#if i ever write stuff with her
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👀woe, yuusona upon ye👐
Meet Lou Tang, the Ramshackle Prefect, Beast Tamer of Night Raven College, the Magicless Student from Another World, et cetera, et cetera. (yes, tagalog speakers i see you but her choice of name will be explained waaay under the cut) credits to this picrew
Appearance:
Lou has two ways of wearing the uniform: a) on days where she feels like putting effort into her appearance, she'll wear a tie and the vest, but on low-energy days b) she'll only throw on the blazer. She also prefers to keep the polo’s sleeves folded up to her elbows. (She tried wearing gloves for her first day on campus, but ended up hating it. If she gets points docked for not wearing the complete uniform, then so be it😤)
She has long, wavy dark brown hair, usually tied into twintails. The height of her twintails tends to be dictated by how much energy she starts her day. Which is kind of ironic, considering Lou has a sensitive scalp and gets prone to tension headaches when wearing high twintails.
Lou has dark brown eyes, no light in them (dead as a tuna, sorta like Naho Saenoki from Corpse Party), but the rest of her face is expressive enough that it tends to go unnoticed (unless the other party is really emotionally-observant.)
Body-wise, Lou is already pretty skinny, but she also has long limbs++fingers. Which leads to people thinking that she needs to be given extra food (unless it can be stored as leftovers, don't. Girlie is not someone you bring to a buffet unless you enjoy losing money). She also has bad posture, which adds to her homely vibes (but that's if you put her in a chair or in front of a computer, so yes, she is shrimpy🤧)
Expressions-wise, Lou falls into the category of having subtitles on her face. It's so easy to read what she's feeling. (Yes, that also means she turns red very easily as someone who gets flustered 1000% of the time. She could be Riddle's cousin or sumn) It partly has to do with her being a theater kid, and more of [Redacted for spoilers]
General Personality:
People-pleaser. Tends to match the energy of whoever she's conversing and let them lead the conversation. (Which can come across as being a brown noser, especially if that person has a higher position over her like as an elder or authority figure)<-SEAsian culture of respect tingz😔✊
But under that facade, she's a nerd at heart. Things like: superstitions, cats, video games, musicals. It takes someone being a friend* for her to actively talk about her interests.
Non-confrontational. (Very much to her detriment) Another SEAsian-ism tying into her people-pleaser tendencies. Though, in her mind, things always go smoother when people aren’t at each other’s throats. This is also kind of why she also tends to gravitate more towards the calm and diplomatic people of the NRC cast. (Wow these vice housewardens are so nice <- girlie's thoughts 0.5 seconds before realizing izza prank)
*Because she puts on a "friendly" front around 98% of people she meets, she seems like an extravert (a consequence of her own making). She is the complete opposite and always needs to crash at some point to recharge. [This is only one of her many facades, she has very few people that she considers true friends.]
*Unless you're friends with her or just in her vicinity when she thinks she's alone, she says a lot of snarky and out-of-pocket shit.
Being a theater kid™, she tends to make semi-accurate snap judgments towards people and creates a sort of script to follow when interacting with them. Of course, this comes across as her being two-faced, but again, this is for that yummy juicy smooth interpersonal relationships climate she desperately wants to have in her social life. Especially considering her family [redacted for irrelevance].
Which leads to another thing about her: Lou has little trust in people. Especially in a place like NRC which dredges up a lot of unsavory memories of when she was younger. In her mind, acting like a clown means she's "earning being laughed at on her own terms."
Misc. Information:
Class 1-A. Lou would actually take Ace’s seat as student no. 25. Pretty convenient that all three of them are in the same row, and in the back of the class. Not convenient that they all got branded with a troublemaker reputation because of the chandelier incident.
Left-handed, but doesn’t bring it up. If she can adjust with using her right, then everything’s good. (Someone please tell her to speak up, she needs to be brave for once🤧)
Initially signed up for a performing arts club (either theater or choir), but chickened out of auditions. She’s a big appreciator of the arts, but has intense performance anxiety. So, she’s with Grim doing whatever they do in the Gourmet Club. At some point in the story, she thinks if she should’ve tried joining the Film Studies Club… (if only she didn’t get so intimidated by Vil Schoenheit)
Her best class is Arts. Maybe Musicology too, but that’s because she can find the energy to work really hard at it in spite of her lack of innate talent.
Her worst class might be Enigmics or Potionology/Alchemy (Math and pseudo-cooking, her biggest weaknesses).
Sorta bilingual, but to be honest, most of her Tagalog usage is just for curses and swearing. Or for being very emotionally-vulnerable, which has yet to happen.
