#if he just liked damsel that would be kind of lame

[someonesomewheredown]

I don't have many specific desires for the Pristine Cut expansion however I do think it would be fun to have a way for the Voice of the Smitten to be in the Beast route. I just think it would be fun to see what happens when you put the Consumed By Endless Devotion guy and the Devoted To Endless Consumption gal in the same room.

[proxylynn]

[In 1987, Litwak's Family Fun Center and Arcade on Route 83 got a new game... "Danger Dan, the Action Man!" This was a knockoff of "The Adventures of Bayou Billy" but with some tweaks to make it its own thing.

The plot: Daniel Storm, otherwise known as Danger Dan, has been boasting of his exploits and bravado much to his girl-friend's, Lynn, annoyance. A rouge gang, in retaliation for hearing Dan trash-talking them, kidnaps Lynsie in order to lure Dan into putting his money where his mouth is. Dan's quest to save Lynsie consists of ten stages that take him across the country, as he battles thugs and eventually arrives at the gang's HQ to come face-to-face with the big boss himself.

A normal by-the-book "rescue the damsel" type game which was the standard in that era and one that wasn't too hard to either. Which, for a time, kept it fairly popular with kids as the ease of difficulty made it less frustrating when GAME OVERs happened. But by the 1990s, older kids started to turn away from such games. Rescue the Girl games were seen as lame, and when the character lore didn't match, it made things worse.

"Lynsie "Lynn" is Dan's partner and crush. A soft-spoken brawler with a heart of gold; she met Dan rather awkwardly...Saving him when he was ganged up on after running his mouth to a group of bikers. Taking pity on him and thinking his smugness was kind of endearing, she acts as the peacekeeper to Dan's pride so he isn't beaten to a pulp daily."

This made no sense to players considering the game had her waiting at the end of every stage, in a room, by herself, and merely taken away again when Dan reached the end. She was built up to be strong but the game made her helpless, used like bait dangled to keep Dan going as if she was a reward.

By 1993, "Danger Dan, the Action Man!" was unplugged and removed from the arcade after the game had softlocked in a state that even resetting couldn't fix. To the people of the arcade, it was sad to see one of the older games go. But the reality was way sadder than any would know.]

[In the game was a different story. Lore and programming clashed as Lynsie and Dan were the opposite of what the game implied. They weren't friends, that died after the first year the game was plugged in. Hell, Dan resented Lynsie, the idea that she was stronger than him but he had to save her pissed him off. Lynsie hated her situation, feeling helpless as her program made her timid and prone to being easily intimidated. Something Dan would take advantage of to keep her under control and in the game while he would go out to socialize.

Things only got worse when the players started making comments about the inconsistency and making criticizing remarks. This only made Dan more abusive and degrading to Lynsie. But there's only so much pressure a mind can take before snapping. After hearing another snarky player complain about how she was bad for just letting herself be taken then followed by Dan reinforcing how she was pathetic and only good for just standing around, she broke. She broke free of her program and of the level, running from Dan while the player could only question what was going on till the screen froze when she hit Dan into objects he couldn't interact with during gameplay.

Once in Game Central Station, she was lost and sought help, but none would go near her. In the years of her isolation, Dan had made a good reputation for himself with the other games and painted her poorly. That and, she was in the dark about an incident that happened shortly before her game was brought in. So when she tried to tell her side, she'd be shot down for either slandering Dan or for "going Turbo".

Homeless and now in a strange place with people who don't trust her, she isolated herself to avoid persecution, delving deep into places not frequented. It was there in the bowels of Game Central Station that she would be found by another in a similar state as her... Turbo. At first, his plan was to gain her trust and use her as a disposable tool, something to make his own situation a little better till he could find something better. But as the years went by, that idea changed. She changed. She grew bitter that the others dismissed her without bothering to understand her side. So when Turbo offered her a chance to take part in his plans, she took it.

Out of her game, her forced submissive program was gone and her true strength came out. She didn't back down to him when he got snippy and called him out when it was clear he was doing/did something wrong. Yet when it came to hearing him out about what happened with RoadBlasters she, to his surprise, didn't think less of him. Sure, she ragged on him for doing something so impulsive and reckless, that was a given, but that's it. And when she opened up about what happened to her he genuinely felt sympathy, and coming from him that was something. He came to respect her.

One day in 1997, the news spread of a new racing game coming to the arcade. This was the moment Turbo was waiting for, the reason he had been learning a thing or two about coding from the missions he'd been sending her out on to gather information. So while other games were busy with their own worlds, the moment that "Sugar Rush" was plugged in, the pair immediately sneaked into the game and took it over before any players had a chance to play it. This was a chance to start over. To reinvent themselves. To have lives they can be happy with. Turbo, with his love of importance and pride, became King Candy, the top racer and monarch of the kingdom. Lynsie, wanting to be useful but avoiding player attention, became Lindell Coco, the royal maid and secret enforcer of the King.

And it worked. With everyone's memories locked up, the pair were just normal parts of the game. No more hiding. No more lurking in the shadows. No more feeling empty and disconnected. They had a game to call home. This was THEIR game. And all it took was to ruin the life of a little princess whose home they now occupied as theirs.

Sure hope nothing bad happens.]

{Once again, I created a self-insert with a fucked up history. Why do I do this to versions of myself?! *sigh* For Lynn's design; I wanted to go for strong but approachably warm. She's sweet but miserable, masking her pain with a smile. With Lin; I took some aspects of my original concept, the redesign sketch from my friend @cdream25, and the uncanniness of Victorian porcelain maid dolls. She is almost eerily nice, sugarcoating her actions while being snarky and cold when pushed.

I like the idea of her being protective Turbo/King Candy and harboring feelings for him but is uncertain if the feelings are real or not, unsure if what she feels is just due to being with him for so long or if he coded her this way when they implemented themselves into the game. Like, Turbo found her and saw vulnerability, using their isolation and familiarity to mold her into making him her prerogative. Considering he reprogrammed Sugar Rush to all connect to him, it would be so like him to do so with her too. So it's an internal turmoil.

Speaking of which, she is connected to him in the code (represented by the candy wrapper bow), so when he glitches out as he does in the movie she does too. I kinda envision this leading to her having a fight with Calhoun when her true identity is revealed, because, why not have two powerful women fight? Double boss fight, that's why! I haven't settled on how her fate goes, whether she dies or not, but that's not important to me at the moment. I hope to thoughts that have read this far that you like this wacky gal of mine.}

{For a bonus, the raw pics of them so you can see all the details.}

[kneelingshadowsalome]

would you ever be interested in writing a more masc reader? i kind of got it by know you write fem!reader exclusively, so i've been wondering if you'd write something along the lines a manly gal.

like the type that sees könig do his pushups, she must also immediately try to catch up to him? she sits manspread and wears manly clothes and makes everything a raunchy sex joke and has no shame and is kind of a muscle mommy and a total gremlin? something like that? and it disarms könig completely cuz he's used to damsels in distress, but this one can do everything herself but somehow wants him?? like an equal partner?

also can u pls tell each of your königs i love them with all i have? pls? 🥺 they're like my reason for living this past year i wanna give them a big sweet kiss and pet them

🤲 here, have an offering as gratitude. ignore the arms lol

Maaaan your offering 😭😭💖💞

And yes I have a habit of writing König with helpless maidens and sassy fairies don’t I 😂

So… König with masc!reader…. (Lol this turned out very rivals to lovers but I hope you enjoy!)

König can be a little off-putting. One would think that a man of his size wouldn’t get so threatened by a girl with some muscles on her... But you catch him mansplaining guns to you more than once, showing off his new rifle and then snapping his mouth shut when you fire a round of 5 bullseyes with a calm, stable breath and perfect posture.

“It’s nice,” you give it back to him, “but I’ve seen better.”

Knowing that you just threw his own words back at him – he’s always boasting on the field – König just blinks and grabs his rifle from you.

“...Where?”

“In my safe,” you shrug, trying to keep a neutral face.

And you’ve seen him during sparring, knowing already that he likes to one-up everyone. König is skilled and fierce, but he’s also competitive to the point of petty, which is why you’re amused when he suddenly turns gentle, even hesitant when paired with you.

At some point, it starts to get on your nerves though. It’s slightly insulting, even sexist, that he’s trying to treat you like a gentleman when you’re supposed to hit each other. So, you snap a good right hook through his guard and watch the man see some stars. Hoping that it would fix that attitude, you do it again, and again until he stops giving you the princess treatment.

But even after that, you see he’s holding back. The more you try to get him to attack properly, the more pissed off he gets, refusing to strike you even when you bring him down – a man twice your size – and gloat over him. His eyes are flaming because he just lost for the sake of some weird “I don’t hit women” policy, and it shouldn’t bother you. The man’s an asshole, what are you to do?

Still, it’s giving you a headache. Did you win the match only because he allowed it? You almost smack him in the head again. You already dealt with these kinds of idiots at the training program, and now you have to take shit from pros too? While you’re the pro? Jesus.

Determined to give him hell for the rest of the week, you make a lousy joke about the size of his gun when you go on a mission. It’s a bit unhanded, because this lame ass fool actually gets bothered by your quip, and you mentally beat yourself up for messing with your partner’s head before an important hostage rescue.

He barges through the door like a bull, and you purse your lips under your balaclava – on the other hand, is it even your fault if he gets killed because of some stupid Freudian joke?

This guy is simply too much fun…

So what happens is that you can’t keep your mouth shut. It’s horrid, what comes out of your lips when he’s trying to save lives. Things such as:

“Do you have your gun in hand?”

“I’ll keep an eye on your six while you take the women”

“Did you see their faces when König rammed himself in?”

The innuendos are obvious and rampant and so bad that König is surely blushing under that hood before you even board the plane. On top of everything, he rubs the barrel of his gun up and down in the plane because he’s so nervous. He does it absent-mindedly; the poor guy probably doesn’t understand the outrageous amount of Freudian jokes that could be cracked about that…

You try to pull yourself together after that because otherwise, people would start to suspect you’re having a crush on him. Army humour is army humour but you’re taking this shit a bit too far… Your jokes have never been this bad before, they certainly never induced such crazy behaviour from a guy.

...Because it turns out that you’ve awoken a demon.

At the gym, you see König watching you do pull ups – you’re the only girl there, yes, but you don’t wear some sculpting, seamless gym pants and a suggestive sports bra. You only have your old sweats and a tank top on, but the man's looking at you like he’s dreaming of either killing or fucking you. He's smashing the plates around like they've just personally insulted him, and glares at your way again, then lifts more than you’ve ever seen anyone lift before. He never talks to you: just stops and stares when you’re doing a set, then does his own, then glares.

You don’t know if it’s some kind of an awkward challenge or if he’s trying to flirt with you – menacingly – but you’re a mess after that gym session.

Next time during training, König personally offers to spar with you: he even pushes away the guy that had been assigned as your pair. And this time, he doesn’t hold back. He’s serious, and rough, and fucking frightening.

“That’s it, big boy,” you’re panting before half a minute has passed, “You finally found your groove?”

“No talking during sparring,” he grunts, and almost manages to land a blow – almost, because it ends with him on the floor. The takedown is something even KorTac’s best would be proud of, but he doesn’t allow you to gloat this time. Oh no: he rolls through it: actually, he rolls so that he lands on top of you, then smashes his whole weight on your chest to keep you down.

“Right where I want you,” he says, so brunt and brief that you’re not sure if you just imagined it.

“Is...that...so?”

You try to fight him in vain: he only presses you further into the mat and forces even your face to the side with his own.

“I thought you liked girls,” he pants into your ear, so low that the others can’t hear.

“That’s funny,” you whisper through clenched teeth, fingers curled around his shirt. “I thought you liked girls.”

You hear him draw air right beside your ear, and then – it’s unmistakable, the throbbing pulse against your thigh.

He’s getting hard.

The fucking moron is getting hard during a sparring session with you–

“There’s no need to crush your partner,” the trainer instructs, to everybody grinding on the mat in general, perhaps, but you have a feeling he’s directing the words König who’s currently choking you with his entire body.

“Is this what you want?”

He lets you breathe, only enough so you can turn and have another staring competition with him, this time with his mouth only a hair’s breadth away. Those eyes are hard as steel and as beautiful as snow, and that stare still wants to either fuck or murder you…

“Hm? You want to get crushed?”

“...Why do you think I joined the army?” You laugh breathlessly, eyes glimmering from mirth. He’s such a sight when he’s angry and confused.

Your cheeky answer only makes him more perplexed. Poor man – it’s so easy to tease him that you almost feel like a bully.

“That's right... Take your time getting up, there’s no need to rush,” you breathe, and watch the snow melt into a bewildered cerulean sea.

It sets sooner than you thought, his lids dropping as he settles to watch your lips, the heavy pulse on your neck.

“Oh I’m up already.”

[warpedpuppeteer]

I ask where? Are these scenes not on my tv? Also blaming buck for the date? REALYYYYYYY

Hi there! Thanks for sending this ask. The only explanation I have is that they're all mass hallucinating. Suffering some kind of delusional disease. Let's pray for their health 🙏🏽 Also, hope you don't mind but I'm about to rip these losers a new one.

He was so kind when he left Buck on their first date just because Buck was still new to queer dating and said something stupid in a panic which btw shouldn't have even offended him because he KNEW Buck was new to this.

He was so perceptive when he made the lame ass kink joke when Buck had been worried about his father figure DYING and shared a bit of his trauma with him.

