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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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I've been thinking a lot lately about how Kabru deprives himself.
Kabru as a character is intertwined with the idea that sometimes we have to sacrifice the needs of the few for the good of the many. He ultimately subverts this first by sabotaging the Canaries and then by letting Laios go, but in practice he's already been living a life of self-sacrifice.
Saving people, and learning the secrets of the dungeons to seal them, are what's important. Not his own comforts. Not his own desires. He forces them down until he doesn't know they're there, until one of them has to come spilling out during the confession in chapter 76.
Specifically, I think it's very significant, in a story about food and all that it entails, that Kabru is rarely shown eating. He's the deuteragonist of Dungeon Meshi, the cooking manga, but while meals are the anchoring points of Laios's journey, given loving focus, for Kabru, they're ... not.
I'm sure he eats during dungeon expeditions, in the routine way that adventurers must when they sit down to camp. But on the surface, you get the idea that Kabru spends most of his time doing his self-assigned dungeon-related tasks: meeting with people, studying them, putting together that evidence board, researching the dungeon, god knows what else. Feeding himself is secondary.
He's introduced during a meal, eating at a restaurant, just to set up the contrast between his party and Laios's. And it's the last normal meal we see him eating until the communal ending feast (if you consider Falin's dragon parts normal).
First, we get this:
Kabru's response here is such a non-answer, it strongly implies to me that he wasn't thinking about it until Rin brought it up. That he might not even be feeling the hunger signals that he logically knew he should.
They sit down to eat, but Kabru is never drawn reaching for food or eating it like the rest of his party. He only drinks.
It's possible this means nothing, that we can just assume he's putting food in his mouth off-panel, but again, this entire manga is about food. Cooking it, eating it, appreciating it, taking pleasure in it, grounding yourself in the necessary routine of it and affirming your right to live by consuming it. It's given such a huge focus.
We don't see him eat again until the harpy egg.
What a significant question for the protagonist to ask his foil in this story about eating! Aren't you hungry? Aren't you, Kabru?
He was revived only minutes ago after a violent encounter. And then he chokes down food that causes him further harm by triggering him, all because he's so determined to stay in Laios's good graces.
In his flashback, we see Milsiril trying to spoon-feed young Kabru cake that we know he doesn't like. He doesn't want to eat: he wants to be training.
Then with Mithrun, we see him eating the least-monstery monster food he can get his hands on, for the sake of survival- walking mushroom, barometz, an egg. The barometz is his first chance to make something like an a real meal, and he actually seems excited about it because he wants to replicate a lamb dish his mother used to make him!
...but he doesn't get to enjoy it like he wanted to.
Then, when all the Canaries are eating field rations ... Kabru still isn't shown eating. He's only shown giving food to Mithrun.
And of course the next time he eats is the bavarois, which for his sake is at least plant based ... but he still has to use a coping mechanism to get through it.
I don't think Kabru does this all on purpose. I think Kui does this all on purpose. Kabru's Post Traumatic Stress Disorder should be understood as informing his character just as much as Laios's autism informs his. It's another way that Kabru and Laios act as foils: where Laios takes pleasure in meals and approaches food with the excitement of discovery, Kabru's experiences with eating are tainted by his trauma. Laios indulges; Kabru denies himself. Laios is shown enjoying food, Kabru is shown struggling with it.
And I can very easily imagine a reason why Kabru might have a subconscious aversion towards eating.
Meals are the privilege of the living.
#Dungeon Meshi#Delicious in Dungeon#Kabru#Kabru of Utaya#Laios Touden#Dungeon Meshi meta#you can have him in the tags too. as a treat.#Dungeon Meshi spoilers#this was directly inspired by livelaughlaios's post about Kabru self harming but I decided it got too long to make it a direct reply#this is a theory I've been working on for weeks because I kept noticing this while skimming for screencaps#I'm hesitant to trigger tag this because of the way certain subcultures on tumblr operate#but if anyone needs me to add a content warning please let me know#also I included image descriptions! I did my best#I think they even help illustrate my points but my god were they sad to write. Kabru is so fucking sad you guys#musings with Dea
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Still not over the head of cardiology, who said she wouldn't formally diagnose me with dysautonomia because she didn't want me to think of myself as disabled.
As if good vibes and a can-do attitude can stabalize autonomic dysfunction.
