t is revealed that Evie is actually a virgin and is scared to ‘give it away.  She faces a lot of criticism throughout the series, having to deal with her parents divorcing, an abusive older boyfriend and an addiction to antidepressants. However, she eventually learns that her manipulative ways are damaging to others and by the end of the series she becomes a much better person. NEW SERIES: The accident changed Evie. She became angry and distant. Evie is divorced and has a seven year old boy. She has two jobs and no apparent social life which makes her a little bitter. She is having an affair with Lukas Larsen but hates every second of it. 

Gus Chandler ( 35 yo - Kurt Davidson - NPC ): Gus is Luka's best friend, but has an entirely opposite personality. He lacks confidence, is socially uneasy and struggles with school work. He often suffers from panic attacks that he learns to control over the course of the series. He tends to put himself down a lot, especially when it comes to his relationship with girls. He loves comic books, loves science, is very friendly and playful and treats everyone with respect. Gus learns to be more self confident and to stand up for himself which earns a lot of respect from his friends. By the end of the series Gus is engaged to Nancy Buckley. NEW SERIES: We learn that Gus died in the car accident. Some people believe the decision to kill off his character is a bit polemical since the actor died in real life. However, the series creators have stated that having another actor play the part of Gus felt wrong and that they needed the accident to have a serious consequence. “Kurt Davidson is still a huge part of the show and his character’s death  is the driving force of the new season.” In some way that is true since a lot of the show revolves around the 20th anniversary of Gus’ death. 

Nancy Buckley ( 35 - 36 yo - character name - open face claim ): Luka's girlfriend. A girl who can never stay angry at his mischievous behavior for long. Outwardly, Nancy appears shallow, vain and conceited but she works hard and is emotionally mature. She is seen by most as a beautiful and confident girl but she suffers from the same insecurities as everyone else. At the beginning of the series she is dating Lukas and is always trying to make him happy. Eventually she realizes that the relationship is really toxic and distances herself from him. She and Gus start to get closer which causes a lot of complications and arguments between him and Lukas. By the end of the series Nancy learns to value herself more and she and Gus form a beautiful and healthy relationship. NEW SERIES: Nancy suffered a lot after the accident and the death of her fiance and that includes reconstructive surgery on her face which has made her feel really self conscious. She hasn't been able to keep a serious relationship and is emotionally closed off. Currently she works in real estate and seems to be leading a successful life. She has decided to be a surrogate for Ivy and her wife's baby. 

Ben Morrow ( 36 yo - Dean Montgomery - Paul Wesley ): Ben is the party animal of the group. He has a difficult home life; he lost his brother to illness at a young age, and is an emancipated minor due to his ambivalent father and absent mother. When we first meet Ben he is presented as a fun loving pill popper who is always encouraging his friends to have fun. As the series progresses we learn that this attitude is just a front and that Ben’s life is actually filled with pain and rejection from his parents. His father is a crook and his mother has done porn her entire life, which has been a constant embarrassment for Ben. Ben is very volatile and unpredictable and unlike Lukas he very easily loses control of the situation. It is hinted that he is bisexual but it was never fully confirmed. By the end of the series they are rushing him to the hospital as he is overdosing inside the car. When we see the car crash we are left to assume that he definitely died. NEW SERIES: Shockingly Ben survived the accident but it left him with a lot of emotional scars. Unable to find a job he has turned into a life of crime that includes petty theft and drug dealing. The first time we see him again he is getting out of prison after spending six months behind bars for robbing a liquor store. We learn that Lukas helped put him away and that Teddy posted his bail. He also has a lover named Sean who also provides him drugs.

Cara James ( 35 yo - character name - open face claim ): A friend of Emily, an odd girl who suffers from an eating disorder. Cara attempts to hide her own struggles with mental health while her flamboyant parents ignore her in favor of their new baby. We first meet her as she returns to Madison High after spending months in a rehabilitation center. Cara is very observant, aloof and incredibly understanding. To her everything is magical. Her positive attitude gives the show a sense of hope when things get really bad. She and Ben Morrow have a very close relationship that was a constant will they/won't they throughout the series.  By the end of the series she manages to overcome her disorder, and makes plans to leave Madison and travel to Europe. NEW SERIES: Cara made it to Europe after surviving the accident and became a famous model which caused her eating disorder to resurface. After a few scandals and the fact that she is not as young as she used to be, Cara returns to Madison and tries to reconnect with her friends. She finds out that this is easier said than done. 

Teddy Vargas ( 35 - 36 yo - character name - open face claim - latinx ): is an easy-going skater who likes to smoke weed, and as the more sensible and responsible friend, he is often put out by Luka’s behavior. Teddy is forced to act as the leader of the group whenever Gus has a panic attack or when Lukas takes things too far; he is by far the most reliable in a crisis. We learned that his mom took her own life after battling depression and he has always resented his father for not getting her help. He has a very ambitious sister who always looks for the spotlight and manages to get all the attention from his dad. Teddy is always looking to save people and wants what is best for everyone. He is very compassionate and selfless but at the same time he knows when to put his foot down and always stands up for himself. NEW SERIES: Teddy suffered a leg injury and therefore he has to wear a brace. It was hard for him since he was always into sports, especially skating. He became a teacher and is currently the new high school principal at Madison. He tries to guide his students and keep them from doing the same mistakes he did as a kid but he is finding that to be challenging. He and Ben are good friends and we learn that he posted bail for Ben’s early release. Teddy is engaged to Molly Larsen.

Ivy Porter ( 35 - 36 yo - character name - open face claim ): Ivy is coming to terms with her identity as a lesbian. She is used to being the shadow of her sister, and is sulky but perceptive. As the show progresses, she begins to come out of her shell and strives for individuality. Much of this is due to her becoming okay with her sexuality and her feelings for Poppy Drake. She’s a kind and idealistic person but at the same time she can be selfish and passive aggressive. Her relationship with Poppy has its ups and downs but by the end of the series they had decided to stay together and make things work. Ivy was the only one who was not involved in the car crash because she and Poppy were spending the night together. NEW SERIES: Even though she was not involved in the accident Ivy was still affected by it since she was very close to Gus. We learn that she and Poppy broke things off and decided to stay friends. We also learn that Ivy married a woman named Susana and that they have asked Nancy to be their surrogate. Ivy struggles with the idea of starting a family but doesn't know how to talk to Susan about it.

Supporting Cast

Molly Larsen ( 33 - 34 yo - character name - open face claim ): is Luka's younger sister, and shares many of the same qualities as him. She is mysterious and manipulative, but almost mute. We see more of her in season 3 where she is involved in a love triangle and gets involved with a teacher. NEW SERIES: In the new series we learn that she managed to get her life together and is soon to be married to Teddy Vargas. 

Poppy Bird ( 35 - 36 yo - character name - open face claim ): Poppy was Ivy’s on and off girlfriend during the first three seasons of the show. She is very carefree and open minded but at the same time very guarded. She had a difficult time coming to terms with her sexuality which was the cause of a lot of drama between her and Ivy. Eventually she accepted who she was and declared her love for Ivy. NEW SERIES: We learn that she has moved away from Madison and is currently living in Arizona. However she comes back for two episodes to tell Ivy that she has a terminal illness. 

Susana Santoro ( 35 - 36 yo - character name - open face claim - POC ): Ivy’s wife. She works as a veterinarian and has three younger sisters. She is very cheerful, caring and incredibly perceptive. She wants to start a family and knows that Ivy has her doubts about it. 

Tommy Mills ( 35 - 36 yo - character name - open face claim ): Evie’s ex husband who works as a bouncer at the local strip club. He comes off as being extremely rude and seems to have a violent streak. We learn that Evie left him because of his constant drinking and cheating, which is ironic considering she is having an affair with a married man.

Sean Michaels ( 35 - 36 yo - character name - open face claim ): Ben’s lover and drug dealer. Definitely a terrible influence in Ben’s life but at the same time he seems to actually care about him. We learn that he has a sick daughter and that he started to deal drugs in order to pay for her treatment.

Other Cast  

There are other characters on the show that have minor roles like Luka’s wife, some friends, enemies, whatever. Let me know if you’re interested in playing a minor role. 

Crew

Executive producer ( s ):

Director (s):

Writer (s):

Casting Director:

Costume Designer (s):

Make up artist (s): Margot Montgomery, Ashley Benson, 29

[mskathywriteswords]

Cupcakes at Midnight - Chapter 2

No warnings this chapter.

I look at myself in the mirror, wondering where all the years have gone. It feels like last week I was a blushing bride, and yesterday I was picking up the pieces from a failed marriage. But it's been over a decade.

My phone is in the kitchen, I left it there purposely so that I wouldn't obsess over looking at it every five seconds.

Instead, I go through my regular nighttime routine, taking my time with each step. The normalcy of it comforts me. I can pretend that I'm not freaking out on the inside. I scoop the cat litter and refill his water as he meows, begging like he's never been fed before.

I walk back and look at the cupcakes. The cinnamon crunch is gone, of course, but the other three still intrigue me. I've never even heard of some of the flavor combinations Ava's made for me. But I want to try them.

The thought of putting them in my mouth makes me blush, which is ridiculous because surely I'm a grownup who can think dirty things without a childish reaction. I close my eyes and slide my tongue across the silky frosting. The tang of raspberry rises up and makes my mouth water even more. I'm about to dive in to the cake part of the cupcake when I notice my phone lighting up and buzzing.

Ivy must be late night texting me, maybe she's fighting with Matt again. I swear, I don't know if those two will make it to their actual wedding.

But there is a tinge of hope that it's not Ivy.

After debating forcing myself to wait longer to check, I pick the phone up and click the button on the side so I can preview the message.

It's from her.

What if she texted back to ask me to stop texting?

That would be dumb, since she's the one that gave me her number, right?

What if she says it was all a mistake and that note was meant for Ivy? That would make sense; Ivy is gorgeous and statuesque, and ... not me.

But she didn't give Ivy the box of cupcakes, did she?

I drive myself crazy with what-ifs, so I just open the text.

I'm so happy to hear from you. What are you up to tonight? Hope it's not too late to text

I start to tap out a reply, then delete it. Maybe I should wait until tomorrow to reply? Then I realize her message was blue, meaning she'd see the three dots if she happened to be looking at her phone.

And either way, even if it was only going to be a friendship, did I really want to wait and play games? Wasn't I done with all of that?

Another exciting Friday night, wrapped up in a blanket on the couch watching Netflix, very much enjoying these cupcakes. Thank you again. And no, not too late to text - I use the quiet functions once I go to sleep, so you're good to text me anytime

I smile, hoping I'm coming across as genuinely as I feel. When I see the three dots pop up on her side of the screen, my smile grows.

What's on your current to-binge list? Glad you're enjoying the cupcakes. Thank you for inspiring them

Thank god she's a text-in-complete-words person.

Before I walk back to the couch, I pour myself another cup of tea and eye the last two cupcakes. How many cupcakes was too many in one night? I shrug and grab the orange-swirled one.

Well, right now I'm in the middle of Derry Girls. Still have to catch up on Handmaid's on Hulu, but that won't be until after I get through a few (probably boring) documentaries.

Instead of clicking the phone off, I set it on the arm of the couch, face up, so I can see if she replies again. Maybe my TV choices would make her realize how utterly snooze-y my life is.

OMG, which epi of HT are you on? Haven't seen DG, good?

We exchange texts for a few hours, discussing different movies and tv series, finding common likes and dislikes. By the time I yawn for the first time, finally acknowledging how tired I am, I realize it's past 3 am.

Holy shit, I have to get to bed soon. Will you be around tomorrow?

Jane from five years ago would have thought it was being very forward of me to ask, but right-now Jane is enjoying the conversation and ready for more from life.

I will. Any chance we could continue this conversation in person?

I tap out my reply before I even have time to think it through or be too self-conscious.

Absolutely

Awesome. Let's play it by ear, but I'll see you tomorrow, J

The temptation to leave it there gets over-ruled by my giddy, smooshy feelings.

