#if debt is bad why is a mortgage ok?
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What is a mortgage?
A mortgage is a type of loan specifically used to purchase real estate, such as a home or a piece of land. It is a financial agreement between a borrower and a lender, where the borrower receives a certain amount of money from the lender to buy the property, and in return, the borrower agrees to repay the loan over a specified period, typically with interest. Here are the key elements of a…
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#home mortgage#how to get a mortgage#if debt is bad why is a mortgage ok?#mortgage#mortgage 101#mortgage broker#mortgage lender#mortgage loan#mortgage loan originator#mortgage rate#mortgage rates#mortgages#mortgages 101#mortgages explained#what does a mortgage broker do?#what is a mortgage#what is a mortgage bond#what is a mortgage broker#what is a mortgage origination fee?#what is a subprime mortgage#what is mortgage escrow
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Selling Your House Fast using the “Subject To” Method
By: The Massachusetts Home Buyers LLC
Why would anyone want to sell their home via subject to financing? Aren’t their major risks associated with such undertaken? What if the buyer flakes and defaults on the note? This situation alone would be enough to deter any homeowner from selling their home in such a way as relying on another stranger to pay their mortgage. Worst of all, your credit score would take a significant hit alongside many other financial hardships. On the contrary, everything could also, too, go as planned with the mortgage getting paid down and your credit score gradually increasing.
Today, most FSBO’s shy away from such creative deal structuring due to one major issue, LACK OF KNOWLEDGE!
That’s right! A recent poll taken by The Massachusetts Home Buyers LLC had determined this issue among a survey selection of 50 FSBO’s who were either currently selling or planning to sell their homes very soon. The survey showed us that out of the 50 FSBO’s, on a professional critique level, 42 within the sample of 50 would have benefited more from a subject to deal than a traditional one-time closing. Out of the 50 FSBO’s 48 had no idea what it was and why it is used.
Why would a homeowner sell their home via subject to their existing mortgage?
Let’s start with the real-life story of Peggy Labate of Massachusetts. Peggy had lost her job Do tour company going to economic trouble. She then began facing the possibility of her home going into foreclosure, Putting her in a particularly dire financial situation. Peggy owed a total of $74,000 on her note for her home. This put her at an astonishing $12,000 in the hole.
She had an investor interested in a property, however, He did not actually have the full $74,000 needed for the sake of purchasing the property. Instead, the two of them worked out a compromise that would work for everyone. The compromise consisted of the following: He would purchase the property in such a way that he was subject to the existing mortgage payments per month. If agreed upon, Peggy will no longer have the monthly payment mortgage burden because the investor will be taking over her payments. Peggy then was able to make the sale work and avoid a disastrous credit hit by foreclosure. She barely had any money for food for that week, nevermind a mortgage payment. She was also able to sell the home within 2-3 business days following the agreement. YES! It was that easy.
In other parts of the country subject to the existing mortgage now has become quite popular among for sale by owners. Especially in post Covid era, selling subject to deals have increasingly spread. Especially in areas where unemployment has increased drastically.
Furthermore, most people don’t have the time in today’s world to even market the property by themselves. Additionally, they are not adapt to marketing, interviewing potential buyers, and credit analysis as Massachusetts license representatives are trained for. But why pay commission when you can simply pass your mortgage bill over to a investor who will take over the payments as well as put some money on the sellers pocket.
Another example was Hank. Hank was upside down on his mortgage because he bought right before the 2008 crash. The homes value dropped significantly but was able to almost break even in 2021. Let's look at Hanks predicament below
Home cost 2005: $320,000.00
Mortgage note: $335,000.00
POST CRASH
Home cost 2009: $245,000.00
Mortgage note Current 2009: $315,500.00
Present 2021
Home cost 2021: $285,500
Current note Balance: $295,000
Since Hank lost his job due to the COVID-19 virus, he is now finding it hard to pay for every day expenses and his mortgage. Therefore he’s in a little predicament. A friend of his told him “to suck it up and pay up to $10,000 and be done with it already”, but Hank doesn't have the $10,000 to come out of pocket. Plus, Hank is thinking “who actually sells a home to lose money?”. The plot thickens as the days go by and his bills pile up he is now three months behind on his mortgage and his banks are calling leaving messages on his voicemail. His monthly mortgage PITI is at $1,250.00. Thus, on top of all the other bills, as well as the $10,000 he will need to pay out-of-pocket if he wanted to sell, he is now behind approximately three months and four days owing a whopping $4,200.00 (includes late payments). The home is getting close to breaking even, and he has pre-permitted lot space to extend the square footage of his home. He was told by an investor he could add another 1000 to 1500 sqft to his home. Although costs would range anywhere between $68,000 to $80,000, it would bring his home value from $285,000 to $390,000. Additionally, if he were to add another a bathroom and a half in this addition, the after renovations value would be anywhere between $415,000 to $425,000. Unfortunately, Hank did not have the funds, which would probably be anywhere between $110-$120,000 to do such work, even though the value add would be $200,000 to $215,000. What is Hank going to do.
Hank is definitely stressed out!
Hank is now slipping into foreclosure and is getting unrealistic to almost cruel advice. Until one day he found an ad in his local paper from The Massachusetts Home Buyers LLC.
Hank called The Massachusetts Home Buyers LLC and told him his predicament. Hank began his conversation by saying, “ Look, I know you can’t help me in my situation but maybe you can give me some advice?”, the investor from The Massachusetts Home Buyers LLC laughed and calmly said “ Well hello, my name is Gary, Whats yours?”. Hank forgetting his manners backed up his excitement and said with a sigh, “My apologies, Hank here”. The caller than asked Hank to fill him in on what’s going on. At the end of the conversation, the investor asked to visit the property and take a look at the permits that were once pulled by Hank that he never utilized back before the crash.
Although the permits had become null and void, the investor knew the area very well as well as the permitting process for building additions. The Massachusetts Home Buyers LLC are constantly scrutinizing and investigating the housing market and its bylaws. At the end of the walkthrough the investor suprised Hank with a deal that almost had him fall to the ground. The deal, according to Hank was pure genius.
The deal looked like this:
First, Hank will transfer title to the property over to the Massachusetts Home Buyers LLC.
Instead of paying out of pocket, the investor offered him $20,000 cash in pocket for the transfer of title.
The Mass Home Buyers LLC would bring an additional $6,000.00 for closing expenses incurred and pay up the missed payments of $4,500.00 to the bank.
The Massachusetts Home Buyers LLC would then own the home, however, Hank would need to leave his mortgage untouched and in place.
To lessen Hank’s anxiety, Hank and the investor called his lender on a three-way call to explain the transaction. Strangely, the lender knew the investor by the first name. Hank knew he was dealing with professionals. The investor kindly told the lender about Hanks's situation and that he offered him the title in exchange for paying off the back payments as well as take over his note as-is. The lender said, “ Ok, Gary, so you want to subject to the existing note and make payments on Mr. Hanks 30 year fixed?” The investor replied, “yes, Sir.” The lender asked, “ok, that's fine; when do you think it will transfer or be paid in full?” The investor said calmly, “I don’t know now; however, you will be the first to know when we do so.” The lender stated, “fair enough- ok, we are good, no static on this end.” Hank had heard about the dreaded due on sale clauses and was just relieved. Besides, the investor boldly asked the lender to keep the mortgage under Hank's name; however, cancel his insurance for a tenant-buyer who can be vetted additionally by the lender will be taking over. Hanks's problems were swiftly Disappearing. How does this subject to thing work anyhow?
Finally the closing date has come and looked like this.
Purchase: $25,000 transfer of deed w/ subject to $290,000 fixed 30 year mortgage payments.
Hank has money for first and last for a apartment and got his job back. Also, his credit was soaring because of all the additional payoffs by the tenant-buyer the Mass Home Buyers LLC had moved in.
Investors side
Current mortgage: $1,250 per month
The Mass Home Buyers Lease Option Payments by tenant buyer: $1,900.00 ( the areas rental median is $2,500) Cash Flow $650.00
The tenant-buyer was a carpenter who pulled a new permit and added over 1600 SF of home and an in-law and two full baths. The home soared from $290,000 to $480,000.00
After cash-out refinances, the tenant-buyer will be able to reflip, and the Massachusetts Home Buyers LLC will make over $235,000 within 1.5 years. Not bad for one deal.
Hank no longer is upside down and in debt. He also has money in the bank. The tenant-buyer has an affordable investment he will inevitably reflip. The Massachusetts Home Buyers LLC made a healthy profit for saving Hank's credit from annihilation while providing inventory to one of many tenant buyers. Talk about a win/win/win heh? Subject to deal structuring is highly beneficial for sellers who are in situations like Hank, but also if they need to sell in a hurry due to a strict timeline that cannot wait for a realtor to research, market, interview, negotiate, and inevitably, sell their home.
Subject to candidates usually have three main scenarios in common:
They are facing foreclosure and/or exceptionally behind on payments
They want to repair their credit score and what better than a real estate solutions company paying their tab under their name on a monthly basis for an extended amount of time. As the buyer pays on the mortgage, the previous owner of which the note is named under, is being paid consistently. Sometimes even double paid due to the buyers motivation to pay down the balance in preparation of either a resell or a cash out finance situation.
