#if i at least had the energy to keep creating my own content to keep myself entertained i would be fine honestly
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munch-mumbles · 1 year ago
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booooo vent in tags BOOOOO TOMATO TOMATO
#feeling very frustrated with how bad i am at being a person#like i just do not have the energy to survive#nothing can hold my attention anymore and its fucking with my desire to create anything#and thats not even in like a 'i need to make something to be worth something' way its more#'holy fucking christ im so fucking bored every day all the time forever' way#im also realizing that i fucking suck genuine ass at just talking to people#i dont know what to say in conversation. like im just fucking stupid#i have a small list of preloaded responses and if none of them fit what was said to me i STRUGGLE#i didnt always feel like this but im decaying#if more than two different people dm me in a day thats a whole Event#had something i wanted to say but got dsitracted for a second and immediately lost my train of thought loollll (gritted teeth)#whatever tldr im lonely but im too 2 dimensional of a person to know how to make friends anymore#i WANT to talk to people but talking has become exhausting and i dont know how to get better#if i at least had the energy to keep creating my own content to keep myself entertained i would be fine honestly#but i cant have anything so even thinking about the characters that i love feels like something i have to force myself to do#and still struggle with because i cant pay attention to jack shit#i like to think that maybe i just need to be medicated for something. probably adhd. and then ill be all better and happy#but 1 money 2 time 3 effort 4 what if it doesnt work#yeah time and effort sounds like little bitch shit and yeah it is but im not exaggerating when i say i have no energy#sorry the tags on this are getting so long i keep coming back to add more so i dont bug anyone with a new post#i just. i dont know what to do. im consistently unhappy every day and it keeps getting worse#if i wasnt scared to die i wouldve ended it months ago
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i-drop-level-one-loot · 1 year ago
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*NSFW* The mating habits of Yandere! Animal-Human Monsters
Yandere!Monster men who sometimes forget that their poor darling is a human and misinterprets their actions when it comes to mating. Short drabbles about yanderes trying to seduce their darlings, but the list gets progressively darker the further down you read.
*Warning* dub-con, non-con, yandere possessiveness, dead dove
Yandere!Crow Harpy who was a little disappointed when you refused to move out of your house. You didn't understand why the feathered man seemed so infatuated with you, but after a long while of him begging you to move in with him you agreed, only on the condition that he moved into your home. It wasn't a traditional harpy relationship, but he was ecstatic regardless, deciding that if he couldn't build a nest with you he could at least win your favor as a perfect mate by decorating it. It got on your nerves sometimes, coming home from work to find shiny bits of trash and feathers tucked into every nook and cranny of your home. Eventually the two of you created a list of acceptable "treasure" to bring home, and what you considered to be actual garbage. He spent weeks "decorating" your already furnished house, before one day pulling you into the living room where he had piled every blanket and pillow you owned into a makeshift nest on the floor. His smile was insecure, desperate for your approval as he wrapped you into his large wings, holding you tightly against his warm body before sinking down into the mass of fluffy objects. You could hear his heart hammering against his chest erratically as he gently began placing kisses against your collar.
"I wanted to help build a home with you, so it wasn't yours or mine, but ours. I pray that my attempts to prove I'll keep you and our future children comfortable impressed you..."
Yandere!Merman who couldn't help but feel awestruck by your beauty, often going on long rants about how much you inspire him. It was a chance encounter while you were studying abroad, and you grew emotionally attached to the beautiful man who sang you words of praise. Although he whined whenever you had to leave the beach, the bags under his eyes became deeper as the weeks went on, chronic exhaustion taking it's toll on the merman. Whenever you tried to convince him that his sleep was important, he would only give a dopey smile, responding cryptically about how his secret project was just as important as spending time with you, and that he would have time to sleep once it was all over. One day when you arrived on the beach he was already there, shaking with excitement and impatiently trying to drag you into the ocean before you could get on your snorkeling gear. Deep where the sun barely touched, a huge intricate mural was sculpted into the ocean floor. As your eyes widened in an attempt to take in just how massive the artwork was, following each perfectly symmetrical swirl, two strong arms snaked around your waist with a tired, yet content, sigh. He blew words into your ear that you were somehow able to understand despite the water, as he sunk with you into the middle of the circular masterpiece.
"You take my breath away every time we meet, and I wanted to do the same for you. Please say that, if you could, you would lie here in my arms forever.."
Yandere!Puppy-Hybrid who was always just a ball of energy, a hyperactive sweet heart who couldn't sit still when he was awake. Most of your days together, it was easy to forget that he could even have urges, with how innocent your relationship was, kisses and cuddles but nothing more. As a species who had mating cycles, although he would never tell you out loud, he was always waiting for you to go into heat. But it was taking so long! He did such a good job being a patient boy for you, you didn't even know why he was being so whiny lately, attributing his neediness to his attention seeking personality. But eventually, he took your phone to do some research. At first he was shocked, humans didn't have mating cycles?? How did you know when it was time to make a baby? Then he came across an amazing discovery. Ovulation. It took a couple of months, holding your belly to his face and breathing deeply for a couple of minutes each day, but he finally learned the subtle changes in your scent throughout your cycle. You had no idea what was going on, thinking he was just being extra goofy lately, until he refused to let go one day, tightening his grasp as his breathing turned into heavy pants, grinding your leg in between his.
"Ah.. you can't hide it from me.. I've been waiting for this for so long... Please don't say no..."
Yandere!Humanoid Spider who always did his best to never frighten you. Even when you first met, it was with him holding his hands up and pleading for you not to run away from him in a soothing voice. Despite the lower half of the creature you met in the forest being a giant spider, the top half was such a kind and handsome man that you quickly began to trust him, soon considering him to be a good friend. He was so thoughtful, always raising his hands as a show of surrender, whether he was approaching you from afar and didn't want to startle you or if you were jokingly fighting over something silly. Even amongst humans, he was the one you trusted the most. If you had known anything about spiders though, you would have been more on guard with his overt displays of feebleness, especially after he began telling you how beautiful you were. You didn't even fight back at first when he suddenly grabbed you from, until he bit into your neck. The kind man, no, the monster you thought you knew, wasted no time sliding your pants down as he still held your backside to his chest, chuckling into your shoulder.
"Ah, my stupid little human~ Were you just pretending to be that naive because you wanted me to take you? ❤️"
Yandere!Naga who couldn't feel love in the same way that humans did. As a researcher working towards her doctorate specializing in Naga people and their many sub species, you were overjoyed to meet a small tribe of Naga men who were willing to allow you to enter their home and record their daily lives. There were so many types of Nagas loosely related to snake species still alive today, and they each had their own cultures, languages, and biology. Based on the coloration you couldn't tell what type these men were, but despite not being fluent in their language they were very kind to you. They seemed to have been in a period of mourning before you arrived, and lavished all their attention on you, babbling on in one sided conversations you could only understand a few words of here and there. One phrase they all stated was flattering only for the first few times they repeated it, but quickly became unnerving as they became more comfortable caressing your face and running their fingers through your hair. And when they pulled you into the center of a giant nest, taking turns thrusting their long tongues down your throat and running their hands over your body, trapping you in a pile of cold men staring deep into your soul with hungry eyes, you learned the species they were closest to.
"We need you... We need you..."
Yandere!Humanoid Scorpion who rescued you after a tourist attraction went arry, promising to protect you until you could be rescued. A strong, bulky man who enjoyed holding you (almost too tightly) in his arms whenever his peers came near. Everything was honestly lovely until in the black of night you were awoken by a strange chorus of sounds echoing outside the burrow the hybrids allowed you to sleep in. A blue light illuminated the large home, and as it noticed you finally woke, approached, revealing himself to be the scorpion man who rescued you, glowing with bioluminescence. Before you could ask what was happening, fear struck you like a bolt of lightening seeing a large, inhuman cock emerging from just below his human half. He lunged forward, and you threw up your hands in self defence. Your hands intertwined with his, fighting against him with all of your strength, but the harder you fought, the more excited he grew. You pushed and pulled, but he didn't loosen his hold on you. Eventually it seemed he had enough playing, and threw you effortlessly onto the bed. Tears streamed down your face at your helplessness, but this only widened his smile as he peeled the shirt off your sweaty body.
"There is no need to fear, my mate. As you can see, no one can match my strength. You and our brood shall be safe under my protection.."
Yandere!Humanoid Waterbug disgusted you, from the twitch of his antenna to the flirtatiousness of his voice. The moment you met him on the water of your lake house, there was no escape. Every time you left or returned back home he was effortlessly skating across the waters surface towards you, begging you to come closer. Although you did your best to ignore him, his loud cries for attention eventually wore you down. Maybe if you entertained him just this once he would leave you alone? You approached him calmly, but as soon as you were within reach he grasped your hands tightly, pulling you partially into the water. He spoke sickly sweet words of affection, chilling you more painfully than the cold morning lake water. You tried to turn him down politely, gently pulling at his grip. He pulled you into the water further, swiftly pushing the two of you away from the shore in one kick of his legs, his unamused gaze no longer holding the playful, flirty gleam it had before. One set of hands held yours tightly, while another pair grabbed your head shoving it without warning under the water. You struggled against his grasp, rapidly losing oxygen as you panicked, black spots filling your vision. But before you lost consciousnesses, he brought you back up, still staring into your eyes with cold fury as your lungs felt like they caught fire. He confessed his love again, but when you began sobbing he thrust you face forward into the water again with a painful smack, holding you down beneath him until stopped struggling. In the air once more, snot flowed and mixed freely with your tears as he aggressively smashed his face into yours, fishing out your tongue and biting it harshly.
"There's only one correct answer to my question, (Reader).. Be mine, or die. If I can't have you, then no one can."
Yandere!Marsupial Hybrid you never saw coming. Lost in the Australian outback, you cursed yourself and your impossibly terrible luck. Hybrids and monsters freely roaming the world were terrifying enough, but being in the land where even the greenery was planted by Satan himself? Your phone had lost it's signal about two hours ago, and your jeep died shortly after that. Trudging along by foot, you continuously felt eyes following your every step, and the fear that a giant spider or monster snake was stalking you made you cry for hours as you walked under the merciless sun. On top of the heat and new blisters forming on your soles, you had to use a restroom as well. Quickly surveying the tall bushes to make sure you weren't about to go next to one of Satan's previously mentioned bushes, you pulled down your shorts in discomfort. The feeling of eyes on you hadn't left since your vehicle randomly gave out despite being double checked before you left the city, but your bladder couldn't care at that moment. A rustle nearby ended your attempt to go before it started, pulling up your shorts so fast it hurt. A hybrid with round ears and a lung brown tail with white spots charged into you, knocking you down. His face was red and slick with tears and sweat, his eyes wide and frantic as he latched his sharp teeth into your neck with excitement. Everything was so fast, with his alternating between feverish rambling and biting into whatever part of your flesh he could reach as he tore off your clothes with a desperation you couldn't comprehend. Tears blended with your own as he kissed, licked and bit every piece of you as he fought your legs open, ignoring your screams of pain.
"You accepted me didn't you?! You knew I chose you! Ah, it hurts! Why'd you put your clothes back o-ah! I need you, I need you now!"
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mayaree-darling · 1 year ago
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Water... Connoisseur?// Neuvillette
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synopsis: Neuvillette shares his love for water tasting with the Creator (ft. Paimon and the Traveler)
from aree: this was supposed to be a short funny little thing but as always i can’t keep my mouth shut and now this is 17 pages long
content: Creator!Reader; smol spoiler(?) for and inspired by Neuvillette's story quest and profile/voice over; Reader and the Traveler (and Paimon) have Siblings Energy; I headcanon that the Traveler can see their inventory the way us players can; Pure Crack; Probably OOC Neuvillette
fic length: ~5.3k 
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You are the Creator of Teyvat, spending time with the Traveler, Paimon, and Neuvillette. At one point, the Iudex offers for the four of you to take a break in his office and he'll fetch you some refreshments. Almost immediately, you see from the corner of your eye the Traveler and Paimon stutter out that they'll get the drinks themselves, but it's too late. You didn't see what was wrong with Neuvillette offering something to drink - if anything, you're curious to know what kind of drink he'd prepare for his guests. This was your first time tasting what Fontaine had to offer. So you let him go. 
When Neuvillette leaves the room, the traveling duo beside you share a heavy sigh. You turn to them and ask what's wrong. They share a meaningful look. You'll see, they say.
Eventually, Neuvillette comes back rolling a small food trolley in front of him. On top are four silver pitchers and four goblets. Paimon sheepishly laughs, "Here we go."
You step forward - because it's clear to you Traveler and Paimon have no plans on taking initiative - and Neuvillette motions to the pitchers. 
"Each one is from a different nation. I hope that you'll find at least one of them to your tastes, Your Grace. I assure you they are all of high quality, although I have no doubt of it since they are a part of your creation, after all. Personally, I can't say I favor one over the other. I find each one particularly special in its own way, so I must apologize if I cannot give you a recommendation." 
You frown. You... made them? You don't remember something about creating a drink for each nation. Was this a recipe from your old life that only a dragon sovereign could remember? The Traveler clears their throat and mumbles something under their breath. You turn to them questioningly and you watch bemused as their mouth ticks up at the corners.
"It's water." The Traveler looks at everything in the room before their eyes land on you.
You blink. "Excuse me?"
"Haha.. It's just water... The drinks..." If Paimon was standing on solid ground, you think she would be bouncing on the balls of her feet, her arms behind her. When she meets your eyes, she lets out a sheepish laugh. "That's what Neuvillette means by they're from every nation. They're... spring water from different places."
You slowly look at the Traveler and Paimon in turn, hoping for a deeper explanation or for them to tell you they were pulling your leg, but both of them refuse to look you in the eye. Your mouth is opened to a permanent gasp of understanding as you turn back to the food trolley in front of you.
Oh...
