#dumping my brain

[fushiglow]

gege akutami has ruined september forever.

[fushiglow]

I want to add that words like 'attention' and 'exposure' and 'interaction' muddy people's understanding, because they're rooted in the commodification of art. As the person above suggests, I think we need to move towards talking about these issues in terms of 'connection' and 'communication' and 'finding shared meaning' instead.

Almost all of the mainstream stories we're exposed to are produced under the 'culture industry', so most people are only acquainted with art in a commercialised form — art that was created with the intention of selling it from day dot — and they naturally come to believe that this is the main purpose of art.

This understanding is so normalised that, when regular people share their art with the world, we default to assuming that there's an ulterior motive (usually wealth or fame). However, the vast majority of artists will never make a penny from their work and most of those people aren't even seeking to. Even so, it's a commonly held belief that artists are 'greedy' for seeking engagement with our work; that the process of creation should be fulfilment enough for a 'real' artist. This draws a false dichotomy between an artist's quest for personal fulfilment and their search for connection with other human beings.

When you're used to parting with your hard-earned cash to enjoy art, it's perhaps reasonable that you expect it to impress you. When you purchase popcorn at the cinema, you want to feel it's worth the price you paid for it — and the same goes for your movie ticket. Buying and consuming is the norm in our culture, but that norm is built on the concept of a fair exchange.

It's unfair to apply that approach to work shared by an amateur artist for free, because the exchange isn't fair and never will be. Within a capitalist framework (which art doesn't belong in anyway), the burden of time, resources, emotional labour etc. falls almost entirely on the artist. Yet, our consumerist tendencies are so deeply engrained that we impose the expectation upon artists that they must 'earn' our enthusiasm (even the notion of 'paying attention' has been distorted by this idea, as though 'attention' is a currency) — which is how we end up with viral tweets insisting that AO3 should have a 'dislike' button because authors get 'too used' to receiving purely positive feedback.

When artists complain about receiving unsolicited criticism, we get, "Don't share your art with the world if you can't take it" — as though it's our duty to take feedback from strangers and use it to 'improve' according to the standards of people who are not trustworthy peers.

This is not what artists are seeking when we share our work with others. Moreover, it's so far removed from the reason we create art in the first place.

If it were about the personal fulfilment we get from the process of creating, we'd have no need to share our work with the world — and we often don't! A huge deal of art is created for the artist's own practice or progression (alongside more meaningful reasons) and never sees the light of day. So, when we do share our work with others, it's because we're seeking connection and understanding and, yes, praise sometimes. However, seeking praise isn't antithetical to those other forms of communication — because that's all this is about at the end of the day: communication.

When we share any form of art with others — whether it's music, writing, visual art — we're communicating something about ourselves to the world and hoping that it reaches someone who resonates with it. Creating art can appear (and feel) like an egocentric endeavour, and perhaps it is egocentric to pour all of yourself into something and ask people to give it their time and attention.

However, is it egocentric to compose a song for someone? Is it egocentric to write them a letter? Is it egocentric to craft a handmade gift? These are all just ways to communicate our innermost feelings and thoughts to others in the hopes of developing our connection with them. Everything is communication when you're a member of a social species — so is it egocentric to communicate with other human beings?

TL;DR: Showing some love to the artists whose labours you've enjoyed for free will never be too much to ask. In fact, it's the bare minimum of human connection, which is pretty much the only thing we've got. Go leave a comment on that fic you've been loving in secret.

someone I follow on the bird app just announced they're starting a very exclusive private fic server because they and a bunch of other people want to talk about how much they love the fics they're reading, and as an author can I just say that a really great place to talk about a fic you love is in the comments for that fic

I understand that people are trying to create safe spaces, but as the number of comments that I get on my fics dwindles with each passing year, knowing these spaces exist where my fics are being discussed, places that I am excluded from, makes me want to write fic LESS

I mean I guess who cares, right, because if I stop writing, there's 10,000 other people that will continue...but if you participate in a fic "book club" server and you say nice things there about a fic you loved, maybe copy and paste that into a comment on AO3?

the only thing fanfic writers are asking for in return for hours of hard work is attention. please don't rob us of the one thing that we hope for when we hit "post"

[noodles-and-tea]

Last part whoo!!!

