#if i could make my cat immortal right now i would

[inkpotsprite]

I saw this post on here about an immortal who could share their gift with only one other being, they love and lose many throughout the centuries, then they fell in love and their partner asked why they wouldn't share their immortality and they confessed that they gave it to their cat. At first I laughed, but after thinking about it for a minute it seems pretty valid actually.

[anxious-witch]

I apologize for irritable tone of this post, but a portion of this fandom is starting to irritate me, so let's analyze catwin through the lens of how age works for ghosts and how situational irony is used in a scene where Edwin and Niko talk about kissing.

Let's start with age. Right at the beginning, when Emma asks Charles and Edwin to take her case, she tries to play it off as her being just a little girl. This is what Edwin replies:

And before anyone jumps the gun and says: "He said SUPERNATURALLY speaking! He is still physically 16!"

Okay. Let's unpack that. Considering how for people who are immortal, which ghosts essentially are, and as such unchanging, that isn't quite a proper argument, is it? Because the way I see it, there are two ways someone could argue this. Either your gripe is about the Cat King finding Edwin attractive despite him physically being a 16 year old or your gripe is that Edwin is mentally 16 and as such, cannot consent.

If it's the first, I think that argument is quite lacking here, because we know the Cat King is aware Edwin is older than 16. And as someone who is an adult and often gets mistaken for a minor, I think the idea that you can just always tell someone's age by looking at them quite funny. Also, by that logic, I shouldn't be able to consent either, because people generally gauge my age to be between 16-18, when I am in my mid 20s.

If it's the second, your point doesn't work because being frozen at 16 would mean being unable to learn and develop firther than what you did by that age. Which we know is false for ghosts, especially Edwin. He changes and develops constantly throughout the s1, and we have a front row seat to that! Human brains aren't clear cut, and before you jump under the post to say your brain isn't fully develop until age 25, I will kindly tell you that human brains, in fact, never stop changing and developing. And that experiences, traumas, etc hugely impact developments of individuals.

One argument I can sort of is perhaps Edwin and Charles having somewhat stunted emotional growth, but as we also see throughout the season, that has more to do with them stagnanting rather than them being unable to emotionally develop. And frankly, I know bunch of adults with the same issues, so.

Now for the "But Edwin said he doesn't want to kiss the Cat King!" argument. How about we look at what Edwin says before that, huh?

He says he has never been kissed and didnt understand the appeal, until recently. And you cannot tell me it wasn't the Cat King who made him realize it. Yes, he wanted to kiss Charles and I am not saying he didn't like Monty too, but if it wasn't for the Cat King getting physically close to him and playing into his desires, he wouldn't have realized that he too, feel physical attraction!

As for him saying "Absolutely not!" When Niko asks him if he wants to kiss the Cat King, I think that's laughable argument to saying "Well, see, he didn't want him!" Because first of all, characters can lie. Edwin most certain, lies about things he wants, both to himself and others, up until pressed.

Besides, if I am not mistaken, given English isn't my first language and I learned this stuff in a different language, this is also called situational irony, aka, someone say something won't/can't happen and then it happens. This is very often seen in romance plots too. A characters says they hate someone and then they end up dating them.

Think of Lizzy Benett and Darcy

And then she goes ahead and married him later, once her opinion of him changes. It's a classic romance trope!

Similarly, Edwin says he doesn't want to kiss the Cat King and what happens at the end? Oh yeah!

He kisses the Cat King. Shocker.

But yeah just like. Y'all are free to not like the ship for whatever reason, but for the love of god, stop making up stuff that's just blantantly untrue. There is an "anti catwin" tag for a reason, if you truly cannot stop yourself from commenting, but in all honestly, you could just enjoy your own ship without putting other ppl's ships down. Cat King is not perfect by any means, but this isn't a predator type of situation. I and many others have addressed the whole "coercion" bit quite a few times so I won't get into it again, but these two arguments I have seen pop up and I just had to address it. Thank you for coming to my ted talk

[justcressida]

ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ- DEAR VİLLAİNESS

"I coped with living in that damn house for so long, then got accepted to a prestigious college, and I had gotten my own home. Even if it was cramped and dirty, I could be completely at rest in it. I had finally escaped those bastards. So why?! It's not even Normal Mode. At this rate, this is no better than before…!"

Record Of Ragnarok X Penelope Eckhart!Reader

POSEİDON

Even among all these gods, Poseidon's hatred and arrogance for humans was evident.

Yet the only reason for his interest in this human woman was her incredible will to live.

Never before had he seen a mortal act so frankly, so boldly towards a God.

It caught his attention. The woman was beautiful, more beautiful than a Goddess could ever be. She was daring. It was easy to get lost in his catlike squinting eyes and be caught in the cold but firm aura of the mortal.

"Your daring and indiscretion have limits, mortal. What do you think you are? What do you trust to utter such bold words to a god?"

The woman squinted her eyes, shining with anger. "Why should there be a limit to my audacity? What have you got to set boundaries with me? First you create a lineage and then you send them disasters and hardships. Then when you get bored, 'Let's destroy humanity!' Are you making a joke that isn't funny to yourself? Why should I obey? Why should I be good? Whose wrong is right based on? How can one expect creation to be pure when there is evil in the heart of God?"

A deep silence reigned throughout the arena, while all the immortals who had been mocking her until a few seconds ago, in silence and tension, turned their eyes to the Tyrant of the Seas and then to this noble woman.

He couldn't help but was impressed. Although what he really needed to do was slit her throat with his trident and punish her disrespect, a wild instinct whispered that he shouldn't punish her in this way. Punish in a different way.

The Tyrant of the Seas' lips curved slightly as the tense wait continued. "Will you stand by what you say, mortal? If you kneel right now and apologize and beg, I won't punish you." Although his tone was calm, his gaze made everyone shudder.

"Y/N! Apologize!" As Reynold screamed, Derrick grabbed his arms and pulled him back. As the beautiful woman's eyes turned towards that direction, her eyes narrowed like a cat.

"It's not worth it, Reynold." Derrick's cold words echoed throughout the arena. The woman smiled sarcastically, after all she got used to it. It didn't hurt anymore.

"I'd rather die." Their eyes met. It was like the gaze of the sky and the ocean.

"You asked for it, mortal."

Thus began your life in prison. It was more of a fait accompli than a mistreatment.

Every day you were dressed like a doll and did whatever Poseidon wanted.

You could have dinner with him if he wanted.

If he wanted, you would go to the meeting of the Gods with him.

Everything was his order, if he didn't want it, you couldn't even breathe.

You'd still rather get beaten.

Yet all you gave in regards to your feelings was your hatred of the open ocean.

"Don't make me angry and come here mortal."

"I don't want."

"I didn't ask if you wanted it. Come with me, if you're afraid I'll keep it."

"No way. I won't." Poseidon looked at the beautiful mortal as the woman shrugged stubbornly.

"It's pointless mortal that you hate the ocean so much." He didn't want to ask directly why.

She looked thoughtfully into the water as she shrugged.

"Tell me the reason for this hatred of the ocean, mortal."

"Water plays with you, water imprisons you, water makes you crazy, and the insane cannot live in society. The water overflows."

Poseidon wanted to deny it, but mortal was right. That's how he summed up his thousands of years of life.

"Let's go inside, mortal. Don't be cold."

The Tyrant of the Seas sighs as he walks ashore.

Perhaps he could leave the mortal a little to himself.

Of course he wasn't forgiven.

For now, at least, he wasn't sure how much longer he could hold back.

"You are so ugly."

"You're being disrespectful again, mortal.

"But are you ugly?"

"Shut up and get in, damn mortal."

[misc-obeyme]

nightbringer lesson 44

OH. OKAY. I HAVE A LOT OF THOUGHTS.

I'm still gonna try to keep it brief but woooooooo here I go! Spoilers below!

Okay, so biggest thing I picked up from this lesson was that Solomon's soul is not in his body. Right? Right?? Everybody else got that, too, right!??! Tell me I'm not insane. More on this later.

So we spent the whole lesson in Babel, where apparently you get to have a "moment of bliss" where stuff happens that makes you incredibly happy.

It starts out with everybody telling Asmo how they really feel about him, which is of course that he's beautiful and kind.

Then everybody ends up in TSL cosplay and Levi info dumps for several speech bubbles. (It's pretty adorable aldksjf.)

Then a ton of cats show up and Satan loses his mind. (But the cats also cuddle with everybody else because Satan's happiest when he sees cats cuddling with his family, the two things he loves in one place~)

Then everybody disappears because Mammon's moment of bliss is to be alone with MC (he's so bbg I can't take it). (Oh but I do feel the need to mention that everybody else was still there, they were just invisible which is SUPER CREEPY. Like c'mon MC was having such a cute moment with their first man...)

And THEN a bunch of food shows up and we think it's Beel's moment of bliss, but it's actually Belphie's because the twins are so close that Belphie is happiest when Beel is happy.

And then it like reverses and we have Belphie napping and all the boys in angel outfits, but it's actually Beel's moment. And they talk about this time they remember Raphael unleashing his spears on Mammon in the CR. And like then they feel guilty 'cause Satan doesn't have those memories but then:

Satan saw everything from inside Lucifer? CONFIRMED. And Lucifer was aware of it, too.

And then everybody's like what was Lucifer's moment of bliss? And they're dumb about it, but MC is like Lucifer's moment of bliss was this entire experience because he's happiest when his family is happy. D'AWW very precious but also kinda meh, imo.

Then Raphael comes back, but it's really him this time yay!

And THAT is when we find out that only your SOUL is transported to Babel. Everybody's physical body was left behind.

And I was IMMEDIATELY like oh. So THAT is why Solomon couldn't go inside. His soul is elsewhere. I don't think he's soulless, I think he's immortal because his soul is being stored somewhere that isn't his body. THOUGH it would also be interesting if Nightbringer was like... Solomon's soul gone rogue al;kjdsfjdf. But I don't think that's the case.