"Is there something wrong, Your Grace?" You almost regret looking at Neuvillette. Although he doesn't usually show his emotions, it's almost like he can't help but show you how dejected he looks. To put it simply, it felt like you kicked an otter to the curb, sad puppy eyes and everything. You half expect it to start raining outside that instant. "I can arrange for the Melusine to make something else, if you'd like. I'm sure they'd be honored to -"
"NO! No. It's okay. It's fine, Neuvillette. Thank you for the offer, but it's fine." You shoot a frown at the duo, who have taken to plastering themselves on one of the many sofas in the room, intent on letting you handle the water situation. You breathe in and take a step forward, taking one of the goblets. "You said each one is special, right? I'm sure they'll taste... nice..."
You pointedly ignore the Traveler as they grumble once more (you pretend you didn't just hear Paimon say "no it won't"). You look at each of the pitchers and pretend to be thinking hard about your choice. It's kind of hard to make a choice now that you know they're all just water. Your only saving grace is you know where they came from.
"I think I'll start off with... Sumeru!" Neuvillette all but beams at your decision and picks up the selected pitcher. You're glad he did because you didn't know which was which. You pray to Nahida that you didn't make a bad choice (the God of Wisdom has yet to fail you since your descent and you hope that she has your back this time, too.) Holding out your goblet, you watch as Neuvillette fills the cup half way, almost hoping there's a telltale sign of a difference (or it's a different drink altogether).
It's just water.
"A wonderful choice, Your Grace. This particular water comes from Apam Woods of Sumeru. You'll find the taste to be rich and complex. Despite usually having to take the time to savor it to fully appreciate it, I'm sure Your Grace will have no problem distinguishing its special flavor, which is unlike any other."
Did he have to put the pressure on you like that? 
You laugh sheepishly as you fight to give Neuvillette your best thankful smile. Taking back the goblet, you stare at your drink, deciding your best bet was to examine it if you were going to "savor" it. Maybe it was a different color? No, it's still translucent in nature. Swirling it a few times, it doesn't appear to have a thicker viscosity as it sloshes around your cup. As for the smell it was- 
Wait. Huh?
"It's fragrant," you mumble. Only when you hear yourself clearly do you realize the room is silent. Looking up, you see Neuvillette staring at you, and behind you, even the Traveler and Paimon have taken an interest in your exchange. All eyes are trained on you, watching your reaction. You look back to Neuvillette as he lets out a hum.
"It's... fragrant? I must say, even I have never thought to discern its smell. For a moment, please," Neuvillette steps forward and takes a goblet for himself, pouring water from the same pitcher. He pulls the goblet up to his nose. "Hmm. As I thought. It seems I am unable to smell this fragrance you speak of. How interesting."
"Wait. If you can smell it..." You turn to Paimon as she looks at the Traveler. When they look at you, their eyes are expectant.
Surely, you can...?
Looking at Neuvillette, he gives you an encouraging nod. You raise the goblet to your lips and take a tentative sip. And then another. And then... another? You lower the goblet, and then turn to the Traveler.
"It tastes like flowers." You know you and the Traveler share the same incredulous look. You can just feel the disbelief and confusion pulling at your face. Looking at Paimon, she's just as confused, head in her little hands. "When I focus on it, it's floral. Kind of like... tea? Like herbal tea, just less strong. It could even be perfume."
"Marvelous," you look at Neuvillette, and it's clear to you he does not sense the growing bewilderment you and the other two are going through. He smiles at you softly, and you don't have the heart to tell him that water isn't supposed to have a flavor. "I don't seem to recall anyone else sharing my taste for water. But I must say - even I am unable to perfectly put a name or a description to the flavor I experience. It's almost always a feeling."
"WAIT! Waitwaitwaitwait! I wanna try, too!" Paimon rushes to your side and takes your goblet in her hands, ready to drink it. You hear Neuvillette clear his throat and turn to him as he fills the other two goblets with Sumeru water. Paimon lets go of your goblet and goes to take one for herself. You see the Traveller stand up and grab one too. "Is it different from the one we had before? Wait, but it's from the Apam Woods, too..."
The Traveler and Paimon take a big gulp at the same time, licking their lips and savoring the taste before eventually they click their tongues in unison.
"Nope." The Traveler laughs, almost amused and defeated at the same time.
"Nothing's different. It's the same water as last time!" Paimon stomps her little feet in the air. "Are you pulling Paimon's leg?"
"Of course not. However, I am curious. If it is fine with Your Grace, I would love to hear more about what you can taste," If you were honest, you didn't want any more of the spotlight on you - being the Creator, you've had enough of that. But Neuvillette seemed so happy in the moment you couldn't possibly refuse him. 
"Well, besides smelling and tasting like flowers," you take a sip, letting it roll on your tongue. "It also has this sort of herby aftertaste? But only when I focus on it. Kind of like basils? Or rosemary? I can't tell you for sure what kind, but it kind of tastes like that."
When you turn back to them, you're surprised to see Neuvillette looking at you in confusion. Did you say something wrong?
"He doesn't know what those are, dummy," The Traveler sighs. You watch as they take a metal shaker out from their inventory and start preparing a drink of their own. Paimon watches on, excited of drinking something that wasn't just water. "They don't have those here in Teyvat, remember?"
"Traveler, I implore you to watch your words. Was it necessary to call Your Grace as such?" Neuvillette frowns. 
The Traveler shrugs and you both share a secretive smile. "They prefer that over 'Your Grace', though."
Neuvillette turns to you with concern. "Is-is that true, Your Grace? Why would you prefer that name? I can't quite say I agree with that decision but- "
"It's fine, Neuvillette. I forgot you didn't know any of those herbs, so I'm sorry for that. Just know the water tastes like it has a bit of herbs or spice to it." You shake your head with a laugh, thinking of a way to change the subject. "Anyway, can I taste the other ones?"
Neuvillette almost visibly lights up at that and takes another of the pitchers, filling your emptied goblet with more water.
"This one is from Inazuma's Konda Village. For its mouthfeel, I find it quite placid." Neuvillette looks at you expectantly. You're reminded again of a puppy, or in his case, an otter. A very cute otter. As you put the goblet to your lips, you have half a mind to gift him a seashell.
You take a sip and almost immediately spit it out. In an instant, Neuvillette is by your side, throwing the goblet halfway across the room. Before you realize it, you're in his arms and he has half a mind to bolt out the room to get you to a healer until you stop him.
"WAIT! Wait, Neuvi, just calm down-" you descend into a coughing fit.
"Your Grace! What's wrong? Is it poison? Were you poisoned?! Oh no, Paimon can't look-" 
"That's preposterous. I prepared the drinks myself," he says that, but Neuvillette talks like he's suddenly doubting himself. 
"You sure you don't need to get healed?" the Traveler frowns in concern, turning your face this way and that, looking for signs of poisoning.
You shake your head again and swallow down another cough, clearing your throat. "No, no, I don't need a healer. I wasn't poisoned. I just wasn't expecting to suddenly take a shot of sparkling water." 
The Traveler blinks, there's a pause as it sinks in, and suddenly they stand up and head back to the food trolley. They pick up the shaker they unceremoniously left when everyone panicked and resumed making their drink.
"Traveler, are you gonna make medicine for the Creator?" Paimon floats around you in concern. 
"You guys can stop panicking. They're not gonna die," the Traveler sighs and looks at you with a face that can only be described as 'Are you for reals.' "I think they were just surprised with how the water tasted."
You motion for Neuvillette to let you down, which he does albeit very hesitantly. You merely laugh at the concern on his face and give him a pat on the back to reassure him that no, the Creator was not going to die on his watch just because of a bad drink of water. 
The Iudex frowns hard looking at the pitcher of Inazuman water. "You called it... sparkling water? Pardon me if I'm wrong, but am I to assume water from Inazuma has different visual properties? Does Your Grace see something we are unable to? And if so, does this difference have an effect on the taste?" 
You shake your head again for what seemed like the thousandth time, before you stop and think about it for a second. You head to the food trolley and pick up Paimon's empty cup. Pouring Inazuman water from the pitcher, you watch as normal looking water fills the goblet. The normal fizzle of bubbles you expect from a carbonated drink is not present, even as you swirl it around. 
Before Neuvillette can stop you, you take a sip of it again. You hear him stifle a gasp. His hand is on your shoulder, ready to bring you to Sigewinne at record speed if needed. But you weren't mistaken - it really does taste like sparkling water. Weird. You turn to Neuvillette and try to look as reassuring as possible.
"So, back from... where I came from, we have this drink called sparkling water. It's not that it was particularly, uh, sparkly, but it did have a lot of bubbles. The water from Inazuma here looks like regular water, but it does feel like sparkling water in your mouth," you explain slowly. The look of doubt doesn't leave Neuvillete's face. "It's also not deadly for us, just like how this water isn't. I mean, you like drinking it, right? That means it's fine for consumption." 
He visibly eases up at your words. He reluctantly lets go of your shoulder with a shaky exhale. You kinda feel bad for making him so worried. Eventually, you watch as he calms down from the panic earlier and suddenly he's back to his stoic self, unable to resist his interest in your water tasting experience.
"So this so-called sparkling water... what does it feel like? May you explain? I'm afraid I cannot quite imagine it." Neuvillette looks to be deep in thought and you laugh softly. He really was into water tasting. 
"Oh? Paimon thinks Mondstadt has something similar."
The Traveler pauses from taking a sip of their new drink - Boreal Watch, you remember it's called - before opening their inventory. They scroll through a list of ingredients before taking out a single bottle. The bubbling liquid is a familiar sight. "They call it Fizzy Water. I used it to make drinks at Angel's Share once. Feel free to drink this, Monsieur Neuvillette. Master Diluc gave it as a freebie."
Neuvillette takes the bottle with a nod of thanks. He examines the packaging for a moment, pops the bottle open and takes a swig. There's a pregnant pause before he turns his back to you, takes his goblet and spits out the drink into it out of your line of sight. The three of you don't have to look at each other to know the expression the others have; Paimon sounds like she's close to tears from holding in her laughter. 
When Neuvillette turns to you again, you give him a small smile, ready to comfort him, before he drops to his knee in front of you. You try to pull him up by his arms but he just holds on to your hands.
"Your Grace, please allow me to apologize for making you go through that."
"H-hey, I didn't mind you literally spitting it out, come on now, I basically did the same thing if not worse-"
"No. Not that, Your Grace. I also apologize for that, yes, but I refused to swallow that drink down no matter the cost." He's staring at you dead in the eyes and he looked so serious it was unnerving. "I'm apologizing for letting you drink the water from Inazuma. Had I known that is what you would experience, I would have skipped offering it to you as a refreshment." 
"Please stand up. Don't worry about it. It's not that big of a deal," you pull on his arms again and he doesn't resist, standing back up. "I told you it's a normal drink from where I'm from, right? I was just shocked because I wasn't expecting it."
"Do you mean..." Neuvillette visibly cringes, much to your amusement. "People from your old land... like? To drink it? How... eccentric."
"So do those from Mondstadt, Monsieur Neuvillette," you turn to the Traveler in disbelief that they'd say that right now, but all they give you back is a devious grin peeking from atop their cup as they take another sip. "Dawning Dew was a bestseller."
Paimon clears her throat as she collects herself. "It's kind of funny that Neuvillette can't feel the fizziness when he's drinking? He said that he can feel what he drinks, not taste it. Paimon wonders what's up with that."
"What's Konda Village water like for you, again?" you hum.
"If I had to put a word to it," Neuvillette thought about it for a second. "Placid."
"Placid? That's one way to describe something." Paimon shrugs. 
"Yes, that was how I would have described it," Neuvillette shoots a glare at the bottle of Fizzy Water and another concerned look at you. "After current events, I can't quite say the same."
Paimon was right, though. Placid was definitely a different way of describing things. Placid meant... calm? Or tranquil? You definitely didn't think that's how you'd describe Inazuma. Wait, Inazuma? And that feeling of sparkling water...
"Is it possible... You think it's 'placid'... because your mouth has gone numb?" you gape at Neuvillette.
He stares back at you blankly. The silence in the room is deafening. 
“Maybe… don’t drink that for a while. Not until you’re ready again,” you offer.
“Agreed.” Neuvillette nods stiffly. 
“Alright!” you clap your hands and turn back to the food trolley. “What’s next?” 
To your surprise, Neuvillette’s hand wraps around your wrist as you manage to grasp the next pitcher's handle. He looks just as surprised as you do that he’s holding on to you. 
“Neuvi…llette?” you blink at him.
“Forgive me, Your Grace,” he lets go like he was burned, but he doesn’t exactly move away. “But we can stop here if you so wish.” 
“What do you mean?”
“What I mean to say is,” Neuvillette coughs into his fist, thinking hard about his next words. “Although I wish to learn more about the different tastes Your Grace can experience, I must admit I am unable to guide you nor accompany you in your journey, per say. Should there be something wrong with the following water samples, I can only watch and listen like the others, but not help until much later.”
You nod slowly. 
“It means he’s concerned, dummy,” a voice calls out from behind you and you roll your eyes.
“Yeah, I kind of got that, thanks for the heads up,” you groan.
“If I am honest,” Neuvillette’s voice is soft, you’d even be confident to say it’s like he only wants you to hear. “I feel like a scientist watching my latest test subject. Fascinated, and yet should a problem arise, useless.”
“Hey, don’t say that,” you frown at him, but the expression easily slides off your face when he faces you (damn those sad otter eyes). Eventually, you offer him a soft smile. “If I really considered this as life threatening as you think, I would have stopped after the first pitcher. But I’m genuinely having fun, alright? So don’t worry too much about it.”
He doesn’t look quite convinced. You have been telling him to calm down a lot this entire time. When he opens his mouth to dissuade you, you beat him to it.
“I should thank you, you know.”
