#if i got the lyrics wrong then i blame spotify

[onstrangerthighs]

Well, your mama kept you- Billy's mother stays with him in the sense that he idolizes her, so she's keeping him in the past because she made him happy. He keeps her with him like a photograph. Even though holding onto her also hurts him, since it reminds him of what he once had, it's what keeps him going nowadays.

but your daddy left you- Since Neil doesn't act like a real father, he left Billy, too. He betrays Billy over and over again every time he abuses him.

And I should've done the same- In reference to the "keep" line, Billy's partner wishes they could've kept him with them. Kept him safe. Kept him from leaving this world.

But I came to love you- To really love Billy is to understand that you cannot keep him in one place for very long, no matter how much you wish he'd stay. He's not used to safety. Loving him is only hard when you realize there's a chance you could lose him forever.

And I want to flee- Having someone in his life who loves him and treats him the way he deserves to be treated baffles him. It feels too good to be true. He wants to run because he's afraid that if he'll stay then it'll hurt all the more when it comes to an end. Nothing good lasts forever.

[indigo-anonymous]

I’d love to hear which other songs brain rot you for the fic!!

Yippee!! Time for the Splinter Fractures brainrot song list (which is by no means definitive and can be expanded at any time)! Buckle up, because it's gonna be a long post (I'm halfway finishing this in drafts and it's SO LONG already). I want to go over my favourite lyrics for each of them :D

I'll go over the two that were brought up previously first, to get those out of the way. All links lead to YouTube videos of the songs, since I know not everyone has Spotify.

Just A Man from Epic the Musical - Personally I see this as Sinner!Adam singing to Charlie (mayhaps during one of their sessions?) Some of these thoughts on the lyrics aren't specifically Splinter Fractures (that goes for all of them) but in part my own interpretation of (sinner) Adam :)

I look into your eyes and I think back to the son of mine (Abel) You're as old as he was when I left for war (When he was killed by Cain) Will these actions haunt my days? (nightmares eyyy) Every man I've slain Is the price I pay endless pain? Close your eyes, and spare yourself the view How could I hurt you? (Charlie is like the perfect blend of both her parents, both people he loved. This would be less of a question abt the future and more of a "why did I do that?")

I'm just a man, who's trying to go home Even after all the years away from what I've known (he's homesick for Eden, when everything was still good and happy) I'm just a man who's fighting for his life Deep down I would trade the world to see my son and wife (Beneath everything, he just misses being with the people he cares about)

But when does a comet become a meteor? When does a candle become a blaze? When does a man become a monster? When does a ripple become a tidal wave? When does the reason become the blame? When does a man become a monster? (Everything slowly going wrong, and losing control, to the point where he becomes the monster, the leader of exterminations, killing millions for the protection of heaven.)

I'm just a man... (He needs Charlie to recognise that he's only human. He's not an angel, not someone incredible powerful or untouchable. He's just a man, and he has made a lot of mistakes, because making mistakes is human... But simultaneously, this is regret, and an admittance to himself. He doesn't want to be human. He wishes he was an untouchable angel, but he's not.)

- • -

Monster from Epic the Musical - I've talked about this one in a different post already, so you know the brainrot is reallll. To me this song kind of tells the story of Adam becoming the Lead Exorcist. How he basically gave up his humanity to protect Heaven, both out of a sense of duty and because the people up there (his kids) matter to him and he's afraid of seeing them get hurt.

How has everything been turned against us? How did suffering become so endless? (When they got kicked out of Eden, the rest of their mortal lives was him and Eve against the barren world, nigh endless suffering was their punishment) How am I to reunite with my estranged? (As much as he hates Lilith and Lucifer for abandoning him and making him out to be the villain, he still missed them) Do I need to change? (He believes himself to be the problem)

What if I'm the monster? What if I'm in the wrong? What if I'm the problem that's been hiding all along? What if I'm the one who killed you Every time I caved to guilt? (Cain and Abel </3)

The in-between part here is specific examples from Epic, but there's plenty of similar stories to Adam. Was Lilith wrong to take the apple or was she actually being trapped here by the angels? Was Lucifer wrong for choosing her side, or was he just taking care of someone he loved? Were the angels wrong for kicking him and Eve out of Eden, or did they deserve it?

If I became the monster, and threw that guilt away Would that make us stronger? Would it keep our foes at bay? (This is Adam suggesting the exterminations after the initial uprising. He doesn't really want it to happen, but he feels like it's a necessary evil to keep his loved ones safe) If I became the monster to everyone but us And made sure we got home again Who would care if we're unjust? (His reasoning for why the exterminations aren't evil or unjust: they attacked us first, I'm making sure they can't hurt us again. Especially personal in Splinter Fractures because he just had to see Abel die for a second time) If I became the monster...

I actually drew this part because the brainrot was getting to me. I don't love how it turned out but I spent hours making it so I might as well put it here 0_o

Then I'll become the Monster I will deal the blow And I'll become the Monster Like none they've ever known So what if I'm the Monster Lurking deep below? I must become the Monster And then we'll make it home (again, he feels like it's something he has to do to keep people safe. To some degree he blames himself for Eden, and original sin, and this is him taking responsibility for what he believes to be his mistakes. He's aware of how all of Hell will perceive him if he does this, and he chooses to do it anyway)

- • -

Don't Save Me by Chxrlotte - Ah yes, a song about giving up, and asking people to just let you drown in your pain. Very much a song of self-loathing which is so Adam to me, especially in Splinter Fractures.

I came from the darkness, hiding on my own Like rain thoughts are harmless, leave me here alone The waking nightmares aren't as bad as dreaming, I suppose (life is a nightmare but the sleeping nightmares are worse)

Maybe I'm wretched and deserve this, I don't know (Adam questioning if maybe he really has been evil all along, it's not like he knows why he's in hell to begin with...) Don't save me, I'm almost glad if this is how I go (Ah... wishing for death... almost)

Look into my eyes And tell me what you see A demon in disguise Pretending to be me (hmmm that mirror scene. Also this is very What Lute Sees and convinces herself to believe. That it's not really him, but rather a demon pretending to be Adam) Bury your surprise And listen carefully He lives inside my mind He'll never let me free (Being trapped by your own thoughts, the insecurities will never leave Adam alone! They'll stick with him forever, buried so deep in his soul that he's unlovable, that everyone leaves, that no matter what anyone says, he's just broken.)

The wasteland never ends and it's killing me Wait and count to ten, but I'll never be Able to live, I can't seem to breathe (just a case of the 'shakes' right? Definitely not a panic attack /s) I'll die fading carefully so don't save me (this whole song is about refusing help, which is exactly what Splinter!Adam did practically every time. He only accepted it when the alternative was living on the streets of Hell and all the horrifying shit that comes with that)

Standing on the edge, it's darker now And it's in my head, I can't hear a sound Facing the storm, I'm cast out at sea I'll drown eventually so don't save me (Adam very much believes that at some point he'll just be kicked out again. That this is all temporary, and eventually he'll drown)

I can't live anymore and I'm the one to blame At night my thoughts, they scare me I can't face another day (I feel like I don't need to repeat myself too much. Blaming himself for things that are, in actuality, not really his fault)

Don't save me I think I'm in hell These walls are talking I can tell I've bathed in fire since I fell Don't leave me on my own (this is right at the start of the fic. He's been in Hell for a while and it has damaged him, he finally reaches out for help for the first time, almost begging Lucifer not to just leave him on his own there, and it kickstarts his way out of his hell-spiral)

- • -

Enemy by Imagine Dragons (solo version) - My favourite on this list, to the point where I want to make an animatic of it so badly but I do not have the time or energy to do so. The lyrics just follow the story of Splinter Fractures so well!!! (I had this one in my brain early, so it's far more focussed on the start of the story)

I wake up to the sounds of the silence that allows For my mind to run around with my ear up to the ground I'm searching to behold the stories that are told When my back is to the world that was smiling when I turned (He wakes up in Hell, and the irony is laughable to everyone who recognises him (just Lucifer at the start, Vaggie and to some degree Charlie later))

Tell you you're the greatest But once you turn, they hate us (this one's all heaven, most evident in Lute and Sera. They tell him he's the best, the first man, absolutely great! ...until he becomes a sinner. Then he's nothing but a lowly demon to them, they treat him with disgust at best, and outright hatred at worse)

Oh, the misery Everybody wants to be my enemy Spare the sympathy (Same as before, asking Lucifer to not leave him there. Asking for the slightest drop of sympathy (he only gets it when he has a panic attack after)) Everybody wants to be my enemy (Everyone in Hell hates him for the exterminations, everyone in Heaven hates him for being a demon now. He's got no allies, only enemies)

Your words up on thе wall as you're prayin' for my fall (every sinner, especially those in the hotel, wanted him dead. They were, in a sense, praying for his fall, and they got it) And the laughter in thе halls and the names that I've been called (I can definitely imagine Adam being insecure enough that he always feels like people are laughing at him and mocking him behind his back)

They say pray it away I swear, that I'll never be a saint, no way (Adam is aware enough of his flaws to know he'll never be good enough to be redeemed into Heaven) A chair in the corner is my place I stay I shake and I think about the powers at play, the powers at play (his deal with Lucifer, knowing that a single wrong move will get him kicked back out onto Hell's streets, it absolutely terrifies him) And the kids in the dark that were doomed from the start The child in the basement, face to the pavement Oh, what a statement, love is embracement Love is a constant, love is a basis (there's a lot of different ways to interpret those last few lines: Adam believing the hotel is doomed (which he does), his feelings on the loss of Abel (twice), the fact that he still loves people, again and again, that he keeps trying even though they always leave him (ouch)) He cannot be, she cannot be, they cannot be changed, but keep on praying (He doesn't believe the hotel will ever truly work. One redeemed sinner is probably a fluke. Sinners can't change and become better... right?)

Goodbye (haha that scene in the lobby of the Heaven Embassy hahahaha... </3)

- • -

What Could Have Been by Sting ft. Ray Chen - This one is a lot more recent. Very much focussed around the chapters where they discuss Eden, and the story of Eden in general. It hurts to listen to sometimes, and has made me cry more than once (/pos)

I am the monster you created You ripped out all my parts (Lilith and Lucifer abandoning Adam broke his heart, absolutely shattered him. They are a large part of the why Adam is 'the monster' that everyone sees him as) And worst of all, for me to live, I gotta kill the part of me that saw That I needed you more (His approach to Lilith wanting to leave him was to pretend he didn't want her either. That he didn't care about her or Lucifer, or whatever happened to them)

I hope you know we had everything And you broke me and left these pieces (Them leaving, and especially Lucifer's words about how everyone will pick anyone else than him, definitely broke him to pieces. He was left to put himself back together, but he never truly healed right) I want you to hurt like you hurt me today and I want you to lose like I lose when I play what could have been (His response to Lilith being made infertile may have been harsh, but it was understandably bitter, as a response to the pain they caused him first)

Why don't you love who I am? What we could have been? (Lilith loving Lucifer instead of him, and the two of them choosing to leave together, rather than stay with him. I can imagine it felt to Adam like there was something wrong with him, that he already felt unlovable even before Lucifer rubbed salt in the wound with his later comment/curse)

I am your ghost, a fallen angel (Adam's appearance in Splinter Fractures certainly looks ghostly) You ripped out all my parts I couldn't care what invention you made me 'Cause I, I was meant to be yours (He firmly believed that him and Lilith were meant to be together forever, that's what made her rejection hurt as much as it did. They were literally made for each other, but Lilith still didn't want him)

- • -

That's it, that's the list (for now)! This post is so fucking long aaaaaa. I hope you like it anyways, and if you don't go through all of the lyrics that's fine, thanks for asking anyways <3

Indigo (finally got this out of drafts)

[leonenjoyer69]

*Inbox Invasion* Free ramble card!! Make it a long one, About literally anything, anything at all, can even switch topics constantly. This is literally just for fun.

LGOWKFLEKVK LET'S GOOO 🗣️🗣️

Okay so, starting off strong, let's go music. Will Wood and the Tapeworms, right? A few weeks ago I listened to both versions of every song twice to find which versions I liked better for when I eventually burned CDs (my car is old af, bbg ain't even got an aux, but also her ass ain't got an engine rn 💀) for the albums.

My verdict for Self-Ish? Literally all the songs are the exact same, except Self-, -Ish (which just sound a wee bit different), and Dr Sunshine is dead (which just has a longer outro in the original).

EVERYTHING IS A LOT THO? Some big differences in some songs. So here's my preferences:

6 up 5 oh- Remaster, the "oh how I know how I go.." Part just sounds better to me

(Bones)- Remaster, the radio/tv talk at the end isn't glitchy and stuff, like the OG

Front Street- Original, I like the snaps (tapping?) Behind the pre-chorus, along with the dialogue clip. But, also, I like how much clearer everything is in the remaster, so I'm kinda torn.

¡Akiado!- Original, I am,,,, not a fan of the extra end part in the remaster

White knuckle Jerk- Original. The background(?) Voices are quieter and sound kinda different. Idk I may be wrong about that tho.

Cover this song- Original. I hate hate HATE Batman will wood growling in my ear, please never make me listen to that version again, it was a genuine jump scare. (EDIT: THE REMASTER JUST PLAYED ON MY SPOTIFY AND??? HE'S NOT BATMAN ANYMORE??? IS MY SPOTIFY BROKEN?? PLZ IK I'M NOT CRAZY)

Thermodynamic Lawyer- Remaster. Not really a fan of the robot voice in the original.

Red Moon- original, his voice seems quieter or more drowned out in the remaster.

Lysergide Daydream- Original, don't remember why, so vibes ig lmao, there's not really a difference between the two

The First Step- Remaster, I think it just sounds a little clearer

Jimmy Mushrooms- either, they're literally the same lmao

Chemical Overreaction- original. WE CAN'T STOP HERE, THIS IS BAT COUNTRY 🗣️🗣️ need I say more?

Everything is a lot- Remaster, so then I don't have to listen to construction noises (or destroy to enjoy in general) 😋😋

So yeah, ig that's my dream Everything is A Lot album.

BUT NOW!! more music! But Chonny Jash this time!! Specifically the Ballad of Dr Jekyll and Bargaining/compromise.