Goodnight. Sweet dreams

That's the last reply in the series, and I set my phone on the nightstand, long ago having moved to bed to charge my phone. I roll to my side and think about what tomorrow will bring. Cat curls up at my feet and makes his displeasure that we're all still awake very well known. My eyes can barely stay open, but my brain is a freight train of excitement.

The next morning, I debate what "too early" to text would be. I don't want to seem overly eager, but I don't want to intentionally withhold a message just to play some weird unwritten rule game.

I get my laundry done, sweep the kitchen, and putter as much as I can, until finally around mid-day, my phone chirps. Cat looks up at me, ever-annoyed that his nap has been interrupted.

Beer, pizza, and extraordinarily dark dystopian future tv watching?

I shake my head and laugh.

What could make for a better Saturday night?

I can think of a few things. For now, it sounds pretty good, right? Wanna meet at your place? Is that too weird / too soon?

Was that a date? Meeting at my place to watch tv?

Sure, not too soon at all. What time?

We make plans for a few hours later, and I'm still unsure if it's a date, but I decide it doesn't matter. I want more fun in my life, so even if we just hang out and get to know each other better, wasn't that the point?

When the doorbell rings, I practically jump out of the chair. I open the door, and Ava looks like she's just come from some punk band concert that would be way too cool for me to even consider. I laugh to myself.

"Hey, come in."

Her hands are full, but she makes her way past me, finding the kitchen immediately.

"I wasn't sure what pizza toppings you like? I don't know how we didn't discuss that. But I went with half cheese, half pepperoni, just to be safe. Sound okay?"

She smiles and a part of me wants to melt at how genuine it is.

"Yeah, sounds great. I'll just grab plates. Do you need a fork and knife?"

The look on her face is absolutely fucking priceless.

"A fork and knife? For what?"

"Oh man, Ivy is so funny, she had me convinced for a while that everyone eats pizza with a fork and knife. Thank god it's just her. I was starting to question everything about my twenties."

"No way. Pizza is a single hand, no utensil kind of food. That's part of what makes it so perfect. I wasn't sure what kind of beer you drink, so I just got something generic."

We open our cans and take them, the pizza, and a roll of paper towels to the coffee table. Between bites, we talk about the season of the show and how we each think it's going; we make predictions on where it might end up. Then finally, when the pizza is gone and we're left with just awkward silence, we put the show on.

I can see Ava looking around my apartment as we watch, maybe trying to learn things about my life? Her eyes are on a particular frame over my fireplace.

"That's my niece, Hailey," I say, smiling.

We're sitting across the couch from each other; not too far, but not too close. Cat was always between us, annoyingly adorable as ever.

"Do you have any siblings?"

She smiles. "Nope. Only child."

"Does that get lonely? I bet it was glorious growing up. No one to fight with for the TV remote, or what kind of pizza to have."

Ava shrugs and smiles, then turns her attention back to the TV. Her body had been angled toward mine, but she shifts, and then scoots closer. Horrible things happen on the show in front of us, but right in the room? She laces her fingers through mine and my whole body warms.

Is this what it's supposed to feel like?

A few hours, laughs, and cupcakes later, the sun has set and we're several episodes into another series. I'm surprised when Ava gets up, yawning. Her arms go over her head as she stretches, and I swear I almost die when I see a sliver of her skin between her shirt and pants.

"I open the bakery in a few hours. I'm sorry, I'm terrible company right now. I probably haven't said ten words in the last hour."

"No need to apologize," I say, standing and touching her arm. "You've been great company. I feel bad I've been keeping you. You were up so late last night, too. All my fault." I laugh, trying to downplay my disappointment that the night is ending.

"Mutual blame," she says, smiling and tugging my arm. It could be a friendly gesture, the hug, but I can't help but hope it's the beginning of something more than a friendship.

[crystal-lillies]

So. About The Lion King (and other Disney remakes)

I'm going to preface this post by saying that I'm in no way saying you shouldn't enjoy this film and the others like it if you want to. I was firmly in the camp of hype for the 2017 Beauty and the Beast, but my feelings have changed since then towards current and future movies. That doesn't negate my legitimate excitement I felt then, so what I will say should not be taken as a slight on anyone's excitement for this movie. These are my thoughts and feelings as a lifelong Disney lover, a fiction writer, and a person with a mild background in film studies.

I really, really, dislike the new remakes of Disney's animated movies. Paying homage to the original in a new twist is one thing, unsucessfully recreating animated magic is another. Yes, I said unsuccessfully, because most if not all of Disney's animated movies are much more beautiful and cinematic as they are, and get more bland and generic when they are translated into live action or, in The Lion King's case, photorealistic CGI.

Take Beauty and the Beast (2017), for example. Be Our Guest barely holds a candle (pun intended) to its animated counterpart. The Tale as Old as Time ballroom sequence was not nearly the masterpiece of cinematography that helped win the animated movie Best Picture. Best Picture! How is it that the original animated film did so well, but the live action remake is barely in people's consciousness? Answer: It broke down a strong story into a convoluted mess and simplified everything else. The strongest bit that drew me to the film in the first place with the teaser trailer was the music, but the live action film can't take credit for that because it was composed before. Sure the instrumental themes sound incredible with the visuals of a crumbling castle and a magical rose. They're supposed to. They do no matter what. I did, in fact, enjoy the movie when it came out. I did listen and sing along to Evermore a bazillion times. But after a while it faded away. When it came on Netflix I still liked the movie, but I felt no desire to watch it. I would rather watch the original, because it was the stronger, better visual story. It's timeless in a way that the live action movie will never be. It's much more beautiful than the live action movie will ever be, no matter how impressive the CGI looks.

Regarding the CGI in The Lion King, I must admit, it is impressive. But it's something Disney has already shown us time and again. The original animated film used a blend of 2D animation and CGI, and that to me feels more impressive when you put that together with the stellar cinematography and shot compostition, the score, the voice acting, and the story. The 3D CGI Lion King is borrowing the score and the story. It's so far weakened the cinematography from the shots of Circle of Life which have been side-by-side compared with the animated film. The color is bland and washed out to look "photorealistic" which detracts from the visually pleasing element of the 2D animation. Speaking of photorealistic blandness, I'm sorry but who is who? Simba and Nala look identical as cubs, and Scar barely stands out. Adult Simba looks like a lion I would see at the zoo, or on Google images. Realistic, amazing, sure, but as far as unique character is concerned, I'm not sure if I would feel anything for him if I didn't already have a connection to the source material. can't speak on the voice acting yet, but I'm sure it'll range from "fine" to "great" notably because James Earl Jones is still in it which skews the margin. I do hope the voice acting is strong, but it can easily just be passable, like it was in Beauty and the Beast. It's looked so far like a shot for shot recreation and I'm not sorry, but that's not enough. If you're going to try to do a "new story for a new generation" it should feel different in more than just look. Take the very successful Broadway musical version for example. THAT is a legitimate live action adaptation, albeit for stage. It's still colorful and beautiful, it adds to the story in distinct ways while keeping the main structure of the movie, and it adds to the music and visual composition of the scenes. The acting has always been stellar when I've seen it, from actors with and without puppetry. *THAT* is impressive and innovative, and still feels incredible every time I see it. I *want* to see it every time it comes in a tour (and I almost always have).

Now, I don't want to be hyper critical of these remakes. You know one that I really enjoy still? 101 Dalmatians. Sure I don't watch it as often as I did the animated movie, but it feels like a different movie, inspired by the original. Roger isn't a musician, he makes video games. Yeah it's a bit dated but in a sweet nostalgic kind of way, and it's fun when at the end Cruella inspires him to make a better game because she's a stronger villain than he could think of. The dogs and other animals don't talk, but you get their feelings through their actions, and it's just as fun and sympathetic to watch. Is it perfect? No. It's a bit campy and weak in some spots but it's an enjoyable, rewatchable film. I'm not sure if it was the attitude around the film, but it doesn't try to proclaim itself as better. The general attitude around these newer remakes comes to be "live action/CGI photorealism is better and more valid of a medium than animation" which is pure and utter bullshit. Yet, how many animated movies has Disney put out in comparison to their live action ones in the past 5-10 years? Why do they need to remake great things and make them weaker when they can just create new great things? I know why, or one reason why anyway, but it's a disheartening reason. I've always looked up to Disney as storytellers because I am a writer, I want to tell beautiful and inspiring stories. I love Disney, but that's why I am critical with it as a company and a content creator. I know the incredible work it is capable of, and when it doesn't sustain that work consistently in favor of cheapness, I'm less likely to remain positive about Disney. I'm less likely to support it and its creations, because I don't feel anything behind them.

TL;DR- Disney's trend of "live action" remakes of animated classics feels *and* shows as hollow and bland, and the concept of them detracts from the legitimacy of animation as a medium of storytelling. Disney is capable of producing great, heartfelt, and intelligent content, and because of its corporate lifeless feel anymore, I dislike the projection of the company's future content in the pipeline.

[minniekirra]

Fix You

Inspired by the song of the same name which has inspired many beautiful The 100 videos.

In which Clarke is working through emotions and decides that taking Bellamy to Christmas with her mom as her fake boyfriend is a great idea. 

Clarke lay awake and stared out her window which was illuminated by the reflection of street lights off snow. She couldn’t sleep and she knew she wouldn’t, not until she solved the problem that had plagued her since last fall. It was late November, right around the time she and Lexa had broken up last year. When she had poured her heart out to her and had been met with coldness and an unwillingness to try to understand her feelings. They had broken up on the anniversary of her father’s death. Clarke felt like her heart had too many holes and she couldn’t plug them all at once. A tear leaked out and fell into her hair.

Earlier that day she had been invited by her mom to Christmas with her new husband, Kane, and their mutual friends, Lexa’s parents. Which, of course, meant only one thing. Lexa and her new girlfriend would be there too. And they would be happy and rich and Clarke would be looked down on for being an art teacher and she just didn’t want to go.

Or… what if she didn’t have to go alone? She wiped her face and rolled out of bed. This could actually work. She darted down the hallway, barely knocked on the door, then burst into his room.

“Bellamy!”

“What?” He was immediately up and on his feet, searching for danger. “What’s wrong, Clarke?”

She was momentarily stunned by the sight of him shirtless, but then redirected her attention to her amazing idea.

“Would you be my boyfriend?”

It was Bellamy’s turn to be stunned. He sputtered, started to say something, stopped, ran a hand through his hair, stood perfectly still, and then asked, “what?”

“I was thinking that you could be my boyfriend for Christmas, you know?” Clarke stepped toward him, but that just seemed to make Bellamy more nervous so she stopped. “Because I have to go home to see my mom and Kane. Lexa and Costia, her girlfriend, are going to be there and I don’t want to be alone and I know Octavia is with Lincoln and Indra this year and you’re sad and I don’t want you to be alone and I don’t want to be alone and I kind of want to stick it to Lexa that I have a hot boyfriend now, so…” Clarke ran out of words and remembered to breathe.

Bellamy smirked. “You think I’m hot?”

Clarke blew out a breath, exasperated. “Is that really all you got out of it?”

“No, but that was the main thing.” He held up a hand before Clarke could get mad again. “I will go with you for Christmas. I know it means a lot to you.” He finished softly and Clarke found herself surprisingly near tears again.

“Yeah, well.” She didn’t know how to diffuse the situation. “It’s not just for me.” Her words were defensive, but she had just delved deeper into feelings. The intimacy in the air proved that she had done the opposite of diffusing the situation. Clarke sighed and decided to go with it, even if she hated feelings sometimes.

“I know.” He grabbed her hand and squeezed. “Thanks, Princess.”

Clarke sighed. She would deal with that horrid nickname if it meant that Bellamy would be by her side during what was sure to be an eventful Christmas.

The weeks passed by in a comfortable blur. Clarke was occupied with planning and executing the many holiday art projects that her students required to be happily engaged in the many holidays that happened around this time of the year.

She and Bellamy also fell into another pattern of sorts. They would come home from their respective schools (or colleges in Bellamy’s case) and plan how they were going to be a couple. They planned when they first started falling for each other and their first kiss (Clarke initiated it on Halloween because Bellamy was too scared, but Bellamy would argue that they had both initiated it). They needed to be sure that their relationship would pass inspection. Clarke lived in fear that Lexa would figure out that she had just brought Bellamy so that she wouldn’t be the only one without a partner. But she knew it was deeper than that.