He was so considerate when he took into account how excited and stressed Buck was about Chim's bachelor party and decided to *check notes* not to dress up because *squints at smudged writing* he was on duty even though he still could have made some kind of effort.

"Man looks intimidating" meanwhile him 🗿. He looks dumb as rocks. That's an insult to rocks. Rocks have personality.

"He's huge" yeah a huge waste of time.

Again, these weirdos have twisted Buck's character into some kind of damsel in distress and the other one as his white stale bread knight. Also reeks of heteronormative nonsense.

BUCK is huge and capable and gentle! Stop stealing other character's traits just to paste it onto your white bland plot device character!

"Always making sure Buck meets him halfway" oh you mean like the time he kissed Buck without asking first? Or the time he didn't tell Buck he was leaving until his uber came and didn't even have the decency to order one for Buck?

"giving him assurance" oh you mean like the time he said enjoy it while it lasts when Buck was happy about something?

Should I go on because I can and will dismantle every single delusional thought these mfs have.

Next.

You know what's not healthy for the beginning of a relationship? Walking out of your first date because your newly queer partner didn't want to come out of the closet to their best friend (and not to mention the best friend's gf was there).

You can be upset if you already expected your partner to be open about their queerness but Buck didn't say jack shit to him. He just wanted to try going out because he was attracted to him! Thumbtack didn't't say jack shit to Buck either.

As an older queer person, he should be more than aware that coming out to people you love can be terrifying! Even if they are good people. Sure you can expect to date someone who's only out but how tf was Buck supposed to know that when this is literally their first date?! Also this mf was so deep in the closet when he was working he had a fake girlfriend and everything so this is really fucking rich coming from him. Like, the audacity?

And not to mention he didn't say anything and just walked out, letting Buck chase after him in confusion and then left him on the sidewalk letting Buck feel BAD FOR NOT COMING OUT. You know how fucking insane that is??! So get the fuck out of my face with this nonsense.

I'm absolutely convinced Trolldemort stans are the kind of people who would absolutely create or join a racist, homophobic, misogynistic cult. Same creepy vibes.

[katsublast]

In Another Life

Chapter One: Yuga Aoyama: Origin

“Mama, Papa, why am I different from everyone else?”

Yuga had come home from school crying again. He was five years old and still didn’t have a quirk. His parents had taken him to the doctor. They did a whole bunch of x-rays and tests. Yuga was honestly a little scared. The doctors were saying some big words to each other in hushed tones. Yuga didn’t know what most of them meant yet, but they sounded serious. Was something wrong with him?

The doctor eventually came back into the exam room, carefully closing the door behind him. The doctor sat down on the stool in front of Yuga and his parents, a solemn expression on his face.

“I’m sorry, but it doesn’t look like Yuga is going to develop a quirk.” The doctor’s voice was grim but his eyes were kind. Yuga could tell he was genuinely sad to be telling him this. “Based on the x-rays that we did, Yuga only has one joint in his pinky toe. As you know, that usually indicates that he doesn’t have a quirk gene. That’s why we did an additional blood test to be sure, and sure enough, Yuga doesn’t have a quirk gene. I’m sorry, but it appears that your son is Quirkless.”

Yuga felt like a knife had been twisted in his gut. He wasn’t going to be like the other kids. Everyone at school was already making fun of him as it is. It was only going to get worse now. Yuga began to cry.

“That can’t be possible. We’re fourth generation quirk users!” Yuga’s dad shouted, hitting the exam table in frustration. “There has to be some kind of mistake! Run the blood test again! I’m sure Yuga has some kind of quirk gene!”

Yuga’s mom tugged on his dad’s arm. “Enough, Kiyoshi. You’re scaring Yuga.”

Kiyoshi’s eyes softened somewhat as he looked back at Yuga. “I’m sorry, Yuga. I didn’t mean to yell.”

Kiyoshi turned back to the doctor. “Please forgive my outburst. It’s just so hard to believe that our son could be Quirkless. Neither of us have any Quirkless relatives.”

“It’s quite alright, sir.” The doctor said with a smile. “You’d be surprised at the number of people who yell at me every day. I deliver a lot of unfortunate news to people on the regular. Such is the life of a quirk specialist.”

Kiyoshi sighed. “Even so, that was unbecoming of me. I apologize. I don’t wish to set that kind of an example for Yuga.”

“Like I said, it’s alright.” The doctor said, standing up from his stool. “You’ll be happy to note that Yuga is in perfect health otherwise. He’ll be able to live a perfectly normal life. He doesn’t have any dreams of heroics, right? It’s not like he’d need a quirk for any other career, especially not with your connections.”

“Of course Yuga doesn’t want to be a hero,” Yuga’s mother said, letting out an anxious chuckle. “He’s a sensitive boy. Heroics would be too much for him, even with a quirk. I’m just happy to hear that being Quirkless won’t be too hard on him.”

Yuga didn’t talk during the car ride home from the doctor’s office. His mom tried to cheer him up, but all he could think about was the fact that he was going to be different from everyone else. He didn’t want to be different. He just wanted to be normal.

At school, all of the other kids wanted to play Heroes and Villains. It was an excuse to show off their new quirks. Most of the kids had flashy quirks. Some of the students at his school were even kids of Pro Heroes. Yuga felt left out. He was already an outcast, and they didn’t even know he was officially Quirkless yet. They just thought he was a late bloomer.

“Yuga, once you get your quirk, you can play with us!” One of the students said. “For now, you can just keep being our damsel!”

“I’m not going to get a quirk,” Yuga said quietly. “The doctor said that I’m going to be Quirkless.”

“Quirkless?” The student repeated, blinking back at Yuga with a confused expression. “What’s that?”

“It means that he’s going to be lame and boring his whole life,” Another student said. “That’s what my daddy always says. He says that everybody that has weak quirks aren’t any good at anything. They should all be garbage men or something.”

“Garbage men are cool!” Another student retorted. “Yuga isn’t cool enough to be a garbage man. They drive those big trucks and stuff! So cool!”

“Yeah, Yuga’s always been kind of a wimp, so him being Quirkless doesn’t really change anything.” The first student said. “He can keep being the damsel for now.”

“Yeah, I bet it’ll give him practice for real life too!” The second student laughed. “I bet the heroes are going to have to save him a lot! He doesn’t have any powers, and he’s a total wimpy crybaby. Talk about lame!”

“Yeah, Yuga’s never gonna be a hero or a garbage man!” The third student chimed in. “I get to be one of the heroes this time! You guys made me be a villain last time, so it’s my turn to play Hero!”

Yuga came home from school feeling defeated. Is he really just going to be a boring wimpy crybaby for his entire life? Is he going to have to live the rest of his life knowing that he’ll always be different from everyone else?

“How was school today, Yuga?” His mom asked him. The smile on her face was tighter than normal. He could tell that she was putting on an act. She was worried about him.

“It was fine, Mama,” Yuga said with a smile. “There’s no need to worry.”

If he was going to be forced to be different from everyone else, he was going to choose to stand out on purpose. And what other to stand out than choose a path no one could see him taking?

“Mama, Papa, I’m going to be different from everybody else. I’m going to be a hero. The first ever Quirkless one.”

Nine Years Later

Yuga’s father brought him on a business trip to Musutafu. He was still trying to discourage him from becoming a hero. Yuga was well aware that his father didn’t believe it was possible to be a Quirkless hero, but his father at least pretended to support his dream to his face. That doesn’t change the fact that his father keeps bringing him along on all his business trips in hopes that learning the ropes of the family business will change his mind.

Nothing will change Yuga’s mind. He refused to be different from everyone else in such a boring way. No one would ever really respect him no matter what he did. Even with his father’s connections, they couldn’t erase discrimination. Yuga would be an outcast no matter what he did. At least trying to become a hero made him stand out on purpose. He would force people to notice him, no matter what.

If Yuga had been born with a Quirk, he probably wouldn’t even want to become a hero. Though he doubts he would ever have been content working for his father. Yuga never wanted to be that boring.

“You should be paying attention, Yuga.” His father sighed. “I suppose you can take a break. Go buy yourself a snack or something. I have to meet with an investor soon.”

“Yes, Papa.”

Yuga was walking to a nearby convenience store when he heard a loud explosion nearby. Was that a villain attack? His feet seemed to move on their own, turning around to arrive at the scene.

Fire engulfed the shopping district, a sludge monster rampaging in the center of it. Yuga covered his mouth with his hands. It looks like he took a kid hostage. The kid looked to be around Yuga’s age too. Yuga felt for the kid. What should he do? He wanted to be a hero, didn’t he? He was going to stand out if he was just some bystander. He had to act.

Yuga charged at the villain without any sort of plan. In that moment, he realized what an idiot he was. How was he supposed to defeat such a strong villain with no quirk and no support gear?

Right, support gear!

Yuga’s eyes searched the area for something he could use as he ran towards the villain. His eyes landed on a pipe on the ground. One of the sludge villain’s large hands lunged towards Yuga, threatening to grab him.

Yuga slid on the ground, narrowly dodging the villain’s outstretched arm. He managed to grab the pipe on the ground as he rolled out of the way of another of the villain’s arms. Yuga leaped to his feet, thankful to the training he had done with the personal trainer that his parents had hired last year.

Yuga swung the pipe at the villain’s eye, temporarily blinding the sludge monster. The hostage used that moment to get his mouth free from the sludge, taking a much needed breath of fresh air.

“What the hell are you doing?” The hostage yelled at Yuga.

“I’m saving you, obviously!” Yuga shouted indignantly. “You should be honored. You’re being saved by the world’s first Quirkless hero!”

The hostage’s yelling distracted Yuga for long enough for the sludge villain to strike again. Yuga didn’t have enough time to dodge this time. Merde. I’m so dead.

But the finishing blow never came. Yuga slowly looked up to see no other than the number one hero in front of him. “Fear not! Help has arrived! Why? Because I am here!”

“All Might,” Yuga whispered in awe. He wasn’t a Super Fan by any means, but anyone who didn’t find All Might awe-inspiring was either lying or a villain. And Yuga was neither of those things.

All Might punched the villain into the sky, the force from the punch so powerful that it even changed the weather. Yuga couldn’t help but stare up at him in shock.

The heroes chastised Yuga for being reckless, which Yuga could agree with. But he wasn’t going to stand out if he stood by and did nothing. While his actions were reckless, he hasn’t done anything illegal so he was allowed to leave.

Yuga knew that his father would be furious with him for putting himself in danger like that. But even if he got in trouble with his father, he knew that his father couldn’t ignore that he was dazzling out there. He made an impact. He managed to free the hostage, even for a moment. His training had paid off.

Yuga felt a tap on his shoulder. “Young man, can I speak with you for a moment?” He turned around to face a skeletal looking man in a white T-shirt and cargo pants. “I work for All Might. I have a proposition for you.”

From the shadows, green eyes narrowed with concern. A proposition, huh?

[theygotlost]

What do you think of the Hitchhiker’s Guide movie?

My dad really likes it (I think I remember him saying he likes it more than the book) but I don’t care for it and it is a matter of debate for us

well i just finished rewatching it just now so here's all my thoughts fresh out of the oven!

I don't like it. it's bad and not good. at best it's just mediocre. I hateeeeee that they forced an arthur/trillian romance its so annoying and insufferable and NOTHING. ITS SO LAME. especially cause trillian also became a damsel in distress and I just had to roll my eyes back into my head.

ig the book didn't have enough content to adapt into a feature film so they added an entirely original midsection with that creepy guy named kamala harris or whatever his name was and the entire time i was just like uhhh wtf is happening and why are we here. as a result the ending feels pretty rushed to me.

there were a couple of new additions that I thought weren't half bad though. like the flyswatters on the vogon planet that slap you every time you think for yourself and marvin using the point of view gun to give the vogon army acute depression. those were pretty good.

and who the hell cast this movie? zooey deschanel as trillian sucked ass. I don't like her or her scary blue eyes or her lackadaisical #californiagurl performance. mos def is also a terrible actor and not a convincing ford at all. martin freeman at least has the appropriate depressed british white man vibes to be arthur but i hate looking at his face cause it just reminds me of sherlock.

zaphod is the one I have the most to say about. I actually do like sam rockwell's zaphod because he looks the part and is appropriately sleazy. and I liked his outfits and accessories (though imo there was too much black and I would have preferred more bright colors and patterns). I especially love his combo of nail polish and this little gold chain thingy on his hand. just a nice lil slutty detail.

I'm completely baffled by his choice of a southern american accent though, where'd that come from? is it supposed to be like a bill clinton hillbilly president type deal or something?

and of course there's the elephant in the room regarding his heads. oh christ almighty how I hate the way they handled his second head. I get that it would have been harder to pull off the normal 2 heads side by side in a convincing way for the entire movie (its 2005 and the cgi in this movie looks fake as shit), but good lord every time his second head popped up from below seriously made me want to retch. its sickening to look at and sickening to think about and it's just way more awkward than the more straightforward solution. I also think it's strange that the movie added an explanation that zaphod created the second head during his campaign to store all his uncharismatic traits??? why can't he just be an alien with 2 heads??? I ALSO seriously hate how the other head is all CRAZYYYYYY AND WEIRDDDD AND INSANEEE ASYLUMMMMMM it's not funny at all it's just really hard to watch.

all these issues are kind of surprising given that douglas adams is credited as an executive producer AND screenplay writer? which is also weird since the movie was released 4 years after his death? I have no idea what the production of this movie was like and I'm afraid to find out.