#chronic health tag#ableism in our medical system???#it's more likely than you think#I still remember having to inform the ER doctor that the reason MCAS wasn't in my file#was because the head of allergy for the hospital he worked at#'didn't believe in it'#this was one week into the pandemic#and this man touched his face out of exasperation#and muttered something that might have been 'dense mother fucker' under his breathe#anyway#there should be a screening process for people who want to go into medicine#if you think the only disability is a bad attitude#you should be jettisoned from your course and directly into the sun
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nothing personal but this kind of comment rlly exemplifies to me a disconnect between canon and popular fanon jmart characterization because they almost literally had this conversation in canon - except, their lines are swapped!
jon, for all his scared grouchiness, is a secret romantic, while martin, for all his forced optimism, is at his core a pragmatist
#and it's not like it's a throw away line either#its the penultimate episode and leads directly into the 'Where you go I go - that's the deal' convo#and this isnt the first time I've seen people swap them#otherwise i wouldn'tve made a whole post#tma#tma s5#tma finale#jonmartin#tma meta#stole the screenshot from another post because i didnt want to derail what people are mostly reblogging for a cute moment#and y know. it IS cute. that's why it's so weird that people seem to forget how it's nearly literally canon#EDIT: added that tag to the body of the post cause its rlly the conclusion
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house tour :)
bonus art, lossy versions of the first 2 gifs
#ask to tag#unreality#flash warning#art#gif#photomanipulation#ganbreeder#<- for the creatures in the first 2 gifs#horror#surrealism#liminal spaces#weirdcore#creatures#i ended up using the non-lossy versions bc they were better for the effect i wanted#+ i wanted the last one specifically to look like it was corrupting the camera kinda like radiation#but thought id still include the lossy versions cuz theyre neat#the third gif is based off a reoccuring thing from my dreams#some sort of bright white object usually a big orb or disk#that you cant look at directly bc its so bright. its like a welding arc#you can usually touch or move it#it doesnt turn red like that in the dream or glitch out the camera tho thats just for the spooky#well the glitchyness is more bc the non-lossy version compressed the gif badly#so i figured id just play into the compression effect and make it fit the mood better#honestly turned out much cooler. limitations in art etc etc
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I had the uncontrollable urge to animate a skeleton breakdancing so here is Harrow animating a skeleton breakdancing
#gideon the ninth#harrow the ninth#gtn#gtn fanart#my work#tlt fanart#tlt shitposting#tlt#ik this is a lot of tags i just want to share my stupid animation with tha community :)#the locked tomb#gideon nav#harrowhark nonagesimus#i love using blender but i hate that you cant directly export ur work as a gif#necromancy necrodancing
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in honor of laika coming back from the dead to release a new movie, a kubo of mine with some questionable summer fashion. im love he
inspired by @/kittarts' coraline art ;o;/
#idk if tagging directly is rude/annoying#so ima play it safe#inspired by my summer fashion of choice (it is summer in australia)#he play banjo#he probably studies psychology or history or something#something super smart but you dont know that bc he spends most of his time busking and collecting bugs#maybe he's studying to be an entymologist#the bug people#idk how to spell it#kubo and the two strings#kubo: and the two strings#laika studios#laika#kubo#modern au#college au#SORRY TO EVERYONE THAT FOLLOWED ME FOR STORMLIGHT#ILL DRAW STUFF I SWEAR PLEASE DONT LEAV ME EEEEE
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the whole "jason rules crime alley and none of the other bats are allowed there!!1!" thing is so funny like. tim LITERALLY lives in the theater where bruce's parents died,
#rimi talks#sorry. thought about tim doing that again. what is WRONG with him kfjshakjdshfkjd#WITHOUT EVEN TELLING BRUCE UNTIL AFTER HED ALREADY DONE IT TOO.#TIMOTHY. WHY.#this is the other thing abt why i just dont like seeing jtodd in fanwork#whenever he appears like 99% of the time its in a way that is directly contradictory to actual comics#the 1% of people who actually read the comics and write him in such a way? fine great awesome!!#however i still am filtering that bitch out because hes kind of a catch-all for the most annoying batfanon tropes.#because. yknow. theres no other tags to filter out bc they dont Fucking tag it#alas. oh well. anyways can we go back to going hey tim what is wrong with you#because for real i think he got off way too easy for this one.#forget identity reveals i want the core four sleepover where tim's apartment gets its lore reveal#give me cassie doing such a dramatic spit take that she gets ice cream on the ceiling. picks up tim like a weasel. and goes WHY???#and hes just like. idk seemed like the right thing to do :)#tim
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⟢ VOTE INK!!
