#if i can get under 100 hours before i finish up all the routes i will count myself lucky. and normal. soso normal

[luckydicekirby]

i gotta say the cathedral looks and feels MUCH more dramatic inside in classic. they should've given aglaya the spooky really saturated red backdrop in patho2 she deserves it

also block's music is a BANGER

[scullz1013]

I had a great time in Stockholm but the real reason for going to Sweden was to go to the far north - Jukkasjärvi, which is north of the arctic circle.

Annabelle, who is my sorority big sister got married in a candlelit forest ceremony, which she had hoped might have also been illuminated by the northern lights. Sadly this wasn't to be but it was still beautiful and so was she, check her out in photo 10!

On the day we arrived we all did a traditional sauna ritual which involved jumping into a very cold lake and then getting into a very hot bath, it was definitely the most invigorating thing I have done after travelling!

We stayed at the Ice Hotel which has both normal hotel rooms and rooms made entirely of ice that you can stay in. Nothing would posses me to sleep on a block of ice when there is a perfectly serviceable bed available but the hotel is open during the day for anyone to explore and that was a lot of fun. There is a bar that serves drinks in glasses made of ice (when you finish your drink, you go and throw your "glass" into the lake so that it can go back to where it came from) and then one long, snow lined corridor with the rooms people stay in on one side and rooms that are purely ice art on the other. Every room is different and they are genuinely amazing to walk through. Photos 1-7 show some of my favourite bits but I honestly could have stayed looking at it all for hours it was so stunning. The hotel is also completly rebuilt every year, so if I ever get to go back there I will see completly different rooms.

Photos 9 and 10 are Toni (my sorority grand big who I haven't seen for ages) and I after we had been in the ice hotel before getting ready for the wedding ceremony in the evening. When we met again it was in fancy dresses with leggings and boots because although it wasn't snowing it was still pretty chillly for an evening in the forest. All the wedding guests were taken by bus to the forest and we then had to follow a candlit trail to the ceremony area where we got some mulled wine while we waited for Annabelle to arrive. She and Jordan got married under the stars and we all cheered and then went and had champagne in ice glasses around a big fire. It really was a very nice wedding. We went back to the hotel restaurant for a very fancy dinner including one of the best wedding cakes I have had (which is saying something because I used to work at a wedding venue and I have eaten a lot of wedding cake in my life) it had four contrasting flavour layers and was really tasty.

The final day of the trip started understandably late but was almost as exciting as the previous day because I went ATV dog sledding. Obviously you can't sled without snow, so the huskies pull a little buggy along instead. There are 14 dogs in each team and a guide takes you on one of the routes they use to train for races and tells you all about them and how they are cared for and how they prepare for races. After a 14 kiometere ride we were able to meet all the huskies indvidually and then go and play with some of the puppies - this particular racing kennel has over 100 dogs. The guide then took us to warm up with some coffee and cinnamon buns. I'd watched a documentary called "Snow Dogs" (still available on iPlayer) before I left about someone learning to race huskies so I felt like I knew a little bit but the guide taught us so much and it was such a fun and unusual experience. A great way to end a great trip.

History, ice, fire and huskies - tack själv Sverige!

[elvenbeard]

Not me absolutely bingeing through the last 40 hours of Cyberpunk 2077 over the last 3 days, nope. I was actually shaking before starting the final questline, because there were so many FEARS about what might happen at the end (probably as much as V was shaking himself :’D)

All I knew was, there are several endings, some are better, some are worse, but zero specifics. In some regards, what I imagined, was a lot worse, in others it was exactly what I imagined, in other bits it was a lot worse than I expected but in a bittersweet kind of way?

I’m not 100% happy with the ending I got, but mainly due to a lack of hyper-specific dialogue choices I would have wished for during the ideal ending in my head XD But for my V I think it was the best outcome and also fitted him and his choices. So yay! My heart was a little bit cracked, but not ripped out in the way other games have done it with their endings (*side-eyes Mass Effect 3*), because I feel like my choices did matter overall.

MASSIVE Spoilers under the cut, so if you haven’t completed the game yourself, do not read!!!

I got the Sun ending! V lives, somewhat, yay xD

One of my biggest fears and worst case scenarios I was imagining was in relation to Jackie actually. I had the outcome that Arasaka took his body after the Coup (will do that differently next time though, now that I know of the alternatives... yes I read up so much stuff on the wiki tonight after finishing, finally xDD). So when Takemura tells you this, Arasaka took his body, probably put him through Soulkiller, etc. my immediate thought was “holy shit, please don’t let him show up in some evil twisted way during the ending just to have me suffer” (but also, that would have been so good XD). Didn’t happen though, thankfully xD

I was on quite good terms with Johnny actually, which I did not expect to be at all, see also my previous rants on the topic XD Letting him take the wheel scared me probably just as much as V, and his “just talking to Rogue about Adam Smasher” night of escapades didn’t really help ease that anxiety xD I’m not sure if I had high enough friendship for the secret ending, but I will reload my save to try (but will not attempt that ending til my next playthrough, bc admittedly, my V isn’t built for a suicide mission xD)

What made me the saddest about the Sun ending really is that V isn’t really that present or happy (for obvious reasons, of, you know, STILL impeding death), and that his relationship is suffering under it. But I like to imagine, given the slight open-endedness of that ending (ha), if someone can pull that final mission off, it’s V, and that Mr B. will be able to help him, and he’ll get some well deserved rest and happily ever after. Already wrote a whole fic in my head lying up wide awake in bed for three hours XD What I probably loved the most about the Sun ending is V’s penthouse XD It’s weird, I know, but I often started or ended my gaming sessions in his flat looking out of the window. So everytime I booted up the game I look out and see that nice lush garden and cool architecture across the street and think “man, whoever lives there has made it, wonder if I can go there myself at some point later”. Yes, I can!! It made me cry out loud once I figured out where that penthouse was xD Also, what kind of made the ending for me a lot, in terms of, “what fits my character best” was the ride in the AV to the Afterlife mirroring my corpo V’s ride in the AV to Lizzie’s in the very beginning super well (I have zero clues about the Streetkid and Nomad prologues - no spoilers in the comments please! - but maybe there’s a scene like that in those, too). But yes, the circle of life and all, you know *strums guitar*.

I didn’t expect Johnny to grow on me as much as he did during that last stretch of the game, and him having to go for V to get a final chance at living did make me really sad. I still don’t think I’d be able to go down the alternative route where he is the one to walk out of the tower. Waaay too attached to V by now, sorry Johnny xD But you’ll never be forgotten, and I mean in a way legends never die. And maybe it’s not the last Night City ever saw or heard of him.

What else... the other main story characters! I think what annoyed me a little bit was that sliiiight railroading into Panam’s romance, when you’re just wanting to be nice. I enjoy her as a character a lot, because she’s loud and unapologetic, but also has a really sweet and soft side about her. I like the Aldecaldos very much, too. But when I notice I’m being railroaded it’s a hard pass for me, sorry xD

Then Judy... Judy is love, Judy is life. Her final quest was one of my favourites, and the one apart from the ending the quest that made me cry the most, probably. I love that she stays in contact with a befriended V even after leaving the city. The little updates, how happy she is now that she left the city behind, are really really lovely. Also, I love her texting style XD *types one line then hits send, rinse and repeat* - because I tend to do that too. Also, from the moment she mentions she goes diving I wished she’d take V along at some point - so when she calls about it I again screamed irl about it XD Oh, Judy... I have a female V in my head for you, but no idea when I’ll get to play her XD

I would have wished for something similar with River, him keeping in touch a bit more, because I loved his (messed up) storyline a lot, and I would have loved a few more interactions afterwards! I think I need to space it out more next time to have more of him xD

Then Kerry, another heavy case of “is love, is life” omg. His questline was the perfect mix of feels and fun like *chef’s kiss*. Same with River kind of, I wish there had been even more quests with him, but since you only meet him very late in the game it still felt like you had a chance to get to know him better with not too much else going on simultaneously. And him being more involved in the main story than River, too! For his final quest, the beginning of the boat tour was one of the best scenes in the game for me, like oof... Got me really really emotional actually. And then... CARNAGE!! I loved it, love Kerry, 100000/10.

Then Takemura... man, you know, it’s a crime he’s not a romance option, but in hindsight, knowing his possible fates now, I think that might have actually killed me. I’m tempted to go down the Arasaka ending route just once for the sole reason to get more Takemura time really. Fuck everyone else on that path with a corkscrew XD But yes, A+++ character design with him, complex, layered, relatable (esp. for my Corpo V), foodie, but also absolutely blind when it comes to his loyalties and honor. All with good reasons, but aaahhh... let me fix him!! Let me change him!! XDD  Also he had the best first appearance of any of the main story characters imo! Epic badass.

But yes... what a fucking blast that was. Can’t wait for a replay with some slightly better choices here and there, trying the other lifepath quests, trying some different endings maybe, and skilling my V better XD There’s so many options to skill them, it’s insane, but knowing my fighting style (or not fighting - stealth ftw!)  much better now and what the max level roughly is I think I can make more informed choices. Really looking forward to a replay - also with a lot less anxiety now, and a little bit of faith in complex, bittersweet endings finally restored XD

[nfornaomi]

May 29 2023 - Elfstedentocht day!

Where and how to start describing what I'd been determinedly training for for...4ish months? 😊

In sum: 14,000+ cyclists, 235 kilometers in total, just under 11 hours on the bike, 14.5 hours total including breaks. 1 fall, lots of food, strong winds, and 100% fun!

We technically had a 5:56am start time but didn't get going until close to 7 due to traffic getting into Bolsward and the huge line to get the first stamp at the start point. It was all going well until we approached Harlingen (the second town) and I fell off my bike during a wide right turn due to a split second of inattention 😅. Bloodied my knee rather badly and it ended up throbbing and seeping blood for most of the day. After that slight mishap, most of the day went by amazingly well. A few fun things to remember:

First - the energy! There were crowds at every segment; from front yard neighbourhood parties blasting music to families sitting on lawn chairs throughout the route cheering us on.

Second - the food! Rob told me beforehand that this would be an eating competition as much as a cycling event. You have to CONSTANTLY eat to make up for the calories you're burning. I thought I would have no issues in this competition since I love to eat, but it got really hard partway through. There's only so many sandwiches you can eat in a day before it becomes a chore 😛. We packed Nutella and butter and jam sandwiches, and Lars' parents were absolutely amazing and met us at 3 different points with tons of food. Egg sandwiches, chicken sandwiches, cheese sandwiches, cold cut sandwiches, raisin buns, energy drinks, bananas, apples, etc. For the most part you also have to wolf down your snacks really fast since you're not taking a break at every city. So everyone is stuffing their faces while lining up / walking their bikes to get their stamps - and I'm also not great at eating fast, haha. I did love the fact that at a random point biking through farmland, kids handed out apples so you could cycle and eat at the same time, or there would be a turnoff to pick up a banana or energy gel, or when we got soup at the midpoint back at Bolsward. At the end of the day I think I'd eaten 7 sandwiches, 1 apple, 2 bananas, 4 dates, 1 granola bar, 1 soup, 1 snelle jelle, 1 piece of chocolate, half an energy gel, and looking back, I should've eaten more.

Third - the breaks! Aside from Lars' parents, we also met up with our 'support team' (the rest of the high school friends). They took the motorbikes and also brought some snacks and good chats at 3 different points so it broke up the day nicely.

Fourth - the struggle! Strong winds meant great cycling when it was tailwind (mostly the middle part of the total route). It also meant difficult cycling during headwind (the first 80km and last 30km). The first 80 was fine, the last 20 was SO difficult, especially the section towards Workum (second last city). At that point my legs had run out of gas, I was cold due to the really chilly wind, and it felt like I was going on slow motion and just couldn't keep up. I seriously wondered if I had any more to give or if I'd make it to the end going literally 10km/hr at a snail's pace. But related to #3, it turned out I just needed more fuel 😂. We took a 10min break at Workum where I scarfed down half a snelle jelle and a granola bar and when we got on the saddle again for the last 12km, I actually felt human and had a ton more energy than before.

Fifth - the end! It was super cool to make it to the finish and see so many smiling faces cheering and clapping. In addition to the final stamp and the medal, I completed the day with a Red Cross volunteer wrapping a hypothermia blanket around me since I was shiveringly cold 😂.

Painful knee and gold hypothermia robe aside, I'm so happy I made it to the end and it really felt like all the hard work paid off ⭐️🥹.

[randomsloredrops]

Random's Lore Drops - MY NAME IS METTATON-

That's right, you heard the title. I can't really make anything else creative so here's mettaton lore drop ig

So, Mettaton. Aside from My name is Mettaton and I am here to say, with the power of NEO I stand in your way, I'm not sure what to say. Which is why I shall resort to my ultimate source. The Undertale Wiki (i don't have the ability to play through the game and i'm not spending twenty hours to find lore on one character), so time to uhhh CUE THE READ MORE

k thanks cameraman, anyways. Mettaton, or 'Hapstablook' (according to game files for the house) is a... Ghost, possessing a box. He is also the cousin of Mad Mew Mew/Mad Dummy and Napstablook... oh, and also the first dummy you encounter (did you know that there's a ghost in that dummy? and mad dummy (specifically mad dummy form) says that the ghost in that dummy was their cousin, so by extension, it's napstablook and mettaton's cousin). Mettaton, as we meet him, is a TV Host for DRAMA, ACTION, BLOODSHED, and always goes for the ratings. He does actually show some semblance of care for other characters, despite the self-centered act and all, such as Alphys (in ruler mettaton route), and obviously Napstablook (because they're cousins and napstablook don't know that). His initial attempts to kill the human were because Alphys wanted him to, and that's it. He listened to her plan, and the reason he fights you as the boss before Asgore was just (according to the wiki) not to let Asgore take your SOUL and "be seen as a hero/savior to humankind" (wild aint it?). During all of his challenges, if you fail, there's always an excuse as to why he can't hurt you. The first one is in the quizzical quizzes that he gives you at his first meetup, where he just doesn't kill you even if you fail all the questions, and that the show has lost all dramatic tension and he dips. In the cooking show, if you fail, commercial break starts out of nowhere, and if you win, he reveals that the cake was already baked, letting you run off scott(the woz)-free and dipping. The bomb room, if you don't deactivate them in time (a little under three minutes), alphys defuses the big bomb. If you defuse the bombs, alphys defuses the big bomb. Either way you're safe. In... oh god it's actually called UNDERTALE the Musical (room with tile puzzle), mettaton deactivates the fire wall if the puzzle is done, and alphys deactivates it if you don't finish it in time, also he fights you anyways but it's resolved the same way. Now, in GENOCIDE, we have a semi-different story aside from, y'know... he gets fucking one-shot. He stops you in the genocide route, saying that you aren't just a threat to Monsters, but to humanity as well (he doesn't know you erase the timeline but he knows that you'll wipe them out), then states that he can't be a star without an audience. That, and that there are some people that he wants to protect, before showing off his sick-ass true form. If you kill him before you can finish the number of kills in the CORE and Hotland, he'll state that he knows you were holding back. And that you weren't TRULY evil, and if you were trying to be... you messed up, and that he can rest now, knowing that not just humans, but Alphys will live on, and thus, aborted genocide (leads to leader alphys ending). And if you actually do the genocide route, he'll just go 'guess you don't want to join my fan club?' and fucking die. but yeah, imma be 100% real wichu chief, boss, head honcho, leader, jefe, other variation of boss, mettaton surprisingly isn't just the character i thought he was. He has... lore (don't they all?), but, more than just the lore i expected from him. Anyways, 2 AM drawing time and then i'll schedule it for morning when i'm done drawing the Mettaton art.

[pcttrailsidereader]

Another PCT Speed Record Breaks

An excerpt from Grayson Haver Currin's story in Outside online about Josh Perry's self-supported PCT speed record.

An enduring speed record on the Pacific Crest Trail has fallen. On Sunday, August 7, at 8:56 P.M., Josh Perry—a 27-year-old British hiker —reached the Canadian border, finishing the 2,650-mile trail just 55 days, 16 hours, and 54 minutes after he departed the trail’s starting point near the U.S. border with Mexico.

His staggering time cut the 2009 male self-supported record of Scott Williamson by nearly ten days; Perry shaved five days off the overall self-supported record famously set by Heather “Anish” Anderson in 2013, a feat so impressive it survived a decade of near-constant attempts to beat it. (His record has not been officially verified, but an official at Fastest Known Times said Tuesday she expected it to be.) Anderson’s achievement, which established her as one of the world’s most wowing endurance athletes, is the very thing that lured Perry into long-distance hiking.

Perhaps most impressive of all, Perry finished within just four days of the supported record set last year by Timothy Olson, the Adidas-sponsored ultra-running superstar who slept most nights in a roadside RV with hot meals and sports massages. Being self-supported, Perry mailed himself shoes and supplies in advance and hiked into towns to pick them up. He did not get in a car to reach supplies or accept substantial assistance until Tuesday afternoon, when he emerged from the woods of northern Washington with a new record to his name. Besting Olson’s Fastest Known Time (FKT) was Perry’s true motivation.

“It is incredibly bittersweet, heartbreaking, to put so much effort into something for six weeks and come up short,” Perry said Tuesday afternoon from a hiker hostel in Mazama, the idyllic Cascade outpost closest to the finish. “This time doesn’t represent the best of what I can do. It represents the best of what I could do under the circumstances.”

Perry is talking about the reality of record-setting and thru-hiking at large in this era of escalated wildfires. He cruised for the PCT’s first 1,700 miles in California, finishing the state faster than any other recorded hiker—34 days, 3 hours, and 59 minutes. He shuffled or jogged many of those miles, setting a pace so aggressive he often slept six hours a night. (Those attempting FKTs sometimes deal with only two hours of sleep for days at a time.)

But in Oregon, a trail closure that remains in effect since the 2020 Lionshead Fire near Mount Jefferson forced Perry to find an alternate route that approximated the PCT. He followed badly overgrown trails on the Warm Springs Indian Reservation, and the brush was so thick that he spent seven hours bushwhacking for seven miles. He fell on wet rock scrambles, bruised ribs when he collided into a tree, and suffered a heatstroke after finally walking along a road in temperatures well above 100 degrees. Delirious and dehydrated, he began vomiting and defecating on himself. His condition was so bad that he momentarily decided to quit.

