#if anyone would like a connection with nicolas just let me know !

[theunsinkableship1]

Why I’ll Never Ship Them with Anyone Else

A Reflection on a Rare and Beautiful Connection

When I first started shipping Nicola and Luke, it wasn’t based on surface-level observations or mere on-screen chemistry. It wasn't just because they looked good together or had chemistry on screen. It was because of the way they interacted in real life how their friendship seemed deeper, more profound than the average co-star relationship. There was something about their energy, their mutual respect, and the shared experiences that made their connection stand out. They didn’t just complement each other professionally; they seemed to bring out the best in one another on a personal level too.

 It was about something deeper, something that felt real and rare. Over time, their bond became clear not just in their professional lives but in the way they spoke about each other, the ease of their interactions, and the undeniable connection they seemed to share both on and off the screen. It felt like one of those once-in-a-lifetime connections that we all hope for but rarely witness.

It all began as an unexpected interest, but quickly grew into something profound. I never intended to "ship" anyone, let alone two celebrities, but there was something undeniably special about Nicola and Luke that caught my attention and my heart. In a world where relationships often feel manufactured or fleeting, the bond between these two seems different. It feels rare, genuine, and out of the ordinary a connection that only comes once in a lifetime.

Now, I know many will point to potential other relationships they could have or may already be exploring. And while I respect their autonomy and happiness in their personal lives, any other connection no matter how nice it may seem will simply never hold the same significance for me. Why? Because statistically speaking, it's incredibly rare to find this kind of connection even once in a lifetime, let alone twice. The idea that either of them could stumble upon a relationship that offers the same depth, understanding, and chemistry feels unlikely at best.

In truth, I have no interest in their potential other connections, not out of dislike, but simply because they’ll never captivate me the way Nicola and Luke’s bond does. Their other relationships, while they may be fulfilling or loving, will by default seem more ordinary to me because what they share with each other is extraordinary. It’s not that I’m against them being with other people, it’s that those relationships will never solicit the same level of investment or intrigue. They’ll simply lack that spark, that ineffable quality that makes Nicola and Luke’s bond so captivating.

Even if they choose not to pursue this connection romantically, it will always feel like a missed opportunity for something truly beautiful. And though I will wish them both happiness in their careers and lives, I can't shake the sense that this connection deserves more. It deserves to be cherished, nurtured, and celebrated not just because it would be a beautiful love story, but because in a world that often feels devoid of real, meaningful connections, their bond stands out.

Their bond, in my eyes, is something rare and beautiful. It’s the kind of connection that transcends the typical, the kind that can evolve into a once-in-a-lifetime love story if pursued. And while I would always wish them happiness in their careers and personal lives, I can’t help but feel that their story deserves to be more than a "what if." I’ve never had much interest in celebrity relationships beyond a passing glance, but this, this is different. It’s not about star power or PR; it’s about two people with an extraordinary connection that feels like it could be something truly special.

For me, if their story doesn’t get the ending it deserves, it would be more than disappointing, it would be heartbreaking. Not because they owe it to anyone to be together, but because real love stories like theirs are so rare in the modern world. In a society where everything is shallow, fleeting, and transactional, where many things that are labeled "beautiful" or "valuable" are artificial at their core. But Nicola and Luke's connection seems like the opposite of that, it feels pure, natural, and rooted in something real witnessing a love story like theirs whether it's romantic or not brings hope. It reminds us that there are still connections that are genuine and built on something real. If they don’t pursue it, that’s their choice, and I’ll respect that. But it won’t stop me from believing that what they share is something worth rooting for, something that deserves to flourish. It’s a love story in the making, one that gives people hope. We need stories like that to remind us that true love still exists, that in a world so often corrupted, real and genuine connections can still thrive.

This isn’t just my perception either. People around them, friends, co-stars, crew, collaborators, interviewers, and even fans can see the unique qualities of their bond. Even in the recent article in The Times, Nicola acknowledged people’s interest in her relationship and potential marriage with Luke, laughing it off while emphasizing the deep love and friendship they share. But there’s something in the way she spoke about it, the way she described their connection, that made it clear: what they have is special. And whether or not it ever becomes romantic, it’s a bond that few people are lucky enough to experience in their lives. If they don’t end up together, I won’t be angry or resentful, just a little sad, because the world needs more real love stories like theirs.

In the end, I’ll never ship either of them with anyone else because I’ve never seen a connection like this before. I simply don’t believe they’ll find this kind of connection again. And while others may dismiss it as friendship or PR, I see it for what it is: A remarkable love I’ll always believe that they have something truly special, a once-in-a-lifetime bond that, if nurtured, could become one of the greatest love stories we’ve ever seen. And that’s something worth investing in.

[herejusttosufferalong]

THIS!!! https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPRoUh9pH/

I have been saying this all along. Even as a fairly rabid Lukola shipper, I would have been able to get used to the idea of Luke having a gf (even a young one, even one like A…) and could have MAYBE even gotten over the premiere night pap stunt if it hadn’t felt like, from the second those pics dropped, Luke was not only choosing Antonia over Nicola (which, fair enough, it’s his life) but that it was a zero-sum choice: date Antonia OR be close friends/supportive colleagues with Nic.

The way L and A have engaged (and not engaged) with Nicola since the premiere make it seem like:

Luke is whipped at best and cold at worst.

Antonia is jealous, petty, and insecure girlfriend.

L and A’s relationship is not strong enough to hold up against the full force of his connection with Nicola, hence him pulling away from it while he’s dating someone else.

It’s very possible none of these things are true, but there’s no other narrative to replace these assumptions in my head. I WANT it to look better than it does and it simply doesn’t. The bad energy is palpable.

It feels like the longer Luke commits to this approach, the more Nicola cools to him (“Lukey T Time,” anyone?). The irony is that she is the one person we all know could provide him the most professional support and personal comfort right now.

Side note: Can I just say I am *sick* of seeing people on Twitter repost N’s nice posts about him as a defense of him. All those posts make me think is, “And what did he say about her in return?” I am done letting her be his selfless defender!!! (And I think she’s done too…)

Thanks for letting me ramble. My IRL friends and family are sick of me talking about this :)

.

[savagewildnerness]

Made notes on Viaticum for the Marquise for book club, so I thought I’d share them here in case anyone wanted to discuss anything in this meaningless dissertation…. 

First of all, I wondered all of a sudden when reading this part whether episode titles might not actually be part titles of the whole TVL book?

Let’s discuss Gabrielle!  

Question 1: If you were Gabrielle, would you accept immortality from your son, not knowing if him giving you this could kill him?  I feel like if I had a child I’d say no myself… would she rather have immortality even if it had killed Lestat?  Or did she just not think it would kill him?

The first night she is a vampire, Gabrielle steals a load of expensive clothes, only to instantly discard them… Lestat talks of being spiritually exhausted and just wanting to go ‘home’ to the tower to rest.  But he doesn’t dwell fully on the why of it, nor does he dwell on much of the nature of Gabrielle’s new self and what it feels like to him – a monster, yes, but who in many ways tries to be *good* and who certainly at least struggles with the war between striving for good, and being a fabulous devil.  Gabrielle cares nothing for any mortal anymore.  She tells Lestat she feels as if she died, and refers to her mortal self as “she”, not me now (more reasons than one we can assign to this, of course.)  There’s a great quote on p174 with Gabrielle referring to her human self as she rather than me or I.  

It is way more than that she doesn’t care for those she kills in order to live.  She steals expensive clothes from humans, to discard them that same night without caring.  She snaps an innocent boy’s neck for his attire without thought, and without feeding on him.  How does Lestat really feel about this?  It is against the semblance of morality Lestat strives to follow… and yet Lestat also talks of what a wonderful monster he is and rejects his attempts at being moral as a self-deceiving-lie often enough… so, does he admire Gabrielle’s coldness, or does it terrify him?  Or, both?!  He calls her a pure predator… I think he most likely respects this aspect of Gabrielle, and simultaneously fears it, as I feel like the root of it (not actually caring about humans) is incredibly alien and unimaginable to Lestat.  Not dissimilar to how he always felt about the coldness in his Mother, I suppose…?

On this note: 

Vampire Gabrielle is freed from MEN and from human connections.  Her human-self is something she once was and is no longer who she is.  She cannot care about humans and feels separate to them, as The Sky or God may feel separate…  She is TERRIFIED of being trapped, as she felt in life.  To me, the moments as a vampire when she panics seem because of feeling somehow trapped potentially.  Gabrielle panics when her hair grows – she’s trapped with that CONSTRAINT on her free-self now for eternity (I also find it interesting how very practically Lestat responds to Gabrielle’s panic.)  She panics in the coffin in Notre Dame – could religion and men’s imposition of religion trap her?  She wants to be in nature, away from humans and society…

This is SO alien and inconceivable to Lestat!  Lestat fears lack of meaning, being alone and lack of love.  He craves connection to others.  To be good enough for another to find him worthy of love is the meaning of existence to Lestat.

They both fear what the other desires and desire or crave what the other fears…  I don’t think Lestat fully realises (or acknowledges at least) this initially, but I think Gabrielle knows it instantaneously… and so she also fears for Lestat.  She fears whether he will be able to survive.  I think this is one reason she instantly worries about Lestat turning Nicolas… and Gabrielle knows things of Nicolas in this respect of course that Lestat does not.  Nicolas and Gabrielle have been writing to each other, and Gabrielle may see more clearly the impact Lestat’s change in status has had on Nicki than Lestat does, blinded by both love and his new-born vampire self as he is…?  Lestat says Nicki had been drinking to excess and it had left him thinner and haggard, but had made his beauty all the more striking.  He notes the new malice in Nicki, but to Lestat, all human emotion is beautiful - in its humanity, so Lestat never seems to look to deeply into Nicolas’ experience.  We know the few times Lestat glimpsed inside Nicki’s mortal mind, he was terrified by the chaos and desolation he saw and he quickly withdrew.  

On Gabrielle, on p162, Lestat says “We were together and nothing could ever separate us now.”  Clearly he had no idea in that first instant of Gabrielle’s vampire-birth what would come to pass…

Lestat says “There was no mother anymore, no petty need and terror; she was simply who she was.  She was Gabrielle.”  I found this an interesting way of putting across the way vampires are no longer their human-selves – their human ties are instantly severed or altered (unless they choose to try to keep them), yet they are still their selves…?

I loved this way Lestat describes Gabrielle – “She looked delicate as a diamond can look delicate when preyed upon by light.”

So, let’s talk about Nicolas!  At this point, Nicolas is drinking to excess, believes Lestat has done some kind of Free-Masonry/Cult-esque alchemy/magic thing that he’s excluded Nicki from because Nicki is not an aristocrat, so is too societally lowly.  I feel this could be emphasised even more on TV, right in the middle of The French Revolution, as things will be?  It only gets worse when Lestat then *does* turn his own Mother, an aristocrat too.  

Could there even be parallels made between how Nicolas feels about Lestat to how Louis feels, I wonder?  Or that Louis feels differently – because Nicolas felt Lestat had deserted him... when Lestat first vanishes Nicolas is sure to defend Lestat’s integrity, saying that Lestat would never be ashamed of him or his friends and would never perceive himself as above Nicolas or anyone at Renaud’s.  But Nicolas thinks when he watches Lestat die yet live that actually he’d been naïve for once and Lestat HAS in fact excluded Nicolas from some secret he perceives Nicki as unworthy of.  He must feel like Lestat never loved him.  He must feel stupid and bereft and in the darkest place he has ever been.  

I think *this* is Lestat’s failure unto Nicolas.  Nicolas saw and accepted Lestat for all he was - even bringing up that he saw Lestat’s sensitivity when they were children, at The Witches’ Place… And that Lestat felt from Nicki’s music, I imagine made Nicolas felt Lestat accepted him too…. Not least as Lestat surely did love Nicolas deeply.  But now he thinks Lestat actually didn’t accept him for all he was as he saw Nicki as societally beneath him.  

Later, with Louis, we have someone who is not accepted for the all of who he is either – not in society, not within his family, not by God.  But this time, Lestat can accept Louis for the entirety of his self.  And, on TV, that’s exactly what Lestat offers Louis.  Is he learning this from these experiences with Nicolas in some way?