They would eventually stop planning and just start talking. About things that were important to them, like their students, and their families. Bellamy had been Clarke’s friend for ages, but she had never felt this close to him. They would talk about unimportant things too, like who had eaten the last of the Raisin Bran, who was more likely to date a movie star, and whether or not they would hold hands and touch in front of their family. Maybe that one was important, at least in Clarke’s heart, but she tried to pretend it wasn’t.

“Maybe we should, just a little. Like I could hold your hand when we go to dinner with everyone. Or we could just link arms, you know whatever you want. Whatever you’re comfortable with.” It was obvious Bellamy was not comfortable with this topic. He pushed a tan hand through his mussed hair.

Oddly, the more nervous Bellamy became, the more at ease Clarke felt. Was it weird to take pleasure in your friend’s unease? Clarke laughed. “Bellamy, we can do whatever feels like would be normal in the situation.” She paused. “I would be fine holding your hand or your arm. It doesn’t matter to me. Hell, Bellamy, we already live together, it’s not like we haven’t touched before.”

“Yeah, but not like that, you know?” Bellamy said.

Clarke knew. She didn’t want to think about the odd pulling sensation that suddenly appeared in her stomach though. “I know, Bellamy. I’m sorry that I’m asking so much of you. We don’t have to touch each other at all if that makes you feel more comfortable.”

“No.” Bellamy blushed a little. “It’s ok. I’m just nervous that I won’t fit in you know? I don’t come from money and maybe your mom might not think I’m the best match for you.”

“Hey, Bellamy,” Clarke said softly. “You are the best fake boyfriend I could ever have. My mom doesn’t judge other people for not having high powered jobs, just me.” Clarke sighed, then reached out to grab his hand. “And even if you’re just my fake boyfriend, I still love you. And my mom will see that you love me, and that makes you perfect.” Clarke smiled, feeling a little embarrassed herself. She had been doing a lot of digging in her emotions recently and finding something there that she had never dreamed possible. “Anyways,” she said to Bellamy’s stunned expression. “We’re already holding hands.”

Bellamy’s answering smile was blinding.

The night before Clarke and Bellamy went to Clarke’s mom’s house (Clarke refused to call it home- her home was with Bellamy now), their friend group had their annual Christmas Party. This year, it was at Octavia’s and Lincoln’s place. Octavia flitted about it like a Christmas-mad fairy, putting up twinkly lights, candy canes, and mistletoe everywhere.

“So you can finally kiss Bell,” she said to Clarke, who had come over early to help with the flitting.

Clarke just rolled her eyes. “You know we’re just pretending to be a couple, Octavia.” She huffed. “And it hasn’t even started yet!”

Octavia smiled sweetly. “But it could be something more, don’t try and deny it. I’ve seen the way you look at each other.”

Clarke groaned. “I almost know what you’re talking about. But, to be honest, I’m still kinda nervous about going to see my mom and having Lexa there too. That means that I’m not completely over her, right? That means that I still need time to figure myself out?”

“Only you can answer those questions, Clarke.” Octavia patted her shoulder. “But, if you want my opinion, you could do with dating someone who already loves you endlessly.” She stared hard at Clarke, like she was waiting for her to figure something out that was very important.

“Yeah, well.” Clarke shrugged. “I guess we’ll see what happens.”

“Oh, come on, Clarke!” Octavia groaned. “It’s ok to love someone. Especially if that someone spends half his time pining after you and the other half watching dramatic shows on Netflix with you.”

Clarke sighed through her nose. Oddly enough, she felt tears pricking at the back of her eyes. She felt like she had to deny something desperately. She just didn’t know what.

“He doesn’t love me like that.” Clarke raked a hand through her choppy hair. “And even if he did, I don’t think it would end well, so it’s best to just not.”

Octavia’s mouth turned down. “You know you deserve someone wonderful, right, Clarke?”

Clarke’s eyes stung, she didn’t know why it wouldn’t stop. Maybe it was all the pine in the air. She shook her head. “I do want something nice, it’s just-” she took a breath. “Bellamy deserves someone who isn’t so messed up.”

“He only wants you though.” Octavia’s eyes bored into Clarke’s. Clarke finally broke away to shake her head again. She couldn’t, she didn’t love him like that, and he didn’t love her like that. There was nothing more to say. He would just leave her when he couldn’t understand why she was upset about her mom finding someone so soon, even if Kane did have wonderful hair and resented the pressure that Abby put on her to find a job that would pay more and “lead to better things.” Maybe Bellamy wouldn’t understand why she would just want to be happy and live. But maybe that was the worst thing she could think about Bellamy, because he wasn’t her ex girlfriend, he was someone else entirely and maybe she wasn’t giving him enough credit. But maybe she didn’t want to think about this anymore because it might lead down a dangerous road and she didn’t know if she’d be able to stop once she started.

Clarke just asked, “So where do these sparkly pinecones go?”

Clarke caught a disappointed look before the Christmas pixie took over Octavia’s face again. “Those go on the coffee table, next to the glittering cookies.”

Clarke smiled and tried to relax. It was much easier to pretend that she and Bellamy were just friends, but she felt like things had been changing. She shook it off and tried to have a good time with her friends. It was easier when she was buzzed. Clarke laughed and smiled through the night, she could do this.

The next day dawned bright and glittery, just like Octavia’s pinecones. Oddly enough, Clarke shook off the jitters from the previous night and relaxed as she and Bellamy drove the four hours through the countryside to her mother’s house. Being with Bellamy and away from the crush and bustle of the city made her feel buoyant. She felt she needed to offer Bellamy one last chance to get out of this. She could do it on her own anyway.

“Do you still want to do this?” She glanced over at Bellamy who had his cat-sock clad feet up on the dash. “You don’t have to, you know. I would be fine on my own. Octavia did invite you to come with her and Lincoln to meet his family. Or you could still come, but just as friends, my mom would probably be ok with that.” Clarke rearranged her now slightly sweaty grip on the steering wheel.

She felt Bellamy’s attention as he turned to stare at her. She didn’t dare glance over again. “I know that I don’t have to, but I want to.” She could practically feel him run his hand through his hair. “I just… I’m just not ready to see Octavia happy with another family that isn’t our own, even if it is only the two of us.”

Clarke felt her heart melt. “I get that. Change is hard.” Then in a slightly lighter tone she said, “Either way, you’re a part of my family now, Bellamy.” She did glance at him then, and smiled.

Bellamy smiled back. “You’re a part of my family too.” He reached over and squeezed her hand.

Clarke went through the rest of the day with her heart glowing. She truly was happy to see her mom when they arrived at the house. Abby behaved very well and didn’t bring up her disappointment in Clarke’s profession once. Kane and Abby fluttered around Bellamy, bringing him drinks and asking how he liked being a college professor. Abby even went so far as to say that she was truly happy Clarke had found someone who made her incandescently happy and that friends made the best partners, with a look at Kane. She also said that they were very happy that they had finally found gotten around to getting together. Clarke’s face was very red for most of the afternoon.

But, they were that cheesy, happy family for one glorious afternoon. Lexa and her family were supposed to arrive the next day. Clarke almost felt bad for being so happy. It wasn’t real after all.

They decorated cookies and Clarke smeared frosting on the tip of Bellamy’s nose. He chased her around the kitchen island for revenge. When he caught her from behind, he rubbed his nose on her cheek. Clarke couldn’t breathe, she was laughing so hard. Embarrassingly, Abby snapped a picture of the moment and cooed, “How cute! I’ll put it above my desk.”

“Mom, no. Please.” Clarke had never been more desperate, even though she still smiled.

“No, no, honey. You never send me pictures of yourself so I have to take what I can get.”

Clarke almost started begging. “That’s what Instagram is for.”

“What is Instagram, darling?” Abby looked puzzled.

Clarke gave up. “Nevermind,” she groused. She didn’t feel bad quite as bad about it as she let on though.

“Now,” Abby admonished. “You two have had a long day. It’s time for bed.”

Last year, Clarke might have wanted to scream at Abby to stop mothering her. But this year… something was different. She felt how lucky she was to have someone who loved her that much. Who loved her enough to accept so completely a stranger that she had chosen as her partner. Who loved her enough to want her to be happy and have proof of it.

Clarke smiled, a bright blinding smile. “Alright, Mom.”

Once they were in her room a feeling of unease drifted over Clarke. She had never minded having only a full size bed before, but now with Bellamy…

“I can sleep on the floor if you want,” she said with her face turning a bright red.

“If anyone should sleep on the floor, it’s me.”

“No.” He could be so stubborn sometimes. Clarke loved that. “You are doing me a favor by coming here so you should at least get to sleep on a bed.”

“It’s fine, Clarke,” he mumbled.

“No, it’s not!” Clarke practically yelled. Why did he never take anything for himself? “Take the bed.”

“No, I won’t!”

“Yes, you will!”

“No, I won’t!”

“Yes, you will!”

“Fine!” Bellamy was breathing hard. “You are a ridiculous best friend. But I will only take it if you take it with me.”

In one blissful instant, Clarke’s anger was swept away. She smiled a little. “Fine, but I’m not saying sorry if I kick you in the night.”

Bellamy smiled. “Fine.” The word was soft yet final.

They moved around the room, putting on their pajamas with occasional banter about who looked more ridiculous, Bellamy in his gladiator covered matching pants and shirt or Clarke in her feather pen covered flannel. The air became thicker and more awkward as they made their last moves toward the bed. Clarke could barely hear, her heart thundered so loudly in her ears. She didn’t know why she was so nervous.

There was just enough room left in the bed for a thin sliver of heated space between them. Clarke tried to breathe and think about something other than the space. She took a breath, but Bellamy beat her to it.

“Never thought I’d get to know you this well.” Clarke could practically hear his trademark smirk when she snorted in response.

“Well, we wouldn’t be best friends if we didn’t sleep together at least once,” Clarke said. Now it was Bellamy’s turn to snort.

“So I’m not best friends with Miller because I haven’t slept with him?”

Clarke rolled her eyes. Of course he would get technical. “I seem to remember certain late nights when you two would fall asleep on top of each other on the couch…” Clarke trailed off, smirking.

Bellamy rolled over to face her. “Does it count when you’re drunk?”

He was suddenly very close. She could see every single freckle across his brown nose. His breath touched her ear. It took all her will power to force her thoughts back to their conversation. “Yes, Bellamy.” The way her breath moved the curls on the side of his face fascinated Clarke.

Her hand twitched. She wanted so badly to twine those loose curls around her fingers and see how the dark brown contrasted against her light hands. Clarke didn’t know what to do. She didn’t know if she should even want this. It would be much safer to just roll over and try to sleep.

“Clarke,” Bellamy said softly. He reached for her hand, asking with his eyes if it was ok. Clarke just stared at him. She didn’t know what to do. He rubbed his finger over the back of her hand and suddenly she burned, everywhere. “You are and always will be my best friend, but I can’t help myself from wanting more.”

Clarke tried to blink the burning sensation in her eyes away, but it just intensified. Did she want this? She hadn’t thought about Lexa in so long, the reason she had brought him with her seemed to insignificant now. Why did Bellamy never want to take anything for himself? He gave up Christmas with Octavia so that she wouldn’t feel lonely or awkward. He was so good but she didn’t know if she could have a relationship that deep again. It had hurt too much the first time. Tears started streaming down her cheeks.

“Clarke,” Bellamy said again. He wiped away the tears on her face so gently. It made Clarke cry more. “I understand if you’re not ready or if you don’t want to. Just say the word.” Bellamy’s face was the picture of unhappiness. He would not push it, no matter how he felt. He cared so much and it broke her heart. She loved him. Clarke blinked and jerked back as the thought entered her head.Bellamy somehow managed to look even more unhappy and pulled back. “It’s ok, Clarke. Let’s just go to bed.” He tried to smile. He was the most precious thing Clarke had ever seen.

“No, Bellamy.” Clarke reached out and grabbed his hand even as tears still silently rolled down her cheeks. “I think that you’re worth it.”