First of all, I love the lyrical differences!! Ballad Jekyll leaning more towards blaming Hyde for everything and being way more self-pitying, while B/G Jekyll seems to have more of a subdued acceptance? Like, Ballad Jekyll is a lot more emotional and bitter, while B/C seems to take more of the responsibility. Also!! I like how in B/C Jekyll seems to be with someone else, while Ballad Jekyll seems to be alone. The contrast between the last lines ("but if it takes Mr Hyde with me, then I'm glad to hang" V.S. "so take my hand, hold it till the end") really does show that bitter self destructiveness vs that sad, duty-driven acceptance. AND LIKE UGHHH JUST THE LYRICS OF B/C IN GENERAL!! I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!

Also, the Mr Hyde Jive? I love Hyde being a silly fellow. Literally just being like "damn, I'm not the villain, smh, lemme go have some fun for you gayboy 🗣️🗣️ (might still ruin lives tho!! I am vice, teehee)"

Yk what? Fuck it, this whole ramble will be music. THE JEKYLL AND HYDE MUSICAL 🗣️🗣️🗣️ I love Anthony Warlow so much, all the Jekyll or Hyde-centric songs are so eoughhhh ughhhhh AHHHH. Favorite songs rn? Board of Governors, His Work and Nothing More, The World Has Gone Insane, This is the Moment, Transformation--I JUST UGHHH I love listening to his screams idk man. also Alive. I also love you, Gabriel John Utterson. His parts are so fun to sing.

BUT!! the absolute hold Board of Governors has on me is insane. Every time I hear the intro begin to play through my tv I look up. I'm literally pavlov dogged to that shit. It's basically a requirement for me to go "THE BOARD OF GOVERNORS OF ST JUDE'S HOSPITAL IS NOW IN SESSION!" every time it plays. I love sassy Jekyll and Stride, it's so funny, like yes!!! The girls are fighting!! The absolute sass of half that cast is crazy. I have every part memorized, I AM the entire cast and recreate it expertly 🗣️🗣️

Anyways, yeah, I love Utterson too, his voice is in my range perfectly, he's literally my bbg. All his parts in How Can I Continue On and His Work and Nothing More? Kdoelvkskfldk I love him I love him. JEKYLL THO? shaking him aggressively (lovingly) I want to chew on him and rip him apart. Warlow's voice for him is so EOUGJDJDKKD ‼️‼️‼️

OKAY THAT'S ALL FOR NOW, TYSM FOR THIS!! ILY, LOYAL SCIENTIST 🗣️🗣️🗣️

[sevicia]

(Dano) Riddler playlist + explanations

❔Youtube / Spotify❔

🚨 Disclaimer: These are my personal interpretations of his character. There are a few songs that are purely here because of fanon interpretations I have seen of him (that I don't necessarily share, but still think are neat). The songs are in no particular order.

🚨Disclaimer 2: There are spoilers for Year One! Also, a lot of these are about his relationship to Batman. In my defense, Batman is a major part of his development, motivation and most importantly, the trigger that really gets the story going.

Happy Meal I by The Cardigans - This is what I imagine a more calm Edward would think about when imagining a meeting with Batman, especially because of the Lyrics: "and now I've found a partner / no one can be happier than I am / and now I've found a new friend / no one can be happier than me"

Happy Meal II by The Cardigans - This is basically the same song except with a few minor changes in the lyrics and a slightly different vibe but I still include it because hey, it's a good song and it reminds me of him.

Of Angels and Angles by The Decemberists - A calm song that I think portrays his pain in a much quieter way than the comics. Lyrics: "there's a tough word on your crossword / there's a bed bug nipping a finger / there's a swallow, there's a calm / here's a hand to lay on your open palm today"

#1 Crush by Garbage - Riddlebat fanon song, about what Edward feels for The Batman, his willingness to be noticed and the fact he sees Batman in everything as a source of hope and comfort. Lyrics: "see your face every place that I walk in / hear your voice every time that I'm talking / you will believe in me / and I will never be ignored"

Paranoid Android by Radiohead - This song is so him it's not even funny. The first verse is him being overwhelmed by the constant corruption he sees in Gotham. The second is his relationship to Bruce after he learns of Renewal ("when I am king, you will be first against the wall"). The third is his views towards Gotham elite: they are pigs who don't care about the people they step on, but they will know his name eventually, as The Riddler. The fourth is a reflection while he's in Arkham and everything is over (after the flood): it's a desperate calm and a reminder of his days at the orphanage, trapped and hopeless.

My Iron Lung by Radiohead - This is half vibe half actual Riddler stuff, it makes me think of what Edward would've felt as a teenager; to me he would've been cynical and dissilusioned with life. Lyrics: "faith, you're driving me away / you do it everyday / you don't mean it / but it hurts like hell"

Bound For The Floor by Local H - The whole song reminds me of the part in the comics where Edward is trying to figure out what is really going on with Renewal and becomes frustrated. Lyrics highlight: "and you just don't get it, you keep it copacetic / and you learn to accept it, you know you're so pathetic"

I'm Your Boyfriend Now by They Might Be Giants - This is more of a Riddlebat song than a purely Riddler song and dips more into fanon than anything else, since a common interpretation of his character is having stalker tendencies when regarding romantic interests (looking at Batman rn). I think it's pretty fitting and this fanart inspired me to put it here. Lyrics: "you don't have to say it, I can see it in your eyes / I can feel it in your heart / I can hear it in your silence"

Inside My Head by Radiohead - The entire song is VERY close to his character (or at least how I view it), he is constantly blaming himself and when he realizes his situation had always been out of his control to begin with he turns to spite against everyone and everything that wronged or rejected him. For a long time he doesn't understand or know why his life is the way it is because he drowns in self-deprecation. Lyrics: "what do you want from me? / now you got me / now my fingers bleed / now they're staring at me / I'm a coward now / I hold my peace"

All I Think About Now by Pixies - Just a personal headcanon of mine that if he'd ever had a happy moment (such as the hope he felt when Thomas Wayne told him he had a future), he would mourn it and drown in all the possibilities of what his life could've been. Lyrics: "about the things that didn't last / if I could go to the beginning / then for sure I would be another way / make it better for today"

Baby, You're a Bomb by Get Set Go - Fanon Riddlebat song. The interpretation of Edward being so desperate for Batman's attention and being into pain at the same time is a very interesting mix. Lyrics: "take my body, take my soul / take the thoughts inside my head / you can masticate me whole / just don't leave me 'til I'm dead"

Bullet With Butterfly Wings - About Edward's rage and discontent, and his feelings towards the city. Lyrics: "the world is a vampire sent to drain / secret destroyers hold you up to the flames / and what do I get for my pain? / betrayed desires and a piece of the game"

Only by Nine Inch Nails - Edward's relationship towards Batman as he transforms into The Riddler. He is losing his old self, knowing that whoever he used to be is not of help to his cause: the only thing that matters is the pain he's felt. It also works as a reflection of his feelings towards Batman after he is rejected by him in the talking room scene. Lyrics: "now I am somewhere I am not supposed to be / and I can see things I never should've seen / and now I know why, and now I know why / things aren't as pretty on the inside"

Trouble Awful Devil Evil by They Might Be Giants - A moment of calmness (that I wish he could have) as he falls asleep thinking of what he will become. Here because of this fanart. Lyrics: "trouble awful devil evil / trouble awful devil evil / bat wings flapping just over my bed / swooping whirling around overhead"

No Surprises by Radiohead - Another more calm song that I believe still portrays his feelings towards his life accurately, seeing it through a lens of sadness rather than rage and despair. Lyrics: "a heart that's full up like a landfill / a job that slowly kills you / bruises that won't heal / you look so tired, unhappy / bring down the government / they don't, they don't speak for us"

Heaven Beside You by Alice In Chains - Again a song about his relationship with Batman (sorry), more of a headcanon/personal interpretation than anything. Still I think it shows how he would feel if he ever came to peace with the realization that Batman is Bruce Wayne (unlikely, but still). The song is pretty repetitive so I don't think it's necessary to write down the lyrics.

Bailando Solo by Los Bunkers - Token song in spanish, about what his teenage self felt a lot of the time (in my opinion). Lyrics, translated by me: "now that you're here, drowned in the middle of the crowd / and you're willing to do more than you can stand / the speakers amplifying the truth / now that you're here, in the middle of loneliness"

Discipline by Nine Inch Nails - Yet another song about him and Batman, about how he feels they help each other, and about how his cause and his "relationship" with him become his reasons to live. Lyrics: "and now it's starting up / feels like I'm losing touch / and nothing matters to me / nothing matters as much"

Creep by Radiohead - I couldn't NOT include this here. He often feels inadequate, rejected both by society and by himself, and he finds meaning in his life (or at least a new reason, a new drive) when he first sees Batman. He idolizes him as a beacon of hope and justice, someone worth something as he is making a change for the city. Lyrics: "you're just like an angel / your skin makes me cry / you float like a feather / in a beautiful world"

Stan by Eminem ft. Dido - Here ENTIRELY because of this fanart which I saw and thought to myself "yeah, it checks out". The song itself tells a story, but the overall meaning of it still stands: an obsessed fan that believes himself to have the right to make demands of his object of affection, as well has having a special connection/relationship with him. Lyrics: "you gotta call me, man, I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose / sincerely yours, [Edward] — P.S. We should be together too"

I Am You by Depeche Mode - About how he views Batman as a partner and, in a way, an extension of himself: they fight for the same cause, they are together, they understand each other. Lyrics: "strange compulsions that I can't control / pure possession of my heart and soul / I must live with this reality"

March Of The Pigs by Nine Inch Nails - Pretty much just his feelings towards Gotham's elite and what his plans are for them. Lyrics: "bite, chew, suck away the tender parts / I wanna break it up, I wanna smash it up, I wanna fuck it up / I wanna watch it come down"

Aaand that's it! Sorry it got so long lol, I had a lot to say :] you can rb this if you wanna, encouraged because I would love for more people to see / hear it and tell me what they think 🥳

[kydoesthings1]

Some songs that remind me of makugae hand picked from the Spotify of yours truly. Yes I’m very mentally well why do you ask

part 1 because this got too long with all the lyrics

Sure hope the formatting isn't fucked up lol. Also I forgot how links work but all this is on Spotify

As per popular demand and in no particular order, an un-exhaustive list of songs I bend metal bars with my mind to:

Bodybag by Chloe Moriondo

I don't know where exactly you expect my head to go When you look at me it's like I lose control You know that you're to blame when you say my name When you say my name, yeah … Don't know if I hate you or if I wanna date you Put you in a bodybag instead of my bed … I could cry when I hear you speak But that just makes me angry I wanna kiss you on your cheeks But I also wanna punch your teeth in

Such a Gaelio coded song. And he really did put McG in a bodybag instead of his bed so :D

Stardom by King Gnu

The English lyrics on the Internet are Wrong so I made up my own that hopefully don't sound like a bot wrote them

Behind the smile I tried to make up in my dreams How many times have I shed tears? Remembering the roads I have walked How many times have I swallowed humiliation? It's not quite like yearning But there's no end to the dreams of people who continue walking on the right path … Tearing through the clouds up into the atmosphere And right down to the end of Hell … I've overcame the nightmares from that day Then I'll reach for the spotlight no matter how many times … Life has to come to an end But there'll be no end to my name Poisoned by the light of glory, just beyond the limit Don't fear the end Laugh it off as recklessness Now that I've done all I can All there's left is to wait for fate

Apparently this was written for the Tokyo Olympics (aren't the lyrics too ominous though??). I don't really care about sports so this is a McGillis song to me

Father by The Front Bottoms

But you look good tonight, girlfriend Can I sleep in your bed? And when I crawl out in the morning Can I stay inside your head? 'Cause you were high school And I was just more like real life And you were okay, okay as a girlfriend, girlfriend But I was just more like his wife I'll do the push-ups, I'll wear the makeup I'll do whatever he wants all night 'Cause you were okay, okay as a girlfriend, girlfriend But I was just more like real life

To me this is McGillis pov about Gaelio and it makes me want to chew on drywall. Izn*rio is there too although we all wish he weren't. (Ignore the heterosexuality.)

Arms Tonite by Mother Mother

I know people have opinions about Mother Mother songs in character playlists BUT the lyrics are too good to not put in this one:

I fell in your arms tonight I fell hard in your arms tonight, it was nice I died in your arms tonight I slipped through into the afterlife, it was nice White light in your arms tonight I lost sight in your arms tonight, it was nice And hey, you, don't you think it's kinda cute That I (I) died (died) right inside your arms tonight? That I'm fine even after I have died? Because it was in your arms I died

Fairly straightforward McDeath song.

(In a way it was the best possible way for McGillis to go out, in a fight not after he get arrested and tried. Or he could've blown up in space and not die in the arms of his historians-will-say-they-were-best-friends best friend)

Crystalline by Circrush ft. GUMI

Tell me what to say And lead me through the shadows Show me the escape Where you go I will follow … I'm falling apart piece by piece To shards of what you have made of me But I've risen above all that I have become Turned from the pain I was trained to love … I am fixated on all of the things we were together But those are fragments that are better off lost forever

Return (Kaeriuchi) by John ft. Hatsune Miku

The English lyrics are wrong again lol

I won't forgive you if you keep up that irresponsible attitude Can't you never show yourself in front of me again? Do you know of blue roses? They go well with sad words Though they would be a waste for you Take this! The gunshot heard in the middle of the night And this upside down love Are still waiting to strike back The genuinely lonesome ringing cheers And those annoying trash Are still waiting to strike back It's the last stand

A song that fits Vidar!Gaelio well

Love and War by Fleurie

Lover, hunter, friend and enemy You will always be every one of these

There are so many songs that go nothing's fair in love and war for some reason

Romantic Homicide by d4vd

In the back of my mind You died And I didn't even cry No, not a single tear And I'm sick of waiting patiently for someone that won't even arrive In the back of my mind I killed you And I didn't even even regret it I can't believe I said it But it's true I hate you

I know I know another overused character playlist song but it matches if you interpret it in a Gaelio is coping with killing McGillis and failing type of way

Say It. by Yorushika

This is quickly becoming just me translating songs wth

I'm sure I'll be thinking of you on the last day of my life Although it's a shame that I won't be able to say everything Ah, someday on the last day of my life, I'll say that you’re gone Even, even, even, even, even more properly … And on the last day of my life, if I'll be able to see you I’m sure I’ll be singing of love even on the last day of my life So I can say it wasn't all for nothing Ah, someday on the last day of my life, although I still won't be able to believe that you're gone More, more, more, more more, more, more, about you I'll say it even more, more, more more, more properly

I expose myself as the biggest Yorushika fan. Something about not being able to say what you really wanted to say to the person before they died...