“Excuse me?” Neuvillette gapes at you. “I almost rushed you to a healer just a moment ago, Your Grace. I have done nothing to earn your gratitude.”
“That’s the thing, though, thank you for taking care of me this entire time, Neuvillette. You’ve been looking out for me every time we’re together, so thank you,” without thinking it over, you close the distance between you two and hug him. When you pull away, he’s intent on not looking you in the eye. “Thank you also for introducing me to water tasting. Never thought the day would come but here we are. It really is quite fun.”
“I see…” Neuvillette says, before abruptly turning around, giving you a clear view of his reddened ears. “Pardon me for a moment, Your Grace. I just… need to recollect for a moment.” 
Before you can say anything else, he leaves your side and goes to get your goblet he threw earlier in a panic. He kneels down and picks it up, but instead of heading back towards you, he just sort of holds it, turning it around in his hand mindlessly. You watch, jaw slightly open, until you feel a presence behind you. 
“I think you broke him.” 
You turn to the Traveler with concern. “Yeah I think so, too, should I be worried?” 
You both turn to Neuvillette, seeing he’s still busy with his goblet, before looking back to each other.
“I bet 500 mora he’ll go back to normal if you make yourself another drink.” 
“It’s not really a bet if we agree on the same thing, though?” 
You clear your throat, hoping to catch Neuvillette’s attention as you turn to Paimon. “Paimon, mind if I borrow your cup for now? We can share if you need it.”
“No, that’s okay. Paimon’s had enough of water. Paimon will share with the Traveler!” Almost on cue, the Traveler offers their drink to Paimon. 
The moment you lift the next pitcher, Neuvillette is by your side in an instant, your goblet and his safely set aside for washing later. “May I do the honors, Your Grace?” 
You offer your goblet as he holds up the pitcher. He pauses.
“Promise me we’ll stop if things get… awry.”
You smile. “You said it yourself, right? This is water prepared by the Iudex himself and made by the Creator themselves. I don’t doubt for a second that it’s not safe.” 
Neuvillette shares your smile softly before pouring the water into your goblet. Third time’s the charm, right? You take a sip and… raise an eyebrow.
“It’s salty. Huh.” you take another sip. “Sort of metallic, too. That’s pretty close to the same thing but, yeah, I’d say it’s rather salty.”
“Salty? That’s quite strange.” Neuvillette double checks that he’s holding the right pitcher. “This water is from Liyue, particularly from Qingce Village. I know of the water from Liyue to have an enduring aftertaste, but I must say I was not expecting it to be salty.”
“Me, too; for Liyue I was kind of expecting it to have an earthy kind of taste. Whatever that tastes like, I don’t know, but I was ready for anything besides this,” you take another sip. “Can’t say it’s all that bad, though. I feel like I’m at a beach.”
“Only if you’re actively drinking the sea water.” 
You don’t even bother looking behind you. “I said it ‘felt’ like. I didn’t say ‘taste’ like. Get your facts straight.”
Looking up at Neuvillette, you realize he’s only watching your reactions. He smiles softly when he finds your attention on him. Not wanting to be the only one “enjoying” the drink, you offer your goblet to him. He looks at you, slightly alarmed, but when you make no move to take the goblet back, he reluctantly takes it. He turns away from you as he drinks. 
You hear the Traveler clear their throat behind you. When you go to look, their eyebrows are raised at you. They look to Neuvillette and then to you before scoffing. Oh… was it that intimate an action?
“A-anyway,” you clear your throat as Neuvillette hands the goblet back to you. There’s a small pleased smile on his face. “What do you think of when you drink water from Liyue?” 
“For me,” Neuvillette closes his eyes for a few seconds, careful of what to say next. “I always thought it had a poignant touch to it.”
“Poignant?” What did you think of when you thought of poignant? Swirling the water around your cup, you recall a story quest. Liyue, salt, and water are key factors in its plot. A sad smile overtakes your features. “Ah. Yes, I guess poignant would be a good word for that. Salty is the right word, too.”
Neuvillette tilts his head to the side at your sudden change in demeanor. “Your Grace?”
“It’s nothing. Just thought I’d visit an old friend sometime.” you tilt your head back as you down the rest of the cup. “Anyways, I think I need something else to wash that off.” 
“Ah, yes. I suppose that does come with consuming salty foods.” Neuvillette nods. “Would you like a different drink? Something aside from water, I mean.”
“Actually, water is good for washing off salt, so I thought I’d ask for more water.”
He holds up the last silver pitcher. “We have Mondstadt left, if you would like to give it a try right now.”
“How would you describe it?” you ask, but you’re already holding out your goblet.
“This particular batch is from Cider Lake.” Neuvillette fills your goblet a little more than usual, most likely to fully cleanse the salt from your palate. “Besides having a crisp and clear feel, I also find that it warms the heart.”
“Oh, wow, guess Venti’s got it nice going for him,” you lift the goblet to your lips and drink.
“I’d be bold enough to say it’s the only thing nice going for him.”
You almost spit out your drink for the second time this day. You turn to look at the Traveler, but they’re busy having a debate with Paimon. That means that the person who said that was-
Neuvillette takes the goblet from your hands and drinks. When you look at him, jaw hanging open still from disbelief, you watch as the corners of his mouth tick up.
“Are you allowed to say that?” you whisper. The Traveler and Paimon don’t seem to have heard, but you sure as hell did.
“I just did, did I not?” He offers a small smile that borders on innocent if it wasn’t so conspiratorial. “I have faith that the Creator will not spread rumors about me, I hope.”
You don’t know if you’d still call it a rumor when he so blatantly did it in front of you, but you end up laughing. You put both hands up as a show of surrender. No way in hell were you telling on the dragon sovereign of Fontaine.
“So, as for our final drink,” Neuvillette offers the goblet back. “What do you make of water from Mondstadt?”
You make a show of finishing the cup all in one go. “Out of all the ones we tasted, I think this has got to be my favorite so far.” 
“Oh? Is it that good?” Neuvillette watches you keenly, awaiting for more details. 
“Yep. It tastes like water.”
Neuvillette chuckles softly, but when you simply offer him a smile, his smile drops. “You… are not joking?”
“Nah. It’s exactly as you say - it’s crisp and clean. It’s how water tasted like back from my world,” you hum in delight. “It doesn’t remind me of anything else but the pure taste of water. Can’t put my finger on whether it’s distilled, mineral, or tap water, all I know is that it’s water for me.” 
“Hmm. Although I want to say it’s rather an anticlimactic ending, I can’t say so. I leave today with the knowledge that there is still a water sample we can similarly taste.” Neuvillette smiles to himself once more. “But that’s enough of that. I believe I’ve put you through enough for today, Your Grace. Thank you for entertaining me and my hobbies.”
“I had fun! Make sure to call me next time you get a new sample, I’d love to have a taste.” You beam at him.
Neuvillette stares at you for a moment - was he waiting for you to tell him it was just a joke? Sure seemed like it - before his smile was back, relieved. You can almost see his little otter tail waving around. “Of course. I already look forward to it.” 
“Are you done now?” 
You take a step back as Paimon suddenly steps into the middle. Her little frown does little to make you feel bad. If anything, it has the opposite effect and you laugh. Her frown deepens at you as you rub her little head. 
“Yeah, yeah, we’re done. We can get a meal now.”
“Woohoo! We're getting meals, plural. Where are we going to eat? Paimon wants some Fontainian Foie Gras!” you follow the fairy as she heads out the door, excited for the prospect of food. And then you pause as you remember.
“Ah, wait. Before we leave. Just one more thing.”
You head back to the food trolley and grab Paimon’s goblet. You make a beeline for a corner in Neuvillette’s office. You noticed earlier there was a small drinking fountain. Gathering enough water into your cup, you take a sip. You turn to Neuvillette.
“Oh my gosh, it’s sweet.”
==✿==|✧••❀••✧|==✿== 
❀BONUS❀
The Traveler and Paimon share an exasperated sigh for what seemed like the hundredth time in the past week. Ever since the water tasting incident, the Creator and Neuvillette have taken to going around Teyvat, trying out different waters straight from the spring of each nation. 
"Why do we have to visit each nation? Paimon thought you could just have them delivered straight to your office!" Paimon leans on the Traveler's head, tired from floating around so much. 
"Appreciating the nation from which the drink came from is part of the experience, Paimon." Neuvillette swirls the water in his goblet, offering it to the floating fairy, who only takes a look at it before cringing away.
The Traveler and Paimon share another look. They know he just likes the opportunity to bond with the Creator over their appreciation of water.
"Are we going back home after this?" Paimon groans.
"I can make you some Sticky Honey Roast if you guide us to Snezhnaya?" You take another sip from your goblet, one made from pure magical ore.
("Your Grace deserves only the finest things, even if it's only dinnerware and the likes," said Neuvillette. "I may also add that a traveling merchant said that drinking from a crystal goblet highlights the taste of the refreshment, as it is free from the taste of metal usually found in a standard cup." You don't mention that you notice he has a matching goblet, right next to a pile of books on his desk. Embedded on it is a familiar seashell.)
In an instant, Paimon is by your side, eyes glittering with determination. "If you cook three Sticky Honey Roasts for Paimon, Paimon can take you to Kh'aenriah."
You lower your goblet and hold out a hand. "Two. And I'll throw in a Squirrel Fish if you find a lake where we can drink from."
"Deal." Paimon takes your hand and you shake on it.
The Traveller flops to the ground and sighs.
They knew they were going to be the one to look for that lake.
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✨ Masterlist ✨
Taglist: 💛@wonpielle 💜@shikanosn
Disclaimer: Characters are not mine and belong to their respective creators. Their portrayal is merely my own interpretation of them and may not be accurate to their intended characterization. I stake no claim to the original works, only to the ideas and plot of the fictitious stories I’ve written them into.
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whumpback-wail · 1 year ago
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05 - Divulgence
Trial by Fire (Wriothesley x Reader) - TW/CW in masterlist
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IMPORTANT NOTICE: Reminder that this fanfic contains dark and mature themes. The TW/CW are in the masterlist and are constantly updated as I add each chapter. Please reread the warnings, proceed only after you reread the warnings. If you don't like/can't handle the topics mentioned in the TW/CW, please DO NOT read. This work is 100000% fictional and any similarities to real life people and events are purely coincidental, and none of the characters (especially the villains) are real. Again, please DO NOT read if you are not certain you can handle these topics or are in a bad place mentally. Minors are strictly forbidden. I only create content, and I am not responsible for your personal content preference and moderation.
They say being pregnant means everyday is another day closer to meeting the love of your life. One anticipates meeting the fruit of their love with their spouse, looking forward to the bright sunshine days of taking care of that precious someone.
(y/n) did not understand that feeling. In fact she felt the exact opposite, as she slid down the walls of the bathroom, legs too weak to support her own weight. The pregnancy stick in her hand fell to the floor, bouncing to a stop face up, showing the positive sign. Why does this happen to her? What did she ever do to deserve this?
She has to call nurse Komaki, she will know what to do. The thing was still a cell after all, with no soul not consciousness, it should be perfectly fine. It would be so much more cruel to keep the innocent being and let it be born, only for them to later be neglected and unloved. No child deserves that. Not even one born from being forced into her womb by the person she despised the most.
It was nearing lunch, and she knew her fiancé would be back by then, he always makes time to have lunch with her. She has to tell nurse Komaki fast.
(y/n) took several deep breaths to calm herself, and then slowly got up to her bed again, pressing the call button.
A few moments later, she heard the door open.
"Nurse Komaki, I-" (y/n) turned her head, and came face to face with a different nurse altogether. It was not Komaki.
"I'm sorry, nurse Komaki is away right now, her shift will start later tonight. Is there anything I can help you with, miss (y/n)?"
(y/n) blinked back her tears, "n-no. It's okay, nothing too serious."
The nurse stood there, contemplating. "Are you sure miss?"
(y/n) nodded, racking her brain to think of an excuse or anything to justify calling a nurse to her room for nothing. "oh umm… may I have some water please?"
"Sure. It will be delivered here in a moment. Don't hesitate to call me if there's anything else that you need, okay?"
(y/n) hummed and thanked her. She watched as the nurse exit her room. She wanted Komaki, she's the only nurse (y/n) trusted at this moment, especially with something like this.
It wasn't long until the water is delivered to her room, which arrived at about the same time as Wriothesley.
He greeted her with a smile. It normally made her feel safe and loved, but right now, (y/n)'s heart sank to her stomach
"Hey, how's my sunshine doing?"
He leaned in and gave her a quick peck on the forehead. Wriothesley knew he should be careful around her, as her therapist had suggested to him, at least until she is less jumpy and can initiate affectionate gestures more. So far she's taking his affections very well, which made him happy about her progress.
"As usual," (y/n) forced a smile, briefly looking into his eyes before quickly averting her gaze back to her hands. She picked at a loose string on her blanket. 
Speak more, he will notice something is off.
"The healers were a great help to my physical injuries. But they kept stopping after a little while, saying I should rest up because the sped up healing is also draining my energy."
Wriothesley nodded, "I was told, yeah. How's your stomach? Got anything you're craving to eat?"
(y/n) froze. "What?" She managed to not stammer, but her voice cracked as her heart was suddenly frozen with fear. Did he find out? How did he know-
"Just wondering how your stomach felt." Wriothesley tilted his head, confused. It was a small quirk she had found endearing.
"The doctors did say you can only eat soft food for a while to avoid refeeding syndrome, but yesterday you were finally allowed to start eating bread and some fowl. Also because you threw up yesterday."
"Oh…" (y/n) felt stupid, "it's alright now, although I don't really feel like eating."
Wriothesley watched her for a moment. He has always been someone perceptive, that's how he knew who to trust and who to avoid in meropide while still serving his sentence, and that's how he could rise through the ranks and become the duke, despite his humble beginnings. At that moment, something is off about his fiancée.
