#if i am thats FINE but i dont think i AM and i think that the way that the populace has grasped onto buzzwords with a vice grip is
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Been trying to make a thick winter hat all damn weekend and have gotten approximately nowhere very slowly.
First was gonna do some cables (good way to make a thick hat), but my brain is mush and I just couldn't get math and tension to co-operate. Then I figured, bit of single color brioche is also very thick. Can't do brioche anymore apparently, as it wasn't working. Fine, I'll just crochet it--except now it's not warm because it has too many holes. Also, I've been using a very dark yarn for this bc its what I have, but I'm starting to suspect that not being able to see my stitches has been the problem this whole time.
So...now idk what. I still need a thick winter hat. Also need a pair of mittens and a wheelchair blanket as well as to actually finish that wheelchair bag (even more important now bc I ripped a huge hole in one of my prototypes on Friday and I dont want to fix it). Augh. So much to do. So little brain and even less arm strength to do it with.
I'm going to rethink my yarn choices and try for the hat yet again, I guess.
#i have been SO COLD waiting for the bus this winter#and due to bus schedules im regularly waiting for over half an hour in the freezing cold in the dark multiple times a day#also i think i am just colder in general now which i suppose isnt surprising#so my cold weather clothes that were fine last year are seriously not cutting it now that im in a wheelchair#unfortunately im not doing much spinning due to . yknow. all of it. so im pillaging my handspun hand dyed sets#that i had planned for other things which i will probably not be well enough to ever make anyway#so whatever.#it sucks having to shift my mindset from 'i can spin whatever yarn i need' to having to cobble together what i have#not because i have nothing to spin but because my hands just cant fucking do it#whether thats just for now or whether its from now on is impossible to know but easy to guess#yeah idk man i was not prepared to lose my body but you just dont get a say in these things. at all.#disability#knitting#spinning
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don't you want to be a cult leader? - danyal al ghul au
this is mostly a joke post but i thought it was funny and had to share so--
his first mistake was, obviously, inheriting his father's inability to see an injustice and stand still. -- actually, danyal's first mistake was his lair being so big. a mountainous island with a large temple in the center resembling his old home in Nanda Parbat? With sprawling foliage and rivers and streams and waterfalls galore? What was he going to do with all that space? Let it go to waste? He had plants there! Native trees of the ghost zone growing from the soil! He couldn't let it all be left unchecked!
So naturally after helping a fellow teenage assassin ghost -- who he later learns is named Akihiko, -- from Walker of all people, he sent them over to hang low at his lair until it was safe enough for them to wander around the Zone. Walker couldn't get through Danyal's astrofield if his life depended on it, and trust him -- he's tried. Danny was clearing out debris from his stupid transport vans for weeks.
Honestly it wasn't so bad, he and Aki really quickly became fast friends and Danny loves having a sparring partner close to his level again -- he hasn't had this much fun fighting since he left the League. Aki was very dedicated and levelheaded, the both of them clicked really well because of it.
Nonono, the real trouble began after Danyal met some long-passed League members and allowed them to come join his island as well. Apparently they had made a few enemies of the zone, and maybe Danyal still felt some loyalty to the League. He couldn't just let them be left to rot. Their zealotry could be overlooked so long as they kept it contained and helped him take care of his island.
And it.. snowballs from there? He meets a teen squire aptly calling himself Ambroise -- whether that was his living name or not is yet to be seen -- who died during feudal france, who is just about as dramatic and passionate as every french stereotype makes them out to be. He calls Danyal "my moon and great muse" -- which is both flattering and little uncomfortable, but Danyal's grown up in the League as the Grandson of the Demon Head, he is used to mild worship. he passes it off as nothing more, nothing less. -- and while his energy is overwhelming on the worst of days, he helps Danny draw out of his shell more in ways that Sam and Tucker still struggle with.
Him and Aki butt heads a lot, but the two seem to hold the other in at least some positive regard, so Danny doesn't worry too much about them fighting while he's gone. It only becomes a mild issue when Aki also begins calling Danny "my moon". It's a little sweet, so Danyal brushes it off.
Then he takes in a troupe of ghosts some time after he defeats Pariah Dark and they begin calling him "great one" just as the yetis do in the far frozen. This is where he meets the twins -- a pair of sibling ghosts who call themselves Trixie and Missy (short for Trick and Mislead) -- who aren't quite as passionate as Ambroise but more energetic than Aki. Eventually they also start calling Danyal "my moon" and attach themselves to his hip, even within the living. They like to hide in his shadow and cause trouble for the rest of the students. He makes sure they don't hurt anyone.
He's pretty sure Aki is jealous, same with Ambroise, but he can't be too certain other than the fact that they become much more lingering (re: clingy) whenever he visits the island.. Something he's trying to do much more often these days due to the increasing amount of people living there now. Since when did he become so popular?
Then there's Pēnelópeia from the Greater Athens, who ran away from home and joined his Island after he ran into her while she was being chased by Skulker -- and he's pretty sure the reason was because of her chimeric appearance. Her strange eyes and mismatched wings and lion's tail and talons. She assimilates into his friend group very easily, she gets along well with Ambroise and Trixie and Danny usually finds the three of them climbing the trees to pluck the most fruit from the top. They can fly and he knows it, but they prefer to climb.
Then finally there's silent poet Akkara who comes from ancient mesopotamia, who gets along most with Aki -- which is no surprise there considering their similar personality dispositions. he watches Aki and Danyal fight each other and leaves comments on this or that that he notices. He writes Danyal poems on clay tablets and leaves them by his room.
They're one big mismatched group of outcasts, and Danny's got the other ghosts on his island to tend to, because they're living on his island and he wants to be hospitable even if he struggles with that. But he spends the most of his time with them.
Sam and Tucker are making fun of him. Tucker jokingly tells him 'careful Danny, at this rate you're gonna start a cult'. Danny really wishes he had taken that joke more seriously.