Spiracle by Flower Face

Not pasting the entire lyrics lol but here are some ones I really like

I want the parts of you you only show To the corner of your bathroom mirror I want the parts of your hand-grenade heart That beat slowly with anger and fear … I want your quiet, your screaming and thrashing The salt on your lips and the hands that God gave you And I want your violence, your silent sedation Your moon eyes, your telescope, morbid fixation … I want you, butterfly, I want you, sailor I am your lover and I am your jailor

Something about desiring someone so deeply and wanting everything about them...This is just an insanely good song

part 2 very soon. I have a stomach ache and am going to watch youtube videos in bed now (please don't judge my taste in music this is the only thing i have going for me)

[zeldahime]

I think reducing all country post-9/11 (23 years of music!!!) to jingoism + Carrie Underwood is, well, reductive, and seriously misses a lot of beautiful music that's come out in the last two decades. Even from the last couple years, here are some of my faves in no particular order:

Honeysuckle & Lightning Bugs (2022) by Blanco Brown, an artist who started off in hip-hop and rap who has been recording more generally "Southern" music, not confined by a single genre, for a few years now. You might have seen the album's single, The Git Up, go viral on TikTok during the pandemic (while the album is from 2022, The Git Up was released in 2019). The album is fun romp, chalk full of influences from Johnny Cash to Outkast to disco to everything in between, and The Git Up is a bouncy line dance.

Deeper Well (2024) by Kacey Musgraves. Pretty much everything Kacey Musgraves has put out has been golden, from her first hit Follow Your Arrow in 2013 to her latest album, Deeper Well, which came out just a few weeks ago. It's a sad, reflective album with slow songs and heartbreaking lyrics reflecting on family, relationships, and the sacrifices made in life. In the words of my little sister when I was texting her about the new album, quote, "yeah zelda all of kaceys stuff is pretty sadgirl summer". Nerds on this website might especially like Anime Eyes, where she compares the way she feels about looking at her partner to shoujo filters in anime.

American Heartbreak (2023) by Zach Bryan. This album is the closest to bro country I'm willing to come, and let me tell you: there is a fucking reason. Zach Bryan's voice is electrifying. He makes me long like I've never longed before, completely encases me in the emotions of the song. I feel his vocals in my fucking soul. I first heard Something in the Orange while I was driving into the sunset in South Carolina and something inside of me irreversible changed. It's a whole album of done-her-wrong songs, every one of them designed to teleport you to the bar where you're sobbing into your fourth glass of whiskey.

Through the Madness vols. 1 (2022) and 2 (2022) by Maddie & Tae. Maddie & Tae have been one of my most adored country acts since they came out with Shut Up and Fish 8 years ago. They have the irreverence that made 90s country so much fun! While they're primarily a touring act and usually release their songs one at a time on YouTube/Spotify/etc, their release of Through the Madness put a lot of their songs out for purchase on CD. Drinking to Remember has been absolutely feeding my fanfic brainworms in the last few months. I'll leave you with my absolute favorite song from them though, Tourist in this Town, which is basically the most perfect representation of losing a close relationship I've ever heard—a breakup song for any kind of breakup.

Palomino (2022) by Miranda Lambert. When people say they "only like women's country," they mean Carrie and Miranda. Kerosene and Gunpowder & Lead are pretty much the only things that got radio play in the years that weren't bro country in 2005 and 2007 respectively, which is also approximately when these people stopped looking for new country. Can't blame them, really; 2007 was a very bad year for country in general. Here's the secret though: Miranda hasn't gone anywhere. She's been recording the whole time. Palomino is her latest album, and if I recall correctly the first one she's released since she split with Blake Shelton (her ex-husband and fellow country star). While a lot of my all-time favorite Miranda songs are from her 2007 album Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, since that was released when I was about 12 and nothing will ever compete with the music you heard when you were 12, I've loved the shift in her sound on Palomino and the themes of independence that run through it. If I Was a Cowboy is my particular favorite because it gives me so much gender.

And I'm not even going to bother trying to sell Cowboy Carter (2024) by Beyonce. It's fucking Beyonce. You've already heard of it.

TL;DR not only is the last 25 years of country not made up entirely of jingoistic bro country, not even the last *two* years of country are. The good stuff is getting airplay on the radio, even, and country radio is by no means the primary way tumblr users are going to be hearing new music. All you have to do to hear the good stuff is be a little curious and click on new things, or even old things that you already know you like and see if they have any new things.

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

[lcmongrass]

2, 18, 81 from your spotify 2022?

02 : Can’t Do Better — Kim Petras

“ don’t you know that you were meant for me ? / don’t you know that this is killing me ? ”

i blame this one entirely on me watching the summer i turned pretty while sick out of my mind with covid in june. first time i ever heard this song, and i’m convinced the virus made it so i was instantly addicted, because for the rest of summer i could not for the life of me stop hitting play and repeat. kim petras is also my number three top artist, based solely on the ridiculous amount of times i've listened to this one song.

18 : Love Grows (Where My Rosemary Goes) — Edison Lighthouse

“ she’s really got a magical spell / and it’s working so well / that I can’t get away ”

while i’d for sure heard this song prior to it becoming the sound of a tik tok trend this year, that’s the reason I got back into it. why lie, you know ? this ear worm has been living in my head for months and months now, but it’s so sweet and fun and catchy that i’ve yet to skip it when it comes on shuffle while i’m in the car.

81 : mirrorball — Taylor Swift

“ and i'm still a believer, but i dont know why / i've never been a natural, all i do is try, try, try / i'm still on that trapeze / i'm still trying everything to keep you looking at me ”

this one has been steadily growing on me for the past two years. when the folklore trackless dropped, i immediately claimed this is me trying — based on the lyrics above, who’s really surprised ? and while i stand by that to this day, i've come to realize i might just be just as much of a mirrorball girlie. if i'm in the right ( or rather, wrong ) headspace, this one has the very real, very dangerous potential to leave me a complete wreck. 

[dddomenstarstwst]

Play me a song, my love!

I used a fortune wheel to get a prompt and a character so blame everything on it. These are a little long, i guess. Please enjoy!

Prompt: Musician!Crush

Character/s: Dylan Lenivy, gn!reader

Genre: fluff

Format: headcanons

🎧 Dylan enjoys listening to music very much. He thinks music is much more than just a bunch of sounds and some fancy lyrics. He thinks music brings people from all over the globe together. For music it doesn't matter what your sexuality, race, gender identity or age is. That's why he loves music.

🎧 Dylan also loves to support small content creators. He's a sucker for some homemade accessories, artists who aren't as "popular", or people who make music themselves without expensive equipment and a team of professional editors.

🎧 Such as you. He found your youtube channel and spotify account and immediately fell in love. Your style, your voice, everything was perfect for him. He became your fan, he followed you on all your social media.

🎧 Dylan was excited for the summer camp, the place where he can became the version everybody loved. Blasé Dylan. Something he himself always wanted to be. Blasé Dylan is funny, sarcastic, easygoing. In one word - perfect. People won't like Dylan Dylan, because he's not as funny and optimistic, real Dylan is a nerd, he likes quantum physics, he enjoys big dusty books and quiet evenings.

🎧 Dylan unpacked his bag and was ready to get to know his fellow counselors. He knew Ryan, mysterious and alluring, a loner, not really expressive, but Dylan never blamed him. He himself didn't like excessive reactions he gave, but that's what people loved.

🎧 Nick was shy and polite, had a cool accent, Jacob was similar to Blasé Dylan, but probably more real, Emma, an influencer girl, was a little annoying, but fun nonetheless, Abi was an artist with a crazy amount of talent and passion for it, and Kaitlyn was badass, no need for more words.

🎧 But there was also someone that caught his attention. They were another counselor, a very cute one, he admitted to himself. They were awkward at first, but got along with everyone pretty quickly. Dylan swore their voice sounded familiar, but he just couldn't place to where he heard it.

🎧 You both bounded quite fast, became best friends, then he developed a crush on you, and you on him. However, none of you confessed, thinking it was just your imagination. No need to say the Hacketteers were screaming internally from both your stupidity.

🎧 Dylan was an announcer of the camp, so he got to play whatever songs he chose. Of course, that means he sometimes played very questionable ones, but most of the time he played whatever was on his playlist. And that means lots of songs produced by you.

🎧 Much to your surprise, because you never knew he liked your works. When you visit his radio hut, nervously darting your gaze everywhere but to his face, he asks if something is wrong. You don't answer.

🎧 Dylan freezes up, when you ask him if he knows who the artist is. He says your nickname, but you shake your head. 'What's the real identity of the musician, i mean. Do you know it?' He answers negatively, implying that they never disclosed it.

🎧 Dylan swears, he feels butterflies in his stomach when you laugh at his answer. He doesn't care if you think he's ridiculous. He just loves the sound. Dylan swears, but this time under his breath, when you tell him you're the artist that he so loves and adores

🎧 And he doesn't believe it, until you show him some unfinished lyrics and not fully recorded songs. Dylan stares at you, still in awe. His idol, someone he obsessed over so much, was standing right in front of him.

🎧 That said, Dylan will pester you with questions about music making process. He might not understand most of the stuff, but he loves when your eyes light up when talking about your passion. He'll also ask you to teach him how to make music, but that's not an easy task, so you left it for some other time.

🎧 Dylan considers you the biggest professional of all times, much to your embarrassed protests. He complements your skills and is genuinely curious about music from the creator's standpoint.

[primusdemoniccreatrix]

Malignant: Gabriel May Headcanons

Okay look my ass is Thirsty(TM) over evil brain gold dagger husband so here I am inflicting my brainrot with some headcanons to procrastinate my midterms

Gabriel May is vengeful and does enjoy destruction, but he does not enjoy senseless carnage. He wants there to be a justified reason to kill. He's not unreasonable; he doesn't take so many human lives for fun, he goes after people who have done him wrong and leaves everyone else alone. He's a classy murder man

He thinks guns are unstylish. He's got a flair for the dramatic, have you seen his hair and coat? Boy's got theatrics written all over him

He likes to dance. Have you seen the way he spins when he kills in that scene? Yeah he loves to dance, he just hasn't found the right dance partner and here I am volunteering for the tango, both vertical and horizont-

He likes music that speaks to him, and often gentler music with melancholy lyrics, especially Hozier, Sevdaliza and FKA Twigs. He also has STFU by Pink Guy cause Gabriel has perpetual levels of ANGER sometimes. He discovered Spotify and has playlists for niche emotions, naming them Reluctant Revenge, Lonesome Tranquility, and even Sad Boy Hours

He loves, with all his shared heart, tactile sensations, especially affectionate ones. He is touch starved and he feels things, even when dormant he felt Madison's pain and aches. His body heals quickly but not his heart. Feeling the warmth of another human hand, for just a moment, is an experience he will cherish. Tactile boy.

His favourite colours are black, gold, and red and they work so WELL together

He likes history, and he really wants to learn more, an interest he inherited from his birth mother. Brain-stuck babe would major in history, probably of Modern history and minor in Medieval or Ancient history, or he just might study anthropology all the way.

He's actually pretty funny; he loves to roast people. If something happens he is providing unnecessary commentary on it and sometimes Madison has found herself choking on her spit trying not to laugh. He uses Vine references on the daily

He sees himself as a protector. He is Madison's brother, he has always considered his flesh and blood to be deserving of protection. He may not consider her worthy of the body, but he says so to hide the fact that he is worried for how she came out living her life, and he wants to protect his sister who, like him, is trying their best, except he believes he knows how to stand up for himself. He cares a lot.

He doesn't hate his birth mother. I think, secretly, he loves her, he just hates himself and his tears slowly turned to rage because he felt the strain of all the hurtful things said about him. He doesn't hate his mom, he hates that life made him this way, that his suffering is the result of being born in a world so unkind he ends up blaming his mother, for how dare she birth him. He just wanted her love; after all, a child that is not initiated into the village will burn it down to feel its warmth (it's an African proverb)

Bonus: he likes flowers, especially how they smell after rain. His favourites are roses (he's a romantic), lilies, jasmine, and peony. His favourite weather types are light snow, overcast with a summer breeze, fog, and thunderstorms. He also loves walking under pine trees; the scent is calming to his raging, bruised heart.

That's all I have for now, I might add more, or if anyone reblogs this and we can add or share ideas, I'd be super happy to hear ya!

[icharchivist]

A3 x Sleeping at Last

I have a fondness for the musician Sleeping at Last and i decided to have fun associating at least one of his song per A3 Characters. Under the cut are songs as well as some highlight lyrics to justify my choice. Some of them i feel more strongly than others so anyone with a comment is welcomed as well.

Thus here i go:

& Spotify playlist of all those songs in order if you want to go through it

Mankai Company : North

We will call this place our home, The dirt in which our roots may grow. Though the storms will push and pull, We will call this place our home. We’ll tell our stories on these walls. Every year, measure how tall. And just like a work of art, We’ll tell our stories on these walls. Let the years we’re here be kind, be kind. Let our hearts, like doors, open wide, open wide. Settle our bones like wood over time, over time. Give us bread, give us salt, give us wine.

Spring Troupe: From The Ground Up

It took me 27 years to wrap my head around this- To brush the ashes off of everything i love. Where courage was contagious, confidence was key. Right as rain, soft as snow, It grows and grows and grows, Our home sweet home.

We'll try to document this light, With cameras to our eyes, In an effort to remember What being mended feels like.

We're home sweet home.

Sakuya Sakuma : The Projectionist

When I was young I fell in love with story, With the eleventh hour, with the blaze of glory.