“Darling are you okay?” he took her hand in his, his other hand brushing loose strands of her hair behind her ear, “I feel like you have something weighing your mind. You know you can tell me anything, right?”
For a moment, (y/n) wavered. Is it really okay to tell him about her pregnancy? She knew Wriothesley wouldn’t blame her, after all, what happened was not something she wanted, far from it. So technically it’s not her fault right? But a small nagging voice in the back of her mind telling her to just keep it to herself for now. There were too many what ifs. It’s safer to just keep quiet about it and deal with it under wraps. She’ll tell him, of course she will, but not now.
“I’m fine,” she forced herself to look into his eyes, a small smile on her lips. “Just wondering how much longer I have to stay cooped up in here.”
Lunch went well with Wriothesley, he told her about his day. He went back to the Fortress of Meropide for a while, to keep an eye on how things are going there, before coming over to her for lunch. After this he planned to proceed with investigations, and perhaps wrap things up early so he could spend more time with her after dinner.
(y/n) managed to eat a little more, despite the anxiety induced nausea, at least enough to not make her look suspicious.
Once lunch was over, Wriothesley gave her another peck on the forehead and left to continue with investigations, with promises of taking (y/n) to the gardens near the hospital once the doctors gave her the clear, and perhaps visit Navia and Neuvilette, as the two are also her friend, as much as they are to him. He wanted more than anything to stay with her the whole time she recovered, but seeing how she often flinched if he moved a little too quickly, or how her eyes often went blank as if she was not really there, he knew he had to do something about it. The therapist assigned to her told him that she may need some time to process through the trauma, and that it was natural that she would be jumpy for the time being, and would need some space too, as stifling her would also be bad for her mental wellbeing.
He already discussed all the options, and what’s best for (y/n). Once (y/n) has recovered some more physically, and once she is ready, he would take her home and nurse her back to health. He would appoint someone else as the Duke of Meropide if that was needed to get him more time off. Right now, he has something else to do.
He did not tell her that he would be going back to the facility, specifically the hidden passage they found inside her cell. Chlorinde had done a great job in capturing the man, living up to her title of champion duelist.
The entrance was so well hidden in the room, so much so that they had to get Aether to use his elemental sight to find. They had followed the hidden maze-like pathway in the room (y/n) was kept in, and it had led them to an underground base, perhaps their real base of operations. Several men were captured, including Dougier, they seem to work directly with Arderne who unfortunately was nowhere in sight. They were all taken into custody. Wriothesley tensed as he remembered their findings.
"Wriothesley you might want to see this." He turned his head towards Neuvilette who a moment ago was rummaging through papers on a desk. The Iudex now held out a file towards him, his face grim.
The Duke took the file and opened it. There were more papers, this time it contained more detailed reports of experiments done to the people. He ruffled through the pages, skimming the words for one specific name. He found it.
Experiment Clearance Form
Title: Vision Trial Variation 2
Principal Investigator: Il Dottore
Assistant: Arderne
Subject: 1102 a.k.a. (y/n)
Vision: Pyro
This form acknowledges the approval of the experiment titled "Vision Trial Variation 2" conducted by Arderne. The experiment aims to implement the theory of vision injections on humans, followed by observation to discover the effects.
The experiment poses high risks to participants. Potential risks include memory loss, increased body temperatures, seizures, and the possibility of death. Steps have been taken to mitigate these risks. Subject is physically weakened before the start to lower the chances of the body rejecting the injection, thus increasing the success rate of this experiment. On the occasion that this experiment would fail, the study will move on to Vision Trial Variation 3, and the current subject will be discarded.
Fuck.
“Did we find any traces of Arderne?” Wriothesley’s voice dropped several octaves, Neuvilette knew what this meant.
“There are none so far,” he placed a reassuring hand on Wriothesley, “But we do have Dougier now, and we are taking him and the others to custody. We can get more information out of them-”
Wriothesley shook him off and landed a harsh kick on a table to the side, immediately breaking it. He wanted to murder them all, especially that bastard Dottore. He had heard rumours of him doing crazy experiments, but to think it happened right here in Fontaine, with his fiancee? His breaths were shaky with barely controlled rage.
“Wriothesley, I understand how frustrating this is. (y/n) is also my dear friend.” Neuvilette spoke in the most soothing tone he could muster up. “Trust me, I am just as upset as you are in this, but we have to keep a level head. For (y/n)’s sake and all the victims that were forced into this.”
They were deep underground, had they been up on the surface, they would see heavy rain mixed with snow, and thunderstorms raging outside, the weather mirroring the Iudex’s inner turmoil on the entire situation.
• • •
(y/n) wondered if she was dead or dreaming the moment she saw herself on the familiar bed of her room in the facility. Dr Arderne was standing at the foot of her bed reading through the information on his clipboard, while Dougier was securing her arms and legs with restraints.
She had been too weak to resist, having been starved for days without food, the only nutrition she got was through her IV drip and glasses of suspiciously blue coloured water, which she had no choice but to drink.
"Good morning 1102, ready for the next dose? Arderne readied a syringe. It was filled with shimmery red liquid, the glow seemed to pulse the closer it gets to her.
"F-Fuck you Arderne." (y/n) managed to mumble, making Dougier snicker.
Arderne held (y/n)'s arm and injected the contents of the syringe into her. At first it felt like nothing, but gradually she could feel it start to burn, as if fire was coursing through her veins.
It wasn't long until the burning sensation started to feel unbearable. Hot white pain spreads from the point of injection to all over her body. She bit her tongue, trying not to scream, she will not give them the satisfaction of seeing her in pain. She won't-
(y/n) jolted awake, her breaths heavy and ragged and her heart was pounding in her chest. Fuck.
It was a dream. She was safe. It was just a dream.
The room she was in, despite being a hospital room, it was completely different from the facility, with flowers her friends and fiancé got for her, and the comforting weight of her big blubberbeast plushie that Wriothesley brought from their bed at home. She hugged the plush tightly and pressed her nose to its soft fur. It smelled just like Wriothesley, as he had sprayed his cologne all over it, something she often did even before… all this.
(y/n) tried to remember what her therapist had told her. 
My name is (y/n), I am at the Fontaine hospital, guarded by the Spina di Rosula, Wriothesley stays with me during the night, and stops by for lunch. I am safe, and I am recovering.
Her therapist told her that her dreams would eventually go away as her mind heals, but how long will that take?
Glancing at the clock, she noticed it was still early, too early for Wriothesley to come back from his investigation. He had left a book with her some days ago, which she picked up and started to read, trying to get her mind off things.
As she reached for the book on her night stand, suddenly (y/n) felt the familiar tingle in her hands, running all the way up her arms. It was warm and welcoming, it felt like home. A split second later, the book she was reaching for suddenly burst into flames.
• • •
Wriothesley watched Neuvilette from behind the one way glass as the latter asked Dougier more and more questions. The Iudex had presented all the evidence they found on the table. Laying it all out for Dougier as he asked question after question that Dougier only gave vague answers to, sometimes only responding with chuckles. The scum was a goner, his mind seemingly corrupted by the facility.
He wanted to be the one who personally interrogates the vile man, but Neuvilette had forbidden him from entering, for fear of what Wriothesley would do to the suspect. Still, watching from behind the glass was frustrating, he wished Neuvilette would let them do interrogations in Meropide, where it was outside Fontaine’s jurisdiction, so they could use other means to get information.
“This is going nowhere,” Wriothesley mumbled and pushed open the door leading into the interrogation room. Fuck the consequences, he’ll probably just get an earful from Neuvilette later.
At the sight of Wriothesley, Dougier’s eyes lit up in a nasty way that the Duke did not like at all. “Ah your Grace, here to play the bad cop now?”
“Seeing how you’re going nowhere with Neuvilette, I might as well do.”
Wriothesley grabbed the chair at the corner of the room and dragged it over to sit beside Neuvilette, who was glancing at Wriothesley cautiously.
“So do you feel like talking now Dougier? I thought you were a changed man after you were released.”
Dougier only scoffed, “then I had you fooled. You have no idea what kind of grudge I hold against you, Wriothesley. You ruined the community I built in Meropide.”
“Community? You call that community? You basically started a cult, and no one liked being in there.” Wriothesley scowled.
“Nevertheless,” Dougier continued, “I had my revenge. You should have heard how much (y/n) screamed when Arderne injected her vision into her.”
Wriothesley froze. He knew about what happened but hearing it from Dougier was different from reading it on the files they found.
Dougier, seeing the change in Wriothesley’s demeanour, continued. “She was a brave one, that bitch. Endured hours upon hours of our treatment, sometimes without anaesthesia. And that was after we put her in solitary confinement. We were wrong thinking we broke her spirit already, and yet she’s still fighting.”
"And you did this to all the people in the Vision Trials?" Neuvilette asked, the pen in his hand moving to take notes.
Dougier ignored him, his eyes still glued on Wriothesley's.
"How can we reverse the vision injections?" Wriothesley asked, trying to keep his breathing steady. He knew he couldn't try anything with Neuvilette around.
"You'll have to ask Arderne for that," Dougier leaned back on his chair, "but all I know is while (y/n) is still alive, she's a failure. She had her vision inside her yet it never seemed to work, not even when we prompted her."
"What do you mean prompted her?" Neuvilette asked, and this time, Dougier turned his eyes to him..
"Oh we threatened her, and when it didn't work, beat her, did whatever to make her call on her pyro element and use the vision in her. That never seemed to work."
Wriothesley and Neuvilette were tense, the former had his fists clenched so hard.
"That was when I took her to the basement, the cold weather should prompt the vision to at least keep her warm." Dougier turned to Wriothesley, a deranged look danced in his eyes as he smiled at him.
"I can see why you like 1102. She was so brave. She never once begged or called out for you even with all the beatings, that is, until I put my cock inside her-”
Suddenly Dougier was on the ground. Wriothesley had moved so fast Neuvilette barely registered him vaulting over the table and landing a fist on Dougier's face. He managed to hammer down his fists onto Dougier some more before he felt multiple hands pull him backwards off Dougier, who was unconscious in a bloodied mess.
"GET OFF ME." He yelled at the gardemeks who held him back, but Neuvilette soon stepped in front of him, blocking his view of Dougier who was being tended to by medics.
"Wriothesley," his voice was stern, "the punching can wait until after his sentence. If he is sentenced back to Meropide then it is under your jurisdiction."
Wriothesley was breathing heavily, "he… he also… Archons, (y/n)..."
"I already let you land several hits on him" Neuvilette placed a hand on his shoulder, "but we need him alive for more information on the case, and for his trials."
Wriothesley watched, seething with rage as Dougier was taken away by the medics for further treatment. He wanted the scum to suffer as much as, if not more than (y/n). How could anyone do this to her?
Neuvilette sighed and motioned for the gardemeks to release Wriothesley, "I think it's best if you go visit (y/n) for now. I think you two need to talk."
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(;;;*_*)--c<ノ°益°)ノ _:(´ཀ`」 ∠):_
A/N
…now I'm sad... why do I do this to myself :") wrote this while hugging my blåhaj because I needed that warm shorky embrace.
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(Tuna says hi :D and hopes everyone is okay after reading this)
I apologize for the late update, some parts of the chapter had to be rewritten to make more sense, but in the end it became longer than I planned (and I had to cut it here and continue next chapter)
Thanks for sticking around this long, I hope the update hurt you all as much as it did for me to write :"))) please stay safe and take care, and hug your pets/plushies for me 💕
P.s. I’m not sure how to write a proper experiment clearance form TwT I hope that wasn’t too off.
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fushiglow · 3 months ago
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How's it gloing?
I haven't spent much time on here recently, so I thought I'd check in with you guys! I don't tend to speak about my personal life online, because I don't really want to. However, I've received a few messages that seem easier to answer with a little (long) update.
In short, if you ever want to know how I'm doing, simply check how long it's been since my last update to Over the Threshold! We're currently approaching three months between chapters so ✨ yeah ✨
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Work got Very Bad™ to the point that I had to take time off with stress. They hired a consultant to help me with my "ADHD specific struggles", only for the consultant to turn around and say "yeah, the issue isn't with the employee, no one can do all that". wbk.
Employers are at least trying to take appropriate action but the transition period is rough. I fully burnt out, so easing back into my responsibilities without getting frustrated and self-conscious about how little I can now manage each day is hard. Of course, mum has been undergoing cancer treatment throughout all of this too. Though the worst is (hopefully) behind us now, it's been rough, pals!
I'm doing my best with Over the Threshold, but that story is a different beast. I try to follow the inspiration wherever it takes me, because I've never found forcing it to be helpful, but I really want to move forwards with this fic now! I'm determined to make some significant progress once chapter 12 (the biggest problem chapter yet) is out of the way, so wish me luck!
It also hasn't helped that my special interest series came to an end rather unexpectedly during this time. As embarrassing as it feels to admit it, I've spent quite a bit of time grieving the end of JJK. I found my feet in the fandom here on Tumblr, and I'm sad knowing it'll never be the same space now it's over. Without the yapping and theorising and nerding out, I'm not sure how to make use of this place really, but while BlueSky seems promising, I miss Tumblr a lot. I really want to spend more time here again, so I think it's time to dust off the old queue. Reckon I've got stuff from last December sitting in there!
I know I've left a lot of people hanging in this time, and I'm genuinely sorry for that. However, I've been preserving every last drop of energy for the thing that gives me most joy: writing. My fics have brought many wonderful friendships my way, and I'll never stop being grateful for that, but trying to keep on top of all the different things demanding my attention is a huge part of the reason I burnt out.
At the end of the day, I'm here to create first and foremost, and I have to prioritise that for my own wellbeing. I really hope you understand ♥️
Okay, enough of that! Let's end on something less serious! A lot of the content I used to create here is no longer viable or appealing, so aside from unwanted yapping about my own writing, I'm not sure what to post about! Is there anything you'd like to see from me on Tumblr specifically? And last but certainly not least, how are you?