I think they're using this as a way to explain why people so often say that Solomon is more like a demon. Even though we also got this:

Hmm. Indeed. Solomon is NOT a demon. They were mad at him for not mentioning the thing about only your soul going into Babel.

Anyway, that's my theory and it's the only thing that makes sense to me though I have no idea what it has to do with anything.

I also thought it was interesting that Raphael is now part of the Brothers No More chat group with Simeon and Lucifer. I hope this means we'll get more of him!

And then this from the hard lesson because wow I hope this isn't just No 2 exaggerating.

LOL. You want to return something? BURIED ALIVE. That's so Devildom it's amazing.

Anyway, there were plenty of cute family moments in this lesson, but the potential hint about Solomon was the biggest deal, imo. What does it mean? I could be misinterpreting and maybe that isn't the issue at all? Maybe it's like... there's something wrong with his soul and removing it from his body would either expose something about him that he doesn't want the others to know or would like harm it further and put his life in danger? I dunno. He is still immortal, so.

My first thought was soul is elsewhere, but I do think having it like... reveal something about him unexpectedly would be interesting, too, now that I'm thinking about it.

I dunno, what do you guys think?

masterlist | Thank you for reading!

[katerinaaqu]

Odyssey Parallels to my "Survivor's Guilt and Survivor's Duty" story (Rhapsody /Book 5 of Odyssey, Calypso's Monolog)

So here is a small break down of one of my most beloved fanfictions of Odyssey line by line from Calypso's monolog in 5th rhapsody of the Odyssey where she complains to Hermes for demanding to let Odysseus go, listing what she did for him. I find interesting how she speaks of the things she indeed DID do for him as if that somehow makes him her "property" or rather having a right on him (or as my brilliant friend @artsofmetamoor stated "like she was keeping a cat!" XD) Buckle up this analysis is long! XD

And I was the one to save him, while he was alone holding onto the ship's keel, for his fast ship was split open in the middle of the wine-dark sea by Zeus's thunder!

(Translation by me)

"Odysseus traveled once more; this time alone and grabbing upon the last remains of his beloved black ship… The night came cold and he was shivering. By the morning another storm caught up with him and his mast was once more drifted by the huge waves that resembled white top mountains, tearing apart his clothes and his flesh. And yet his hands endured… It was as if his heart and hands combined turned into oak or stones. The Man of many Torments endured. (From Part1)

Next day the sun was merciless over his head, sending him almost to the brief of hallucinations and heat as sweat was running down his already wounded body. The night the gods felt pity on him and sent a drizzle rain. Odysseus raised his head to the heavens trying to grab as much of the fresh god-sent water as if that would be enough to quench his insatiable thirst and the burning of the salt. Once a passing seaweed came close to him to which Odysseus made some sort of imitation of a meal for himself. How many times he nearly slipped off his life-raft he lost count…how many times he probably actually fainted on it he could no longer remember. And yet, the King of Ithaca endured…in strength that he had no idea he had. It was as if both his body and spirit had decided he had a duty to survive. He survived the agony and pain as well as the anxiety and fear every time something touched his foot beneath the waves or a passing fish would bite his legs. He had long stopped feeling much." (From Part 1)

"Therewith the worst came; a thunderbolt stroke the ship and the sudden flash and tremendous sound left them all blind and deaf. Odysseus screamed in pain shielding his ears. The ship cracked from side to side down in the middle; splintering in the winds like it was a pile of leaves." (From Part 1) => [This moment more graphically described by Odysseus himself in 12th rhapsody]

There all his goodly companions perished and the winds and waves brought him here!

(Translation by me)

"By night before the tenth day of his painful journey he had collapsed. He didn’t feel the sand beneath his body as his raft finally beached at a sandy beach. He didn’t move as some crab or beach beetle walked over his sea-beaten body. By dawn some hints of his consciousness returned. It was only for a brief second that the rays of sun touched his salt-crusted cheek but Odysseus saw or at least he thought he saw a tall slender figure picking something up from the beach many meters away from him (maybe a seashell). The figure turned towards him and walked there. And then everything turned black…" (From Part 1)

"He yelled till his throat was sore…till his voice was gone…he sobbed and cried tears almost as plenty as the waves of the sea. The storm was roaming around him… There was no one there to hear his lament… His voice was carried around by the wind…his tears were washed away by sea and rain…His body was borne by the direful winds… Six hundred men had started that fateful journey… Now there was only one… Now he was alone." (From Part 1)

I took him in with care and love and gave him food, I even told him I would make him immortal and ageless for all eternity!

(Translation by me)

"She slid her arm behind his back and half-raised him with unexpected strength, bringing the goblet to his lips. As the liquid touched those thirsty, dry lips, Odysseus gained strength anew to his arms; the type of strength you get when you need to survive. He greedily downed sips from the drink and aimed to hold it with his weak, shaking hands. He tasted the sweetest drink he ever thought he would taste; it was sweeter than honey, smoother than wine. It was all the tastes he ever knew and none at the same time. He coughed as the drink went down the wrong way but he drank more ignoring some that escaped his lips and down the thick layer of curly hair that adorned his wide chest. He was thirsty! He was thirsty to the point of madness!" (From Part 2)

"“My maids shall bring you some food, Odysseus. I believe you are strong enough to eat now. Nectar and potions we created should allow you to heal to that point” “I am grateful, beautiful goddess…” “Rest and regain your strength first” Calypso advised sweetly, “The rest shall come…”" (From Part 2)

"The weeks passed and Odysseus was indeed trying his best to keep himself in good condition. A few days more and he could walk about Calypso’s grotto without any problems and soon he felt gaining his old strength back. Eventually he got out of the grotto and got to explore the isle around and know his surroundings. Under the tender care of Calypso and her maids, Odysseus felt like finding himself again. He gained the weight he lost by his cruel misadventures and managed to built his previous physical strength." (From Part 2)

"“You nearly lost your life out there, darling… Why must you torment yourself over them? Why must your heart always mourn? Forget about this…mortal coil. Stay here with me…stay and rest, finally, Odysseus… You shall not want of anything here… I could offer you the gift of immortality… Never shall you fear sickness or death again! Never shall you find yourself in the same pitiful state that you were when you first showed up at my doors! You shall be my equal! All you need to do is ask…” (From Part 3) => [also remembering the first rhapsodies how Athena says t the council of the gods that Calypso aims to make him forget his homeland]

***

So yeah... I tried my best to follow the Odyssey but of cource details filled in by me! For those interested the three parts of this story are here!

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

And of course viewe's discression is advised given the hard hemes it includes (yes it includes the mention of SA so yeah...sad and dark stuff)

My Calypso fanart based on my story

My Odysseus fanart based on my stories

[lamemaster]

The MOVs

AN: I remember making this entire scenario up with @animatorweirdo and this has lived in my head ever since...it's been years I think. RIP Argorn you would've loved this.

Genre: Fluff

Summary: A society of mortals in Valinor

Pairing: Mentioned Maedhros x Reader

You knock twice on the looming wooden door, mimicking the rhythm of Varda's ancient hymn. Glancing around nervously, you wait. A sliver of light appears as the door creaks open, revealing a glimpse of the man within.

“Password,” a gruff voice whispers.

“Eonwe for president,” you reply softly.

The door swings open wider, pulling you inside.

“Dramatic as ever,” you grin, embracing your friend. Tuor of Huor was the only one who knew the secret to a perfect hug in the land of Aman.

You both turn to nod gratefully at your elven escort, the incomparable Beleg Cuthalion. Trusted with guarding the Mortals' secret meeting place in Valinor, he was a master of blending into the crowd. He disappeared into the alley without a backward glance.

Inside, a warm hearth, steaming tea, and tempting snacks greeted you. Bilbo was already eyeing the food with interest.

Bilbo, Frodo, Gimli, Tuor, and the recent additions of Dior, Earendil, Elrond, and yourself comprised the Mortals of Valinor Society,MOVS,  a secret that continued to baffle the Elves. Peredhel, the newest member, added an intriguing element to their exclusive group.

"What support could you need when you have me?" Maedhros asked, leaning over a counter, trying not to overshare his disapproval of the society that seemed to have his spouse, your attention every other week. He followed you around like a sulking cat. Making his discontent clear.

Ignoring his prying questions, you reign in your smug smile wrapping yourself in a warm scarf, “I know I have you,” you stand on your toes pecking his cheek, “it’s nice to have…my kind. Just to talk, you know.” You try explaining without giving up the meaning behind the meetings.

The meetings started with normal gossip away from elven hearing. This soon morphed into an evening full of dirty jokes, card games, unfiltered messy dances, anecdotes, or the simple pleasure of relishing the ardent, unsettling ire these meetings seem to stir in the hearts of the elven population of Valinor.

So, the challenge came to be. Mortals against the immortals. In their home field.

There have been tries of thwarting the meetings, of spying, and figuring out the secrecy behind the doors. But the MOVS, equipped with quite the team of players had been quick to employ their own elven player. Beleg Cuthalion, the only elf with the patience to hold on to the secrecy and never pry into the matters of mortals.

A reliable ally, who had for now been the reason behind the winning streak behind the mortals. His motives- simple, the smile on Tuor’s face that mimicked Turin’s. And that had been enough for your trusted elf.

Breaking away from Tuor’s hug, you wander into the room filled with the hearty aroma of good food. And today’s object of interest is coveted by the looming figures of Dior and Gimli. “That cannot be,” the half-elven man exclaimed.

“It is not possible in that position,” the Peredhel and dwarven master debate over the crudely drawn porn that you truly were not proud of.