He just. keeps. collecting people. Wayward souls lost in the zone, looking for shelter or refuge from something or other -- whether that be another hostile ghost, or a past afterlife, or just a purpose. Danyal finds them, he takes them in, offers them a place on his island until they are ready to leave. Many seldom do. He's not complaining -- he has the space, and it feels like it's only ever growing.
His close friends, his "inner circle" as he's heard the others call them, keep insistently calling him "my moon". He starts calling them his stars, because then it only feels fair. They're his stars, this is his constellation. It becomes a thing; little star halos begin forming behind their heads, picking them out from the rest. He loves them so much, it's hard to place. Sam and Tucker are also his stars, but they reside in the living realm, they're his tie to Life. Meanwhile, his friends here know what it's like to be dead, and sometimes its nice to relate.
Those living on his island keep calling him "Great One" and he's beginning to notice zealotry in their care for his island. He really, deeply appreciates it. His close friends gain nicknames -- as his stars, it's only natural for him to pick them out from the cluster in the skies. Akihiko, his Sirius and bright star. Trix and Missy, Castor and Pollux, the twins and troublemakers. Ambroise, his zealous Antares and close friend. Penelopeia, chimeric and loyal Vega. And Akkara, his Arcturus and strength.
It's ridiculous how long it takes for him to notice; he is, of course, a deadly trained assassin. He is meant to be observant -- and normally he is! But somehow this becomes a blind spot. One that becomes too big to be dealt with by the time he realizes it.
He should've noticed when Aki, his Sirius, stood beside him one day while Danyal looked over his island and saw the sprawling spirits carrying on about their afterlife and bowing to him as they saw him, and said: "I looked down into the depths when I met you; I couldn't measure it." They aren't one for flowing prose, it took him so off guard he was silent for over a minute before he finally spoke.
Danyal should've recognized devotion for what it is, and yet he didn't. He should've recognized it when Antares began spouting praises about him, crowing about his radiance and resplendence to the heavens. He just brushed it off as Ambroise being Ambroise. He should've recognized it when Trix and Missy nearly broke Dash's leg after he knocked Danyal's books out of his hands, he excused it as them being protective. Of them coming from times where such violence may have been customary -- after all, that's what he used to be like. What he was still like, sometimes, when his emotions nearly got the better of him.
He should've noticed it when the people living on his island followed his word like gospel, looked at him like he hung the stars in the sky. When his friends gifted him a shawl with the moon phases delicately embroidered into it, with silver, shimmering thread and moving stars lovingly stitched into it. Their constellations seen clear as day in the dark fabric. When he found small shrines dedicated to him -- but they lacked any image of him beyond stones carved to look like moons, so he ignored it. When the religious imagery began popping up.
He really, really should've noticed it when a bunch of cultists accidentally summoned Antares, and Antares had turned to him when he arrived and called them heretics. But he was so centered on the fact that they had kidnapped one of his stars, that he hadn't paid much attention to what Ambroise had said.
Sages say that faith is blind, they should also say faith in you is even blinder.
It really only hits him one afternoon while he's sitting in Sam's room studying with Tucker, Missy and Trixie lounging at his feet, Aki sat on his right, Penelopeia braiding his hair, Ambroise draped against him, and Akkara lurking over him. Its one of the rare few times they're all in one room together.
It hits him like a bolt of lightning. He looks up from his textbook. "Oh Ancients," he says in no amounting shock. Everyone looks up to him.
"I've become my grandfather."
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#danyal al ghul au#dpxdc au#dp x dc au#dpxdc prompt#ive been playing cult of the lamb recently and you can tell#anyways i thought this was funny to think about. its specifically danyal al ghul bc that makes it even funnier#tfw you accidentally become a cult leader. rip to you danny you have a cult following#not at ALL an accurate depiction of a cult but i still think its funny. innaccurate cult depictions. ur in too deep to change it now danno#sam and tucker: hey dude... this is a cult | danny still learning how to People: what. no. these are all my friends and refugees.#his inner circle are all Insane about him they just show it in different ways. Sirius is as equally zealous as the rest they just don't#show it as much. which has mistakenly convinced danyal that they are the more logical one. no danny. they would kill for you#danny: i am being hospitable | sam: you created a cult | danny: i am being hosPITABLE#i dont like ghost king aus but i love danny being in positions of power it just has to feel earned. 'accidental kingdom acquisition' is my#favorite trope it just has to be done correctly. 🫵 build that bitch up with your bare hands and not realize until its too late you fool#'becoming a world power by accident and im in too deep to back out now'#danyal. a raised assassin (has no threshold for normal behavior): *sees utter devotion towards him* yeah this is fine and normal.#danyal: yk i dont see this ending horribly. *goes and collects more followers* yeah this is totally cool. welcome to the constellation#danyal: *saves a few people and houses them in his lair* (everyone liked that [to a worrying degree actually])#his inner circle: my moon! | danny: my stars :]#danny: ive become my grandfather. | danny: ... | danny: idk how to feel about that honestly.#those poor cultists that kidnapped antares were subjected to a 3hr tangent about 'the radiance of the Moon and his resplendent generosity'#before danyal found him and got him home. who were the cultists summoning? who knows! but they got Objectively the Worst out of the#constellation to summon by accident. actually they're all bad there's no picking who. they're all various amounts of Unhinged Danny just#Never Realizes It because he is also Unhinged and thinks some of this shit is normal.#like yeah thats totally normal behavior he has no questions whatsoever. this seems like Typical People Stuff.
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im just imagining nandermo in a very enclosed space like for some reason they gotta be chest to chest pushed up against a wall and its awkward for a moment but then nandors eyes are just boring into guillermos and guillermo has that uncertain but unwavering stare too, and is this what is gonna take for them to kiss?