Lou Tang is not her real name. It’s actually just the word ‘lutang’ (meaning ‘to float,’ but it connotes someone who’s absent-minded and ditzy, in a derogatory sense) but stretched into a sort of name. Like that one scene in Barbie and the Musketeers
[Upon her arrival to NRC, she clocked that Dire Crowley was not human and gave a fake name. Even if they presented themselves as a kind and gracious figure, you wouldn’t give your real name to someone of the Faefolk, right?]
tagging the peeps who enabled me: @viperwhispered @twstgo @crystallizsch
#twst oc#twisted wonderland oc#twst yuusona#twisted wonderland#dellet-writings#dellet-ort#this wudve gotten too long if i put in her relationships to the nrc ensemble#ill make it a separate post#twst#if i ever write stuff with her#it might end up being loosely connected drabbles#and not a fully laid out longfic (girlie does not have the brainpower)
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"it's just me."
you barely get a chance to roll onto your back before soonyoung's already climbing onto the bed and somewhat on top of you and your blankets, and it's only seconds later that he crashes. it's far from the first time this has happened (soonyoung is clingy and cuddly, especially when he's sleepy), but he manages to knock the wind out of you nonetheless. he rests his head on your chest, and you wiggle an arm out to curl around him as best as you can in your semi-trapped position.
"soonyoung--"
"just go back to sleep," he murmurs. "everything's fine."
you stroke his hair, thumb dipping down to graze his cheek at one point. "soonie--"
"i mean it," he says, eyes peering up in the low light to see yours. "i'm fine. just need to nap." his hand finds yours, and he wraps your arm around him as he snuggles in. he plants a kiss against your chest before resting his head against it again, eyes fluttering shut. "you can rest a little longer, too."
you settle back down after a moment, arms wrapped around soonyoung as you shut your eyes again. sometimes you swear this tiger is a teddy bear, but regardless of which he is, he's yours.
#nonranghaes.thoughts#seventeen drabbles#seventeen fluff#seventeen x reader#hoshi x reader#hoshi fluff#kwon soonyoung x reader#kwon soonyoung fluff#nonranghaes.svt#hi sorry i just. needed to write something short n soft#tw for medical stuff in the tags but i need to call hospice abt a catheter bc shes... getting weaker ultimately#which. i dont know if i should be Worried or if this is normal for someone in her condition yknow?#we've started tracking how much she eats bc shes never rly ate much like. Ever. and its hard to know when shes fully pulling back from food#most of the time though its just... quiet. she just sleeps a lot. i dont know what to make of it...#anyway sorry for the small vent here im just... getting through it all ig#i need a soonyoung to cuddle with and to help me feel like i can make it through this
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My sister made a good point, she said, "Why does Fiddleford have to be a vampire? What if he was a ghost that haunted Stan instead?" And honestly that's a really good idea! Fidds is gonna stay a vampire in my au, but here's a small taste of ghost Fidds (I was being lazy :P)
Oh and here's a drawing of Fidds I got my sister to draw 🙏 as you can see, artistic talent runs in the family 🙂↕️
#in her defense she's never drawn on a tablet before#the pressure sensitivity is difficult to work around when you're used to paper and stuff#cole's art#art#gravity falls#fiddleford mcgucket#fiddleford hadron mcgucket#ghost fiddleford#maybe I'd write fanfic of ghost fidds and werewolf stan but I don't think I'd ever draw it#if i do draw it it'll be one off#<- the words of a person desperately not trying to start a new AU#gravity falls halloween au
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me: finally accepting theres a good chance im autistic and starting to work up the courage to ask my parents to see if i could get a diagnoses but being scared to
my mom: do you ever think you have adhd? if you want to do a screening for add next time your at the doctors you can
me:
#for context im terrified of being the person who sees stuff online and diagnosis themselves and then is wrong#which is why it took me so long to accept im —probably— autistic (bc now i have done research and stuff for it)#and id see adhd things that were relatable but i felt i related more to the autism + self diagnosing both felt weird (for me not in general#but now like. my mom is willing to accept i might have add??#(there was a long talk in between her asking if i ever thought i had it and her saying i could get a screening where we both agreed that#—if i did have it— i didnt have the hyperactive part. hence the add vs adhd thing)#and now that kinda through off my plans because like. what if i do also had adhd. or something#so yeah small crisis woo#i need to actually look i to symptoms and stuff for adhd though#because im not saying anything til i know more about it and if i actually do have a lot of the things#but this also gives me a chance go write about the autism things as well bc i told my mom i would look into the adhd#so now i can hopefully find a way to bring that up#ive mentioned that autism is a spectrum recently which i didnt think she knew before#so progress i guess#wow long rant in the tags whoops#jasper’s posts#moots have some jaz lore i guess
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I’ve gotta admit as much as I know Darabella is a flawed ship (and some of the ppl who are anti for it have legit criticisms I love y’all for pointing it out cause it frustrates the hell out of me too trust) they’ll always just kind of be it for me.
Because as much as it was an “I can fix him” trope, as much as Rosabella could be selfish and Daring’s flaws got cranked up to 1000, she was also the first person to look at him after his destiny, the thing he dedicated his life to, failed, when people were questioning him as a prince and putting pressure on his and Apple’s relationship and tell him that, like, maybe it would be alright? Maybe this wasn’t his destiny, and maybe that was okay.