When hands are tied and clocks are ticking An audience convinced, we're leaning in, holding our breath again Just when we thought the game was over The music lifts and our dying soldier lives And we breathe a sigh of relief The theater lights dim and all goes quiet. In the darkest of rooms, light shines the brightest.

We’re leaving, we’re leaving our shadows behind us now. We’re leaving, we’re leaving it all behind for now. But even dust was made to settle And if we’re made of dust, then what makes us any different? I guess we give what we’ve been given: A family tree so very good at giving up When we’ve had enough. Though truth is heavier than fiction, Gravity lifts as the projectionist rolls tape. And it makes us brave again

Masumi Usui : Venus

At first I thought you were a constellation. I made a map of your stars, then I had a revelation: You’re as beautiful as endless, You’re the universe I’m helpless in. An astronomer at my best When I throw away the measurements.

I was a billion little pieces 'til you pulled me into focus. Astronomy in reverse, It was me who was discovered.

Tsuzuru Minagi : Page 28

Have you read the script? Could you picture it? ... is it worth the risk?

Here in the second act I'm living in repair. Strange how the heart adapts when its pieces disappear. And there, on page 28, I'm so tired of drying glue, I begin my grand attempt at building something new. Though I tend to write the epiphany more immediately, I guess I'm trusting that there's such a thing as elegance in dissonance. God, I'm skeptical of pulling scenes. Was it something that I said? was it something that I did? Please don't get me wrong - I still need your help As history repeats itself Here in the aftermath, I'm pulling at the seams. Strange how the heart adapts in the absence of routine. And there, on page 29, I find “new” and make it mine. But I can't help casting shadows on all I leave behind. Maybe I could afford to change a bit... Even let go of the reigns? Every torn out page was worth the risk Now that the stakes have been raised. So here in the final draft, I've given all I have. Strange how the heart expands in the absence of a plan. There's nothing left on the page, but I'm okay with that, For I found my resolution Was designed for stronger hands.

 or Body

There's magic in our bones, A north star in our soul That remembers our way home. There's magic in our bones. No, I don't have a script for this. But I know the right words exist Somewhere, And I just need more time. I know, I know, I'm asking for the moon, But I must listen to intuition Believe me, I only want what's right.

Itaru Chigasaki : Pluto

I woke up from the same dream: Falling backwards, falling backwards ’Til it turned me inside out. Now I live a waking life Of looking backwards, looking backwards; A model citizen of doubt. Until one day I had enough Of this exercise of trust. I leaned in and let it hurt, And let my body feel the dirt. When I break pattern, I break ground. I rebuild when I break down. I wake up more awake than I’ve ever been before. Still I’m pinned under the weight Of what I believed would keep me safe. So show me where my armor ends, Show me where my skin begins. Like a final puzzle piece It all makes perfect sense to me… The heaviness that I hold in my heart belongs to gravity. The heaviness that I hold in my heart’s been crushing me.

Or  East

I set out to rule the world With only a paper shield and a wooden sword. No mountain dare stand in my way, Even the oceans tremble in my wake. The tide is brave, but always retreats. Even the sand, it cowers under my feet. My kingdom towers above it all, While I sleep safe and sound in my cardboard walls. Now I bear little resemblance to the king I once was. I bear little resemblance to the king I could become. Maybe paper is paper, maybe kids will be kids- Lord, I want to remember how to feel like I did. So I draw my sword with the morning sun, I summon the moon as soon as the day is done. The clouds march on, on my command. Even the rain, it falls according to plan. The trees bow down and give their leaves. I humbly accept their offerings of peace. The years wore on and changed my heart, The leading role for a smaller part.

Citron : Noble Aim

Chances are we are the same, against the odds, against the grain We lean, like gardens toward light but we wait, Like evening for night, Don't we? Chances are we are alike, against what better judgement writes We ache, like children for love For a purpose worthy of such a noble aim as love.

Chances are we bruise the same; a family tree desperate for rain. A thirst only deserts know best. a hurt so at home in our chests. Call it stubbornness or bravery, To let our branches continue to reach, With such a noble aim, With such a noble aim as love. Every broken branch and loosened leaf that we've grown to ignore, Is now a part of something greater than before. Every nest that rests upon our limbs, Seeking shelter from the storms, Is a purpose worth being broken for.

Chances are we are the same, against the odds, against the grain We lean, like gardens toward light, We reach with all of our might For such a noble aim as love

Chikage Utsuki : Neptune

Pitch black, pale blue, It was a stained glass Variation of the truth, And I felt empty handed. You let me set sail with cheap wood. So I patched up every leak that I could, 'Til the blame grew too heavy.

Stitch by stitch I tear apart,  If brokenness is a form of art, I must be a poster child prodigy Thread by thread I come apart If brokenness is a work of art, Surely this must be my masterpiece

I'm only honest when it rains If I time it right, the thunder breaks, when I open my mouth I wanna tell you but I don't know how

I'm only honest when it rains An open book, with a torn out page, and my inks run out I want to love you but i don’t know how...

           Or South

Some truths, over time, can learn to play nice. Some truths are sharper than knives. Some truths we only see in the corners of our eyes. Some truths we wish we could hide. Some truths can save us, Some take our lives. Some truths are fire and some truths are ice. No matter what category you fit into, Truth’s got its sight set on you. If truth is north, then I am true south. I can’t figure it out- God knows. Always looking up 'Til my eyes give up. That’s how I lost touch of who I am and who I was.

Summer Troupe : Joy

The clumsy start of adolescence, The glue that mends our broken remnants, An overwhelming sense of reverence, It's a glimpse of light in a mine of gold. A silver lining spilling over, The rumor of buried treasure, The starting line of an adventure, It's a glimpse of light in a mine of gold. It's an afterglow, it's an echo Still ringing out in spite of me. It's the faint outline of the divine In the hiding place of my periphery. So I let go and in this moment, I can breathe. I can breathe. The countless stars we're sleeping under, It's the brightest sparks that we remember. When our eyes are closed, we still see embers, A glimpse of light in a mine of gold. It's a glimpse of light in a mine of gold.

Tenma Sumeragi : Three

Maybe I've done enough, and your golden child grew up Maybe this trophy isn't real love, And with or without it I'm good enough Maybe I've done enough,��Finally catching up For the first time I see an image of my brokeness Utterly worthy of love

And I finally see myself, Through the eyes of no one else. It's so exhausting on this silver screen Where I play the role of anyone but me. I finally see myself, Unabridged and overwhelmed, A mess of a story I'm ashamed to tell, But I'm slowly learning how to break this spell. And I finally see myself. Now I only want what's real, to let my heart feel what it feels. Gold, silver or bronze hold no value here, Where work and rest are equally revered. I only want what's real, I set aside the highlight reel, And leave my greatest failures on display with an asterisk; Worthy of love anyway.

Yuki Rurikawa : Hope

There is hope in our eyes when we truly see each other Like the light of countless stars We are not afraid of the dark 'Cause there is hope in our hearts And every single beat, we feel it To the ends of the earth, our echo carries on We are sacred, we are strong, We are beautiful, we belong Please hear our unheard song There is hope in our voice when we listen to each other Barriers disappeared with every story told We are sacred, we are strong, We are beautiful, we belong Please hear our unheard song There is hope in our eyes, When we truly see each other We raise our flag, lift our voice This is our moment, We are sacred, we are strong This is our moment, We are beautiful, we belong This is our moment, We are worthy, we are true This is our moment, There are no borders from this view Please help us raise our flag There is hope in our eyes when we truly see each other

Muku Sakisaka :  Daughter

I want to see your happily ever after, That you know in your heart that you matter, That you are royalty. This is your kingdom, This is your crown, This is your story. This is your moment, Don’t look down.

You’re ready. born ready, And all you gotta do is put one foot in front of you. Our ceiling is your floor, And all you gotta do is put one foot in front of you. If only you knew

Misumi Ikaruga : Seven

How nice it'd be if we could try everything? I'm serious, let's make a list and just begin What about danger? So what, what about risk? Let's climb the mountain before we cross that bridge! 'Cause I'm restless, For whatever comes next

How wonderful to see a smile on your face It costs farewell tears for a welcome-home parade A secret handshake between me and my one life: I'll find the silver lining no matter what the price 'Cause I'm hungry, For whatever comes next Let me tell you another secret of the trade- It feels like sinking when I'm standing in one place So I look to the future and I book another flight When everything feels heavy, I've learned to travel light But I want to be here, Truly be here To watch the ones that I love bloom And I want to make room To love them through and through and through And through the slow and barren seasons too

I feel hope deep in my bones... And tomorrow will be beautiful.

Kazunari Miyoshi : Nine

Who am I to say what any of this means? I have been sleepwalking since I was fourteen Now as I write my song, I retrace my steps Honestly, it's easier to let myself forget

Still, I check my vital signs, Choked up, I realize I've been less than half myself for more than half my life

It looks like empathy to understand all sides But I'm just trying to find myself through someone else's eyes So show me what to do to restart this heart of mine How do I forgive myself for losing so much time?

A little at a time I feel more alive I let the scale tip and feel all of it It's uncomfortable but right We were born to try, to see each other through To know and love ourselves and others well Is the most difficult and meaningful work we'll ever do

Kumon Hyodo : Intermission

I'm so tired but I can't sleep. My mind is full but I can't speak. Among the dust of the hard-to-reach, I'm stuck Right here, somewhere between side a and side b. I could call it compromise, or just an intermission. Some kind of consolation prize for the race I never finished. I want to turn these tired gears. I want to feel the follow-through, Some kind of equilibrium... Something to set my watch to.

I'm here, somewhere between victory and a white flag. Caught in this purgatory dream, I'm stuck.   But I want to set the record straight, I want to retrace my every step. If I could just rewind all the tapes, Then maybe I'd find my loose thread.   Call it a compromise, or just an intermission. Some kind of consolation prize, so close, but never finished.   I want to turn these tired gears. I want to feel the follow-through, Some kind of equilibrium... Something to set my watch to.

 Pluto works for him too

 Autumn Troupe : The Sea of Atlas

We once felt safe, like no cure was needed. Our vocabularies had no room for “defeated,” But we grew up quick and became connoisseurs of it. There's a fine line, a fine line in between Our progress and our instability. We can't help ourselves but hunt for more. A design flaw? or the olive branch that proves the shore- The catalyst we've waited for.

Banri Settsu : One

Hold on for a minute, 'Cause I believe that we can fix this over time That every imperfection is a lie, Or at least an interruption Now hold on, let me finish,  No, I'm not saying perfect exists in this life But we'll only know for certain if we try

The list goes on forever of all the ways I could be better in my mind As if I could earn God's favor given time Or at least congratulations Now I have learned my lesson The price of this so-called perfection is everything I spend my whole life searching desperately To find out grace requires nothing of me I... I wanna sing a song worth singing I'll write an anthem worth repeating I... I wanna feel the transformation A melody of reformation I hold it all more loosely, and yet somehow much more dearly 'Cause I spend my whole life searching desperately To find out that grace requires nothing Grace requires nothing of me

Juza Hyodo : Taste

I am alive, I am awake. I am aware of what light tastes like. The curtains drawn, the table's set, I wanna be, I wanna be, at my best.

I'm on my knees and only scratch the surface.

Out of the woods, out of the dark. I’m well aware of the shadows in my heart. I wanna feel, tectonic shifts; I wanna be, I wanna be, astonished. I wanna be astonished. So I propose a toast: To fists unraveling, to glass unshattering. To breaking all the rules, to breaking bread again. We’re swallowing light, we’re swallowing our pride. We’re raising our glass, ’til we’re fixed from the inside. 'Til we're fixed from the inside. We're nothing less than a work in progress. Sacred text on Post-It notes. We only speak of a world in pieces. Let's make a map of what matters most: Where every fracture is a running river. Leading us back to our golden coast.

OR Mercury

No one can unring this bell Unsound this alarm, unbreak my heart new God knows, I am dissonance Waiting to be swiftly pulled into tune

I know the further I go The harder I try, only keeps my eyes closed And somehow I’ve fallen in love With this middle ground at the cost of my soul Yet I know, if I stepped aside Released the controls, you would open my eyes That somehow, all of this mess Is just my attempt to know the worth of my life

Made of precious metals, precious metal inside

Taichi Nanao:  Sadness

It feels like falling, It feels like rain,  Like losing my balance, Again and again It once was so easy, Breathe in, breathe out But at the foot of this mountain I only see clouds

I feel out of focus, or at least indisposed As this strange weather pattern inside me takes hold Each brave step forward I take three steps behind It's mind over matter, Matter over mind

Slowly, then all at once, A single loose thread And it all comes undone

Where there is light a shadow appears The cause and effect when life interferes The same rule applies to goodness and grief For in our great sorrow We learn what joy means

I don't want to fight, I don't want to fight it But I will learn to fight, I will learn to fight 'Til this pendulum finds equilibrium

Slowly, then all at once, The dark clouds depart And the damage is done, So pardon the dust While this all settles in, With a broken heart Transformation begins

or Bright and Early

The sun comes pouring in. Filling glasses up with diamonds, Stirring where I've been But it's all trigger and effect. Dominoes at their best. In the end I'm told, It taught me everything I know. That the wreckage left behind, will somehow make me grow.

In the end I'm told It taught me everything I know. But when the fire took our home, I lost part of my soul. From the ground up I'll keep building houses into homes. 'cause if trust is ribbon, Then patience ties it in a perfect bow.

Omi Fushimi : Aperture

Happiness is somewhere I have been before- A blurry photograph that I have since ignored. I'll carefully adjust the aperture once more, Until I set the record straight. I'll brush aside the dim, make room for the bright. I'll be an editor, no, a curator of light. I'll let my better angels always set me right, Until I even out the score. Until I even out the score. God, it has been quite a year- I've lived a little bit and I've died a little more. I know that I've asked it before, But please let the scale tip here in my favor. What was once the sweetest melody I've heard Is now a memory reduced to little words. I'll tune the orchestra and play the overture, Until I pinpoint every note. Give me the heart of an archeologist, That I may dig until I prove that I exist. A subterranean cathedral in my midst, Where echos come to rest.

