#if anyone tells me they like the scrapped version more than the final i am going to walk into the benthic zone and never return | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

picnokinesis · 8 months ago

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I don't think you reblogged this but I am interested so 1&2 for the same ask game when you have time! Whichever WIP you want.

Oh my days HI GABE!!!! Thank you for the ask!! For everyone else there's a wip questionnaire here by @buffythevampirelover which maybe I'll reblog in a minute if anyone wants to ask me questions about my fan or og projects hahahah

1. What was the first part of your wip that you created?

Okay I'm actually gonna answer this about two different projects because a) I bugged gabe to actually give me a project and he said disarmed sksksk but also b) I have an interesting answer for one of my og projects

Disarmed, first of all - this is a fanfic wip that I'm currently working on (we're on the last chapter now, hurrah!). It's an idea I had in 2021, and I had actually decided that it was officially scrapped/permanently shelved at the start of January....only for me to then sign up to the goreswap exchange and decide to write it anyway SKSK ONLY TO THEN STOP because it got too long so I wrote something else instead.

If you don't like mentions of horrible injuries, I'd recommend stopping here and jumping to the next post on your dash haha.

Disarmed actually originally came about from a very rancid dream I had where the Doctor and the Master were both found in a forest on an alien planet, holding each other's severed arms over their shoulders rip. And so, from there, I ended up drafting this Idea in my brain - and I had this EXCEPTIONALLY clear image in my head of the Master sewing the Doctor's arm onto where his used to be (which...kind of doesn't technically even happen in the story anymore but the imagery remained), and so that was the first thing I created. Which is - actually tell you what, I'm gonna throw that sketch that i did under the cut along with the rest of this answer in case people scrolling don't want to see mild cartoon gore haha. Also this post might get a bit long anyway

Here he is!

So in case anyone wasn't sure, the title is purely there for the pun and always has been hahah

For my og project though - this is a script that I'm not gonna say the name of because I submitted it to a BBC script call HAHA, but it's about a meteorite strike that causes a lot of problems, including giving some people dangerous powers. This idea actually started waaaaaaaay back when I was like, 16yo or so, when I wrote three songs that I wanted to make into a concept album. I'm pretty sure that the first one was actually one called Days Gone By, which I actually filmed myself singing here, back when I had long hair haha, although I think you could argue that the bones of We've Heard It All Before (which is now a complete song - and also YIKES I took this fast, baby taka what are you doing sksksk) came up before any of Days Gone By. How do I know this? I have a ton of old voice notes on my laptop. The interesting thing here is that Days Gone By is actually Plot C in my script and doesn't even come up in the episode that I wrote, which was the pilot, and thus only covers Plot A (Through the Dust and Blood, the third song which I did not film) and Plot B (We've Heard It All Before). Even funnier story - the idea for the original concept album which became the script was ALSO, like disarmed, based on a dream I had HAHAHA (but like, so loosely. I don't think any of the original dream other than the imminent meteorite strike has made it into the final project. Great jumping off point, though!).

2. If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be?

Gonna answer this one about my og WIP script, Onkalo, because this project has some original folk songs that I've written right at the heart of it - and so, naturally, I would have a rendition of Over Onkalo as the intro. I kind of imagine it like, a medley of an instrumental or soundtrack version, so more dramatic and orchestral, but with people singing the song coming in and out of it - and then it would end on just people singing the last line acapella as the rest of the music fades out and theeeeen - titles! Or something like that. If I have to go with a song that's already been written though, I'd probably go with maybe El Búho by Blanco White, or You Are a Memory by Message to Bears.

THANKS FOR THE ASK GABE!! <3

#taka replies #wip questionnaire #gabeorelse #this is fun #onkalo #taka writes #disarmed #uhh honestly not sure what to tag this HAHAH #scripts

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ginnyweasely · 4 years ago

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SHE [draco malfoy x reader]

pairings: draco malfoy x reader

warnings: just a lil swearing that’s all, lots of fluff?

summary: based on “she” by harry styles, reader appears in draco’s dreams and draco wants those dreams to become reality.

word count: 2.8k+

songs to listen to: she by harry styles also the slowed version

A/N: bold italics are the lyrics, and normal italics are just memories<3 hope y’all enjoy this quick scrap that I had in mind when listening to she!! my requests are open, send requests HERE and FEEDBACK IS ALWAYS WELCOMED!

Nine in the morning

The man drops his kids off at school

And he's thinking of you

Like all of us do

It was 9 AM, Draco awoke in a groan, he did not wanna be up, he wanted to sleep and live in that dream world again.. He got up quick, so quickly that it made him feel a little dizzy in the head or maybe just maybe it was that Draco’s mind was still fumbled about the dream he had..

The dream that had him wanting to never wake up.. He wished he could see that dream every night, the one where he had you. You were finally his, he didn’t wanna be possessive but he couldn’t help it, even in his dreams and in his fantasies, you were his, his boyfriend, his lover, not for anyone else.

This time it wasn’t a nightmare, his dream. It was a vision where all his fantasies were fulfilled. He dreamt of you in a way that fulfilled his desires. Your head at his lap just laying there softly, as he smiled at the view in front of him, gently taking his hands softly to your Y/HC, stroking it as softly as he could, fearing his hand would stroke too hardly and end up hurting you.

Draco noticed you basically purring under his touch, closing your eyes as he was was stroking your hair softly, making you sleepy. Draco noticed your bright but not too bright pinkish cheeks, he smiled at the thought of you blushing under his touch, he wanted his hands to stroke against his cheek but didn’t wanna ruin this position he was in, so he just kept stroking your hair, and stared at you lovingly, your eyes fluttered a little to look at the boy, he smiled at you in which you returned the smile, as the two lovers gazed into each other for a long time. He noticed the dimple on your face once again, that little dimple that always appeared when you were smiling, even if it was a little smile.

He loved it, he loved your entire face, he loved your silky shiny hair, he loved the sound of your laugh filling his ears, it gave him joy. He loved meeting you in his dreams like this. He wished that they were real, he wished that when he woke up from those dreams, you would be right there with him on the bed, your arms on his neck, snoring lightly as you were cuddled on to his side. He smiled at the thought, but he knew it was too good to be true.

This brief dream was one that Draco could not shake out of his mind. He sat there on his bed for a while. Trying to think of ways to get you out of his mind.

Sends his assistant for coffee in the afternoon.

Around 1:32. Like he knows what to do.

She (she).

She lives in daydreams with me (she)

It was around 1 PM now, Draco wanted nothing more than for this day to be over, he was exhausted from the classes, and he couldn’t even get to see you today, as the class was over Draco got his books and walked down the corridors, happy that he was done for the day, but not as happy because he couldn’t see you.

He thought he could shake his mind off of you by going to the common room of his house, Slytherin and hanging around with his friends, he hoped, he hoped it would get his mind off of you.

Draco walked sluggishly to the common room basically throwing himself on the couch as his housemates laughed at the boy, “You seem tired, Dray.” Pansy said in a low voice and in a flirty way, Draco didn’t have any energy nor any mind to deal with Pansy as he just simply murmured a single “Yes.” Pansy brushed off the boy’s behavior as the group started chatting, Draco first tried to join in, but then after a while his mind started drifting, drifting towards one thing it shouldn’t have drifted to.

Y/N. He remembered the first time he saw her.

She's the first one that I see

And I don't know why

I don't know who she is (she, she)

It wasn’t actually the first time, but he didn’t know who she was after a while of noticing her out on the hallways, he first noticed her in the potions class. When the two were paired.

Draco didn’t know who she was and did not bothered to ask, but he was surprised at the girl’s kind gestures while he was being an arse, she didn’t care about his behavior, she was kind to him because she treated everyone like she wanted to be treated, and that right there shocked him to his core, she was the opposite of him, and it boggled his mind, she also was terrific at potions, and he could tell that she cared about her studies, and looked so focused on everything she did, she had this focused face with his mouth almost open and her tongue was sticking out to the side, it made Draco chuckle.

He was fascinated by the soft eyed girl. She smelled amazing, unfortunately they were only paired up 3 or 4 times.

That wasn’t enough for Draco, he wanted to hear her sweet laugh everyday, hell he wanted to make her laugh everyday, he liked her too much to be away from her, the girl seemed to like the boy, it was obvious, they had great chemistry and great chat at the lessons, but Draco always wondered if she liked her the same way he did. But because of his stupid pride he never tried out his chances.

Draco’s mind was back to reality as he heard that sweet laugh, his head immediately popping up as he saw the girl in his common room.. he was confused as to why she was there..

But he didn’t wanna ruin the sweet moment of his day, the moment where he saw Y/N, you were looking as beautiful as ever as you were surrounded by your friends, you were chatting with them as Draco watched you and tried his best to also avoid eye contact, he couldn’t handle the humiliation if you ever caught him staring, you brushed your hair out of your face tucking it behind your ear as you laughed at your friends and started talking about... something.

Draco couldn’t remember what it was because his knees grew weak at the girl.

He then turned his gaze away from you, as he realized he was staring much longer than he intended to. He sighed as his mind was scrambled up with you. He was frustrated at himself for always having you in his mind, in fact he remembered about that one thing that he still was kind of embarrassed about, he blushed at the memory and mentally cursed himself for remembering embarrassing things out of nowhere.

It was the game of a quidditch match, Slytherin were up against Ravenclaw, Draco was Slytherin’s seeker and it seemed that he was doing quite well.

Everyone was counting on him, girls were throwing themselves at him, boys were praising him, these incidents made Draco cocky, let’s be honest he was already a bit egoistical, and these compliments adding up made him too cocky, he knew he could win this, he kept thinking that as he was sure of himself.

They entered the Quidditch arena, and the match started Draco was focusing on the Golden Snitch, but much to his luck, he spotted you out of the corner of his eye, and because of his stupid stupid obsession and him being absolutely head over heels for you, made him turn his face to you, entirely forgetting about his mission.

You were surprised as the boy was smiling and waving at you, a bright color of red rised to your cheeks as you smiled and waved at the boy back, but it kept him too distracted as few of his team mates and the opposed team were flying right by him in a full speed that caused the boy to lose his balance, almost falling, the entire crowd laughing at the boy.

He embarrassedly gained his balance and still, for some reason his eyes searched for you, his eyes found you, staring into them in a soft way, she returned the gaze with a smile and thumbs up showing her full support, he smiled lovingly at the girl. He caught the golden snitch at that game, but he would still blush about that one embarrassing moment.

He decided he couldn’t take this anymore so he slowly got up from his seat, excusing himself from his friends, he was trying to avoid being seen by Y/N so he could walk to his dorm and drown in his thoughts, but it was too late. “Oh, Draco hey!” Y/N said in a giggly soft tone as Draco turned around to face her, not being able to stop smiling at her he greeted her politely.

“Soo, what are you up to?” Her voice was full of energy, which was surprising and new to Draco, that’s why he loved hearing her voice, it made him feel more lively. “Uhh nothing just- um was gonna go back to my dorm.”

Draco tried his best not to stammer but it was obvious he kinda failed, Y/N didn’t mind and smiled once again kindly to the boy, “I best not bother you then!” Her voice sounded chippy, and Draco knew she could never bother her, he wanted to be with her every minute, scratch that every fucking second.

But he shook of his thoughts as he could only say “Oh no worries, uhm I’ll just- I’ll go then.” the words didn’t come out of his mouth so confidently so his attitude was confusing to him. But she smiled at the boy as he excused himself.

He takes a boat out

Imagines just sailing away (away, away)

And not telling his mates (not telling his mates)

He wouldn't know what to say (wouldn't know what to say, to say)

Draco went to his dorm feeling more stupid than ever, he wished he didn’t have his stupid pride so he could ask you out.

He wished he could be with you. Sometimes he wondered what would happen if out of nowhere he asked you to run away with him, get out of everything.

So you both could be together, with no worries in your mind, nothing but just each other, he wanted you all to himself, not tell anyone anything and just disappear, with you, with his “girlfriend”. He had that thought too many times.

But as usual he knew that was a thought that was never gonna happen, for fuck’s sake the boy couldn’t even talk to you properly, he was stammering his words, which Draco almost never did that, not with anyone.

He always had crushes then and there but it was never as strong as this one. You were on his mind all the time, and he hated that. He wanted to hate you so he could keep you off his mind. But you were nearly impossible to hate.

She (she)

She lives in daydreams with me (she)

She's the first one that I see

And I don't know why

I don't know who she is (she)

She (she)

She's the first one that I see (she)

She lives in daydreams with me

And I don't know why

I don't know where she is (she, she)

Draco wanted to take a nap, with the hopes of seeing you in his dreams, with the hopes of you being his, his girlfriend in his dreams. He wanted to hold you, even if it could only happen in his dreams, he wanted to kiss your little nose and bop it as you giggled at his child likeness.

He wanted to hold you in his arms, not too tightly but soft enough to make him feel comfortable and safe, he wanted to smell your beautiful hair and stroke his hands through it, feeling as if he had found peace, as if he was in heaven.

He wanted to walk with you hand in hand in school corridors, imagining how every guy would be jealous of him, how everyone could see that you were his girlfriend, he wanted to show you off to everyone, he wanted you to be his.

He wanted nothing more than to spend every waking minute with you, hanging out in the common room with you, spending time alone in his dorm with you, cuddled up to each other as he watched you take a nap in his arms, smiling at the gorgeous girl in front of him.

Hell he even wanted to read some of your stupid books or even better read it out to you so he could do the things you loved. He wanted so much with you. But he just couldn’t bring himself to it, so he just did what he could do best.

Meet with you in his dreams.

Lives for the memory

A woman who's just in his head (Just in his head)

And she sleeps in his bed (His bed)

While he plays pretend (Pretend)

So pretend (Pretend)

This dream he had was something else. This time he couldn’t shake this dream, it was perfect, he couldn’t have had it better, it was him finally asking you out, you two going on cute dates, him doing everything he dreamed of doing with you, him holding you, comforting you, both of you being there for each other.

This dream was exactly what he has always desired, but it was just a dream, that thought infuriated him, he wanted more, he was tired of the dreams, he wanted you, in reality. He had to do something he knew that.

He got out of his bed, in an anger, angry at himself for being a huge pussy and not doing anything this whole time, he quickly checked the mirror to fix his look because a 3 hour nap can really fuck you up.

He quickly left his dorm, door shutting as he exited, he literally speed through the stairs, almost tripping because of his speed, he looked for you at the common house but of course you weren’t there, it had been 3 fucking hours, he mentally cursed himself as he wandered around the castle, his eyes searching for you hell even asking for you to people around.

He saw one of your friends as he approached your friend to ask for you, your friend was dumbfounded by the boy in front of him but pointed her finger to a Y/N sitting on the entrance of the castle with a book in your hand. Draco hurriedly went by your side.

