#if i end up writing it id also like to focus on what happens after they escape/fix it

[duckduckngoose]

Damn Mechs brainrot hitting so hard I'm already considering writing a 'longterm" fic

[wonysugar]

working in retail 101 | ahn yujin

synopsis : what happens when a floor manager flirts with a floor clerk during an accidental, overnight lock-in inside the store? well, not anything professional, that’s for sure.

pairing : clerk!gpyujin x floormanager!femreader

genre : smut, kinda fluff towards the end too? coworkers trope, kinnndaaa boss x employee?? idk but THEY’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE DATING!

tags : so! lot to unpack here lol, superstore au, yes that sitcom netflix show SUE ME, references to the show, you don’t have to watch the show to read this but it’d be better if you knew what i was talking aboutgiejdks, naturally all characters work at cloud 9!girlpenis!yujin, handjobs, teasing, oral sex (yuj receiving), missionary sex, marking up, sub!yujin, she’s hung halp, dom!reader, implied puppy play, jonah!coded yujin, so yes she’s a loser, amy!coded reader, dina!coded gaeul, cheyenne!coded wonyoung, glenn!coded jiwon, although she isn’t really mentioned ueueueue, garrett!coded rei!

warnings : mentions of alcohol!

word count : 5,1k (excluding texting ofc!)

a/n : THIS IS MY LONGEST FIC YET?? kinda not proofread so sorry for that but HAIII omg okay so this took me such a long while to write i’m SORRYY</333 i started it while i was in the PRIME of my superstore hyperfixation and ??? IT’S SUCH A FUNNY SHOW I DEFINITELY RECOMMEND IT OMG did i mention this was a superstore au— [GUNSHOTS] as for my other drafts, they’re being worked on as we speak!! i really hope you enjoy reading this and thank you for your time! :]

also. IF ANY OTHER SUPERSTORE ENJOYERS ARE READING THIS PLEASEEE INVADE MY INBOX IMMEDIATELY I BEGGG

yujin.

that was all that preoccupied your thoughts, just her stupid face plaguing your mind like it was some sort of virus on a computer.

you needed yujin, there was no way around it. it was impossible to focus on your job when all you could think about was her, you needed her right here and right now.

and that’s exactly what you were gonna get.

after making sure that none of your coworkers were watching you flee the department you were in charge of, you quickly rushed towards the photo lab, or as everybody in the workplace liked to call it, ‘the bang room’. you walked in, slowly closed the door on your way and immediately pulled out your phone, leaning on the table and grinning to yourself as you typed up a text to send her.

running.

..running?

visualizing her just running across the store made you uncontrollably giggle at your screen in amusement.

cute, you thought to yourself. nobody else you knew would go out of their way to run across a department store as an employee to get head, and you’d normally take that text as a hyperbole, but knowing yujin? well, she was known to be very literal in everything she said. if she’d one day tell you that she had bigger fish to fry, that’s probably because she was indeed at home, frying bigger fish on a pan. (and she’d probably even send you pictures of the bigger fish in question, because why wouldn’t she?)

barely 30 seconds had passed after her last message when you turned off your phone, slid it into one of your back pockets and waited patiently. looking around at the familiar environment, you thought of various ways you two could use it this time. on your last encounter with yujin, she laid you down on the same counter that the printer sits on and proceeded to dick you down there! another time, you thought that grabbing the professional camera that’s usually used for passport or id pictures on the metal shelf next to the table and recording yujin as you rode her cock was an amazing idea! and, it was.

so much so that you still have the videos saved onto your phone!

you didn’t know that reminiscing about all of these past occurrences again would worsen your original predicament, but it did; you needed yujin to show up as soon as possible. now more than ever. 

then, suddenly, as if your prayers were magically answered, you heard rapid and loud footsteps outside the lab, followed by a familiar voice exclaiming the words “oh shit—“ before being cut off by the sound of numerous heavy boxes falling on the ground, the thud of that person’s body immediately following. worried, you got up from your seat, the door swinging open before you even had the chance to take a step towards it.

a panting yujin is what greeted you, her chest heaving up and down.

she looked at you, and you looked back at her, eyebrows raised in surprise. her eyes were nervous, darting around occasionally, looking like this was the first time you would’ve ever sucked her dick in the photo lab. 

oh she definitely fell on her way here.

“…hi?” you said, amused by the thought.

“hello!” she responded, still short of breath, smiling stupidly. 

still preoccupied by the alarming amount of boxes toppled over behind her, you tried looking over her shoulder, wanting to confirm your theory. she reacted by immediately leaning onto that side of the door frame, attempting to hide her accident from your curious sight by acting casual. that gesture alone made you especially notice how messy her short hair looked, how the ‘ahn yujin’ name tag she had pinned to her blue cloud 9 vest seemed to be abnormally tilted to the left, as well as… how weirdly scratched her glasses looked..?

it, unfortunately for her, didn’t take long at all for you to connect the dots.

yup. she fell. 

“yujin— did you slip on your way here?”

she immediately started laughing nervously in response, her eyes darting around as she pushed up her glasses and cleared her throat, hand running through her soft short hair, “…what?! noo… who do you think i am? that’d just be clumsy of me..” she kept laughing, that is, until she mumbled under her breath, 

“i did jog a little bit and didn’t seem to notice the wet sign that was on the floor but it’s just a tiny little scratch probably, nothing too bad aha i’ll clean it up later before the other managers sees it— a-anywho!” 

so you were correct in believing her, she did run across the store just to get in here quickly. and, as expected of her clumsy person, she apparently also slipped and fell in the process.

you giggled at her. god, what an idiot, you thought.

your favorite idiot.

“you know you could’ve just walked here, right?” you told her, slowly walking towards her as you cheekily smiled. “we’re not in a rush.”

while you did so, yujin took the opportunity to finally lock the door properly behind her, not even looking back at it. she stared at you, then at your lips, then right back up at your eyes. “well— i did tell gaeul that i was gonna stock up the fridge after cleaning the spilled yogurt..” 

her hand scratched the back of her head nervously, “and.. i-i kind of was in a rush, i mean, you texted me...”

you chuckled, simply thinking that she was being sappy. that is, until she nervously bit her lip and motioned with her eyes for you to look down at her. “i couldn’t have anyone see me like this… so—“

your gaze was met with the incredibly visible hard-on she had. no seriously, it poked right through her denim jeans, anybody with average, functioning eyes could effortlessly see it, especially under the new, very bright lights that were recently installed by the electricians. you scoffed, incredibly amused by the sight, she got a boner from those innocent texts alone? that was a first, no wonder why she looked so keen to get here.

in her defense, it had been a long while since the two of you were last in this room alone. hell, it’d been a long while since the two of you even said actual words to each other, period. you guys aren’t friends or anything, you only ever text her whenever it’s work or sex related and there’s still barely any conversation then, let alone when you spoke to her in person.

therefore, the boner wasn’t completely unexpected, but it was still enough to heavily flatter you. then, you felt your ego get even more stroked when you remembered that… she didn’t know much about you at all, yet she got this worked up over texts like that from you? a simple coworker she knew and fucked from time to time?

i mean, you probably wouldn’t even remember what her last name is without looking at her nametag; in other words, you know absolutely nothing about her either! okay yeah, you know that she would always stumble on her own words when talking to customers, and that she has a tendency to always pick at her nametag that’s on the left side of her vest using her right hand. you also know that she always pushes her glasses up whenever she’s nervous and that she is overall incredibly handsome and that you catch yourself staring at her from any department you’re tasked in managing very often, but apart from that? you truly don’t know much.

she’s nothing more than just an inferior at work, to you. an acquaintance, at most, but that’s about it.

this whole approximately-twice-per-month ‘meet me in the photo lab’ ritual you two have going on wouldn’t have even existed if it wasn’t for that one time that the corporate team accidentally locked all of you in the store for the night. seriously, what else was there to do? every employee there (including yourself) took the opportunity to get drunk out of their minds to pass the time and.. honestly? yujin just looked that good that night. you couldn’t help but feel the desire to drag her to the photo lab and figure out what she tastes like, despite it being strictly forbidden to be having any sort of sexual or romantic relationship with your inferior.

the both of you were anything-but-sober, very hot individuals, and she’d caught your attention for the longest time prior to that moment, too, something stupid was bound to happen in the heat of the moment!

“photo lab, in five.” was what you quietly slurred into her ear that night, holding the biggest, most cliché, red, beer-filled solo cup ever. since the others were too busy drinking and playing ‘never have i ever’ in a certain corner of the store, nobody particularly noticed you two. she, in response, could only turn her head to face you properly with her eyebrows slightly raised, clearly taken aback by your sudden and unexpected boldness, whilst also subconsciously taking in all of your intricate facial features all at once. it’s not like she didn’t know what ‘photo lab’ entailed, everyone that worked at cloud 9 for more than a week did. maybe you were joking, she thought, perhaps you said that just to get a reaction out of her. saying that she was confused in the moment would be a big understatement, especially when she watched you get up from your seat and make your way to the spot in question.

yujin’s not stupid at all, she knew you were drunk as shit, the manner that you stumbled on your words, the way your hand sat on her thigh, the slight tint of blush on your cheeks and nose quickly gave it away. she also figured that it was most probably a very bad idea to actually follow you into that room, considering that you’re her manager, and all..

did she still do it, though? of course, of course she did. because despite everything, despite all of the ‘this is so wrong’ and ‘we shouldn’t be doing this’ she managed to get out of her,

she was equally as intoxicated that night, and it’s not like she even had it in her to pass up your invitation whether she was sober or not; as much as yujin tried to remain professional around you and not pursue anything outside of work, she always deemed you as intriguing, and she had thought about you in such a way occasionally. that being said, she was willing to accept the consequences that came with potentially having sex with you that night.

those feelings only got stronger when you eventually showed her what she’d been missing out on for all those months in one singular night. anything she’d have hoped for, you exceeded in.

as it turns out, drunken people don't always make the worst decisions after all! since, yknow.. you haven’t gotten caught by anybody yet, and hopefully never will. the only consequence she really had to deal with afterwards was you contacting her throughout random times of her shifts whenever you felt like sucking dick.

and that’s a perfectly fine outcome for both you and her.

but, that hasn’t happened in a long time, not until now, at least. hence the situation you were both put in now.

“should’ve texted you earlier, by the looks of it, hm?” teasing, you approached her, both of you now face to face. your eyes trained on her crotch, you pressed your palm onto it before looking up at her again. yujin pushed her thick glasses up the bridge of her nose, then looked away from you in response to the intimacy, embarrassed.

you got to properly look at her features again. her eyes were still just as soft and fragile as when you saw them for the first time, staring back into yours with careful anticipation.

“m-maybe..” was what she mumbled under her breath, trying her hardest not to let out an accidental whimper from the slight friction she felt down there (which she failed to do), her thighs slightly clenched together. 

“did anybody see you walk in?” you asked.

“n-no! the only one near was wonyoung, i believe. and she was on her phone, as per usual..” reassured, you giggled at her usual nervousness, then, after keeping your eyes on her nervous lips for a few moments and licking your own in anticipation, you closed the minimal amount of distance between you two and made them meet after what felt like an eternity.

and once you did, she immediately got used to the familiar feeling and melted into the sensation of your embrace.

after such a long time of not being able to touch her like this, you felt like your hands glided on her entire body by themselves, feeling up the curve of her back and waist as you kissed her. she did the same, only this time more eager than your gentle movements, as one of her hands ‘accidentally’ grazed your ass.

one thing about yujin: she will always love your ass.

the only audible thing in the photo lab was her lips intertwining with yours, the kiss was undeniably messy, and while it might’ve been able to be heard from outside, you just couldn’t seem to care; at that moment, you just wanted to feel her body against yours, to pull her in closer than physically even possible. that’s what happens when you don’t get to have each other for a long time, after all.

“i missed you—“ she pulled away for a quick moment and whispered, pouting in a puppyish manner. her arms set around your waist and holding you, her fingers tugged onto your vest in desperation as you kept rubbing your hand on her clothed hard-on. 

“i know you did.” you whispered back, taking the opportunity to delicately unzip her jeans with the same hand you teased her with before going back into the kiss, this time, more longingly than ever. you did want to tell her how much you missed her too, but you refrained from doing so.

you had way better things to waste your time on.

your lips still on hers, she whimpered against the kiss. knowing her, she was wordlessly begging for you to do something about the raging boner you gave her. and knowing yourself, you wouldn’t give into her desires so easily, not until she used her words like a big girl. in other words, you wanted to see how desperate she would get.

smiling to yourself, you slowly slid your hand up from her crotch to her abs, you only kept tracing your finger on them, teasing her further.

