#if anyone has the time to do the transcript please do I’m on mobile like always 🫠

[simplydm]

Impulse’s “what were you guys doingg??” has So many emotions in it lol

[princess-of-purple-prose]

want to talk some about your IDing process? do you do IDs consistently, or in chunks? also, how do you save posts you plan to describe later? i’m impressed by your work ethic so i’d love to hear how u do it so well and so much! :)

🥺🥺 Omg hi Nora!! This is so sweet!!! I don't wanna pass myself off as an expert, but I do definitely have a system that works for me, which I also talk about a little in this post!

I save posts to describe later to drafts, and my golden and most important rule is to NEVER exceed more than ten undescribed posts, because I used to regularly get up to like 60 in my first year of doing IDs and I was absolutely miserable about it </3 I literally cannot express how much this is the major reason I can be so prolific-- seeing the drafts counter up to like 8 is usually my reminder to start doing descriptions rather than continuing to scroll and fill my drafts, and it keeps me from feeling bogged down or overwhelmed! However, my cheat to this is that if I absolutely must save some extra art or whatever, I put the "overflow" in the drafts of a sideblog I use less frequently so I can clear out those as I please

I really like the "consistently vs in chunks" question, because I actually think it's both? I'm generally on mobile, so the trick has been learning how to gauge what posts I can ID as I scroll!! For example, I exclusively do text transcripts on my phone with onlineocr.net, but I've also worked out the level of complexity of art I can mentally tackle while typing on my phone. That means I'm free to save longer/more involved posts and art (like long comics or videos) to drafts until I have time to get on my computer and do a lot of IDs in one sitting!

This also means weighing the kinds of posts I'm willing to put in drafts, since as I said, I'm pretty strict about how many I save. I do a lot of comic IDs, so for those, I consider factors like whether I can use onlineocr to transcribe the text or if I'll have to type it by hand and how complex the composition is (aka, can I transcribe the panels straight to prose or is there more complicated stuff going on that I'd have to figure out how to express?). Generally, I'm more willing to save posts for whatever I'm currently hyperfixating on, since it takes less emotional energy on account of being extra fun to do and consisting of stuff I'm already putting a lot of on my blog! Sometimes I get ambitious and try to save posts for stuff I'm not as into, and they start to rot in drafts as they seem more and more taxing to do, so learning to judge that honestly can help a lot for productivity, at least for me :)

I hope this makes sense and is helpful!!! I always hesitate to label myself as some kind of authority on IDs, but I'm pretty confident about the volume that I do, so I really hope this helps you and anyone else who might need it!!!! Once again, you're so sweet, I hope you're having a great day!!! 💜💜💜

Tl;dr: to write as many IDs I do, I limit the amount of drafts I save, designate descriptions to either be done on mobile or pc, and take interest levels into account when I save posts :)

[blessedarethebinarybreakers]

do you know of an affirming church holding online services during the pandemic?

Ooh yes, let’s start a list y’all!

I will note that a lot of churches seem to be in the process of figuring out what to do in the coming weeks – so keep an eye on this post, I imagine I’ll have more links to share next week.

If you notice any errors in the stuff below, please let me know!

___________

Any live-streamed content (aka stuff you can watch / listen to as it’s being recorded) will have an *asterisk in front of it.

Online Services

Here’s my church in Louisville’s online service from last Sunday – it’s a video format that you go through at your own pace. I’m not sure if they plan on posting a new one each Sunday, but if so, they’d be posting those on their facebook page.

*Cornerstone Metropolitan Community Church in Mobile, Alabama, live-streams its worship services every Sunday 10:45am CST – video.

All Souls Church Unitarian in Washington DC is posting recorded services (music, scripture, sermon) every Sunday on their Facebook page – video format.

Mt Washington Presbyterian Church is posting recorded services every Friday on their Facebook page – video.

*Plymouth Congregational Church, UCC, in New York is live-streaming services every Sunday at 10am EST on their Facebook – video.

*Plymouth Congregational Church, UCC (a different one from the previous link), in Ohio is live-streaming services every Sunday at 10:30am EST on their Facebook – video. (based on photos they seem very vocally LGBT affirming btw)

*Highland Baptist Church in Louisville KY is live-streaming services on Fridays 7pm EST and Sundays 10am EST. video.

*St. Bart’s Episcopal Church in California is live-streaming services at 5pm Pacific time on Saturday and 10:15am Pacific time on Sunday. video.

*First Presbyterian Church in Kentucky is live-streaming services at 11am EST on Sunday. video.

*Village Presbyterian Church in Kansas is live-streaming services at 9:30am Central time on Sundays. video.

St. Luke’s UMC in Indiana is live-streaming services at 9:30am EST on Sunday. video.

____________

Online Bible studies and devotionals

*Rev. Emmy Kegler is a gay pastor who’s been posting morning prayer videos on her Facebook, on her Instagram, and on her Twitter – video format that you can watch live or after the fact.

*Austen Hartke’s new organization for transgender Christians (and their loved ones), the Transmission Ministry Collective, has been holding live “community prayer time” sessions on YouTube – video format.

My fully LGBTQA+affirming home church invites anyone to attend sermon planning each Tuesday at 1pm EST on Zoom, which is like an informal Bible study of whatever scripture passage will be preached on that coming Sunday. For more info, a zoom link, or a request for me to let you know about any other studies or online conversations at Grace, message me!

____________

For more worship content, you can also visit my #worship from home tag. Check out this masterpost of affirming churches’ archived sermons & services in particular – featuring audio, video, and transcript formats.

_____________

Please add on if you know of an explicitly LGBTQ+ affirming church / faith community that’s posting online content during this pandemic! 

[angelofthequeers]

If canon!Luka is too much of a blank slate, and fanon!Luka is basically Adrien-lite, what would you fo if you had to fix his character? Not a stan or anything like that, I agree with you on Luka, it's just I saw many posts like like yours about him but not a single one that said: "This is what I would do if I had to give him depth:", please correct me if I'm wrong and just didn't look hard enough. (I'm on mobile and English isn't my native language, please be gentle (._.))

Just have him not revolve around Marinette. That’s literally it. More detail and an analysis of a few scenes below the cut, because that’s the simple answer to your question but I have to go in-depth to really explain where I’m coming from. And your English is just fine! I’ll kick the kneecaps of anyone who makes fun of you for it, because heck if I can speak anything other than English. All the quotes I use are from the transcripts on this site here.

Luka’s got a few basic traits and some hints of flaws but because his screen time revolves solely around his love interest - with the exception of that one scene in ‘Reflekdoll’ with Juleka - they haven’t been developed nearly as much as they could have been, and so we haven’t seen him developing independently of Marinette because any character development is tied directly to her. For example, it could be a double-edged flaw slash core personality trait that he doesn’t get too angry on behalf of himself but he gets furious when someone he loves is threatened. It would be a nice parallel to Adrien and serve to further show how they’re foils. But since we’ve only seen him getting angry on behalf of Marinette, it’s not nearly as fleshed-out a trait as it could have been. If we’d even had just one scene of him reacting to Juleka’s akumatisation, it would’ve expanded him so much further than as just a love interest.

Whether Kagami is objectively more developed is an argument I don’t want to get into, even if I’m going to analyse her below, but she definitely comes across as a lot more fleshed out because she doesn’t exist to revolve around Adrien. Her debut episode involves Adrien but isn’t focused on him and her (first) akumatisation isn’t due to her role as Adrien’s love interest, whereas Luka’s akumatisation episode focused very pointedly on his role as Marinette’s love interest. He only got mad enough to attract an akuma once Bob Roth threatened Marinette, not when the music of his entire band was threatened - because it’s not just him in Kitty Section, and one of the other members is his sister. I can quote the scene and put bold emphasis on how his anger only really flares when it’s Marinette he’s talking about.

Luka: That’s not true! You copied Marinette’s costumes!

Marinette: And it’s the exact same song. You stole Luka’s music!

XY: Oh, come on. Let’s not exaggerate now. We may have just been a little bit… inspired, that’s all.

Luka: Inspired? You flat out stole! You didn’t design this mask! (rips mask from XY’s head) Marinette did!

Marinette: Listen, it’s not too late to do the right thing. Just tell the truth and let Kitty Section appear on the show. That’s all we’re asking.

Bob: Yeah. First they’ll wanna be in the show. Then they’ll be asking for a cut of the profits. No way! Never saw or heard of Kitten Division.

Luka: Forget it, Marinette. It’s no big deal. Let’s just go.

Marinette: No! It’s not fair! I won’t stand by and let my friends’ work get stolen. (to Bob) If you won’t tell the truth, then I will! Right now, on the air, live! (walks up to the camera)

Bob: (grabs Marinette’s arm) If you do that, I’ll tell them you’re the copycats, not me. I’ve got all the music biz eating out of my hand. So who do you think they’re gonna believe? Me, or a group of nobodies?

Luka: Grrr…

Bob: You’ll never have a future in this business. You’ll never make another costume. And there’ll be no more music for your buddies because as far as everyone’s concerned, you’ll be the rip-off artists.

Luka: Grrr…

.

(The akuma enters the mask Luka is holding)

(’Silencer’)

Luka’s primary concern in this scene is that Marinette was cheated. Marinette is the one bringing up Kitty Section and how their music was stolen, but Luka is laser-focused on how Marinette’s designs were stolen. Even when they first see the stolen music video as a group, he’s focused on Marinette.

Ivan: But that’s our original style!

Luka: (to Marinette) Your unicorn, and your mask!

Marinette: (to Luka) That’s your melody. (to Rose) It’s your music. That’s not fair! That should be you guys up there on TV. There better be a good explanation. We have to have it out with Bob Roth and XY.

Again, Marinette is the one to bring up how Kitty Section was cheated. Marinette and Ivan. And again, Luka was focused on how Marinette was cheated. This episode could have been a great way to flesh out Luka, to show his dedication to his band and his furious desire to protect his loved ones, but it ends up being just a whole 22 minutes of him revolving around Marinette. This is literally the episode of him being The Perfect Boyfriend, for people to project their ideals onto and squee about how he’s so perfect and romantic for Marinette. Leaving out that Adrien and, arguably, Chat haven’t needed flowery speeches and a laser focus on only Marinette/Ladybug to win her heart, and she constantly goes back to him whereas, like I mentioned in my last post about Luka, she seems to kind of just…blush and then move on from Luka’s confession.

Now let’s compare the scene before Kagami’s akumatisation and bold her focus:

Kagami: (She sighs in defeat, then walks up to Adrien, offering her hand for a shake, which Adrien takes. Kagami calmly walks out of the room.)

.

Adrien: I’m going to offer him a decisive match. (He goes running after Kagami, grabbing her saber from the ground as he goes. Kagami is about to get into her car when Adrien catches up to her) Hey! Wait! Your saber!

(Kagami throws her glove into the car and removes her helmet, turning to look at Adrien expectantly. As she does so, Marinette runs up to the school entrance.)

Adrien: (Momentarily stunned by her appearance.) Let’s do a… decisive match? (As he speaks, he notices Kagami’s ring.)

Kagami: What’s the point? You won. There’s no such thing as a second chance in my family. Goodbye. (She gets into her car, which drives off.)

.

Kagami’s mother’s: (Voicemail) I’m not available at the moment. Leave a message. (Beep!)

Kagami: Mother, you thought I was good enough, but… I lost. I won’t be joining the D'Argencourt Academy. (she hangs up and sits back in her seat. The akuma flies into her ring.)

Hawk Moth: Riposte! I am Hawk Moth. I’m giving you a second chance to prove that you are the best fencer of all, but in return, you must bring me Ladybug and Chat Noir’s Miraculous.

Kagami: On my honor, Hawk Moth, I shall be victorious! (She transforms into Riposte, slicing open a new sun roof into her car and leaving.)

(’Riposte’)

Even the locations of the akumas give that little extra boost of characterisation. Kagami’s is in her ring, showing the audience that her drive is to be the best and make the Tsurugi family proud and she and her mother don’t tolerate failure, because they stake their honour on success. Luka’s is in the mask that Marinette made, which just shows that…he’s angry because Marinette was wronged. And yes, Hawkmoth’s speech includes the line of “The anger of a creator whose work has been stolen” but considering that every bit of Luka’s anger up to this point has been focused on Marinette, it just…rings hollow. The Lukanette stans noticed this too, but they took it as a positive and used it to shout about how much Luka loved Marinette and how sweet it was that she was the reason he was akumatised - and believe me, I used to be there, I’ve seen it.

And yes, I know that ‘Oni-Chan’ exists. I know that Kagami’s reason for akumatisation revolved around Adrien and that her akumatised object was the rose that he gave her. But I’m focusing on debut akumas and even then, it shows that there’s a jealous, possessive side to her. It works with her previous appearances to round her out, to show that she’s driven and ambitious but also jealous and possessive. ‘Ikari Gozen’ takes this even further and shows that she’s awkward and wants to make friends but doesn’t know how to interact with other people, and it furthers her focus on honour and worthiness and shows that she ties her self-worth with her success:

Hawk Moth: How tragic it is to feel unloved. Alone, deprived of friendship. (turns a butterfly into an akuma) Fly away, my little akuma, and evilise her!

.

Kagami: I guess I’m not worthy of our friendship; our bloodtypes must be too incompatible.

(’Ikari Gozen’)

Although each episode that she’s in does feel like a totally different portrayal of her, and a lot of criticism/dislike for her came from how she felt all over the place, they’ve also come back together to tie her together as a multifaceted character: someone who’s ambitious and must be the best (’Riposte’), who sees romance as a competition like she does fencing (the whole “change your target” to Adrien and “I never hesitate” to Marinette in ‘Frozer’ and her admission that she has to win Adrien’s heart in ‘Heart Hunter’) - which further adds to her lack of ability to navigate social situations that’s expanded upon in ‘Ikari Gozen’, an episode that also emphasises her fatal flaw of never hesitating. Yes, she’s right to say that hesitation can cost you, but this episode shows that some hesitation is necessary, and jumping into things without thinking and expecting everyone else to do so will definitely lead to some stumbles.

Every time Luka’s on the screen, I don’t really learn anything new about him. All I know is that he’s romantic and likes Marinette and only gets angry on behalf of his loved ones. His first meeting with Marinette focused on how he found her cute and how she was flustered, whereas Kagami’s first meeting with Adrien wasn’t focused on the Adrigami ship outside of Adrien’s Pink Bubble Love Stupor. And first meetings tend to set the tone of how characters are going to interact. Marinette/Adrien and Marinette/Kagami’s first meetings focused on misjudgement and how someone’s impression of another person isn’t necessarily correct, and we see this with how Marinette goes gaga over Adrien and has her moments of seeing him as a perfect Greek god (which isn’t to say that she worships him like a fangirl, but rather that her crush is acting as major rose-tinted glasses) and how she blows Kagami up as an evil villain in her mind until she pops her own bubble and makes herself see Kagami as another person instead of an evil rival. And Ladybug/Chat Noir’s first meeting focused on having to build a partnership on the spot and showed how Chat didn’t fall for her until after she’d stood up to Hawkmoth and declared that they would protect Paris. But Marinette/Luka’s first meeting shows that Marinette gets flustered around pretty boys and Luka just…up and decided that he liked her. It shows that Luka’s focus is going to be Marinette and that’s it.

I’ll cut Luka a little slack and admit that yes, ‘Desperada’ did have him become Viperion because “Desperada attacked my friends and my family”, just as Kagami became Ryuuko to save her mother, and this scene wasn’t specifically focused on how Marinette and only Marinette might have been affected. But the starting scene of the episode once more shows us something else about Kagami - that she’s got a mischievous side and is starting to be rebellious and sneak around behind Tomoe’s back - while showing us nothing about Luka except that he’s…got a crush on Marinette, which appears to be reciprocated, and that he’s good at guitar. Which we already knew.

Marinette: You’re so talented, Luka. How long have you been playing for?

Luka: Since I was in diapers. (strums guitar)(Marinette giggles.)

Alix: I get the feeling Marinette likes Luka a lot.

.

Alix: Your father let you out?!

Adrien: We’re officially at fencing practice right now, but - oh, no, Kagami. Isn’t this the wrong address?

Kagami: Oh, dear, I think you’re right.(Adrien and Kagami chuckle.)

(’Desperada’)

Even the ending scenes of Luka and Kagami’s debut episodes set the tone for them. In Luka’s debut of ‘Captain Hardrock’, the ending is focused on his role as Marinette’s new love interest and as a rival of Adrien’s, even if they don’t actually see each other as rivals.

Adrien: Thanks, uh…

Luka: Luka.

Adrien: Thanks, Luka.

Alya: (To Marinette): Is the compass going crazy?

(’Captain Hardrock’)

On the other hand, Kagami’s debut episode ending focuses on how she craves friends and would love to get to know a friend of Adrien’s, along with her competitiveness and desire to win in a now-friendly rivalry that grows into a friendship and then romance, rather than love at first sight. Just like the meetings between Marinette/Adrien and Ladybug/Chat Noir, it sets the scene and promises more to come, rather than laying all the cards on the table and basically just stating “yeah, this character’s just gonna be a love interest and just be chill and co-exist with their love rival” like the Marinette/Luka and Adrien/Luka ones do.

Adrien: Please, take it. (He again holds out Kagami’s saber to her.)

Kagami: (She glances between Adrien and her saber for a moment before taking it back) I’ll be happy to get to know your friend Marinette! (She and Adrien bow to each other. She and Adrien look at each other for a moment before Adrien holds out his hand.)

Adrien: My name’s Adrien. What’s yours?

Kagami: Kagami. (She takes Adrien’s proffered hand and shakes it, then walks to her car. She looks back at Adrien.) Get ready for that decisive match!

Adrien: I can’t wait, Kagami.

So basically, to give him depth, I wouldn’t focus so much on his guitar. I’d maybe show someone getting annoyed that he defaults to his guitar, because we got one line in ‘Captain Hardrock’ that he finds it easier to speak through music but it doesn’t really flesh him out since no one else comments on it or gets annoyed by it. It’s a trait that’s got nothing else to work off, whereas Kagami’s awkward attempts to socialise with Marinette and her abrasive manner clash with Marinette’s misconceptions of her and create that scene in ‘Ikari Gozen’ where Marinette realises that she’s treated Kagami awfully and Kagami said that she wasn’t worthy of Marinette’s friendship. Like Luka’s guitar, Kagami’s awkwardness and bluntness aren’t inherently a flaw, but they act as one in certain circumstances and end up fleshing her out just that little bit more.

I’d focus a little more on his relationships with everyone else. At least with Kagami, we know that she’s awkward and has no friends outside of Adrien (and later Marinette), so it makes sense that she wouldn’t have very many other relationships. We’ve even seen her relationship with her mother and how her few friendships - Adrien and Marinette - are influencing her to change and become more rebellious, such as the escape scene in ‘Heart Hunter’. I’m not counting Instagram posts, otherwise I’d point out Kagami spending time with Marinette’s friends as well and bonding with them as more evidence. But Luka’s part of a band and canonically hangs out with Marinette and her friends, so to break him free of just being a satellite love interest to orbit around Marinette, just show him interacting with others independent of Marinette. Show more of him being a big brother to Juleka; show how he interacts with Rose, as Juleka’s best friend; show the relationship between him and his mother, because they seem to be more like house(boat)mates at this point, and Anarka and Tomoe have had roughly the same amount of screen time, especially with their kids.

I’d also make him a little more of a rival to Adrien. He doesn’t have to be mean and antagonistic like how the Marinette/Kagami rivalry started - a rivalry doesn’t necessarily have to be negative - but he does have to show some reaction to losing Marinette to Adrien. All he ever does is push her into Adrien’s arms, which is all well and good to show how selfless he is, but he’s never visibly upset. His smile never wavers. He never shows any sign of being upset at losing the girl he supposedly loves to someone else; he’s basically just The Perfect Boyfriend who’s willing to let Marinette go if it means her happiness with no hurt feelings on his part, and the only force of rivalry that he exerts on Adrien is just making Adrien think that Marinette’s into him and therefore isn’t available, which isn’t even anything that Luka himself does, so I can’t even give that credit to him. He just…exists. While Marinette pushes Adrien and Kagami together for Adrien’s happiness, she shows outward signs of distress. She still gets jealous even though this is a decision she made. She’s sad over it. She’s human. But Luka? You could probably replace him with a pot plant and nothing would change.

[voltrontranscript]

VLD S8E13: The End is the Beginning

Season 8 Episode 13: The End is the Beginning

Transcript by @dragonofyang

Summary: As the Paladins and Honerva battle, they find themselves at the source of all realities in the final showdown for the very existence of the universe.

[Google Doc]

Keith: We have to take the fight as far away from here as--

Allura: Now let’s finish this!

Lance: Incoming!

Shiro: We can’t let this happen. She can’t get away. 

[Transition to the Atlas-Voltron mech floating in a black abyss lit by glowing white tendrils.]

Keith: Is everyone okay?

Lance: Yep.

Pidge: Here.

Allura: Yes.

Shiro: Does anyone have eyes on Honerva?

Lance: What is this place?

Allura: I--I’m not sure.

Honerva: This is the beginning. And the end.

Allura: Can--can you all feel that? These strands are…

Lance: The only remaining realities left in existence.

Pidge: This place is the source of time, of space, of…

Hunk: Everything.

Honerva: I will end this once and for all!

Allura: She’s destroying… all realities!

Keith: She’s destroyed everything. There’s only one reality left.

Allura: No, please. If Honerva destroys this final strand, all of existence will end with it!

[Scene change to a white abyss not unlike the rift, but it’s the source of all realities.]

Honerva: Where are we?

Allura: The connected consciousness of all existence.

Honerva: You think you’re safe here? Soon all will cease to exist.

Hunk: You have to stop this. All these worlds, all these realities, they deserve to live.

Honerva: Those realities are flawed and weak, living out the same pathetic cycle of war and pain.

Allura: There is beauty in their flaws. I lost my father, my mother, my planet to this war, but I’ve gained a new family and a purpose stronger than any I could have imagined.

Pidge: Humans began very flawed. There were wars, hate. But with each mistake, they learned and grew.

Shiro: And now we reach out to other worlds to pass on those same lessons and spread them across the entire universe. Like your people once did.

Hunk: And with every new world touched, the message grows.

Keith: Every world, every reality. We wouldn’t exist without the others.

Lance: Our differences are what make us stronger.

Honerva: You think your words mean anything to me? I’ve lived multiple lifetimes, and all of them filled with pain and loss. If I cannot experience the simple joys of life, why should anyone else?

Allura: There was a time when you loved more than just your family, a time when your fascination with how vast the universe is gave way to your desire to help and uplift others.

Lotor: The beginning of Altean alchemy.

Honerva: You tried to help him.

Lotor: ...the tales you grew up with…

Honerva: He was happy. He deserved better. Better than I could give.

Allura: Lotor may have been misguided, but ultimately he wanted to preserve life. Honor your son. Help me change this.

Honerva: I’m sorry, but the damage is done. There’s nothing left to save.

Allura: I can change the quintessence within your vessel. Your son helped me learn how to transform it from a destructive force into a life-giving force. But I cannot do it alone.

Honerva: But, that would require…

Allura: I know the risks. I’m afraid this is where we part ways.

Hunk: Wait, what?

Keith: Allura.

Lance: What?

Pidge: No.

Allura: This is our only chance to undo what has been done, to save all of existence. I have to take it. It is my purpose. Your paths go on. Mine ends here.

Hunk: But there is no Voltron without you.

Allura: Voltron isn’t needed anymore. The rest of the work is up to the people. And they’ll have you to guide them, Hunk. Goodbye, Pidge.

Pidge: I’m gonna miss you, Allura.

Allura: Remain curious and fearless.

Shiro: Most of them won’t know the sacrifice you made so they could live.

Allura: And they’ll never need to. Your selflessness taught me that. Thank you.

Shiro: You never have to thank me for anything.

Allura: Keith… I cannot thank you enough for all you’ve given me.

Keith: Allura, when you accepted me, it helped me to accept myself. Thank you.

Allura: There is greatness in your heart and in your actions.

Lance: No. Allura, there--there has to be another way.

Allura: There is no other way. This is all we have.

Lance: But you’re too important to the cause. You’re--you’re too important to me.

Allura: I’ll always be with you, Lance. And I’ll always love you.

[Transition to the two mechs once more as all realities explode from between the two of them and the paladins wake up.]

Keith: Is this…? Are we…?

Pidge: Yeah. It’s our reality.

Lance: She did it. She saved us all.

Hunk: I don’t remember that planet being there before.

Lance: It’s Altea.

[Timeskip transition, with the text reading “One Year Later…” as we open on the flame of Feyiv.]

Keith: With the return of Planet Daibazaal, the Galra Empire is at a crossroads. For too long, the people of this extraordinary civilization have been manipulated by a dictatorship that placed a misguided sense of self-preservation above all else. It was a tragic, unfortunate series of events that led us down this dark, never-ending path of power and greed. But now we, the citizens of the Galra Empire, have an opportunity to make right all of the injustices set into motion by our forefathers. Because of the sacrifice made by Princess Allura, we have been given a second chance to come together in rebuilding the Galra Empire by joining the Galactic Coalition and ushering in a new era of peace across the universe.

[Scene change to the IGF-Atlas flying through deep space.]

Male Chancellor: Your armies have attacked us at every turn.

Female Chancellor: If you had just agreed to our terms, the attacks would not be necessary.

Male Chancellor: You are occupying a peaceful settlement!

Female Chancellor: Our people were starving!

Hunk: Chancellors. Please, sit. Dinner is served. The filet of bandrillo, spiced with the seasoning from the plains of planet Mabo, alongside pilaf of long-grain forlongian brill from the vast fields of Antidoll. And it’s accompanied by a cider made from the petals of the Altean juniberry flower. Bon appetit.

Female Chancellor: Delicious.

Hunk: And it wouldn’t be possible without the cooperation of all three planets of the Xritoo system. Much like my cooking crew, comprised of aliens from all across the cosmos working together to bring you this delicious meal. Princess Allura, the very person we celebrate on this day, once said, “We are always stronger together.” If the people of your planets work together, so much more can be achieved.

Shiro: Honor her by following in her footsteps and walk in the path towards peace.

[Scene change to Pidge and Matt in a robotics lab as they build an android.]

Pidge: All done.

Matt: So, have you been thinking of any names?

Pidge: Yeah, I was thinking of Chip.

Matt: You and your puns.

Colleen: Katie, your father’s got the teludav all warmed up for you. Better get going. You don’t want to be late.

Matt: Don’t worry, Pidge, I’ll have Chip all ready to go by the time you get back.

Pidge: Just don’t initialize until I return. I want to witness Chip’s first moments of consciousness.

Sam: Have a good time, honey.

Pidge: I will, Dad.

[Scene change to New Altea, where a new Castle of Lions is being constructed.]

Merla: Construction is on course.

Coran: Ah, most excellent! How are the preparations for tonight’s feast coming? It has to be perfect. It will be the first Celebration of Allura. The first of many to come.

