#if i haven't it's from the depression

[99orphans]

skinny shaming is still body shaming!!

i'm tired of people thinking it's okay to make fun of and make comments towards people just because they are closer to societal beauty standards. Everyone forgets that, as with any body type:

were born with this body type

it's not actually about how much we eat

no, just a bit more exercise isn't going to do it

commenting about our body shape isn't edifying, it's demeaning

calling anyone names doesn't make them feel good

the people who weren't born with this body type, most likely have another issue, and should be cared for, supported, and not further made to feel awful about themselves

i'm not trying to put myself on the same level as heavyset people that experience bodyshaming, i'm saying that it is just as okay to make fun of someone who is overweight, as it is someone who is underweight which is to say

it's not.

us thinfolk have grown a tolerance to it and we usually like to embrace it, because if we don't, we realize that everyone is just having fun at our expense. My entire psyche is based around this value of

"if i don't join in on making fun of me, i'm going to get more hurt."

i personally don't really care about getting made fun of anymore, because i was made to turn it into being a resident sad funny man, but you should all know that i was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder and it largely stems from this issue.

People are people. Don't be a dick.

[territorial-utopia]

Huzzah! It's birthday time! I'm slowly accumulating more and more things I like (latest additions this vest I made and a travel typewriter! Still need to fix the latter one though)

Sure has been a year.

[marlynnofmany]

Note for someone to turn into a story: one way to give the middle generation/s on a generation ship a purpose in life, aside from "raise the children whose children will eventually land on the colony world," could be as creators of art and story. Music too.

Just imagine: you have your whole life ahead of you with all the training and materials of this vast spaceship at your disposal, and all of society plans to revere the creative masterpieces you and your peers come up with.

No pressure.

But yes possibility.

[mishoru]

Don't you think I look pretty curled up on this bathroom floor?

[dorianbrightmusic]

Having depression is inherently depressing.

That is – when every tiny task is utterly exhausting, it's pretty frustrating. When you once weren't exhausted by these tasks – when you know you used to be someone else – that's downright devastating. When you're wondering whether you're going to get that energy back and not knowing, that's also exhausting.

When you are feeling inherently more stupid because depression has cognitively ruined you, that's embarrassing and confusing and so upsetting. When you are unsure whether you will ever get your old cognition back, that's terrifying. When you do not, in fact, ever return to pre-depression baseline, that's just exhausting.

When you are numb, trying to go through the motions of happiness; sadness; fear; frustration; and phatic interest is so, so tiring. When you cannot effectively perform these emotion states, it is embarrassing and isolating.

When you are too tired and too numb to be social, you are alone.

'What do you have to be depressed about?' Well, this disease is inherently giving me something to be depressed about. And it's very easy to want to cling to that, because at least it's an answer.

And frankly, I think folks who haven't gone through depression may not understand that oftentimes, recovery from a bad episode is kinda piecemeal. My cognition, my disposition, and my capacity for optimism are all substantially altered from where they were pre–depression. I cannot take the person I used to be for granted, and I cannot take the beliefs I used to hold as gospel. Even when I'm not depressed, depression has altered most parts of my life and thoroughly warped my sense of self. I cannot safely believe in baseline happiness at this point.

I'm not saying this to complain, but to make a point. Depression alters your life in ways that, even outside of a depressive episode, give you things to be depressed about. It can completely ruin your sense of who you are, what your world is, and what your future holds. It makes it that much more tempting to believe in the depression narrative of loneliness and helplessness, and it makes those narratives subjectively very real. All of this makes the depression (should it return) and its consequences (however monumentally they've carved into your life) so much harder to deal with.

[hxhhasmysoul]

i saw you mentioned that killua has an addictive personality. would u write more on that topic? i agree with you but i dont know how to articulate it for myself hah

I could point to the obvious thing, the chocrobos and sweets in general. Sugar is addictive in real life but like which all such substances some are more vulnerable to them than others. And Killua seems to have developed a chocolate habit.

But I think his tendency towards gambling is far more telling.