She (She), she lives in daydreams with me (She)

She's the first one that I see, and I don't know why

I don't know who she is (She, she)

She (She), she's the first one that I see (She)

She lives in daydreams with me, and I don't know why

I don't know where she is (She, she)

“Y/N” he said as he smiled at your concentrated face, “Draco.” she smiled at the boy in front of her as she got up leaving the book on the ground, fixing herself up. Draco got closer to her just a mere inches away from her and she felt her breath hitch. “Do you n-need anything?” She said stammering as she was confused but excited by the boy’s actions.

“Just this.” Draco said as he closed the little gap in front of them by smashing his lips onto Y/N’s, Y/N was surprised at first unable to react to Malfoy, but she eventually comprehended everything and Draco could feel her lips moving against his, the feeling of her soft lips against Draco’s made his knees grew weaker, he was internally freaking out as he finally got the courage to do what he wanted, he happily kissed her, mouths intertwined with each other, Draco groaned a little when Y/N pulled away, having some questions for the boy.

But the boy, gave her no time for anything as he was on a confident roll, and did not want that to go away “Do you wanna go out with me? Like maybe tomorrow at Hogsmeade’s?” He said wanting to sound confident but the words coming out of his mouth were very quick, causing Y/N to comprehend what just happened.

Y/N looked at the boy confused at first, but then a smile formed onto her lips, showing off the dimples Draco would die for, “I would pretty much love that, Malfoy.” The girl said as she pulled Draco for another kiss.

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rpmusingsforthesoul · 3 years ago

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This is Us Season 5 Sentence Starters

(feel free to change pronouns)

“Can we change the channel? Please? Just for a minute.”

“Check it out. 100% tremor free.”

“I’ve battled with that stuff. I’m battling it now.”

“Alright, old man. Meet you downstairs for some birthday breakfast. Don’t forget your dentures.”

“Someone unpause this man, please.”

“Help! Somebody help me, please!!”

“I don’t like to talk about that part of my life. That part of my life before here. Before you.”

“So I’ve been thinking and I’ve got some exciting things to tell you.”

“I think I love you.”

“Sir, are you high right now?”

“Is sh-she gone?…I-Is she gone?”

“Yeah, he’s jacked up for sure.”

“They say check on your strong friends…Checking.”

“You wanna tell me what happened?”

“I prayed my kids would turn out better than I did.”

“I don’t mean to toot my own horn, but I put my foot up in these pancakes.”

“___, you know you have absolutely nothing to prove to me, right?”

“I’m never leaving this bed. You cannot make me.”

“I would like you to tell me his name. I would like you tell me where I can find him. And I would like to kill him.”

“I’m gonna need some absinthe tonight.”

“___, where have you been? And don’t even fix your mouth to tell me a lie.”

“Get off of me! I’m not drowning!”

“You can’t keep doing this to yourself. If you don’t let the guilt go, it’ll strangle you.”

“Hey, have I mentioned how much of a freaking warrior you are?”

“___, get back here right now!”

“You wanna be on time? Get your own car.”

“I feel like there’s the person I was before I went to the hospital and the person I am now…I barely remember who that girl was.”

“Oh good. I love a dinner with something to prove.”

“I’ve lived alone a really long time. And I’ve been stuck. And anything good that would ever happen to me it just seemed…it just seemed impossible. But here I am. I made it.”

“Hmm…the ring feels kinda stuck…it’s stuck.

“It was a cute proposal, ___. I would have said yes.”

“There’s only one person that I owe an explanation to and that is the one person I can never give one to. I certainly don’t owe one to you.”

“What do you want? I’m not a mind reader. I’m asking you, what do you want from me?”

“No, man. You can’t break a window.”

“It is a prison, ___. Having to show gratitude and nothing but gratitude all the damn time.”

“I can’t believe we looked for an hour and they were in your freaking pocket.”

“I never wanted to be special, man. I just wanted to blend in like everybody else.”

“Dude, you drank ‘cause you’re a drunk.”

“I can’t even pick out your best quality__. There’s too many.”

“Every time you get your hopes up for me, I just disappoint you. You should probably stop putting yourself through that.”

“You always believed I would find myself again. How?”

“I’m just not sure how much more failure I can take.”

“I know the feeling of having your dreams cut at the knees.”

“You do know you’re the most impressive person I know, right?”

“Well I’m not gonna stop coming to you for pep-talks anytime soon.”

“Did you seriously just ruin the show for me?!”

“It feels like everyone wants a version of me that isn’t me.”

“I need inside air.”

“I’ve never really given you an explanation, have I?”

“No no no, I’ve let you let me off the hook far too many times.”

“I knew things and I hid them and I’m very ashamed.

“I know it’s way too late to say this, but I need to say this very clearly. I am so sorry.

“There’s no easy way to say this. I think our relationship has gone as far as it can go, ___.”

“Are you in love with me?”

“My mother gave me these and then she left. She left me with a father who gave me nothing.”

“I have stumbled through life gratefully accepting any scraps of affection anyone would give me.”

“Your family has given me the first family I have ever had and it would be so easy for me to tip-toe around the fact that you may not be in love with me.”

“I can’t marry someone who’s not in love with me. I know it’s ironic, but you have finally made me realize that I am worthy of that.”

“Hey, let’s keep talking! Five minutes, five minutes until the hospital.”

“Me having a cocktail might save your life.”

“Ahh I looked at it again, ___! Distract me!”

“I wanna hit you, but I also wanna kiss you.”

“Okay, you being moody I can handle, but comparing us to our parents is a bridge too far.”

“You’re not even gonna pretend to be interested?”

“Hey hey hey, let it go, ___!___, let it go!”

“I was terrified of being like my father and you were terrified of not being like yours. We’ve both wasted a lot of time being quietly terrified.”

“I’m glad that you have a thing with ___, but you’re suppose to think of me first.”

“You wanna go through ___’s Instagram and trash-talk?”

“I’m sorry I showed up unannounced. I recognize it’s kind of weird.”

“I didn’t know you had a huge knuckle!”

“Well you’re no stranger to helping yourself to whatever you want.”

“Go in there and do what you always do; blow us all away.

“You are too young and too smart and too strong to not find new dreams and go for them.”

“You don’t suck the air out of the room. You are the air.”

“You’re my day one.”

“I did not tread lightly.”

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emberidzae · 2 years ago

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Nona the Ninth John chapter verses

After finishing going through the symbols in the chapter headings I wasn’t sure about doing the same for the verses referred to in the John chapters, because it seems that someone had solved those as a code, but there are quite a few pretty good ones that feel relevant, so let’s go. I am no bible scholar and have next to zero Christian background so I’m keeping the parallels discussion within brackets and am mostly going to describe the chapter. Quotes from the New International Version.

John 20:8 – “Finally the other disciple, who had reached the tomb first, also went inside. He saw and believed.” John begins his story of the end of Earth. At the end its revealed he’s talking to Harrow (who had, of course, reached the Tomb first).

John 5:20 – “For the Father loves the Son and shows him all he does. Yes, and he will show him even greater works than these, so that you will be amazed.” John’s cryo plan is scrapped but when the electricity maintaining their experimental bodies is shut, the bodies he touched stayed incorruptible. (the first miracle, the start of his great work)

John 15:23 – “Whoever hates me hates my Father as well.” John's necromantic ability keeps developing up to the point where he can move dead bodies, and names Ulysses and Titania. (not sure on this one)

John 5:18 – “For this reason they tried all the more to kill him; not only was he breaking the Sabbath, but he was even calling God his own Father, making himself equal with God.” The group continues figuring out what John can and cannot do, attempt to figure out how they can use this ability to help the save the Earth, and get attention to themselves by streaming. (‘Two scientists, an engineer, a detective, a lawyer, and an artist walk into a bar to help me become God’)

John 8:1 – “but Jesus went to the Mount of Olives.” (This verse is the beginning of John 8:1-11 where people gathered to be taught by Jesus, where he proclaims of the woman caught in the act of adultery “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.”) People start coming to see John and he heals some of them. The government calls his group a cult and attempt a police raid. John makes the cow wall. (tenuous, but some parallels with the gathering of people and an attempt by those in power to undermine what is perceived as a cult?)

John 19:18 – “There they crucified him, and with him two others—one on each side and Jesus in the middle.” John’s group faces severe political backlash. John starts attempting a true resurrection and figuring out the soul. They discover that their old backers were making a new plan involving FTL, which they think is incredibly suspicious, and dismissed their old cryo plan with the criticisms they made themselves. (ouch)

John 5:1 – “Some time later, Jesus went up to Jerusalem for one of the Jewish festivals.” (The beginning of John 5:1-9, where Jesus tells the invalid “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.” and at once cures him) John gets approached by an unnamed group to fake the life of their dead leader. The FTL project gets international approval and the group’s objections get ignored. They find out their client is a nation-state and A- and M- negotiate them a nuke. (I can see John quoting "Get up! Pick up your mat and walk” as he puppets the guy around, just for kicks)

John 3:20 – “Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed” The FTL backers lie like hell in the face of John’s evidence that they weren’t building enough ships to meet their claims. John leans hard into the necromancer cult thing. (this verse is so alarmingly relevant that I’m marvelling how Tamsyn Muir puts in a code at the same time)

John 9:22 – “His parents said this because they were afraid of the Jewish leaders, who already had decided that anyone who acknowledged that Jesus was the Messiah would be put out of the synagogue.” (this verse refers to Jesus healing the blind man and the disbelief in his miracle) John gets a lot of new cultists. A gunfight breaks out among them and five people die, John uses their deaths to kill everyone in the vicinity with a firearm. (don’t think there’s a direct link here)

John 1:20 – “He did not fail to confess, but confessed freely, “I am not the Messiah.”” John kills Earth and the whole solar system, creates Alecto, and fails to stop the trillionaires from escaping. (this one is just. wow)

John 5:4 – “For an angel went down at a certain season into the pool, and troubled the water: whosoever then first after the troubling of the water stepped in was made whole of whatsoever disease he had.” (This verse comes from the King James Bible, because apparently its not found in most modern translations.) Harrow asks John her questions and they skim through the resurrection itself and what comes after. John says there’ll be no forgiveness, not for himself nor those who left. Harrow decides to find out what happened to the souls that didn’t enter the River, to understand God for herself, and steps into the River, walking towards the Tower. (Harrow would be so upset at being compared to an angel, which amuses me. I love that this ‘missing’ controversial verse is for the chapter where Harrow and John break character from the dream and Harrow questions John’s narrative.)

#The Locked Tomb #The Locked Tomb spoilers #Nona the Ninth #Nona the Ninth spoilers #heck this was long

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whats-ahead · 2 years ago

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End’s Ahead

Hey everyone! It’s been awhile since we last update here!

The next update post we were going to make was on how we finally cracked the code on Len and the whole reason on how he was not working was the fact that he was always suppose to be close to his dad but Adele was always closer to his dad than him so we were scrapped Len AND Gale and made them into two entirely different characters, swapping their roles.

Having Roman, Brendan’s son, be Adele’s mentor figure who’s a bit older. Pokemon ranger who gets sent into the distortion world that everyone needs to go save. Adele is close with the Birch’s and since Roman is older it’s not that she was competing for Brendan’s attention and was more of an unofficial younger sibling.

Matchi, Wally’s nibling (genderfluid) he got custody of (intentionally Io parallels). Coordinator, Adele’s best friend. Fit the slot Len used to fit. And we worked everything out, we had to scrap Larentia entirely, change Ber’s trainer class, and so much other plot stuff but it doesn’t matter.

Because neither of us really care for having pokeani fankids.

For some this might seem it’s coming out of no where but honestly for me, I feel it’s been a long time coming. We haven’t really cared about the anime in years. I think you can tell because the only anime ships we have really only fit in gen 4 and before. Even then, the only anime ships we ever actually really liked we used on this were Ash & May and Dawn & Gary. Everything else was just checking off a checklist.

Like ‘oh we need a Misty Kid, let’s make Bridge’ ‘We need a Cilan kid, we’ll make Eclair’. It wasn’t actually because we cared about the ships those kids are attached to.

But we liked the kids we had and we liked making them so we didn’t really see the point in changing anything. I stand by that a lot of these kids mean so much to me. We’ve had them for over 7 years (they’ve been a thing longer than this blog has been) I wouldn’t trade them for the world.

As some of you know I recently (without Craig) made some game verse kids and it made me realize that I actually like having fankids for the sake of them being fankids. Which I know sounds self explanatory, that’s what it should be. I like thinking about them with their parents, how that effects them. How they act when they’re little all the good stuff. Their relationship with their parents is a key factor of part of the reason I like the game verse kids. I could take away the parental relationship with literally all of the kids on this blog and still feel the exact same amount them.

So that’s exactly what I pitched to Craig what we do. Take all of the kids we like/want to keep around, redesign them, and make them ocs. And it’s been great! We’ve only done Adele, Jean, Axel and Ike so far but honestly, it makes me feel so much more excited to work on this stuff than I have been in years.

We’re no longer restricted to the anime canon neither of us really care about, we can make as many or as little characters as we want. Characters don’t need to make “sense” to be in certain places in certain times because they’re ocs and we decide everything. It’s great.

As for this blog, I plan to keep it up for archive purposes but don’t plan on updating it. I am taking a few adult designs for my game verse if it works out but some will be lost in time (sadly Submas Hilbert Hilda does not work in my game verse which is the worst that is the worst thing about the blog going down in my opinion).

If anyone’s curious about the current version of the kids I’m likely only going to post them on my art twitter. We might change names for everyone we want to talk it (except Axel it still fits him) but if see me tweeting them under any name (with more to be added later but not on this account) they’re probably kids from here)

In order left to Right Top Bottom: Ike, Matchi (who no we didn’t redesign bc they only existed for a week before we started this), Axel, Jean, Adele

#update #news #if anyone has any questions about how things are going feel free to ask #bc i am willing to be super transparent as possible about everything if people want and stuff

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chocoluckchipz · 4 years ago

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Not a Spying, Not a Fake Date

The day Marinette met Adrien Agreste—the hottest supermodel alive, an only son of fashion icon Gabriel Agreste, and her long-time, embarrassing celebrity crush—was supposed to be the happiest day of her life. Instead, not only did she present herself as a total klutz, but his friend Nino had stolen Alya only two weeks later.

On a Saturday afternoon, no less!

Don’t get her wrong. Marinette was happy that Alya finally was interested in a guy more than the latest scoop. And she absolutely didn't mind skipping one of their weekly get-togethers in favour of her BFF going on a coffee date with their new classmate. Marinette wouldn’t be bored. She could work on one of her projects or play video games… if the day wouldn't be so perfectly gorgeous and sunny. Wasting it inside would’ve been a crime. A walk around a local farmer’s market, on the other hand, sounded just about right. And if said market happened to be across the street from where her friend was meeting Nino, that was a pure coincidence.

Nothing more. Nothing less.

Marinette was absolutely not spying on anyone, and if she glanced the couples’ way once or twice, it was only to appease her morbid curiosity. No harm done. She wasn’t interfering. She couldn’t even hear what the two of them were talking about. Surely not about Adrien. Or her. Or her and Adrien. Nope. No way. Impossible. She wasn’t curious at all.