Merla: As soon as we can get access to the location, we can begin setup. But it’s currently occupied by your friend, sir.

Lance: And had Princess Allura not seen that there was still good left in Honerva, we most likely would not be sitting here today. She grew to understand that there is good in everyone.

Balmera Girl: Even Emperor Zarkon?

Lance: Yes, even Emperor Zarkon.

Balmera Girl: Do you miss her?

Lance: I do. Very much. But I’m reminded of her everywhere I look. So in that way, she’s still very much with me. With all of us, actually.

Altean Child: Now that you no longer pilot the Red Lion, what do you do?

Lance: Well, I help run a small farm back on my home planet with my family. It’s a simple life, just the way I like it.

Altean Instructor: Alright, everybody, I think Paladin Lance has somewhere to be in a few doboshes, and you all have class to get back to.

Kids: Aw!

[Scene change to the paladins and Coran all sitting at a table loaded with food in front of Allura’s memorial statue.]

Pidge: I mean, seriously, though, Earth has come a long way. It’s a hub for all alien activity now that my dad’s stabilized his teludav technology.

Shiro: That’ll make travel on the Atlas much easier. We’ll be able to reach so many more sectors with the improved mobility. Not to mention the supplies we’ll save with the shorter journey.

Hunk: Yeah, yeah! We’ll have so much more room for the cooking ingredients. People are just so much easier to reason with when they’re full. Man, this diplomacy thing isn’t nearly as easy as Allura made it look.

Keith: Right? But then, she did make everything look easy.

Shiro: Speaking of which, how are things going on Daibazaal?

Keith: We’re calling for an election to select the Galran representative for the Galactic Coalition. So that’s a step in the right direction.

Lance: Let me guess, they asked you to be their leader and you said no?

Keith: Yeah, pretty much.

Lance: Classic Keith.

Coran: Allura would be proud of your decision, Keith. I think she knew that you would always be the key to the Galra’s future. Just around this table, I see so many lives touched by her actions. For some of us she was a diplomat, a teacher, a leader, and a friend. But to those of us around this table, she will always be family. To Allura!

Paladins: To Allura!

[Scene change to Lance’s quarters in the middle of the night.]

Lance: Huh?

[Scene change to the epilogues, which are without dialogue. The text narration follows in order.]

The Holt family established the next generation of Legendary Defenders.

Hunk created a culinary empire, bringing the universe together, one meal at a time.

Lance continued to spread Allura’s message while surrounding himself with the things he loved.

Kolivan and Krolia became the Galra representatives to the Galactic Coalition.

Keith helped transition the Blade of Marmora to a humanitarian relief organization.

Shiro found his happiness and finally left the battle behind.

End.

[imagineclaireandjamie]

Here I am, minding my own business scrolling through when I stumble upon deep within. Already I’m so invested! Thank you for this wonderful story... can’t wait to read more!

I know I’ve answered this prompt, but it made me so happy that I did it twice. Enjoy the next part:

Deep Within The Darkness Peering: Part i; Chapter THREE.

“Have you ever done anything impetuous?” The question was rhetorical and John knew it having known Claire since college, she already knew that he had. “The other week someone was airlifted in, a prisoner, and I need to help him.”

“What? Claire? Are you insane?” He spluttered, holding the phone close to his ear as he paced the length of his large office in shock. A high flying barrister in the city, John rarely had to attend to questions from her regarding his job so it had come as a shock to him when she’d called so out of the blue.

“Before you say anything, he hasn’t put me up to this. Please, John, just hear me out, okay?”

“Jeez, why could this not be something simple?” He asked, massaging his temples with his free hand.

“He was up for parole but the fight that landed him in my care got back to the governors and whilst he was in the hospital they denied his request and rubber stamped it. He’s been told he can’t appeal, that it’s final. But he didn’t start the scuffle, he was so badly injured, he flatlined once on the table and spent another week in an induced coma. He told me he didn’t fight back and I trust him. I don’t know what happened, what they did to him, but something tells me their purpose was to keep him there for the foreseeable future.”

“What’s his name?” Pulling his laptop from its bag, he let it load whilst grabbing a tumbler and a new bottle of whisky, clearly it was going to be a long night.

“Jamie,” she began, shaking her head and correcting herself as she wrapped her frozen hands around a warm cup of tea, “James Fraser.”

“Christ, Claire! You know what he did right?”

Taken aback by the fact that John knew who Jamie was without even having to look him up, she nearly dropped the boiling liquid onto her lap. “Yes, but--”

“But nothing. You cannot be serious. He *beat* a captain beyond recognition and left him for dead in an alley. If they denied his request then it’s because his conviction is too severe, that and they probably don’t trust that he can rehabilitate himself." His research was leading him deeper into the case as he read the transcripts from various stages of Fraser’s trial. “How can we prove that what he says about the fight in prison is accurate? You might be right, he might not have instigated it or even lashed out during it, but I doubt there’s any evidence to support his claims.”

“So there’s nothing to be done?” Hanging her head in defeat, she let out the breath she’d been holding, her stomach feeling hollow at the prospect of failing him.

“You didn’t make him any promises, did you?” He asked cautiously.

“No. I didn’t even mention that I was contemplating this, I didn’t know what chance I had of getting a hold of you in time, let alone you knowing his case.”

“I don’t - really, I just know *of* it.”

“And what do you know about the cop, the guy he attacked? One of the guards mentioned him in passing.”

John could tell there was more to it by the tone of her voice but didn’t press for information. Shaking his head, he considered his options. He knew some home truths about the man, opinions and facts that he’d heard pass through the high court offices and as much as he trusted Claire, she seemed to have a vested interest in Fraser and he didn’t want to lend hope to her cause where there was none.

Against his better judgement, though, he stuck to the truth - reciting as much as he felt able to divulge. “His name is Captain Jack Randall. Quite a decorated officer, he has been known to employ less than favourable methods of extraction when it comes to confessions but nothing has ever come from the claims. He’s like Marmite, it seems, either you love him or…” he took a deep breath; the truth, he told himself again, “you hate him.”

“John,” she asked, her spine tingling as she felt hope and fear mingle in her belly, “is there a chance that this...Randall...is stretching the truth? O-or that he caused the fight? To try and keep Jamie inside?”

“I don’t know, Claire. Honestly. I’d have to look further into it. But, and I’m playing devil's advocate here, absolutely anything is possible. It’s rare, but where there is corruption, it often runs deep.”

-- --- --

Throughout her next shift she ignored the feeling in her gut, the twinge of discomfort that had the power to render her immobile if she stopped to think about it for too long. Keeping her promise, she went to see Jamie one last time before they discharged him but they didn’t speak much. She wanted to reach out to him, to tell him about the conversation she’d had with John, but something told her that it was unfair to raise his hopes - especially with a new batch of guards on duty, two she did not know.

“Do you need anything?” She asked, placing the back of her hand lightly against his forehead mimicking the motions of checking his temperature to keep her hands busy. “Something more to eat, or your wounds redressed...just in case?” Without asking for further permission, though, she took the salve that she’d placed in the draw beside his bed and massaged a little more into the chafed sores that lined his wrists. She’d taken to silently doing this every day. The handcuffs that bound him rubbed, and she could tell he was bothered by it - though he would never say.

“Thank ye, nurse Beauchamp,” she could tell by his immediate formality that he was being wary, “but I dinna need anything more.”

“Take care of yourself, Mr Fraser.” She said, returning the sentiment.

Pulling the blanket up and over his stomach, she smiled sadly before returning back to her waiting patients. It was hard to leave him, much harder than she’d originally thought but John was a bloody good barrister. If anyone could help it was him.

The rest of the day dragged at an exceedingly slow pace and every moment she had time to herself she considered going back to check on him one last time. And every time she did, Glenna would raise a brow at her and subtly shake her head. There was nothing more she could do for now and loitering around would only arouse suspicion.

She did, however, hang around the nurses station long enough to watch the corridor clear as they led him away. Looking at his feet, he didn’t glance up though she willed him to, just for one last chance at reassurance. Her heart dropped in her chest the moment he was out of sight, a feeling of loneliness taking root in the base of her stomach.

“Come now, Claire,” Glenna whispered, rubbing her elbow gently, “final rounds before dinner, maybe Mrs Greaves will tell us another tale of her time in the army, aye?”

The red button on her answering machine was blinking wildly by the time she arrived home. As she threw her keys in the bowl beside the door and removed her shoes, she pressed play, put her work lanyard by her keys and half listened to the first message.

“Stupid spam companies.” She cursed as a woman with a cockney accent wittered on about accident claims. It wasn’t until she heard John’s voice that she began to fully pay attention. Quickly rewinding the tape, she replayed the message, the breath catching in her throat as hope swelled in her chest.

“Hi Claire, it’s me, John,” his manicured English accent seemed more prominent on the tape making each of his words clear and pronounced, “it turns out you were right about the fight. There’s video evidence from the security footage that shows the prisoners setting to your Mr Fraser. It’s too pixelated to make out what happened to start it, or what they used to cause him such damage but it’s enough for me to make a clear case for another hearing of his probation case. I called the hospital, they said you’d be off by midnight. Please get some rest now and meet me in the cafe at the end of your road for breakfast - we’ll talk more then.”

Pulling out her mobile, she penned him a quick message, a real smile covering her face as she slumped against the wall, relief coursing through her.

Morning seemed ages away, the hours ticking by slowly. Unable to relax, Claire sat in bed with a cup of tea and a new book. The mattress was comfy, a new one she’d purchased not long ago, and she couldn’t help but hope Jamie wasn’t in too much pain sleeping, once again, on his prison cot. The alarm woke her some time later as she blinked her eyes sleepily, sat upright in bed -her book now resting on her lap- and slid herself from beneath the sheets. Noting the time, she dressed quickly, pulling the scarf around her neck as she walked the few steps between her apartment and the tiny greasy spoon she occasionally purchased breakfast from.

John was already there, looking massively out of place in his suit and tie, supping quietly on his first cup of coffee. His first words to her, though, were only cautiously optimistic.

“I just have to warn you, Claire, there is still a lot standing between Fraser and his freedom. Remember, he attacked a policeman, he’s served half his jail time and has amassed a good record whilst being incarcerated. That,��� he said, looking pointedly at her, “will work in his favour and now we can be certain he didn’t instigate or take part in the assault against himself it’ll make him seem more of a good candidate. But, there is one thing you have to know…”

She waited, certain that no matter what John said she was set on her course. “It won’t matter.” If they had cause to hide information about the skirmish to scupper his probation case, there was no telling what else they were capable of.

Surveying her expression, he could tell she wasn’t backing down. “He has no place of residence listed on his file. With no home, no accepting family, he’ll just be denied again. Once he’s served his time, in full, they’ll let him free without worrying too much about that. But for probation to be approved you need to provide evidence of a fixed, permanent address.”

“So...what if I offer mine up to him, just for the duration of his probation.”

“You do know how long that would be, don’t you?”

She didn’t, but she knew he’d clue her in.

“Four years, his total sentence is eight years.”

“Shit, John, he’s been inside since he was twenty!?” The colour drained from her face, her nails digging into the rough wooden table. Burying the shock, she swallowed, wrapping her hands around her small glass of water to keep herself still. “It doesn’t matter, I don’t care how long it would be for, my offer remains the same. If he needs a sponsor, I’ll do it.”

Sighing, John brought his hand to rest over hers. “This is all very gallant of you and I’m sure he’ll be really grateful to you, but I need you to seriously consider the consequences of this decision, of the choice you’re making.”

“I trust him, John. I know you think it’s madness, I can tell by the look in your eyes. And yes, I don’t really know him all that well. But I just *know*, something in my heart tells me this is the right thing to do, that he needs this. You didn’t see him after he got the news. You didn’t see his face, the fear etched deep behind his eyes. He’s terrified, John. Petrified. It might be a naive notion, but I got the distinct impression he didn’t feel safe going back there. For all we know, the damage might have already been done. But if anything else happens to him, I’ll never be able to forgive myself.”

“Alright then.” Squeezing the side of her palm, he took one last sip of his drink and placed the mug back onto the table. “Just know, though, if any harm comes to you, I’ll never forgive myself. And if he does something to jeopardize his probation, it may directly impact on you. On your home, your career...your wellbeing.”

“Thank you.” Resting her head against his shoulder, she breathed an easy breath, the scent of boiled coffee filling her lungs. “I really appreciate you taking the time to work on this for me.”

After a brief term dating at the beginning of university, John had confessed his true proclivities to Claire and they had turned into fast friends. His family, like hers, had a certain reputation and his parents were clear on his path. Degree, law school, marriage and kids; and though they hadn’t been outwardly disappointed by his confession when he’d finally worked up the guts to tell them, his relationship had suffered because of it.

Claire had stuck by him, had moved to Glasgow shortly after he’d been promoted here and had become more like a sister than a best friend. Her story had hit him harder than he cared to admit. With no remaining family of her own, she had a tendency to gravitate towards people who needed a home and even if Fraser turned out to be unworthy of her help, he knew she wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about it if she didn’t at least try.

“I’ll do what I can. It could take a while, a few weeks maybe, so don’t panic if we don’t have an answer immediately.”

“Will it take as long as the original hearing.”

“Six months? Gosh no. I could take up to a month, depending on whether the board drag their heels, but if we put a little pressure on them -not enough to anger them, mind- we should have an answer in a week or two.”

[daisy--sorbet]

heyyy, hope you’re having a good night!! if you have the energy and feel okay answering, what’s up w taz graduation? i haven’t checked it out yet but i was thinking ab it. just asking bc you’re the first person i saw talk ab the show having serious issues, but also feel free to not answer this!! hope you have a good week!

i took a nice hot bath, had a strawberry kiwi capri-sun, and did a nice face mask and i’m feeling pretty good - so, y’know what anon? let’s talk about it. 

for anyone who likes taz grad who sees this post: it’ll be tagged with “taz grad hate” (although i feel hate is definitely a very strong word - it’s for the simplicity of tagging it) - so please block the tag if you don’t want to see this post (especially because i put a readmore on a post before and it didn’t show up on mobile and instead gave the full post). mobile tumblr has a tag blocking system, so please feel free to use it! i don’t mind haha

anyway, so this is... probably going to be a lost post, and i wanna go ahead and preface it: this absolutely isn’t any hate on the mcelroys themselves. i love the brothers and their dad a lot, and while i doubt any of them would ever see this (or have it sent to them, or shown to them, because im pretty sure they try to distance themselves from this sort of thing), i just want to make it clear that criticizing a product is different than bashing a person. which brings me to the point of if i do end up sounding as if im bashing someone - please call me out on it! it’s not my intention to target anyone.

with that said, let’s talk about this campaign.

so my problems are as thus: the railroading, the shipping (a fandom problem, but it’s present in the podcast), the NPCs, and some misc problems others have addressed better than i have.

which. i know. that’s basically the entire podcast. (i promise i’ll bring up some positive points to balance it all out). keep in mind i’ve only personally listened to... what, six episodes? and it was enough for me to drop it. some people dropped it first ep, some dropped it ep four, and others are still forcing themselves to listen.

the railroading

there was a time i could handle travis and his railroading [making sure the story goes exactly the way he has planned], because it was the very beginning of the podcast and that’s what you can kind of expect from a plot-heavy podcast. hell, i wouldn’t mind it if the interactions and goofs weren’t a huge part of why i listen to TAZ in particular (which, by the way, is why amnesty still stuck out to me - even if there was a direction griffin wanted to push them towards, the interactions between the players (or players and npcs) made up for any railroading). it’s kind of hard to not railroad a little when it’s story-heavy and you’re trying to built up a world that you’ve put a lot of thought into. however, a huge part of d&d is the spontaneity. 

it’s kind of why i think balance was so popular. while there was railroading towards the end, there was the presence of improv that made it all good. most mcelroy content is enjoyed because of the goofs. the magic brian moment is memorable. the jenkin’s fight still stands out because it was funny (albeit a result of some bad rolls). the boys teasing angus sticks out because the four would play well off of each other. even without that - griffin had talked about how he had to roll with things (the fact he had planned for a fight atop the train, but ditched the idea for what his family members came up with instead). even in amnesty, a couple moments that stick out to me still are ned with the jetpack taking out a pizza hut sign, and the scene with the water where jake was trapped inside. they aren’t as fun, but they still stand out as “things i didnt expect to really end the way they did.”

with grad, it’s just. one after another. the thundermen want to subpoena a xorn? cool, let’s run with that until actually the xorn gets fed rocks and goes home and who cares about the subpoena now. fitzroy wants to keep his cloak? lets talk about it for a while and you also get no rolls to even try to keep it. fitzroy goes to meet higglemas in his office? oh, why are you here fitzroy? im going to keep asking you until you answer fitzroy? you arent getting out of this scene until you answer me, fitzroy, so just tell me why you’re here already, alright, fitzroy? 

and even later in a episode i read a transcript of: hey argo, remember how you have this whole secret motivation? fuck you, im gonna talk about it here in your dream and reveal it to listeners and remove any tension you had building up, and you dont get a choice to talk about it because this all-knowing villain knows all about it :)

and even NOW in the latest episode, there’s a comment that “we should cap argo’s skills here” instead of just... making the checks higher. rogues are good at certain things and usually arent the best in battles. better hope argo never makes it to level 11, because who knows how people are gonna handle the fact that he gets a skill that’ll make it so certain skills can’t have a roll below 10 (reliable talent). 

(griffin, thankfully, calls travis out for that, but still - travis, why would you even imply that, considering you should be aware of how rogues work considering magnus multiclassed into rogue and you played one on tiny heist?)

and in the newest episode, their Big Bad chaos (which, god, i personally hate that name) straight-out says “dont do this” to the thundermen. travis tries to say, on twitter, “a character saying “dont do this” is different than me saying it” but i need to point out that it’s one thing if you’ve said “no” in character but worked with the PCs doing otherwise, but the railroading says differently.

the shipping

ill try to make this quick, because it’s nothing to do with the fandom (ship however you want, man) - but i really feel the need to draw attention to this.

fitzroy, as confirmed by griffin in a ttazz episode, is asexual. not aroace, but ace nonetheless. and i find it... troublesome that the idea of rainer and fitzroy having a relationship is still pushed nonetheless, despite the fact that fitzroy (to my knowledge) was never once shown to reciprocate any feelings. not to be that person, but i really hope that grad doesnt have any sort of romantic relationships in it (at least - not between NPCs and PCs unless they’re actually like... warranted?). 

i dont know, man. one of my closest friends is ace, and i know she wants a relationship, but i think it would reassure her a lot to see an ace character who isn’t pushed into one in case she ever changes her mind. someone once mentioned that they hope fi/tz/ra/in doesnt happen because theres relationships that have that “oh, you can just date” and it goes upwards there to “oh, you can have sex just to please them <3″  (which, to be honest, is kind of a gross mindset - if someone isnt interested, they arent interested).

also, uh, the TTAZZ where griffin states this, there’s kind of the mention tht the whole sexuality question was posed in relation to the episode “creative thinking” (the dream one i mentioned earlier) - which. uh. i don���t know if anyone caught this, but... rainer straight-up wrote fitzroy a letter in the dream like “are you going to accept my proposal? a girl doesn’t like to be left waiting” which. leaves me with some gross feelings because uh.

if... if the whole thing about fitzroys sexual orientation was addressed here, then why would you push your ship anyway? feels kinda iffy, man.

to which i want to say: fitzroy can date. he’s allowed to date. griffins allowed to do whatever he wants with his character. but when a lot of the flirting is met with nothing, i’m not gonna see the chemistry there. just because travis ships it doesn’t mean it’s canon.

the npcs

ah yes. lets talk about the npcs.

there’s... a lot. a lot a lot. i think travis trimmed down how many were present in a scene, but uh. there’s still a lot. and... uh... i kinda wish there wasn’t?

look, i know im going back to balance/amnesty, but just. hang in there for a moment. chill with me. vibe. 

balance didnt have too many NPCs present at all times in each mini-arc. gerblins had some big names like barry, klarg, gundren, killian, yeemick, and magic brian. rockport limited had angus, jess, graham the juicy wizard jenkins, and all of the tom bodetts mentioned. 

amnestys first arc had mama, barclay, jake, dani, pigeon, kirby, minerva, and that was about it for like. big names? and not all of them were present in each scene. 

in the first episode of grad alone: gary, hernandez, jimson, rolandus, zana, rhodes, buckminster eden, rainer, leon, tomas, hieronymous, higglemas, stuart, jackle, bartholomeus, mulligan, groundsy, germaine/victoria/rattles (the skeleton crew). and those are the ones i wrote down (minus groundsy, who i just. ignores. idk him).

like holy shit, my english prof got onto me for having too many characters in my first chapter and i didnt even have half the amount listed there! 

it’s just a huge cast. does this take place in a school? yes! theres bound to be a lot of students present - but you don’t have to name every single one of them, at least not in the first episode!

the miscellaneous

i don’t know if travis ever actually addressed it, but wheelchair users have actually like... said that rainer’s introduction bothered them, because she was like “please ask me abt my wheelchair :)” when travis saying she was in an ornate chair would have sufficed. 

uh. the colonization vibes people have discussed within the centaur arc. mentioned here, the replies here, and this post (and its replies) here as well.

the overall lack of d&d when the campaign was kind of advertised as a return to d&d if i remember correctly

also no one seems to be taking literally any criticism at all which like. ignoring the petty shit, sure, but people have stopped donating to taz and their listener-ship must have dropped some during this entire time - you’d think that maybe someone could say “we need to find out why people dont like the thing and fix the thing” consider this is. yknow. their livelihood.

anyway uhhh 

tl;dr: travis railroads way too much (even now), the shipping in-game has become pushy and gross (especially bc its shoving a relationship onto an asexual character), theres too many npcs that dont stand out well enough, and no ones taking any criticism about the major issues with grad. 

[drunkin-kong-donic]

Zavazz: A GUIDE

HEY, so I promised I’d make a ‘tutorial’ on the new OTP that’s swept me by storm since others seem to want to get into it too. This is a helpful guide diving into Zavok x Zazz and why i like it! Two of the Deadly Six from the game Sonic Lost World. If you’re here, you are already interested in what these two murder zeets can offer. So I’m not going to get into how underrated the zeti are. That will be for another time, so I won’t get into the zeti’s lore very much in this guide because I’m assuming anyone reading this already know the basics. Anyway, LET’S INTRODUCE the two of them. I predict this is going to get kind of long, so the rest will be under the cut. I’ll be using mostly canon evidence for the ship’s dynamics in this thread. I’ll make one that incorporates more of my headcanons later down the road otherwise this would be even LONGER than it already is. Note that this OTP ain’t exactly your sunshine and daisies kind of ship. They’re both evil and sadists so keep that in mind, and if that ain’t your cup of tea there are plenty of other OTPs the sonic fandom has to offer. Now then, without further ado...

Zavok, is a 148 year old zeti and current leader of the Deadly Six, who live on the hidden world of the Lost Hex. 

and Zazz, is 127 year old zeti that presides over the Windy Hill Zone on the Lost Hex, the first area Sonic enters in the beginning of the game which makes Zazz the first boss.

So let’s get right into it shall we? If you aren’t aware of the plot in Sonic Lost World, basically Eggman invades this hidden mini-world that is floating in the atmosphere called The Lost Hex that Sonic and Tails happen to crash land on after Eggman shoots them out of the sky. Eggman has enslaved the natives there (the zeti) to do his bidding which a mystical shell called the Cacophonic Conch and set them to collect animals for his robots and destroy Sonic. 

After Sonic starts showing his presence on the Lost Hex, Eggman tells Zavok to take care of him before he can start messing with his plans.  And before Zavok can even go beyond contemplating what to do or which of the Deadly Six to send out, Zazz jumps at the chance to volunteer. Now this is where we get into the meat and bones of Zavazz. Because we see it from Zazz’s first appearance and it continues throughout the rest of the game and other media that features Zazz.  And that is that Zazz will do absolutely anything for a chance to impress Zavok. And Zavok KNOWS THIS.

Look at how Zazz’s expression changes during the course of this exchange with Zavok when he’s being complimented by his leader. Going from ‘aw yeah im ready to kick some Sonic ass’

Straight to genuine excitement like a puppy dog who did something good. 

Now, Zavok is a total bastard, and this shouldn’t come to anyone’s surprise. He’s a villain after all, and he is EVIL, as are the rest of the zeti. And Zavok is shown countless times manipulating and using the other Deadly Six (besides Master Zik) for his own gain. And for Zazz, it’s mostly using him as battle fodder to gain information on his enemies so he can better learn on how to defeat them. This is seen more than once, as Zavok boosts Zazz’s confidence by showering him in compliments and then sending him off into death traps which Zazz eagerly jumps into. (anything to please the boss) It’s in Sonic Lost World AND in Sonic Runners, a mobile app that had several Zazz Raid Events.

A quick summary of the Sonic Runners 2nd Zazz Raid event (which you can watch yourself here)  Is that Zazz is trying to get back at Sonic and his friends for defeating him during the first Raid event. And after each time you defeat him, he goes and consoles each member of the Deadly Six to get advice on ways to get more powerful, thus upping the difficulty of his boss fights every time you face him as a player. It’s actually really cool because it had cutscenes of all the Deadly Six interacting with one another! And they’re all so good. But when I was watching it, I noticed the stark difference between the way Zazz behaved around the other zeti compared to Zavok. When he was talking to Zomom, Zeena, Zor, and even Master Zik, he was his usual chompin’-at-the-bit, ready-to-let-lose-and-kill ragey self. Even with Master Zik, who was trying to get Zazz to calm the fuck down and meditate. (seriously, he ends up absorbing the power of the power rings by punching them LOL) 

I don’t want to clog up this thread with screenshots, but I’ll post the transcript below between Zavok and Zazz, in which Zavok convinces Zazz that he’d please him more to die for him in battle than to run away from the fight which Zazz eagerly agrees to after getting gassed up by Zavok. 

Zazz: "I don't believe it! I just... I just don't believe it! All these power ups, and I still can't beat that rodent!"

Zavok: “Sonic seems to be giving you some trouble, Zazz...”

Zazz: "He ain't givin' me trouble, it's just... I can't seem to beat him, that's all."

Zavok: "Really, Zazz? That little hedgehog is too much for you...?"

Zazz: "No! It's not that! It's just... Next time! I'll get him next time!" 

Zavok: "You know that we consider defeat to be unacceptable, Zazz... But there's no shame in being wiped out in battle."

Zavok: “The only shame is in running away! Hiding from reality! Refusing to fight on!"

Zazz: "Fightin' on, huh... But... It's just..."

Zavok: "I know how determined you are to win, Zazz... I wouldn't have you in the Deadly Six otherwise..."

Zavok: "Now come on... Show me. Show me your determination... Show me how much you want to win..."

Zazz: "HyaaaAAARGH! Yeah... Yeah, this is it! I'd forgotten about this feelin'!"

Zazz: "Hyaaah hah hah! That was my problem all along! I didn't want to win bad enough! Well now that's changed - now I want it really bad!"