I think Lestat taking Nicolas with him after Renaud’s was Nicolas’ last true hope at survival.  As things went, even before Armand abducts Nicolas and shatters the very last of Nicki’s reason, I think Nicolas is on a path with only one end: death - from the moment he witnesses Lestat be shot to death, but not die… and then leave him.  I don’t say Nicolas had a huge chance at life even had Lestat taken him then.  But maybe Nicolas might have had 1% chance of life if Lestat had taken him away from Renaud’s right then, explained everything, and given Nicolas a choice of what he wanted.  From the moment Lestat left that night… Nicolas’ sand-timer was counting to his death.  I kind of wish Lestat had transformed Nicki the night after he, himself was turned.  Actually I think that would have been Nicki’s best hope.  But then again, I love tragedy too much, so I am happy Nicolas dies as he was always meant to at the same time!  And I don’t think, in his cynicism he was ever right for Lestat for eternity, even as much as I love Nicolas and believe in his and Lestat’s love as true.  I wonder if, when making Louis, in love, he ever thinks back and wonders how it might have been had he transformed Nicolas instantly?  Or had he at least shared with Nicolas instantly what had happened?  But maybe the knowledge of vampires in itself would have been enough to shatter Nicolas’ mind?  Maybe he was too fragile for immortality as it was, such was the level of darkness and cynicism in him, when coupled with his fragility and that religious foundation?  Anyway… I am straying far from the text here…

Small points:

I love Lestat’s connection to animals, for example, how he can summon his horse, even as a vampire.  Especially when animals are general instinctively afraid of vampires.  This is already on TV in S1 so I look forward to seeing this theme in S3 too.

P173 as Lestat and Gabrielle cross the bridge, Lestat feels “a commotion, the tumult of mortal minds.”  Is this Nicolas being abducted?

I WISH ANNE HAD WRITTEN MORE OF GABRIELLE AND MORE FROM HER PERSPECTIVE!

The first night Gabrielle sleeps and looks dead to Lestat and he gives her a blood kiss… what proportion do you think it’s motivated by desire/connection, and what proportion through his fear as she looks dead, she is dead?  It’s a big thing – she was going to die that very die and now she is alive… is she?

I love when Lestat just watches the sunset when he rises.

P178 “I wanted to say Nicki sat by your bed when you were dying, does that mean nothing?” – I loved this and so I quote it.

I love how in these first days of immortality, Gabrielle and Lestat show their love for each other by denying their desires, and remaining alongside each other before all else.

The Witching Hour again starts chapter 5.

P184 – why call any dwelling a home when it can be your LAIR!?!?!

When Lestat first sees the stable boy’s death in his mind he feels the death ‘as if I had seen a small dark bird suddenly rising from the stables.’ And I wondered – is that Nicolas’ mind-bird?

I love how full-out atheist Lestat is in TVL.  He doesn’t question his beliefs.  Like any 20-year-old, he knows his truth.

The hymns Lestat and Gabrielle hear in Notre Dame are both written by Thomas Aquinas, as mentioned in S1E2

Malice is used a LOT in this part

P161 – Even so early in his Vampire life, in traumatic times, Lestat goes back to Winters in the Auvergne in his mind.  Fragments of memory that always return.

P199 – Did Armand get ‘rapture’ from Lestat’s mind?  Armand is super creepy at the end here when he gets into Lestat’s mind… and he says “Come to me”

Lestat says Armand’s great weakness is pride.  Is it so?  

I ended the part writing “Naughty!  Armand!” When Armand tries to bite and drain Lestat.

Lines/bits I thought could be on TV:

“We were in Paris.  And we were going to live forever.”

Gabrielle jump scaring Lestat the first night she rises as her vampire self is pretty funny so I reckon will be on TV?

“But where would I want to go?  Away from all those I’d known and loved? I did not want to stop thinking of you, of Nicki, even of my father and brothers.  I did what I wanted.  If you follow your conscience, you do what you want….. (snip)… I wanted you to be happy.”  (Side note – wealth and gifts don’t make everyone happy, Lestat!) – Gabrielle and Lestat’s innate differences are really noted on P179

I feel Armand’s vampires at the Tower ‘like bats’ could be glorious gothic horror on TV

The stable boy in Nicki’s coat and Lestat not consciously accepting he recognises it at first will surely be on TV????

LOL at Lestat bursting from his coffin in Notre Dame as a Devil… YET still throwing money at strangers, so they love him and are made happier!!!!

“It will be rage until I have proof that it must be grief.”

Obviously I love all the Caravaggio descriptions of Armand, which are SO Assad too!  I hope some make TV!  And ‘like a succubus’!

Armand and Lestat’s fight in Notre Dame will be AMAZING!

Some dualities in IWTV:

Death vs life

Freedom vs connection

Nature vs society

Goodness vs evil

Mortality vs immortality

Enduring vs disintegration

I thought we could discuss any thematic dualities of note and how they may play into the form of the TV show and narrative?

Well that's all of my thoughts on this part... I say it as if I haven't just OUT-TOO-MUCH-ED Lestat himself with my (sadly also way less cool, contextually) too-much-ness!

HO HUM!

(Page numbers are UK current edition paperback.)

[darcytaylor]

I was re-reading some of your old posts, that I had saved over the months because they resonated with me.

You made some great points about respecting Nic for her wish to keep her private life private.

I honestly also really loved that about her, and do respect that if this is a relationship, that she kept it private during the WT…

But I’m struggling to understand why she decided to become more “public” about it.

It’s not about him sharing her posts- because a lot of her friends do that. It was the mutual follows which made it visible … all leading to the festival… and then now.

I know she may not be in a relationship with him- but it is a possibility. What do you think her reasoning is? Why has she changed her stance now?

I get that yes there is more likely that they would be seen together but she still could have made more effort to keep it hidden- ie not following mutuals; not brining him to events in a place like NY …..

I just feel lost with understanding who she actually is

I understand where you're coming from. Nicola’s decision to keep her private life under wraps has shown a level of respect for her own personal boundaries. The shift towards being more public, particularly with mutual follows and attending events with Jake, can definitely raise questions.

It’s important to remember that even though she seems to be spending time with Jake, the choice of company may reflect both of their comfort level with public life. Actors often hang out and are seen with fellow actors because they share similar experiences and understand the dynamics of being in the spotlight.

One possibility is that Nicola might feel more confident in her personal choices now, whether it's a shift in her relationship with Jake or simply a desire to embrace her life more openly. It’s also possible that she sees this as an opportunity to control the narrative rather than let speculation run wild, which aligns with how she has navigated her public persona. By knowing she would be hanging out with Jake and understanding that people would notice, she may have intentionally crafted their public interactions to retain a certain aura. This way, even though they’re seen together, it keeps people questioning and never knowing for sure what her relationship status really is with him, or with anybody.

A common practice among celebrities is to share more to control narratives and mitigate speculation, especially when they know they will be seen with fellow public figures.

Her career progression may also lead her to be more open about her personal life as a way to embrace new opportunities or connect with her audience in a different way. I think it’s natural for people to shift perspectives and actions in any part of their lives, and that includes her work and personal life.

It’s also worth noting that Nicola likely has friends and connections in her life who aren’t in the public eye yet share the same follows as her. These individuals may choose to remain out of the spotlight and avoid the celebrity world, adding another layer of complexity to how she manages her relationships. Let’s face it, I’m sure she has more friends than the select few that we have seen on her social media.

For me, if I were friends with Nicola or any actor, I would have certain boundaries, like not being featured on their public social media. I would want to keep things low-key, I would want to be invisible, which is evident in my choice of career as well (I work behind the scenes in my industry).

Ultimately, we still don’t know the true dynamics of Nicola’s relationships with anyone. And if someone tells you otherwise, it's impossible for them to know. What we see is just a glimpse into what’s presented to the public, which is no indication of what’s actually happening behind the scenes. I think it’s natural to feel a bit lost when trying to piece together motivations, especially since we do not know her. At the end of the day, she’s a multifaceted person, and we will never have all the answers.

[21stcenturyschizoidfag]

OK SO. HERE IS.. avery 21stcenturyschizoidfags very silly impromptu mewtuals hunger games simulator thingulator post. this thing was fucking long i didnt realise maybe i'm just crazy and beautiful. will post the next bit after

AS A REMINDER HERE IS THE ROSTER.. i didnt really have any specific metric for who i added i just added who i thought would find this funny to be totally honest. and the caroline polacheks mole v azealia banks spoon thing is a reference to this i just find it really funny because i dont personally like caroline polacheks music also i ahve a facial mole like hers too. OK LETS BEGIN. BTW click on the images to see them better :)

da bloodbath

shaan being so scary like halloween time... ANA FUCKING DOWN LIKE STRAIGHT AWAY due to famed non-binary lesbian ally nicolas cage dracula in the movie renfield 2023... papa pavel and baby emilio working together ahh so cutes.. ram said im NOT starving in here. dee plans to FIGHT. everyone else gets the hell out of there

I FUCKING STRANGLED ISA TO DEATH ARE YOU KIDDING ME? ann doing everyone a favor and scaring that mole out of here.. aviv and cassis working together awww so friendlys. Someone gave proxy bombs which is very scary dont trust him with those his icon is the joker for a reason

day one and fallen tributes

dee and pavel each get stuff from one of numerous stans worldwide. mia sneaks up on mr. flow3 while hes busy writing dracula flow 4.. mr cage dracula and my friend olive feeling adventurous. mariam gets craftyyy and ellie wellie is homesick for equestria.. scott is a feminist as expected and scare-ah lives to see another day

cassis doing some tom and jerry stuff to accy OKAYY.. carolines mole uses its connections to caroline polachek proper (its attached to her face -_-) to get UNFAIR support from a stan. Nobody is surprised. BIGENDER TEAMUP from me and shaan.. I dont know how xe can bear to be around me after i STRANGLED ISA. TO DEATH. The oomfs are going hunting.. and then proxy takes my son hunting. I SURE HOPE NOTHING HAPPENS TO MY SON. & we mourn the loss of two souls. gone too soon.. gone too soon

night one

this broke my heart the fact that emilio is having trouble sleeping like EMILIOOO ): I LOVE YOU.. max doing everyone a favor by killing carolines mole BUT with the INCREDIBLY tragic loss of ELLIEEE.. mia and proxy chilling.. vi being an incredible chef and resourceful at that. is anyone surprised (smiles beautifully). the INSANE triple combo death of two incredible gay men and a beautiful and insane bigender. TRAGIC TRAGIC SHIT? Pavel spares the life of mr. flow3. Cassis has a little nap in a tree.. mariam having a mariam moment and ram REFUSING to allow it. mariam LIVES. ann like vi is very skilled in the kitchen and everyone claps and smiles. Me and that FUCKING spoon seem to have hit it off

day two and fallen tributes

emilio, accy & cassis are feeling adventurous asf.. me + olive + ram + sarah decide its time for food innit. AVIV PAVEL DEE AND MIA DIE. JUST LIKE THAT? THEY JUST DIE. THEY JSUT DIED? LIKE THAT. THEYRE DEAD NOW. LIKE BYE EVERYONE THEYRE JUST DEAD? i will mourn them. mariam and max are IN. THE TRENCHES. watch out please.. proxy and mr. flow3 are getting their battle tactics in

Rest in peace to these fucking legends. We lost so many in ONE FUCKING ROUND. so many incredible individuals just gone like that. Greyed out pavel kitten and slay sister callie is making me scream laughing. Scoot and paddington greyed out is like who are these two little scamps. Good lord. GOOD LORD.

night two

Ram is sick what the hell when did that happen. IM IN TEARS OVER MARIAM BEGGING ANOTHER PERSON TO KILL HER. LIKE GIRL I KNOW ITS THE HUNGER GAMES BUT IM IN TEARS RIGHT NOW CAN YOU STOP? & LIKE ASKING MY SON TOO?? trenches. cassis sabotages THE SAD FROWNER scare-ah (maybe its for the best..) A spoon climbs a tree. i would love to see that. mr flow3 and ann also climb trees.. Olive is so focking cold. Dogboy bonding.. theyre giving proxy more fucking explosives i swear to g-d. OK accy looking at the night sky did make me a bit emotional because like he IS an alien.. is he homesick too? im so sorry. they took your ufo away from you to put you in these sick and twisted games..

TO BE CONTINUED..

[lady-stardust-incarnate]

Just finished watching the red white and royal blue movie, here are my immediate thoughts:

1. Omg this movie actually made me so emotional, I didn't expect to cry, I don't cry at movies much but this one, for many reasons, really made me feel a lot of things. I can already tell it will be a huge comfort movie for me going forward and this is simply because of the incredible story that Casey Mcquinston created, the directing of Matthew Lopez, and the acting of Taylor Zakhar Perez, Nicolas Galitzine and many more. (If ANYONE wants to say they have no chemistry I will fight you)

2. The way that the relationship between Henry and Alex is shown is incredibly well conveyed and in a way which could be realistic. We see that sweet sweet enemies to lovers but even after they get together it continues to develop and their connection grows stronger into a special bond which we see at the end of the movie (no not the post credit scene, that was a lil silly, nice touch though). Also going off on a slight tangent here, one of my main complaints about heartstopper season 2 was that Nick and Charlie are always kissing/making out, I was worried that this would also be the case for rwrb, but it definately wasn't. I read so many articles on how the intimacy coordinator directed the two actors and how much they themselves researched into the role to really deliver their best performences. It definately paid off. I felt that there was a really nice balance between the really intimate scenes which we see a lot of in the book and sweet tender moments where they really show that these two characters really love each other and aren't just super horny.