Perry’s decision to get on the PCT at all this year represents a remarkable personal commitment to keep going. In 2019, after setting a self-supported FKT on Vermont’s Long Trail, and before doing the same on the Arizona Trail, Perry made a southbound run on the PCT record. After clocking 49 miles per day for about 1,000 miles, he was stung by a wasp, unaware that he was allergic. Three days later, he collapsed on trail and had to be carried into town by three other hikers.

And then, just last year, Perry had a mental breakdown related to money that resulted in a suicide attempt. He survived, and as he considered the options for his future, he soon resolved to try for the record again this year. “Long-distance hiking is what I have done my entire adult life,” said Perry, who was born in Birmingham, moved around a lot as a child, and has spent about half of each year on trail since turning 18. “So when it came down to decide what I was going to do this year, the healthiest option was to go for a hike.”

Perry had big adventures planned for the end of his PCT hike—running the Colorado Trail, for instance, and hiking in the Olympic and Cascade mountains. But on Tuesday afternoon, he said those likely wouldn’t happen. He was simply delighted to have cleaned his cut, cracked feet completely for the first time in two weeks. He recounted a litany of overuse injuries, including muscles afflicted with tendinitis, and webs of bruises from exhausted falls in Washington state. For several hundred miles, he even carried a sealed role of duct tape to bind his right quadricep together should it tear, as he feared it might. “I cannot imagine putting a pair of climbing shoes on my feet right now,” he said.

[yokohamabeans]

WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN WRITER'S BLOCK HITS YOU? IM CURIOUS? LIKE THE ANON BEFORE, I ALSO LOVE YOUR WRITING STYLE. DONT EVER DOUBT YOURSELF. TELL ME YOUR TIPS. :DDD

ANON I SUFFER….. I SUFFER!!!!

For me, I usually get blocks on the words themselves rather than the scenes. For example, I pretty much have all the scenes planned out but sometimes, most of the times, I cannot seem to find the correct and appropriate words to convey the scene yknow? And even if I do manage to get something out I pretty much scrap chunks away and then agonize over the rewrite hahahaha

I recently kinda figured out a way to help?? I think…?? So when I’m facing a block, I will:

1. Check out books/other writings where I know there are similar scenes. Or perhaps just try to find pretty/well-written prose (either in fics or books or even simply articles). Since my blocks are on words, I’ll focus on how the other writers choose their words and diction. I’ve been stockpiling a buncha poems/poetry prose (under my #prose and poetry tag) for this purpose! It’s still really small but I’m intending to grow it more hehe. Sometimes I also take a shortcut and Google novels with specific plots and just try to find previews to get a taste of the writing.

2. (This is pretty basic and simple pls don’t laugh @ me) Look up synonyms for the word that best describes what I wanna say. Usually I think of a word, but it doesn’t quite capture the emotion/nuance, so I just look up similar words and phrases till I find something that fits. Very basic of me I know 🥲

3. Change bits/structures of the scene so I can start off with sentences or diction that flow better. For example in Chap 2 of ROAC, I initially intended to begin the scene right at MC’s house, but found it really hard somehow to put it in words (cuz I needed to set up and explain the context too). I ended up scrapping it all away and started the chapter with Kakucho en route to MC’s house instead, so there’s more “space” for me to write about his thoughts and feelings. I think I’m explaining this really badly haha but yeah this what I do as well in the face of a block. It’s not efficient though cuz I can spend like hours on a paragraph only to hit the backspace!!

Writer’s blocks are the absolute bane….. 6 years ago I had a writer’s block on my KnB fics and it lasted, well, 6 years (and counting…) It’s awful because I ended up falling out of love with the series which makes me less inclined to continue them. I do want to finish them some day though! But I have to admit my focus is 100% TokRev now haha.

Anyway yeah that’s how I’m dealing with blocks now!! I would also love to hear how you (and anyone else) cope with them too!!! AND THANK YOU FOR YOUR KIND WORDS!!!! ❤️❤️❤️

[dinner-djarin]

dar'manda (Mando x f!reader)

Chapter 1: The Only Way Out is Through

Summary: Things have been quiet since The Mandalorian's disappearing act on Nevarro. However, things change quickly at his sudden return, and the changes are sure to impact your own life. That is, if you don't screw it up for yourself.

Warnings: Canon typical violence, yearning/awkward flirting/reader doesn’t know how to act around Mando, Cara Dune lol (I feel like she needs a warning)

Word Count: 3.8k

Prologue - Next

In the weeks that the Mandalorian had been gone, things on Nevarro had taken a turn for the worse. Ever since making his grand escape, remaining Imperial officers seemed to get word of a Mandalorian bounty hunter gone rogue. He took some sort of “package” right out of their hands, and they really didn’t like that. So, they sent out every bounty hunter idiotic enough to go after a Mandalorian. And to double their efforts, they effectively made Nevarro their new base.

Well, that probably wasn’t exactly accurate, but either way it seemed like every stormtrooper left was sent to keep watch in case their prize ever returned.

You could not imagine that anyone would be stupid enough to come back to the place where they so flagrantly disregarded every rule of the Guild, and yet – there he was. Walking into town at the side of his...former boss. As he approached however, you noticed he probably wasn't there by choice. His hands were bound in front of him, and a muscley looking woman, with a very large gun, was not too far behind them. Well then, you think to yourself, I guess no one crosses the Guild, not even Mando.

Just as they enter town you being to consider the precarity of your own situation. With the town being occupied by stormtroopers, times are tough. Curfews have been put in place and wandering through town is highly discouraged. The marketplace has turned into a ghost town as people have become less and less inclined to spend time outside of their homes. They might come by for the basics, but business is definitely not what it used to be. So, you often find yourself with “free time” – moments you should realistically be working – where you instead spy on the invaders who have ruined your already unpleasant life. Basically, the exact thing you were doing in that very moment.

It's a matter of fate that he showed up just as you made your way to the town entrance. Even more so when you overhear a conversation between the Guild leader and the Mandalorians captor.

“Things got really heated once Mando crashed the safehouse” you hear the Guild leader say.

“Slip him his blaster” whispers the woman. These words bring you utter confusion. Did she mean slip Mando his blaster?

“Not yet,” he says under his breath.

And suddenly you are more confused than before. Why would she say something like that? How did any of this make sense? You’re thankful you were not seen as they pass by you, but you think you perceive a subtle change in the reflection from the shiny metal helmet that your eyes have been locked on to. His gaze fell to the metal orb that was trailing the trio through the city centre. When he looked back up however, he did not return his gaze to the direction he had been looking previously. Now you think, and you know it’s completely self-centred of you to do so, but you feel like he is staring straight at you. You don't think he would be able to see into the shadows that were providing your cover, but something about the angle of his visor as he walks by sends a shiver down your spine.

The three of them and the metal orb enter the cantina and you adjust your position in attempt for a better view. Only a few minutes later does a blaster shot eviscerate the long transparisteel window on the front wall of the building, allowing you a glimpse of the chaos inside. A plethora of various blaster bolts ricochet through the building, evidence that the situation was drastically more complicated than you initially observed. However, the next events prove that things could still get worse for the group inside.

From the safety of your hiding spot, you see the scene unfold. The entire courtyard of the village is filled with stormtroopers in seconds, and then you hear it. The unmistakable screech that has haunted you since you were young. A sound that would forever be branded into your head, as it signaled the end of your childhood. The last time you heard that sound was the last time you saw your father and brother.

The Tie Fighter lands right in front of the cantina, completely blocking your view of any further events. You take that as your sign to get the hell out of there, knowing the level of destruction that is sure to follow. Even with the high amount of adrenaline pumping through your veins, you manage to keep a level head and find your way back to the marketplace, where most other citizens are gathered.

You quickly alert everyone to the impending danger nearby, and although some are slow to react, they begin to gather their belongings and search for safety.

Luckily, you recall a nearby alley that would lead to the part of town furthest away from the calamity, and you tell them all to make their way there immediately. Once you were sure that no one was left behind you head towards the alley only for an explosion to go off somewhere near the cantina. And although the source of the blast is far enough away not to injure you, the shockwave ripples through a one of the buildings, whose integrity was already questionable, causing it to crumble and block your previously secure exit route. With your mind in panic mode, you glance over to a spot which had caught your eye a hundred times before, a spot you kept noticing the Mandalorian disappear to.

You quickly run for cover hoping no other buildings decide to fall apart in the meantime, and you find the passageway was actually concealing a staircase which led to the sewers. Unsure of where to go next, your adrenaline high mind keeps you moving fast, taking random turns, having no understanding of where the tunnels lead to and where the safest exit may be. It wasn't until you rapidly took a corner and ran straight into an armoured chest plate that your mind stopped running wild.

A few second too late you realize it wasn’t the armour you would have hoped to see. The Mandalorians captor stands in front of you, with a package wrapped in her arms. Beside her is the Guild leader. You stand there dumbstruck and panting, unsure of what move to make.

The Guild leader approaches you, but you recoil, stepping back.

“What did you do to him?” is all you can think to growl at them.

“He’s just sleeping.” She attempts to assure you, “Wait how do you know the kid?” the woman asks, evidently confused by your accusation.

“What kid? No, the Mandalorian. You captured him. I saw you two walk in to town with him handcuffed”

“Young lady, I think you are confused. Please allow me to explain our situation.” the leader states, taking another step closer to you. This time you stand your ground, making clear you want answers.

He explains his name is Greef Karga, and the woman is Cara Dune, an ex-rebel shock trooper. And despite walking into town with Mando handcuffed by their sides, they were actually all in on the plan together. However, it seems that once they got inside things went south, a habit Mando seemed to be making for himself. It turns out that this elaborate scheme was set in place in an attempt to save a tiny green baby from the Empire, which now rests in the woman’s – Cara’s – arms.

You have no idea what to think. There's no way any of this can be true. Although, you then recall the conversation you overheard as they entered the town, and everything else seems to line up with your own experiences of the past hour.

You also realize that the Child must be the reason Mando went rogue in the first place. And after sneaking a peak at his resting wrinkly face, you completely understand why. After only one look, you’d probably jump in front of speeder for that little guy.

But before you can make up your mind on whether to believe Karga or not, Mando rounds the corner being supported by a very tall, very thin droid that you recognize to be an IG unit. As they approach, Cara hands off the baby to the droid and attempts to support Mando, and for some maker-forsaken reason you decide to help too. As you slide your arm under Mando’s shoulder and rest your hand on his back you feel him tense – you know you’ve made a mistake. But it’s too late to turn back now, so you carry some of his weight and continue on down the ominous path. The only way out, is through.

Your mind is running at 100 parsecs per hour. This is the closest, physically, you’ve been to anyone in years, and if that weren't enough you seem to be in the middle of both your wildest dream and worst nightmare. You can’t remember the last time you were tucked under someone's arm, and pressed up against them so tightly, if you ever were. And in your panicked state you start to realize you’ve basically been holding your breath this whole time, making your heart beat erratically and your head throb. But just as you think you might pass out from your stupidity, the Mandalorians voice shakes you back to reality.

“Stop.” His word sends you into a new panic. Were you thinking out loud? Could he read your heartbeat through his helmet? Did he know what a complete mess you were at his touch? “I can stand,” he says, finishing his thought.

Oh thank the gods.

He lets go of you and switches something in his helmet to look for tracks, and you allow yourself to finally take a deep breath.

“We’re close,” he states. After a moment of stabilizing your heartbeat and focussing on your breath900, you quicken your pace, subtly placing yourself just behind Mando’s left shoulder as he leads the group through the tunnel. You’re close enough to catch when he mumbles, “I know you.”

“And I know you,” you respond playfully, disregarding the severity of the situation you’ve found yourself in. You’re not quite sure how Mando’s mere presence can affect you so brutally, to the point of forgetting how to act like a normal human being.

“From the market.” He doesn’t ask.

“That’s me, good to see you in one piece. I was worried when I heard about the stunt you pulled. Crossing the guild...not sure I've ever heard of anyone getting away with that.” Oh man why are you talking so much. You just need to shut up now. Literally no one wants to hear-

“Worried?” a hint of genuine curiosity hidden in his question. Well of course he found the one word in your entire sentence that incriminates you. There’s no way he doesn’t know about your crush now.

“Umm well of course, I think everyone was. It’s all anyone could talk about for weeks. Nothing that exciting has happened around here in a while,” you quickly blurt out. He turns his head for a moment and examines you.

He is silent, evidently noticing the way you awkwardly avoided his question. You stare at him trying with every muscle in your face to remain composed. You know he sees right through you – must be that bullshit reader – but you think if you maintain eye contact long enough, he’ll just move on from your stupidity. And he does.

“How did you get here?” He returns to his task of following footprints. The question and abrupt change in topic jars you, although if you had to guess, you think he must have picked up on your complete awkwardness, possibly confusing it for suspicious behaviour. You hope he doesn’t think you untrustworthy because if it.

“There were explosions, and I tried to help everyone out, but the path became blocked and the only way out was some curtain hiding a staircase.” Your explanation, you realize, now sounds completely ridiculous, especially in the flustered manner you are depicting it in. Even so, you continue, “I went to hide but it turns out it led straight down here. So, I tried to find an exit, but I bumped into them instead,” you finish, glancing behind you towards Cara and Karga.

“If you came in from the market you should have passed the covert,” Mando stated almost accusingly, increasing your worry over whether he thought trusted your story.

“I’m not sure I didn’t really see any-” but his question is immediately answered by the pile of discarded Mandalorian armour in front of you.

The Mandalorian stops, and you can see just how suddenly his body language changed. Even injured, he looked deadly as he led you through the tunnels, but at the sight of the remnants of his clan, he is weak. You can feel the sadness, remorse, and pain emanating from him all at once. And as you stand beside him you barely realize you’ve gently reached for his hand, gripping it tight and squeezing it to convey your condolence for his immense loss.

But after a moment, he moved forward and away from your grasp to kneel at the sight of his fallen brethren. Cara suggests the group leave, but he won’t. He will not leave the armour in its discarded state.

Suddenly, the mood shifts, and you see the Mandalorian transform before your eyes. He storms towards Karga, accusing that he and the Guild members must be responsible. Karga denies, but you think Mando might be on the verge of strangling him when suddenly another modulated voice fills the tunnel.

A golden warrior stands before you. Her presence shocks you. It reveals some element rooted deep, a feeling you can only describe as warm… or familiar? She explains, as she gathers the scattered armour, how revealing the covert brought the presence of Imperials. When Mando offers her to join him, she rejects, maintaining that her place is to gather the remains of her people.

You all follow her into a small room with a forge in the centre of it. “Show me the one who’s safety deemed such destruction,” she demands.

“This is the one,” Mando responds. Gesturing to the baby that was wrapped tight to the IG unit’s chest.

“This is the one that you hunted, then saved?” she asks.

“Yes. The one that saved me as well.” And with that statement you find both an answer, and more questions. That baby saved him? How the-

“From the mudhorn?” she asks.

“Yes.” he responds, making you even more confused than ever. The baby saved him from a mudhorn?

“It looks helpless” she states.

“It’s injured, but it is not helpless. Its species can move objects with its mind.” As if this conversation could get any weirder. Move objects...with its MIND.

The Armourer begins to detail battles between Mandalore the Great and some species of wizards; the species this child belongs to. She also tells Mando that he is now responsible for the baby – his foundling. And finally, she tasks him with finding these sorcerers and returning the baby to them. When Mando questions the outrageous turn of events the woman has only four words in response:

“This is the Way.” Suddenly that warm comfort you felt before resurges, but only for a moment, as Cara reminds the group of the urgency of their situation. You need to find a way out before Imperials catch your tracks. The Armourer then suggests the group find a river of lava that will lead all of you out of the tunnels. Right…

River of lava, or Imperial Troopers. What the heck did you get yourself into? Either way it seems you don’t have much of a choice. After receiving a mudhorn signet on his pauldron, the Armourer pronounces that he and the child are bound as father and son; a clan of two. Cute little family they’ll make. When the droid gets ready to defend the group from incoming Imps, it hands Cara the child who looks very uncomfortable with it, so she passes him to you.

Stunned and confused you look to the Mandalorian who shows no sign of discomfort with you holding his now adopted son, not that you’d probably be able to tell. Either way, it seems you’ve acquired a new responsibility.

Blaster fire rings just outside the room as the woman hands Mando some flying contraption, and your group decides you might need to get a move on.

You approach the lava river, only to notice the boat has melted to the docking point. Karga and Mando struggle to free it, but Cara just gives you a smug look. “You boys mind getting out of the way?” she warns only to blast the points where the boat was attached, successfully freeing it from its molten chains.

The boat quickly begins to drift from the dock, but just as you start to lift your foot over the edge to make your way inside, you feel a strong hand against your lower back, guiding you the rest of the way. Once you steady yourself on the boat you glance up at the visor which is pinned straight ahead, unwavering and unwilling to meet your gaze. His seemingly disinterested reaction makes you anxious to know the true intention of his touch. He must just realize your safety is attached to the bundle you are currently cradling against your chest. Obviously, he is only looking out for the child, you just happen to be the person responsible for his transportation. If Cara were the one holding his son, he’d probably be helping her instead. Right? Simple as that.

Even so, you can't help but notice the way his hand flexes after it returns to his side.

For just a moment your mind slips, and you let yourself think that there might be something there. That the short conversations and fleeting looks shared all those weeks ago might have held more weight than you believed. That when you were admiring his head-to-toe armor upgrade, he may have been examining you back. That he might have actually liked the fact that you worried about him in his absence. You allow yourself to think that underneath that metal, stands a man who might be gentle, and kind. A man who helps you into a boat when he himself is injured. One who is willing to leave behind everything he knows in order to ensure the security of a child.

You snap back to reality, however, when Karga notices the light at the end of the tunnel. But just when you think that your journey is almost over, Mando informs you otherwise. A battalion of stormtroopers line the edges of your only exit route. No one in your group can come up with any satisfactory solution, until the IG unit comes forward.

“They will not be satisfied with anything less than the child. This is unacceptable. I will eliminate them, and you will escape.”