Zazz: "I'm gonna show you what I'm really made of, Sonic! I'm gonna drag you down to the very depths of hell!"

Also note that Zazz is his most powerful after his exchange with Zavok. :) But even so, right after Zavok has the following exchange with Master Zik. Once again showing that Zavok will have no problem sending off Zazz into a fight he know’s he’s going to lose.  Zik: "Are you sure it was wise, telling him all that, Zavok? I mean, it doesn't matter how much he wants it. He's not going to beat Sonic..."

Zavok: "I am well aware of that, Master Zik. I know poor Zazz doesn't stand a chance..."

Zavok: "However, he WILL allow us to collect all sorts of useful data that may lead to us beating the rodent one day."

Zavok: "After all, the Deadly Six always win in the end, don't we..." Zik: "Yes. And success is our only source of pride... Don't worry, I haven't forgotten." 

Zavok: "Heh heh... Sonic may think he's got the better of us, but we're just biding our time. When the Deadly Six finally strike, that rat is done for!"

I can see how this seems like Zavok doesn’t give a single shit about Zazz or what happens to him, but evidence within context states that even though Zavok’s aware that Zazz can’t stand up against Sonic, he knows that he’ll be fine in the end because Zazz can handle it. After all, Zazz seems to be indifferent to pain. 

Because it’s curious to note that out of all the Deadly Six, Zazz is the only one during boss fights in Lost World that won’t run away or return to his mech once he’s knocked down. (Excluding zomom who’s cornered rather than confronted) Instead he rushes at Sonic full force, uninhibited by the fear of getting the crap kicked outta him.  However, saying this, it’s also interesting to notice that despite Zazz having no qualm to physical injury. He does indeed have a fear of disappointing Zavok and getting beat by him instead which you can see from the quote  "The boss is gonna beat me!"—Zazz after being defeated for the last time. (taken from Zazz’s wiki page) Now, there’s no evidence that Zavok actually does this. In fact, I tend to lean more towards that it’s just self-inflicted fear that Zazz has if Zavok ever finds out because that would disappoint Zavok. And that would just be the absolute worst thing that could ever happen to him. But I could be wrong, after all the zeti are extremely sadistic creatures and take pleasure in inflicting all kinds of violence. I’m just not sure if they do it to each other.

And I'm like 90% sure Zazz the only one who has dialogue referring to Zavok when Sonic is fighting him. So as scatterbrained as Zazz is, he’s still worried and has in mind about what Zavok’s and the others are gonna think. Zazz’s desperation for impressing Zavok is well... Impressive, and he actually seems to be the only zeti in the Deadly Six obsessed with the notion of it. After accidentally capturing Tails instead of Sonic, Zavok berates the others for a hot second. And I noticed that Zazz is the only one who visibly cringes from being yelled at by Zavok. (it’s very slight, but you can also notice him reel his tongue in as an added reaction)

HOWEVER, despite Zavok being a total bastard most of the time, (don’t forget! he’s evil!) I can also prove that he isn’t entirely heartless. Zavok has shown many times within the games to care about the Deadly Six above anything else. (I’d say the only thing he’d put above his fellow zeti is himself and whatever ulterior motives he has hidden up his sleeve.) The first thing he commands the Deadly Six to do after breaking free from Eggman’s control is revenge. After this, he spends the rest of the game fucking with Sonic and Eggman before ultimately trying to destroy the entire world. All because Eggman and Sonic thought they could fuck with his Deadly Six.   

Also back to Zavazz dynamics; Zazz ONLY cares about impressing Zavok. When under the command of Eggman, Eggman was openly berating their performance and how disappointed he was in them being unable to defeat Sonic, and the only thing Zazz does is yawn. So even with another ‘boss’, Zazz only cares about Zavok’s approval and is loyal only to him. 

Even this small little detail, when Zavok is standing up for himself and the other Deadly Six, Zazz is shown behind the safety of Zavok making faces at Eggman. (this screenshot is from the japanese dub since Zazz actually makes little noises during this cutscene and makes his teasing more evident)

Anyway, I really do think that Zazz is Zavok’s right hand, yes man, and is most definitely his most loyal member of the Deadly Six. (This excludes Master Zik, since he’s the former leader of the Deadly Six and is in a semi-retirement phase and kinda acts as advisor for the bunch of them) Zazz is the only one who doesn’t need to be convinced to follow orders and is even seen with Zavok in the Frozen Factory Zone when they’re gloating to Sonic and Eggman about destroying their world, 

even laughing together after Zavok steps back and allows Zazz to have some fun tormenting them too.

Zavok loves carnage and destruction, relishing in others having the same nature as well. He’s a lot more cool headed than Eggman and other villains, showing respect to those who impress him with their viciousness. This is very evident in his dialogue from Team Sonic Racing, where he frequently seems to compliment other racers when they attack him. Here are a few as examples:

“Vicious, Amy... I approve!” 

“You’re a savage competitor, Blaze.”

In Lost World he states he would respect Sonic if he didn’t hate him so much, given the frustration of trying to defeat him the entire game.

"Tenacious little hedgehog. I'd respect you if I didn't hate you so much."—Zavok taunting Sonic during Sky Road Zone 4.

Also if you defeat him in boxing in the Mario & Sonic 2016 Rio Games he actually shows the player a decent amount of respect for being stronger, welcoming the challenge.

Speaking of the Mario & Sonic Olympics and other Sonic spinoff games that feature the zeti, Zavok and Zazz are ALWAYS together. Thus proving more that Zazz is totally Zavok’s first go-to in terms of the other zeti. They are BOTH the only zeti featured in Rio 2016, the mobile app Sonic Forces Speed Battle as the Kings of Carnage, and now the new Mario & Sonic Olympics 2020 Tokyo Games.

And shown in the Mario & Sonic Olympics 2020 Tokyo trivia section, Zavok cannonly sees and trusts Zazz as a brave and powerful warrior.

This also leads me into my next point, which are Zavok’s feelings towards Zazz since we mostly just covered Zazz’s side of the sweet sweet Zavazz.

Now, Zavok is a villain, and like all villains, he’s tied with an incredible ego even if he doesn’t outwardly show it as often as someone like Eggman would. 

Zavok admires Zazz because he is always just so eager to jump at a chance to fight whenever Zavok wants him to, and Zazz just generally wanting to do anything for him. A RIDE OR DIE...LITERALLY. I think Zazz being so eager to please him DEFINITELY strokes that ego in him, even if he’s not aware. Like getting blind loyalty and determination from Zazz compared to the other Deadly’s Six general lack of interest definitely allows Zavok to take more notice in Zazz. And it's probably what would attract him the most to Zazz and why he keeps going back to him. Zazz has Zavok’s respect, and it’s so mutual it hurts. Not only that, but Zazz is the most intense zeti out of all of them in terms of ferality, wrecking violence, and havoc. It is stated that even by zeti standards, Zazz is “the meanest and most psychopathic of his entire race”,[3][6]  And Zavok is someone who revels in destruction and savagery, admiring it in general even when it isn’t from himself. So, to have the most destructive and violent of the zeti at his complete command? Zazz lives to destroy, and he’s basically Zavok’s attack dog. What wouldn’t he love about that.  I also think that Zavok finds Zazz entirely endearing, and trusts him the most out of the rest of the Deadly Six. Zavok could be rough with him if he wanted to, and he knows that Zazz would be able to handle it no problem, given their size and strength differences. And you know Zazz would love any bit of attention Zavok shows towards him.  Now, I’m starting to get into headcanon territory so I’ll end this thread here. I think I covered everything. And if not, guess I’ll have to make a part two. I didn’t even get into the comics, so we’ll see what happens. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS ALL IF YOU MADE IT THIS FAR, it makes me incredibly happy that ya’ll have shown interest in this sleeper of an OTP. Now go enjoy some Zavazz! 

[jungshookz]

beauty & the bookworm {librarian!namjoon}

→ pairing: kim namjoon x reader

→ genre: librarian!namjoon who’s a little nerdy a little dorky but we loVe it, university!au, y/n’s the brat this time around, fluff softer than clouds, a bit of heartwrenching angst :’(, BTS as in BIG TIME smU T

→ wordcount: 20.8k this will definitely make the app crash as per usual don’t come for me

→ note: okay first and foremost i apologize because this is wAY overdue! i started writing librarian!joon in october but i kept putting him off and it’s not what he deserves :-(( but the most important thing is that he’s here now and he’s ready to trip his way into your hearts!! also i finally gave one of my fics a title instead of just naming the au so we’re spicing things up for the new year! enjoy!! 

pst if u wanna talk to y/n or joonie or even jimin u know what to do ;-)

(gif isn’t mine!)

(((and the read more function iS there but most of the time it doesn’t work on mobile :// i am sorry don’t attack me by sending passive-aggressive anon messages)))

you’ve always been the type of person to just go with the flow

whenever life throws an obstacle your way you somehow always aLways make it out alive

you always have a backup plan and you never worry about anything

because worrying gives you frowning wrinkles and you want your skin to remain smooth and beautiful

maybe it’s maybelline??? maybe it’s just not giving a fuCk

but this is the first time you’ve ever been… slightly concerned

you are in unfamiliar territory because you feel

…worried

and you don’t like this feeling at all

“i don’t know what to tell you, y/n. you’re failing three of your courses. you need extra credit.” your counsellor looks at you and then looks back down at his laptop where he has your transcript opened up

“okay! okay okay cool cool cool that’s fine” you clear your throat and nod quickly “extra credit is fine. no need to worry.”

“well, i wouldn’t say no need to worry. there’s definitely room for worry here.”

you thought you had the hang of this university thing but apparently not since jin just told you you’re failing three of your damn courses

kim seokjin - he graduated like two years ago and is your academic counsellor

he’s a pretty cool guy most of the time!! sometimes his dad jokes makes you want to slam your face into a wall but other than that he’s cool

and he’s always there to help you whenever you feel like you’re struggling

he’s a good counsellor but right now he’s being an awful counsellor and not even offering you an ouNCe of support

just kidding you’re just mad at yourself and you’re taking it out on literally anyone you see  

you lean forward a little to try and get a sneak peek of your transcript and jin shifts his laptop away

you huff and lean back against the plushy sofa chair “so… how am i supposed to get extra credit?” you inspect your nails uninterestedly because you’re supposed to be napping right now but obviouSly you’re not going to be able to catch some extra z’s today because of this stupid meeting about your stupid grades

“summer school is an option.”

just the thought of summer school makes you feel nauseous

you’re not going to spend two months writing a philosophy paper or studying for an exam when you could be on a beach somewhere or on a road trip with jimin and the others

thank u next bitch

“please tell me there’s something else. anything else??” you frown and slump against his desk and he lets out a sigh before rifling through some loose papers on his desk

“which prof do i have to go down on to get extra credit” you joke but the smile drops from your face when jin raises a disapproving brow at you  

“if you’re lucky, maybe you can find a part-time job on campus. usually you can get extra credit from doing things here! last i heard there was a position to be the school mascot!”

omg

yuck

having to jump around in a slightly damp and sewage-scented costume for two hours??

no thanks

jin can tell by your expression that that’s the last thing you want

“i hate to break it to you, y/n, but you can’t exactly be picky here. go to main hall where they stick up all those posters and job offers - maybe you’ll find something good! cheer up, hm?”

“yeah, yeah” you murmur and scratch the back of your head before standing up and swinging your bag over your shoulder

“oh, and y/n?”

“what?”

“maybe you should study instead of watching netflix all the time - you really have to boost your grades this term otherwise… y’know” he winces

‘y’know’ means you’re not going to frickin graduate

“…bye jin” you mutter and shut the door behind you before letting out a breath

well

that was a depressing conversation

jin didn’t even tell you a dad joke this time around

as you make your way to the main hall you can’t help but let out another sigh of disappointment

in high school you had eeeehhhhh average grades like you were kinda dumb but not thAt dumb

but you never expected yourself to faiL classes

you thought you were smarter than this!!! obviously not tho

you let out a huff as you stand in front of the bulletin board

there’s an overwhelming number of posters ranging from poetry sLAM competitions to math tutoring services and you don’t know where the heck to start

okay let’s see

what can we do

‘do you have school spirit? do you need extra credit? why not try being our adorable school masco-‘

“nope” you click your tongue and immediately look at the next poster

‘looking for a philosophy tutor for philosophy102’

philosophy is one of the classes you’re failing so maybe not that one either

‘looking for water girl/water boy for new school year! email coach bang for more details’

good god

the water girl??

that would be pathetic

that min yoongi tho

wOO you are definitely thirsty for him

but not thirsty enOugh because there’s no way you’re going to be known as the dang water girl

‘ocean expedition next summer? come to seashell city and explore the ancient legend of the mermaid… extra credit included!’

now thAt sounds cool

but next summer??? you’re not planning to still be here neXt summer

you’re running out of options here

the ones that you’ve seen just don’t sit well with you

the ones that seem okay are already all booked up

you raise a brow when you find a smaller note pinned under an obnoxiously neon pink ‘JOIN THE CHEERLEADING SQUAD’ poster

oh cute

it’s a picture of a book

‘booking for extra credit? there’s no one to blame but your-shelf if you let this job opportunity slip away! come to the library and check it out!’

you cringe in your soul and shake your head

a 60 year old grandpa definitely wrote this up

you take the note off the bulletin board and re-read it

urhghUAhfasj

are u really going 2 do this

you really gon spend most of your time at the library instead of, oh, i don’t know, literally anYTHING ELSE

“beggars can’t be choosers” you mumble to yourself

plus this option doesn’t seem like it needs a lot of skill so it should be easy-peasy lemon-squeezy

the extra credit will just fall right onto your lap                                  

but at the same time

you despise the library

it’s too quiet

you can’t eat or drink in there

it always smells like musty old books

everyone’s always hogging the charging ports

you can’t talk without someone giving you a dirty look because apParently you’re being too loud when you wereN’T EVEN being that loud

your stomach always rumbles in the library and you end up not studying because you’re too focused on wondering what you should get for dinner

the last time you were at the library you were only there because jimin wanted to get some studying done and he needed a study partner

but that was literally like last year

now if he wants a study partner you tell him ‘it’s mY way or the highway’ which means you force him to study at your dinky apartment

you purse your lips and read the note yet aGAin

it seems like this is the option that makes you want to rip your fingernails off the least

so

it’s the library i guess

*confetti*

“what’s the matter with you?” jimin pokes your cheek with his fork before digging into his spaghetti

you scowl and rub the dot of tomato sauce off your cheek

“i’m failing three of my classes” you mutter before slumping against the table “and now i have to work at the library everyday to get extra credit”

jimin shrugs

“at least you’re not failing all of your classes?”

“i’m taking four courses this semester. i’m failing three out of four classes.”

jimin pauses and purses his pillowy lips

“like i said…at least you’re not failing four out of four classes?” he offers through a mouthful of pasta

he swallows “plus the library isn’t all that bad! books are… books are like… cool”

“you’re not doing a very good job of making me feel better”

“well, i don’t wanna be that friend - but you kinda did this to yourself!!!! working at the library is a consequence of not doing well in class, y/n. i’m sorry to break it to you, but you gotta do what you gotta do. you’re not allowed to complain because you let this happen to yourself.” jimin sighs frustratedly because as much as he loves you it’s so iRRitating when you’re whining about problems that could’ve very easily been avoided

“ya i guess so” you mutter

yeah

it’ll be fine

becoming a librarian will be great

maybe you’ll absorb the information from all the books that you’ll be hanging around with all day and become smart enough to graduate and not need the extra credit

jimin jumps when you let out a groan and smack your head against the table in defeat

life is really kicking your ass right now and is showing absolutely no mercy

“you want me to go in with you and drop you off at the counter?” jimin smiles sweetly and you shake your head and slip your arm from his

“this is a battle i’m going to have to face alone.” you shake a fist in front of you

“go on, my brave warrior.” jimin says dramatically before nodding “i’ll see you tomorrow!”

you let out a sigh before pushing the doors open and letting yourself in

you see a couple people sitting here studying

it is exam season after all

speaking of exam season u should probably start studying

you don’t remember the last time you were at the library

you came in once because you needed to pee really bad and this was where the nearest washroom was

also why is it so biG

there’s nobody at the front counter so you assume the guy went to the back because there’s like another room behind the desk

you whistle a tune to yourself as you lean against the counter and scroll through your phone

you’re blissfully unaware of the many people who are glaring at you because of your awful whistling

it’s when you get a (very rude) ’shh!’ that you raise a hand in defence and stop the whistling

it’s too quiET in here the whistling was necessary

these ungrateful assholes should be thankful

“hi there! can i help you with something?” you jump ten feet into the air from the voice that breaks the silence

you turn around and there’s this this tall ass tree of a guy standing behind the counter

he smiles at you and you immediately notice his sweet smile and cute dimples

he tilts his head before reaching up to adjust his glasses

“um, i…” he looks down and his eyes light up when he sees his poster in your hand

“oh, y/n! i didn’t know you were interested in working at the library” huh

he knows your name?

how does he know you

…do you know him?

well you have to know him otherwise how does he know your name

he pushes his glasses up and waits for you to respond

you decide to play along with it for the sake of a good first impression

or..,.,. good second impression??

you’re tempted to tell him you’re only doing this because you have no choice and also you’re failing your classes but he probably doesn’t want to hear all of that

“yeah! a little extra credit never hurts” you laugh and scratch the back of your neck “it’s nice to see you… again…?” you trail off because obviously you have no idea what his name is

you’re still confused as to how he knows your name

he kind of blinks at you and his eyebrows knit together in confusion before he’s like oOh okay i see what’s happening here

“i, uh, i’m namjoon, ha. i’m actually- we were in the same philosophy lecture last year. you… you bumped into me on the first day of class and spilt your coffee all over me.” namjoon chuckles awkwardly and scratches the back of his neck

oh yiKES

your cheeks flame up immediately and you press your lips together

good first impression!!!!1!1!

“oh! oh, right! yeah, of course i remember you, joonie!” the nickname slips out to try and soothe the awkward situation but you don’t think it’s working that well “i’m sorry about that, by the way. you know how klutzy i am” you clear your throat

namjoon chuckles awkwardly and scratches the back of his head

and then u remember an important detail

you raise a brow

“wait but like didn’t you graduate last year? you’re older than me aren’t you?”

“yes, i graduated last year. and yes, I’m older than you”

“….so why r u still here”

“i like it here! it’s as simple as that” namjoon shrugs and you hum in response

personally speaking

once you graduate (if u even graduate lol roasted) there is no turning back

you don’t want to come back here

you wasted four years in this torturous hell why would you willingly come back

but now that he reminded you that you two were in the same philosophy lecture it’s kind of coming back to you

you’ve seen his face like once or twice

he always sat in the front and always raised his hands to answer questions or remind the professor of assignments and oHhH right kim naMjOon

sometimes you and kook poke fun at him because like he’s genuinely suCh a n3rd and a dork aNd a try hard anD he always corrected people over the most minuscule mistakes and he’s a neat freak and wow you are suddenly realising you’re not a huge fan of namjoon

“please, i prefer namjoon.” namjoon clears his throat before setting the pile of books down on the counter “so… you wanna start working here? become the ~junior librarian~?” he sticks his hands out and does some jazz hands and you resist the urge to roll your eyes because woW that was lame

“yep, i need the extra credit” you shrug and lean against the counter

“why do you need extra credit?”

“i don’t think that’s any of your business, namjoon.” you tilt your head and namjoon’s like alright fair enough

“look. it’s pretty obvious you need some help around here.” you gesture to the cart stacked with like a trillion books sitting by the desk “and no one else has applied to help out according to your sad poster- i’m pretty much your only option, bro” you shrug as if to say ‘it’s not my fault’

okay

namjoon definitely doesn’t appreciate the tone and the attitude that you’re giving him

but you’re not wrong

surprisingly not a lot of people have come up to him wanting the job as the junior librarian

it’s kind of disappointing

being a librarian is so much fun!!!!!!

who wouldn’t want to be surrounded by books all day????

and no offence

but he doesn’t really want to give you this job because you’re just so,,., snooty and kinda rude

and you seem like you don’t care about anything

aNd you seem kinda disorganised

he’s just getting that ~vibe~ from you

but he doesn’t have a choice because he does really need the help and you need the extra credit so it works out for both of u

and he’s mature enough to work well with someone he doesn’t like so he’s sure he’ll be fine

namjoon purses his lips and exhales

“fine… i suppose i can let you work alongside me. but just to let you, i have a system for everything, so i would really appreciate if you followed the rules that i set in place and-“ you keep staring at him but you’ve drowned him out and you’re just singing a song in your head

“do you understand?” he finishes and adjusts his glasses before giving you a pointed look  

“ya man i gotcha” you click your tongue before pushing yourself off the counter and clapping your hands together “so chief where do i start” you take your backpack off and swiNG it over the counter and it fLOps to the ground loudly

namjoon’s eye twitches when your books spill out of your bag and you don’t bother picking it up

okay

what’s a job that’ll take a while and will require you to be awaY from him

ah

namjoon disappears behind the counter for a split second before reappearing with a duster and a rag

“those shelves over there need to be dusted.”

you raise your brows in disbelief

dusting

is that it

wow

easy frickin peASY ladies and gents

“at least try and make it hard for me.” you snort and snatch the duster and rag from him

extra credit - here we come! goodbye suMMER scHOOL

“see, i told you it wasn’t going to be bad!” jimin points out after you finish fleXing to him about how good of a dust job you did on those bookshelves

weird flex but ok lol

“i know!! i don’t actually mind the library, now that i think about it. the dead silence is kinda relaxing. but-“ you raise a finger “i’m not sure about that namjoon guy”

“namjoon?”

“he’s the librarian. he graduated last year and- god, he’s just… he’s such a nerd. which isn’t a bad thing, i guess? you know what i’m saying, right? he’s just,,,, i don’t know… he seems like the kinda guy who’d get a heart attack from breaking a tinY rule or something,, or i feel like if i drop a book he’ll start crying like he’s thAt kind of person”

jimin nods understandably before shrugging “i get it… but i’m sure if you give him a chance you’ll warm up and you’ll get along!! even if you don’t get along just keep it mind that you’re only doing this for a couple of months.”

“yeah, i guess.”

jimin’s usually right so you’ll take his word for it

maybe namjoon isn’t as much of a stick in the mud as you think he is

you’ll be fine

remember how in the beginning of all of this you were like this is going to be easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy

well

it’s not

it’s not easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy

in fact it’s difficult-difficult-orange-difficult

why are there so many books here???????? it’s never ending!! every time you put one away like ten more appear on the counter and then namjoon’s like mmMm c’mon pick up the pace there’s a lot to do around here

you haven’t even had a chance to sit down for a minute because the library is huGe and you have to walk everywhere to make sure each book is in the right place and no books are overdue and if books aRe overdue to have to go and harass the person that still has the book and the point is THIS IS HARD AND YOU ARE TIRED

no wonder no one wanted this job!!!!!!!!! it’s hard work!!!!!!!!!!

you can’t help but wonder if that water girl job is still available but the thought of having to talk to someone like min yoongi makes you nervous so you shake the thought out of your head

aLSO

namjoon is boring

SO boring

what kind of modern young man willingly wears sweaters and cardigans and button up shirts all the damn time

also?? he keeps candies in his pockets

like he’ll be sorting through some files and then stops and he rifles through his pockets and pulls out a hard candy and pops it into his mouth

they’re those salted caramel hard candies and you’ve been tempted to ask him for one but.,,.,., u don’t want any of his damn pANT candy

also he’s so quiet and you’re very chatty so that’s another thing to add to the list of things you hate about kim namjoon

whenever you try to talk about your day he replies with mm’s and ah’s but never does anything to continue the conversation so you’re left in awkward silence waiting for a reaction

aLSO he has egg salad or tuna or plain turkey sandwiches and like vegetable soup and a piece of fruit (he literally said an apple a day keeps the doctor away one time and you were like what century are you living in???) for lunch most of the time and it sTANKS it’s awful  

and when you try to crack a joke he never gets the punchline which is infuriating because you like to think that you’re somewhat of a funny person

aren’t you??????

all he gives you is a polite laugh and a nod before he goes back to his book

you don’t know how long you can keep doing this

it’s been a month and a bit since you started working at the library

and namjoon would rather give himself a trillion paper cuts than work with you

you

are

awful

“y/n - you’re supposed to stamp the first page in the book - not the coVer of the book.” namjoon presses his lips together to keep himself from screaming when he sees you with a mountain of already wrONGLY stamped books

“oh. can’t you like erase the ink or something?”

“no you can’t- you can’t just erasE the ink the stamp is gonna be there forever”

“it’s okay i only stamped like 20 books” you shrug and instinctively stamp the book in your hands “…21 books”

“y/n whY… why did you use a glittery pink pen for the book record sheets”

“it makes it pretty! it’s not a big deal no one sees these sheets besides you and i” you grin and take the sheet from namjoon and he feels his soul die a little when you scribble something down with a neon green marker

also you keep giving yourself little breaks?? and the only breAK that is allowed on your schedule is your lunch break or the occasional washroom break whenever you need it

but you give yourself these nonexistent breaks

‘granola bar break’ - you take 30 minutes off to eat one single granola bar

‘texting break’ - this one’s worse because it happens more frequently like the two of you will be filing things together and namjoon likes to keep things working like a well-oiled machine but it’s hard to do that when you keep pausing to text someone and then you’re like okay where were we like it ruINS THE FLOW

‘reading break’ - THIS is awful because namjoon will see you study and he’ll be like okay at least she’s doing something educational and he peeks over and you’ve literally got your phone out scrolling through memes on instagram

and when he reprimands you for taking too many breaks you always wave him off and tell him to relax and to not get his panties in a twist

he feels like you’re doing this on purpose

pushing his buttons

getting under his skin in the worst way possible

also you keep calling him random names and he hATES IT he just wants to be called namjoon because that’s his name

“hey joon”

“namjoon”

“good morning joonie”

“namjoon”

“hi joonathan”

“joona- namjoon!”

“whaddup dimples”

“hey bookworm”

“hey nerd”

“what’s up four-eyes”

“yo yo yo dork”

“oi egghead where’d i put my phone”

“it’s namjoon - and feet off the counter” it’s almost automatic at this point when namjoon shoVes your legs off the counter and you nearly fall off your chair from the force

he gives you a warning look when you move to put your feet back up and you huff grumpily

“no messy foods in the library” you gawk when namjoon picks up your takeaway box of spaghetti and proceeds to dump it into the bin

“don’t use the books as coasters” namjoon snatches your drink and picks up the book then wipes the condensation from your drink off the front cover

“no more texting during work hours” your phone disappears from your hands and you blink down at your fingers because that was sO speedy

“oH my god am i even allowed to breathe in here???” you snap exasperatedly because you and jimin were talking about how kook slipped in the cafeteria and got banana milk all over tae’s new shoes and taheyung freAKED it was hilarious

namjoon blinks down at you before opening up a drawer and dropping your phone in there before proceeding to l o c k the drawer

are you KIDDING me

is this bitch for real???? he just locked up your phone???????