#at this point im just running all scenarios in my mind and spilling all my thoughts about them into the ether#i swear i am not fine#they kiss nandor blurts out i love you please dont ever leave me please dont die#and they share their feelings while kissing and bang against that very wall while telling the other how much they mean to them#nandor expecially is a flood of YOURE SO AMAZING GUILLERMO I LOVE YOU PLEASE DONT LEAVE ME PRAISE PRAISE PRAISE PRAISE#im going INSANE over them hahahaha#guillermo is too stunned and enjoying the physical sensation to be so close to nandor and to see nandor be so vulnerable#nandermo#wwdits#what we do in the shadows#atp im just saying whatever insane shit is passing through my head at any given moment. but thats what tumblr is for basically you will#forgive me about it. i just am a very physical person and i think a physical moment is always very good to unfuck a totally fucked dynamic#like talking of course would be preferrable but these two have so much shit under the bridge#that theyre sort of stuck in this ‘the love is requited they are just idiots’ cycle#annnnyway#bye#some messy liveblog tag#comment#*
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#huehghhhuheugh i was hesitant to post this one#dont think im gonna tag it though#but man. im getting kinda tired of seeing the same argument over and over in the tag#and its like! ok! thats a valid reason! you're fine not to watch it! no one is forcing you!!#please stop putting it in the tag and on my posts!! ive seen it 1000 times!!#honestly this goes for nearly any series btw#dont put your anti-series post in the MAIN TAG#people go into the tag to look for content not to see people going ohhh im never gonna watch this because of XYZ#whats the point of it? who wins out of this?#of course its your blog and your tagging system but i am asking nicely not to flood tags unwanted#ok ok ok rant over sorry i just needed to get it out of my system for a bit
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the dredger.
a comic about closure.
(buy the digital copy of the comic anthology here)
creative notes:
#i wrote my best stuff when i was at my very worst mentally#both RED and Patchwork Canary were written during an emotional pit#i struggled for a while. thinking about that#especially since those two came so easily to me back then and its so difficult to write anything like it these days#but i think id trade being happy over writing Only Bangers any day#closure#i made this comic series about the worst period of my mental health ever and now its over#its 10pm#and i dont know who i am#and thats fine. ill figure it out as i go.#thank you for reading#and thank you for your support#i promise my next project wont be as sad#stillindigo art#comic art#stillindigo comics
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tw flashing images, implied death
please for the love of god reblog this, it took me 3 days
#this is what happens when i let my impulsive thoughts win. i listen to this song like 4 times and this is what happens#i kind of panicked at the end bc i wasnt sure what to put there but i think it turned out alright#i played with some basic effects on premiere this time. mostly scale and position because i didnt want it more complicated already#btw i am completely aware of how macaque might not have actually been killed by wukong this time around. although i dont really fear#being wrong cause im here for that angst baby! and on that note we could be completely wrong abt wukong and macaques early relationship lol#its cute to imagine they were like really close friends though. again i dont fear being wrong if this ages away from canon thats fine#if we get more content for them id like to make another one of these lol. id like to do one for mk with its alright by mother mother.#CUASE THAT BOY NEEDS THERAPY. maybe 'life' would also work for him based on his s4 arc.. hmmm....#myart#animatic#lego monkie kid#lmk#monkiekid#lmk macaque#lmk six eared macaque#lmk sun wukong#lmk monkey king#sun wukong#six eared macaque#shadowpeach#monkie kid#lego monkie kid spoilers#lmk spoilers#lmk season 4 spoilers#lego monkie kid s4 spoilers#lmk swk#tw flashing#flashing#eyestrain#implied death
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Actually, I hope Jiaoqiu stays blind (at least for a couple years in our time) and just bullies the Xianzhou alliance into inventing disability aids and treating disabled people better
#hsr#honkai star rail#hsr spoilers#jiaoqiu#i want to make it very clear that this is not a Jiaoqiu hate post#i am simply a disabled gal (chronic pain + shit eyesight + neurodivergent) who wants more disabled characters in the game#and with blindness in particular- that rant from the sanctus medicus lady really stuck with me#as did the treatment of the kid#and curing blindness irl is absolutely something that would be great and i think its fine to explore in game too#but its frustrating to watch the game act like thats the only way blind people can live their lives without constant suffering#especially in such a futuristic setting#like if you got space travel i think you can also make cains and railings and audio messages and braille#and I'm just hoping thats an intentional flaw of the xianzhou and not just writers ableism leaking through#with hsr's recent track record of disabled characters though i am learning towards believing its probably the former#I'm just saying that if mail delivering robots are a regular thing i dont see why other forms of robot assistants couldn't
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steddyhands modern au inspired by this post:
(1828 words, themes of kink but nothing explicit, established blackhands & gentlebeard-centric. Happy Pride!)
Stede picks up leatherworking in the wake of his divorce. He's not exactly sure how it ended up being such an important hobby for him, only that he had always admired the intricate designs on his horse's best bridles, and with little else to do with his time, he decides to give it a go.
It's rocky going at first, but he's having fun working with his hands for the first time in his life, and there's a sense of satisfaction in seeing the design come to life as he works. With practice, his skills improve, and he learns how to make things that are truly one of a kind.
He starts off posting his pieces online, as a way to reach fellow enthusiasts, but quickly finds himself with a rather large audience. Stede’s style is unique, and, after many requests from his followers, Lucius encourages him to make some more basic pieces he can sell. It's not about making money for Stede, but another way to meet new people who share his interests- as Lucius keeps telling him, it's sad that his personal assistant is the main person he talks to these days.