PART 1 / PART 2 / PART 3 / PART 4

[tickleepuppy]

Kiss my worries away? Fuck my worries away? Choke my worries away? Sloppily makeout my worries away? Pound into my worries away? Tie me up my worries away? Breed me my worries away? Edge me my worries away? Overstimulate my worries away? Make me cum my worries away? Use me my worri-

[paintedcrows]

Assorted Gravity Falls doodles!

[wardingshout]

alttp ish tegaki dump

[collophora]

Do yourself a favor and go read the entire fanfic work of @fanfoolishness

(In order: Under sun and shade, Blind Side, and Breathless (patching up is one of my fav too, I just had no cool sketch idea for it)

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

hope you feel better soon!

I am riddled with ailments, but I stay silly!

[ryssbelle]

Had a silly dream where JD and Floyd came back to the troll tree before the last trollstice but after singing killed their grandma and decided to doodle and expand upon it a bit

Clay never left the tree but was too scared to return to the families pod since he didn’t want things to go back to how they were before, he did try to find his brothers during the escape but got separated by the cave in.

John Dory was the one to find Clay and see him get caught by the cave in, when he came out of the tunnel without Clay and holding his wristband they all just assumed he was dead. Even so JD still searches for Clay with the hope that he might’ve escaped and is alive out there.

They know Bruce is alive but after JD got the post card he assumed Bruce didn’t want to be found

Some more doodles that kind of show their dynamic

Also-

JD always brings home souvenirs for the brothers both as an apology for being gone for so long and also because of this:

[iwantmochisoup]

- june 2024 sketchdump -

[sharkysherbetz]

Got bored tried to make my own Miku design

[fushiglow]

How's it gloing?

I haven't spent much time on here recently, so I thought I'd check in with you guys! I don't tend to speak about my personal life online, because I don't really want to. However, I've received a few messages that seem easier to answer with a little (long) update.

In short, if you ever want to know how I'm doing, simply check how long it's been since my last update to Over the Threshold! We're currently approaching three months between chapters so ✨ yeah ✨

Work got Very Bad™ to the point that I had to take time off with stress. They hired a consultant to help me with my "ADHD specific struggles", only for the consultant to turn around and say "yeah, the issue isn't with the employee, no one can do all that". wbk.

Employers are at least trying to take appropriate action but the transition period is rough. I fully burnt out, so easing back into my responsibilities without getting frustrated and self-conscious about how little I can now manage each day is hard. Of course, mum has been undergoing cancer treatment throughout all of this too. Though the worst is (hopefully) behind us now, it's been rough, pals!

I'm doing my best with Over the Threshold, but that story is a different beast. I try to follow the inspiration wherever it takes me, because I've never found forcing it to be helpful, but I really want to move forwards with this fic now! I'm determined to make some significant progress once chapter 12 (the biggest problem chapter yet) is out of the way, so wish me luck!

It also hasn't helped that my special interest series came to an end rather unexpectedly during this time. As embarrassing as it feels to admit it, I've spent quite a bit of time grieving the end of JJK. I found my feet in the fandom here on Tumblr, and I'm sad knowing it'll never be the same space now it's over. Without the yapping and theorising and nerding out, I'm not sure how to make use of this place really, but while BlueSky seems promising, I miss Tumblr a lot. I really want to spend more time here again, so I think it's time to dust off the old queue. Reckon I've got stuff from last December sitting in there!

I know I've left a lot of people hanging in this time, and I'm genuinely sorry for that. However, I've been preserving every last drop of energy for the thing that gives me most joy: writing. My fics have brought many wonderful friendships my way, and I'll never stop being grateful for that, but trying to keep on top of all the different things demanding my attention is a huge part of the reason I burnt out.

At the end of the day, I'm here to create first and foremost, and I have to prioritise that for my own wellbeing. I really hope you understand ♥️

Okay, enough of that! Let's end on something less serious! A lot of the content I used to create here is no longer viable or appealing, so aside from unwanted yapping about my own writing, I'm not sure what to post about! Is there anything you'd like to see from me on Tumblr specifically? And last but certainly not least, how are you?