“You know you aren’t very subtle?”

Marinette froze, her blood running cold. She knew that voice. It was ingrained in her memory by now. But there was no way Adrien Agreste was standing right behind her, whispering in her ear. It must be nothing but a product of her imagination. Yes! A hallucination of a post-pubescent girl with a crush of irrational proportions.

Still, she spun around just to check if it was time to make an appointment with a therapi—

Her jaw hit the floor, eyes widening. The man in front of her sounded like Adrien, yet he barely looked the part. Most of his hair was hidden under a beanie, a pair of glasses framed his face. Baggy, black clothes covered his body. His chiselled jaw sported a light stubble, and a hippy backpack was slung over his shoulders. Not a shred of his classy self left, replaced by a sexy, casual chic version of the man.

“Adrien?”

He winked. “Looking beautiful as always, Princess.”

Her cheeks flamed despite her knowing better. He’d given her that nickname only because she was a clumsy mess, not because he was trying to flirt. Princess, aka "damsel in distress", someone in need of being saved. In her case, frequently being caught before she hit the ground as she kept tripping around him. Stupid Agreste and his stupidly handsome face.

A movement in the cafe caught her eye, and Marinette nervously grinned. Adrien was Nino’s best friend. There was no way he wouldn't know where Nino was taking Alya for their first date, which meant Marinette better be very careful in her words and actions, or else she wouldn’t be the damsel for much longer. The title of a “Creepy Stalker” didn't sound the bit least appealing to her.

“You look nice too,” she said, looking her best innocent self. “Different. I barely recognized you. I like the glasses. And stubble. Stubble is nice. Little of it. Not too much. Too much would look shabby. But yours looks good. Perfect. Not shabby at all.”

He chuckled, a corner of his lips curling into a smile. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“You should. It was one. A compliment.”

“Why, thank you.”

Another couple left the cafe, catching both of their attention. Marinette quickly shifted her gaze to the apples at the stall she was standing by. As long as she acted natural, Adrien wouldn't suspect a thing.

“So, what are you doing here today?”

She inwardly groaned and stashed a few apples in a paper bag. “Apples. I’m here for the apples.”

“What a coincidence.” Adrien picked one of the red ones and twirled it in his hand. “I’m here for the apples too. By the way… Nino just asked for the bill, so if you were planning to do more shopping in other places, I’d say that’s our cue to pay for these and get ready to leave.”

Marinette glared his way, her whole face burning up. That cocky smile, that glint in his eyes. Of course, he’d catch her. But she wouldn’t give up so easily or she wasn’t Marinette Dupain-Cheng: her papa’s pumpkin, her mother’s sweetheart, the future of Paris’ fashion! “I’m not spying on anyone if that’s what you’re implying.”

“I wouldn't dare to accuse you of such a thing.” He grinned, putting the apple back. “But… may I suggest a few tweaks to your disguise? You know, in case you’re still up for some non-spying activities today.”

“I don’t need any tweaks. I’ve been here for an hour, and they haven’t noticed me. I could tail them all day if I wanted to, and they would not notice me.”

She froze, the last of her hopes to escape this unscathed vanishing right before her eyes. Curse this man! It was his fault her brain was shutting down around him.

The corner of Adrien’s lips curled in a smile as he leaned closer. “You might be well hidden amongst the rainbow of produce here, but, believe me, as soon as you step outside, that bright red hoodie of yours will give you away instantly.”

“In your dreams,” Marinette huffed, folding her arms over her chest. “This hoodie is the only thing in my closet Alya hasn't seen yet. My sunglasses cover half of my face, and I let my hair down instead of my usual ponytails. They would never recognize me.”

“Well, I did, didn’t I?”

“That’s because you came close. They are at a distance.”

“Nino will notice someone trailing them in a bright red hoodie. Believe me, that man lets no detail escape him. But give me five minutes, and your own parents won’t recognize you even up close.”

She quirked an eyebrow. “What for? The date is over.”

“Far from it. Nino planned coffee, a walk around the city, and a movie. He bought the tickets this morning.”

Adrien seemed to be confident in what he was saying, but Marinette couldn’t trust someone she’d recently met over her best friend, even if she was in love with him. “I don’t believe you.”

“There is only one way to find out if I’m lying.” He stretched his hand towards her. “Shall we?”

Shall they what? Why was he even here? She had to get out of the house for physical rest and mental health. What was his excuse?

“And what are you doing here, M Agreste?”

“I told you already.” The corners of his lips curled up in a sly grin. “Apples.”

“Right. And you went all out on a disguise for that?”

“Precisely.” He grinned wider. “I also knew Nino was having a date nearby, and being the great friend I am, I didn’t want them to see me and think I’m spying on them.”

She wanted to smack that shit-eating grin off his face. But Nino and Alya were exiting the cafe, and Adrien tilted his head to the side, his hand still outstretched toward her. “So? Want to not spy on them some more, or do you have other plans for the day?”

No, she didn’t, and perhaps she should be smarter, but something inside her was melting by the second, Adrien’s smile slowly massacring any scraps of reason she still had. “If you tell anyone, I’ll deny every word.”

“No one shall ever know.” He grinned. “Now, may I suggest a few tweaks to your disguise? To minimize our chances of being discovered.”

“Fine, but be quick. They are walking away.”

Adrien nodded and pointed to her hoodie. “Take this off.”

There was no time for questions, so she silently obeyed. The moment Marinette removed the garment, Adrien was already pulling his black sweater over her head.

“Wait! What are you—“

“Black is less conspicuous.”

“But what about you? It’s chilly, and your shirt doesn’t look very warm.”

“I’ll be fine. I wore that sweater for fashion, not because I was cold.” Stuffing her hoodie in his backpack, he looked her over once more. His face suddenly brightened. He grabbed her hand and pulled her out to the street in the direction of the nearest convenience store.

“We don’t have time for this,” Marinette protested as they neared the door of said establishment. “We’ve already lost them.”

“No, we didn't. We might not see them, but I know where they are.”

“I know that, too,” she grumbled. “In Paris. Where else? Europe, Eurasia. Planet Earth, Solar system. Hard to miss if you fly toward the Sun. ”

Adrien laughed. Long and heartfelt, the sound of his laughter brightened the space around them. There was still a glint of joy in his eye and a hint of mischief in his voice when he recomposed himself. “Nino spent hours planning their route yesterday, and yours truly was helping him. I know where they are headed. We’ll catch up.”

Hesitantly relenting, she followed him in the store, and once inside, Adrien disappeared somewhere between the rows. When he walked out, he was carrying a hairbrush, a couple of pins and hair ties, a small mirror, a plastic tablecloth, and a can of temporary hair dye. Quickly paid for, Adrien pulled her into the nearby alley. "Do you trust me enough for a blind makeover?"

A loaded question. She hardly knew anything about the man behind the carefully crafted image of his public persona. But Marinette loved surprises, and it wasn’t like Adrien even had anything that could potentially cause serious damage to her appearance in his hands.

“You aren’t going to cut my hair, are you?”

“Wouldn’t dare to even think about it.”

“Strangle me with that tablecloth?”

“It’s to protect your clothes from the dye. And before you freak out, it’s a temporary one. It’ll wash out with the first shower.”

At least it was pink—her favourite colour. "Don't make me regret this, Agreste."

“I promise, you won’t.”

She sent a glare his way. “If I do, you’re dead.”

Adrien laughed and slightly bowed. “Your trust means the world to me, Princess. Now, if you’ll allow me, I shall start.”

Marinette nodded, removing the sunglasses from her face. Adrien quickly draped the plastic tablecloth around her shoulders. The moment his hands ran through her hair, her brain short-circuited. It felt like heaven. Pleasant tingles cascaded down her skin at every touch as he brushed, tied, and clipped for what felt like an eternity yet was way too short of a period before he whispered in her ear, “Close your eyes and hold your breath for me for a moment.”

That would not be a problem; Marinette wasn’t sure she was breathing for the last few minutes anyway. He was too close. She could feel the heat of his body, the warmth of his breath, and that was doing things to her she’d rather not experience in a random alley off a busy street in the middle of Paris.

Oblivious to her internal turmoil, Adrien sprayed her hair with the temporary hair dye and proudly pronounced his job finished. The plastic tablecloth off her shoulders, he pushed a small mirror in her hands. “You can open your eyes and look now.”

Her speech was gone the moment her eyes caught her reflection. Most of her bangs were pinned back in the middle, only some of the hair framing her face on either side. The rest was gathered in two cute, messy buns on top of her head that had pink highlights all over them, something the tips of her bangs sported as well. It was a look she’d never thought of doing herself, yet somehow found herself loving more with each passing moment.

“Not bad,” she said, a ghost of a smile on her lips. “Are you secretly a stylist by any chance?”

Adrien chuckled, putting her sunglasses back on her nose. “Nope. But I did grow up in a fashion tycoon’s house watching makeup artists transform people to an unrecognizable degree with simple tricks.”

“Well, you have a talent, M Agreste. I really like this.”

"Why, thank you." Adrien grinned. "I do like the outcome, too. You were always cute, but now you're straight-up adorable. Like a little mouse. An extremely lovely little mouse. ”

Marinette looked away, taking a step towards a street. He wasn’t flirting. He was just complimenting his own work. He wasn’t flirting. “As long as Alya doesn’t recognize me.”

“She won’t.” Adrien followed her. “Hey! Maybe we should hold hands and pretend to be on a date? They’ll never figure us out if we do that.”

Her eyes widened as he offered her his hand. “Are you… are you asking me on a fake date?”

“Do you want me to ask you on a fake date?”

“I’ve never liked anything fake,” she huffed. “Says a lot about one’s character.”

Adrien chuckled. “Then it’s good that all I’m asking is to hold hands. For a better disguise, of course. Not faking. Real hand-holding.”

An earnest smile on his lips, he stepped closer, silently waiting for her reply.

Marinette swallowed, her eyes falling to his outstretched hand, one that looked more and more appealing to hold by the second. How would it feel to have her palm in his? If she chickened out now, she might not get another chance to find out. “Only for the purpose of a disguise.”

"Only for that," Adrien assured, entwining their fingers together, his gaze on her soft and gentle. "Allow me to be your guide on this non-spying, not-a-fake-date mission, Princess."

His words fell on deaf ears as Marinette struggled to keep her composure. Big, strong, and very warm. Somehow safe and secure. Like a lover’s embrace. Holding Adrien’s hand was everything Marinette didn’t know she needed up until now.

He must have noticed something was amiss, cracking a dumb joke to break the awkwardness as they started their walk. Marinette tried her best not to laugh, but Adrien kept going, each joke worse than the preceding one. Ten minutes in, and she couldn't believe she ever had a crush on this… man-child. Adrien was the dorkiest dork she'd ever met. A dork who asked too many questions. So many it felt like he wanted to know everything there was to Marinette. She didn't mind. There were quite a few things she wanted to know about Adrien, as well, and what better way to ask if not as a retaliation to his inquiries?

About an hour later, they spotted Nino and Alya on a promenade by the Seine, walking hand in hand just like them. Her friend beamed, laughing so hard, Marinette could swear there were tears in Alya’s eyes. Nino looked no less happy, grinning at Alya with a satisfied look on his face. A smile found its way onto Marinette’s face. Adrien watched them mesmerized, slightly tightening his grip on her hand.

“Everything looks good,” he said, turning to her. “Their next stop should be a music shop a few blocks away, and there are a few cafes just across the street. Want to get a headstart and have an early lunch?”

Marinette nodded. She could use a drink or two right now. A nice large glass of the cold water because Adrien seemed to take their… whatever-this-was way too seriously, being all attentive and gentlemanly and extra charming, and if not for his assurance they were not on a date, Marinette would’ve surely thought otherwise. Just as she suspected, her silly crush on this man seemed to slowly be turning into something more than a simple attraction. Something different. Something deeper and more profound.

“Awesome!” Adrien grinned, turning back to the town. “I’ll buy us movie tickets once we’re there. Where do you want to sit? I prefer the middle, but I’m pretty sure Nino got the middle row seats, so that’s a bit risky. Shall we try for the back row?”

A pinch of guilt nagged at Marinette. Another glance at their friends in the distance and she stopped, slowly pulling her hand from Adrien’s grasp, mourning the loss with every inch lost. “Perhaps, we should stop here.”

He halted his steps, looking down. Seemed like she wasn't the only one feeling guilty about this. “You’re right. This wasn't a good idea.”

“They deserve more than two stalkers for friends.”

“They do. I was just too curious. This is the first time Nino’s been so crazy about someone.”

“So you decided to secretly third wheel them?”

He gave her an unimpressed look. “You don’t get to judge me. We’re in the same boat in this. Apples and all.”

Marinette couldn't hold back a snicker.

Adrien interlocked his fingers behind his head, a glimmer of mischief in his eyes. “I was really looking forward to that movie, though.”

“You’ll live.”

“Will I?”

“Absolutely, you big baby. Just go watch it by yourself if you want it so much.”

“But that’s not fun.”

“Better than stalking your friend on his date.”

“Then perhaps I should get my own. A date, I mean. For the movies.”

Marinette fell silent, her chest tightening. A guy like Adrien could have any girl he wished. And while she didn't think herself to be worse than anyone else, what were the chances he’d want her when girls like Kagami Tsurugi openly confessed their love to him?

“I guess you could,” she said, pulling out her cellphone to get an Uber.

“Then will you?”

“Will I what?”

“Go to the movies with me? Lunch and movies. A date. A real one. Nothing fake about it.” He was looking straight at her, a trembling smile on his lips, a soft glint in his eyes.

She blinked once. Twice. Her ears must be deceiving her. “Me?”

He nodded. “You.”

“But… Why?”

“Because I like you.” He stepped closer. “Because ever since you fell into my arms that first day, I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

“Excuse me, but I did not fall into your arms!” Marinette huffed. Amazing or not, she wouldn't allow him to trample her reputation like that. “I just tripped, and you happened to stand in the trajectory of my fall. Or rather, you moved into it because, if my memory isn’t failing me—and my memory never fails me—you almost ran across the room to catch me.”

Adrien laughed. “Guilty as charged, but can you blame me? You’re amazing, Marinette. You’re smart and brave and confident and so very beautiful. A guy like me could only dream of being worthy of your attention.”

“You kidding me, right? A guy like you can have any girl he wants.”

“But there is only one I need,” he purred, leaning closer. “Her name is Marinette Dupain-Cheng, and I’d be the happiest man alive if she’d give me a chance. I’m prepared to beg on my knees if that’s what it’ll take.”

Somehow, her hand was in his. He brought it to his lips and laid a lingering kiss on her knuckles. How could she say no to those eyes and that confident smoulder with a hint of childish worry behind it? The way she felt about him, she wouldn't want to say no even if her life depended on it. Marinette kept her eyes on Adrien's when she shifted her hand in his grasp, entwining their fingers together. "Only if we go to a different movie theatre. I don't want to run into Alya and have to explain things."