3. The sets and the way they filmed the whole thing. yes. The main one I want to comment on is the iconic cake scene, which as I said, I read a lot of interviews, and from those I know that Matthew Lopez had a vision for this scene which he worked really hard to get perfect, and it had a really good turnout (I know I already mentioned it but I love the post credit scene so much). One of my favourite things was Matthew Lopez revealing that the birds eye shot of cake falling onto Alex and Henry was him and another crew member dumping cake into them, this isn't that relevant to my thoughts but I just found that detail hilarious as Lopez said it was a "good way to let off steam." Other than that scene, which for me was a very important part of the film, I don't really know much about the technical side of a production like this, but as a viewer it all came together nicely and the sets were nice.

4. A reason I really connect with this film is the fact that I am a queer teenager who has learned to accept themself, gone through the coming out process (somewhat, we don't talk about extended family). I absolutely love the positive representation that this movie gives to the queer community. For people who have not read the book, it is an incredible story, and for a lot of people it shows for the first time in media that LGBTQ+ people can have their happy ending, it won't be easy to get there but it is worth it in the end. While in reality we see this with queer couples a lot, the community has had to fight for their rights and are still in that process, in countries where it is legal it is still very common to be judged, attacked and even killed for your self expression. So for me this was a very fresh (even though I read the book) story for the community, to show that the battles are worth fighting for your happiness. As I touched on before, I think a reason that this works so well is that the characters are so relatable to the average viewer, despite their positions. The are made to be comedic and actually have banter like you'd expect, it's not uptight and only about the romance and spicy scenes. This is really comforting to so many people out there and it feels very appropriate with the world we live in now. I would say my favourite scene in the entire film was the v&a scene, it's so cute I don't know how else to put it, literally a romance dream. Sorry if that was my worst tangent yet, you can tell I'm passionate on the subject.

5. I just wanted to mention some of the other characters. Like a lot of people I was really disappointed to find out that characters such as June and Liam would not be in the movie, however I think this is made up for by the great portrayal of other characters, my favourite being Nora who, let's be real, is not only Alex and Henry's number 1 shipper, but also just gives the best advice. Everyone in this movie genuinely gave such a great performence and I can only thank the entire team for giving us the adaptation that the book deserves.

6. I'm giving the spicy scenes their own point to mainly say that they aren't even that spicy, I personally don't even see why this film was given an r rating and I believe, as many others have said, that if this film was a straight romcom then it wouldn't be given that rating. Yes you see them with clothes off, there's no dick, you only actually see them having sex once, the others are mainly foreplay, really nothing that explicit.

7. I thought I would also dedicate a point to the travesty that is certain quotes from the book that were not included, "you obtuse fucking asshole." "fucking eyelashes." and "Remus John Lupin is gay as the day is long." (ok they probably couldn't get copyright permission to add that one) "I'm gonna take your pants off now... yes good carry on." "for fucks sake man you just had my dick in your mouth, you can kiss me goodnight." and "what in the rich white people sex dungeon." I know that they probably didn't want the script to be a direct copy of this book but some of these quotes would've been nice, also I like that they atleast mentioned the PowerPoint, despite not having the actual PowerPoint.

I hope you enjoyed my overly formal review/thoughts on the rwrb movie which slowly got more deranged in the hour that I was writing this, I began writing this around 3:20am just after I finished the movie, and it's safe to say, I won't be coming back to this to correct any spelling or punctuation mistakes. Overall I love the film, as typical as it is for a romcom, I love the characters and I really like what they were able to do in the 2 hours of the film. Obviously it's never going to be a perfect adaptation but I loved every second of it nonetheless. It's cheesy, it's romantic, but that's what gives it it's charm and makes me love it so much. I'll be hoping for a series to futher explore the story but that'll probably stay in my delusions.

It is now 4:20am, goodnight (I'm not going to sleep, I'm just not being formal anymore)

[hellcatinnc]

Piofiore Fated Memories - Nicola Francesca Review

Includes Spoilers...

I was going to write this with all the guys from Piofiore but I just can't do it there is so much for me to say and share pics that I'm sure tumblr will block me using too many pics so going to do each guy from there as separate reviews as I do their route. So far I only did Nicola and I only plan to do the good routes because I know the bad routes are super dark.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This man grabbed my attention from the moment he first winked I have such a thing for flirty guys so "Hello Nicola" my journey I was ready to begin with this beautiful green eyed sexy man. He isn't as flirty as I'm used to but there is something so attractive in how he caries himself and how he talks to Lili. You can tell he cares so much about Dante and has been there for him since they were little this is so honorable of him and shows true loyalty.

His genuine need to protect Lili from the start is so sweet and gentle you can't help but love this man. He talks about being part of the mafia and don't get me wrong he has a rough side but I think he starts falling for Lili even before he realizes it. He lets his walls down so fast its not hard to see how they are so connected and the fact they have in common not the best childhood.

He gets jealous easily but I think thats because Lili is the first person who has come into his life that could truly be his and I think he is scared he could lose that.

He goes out of his way to try to give Dante his life and get him out of the mafia and yes he betrays them which I really am glad they clear up in the end because he really did everything for Dante. That being said there was a strong bond between them that even Dante wanted Nicola to go to her when she was in danger. There was alot of ups and downs between these 2 but over everything he chose Lili even before his own life.

The way he tenderly touches her is breath taking to watch. For a man who spends his life killing people the way he holds her the way he touches her is so sweet makes your heart melt watching how he interacts with her.

The moment he gave in and kissed her the first time was like magic you felt yourself rooting them on then when he does this it was like awww moment. He had never wanted for anything or anyone besides to take care of Dante so when she was willing to give her life to save his he lost it. The battle he had been fighting to not hear her say she loves him and to not feel her touch his walls instantly crashed and she had his heart from there on out.

He was so protective and the fact he was scared to leave her behind tells so much volume about his character and how genuine deep down he is everything else is for show to scare people as he needs to. The moment he gave in to his pleasure with her he couldn't get enough. This man is one of them insatiable men trying to keep their sex drive fed is going to be a task but I'm sure she will enjoy every moment. Then the moment he confesses he is in love with her I had tears in my eyes I was so happy.

Then there is the one other that was so sexy in the short story area after when he says "Good Girl" I melted...

The fight that ended it all he was even sexy when he made it clear to Roberto the shitty psycho cop that she was his. Of course jealous motherfucker couldn't handle it and when he tried to hurt Lili Nicola lost it and shot him cold blooded no thoughts just knew he wanted him dead more than any other. His love for Lili and Dante will be the reason he will kill someone with no remorse. That being said its one thing I love about him because honestly there are a few people close in my life and I would do anything to protect them no matter what. This is what you call a loyal man and that makes him already one of my favorites. Will he be my number one favorite for this game only time will tell but he does have a good happy ending route.

UPDATED REVIEW OF OTHER ROUTES CAN BE FOUND HERE!

[petalsmooth]

Bit annoyed part 1 and 2 are combined on netflix now. I'd like to see what the streams would be between Part one and Part two. Actually, would like to see the numbers of 7 and 8 or vs 5 and 6.

A part of me for Nicola and Luke's sakes would like similar numbers to part one but another part of me wants it to be far lower to send a message. In the end I dunno. I do know it didn't jump to number 1 near as fast as Part 1 did. They've combined both parts now but I definitely think that was due to poor word of mouth initially that it took most of the day to finally reach #1 in the U.S.

There is something to be said for controversy generating attention and everyone watching just to see what people are arguing or crying about but also there are people who aren't near as emotionally connected and just want content. So even if initially panned could rise over time or maybe less binge watching and more steady viewership lasting longer. At this point it's anyone's guess but netflix who is seeing the numbers.

The only thing I know is that online people are not nearly as satisfied as were part 2. Since this was supposed to be my comfort junk food emotional show, leaning against season 4. Bad move to bill the season as a rom com to recruit fans then pedal part 2. False advertising that probably has played a role in the disappointment. should never oversell something and not deliver if you want people to trust you with further seasons. I now believe nothing they say when it comes to spoilers. It's not even the actors I've mad at either. I DO believe they thought some scenes were there, that were removed. People can call conspiracy all they like but the show released several stills that never made it into the show. Things were cut and I'd lay some of what was cut is what the actors were promoting in their interviews. The least the show could have done was let the actors in on the changes so they weren't selling something no longer there.

[accustiv]

@vanishinq sent: ❛ i don’t feel like i’m even here. ❜

casper still looked terrible. even without the heat half-suffocating him, his infection was firmly in control, and until his fever broke, i knew there wouldn’t be much anyone could do to help. the only saving grace, unfortunately, was that with him being so ill, bishop hadn’t pried too much into his background. oh, he’d asked me, questioned me again and again about ‘nicolas’; if i knew his last name (mccain), if i knew his date of birth (may, i think? i can’t remember, year? no clue), why he was staying there alone, why i had stepped in, was i sure there was no id - but casper had been left mainly alone, and i knew we were both grateful, because he was barely able to keep track of what was going on, let alone learn a whole new alias.

“ i know, ” i said, quietly, from where i sat next to him on the bed in agent bishop’s spare room, running my fingers through his hair, gently. i didn’t want him there, and bishop certainly didn’t want me poking around his home every day, but there had been no other choice. “ when you’re better, we’ll go somewhere safe, i promise. ” as if i had any choice, as if it wasn’t an empty promise, the tracker on my ankle seemed to get heavier as it mocked me. “ you’re going to be okay, nico. ” i couldn’t use his name here, i didn’t even dare to risk a petname, afraid the connection would be drawn and nico would become alex, and everything would be over. besides, it helped to remind him.

he was starting to get better. getting away from the sweltering heat of the shop – even my best efforts with goodwill curtains and a mini portable ac unit hadn’t been enough – had helped initially, before the withdrawals had hit. he was in the last stages now, but the infection in his wound was tenacious, and i still arrived every day terrified of hal telling me that ‘nicolas said something very interesting last night’. i glanced, nervously, at the door that didn’t lock, and then leaned in, pressing a gentle, kiss to his forehead - if he’d realised who’s house he was really in, he hadn’t had the desire or ability to confront me about it, and i was savouring the delay in how uncomfortable it would be when he finally called me every name i dreaded. “ but you’re here, i promise, and so am i. it’s going to be okay. ”

there was a sound outside the door, and i straightened up, hesitating, before sliding off the bed just as the door swung open. my hand slipping from his hair to my side just as agent bishop made eye contact with me.

[portaux-blog]

hey everyone ! i’m cerise.

i’ll probably start posting / replying tomorrow, when i’m a little less exhausted, since today was busy & stressful. i’m really excited to roleplay with you all soon !

[imthebadguyyy]

You're All Mine

Pairing - Lewis Hamilton x Reader

Fandom - F1

Summary - Things get slightly out of hand at a party where you decide to act up, and Lewis shows you just exactly who you belong to. P.S - He makes you wear that damn jacket.

Warnings - smut, swearing, possessiveness (brought to you by the fashion king that is Sir Lewis Hamilton, because that jacket did things okay?

A/N- OC (Thomas) has nothing to do with any of Lewis's friends in real life.

Also shoutout to @grandestrategia and @lights-out-in-monaco for helping me 💙

✯⌃⌄☼♥︎

iThrowing a party to get together was always a fun idea to get the chance to socialize, meet new people, dance, get drunk and spend quality time with your friends and family. But throwing a party after three back to back race weeks was not really a great idea, mainly because it meant your boyfriend groaning and moaning about how he didn't want to spend time with anyone else but you. That was exactly what was happening at present, as you swiped a tube of crimson lipstick across your lips, while Lewis sat on the bed, in a black shirt and his purple customised jacket, with his arms crossed across his chest, reminding you of a toddler who was told to go to bed early.

"I don't get why you had to throw a party today, of all times" he grumbled for what felt like the hundredth time that day. "Okay baby, I love you, I really do, but I swear, if you say that one more time I will strangle you" you replied, setting the lipstick back down, and reaching for a bottle of perfume on your dressing table. "I'm just saying, I feel like spending time with you now, and yes, I love that you decided to call my friends and family over, but I kinda just wanted to have some you and me time" he said, eyes following your movements as you sprayed the perfume behind your ears, on your wrists, and lightly over your body, "You'll have me to yourself from the moment they leave, till you have to fly for your race again. And I promise, we can do whatever you want" you said, reaching up to smooth your hair. Far too preoccupied with fixing the flyaway strands of hair, you didn't notice him standing up and standing right behind you. "Whatever I want hmm? I know exactly what I want baby. But I just can't get it right now. You know why? Because I want to bend you over and take you right here, right now. But because you decided to throw a party instead of spending time together, you'll have to wait a little longer than necessary to have my head in between your thighs, my fingers in you, and my cock in your cunt. And guess whose fault it is? Yours, my darling. It's your fault" he growled in your ear, smirking when a soft moan slipped past your lips.

