#if i am demiromantic and not all the way at the end aromantic then

[emberunderscore]

girl with crush on me why did you send someone to find out if i freaking like you back why would you do that to yourself i don't even know if im capable of that bro i just wanna be friends with you but i fucking can't even do that cause i don't want to freaking lead you onnnnnnnnn . i also don't need another person to tell me you have a fucking crush on me I KNOWWWWWWWB your friends are SHIT AT KEEPING SECRETTTSSSSSSS

[lucifertheanalyzer]

Ngl even though I'm not aroace myself I'm pissed at how alastor was changed from aroace to just asexual. In the show rosie implies that alastor wouldn't be interested in charlie because he's an "ace in the hole", which kinda perpetuates the stereotype that someone being ace is the same as being aro, as if sexual and romantic attraction are the same thing. Not only that, but it literally wouldn't hurt anyone if the show had at least ONE aroace character, not purely asexual like via and mammon. If vivziepop was so worried about shipping then she could've at least made him grayromantic or demiromantic, that way he's still on the aroace spectrum.

about the "ace and aro are the same thing" stereotype, what romantic attraction does alastor have? Is he straight, gay, biromantic, panromantic? I'm guessing if alastor had a canon romantic label then a lot of people in the fandom wouldn't be happy, but at least it would teach others that ace people can still have romantic feelings.

I am gay acoace and I dislike that Alastor out of all characters is asexual rep. I know a lot of ace fans like Al and view him as an ace icon which good for them.

I do not think Al was ever aromantic, during the pilot era he was always asexual. Amir said he was aromantic asexual but retracted that statement quicky after.

It is strange that the three asexual characters do not have canon romantic or tertiary attractions. I never come across an asexual who just strictly asexual with no other form of attraction, there could be a term for that, but I could not find one.

It is canon that he is unaware that he is asexual because he is "old school" (but knows words like 'tea'). This might cross into fanfic land but whatever: I would see Al getting an episode about him discovering his asexuality in a later season. Maybe Charlie does a speed dating thing at the hotel to get more guests, asks Al to join against his will, and Al flops like fish due to his lack of experience. Another character tells him about asexuality, and he acts all like "what" and rethinks about his life on Earth and goes "oh that makes sense".

I hope Al is a character that stays single, same goes any of the single allosexuals characters. Not every character should need to be in a relationship at the end of their stories.

[zarathelonewolf]

Me when the

✨Aroaceflux✨

hits

( which is all the fucking time)

Romance cool! Sex cool! I want romance! I like the way that guy looks! I wanna kiss that guy so bad! I want a boyfriend! I want that guy as boyfriend! Wait, do I want sex? No, I only want cuddles now that I think of It, I want him to only cuddle me... Or do I? Wait a minute hold on... I do want romance though! But I don't feel the romance right now... Wait I do! Wait I... Don't? Nah nah I do feel romance right NOW, but do I have to buy him bouquets? I hope he understands that I really don't want sex today and tomorrow (maybe the whole week), I'm kinda scared of doing stuff like that with someone else now... Or am I, wait, Is the want for sex back up? Yep it is, lucky me, one less turbulence to deal with! There's too much turbulence anyway though, what the fuck...

Here, Imagine this bullshit in my brain and body throughout the day. I could feel attraction one hour and feel completely different for two hours after that and then go back to feeling it. Below are the specifics of my experience, if anyone cares...

I fluctuate between feeling romantic attraction and not doing so. When I don't feel It, though, I remain romance neutral or favorable, mostly the latter, and I use my platonic attraction to fuel the bond. That means that I should likely end up in a relationship with someone that fluctuates like me, or someone who wants to be my best friend and romantic partner interchangeably. When I feel romantic attraction, being polykin I prefer to express it with animalistic behaviours like rubbing/bumping foreheads together, bumping my head on someone's shoulder, "laughing" like an excited fox and stuff, which can cause disconnect (in a "would anyone actually want a freak like me" scenario). I also want to express myself like this with friends, but in a romantic relationship I would also feel like kissing the person.

My romantic fluctuations are more frequent than the sexual ones. I don't feel sexual attraction often, and I feel romantic attraction often.

I fluctuate between feeling sexual attraction and not doing so. I don't feel sexual attraction most of the time. When I don't feel It, I am either sex positive or something I like to call "real life sex repulsed", because I still can consume sexual content even while repulsed, given that I am alone; if it manifests itself, my repulsion only concerns actual real life sex with another person, or watching R rated stuff with someone close to me. I can also get animalistic when I feel sexual attraction, the behaviours are similar to the romantic/platonic ones but have more intensity; rubbing against a body with my whole body is another sexual behaviour, to which sounds are added. I feel like kissing the person in a lot of places, and even biting them and nibbling soflty. However these urges are muted when my sexual attraction Is absent.

To wrap things up, the "fluctuation" of sexual attraction manifests itself as a spike in sexual attraction and then prolonged periods of abscence of sexual attraction, in which I am moslty sex positive.

I often feel fearful of being a "fake" asexual and aromantic person, but It Is clear to me that I don't experience attraction the same way that alloaro peeps do. When I see an aesthetically pleasing person I feel strong platonic and sensual attraction, sometimes romantic, but never sexual; sexual attraction CAN happen if I have spoken more with the person, but it still fluctuates even then, which is why I don't use the demisexual and demiromantic labels.

It doesn't help that I have a high libido, and that when my sexual attraction is absent, which is very very often, I feel sex favourable a lot of the time and not sex repulsed; sex repulsion is as rare as sexual attraction in me. I am also kinky, I would like a d/s relationship one day with me being the sub.

I feel like I don't fit with alloaro people because if I were in a relationship with one, maybe they could feel inadequate because I don't feel sexual attraction for them, even though I would be willing to have sex anyway because sex looks fun and I like the idea a lot; and even if they accept that, what would happen if I entered a sex repulsed phase at one point of being together? I am scared that finding an alloaro partner physically pleasing and trusting them more than anyone else may not be enough for them. Also my fox behaviours are something that I have been taught are improper, and beastly (derogative), I feel dirty for them (my fox soul cries rn).

On the other hand I often hear aroace people speaking of being sex repulsed and sex neutral, romance repulsed and romance neutral, of not wanting a romantic and/or sexual relationship, and I feel exluded and fake because that is not how I feel most of the time. I am afraid that I am not aroace, actually.

At this point I would simply like to be in a relationship with a very affectionate aroace person on the greyaromantic or greysexual spectrum, but is it wrong of me to want that? Should I also add cupioromantic and cupiosexual to my identity, to avoid misconceptions?