And the part that really gets me? She’s the first person after this happens to tell him that it doesn’t matter what’s on the outside, which as much as you can like other Daring ships or him whatever he desperately needed to hear. Not even cause he was selfish, that’s not what I’m saying, but bc he placed his whole identity on this image that people concocted for him based on him appearing the perfect prince. He was handsome, he was talented, and he was handsome! So who cares about him as a person?
Idk man. You spend four seasons (I watch the specials on Netflix so that’s why four idk if it’s three to some ppl or whatever tho) watching him be praised for his looks, watching girls fawn over him, and of course he enjoys it so nobody really questions how much he enjoys it. And then you get this girl, this girl who owes him nothing, this girl who (contrary to popular belief apparently) has a life of her own and people she cares about outside of him, and she’s nice to him. And she’s the first person after everything happens to just be nice to him, for the sake of being nice. Something about that will always hit different for me
#it’s her seeing him as more than the perfect prince that he’s been told he has to be his whole life#and maybe she doesn’t approach that perfectly sure but also maybe she’s human and a teenager and she’ll fuck up and make mistakes#but the foundation of their entire relationship is that moment of reaching out and connection#and just saying i’m here with you. i don’t know you that well and i don’t care about you that much and i have a million reasons not to be#but i’m here for you anyway. because you matter and i don’t know if anyone’s told you that yet. and maybe#idk. maybe you need to hear it#anyway sorry i’m not trying to start shit i’ve just seen so many ppl shitting on them in this fandom#and some of the critiques i agree w! i’m not saying they were written perfectly there’s a ton i would change abt their writing if i could#(which i do. through fanfic)#but i just wanted to offer a reason i personally attached to them among all the ppl ranting against#if anyone wants to present their own opinions (RESPECTFULLY) tho#i’d be happy to have a conversation abt it! i love talking abt stuff like this feel free to leave rants in my notes guys#ever after high#eah#rosabella beauty#daring charming#darabella
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Do we think odysseus started pranking Athena and her temples at some point? Because I do. He argued that it was good for sneaking and evading training. And you know what Athena couldn't argue that. Her chasing odysseus across the island was good training.
#Odysseus#Athena#Epic the musical#Yes this does go along with my other post about how Athena is with odysseus vs. Telemachus#After the fourth time Athena yanked odysseus from his bed at 3 am to drop him into the depths of shark infested ocean#Odysseus didn't even bother going home or drying off once he swam back to shore#He grabbed multiple buckets and filled them with seaweed and sand and crabs and dumped them in the closest temple#The priests are actively sobbing begging throwing up sacrificing because athenas going to kill them#The locals are preparing for dooms day they're going to be cursed so so badly and it's their kings fault#This just in local 15 year old king was seen dumping sea stuff all over athenas temples muttering see how she likes it#The first time Athena was too stunned to do anything she honestly didn't think anybody has had this much audacity before#To desecrated her temples in just a way how would dare who would even think to do that#Odysseus her chosen human apparently#It is admittedly a little funny how freaked out everybody was...not that she would EVER tell odysseus that#It is also coincidentally FOR NO RELATED REASON SHE SWEARS that she slammes odysseus into the palace wall at full strength for the first ti#After all odysseus it's just training what's there to complain about#I might actually have to write out athenas and odysseus's wacky “training” adventures#Odysseus being a rat bastard
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moiraine being the most dramatic bitch tbh whos doing it like her like she set up her entire scene one day ahead got her stage props out on the docks wrote her heartwrenching letters put on her slayest outfit and then went out serving absolute cunt flinging herself against lanfear in front of rand to forever change the trajectory of their lives
#wot spoilers#wot book spoilers#the fires of heaven#wot#wheel of time#sometimes i actually write stuff#i was half joking while reading the chapter ahah what is she up to now is she gonna kill herself in front of him#well.#queen of scheming laying out her most theatrical exit ever
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Something about Sachika's name (幸果) and the kanji for "happiness" (幸) being the first new kanji Shouma learned to write on Earth and the implication that he carefully copied the kanji Sachika first wrote in his sweets diary so he could use it in his episodic farewell letter warms my battered, bruised heart. It's like there's an overlap between Shouma wanting to make other people happy and finding happiness in his human friends. He can't have one without the other, which is further reason for him to stay at Hapipare in the future
#14shyx#kamen rider#kamen rider gavv#kr.gavv: episode 2#i love the episodic farewell letters and shouma's 'how to learn to write kanji' handwriting#i can't wait to get a little collection of screenshots for them :3#btw all of shouma's scenes with sachika were so cuteeeee i already love them#he's so earnest and sweet and she's a bubbling sparkling glass of joy#they kinda remind me of goseiger alata and eri - the most adorable pair ever#there's also stuff i noticed about sachika i.e. she has some deep-seated loneliness/sadness and her natural cheer overcompensates for it#but that's discussion for another post
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Mks angst - existential crisis. his friends being hurt or taken from him. Being abandoned. Failing. Being seen by others the same way they see swk maybe???
