#if i gain 20 pounds
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"Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" is obviously an insane statement (which Kate Moss herself has apologized for) for all the reasons we know, but also because "how skinny feels" is actually brain dead. Like you know how you can't think if you haven't eaten lunch? Is that really the way you want to feel, no matter how many compliments you get? Is outside validation that important to you?
#idk i just feel like people don't use their brains#probably because they aren't eating#if i gain 20 pounds#50 pounds#100 pounds#but i am able to actually use my brain to do useful work#then that is worth it#tw ed#tw disordered eating
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I may be running out of coping mechanisms but I'll die before I add caffeine to that list
Anyway happy 165! Only 200 days more to get to my goal✨️✨️
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I still can't believe I let 20 whole pounds sneak up on me like that 👀
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i need to start lifting weights. i would be so hot as a muscle mommy.
#i spent my adolescence yearning for heroin chic and now i’m like. ok but my 20 pound niece needs to be thrown in the air i gotta get some ga#gains
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The De Completionist Checklist Part 14
1964
Note on the dates: I will mostly be going by when a show/movie was shot rather than its release date. Variety Magazine will be given first priority.
My score: 2 / 3
Need To Find: Slattery’s People - Question: Which One Has The Privilege?
Favorite Movie: Town Tamer
Favorite TV Show: N/A
Favorite Quote (Exchange):
Conder: You go tell him [Rosser] to look at that fancy horse of his in exactly 10 minutes.
Guy (De): I’m not an errand boy.
<Very next scene>
Guy (De) to Rosser: That horse of yours, better go take a look at it.
<Which is funny enough but then>:
Rosser: What’s wrong with him?
Guy (De): How do I know I’m no horse doctor.
#deforest kelley#de completionist checklist#de was still filming Where Love Has Gone Jan-Mar#black spurs#how did those two jailbirds miss?#kill rory there the movie would have ended#probably would've been better if it had...zzz#de has a dramatic death though#town tamer#just gets his ass kicked all through the movie#he deserved every bit of it the idiot#killed off screen#michael landon was de's stuntman in the hotel fight#you can totally tell lol#hair gets darker fuller#gains 20 pounds instantly#“you want some of what I gave her?”
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I think I lost so much fat on my body that any light pressure just like… hurts. There’s no cushion. I scratch my leg and there’s just muscle and bone. My face too. Just fucking sucks.
#the weight loss is from being extremely sick for over a week#I lost 20 pounds in a short period of time#barely have gained any of it back and haven’t regained any of the fat
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TW ED MENTION!!!
I know I said it before but I fist yall not one of the things that has helped me the most the past few months has been picturing Eric Cartman telling me to get the fuck over myself every time I have urges to do some shit I shouldn’t be doing. Snaps me right out, man. “It’s a goddamn sandwich you stupid ginger bitch calm down or I’ll kick you right in the nuts” thank you Cartman.
#bullying yourself as Cartman works okay#I’m officially weight restored (woo) bc I rip on my ed for being stupid in a Cartman voice#my favorite abrasive fuckwad#PCE lore sorry#let me be clear I’ve had my setbacks (we ain’t talkin abt the head injury last month) but 5 months into recovery I’ve gained 20 pounds!#perks of working in a drs office now I can check shit and ask questions between appointments with my actual dr#I’m thanking Cartman idc it works
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ive already lost 10 pounds living without the black mold 😭😭😭😭
#weight gain is a mold toxicity symptom#ive been too scared to weigh myself but my partners have both lost 10-20 pounds as well#ao i was like well maybe ill check...#and thank god im back at what i was a year and a half ago 😭😭😭#not that weight gain is bad its just rlly not healthy for my body specifically#especially since it was the mold making me gain weight and not my life style 😭😭😭😭
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Finally got a dr appointment to see what’s wrong with me and I’m so nervous and excited
#weight discussion tw#like I know I don’t talk about it a lot directly#but I have gained probably 10-20 pounds a year since I started recovery#which was incredibly good and important in the beginning#but now does not feel normal#like /anything/ I’ve tried to lose weight doesn’t work#even those fad diets that knock off 20 pounds you gain right back? just makes me not gain weight for a minute#truly the only time I lost weight in adulthood was the few months working at an understaffed target doing drive up while in grad school#body in pain 24/7 from running around 20k+ steps a shift w no time to eat or do anything but work and school#and my lovely parent didn’t decide to clue me in that the overweight women in my family#are not just lazy/can’t stick to a diet#they ALL have PCOS (or had all the symptoms but they happened too long ago for proper diagnosis)#so as scary and stressful as this is#finally starting on the journey to that possible diagnosis#or at least to give some direction to taking proper care of my body#bc anything I got hasn’t worked yet lol
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Me: I'm not even in pain this month period week is going to be a good week for me!