Bellamy’s face glowed and Clarke was reminded of the sparkly Christmas cookies they had made earlier. She pulled him close and buried her head against his neck. “I want to try with you,” she mumbled against him. “Do you want to try with me?”

“Yes, of course.” Bellamy wrapped his arms around her tightly and she melted into him. The anxiety leaked out of Clarke as Bellamy held her. She felt oddly calm and almost giddy. She pulled back just enough to look into his molten, caring eyes. She tipped her lips forward, just a bit, and let him close the tiny last bit of distance between them.

The kiss was warm and gentle on her soul. She twined her fingers into his curls and sighed contentedly against his soft lips. He moaned slightly and pulled her tighter against him. The kiss turned to flames and Clarke lost herself in it until he moved his lips down her jaw and sucked on her neck, hard. Clarke almost moaned and then remembered where they were. She pulled back a bit and laughed quietly instead.

“Maybe we shouldn’t be doing this here.” Clarke was disappointed but knew it was probably for the best. “I kind of want to take it slowly anyway.”

Bellamy’s eyes twinkled. “Of course. I’m just excited that I get to fuss over my real girlfriend tomorrow.”

Butterflies flitted around Clarke’s stomach. She didn’t know how she could go from being so lonely to so lucky in just one night. But then again, it hadn’t been just one night. It had been all the nights they spent together, talking, bickering, and laughing together.

Clarke laughed again. “You’re not going to fuss over me, you’re just going to tease me.”

Bellamy looked offended. “No, trust me. I’m going to fuss, I’m great at it.”

Clarke giggled and nestled into her best friend. “Thank you for being there for me.”

“Anytime, darling.” Bellamy pulled her close. Clarke breathed him in and fell into a peaceful sleep. Everything else could wait. For now all that mattered was that she had Bellamy and he had her.

[calistapledger]

The Thrill of First Love

A/N: This actually takes place before the reaction fic but it was still a work in progress when I posted the reaction. I’ll post a masterlist of all the pics in chronological order tomorrow. Props to anyone who can guess which fave book character inspired Cal to become an inventor (hint: the character is from a beloved children’s book series that became Netflix series recently). Tagging @isabellafaulkner, @ariciaeast, @debbieker and @evadne-leventhorpe beause I know they loveee reading about Calystair.

I settled in college perfectly well. The workload was rather intensive but I knew what I was signing up for when I sent in my application. The experience was made even better when I was given the most helpful professors who were willing to go over the lesson again after the class in case I missed anything. I had easy going acquaintances but never anyone to truly open up to until Eurus showed up. Yes, Eurus Ledger, my annoying little brother or best friend since birth. It really depends on my mood.

I had finished a successful term and I was all ready for my second term. I breathed in the fresh air of the college campus as I made my way to my Creative Writing class. Engineering was my major but it didn't hurt to deepen my love for my hobby. I was minding my own business when I heard a loud thud slump next to me.

“Hey sis.” Came his sultry voice. Did he really have to use the flirty tone with me? I jumped in my seat before turning to his direction. “What are you doing here?” Wasn't he off parading as a model? He came close enough to show off his grin and I pursed my lips in a tight smile. “Mom and dad said that if I was gonna be a model I’d have to get a formal education for after my looks fade.” He fainted dramatically on my lap. What a baby. I rolled my eyes before pulling him up.

“Okay...that doesn't explain why you're here.”

“Oh please, you aren't the only one who got Mom’s brains. Besides Angeles Uni is near where I work, Cal.” He scoffed. I raised an eyebrow. “Where exactly do you work?” “We aren't called the Angeles Angels for fun, sis.” Have I been so caught up with my life here that I've completely shut out my brothers? He must have caught the guilty expression I wore and chuckled.

“I forgive you, sis. Let's get together for lunch to catch up. Now pay attention, class’s starting.” New friends can be nice but there’s nothing like reconciling with your best friend.

Lunch had another surprise awaiting me. Eurus and I walked laughing over Zephy starting a food fight in school. Father had turned red as a fire truck when the school called him up. Seems like Zeph is going a rebel phrase. I was laughing and the next thing I know I'm in Aly’s arms. His aftershave was always too prominent for me to ignore. He kisses me and I hear Eurus making a gagging noise. Real mature, E. In retaliation, I stuck out my tongue in his direction. I smooth over Aly's shirt and grin up at my boyfriend.

“This is the best surprise. How did you manage to get off work?”

“There's only a few girls left in the competition so security isn't as tight as it used to be. I managed to get Emory to cover for me.” Trusty Emory, he was Aly’s second in command and always reliable. “I also realised it's due time that we went out on a real date.” 

I gasped, I’d been so busy with college that I didn't realise Aly and I hadn't gone on a real date. Before I could excitedly agree, Eurus cleared his throat behind me. I internally groaned. I did promise him that we'd catch up during lunch. I turned to smile at him before going back to my boyfriend.

“I promised Eurus we'd have lunch. Aly, this is my kid brother and best friend, Eurus. E, this is Aly, my -” “The guy who ruined your chances of becoming Queen.” My brother sneered. “Excuse me?” I was completely caught off guard. I didn't know E cared so much about the Selection. “You could have had a better life, Cal.” I have never heard my brother be this upset before, it was unnerving to see him so. I could tell Aly was too stunned to say anything, his breathing was all messed up.

“I am having a better life! Dominic would have probably stuck me in that cage in a prison of a dress, playing shadow to his rule! Here I'm with the man I love and going to Uni, something I never thought possible without Aly and my friends suggesting it. So don't you dare talk to him like that, E.” I was seething. It was not fair to Aly to be yelled at just because Dominic was a douche and I didn't like him. Eurus could only scoff bitterly.

“That doesn’t mean I have to like this one.” “His name is Alystair and you will treat him like a person but I understand. I owe you lunch so I’ll meet you at the cafeteria.” I waited for him to be out of earshot before turning to Aly.

“I’m so sorry he did that, it completely blindsided me.” I giggled softly at the pun, “Pun intended. I’ll meet you after lunch, alright?” I kissed him goodbye and headed off to find my brother. Lucky for me, E caught me as soon as I made a pass for the cafeteria. I loved being independant and all, navigating the campus on my own but sometimes it was nice having someone to guide me around.

“I’m not going to pretend I’m not upset with you. That was completely uncalled for, I thought you thought the Selection was a joke?” Was the first thing I said to him when we sat down. I knew he was rolling his eyes. “We all saw how happy you were at the Palace. And to throw it all away for that guard, was a waste.” I narrowed my eyes at him when he spat out the word ‘guard’.

“Being a guard is not beneath you, Eurus. In fact, they are a caste above you, you will do well to remember that. I did not throw it away for a guard, why can’t you believe that I’m truly happy? You know what, I thought I could do this without being furious with you but I am. I need to cool off. Let’s take a raincheck on this lunch.” With that, I stormed out of the dining hall. The nerve my brother had to act this way. I exited the campus, and always there when I needed him was Aly, waiting for me.

“I knew you couldn’t talk to him while you were still upset. Are you okay to go on a real date?” He pulled me closer to his side, comfortingly. I leaned in gratefully and nodded. I just needed to be whisked away and pampered today. I knew I could trust Aly to do just that. We got into the car and next thing I know, I hear waves crashing against the sand. I have never heard a more lovely sound at the moment. The sea breeze hit my face as soon as I stepped out of the car. I inhaled deeply, taking it all in.

“Now I know you can’t see how lovely the water looks but I know how much you love the sound of waves crashing and the smell of the sea. So I thought the beach would be a perfect place for our first date.” I practically tackled him with my hug. I thanked him over and over before kissing him all over. We giggled as we clumsily made our way to a table he had someone set up for us. I felt extremely fancy, and couldn’t stop grinning.

“Hello, I’m Jeeves and I’ll be your personal waiter for the day.” A personal waiter! He really shouldn’t have. Once Jeeves was away, collecting our drink selection, I pounced on Aly.

“You shouldn’t have spent so much on me!” He slipped his hand on top of mine, sneakily. “I wanted to so don’t protest. Just enjoy it.” I huffed before giving in. Jeeves brought us our drink selection; I opted for cider while Aly settled for red wine. Then came out a full course meal, I could barely keep up. They were hard to keep track of so I just focused on the most important thing: My date.

“How do we go about this? This isn’t exactly a proper first date, we know so much about each other.” I asked, I didn’t want to royally screw this up like I did my last first date. He reached out and rubbed my shoulder, comfortingly.

“Hey, relax. It’s just me. And you know I’ll definitely be more interactive than your last date.” We laughed at that. I wondered how my friends were faring, being in the Elite. Half of us managed to get in and I was so proud of them, I just hope Dominic wouldn’t break their hearts. I thought about what Aly and I could talk about when it hit me.

“You just lit up, what brilliant idea do you have now?” I heard the smile in his voice. “I realised you only know so much about me is because of all the media exposure I’ve gotten from the Selection. We’ve never really talked about your life before the palace. I only know you were a Five and you played the violin. I’ll be honest, I pegged you to be a pianist.”

“A pianist? With these hands?” He snorted as he splayed out his fingers towards me. I took them in my own hands and fiddled with them “I happen to like these hands, thank you very much.” I stuck my tongue at him before continuing, “Well, tell me more! I want to know all about your life.”

He was quiet for a moment and I could hear the gears turning in his head. He was probably putting it all together in his head coherently.

“Where do I even begin?”

I can tell you firsthand, Alystair Ajax Costas has had an interesting life. His Grandfather is the Royal General and his Mother was Major Anya Costas, next in line to be General after the General retires. Before that could happen, Anya fell in love with Aly’s father, Ajax. Of course General Costas didn’t approve of the match, seeing that she was a Two and his father was a painter, a Five. Anya didn’t care for her father’s opinion and ran off with her lover. She became a Five and soon had Aly, Alice and later Ambrose. I didn’t even know he had a brother until now. He simply chuckled when I relayed this to him.

He was raised in a loving household full of art and music - his mother picked up the piano soon after marrying Ajax. So I was right about him having pianist fingers, it was literally in his blood. At some point in his youth, he became fascinated with the Royal Guards and his mother eventually revealed to him that he came from a long line of Royal Generals, Majors and Captains. Immediately, he was taken to living up to that dream and begged his mother to take him to see his Grandfather. Long story short, his Grandfather was too happy to see his grandson and offered him a position right away. The General never really forgave Anya for her life choices but they were civil now.

“Within the next five years, I’m looking to be Major Costas.” That was a wonderful life story and I was completely enticed.

“Oh, that was a treat! I want to know more! How did you decide that you wanted to play the violin instead of going into arts?” “How did you know you wanted to be an inventor?” He countered, teasingly, “It was a gut feeling, although I always knew I was meant for something bigger.”

“You’re wrong, it wasn’t a gut feeling for me. A favourite book character inspired my want to be an inventor and with Uncle Ro, it all fell into place.” I finished the last of my dessert and propped my elbows up on the table, resting my face on my fists.

“Now tell me more about Ambrose! I can’t believe you never told me about him.” “He never came up.” “You could have just been, ‘Hey, this is Alice, we have little Ambrose back at the mansion.’” I dropped my voice really low to mimic him but failed miserably.

“I do not sound like that!” He grinned goofily, I could tell, his voice lightened up but then continued to tell me more about his brother. Ambrose dabbled in both music and art. He was a painter and photographer; he usually melded the two mediums together, and played all sorts of instruments beautifully.

“He’s gay as well so we can set him up with Eurus, if that would earn me brownie points.” I froze momentarily at that statement. Aly seemed to notice and froze with me. “Did I say something wrong? I didn’t mean to offend you.” “What are you going on about, you nutter? I’m pansexual, remember? I’m completely fine with gay people, it just never occurred to me that Eurus could be gay.”

“Ah.” With that one word, I could tell how relieved my boyfriend was.

“It makes sense.” I shrugged and we moved on. Eventually we were done with our meal and getting to know one another for the day. We decided to call it a day. We stood up and I sincerely thanked him for a wonderful date. He kissed my hand like a perfect gentleman in response. I simply rolled my eyes and pulled him to me.