Swk angst - just indescribable physical pain being inflicted on him. Loneliness. Losing Mk
Mei angst - familial. Losing mk. (with the samadhi fire it was having a power she couldn't control ig but that was short-lived:( so) not being strong enough maybe???
Pigsy angst - losing his kid. Losing his shop. Being a lazy good for nothing. Being Zhu Bajie
Tang angst - being useless. Being left behind. Being seen as useless by his friends
Sandy angst - becoming violent/blackout rage. Causing harm
#gods i need to write that time travel.Zhu Bajie fic#you ever think about rhe reason why pigsy gets on tangs back a lot for being a freeloader is because he thinks thats the worst possible#thing to be?#hmhm#i gotta say i love how the reincarnated crews issues reflect their past lives it is so much fun#i miss jttw stuff#i dunno im just thinking#monkie kid#im so head empty rn#RAAAAA#just thinking about how to best angst these fools#ig macaque would just be dying he seems p scared of that#anyway yeah these are just notes for myself i wanna write stuff exploring some of this stuff#mei needs more ways to angst her where's the rest of her besides caring for mk and being raaaa fire!!!! friends!!!!!!!#raaaa#i dunno head empty fr good morning i am zzzzzz
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Half of this fic is just me looking for more excuses to put in all the cool women that the show wrote out
Still working on the next chapter for the GOT rewrite from hell, but I had to write a little about how the fuck menstruation works in Westeros (other than "oh you can get married now!" which I refuse to believe is the norm) and also to introduce the Sphinx:
The next morning, Shireen woke up to find blood on her shift and a sharp sort of twist in her stomach, as though she'd swallowed a molten pin. The blood came out easily enough, with frantic scrubbing in the basin, but the pain grew over the course of the morning.
"It's your flowering," said Maester Alleras briskly, when she went to him in a tightly-controlled panic. "How old are you?"
"Fourteen," said Shireen, realizing the date. Her nameday had passed two weeks ago.
"And what do you know of flowering?" he asked, smiling slightly at her blush. "Forgive me, but Northerners have queer ideas of teaching their children about these matters. I do not wish to presume your level of education."
"I know it can last for a week or more," Shireen said, thinking of Mother's cycles, how she would confine herself to her rooms to endure the pain in solitude and prayer. "It's very painful and disgusting, but it allows me to bear my future husband's children and therefore is a gift from the gods."
"Hmm. Well, that is what you were taught, at least," grunted the maester. He got up from his desk, rummaging through the cupboard behind him. He was a tall, skinny young man with the deep brown skin and tightly-coiled hair of a Summer Islander, and shared their fondness for brightly-colored nails: they seemed to dance along the shelves until he plucked out a jar and presented it to her with a flourish. "This will help with the pain, and stop the bleeding after this cycle. People of the North use it a great deal."
"Is it moon tea?" Shireen asked, taking it gingerly and wondering at Maester Alleras's use of the term Northerners, which sounded different from People of the North. Perhaps in the Summer Isles, everyone on Westeros was a Northerner. "Why do they use it so much here?"
"It is," he confirmed, "and as for why..." He shrugged. "I've only just arrived in Winterfell, you understand, and as you may have guessed—" this said with another smile— "I was born elsewhere. But from what I've gathered, they must be careful when they have children. The North can only feed so many."
Shireen thought of Fire & Blood, which Father had read to her as a child. The Winter Wolves had been a company of Northerners, who had answered Lord Cregan's call to fulfill the Pact of Ice and Fire with Rhaenyra Targaryen. They'd been greybeards who had knowingly marched to their deaths, for such was the custom of the North back then: at the start of each winter, the old men of each keep and castle and holdfast would choose amongst themselves who would go out into the snows. Some would return home in the spring, having endured the cold or escaped it to find their fortunes in southron lands; most would not.
"Put a thimbleful of this into whatever tea you like best," Maester Alleras continued, gesturing at the jar, his fingernails catching the light as it streamed into the rookery. "Once a day, and come back when you need more."
"Shouldn't I ask—" Shireen bit her lip.
But the maester caught her meaning; his eyes narrowed. "Shouldn't you ask your parents? Yes, I suppose you should. But they should be here to be asked, and they should have told you the truth."
"What's the truth?" Shireen asked, instead of admitting that Mother and Father had never told her anything about it. She couldn't imagine either of them even mentioning the subject. All her information had come from books, or from Mother's complaints.
"The truth is that if a cycle is painful and lasts for a week or more, that is the sign of an illness, not the will of a god. The truth is that you may well find it disgusting, but it is merely something our bodies do and should never be a source of disgust or shame to you or anyone else." He glared, though it did not seem directed at her. "And as for 'bearing your future husband's children,' the truth is that they are your children, just as much as his — indeed more so, unless he carries them about for the first nine months after their birth. But you will not be a woman grown for at least another two years, and any man who wishes you to bear children until at least that time is unworthy of your hand or your love." He sat back down, his half-dozen maester's links chiming musically. "Now run along, little princess."