Mando is quick to point out that the droid would never make it past the troopers, but the droid insists. Apparently, his manufacturer's protocol dictates that he cannot be captured and must self-destruct. He asks that Mando look over the Child once he is gone, and you swear you can hear a hint of sadness through his filtered voice. Your hypothesis is confirmed by the IG unit, and your heart warms slightly for the metal man. The droid reaches over to say goodbye to the child for the last time, patting him gently on the head, then steps into the lava river and heads down towards the mouth of the cave. You all stare silently as you watch him approach the troopers when suddenly-

Fire consumes your vision, and it overwhelms your senses. Not having actually seen an explosion in your life you seem to be the only one on the boat who is at all fazed by the sudden wall of heat and deafening boom created by IG-11’s sacrifice. In the process you cover the child with your body and wince back into the hard wall behind you. Cradling the child and shielding yourself, you almost don’t notice when the wall grabs your hip and steadies you in front of it.

Suddenly, you’re flushed with embarrassment, realizing all at once the wall was the Mandalorian and both of his hands were still gripped onto you, holding you tight against his chest plate.

But your shock only lasts a moment before the unsettling screech of a Tie Fighter pierced your ears for the second time that day. And before you could process, the Mandalorian was using his body as a shield, protecting you and the child from the blasts, and simultaneously shooting at the new threat barreling towards your group.

Will this day ever end, is the only thought in your head before Mando is flying through the air using the jetpack given to him by the Armourer only minutes ago. However, you distinctly remember her saying he would need time to get used to it before it would ‘listen to his commands’. Nevertheless, he jerks through the sky in a desperate attempt to bring the Tie down.

You watch as one of the wings are ripped off by an explosion and the tie crashes to the ground. The Mandalorian lets go just in time and falls quickly towards the ground, igniting his jetpack at the last second to make a rough landing right in front of you.

The child squirms in your arms at the first sign of peace so you set him down gently. He awkwardly runs over to Mando and hugs his leg, creating possibly the cutest sight you had ever seen. Again, your heart can’t help but melt for the new little family, and you wonder how these two are going to get by. A child with magical powers, and a father who’s built to kill. Not a pairing you would bet on.

Cara and Karga then try to convince Mando to stay on Nevarro and help the both of them sort out the aftermath of today's events. But the Mandalorian insists on sticking to his mission. The child is now his first priority and finding a group of near-extinct ancient sorcerers does not sound like easy work.

“We have a long road ahead of us, but the journey is necessary. I must return him to his kind, no matter how long it takes.” You hear him reason with the pair, refusing their kind offers to remain on the planet with them.

If you know one thing about the Mandalorian it's that everything he does is completely intentional. No one could force Mando into something he doesn’t want to do. If he is sure of this path, he will follow it through till the end.

And from your short interactions, you know he spends time forming his thoughts in order to get his point across. Each sentence is carefully crafted so that they are clear and concise. You know he means every word.

Maybe that's why the next words out of his mouth come as a complete shock to you.

“Would you like to join us?” he asks directly to you.

What the kriffing heck did he just say? You're so taken aback that you embarrassingly bark out your response, your brain evidently getting no time to process the question, so instead if vomits out the first word it can think of: “No”.

You follow it with polite ‘thank you’s’, hoping to erase the awkward tension in the air, and the Mandalorian jetpacks off with the child leaving you to dwell on your utter stupidity.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 2

Notes: Honestly, I hate this chapter too wow. I really spent so long trying to edit this into something I could bare to publish, but I still really hate it. I did not want to write a chapter like this, but I also needed a way to put the reader into the story and the only way I could think to do that was by using an existing episode. So here we are. But I SWEAR, after this it gets good. Like not only does the story get good, but so does my own writing (relatively) so if you just bare through this, I think you’ll enjoy the rest.

Taglist: @peppywitch @tobealostwanderer @thecraftyartist

If you wanna be included in the tag list let me know! The next parts are gonna get great. I hope

[gem-rewatch]

SU rewatch- S1E11- Arcade Mania

Hey, long time no see!

I’m desperately bored in solitary quarantine at university right now, and decided to try and pick this SU rewatch series up again for fun. It’s been a while since I’ve watched through the show in order. Plus, now that this show is completely finished, there’s plenty more connections to make. I can’t promise I’ll be consistent with this, but at the very least I can have fun trying to make a few more posts at my leisure.

Anyways. With that business out of the way. Let’s get right on to the show!

We begin with yet another mission Steven’s guardians have brought him along on! I believe this is the fifth mission we know of that he’s accompanied them on so far. (Lunar Sea Spire, Inverted Pyramid, the unknown mission he returns from in Tiger Millionaire, the desert, and now this one.) It’s really sweet seeing the Gems begin to trust him tagging along more often. There will come a day in the near future where missions become routine for Steven, but in these early episodes, you can really tell that each and every one is a brand new adventure.

In terms of plot, though, this episode is honestly Future Vision: The Prequel.

We learn a lot about Garnet’s abilities and her role in the team here, even if all of these details aren’t spelled out word-for-word quite yet. Hints towards her future vision we see this ep include:

Garnet moving ahead of the group to be in the perfect spot to catch Steven when he falls.

Her flawless moves while fighting and dodging the monsters.

Her becoming a master at the rhythm game later in the episode.

Like, damn. Look at this.

Look at her go.

My Q U E E N!

I had to gif all of this just because it’s such a beautiful and smooth sequence of animation.

If there’s one thing all of the Crystal Gems can 100% agree on, it’s that Garnet is friggin’ amazing.

Garnet: “Let them go. They’re just parasites. If they want to be a problem, they’ll have to answer to me.”

So, does this statement mean that- at this present moment- her extended stay at the arcade was entirely beyond her future vision? That the only futures she saw were ones where she was actually present to deal with containment of the Gem parasites? Given that later scenes insinuate she’d never been to the arcade before, and would have no “data” about its games to factor into her internal understanding of the world, this seems likely.

I adore the gradual palette change here, from shadow, to setting sun. It’s a nice detail that adds so much more life to what could otherwise be a rather mundane transition scene. It seems like unique palettes were more common in early SU- I wonder why Crewniverse stopped implementing these as often later on?

Pearl, entering the arcade: “Humans find such fascinating ways to waste their time.”

Thanks, Pearl. Love you too. <3

This sequence of Pearl failing at playing a car chase/road rage game hits so much different knowing what happens in Last One Out of Beach City. It’s genuinely radical how far she grows in confidence from this point, because here, she seems so shackled to rules and guidelines. Now that we know about her rebellious past, it might be tempting to write this characterization off as “early series weirdness,” but... I don’t think that’s what’s happening here.

Instead, I wonder if she’s working through grief-related regression.

Think about it... the pain of Rose’s passing is still so fresh for her. She was a rule breaking rebel once, yes, but she spent all of those days at Rose’s side. And I get the sense that she’s poured so much of herself into keeping Rose safe, into the rebellion against Homeworld, that without those, she’s caught in a vacuum. What IS her purpose now, when the very person she rebelled for is gone?

So she slips back into old pearl-like habits. Chronic rule following, and a fear of deviating from norms. How familiar. Thankfully, much of her arc throughout the show is her directly growing beyond these habits to live boldly as her own Gem.

The friggin video game when Garnet knocks its head off: “TELL MY WIFE I’M SORRYYY!!!”

Yo, what the fuck. This line is both hilarious and messed up, all at once. Please tell me the game isn’t sentient.

Aaaand here we finally introduce Garnet to the video game sensation that is Meat Beat Mania! This game is perfectly suited to her and her power of foresight because its patterns are algorithmic and not vulnerable to spontaneous deviations, and thus easy to predict, with enough input. She’s probably getting a quick rush of satisfaction with every correct move, and she barely has to exert any energy with her future vision to get that rush. After years and years of wading through endless possibility at every avenue, this video game’s patterns must be a rejuvenating breath of fresh air.

It’s addicting.

...Kinda makes me think of how I get sometimes when I play solitaire on my phone for an hour straight. After a while, I barely even think, I’m just shuffling through my deck and moving cards almost on automatic. I don’t have to use much energy to play, and it gives me animated fireworks every time I finish a match. It’s a win-win.

Amethyst: “I’MMA WIN AN AIRPLANE!”

I don’t know what it is about the way Michaela Dietz says the world “airplane,” but this makes me laugh every time. Does... does she think she can win a genuine airplane here because she saw Onion win a tiny motorbike from the ticket booth?? Amethyst, oh my god. XD

She’s got the spirit, this wild child.

So, moving on- we meet up with our crew later the next morning, Garnet nowhere to be seen. There’s an interesting exchange I’d like to highlight real quick-

Pearl: “If we’re supposed to fight a giant foot, Garnet would let us know.” Amethyst: “Yeah, Garnet’s the boss!” Pearl: “Well, we’re all a team. Garnet just has heightened perception that guides us towards our mission objectives.”

Considering the specific phrasing Pearl uses here- “heightened perception” instead of “future vision-” did Garnet outright tell the two of them to not explain her powers, just like she told them not to mention she’s a fusion? Because I’m pretty sure no one ever uses the phrase “heightened perception” again in reference to her powers.

Given the fact that Garnet chose to keep the knowledge of Ruby and Sapphire under the table until she felt Steven could understand her better, my guess is that this is a similar scenario.

Ahah, I genuinely can’t tell if this is Steven being gullible, or just impulsively playing along with Amethyst’s antics. Still- gross, kid. Don’t wipe your wet cereal face on your shirt! Ew! :O

When he goes outside and starts to use a kiddy metal detector to scan for quarters... so THAT’S where he finds his arcade money! Because I can’t imagine Greg is financially able to give him that much to spend on non-essentials at this point in the show.

Okay, so... I just want to bring light to the fact that Garnet has literally been in this arcade ALL NIGHT LONG.

It was evening when she first arrived here- the sun was visibly setting in the background, and when Steven, Amethyst, and Pearl left, the sky was dark. But now it’s morning. Steven was just seen eating breakfast. And Garnet is STILL HERE.

Does this mean Mr. Smiley locked her IN? I have so many questions... Did he try to get her to leave, only to be intimidated by her complete lack of response? I would kill to know more about this interaction. Poor Mr. Smiley. That man deals with so much bullshit in this town, huh?

Geebus, is Garnet a solid wall. Previous episodes have shown Steven forcibly shoving whole tons of food, and swinging a mini-freezer over his head, and yet he can’t get her to budge even an inch.

I absolutely adore how he climbs up her frame like a koala, though, ahah. Cute.

Meat Beat Mania announcer: “That’s rare!!” Steven: “Oh my gosh...!”

I take these two lines as evidence that this is the first time Steven’s ever seen Garnet’s eyes. Specifically, the fact that there’s three of them. Which, makes sense- since Garnet is still really reserved emotionally at this point, and is only begins to get in the habit of taking her visor off to show Steven her full face later on in the show.

This expression deeply hurts me.

Steven’s so distraught here- because the others are in danger, the town is in danger, and he doesn’t have his trusty, dependable guardian who catches him when he falls and beats up scary monsters for him. Without her, the whole team is vulnerable and blind.

He feels alone. He feels... powerless.

And so he responds to that confusing, powerless feeling by trying to compensate with his own power. When all other routes he can think of fail, he smashes the video game console.

It... uh, it works... but once again, Steven entirely fails to consider the consequences, huh? He experienced a little bit of character growth in this regard in the episode Serious Steven, but even past that it’ll remain an recurring issue for him. Hell, his impulsiveness is a general character flaw even stretching into SUF.

In summary, though:

Poor Mr. Smiley. He works so hard, and doesn’t deserve this BS. ;-;

[whatdoesshedotothem]

: Monday 23 April 1838

7 50

2 ½

A-‘s cousin came tonight soft spring morning damp and small rain and F40 ½° at 8 50 – breakfast at 9 10 in about ½ hour – had the gardener – sending to Huddersfield for asparagus – Longish talk about making the garden pay – which it seems it will not do for 8 or 9 years! there being nothing now but annual crops to depend upon – had Charnock about wood to mend the corves with – and Holt came at the same time and Mr. Jubb to see A-‘s face and Mary the little waiting maid footman – a few minutes with Mr. J- he will come again on Thursday morning – did not tell him of our intended journey – then had Holt from about 10 or after to 12 – nothing more can be done at L.P. or the coalhead driving till the engine is going – the jobs now to be gone on with are walling and arching Listerwick Low mine and driving Airgate mine – this latter agreed for before –

L. Lowmine taken by Joseph Mann in the state it is (that is much fallen up) that is to be cleared and walled and arched 3ft. high and 2ft. wide complete as to labour for 3/. per running yard  whole length 180 yards – probably ½ will have to be walled and arched) Holt says it will not take many stones –

Listerwick pit is to be 30/. per yard from the bottom of the tubbing

talked over the Incline and working Walker pit separately – H- says the Incline would be, when finished, a great expense and trouble keeping up – money enough has been laid out – he would would lay out no more – WP. would be set up for £100 and would make           (would net I of course concluded him to mean) £500 a year – would let this to one person to manage, and LP. to another – and have one bottom steward for both – John Bottomely would be glad to take the ginning – H- would get at this pit ½ the coal of the upper land between WP. and LP.  which leaving 50 or 60 yards of barrier to the west might = about 20 acres or not quite so much – we calculated that all the necessary straight work might be done in a year from the time of the Engine being set to work – the endless chain given up and Garforths’ plan adopted – H- never heard anything against Garforths’ honesty – and he is clever – but he will have his routs – the agreement to be signed this day week here – Incline – persuaded to give it up – and drive the heads from L.P. to WP.

Distance about 36 chains = 792 yards say 800 yards one man will drive 40 yards in a year and working shifts (night and day) the whole length will be driven in one year –

Straight work. two gates from LP. to WP. main gate to be racked as under 4ft. high and 4ft. wide =    800 yards

airgate 3ft. high and 3ft. wide to be racked 18in. or 2 ft. on each side so as to be able to lay the scale alongside = 800

H- thinks taking the two gates together they will be done at 3/6 per running yard + ‘the task of coal’ i.e. coal getting at 4/6 per score   1600 yards at 3/6 = £280

800 yards 8ft. wide = 2133 2/3 yards 3ft. wide

800 yards 7ft. wide = 1866 1/3 yards 3ft- wide = 400 yards 3ft. wide

or let width and racking together be eight feet wide in both gates .:. 1800 yards 8ft. wide = 4267 1/3 yards 3ft. wide

Say 4000 yards square of coal-bed, averaging 5 loads per yard = 20000 loads ÷20 = 1000 scores at 5/. = £250 for ‘task of coal’

£280 for driving at 3/6 per running yard on 1600 yards

530 = total expense of driving, and task of coal towards which I have 1000 scores of coal which getting paid for should = 10/. per score – banking at 1/. per score = 9/. per score out of which I have the engine to keep going during the year –

Fire man at 18/. per week = £46.16.0

coal say 50 loads per week at 9d.= 37/6 per week or per annnum    97.10.0

or take it as under.

Driving 1600 yards at 3/6 = (in one year) 280.0.0

task of coal 1000 scores at 5/.  250.0.0

banking 1000 scores at 1/.  50.0.0

Pulling by Engine maintaining one year dire man at 18/. per week = 46.16.0

coal 50 loads per week at 9d. = 97.10.0

144.6.0

724.6.0  - 1000 scores of coal at 15/. per score = £750

But during the year the main gate from LP. down to the low water heads about 100 yards breadth on the dip side of LP. may be driven – and the 2 water heads (common gates) may be driven at 1/6 to 1/8 per yard – Suppose these 2 low water heads to be each 14 chains = 308 yards long (leaving a barrier of 10 or 12 yards broad between Dove house land and upper brea land and mine) then there will be say

100 yards main gate and 100 yards Airgate as above = 200 yards at the above expense ÷ 8 except the engine .:. 200 yards at 580.0.0/8 = 72.10.0          – 100 scores ÷8 = 125 scores at 15/. = £93.15.0

156 ditto at 15/. = £117.0.0

210.15.0

say 620 yards low water heads at 1/8 = 51.13.4

task of coal 4ft. wide per yard = 626 yards at 5 loads = 156 scores at 5/.

39.0.0

90.13.4

163.3.4

£73.5.8 will not buy rails 156

expense 724.6.0

163.3.4 = 887.9.4

profit 750.0.0

210.15.0 = 960.15.0

£73.5.8

SH:7/ML/E/21/0083

if the calculations on the last p. are tolerably correct, the coal will about pay the expense of the main gates and low water heads – for I dare not count upon the £73.5.8 profit – and if I get it, it will not pay for the rails – I may as well reckon that I have still the rails to furnish and these + the outlay on engine + what has been already laid out will = £6000+ more or less considerably –enough – away with all thought of the Incline – enough has been and will have been laid out – three thousand more for Incline would never do – An end of it – Holt says WP. will make £500 a year – let it – I have consented to try it – John Bottomley will be glad to take the ginning, and I should let the banking and management of this pit to one person, and ditto ditto of Listerwick pit to another – JO. for instance with one bottom steward for both pits – e.g. Joseph Mann – and let Robert WP. – I mentioned carting the LP. coal myself – H- much approved this plan, as also my having a counting house to receive orders at the bottom of the sheep croft – such a one and such a person as the Lowmoor office and Walton – my person to keep the accounts and Holt to check them once a month – Walton received the money from those who want coal, and then gives each a ticket for the amount in coal at the pit –

H- says the coal at Listerwick pit will be pulled at 1/. per score we shall on being established get 200 loads or 10 scores a day = 10/. towards the engine shall get a fireman (after the year of warranty by Garforth) at 15/. per week = per annum   39.0.0

coal (vid. last p.) 97.10.                     if we only get 10 scores a day = 10/. for 300 days during the year or £150

10 pc on outlay of £700 70.0.0

wear and tear 23.10.0 – 150 = £80 or a dead weight that sum per annum on the colliery or that sum paid for pumping the water

H- would have all one-horse carts – 1 horse will 10 loads at a time 4 times a day from L.P. to H- or 40 loads say at 2d. = 6(8 a day or 40/. per week

one man at 15/. per week and one lad (at 8/.?) will be enough for four carts –

the coal to be sold at the pit at 9d. per load – should be sold in H-x at 1/. .:. the more I cart myself the better – the quality of L.P. better than Lightcliffe that much will go Hipperholme way – surely there ought to be more than 200 loads a day sold – 5 horses would cart the whole of this – Building cottages in H-x at £60 a piece.