All the while you catch Tuor’s fleeting jest- “The man sighed and replied ‘My left arm is stronger than my right arm’ ” To which Elrond stared back at him confused while Bilbo snickered next to a blushing Frodo.

A mischievous glint sparkled in your eyes as you observed the heated debate. "Gentlemen, gentlemen," you interjected, your voice cutting through the tension, "any thoughts on the last week’s fest?"

"They would not stop singing!" Earendil exclaimed animatedly, his face flushed with a mix of exasperation and amusement. "For two damn days, it was like a chorus of larks had taken up residence in my halls!"

Frodo nodded vigorously, his face mirroring Earendil's exasperation. "I believe the verse was too dense for musical notes," he added, shaking his head.

And the hall of MOVS erupted into chaos.

[bg-brainrot]

Hugs for a Vampire (Astarion x GN!Reader) - Chapter 18: At Withers' Party

Bonus Hug - Chapter 18: At Withers' Party

Each chapter can be read as a standalone hug.

Pairing: Astarion x GN!Reader (Rogue!Tav)

Genre: Fluffy, Filling in Canon

Rating: Teen

Tags: Gender-Neutral Pronouns, POV Second Person, post-game, epilogue, cw: alcohol, jealousy

WC: 2.1k words, 18/18 chapters

Summary: An epilogue hug! Astarion sees Rogue!Tav giving out hugs and wants one of his own.

Author's Note: This was not part of the original fic, added on after the epilogue was released, however I chose to put my own spin on the epilogue hug.

Finally, Whether you read this fic AO3, on Tumblr, or a combo of both, thanks so much for joining the hugfest! I love this vampire man, and may he have many, many more hugs <3

Ao3 | [Hug17] | Hugs for a Vampire Masterlist

It’s been six months since your victory at Baldur’s Gate.

Six months of traveling through the Underdark with Astarion, establishing a base for the vampire spawn, and figuring out your next steps together. It was perilous and difficult work, but you wouldn’t change a single thing. 

You have missed your former companions dearly though, so when you received the invitation from Withers for a celebration, the smile that broke across your face could blind a celestial. I wouldn’t miss this for anything – not even a fresh new apocalypse, you wrote back.

So that’s how you and Astarion have found yourselves above ground once again, the familiar wilderness of the Sword Coast a welcome sight, the distinguished company an even more welcome one.

Everyone seems to be doing quite well, despite how you all left each other. Lae’zel is only able to visit through a projection, and the reprieve is rather temporary for a few of your companions– namely Wyll and Karlach– However, it’s a rare opportunity and you’re incredibly grateful to have it.

The elation must be obvious on your face, as Astarion takes one look at you and laughs. His sing-song little giggle never fails to bring a smile to your face, and right now your face is liable to crack open. “Go on, dear,” he says, sensing the eager tension in your body. “Mingle! If you need me, I shall be near the wine.”

“You can mingle too, you know,” you say, though you’ve already begun to walk away.

“Invite me again after a few bottles,” he responds. You know he loves them all in his own way, but he also finds them to be a bit too much at times. Ever the stray cat, he’ll find his way to them when he’s ready, at least you hope. So you nod to him in agreement and wander off to chat with your dearest friends.

You’re so excited to see them all again that you’re practically jogging to meet them. 

Shadowheart is the first. When you get a good look at her, you see a peace in her face that you haven’t seen in any of the months you’ve known her. Something about it brings you relief. You knew they would each find their happiness without you, but seeing it firsthand is something else. Perhaps it’s because she’s looking so much more herself than ever, but before long you find yourself asking, “Could I have a hug?” The hug is caring and welcoming and everything you knew Shadowheart has always been.

Next you make your way to Karlach. She’s alive and well, which is ten times better than the last time you saw her, and you just might cry from the sight. She tells you about Avernus and about the possibility to fix her heart and you just might cry from that as well. Again, you can’t resist, especially knowing she’s been fighting for her life for six months. “Could I have a hug?” The hug is warm and strong, just like the woman in your arms.

After that, you make your way to Wyll. He’s doing rather well in Avernus with Karlach, and, when he mentions that he’s planning to ensure Karlach finds a solution to her heart, a few tears well in your eyes. Wyll is among the best of mortal and immortal men, and you’re glad he went with Karlach when you couldn’t. The grateful feeling is more than you can put into words, so you ask, “Could I have a hug?” The hug is strong and bracing and an absolute testament to Wyll’s enduring friendship.

You find your way to Lae’zel. After learning of her diligent efforts to save her people from Vlaakith, you can’t help but be awestruck by how much she’s changed. You’re inspired by her ability to learn to fight with words and stunned by how much she truly misses you. Even though she’s not there, you can’t help yourself, “Could I have a hug?” She simply clicks her tongue at you and calls you an idiot, somehow melting your heart all the same.

Eventually, you find Gale, tucked away with the tressym Tara. He’s a teacher and no longer at risk of exploding – you can’t help laughing at that, remembering the various times he almost blew you all up without the help of an all-powerful orb. Something about the way he speaks of his new role and invites you to visit, either to teach or just to spend time, makes you realize that this is what a happy wizard looks like. You love it and ask, “Could I have a hug?” The hug is all-encompassing and lengthy, much like one of Gale’s lessons in magic.

Finally, you find Halsin, dancing the night away. When you learn more about his endeavors, you find that he’s reestablishing the settlement at Reithwin, reconnecting the land to its people. He mentions that Thaniel and Oliver are no longer lonely and that the children of the settlement bring him a fulfillment he never thought possible. After regaling him of an exaggerated tale of your and Astarion’s adventures, you assure him that the two of you will visit soon to tell more. “Could I have a hug?” The hug is surprisingly gentle and comforting, and you walk away feeling quite content.

You determine that you’ll need to ask the rest, even Withers, for hugs if they’ll all be this enjoyable. But before you do that, you decide to take a moment to yourself, to process everything.

That’s how you find your way to a quiet corner, head spinning with warm, fuzzy feelings and maybe a smidge too much wine. Just being here, surrounded by some of the best people you’ve ever had the privilege to encounter, fills you with a companionship you weren’t aware you’d been missing. Astarion fills you with so much love and happiness, but this– this is different.

As if summoned with your thoughts, the vampire walks toward you, wine glass in hand. "Are you done mingling?" Sensing your mind is elsewhere, he leans closer, inspecting your glassy, faraway gaze. His hand lands on the small of your back, jolting your attention back to the present and you turn to look at him. His eyes sparkle at you with radiant joy and a hint of something else. Could that be annoyance?

You decide to focus on the joy. "Yes, I think I've managed to get good conversations out of everyone. Did you know Gale wants me to go teach at Waterdeep?" Your voice sounds incredulous, after all, you warned him: once a rogue, always a rogue. Unless he wants his students to learn how to stab more efficiently, he would do best to seek someone else.

Astarion clearly agrees, making an exaggerated, aghast expression. "You? A teacher?" He shudders in fake-fear. "My love, I pity the poor students who would be subjected to your methods."

“Hey,” you say, shooting him a glare. “I thought you were supposed to be the supportive one!”

He laughs and shakes his head. “I can only support so much, my dear.” Then he takes a long look at you, noticing how unfocused your eyes are, the flush to your face. “And from the looks of it, I may need to support your entire body before the night is over.”

You only grin at him and say, “What did I do to deserve such a caring man?”

“Yes, yes,” he says, rubbing gentle circles along your back. “Likely whatever you did to deserve the affections of every adventurer this side of the Chionthar.” His tone is joking, but the dark look on his face says otherwise.

Pushing aside your own amusement, you pull his hand from your back and lean into him. “Okay, what's the matter, love?”

“Oh nothing. I just thought my jealous days were behind me.” He sounds sullen, and you note a sad tilt to his eyebrows.

Jealous days? You groan, recalling his concern over the fiery barbarian. “Love, really truly, if I were leaving you for Karlach, I would have gone to Avernus months ago.”

He waves his wine glass at you dismissively. “I know that, and I don’t mean Karlach, contrary to all evidence thus far.” Suddenly avoiding your gaze, he takes a sip of wine and changes the subject. “No matter, let’s go ask Withers where he found this vintage.” 

“No, no, no,” you say, tugging him back to you before he can walk off. After another six months together, getting used to each other’s idiosyncrasies outside of mortal peril (mostly out of mortal peril), you knew the escape was only a ruse. He wants to talk, but he seems too embarrassed to begin. “You’re allowed to be jealous, Astarion. But I can’t help you if you don’t tell me why.”

Astarion stops in his tracks, looking back at you with a pair of vulnerable red eyes. “Do you promise not to laugh?”

You take a beat to debate this, but ultimately honesty wins over and you shake your head. “I wish I could, but I do promise to try my best?”

A sigh escapes him, and you’re graced with a soft, reluctant smile. “Typical. You were truthful though, so I shall be too. I was rather jealous of…” He wipes a hand over his face dramatically. “I was jealous that you’ve gone and hugged everyone else. Gods, I sound like a child.”

It’s a good thing you only promised to try your best because an involuntary huff leaves your lips, which you'd firmly pressed together in preparation. "That is…" you gasp out.

"Idiotic? Pathetic?" Astarion supplies.

"Rather adorable actually," you say, finally allowing a snort out. “How do you always manage to be both adorable and sexy?”

You swear you can see the tips of his ears color pink, but that may just be the firelight or your own tipsy vision. He only says, “I’m quite talented.”

“Would a hug help you feel better?”

Astarion looks at you, eyes darting between yours. You can see a bit of hesitation in them, and you’re wondering why when he says, “Only if it’s not a pity hug.”

“Never,” you say, solemnly. “You know I only give hugs I mean.”

He clicks his tongue, annoyed again. He places his wine glass down on the ground with a flourish, as if preparing himself. “Yes, exactly. Which is why I’ve gone and become jealous. This is all your fault and I expect you to remedy it.”