"You'd like that, wouldn't you? For me to bend you over and take you here? When our guests could be here at any minute?" he continued, lips resting just near the outer shell of your ear. You couldn't even answer, feeling the arousal grow in between your thighs, as your heartbeat seemed to slow down for just a second, before it seemed to hammer against your chest almost as if it wanted to just burst out of your chest. "Tell me darling. Would you like that?" "Ye-" your reply was cut off by the sound of the doorbell ringing, signalling the arrival of one of your guests. "Saved by the bell, hmm? You didn't have to answer. But I promise baby, when they're gone, I'm gonna make you scream my name so loud, if our neighbours aren't on a first name basis with us tomorrow, I'll be very, very surprised. And leaving you a aroused, horny mess, he went down to open the door.

✯⌃⌄☼♥︎

About half an hour later, the party was in full swing. You had invited some of your friends and some family members, and turning to look over your shoulder, you saw Lewis chatting with his dad and Nicolas, a glass of wine in his hand as he laughed at something his brother told him. Smiling, you turned back, to see one of Lewis's friends making his way over to you, two glasses of champagne in his hand. You enjoyed mingling with his friends, and you had met Neymar Jr, Odell Beckham Junior, and other really awesome people. Smiling at Thomas, who was one of Lewis's newer friends, you accepted the glass, your third glass of champagne and your fifth drink all together, hovering between the lines of tipsy and drunk.

Thomas, (the friend, idk I just made him up) offered you a glass of champagne, and you gladly took a sip, enjoying the buzz as the alcohol ran through your veins, filling you with a calm happiness. Maybe it was the alcohol in your veins and the promise of a really good time that made you decide to push Lewis's buttons just a little bit, to ensure that you were really in for it. Giggling at a joke his friend made, you threw your head back laughing, letting your hand rest on Thomas's shoulder, before letting it move to your hair, twirling a strand of hair around your finger, teeth sinking softly down onto your lower lip.

From where he was standing, Lewis looked over to see where you were, his grip on his glass tightening when he saw you laugh and rest your hand on his friend's shoulder. His eyes darkening when he saw you twirl a strand of hair around your finger, and bite your lip softly, knowing all too well what you were doing. It was working. As you giggled again, tilting your head back laughing, and nodding a quick 'I'll be back soon', to his dad, he walked towards the both of you, his eyes fixed on the way you kept twirling your hair around your fingers.

"Hi baby. You having a fun time?" he asked you, standing next to you and wrapping an arm around your waist. "Yeah I am! Are you having fun?" you replied, letting your head droop onto his shoulder. "Yeah I am my love, thank you so much for planning it" he murmured in your ear, ignoring the fact that his friend was standing right in from of him, probably getting a free show. His hands splayed out on the leathery material of your black skirt, enjoying the coolness of the material and the feel of a section of your skin against his palms. The black outfit you had put on was a black leather top and skirt, that clung onto your body like a vice, as he moved his hand to the back of your skirt, moving so Thomas couldn't see what he was doing.

"And what about you Thomas, are you having a good time?" you asked the man, feeling Lewis tense up behind you. "Yup I am! Thanks so much for inviting us all, its a great party" he replied, flashing the both of you a smile. "We're glad you're having fun" Lewis replied, his hand moving to your ass, squeezing ever so discreetly. "Yup I know! Great to see you too, man! Your last races have been great, you deserve a break" Thomas kept talking, blissfully unaware of how you were squirming, your arousal pooling in between your thighs as he ran his fingers up your thighs, in between your underwear and the skirt. He moved his body so the lower half of your body was not visible to anyone else.

Pressing your lips together to keep a sound from escaping, you tried your hardest to hold yourself together, but it was damn hard when you could begin to feel the liquid threatening to run down your thighs and make a mess in front of everyone. "Moving your hand to the back to squeeze his thigh, silently begging him to just take you to the bedroom and fuck you senseless. Feeling your desperation, Lewis smirked softly, before turning to Thomas. "If you don't mind Thomas, I think I left my phone in the bedroom, I'll just go get it" "Yeah sure" Thomas replied, as you turned and made your way up the stairs to the master bedroom. But before you could go and sit on the bed, a pair of arms grabbed you around your waist, and pulled you into the master bathroom that was connected to your room.

Lewis turned your body around, the rough movement taking your breath away, before he crashed his lips down onto yours, his hands sliding down to your as again, squeezing hard, causing a moan to slip out your lips, your arms tightening around his neck. "I saw you trying to rile me up baby. All giggly and flirty, and that whole fiasco with you messing with your hair, hmm? Only I can pull your hair, and only I can tug on it. You like it when I do that, don't you? When I tug your hair, and your head falls back, and those sounds slip out of your lips and I can see how much you like it" The moan that slipped past your lips went straight to his cock, hardening under his pants.

"Words baby, words. Do you like it?" he asked, his fingers running along the waistband of your leather skirt, tugging the skirt down your legs. "I do, I really do! please, please do something, I need you so bad" you whined, your hands unbuttoning the buttons on his shirt, and tugging his purple jacket down his shoulders. "Patience my baby. Good things take time. So desperate for it, I can see your wetness dripping, but you aren't getting off that easily after that stunt you pulled. But I promised you that I'd give you a good time, and I always keep my promises" Another desperate whimper left your lips, and you dragged the jacket down his torso, letting it drop to the floor.

"No no no. I want you to put that on. Or even better..." he mumbled finishing his sentence halfway, picking up the jacket from the floor. He pushed you down on the bed, grabbing your wrists in his hands, before pushing you back up to the headboard. Then he took the jacket up to your hands, tying one side to the headboard of the King sized bed, and the other end around your hands. "There we go, all tied up and gorgeous for me. Do your wrists burn with my name baby? Do you like how my name is tied onto your skin?" he asked, eyeing how the 'HAMILTON' part of the jacket was tied around your wrist. "I bet you like it don't you? That stinging sensation? I cannot wait to taste you my love, all wet and dripping for me" he continued, moving down to press his lips to your neck. He pushed his tongue out onto your skin, sucking the spot before licking over the spot repeatedly, letting his teeth sink onto a pulse point, shifting in his pants when his cock twitched at the moan that fell from your lips.

He ventured lower and lower, till he reached your chest, taking your nipple into his mouth, licking the sensitive nub, letting his teeth graze your areola. Above him, you were struggling against your bonds, wrists straining against their restraints., desperate to touch him, to feel his skin and his glorious muscles under your hands, but you couldn't, because your hands were bound, literally, "Oh my god please Lew, please let me touch you, please I need to touch you baby" "Not yet princess. You were a bad girl, and bad girls get punished my love. I'm not going to let you even graze my hand, if you don't shut that pretty little mouth of yours, before I do it for you" he growled back, feeling his own arousal grow as you whimpered again. He let his fingers fondle your other nipple, tweaking and pulling before taking it into his mouth too, as you felt the wetness run down your leg, soaking into the bedsheet.

Moaning again, you pressed your thighs together, desperate for some friction to relieve you of the throbbing pain in your core, the amount of arousal you were feeling making you feel like you were drowning in some sort of strong sea current, as Lewis's lips travelled lower, and his breath fanned over your throbbing cunt. "I can't wait to taste you my love" and with that he dived in, giving you almost no time to adjust, as he fucked you with his tongue, and his fingers toyed with your clit, sending you towards your high, before biting the sensitive bud softly "You taste like fucking candy love" "Oh fuck fuck fuck Lewis, I'm gonna -" you managed to gasp out as the gasp turned into scream of frustration when he pulled away. "What the fuck? Why'd you do that?!" you gasped out, chest rising and falling rapidly.

"Because like I told you, bad girls get punished" he replied, shoving his pants down his legs, before leaning over and grabbing a condom, pulling his calvin keins down his thighs, as his cock sprang free, smirking when you moaned at the sight, "Taking a good look baby?" he asked, crawling over to you. "You're just really gorgeous" you replied, straining against the jacket. "I know" he replied, pushing his rings off of his fingers. "No don't. Keep on em. I like em" you said, earning a smirk from the man again. "Want me to fuck you with my rings on? I'd love to" he said, watching as you squirmed again.

"Baby please let me touch you, I want to touch you so bad, please!" you practically begged, tears of frustration filling your eyes. "No baby. I'm going to fuck you with your hands tied and I'm going to mark you up" he replied, sliding the condom on and leaning over you, positioning his cock at your entrance. "Ready baby?" he asked,smiling a little as you nodded, the both of you moaning in sync when he pushed into you, your walls clenching onto his cock, as he settled into you, moaning when he sunk into you bit by bit. He gave you a few seconds to adjust, before he pulled out, making you let out half a moan and look at him questioningly, before he slammed back into you. You weren't expecting that, and a strangled scream left your lips when he filled you to the hilt, before bottoming out in you, hips snapping repeatedly into you, his cock moving inside you.

You moans and groans echoed off the walls, as your hands burned, the desperation in you threatening to drown you again. "oh my god, you feel so good, you fuck me so good, now baby please let me touch you!" you practically screamed, your voice catching when he angled his thrusts so the tip hit your g spot repeatedly. "Okay my love, you deserve it now. My baby desreves to touch me now, doesn't she?" "Yes please, especially when you fuck me this good, almost too good to be true" you stammered out clenching down on his cock again, feeling the slight stutter of his hips as you did. Lewis reached up to untie you, letting the jacket fall to the floor, and moaning when your hands dug into his back, scratching down his back, as he hissed at the feeling, loving the feeling of your nails raking down his back. "Fuck baby, do that again" he growled. "Only if you choke me" you moaned back, feeling him stutter again, and let out a moan.

His eyes widened, not completely used to you being so bold, but loving the wild side you let out. He reached up, wrapping his hand around your neck and squeezing a little, groaning when you let out a choked moan. "Harder" you moaned, feeling his cock twitch in you. "Oh fucking hell baby, I didn't know you liked it rough" he moaned, tightening his grip on your neck, cutting the air off ever so softly, snapping his hips into you faster, as your nails raked down your back even harder, leaving marks that would definitely hurt the next morning.

"That feels so good, oh my god, I love you so much" you gasped out wrapping your hand around his, causing him to squeeze a little harder. "Oh fuck, I'm gonna cum my love" Lewis moaned, groaning when you moved your hips thrusting up to meet his thrusts. 'Oh fuck" Lewis groaned, before releasing into you ,his finger reaching down to rub your clit repeatedly. Your moans echoed in the room, as he pinched your clit, as you squirted all over his cock.

Panting, Lewis sunk down next to you, chest rising and falling. "That was so good" you gasped out, resting your head on his chest. "Was that too much? Did I hurt you?" he asked, kissing your forehead. "No no I loved it. You should do that more often" you mumbled. Just as Lewis leaned in to kiss you, there was a knock at the door, making the both of you jump apart. "Are the both of you done yet?" a voice asked, making you blush. "Oh my god. We forgot about the guests!" you gasped, making Lewis laugh, as he kissed you softly. "I know which one I'd rather do again" he mumbled, laughing when you kissed him back. "Don't go for round two, atleast let us leave first!" the voice yelled again, as Lewis stood up from the bed to get dressed.

"Oh and by the way, you're wearing that jacket downstairs"

[luckyqueenreign]

I am trying to finish the Suresh route, but it's really trying. I am just throw by Suresh's non actions towards Nicholas/Johnny when they started spewing all the lies and bs about the MC. He was with the MC for over a year, why didn't he say anything or defend her? Then with the SMP challenge. Why would he not only choose Gabi to kiss and kiss her in a way he used to hold the MC to kiss her knowing good and well - the MC would have to watch that. To me that is what whole new level of cruelty. Then he chooses to marry Meerat knowing good and well she is a bitch to the MC and has been bullying her rentlessly. I think those are honestly the final 3 things that will seal Suresh's fate with my MC. My MC has reached her limit and is climbing out of the clown car

I understand that according to Eddie that Suresh has some "grand plan" to get the MC back, but he's basically ignored the MC since he's returned from Casa Amor. Not only that, but he's found the time to chat with Gabi on more than one occasion since returning from Casa Amor.

People keep thinking that Finn's declaration will jolt Suresh into action. If that's the case, my MC is not interested. Because if it takes Finn's public declaration of his feelings for the MC to jump start Suresh then it's not worth it. If he does that my MC will feel like Suresh is only making an effort because he doesn't want the MC to be with Finn. If he truly wanted the MC back, he would have have defended the MC against Nicholas'/Johnny's accusations after Never Have I Ever; he would not have chosen Gabi and Meerat in the SMP Challenge; and he would have publicly declared his feelings before Finn did. Suresh's actions do not match those of someone who loves the MC and would do anything to win her back.

When it comes to this season, I am honestly at a loss. All I know is that consistency is not in Fusebox's vocabulary when it comes to this season.