H- would build at the platform –decent ones at £60 would let for £5  a piece – water would be got in 25 yards at 10/. a yard sinking –

to give Thomas G. notice that I shall want the bottom end of the sheep croft – the courting house to be ready in 1 year from the time of the engine working – all settled with Wilson on Thursday last – Mr. Holmes pays down £1,000 for ½ of engine and all privileges and they now share the colliery equally except that whoever has actually more coal takes after the rate of £100 per acre on the over plus – Stocks ‘melancholy’ – has only low bed loose that will last him about 3 years – and then must set up an engine and lift his water 50 yards – now all is to go right – Messrs. Holt, Holmes, and self! are to be all agreeable and reasonable – Eh bien! nous verrons –

A- rode off to Hagstocks  to see after Richard Woodhead altering the railing at the top of Holcans wood and got back about 1pm her feet much wet – her cloak had saved her habit – luncheon – rode off to Cliff Hill about 2pm she had sat with me perhaps 10 minutes or ¼ hour on the whole – I sat (with no other than this interruption) from 12 to 3 1/2 calculating and writing the whole of the above of today – then had Joseph Mann for near an 2 hours till 5 ½ - talking all over – he proposes driving the main gates from Airgate pit instead of L.P. which will same about 100 yards driving – and thinks air may be carried in pipes and that one gate 4ft. x ft. will suffice – the low water heads will cost very little – the water gate facing against the dip coal may be driven 4 yards wide so that plenty of coal will come out and help to pay for all the rest – Joseph apparently now not against working WP. – have not been out today – ran out at 5 40 – A- just returned and gone into her room – with her a minute or 2 – then out in the farmyard and about – George Naylor here –one of the sawyers ill .:. not here – Stephen Scholefield blacksmith here and his son (little boy) all day, mending harrows etc. Robert Mann came this morning but soon went home again – poorly – his men went home at 11 am too wet to be able to wheel on the planks at the meer – came in about 6 ½ - some time with A- then settled with George Thomas – paid him up to Saturday 5 May next (5 weeks + 2 days deducting 2 days for the 3 including Sunday he was absent on his marriage)  - he was away a day longer than he said he would so deducted 2 days – dressed – dinner at 7 10 – coffee – from 9 20 to 1 10 in the wine cellar putting (laying) in sawdust the 4 dozen sherry last from York – and 11 bottles currant wine made by Cordingley in the same compartment with A-‘s 15 Elder 16 Raisin quarts + 11 ditto pints, and below close to the door left on entering 22 red currant 15 ditto ditto and 13 orange and on the opposite side 5 cider – Damp, growing, spring, wet day – F40°à at 1 10 tonight – Cookson went home about 11 this morning –

[souichioneshots]

Adult!Souichi x Reader 【2 day fic; Day 2】 NSFW!!

Lol here's part 2

Ya'll said you like detail

well, here's a lot of detail

this is super ooc for sure, but whatever there's like barely any adult!souichi porn so take this shit and leave me alone

byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

【MUST-READ DAY 1 + Binzo FIC To UNDERSTAND WHAT IS HAPPENING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!】

Souichi loudly sighed as he placed the hairdryer back on the counter. He was exhausted. What had started out as a good day turned to shit in a matter of minutes.

Closing his eyes, he recalled the events that had unfolded before him that afternoon.

After checking out of the hotel, you two still had another four hours to kill until the kimonos were ready for pickup. Although there wasn’t a lot to do in the little town you were in, there was a large home center that he had planned on going to soon. He needed to get some things for the haunt and some everyday items for his family. You claimed you’d never been to a home center before, so it should be fun.

At least, that’s what he initially thought.

He had left you alone for 1 minute to go get a cart. Seeing how heavily invested you were in reading the comic book he told you he liked as a kid, he figured that you wouldn’t notice. But he was dead wrong.

As he put the items he was holding into an empty cart, the lights of the store started to flicker. He heard people screaming and things being knocked over.

Leaving the cart, he rushed to where he had left you. But you weren’t there. Instead, your mask along with several broken mannequins took your place. There were drops of blood everywhere. You had been scratching yourself again. A nasty habit you had whenever you got anxious. Following the trail of blood and broken items, he finally found you. You were in the pet-item section of the store.

His eyes widened in shock as he saw you, floating ever so slightly off the floor. A group of Japanese horned beetles circled your floating body as you swayed back and forth, like a body that had been hung by its neck. All the other animals in the area, the rabbits, the birds, even the fish all laid dead on the floor surrounding you.

He was about to call out your name and try to calm you down, but then he saw your eyes.

They had gone completely black.

Blood dripped from your nose and to your lips as you smiled at him. A shiver traveled down his spine as you met his eyes.

¡¡¡∀ﻼ∀ﻼ∀ﻼ∀ﻼ∀ﻼ ¡¡ɘɿoʜʍ 'υoγ uɒc 'ɿɘʍob γɯ ʇυoʜʇᴉʍ ϱuᴉɘp quɒʇƨ ʇ,uɒC ¡γʇɿɘboɿb ɿᴉɘʜʇ ɘʌɘᴉɿʇɘɿ oʇ kcɒp ɘɯɒc γllɒuᴉt oʜʍ koo⅃ ˙llɘM llɘM llɘM

Souichi couldn’t understand a single word you were saying. His heart raced as he remembered what the man who sold you had said. If you were ever displeased, you could take the power of others away, and in extreme cases, their life force. From the looks of you and the dead animals around you, this seemed like an extreme case.

The lights above you flickered rapidly as you placed your feet on the ground and walked towards him.

He needed to do something fast. You were drawing too much attention to yourself. Drawing too much attention to him! He needed to run. If he ran fast enough, he might be able to reach his family and disappear just before you could get him.

Just as he was about to turn around and leave, tears started to run down your cheeks, making him stop. You put your hands out to reach for Souichi, but he backed away, afraid you were trying to trick him.

“I,ɯ ƨoɿɿγ˙˙˙ Ⴇou,ʇ˙˙˙⅃ɘɒʌɘ ɯɘ˙˙˙ I,ɯ˙˙˙Sorry…Please…” The whites in your eyes returned as tears endlessly streamed down your face.

The people who had been watching from afar made a commotion as you suddenly collapsed onto the ground. Blood seeped from your arms, legs, and nose as your eyes finally shut.

It took all the power Souichi could muster to make everyone in the store forget what had happened. He was able to pin everything on a couple of teenage pranksters, but he prayed that no one would ever look at the security footage from that day.

Seeing that it would not be the best idea to travel with the bloody body of an unconscious girl thrown over his shoulder. He rushed to the nearest hotel. Using his power to make you undetectable by the people around him, he brought you into the room you two were in now and allowed you to rest. However, you had awoken while he was showering.

You nearly scared him to death when you entered the shower fully clothed.

Your face was emotionless, eyes slightly puffy from crying too much, and dried blood was smeared all over your body. Seeing how your legs trembled from exhaustion he offered to help you wash up, something his older sister would usually do for you, but you refused, asking him to leave. Quickly finishing up, he left you alone.

He didn’t know how long it would be until you finished. But either way, he wasn’t exactly looking forward to it.

Walking over to the mini-fridge in the room, he took out a can of lemon-flavored Strong Zero and chugged it all down in one go. He held the still cold can up to his head as he tried to relax his mind.

He really didn’t think things through very well when he got you. He should have heeded that man’s warning. All of this just to get more powerful? There were dozens of other ways he could get the power he wanted. Ritual sacrifices, joining covens, deals with demons. But he just had to choose the ‘easy’ route.

If he didn’t do something soon, he might end up powerless or dead like your old masters.

Souichi let out a sound of surprise as he turned around to see that you had been standing behind him the entire time. Small puddles of water formed around you as water droplets dripped from your hair.

“Y-You’re done? Do you need help drying your hair?” He nervously asked.

He really hoped you couldn’t read minds. God knows he can’t take on anyone as powerful as you, especially after all he did today.

Keeping your eyes to the ground, you spoke in a small voice.

“Where did you go?...”

“Hmm? You told me to get out?” Souichi tilted his head to the side in confusion.

“No!” You gripped the hem of your pajama-yukata, trying to hold back your emotions. You sounded like you were on the verge of crying again.

“You left me alone…at the home center…You tricked me…” Your body trembled as you took deep-uneven breaths. “Why did you leave me…Did I do something wrong… I’m sorry if I did something to upset you… I just… Please… Tell me…”

Souichi’s eyes widened at your words. He couldn’t believe what you were saying.

The scene you made at the home center was all because of him. All because you thought he left you. Dumped you to fend for yourself in an environment you were completely unfamiliar with. He knew he could never truly understand how you felt, but he assumed that it must have felt worse than the time his grandmother left him alone with a family who doesn’t understand him or his abilities.

He felt horrible for actually thinking about leaving you back there.

“Y/N… I wasn’t trying to abandon you. I just went to get a cart to put the stuff in. I’m sorry…” You looked up at him with teary eyes as he explained what had truly happened.

Stepping forward, you wrapped your arms around his slim body.

“Promise you’ll never leave me again…” The sound of your voice was muffled a bit by his clothes.

“I Promise.” He put his pinkie out for you to wrap your own around.

Moving back a bit, you both looked at each other and chanting in unison.

「指きりげんまん　嘘ついたら針千本飲ます　指きった！」

As you let go of each other’s pinkies, a devilish smile grew across your face.

“You’re suddenly in a good mood.” He said, a little surprised by your sudden change in attitude.

“Fufufu. Of course, I am. After all, a promise between two witches is sacred.” Rushing to stand on top of the bed, you pointed and laughed at him. “Don’t blame me if you end up drinking a water bottle full of needles one day ~! Kakakaka!”

Souichi couldn’t help but laugh at how similar you sounded to him when he was younger. Even your laugh, although it suited you well, was forcefully done just so you could sound creepier. You were like a little clone of him.

As you stood taller than him, Souichi was now able to clearly see the scratch marks that traveled from your knees up into your yukata. They looked painful. Your arms weren’t looking so good either.

Going to a bag filled with supplies, he called for you to sit down. “We should heal those wounds before we go back home.”

Sitting down on the edge of the bed, you waited for the man to start the healing process. He was the only person you had ever met that was able to successfully do this.

“Where did you get this?” You asked as you examined the green bottle of gooey liquid labeled ‘100% Aloe Vera’.

“I went to the superstore while you were asleep.” Souichi replied as he kneeled in front of you and took your arm into his hands.

“Hmm…” Suddenly you gasped loudly, making Souichi jump a bit. “The kimonos!”

“Ah~ I got those too. I even went to eat sushi from that place we saw yesterday.”

“Ehh--!!” You exclaimed. “You’re lying!! I wanted to go too!”

“Well then maybe you shouldn’t have thrown a tantrum and blacked out at the home center.”

You huffed and looked away in annoyance as he continued to massage your left arm. The scars slowly faded away as he chanted and rubbed the skin.

“Geez…You should have just gone ahead and conquered Japan without me while you were out…” Souichi laughed as you mumbled under your breath.

“So…did you have fun?” You asked as he moved onto your right arm.

“Not really. The sushi was meh and those annoying old ladies kept asking where you were. They even tried to fit me for a kimono.”

“Did you get one?!” You excitedly asked. Souichi shook his head side to side, indicating that he did not.

“Aw…That’s a shame. I personally think you would look absolutely delicious in a kimono.” Souichi looked at you with a shocked expression, making you go into a panic.

“N-Not that kind of delicious!! I mean uh… Like …nnn…” You ran your hand through your hair as you tried to find the right word. “Handsome! You would look very handsome in a kimono…uuuu…” You brought your hand down to cover your face as Souichi laughed at your embarrassed expression. You’ve been saying a lot of weird things like that to him recently.

Finally finishing your arms, he moved down to your legs. Souichi’s heart suddenly started to race as you pulled your yukata up, allowing him properly to see the scratches he needed to heal on your legs.

Clearing his throat, he gave you the bottle. “I think you can do this part yourself.”

You looked up at the raven-haired man in confusion. “No, I can’t. I never learned how to do healing spells. If I did, do you think I would have been walking around with scratches and bite marks all over my body this whole time?” Souichi sighed at your statement. You were right.

“Fine… I can teach you how to do this if you want.” He said as he opened the bottle.

“Ok. Teach me.” You let out a sigh as Souichi poured the lotion on your legs. It stung at first, but that pain soon melted away.

Rubbing his hands over the markings, he explained the spell to you. You paid careful attention, repeating the chant right after him and watching as your skin healed before your very eyes.

Seeing that you still had a couple of scratches trailing to the back of your legs, he told you to flip over.

You immediately apologized when a small growl escaped you. Being put in a vulnerable position like this was not something you were used to.

As you finally calmed down, Souichi noticed your body slightly move on its own. Your body slid down a bit, trying to keep his fingers on the top half of your legs. His mouth started to feel dry when he saw that you weren’t wearing anything underneath your yukata.

Your legs closed ever so slightly as his hands moved dangerously close to your already slick pussy.

“I-It’s really important to heal all parts of the body…” He nervously explained as he gently rubbed his thumb against your pussy, clear fluid sticking to it as he pulled away.

Completely forgetting about the other scratches on your legs, Souichi focused himself on another part of your body.

“This spell helps with cuts, bruises, and even... muscle fatigue.”

“Fatigue...?” You repeated the word like you had no idea what it meant.

“This place seems to be pretty tight. You probably have a lot of built-up fatigue here…”

You tried to hold back your voice as he slid his index finger into you. Your legs trembled each time he pulled it back and almost out of you. Souichi could feel his member getting harder in his boxers as he continued to finger you. The wet-hot sensation of you wrapped around his finger was making his mind go fuzzy.

He wanted to go further.

Grabbing you by your waist, he flipped you back over. Your cheeks were red, and your chest was rising and falling at an uneven pace. Souichi licked his lips as he got back on his knees and brought his face closer to your pussy.

“You don’t always have to use your hands for this spell though…But…I’ll need to help you if you wanna try this method…”

You let out a shaky moan as he pressed his tongue against you. Souichi could taste the Aloe Vera he had rubbed on you as he pushed his tongue in between your folds.

His tongue was tingling, and his mind was slowly starting to forget how or why he even started doing this to you.

Bringing his hand down to his boxers, he freed his aching erection. Clear fluid dripped from the tip of his cock as he started to move his hand back and forth.

Jolts of pleasure surged through his body as he slipped his tongue inside you, rolling over your clit every time he pulled out. It was almost like you two were actually connected.

He can’t remember how many times he repeated this motion.

Your legs physically trembled as your breathing became more erratic. He could tell you were gonna cum soon. But he couldn’t hold himself back anymore.

Pushing himself off of you, Souichi spread your legs wide. He needed to cum inside you. He needed to make you his.

“Fuck…” Souichi pressed himself against your dripping entrance as he sped up his hands’ motions.

Why did you have to cover your face with your hands? He wanted to see your face when he came inside you.

“Ah~I’m cumming…” His body twitched downward as he pushed just the head of his cock in and poured his thick white seed into you.

A smile grew on his face as he looked down at the mess he had made of you. His seed seeped out of your pussy as he pulled himself out.

Moving to the empty space next to you, Souichi laid on his back. Your shoulders slightly touched as he moved even closer.

His heart was still racing from how amazing that felt. Even now his body felt like it was tingling.

Souichi closed his eyes as he tried to catch his breath.

Completely oblivious to the immense amount of power that was being transferred into him right now.

[heartofwritiing]

I still love you.

Paring(s): Ethan Nestor x fem!reader

a/n: I was in a sad mood again so i got inspiration for this! yay! hope you like it! based on prompts 64. “we need to talk” from this prompt list. I tried to write an argument scene, also idk if I entirely love how this fic turned out. Also NO HATE to Mika I love and respect her and Ethan’s relationship 100% this is literally just for entertainment purposes and not meant to be taken seriously. 

Warning(s): Angst! (grab the tissues) unedited! 

I was planning on staying in tonight but it was Kathryn’s birthday party and I had to go. Amy and Mark insisted that I go to get out of the house and socialize. I knew Ethan would be there and I was dreading even thinking about seeing him. We broke up over a year ago and things didn’t go well. I thought everything was fine and clearly it wasn’t for a while, and I was just delusional. He said he met someone else and he didn’t love me like that anymore, so I left and we haven’t spoken since. Amy and Mark took me in and let me stay in their guest room for as long as I needed but, affording an apartment in southern California was hard and expensive on my own. 

While I was getting ready a gentle knock came at my door.

“It’s me, can I come in?” It was Amy on the other side. 

  I said yes and the door opened. Amy stood in the doorway dressed in a white romper, her makeup and hair were done very nicely to a casual look because she didn't need that much anyways she was pretty on her own. I was just finishing up brushing the knots out of my hair when she sat at the end of my bed. I knew she wanted to chat when she did this, Amy had always been a sister to me since we first met and it was nice to have someone there for me like she was. I started doing a little concealer to cover the dark circles under my eyes but part of me didn’t care about impressing anyone tonight. 

“you okay?” she asks. 

I sigh. I wasn’t sure what to tell her and I didn’t want to lie. She would know if I did kinda like a six sense, she would always know if I was lying or not. 

 “I’m fine,” I say. 

  That wasn’t the whole truth but, It’s been a year and I knew I had to face him at some point. We have the same friends and I didn’t want everyone to feel awkward around us anymore any time the other was mentioned. I’m just tired of everyone acting like everything is wired and wished it would go back to normal.

“You don’t have to go, I know it's been really hard for you and if you're uncomfortable with seeing him-” 

“I'll be fine Ames.” I reassure her. She sighed at my answer but didn’t push further into questioning. 

I finished adjusting my outfit and grabbed my shoes from the floor and pulled them on. We exited my room to see Mark already waiting for us at the front door. He held out both arms for us to take and I raised an eyebrow at him. 

“Shall we ladies?” 

We both giggled but accepted his arms.

“You’re a goof,” Amy laughs. 