Sakyo Furuichi : Touch

When will I feel this as vivid as it truly is, Fall in love in a single touch, and fall apart when it hurts too much? Can we skip past near-death clichés Where my heart restarts, as my life replays? All I want is to flip a switch Before something breaks that cannot be fixed.

Invisible machinery, These moving parts inside of me Well, they’ve been shutting down for quite some time, Leaving only rust behind. Well I know, I know - the sirens sound Just before the walls come down. Pain is a well-intentioned weatherman Predicting God as best he can, But God I want to feel again, Oh God I want to feel again.

Rain or shine, I don’t feel a thing, just some information upon my skin. I miss the subtle aches when the weather changed, The barometric pressure we always blamed. All I want is to flip a switch Before something breaks that cannot be fixed. Down my arms, a thousand satellites Suddenly discover signs of life.

Azami Izumida : Anger

Like wildfire, it starts in my chest The silence grows louder, ringing out in my head

I feel the Earth shaking under my feet I feel the pressure building until I can't breathe And it takes everything

And it all spills out, reckless but honest words leave my mouth Like kerosene on a flame of doubt, I couldn't make it right

Alarms will sound, but it's too late for holy water now Sooner or later the fire dies down, I'll open up my eyes

And I'll try and find the image of God In mountains made of ash and clouds of smoke It's fight or flight, buried in my mind, It's fight or flight It keeps my mind cold

But I feel it break, With just one misstep down a fire escape And suddenly I'm someone that prays, a last minute man of faith But I'll leave behind miles and miles of jagged lines Upon the surface of the Divine, I wish I could set them straight

Say

they impose the endless fight to always be perfect it seems they have been chosen to be above the rest

but the contradiction stands between these perfect lives and the words that they've misread there was no reading say all the things that you really want to say the truest of forms will show finally you'll find your soul

Bonus: Sakyo & Azami: Uneven Odds

I once knew your father well He fought tears as he spoke of your mother’s health I guess a part of him just couldn’t return Forgiveness is a lesson he cursed you to learn As your guardian I was instructed well To make sense of God’s love in these fires of hell No I don’t expect you to understand Just to live what little life your broken heart can Maybe your light is a seed And the darkness the dirt In spite of the uneven odds Beauty lifts from the earth As the years move on these questions take shape Are you getting stronger or is time shifting weight? No one expects you to understand Just to live what little life your mended heart can You’ll always remember the moment God took her away For the weight of the world was placed on your shoulders that day You’re much too young now so I write these words down, “Darkness exists to make light truly count.”

& Heirloom

You try your hardest to leave the past alone. This crooked posture is all you’ve ever known. It is the consequence of living in between The weight of family and the pull of gravity. You are so much more than your father’s son. You are so much more than what I’ve become. Long before you were born there was light Hidden deep in these young, unfamiliar eyes. A million choices, though little on their own, Become the heirloom of the heaviness you’ve known. You are so much more than your father’s son. You are so much more than what I’ve become,

You pressed rewind for the thousandth time When the tapes wore through. So you memorized those unscripted lines, Desperate for some kind of clue:

When the scale tipped, when you inherited,  A fight that you were born to lose. It’s not your fault, No, it’s not your fault, I put this heavy heart in you.

You remind me of who I could have been, Had I been stronger and braver way back then. A million choices, though little on their own, Became the heirloom of the heaviness we’ve known. You are so much more than your father’s son. You are so much more than the wars you’ve won. You are so much more than your father’s son. You are so much more than what I’ve become.

Winter Troupe : Homesick

Our resignation only comes on beaten paths When the world was flat we dreamt of its edges If love's elastic, then were we born to test it's reach? Is it buried treasure or just a single puzzle piece? It's poison ivy beneath our brave and trusting feet All revelations come to us in recovery Cry wolf, cry mercy, Cry the name of the one you were raised to believe Cry heart, cry yourself to sleep, Cry a storm of tears if it helps you breathe It helps you, if it helps you breathe

 Or Hourglass

We're taking turns at shattering apart. At least we're taking turns. How did we get so good at dismantling these hearts? How did we ever get so good? We dress our best to receive their sympathy. At our worst, we dress our best? “time heals all” According to these greeting cards. Oh how we'd rather time resets. If we could turn the hourglass, we would. If we could move a grain of sand, we would. If we could find our way back, we would.

Tsumugi Tsukioka : Clockwork

There is glass between our touch, phantom limbs of former love... and the truth is that I am so terrified that the callous is deeper than the surface of our skin. and it takes us twice as long, it takes us twice as long to heal. we'll lift up the ground to see the system of roots beneath. gears turn, endlessly, to bring the world back to life like clockwork, when it dies. the cadence of beating hearts, the click of its moving parts grows louder and louder from this restless earth... future gardens wait patiently below  and somehow we smell them blossom through the snow.

still unsatisfied, we chase what we're denied. as generations wait, we can't resist the taste of possibility. gears turn, endlessly, to bring us back to life again. like clockwork, we begin.

Tasuku Takato : Porcelain

The door broke when you slammed it shut, and the cracks kept reaching long after you left. through the floorboards, branching towards the hall, like vines that never rest... climbing like fire through the walls. a single spark that claims the whole forest - I know, I know... it's all for the best. but honestly, I would rather be safe from a distance than here... when I fell to my knees to sew the damage shut, I couldn't believe... a bright, staggering light came flooding into me from out of the seams. so I reached deeper in and pulled my whole world wide open, and for each broken mile, a billion miracles happen at once in everything... in everything. but I'm safe from a distance, right here. everything I love was made of porcelain, ready to break. but the bright, staggering light, it anxiously waits inside. like nesting dolls, the secret hides. and like every birth, it was a necessary pain... I know, I know... it's all worth the wait, worth the weight.

or Accidental Lights

On your mark, get set... A million miles past the finish line My heels lift at this imaginary starting line. The trigger slips; My heart was racing well before it's time. Time's running out, it's always running out on me, As the road up ahead disappears. Though it's all been said, and this empty dictionary is all that's left, I'll try to change the world in a single word. My hands are shaking, ready or not. Invisible ink well it's all I've got. So I'll concentrate and pick from these barren trees. Time's running out, it's always running out on me, And every road I discover disappears under my feet - Some call it reckless, some call it breathing. Have i said too much or not enough? Is it overkill or is it giving up, To measure out the distance of an echo's reach? If it's all broken mirrors and a chance roll of the dice, Then I'll risk everything for a glimpse of accidental light. Time's running out, it's always running out on me, And every road I've discovered disappears under my feet - Some call it reckless, I call it breathing.

Hisoka Mikage : Smell

Is this the part when the brain scans show where memories reside? Some ambiguous shape in me suddenly producing light Triggered like a tripwire, every time I breathe it in Isn't it strange that a Lilac tree is what unlocks where I've been? Like a time machine rebuilds the past, our memories return Like remembering the ashes before we burn

It finishes against my will, the light goes out, my heart goes still And just like that, I believe in ghosts

Time and space are at my back, Performing disappearing acts Now I can escape the smell of smoke Research says that the only way to keep memories intact Is to lock 'em away and close the doors to countless years of past I guess that explains why the strangest things can conjure up the past And forgotten time will find its long way back

It doesn't matter, I just know I need more Cause I feel like I've been sleeping through the better part of this Laying dormant through an endless winter that doesn't even exist

It's gravity in an hourglass, responsible for the avalanche And the loudest silence that I've ever heard Memory clear as a bell, A story that I will try to tell Maybe this time without words

Homare Arisugawa :  Four

Maybe I'm hiding behind metaphor Maybe my heart needs to break to be sure One day I'll wear it all on my sleeve The insignificant with the sacred unique But I've fallen in love with a ghost I lost my balance when I needed it most And this blurry photograph is proof Of what I'm not sure but it feels like truth I'm stuck swimming in shadows down here It's been forever since I came up for air Flashlight in hand determined to find Authenticity only poetry could even begin to try to describe

What if we already are who we've been dying to become In certain light I can plainly see a reflection of magnificence Hidden in you, Maybe even in me

or Son

Show me Who I am and who I could be Initiate the heart within me 'til it opens properly

Slow down Start again from the beginning I can't keep my head from spinning out of control Is this what being vulnerable feels like? And I will try, try, try to breathe 'til it turns to muscle memory I'm only steady on my knees One day I'll stand on my own two feet And I'll run the risk Of being intimate with brokenness Through this magnifying glass I see a thousand finger prints On the surfaces of who I am

Azuma Yukishiro : Two

Tell me, is something wrong?  If something's wrong, you can count on me You know I'll take my heart clean apart if it helps yours beat It's okay if you can't find the words, Let me take your coat and this weight off of your shoulders

I know exactly how the rule goes Put my mask on first No, I don't want to talk about myself Tell me where it hurts I just want to build you up, build you up 'Til you're good as new And maybe one day, I will get around To fixing myself, too I don't even know where to start Already tired of trying to recall when it all fell apart I just want to love you, to love you, to love you well I just want to learn how, somehow to be loved myself

Or Six

What would it feel like to put this baggage down? If I'm being honest I'm not sure I'd know how I want to take shelter but I'm ready, ready to fight And somewhere in the middle I feel a little paralyzed But maybe I'm stronger than I realize I wanna believe - No, I choose to believe That I was made to become a sanctuary Fear won't go away but I can keep it at bay And these invisible walls just might keep us safe With a vigilant heart, I'll push into the dark And I'll learn to breathe deep and make peace with the stars Is that courage or faith to show up every day? To trust that there will be light, Always waiting behind even the darkest of nights

Guy : Mind

First, the ground rules get established: Memory is historically inaccurate. But repetition, repetition sings 'Til finally the melody is sacred, rooted, unchanged.

It overwhelms the nervous system, This fearful constant state of comparison. In our grey matter, all grey matters. An embarrassment of riches in our heads, We gravitate to black or white instead. We were designed to send mixed signals, One image made up of different pixels All subject to interpretation. 'Til binary systems, binary systems run And the vibrancy of everything becomes zeros and ones.

Patterns form and feel important, It's the first brush stroke of a self-portrait.

[shamelessllamapeanutthing]

My RenRuki playlist

Direct link to Spotify for people who don't wanna sit through my analysis ✨

Are you bored yet? by Wallows ft. Cairo

Okay, so starting off angsty (it's alphabetically sorted, not my fault) but I personally feel like this song is perfect when it comes to Renji letting his mind run away from him.

Renji's insecurities when it comes to Rukia are Through The Roof, and his self perception is also just a lil bit fucked up. I can see them stumbling into a 'lull' in their relationship, as any long time couple would, and making losing himself to his doubts about whether he is enough for her or not, which I feel like this song reflects beautifully.

Rukia's answering steadfastness is also depicted beautifully by the feminine voice in this song.

Here are some lyrics in red for Renji's POV and blue for Rukia's-

What's wrong?

You've been asking but I don't have an answer

How come?

I'm still thinking, let's pretend to fall asleep now

Feels like I've known you my whole life

I can see right through your lies

I don't know where we're going

But I'd like to be by your side

Ashes- Stellar

RenRuki smexy times 👀 ft. Renji POV

I'll let the lyrics speak for themselves.

Now that I got a taste, I think that I'd suffocate

For every second that you aren't by my side

But now I'm stuck at the gate of Lucifer’s estate

I fell in love with a girl I met in Hell

...

Thinking about all the things

The way you pull my strings, I love the way you turn me on

You’re the Queen, so let me be your King

I’d do anything, so that we could rule the world

(like really I could just quote the entire song and call it Renji's internal monologue)

Bad Girl by Daya

Okay, the next song is entirely self indulgent (and almost nonsensical) but it's so funny just hear me out.

It all started with a dream, my dream to be precise. In which Renji was at a bar, where all these guys from BLEACH (exclusively dresses in leather) kept coming up to hit on him and somehow I just knew he was waiting for Rukia to show up.

He kept quoting lines from this song and well, when I woke up I already knew I couldn't NOT add it to my RenRuki playlist.

Nothing you could do or say is right

I already know just what I like (bad, bad, bad, bad)

Bad girl

Need a bad girl

Need a bad girl

'Cause the bad boys just don't cut it

Best Friend by Saweetie ft. Doja Cat

Yeah okay I know you think I am trolling you now but wait XD

*ahem* so there was this highly indulgent RukiHime AU that I was writing with a side of RenIchi and I distinctly remember a scene in which bffs Renji and Rukia were vibing to this song.

Like, you have to admit it, they would.

Bitch, you look goodt, with a T at the end,

Imma hype her everytime, that my motherfucking friend

Bitter Winter- San Cisco

My personal headcanon is miscommunication remains a big theme with the two of them even through the progression of their relationship. Don't get me wrong, I'll be the first one to start weeping over how well-attuned RenRuki are to one another but at the end of the day, when it comes down to it, communication is key. I feel like they'd take a while to truly grasp that and as a result of that, this song reminds me a lot of what I feel their fights would look like-

I'm stuck here, in the middle of winter

I feel a bit bitter about what you said to me

Well you never talk about it

Instead you scream and shout it

Never let nobody into let them know what you been through

And yet, in the same breath, this song also reflects the underlying devotion RenRuki have for each other that has them fighting tooth and nail to stay by each other's side no matter how tough the going gets at times.

I, no I don't wanna be

With anybody else but you

Can you come with me

blame game- mxmtoon

Okay, so we all know my fav flavour of Renji is Himbo™. Let's talk about my fav flavour of Rukia, numerous and detailed.

Jaded and bitter Rukia after The Academy Incident honestly hits the spot in me. Like, of course she will grow up and realise why Renji did what he did, but I do think she was heartbroken and deserves a good, ole angst arc.

And you

I think you knew

I put my heart into us and you cracked it in two

Break My Heart Again- FINNEAS

(There are happy, fluffy songs in this playlist I swear I just-)

Renji has anxiety. Listen to me, we're not here to debate that. He does and I do think he tends to draw back from Rukia on days it gets really bad. It hasn't always been easy on Rukia.

That, combined with the whole adoption shenanigans, yeah. A younger Rukia might feel hurt and upset by what she sees as Renji's hot and cold behaviour, before she reaches the route of the problem.

So don't pretend that I'm the instigator

You were the one, but you're born to say goodbye

Kissed me half a decade later

That same perfume, those same sad eyes

Cold Little Heart- Michael Kiwanuka

The first time @feastingonvicturi made me listen to this song, I pegged it as a Renji song.