I feel hopeless, like I'll never find someone that can love me as much as I love them. Someone to cuddle with, someone to kiss, someone to rub against and play with. Someone to be my companion.

Sorry, just needed to vent. If anyone wants to write something, scold me, idk, just go for it.

EDIT: I ONE OF THE REBLOGS I EXPLAIN THAT I HAVE CHANGED MY LABELS and understood what actually could be going on with my identity. Turn out there is internalized transphobia at work.

Rewriting my EDIT here (keep in mind nothing is fixed and I still use the aroace flux label for myself, but I prefer other labels which better describe me):

"I came back to this post recently to clarify that I am closer to the labels Heteroromantic/Almondromantic and Bisexual for myself.

I have realized that in my specific case, I was feeling repulsion towards romance and sex due to internalized issues, like internalized transphobia, I believed myself to look like "too much of a woman" to be considered both a woman and a man; and also very very very low self-esteem which made me think myself unworthy of sex or romantic attention... So my brain convinced itself it did not exist in me but it was not true. I know that "aromanticism and asexuality stem from trauma" is a stereotype/incorrect notion, as there are many aroace/aro/ace people who have been this way since childhood without having been traumatized, and they remained asexual and aromantic even when they were traumatized and after healing from the trauma, in my case I am not sure what happened, but I do think the abuse suffered at the hands of my mother and society's predilection for beauty standards and gender roles helped in the development of something akin to these experiences where sex and romance ended up making me repulsed at times."

There was another line in the EDIT but I forget which it is. I remember it said that I still feel sexual and romantic repulsion at times, but maybe that is owed to my neurodivergence (idk what "flavor" I am yet but something is not clicking neurotipically in my brain).

[howlsofbloodhounds]

Do you have any sexuality + gender identity head cannons for Color & Killer?

Idk if you ever mentioned this already or not so if you did then sorry lol

I probably made a post like it awhile ago but I’m not gonna go looking for it, mostly because my views might’ve changed since then.

Well for one I’d like to say they’re both definitely on the AroAce spectrum somewhere. Killer is definitely Demiromantic to me, and I’m just gonna say he’s Aceflux because I can’t decide on either Asexual or Demisexual or some other label—and also because his relationship with things like sex and intimacy is most definitely effected by whatever Stage he is in.

I highly doubt Stages 1, 3, and 4 are gonna be able to do the Sex, even if 1 may want to with someone he trusts and wants to be closer with (Color for example, since we’re talking about them.) even if he feels the desire and attraction to, so possibly Demisexual or just Ace and wanting to feel closer with someone he trusts.

He may get there eventually, compared to Stage 2 who definitely would be more willing to give it a try (if only because he’s curious and also probably definitely likes the power/control elements).

But I ultimately just think regardless of Killer’s sexual orientation, he will flirt with people because he thinks it’s amusing (in Stage 2), but ultimately he will struggle with being intimate. It’d probably be a lot easier for Stage 2 if he’s able to be in control of these encounters (cuffs and restraints definitely lmao), if only to avoid the risk of murdering his bedmate. (And also to avoid the risk of debilitating flashbacks and dissociating through the entire thing).

(Killer’s probably the type who prefers to give pleasure rather than receive anyway.)

I ultimately think that Killer does have his romantic fantasies, especially in Stage 1. I think she enjoys the idea of being romantic and possibly even idolizes it in Stage 1, but ultimately he believes it’s just a fantasy. Killer would probably actually find it hard to believe that anyone would feel that way towards him—Stage 2 is likely to dismiss as a funny joke at first, before eventually just calling whoever seems to show interest in em like that downright delusional.

Doesn’t mean she won’t take advantage of it anyway if it helps him achieve a goal or something. If whoever is dumb enough to trust him, then that’s not his problem now is it. (Of course, this is a Stage 2 that’s still with Nightmare. How they respond to this in an ending with Color, where he’s recovering and healing, may be different. And of course things will be drastically different if this person has been able to make him trust them while in Stage 1. Because if so, then that’s just fascinating.)

All in all, I don’t think Killer of any Stage has ever actually considered labeling themself anything; either in terms of sexuality or gender. Buddy is doing what she wants.

And honestly I don’t think Stages 3 and 4 are even in any state to consider things like romance and sex, or lack thereof at the moment. Bros think they’re fighting for their lives and they have no clue what’s going on.

I definitely think Stage 4 uses only it/its pronouns. But this is due to dehumanization. Bro probably doesn’t even respond to any type of name either. I doubt it even comprehends what the hell romance or sex or intimacy or a hug is.

So I have some ideas for Killer, but if I’m being fr, I don’t think Killer would give a fuck about my ideas. She’s doing his thing.

As for Color, I view him as somewhere on the AroAce spectrum too. I personally like @ozziethegreat’s HC that Color and Delta dated for a bit before breaking up, probably because this was how they both discovered they’re at least somewhere on the Aromantic spectrum and also they were both pretty lonely, but were better off as friends.

As for pronouns, perhaps he/they, but I am projecting that Color just ultimately doesn’t really grasp the idea of “gender” and so just really goes by whatever. Most call him he/him and he doesn’t bother to correct them because there’s no need. He doesn’t really consider any “social norms” in regard to clothes or gender, so he wears whatever he feels comfortable wearing.

( @lovelyheartclover ).

[platonic-soulmates-gencest]

Happy wincest Wednesday! Now, everyone else is getting asked about aro!dean wincest, but you and i have already discussed that at length. So you get a different, better question. I know you believe in grayro!Sam. Now how exactly does that work into your theories of wincest? Is Sam romantically attracted to Dean? Or is this relationship a relief because it isn't romantic? Or... Look just talk at me, you know I want your essay on this

- @schizosamwincester

Ohh happy wincest Wednesday! (Excited to get my own special ask 💚)

Okay, grayromantic Sammy here we go! First of all a quick clarification of the term for those not acquainted with it:

(Warning, I am not grayromantic and my description might not fit all of the grayromantics' experience. This is how I have interpreted this label.)

Grayromantic falls under the aromantic umbrella term. Aromantic as an umbrella term is used to imply little to no romantic attraction. As far as I know, grayromantics experience romantic attraction SOMETIMES. It's a different term from demiromantics who experience romantic attraction only after getting to know someone real well.

Honestly, for me Sam could be either grayromantic or demiromantic. Either way, the gist of it is that he would either be experiencing romantic attraction spontaneously with some people or only after he's got to know them better. So what does this do for wincest? Good question.

