platonic-soulmates-gencest

[platonic-soulmates-gencest]

Sam didn't know how safe Dean's smell made him feel until after the cage, only able to sleep when he had it. He couldn't look at Dean's face without breaking down, but he needed that safe smell. Lucifer would wear Dean's face. Nothing was worse than seeing Dean's face speak that utter filth that Lucifer always did. Dean's caring voice tells Sam that he's guilty, that he deserves to be violated, and tortured, purely as the penance he owes for all the lives he's ruined. Sam believed it so quickly, feeling so unclean. Now Sam can't look at Dean, but that smell is safety itself, something Lucifer never got quite right. It was the knowledge that no one would hurt him. Lucifer never got the faint smell of cigarette smoke that clung to his big brother after the bar, didn't know how his favorite whiskey smelled. Even Sam didn't fully understand why he wrapped himself in Dean's favorite T-shirts and blankets to sleep, he just knew he needed to.

[platonic-soulmates-gencest]

the wind keeps blowing somewhere every day.

In those first days John would drive until Sam’s crying burrowed into his head and triggered a migraine behind his eyes, Dean in the back next to the carseat, sitting still with his eyebrows drawn together and his fingers folded in his lap even though John had told him that when Sammy got fussy it was his job to talk to him and play games with him and try to settle him down because Dad couldn’t do it when they were driving like this, Dad had to keep his eyes on the road. He’d drive until it got worse than he could bear and then he’d pull off at a rest stop and climb in between Dean and the carseat and Dean would wrap himself around John’s arm and John would unclip Sam and lift him out one-handed and he would press his son against his neck and he’d say shh, shh, shh and then Dean would pick up the rhythm with him, shh, shh, shh, and John would bounce him a little and most times Sammy’d fall asleep just like that, lips suckling the skin underneath his ear. Dean was never far behind after that. His meager grip on John’s arm would loosen and he’d slide down the seat till his forehead was against John’s hip. Some days he’d stay right there for hours, feeling their heat and dampness on him, their soft hair, and listening to each breath, counting them, syncing his own to theirs.

***

Because they had nowhere to go he’d drive and drive and the driving gave him purpose or at least some semblance of it and when Sammy was in happier moods the boys actually took well to the road. He told them moving was good. He told them they were going on a trip and then he’d drive from one end of the county line to the other and back. In those days Dean struggled with his Rs and he would press his nose to the window and say tee tee tee because everything outside was endless trees. That’s right buddy. All those trees.

***

He watched them always through the rearview. She’d had the foresight to put one of those mirrors on the backseat over Sammy’s carseat so they’d be able to see him as they drove until he was old enough for the front-facing one. He thanked her every day for that. He watched Sammy gurgle and blink and he watched Dean poke a finger into his brother’s mouth. The way it would make them both giggle and John too and in those moments it felt like they were going to be okay.

***

Nights he spent praying for the morning. Sam refused to take a bottle and he’d start up crying and John would hold it to his mouth and he’d say please Sammy. When that didn’t work he’d dab some of the formula onto his finger and try to get him to suck from there but he knew it wasn’t nearly enough because Sam would fall asleep before a quarter of the bottle was gone. All the while Dean standing next to him wide-eyed and with his hands clutching his neck which John knew meant he was afraid. Let’s get you all tucked in huh? He’d lift Dean and fly him like an airplane into the bed to get him to laugh but he wouldn’t laugh. His chin would quiver and a few tears would fall and he’d wipe them quickly with the back of his wrist and he’d say I didn’t have dinner.

***

By then it was probably too cold for the park but he figured he needed to start conserving gas money and eased off the driving for a while. And anyway the boys had always liked the park so on a sunny day he’d layer them in clothes he found at a thrift store and the sight of them thick and round with fabric and Dean not even able to put his arms down flat to his sides was a tiny spark of delight in his chest. He’d wrap Sam in a blanket and then zip him into his jacket for extra warmth but also because it doubled as a carrier so he could push Dean on the swing or hold his hand as he went down the slide.

***

There were terrible dreams from which he’d wake sweating and out of breath and he’d think he smelled smoke in the room and in his panic he’d reach for them in the dark on the bed next to him and just that touch would startle Dean awake and he’d say daddy? daddy? and sometimes it would be minutes before John could settle the shaking in his limbs enough to palm Dean’s forehead until he fell back to sleep.

***

Dean started asking for the song she always sang to him as she rocked him to sleep and John would look at him for a long time and then say I’m no good at that one buddy. It killed him in those days to deny them anything but he knew even if he tried he wouldn’t make it through. How ‘bout another one? And he’d sing Haggard or Foley or Cash and it didn’t matter that they weren’t lullabies—those guys knew how to soothe the soul. Because for some reason when he sang Sammy took the bottle and he’d watch John with his serious eyes and drink deeply and John thought the gulping little noises he made were the most beautiful he’d ever heard.

***

In those days he tried to talk to them as much as he could so they wouldn’t feel lonely and so he wouldn’t either. He’d tell them stories and he’d ask Dean questions about the things they saw. When they stopped at a gas station he’d take the boys out of their seats and around the back of the car and he’d say I’m taking this nozzle filled with oil and I’m putting it in this hole, see that? And this gives the car what it needs to drive and Dean would look at the numbers ticking up and up and up and when the pump stopped John’d say okay Dean, how much did this one set us back? and he’d lift him so he could read each number.