It reminds of Renji's self-loathing and how futile he thought all of his efforts had been towards the end. He is willing to rip Soul Society apart to protect the baby hairs on Rukia's forehead and the fact that he not only failed to make her understand that, but couldn't keep her safe either has gotta be hard on him.

The sheer yearning, the loneliness, the self-hatred just ughhhhh

Bleeding, I'm bleeding!

My cold little heart

Oh I, I can't stand myself

...

Did you ever notice

I've been ashamed?

All my life

I've been playing games

We can try to hide it

It's all the same

I've been losing you

One day at a time

Cool Kids- Echosmith

RenRuki watching the other kids in the Academy.

Nothing in this world could ever bring them down.

Yeah, they're invincible, and she's just in the background,

And she says,

I wish that I could be like the cool kids,

'Cause all the cool kids, they seem to fit in.

I wish that I could be like the cool kids,

Like the cool kids.

Dark and Stormy- Hot Chip

This song, much like its name, reminds me of dark, stormy nights that two scraggly kids spent going above and beyond to be there for each other, protect each other. When they were scared, when they were in pain, through cold, oppressive heat, gut-wrenching nightmares or even thought the times when it felt like their world was melting off the edges around them, no way of knowing how to fight their situations, so much bigger, so much scarier than they were.

We made our own love

Nobody helped us

We'll make our own love

Outrun the sadness

Dionne- The Japanese House ft. Justin Vernon

Dramatic Renji pining when he is yet to realise that if he were to bend down and kissed Rukia right then, he'd be kissed back and then climbed like a tree.

And I know it's not very sexy when somebody

Loves you this much and knows you this well

But it's the way it is

And I sense it's not the best time to be trying

To fuck with your head and digging up old ground

So I squash it down

Electric Love- BØRNS

When I listen to this song, I get a very distinct image of pre-confession RenRuki dancing in a night club. Maybe Orihime dragged the entire gang there, maybe right as the song comes on they're still surrounded by all their friends.

They're the only two who exists in each other's worlds though, unable to tear their eyes off each other, as close as they ever will get to understanding the truth of their feelings without speaking them out loud.

And every night my mind is running around her

Thunder's getting louder and louder and louder

Baby, you're like lightning in a bottle

I can't let you go now that I got it

Everything I Do- Bryan Adams

Call me a sap, but if this ain't Renji's anthem then what is?

Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for

You can't tell me it's not worth dyin' for

You know it's true

Everything I do

I do it for you

Forest Fire- Brighton

Renji in SS arc when he realised how horribly wrong everything had gone. This song just captures the feeling of loss so well, all of the despondency and everything. Even apart from that, the symbolisms in this song are nearly perfect for RenRuki.

I keep imagining those flames that did rise

And blackened up the sky

The light that showed you barefoot in the snow

And then the fire started building up inside

Exploding blinding lights

Now I'm the one left screaming through the night

And how

Was I to know

I'm not strong

I should have saved you

And oh

I hope you know

That you're my home

But now I'm lost

Heart of Fire- Black Veil Brides

Ah, BVB my old love

Think about RenRuki tag-teaming opponents for max adrenaline rush while listening to this one.

And if you start paying close attention to the lyrics, you will realise they are near synonymous to the passion both of them carry as Soul Reapers as well as people.

This heart of fire is burning proud

I am every dream you lost and never found

This heart of fire is stronger now

Build your walls but you can't keep me out

I'll burn 'em down

Hey Stupid, I Love You- JP Saxe

This song is so fluffy, sweet and loving I just can't-

Rukia and Renji comforting each other, and talking about their insecurities, vowing to remind each other, over and over again, that they love each other if they ever begin to forget.

I'm not gonna interrupt

If you need to talk about it

Roll my eyes or get offended by

The way you doubt it

You know you're mine

You just forget sometimes

So promise me you won't

And you know I'll remind you

When you think I don't

Hey stupid, I love you

Holy- Zolita

When I say Renji worships Rukia, I mean Renji worships Rukia.

Worship your body as you walk my way

You're the only one who can make me pray

Kaise Mujhe- Benny Dayal, Shreya Ghoshal

This is a Hindi song and you can probably find better translations online than I could provide. The very music of this song however, conveys devotion so deep it almost feels as if it has replaced the beat of your very heart.

Here are a few lines translated-

You came to my life.. like the moon descends into the lake sometimes

Slowly and graciously

...

I used to belive

God no longer cares about his creation

But having made you

He has risen in my eyes again

I am indebted to him like I never was

Love Shit- LU KALA

In which Renji acknowledges his (lack of) self esteem and how much his life has been affected by it.

Show us a Renji as in love with himself as he should be, damnit!!!

Say anything you want 'bout me, I probably heard it

Thought I deserved it, nah, I don't deserve it

More Than Friends- BEKA, HONNE

Soft glances, occasional touching and sudden butterflies in tum-tums.

GOD SO SAPPY I LOVE IT

I was I was wondering if we could talk

I think about you every day

And the mix tape you made

Is all I ever play

Nothing To Lose But You- Three Days Grace

More angst hot from the SS arc because when I tell you I am an angst junkie I am one hundred thousand percent serious.

I know that I can't undo

The self-destruction, the damage I've done

I've got nothing to lose but you

Out of My League- Fitz and the Tantrums

Good ol' Renji having trouble believeing this is for real and that he is truly Rukia's HUSBAND and the FATHER of her daughter and not just an elaborate fantasy of his younger self.

'Cause you were out of my league

All the things I believed

You were just the right kind

Yeah, you were more than just a dream

You were out of my league

Got my heartbeat racing

If I die, don't wake me

'Cause you are more than just a dream

Pal- Javed-Mohsin, Arijit Singh, Shreya Ghoshal

Another (the last) Hindi song on this playlist. It speaks of how within a moment that you fall in love with someone, your entire life can change and find a whole new meaning to it.

Here are a couple of lines translated-

Within that moment I remain fixated

When you first out your hand in mine

...

When you laugh, I sing

When I cry, you wilt

When I want to dance in the water,

You snatch rain from the clouds and pour it on me

Power- Isak Danielson

A beautiful song that reminds me of Renji and Rukia tiptoeing around each other, not knowing how much the other one loves them. A little sad, a little pained, but ultimately all too aware of this dedication that will never let them pull away from each other, even if it hurts some times. Also, fuckbuddies with (not) unrequited feelings slowburn AU

It’s my desire that you feed

You know just what I need

You got power, power

You got power over me

Replay- Iyaz

Ichigo introduced Renji to pop rap and this song reminds him of Rukia. That's it. That's my headcanon.

That girl, like something off a poster

That girl, is a dime they say

That girl, is a gun to my holster

She's running through my mind all day, ay

(continued in notes cause I hit the limit. Link to Spotify will also be there in the reblogs!)

[tameila]

April Week Two Albums.

April 11th: Ma Fleur, The Cinematic Orchestra

familiarity: Was in the mood for some orchestral flourishes on this fine Monday and went, “You know what always sounded right up my alley but I only ever listened to one of their songs? The Cinematic Orchestra”. So, anyway, here we are!

favorite(s) before listen: To Build a Home

favorite(s) after listen: To Build a Home, That Home, Music Box, Time and Space

April 12th: London Calling, The Clash

familiarity: I would say that I know all of The Clash’s hits  but I have never sat down and actually listened to one of their albums. recommended by @jabletown​ 

favorite(s) before listen: London Calling, Lost in the Supermarket

favorite(s) after listen: London Calling, Lost in the Supermarket, Hateful, Wrong ‘Em Boyo

April 13th: Wet Leg, Wet Leg

familiarity: This album popped up in my Spotify recommendations and, after also having them pushed to me through my tiktok algorithms, it felt like a good time to check ‘em out

favorite(s) before listen: N/A

favorite(s) after listen: Chaise Longue, Angelica, Wet Dream, Ur Mom, Too Late Now

standout lyric: that part in “Ur Mom” where she’s like,”I’ve been working on my loudest and longest scream”? cathartic. wish that were me.

April 14th: ¡Viva la Cobra!, Cobra Starship

familiarity: Foreseeing a rough end to the week, I decided to revisit another old pop punk haunt that was also recommended to me by my best friend. Cobra Starship was never amongst my “favorites” of their era, but I saw them open for FoB once and their songs that I did love I loved very much, so it felt only natural that I should give them the “lemme see if I was missing something” treatment. Also, I meant to start with their first album but only realized halfway through this one that I’d chosen the wrong one. I was just eager to hear “Kiss My Sass”. That’s their best song.

favorite(s) before listen: The City Is at War, Guilty Pleasure, Kiss My Sass**, Damn You Look Good and I’m Drunk

favorite(s) after listen: The City Is at War, Guilty Pleasure, Kiss My Sass**, Angie, Prostitution Is the World’s Oldest Profession, My Moves Are White (White Hot, That Is)

additional notes: I love “Damn You Look Good and I’m Drunk”. I do. That “S-C-A-N-D to the A to the L-O-U-S” chant? iconic. but it has been forcibly removed from my favorites because I just can’t stomach the transphobia of the “VIP party boys” interlude these days

April 15th: While the City Sleeps, We Rule the Streets; Cobra Starship

familiarity: Cobra Starship’s New Jersey energy is so strong that, even though I never knew that they were from New Jersey...I knew.

favorite(s) before listen: Send My Love to the Dancefloor, Bring It (Snakes on a Plane)

favorite(s) after listen: Send My Love to the Dancefloor, Bring It (Snakes on a Plane), The Kids Are All Fucked Up, Keep It Simple

additional notes: I feel like this first album was very run-of-the-mill, standard pop punk. Like, if I didn’t know it was a Cobra Starship album, nothing about the lyrics or sound would have stood out to me as being their style. Their personality as a group really jumped out in their next two albums.

April 16th: Hot Mess, Cobra Starship

favorite(s) before listen: Good Girls Go Bad, Hot Mess

favorite(s) after listen: Good Girls Go Bad, Hot Mess, Nice Guys Finish Last, Pete Wentz is the Only Reason We’re Famous, Living in the Sky with Diamonds

April 17th: Night Shades, Cobra Starship

favorite(s) before listen: You Make Me Feel...

favorite(s) after listen: You Make Me Feel..., Anything for Love, Don’t Blame the World It’s the DJ’s Fault, Fucked in Love

additional notes: I never really got into this album and, if I had to guess, it’s because this album felt like a more matured version of their first and let go of the more campy, playful style that they embraced with their two middle albums. I just feel like this album had nothing to offer that I couldn’t get from any other pop punk album. A decent listen, but it’s a shame that this is the album that they finished off on.

[daily-deancas-songs]

Song of the day:

Devil's Backbone by The Civil Wars

( + requested by @gelicalskeleton )

Links: spotify | youtube | apple music | tidal | deezer | amazon music

Peak deancas part: all of it

Character POV: Castiel

Timeline: s4 / s5 / any time

Lyrics below:

Oh Lord, Oh Lord, what have I done? I've fallen in love with a man on the run Oh Lord, Oh Lord, I'm begging you please Don't take that sinner from me Oh don't take that sinner from me

Oh Lord, Oh Lord, what do I do? I've fallen for someone who's nothing like you He's raised on the edge of the devil's backbone Oh I just wanna take him home Oh I just wanna take him home

Ooooooooooo Ooooooooooo

Oh Lord, Oh Lord, he's somewhere between A hangman's knot, and three mouths to feed There wasn't a wrong or a right he could choose He did what he had to do Oh he did what he had to do

Ooooooooooo Ooooooooooo

Give me the burden, give me the blame I'll shoulder the load, and I'll swallow the shame Give me the burden, give me the blame How many, how many Hail Marys is it gonna take?

Don't care if he's guilty, don't care if he's not He's good and he's bad and he's all that I've got Oh Lord, Oh Lord, I'm begging you please Don't take that sinner from me Oh don't take that sinner from me

send me your suggestions via ask! 💚💙

[jensengirl83]

Regret and Redemption Chapter eight

Dean x reader

Mechanic!AU

Word Count-2269

Warnings-Angst, language, heartbreak

Summary- Reader has left Dean and is trying to move on with her life. Can Dean prove himself and convince her to come back home?

A/N- Song in this chapter is “Don’t Know What’s You’ve Got Until It’s Gone” by Cinderella. Thank you to my beta @emoryhemsworth and all my girls and guy for the encouragement to keep going with this series. I love you all!

Amazing series cover and text dividers courtesy of @talesmaniac89​ 

Regret and Redemption Spotify Playlist

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2FX7eDSq8WEUlFyPUG1j8f?si=PZNFJlmqS42rhBuqO-Fd4g

Mary: Y/N, I know you probably don’t want to talk to me, and I understand, but Dean is not doing so well, and I hoped we could talk about what exactly happened. He has me very worried and I can’t get him to tell me much of anything. I will always think of you as my daughter, Y/N. I truly hope you will message me back and let me say what I need to tell you.

Y/N stared at the text from her mother in law, her emotions now worse than before. She’d always loved Mary and would miss her dearly, but she wasn’t sure if she should reply. Y/N was sure that Dean was having a hard time, but so was she. He was the one who’d betrayed her. He was the one who had thrown their marriage away with no regard for her feelings. The longer she looked at the text message, the angrier she became. Who gives a damn that Dean was having a hard time! Y/N had been the one who’d been slapped in the face with the worst of betrayals. Her husband had been sleeping around behind her back! She’d been nothing but loyal to him, so fuck him and his hard time!

Y/N threw her phone across the room with a scream. The raw emotions of everything had crashed down on her. She felt as if she was drowning as she fell to the kitchen floor in a heap of sobs and screams. How could he do this to her?! She’d loved Dean with every fiber of her being just to be betrayed by him. Her body wracked with sobs as she finally let the severity of their situation overtake her. She’d never felt a pain like this in her entire life, but she never loved anyone the way she had loved Dean Winchester.