Lady Sansa was just outside the door, with her brother beside her. "See, I told you she smelled funny," Rickon said triumphantly.
Shireen scowled at him. "Shut up." It was kind of him, she supposed, to have worked out that something was wrong and to wait for her outside the maester's chambers. But Rickon Stark was the sort of friend who was difficult to be grateful for.
"Yes, please do, Rickon," Lady Sansa said, pressing a businesslike kiss on the crown of Rickon's head before turning him round by the shoulders and pushing him down the corridor. Rickon protested, but went all the same, and Lady Sansa turned back to Shireen. "Moon tea?" she asked, nodding at the jar.
Shireen resisted the impulse to hide it somehow. It is merely something our bodies do and should never be a source of disgust or shame. "Yes, my lady," she said.
"Come along, then," said Lady Sansa. "I have some excellent tea from the Arbor. How does that sound?"
"Could I have a hot water-skin, too?" Shireen asked, as Lady Sansa looped her arm through hers.
"Of course. And the lemon trees in the greenhouse have given up their first fruits — we'll have lemon cakes for lunch instead of venison." She smiled and Shireen thought that even if Sansa Stark never took another husband or had children of her own, she was still all the mother that the North ever would need.
#Sarella/Alleras in the house!#seriously I love this character so much#I'm writing her here as a cis woman who's pretending to be a man because she wanted to be a maester#however all headcanons are obv valid and it's not like we're ever going to get an answer from Martin about this#also is this a chance to make a joke about how sansa is also 'mother'? MAYBE#anyway#got: bitches get stuff done#game of thrones motherfuckers#also I've seen the fanon around that Stannis read to Shireen as a child and that's why she thinks of it as a love language#which: just kill me#but also Fire & Blood is 100% the shit Stannis would read to a three-year-old
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Arlecchino's whole deal is unbelievable
Arlecchino: Huh I wonder what's causing my weird powers? I can't really worry about that right now tho, I've gotta become King and then kill my "Mother".
*Kills Clervie and "Mother"*
Arlecchino: Huh I wonder why I was able to defeat a Fatui Harbinger when I'm like 17 or so? I can't really worry about that right now tho, I've gotta be in jail and become a Harbinger.
*Is in jail for a while and becomes a Harbinger*
Arlecchino: Huh I wonder why I am-
Pierro: Hey what's up hello, anyways you're descended from the Crimson Moon Dynasty of Khaenri'ah. I'm sure that this is a lot for you to take in so-
Arlecchino: Ok.
Pierro: ...You're just cool with that?
Arlecchino: IDK maybe? I can't really worry about that at the moment, I'm a father now. This orphanage full of children I love (who also are child soldiers and are not allowed to leave or else I'll execute them except maybe now I'm just gonna wipe their memories IDK I'm morally complex) isn't gonna run itself.
*Runs the orphanage/spy recruitment initiative*
Me, the fucking player: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU ARE KHAENRI'AN? WHY WASN'T THIS BROUGHT UP IN YOUR FUCKING QUEST?? OR ANYTHING ELSE????
Arlecchino, talking to me through my phone: I honestly don't know why you care, I'm too busy to give a shit. Anyways, I'm gonna go fight fate itself I guess. I'm sure that I don't share any thematic parallels with any other Khaenri'an characters (particularly as it relates to acting and family angst) and that I haven't made the idea of 'curses' on Khaenri'ans and what they entail even more complicated than they already were. See ya.
#arlecchino#genshin impact#pierro#WHY IS THE GAME FUCKING GLOSSING OVER THE FACT THAT SHE IS KHAENRI'AN?!#Not only that but she is the first Khaenri'an we've met (that we know of) who's from the Crimson Moon Dynasty#I'm so fucking confused#Did Celestia place a DIFFERENT curse on members of the Crimson Moon Dynasty?? Or is this stuff all of them can do???#HELP#She also seems almost...uninterested in the fact that she's descended from Khaenri'ah. Which honestly I think is interesting.#I don't know if I like it yet but when every other Khaenri'ah character has one of their major traits being that they super fucking#care that they are Khaenri'an (whether that be Kaeya with his paranoia/destiny/duty or Dain with his guilt over his failure/desire to#prevent our sibling from fucking with anything too much or whatever the fuck is going on with Pierro)#having a character who is Khaenri'an but doesn't seem to particularly be invested in that part of themself is different#she cares more about the curse and its effects on her then she ever really cares about the Crimson Moon Dynasty or the cataclysm#IDK I think it's neat from a character writing angle. or at least it has the potential to be if the writers do a good job.#But from a 'I like maybe 3 things in this game and one of them is Khaenri'ah' perspective it SUCKSSSSS#That part of the plot is already suffering from chronic live-service storytelling disease where people just straight up don't tell you#shit that they logically SHOULD BE TELLING YOU because the game needs to save plot points to build hype around#so for one of like 4-ish (depending on how much we count Albedo) Khaenri'an major characters to give us literally 1 and 1/2 voicelines#kinda sucks ngl. but again it's also interesting and realistic for Arlecchino and from that angle I like it#she doesn't care about what fate says her place in the world is. she's gonna carve her own and being Khaenri'an isn't relevant to#the life and identity she has built for herself. she isn't the type to look for answers she doesn't need. she's practical and efficient.#at the very least it's better than when Albedo 'I want to find all the world's truths' Kreideprinz doesn't let the audience in on his stuff
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i like watching video essays where people freak out about popular authors who wrote fanfic because like. if that ever happened to me it’d be like “oh she wrote uh. about two characters from a 2004 manga based on the least popular zelda game to the transformative extent that they’re nearly unrecognizable, about herself and the villain from a pokemon spinoff game, about a minor npc from botw/totk, and years before that, catradora.”