I would love for any insights, thoughts, or opinions you have.

babe you're not looking at this from Suresh's POV! When you add up his actions for the season, not just the past few weeks, you see the build up and you see exactly why he's not defending MC with Nicolas/Johnny. For one, when he comes into the villa he's constantly being attacked by the other islanders, including MC for cheating. It's a reoccurring theme for him, but even still he tells her he's going to fight for her. MC never gives Suresh an inch. So much so that he actually thinks maybe she would be happier with someone else. Her and Alfie get on so well, maybe I'll just let them give it a go. But the SECOND they're together he can't handle it. And it's not because Suresh is threatened by Alfie, he's so in love with MC he hates seeing her with anyone else. So much so that he flirts with her and eventually bares his soul to her. He becomes more vulnerable than he's ever been in the villa. And he puts the decision in MC's hands, he puts the ball in her court. And obviously they go away to casa. But here's the thing, MC had time that night to make up her mind, and he knows that. She went around and had a chat with Finn, with the girls, there was plenty of time for her to just say "hey I want you too". So he goes to casa amor with this in mind. He's obvi devastated so he cracks on to Lulu. And as much as he tries to move on from MC, he just cant. There's no spark with Lulu, and he tells Eddie that he's just going to use Lulu to get his spot back in the villa and win MC back. But then he walks in and GABI is there. He knows she's been in the villa with MC, possibly feeding her lies and upsetting MC. MC is vv disappointed in him, calls him a cheat, kicks off and then says she wants a "new beginning" in her recoupling speech with Nicolas/Johnny. In Suresh's mind he has no idea what their connection is or isn't, all he hears is that MC wants something new. not him. In his mind MC is over him. She wants nothing to do with him anymore. Which is why he never pulls her for a conversation after Casa. It's why he avoids her gaze. And even when Nicolas/Johnny was starting that drama around MC, you'll notice that the time that Suresh does speak up was when he thought she was talking shit about him. Because he cares so much about what MC has to say about him. Kissing Gabi in SMP...was a choice. tbh I dont have the best explanation for this and at the end of the day, he kissed her bc he wanted to. But Meera I think makes absolute sense. Her proposal was a throw away proposal. Suresh wouldnt risk giving it to MC and be vulnerable again. He's done it before to humiliating consequences. In his mind the ball is in MCs court if she wants to tell him how she feels. If he gave it to Kat / Dana it might look like he was grafting. He didnt want to give it to anyone of actual importance. Thats why Meera was perfect. He barely has spoken more than three words to this girl. He doesn't know her. But also when Gabi does propose to him, he looks at MC!!! even in her moments he's still looking at MC. This man is HURTING...MC hasn't given him ANY reassurance, ANY sign that she might possibly want him back. And we don't have a Chelsea this year that will run and tell him for us 😭.

Another thing about SMP...everything done was made to prop up Finn and make him look like a viable LI. No Suresh/Alfie girly would even consider Finn if we'd gotten proposals from Suresh/Alfie. Thats why they did the same thing on the Alfie route and made him kiss Kat. And if you're on his route, Kat even says you've gotten better at kissing or something like that...FUCKING ANNOYING TBH. I'd be fuming if I were on that route. We're meant to hate Suresh/Alfie for their SMP choices.

[rainydayotomes]

Hii! Can I ask wedding and family hcs for the Piofiore boys? Like, if they are the type to have a marriage, and if yes how it would be, and maybe if they would start a family and how many kids?? If it's too much just the wedding is okay <3 thank you for your great and hard work! I really like your writing!<3<3

Aww, thank you so much! It makes me so happy to hear that! <3

Dante

You can bet your ass you're having a wedding

You want it, he wants it, his family needs it

He really does need to make it a point that he is marrying, and able to carry on the Falzone bloodline

But on the other hand, he genuinely does want to marry you

It's extremely formal, elegant, expensive.... The entire Falzone family is invited! And your friends get to come too! (Although of course, some may be a bit hesitant to do so...)

It's a moderate size wedding, in terms of how many people are there

According to an Italian wedding website, you're probably going to be staying the night before the wedding at the church, where the nuns and your friends are all going to be fussing over you!

This wedding is definitely as traditional as it gets, you know... with the Falzone's need to keep their bloodline pure, as well as their deep connections to Italy and it's culture

You're going to be doing the traditional wedding thing too- wearing something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue

Dante doesn't see you in your dress, or even see the dress before the wedding. Your dress is a beautifully handmade one made by the sisters at the church

Expect to see Emilio there as well, off to the side of the crowd sitting amongst the pews. He smiles brightly at your union!

As for a family, it's not an option as to whether or not you're having kids

Dante needs to have kids to carry on the bloodline, however.... he also just really wants to be able to have a family with you

You'd probably end up with two, who'd be as close as Dante and Nicola are!

Nicola

Compared to Dante's wedding, Nicola would definitely have a much smaller wedding

It's still a beautiful, elegant wedding, but without nearly as much people

Nicola was there with you when you picked out your wedding dress- he wanted to help you pick one and insisted on coming along!

The wedding isn't as strict about tradition as Dante's, and it only has your closest friends in attendance

The wedding doesn't even take place in a church- instead, it takes place in a beautiful meadow just outside of Burlone

You can bet that you're going to have a uh... fun night when you get back home with your lover... ;)

As for family... well, Nicola doesn't really force children on you at all. He would love to father your children, of course, and he does want some! Buuuut he isn't opposed to not having any either

If you do have kids, it'll most likely just be one. He wants a daughter!

Yang

Yang.... getting married?

Literally anyone who knows this man thinks thats a weird ass sentence

Getting married is definitely not on his list of things he ever thinks about

The only time he may even give it a passing thought is if you mention it

If you somehow- and I mean somehow- manage to convince Yang of all people to marry you.... (which honestly, isn't as hard as you may think) then you better not expect much of anything

Like at all

He gets the marriage contract, he signs it, and thats it

Thats your marriage

And he only does that if you say you really do want such a thing... but lets be honest, you probably aren't thinking of "settling down with Yang" if you're into him.... thats just not a thing anyone ever thinks about

As for family.... it's gonna be a once in a lifetime chance if he even gives it a passing thought as well

It's gonna be on a whim that he approaches you and says "hey, lets have a kid"

And this would only happen after the both of you finally mostly detach from any mafia relations and settle in one location where you plan to stay

Yang doesn't want any children getting in the way, and he would most likely find them annoying until he doesn't have anything to do anymore (aka, not having anything he has to do as part of the mafia)

This is also the only time where you might be able to convince him to have a wedding ceremony

You're gonna have to really want it though

Yang does like to treat you to things, even if he says he's just doing it cause he wants to in that moment... he does like making you happy and spoiling you no matter the occasion

So if you really do want a wedding ceremony, you may just get one

But it's gonna be tiny, and you're definitely not gonna have many attending

But hey, he buys you a beautiful wedding dress! I'm talking like a SUPER expensive, beautifully made dress

...Yang doesn't look too bad in a suit either....

If you do ever have kids with Yang, it's only gonna be one, and honestly I have absolutely no clue what you could expect from this kid.... being a child of not only you, but Yang as well....

Orlok

The wedding is small, humble, and traditional!

Held in the church you two live at in Rome

Emelio is definitely in attendance, and is quite happy to oversee your union

There's only a few people in attendace, but you and Orlok don't really mind too much

It's a quiet wedding, but the day is filled with joy nonetheless

You're most likely going to be waiting a few years before having any kids however

Orlok is still quite young, being only 18 or 19.... and so are you for that matter. There's no rush to have kids so early on

But when you do have them, you can rest assured Orlok would be the best father

And you'd most likely end up with 2 kids!

Gilbert

Gil's wedding is going to be the BIGGEST one out of EVERYONE

Literally

All of Burlone is invited

Even the Falzones are invited

Gil's wedding has some traditions to it... such as the rice throwing afterward, and the "something new something old something borrowed something blue" thing....

But other then that, Gil's wedding is more like a huge party

Literally, there is absolutely no sign of any money saved wherever you look

The Visconti really didn't spare a single dollar for this wedding!

Your dress is flashy, sexy, and hugs your body- Gilbert definitely helped pick it out ;P

As for family.... Gil wants a big one

You better be ready for at least 3 kids.... The look on Gil's face when he sees the little ones running around the Visconti manor is a happiness so bright it could rival the sun

[savagewildnerness]

What does anybody want but to feel a little more free?

I don’t know what’s wrong with my mind today, but I am really struggling to wrangle  my thoughts into something at all coherent, HOWEVER…

As I have been rereading The Vampire Lestat this time, I’ve been noticing, when Gabrielle is first turned that the things Gabrielle desires terrify Lestat and likewise, Lestat’s desires are alien to Gabrielle.  There’s something in the differences between Nicolas and Lestat as well here and it made me think we should look into it all more and see if we can find any deeper meanings?  And so I began to think - what do Lestat, Gabrielle and Nicolas desire, and how to they go about trying to make that their reality?

And to free myself from the impossibility of getting to the root of it all, I present this as a starting point and I’d love to hear your ideas!

Lestat & Gabrielle both desire freedom, but Gabrielle desires freedom from humans and society & all the restrictions of her gender, whereas Lestat desires agency, but he craves love & union & the kind of freedom Gabrielle desires terrifies him! Just as his desires feel trapping to her.

Let’s dive in deeper.  Gabrielle has had to live her whole life restricted by the prison society has imposed on her due to her gender.  A loveless marriage destroying her hope, eight children she couldn’t feel love (or enough love) towards taking from her her body, her self, her freedom… Reading her books, full of knowledge and possibility and everything Gabrielle can never possess due to her gender.  (I maintain the reason she kept Lestat illiterate was envy - she knew Lestat was imaginative and clever and adventurous and she knew that because he was a man, books could be a pathway to actual physical escape in the end for him in a way, sadly they could only ever be an escape in her mind for her.)

When Gabrielle becomes a vampire, she seems to see her human self as dead.  She refers to that Gabrielle as “she” and “her”, not as “me”.  She abandons everything that being was.  This new being has no connection to humans, no responsibility towards them.  No interest anymore in books or society or human matters in any form.  Gabrielle is now free - free from the prison of her gender and free from humans entirely.  The times she gets scared when she is first turned seem to me to be when any thing threatens to trap her - she cannot fully free herself from her gender as her hair keeps re-growing and that’s a horror to her; she is afraid to be closed in and particularly hates being in any place where there are rules imposed by man.  I think she is so terrified being in the church as it feels like a trap she could be caught in too?  She feels no obligation towards any mortals.  She’ll kill you because she wants your shirt.  On the first night of her turning, she breaks into houses, steals a load of expensive clothes… and literally the same night abandons those clothes.  She doesn’t think for a second about the person the clothes belonged to, nor about just discarding them instantly.  She feels no responsibility to anyone she knew as a mortal.  To feel responsible would be a way she was trapped.

Lestat feels utterly responsible all of the time for anyone whose life he’s ever touched.  Lestat tries to frame Gabrielle’s coldness as strength, but it deeply disturbs him and is the antithesis of who he is.  Gabrielle on the other hand, sort of tests Lestat out.  She asks him about his feelings and actions towards others perhaps more deeply than she ever did as a human.  And I think there are a few reasons why she does this.  Yes, she wants to understand him, and to understand if he is different as a vampire to as a human (he’s not, at least in terms of how he thinks and feels.). Also, I am sure Gabrielle knows instantly that she wants to be alone, ultimately.  And she realises very soon too that Lestat cannot be alone.  And so, this awful truth of separation immediately looms over them.  I don’t think Lestat realises it immediately.  But Gabrielle does.

Both Gabrielle and Lestat find beauty in nature.  But as a vampire, Gabrielle wishes to shun humanity, and be with nature - a thing which would be death to Lestat.  And Lestat wishes to be in society as it changes and to love people.  A thing which would be a trap to Gabrielle.

Lestat is concerned with goodness and how he can be good.  If there is no goodness, as Lestat sees it, life is meaningless chaos.  He is interested in both moral goodness and aesthetic goodness.  Lestat’s stance seems to be that there is an innate truth in aesthetic goodness in nature and so too, in art.  For Lestat, aesthetic goodness of art has to to with truth and emotional expression, and moving others.  On the other hand, moral goodness is a human construct  - imposed by society and/or by the individual rather than an innate quality of existence.  But that doesn’t mean moral goodness doesn’t matter to him.  Lestat is particularly interested in his own moral code.  It matters to him a great deal - whether he is following his own moral code, or intentionally railing against it and breaking it.  Lestat is also always seeking connection and love.  He loves people.  He cares about all people he has been connected to and will try to make them happy or keep them protected.  To be around people gives Lestat’s existence meaning.  Lestat can also be quite practical.  He is a doer, so in any situation, if he can act, he will act.  If Lestat is in a scenario where there is no action he can take to solve it, he flounders and becomes trapped in his own mind with the horror, hoping someone else can help free him.