First of all, let's clarify that for me wincest will never be //romantic// in the traditional term of the word. That's why I usually call it gencest or weirdcest, to imply that. In my head, Sam and Dean are canonically in a QPR (that may or may not include a sexual relationship). It's also kind of an open relationship to align with canon. Dean sleeps around (as an aromantic allosexual, for him sleeping around means sex and only sex, no romance involved) and Sam might some times develop romantic feelings for other people (e.g. Jess, Sarah, Madison, Amelia, Eileen) and that's okay. They have a mutual understanding of each other.

Sam doesn't have romantic feelings for Dean. What he has with Dean is something so so much more important and entirely different. So for me Sam being graysexual means that he experiences romantic attraction towards other people. Not Dean. Dean is this special category of brother and Sam mostly finds comfort in his relationship with Dean.

And this might sound controversial but I have understood that romantic attraction is something that happens at first and then the "flaming love" you feel for a crush slowly devolves into pure love that exists between married couples that still love each other but it's a nice warm thing instead of blazing hot. And I think that some aromantics can even go for that nice warm thingy married couples have going on with their qpr partners (if they want a partner or a qpr anyway). And that's Sam and Dean for me. They have known each other for so long that it's definitely not the blazing hot eros you feel at the start of a relationship but something purer and deeper. And this is probably because it's a kind of relationship I would love for myself and I am projecting a little. (Hopefully what I get will be something less toxic and world ending though XD)

Okay, I've rambled a lot. In my defense, you asked for an essay. But yeah, long story short, Sam and Dean are in a qpr, Sam experiences romantic attraction with other people sometimes. That's my take!

Thank you for the ask!

[vmpkai]

in honor of pride month i ended up making queer headcannons of the main hamilton characters because i like making everything queer so

lgbtq+ hamilton headcannons

disclamer: yes some of the sexualities are weird because i like weird identities, i use weird identities, and sometimes it just makes sense. not a fan? close the door on your way out. also this is sponsored by 3 am thoughts and lack of sleep. anyways, shall we continue?

alexander hamilton

- he / they

- bi + polyam + trans guy

- a fanfic gave me the poly idea and i absolutely love it

- also alexander is just a trans name and he has that tboy swag

- has a thing for both john ( he finds all of his friends to be very attractive and flirts with them all )

- very obnoxious about his identity ( as he should )

john laurens

- he / him

- demisexual + gay + cis

- it just works for him

- knew he was gay from birth he just needed some boys to kiss

hercules mulligan

- he / him

- bihet or unlabeled + demiromantic + cis

- makes and sells pride flags + has several pride stickers

- doesn't really care all that much, but find himself having a preference for women

- does have a major thing for laf though ( is way too shy to talk about it )

marquis de lafayette

- all pronouns

- pan + genderfluid + non binary

- so obnoxiously gay and it's wonderful

- definitely does drag in their free time ( and fucking slays it each time )

angelica schuyler

- she / her

- pan + aroace + trans woman

- if you even think anything queerphobic she will tear you a new one ( kicked a transphobe in the teeth cuz of a comment they made towards her )

- such a girlboss about it

eliza schuyler

- she / they

- bi + polyam + asexual + cis

- polyam idea also from a fanfic ( it was really good )

- alex helped her realize she was polyam

- has a big fat crush on maria lewis

peggy schuyler

- any pronouns

- lesbian + genderfluid

- blames all of her problems on homophobia ( as she should )

- the most lesbian to ever lesbian tbh

- reminds me of one of my irl friends tbh ( both give off the same vibes )

maria lewis ( reynolds )

- she / her

- bi lesbian + trans girl

- doesn't talk about her sexuality a lot cuz she hates explaining ( mood )

- eliza was lesbian awakening, alexander was bi awakening, james made her realize she did NOT like men. well cis men at least ( just like me frfr )

thomas jefferson

- he / him

- bigay + aromantic + cis

- label depends on the day, really

- flirts with everyone ( more or less to get what he wants cuz he puts his pretty privilege to use )

- secretly does drag and denies all accusations ( he'd make a fabulous queen )

james madison

- he / him

- gay + demiaroace + trans guy

- nobody actually knows he's trans aside from those with the transtuition

- in a qpt relationship with thomas

aaron burr

- he / him

- hetero + aromantic + cis

- he's a quiet ally who supports his friends

- does not have a queer opinion at fucking all ( as per usual ) #certifiedfencesitter

george washington

- he / him

- hetero + cis

- doesn't understand but he tried his best

- ( at pride with all his kids the revolutionary set ) stranger: "how many genders are there?" washington: "i dunno man, i just got here."

king george

- nameself pronouns / neos / he

- gay + cis

- is 100% both a drag king and drag queen ( he's just so cunty )

- has that roly west of energy ( please tell me that someone can see the vision )

[allthefujoshiunite]

Hi, Nora....My friend and I made a list of ace and aro characters from BL, and then we get to Love For Sale. We think Sieon is aro, based on he never regret his previous relationships until he is with Namwoo. And how he felt so indifferent about them. But what do you think? Also, do you have any BL characters that you think are ace or aro?

Great question! And thank you for giving me a chance to talk about Sieon. I'm always happy to do so. If you want the tl;dr answer, I don't consider him to be one. However, as is always the case on Wild Wild Web when you express a thought or preference, people take it as me condemning all the other thoughts/preferences. So here's a PSA: if you consider him Aro, good for you! You can interpret him however you like.

Also, lots and LOTS of spoilers for the uninitiated.

As for how I read his character. I think Sieon is hard to understand for a lot of people because they expect him to be either this or that and try to put him into categories he doesn't fully belong in. It's one of the reasons why I'm so enamored with Love for Sale as a whole, and Sieon in particular. Dal Hyeonji, even though this is their first commercial BL work, does an absolutely fantastic job in this character study.

Back to the point. When the story was still being released, I entertained a similar idea myself about him that, maybe he's demiromantic. Not a romance-aversed aromantic, but still a part of the spectrum. Then I kind of abandoned that as well.

We are a melting pot of our environments, cultural codes, family, and our characteristics. That's why most of the time, it's hard to make out whether you've become something due to some external force or you were that something before anything else. A very lame example would be, do I find red lipstick sexy because I find it arousing, or is it because it was marketed in such a way that I am conditioned to think it's sexy? Similarly, it's not always easy to tell apart whether your feelings are genuine, you feel like you have to feel certain ways towards certain people, or something impacted you in such a way that you don't feel a certain way anymore. I know I'm being vague but hopefully, it'll make more sense now.