“Sounds good to me.”

“And we’re getting soulmate ice cream at Andre’s before that. I want to check if we’re meant to be before I commit to anything.”

Adrien laughed, pulling Marinette into a hug. “I’m pretty sure I won’t even have to bribe the man to get the result I want.”

“You’re way too confident, M Agreste, you know that, right?”

“Only when it really matters.”

“And is this one of those situations?”

His gaze soft and loving, Adrien leaned down, his lips gently brushing against the flustered skin of her cheek. “You’re at the top of my ‘Really Matters’ list, Mlle Dupain-Cheng.”

Another kiss to her nose, he lingered for a moment before whispering, “May I kiss you the way I know you want me to kiss you now? Or shall I wait until the end of our date?”

There was only one answer Marinette could give him. “Right now would be perfect.”

***

This is a reworked chapter from my upcoming "Dreams of You" story. If you're planning on reading it, don't be surprised to see part of this as one of the chapters. Hope you'll enjoy both of them!

#miraculous ladybug #adrienette #adrinetteapril2021 #first date #fluff #they're stalkers and they know it #aged up

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harlequinmoss · 3 years ago

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Aaahhh I haven't written anything in a really long time but I wanted to do something for pride month before it was over cutting it real close I know so here's a little coming out story with José and Panchito. It's set in the 40s because I refuse to write any other versions of them

Panchito and José arrived at their hotel around 10pm. It had been a long day for the both of them, each coming in from a long flight overseas that morning in order to visit their pal, Donald. Donald had picked them up from the airport and the group had a fun day doing touristy things, but after dinner the pair had grown noticeably exhausted. Not having enough space in his own home to comfortably house the both of them, Donald offered to put them up in a hotel room for the night rather than having them crash on the sofa in the living room. It took a bit of coercion, neither wanting to be rude, they were guests after all, but in the end they were too tired not to be easily convinced.

"I'll at least call a taxi over there," Panchito had insisted. "That way you aren't out driving so late."

"It's hardly late at all, but fine. I called ahead and made the reservation so you just have to pick up the key when you get there."

Panchito thumbed through his wallet to pay the taxi driver, thanking them as he handed them the money. He got out of the car, went around to the other side, and opened the door for José who was still fumbling around for his hat that he'd misplaced under the seat.

"There you are!" José started, smiling as he spotted the familiar straw headpiece and put it back in its rightful place upon his noggin. He turned to grab the door handle only to see Panchito waiting for him on the sidewalk instead.

"Oh! Panchie, what a gentleman…" He beamed, taking Panchito's hand for support as he stepped out of the vehicle. "Muito obrigado."

"You're very welcome." Panchito smiled back, shutting the door with a thunk once José was out of the way. "Mind getting the key while I grab our bags?"

"Certainly…" José nodded. "Meet you inside."

José tipped his hat and disappeared through the building's revolving door and into the lobby. Panchito took a moment to watch him go before remembering what it was he was supposed to be doing. He sighed to himself before making his way over to the trunk and popping it open. Holding his breath, he removed both of their suitcases from the taxi and set them on the sidewalk beside the car. He then shut the trunk a bit hard, too distracted to be mindful of his strength, and waved the driver off.

Feelings like this arose whenever he was alone with José. He did his best to suppress them, to act normal like the rest of his friends, but it wasn't easy. A part of him dreaded what was about to come. Sharing a hotel room, sure it was just for one night, and they'd have separate beds, but that didn't make it any easier.

"It'll be fine," Panchito told himself. "I just need to take a moment to compose myself and then I'll go inside. We're both tired. We'll probably end up passing out right away and tomorrow we'll reconvene with Donal and everything will be back to normal."

Panchito took a deep breath. Then another. Then, he grabbed the bags up off the concrete and walked through the revolving door to meet up with José. Perfect timing. José had just gotten out of line for the key and happily waved his friend over as he headed toward the elevator.

"We're in room 313." José proclaimed with a small laugh as Panchito caught up with him. He pressed the button to the elevator, the one on the left immediately opening with a short ding.

"313? Donal did that on purpose no doubt…" Panchito laughed to himself as they stepped inside, refusing to look directly at José.

José nodded, not noticing this avoidance, and he relayed the floor number to the elevator operator who shut the door and brought them up. The two stood in silence in the meantime, their eyes half lidded, both too tired to think of anything else to say. Luckily, the ride wasn't long. The pair thanked the operator on the way out, José tipping them with a spare coin he had in his pocket.

As they headed down the hall, José mumbled the number to himself as if to not forget. 313, 313, spoken softly on repeat in his sweet voice. Panchito held his breath and stared intently down at their luggage. Soon, they arrived, and José quickly turned the key in the lock, extending his other arm as he opened the door.

"After you, Panchie…" José smiled, speaking with such a fondness that Panchito could hardly bear it.

Panchito nodded and started his way in through the door, head down, and José let the arm he had extended wrap around his companion as he followed him inside. Panchito stiffened. Normally, he could shrug off this type of thing, but something was different about tonight. He didn't know why, but every scrap of interaction was much more overwhelming, more amplified. He swallowed and clenched his mouth shut, terrified of what he might say.

"Hm? Are you alright..?" José asked, cocking his head to the side as he watched Panchito move away from his touch in order to set down their luggage. "You've hardly said anything since we left Donal's house…"

"Por supuesto. Sólo estoy cansado…" Panchito sighed. "Just tired…" He repeated again in English.

"Right..." José started, not entirely convinced but not wanting to press the matter. "Let's get ready for bed then."

Again, Panchito only nodded in response. José sighed and made his way next to his friend. Each opened their respective suitcase and retrieved a set of clothes to sleep in. José slightly leaned on Panchito as this motion occurred, just a light brushing of their arms together, but it was enough to send shock waves through Panchito's heart. This type of casual intimacy was something José did with everyone, but Panchito couldn't help thinking that José targeted him more often than anyone else. He was right, though José would never admit it.

"I'll change in the bathroom." Panchito said suddenly, once again moving away from his companion. He quickly disappeared through the bathroom door, leaving José alone and a bit dazed.

José stood silent for a moment, watching the door, a thousand thoughts running through his mind at once.

"Why is Panchie acting so strange tonight? Is he okay? Is it because of me? He's definitely avoiding me, it's not just my imagination, right? If he finally figured out my true feelings it could be out of anger or contempt. Oh God, what am I going to do?"

José noticed his heart racing and scrambled to calm himself down before Panchito returned.

"Okay. It's fine, if he knew, he wouldn't even want to sleep in the same room as me. Just get changed and pretend like everything's normal. We're both tired, it'll all be okay by the morning…"

José sighed. He threw on a plain yellow t-shirt and took off his pants so he just had his boxer shorts on underneath. As he was putting his discarded clothes away in the suitcase, Panchito emerged from the bathroom in a cowboy themed set of pajamas. Both blushed seeing each other and silently made their ways to their respective beds, turning off the bedside lamps that lit the room in the process.

"...good night, José." Panchito said after almost a full minute of silence.

"Good night, Panchito." José responded, refraining from using his nickname in fear it'd make matters worse.

The two lay quietly in the dark, unable to fall asleep despite the day's exhaustion. Both shifted in their beds many times over, transitioning through periods of shut eyes to staring at the ceiling to watching the other while they had their back turned so that there was no risk of being caught. Neither dared speak. Their routine went on for what seemed like the whole night, but probably wasn't more than an hour or two in reality, until…

"José?" Panchito asked in a whisper, trying to field whether or not his companion was awake.

"Sim?" He responded, pushing himself halfway into a sitting position in order to face his friend. "Do you want to tell me what's been bothering you?"

"I...can't. You'll hate me forever." Panchito choked out, covering his face with his hands.

"What?!" José's heart sank. He sat up the rest of the way and flicked on his lamp so that they could see each other. "Panchito, nothing you do or say could ever make me hate you."

Panchito looked over at José through the cracks in his fingers. His face was serious, a tonal shift from the care-free facade he usually put on. Panchito sighed and paused for a moment before sitting up as well.

"I'm not so sure…"

"Por favor me diga o que está errado...please…." José pleaded.

Both sat with lumps in their throat, hoping desperately for something just out of reach, not wanting to break what's already there. Panchito was the first to cry.

"I can't-- every day, every time we hang out together it's all about the girls. 'Oh, look at the pretty señoritas! Let us try and win their affections!' And I have to join in and compete and pretend like that is what I want to do. I do not know how much longer I can take it! I want to be normal, believe me, I wish nothing more, that would make this so much easier but--"

"Panchito..?" José mumbled, tears streaming down both of their faces at this point.

"But I do not care about the señoritas, not hardly, I never have. I have to pretend. For your sake. And Donal's. The two of you are my very best friends and I do not want to lose either of you but...but...es tan difícil fingir….I can't say it. It's not right, it's not even legal, is it? But how am I supposed to go on like this when the person whose affections I want to be competing for is…"

As he spoke, José made his way over to Panchito's bed without him noticing, sitting next to him for a moment before deciding it'd be better to kneel in order for them to be the same height.

"Panchie…" José sighed and wrapped Panchito in a warm hug. "It's okay…"

"No it's not! How can you say that when--"

"Shh…" José turned Panchito’s head to face him and tenderly cupped his cheeks as he wiped away tears from his eyes. He then placed a soft kiss to the top of his forehead.

Panchito's eyes widened, his breath caught in his throat, startling him enough to cause him to stop crying. He looked at José with a dumbfounded expression, José only smiling back at him softly.

"You don't have to pretend anymore. Not with me. How about we trade one secret for another, hm?"

Panchito nodded, shaking, still processing everything that just happened.

"Are...are you sure?"

"Of course, don't be silly. I hate the tears, but I'm very happy to hear you feel the same way."

"You mean...you don't care for the señoritas either?"

José laughed.

"I do. But I also care for the cavalheiros. And I very much care for you…"

"Oh." Panchito smiled, wrapping his arms around José. The smile didn't last long, however. "What will we tell Donal?"

"Hm. Well, I do not think he would hate us. He does not seem like the type, no? But let's not fret any more about this tonight. We can worry all we want in the morning."

"Okay…" Panchito nodded, taking another moment to process things before laying down and taking José along with him. José let out a small giggle.

"Panchie! What's all this for?"

"Well, we are going to bed, are we not?"

José blinked, quickly understanding Panchito's request. He shifted, entangling himself comfortably in Panchito's arms, his head resting on his chest. He took a moment to listen to the steady beat of Panchito's heart before speaking.

"Yes, I suppose we are…"

The pair once again said their good nights, but this time they fell asleep almost instantly. Neither knew what lay ahead for them in the days to come. Would they tell Donald, or would this be a secret just for the two of them? So many uncertainties, but one thing was certain. They had each other. And that was enough.

#josé carioca #panchito pistoles #jose x panchito #the three caballeros #ttc #disney

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miserablesme · 3 years ago

Text

The Les Miserables Changelog Part 1: Barbican Previews

Hello everyone! I'm starting out a blog which will look at my favorite musical, Les Miserables, and will discuss the various changes it has gone through over time (musically and lyrically). As it turns out, a LOT of edits have been made over the years so this will doubtless be a series with several parts.

This first part may well be the most difficult and will almost certainly be the most incomplete, as previews can be a time of extensive editing and experimentation. At least for the first few weeks or so, it's perfectly possible any one day of previews will be slightly different than any other day. However, I only have access to two audios from the Barbican Theatre previews of Les Miserables, meaning it's likely that lyrical variants exist which I have no way of hearing.

I am aware of the existence of a third audio which is fairly early in the run of previews, as the tape's master has told me that Gavroche's death scene is in its original form (I'll clarify that later). However, that tape has never been traded, and has sadly only been listened to by its master. I am also aware of a video proshot of the Barbican era that exists in the Royal Shakespeare Company library, but currently have no access to it. I plan to inquire about whether I can look at it sometime (though I'm not sure a blog like this is "official" enough to warrant it for research purposes). As such, this comparison only entails the two widely circulated audios from the Barbican run.

Now that we've gotten that cleared up, let's get started!

First, let's look at the opening "Work Song". In the earlier recording I have (let's call it R1), the beginning music (the same tune used, for instance, at the opening of "At the End of the Day" and "One Day More" and for Marius and Cosette's meeting in "The Robbery") stops. Then, a few moments later, the more familiar opening that leads directly into the prologue begins. By the time of the later recording I have (let's call it R2), the scores have been combined so that the first tune directly transitions into the second one.

Meanwhile, in R1 there is a sequence of lines that goes as follows:

I've done no wrong

Sweet Jesus, hear my prayer

Look down, look down

Sweet Jesus doesn't care

I killed a man

He tried to steal my wife

Look down, look down

She wasn't worth your life

I know she'll wait

I know that she'll be true

Look down, look down

She's long forgotten you

Most fans of the musical recognize the middle sequence of lines ("I killed a man" through "She wasn't worth your life") as no longer being lines in the show (for good reason, as we'll get into in a later edition of this blog). However, R2 keeps the lines. Instead, it deletes the third sequence ("I know she'll wait" through "She's long forgotten you"). I have no idea if this lasted only a few performances or made it all the way to the end of the Barbican run, or somewhere in between.

During "On Parole", specifically after Valjean is underpaid for his labor and sings about his frustration, R1 uses a variation of the "Work Song" theme which, to my recollection, is heard nowhere else in the musical. It can be heard here. By R2, it was switched to an in-tune version of the number with a unique opening. The musical retains that version to this day, but in case you can't recall it you can hear it here.

Minus an unintentional line flub in "At the End of the Day" in R2, the two Barbican recordings seem to use the same libretto and score from this point until "The Runaway Cart". At this point, R1 has a rather extensive scene leading up to Valjean saving Fauchelevent, which goes approximately as follows (the dialog is difficult to make out):

(VALJEAN)

Is there anyone here who will rescue the man?

Who will help me to shoulder the weight of the cart?

I will pay any man thirty louis d’or more

I will do it myself if there’s no one who will

We can’t let him die like that down in the street

Can you all watch him die and do nothing at all?

(FAUCHELEVENT)

Don’t approach me, Monsieur Mayor

The cart’s not gonna be holding

Not my poor mother would care if I should die

(TOWNSPEOPLE)

Don't go near him, Monsieur Mayor

There's nothing at all you can do

The old man's a goner for sure

Leave him alone

Most of that dialog is deleted in R2, so that it goes directly from "Who will help me to shoulder the weight of the cart" to "Don't go near him, Monsieur Mayor". I really like the idea of the original version; it seems reasonable that Valjean, having become a more trusted man, would expect the townspeople to help him. It's more meaningful that Valjean is good enough to do what's right when there's more time to establish that no one else is. Having said that, the original version did take quite a while and didn't really contain any relevant information that wasn't in the final version. I think the cut version as heard in R2 is a good compromise and retains the general mood and pacing to make Valjean's ultimate action satisfying (something that can't be said of later cuts, as will be discussed in a future edition of this blog).