-

  Arriving at Kathryn’s house it was a bit crowded with groups talking amongst themselves and some dancing in the living room where music played. Purple lights hung on the walls making the house glow and party streamers hung from the ceiling and some multi colored balloons floated in the conners of the house. It was a pretty chill looking party. The three of us quickly went to find the birthday girl and give hugs and presents. 

“Y/N! You made it!” Kathryn exclaims. She rushes over to me and pulls me into a warm embrace. 

“Of course Kath!” I smiled. “You know I only came for cake,” I wink.  

  She laughs and excuses herself to go greet more guests at the door. I noticed Tyler over by the snack table already chatting with Mark about something I walked over and he greeted me with a hug and he joked how he hasn’t seen me in years. I laughed and shoved his shoulder playfully before he continued his conversation with Mark. I never was into parties or gatherings and preferred hanging out with close friends. The only other person I knew there was Tyler; everyone else was either family or friends of Kath. So I felt like a wallflower for most of the night, which was fine by me since I didn’t like interacting with other people that much.  

About an hour into the party we were all chatting amongst ourselves until the doorbell rang again, and Kathryn went to answer it. When she opened the door I instantly knew who it was since I hadn’t seen him at all yet tonight. Ethan greeted Kathryn with a hug and handed her a medium sized gold box with ribbon tied at the top. She made a motion over to where all of us where standing before heading off the other direction to put the gift on the table.  

  He was here and my brain was panicking. 

My heart was hammering so much I was sure it would bust open my chest. I tried to turn away but I felt frozen and entranced by him. Him and his video game reference t-shirt and jeans. His styled hair, his smile that was contagious that always gave me butterflies. Mark noticed I was quiet for a while and looked over to see me staring at Ethan. He grabbed my hand and held it in his. I knew he was trying to comfort me and it helped. I looked up at him and smiled softly as thanks. He smiled back and continued his conversation with Tyler and I tried to not look in the direction Ethan was in. Instead, I turd to Amy and started talking about something random and she was at first confused then two figures came into my peripheral vision. 

  “Hey guys,” Ethan’s voice came to my ears and I turned to see him standing in front of us all with a girl. Her short green hair stood out and her demeanor seemed nervous. Everyone greeted him back with the same tone except for me but I didn’t think he noticed until his eyes shifted to me and the smile he sent me made me feel dizzy. I give him a very thin smile back. He frowns. 

  “I’m Mika,” the girl standing at his side says. 

Mika gives a small wave to the group. Mark is still holding my hand and I'm trying so hard not to start crying. 

Mark brings up a conversation about an upcoming show he's doing but I zone out. Amy comes to my side and puts a hand around my back. She must've noticed I was starting to get uncomfortable as she leans over into my ear.

“Do you wanna leave?” she whispers. 

I shake my head. 

“I just need the bathroom, be right back.” I say. She nods and gently pats me on the back. I let go of Mark's hand and walked towards the stairs. I've been to Kathryn's house many times so I knew where it was. I could feel everyone's eyes watching me as I walked away but I didn't care. I changed my route to the backdoor slider and pushed it open. I heard a faint call of my name but I ignored it, the chill of california night greeted me as I stepped out into the backyard trying to steady my breathing. 

“Y/N.” 

I froze at the voice. 

It was Ethan. 

“Listen, ” He says. 

At this point I was on the verge of tears but I shook them away and crossed my arms over my chest and turned to face him but I didn't make eye contact out of fear of breaking down. 

“What do you want to talk about?” I asked, shifting my feet. 

I could see him starting to move closer but I kept my eyes to the ground. 

 He inhaled a deep breath. 

“I'm sorry about the way things ended for us and I'm sorry I hurt you.” He said. 

“I wanted to be the very last person to ever hurt you.” 

“Well you failed,” I spit, looking up at him finally. 

His mouth parted, whatever he was going to say next vanished. in his eyes I could tell his mind was racing, searching for the right thing to say next. I clenched my hands at my side as he continued to speak. 

“I felt like shit after

” He says. 

“Then why did you still leave?!” My voice was rising. 

“Because, after what I said I couldn’t bring myself to face you.” 

“So what, you just decided to forget me completely and?” The last words coming out are bitter. 

His eyes narrowed and he took a step closer making me inhale. 

“If you’re referring to Mika, we only just started dating a few months ago.'' he seeths anger laced in his voice. 

“Why would I do that? You think I was happy to leave you?” 

I just shrugged and he scoffed. 

“Well, you were the one who said you didn't love me anymore.” My lip trembling as I thought back to that night he said those words, taking some of his possessions and driving away. 

We stood in silence for a minute before he walked even closer to me and I could hear his breathing. I didn’t see his eyes then he brought his hand up to my chin to tilt my head up to look at him. He smiled softly when our eyes connected then I started crying. 

“Don’t,” I quiver. 

“What?” he asks. 

“Don’t smile at me like everything is fine,” 

“You think I meant that?” 

I nodded. 

“I never stopped loving you.” He says and I gasp. 

 Before I could respond and say I felt the same he was leaning down and capturing my lips with his. I froze for a moment, my eyes going wide in surprise, then relaxed and let him consum me. His arms engulfed around my back to pull me closer so our chests were pressed together, I could feel my heart thumping loudly in my ears and my cheeks heated. The feeling of kissing him was one that I missed very greatly. Just the way he made me tremble with just a touch was proof my emotions regarding Ethan Nestor haven’t changed. Not even in the slightest. I reached my hands up into his hair instinctively, gripping his brown locks to bring him down deeper into me. His teeth came out to nip at my bottom lip causing me to let out a barely audible whine. Desire flooded through me like a wave and it was overwhelming how much I wanted him back so I could kiss him like this again. Over and over again until my lips were numb and swollen. 

A smack filled the air when we pulled away, our breathing was uneven and hot as it mixed due to the proximity of our faces. I was breathless and could barely form a word. Ethan moved away from me entirely and turned back to go inside. my heart sank and deep down I knew, that was a kiss goodbye. 

[ateezmakemeweep]

wooyoung x jealous!reader

word count: 9k

angst (warning: infidelity)

request

you had always trusted your intuition. because while you weren’t very book smart, just getting by with b’s and c’s in most of your classes, you found it incredibly easy to read people. 

their eyes were always a dead giveaway. whether they were able to look you in the face or not, if they were twinged with happiness and amusement or tight with fear and apprehension. 

wooyoung’s eyes were the thing that first caught your attention, the older boy you’d seen so many times in the hallways or in the cafeteria laughing with his friends or looking around happily. but on this one particular day, he plopped down next to you during lunch and completely caught you off guard.

“hey,” he said casually, like this wasn’t the first time he’d ever spoken to you or acknowledged your existence. you looked at him warily, smiling in confusion as you waved at him hesitantly. 

“hi.”

“you’re cute,” he told you bluntly, smiling in a way you know should be getting your heart and stomach fluttering. but you couldn’t help but feel skeptical of the boy, raising your eyebrow at him in confusion. 

“okay...” you said, the smirk on his face at the hesitation in your voice far too handsome and charming. 

“usually, someone would say oh, thank you or you too,” he says, his eyes widening playfully as his eyebrows shoot up teasingly. but you don’t want any part in what he’s trying to offer you, knowing far too well an older boy like him wouldn’t want anything other than...fun with you. and that’s not something you can offer him. 

“i didn’t ask for the compliment,” you say, feeling yourself grow more defensive and snippy as he leans in closer to you. like he’s becoming more and more enticed at the way you dismiss him. “why are you even talking to me?” 

“why are you trying to not talk to me?” he counters, cocking his head to the side as his eyes pierce yours. it makes you unbearably nervous, how confident and sure he can stare at you without the slightest bit of hesitation. “i wanna get to know you.”

“why?”

his lips quirk to the side like he knows he doesn’t really have an answer for you that would make sense. just that anytime he’s seen you around school, he’s been intrigued by you. he likes that you seem just as comfortable alone as you do with other people, how you always make sure to throw out all your wrappers and that you take the same routes everyday. 

he can’t quite pinpoint it, he just likes something about you.

“because i have a feeling we’d be good for each other.”

and to this day, after nine months of dating, you still don’t know how he knew that. he had sat with you everyday that first month, getting to know you and watching you slowly open up to him. it had taken a bit longer than he initially thought but once it happened, you both saw he was right. 

you had a natural chemistry and banter that only certain people had, something innate within the both of you bringing you closer and closer. he had asked you on a date one friday afternoon, suggesting to wear something comfortable and that he’d pick you up at six. 

it had been the most chaotic first day of your life, a bizarre restaurant where you were blindfolded while you ate your meal followed by skating hand in hand at a roller rink. you both left with bruises littering your knees and hands, something very unsuspecting for a first date.

“i didn’t anticipate what a shit show that was gonna be,” he told you honestly when he dropped you home, walking you to your front door as you giggled; that was the best word to describe the evening. 

but it had also been one of the best nights of your life, his contagious laugh and smile only making you laugh harder and smile wider. and when he asked you to be his girlfriend at your doorstep, he only continued to make you the happiest girl alive.

you couldn’t believe he had spent his senior with you. took you to his prom and after-prom in the mountains, got you a ticket to his graduation and showed you off proudly to his family, took you to every party that his fellow classmates had and always made sure you felt comfortable and included. 

but you guys also talked about the elephant in the room, the fact that he’d be attending a college over an hour away while you stayed here to finish your last year of high school.

“what are we gonna do?” you asked one night, laid out on a blanket as you looked up at the sky. stargazing was something you guys had always done, doing it on a whim one night before it turned into a weekly date night activity. 

he rolled over and held himself up on his elbow, reaching out to smooth out your hair as he looked over your face. “what do you mean?” he asked softly. and when you turned to him with tears in your eyes, he immediately took you in his arms. 

“baby, what’s wrong?” he cooed. the night had been going fine, all smiles and laughs as you ate your incredibly unhealthy fast food under the night sky. 

“i don’t wanna break up,” you whimpered against him, your hands fisting his grey sweatshirt as you hid your face in his neck. he pressed a kiss to your head, bringing a hand to your back as he rubbed up and down soothingly. 

“who said anything about breaking up, my love?” he cooed, the term of endearment causing your stomach to swoop. he had just started calling you that after he told you he loved you a few weeks ago, remembering the way he looked at you so sweetly when he confessed those words.

“i-i just assumed you wouldn’t wanna be with your high school girlfriend in college,” you say quietly against him. “it would make sense, i guess, so i can’t say i blame you but-”

he brings your face to his as he places a firm kiss on your lips, melting into you as he palms your cheek softly. you kiss him back immediately, feeling your heart break at the thought of never being able to do this again. 

“i don’t know why you’re thinking like that,” he mumbles once he pulls back, running his hand through your hair before tucking the strands behind your ear. “but get those thoughts out of your head. i’m not breaking up with you, baby. in case you forgot, i just told you i loved you the other day.”

“i know but-”

“but what?” he asks with a smirk, pushing you down on your back and rubbing the stray tear off your cheek. “you think i just say shit to say it?”

“no, but-”

“then stop. i’ll tell everyone at college i have a high school girlfriend and they won’t have shit to say about it.”

you giggle softly at his tone and then even more when he tickles your sides, your screeching causing him to smile and bend down to kiss you again. it’s a night you think you’ll always remember, a night that really solidified your relationship and made you put 100% of your trust in him. 

it’s why now, as you help him move into his college dorm, you have not a single feeling of doubt or anxiety. you told each other you’re gonna alternate weekends, him driving to you or you driving to him on weekends you’re both free of school or sport obligations. 

his roommate mingi was a tall, intimidating boy who the second his mouth opened you took a liking too. he was bouncy and happy and loud and him and wooyoung got on a little too well. you were concerned about the wellbeing and ears of everyone in the dorm, seeing how playful and friendly the boys were with each other already.

you had left to go home with a parting kiss on your lips and his lowly mumbled “i’ll see you soon, baby,” in your ear, his words immediately sending excitement through you. because you hadn’t even left and you were already so eager to see him again. 

and for the first two months, everything had been great. you texted and facetimed everyday, he went to you and you went to him and he made you feel as welcomed at the college parties as he did at the old high school ones he’d take you too. 

but then your first inkling that something didn’t feel right was at a halloween get together at his friend’s frat house. hongjoong was the type of a guy you think most college girls longed for: attractive and alluring but extremely unattainable. wooyoung had introduced him as one of mingi’s best friends, the small group of men as nice as they were handsome. 

there had even been a few girls, all of them either friends or lovers of the boys, who welcomed you with open arms and took you under their wing. but then there was one girl who the second you met her, she rubbed you the wrong way. 

“lisa!” one of them said, grabbing a pretty girl with black hair and bringing her over to you. “this is y/n. wooyoung’s girlfriend!” 

“ahh this is the high school girl he always talks about,” she says excitedly, her voice high and nasally as she brings you in for a friendly, gentle hug. “nice to finally meet you.”

“you too,” you smile. “are you one of the guys girlfriends?” 

she smirks at your question and something about it unnerves you, the way her pretty lips pull up and her eyebrows raise causing you to cave in on yourself. 

“nope, no boyfriend for me,” she says. “but i’m hoping to find one....soon.” you watch her eyes travel toward wooyoung and his group of friends, you heart twinging with the slightest bit of insecurity and fear, before she looks back at you. “how long have you and woo been together?”

your eyes narrow at the nickname but you shake it off, smiling at her as you tell her it’ll be a year next month.

“aw, how exciting! that’s a long time for people so young.”

you choke out a laugh as you nod your head, watching her eyes filter over to wooyoung and his friends again. she really is one of the prettiest girls you’ve ever met, not seeing why anyone in that group wouldn’t jump at the chance to be with her. 

but then wooyoung turns around and his eyes light up upon seeing you, walking over and wrapping his arm around your waist. 

“hi, baby. i see you met, lisa.”

“yeah,” you say quietly, shyly smiling at him before lisa’s voice cuts in. “you didn’t tell me you guys have been together for a year!” 

“almost a year,” you mumble but it goes unheard as wooyoung tightens his hold on your waist. “yup,” he says, placing a kiss on the side of your head and you can’t help but press yourself into him. “it has been pretty long, right, y/n?”

you lick at your lips as you nod your head, something about his words making your stomach knot until he squeezes your waist affectionately. “i want you to meet someone, my friend yeosang just got here.” you’d heard a lot about that boy over these past few weeks, someone in a few of his classes who rivaled him in terms of sassy remarks. 

“okay,” you say softly, smiling up at him and he places a peck on your cheek. “it was nice meeting you, lisa.” she smiles at you in a way that seems forced, her mouth tight and eyes looking between you two with a cold, almost mocking expression; it’s hard to explain really, you just know you don’t like it. 

“you too, y/n, i hope we can hang out some other time.” you smile at her as you nod your head, wooyoung dismissing the girl with a “see ya, lisa,” as you make your way to the other room.

you don’t question wooyoung until later that night, your head on his chest as he absentmindley plays with your hair. “woo, how do you know lisa?” you blurt out, his nickname falling from your lips causing her voice to ring in your head.

“she’s friends with mingi and them,” he tells you lazily, his eyes closed as his fingers continue to rake through your hair. “think she’s also in my english class.” you take in the information and nod your head, your quiet “oh,” causing him to pop open one eye.

“why do you ask?” 

you shrug your shoulders as you turn to bury your face further into him, feeling his hand quickly pull you away so you can look at him. “y/n...” he says and you can’t help the way you let out a tiny sigh. you don’t know why it’s been bothering you all night, the way she kept looking his way and called him by that name, but it has. 

and now you’re looking like a stupid, insecure girlfriend the second you meet one of his female friends. (except you didn’t have a problem with the four others you had met, it was just her). 

“what?” you squeak quietly. he takes your face in his hands, thumbs softly rubbing at your cheeks as he looks down at you with soft eyes. soft and honest and sweet, the way they’ve always looked at you. 

“what’s wrong?” 

“nothing,” you insist, shaking your head as his warm hands cover your cheeks. “i just...she’s pretty.” the last two words are squeaky and fall flat, a tiny sigh leaving him as he brings your face in closer and pecks the tip of your nose. 

“so are you,” he says, his thumbs caressing your cheeks again as he looks at you. “you’re pretty and you’re mine,” he says, snaking his hand down to tickle at your stomach. you giggle and wriggle against him, your tiny squeals of his name and his deep chuckle settling the sinking feeling in your stomach. 

you’re just being insecure, you think, wooyoung had never given you a reason not to trust him. 

three weeks later, on your one year anniversary, wooyoung comes down from school and spends the day with you. he took to the same restaurant and rollerskating rink like he did so long ago, when you were shy and reserved and still a little confused as to why he wanted to spend time with you.

but this time was even better than the last, still chaotic and a bit of a mess but some much needed time with your boyfriend. because with his coursework picking up, you haven’t been able to talk with as much during the week. but now you’re back at your house, laid out in your bed with your head on his shoulder as you watch a movie; or at least try to. 

because ever since the horror started, his phone hadn’t stopped buzzing. he kept kissing your head in apology, taking it from your bedside table and typing out message after message; you didn’t say anything until he had gone back and forth ten times. 

“do you want me to pause it?” you asked, moving your head off of him and scooting over. he looked over after he sent the message, shaking his head before putting his phone face down on the table; you try not to feel uneasy.

“no, love, i’m sorry,” he says, throwing his arm back around you before tugging him in to you. “lisa just had a few questions about an english project due next week.” 

you feel yourself grow stiff at the mention of her name, the casual way in which he says it not settling you in the slightest. instead, it makes you remember just how unsettled her presence made you. how something about her words and eyes seemed disingenuous. and perhaps you still think it was your own insecurities but you’ve also never not trusted your instincts before. 

“oh.”

he looks over at the tone in your your voice, frowning ever so slightly before pulling you into him. “i’m sorry, babe, i promise i’ll pay attention now,” he says, nuzzling his face into your neck. you smile as his hair starts to tickle your neck, giggling when you feel his lips on your skin before you’re screeching his name when he gets you on your back.

“stop,” you whine playfully, despite the way your arms wrap around his shoulders. he looks at you and smiles, leaning down to press a kiss to your lips. you hear the faint double vibration of his phone on your bedside table but you both ignore it, allowing his tongue to slip into your mouth as his hand rests on your waist. 