Sieon, having to shoulder her mother's emotional well-being and their reversed parent-child roles, has found himself in a position where he seeks gratification through the things he can provide to his partners so he can feel 'needed'. The comfort he can provide for his partner becomes his purpose to be in that relationship. I was throwing him bombastic side-eyes very early into the story where he never expressed any type of preference and was very evasive whenever Namwoo tried to probe. Naturally, it was quite frustrating for Namwoo. As for me, it was as if Sieon was trying to erase himself from the relationship and be there for Namwoo as a combination of 'bank account + lips to kiss + a hand to hold' and blend into the ether as a person.

That's also why his relationships ended the way they did. He knew his mom wasn't happy, and even if he tried to alleviate her pain, it ultimately didn't work, thus, the one last good deed he could do for his mom was to let her go. To not be greedy. To not be selfish and say "I need you, don't go." This is the root of his letting go of his exes 'too easily', rather than him not 'loving' his partners.

Here's where things get tricky. Ideally, a romantic relationship requires you to be vulnerable, communicative, diplomatic, etc. Ideally. But none of us are exempt from carrying our baggage with us into the next relationship, no matter how big or small. In that sense, should we say that just because Sieon hasn't been perfectly vulnerable or has been avoiding conflict, he was never in a real relationship before? I don't think we can. 

One of the moments my heart ached for him was during his conversation with his close friend. He reiterates it later on when they're having the talk with Namwoo, but he desperately tries to convey that, no matter what his partners felt, whether they were satisfied on their own account or not, he was always genuine. Has always been. It may not fit the mold of grandiose, shouting-from-the-mountaintops, I'd-swallow-a-sword-for-you kind of love we are constantly sold in the romance genre, but that doesn't mean he isn't capable of love either. On the contrary, I think he does look for romantic companionship, but he just doesn't know how not to intellectualize his feelings.

So, in my opinion, "he didn't love anyone else before Namwoo" is not exactly the correct way to read him. Up until Namwoo decided that he was going to hold onto Sieon and 'show him a selfish love' in Sieon's mom's words, their relationship was following the pretty much same direction as the others. At first, Namwoo is content with what Sieon provides, but then he develops feelings for him and expects Sieon to return them in a way he can't. The same old story that is bound to end with a break-up.

Emphasis on 'in a way he couldn't'. The way I read it, his way of loving is different from what others deem as 'romantic love', so he's convinced that he can't reciprocate others' feelings. If that's love, and his feelings don't look like that, then he must not be in love after all. And when Namwoo shows Sieon that it's okay to be needy and selfish at times, and it's okay to be vulnerable and honest, we see that was the wake-up call he needed all along. 

The verdict? If you consider his past partners through the "he wasn't able to genuinely love them" lens and interpret his "not being able to reciprocate romantic feelings" literally, you can think of him as an aromantic who's not really averse to dating. But as I've tried to elaborate, rather than not feeling romantic love, he does feel love and seek companionship but doesn't know how to handle conflict and can't break free from the behavioral patterns ingrained in him in childhood. 

About aro/ase characters in BL. There's only one work that comes to mind which, interestingly, makes asexuality/demisexuality one of the core themes it explores and that's This is Love by Ziki Masaya. I have reviewed it before (click me) and I highly recommend it! I can maybe mention Sangwoo from Semantic Error, but then again, I think he's just autistic and his approach to romantic love for another guy is different from his normie boyfriend Jongchan because of that. I can't really think of any other works with Aro/ace characters as there's always romance/sex involved. Or maybe I just haven't paid enough attention! Let me know about the list you two came up with ~

PSA: I added the intro because the original link needs you to login to Lezhin as it's a Mature title, but you know the drill. Read on the official platfrorms!

[ao3feed-jonmartin]

A Label Does Not A Person Make

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/fz9TlLm by Rauchendes_GNU Jon realises, a bit late perhaps, that this is what the conversation between him and Georgie was all the years back at university. He remembers a lot of frustration, remembers trying to convey that no, he wasn’t sexually attracted to her, but yes, he’d like to explore a more sex-favourable angle, so to speak. Jon closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Are you sure you don’t want to talk to Martin about this? You can come over after work, if you like. I’m sure he’ll be happy to help.” He opens his eyes to look at Tim, who seems strangely vulnerable in a way he’s rarely seen him before. “You don’t have to, of course. Just—just an offer to talk to someone who is very good at deciphering emotions.” After a second of quiet, he adds, “And he’s good at keeping a secret, too.” --- Tim thought he had himself all figured out. But that was before Sasha asked him to pretend to be his boyfriend. Words: 3130, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Fandoms: The Magnus Archives (Podcast) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: F/M, M/M Characters: Tim Stoker (The Magnus Archives), Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Martin Blackwood, Sasha James Relationships: Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist & Tim Stoker, Martin Blackwood & Tim Stoker, Sasha James & Tim Stoker, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Sasha James/Tim Stoker Additional Tags: Happy Ending, background fake dating, Asexual Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Fluff, Demisexual Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Established Teaholding, Alternate Universe - no fear entities, Theyre still working at the institute tho, Aromantic Tim Stoker, demiromantic tim stoker, Married Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, yes i can write fluff, occasionally, figuring out yourself, Sort Of, Kind of like a coming out but not really, Embracing the fact that sometimes labels only get you so far, Getting Together, there's a cat too, Ao3 chose violence and is destroying the order of my tags, please forgive me for this mess i didnt mean for it to happen and i am powerless, The fic is still pretty fun tho i promise read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/fz9TlLm

[revenant-coining]

Aro question

I know I’m not alloromantic, and I consider myself demiromantic. However, I struggle to fully understand or accept my feelings for love. I have a girlfriend who I absolutely adore, but there are times when my love for her doesn’t seem as strong for me as it is for her. It’s frustrating that I couldn’t fully understand my own romantic feelings. Maybe recently it could be the result of a toxic relationship that ended about a month ago and some horrible relationships before that.

Here are a few I think I am:

1.Adfecturomantic

2.recipromantic

3.Quoiromantic

I think I might be a mix of Adfecturomantic and recipromantic or maybe a mix of all 3 as I'm pretty sure I do in a way experience romantic love it just hard to tell :<

(I will try to be patient im sorry about last time :[ )

-🌸

(pt; (I will try to be patient im sorry about last time :[ ) /end pt)

we think those terms work! & here’s some more we found;

desinoromantic (link); “refers to an aro-spec attraction where one does not experience full-on romantic attraction.”

diminromantic (link); “a term on the aromantic spectrum that describes those who feel more strongly or more weakly for one partner than others.”

mollromantic (link); “an a-spec romantic orientation that is weak and soft in its presence. It is unlike greyromantic which is rarely experiencing romantic attraction, as mollromantics feel like their orientation is fluid and is best described as weak and/or soft. Some days they may only feel a soft presence of romantic attraction, whereas other days they may feel a stronger presence. “

vitrumromantic (link); “a microlabel on the aromantic spectrum. It is defined as the feeling of disconnection or separation from romantic attraction.”