Additionally, at the end of the number Javert refers to "the mark upon his skin" in R1 and "the brand upon his skin in R2 (as well as literally every subsequent performance since then to my knowledge). I have no idea if the "mark" line was a minor flub or was actually the original lyric.

"Who Am I?" is an interesting one. The musical content is identical in R1 and R2, but in R1 after his high note, Valjean shouts "You know where to find me!" with emotion so dramatic it sits right on the border between awesome and campy. By contrast, Valjean is totally silent after his high note in R2. Neither version would see its final day just yet, although the latter certainly has become more traditional over time. More on that in future editions.

From this point until "Master of the House" everything is the same between the two recordings. Roger Allam even comes in slightly late in both "Confrontation" scenes (making his line "-jean, at last...")! However, in the opening to "Master of the House" the following lines occur in R1:

(THENARDIER)

My band of soaks, my den of dissolutes

My dirty jokes, my always pissed as newts

My sons of whores

Spend their lives in my inn

Homing pigeons flying in

They fly through my doors

And their money's good as yours

(CUSTOMERS)

Ain't got a clue what he put into his stew

Must've scraped it off the street

Hell, what a wine

Châteauneuf de Turpentine

Must've pressed it with his feet

Landlord over here

Where's the bloody man

One more for the road

One more slug of gin

Just one more or my old man is gonna do me in

All of those lines would be scrapped in R2. Personally I prefer this shortened variant than the one that would occur much later. Sure, some fun moments get lost, but nothing that actually adds any substance or characterization to the musical (unlike the later cut, which I'll discuss in a later edition of this blog). Some have speculated that this is simply lost dialog due to a tape flip of degrading, given that future performances would retain those lines. However, there is firsthand confirmation that the cuts were in fact part of the performance. To quote Trevor Nunn on page 87 of 1990's The Complete Book of Les Miserables (a page which elaborates that "the cost of overtime incurred after three hours could be crippling at a time when Les Miserables was still trying to find an audience"):

"Cameron wanted major cuts, which would have reduced its length to two and a half hours. I resisted, refusing to discuss things on those terms... Some of the other proposed cuts - like the removal of the "Master of the House" scene-setting preamble - were tried out in previews and then restored as the scenes would not work without them."

From a historical perspective that quote is invaluable. As will be brought up in a later blog post (notice a pattern today?) the musical would in fact be cut much later to avoid overtime charges. When people like myself have expressed the opinion that these cuts come at the expense of artistic integrity, I've seen others defend them by claiming that the overtime costs never were relevant to Cameron and the gang until Broadway sales began to go down, and that if they were taken into account the musical may well be in its shortened form from the beginning. However, this quote proves that argument to be false. Right from day one, the crew was aware that retaining a >3 hour runtime would come with severe financial costs, but this was deemed a worthy sacrifice in order to tell the story they wanted told. Indeed, it sounds like Cameron Mackintosh was waiting quite some time to enact his infamous cuts! (Cameron Mackintosh valuing profit above art?! Crazy, right??)

But I digress. Going back to the musical, the "Waltz of Treachery" number is mostly the same. However, after Valjean's "It won't take you too long to forget" line, R1 has over a minute of wordless vamping which leads right into the rather awkwardly-placed "Stars" song. By contrast, in R2 this vamping (which is still a minute long, mind you) leads into a humming duet between Little Cosette and Valjean, similar to the duet right before the number. A nice little bookend that makes the scene feel all the more resolved. (Much later this duet reprise would ironically be scrapped again, though!) The remaining segment of R1's vamping now plays after this sequence in R2.

Minus some unintentional missed lines at the beginning of "Stars" in R1, the recordings seem to follow the same libretto right up until "One Day More". Here, R1 uses the following lines:

(EPONINE)

One more day with him not caring

(MARIUS and COSETTE)

Was there ever love so true?

(EPONINE)

What a life I might have known

(MARIUS and COSETTE)

I was born to be with you

However, by R2 this scene is in its current form:

(EPONINE)

One more day with him not caring

(MARIUS and COSETTE)

I was born to be with you

(EPONINE)

What a life I might have known

(MARIUS and COSETTE)

And I swear I will be true

And that closes act one! Going on to the second act, the opening barricade scene has a few changes. First off, following the opening notes, R1 features a rather odd tune bearing resemblance to "Do You Hear the People Sing" (which can be heard here) before transitioning to a more true-to-form instrumental reprise of "Do You Hear the People Sing?" By contrast, R2 goes straight from the opening notes to the true-to-form reprise.

Next, Enjolras proclaims "Have faith in yourself and do not be afraid" in R1, while in R2 he instead states "Every man to his duty and don't be afraid". It's unknown if this was an intentional libretto change or if it simply reflects a flub during R1. A later sequence uses the "Have faith in yourself" line, meaning he may have just sung the wrong line for that particular scene.

Finally, R1 includes the following sequence (at least I think this is how it goes, since the lyrics are a little hard to hear):

(PROUVAIRE)

And the people will fight

(GRANTAIRE)

And join with you

Who gives a speech in the square

Fortunately, R2 uses a much less clunky (though still somewhat so) sequence:

(PROUVAIRE)

And the people will fight

(GRANTAIRE)

And so they might

Some will bark, some will bite

This isn't quite its current form ("dogs" and "fleas" will soon respectively replace the two usages of "some"), but it's pretty darn close.

I've heard that the very first Barbican preview(s?) didn't have a finalized opening to "On My Own". Sadly there is no known audio record of this, so I cannot comment on what exactly it began as. As such, the next major change takes place during Gavroche's death scene. This honestly is probably the biggest of all the changes between the two recordings. R1 uses the following death scene (in the tune of "Look Down" right up until the "So never kick a dog" verse, which is in the tune of "Little People"):

How do you do, my name’s Gavroche

These are my people, here’s my patch

Not much to look at, nothing posh

Nothing that you’d call up to scratch

Some fool, I bet, whose brains are made of fat

Picks up a gun and shoots me down

Nobody told him who he’s shooting at

He doesn’t know who runs this town

Life’s like that

There’s some folk

Missed the joke

That’s three, that’s three

That one has done for me

Too fast, too fast

They’ve got Gavroche at last

So never kick a dog

Because he’s just a pup

You better run for cover when the pup grows...

By contrast, R2 uses a much shorter variant which is set entirely to the tune of "Little People":

And little people know

When little people fight

We may look easy picking but we've got some bite

So never kick a dog

Because he's just a pup

You'd better run for cover when the pup grows up

And we'll fight like twenty armies and we won't give...

This is much closer to its current form, although the last two lines are inverted (we'll get to that in a later edition).

We now fast-forward to "Dog Eats Dog", which while recognizable is very different from the number we know today. The chorus of R1 claims that "It's a dirty great sewer that's crawling with rats", which R2 changes it to "stinking great sewer" instead. I'd definitely say the revised lyric better captures Thenardier's and the sewer's grossness.

Additionally, regarding Marius' ring, Thenardier originally exclaims that he "didn't mean to waste it, that would really be a crime". By R2, the line changes to "wouldn't want to waste it", which I'd say makes a lot more sense.

"Javert's Suicide" has changed a lot. R1 features the following remarks following "Vengeance was his and he gave me back my life":

Damned if I live in this caper of grace

Damned if I live in the debt of Valjean

I'll spit his pity right back in his face

Is this the law or has sanity gone?

(I'm a little unsure as to how accurate the final line is.)

By R2, the lines have been replaced with the current ones:

Damned if I live in the debt of a thief

Damned if I yield at the end of the chase

I am the law and the law is not mocked

I'll spit his pity right back in his face

In R1, the "Where's the new world, now the fighting's done" line is absent, and there is nothing but instrumentals in the segment where it is usually sung. By contrast, it is sung as usual in R2. My guess is that an actress simply forgot her line in R1 and it was always supposed to be there, though I can't say for sure.

The final change occurs at the wedding scene. The singing which opens the number is repeated in R1. By contrast, R2 has it sung once and then done with, as it currently is (and as it should be in my opinion, since the music isn't particularly pretty and contributes nothing to the plot).

Later in the same scene, R1 includes approximately this exchange (again, it's quite hard to make out the exact lyrics):

(THENARDIER)

I was there

Never fear

Even got me this fine souvenir

He was there

Her old dad

*indecipherable* and fleecing this lad

Robbed the dead

That's his way

(MME. THENARDIER)

That's worth five hundred any old day

(MARIUS)

I know this...

By R2, everything between "He was there" and "Any old day" were removed, which makes sense given that they essentially just rehash what was already said.

Finally, there's a subtle difference in the epilogue, specifically during the "Do You Hear the People Sing?" reprise. In R1, the ensemble sings "They will live again in glory in the garden of the Lord". R2 replaces the word "glory" with "freedom", and that word remains the one used to this day. I suppose "freedom" is more appropriate for the context of peace and prosperity. To many, I'd guess that "glory" conjures imagery of knights, battles, and the like; just the kind of violence that the characters wish to move away from! I have no idea if this was why the writers changed the lyric, but it's my hypothesis.

Towards the end of the show, the chorus in R1 sings "Even the darkest moon will end and the sun will rise". By R2, this is changed to "the darkest night". Makes more sense to me, since moons aren't known for being particularly dark!

And that just about sums this part up! If I missed anything feel free to let me know, as my goal is to create a changelog as thorough and complete as possible. I plan on making more parts in the near future covering all the changes that have been made in the show up until this day (discounting concerts). Any feedback and constructive criticism is very much appreciated.

As a side note, both for this project and my own enjoyment, I want as complete a collection of Les Miserables audios as possible. I already have most of what's commonly circulated, but if you have any audios or videos you know are rare, I'd love it if you DMed me!

Until the turntable puts me at the forefront again, good-bye...

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gretagerwigsmuse · 2 years ago

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✨🎶⛔️🙋‍♀️🍦🎨💞🤩

okay first thank you for sending these (i never actually get responses when i do them so much appreciated), ANYWAY we're gonna cover a lot of ground here so....

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

oh god i hate giving myself compliments, but i'd have to say that i think i do a really good job with the little details? like i've been extensively researching where the banquet/party in the follow up to "even when we're wrong in every way..." is going to take place, to where the reader lives (also there are no dry bars in san diego??? a hate crime?? so now i have to think of an alternative)? and all this stuff that seems so fucking small and inconsequential in the long run, but actually makes it so much more enjoyable for me? i also think i write really natural dialogue, which stems from me reading the dialogue out loud like twenty times (and occasionally even 'blocking' out the scene, which sounds so fucking lame). also 'hates giving compliments' yet writes a fucking novel for this one my ass?

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

i'm almost always listening to music because i can't be alone with my thoughts and am one of those people with over 100k listening hours every year on my spotify wrapped. i've been writing a lot of the sequel to "even when we're wrong in every way..." and have made a playlist! pls follow my spotify, i'm shameless at making hyper-specific playlists for every possible feeling i have. and if i ever make a playlist about something, you know i'm all in

⛔ Do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?

this made me laugh way too fucking hard - YES i literally have like 100k+ words of fics i've scrapped. most of them are just me running out of inspo or me not being super into the fandom anymore

🙋‍♀️ Do any irl people know you write fanfic?

HA no this is hilarious because i literally tell everyone now and all my friends who are so much fucking cooler than me and know absolutely nothing about fandoms etc. LOVE it??? they call them stories tho, not fics which makes me sound so much more legit?? and last night i finally got them all the read "and even when we're wrong in every way..." and the gc was going through it...😉

🍦 What's the sweetest fic you've created so far?

ironically, i feel like my sweetest fic is also my saddest? it's dual pov and shows both of the characters over the course of the school year following their breakup at the end of a summer romance on the cape (total au, my fave). and just how one of them, cassandra, processes her feelings of inadequacy and being the ultimate 'mirrorball' girl, while the other, harry, works through all the trauma and grief associated with his dad passing away that fall and his subsequent slip into addiction and recovery, making him THE ultimate 'this is me trying' boy. and they finally finally work their way back to each other and are all the stronger for it? it's also my most personal work, i def cried through writing at least three of the chapters - don't get me started on the therapy chapter...😭

🎨 How do you feel about fan art of your stories?

so i've never had anyone make fan art, BUT one of my absolute BESTIES on twitter made an actual EDIT for one of my fics??? like it's unfucking real, i think about it FREQUENTLY

💞 Who's your comfort character?

oh god so this VARIES but i've consistently adored the version of harry bingham i've created in my fics and if you've ever watched the society you're probably like 'jordan he's the literal worst' AND YET i've fixed him and trust fund coke boy brown haired men with daddy issues are my kryptonite. i also go absolutely feral for kendall roy and now bradley bradshaw (i would love to write a fic of him going through therapy and processing his trauma one day)

🤩 Who is your favorite character to write?

similar to the above, i have to go with harry. i cannot express the hold that writing and exploring his character has on me? i think it stems with them absolutely dropping the ball with his character on the society and also with me identifying with some parts of his character? ALSO now i'm super attached to my smart aleck reader (as sol and i are dubbing her) from "even when we're wrong in every way..." like the sequel/follow up shows such a different side to both her and bradley and how they're working through their relationship six months later. i think one of the things i like most about her (and him to a larger extent) is that i have to show that she doesn't agree with - and even like - this rather large part of his identity and yet they still love each other and are absolutely crazy for each other?? it's been a really fun exercise. plus the smut is fun

THANK YOU FOR SENDING THIS

#i def feel like you were here for the top gun insight and yet i make it all about my trust fund coke boy harry bingham #asks

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frozenartscapes · 3 years ago

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I think Verdant Wind being added as Silver Snow copy paste dragged down the development. If VW wasn't added, then SS, CF, and AM could have all been more fleshed out (so Edelgard could have been shown killing Thales personally and Dimitri's arc would be gradual instead of him going from batshit crazy to "good boy" instantly). So I think either VW should have not been made or SS was scrapped and Claude could actually get a story about him.

So here's what I'm thinking for Verdant Wind, because honestly if it were up to me it would be a total overhaul, and if put into the context of the game's development might have had to be a DLC or something if they were as pressed for time as it seems.

You pick Claude and the Golden Deer and the first half of the game follows many of the same story beats. (Though one thing I would like to see in White Clouds is more opportunities to interact with the other Houses outside of free time, like maybe a couple missions where two houses are sent to the same place to back each other up. This would then allow for supports to form between characters who might not necessarily be in the same house).

Shit goes down, Edelgard is revealed to be the Flame Emperor, war is declared, Byleth falls into a ravine for 5 years.

You come back and things are in a similar place as they start off in VW. You meet Claude at the monastery, he fills you in on what's been going on, and you decide that action needs to taken. However, that action is not "let's go to war too" but instead more of a diplomatic move. You decide to meet with Edelgard in a parlay at Grondor and she initially accepts, but when you both arrive you discover Dimitri has come with an army of his own. Not believing this isn't some sort of ambush on Claude's part, Edelgard calls the parlay off and initiates the battle of Grondor. However, this time you and Claude decide to stop Dimitri and successfully manage to intervene in the Kingdom's attack. Edelgard and her forces still retreat back to Enbarr but Dimitri is able to be captured and (eventually) reasoned with. (In this version Dimitri hasn't fully lost it like he does in AM. He still has some old friends and supports so he doesn't end up completely feral. He's still deeply distrusting of Edelgard but he at least agrees to help Claude find out a motive before killing her).