They need to move very quickly and do not have the time to A) remote manage a realtor on the property which can result in miscommunication and other issues B) Has a new job that begins relatively soon that is out-of-state. C) A or B, however, has a significant amount of mortgage left to pay. and D) Is negative on their note and does not want to come out of pocket to pay the difference. The Massachusetts Home Buyers LLC not only assists those in selling their upside-down notes but will also. Reward the seller for transferring the title. What would you rather do?
The moral of the story is, long as you’re dealing with professionals and people who know how to market with structure and don’t hide things from anybody, make deals such as a subject to or any other Creative Financial matter that much more beneficial for all. As of today, the Massachusetts homebuyers not only helps people in need like Hank but also work with retail homebuyers because they structure their deals in a way that gives both the seller what they need in regards to pricing at the same time, create a good investment for their company. REMEMBER THIS: THE SELLER OF A PROPERTY MUST ALWAYS HAVE A MORTGAGE OR ANY ALTERNATE LIEN AGAINST THE HOME TO CONDUCT A SUBJECT TO DEAL. IF THEY DON'T HAVE ANY PAYMENTS AGAINST THE HOME THAN IT WOULD BE KNOWN AS SELLER FINANCING.
#The Massachusetts Home Buyers LLC#subject to#take over mortgage#creative finance#Plymouth County FSBO’s#bristol#cheap old houses#massachusetts#worcester#flipping house#zillow homes#redfin#realtor.com#cash flow#foreclosure#moving out#rent to own#real estate#sell my house fast for cash
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Hearth Fires 2: Sneaky Like a Cat
Pairing: Remi Denier x OFC
Summary: Lorel Maddox just wants to live as a human, run her bakery in peace, and forget. Unfortunately, the alpha of the local leopard pack has very different ideas. Remi Denier doesn’t know what to make of the female Changeling who wants nothing to do with him or the RainFire pack. He does know that he has a driving need to protect her. Even if it’s from herself. While they’re embroiled in a battle of wills, there’s a war brewing on the horizon. The outside threat could not only destroy everything they hold dear, but tear apart the fragile new bonds of the Trinity Accord, plunging the world into bloodshed to rival the Territorial Wars of centuries past.
Word count: 2466
Hearth Fires Masterlist
Beta read by the invaluable pandabearer
Remi entered a familiar code into the comm screen and sprawled out on the large cushions scattered around the main floor of his aerie. Waiting for the call to connect, he cracked a longneck and took a swig. Stomach rumbling, he wished he’d at least gotten a cupcake before scaring the piss out of the little baker.
He knew she didn’t intend any harm to the pack. But sometimes what happened wasn’t what one intended, as he knew very well. Just like he hadn’t intended to throw out that ultimatum. He’d wanted to get a sense of her and make the offer. Then she’d turned him down and it was like his brain had switched off and his alpha hindbrain had taken over.
It wasn’t the first time he’d been turned down since he started building RainFire; it was, however, the first time a lone submissive female had said no. Generally, ones like her didn’t go roaming for as long as she had. The feeling that something was amiss with her hadn’t left him, like an itch that he just couldn’t scratch.
“I’m flattered I’m your drunk dial,” Lucas Hunter said dryly, “but I have a mate.”
“I’d’ve to be drinkin’ bad hooch to be drunk dialin’ your laide tchew,” he snorted. “And I’d hope it’d make me blind.”
Hunter snorted, then reached down out of view of the screen and picked up a little, black cub by the scruff of her neck. Naya purred loudly enough that Remi could hear it and butted her forehead against Lucas’ face, even though her body continued to dangle limply in his grasp.
“You know better than that,” her father frowned at her, unfazed by the cute affection, and tapped her nose. The responding mewl was adorable enough to pierce even the most jaded heart. “No, you can’t have a cookie, but you can say hi to Remi.” He pointed to the screen and set her on his lap. A fluffy black tail rose high and curled at the end in greeting.
“Quoi se fais du mal, possede?” His cat stopped its irritated pacing and chuffed in amusement at the pair of bright green eyes that now took up most of the screen as she leaned in to greet him.
“She’s been using my chair as a scratching post.” Remi coughed to cover a laugh at the other man’s deadpan expression that barely hid his amusement. At the recount of her misdeed, she flopped onto her back and put one paw over an eye as if to say “oops.” Hunter had answered in his office at DarkRiver HQ. If he’d been at home, which had cushions instead of traditional furniture much like Remi’s own, his daughter would have sharpened her claws on a tree instead. “Can you make it quick? I have a meeting in ten.”
Remi laid out the situation to Lucas, who listened without interruption.
“She says she didn’t know ‘bout the expansion.” He spread his hands wide.
“You posted to Packnet?” Hunter referred to the network utilized by Changelings all across the world. Even loners used it, primarily to keep track of claimed territory to avoid accidentally trespassing. A mistake meant death for a predatory Changeling.
“’Course I did,” Remi snapped in frustration. Lucas let that one slide. “Damnedest thing is she says she’s never heard of it!” He ran a hand through his shoulder-length hair. “I don’t know what to do.”
“Bullshit,” he snorted, then darted a glance at Naya, who’d climbed up to drape herself across his shoulders. “You just don’t like your options.”
“Could you run a submissive off your lands?” he snarled. Lucas gave a low warning growl to remind him that they were both alphas; his cub stopped kneading his shoulders and her ears swivelled forward, looking for the threat. Remi had to rein his cat in before they got into a pissing match; it had been on edge since he stepped into the bakery. The animal, too, was disturbed with the mystery that was Lorelei Cain Maddox.
“Buy her land, her mortgage, and any other debt out from under her if she doesn’t play ball. It doesn’t have to come to combat.” A ruthless solution from an alpha who was as accustomed to fighting in the boardroom as he was with teeth and claws. The merciless alpha stroked his daughter’s back, lulling her back to her sleepy state. He looked like a damn villain when he did that in that chair.
“Mais.” Blowing out a breath, he took another drink to give himself time to consider the suggestion. He shouldn’t have made the offer at all if she made his hackles rise, not until he figured out why. Now he had to deal with the fallout and any leverage would serve to protect the pack, even if he didn’t use it to force her hand. “Might have to. She looked like she’d rather chew an arm off than listen to me.”
“I can’t blame her if you were your usual charming self.” Remi flipped him the bird, but there was no heat in his accompanying glare. Lucas huffed in laughter. “You can’t help those who don’t want to be helped, you need to focus on your own. If she won’t play ball with you, she might with your enemies.”
“Ca me rapelle, there’s something else I wanted to talk to you about. I’m forwarding you something.” He set his bottle down and fired off the email as he spoke. “Several folks in town reported receiving this.”
“’Trinity’s Goal is Human Genocide’,” Lucas read the subject line with a snort. “’We won’t be replaced, trying to take power, subjugate the human race…’ Yeah, we had something like this awhile back, so did StoneWater. Do you know where it came from?”
“We got someone working to trace it. I was wonderin’ if your people have time to look at it, might be tied to the one you mentioned.” The older pack had resources that RainFire simply didn’t have yet and he wasn’t above asking for help to keep his pack safe.
“It might be the same group, but extremists tend to use the same catchphrases; it’s like they just swap out the nouns. I recommend keeping your sentinels on alert.” Remi nodded. He’d already briefed those that hadn’t brought the situation to his attention, but if this was a larger threat then they needed to know that, too.
“We’ve got some friends in the city, I’ll ask them to keep their ears to the ground.”
“This might be an individual, but if it’s a cell working to sway public opinion your friends will probably hear of it first. I’ll have my team see what they can find.” Lucas’ eyes narrowed, but that didn’t hide the teasing glint in his green eyes that looked so much like his cat’s. “You know, the mentorship was only meant to last the first year.” While that year had passed nearly nine months ago, the two of them had kept in regular contact.
“You don’t have to answer my calls,” he shrugged and tucked a hand behind his head. “I could always ring up Hawke. Say, you got his number?” Hunter scowled at the mention of the SnowDancer alpha.
“Are you so hard up you’d ask a wolf for help?”
“I’m asking my Trinity representative for help with somethin’ that might be a bigger problem, but if you’re too busy…”
“Naya, say ‘adieu’ to Oncle Couillon .” She waved her tail back and forth.
“Bye-bye, cher.” Remi blew the cub a kiss. “Donne la belle Sascha un bec pour moi.” Before hanging up, Lucas gave him one last scowl for telling him to kiss his mate for the other alpha.
He pulled out his organizer and began to plot. She might be stubborn, but he had an entire pack behind him and he wasn't afraid to use it.
At the sound of the front door opening, Lorel set down the cranberry coloured frosting she was piping onto rows of cupcakes. She wiped her hands off on a damp white washcloth that was already smeared pink and red with previous uses.
Stopping in the archway that led to the front, she stifled a groan. The customer who’d entered with her daughter was a changeling: a leopard, to be specific, and one of many who'd managed to wander into her shop over the past week. Even if she didn’t have a note in her scent that matched an element of Denier’s, she obviously had to be a member of RainFire. It seemed like she'd already met half the freaking pack, and, in the southern custom that she was rapidly coming to learn, a quick chat was at least half an hour long.
She could hardly refuse to serve the woman; not only was it illegal, but it would be hypocritical. Besides, changelings were extremely loyal and prolific customers at their favourite restaurants due to their higher caloric requirements. And not to mention it was probably unhealthy for her if she pissed off RainFire.
Somehow, she was sure the asshole was behind the parade of leopards in her bakery, even if she had no way of proving the suspicion. She had seen some underhanded tactics in her time, but this latest was the lowest of the low. Standing up straight, she braced herself.