[mikuni14]

Jun & Jun Ep 6 - serving the best kiss of the year :)

Korea has a tendency to sneak up on me and attack me with shows I expect nothing from and which turn out to be hidden gems. Last year it was Oh! Boarding House, and this year is full of such ambushes, like Our Dating Sim, Sing My Crush and now Jun & Jun.

The common features of these series are: they are short, they have an interesting plot but without overdoing it, the "uke type" is strong and has his own story and agenda, one can even say that he's somehow dominant in the relationship and … these series have surprisingly for Korea, lovely kisses (which is why Unconditional Love Story didn't make it to my list, it's a great series but the kisses are fucking lame).

Jun & Jun is a great drama, I really enjoyed the early episodes. Then the series decided to introduce 2 additional rivals, which would be ok if they didn't spend so much time on them at the expense of the main couple. The series was still fine, but it lost some od the "steam". Although the end of episode 6 made up for it 😎

What I like about this series is how obvious it is that the main leads are into each other. Choi Jun couldn't be more obvious with his crush even if he wanted to. Lee Jun is also interested in Choi Jun and no one else from the beginning. Which is wonderful, because in situations where there are few admirers, series often present people like Lee Jun as hesitant, wavering, easily manipulated, unable to make a choice, who are ultimately WON by the protagonist. This kind of stories take away the agency and free will of people for whom there is competition, as if they could not choose for themselves and someone made a choice for them, by winning the competition, showing themselves as the most worthy. Lee Jun chose by himself and did it at the beginning of the series. And he chooses even when his chosen one causes him suffering. And even when Lee Jun pushes him away. And that's what a satisfying romance is all about, it's not a "best candidate" contest.

The dynamic of this couple is just *chef's kiss*, I like everything between them. Their mutual fascination, attraction, tension. That they're both aware of what's going on between them, that Lee Jun instead of what I expected him to be: a sweet, innocent and shy boy is, oh yes, he's still cute because it works on Choi Jun 🤩! But Lee Jun is not a clueless damsel, he knows perfectly well what is going on, how he affects Choi Jun and he fully accepts it. Lee Jun, despite his sweet face, is a fighter, even quite aggressive 🤩 They both showed it all in the last scene, which I watched a million times. Their infatuation, frustration, desperation, anger, longing and lust. Choi Jun constantly confronting Lee Jun, not letting him go this time (he grabbed his arm 3 times! I counted), Lee Jun crumbling under the tension and his owne feelings and longing…

And that kiss. As far as I'm concerned, it was by far the best kiss of the year in BL. Because this kiss:

IT TOLD A STORY. It wasn't just a kiss for kissing's sake. Lee Jun initiates the kiss and immediately "gets into action" (I die a little every time I see it), Choi Jun doesn't react at first because he's shocked, but when he realizes what's going on, he responds with equal passion. This kiss is a CONVERSATION between lovers where each has a voice and the whole kiss has a narrative. Lee Jun SPEAKS to Choi Jun when he's at a loss for words and he ANSWERS.

the kiss is HOW IT SHOULD BE (and often it's not). It's passionate, it's what it should be between people who have feelings for each other, who want to show those feelings to each other physically as well. Not for a second did I feel that the actors were uncomfortable in this situation. This scene, the kiss, everything was very natural and beautiful and hot. The kiss was short, and YET, the actors managed to pack so much in it and make me as a viewer feel something. I'm moved. I love it. I'm so happy.

These are the kind of scenes I expect from my BL.

[kitkatopinions]

For the character bingo:

RWBY: Torchwick

Kingdom Hearts: Axel

Sonic the Hedgehog: Amy Rose

Tangled the Series: Eugene

These are all characters I adore, so this will be fun.

First off, Roman Torchwick! I'll elaborate on anything I feel like elaborating on below.

This is one of two characters in RWBY that I've put a lot of thought into them and why they do what they do. I've invented an entire past, relatives, father figures, ex-partners, a semblance, ways he coped with his trauma, what songs he loves the most... I did too much thinking about Roman Torchwick. XD

The funny thing is that one of the things I've projected onto the character of Roman is the tendency to project onto people. Once while I was writing Roman to get into a fight with Mercury, I had Roman project his own tendency to project onto Mercury while Emerald was calling him out for projecting.

Canon isn't real if I don't look at it is basically how I live my life. And in my head, Roman survived the Fall of Beacon, teamed up with Emerald and Mercury, found Neo, and all of them started on a lengthy and difficult road to redemption.

I love writing for bastards and Roman is a great one. I just said I liked to imagine him going down a lengthy and difficult road to redemption, but I can't write him to be a 'nice' person, because Roman is at his most fun if he's able to sling insults or make fun of people or have fits of rage.

Now for Axel, formerly known as Lea!

By 'I am so normal about them,' I of course mean I am not normal at all. I adore Axel and flip my lid every time I get to see him.

I've written fanfics specifically centered around most of the Organization members, so I have tons of headcanons about the whole of the Organization. But tbh, especially Axel.

I put in that if anything happened to him, I would cry, because after all Axel’s been through, isn't he entitled to some happiness with his children Roxas and Xion? I think so!

Now for my girl Amy Rose!

She really is a beast. You guys, Amy can fuck people up! This is especially clear in the IDW comics. And I haven't read lots of the other kinds of comics outside of IDW, but I do have this Sonic Select comic where Amy is getting in a fight with I think Eggman and Shadow and Knuckles are there and she's like "you know what, I don't even need to do it myself" and has Knuckles and Shadow beat stuff up for her. I love her so much.

Not to get too into some drama, but sometimes people tend to just disregard Amy completely. I know she was invented to be a Sonic obsessed 'would be girlfriend' who gets Damseled all the time, and that's obviously pretty sexist, but at this point, Amy (especially in the IDW comics) has had a lot of advancement and some people still tend to treat her like a useless airhead. Also some Princess Sally fans make fun of her and I think that's... Lame.

The ‘they are so silly’ is more about Amy in things like Sonic Adventure and Adventure 2 and even up to Sonic 2006. Because she was very silly, but I still absolutely loved her.

Now onto my boy Eugene Fitzherbert!

Honestly, he is such a goofball and I love that. He's also so good because he actually doesn't take himself super seriously all the time and can joke around and take and give some ribbing.

His first look in the series is pretty much just his look from the movie but with a black vest, but the season two look is great. Aaaand my favorite look is his purple look with the jacket! And the captain of the guard stuff looks so good too! Eugene just serves looks all the time.

Sometimes fandom people can be mean, but not the whole fandom. Lots of people like him, but there are some people who hate him because he gets in the way of their favorite character or ship, and that's fair (I've hated characters for that very reason,) but some of them then search for ways to justify that hate and it gets extreme and irrational.

But yeah, so those are my bingo answers, thanks for sending these!

[allamericansbitch]

Replying to your previous answer!

I can list you some fun and good Tamil movies that aren't lame with fridging in them if you'd like! They can be pretty fun though I do think Bollywood movies have more fun plots!

The plot of Monkey Man isn't anything new by any means - I mean we've all heard the John Wick comparisons before it came out. But watching the movie itself, I was very much reminded of Indian action films. However with Indian movies, there is always a romantic plot with the female lead being the damsel in distress. I am so glad Dev just made a pure action movie. I think if he and Sita had a plot like that it would have ruined the few scenes they did have.

The main two things he did that was different from typical Indian films is the political messaging - it's super overt but not in a way that hits you over the head and having the inclusion of the Hijra community!! Mainstream Indian movies could never and that's exactly why Monkey Man is being delayed in India despite the movie being wholly set there 🤡

(Sorry this got long! But my dad never appreciated this movie like I did and I haven't gushed to anyone else abt this movie yet. Also the way my dad was more emotional over Barbie than this movie 💀)

i’d love to hear some recommendations! i’m super busy rn so i can’t promise i’ll get to them right away but i’ll definitely put them on my list of movies to watch at some point lol. and i agree that a romantic plot would’ve felt very out of place and kind of forced tbh. and that’s wild it’s still delayed…. hmmm….

[halt-kun]

My Hero Academia Chapter 407 - Paranormal Orphan

Okay so will Bakugou end AFO today because that's what I'm expecting, that bastard lived long enough

Who can that be ? It looks like Erin's quirk

It could also be the mother of all quirks

Oh shit no it must be AFO and the first's mother Did we know they were twins and not just brothers

"Lucky" babies, it's like moses

Oh no, are we reaching the alien stage of MHA Please noo i was fine with just regular mutations

Could alien even just randomly edit DNA if they knew nothing about it, life is a complex thing and it would take decades (and I'm being nice) to study

Would they just study for decades just to prank some random species ?

It could also be a sort of virus that could do horizontal transfer but then again it'd need to operate on the basis of earth lifeforms molecular mechanisms.

Being a biologist just ruins the fun of this kind of things

It could have just been mutations and I can buy it in the context of a story but please aliens need to be explained

edit : when I read myself again I realized they could have meant just viruses but that's weird how this would work too, ONE GENE !!! ALL QUIRKS ?!?

Oh no racism began

See !!!! Who said it wasn't human !?

Oh no is that AFO ???

Well the racist guys are dead now

Okay well she had an interesting quirk

Were quirk this strong at first ?

I would have guessed they were really shitty like a fire quirk could be used as a lighter

I'm not sure she would have produced enough milk by herself to feed two babies until they could be weaned and moreover without any risk of the milk spoiling

Well a psychopath through and through

The famous comic !!!!

Well, your older brother needed a psychiatrist and a decent upbringing, not a comic book

No don't kill someone that can glow just because he got more fans

Bad AFO -_-

He just killed a poor guy with a lame quirk

Is your thing to impersonate him now ?

Fucked up kid

Well this was interesting to know : even as a baby, AFO was rotten to the core

He can try having dreams but they always imply his domination over others

I'm glad his brother got free AFO really doesn't care about anything else, is he technically ace ? I really wish they had better representation then

Well for all we know The first could also be ace.

Of course he had to be saved by some guy like a damsel in distress

OH NO HE WASN'T SAVED AT AL

well the one really had a sad life

[huenjin]

and they were roommates.

summary — who would have thought that a very naked sight of your best friend and a torn shower curtain in the rainiest of weathers could start romance? or in which you start falling for your childhood best friend, lee minho, unaware that he’s always been in love with you.

pairing — lee minho x reader, ft. binsung.

genre — fluff, smut, crack | roommates!au, bff2l!au

rating — 18+

word count — 11k words.

note — smut warnings under the cut, ofc! i suck at making summary adagafga!! but but but, i promise this story is adorable, okay, minus all that smut, my lame humor and those bit of rushed parts? this took forever and i'm so sorry for all that had to wait, especially the one who requested this uwuwu. 

smut warnings — a lot of kissing, a lot of swearing, mentions of naked exposure, fingering, cunnilingus, riding/reader on top, penetration, unprotected sex (wrap it before you snap it), choking. there isn't a loooot of smut either, ah! so enjoy the fluff ride.

"You idiot," you scream, loud enough for your neighbours to hear. You pull out the keys that hang outside in the key hole and pull open the door. "How could you leave the keys outside, Minho?"

"I mean, what if someone stole it?" You throw your keys and Minho's into the small box on a ledge by the door. Removing your shoes, you put on the pair of your house shoes by the side and walk further into the apartment. "Or what if someone broke in? You could get killed, you dumb hoe! Or worse, our new television could get stolen."

You hear no response and just the loud sound of shower running in the bathroom hits the walls of your shared apartment. You walk to your room, passing by the common bathroom, after throwing your bag on the sofa. You talk on the way, yelling in hopes that he would hear.

"Did you walk back in the rain? There's no other reason as to why I did not see you after college. Jisung was searching for you too, Minho."

You change into a pair of shorts and black camisole, pulling your hair up and knotting it, all while your ears pick up the small humming from the bathroom. You shake your head at the fact that since it's Lee Minho in the shower, he is probably going to take his own time to come out. After all, he is the reason why your water bill is so high. 

"Yah, Lee Minho!" You walk outside and hit the door with your fists to bring at least a little of his attention towards you. "Do you want the leftovers or should I get food delivered?"

"Delivery!" he screams back, hearing the shower sounds lower and you yell back in response, "Okay," and walk back to the living room, falling back and plopping down on the comfortable rexine covered sofa. 

Your phone rings in the next minute and you are pulling it from your pocket quickly all because you are bored out of your mind. It is also because your stupid best friend from the god forbidden age of five to till this date, takes forever to get out from the shower.

It's Jisung. Not that you would have a doubt even if you had picked up without looking at the name on the screen — your friend circle is that small. It has just been you, Minho and Jisung majorly for almost three fourth of your life, the other one fourth of it with you having your parents as your best friends. Jisung had always been the annoying kid in the playground that pushed you off the swing because he wanted to play and Minho had always been the knight in shining armour in your local playground, the defender of all things right as he saved you from Jisung's frustrating taunts. 

And then your mother — oh dear, she is the reason why you are still stuck with Minho's rich arse (mostly because she thought too that this is the finest her very antisocial daughter would ever find in a man) — decides that since Lee Minho was so kind to save her poor damsel-like daughter, he might as well do it forever. Fast forward to present day, and you are still cleaning up after him. 

"Did Minho reach home?" Jisung asks as soon as you answer the call. You roll your eyes and shift your position to one that allows you to stretch your leg against the length of the sofa.

