#if anyone has any advice for any of this please do let me know <3 i'd appreciate it lots
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le-velo-pour-dru · 4 months ago
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hi hi r u doing ok? noticed a lot of distress posts from u lately so i just wanted 2 check in... if u need a place 2 complain or vent it all out feel free to do it in response 2 this ask :))
-🦇
Yeah ummmmmmmm. my mental health has been pretty bad recently :'3 And I feel bad about all the negative posts I've been making recently, since people always talk about how they appreciate me being a positive presence on my dash, but sometimes I need to scream into the void about my problems, and this is my favorite place to do so X3
There are a bunch of things contributing to my mental state rn, but there are a couple main things that have been upsetting me more often than the others. Firstly, a dear friend of mine who I used to talk to constantly has been going through a tough time mentally, so for the last four months we've stopped talking to each other, because nowadays he doesn't have the mental energy to be holding all those conversations with me. And it's just such a hard situation; I know he needs this time away from me but I miss him so bad, he was my absolute best friend and we just cut communications cold turkey. I want him back in my life but I know he's not ready for that, so I just have to wait for an indefinite amount of time. I also just really hate that he's been having such a hard time for this long, and I really wish there were anything I could do to make things easier for him, but there isn't really anything I can do except wait and let him know I'm there for him. It's just such a hard situation all around, and I wish the whole thing could be over and everything could just go back to normal :(
The second thing is that my friends have such difficult situations offline, and there's nothing I can really do to help them. My friends in a Discord server I'm in often complain about their home lives, and a couple of them are in some pretty tough situations that break my heart to hear about. The issue is, though, when people tell me about their problems my mind immediately goes to solutions and ways to make it better, but in situations like this where people have crummy families, there's nothing I can do to change that or help make their lives easier. I guess it is good that I listen to them, but it hurts having to hear these awful stories about my friends' families and being unable to do anything about it. Gjxkjgdhzhkfffhzfgkfxfhgjc I just wanna give all the people I care about good lives and strong support systems of people who love and care about them but there's genuinely nothing I can do to help their problems aside from providing support with my words :( I WANT TO CREATE ACTUAL POSITIVE CHANGE IN THEIR LIVES RAGH 😫💔
And lastly, my self-esteem really hasn't been that good recently. I just keep getting convinced that my friends are annoyed by me and don't like having me around :( Also, I have a serious thing about being ignored, where if people don't react to the things I say, I take it very personally, which means when my messages go unreplied to, it makes me feel very unwanted and unwelcome. I'm just very insecure about myself, and even though I know I'm loved, my brain keeps lying to me about how my friends feel and it makes me feel really bad :(
Anyway, thanks for reaching out <3 I appreciate that you noticed what's been going on with me, my mental health's been pretty bad so it feels good to have someone caring about what's going on with me :)
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itwasntimethatdidit40 · 15 days ago
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Give me more.
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Pairing: neighbor!Frankie Morales x f!reader Words count: 2527 Rating: +18, MDNI
Summary: You're ovulating and can't calm down, just the night before Frankie leaves for a two-day camping trip with the boys for Santi's birthday... luckily Frankie is willing to help you... too much, even.
Tags/Warnings: POV second person, no use of y/n, established relationship, enemies to lovers, smut, fluff, a lot of kissing, female masturbation (on Frankie's leg hehehe), fingering (f receiving), oral (f receiving), overstimulation, aftercare, reader has breasts and vagina, wears a baby doll and a thong, she's able body, she doesn't blush, she has hair but it's not described and she has no other description, brief reader’s thought insert, marked in italics. Pussy pronouns. Pet names (baby, honey, good girl). Frankie is our PEK on a mission 🫡
A/N: This Frankie is the same as You look like a fun place to sit, but it can be read as a stand alone, there are only some mild references to the previous ff. (If you haven't read it yet though, I hope you do 👀♥️) I have a couple more ideas in mind for these two, I hope to have something out for the Christmas holidays at least. Thank you so much for loving these two in the previous story, especially to @harriedandharassed who read it and shared it like 3 times if I'm not mistaken, I'm so flattered and grateful. I hope this one works just as well as the first one. English is not my first language, I have no beta, I hope there aren't too many mistakes, please forgive me if there are. I'm open to any advice you want to give me to improve but please be kind. (you always are, tbh). Comments and reblogs are always welcome, you would make me so happy 🥹 I started a tag list, if you want to be added leave a comment. If you'd prefer to be tagged only on something specific I can definitely do that, just let me know.