A little girl in a lavender tutu dress toddled up to the display case like she’d found Nirvana. Her dark hair was tied up in loose buns that bobbled with every step of her purple, glitter rainboots. It was impossible not to smile at the sheer joy that lit up her face, which was marked with what looked like slashes from a set of claws, yet they lacked the pigmentation and texture of scars. They appeared to be birthmarks, albeit pale instead of dark.
“Cookie, pease?”
Seriously, those big, guileless eyes should be registered as lethal weapons.
“What kind would you like?” Lorel asked after glancing at the adult with her to make sure it was ok.
“Dat one!” A tiny finger pressed to the plas-glas pointed to a set of sugar cookies shaped and frosted to look like various types of leaves: green fading to brown, yellow to red, and whatever other combination had occurred to her at the time. Lorel picked one of her favourites: a maple leaf with yellow at its centre, surrounded by orange, and turning to red at the edges. For the veins, she’d drawn a knife through the frosting to create lines of colour that bled outward through the gradations.
“Make it a dozen, please, and a dozen each of the caramel apples, the maple pecan cupcakes, and, ooh, pumpkin cheesecake snickerdoodles,” the woman said, her eyes lighting up with the last order.
She nearly did a double-take. That was her entire stock of each of those items and over half of her seasonal items. Not that she was about to complain. She wrapped the maple leaf in a napkin and handed it to the girl, experience telling her that it wouldn’t last enough to warrant packaging.
“Thank you!” she chirped and rose on her tiptoes to take the leaf. The cookie was bigger than both of her hands. Settling back on her heels, she took a bite and exclaimed in delight, eyes going impossibly wide. Lorel struggled to breathe past the ache in her chest.
Avoiding eye contact with both of them, she quickly boxed up the goodies. The sooner she got them out of there, the sooner she could breathe easy again. It didn’t help that her cat was currently clawing at her with a fierce need to play with the cub. Kid , she mentally reprimanded herself.
“Is something wrong?” Lorel stared at the other woman for a heartbeat before she realized she’d been shaking her head while silently rebuking herself.
“Oh no.” She donned a smile like well-worn armour. “Just talking to myself. Thinking about how many to bake tomorrow, you know?”
The customer nodded and hummed in agreement, but something in her eyes said she wasn’t buying it.
“It must be hard to move to a town where you don’t know much of anyone and take over your aunt’s business.”
Lorel’s eyes narrowed. She didn’t trust sympathy from a cat, not even one with a child that appeared to be loved and treasured.
“Small towns, everybody knows everybody.” The other woman shrugged off the suspicion cast her way. “By the way, I’m Tien and this is JoJo.” JoJo was currently spinning in the sun streaming through the window and watching her skirt flare out. The glitter in her boots flashed brilliantly in the light. With each bite of her cookie, she hummed a happy little tune.
The pang in her chest was back.
“Lorel,” she flashed her customer service smile, the small one when she wasn’t really feeling like smiling. Luckily, she was ringing up the sale and therefore had an excuse to avoid anything more than briefly flicking her eyes at Tien. Then she gave the total and they went through the ritual of the transaction.
“Here’s my number.” Tien jotted down the code on a slip of paper she’d found in her purse. “Let me know if you ever want to talk or if you ever want to… I’d say go for coffee, but,” she broke off with a laugh and gestured at the espresso machine. “Do lunch or something.”
She couldn’t decline without being rude, and being rude in a small southern town would spell disaster for her business. And the other woman’s smile was so broad and genuine that she smiled back despite herself.
“Thank you.” Lorel took the scrap and slipped it into her apron; today it was yellow and edged at the bottom with lace. The lavender flowers on it matched the full-skirted dress she wore.
“Come on, kidlet.” Tien herded the girl towards the exit.
“Bye!” JoJo waved and skipped out the door, offering a bite of her cookie to her mom, who accepted with an “mmm!”
Lorel sank back against the counter and thrust her hands into her pockets, idly fingering the contact number. How could they be so happy and obviously well-adjusted in a pack with an autocratic asshole like Denier? Although, was there really any other kind of alpha? In her admittedly limited experience, the answer was no.
And yet neither of them had, had the hollow, guarded eyes that were the result of abuse from those in power. While the rest of the pack seemed friendly enough, no doubt the carrot to Denier’s stick, it wasn’t something she was used to.
She crumpled up the paper and tossed it in the recycler.
No matter how honest she appeared to be, Tien was still Denier’s pawn.
Notes: Remi isn’t canonically Cajun, it’s left ambiguous (“with a name like that sounds like he should be hunting gators in a swamp somewhere”). But I like the idea that he can play the dumb swamprat, or the suave southern gentleman, or a shark in the boardroom because he learned how to dominate whatever room he was in and that he had to learn to blend in (*foreshadowing of my personal HC’s).
I'm a bit of a language nerd. The evolution of Louisiana French is interesting because it basically takes Acadian French and drifts it, then splices in some Choctaw. And it appears to share some quirks and sentence structure with French Creoles. I'm not sure if that's due to sharing a "parent" language (I don't know enough to say) or due to cultural exchange in the region.
The Cajun French in this chapter comes from published dictionaries and articles written by native speakers, then cross-referenced (or simply plugged into google to see if similar results pop up). Then if I need to conjugate something or figure out grammar, I'll run it by my spouse who speaks Quebecois (which evolved from Acadian, too), but isn’t French Canadian. So if it’s atrocious, my apologies and please let me know.
Laide tchew - ugly ass
Quoi se fais du mal - what trouble have you been getting into?
Possede - literally possessed one, a term for a mischievous child
Mais - Literally French for “but.” According to kenwheatonwrites.com it “means “well then,” and is used to delight, shock, exasperation — any number of things. It’s almost like “dude” or “fuck” in its ability to morph into anything depending on situation, tone, delivery and other factors.”
Ca me rapelle - That reminds me
Oncle - uncle
Couillon - idiot, imbecile, funny person. In standard French, it means dickhead or bastard. I like to think that Lucas knows standard French, which helps him to understand Remi when he's slipping into his native patois. ;)
Donne la belle Sascha un bec pour moi - give the lovely Sascha a kiss for me
Fun fact: "bec" can mean "kiss" and "beak." So I'll tell my pet birds "bec la bec!" I'm easily entertained, what can I say?
#my writing#psy changeling#fan fic#kid fic#psy changeling trinity#sci fi#eventual romance#meet-ugly#eventual smut#scifi#nalini singh#shapeshifter#werecat#shape shifter#bakery#cupcakes#cajun french#original female character#paranormal romance#autumn#hate to love#pack dynamics#paranormal romantic suspense#plus-sized character#fat character#pack alpha#cookies#leopard#ocelot#changeling
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Spending Christmas Alone
It’s been over a year since I posted my cry for help in 2018, and I still remember it and the overwhelming response to it. The money I’ve received helped me and my family a lot to starve off eviction. Good news it that due to some foresight I took when I was at the Prince Georges County Social Services Office I was able to get Social Security Disability Insurance around March 2019. I had to use over half of the backpay to support my parents who still could not get a job no matter how hard they tried. I was also burnt out from emotionally, physically, and financially care-giving and I’ve been running on zero for years, despite the fact that I’ve gotten SSDI and this source of the burn out is from my parents. Ending my own life was not option and abandoning my parents isn’t an option because everyone in my family will call me a pile of shit instead of stepping up in my absence. I was simply forced to endure it because no one else wants to help.
I was simply forced to endure until I could not deal with it anymore. And that point came when my autistic brother had a seizure while on the his laptop and my mother was upset and screaming fearing that my brother is going to die. I could not control her emotions no matter what I done in the past, it was all bioscripted. After the incident, and the day where I visited the hospital and told my mom politely that I can’t support the family anymore and I did all I could as my brother needs round the clock care.
It took me 10 days from that to starting packing and starting to find a place to live, and for me for a person who knows no one that can help and public housing and section 8 is non existent anywhere, it was pure luck that I found a room in a house for 650 dollars and near a bus line to a metrorail station. I had to pay it out of my own pocket and from the student loan refund because social services explicitly told me that unless you have children or pregnant, regardless of disability, they will not help you with moving or rental assistance.
At one point, and I was serious, I planned to just put all of my stuff into storage, everything and just traveled across the country, because is relatively cheaper to live as a homeless person on SSDI and food stamps than to pay any money for a roof over your head.
My brother is at a group home, my mom and dad are making sure he’s doing ok and good. I’ve signed up for a part time care-giving service so I can be paid when I have to visit my parents to watch my brother. Unfortunately I have to wait for my pay to come because my first check I was supposed to received in direct deposit was sent by check instead and they it was lost in the mail. So I have to wait until next week Friday to receive it.
My mom finally has a job, paying 15 dollars a hour for the next six months with a possibility for being hired permanently. She’s also trying to get a small business running to make money on transporting elderly people to and from places using a used van. As for the house, it’s already three months behind, and I’ve told my parents to sell the house or rent it out if we can’t catch up with the mortgage. I’ve done all I could, and I’ve done enough. I come back to check on them on a periodic basis to make sure that the house is OK and make sure the trash and recycling is taken out. She’s also filed for bankruptcy, which means all of her debts are clean off.