“i don’t know. your breathing is kind of loud, so we’ll have to figure out a way around that issue.” and with that he turns his back with a huff but not before turning to face you one last time so he can look you right in the eye as he drops your can of soda into the bin

it’s pretty obvious that you and namjoon most certainly do not like each other but the both of you are just being very passive aggressive and tip-toeing around the elephant in the library

you let out a breath and dig your nails into your palm

deep breaths deep breaths

we’re doing this to graduate

we can do this

aight

no biggie

remember how you promised yourself you’d be more responsible when it came to your work load

obviously you forgot about that promise

because you have a final in a week and a half that you completely forgot about that even frickin jungkook was aware about

and now you have to jam a whole semester’s worth of information into your head and finish that 12 page paper for your history class and work on your presentation for your film class and there’s just so much that you have to do and you don’t have enough time to do everything

you decided to skip your last lecture of the day (you asked tae to take notes for you and he’s usually good at that so you’re not worried) to come to the library and study

and you couldn’t find an empty table or anything so you figured you’d just study at the desk

you’re surprised to see that namjoon isn’t around because he practically lives at the library

okay it’s whatever

he’d probably distract you anyway

you plop yourself down on the chair and proceed to pull out all your notes and books and markers and you dump it all on the table

you crack your knuckles and look down at the mountain in front of you

let’s do this

namjoon hums a tune to himself as he opens the door and enters the library

he’s in an especially good mood today for some reason

the smile falters on his face when he realises that he’s going to be spending the rest of the day with you and that’s definitely going to soil his mood

ugh

you’re usually late because you always come after your classes so he expects that he’ll be in a good mood for about twenty more minutes or so

namjoon pauses when he sees the top of your head poking out from behind the front counter

you’re

on time?

he looks at his watch

no you’re not just on time

you’re… early

you’ve never been early to a shift before

how odd

maybe someone finally lit a fire under your ass and you’re finally being more responsible!!

okay

he’s still in a good mood

he’s about to give you a chirpy greeting (and this time he’s not going to correct you if you address him using another one of your lame nicknames) and then he’s suddenly aware of the scene in front of his eyes

“y/n?” namjoon furrows his brows to see you with your face buried in your arms and you’re surrounded by like teN textbooks and a lot of scrap paper with random notes scribbled on them and a million highlighters and pens “…whatcha up to?”

you don’t respond and he leans over the counter a little more

…are you even alive

suddenly you look up at namjoon

he takes a step back in surprise at the sight of your red and watery eyes and he’s like o shit she crying

“are you okay??” he unlocks the gate and steps behind the front counter to join you

“i don’t know anything, namjoon. i literally don’t know anything and my final is in a week and a half.” you sniffle and reach up to wipe your tears away

“oh god. i’m going to fail this exam and this is totally going to put my life on hold and everyone’s going to graduate before me and i’ll be stuck here because of how stupid i am” you sob and slam a textbook shut and namjoon jumps

he’s never seen you like this before

he’s never seen you so… defeated

usually you’re all smiles and you have a smartass comment ready to go at all times and even when he shuts you down you don’t let that stop you

so for the first time ever

when he sees you with puffy eyes and a trembling bottom lip and a permanent frown on your face

he feels… bad

and you called him namjoon

not joon or dimples or bookworm

namjoon

this is serious

even though you piss him off everyday because of how irritating you are

you don’t deserve to be this sad

namjoon sets his briefcase down before pulling his chair over and sitting down next to you

he looks over at all the textbooks briefly before looking up at you “what are you studying?” he hands you the box of tissues that are on his side of the desk and you thank him quietly before sniffling and wiping the tear that’s trailing down your cheek

“um, philosophy.” you sound kind of nasally from how much crying you’ve done but whatever “right now i’m looking at the main branches of philosophy but i just don’t geT it.”

“okay, well…” namjoon glances at your handwritten notes for a second and all you’ve written down is ‘philosophy notes’ with a bright purple marker

oh god

is he really going to do this

is he really going to help you right now

because he could totally just tell you to put your notes away and do your job

but instead he’s deciding that he’s going to help you study for your finals

even though you’ve been nothing but an obnoxious piece of shIT for the past two months

he’s going to help you whether you like it or not

“let’s start off with differentiating between the branches. typically, there are four branches. sometimes there are five, but for philosophy301 you just focus on four. logic, epistemology, metaphysics, and-“

“what are you doing?” you interrupt namjoon and look at him confusedly

he’s

he’s helping you?

what?

why??

whY?????

“i’m… explaining the four branches of philosophy. at least i’m trying to. what’s wrong?” he tilts his head and blinks twice “oh, you know what, maybe i shouldn’t… because i can’t focus if your study station is a pig sty.” he starts cleaning up your papers and putting your highlighters back into your pencil case

he pauses in the middle of stacking your textbooks to look at you “don’t just stare at me - clean up! and then we’ll get on with it.”

“namjoon, you don’t have to-“

“y/n, i swear to god.” namjoon groans quietly and taps the top of your head with a pen “stop being so stubborn and just be a good girl.”

you raise your hands in defence

you can’t help the little smile that twitches at the corner of your mouth

namjoon’s helping you

…you knew he had a soft spot for u

(little do you know that you have a soft spot for him too)

>:-)

namjoon spends the next two and a half hours explaining many different philosophical concepts to you and he answers every single one of your questions

at one point you get a little shy because you feel like your questions are dumb but namjoon reassures you that your questions are most certainly not dumb

he even paused to tell you a story of how in one of his classes he raised his hand and forgot what he was going to ask by the time the prof got to him so he ended up asking the prof ‘what class is this?’

that made you crack uP because you can imagine namjoon’s flushed cheeks and nervous stammer so clearly

also namjoon shared his lunch with you which was a surprise (today he brought in a turkey sandwich and an apple)

“my favourite sandwich is actually turkey on whole wheat with spicy mustard - and my favourite kind of apple is honey crisp!”

“spicy mustard is too much flavour for me. i just like putting mayo. and i’m a red apple kinda guy.”

“you’re boring” you tease him as you bite into the sandwich

“am not! don’t attack me for liking the plainer things in life!”

even though the ingredients are pretty plain somehow it still works and you find yourself scarfing it down in like thirty seconds

namjoon pulls a hard candy out of his pocket and offers it to you

“you’re giving me one of your precious candies??” you gasp and pluck it so delicately from his fingers as if it were made of glass or something

“it’s only because i feel bad for you because you criEd so don’t expect anymore candies from me” namjoon snorts and bites into an apple slice “also i always see you staring at me whenever i pull out a candy”

“it’s only because i’m wondering if they’re stale or not” you unwrap it and pop it into your mouth quickly before namjoon can take it back

“they most certainly are not!” he gasps in mock offence before reaching up to adjust his glasses

“your glasses are just as dorky as you” you reach over and brush your fingers over the thick rims and namjoon scowls before smacking your hand away

“don’t make me regret helping you and sharing my food with you” he points an accusatory finger in your direction and you grin cheekily “now, c’mon - let’s talk about famous philosophers and then we’ll start making some flash cards!”

“i like flash cards!!! ooh we can use my mArkERs-“ you start rambling excitedly about your multicoloured markers and namjoon finds himself smiling fondly as he watches you rummage through your pencil case

hm

maybe you’re not so bad after all

“yES you got it again! alright who do we have next…” namjoon shuffles through the pile of flashcards on his lap

“okay-“ he pauses to read the notes on the back of the flashcard before holding it up for you “who is saint thomas aquinas?”

“ooh, i know this one!!” you raise your hand even though you’re the onLY One stuDYING

you’re so lame

endearingly lame

:~)

“hm, any takers?” namjoon plays along and pretends to look around a classroom of people before pointing at you “ah! yes, miss y/l/n?”

he’s just as lame as you are

you clear your throat and sit up straighter

“saint thomas aquinas was a 13th century dominican friar, theologian and doctor of the church, born in what is known today as the lazio region of italy.”

“okay, and what did he do?”

“uh, his most important contribution to western thought is the concept of natural theology! …right?”

“mm, go on” namjoon leans back against his chair and plucks at his bottom lip as he skims over the notes on the back of the card again

“he… adhered to the platonic and aristotelian principle of realism, which holds that certain absolutes exist in the universe, including the existence of the universe itself…?”

namjoon puts the card down and stares at you and ur like o shit am i wrong

a smile creeps onto his face and he raises his fist for you to bump “you got it!”

“yAY” you give him a fist bump and apologise quietly when you hear someone in the distance go ‘shh!!!!!’

they’ve shushed you like five times in the last hour

whoops

both you and namjoon exchange glances before bursting into giggles

“uGHhgH namJOoON” you groan and slump against the table as you twirl your pencil between your fingers

today’s been a pretty slow day

wednesdays are your longest days because you have classes from 9 to 6

and now you’re at the library and namjoon is forcing you to study even though you’re like hey let’s rearrange books or something!!!! let me do my job!!!!

“no complaining! now sit up straight and listen to me.”

you ignore him and continue twirling your pencil around

“y/n. sit up and listen.” he sighs and raises an eyebrow

you curse to yourself quietly before forcing yourself to sit up but you slump against the chair as if your bones were made of jelly

okay

well

better than nothing

“okay, let me tell you about the gemeinschaft-gesellschaft dichotomy. it was proposed by tönnies as a purely conceptual tool rather than an ideal type in the way it was used by max weber to accentuate the key elements of a historic or social change. got it?”

you give namjoon a pointed look before huffing “no”

namjoon lets out a slow sigh and looks through his notes again

meanwhile you’re spinning around and around on your wheely chair

namjoon’s hand shoots out and grips onto the arm of your chair to stop you “how about we take a break?”

“yEs i love that! now that i understand.” you stretch your limbs out but quickly curl up when your stomach rumbles

huh

you forgot that you didn’t get a chance to eat lunch today

namjoon clears his throat

“i actually,.., um, i brought you some food today!” namjoon turns and grabs the paper bag sitting on his desk

you raise a brow

“you did?”

hm

that’s a surprise

that’s actually really nice of him

“you’ve been working and studying pretty hard lately so i thought i’d treat you to lunch! turkey on whole wheat with spicy mustard.” namjoon clears his throat and hands you the bag before reaching up to scratch the back of his neck “and also a honey crisp apple… and two caramel candies.”

oh

he

he remembered your favourite kind of sandwich and your favourite kind of apple

which means he went out of his way to buy ingredients that he would usually stay the heck away from

that’s… that’s kind of sweet actually

“you remembered what i like?” you reach into the bag and pull out the neatly wrapped sandwich

“the, uh, the dorky glasses make me more observant” namjoon taps the frames gently and you laugh

“look, i didn’t mean- like, dorky isn’t necessarily a bad thing i just- it’s cute! you’re cute” you flush immediately wOw what is wrong with you

you clear your throat “your glasses are cute. your glasses.” you murmur

both you and namjoon avoid gazes and you don’t realise it but both your faces are on fire

namjoon twiddles with his thumbs and bites back his smile  

you’re about to take a bite of your sandwich before you realise he’S not eating anything “hey, where’s your food?”

“oH, right” namjoon twists back and grabs his paper bag

“lemme guess - turkey on white with mayo with a red apple.”

“ah, nice guess, but i’m afraid you’ve been mistaken” namjoon tsks and shakes his head “it’s tuna sandwich tuesday!! and i brought a pear!”

you snort and roll your eyes playfully

only namjoon would have a tuna sandwich tuesday

“i believe that’s another point to me” namjoon leans back against his chair proudly after he makes yet anotHer paper ball dunk into the waste bin

you convinced him to take a lil break since you’ve been studying for an hour and a half and your brain is about to explode

and today you’re the one who brought lunch for him

you bought soup from the cafeteria!! luckily they made his favourite today!! chicken soup

he got so excited when you presented the little take-out bowl to him

he even offered you a spoonful and at first you were like nah but he said look the cafe’s chicken soup is AMAzing you will not regret this

he blew over it to cool it down first before feeding it to you and you were like o shit ur right this is good

he ended up feeding you a couple more spoonfuls as you looked over your notes

it was kinda cute but whateva

so it’s kind of that after-lunch lull where your tummies are full and you’re feeling lazy

which is why you and namjoon are competing in paper-ball

and namjoon is winning which is very surprising

whenever you play paper-ball with jimin you’re always in the lead so you’re not used to thIS

you’re realising now that you might be a bit of a sore loser

“it’s getting hot in here - it must be because i’m on fire.” namjoon smirks as he adds another dash under his name

“lame” you roll your eyes as you crush up another paper ball

“okay but seriously i’m like sweating” namjoon sits up and peels his sweater-vest off before unbuttoning a couple buttons on his shirt and rolling his sleeves up neatly

your eyes flicker over to his now exposed forearms

he has.,.., really sexy arms.,,.. what the hell,.,,

namjoon wheels a little closer to you until his knee is in between your legs “here lemme do it because your paper-balls all sucK” namjoon takes the ball from your hand and you feel a lil ziPzaP when his fingers brush over yours

what the hell x2.,.,.,., his hANDS.,.,.,., even his hANDS ARE SEXY

“what’s the matter with you? where’s the witty retort?” you look up from his hands quickly and namjoon’s grinning at you in a way that makes your heart skip a beat

.,.. EVEN HIS TEETH ARE PERFECT???

omg

what’s happening to you

you look away quickly and try to snap yourself out of it

what the fuck

what the fuck is happening

what’s going on with your body

why are your hands clammy

why is your heart racing like this

why do you want him to scoot evEN closer

you like namjoon

oh no

you like namjoon

oh NO sweetie you do NOT like kim namjoon

yes you do

no you don’t

mmmmmyes you do

NO you don’t you can’t like namjoon!!! he’s the worst!

he’s the best and you love him

he wears stupid sweater vests!!

he can pull it off tho and also his button-up is kind of thin today and you can see very faint outlines of his abs and it makes you want to run your hands over his bronzey smooth skin you LOVe it you perv

“y/n? you okay?” namjoon taps your knee gently and raises a brow when you jumP in your seat  

“i’m good! i’m just…” you snatch the paper ball from his grasp and point to the waste bin “i’m just getting my heaD in the game because i’m going to kick your ass”

namjoon laughs before gesturing for you to throw “i’d like to see you try.” he leans back against his chair and crosses his arms

frick

even THAt was sexy

you are losing your mind

you like kim namjoon

“good morning!” namjoon plops down next to you and you let out a little yawn as a good morning “today’s the big day~” he wiggles his brows “you ready?”

you look down at your flashcards and your notes and give a little shrug

you think you’re ready?? maybe

“i guess so??” you murmur and stretch your limbs out

you decided to come to the library before your 8AM exam because.,,,.., uh.,,,.,

okay you just wanted to see namjoon so WHAT

“i have something for you-“ namjoon rummages through his bag before pulling out a bracelet looking thing

a bunch of different shades of purple threads braided together neatly

she looks a little worn out but she still cute

“this was my good luck bracelet when i was doing exams during my last year - i thought maybe you’d want to wear it or something? you don’t have to, obviously, but i know how nervous you are and… yeah, i don’t know… i just wanted to give it to you i guess“

there it is again

your heart just went boom-boom for joon-joon

you press your lips together to hold back a dorky smile before you stick your hand out for namjoon “i need all the luck i can get”

namjoon smiles and shakes his head as he ties the bracelet around your wrist carefully “you don’t need any luck. i believe in you!” he glances at the clock hanging behind you on the wall “you better get going - it’s 7:42.”

you let out a little sigh before getting up off the seat and grabbing your pencil case and your water bottle

namjoon looks up at you with a small smile “i’ll see you after your exam?” he watches as you open the little gate to step out

“if i survive, that is” you retort and namjoon rolls his eyes

you’re about to walk out but you turn around swiftly “namjoon?”

namjoon looks up at you “mm?”

“thank you… for everything.” you murmur shyly while twisting the bracelet around your wrist “you’re… not bad. not bad at all.”

you don’t really know what to saY but all you know is that you’re super appreciative and grateful to have someone like namjoon,,, care about you

and you’re already not good with emotional things so ‘you’re not bad at all’ is a pretty big thing to say in your opinion!!!

lucky for you

namjoon fully understands

namjoon’s cheeks flush slightly and he shakes his head “get outta here you sappy loser”

he lets out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding once you leave the library

and now that he has this moment alone

a realisation begins to creep into his mind

he likes you

well it’s pretty obvious at this point

things that used to irritate him about you are now endearing

he makes lunch for you willingly

he doesn’t flinch or move away when you initiate contact

he actually pays attention to your lame jokes

he gave you his good luck bracelet for god’s sakes

he likes you

you’ve been on edge for the whole day

this morning you got your philosophy final exam back

for a whole week this exam was on your mind and now it’s finally back in your hands and you can’t even bring yourself to look at your grade

because you’re terrified

you’re terrified that you failed yet another exam and you’ll have to graduate a year behind all of your friends and you’ll have to put your life on hold because you were a dumbass in university

and you’re terrified that you disappointed jin and jimin and namjoon

you don’t want to disappoint namjoon

but your exam has been burning a hole in your backpack and you figure that it’s now or never

“oh pleasepleaseplease” you whisper to yourself as your trembling fingers gently pull the crinkled, folded up piece of paper from your backpack

okay

hoo

okay

no need to panic

it’s just your philosophy final that you had to get at least a 90% on to make up for the rest of your shitty grades in that course

you pinch the corner of the page getting ready to flip it open

you take your bottom lip in between your teeth nervously

you squeeze your eyes shut

it’s now or never

you unfold it in one smooth motion and the paper makes a thwacking sound as you do so

you peel an eye open

you peel the other eye open

and the blood drains from your face

namjoon’s in the middle of putting books back onto the shelves

it’s the end of the day and there aren’t a lot of people around so it’s nice and quiet

namjoon likes these nice and quiet days

it’s just him and the books

him and his library

and then he hears something

frantic footsteps slapping against the floor in the distance

huh

someone must be in a rush

he furrows his brows when the footsteps get louder

and he whips around to look at the entrance of the library with narrowed eyes

…

…

…

bAM

he yelps in fear when the doors suddenly buRST open and a manic-looking you appears with wide eyes and a huGe (slightly terrifying) grin

you look around the library before you lock gazes with namjoon and if it’s even possible your smile grows wider

oh good god

you look like what’d he’d see in the corner of his room if he ever got sleep paralysis

“what-“

“yoU BEAUTIFUL TREE OF A MAN I LOVE YOU” the next thing namjoon knows you’re leaping into his arms and he quickly grips under your thighs instinctively so that you don’t fall flat on your ass

he stumbles backwards a little and his fingers dig into the flesh of your thighs as you smoosh kisses all over his face

he’s certainly not complaining but whAt the hell is going on

you drop back down onto your feet and you unravel your arms around namjoon’s neck and throw your hands up in the air “i goT 98% ON MY EXAM” you squeal excitedly before wrapping your arms around his neck in a hug and bouncing up and down and oHHH now he sees why you’re acting like a psychopath

“see!!!! i told you you could do it i’m sO ProuD of you!!!!!!!” namjoon grins and wraps his arms around your waist and twirls you around in a circle “98% is so good!!!!!”

“i know!! i never get a 98% on anything!!!” you giggle and pull away from the crook of his neck

your arms are still wrapped around his neck and his arms are still wrapped around your waist

your breathing slows down a bit as you start to calm down and

oh

your faces are very very close

and suddenly

you feel this overwhelming urge to kiss namjoon

you want him to kiss you

namjoon’s eyes flicker down to your lips and you feel your heart pounding in your chest

it’s going to happen

he’s going to kiss you  

you’re disappointed when he quickly takes a step back and pulls away from you

you clear your throat and smooth your skirt down and namjoon adjusts his wonky glasses

both of your guys’ faces are on fire

“anyways - 98% is really good! aim for 99% next time.” namjoon teases and turns around to look at his book cart again and the moment he turns away from u he mouths a ‘wHAT THE FUCK’ to himself because WHAT THE FUCK

meanwhile your face is on fire because that was deFINTEly something

you guys had a moment

does this mean namjoon likes you back

omg

doES IT?????

“joon” you approach him and tap his shoulder gently before standing next to him

“mhm?” he glances at you briefly before looking back at the books on the cart

you get up on your tiptoes and plant a little smooch on his cheek and namjoon freezes immediately

“is there anything for me to do?” you ask casually as if you didn’t just kiSS HIS CHEEK

“u-uh-“

“oh shoot you know what i was organising the thriller novels before my exam and i never finished doing that! let me go do that now and then you can give me something else to do” you disappear in between the shelves and namjoon blinks owlishly

he reaches up and brushes his fingers over his hot cheek

and the FATTEST smile appears on his face

today’s been kind of a slow day

namjoon texted you earlier and said he’d be in late today

so here you are

sitting behind the front counter

alone

well, not exactly

lisa, wendy and jisoo came to keep you company even though you insisted you were fine

they texted and asked if you wanted to grab some lunch and when you didn’t respond they all came to ambush you at the library

“yeah, sure! as soon as namjoon gets here we can go get some food.” you smile politely before looking back down at the computer

these girls,,, well they’re not your frieNds exactly

they’re in a couple of your classes

let’s just say they’re a whole lot more popular than you think you’ll ever be

they’ve taken a liking to you for some reason and you don’t mind because the more the merrier!! also it’s kinda cool because in high school you were never really friends with the ‘’’’’cool gals’’’’’’ so there’s that too

also you think another reason why they hang around you is because you’re friends with guys like jimin and jungkook and you don’t want to be that person but like..,,. YEaH ur boy-friends are really attractive so it makes sense to go through you to get to them (spoiler alert jimin and jungkook do not like any single one of these girls but you don’t have the heart to break the news to them)

“namjoon… why does that name sound so familiar” lisa furrows her brows and leans against the counter

“remember? he was that guy in our philosophy lecture last year - the one who sat at the front? he graduated last year” you hum and scribble something down

“oh shit, i remember!!!” lisa gasps “…oh god, he was awful. such a try-hard”

wait what

your head pops up and you furrow your brows “well like he’s not a try-hard he’s just passionate about-“

“i hated him. he kept reminding the prof to give us pop quizzes” wendy shudders

“i bet he’s still a virgin”

“who cares if he-“

“i bet he hasn’t had his first kiss yet”

“we can’t just assume that he hasn’t just because he-“

“yeah, i wouldn’t be surprised” jisoo snorts “who the hell would wanna kiss someone who looks like that?”

what the hell

what kind of assholey thing was that to say??

“…what?”

“oh, c’mon, y/n. the sweater vests. the pervert glasses.”

“he’s tall and gangly. no meat on his bones??”

“i could never even imagine dating a loser like that!”

and suddenly you remember why you don’t like these girls

namjoon is in a very vEry good mood today

and now he gets to spend the rest of the day with you so he’s teN times happier!!!!!!!

plus he brought lunch for you again because he knows that sometimes you neglect your stomach and he can’t have that (and as cute as your stomach rumbles are he wants to make sure you’re eating and not skipping lunch just because you’re too lazy to line up)

he hopes you like the sandwich

he cut it into the shape of a heart just because he thought it was kinda cute

and uh

the heart-sandwich kind of emphasises the fact that he likes you a lot

ALSO

he picked out a bunch of little daisies from the ground on his way here

and he tied them together in a little bouquet using a blade of grass

very rustic looking bouquet but still adorable!!

he looked like a madman yanKIng all the daisies out of the ground but u know what he’s embracing it because he’s a fool in LOVe

he accidentally stepped on a couple daisies and was like yikes

and he has a couple specks of dirt on his shirt but he’ll deal with it later

anyways

today’s the day he’s going to tell you that he likes you ~romantically~ and he’s going to ask if you wanna grab dinner after you guys leave the library tonight

he even made reservations at this cute cafe he hopes you’ll like

and he’s dressed extra spiffy today

his hair is swept back neatly and he even used a lil more gel to keep every strand in place

there’s not one speck of dust on his glasses lens

he ironed his tie and his button-up

and he’s wearing a brand new expensive cologne

all for you!!!!!! because you are woRth it

his heart skips a bit at the mere thought of your smile and that adorable giggle and the way your nose crinkles when he scolds you playfully

frick he likes u sO MCUH

he decides to take the back door today

just because the romance books are on the shelves in the back and he’s in a romantic mood and wants to pick out a book for you to read

he’s thinking Jane Austen’s ‘Persuasion’ is a good one

namjoon’s finger brushes over the spines of the books on the shelves as he looks for it

he perks up when he finds it

perfect!!!!!!!

he tucks the book under his arm and adjusts his book bag on his shoulder and triple checks that he has everything

sandwich? check

new book?? got it

flowers???? yEs

say it with me now: hoTEL?trivAGo

he hears the murmuring of some voices as he nears the front and he freezes when he hears his name float through the air

hm?

he pokes his head out from around the corner and sees you and a couple of who he can safely assume are your girl friends because they’re all giggling about something

namjoon furrows his brows and stays hidden behind a bookshelf

a little eavesdropping never hurts nobody

“you would never go out with someone like namjoon, right? i know i wouldn’t” lisa taps the top of your head to get your attention “not even if we were the last people on earth”

“yeah, i don’t think i would either” you reply automatically because if you said yEs i’d go for namjoon (and u totally would) you’d never hear the end of it

((but at the same time who cares about what these girls think?? they’re not ur real friends))

you don’t want to go out with them anymore

as soon as this conversation ends you’re kicking these assholes the heck out of the library

but you can’t kick them out without saying something nice about namjoon because ?? namjoon is one of the sweetest guys ever and they need to be aware of that

“but without him i wouldn’t have passed my exam so i have to give him some credit for that” you point out and hope that they’ll cut him some slack

wendy leans against the counter and gasps

“oh, i love that, you cold-hearted bitch!!! taking advantage of the smarty-pants virginey loser to pass your exams?? geniuS”

okay

that didn’t exactly work out

“you would never go out with someone like namjoon, right? i know i wouldn’t”

“yeah, i don’t think i would either”

…

…

…what?

namjoon deflates and he feels his heart clench in his chest

his fingers tighten around the paper bag and he takes a small step back

frick

he knew this day was going too well

you…

you really wouldn’t want to go out with him?

you wouldn’t even give him one chance?

was he really that awful?