“love you, baby,” he hummed lowly when he pulled back, trailing his lips down to your neck before they go farther and farther until your mumbling your cries in the crook of your arm.

and because he loves you, he always understood you didn’t like to drink. you didn’t like the taste of it or the idea of not being in control of your body, settling for a coke or water at any party you went to. 

but a week before his semester was over, you drove up to visit and found yourself at another frat party. it was just as packed and loud as it was last time, the slightly overwhelming scent of alcohol and chattering of college kids making you uneasy. 

wooyoung and his friend’s made it easier, though, including you in the conversation when prompted and sitting with you as they waited for their turn at beer pong. “are you sure you don’t wanna play, love?” he asked you lowly, knelt between your knees as he looked up at you. 

“you know i don’t drink, wooyoung,” you said lowly, cheeks burning because you feel like a stupid little kid here. and he knows you don’t like these things in the first place so why would you wanna play? 

“i know but it’s just a game ba-”

“wooyoung! c’mon, i need a team member still,” lisa’s voice whined, smiling at you before her gaze trains on wooyoung. you narrow your eyes slightly, a sinking feeling deep within the pit of your stomach as you watch wooyoung nod his head at her. 

“i’ll be back, love, watch how quick i win,” he winks, raising up to place a peck on your lips before snaking over to the table. you watch with a small smile before it falls from your face, looking down to play with your fingers. you wanna play with him but the crowd and environment is too much, coupled in with the fact you’d be experiencing this firsthand in front of a bunch of seasoned college kids who will probably laugh at you. 

you look like you don’t belong here and you feel like it too. but wooyoung does, his handsome smile and infectious laugh just naturally bringing people in. an excited squeal leaves lisa when wooyoung’s ball lands right in the cup, his and her hand meeting in a high five that lingers just a little too long. 

you’re sitting there for twenty minutes, just watching pathetically as wooyoung and lisa land ball after ball. every time she gets in it, she’ll throw her arms up and her pretty long hair will swirl around gracefully. you have to resist the urge to roll your eyes, taking your phone out to distract yourself.

“hey,” you hear a voice say. your head pops up to see if they’re talking to you, the boy wooyoung introduced to you as yeosang looking down at you. he had described him as sassy and a bit of a blunt asshole but you hadn’t gotten that impression at all. he seemed sweet and kind, a soft-spoken voice with even softer eyes. 

“hi. yeosang, right?” 

“yeah,” he smiles, taking the seat next to you. there’s a few moments of silence and you look over again when lisa’s squeal pierces your ears. you take a sharp inhale, averting your eyes before you can see her and wooyoung celebrate together again. 

“why are you sitting here alone?” 

you peak at the boy looking thoughtfully at you and shrug, your lips quirking before you look back down at your hands. “just waiting for wooyoung to be finished,” you tell him. but then you hear someone say “rematch!” and your head snaps over, wooyoung smiling challengingly as he nods his head. 

his eyes graze over to you and they turn sympathetic, a frown on his face before he mouths “sorry,” before holding up one finger. you let out a sigh but nod your head, sending him a small smile that drops when his attention is pulled away by lisa. 

“you should tell him it bothers you,” you hear yeosang say, looking over at the boy with a wide eyed gaze. he says it so straight forwardly that it causes you to grown nervous, biting your lip before you open your mouth to speak. 

“what?”

he raises his eyebrow and you know he’s seeing through your lie. the lie that you’re not all bothered by being here and watching him play with another girl. a girl you’re almost positive has ill-intentions. and now you see where yeosang’s bluntness comes in. 

“that him and lisa make you uncomfortable,” yeosang tells you, looking over and seeing them smile at one another in victory. “because you’re worried, aren’t you?” 

it’s the first time it’s been verbalized and it makes your stomach squeeze painfully, sadness and anger and disappointment flooding through you. “should i be?” you squeak, since you know he sees you them a lot more than you. 

“i don’t know,” he says, the both of you looking over in time to see lisa smack wooyoung’s arm playfully as she throws her head back. “should you be?”

your conversation with yeosang rings your head for the rest of your time you’re there, wooyoung coming over after the eventual third game and taking you in his arms. “i’m so sorry, love, these pussies just wouldn’t accept losing,” he says loudly enough for mingi and another shorter boy to hear.

“it’s okay,” you say softly, begging him with your eyes to get out of here. and he must see it immediately because he takes your hand in his and pulls you up, snaking his arm around your waist tightly. “i’ll make it up to you, i promise,” he hums against your ear, “you wanna leave?” 

you nod against him as you smile shyly, pushing yourself further into him. wooyoung says his goodbyes to his friends, the girls you’d been talking to before waving at you and saying they hope to see you the next time you come up. all the girls but lisa, who snaked her way over with a frown on her face.

“you guys are leaving?” she whined, looking over you quickly before switching to wooyoung. “but what if i need other partner?” your boyfriend chuckles at the girl, tightening his hold on you when he feels you stiffen. 

“san’s pretty good, i’m just better,” wooyoung says before looking down at you. “little one wants to leave, though.” he says it lightheartedly but it makes your cheeks warm, like he’s talking about you as a little kid. 

“oh c’mon, y/n,” lisa says, her cold hand touching your arm playfully. “we were having fun.” you smile despite the rage coursing through you, shrugging your shoulders as you mumble out an excuse that you’re tired. 

“ah, right, i always forget you’re just a little high schooler,” she says, her voice snide and mocking like she knows that was one of your biggest insecurities. about you and wooyoung staying together. “you don’t like this kind of stuff, do you?” 

“i don’t like my boyfriend ignoring me, no,” you snap, lisa’s eyebrow raising as she looks between you and the boy staring at you in shock; you never snap like that and he hadn’t realized you felt that way. 

“yikes,” she mutters, her eyebrows shooting up sarcastically before looking at wooyoung comfortingly. “well i’ll see you guys soon, maybe,” she hums, might as well having said maybe, if you guys are still together come the spring semester. 

“what was that?” wooyoung asks when you get outside, your hands intertwined as you walk to his dorm.

“what was what?” you mumble, your eyes trained down on the street in front of you. you hadn’t meant to snap like that but you couldn’t help it, the whole night had been rubbing you the wrong way. 

“i wasn’t ignoring you, y/n, i was just preoccupied with the game. i asked you if you wanted to play.”

“when have i ever wanted to play drinking games, wooyoung?” you ask him, turning your head to look at him. “you know parties aren’t my thing.”

“then why’d you say it was okay to go?” he asks, the slightest hint of annoyance in his tone making you flare with anger. is he serious? he’s annoyed right now?

“because you wanted to go,” you say, eyebrows narrowed at him in confusion. “i wasn’t gonna ruin your last weekend here and say we shouldn’t go.”

“well i also don’t wanna fight with you my last weekend here, baby,” he says, smiling softly as his eyes roam over your face. he stops you both of you from walking and brings a hand to your hair, tucking it behind your ear gently. “we got through the first semester with no problems, love, let’s not ruin that, okay? i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to make you feel ignored.”

you let out a sigh at his voice, hating the way his soft tone and eyes can always make you feel relaxed. your eyes bore into his and he raises a brow, tapping the tip of your nose before leaning down to kiss it. “i’m sorry, babyyy,” he drags out, wrapping his hands around your waist and placing a peck on your neck. “don’t be mad at me.”

“i’m not mad at you,” you sigh out, not being able to help the smile on your face at his whining. and once he feels your body relax, it’s like he knows he’s clear. because he pops up and kisses you on the lips, his hand reaching up to cup your cheek. 

“let’s get home now, yeah? i want you sitting on my-”

“wooyoung!” you squeal, your hands flying up to your red cheeks as his loud giggle echoes through the street. 

you don’t know when exactly you felt the slight change between you and wooyoung. it might have been during christmas break, those six weeks of what was supposed to be bliss something of a reality shock. 

you thought spending everyday with him would be perfect, basking in the way you’d be able to do everything together again: go on dates and watch movies and have sleepovers so you could fall asleep next to him and wake to a kiss on your cheek. but instead, tensions began to form. 

it was almost unrecognizable at first, your dates still full of smiles and laughs but always ending short. “i’m sorry baby, my mom needs me to watch my brother,” he’d say, “i gotta wake up early tomorrow, me and the boys are gonna go to the gym in the morning.” 

but then when you guys actually were together, he’d seem distracted. absentmindley watching tv or playing games with you, his phone constantly vibrating as it lay face down on the table or bed. you’d ask him about and he always said it was probably seonghwa, jongho and yunho going crazy in the group chat. 

then the one night you caught a glimpse of him texting, you hadn’t even meant to. you just leaned over him to grab your glass on the table, pecking his cheek in the process and hearing him chuckle happily. but then your eyes caught the name lisa at the top of the screen and you nearly dropped the drink in your hand. 

“who are you texting?” you asked, holding your breath because if he lies, you know your heart’s gonna crumble right here. 

“lisa,” he says and, while you’re grateful he doesn’t lie, it doesn’t seem to lessen the blow. “she’s registering late for classes so she was just asking me which ones i’m taking.”

“oh,” you squeak out, bringing the cup to your lips so you don’t blurt out something you can’t take back. you swallow it down as you watch a smirk cross his face, typing out a message before he puts his phone back down. 

“you good?” he asks, turning to look at you watching him. you nod your head and place it back on the table, the phone buzzing again. 

“do you text a lot?” you blurt out.

you watch his expression soften and he pulls you into him, his arm around your shoulder as he holds you tightly. “baby...” he says. 

“what?” you squeak, feeling your cheeks grow warm. you hate that you feel this way, insecurity and doubt in him and your relationship laying heavy on your heart. but you have to imagine if you were texting another boy that wasn’t him, he wouldn’t like it. but you also don’t know, you never put him in the position to feel that way before.

“we’re just friends,” he says and you bite the inside of your cheek so you don’t scream; you hadn’t said anything like that so why is he telling you that? “she only texted me for the schedule, love.”

you look up to meet his gaze and see a frown on his lips, his eyes trailing over every part of your face. “do you trust me?” he then asks suddenly, seeing all of the doubt and hesitation over your face. you immediately nod your head, feeling tears burn the back of your eyes at the idea of starting a fight. 

“then why does it seem like you don’t?”

and you don’t think much of this comment at the time, simply telling him all of your concerns about her being pretty and fun at parties and maybe being a better fit for him. 

but in retrospect, when you’ll look back at this moment, you’ll realize just how manipulative he was. how this was the moment wooyoung looked you in the face and told you that he didn’t care about any of that, that he loved you and only you and that as long as you were his, he’d never look at another girl. 

that he let you think for two more months that your intuition was wrong, that you were just an insecure girl not capable of trusting her perfect boyfriend. but he wasn’t a perfect boyfriend, you were coming to discover, especially when you sat alone in a restaurant near his school for your belated valentine’s day dinner.

he told you to come up that weekend so you could celebrate the holiday, saying just to meet him at a cute little cafe he’d been wanting to take you to. you arrived on time and waited in your car, looking around the area for his familiar face or figure. but after ten minutes, you shrugged it off and decided to get you guys a table. 

but you sat there for almost forty minutes now, texts and calls going unanswered by him. workers and other customers were starting to notice you get more anxious, looking at you with sympathy in their gazes like you’d gotten stood up on a first date. 

but this was your boyfriend of over a year, for your valentine’s day date, with a last minute gift you made for him weighing down your purse. feeling stupid and embarrassed, you shot up from your seat and charged back out to your car to drive to his dorm. 

you walked the familiar path to his room and banged on the door, mingi’s face falling slightly when he sees the expression on your face. “hey, y/n,” he says, his voicer louder than usual. “what are you doing here?”

but sick of being meek and polite all the time, you push your way through and are hit with the stench of the small room courtesy of lisa, wooyoung and san passing a joint as they sit on his bed. four other people are also spread out on mingi’s and the dusty floor, looking up at you and nodding their heads at you; you’ve never seen them before. 

wooyoung’s eyes widen the second he sees you, realization swarming in his face before he shoots up from his position.

“oh shit. hey, babe.”

you narrow your eyes at him, looking at the other people and seeing lisa staring right into you before you let out a humorless laugh, shaking your head and turning right around. 

“y/n, wait,” wooyoung says, but you’re already out of the room before he can say anything else. angry tears sting your eyes as you stomp down the hall, footsteps behind you following quickly. 

“y/n,” your boyfriend’s voice says again, tone begging and desperate for you to stop. but you only walk faster, walk as fast as you can to the door and push it open until the cold hair hits your face. 

“y/n,” he says firmly one last time, grabbing you by the arm firmly but gently. 

it fills you with so much rage, ripping it from his hold and spinning around to look at him. he has the balls to look sympathetic and upset, like he wasn’t getting high with random people, with lisa, while you were waiting for him on the date he planned.

“what?” you snap, looking at him and narrowing your eyes when he only looks at you taken back. “what wooyoung? what? you wouldn’t stop calling my name and now you don’t have anything to say?”

“i’m sorry,” he breathes out, stepping forward to put his arms around you but you step back and shake your head. hurt crosses his face and you wanna slap it off, thinking he has no right to be upset right now. 

“why were you- i was waiting for you,” you tell him bluntly, voice strong despite how weak and defeated you feel. you know things have been rocky these past few months, missing each other’s phone calls and elapsed silences when you do see each other but missing a date? 

“i know, baby, and i’m so sorry but i got distracted and didn’t notice the time and-”

“you’re the one who planned it wooyoung!” you yelp, “you got me excited thinking you actually wanted to see me and you left me waiting there for forty minutes.”

“i did wanna see you,” he says, stepping forward and grabbing you before you can move again. “i do wanna see you. i’m sorry. mingi’s friend’s came and we lost track of time.”

you press your lips into a tight line, wanting so badly to scream at him some more. these are all lousy excuses, they sound like bullshit to your and probably his own ears. if he didn’t wanna hang out with you, he could’ve just told you and saved you the-

his arms wrapping around you in a hug cause your thoughts to stop, arms shooting up as you consider pushing him away. but then his face falls into the crook of your neck and he tightens his hold on you, his mumbles of apologies and sweet nothings softening you slightly. 

“why were you smoking?” you ask. you didn’t have a problem with him drinking or smoking, you just had no idea he did that now. you feel like you don’t know anything about him anymore. 

“san brought it,” he says, pulling back and bringing his hand to your face. he caresses your cheek gently and a tiny frown covers his mouth, feeling a pang of guilt and hurt in his heart. “i really am sorry, love. i didn’t mean to forget and i’ve been so excited to see you. the time just got away from me.”

you purse your lips to the side in contemplation, looking up at him and shaking your head when, after a few silent moments, he smiles cutely at you. “i got you gift, too.”

you shake your head as you look at him, allowing yourself to move closer to him as he pulls you into his body. you’ve missed being like this with him, accepting the comfort and warmth and happiness he brings you. 

“i did too,” you tell him, “even though i should make you wait.” 

you know a pout is on his face before the whine leaves him, squeezing at your ticklish sides and making you spring away from him. “not fair!” you yelp. and then the teasing, borderline sadistic smile he gives you causes you to back up even more, speeding off in the direction of your car as he follows behind you. 

you struggle to walk with his arms wrapped around your waist, the both of you giggling as you fumble to your car. a small voice in the back of your head is telling him you let him off too easy, that you’re stupid to not have asked more questions and to listen to the pit in your stomach telling you something’s wrong. 

but you’re happy about the fact that you guys are good right now, that he’s smiling over at you with the softness is his eyes that remind you so much of the time you guys first started dating.

when you heard one monday that school would be closed on friday for testing, you immediately got the idea to surprise your boyfriend. you hadn’t been able to go up last week due to a family party and had really missed seeing him, his face on the camera of your phone not being enough to dull the ache in your chest. 

so when friday morning came, so did your overwhelming excitement. you jumped in your car and drove to his college happily, knowing he didn’t have class until later in the day and hoping you’d be able to just lay in his arms for a few peaceful hours. 

you stopped to get two coffees before you pulled into the parking lot, making your way into his building and down to his dorm. you do your best to knock on the door with your hip, surprised when it actually pushes open slightly. you hum happily, securing the two coffee cups in your hand before you open the door further.

“surprise!” you say teasingly, the happy smile on your face falling off immediately. because the surprise was actually for you, a shirtless lisa straddling your boyfriend’s lap as they kiss so naturally it makes you wanna puke.

you almost don’t believe what you’re looking at, the coffees falling from your hands and splattering on the floor. this isn’t real, there’s no way he would do that. he wouldn’t cheat on you, that’s not what your boyfriend wooyoung would ever do. 

but in the way your heart is pounding rapidly and threatening to break, the way lisa’s head snaps away from wooyoung’s and looks at you in shock, your boyfriend’s eyes widening before he pushes lisa off to the side, you know he did it. he very well had lied and cheated and completely betrayed you. 

“y/n, it’s-”

“not what i think?” you ask, voice eerily calm and even despite the chaos inside your body. 

“it’s actually exactly what you think,” lisa’s snide voice says and the hatred that courses through you, you don’t think you’ve ever felt before. you wish you hadn’t dropped the coffees so you could’ve thrown it in her smug face. 

“shut the fuck up, lisa,” wooyoung’s voice says, deep and low with an uncharacteristic growl in it before he makes his way over to you; it’s such a familiar scene, him moving toward you as you back away. except this time, you know you’re not forgiving him and the pain in your chest is ten time worse. 

“baby, i-”

“don’t call me that,” you say, voice raising but still strong and even as you continue to walk backwards.

“okay, okay, just let me explain-”

“it doesn’t matter,” you say, shaking your head as you look at him with tears building in your eyes. you don’t wanna cry and scream and give the smirking girl looking at you the satisfaction of watching you have a breakdown. but you also can’t control the tears, watching him look at you with sadness and sympathy swarming in his eyes. 

you thought you knew them so well and yet, he’d been lying to you the whole fucking time. 

“it does, y/n, i have to tell you-”

“how long?” you ask. you don’t know why you ask, you don’t wanna know. but you can’t help it, the kiss looked far too natural and familiar to be something that happened in the heat of the moment. 