As for me, I might has my independence back, but I’m paying for it for the rest of my life. Credit cards deb thave since been defaulted which I have to pay of for the rest of my life, same thing with student loans. This is because I’m unemployable due to a number of reasons that normal people can’t and don’t want to understand. Too many employers, even temp agencies don’t want a gap, and despite having relevant skills, too many employers don’t take resume reading seriously.
And NO, employers don’t accept caregiving as volunteer experience. Caregiving is not something you volunteer as you get nothing from it when you’re done caregiving or can’t do it anymore other than “just go to social services”.
And you will not believe the unsociltzed advice and advice dumps I get when I tell people online about my ordeal: Go watch a movie, travel, go date. Do I look I have money for all of this? And go date? Dating has changed, everyone uses phone apps to date. Worse, after age 30 you’re not supposed supposed to approach people anymore. Society has changed, and most people are stuck in the Pre-Great Recession era when it comes to getting social relations advice and job advice.
And too many employers for good paying jobs want a credit check and many will not hire anyone with a bad credit rating for any reason. This includes federal jobs, because there’s simply too many people who are in a better life position than I do. So I’m basically unemployed for life.
Oh why not the gig economy? I don’t have a car for most of them.
As for my relatives that refused to help or didn’t want to help, I can tell you straight up, that none of them offered me or my parents any help since I moved away. None of them. More proof that caregivers are just disposable and just told to shove themselves back into the job market. It worth nothing that none of them called me to say Merry Christmas, not even my friends or people I know who I contact on a regular basis. I basically don’t exist.
And this is one part of many of my life is destroyed by caregiving. I’m expected to rebuild my life with the scraps of what’s left of society that has radically changed in the past 5 years. It’s very difficult to reenter society as a ex-caregiver because there’s no resources online, and resources available are those assuming you have a large inhertance given to you. I have no motivation to live, no desires, and the interests I used to have are just chores. Chores to make sure that people who knew I was struggling for years, see that I’m still alive and I have not ended it my life. Aniem conventions, tv shows, anime, films, games, they’re all chores that I do so I won’t have to think about ending my life because my future no longer exist.
The only reason I’m not dead is because my parents would be upset, the people who know me but don’t contact me on facebook or whatever will be upset.
Even people I know, suddenly turn into social landmines because of something I did that I was out of my control, and already one of my convention exhibiters became a social landmine immediately. I didn’t knew she was going to turn into a landmine because all the years I’ve could have developed social skills was diverted to being a unpaid therapist to my long-unemployed mom. It’s simply not fair that I have to pay for this for the rest of my life for things too many people proudly take for granted.
I have too many things I wanted to do: It’s not a bucket list but a Dead List: Things I have to do before election day 2020, everything that I wanted to do before my life was stolen when I was forced to caregive for five years. After Election Day 2020, I’m done. I don’t belong in a society that has become unsympathic to caregivers or those pushed out of the lifescript or it has become polarized politically polarized. And I don’t see a future for American society other than a dystopic hellworld that I’m not equipped for and there is no future for me other than existing day to day just experiencing a dystopian hellworld that I have no interest seeing because I already know how 2020 will end and no one will believe me. If I was not forced to caregiver, I would not be worried about this, I would be more than prepared, but for me I have no interest experiencing a dystopia so that others won’t be upset.
I wanted to post this on tumblr so bad, but I had no energy to write or type this out or to post because the motivation is simply gone. While I’m back in school, all I’m doing is building more debt.
As for this Christmas? I spent it alone, I’ve only called my parents to say merry Christmas and see how they were all doing including my autistic brother. And the only thing I ate is a large baked chicken I’ve bought two weeks ago that I didn’t had the motivation to eat until today. And someone had to audacity on Reddit to insist I have a merry Christmas, even though I expressed misery.
I even didn’t had the energy to promote my gofundme because I simply don’t have a celebrity that can help me. Because in this day and age, unless you know someone that can help or have gobbs of money there is no way out of poverty.
So yeah a person with autism who has his life destroyed by caregiving, and no relative or friend or loved one to spend time with on Christmas. More proof that ex-caregivers are worthless to society despite how “noble” and “admirable” they are. But not noble enough for society to help them when they’re done caregiving and when isolated and alienated.
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If for some unknown reason this post blows up:
https://gofundme.com/help-jkid-get-out-of-debt/ - That’s my gofundme
https://www.paypal.me/Jkid4 - my paypal
https://cash.app/$Jkid - My cashapp
https://www.patreon.com/Jkid - My patreon for some unknown reason people are interested in what I’m doing as a hobby.
#spending christmas alone#Happy Holidays#autism#depression#poverty#disablity#developmental disablity#caregiving#ex-caregiving#ex-caregiver#saveJkid#foreclosure#CPTSD#presents#christmas presents#social isolation#social alienation#social security#social services#rant#random thoughts#christmas#bucket list#hellworld#hell world#unemployed#Gofundme#patreon#cashapp
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Ok so... Life Update!
A lot of stuff has happened in my life over the last year, and I think it’s finally calmed down enough I can actually write about it.
So anyone wondering what’s been going on with me lately, sit back, relax, and Keep Reading.
I warn you tho. It’s a long read, and probably mostly pretty boring, so if you just want the basic gist, you can scroll to the bottom of the post.
This life update comes to you in three parts:
1) Where I am now 2) A new car! 3) What is still to come
This is gonna be super long, so if you want the TL;DR version, scroll all the way down to the bottom.
So first things first, PART 1:
So, my husband got himself out of his super-abusive work environment and after a stressful six months of job searching (in which we were pinching every penny we had in the bank) he finally got himself into a nice work place that actually treats him like a person! Yay! (I realize most of this part was covered in the life update post I wrote back in October, but eh)
He had to take a SUPER hefty paycut hiring in here, but I fully believe it’s worth it. The pay he was getting at his old job allowed us to live pretty comfortably, but it was at the cost of his emotional well-being. I’m not gonna go into details on what they did, cuz that would take a WHOLE other post, and this one is long enough as it is.
SO!! While the husband hopped into our car and set off to start his new job in the far off land of corn, wheat, and soybeans, it was up to me to get the house packed up and sold, get the husband’s truck sold and gotten rid of (as he didn’t seem to think it could make it to Indiana in the shape it was in), and basically everything having to do with moving out of our house in Florida. This took place from early October to almost Christmas.
By the time I was done with all that, I was mentally and emotionally frazzled. I could barely perform basic social functions because I was so tapped out on all the phone calls I had to make. I hate hate HATE making phone calls. I can muster up the mental energy to make an important phone call if I really really need to, but doing so many over the course of a month left me absolutely drained.
It was a very stressful three months, and a might lonely without the husband, BUT I got it done! All of it! Only thing that technically isn’t done is that the house still isn’t sold, but that’s more on the realtor than on me at this point. My part’s done until she finds a buyer for it.
And so the week of Christmas, I pile into a rental van with the mom and sister (who came up with me so we could all be together for Christmas, plus they could take the rental back where we got it) and we drove up to Indiana.
I reunite with the husband, and we settle into the place we’re currently staying, which happens to be technically my in-laws’ lake house meant for family vacations. They were generous enough to allow us to use it until we get our own place, and I could not be more grateful for it!
So that’s where I am now.
PART 2:
So... it’s January. Winter here.
Unlike Florida, which doesn’t believe in seasons colder than maybe Spring, it... snows here in the winter.
The lake house we’re staying at is in a very hilly area. Lots of slopes and curvy roads because lakes.
So a couple weeks ago, we got in the car and left the house to head to go visit family.
And then we turned a corner and there was an S-curve... going downhill... covered in ice. Long story short gravity slid us into a pole.
Needless to say our trip was cancelled :V
All things considered, we were super fortunate that the pole stopped us, cuz if we had slid further beyond that, we would’ve likely ended up falling into a ravine... so... Yeah I prefer the pole over that!
We were slow enough we made it out mostly unharmed. The worst we got was a pair of bruised knees and a scuffed wrist.
But the car was a total loss. So we had to drive on a rental for a couple weeks until we could get a new car, which our insurance covered pretty well. They didn’t cover the rental, but that was more on me than them cuz I didn’t opt for that coverage cuz i didn’t think I’d ever need it.......... ._.
SO ANYWAY a couple days ago we went and got a new car and returned the rental and now everything is nice again! Yay! Except now we also have car payments! :D
But they’re not too bad tho, since the insurance money covered such a big chunk of it.
PART 3:
So right now, we’re just waiting for our house in Florida to sell. Once that finally happens we can start taking steps towards getting a new place.
Right now we can’t do anything because first of all, we still have to pay mortgage, and until it is sold we will continue to have to pay mortgage. Second of all, we’ve got a mountain of credit card debt racked up because MOVING OUT OF STATE IS NOT A CHEAP PROCESS HOLY FUCK!!
With the storage and the rentals and the packing supplies and the uuuuugghh @_@
....yeah stuff is stress right now.
But hey! Now that I’m done with all the moving nonsense (for now), I can finally get back to making art!
@underfellfangame has been super patient and understanding during this whole process. I know he’s super stoked about me getting back to work, and I know I could use every dollar I can earn at this point. xD
Plus I actually miss making art! I really needed the break, but I’m actually pretty hyped to do something that doesn’t involve phone calls and paperwork.
So you can expect more Underfellfangame-related art from me..... fairly soon? I can’t make promises how soon cuz it’s still slow going, and real life shenanigans can come out of nowhere (as was evident by the whole business with the car)
So stay tuned for that!