You nod, accepting this burden with ease. “In that case… Could I hug you?” Astarion waves his hand at you as if to say, get on with it already, and you dive right in. 

The hug is loving, it’s understanding and supportive. It warms you, it cools you, and it makes you want to tackle this man to the ground in an aggressive affection– a feeling you only barely temper after a few glasses of wine. After experiencing so many hugs tonight, you find that the hug is so very perfectly him.

No, not just him. It’s the type of hug that the both of you make together. And it’s the hug you want to experience again and again for the rest of your life.

When you finally pull away from him, Astarion is smiling once more, jealousy evidently placated. “Well now, I have you every night, don’t I? Go on then, continue to bless them with your presence. I’ll be here when you’re ready. I’ll always be here, my love.”

You shake your head at him. “A lovely sentiment, of course, but you’re done hiding. Come on.”

“What?” he asks, brows furrowing as he tilts away from you.

“I said, you’re done hiding. No more shadows, they all keep asking about you and I’d rather you answer them yourself,” you say, all but dragging him back to the party now. “They miss you too, you know.”

“Darling, please. What if they ask me for a hug?” Astarion looks truly appalled at the thought.

You laugh, imagining him reacting like a cat forced into a bathtub. “You can say no, of course. But I promise not to get too jealous if you do.”

“What will it take for you to forget I ever said that?” he says, laughing and allowing himself to be dragged.

You quickly swipe his wine glass back up off the ground as you pull him along, and take a long drink before returning it to him. You only say, “At least two more bottles, though I suppose that depends on how wild Withers likes his parties.”

Hand-in-hand, you both walk off to enjoy the rest of the celebration. The night is young, the wine is flowing, and there are still many more hugs to be shared.

[kaitokitty19]

Pandora AU: Home pt.1

Snippet written for my Pandora AU where Kaito became immortal and he travels around with Hakuba. In the following part, Hakuba’s around his 40s.

———

"Don't you ever want to settle down somewhere?"

Right now, Kaito was curled up next to Saguru's body, which always generates heat like a furnace. It's chilling despite the heater. Kaito instinctively moved closer to the heat source.

In response, Hakuba only petted his hair absent-mindedly and gave a distracted hum. He was busy perusing the file marked "URGENT" Interpol had forwarded earlier that evening, interrupting their dinner. The file had been printed out into a thick stack of paper – getting along in his 40s, long screen time had started to tire Saguru's eyes out quicker; they’re always red and watery after staring at his monitor for a long case, hence the printing.

Always bringing murders and terrorists and whatnot horror into their bed, that bastard. But Kaito could hardly find it in him to complain; not when Saguru is this dastardly handsome with all his fine lines and glasses and laser focus. His juvenile cockiness might have dulled somewhat in age, but his eyes remained as sharp as ever. Kaito imagined he could be cut through with a look. God, he wish he could age with him.

"I already am."

"Huh?" Kaito startled, forgetting that it was him who asked.

"I said ‘I already am’," Saguru reiterated, eyes still glued to inked black and white and free hand waving vaguely around as if that alone should make sense, "settled, that is."

Kaito followed the directions of his wild gestures. Yes, their apartment is nice and all: a tasteful cream-colored motif, delicate plaster ceiling rose, high windows and ceilings, spacious, with a spectacular view of the Eiffel Tower. The Hakuba Corp spared no expense in making sure its young master was happy, and this was no exception. From the most cutting-edge technology to the most beautiful antique furniture, everything seamlessly pieced together in a coherent harmony of livable space. Everything was at his fingertips. Kaito could spend all day mopping around the place without feeling an ounce of claustrophobia. And he did, occasionally - on which days Kaito felt more like a spoiled cat than an actual person. That Hakuba would come home from whatever businesses he tended to, shrug off his trench coat and shoes before bending over the sofa and spoil him with indulgent kisses certainly didn't help the case.

Even if he were to nitpick, there was nothing to bemoan about. But they had scantly been there 5 months. Kaito was sure there were suitcases at the bottom of their closet that had yet been unpacked. 'Settling down' wouldn't be how he would describe it. Nor would it apply to any of their previous many relocations.

"That's not... I mean, don’t you get tired, of moving around like this? Hardly get to see your friends and family? Never allow yourself to take root somewhere? Isn't it suffocating building your life around me?"

This had Saguru's attention. He lowered the case file and turned those keen eyes onto Kaito. The way Kaito's breath hitched was completely involuntary.

"Does it bother you?"

"It doesn't matter, does it? I don't have a choice." There was no use talking around it. With Pandora, Kaito could hardly stay anywhere longer than a handful of years before his unchanging appearance raised a few eyebrows. "But you do. Wouldn't you rather have a home to come back to instead of hotel rooms and new fancy penthouses every other year?"

They were already getting looks as they were, from the way master Hakuba always had a young twenty-something draping over his arm. There had been hushes and whispers that Kaito knew that Saguru feigned oblivion to, only to quietly have them moved within the week.

He hadn't noticed he had been fidgeting until Saguru took hold of his restless fingers, the warmth of his hand effectively stopped his anxious tingle from spreading from his fingertips.

"Kaito," Hakuba sighed, exasperated but firm, like he had said what he was going to say next a thousand times before and had absolute faith in it. And maybe he had. Kaito just couldn't quite bring himself to believe him, "as long as I am with you, I'm already home."

[kingconia]

If you don't mind, can i request headcannon. Malleus play a mind game on female reader. Like malleus talk about a girl (which didn't even exist) she seem interesting and she also like him back he told reader in hope that reader get jealous and confess her feelings to him. But it backfired and reader was like "oh, congrats..." (Even though she felt hurt inside but decided to act mature and support). So at the end it was mess, as they argue, confess and cuddle...(you can make changes or do yan mal if you feel like. I hope you having a loney day/night)

A/N: I hope you are having a good time! Just as much as I hope that I delivered your idea properly.

•

Malleus Draconia was quite inexperienced when it came to romantic relationships—platonic as well—and that, indeed, was a common fact that everyone could gather simply by speaking with him at least once.

More to say, he was quite nervous about his feelings being mutual. As he wasn't so sure, he decided to ask an advice from people with experience. Some of ideas was ridiculous—Lilia told him to put you on the life and death situation, so, you could be honest with each other, and Azul Ashengrotto suggested him another of his ridiculous contracts—but in the end, Malleus's attention was caught by a quiet curious one.

That is how he found himself here, telling you a deceiving story of a girl, who caught his attention, and stole his heart.

”Oh,” you sighed, when he finished finally. ”From the sound of it, she is perfect.”

”I think the same,” Malleus nodded, determined. ”This woman is very special to me, and I really hope to ask her out soon.”

”Oh,” you repeated once again, tugging your hair slightly. ”That is nice, Malleus. I wish you a good luck.”

And that was it? Shouldn't be you jealous of him?

Malleus had been told—by the same person, who gave him this tip—that if anything helps lovers to be bluntly honest, it would be a simple jealousy. No one could control it, especially, in situation like this.

”Since you are my best friend,” Malleus tried again, ”I came to ask for your approval.”

”Do you want my blessing or something?” You scoffed at him.

”Perhaps, I do.”

Only a indifferent person would be fine with that.

”Oh, Malleus,” you grip his hand tightly, lips curling in smile. ”My only wish for you to be happy. So, of course, go and ask her out.”

He stared at you for a solid minute. Waiting. Waiting for you to show at least some kind of emotion. But it never came. Seemed, like you were really just his friend and nothing more.

Malleus smiled brokenly.

”Thank you, child of man. I appreciate that.”

That was just...

•

”...Unfair!” You tried to sob quieter, but these tries were useless, and so you just hid your face in your knees. ”I... I really thought he likes me, Grim. You know? I thought that we are... I thought he was flirting with me, and I thought my feelings were mutual, but...”

Grim sighed tiredly, pushing even more napkins in your hands.

You tried to be fine and contained about Malleus finding someone to himself—probably another pretty fae, who deserves to be his Queen—but failed miserably.

As soon as he left your company, after gaining some strange blessing from you, you simply stormed out from the Diasomnia dorm, ignoring Lilia's questions completely.

You wanted Malleus to be happy. You really did.

But... Ah, why couldn't he be happy with you?

Why couldn't he be happy with you?

Was it about immortality? Or wasn't you beautiful enough? Not smart? Was it about lacking magic?

You felt hopeless.

”Malleus is so cruel,” you chuckled. ”Asking all of this, making me hear all his lovingly stupid stories, and—”

"Wait, Y/n.”

’Not now, Grim. I just can't understand why he thought it is going to be a good idea.”

”And why it is not?”

You almost answered, but the voice died in your throat as you realised that it was not Grim's voice.

You raised your head slowly, glaring at your panicked little cat first, before turning around completely.

Fuck.

Malleus was standing right behind your couch.

”Oh, come on...”

As if this day couldn't be even worse.

”You know what,” Grim giggled nervously. ”I am out. Goodbye.”

You hissed in your hastily leaving familiar's back. What a traitor.

”So?” Malleus asked, leaning over the couch. ”Why it wasn't a good idea to share something good with you?”

His face wasn't showing any kind of emotions. He seemed slightly curious, and that was it.

Not willing to be hovered over, you stood up slowly.

”I... Malleus, listen...”

You didn't want to sadden him. You really didn't. But, ah...

You didn't want to lie him either. You know Malleus didn't like to be lied.

”I am listening.”

”Because...”

To be or not to be?

”Fine, because I like you, and... And I hate the idea of you, having a girlfriend. Yes, I am petty, yes, I am delusional for thinking that you were into me all this—”

He cut you through suddenly.

”You like me?”

A silence fell upon both of you, as his face turned out in a very confused one. His mouth was slightly open, eyes widened as you said something really confusing.

”...Of course, I do.”

”Why didn't you tell me it earlier?”