When we kissed, it felt like the very first time. My chest was exploding with fireworks and I felt completely at home. He smelled like the sea breeze that had washed over him during the last few hours we spent at the beach. He tasted of chocolates and I couldn’t get enough.

“Now, that was a proper thank you.” He laughed when we pulled away. “Take me out more often. There’s more where that came from.” I winked at him.

[just-jordie-things]

Oceans - Stuart Twombly

inspired by the song Oceans by Seafret word count: 4614

The scene was picture perfect.  Bright smiles, twinkling eyes, the fairy lights hung around the outside of the cafe illuminating the dark night.  Every time I looked at the picture, I could feel my heart beating in my chest.  My friends, all sitting around this horrible metal table.  Arms loosely wrapped around each other, cheeks pressed together, peace signs, a typical picture of a bunch of goony young adults.

The rose gold frame sat on my desk, catching my eye every time I typed away on my laptop, or watched Netflix, or worked on a new project Google handed to me.  I’d look at it for a few moments, it was never just a glance.  It probably took a good chunk of my day actually.  I’d stare at it, eyes flickering to every little detail.  The whiteness of Neha’s teeth, Lyle’s glasses slipping slightly down the bridge of his nose, one of Billy’s eyes was half closed, my hair was messy, spilling over my shoulders from under Stuart’s beanie.  My gaze would linger there, and if I was feeling peculiarly nostalgic or depressed, I’d gently caress the glass protecting the photo with my fingers, then go back to my work like nothing had happened.  Oh the vicious cycle of depression.

Today was the day where I got up early, ready for whatever my job would bring me.  Some days were harder than others, but never usually too difficult.  Though every night I walked back into my apartment with heavy feet.  But that had nothing to do with the difficulty of work.  No that was just plain anxiety and stress.

See, it used to be incredible.  Working on the greatest team of delinquents, that had quickly become my closest friends.  Winning the intern competition last year was probably one of the greatest moments in my life, that I’d remember forever.  Us dorks felt like we were on top of the world.  We’d even gone out for celebratory pizza afterwards.  That’s when things started happening.  That’s when I grew closer to Stuart Twombly.

~ 

The irritating and sarcastic boy that couldn’t handle being away from his phone, had seemed to transform into a completely new person in a matter of forty five minutes.  I hadn’t spoken much with him, in fact we’d never even been alone together or held a solid conversation without the rest of the team being there.  So when he’d sat in the same booth with me, I was slightly confused.  Neha had quickly slid in across from me, which I silently thanked her for, seeing she was the closest person I had on the team.  Lyle was on the other side of Stuart, fitting three of us into one booth (which left absolutely no space between our legs) and Billy and Nick and Yo-Yo were squashed in with Neha.

The night was fun though, we’d ordered many pizzas, and stayed until closing.  We joked around, made fun of Gharam, and his relentless act towards asking me out. 

“I mean, how many times did he try?” Nick snickered.  I blushed and looked down at my lap. 

“Seriously, the creep should’ve left you alone after the sixtieth decline” Lyle said, an awkward laugh following.  “How about a date with a real man?” My eyes widened slightly as I tried to see of he was being serious or not.  I couldn’t really tell.

“Come on man, Gharam just started leaving her alone give her the space to breathe” Stuart spoke before I could say anything at all.  I looked up at him for a moment, just as everyone began laughing again.  But he somewhat ignored my glance, pretending to be interested in whatever Billy was saying.  When I realized he wasn’t going to look back at me, I turned away and picked at my meal.

We’d stayed for another few hours that night, until a waitress came over and told us that she couldn’t let us stay any longer.

Her eyes were bored, dull as she looked over our table.  I’d figured we’d annoyed her.  We weren’t exactly a quiet group.  But they landed on Stuart, to which she’d grinned mischievously, and her blue eyes lit up with what I could only describe as desire.  Though the look didn’t bother me, it did confuse me greatly.

“Alright, we’ll be on our way” Nick had said, and everyone began sliding out of the booths.  Stuart stood, and our waitress opened her mouth to speak, but he turned away from her, smiling softly towards me as I scooted out of the seat.  Stuart held his hand down to me, and it landed on the small of my back as I stood.  It stayed there as I walked with him to the front door of the restaurant.

Again, confusing me greatly.

But as soon as we were out of the view I looked wildly up to him, my eyes wide and brows furrowed with confusion and question.  But he shook his head, just barely, but enough for me to close my mouth before any questions could be asked.  The others had caught up to where we were waiting and we all left.

We walked up to the Golden Gate Bridge, as we’d done a few times before to go relax.  I’d been there countless times, (I lived in San Francisco) but every time I went it was still just as breathtaking.  The group of us laid down in the grass, enjoying the view of the night sky.

“Does anyone know any constellations?” Yo-Yo asked, a few feet away from me. 

“Yeah I do” I said, already searching the sky for familiar ones.  “There’s Orion” I said, pointing up to where I recognized his belt.  “That’s Delphinus, Taurus, Pavo” I looked for more, licking my lips as I tried to remember them all.  “I think.. Yeah thats Scorpius, and that’s-”

“How do you remember these all?” Stuart asked from right next to me.  I turned my head, meeting his whiskey brown eyes.  I blinked for a moment, then chewed on my lip.

“I uh… I minored in astrology for two years” I murmured.  I didn’t mean to be quiet, my voice just sorta failed me.  Stuart smiled at me, eyes flickering between mine and making my breathing shallow before he looked back up at the stars.  I continued to stare at him for a moment, how freckles scattered over his jaw, and long strands of chocolate brown hair poked out from under his beanie, slightly over his ear.  When I felt I’d stared for too long, I blushed and quickly looked away.

I think I was growing very fond of this Twombly boy.

When it became so late, the sun began to poke up, I was nudged.  Apparently that night I’d fallen asleep in the grass.  

My eyes fluttered open to see Stuart and Neha hovering over me.  I waved them off and closed my eyes again, turning on my side.

“Come on y/n” Stuart sighed, and a few seconds later I felt strong arms pull me up.  I yelped, jolting and opening my eyes quickly, only to hear his chuckle.  “You’re fine, just go to sleep” Again, I’d found myself confusedly staring at him.  But he didn’t see.  He was talking quietly with Billy and Nick.  This time I fell back asleep. 

When I woke up again, I was being shook gently.  I yawned, eyes landing on Stuart.

“Wha-where am I-”

“Calm own would you? Don’t you trust me?” I thought for a moment, opening and closing my lips.  That was when I registered I was sitting in a taxi cab, and my head had been laying on his shoulder, cushioned by his beanie.  Which still sat there.

“S-sorry did I fall asleep o-on you?” He chuckled and shrugged.

“Your fine.  This is your complex right?” He asked, pointing up at the building lot we just pulled into.  I nodded.  “Good, that’s what Neha told me” He said.  I straightened up, cracking my back as the driver parked.  Stuart opened the door, stepping out and holding his hand out to me.  My eyes locked on his for a long moment, before slipping my palm into his and letting him help me out of the car.

In fact, he’d walked me inside, and into the elevator to the third floor, down the hall to my room as I’d directed.  I stuffed my hand into my pocket, grabbing my key and unlocking the door.  When I stepped inside, I realized our hands were still conjoined.

“Would you like a drink?” I asked, not wanting to let go for an unknown reason.

“U-uhm sure” Stuart nodded, and I gestured my head for him to come inside.  I released his hand, kicking off my shoes and padding my bare feet into the kitchen, and searching in the fridge for a beer.  “I-I’ve never been here before” Stuart spoke, looking around.  It was a pretty open apartment, the kitchen and living room practically conjoined.  Only two doors, one leading to the bathroom, and one to my bedroom.

“No one has, really” I said, plopping two glasses onto the countertop, then searching for a bottle opener.

“Seriously?” Stuart walked over to me, standing on the other side of the counter.  I nodded, going through drawers until I finally found it.  I easily popped off the caps of the two glasses, and slid one over to him.  He took it happily and I picked up mine. 

“No, I don’t have company over for anything” I said with a shrug, heading to the living room.

“Not even Neha?” 

“Not a single person” I said, plopping onto the couch.  Stuart sat next to me, turning sideways to face me.  “To you Stuart Twombly” I said, raising my glass.  “For being my first guest” He rose his glass, to clink with mine.

We must’ve sat there for an hour, drinking until I was out of beer, and glasses of empty alcohol bottles were all over my coffee table.  Not necessarily to get drunk, but we were having too good of a time.  It was as though if we’d stopped, then the night would be over.  We were enjoying ourselves so much, talking and laughing about little things.  To think, the day before, that the only thing  could tell you about Stuart Twombly, was his name, and he had an obsession with beanies and his phone. 

“Okay okay okay…” I giggled and slurred drunkenly.  “I’ll pick… truth” I said with a big smile.  He was pensive for a moment, then grinned when he came up with an idea.

“Why’d you move here when you were so young?” 

“I wasn’t that young.  I was nineteen” I started, taking a swig of my beer.  “My hometown sucked.  I was bad at making friends so I didn’t have any, my parents… I didn’t have daddy and mommy issues by any means… but I needed a change” He nodded, content with my answer and took a drink.  “Now, truth or dare?” 

“Dare” He replied and I clapped my hands. 

“I dare you to do a handstand!” I squealed, and he eagerly jumped off of the couch, then awkwardly laid his upper back and neck on the floor, propping his legs up, then laying his hands flat on the ground.  He was able to hold himself up for a few seconds, but toppled over in a fit of laughter right afterwards. 

“I almost did it” He slurred, still chuckling as he sat back up on the sofa across from me.  We clinked glasses. 

“Oh so close” I said with a giggle before drinking.

“Alright y/n, truth or dare?” Stuart asked, and I thought while he took a long drink. 

“Okay… I’ll do a dare” I gave in, to his surprise.  I had been dodging that choice the past fifteen minutes we’ve been playing.  “Give me a good one though, not some lame ass prank call, you can do better than-” 

“I dare you to kiss me” He said, in the softest voice I’d heard all night.  My rambling was cut short, and I felt for a moment like I’d completely sobered up.  I was staring straight into his honey eyes.  I licked my lips hesitantly, then slid forward on the couch.  I set my beer on the table, as did he.  The entire environment of the room changed, and I realized my eyes had lingered on his lips for too long.  I sure had a problem with staring at this boy.  I looked up into his eyes for a moment, before closing mine and leaning in.

Our lips touched in a gentle kiss, my hands sliding up to frame around his face, pulling him ever so slightly closer.  Stuart’s arms wrapped around my waist, tugging me further against him on the couch, until our chests were pressed together.  I sucked in deep through my nose before we parted.  His eyes stared into mine, and neither of us moved.  Just our chests as we breathed deeply. 

“Th-that was my first kiss” I told him softly between quiet pants.  His brows knit together, confused. 

“What? H-how?” I blinked a few times, unsure of how to answer.  Maybe because I’d never had a boyfriend? But I wasn’t about to admit that now.  Stuart released my waist, a hand raising to tangle his fingers slightly into a strand of my hair. “Can you promise me something, y/n?” He asked in a murmur.  I nodded as he intricately placed the hair behind my ear.  “Promise me you won’t forget how beautiful you are” He said quietly.  I nodded my head after a moment.

“I promise” I answered, cheeks pink in a blush.  Stuart smiled a small but genuine smile, and pulled away from me.

We sat back on our respective sides of the couch, and continued our game. 

I thought for a moment as I remembered that night.  We were so carefree, and maybe it was the alcohol, but maybe it was just how we were in general.  Maybe we were just two young adults, enjoying our Friday night, getting to know each other.  Or maybe it was what I had thought.  Maybe we were falling in love.

Two weeks later, and Stuart and I were still complaining about our killer hangovers from our long night of drinking and talking.  I’d woken up the next morning on the couch, my head in his lap, cradling an arm that didn’t belong to me.  He was sat upright, his head hanging off the top of the couch and groaning about a headache.  I’d remembered the events from the night before, and somehow managed to get up to retrieve aspirin. 