Maybe once my house sells and I’m finally able to get my credit cards back under control, then I might be able to think about doing art for myself again. Maybe I’ll even think about finally trying my hand at actual commissions, who knows?
For now, I’m just gonna do what I can to earn what little extra money I can get in the meantime whilst the husband earns his paychecks.
BONUS PART 3b:
I don’t know how long it’ll take to sell the house, and I don’t know if we’ll be able to keep up with the house payments with the husband’s paychecks and what little money I can get with my art.
So as much as it pains me to do this.... I’m asking the internet for help.
If anyone has a few bucks to spare, I could always use some coffee. Aside from this I’m open to ideas.
And here I will copy and paste what I wrote in my post back in October because it’s still 100% true.
I’m afraid I don’t have anything to offer in return at the moment, which is why I haven’t asked for monetary help previously, and even then I’m putting my plee at the bottom of a long post hidden under a cut.
After I’m finally moved and settled down and my life once again becomes stable, I might be able to do something in thanks, but until then I make no promises.
So please please PLEASE don’t feel like you have to. It is just coffee, after all. This is only if you really want to help and just happen to have extra dosh. Also I just really like coffee.
[[Click Here to Buy Me Coffee]]
If you made it this far, holy cow thank you so much for taking the time to read all this!
Just doing that by itself is amazing, and I can’t thank you enough for caring enough to read all this. I know it’s a lot @_@
Thank you. Seriously, thank you.
Now, I’m going to go try and do what I can to make sure my life stays in order.
Hopefully I’ll succeed! We’ll see.
TL;DR VERSION
Even if you only read this bit, thank you very much for your time! It really means a lot to me. =)
Part 1: My husband got a new job and we’ve moved from Florida to Indiana, which super stressed me out, but we’re okay so yay!
Part 2: We lost our car in a crash, but then got a new one! Yay!
Part 3: We’re currently in house limbo waiting for our old house to sell, and our money is super tight, but now I have time to make art again! Yay! Even if it is just Underfellfangame stuff for now. Bonus Part 3b: We could use some help. If you like what I do and would like to help us more easily get through this trying ordeal, you can buy us some coffee here.
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Why They Don’t Teach us About Money in School
The reason I created this website in the first place was because of this: lack of financial education in school.
It made me angry and frustrated that governments simply don’t believe it’s an essential part of our education. Ever since I took notice of this huge lack of education, I’ve been thinking and writing a lot on the topic – but I’ve never had a proper sit down and thought about the why. Why have governments so royally messed up on this one? So I did a bit of research and asked a few questions – and I think I have a few answers.
Times have changed
This is how it worked before: study hard, get good grades and get a high paying job. Once you get the job, stay with the company for 40 years and in exchange they’ll pay you a pension with benefits and rewards.
It’s all very fancy and dandy but times have indeed changed. In the past 50 years the pension system, the tax system and the legal system have evolved and changed drastically. Now, you’re responsible for your own retirement and you’re the one who has to make sure you’ll have enough money at 70. So yay, government has decided to give us a bit more of space and independence (I’d say that’s a good thing). But there’s just one issue – we have no idea how.
Schools are still teaching us the whole get good grades and a high paying job deal – but the truth is, that’s not enough anymore. Now, people are job-hopping, the economy has had a few crashes and there’s a lot of robots about. If you want benefits, a secure retirement and something stable, a job isn’t the answer. Financial education is. And schools haven’t caught up yet.
Teachers don’t know
Working on from the last point, teachers are older than the students (normally). Since they’ve been taught through the old education system, they too have no idea about personal finance, and therefore don’t feel capable of teaching it themselves. As you see, it’s a vicious circle.
Governments and financial entities have to step in and offer education to the teachers before it can follow on to the students.
Teachers are also under a lot of pressure to get the students passing exams and getting good grades. This means they prioritize other subjects such as maths and chemistry, leaving personal finance forgotten next to sex ed.
Not only that, but personal finance is that: personal. If the teacher’s financial situation is a mess, they’re unlikely to know how to teach it to students.
So you see how it is – not only do the governments have to educate teachers on personal finance, but they also have to help them improve their own financial situation. This means fixing previous mistakes, encouraging self-education and self-improvement. Financial education starts with the individual, and will governments be bothered to help the individual teachers? Considering the current low pay and pension cuts, I think we have quite some way to go.
Parents don’t know
We learn a lot from our parents – habits, politeness, cooking, etc. Another big thing we learn from them: money. If parents take time to teach their children the important aspects of money and some good financial habits, the child will grow up with the essentials of financial education. But if the parents have no idea about finance… surprise surprise, neither will the kids.
This is especially true if the parents have bad financial habits: constantly in debt, making bad decisions, complaining about the lack of money. All this influences the child and will lead to future financial ignorance as well as bad money habits.
So once again, governments would have to step in and help the individual parents sort out their own finances before they could start relying on them to bring up financially aware kids.
No one knows where to start
From what it seems, no one really knows where to start. No matter how many times we shout ‘we don’t know what are taxes! Or mortgages! Or venture capitalism!’, the system will still be like ‘but what do we teach them?’.
Ok so maybe I’m being a bit mean – the British government did in fact add personal finance into the education curriculum in 2014. It’s now compulsory for schools to teach it in their maths and citizenship classes But guess what? Nothing has changed.
Why is that? Because the curriculum and teaching methods are lacking. And we shouldn’t be surprised: half of students dislike maths, reading, history, economy, etc. Simply because the education system is antiquated and we’re still teaching with boring theory books, memorisation techniques and lectures. But that’s another rant I won’t go on; the simple fact is that students aren’t being taught well in any subject, which is why personal finance isn’t any different.
Experts think people aren’t interested
Ewww.. finance? Is that some kind of disease?
Experts seem to think that the general population isn’t interested in learning the basics of money.
I have to say I disagree. I bet if you went into a classroom and shouted ‘Who wants to be rich?’ everyone would raise their hands. Once again, it’s about using effective teaching methods and making the topic interesting: activities, real life experiments, interactive games, etc.
In college, we get our first proper taste of money. More freedom, less supervision from parents, etc. Because of that, students go all out with their money: ‘let’s all see who can spend their student loan money the fastest’ (we’ve all done it). Honestly, it’s fine: college is there to experiment, to try out the weird stuff and allow the crazy to flow. If you get kicked out of your accommodation well that’s on you – better now than at 30 with a family.
Students want to go crazy with their money simply because they think budgeting is boring, saving means more restrictions and investing is only for the rich. But the thing is that financial education isn’t just about that – it’s about being aware, being in control of what happens and knowing what to do. Want to waste half your student loans on cheap alcohol? Go ahead, just make sure that you’re aware and know how to deal with all the problems that come next.
What I’m trying to say is that people are interested in managing their money and being financially stable – we’re just living in a culture that doesn’t teach us how to.
Consumerism
A slightly darker reason for the lack of financial education: it’s easier for others to steal your money.
Ignorance is bliss? Yes, but not when you’re money is slowly disappearing into the pockets of others. Banks, companies, media corporations, governments – they make more money when you don’t know what to do with your finances. The more debt you accumulate on a credit cardthe more you’ll have to pay back to the company. The more adverts out there convincing you to buy a new car the more money you’ll spend on something you should be buying second hand.
It’s scary and it’s sad, but I think we can all agree that it’s true.
It’s also the reason why people are scared of money and believe that it’s ‘evil’. All the financial jargon makes it hard to understand what really is going on. All we are taught is that we need money for food and for a roof over their heads, so we cling onto something secure, something stable: a job. And many times, it’s a job we dislike, or even worse – we tolerate. This common occurrence is called the rat race and it’s what a large part of our society is based on. A discussion for another time.
just look at that APR
It’s not all bad news:
I may have painted a pretty negative picture of our governments and society as a whole. Although there is a lot of work to be done on financial education, I’m happy to say quite a few organisations and charities have been campaigning for financial education for years.
Here are a few of them:
CAP (Christians Against Poverty): This British charity is all about counseling people out of debt and helping them back on their feet.
Young-Money: An organisation with resources on helping children understand money. They create programmes for schools to teach personal finance to kids.
MyBnk: Another cool organisation creating programmes and workshops to help young children learn about budgeting, saving, loans, etc.
The Money Charity: Very awesome charity that works on products and services teaching finance in schools – they also talk to policymakers and try to change the laws.
There’s a lot going on in other parts of the world. I see more and more personal finance blogs in America taking on financial education and talking about curriculums and the different steps to take. There’s work to do, but at least we’re getting started.
What we can do about it
It’s true that a lot of it lies in the hands of the government and the education system. They need to work not only on implementing an efficient personal finance class in the curriculum, but they also need to focus on the individuals: the teachers and the parents. And that’s not always easy.
As a member of society, we can also help out. You don’t need to go all out and create a blog (#me), but I think one great way to increase awareness is to simply talk more about money with friends, family and strangers. Money is still a taboo topic, and asking someone how much they make is like asking them how their sex life is doing – it simply gets awkward. So let’s make it less awkward: talk to your friends about your current money problems, ask them how they’re dealing with theirs and try to find a solution together. What you’ll learn will be with you for life.
Read more like this over at Financially Mint
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The Ultimate Guide To Money Now Loans
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Both, 1000% both.
First, so fucking what if I can't buy a house because of my credit? You have zero way of knowing why someone has bad credit. Even if they're just not good with money, how the fuck does that translate to they don't deserve fucking shelter?!?