What he expected you to do? To play a role of envious wife, who keeps her man to herself solely? Right when he admitted something so important? And what would it change, even?

”What kind of person confesses in the middle of conversation like this?” You asked, genuinely frustrated by his obliviousness.

Malleus blinked.

”A jealous one?”

Was he mocking you?

”Yeah, I am aware of what I am, but I don't need you to be aware of that!”

Your patience finally ended, and you couldn't help but take a pillow from the couch, throwing it on him. Of course, he dodged it easily.

”I don't have anyone,” Malleus said suddenly.

”What—”

”I was taught that a jealousy would make you more honest, and therefore, if my feelings are, they would be returned,” he murmured, and you could feel how actually ashamed he seemed to be.

But even the redness of his cheek, couldn't save him from your rage.

Another pillow was taken, and this time, you hit him with mercilessly, not giving time to dodge that.

”Are you kidding with me?! I thought you don't like me!”

”Child of man, how could I not? I even described your appearance when I spoke about this woman...” Another hit. ”In fact, it was you, who seemed indifferent!”

Three more hits—two across the chest, and another on his face—and you stopped, breathing coming as hissing. Your eyes shut closed, and you threw pillow away, gripping the collar of his shirt, instead.

”Malleus. I really. Really. Like you,” your voice was loud and clear. ”But this idea of confession was just awful.”

You felt him relaxing. His cold hands were put on your cheeks, and his lips moved closer to your ear, brushing the tip of it slightly.

”I apologise, my love. I really do,” you shivered, but only pressed yourself closer to him. ”I must admit, my original plan of confession was completely different. I never planned to play with you like this.”

”Then why you did that?” You sighed, surrendering completely as your arms locked around his waist.

”Just as I said, it was a method that I was taught to.”

You frowned again.

”Who it was?”

”Hm?”

”Whose idea it was, to do this?”

”Oh... I think, it was Kingscholar.”

You gripped Malleus in the hug crushingly. Just as you thought that you calmed down...

”This fucking—”

[roykiller07]

idk if anyones done this yet but i translated the fine print on bills soul contract 👍👍👍 its under the break in case its considered spoilers

you are now twenty one grams lighter

this contract is legal and binding[] we reserve the right to use your likeness[] face[] voice and small town pluck in whatever nefarious manner is deemed necessary[] sans soul[] your soulmate will not recognize you and will walk right past you on a cold autumn day[] never making eye contact[] not even processing that you have eyes at all[] no amount of interaction will move them to a place where they can remember[] in feeling[] the thousands of lifetimes you have already spent together[] each time choosing whatever form would keep you closest like otters holding hands in a tumultuous river[] you were birds[] you were trees with roots entangled[] drinking in the sunlight together[] []wherever we go next[] whatever you choose[] i will always be right there with you[][] thats done[] buddy[] congratulations[] you have chosen bill instead[] mcdonalds reserves the right to put a giant yellow m on your torso and forehead and send you walking through a crowded times square while you scream []the fries[] the fries[] they don[]t degrade in nature[][][] it[]s an immortal food[][][] they will be in the landfills long past our deaths[][] good god[] the things s i[]ve seen[] me[] who am i[] oh i[]m bill[]s previous lawyer[] he put my soul into a quill pen so i can write his legal documents until the sun snuffs out like a candle in this sick universe[] i used to be so hot[] i was so fine[] now i[]m fine print[] speaking of which[] bill reserves the right to put your soul into an inanimate object[] a strange creature[] a concept[] a sentence[] a tasteful but rustic mason jar with wildflowers in it[] if at any point you wish to have visitation rights with your soul[] you will be swiftly denied[] unless you had a cool day planned for the both of you[] then bill might want to come along[] by signing this document you forfeit any rights to eating soul food[] it will turn to ash in your mouth[] a fitting punishment for a fool who squandered the only true gift life owes you[] bill reserves the right to dress your soul however he deems necessary[] especially if your soul was a nerd before acquisition[] soulmakeoverrr[] your soul may become fractured and placed into different objects[] this has no purpose and will not resurrect you if you die[] signee has forfeited all rights to any afterlife[] including but not limited to[] heaven[] hell[] purgatory[] big corner[]flow state[] the dream house[] the reincarnation processing center[] axolotl[]s tank and consequences hole[] signee can no longer board any soul train and is advised to discard all bellbottoms[] signee can no longer have a puppy as a best friend[] they can sense what is gone[] cats are indifferent[] signee can experience occasional demon possessions from horculus the red[] plabos the merciless[] morbus son of mortem[] plaga the oozing and other such common demons roaming earth searching for weakened[]empty vessels[]tips for ripping your soul out at home[] watching youtube commentary channels[] attending an extended family event with an open bar[] using generation ai and asserting that you are creative[] turning a blind eye to human suffering[] amassing more wealth than needed[] purchasing a blue checkmark

i didnt feel like interpreting the punctuation (which is all just rectangles on the og document). it is translated letter by letter so if it seems like i forgot a space or wrote a letter where there shouldnt be its because it was like that in the original. pls let me know if u think i achsually made a mistake !!!!!

ive been translating everything i can and ill post the rest if ppl want but i felt like everything else was small enough anyone could translate it, this one was just long enough a lot of ppl wouldnt wanna bother 😋

i believe the code to get this image is: NAITSUAF

[mehkers]

Even butlers deserve love

This was so fun to write! Happy birthday to our lovely Barbatos <3

Contains: fluff, so much fluff, did I mention fluff?, maybe some slight implications? It’s whatever you want to imagine, Barbatos x mc (romantic), not proofread, also f l u f f

First time writing Barbietoes, soo apoogizes for any ooc moments

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ah, it’s the beloved Butler’s birthday today. You gazed at him from your side of the bed, enjoying the look of tranquility that only sleep could bring him. Your hand reached out to rest on his soft cheek, nuzzling your face closer to his. A soft smile spread on his lips, and his arms wrapped around your torso.

“Good morning, hun~” You whispered before he could say anything, enjoying the slight heat radiating from his face.

He hummed and kissed down your neck in an affectionate manner, a routine he’s caught on to whenever you sleep together. “Birthdays don’t mean much to a demon like me, but thank you, my love. I appreciate it nonetheless.”

Mornings like these were always sweet, and calming. A rejuvenating way to start the day, like any other day, full of chaos. You made sure no one would disturb Barbatos and you during his birthday. Though you had to compromise with a birthday celebration at night because Diavolo wanted to have a proper celebration; it’s going to be a small party full of close friends and happiness, just the way Barbatos likes it. Your hands buttoned up his shirt for him while you two talked about anything and everything. You didn’t miss the light in his eyes when he mentioned wanting to try out a specific rare tea, nor did you miss the lovesick look he gives you.

Once you two are ready, you hold his hand and leas him out of the Demon Lord’s Castle. “I know the perfect place to have breakfast at!”

“Oh darling, you love leaving me in suspense, don’t you?” He chuckled, his voice soft like velvet and jovial. Every step he took felt lighter than usual. Barbatos never cared for birthdays, finding them frivolous and boring. It was just another day in his immortal life, nothing special to celebrate another year of living when he himself has forgotten how long he’s lived for. Everyone else seemed to love to make it a huge thing; in a way it’s endearing, but the preparations and planning is just another chore in an already busy day.

But with you, my how you’ve changed him. With all tour little hints about how you’re going to make this day extra special has made him oddly excited. A tiny human, barely has lived a fifth of his life, has managed to cabe into his heart and create a cosy nest in there. Barbatos wouldn’t say he was the coldest person, but he knows it isn’t easy to get close to him. Yet how you’ve managed to wrap him around your pinkie is almost admirable.

Barbatos squeezed your hand gently, and pulled you closer to his side. His hand slipped around your waist and smiled. “If at anytime you feel uncomfortable, do tell me.”

You just smiled and leaned closer while walking down the eccentric streets of Devildom. There were all sorts of activities you planned. First, the cat cafe; next, a stroll through the park while eating some steamed cream buns; then, to the museum!

And yet, here you two were, taking refuge in an arts and crafts store from the acid rain.

“I’m so sorry Barbatos, I- I should have checked the weather..”

“No, no, it wasn’t your fault. If I had been in my right senses, I’d have known earlier.” He tried to reassure you, but your frown only deepened.

You sighed, for what felt like the hundredth time, rubbing your hands together as you looked around. Your gaze laid on some beads, and now you knew how to save this ruined birthday date! “So.. there’s this trend going on in Devilgram, would you like to join it?” You slowly turned to look at him, the once brooding, dark look from the ruined day being cleansed by the excitement in your expression.

“All I need is you, for my birthday.” He held your hand and kissed it, enjoying the blooms of red roses on your cheeks.

Pleasant moss colored green and almost lime green beads lines the bracelet with the enchanting colors of your eyes. It wasn’t much, but to Barbatos whose love language is gift giving and quality time, it was almost like the Celestial Realm. He had the most softest gaze, and the sweetest smile as he watched you carefully slip the beads in the thread. The perks of being as efficient as he was, he could spend the rest of the time gazing at you.

“My dear?”

“Hm?” Your eyes never left the thread as you tied it.

“Thank you.”

You paused, and looked up with the brightest smile. “This wasn’t what I had in mind, but I’m glad you’re enjoying it.”

A moment of silence as you slipped the beaded bracelet on, the sound of the beads clashing and the patient smile of your partner’s distracting you both from the rain’s abrupt stop.

“For many more years to come, I hope I’ll be there for all your birthdays.” Wishful thinking, but no need to ruin the mood with depressing thoughts. “I’ll never ever let go of you Barbatos. I hope you know how special you are to me.”

You held the hand Barbatos was wearing the bracelet on with yours, and locked eyes with him as you kissed his palm, his fingers following.