So Stede sets out on a new adventure, and has quite the time designing a new range of patterns for the market. He makes purses, belts, bracelets, and, most importantly, dog collars- all still with his unique designs embossed into them, of course. He rents a booth at his towns monthly craft fair, and very quickly finds himself with a new group of friends in the other regulars- Pete, his usual neighbour, who sells an array of wooden figures he carves, Roach, who runs a stand for his bakery, and Frenchie, who isn't actually a stallholder, but is almost always busking near his friend Wee John’s stand of knitted goods, bringing life to the market even in the pouring rain. There's also Buttons, another regular at the market. Nobody is exactly sure what he does there- he doesn't sell things, or seem to buy anything either, but rain or shine, he's there with the birds.
Stede’s been doing this a few months by the time June rolls around. As he's setting up his stand, he notices that the area is much busier than it’d normally be at this time of morning. Lucius, who got roped into helping run Stede’s stall somewhere down the line (despite his protests that this is not what personal assistant means… But hey, he got a boyfriend out of it, at least), reminds him that there's the parade today, too- not realising that Stede had no clue there was a parade today, and especially not that it was pride. Stede immediately jumps to fretting about the amount of stock he’s brought, and Lucius takes the cue to escape, saying he’ll go and grab them coffee (but really, he's off to flirt with Pete)
Lucius is still missing when Ed stumbles across the little leather stall. Stede’s just ran back to his car to fetch his last boxes of inventory, and by the time he returns, Ed’s already begun to narrow down his choices. Stede greets him, starting to tell him that they're not actually open yet, but before he gets more than a couple of words out, Ed’s exclaiming “You're a Kiwi!!!”
The two of them smile at the shared recognition, and Stede says he’ll make an exception, just for Ed, and asks him what exactly he was interested in. Ed tells him that he's looking for a collar “for his boy”, and points out the particular design he was looking at. It happens to be one of Stede’s favourites from this latest run of work, a fact he mentions to Ed. It leads them into a discussion about Stede’s craft, and Ed’s Izzy, and then everything in between. Ed’s listening intently to the things Stede’s telling him, completely drawn in by the process, and by Stede himself. He watches as Stede stamps Izzy's name into the collar, and Stede even lets him have a go at one of the stamps.
Lucius reappears sometime in the middle of this- only to immediately retreat again, seeing Stede engrossed with Ed. He sets up camp at Pete's booth opposite, watching this man flirt intensely with his boss- and Stede flirt back just as hard. Does Stede even realise he’s doing it? Lucius had known Stede was gay since before Stede even admitted it to himself, but this is on a whole other level.
The pair stand there so long that Izzy comes to look for Ed- the two of them are manning a float on the parade with their crew, and it's past time for them to get geared up. He's already worked up, frustrated to have been left to set up everything alone, when Ed had just gone to see if he could get them both coffee. So maybe he's a bit of a prick, approaching with a brash “where the fuck have you been, Edward”, to which Stede brings the same energy, giving a bitchy “Ed! Do you know this guy?” Izzy tenses, ready to snap, but then Ed cuts in, excitedly telling Stede that this is “his Izzy!” Which confuses the hell out of Stede.
Forgetting his earlier attitude, he asks Ed if he “really named his dog after his friend”, only to be met with confusion right back from Ed at where the hell Stede got the idea he had a dog from. Stede gestures at the bag with the collar in it, to which Ed has to tell him, “oh, no, that's for him.” Ed tells Stede that they're here to run a float for their local leather society, and while Stede is certainly shocked by what Ed’s saying, he's not finding himself… uninterested. It's simply that he’s never even considered any of this before, especially not that people would use the things that he made for this, but Ed sounds so enthusiastic about it all. He tells him about how his friends would love to see Stede’s work, about how classic leather gear is always so fucking boring- but not Stede’s stuff, no, Stede’s stuff is “fresh” and “fascinating” and unlike anything Ed’s ever seen before.
Ed's enthusiasm is incredibly infectious, so when he invites Stede to come back to see their float, he readily agrees. It’s a concept Izzy’s less than enthusiastic about. He doesn’t really want to bring this man who’s dressed like he just walked out of a HOA board meeting to their kinky little corner of the world, but he is having a lot of fun watching Stede squirm, so decides not to raise a protest. He does demand he gets his long-overdue coffee first, though (Stede pays for it- as “compensation for him distracting Ed from his job”, he says, not giving Izzy a second to process before he's tapping his card)
By the time they return to the float, Fang, Ivan & Jim are waiting for them, all already geared up. Stede is stunned silent at the sight for about 5 seconds, before he starts actually looking at the quality of Jim’s harness, and proceeds to go off about the poor quality of the craftsmanship, about how the hardware is tacky and completely the wrong choice with this leather, how his “ten year old daughter could do a better job!!!”
There's complete silence from the group, until Izzy, of all people, bursts into laughter at Stede’s audacity (and, the fact he was staring at Jim's tits completely unabashedly, like he hadn't even noticed them in the first place). Izzy's laughter sets Ed off as he tells the group about Stede’s misunderstanding- “you didn't say he was a person!” “I mean, he's my dog”- and soon everyone's having a friendly giggle at Stede’s mistake.
It's somewhere in the middle of the retelling that Ed remembers that this whole thing happened because he was buying Izzy a gift. After a moments fumbling, he presents Izzy with the collar- It's a rich, deep black, embossed with a rolling pattern that resembles waves. It’s made from a firm enough leather to take the tooling, and to remind Izzy that he’s owned while he’s wearing it, yet still soft enough for long term comfort. Izzy's eyes immediately lock on to it, an unreadable expression coming over his face, and Ed turns it; first so he can really see the design and Izzy’s name embossed into it, and then so he can see the small “Ed ♥” on the inside of the collar, right over his swallow tattoo.
“I did the heart,” Ed says to him softly, intended only for Izzy’s ears. Izzy's eyes flick up to Ed’s, and he raises his chin to give Ed the room to put it on. Ed buckles the collar around his neck almost reverently, a test of the tightness turning into a caress of Izzy's neck. It's a perfect fit.