Nicolas is a lot harder to get fully inside the chaos that is his mind, particularly by the end.  So I think it is best to think of Nicolas as a mortal, up until the moment Lestat leaves him in Renaud’s… at which place Nicki is shattered into something else.  Anyway, Nicolas is concerned with justice and harmony.  If there is no justice, as Nicolas sees it, life is meaningless chaos. (I also think there's a sense in which we could equate Nicolas' perception of what justice is to be akin to what he sees as moral goodness - at least, they are linked... which is not the same thing Lestat sees as moral goodness, for Lestat has always instinctively created his own internal moral code.)  How prescient that Nicolas’s Father wanted him to study law - justice!  And it seems to me that in his first time in Paris, Nicolas truly discovered that there *is* no justice so for Nicki, life from then on was indeed meaningless chaos.  Similarly to Lestat - his response was to rail against it.  So he took up the violin.  This gave Nicki happiness, but he could only see it as morally bad as in taking up the violin he was pushing against the harmony of society and the harmony of his family.  If we compare Nicky and Lestat’s views on goodness - to Nicolas to be morally good necessitates sacrifice of the self for the desires of another or a greater scheme.  Nicolas, I think, would believe a personal moral code to be false and so essentially untrue and/or sinful.  To him, a greater moral code from outside of his self is the only way to make sense of existence.  And if he pushes against that for any reason, Nicolas believes he is bad.  Nicolas too is concerned with beauty in art but he believes true beauty in art can only come from perfection.  And he believes his own personal expression is something sinful he does because it all comes from a place where Nicolas pushed against harmony in society, and even emotionally, in his playing, Nicolas gives voice to his despair and his chaos, which are the antithesis of harmony or justice, so must be sinful too.  And I actually think loving Lestat is the only thing that keeps Nicolas slightly tethered.  Nicky probably can’t imagine himself as loveable.  But this creature, who Nicolas perceives as full of light and some miraculous being, loves him and I do think Nicolas would do anything to keep that…. Until... Nicki watches Lestat killed… and then he thinks Lestat actually doesn’t love him.  He thinks Lestat has done some free-masonry secret alchemy thing (how funny - for Magnus WAS indeed an alchemist!) and excluded Nicolas… as Nicolas perceives it because Lestat must perceive him as too lowly, or just he doesn’t love him… and when Lestat then initiates his own MOTHER too, it is further proof this is something for the aristocrats and not for him and that he is not loved and then all there is is the chaos… no justice…. and then a band of monsters abduct and torture him and the chaos becomes CHAOS.

Hmm… I’m not sure where I’m going with everything.  Neither Nicky nor Gabrielle can understand Lestat’s mortal sense of obligation and love towards others.  Why does he try to *be/do good* when he is a monster?  Because that’s what gives Lestat meaning!

I’m trailing off as I’m not too sure how to connect this all… hmmm… HMMMM… Hmmm???

I don’t even know if I am making any sense at all.  I’ve lost confidence in myself…

(Obviously we could add all the other vampires in here too. I'm speaking of these three right now as I'm still rereading the start-mid part of TVL so it is only they three at the moment...)

[fascinatedmiseducated]

Claudia Jessie: ‘What’s the appeal of Bridgerton? It’s a sexy cuddle’

The actor on growing up on a canal boat, her noisy Buddhist chanting and what’s next for her character, Eloise

Sun 20 Mar 2022 09.30 GMT

Claudia Jessie Peyton, 31, was born in Birmingham and raised on a canal boat by her mother. She was home-schooled and has no formal qualifications but was talent-spotted while trying standup and recruited by a local theatre company. Her TV roles include Line of Duty, Doctor Who and Vanity Fair. She plays Eloise, the eponymous family’s second oldest daughter, in the hit Netflix period drama Bridgerton, which returns on Friday.

Where do we find your character Eloise as Bridgerton returns? She’s making her debut on the London social scene. Anyone who’s a fan of the show can probably predict how she responds – with gritted teeth and many an eye roll. Eloise is only 18; I’m 31 and can barely respond to text messages, let alone be presented to the Queen, then ultimately married off. Finding love isn’t even in her top 10 list of desires. She wants autonomy, to earn her own money and make her own choices.

Is she a proto-feminist? Hers is the explicit feminist narrative throughout the piece. It’s skilfully peppered throughout all the characters, with even the boys questioning their roles, but Eloise is the one who’s got a megaphone, shouting: “This is rubbish!”

We see her reading Mary Wollstonecraft in the early episodes. Are you a bookworm too? I’ve always had my head in a book. I’ve just invested in a secondhand Kindle, in fact, because I live on a canal boat and I can’t just keep adding to my book collection or we’d sink.

What were your formative books? One of the first books I remember being given was Little Women by my nan. I read that six times in rapid succession. I’m a member of Extinction Rebellion, so went through a big George Monbiot phase. I also read Japanese authors like Ryu Murakami. In the Miso Soup is the darkest novel I’ve ever read. One chapter gave me palpitations.

Bridgerton became Netflix’s top show in 76 countries. What’s the appeal? It’s not bleak or dark or intense. It’s a bit of a cuddle. A sexy cuddle, mind you, but a cuddle nonetheless.

Will Eloise get her sexy moment? I wonder what that would be like? A sexy-but-funny montage, maybe. It would be cool to see Eloise awaken and get in touch with that side of herself. In season one, she didn’t even know how babies were made.

Eloise is best friends with Penelope Featherington, played by Nicola Coughlan. What’s your relationship like off-screen? Nicola always says it’s the other way around. In Bridgerton, Eloise talks at Penelope a lot of the time; in real life, I’m more introverted and Nicola does most of the chatting. We were the first two people cast. I remember seeing our head shots next to each other on a wall and thinking – “Cool!” – because Nicola’s incredible.

Didn’t Nicola stab you with a parasol during your first scene? Correct, she drew blood. Nicola had heels on and kept falling over. I tried to catch her and the silver spokes of the umbrella went bosh, straight into my hand. I managed to keep it away from my costume but bloodied my white glove. It was a blood oath. That’s why we’re so close now.

What do you make of Eloise’s big queer fanbase? I can see why she connects with people, because she’s one of a kind within the show. She’s quite modern, so closer to the audience in attitude and spirit. It’s beautiful that the queer community identify with her. But I don’t experience a lot of the love because I’m not on social media.

Why not? It’s my Kate Bush inclinations to be slightly reclusive. When I figured out I wanted to act, that became my mission. But there are parts of the industry that don’t chime with my natural disposition. In order to maintain happiness, I have to eliminate certain things. With my anxious tendencies, it wouldn’t bode well so I steer clear.

Eloise never looks comfortable in her finery but do you enjoy wearing the regency costumes? I mean, it’s the nicest I’ll ever look. I’m not a fancy dresser at home. Living on a boat means I get covered in oil, coal, wood chips, dust, canal water, diesel. There’s no point dressing up, so I love getting to do it on-set.

Is it true that you only wear secondhand clothes? It’s six years since I shopped on the high street. I’ll buy new underwear but ethically sourced and mostly recycled materials. Otherwise, it’s strictly thrift and vintage shops.

What’s the appeal of living on a boat? I loved it as a kid and that stuck with me. When I moved to London, I lived in various terrifying places, scraping money together for rent. I thought I’d never get a mortgage for a house so started saving, slowly but surely, for a canal boat. It’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I love cruising, the small spaces, the smell of the engine. It’s all I’ve ever wanted.

You were raised by a working-class single mother. How did that shape you? It’s about expectations. Mine were never high. I worked very hard but never expected to make it. Even now, I leave auditions and think: “Well, I’m clearly not going to get that.” When I do, I’m pleasantly surprised. My mum cleaned houses to pay for my dance classes or music lessons or my brother’s activities. She’d do anything so we could have a shot. I’m very aware of where I’m from and how hard life can be. That will never leave me. It’s also made me a nester. I don’t want for much; I love just pottering around on the boat.

How come you were home-schooled? School wasn’t a nice environment for me; I had a hard time. I left at 14 and my poor mum home-schooled me while doing cleaning jobs. She’d teach me maths while ironing someone else’s clothes. Remarkable, really, but I learned better one on one, away from social pressures.

Is there a class gap in the acting profession? Growing up on a canal boat or council estate, I wasn’t going to the theatre. An acting career never crossed my mind. It’s hard to have beautiful dreams when you’ve got to focus on earning money, paying rent and practicalities. But those voices are important. Expressing yourself and having an emotional outlet is so valuable. I didn’t train, don’t have any qualifications, didn’t make all the right choices. It’s against the odds that I’m here now.

You were Thandiwe Newton’s sidekick, DC Jodie Taylor, in Line of Duty. How was that? When it aired, my friend sent me an article titled: Why DC Jodie Taylor is just the absolute worst! [laughs]. I love Thandiwe. We’re still in contact and she’s a beautiful woman. And I learned so much from Vicky McClure’s ability to be so naturalistic. [Showrunner] Jed Mercurio would tell me: “Don’t really act, just say the words.” That taught me to rein it in.

What role does Buddhism play in your life? I’m one of the noisy Buddhists. I don’t meditate, I chant – “Nam Myoho Renge Kyo”, the same as Tina Turner. Me and Tina T, no big deal. I did it as a kid with my mum and auntie but found it awkward when I hit my teens. Then I was 17, very sad, struggling with my brain, and my auntie was like: “Right, let’s commit to chanting.” It made me feel better and I haven’t stopped since. It’s the anchor of my life. I wouldn’t be here without it. Now I have responsibilities within the Buddhist community. I look after all the young women who practise it across the Midlands. It’s a job I do very gladly.

What projects are in the pipeline for you? I can’t talk much about it yet but I’m going to Sydney for two months, working on something I’m very excited about. Let’s just say it’s very different to Bridgerton. Then I’m back for Bridgerton season three.

Are you signed up for season four as well? Hope so! I think I am. There’s much more to come from Eloise, so I’m definitely sticking around.

Bridgerton season two streams on Netflix from 25 March

https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2022/mar/20/bridgerton-claudia-jessie-eloise-interview?CMP=twt_a-culture_b-gdnculture

[thinkingoutlouddblog]

butterfly effect: one

His mouth is slightly ajar, surely shocked to be seeing the girl of his past so far from where he had left her. I myself try to compute what I am seeing, but my brain is running so fast from the adrenaline, the gravity of what is occurring hardly registers.

It’s Harry, and he’s here and the two of you need to get out of there right now.

Word Count: 6k+

Includes: mob!h, mentions of blood, scary dudes late at night, and the set up for my favourite story I’ve ever written!

A/N: guys I am so excited about this story! I swear writing this is the only thing holding me together (so don’t let it flop lmao). It is 2AM pray for me.

My inbox is open for anyone who wants to chat about this series! I love to gab, and constructive criticism is very much appreciated. I want this to be as good as possible!!

butterfly effect masterlist // my masterlist

now

It is not until it is already too late that I realise I should have just ordered an uber.

Alex was very insistent that I order one home from my late shift at the pub. He had even offered to split the cost, knowing without needing to ask this was the cause of my hesitation. It wasn’t that I couldn’t afford it. Strictly speaking, I could. I was just keenly aware of the amount of material I could buy with the amount a late night uber in London would cost me. I would never take him up on his offer. He needed the money just as much as I did.

“It’s okay, I’m good for it,” I gave him a little smile. He was sitting in front of his mirror in his room, midway through getting ready for work. I had simply come to say goodbye before I left for my shift when he had grabbed me by the hand and demanded I ordered an uber home.

“Babe, you have to promise me.”

“I promise!” I stared exaggeratedly into his eyes as I spoke, emphasising my honesty.

In that moment, I made peace with the money I would be losing from my fabric budget. I calculated this budget, of course, by subtracting living expenses from my weekly income. My best friend wanted to make sure I got home safe, wanted the peace of mind while he was working that I would be fine. Who was I to say no to that?

“Make sure you text me when you get into the uber and once you make it up to the apartment.” My chest flooded with warmth at the love and care in his voice. It was moments like these I really sat back and thanked my lucky stars that Alex was in my life.

So, of course I was just going to bite the bullet and order the uber. Of course.

Except, well.

I couldn’t help but think how quickly I got from our place to work. We had picked the apartment just one short month ago, heavily considering the advantage of its walking distance to my work. The King’s Arms was just one block up and down the road. It was barely a fifteen-minute walk. Shorter than that if I took the shortcut down the alleyway back to our block, saving me from walking further down the road and looping back around. It would probably take me longer to get home via uber, once you account for the time spent waiting for it to arrive.

A ten-minute walk home wouldn’t kill me, surely.

The contemplation was pushed from my mind for the duration of my busy Saturday night shift. It was my least favourite shift of the week, as I spent each week chasing after middle aged men getting rowdy in the excitement of watching whatever sport was on TV. The King’s Arm was small, but it was a local favourite known for its homey pub meals, reasonably priced pints and good atmosphere. Much to my contempt they didn’t keep a large staff pool, preferring a smaller, well-trained, reliable bunch. Which was great in theory until it left me to run around like my hair is on fire on a night as busy as tonight.