"Oh, hi, Y/N," you fake your tone, mocking Jisung's ignorance. "Did you reach home safely? Did you get caught in the rain? Oh no!" And then quickly changing it back to normalcy, "Yes, Jisung. I reached home safely. The rain did get heavy as I walked back home but nothing to worry. Did you reach home safely?"

Jisung is laughing loudly on the other end. "Sorry, Y/N," he makes a weird kissing sound and you pull your phone away from your ear. "I presume Minho's safe at home, else you would be the one to crash my phone with the endless calls in worry of his safety. Ha!"

"He got caught in the rain," you sigh. "I hope he's okay though. I would have mentioned how he was, had he just come out of that goddamn bathroom but no! It almost seems like he is rebuilding the whole bathroom." Jisung laughs so loud that you have to pull the phone away from your ear again. 

"Dude, dude, dude," Jisung calls out for you through the line.

"Yeah?" 

"You and Minho are totally like my parents fighting." 

"Do you want to get punched in your face, Han Jisung?" You sit up straight, folding your leg across each other and bending forward, your elbow digging into your thigh as your hand supports your head. 

"And my boyfriend would punch yours if you punched mine," he huffs and you know he is talking about Seo Changbin. At a good five feet and six inches, the shorter male befriended Jisung and then wooed him over in grade eleven with some weird shining universe experiment for a science project and the Han Jisung you had always known, fell for the gesture immediately. They began dating a week after, making Changbin the only other human being you willingly chose to become closer to.

"Like Minho would let that," you click your tongue and Jisung laughs again, mumbling, "How have you guys not slept with each other yet? You guys are roommates."

"I'll kill you, Han Jisung."

"Like you would." The minute Jisung taunts back, you hear a loud noise of something crashing down and the sound is from the bathroom. You jump upwards, quickly hanging up without even telling Jisung that you were leaving as you drop your phone and rush towards the bathroom, taking huge steps to reach before the door in less than a few seconds.

You slam your fist against the door, over and over again, yelling, "Yah," to draw his attention before asking, "Minho, are you okay? I'm coming in," and you pull open the door to the common bathroom. A decision you wish you had not chosen but one you had to take for his safety.

Before a very surprised you lay a very, very naked Lee Minho, groaning with his back against the cold white tiles of the bathroom, neck lifting his head above to instinctively avoid hitting the floor. His hand holds a huge piece of the shower curtain that he must have tried holding onto before falling and as the colour drains from your face, lips wide apart, staring at your naked best friend in shock who is staring back at you, it dawns upon you quickly.

You immediately slap your hand over your eyes and scream as loud as you could possibly, "Fuck, fuck. I just saw your schlong, oh my god!"

"Are you not going to look at me at all now that you saw my dick?"

Minho rolls his eyes at you as a soft groan leaves his lip while he tries to make himself more comfortable on his bed. This time, he is fully clothed, black shirt over his torso and navy blue shorts. You are sitting on a small chair by his side, Chinese herbal medicinal mix in a white ceramic bowl, a tub filled with warm water and a towel and long white bandages on the table by the bed. The Chinese herbal medicinal mix was something your mother specifically ordered you to prepare for the boy before you.

You hand him a cup of warm water first which he takes and is about to swallow it down when you look at the wooden bedpost behind him and mumble, "But I saw your womb raider." Minho chokes on the water before coughing and you quickly pat his back which leads him to cry softly in pain and you are left apologising over and over again for being reckless.

He places the cup on the table and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, he narrows his eyes at you and questions, "Womb raider? What the fuck?"

"You know, your schlong," you look away, heat rising up to your cheek. "I saw your schlong, a womb raider."

"I can't believe you call a dick that," he groans, rolling his eyes as if he has completely given up on you, "After having your womb raided enough by many womb raiders."

You look away, taking the ceramic bowl in your hand and mumbling, "None of them were long and thick enough to be called a womb raider though."

"Did you say anything, Y/N?" 

"Nothing," you yell and glare at him, cheeks still hot with the image still vivid in your head. "You can't look disappointed in me," you frown at him, "I should be disappointed. You tore the shower curtain."

"It was a mistake!" Minho gasps and tries to sit up but quickly ditches the plan when he feels the spin surge through him. You place the bowl back on the table and push yourself forward to help Minho sit up, your arms wrapped around his waist, your chest against his as you slowly pull him up. Minho explains himself, "If I didn't hold onto that, I would have gotten injured worse. I'm almost perfect now. It's just the slight—" You press your palm against his back and he seethes in pain.

"Slight pain, indeed," you scoff and finally let him rest against the bedpost. "This should do the magic though." You lift the ceramic bowl again and wave it before him, shoving the weird smelling green substance right in front of his nose. "My mother totally said it would work. She also said that you would have to be on the bed resting the whole day."

"You'll be my maid the whole day," Minho lights up, face instantly shining and you sigh, "Do I have an option? After this day though, we are going to buy shower curtains and you are going to pay for it because you tore it." You accuse him and he clicks his tongue.

"Fine."

"Remove your shirt now," you order and he looks at you, a teasing glint glistening in his eyes and he smiles, moving slightly closer.

"Why? Are you going to call my abs washboard now? That you could do laundry on them?" He purses his lips and leans forward and you push him back, his aching back hitting the bedpost again and Minho is crying with pain on the soft impact, albeit this time, you worry if it is fake. "Y/N," he cries, clamping down against his lower teeth hard, "Can you go easy on me?"

"Then stop teasing me!"

"Fine!" He huffs and looks away, "Help me out of this shirt now."

"What? Why? You put the shirt on fine. Can't you remove it on your own?" You question him, the ceramic bowl securely on your lap. Minho stares at you for the longest time ever and you stare back.

Has his eyes always been this tender? Has his skin always been this soft? Was Lee Minho always this charming and pretty to look at?

This is all because you saw his stupidly good dick, argh!

Minho finally answers, "It's harder to remove a shirt than to wear it." You shake your head and your eyes narrow to crinkled slits as you watch your best friend for a second more before placing the crucible back on the table and bending yourself forward to hold tightly the ends of his black shirt. You lift the black material up and remove it from his torso, exposing his abdomen and chest to the warm breeze in the air. 

He stares at you and you stare at him back, only till you take the white ceramic bowl again and hopefully the last time and you raise an eyebrow at him, mocking him, "Aren't you going to give me the classic Wattpad naked white male line?"

"What line?" 

He looks confused and you laugh, holding the bowl tightly, "You know, the—" You try to lower the pitch of your voice and to sound as cocky as possible, smirking, "Like what you see, baby girl?"

Minho laughs with you till he calms himself down a little, tilts his head and in the most guttural voice you have ever heard your best friend ever go, he repeats, "Like what you see, my baby girl?"

Your heart should not have sped up. Your fingers should not have tightened against the cold white crucible. You should not have pressed your thighs against each other. You should not have had your throat dried up at his very words. But it did and you are staring at Lee Minho in an angle you had never seen him. 

When did that stupid five year old boy who thought he could save the whole world grow up into this man?

"Uh, Y/N," Minho waves his hand in front of you, trying to bring your attention back. "Are you going to apply the medicine or? I mean, it's cold."

"Oh yeah," you stutter. "Yeah, yeah, I was about to. Can you turn back so that I can apply it on your back?"

"Yeah," he nods and pressing his hands into the mattress, he shifts himself, turning a one hundred and eight degrees away from you so that his back is facing yours. "This okay?"

"Yeah," you agree. You bend your arm forward to take the cloth soaked in warm water and you press it against his back. Minho bites his tongue in pain, eyes watering before he can't take it anymore and he turns back to face you. 

"Minho?"

"Can I do that thing you allowed me to do whenever I was in pain and you had to take care of me?" He asks, unsure, "Am I allowed?"

You nod, softly, smiling warmly at the man before you and you lift the chair up slightly. Minho quickly wraps his arms around your waist, his face buried into your soft chest as he edges closer to you. You place the warm cloth again on his broad back and Minho does what he has always done to combat pain.

He bites into your flesh softly, hard enough to trigger something weird within you at this age but soft enough to not cause any pain. 

Your eyes widen and your thighs tighten a bit but Minho is unaware to all this as he snuggles into your warmth, head fuzzy with the pain that throbs through his entire back. After a few minutes, you place the cloth back on the table and hold the crucible tightly. You dig your forefinger and middle finger into the green mix before applying it on his back, soft circles to calm him down and Minho lets go of your flesh, although he still continues to snuggle into you, his thick arms tightening around your frame.

"You're comfortable to hug," he mumbles as you apply the medicine all over his back, his face occasionally pressing against your breast and you gulp, reminding yourself that this is your best friend, that this is the kid you've seen in all his embarrassments. 

"Of course, I am," you laugh. "It doesn't pain that much, does it?"

"Not anymore."

"Good," and you apply another layer over the existing one. "Because if you say anything else to my mother, I swear to God, Lee Minho, I will—"

You don't complete. Minho laughs — soft, precious laughter that fills the air and engages your ears. He tilts his head to look up at you from his lower angle. You look down only to come in direct vision of his bright, glistening eyes that hold the stars behind them and his oh-so-flawless skin that you are envious of. Your heart beat escalates and you are about one hundred percent sure that Minho is aware. After all, he did have his ear against your chest in this position. 

"Fine, fine," his voice is airy and you could listen to it the whole day. "I'll tell your mother that her daughter took care of me perfectly, alright?"

"Perfect," you smile. "Now sit up straight. I need to bandage you up, just in case." Minho begrudgingly pulls back, a soft whimper leaving his lips before he huffs, folding his arms and sitting straight, looking you in the eyes and you gulp. 

"I'll be fine in a day, Y/N," Minho whines and you shake your head, mumbling, "Just in case." You turn your body to grab hold of the white roll of bandage before you beckon for him to come a little closer as you wrap the bandage over his torso, covering the medicinal herbs sticking to his body now. 

"You, in fact," you chuckle as you tighten the bandage and Minho seethes in pain at having his muscles pressed. You rub his hair affectionately before continuing, "You, Lee Minho, should be ready enough to cash out money for the shower curtain."

"Fine, fine, fine," Minho huffs only to break out into a smile as he looks at you. "We'll go as soon as I don't think I'll die if I stand up and straighten my back, okay?"

"Perfect," you laugh and pull yourself away from your best friend, clipping the bandage in the exact manner. You help him lie back against the soft mattress. You pick up the crucible and the tub of water as you stand up. 

"Y/N," Minho calls out for you and you turn, your head gliding against the joint and your eyebrows rising up in question.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks," he smiles, eyes closed and face so soft that you do want to hold it.

"For what?"

"For taking care of me, doofus. What would I have done had you not been there? You are my knight in shining armour now."

You laugh but your heart is furiously beating against your chest, thrumming against it so loudly that you can hear the beats. Your cheeks flush with heat and you look away, mumbling, "It's nothing," and walk away. You close the door quickly and fall against the vast wooden door finally, away from his presence and you hold the bowls close to you.

Fuck. When did your heart start beating this hard for the same man that you once knew as the stupid five year old with elephant print trunks? When did your heart start thrumming so loudly against your chest for your only best friend?

Either ways, you are doomed. Inevitably.

Jisung: baby, i think it's about time Changbin: for what? Jisung: you know, how we always said those two should probably fuck Changbin: yeah? Jisung: the sexual tension is too high. can we get it over with already and have them date already? Changbin: you've been trying this forever and you failed. Jisung: don't remind me. you're my boyfriend, support me. Changbin: fine! go, sungie!! i love you either way though.

It is exactly three days after the I-exposed-my-cock incident that Lee Minho agrees to go with you to buy the shower curtains. 

"Can't we just buy it online?" He had whined, arms folding against each other as he scrolled through his phone. You stand by the sofa, head shaking in disappointment as you reason back, frustrated, "The material," and you hit his arm. Minho winces. "The material is important. I won't compromise on that. Plus, you promised that you would come with me to buy something that you tore. Isn't that only fair?"

Minho does so. After bargaining with him for one tub full of mint chocolate ice cream that you will never understand why he loves so much. 

That is exactly how you find yourself here in this shop, shopping cart in your hand and Minho by your side.

"We are only buying the shower curtain," you tell him, staring at the half full shopping cart. "So I don't understand why we need all these."

Minho smiles sheepishly at you. He then points at the two tubs of ice cream and says, "One for you, and one for me. I even chose your favorite flavor!" He continues to point at each article and tell why he needs them very articulately and you stand there in surprise before breaking his speech.

"Fine, fine!" You push the cart ahead. "Now let's just go and get what we came here for." Minho follows you, his one hand on the shopping cart handle to keep pace with you. The two of you stop right in front of the array of curtains in different colours, some on display and some packaged and you smile, whispering under your breath, "Tada." Minho looks at you softly, at the small voice of joy that escapes your lips and he just watches you light up in fascination at something as simple as shower curtains.

Fuck, he loves your domesticity.

"Let's take this," Minho announces as he stretches his arms out to hold onto a pretty blue shower curtain. You hold it in between your fingers feeling the texture before announcing, "No."

"But why?" Minho whines, following your footsteps as you hold onto another shower curtain. 

"Because it's polythene," you frown at your best friend. Minho looks at you, confused, his eyebrows furrowing as they look at you like you have grown another pair of hands and legs.

"And so?"

"You could tear it again!"

"It happened once," he sighs, frustrated. "Once. It's not like I'm waiting to fall in the shower, tear the curtain and have you see my dick all the time, babe."