Killua loves rivalry, he loves competitions and he will try to gamify stuff he does with Gon. But at least in their competitions with each other Gon can work as a safety valve because he's also obsessive and self destructive and Killua's care for Gon would curb his risk addiction. That and the fact that with Gon they get into really life threatening situations and the self-preservation Killua's family forced into him, kicks in too.

But when the stakes are not life threatening, when it's money... Killua can't handle money. He loses all of their Heaven's Arena winnings on internet auctions. Then Bisky has to drag him away from the slot machines in Greed Island.

When there's no threat to his or Gon's safety, Killua has absolutely no breaks and because Gon leans on him for the planning and for knowledge about the world, considering Gon's much more sheltered childhood, Killua's on his own to control himself and he absolutely can't.

Maybe needing to provide for Alluka will also work as a decent safety valve for the gambling. Maybe he will be more careful with the money he needs for her.

But I don't think he sees that he has this problem. He's always been rich and capable to make quick and easy money. He's also capable of roughing it for a while, and Gon was too. But I doubt he'd want to put Alluka in that situation. Maybe being with her will make him realise he needs to work on this.

[itsclydebitches]

"[Fitzjames'] public demeanor, which was always an easy mix of self-effacing humor and firm command, remained the same, but in private with only Crozier in attendance, Fitzjames spoke less, smiled less frequently, and too often looked distracted and miserable. For a melancholy man like Crozier, the signs were obvious. At times it was like staring into a looking glass, except for the fact that the melancholy countenance staring back was a proper lisping English gentleman rather than an Irish nobody."

The Terror, Dan Simmons

[residentialsinyomakai]

YO-TOBER DAY 10....A DAY LATE: PISTACHIONYAN

....Plus a little message!

(The Rongo Swirll was an idea from a friend aidjoekf)

But anyways, just gonna say that as much as I wanna, I'm not gonna have time to do it every day as I'm sure you've noticed (* ´ ▽ ` *)ﾉ thank you for your understanding!!

Under cut there'll be the usual alt as well as a small doodle dump!! ^u^

Alt + sketches for my favorite day of yo-tober so far 💔 I love the Tough Tribe!!!

Heres this little shading practice I'm kinda proud of! I had fun drawing the eye :)

A LOT of squid stuff.....and I still have more. I'll post them on SpaceHey tho!! (@squ1dcurry btw -u-) one of those is a goofy different outfit inspired by the puni puni event fit + his original!

And timidevil!!! He's a cutie pie ^u^

anyways, I'll be off for now!

[mint-ty]

man this distance is some bs >:( I need to sit you down in front of me, hand you a cup of tea/cola/wine and ask you how you're doing and what you've been up to. Internet is great but it's not the same 😩

[gamebunny-advance]

Oh.

If you ever wanted to know what Yonny looks like when he's falling asleep/sleeping, the comic's got you covered.

(Source)

[scarlet-wish-draws]

Was it worth the wait?

[pastelaspirations]

Does ink has disorder of any kind?

I assume this is related to Ink in Perseverance lol. Okay, s o. I tend to write Ink with some tendencies that I have because it's easier to write more realistic depictions of things if I draw from my own life as inspiration lmao. As such, the only thing I am confident saying he has is social anxiety, as that is the only thing that I'm officially diagnosed with.

That said, I've seen people comment that he displays depressive tendencies, as well as having vivid flashbacks and tends to dissociate as what is sometimes typical of PTSD. Since I mostly write these things based off of personal experience, I am hesitant to say he has these things lol, especially since "mental health testing" doesn't exist in my world as much.

Does that mean he doesn't have them?? E e e e h h. Let's just say the only thing I am 100% sure in saying he has is social anxiety✧˖°.

[rowenabean]

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[breezypunk]

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[mettywiththenotes]

Pictured: Ruby and Jaune being two kinds of Not Okay

[sol-consort]

as much as I loathed the romance route of Liam in Andromeda, I can't help but think he has MASSIVE ship potential with Jaal and Drack