I was capable of serving everyone well and in a timely manner, but it wasn’t exactly a stroll in the park. More like a seven-hour long sprint, with a half hour break in the middle.

As the final game for the night ended, the crowd slowly but surely thinned until just a couple of small groups remained.

“Hey y/n, are you okay to lock up by yourself if I head home in five?” my manager, Rachel asked me half an hour before close. “I have some time I need to take back,” she added in explanation.

“Of course, you go get out of here.” I knew she wasn’t lying when she said she had some time to take back, putting in all sorts of extra hours to keep the place in tip top shape. I liked Nicola, and I had certainly been working there long enough to handle a couple of customers and lock up by myself. Even if I didn’t like Rachel and thought she was slacking off, I couldn’t exactly argue. She was both my boss and the owner’s daughter, probably not far off becoming the owner herself.

“Are you sure?” She asked, eyeing the few men still seated, probably triple checking she didn’t think they were any kind of threat.

“Yes,” I laughed, “now scram, before I change my mind.”

“Alright if you insist,” she said, already making her way towards her bag.

“Ring me if you need anything! Good night!” She called over her shoulder as she exited through the kitchen door. The cook had gone home ten minutes earlier, the pub serving only drinks the hour before close at midnight.

“Night!” I called back.

I made quick work of what little cleaning there was left to do, and gently reminded the remaining patrons we closed in half an hour. To my surprise they were agreeable and friendly, one of them instantly assuring me, “Don’t worry love we’ll be out of your hair soon, won’t make you stay back late.”

Usually the kind of people that were in the pub this late had no care for closing time, believing that pertained simply to whenever they decided they wanted to leave.

True to his word, everyone was out with ten minutes to spare and I was able to clean their dishes and tables with the remaining time they had granted me. I locked the door to The King’s Arms at 12 o’clock on the dot and riding the high of such an easy close, took not a moment in deciding I was in fact going to walk home.

To Alex: Just ordered an uber!

I felt guilty lying, but I would rather lie than have Alex worrying over nothing. I would be home in a flash, keys secured firmly in between my knuckles the whole way. I felt far safer on the move than waiting out the front of work for an uber anyway.

I kept a fast pace, left only to debate whether I took my shortcut or stuck to the street. I checked over my shoulder, and seeing absolutely no one around, made a quick right turn into the alleyway between two buildings.

I grabbed my phone from my back pocket as I heard the ding of a text notification. I glance down at my screen, reading as I walk.

From Alex: Amazing! I should be home in a couple hours, text me when you get home safe. Love you x

I don’t register the hushed growling tones as I continue making my way down the alley, still looking down at my phone as I type a simple ‘love you’ in reply. It isn’t uncommon to hear the conversations of tenants on the lower levels of these apartment buildings as you walk down the street. Walls are thin and many windows generally left open. It is easy to consign this particular conversation among the other non-threatening city sounds until I eventually look back up from my phone.

I am immediately faced with a most unfavourable scene, under the single light that illuminates this alley, are the two men who I now recognise to be the source of the argument I had barely registered. The first man is tall, dressed in all black, thick muscles protruding through his t-shirt. He towered over the second man who contrasted him starkly in his bright red adidas tracksuit. The tall man’s presence would be dominating the space, even if he didn’t have his dark forearm pressed firmly against the smaller man’s throat.

I clamp a hand over my mouth, stopping myself from yelping stupidly and drawing attention to myself. They haven’t noticed my presence. A witness to whatever it was that was occurring here.

“See all I’m hearing is excuses, bruv,” the tall man’s accent is distinctly that of someone from South London. His tone is aggressive, but even. He knows he has the upper hand and it is clearly not his first rodeo threatening people. This is exactly the kind of person I could’ve avoided encountering by simply ordering an uber.

I snap out of my shocked daze and start to turn to make a swift and stealthy departure. I’m no fool. I know there is a definitive gang presence around here. I also know, if you leave them alone, they too shall (hopefully)leave you. All hopes of making such an exit are of course foiled as soon as my foot connects with an empty beer bottle on my first step.

The two men’s heads snap towards me instantly. I expect the shorter man to ask for help, to say something, but his mouth remains clamped shut. Gang business. He is in a bigger mess than someone like me can ever save him from. The taller man’s eyes narrow. After the briefest moments of standing there frozen, caught, I spin on my heel and run as fast as my feet can carry me.

I run back to the route I should have taken, cursing myself all the way for being naïve enough to believe that nothing bad could happen to me on something as simple as a walk home from work. That women who were raped, kidnapped and murdered from off the street were somehow removed from me. That was something only on the news in my world. Not something that was possibly about to occur.

My heart hammers in my chest as I make the split-second decision, I am safer running all the way home than running as far as I can from the scene of the crime. I’m going to run all the way up the stairs to my fifth-floor apartment, and I am going to lock the door behind me. I turn the corner back up to my block, not slowing down for a second.

I am so quick in fact, that as I come flying around the next corner towards my apartment, I nearly barrel straight into someone. He was clearly walking with some pace too, because he narrowly prevents us crashing into each other head on, but he is a second too slow in his reaction time because I trip straight over his feet. I hardly even see him, even as I am falling straight over him. All I see is brown hair and a dark suit before I’m staring straight at the pavement flying towards my face. I barely manage to throw my forearms out to break my fall as I hit the pavement at speed.

“Jesus,” the man mutters, but the only thing I can hear is my heavy breathing and my own blood pounding in my ears.

I’m on the ground now, I register for a second before my flight response kicks back in.

I don’t even feel the sting of the scrapes with the adrenaline coursing through me, already attempting to scramble up and get as far away as possible from this stranger. “I’m so sorry!” I manage to call as I pick myself and my keys up, gearing up to get moving once more.

“Honey?”

No. It absolutely could not possibly be. There was only one person on this planet who had ever called me by that name.

I stop dead in my tracks. That voice. It’s deeper than I remember but undoubtedly familiar. Familiar seems too simple a word. That voice had echoed around the halls of my brain for years. Even now, six years later, it was not gone but buried, waiting for a simple trigger to spark my memory and bring that beautiful sound back to the forefront my mind. Some days I swear I remembered it like I had just heard it moments ago.

Except now, I really had heard him.

Slowly, I turned to face him.

His mouth is slightly ajar, surely shocked to be seeing the girl of his past so far from where he had left her. I myself try to compute what I am seeing, but my brain is running so fast from the adrenaline, the gravity of what is occurring hardly registers.

It’s Harry, and he’s here and the two of you need to get out of there right now.

Before he can verbalise any of the questions on the tip of his tongue, I grab his hand in my own, and yank him forward as I continue running home.

Realistically, I know that we now outnumber whoever it was that may be coming after me and I know even six years since I’ve last seen him, I am always safe with Harry. He proved that in many ways, and more than once, while I knew him. I was not, however, willing to risk the tall man pulling a knife on Harry. I didn’t even want to put him in a situation where it was a battle of fists. Though I did know from experience he could more than hold his own.

“What’s going on?” he yells as we run down the street, rapidly approaching the exit of the alleyway I had fled.

I gradually reduce our pace until we are speed-walking past the alleyway. Tempted as I am to see if they are still there, I keep my eyes trained forward, praying they aren’t there watching us as we pass by.

As soon as we have cleared it, I’m straight back to my running pace, forcing Harry to accelerate speed once more.

“I’ll explain inside,” I call over my shoulder in answer to his earlier question.

Now that I felt a degree safer with Harry’s presence, I had the capacity to feel thankful I had opted for a boiler suit and converse for tonight to accommodate for the Saturday night rush. This run would have been hell if I had worn a skirt and a heeled boot instead.

“Inside where?” He’s laughing as he speaks and as the fear loosens its grip on me, the déjà vu begins to battle for dominance. That laugh had brightened my every day for long enough to leave a mark on my soul. Fleeting as it was, that single sound reignited the shine it had once left.

His question was answered when we came to a screeching halt in front of my apartment. It took me two tries to input my security code correctly, my brain and hands both moving quickly, but not quite matching up. Eventually, the door clicked, and I was able to swing it open, tugging Harry in after me.

I didn’t stop dragging him along behind me until we had taken all five flights of stairs up to my apartment two at a time.

“y/n…” he attempted to grab my attention when we first entered the building, but I was not to be deterred until we had reached the absolute safety of my apartment. I shushed him, not wanting to receive a noise complaint from my new neighbours. I supposed having such a thought was a good sign, my consciousness beginning to register it was not in any imminent danger.

I huffed and puffed as we landed at the doorstep of apartment 5B, the place I loved to call home. Harry, I noticed, was barely short of breath. He had always been a runner when we were in high school. I wondered if he kept up the habit even now.

My hands shook as I located the correct key on my chain, body still shaking from the excitement of the events of the past five minutes. I struggled to align the key with the lock with my left hand, unthinking of the fact my right was still firmly in Harry’s hold.

“Let me,” he murmured, already moving his right hand to take the key. I said nothing, simply surrendering it over to him.

His hands were steady as anything as he turned the key, granting us entrance into my home. I released a breath I didn’t realise I had been holding. I finally stopped just past the door, my back to Harry as he shut it behind him. I took a few deep breaths, trying so desperately to ground myself.

Was any of this even real? The sketchy characters I could believe in a heartbeat, Harry Styles’ presence, however, was harder to grasp.

But there his hand was, in my own, even if I couldn’t see him.

Harry stood back and let me take this moment to myself, keenly aware of how much I needed it. He knew I needed to take pause and re-centre myself otherwise I would only shut down. He was also aware of my injured state though, even if I wasn’t.

“y/n, you’re bleeding.”

“Oh,” my head snapped back to look at my arm. In the rush to get home, the blood from the scrapes on my arm had run down my arm and dripped into our connected hands. I quickly released my grasp on him. “Jesus, I’m sorry.”

“A little bit of blood never hurt anyone,” he quickly dismissed. “Unless you’re the one that’s bleeding, in which case you better get cleaned up as soon as possible.

“Luckily you have me here to play nurse. Just lead the way to the nearest bathroom,” he gave me a little cheeky grin, clearly trying to lift your spirits. The subtle playfulness is not as natural as it once was, but it is certainly reminiscent of our old dynamic. The surrealism of this whole thing goes straight to my head, clouding my ability to form full, coherent thoughts.

Somehow, I manage to come out with, “I think you mean our only bathroom,” in response.

He grunts a laugh, but he hasn’t missed the use of the word our.

I walk like a zombie, leading him through the hallway past the living room and the kitchen to the bathroom. I hold my forearms up in an attempt to redirect the flow of the blood and prevent it from dripping from my fingertips onto the floor. As I slowly came out of survival mode, my awareness of the stinging of my forearms became increasingly prominent. I was sure my hip and knees were going to be bruised pretty badly too. I really hadn’t managed to slow down at all before all my momentum came crashing into the cement.

“Do you have a first aid kit?” He asks upon our arrival to the bathroom.

“Under the sink.”

My eyes trail over the mess Alex and I had left in our rush to get ready.

I tend to procrastinate getting ready for as long as possible, busying myself with just about anything else. Generally, it will be tidying up the mess I’ve made during the day, only for me to create a whole new one in my hurry to get ready for my shift on time. Alex on the other hand, always leaves plenty of time to perfect his look before leaving for the night. Despite having the time to do so, he never cleans as he goes. Leaving his many products and deliberated outfits spread far and wide. Luckily most of his mess was confined to his bedroom, the only trace of him in the bathroom skincare and hair products (though there wasn’t a limited amount of those, either).

“I’m sorry for the mess,” I speak quietly watching Harry get his bearings, standing helplessly as I bled, hands still raised.

“Nonsense,” he doesn’t look at me as he speaks, jumping into action.

Harry turns the faucet on in the sink before opening the cupboard door and grabbing the first aid kid out. It was actually sort of a miracle Alex and I had one. It had been on a list of “Things You Need for a New Apartment” I had googled, scared we were missing important things. At the time, I had deliberated longer than necessary over whether to get one. I couldn’t remember the last time I had required anything more than a band aid for any given ailment. The deciding factor had been the memory of Alex getting into a couple of scrapes while out over the years. It had never been anything major, the worst injury he ever sustained being a bruised jaw, but it was better to be safe than sorry, I decided.

Turns out, that decision was for the best.

He gently touches his fingertips to my right arm, which had copped the brunt of it. With the softest touch, he delicately guided my arm under the stream of water. As I stepped forward to lean over the sink and wash away the dirt of the footpath, he stepped backwards, giving me my space.

I winced at the initial contact of the water as it ran red. I risked a glance at my reflection. Sweaty brow, the light lazy work makeup I had applied half off my face. I quickly diverted my gaze back to my injured arm. This was not exactly how I pictured our reunion. I had hardly ever even pictured it, I was so sure that I would never see Harry again.