#and some way too heavy and serious shit about her beef with religion. like that stuff isn’t even fun#cbiuc the fic that you are…#i don’t think i could ever file off the serial numbers my shit is way too specific#but i’m sure if i published anything it would be in many ways derivative of both beloved media and my fanworks#bc they’re. my writing#i mean put my fics in a blender and take away the media association and basically you just get#morally compromised hero is intrigued by and down bad for the villain with musical theater energy#and they probably make out on a throne#and someone probably spites god#it’s no social network rpf but it’s certainly something
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I think my fic where Xander accidentally becomes a successful novelist (largely without realizing it) is the funniest idea I’ve ever had. This guy started writing little stories to remember their adventures in Sunnydale (his last line in Chosen about “how will anyone even know about this unless we tell them” burrowed itself into my little archivist brain and won’t let go) and posts them online. He unintentionally goes viral. He thinks someone named Simon N. Schuster is leaving him voicemails. He ends up on the New York Times bestseller list.
He doesn’t even realize that everyone else thinks the stories are fiction. Xander is out here writing autobiographical non-fiction but everyone else thinks he’s a weirdly dedicated author that’s really committed to maintaining a Lemony Snicket style pseudonym/persona for the narrator of his novel. There are “Who Is Xander Harris?” articles. No one can dig up much of anything on him because he lived his whole life in a town that got wiped off the map. He keeps rejecting requests for interviews because of his stage fright. At first this drives his publicist absolutely ballistic but it just adds the the air of mystery that’s drumming up book sales so she lets it go.
He only responds to questions over email and only ever responds “in character” as his “novel’s narrator” and this baffles everyone, only adding to the supposed mystery. It’s literally not even Xander actually writing the emails 95% of the time. It’s Dawn. She has appointed herself as “Xander’s representation” even though she doesn’t really know what being someone’s representation means. She printed business cards.
#meanwhile the rest of the scoobies are doing everything in their power to stop this book’s publication#it’s a total comedy of errors on every single front#tagging this so claire can filter it lmao (ily claire)#xander Harris#btvs#buffy the vampire slayer#dawn summers#Dawn’s business cards are maybe the funniest part of this me and I truly think this whole thing is hysterical#xander is letting her take care of all the business stuff which is a huge part of why he has no clue what’s going on with the book ever#but also <3 he is a little bit dumb <3#but also genuinely he just doesn’t care about the business side of things all that much#he really was just writing little stories bc he loves his friends and wanted to remember the times he’s shared with them#and as a way to remember/grieve everything he’s lost. friends. anya. Sunnydale as a whole.#he’s just a little guy who’s so loyal and full of love and thank god Dawn intervened lmao#and now he’s sort of just along for the ride on the publication process#Cristina if you see this is also love you thank you
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The whole discourse about the privacy/secrecy/support thing has been sitting with me for a few days (I mean other than it always does to a certain degree) thanks to all the excellent discussion happening and I know I'm not saying anything that hasn't been said a million times before, but I think what we're seeing and what we're going to learn (e.g. from TTPD) is that it wasn't just the support issue, but how it was shown/handled.
We've all gone out of our way to show that introversion =/= lack of support. Someone can be shy, reserved, etc. and still show up for their partner, whether in public or at home. To chalk any of the differences up to the clash between introversion and extroversion is unfair to folks who count themselves among either tbh.
@thisisctrying said something the other day that hit the nail on the head about how if that support had been offered in private, there very well may not have been a Joever to begin with, or at least not at this point in time. (Sorry for loosely paraphrasing, and for namedropping you! Long time listener, first time poster.)
If this were a case where the "shy" partner said, "I am really uncomfortable with the spotlight personally and do not want to court it, but I will support you in your ambitions and offer you whatever you need to make them happen and make the glare bearable," I suspect that would have gone a long way to making Taylor feel seen and comfortable in pursuing her goals in the way that she now has. Again, that might have been more akin to the balance that seemed to have been struck around 2019 from what we can see, but even speaking in a general sense, there are lots of couples out there, celebrity or not, that have similar approaches where there are highly driven people and busy careers involved.