A reminder that my asks are always open — love you guys!

[lilacthebooklover]

typing "bill" into the mcgucket labs computer leads you to the "jazzy triangle meets a square square" video. bill is a triangle. 'square' is a slang term for someone boring & rule-abiding and also ford's face is shaped like a square. in this essay i will

[saintzweig]

you've had a crush on art donaldson since the day you joined the stanford tennis team during your first year, while he was in his second. and with his charming boy-next-door personality, it was no doubt that everyone else had a crush on him.

you were in the same friend group, all within the tennis team. he was nice and sweet to you, but he was nicer and sweeter to everyone else. everytime you'd hang out, he would always be flirting with atleast one person in the group but never with you. at first you came up with reasons, maybe it was because you joined the group last, maybe it's because he doesn't know you as well as everyone else, maybe it's because you're younger.

if someone says that they're cold, art is pulling them closer or giving them his jacket to warm them up but when you do, he only offers to turn up the thermostat. someone's thirsty? they're free to drink out of his bottle but when you are, he only offers to fill up your bottle for you.

okay, maybe you're overthinking this but as time goes on you're starting to feel like he's deliberately leaving you out, maybe you did something to him? maybe you did something he didn't like.

but you've been nothing but nice to him, always striking up a conversation and asking all about him. perhaps you were too nice that it weirded him out.

so with that conclusion, you decided to avoid him. staying busy and far during trainings unless you two were grouped together, and when you are you barely spoke a word. excusing yourself from hanging out with the group, telling your friends that you're too busy with school works at the moment. only saying yes if you know he isn't coming, and when he catches up you just do your best to sit as far away from him as possible.

you didn't know it yet but it upset him, tashi knew though. she pulled you aside while you were at a diner after practice. "what's going on between you and art?"

"huh?" you tried to play dumb, but really there was nothing to play about consider you don't know anything but your side. "nothing?"

"you've been avoiding him, why?" you only gave her a sheepish look, which then implied that there was something.

"i'm not, and isn't he your boyfriend? he's always with you and whatnot" you really didn't mean to let the bitter tone slip as you replied to her. she only laughed as if the dumbest thing just came out of your mouth, "i'm dating his best friend, he's like that with all his friends"

so maybe you're not his friend, "oh"

before she can say anything else, art came up from behind, placing his arm around tashi's shoulder. "just paid the bill, you're riding with me, tash?"

she locked eyes with you before shaking her head, "nah, i'm catching a ride with the girls. she can ride with you" she nodded her head towards you, and your heart broke at the way his expression changed. was it discomfort? disgust? disappointment?

"oh, that's alright. i'm taking a cab back to campus" you swallowed the lump in your throat. tashi only elbowed him at the side, prompting him to say something.

"no, no i can drive you, it's fine" and that's how you ended up on his passenger seat, blinking away your tears as you faced away from him. it was awkward, maybe that's understating it. art's drumming his fingers on the wheel, you can't see it but he looks like a fish trying to figure out what to say to you and backing out the last second. maybe you're asleep? he can't see your face that well.

until you accidentally let out a sniffle, art's head whipped towards you. "are you– are you okay?"

you really tried to keep it in, there's nothing more humiliating than scaring the boy you've liked for years by crying out of nowhere, while he was driving you back to your dorm. his question only drove you to sob harder, your hands pressed against your face to hide your tears from him.