Your cheeks flush at his announcement and the tag he calls you by, your eyes looking away from his pretty face for a split second. Minho shakes his hand, taking a step forward to check a few other shower curtains out when the two of you hear a very familiar voice from behind, in the most professional manner ever.

"Sir, the one you chose is perfect. It is very durable and doesn't stain on contact with water—"

"Han Jisung?" Minho turns, the words of shock leaving his mouth almost instantly. You turn impulsively, eyes wide.

"What the fuck are you guys doing here?"

"Hey," you narrow your eyes at the other male. "I could file a report for bad customer service about now, Sungie."

He folds his arms and looks at the two of you suspiciously, "What are you guys doing here?" He raises an eyebrow at you, scoffing at you, "Like you would."

"What does it look like we're doing here, Sungie?" You bite back jokingly and Jisung laughs, gaze shifting between the two of you.

"I don't know," he runs a hand through his hair before folding his arms again, his fluorescent yellow uniform crumbling with the shift in his arms. "Is this some sort of a new way to date?"

"We aren't—" You quickly start when Minho pulls a curtain forward and breaks your sentence before you can complete as he asks Jisung, "This isn't polythene, is it?"

"Are you stupid?" Jisung frowns before he laughs. "That's clearly polythene. Minho, dude, you're a chemical engineering student. You have got to be kidding me if you can't identify polythene."

Minho doesn't pay heed to Jisung's words. You, on the other hand, stare at your best friend who walks away from you to examine more shower curtains. Did Lee Minho really ask Jisung, a literature student, whether that was polythene — What in the world?

"Y/N? Earth to Y/N?" Jisung snaps your attention back to the present. "Are you going to buy shower curtains today?"

"Yeah?"

"But your shower curtains were fine the last time I came home." You understand Jisung's surprise because the last time he did come home was five days back and the shower curtain was in a perfect condition. "What happened?"

You stretch your arms and point at Minho. The very culprit rolls his eyes before raising his eyebrows and sighing, voicing in the most dramatic voice you have ever heard Minho take, "Yes, Y/N. Yes, Ji. It's me. I tore the shower curtain because I fell in the shower."

"Ouch," Jisung acknowledges Minho's injury before walking past the two of you and taking a shower curtain. "Here's one. You might like this, Y/N."

"It's not PVC, Sungie."

Jisung wants to hit your head, terribly. Perhaps it's your adamance that is the reason as to why your friendship is this tight and strong but in moments like these, he likes Minho more. Minho stands by the side, arms folded and back resting against the wall as he trusts your judgement.

"Are you not going to tell her anything?"

"She handles all this at home. Give her what she wants, Ji," he laughs, fiddling with a few more shower curtains by his side. Jisung shakes his head in disappointment before mumbling, a soft frustrated groan leaving his lips as he throws his head back, "Definitely a married couple," and takes a few polyvinyl chloride made shower curtains. 

"Here," he presses his lips. "Don't blame me if the designs aren't that great. You don't get that many good designs in PVC. People go for polythene because it's more available."

"PVC doesn't tear and it's easy to clean!"

"Seconding this as a chemical engineering student," Minho chirps in from behind. You and Jisung turn to look at the man who is on his phone currently and shake your head lightly. "What?"

"He remembers his major now!" Jisung clicks his tongue. "All say, praise the Lord."

"I'm agnostic." You frown.

"More reasons for you to say it easily!"

You find a plain one in the ones he showed you and you take it. Jisung smiles finally, mumbling, "You're a frustrating customer."

"Nah," you scoff. Minho pushes himself off the wall as soon as he sees you done with the selection. "I just know what I want exactly. You, on the other hand, sweetheart," you poke his chest and Jisung chuckles. "You're a pathetic salesperson."

"Of course," he laughs the insult away. "I'm a literature student. I should be working in a publishing company as a part timer."

Minho takes the shower curtain from your hand and puts it in the cart by the side. He comes back, throwing his arm over Jisung's shoulder and frowns, "Apparently publishing companies care a lot more about who your parents are than your resume."

"It's just that publishing company," the other male looks down. "I'll try applying for another one soon."

"Do you want to grab a drink at our place tonight?"

"Can I?"

"Sure," Minho agrees. He drops his arm from Jisung's shoulder and holds the cart handle back, pushing it forward slightly. You take big strides to stand by Minho's side, also holding the handle slightly. Jisung raises his eyebrows at the two of you and with a smile that you don't think twice about, Jisung laughs.

"I'm coming over tonight."

"Sure," you throw your thumbs up at him, stretching your arm. Minho smiles softly at you, his eyes lingering a little longer at your happy figure and he feels his heart beat a little quicker at your sight. Your hair strands framing your face so beautifully, eyes shining the minute you find the exact thing you've had in your mind and your lips curving upwards in joy. 

Lee Minho finds the calmness that spring brings him every year in him all over again with you by his side.

"Bring the soju. Beer is on us!"

Jisung: binnie, binnie!! Changbin: yes, baby? Jisung: i think i have a plan. Changbin: let them be, babe. Jisung: we let them be all these years! they pinned after each other without even knowing and we had to see that painfully! Changbin: i guess you make a valid point there Jisung: is it going to rain today? Changbin: it's been raining for the last few days, sungie. it could. just because i study geography as my minor doesn't mean i can forecast weather. hey! Jisung: fine~ i'm going to get them to confess tonight 👀 Changbin: don't mess up. istg Jisung: trust me 🥺 Changbin: i do. more than ever ❤️

Jisung reaches your doorstep at sharp nine. With two bottles of soju in his hands, you see the stains of the droplets of rain falling onto his shoulder. 

It is drizzling for now and you worry if it is to rain heavily in a few minutes as the forecast mentioned. You hate the thunder. You hate how the weather changes drastically and worsens to a point that it frightens you and makes you anxious. It's a phobia you have managed to hide from everyone for fears of being treated weaker.

Jisung makes himself at home. He always has. He places the soju bottles on the kitchen countertop and Minho smiles to himself as he walks towards the point where Jisung has happily seated himself. Minho and you are on the other end of the counter while Jisung sits on the adjustable chair, swirling in it before stopping and facing you, Minho and the bottles of soju before him.

"Did it finally hit him?"

"I think?" You whisper back.

"I'm right here!" Jisung yells and you smile. Minho pulls the chair from under the counter and sits himself opposite the other male, pressing his lips together and trying to not laugh. He opens the bottle of soju after shaking it and hitting it against his elbow for a while. It clinks open, the metal hitting the glass before falling onto the table and you watch the two, as Minho pours a drink for Jisung.

He downs it in one go, letting out a loud sigh before stretching his arms and demanding a second one.

"Go easy, Sungie. You have the whole night."

"I don't," he huffs. "Now, please."

Minho pours it again before looking at you and you shake your head to indicate that you wouldn't mind a few. You grab hold of one of the empty cups on the counter before stretching your arm too. Minho laughs – a soft chuckle, so airy and light that you find yourself holding your breath for a small second there – and he pours you your drink. 

You twirl your drink, watching the liquid glide against the surface of the cup. Your best friend gets up and walks a little into the kitchen to open the fridge and grab a box of leftovers of fried chicken that you bought a few days ago. He pulls open the microwave to heat it and as he waits, he turns to look back at Jisung and asks him finally.

"Do you want me to drop a word to my uncle?"

"About?"

"He heads the Cheongsam Publication," Minho reveelas, pulling out the chicken from the microwave. He places it before the two of you and almost like you and Jisung were zoomed in, in an American sitcom, both of you gasp dramatically.

"Am I really your best friend?" Jisung yells and you narrow your eyes at Minho. Faking tears in his eyes, he persists in questioning,  "Do I not matter to you, Minho?"

"Why are you rooming with me when you could possibly afford a whole room on your own?"

"Yes, Jisung," Minho sighs and sits back on his chair. You bend forward, arms folded against the table as you stare at your best friend in betrayal. "Also, Y/N, don't you love having me around?"

He laughs and rests his head on your shoulder suddenly, causing you to stiffen them in response. Your eyes drift to the left, trying to not make it overtly obvious that Minho's sudden reaction has taken you by surprise. Your eyes land forward on Jisung who looks at you as if he knew this all along, as if he wanted exactly this. The man has a goddamn smirk plastered on his face.

Jisung downs two more shots and you look at him with a raised eyebrow, mumbling, "Slow the fuck down. No one's chasing you."

"Yeah, my goddamn plan," he mumbles before coughing and taking another. Minho sits up straight, finally lifting his head from your shoulder. He stretches his arm to pat Jisung's shoulder in comfort.

"I'll drop a word."

"Now, don't you dare go and say that you want to earn it and all that bullshit," you sigh. "It's the fucking Republic Of Korea. Nepotism is the norm."

"Not planning on saying that," Jisung glares at you. Clearly, Jisung is slightly tipsy, having been the only person to keep drinking. You and Minho opt to just watch over Jisung for the night. Your best friend puckers his lips in Minho's direction and blowing kisses, he says, "I love you, Minho."

"Changbin wouldn't like you saying that to another man though," you scoff and Jisung flips you the middle finger before downing one more and standing up. The thunder rattles the three of you exactly then and you grip the table, face turning pale instantly. Minho's attention darts to you quickly in concern.

"You okay?" You hum in response, unconvincingly though to Minho whose gaze lingers on you in worry for just a while more. That is, till Jisung rips it away by dramatically placing the back of his hand on his forehead and playing the damsel in distress as he gasps so loudly, staring at the big window.

"It's raining heavily," he sighs and you shudder, afraid of another thunderstorm as you grip tightly on the side of the table.

"So?" Minho asks, both eyebrows raised at the man before him, looking at the two of you with doe eyes.

"I'm staying over, thanks," he rushes and runs to your bedroom, quickly shutting the door and latching it and you and Minho stare at each other. As soon as the realisation of what could happen dawns over you, you rush to your closed bedroom, fists banging against the wooden door.

"Yah, Han Jisung," you turn to look at Minho who watches you in amusement. "Open the fucking door."

"No. I don't want to go back home in the rain. You and Minho can share the bed. I am never opening the door. Good night."

"What the fuck? Yah, Sungie, stop acting like a child. Open the door now." You hear no response. "Sungie? Answer me. Open the door please." Minho walks over to you, and tries knocking too, in vain however because Jisung has no plans to open the door.

You look at Minho, the man slightly towering you as he stands by your side and you gasp. You had to share the bed with the same man you just realised you could, perhaps, have developed feelings for?

"Fuck."

Jisung: it finally seems to be working, binnie! luck's on my side this time. Changbin: oh baby. just please don't be disappointed if it doesn't work out this time either. Jisung: i won't be because it's definitely going to work out. eeeee! i'm so excited! 

Another thunderstorm ripples through the air.

Your heart beats quicker in anxiety, eyes squeezing shut as you grip tightly on the pillow, a light whimper leaving your lips. You feel the mattress shuffling underneath you and in the next minute, your ears are covered by Minho's hands. You stiffen as he edges closer to you, his chin resting on your shoulder as his palm pressed against your pinna, covering your ear completely to protect you from the loud sounds of the thunder.

"Minho, what—"

His hand on your right ear slightly shifts to the side as he bends forward to whisper into your ear, to amplify the sounds enough as a way to distract you.

"You never ever told me you were scared of thunderstorms."

Lee Minho is way too close to you to think straight. You feel his body pressed against your back, heat radiating from him to you through your oversized hoodie. His breath is harsh against your skin as he leans close to whisper into your ear. And all this in an attempt to forget the thunderstorm.

So far, it's working like magic. 

Your voice is almost small when you inform him, "We never happened to be in the same place during one," and Minho swears to God, he could lose it completely. All the self control to not confess and take you there is so ready to be shoved out of the window that all he can do is try and focus on worrying about your fears.

"I'll protect you," he mumbles so softly that you turn around to look at him. His eyes are bright in the soft lights in his room and as he lies by your side, so close that you can hear his heart that beats faster and his breath that is shallow, your lips part and you watch him.

You are fully justified for falling in love with this man. 

A man that tells you he'd protect you from your fears, god alone knows how, but the fact that they don't seem like empty words. A man that you know like the back of your hand and the same man that seems to have protected you all throughout your life, even if you have done the same. It was inevitable. Falling for Lee Minho is inevitable.

And that's why you kiss him. Because you're in love with him so badly that all you can zero in is him, him, him.

Your lips press against his, so softly for a split second. As if you are unsure. As if you know you could be ruining years of friendship over something the two of you could consider a mistake. 

You kiss him and suddenly it's the only thing that matters to you right now. Him, him, him. Your lips are slow and soft against him. It is almost as if you are reminding yourself that there has been nothing more morbidly right than this. To fall in love with your best friend. Minho's hand slowly lifts up to rest below your ear, his thumb caressing your cheek as your breath mingles only for a split second — one filled with hesitance and uncertainty — before you pull away, looking at your best friend.

It is just a second of a kiss and with Minho so stiff by your side, you panic, and ramble. "I'm sorry. I should have thought it could be unrequited. I like you and I should have asked—”

Minho crashes his lips on yours, so quickly that it takes your breath away and cuts your sentence in half, but you don't care. He pulls you towards him, hands cupping your face tightly and angling it to kiss you, encasing your lower lips in his as he moves against your pink ones. You let out a small gasp as you deepen the kiss, running your fingers down his spine, holding him as close as possible until there is no space left between the two of you. It is just you and him in this small room. Just you and him in focus. You can feel the beating of his heart against your chest. Loud, clear and unknown to you that it beats for you in this minute. That it has always been beating for you.