The attack on Fort Merceus is basically the same. You succeed in seizing it only for the whole thing to be blown up by the Javelins. Everyone manages to escape, though, including notable people from Edelgard's army. They are just as confused and horrified about the strike as you and your team.

Edelgard isn't up for talking this time around so you are forced to lay siege to Enbarr. This also plays out very similarly to VW, but the end cutscene is different. First, Claude is there. Then, rather than killing Edelgard, you extend a hand out to her, instead. She's hesitant, but Claude manages to convince her that there are no schemes this time. They just want to talk. He mentions the Javelins and how even her own army didn't seem to know what they were. When she blanches at the mention, he realizes that these "allies" of hers aren't exactly the most trustworthy of people.

Edelgard then reluctantly tells you, Claude, and Dimitri about Thales and TWSITD. She's hesitant because this is all sensitive information but she doesn't have much to lose at this point, what with Claude's army basically occupying Enbarr. She reveals what happened to her and her family, why she has two Crests, and why she's been forced to work with Thales. It's Dimitri who approaches first once she's finished, moving quickly and reaching out a hand before anyone can react. Edelgard flinches but instead of going for her neck, his hand comes to rest gently on her shoulder. "Where is that monster?" Dimitri hisses, "So I can tear his head from his body."

Once the three leaders form a tentative alliance, Edelgard reveals where Rhea has been hidden. She tells them all that she tried to keep her from too much harm, but she didn't have much control over the situation. Rhea is released and initially weak from imprisonment. She is also briefed on what happened to Edelgard, and why she started the war in the first place.

With a new target in mind, the alliance of nations storm Shambhala. Rhea has been healed up enough to aid in this battle. You defeat Thales, and he responds by launching all the Javelins he can. Rhea goes on to intercept them as she does in the game, but this time things go differently. Hubert points out that as long as Thales has a hand on the rune activating the Javelins, they'll keep coming. So Edelgard charges him along with Dimitri. The two cut through any mage who tries to stop them, and ultimately Edelgard sees vengeance for herself and her family by killing Thales herself. This halts the Javelins before they become too overwhelming for Rhea, and she returns, a little hurt but ok.

Everyone returns to Garreg Mach for celebrations, and also political discussions because there are a lot of things that now need to be covered. Rhea reveals everything about the Nabateans, Crests, and the Relics. Once she learns the true history of Fodlan, Edelgard makes her case for her own goals. She still believes that society should move away from putting so much importance on Crests, especially now that she knows where they truly came from. But she admits that uniting the land under one banner and disbanding the Church entirely would be taking things too far. Dimitri agrees with Edelgard, despite some protests from Faerghus officials. But he decides that the Hero's Relics have served their purpose and it is time they let the souls of the dead rest. Claude is insistent on Fodlan opening up to other nations, to which the other leaders agree, too. Rhea also decides that it is time she steps away from being Archbishop, but she does not appoint Byleth to the role.

A messenger then interrupts with news that a strange and powerful army is currently sweeping across Fodlan. They connect the dots and realize that it is Nemesis. They all decide to confront him as a group, showing off the might of a Fodlan united under peace. Rhea, fearful of mass casualties, tells Byleth what she did when they were a baby, explaining why they have the Crest of Flames and can wield the Sword of the Creator. There isn't a lot of time to unpack all of that because Nemesis is basically at their door, but Byleth still thanks Rhea for telling them.

They confront Nemesis all as one united front and defeat him. There are many parallels in cutscenes that call back the first cutscene of the game. The difference this time is that Rhea isn't facing Nemesis alone. In the last cutscene after defeating him in gameplay, Claude's arrow fake-out kicks things off, but it also includes Edelgard, Dimitri, and Rhea charging him alongside Byleth. In the end, Nemesis is run-through by the Sword of the Creator, the Sword of Seiros, Aymr, Areadbhar, and a bolt from Failnaught. He goes down, his army dissolves into dust, and victory is finally secured.

After that it's revealed what happens in Fodlan: each nation stays as their own land. Dimitri takes his place as the King of Faerghus and works on moving the kingdom away from knighthood and militaristic practices. He devotes more time and money to revitalizing the land and towns, building better roads between cities, and expanding education and other important services. Edelgard also works on fixing and providing social services like education and healthcare to the Adrestian people. She forms a strong alliance with the other nations, utilizing the fact that Adrestia has so much viable farmland to ensure no one goes hungry. She also grants Brigid its freedom, and works closely with Seteth and Rhea in Church reformations. Claude leaves Fodlan to take his place as King of Almyra, though he promises to visit often. Lorenz takes over the Alliance, and like the other two leaders works diligently to provide a better life for his people. Rhea eventually steps away from her role as Archbishop. She does offer it to Byleth, but you get a choice as to whether or not you want to take it. If you don't Rhea says she understands and that Seteth will take on a temporary position until a human can be found to carry on the legacy. She agrees that an immortal being shouldn't hold that kind of power forever.

There's one final cinematic cutscene in which every character with a Hero's Relic solemnly returns it to the Holy Tomb, with Byleth laying the Sword of the Creator last. They glance up at the Throne with all the characters visible behind them, and they smile.

Now Sothis can finally rest.

---

A couple other fun things that could be included in this route:

Because of the mentioned supports between houses, it is possible to s-support any of the House Leaders, not just Claude in this route

To make things extra fun, every unit could potentially be playable in the final battle

Edelgard and Thales can have special dialogue where she basically tells him to go fuck himself before killing him with the axe he gave her

None of the Black Eagles who stay with Edelgard would actually die in the siege on Enbarr, but would have unique "oh no I've been captured" quotes

The cutscene with Edelgard's surrender could start exactly like it does in SS/VW so if people saw that first, they would at first think she was going to die. This would then make Byleth extending a hand out in peace that much more impactful

Every now and then Dimitri and Edelgard could make a comment about how odd it is to be working with each other, and how they are still surprised neither one of them died after all those years of war, a BIG wink to the camera regarding the other routes where one or both of them don't make it

Claude can bring in Nader and other Almyran reinforcements for the final battle, and as a result could result in unique battle quotes from Rhea and Nader with the two of them commending each other and realizing that tensions need not be so high between their nations

Because different supports can happen between houses, there isn't as much pressure to recruit everyone by the end of White Clouds

There could be different paralogues for characters, along with ones already in the game that might be route specific. Dimitri's paralogue where he takes on Cornelia can be a side event that helps strengthen the Kingdom's army in future battles. Bernadetta/Petra's paralogue would allow for allies from Brigid to join in future battles. Edelgard could get a new paralogue where they have to sweep out the last remnants of various TWS labs and lairs, and it's made clear just how bad it had been for her.

Like, I know this is a lot, and executing it as a playable section of the game would be a lot of work. This is all just hypothetical, of course. This would be what I would recommend for the game, but as I say this just know that I don't expect any of this to actually be made. These are just some ideas for how VW could theoretically be changed.

The game would still need a route for Claude, as he is one of the three main choices at the very start of the game. I don't necessarily think SS should be removed, either, because that choice of "kill or don't kill edelgard" is still an incredibly poignant moment that would be lost if SS was gone. But I do wish VW or SS played out differently or at the very least used different cutscenes. The fact that Edelgard dies the same way twice kind of sucks. (This, on top of Dimitri dying off-screen multiple times and Rhea basically being kneecapped and not useful in 3/4 routes)

But I like Claude's route being a Golden Route. It is the Golden Deer after all.

#look i might have an edelgard bias #but i honestly think there should be a route where none of them have to die #it would be super cathartic especially after playing the other routes #verdant wind fix #fe three houses #headcanons #au ideas #claude #dimitri #rhea #byleth #edelgard #long post

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sevilemar · 3 years ago

Text

Sorting All Elite Wrestling I

I don't think anyone has done this, but I am going to sort professional wrestlers with the sorting hat chats system now. Why? Because I just watched two great shows back to back, and I really need to talk about it. Because the guys at work are philistines who don't follow AEW, and wouldn't know what to do with me in full-on fangirl mode anyway. Because I have a lot to say. Because I can.

Wrestling storylines are limited by their very nature, so I'm not gonna go through the pain of sorting primaries; there is simply too little to go on. Secondaries, however, are bright and shiny, simplified and blown up, and a big part of the pro wrestling magic both in and out of the ring.

Bryan Danielson: He has so much snake secondary trickster vibes, and I love it. He plays face with one opponent and heel with the next, he openly said he riled up Eddie Kingston on purpose to get the best version of him for their match, and I think he plays Hangman for the same purpose right now. He knows just what to say and do to everyone to get them going, and he doesn't care if the crowd cheers or boos him for it. In his matches, he does not change his style or his move set. But the energy is always different with him, perfectly tailored to his opponent and the story they're telling. And through it all, promos and matches alike, you always know what he wants because he has stated it in his very first promo: He is there to have amazing matches with the best opponents, and kick their heads in. And apparently, he doesn't care what he has to do to get there.

Eddie Kingston: Eddie wears his heart on his sleeve, and you always know what you get with him: raw, brutal honesty. He speaks from the heart, always, and you know he means every word. He is blunt, never changes himself for anyone, and it gets him in trouble more often than not. In the ring, he is crafty, he has a few tricks up his sleeve, but he always chooses the most direct attack possible. He is the most liony lion secondary I know, and it's awesome.

Hangman Adam Page: The story of Hangman Page in AEW is that of a badger who burns after the Elite kicks him out, and who slowly unburns when the Dark Order adopts him. It took two years and a whole lot of beer, but slowly the Dark Order helped our favorite millenial cowboy get his groove back on, get his confidence back, face Kenny Omega, and finally win the big one. Here's to you, Adam, and the best long-term storytelling I've seen since DIY!

Kenny Omega: I'm having trouble separating his AEW and New Japan runs and especially the New Japan quasi-documentaries from the character we actually see on screen. I got into New Japan because of him, and I watched every scrap of material I could get my fingers on about a hundred times. And he just feels like a planner bird to me, meticulous with every detail in his stories and promos and matches, and even his silly Halloween costumes. He has a few Actor Bird roles for his character, like Goofy Heel, The Cleaner, The Golden Lover, Sadface, The Cleaner 2.0: The Gritty Remix, etc., and he is better at some of them than others. In the ring, he can be completely over the top and anime-style comical, slightly over the top, or dead serious, but he is always precise.

I'm gonna leave it here for now, because I need to think about everyone else some more. If you have a favourite AEW wrestler you want me to sort, drop me an ask. And for everyone who is unfamiliar with the weird mesh-up of fiction and reality that is professional wrestling, I am talking about their wrestling personas here, not whoever they are in private.

Bryan Danielson: snake secondary

Eddie Kingston: lion secondary

Hangman Adam Page: unburning badger secondary

Kenny Omega: bird secondary

#sortinghatchats #sevil sorts #all elite wrestling #bryan danielson #eddie kingston #hangman adam page #kenny omega

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toovirgins · 3 years ago

Text

January, 1972

Summary: In Paul's first interview since the breakup of the Beatles, things go slightly awry when a nosy reporter gets more out of him than she bargained for.

Part 3/3 (1, 2)

The doorbell rang.

Paul jolted awake. He was still on the couch, unsure of how long he’d been sitting there, but pale morning light seeped in through the cracks of the curtains.

In a half-daze, he struggled to his feet, trying to ascertain his surroundings. Why had he been on the couch? Who was at the door? Why were they bothering him at—he peered at the clock on the wall, startled to find that it was already 10:00 a.m.

He fumbled with the locks until the door finally creaked open, flooding the living room with bright daylight and making him wince.

“What the fuck did you do?”

Paul’s body froze at the figure in the doorway, clear as day despite a sloppy hat-and-sunglasses disguise.

“I—”

“I don’t want some bullshit excuse, Paul, because I woke up to reporters halfway up my arse and Rings on the line talking about some fucking interview you did last night. What did you do?”

“I-I’m sorry,” Paul stammered helplessly.

John pushed his way past Paul into the house, tossing his cover to the side with vitriol. He collapsed on the couch where Paul had been asleep only moments before and threw his head in his hands.

Paul sensed that it was his turn to explain himself, though nothing on earth quite sounded less appealing. “I might have… sort’ve… confessed.”

John raised his head, glaring at him wearily. Go on.

“I didn’t mean to. They cornered me. Wouldn’t stop asking about me new song, and it is about you, of course it’s about you, but I—I thought I was vague enough to—”

John laughed sharply, interrupting Paul’s train of thought. “Doesn’t matter anymore. I called you out on it, and now everyone’s lookin’ for cryptic bullshit in your songs.”

Paul pretended not to feel annoyed at the assertion. Suddenly, another memory came full force back to him, and his voice got quiet, eyes flicking away from John’s penetrative gaze. “They asked me about India.”

“They what? Paul, how the fuck could they know about India?”

Anger rose in his throat as he fought to defend himself in what seemed like an unwinnable case. “I don’t fucking know. No one actually knows but us.” There was an accusatory edge to his voice.

John was incredulous. “You think I had something to do with that?”

Paul crossed his arms, though he still wouldn’t meet his gaze. “It certainly wasn’t me.”

John was on his feet again in a flash of fury. His voice was saturated with sarcasm, but Paul didn’t miss the lingering of hurt in there as well. “Sure. You got me pinned, Macca. I’m such a little media whore that I went and spilled every little detail of the worst moment of my life to the press. And because I’m a selfish goddamn prick I encouraged them to ask you about it in an interview, so that I could laugh at your pain in my great new fuckin’ life without you. Because why? Because I like seeing you suffer?” In his effort to avoid John’s eyes, Paul noticed that the man’s hands were shaking. “I thought you knew me better than to believe in the goddamn press portrait of me.”

There was a lot more that seemed to be said in John’s words than the words themselves.

“You’re still bitter,” Paul whispered. The wrong thing to say.

John’s eyes flashed dangerously. He was shouting now. “Of course I’m fuckin’ bitter, Paul! You turned me down. You said no to me. I loved you more than—”

“Don’t,” Paul pleaded hoarsely, tears suddenly buzzing at the brim of his eyelids.

“You don’t get to do this, Paul,” he continued without missing a beat. “I loved you more than I’d ever loved anyone in my life. A-and I couldn’t explain it, because it was a different love altogether, and I’m not sure if that made it true with you, or just better, but-but it was real. It was the most real thing that ever happened to me, and I was so certain that you understood that too.”

“John,” Paul begged.

“But you didn’t. At least, not on the same level, because if you had then we wouldn’t be here right now.” John waved a vague hand in the air, his cheeks bright with fury. Paul couldn’t bear to see it reflected in his eyes. “So you don’t get to do this. You don’t get to write songs and go on television talking about how much I hurt you.”