A reminder that my asks are always open — love you guys!
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bonesandthebees · 11 months ago
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Okay fuck it. I think scrolling for hours today is enough DJFKGKFK I'll just log back out. I wanna focus my energy on more positive things
Im so gonna log back in the minute my friend sends me another tweet but HDKGKGKD no. I will do my best. He's not worth our time man.
Okay one more tiny rant about him and then I promise I'll stop I just OOOHHMYGODHFJGKG HE JUST. I had so much hope. That. He would reply and it wouldn't fix things, I wouldn't go back to watching him or anything but at the very least I could get closure that like? Maybe his closer friends would be able to heal and move on? Idk if that's parasocial or whatever but he was such a big role model for me the past few years I really had hope that at least some parts of it were real, you know? And instead we just find out that he not only did these shitty things but didn't fucking learn and did it to other people too and??? It's really really upsetting that he created this safe space, this community of people who were all so lovely while just being. Fake. The whole time. And he doesn't even have the gull to properly apologise and I just??#?# idk what to do with my emotions LMFAO I'd finally started to feel better and like move on but now today I'm just angry again grgrgfhfjdkdk and I totally get that like him being a complete dickhead is easier in a lot of ways bc there's no. Doubting it. Or anything. Like there's no redeeming him. And we can get closure from that. But fuckkk it hurts so badly and the tl is a mess of ppl being like "well this person would never do me wrong" and then ppl being like "fuck every YouTuber ever actually. We can't ever be sure we know them" and LIKE!$?_?$?
Dude I am so conflicted on so many levels rn I feel like my entire world has just been yeeted into the sun LMFAODKFKFKFK
Anyways. Anyways. Thank you bee. Ur tumblr is the only account w a brain rn fr lmfaodjfkfkfks
I get it, I'm fucking furious at him. he had a chance to at least own up to what he did. I wouldn't have gone back to consuming his content, but I could be somewhat at peace knowing he was taking steps towards being better.
I don't want to think it was all a lie, because abusers aren't all completely evil people. the thing is, wilbur is human. a very shitty human, but human nonetheless. and we can't know for sure how healthy or unhealthy every relationship in his life has ever been and I think overanalyzing that or trying to figure out what was fake and what was real isn't really our business or worth our time. wilbur is a guy who has hurt a lot of people, but also refuses to recognize the hurt he's caused. that's it.
I do hate the dichotomy I'm seeing between people trying to prop up their own favorite white boys on a pedestal because apparently people never learn, but also going out and saying every content creator is inherently evil and we shouldn't trust any of them. these people are human. they're all going to fuck up at some point, some worse than others. and sometimes they'll fuck up in a way that they can move past and we can forgive them for, and other times they'll fuck up in a way that shows they shouldn't have the platform they have. they're not all terrible, and they're not all perfect. that's what we should be keeping in mind for the future.
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Hello,
I am the Timelord currently responsible for the human who wanted to clone themselves.
I only noticed what was happening after the 54th clone. That alone is already a ridiculous amount, so you will understand my appall after discovering from the chronology of this exchange that your "humanon" wasn't even halfway done. Do you have the slightest idea of how difficult it is to deal with clones? A whole 54 of them?
Of course you don't, you must be no more than 30 years fresh from the Academy.
Frankly, I expected more from a trustworthy channel like yours than humoring an idiotic question such as "how many humans to overcome a Timelord". Surely you must have seen where it would lead, given the level of naivety displayed by your interlocutor and the instrumentation they had access to? Were you perhaps curious to see how much damage a human in a TARDIS could do?
Well, I invite you to satiate that curiosity with your own companion, in your own ship, provided you even have either.
Dear Esteemed Time Lord,
We sincerely hope this message finds you in good health and minimal temporal disarray. While we understand and sympathise with your situation, please allow us to point out some details you may have missed.
How Did 54 Clones Escape Your Notice?
One cannot help but wonder how a Time Lord of your esteem managed to overlook the creation of 54 clones. Surely, the repeated usage of advanced cloning technology with frequent energy drains and the sudden multiplication of your human companion might have warranted at least a casual glance away from your VDU? Given your unparalleled intellect and finely honed observational skills, it is indeed a mystery.
Access to Advanced Technology
Your human's free access to such sophisticated technology raises further questions. How did they acquire it, and what supervision did you offer? Might we suggest a review of your security protocols, as it appears that humans' boundless curiosity, combined with the free availability of your advanced instruments may have caused this.
Hypotheticals and Theoreticals
The Gallifrey Institute for Learning frequently explores hypotheticals and theories, providing a fertile ground for intellectual exploration and academic debate. However, we cannot be held accountable for the literal and misguided application of these thought experiments by any Time Lord or their companions.
Our Disclaimer
We must refer you to our standard disclaimer:
The information provided by the Gallifrey Institute for Learning is intended for educational purposes only. We do not accept any responsibility for information from the programmes being used to harm or harass any Gallifreyans, no matter how irritating or destructive they might be.
We trust this clarifies our position and sincerely hope that your cloning dilemma is resolved. Perhaps consider creating a small 5-a-side football league?
Hope that helped! 😃
Any orange text is educated guesswork or theoretical. More content ... →📫Got a question? | 📚Complete list of Q+A and factoids →📢Announcements |🩻Biology |🗨️Language |🕰️Throwbacks |🤓Facts → Features: ⭐Guest Posts | 🍜Chomp Chomp with Myishu →🫀Gallifreyan Anatomy and Physiology Guide (pending) →⚕️Gallifreyan Emergency Medicine Guides →📝Source list (WIP) →📜Masterpost If you're finding your happy place in this part of the internet, feel free to buy a coffee to help keep our exhausted human conscious. She works full-time in medicine and is so very tired 😴
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conjuring-ghouls · 9 months ago
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I lost my best friend on Sunday.
Life feels sad ever since. Sitting on my bed and not having her immediately come to my lap, or waking up without her weight and warmth on my legs feels excruciating. It's like having a lump in your throat that never leaves, or like being kicked so hard in the stomach that you're out of breath. Only this feeling is constant.
I oscillate between the terrible feeling that a massive part of my life is missing and the comforting sensation that I've accomplished my job in giving her the best life I possibly could. A sense of relief that she got to spend her last days with us, near me and her last minutes in this life in my room, in my bed (or her room, her bed, that she was kind enough to share with me).
Ugh… the only certainty we have in this life is the one of death, either way, I'm still always impressed at how much it hurts. Of how unprepared we are to deal with the excruciating reality of not having someone we love anymore. Of how in one minute they're here, and in the next they're not. Our brain struggles to process this fact. Yet, we keep going because that's all we can do.
Blume, I'm just so glad we've spent SO much time together throughout the years because I have all these nice pics of you. I'm happy that at least I could tell you everything I had to tell you in these last days. Even if it was hard, even if i couldn't help crying while holding your tiny little paw. But when you looked back at me with your big yellow eyes, I knew you were understanding me.
Even if you couldn't understand exactly my words, you were feeling the energy I was trying to convey to you when I told you that our love and connection is so strong that it overlaps the meaningless barriers of life. When I promised you our love is so strong and unique that it will make us meet again. Souls that connect this much, find their way to each other, one way or another. We are bound to meet again, in this life or the next.
And if you can see my pain rn, I hope it serves as evidence of how much I loved you, of how much you've meant to me, of how thankful I am that you chose me as your human. No other animal has ever done that to me before. Between a house with five people, with no evident reason, you chose me. It's been always hard for me to see myself as worthy of good things, but I keep thinking that if you loved me, if you saw little details in me that gave you comfort, maybe I'm not that bad.
So I'm gonna keep going and every time that life feels hard and hopeless, I'll think of you and keep going for you. Because if you trusted me, maybe I should trust myself too. Because I know that's what you've wanted.
In regards to tumblr, I need time. I will get better, I will address things and will accept this lost as I slowly get used to a life without her. But I need some days.
And to be honest, if I'm taking something from this time I've spent away, is that I haven't been dealing with tumblr and content creating in the best way lately. I've been neglecting my own feelings and mental health and attributing my worth to what I share or how much time I spend here. And this isn't healthy.
There are so many things out there we end up missing if we're too stuck in this mindset. A whole world around us that we go blind to. I will be back soon. But I need a few days. I hope you'll all understand ♡
Meanwhile, stay with these silly pictures of her. I couldn't go anywhere without her following me around and I couldn't take a mirror selfie or in fact any picture at all without her showing up in the bg, so there's plenty!
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Rest in peace, my love. I will forever love you. Thank you for loving me when I thought no one else could ♡
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irkendogma · 4 months ago
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i know they're pretty lacking in tak aside from some ship segments, but do you have any favorite issues of the invader zim comics? call me basic but i adore the zimvoid arc especially
man i feel bad about like every anon i've gotten recently because i'm certain i keep coming off as an absolute hater (which may not even be inaccurate but i DO have love in my heart as well) but i honestly don't like the comics that much. i feel like both my grievances and my favorite issues/moments can be summed up by things from a conversation i had a little while back
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like, obviously this is not exclusive to the comics - the show itself very much leans on the nonsense comedy angle because it is, in fact, a comedy aired on nickelodeon aimed at children. i'm not about to complain that a 2001 kids cartoon doesn't take itself seriously because i would be insane to expect it to. the problem is, when the comics were released, florpus hadn't even come out yet - the primary audience for them was no longer the "kids" element of the original demographic but the "watched in 2001" element
these comics EXIST to be fanservice - what fuckin 8-year-old is going to a comic shop or browsing online to buy the marketed revival of a show they don't recognize? - but they're written more like meaningless, substanceless comedy than even the original show ever was. there was a fucking wealth of material the original show never got to touch on prior to cancellation, and barely any of it is ever adapted, to say nothing of the entire original cast besides zim and dib playing bit parts to unrelated nonsensical comics characters IF they even appear at all - the fact that many fan favorites, my own included, receive a cameo at the end of a single special issue and nothing else across the comics' like fucking 50-issue run continues to bother me
and rest assured, the comics themselves are at least a little cognizant of this, because they will take every fucking opportunity they have to lampoon and create strawmen out of fans asking for more or even just...making fan content in general. remember mopiness of doom? chammy wamboo is here to make sure you feel stupid about interpreting anything that happened in that script as zim and dib having any form of fondness for each other, and she's going to spend an entire fucking issue doing it (with a very halfhearted attempt by the narrative to go "maybe she has a point about friendship?" that ends up undermined by other instances of the comic doing the exact same thing as this issue). think that the comics themselves aren't as good as the original show? virooz is a fat, sweaty, conventionally ugly manchild of a stereotypical strawman here to puppet around zim's body in dramatic poses that never fail to be drawn as stupid and unfitting in his belief that zim "fell off" from his earlier days. sure, occasionally there are grains of truth or genuinely funny things from them, but overall the whole thing feels incredibly meanspirited and more interested in bashing fans for being invested than rewarding that investment of time, energy, and sentiment into the material
even zimvoid...i WANT to like zimvoid. conceptually, i really like zimvoid. but the comics are deathly fucking allergic to allowing any stakes or sincerity to persist across the plot and it makes a lot of fascinating elements with a painfully compelling antagonist hit like a wet piece of tissue paper slapping on a brick wall, any impact stuff like zib's confession that he lied and winning over zim ultimately didn't earn him anything is soundly undermined by the fact that zim fixes the problem instantaneously with a spontaneous time travel loophole that even the story itself repeatedly lampshades makes no fucking sense whatsoever
maybe i'm just not the target audience for the comics, honestly, but in a fanbase that for nearly 20 years has consisted mainly of adults suspending their disbelief to more seriously adapt the story and melodramatic teenagers doing the same with less self-awareness, i don't know who is the target audience
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alexanderlightweight · 2 years ago
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Can you write something that dragon Alec has Kleptomania (i don't know if has is the right term.🙃)
He keeps stealing things that he doesn't need.
İn his little dragon form, somehow he stumbles upon Magnus's lair and couldn't help himself but take away something with him. And after that he keeps coming back, drawns to the magic that surrounds the place.
Magnus, notices the missing things and the magic signature that a dragon leaves,after a while. And decides to meet his little intruder.
okay so i loved this prompt so much (i also have another amazing prompt that is about dragon/alec and magnus also can shift. anon requested cat and my go to cat for magnus is a size-changing clouded leopard for the most part).
so i created a verse for the two prompts because i fell in love with the idea of alec carefully stealing from magnus and falling in love with the taste of his magic (which is why thats the name)
which means this fic actually gets tags. i'm trying to start tagging fics with their verse tags. which means naming things lol (i'm terrible at naming things, my least favorite part after posting).
dragon!alec and able to shift into a clouded leopard!magnus
<3 lumine
i hope you enjoy!!!
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Magnus isn’t sure what first alerts him to the intruder, but he’s fairly certain it’s when his peony pearls start to disappear. Each pearl is an effort of magic and time and the ones that Magnus helps grow are incredibly valuable.
It means that he is utterly furious at the theft and doubles his wards, seething at the fact that somehow, someone snuck into his own garden above his personal lair.  Magnus shifts as he stalks the boundary of the roof and lets his claws unsheathe and sheath for a moment as he settles himself and then he viciously, furiously rubs himself against every inch of his garden.  When he’s done, his magic and scent are strong, a potent threat to anyone who dares try and trespass again.
For two weeks he thinks he’s won, until he goes to dig up his tulip opal bulbs and finds only actual, organic bulbs instead. Magnus has never had a harvest of less than five opals to a dozen bulbs before, which is unheard of from other cultivators, and it’s with a resurgence of his anger that he turns the bulbs into pulp.
They’re essentially useless now.
They won’t regrow, not after all of the energy they gave to the opals and while it’s not exactly a waste since the opals exist, it is a waste to be deprived of both the gems and the flowers.