It's as though something comes over Izzy; so twitchy and abrasive earlier, now silent, staring at Ed with a look akin to worship in his eyes. He obediently tilts his head for a kiss as Ed's fingers move to his chin- It's a sight to behold, and one that has Stede intrigued. He wants to know more about this lifestyle, and these men in particular. He wants to be the one to put that expression on Izzy's face.
The moment breaks as Ed and Izzy pull apart, and Ed calls for the crew to finish the last bits of set up. Izzy shakes himself a little before running off to bark orders again, but even still, there remains a softness to him that wasn't there before.
Ed turns back to Stede with an apologetic smile, already obvious that he has to get going. Before he can speak, however, Stede jumps in -“My business numbers on the card in the box… I'll be around all day”- Ed’s smile turns more genuine at that, promising to stop by if he gets a moment, and that he’ll send his friend's Stede’s way- “if he wants that kind of business.” Stede says that he does, actually- that he's seen a whole new world already today, and, while he was a little taken aback at first, he can feel the passion Ed and his friends have for this life. If there's one thing that's ever mattered to Stede, it's other people's enthusiasm. Maybe he doesn't completely understand yet, but he would like to try.
One year later, Stede’s back at the market on pride weekend again, far better stocked for the crowds this time around. Lucius is finally free to spend the day flirting with Fang & Pete to his heart's content, now that Stede’s roped his own boyfriends into helping him run the stall- and into modelling the merchandise. Ed loves that part, while Izzy needs a lot more convincing, but the puppy eyes Stede & Ed weaponise against him make a very good argument.
#Despite what this post may imply; i actually know very little about the art of leatherwork#Im also not saying Stede got into leatherwork because of his repressed leather kink. But im not not saying that.#(This is not to say that i personally think leather gear is boring- i totally see the beauty in simple/plain designs & i get that the#style is all about the look of straps and hardware. but also. i know in my heart Edward ‘likes a fine thing’ Teach would be head over heels#for fun unique pieces. Its the whimsy of it all)#(not to turn this into OFMD meta but. You can like both; in fact. You can have the leather AND you can have the florals)#ALSO. dont ask me why izzy would find a big difference between wearing gear on the float vs the stand. it just felt right#(ok i do have reasoning. its the directness of it. in the parade its very part-of-a-crowd; every interaction in passing. running the stand#is direct interactions + they are specifically looking at Him. it feels different. but he does it because he loves his partners)#nyxtalks#ofmd#our flag means death#edward teach#stede bonnet#izzy hands#israel hands#blackbeard#blackhands#edizzy#gentlehands#stizzy#gentlebeard#blackbonnet#steddyhands#fanfic#sort of... i dont really consider this fic; more. scenario description but ill admit this ended up way closer to fic than i planned#but the weird stylistic choices are because. this wasnt intended as fully fleshed out fic.#i am not a writer & i dont want to be. im just a guy with ideas over here; and the best way to share ideas is through words#(Please dont count the commas per sentence ratio. Thats between me & god)#also. I cant believe i wrote something that can be tagged as gentlebeard centric. Who am i.
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Pretty sure my parents think I'm a heartless freak but like idk what I'm really supposed to do about that-
#like do they WANT me to cry#about death and stuff#idk#maybe not cause theyve seen me cry over way lesser stuff#but i feel like they see me as a lil heartless freak everytime somethinf actually big happens and then#my reaction is just like 'ok :/'#urgh#anyone else just not....feel it?#anyway all this to say my grandpa died#:/#i dont really?#like idk shit happens man#also this is not a vent#i just feel guilty because im not like...sad?#i feel worse about the heartless freak thing#it makes me feel like im a bad person#i think that regardless#but thats like a whole other issue#anyway#ramble over#/gen i am fine and this isnt meant to be a vent
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i would like to say my ideal PJO adaptation (if i was being physically forced against my will to have to pick a live action adaptation over an animated one for some reason) would be a combo like writing of the musical + casting of the show + visuals of the movies
BUT the show actually does have the playwright for the musical as one of the major writers for like three episodes and that did nothing for it. so...
#pjo#riordanverse#pjo tv crit#i do love the casting for the musical lots and lots though#it was really good#i do also have some nitpicks for show casting but they're largely inconsequential#like majority i very much enjoy and think are cast well#i only have one i'd say im actually disappointed with and that's Poseidon. idk he just feels. bland??? does that make sense?#like idk maybe it's the costuming but im not getting Sea God *or* Fishing Dad from him#like i think i kinda see what they were going for and i saw some gifs of him in another show where he plays a pirate and its like#okay. *little* bit better. but idk im just not getting Poseidon from it#in general most of the immortals in the show dont feel very Immortal(tm) but thats definitely mostly just the writing/show itself#not any reflection of the casting#my only other two are i would have liked plus sized Clarisse. i am VERY sad we didnt get that#Dior is a VERY good Clarisse though so i'm not too upset about it. i like her Clarisse energy. the yelling is fantastic.#my most controversial pjo tv take is im still meh on Walker. like he's fine. but like he's kind of Just Fine to me so far#its probably mostly the writing being bad but he hasnt grown on me as Percy yet. i can tell he has the energy though in interviews n stuff#and the main trio dynamic in interviews and stuff is *very* good. i just wish the show writing was better#because the casting IS very good but they have so little to work with. you can really tell theyre trying their best#i like to joke the show would be better if they just set the cast loose in the woods doing in-character improv#like its clear basically all of them know their characters SUPER well. id watch 8 episodes of in the woods pjo cosplay improv.