“god, please—” her breath hitched, breaking the tense silence, the one that was occasionally filled with the sound of your lips uniting with hers. she whined even more, feeling her hard cock rubbing against the fabric of her already zipped down denim pants.

“please what, baby? you know i can’t do anything if you don’t tell me what it is you want.” you looked up innocently, now staring into her hooded eyes. she, in response, exhaled in anticipation, looking right back at you with her eyebrows slightly upturned. you knew exactly what she wanted, that much is obvious to her.

of course, she knew it wouldn’t be so easy, she knew she needed to work for it.

“i want you to t-touch me..” she desperately bucked her hips into your palm as a pitiful attempt at satisfying her crave for friction. “please..” was what she added afterwards, wearing her trademark puppy eyes whilst she pleaded.

“good girl.” you hummed, already getting familiar with the sound of her begging again. you planted a small kiss onto her lips and another onto her neck before getting down on your knees in front of her.

you looked up at her as you unbuttoned her jeans, your eyes locking with hers whilst you slowly pulled down her pants. once those as well as her boxers were completely off, leaving with nothing but her pretty dick springing up at you, you left lazy kisses all over her lower stomach and sides. 

you kept kissing her all over, giving attention to her inner thighs and hips, purposefully giving attention everywhere except where she specifically asked to be touched, watching out for any kind of reaction from her end.

and when you eventually got what you wanted, oh you were way more than satisfied.

“you’re so m-mean y/n.. please..” yujin whined quietly, too embarrassed to even look you in the eye anymore, hers all glossy with hot, desperate tears threatening to spill if this carried on any further. her dick said all of the words that couldn’t come out of her mouth through its slight movement, twitching and practically throbbing before you, aching to be taken care of.

she needed to feel your warm mouth around her, hell, just feeling the light graze of your touch against her aching cock would be enough; at least, that’s what it felt like, she was sure she’d go insane if you didn’t give her just that. if she could, she’d grab the back of your head and fuck your throat like she likes it, unapologetic and more than ready to make you swallow all of her thick load.

she knew she couldn’t, of course, she was very much aware that she needed permission to remotely even touch you, which, unfortunately for her, just contributed to arousing her even more.

taking pity on her, “i’m sorry for teasing, baby, you’re just so cute when you beg..” you admitted, smiling to yourself and running your hand up and down her thigh, before adding on, “you’ve been so needy, so good for me.. and just for that, i’ll take good care of you now, okay?”

just like that, her eyes were back on yours, this time wider and more excited, it’s like you could see her invisible puppy ears standing up in anticipation. she nodded at your words, her gaze still wet and pathetic with tears. 

it didn’t take long for you to finally wrap your hand around her hard shaft, stroking it up and down ever so slowly, to which the girl whose penis you were jerking off let out a heavy sigh of relief. your thumb brushed the slit of her tip, rubbing all of the precum that came out of it all over the surface of her cock, making her shudder. then, after what felt like an eternity of you teasing her, you eventually took all of her length all at once, holding your hair up. 

“ahh— y/n.. fuck..“ desperate moans escaped yujin’s mouth as you sucked her off, using all of her willpower attempting to not hold up your hair for you and ram herself into your mouth. 

she really wanted to, though, and you know her like you know the back of your hand, so that wasn’t hard to figure out. it’s obvious, especially with how her nails seemed to dig into her own skin due to how desperate she was to touch you. 

you saw that, and took pity on her; gently grabbing one of her hands and putting it on your hair, you nonverbally gave her the desired permission to finally touch you, and to guide your head however she wanted to.

mumbling quiet and desperate ‘thank you’s, she nestled her fingers in between your strands of hair for maximum comfort. unconscious about it, she dug her nails into your scalp slightly. it didn’t take long until she proceeded to finally move your head in a repetitive, back and forth motion.

“y/n..” she groaned after a while of having you suck her off, looking down at you and using all of her willpower to be as quiet as possible, but alas, “i can’t hold it in.. i’m sorry i— i need to cum.. so badly—”

no matter how hard she tried to keep it contained, she simply couldn’t: she moaned, finally shooting her long anticipated load into your throat, the warm and thick substance coating the entirety of the inside of your mouth. 

you weren’t done with her, of course, especially not after that.

now, you weren’t usually one to be into anything considered similar to ‘vanilla sex’, you always liked experimenting and trying different things, especially if it was yujin. however, you felt like keeping it simple today, your only objective being to orgasm from the girl’s, still very hard, cock.

therefore, what better way to do that than some good old missionary on the photo lab table? 

after making out with you and leaving marks all over your neck and visible parts of your collarbone, she ended up on top of your laying body, both your clothing and hers mostly still on. 

being positioned like this was the only time where she felt like she had power over you, and not vice-versa. it was the only time where she felt like she could do anything she wanted to you without any consequences, and she looked forward to it every single time. of course, she still thoroughly enjoys having you order her around, whether it’s for work or not, however, she also liked having a role switch every once in a while.

keeping her balance with one of the hands she has on the table, positioned right next to your head, she proceeded to take off the glasses from her face and set them somewhere near. you quickly stopped her by gently grabbing onto her wrist, which caught her attention. wide-eyed, she asked, “yeah?”

“don’t take them off.”

“...excuse me–”

“keep your stupid glasses on this time,” she was already committed to the action of putting them back on after you indicated that you wanted her to, but you decided to justify further, just for good measure, “i’ve always wondered what’d it look like for you to wear them while you fuck me.” 

and when she thought she couldn’t possibly be any more turned on and eager to fuck you, you proved her wrong with just that small, simple sentence.

she quickly pushed her glasses back up the bridge of her nose before leaning back into you, kissing you again, this time more eagerly. soon enough, she pulled away and started fucking you with slow, gentle thrusts, listening out for any sounds that came out of your pretty lips, gaze going back and forth between admiring how pleasure quickly contorted your beautiful face and watching how her dick disappeared into you.

the longer that went on, the harder it got to contain the noises that threatened to leave your already agape mouth, especially with how fast yujin’s pace got progressively faster.

“f-fuck yujin..” you whined, watching the girl on top of you lose herself as she thrusted the entirety of her length into your core. she looked at you through the lenses of her glasses as you whimpered sweet praises, leaving hungry, desperate kisses all over your lips, neck and even collarbone, marking you up even more.

soon enough, all of this turned into a constant cycle; all of a sudden, you realized that you wouldn’t actually mind staying that way for hours and hours on end. who knew that yujin could make hooking up on a shift for around the hundredth time still be so fun?

she eventually planted one last kiss on your lips before making you cum, your walls clenching all around her cock, which, of course, turned her on so much that she had to pull out to jerk off and help herself reach her own climax, in one last long moan.

lightheaded from the consecutive orgasms she’s put herself through, she laid there after you thoroughly licked her coated-in-cum dominant hand, as to remove any evidence of you two being ever here. her body rested on yours and her head comfortably nestled in the crook of your neck as she cuddled up to you, enjoying your body warmth. you panted, matching the rhythm of her own breathing, otherwise a comfortable silence settled between the two of you. 

that is, until her phone obnoxiously rang in one of her jean pockets, breaking said silence and catching the both of you by surprise. 

sitting up in a hurry, she quickly digs into said pocket and pulls out her cellular device, wasting no time to look at the caller and straight up just answers it, in case of an emergency. she puts it up to her ear before speaking up, clearly nervous, “..hello?”

silence. you stare at her with anticipation and curiosity, studying her facial expressions and looking out for any hint of bad news. thankfully, that never happened, as her eyes instead lit up in surprise.

“oh! yes, hello..”

“uh huh,” she added, nodding along to the words only she heard from the tiny phone speaker placed against her ear, “4 pm? yes! of course, i-i’ll be there. thank you so much.” 

she quickled fixed her posture and ended the call soon after saying that, turning back at you with a pleased and surprised expression.

“who was that?” you asked, curiosity eating at you.

“target.” she watched as your expression switched to a puzzled one, therefore explained further, “they called me to see if i was free for an interview later.”

“interview?” you repeated, making sure you heard her correctly, she nodded. “you applied to places recently?” is what you added.

she gave you another nod, this time reluctant, fixing her glasses and messy short hair, “i mean, nothing against cloud 9 or anything! i like working here and i love you guys, a lot! i simply just wanted a change of pace, i guess.. p-plus they might not even hire me, it’s not like i was expecting them to even call me back in the first place, so—” 

“hey,” you placed before she could stumble on another one of her words, wearing a sympathetic smile, “don’t worry about ‘not repping’ cloud 9 or whatever, it’s not like you sold your soul to jiwon when coming here. you’ll kill it there!” you joked, before continuing, “plus, you can always come back if things ever don’t work out; whatever happens, i’m rooting for you, we all are.” 

“even if you’re working for the rival company.” were your last words before leaving a kiss on her cheek and standing back up on your two feet, fixing yourself up. the sudden skin contact combined with the banter earned a shy giggle from yujin.

it was somewhat a ridiculous situation, feeling guilty for leaving your coworkers and going for another job, yujin didn’t know why she felt like this over trivial things such as this one. yet, you comforted her, despite how stupid it might seem. it’s only natural since you, out of all people, are the first person to know how much of a nervous wreck she is and how sensitive she always is to this kind of stuff, that was her charm, after all.

she appreciated you way more than she’d like to outwardly admit.

so, while you’re making your way to the door, getting ready to go to the break room to grab your things from your locker and clock out for the day, she calls out to you, “hey, y/n?”

“yeah?”

“are you maybe free, afterwards? y-yknow since our shifts both end at 2:30pm i was thinking we could maybe go grab a coffee together before my job interview and stuff but it’s like, totally fine if you already have plans or whatever—“

you smiled, flattered by the invitation. after all, today would mark the last day that you’re considered her ‘superior’, so you found it cute that she’d ask so soon. quite frankly, you were very tempted, this time having no obstacles in your way. who wouldn’t wanna go out on a date with the cute, charming girl who usually works at the dairy section? well, used to.

“sure, i would love tha—“

“ahem ahem.” you were cut off by the staticky sound of the words coming from the intercom, immediately recognizing the familiar and soft-spoken voice of your coworker, rei, “attention, dear shoppers of cloud 9, just a heads up to please proceed to not feel concerned about the following message, as it is destined to our staff, and our staff only, please and thank you. happy shopping!”

you and the puppy-like girl looked at each other in confusion, only to be thrown off guard by the same voice again, this time sounding more impatient. 

“now.. y/n, yujin, i know you can hear me; come out of that damn photo lab before i personally drag you out of there myself oh my god y’all aren’t slick, we all know what you do in there, you’re not fooling anybody. also, what happened to keeping it classy? what happened to doing this at home? not only that but it’s been like— an hour and a customer has been trying to get some passport photos done but you hoes— two, you two have been at it for forever. next time, if you’re gonna do this, make sure to at least keep it short and not have it last a whole decade.” 

then, you heard the intercom turn off.

yujin’s face went completely red as she listened to that, now not at all wanting to walk out of said photo lab. you cleared your throat, your whole body invaded with nothing but embarrassment as uncomfortable silence filled the space between you and the other girl. 

then, once you heard the intercom turn on again, it felt like your worst nightmare coming back to life for round two.

except this time, it didn’t come for you.

“oh and yujin, gaeul wanted me to tell—“ rei’s voice blasted through the speaker again before being obnoxiously interrupted by what sounded like gaeul’s voice, who was audibly angry and annoyed.

“yujin if you don’t get your ass back in the dairy section right now and clean that god damned spilled yogurt i’ll personally make sure that jiwon gets your next paycheck cut off by fifty percent, don’t test me. it reeks, yujin, reeks. oh and as for you, wonyoung, get off that damn phone before i—”

then, the intercom turned off again, which was probably rei’s doing, to both yujin, and probably wonyoung’s relief. 

you simply giggled, watching as she took off her name tag in an embarrassed manner, yknow, as to not be recognized by the customers she’d meet on her way to the row she had to clean. then, you cleared your throat, earning her attention before leaving. 