“but without him i wouldn’t have passed my exam so i have to give him some credit for that”

“oh, i love that, you cold-hearted bitch!!! taking advantage of the smarty-pants, virginey loser to pass your exams?? geniuS”

namjoon’s eyes flutter shut and he presses his lips together

of course

of coursE this would happen to him

you were the one person that he thought might’ve actually like him back and it turns out you were only using him to pass your exams

how could he not have seen that????

you???? being interested in him?????

i m p o s s i b l e

you don’t go for dorky librarians like him

you go for guys like min yoongi and jeon jungkook and park jimin

well now he just feels stupid

he has a stupid heart shaped sandwich and a stupid honey crisp apple and a stupid packet of animal crackers in this stupid paper bag that has your name on it because he has a stupid crush on you and he really thought you liked him back and he was looking forward to taking you out on a stupid stUPID date

but of course the inevitable happens

you don’t like him… at all.

you used him?

your fingers tighten around the pen and you bite down on your tongue

these girls are getting on your nerves now

whatever

you’re kicking them out now you’re done with this  

“anyways - as much as i wanna talk about how much of a loser kim namjoon is,” you say sarcastically and make air quotes “i think i have some work to do so i’m going to have to put a rain check on-“

you jump when you hear the sound of some books toppling off the shelf and everyone immediately looks at the source of the sound

you stand up and peek over the girls’ shoulders

and the blood immediately drains from your face

“n-namjoon?”

oh,,,., god

oh no no nO

did he hear everything you said??

namjoon doesn’t think it��s possible for his heart to break even more

but then

“anyways - as much as i wanna talk about how much of a loser kim namjoon is, i think i have some work to do so i’m going to have to put…”

ouch

okay

big yikes

this did not go according to plan at all

maybe he should head out the back door and then come in through the front door and just act like everything is normal

yes

that’s a good plan

namjoon turns around to leave but he stumbles over his feet a little and his hands reach out to grip onto the bookshelf  

instead what happens is he shoves a couple books riGHt off the shelf and namjoon curses before automatically dropping to his knees to pick them up

“n-namjoon?”

oh shit

where does he go from hERE

namjoon freezes like a deer in headlights and he swallows thickly before slowly turning to look up at you “u-uh, i-i-“

“hey, look what the cat dragged in!” wendy coos and namjoon feels his heart starting to race in his chest when the girls approach him “what do we have here, hm?”

before he has the chance to pick up the paper bag jisoo snAtches it from the ground

“oh, y/n! it’s for you!” she unrolls the top and reaches it before pulling out the sandwich

she coos before pushing her bottom lip out in a mocking pout “aw, isn’t that cute? a wittle heart shaped sandwich for y/n!” her eyes flicker down to the bouquet of daisies that have now been tramPled on “and a bouquet of weeds!! ever the romantic, aren’t you??”

namjoon feels his entire face flush bright red and he’s struggling to put the books back onto the shelf

he’s just doing whatever it takes to avoid eye contact with the girls

“you’re looking a little red, namjoon. maybe you should take that cardigan off?” wendy pinches his cheek and namjoon gets off his knees immediately

although he towers over them he knows they’re the ones holding the power in this moment

“what’s the matter? you’re not even going to say hi to y/n??” lisa frowns before gesturing to you

namjoon locks gazes with you and your heart clenches when you’re able to see the pure hurt and pain in his glassy eyes

he looks away from you immediately and bends down to grab his bag

“nam-“ the next thing you know he spRints towards the front door and leaves

all three girls burst into laughter and jisoo tosses the paper bag and the flowers onto the front counter and it lands right in front of you

your heart tightens at the sight of your name scribbled on it with a little heart drawn next to it

you pick up the bouquet of daises and they flop down against your fingers sadly

“…you guys are assholes” you hiss and start packing up your things

“what? y/n, what’s wr-“

“all of you - get out!” you snap and point towards the door as you zip your backpack up frantically

the girls all exchange glances before scoffing and leaving the library

good fucking riddance

you basically leAp over the gate and sprint towards the front door

you’re not technically supposed to leave the library because no one’s at the front desk but you need to find namjoon

jesus

you should’ve said something!!! you should’ve stuck up for joon!!!! why didn’t you???

why didn’t you stick up namjoon who always makes sure you’re drinking enough water and eating enough food and not skipping meals and who always offers to get you a snack whenever he goes to the cafe and is always very patient with you when he’s teaching you something new and is always giving you new books to read

namjoon with his boisterous laugh when you or that shy giggle he does where he covers his mouth and his eyes crinkle

namjoon who makes you feel happy and safe and warm and smart and all the good things in the world

namjoon who makes your heart go boom-boom because of how sweet and caring and wonderful he is

namjoon who has two left feet and has officially tripped his way into your heart

you look like a maniac because you’re sprinting everywhere to try and find namjoon but you seriously don’t know where he is

you’re out of breath and your bag is flopping against your back anD you’re holding onto the daises and the paper bag for dear life

you spend an hour trying to find namjoon

but he’s nowhere to be found

you end up back at the library and you let out a sigh as you shut the gate behind you

it’s the end of the day so there’s nobody around really

the sun is beginning to set

you groan and slam your head against the desk in frustration

you

are

an idiot

congratulations, y/n y/l/n - you fucked up.

“thank you” namjoon smiles at the waitress before sitting up a little straighter and reaching out for the sandwich on his plate

he takes a small bite and his eyes flicker to across the booth where you should be

suddenly he’s not feeling very hungry anymore

he swallows his bite and pushes the plate away before slumping against the booth and looking out the window of the cafe

he curses to himself when he feels a lump growing in his throat

he feels dumb crying over you

he should’ve known you would never go for someone like him

he sniffles and reaches up to dab away the single tear that’s threatening to spill over

namjoon doesn’t come to work the next day

instead you’re met with the sight of some random guy sitting behind the counter

his name is hoseok and he’s all smiles and you’re sure he’s a nice guy but he’s really getting on your nerves right now

and he has the audacity to ask you if you need help with anything

he’s sitting in namjoon’s chair!!!!!!

“sorry- where’s namjoon?” you interrupt his little rant about his day and he blinks at you

“hm? oh! uh, not sure… would you like me to try contacting him for you? if you have a question about how things work around here you can always ask me! i used to work at the library but they told me i talked too much buT here i am again because-”

oh my god this guy is infuriating

namjoon doesn’t come to work the next day

or the next

or the next

or the next

you’re starting to get worried

you’ve texted him - no response

you’ve called him - no response

you talked to jin and jin told you that you actually have enough extra credit now!! so you’ve been relieved of your librarian duties buT since namjoon isn’t there you can fill in for him til he comes back

“i thought i was supposed to continue working there til the end of the semester? and after the semester ends i’ll get the extra credit?”

“yeah, i thought so too - but i guess you’ve done such a good job that namjoon’s given you extra exTra credit!! good job!!!” jin grins and claps his hands together “goodbye summer school!!!!!! now, listen, let’s not fail our courses so that i don’t have to have this discussion with you again, how about we…”

o god

namjoon doesn’t want you around anymore thAt’s why he gave you the all extra credit immediately

you slump against the seat as jin continues to blab about a study plan for you

what are you doing to do now?

two weeks pass by and you’ve gone to the library every single day in hopes that namjoon will be there

instead you’re met with hoseok’s smiling face

side note: you’ve warmed up to him he’s actually really sweet

but you just

you miss your joonie

so when you walk into the library after a particularly tiring day and see namjoon sitting at the desk instead of hoseok

you’re understandably a little shook

“namjoon?? where have you been????” you gasp and shut the gate behind you “i-i’ve texted and i tried calling you but you-“

“i just needed a break.” namjoon shrugs

there’s an awkward silence between the two of you and you pluck at a loose thread on your sweater

okay

you need to say something

you had something planned out but for some reason you can’t remember what you were going to say

how about you start off with sorry

okay

that’s a good plan

start off with sorry

easy peasy lemon squeezy

you clear your throat and sit down in your chair before scooting closer to namjoon

he doesn’t budge

that’s a good sign.,., right

“hey, uh, look - i’m sorry-“

“it’s fine.” namjoon replies softly and flips to the next page in his book

it’s obviously not

he can’t even look you in the eye

“namjoon, i-“

“i think you should go. people who aren’t librarians aren’t supposed to be behind the desk.” namjoon snaps his book shut before getting up off his seat and walking over to the gate

he holds it open for you

okay

you deserve that

“i just wanted to say that i’m sorry-“

“yeah, i got it. is there anything else i can help you with?”

god

u feel awful

you pluck at the purple bracelet around your wrist nervously

“please, just give me a second to explain-“

“you’ve done plenty of explaining. i get it. i’m not good enough for little miss y/n y/l/n.” namjoon scoffs “message received loud and clear.”

“no, that’s not tru-“

“now if you’ll excuse me, i have some students waiting who actually need help.” namjoon gestures to the line of students before pointing at the gate

you swallow the lump in your throat and you stand up and grab your bag

difficult difficult orange difficult

namjoon feels a twinge of guilt nibbling away at his conscience

it’s been about

five days? since he last saw you

five days since you tried apologising and he didn’t even give you a second to explain yourself which honestly wasn’t fair of him

and he wants to talk to you and stuff but,..,., like.,. he’s never experienced anything like this before and he doesn’t know what to do

are the two of you just going to avoid each other for the rest of your time here

the only time you interact will be when you check out a book at the library which very rarELy happens

he can’t help but wonder when he’ll see you again

the next time he sees you he’s definitely going to say something

and it seems like someone up there is either on his side or really hates him

because there you are

behind the counter

but he hasn’t had a chance to prepare for this situation and whAT IS HE GOING TO SAY TO U

it’s then that he notices that something is off

“y/n? what are you doing here? you don’t work here anymore and… it’s saturday.”

namjoon jumps when you whIP around clutching a bunch of books to your chest

“i put all the returned books away. i stamped all the new books on the first page and not the front cover-“

namjoon can barely pay attention to what you’re saying because you look

well

you looking a little rough girl

there are bags under your bloodshot eyes

your hair is pulled up into a messy bun

there’s a pen stuck through the bun

your reading glasses are tangled in your hair

“i also put the new books into the cataloguing system so you don’t have to spend this weekend doing that anymore!! you can go home and rest if you want!! i-i can take care of it!!”

“how long have you been h-“  

“i’ve restrung all the old books that are falling apart! i-i vacuumed behind the desk and i dusted the bookshelves too-“ you gesture wildly to the bookshelves

“y/n - jesus, you look like you’re about to pass out i think you should rest” namjoon rushes behind the counter and grabs onto your shoulders to steady you because you’re starting to sway a little bit

even though he’s still hurt by what happened he’s not going to prioritise thAt before you especially since you don’t look so good right now

also now that a good amount of time has passed he’s slowly starting to get over it

if you don’t like him like that then you don’t like him like that

there’s nothing he can do about it

he just has to accept it

“no namjoon listen to me look i even restocked on those black pens you like so much and i didn’t use my glittery pink pens when i labelled the books!” you sniffle and look up at him with watery eyes before gesturing to the cup of pens

“yes, i see that-“

“i just need you to know how sorry i am, okay?”

“yes, and i’ve forgiven you-“

“no, you haven’t! you haven’t forgiven me and i can see why! if i were in your shoes i wouldn’t forgive me! i’m just an asshole and there’s literally no excuse in the world to defend what i said about you and i feel awful and i’d understand if you never wanna see me again because i would never wanna see me again-“

“-y/n-“

“but you’re literally the sweetest guy i’ve ever met and i like you so sO much and you didn’t have to help me study for my finals and you didn’t have to give me extra credit-“

“-y/n-“

“and you need to know that i don’t think all those awful things about you i was just being stuPId because those girls make me act stupid and i don’t know i should’ve defended you but i didn’t but i reaLLy wanted to but i-i just froze and i didn’t know what to do and aLSO i’m not letting you give me extra credit because i’m smart enough to know that i have to finish working for a full semester before you administer extra credit-

“oH my god will u just shUT UP”

in a raRe act of spontaneity namjoon grabs your cheeks and bends down and plants his lips right against yours

and as cheesy as it seems

f i r e w o r k s

your eyes flutter shut and you fist namjoon’s shirt in your hands as you kiss him back

and then namjoon realizes the the fact he’s kissing you

he’s kissing you

he pulls away quickly and steps back and you immediately miss his warmth but also

he just kissed you

did that really happen??

or are you overtired and you just dreamt that whole thing up??

“wha…”

“i forgive you, alright? and… you can come back and work here for your extra credit.” namjoon clears his throat and scratches the back of his neck “now go and take a nap before you pass out right here right now”

his entire face is on fire

what the hell was THAT

namjoon watches as you lie down behind the counter and cuddle up to a makeshift pillow (his hoodie that he let you borrow after a long night of studying)

a couple days go by

things are

kinda normal ??

you guys are slowly falling back into your old routine

you apologise again and namjoon reassures you that he’s forgiven you and tells you to stop saying sorry before he kicks you out again

you get a chance to fully explain the situation and noW namjoon definitely forgives you

it was a misunderstanding and yeah he was pretty hurt but

he’s over it now

and he tells you to quit apologising otherwise he’ll make you a sandwich with no mayonnaise at aLL and you shut up immediately

also

you two haven’t brought up the kiss at all

namjoon is mortified

he’s never going to be spontaneous ever again

do you even remember kissing him?? (yes u do and ur freaking out about it)

god he hopes not

jeSus

if it isn’t obvious by now namjoon is a lil bit of a coward

it’s not his fault!!!!

why would a sane person want to step out of their comfort zone?? just STAY in the comfort zone that’s why it’s called the C OM F O R T zone

things that are within the vicinity of kim namjoon’s comfort zone:

1) adding a touch of sriracha to his sandwiches for a LITTLE bit of a kick

2) drinking soup and wearing a crisp, white button-up because he’s very neat and is 100% positive he won’t get a droplet of soup on his shirt

3) not making a move on you because he doesn’t know what to do and if he doesn’t know what to do he’s just going to leave it like that

you, on the other hand

you are very different

things that are within the vicinity of y/n y/l/n’s comfort zone:

1) adding a SHITloAD of spicy mustard to your sandwiches because p a i n   i s p le a su re

2) drinking soup and wearing a white tee-shirt because who cares?? if u stain the shirt you can just say you bought it like that AND it gives your clothes more character

3) making many maNy moves on namjoon to try and encourage him to reciprocate affection and eventually admit that he has feelings for you

“good morning, joonie~” namjoon’s eyes pop open when you lean down and plant a ‘’;’friendly’;;’;’ kiss on his cheek

o

that was unexpected

“morning” he clears his throat and stays quiet as you sit down and pull your things out

you wheel closer to him and look down at the desk “whatcha doin?”

“uh,” namjoon looks down at the book on the desk “re-binding a book… it, um, it was kinda falling apart but to be fair it’s a really old book so i can see why-“

“do you need help??” you reach over and brush your fingers over where namjoon’s holding the spine of the book down as he waits for the glue to dry

his cheeks immediately buRST into flames and he yanks his hand away before breaking into a nervous laugh “no!! it’s okay!!! i- uh, i suddenly remembered i.,,. i have to pEE” the chair spiNS in circles from how quickly he zippEd off of it and you let out a small breath

this is going to be a lot harder than u thought

“y/n, where did you- oh, there you are! your soup is getting cold” namjoon scratches the back of his neck

he furrows his brows when he sees you on your tip-toes on the toP STEP of the very VERY old wooden ladder

you turn to glance at him “oh, hey! i’ll be right there. i’m just cataloguing some of these older books”

“okay, um- maybe you should use the metal ladder instead?? didn’t i tell you the wooden one is basically falling apart?” namjoon adjusts his collar nervously

o god

his palms are getting sweaty

you look down at the ladder before shaking your head

“you never told me that”

LIES

he DID tell you that but this is all part of your master scheme

>:-)

although you’re probably going to break every single bone in ur body if you’re not careful so u should probably get off soon

you’re not aware of this yet but the weak wood is starting to splinter a bit under your weight

“i’m fine, joon. look!” namjoon’s heart stops in his chest when you stomp down on the step in a poor attempt to prove its stability “see?? totally fine”

oh my god

you’re purposely trying to kill him aren’t you

luckILY it doesn’t fall apart

and then he hears the first splinter

and a crack

and another crack

namjoon’s superman instincts immediately kick into gear and he zips towards you when the ladder suddenly snaps and you’re sent hurdLING TO THE GROUND

you find yourself in namjoon’s arms in a millisecond after falling and you blink up at him “holy shit”

“i toLD YOU” namjoon scolds and doesn’t budge when you slip an arm around his shoulder and praCTIcally cuddle up to him “i told you the wooden one was crap but you neveR listen to me and you could’ve seriously hurt yourself and whAT was the whole stomping thing are you an IDIOT-“

“you care about me” you grin and poke his chest and namjoon glances down at you

he clears his throat

“of course i care about u” he lets you back down onto your feet and takes a step away from you “now come and eat ur stupid soup before i smack u”

somehow you end up tricking namjoon into feeding you spoonfuls of soup because you’re “still shaken up from what just happened”

namjoon rolls his eyes at your antics but uh

he plays along

:-)

“y/n y/l/n??? reading??? preposterous!” you look up from your book when namjoon suddenly appears and sets a stack of books on the countertop

“don’t use your fancy vocabulary in front of me, you know i only know like 3 words maximum”

“what are you reading?” he adjusts his glasses and peeks over a little

“i don’t even know what i’m reading. i just picked it up because i was bored. it’s called ‘Captain Corelli’s Mandolin’. i thought it was about pirates but it’s….. noT.”

of course u thought it was about pirates

“oh! i’ve read that one! Louis de Bernières, right?”

you close the book to look at the front cover

“ya it’s lewis dee bearnards.”

namjoon looks at you like,, okay A+ for effort

“read it out loud”

“don’t you have work to do?”

“i do, but read a line to me! refresh my memory”

“alright, alright - here” you lean your elbows on the counter so that you’re right next to namjoon

you clear your throat and open the book to find where you were at

“When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, and then it subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots are to become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is.”

“Because this is what love is.” namjoon quotes quietly and you put the book down

the two of you lock gazes and you can’t help but notice that something feels different between the two of you

and then you find yourself leaning closer

and closer

and closer

and-

“anYways it’s a really good boOk” namjoon suddenly stands up before clumsily picking up the stack of books “i’ll be in the back!!!!!!”

you groan quietly

SO close

“thanks for walking me home” you smile up at joon and he nods in response “and thanks for lending me your cardigan”

you slip your arm from his as you go to unlock your door

you turn around and wrinkle your nose “you probably want your cardigan ba-“

“you can keep it!” namjoon blurts out and quickly looks away “i mean, um… if you want. you can keep it. so next time you have something to keep you warm when it’s cold?”

you press your lips together to hide your grin and you nod and look down at the plain brown cardigan “okay, well… thanks again.” you murmur and take a lil step closer to namjoon

he looks up at you in surprise and you can FEEL the magnetic attraction bringing the two of you closer and closer

it’s going to happen

he’s going to kiss you at your front door

and it’s going to be magical

and then-

“i think i left my oven on at home” namjoon breathes out and he’s SO close you feel his breath wash over your lips “can i text you later?”

god DAMNIT

this is fucking ridiculous

you and joon keep having these almost-kiss moments and you will GLADLY smooch the man but he backs out every time and is like hOohOo i’ll be in the back!!!!!!!!! or he’ll be like i NEED 2 PEE or like i NEED TO READ A BOOK NOW

whenever you’re standing near him or your knee brushes over his when you guys are sitting with each other he gets all nervous and jittery and his face gets all flushed and then he’s like i NEED TO DUST SOMETHING

and then when he leaves each time you have to refrain yourself from grabbing the stapler and like stapling your fingers together out of frustration

he’s just so!!!!!!!! he’s being such a nAMJOON

you’ve never really chased a guy down like this before

and at first it was fun but now you’re just frustrated

so you’ve finally decided it’s time for the last resort

as much as you hate confrontation

it’s necessary in this situation

“i have a question for you” you murmur as you scribble a note down in your journal

it’s a pretty quiet afternoon in the library (as per usual except there are less people here since exam season is over)

namjoon’s sitting behind the counter and you’re standing in front of it doing your work because you felt like your ass was going to fall off from how numb it became due to you sitting on it for like 5 hours straight

you set your pencil down quietly “joon.”

namjoon sighs and flips through his book “if it’s about the online library system i told you you have to hit the big green button for it to sav-“

“why don’t you wanna kiss me again? i know you like me too”

wait wat

namjoon chokes on his tea and pats his chest a couple times before quickly adjusting his glasses

did you just

did he hear you right

what the fu

what???

what’s happening

is this a fever dream

you like him too?

“sorry - w-what?”

“i said - i know you like me too. so what’s the problem, dimples?” you lean over on the counter and prop your chin up on your palm

what’s the problem?

the problem is that this is way too good to be true

he knows exactly what’s happening

you don’t like him you only think you like him

he doesn’t need your pity

you’re only saying you like him because he’s the lame librarian and he’s not mr athlete like yoongi and you’re trying to make him feel better

“i- who- look, i don’t know who put this ridiculous idea in your head, but i-i don’t!” namjoon gets up from his chair quickly and walks out from behind the counter

the little gate snAPS shut

“why’d you kiss me in the first place then??”

…,.,.touché

“to get you to shuT uP” namjoon explains as if it’s the most obvious answer in the world even though he’s definitely lying thru his teeth right now

“to get me to shut up mY ASS”

namjoon bites down on in inside of his cheek and suppresses a groan

OH my god you are so IRRITATING

“wha- if anything, i think you’re the most infuriating, annoying, and obnoxious girl i’ve ever met!” namjoon takes a step towards you and towers over you but you don’t budge “you- you always crash the cataloguing system and you never put the books back in alphabetical order like you’re supposed to and on top of that you’re always bringing your dumb snacks in here and you always leave crumbs everywhere for me to clean up even though i’ve told you multiple times you have to clean up after yoursel- mmph!”

namjoon’s eyes go as wide as saucers when you’re suddenly grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and yanking him down so that you can kiss him

S M O O C H

you pull away and namjoon blinks quickly before his cheeks flare up

you let go of his collar and smooth it down before prodding your finger into his chest accusingly

“you have all these complaints about me yet you never activELy try to stop me and that signals to me that yoU LIKE ME- oh!” namjoon’s suddenly grabbing your waist and pushing you up against the counter and then he leans down to mash his lips against yours

you feel the sting from where the counter is digging into your back but holy shit you do noT give a fuck right now

his hands are cupping your face and he tilts his head to deepen the kiss

namjoon licks into your mouth and you let out a small noise of surprise

you whimper and tug at his tie to pull him even closer to you

“waIt wait wait oh god this is highly inappropriate y/n we’re in an educational setting” namjoon pulls away from you and you find yourself chasing after his lips before you’re like you’rE right you’re right

so the two of you step away from each other and you smooth out your shirt while namjoon adjusts his collar

the two of you look at each other and lock gazes

…

and then you’re immediately lunging at each other again and namjoon’s strong arms wrap around your waist while your arms wrap around his neck

he lifts you up in one swift movement and you find yourself sitting on the countertop leaning down to kiss joon while he slots himself in between your legs and places one hand on your waist while the other rests on your thigh

“you’re a very good kisser” you murmur into the kiss  

“don’t underestimate me” he squeezes your thigh and you smack his hand away when it starts sliding up higher and higher

“so are you still positive that you don’t like me back?” you pout and slide a hand down his chest and namjoon reaches up to wrap his fingers around your wrist

he purses his lips and pretends to think “you might have to kiss me again and then i’ll have a definite answer for you”

you giggle and cup his cheeks before leaning in to give him a sweet little peck and namjoon hums happily

“…yeah, i definitely like you back”

the two of you can’t hide the fat grins on your faces

god bless the library

surprisingly enough you aren’t actually that much of a party person

just because going to parties requires so much damn effort

you take like two hours to slather 10 pounds of makeup on your face and another hour to squeeze into a saucy outfit

and then when you get to the frat house it’s all dark inside so doing your makeup wasn’t even worth it

and when you sit down you have to sit straight otherwise you’ll buSt out of your jeans

you only go to parties because of jimin

he usually takes care of the drinks and it would be plain rude of you to say no to free drinks!!!!!!!!

the basketball team is celebrating their big win and they’re going aLL out and they asked jimin to take care of the drinks for them at this party and so jimin was like ya you don’t have a choice you have to come to the party

and you know jimin’s going to be busy all night so you invited namjoon to come along

no offence to your sweet boyfriend but you hope he doesn’t get too overwhelmed because he gets overwhelmed pretty easily

obviously parties aren’t his scene which isn’t a bad thing

you told him that if he was uncomfortable and wanted to leave you would totally leave with him

you’re predicting that he’s going to show up in a sweater vest or something

bless him

to be fair you’re wearing one of his cardigans over your outfit right now just because it’s still a little chilly out anD the cardigan kind of matched with your ~lewk~ for the night

and also it smells like him and makes u feel cozy

:~)

“look at this set up! this is like a legit bar” you smooth your hands over the marble countertop and jimin nods enthusiastically

“i know right!!! you’re lucky that you’re friends with the bartender - so what can i get for you tonight, ma’am?” jimin smirks and tosses a rag over his shoulder before wiggling his brows

“surprise me, minnie” you grin

“where’s namjoon?” jimin plops a chunk of lime into the shaker

“he’s on his way! he wanted to stay back and clean up before coming here and he-“ your phone suddenly buzzes in your pocket “-and he’s calling me right now pardon me” jimin nods and wanders off to the other end of the bar for the ice

“hello?”

“hey, i just got here - where are you?”

“i’m by the bar! i’m wearing your cardigan so-“

“oh! okay, i see you. i’ll see you in a sec” you hang up and slip your phone into your back pocket and jimin wanders back over with your drink

“i’ll start you off with a spicy blackberry margarita” you ‘ooh’ in amazement because this looks like a veRy fancy drink

jimin watches you expectantly as you take a sip and your eyes pop open “this is SO good!!!!! please keep them coming or i’m suing” you murmur while taking the straw in between your lips again

“hi baby” you feel someone slip an arm around you from behind and you immediately recognise that musky cologne when joon props his chin up on your shoulder

“mm- hey dweeb” you pop a quick kiss on his cheek but you’re not really paying attention because this drink is bOMB

“what are you drinking?”

“it’s a spicy blackberry margarita. did you wanna try- woah.” you choke on your drink when namjoon sits on the stool next to you and you get a really reALLy good chance to look at your boyfriend because sweetie this is not your boyfriend

he has his hair slicked back

he’s not wearing his glasses

he has two small silver hoops hanging from his ears

he’s wearing a plain white tee that is very veRy tight around his biceps and a pair of ripped skinny jeans anD a pair of timberlands

y/n.exe has stopped working

“-whaaaaaaauhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-“

whose mans is this

is this your mans???

this is your mans????

“aren’t you going to give me a proper kiss hello?” namjoon tilts his head and pouts

what the hell

what the hell?////???

“who are you and what did you do to namjoon?????” you manage to squeak out

he rolls his eyes playfully before leaning in and slotting his lips against yours

“cute outfit, by the way. a cardigan’s kinda dorky for a house party though, don’t you think?” he raises a brow and tugs you off your seat so you can stand in between his legs

“you’re calling me dorky??”

“i’m not the one wearing a cardigan at a party. have you never been to a party before?” namjoon slips his hands under the cardigan and rests his hands on your hips and gives you a little squeeze

“excuse-“

“y/n! hey, girl!” you feel a little piece of your soul die when you hear that familiar pitchy voice

you spin around in namjoon’s grip so that he’s hidden behind you

“wendy! …hey…” you clear your throat

you haven’t spoken to wendy or the others since the incident

just because they’re assholes and u don’t really,.,., like assholes??