It’s with a roiling inferno of anger that he strips down his wards and reconstructs them from the bare bones that he leaves behind, even calling over Ragnor and Cat to help at one point though he doesn’t explain why.
Three days later, the pomegranates that should have been a harvest of magical rubies are gone and the koi pond is void of the diamond drops that are created from the bubbles of the koi.
Magnus is no longer content to be a bystander and so it’s with a feral, primal rage that he begins to cultivate the lilies he’s going to lure in the damned thief.  Magnus is nearly undetectable when shifted and he’ll be unnoticeable as long as he stays where the plants are strongest with his magic.
Five nights he waits on the roof, waiting for the right night and on the night of the full moon, they bloom.
Magnus knows somehow that the thief will come, and he settles into the shadows, his whiskers twitching as he thinks of the various ways, he is going to demolish his prey.  The different ways he is going to make them writhe with agony and scream with pain. Magnus is going to inflict on the intruder magic the likes of which is unheard of by any other living warlocks and — he shudders.  The feel of a delicate, almost cool touch of magic across his wards is like a soothing balm to the heat of his anger and Magnus breathes out a thoughtful gust. 
Magnus’ uninvited guest doesn’t rip or sneak past the wards, they slide through like they are a part of the wards, and the wards welcome them eagerly enough.
It takes a minute for Magnus to work through the live feedback of his wards as he twitches his whiskers, flicking his tail in tempo to call up a breeze that will temporarily scatter the fairy lights up high.
It’s a small, black dragon who lands almost hastily when the lights go up. His wings snap shut, and he dives into a roll, as if afraid to hurt the little globes of light that dance through the breeze around him.  As the wind settles, the fairy lights dim and gently set back to rest on moss and rocks alike. 
Magnus’ magic shares the information found greedily, the wards reacting to his curiosity.
Magnus’ dragon is a gorgeous thing and just when Magnus is cursing, wishing for a better look, the moonlight shifts.  At the same time, there is a clatter and Magnus’ little dragon freezes, caught in the moonbeam as his tail stays where it is, curved through the air as he waits for the pot it knocked into to settle back into place.  As soon as the pot is safe, Magnus’ dragon gives a little huff and then shrinks his form even more, condensing to the size of rather large and less soft Maine Coone.
Magnus suddenly understands how his daring little thief got into the roof, as warding against dragons is nearly impossibly until after you’ve met the specific dragon you’re trying to protect against. Not to mention that Magnus hasn’t thought to try to ward any of his more modern lairs from dragons in almost two centuries and he’s delighted at his mistake since it’s earned him an exquisite little treat.
His dragon walks around, sniffing the various flowers and trilling over certain ones, sometimes nipping the buds of flowers and swallowing them down with happy shifting of his scales and the spines on his spine. There’s a moment of clear indecision as he looks longingly to the little brook where the trap is set and then he nose dives into the pond. Magnus had only checked the bubbles and he mentally counts all of his koi. 
It takes only a moment of reaching out to brush against their magical signatures to realize that while he isn’t shy about stealing flowers and magical artifacts of great craft and expense, Magnus’ little intruder is much more polite with the koi.  Magnus is almost impatient with how little he gets to see his dragon now that he’s fully submerged.  It’s nearly two, painfully long hours later that he finally emerges.  He’s glistening in the moonlight and Magnus’ fairy lights have turned on for the night, floating through the sky and showing off how sharp and gleaming his scales and horns are. 
The dragon goes straight to the brook where Magnus has been cultivating his trap. 
Moonlily tears would be irresistible to any thief but considering that half of the reason he keeps coming back is clearly because of Magnus’ magic, Magnus dragon won’t be able to stop himself. The tears are formed in the heart of moonlight lilies and can only be harvested on full moons. The reason for their rarity is that they are created from the condensed magic of a warlock or seelie. The amount of control it takes to materialize a physical manifestation of your magic and then condense it to clarity is difficult to learn and Magnus knows his boy will go straight for them.
They’re rare enough that Magnus has even smacked Ragnor and Cat’s sticky fingers away from his moonlily tears, but he just sits back.  He could spring the trap at any moment, but he delights in watching as tiny, undoubtedly deadly claws try to pry open the large flowers.  His dragon is being so delicate, trying not to damage the actual lilies which are magical treasures themselves. Magnus has to hold back a purr and pushes down the urge to rip the flower apart in order to offer the tears quick. 
When his thief finally succeeds, it’s to lick inside the flower with a chiming sound as the tears slide down his throat. He seems blissed out the moment he’s done, licking his lips and ignoring the rest of the flowers to topple over.  He’s intoxicated by Magnus’ magic and he’s enjoying it, basking in the moonbeams and the trickling of cool water over his scales as he tries to curl up in the small burble of water.
Magnus chuffs, low and nearly inaudible but no longer able to contain himself. 
Apparently, his little dragon has a taste for Magnus’ magic and has been raiding Magnus’ garden consistently in the hopes of finding more. Becoming entranced with the taste and energy of Magnus’ magic is a delightful little compliment and Magnus suddenly has the urge to make even more enticing gems to lure his find in if the first trap doesn’t work.
After all, why bother creating priceless treasures for potions when you can use them to lure a dragon.
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princeanxious · 2 years ago
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are you out of the TSS fandom for good, do you think? just burned out on lack of updates?
I mean, it's complicated.
Edit: pressed answer instead of save to drafts while trying to back out, tumblr what the fuck
Anyway, it's complicated. I've become burnt out creatively lately, and I've been part of the sanders sides Fandom since 2018, it's been a big portion of my life, I'm not letting it go that easily.
However, this is my main blog, and I cant really shift everything to a new side blog, so I do feel bad for those who followed me exclusively for sanders sides are now seeing a v distinct lack of it.
But for the most part, yeah, I'm burned out on a lack of updates, I was a fander creator doing as much as I could to create content to entertain myself just as much as for others in-between the hiatus-gaps while awaiting updates. I love these characters with all my heart, but every gap in between has gotten longer and longer, I can't keep waiting for a year at a time for one single update even if the finished product is grand and *absolutely worth* the time it took to make. I was scrambling, bc I no longer have the time I used to to create my own fanart and fanfiction and animatics for this fandom, and I can only reread the library of my favorite saved works over so many times before I feel hollow and under-stimulated.
It'd be one thing if the rest of the fandom was as active as it used to be, I bounce off others creative energy far easier than single handedly manifesting my own inspirations all the time. But it's not, and interaction with my own content slowed way down. (Not to say that I'm leaving just bc of this or anything, but its become a struggle to feel motivated to keep going when there's literally nothing new from Canon to keep riffing from.)
I have the want to finish my remaining fics, specifically The Lost Guardian in particular at the very least, but I just can't solely be a sanders sides blog like I used to be.
I'll be here when that season finale comes out, but at this rate of progression, I think Thomas has overestimated the fact that this could very well be a series finale, not season finale. And I've come to peace with that, if only Thomas would be more transparent abt it.
Sure, Thomas has other content, but funfact, I've had very relatively low interest in getting super into it, there isn't the same level of comfort in shipping characters of a single person with the versions themselves when other characters played by other people are involved, especially when u know that they are alot of his v close friends. I don't ship real world actors together, especially if they play a character very close to representing themselves. The characters they play, maybe, but that's why I'm far more entertained and comfortable with animated media.
In short, I'm tired and burnt out and for now-for *whatever* reason- the silly lanky clown jesters from fnaf have more of a grasp on my brain than sanders sides does. I'm following the serotonin.
I may still create sanders sides content in the future, but getting maybe 100-500 notes on a piece when u have a fandom following of roughly 11.5k followers from over the years has spoken volumes on how active the community is rn. I'm not leaving, but I can't be stagnant and hyperfixate on this anymore after doing so for almost 6 years straight. Yknow?
And for those who have always left a comment, shared my work, interacted with me in any capacity over the years in this fandom, and have made my time in this fandom worth while, thank you. I love you. U have made every second worth it💜
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pyrriax · 10 months ago
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hello here to ask about the seraphim au again lol
what are wisps? how is disability handled among seraphs? what is the most common way for them to get disabled? how fucked up is spoke exactly? like does he have abnormally long limbs? does he have limbs that he really shouldnt? is there a way for the ones in the fray to get up to the vesper esp with all the ruin? are there any other weapons of war lying around aside from centurions?
this au is really interesting and i love finding out more about it :D
Hello welcome back! I'm happy to answer your questions i love talking about this thing ^_^
Yet another long post ahead, but I've gone ahead and answered all of your questions in as much detail as I can without fully spoiling anything! 👍
What is a Wisp? (Where do they come from, what're they like?)
Wisps are another common creature, originating from cast magic. They vary in size, shape, color, and type, although the most common are ones which have a tendency to either cause small explosions, or light fires. Because of the way their bodies are comprised primarily of magic, they are constantly expending this energy, and thus don't accumulate it the same way that most things do.
These wisps are a common pest in the Vesper, a little like rats, but also a bit more potentially damaging, as they're drawn to places with a high magic content and flow. Although, they're rarely found at the pools in the Fray. This is mostly because Centurions have taken to killing them on sight, since they are quite fond of feeding off the energy which is used to keep them functional. It's a special thing, and it's their favorite.
Once upon a time, they actually had a use, but now they're just considered a bit of a waste product from magic casting.
(Although, that hasn't stopped some curious Seraphs from wondering if it'd be possible to domesticate them in a sense. They aren't inherently harmful, even if they have a habit of starting little fires or blowing cracks in walls. Some wisps simply sap energy and laze about, and though they become rarer later on, these are the ones that stick around places the longest.)
Certain wisps expend their excess energy with mimicry and shapeshifting, some of my references for them are birds like European Starlings and Superb Lyrebirds. Often times, their mimicry can make them even more of a nuisance, especially before the Seraph's extinction, as they were known to lead Seraphim astray by mimicking distress calls and even the sounds of clashing metal. Shapeshifting-wise, they tended to prefer creatures of a similar mass, so most often they'd take forms no bigger than medium sized cats, since anything larger is significantly bigger than any typical wisp. These ones didn't often last long after being created, but they were well documented.
They used to be kept out of important places in the Vesper with gates and small spells, but as those diminished, they began to creep in once again. Their presence sped up the collapse, but it couldn't exactly be prevented.
How is disability handled among seraphs? (Along with a brief explanation of some pieces of Seraphim culture)
Overall, it's treated as something to be respected, as it tends to be the result of actions not the Seraph's own, or of actions that were for the greater good of either the Seraph, or the Vesper as a whole. But, there are certain things which are much more looked down upon, and that is typically things like blindness or missing wings. These types of injuries, and related disabilities (stunted flight, limited vision [in cases where the blindness is partial], etc.), are viewed as almost childish, due to the fact they're especially common occurrences for Seraphim youth.
Older Seraphs commonly deal with lower mobility, at least in comparison to their younger counterparts. While Seraphs will snip and bite at each other (both literally and metaphorically), they are still a social species and care for their ill and disabled. Typically, any care being done for a Seraph will be done by those closer to them, mostly their inner circle and occasionally those associated with those Seraphs.
In cases of lost limbs, for any reason (regardless of how it may be viewed), if all the injury does is heal over and become more of a typical stump, the spot will be adorned with jewelry, and even tattoos or specifically dyed feathers, depending on the specific spot. Rather than being something hidden, these things are typically decorated, highlighted as a show of life and living. This is a bit of a remnant of an old myth which was lost long before anything was written, but it speaks of highlighting these losses as a triumph of life. It's a little bit of a "this is our gift from the stars [in reference to an almost-god] and we must show our appreciation, lest it be taken from us." Along with that, it's viewed as a way of warding off Wisps and other pests from these vulnerable spots.
Common patterns & symbols in these types of jewelry include but aren't limited to: ferns / laurel, flowers (varying types depending on the city, although the most common ones in Vesper are lily of the valley and bleeding hearts), spirals, and insects (again, of varying types depending on the city, the most common ones in Vesper are beetles or millipedes, although the latter are much less common.)
These pieces are made out of a variety of materials, but typically the basis is metals, either cast and shaped or twisted wire, depending on the Seraph's preferences. Pieces of the grown stars used for Centurions are also common place, along with common crystals. Everything used is subject to change, as these are personal to the Seraphs and will reflect their preferences, and even their favorite things. Over time, this jewelry may be reforged and adapted to better suit the Seraph, as time goes on.
What is the most common way for Seraphs to end up disabled? (And maybe a little hint of lore, as a treat)
So, I've mentioned some of the most commonly disabling things, but how the hell does that even happen?
Seraphs have their nasty habit of fighting amongst themselves, which is only more common with the younger of the bunch. While it isn't pleasant, it isn't unheard of for these fights to reach the point of weak points being clawed at/out. Which often entails wings being at the least taken out of their sockets, and at worst clawed off. In the same thread, eyes are also a common spot to be gone after.
But, as time went on, these types of fights became less common, so scars and marks from these fights are more often seen on the fully grown Seraphs. At least, this is the most accepted answer. Though, the truth of it is that usually, Seraphs lost limb and life to the fights which were so often instigated. While it's been most attributed to overly violent youth, it was much more an effect of war. At least, that was before the Centurions.
After them, however, things shifted. Without nearly as many Seraphs out actively participating in the fight aside from those that remained to ensure the Centurions' function, the most commonly disabling occurrences were related to either overexertion of magic over a long period of time (leading to effects a little similar to chronic fatigue & pain) and flight related injury. Though, that was tied with... Poaching related damage to stars.
Damaged stars? Poaching?
As I've already mentioned briefly here, Seraphim stars became a useful weapon due to their properties. While I won't elaborate much more than that for some mild spoiler reasons, let it be known that Seraphs were once revered as gods, but this began to turn into resentment over time. But, what does a damaged star entail for them?