Second, let's live in a fantasy where everyone has good credit -- awesome, find me a lender that will give you a mortgage without a down payment. That's right you need to save up! Well you have to live somewhere while doing that, and you will never be able to save up for a down payment if you are making the current minimum wage anywhere in the US, even if you have zero debt.
Third, ok you got good credit, you got a down payment, but you do freelance work. Nope, lenders want a guaranteed income.
Fourth, youve got your credit, you've got your down payment, you meet all the lender requirement... hey, you need a place for just a year, for whatever reason -- could be finishing school and planning to move out of state, could be getting married and planning to move in with your partner, maybe your job moves you around a lot, I don't know, doesn't matter because it's none of my fucking business since I'm not the Great Arbiter of Who Deserves Housing And Who Should Rot. Whatever your reason, a mortgage would LOSE money if you sold after a year.
Fifth, magic fairy world, also known as too goddamn much money America, money doesn't matter. But you're a med student who is home every other day for 2 hours in which you get to shower and close your eyes to pretend you remember what rest feels like, or any life that is just vastly overwhelmed. Owning a home SOUNDS really nice, but there's upkeep for that, like clearing the sidewalk and driveway in the winter, cutting grass in the winter -- anything breaks, you need to find someone to come and fix it, and you need someone there to let them in when they come and the appointment they gave you is a 12 hour window. That's a GIGANTIC pain in the ass when compared to be able to call a good, caring landlord (please note, I am NOT saying landlords are good and caring, that's why no matter how high the wages are, regulations MATTER.)
Ok, the money is lined up, your career is set, you've got the time to care for a house... you just fucking hate living in the same place for more than 2 years let alone the kind of long term commitment a mortgage requires. THAT'S STILL VALID! You deserve a place to live, regardless of the fucking reason! Your reasons do not need to be approved by the Karen committee, because regardless of what they believe no one has the right to make choices for another adult!
We will always need an option to rent. You can't tell kids they need to be financially and logistically and emotionally prepared to buy a house at 18, and for a lot of kids staying with their parents until they are isn't an option. It is too tempting to look at the American ideal of we all must own homes as the answer (because where else will you and the cishet spouse make and raise your necessary 2.5 kids, because God fucking forbid anyone should have a choice?!?)
Regulations are GOOD. They don't destroy business, they don't cause job loss, they certainly do not kill industries. They just don't. I promise you, apartment buildings and houses are not going to disappear because landlords are told they have to treat tenants as human beings.
It's called a credit card.
And then this:
You're basically using other people's rent to pay your rent on the property. "But I have to pay a mortgage!" Why did you buy seven homes? Why did you buy seven fucking homes that a family looking to buy, to LIVE IN, could have bought?
Comments section is like 'well if you want a home bad enough, just buy one. Oh wait. They probably have bad credit.' Fuckin no, dipshit! Fuckin Lucas up there is buying up all the real estate. Cant even tour a house with good credit because you blink and it's off the market.
Why do you need seven homes, Lucas?
There is an example of a decent landlord in the article. She runs several apartment buildings and she organizes social gatherings, education programs, tries to help tenants that are struggling. Great. Good for her.
My last apartment caught on fire because the property manager said that the burner on the stove not working wasn't a problem. In early 2010s, I paid 360 for an apartment with a hole in the roof and a heater that had two settings.
All this talk about terrible landlords in my area comes because of a negligent landlord that didnt pay any fucking attention to service calls and just collected his paycheck every month finally was labeled a public nuisance. (Some very gross details in that link.)
"We're not all bad people" but the average cost of a studio apartment in columbus is $700 and the minimum wage isn't even nine whole dollars and you still require 2/3 of that to be your biweekly paycheck to even apply. Yall wouldnt be rushing to evict people when the moratorium ended. You wouldnt deny housing to sex workers.
Landlords need to be fucking regulated, the minimum wage needs to go up, or both.
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Christians get cancer at the same rate as everyone else via /r/atheism
Christians get cancer at the same rate as everyone else
I just need to rant.
This will be long.
I just need someone to commiserate with me.
Yesterday my father had a 14 hour surgery to remove a tumor from his throat and tongue. He may make a decent recovery, but the whole procedure is honestly the stuff of nightmares. His ability to communicate is up in the air. His ability to eat solid food will probably return with rehab. Hopefully.
He's not that old. This is our third round of cancer treatment. The prior radiation in his mouth and throat only complicated things. Turns out our family has a broken gene and cancer is just gonna happen. I inherited it. I have multiple cancer screenings every year and will for the rest of my life.
He's also one of the most devout, unwavering Christians that I know.
My brother and I were raised in essentially a non-denominational Christian cult. (Spoiler alert: my brother and I are both atheists). Honestly, there were worse cults to be raised in. What a low bar, huh? They don't think abortion is a sin, but they're not ok with gay people. They don't believe in hell as a punishment. They of course encourage their members to tithe, and here's a fun bit - don't permit their members to be in debt. Look, not having tons of debt is a good principle, sure, but this extended to mortgages. As a result they've given 10% of their income to this church for years and never invested anything, so on top of all this I'm staring down supporting my extended family after their church took their money for 30+ years and they just kept throwing money at rent because their church told them mortgages were bad.
I've been home for a couple of weeks to support them and deal with my dads upcoming rehab. I drove across the country to get here because COVID + cancer patient is terrifying. At least my parents are vaccinated - their church is also surprisingly ok with modern medicine.
And I'm just... exhausted being surrounded by religion. Every book in their house is about god. They call multiple people every day to pray with them. I get in their car and the only thing on my Mom's iPod are religious services. Every piece of art on their walls is religious or a random picture with a bible verse printed out on it. They attend church 3x a week (via Zoom thankfully).
And they talk about how God is taking care of them.
If your God is taking care of you, why the fuck do you have cancer. Why have you had to endure multiple surgeries, multiple rounds of chemo and radiation. Why are you staring down being permanently disabled.
If your God is benevolent and you have fulfilled what he asked you to do, why are you sick. Again.
I'm waiting for when we have a fight about this. Where they blame my Dad's sickness on my brother and I not believing. Or blame themselves for some tiny failure in their faith. Because that's what a just, all-powerful God would allow to happen.
And that's it really. I'm just tired.
tl; dr; Watching my incredibly devout Christian parents go through horrific cancer treatments is just breaking me.
Submitted February 02, 2022 at 04:28PM by Throwaway96728591 (From Reddit https://ift.tt/5y7oPZRqU)
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5 Easily Avoidable Credit Pitfalls
Most people are aware of the big things that can affect your credit. Running up large amounts of debt, a spotty payment record for your credit cards, or a foreclosure. But there are a lot more things that can affect your score, not all of which are completely avoidable. However, I have observed a few common ways that people shoot themselves in the foot, credit wise, and may not even know it.
1. Chronically late bill payments including phone, and utilities- If you carry large amounts of debt, it can usually be put on your credit reports, regardless of to whom you owe the money. This includes your phone bill (if you have a contract), your internet, and your other utilities such as gas, water, and electricity.
2. Payday loans- Avoid these like the literal plague, because they will destroy you. I have found that it is pretty common for people with ok credit to take out payday loans to "help" their family members who may have run up all their credit, or may not have the score to get the loan themselves. Why people do this, I will never know. But I will say that you are helping no one by doing this. If you can't afford to help your family without taking out a loan, how do you plan to pay back the loan?
3. Allowing charge-offs on any account- "Charge-offs" aka write offs, or allowances for bad debt, occur when you stop paying on any kind of credit account and the debt is written off as "uncollectable". This is extremely detrimental to your credit score. Credit reporting agencies and creditors basically never remove charge offs from your report without settlement. You can contact the owner of the debt (because it is probably not the same company that you originally owed the money), and offer to pay off the debt in full or see if they will set up a settlement plan for you. Once this happens, it is up to you to ensure that it is reflected on all three of your credit reports.
4. Signing up for a store credit card- Just, why? I can maybe understand someone trying to "credit hack" the rewards credit card of a retailer that they frequent. However, I fully advocate for spending less. I think pretty much anyone who is living on more than 3x the national poverty level could afford to spend less, save the extra, and invest the difference so the money compounds. This will more than likely net you more money than any type of "credit card hacking" will.
5. Not checking your full credit report every year (at least)- This is one of the most commonly overlooked credit tips I have heard. Most people are unaware that they can request a copy of their full credit report from each of the 3 credit reporting agencies every year. This is to allow you more knowledge of what is impacting your score. Unfortunately, errors on credit reports are incredibly common, especially for those with more common names. Some people have found that entire mortgages are affecting their score, of which they have no knowledge because they are actually owed by people with a similar name i.e. Juan G. Garcia/Juan L. Garcia. This is also very common with people who share a name with a parent. Finally, if you have a longer credit history and have never seen your full reports, or you will be shopping for a house in the next few years, start checking them every six months. Although, you may be required to pay a small fee for the second report, it could be worth it for either of the cases above because it gives you the ability to make sure that any changes that need to be made are, in fact, being made. Experian, however, has now digitized their reporting. So, if you make an Experian account, you have access to your Experian report online at any time.
Hopefully you can avoid some of these pitfalls, but fear not if you have already fallen into any of these. Most of these, with the exception of the charge offs, can be remedied by doing your best to live below your means. Of course, everyone has their own situation, which is why I always recommend doing your own research and consulting a professional whenever possible.