Minho presses his tongue to the seam of your lips and, the minute you let him in, he delves inside your mouth, tongue chasing after yours. Minho kisses you like he has finally achieved the greatest thing ever and he never wants to let it go. Minho kisses like he loves you and you feel it. You feel every ounce of it.

Your arms move up his back and tangle around his thick, strong neck. Playing with the ends of his roots, you suck on his lower lips before he pulls away and finally tells you, "I've always been in love with you, Y/N. Always."

Kissing you again, his thumb digs into the skin by your jaw as he delves deeper, as if he never wants to let you go. The air in the room heats up when your hand moves under his shirt, feeling his muscles under your skin and you moan against his lips. Minho lets go of your lips only to kiss the side of it and then your cheeks and then your jugular before he is littering kisses all over your neck. You moan explicitly, gripping on him and slightly grinding on his thigh. You feel your core heating up, arousal sticking to your panties and all you can think is,

“I want you.”

Minho swears to God that he has always loved confident women but when you shattered right before him and built your confidence right back up — that is the hottest thing he swears he has seen. That, and the fact that you had always been hot before his eyes.

“Really?” Minho lifts himself up and hovers on top of you.

“Really,” you decide to respond before you cup his face and pull his face closer to yours. You don't pull him in for a kiss just yet. Your eyes zero on him, trying to cancel out the loud thunderstorms in the background and just focus on the man before you that you love, that you've been in love unknowingly for a while. 

You just hold his face and learn. You try to remember every single detail of his face that you never focussed on before.

You realise over again that his eyes are your favourite thing. They are black as charcoal and yet still shimmer as if stars are trapped and enclosed beneath them. And when he narrows them to look at you with a daze, your heart throbs and you gulp. They make your heart hurt whenever they fix on you.

You know his skin is soft as you touch. As creamy and velvety as they are, you can't stop touching him. 

His mouth is a pretty shade of coral, plump and pouty and honestly so kissable it hurts to look at it for more than a few seconds. You wonder how you haven't driven yourself to kiss him yet. All these years.

Everything about his face is soft and delicate, that is till he turns a little to the side and angles it perfectly, his head backward and you can clearly see the sharpness of his jawline; the distinct manly cut that makes your mouth dry and your heart beat faster. 

“You are perfect,” you gulp, your eyes back on him and Minho smiles widely. His warm breath caresses your face and his forehead is pressed against yours immediately.

“You know what else is perfect, baby?”

“No,” your voice is airy, even though you already know what he is going to say. You know it and yet the thought causes your heart to skip a bit, and flutter a lot in your chest.

“You and everything you have to offer. You are not average. You are one of the most perfect women I've seen in my whole life, Y/N,” he says. As soon as the words spill from his mouth, your lips are on his, claiming his mouth, the same ones that whispered into your ear that there is nothing to be afraid when he's right there by your side.

He gasps loudly as your hands leave his face and move to his hair to pull him down towards you — you need him so close to you. Your fingers get lost in his thick locks as you tug on them, forcing him to bend a lot forward and gladly welcome the intrusion of your tongue.

His lips are as soft as feathers and they feel like what you think heaven feels like. The warmth you experience is so much more than the tingle of first kisses and those innocent butterflies have nothing on the wanting void of a pit in your nether regions and the slick in between your thighs. 

His hands slide down from your hips to reach behind your back and pull you upwards, only to tightly clasp around the curve of your bottom cheeks.

“Minho,” you groan against his lips after he pulls away from you. His lips are red and swollen, slick and shining with your saliva and so incredibly inviting you all over again and you fear that you may never want to stop kissing him for as long as you are breathing. You fear getting too addicted to this human – more than you already are – to a point where you need to be attached to him by the hip, to never let go of him.

Minho's lips move from your swollen lips to the curve of your jaw, down to the curved edges of your neck, sucking and kissing every exposed skin. 

His hand moves from your clothed arse to under your hoodie, hand pressed against your back as he pulls you closer and forwards, until your chests are pressed against one another. His mouth is everywhere and god, you feel infinite and powerful.

His lips hover on yours. He smiles widely and you think it's cute. He inches his chin forward, flicking your nose a little with his own, a shy smile on his lips as he silently asks the permission to claim your lips anew; all over again.

You nod your head to signal yes. You hold your breath and your eyes flutter shut, awaiting him and his warmth.

Minho's kiss is slow and delicate at first. It is drawn out in a way that makes you want more, so much more, that you want to pull him in and suck the life out of him and yet, at the same time, it is precious and laced with not only the passion of the moment but also the tenderness of a first time together.

It makes your insides twitch and your heart lunge and it fogs up all of your thoughts to the point you feel yourself drowning in the sensation of his lips, pressed tightly on your own. 

Your heart is beating quicker than ever in your chest, against your ribs, and you pull him even closer, so tight your chests have no choice but to heave against each other with every single breath you take. You don’t want to let him go, not now, not tomorrow, not ever.

Minho is something you desperately want to hold onto in your life. He knows your secrets, your everything. He knows what you like and how you like it. He seems to know everything and the thought of letting him go aches your heart and constraints your throat with a sob you wouldn't dare to let out. You want him to be completely yours.

And these thoughts turn you desperate. They force you to make the kiss deeper, to lick his lips and bite them down, to gulp down every sigh and whimper that comes out of him and make them your own. To make him yours.

Your eyes flutter shut, taking in the way his mouth moves over yours, arching further into him. You groan into his mouth and his grip on your back tightens instantly.

“I want you so much, Minho,” you whimper against him after your lips part from his. You lick your lips and gaze at him with your partially closed eyes. “So fucking much.”

“Then, have me. Take me,” Minho purrs against your exposed skin. In a minute, he pulls the oversized hoodie over you, leaving you in just your undergarments as he discards it to the side. His mouth moves over the skin above your breasts and his hand traces the bra you are wearing. He gazes at it and mumbles before latching his mouth back on your skin, “You are so fucking beautiful. Always have been.”

You gleam in pride and your body arches at the contact of his mouth on your skin. Your hands are on the side of his face as you pull him away.

“Can I?”

“Have me? Yes. Completely,” he smiles. He wonders if you are confident. That's all that he hopes when you look at him so unsure and so doubtingly. 

You wet your lips again quickly, your breath coming out in hot puffs of air. Your hands immediately rush to his top, roughly pushing it above. Minho helps you out and pulls it completely away. You are blinded by the passion burning inside of you, your hands eager to explore and touch every expanse of his glowing skin. You want to touch, feel, have a complete experience. You want Minho to remind you of everything you are missing out on.

Your lips attack his neck in a hurry, all rough and passionate on his tender, soft skin, blooming red roses that turn purple against it. You repeat your actions till he’s softly moaning out your name, almost purring them out that you feel yourself becoming slicker. His hands on your back pull you closer and into him so that you won’t stop tainting his flesh and slowly, his soul, in the best ways possible.

Minho whines and sighs and grunts for you. He doesn't hold himself back as his lips leave appreciation for who you are. He closes his eyes as he parts his lips to whimper out your name with every new thing you find that excites him and it drives you absolutely insane. 

You know you should not but you can’t stop wondering how he would sound like as you fuck him hard, rock on his cock to milk his orgasm, make him beg not to stop. You desperately want to break him and draw all these nice sounds out of him, but you know it would most probably be the other way round. Minho allows you to take control occasionally but you know he wants the lead. He wants to be the one to break you apart and pull you back together. 

He pulls back from you, his hands leaving your back and resting on either of your sides. Minho's dark hair brushes over his crescent lidded eyes and nearly shields the hungry, desperate gaze of them. His hand plays with the strap of your panties as his gaze flickers between affection and lust. He cocks his head to the side before asking, “You do want this, right?”

You nod, hoping it would be enough and that he would resume.

“I need to hear you say it out loud, baby,” he firmly says and you gulp.

“Yes, yes. Minho, fuck, I want this. I need this,” you whine, your eyes glassy, as you grip his forearm to lift yourself up and grate and move against the evident bulge on his jeans. 

Minho merely needs that verbal confirmation. He pulls away your panties, resting on your hips and you groan. Still hovering above you and his hands over your pubic mound, his fingers trail lower and you tug at your lower lip in anticipation. Easily, he finds your clit, and begins to rub in slow, languid, lazy motion, up and down, waiting for the moan he so loves to hear from you to spill from your mouth. He grins when he hears those little whimpers and you feel your legs lose mobility from the pleasure he brings you with just a flick of his finger. 

Your back slightly arches off the soft mattress upon the bed when his finger leaves your clit to draw a line up your wet slit, collecting as much of your arousal as he can before slipping his glistening fingers out to admire them in the light. Your cheeks taint pink in embarrassment.

“Fuck,” Minho moans, taking his coated finger into his mouth to suck your juices from it. His eyes flutter shut as if he’s tasting the sweetest aphrodisiac ever known and your lips part at this sight. Lee Minho looks irresistible and you want him, completely.

“God,” he groans. Minho slides himself down your body until he’s in level with your pussy. His eyes gazed at it in sheer adoration and your hand slapped against your mouth. He takes two fingers to spread your lips apart for a better view. “You’re dripping, baby girl.”

You wail as he drags a finger up and down your slit, playfully teasing your fold, making you whine his name out loud. The way you plead for him, beg for him, grind down on his teasing fingers, all set a fire inside you. This has been what you had been craving for so long. The ability of this man to cloud your thoughts and set your body on fire makes you yearn for him even more.

“Minho,” you cry out, whimpering underneath him. “Fingers. I need you. Please, Minho.”

You gasp, your voice airy, when the tip of his finger tentatively slips into you while your fingers dig at his shoulders between your thighs. “Minho, I want you. I just really want you. I need to feel you. Please.”

He drags his finger out of you before you clutch onto him, feeling the need to be overwhelmed. He presses his thumb on your clit and a whimper leaves your mouth. 

“Minho.” And he slides his digit in again almost as if on cue. He pumps his finger in and out of you as his thumb harshly rubs circles on your clit. Your hand leaves your mouth and grabs your hair as the other digs further into his shoulder. 

His mouth leaves hot air against the skin covering your acetabulum and you shudder. His lips graze from there till your thigh before biting on them, sucking them deliriously and leaving you as a whimpering mess.

“Minho, fuck!” You scream, your fingers grabbing your hair to hold control of your body. 

“That's it, baby,” he says against the skin of your thighs. “How I've wanted those beautiful lips to scream out my name from when I've felt them.”

Minho adds another finger and your eyes are screwed shut as he curls them within you and you gasp at the feeling of being widened. You are elated and you feel your arousal leaking down your thighs. He rubs your inside and your clitoris faster and you push your hips towards him, moving with his pace. Minho is also leaving beautiful purple marks in a trail on your thigh and you gape in awe.

You find it all too much. Your emotions are all over the place and your hormones rise up. The movement of his fingers inside you and around your clit, his lips attacking your erogenous spots, kissing, biting and licking short stripes on them. It finally gets to you and you scream his name out in pleasure. Your first orgasm comes crashing down upon you, blinding you. You release all over his fingers and Minho helps you ride out your high as he drags his finger repeatedly but this time, slower than what had been. 

Your head lifts up and hits the pillow slightly as it tilts away. Minho moves upwards, hovering over your face and smiles. You smile back. You are so happy and you do not know how to put it into words.

“Minho?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks?”

“For what?” He looks at you quizzically. 

“That was my first orgasm in months now that wasn't brought about by my own fingers,” you smile wearily and Minho leans forwards and kisses your forehead.

"Should have come to me," he laughs.

"Didn't know if I'd be ruining our friendship."

"Pfft," he scoffs, before kissing you again, his lips gliding against yours and piecing in as if they were always meant to be against yours. "I've been in love with you forever."

"Took me a while to know my own feelings," you mumbles. “Also,” you continue, hoping he listens to your request. “Can I . . . ride you?”

Minho is stunned. There are so many things about you that stuns him and maybe it's the way you try to take control that make you look so much hotter before his eyes. 

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” you plead. “If that is not a bother to you.”

“Why would it? Your wish is my command, but only for this night. Next time, my love, we do this my way,” he teases and winks and your core throbs at his words.

Minho pulls himself away from your body, pulling his shirt over his head and his denim down and away. As he flings his clothes aside and relaxes against the mattress, his cock springs free against his stomach, leaking with milky precum. You sit up beside the space Minho has taken over and watch him and his cock deliriously and lustfully.

You sit up, crawling over to straddle his lap, nervousness setting into your stomach. You’re really doing this. You gulp and swallow the saliva as you look at Minho, whose gaze gives you comfort and confidence. The muscles in your arm stiffens as you grip his shoulder for stability and Minho notices.

“It’s okay,” he reassures you, sensing your reluctance and worry. He pushes back the stray hair falling over your eyes. “You're doing wonderful, babygirl. You are finally all mine. What a pretty girl and all to myself now."

You nod, biting down on your lower lip, and tugging at it harshly, cheeks heating up at his words, arousal gushing out as you look down before aligning with his cock. You want this. You needed this release.

As your folds, dripping with thick, sticky arousal, brush the tip of his hardened cock, you feel a shudder run down your spine. You instinctively allow yourself to lower further, taking the rest of him in you swiftly with the help of your arousal. Sinking down around his dick and feeling him fully wrapped around your clutching walls has you moaning out his name, gasping and panting for air, “Fuck, Minho.”