A Seraph with a damaged star (whether it be cracked or chipped, both having different but lasting effects) doesn't often live more than a handful of years longer, as the magic that typically circulates through their body will begin to stagnate. This causes to formation of a sediment of sorts that accumulates in extremities and places like the eyes, mouth, and will even begin to seep into the keratin in their body, as well as their bones/marrow, coloring any new growth anything from pink to deep blues and greens.
While Seraphs are known for having a variety of colors which naturally and commonly occur in their feathers and flesh, these colors are associated heavily with this type of ailment, and those with these colors are often avoided by some of the more paranoid. (There is no risk to other Seraphim, this is a lot like how people will avoid those they perceive as ill / sick even when they know it won't affect them.)
Cracked Stars (All pieces present, but with slight separation or small fragments loose): Slower overall progression, characterized by weakness and general lethargy, along with sharp pain and numbness in extremities as time goes on, since the magic that Seraphs rely on doesn't flow quite how it's supposed to, along with the appearance of the aforementioned colors, since they tend to live long enough for it to completely change their appearance.
Chipped Stars (Pieces are missing, typically from failed removal attempts): Much faster progression, often to an almost violent effect, as instead of accumulating slowly, the magic which would form a sediment will instead begin to crystalize rapidly, making them only really able to live about a year after at most. This can also be the most sudden, as a chipped star likely won't be noticed until there are Wisps circling the Seraph, and sharp pain and complete loss of feeling (a side effect of the magic that's basically pouring out of them, which will make them much like the Centurions in this regard, as they cannot contain the magic.)
Malformed Stars (Not injury based, but included due to the relation and similarities): Some Seraphs are born with malformed stars and will have coloration associated with cracked stars from the very start. Although, it's entirely possible that they can live for a while longer than those whose stars get cracked, as their bodies are given the opportunity to properly adjust, as well as the lack of excess magic directly leaking into their bodies. Varying from Seraph to Seraph, they can have much more volatile magic, or that's less potent than is typical.
So what the fuck is the deal with Spoke? (Why is he like that?)
Spoke is a case of a potentially good thing being used in the worst way possible. Grown stars (or artificial stars, or anything to that degree) are perfect for Centurions, being able to be used as a baseline for the creation of pseudo-personage, a pseudo-soul, if you will. But, the problem is when they interact with another soul. Natural souls will eat away at artificial ones, and this lead to an extremely volatile reaction within Spoke. Along with the issue of souls, human bodies are not exactly made to regulate the magic that comes with these stars, and it causes... Complications.
Caught in an odd place where he both does and doesn't even physically exist at all, Spoke is a little like the ghosts that've taken to haunting the library in the absence of Seraphs. Varying even minute to minute, he can go from looking a little off (almost a little uncanny, in a way. Limbs slightly the wrong proportions, just enough to ring as odd, but not completely distorted) to being almost unrecognizable as human at all, practically surrounded by a thick layer of ambient magic, which can make him look like a bit like a shadow.
Although, as time goes on, this becomes much less varied, and instead, it manifests in the beginnings of Seraph-like features, including an additional set of non-functional eyes. As well, there is a certain dark-green-almost-black that makes his extremities look almost necrotic, although they aren't. This is just a manifestation of the excess magic, much like how it looks for Seraphim with cracked stars. For a period of time, he had grown the beginnings of an additional limb (although, it never got far, as it began to become excruciatingly painful for him), but it was removed.
Spoke is basically in limbo between being alive and dead, which has had its own interesting effects on his psyche, and really, if any true Seraph were there, he likely would've been mercy killed to spare him from this. But, he's happy as can be, despite the agonies. Much like any other human with a star place in them, there is most definitely a noticeable mark that resulted from it, something which has only grown over time. A little like what could've just been a scar at the start begins to morph into creeping vines, looking more and more like they've been struck with lightning.
(This is probably the most subject-to-change-as-i-write thing here, since I'm not 100% set on the primary appearance of it. There are major differences between Seraphim-stars and Grown-stars, and one of those major differences is that Seraphim-stars are much more stable, as they've had a long period of time to be refined and cultivated. Meanwhile grown-stars aren't given that kind of time, and are only an approximation of the real thing. While they can heal and prolong life, they lack the rhyme or reason that Seraphim ones will abide by. They don't know when to quit. They will form tumors and create what I can only describe as an excess of life, they make people sick, they shouldn't be used on organic things even if it's the only option. There's a reason Seraphs will sooner die than use one. They are viable for Centurions purely because of the lack of organic growth.)
Let's talk the Fray (and a little bit about the War, shall we?)
is there a way for the ones in the fray to get up to the vesper esp with all the ruin?
Really, it depends on the scenario! Before the death of the Seraphs, going between the two places was inconvenient, but possible. Typically it involved making some kind of trade with one of the Seraphim in order to be brought to the Vesper, although this was rare. The handful of human mages that did exist were able to move freely between the two places, but they disappeared not long after they began to be noticed. Though, they made a little bit of a resurgence as almost ghost-like figures, after the Seraphs' death.
Seraphim were able to go between the two places, as they never lost their flight, but even those who struggled with it were able to use their magic in order to go between. Centurions were unable to go between the two, as they were designated their places and functionally left to continue that task ad infinium. Humans were a rare sight, but on occasion human merchants were known to get up to the Vesper, usually using crude airships.
are there any other weapons of war lying around aside from centurions?
To be a little ominous for the sake of not spoiling too much: yes. Yes, there are, and they are only getting worse for wear, and even if their creators are long dead, they are not. They're still there, waiting to be called upon once again, to lay the world to even greater waste. Slumbering giants, if you will. I'll be elaborating on these especially in the main fic I have planned, so this is a "wait and see" kind of deal ^_^
Also if you've gotten this far I want to point you toward some art that vaguely inspired the baseline I have for wisps because I love this art and it fascinates me!
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first piece is by ida lissner, second by tealnewcombart on etsy, third by tracy debenport!
i couldn't find the much more vibrantly colored type of almost psychedelic art that i've really drawn a fair bit of inspiration from, at least with the colors, these show a lot of the Shapes that i think of with them
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supernovafeather · 2 years ago
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No Future?
FO!Poe x Rebel!Reader
Content : enemy to less enemy, quick mention of sexual content (not explicit), only one bed trope and it's cold trope (?), angst.
Summary: Reader and Poe got stranded on an unknown planet and have been forced to cohabitate for several months and wait for a rescue team to help them out.
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The cold attempting in vain to bite your skin refused to weaken and your own stubborness started to falter. After over a month spent at hiding in a lone First Order tent in the middle of a perpetual blizzard on this remote planet, you realized how much the microcosm constituting your present life had changed.
“I've known opinionated rebels but you still deserve to be considered as their queen. Congratulations.”
Poe himself wasn't the same anymore and despite his dark uniform that got affected by the frozen bitterness from the outside world a while ago, he could have passed for a tired – and tiresome – Resistance fighter that stranded with his co-pilot. But no, he remained the First Order guy that crashed down just as pathetically as you did. And whether he liked it or not, he didn't have the qualifications to keep on taunting you.
“At least I'm not the one on the verge of losing my hands with some stupid plan.” You spat at him as you watched the man digging on the hard and cold ground in a tent corner.
Over a month in his company in such a tight space could have driven you crazy much sooner. The only thing that managed to keep you sane enough to protect your survival instinct was the surprisingly good entente between the both of you. The dozen of blankets of different sizes you managed to bring back from hasted expeditions conducted in the nearby ghost town also helped a lot, even when it meant you had to cuddle with a sworn enemy every night.
“Here you go, another stupid plan of mine,” he grunted, “tell me when I get clever for a change.”
“I'm only human, I have to talk. I can't keep silent forever.”
“And then you complain whenever I say anything and yet you say something as blank and obvious as the mere fact that you are human.”
Discussions formed a seemingly eternal circle in such an uninteresting environment. The morning would start smoothly in a sleepy and warm atmosphere as you had all the time in the world to wake up properly. Then you would eat some animal hunted the day before and protected by a layer of snow right by the tent entrance as you complimented each other's cooking skills. Then you would complain about each other's cooking skills and how awful those kind of moles would taste like anyway. Then arguments would last for several hours as you tried to figure out a plan.
At last you would fall asleep both on your side of the island of blanket filling a good part of the tent before gathering at the same spot to share some warmth. That, every day without an exception for over a month.
At some point you started to pray a god you didn't even believed in to get a loophole even if that meant your new companion's death. After all he was a First Order pilot that killed countless of your pilots.
“Just shut up for five minutes, or even for the rest of the day,” you replied sourly.
“Then move your ass from there and come help me!”
“There is nothing to reach down there!”
This predicament was certainly starting to affect his sanity as well. For a few days he has had that weird obsession of using an old broken shovel to dig a hole big enough to create some tunnel. He never really explained anything but it seemed to be a matter of expending the living space in this recluded shelter.
“Do you have any idea of the amount of energy you are spending to get that done,” you asked with a sigh, “we are running out of meat and they're getting rarer outside, and you barely progressed.”
“Bad faith.”
Swallowing back the venimous insults that threatened to leave your mouth, you lied back into the blanket as you watched him digging desperately. After two weeks he barely managed to take off enough dirt for the ground to come up to his knee level. Poe's hygiene declined quickly between the sweat and dirt and lack of access to a shower, and fortunately you were starting to get accustomed to that part of him – not that you believed yourself to be in a better condition yourself and maybe he deserved some merit for his tolerance.
Instead of arguing any further, you did shut your mouth but his grunts and muffled swearings were getting seriously on your nerves. Sir Dameron woke up in a bad mood and got obsessed and frustrated even more than usual about his tasks.
“Going outside.”
The metal sound stopped as he watched you put some thick clothes above your own rebel pilot outfit. Two pairs of gloves, three pairs of sockets, a damaged woolen hat and some protective old school pilot glasses on and you were outside, crawling to the area preserved from the blizzard thanks to your two partially disassembled that took the shape of a wall surrounding the southern side exposed to the hostile elements. The noises it created worried you to no end during the first week, but despite the windy scream and the metal parts creaking and trembling you now felt relieved. Finally. Poe shut up.
It created some narrow court behind the grey tent. Cold, sterile if not for the tiny grass growing here and there under the thich layer of snow, but comforting. You gathered some to put it down all over the thent edges so the breeze couldn't infiltrate the gaps. Here you were getting too hot with your clothes but you had no will to go back inside.
You didn't hate Poe. It was quite the opposite actually but living the same thing without anything new to say didn't permit you to enjoy his personality at its full potential. Such a warm soul was surprising for a famous First Order soldier and it hurt. He would be the kind of guy drinking some strong alcohol with his friends while making fun of your brothers and sisters killed in combat befire falling asleep like a drunk baby with a stupid smile on his handsome face, maybe with a gorgeous woman by his side that found him amazing for being himself.
You couldn't believe it. Poe followed you and was now crawling against the ground to get out of the tent in his pants and shirt, his dark hair still wet with perspiration.
“Kriff,” you exclaimed with your arms crossed, “go dig your hole if that's so important to you but stop harassing me!”
“Please help I'm freezing.”
You did as asked because he remained polite, your teeth clenched as you got him back onto his feet. The poor bastard seemed to have been boiling inside and some steam spiraled up from his skin as he grimaced at the temperature difference, his hair covered in melting snow.
“Don't tell me I need to tell you to go back inside to cover yourself,” you growled.
“I saw you were consolidating that stuff so I wanted to help.”
“I don't need help to add snow. I just have to bend over and pick it up. Go back inside you're going to freeze.”
“No. I like quiet places,” he argued.
“Enjoy it then.”
You gave up and walked past the few chaotic layers of metal surrounding the tent and finally you reached your favorite place on this planet. The blizzard died down just enough so the violent twirling winds couldn't blind you completely, and the nigtmarish landscape beneath your eyes deployed its full beauty for you only. Around 9 miles high, the gigantic blueish and whitish cliffs dominated the desolated scenery where nothing could survive apart some resilient and almost unknown viruses you wished to never get infected by. Poe and you got lucky to crash so high and in a concentred spot, at around 8 miles high. Down there you would have died in less than ten minutes. You could distinguish some grass patches under the thick fog. You had no idea of where you were exactly. Gigantic frozen cliffs surrounded that place and the eerie atmosphere now started to freak you out. Maybe Poe wasn't such a bad company. You mourned your rescue a few days ago. No one could get onto that planet safely, and no one could get off of it, especially with no ship.
“Booh.”
The pair of arms snaking around your waist made your heart drop almost at the bottom of the cliff but at least got you rid off your anxiety rising at the view before your eyes. Poe put his own polar clothes on and held tight at you as he talked next to your ear.
“Come back inside, the radar warned of a...”
The sudden silence knocked the air out of your lungs and you followed Poe without complaining. Usually whenever a blizzard died down it was the sign of a bigger one coming, so intense that nature itself had to breathe in shortly to concentrate all its strength on this cursed planet. Breaks only lasted for a couple of minutes.
After a quick run you got to crawl next to each other to get some moles burried deep down, then gather snow to seal the tent entrance completely.
“Here you go, now that's better.” Poe sighed in relief as he lied down on the blankets with his clothes soaked with melting snow. “Now we only have to wait for it to end. Nothing like warm blankets and dubious squishy meat here.”
“It's going to be hard for a few days, there's not much.”
“Not that kind of squishy meat but no problem if you want some.”
It was part of your life now, to laugh at that silly joke while knowing that yes, you were going to have all the time in the world to warm up with him again. You were condemned on that cliff and didn't know how long that would last.
No one told you how long or short forever could be, especially without any hope for a brighter future.
- - - - -
Thank you for reading, please reblog if you liked it ! ☺️
@queen-of-elves @laura-naruto-fan1998 @thepowerthismanhasoverme @justmasblack
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lucky-stone-me · 20 days ago
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It's time to summarize this year!