On the worst days when all he wanted was to hide in his silence he’d think of her and he’d look at them looking at him and he’d keep talking. The road their only friend. And they went on.

[platonic-soulmates-gencest]

⚠️nsfw

[platonic-soulmates-gencest]

i'm not sorry.

[platonic-soulmates-gencest]

I need to know if Sam's puppy dog ​​eyes work on Soldier Boy like they do on Dean 👀

+18. mdni

oh they do, I promise you they do.

they're so effective in fact that Sammy has stopped him from committing many hate crimes and escalating minor situations to deadly degrees. Sammy's puppy dog eyes affect him on a bone deep level, he doesn't know why they work so well on him, but soldier boy is annoyed.

that's one of the reasons why when soldier boy finally decided he wanted to fuck Sammy, he gave him the lube bottle, he didn't want to get too close to those wet puppy eyes, all he did was watch Sam stretch himself out on his own long fingers. eyes zeroed on his pink hole instead. ignoring Sammy's face.

and that's why when soldier boy first took Sammy, he did it while pinning his head down on the bed, by the neck, on his belly, so he wouldn't turn around and flash those devastatingly beautiful eyes at him. so he could have his way without something like guilt stopping him. he knew exactly what he was doing. he's a terrible brute. the worst of them all.

Sammy also immediately realises he has some sort of power over soldier boy; his puppy dog eyes. and he uses it whenever the situation calls for it. whenever soldier boy is about to commit some heinous act. Sammy makes sure his puppy dog eyes are extra big, intense, his hair extra fluffy and his shoulders hunched, appearing smaller than he actually is. and it works everytime.

that's why when soldier boy's blood thirst gets too much, he's pissy and extra mean. he goes out looking for trouble. he says he's patrolling but Sammy knows that he's looking to kill some poor sod, a homeless person sleeping somewhere where they shouldn't be, or a bunch of children kicking ball in a hotel's parking lot. Sammy tries to distract him with a football game, some good brother bonding time, and when it doesn't work, he tells soldier to take it out on him instead, that he can take it (he can't).

soldier boy laughs in his face and goes ahead to leave. Sammy threatens to run away if soldier boy leaves and Ben's solution is to bring Sammy with. he can't run away now, can he?

soldier boy finds his next target, a young couple smoking weed or something in a deserted McDonald's, Sam tries to convince to let them be, they're not doing anything wrong. But Ben doesn't want to hear it.

At this point Sammy is shaking with anger and fear, he can't stop him, can't even hurt him because even when he punches him, Ben doesn't even feel it, his skin is unbreakable, he doesn't bruise, doesn't break. and the only mercy that Soldier boy offers Sammy is 3 simple words, "Don't look, Sam,"

[platonic-soulmates-gencest]

I mean, the world’s ending. The walls are coming down on us, and I look over to you and all I can think about is, “this stupid son of a bitch brought me here.”

[platonic-soulmates-gencest]

this is jensen quackles. i have yet to get jared padaquacki, but my friends and i deided today is jensen quackles appreciation day, so lets all appreciate a teeny tiny plastic duck whose name is a pun

[platonic-soulmates-gencest]

The way Dean so obviously and so immediately feels bad after yelling at Sam is everything

[platonic-soulmates-gencest]

Dean stepping between Sam & an angry patriarch

[platonic-soulmates-gencest]

How it feels to be in this fandom

[platonic-soulmates-gencest]

my crackpot theory about why other dudes love jared so much is that jared’s traditionally masculine physique disarms them because he looks like a mans man, and then he gets ‘em with his puppy boy golden retriever touchy feely nature. and they love it bc so many dudes can’t be emotional with other dudes. (really they can’t be emotional with women either, it just manifests as sex because they’re repressed, but whatever. also i am most definitely generalizing here) so when this 6’5 tank is openly affectionate with them it gives them the ok to be openly affectionate back. am i making any sense. it’s part of why jensen “there’s no manly way to drink out of a straw” is so obsessed with him. 

[platonic-soulmates-gencest]

the soft sweet serious way jared is looking at jensen while everyone in the audience is laughing is going to end me

[platonic-soulmates-gencest]

visibly bruised sam in a diner and with deans cocksure attitude and smirks, the waitress thinks dean did it. she takes sam aside to tell him she can get help if he needs it. sam laughs and tells her it’s okay, the bruises are from a fall, not dean. when he tells dean about it later, dean laughs along, but underneath he wishes the marks on sam’s skin were actually from him

[platonic-soulmates-gencest]

Sam & Dean in the bunker

Done for @stripy-tights in the context of this auction. Thanks for the lovely prompt 😊

Had a lot of fun drawing domestic Sam and Dean being way too close to each other for no reason other than their codependency.

[platonic-soulmates-gencest]

john getting two rooms for the three of them at the motel one night. they're a little low on cash and he needa a quick way to earn some money. so him and sam take one room and dean gets one for himself, right next door. john tells dean that some of his buddies are going to drop by and warns him not to dissapoint him and to do as they say, so dean being the good son he is lets each and every one of them spread him open and do as they wish with him while john is standing right outside of the room, collecting money and sam in the other room is wondering whats happening in deans room and why there is so much banging

[platonic-soulmates-gencest]

angry sam + “not yet” dean make for a lot of great chest touching

[platonic-soulmates-gencest]

I can't believe people move on from supernatural like how is that even possible