I wondered if this silence was as heavy as I thought it was. Everything about him felt so familiar, yet so different. Up until this moment it felt like being in the presence of a friend, but now I realised, he was closer to a stranger.

I knew the person he once was, a sweet but fucked up kid who had been forced to become a man too early. Someone who had his walls a mile high around almost everyone. Almost. The boy who painted his nails on lunch breaks and was friends with everyone but somehow also no one. Until he was friends with me. Then he was the boy who always sat to my left from the first bell of the school day to the last. Back then, I knew him from the inside out, just as he knew me.

He was my greatest joy of those years. Then he was my greatest heartbreak. Now, he was just some guy I used to know who I had plucked straight up off the street, looking very out of place in what was clearly a designer suit in my tiny apartment.

He looked through the first aid kit as I ensured the entirety of the scrape was rinsed. It extended most of the way from my elbow to my wrist, but more pressingly in my mind, it now stung like a bitch. Once the water rain clear as it ran off my arm, I moved onto the much smaller and shallower scrape on my left elbow, working quickly to get it clean.

Most of the bleeding had stopped, only a few spots on my right arm still dotting with blood. I leaned over the sink to prevent the water from dripping onto the floor.

I cleared my throat, nervous to break the silence.

“Can you please grab me that towel?” I nodded my head towards the black hand towel hung behind Harry.

His eyes snapped upwards from the first aid kit he had been busying himself with. I was sure he had been surveying it more thoroughly than strictly necessary, trying to detract from the awkward energy which had crept up on us. We made brief eye contact through the mirror. My breath caught in my throat. The moment was over as soon as it began as he turned wordlessly to grab the towel.

He holds it in his hand, hesitating before handing it over, “Did you want me to…?” he trails off, growing awkward in his offer. He regretted the words as soon as they were out of his mouth. She barely knows you, back off, he tells himself.

“No that’s okay,” I speak gently, and he quickly passes the towel to me. I get to work patting my arms down delicately.

“Thank you though,” I add, hating the unsure look on his face. I meet his eye, giving him a smile I hope is reassuring.

“Okay, let’s get you sitting down so I can fix you up,” he returns your smile with a slight upturn of the right side of his mouth.

I relocate to the little dining table Alex and I had bought at Ikea just a week prior. Harry isn’t far behind, washing his hands before joining me to tend to my wounds. He lays out everything he is going to need from the first aid kit before holding his hand out. Like an idiot, I stare at his hand without moving for a beat too long before jerkily offering my right arm up.

He laughs silently as he turns my arm over, analysing it carefully.

“So, do you often go for runs at midnight?” He asks as he unscrews the lid on the Vaseline.

“Yeah all the time. I just don’t normally take people from the street with me.”

“Is that all I am? A person on the street?” He tries to keep his tone light, but I can tell he was hurt by my choice of words.

I expect to feel guilty, but a burst of anger I thought I had long gotten over flares in my chest. It isn’t as red hot and overwhelming as it had been years before – I’d definitely had my fair share of time to cool off – but I’m still surprised by the sting of it.

He was the one that made himself a stranger to me, and now he’s upset when I’m stating the fact that he made a reality.

Despite myself, I tried not to come across too harshly in my response. I was never one for confrontation.

“I mean, I haven’t heard from you in six years.”

He is very careful not to lift his eyes from my injuries as he carefully applies the petroleum jelly. I stare down at him, desperate to catch his eye.

There’s a pause as I wait for him to offer some kind of explanation. Some perfectly good reason why my best friend and first love left town without telling me why, or where he was going, and then never contacted me again.

When he doesn’t fill the silence, I sigh as quietly as I can manage. You don’t really know him, I remind myself. I practically kidnapped him, I can’t just go asking him to rehash history. It was so clear that he was what he had wanted me to be. History.

“I just mean, I don’t really know you anymore. I’m sorry I grabbed you like that, I just,” I hissed at the sting of his first aid, “I was walking home from work and I saw these really sketchy looking guys.”

“Sketchy looking?” He finally looked up at me, raising an eyebrow questioningly.

“Well I guess they didn’t really look sketchy in their appearance particularly, it was more the fact that one of them was practically choking the other. They were arguing over something. I think it was something to do with some of the gangs around here,” I attempted a nonchalant tone, not wanting to worry him. The less phased I seemed, the better. I had caused him enough trouble. The only thing that was probably stopping him from running for the hills and never looking back (again) was guilt.

I go on to explain how I’d kicked that stupid beer bottle and taken off running, “which is when I ran into you. I’m really sorry about that, by the way. I’m so glad I didn’t take you down with me I think I would’ve died of a mix of guilt and embarrassment right then and there.”

“It wasn’t your fault, Ho-“he cut himself before his mouth could form that name he had so affectionately given you. “I’m the one who feels guilty, if not for my big, slow feet you wouldn’t have bit the dust.” I laugh at his turn of phrase.

His face suddenly grows serious. “Your head is okay, right?”

Instinctively, my left hand shoots up to the back of my head, ghosting over the slight bump hidden under my hair. The scar tissue was ever so minimally raised, only perceptible to a knowing touch. I retract my hand bashfully, slightly embarrassed by my knee jerk reaction.

“It’s fine,” I match his serious tone, before lightening it up, “as you can see, I managed to break most of my fall,” I gesture to my right arm he has paused work on.

He holds my gaze for a moment longer, discerning whether he thinks I am downplaying anything. He picks up the dressing, moving onto the next phase of his treatment plan.

“And they don’t feel broken? You can move your wrists okay without too much pain?”

My heart swells at his concern. I stamp out the small joy as soon as it flared up. It’s guilt that’s fuelling him. Nothing else.

I shake my head no. He looks up once more, having missed the gesture in his concentration. “Sorry! No. All bumps and bruises. I’m fine honestly, I probably majorly overexaggerated the whole thing and freaked out for nothing. I’m really sorry about all this, its so late at night.”

“Don’t apologise,” he says firmly. “It’s not your fault and you did exactly the right thing by making a break fo’ it. You never know what could’ve happened. Ya’ know. Out late. By yourself. In the dark.”

My face burned red with shame, but also defiance. I knew what I did was stupid and extremely risky, but I also didn’t think I needed a lecture about it in this moment. The fear still coursing through me and my scraped-up arms were surely lesson enough.

“I could say the same thing to you,” I countered.

We both knew my argument didn’t hold up very well. He was a man out alone at night. There was obviously a risk there, but it wasn’t the same.

We also both knew, I wasn’t really trying to start a debate. Just signalling to him I didn’t want to get into it and wanted to move on.

“I was walking to the tube from a mate’s place,” he explained simply, letting me off the hook.

He had begun to tape the dressing down to my skin, securing it safely. He worked expertly. Even if I didn’t already know, I would have said this was one of many times he had done some at home first aid.

“In a designer suit?” I questioned. There were two things I was asking, but also not saying. Was this the kind of ‘mate’ you wine and dine before going home with them? And what happened to that poor kid from Holmes Chapel I once knew?

“I came straight from work.”

Jesus he wasn’t giving me a lot to work with in the way of details.

“Oh,” I say lamely, not wanting to pry. As much as I could tell myself (and him) that I didn’t really know him anymore and he was basically a stranger, it still hurt to be treated like one. We used to be so open with one another. The one thing I ever kept from him was how I truly felt about him.

“I work in finance,” he offers up after a beat of silence. “It uh- I’m pretty lucky to have the job I do,” he alludes to his financial standing, obviously wanting to acknowledge the contrast comparative to how I knew him. A boy not even of eighteen, fending for himself while trying to complete his high school education.

My face practically split in two with the size of the smile on my face at his words. “I’m so happy for you, Harry,” I say, hoping he can see how genuinely I mean it.

“Thank you.”

“Are you happy, H?” The question slips out before I can stop it. Internally, I kick myself. Externally, I try to keep my face neutral, yet interested. That’s a perfectly normal question to ask. Totally.

“Um,” he switches to my left elbow, making quicker work of the smaller wound. “I think so. In my experience you never realise how happy you are until you aren’t. But still, I think I am.”

“Good,” I say firmly. “I’m glad.”

“What about you?” He turns the questioning back on you. “What’s your story?”

“Oh, you know. The sad story of the girl chasing a dream,” I nodded my head towards the sewing machine stationed at the other end of the table.

“Don’t say that!” His tone jests, but he is serious as he speaks. “I think it would be far sadder if I discovered that your talent was going to waste. I’m really glad to hear that actually,” he half says the last sentence to himself, concentrating on fixing his dressing properly on the more difficult angle of my elbow.

“There you go,” he gleams as he admires his handy work. “Good as new.”

“Thank you so much, Harry. I’m so sorry for all this-“

“Not your fault,” he quickly dismisses.

“Even so, I’m sorry for all the trouble. I’ll pay for an uber home for you or something,” I try to come up with something to offer him that can even begin to repay him for his help.

“Are you going to be okay by yourself?” His brow creases in concern.

“Oh, Alex should be-“ I smack a hand over my mouth, realising I never texted him to let him know I had gotten home okay.

“Oh fuck,” I remove my hand from my mouth. I gingerly fish my phone out of my back pocket, muscles beginning to protest, the impact of that fall settling in.

Four missed calls and a flurry of text messages. My phone had automatically turned onto ‘Do Not Disturb’ mode as scheduled at 12:30. I hadn’t been notified of any of it and he had definitely assumed the worst.

“Is everything okay?”

“I forgot to text him and let him know I made it home okay,” I don’t look up as I speak, opening our text chat.

From Alex: I’m coming home

Received ten minutes ago.

“Your boyfriend?” He questioned, keeping his face impassive. That had my head shooting up.

“Uh-“ I began, but cut myself off as the unmistakeable sound of heeled feet running up the stairs to our apartment ran out loud and clear.

Shit.

Before I could even think what to say next, Alex’s key was in the lock. The door swung open, smacking the wall with the force of it.

Both Harry and Alex’s brows hit their bloody hairline I swear. Or more accurately, Lexie’s.

There my best friend and roommate stood, in full drag, light catching the sequins of the pink mini-dress I had sewn myself. If I weren’t standing there with the guiltiest expression of my life, I would be thinking about how stunning she looked.

Harry looked between the two of you, as Lexie did the same. Both trying to catch their brains up to what they were seeing. I myself was at a loss for words. I probably should have started with, “Lex, I am so sorry,” but Harry broke the silence first.

“Wow, you look amazing,” he breathed, transfixed by the look Lexie had created. Drag was an art form, and she was quite the artist. He was not the first to become enchanted upon first look, and he certainly would not be the last.

Lexie narrowed her eyes at Harry, jaw falling slightly open at the audacity of the acknowledgement in this moment. She had little patience for besotted strangers in moments like this. Her narrowed eyes moved to mine, face filling with rage.

“Lex-“ I begin, but am cut off for what seems to be the millionth time tonight with the simple raise of her hand. The close of my mouth is instant. I was not about to make this any worse.

“Bitch, if you do not have a very good explanation for this,” she breathes deeply, trying to gain her composure, “I am going to fucking kill you.”

                                   ********

As soon as he is out of your apartment and onto the street, his phone is in his hand. Fingers not able to press to type the message fast enough for his liking.

From Harry: We need to talk. I saw her.

As soon as the message was delivered, he was returning the calls he had silenced in y/n’s presence. The moment she had turned her back and left him to wash his hands, he had turned his phone to airplane mode.

“Jesus Christ bruv, I thought you were dead,” Michael joked as soon as he picked up.

The two of them had parted ways for what should’ve been five or ten minutes. Harry hadn’t seen it happen, just heard the clatter of the beer bottle as it skated along the ground and the screeching halt in the argument. He had been waiting patiently for Michael to finish working in the shadowy doorway to the side. He hadn’t seen a thing, and he was sure from his concealed position, whoever had seen Mike hadn’t seen him. So, he obligingly offered to take a walk, ensure she hadn’t gone calling the police.

He had just been bored. Ready to go home and have a drink with Michael so he could have a bitch and a moan about work. It always left him feeling better when he returned on Monday. He was killing time, that was all. He hadn’t expected to stumble over the girl who had changed everything.

Harry didn’t take time to explain his extended absence, moving straight along to what he had called for. Just like Mike, he preferred to skip the pleasantries.

“I need you to subtly divert as much traffic from this block as possible,” he didn’t ask. He never asked. It was always an instruction with him. In this business, asking nicely didn’t exactly lend itself to going far.

“What’s this about?” Harry gritted his teeth. He did not enjoy having his authority questioned. The only reason Michael would get away with it was because of their pre-existing friendship. Even then. Harry was not exactly in a forgiving mood. Made all the worse when Mike added, “This isn’t about that girl from the alley is it?”

Michael had his answer when Harry said only, “Get it done or I’ll have your fookin’ head.”

chat with me about butterfly effect!