This post is more for me personally than for the blog, to track my progress, analyze and consider my mistakes. To realize what I was able to achieve in the past year and what I can achieve in the future. I am grateful to everyone who has supported me all this time! Every single person who signed up. Or just the ones, who visited my page, viewed my work, liked, reposted or left comments. It was all very valuable to me! Thank you for being with me this year and I hope to see you next year! Happy Holidays!
Next up, I'll be summarizing my blog for 2024:
Total we have: 4 artworks 3 animations 1 meme 1 post
I just started trying to actively blog this year. I tried to have some sort of regular schedule in my head and post at least once a month some art/meme or some other post to keep the blog active. The priority, of course, was artwork. Unfortunately, as you may have noticed I failed. the drawings were very few and with big gaps in between. The reasons for these gaps were many factors, from trivial laziness and personal matters to lack of time and other problems. There are also logical reasons for the lack of content - it's that I decided this year to learn how to make animations.
It was a bit of a spontaneous, though expected, decision. I just didn't think the time for it would come right then. I had some idea how to do animation. I always wanted to learn how to do it. I had drafts of animations I started that I abandoned because I didn't understand how to do them. I didn't have the strength or experience to complete them. So I abandoned it for many years.
But still... Somewhere around the end of 2023, something clicked in me. I wanted to do something more than a drawing. That now I had more experience and I had the energy and time. That I was ready to make my first completed animatic. Simple, crooked, with lots of mistakes. But it was my little full-fledged project that was finished.
I did all three animatics in three different programs. Sometimes using one with another, when I changed programs and persistently trying to understand how the new program works right in the process of creating an animatic. Until I finally chose one that I'm happy with for now.
“Love me Again” was the first animatic that was made in exclusively one program, which you can tell by how fast it came out compared to other animatics. Although it's also not as detailed or colorized in comparison to others. But it goes longer than the others combined, it has more frames and still looks neat even with that sketchy drawing. That's a measure of progress in my opinion.
What would I like to do next year?
- Set up an art schedule. I won't push myself too hard, but don't expect anything supernatural from me either. I'm going to try not to bog down the blog as much as I have this year. In fact when I saw the gaps I was horrified ahhh. I'm going to set myself a goal of not dropping the blog for more than two months. Meaning, something every two months I will definitely post.
- Start maintaining at least one more social media account.
- Organize my tumblr page (update my avatar, write bios, and so on)
- Start drawing holiday themed art for holidays (at least some of them)
- Start drawing artwork for other fandoms Yes, Ena has been my main fandom, but I'd like to step outside of comfort and try my hand at some other fandom.
- To continue to improve in animation and drawing I liked the end result of the year and how I've progressed and want to continue to do so from here on out.
There are many more small goals, but these are the main ones for now, so hopefully in a year from now when I read this I'll be pleased with myself. Hi Lucky from the future!) Even if all of these can't be achieved, it's no big deal. We do it at our own pleasure and at our own pace. If not this year, it will happen next year.
If anyone is reading this, thank you for sticking around until now. I hope you're having a good day! Thanks for listening! See ya!
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oliviabutsmart · 1 year ago
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[Bonus Physics Friday?] Plagiarism and Originality
So you (the reader) may have watched the recent HBomberGuy video. I have too! And it's honestly a great (yet long watch). I highly recommend you read it.
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After reading the video, it inspired me to add my own comments onto what I think is important to keep in mind about plagiarism and it's relevancy to this blog.
Unintentional Plagiarism
You yourself may eventually have to write something in the future. Whether it be code, a school/university project, text/literature, or even an academic paper.
I'm certain you've had some anxiety in the past (usually in school) of "what if I wrote something that was plagiarised?" when submitting documents to your teachers.
This anxiety often arises because when you are doing an academic assignment, the subject matter has already been covered many times over, so many times you may end up stumbling your way into writing something that already exists.
It is, in fact, possible to unintentionally plagiarise. But it often comes in a different form.
As seen in his video, often times, creators end up sharing video techniques and ideas when creating new work. More broadly, a lot of our art or 'content' in-general is in some-form derivative.
Here's an example from my own posts, expressing a very common cycle in how we develop our opinions or knowledge on things:
You hear from someone, or in a video, or by reading in a book a particular opinion/fact/idea/expression
You keep the idea in your head but forget the source you found it from
Eventually, months to years later, you recall the idea you had and write it down in a public place
You don't credit the source of the idea because it's lost to your mind, you think you yourself came up with the idea
This gives the idea that your ideas are completely original, but are instead pulled from another source. This is what I mean by "unintentional plagiarism" - often you yourself don't even know it's happening.
After writing 16 Physics Friday posts, I can now at least recall a few times where this has happened to me. Usually by way of me re-watching a video or seeing a video on youtube after the fact, where I'm like:
"Hey, I remember watching this video ... Hey, this is where I got that idea from!"
There are two examples that I can list right now, in fact:
In post #8, the definition of "Energy is the capacity to do work" came from a video by 'Professor Dave Explains'' on youtube. I cannot recall which video I got it from, but I do know it was a debunk
The idea for post #9 came from a video by 'Answer in Progress' titled "how fahrenheit fails you"
In both examples, either small sentence-level statements or whole topic ideas effectively get "copied" by my mind. However there is a core distinction between what I have labelled as unintentional plagiarism, and real "you did a word crime" plagarism.
Our Textual Fingerprint
It is a fact that almost all of our ideas are copied from somewhere else. Teachers in high school, internet pundits, other posts on social media. These, combined with our cycle of forgetting the source, create an effect of "plagarism"
What's important is that all of these ideas amalgamate, and get filtered through our own brain. I might have gotten the "energy is the capacity to do work" definition from one guy, but it combines itself in my head with every other association and factoid about energy I know.
Not just that, but it filters through my own head and my own words into different explanations, different expressions, different language.
The way you yourself construct ideas in your head is why we can consider it okay to express an idea that is still somewhat derivative. Because our own words, our own expressions garble that idea into something that is distinctly our own.
And that's the core point about avoiding plagiarism, both unintentional and intentional.
The best way to avoid plagiarism is to write it in your own words Source: every teacher in high school
Every person possesses a sort-of fingerprint. It exists in the way we write, the way we talk, even the way we communicate in other mediums like auditory (music, speech) or visual (performance, artistic, video) formats.
This fingerprint is detectable to most people. It's how you can tell when someone uses AI to write an article. Because ChatGPT has it's own literary footprint.
If my next Physics Friday post was written by someone else, you would be able to tell. Because the way I write is distinct. The errors, the mannerisms, the explanations are all constructed in a way that make the way I write unique to others.
Why does plagiarism happen?
I've seen plenty of examples of plagiarism in the past. In fact, I remember in Year 9, someone copied my entire essay on Australia's role in WWI, and I got off with a slap on the wrist for being so naive to share it with another student.
And with this experience, I've found that there are two main reasons why someone plagiarises, at least in the academic realm:
They have a lack of respect for the subject matter or their victim
Laziness or apathy
This is something the above video makes a point of as well, adding on a drive for success. Something which I wouldn't say is as common in academic media.
Really, the best way to stop yourself from stooping to the level of intentionally plagiarising is one of two things:
Force yourself to write something original, to write in your own words
Don't write it. Take a break or reconsider why you feel the need to do it
This is often why I end up writing opinion posts. I'd rather do that than be a piece of shit and copy a Veritasium video. Seriously, it's so tempting to just do a topic that Veritasium has already covered - he's a great creator and always picks all the good topics.
How it's relevant to Physics Friday (And how Wikipedia is actually a decent source)
All of my Physics Friday posts are written in my own words, usually all at once or in two seperate sessions on Friday. There is occasionally the odd quote from Wikipedia or other online sources. But the text is usually my own.
I mostly use other internet sources, like Wikipedia, or others, to effectively re-jog my memory. It helps remind me of what a particular mechanism is.
I don't cite them because usually I only read small sentences and then go "ah, now I recall the textbook's worth of information stored in my head". My external research never ends up becoming a real source in a proper sense.
The only exception is Wikipedia and my own lecture notes.
While my posts are not copy-paste descriptions from Wikipedia, the website does help guide me on particularly difficult-to-understand subjects. It helps me decide what exactly to talk about. Or check which ideas are often more common.
One example is the dark matter post (#4). I used it as my primary source for deciding on what was the most notable dark matter candidates to talk about. And the section headers are derived in some way from their article.
You can generally assume that for all of my physics posts, I have used Wikipedia in some way as a knowledge-check, to ensure I'm not spitting nonsense.
In fact, I recommend Wikipedia as further reading after looking at my post if interested. And to donate to their organisation, which I have done on several seperate occasions.
Definitions and Single-Sentence Quotes
Outside of images, the most common place where I directly quote from other sources are in the definitions I've used. I cannot actually remember if I've ever done it before on tumblr, but I've done it in the past for several academic writings.
Definitions are tricky. Because, especially with precise scientific definitions, there are only so many ways to construct a definition that:
Removes all ambiguity from the phenomenon
Perfectly describes all or most instances of the thing, and excludes any non-instance of the thing
If I'm not coming up with the definition myself, I generally aim to find the source of the definition. Something that already fails in some ways, as explained above.
The Easy Part: Citing a Source
When writing academic papers, sources are probably the most annoying part of it. Bibliography management is a pain.
When writing these Physics Friday posts, citing is the easiest thing I can do. There's no requirement to follow a strict standard like the APA.
Often giving the author's name or a link to the original content is enough information to credit the author.
This is why you see an image credit or video credit under each of my Physics Friday posts. Sometimes also on meme posts too!
Should we cite our memes?
This is an interesting question. No seriously. Take a second to think about this question properly.
A lot of our memes (and porn) come from artists on youtube, twitter, tumblr, etc. And I have found countless times where I'm like "huh, I like this guys' work ... where can I find more of it?" and just turn up nothing.
We appear to think that memes are not just public domain, but un-creditable public domain. Someone on youtube can copy a guy's voice-over of a meme, turn on ads for that video, and rake in cash. The original artist ends up getting none of the credit, or money.
For a lot of memes, it makes sense to copy it without credit. But the above paragraph applies to a certain subsection of memes, particularly the higher-effort ones.
Personally for me, when I have the capacity to share a meme I try to credit the original artist. Because I believe that person deserves the credit for making the funny.
At least for us, credit means we ourselves gain from it, we can look up the original and find more of the same.
My posts aren't trademarked
It's obvious to say, but "Physics Friday" is not limited to me. My goal with these posts are to get other people into following on and making their own style of posts in physics. To generally bolster the community.
If you want to do the Physics Friday thing, you do not need to ask for permission. That's all I need to say.
Conclusion: Why did I write this?
I've just spent the last hour writing a tumblr post after watching a HBomberGuy video. And now I am just wondering why I did that.
I guess I had a lot of things to say about plagiarism and writing your own work.
Oh well.
Look out for next Friday where I'll probably do an opinion piece on tau vs pi!
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bluravenite · 1 year ago
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You can totally ignore this if you want, i just saw that poat you added to about fandom bullying and idk, I am just... gah, i wish this fandom wasnt so cruel. I had so much fun here when i first joined and i didnt really know what i was getting into except for the fact that I loved ghost! now i still love ghost, but i am in the process of de-ghosting my blog. I feel like every day I see people bullying one another in this community, and I feel like every time i post my writing, I risk drawing attention and being bullied. Congratulations to those assholes! they'll kill the fandom because folks will be too scared to share work.
I know fandom always has some drama, but none of the others I have been involved in have been this cruel. I dont know if people are just getting crueller, or whether Ghost somehow just attracts cruel people. I hate to think the latter, because the band is drenched in love. But i fear to think the former, though i worry it might be so.
I don't think it's the band itself Hun, I think definitely it's the sort of bubble the fandom itself has created.
Cruel people exist everywhere and it's unfortunate when they end up finding each other in a bubble, ghost has gotten so big that its really hard to regulate and you will have lots of unregulated environments where people don't feel comfortable.
You as a member can do what you need to endure YOUR safety, but that sometimes isn't enough or as effective when other triggers (i.e. hate anons) are still present in the environment.
I completely feel you and I am so sorry that you've been through this and feel like this as well... Ghost used to be my comfort fandom, and I am still so in love with the romanticized idea of it, I miss talking about our OC ghouls with friends, writing and reading about them and siblings of sin life in the abbey, about ghouls going on tours and being so silly with each other. About the love and romance that allowed people in the fandom to find new ways to love themselves and explore their sexuality and even bodies. I still think that was beautiful.
Unfortunately we lost that energy at some point, maybe with the hate anons to the writers, attacks to artists, maybe with the hypersexualization of presenting gay male ghouls and dislike for the female presenting ghouls. Maybe with the over-sexualization of unmasked members of the real band, which should've never happened.
The other day I found this clip from a Neil Newbon stream (voice of Astarion in BG3 and Heisenberg in REV) where he goes on to say some headcanons are just.. wrong, and you have to learn to separate fact from fiction. These are ultimately characters that the original creators wrote, while you as a fan artist have free range to give them physical designs and traits you also have to be aware that you need to keep a somewhat level of separation, AND decency between your own headcanons and the real canon.
I think ultimately that's where this fandom goes wrong... There is no separation because people get so fucked up into their headcanons in their made up mutual bubbles that I feel like they never go out to touch grass and maybe take a minute to evaluate their content.
Not that I'm saying it shouldn't exist. Just that it's important to understand WHY it was made, WHY, it exists. Is this ghoul hypersexual?? Okay well BUT WHY????? Who are they, how do they feel about it, when did they realize, how did it affect them??? That's never talked about, it's always "ghoul has lit of sex with same sex ghoul again!!!!" It's like plotless porn at that point, fetish. It becomes gross.
I ended up kinda ranting here but I made some good points so I hope this at least helps invite more discussion about what the frick has been happening here lately..
Lots of love and encouragement to you anon, and to anyone else who has felt this way at least once in the fandom. We deserve a decent creative space💀
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