You rock your hips into him, trying this as you picture it to be, already finding yourself tightening and clenching around his thick length. He fills you up so nicely, stuffing you perfectly full and you salivate. Your lips parts and you find your hips moving on their own accord.

As much as Minho wants to give you complete power over this, it isn't like him and he wishes he could be better. Minho takes your hips in his hands, taking control of your movements to raise you up, leaving you empty and whining. You clench around nothing but air and your own walls, desperate to sink back down. “Minho,” you whine, your lower lip puckers forwards and you feel sad.

As his hand grip around your hips to get a better hold, he slams you back down on his cock, hard, causing you to scream. “Minho, ah!”

He continuously guides you in a rhythmic movement, throwing his head back into his pillows and groaning. You are glad he is helping you out because you know you could not have done it on your own after having just ridden out your high.

The sheen of sweat glistening on his chest catches your eye as he pants. The way his eyes clenched shut and his mouth hangs open with pleasure only makes you move faster around his cock. The sight before you makes you want to see him fucked out further. You want him to crumble under you because of you. 

You ride him, bouncing on his dick and clenching when you feel yourself reaching your climax for the second time that night. Minho’s finger moves down and slips between your sweat soaked bodies to rub your clit, pushing you even further over the edge. Minho knows how to make a woman putty in his hands and you are a living witness of this.

“Are you going to come?” He asks, breathlessly, his voice airy and light, almost floating away. He pulls his head forward to kiss your collarbones, sucking harsh bruises against your skin, continuing further down the existing purple bruises.

“Y-Yes,” you sigh, lacing your fingers through his hair and tugging on the dark strands. “Mhm, fuck, you feel so good, Minho.” You lean forward and the motion causes Minho to whine. You quickly catch it as your lips fall on his. His lips enclose yours and he kisses you slowly and passionately as you move on his cock, lazily.

Words, unfiltered and raw, spill out from your mouth after your lips leave his as you feel the high that is creeping up slowly within you. “Minho, fuck. Oh fuck, you feel so good.”

“Then, come.”

Minho moans against your neck as he feels you, his finger rubbing your clit, “Babygirl, oh fuck. Come all over my cock.”

Minho’s other hand that is not occupied leaves your hip and moves upwards to find their place on your neck. His fingers gently wrap themselves around your neck and his eyes flicker a mischief that makes you wetter than you already are. He presses his fingers against your neck with pressure and you choke. Your mouth opens wide and your tongue falls out slightly resting on your lower lip. Your eyes roll back and your walls clench around Minho’s cock tightly.

Minho learns that your dirty liking for choking is incredibly hot. Seeing you like this is what he knows would get him to come when you are not around. Your fucked out expression as you gasp for air makes Minho plunge into you harder and you choke harder.

A final flick of his finger over your sensitive button and a bit more pressure over your neck are all it takes for your body to flood with pleasure and ecstasy. Your legs tighten around Minho's waist, curling in as you ride out your high for as long as possible, still moving your hips against him. His fingers let go of your neck and you breath loudly, taking in huge gulps of air.

Not long after your undoing, he comes inside you, coating your walls with his seed as you feel his length pulsate within you.

Once your body falls limp against his chest, equally fucked out and panting for air, you feel him going soft inside you. He lifts you up, slowly slipping out of you and gently laying you by his side. His fingers rub small circles on your hips after pulling you closer into him. 

“Hey,” you say and smile. 

Minho kisses your forehead and then, the peak of your nose, and finally, kisses your lips, softly. It isn't lustful or anything. Just plain passion seeping from him to you. You feel his admiration and an emotion you fear to mistake for love. He pulls away and smiles, “Hey, beautiful.”

He comes closer and licks the side of your neck, where he had wrapped his fingers out. The one fantasy that you are so in love with. He peppers soft kisses around it and mumbles an apology. 

“No,” you quickly stop him. “That was everything. I— I really like you." Pausing, the thought crashes your head, post your high and you mumble, "Fuck, I fell in love with my best friend." 

You nuzzle into his chest after he pulls back, your arms wrapping around his body as you calm yourself. Minho chuckles into your ear, "Yes, yes. You clearly did. What do we do now?"

"Take responsibility." You mumble as you slowly find yourself feeling sleepy. Your eyes are slowly drooping and your voice lowers in tone, words drifting away almost, “You better take responsibility for my feelings and take care of me.”

“It'd truly be my honour,” Minho mumbles, lifting you slowly to push his one arm beneath your neck. He uses the other hand to push your hair away from your face. Kissing your forehead, lips lingering for a while, he smiles to himself, laughing slightly as he asks you, "Was the schlong good?”

You laugh softly, snuggling into his chest, fist against it as you try to fall asleep, thunderstorms long forgotten. Kissing his chest, you giggle, "Best ever schlong I have ever had, baby. All mine to keep now."

Jisung: can you pick me up? Changbin: this late? Jisung: i just wanted them to confess. not fuck like bunnies. useless fact i learnt today: they are both loud in bed. Changbin: i'm laughing off the bed literally!!! also!!! Jisung: yeah? Changbin: and they were roommates! Jisung: god, they were roommates. 🙄❤️

[captnjacksparrow]

hey! first of all your blog is my favorite naruto blog and second of all i had a question (idk if you’ve answered this already if so i’m sorry). so my question is why did “the last” retcon so many things? i mean it’s obvious as hell they only did so naruhina would somewhat work lol but i can’t get over the fact they really made naruto be this oblivious to what love is/means. literally the entire point of the anime was to show that naruto is the one who understands not through hate but through love so how the heck couldn’t he know what love looks like??? and it irks my soul to see that SO many naruto fans think that way… they really believe that naruto not having parents is why he doesn’t know what love is but the anime/manga established so many times that naruto DOES IN FACT KNOW what love is????? he has iruka, he has sasuke, he met his parents and realized that their sacrifice was out of LOVE so how tf couldn’t he know what love means? i’m sorry but this makes me so damn upset because i used to be somewhat okay with naruhina but now they’re getting on my nerves and especially their obnoxious fans who think naruhina is all that and is the epitome of true love LMFAOO. like shut the hell up. if that’s love then i don’t fucking want it man. their ship is so damn rushed, forced and tries sooooo hard to be sns. it’s funny to me how so many sns elements were pushed onto the narrative of naruhina (like hinata apparently being the first one to accept naruto 🤣🤣). even if someone were to ship naruhina they WOULD HAVE TO ACKNOWLEDGE that their ship is the result of fucking fan service cause it literally makes no sense. it makes no sense narrative wise (naruto manga/anime) + not even within their shitty lame ass the last movie. suddenly naruto can be put in a genjutsu? um since when? god this ships makes me so mad cause it just sucks in sooo many ways and it’s also so damn overrated 😭💀i mean everyone can ship whatever they want but i just don’t get or see what’s so special about naruhina??? leaving aside the fact that they have soo little screen time they just are so awkward together and that’s mainly cause hinata is weird as hell. i also dont get why so many people wish to have a love like naruhina or a partner like hinata LMFAO. hinata doesn’t do SHIT. she’s just standing there, being passive, watching and not acting on that EVER. how and why would anyone want a partner like that? truly blows my mind. sorry for the rant but i just dislike naruhina lmao.

LOL.... What a funny ride to read this🤭

[[Sakura stans who hate Hinata.... Do not Interact.]]

What’s so special about naruh**a??? I also don’t get why so many people wish to have a love like naruh**a or a partner like hinata LMFAO. 

Majority of People like NH and wish to have a partner like Hinata because she offers Servitude and Sex which boosts their Male Ego, Narcissism and their Sexual Fantasy. That's why Dudebros love this ship. Guys love Hinata purely because of her prospects... My asshole friend is the proof of that and I’ll attach another shit by the end of this post...

Self-Centered Girls who thinks that their PURE  feelings (Whatever the fuck that is!) for a Man and some Crocodile tears (a Damsel in Distress) are all enough to get what they want rather than doing a real Ground Work finds NH to be serving their fantasy. 🤷🏻‍♀️. Because all you have to do is to Cry (fakely) and Think about that person constantly. Poof!! You got that ‘Trophy’.

A Sexist & A Dominant Man with A Damsel in Distress. [[50 shades of Grey, Twilight kind of shits]]

Unfortunately people who like this dynamics are in the Majority.

Sakura and Hinata fits all the above mentioned criteria and that's precisely why Sasuke and Naruto never liked them and was very indifferent towards them, apart from the fact that both the boys already love each other. 

Sasuke and Naruto, both likes/admires people who are Selfless and Strong.

Here, Naruto was very much impressed with Sakura’s skills when she removed the Poison from Kankuro. [[Oh!! Please refrain from calling this as Romantic just because he was blushing... He blushed for Gaara too]]. It’s for this exact reason, Naruto, in his Monologue, confessed that 

“Truth was, I just wanted to be like you... You were the person I admired a lot”

Naruto couldn't reach out Sasuke because he felt inferior to Sasuke in terms of Strength.

Sasuke was seen impressed with Sakura's skills when she destroyed Juubi Clones.

But, this idiot Sakura instead of keeping up the momentum, she becomes that stupid Docile, Crying, Damsel in Distress in front of Sasuke.... hoping that Sasuke would like her... But it’s totally opposite. He likes people who are Strong and has some strong conviction. Like Naruto, Karin, Juugo, Suigetsu. 

N and S don’t cater to Dudebros’ and Damsel in Distress’ fantasies. Neither does the Author and that’s why he relentlessly mocked these girls till the very end.

[[It’s not surprising that the Ships Kishi got it right in his Manga were consisting of Strong Women who has some strong persona.... Like DanTsunade, ShikaTema, YahiKonan, MinaKushi.....]]

The Last movie is the complete opposite of what Naruto & the Author wanted... It’s a movie about what those Dudebros and Damsel in Distress’ wanted... Since they are the majority... We feel like NH is being loved by many.

It’s like you said... A FANSERVICE.

I can’t get over the fact they really made Naruto be this oblivious to what love is/means.

Actually... The Love they mean here is ‘Romantic Love’. 

Romantic love generally involves a mix of emotional and sexual desire, as opposed to platonic love. 

(I picked this definition from Google).

So, Last movie was all about teaching Naruto how to make him emotionally invested in Hinata and also to make him to get under the bedsheets with her. 

Anyone with 1/2 a Braincell would know that ‘Any type of Love can’t be taught.... It was always felt’.... Even if a child is an Orphan, and if that Child was allowed to grow in a peaceful atmosphere... It will realize the love automatically as it grows. 

This is Naruto seeing A Father and A Son who was talking about their Home.

And this poor child was yearning for that kind of Love. How can Naruto yearn for a ‘Love’ unless he feels it????

It’s the same for Romantic Love as well....

This dude has been doing Sexy Jutsu from Chapter 1 & Harem no Jutsu from Chapter 2 and in Chapter 91 he was seen peeking into Women’s bath as a prank. Well, Since Naruto was just 12... It’s all fine... [[Still, Guys usually mature during this age.... Whatever...]]

“Do you really Love me?? I’ll prove it when Darkness falls.... Come to my place, and Once, Just one time I’ll do anything you want your Hormones are...”

LMAO....These are the contents of Jiraiya’s Smut Novel..... 

All Guys of his age (15, 16) would pay any money to read these kind of racy stuffs, you know.... But Naruto seems to be finding it ‘Boring as Hell’..... Not to mention that this fact was referenced twice in the Manga.

A Boy who wasn’t affected by Naked Ladies and Smut Novels but was feeling uncomfortable and nervous in front of Naked Yamato and Sai in the Onsen Bath. And he kept on deflecting his feelings for Sasuke by fakely asking for Dates with Sakura.... Plus he asked his Mom that, “How did you fell in love with Dad” which is an implication that he knows the difference between Parental Love & Romantic Love...

And you are telling me that he needs a movie to ‘Awaken his Romantic Desire’????

Naruto is not Sai, For Shit Sake!!! Just Give me a Break!!!

Naruto knows all kinds of Love and he just doesn’t feel anything for Hinata despite she having all the ‘prospects’, a typical DudeBro would want.... It doesn’t mean that Naruto was Oblivious about such things, though. Otherwise he wouldn't be deflecting the nature of his own feelings for Sasuke.

How and why would anyone want a partner like that?

Ughhh!!! My eyes!!!! Cringe!!!! A meme from Dudebros...

Isn’t it self-explanatory???. They wanted something, they found it in Hinata and that’s why they want a partner like her.

@carmenserenity123456  ..... You sent me an ask asking Why Kishimoto said ‘like that’ in that interview regarding Hinata's b**bs... I almost finished writing answer to that ask with a better explanation... But Look at this meme.... This is why Kishi mocked that person for liking Hinata out of all the Strong Characters he created. Doesn't an author know about his own readers about what they like/hate about his own character???

[[Even in his Manga, he never sexualized her.]]

And that’s why these following panels are my favourites....

Look at that innocent and angelic face of Hinata..... “A Meal prepared for you especially by a Loved one....”

LOL.... Hinata preparing a meal with Love for her beloved Naruto-Kun... But Naruto’s thoughts immediately went back to Sasuke. 

Inner Me: What happened to that shit Last Movie, Naruto???? Why are you not thinking about Hinata???

It seems not only you, anon.... The Author also dislikes NH... VERY STRONGLY.