my obligatory ink propaganda art
vote ink or else /j
link to poll: here
ink belongs to @comyet
#utmv#undertale#undertale au#utmv fanart#inkblott#ink sans#inktale#INK SWEEP#INK SANS SWEEP#error sweep#errorink#errorink sweep#LMAO#PLEASE I NEED INK VS ERROR ON THE POLLS#MAKE INK WIN#sans undertale#sans sweep#sexyman poll#ink vs geno#ink vs error#yes i am directly @ing comyet im a little scared#comyet ily... you are my biggest inspiration....#like ever#thank you for making ink sans hes so special to me#you are so cool!!! and awesome!!!!!#i look up to you a lot#you probably are NOT reading these tags LMFAO#ok ill stop#😭😭🙏#artists on tumblr
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[ ] like a body my same size
+ textless alt
#hello again . i once again bring slightly weird nudity to your tag. lots of needless detail on this one but we gotta be tactile lads#not much commentary besides that though. just getting more into the weeds of acknowledging the selfcest elements extremely directly lol#isat#isat spoilers#isat fanart#in stars and time#in stars and time spoilers#in stars and time fanart#sifloop#isat sloop#isat siffrin#isat loop#lucabyteart#caption is a reference to 'god entered my body like a body my same size' you know it you love it everybody does#no hair dye on siffrin is intentional though mostly just to highlight the light/dark divide more. but it also implies passage of time so
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not-so-old sketches of a very old oc, dust. a critter who is an expert at wriggling itself into Situations :))
bapy/squeaky-rice-grain is unnamed, but is responsible for a) how i draw baby bugs nowadays, evidently, and b) several instances of theft
#oc art#bug people#anthro#original character#how do i tag this????#bugs#its hands are gooey because it sticks them into things constantly#bapy was also dubiously acquired#thankyou dust for directly influencing the way i drew my hollow knight bugs later on#i love you dust#queruloustea
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Constantly plagued with thoughts of Edwin now knowing he enjoys being courted and Charles (compulsive charmer) with a whole new arsenal up his sleeve (laser focus on Monty’s whole deal)
“I mean, my smile is prett-y convincing” yeah yeah okay I can see where this is heading. Outlook not so good (for me)
#and the thing is#Charles wouldn’t even be actively or intentionally doing it to woo Edwin. that’s not on his radar what’s he need to do that for.#he’s just Like That#an artist perfecting his art form you could say#Edwin knows! obviously. which is even more satisfying bc#he gets to be on the receiving end of All That AND he gets to be a massive bitch about it#the scathing commentary is directly proportional to how pleased he is#which CHARLES knows#Charles said nothing would change!!! and nothing has they’re still /them/#maybe he’s even working on figuring the rest out. that’s not important.#someone fucking put me down already I am constantly so pained#dead boy detectives#Charles Rowland#Edwin Payne#dbda#don’t think I’ve ever used a ship tag on a post before but hey#payneland#I say hi
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I could say I wasn’t thinking about @0l-unreliable ‘s cowboy andreil the whole time I was drawing this but my friends know I would be lying
#saw the ref and immediately knew what I had to do#fan art#my art#aftg#all for the game#neil josten#linking the most public friendly version bc i know me directly linking the other beautiful cowboy andreils#would jumpscare many people djhskgd#but just know. if you haven’t seen the cowboy andreils on 0l-unreliable’s blog#if you scroll the aftg tag on the blog to about Nov 2023 you will be rewarded 🤲#cowboy au
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"A stream through the valley to nourish these hills would lay all my troubles to sleep" A Field Song - Unfamiliar Things
Based off of CherriFire's designs!
#WHAAT two krash posts in one day???#don't get used to it lmao- I had this done a couple days ago#trafficblr#traffic smp#wild life smp#wild life fanart#It's been?? long enough that I'm not tagging the team as being spoilers pretty sure it's known by now#slight trafficshipping#inthelittlewood fanart#rendog fanart#inthelittlewood#rendog#treebark#was listening to unfamiliar things while making this so it's only fitting to assign it one of their songs :]#also I was a little evil with this one but idk if anyone's gonna catch it lmao#edit because I love them being in dresses so much (will be drawing them again)#I’m pointing directly at the both of them: you are now queer. you are both masculine and feminine in a customized combination#your relationship? also queer. nobody knows what’s going on with the both of you except you#friends?? married?? worse?? idk what it’s called but they’re a matching set
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"For what it's worth, I was telling the truth when I said I enjoyed working with you"
post by @killingsboys / parkour civilization, season 2 / flowers, hadestown / artwork by @vinestaff / off to nowhere by rubydragonz / artwork by @conswayo / good riddance (time of your life), green day
#SO HOW ABOUT THAT DOOMED YAOI HUH?#apologies for the tags i just want to directly credit everyone!!!#also if you want your art/post removed from this just let me know :pray:#parkour civilization#pkciv#evbo#seawatt#seavbo#web weaving#storm in a teacup#described#id in alt
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a few months ago I binged If You Give a Bat a Burger by @noir-renard.
first of all? top 10 banger fics of all time I am not kidding. look at me. look at me? look at me. not kidding.
anyway I couldn't NOT experiment with a (starter?) Cardinal outfit. took a bit of inspiration from other versions I've seen, a bit from redesigns I've fiddled on Danny before, and just today threw a vest on top because I've recently become convinced that what the Phantom design actually needs is a sick white leather jacket coming soon patent pending (not really on the patent, yes really on the imma draw this thing. look i scribbled it the other night
do you see what I mean? do you see what I mean???? ...give it time.)
WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE CLICK ON THAT LINK
#danny phantom#dc comics#batfamily#batburger au#if you give a bat a burger#iygabab#idk how we tag this#i drew those first pictueres like right after the binge but i wanted to wait until i had permision#and was too shy to ask directly on tumblr#BUT WERE HERE NOW#AND WHY IS THAT WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE#*CLICK ON THE LINK*#i will also do so. i wanna read it again#fanart#kineticallyart
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