“meet me outside when you’re done?” you smiled.

she returned that same smile, immediately having forgotten the misery that was waiting for her outside that door, visibly excited.

“yeah, i’ll be there.”

[sdjs31]

Comfort in healing

Warnings: mentions of self harm, acts of self harm, relapsing, depression, just depressing and triggering stuff but with fluff at the end

A/N, so I recently went through a break up and suffered with it hard. And badly too. Writing this seemed to help me move past my block but also help mend a piece of me inside. I understand that this is triggering and very sensitive, but there are people who go through this, myself included.

You and Melissa broke up. It happened so quickly and suddenly, you don’t remember the conversation and why. Now you’re sitting in the bathroom and a razor blade in your trembling hands. God you wish Melissa were here. But you can’t call her.

You and Melissa dated for two years. In those two years you’ve been in the happiest and healthiest relationship you’ve had in a while. You still had ups and downs like any other relationship but suddenly it got too much and you two broke up. Now you find yourself relapsing because of it. Five years down the drain of being clean.

Sighing you lean your head back against your bathroom cabinet feeling the pain radiating through your body, but yet you feel free and relaxed. Your phone suddenly buzzes. A text from Melissa

“Y/N, can we talk?” You don’t answer, another text “Please Y/N” again you don’t answer. After a few minutes you just close your eyes and take a deep breath. Your phone buzzes again but with a call. It’s Melissa. You don’t answer, she rings a second time and you just stare at her caller ID, a photo of you two on your one year anniversary. Everything inside you shatters again and you bring the blade to your skin. Wincing you do what makes you feel better but also worse. Your phone buzzes more and finally you turn off your phone completely. Slowly getting up from the floor with your knees achy you clean yourself up and head back into your room and lay down. Staring at the ceiling for a few minutes before eventually dozing off. You wake up to a knock and you just roll back over and try to go back to sleep. Apparently you dozed off and are being shaken awake by someone. You immediately wake up and see who it is. Melissa, staring at you, with a worried expression on her face and her face slightly paler than usual.

“Issa?”

“Y/n? What happened?

“Huh?”

“Hey, focus on me. What happened? Why is your pants red and so are your sheets?”

“Huh?” Still groggy you aren’t following her words “what do you mean”

“I asked you, why are you bleeding? Your sheets and pants are stained red.”

This jolts you more awake. “What? I thought-“ you thought you cleaned up well and patched up yourself well enough to prevent bleeding like this. You slowly get up realize the bandages came off. You didn’t have actually bandages, just bandage tape.

“Oh- …it’s nothing.”

Melissa still looks confused and concerned “you don’t have to tell me, but why. I know that’s not your period. What did you do?”

You just look at her, mouth opening and closing, not finding words. She sees you struggling and she slowly walks over to you. “Y/n, tell me, please. Why are you bleeding?”

You stiffen “I uh- I- Mel-“ you start to sniffle and shake. You eventually collapse onto the bed. “I’m sorry Mel, I’m so sorry. I-, I just, god I’m an idiot” at this point your crying and you out your face in your hands, “I’m so sorry” you whisper

She bends down, her hands hold yours “sweetheart, it’s not your fault. I should be sorry. I let my thoughts and insecurities get the best of me. I didn’t give you an explanation. I’m the one who bursted out on you, took it out on you. I am so sorry y/n. Sorry won’t cut it, but know that I am. Youse deserve better than me, youse need someone who can give you what it is you want. Marriage, a family, fun, everything.”

You just look at her and tears run down your face. “Mel, I don’t need everything. I just wanted you, and only you. I know you don’t want to get married again, I’m fine with that. Family, having a family, it’s not a priority in my life. I want to enjoy life, to enjoy it with you. You don’t have to be sorry, because I forgive you. I am not ashamed of you, or embarrassed of you. I love you Melissa. I wish you’d understand that you give me all that I want.”

She looks at you, her eyes teary and lip quivering. “No one had said that to me before. I really am sorry. For doing this to you, for causing this to you.” She looks at your red stained pajama pants. “I am the cause of this, I can’t forgive myself for that. You shouldn’t have to do that because of me- I am the -“ before she could finish you kiss her lips softly and pull away “hey, you aren’t. It’s my thoughts that got me and harmed me. I did this myself willingly. And I’m sorry you even have to know I did this again let alone see it. I am sorry for that. You, had every right to feel what you felt, what you think. I probably would too. But Mel, you are enough, you give me enough. You make me happy and loved, I feel home with you.” You take her hands in yours and rub her rings with your thumbs. “If you want me still, I want you still.”

She chuckles softly. “I want you, I just can’t forgive myself for letting you do this.”

“Hey, it’s okay, they’ll heal, I’ll be okay. I was, I wasn’t thinking, okay? My mind was in a blur and I was hurt. It is not your fault, okay, i promise”

“Okay, but I won’t let this go, it hurts seeing you in this state.”

“It’s okay, it will be okay Mel” you kiss her rings and hold her hand kissing her hand. She smiles and gets up with a little grunt of pain from being bent down. “Let’s get you cleaned up okay? Let me help you get cleaned up.” You pause at this, “I don’t want you to see them. I don’t want you to have the image of my harm in your head.” She opens her mouth but the closes it and just nods. She gets to work to take your sheets off your bed and throw them into the wash while you go to the bathroom and clean up your mess. If stings but that’s what you are paying for, but you know now, that if you two just communicate and talk things out, it will be okay.

You come out of the bathroom patched up and in clean clothes, she looks up as she puts your last pillow back. “You okay?” She asks. You just nod, “more okay that you’re here.” You go to your closet and grab her spare pajama pants and her favorite shirt of yours. “Stay the night Mel?” She smiles “of course” she goes to the bathroom and washes her face and brushes her teeth changing into the pajamas. She walks out and sees you in bed already. She slides into bed and holds you close to her “I’m still sorry. I’ll be spending a lot of time making it up to you and making sure that you are okay and just, I’m so sorry.” You lean up to look at her “hey, I’m past that Issa, it’s okay, we are okay now. Yeah? It will be hard to get over this, especially what I did to myself but I promise that you and I will be okay.” She nods and kisses your forehead and holds you closer if even possible. “Sleep yeah?” You say. She nods “yeah, we can spend all tomorrow in bed if you want.” You smile at this, “of course, anything to make up for lost time.” She herself smiles and says “I love you y/n. I always will, no matter what.” “I love you too Mel, through it all”

[ariesqueencobra]

what we used to be | lX

Pairing: Eli Moskowitz x Fem!Reader

Summary: A victory party commences and you're noticing some red flags but maybe your love for Eli is enough to oversee it.

Warnings: Hawk being Hawk, bullying, kissing, swearing

Word Count: 2.2k

A/N: Season 2 has begun! I can't wait to write out the upcoming chapters cause I really think there's so much drama (and your girl loves drama)! Also would love to hear some feedback about this story! Send in an ask or comment!

Thank you to those who already reblog and comment, I see you and I love you all for it!

I don't consent to this work being copied, translated or reposted.

“So you might be wondering what a team does after they win the championship,” Aisha smiled into the camera. “The answer? Victor nachos!” She panned over the plate of nachos ordered for the table.

You cheered as you clinked your glasses together. 

“It was supposed to be a round of drinks but the waitress was not feeling Hawk’s fake ID,” Aisha said. 

Your eyes widened and you stifled a laugh at the look on Eli’s face. 

“Hey, don’t talk about that, my parents follow you,” he whispered. 

You chewed on your lip, suppressing a smile when Aisha apologized to his parents directly. 

“No mercy, bitches,” she closed off before joining the three of you.

Now that the weekend was here, you went for a victory dinner with your friends. Demitri tagged along as well. 

While you were still mad at Eli, you both haven’t spoken about the night of the tournament. You continued to text about anything else, but it was evident something was going on based on the space between the two of you and the fact that you hadn’t kissed since then.

“I gotta say, it’s kinda nice to be at a victory party,” Demitri grinned, pulling you from your thoughts, and grabbing a nacho from the plate. 

A smile appeared on your face. Demitri wasn’t a part of Cobra Kai, so you were glad he was able to share this moment with you, even if your boyfriend disagreed.

“Yeah, except you had nothing to do with the victory,” Eli smirked, taking the nacho right out of his best friend’s hand. 

“Well, I like to consider this a belated party for the coding competition we won at computer camp,” Demitri answered. “Remember?” 

Your eyes lit up at the mention of that. It was a lonely two weeks for you, not having anyone to hang out with or talk to, but the moment they arrived back, you were so excited to hear their stories. Especially their song, which Demitri happened to be singing at the moment.

Aisha burst out in laughter at the corniness and you joined in, only because of the way Demitri started dancing.

“Hey, cool it with the nerd shit, huh?” Eli whispered to Demitri. 

Your smile fell for a brief moment and you wondered what that was about. Sending a comforting glance at Demitri, you knew he was taken aback at the sudden outburst.

“Is Miguel around? His wings are getting cold,” you gestured to his food, deciding to focus on something else.

“He’s probably moping about Sam,” Aisha said. 

“We should probably go check on him,” your boyfriend said.

You slid out of the booth so Eli could leave, and when you sat back down, you were met with a knowing look from Demitri. 

“What’s going on with you?” He looked at you concerned.

“Is it that obvious?” You raised a brow, crossing your arms on the table. 

“Seeing as I’ve known you the majority of my life, I will say yeah,” he blew out a breath, passing you a lopsided grin. “I also know you well enough to know it has something to do with Hawk,” he mocked your boyfriend’s nickname and with how you were feeling, you couldn’t help but let out a small laugh.

It died down quickly when your attention was focused back on what happened.

“You saw what he did to Robby,” you began, playing with your fingers. “Sensei taught us not to show mercy, but,” you ended the thought and shook your head, brows furrowed. “What happened to Eli?”

He sighed before taking a deep breath. “I’ve been asking myself the same thing,” he shrugged.

“Don’t get me wrong, I love his confidence,” you said. “But this is borderline psycho,” you pointed out. “And when did your guys’ theme song become lame?!” You exclaimed. “He’s changing more each day,” your voice fell solemn. “And now I’m not sure if I like it.”

“I know, it sucks but,” he paused, licking his lips. “Just take a breath,” he reassured, patting your hand gently. “Talk to him, I think he’d still listen to you.”

“Yeah,” you nodded. You pressed your lips together and you both stayed there, holding hands in comfort. When your boyfriend came back, his brows creased as he stared at your held hands. You sighed as you pulled away.

“What the hell’s going on?”

You took in a breath as you glanced at Demitri, his look telling you it was okay. “We need to talk,” you said, standing up from the booth. 

His demeanor changed, worry filling him but he nodded, following you outside.

“What’s going on?” Eli asked, sitting next to you on the curb while you hugged yourself. He pulled you into his side.

You shut your eyes, welcoming it and finding comfort in his embrace.

“I don’t know,” you licked your lips. “You tell me,” you inhaled.

He sighed, maneuvering so you were facing the same way, his hand on your arm. “I’m not gonna apologize for what I did to Robby,” his voice was calm. 

“I’ll forget about it for this reason, but I’m still waiting on my apology for what you said,” you stared down at your interlocked hands, running your thumb against his knuckles. 

“I didn’t mean what you thought I meant, I wouldn’t hurt you, ever,” he brushed his lips over your forehead. “I’m sorry.”

“What about Demitri?”

“What about him?”

“Binary Brothers,” you said.

“I don’t like that nerd shit anymore,” he scoffed. “It’s loser talk.”

“They’re memories, who cares if you went to computer camp?”

“I care,” he stated. 

“You don’t have to lose yourself completely,” you looked up at him. “You can still like computers and be badass.”

“You don’t understand,” he shook his head. “I can’t go back to that, to that life. Things are perfect right now and I can’t let anyone ruin it, not even Demitri,” he gulped. 

Your face fell when you realized it before you reached up to cup his cheek.

“I understand,” you pressed your forehead against his. “More than you know,” you leaned in to kiss him. “You can be nicer to Demitri though,” you pulled away. “He’s your best friend.”

He didn’t respond, only looking out onto the street. 

You followed his gaze and it went unspoken that things were good now.

~

You were talking to Aisha when the bell rang at the entrance. You smiled as you greeted your boyfriend, cupping the sides of his face and going in for a kiss. You were happy that things were okay, no more silent arguing or rough patches, and you could return to having a boyfriend.

“Hi, babe,” he greeted, hand on your waist.