[featherchan]

Rules: Please repost! Don’t reblog! Name / Alias: Feather, Fea Are you over 18? : Yes / No

  ~ W R I T I N G ~

Are you selective about who you write with? : No (anyone) / Semi (most people) / Yes (some people) / Highly (few people) / Private (mutuals only).

Are you selective about who you follow? : No (anyone) / Semi (most people) / Yes (some people) / Highly (few people).

If your muse is canon, how much do you adhere to canon? : Not at all / A little /Some / Mostly / Strictly / Not Applicable.

[ Mun's notes: I try my best to follow the canon. For example, Rei still follows the manga and Crystal series. While Michiru and Hotaru have some mixture between the manga and the animated 80s, series since they don't appear much in the manga. ]

What post lengths do you write? : One-Liners /Single-Para / Multi-Para / Novella/ All of the aforementioned

Do you use icons and/or GIFS? : No / Gifs / Icons / Yes / Sometimes.

Do you write on other platforms? : No / Yes

[ Mun's notes: I try to write in Discord sometimes. ]

What level of plots do you write? : Unplotted / Open-Ended Plots / Semi-Plotted / Fully Plotted Epics / All of the aforementioned

[ Mun's notes: I prefer to plot since there could be certain situation that might not sit well with mutuals. Plus, a great way of opening the door to communicate with them and get to know them better. ]

How quickly do you usually respond to threads? : Very Slow (more than a month) / Slow (3-4 weeks) / Average (1-2 weeks) / Fast (less than one week) / Very Fast (less than three days)

What types of themes do you like? : Adventure / Romance / Fluff / Angst / Violence / Tragedy / Domestic / Family / All of the aforementioned

What genres do you like? : ( Feel free to add! ) High Fantasy / Supernatural / Science Fiction / Historical / Horror / Comedy / Romantic / Drama / Action / Smut / Adventure / Espionage / Dark / Emotional / All of the aforementioned

Are there any themes you’re uncomfortable writing on your blog? : (Not triggers) No / Yes / Sometimes

Do you have any triggers? No

How do you request it tagged? 🤷🏻‍♀️

  ~ S H I P P I N G  ~

What types of relationships are you open to? : Romantic / Platonic / Enemies / Rivals / Familial / All of the aforementioned

What types of pre-established relationships are you open to? : Romantic / Platonic / Enemies / Rivals / Familial / All of the aforementioned

Do you have OTPs? : No / Chemistry Only / Yes 

Do you have NOTPS? : No / Yes 

What is your muse’s sexual orientation? : Heterosexual / Heteroflexible / Bisexual / Pansexual / Homoflexible / Homosexual / Demisexual / Sapiosexual / Asexual / Still trying to figure it out / Depends on the muse/verse you’re asking

What is your muse’s romantic orientation? : Heteroromantic/ Heteroflexible / Biromantic / Homoflexible / Homoromantic / Panromantic / Demiromantic / Sapioromantic / Aromantic / Still trying to figure it out / Depends on the muse/verse you’re asking

Are you comfortable writing smut? : No / Selectively / Yes /

How early in a relationship do you ship romantically? : Autoship / During plotting / After a couple IC interactions / Several IC interactions / Slow burn / Plot dependent / Never

Are you open to toxic ships? : No / Selectively / Yes / I am not sure we have gotta talk about it first.

Are you open to problematic ships? : No / Selectively / Yes / I am not sure

Are you open to polyamory shipping? : No / Selectively / Yes / I am not sure 

[ Mun's notes: For me, this depends on the muses and mutuals involved, as it could easily escalate into something toxic and dramatic for everyone involved.]

Are you an exclusive shipper? : Never / Sometimes / Yes 

Does crack shipping ever happen? : Nope / Yes / Depends

Tagged By: @eternalstarlights // Thank you for tagging me!

Tagging: Anyone who wanna have a crack at it.

[angryaromantics]

hi. i need help. i understand you're not a professional so i hope this isn't too heavy but i've been needing and needing to talk to someone about my internalized arophobia and never had a real chance to do it.

anyways, i've been really lost and hopeless over the past couple years because of my aromanticism. identifying as demiromantic was a cover, but even when i thought that was the full extent of my place on the aro spectrum, i hated how hard that made it to find romantic love. now i know better and think i'm probably a lot closer to fully aromantic than i thought, and by extension i'd be cupioromantic too. i've forced crushes before, since i knew they came so rarely. that ended in repulsion and an inability to communicate it just about every time. it sucked. it still sucks.

the thing that makes me feel alone is that i haven't seen anyone else in the aro community express how i feel, and those i have are saying that i shouldn't talk about it since it's technically still arophobia, even if it's towards myself, and could hurt other arospec people. then they go on to say that it's just amatonormativity and something i can get over. but i don't want to!! i know that i want a fulfilling relationship!! i'm frustrated and it feels like an erasure of how i feel!!

i'm sure it'll be damning and maybe offensive to say this but i feel like i need to be fixed and i wish i could fix myself. my desires don't match with my real attraction and it leads me to believe i'm broken in a somehow unique way. i guess it'd be nice to find a community of other cupio-aligned people and build pride for who i am, but i'm just depressed because that won't solve my problem. who i am isn't who i want to be, and i can't change that or better it in any way. i'm hurting because of it. i fear my activity in sapphic spaces is just performative since i'll never actually be sapphic, or straight, or anything. why bother if i'll never know that experience and have the happy endgame with another girl that i truly do want? am i even really bi? could i just be a lesbian if i only experience sexual attraction to girls but no other type to any other group of people? or am i just clinging onto any other orientation label to deny that i'm aromantic and don't belong in the LGB parts of queer spaces? i hate this.

thanks for letting me vent. sorry this is so long. thanks for running your blog, i really appreciate it.

Hi, anon - I apologize, I've found this in my drafts folder, and I have absolutely no idea how long it's been there. Hopefully not too long, but either way, I'm sorry I missed it.