“ugh, i’m so glad you made it! look, the girls and i just wanted to give you an apology.”

“well it’s not me you should be apologising to” you raise a brow

wendy scoffs playfully “well it’s not like kim namjoon would be at this party. you can just apologise to him for us or something!”

suddenly namjoon yanks you down so that you’re sitting on his leg

his arm slithers around your waist and your arm hangs loosely around his neck  

“wendy! so nice to see you again!” before you get the chance to say anything namjoon offers the three girls a charming smile

.,,.,.god his teeth are literally perfect

wendy’s brows furrow in confusion

“see you agai- wait, namjoon?” she gawks and you feel a twinge of anger when her eyes graze him from his head to his toes

lisa and jisoo exchange glances before murmuring things to each other

you catch a glimpse of lisa staring at namjoon as if he were a piece of mEat

the AUDACITY of these girls

she takes her bottom lip in between her teeth before her right eye drops in a wink

namjoon sighs

“you alright, lisa? is there something in your eye? you’re blinking weird. and jisoo - i see a widdle piece of lettuce in your teeth.”

the two girls’ faces flush bright red and you press your lips together to keep yourself from laughing

wendy shakes her head “you- wow, you clean up nice…”

“wish i could say the same for you.” he pouts and reaches out to pinch her cheek “you’re looking a little red… maybe the stick up your ass is causing tension?” he suggests and props his chin up on your shoulder

woW

breaking news: wendy has just been COMPleteLY obliterated

“wow… whatever.”

you remain silent as the three girls immediately whiP around and head in the other direction

“…do you think i should go and apologise?” namjoon suggests sheepishly and you turn to look at him

“if anything i think you should’ve taken it farther”

“and this is why i like u”

“i know” you raise your fist and namjoon laughs before bumping his fist against yours “now, c’mon - let’s get you a spicy blackberry margarita”

okay

so

about two hours have passed

you and joon have been hanging out at the bar mostly

jimin keeps testing new drinks on the two of you

both of you have an ample amount of alcohol flowing through your veins

and now you’re on the couch because the bar was getting too busy

and uh

you’ve always been a affectionate!drunk and namjoon is now realising this

“what’s gotten into you?” namjoon laughs after you rub your nose against his before pulling away to give him a lil kith

“just loving on my boyfrienD” you giggle and wrap his arm around your shoulder before nuzzling against him

in the background you hear the commotion of people getting excited because jungkook’s gone and volunteered himself for body shots

you very faintly see min yoongi and the random thought of that water girl job pops into your head

namjoon takes the red plastic cup away from you “mhm, i think that’s enough for you, missy”

“namjOoooOn” you immediately make grabby hands for your cup and namjoon holds it away from you so that you can’t reach it

you’re practically stretched out on his lap trying to grab it

you huff and roll your eyes “well noW what am i going to do to pass the time”

spoiler alert: u somehow persuade joon into a make-out session on the couch (it was pretty easy and u had good points “everyone’s over in the kitchen doing body shots and also u look super hot tonight”)

you pull away from namjoon and take your bottom lip in between your teeth “…you wanna get outta here?”

“you need to learn how to be more patient” namjoon laughs when you squirm your way in between him and his front door

it’s hard to unlock the door when you’re pressing kisses to his neck aNd tugging at his shirt at the same time

“you need to learn how to find your damn keyS” you groan and tug at his belt

the moment namjoon unlocks the door he pushes you in and the keys clatter to the ground

“now look who needs to learn how to be patient” you squeal when he lifts you up in one swift movement and wraps your legs around his waist

“it’s still you” namjoon murmurs against your mouth and you bite down on his lip in retaliation

he grins and squeezes the underside of your thigh causing you to giggle

“stoP i’m ticklish there” you murmur and namjoon raises a brow

you pull away and jab a finger into his chest “don’t even thiNK about it”

“i have no idea what you’re talking about” namjoon shrugs innocently as he begins the small trek to the bedroom

you don’t know how he hasn’t dropped you yet

like ya you knew he was strong but you didn’t know he was thiS strong

your fingers wrap around his bicep and you give a testing squeeze and you feel a ziP of heat down there when he flexes underneath your fingers

o fuk

you fall onto the mattress and it bounces under your weight and the next thing you know namjoon is hovering over you

“c’mere, you” namjoon breathes out and leans down to press his plump lips against yours

he grunts when you roll your hips against his and let out a whimper

frick

he wants to hear you make more noises for him  

“wait wait wait” you breathe out and pull away from joon

“what’s wrong?” namjoon sits up immediately

what did he do???? o god

he fucked up what did he DO

you reach over to the bedside table and namjoon’s like ??

namjoon blinks quickly as you slip his glasses onto his face

“as much as i liked bad boy namjoon i miss my bookworm”

“do you find visual impairment sexy?” namjoon adjusts his glasses and crinkles his nose

adoraBLE

you giggle and lean in to kiss him again

namjoon jumps when he feels your hands tugging at his belt and he immediately reaches down and wraps his fingers around your wrist

“what are you doing?” he breathes out and you move down and start pressing kisses to his neck

“taking your pants off”

well like

he knOWs what you’re doing he just

he doesn’t want to like,, pressure you into doing stuff because he rly likes u and u guys haven’t been together for thAt long

“we don’t have to-“

“why? are you a virgin?” you tease and namjoon scowls playfully as you continue to undo his belt “because i can be gentle with you!”

okay

he doesn’t like this game

“maybe we should get some chocolate covered strawberries and champagne?”

you continue your little jokes even as namjoon pushes you down gently on the bed

your head flops against the pillows

“you want me to light some candles?” you giggle when namjoon gives the side of your bum a smack after peeling your leggings off and tossing them aside

“oh yeah, i love candles. i especially love those vanilla scented ones.” namjoon tilts his head before peeling his shirt off and tossing it aside

you pause in your teasing for a second to admire joon’s sun-kissed tanned god-like skin

you want to take a bite out of his biceps

“maybe we can take a bubble bath or something? to ease your nerves” you coo and poke his nose when he slots himself in between your legs and leans down with his hands on either side of your head

“that does sound nice. i’m trembling with nerves, after all” namjoon sighs and buries his face into the crook of your neck and starts pressing kisses to your skin

“don’t worry - i’ll be gentle with you” you mutter and namjoon snorts before biting down on your shoulder playfully  

oh god

you’re on cloud nine right now

“oh, namjoon,” you gasp and dig your nails into the nape of his neck

your back arches against his chest when he thrusts into you again

your toes curl into the mattress

you’ve never had sex like this before

it’s a slow slow burn and you can already tell that this is the best orgasm you’re ever going to have

“you feel so good” namjoon moans lowly and his raspy voice “s-so warm n tight and you’re all mine- nngh- fuck,”

“oh my god namjoon”  you whimper breathily and your finger dig into his back

namjoon brushes his lips over yours in an almost kiss as he struggles to breathe because you feel so good around him

your vocabulary is very limited at the moment just because your mind is clouded with lust and you can’t focus on anything besides namjoon namjoon namjoon

“good?” namjoon leans down and presses his forehead against yours before his hand is slithering in between your legs

“good, s-so good,” you whine and arch your back against him

he keeps at a steady pace and continues to build up the pleasure and the tingling sensation and your toes curl into the mattress

“nam-namjoon- i-i’m-“ you choke over your words as you finally fall apart beneath him his eyes are hazy with pleasure and his pupils are so dilated that they’ve basically swallowed all colour in his eyes

“i’ve got you, you’re okay,” namjoon murmurs as he starts planting soft kisses along your jawline and then down your neck

the next thing you know you’re seeing stars and you’ve officially been reduced to a trembling whimpering mess

namjoon manages four and a half more thrusts before he’s letting out a groan as his orgasm slams into him suddenly

he gives you one last kiss before rolling off of you

you immediately cuddle up to his chest and the two of you share a moment of silence where you’re just processing what the heck just happened

“…not bad for a virgin, eh?” namjoon grins and you snort against his chest before whacking his arm gently

“c’mon, i think i promised you a bubble bath”

you love your handsome boyfriend

but those thick square frames of his makes him look like such a dork (which makes you love him even more)

sometimes he leaves them on the counter because he says wearing them too much gives him migraines

and you like to take advantage of the situation

“i’m namjoon and i can’t walk five steps without tripping over my feet!” you imitate namjoon and the boys burst out into laughter and you can’t help but feel a sense of pride not only because you know your impression is spot on but it’s also funny as hell

“i’m namjoon and i keep stale candies in my pocket like a grandpa”

another round of laughter and you’re feeling good

“hey wait - where are you guys going??? i haven’t even gotten to the good ones ye-“

you jump when you feel an arm slither around your waist and suddenly you’re being pulled into a hard chest

“i’m namjoon and you’re in big trouble when we get off from work today”

boyfriends usually find it sexy when their girlfriends wear an article of their clothing

and sure you’ve stolen a couple of joonie’s tees and hoodies and he thinks you look adorable drowning in his clothes

but nothing gets him going more than seeing you wear his glasses

especially when you wear them while you’re riding him  

you know that saying

gentleman on the streets but freak in the sheets

namjoon is the epitome of that saying

“nNgh- na- namjoon! ah, joon, fuck-“ namjoon’s glasses slide down until they’re on the tip of your nose and namjoon groans at the sight

his fingers dig into the flesh of your hips and he bucks his hips making you cry out in pleasure

“fuck, look at you, falling apart on my cock - oh, you like it when i talk to you like this? naughty little girl” he reaches up to grasp your chin and presses his lips against yours

in conclusion: nothing gets him going more than seeing you wear his glasses

namjoon’s pretty proud of the fact that he gave you a new appreciation for books

because you’re reading a new book like eveRy week which is great

but now he’s starting to think that you might like books more than you like him

and he’s not typically the kind of person who whines because he thinks whining is annoying and won’t get you anywhere

but you are turning him into a whiney person because of your new infatuation with books

“joon, stop,” you scowl and push him away when he rests his head on your shoulder and starts reading along with you

you like to read alone and he knows that but he likes being near you!!!!!!! and you’ve been silent for like an hour!!!!!! and he misses your voice!!!!! so SUE HIM

“but you’ve been reading for an hour and i’m bored” namjoon pouts and slumps down on the desk

you look down at him and your heart flutters at how cute he looks with his pillowy lips in a pout and his cheek squished against the desk

“well let me finish reading a couple more chapt-“

“a couple more?!” namjoon squawks and gets the attention of some people sitting near the counter

“-and then i’m all yours! it’s just getting to the good part. i don’t bother you when you’re working!”

“because when i’m working, you’re working too! and you actually interAct with me when we work” namjoon grumbles and sits up before grabbing a random book and flipping through it angrily

“well i’m taking a break”

“yEAh like your fifth break in two hours”

“watch the attitude mister”

“u watch youR attitude” namjoon huffs before wheeling back to his side of the counter

he turns and gives you his best angry-looking face and you snort before putting your book down because he looks like an angry puppy

you wheel over to him and rest your cheek on his shoulder and namjoon shakes you off

“have i not been giving you enough attention, hm?” you coo and link your arm with his before grabbing his hand

namjoon doesn’t respond and continues to click on the laptop but he doesn’t let go of your hand

it’s time to pull out

the biG GUNS

you immediately smoosh your lips against his cheek and assault him with kisses and namjoon can’t help but break out into a giggle

this is all he needs to stay happy!!! just kiSs him a couple times a hour and he won’t be whiney anymore

it’s not that hARD TO DO

he reaches up to cup your face and leans in to give you a soft peck before pointing to the book that you abandoned for him

“go and finish reading… bOokworm”

namjoon typically is very gentle when it comes to pretty much everything

when he’s rebinding books he does it with such delicacy and precision so that a page is never out of place

when he’s dusting shelves his wrist flicks so subtlety as to not knock any books over

when he holds your hand he intertwines your fingers with his and it makes you feel soft and cozy on the inside

but the namjoon that is currently in between your legs is not the same namjoon

and you love it

you gasp as namjoon’s fingers dig into the meat of your inner thighs to keep you planted firmly against the bed as you try to buck your hips

“joon, i c-can’t-“ you whimper and squirm underneath him

“yes you can, i know you can,” namjoon purrs and presses a kiss to your inner thigh before leaning down and burying his face in between your legs

he’s already made you cum twice with his fingers alone and now he wants to make you cum with his mouth

“nO namjoon please-“ you mewl and bury your fingers in his hair before yanking “please i need you so bad”

as much as namjoon would like to spend the rest of the day with his face buried in between your legs he knows you’re not going to last much longer so he’ll show some mercy

also he’s like buSting out of his pants so he needs to relieve himself too

#selfcare2k19

namjoon sighs before pulling away and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand

he can’t help but smirk at the sight of you flopped on his bed with your hair in a halo around your head and your cheeks are flushed and your lips are swollen and your eyes are glassy

all because of him

“only because you’ve been such a good girl”

“i- oh!”

namjoon flips you over onto your stomach in one quick motion “and you’re going to continue being a good girl for me, aren’t you?”

you hear the gentle tinkering of his belt and the shuffling of his pants and you bite down on your bottom lip in anticipation

you nod quickly and prop yourself up onto your forearms

namjoon chuckles when you squirm and wiggle your bum against him “patience, jagi”

“i’ve been patient” you murmur into the crook of your elbow and namjoon smacks the side of your bum in warning

your eyes flicker up when you see namjoon’s hand reach out to grip onto the headboard

his other hand is on your hip and you freeze when you feel him easing himself in slowly

he starts off slow to let you adjust

but the moment you give him the green light

all hell breaks loose

namjoon begins fucking into you at a merciless pace and you can’t help but mewl and moan underneath him

you feel like your body isn’t even attached to your minD right now because you’ve never felt pleasure like this before

namjoon stays silent apart from his heavy breathing and the occasional grunt and if that’s not the sexiest sound in the entire world you don’t know what the hell is

“tell me who’s making you feel this good” namjoon growls into your ear and gives you a particularly hard thrust

“y-you, you are, i-i, oh god, namjoon-!“ you gasp and bury your head in the pillows

“up, baby” he warns you and wraps his arm under your stomach as he pulls you and straightens you out

your arms are shaking underneath you as you hold yourself up and namjoon leans down to press a kiss to the back of your neck

and then he’s placing his palm on the small of your back and continuing to push himself into you as deep as he possibly can

your orgasm practically obliterates your body when it finally comes

spots dot your vision and your fingers dig into the mattress and namjoon’s name continues to slip past your lips over and over again

you spasm uncontrollably around namjoon and that triggers his own orgasm because hoLy fuck you’re so warm and tight and-

namjoon pulls out and you feel splatters on the swell of your ass and you hear him groaning lowly as he finally relieves himself

you have no idea what’s happening

all you hear is white noise

all you feel are tingles up and down your spine

“you did such a good job, baby” you weren’t even aware that namjoon left to go to the washroom and now he’s cleaning you up with a warm rag “such a good girl for me” he coos and presses a kiss to your shoulder before he flips you over gently so that you’re on your back

he leans down to give you a sweet peck before nudging his nose against yours

honestly.,,.,. get u a man who can do both

“y/n!”

you look up from your phone and namjoon’s holding up the cataloguing notebook with a raised brow

“purple glitter pen??? seriously??” he says in a verY unimpressed manner

your eyes flicker over to the sheet before you look back at your frustrated boyfriend

“…you said you didn’t want me to use pink so i used purple”

namjoon suppresses a groan and pinches the bridge of his nose

some things never change

[dailyaudiobible]

09/13/2020 DAB Transcript

Isaiah 12:1-14:32, 2 Corinthians 13:1-14, Psalms 57:1-11, Proverbs 23:9-11

Today is the 13th day of September welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I'm Brian it is great to be here with you as we reach the…the threshold of a shiny, sparkly, new week. We only get to do this 52 times in a year, and this is one of those times, but 52 times a year we get to imagine ourselves walking forward into our future. We are right here, right now and there is a week in front of us and it's ours, it's a gift, it's ours. We get to write the story of our lives upon this week and we get to choose what that's gonna look like. We can just wander into it aimlessly and be tossed about, like we just stepped out of last week and jumped into a washing machine on spin cycle or we can orient ourselves to God each day and walk with confidence into this week, knowing who we are and knowing where we’re going. And let's choose the latter. Let’s do the…let's do the latter thing that I just said. Let's walk into this week with confidence together and allow the Scriptures to inform our choices and decisions and postures of heart in the coming days including today. So, we got a brand-new. We’re gonna read from the English Standard Version this week and we will pick up in the book of Isaiah where we left off yesterday. Isaiah chapters 12, 13, and 14.

Prayer:

Father, we thank You for Your word. We thank You for a new week. We enter this new week with…with a grateful heart. And even as we have now concluded the book of second Corinthians and look forward into the new week moving into some new territory in the New Testament, we are grateful. We see that we are progressing. And we are not only progressing through the Bible, this big thick ancient book, the Bible is making us progress forward in our lives, our Spirits are being renewed, we are being sanctified, we are being set apart as holy. This is remarkable and we are grateful. And, so, we thank You. We look forward to all that You will speak to us in the coming days of this week. Well up from within Holy Spirit. May we become more and more aware of Your constant presence in our lives. We pray this in the name of Jesus. Amen.

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And that's it for today. I’m Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Lord we lift up Your children who are burdened with feelings of shame and condemnation. We thank You Lord that You do not condemn us or shame us. Convict us, yes, because You want to encourage us to turn away from sin and toward You. But shame and condemnation are chains the enemy designed to mobilize us and hinder Your work. Help us and our brothers and sisters in Christ who are bound by chains of shame and condemnation to raise our fettered hands for You and allow You to remove our shackles. Lead us to verses in Your word that affirm Your forgiveness for all confessed sins. Remind us that You have cast those confessed sins as far as the east is from the west encouraging us that just as east and west never meet so our confessed sins are cast forever out of Your presence. Give us Your strength to leave those sins at the cross and to walk in the newness of life that Jesus purchased for us. Thank You, Lord that there’s no sin You cannot forgive, no sinner that You cannot save, no chain that You cannot break. Thank You that when the enemy whispers an invitation to walk back through the valley of shame and condemnation, we can answer him as it is written - I will forgive their iniquity and I will remember their sin no more. Thank You that no matter how many times we fall into that valley Your help to escape it is only a prayer away. Thank You, Lord that no matter how many times we give up on ourselves You never do. Free us Lord so that we can use what You’ve done for us to lead others to that same freedom that You have given us. Help us Lord to empty our hands of all that hinder us so that You can fill them with Your word, Your worship and Your work. I ask all these things or something even better in the mighty name of Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith. Amen.

Hey, everyone this is Valerie from Arizona calling again. I just left a message a couple of days ago I was feeling pretty down about my difficulties for me and my husband dealing with infertility. And as some of you guys may remember I have been living in the past as I’ve been saying, listening to the DAB entries from the beginning…the beginning of the year on and something just really, really incredible happened. So, I’m not caught up to date. So, I’m not listening to the current prayer requests or anything but I just felt so moved to call in last week when I was feeling down and I thought, you know, even if I don’t hear these until I make it to September then then I think I’ll still feel better knowing that maybe people out there are praying. So, something really cool happened. I’m painting this weekend, I’m working on projects and I’m blasting through all the entries and on April 19th someone named Hopeful called in and her message, it’s like it was for me in that moment and it was about how you can be thankful for things in your life even if maybe motherhood isn’t happening when you want it to happen. And I just felt so amazed and overwhelmed by that, that here I am listening to all these past entries and God still finds a way to connect me with somebody for the problem I was having this weekend, feeling down. So, God’s amazing, I’m just so thankful I found this app and this community, and I just had to come on and give a little praise report. And I’m out of time so I’ll talk to you guys soon. Praise Jesus. O…I just love it.

Hey fellow DABbers this is Joe the Protector from Georgia September 9th here 7:58 in the morning. Just got finished listening to the 9th day of the DAB and I’m calling in reference to Joe the new listener who called in. And Joe I just want you to know that we do have your back spiritually and that we are in prayer with you and that this fight that we fight daily…daily. It’s a spiritual battle. We fight a daily spiritual battle. It’s not a weekly or a monthly or even a yearly battle as the Israelites did when…when they had to go sacrifice once a year but this is a daily battle that we have to come to God and sacrifice what’s going on in our life. So, Joe I want you to know that just stay firm, be courageous and bold. Don’t give in to the enemy’s tactics because that’s what this is, is one of the enemy’s tactics. And God has not promised us a life of ease but of hardship. It says it in His word that this is a...this path that we take is a life of hardship at times. So, Joe we’ve got your back and I totally get and understand what you’re going through. I’ve had it happen in my home as well and not…maybe to the severity you have it, but I do have it. So, just…just take a stand, just right now in your mind just take that stand. All right fellow DABbers. Love you all. Be safe. See y’all next time.

Hey all, this is the Midwest teacher I hope you’re having a blessed day. This message is for Sonny from Florida. Sonny I know exactly what you’re going through. Last year three months before my husband and I’s three-year anniversary he was diagnosed with leukemia. And we definitely expected trials in our marriage but that was not one that we foresaw. And I…I just…I get it and it is so difficult and I can’t imagine going through it our first year of marriage. But I do have a verse that I highlighted shortly after he got diagnosed and I would love to read that to you. But please know that I am praying for you. A lot of us are praying for you. Don’t let the devil get inside your head or your wife’s head. Here’s that verse. It’s Psalm 18:16 through 18. He reached down from on high and took hold of me. He drew me out of deep waters. He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes who are too strong for me. They confronted me in the day of my disaster, but the Lord was my support. Just know that we’re thinking of you and praying for you and don’t hesitate to call in and give us updates or more prayer request because we are here for you. We are here for you. Thank you. Bye.

Good morning Daily…Daily Audio Bible family it’s Susan from Canada, God’s Yellow…God’s Yellow Flower calling. I’ve been listening daily and praying daily for each and every one of you and my heart just breaks over each and every one of your prayer requests. It’s just so distressing that I want you to know that I do pray along with you guys will and I love you all and you move me deeply with your tears and your…and your troubles. And I want to pray for Joe the new listener, welcome Joe to the family. We’re glad to have you and we pray that we can support you in your walk. And, so, let’s pray. Dear heavenly Father I just ask that You be with Joe and strengthen him and give him wisdom during this time of attack on his family and his home. I pray Holy Spirit that You would just fill his home, every corner of his home, that everyone there will know that You are God and that no evil can enter. Dear Lord I come against the powers of Satan that are trying to bring this home down, bring this family down and I just ask dear God that Your You send Your angels with a burning fire to just eliminate Satan from that home, just to hold…uphold Joe with Your righteous right hand and give him the strength he needs to overcome and to empower his family with truth. In Jesus’ precious and holy name, I pray.

__ gosh I want to cry. Hold me together Lord. I just need some prayer. My sisters daughter has been killed in a car accident yesterday and she leaves behind a daughter and a husband and a sister and her brother and mother and two fathers. __ if we can have prayer all around from everybody and having everyone connected. We are __ this prayer line opportunity __. Bye.

This is my first-time calling in. I was looking at pictures on Facebook tonight of the country where I’ve been a missionary. My name is Jeannie and that is…the name of the country is Niger Republic. There’s a terrible flood going on there and there are hundreds of people in the capital city of Niamey that are without any place to sleep, they’re without close, they’re without food, they’ve lost everything. So, please pray for them. Pray that sons come in to help many people and that this is an…this will become a glorious opportunity for many Muslim people in that country to come to know that there’s a Savior named Jesus who loves them and who wants them to be in relationship with Him. Thanks everybody.

[baixueagain]

All my emails with tumblr thus far. As you can see, they’ve been passing me between different members of staff (”Alfredo,” “Justin/Jay,” and “Carmen N.”), dodging my questions, copy-pasting from the easily accessible Help Center already on tumblr (as if I can’t look that up myself), and attempting to gaslight me about the fact that they falsely accused me of a very serious felony, not to mention that they terminated - not suspended - my last blog without a warning or an explanation. Please note that this is the first time in seven months (when my original blog bai-xue was terminated) that anyone at tumblr has responded to me at all, and that in that time two more of my blogs were terminated, one accompanied by a false accusation and the other with no explanation whatsoever. 

Additionally, in June, @bullet-farmer very kindly wrote to @support on my behalf. They responded to her emails almost immediately, and continued emailing back and forth with her until she cc’d me and I responded to the email chain. After that, they ceased speaking to bullet-farmer altogether.

@staff​ @support​ I’d really love to hear an explanation for all this, not to mention an apology and an assurance that this sort of unprofessional behaviour won’t be repeated.

Check under the cut below for transcripts of all the emails so far.

July 18, 2:38 PM GMT 

Me (Karen) to Tumblr Support:

Hello,

I am wondering if there is any way I can further verify my account with tumblr to keep from getting terminated.

I have been terminated three times due to harassment campaigns. It has impacted my business as an indie artist and writer, since I am trying to use tumblr to build a following. After ten successful years on this site, I have had to rebuild my account from scratch three times within the last six months.

I wish to continue using tumblr, but I can only assume that the trolls who have targeted me before will do so again, and will continue to submit false reports to get me terminated.

Please tell me, how can I avoid this and protect my account from this happening again? I am willing to provide whatever personal information is necessary.

Thank you,

Karen

July 18, 3:18 PM GMT

Tumblr Support (”Alfredo”) to Me

Hi Karen,

Thank you for writing in. Your email is already verified. Any blogs reported by Tumblr users are reviewed for validity by our Trust and Safety team before they are terminated. If you believe you are being harassed, we ask that you use our online Abuse forms located here:

https://www.tumblr.com/abuse

To report a post in the mobile apps, just click the share icon (that paper airplane) and choose "Report." That'll open the form and you can tell us what you're reporting from there. To report an entire blog, tap the blog's username to view their blog, then tap the little human icon, and then tap "Report."

Please select the form that most closely corresponds to the violation you’re reporting, which will help us correctly route your complaint.

We appreciate you taking the time to write in.

Tumblr Community Support

July 18, 6:21 PM GMT

Me to Tumblr Support (”Alferdo”)

Hi Alfredo,

Email verification is not what I am talking about. I am talking about how to protect my blog from being wrongfully terminated again. It has been terminated three times due to false mass reports from trolls. I have been using tumblr for years to build an audience for my artwork, and now, because I have been terminated so many times, that audience is gone and my art business is suffering. 

There has to be a way to protect myself from being terminated due to false accusations and false reports. How can I, as a professional and an artist, make sure that this stops happening to me? I am sure there is some way that professionals such as Neil Gaiman protect their blogs from being terminated due to trolling efforts. What information do I need to send you to keep this from happening to me again? I am happy to provide a passport or a residence permit.

Please, I have reached out for help so many times in the last six months, and you are the first person to ever answer me. Please help me.

Karen

July 18, 9:18 PM GMT

Tumblr Support (”Justin/Jay”) to Me

Hello,

Thanks for writing in again. Please take a look at our new Community Guidelines.

