#if i think like this it dulls the pain

[weaponizedducks]

all the episodes from merlin finding out morgana's evil to everyone else finding out are the funniest things ever because morgana hates everyone. morgana hates merlin the most. merlin hates morgana right back. gwen and arthur are completely oblivious and love everyone. merlin and morgana have to keep up the pretence of actually liking eachother. merlin bc he's got like no proof and morgana bc he's her dumbass brother's boyfriend so she can't do anything. imagine them trying to kill eachother and arthur walks in and they're have to pretend they love eachother like in a sitcom. it's just so funny especially in the ep when they're going to save elyon because it's just the four of them and every interaction they have is loaded with absolute hate

[homehauntsyou]

sam with chronic pain after the cage and chronic fatigue after the trials <3

[crumbleclub]

cannot get over the idea of michael having to explain anything traumatic that happened to him well after the fact and it's just. so clear he hasn't dealt with it at all. eyes downcast, voice shaking. he doesn't realize he's crying until somebody tells him.

it's like it's happening all over again.

[minuseyes]

.

[yuseirra]

It's been years since I check the tags for fandoms I'm in because I get a bit nervous...I get influenced very easily, and the way how other people feel about things affect me in a massive way, whether it be both positive or negative, so I keep to myself and I tend to read and think about things alone. I got invites to discussion, but I couldn't talk so much, I'm really sorry about that. I really appreciate it!/// I was happy... It's just that I function a bit differently regarding what I enjoy. As much as I love putting my ideas out there, I just enjoy introspecting about things by myself rather than having debates.

I'm really grateful for all the kindness I've been receiving, I love all the sweet tags too. It keeps me fueled!

So today I braced myself a lil and checked out the hikaai tag here right!

AM I CARRYING THAT TAG???? I shouldn't say "carry", maybe...that's being too full of myself, sorry. but.. Wow.. I think I literally took over it... OH MY GOSH...

I really wish I could be a better artist!! Or could lay out some things that are worth reading... I really am trying my best though!! I have the love. I've been doing this to every single thing I get passionate about, I'm sure! There is a period where I get new ideas every single day. That's something you can't obtain even if you want to. It's been really fun lately as well as it having been tense. Really tense. It's scary because I hate to be unsure and wrong... But I still talk a lot.. And that's pretty new of me to do so. I usually just stick to drawing..maybe it's because it's that intriguing. This series is pain but I guess that's what's stimulates me to try and get a grasp and figure just what exactly things are going for.

With episode Aigis coming out today, (yay!) I'd love to hop back to drawing more persona 3 art(that's a great game) and feel an immersion towards it, draw more fanarts of that lovely fanfic I found once again(the writer deserves so much from me;;) but I also really wish...that I'd come to love this ship till the end. I genuinely see the potential it can have. I mean what I draw, I don't spend time and effort on things I don't feel about. Feelings are my everything~ To those of you who enjoy it, I'm thankful to have you with me. It's been helping me a lot!! I feel you'd all like p3 too? That game deals with loss and I personally think shuyuka does have this similar vibe w this ship to a degree, you wish someone back no matter the cost. There is that desperation and longing and I always fall for ships where someone cares so much for another.

[kogo-dogo]

My fiance and I are trying to start an exercise routine to get into better shape now that (after eleven years) I finally have answers to What Makes Everything Hurt and How To Make It Not Do That, and it got me thinking about what could have been if I had just had any doctor listen to me when I was in my twenties.

I have never been stick thin--even at my healthiest, I was built like an ox--but I used to bike six miles a day, five days a week. I went to a pilates class M/T/F. I swam laps twice a week if I could manage to fit in the time. I worked a job that was very physically demanding. But I wasn't stick thin, so when I suddenly started having such severe pain I couldn't do anything, it was always blamed on my weight. ALWAYS blamed on my weight. I had a doctor trick me into taking phentermine when I complained about my fatigue, and I only found out what it really was when I came back and he lamented that I hadn't lost weight.

I was literally in so much pain that I had my brother bring a futon mattress down to the living room because I didn't have the wherewithal to make it up the stairs to my room to go to bed. That sudden of a change after being extremely physically active. And they still blamed my fucking weight.

It wasn't until I was in my thirties and started having heart issues that anyone told me anything aside from "lose some weight" and "take an anxiety pill." I found one doctor who didn't immediately blame everything on my weight, and they slapped me with a Zio monitor after the fifteenth time I ended up in the ER for almost blacking out while changing clothes or what-the-fuck-ever, and that led to blood tests and specialists and wow, did you know that I actually have a laundry list of health problems?

Like my thyroid doesn't work right? I have PCOS and a condition that fucks up my hormones and makes me more at-risk for uterine cancer? Did you know that I have an irregular heartbeat because my thyroid was ignored for so long? And that I inherited my dad's fucking psoriatic arthritis that I have been telling doctors about for years but they said I was too young to have it and I just needed to lose weight?