“What the hell happened here?” Miguel asked, referring to the broken mirror and fire damage on the wall.

“Looks like Sensei threw a party,” Aisha shrugged.

You rested your hands on your belt as you listened.

“Must have been pretty sick if fire got involved,” Eli smirked, shrugging off his bag. 

You hiked your shoulders up before the four of you made your way onto the mat.

The new students gathered inside, wondering what happened as well, their mummers were loud but were cut short as Sensei appeared, kicking them out.

“Everyone, fall in!” He instructed the class once everyone left. He walked over to the front of the class. He didn’t seem pleased even compared to his normal state of being intense.

“Must’ve been a rager, Sensei,” Eli said, smirking.

You raised a brow in amusement as Miguel continued.

“Were you celebrating all weekend?” 

“Celebrating what? That my students are a bunch of pussies?” He asked, face filled with anger.

You furrowed your brows, unsure of what he meant.

“Diaz, Hawk, upfront,” he snapped his fingers.

The two boys glanced at each other, confusion written on their faces before they complied.

Sensei stalked behind them before he began. “Hawk. Did you attack your opponent when his back was turned?” He asked.

Eli raised a brow, glancing over his shoulder. Reluctance filled his features before he responded. “Yes, Sensei,” he said, swallowing down any hesitation and keeping a stern face on.

Sensei narrowed his gaze before moving to Miguel. “Diaz, did you purposely attack your opponent’s injury?” 

“Yes, Sensei,” he responded with more assurance, but still he held that look of confusion.

“You think that makes you badass?” Sensei circled them, facing them.

Neither could answer.

“Miss Robinson! Miss L/N!” Sensei shouted.

“Yes, Sensei,” you both responded.

“Two cobras in the jungle. One kills the strongest lion, the other kills an injured monkey. Which cobra do you wanna be?”

“The one that kills the lion, Sensei,” you responded in union.

“And why is that?”

“Because it killed a stronger animal,” you said.

“Correct!” He yelled, conviction in his tone. “Cobra Kai is about being badass. And the baddest badass is when he beats his opponent when he’s at his strongest!” His voice raised. “Not when his back is turned!” He screamed directly in Eli’s face. “Not when he’s injured!” He did the same to Miguel. “Is that understood?” He turned to the class. 

“Yes, Sensei!” You responded with the rest of the class, a crease between your brows as you looked at your boyfriend.

“That means no more cheating, no more fighting dirty, from here on out those are pussy moves and you don’t wanna be pussies.”

“No, Sensei!” 

“Good, that’s why I had you wear your white belts, we’re starting over,” he stood in the middle of class. “Hawk, Diaz, fifty push-ups on your knuckles. Miss Robinson, Miss L/N, warm them up,” he pointed at the two boys before directing them towards you two.

You let out a breath before you followed Aisha to the front of the class. You nodded before you spoke. “Fighting position. Jab punch. Ready? Hiya!” You shouted, following through with the movement.

Adrenaline coursed through you as you directed the class alongside Aisha. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Eli and Miguel do push-ups. You couldn’t say you felt bad, part of you felt better knowing your Sensei didn’t agree with what went down either.

Only, you knew your boyfriend would feel differently, it was only a matter of time until you saw you were right.

~

After class, you were sent off with a homework assignment—watch Over the Top. That’s how you ended up in Eli’s basement with the rest of the dojo, the movie playing on the TV. 

You were curled into Eli’s side, feet tucked under you as you both shared a bowl of popcorn. The movie was definitely unlike anyone you saw, but it was a good movie you guessed.

“Use a coaster, dipshit” Eli flicked a kernel at one of your friends.

You snickered, Eli smiled down at you before he settled.

The movie ended and Miguel was the last to leave. 

Once the basement was cleaned up, you were about to leave but Eli had another idea.

“Come on, stay,” he stopped you from texting your dad to pick you up, a smile on his face. “We could watch a movie or something.”

Your eyes widened. “Mean Girls,” you stated.

He chuckled before grabbing the remote to put it on.

A few minutes later, the movie was playing but you were not watching. Somehow, Eli had managed to turn your attention to him and since then, his lips never left yours. 

His hand was on the small of your back while you curled your hand around his neck, your other hand resting on his chest. 

Since the weekend, all you and Eli have been doing was kissing. While you enjoyed it, you missed the moments where you kept each other company or even talked. That’s why you pulled away. 

He chased after your lips but you stopped him.

“How about we watch the movie?” You asked, chewing on your lip. “We’ve been kissing non-stop and my lips need a break,” you chuckled. 

He inhaled before passing you a smile. “Sure.” 

You paid attention this time, watching as Cady met the Plastics. The movie went on, your arm thrown across Eli’s abdomen while your cheek rested in the crook of his shoulder. You glanced up at him momentarily to see if he was watching.

“Do you like this movie?” You asked.

“It’s interesting,” he shrugged. “The blonde chick’s pretty badass for the shit she does,” he answered. “But tell me how realistic it is,” he glanced down at you, an amused look plastered on his face.

“Wish I could tell you, but instead of playing Barbies with other girls I was stuck watching you and Demitri trade Pokémon cards,” you joked. 

“Don’t remind me,” he sighed.

You furrowed your brows up at him. “Hey, seeing you get excited over getting Charizard for the first time was the moment I realized I liked you,” you stated, voice lightening at the memory.

He blinked at the realization. “You’ve liked me since then?” He looked at you.

You were left mouth agape. “I-uh,” you gulped. “Yeah, since then,” you smiled. “The nerdiness was cute,” you added. 

Something flashed over him as his gaze dropped. “And now?” 

“Your confidence,” you shrugged. “Your strength. I feel safe when I’m around you,” you said truthfully.

He smirked, reaching down to cup your jaw. 

“I like you though, Eli, all of you. And you don’t have to be a certain way around me,” you stated, sitting up. “I love you,” you confessed.

His eyes lit up. “I love you too,” he said with conviction. 

You beamed, reaching down to kiss him. You couldn’t believe you said it. But you were glad you did.

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Meryl, Luida, and Bridging the Gap

This is just a quick little side-note I wanted to make about the similarities between Meryl and Luida that I noticed as I was reading, and how they end up occupying similar, yet complementing roles in the story.

***Disclaimer: I was sick when I wrote this and my head is full of fog lmao. If I have completely left out a word or something... don't even worry about it it's fine.

First off, on a surface level, they both are characterized as capable, intelligent, level-headed women, who are suddenly thrust into leadership positions, with Meryl being assigned the task of tracking down and mitigating the damage caused by Vash the Stampede plus looking out for her new protégé, Milly, and Luida stepping up to take charge of Ship 3 and its residents after Doc's death.

While the demand placed on them both is immense, nonetheless, they are shown to be quite capable of shouldering this kind of responsibility - however, given their intense focus and objective-driven personalities, they actually both get scenes where they are somewhat horrified by their own temporary prioritization of objectives over morality. We see this with Meryl in Trigun Volume 1 when she doesn't react in righteous anger to Badwick threatening his parents and had shut herself off from writing to her own in pursuit of her job, and with Luida when she briefly considers the idea of another July incident to stop Knives. Both think negatively of themselves for this - of course, I'm of the mind that since they are upset with themselves on reflection, this proves the exact opposite, really. I think they both have hearts of gold, they're just under a lot of stress, especially as time goes on. The two of them are human beings who falter, but whose morals ultimately align closely with what Vash wants to see in the world. Really, what the two of them hate most here is the idea of their own inaction or taking the easy way in the face of wrongdoing - a concept that drives them into action going forward.

[ID: Two images from Trigun and Trigun Maximum. The first is from Trigun Volume 1. Over images of trees and Badwick's father, Meryl says "But I... I just stood there and took it all in without even budging. I am such a cold person. I chose this path of blood and tears without thinking about the rest of my life. All I can see is what's right in front of me." Meryl starts to cry as she continues, "Why could I not see... that when I closed myself off to him, something was wrong? I..." She then slaps her cheeks and says "No... never mind!" The second image is from Trigun Maximum Volume 8. A single tear runs down Luida's cheek. Meryl says "Miss Luida...?" Her back turned to Meryl, Luida says "I'm sorry. I... was thinking for a moment. If something like July would happen again... it could stop Knives, but... ... I'm a terrible woman. End ID.]

Both of them also have a connection to Vash's past that gives them a different perspective on him as a person, instead of just an ally - Meryl, of course, gets brain-blasted in Volume 5 with Vash's memories (poor thing), but Luida is also more familiar with him than even a lot of the people on Ship 3, it seems - enough that she calls him out for blaming himself after the attack, clearly used to hearing this from him. She also is the one to clear up at least some of Wolfwood's confusion and uncertainty.

We also get this interesting parallel of them both watching Vash walk away to face Knives, him having rejected their offers of help. It's something that clearly saddens them both, as they watch him fight alone again and again, and wish he wouldn't. Both of them have moments where they feel they can't offer much in the way of assistance, or that their best efforts aren't enough.

[ID: Two images from Trigun and Trigun Maximum. The first is from Trigun Volume 2. Vash, his back turned, runs off into the chaos, a Plant seen above him and the city ahead, as he yells back "Get as far away from here as you can! Get to safety!" Meryl watches him from the door. In the second image, from Trigun Maximum Volume 8, a grainy flashback shows Vash's turned back as he walks away from a young Luida, who is reaching out to him. End ID.]

Of course, we the readers know this isn't true at all! Meryl and Luida do so much over the course of the story.

Interestingly, they don't start off as the ones completely in charge - Meryl works for Bernadelli even if she is in charge of her assignment, and Luida is presumably part of the Council, but the one in charge is initially Doc. But once they do take over - Luida after Doc's death, and Meryl once the world is thrown into ruins and Bernadelli no longer exists - there is a striking difference in the way they act from their predecessors.

Meryl goes from simply following Vash around to taking a self-directed and active role in assisting him however she can - looking for his old belongings and anything else of potential use, asking Marlon to repair his gun, creating a distraction with Milly, and helping the Earth Federation in the final hour with no hesitation.

Luida takes a much more active role in rallying Ship 3 to assist Vash as well. While some of this may simply have been because the stakes were raised much higher after Volume 3, Ship 3, while already a base of support for Vash, was a distant safe haven, kept largely separate from the rest of the world. Up until that point, they had provided Vash with aid, but not fought alongside him, something that clearly bothers Luida on multiple occasions. She decides to change this. She's the one who sets out to help as many of the towns ravaged by the Ark as possible. She rallies the Ship 3 residents for a rescue mission to help Vash. She's the one to step forward and attempt to bring all the leaders around to standing with Vash.

Which brings me to my last comparison point. They're both staunchly supportive of Vash, quick to come to his aid, and quick to defend his character from those who doubt his intent - Luida even sharply calls out her own people for their moment of mistrust after hearing about July. These two know and care about Vash on a more personal level than most - and as we all know, due to his avoidant tendencies, this is not an easy thing to do. Vash is frequently misinterpreted, and these two are often the ones to set the record straight.

[ID: A panel from Trigun Maximum Volume 3. Luida, sternly, says "That's a foolish question. You would know the answer just by looking at the scars on his body. If he had used his true immortality, those scars would not be there. End ID.]

In this way, much like Vash is a bridge between humans and Plants, Meryl and Luida are something of a bridge between humans and Vash.

And they're able to do this because deep down, their ideals align closely with his - they're not just supporting someone they care about; they have a similar desire to see the kind of world he fights for, and they choose to fight for it too.

But while Luida is something of a spokesperson for Vash, reaching out to humanity, it is almost as if Meryl becomes the voice of humanity reaching back, responding to him, and agreeing that not everything in the world is awful; that it is worth believing in the best in others. They need to stand together.

[ID: A panel from Trigun Maximum Volume 14. Meryl, in a spacesuit, with frank determination, says, "Because we decided to stand together. We stand with Vash the Stampede." End ID.]

Meryl is the voice of proof that some people believe in the love and peace he speaks of, and are willing to say it back to him in turn.

Updated on my masterpost - my other book club stuff can be found here!

[vroerry]

Hi. So, to start, i dont know the difference between oneshot and short fanfic, im not used to those words yet, im sorry ;n; so make it whichever one of those two you feel like and would have fun with! Id like a nice little story to read, not just headcanons alone if possible.