"y/n?" you only shook your head, hiccuping as you sob. you don't even know what you're crying about anymore but you can't stop.

art breathes out of his nose, pulling over the side of the road before facing towards you. "hey, look at me?" you sniffed, refusing to turn to him. god, you must look like a mess right now.

you quiet down at the sound of his sigh, your sobs fading and replaced with hiccups. how could you face him now?–

art grabs your wrist gently and pries them away from your face, well, there goes the answer to your question. his eyes scanned your tear stained face, the way your eyes look up at him through your wet lashes, your nose red and lips plump. he could barely let out a word at the sight "i–"

you cut him off, "i'm sorry" you sniffled, "i didn't– i just"

"hey, it's alright" he pushes the hair away from your face, tucking it behind your ear. even in your state, you couldn't help the way your stomach fluttered at the gesture. this is the first time he's been this close to you after all, probably not with everyone else. has he done this with your other friends? is this how he comforts them when they cry out of nowhere? they're probably not stupid enough to cry like this, they probably don't even have any reason to–

your thoughts were cut off as he lowered his face to meet your gaze, "y/n? y/n?" you blush, shaking your head and pulling away from his touch. "sorry, just zoned out for a sec" you wipe your tears with the sleeve of your shirt, and art frowns in the driver's seat.

"what's going on?"

"no, nothing. i'm just tired, had a long day i guess" you laughed it off, only to come out as a weird noise that further embarrassed you.

"is it me?" his voice sounded smaller than usual, defeated even. your head whips towards him and he looks so ... anxious? "you've been avoiding me"

"i– no?" he scoffs, his fingers anxiously tapping on the wheel. "i just– fine, i have been avoiding you" you sighed, you figured since you've already embarrassed yourself by breaking down in front of him, you might as well do this now.

"it's just ... how come you're nice to everyone but me?" he raises an eyebrow at your question, "am i not nice to you?"

"no, i mean ... well, you're kind of ... flirty with everyone ... and it's making me feel left out" you wish the seats would swallow you right then and there.

"oh"

oh.

should you get out of the car and just walk to your dorm and leave your friend group and maybe leave stanford and maybe leave your tennis dreams behind?

"i'm sorry" art ducks his head, "i didn't mean to? i mean, no i did– not that i was purposefully leaving you out– well, i was but i didn't mean to make you feel left out, i just–" he sighs, dropping his head onto his hands. "i didn't want to make you uncomfortable, and my friends know me well enough to know that it's never serious and i don't want you to think that as well"

now you're confused, "you don't want me to think that you're never serious?"

"i mean, if– when i do flirt with you, i don't want you to think that i'm just playing around" he lifts his head and meets your eyes.

"and i just get really nervous around you that it makes me all jittery and i don't know, i was scared that i might end up doing too much and you'll think i'm weird so i just ... don't."

you shake your head in disbelief, "wait, back up– what do you mean you don't want me to think you're just playing around?"

he shifts his gaze and ruffles the back of his hair, "i know this is really stupid and you might hate me for it but i've actually ... i actually have a crush on you"

"and i know it was cruel of me to flirt with everyone right in front of you and i have no good reasons for that, a part of me thought that maybe you'll initiate something because i was too much of a pussy so i'm really sorry ... and you can call me stupid and dumb for as long as you want ... if you'll still have me?"

you stare at him in disbelief, but the way his usual charisma is gone and is replaced by a jittery and blushing art led you to believe that he's sincere. "so i can call you my idiot?"

[sketchy-beck]

Been working on a lot of Hellsing sketches lately. Anderson and Alucard have my silly brain in a choke hold.

^ Also a bonus image of Alucard looking like a wet cat that someone left outside for too long.

[batsyheere]

When thinking on timelines with DC and Danny Phantom, I always figure Dick Grayson and Danny Fenton being around the same age makes sense. Like, that 90-2000s tech and culture, the formation of the Justice League and the Meta Acts? It would make sense to have a time period with no basis for such things when it concerns Danny not reaching out to other heroes or for the Anti-Ecto Acts being slipped into law. And it wouldn't be weird for Batman not to hear about all the ghostly happening of Amity Park when he would primarily be focused on Gotham (and somewhat the League).

It feels like a good set up for Danny being a great mentor for others based off his own struggles as a teen vigilante with no preparation or proper support. He can finally reach out to other heroes, lend his own experiences and power to a fight even if he does decide to start retiring from the vigilante scene.

Then you have Dick Grayson trying to strike out on his own, form his own identity, and I feel like Danny would be weirdly intuitive? He immediately clocks Dick as a teen vigilante and is just there for him in the ways he always wished someone had been for him.