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K or N for Joe and/or Nicky
K. On the edge of consciousness.
Yusuf wakes slowly, so slowly that he can’t see and isn’t even sure he can open his eyes, only half-sure he still has eyes, and that’s how he knows there’s something very, very wrong. He can’t move, can’t hear, can’t even smell anything. He doesn’t remember exactly what happened to him, but every part of him is burning, and he’s fairly sure the weird aching sensation in his head is his skull knitting itself back together, which. He really, really didn’t need to know what that feels like.
There’s a scraping in his chest when he breathes in, but at least he’s breathing.
Where is he? He could be anywhere. He could be in the middle of the street, could have been dragged away from the fighting from someone who had seen him breathing through a wound that should have killed him immediately. When he wakes, what will he find? Will they have taken his weapon? How long has he been dead?
Will Nicolò be able to find him, if they are separated? Will he even try?
Slowly but steadily, he starts to hear something: a high pitched whistling that sounds like it’s coming from deep inside his own head. The darkness begins to lift, leaving flickering amber lights across his vision, and a shadow in front of him.
There’s a voice, too, one that sharpens into words as Yusuf’s hearing begins to return. He doesn’t understand their meaning, but the cadence of them and the voice itself is familiar.
“Are you awake?” Nicolò asks softly, switching to Arabic.
Yusuf tries to make a sound in response. Whether it’s audible he doesn’t know, because the only noise he can really make is a rasping exhale, but Nicolò hushes him anyway.
“Do not… you can be slow,” Nicolò says. He’s more comfortable with the sounds of the language now, but still doesn’t always string sentences together well. “We are safe. I am here.”
He’s made aware of where his hand is by the feeling of Nicolò reaching for it. Yusuf manages to make an actual sound this time, but still can’t form words. Nicolò squeezes his hand gently.
“I am here,” he says again.
Eventually, Yusuf’s skull seems to piece itself back together fully, and his vision sharpens, letting him see that they’re backed into the corner of the two remaining intact walls of a house ravaged by fire, Nicolò crouched in front of him with his sword in hand. There’s a trail of blood leading to where Yusuf is lying now, and a section of the room that has collapsed. He can piece together enough. Nicolò would have had to drag him over here.
This time, he manages to make a sound, even if he can’t quite form words. Nicolò looks down at him over his shoulder, and there is blood on his face and in his hair, and only then does Yusuf notice the bodies in the room.
“Okay?” Nicolò asks.
Yusuf manages to nod, and it sends a spike of pain along his spine. Nicolò turns slightly to look at him properly.
“You are almost done, I think,” he says. “You did not… you were asleep for a long time. I did not know if…”
“Nicolò,” Yusuf finally manages, hoarse.
“Rest,” Nicolò says. “I am here.”
(letter asks)
#neon answers#scriggle-scraggle#neon writes#the old guard#kaysanova#me personally i am obsessed with the mental image of nicolo crouching with his sword in front of yusuf while he's recovering#what happened to yusuf: wall fell on him#nicolo COULD have kept fighting but he's physically shielding him from anyone who might try to get to him while he's healing (incredibly#vulnerable) and thats well. Something to me. is this well written ? i dont know. i am feelin something abt it tho#this is like uhhhh somewhat pre relationship . the other thing is that nicolo is deliberately trying to speak arabic so its easier for yusu#bc like. as someone who tries to regularly switch between languages. i think its probably Not Easy to work in a language youre still#learning (italian) right after like. Dying with your brain barely online#thats why his senses dont go back btw. brain is healing. so thats why nicolos doing that#NOt that you all desperately needed to know that but i wanted to let you all know anyway#thank you for the prompt!!!#also i know whatever position nicolò's got his hand in to be able to hold yusuf's hand AND still face outward is super awkward but#i wanted the image and he's immortal it's fine
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Since you said it's ok to send you random ask, i've always found your "monsters" design to be really really gorgeous, and I wanted to know : in any form of media you've interacted with, what's PEAK monster design for you ?
i have been thinking about this ask alot bc ... i dont ... know? theres a problem with what counts as a monster really too, most are either some sort of anthro/furry or the horror gore type of monster that instills you more with disgust than awe
i guess theres some i really like but idk if thats what id call 'peak' (though its rarely JUST the design but their vibe and stuff too);
(its a lot of zelda.. sorry)
Eldra, Farodra and Naydra (engl Dinraal, Farosh(?)) though Eldra is def my fav one of them, i like how they are a little more less typical dragon- with the fur around the neck the floppy ears and kinda goofy face yet manage to be the most ethereal, awe inspiring creature i have ever seen in a game with how they act and are presented as (in BOTW!!! do not mention anythign sonau/zonai with stupid magic pebbles to me about them i will manifest worms into your tea)
Leunen (Lynels) (botw) -i could not find a better picture wtf, fav are white and silver ones) FINE they had some pretty neat new horn designs in totk- idk i just like them alot, rather simple if you think about it, horse lion plus horns- but its so well put together it just kinda scratches my brain in a good way (also how intelligent they clearly are, like the way they fight and act and also even their death animation is so??? huh?? you are just gonna treat them like any other mindless monste- *remmbers they treat ganondorf even even worse all things considered* .. nevermind you're good)
'Beast' Ganondorf (twilight princess) its my favorite beast ganon design (even if it technically is just kinda a man boar .. again) though if ww gan had a non puppet beast form that one would most definitely be my fav lol (i will not get over the fact that some descriptions call this a hideous beast EXCUSE ME???? WHERE???) (honorable mention here, darkbest ganon from botw, pig on fire but it looks cool as fuck)
Nimbusgarde (ww) .. (engl .. darknuts?) do i need to say anything? (i could throw alot of ww design here) not sure if it counts as monster but they are not human so ????