If you enjoy this type of content, let me know down below, and make sure you scroll through the rest of our articles here at J.D. Whirley Financial!
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Oh fuck it. I'm upset and honestly I just want people to see this. Cause it makes it easier for me to remind myself that it's not me. I'm not a bad person. My mom is emotionally abusing me and this behavior isn't normal, nor is it my fault.
It's times like these that remind me why I love Iron Man so much tbh. Anyway.
I have done everything I can.
I've been looking for a job since December when I signed up for classes. I finally got a call back Feb, and the background check is taking a while and idk why. It's completely out my control, and all I can do is wait.
I paid off the $1600 surprise debt to the college, which was what kept me from enrolling in December. I paid it off by myself with my money. I didn't even ask for help. I was lucky that I got so much back from taxes because of travel, work expenses, and car maintenance fees from when I worked with v*iv*int this summer, so I could pay it off. I was expecting maybe 200$ or so back from taxes, so I had even shown her my plans on how to repay it to her as soon as I found out that the dean of financial aid at my school couldn't help. She was still mad at me for not enrolling in spring and said it was my fault, even tho the dean showed there were no records of me ever being mailed a billing statement or notified, so I had no way of knowing I had that debt until I tried to enroll this past December. She said I was just trying to find a way to be a deadbeat.
I had money left over and tried to pay her mortgage payment for her. I tried to pay her car payment. I try to buy groceries for them all the time. I offer to help with her homework and DO IT FOR HER all the time. She refuses all help I offer. I've tried to take her out to dinner, to spas, to the movies, and she refuses to go. She'll go with Dad, but she'll never let me take her, and says I need to save my money, but then as soon as she gets annoyed with me, threatens to make me pay her rent.
She asks me to clean around the house. I gladly agree and do it. She asked me to change my sleep schedule. I HAVE. She thinks I haven't for some reason, despite being up and about ALL DAY yesterday. I was even on the phone, talking to my friend so she could hear that I'm awake. There's nothing she's asked of me that I haven't done. I don't know what her problem is.
But like I stay holed up in my room and this is why I'm not eating. Any time I leave my room, she finds something to get mad at me for, something to accuse me of, and some reason to threaten me. I just. She addresses me and I always respond. I don't argue. I answer her questions. She gets mad at me and I just agree because even if I respond and answer her and try to prove I'm doing what she's asking, she doesn't believe me and gets even more angry at me. I don't know why, because she'll tell everyone that I'm an honest person.
If I say nothing, ok, or agree with her when she accuses me, she just gets even more mad and says im ignoring and disrespecting her. If I get upset(mostly due to stress and exhaustion at this point) or try to be apologetic, she doesn't believe me.
So this why I've eaten one piece of lasagna Sunday(about 7pm) one Arby's sandwich and fries Monday(about 8pm), and two clementines and some chicken nuggets yesterday(about 7pm). I've had only two sodas and one glass of water, and one glass of milk over those three days. I had a bowl of cereal four hours ago.
That's it, that's all I've eaten, and she still calls me a mooch that's taking advantage of her. Going hungry for the sake of being forgotten about is a better alternative to reminding her I'm here so she can find a reason to threaten and antagonize me.
I just. Want to actually start working for a reason to be out the house(that is the least likely to get me locked out every day) and making money to save up to leave when I get my student returns in September.
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Dogecoin moving ahead of bitcoin and every other cryptocurrency out there per google News
https://www.dailyfx.com/forex/market_alert/2021/04/14/Dogecoin-Explodes-and-Leads-the-CryptoMania-Ahead-of-Coinbase-DPO-Bitcoin-Cash-Surges-.html
Dogecoin aims to take over the cryptocurrency market. BitCoin got into bed with governments across the globe, DogeCoin is being called the people’s money across the globe. Decentralized away from Governments which is why is it gaining so much traction.
One thing is for certain dogecoin is here to stay it will have its good days and it will have his bad days just like any other stock. The biggest difference between doge coin and any other currency is that doge coin gives the people the power to control the almighty dollar instead of corrupt governments.
Our tax dollars go to paying police that are killing people left and right and it has started movements such as #blacklivesmatter and #Georgefloyd
People want to defund the police across the nation and it’s no wonder when police are killing innocent teenagers, please see the news links below.
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/ncna1264731
https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-52861726.amp
People are starting to realize to cut the head off the snake we need a new currency that can actually make a difference.
Imagine all the people that would still be here if the police were not funded in the first place.
#DogeCoin is the only way to defund corruption in government and that’s why people are investing heavily in it.
#Fakenews Will do everything they can to shut down #Dogecoin governments Globally will do everything they can to quash this stock because they know if it takes off they will lose all control of the financial markets globally and it would put the people in charge of money not corrupt governments.
#DogeCoin Globally Becoming The People’s Money. People are realizing how governments spend our money.. #DogeCoin Even #Googlenews can recognize the people have spoken and the people can’t spend their money Innoway they see fit.
Doge coin will face opposition against every government entity in the world but what people don’t realize is we outnumber governments by about 9 1/2 billion people.
Every time a president leaves the White House it costs the taxpayers hundreds of millions of dollars for security, armored vehicles, private airplanes, and of course weapons of mass destruction.
Governments use so many social control mechanisms and scare people have to death daily to fill their agenda.
#Dogecoin it’s going to take off but every government in the world is going to do everything they can to make sure that doesn’t happen. If #dogecoin becomes bigger than bitcoin which #googlenews has already acknowledged is happening now.
———
A LIST CELEBRITIES ENDORSING Dogecoin
#Dogecoincryptocurrency
#dogecoin
#dogecoinovernightbillionaires
They understand the importance of this Currency. Dogecoin is the key to unlock the financial prison we are put in the second we get our first credit card and student loan. That is the moment you are processed. They might as well throw you in a black and white striped outfit at that point. They caught their fish that will be paying interest on those loans until you are 75.
Let’s say you wanted to be a doctor or a lawyer and you needed to get a student loan to get through college. Did you know that if you get a $500,000 student loan you would end up paying back $1.5 million after all said and done. There is a reason banks call interest interest rates it says it right in the name they are interested and ripping you off. Do you think that’s fair to borrow $500,000 to become a pediatrician to have to pay back $1.5 million? Your payments on that loan would be $4000 a month for 30 years. Now if you purchase a home for $500,000 the same exact concept applies. Now you are responsible for paying $8000 a month and that’s not including utilities, water, electricity, Internet, food, and entertainment. Since you are now obligated to pay those loans back in for you would have to make about $13,000 a month just to break even. If you miss a single payment your credit rating will go from an 800 down to a 450 pretty quick.
The United States national debt is $23 trillion and counting. What is their credit rating now? Oh wait, it doesn’t matter they can put their loans in deferment whenever they feel like it. To the federal government does it really matter if they are $23 trillion in debt or $100 trillion in debt? Who is going to oppose us? After Hiroshima and Nagasaki I don’t think any country in the world would dare use force on having us pay back China.
#Dogecoin - it’s not a matter of if it’s going to take off it’s just a matter of time which is why governments across the planet are purchasing more dogecoin than you could possibly imagine.
So it’s OK that the federal government can rack up that kind of debt with absolutely no consequences whatsoever but if we make a mortgage payment late you won’t be able to finance a popsicle after that for seven years. Is that fair? If you think the answer is yes please quick the X button at the top right of your screen.
Governments across the globe are purchasing quadrillion‘s of DogeCoin Cryptocurrency. It is acting exactly like Bitcoin did when Bitcoin first started almost verbatim
#DOGECOINGOINGTOBEBIGGERTHAMBITCOINGLOBALLYQUICKLYBESTBUYOF2021
DOGECOIN CRYPTOCURRENCY SET TO BE BIGGER THAN BITCOIN BY THE END OF 2021
Governments globally are perching quadrillion‘s of shares of DogeCoin cryptocurrency, it’s happening, and set to be much bigger than BitCoin
Governments across the globe are buying quadrillion‘s of dodgecoin Cryptocurrency shares for the next few weeks!
Purchase as many DogeCoin cryptocurrency coins as you can
#dogecoincryptocurrenybillionaires
When you commit yourself to an idea, that’s how legends are made. YOU HAVE THAT OPPORTUNITY HERE AND NOW.
Buy DogeCoin Cryptocurrency Today. It’s is set to reach over 1000 dollars quickly. Current Stock Price is less than 4 cents. This is how people become multi millionaires. I personal experienced a 425,000% gain in DogeCoin putting my portfolio well into the millions.
You can purchase DogeCoin here easily: Use my referral link https://lnkd.in/ecR2RJe to sign up for Crypto.com
https://lnkd.in/eKWJP8F
Even if you put 100 dollars in at 4 cents a share and it goes to just 1 dollars you will have just turned 100 dollars in 2,500.
I am 110% right on this one, you have to take a leap of faith on this. I wouldn’t be here telling you all this if this wasn’t the most important thing going on in our lives right now, and this stock being the 7th largest cryptocurrency in the world goes to 1,000 dollars you will have just turned 100 dollars into 2.5 million dollars.
This is one of those stocks that reminds me much of Bitcoin. At one time Bitcoin was trading for 200 dollars a coin. Now, Bitcoin is trading at over 62,000 dollars a share.
DogeCoin is following the same exact pattern that bitcoin did this is a must buy.