Thanks to anyone who reads, I hope you enjoy.
Archive tags: @pedrostories ♥️
“Frankie...” you whisper in the dark.
“Yes?” he answers you in a thick sleepy voice
“Are you asleep?”
“Actually yes.”
“You're answering me, though.”
“Sweetheart...” he picks up his phone from the nightstand ”It's 3:00 a.m. What's wrong?”
“I can't sleep” you groan
“Come here, come on” you shift on his part of the bed and he holds you tightly against his body, you rest your head on his chest and surrender to his comforting embrace and the scent of his skin.
You hum “thank you”
He places a kiss on your forehead “sleep now”
You close your eyes, focusing on the sense of peace you feel wrapped in his strong arms, clasped to his body as warm as a furnace, one leg crossed over his, one arm wrapped around his waist.
It's amazing, really, so amazing that soon you begin to feel something else. a little shiver that runs under your skin, a little electric shock that goes through you all, and then a crescendo of wetness between your thighs.
You’re ovulating and you’re feral, simple as that.
You try not to mind it, to let it pass, not to be too demanding after he has already made you come twice tonight, once on the couch while you were watching a movie - well at least you tried, but you actually have no idea what the movie was about because you were too busy bouncing on his cock, which when you think back on it, it makes you laugh because it seems like a constant in your dating that you can't finish watching a movie without jumping on each other - and once as soon as you got into bed when he saw you coming out of the bathroom in a new babydoll and thong you bought especially for him.
Only two months ago neither of you could stand the other but now, as much as it still bothers you to admit it since he was the last person you thought you would end up with, you are completely and hopelessly smitten with him.
“Frankie,” you whisper, hoping he won't tell you off “can we kiss for a while? Just a little bit?”
It’s so early in the morning that he doesn't have the energy to be sarcastic as usual, he just replies “of course, baby”
He lowers himself on your face and kisses you on the lips, in a very tender but rather chaste way, he still looks half asleep. After a couple of minutes he stops and you sigh, resting your head back on his chest. 
I must let him sleep, you tell yourself. This man is tired, he has already fucked me twice, that should be enough for now. Yet no, it's not enough, you still crave more.
“Frankie.." you mumble on his chest.
“Mmm what is it again?” his voice is even deeper and rougher than usual, which literally sends you into raptures.
"I..." a glimpse of him between your legs as he eats your pussy flashes past your eyes, you squeeze them hard and admit "I want you"
“Still?” he doesn't have an angry tone, nor an irritated one, he's calm, quiet, definitely awake at this point because you feel his hands roam over your back, all the way down to your ass “you insatiable little minx. You know I have to get up in three hours.” 
“I know...but it's not fair, it's Saturday” 
‘You were there when I promised to go camping and fishing with the guys, right?’ You leverage your arms to reach his neck, resting your lips on his soft, amber skin ”mmmm yes” you groan.
He chuckles, as he squeezes your butt cheeks “you know I have to, it's Santi's birthday” 
You continue your run up his neck, slipping your hands under his shirt, caressing his back.
“I’m going to miss you,” you whisper in his ear, burying a hand in his dark curls, your leg tightening around him brushing your barely covered pussy on his leg. Frankie gasps at the sensation, as you begin to grind against his thigh. “It’s only for two days. Jesus, you really are a menace, you know that?” 
“Yeah, you like that about me” You coo.
He puts a hand on your neck, his thumb brushing your ear while his other fingers wrap around the base of your skull. “I sure do. Go ahead, honey, make a mess on me”
You’re grinding hard, the texture of your brand new thong is adding a delicious scratch between your clit and his skin. 
Ridiculous desperate moans escape your lips and he kisses you, letting them vibrate into his mouth. 
He’s wearing only a t-shirt and boxers, which allows you to feel his warm skin, your clit throbbing against him, your dripping pussy heating from the contact.
You feel the tingle of your orgasm mount inside you, your mouth is wide open for him, your tongue feverishly entwined with his in a sweet struggle that leaves you breathless.
And you come, wave after wave, quivering against him, one of his strong arms keeps you in place while his other hand is still wrapped around your neck squeezing lightly on your pulse point.
Your breath is short and ragged, your body hot and tested and yet you feel like it’s not enough.
As soon as your breathing returns to normal you mutter “gosh...I want more” into his slightly sweaty t-shirt.
His voice comes out more high pitched than he would like, he opens his eyes wide and exclaims, "Baby, do you want to wreck even the last bit of me tonight?”