Ive been thinking about this idea that takes place after Kazuichi Soda gets yelled at by Sonia in the Dangan 2 game, and they all storm off in their own directions. But then, reader tries to go comfort Kaz and one thing leads to another~

I suppose a touch of angst would be appropriate for such a story, but i dont want it to be just that, or too focused on that. Thats the lead up to the NSFW, which is the focus.

Reader goes and finds Kaz in the night after everyone went seperate ways, comforts him, they talk, hes probably a bit snippy, but then calms down. These 2 were buddies, not dating, but then all the ~stuff~ happens, and, you get the rest. Sexy stuff ought to cheer the man up lol. You fill out the "how" of this scenario. Howd they end up in bed? Have fun with it.

Im sure reader would feel bad for Kaz, not wanting him to be in distress. Maybe reader has been secretly pining for Kaz, but that doesnt HAVE to be a detail, im kinda making this all up quickly, throwing in lots of details, and you decide what sticks~ The others on the island didnt see each other for the rest of that night, so they could definitely get alone time no problem. Maybe after he calms down a bit, reader comes up behind him and hugs him, sweet and somber.

Idk about location, because the others would be in their cottages, but the motel should be free at this point, so maybe there so they can be loud and not care.

Can i PLEASE have reader taking kaz's hat the morning after because her hair is so messed up, like "gimmi that shit, your hair looks fine as hell, im the mess today i need hat." Maybe something in the end about them trying to act natural the next day around the others, you know? Perhaps some hickeys gave it away or somethin, whatever you think up and wanna write is cool.

Gender neutral or female reader is cool if ya dont mind. And idk what genre to label it as like you asked in your rules. Slight angst with mostly NSFW? Idk how to genre, i apologize ;-;

Thank you for reading, i look forward to your future works, whatever youre inspired to do is cool. Take it easy<3 ~Tiara👑

I'm so freaking sorry for the wait😭 My life took a heavy turn, but I'm fine now!

When I tell you I took my sweet time to play around with this scenario~

Also, difference between short fanfic and oneshots: It might be made up by me??? For me a short fanfic is multiple parts, 10 at tops, each part being around 1600 words at least?? So the entire fic is maximum around 16k words.

But now, to the fanifc:

A comforting touch

Kazuichi Souda x fem reader, NSFW

words: 1380

Another day on the islands, another day to end in chaos. Just the usual Jabberwock Island drama in the middle of a damned killing game.

Everything was fine, everything was going well, until Kazuichi decided to express his love for Sonia again. And this time, it did not end well. And you were the one that was in charge of finding Kazuichi. Again.

"Just make sure he doesn't do anything stupid" Hajime asked you and sent you off on your way.

"I will!" you replied and took went on a journey to find your buddy. Ever since you've ended up in this situation, he made you weirdly comforted. His goofiness, his fun aesthetic, everything. Except for when he was driving Sonia, and after that everyone else, insane. Even you struggled to understand his obsession with her, but brushed it off. It's his business not yours. It's his business not yours...

When you started looking for him, the sun was still up, but soon the moon took his place on the sky with the stars and you were completely clueless about his whereabouts.

"Let's see..." you thought to yourself. "What did I miss...?" The locations quickly ran through your head. Library, check. Theater, check. Cottages, check. First island entirely? Check.

"The motel!" you said out loud. "Well, I doubt he'd be there but... it's worth a shot" you wondered and decided to give it a go. You made your way to the third island and immediately headed for the motel. The abandoned looking building looked the same as ever, and the smell of musk was just as strong as before. You slowly opened the door and called out to the seemingly empty building.

"Kaz? Are you here...?" you walked inside and started looking around. "I just want to make sure you're okay, bud... I've been looking for you for hours..."

No response.

You continued to walk around the dusty place, stopping every now and then in front of doors.

"Kazu? Please be here, I have no other idea where to look for you... We can do whatever you want... Just be okay..."

Still nothing.

You sighed.

"Fuck, maybe I was wrong..." with a heavy heart you started to get to the exit. "I hope he's alright..." as you started walking away, a door behind you opened. You quickly turned back to see Kazuichi standing in the doorway.

His hair was the usual mess, he cried his eyeliner off.

"I'm sorry" he mumbled. "Were you that worried?"

"It's okay! Oh god, I finally found you..." you said and went back to him. "Thank god you're okay... Would a hug be okay?"

"Yeah..." he replied and you wrapped your arms around him and so did he.

"It's going to be okay... I promise, Kaz... You'll apologise to her tomorrow and everything will be fine..."

"I will..." Kazuichi said. "I... i went overboard... I didn't want to upset her..." he slowly let go of you.

"I suppose... You don't want to go back there, right?" He shook his head in response.

"I don't want to be near anyone right now... Well, aside from you, I guess... But if you don't want to stay, you can go back..."

"No, it's fine" you brushed the offer off. "I'll stay here with you... I promised the others and myself that I'd keep an eye on you..."

"Alright then.. I guess... we can stay here..."

"Do you... uh... want to talk about everything that happened..?" you ask. He stays silent for a bit.

"Let's sit down..." he said and went back to the room he was hiding in. You followed him.

He sat on the bed and gently tapped the space next to him.

"C'mere... Let's have a... chat..." he smiled at you gently and rested his back against the wall. You sat next to him with a curious look as he speaks up.

"So... I know I fucked up... Miss Sonia didn't deserve that" he mumbles, looking down with a guilty expression. "But at the same time.. I... don't really know how else to show her how I feel... My parents never really... taught me how to handle emotions... But it doesn't matter now... She's got real close with that demon lord or whatever he calls himself"

"Kaz..." you sigh. "I know, rejection sucks but... I'm sure you're going to find someone that knows how to take care of you, someone who loves you for you..." you smile at him and pat his shoulder. "Even if that person isn't Sonia... There must be someone out there.."

"Where?" Kazuichi frowns. "I won't ever find my match and you know it... I'm like that one sock at the bottom of the drawer, always lonely and"

You suddenly press your lips on his, making him shut up in the middle of his dialogue.

"That someone is right here, Kaz..." you whisper to his lips. "I may or may not destroy our friendship but I don't care... I am that person..."

"Man... what since when why..." he starts asking every question that comes into his mind. Nonetheless, you quickly. make sure he stays silent.

"Just shut up and enjoy the moment" you kiss his soft lips once again, wrapping your arms around him. Pulling him close, not letting him escape your touch.

Kazuichi's eyes slowly flutter close, as he kisses you back, letting himself go under your touch.

Your hands start to wander around his chest. Slowly caressing each spot through his overall then zipping it down to reach under it...

"Are you surre this is a good idea?" he breathed out.

"Do you feel better?"

"Yes" he whispered.

"Then yes..." you kissed his lips again. "It is a good idea.." You smiled and slowly tugged his overal off his chest.

You now began placing passionate kisses all over him. Starting right under his ears, steadily working your way down his neck, stopping at the collarbone and then repeating the said path in reverse. Now going up, every now and then gently sucking on his skin, leaving hickeys. He let out soft sighs of pleasure, his eyes fluttering after each kiss.

"Let me take care of you too" he tried to switch things up but you stopoped him with a firm expression.

"I am the one comforting you" you took your shirt off, making him blush and his eyes lit up in excitement.

"Actually...Keep going" he said with sparkling eyes, as you went down on him with a sly smile. You kissed him like there was no tomorrow, making sure all of your love went through. All the love, admiration, and comfort. Everything that was boiling inside you whenever you thought about Kazuichi But despite your order, his hands began wandering too. Pushing your clothes down, guiding you into his lap.

"Ride me" he pleaded.

"Any time" you replied and began grinding your hips. Back and forth in his lap. Kazu groaned, feeling the pressure of yourbody. His patience on edge, his mind wishing for the clothes to disappear. Both of you bit down on your lips to keep the silence. , Trembling, shaky breaths leaving his mouth he spoke up again.

"We can be as loud as we want... Just please ride me already" he pleaded again, whining under you. He was so on edge, so impatient. So ready for everything to come crashing down.

"I’ll get right to the point, I promise...” you continued to rock yourself back and forth, putting more and more pressure on his body. Even you started to tremble and placed your hands on his chest for support. Gently grabbing onto his small pecks, feeling muscle tensening at your touch. 

"Don't just promise me. Do it"

The next morning the two of you were walking back to the first island. Hand in hand, smiling as the sun was coming up.

"So.... We're together?"Kazuichi asked.

"I am not sure" you replied. "All I know is that..."

The two of you entered the first island. You quickly grabbed his hat and placed it on your head.

"That I need your stupid hat... My hair is a mess..."

"Mine too!" he tried to get his hat back.

"Yours is alway a mess, Kazu. Mine not" you giggled. He rolled his eyes.

"Love you dork,.. And your comforting touch..."

[hearthouses]

top 4 works of 2023

I was tagged by @nameslikeguns and also @preseriesdean was an inspiration, but I modified it to four because I'm not super proud of any of my edits this year and I wasn't able to squeeze out another fic before the end of the year, so we're going with top four! I am also not going to rank them, but list them in chronological order from their posting date.

This year was a better year than the last two in terms of writing output, I had a rough 2021 and posted nothing, and only posted one fic in 2022, so four is a massive improvement, even if it feels miniscule compared of other people's outputs. The Fall was when I was most productive and I am very proud of what I wrote then, exploring concepts I was particularly interested in, even if it's not the most popular and putting myslf out there regardless.

I think I would have continued that streak had I not gotten covid, then 2+ months of complications from covid, but I am trying to drag myself out of that funk. I am hoping to write more in 2024 as I have so many WIPs I want to get to and finish.

Anyway, here's the list:

1. when you're smiling and astride me

This was the first work I posted this year. It felt good to write it, but it also came with some challenges because I wrote it for an exchange and I was very nervous with some of the concepts and how they would go over. But the exchange itself was based on the idea of freeing your id and going wild, so I eventually just went with it and this was the result. I really love exploring Dean's feelings about his body and gender expression, and how Sam helps with it, and my only regret is I wish it was longer.

2. you say, go fast (i say, hold on tight)

This was written in a haze of early Fall because of another exchange that created a level of freedom that unlocked something in my brain that kept me from second guessing myself. It sprang from a concept fanvid and I came up with the idea wholesale from some mental images and let the story happen. I'm very fond of the result, even if it feels saccharine and too sweet and romantic for some. I really love the vibes and the imagery, plus how in love Sam and Dean are.

3. the landscape after cruelty

The process for this fic was grueling. No idea was working the way I wanted, so I needed to come up with a new idea altogether and at times, I almost didn't finish this fic. I have no playlist because I needed quiet to work on this. None of my usual preparations for writing fic worked for this one. The subject matter was daunting and I'm still unsure if I accomplished what I set out to, but I am proud of it. It's not very popular and I wonder if I hit the wrong notes often, but I'm also very protective of it. It's a weird fic that I'm not sure how I feel about the end result 100%, but I had to at least try and explore my feelings around the subject matter.

4. we could live forever in each other’s faces

This fic was written during the height of my illness. It wasn't supposed to be the fic I wrote because I had bigger plans (longer, more complicated fics), so I needed to scale them down to something more managable. How I did that was I chose to write the scenes in a series of drabbles, double drabbles, and triple drabbles, so I could focus on the preciseness of the word count. While this style of writing might feels limiting, it helps me to focus. I really love the dreamy, fairytale-like result of this. I still want to write a longer fic about these themes, but I am glad I wrote this all the same.

[creetchure]

Please tell me about your ideas for the fallout for like everyone post gotham war (if not everyone than just Jason is fine too, i am very curious about your ideas for an arc for him)

hi hello!!! my thoughts are more directed to jason because he's the one who went through the brunt of things, BUT i have thoughts on all of them. i also have sort of separate thoughts because of the detective comics anouncement, but they contain spoilers for the future issues of detective comics, so if you don't want that, i'm putting it under read more after this.

also typing this and realizing it's REALLY long, so i'm gonna put a tldr at the end of each character LMAO

first off, dick is never forgiving bruce for this. we know exactly how protective of his siblings he is -- he killed joker for implying having killed tim -- and i can't see him letting this slide, no matter how much bruce pleads the "it wasn't me i was being influenced by the personality i created as a backup". Of course, because they're bruceanddick and they're always in a cycle of coming back to each other, eventually, little by little, dick is going to start working with him again, but i don't think this is something he'll ever *forgive*. or forget for that matter. so to me, this should spark an arc of nightwing becoming more separate from batman than he's been in years.