the pathless bosses- (here in order, Cernos, the Godslayer, and Kumo) all of them are rad as hell (except for the final version of the godslayer ... liek im sorry but it looks to boring compared to any other one lol) again not just the design but man do i love them
since i dont know what would count as a monster or no i could just list my fav characters here bfmjbfmjsbmj like radahn (elden ring) is just kinda a zombie, aurelion sol (league of legends) is a space dragon, the forest god in princess mononoke, Narisha (skyward sword- sky whale)- i could go on but this post is long already (honorable mention to Omus in nausicäa, weird bugs but also something divine, though it is much more how they are treated and the vibe etc)
in all honesty though i cant think of one that i would describe as perfect, what i want of a monster design is to be ... cool but also a little weird, big hulking monsters that have something off about them and something that makes them 'other', but also not, as much as i like bloodborne, just bloody gory messes of rotting flesh, AND not just as a monster to kill, i just crave a game or otherwiese piece of media where the cool monsters arent just there for you to kill- the perfect one i guess would be something kinda big scary weird and off but while non verbal clearly not a mindless beast?
and here is the thing; my own characters do not furfill that, my designs are really rather conservative, much to my dismay, anthro of a mix of animals, maybe an extra arm thrown in- Eadrya, one of my favorites, is really just a blueish furry (yes they have fur) and their demon form is a mix of seals and catfish with some extra arms, too many teeth and a mouth that goas wayy to far (if they want) - Shargon is a feather dude with extra arms and his demon form is really just a chinese type dragon crossed with a bird, throw some darts at the color wheel, done
together with my problem of my monster characters losing their 'otherness' vibe within the story rather fast bc the majority of my characters are non human and speak and you see them in all sorts of emotions and parts of life- they lose that divine, unknown vibe and i HATE that that happens, i want them more akin to the forest god in mononoke but thats not possible unless i start from scratch
and i really dont mean to make myself look bad to sound self depre- ... however you spell that; i really am rather dissatisfied with my own designs but mostly just roll with what i got bc i never seem to be able to actually achieve what i want
even my redesigns often really make things LESS interesting (unless maybe the og was just ... human, but they are blue eyed with golden hair and white so that makes them divine you seE-), the skyward sword dragons as i redesigned them made them much more classical dragon, in part intentional bc i was drawing a connection of them becoming the botw dragons at some point, but by all means the canon design is much more weird and unusual than what i did with them, you could apply the same to even demise, his canon design might seem a little uninspired but really what did i do? inject him with some classic satan spice like that makes it in any way less stereotypical evil demon ??? lol
im sorry this post devolved into whatever this is but i really am trying to answer sincerely, i am confused about it myself, what counts as a monster, what doesnt, there must be more that i really loved but why cant i think of them, why do i design characters like this when i really want something much more different, i dont know, i feel like my brain is in a cage, why do i keep making things less interesting in an effort to make it interesting, am i falling into the corporate trap of cool sells who am i what am i doing
(theres a zelda artist with a style so strikingly genuis in shape, color and just .. DESIGN that i want to chew my nails off bc i cannot design like them, their designs and redesigns are so different yet sensical and so full of crisp shapes i have never seen before it drives me nuts and i would want to give them a shoutout but i think they dont like me so aaaaarhekjbfhgdknbgdfklbg)
#ganondoodles answers#hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#this ask was so innocent and nice#what did i do to it#me trying to think of my favorite monster design spiraling into me realizing i am making things often more boring than the og#and in general just dont achieve what i want to even with my own creations#i have infinite possiblities of creativity at my fingertips and yet what to i draw#blue furry :)#i feel like an ant that just experienced cosmic horrors of realization#(to be clear- having infinte possibilites and yet deciding to just draw furries is FINE AND VALID if thats what you want#(do -I- want that though??????????????????????
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*grips Shen Qingqiu by the shoulders*
aren't you tired of being nice? Don't you want to crack under the pressure of the system and the robbed autonomy of being forced into a role you had no choice in but have to play anyways? don't you want to buckle under the realization that, to you, no matter what you do your life is going to end in a horrific death? Whether that be under Luo Binghe's hands or the System's?
Don't you want to realize that no matter all the good you have done and the lives you have changed and saved, you're still standing at the ledge of a cliff with a sword to your disciple's chest?
Shouldn't it be you at the edge instead? Balancing on the crumbling dirt's end of death on either side, and you can either walk into it or be forced?
don't you want to go apeshit?
#I AM SO NORMAL YOU GUYS I PROMISE *visibly foaming at the mouth and gritting my teeth so hard you can hear them crack*#svsss#scum villain#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#scum villain self saving system#HI YES I MAY NOT HAVE READ THE NOVEL AND ONLY BEEN HERE FOR A WEEK BUT I AM. OBSESSED. FIXATED IF YOU WILL#luo binghe standing at the edge of the endless abyss and he sees something snap in his shizun's eyes like metal creaking under#the pressure of the deep sea. or like heat rising too quickly. the steady slow snap of someone hanging on by a thread.#i dont think i've fully understood sqq's characterization howEVER. i think i've got enough of his character down to try and twist it the wa#i think could happen. forgive me if this isnt in character or anything ajhf#anyways i love isekai anything and i think the system could slowly drive someone who didnt ask to be here insane#SY adjusts rather quickly from what i've heard but what if he DIDN'T. what if it wasnt fine what if he was trying his best and it was#taking its toll because apparently trying his best just wasnt enough. his stubborn refusal to view the people around him as people#but as characters following a script is very frustrating to me but also it works in my favor for this. look at the best way to break him is#*stares at SQQ* i think he should go apeshit. as a treat. skin a man alive SQQ. bite someone. rip out their throat.#i know thats prolly not his character but what if it COULD be. what if it IS. people are so nuanced and niche and can change at the turn#of a dime and SQQ has been forced into an unfavorable position and frankly traumatic experience. he could change or he could not and#isnt that FASCINATING? to erode or to stand tall. are you copper or are you a canyon. will you change colors and stay the same or will you#crumble and shear and become something new? when facing the elements when facing the inevitable what will you become?