As of December 17, 2018, adult content is no longer permitted on Tumblr. Any newly uploaded content flagged as adult will be hidden from public view. We will also flag existing adult content, with the ultimate goal of removing as much of it as we can. This new policy negates the need for Safe Mode, so this feature no longer exists. These new policies are the same regardless of your age.

If any of your content is flagged as adult, we will notify you by email. The email will outline steps you can take to review the content in question. If you disagree with the classification of your flagged post, you will have a chance to appeal the decision.

Please let us know if you have any additional questions.

Thanks,

Jay,

Tumblr Community Support

July 18, 10:06 PM GMT

Me to Tumblr Support (”Justin/Jay”)

Hi Justin,

If you take a look at my terminated blogs bai-xue-lives and bai-xue-lives2, you will see that I never posted any adult content. I have followed community guidelines quite closely. Nevertheless, I was still reported by trolls, and I was still terminated because of those reports. In the case of my blog bai-xue-lives, two of my posts were flagged, and I successfully contested them. I was then terminated anyway weeks later. In the case of bai-xue-lives2, none of my posts were ever flagged, and it was terminated today without warning or explanation. 

Tell me, how am I to avoid being terminated again if I follow the rules and still get falsely reported by trolls anyway? I'm sure you can understand that I now find it very hard to trust that your staff will actually look into the reports, because despite following the rules I have still been repeatedly punished despite the fact that I'm the one being bullied by those falsely reporting me. 

As I said above, I am quite willing to send in any form of identification you need to ensure that my blog will not be terminated due to false reports again. I am genuinely concerned that someone with a grudge, possibly a disgruntled ex of mine, has been abusing the report function in order to get me repeatedly terminated. I have no doubt that this will continue unless I have some form of insurance that I can be safe from false accusations. 

As I have said before, these repeated terminations have cost me the fruits of the small part time art career that I spent over seven years building on tumblr. I like tumblr. I want to continue using it. But how am I to do so with any confidence, when I follow the rules and still get punished? 

I have sought every avenue of help that I can and received no answer for seven months. Today was the first time anyone ever answered me, but it has only been with rote suggestions that I have already tried.

Please help me. I want to be able to use your site with the confidence that I will not be punished for something I didn't do, and the assurance that the people who dislike me will not be able to use your report function to act out petty grudges. Please, I will do whatever is necessary to have this assurance. 

Karen

July 19, 7:57 AM GMT

Tumblr Support (”Carmen N.”) to Me

Hello Karen,

Thanks for following up.

I can assure you that every reported blog is verified by another department of our company which is carefully reviewing all your content. If you get suspended you receive an email in which the reasons for your suspension are mentioned.

As long as you stick to our Community Guidelines while posting, there shouldn't be any problem.

Please let me know if you have any questions.

Have a nice day!

Carmen N Tumblr Community Support

July 19, 10:18 AM GMT

Me to Tumblr Support (”Carmen N.”)

Hi Carmen,

I am afraid that is very much untrue. When my blog bai-xue-lives was terminated, I received an email from your team accusing me of posting ch*ld p*rn*graphy, something which I have never done and which I consider a very serious accusation. When I asked for proof, I received none.

In the case of my most recent termination, I received no email whatsoever, and I was not "suspended," as you put it. My blog simply disappeared with no explanation, after I had broken no rules. No posts had been flagged, no warnings had been given. I had not even been on that account for a month (June 28-July 18).

Again, I ask you: how am I to continue to use your service when it is quite clear that I can be terminated at any minute, without warning, even when I have broken no rules? 

Karen

[Attached: The June 28 email sent to me when my blog bai-xue-lives got terminated, which accuses me of “inappropriate content involving minors” and “the possession and distribution of ch*ld p*rn*graphy” (censored for anti-bot safety purposes).]

[cindylouwho-2]

RECENT NEWS, RESOURCES & STUDIES, mid July to August, 2019

Welcome to my latest summary of recent news, resources & studies including search, analytics, content marketing, social media & ecommerce! This covers articles I came across from July 14 to August 24, although some may be older than that.

Tumblr has not been saving all of my drafts correctly, which has led to me rewriting some of this post more than once. (I’m now going to be compiling it elsewhere & pasting it here when done, to avoid this issue in the future.) That, a heavy workload, and some vacation time delayed & truncated this report. 

But the good news is I am now on a more consistent schedule, with more time to read and write. I expect to be getting this back to 3 times a month very soon. 

Are there types of news you would like to see here? Please let me know! Leave a comment below, email me through my website, or send me a message on Twitter.

TOP NEWS & ARTICLES

The priority placement is US search for items that ship free has been around for nearly 4 weeks, and doesn’t seem as disruptive as some feared. Etsy is conscious that non-US sellers are particularly upset about this, and have therefore published a list of things they are doing to help international sellers. (note that most of those things also help US sellers that ship to other countries, 

Etsy’s 2nd quarter results came out on August 1. Everything was up, but not quite as much as some experts predicted, so the stock is down quite a bit. The big announcement was that Etsy will be combining Promoted Listings & Google Shopping ads bought by sellers into Etsy Ads. They are supposed to launch in August, but I have yet to hear of any seller who thought this was a good idea.

3.5 million people worldwide use at least one social media platform. (That’s 46% of the planet’s population.) And more than half of the planet  - over 4 billion people - watch videos online. “[H]alf of all internet users below the age of 35″ use voice to operate their devices, with 43% of internet users worldwide using voice at least occasionally. 

SEO isn’t enough; you are going to have to spend money to be seen, if you don’t already “The last 18 years have been an anomaly. Twenty years ago, if a brand couldn't afford to pay for a newspaper or a radio ad, the media company didn't give the company time to publish a public service announcement. SEO allowed companies to go through a period where they received free listings on search engines like Google and Bing. Sending people to a brand's website is like getting a free television or radio commercial or newspaper ad or billboard at the baseball park in 1984″

Trend watch: both clothing retailers and makeup companies are seeing a drop in sales as their markets shrink. If you sell either, you will want to read both articles, as there are some parallels between the two areas in regard to what is and is not working. 

ETSY NEWS

Etsy purchased musical gear website Reverb for $275 million; it will continue to run separate from Etsy. Etsy stock went up at the time. This is notable because Etsy hasn’t bought much lately; it looks like they are slowly dialing back the panic mode, single-goal approach. Their business acumen has disappointed one commentator [humour].

Etsy is “improving” Etsy shop stats. (Note that the Google Shopping category is apparently for the ads you buy yourself only, not the ones Etsy buys, so you will need to use Google Analytics to look at those hits for the moment.) This seems to be leading up to the launch of Etsy Ads (see above).

Here’s some coverage of Etsy changes in the past few years (not a lot new, with some errors). 

Etsy seems to be ramping up its monitoring of seller customer service factors, as more people are receiving email notifications that their shops are falling below Etsy’s customer service expectations. I expect that any updates in this area might involve the new chat convo thingy: Convos are changing to live chat threads, which you cannot write more than one paragraph for because hitting return sends the message. It’s a mess. (Please forgive my frustration; I’ve already had to deal with over 40 separate convos from one buyer alone.)

There will be a site-wide Labour Day sale August 30-September 2, which Etsy will apparently be promoting. 

Fall fashion trends as promoted by Etsy: apparently silk scarves are in, for all sorts of uses. They also released their holiday trend report (pdf file), which I will summarize next week if I can find the time. It’s worth a look, because they divulge some top search data. You can also listen to the podcast, or read the podcast transcript. 

This article on tiered pricing and increasing your average order value is geared towards people using the $35 free shipping guarantee, but it is also useful for anyone wanting their customers to buy more from them. 

Staff will be using the Etsy Success section of the forum to post weekly tips called “Etsy Insights”. So far, they have been posting each week’s thread in that announcement post, so it is easy to skim and see if any topics are relevant for you. 

They are also asking members to sign up for more research surveys; so far, I am finding it pretty boring, and all of the content on their “hub” page is over a year old. 

The expansion into India saw their domestic listings more than double last year. Free workshops have helped bring many new sellers aboard. 

SEO: GOOGLE & OTHER SEARCH ENGINES

Google’s John Mu, who does SEO outreach & education, reminds us that “LSI keywords” are not actually a thing. (LSI was a computer method to figure out relationships between words back in the 1980s; no search engine today is using it, as they have real search data on how people relate words to each other, and it just doesn’t give any insight into modern search technology.)

You don’t need tons of backlinks, but you do need good ones. And linking out on your own site is a good idea in many cases [video], as long as it serves your readers. 

Using images that show up on many different web pages can harm your SEO. They used stock photos that showed up on hundreds of pages for this experiment, so it is not likely that using your own image on 5 sites, for example, would be a problem. 

It looks like there was a fairly significant Google update around July 18th; there’s a bit more coverage here. The last 3 large Google updates are summarized & analyzed here. 

Google then released a blog post explaining their core updates and what you should do if you are negatively affected by one. They linked to several SEO websites explaining Google’s concept “E-A-T” (Expertise, Authoritativeness and Trustworthiness), which is particularly important if you produce blog posts or educational materials.  

Less than half of Google searches now lead to a click on a website result, at least on desktop. Mobile Google searches overwhelmingly do not result in traffic to a website any more. (Note: as I always remind people, the data from these types of studies is always a bit suspect, because they only have a slice of the data, but the provider here probably has the biggest slice worldwide. 

Do you do some simple coding on your website or blog? You will find this beginners’ guide to canonical tags and the different uses of redirects and canonical tags [video & transcript] very helpful. If you are a bit more advanced than that, here’s a good guide to meta tags. 

CONTENT MARKETING & SOCIAL MEDIA (includes blogging & emails)

Hubspot puts out a lot of good digital marketing guides; check out their “Ultimate Guide to Content Distribution”. Also, they covered how to write a great (& SEO-effective) blog headline, with examples. 

Some stats on current social media usage [infographic]. 

Verizon sold Tumblr to Wordpress owner Automattic. 

Snapchat users continue to increase, as does revenue. They still aren’t profitable, but didn’t expect to be yet. 

Not getting enough traffic on Facebook? Here’s how to get seen by more people there. 

There are ways to optimize your LinkedIn profile to get more sales.

How to get valuable Twitter followers, that is, not bots. (They use Etsy as an example of a well-optimized Twitter profile.) 

ONLINE ADVERTISING (SEARCH ENGINES, SOCIAL MEDIA, & OTHERS)

Amazon is making advertising an even bigger slice of its income. 

Digital ad spending is continuing to increase in most areas.

Facebook is expanding its search ads to more businesses; it’s not really clear how it all works, though. The ads must also run as news feed ads. Here are some basic tips on how to get the most out of Facebook’s ad algorithm. 

With Etsy possibly ending the free Google Shopping ads it currently buys for us (see the Etsy Ads announcement above), this might be a good time to look into buying Google Shopping ads for your website; here is your complete guide to setting them up. 

More changes to regular Google ads mean less control for the business buying ads, meaning that exact match phrases are no longer even close. “Google says 15% of its daily searches are new — and advertisers will miss out on these new queries if matching is too tightly controlled. Its machine learning systems, the company says, can infer intent and spare advertisers from creating exhaustive keyword lists in order to get their ads to trigger on relevant queries.”

If you are thinking about paying for ads on Pinterest, you will want to read this starter guide. 

Twitter video ads now have an option to not pay for a click unless people view at least 6 seconds of the video. 

STATS, DATA, OTHER TRACKING

How to use Instagram Analytics to boost your business. (That is written for companies that are larger than most Etsy shops, but there is plenty of good material there.)

ECOMMERCE NEWS, IDEAS, TRENDS

eBay beat earnings expectations in the second quarter. 

Amazon had higher than expected sales but lower than expected earnings in the second quarter. They keep thriving despite low profits margins because they have a massive cash flow. 

Alibaba reported higher than expected revenue and profit for its first quarter ending June 30th. 

Amazon sales on Prime Day (July 15-16, actually 2 days) were greater than last year’s Black Friday & Cyber Monday combined, and also signed up more new Prime members on each than ever before. Other websites also saw a big boost, especially for electronics. 

Amazon forced to amend its seller policies worldwide following German legal action. As of August 16, they will give 30 days notice for standard account cancellations. 

And they have expanded their robot deliveries (still followed by humans, though!)

BUSINESS & CONSUMER STUDIES, STATS & REPORTS; SOCIOLOGY & PSYCHOLOGY, CUSTOMER SERVICE

While buyers do love free shipping, nearly half of US consumers surveyed will choose to pay for shipping in certain circumstances, most commonly when they really want the product. Only 11% said they never buy unless shipping is free. 

When you are trying to sell something, and especially if you want a repeat buyer, make sure you are pitching it to the right target market. For example, people who don’t want to spend a lot of money won’t buy things they can get for free elsewhere. Provide value for the right people. (A lot of this article is pitched at entrepreneurs selling classes and events, not tangible products, but I think there is a lot of value in the explanations.)

MISCELLANEOUS

WordPress is one of the most popular ways to set up your own website; here’s a beginner’s guide to getting started. 

Google beat earnings expectations in the second quarter. Ad revenue was up a lot. Microsoft also had a better-than-expected quarter, but the growth of their search ads and of LinkedIn (which they own) has slowed. 

How to choose colours that will work together well. 

There is a lot of research on productivity; here are 10 things you can do to get more done. 

If you use Chrome, you could really use these Chrome keyboard shortcuts. 

[deadskepticfiles]

THE DREAMING PROPHET, EPISODE ONE [Transcript]

LAVANYA Good morning, Red Acre! And welcome to your favorite nighttime show, the Dreaming Prophet. Now, they may have taken away our phones, and they may have taken away our computers, and they may have taken away that coveted one hour of subliminal messaging that passes as television here.

  LAVANYA But do you know what they haven't taken away? The shitty radios in the garage, which is exactly what we're using right now to bring this especially to you, because we're just that fucking dedicated dedicated to you. You're welcome. Now, my name is Lavanya --.

  ASTRO And I'm Astro, and we'll be your hosts for tonight!

  LAVANYA So make sure you have fun~.

  LAVANYA First of all. We're gonna start off this podcast with a quick explanation of what it is. If you want to do the honors Astro?

  ASTRO Yes. This is a "The Blackout Club" podcast for Blackout Club players, and we'll talk about what that means after we wrap up with our intro. But the basics are that this podcast focuses only on the facts. All lore, no speculation.

  LAVANYA Even though we love speculation.

  ASTRO We do. We love speculation. But we want to provide solid facts for other players use in their own speculation, so we'll try to keep ours to a minimum. We begin each show with a spoiler warning, and a content warning, because this game does deal with some heavy topics. And we will go right into that now.

  LAVANYA Our general content warning for this podcast is that there will be discussion of children being harmed, and children being injured! Nothing in depth, but that is kind of part of the premise of the game, as well as general horror themes.

  ASTRO And as a blanket warning, please keep in mind that the Dreaming Prophet will not be spoiler free. If you really want to experience the game to its fullest, play it yourself, don't listen.

 [Music cue: Sleepers playing strings]

ASTRO If you haven't heard of The Blackout Club game, go ahead and check out WWW.BLACKOUTCLUBGAME.COM.

  ASTRO And there's a lot of info on that page, but I'll read off a little bit. The premise of the game is that you are a child in this suburban town, Red Acre. And you are recording evidence of the strange things that are going on, to try to tell the world about this cult that's taken over everyone - including you, including your parents.

ASTRO When you close your eyes, you get possessed by a god, and so does everyone else in the town. It’s called “blacking out,” and it causes people to sleepwalk, and then wake up with dirt and blood on them, and trails that lead through their houses. Or they may not even wake up in their bed at all. They may wake up outside of town. They may wake up on train tracks. Kids in the Blackout Club are trying to record what’s happening in their town, to hopefully stop it, and they’re also trying to protect their own while they do it. Because as they’ve found out, the organizations behind this phenomenon - the god, Speak-As-One; the organization, CHORUS - They don’t want anyone to know what’s going on in Redacre, and they certainly don’t want it to stop.

[Music cue: Stalker switch]

  LAVANYA The Blackout Club is primarily a multiplayer game, but there are parts of it that are single player. As of right now, there are no plans for single player missions, but we do have the prologue! The Prologue basically involves you, instead of playing your own individual character, you are playing Bells, who is a young woman 14, about to be 15 in three months, if I recall correctly. And she is trying to figure out a way to leave Red Acre!

  BELLS V/O OK, recording... I think... Hi. It’s Bells - Isabella. If you’ve done your homework, you probably know I live in the Radio Quiet Zone. We have no cell signal here, no internet - Nothing. So no one knows what’s happening to us. At night, our town - [stuttering] - it changes. We like, wake up in the woods, or on train tracks, no idea how we got there. If you tell an adult, they just laugh it off, and most folks my age - well, they’re cowards.

BELLS V/O But - so last night, I set up a hidden camera, and I finally got proof. Stuff the world needs to see. The video’s all on this thumb drive, and tomorrow, I’m gonna take Mom’s car, and sneak it far enough out of town to finally get online. To reach you. When you see this, come to Redacre. Help us. Please. Um, thank you.

  LAVANYA OK. So that exciting clip is a line directly from the prologue of the Blackout Club, the single player mission. What we heard there was Bells explaining the basic premise of the game. I personally feel it's important for most players to try to play it, because it sets up the basic themes of the game.

  LAVANYA The basic themes of the game are friendship and also psychological terror. What Belles keeps having emphasized to her throughout the prologue is that she cannot trust anything that she sees or anything that she hears. She's seeing a strange shape that is pursuing her and trying to maybe kill her, maybe mind meld with her, throughout the prologue. The game will instantly end if you're caught by it.

  LAVANYA She's getting mysterious voices in her head: two different ones that are speaking to her and trying to guide her through this to safety. And she's realizing that: are her parents are on this conspiracy that she's discovered prior to the start of the game, or is literally everyone in town?

  LAVANYA She cannot trust anyone in the town and she cannot even trust herself. As is shown by the ending of the prologue, when the voices lead her all the way to the boxcar, and then she is dragged away.

  LAVANYA So, it's kind of a good summary for the overall game, because the children face the same issues during the multiplayer game play as well. You can't trust the adults. You can't trust the other children who might be following opposing Daimons, and you certainly can't trust yourself, because the game keeps empathizing, every time you close your eyes - every time you black out in game - you're being possessed.

  LAVANYA So the only people that you can trust actually are your friends. The player characters operate in missions of up to three other players, all of whom are bound together by friendship, trust, and the knowledge that they are working together to succeed in taking down CHORUS. Bells is betrayed by her parents in the prologue, and she is potentially betrayed by the voices as well. The player character, any time that you play with stalker enabled, is betrayed by the stalker, who is someone in the Blackout Club that is working for SAO instead of the kids. So, when you can't even trust yourself, the only people that you can rely on are the friends that you choose to surround yourself with - which is one of the biggest themes of the game.

  [Music cue: Stalker switch]

ASTRO The prologue, in addition to introducing you to this story, also introduces you to a lot of the core gameplay, which we'll go over here.

  ASTRO You have two different things that you can see. When your eyes are open, you can see the overworld, you can see the adults walking around sleepwalking or not, and you can see the houses and everything else around you.

  ASTRO When you close your eyes, you can see the Shape, you can see footsteps that are guiding you to your next objective, and you can see secret messages that may be hidden somewhere in the map. Among other things, there are several new things that have been cropping up lately, so it's always a good idea to close your eyes every so often, and see what's out there.

  LAVANYA Exactly! Because sometimes it's secret messages, sometimes it's just secret marks that, when you look at them with your eyes open, they just look like scuffs on the ground - and when you close your eyes, they're glowing in red!

 LAVANYA We're going gonna do a quick breakdown of all the basic items in the game. The way that the items are set up in game is that you have two classifications of items, basically.

LAVANYA You have the hero items, and then you have the standard normal items that you use and then they'll be terminated from your inventory. Let's start off with the hero items. Hero items are controversial! They are a controversial part of the fandom, because everyone has their specific favorite and everyone will talk shit about others. Which one you take ultimately just depends on how you feel and what your gameplay style is, because this will change the way you play the game pretty significantly.

LAVANYA So with the hero items, we have three hero items. First off, we have the Taser which is, to quote the game, “a close range stun gun. It requires time to recharge after every use and is not for use by children.” Luckily, we're not children in game. We're 14, going on fifteen in three months. Perfectly safe for us to use!

LAVANYA The way that the Taser works is: it is an item and it is an escape item, basically, that will recharge over time. So if a lucid or a sleeper grabs you,  then you'll be able to automatically tase them as long as you have a charge on your taser and be able to escape from them. It traps them for about three to four seconds in a loop of electricity.

LAVANYA If you have a Stalker in game, you can also tase them. If you have a friend who is shaped in-game, and thus wandering around spouting off voice lines about being asleep, you can also tase them. I don't know why you would, but that option is there!

LAVANYA The second hero item is the grappling hook. The description for the grappling hook is: “will stick to walls and ceilings, and lower a climbable rope.” So it's pretty straightforward! What the grappling hook does is basically it increases your mobility in a game that is already so heavily focused on movement.

LAVANYA With a grappling hook, you don't have to jump up places. You can throw your hook and you can hop right onto it and climb up. I would say it extends about 15 to 20 feet down.

ASTRO On average, it's about two stories. So if you are three stories above something, [you] will have a steep drop, but it'll be less fall damage than if you fell from the full height.

LAVANYA Exactly. And the grappling hook - most places in the game, you'll be able to get with the grappling hook, or else you'll be able to get as long as you and a friend have a grappling hook. Most of the tunnels that connect the rooms in the underground and most of, like, the major shorter cliffs, like Hoadly's Leap, in the first two areas, you can climb up that with a single grappling hook. So it's pretty useful if you want to increase your mobility.

LAVANYA It's by no means required. You can get anywhere that you would get with a grappling hook without a grappling hook, it may just take longer.

LAVANYA The last hero item is the crossbow which says, “modified from an old history project to fire tranquilizer darts with pretty decent accuracy.” Because Red Acre plays history rough, I guess. In a lot of ways, the crossbow is possibly one of the most powerful items in game so long as you have tranquilizer darts. So if you are willing to drop the snacks to buy tranquilizer dart at the beginning of each game, what this does is it means that anyone within - I would probably say, 60 meters or so - as long as you have your crossbow cursor aiming at them, you will be able to shoot them.

LAVANYA You can shoot and tranquilize tranquilize a Lucid from about two houses, down as of June 6th, 2019. This may get changed after we say that. [laughter]

LAVANYA Honestly, the crossbow is my favorite item, when I'm not scampering around the walls like a fucking aye-aye. Because you can use it to take down Lucids. You can use it to take down drones - not the large ones that fly overhead, but the other player drones, if you just want to be horrible for some reason.  You can take it to take down sound mines. You can use it to.. I think that's about it, actually.

LAVANYA So, maybe technically, it doesn't have a lot of use? But it has a lot of use in my heart. I love the crossbow. We have a very special relationship.

ASTRO It's not versatile, but it is useful.

LAVANYA Exactly. It is useful and if you have stalkers in your game you can absolutely buy a ton of tranq darts and load that motherfucker up.

ASTRO The hero items will become obvious to you when you're in the boxcar.  There is a table that has all three of them laid out in a row. And, strictly in my opinion, they're in the order of difficulty.

ASTRO  If you're a new player - if you have just picked up the game - the taser is going to be your best friend as you try to learn how to navigate and how to get out of these scrapes. The taser is your second chance.

ASTRO The grappling hook helps you explore more after you understand parts of the map; after you start getting on your own two feet.

ASTRO And the crossbow, I feel, is extremely difficult to master, but once you do have mastery of it, it is so helpful to everything that you do.

LAVANYA It really is. It takes a minute to master it [the grappling hook] because the walls are not always smooth in the areas in which the grappling hook can actually successfully land are not always straight-cut.

LAVANYA I've been using the grappling hook for three months now, and I still sometimes hit spots where I throw it, it should land and instead it ricochets off the walls. [laughter] Because early access! But once you get the hang of it and you have a general idea for what the grappling hook looks like when it will be able to actually drop down, it is absolutely wonderful.

LAVANYA So now we're just going to cover the in-game items real quick which are largely self-explanatory.

LAVANYA The first of the in-game items is the bandage! The bandage is basically: you can find this in chests, you can start off the game with this if you have the Medic perk, and you can buy them from the snack machines or from the firework vendors in game. What it does is it will heal about one third of your stamina. So if you've taken a wound by falling off a cliff, being grabbed by a lucid, or being fucked up by a stalker, it's here for you. You can bandage yourself or else you can be bandaged by another player, too, which is always useful.

LAVANYA Second up is the energy bar, which is often having debates involving it on the various Discords over whether or not it is OP. Because the energy bar will briefly top off your complete stamina bar, so you have endless energy, and more importantly you will do not get staggered when you fall. So you can jump off as high of a cliff as you want, and when you hit the bottom, as long as you had an energy bar on the way, you will be able to still keep running with no interruption.

LAVANYA Third up is the flash bang, which - it is an escape item. It is a military flash bang, which - we are not asking how these fucking children found this in Red Acre. Red ACre is just stocked the fuck up. What it does is you can throw it and you can blind enemies - in what I'd probably say is a six foot radius around where it lands? - And it will also stun the Shape. It will also make the screen flash white for any players around, but it won't stun them the way it will for, like, Stalkers, which is always nice.

LAVANYA Third up is the noisemaker. It's little fireworks. When you toss them, it will create a ton of noise, and it will attract any lucids or sleepers who are not presently engaged over to it. So it's a very useful method of crowd control in a game that does not necessarily have crowd control. It also seems like it may be one of the most common drops because you will usually have a noisemaker in your games.

LAVANYA Foam grenade.. basically, whether or not its OP, like with the flash bang grenade, is a pretty big topic of discussion in some parts of the community. Because a foam grenade, once you thought it will create a puddle of foam - hyper absorbent foam! - on the ground. When you land on that, it will produce no fall damage. If you walk on it, it will have no noise. It will disable cameras temporarily if you throw it at it. It will disable sound mines and proximity mines permanently if you throw them on it. And anyone who walks through it will start producing footprints you can see exactly where they go. In addition to that, if you throw it at the Shape, it will stun the Shape very briefly, and it will highlight the Shape, so he'll be covered in foam and you can actually see him with your eyes open.

ASTRO The foam grenade as one of the most versatile items in the game, if not the most versatile item.

LAVANYA Oh I think it's absolutely the most.

ASTRO It's quite genius. I think it's one of the highlights of the blackout club as a game..