TL;DR: Dick isn't forgiving bruce for this, but will eventually work with him again

second off. there are a lot of things i would like to see for jason, some more likely than others. ill start by what i *know* won't happen, but would be best for his character imo.

Jason is a character we've seen move forward and backwards so many times, mostly because he sells well, and so the writers keep him stuck in this red hood limbo of eing a loner and making friends, and hating bruce and forgiving him, and it's been the same arc since his resurection, and i'm tired. which is why i think what'd be best for him is an Oracle arc, for lack of a better term.

Jason will never leave Gotham for an extended period of time. it's home to him as much as it is to Bruce. he might go away for a bit (id like to see him in Blud but ill get into that later), but he'll always come back. he also will never give up trying to protect Gotham and the people in it, because he never has. But he can't be a vigilante in the same way anymore, functionally, what Bruce has done to him is profoundly disabling in day to day life, let alone doing things that are made to trigger the panic response.

I don't think that should stop him. Personally, my vision for it is to put him at the head of a spy network, to render Batman obsolete and stop major crime before it even happens (potentially also feeding batman fake info to make him look bad), but like. you could do other things. it's just the idea that i'm going with.

But I do think that unlike Dick, jason is going to forgive bruce for this (against his better sense or wishes. he does understand how fucked this is) because he understands altered states of mind (NOT talking about the pit. talking about good old fashioned brain fuckery). but it's also going to cause a rift in their relationship that i don't see them bridging anytime soon, and Jason *will* be extremely uncomfortable for a long time.

Thats only if they don't walk back the panic thing, though, which i firmly believe they will. a Red Hood solo has been in the works for ages, and is supposed to come p soon, and i doubt they'd start it off with Jason unable to *be* Red Hood. They might not fully fix it, but they'll make it much more manageable.

overall, i'd like to see Jason in Bludhaven after this for a bit. I kind of just want a focus on him and Dick for a while, though I dread what Tom Taylor might write of the two of them. I'd also like a mantle change, but that's just me dreaming.

TL;DR: if it was up to me, Jason would have an Oracle arc and be the head of a spy network. it's not, and all I can hope for is Jason moving to Bludhaven and detaching himself from Bruce for a while

third off, tim. I don't have many thoughts about him, if I'm honest, mostly because he's one of the least directly affected by Bruce's actions, imo. i'm also less of a fan of his character, making it harder for me to see all the implications that this arc will have on him. I do firmly believe that he'll stick to his siblings rather than Bruce, because he does know how to look at reality and call out Bruce's bullshit.

TL;DR: i don't know/don't care enough about Tim to have that many thoughts. he'll pick his siblings side.

fourth! Cass! She isn't really present in the event much (doesn't sell as well i assume) but this is important to me so. To me, this causes damage to her and Bruce's relationship as well, that he'll have to work to fix. She is loyal to the Bat and what the symbol represents before she is loyal to the man wearing the suit, and I think that to her, this is betrayal of the ideals Batman stands for. bruce isn't a hero in this arc, and he's not a symbol of hope like the bat stands for. What I would like for Cass is for her to keep going on the missions, keep doing good, but doing so independantly from Batman. She stops answering to him entirely up until she feels he has made amends and has worked himself back to the standard he used to be. I want her to stay in Gotham, and keep protecting it the way the Bat should, even from the bat himself.

TL;DR: cass should stay in Gotham and be batman and not return Bruce's calls.

Damian is the one i'm not exactly sure i know where the writers are leading, but i can still speculate and tell you what *id* do.

we know that him and bruce are still going to be friendly and on the same side by the end of this from Batman and Robin #1. we also know Damian in that issue is kind of distant, doesn't really stick around Bruce much. Williamson's damian always reads sort of. depressed. so idk how much of that is in reaction to Gotham war or just from the way Williamson characterizes him, but there's that.

Imo, Damian will forgive bruce, but is also internalizing a lot of the bad shit that happen in Gotham war. Bruce leaving him needs to be something that stays, because he's 14 and his dad is his hero and he left him behind *anyway* and that's bound to fuck you up.

So I think Damian is staying in Gotham, and he's staying with Bruce, but he's also going to be dealing with the aftermath of that for a while, potentially up to a boiling point, which i'd really like to see. Also i'd like to see this compound with the fact that Talia left him with his father, and how that computes together in his head etc etc.

TL;DR: Damian will stick by Bruce for better or for worse, and might have a shit time mentally dealing with the aftermath of this.

I don't have many thoughts on steph, babs, or selina, since 1) i don't know selina and babs well enough to speak on their character, and 2) steph hasn't been there much, and i don't have a Vision for her like i do for Cass.

okay. those are my thoughts. Now for those on the tec announcement

right so. forget literally all i've said about bruce, because he's going to die.

I'm not pulling this out of thin air, in issue 1080 of detective comics, it's said that Bruce is killed by the orghams, leading to the entirety of gotham city forgetting him. Now, I have no idea how this is getting implemented, so I can't say much about how the members of the Batfamily will react. But I can say that this is, in fact, the natural progression for bruce's character.

in the past year or so, both Zdarski and Ram V have been talking about how Bruce is getting too old, and putting more tangible, permanent consequences on what he does (losing a hand, zur, etc).

On top of that, he has been made to make amends with Dick, Tim, and Jason over the course of that same year (nightwing 100, cheer, failsafe arc, etc)

To me, this arc is the culmination of months of foreshadowing.

Though i'll admit, i thought they were going to just retire bruce for a little while, not fucking *kill him*. it won't last for more than a few years, he sells too well, but i genuinely thought this would be like a knightfall situation.

when it comes to the question of who gets to be batman (i swear, last paragraph and i'm done), i think that gotham war also serves to tell us that *no one* will be. I don't see Dick picking it up in those conditions, Jason won't either, Tim is scared of becoming batman, and Damian might but they won't really let him. ofc they won't let Cass take up the mantle either.

Woo. hope you're happy with this and tihs wasn't more than you bargained for. i'm a bit insane about this.

[pyromanicsghost]

I genuinely don't understand why people hate the new season. Spoilers to follow.

To start, the Five and Lila subplot was shit. I won't front - it existing outside of the plot made it easy for me to just act like it didnt happen. Diego and Lila and Five deserved better and it sounds like the actors knew it. But if a bad romance subplot could ruin a whole show, I'd hate a lot more things.

I'm on the fence about Klaus's plot - felt like sidelining him and was questionable. But also a natural part of Klaus's life. Lila had her kids, Allison had Claire, Diego his family, on and on. Klaus's whole life was avoiding being sober and then a huge focus on sobriety. This is his thing. All y'all loved his drugged antics and it gets messy and sad especially when facing it post rock bottom and change.

I see a lot of Ben being unimportant complaints - Ben was always auxilary and a mcguffin there to bond or split the group - Umbrella Ben was a concept, a guilt source, Klaus's conscience, Klaus's id...never a character and dead before the show ever began. Sparrow Ben was literally never part of this family and plot about the family embracing him would have been nice, but him having his own solo quest because he is alone in this world was also fine. Jennifer was a plot device - and in a comic book show about another apocalypse thats not neccessarily a bad thing - especially with a group of dynamic characters I care about on the board.

I see a lot of complaints about the lack of fun villains. What was Sy (I know who was in him but that performance was fun)? Gene and Jean? Those are classic villains that are right up there with the Swedes and the Handler. Hazel & Cha Cha are still standouts but thats not cause these guys sucked.

I see a lot of ending complaints - going from "it was all for nothing" to "it was harmful". If it was harmful for you please be safe and that's a personal decision each time - but also that's media sometimes. It wasn't an irresponisble move like The Magicians or 13 Reasons or other things that just don't consider the audiences needs in order to gain shock value and I don't think they did anything irresponsible with it.

(I am a survivor of unalive attempts, one right after magicians so I get it. And I'm a year sober re: Klaus stuff.)

But, I loved the ending. I don't think it was all for nothing. They saved thier families! They saved everyone! The whole world! Universe! Future and past! Their moms! Hundreds of people who died in their fight to save it, on either side because without the conflict caused by them they're lives were different! I wish the Flash, or Winchesters, or anyone else who keeps ruining lives and causing death and strife sometimes on an apocalypse scale or multiverse timesplit scale had, at literally any point, said "Actually we should value this over my mom/brother/self"...like the scale was apocalyptic. That has a cost. And wow they fixed more than even I hoped. The families? Nice. Hazel and his diner wife are where I got emotional - very nice touch to show everyone.

Why isn't there a kugelblitz? Either the deletion of the timelines and that energy removed the issue Golden Compass style or its a fun comic book show with time assassins and a new element called marigold.. take your pick. It's never been that deep.

The marigolds at the end were probably not thought about as much as anyone on here has. I thought it was just a fun finale goodbye, like getting a bouqet at curtain. I liked that Ben and Lila both had one.

Genuinely confused and had to write to the void and see if I'm alone or crazy. I recommend a lot of people read and watch more media for literacy and stop hoping for plots that are fanservice as they often tank good things and fanfiction and your imagination remain goated, often better, or touch grass and realize the silly fun comic book apocalypse multiverse romp may just be a lil dumb and that's okay...if you read all that I'd love feedback 🩷

And I loved so much more than this stuff! Claire being an actualized young adult and loving her uncle and mom and being a teen? Viktor getting the validation he craved. Diego getting his skills and lust for life back. The fucking cut from baby shark to "He's dying" and so many shots/editing/music choices that highlight the dark comedy this show is.

[hellokittyballsack]

WAIT. DO U ALSO HC DRIX AS TRANSFEM. OR AM I. LOSING MY MIND.

I DO IN A WAY ? ITS COMPLEX SORRY

i dont like labels but i do refer to drix as she/her because i see her motherly love and gentle soul that she carries around on her sleeve. i love her sm... ARGHH also i love ur pfp

(im gonna use this opportunity to rant about labels since i was looking for an opportunity to share this somewhere NOT MAD AT U OR ANYTHING LOL TLDR: hairy balding cis men are beautiful women the way they are ♥️ masculinity can be feminine vice versa if you let it be🖖)

you can skip blue text and just read the green part, blue's more of a personal experience laadeedaa!!

🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻

with a lot of my fav cis male characters i tend to slowly start calling them she/her the more i love them, dont really know why but i think thats just me projecting since im a trans man so i cant really enjoy femininity authentically, yknow? (or the way i want to) ide get misgendered since the body i was born with is "female" or "feminine". 🍅 🍅 🍅

plus im almost certain if i was somehow flipped and born a cis man ide still end up transitioning(not medically but thats a personal thing) and then yearning for masculinity, simply because i hate how these bodies limit the perception people have of me. i want to be my own person, identify as me first, not to have my label define me or my identity for that matter bc identity is SO much more complex than just one word.

its like Ying Yang but sadly i cant ever be a true neutral because that would mean dressing androgynous which i cant do because me, dressing androgynous, would just be a boyish girl. and me dressing masculine would get the results of "being seen as androgynous" because of how my body is naturally. but is that fair at all? so the only thing i can do to be seen as masculine is to medically change my body? ☹️

and i dont want to be seen as androgynous either at all, i love my male identity, dont love what comes with it but love it. and want to be perceived as masculine, ..but being androgynous is the only way you can build up your identity on your own without someone viewing you with a gender filter on their glasses.(sorry for the shit metaphor) and after people find out whats in your pants they will immediately talk to you differently and that SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! if i want to put on a dress that doesnt make me a woman or a feminine man, let me enjoy this dress, masculine-ly ‼️‼️🤲 PLEASE

🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻

(⚠️this isnt relative to the asked question as explained prior, use labels all you want guys but know its okay if someone doesnt use labels ect ect. just explaining the jist here quickly⚠️) sometimes people use labels to put others into boxes and focus on "whats womanly" / "whats manly" --- so its difficult to have people respect your identity while "breaking the rules" (their rules) of said identity. aswell as people focusing on the physical. (body and such) rather than finding beauty in feminine and masculine features you have without that lowering your validity of said identity. this being said that usually happens in heteronormative spaces BUT it occasionally slips in into the lgbtq community.

masculinity can be femininity vice versa, its not just black and white 🫂 body hair can be both for example, even in "masculine" areas, it still can be feminine. and that should go for any body part, clothes, action, interest or anything for that matter ♥️♥️

🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻

like with peter strahm from Saw (aswell as mark hoffman) thru months of writing scenarios between them and my brainrot i now see them as the most beautifully gorgeous women and that includes all their hairy appendages. that doesnt necessarily mean i headcanon them as transfem, i see their "male" bodies to be the peak of feminine beauty, as well as their masculinity. i mean that i dont "genderbend" them and turn them into cis women, and i dont add or take away from the original character, longer hair or a sudden change of clothes, or trans scars even though im trans myself and will probably end up with such scars (in a perfect world i would be seen as male with or without boobs) theyre perfect the way they are and i love them dearly oh so much 🫂🫂🫂🫂....(not saying its bad to do any of that, live your truth) i may draw them wearing dresses or lipstick time to time but thats not what defines their identity as women, who says theyre 100% only women either fuck it lets go full genderqueer!! theyll never be cis women yes, but thats not what my goal is at all. trans love everybody ♥️ transexual pride!! ♥️♥️(and even if you dont identify as trans but still arent cis ♥️♥️youre valid however you feel, whenever ⭐) But that doesnt mean i headcanon them as trans also, theyre them, and i want to see them shine, not being shadowed by a label or limited by one, that goes for Drix too. that doesnt mean im against such label, though theres really no way of explaining without it SOUNDING like i am, go fuckall with your headcanons imagination is free!!!! just labels arent for me AND THATS OKAY

theyre all my girls who are boys who are girls MUAH 💋

[w1f1n1ghtm4r3]

followup fun facts about together, to that promised aquarium

this is gonna be just kinda a disorganized post of random things so uh. dont mind that.

the event title is actually a double reference ^^ its both a callback to 1dt with 1c promising to find time to do things as friends despite getting busier (even if theres no ichika this time), and also a reference to harusakis first kizuna!

colopale you still havent given us that aquarium they said theyd go to. theres a reason i had to do it myself. the fact that theres not an aquarium event in general is a crime tbh i know theres some romantic connotations with a pair going to an aquarium but theres very easy solutions to avoiding that? sending a group of 3+ characters together, having them run into other characters while there, inviting someone else along (even if they cant go, it helps make it feel more like a friend thing i think). i did a bit of the latter two, as you mightve noticed! in general though its just SUCH an obviously fun event theme i cant beleive we havent had one yet

while i am a known harusaki shipper, i kept the story pretty light on the stuff that could be read as explicitly shippy, since when im trying to make fake events, i like to think about how itd work in canon, which means keeping it low on explicit ship content. plenty of stuff that could be taken as ship food (as id like it to be!) but nothing that would alienate non shippers from enjoying the story too.

i actually didnt write shizukasas presence as intended for ship content at all though, but im definitely okay with people taking it that way lol they can be on a date too if you want them to be. my plan with them was simply theyre childhood friends too but dont get to spend time together that often anymore -> their schedules line up with a free day and tsukasa heard about the aquarium from saki, decides to invite shizuku to go there with him as a part of hanging out together -> surprise encounter with harusaki!

also both of them were scoring quite high on the form when i decided to lock in the lineup (tsukasa was absolutely sweeping the 2* category, and while shizuku wasnt winning anything, she was a pretty popular choice) and theyre very easy to work into a story together and also into a story that is focused on harusaki (╯▽╰ ) the benefits of siblings and unitmates

(tsukasa 2* poll sweep at the time of me solidifying my lineup)

the event and gacha names actually both came to me one night while i was about to fall asleep. struck by inspiration so strong i had to grab my phone and write them down in my notes app. and they actually worked very well! also heres the transparents of the logos if you want them i guess

the card/skill/costume names also mostly came to me in similar ways, in the last couple nights before i finished everything. i think only saki, luka, and shizukus skills didnt come to me that way.

while the rui fish in tsukasa card might be obvious, theres actually more animals referencing other characters too! theres a group of three fish in sakis card that are the colors of the rest of leoni, the sneakiest of the bunch, and also not quite as sneaky but maybe not as obvious as the rui fish is the airi and minori sea slugs :)

i did think about giving tsukasa fish to be emu and nene too, but that many differently colored fish in a 2* seemed like too much, so i didnt do it... at least of the units involved, 2/3 of them are fully represented in some way!

and now most importantly probably, is that this is in fact my second pass at an aquarium event! the original one i started back in 2022 and......... i think you guys can figure out why i couldnt just reuse it when i decided to go for making an aquarium event again this time.

yep, youre seeing that right. 4/5 of the characters i chose are the same as what ended up being 1dt, all i got wrong was the vs. thats pretty crazy, honestly. im still not fully convinced colopale isnt just stealing my ideas after val3 happened too /j

it was also saki focus actually! i had written out a rough idea for the story back then too, and while theres some similarities to the current one, it obviously went through a lot of changes when revising the lineup and also with everything that has happened in the story over the past two years. it was definitely a bit more explicitly shippy than my new attempt, although i still tried to keep the shipping stuff toned back somewhat

i only ever made one card for that set though, just lukas 2*... but thats the original reason i made the old 2* backgrounds! its always those fake events throwing me into the graphic design trenches (fist shake) i had been trying to do a more canon-accurate style to......... mixed success. its not terrible, but i definitely could not have done the full set like this. theres a reason i did promised aquarium in my own style!

the original theme for the set was kind of like..... performers at an aquarium? along with living water sculptures of animals. it was a fun idea, but i think i was much better suited to doing the underwater scenes of promised aquarium and also we have plenty of performance themed trained sets already ^^

considering i also technically kept her from the original set (plus she was also winning the vs poll), i gave her a higher rarity card this time around for fun. and also because i knew none of shizuku tsukasa or luka would have super significant roles in the story, and i thought it would be fun to design a lim hairstyle for her!

one final random fun fact: the thing that kicked me into gear making promised aquarium was the fact that haruka wasnt on beautiful sound. i was just a little mad that they had an underwater set WITH A PENGUIN COSTUME and there was no haruka. sometimes petty beef brings out my craziest motivations and then i proceeded to spend the better part of a month planning and making it happen.

[lolishdes]

Soooo after reading part 2 of the story i fell asleep and gawd dayum when i woke up i suddenly had an idea well more likely my brain created a plot, so the plot goes like this

The divorce was processed and now the reader is successfully out of diluc's clutches (tho the divorce created so many backlash but that doesn't matter anyways so-) and after some therapy and comfort from Alhaitham they are now a couple, 5 years later the reader was sitting in a park bench (lol cliché i know) and suddenly someone approached her lo and behold it was diluc (oh my gawd so effin clichéééééé) he was like "y/n is that you?" (Like bish use your eyes) and the reader was like "oh it's you, good afternoon mr.ragvindr" and diluc asked if he can sit beside reader and the reader said ok and then diluc proceeds to ask how they've been and the reader said that they've been happier after the divorce and the reader also proceeds to ask the same and made a remark that diluc must've married jean after the divorce and that he also has a family that he's been dreaming about because jean also revealed that she's pregnant after they got divorced and diluc answered "actually no i did not continue my relationship to jean because she cheated on me with my half brother, kaeya and she's pregnant with his child" and then you said "oh that's so sad, well maybe that's your karma(lol not me being petty), I'm just kidding" and then diluc laugh's and said that it's alright and that he agrees that maybe it is his karma for what he did to you back then, and then he proceeds to tell you that he's been looking for you and that he's sorry for what he did and that he regrets it (yeah BS i know) and that if you wanted to start over again and some other cliché shit like that, you stood up and was about to answer his disgusting question when you suddenly felt something wrapped up around your waist and then you heard "mommy!, we're sorry that we made you wait" and then followed up by "yes we're sorry my love, there was a kid throw a tantrum because the ice cream that he wanted was out of stock" and when you turned around it was AlHaitham carrying nahida (the youngest 3yrs old) and the one who's hugging you is yaoyao(the oldest 5 yrs old), Alhaitham noticed diluc's presence and he looked at diluc and said that why is he here and what does he want from you but diluc was not listening as he has his focus on yaoyao, and yada yada yaoyao is the child of diluc and since that I'm petty yaoyao knows what his father did and refuses to acknowledge him as her father and that her only father is Alhaitham and that made diluc more miserable and ofc diluc tried to take yaoyao through court but that didn't happen because Haitham is a lawyer a smart one at that and diluc lost the case and now he miserable for the rest of his life lol

I actually wanna write the full details but my braincells suddenly reduced from 100 to -1 so yeah HAHAHAHA i know that this shit is cliché AF but hear me out-💀 btw i stalked your acc and dayum i love how you write your smuts😩🫶

HAHHAHA no no its okay if they can be cliche, just speak your heart out! And yes I did somewhat have a similar idea to what you have! A happy ending for Reader and Haitham, but as for Diluc and Jean? I don't have a definite ending for them, actually I'd rather they just erase themselves and stay away from Reader and Haitham's lives.

Reader already had enough shit coming from Diluc and Jean, its her time to just move on and look at the future she and Haitham would share. But id definitely give an ending wherein those two get their karma for what they’ve done.

But anyways you guys can interpret what happens to Reader and Haitham in anyway you all want! After all, although Haitham dropped the love bomb, reader never explicitly said she loves him back too so 👀 ooohh drama~ HAHA Just know that theres no definite ending that I give in these stories so you guys can brain rot away haha (Also there a low chnace for a part 3, but we'll see. I want to focus on other works thats why hehe)

Also eeepp!! You checked my other works? 🥺 I am so glad to hear that, expect more in the future then! 💕

[capybaraonabicycle]

Heyaaa, for the wip ask game, I'd love to know about 5, 15, 16, 23, 27! <3 Hope you're having a good dayyy

I am having the best day 🥰🥰 no, seriously, I saw another butterfly that was all black and had little white/pink ornaments at the tip of the wings. I wanted to take a picture for you but it was gone in an instant, unfortunately. And I've just had great food and I got to write a little today, so I am feeling amazing :)

Let's see (I'm gonna do the cat fic bc that is all I am thinking about atm) :

5. What are the main themes?

Trust, Friendship, Manipulation, Identity, Love, Secrets

(In that order of importance, I think. Feel free to ask about any of them and I can tell you more on why I put them here :) )

15. What do you like about this wip

There's a cat! And my favourite characters!! Admittedly, I have quite many of those in dw but I love writing for the fam and River. Always a joy! I also get to focus a lot more on Yaz x Ryan than I originally planned and that is such a treat. They're so good for each other and the mutual support is making me very happy. Also, River gets to be a sneaky little devil and while that is also kinda giving me a headache, I am living for it :)

Plus, writing 'River forces the Doctor to confront her feelings for Yaz' is my favourite thing ever because

she totally would

I kinda want to do it myself (I like how thasmin was executed for most of it but it remains frustrating. I just wanted more for Yaz. I love her. She deserves a happy ever after with the Doctor (and River))

16. What do you find frustrating about this wip

The length! This was supposed to be a silly little one-shot, where did the plot come from?!

The plot itself is another thing : It is complicated to make it work in general and specifically, I wanted to have some alien baddies involved. And like most of what they should have been able to do could have been achieved by either the cybermen - but the fam doesn't know about them until right before Ryan and Graham leave (nevermind that I am busy breaking canon anyway) - or the timelords - which would have been missing a tiny detail and also I did not know who to pick there as - well Gallifrey's gone right?. And then I looked for alternatives but couldn't find any so in the end I made up some species - which I don't feel entirely comfortable with and it isn't like the most inventive idea anyway and doesn't feel necessary you know? Well I kinda fixed that issue but created new ones and just - why does there have to be plot? I'm not a plot writer. I write pretty little pictures of characters interacting. Not adventure stories. Anyway. Good to challenge yourself and stuff.

23. How would you describe your writing style

Kinda messy ngl. I don't have my computer, so I have been writing on my phone. And just. Don't do that?

But well, there are not many descriptions so far - might need to add those - but loads of dialogue and internal monologue. Like, whoever enjoys listening to Yaz having a queer breakdown for pages and pages will have fun with the fic :)

Also quite a few timejumps and 'this is what happened before/after summarised in 2 sentences' passages, especially in the beginning. Complete with Yaz's comments on them. Like, really, this fic is for Yaz fans. (I hope. Unless I wrote her badly, but I really hope I didn't.)