And I got really emotional in the shower earlier because all I could think of is all the years of pain that would have been missed and how much more capable I'd be and how much permanent damage could have been avoided if the very first doctor I went to didn't blame everything on my weight and ignore every fucking thing I said. Because now I can finally wear my favorite shoes again because my ankles aren't swollen so big that I can't zip my boots up (the arthritis did that!) and I am trying to get back into shape (carefully, because the heart thing!) and I'm just very, very mad thinking about all the things I haven't done just because I hurt so bad, for legitimate I Am Fucking Sick reasons, and everyone just said, "You're fat. That's why."

If anyone ever tries to tell you that all your problems are because of your weight, you should fucking kick them in the face.

[fictionadventurer]

Ages ago, I talked about a portal fantasy idea I had, titled Lily Between Worlds. The premise was that a girl fell into a portal fantasy world, but didn't fall into any adventures. She just had to settle into ordinary life there and wait for a portal to open up to take her home. Except no portal ever showed up, and it's not likely one ever will. She's getting older, and the family she's staying with can't support her forever. So she has to consider settling down--namely, marriage. Which is a huge deal because starting an adult life here means she's giving up on any chance of going home. Plus trying to find someone to marry when you're literally from different worlds is difficult.

It never moved much beyond that initial premise, because I couldn't develop the world or the characters. But it's been coming to mind again, and I have some ideas for worldbuilding that would offer some more detailed plot possibilities, and I want to talk about it before I lose it completely.

The first breakthrough came with the idea that I could adapt an idea from my Lost Library universe as the basis of the worldbuilding. Centuries ago, some calamity caused large hunks of land to break off and float in the sky. This broke up societies and left the people on these landmasses isolated from each other for a long time, and they're only recently coming back into contact with each other. It's useful for Lily's story, because we can say the calamity that fractured their world also opened up fissures to other worlds, and some people here are aware that people sometimes fall through from our Earth.

The other key idea is that this world is dangerous. The calamity that broke the world also caused a population explosion of various chimera-ish beasts, many of which attack humans. Society is built around the fact that we need to be able to protect people from these beasts. Women and children need to be protected, because the monsters go after the weak. Men are expendable and need to defend women and children--but women also need battle skills because it's dumb not to know how to defend yourself. There is also a lot of competition over resources--I'm not sure what, but maybe one of them is the same energy that caused the fracturing and can be used to power technologies. Things have settled down in recent centuries and they've come to a level of civilization (I'm thinking Regency-ish) where you can have classes and trades not totally devoted to survival--but those survival skills are still highly valuable.

Lily is not adventurous. She's a very quiet artistic type who heard about all the dangers of this world and decided she was never going to step outside alone. She's spent the last few years in the household of a scholar who's fascinated with Earth. He's got a few kids several years younger than her, and she settled in among the children, focusing on learning the language and the basics of this world. But now she's come of age and has to enter the adult world. Even though she's been in this world for years, we still get the portal fantasy sense of discovery because she's learning all the details of the culture surrounding courtship and adult responsibilities. This is a domestic fantasy, focused on the interpersonal relationships and the culture of this specific place. No world-changing quests, just characters interacting. At most, a few monster attacks to liven things up.

The story would focus on Lily's attempt to find a husband. She works with a young matchmaker-in-training (who thinks she's from some distant floating island rather than another world) to find good candidates. It's tough because Lily has no family ties here and outsiders are suspect. She's got a lot of the feminine skills this society values, but has zero combat ability--a major handicap when a good wife has to be able to protect the children from monsters. This world values beauty, social status, and strength. Lily's got the first and needs a husband who can provide the other two (and is willing to overlook her lack).

We can use the suitors to explore different facets of this world and Lily's personality. A good partner needs to be similar enough that they can connect, but different enough to draw Lily out of her comfort zone; he needs to draw out her good qualities without reinforcing her flaws. She could interact with a lot of different men, but four types are coming to the forefront as potential husband material.

The scholar: A young man who works with the scholar who houses Lily. Fascinated by Earth, knows Lily's true history. He and Lily casually get along, but don't quite gel. (He treats her a bit like a science experiment, for one thing). He doesn't have much strength to protect Lily, but he's got a decent status (enough that his family would want him to marry better than Lily). He would be the safe choice, allowing Lily to more-or-less remain the same woman she is now.

The warrior: An ideal catch by this world's standards. Very high status, excellent combat ability. Already has several heroic achievements. Socially awkward enough to need the help of a matchmaker to attract a wife. He and Lily share almost no interests, but her dynamic with him would force her to confront her own prejudices about this world--just because he's a fighter, it doesn't mean he's brainless or has no feelings. Could really draw Lily outside her comfort zone, but maybe too much so.