“One of the human traditions is to kiss their partner the number of times as their age on their birthday. It’s going to take a long time, shall we go home before the party starts so I can get a head-start?”

Barbatos is a powerful demon, able to control time, and easily win any battles. But with you, he’s reduced to nothing but a lovesick demon ready to go to war with al three realms for you. Birthday’s weren’t all that special to him, but you were, and that’s all that matters to the beloved butler.

[decarabiandivorce]

📓??

nameless bard wakes up in modern mondstadt during the windblume festival- but is IMMEDIALTLY pelted with pollen. His poor lungs can't take it. He cant even get a word in about whats going on before he sneeze 😔 <- has lived his entire life in a place with practically no wildlife

Its all fun and games until every citizen in mond can feel the winds. Stop.

"Huh? What's going on? Is Barbatos okay??? Is it another stormterror thing?" No one can blow dandelions :(. But the winds suddenly pick up again, just at a slower pace. They weave around NB, careful to make sure no pollen drags down his experiance.

NB is taking this as a sign of ??? as he tries to gain more and more info- but then animals start to chase him! Cats and birds are wanting pets from him. He tries to calm them down, but they all look at him like he is made of catnip.

NB runs into a nearby store, and is informed that someone paid for his meal. "What the fuck??" NB thinks, but isn't one to refuse a gift <- hasn't eaten anything for so long

basically NB being beloved by all the creatures and winds of mondstadt, as a gift from Venti. NB has no clue what is going on, but he feels happy? He has learned that its the future and is pushing all that grief to the side (for now), and is wondering where his little friend could be? Wispi would be immortal, right? Perhaps there are some records by the Gunnhildrs that would know?

As NB walks up to the church, practically all of the decorations fall on him. a faint "oh Shoot! Too much wind." is faintly heard, but NB gets covered in decorations. He looks like a very very very grumpy disney princess, and from the way a banner falls on his head - resembles Barbatos a Lot.

"is that our god in human form???" "I heard that the anemo archon sometimes disguises himself.... so maybe..."

"Look! He is wondering where he can perchase a lyre- but he is wearing olde bard clothings! That proves he is a bard from long ago! And we all know the church has Barbatos's lyre! Thus! This olde lyre-less bard must be the archon incognito!!!"

The sisters are *squinting* at this strange bard who speaks like he is from another time, and Rosaria is like "you know what would be funny?"

"Do not hand a STRANGER the HOLY LYRE"

"...."

Anyways NB, so confused, is like "hm... if I win these people's trust with a song, then perhaps I can get some info about my wispi???"

So after 1 song, NB looks around and is the MOST disney princess looking bard in the history of mondstadt. You know how birds fly in Venti's TCG art? Yeah that. The archon may or may not have asked a couple creatures to watch his friend, and the flowers now in NB's hair is not doing him any favors. There are butterflies and crystalflies and NB is so >:/. He is in awe, but he senses something is off.

Then this strange new Mondstadt is like "okay so you are our god. Cool. We can keep that a secret :)"

"Huh????" ":)"

[darlingpoppet]

Upon A Lazy Bed — Patrochilles (TSOA)

The Song of Achilles | Achilles/Patroclus | M | 4.7k Words

My first* Patrochilles fic is two years old today! I’m still really proud of this one (everyone’s fic that’s designed to vent all their pent-up TSOA feels is always quite meaningful right?) So I wanted to reshare it here on tumblr <3 Thanks for everything so far, Patrochilles pals, I love talking to you all and creating for this fascinating ship <3 <3

Excerpt:

Achilles is in high spirits.

Throughout the night, he takes each opportunity as we edge past one another in the tent to fondly squeeze my shoulder, or playfully blow in my ear, or place a kiss on my forehead. He eats his dinner of spiced mutton and bread with a smile, complimenting my cooking tonight as particularly delicious. Even the dogs receive extra rubs behind their ears. If Achilles were anyone else, I might have thought there was something untoward about his easy affection and generous compliments, but I have long since outgrown my mistrust of his sincerity.

In truth, I am grateful for the ease in tension. After Phoinix came to relay the events of the first day to us, the enervating haze of suspense amidst our idleness has abated somewhat. Achilles’ plan seems to be working. I am anxious of what may yet still come to pass if his gambit fails, but for now, the cost has not been too great.

He reclines now in our bed, humming sweetly. One hand is behind his head while the other plucks at invisible lyre strings somewhere in the air in front of him. His ankle rests against a drawn-up knee, and his calf muscles flex as his foot bobs in time to the tune he composes.

I am there, too. My head lays against his shoulder while I listen to his voice and play cat’s cradle with a favorite bit of spun wool. My restless hands have been fidgety all day, so it is satisfying to bind them tightly while my fingers weave patterns into the string, and then release them again. The slashes on my wrist which Achilles redressed for me after dinner still ache underneath the fresh bandages, but the pain has dulled since yesterday.

Achilles’ hum is soothing, like a mother’s lullaby. My body tingles pleasantly. I still remember what his voice sounded like when it was yet untouched by the blossoming of his manhood. Sometimes I miss it, but since then it has deepened into a handsome tenor that seems to vibrate at the same frequency as my very core. I love it.

“What is that song?” I ask him.

He pauses for a moment to answer. “The story of Psyche.”

“Ah.”

I understand why it might be on his mind. In the stories, Psyche had betrayed the trust of her husband, the love god, Eros. Full of regret, she faced a series of trials given to her by the goddess Aphrodite, the last of which resulted in her death. Touched by her fidelity, however, Eros had forgiven her, and rewarded her with immortality upon Mount Olympus. A happy ending where love and devotion win the day.

I think back to our argument from the night before. How we had both wounded one another with our treacherous actions. But in the end, we had been able to overcome it.

I have no chance of becoming a god, of course, but I indulge for a moment in the fantasy of saving Achilles from his prophesied fate myself—that somehow my love alone might be enough to make the gods take pity on us and let him live so that he could stay by my side for the rest of our days. That the beauty between us is pure enough to grant him his eternal fame. And then he would have no need of things like reputation and honor in the eyes of the other Greek kings. The both of us, we are enough.

The humming stops again and Achilles is silent, as if weighing something.

“Are you… getting tired?” he asks.

He often inquires this when he is trying to gauge my interest in intimacy, but this time his tone is unusually diffident. Perhaps he is unsure if the past couple of weeks have irreversibly chilled my appetites. Even before our quarrel, we had been fearful to touch one another in the midst of the plague, and too busy and exhausted for it besides. This is probably the first chance we have had since the hardships began.

“I am not,” I say.

“I am not, either.”

I have his full attention now. He plucks the tangle of string from my fingers; I flex a few times to invigorate the blood back into them. He takes one of my hands—the bandaged one—and presses a kiss into my palm. His lips are soft, and achingly gentle. My breath hitches. Achilles, thinking it’s from pain, stops immediately.

“I’m sorry,” he says quickly. “Are you alright?”

“Yes,” I reassure him. “Do not stop.”

He nods, redirecting his affection to my face. Slowly, and ever so tenderly, he plants a kiss at the corner of my mouth. My lips part slightly, hoping to lure him in, but he is not done yet. He leans over to one side to place another gentle kiss at the point where my neck, ear, and jaw meet. I wonder if he can taste my pulse there, I think to myself. The tip of his nose drags against my cheek slightly as he pulls away, jarring loose a few locks of hair that had been tucked behind my ear. I am in a trance now; my eyelids lower, my mouth hangs open. Smiling, he gives one final kiss at the corner of my brow that is light, and yet so fond that I begin to tremble.

Even when he is hardly doing anything at all, he has the ability to leave me breathless.

“Achilles,” I whisper. It is the only thing I can say when there is nothing else that needs to be said.

“Patroclus,” he murmurs in answer. His voice is heavy with desire. I want him to always sound this way when he says my name.

READ THE REST ON AO3 HERE!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/41398932

(*Technically a Hades Patrochilles ficlet I wrote beat this one to the ao3 publish button, but this one is certainly the first published patrochilles fic I actually started working on so I’m still giving it the title, haha)

[xxsp3llb0undxx]

howdy! i'm not sure if you're still taking twilight writing prompt requests, but if you are, could i get a 5 (in random prompts section) with jasper hale? bonus points if it's with a pregnant reader!

Immortality and its flaws (Jasper Hale x Pregnant!Reader)

Prompt: R5 - "I swear to the holy ghost, if I catch you; you'll be deader than you already are."

Disclaimer: Please do not repost my work to other sites or claim as your own, this is purely written from my imagination and from the help of the franchise. All rights of the main storyline goes to the writers and producers of Twilight.

Summary - Reader is Jaspers pregnant mate, they've been together for the last 5 years. Jasper decides to play a prank on his mate with his adoptive brothers, Edward and Emmett; only they didn't expect to be running away from her in fear of being scolded like a bunch of children. Which lets be honest, they are.

MASTERLIST CULLENS

Y/n's pregnancy was a surprise to everyone; including Jasper, but that didn't mean he wasn't thrilled to be a dad. The first couple weeks of her carrying their child were probably the hardest, still being human and having to drink blood to make sure their child was well nourished wasn't exactly what Y/n planned on happening but anything for her baby. Jasper was nothing but loving and caring, he would go out of his way to make sure Y/n was comfortable and nothing was hurting her.

After the first month of the pregnancy, Y/n was slowly able to get up and walk around the Cullen house without being supervised every second, but of course Jasper was still lurking around in case of his mate needing him. That was until one day Jasper wasn't there to help Y/n, he was instead, planning a prank with his two adoptive brothers; Edward and Emmett. It was just supposed to be light hearted, never truly anything to aggravate anyone. Alice was in on it too, she was not to tell Y/n what the boys were conspiring, in return they said they would bring the petite, fairy -like vampire on a shopping spree whenever she wanted.