27. Look for three images which best showcase the overall aesthetic for your WIP

[ID: Top image: grey and blue warehouse-like hall with steam and machinery. Dimly lit and rundown. Middle image: brown tabby cat with yellow eyes lying on a pillow (maybe?). Bottom image: still from Halloween apocalypse, Yaz and the Doctor falling onto a mattress. end ID ]

I know the last one's not really an aesthetic - not quite sure the second one is either but cats and cozy, you get it - but just imagine I am the safety net that's throwing them there. And then you get an accurate idea if what 50% of the fic is like (= me putting them into a bed together and them being very platonic about it even though the feelings aren't)

[sakhi]

My Experiences

So a lot has happened throughout my journey of last year and this current one and the moon has turned out to be a pivotal sign for me in this physical life and in my own thoughts because it symbolizes a relationship which i have with god but also someone who i never expected to be my biological brother Lucifer Morningstar.

throughout my spiritual journey especially last year he has been giving me signs but not just last year because he was omnipotent back in 2019 when i was suffering through peer pressure of trying to be a cool kid or thug for that say, example one time when lucifer showed himself for the first time in me and worked when i was on the streets looking for someone to mug or rob but that's not the main thing you should focus on because during that event of me trying to rob people he was bringing out my latent spiritual ability that came out as soon as i cracked the numbers and quite frankly he was cutting out lights and streets where dark whenever I would pull up to them but him being the real person he was never spoke and made it look like it was me all along which at this moment I'm not too sure myself but quite frankly he confirmed as I am writing this that it was me.

moving on. as time went by during that time of my awakening i was going through a lot emotionally because i didn't really have an identity so fast forward up till 2020. but what you must realize ladies and gentlemen is that Lucifer never left me ever since and this was before him and Jesus and Moses should me their contracts about lifetime commitment on working on a prophet.

so during this time i went through alot of eye-opening experiences but im mention them all starting with the second eye opening things that happened.

which was the time where my mind was curious to the metaphysics and the symbolisms and sigils, so what happened i was watching paranormal activities 2 and quite frankly there was a scene whereby the toby (possesd ajeza) which her name was ajeza which later on became one of my wives in the after life. but what happens in the scene is that Ajezas wife buys and Ouija board and suggests to ajeza that maybe communicating to the spirit and asking it to leave would be another solution to getting the demon out the house. so what happens they try it out and suddenly what happens when they do try it out, no respones. so they go out shopping for groceries and during the time the left. the ouiji board lit up on fire and there was so much wind inside the house youd think it was at at the beach. but two symbolizes showed up one was a triangle which is on one of the pictures i posted to go along with this post the other was a circle with another circle within it and two horns. now tbf i couldnt find the symbol of the the circle with horns on it but moving on. the day after id watched that movie it stuck on my mind because i was wondering why that symbolism was so powerful becuase i was curious to how i can use that shit too. so what happened i had a mainframe and quite frankly if you want to understand what a mainframe is simply put. its like a body or a mind computer thats connected to the universe that allows use to alter realities. so i had a mainframe and the truth of it all since i was the person that cracked pyschological numbers that we all do somehow i was shown a mainframe and when id put those to sigils or symbols of toby or you can call her ajeza (toby demon name) i ended up summoning her in my hood and when that happened lots of things happened in america becuase fire broke out and cnn had video footage of that very same triangle burning in the forest the sad part boys and girls i couldnt find a picture to show you.

moving on to 2022.. this was a critical time because this was when i became cooked instead raw awakening. so come the time january and id lost my numbers thinking i did but Lucifer had put me on 58 the whole time, and i was still working security i came to point where by i didnt like the numbers i was doing primarily because i lost the number i was doing for a long time which was 9. little did i know how significant Lucifers numbers mean at the time cause i didnt know.

so a day came when I was talking to a friend of mine Thabiso and i told him i want get back in the numbers which i did because i sat myself down to a peace of paper started doing my times table etc etc and i got my numbers back i was doing 9 7 8 6 and even 10 11 14 and those where the numbers i did so whats critical about this is that when i told myelf i wanted to get back in the numbers significant things happened becuase id connected myself to the whole solar system and even the suposed jesus at the time to later figure out this year was the actual year hed came alive cause i brought him back. not to life but to life in the after life because what he told me was that when he got crucified he also had a nail in his third eye (inbetween the eyebrows) something that was never spoken about.

so after id connected to all the planets even the so called heaven that to only figure out at this moment was Lucifers heaven, id linked up to it and alot changed on that very same day. fake Jesus well he was king at the time because lucifer had allowed it and like it or not there are tons of fake god clones in the afterlife and quite frankly the biggest challenge for me and my god Lucifer whose my brother are banks( clones of people who are real). now track back again when id discovered that heaven fake jesus lost his position of king mainly because of what id said about my theory of why he had said why have you forsaken me. now the critical thing about this is that the people of that heaven take the prophets word seriously and i was and still is the numbered prophet at the time and this time. and the reason for jesus losing his position was straightforward. no one forsaked him a contract was a a contract and Lucifer quite clearly saw that in order for the power of his death to be symbolical and piviotal for the matrix of the universe and for society of today, Jesus had to die in order for him to be glorified and for christianity to be the main law that has civilised us to this date and im not about to break how it did down. and since Lucifer was his god in 1468 around the time Jesus had died he knew this he knew he wasnt supposed to save him that day otherwise people wouldnt believe Jesus existed in the first place.

Moving on the day after I was feeling in my zone knowing these guys were watching over me and during the night time i was walking with my dog which I call eL and i didn't even know that Lucifer, Moses and Jesus where in me at the time and the only thing i had in my mainframe was symbolism and i was chasing away spirits with it so comes to the point whereby im near the carwash of my hood and i smoke a ciggerette and the contracts pull through Lucifer coded out the smoke but they showed, moses symbol and jesuses 3 in one symbol and lucifers symbol which i thought was mine but was his. being me i thought to myself what does this mean and so i dont know how i drew conclusion cause i was caught in two minds one was that are these guys telling me im them two are they telling me they want to work in me. so at that very same moment id asked the dog for advice he literally turned his head to the left and said Lucifer. but what you have to understand is that i had to make a decision, so i evaluated i thought to myself Moses would be good cause i beleive in alot of kemetic stuff and quite frankly it would fit like a glove, then Jesus i honestly thought how am i gonna relate to this guy becuase he was so perfect and quite frankly having hm work in me would be unrealistic for me, based on my own nature, finally Lucifer was the option i went for becuase the only thing i knew at that moment was the fact that he is god of the people and has mastered understanding people nature so I chose him and things changed.

#tobecontinued

[prompt-master]

henlo i am sorry to bother you but i am ten years late to the danganronpa fandom and two years late to your fanfics but i was wondering if you might consider finishing your Bear Trap story? like even if its just a quick lil synopsis of what you wanted to write, or if its an unfinished chapter, id take anything 👉👈

also ur lovely ok bye

Ok this was worded very kindly so I'm going to justify it with a full geniune response.

I'm honestly probably never going to update Bear Trap, but I WILL give you a synopsis. I did however want to first quickly explain why I don't plan on finishing that fic.

To keep a long story short. I kinda hate BT. It was my first fic after a two year break and imo it shows in the quality. I thank BT for temporarily getting me back into the writing groove, but I cringe way too hard looking back on it. I do have an unfinished chapter draft, but I'm not sure if I'd ever post it. I'll have to reread it at some point and see how I feel.

I would also like to say that if anyone else is willing to write the last part, I am more than willing to work with them.

Now, here is what I had planned for BT, bare (haha bear) in mind that it's messy because it was just self indulgent nonsense:

The format of BT was meant to go; build up, impact, aftermath. With each chapter focusing on a different story beat.

There was going to be a fake chapter released only on tumblr where Naegi died, only for the characters to go "did you actually think that would happen?" meant to poke fun over how many people thought I was going to kill Naegi.

This means the last chapter was going to entirely focus on the aftermath of Naegi's injury. I wanted each character to get an analysis of how they're feeling and each individual relationship would get a spotlight

This also means that. Tbh. The aftermath segment probably would not fit cleanly into one chapter since it would be pretty big.

It began with the hospital ride from the helicopter, Togami and Kiri watching as medics struggle to keep Naegi stable. There's a very dissociative vibe going on.

Because Togami and Kiri are closer to Naegi then they are each other, they don't really know how to comfort each other. It's awkward, quiet. They only speak to share facts and speculation. But there's a moment where they lean shoulder to shoulder.

Naegi was going to lose his leg, and have to get a prosthetic. Some of the fic was going to focus on him relearning how to walk with his new leg with the help of his partners.

I wanted to make sure that Naegi becoming disabled wasn't a "bad" ending. It's obviously upsetting to lose a limb in a tragic accident, and Naegi does have to cope with it. But I wanted to feel more empowering in a "see this shit? It's proof I survived"

Togami was ofc going to lovingly call him a cockroach

There was going to be exploration over how despite being known around the world for surviving a tragedy, they still don't really know how to LIVE with tragedy. They are just forced to keep moving on without getting a moment to breathe.

Due to Naegi seeing how freaked out Togami and Kiri were, he tries to keep everything together and stay lighthearted for their sake. He knows they want to see he's okay. This meant he pushed aside his own coping however.

The fic was going to end with Naegi finally letting out his emotions and crying in front of both of them, admitting that he was scared and thought he was going to die, and that he was so grateful they were there. Even if he had died then, he wouldve been more okay with it if they were with him. But that doesn't mean he was actually okay with it.

Togami negotiates them all a 2 week vacation lmao

If I remember correctly (I did not reread the fic to check, I'm going solely off memory) I was going to make a point about how despite feeling like they nearly lost their chance to tell Naegi they love him, both Tog and Kiri know that a confession shortly after a traumatic experience isn't the best idea. But also, Naegi doesn't need a confession to know they love him.

There were certainty more details to thefic that I can't fully recall ATM, such as the specifics of each individual character/relationship analysis. Let me know if you have any questions! Ty again for your kindness

[s-dazzlegarden]

久しぶり

It's been a while! A ... Very long while.

I apologise. I've been very busy with life. I started part time schooling to get my diploma and I've been doing part time work and indulging in other hobbies.

I had to take a break from watching 2434 vtubers because it got a bit too parasocial. So I took a step back and focused on life.

So.. a lot happened since my last post. Idios, Oriens, Dytica, Krisis debuts, 3D debuts and.. graduations.

It's been over half a year since they debuted. How does everyone feel about the heroes?

I've been very enamoured with Oriens and their dynamic but I like how the heroes have been interacting with each other a lot! (Mostly Oriens and Dytica interactions but all 11 of them in general!)

We had Nijiban in April hosted by Peto and Nagao! 2 livers, one from JP and one from EN respectively to introduce both and bridge the groups!

There was also the formation of a new sub group with their own channel and activities, 七次元生徒会, consisting of Knkn, Akn, Leos, Deron, Ryushen and Sango. I've not watched their content besides the 'King' and 'Queen' cover tbh ehe

And.. graduation..

ID was hit with a mass graduation. ZEA, Taka, Siska, Cia, Azura, Nara and soon Reza and Hyona..

JP had a few on their end. Gundou and Akane.

And EN had their first two official graduation.. Both the foxes has moved on from 2434 and are doing different things in their lives now. Thank you so much Nina and Mysta for all that you have done. (Official graduations because we don't actually know if our dj was forced or what. But if anything, they're doing very well! Ifykyk)

Onto happier news 🥹

Salome-sama had her 3D debut a while back!! And two days ago, Rrn had his! I'm really glad his debut went through because there was so much unsureness regarding his own 3D after Axia's graduation..

A lot of other events in between here and there as well!

Fwcchi hosted his morning radio show in August! It was so fun to watch the different Livers interaction. Fwcchi and Luca interaction always makes me fuwafuwa wwww

Koshien also happened! That was a ride. I kept up with the news and actual event days. Occasionally I did watch the individual coach's streams when I had time to spare!

EN also recently closed auditions for new members so I'm kinda excited to see what new talents they'll bring in for the near future hopefully!

I'm still not really actively watching a lot of the vtubers right now besides Shu and Seraph so I don't think I will be writing much for now. I'll probably be making a side blog that isn't focus on 2434/vtubers and write stories there instead. Because I am having major OP brainrot after watching OPLA and starting the anime.

I've rambled on for so long oop-

Sorry if it wasn't an part 3 (or was it 4?) Of the A Little Something series like you all were expecting.

I'll see you guys again, hopefully sometime soon!