Stuart and I became close friends.  Very close in fact.  The kind people constantly think are dating, not that I minded.  I wasn’t sure if he did.  I wasn’t even sure if he remembered what had all taken place that night, but I didn’t push the subject.  We became the kind of friends who walk around holding hands, or hug, share food and drink, kiss on the cheek here and there- hell even I would think we were dating.  (i wish).

We were sitting in my apartment, the night after our photo was taken at the cafe, his infamous beanie resting on my head.  In fact, I was wearing it as of this moment.  The both of us were sat on the sofa, watching tv.  He was scrolling through his phone while I laid across his lap, my head on the armrest of the couch. 

“Hey Stew” I said softly, not sure if I really wanted to ask the question I’d been hung up on for the past days.

“Mhm?” He dropped a hand to my arm to show he was paying attention, seeing that his eyes were glued to his phone. 

“Do you remember the night you came over?” 

“Mhm, worst hangover of my life” He snorted, glancing to me for a short moment.  “Why? Wanna get drunk?”

“No, no Stew it’s important” I said as seriously as I could, but my voice was still quiet.  His brows furrowed as he turned off his phone and looked at me. 

“Alright” He said, meeting my eyes.  “What’s going on in that messy head of yours?”

“Do you remember anything besides the hangover?” I asked, finding it difficult to hold his gaze.  “At all?” I asked when he didn’t answer. 

“Hold on I’m trying to think… I drank a lot that night” His eyes were squinted, and my heart managed to sink and beat faster at the same time.  “I… we played truth or dare…” He started slowly and I nodded eagerly. 

“Yeah yeah we did”

“And.. and I did a handstand?” I chuckled quietly and nodded again.  “And… and you told me ab-”

“You asked me to kiss you” Stuart’s brows raised.

“Well that would've been something to remember” Normally I would have laughed. 

“But-but you don’t?” Stuart shook his head.

“No… why was I bad?” He chuckled awkwardly to himself.  I pushed myself up, and crawled off of his lap.  “Why- are you alright?” I nodded, even though I wasn’t.  “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I’d made things awkward for you that night” I just shook my head repeatedly, staring down at my lap, where my hands were wringing together.  “Hey is there.. Is there something else going on?” Stuart asked, turning to face me but I shook my head again.  “y/n/n don’t lie” He put one of his hands on mine.  “y/n” He said more sternly.  I hesitantly turned my head meeting his eyes and I felt my foot tap quickly on the ground.

“Sorry, sorry no I don’t know what- I don’t know what got into me” He frowned, but eventually got up and stretched a little.

“I’m gonna get a drink” He said, walking over to the kitchen.  I watched as he opened the fridge, and surprised me by pulling out a pop can. 

“No beer?” He shook his head.

That was the last time Stuart and I talked to each other.  Three months passed, and he hasn’t bothered to talk to me whatsoever.  I can’t really tell why, I don’t remember having done anything that would’ve driven him away.  The rest of that night I hadn’t mentioned the kiss, and it’s not like I admitted to him that I was in love with him.  At first, it just really pissed me off, but now I just keep more to myself than before, and tried to ignore him at all costs. 

No, that does not mean I’m happy.  In fact, I’m beyond miserable.  I don’t remember the last time I’d spoken to any of them, I’d hardly spoken at work at all.  Just on the phone when a customer or my boss called.  I’m not sure when Neha and I’s friendship ceased, somewhere along the line we just stopped talking.  Sometimes she sits at my small table in the cafe for lunch, but we still don’t converse.  Just sit there silently.

I walked in this morning, not anywhere near as dressed up as I used to get for work.  I was in jeans, old and worn biker boots, and a tee shirt.  My hair was in a ratty and messy bun, I don’t think I brushed my hair at all this morning.  In fact, I don’t even remember walking to the building (I lived just two blocks away) but I can’t tell you remembering the scenery or people I passed.  I groaned, rubbing my eyes as I sat down at my desk.  My elbows propped up onto the desk as I dragged the skin around the edges of my eyes, hoping to rub the sleep out of them.  It wasn’t working.  A small groan left my lips as I turned on my computer and began to sign in. 

“Good morning y/n” I jumped slightly, dropping my computer mouse onto the floor by my foot.  “Oh I’m sorr-” 

“It’s okay Lyle” I mumbled.  “What did you want?” He seemed to swallow thickly, and readjusted the glasses on his nose.  It made me think of the way Stuart used to always crinkle his nose before pushing his glasses up higher on the bridge of his nose.

“Well uh, I’ve actually noticed your lack of interaction with the rest of the team, are you alr-” 

“I’m fine, is here something important?” I snapped a little, but didn’t raise my voice.  I didn’t want the others to notice my ‘coming out of the shell I’d been hiding in’ moment. 

“Actually yes… someone from Communications is here to speak to you about your performance” I nodded my head.

“Well where are they?”

“At the door actually” I turned, and just as I did, Gharam walks over and stands himself next to Lyle, in front of me.  I stared with wide eyes up at him, having heard many stories from Neha and Stuart about Gharam and his… foolish charms.  “You look surprised darling” He spoke in an English accent, but something was off about it.

“I am, I wasn’t informed of any meeting, until here you are now” I straightened up, seeing that he was trying to intimidate me by leaning over, eyes downcast towards me.  I pulled a slight smirk on, just small enough to be noticeable but not questionable.  He only reciprocated it.

“Well love, I have an important question for you” You nodded, prompting him to continue.  “Attention! Low life Google team!” Gharam held his hands out, earning the attention of Neha, Billy, Nick, Yo Yo, and Stuart, who watched me intently.  But I looked back to Gharam.

“What’s this all abou-”

“Your very own lovely y/n here,has been given the opportunity of a promotion!” Besides Graham's clapping, the room was silent.  I continued to stare at the englishman.  “What? No applause for this stunning creature?” I wanted to be flattered by his strange way of flirting, but instead I felt like regurgitating.  Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Stuart walking out of the room, shaking his head.  It would’ve broken my heart, if it wasn’t already shattered

“Why do I get a promotion?” I asked quietly, and Gharam grinned widely down towards me.

“Because you, my dear, would be a lovely head of the Communications department” My eyes widened like a cartoon, and my voice caught in my throat.  How? My work has been average.

“I-I think you’re at the wrong-”

“Oh don’t be so modest, we can discuss the paperwork over dinner” Gharam smirked and winked, and I took a step away from him, huffing angrily.

“But I like working here!” I stated loudly, and angrily.  My hands were in fists by my sides.  “I like my group, I like my job I like my payroll, I don’t want a promotion” The man laughed loudly, holding his hands over his stomach like it was the most comical thing he’d ever heard anyone say.

“Oh don’t be ridiculous darling” He said, reaching a finger to swipe his thumb over my cheek.  I smacked his hand away with a slap that seemed to silence the room even more.  I didn’t notice that this was when Stuart came back into the room, I was too focused on the man in front of me.

“I’m not taking a job just so you can go out with me” I snapped at him, and moved to walk back towards my work space, but he followed me quickly.

“Problem? Gharam?” I spun back on my heel in shock of the voice I hadn’t heard in what felt like years.  Stuart Twombly was standing in front of me, his back towards me and Gharam trying to tower over him.  In seconds I watched as Gharam backed away, shaking his head and standing silently frozen.  “Come on y/n” Before I could say anything, Stuart took my hand pulled me with him out the door of our large office flat.  I walked quietly beside him, my hand still stuck in his as he led me through the hallways.  I looked over at him, but he kept his focus on his walking.  Dead ahead.  He was on a mission it seemed.

“Stuart?” I spoke, my voice practically a mumble as we neared the exit of the building. 

“Where have you been?” He asked as he pushed open the doors, with me still following right next to him.  It was the first time his hand released mine.

“I haven’t been anywhere” I muttered, my eyes narrowing slightly at his apparent anger.  “What, you’re mad at me because I haven’t been around?” He ducked his head down, instantly realizing his mistake.  “Wow.  Wow Stuart” I laughed bitterly, a passive aggressive grin on my face as I looked up.  My palm pressed to my forehead as I calmed down my laughter.  “If you don’t mind, I have work to get to” I said, turning to go back inside. 

“N-no don’t leave” He quickly ran in front of me, hands out and a pleading expression on his face.  “Please don’t just go” 

“And why the hell not?”

“Because I miss you y/n!” He yelled exasperatedly, and my mouth hung open in shock.  “I really fucking miss you” His voice softened, and I blinked, licking my lips before closing my mouth. 

“I missed you too” I said weakly. 

“And I do remember that night, I remember it vividly, every goddamn second of it” I couldn’t bring myself to tear my eyes off of him. 

“Y-you did? Then why did you-”

“Cause I didn’t want to say the wrong thing… guess I did anyways” I frowned slightly, stepping a little closer to him. 

“What did you think that you were going to say that would make me upset?”

“Upset’s not really the word… more like.. More like distant.  I thought you’d be distant and I didn’t want to lose you or anyth-”

“What were you going to say?” I cut off his ramblings, stepping closer again, if I took one more step, then our noses would ‘bump together. 

“I was going to tell you that..” He trailed off for a moment, looking down at his feet.  “That um.. That I…” My eyebrows raised in anticipation.  “y/n I really like you, I don’t know how you did it but you got me to fall for you in a matter of one night and I swear it wasn’t cause we were both drunk off our ass it was because you’re the first person I’ve ever met that’s… that’s real you felt real to me and I- I wanted to tell you that and I almost did but I didn’t want to mess things up-”

“You would’ve messed everything up” I told him. 

“I know” He said quietly.

“Absolutely everything, you would’ve ruined everything” I heard him sniffle, and he still stared down at his feet.  I chuckled quietly, and curled my fingers under his jaw, bringing his face up to look at me, even though he was practically above me.  “But it would’ve been in the best way possible” I told him solemnly.  I watched his eyes light up, and I smiled softly.  Next thing I knew he leaned down, and gently pressed his lips against mine.

“I’m sorry” He mumbled between sweet kisses.  “I shouldn’t have lied around it I should’ve just told you” I opened my eyes as his arms wrapped around my back, tugging me against him in a tight hug.  I smiled, arms winding around his neck and holding myself there against him.

“Try not to ‘forget’ that kiss, okay?” Stuart chuckled against me.

“I’m not sure how I could”

guys i can’t tell you how happy i am to post again :) xoxo ~ joride

[ramajmedia]

Misfits: The 5 Best (And 5 Worst Couples) | ScreenRant

When you're stuck doing community service in a dull neighborhood in London, there's not much to stop you from hooking up with your fellow societal disruptors. Not even getting cool super powers in a freak geo-storm changes that sort of human behavior. Misfits, the popular British series that wondered what would happen if ordinary reprobates suddenly gained superhuman abilities, ran for five seasons and proved a welcome respite to the ordinarily upbeat superhero shows on television.

RELATED: Misfits: The 5 Best Powers (& The 5 Weirdest)

It's premise and at times depressing atmosphere was made accessible by the strength of its young leads, each responsible for moments of great tenderness, black comedy, and gripping drama. As they all dealt with their powers in different ways, they also developed feelings for one another. Here are the 5 best, and 5 worst couples of the series. It's available to stream on Hulu.

10 BEST: SIMON AND ALISHA

While they might seem like complete opposites on the outside (Simon is a lonely introvert, and Alisha is a beautiful social butterfly), what make them different from one another also make them complementary. Alisha helps Simon become more confident in his abilities, and he keeps Alisha grounded and practical.

Simon treats Alisha as more than a pretty face, and she makes Simon realize he is worthy enough to be noticed. Simon begins the series with the power of invisibility, but later changes it to clairvoyance. Alisha began with the ability to make anyone sexually desire her, and traded it to be able to see through another person's eyes. Unfortunately, their relationship is doomed once they experience a tragic time loop.

9 WORST: SIMON AND SALLY

Simon and Sally's "relationship" was unfortunate from start to finish. It began with the two of them meeting at the community center where Sally was the new probation worker. Simon and the gang had no idea she was secretly gathering information as the disappearance of their previous probation worker, who happened to be her fiance.