[justsparklingwords]

The First “I Love You”

Pt. 1

Dean:

Dean was never one to say the words “I love you,” it just wasn’t in his vocabulary. But something about you was different. You weren't like the other girls he would pick up from the bars or like the other female hunters he would sometimes stumble upon. Something about you stuck out to him. You reminded him of Lisa in the way you were caring and kind, but also head strong and could kick ass if the situation required it. So seeing you take down a bunch of vampires in this abandoned warehouse, chopping off their heads one by one while he was sitting helpless in restraints, he knew in his frail, damaged heart that he really cared about you.

“Of course I needed to save your ass again.”

Dean couldn’t help but smirk at your pointed glare. He knew you didn’t actually mind saving him from trouble, he knew you liked to play the hero while he was the damsel in distress.

“Oh come on, you know that if I didn’t get into a little bit of trouble you’d be sitting in the bunker bored out of your mind.”

You tried to hide your smile, but couldn’t help the fact it creeped out a little. “Yeah, whatever you say, Dean.”

While you continued to fiddle with the restraints around his feet, Dean noticed something creeping quickly and silently towards you both…

Another vampire.

Before he could even register that he needed to yell a warning, you swiftly moved to your feet and in the blink of an eye offed the repulsive creature. Dean couldn’t believe what he just saw! He knew you were good, but he didn’t know you were that good. Then again, he did just watch you take out a group of vampires singlehandedly.

You finished taking off his restraints, “There. Now you’re free.” Wiping the blood off your weapon onto your already dirty, blood covered jeans, all Dean could do was stare at you in awe.

“I love you.”

It took you a second to register what Dean had just said to you. “What did you just say?”

He stood there with a shocked look on his face, almost as if he couldn’t believe what he just said either. “I-I said ‘I love blue.’ You know, like the color wow that color has always been a favorite of mine I mean how could you not love it, it’s the color of the sky and the ocean, totally my two favorite things that I didn’t just make up.” As he rambled he looked at anything but you. Even the dead bodies were a better sight than facing his fears of what was probably a look of entertainment and astonishment on your face, or worse, entertainment and disgust.

“As awkward as that lame cover up was, I love you too, Dean. Now help me get rid of these bodies before someone comes in here and calls the cops. We don’t need that kind of attention.”

A/N: wow it’s been a while since I’ve written for SPN. I hope you all enjoyed this, I thought I’d try something different compared to what I’ve recently posted. Feedback is welcomed ✨

A/N #2: Read Pt. 2 with Sam here! Read Pt. 3 with Cas here!

SPN Tags: @greys-all-over-stuff @mersuperwholocked-lowlife @skittles-or-pants @mannls @meangirlsx @emberlei

[babyflash]

Dick and Artemis being convinced linda (and Hartley) aren’t real is so funny. It’s okay Linda doesn’t think THEIR real either out of spite. Though I do love the idea of linda accidentally crashing in on a team hang out in central one day and just…adding herself to the party at hand with no shame.

Honestly, there could also be a really interesting dynamic there since in the comics Linda expressed some concern sometimes early in their relationship that sometimes she felt a little lame compared to Wally’s superhero friends which idk? I really liked that part not only because 1) Linda and Wally talked about shit like a normal couple 2) Linda was aloud to have concerns and fears 3) talks about some of the tribulations OF dating a hero that are kind of more mundane compared to life or death danger.

dick and artemis are like "yeah your FAKE FRIENDS you MADE UP you fucking DWEEB" and then linda and hart being like "oh you mean the fictional friends you use as an excuse not to hang out with us?" and wally is just like perpetually annoyed like THEY'RE REAL OH MY GOD WHY DOES NO ONE THINK I HAVE FRIENDS

1. yes so true!!! wallinda healthy couple arc. they talk and she's able to express her concerns and insecurities because honestly they're totally valid fears. if my bf was off galavanting with fucking super heroes i'd be insecure too!! but then he's able to reassure her and let her know that a) his hero friends are total losers and she's way cooler than them and b) remind her that "normal" isn't bad and that he loves her and all the things!

2. LINDA IS A REAL PERSON ALERT!!!! guys breaking news women are actual people with feelings and emotions!!!! i agree w u anon i feel like so often the WAGs of heroes are pushed to the side and seen as these totally and completely understanding doormats and it's like no! dating a superhero would be so fucking weird! you're both going to have issues with the way you handle it in the beginning because for wally, all this shit, the having to leave work and events, the danger, the time away from home dedicated to hero work is all normal! in my mind by the time they get together he's already well established as a hero/sidekick (i'm gonna say he's taken up the flash mantle by now so barry can focus on raising his kids) and so he's used to having to leave at a moment's notice. for linda, all the superhero stuff is new! yeah she knew wally was kid flash a while back but now that he's a leaguer and a superhero in his own right, everything's changing and on top of that they're together now! it's a partnership, and linda 100% deserves to have a say in that relationship. she's not just a damsel for wally to save and kiss and bam hero moment, she's his girl, his partner.

3. yeah!!!!! mundane shit that's not life threatening or life changing is so regular and yet it's never talked about. like people experience insecurity in relationships all the time, especially if you think your s/o's friendgroup or coworkers or w/e are cooler than you!

[shyestofhearts]

Ok but what if instead of crushing on superboy, Damian HATES superboy? Like😂

• Superboy always tries to say this looong heroic speech about justice and all that which is extreme cringe to him.

• Superboy also makes him look like a damsel in distress.

• Also what if Damian is secretly an assassin, but not a hero and so he can't save himself because it will be suspicious how a rich brat baby boy with supposedly soft baby skin and a cute baby face escaped a kidnapping where he was tied upside down towards a tub(?) of acid in a remote area xcjcjava. This would be extremely easy for Damian but it was incredibly frustrating for him to just wait for a long time to be 'saved' and he also has to act scared the whole time. And superboy is ALWAYS there to save him. Damian HATES that.

• After seeing that, people started shipping Damian with superboy beacuse it was starting to get obvious that Superdork has a thing for Dami. And Damian hates that even more, BECAUSE HE IS JON'S NOT SOME GIGGLY, STUTTERY, BRIGHT COLORED, FLYING, LASER BLASTING, LAME PUNS MAKING, LITTLE KID'S PEER PRESSURED LOVE INTEREST.

• Also he can't even hang out wt Jon because people think he's cheating on superboy and no matter how many times he tells the media that there not dating, no one listens xjkvkvkav (kind of like us@ canon)

I had so much more to say but this ask is already long as heck so :/

thoughts on my shitpost ramble into your poor inbox? :) (also, sorry for not sending you a cursed image yesterday I fell asleep early and forgot m'sorry😭)

PLEASE THIS IS SO FUNNY-

SUPERDORK-

Damian's just like "no one can compare to Jon!"

And Jon, literally Superboy, is just there like "haha..."

(Also don't worry about it as long as you got some sleep!)

[thankskenpenders]

And so that’s it... nearly 200 issues deep, we’re done with the contributions of original writer Michael Gallagher. I’ve been asked in the past about the possibility of writing an article going over Gallagher’s run, like what I did with Penders. And I might still do that. But for now, here’s a shorter postmortem summarizing my feelings on the work of the original writer for history’s longest-running video game comic

I think it’s easy to look back on Gallagher’s silly old stories with a lot of nostalgia, especially after seeing what the series would become in its Dark Age. I can’t blame anyone who feels this way. I feel that way sometimes, too. It was a simpler time, with short, self-contained stories and a ton of puns, and it was a lot more easily digestible than a lot of the teen melodrama and half-baked sci-fi that followed. But the thing is... that doesn’t mean that Gallagher’s writing was good

Gallagher was always an odd fit for Sonic. I can’t really blame the man for introducing lame concepts like Cal and Al that didn’t fit in with Sonic early on because it’s not like he had much to work with in the early days. The guy was expected to write a monthly comic series based on a couple 16-bit platformers with very little story and some snippets from a cartoon that wasn’t out yet. He also had no way of knowing that his work here would lay the foundation for the longest video game comic ever made. I don’t envy his job. Of course he’d do a goofball story where Sonic travels back to caveman times. It’s not like he had much else to do

But as the series progressed and the cartoons and games gave the comic writers more material to work with, Gallagher didn’t really play along. He gave us a few solid, fun stories like Mecha Madness, but for the most part he was off in his own world, trying to sell us on shoehorned characters like the Forty Fathom Freedom Fighters or the Downunda Freedom Fighters who existed almost exclusively to deliver new flavors of lame pun. One time he even worked with Jim Valentino to make a naval-gazing parody of classic Guardians of the Galaxy so they could make lame puns about a comic they used to write (that very few children in 2001 reading Archie Sonic would be familiar with)

People generally pinpoint Penders as the guy who became obsessed with his own pet characters over the main cast as time went on, but really, Gallagher was just as guilty. And honestly, sometimes Gallagher doing it bugged me more. At least Penders had some prominent characters people actually liked, like Elias, Lara-Su, and Julie-Su, as well as some semblance of an overarching plot to work with. Meanwhile Gallagher was over here trying desperately to get people to care about a group of characters he had created exclusively as a vehicle for trite Australia jokes

Gallagher did introduce a few characters who stuck around, but he doesn’t really deserve much of the credit for that. Most notable would probably be Fiona Fox, who would become a major recurring character under later writers... except Gallagher only really invented her robotic doppelganger that Robotnik tricked Tails into falling in love with that one time. He created Knuckles’ grandfather Athair, the one comic character to somehow make it into a cartoon, but Penders helped out with that lore and did more with the character, meaning most people just assume he’s another Penders echidna. He created Tails’ parents, but Karl and Ian were the ones who actually did stuff with them. And he created the Ancient Walkers, who were kind of neat at first but quickly devolved into a tired plot device, only to be killed off by Ian almost immediately to cut down on the deus ex machinas. If you look at the list of characters Gallagher created, it’s mostly just randos he created for the sake of puns

And that’s really what most of it comes down to. Lame puns. I’m totally down for Sonic stories that go for a silly tone. I love Sonic Boom as much as the next fan, and I’ve been having a blast with the extremely goofy Sonic X comics. I’m not a cartoon snob who won’t watch a show that doesn’t have action and drama and lore, I’m out here watching shows like Apple & Onion. But while Gallagher could write good jokes sometimes, he mostly relied on groanworthy newspaper strip-level puns. (I guess it’s fitting, considering he’s related to both the guy who created Heathcliff AND his successor who makes those comics about the Garbage Ape.) I love me a good pun from time to time, and a lot of Gallagher’s are funnier when shared out of context, but when a story is just wall to wall puns it becomes agonizing. Puns should be a spice, not a main ingredient. And when Gallagher got a chance to follow an ACTUAL newspaper comic strip format in the Off Panel, he fared even worse. It was so rare for the Off Panels he wrote to actually be any funny

He WAS genuinely funny at times, though. I’ll give him credit for that. I don’t want it to seem like I hated ALL of his stories. (He did impress me with at least one political joke that’s sadly still relevant today, and in hindsight there’s something really funny on a meta level about the dark and gritty return of Cal and Al.) I think his best work came when he was paired with better artists. Scott Shaw’s more energetic Sonics really helped sell the cartoony comedy in the original miniseries, and obviously Spaziante’s work on Mecha Madness made that story legendary. When he was stuck with the less exciting Manak or Mawhinney, though, not so much

Beyond the puns, there was also this undercurrent of nastiness, meanness, and general grossness in his stories that I don’t see as many fans pick up on. This was mainly evident in the many odd decisions he made with the female cast

We had his take on Sally, who was treated as little more than Sonic’s annoying, moody, bossy girlfriend who bickered with him, sat on a big throne, and occasionally got to be a damsel in distress. He added Bunnie to the cast early on, but it felt like he didn’t have many ideas for what to do with her except make her the butt of jokes about her being a southern belle, including literally making her say “the South shall rise again!” We had Barby Koala’s extremely creepy flirting with Tails, who was half her age. We had that tone deaf Off-Panel joke about turning the special dedicated to the female readers into a swimsuit special (which isn’t far off from what everyone else actually did). And we also had that baffling story where Dulcy killed her mother. I have NO idea what the fuck he thought he was going for with that one.

It wasn’t just the girls, though--Antoine was somehow even more of a punching bag in Gallagher’s early stories than he was on SatAM. At least in the cartoon Sonic was responding to Antoine’s’ massive ego when he poked fun at him. In the early comics, Sonic would constantly rag on Antoine at any opportunity he got. It was VERY distracting in the early issues, and it made his Sonic come off as way more of a jerk

Later writers would often talk about needing to fix certain characters. Penders, for all his countless insufferable faults, used his early stories to steer Sally towards the version of the character fans knew from SatAM. (He then ruined Sally in his own special way, but, you know.) Just about every writer who touched him spent years and years trying to fix Antoine and make readers stop hating him. The unspoken part here is that the original incarnations of these characters that everyone had to work so hard to fix... were Gallagher’s

Again, Gallagher didn’t have an easy job as the first writer on this series, and most of his stories were... fine. Nothing I’d recommend to non-fans, but they had their moments. They make for an amusing read for their sheer absurdity. But a lot of it ranged from not very good to outright bad. We’ll always cut him some slack for having so little to work off of when he started and for writing stories that were, in hindsight, better (or at least less grating) than a lot of the melodramatic schlock that came later. I’ll always have some nostalgia for those simpler times. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that Gallagher’s stuff was ever all that good

But I can’t hate the guy too much, because he gave me the greatest Sonic character of all time