The people that purchased hundreds of bitcoin‘s at $200 a share are now billionaires, Bitcoin is trading at around 60,000 dollars per bit coin today. Imagine owning 1000 Bitcoin today purchased at 200 a Bitcoin.
To have the capability of turning $100 into $2.5 million quickly it does not get to look any better than this, do not miss your opportunity to blow, this opponent comes once in a lifetime.
This is bigger than you and I. This is for our kids, and our grandkids, and our great grand kids.
It’s okay if you don’t under Cryptocurrencies. I didn’t, I was a skeptic, until someone explained it to me in plain English. I will do just that, right now.
The programmers responsible for creating the block chain computer programming code or perhaps the most genius coders to have ever existed because they figured out a way to set us free in every way.
You might be working 40 to 60 hours a week making $40,000 a year maybe even $150,000 a year but the point is you are not working for yourself you are a slave to a company that will work you to the bone and then tell you to piss off when you are too old to do the job and younger more talented kids out of college can replace you for much cheaper. You might get lucky and have a small 401(k) and maybe even a small pension that you can live off of the rest your life in a two bedroom two bath and not have to work so you can be on a fixed income that you can barely get bion for the rest of your days.
Cryptocurrency is designed to give the people control of the all mighty dollar not the governments. I have seen governments go to very great links to try to shut down cryptocurrency because they know if it takes off governments lose full control over the financial markets. Whoever controls the financial markets controls your life.
The point of cryptocurrency is to give you the financial freedom to live your life on your terms however you deem necessary not how a government thinks you should live cryptocurrency gives you the freedom to make as much money as you want and the government can’t do a darn thing about it because it is a D centralized financial system that the government has zero control over. No government has control over any cryptocurrency which is the beauty of it all.
In short cryptocurrency gives regular people The ability to turn a few thousand dollars into a few million dollars so that they do not have to live and die underneath the sword of a corrupt government. They say we have the freedom of speech, the freedom of religion, and the freedom of press... our first amendment rights... if you honestly feel that is true you should ex out of this window right now.
Cryptocurrency gives people back their right to pursue happiness.
Cryptocurrency is designed to give you your life back and allow you to pursue your dreams. Your dream might be different than mine but whatever your dreams might be this is your opportunity to actually be able to accomplish your dreams and hopes for the future.
My dream personally is to expose the corruption in our medical system, and put the right people in charge of our health and wellness because right now we are getting poisoned with incredibly unhealthy foods that should never have been approved by the FDA, we are drinking water with an incredible amount of chlorine in it, and we are breathing in the most toxic air this world has ever seen and it is causing a battery of different health problems from cancer to auto immune disorders. People like to assume it was all one big coincidence but I can assure you it is 100% intentional.
There is absolutely no money in keeping people healthy at very low costs. There are trillions of dollars wrapped up in keeping people sick and selling them a host of pills and treatments they really don’t need. When I discovered the truth behind our medical system it was at that moment I decided to do some thing about it and cryptocurrency was the light when I was in the darkness.
People that I genuinely loved my whole life passed away because they were eating garbage and drinking toxic water, when it came time for our medical system to save their life they pumped him up full of chemo and radiation took all of their money threw a bunch of pills at them and then killed them after the insurance money was gone and there Bank accounts were liquidated and their houses were refinanced to the point where they owed more in their house than it was worth.
My dream is to make sure our children do not have to endure these medical injustices and I’m doing something about that right here and I hope you can join me in that fight. https://gofund.me/190a3d0c
On a day-to-day basis I am going toe to toe with big Pharma and Western medicine. We are only a few thousand strong at this time and big Pharma alone it’s a multi trillion dollar industry so believe me when I say, they will do just about anything to protect what they have built. Big Pharma has monetized and monopolized every single medicinal plant on earth.
https://www.newsmax.com/t/health/article/691946?section=Natural-Health&keywords=alternative-medicine-doctor-dies&year=2015&month=09&date=16&id=691946
https://www.gazettetimes.com/opinion/letters/letter-conspiracy-targets-holistic-doctors/article_66755c2b-0772-55eb-aaf5-7e18827d837c.html
Our naturalistic and natural path doctors are now forced to work underground they cannot advertise for obvious purposes.
Only the super rich can afford the best food, the best air with houses up in the mountains, and the finest water this planet has.
I highly encourage everybody to read the testimonials on X 39 stem cell patches. Again I was a skeptic at first but after being on stem cell patches for a year I genuinely cannot believe how much better I feel. I am 41 years old and I feel like I’m 25 years old X 39 stem cell patches simply activate your own stem cells because they’re being suppressed by chlorinated water and preservatives: https://www.lifewave.com/stemcellcancercure
Once a person loses everything and they have nothing left to lose, they are free to do anything. Someone with nothing to lose is perhaps the most dangerous, better yet, the most real person you will ever know. If you are one of these people, we sympathize with you.
Our Justice system is broken in just about every way. If you have had a case(s) which should have have gone to trial where Justice was actually delivered, I’d really, really like to hear about it. Email me the case at [email protected]
I have been in and out of court more times than I can count. Never once formally charged with anything. Judges don’t read your case, they have too many cases. They make snap Judgment calls with out doing their due diligence, and when Judges do this, and they do not listen, they may not realize it at the time, but it radicalizes a person down to the bone and ignites a fire in them that it impossible to put out.
Think about that for a second. We the people are paying Judges in building federal court houses so that the federal government employees can sit pretty in their new homes in their new cars while having the ability to pass judgment on others without even reading the cases.
These judges make snap decisions without having all the information and those decisions have it detrimental impact on everybody involved, that is, if you are even lucky enough to get a Judge The hear you.
Why are we funding a judicial system that simply does not listen two basic facts? Unless it’s a high profile celebrity keys your case Will be open and shut in 15 minutes in a Superior Court, House. I have seen judges put children back into a home that was clearly unfit for a child putting that child in grave danger. That’s just the tip of the iceberg. We can safely say in Arizona at least our judicial system does not care about us, at all. I watch them drive up in their V 12 venom viper and throw on a black robe.
We have to ask these tough questions. Why are our children hiding behind their i phone 12’s, why are our Schools being shot up, and why are teen suicides going through the roof? Try looking up statistics in the last 6 years. I can’t find any, which tells me it’s really, really bad. It is up 60% between 2007 and 2017. 60 Thousand Teens gone in those 10 years. The last 5 years, God Only knows because they won’t publish those numbers. If you can’t find some thing on the Internet that information is being suppressed.
Our children need time with their parents, love, and be able to take a few vacations a year with their families to make memories that will last a lifetime.
https://www.wsj.com/amp/articles/youth-suicide-rate-rises-56-in-decade-cdc-says-11571284861
https://www.cnn.com/interactive/2019/07/us/ten-years-of-school-shootings-trnd/
In the real estate crash around 2009 approximately 45% of America‘s wealth was lost. Ever since then just about everyone I know personally has been doing everything in their power to recover from that crash. That crash was caused by the Clintons and Alan Greenspan giving out incredibly risky loans to people with horrible credit ratings. Why would a bank give a loan to a person with a 400 credit rating and no income on a 3/1 adjustable rate mortgage? Homes were appreciating at nearly 30% a month for two or three years and then when we got to the top and realized it was all a house of cards, that house of cards came tumbling down and America feast another avoidable depression
https://www.wsj.com/amp/articles/youth-suicide-rate-rises-56-in-decade-cdc-says-11571284861
https://www.cnn.com/interactive/2019/07/us/ten-years-of-school-shootings-trnd/
Dogecoin has the answer. The dogecoin Cryptocurrency Stock can give families enough money to be able to take a little bit of time off of work so that they can give their children the love and attention they need so that these numbers are not so incredibly horrific.
It is a fact that our children are turning to their cell phones for attention because their parents are overworked and under paid. If a teenager gets a heart emoji from a pretty girl in his class that will mean more to the child then a weekend fishing trip with dad.
Dogecoin is a means to put healthy food on the table, healthy drinking water, and top of the line air filtration systems in your home.
It sounds easy to get clean food clean water and clean air but from everything that I’m seeing humans are not getting that right now. The top 1% of course are getting these items but if you don’t have a few million dollars to put in the right systems to protect your family you are left fending for your family as best you can with home made items. It amazes me the ingenuity human beings have on ensuring their families safety rich or poor.
I want you to get that house in the hills and I want you and your family to have the very best this life has to offer you deserve it. Purchase as much dodge coin as you can today and you will see what I am talking about just this morning we made over $20,000 just by purchasing DogeCoin a few weeks ago.
You can buy it here: https://crypto.com/
I will be straight up with you when you use my referral link we both get an extra $30 right out of the gate here is my referral link for being able to purchase DogeCoin on crypto.com. Please use my referral link or go straight to crypto.com to purchase DogeCoin. When you use my referral link we both get a little something to get started: https://lnkd.in/ecR2RJe
If you have any questions feel free to reach out to me text me FaceTime me I am in this with you. I am not a very good salesman I am simply trying to liberate you and give you and your family the very best opportunities.
You might ask would I gain from all of this and the truth is I don’t get much from publishing this information. The people that started cryptocurrency‘s were tired of being a slave to corrupt governments and they decided the people should have the ability to print their own money as a government does. This is your ticket to print your own money: https://lnkd.in/ecR2RJe
DogeCoin
The only way we can beat them at their own game is to become wealthy beyond our wildest dreams so that we can afford to live our lives on our own terms, and dodgecoin is the way.
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