And so the planning began, the three vampires were sat outback on an unusually sunny Friday afternoon; Edward kept reading Y/n's mind to make sure Alice was keeping her occupied for the time being, feeling reassured enough to walk back to his brothers, Edward heard Emmett's bounding laugh bounce off the surrounding trees. "So, what have you come up with?" Jasper's lips stretched into a wide grin, his amber eyes twinkling with mischief. In this moment, he was the living embodiment of the Cheshire Cat. Jasper explained to Edward what Emmett had proposed, the bronze haired boy was all on board to go forward with their little escapade.

Y/n was sleeping peacefully when the Cullen boys started to move all of Y/n's favourite snacks to the lower shelves in the kitchen, knowing full well her swollen stomach would restrict her from being able to reach them. Emmett's laughter roared throughout the house, the blonde vampires trying to shush him in fear their prank would be cut short from Jasper's mate waking up. Luckily, Alice had come downstairs and told the trio they were in the clear for now but Y/n would wake up any minute.

The Cullens boys rushed around to finish off anything that had to be done to make this prank the best it could be. Five minutes later, they heard one of the doors upstairs open, they were met with a waft of honey and the smell of grass after it had been raining; it was Y/n. Jasper rushed upstairs and took a hold of his mate. "What are you doing up out of bed? You're not strong enough to be walking around." His thick southern accent more noticeable, that only happened when he was worried or anxious about something.

Her bright e/c stared into Jaspers amber ones, she held such a soft look in her eyes; the same look that she always uses in an attempt to assure her mate everything was okay. "I was hungry, so I thought I would go down stairs and get something to eat." Her voice was velvety, it made Jasper's still heart skip a beat. Said vampire picked up his mate and carried her down the stairs, he wasn't going to risk her getting hurt from falling down the ash wood stairs. Once they had reached the bottom, Alice had come over to help Y/n walk to the kitchen.

The fairy-like vampire knew of the prank her adoptive brothers were pulling and she knew how cruel it was but, boys will be boys she thought. Y/n started rummaging through the cupboards trying to find her favourite snacks to eat, she let out a frustrated sigh as she stretched her arm as far as possible to open the doors to the cupboards beside her legs, the pain in her back accompanied by her swollen stomach stopped her from being able to bend down. Once the thin slab of wood finally pulled open, Y/n saw a glimpse of her favourite snacks pushed behind the cleaning products. She was livid, how dare they move her beloved snacks.

Quiet laughs came from the living room, before Y/n could confront her mate or his brothers, Alice had broken away from her vision; Edward knew what was coming next so instead of sticking around for Jasper's angry, hormonal mate to come and murder them; he starts running for his life, his brothers hot on his tails. When Y/n finally managed to hobble her way to the living room, the three vampires were gone. She knew they were still around somewhere, close enough to hear her. "I swear to the holy ghost, if I catch you; you'll be deader than you already are. You better run, Hale."

To say the least, Jasper didn't come back home for a few hours until he was certain his mate had calmed down a little bit. When he finally came to his sense, though, he was met with an extremely angry Y/n. She told him she would only forgive him if he cuddled her and told her all the stories about his life prior to meeting her, and of course, new snacks.

[bubuslutty]

Day 3: Cat Crisis

this is part 3, all parts

pairing: demon/angel!fem reader x 141

word count: 2.5k

tags: a bit of lusting cuz my boys r hot, naughty moments but nothing nsfw, proofread by me so sorry for any mistakes

warnings: smoking

summary: Kuromi gets stuck on a tree, Angel almost has a heart attack and she finally meets Simon, properly.

a/n: this is just fun and silly really. I hope u enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it 💖 ALSO!! VERY IMPORTANT!! I can't seem to be able to tag some of you, even if the username is correct, so please check your settings.

Angel has to admit, she likes this assignment quite a lot. It was fun, living in a nice house in a quiet neighbourhood, with interesting and fascinating neighbours. At least, the ones that live to her left because her neighbours to her right are an old couple who barely make any noise, you'd think nobody even lives in their house.

That trip to Tesco was more fun than she expected. Turns out that Johnny was funnier than she imagined, nothing in his file could have prepared her for Soap's colourful character and hilarious jokes. And Kyle was as charming and intelligent and quick to joke as she'd imagined.

And Price was calm and collected, making sure that the two men didn't get in trouble in the store. But it didn't make hanging out with him any less fun, oh he was plenty fun, Angel knows it, and can practically taste it. It's just going to take a bit of work to make him open up. Angel can't wait to start working with him.

About the actual shopping, the men proved themselves useful and very helpful. Angel was grateful for this because buying food and cooking was a bit of a hassle and she gets overwhelmed with the stupid amount of choices for the same fucking thing. They recommended certain snacks, drinks, food combos, and things easy and quick to cook, and even helped her pick out the freshest fruits and vegetables. Eating was hard, Angel has no idea how humans do it every day.

When they paid for everything, Angel was pleased and surprised when Price went ahead and grabbed her shopping for her without saying anything. She told him he didn't have to, that she could carry her things by herself with no problem, but he claimed it was the least a gentleman could do.

No matter what Angel told him, he refused to give them to her until they reached the car and he told her to dig inside his pocket to unlock the car and open the trunk. "Your Captain is so stubborn," Angel complained to the other two men, with a pout on her face.

"Tell me about it." Gaz sighed, making her giggle in disbelief.

Now she was happily suckling on an orange-flavoured popsicle, sitting on her dining table, facing the garden's opened door. She was enjoying the sunlight and breeze on her skin when a very loud scream startled her. Angel nearly dropped her popsicle when her eyes zeroed on the big tree at the back of her garden, and Kuromi right at the top, screaming for help.

Angel gasped in horror, throwing her unfinished popsicle in the trash and running outside her garden, barefoot. Angel has no idea if her cat has the same sort of abilities as she does. She is immortal, that she’s sure of, but whether Kuromi can get hurt or not is a mystery to Angel. And she doesn't feel like testing that theory today at all.

"Kuromi! How did you get up there?!" Angel was actually panicking, as she looked at the many branches the tree had and just how high her stupid cat decided to climb. How the hell is she supposed to get her cat down without using her powers to do something so ridiculous that the Wish Office will phone her, and ask if she's out of her mind?

"Kuromi, you stupid fucking idiot, you'll die!" Angel was now on the verge of tears. She loved her stupid cat to death, and would rather die instead of watching her kitty get hurt. Angel approached the tree, squinting her eyes and looking up at the branches and thick leaves, seeing if she could climb up.

Angel was so preoccupied with trying to figure out how to save her cat, that she didn't notice Ghost smoking while leaning against the door that separates their kitchen and garden. He had a plain grey zip-up hoodie, a pair of loose black sweats and his skull mask on, hunched up on his nose bridge, keeping his lower face out so he could easily smoke.

He silently watched Angel argue with her cat. He knows a bit about his neighbour from Soap and Gaz, and he has to admit, not only she's pretty but intelligent. Even though his guys seemed to like her, Ghost doesn't easily trust people and she's no exception. He kept watching her struggle, on the verge of tears, until he decided to put his cigarette out.

Ghost silently walked down their garden while lowering his mask back down. It was so stupid how low the fence was. It just reached his waist and it would be so easy for him to jump into her garden. And that's exactly what he did, jumping over the fence with one hand on it for support.

Angel slightly jumped when he stood next to her. She didn't hear him come over, and she just stared up at the man with panicked eyes. She knew he was Simon, the pretty blue eyes were the same along with the pale eyelashes.

Simon was not even looking at her, he was looking up at the tree where Kuromi was. Angel took the opportunity to really look at him. He was absolutely fucking huge, for no reason at all. And he had sleeve tattoos on his veiny arms, Angel thanked fate that Simon decided to roll up his sleeves because his tattoos are beautiful. And what's even prettier, is the skin of his neck and collarbone. He wasn't wearing anything underneath the zip-up hoodie and Angel felt her mouth water.

Simon finally looked down at her, and Angel immediately opened her mouth to speak, "Do you think you can help me get Kuromi down, please?"

Simon gazed down at her hopeful eyes, and simply nodded, "Stand back."

Angel nodded, "Thank you so much!"

She stepped away and watched the man get closer to the tree. "Be careful!" Angel said, her hands clasped against her chest, watching Simon work his way up the tree quickly.

"Kuromi, you hurt him and I'll fist-fight you!" Angel shouted at her cat, who hissed back down at her owner.

Simon couldn't help but chuckle at the woman's antics and when he knew if he climbed any higher, no branch would support his weight, he broke one with his bare hand and used it as a makeshift ladder for the cat. He stretched his body as much as he could, "Come on, kitty, get over here." Simon crooned.

To his utter surprise, the cat listened and started slowly scooting over towards him on a shaky branch. Kuromi successfully reached Simon's branch and held onto it very tightly and Simon gently lowered the cat down towards him. As soon as she was easily reachable, he grabbed the cat by the scruff of her neck and hugged her to his chest with one hand.

"Alright, now how can I get down with you?..." Simon mumbled and hummed when he got an idea. He hugged the cat with one arm and used the other to zip off his hoodie, using his thick thighs for support so he wouldn't fall.

Angel watched with awe how Simon managed to completely take off his zip-up hoodie, leaving his glorious amazing upper half naked, and bundled up Kuromi in the hoodie. Simon glanced down at Angel and smirked under his mask, "Catch!"

Angel literally screamed and he laughed, almost tearing up. "You dickhead!" Angel shouted, ripping grass from the ground out of anger and throwing it towards his direction.

Simon made a makeshift fanny pack using the hoodie's sleeves, securing Kuromi against his chest while he carefully climbed down. When he wasn't too far from the ground, he decided to jump off and roll to safety, with the cat still clutched against his chest.

Angel almost fainted and immediately ran to Simon as he stood up, dusting off his knees. "My baby!" She cried, grabbing her cat from the hoodie and kissing the kitty over and over on her small face.