Related: Netflix Developing The One Adaptation From Misfits Creator

She manipulates Simon from the beginning, appearing as a lonely girl online for him to speak to in a chatroom, as well as using her feigned empathy to his antisocial behaviors in real life to  get close to him. After he discovers what she's been up to one of their dates, he's forced to kill her. She would come back as a ghost later to cause trouble for him and Alisha.

8 BEST: ALISHA AND CURTIS

One of the first pairings to occur on the show, Alisha and Curtis seemed like the perfect match. Alisha was popular because of her good looks and vivacious personality, while Curtis was a previously famous track star with a lot of potential outside of community service.

Unfortunately, due to Alisha's powerful affect, they couldn't be intimate, which strained them in ways they didn't anticipate. Eventually, it was her realizing her feelings for Sam that drove a wedge between them that Curtis could sent, resulting in them calling it quits.

7 WORST: NATHAN AND MARNIE

While Nathan never exhibited any indication he was going to end up with a real winner, some random pregnant girl he meets in the corridors of the community center requires a little mental gymnastics to accept. They're virtual strangers, but before long he's introducing her to the rest of the crew and then later delivering her baby.

Why Nathan would suddenly care about anyone other than himself, going so far as to sell his power (immortality, a Class A power) for a measly two thousand pounds for someone he barely knows, is a struggle to believe. Nathan does a 180 in personality without any character development, and promptly leaves the show with Marnie.

6 BEST: KELLY AND BRUNO

She was a girl. He was a gorilla turned into a boy. Their meeting was by chance, but it turned into one of the most meaningful romantic moments in the series. She could read his thoughts, and knew that the way he felt about her was different than other boys her age.

Related: 10 Most Powerful Characters Of Misfits Ranked

Unfortunately, she didn't find out that the kind, hulking boy she met had formerly been a gorilla before the geo-storm, whose only wish was to be human and find a nice human girl. He's shot and killed by police, and he dies in Kelly's arms, telling her it was worth being human just to meet and be with her.

5 WORST: CURTIS AND NIKKI

We didn't get to know Nikki long enough to decide if she was the best for Curtis or not, because a stray bullet takes her out in a robbery that should never have happened. Before that though, her and Curtis were planning on traveling the world with the money they'd made selling their powers.

Nikki came into Curtis's life when he was still trying to determine how he felt about Alisha, and her very presence seemed to make that decision for him. He ultimately decided to see where things would go with Nikki, and she always seemed like a rebound, without any real personality.

4 BEST: KELLY AND SETH

One of the best couples of the series was Kelly and Seth, probably because they were the most successful and ended up lasting the longest. Even fan favorites Simon and Alisha had temporal anomalies get in the way of their relationship, dooming them to a tragic time loop forever.

Related: Misfit Reboot Finds Its Leads

While Simon and Alisha were doomed to save each other and die for each other perpetually, Seth and Kelly formed an unlikely bond. Seth liked Kelly's unapologetic attitude, and Kelly liked Seth's grounded practicality. Not even his resurrected zombie girlfriend could tear them apart.

3 WORST: RUDY AND JESS

When Rudy appeared on the show, he took the place of fan favorite Nathan, who starred in the first two seasons and then left for greener pastures (catch the actor in The Umbrella Academy). This left a hole for a rowdy, foul-mouthed rogue, and Rudy fit that times two. Literally, because his power meant he had two (and at one point) three versions of himself.

When he finally curbed his lecherous ways to be with Jess, it seemed forced. Jess, a new addition to the cast in Season 3, didn't begin to fully develop as a character until Season 4, and her power to see through solid objects revealed to her many times what a lout Rudy was, making their relationship very awkward.

2 BEST: JESS AND ALEX

Alex joined the cast as a regular in Season 4, and was nothing more than a barman with Curtis at the local pub when Jess first set her eyes on him. Reserved and distant at first, Jess assumed he didn't like her, but he was really under the control of someone else's power despite having none of his own.

When he received a lung transplant from a victim of the storm, he gained the ability to take powers from others by being intimate with them, and in Season 5 heroically saves Jess by breaking into the community center when a possessed Finn is attacking her. It's a shame she would actually end up with Rudy.

1 WORST: CURTIS AND LOLA

Lola mesmerized Curtis from the moment he laid eyes on her - she was striking, with dark hair and pale skin, and often wore vintage inspired clothing that evoked a femme fatale aesthetic. She was in fact a black widow, turned into the character she was auditioning for at her community theater when the storm struck.

She lured Curtis into a relationship, and made him kill her ex, a man who knew how she really treated men. When Curtis resurrected him to learn the truth about her, Curtis was bitten, sealing his fate on the series as a zombie that would need to be eventually killed off.

NEXT: Arrowverse: The 5 Best and 5 Worst Couples

source https://screenrant.com/misfits-best-worst-couples/

[ahhhsami]

Ahhhh! So many FICS!

I put together a list of all the fics I’ve written so far... and oh my... there are quite a lot. Anyways hopefully this can help you out if you like reading my fics. You can find this list as a permanent page on my tumblr.

I’m also always open for prompts/requests. Just know that it takes time for me to get to them, or sometimes I really like the idea and will write it kinda fast. It all depends on the prompt and my mood :P

AO3 Account

Always (Completed): Korra wouldn’t say she’s a good person. She wouldn’t say that she’s made the right decisions, but she’s trying to change. She’s trying to be a better person even despite her past. Will meeting an outgoing, optimistic woman help her move on from her past and towards that better life she seeks? Follows the storyline of Always(Korean Movie) very closely.

Better Than He Can (Completed): Korra’s been in love with her best friend for years, but she’s always stayed and watched from the sidelines. She never wanted to mess up their friendship, but suddenly she can’t take it anymore. She can’t take seeing the woman she loves be molded and formed into something she’s not. Will Korra’s brave and truthful words push Asami away or pull her closer?

Between the Lines (Completed): Passing notes was their thing and it’d be their thing until the end of time. Be it hidden in pens, thrown across rooms, or slipped straight into the other’s hand. It would continue to be theirs as long as they were together.

Chef’s Table (Completed): Asami Sato is a major film producer working for Netflix. She’s been assigned to work on a new documentary about the up-and-coming head chef of Blue. She thought it would be like any other project, but that’s far from what she gets.

Dear Korra (Completed): We all know what Korra did when she was gone for three years after Book 3, but what happened to Asami? This Canon AU will take you through Asami’s journey. It definitely won’t be an easy one, but it’ll make her the person that she is today. The confident, intelligent, empathetic, beautiful women that’s deeply and truly in love with Korra (which wasn’t always evident).

Double Vision (Completed): Widowmaker has a crazy idea for Tracer to travel back in time to meet herself. What she doesn’t expect is the time that Tracer decides to travel back to. Tumblr Prompt: Ooh! Can I prompt something that’s Tracer/Tracer? Like, she travels back in time to fool around with herself, maybe Widowmaker catches them.

Emursive (Ongoing?): Korra is dragged to an Emursive Theatrical Performance(Sleep No More) in New York by her best friend. She’s never been a fan of theater, but this night may change her feelings about it.

Forever (Ongoing): Korra and Asami are finally reunited after a time of turmoil and uncertainty. The roles have flipped though. Will Korra allow Asami to help her recover and cope with her inability to speak? Will their love continue to flourish like it had in the past? Sequel to ALWAYS

Four Times (Completed): Happy International Kissing Day!! Four times Korra and Asami kiss. A oneshot of the progression of their feelings and relationship between middle school to college graduation.

The greatest secrets are always hidden... (Completed): Sometimes all anyone needs is a shoulder to cry on and someone to listen.

Guidance (Completed): Prompt: Would you ever consider doing an adult story where Mercy’s first love was Ana who took her under her wing back in the day when Angela needed guidance, and now Angela has been returning the favor by being the guide that Pharah needs, and now Angela and Fareeha are in a relationship, but now that Ana has returned, Mercy doesn’t know what to do because she never stopped loving Ana. My preference would be that Ana and Fareeha both end up okay with Mercy loving both of them but it would be up to you.

Imagine Your OTP (Ongoing Series): I’ve always loved those “Imagine Your OTP” prompts on tumblr, but never attempted to write any fics to them. Today that has changed. Instead of creating a series and having multiple works, I’ll be posting the one-shots as individual chapters here. The main ships I’ll be writing these one-shots for are Sanvers, Supercorp, and Korrasami. I may write for other ships and will change the tags if so.

Chapter 1: Take Out [Sanvers]

Chapter 2: Silence Can Be Deafening [Sanvers]

Chapter 3: Sugar Daddy? Sugar Mama? [Sanvers]

Chapter 4: Human Punching Bag [Sanvers]

Chapter 5: Falling For You - Part 1 [Korrasami]

Chapter 6: Falling For You - Part 2 [Korrasami]

Chapter 7: Falling For You - Part 3 [Korrasami]

Chapter 8: Late Nights [Supercorp]

Chapter 9: Unmarked [Sanvers/Supercorp]

Let Me Show You (Completed): It’s common for college to be a time to experiment; to learn about one’s identities, especially sexually. But when Korra’s close friend asks for help, she’s unsure of what to do.

Man On! (Completed): Korra is one of the star players for her soccer team, the Fire Ferrets. All goes down hill when she gets injured and is forced to leave the game. But not everything turns out so badly when she meets the athletic trainer, Asami.

Performance Art (Completed): Korra’s an art professor that visits galleries often to find that special piece. Not some generic piece, but one that will truly help expand her student’s young minds. Hopefully tonight is a successful one.

Push And Pull (Completed): Korra’s always had a unique life. She was a child TV star and finally was leaving that behind to attend college. Although she left behind that life, her story would continue to follow a unique path. She would soon by faced with Asami Sato, a stunning, intelligent, friendly professor on campus. No matter how much she wants to push Asami away, Korra always seems to be pulled back. Inspired by the film Bloomington.

Redemption (Completed): Prompt: Widowtracer AU where Overwatch is brought back and builds a combat school with Tracer being a teacher alongside Widowmaker as students spread rumors that Widowmaker is training future Blackwatch members causing Tracer to go on the offensive since Widowmaker is the teacher people barely see.

Rich (Completed): Being rich isn’t all it’s chalked up to be and Asami’s life is the perfect example of this.

Rio 2016 (Ongoing): Prompt: In light of the olympics, could you do a Korrasami fic where Korra and Asami are athletes. Korra for the USA and Asami for Japan.

Roommates (Completed): Asami and Opal have been looking for a new roommate and they’ve finally found one. Opal has been dating Bolin for years and Asami has been single for years. Will the new roommate change everything for Asami who has always been so scared of commitment?

Serendipity (Completed): Was this all just coincidence or was there more to it? Meeting this beautiful woman, not once, not twice, but three times. There had to be more to it. Serendipity: luck that takes the form of finding valuable or pleasant things that are not looked for.

sixty days is all it takes (Completed): There are rules to being friends with benefits, but sometimes rules are meant to be broken.

This is all that I can say. (Completed): Asami will always be there for Korra, no matter what she’s going through or the decisions she makes. Tumblr Prompt: I always felt like Korra dealt with suicidal thoughts, ptsd, depression, and such. could you write something related to that?

Tinderella (Ongoing?): Tinder has always been an app just to pass time and see who Asami could match with. But this changes when she matches with Korra. Will Korra be Asami’s Tinderella or would it have been better for them to have never matched at all?

Tinted (Completed): How to summarize… Here’s a blurb instead: -“As much as I’d love to keep watching you fix your makeup, I have a meeting to get to.” The woman flashed a crooked smile at her. Asami ended up just nodding her head in understanding, still unable to piece together words. She backed even further away from the car as the tinted window rolled up. The woman stepped out of the car and Asami began to hate the situation even more. This woman didn’t just have a gorgeous face, but she also had the body to go along with it. Asami tried her hardest not to stare too much, but in the time that the woman stepped out of the car, she was able to tell that this woman was very much her type.-

Vigilante (Ongoing): Tensions have risen between Nonbenders and Benders in Republic City, so much that all war has broken loose. Through activism and education, Asami Sato has tried to stop the violence, but this makes her a target by both sides. With her life at risk, a vigilante makes herself present to protect Asami and try to end this war. Will the Blue Spirit be able to juggle her growing feelings for Asami and her duty to Republic City and the world?