Y/N had laid on her kitchen floor and cried, grieving for her loss. Her heart ached as she thought back to all the promises whispered in their tender moments together: the promises that had been shattered like porcelain being thrown to the floor, the words that ran through her head since the day she walked out on him. She missed her husband. Not the man he was now, but the man he had been: the man that would hold her close as he made love to her like she was the only woman in the world, the man who had promised her forever and meant it. She missed the way he used to love her and only her. Y/N decided then and there that those were the last tears she would ever cry for Dean.

Dean had just awoken, and his head felt as if it weighed twenty pounds and was on the verge of exploding. He’d drank himself to sleep the night before and he planned on doing it again. His marriage would be over in a few weeks’ time and he had nothing else to stay sober for. He’d ruined one of the only good things that had ever happened to him. He was being sued and could possibly lose everything he had worked for and he couldn’t care less. Without Y/N, he didn’t want any of it anyway. What was the point if he had no one to share it with?

Dean traded his morning coffee for another glass of whiskey. He threw his head back and finished the drink in one swallow, hissing at the burn as it made its way down his throat. He refilled his glass and repeated his actions from seconds ago, deciding to forgo the glass and take the whole bottle back to the couch where he planned to stay for the day. He had already called the garage and told them he didn’t know when he would be back in. There were too many memories of Y/N there, and if he had to be reminded of her, he would rather be home where he could drink himself into a stupor.

Dean stared down at the ring that was still on his left hand. He hadn’t been able to make himself take it off. Even though he had signed the divorce papers, taking his wedding band off made it all too real and he wasn’t ready for that. He was hanging on by a thread and the finality of removing his ring would drain what little strength he had to keep going.

Dean couldn’t handle the quiet any longer as he hit shuffle on his playlist. He knew he was sure to hear something that would remind him of Y/N, but he didn’t care. The memories of their time together were all he had left, and he welcomed the pain. It was the only thing that let him feel like he was still alive like he hadn’t died the day she walked out and left him alone. Dean turned up the whiskey and chugged as the tears began to make their way down his face. It became part of his daily routine to let the tears flow and wish he could go back and make different decisions. He laid his head back and closed his eyes, letting the pain and heartache consume him completely when the first notes of a song filled the room.  

I can't tell ya baby what went wrong

I can't make you feel what you felt so long ago

I'll let it show

I can't give you back what's been hurt

Heartaches come and go and all that's left are the words

I can't let go

If we take some time to think it over baby

Take some time, let me know

If you really want to go

The lyrics that filled the room had Dean singing along as his heart ached. They’d both always liked this song, but now it hit a lot differently.

Don't know what you got till it's gone

Don't know what it is I did so wrong

Now I know what I got

It's just this song

And it ain't easy to get back

Takes so long

He hadn’t realized what he had in Y/N. He took for granted that she would always be there, and now he was paying the price. Dean turned up the bottle as the song continued to play.

I can't feel the things that cause you pain

I can't clear my heart of your love it falls like rain

Ain't the same

I hear you calling far away

Tearing through my soul I just can't take another day

Who's to blame

If we take some time to think it over baby

Take some time let me know

If you really want to go

Y/N had already left and wasn’t coming back. Dean’s chest heaved with the emotion that was coursing through him. He always buried his emotions deep, but he couldn’t be strong anymore. His whole world was crumbling around him and he couldn’t keep his feelings from coming to the surface.

Do you want to see me beggin' baby

Can't you give me just one more day

Can't you see my heart's been draggin' lately

I've been lookin' for the words to say

Don't know what you got till it's gone

Don't know what it is I did so wrong

Now I know what I got

It's just this song

And it ain't easy to get back

Takes so long

The last notes of the song filled the air as Dean chugged the rest of the whiskey in the bottle. He could only wish for one more day, one more chance. He’d blown it and he had to deal with the consequences. If only everyone knew how he had planned on dealing with them, in a constant drunken stupor.

Y/N took a shower to calm down after her mental breakdown. The text from Mary was still in the back of her mind. She knew she needed to let him go and not look back, but she couldn’t help but worry. Y/N decided to give her mother-in-law a call to put this to rest once and for all. Y/N dialed Mary’s number and braced herself for the conversation she was about to have.

“Hello,” Mary answered.

“Hi, Mary. It’s Y/N,” she said with hesitation. She wasn’t looking forward to this conversation.

“Y/N! Oh honey, how are you?” Mary asked with concern.

“I’ve been better,” she answered honestly.

“I know sweetie. I’m so sorry, Y/N! I raised him better than that and I’m ashamed of how he betrayed you,” Mary’s voice getting softer as she finished speaking.

“It’s not your fault. He’s a grown man. He knew what he was doing,” Y/N wasn’t sugarcoating anything with his mother.

“He’s bad off, Y/N. I walked up on him screaming at his father’s grave and blaming him for everything last night,” Mary said in almost a whisper.

“What?!” Y/N asked in shock. Dean had only been to John’s grave a handful of times since he passed.

“I’ve never seen him that upset, Y/N, granted he was drunk, but he wasn’t that upset when John died,” Mary said, the sadness and worry evident in her voice.

“I don’t know what you think I can do, Mary. I’m not trying to be rude, but what am I supposed to do?” she asked exasperated.

“Go talk to him, Y/N. I know I have no right to ask you to do this, but talk to him and convince him to let you go without drinking himself to death! He won’t listen to any of us,” Mary pleaded with her.

“Fine! He’s not going to listen to me either, but I’ll try,” Y/N said with a sigh.

“Thank you, sweetie! I appreciate it! Bye, Y/N,” Mary said, hanging up the phone.

Y/N hung her head and groaned. How did she let herself get roped into doing this? She still had two hours before she had to meet Steven for lunch, so she decided to just go get it over with. She hoped that Mary had been exaggerating and that Dean wasn’t that bad, but she knew him too well. She grabbed her wallet and keys and headed to the door to go try to talk some sense into her soon-to-be ex-husband.

What Y/N saw when she walked through the front door made her heart ache. Dean was passed out, whiskey bottle still in hand. He looked like he hadn’t shaved or showered in days; he was a pitiful sight to take in. She walked over and took the bottle from his hand, setting it down on the coffee table as she took a seat next to it.

“Dean, wake up!” Y/N exclaimed as she tried to shake him awake.

The smell of the whiskey emanating from him made her stomach churn. She had seen him drink his feelings away before, but this was an all-time low. Y/N shook him again as he started to stir.

“We need to talk, Dean,” she said, trying to keep her voice void of all emotion.

“Y/N?!” Dean questioned as his eyes went wide at the sight of his wife before him. It had to be a dream.

“What the hell, Dean? What are you trying to accomplish here? Have you seen yourself? You look awful!” Y/N said as she shook her head.

“Hey, baby! I miss you,” Dean said as he reached out to run his finger down her cheek.

“Stop it, Dean! I’m here to tell you to get your shit together. Do you know that your mother practically begged me to come and knock some sense into you? She’s worried you are going to drink yourself into the grave and now I can see why she thinks that,” Y/N said as her voice began to crack. He’d hurt her, and their marriage was over, but seeing him like this was killing her.

“Come on sweetheart….I’m fine. Nothing to worry about,” Dean said slurring his words.

“You don’t look fine to me. You look like shit and you need to get a grip on yourself. This is ridiculous, Dean!” Y/N resorted to yelling, hoping it would make him listen because her heart was breaking seeing him so broken.

“Ridiculous?! I’m being ridiculous? I’m not the one who walked away and left me here for dead!” Dean yelled as he tried to sit up but to no avail.

“I’m not doing this with you, Dean. Get your shit together and move on! I won’t be back to have this conversation again!” Y/N growled as she stood to leave.

“I’m sorry baby! Don’t leave me, please! I love you Y/N, please come home,” Dean begged as he grabbed for her hand but was too drunk to catch her.

“I’m sorry Dean. We’re over, so please get a hold of yourself and move on. If you won’t do it for your family then do it for me, please?” Y/N said with her back to the drunken man.

Y/N didn’t give him a chance to respond before she walked out the door, slamming it shut behind her. She couldn’t let him know how seeing him like that had affected her. She barely made it to her car when the tears began to stain her cheeks. She promised herself that morning that she wouldn’t cry over him again, but seeing the shell of the man he once was had been too much to take.

@flamencodiva @sorenmarie87 @foxyjwls007​ @waywardbeanie @emoryhemsworth @voltage-my2dlove @hardcoresupernatural @msmarvelouswinchester @lyarr24  @deanmonandnegansbitch  @akshi8278 @midsummereve1993 @sutton2001  @emory91  @halesandy  @miss-nerd95  @ellewritesfix05  @bxbyizzy  @winchest09  @adoptdontshoppets  @defenderrosetyler  @hobby27  @whatareyousearchingfordean  @talesmaniac89  @deanwanddamons  @atc74  @superfanficnatural  @smol-and-grumpy  @supernatural-love14  @vicmc624  @squirrelnotsam  @tatted-trina6  @xhannahbananax03  @coffeebooksandfandom  @nihilismworld  @winchester-wifey  @mrsfox79  @malfoysqueen14  @moron225  @deans-baby-momma  @lovelyrocker  @fablesrose  @queenofchaos7  @maralisa124  @deangirl93  @aimee-ginge  @anathewierdo  @donnaintx  @screechingartisancashbailiff 

[springsteenicious]

WRITING PLAYLIST #2 of 5

This one is for @those70scomics‘ fic, Jackie Stargazer (ao3 / ffnet). Keep in mind, I put this together. None of these songs are approved by MistyMountainHop, I just think they fit the vibe of her excellent fic. And I would like her to know that she has veto power over this playlist, meaning that if there is a song she feels does not fit on this playlist, she can tell me to take it off :D 

I will also be adding to this as more of the story is published. Each time I add to it, I’ll make a post with the tag ‘Jackie Stargazer Playlist,’ so if you don’t want to see these, block that tag. 

Listen to the playlist on Spotify! (Let me know if that link doesn't work, Spotify was being weird.)

Number of songs on the playlist (currently): 24 songs

Bands/artists: Cheap Trick, Deep Purple, Ezra Furman, The Kinks, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pink Floyd, Rainbow, Ritchie Blackmore’s Rainbow, The Dead Daisies, Black Sabbath 

Significant Songs: All. So, under the cut is my explanation for each song, or just the important lyrics. 

Downed by Cheap Trick - I’m gonna live on a mountain / way down under in Australia / it’s either that or suicide / its such a strange strain on you / Ooh, I got a mind / Over you it's not the first time / Ooh, I got a mind

Mean Streak by Deep Purple - This song is about Ro. It’s a kickass song and the lyrics fit her (and Hyde) very well. --- She drive me crazy gets inside my brain / She spun my money down the drain, ohh / So I roll over for my reward / How much can I afford? / She says, "Just a little more" --- I can't take this no more / Tried so hard but I can't get through the door / Because one smile from those eyes / And I stand there paralyzed / And she says, "You better beg for more I mean / Get down sucker you know what I like"

Perfect Strangers by Deep Purple - I am returning / The echo of a point in time / A distant face that shines --- I am the echo of your past

Black Night by Deep Purple - The whole song is relevant to Jackie. 

The Queen Of Hearts by Ezra Furman - See this post. 

Destroyer by The Kinks - Again, relevant to Jackie. --- She said, man, there's really something wrong with you / One day you’re gonna self-destruct / You're up, you're down, I cant work you out / You get a good thing going then you blow yourself out / Silly boy, ya self-destroyer / Silly boy, ya self-destroyer / Silly boy, you got so much to live for / So much to aim for, so much to try for / You blowing it all with paranoia / You're so insecure, you self-destroyer

Serve The Servants by Nirvana - Teenage angst has paid off well / Now I'm bored and old / Self-appointed judges judge / More than they have sold --- Serve the servants / That legendary divorce is such a bore / As my bones grew they did hurt / They hurt really bad / I tried hard to have a father / But instead I had a dad / I just want you to know that I / Don't hate you anymore / There is nothing I could say / That I haven't thought before

Heart-Shaped Box by Nirvana - Just. This song is so good. And can be very easily applied to JS. --- She eyes me like a Pisces when I am weak / I've been locked inside your heart-shaped box for weeks / I've been drawn into your magnet tar pit trap / I wish I could eat your cancer when you turn black --- Meat-eating orchids forgive no one just yet / Cut myself on angel hair and baby's breath / Broken hymen of Your Highness, I'm left black / Throw down your umbilical noose so I can climb right back --- I got a new complaint / Forever in debt to your priceless advice

Rape Me by Nirvana - Self-explanatory. 

All Apologies by Nirvana - What else should I write? / I don't have the right / What else should I be? / All apologies --- I wish I was like you / Easily amused / Find my nest of salt / Everything is my fault / I'll take all the blame / Aqua Sea Foam shame / Sunburn freezer burn / Choking on the ashes of her enemy

Corduroy by Pearl Jam - This song is amazing and I could write so much about this and how it fits not just Jackie but Hyde too. If you listen to the song and follow along with the lyrics, you’ll see what I mean. 

State Of Love And Trust by Pearl Jam - State of love and trust as I busted down the pretext / Sin still plays and preaches, but to have an empty court, uh huh / And the signs are passin', grip the wheel, can't read it / Sacrifice receiving the smell that's on my hands, hands, yeah / And I listen for the voice inside my head / Nothin', I'll do this one myself

Once by Pearl Jam - I admit it / What's to say / I'll relive it / Without pain / Backstreet lover on the side of the road / I got a bomb in my temple that is gonna explode --- Once upon a time / I could control myself / Ooh, once upon a time / I could lose myself, yeah / Oh, try and mimic / What's insane / I am in it / Where do I stand? --- Ooh, once upon a time / I could love myself, yeah / Once upon a time / I could love you

Release by Pearl Jam - Again, relevant to Jackie. Just look at the lyrics. 

Black by Pearl Jam - Like Corduroy, if you follow the lyrics while listening you’ll see why I put this on the playlist. 

Paranoid Eyes by Pink Floyd - You believed in their stories of fame, fortune and glory / Now you're lost in a haze of alcohol soft middle age / The pie in the sky turned out to be miles too high / And you hide, hide, hide / Behind brown and mild eyes

The Thin Ice by Pink Floyd - Again, Jackie. And again, just pay attention to the lyrics. 