Simon watched the woman with amusement as she checked over her cat and finally looked at Simon, her cat still in his arms. "Thank you so much for saving the life of my dumbass cat. But if you scare me like that again, I will make you regret it." She said, pressing a finger to Simon's naked chest.

He glanced down at her finger and met her eyes cooly, "You're welcome."

"You actually scared me so much, probably even more than Kuromi did!" Angel sighed, nuzzling her face in her cat's fur. Now Simon actually feels a bit guilty for scaring her and scratched the back of his neck.

"Do you want a cup of coffee?" He offered.

Angel lifted her head, surprised, "Cup of coffee?"

"To apologise."

Angel blinked at the man and cracked a small smile, "I think I'd like that."

Simon gave her an awkward nod and jumped over the fence and turned to her, hoodie held in his hand. "Come on."

Angel looked at the fence and then at her cat still in her arms, "Uhm, okay, hold Kuromi for me."

She walked closer to the fence, holding Kuromi so Simon could grab her. But Simon dodged the cat and held her by the armpits, just like she was holding her cat and easily lifted her over the fence. Angel squealed and wrapped her legs around his waist and wrapped one arm around his neck while the other was holding Kuromi against her chest.

Simon froze, his hands hovering over her back.

"What are you guys doing?"

Angel and Simon whipped their heads towards the voice and saw Soap holding a basket full of clean laundry, ready to hang it outside to dry while Gaz held a smaller basket of colourful pegs.

"Uhm, nothing!" Angel let out a nervous laugh and jumped off Simon, rushing inside their home with her cat in her arms.

Soap and Gaz glanced at each other and then back at Simon, "Why are you shirtless?" Gaz asked.

"Had to use my hoodie for the cat." Was Simon's dry answer and he walked inside, leaving Soap and Gaz with even more questions.

He found Angel awkwardly standing in the middle of their kitchen, and noticed that she was barefoot. "Wait here." He said and left the kitchen.

Angel took the opportunity to look around the kitchen. It was tidy and didn't have any plants or any sort of decoration. The fridge did have some menus and coupon codes for Domino's on it. However, next to the kettle, there was an impressive coffee machine, the sort that's expensive with many settings, fancy buttons and cool gadgets.

Angel barely drinks coffee, almost never, but now she was excited to see Simon work the cool machine.

She heard footsteps and turned around. Ghost was back and dressed in a t-shirt now, he also had a pair of slippers in his hands. "Wear these." He placed the pair next to her feet and Angel did as he said, heart fluttering in her chest, how silly.

"What would you like?" He asked, turning around and washing his hands in the sink.

"What?" Angel said, staring at his ass, completely distracted.

"Coffee. What sort of coffee would you like?" He turned back around, just as Angel ripped her eyes from his ass.

"Uhm," Angel gulped, she had no idea if he caught her staring or not but she wanted to scream either way. "I don't drink coffee that much, so make me something sweet, please."

Ghost stared at her silently, which made Angel nervous. Did she say something weird?

"What's wrong?"

Simon shrugged, "Nothing." and went straight to work, preparing mugs and pressing this button and that button on the coffee machine.

Both Angel and Kuromi were intensely staring at the beeping sleek machine and Simon smiled when he noticed. "What does Kuromi mean?"

"The name itself or who is she named after?" Angel ripped her eyes away from the coffee machine and looked over at Simon.

"Both."

Angel smiled, "Well, according to Google, Kuromi in Japanese means 'black beauty', but I've named her after a cartoon character whose name is Kuromi. Actually, Let me show you."

Simon glanced at the woman as she dug her hand in her pocket and retrieved her phone, opening google."That's Kuromi," Angel said, making Simon lean closer so he can see better.

"What type of creature is that?" Simon asked, squinting his eyes and trying to guess what type of animal the character was.

"It's actually a white bunny wearing a black jester hat! See! It even has a little pink skull! And instead of having a fluffy tail, she has a devil's tail, isn't she cute?" Angel said, Simon looked at her then back down at the cat in his arms.

"But your cat isn't a rabbit." Simon said.

"I know! But look! She's white with black ears! And a black tail! And she's mischievous just like Kuromi! And I gave her a pink collar with a pink skull!" Angel said, practically vibrating next to Simon, eyes big and literally glowing.

Simon tilted his head down and lifted the kitty's chin up, seeing the shiny skull dangling off the collar. He turned the skull over, reading Angel's full name and phone number.

"I can see the similarities." Simon hummed, giving the cat scratches, making her purr.

"There's another similarity, actually." Angel grinned.

"Really?" Simon said, still scratching the cat.

"Between Kuromi and you!" Angel said, and Simon lifted his head, meeting her eyes, he raised a brow, prompting her to spit it out.

"The skulls, silly!" Angel giggled.

Oh, yeah. The skulls.

Simon unconsciously reached for his mask but stopped his hand before it caressed the hand painted skull. The machine beeped and Simon removed the mug from under the machine, opening the cupboards to get sugar.

"Can we join you for a cup of coffee?" Soap suddenly asked, entering the kitchen, followed by Gaz.

"Of course, this is your house." Angel smiled and Gaz immediately ran to the cat in her arms, cooing and petting the little thing.

"And you have to tell us how you ended up on him while he was shirtless, which he wasn't, earlier in the day." Soap said while getting snacks.

"Okay, and did you know that your friend Simon is actually an evil little shit?" Angel said, as if it was the most shocking thing ever while she sat down at the table next to Gaz, who was holding her cat in his arms.

"Ghost, call me Ghost." Simon quickly corrected her.

"Ghost actually scared the shit out of me, I thought I was going to die!" Angel continued without missing a beat.

"You thought you were going to die? What the hell happened while I was in the shower?" Price said, walking inside the kitchen, wearing a white t-shirt and a pair of shorts, hair still wet.

"Oh my days, John, sit down and let me tell you what he did!" Angel groaned, patting the other seat next to her.

"Well, alright then." John shrugged and sat down.

Simon sighed, placing her mug down and getting more mugs out to make coffee for everyone, "Fucking hell…"

tag list (pls ask to be added or removed): @obiwankenobis-lap @goapgrim @smalldemonlover @loveyhoneydovey @cutiecusp @pinkwigonmytv @mandythemint @itsberrydreemurstuff @tapioca-marzipan @fruitymoonbeams-blog @poohkie90 @chaoticevilbakugo @anubis-reed @thefairybird @skytacvia @marytvirgin @cynicalmnm @maechanexe @t0jis-worm @1800imgay @4ndjelij4 @multitargaryen @lilpothoscuttings @mysticalpandabear

[multifandombullshitbabes]

21

24

27

And

30

LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

thank you so much, I shall answer these prompts NEOW

21: Fics you wish you could find more of?

Oooohhh more fics involving Gwen, that's for sure. When she's written right she's one of the strongest, most relatable characters imo, 'cause all she wants is for the world to be right and just and kind and everything wants to prove her wrong, but she won't back down from her views. I would also adore more Elyan, just in general. And complete rewrites of the show 'cause the one I'm reading right now is so good I might do one as well. Also modern au's where they're all like secret badass spies or smth, 'cause those are so fucking cool (i am accepting fic recs for ALL of this, please feed me y'all)

24: Everyone knows that fandom doesn’t like uther but what are your feelings about gaius?

I think 1) we need more concrete info about how he was when he was younger, but 2) i think he is severely complicated and wanted what was best of merlin and morgana, but failed the two while also giving them a ton of love. With morgana, he just didnt want her to pursue her power lest she become uther's next victim, cuz gaius cares for the pendragon siblings like his own. With merlin, he was just trying his best with his overpowered nephew, who alos has a destiny regarding his people's genocide's son, and he just doesn't know what to do half the time, kinda like merlin. I didnt like how he lied to merlin n morgana, how he gaslit her and how he made merlin hide and become so anxious abt his magic (and we see what that looks like season 5), but i get it. I really get it. I dont know what i wouldve done if one wrong move could mean the death of two kids he considers his own. I bet he was scared all the time and hated himself for it.

27: Modern Merlin headcanons, if any?

OH BOY. OHHHH BOY. So many. It really depends on what au i have for modern merlin, but I'll give you a few generals:

he's a teacher of sorts; i like the idea that he's kinda collecting magical anomalies and teaching them how to understand their powers and being, since he knows what its like to be afraid of urself, so he's a personal magic teacher. I also rly like my magic elementary school au, since its merlin teaching magic to a bunch of kids, which is adorable

he has officially one cat, a black one called Midnight, that accidentally became immortal along the way and now hes severally attached. I say officially since hes also friends with any other animal that he might come across and they recognise him if he passes them again. disney princess fr

he's figured out his gender and he can turn into a woman if he wants; she looks exactly like merlin, same height, same weight n muscles, the hair is longer cuz merlin likes it that way and her voice is deep and gorgeous

his favourite weapon is a staff or any long distance fighting weapon of the sort; also he looks cool as fuck fighting with it, but thats just a bonus

I'll stop here but i have SO MANY MORE

30: Side character death that makes you the maddest?

Elyan. There was, quite literally, no need for it. I was gonna say Lancelot, since we did not get enough of him, but his death made sense for his character. Elyan? What the fuck was that? It was just for pain and nothing else. What did it add to the story if not just a sad funeral scene and thats it? It just felt like they wanted him gone n found a way, and that pisses me off. I feel like him saving gwen and living would've given such a complex situation when she turns evil, 'cause what if she "confides" more n more in her brother, creating a rift between arthur n elyan, which then creates a rift between arthur n the knights, which would just isolate him further n make him suffer, which is what morgana wanted!! we couldve had protective brother elyan! I think i just wanted more knights in general.

Thank you so much for this ask, I yapped a fuck ton but it was funn