Paul only swallowed.

“Did you know how fuckin’ hard it was to listen to that song, Paul?” John said abruptly, his gaze straight out the window and his hands balled into fists. His lip was trembling in its place under his teeth. “To hear you say that you were in love with me?”

“I am–“

“Bullshit!” John yelled, and for a brief moment, Paul’s eyes were drawn up and he thought that John might actually hit him. When John slumped back in surprise at his own outburst, Paul felt a flood of rage overtake him, energy transferred from one to the other.

“You don’t fucking understand, John! You’re not like me! You’ve never given two shits about what the world thinks of you. You act like you do, with us, like you’re some poor misunderstood soul, but you don’t.” Paul began listing on his fingers, ignoring John’s protesting gape. “The Jesus comment, Yoko, Two Virgins, writing song after song knowing they’re going to be banned. You spew your bullshit and do whatever you please and sometimes it feels like you’re trying to give the world the finger and that’s fine, con-fuckin-gratulations for you, but I’m not like that.”

He suddenly felt very tired as John closed his mouth into a firm line. Paul recognized the expression. Understanding. “I’m not like that. It matters to me. And I don’t know what that says about me, or how to fix it. So simply the sudden legality of it all couldn’t magically change my mind. And now that’s something I have to live with, for the rest of my days, because I know now that it would have been worth it. And we could’ve handled it together. I didn’t understand then, but I do now. And I do love you.”

John rolled his eyes in helpless exasperation. “So what do you want to do, eh? Say fuck-all to our wives, our families? Our new lives? Just because you were too chicken-shit to say something four years ago?” He shook his head. “It’s too late for us, Paul. What’s that they say? Right person, wrong time?”

The polite smile John gave in closing made Paul feel sick to his stomach.

“Why did you come here, John?”

The defendant shrugged. He took a few steps backwards and sunk back onto the couch. “Honest?”

Paul hesitated. He might have had enough honesty for the day.

John sighed. “Wanted to see you.” He gave a sudden glare, shooting down Paul’s curious eyebrows. “Not because I missed you. I wanted to see you try and explain yourself. I hadn’t known what happened in the interview, but I’m not bloody stupid. I could tell it was something of this… scale. And I was so fuckin’ tired of trying to read you over the phone.”

Paul felt the strange urge to smile. And suddenly, he was laughing, undeterred even by the expression of utter bewilderment on John’s face.

“Christ, all that? Isn’t it, like, five in the morning there?”

“Well, yeah, I told you—Rings called, and you Englishmen have no bloody consideration for time zones.”

Paul let out a chuckle that felt far too relieving. His smile quieted as reality began to sink in. “I’m sorry.”

John met his eyes for only a moment. “S’not your fault. They do it to me, too.”

“What are you going to do?”

He shrugged. “Deny. Deny, deny, deny. Don’t know what he’s talking about, must’ve gone mad, trying to frame me as a queer. Wanted to stir up a fight. I’ll think of something.”

Paul swallowed. He wasn’t sure what he expected.

John peered over his glasses, his mouth pressed into a firm line. He removed them slowly, folding them in his lap. When he looked up again, Paul felt a shiver travel down his spine at the familiarity of the amber eyes on his, unprotected, unveiled. They hadn’t looked that way to him in so long.

“It’s only me,” John said quietly. Paul could hear in the tone that it was meant to be soothing, but the words made his heart twitch violently. “You know…not to take everything I say about you to heart, yeah?”

Paul nodded, gaze cast downwards for fear of brimming tears.

“Sometimes I mean it. I’m allowed to mean it. But this?” He sighed. “Whatever happens, you have to know that we have to. They’ll believe us so long as we present it as another one of our publicized scraps.”

“I’ve got to be the bad guy,” Paul conceded.

John nodded a confirmation. “I’ll, erm… I’ll say that it’s an attack. That you’re trying to frame me as something that I’m not, because you’re still hung up on the breakup. And it’s my reputation you’re worried about. I’ll say you’ve been on a bender, and lucid-dreamed-up an idealized version of our partnership. I’ll make another offhand comment about how we hardly wrote together much less knew one another, and you… You won’t say anything. You’ll stay here with—” he suddenly seemed to choke on the words. “Linda. The kids. And you can talk to her about it, I don’t care. But that’s what I’m going to say, and you have to be okay with that.”

Paul only stared. He knew in the back of his mind that John was right, but that didn’t help the nausea coursing through his veins.

“You have to be okay with that,” John repeated, his voice trembling slightly. “For both of us.”

The words were so far from the truth in some ways and yet too close to the truth in others. John offered a hand to shake, but appeared to think better of it, withdrawing the deal almost immediately. He knew Paul would agree, anyway, of course he would. And neither of them knew if they could handle the contact, no matter how brief.

“I should be going,” John said after a moment.

“You could stay,” Paul offered, his mind frantically arranging a comfortable setup for John to spend a few days.

John pushed himself up off of the couch and gazed around the room briefly, looking for something he hadn’t left. “Why?”

The image of the pull out couch in the den crumbled to death in his imagination. “Yeah. Okay.”

John gave one last, awkward nod, both men standing helplessly in the middle of the room. He hesitated for another moment before shuffling over to the front door, grabbing up his hat and glasses beside it, and pulling it open.

Paul wasn’t sure what made him say it, but he couldn’t stop the words from flowing out. “I love you.”

John scratched the back of his neck before turning to go. “I–yeah. See you around, Paul.”

He shut the door behind him.

#the beatles #beatles fanfiction #paul mccartney #john lennon #linda mccartney (mentioned)#ringo starr (briefly mentioned)#interviews #confessions #songwriting feud of the seventies #beatles breakup #part 3 #part 3 of 3

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tsrookie · 4 years ago

Text

This Is Me Trying

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Dr. Alyssa Brooks)

A/N: Hey everyone! Soooo I was actually planning to scrap this fic, since I seriously couldn’t think about practically after Chapter 11. But then Chapter 12 came out, and boom! My brain finally decided to finish this! @kaavyaethanramsey Thank you so much for pre-reading! And a special thanks to @openheart12 for being totally chill with me taking this song for inspiration even though she had plans to do the same!

Song Inspiration: This Is Me Trying by Taylor Swift. I’m going to do some shameless promo for Taylor since her label ain’t bothering with that🙄

STREAM FOLKLORE!

Word Count: 3600+

Warning(s): One curse word

Summary: My version of Ethan’s thoughts after the MK heist. This man is NOT EASY to write!

——————————

Edenbrook was mostly quiet during the night shift. Most doctors left as soon as their time was up, not wanting to spend any more time in the hospital than they already had to.

But that wasn’t the case for a certain diagnostician.

The lamp on Ethan’s desk shone with a clear light in a stark contrast to his confusing thoughts. His mind was clouded. Clouded with thoughts of her.

Dr. Alyssa Brooks, the one he had hand selected from a thousand applications, the resident who had taken Edenbrook by storm as just a mere intern, and the woman who now held his heart.

He’d kissed her twice in less than two days. He couldn’t be the emotionless robot he had pretended to be for 10 years. He wanted to throw away everything to just hold her in his arms without a worry in the world. He didn’t want to just stand next to her. He wanted to be with her. But he had no idea how.

I’ve been having a hard time adjusting

I had the shiniest wheels, now they’re rusting

I didn’t know if you’d care if I came back

I have a lot of regrets about that

His mind automatically took him back to one of the most painful nights of his life: The night he’d returned from the Amazon.

“You’re an idiot Ramsey. An absolute moron. You know she’ll be there, then why the hell are you going there?!”, he’d scolded himself as his legs, as though they had a mind of their own, took him to Donahue’s.

He had no idea how she would react to seeing him. He was, after all, the man who was a complete coward and ran away from her and his feelings for her.

He wouldn’t have blamed her if she was in the arms of that scalpel jockey. At least he would treat her the way she’d deserved to be treated. Unlike him, who only knew to run. He had hoped that she would’ve buried her feelings for him.

The look on her face said it all. The pain, the betrayal, but also the care and concern, was plain to see in her brown doe-like eyes. Two months apart had done nothing to help either of them. He’d still cared for her way more than a mentor was supposed to care for a mentee. And then she’d kissed him.

In those few seconds, he’d felt more air in his lungs than he had ever felt in two months in the Amazon forest. He’d desperately wanted to kiss her back. He’d wanted to let her know that he cared about her more than she could possibly comprehend. But he didn’t.

It almost killed him to tell her that they had to reset. But he didn’t know what else to do at that point. That would forever remain one of his biggest regrets. He’d put them both through so much of pain that he could never forgive himself. He’d hurt her so much. Yet, she’d never given up on them.

He shook his head to bring himself back to the present. He looked into his wristwatch. 12:30 am. It was past midnight. He had to go home as he was past the point of trying to get any work done.

Pulled the car off the road to the lookout

Could’ve followed my fears all the way down

And maybe I don’t quite know what to say

But I’m here in your doorway

He drove out of the hospital and his eyes caught a flash of red walking on the pavement. “Alyssa?” She whipped her head around, recognizing his voice. She looked exhausted, but he wouldn’t blame her, knowing the day she had. Her ginger roots were all over her face and her clothes were completely wrinkled.

“Hey Ethan...”, she croaked in a raspy voice.

“Why on earth are you walking home? I thought you always took the train.”

“The station seemed overcrowded. Wasn’t in the mood to bump into any frat boys.”, she chuckled lightly.

“Get in. I’ll drive you home.”, he said. She opened her mouth to protest, but decided against it seeing the deadpan look on his face.

Her eyes were trained on the road. He glanced at her a couple of times but it didn’t seem like she noticed. She didn’t seem as lively as she was after they’d returned from Mass Kenmore. Something was nagging her, and he was determined to find out what.

“Is everything okay?”, he asked gently, not wanting to push her.

“Hmm... yeah it’s fine... everything’s fine.”, she replied unconvincingly.

“Alyssa...”

He took her hand in his and pulled over at her doorstep. “What’s wrong?”, he asked again, looking straight into her eyes. They were glassy and rimmed with red. His eyes slightly widened, realizing that she had been crying.

“It’s... a lot Ethan. First, it’s Kyra. She’s going to have major surgery. An extrapleural pneumonectomy. It could either save her, or...”, she trailed off, biting her trembling lip. He held her hand tighter, to try and give her the strength to continue. She took a deep breath and continued.

“I’m terrified about what could happen to her. I know I said that I could handle it this morning, but having her in this literal life of death situation... I just can’t”, she choked out a sob.

He immediately wrapped his arms around her on instinct. Her fragile frame trembled as she cried into his shirt. His heart broke to see her like this. He knew that Kyra had a slim chance of survival, but seeing the impact on Alyssa was too much to bear. He’d been through the same situation when Dolores died, and she’d helped him get through it. No matter what was to happen to Kyra, he was going to stand by her side through it all.

“And Raf...”, she suddenly said in receding sobs. “Raf’s leaving town and I have no idea why. It’s completely out of the blue and I’m really worried about him. He hasn’t been the same since the beginning of this year, and now he just decides to leave Boston.”

Ethan was surprised as well. He had known the paramedic only for a couple of months and even he was surprised at his decision to leave. He seemed to love his hometown and it seemed completely out of character for him to leave like this.

He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know that she was going through so much. It hurt him beyond anything to see her in her most vulnerable state.

I just wanted you to know that this is me trying

“Alyssa, I...”

He searched for the right words to say. He had comforted plenty of patients in the past, but nothing had prepared him to hold Alyssa in his arms.

“I know that I can’t take all this away, no matter how much I want to. But if you ever need anyone to talk to, or just want me around, I’ll be there. That’s a promise.”

He owed it to her. He owed her the world and more. She’d stood by him and been his rock through all his issues with his mother. He wanted to be there for her. He had to at least try.

“Thank you Ethan...”, she said with a soft smile that was enough to light up his whole world. He reluctantly let her go with a kiss to her hand. “Sleep well Alyssa.”

They told me all of my cages were mental

So I got wasted like all my potential

And my words shoot to kill when I’m mad

I have a lot of regrets about that

His lips still tingled from touching her hand. “Heaven knows how I’m going to keep up this pathetic act.” As he drove along the nearly empty streets, his mind went back to the most stupid decision of his life...

“You can’t live life like this Ethan. You can’t keep isolating yourself from her.”, Naveen had told him when he had made the foolish decision to run away to the Amazon. The old man had always known what went on in Ethan’s mind. There wasn’t a day where Naveen hadn’t chided him for locking himself up in his own cage. But he didn’t know what to do. His walls were up too high for anyone to climb over them.

But then Alyssa barged into his life. She broke into the invisible cage he had alienated himself in. All his high walls came up short for her. No one else had broken through his soul like her. He watched the walls he had built for over twenty years come falling down for her.

But despite all that, he had majorly screwed up. He had been nothing but rude and cold for weeks in her second year thanks to Gwyneth Monroe and Leland Bloom. He was furious at the board, but deep down he had known that the team would change a lot due to the budget cuts. He knew that it was completely unfair to direct his anger at her and everyone else in the hospital. But he didn’t know what else to do. His values and Naveen’s vision had been compromised, and that clouded his mind from thinking of anything else.

The regret and guilt in her eyes had pained him immensely. As time passed, he had accepted the fact that the fault wasn’t hers and that he was truly thankful to her for making the decision he was dreading. But he had no idea how to tell her all of that. His words and actions had hurt her and there was no going back and changing them. And it wasn’t even the first time. Hurting her repeatedly was all he ever did.

I was so ahead of the curve, the curve became a sphere

Fell behind all my classmates and I ended up here

Pouring out my heart to a stranger

But I didn’t pour the whiskey

He remembered his days from med school. After Tobias had betrayed him by stealing Serena Jane, he didn’t bother with romance. He completely submerged himself in his studies. His peers found true happiness and love while he had accomplished more than anyone could have dreamed of, but stayed unhappy.

Whenever he opened up, he would just go through a world of pain. Tobias was the only person who he had truly trusted. But then he had stabbed him in the back in every way possible. He hadn’t planned to let Naveen in, but the old man had become like a second father to him. And then he had nearly died, which had terrified Ethan more than he had let on. He shouldn’t have let anyone in after that.

But then there was Alyssa.

His Rookie. He knew damn well that that nickname had become a term of endearment. That was why he rarely called her that after her second year began. He didn’t want to get her hopes up only to hurt her again.

He fell asleep with all these thoughts tormenting him.

The next day was pretty dull. He hadn’t seen her in the morning since the team didn’t have any new patients. He knew that she was probably working on Kyra’s case in her free time and didn’t want to impose. By the end of his shift, he was questioning his decision to even show up at work as it was incredibly tedious and monotonous without Alyssa by his side.