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What a worthless animal
#oc: siggy#first image is babies attempting to figure out their ideal limb count#anyway having a bit of a 'never trust how you feel about your life at 3am' moment but i think the artfight brain plague is beginning to hit#dont worry about me im fine#just feeling a lil bad about maybe not being able to clean up the revenges i would like too and theres sooo many i didnt even get to sketch#and am only at like 50% of how much i 'scored' last year so it makes me feel a lil eh like im not doing as much#but ultimately i did way way more revenges even if it mightve been a mistake LMAO so at least thats something#although i feel bad cause i didnt even revenge some of the coolest ones i got!!! augh!!!!!!!!!!#ah well beetles dont have to deal with these problems we should be more like them#if you read my tag rants sorry about the lore on how my brain works you should check out the wooly chafer beetle
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Lol
#theres nothing quite like your mother saying Well maybe you shouldve been more careful because now your boss might think youve been flirting#with this male coworker (whom i like splendidly as a friend) and now maybe she thinks youre not trustworthy#and maybe she regrets hiring you because you said you feel like youre making a lot of mistakes this week and she might assume thats because#your head is filled with this boy.#so dont make her regret hiring you.#MA'AM I TOLD YOU I WAS ALREADY ANXIOUS BECAUSE I MADE SO MANY MISTAKES TODAY WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME ASHAMED#OF SOMETHING THAT I HONESTLY HAD NO CLUE I OUGHT TO BE ANXIOUS ABOUT AT MY FIRST NEW JOB AFTER IVE GRADUATED????#anyway going to bed i cant take this anymore LOL she said it so lightly and im like. well i never even considered#being afraid of making my boss regret hiring me somehow because of some kind of behaviour that i had no idea was sending some kind of signal#anywaysssss 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#and then she was like why are you crying?? 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀#not to be like this is partly why i didnt want to move home but confound it all why are things like this#can i not simply confide in my mother my anxieties and worriws#worries#and not also have to worry about her potentially being like Well have you considered you ARE right and it IS your fault?#idk man something something firstborn child eldest daughter can i have some room to breathe. please#also not to whine but Not my father walking in on me eating dinner at 10pm because i was holed up#in my room in a semi depressive state after so many gong shows in a work day and straight up having no appetite#but deciding my body needs the food anyway its better late than never.....walking in and then saying#you know if you eat this late you'll gain weight. SIR??????????????????#sorry to complain and rant again i simply cannot in this house and whats more am doing my best to honour my parents#but why is it so hard out here and how can they say stuff like that with a smile!!!!!!!#also i DO have an inner critic who is always like Its your fault you are the worst you should be ashamed always........why do my parents#not understand after knowing me for so long and watching me grow up#that i can make myself so ashamed of the smallest thing so easily and that what they say drives me to shame almost as easily?#ANYWAY LOL WHAT A DAY#you guys!!! i am working so hard i promise i PROMISE I am!!! it is my first full time job ever and i am working so so hard#i am doing my absolute best and no one sees it and that is FINE i just wish my parents would see that i AM trying!!#i come back home so dead every single day because i put in 120%! this is literally my first job after graduation#and my parents KNOW this has been the most exhausting taxing and soul crushing year ive had in my very short life so far
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Hey, probably a question you have heard a thousant times. But what is the best way to get into any of the fiber arts? Books? Youtube? Actual people teaching you? (and if so how in the hell do you find them)
I started crochet and knitting but I pretty much can't get out of the basics, I can't managed to finish something that I have started cuz I always get frustrated that it's starting to look bad...
Hi! That's actually a really good question. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately, depending on how u look at it) the only way to get any better at fibre crafts, is to keep doing them. Practice really does make perfect. There is no book or video tutorial or in-person teacher that holds the one ultimate secret that will make you Good At Crafts. All of these can be valuable resources if you struggle to understand how to do a specific thing; you can be taught stitches, and how to read charts, and such things. But the only way to really learn is to practice.
This is because there are more skills involved in crafting than just knowing how to do certain stitches. Confidence, patience, frustration tolerance: you can't learn that from tutorials. These are essential skills that you need to build. And the best way to build them, I'm afraid, is to actually finish the damn thing. Even if it has mistakes. Even if it "looks bad". You need to learn how to tolerate imperfections, if you ever want to get anything done.
Now that doesn't mean you should bully yourself. If you get easily bored and frustrated, leave the scarves and sweaters for now, and start small. Potholders, dishcloths, scrubbies or coasters are all projects that finish up quickly and yield usable objects, even when they are not perfect. If you never allow yourself the dopamine rush of Fuck Yeah I Made That, how do you expect yourself to build up the resilience to stick through the parts where it is slow and difficult and makes your fingers hurt?
Here are Ravelry searches for free dishcloth and potholder patterns.
Of course that doesn't mean you should only do those projects. You can do whatever you want. The most important thing is to teach yourself that you can have success, and the only way to do this is to successfully make things.
Also, it should always be fun. If it's not at least a little bit fun, maybe the technique isn't for you. This is also an important skill to develop: To learn when to stick through a bout of frustration, and when to abandon something.
There is a very steep learning curve. But you can and you will get there. I believe in you, and I also believe that what "looks bad" to you is perfectly fine.
#do you think i am perfect? no!#i dont make flat sweaters because my tension is shit#i cant do colourwork for the same reason#but yk what? who cares!#its okay to make mistakes and be imperfect its fine#learn to be patient with yourself#and also frogging something is fine too you need to enjoy the process of making#not just having the finished object#idk thats probably not what you want to hear anon but its the only advice i can give#this post was brought to you by that hat i am currently crocheting which i started over 4 times and ripped back a significant portion of#4 times more#its fine. its literally fine. i'll get there when i get there.#but thats the kind of frustration tolerance you need to build and for this you need to start out small#anonymaus#message#crafts
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