(A famous example being Dolly Parton's marriage. Tbh I know next to nothing about her and Carl, but she's always heralded as an example in this regard, because her husband is famously uncomfortable with the spotlight and hasn't accompanied her to public events in decades, but she's said that she never minded that because that was always work to her, and what was important was that he supported her in pursuing all her career goals and basically ensured she had a place to call home to return to at the end of the day.)
We're kind of in a brave new world with her current relationship because it felt like, at least at the start, we were maybe watching her figure out her boundaries in real time as to what she was comfortable with or not and adjust accordingly. Like so many have said, I fully believe the extreme privacy thing was initially driven by herself and her experiences in 2016, and she needed that quiet time to recover from all of the things and figure out how to exist in the world again.
Stating the obvious, it seemed like eventually privacy was equated with secrecy, turning the relationship and the celebrity into the elephant in the room and something to never be spoken of to the outside world. People are free to choose whatever works best for themselves and their relationships, and for some the separate public lives might work, but the “kept me like a secret but I kept you like an oath” theme is all over her work and it’s clear that it’s a sore spot for her, because she’s been made to feel shame just for the life she leads so many times in the past.
What I’m trying to say is that it’s pretty obvious something Not Great was happening behind the scenes, which didn’t just amount to “she wanted to be a public celebrity and he wanted to be a private hermit.” (Also, in case anyone forgot, this is a person who also chose a public-facing career who also has to engage in press for it, but I digress.) As her career reached new heights post-folklore, if she had the support at home to do all the things without judgment and with encouragement, and in turn offer the same support to her partner, she may have very well lived just fine with that, not unlike Dolly Parton’s case.
By reading between the lines in all the press since, as well as comments on tour and general ~vibes~ with TTPD teasers, it seems like one of the issues was that that was likely not the case. There was all the stuff that we saw — the reticence to acknowledge each other in the media (particularly on one side), the lack of public support even at events at which they were both in attendance for their respective jobs, the great lengths they went to not to be photographed together at events they attended yet no problem taking pictures with other friends and coworkers, the jobs that separated them, the withdrawing from the public even for work accomplishments, etc. Which could all be manageable if a couple chooses to do so together and are not inherently a sign of trouble in themselves.
But what we’re seeing now I think is a reflection of the things we weren’t seeing then, and it seems to indicate some very deep hurt. (I know, call me Captain Obvious.) And like so many have been saying, it feels likely that that part of that hurt is rooted in that very lack of private support where a person would expect it from their partner. Obviously as a Taylor fan blog I’m going to be more inclined to understand her side of a story, but tbh, it’s also because… this is sooooooo common, and something I’ve experienced in my friend group. (@taylortruther is right when she says most breakups are the same one way or another lol.)
One partner is resentful of the other’s success, or resentful that the other’s priorities begin to evolve as new experiences unlock new goals, or feels the other’s ambitions are not worthy of pursuit, and coupled with perhaps their own struggles in the same domain, it’s easy to see where that can chip away at the other partner’s morale and faith in the relationship. I know I’m just speculating here, but I also don’t think it’s totally unfounded. (Again, because a) I’m picking up what she’s putting down and b) it happens to sooooooo many women even among us dull normals.)
With all the pointed mentions about how much Taylor feels supported in her current relationship and how she in turn loves to offer the same show of support to not only her partner but other loved ones, how she’s stepped out more in the last year to a whole host of events, how she’s mentioned feeling like she locked herself away for years and she’s just proud of her partner and happy she can show up for him even if the chaos around it is unsettling, it paints a picture of what perhaps was happening before last year.
To feel like you’re all alone in carrying the weight of the relationship (or burden of it), of twisting yourself into knots to accommodate the other person’s boundaries (or insecurities) but not feeling reciprocity for your own has to be so painful. (The idea that it may have been even darker and to have a partner not only be unreceptive to your own needs but even perhaps resentful/dismissive/belittling of them is even more painful to think of. I guess we’ll find out when TTPD comes out if that was the case, too.)
At a certain point, that lack of acknowledgement will force your hand to be able to reclaim yourself. And it feels like the further removed Taylor in particular is from it, the more she moves from being sad about the life she felt she gave up by leaving, to angry at the life she felt she was giving up by staying. Especially being in a relationship now where it seems like everything comes much easier, where she can be open about the person she’s with and show up for them, all the stuff that seemed as challenging as climbing Mount Everest in her past is nothing more than a molehill at best in her current life.
TL;DR: I don’t think it’s privacy that inherently spells doom for a celebrity relationship like this; it’s the mutual support and respect that does. If Taylor had felt that in the later years of her previous relationship, I think we could be seeing a different, though not necessarily unfulfilled, person right now in 2024, who’d be happy on tour but whose personal life would look a little different. But it seems like by losing that support she lost parts of herself, and we’ve seen her reclaim that in spades in the last year, and perhaps to degrees she didn’t even realize she could from before all the Bad Stuff started happening in her young adulthood.