“baby-”

and you can’t even help it when you stomp toward him and slap him across the face, your palm stinging as you his head snaps to the side. “i said to not fucking call me that,” you scream, wishing you could slap and punch and hit him over and over again for what he’s put you through these past few months. “now tell me. how long.”

and the coward that he is, with a red slap mark on his cheek, he shakes his head and looks at the coffee covered floor. you debate kicking him in the shin, just because you can and just because you have so many emotions swirling in you, before lisa’s voice pierces the air again. 

“last day before christmas break,” she tells you, her shirt back on as she lays back in his bed like she belongs there. “i kissed him and he kissed me back.” you look at her and are half tempted to go and slap her as well, a humorless laugh leaving you. it sounds manic and unhinged, like you have two minutes before you completely absorb what’s happening and have a breakdown, but you can’t stop yourself from shaking your head.

“why do you sound so proud?” you ask her, voice shaking and threatening to break. “you knew he was with me. you knew he had a girlfriend. why did you always-” your voice breaks and you have to stop talking, holding in the tears and screams wanting to leave you so badly. 

“i told you,” she says, cocking her head to the side as she looks at you. “i was hoping to find a boyfriend.”

“you didn’t find one,” wooyoung snaps, looking over her with disgust and rage in his eyes. “we were only-”

“hooking up?” lisa says, looking at him with a smirk before a melodic laugh leaves her mouth. “yeah, that sounds a lot better for your case, woo.” her eyes travel back to yours and she can only shrug her shoulders carelessly. “sorry but i saw him and wanted him. wish i had a better explanation for you.”

you bite the inside of your cheek and you think you’re probably drawing blood but you only nod your head, looking between her and wooyoung one last time. “well you have him now,” you say quietly, voice teary and breaking but it doesn’t even matter anymore. “enjoy.”

and like the dramatic exit any girl makes after she finds out she’s being cheated on, you turn around and slam the door before walking back outside. you feel the wet tears streaming down your face but only sniffle, wiping at your cheeks before the cold air finally hits them.

and that’s when you allow yourself to let out the first whimper, shaking your head as the tears start flowing because you can’t believe that just happened. you knew things had been rough and you knew you didn’t trust her so it’s not even like you can say you were surprised that she had gotten to him.

but that’s exactly the point. she had gotten to him, it was his duty to tell her to leave him alone and to stop talking to him and that he had a girlfriend he claimed to love. but now you have to get yourself together and drive home and wipe away every reminder in your room of-

“y/n, please,” you hear wooyoung say, his dejected form standing just outside the dorm building. you turn and his face crumbles when he sees you’re crying but really what the fuck does he expect? “please, please hear me out and if you never wanna see me again-”

“i already know i never wanna see you again,” you say, your voice back to being quiet and timid because you can’t take crying. you hate it and you hate that he did this. “so just go back inside, wooyoung.”

“no. not until you hear me out.”

and that sends another whole wave of emotions through you, mostly anger and rage as you stomp toward him and push him backward with all the strength you could muster. 

“go fuck yourself, i don’t have to hear out anything from you. you’ve been cheating on me wooyoung. for three months. do you not fucking realize what you’ve done?”

“of course i do, y/n,” he says and you see tears welling up in his eyes now but you can’t find yourself to care. “i knew it was a mistake and i tried to break it off so many times but then-”

“you knew how i felt,” you say and now your voice holds no anger or strength. it’s just purely devastated and broken and shaky. “you knew i didn’t trust her and that i was insecure and you just kept telling me i never had anything to-” a sob leaves your mouth and you shake your head, backing away from him. 

he already knows this, he heard this from you and lived with it for all of these months. he knew it before he started and while he did it, telling you that you trusted and loved each other, that you were his and he was yours and everything was gonna be okay. 

“you’re such a fucking asshole,” you cry and a tear rolls down his cheek as he steps closer to you. “y/n.”

“i’m never gonna trust anyone ever again. do you fucking realize that, wooyoung?” you cry, his voice ringing in your head from january, when now you know he had already been with her, asking why you didn’t trust him. “you were with her and turned it around on me and asked why i didn’t trust you.”

he only starts to cry more as you piece together his lies and disgusting behavior, his gut wrenching and heart pounding the more this plays out. 

“i’m sorry,” he says shakily, moving closer to you and taking your hands in his. “i’m sorry, y/n. please. please forgive me just this once and i promise i’ll-”

“you’re not seriously doing this right now,” you snap, eyes shooting up to his tearful ones and looking at him in outrage. 

“i need you, baby, i love you and i fucked up but please, you can’t-”

“get away from me,” you say, attempting to rip your hands from his grasp. but he only tightens them and brings you closer to him.

“if you just listen to me, maybe you’ll-”

“stop,” you say, struggling to pull your hands free. you need to get away from him. you can’t hear him sound this pathetic and sad and begging. 

“no. i need you to fucking hear me out and-”

“let go of me,” you say through clenched teeth, hot wet tears burning your eyes and running down your face; he’s making this a lot more dramatic and heartbreaking than it already is. but then he pulls you into him and wraps you in a hug and you’re so close to kneeing him between the legs. 

his buries his head in the crook of your neck and holds you like his life depends on it, like his life just crashed down as he realized what the fuck he’s been doing for these past few months.

but you’ve realized for these past few months that things were different, that an awful strain was happening between you two and there was gonna be a sad ending no matter what.

so you push him away again with all the strength you have left and take a few steps backwards. “you lied to me, wooyoung. you lied to me and betrayed my trust and cheated on me with someone i told you i didn’t trust.” 

“y/n, i know but-”

“i never wanna see you again. or talk to you again. do you understand me?” 

“y/n...” tears are in his eyes and streaming down his cheeks and you’ve never seen him look so broken and fucked up before. but you’ve never felt this broken and fucked up before either, feeling like you’re about to collapse from the emotional havoc within you. 

“we’re done, wooyoung,” you say, with a tone of finality and strength you can’t believe you have right now. but you also have to get one more dig in because you think you have the right to after all of this. “go back to lisa, now.”

you walk to your car and feel relieved when he doesn’t follow you, slamming your car door and locking it before you allow yourself to really cry. sobbing uncontrollably into your hands, to the point where it’s hard to breathe and you don’t think you’re ever gonna remember how to breathe again. 

a tapping at your window has you jumping, getting ready to take off in reverse if it’s wooyoung begging for a second chance. but your teary eyes widen when you see his roommate mingi, looking at you with sad eyes. you swallow down the lump in your throat and get out of the car hesitantly, looking around to see if wooyoung was lurking.

you don’t say anything when you get out but mingi doesn’t say anything either. he just takes in your red eyes and teary, puffy face as the sounds of your sobs ring in his head over and over. sobs he feels at fault for, too.

“you found out?”

and even though you were already so broken and upset, those words somehow completely shatter you. your head snaps up and mingi’s face turns even more guilty and sad. you thought you and mingi were friends, always hanging out in the dorm with wooyoung and really coming to like the banter you three had. 

but that question really makes it seem as if...

“you knew?” 

he bites at his lip and doesn’t make a move, but the look in his eyes gives you all the confirmation you need. the way they look at you so apologetically and with pity, before they start roaming ever part of your face but your eyes. 

another choked, broken laugh leaves your mouth and you just turn around to get back in your car. but mingi’s big hand takes the top of the door and stops it, his deep “wait,” causing you to snap around.

“why?” you snap, “you fucking knew and you didn’t tell me, mingi!”

“he’s one of my best friends and my roommate, y/n, what i was supposed to-”

“and who am i?” you scream, because you’ve taken just about all you can today. “i thought we were friends too, mingi.” his soft, sympathetic eyes roam over your face and his giant frame deflates, biting down on his lower lip hesitantly. 

“i only found out last month,” he tells you honestly, “and he told me he was gonna stop.”

“oh, so what, he cheats on me in secret for a few months and everyone keeps me in the dark like a fucking idiot?” 

mingi looks down at hearing the brokenness and anger in your voice, his lack of a response or justification the only appropriate thing about this moment. because it doesn’t matter, none of this matters anymore and you just wanna drive home and forget about all of this. 

“it doesn’t even matter, mingi,” you say, taking his hand off your car door before dropping it in the air. “it’s over now. we’re done and they can be happy now.”

“he loves you, y/n,” the boy says quietly, like that’s supposed to make you feel better and run back into wooyoung’s arms. but you only laugh and shake your head, closing the door in his face before starting up your car. 

because if that’s love, you hope to never be loved again. it made you go against your intuition and doubt yourself and allowed you to stay with someone who just ended up lying to you and hurting you.

(part 2)

[spiderling-space]

This started as a joke but I wanted to take it further and make a smut fic with a bit of crack at the beginning. 

I was conflicted between going through the normal route and starting the regular fanfic to introduce my MC but introducing via smut is OP and it is something I’d do.

Featuring my MC… Natalie and the horny boy Malleus

Established relationship

Italics indicate thoughts and emphasis 

Explicit content below the cut

“I bribed Grimm to leave us alone, he will be with Ace and Deuce and won’t be coming back to Ramshackle tonight and I asked the ghosts to give us some privacy.” The redhead beamed at Malleus, smiling widely, standing in her pajama shorts and top tank.

“I thought you wanted to watch just a movie. Why would you send your friends away, Child of Man?” Malleus questions Natalie’s motives. Is he dense or is he doing that to make me say it out loud?

Natalie tiptoed, closing the distance between them as she stroked his cheek. “I didn’t want anyone interrupting our date. And I don’t think calling me Child of Man would be good for the mood now… After all, it is a date.” She said cheekily before grabbing his hand and dragging him to the lounge. “Also, it isn’t one movie. There are 3… Uhm… short movies… Yeah… short movies.” She explained curtly before asking Malleus to sit as she connected her laptop to the TV. She couldn’t pass the opportunity to tease him considering the nature of the movies they were about to watch so she wiggled her butt when she was sure Malleus was looking at her way. She was disappointed when she didn’t see any reaction from him instead, he was sitting his back straight and focusing on the TV. Either way, this was no time to be focusing on trivial things, they had 3 interesting short movies to watch and she would be getting his attention at the end either way. “You can take notes while watching. In fact, I would recommend it.” She couldn’t contain the giggle that she tried to surpass whilst she was taking her position on the couch, laying on it and putting her feet on Malleus’ lap to flaunt her slender legs to him.

“Is this how humans watch a movie?” He asked curiously, “We do not have movies in the Valley of Thorns, television is not used. We have various plays in the theatres.” 

“You can watch TV however you want and whatever position that’s comfortable.” She changed into a sitting position, planted a chaste kiss on his cheek before winking at him. “I doubt you have the type of movies that we are about to watch as plays.” She wondered if he was understanding the nature of what they were about to watch and even thought of informing him but she also wanted to see his reaction. “One little info before we watch… these aren’t 100 percent real but it gives some vague ideas.”

So she pressed the play, she already knew what was going to happen so she wasn’t paying much attention to the screen, instead, her green eyes were focusing on Malleus to see his reactions.

Malleus’ eyes widened at what he was seeing on the screen. “Oh dear… Did something happen?” Natalie feigned innocence, amused by his reaction.

She paused the video when Malleus looked with a bewildered expression. “What is this?”

Natalie kept her voice neutral, trying to contain the hilarity hidden. “It is called porn. To be precise, lesbian porn.”

It seemed like Malleus had no idea what she was talking about or why she would make them watch such a thing. “Do humans enjoy watching other humans having intimate time?”

Realizing that she couldn’t explain it from her position, she was once again sitting. She took his hand in hers, making eye contact while she explained her standpoint. “Actually, I prefer soft porn over hardcore one but the circumstances demanded this.” She cleared her throat. “Before we started dating or in your words courting, I asked you if you would be okay with premarital sex since you said this is the first time you are experiencing these feelings. You said you are okay with it and Lilia told you about the intimacy between partners. While I’m sure Lilia didn’t leave any stone unturned, seeing the action is better just hearing about it. Of course, hands-on is the best way of learning but that’s a topic for another time.” She kissed his knuckles, hoping that he would see it as a romantic gesture. “To be fair, I know that porn is unrealistic but I found these that focus on female pleasure. I spent hours to find the best 3 videos. I needed to bleach my eyes after seeing some stuff.” She shivered after recalling certain cursed videos.

“Bleaching your eyes would blind you.” I should teach him 21st-century slang. 

Natalie chuckled, “It’s just an expression used when you see something that is disturbing.” At least I didn’t say cursed images… He could have taken that literally and go ‘who cursed you?!’. “Where was I?... Ah yeah, the pleasure part. It’s the part where I said you can take notes... So about that…” She grimaced, recalling that awful memory. “In short, the preparation time, or in other words foreplay, is an important part of sex. I don’t want our first time to be as disappointing, unsatisfactory and anti-climatic as my own first time.” She gave him a sheepish look, “I hope you understand. It is fine if you don’t want to watch it though, we can pick a PG13 movie or do another activity.”

Malleus had kept a stoic expression whilst Natalie was talking, which was making it hard for her to understand what he was thinking. She was wondering if she somehow ended up offending him until he finally spoke. “It is fine. As you said, one learns better when it is shown.”

Nat got back to her previous position and resumed the movie. The redhead had already watched the movies she picked so she wasn’t focusing on the screen, all of her attention was on Malleus and trying to gauge his reaction. Though there was none, no excited expression nor an absorbed one, he was just apathetic. Nat even accidentally brushed his crotch with her feet but didn’t feel any hardness. Is he really not interested in porn? Maybe he is sleeping with his eyes open… Or maybe he has experience in this, built up a tolerance against… He is quite old too though he didn’t say his real age… 

“So what do you think?” Natalie asked after all 3 videos she picked ended. She closed all the tabs, cleared the browser history before shutting down her laptop. One can never be too careful. 

Natalie withdrew one of her legs and placed it behind Malleus’ back, inching close enough for her chest to almost touch his arm. Malleus took a glance at her new position before answering her. “It was interesting.”

“How so?”

“I saw everything Lilia told me and more. You are right, seeing the action is better for learning.” Malleus turned his body in her direction, his hand found its way to her long locks, grazing them lightly, having a smug expression along the way. “But as you said, hands-on is the best way of learning.” He held her chin before closing the distance between their mouths, eyes closed as his lips started moving.

Natalie didn’t expect him to take action immediately but she wasn’t complaining. She wondered how far he would take it. Her hands were wandering on his chest, back and finally, she pulled him closer by his shirt's neck. It must have encouraged him since she heard him growl. She was proven right when he fully turned her way and slowly pressed her to the couch below. His hand started to explore her top gently under her tank top, starting from her belly and moving on to her chest, cupping one of her breasts. 

Nat patted his cheek and pulled a little away from him, “I know in porn, it is comfortable to do it on the couch but in reality, it isn’t. So-”

Before she could finish, Malleus teleported them to her bedroom, on her bed. “Is this better? I can take us to my chambers as well.”

“No, no, this is fine.” She gave him a peck. “I just have 2 more requests from you.” Malleus nodded, signing her to go on before starting to kiss her neck. I need to focus on my demands and don’t let myself be distracted. “Hehe… Wait, wait...” His hair was tickling her neck as well, making her impossible to stop giggling, so she resorted to grasping his chin and tilting up, making him look at her. “Before we go any further, I need to see your nails.” He looked confused by her request so she added a quick explanation. “Nails can scratch and tear muscle down there which would bring me great pain and maybe go to the hospital as well, so…”

“I would never harm you, Natalie.” He showed her his nails which were perfectly trimmed. “What is your second request?”

“I need you to wash your hands. You know how much of a hygiene freak I am, I just can’t stand the thought of something dirty getting inside of me.” She hoped it wouldn’t kill the mood but the thought of germs on hands just gave her goosebumps. Malleus didn’t answer her, rather he kissed her forehead before teleporting to somewhere. She was dumbfounded momentarily but soon the sound of water running from her bathroom relaxed her. “Don’t forget the 20 seconds rule!” She yelled out the reminder.

The moment the water stopped running, Malleus appeared on top of her, startling her. “I believe we wasted enough time.” Nat nodded in agreement. She was so distracted by the feeling of his lips on hers that she didn’t realize Malleus vanished their clothing with his magic. “I shall take care of you now.”

Malleus started prepping kisses all over her neck and jaw while his hands traveled to her breasts. When his lips were inches apart from hers, Natalie ran her tongue over his lips slowly, leaning towards him and capturing his bottom lip, biting it lightly as to taunt him. Malleus craved to taste her lips once again, yet he couldn’t forestall his instincts from taking over, his hands found their way to her face, holding her delicately while gazing into her eyes. Since the minx was brave enough to tease him, he didn’t need to hold back. He clashed his lips against hers frantically, their teeth clicking together. Her tongue darted, brushing his fangs before exploring his mouth. He, soon, was swirling his tongue around hers, battling for domination. He was persistent and she was too stubborn to lose, so he resorted to distracting her. His hands left her face, moving back to her perky breasts. 

Malleus’ hands were large enough to cover her each boob, rubbing them gently and his fingers were playing with her pink nipples every time he got a chance. It was too arousing for her as her moan was silenced by the kiss. Malleus took advantage of the opportunity to delve his tongue into her mouth, exploring it with his tongue. 

Natalie was never someone to gave up on the fight, including the bedroom. Two can play the game. Malleus had told her that his horns were sensitive and she was about to find out how sensitive they were. She ranked her nails through his soft hair, moving towards where his horns were connected. Her fingers moved along them softly, she was stoking his horns up and down with her hands. Malleus growled loudly, ending the kiss when it became too much for him. 

Natalie withdrew her hands from his horns, moving to hold his face between her hands. “Oh?” She purred, “Did something happen?” She asked with faux innocence while looking straight into his eyes.

Malleus had a smug smile on his face, “You are lucky I didn’t breath fire.” Nat wasn’t sure if he was joking or not but she didn’t have much time to think about it as Malleus attacked her neck with kisses once again. His kisses became harsher and quicker, covering all over her neck before he moved down to her chest. He captured her nipple with his mouth, sucking it whilst his tongue twirling around the areola while his hand was busy with her left breast. Nat arched her chest and moved her head to the side so his horns wouldn’t his her face all while biting back moans. The warmth and wetness of his tongue were becoming too hard to handle, finally, she moaned breathily. 