I think the first thing is, I don't believe feelings are ever the incorrect response. You can't control your emotions. If being aromantic makes you feel negative feelings, that's okay. It's normal even. I definitely felt that way for many years, and occasionally slip into it now. I don't think it much matters if it's internalized arophobia or amatanormativity, because either way, the effect it has on you is the same.

I will say, I think the aro community has sort of over-corrected in the way we deal with negativity surrounding aromanticism. I feel like, not even that many years ago, it was rampant. A LOT of the posts, a lot of the talk, was about a lack, of what we're missing out on, etc. Especially once the big aphobia boom around here. And I think people took that, and about faced it so that negativity isn't deemed acceptable by a lot of people. I disagree with this, just fundamentally. I think talking through the negativity you feel toward your orientation can help you work through that negativity. It can also help you find like-minded people, and feeling less alone will probably make you feel less negativity.

I do think it's a dangerous line to walk, though. Because it's easy to tip over into All negativity in such insular communities, and that can honestly be dangerous for everyone's mental health.

I hope you find some peace. I hope you come into yourself. I hope things settle, as they often do with time. I'm sorry none of this has an easy fix. I hope writing it down and getting it off your chest helped. There's nothing wrong with you, and you belong here <2

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

I realized I am arospec and it has been the most amazing and freeing realization thus far. I knew about the label when I was a teen when I originally began questioning, but due to a lot of misinformation back then, mostly thanks to the raging aphobia that was happening, I assumed I didn't fit the bill to be aromantic. I also wasn't aware of the depth of the label and how many microlabels there was within it! Another reason why exclusion is an awful thing- I spent my teen years and half of my 20s feeling broken, weird, never feeling at home with any label, all because the label that was mine, unbeknownst to me, was being debated like fandom drama by terfs and other exclusionists and it got treated as a thing that wasn't an option to even consider. It wasn't until a month or so back I looked into the label once more, and I learned so much about it this time in a safe environment. I realized immediately that I fit the bill for demiromantic, as I have only ever felt true, genuine love and romance once for anyone and that someone is the love of my life I'm currently engaged to. I adore her more than words could say and this love I feel only happened towards her, nobody else prior to her. I do not get crushes, she is the only one I ever felt that for. I do not feel romantic attraction to anyone else, I never look at others and find them hot or anything. I simply see only her. This label has been the most amazing thing and I am so so proud to call myself aro. To feel whole, not broken, etc is the best thing. I love being aro and my only hope now is that people do not debate my identity or sit and question why I, an aro, is feeling this romantic attraction to someone (My wife!) I know some of the LGBT community loves to gate keep still, and even go as far to say demiromantic is "the norm" , or say flat out ignorant statements such as "if you're aro, you can't be happily in a relationship, you cant love someone that way!!" But I am going to be myself and ignore any ignorance.

I'm so glad you found your labels in the end, Anon! And 100%, Gatekeeping never helped anyone, and it's caused a lot of people a lot of harm. Gatekeeping to me is a huge red flag for any LGBTQIA+ community, people have good reasons for using the labels they do, and all they ask of other people is the respect it.

Thanks so much for sharing your journey and how far you've come.

[tewwor]

Name / Alias : goose or ro or..... goosero ?

Are you over 18? : Yes / No

  – 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 –

Are you selective about who you write with? : No (anyone) / Semi (most people) / Yes (some people) / Highly (few people) / Private (mutuals only).

Are you selective about who you follow? : No (anyone) / Semi (most people) / Yes (some people) / Highly (few people).

If your muse is canon, how much do you adhere to canon? : Not at all / A little / Some / Mostly / Strictly / Not Applicable.

What post lengths do you write? : One-Liners / Single-Para / Multi-Para / Novella/ All of the aforementioned

Do you use icons and/or GIFS? : No/ Gifs / Icons / Yes / Sometimes.

Do you write on other platforms? : No / Yes ( discord! )

What level of plots do you write? : Unplotted / Open-Ended Plots / Semi-Plotted / Fully Plotted Epics / All of the aforementioned

How quickly do you usually respond to threads? : Very Slow (more than a month) / Slow (3-4 weeks) / Average (1-2 weeks) / Fast (less than one week) / Very Fast (less than three days) * a secret goose option — any.. and all of the above. highly dependent on muse and/or dynamics. could take a month or i could answer immediately

What types of themes do you like? : Adventure / Romance / Fluff / Angst / Violence / Tragedy / Domestic / Family / All of the aforementioned

What genres do you like? : ( Feel free to add! ) High Fantasy / Supernatural / Science Fiction / Historical / Horror / Comedy / Romantic / Drama / Action / Smut / Adventure / Espionage / Dark / Emotional / All of the aforementioned

Are there any themes you’re uncomfortable writing on your blog? : (Not triggers) No / Yes / Sometimes * goose examples — tend to stay away from themes such as cheating, pregnancy, in depth mentions of cancer

Do you have any triggers? How do you request it tagged? : nope!

  – 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐆 –

What types of relationships are you open to? : Romantic / Platonic / Familial / All of the aforementioned

What types of pre-established relationships are you open to? : Romantic / Platonic / Familial / All of the aforementioned

Do you have OTPs? : No / Chemistry Only / Yes 

Do you have NOTPS? : No / Yes 

What is your muse’s sexual orientation? : Heterosexual / Heteroflexible / Bisexual / Pansexual / Homoflexible / Homosexual / Demisexual / Sapiosexual / Asexual / Still trying to figure it out / Depends on the muse you’re asking

What is your muse’s romantic orientation? : Heteroromantic / Heteroflexible / Biromantic / Homoflexible / Homoromantic / Panromantic / Demiromantic / Sapioromantic / Aromantic / Still trying to figure it out / Depends on the muse you’re asking

Are you comfortable writing smut? : No / Selectively / Yes * goose excuse — slooooowly getting back into the swing of things after ( insert petrified trauma here ) & will only be with close mutuals or wicked chemistry between muses

How early in a relationship do you ship romantically? : Autoship / During plotting / After a couple IC interactions / Several IC interactions / Slow burn / Plot dependent / Never * goose goose — really depends on the writer & characters! the more we yap ooc, the better chance i'm able to just... swang whoever over as a ship. on the flip side, sometimes characters just click yknow?

Are you open to toxic ships? : No / Selectively / Yes / I am not sure * goose honk — i will not lie! toxic ships aren't my fav! but some of the dumpster goblins i write do, unfortunately, fall into this category.. regardless, it'll take some plotting

Are you open to problematic ships? : No / Selectively / Yes / I am not sure

Are you open to polyamory shipping? : No / Selectively / Yes / I am not sure * goose on the loose — certain characters are polyamorous, yes! always down to have them clown, but again plots are the way to start!