Stargazer by Rainbow - I will be completely honest with you, I chose this mostly for the title. The song is kind of a stretch, but if you look at the lyrics a certain way, the wizard is kind of Hyde. Anyway, I kept it on the list for the chorus(es): Where is your star? / Is it far, is it far, is it far? / When do we leave? / I believe, yes, I believe

Still I’m Sad by Ritchie Blackmore’s Rainbow - See the stars come fallin down the sky / Gently passing, they kiss your tear drops dry / See the wind come, softly blow / Your hair from your face --- For myself my tears just fall in the dust / As I search in the night and find they're lost / See the wind come gently blow / Time into my heart / And the rain comes falling down / While were apart / Still I'm sad

Unspoken by The Dead Daisies - Mostly because the lyrics fit, also there is a Degenerate Matter song with this same title --- In the oneness now you realize / Lost your compass and I sympathize / In the darkness now you fade to grey / In the stillness you will make your way / Oh, I can hear you breathe / Unspoken, you gotta let go / Unspoken, you're out in the glow / Unbroken, you let it all flow

Like No Other (Bassline) by The Dead Daisies - Don't breathe in the air on the dark side / It's a lie, you will go insane / You fall down, down deep in the landslide / Who am I, who am I? / You lose your head in the music / Move up and kiss the sky / You slip away and refuse it / Do or die, do or die

Come Alive by The Dead Daisies - Come alive / You can start over / Now take me by the hand and come alive / Gotta break your malady / You got to live your life free / So come alive

Resurrected by The Dead Daisies - Stare in the mirror, lines on my face, yeah / I wonder where the time has gone / It's been a long hard road out from the grave / But I keep a moving on / I been up, down, turned around / Kicked hard to the ground / Keep a coming back again / From the ashes, from the flame / I'm here to light the fire again / I'm back, resurrected

Paranoid by Black Sabbath - Sadly, this is yet another Jackie song. --- I need someone to show me / The things in life that I can't find / I can't see the things that make / True happiness, I must be blindMake a joke and I will sigh / And you will laugh and I will cry / Happiness I cannot feel / And love to me is so unreal

If you have questions about the songs or don't get why I put them on, feel free to ask!

[sole-cuore-amore-e-droga]

Cyprus brings shampoo to Rotterdam 2021

I FELL IN LOVE, I FELL IN LOVE, I GAVE MY HEART TO PRODUCT PLACEMENT.

Though I do see where they come from. Everyone from Panik Records, from her to Eleni Foureira featuring Perfectil on the “Fuego” MV, gonna need that sweet sweet money all of the time. But has Greece’s economy not really recovered for them to constantly need to advertise products on music videos or am I just losing my mind overthinking things?

Eitherway, this review may or may not appear before or during their rehearsal day, so see how do I make a fool of myself by trying to estimate Cyprus’s chances!

ARTIST & ENTRY INFO

This year we have a 26 year old Elena Tsagrinou from Greece here (the way they were last represented by a somewhat Cypriot on 2017?). She did music early on in her age, also participated in the Greek version of Got Talent. Though, before breaking out as a solo pop sensation in ways you cannot imagine, she used to be in a pop band OtherView. Strangely enough, I’ve heard of them because of this song below but I could’ve NEVER estimated it was her and never could have I predicted she would land herself a Eurovision entrance all alone:

The band has had quite a few successful enough singles with her, she did some music shows participation and hosting, her band switched labels midway through (guess into which one they eventually landed, hint: some of the screenshots in this review have this peculiar logo), and in 2018, she had to “withdraw” from the group to go ahead and pursue the aforementioned solo career, somewhat. She continued doing a lot of shows (particularly seen on the MAD music channel related events), and doesn’t have as many singles as she had with OtherView right now, but she’s possibly well on her way to blossom as an artiste. Some of those reading (lol who am I kidding who even reads these) may be familiar with this little song of hers:

You’ve heard way too many things about “El Diablo”, her 2021 entry, so idk if I feel like explaining the technical side of things all by myself or you already know everything. But in these reviews I repeat everyone else regardless, so let me just say that “El Diablo” is an obvious pop song, with a lot of Swedish related touches to it, because at least one person on this song also worked on Alvaro Estrella’s Melodifestivalen 2021 entry that glorifies at least a handful of the same cliches that “El Diablo” does lyrically. Dear Eurovision lyricists, you can use more foreign languages than Spanish for your obligatory foreign language incorporations, thanks~

Although I’m not sure about whether it is more Laurell Barker’s fault as much as it is Joker Thörnfeldt’s, but it’s easier to blame them equally, because the former probably came up with “ta-taco, tamale” and the latter couldn’t get enough of the word “mamacita” they used for the aforementioned Melodifestivalen entry. Anyway, the lyrics, from what I get, is that she’s in love with an eeeevil guy because he’s sweet talking her, they do some sexy stuff together (presumably), pour sauce on their bodies for no explicit reason other than “obligatory-foreign-reference-itis”, she’s breaking the rules (and idk if it was “mama-mamacita” telling her to do it), got the icy edges that the spicy is melting for her, throws eyelashes on the floor when she’s got no wigs to throw (but that doesn’t matter because even without a wig, she can flip her hair and make him look twice), and there’s as much as you need to know about the song’s lyrics as I feel like I should show to you, because eh. Eurovision has suffered from worse cookie-cutter lyricism through the years, “El Diablo” is painful but not the worst.

REVIEW

But I do like the song somewhat!

“El Diablo” was initially compared to Lady Gaga’s “Bad Romance” upon release, and I totally kind of see why, because in all the right spots you can absolutely hum over the chorus to that over the one of “El Diablo”’s, it just exchanges gratuitous French translation of one of the already sung lines on the bridge for obligatory inserted Spanish terms just for the sake of being trendy with the crowds of the nowadays, because as we learned nothing these days, having a lot of Spanish in your song is apparently trendy. And Elena does nothing absolutely batshit insane on the music video (other than advertising) - no lapdance for the devil Lil Nas X style, no being forced into a bath, no person to sell her body to (not even the titular diablo), no dancers that rise out of their Christian sleep pods. Just Elena singing behind lots and lots of trash bin bag wrap.

Honestly the bigger issue for me than the song being “sAtAnIc because it is called “the DEVIL!!!”, aside from the lyrics, is that the MV does not come with any forewarning whatsoever for the people that are seizure prone when they see strobe lights? And that happens for some extended periods of this clip? I know you are indulged in your advertising and good for you but don’t just care for the companies that pay you if you use their products, do care about people’s wellbeings too, sometime.

But enough about the MV.

The song is decently sounding. It has interesting uses of what sounds like hi-hats during the verses (e.g.: a moment when this happens for the first time on the song is after Elena sings “tonight we’re gonna burn in a par-tY” the second time, and then there’s something that sounds soaring - that’s what I think that the hi-hats did.). It also has some sort of a synth piano on the second verse to boost the song’s sound rather than just relying on 808s and beats. I quite like how the chorus is so instant somehow, idk why but it is for me. Might have a gripe with that childish choir singing “I LOVE EL DIAB-LO” in the tune of standard kindergarten children teasing tune (aka ”NA NA NA BOO BOO”), as well as the constant breathing sounds, but they don’t distract me from generally “fucking” with this song, lol. It’s just that likeable imo.

I just can’t cope with the fact that Cyprus can’t seem to dare to go at least a little bit original with their song, yanno? Ever since 2019 they were called out as being a ripoff of something... hell, everyone since 2016 except Eleni was a ripoff of something. Alter Ego? “Somebody Told Me” by The Killers. Gravity? “Human” by Rag’n’Bone Man. Replay? “Fuego” itself. Running? “Lose Control”, Meduza x Becky Hill. Now we have a Lady Gaga song wannabe that even caught the attention of another singer that the music video looked like it was ripping off, and the Eurofandom caught up in hysterics:

Heads up, folks: not EVERY short haired blonde with messy hair, silvery tank top and shortpants that writhes on the floor is a Zara Larsson clone. And I don’t know who stirred controversy first - her or the fans - but this was ridiculous to see, even for me.

Although for a second I saw where they were coming from.

Now see why I want Cyprus to go original for at least once? Because I guess that the way “Fuego” was conjured up, it brought Cyprus so much success with how the package was, how Eleni sold it, and how the song sounded. You know the first thing of everything potentially going wrong for you later on is if you find the formula you’ve been looking for, but you proceed to be using the exact same formula that got you this far in the first place, without realizing what was it in the formula that you needed to bank on to further to make it click, but instead proceed to copy everything like it was an easy, fill-in-the-blank form. You can and should do better than that.

Though that doesn’t stop me from ranking it 11th this year.

Thing is, I really expected it to be the one female pop song of the year I would have the constant impulsive need to replay, replay, yeah. Ever since the chaotic entry MV drop that occured on some random-ass Cypriot TV show where three guys talked a lot (and before that, we got a cooking show), and kept growing increasingly agitated that no one is liking their show, until at some point one of them erupted in “IN TWU MEENETS... EL DIABLO... ON UR TEEVEE”; I was really devastated I couldn’t be able to break the replay button because of Panik Records deciding to rather benefit for themselves to have the MV on their app, then on Youtube, THEN on Spotify in that order. So I listened to a few video rips that I received / had for myself, and it was a fun time... until I realized the desire to play it declined much faster than I thought it would when it actually dropped on Spotify, oops. So I can’t really let myself rank it higher, when there are at least some catchier female bangers with better overall sound, better lyrics, and better multiple-replay factor. But I can’t really settle for a much lower rank for her than 11th, anyway. Girlbanger 2021 power y’all!

That and vocally she’s actually not that bad, even if she has shown up singing her song drunk in a handful of Instastories for some event of some party house, and at the time people overreacted, but I think that at least a large audience of those same people has collectively dropped their “Cyprus obvious NQ” talks come the pre-parties.

Panik Records, when will you put the yeehaw El Diablo on streaming? Now THAT’S a version that has replay value, and I might never get bored of it instead :(

Approval factor: Yeah, there exists some for me in it Follow-up factor: CyBC did one of the nastiest in terms of following up their 2020 arc of “Bring Your Artist Back for Revenge Year” that was 2021, straight up ditching Sandro probably right after Eurovision was done (well it doesn’t look like the case because CyBC published a statement later, but I sense that it might’ve been the case), because “Running” wasn’t doing so well with the “YAS QUEEN” branch of the Eurofandom. Which sucks because Sandro would’ve actually been down to be asked again for Eurovision, as he revealed it to NikkieTutorials during many of her interviews with last year’s class of. “Agreement from both parties” my ass, unless Sandro secretly realized that like Tom Leeb, he was too busy for 2021 Eurovision, which I doubt. It actually sucks imo that Sandro can probably be considered as even a forever non-returnee, because Sandro is more of German roots than Greek, and if we learned anything about the Mukuchyangate 2021, is that Germany will never send a returning artist, at least one that didn’t represent their country first and foremost. So Greece could only ask Sandro nicely only if the contest comes on to Germany, I guess? How do you think they decided on getting Stefania, who still ever so regularly appears on Dutch music, to represent them this year? So on that regard the follow-up from CyBC stinks, eventhough I think that entrywise the follow-up was rather decent, at least in the usual Cypriot way of sending female pop (going from “Replay” to “El Diablo” which I like more than “replay”), and eventhough I’m falling out of the hype for Cyprus I once used to have, their 2015-2021 entry streak had entries that I largely feel positive for overall, so in that regard, the follow up is decent. Qualification factor: In a year of Semi 1 Female Banger Slaughterhouse, Elena goes out in my eyes with several scratches, but not enough to completely kill her chances. If anything, given the divisiveness of Ireland’s rehearsals, Elena is likely to obliterate any last memory of Lesley Roy any first time viewer has ever had, except for her stage graphics. Even if Elena’s staging will not be as mindblowingly cartooney as the last, once a bop comes on, everyone forgets the slower song and gives into the bop, at least that’s how the draws work when choosing what insignificant song to put on 2nd and wedge in between the opening banger and some lesser-key banger, right? I know that “Replay” barely qualified, but I find “El Diablo” slightly better, and it all goes well, it will barely just as qualify as well. Because in a Semi 1 Female Banger Slaughterhouse, she can’t be the losing one, really.

INTERNAL CORNER

I already told everything that was noteworthy about Elena’s journey in previous sections, honestly.

• That I said that CyBC likely ditched Sandro right after cancellation just like Hooverphonic ditched “Release Me” should they have had a chance to keep or toss their entry. It doesn’t present itself as the case, but I just feel like it is.

• That the song was revealed on a Cypriot talkshow where three dudes were aware that we were waiting for “El Diablo”, trying to throw some gratuitous English our way, hating that we didn’t like our show, but promising that “El Diablo” MV will be shown in “TWU MEENETS”, which wasn’t but worth the wait eh?

• That people were cackling at Zara Larsson joining in the talks of Elena’s MV having aspects of her own song’s MV plagiarized.

• That Elena performed her song in a private-ish event when drunk and having heaps of fun and people cried that it was gonna be a NQ.

And do I really need to elaborate about the local Cypriot church scandal? It just so happened that a bunch of people read into a song’s title so much, thought it was rude of their country to sing about the devil (eventhough the bigger offenses made here is the gratuitous Spanish more than anything), and hoped that the broadcaster will disqualify the very song they okayed to be internally chosen because they are displeased with it - and if it’s not disqualified, they even threatened to burn the headquarters down. No, really. That’s like the most amusing part of that whole spectacle. Imagine burning a broadcaster headquarters down for a song... if I did it for every favourite of mine that lost to other broadcasters, the broadcasters would run out of locations to rent, because everything else good is pre-occupied or the ashes of their lost headquarters staring back at them.

Imagine being toxicly Christian in 2021... How long until Elena’s face gets photoshopped on the main protagoniste of The Unholy?

ANY LAST WORDS?

Even if I’m with this song, part of me kind of wants me to fail to make Cyprus realize that their formula is starting to wear thin and they got to be somewhat of a versatile nation in Eurovision if they want to be on the radar of not just one specific niche. But then again, they learned nothing when they flopped with Tamta, because she sneakily qualified as opposed to failing even harder than Tulia, ah well. Will they ever learn?

But why would I openly wish this to a top 11 song of mine, oh dear. Good luck Elena, may God be on your side, I guess. :P