I know this was extremely long-winded and unnecessary, especially about total strangers we only know through scraps fed through the media, but I just always bristle at this idea that issues like these boil down to “personality differences,” as though one person wants to live in a city and the other on a remote island, or some shit like that. The whole support (and gender tbh) issue is one that’s just very close to my heart because again, I have seen it play out with so many of my friends in long term relationships and marriages and I just think people in relationships (and women in particular in some circles) deserve better than to feel like they’re being, well, tolerated.
#thisisctrying and taylortruther sorry for tagging you two!#can remove if needed!#but you guys made me think a lot#this was inspired by a conversation i had with a friend the other day#where she relayed an argument she had with her partner#who basically felt slighted that he wasn’t getting acknowledgement for all the housework he does — which is. just. the dishes#and she was like ‘wow congrats you’ve done the dishes — i do every other fucking thing to keep this household afloat in ways you see#and don’t see and i never ask for praise because it’s just stuff that needs to get done because that’s how you support your family’#and it just reminded me that some partners (and a certain kind of man in particular) just… think their struggles take precedence#when their partners drown in them everyday but keep things afloat out of necessity and are never recognized or supported for it#(my friends have shitty husbands/boyfriends can you tell lol)#long post#again the way i just feel like i know the vibes of ttpd in my bones are 😵💫#i feel like i have a lot more thoughts but I’m trying to be more gracious and less parasocial so#also just want to again defend the introverts of the world by reiterating that being introverted does not mean unsupportive#being a shitty partner does though!#writing letters addressed to the fire#it’s also just like… i feel like if Taylor had had even a modicum of the support in private and even public she needed#she’d probably still be with you know who and wouldn’t have considered leaving let alone doing it#because it would have felt like enough and like it was what was needed for both of them#whereas we’re seeing a completely new side of her open up now because this is the first time she’s ever had that support from a partner#in her adult life at least#and it’s like it’s opening up things she didn’t know she needed or wanted
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On Wednesday before I gave my presentation I confessed to a new employee that I was worried it would be too long and she brightly told me her life hack was to just let AI rewrite things for her. She said I should put in all my talking points and ask ChatGPT to give me a five minute exactly presentation. I was like....how is the most polite possible way (since this is a new colleague I shouldn't get off on the wrong foot with) that I can express that I will Not be taking this advice. Ever. I told her that I didn't think we were allowed to use ChatGPT at this job (we most certainly are not, it is a nightmare for any type of protected information) and also that I prefer to write all of my own work. Despite my best efforts the last part of that was still passive aggressive, lol.
Something about being a writer makes it so that it's almost offensive to me for someone to suggest I use AI to do my work instead? Like, the day I reach the point where I let AI write something for me is the day y'all need to be checking me for brain damage because clearly I'm losing it
#i also told her i was capable of making a 5 minute presentation but that i had too much information to cover to explain the project in 5 min#and she was like oh that makes sense!!#but like im sorry ��am i the insane one or like....#idk to me suggesting I use AI isn't a helpful suggestion it reads as someone telling me i don't know how to do my job#does that make sense?#i don't consider it a lifehack or working smarter instead of harder. it seems like you're suggesting i am incapable of writing well myself#i know a lot of people right now thing AI is the best thing ever#to me it's a blatant omission that you can't do your own work or think for yourself#this is also even crazier of a suggestion to me because that morning i had TWO managers on call debating wording of a sentence#like we were reveiwing this presentation tightly so that we said exactly what we wanted to and met the standards of our administration#chatgpt is not going to understand the nuances of what we can/cannot say or official/approved wording lol#i think we use ai tools in the sense of like...photoshop generative fill or ai stuff in scientific research/arcgis#but i'm like 99% sure we were banned from using chatgpt over privacy concerns of putting controlled information into it#anyway. idk. i know not everyone writes as well as i do.#but i'd rather read bad writing that came from a person than something that was generated for you tbh#and i will help review my colleagues' writing any day
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I really really really want to read a Oscar/Noel fic but I can’t?? find any?? I guess I have to write my own but it’s not the same :(
#there are other people who ship them right…?#oh and I’m pretty sure their ship name is holy ghosts riiight#I asked my friend who I convinced to listen to malevolent her opinions on my crack(?)ships#and she said Oscar and Noel were a solid 7/10 which is pretty good actually#but she said Kayne and the Butcher is 3.5/10 :(#(and she hasn’t even gotten to the part where Kayne explodes Collins’ head :/#I do have a vague fic outline where Noel comes back from Spain and finds Oscar who’s still recovering from the arm thing#and they go out to lunch. and stuff#I don’t have much inspiration to get started though#malevolent#oscar malevolent#detective noel#charlie dowd#<- btw I think the fic (if I ever write it) will be from Oscar’s pov so he’ll refer to Charlie as detective noel#unless Charlie says like ‘just call me Charlie’ that’d be cute I guess#hmm.#why are there so many tags here
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