Are you an exclusive shipper? : Never / Sometimes / Yes * goose's last words .... 99% no, 1% .. yes. there's only a handful of muses ( literally like 1 or 2 ) that i deem as exclusive simply because they Refuse to latch onto anyone else romantically

Does crack shipping ever happen? : Nope / Yes / depends!

tagged by: stolt tagging: YOU!!!!!! tag me though :3c

[stolenbythegods]

Name / Alias: Beth/Semeiya

Are you over 18? : Yes / No

– W R I T I N G –

Are you selective about who you write with? : No (anyone) / Semi (most people) /Yes (some people) / Highly (few people) / Private (mutuals only).

Are you selective about who you follow? : No (anyone) / Semi (most people) / Yes (some people) / Highly (few people). - I follow people I want to write with, or otherwise useful blogs for RP stuff. But I do like to keep my dash from being too busy too.

If your muse is canon, how much do you adhere to canon? : Not at all / A little / Some / Mostly / Strictly / Not Applicable. - If you count greek myth as canon, then I mix my own stuff in alongside the myths, but I never bin it completely.

What post lengths do you write? : One-Liners / Single-Para / Multi-Para / Novella/ All of the aforementioned. - Though novella is very time consuming and tiring for me, and one-liners can get a bit dry after a while.

Do you use icons and/or GIFS? : No / Gifs / Icons /Yes / Sometimes - I don't have the time, skill, or energy to make resources for my muses, and I post from mobile a lot, so they're more hindrance than help for myself.

Do you write on other platforms? : No / Yes - I am happy to write on discord with established partners

What level of plots do you write? : Unplotted / Open-Ended Plots / Semi-Plotted / Fully Plotted Epics / All of the aforementioned

How quickly do you usually respond to threads? : Very Slow (more than a month) / Slow (3-4 weeks) / Average (1-2 weeks) / Fast (less than one week) / Very Fast (less than three days) / Depends on muse - I admit I can be very slow, but some things can have me replying much quicker. At the end of the day, it really depends on what my muses are into, and if my mental state is okay for it.

What types of themes do you like? : Adventure / Romance / Fluff / Angst / Violence / Tragedy / Domestic / Family/ All of the aforementioned

What genres do you like? : ( Feel free to add! ) High Fantasy / Supernatural / Science Fiction / Historical / Horror / Comedy / Romantic / Drama / Action / Smut /Adventure / Espionage / Dark / Emotional / All of the aforementioned - Honestly though, depending on the person, and the plot, I could be persuaded into almost anything

Are there any themes you’re uncomfortable writing on your blog? : (Not triggers) No / Yes / Sometimes - Only in the sense that there's some stuff I don't feel safe RPing on tumblr and would prefer to have it on discord or be private in some way.

Do you have any triggers? Do you request it tagged? : No / Yes

– S H I P P I N G –

What types of relationships are you open to? : Romantic / Platonic / Familial / All of the aforementioned

What types of pre-established relationships are you open to? : Romantic / Platonic / Familial / All of the aforementioned

Do you have OTPs? : No / Chemistry Only / Yes

Do you have NOTPS? : No / Yes - none off the top of my head anyway

What is your muse’s sexual orientation? : Heterosexual / Heteroflexible / Bisexual / Pansexual / Homoflexible / Homosexual / Demisexual / Sapiosexual / Asexual / Still trying to figure it out / Depends on the muse you’re asking

What is your muse’s romantic orientation? : Heteroromantic / Heteroflexible / Biromantic / Homoflexible / Homoromantic / Panromantic / Demiromantic / Sapioromantic / Aromantic / Still trying to figure it out / Depends on the muse you’re asking

Are you comfortable writing smut? : No / Selectively/ Yes

How early in a relationship do you ship romantically? : Autoship / During plotting / After a couple IC interactions / Several IC interactions / Slow burn / Plot dependent / Never

Are you open to toxic ships? : No / Selectively/ Yes / I am not sure

Are you open to problematic ships? : No / Selectively / Yes / I am not sure

Are you open to polyamory shipping? :No/ Selectively / Yes / I am not sure

Are you an exclusive shipper? : Never / Sometimes / Yes - I don't generally do it, but I am open to it if we click super hard and both express we can't really see shipping with other iterations.

Does crack shipping ever happen? :Nope / Yes / Depends - It has a couple of times before, and I'm not against it haha

Tagged by: nobody, i stole it

Tagging: anyone who wants to do it. Tag me!.

[iron-hearts-ablaze]

Name / Alias : Vixen (She/her or they/them)

Are you over 18? : Yes / No

– W R I T I N G –

Are you selective about who you write with? : No (anyone) / Semi (most people) / Yes (some people) / Highly (few people) / Private (mutuals only). --

Are you selective about who you follow? : No (anyone) / Semi (most people) / Yes (some people) / Highly (few people).

If your muse is canon, how much do you adhere to canon? : Not at all / A little / Some / Mostly / Strictly / Not Applicable. (I have AU's, but I don't count them. My main verse is very strict to the game)

What post lengths do you write? : One-Liners / Single-Para / Multi-Para / Novella / All of the aforementioned. (Depends on the genre, joke RPs tend to be short)

Do you use icons and/or GIFS? : No / Gifs / Icons / Yes / Sometimes.

Do you write on other platforms? : No / Yes

What level of plots do you write? : Unplotted / Open-Ended Plots / Semi-Plotted / Fully Plotted Epics / All of the aforementioned

How quickly do you usually respond to threads? : Very Slow (more than a month) / Slow (3-4 weeks) / Average (1-2 weeks) / Fast (less than one week) / Very Fast (less than three days) (on a good day!)