He found himself sitting at Donahue’s, with his eyes flicking to the door every once in thirty seconds in hopes that she would walk in. “You look like you haven’t slept properly in days”, said Reggie’s voice. “I mean, I know you’re busy as hell, but you at least used to look like you were a normal human back then.”, he chuckled. Ethan let out a heavy sigh as he stared at his untouched glass of whiskey. “You okay?”

Ethan considered Reggie to be a... good acquaintance, which was more than he considered three-fourth of the people in the hospital to be. But was he about to pour his heart out to him?

He looked down at his full glass and realized he didn’t even need the alcohol to express his agony. He just couldn’t take it anymore.

“It’s... Alyssa.”, he said as his eyes filled with pain.

“Tell me.”, Reggie said as he leaned on the bar countertop.

“I don’t know what to do about her. She’s a brilliant young doctor and my mentee. She has the skill and potential to become one of the greatest doctors the world has ever seen. And I need to push her to be that. Caring about her... that’ll get in the way. I might start being lenient with her if I’m with her. And I don’t want that to hinder her development...” He trailed off as a lump formed in his throat.

Opening up like this brought the bitter truth to light. There were too many professional obstacles for them to be a normal couple. But those were nothing compared to their emotional issues.

I just wanted you to know that this is me trying

At least I’m trying

He took a deep breath as he continued, “I don’t even know why she would want me. I’ve done nothing, absolutely nothing but cause her pain from the very start. I was the one who first kissed her. I was the one who lead her on. I was, sorry, am the coward who broke her heart by running away to the Amazon. I dragged her into the mess that is my personal life. But she still wants to stay. She’s by my side whenever I need her and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to repay her for everything she’s done for me.” He choked out a small sob. He loathed himself.

She was the last person on the planet who he ever wanted to hurt, but that was all he had ever done. Trying to make up for all that pain seemed nearly impossible.

“I don’t deserve her Reggie... I just don’t. I don’t even know how I fell in so deep. It all just... happened. And now I’m stuck in a dilemma where I need to be the best mentor I can be for her but I also can’t live a life without her as something so much more than just my mentee! I want her to be my-”

He stopped as he suddenly realised what he was about to say. He was about to admit that he wanted her to be his girlfriend. He wanted an actual relationship with her.

Reggie smiled knowingly at him. “Say it Ethan. Say it out loud so that you can finally accept it for yourself.” “I... I want to be in a relationship with her.”, he said. He let out a breath that he didn’t realized he’d been holding. He felt free.

And it’s hard to be at a party when I feel like an open wound

It’s hard to be anywhere these days when all I want is you

You’re a flashback in a film reel on the one screen in my town

He suddenly heard a laugh. Her laugh. His favourite sound in the whole world.

He whipped his head towards the source of the sound and sure enough, she was there. She was in the middle of what seemed like a drunken dance off with Lahela. But he didn’t look even half as drunk as Alyssa. Her eyes were hooded and worn out. Her clothes were all wrinkled up, but she didn’t seem to care at all, which was quite a surprise.

Something told him that she had overworked herself and was drinking to combat the exhaustion. But the way she moved made him feel otherwise. The way her hips swayed slowed in the dim light of Donahue’s sent his thoughts into the gutter.

His mind flashed with memories of the night she had won her ethics hearing. The way she had flashed a lopsided grin at him when he’d lied to a resident while leaving the bar. Her incredibly messy yet perfect room. The night they’d last slept together. The night he’d last felt her body perfectly intertwine with his. It all seemed like nothing but a distant memory now, with all that had happened. But he could never forget that night, no matter how hard he tried.

He let out a sigh as he looked at Reggie. “I think it’s better if I left now... It’s for the best if she doesn’t notice me.”

“Too late for that, since your Rookie is on her way to the bar right now”, came a reply with a smirk. Ethan let out a frustrated sigh, but he found himself unable to suppress the slight smile on his face as she made her way towards him.

“Ethaaan! What a *hiccup* wonderful surpriiise! I had noo idea you’d *hiccup* be here!”, she said in a singsong voice.

“Dr. Broo- Alyssa, what exactly do you think you’re doing near the bar in this state?”, he asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Juuuust a few more *hiccup* drinks. I’m purrrrfectly fine.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. It seemed like it was now up to him to make sure she could at least walk straight.

“No. You are not having any more. I can’t handle a hungover member on my team when the Senator arrives.”

“You’re not the boss of me!”

“Actually I am.”, he smirked as he ushered her out of the bar.

And I just wanted you to know

That this is me trying (Maybe I don't quite know what to say)

I just wanted you to know

That this is me trying

The cold Boston air hit them in the face as they got outside. Winter was coming, and it seemed that his favourite resident had forgotten to bring a coat to combat the chilly weather.

It didn’t take him more than a second to realize she was shivering. Wordlessly, he took off his jacket and draped it over her shoulders. She looked up at him in surprise, her glassy eyes filling with life. He looked away on instinct, but couldn’t suppress the smile at the corner of his lips on seeing her in his clothes.

“Hey... I dunno if I’ve *hiccup* said this before, but I’m really glad to have you in my corner *hiccup* ya know. The past few days have been... so overwhelming and... I would’ve *hiccup* lost my mind if it wasn’t for you.”

He turned to look at her. Her brown eyes were filled with sincerity and... something else. Something he couldn’t quite put his finger on. Something new. Something... affectionate.

If she could be wasted and still manage to talk to him with complete honesty, then his sober mind could do just the same.

He took her hands in his. They were cold, and sent a jolt of electricity through him. “Alyssa, I meant what I said yesterday. If you ever need me, for anything, at any time, I’ll be there. Nothing will ever change that, no matter what... changes between us.”

He saw her face light up at his words, and he realized that he had quite the same expression himself.

He didn’t know whether she was going to ask him anything further of the topic of... them. It seemed like she decided not to, and he was grateful for it. He still didn’t know what exactly to do, but he knew that it was foolish to keep pushing her away.

“Alyssa where on earth- Oh!”

Doctor Trinh’s eyes widened as she witnessed the tender exchange between them. Her expression morphed from shock to utter delight as she saw their joined hands. If it was someone else, Ethan would’ve immediately pulled away. But this was Alyssa’s best friend, and a doctor who he knew he could trust with their secret, especially since she had seen him come out of her room the previous year.

“I’ll umm... tell Jackie that it’ll take a while.”, she said sheepishly as she turned away from the pair.

“No it’s alright. I need to *hiccup* get some rest before tomorrow. We’re done here. Unless... there’s *hiccup* anything else you want to say?”, she asked as his eyes locked with hers again.

“Yeah... just that I don’t want you to worry too much. Everything’s going to be okay Alyssa.”, he said with a smile that mirrored hers. He leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to her temple, as she reluctantly pulled away from him for the night.

“Thank you Ethan... for everything.”

“Don’t mention it.”

The ghost of a smile adorned his face as he went back to his car. He wasn’t sure about how she felt about everything. Hell, he still wasn’t sure about how he was feeling. But it was something beautiful. Something he hadn’t felt for anyone he had been involved with. Something that filled his heart with joy. Something he had thought that was impossible for him to feel since his mother had left him at eleven.

Love. Ethan Ramsey was in love with Alyssa Brooks.

The very idea terrified him. The worry of losing someone he loved had been rooted his mind since childhood. But she was different. His heart opened up to her in a way it had done with no one before.

It was going to be a long road, filled with obstacles and barriers. He didn’t even know if she felt the same about him. But he wanted to try. His life would never be complete without her in it, and the thought of a reset could never cross his mind again. Changing his view on the world was worth a try when it came to her. Because she was worth the risk. “She always has been.”

At least I'm trying

——————————

A/N 2: Hope you guys liked it! I’ve shamelessly included Louis Tomlinson and GoT references even though it’s supposed to be inspired from a Taylor Swift song😬 Let me know if you found them! And I hope I managed to stay true to the fact that our man is super oblivious to the fact that MC is head over heels for him as well😅 I tried to make this one seem like an actual fic instead of a kinda boring narration that I did last time. As always, constructive criticism is much appreciated❤️

Taglist: @kaavyaethanramsey @ohramsey @aylamwrites @caseyvalentineramsey @ohvamsey @starrystarrytrouble @dxnicaramsey @decadentwinnerjudgedream @nithya @mrsmatsuo-ramsey @imonlybibecauseofethanramsey @rookiefromedenbrook @bratzlahela @eramsey28 @the-pale-goddess @ohchoices @wellhelloramsey @pitchblackstars @mvalentine @swiftlydarcy @utterlyinevitable @angela8756 @akshara16 @sushiharrington @drethanramslay @lion-ess24 @whippedforethanfreakingramsey

Sorry if some of the tags don’t work😓 Let me know if you want to be added or removed!

#ethan ramsey #dr ethan ramsey x mc #ethan jonah ramsey #ethan ramsey x mc #ethan x mc #open heart #open heart second year #playchoices #dr ethan jonah ramsey #mercy writes

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bereft-of-frogs · 3 years ago

Note

3. Do you have any upcoming WIPs? How far along are you with them? + 4: Tell me about one of your abandoned WIPs. Why did you abandon it? + 5: Share a snippet that you’re proud of from an upcoming fic/chapter. + 17: What has been the proudest moment for you so far since you started writing? ---- Sorry, i am very curious :D

Thanks for asking! Questions are from this list, if anyone wants to send any more!

3. Do you have any upcoming WIPs? How far along are you with them?

The two I’m currently focusing on out of my sea of WIPs are what I’m calling the ‘twin bastard WIPs’: aka, the grotesque fic and ‘variations on a redemption arc 1′. I’m calling them that because they’re both similar despite being in different fandoms. They’re both about the same length, they both deal with dark themes (including torture, always fun), there’s a lot of overwrought emotional conversations - and I was having the same problems with them. Specifically, I’d put them aside and let myself get distracted by other works and then when I picked them back up I would have like...the same series of revelations every single time. Like, ‘oh I should do this and this, and THIS is the real motivation for this character behind the mask.........wait I’ve already done this.’ So I decided to just focus on these two until they were finished, which is going...umm...okay. (There was not a ‘variations on a redemption arc 2′ when I made this pledge and then wrote three pages of it in a notebook...)

I would say I should be done with both by the end of the summer? Hopefully? well, the grotesque fic has a deadline now and I’m making good progress on the other (though I have fight scenes left to write blegh I always procrastinate writing fight scenes).

4. Tell me about one of your abandoned WIPs. Why did you abandon it?

I rarely consider WIPs abandoned. Either they were never really WIPs to begin with, just snippets of ideas and dialogue I had no intention of expanding on in the first place, indulgent scenes I just wrote for myself, or I still have hope to finish them. Two slightly longer ones though that I would call abandoned:

- last year to combine a whumptober prompt with a bad things happen bingo square (hunting season + surrender) I started a Star Wars fic but the worldbuilding never came together and I subsequently learned there’s an arc of The Clone Wars that did almost the same thing (one day I will actually watch The Clone Wars....it is not this day, though I do have a friend who might bully me into it soon) so I just scrapped it.

- I had another earlier version of the ‘Team Revengers on the Ark’ type semi-episodic fic, but I ended up pilfering some individual scenes for ‘pain and other human sensations’ and I ended up liking where I went with that a lot better (even for things that didn’t affect the larger series plot, like the Grandmaster’s return) and never really cared to go back and continue this version

5. Share a snippet that you’re proud of from an upcoming fic/chapter.

from ‘variations on a redemption arc 1′

“You’ll let him die?”

The thought of it leaves him momentarily breathless. But he still says, “Yes. I would let him die a Jedi.”

Silence falls between them. Qui-Gon expects Dooku to leave. But he doesn’t.

“I cannot deny,” Dooku says after a few minutes of quiet. The roar of pain has dulled to a steady throb. “That once I would perhaps have answered as you did. That I would have perhaps had the sense of honor to let you die rather than fall. But I have watched too many Jedi cut down in service of a mission that failed long ago, and I will do it again.”

file this under, ‘willing to put up with writing 3 separate fight scenes because I am in love with this one exchange’

[additional note: the second ‘variations on a redemption arc’ isn’t actually a sequel but just another fic along the same lines, with some divergences, which is why I really want to finish this one first, because first of all I keep getting distracted and losing track of the complicated emotional and political motivations, but I also don’t want to mix up themes since they’re taking place at very different narrative points. it’s just a funny placeholder title haha, because the other day I was like ‘wait isn’t this just another variation on the same narrative’ and then was like ‘eh, two cakes’]

not from the grotesque fic, but the conclusion to an accidental trilogy about ghosts and hallucinations:

“You see, in this I preferred the old Thor. He’d spare me these sorts of conversations, bury it down deep and act as if nothing’s wrong.”

Thor’s gaze is level. “You’re asking me to act like nothing’s wrong?”

“Yes.” Loki would vastly prefer never to have this conversation. He’d much prefer that Thor dismiss any of his new oddities as simple quirks and let him suffer in silence until it all fades. He turns back to his counting. 5…10…15…20…

“I know you’d prefer to avoid this talk, but see, that’s what got us in this mess in the first place, brother.” Thor sounds weary. “I let you suffer in silence until it didn’t fade, until it all blew up in my face. And you ask me to do it again? To repeat history?”

Loki stops counting cans. He was certain that he had not said any of that out loud. He turns and opens his mouth, but before he can demand an explanation, Thor says, “How’s the inventory coming?”

Only the Thor he was looking at hadn’t said anything, and the voice came from behind him.

Loki turns. Thor stands in the doorway, looking at him with an innocent smile on his face. Loki glances back to the crate where his brother had been perched. It is empty. He turns back to the Thor in the doorway, face feeling very cold and something unpleasant in his stomach. “What?”

“How’s the inventory coming?” Thor asks, a bit slower this time.

This was just the first piece I wrote of this conclusion, still far from making any decent progress on it but I like it!

17. What has been the proudest moment for you so far since you started writing?

Tie between 1) any jokingly angry comment (like obviously not any actual nasty comments but the ones where people are like HURTS SO GOOD) 2) actually scratch that, when I finally got the first ‘you’re disgusting’ comment on one of my extremely rare actual Thorki fics, I was pretty proud of that too 3) any time I get to a place where I read back a fic of my that I’ve posted that hasn’t gotten a ton of comments or kudos and I’m like ‘hell yeah this is fire, I don’t care if the readers don’t appreciate you, fic, I appreciate you’. Which might sound sort of full of myself but it’s always a nice place to get to where it’s like...hey the validation is nice but also I just really like this work. wrote it for an audience of one, me, and me is happy so that’s a win.

Feel free anyone to send more asks! I will theoretically answer them at some point this evening as procrastination from actually writing

#idk why I get so cagey about sharing snippets of my star wars fic #i think i'm still weirdly waiting to get cancelled or bullied out of the fandom for some reason haha #even though people have been super nice even though i'm writing in a smallish niche #but yeah idk why i think i'm just...too emotionally wrapped up in it right now haha #so every time i post a star wars snippet i throw out an mcu one as a distraction/cushion for it to land on if that makes sense #deep insecurities about my star wars fic babies but i also love them so much #thanks for asking!#long post

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