Satisfied to hear her reaction, Malleus switched to her left nipple, sucking it as his tongue circled the areola while his hand was messaging the previous breast. Nat tilted her head to the other side for him to move freely. Her breathing became erratic as he worked on her breasts more and more. She jolted when Malleus grazed her breast with his fangs, making her pant ruggedly. She had never been together with someone with fangs and had no one with amazing they would feel against her skin and she was more than happy to experience it with Malleus. She could feel him smirking on her skin, his chuckle confirmed that. 

Malleus was done toying with her chest, making eye contact with her as his fangs slowly grazed her skin from her chest to her groin. Natalie laughed shakily, she was a ticklish person and the way his fangs moved across her body was both tickling and arousing her. Finally, he reached his desired place, he placed his hands on her inner thighs and slowly spread them apart.

“Give me a sec,” Nat whispered, grabbing a small pillow and putting it under her butt to give a better angle to Malleus, winking at him. “Do continue please...”

His only response was kissing her inner thigh. He started from the knee, moving up to her cunt but just before reaching there, he switched to the other thigh, leaving Nat whining. He was kissing every inch until the same spot. She thought since he wouldn’t tease her anymore, oh how wrong she was. This time he was dragging his fangs along her inner thighs, making Nat bite her lips and tremble from the sensation.

After what seemed like an eternity, Malleus started to play with Nat’s wetness. He crawled over her, one hand staying between her legs while the other one was resting near her head, gazing at each other’s eyes. She leaned forward whilst pulling him towards her, giving him a lascivious kiss. He returned with pleasure as his finger entered her cunt, relishing the way she moaned into his mouth. His index finger explored her cunt was exploring her cunt, moving in a circular motion but he didn’t deem it enough. He added a second finger, making her gasp then began to scissor her as his thumb rubbed her clitoris, setting all of her nerves on fire. 

The more minutes passed, the more it became hard for Natalie to restrain herself. She was moaning between the kisses, digging her fingers on Malleus’ shoulder as to get a grip on the reality. Feeling her orgasm coming, her breathing hitched as her vaginal muscles tightened around his fingers. “Malleus…” Her moans mixed with his name as she cummed. 

She was coming down from her high, panting to catch her breath, a divine sight for Malleus, “Do not tell me you are already done, Natalie.” He was wearing a smug look on his face. Two can play the game.

“Why? Is this the best you can do?” Teasing and provoking people was her favorite pass time activity. It was all better when she was doing it to her boyfriend in the bedroom, adding some spice to sex.

His response was chuckling, not uttering any word, he trailed down kisses to her naval region. He slowly licked her slit, devouring her cum and sending shivers through her spine. He made eye contact with her before dipping his tongue into her vagina. Nat arched her back as she grabbed the sheet below. Malleus was moving his tongue in her cunt expertly as his nose was brushing her labia, his fingers were playing with her clit again. Her grip on the sheets was no longer enough, her hand found its way to his hair, raking and pulling the hair between his horns. Her actions just made him ravish her more, his tongue reaching as far as it could touching everywhere it could. Nat couldn’t help her hips but buck her hips against his mouth, his other hand moved to her belly to press her to the mattress as if he was the one in charge during sex.

Natalie wasn’t someone who would let Malleus get away with it. If he prevented her from bucking her hips, she would try to hold back another orgasm from surging, making him work on her more. Malleus must have sensed her defiance as he changed his method. He pulled his tongue back and stopped rubbing her clit, leaving Nat aching for her release. She whined and pouted at him for leaving her wanting - no needing for more. 

Malleus wasn’t a cruel fae, at least towards Natalie, he wouldn’t leave her in this state. He just wanted to observe how she would look when she was desperate for him. He swatted away her hand which was going down her cunt to finish what he started, causing her to pout once more. He would finish what he started, he deemed enough time has passed so he quickly got between her thighs again, licking her cunt, his tongue flickering around her clitoris then delving his tongue into her cunt. Nat was already on the edge of her orgasm, now the stimulation was bringing her closer to her sweet release.

With one last tongue move of his, her toes curled and her muscles tightened again, not even realizing she was pulling his hair. As Natalie cummed, Malleus ate it all up. When he finally withdrew from her groin, he made sure Nat would see him lick his lips. “Divine.”

Natalie’s breathing was erratic, trying to collect herself, balancing herself on her elbows. Her green eyes were taking in him, noticing how hard his cock was. “I guess it is your turn now.” She finally spoke after cooling down.

Malleus lifted her chin to look directly into his eyes. “Tonight was for you.” He crawled on top of her as she laid down on her bed again. His hands slid down her body down to her knees, pulling them towards his waist. Natalie hooked her legs behind his back, going towards his upper body as much as she could. “You better have a condom or you will get me a morning-after pill or potion. We wouldn’t want any surprises, would we?” She noticed his eyebrows knitting together briefly when she said condom but that was a talk for another time.

I should also ask where he practiced that tongue and finger game too.

-------------

Safe sex is the best and it is more than just wearing a condom. It is about preserving your health during sex. BDSM is also safe sex if people take care of safe words. Prep time or foreplay is important for people with vaginas and nails can tear your skin and get an infection. Even without the whole corona situation, don’t put unhygienic stuff to your vagina. Lastly, you can’t learn sex from porn, it is highly unrealistic and they are to show the fantasy. Please research on safe sex before having sex. 

[ask-de-writer]

I need to apologize for my “radio silence” yesterday.

It was one of THOSE days.  You know, where everything is ‘off kilter’ but nothing is a disaster, everything finally gets done.  Just nothing going fully right.

Started night before last.  Got a call for a water haul that is the longest one among my customers.  Sent the money too.  Oh, need to go by a new route because recent rains have badly washed out the old route.  We agreed to meet at a gas station and she will guide me.

All well.  That happens out here in the desert.  Slept pretty well, actually.  Got dressed in fresh clean work clothes (that is part of this, read on!)  Sat to eat breakfast.  Phone goes off.  My shortest haul client wants two loads.  Not bad, really.  I figure, do the long haul, go straight back to town and do those two short hauls.  It is all good money.

Back to breakfast.  Not quite done when in walks my neighbor, whose hauls are always complex things.  Worse than that, he has been trying to sell his place and the people who put down a deposit started dodging him and not answering his calls.  My long haul client lives close to where they are and he really wants to get them.  They made off with a $14,000 USD front loading tractor and have been using it around their area to make about USD $100 a day!

So, he wants to ride out to Long Haul’s place to see if he can get his tractor back!   I accept giving him the ride but it drops a wrench in the works of my route plans.

Finish getting ready for the day and feeding critters.  Hitch up and, ‘High, ho! Tank trailer, on the way!  Got the water for long load and set out. Met at the gas station and away we go!  Her ex,(Who has actually destroyed THREE vehicles of hers on purpose) is driving!  He is a rotten lead driver too.  In spite of that, we do get to her place and begin filling the first tank and some water in her pig troughs.  

Second sideways hit.  She wants water in a barrel  next to an old RV that has a working shower and such.  Her ex has parked her truck where I have to go to back the trailer near enough to fill said barrel.  He moves truck and starts hauling pallets over to the RV.  It has become fill FOUR barrels that aren’t all in place yet!  Organized much? NOT.

That done, I need to to move the trailer to fill other stock tanks on her farm.  She raises pigs and sells the little weanlings.  Guess where her ex put her truck?  Right.  Blocking the easy access to her stock tanks.  I was so steamed that I took the   trailer around by a bit more awkward route and put the last of the water where it belonged.  

Couldn’t quite leave.  Suddenly the ones who were trying to buy my neighbor’s land and took his tractor?  Those folks?  They called him!  Seems a Sheriff’s Deputy came by their place about the tractor!  Unpleasant call results in a promise to return the tractor and cancellation of the sale.

Finally, later than planned, we are on our way back to my place instead of town.  My neighbor has to get his truck that is parked at my place!   Along the way, there is one nasty mud hole.  No water left, thank whatever little gods there be.

It has two VERY deep ruts.  The trick has always been to drive on the center and one shoulder.  My trailer slipped off the shoulder and into the ruts, dragging us with it!   Only a few feet further and we were stuck!  

First thing to do was dig out  the safety chains and release them from the truck.  Next, release the hitch.  Unlocking it from the ball?  No problem.  Gotta lift the  trailer tongue about 6 or 8 inches (about 20 cm for those with a rational measure system) to get it free of the hitch on the truck.

Only took a few back and forth rocks of the truck to get going and out to solid ground.  Dug out my 50 foot (about 15 meters) tow strap and tied it to the trailer tongue and the hitch on the truck.   Freed the trailer in one pull!   Now, ALL WE GOTTA DO IS get the trailer hitch onto the truck’s ball.  First, made sure that the trailer was not going to roll back into the mud!

Got it raised by putting enough old boards and scrap steel from a previous trailer rebuild under the jack.  Had to support it part way up with a jack stand so that we could pile the stuff under the jack to get the final height.  Jockeyed the truck into place, released the jack and the tongue did not drop!  Forgot the jack stand!  Jacked it back up the tiny bit needed and pulled out the jack stand.  Then it dropped properly.  Locked the hitch and set the safety chains and we were on our way!

Got to my place.  Neighbor wanted me to haul water for two t rees on his place.   new locks.  Gave me keys and money.  Neighbor got his truck and I blasted off for town!  Got that  water haul done without a hitch, except that it was getting LATE.  My trailer is an agricultural one.  Daylight use only.  Called a friend.  Bummed parking over night for the trailer in exchange for dinner out and a shower.  Remember that mud hole?  My fresh clean work clothes?  Not any more!  

One shower and another set of clean work clothes later, (luckily, my laundry was still in the truck) we set out.  Usually good Pizza place said 10 to 10 on the door.  Neon OPEN sign on and flashing.  It was only 9.  Doors locked.  We can see the whole crew inside.  Called them.  We can see them pick up.  Pointed out their  signs and facebook ad saying open.  They close early because of no customers they said.  We pointed out that there were two at their door!   While we were there two more cars drove up and drove away.  So did we.  My friend left a bad review saying good pizza, rotten service

Tried a different place a few miles away.   Go in.  Waitress says, bar open, kitchen closed.   Finally, we try Denny’s.  It is 9:24 pm.   Sign on 24 hour restaurant says they will close at 10;30!  FOOD AT LAST!

Friend otders breaded chicken.  I want the pot roast bowl.  No problem about the chicken.  They have the meat and gravy but are out of the veggies.  Ask if I can have a side veggie at no charge.  Fine. Got Broccoli.

Chicken was a bit overdone but not quite burned.  Pot roast was good with broccoli.  Went to pay.  Charged full pot roast price and full price for broccoli and mash potatoes that they put under it!  Steamed.   Left very small tip.

Back to friend’s place dropped trailer and came home.  At 11:54pm!

Today all seemed swimmingly.  Breakfast.  Charge into town!  Got trailer!   Got water!  Drove out to Neighbor’s place!   Couldn’t get in!  Wrong key!  Would not work in either gate’s lock.  Cannot get up  the hill to my place with a full load of water.  To save any of his water, I had to just dump about 300-400 gallons! (about 1500 liters).  It is beside my house waiting for Neighbor to answer his phone.  I did leave a message.

I hope that your days are being better than mine

[l8rhader]

Post (well, sometime before the time jump to the airport before their wedding  which I would argue still hasn’t happened even though it WAS SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE 6 MONTHS AGO BUT LET'S JUST IGNORE THAT PART LOLOLOL so let’s call this October in the timeline of-) come out of the things unsaid  my Adult Reddie, quarantine, Tik Tok AU.

Addition based on this video!!

Eddie sat curled in the corner of the couch, a glass of wine curled between his fingers. He stared at the phone in his other hand as though it offended 6 lines of his lineage. Well, no, like it had offended 6 of his closest friends. He kept trying to type out witty responses, but after looking at the profile attached to the laundry list of degrading comments, it was clear that the user was... young. Very young. Like, younger than the T&C's young but, come to think of it, he wasn't sure they'd mentioned an age. But after an hour of comment after comment on his videos, the latest series being him teaching Richie how to play piano (despite how rusty his skill set had been) and Richie teaching him how to play guitar (even if most of those videos were cut short because Eddie couldn't keep his hands to himself). Most people thought it was cute.

Except 69LonnyTheLiger420.

By the time Richie came out of the bedroom, he was in the worst mood. "What it do, baby boo?" he said, dropping into the couch beside him and wrapping his arm around Eddie’s back. No response. Dejected, Richie leaned in closer and tried again. "What's the hap, cap?" He nudged Eddie’s cheek with his nose, finally startling him into reality with a high pitched hum. "I said, What's the tea, sweet pea?" Eddie crinkled his nose and shook his head, dismissing yet another nickname. "Do you not love me anymore?" he laughed, knowing that clearly wasn't the case, but something was definitely off. "Eds, what's up?" His eyes searched Eddie's for a moment before the notification noise for Tik Tok went off. Richie snatched the phone and opened it, frowning at Eddie’s notifications.

"Give it back. It's nothing. It's-"

Eyes wide, Richie fought down the decades old urge to flee. Instead, he hissed out, "Christ, babe. Does this happen a lot?"

Eddie shrugged. He supposed it happened fairly often. They were gay and happy and unapologetic and rubbing their new love in the face of millions of followers. It made sense, to an extent. This particular batch was just a lot.

Shaking his head, Richie tugged Eddie up by the hand. "No more phone,” he said, guiding him up the hallway toward their bedroom.  Eddie made an exaggerated reach for it and Richie, instead leaned over, sweeping him into a fireman’s carry.  “No more phone.”  He shoved the device down into his pocket before slapping Eddie’s ass and eliciting a yelp in response.

“Put me down, jackass.  I’m a grown man.  I can wa-”

“Grown is an exaggerated term, toots,” he joked, navigating the hall with ease, despite his fiance kicking his feet and pounding his fists, calling him all sorts of creative names that thirteen year old never could have come up with.  He tossed Eddie down on the bed and pounced on him.  “I don’t know if you remember, but we literally bullied a space oddity to death.  I think we are uniquely qualified for a response to this little shithead.”

With his hands on either side of Richie’s neck and his bony knees dug in just above his hips, he dumped Richie on to his side.  “I think that it’s a little kid and it’s not worth, I don’t know, screaming at him in the middle of a Chinese restaurant.”

Feigning offense, Richie whimpered “That was ONE time, and,” he pushed his glasses back up onto his nose, adding “AND that’s something I only reserve for fans when I’m under emotional duress.  This wretched little crotch goblin is clearly not a fan of either of ours so an emotional outburst is far above them.”

Eddie closed his eyes and shook his head, pulling Richie in for a kiss.  “I love you, but just let it go.  It’s not worth it.”

“You’re upset, babe,” he said, landing on the one nickname that Eddie never fought him on because he was too busy fighting off the butterflies swarming in his belly when he said it to actually argue.  “That means it’s worth it to me.”  The corner of his mouth twitched up into a smile seeing Eddie’s resolve falter.  “You’re worth it all.”

The next morning, the video Eddie posted didn’t feature him at all.  Instead, it was five of 69LonnyTheLiger420′s least creative jabs, mainly mentioning their ages and their sexuality, floating around Richie’s head as he sat at the keyboard in the room that belonged to Eddie months and months of quarantine prior.  “You’re prob’ly just a kid in middle school and I don’t wanna fight a kid in middle school,” he crooned, accompanying himself with easy chords.  “Instead of fighting kids in middle school,” he leaned into the camera like he had a secret, then smiled.  “I’m gonna fuck your mom!  I’m gonna fuck your mom.  I’m gonna fuck your mom.”  He bopped back and forth, looking slightly reminiscent of a character from Peanuts.  “Don’t be such a saddie ‘cuz you got a new Daddy,” he added with a cheeky wink, “I’ll help you find a suit to prom.”  He dragged his middle finger up the keys dramatically in a fairly effective glissando.  “But, fuck with me and I will fuck your mom.”  He raised his eyebrows and gave a little half-hearted salute. 

Eddie swung the door open, then leaned against the doorframe looking at his fiance.  “Please don’t go the Burnham route.  I’m already sick of the people who compare you to Mulaney.”

“Why?  They’re good guys.  I don’t min-”

With a pointed stare, Eddie folded his arms.  “But you’re Richie Tozier.  You’re funny on your own.  You don’t need anyone else’s schtick.”  

Richie batted his eyes and smiled through pursed lips.  “You think I’m funny?” he cooed.  He may have played it up for Eddie’s consumption, but it still made him flutter when he actually admitted it.

Sticking his hand out and grabbing his phone to edit the video, “Come on, they put the final season of Schitt’s Creek up early so I am down for a rewatch,” he called from the hallway.  “At least I didn’t make you propose to yourself.  I love Patrick and all, but-”

”I proposed to you!  Twice!” he said, still blushing as he stood from the tiny collapsible piano bench.  “And does that mean you think you’re Patrick in this equation?  Because, baby,” he said, finally bounding into the living room, “apart from my eyebrow game, the kinship to the drinking of all wines, your startlingly similar boring fashion and comparative petite-ness,” Richie wagged his finger then swiped the remote from under the TV, “you are judgy, neurotic and,” he added quickly, “simply the best.”  He plopped down next to Eddie and wrapped him in his arms, kissing his neck.  “You are 100% the David here.”

They settled in for their binge watching.  Eddie’s phone dinged a few times, notifying them that the Losers were on the case, now.  Bill and Mike responded with a video of their own using the Pas de Deux from Us sporting matching unimpressed looks as they both tossed rocks from their garden idly in time with the music with the caption “Sticks and stones...”  It was basically nonthreatening, if maybe a little ominous, unless anyone seeing the video knew the Losers and their history with bullies, which they surely doubted.  A duet from Bev and Ben, flatly responding Beep Beep came next.  Finally, Stan’s response was of himself and Patty on the couch.  She was looking at her phone confused, Richie’s song audible in the background, finishing the loop and restarting.  “I think at this point the Mom jokes should be retired, Rich.  Eddie’s going to start getting jealous if all these little assholes start calling you Daddy, too,” he said, smirking at the screen as Patty chastised him from off-camera.  

Richie smiled, watching the responses over Eddie’s shoulder between episodes.  Even though momentary clips of the Losers were nice- it was better than nothing- Eddie really fucking missed them.  At least he knew that they’d always have his back.