What types of themes do you like? : Adventure / Romance / Fluff / Angst / Violence / Tragedy / Domestic / Family / All of the aforementioned (- but angst/tragedy is a favourite, followed by romance/fluff)

What genres do you like? : ( Feel free to add! ) High Fantasy / Supernatural / Science Fiction / Historical / Horror / Comedy / Romantic / Drama / Action / Smut / Adventure / Espionage / Dark / Emotional / All of the aforementioned (smut on very very rare occasions, very picky about it)

Are there any themes you’re uncomfortable writing on your blog? : (Not triggers) No / Yes / Sometimes

Do you have any triggers? How do you request it tagged? : No / Yes (literally just one - it's a part of my rules)

– S H I P P I N G –

What types of relationships are you open to? : Romantic / Platonic / Familial / All of the aforementioned

What types of pre-established relationships are you open to? : Romantic / Platonic / Familial / All of the aforementioned (plotted only)

Do you have OTPs? : No / Chemistry Only Preferred / Yes (I'm not against chemistry at all, obviously. But I'm a sucker for Astarion/Karlach and Wyll/Karlach - I won't lie)

Do you have NOTPS? : No / Yes (not with Karlach anyway - overall in BG3, yes I do)

What is your muse’s sexual orientation? : Heterosexual / Heteroflexible / Bisexual / Pansexual / Homoflexible / Homosexual / Demisexual / Sapiosexual / Asexual / Still trying to figure it out / Depends on the muse you’re asking

What is your muse’s romantic orientation? : Heteroromantic / Heteroflexible / Biromantic / Homoflexible / Homoromantic / Panromantic / Demiromantic / Sapioromantic / Aromantic / Still trying to figure it out / Depends on the muse you’re asking (going off of the game of course)

Are you comfortable writing smut? : No / Selectively / Yes (I'm very picky about it. I need to feel comfortable with the other mun.)

How early in a relationship do you ship romantically? : Autoship / During plotting / After a couple IC interactions / Several IC interactions / Slow burn / Plot dependent / Never

Are you open to toxic ships? : No / Selectively / Yes / I am not sure (Highly dependent on the other muse and mun.)

Are you open to problematic ships? : No / Selectively / Yes / I am not sure (Is problematic not the same as toxic?)

Are you open to polyamory shipping? : No / Selectively / Yes / I am not sure (Would be EXTREMELY dependent on the other muses/mun(s). As I said, I'm very strict to the game, and Karlach doesn't accept poly)

Are you an exclusive shipper? : Never / Sometimes / Yes (in a way? I'm willing to give every ship a go once I've sensed the chemistry and discussed it in depth the other mun. I do have those I just get along more with, naturally. The ships have more work put in etc. But I wouldn't say I'm strictly exclusive, I just have some I'm closer with than others.)

Does crack shipping ever happen? : Nope / Yes / Depends (only the once XD)

Tagged by: @faerunscursed Tagging: @chaoticbard, @never-surrender, @starcunin, @bloodedstars - if you guys want! And since Tumblr doesn't let you tag more than that... YOU! Yes, you, soldier!

[paperstarwriters]

Thinking about Aspec Muriel & reader.

Personally I am a demisexual & demiromantic but I feel like I fluctuate sometimes, and I've kinda been thinking about Muriel and his place anywhere under Aspec umbrella (including both the asexual spectrum and aromantic spectrum)

Note: This is largely based on me projecting from my own experiences lol. I know For Certain that this won't apply to all aspec people, so if you are of a differing position on the spectrum feel free to discuss about this with me!! I'd love to hear your perspective— also, the links provided are to the LGBTQIA wiki, so if they're inaccurate, feel free to correct me!

also this is largely me just throwing hypotheticals at the wall and rambling so warning for late-night nonsense

anyways it's just —

Because I don't really see Murel as being Fraysexual or Frayromantic (although don't get me wrong, that is a possibility) I can't help but worry at how he felt being desired and admired while in the Colloseum, as let's be honest, there are bound to be a handful of horny people who absolutely loved his show of strength and power right? But practically being at the beck and call of Lucio, I can't help but wonder at how or if Muriel might've felt if he was ever confronted by some of those fans who just... did not know him.

Or I imagine some people trying to egg him on and see how many people "the beast" has slept with and he just feels revolted at the thought—not necessarily because he sees sex as something inherently disgusting, but simply because he can't see himself wanting or doing that, or he hates imagining his own body in that vulnerable position.

And it just places him in a position where people are so confused and dejected at his disinterest romantically or sexually, because "oooh here's this absolute hunk of a man why won't he fall in love/have sex ever? Isn't he human? isn't it ''natural'' to want a sexual/romantic relationship??"

and it all just ends up further othering him. as if he were some sort of Golem driven by blood and hatred, incapable of feeling love or emotion, as if he did not love and care for what few friends he had left, as if he did not love and care for Asra.

And then eventually MC comes around, and whether or not you're Aspec, you at the very least respect his boundaries, and it's a sad and sorry thing, but as a character of entertainment for Vesuvia, I can't help but expect that many rich influential nobles that could bribe their way through the guards around him did not respect that, and maybe they couldn't actually reach him, but they tried, and that's scary enough. Or maybe some rabid fan, oblivious to social expectations, or just incapable of seeing him as anything other than an animal, trying to get to him as well.

Or maybe not even any of that, maybe just the threat of it, ever hanging on his shoulders when people loudly discuss him as if he did not have keen ears, or as if the hallways did not echo, or as if he were not just a few feet away from them.

don't get me wrong, being sexualized when you don't wanna be sexualized is horrible, but the lack of being able to reciprocate or even understand any of it—how people can so easily desire someone else sexually or romantically just by looking at them—and hearing how people regard it as a "natural human experience" that feels awful.

I doubt many people would be talking about the possibility of people just not having those feelings, and it being a normal experience around Muriel and he just ends up left there, feeling so much like some sort of attraction in a cage, inhuman, abnormal and so, so wretched.

And when his only close friend, his only remaining reassurance that he was some part human, leaves for a romantic relationship, Muriel feels more disjointed and broken apart than ever.

And then eventually MC comes around, and whether or not MC is aspec, they respect Muriel's boundaries, and are willing and happy to keep the relationship platonic, or just not have sex if that's what Muriel wants.

and if MC is aspec, the both of you end up diving down into that wormhole of everyone else expressing that automatic or lasting feeling of sexual or romantic attraction to others, and how you both lack that, and most importantly, how you both continue to see each other as normal and human despite that. Regardless of what others say, and regardless what you each think of yourself, you can't bear to call each other inhuman, so you don't. You insist upon each other's humanity and you support each other like that.

Just, regardless of however your sexual or romantic orientation shifts and changes, you both find solace and trust in each other, because you both understand and you both know. And of course, most important overall, you both respect each other's boundaries, and you trust each other enough that, even if one of you realize that maybe sometimes you crave that romantic relationship, or maybe sometimes you crave that sexual relationship, you both trust each other to discuss it beforehand, rather than demand it, and you both trust that, whatever happens after, whether you accept or reject that offer or that possibility, you're still going to be friends.

and ugh the queerplatonic relationship of living together with Muriel in the forest, Sleeping over, and giving each other breakfast in bed as you both work through your chores, as you both make sure you're taking care of each other. Loving each other in that quiet, silly, tender, gentle, human way that friends love each other, that way that friends have always loved each other.