Me 5 minutes later: [experiencing every emotional reaction from the past 5-7 years at once] damn why does all my clothing look bad on me now
#i can't trust my judgement 100% on this but i'm pretty sure i'm right#it's not even that i'm upset i gained 7 or 10 pounds this year because a lot of my stuff was too big for me previously#but it's also that i am no longer between the ages of 19 and 22 which is when i bought a lot of this stuff#now i need to go to a wedding but the slacks i own fit weird the dresses look like they belong to someone different#i don't have a blouse that looks good with the slacks#the one dress that doesn't make me look like someone i don't know is way too short at this point#meanwhile i don't know how any of it is supposed to fit because i spent most of my 20s working at various grocery stores#jeans and a collared shirt were fine there#going through a wardrobe crisis which is an identity crisis in disguise#i don't know what kinds of clothing i like. or job i want. or how i would want to act around friends irl#i'm having strong feelings about what i don't want but ?
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Sorry for what I said while I was on t.
#it will happen again#I got very sick last month and was on steroids for it#God I was insufferable#I was very much roided up#also I kinda can’t believe it’s been so long since I’ve come out. I’m such a boy!#and I’m not scrawny anymore I really beefed up this winter gained 20 whole pounds
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just crossed over 4000 calories for the day and feeling crazy about that.
#puck speaks#wg#stuffing#wg txt#i don't normally eat that much even with my very physically active job but i was lounging around today and just couldn't stop myself from#getting there. a little treat for myself on one of my only days off.#my fitness app telling me i'll gain 20 pounds in five weeks if i eat like this every day.... makes my body feel crazy.
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do you ever get embarrassed at the idea of ppl irl noticing youve let urself go?
I was thinking about this just this morning! I think the answer is... no. I'm very confident and comfortable in my body (and honestly only moreso with the added weight; I feel hotter than ever, frankly).
#i mean we'll see in 20 pounds or whatever (my gain isn't all that pronounced currently)#but i feel like i'll still feel this way
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They should invent an exercise that doesn't fucking suck
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I need to lose like 25 to 30 pounds so I can ride millennium force regularly again
#it feels like a lot to lose but i dont think it is idk#weight loss mention#i want to be fat and a millennium force regular and in all fairness ill still be plenty fat if i lose as much as im wanting#i just want to be lazy and fat hope this helps#sorry zoloft mademe gain 20 pounds in one year. as if its my fault#idk how much i actually weigh rn but i cant be much more or less than i weighed last time i did know
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#i never post about this kind of stuff but just to vent.#i’m having body image issues again#i was pretty skinny my whole life until later high school & then i just gained like 20-30 pounds because my metabolism slowed#i feel like if you all actually saw me you’d say im fine. im technically five pounds overweight for my height but my weight fluctuates#a lot of my clothes are tight on me and i keep getting bigger/baggy clothes because i feel comfortable covering up#(though that’s somewhat a gender thing as well)#i feel like people think certain things when they look at me even if they probably don’t#when i see someone cute i think they wouldn’t be interested in me not just because of my weight but also my face/hair/etc#i want to lose like ten pounds at least. that’s it. but I have a hard time with that#because i like food and don’t like working out tbh. even though i can restrict my food when needed (healthily)#i can’t even reread the hoo books because it’s all just ‘x character was a fat fucking idiot while y character was skinny & attractive’#i’m sick of the kind of world around me and how this is how im gonna feel for the rest of my life and it’s gonna get worse#everyone in every tv show ever is so skinny or built or sometimes the token fat character but the diversity of bodies in media is not good#and i don’t think anything badly of anyone overweight. it’s just me#tw vent
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