LAVANYA It is, it is, because the thing is the foam grenade is one item, and people can use it for about five different gameplay styles. Which is very nice, because I almost never use it to actually make - to reduce noise, I use it as a limited form of crowd control to get Lucids the fuck away from me, as a method to stunning Lucids, and also to ensure that I don't take fall damage, so I never have to stop. [laughter]

LAVANYA The next item is basically, uh, a tranquilizer dart. Unless you are carrying a crossbow, it is melee only. It is an escape item. You can use it when you are grabbed, or else you will have to grab a Lucid in order to use it. Or a Sleeper, or a Stalker. Kids can be tranquilized by Stalkers. It is not a big deal. It will stun you for about 5 seconds, but it is fucking infuriating. Best way to make somebody tilt in zero point five seconds! [laughter]

LAVANYA The sleep trip wire is basically the tranquilizer dart for anyone who plays more stealthily. It will create a trip wire across the ground, and any enemies - whether that's Lucids, Sleepers, or other children - who walk across it, will be stunned. In the case of Lucids and Sleepers, it will knock them the fuck out. You can also set it up for the Shape, and it will stun him temporarily the same that it will do for player characters.

LAVANYA Quick note here! Except for shooting other players’ drones, TBC does not have friendly fire. So you don't have to worry about setting up a sleep tripwire and then fucking over your teammates, because they just won't be affected by it at all.

LAVANYA And the last item is lock picks! The locked areas in game are the chest, doors to the houses, and I do believe that's it. You can also “kick in” anything that is locked instead of unlocking it, at the severe risk of drawing a shit ton of aggro. So, it's another matter of gameplay style.

[Music cue: Stalker switch]

Astro [00:06:58] When you play a mission your character has one of four classes. These are called major powers in the game, and the four major powers at this time are Takedown, Prankcaller, Unstoppable and Drone.

  ASTRO Takedown players are your hand to hand combatants. They are really really good at wrestling with sleepers - with adults - which is something that not all of the kids can do. As a 14 year old, a 15 year old, you don't have the strength or body weight of an adult, but Takedown players have trained themselves to be able to do that to be able to stand a little bit more of a fighting chance. Takedown players can wrestle enemies for themselves or for their friends. If you see a friend in trouble, you can grab an enemy and hold them down and try to decrease the danger in that area.

  LAVANYA Takedown is one of the most uncommon powers for people to take, but honestly it's one of the most useful, because what's more helpful than when somebody is jumping for your friend when they're on low health, than being able to just jump in there and pin them for the rest of the session down to the ground? The Lucid! Don't pin your friends.

  ASTRO Prankcaller is a more stealth focused class. Prankcaller asks you to use your tech know-how to hack into phones and other devices, and disable them for your friends. You can call sleepers at the first level, which distracts them with a spam marketing call while you sneak past them. Sleepers can't see you. They can only hear you and so filling their ears with pyramid schemes will distract them pretty well, unless you make a horribly loud noise.

  ASTRO Unstoppable temporarily makes you invulnerable and gives you extra stamina. Your stamina doesn't deplete when you run or jump. At the first level, you have about 10 seconds to do whatever you want and get the hell out of dodge.

  LAVANYA And, my god, you can do anything you want. Fall damage: no. Lucids: no. Sleepers: no. Speedmines: they will fucking destroy you, don't do those. But anything else!

  ASTRO So this is really, really good if you are a player who tends to get yourself in a bunch of bad situations and needs to run very, very fast. Also interesting: Unstoppable recharges when you take damage. If you end up in a lot of scrapes, that will eventually help you down the road.

  LAVANYA Exactly. And if you like going places and you like going to them fast, Unstoppable is an excellent power - but you have to keep in mind when Unstoppable runs out, you will have to take a ton of damage in order to turn it back on. So don't race into danger, race across the map, separate yourself from your team, and then start crying when your unstoppable is gone. That's the classic mistake.

  ASTRO And the last class is Drone. Drone players have a secondary player character, if you want, which is this drone. It's a stolen drone from the cult that you've managed to jury rig into your own device. Drones are a remote camera that you can send around the map within a limited range from yourself that can see other things and at higher levels can perform actions such as recording or tasering. Drone players are able to look around corners and scout out inside houses and rooms without actually going there and putting themselves in danger.

  LAVANYA Yes. If your drone touches anyone, then it will, like, fucking die? But the good news is you can either send your friend over - your friend with Unstoppable - Make sure your team is well-varied! - into danger to grab your drone off the ground and bring it back to you, or else you can manually fetch your drone. So, it cannot be destroyed permanently, as far as I know.

  ASTRO Now these classes all work well together. Having a well-balanced team helps you because it means that you have access to all of these different powers.

  LAVANYA Exactly.

  ASTRO But it's by no means required for you to have one of every single type. I think that's a really nice feature of the game, which is that you can have whatever team composition you want. If you have one take down and three unstoppable, that will still help you a lot.

  LAVANYA Exactly. I will clarify: if you have four drone users, you may have a little bit more of a rough time, but you just have to take it steady and slow. And also have a designated victim who has to collect your drones back.

  ASTRO Now the minor powers get a little bit more complicated. There are six of them right now. They are Locksmith, Atlas, Improved Stamina, Lucky Loot, Medic and Nutritionist. Most of these will give you an extra item. Locksmith, Medic and Nutritionist will all give you various items at the beginning of the game to help you out, which are, respectively, a lock pick, a bandage, and a energy bar.

  ASTRO So if you happen to be the type to use those items a lot. Those are definitely minor powers to look into. Atlas allows you to run while carrying bodies. This won't impact the noise made from carrying bodies, but it will allow you to move quicker while you're carrying them.

  LAVANYA There isn't much practical use for carrying bodies unless you want to be a sociopath and dump them off the cliffs or something. That's not advisable. Don't kill your grandma.

  ASTRO Bodies can be discovered and if you happen to be in a tight spot and you need to hide a body, Atlas is a great power to help you book it.

  ASTRO Improved Stamina gives you 10 percent more stamina than what you start with. Again, super useful if you want to run a little bit, but maybe you aren't into the idea of the whole Unstoppable power. Improved Stamina can get you a little further. The description for Improved Stamina also says it can be used to rush skills as well as movement. They mentioned lock picking and hacking like in the Prankcaller power. I don't know how true that is. I've tried rushing lock picking and I think it speeds up a little bit, but this is not necessarily true.

  LAVANYA The truth of the Deck is whatever you believe will become true. If you just believe that you're lock picking a little bit faster, I'm sure it's 100 percent working as the devs intend.

  ASTRO And the last minor power we'll cover is Lucky Loot. Lucky Loot will sometimes grant you a second copy of whatever item you pick up. Extremely useful in all cases. Honestly, Lucky Loot players are an asset to every team.

  LAVANYA They really are. Lucky Loot can sometimes be the absolute difference between acing a level, and crashing and burning after a Stalker throws a foam grenade in your face. You will semi-frequently end up with doubled lock picks, doubled flash bangs, and everything else. And even with the ability to buy flash bangs and tranqs and bandages and candy bars with the little fireworks machines now, that can make a ton of difference. As far as I know, you do not get Lucky Loot when you purchase goods, though, you're just out of luck there.

 [Music cue: Stalker switch]

ASTRO So, as mentioned in the prologue, the core premise of the game deals with this idea of gathering evidence of what's happening in your town and hoping to eventually take it out of the town. And in the game, you do this quite a lot.

  ASTRO There are some missions that will require you to record things. There are also things called bonus evidence which are scattered around the map. When you go into your pause menu, you can see how many pieces of bonus evidence you have in any specific game. It can be anywhere from three pieces to possibly 14 pieces and maybe more. As your map expands, you have the opportunity to find more bonus evidence, but it will also be scattered further. You'll have to travel more to find it. And each piece of bonus evidence that you get will give you more XP, and it will also unlock journal entries for you to read in the boxcar.

  ASTRO These pieces of bonus evidence can be various things. You will know them, because they will prompt you to record them by having a little bit of TV static and a slight green haze on them. They can be posters. They can be suitcases. They can be -

  LAVANYA They can be creepy duffel bags full of mail. Depending on the mission, sometimes the bonus evidence will be things like pages from confidential files that you can kind of, but not quite, read. Or else they'll be bloodied up furniture, or blood stains on the ground that you have to clean up. It really just depends on what type of game you're in at that point!

  ASTRO Yes. So if you happen to see that TV static effect - if you happen to see that green haze - take out your phone record whatever it is. Ultimately it can only help you.

[Music cue: Stalker switch]

  ASTRO As if we couldn't have more things to do in our games - in addition to the main missions, the bonus evidence, just listening to the different enemy voice lines to get lore - there is another objective that you can complete throughout many missions, which we might call a fragment quest.

  ASTRO There is a Daimon of this game called Thee-I-Dare, and Thee-I-Dare was fragmented. He was shattered. And because of that shattering event, various parts of his name are scattered around the map. They appear as small bits of fog against a wall, or in a specific area, and you can collect them by turning on your flashlight, aiming it at the spot, and closing your eyes.

  ASTRO This does make you more visible, so it's not something you should do in a risky situation, but collecting these named fragments allows you to choose how to use them. You can return them to Thee-I-Dare, or you could turn them over to Speak-As-One to be burned. There are no in-game mechanics for this. However, when you interact with those Daimons, you can choose what you'd like to do.

  LAVANYA Personally, I was going to do this fragment section, but someone banned me from it - [laughter] - on account of the fact I keep burning mine! But if you want to burn them, the way you do that is you light up a Light of Rebellion, one of the reward items you can get from the chest, and you just send off a prayer. And you're like, hey, Speak as One, I want you to know - here's some fragments for burning!

  ASTRO Fragments will appear once in a while. And if you spy a fragment in one place but you can't retrieve it at that time, your next fragment will always appear in that place until you collect it.

 [Music cue: Stalker switch]

LAVANYA So as your resident Speak-as-One stan, I'm going to cover the next game mode, which is possibly the most important game mode that you will ever play. Fuck the main missions, because this is what we're placed on this Earth for.

  LAVANYA So, Stalker Mode was introduced in Update 5, which was phrased ENTER THE STALKER. Basically, in order to access the Stalker mode, you'll need to gain one Dossier, and then enter into the Stalker van, and select a mission to stalk.

  LAVANYA The stalker is the player antagonist of the game. Basically your mission is not to make the team of children wipe, but to increase the spookiness of their playing experience, by not getting caught, filming them, and attracting enemies to them. You're trying to make the game harder and you're trying to freak them out. It's a lot of fun. The responses and reactions you can get from the player characters is always fucking amazing. So you'll be playing one versus two at the very minimum, because in order for a Stalker to arrive in a game, it has to have two players at the very least. Often you'll end up in a fourstack, so it'll be you versus four players.

  LAVANYA Again your goal in this game mode is not to wipe the player characters. You will almost never be able to wipe the player characters. But! It is to just make it more difficult for them. And usually if people see a stalker is in the game, they will derail everything and become dedicated to hunting you down like a fucking dog. So it's a lot of fun for everyone involved! Like a really sadistic game of tag!

  ASTRO It should be noted that when you begin the stalker mode, there is explanation text on the screen that starts with you will be caught. This stalker adds atmosphere, adds danger, but they are not the protagonist of the Blackout Club. The club kids for which the game is named are the protagonists of the game.

  LAVANYA And It's important to note that that if you wipe the kids, you will get your dossier back, the only way that you can get points is keeping them alive to farm them for interactions with the lucids or for proof of their crimes. You get points and you reach the top with the Stalker leadership board, which can reward you either a jacket or a shirt, through recording and interacting with the kids. The goal is not, which can never be stated enough, to wipe them wipe the entire party. The mode is ultimately about encouraging interaction.

  ASTRO Maybe the real winning was the friends we made along the way.

LAVANYA Yes. Maybe the real winning is the friends we made along the way. And the real purpose of the stalker mode is learning the beauty of the enemys to bff-les for life. Don't hunt down your stalker like a dog and tie them up to sacrifice In-Her-Teeth. Bring them home for hot cocoa and a blanket.

[Music cue: Stalker Switch]

ASTRO So if you are a player from the Blackout Club, you may have listened to this episode and thought to yourself - I already know all of this! What is this podcast of use to me? The reason we’re making this episode is to catch everyone up to the same point. From here on out, we'll be moving on and talking about new things, we’ll be talking about things more in depth, that you may not have thought about before. Or maybe you did!

LAVANYA Exactly. And it's always important to note - we're starting off these first few podcasts with an introductory to the game series and everything in it, partially because so many players in game have no fucking idea what's going on. They don't know how the Lucids are alerted, they don't necessarily know what the storyline is, they don't understand [Enhanced] Horror Mode.

ASTRO The learning curve of the Blackout Club is very steep, and that isn't a bad part of the game..

LAVANYA But it can be very frustrating!

ASTRO It can be very frustrating, but ultimately, it requires you to rely on your friends, which is the core of the game, and you learn together. This podcast is a small way to help that learning curve, and to help individual players learn the language and the playstyle of the game, so they can become better, and pass on more information.

LAVANYA And this podcast is also about ensuring that we can become not only your friends, but your best friends. Your truest, closest friends. WE SPEAK AS ONE.

ASTRO Oh my god. I can't believe you used me for advertising!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

CREDITS:

The Blackout Club is made by Question Games. Our fact-checker is Be11amy. Our transcript is by Lavanya. Audio editing is by me, Astro. Xaviul is a henway.

[goldenrosetea]

VERY IMPORTANT PSA

rewatching bits of the sh#ne d##son doc on j##e p##l cause I need background noise (I literally don’t give two shits about what I’m watching I just need noise rn to work) and I realize now that---the psychologist in the second part? she ain’t doin so hot on her part of being a psychologist.

tldr; (for those who need it), kati morton, a registered marriage and family therapist who specializes in eating disorders and self-harming behaviors, is spreading false information about people with Antisocial Personality Disorder, showing inappropriate behavior toward said people with said cluster b personality disorder, and is generally not being a good psychologist on her part about it. Here’s a video I found that can basically sum up everything I just described down below: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KLF2jhzpEII

[MORE UNDER THE CUT, sorry mobile users]

A lovely comment I found in the comments section caught my attention while browsing through quickly:

[TRANSCRIPTION: Juman Al Balushi commented: The psychologist gives me weird vibes. If this was my therapist I’ll actually run for my life especially the way she lacks empathy for people with mental disorder. She called people who are damaged genetically icky...Psychologists are supposed to bring awareness and not scare people away from their mental health issues. I really wish someone would actually evaluate her and her license. I really can’t at all stand her talking. I’m off this video.]

and you know? this person is correct. She’s very blank when she’s talking about the subject at hand, and she does say a few times how people with ASPD (antisocial personality disorder), specifically those who are sociopaths, are ‘icky’ and that they give her ‘the creeps’, going so far as to say she needs to take a shower after thinking about it (another quote noted out is how she said “It makes you kinda feel bad for them but not really”). That’s not good behavior to instantly suggest/implant to someone learning about sociopath’s/ASPD, ESPECIALLY since the whole purpose behind being a therapist/psychologist is to help bring awareness to mental illnesses and to comfort and help people with them to not be afraid of them, this will only make them MORE afraid of people with ASPD instead of wanting to learn more about them and how the disorder affects them personally. Sh#ne didn’t do that much of a good job either in the video, as he was paranoid about if his friends/himself/random strangers/youtubers/etc. were sociopaths and that he ‘can’t trust anyone around him’ because of it. THAT is bad stigma, as not all people with ASPD (the vast majority I’ll say) are like that and are just trying to be normal people in society but that’s a different matter entirely that I won’t go into detail about at this time. Another comment also helped prove this point further:

[TRANSCRIPTION: part of a comment from DEF. inately Floozy states: What she is describing with such confidence is actually Psychopathy, not Anti-Social Personality Disorder. Furthermore, I am disappointed by her as a clinical psychologist student for inaccurately describing something- she has the DSM 5 right in front of her too--and calling it gross, or scary, or weird. These people cannot control their disorder and it’s highly unprofessional for her to talk down to people who are diagnosed with it.]

Doing a bit of research shows that, yes, she did describe psychopathy instead of ASPD in general/sociopathy (as psychopathy and sociopathy are both subsections of ASPD but are DRASTICALLY different disorders), thus spreading false information and stigma behind ASPD just to make it dramatic for his video. She needs to re-inform herself about what ASPD TRULY is before going around spreading information to a rather large, mostly uninformed crowd (seeing as this video now has well over 20 million views at this point). I’m sad nobody pointed this out sooner (as far as I could see, I could be very wrong I’m sorry!!). Here’s what antisocial personality disorder REALLY is (this comes from the DSM 5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual) itself):

If you wish to read up more on ASPD, as there is a lot of information that I cannot link here bc of length purposes, here’s the entire section from the version of the DSM 5 I found on archive.org: https://archive.org/details/2013-DSM-5/page/n689

this psychologist, who’s name is kati morton, shouldn’t be going about the internet spreading false information about a mental illness like this, when she can’t even fact check herself. She made a full video about ASPD (specifically sociopathy) and skimming through it proves that she still doesn’t know what the hell she’s talking about. IMMEDIATELY in the beginning, she says, and I quote “I honestly think we just call people sociopaths or psychopaths because it sounds more ominous than antisocial personality disorder”, and EVEN THEN she goes to say that either term (psychopathy and sociopathy) are interchangeable (they are NOT btw, two different disorders with TOTALLY different symptoms behind them). It’s irritating how many times she’s saying her own opinion on the matter and not even taking the time to double check herself on anything. She isn’t even registered to BE this type of psychologist, she’s a marriage and family therapist that also specializes in eating disorders and self-harming behaviors, so she should just stay in her lane and not try to explain something that she doesn’t even SPECIALIZE in, without consulting other professionals on the subject first or, like I’ve been saying, double-check with other professional and reliable sources before going on about the topic.  These are her credentials (and they change sometimes depending on the site you’re on but this is from her official website):

Please don’t go and bother her about this issue (last thing she needs is a mob going after her personally), but DO say more about it so that she can get more exposure on her inaccuracies and not get as much public attention as she has. We need  better people out there talking about mental health that’s an actual PROFESSIONAL on the topics they’re talking about, and not one that throws inaccuracies to the wind and expects people to accept them as fact.

[castyourpodtothewind]

CYPTTW Review #5 - The Ghost Radio Project

Who the hell are you?! Hi! I’m Taylor and I recently dived headfirst into podcasts! I have since binged on several of them and decided to make reviews of the ones that really stood out. These are not going to be big, professional reviews (I’m lazy) but they should hopefully contain information to help you get into some great new listens!

Where do you listen to your podcasts? My personal recommendation for listening to podcasts is the Pocket Casts app, available for Android or iPhone. It costs $3.99 to buy, but I think it's super worth it, since it has a lot of great features and zero in-app ads, which to me is worth every penny. But if you like free apps or just don't have the scratch right now, my runner up is Podcast Addict. It's free and has some (but not all) of the features Pocket Casts has, plus you have to deal with the ads. But if you don't like either of those, do some searching! There's lots of options out there.

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Name of Podcast: The Ghost Radio Project

Creators of Podcast: Gene Jeter and Dilan Taylor

Genre(s): Dystopian Future, Drama, Humor

Start and End Date of Podcast: August 14th, 2017 - November 7th, 2017 (On Hiatus until 2019/Indefinite)

Number of Episodes: 4 (Episodes will be re-recorded for better quality and re-released when the show FULLY premieres in 2019/Indefinite)

Release Schedule: On Hiatus until 2019/Indefinite

Where Can I Find It: https://ghostradioproject.com/ or check out their official Tumblr page at @ghostradioproject

Donation/Patreon?: The donation page they had up has since stopped working, and I wasn’t able to find one that did. (If anyone knows where it is, PLEASE DM me.)

Age Rating: This show deals with violence, exile from a hostile government and has profanity. R.

Where I Am Now: Caught Up

Official Summary: Nearly a decade after the economic, social, and ecological crisis known as the Collapse, a small group of unauthorized radio broadcasters move together through a post-Capitalism era in the southwestern United States, clinging to one another for survival. Due to the hard-line segregation between civilians living in government-run cities and those who remain outside the system, the region beyond the State's boundaries has become a desolate, impoverished place now called the Outlands by most everyone who tries to make a life there. Together, these pirate radio broadcasters form Ghost Radio, a mobile station carried from one frequency to the next as they make their way through the bright, arid lands of West Texas. Tune in to one of the last propaganda-free radio stations in existence. When you can find it, that is….

Representation?: Pretty much EVERY character on this show is either LGBT (including Non-Binary) or POC, and there’s also Autistic representation too.

Transcripts?: Official transcripts are available, but only for the first two episodes.

Trigger Warnings?: Government Exile, Violence

How Long To Listen Before Giving Up?: It’s only four episodes and they’re SO GOOD. Listen to the whole thing. I mean it.

Anything Else I Should Know?: Please read this post from the creators: https://ghostradioproject.tumblr.com/post/174931529609/friends-thank-you-for-your-patience-over-the-last

If You Like This, You Might Also Like: Alice Isn’t Dead, The Strange Case of Starship Iris, King Falls AM

Pros

This show starts strong and STAYS strong. A+ pilot, immediately gets you interested and makes you crave more. I adore the concept for this show. A bunch of queer, disabled, POC liberal fugitives, exiled from the government for being ‘unwanted’ and spreading the news of the resistance through secret radio channels in an RV in the Texas desert? SIGN ME THE FUCK UP!

All the characters share their unique traits in real life. Autistic character? Autistic actor. Non-Binary character? Non-Binary actor. POC character? POC actor. And this is by studio mandate, they make it explicitly clear that these characters must be these things in real life if they are to be acted that way. And these people live in a deep conservative state where actor choices can be slim, making their choice even more admirable.

The voice acting is INCREDIBLE, and for a low-budget podcast I was blown away by how great the production sounds. They rely solely on donations and money out of their own pockets, making it clear that they never want to have ads on this show. Having a podcast without ads is extremely difficult, so please donate to them when/if it becomes available!

The Ghost Radio Project doesn’t just spread news of the resistance, it also broadcasts the only music channels you can get after the government takeover. The soundtrack to this podcast is so good you won’t want to skip any of it.

Cons

None. I can’t think of a single thing I didn’t like about this podcast. It should be way more popular than it is and I hope everyone joins me in awaiting its full, updated release. 

MY RATING: 10/10 TRANSMITTERS - Holy DAMN this podcast blew me away. I devoured everything that was available and I’m still starving for more, and it breaks my heart that more people haven’t heard about this show. It’s got so much heart and has so many things going for it, and in today’s turbulent times I found it a very cathartic thing to listen to. The resistance needs this podcast. Listen. Survive. Mobilize.

[joemuggs]

KC RULES OK

It’s funny the way memories trigger memories. Just a couple of days after I published this article on folktronica, which tangentially mentioned King Creosote, a new record came out by Andrew Weatherall and Nina Walsh, who made me laugh ridiculously when I interviewed them, which reminded me that the only person who’d made me laugh more in an interview scenario was King Creosote, in this 2005 interview for a now defunct Channel 4 microsite. With Weatherall and Walsh it was the reefer smoke that filled the kitchen that predisposed me to laughing with KC it was pints in a tatty pub in Brixton next to his PRs’ offices, but in both cases they were just funny. This is heavily edited, retrieved from my emails; I wish I could find the full transcript but I can’t, so here it is.

Who are you, then?

I’m a singer, mostly.

And where are you from?

I’m from Fife.  It’s a dog’s head.  Well, it looks like one on the map, with St Andrews as the eye.  It’s very scenic, apart from the golf courses they’re building everywhere, but it’s beautiful, and it’s ludicrously laid back.  People will leave their shops, you’ll get queues in the hardware stores going “where’s Alasdair?”, like the Marie Celeste or something.  Mobile phones don’t work there, and there are no chain shops, no Burger King or Costa Coffee.  It’s great!

What do you get up to there?

Well, Fence Collective has been running for about ten years now, but that included at least five years completely in the wilderness – just me and my brothers contributing to it – it wasn’t until about 2000 that it started gathering momentum.  We were just doing it for local people really up til then.  We were just selling CDs that we made ourselves, it’s not like 40,000,000 Mariah Carey records upsetting the global economy, it was more like “let’s put some music out and see who hears it”.  

What do you mean? Are you saying you don’t want to be the biggest singer in the world?

No!  I don’t want to be cool, I hate that winning thing – people that enjoy winning, that’s just a total farce thing isn’t it?  People who get excited by winning!  Why would you want to be like that?  I find people who want to win all the time just… just… oh god, really embarrassing [he hides inside his sweater for a moment]   As genuinely defeatist as I was about what I did, though, I thought someone must want to buy this record.  Even though the bands I’d been in before had been pumping party bluegrass stuff, people were starting to remember the songs, and ask me about them, and that was the element that I was trying to appeal to when I started pushing my solo stuff.

And are you a beardy folker?

No, my music comes from all sorts of influences  I’ve certainly got respect for those old songs, though.  They lasted for centuries, and they were such incredibly clever songs, either hilarious or massively dark or really cleverly dirty.  And it really puts pop songs in a bad light; you think ‘why would anyone bother writing this?  It’s just a silly chant’, in fact since recording came about it’s all got skewed… all these records are really unimportant compared to songs that people actually remember and share.  Makes you wonder, though – we’ve still got lots of really dark folk songs about stabbing and shagging and all that, but what about the ones people don’t remember? Are there even darker, weirder ones that got written out of history? 

You’re really prolific aren’t you?

I suppose so, but why not?  It’s awful now, when bands get stupid hype and they have trouble with their FIRST album, they don’t get any chance to develop their songwriting or their fanbase.  I’ve done… god, about thirty albums now – ok they’re not highly produced, they’re just done at home, but still they’re all songs I’ve written.  People seem to think that’s mental, but sod it, I had a job for most of that time, it’s not like I was putting loads of effort in - it just happened that one night a week I’d sit down and write a song.  Easy peasy…  I don’t have a TV, see.

What’s the best thing you’ve found in a hedge?

Dave Weirs.  An old friend of mine.  He’d gone over this embankment on his bicycle, and he was really lucky.  I couldn’t see because he’d gone round this sharp right hand bend and vanished; I was shouting out, and it was all echoing around in the valley, then suddenly I saw him there – still on his bike, but upside-down and sticking out of this hedge.  Not too badly hurt but shocked.  That was a good thing to find in a hedge.

Have you ever been scared and/or excited by a horse?

God I’m terrified of them.  I tried to overcome my fear of horses on this farm, and this big bugger just came and stood on my foot.  That was it, I won’t go near them now.  Someone said ‘they sense your fear, you know’ and I was just like ‘so they’re taking the piss, aren’t they?’.  Don’t like them at all.  Sarcastic bastards.

Which body part could you happily live without?

Actually, all those gangly bits down below, they’re a bit weird.  Not yet, but once I get to a certain age and my mind’s given up on them, I reckon it’d be ok to just look like an Action Man down there.  Not now, though.

Do you have recurring dreams?

Yes, rotating dreams.  I dream that I’m spinning, and I shout out to people to stop me: they’ll put their hand out to stop me, but then just for a laugh they’ll let go and let me spin.  Horrible.  Even worse when it’s underwater spinning dreams – really sick-inducing.  I have dreams where people are possessed by an evil small dog too.

Could you write a song about running a website?

Yes.  It would be a combination of the worst bits of Franz Ferdinand, Kaiser Chiefs and Arctic Monkeys, and it would go “Look at me… please… PLEASE!”.