AO3 Account

[doomonfilm]

Review : Dolemite Is My Name (2019)

Netflix is doing any and everything that they can in order to legitimize themselves as a viable source for original entertainment, and 2019 has been the year where they’ve made some of the biggest moves to date.  Rolling into the summer, a slate of announcements were made about projects tied to major motion picture stars and directors, and one of the first to make noise involved the possible career resurrection of Eddie Murphy.  This project turned out to be the wildly popular biopic Dolemite Is My Name. 

Rudy Ray Moore (Eddie Murphy) is a down and out performer trying to make an impression in 1970s Los Angeles, but he is finding it hard to be taken seriously in an industry that seems dead-set on leaving him behind.  After local bum Ricco (Ron Cephas Jones) invades his record store looking for a handout, Moore is struck with inspiration by Ricco’s soliloquies.  The inspiration leads to Moore transforming his nightclub act into his comedic persona, the soon to be world famous Dolemite, a raw pimp with a penchant for storytelling and a natural gift of gab.  The fame of his improved nightclub act creates a demand for recorded material, which raises his name and value to new heights.  After seeing an uninspired film, Dolemite realizes he can spread the shine of his star further and wider with via the medium of film.  With the help of screenwriter Jerry Jones (Keegan-Michael Key), director/actor D’Urville Martin (Wesley Snipes), and young cinematographer Nicholas Josef von Sternberg (Kodi Smit-McPhee), Dolemite and crew set out to make his vision a reality.  After a rough, bare-bones production finalized by Martin’s abandonment of the project, Moore sets out with Dolemite in hand, with hopes of fame and success to follow.

Setting up Rudy Ray Moore as a phoenix risen from the ashes of failure is a unique presentation for the iconic character that the world has come to know as Dolemite.  Like a modern day street philosopher, he put pieces of real life together and laid it out in a way that people could not help but respond to... in turn, he became a champion for those who had yet to be championed.  His grassroots, independent spirit and nature became the blueprint for many DIY artists, including an entire generation of hip-hop artists that became icons in their own right.  Moore had an uncanny knack for pure entertainment due to his familiarity with vaudeville and the chitlin’ circuit, so it came to no surprise that he was able to transplant his success into various mediums, specifically live performance, records and film.   

The film does a good job of showing how Rudy Ray Moore drew inspiration from his tough times, and the way he was observant enough to notice how people reacted to the rawness of the street without letting the street defeat him.  The dedicated way he catered towards those who influenced him without selling out to the mainstream (read : white) audiences is also portrayed successfully via the paralleled success of his contemporaries that do this very thing, to varying degrees.  The moral issues that arose from his comedy being promoted as pornography create unique tension among those who supported Moore, due to their connections to the ‘smut’ he produced and the controversy it created.

Craig Brewer uses a pretty straightforward approach to film-making due to the fact that the personalities on screen are so large and dynamic.  The costuming matches the range of personality, with both the casual and the standout outfits utilizing great color combinations.  The music is extremely strong as well, be it the soundtrack, the original songs created for the film, or the sparse uses of score.  Plenty of humor is found at a deeper examination of Rudy Ray Moore’s creative process, especially during the filming sequences, where his acting and kung-fu shortcomings took on a charm of their own.

Eddie Murphy is given a perfect platform to display his dynamic communicative range, both on an individual and a performer level, with his humor and emotional range on full display... though nowhere near as raw around the edges as Rudy Ray Moore, his performance still works.  Wesley Snipes gets to work a thin line between a seasoned actor with an ego and a struggling actor realizing his opportunities are running thin.  Keegan-Michael Key continues to find roles that keep him out of standard trope territory, allowing him to keep an air of dignity to his performances.  Da’Vine Joy Randolph plays sage and ingenue to Murphy’s portrayal of Moore, dispensing advice and support to help push things forward.  Mike Epps, Craig Robinson and Tituss Burgess help keep things light and funny with their quick wit and observational humor.  Kodi Smith-McPhee’s fish out of water placement works well in the blue world of Dolemite.  The massive cast is rounded out with appearances by Aleksandar Filimonovic, Tip Harris, Ron Cephas Jones, Luenell, Gerald Downey and Bob Odenkirk, plus cameos by Snoop Dogg, Chris Rock, Tommie Earl Jenkins and more.

My Name Is Dolemite is definitely a major step in the right direction for Netflix in regards to solidifying their goal as a legitimate avenue for filmmakers.  The film stands up on its own merit, and with the cast attached, this film easily could have made a decently successful run, but having the instant access to it that Netflix provides makes the enjoyment that much better.

[authorkatwatson-blog]

Cupcakes at Midnight - Chapter 2

I look at myself in the mirror, wondering where all the years have gone. It feels like last week I was a blushing bride, and yesterday I was picking up the pieces from a failed marriage. But it’s been over a decade.

My phone is in the kitchen, I left it there purposely so that I wouldn’t obsess over looking at it every five seconds.

Instead, I go through my regular nighttime routine, taking my time with each step. The normalcy of it comforts me. I can pretend that I’m not freaking out on the inside. I scoop the cat litter and refill his water as he meows, begging like he’s never been fed before.

I walk back and look at the cupcakes. The cinnamon crunch is gone, of course, but the other three still intrigue me. I’ve never even heard of some of the flavor combinations Ava’s made for me. But I want to try them.

The thought of putting them in my mouth makes me blush, which is ridiculous because surely I’m a grownup who can think dirty things without a childish reaction. I close my eyes and slide my tongue across the silky frosting. The tang of raspberry rises up and makes my mouth water even more. I’m about to dive in to the cake part of the cupcake when I notice my phone lighting up and buzzing.

Ivy must be late night texting me, maybe she’s fighting with Matt again. I swear, I don’t know if those two will make it to their actual wedding.

But there is a tinge of hope that it’s not Ivy.

After debating forcing myself to wait longer to check, I pick the phone up and click the button on the side so I can preview the message.

It’s from her.

What if she texted back to ask me to stop texting?

That would be dumb, since she’s the one that gave me her number, right?

What if she says it was all a mistake and that note was meant for Ivy? That would make sense; Ivy is gorgeous and statuesque, and … not me.

But she didn’t give Ivy the box of cupcakes, did she?

I drive myself crazy with what-ifs, so I just open the text.

I’m so happy to hear from you. What are you up to tonight? Hope it’s not too late to text

I start to tap out a reply, then delete it. Maybe I should wait until tomorrow to reply? Then I realize her message was blue, meaning she’d see the three dots if she happened to be looking at her phone.

And either way, even if it was only going to be a friendship, did I really want to wait and play games? Wasn’t I done with all of that?

Another exciting Friday night, wrapped up in a blanket on the couch watching Netflix, very much enjoying these cupcakes. Thank you again. And no, not too late to text - I use the quiet functions once I go to sleep, so you’re good to text me anytime

I smile, hoping I’m coming across as genuinely as I feel.  When I see the three dots pop up on her side of the screen, my smile grows.

What’s on your current to-binge list? Glad you’re enjoying the cupcakes. Thank you for inspiring them

Thank god she’s a text-in-complete-words person.

Before I walk back to the couch, I pour myself another cup of tea and eye the last two cupcakes. How many cupcakes was too many in one night? I shrug and grab the orange-swirled one.

Well, right now I’m in the middle of Derry Girls. Still have to catch up on Handmaid’s on Hulu, but that won’t be until after I get through a few (probably boring) documentaries.

Instead of clicking the phone off, I set it on the arm of the couch, face up, so I can see if she replies again. Maybe my TV choices would make her realize how utterly snooze-y my life is.

OMG, which epi of HT are you on? Haven’t seen DG, good?

We exchange texts for a few hours, discussing different movies and tv series, finding common likes and dislikes. By the time I yawn for the first time, finally acknowledging how tired I am, I realize it’s past 3 am.

Holy shit, I have to get to bed soon. Will you be around tomorrow?

Jane from five years ago would have thought it was being very forward of me to ask, but right-now Jane is enjoying the conversation and ready for more from life.

I will. Any chance we could continue this conversation in person?

I tap out my reply before I even have time to think it through or be too self-conscious.

Absolutely

Awesome. Let’s play it by ear, but I’ll see you tomorrow, J

The temptation to leave it there gets over-ruled by my giddy, smooshy feelings.

Goodnight. Sweet dreams

That’s the last reply in the series, and I set my phone on the nightstand, long ago having moved to bed to charge my phone. I roll to my side and think about what tomorrow will bring. Cat curls up at my feet and makes his displeasure that we’re all still awake very well known. My eyes can barely stay open, but my brain is a freight train of excitement.

The next morning, I debate what “too early” to text would be. I don’t want to seem overly eager, but I don’t want to intentionally withhold a message just to play some weird unwritten rule game.

I get my laundry done, sweep the kitchen, and putter as much as I can, until finally around mid-day, my phone chirps. Cat looks up at me, ever-annoyed that his nap has been interrupted.

Beer, pizza, and extraordinarily dark dystopian future tv watching?

I shake my head and laugh.

What could make for a better Saturday night?

I can think of a few things. For now, it sounds pretty good, right? Wanna meet at your place? Is that too weird / too soon?

Was that a date? Meeting at my place to watch tv?

Sure, not too soon at all. What time?

We make plans for a few hours later, and I’m still unsure if it’s a date, but I decide it doesn’t matter. I want more fun in my life, so even if we just hang out and get to know each other better, wasn’t that the point?

When the doorbell rings, I practically jump out of the chair. I open the door, and Ava looks like she’s just come from some punk band concert that would be way too cool for me to even consider. I laugh to myself.

“Hey, come in.”

Her hands are full, but she makes her way past me, finding the kitchen immediately.

“I wasn’t sure what pizza toppings you like? I don’t know how we didn’t discuss that. But I went with half cheese, half pepperoni, just to be safe. Sound okay?”

She smiles and a part of me wants to melt at how genuine it is.

“Yeah, sounds great. I’ll just grab plates. Do you need a fork and knife?”

The look on her face is absolutely fucking priceless.

“A fork and knife? For what?”

“Oh man, Ivy is so funny, she had me convinced for a while that everyone eats pizza with a fork and knife. Thank god it’s just her. I was starting to question everything about my twenties.”

“No way. Pizza is a single hand, no utensil kind of food. That’s part of what makes it so perfect. I wasn’t sure what kind of beer you drink, so I just got something generic.”

We open our cans and take them, the pizza, and a roll of paper towels to the coffee table. Between bites, we talk about the season of the show and how we each think it’s going; we make predictions on where it might end up. Then finally, when the pizza is gone and we’re left with just awkward silence, we put the show on.

I can see Ava looking around my apartment as we watch, maybe trying to learn things about my life? Her eyes are on a particular frame over my fireplace.

“That’s my niece, Hailey,” I say, smiling.

We’re sitting across the couch from each other; not too far, but not too close. Cat was always between us, annoyingly adorable as ever.

“Do you have any siblings?”

She smiles. “Nope. Only child.”

“Does that get lonely? I bet it was glorious growing up. No one to fight with for the TV remote, or what kind of pizza to have.”

Ava shrugs and smiles, then turns her attention back to the TV. Her body had been angled toward mine, but she shifts, and then scoots closer. Horrible things happen on the show in front of us, but right in the room? She laces her fingers through mine and my whole body warms.

Is this what it’s supposed to feel like?

A few hours, laughs, and cupcakes later, the sun has set and we’re several episodes into another series. I’m surprised when Ava gets up, yawning. Her arms go over her head as she stretches, and I swear I almost die when I see a sliver of her skin between her shirt and pants.

“I open the bakery in a few hours. I’m sorry, I’m terrible company right now. I probably haven’t said ten words in the last hour.”

“No need to apologize,” I say, standing and touching her arm. “You’ve been great company. I feel bad I’ve been keeping you. You were up so late last night, too. All my fault.” I laugh, trying to downplay my disappointment that the night is ending.

“Mutual blame,” she says, smiling and tugging my arm. It could be a friendly gesture, the hug, but I can’t help but hope it’s the beginning of something more than a friendship.