The explorer: A man who has spent the last several years exploring far-flung floating isles and has only recently returned home--to a lot of rumors and distrust. He's got strength, but almost no status; he's scandalous to this neighborhood. Lily likes his travel stories, and he believes her tale of being from another world--he's seen portals before. They get along well enough, but he's as adventurous as Lily is cautious. He says he wants to settle down, but he's not the type to be happy with an ordinary life. A life with him would be either a life here under the cloud of scandal, or a life of dangerous travel. But he would draw out Lily's adventurous side and introduce her (and us) to more details of this world.

The artist: A man who's working on some project for a high-status person in the neighborhood. He and Lily connect most on a personal level, sharing a love of art. He's got a middling sort of status, and is a weakling. Perhaps he's disabled from some monster attack; it would explain why he'd been allowed to take up a sedentary (and frivolous) trade (though if that's the case and she *doesn't* choose him, it could look like we're reinforcing this society's idea that he doesn't deserve to marry). He would be sort of like the male version of Lily; they would connect very easily, but he wouldn't push her to grow.

At the moment, the explorer is most compelling as endgame, though I can see potential in the warrior and artist as well. The interactions with all four can shape her character. There'd also be subplots of other monster attacks and political/social conflicts happening in the background of this courtship.

I'd probably have to end the story with Lily and her chosen guy teaming up to defeat some kind of dangerous beast--showing that Lily has developed the courage to face this world's dangers and has found a partner capable of facing them with her.

If anyone's read all that--decent ideas, or too many holes? Interesting or the dullest thing you've ever heard? I'm treating this as a worldbuilding game for the moment, so you can play along if you like.

[berryblu-soda]

Anyways update i just didnt bother to post earlier:

fr God is good and the whole car crash my parents got into last week was so incredibly mild in terms of injuries!!!! worst was a bruised knee im pretty sure

ALSO-

*taps mic* HUG YOUR FREAKING LOVED ONES OR SO HELP ME!!!!!!!

[intruderzim]

diet culture is such utter horseshit. why on earth should pasta not be consumed and enjoyed. (aside from allergens and true intolerances) why deprive yourself of one of the most human ways to connect with the world around you: enjoying food. and emphasis on ENJOYING, not just eating sawdust protein bars to keep your stupid flesh body alive so you can put more sawdust in it. humans have cultivated and created and experimented with all kinds of foods and ingredients over centuries and you’re gonna sit there and tell me to avoid pasta cuz it has Carbs in it?? do you fucking know anything? about anything? that carbs are your bodies’ preferred source of energy?? that there’s no such thing as a Bad macronutrient?? that the demonization of carbohydrates is fucking ridiculous, and how insane it is that these people tell you to avoid rice and anything with dough and bread and like 90% of every cultures food on earth?? makes you think huh! fuck you diet culture fuck you diet industries fuck you fuck you fuck you. this food was not made to hurt me, it wasn’t made to hurt anyone. this is meant to be shared and enjoyed and loved. i don’t think anyone meant any harm for inventing bread and it doesn’t make you a criminal to enjoy a slice.

[orphyd]

Ow…

[perilegs]

ok i think lamento should be awarded with the prize of worst lube in fiction

[spacetimeaccordionfolder]

Trying to describe pain is weird. "Is it sharp or dull" its both "no I mean which is it" I told you it's both "is it muscle or nerve or joint?" I don't know you're the doctor here. Could you tell me what those mean? "wow I've never had someone describe pain like that before!" you've never heard someone describe pain as stabby? Really? "Is the pain on the top of the wrist of the back?" It's in there I can tell you that much. "what number is it on a scale from 1-10?" that depends on the time, activity, and how much I am willing to lie to myself. "Can you give me an average?" uhh between a 3 and a 7? so a 5? "well what are you feeling now?" oh like a 2. but that's because i held a hot coffee cup before i came here and I am moving carefully. "Is it sharp or dull" It's a ache with a sharpness to it do you need me to draw a graph. I can color something for you. It's dull and sharp and twingy and oscillates I don't know how to explain it any better. "Huh well I can tell that there's some inflammation, but lab results are normal still. Let's stick to over the counter pain meds for now, considering your age. Make sure you let us know if you get pregnant or of the pain gets worse. See you in six months!" Oh okay. Same as last time I suppose. Alright. See you then.

[morgan-the-lonely-brick]

It's in my knees a bit.. ..

[mars-ipan]

morphine :)

[youareyoubutwhoareyou]

Just discovered thru my own research that due to the lack of knowledge/concern multiple drs had when I went to them for help, I am gonna be in even more pain for the rest of my life w possibly worse consequences! Fuck

[heatwa-ves]

Do you ever think about how sidon was never meant to be king, it was mipha, the oldest child, who would inherit the throne, and now, over a hundred years after her death, when sidon is inheriting the throne, it feels wrong, it was never meant to be his, and idk something about the ghost of a leader that never was who's always by his side in every decision he makes, a ghost who's glorified by his nation for what she did, not who she was, and even a century later the wound still feels as fresh as it was the day she died