You giggle softly and coo “She’s aching, you know…”
You feel one of his hands kneading one of your ass cheeks and then sliding down to your pussy, massaging your folds from behind, wetting his fingers with your juices.
“Mmm that’s good” you whisper “but I still want more”
Frankie grunts, flipping you onto your back on the bed and getting on top of you. 
His eyes scan you in the dim light of your room, reading the lust on your face. “How much is she aching?” 
You whine, tighten your arms around his neck, trying to pull him closer but Frankie doesn't budge an inch, he's too strong for you.
“Use your words, baby, I know you can.” His gaze is no longer clouded by sleep, it’s alert and authoritative and he pins you down. 
“A lot.” 
“Yeah? Does this wet pussy need me?” he goes down your chest kissing your skin left uncovered by the thin straps of your baby-doll. You moan again, you don't know how to do anything else, your head feels light and confused. 
"Answer me" he says leaving a bite on your shoulder. 
You squirm and a breathy "Yes" comes out of your throat.
You feel his cock swell against your thigh, A trickle of desire runs down between your legs, wetting the thong you're wearing underneath. It’s basically drenched at this point.
“What do you want me to do? Tell me what your naughty pussy needs" 
“Your tongue, your fingers…” you whine “Please, Frankie” 
One thing you learned right away about Frankie is that he really enjoys eating his girl out. 
He's not one of those men who do it just to get a blowjob in return. He's dedicated. He uses his tongue, his lips, his nose even, he compliments how you taste, how pretty your cunt is, how wet and warm she is under his tongue, he doesn't stop until you're left shaking and breathless beneath him, until he coaxed orgasm after orgasm out of you. 
He really is a force of nature and blows your mind every single time. And not only at doing that, he is experienced and passionate in every field.
“Greedy”
He pulls back the duvet and the cool air hardens your nipples as he reaches between your legs, his lustful, tantalizing eyes peering down at you. 
His mouth brushes your inner thigh, slowly moving up from your knee to your groin, his beard tickling you deliciously, “is that what you want huh?” 
“Yes” you murmur ”yes, please.” 
His plump lips settle on your opening, he sticks out his tongue and licks from above the fabric. You moan, sinking a hand into his raven curls, pressing him against your cunt. 
He chuckles against your folds, sending an exquisite vibration through your body, slips his fingers into the elastic of your thong and slowly pulls it down. 
Your cunt throbs in anticipation as his tongue travels up your slit and you emit a deep “Fuck, yes” as soon as his lips latch onto your clit, sucking away the last bit of reasoning you had left. 
“Oh God, Frankie” 
He goes down again and comes back up, tongue flat out sliding over your wetness, once, twice, three, four times as an irrepressible heat spreads inside you again and then the tip of his tongue stops under your clit and he begins to jerk it quickly with close flicks.
His hand is open on your thigh, he slows down a bit when he feels your body tenses, goes back to teasing your opening and then starts tickling your bundle of nerves again.
You tug his hair, spreading your legs even wider to take in all that he wants to give you, melting under his ministration.
“Fuck, you’re so good, don’t stop” you whine and you see him grinning as he replies “I won’t, baby, I’m going to have a damn fucking meal out of this pussy”
His touch is careful, long laps and sucks on your clit, he knows how to alternate them, he seems to know your body and the way it reacts inside out.
Another thing you discovered about him is that he is great at listening and observing and very often guesses your needs and reactions before you express them. He immediately learned how you take your coffee, how you frown when something is bothering you, he knows that you need a particularly tight hug on Monday nights, and that on Friday nights you like to treat yourself to a drink to celebrate getting to the end of another work week.
Frankie is good, really good, you even start to really like quarreling with him, you like the way he stands up to you, the thrill of it and the amazing sex that usually comes right after. 
He brings you almost to the edge with his tongue without taking his eyes off your face, and then you feel two of his fingers nudging at your entrance “you want them huh?” 
“Yes” you breathe, almost on the verge of delirium and he teases “ask nicely baby, I haven’t heard that little magic word yet” 
You would roll your eyes if you were able to do that but right now all you feel is desire, desire to be full again with his fingers, desire to be fucked just like the way you like, desire to be his and only his. 
“Pl-please” you mutter and he whispers “here she is, my good girl” 
His index and middle finger start to stretch you, it seems like he’s taking all the time in the world while you’re trembling and begging to be satiated.
“Almost there pleasepleaseplease”you plead and he sinks a little bit more, up to half fingers, his other hand gripping on the soft skin on your tummy, keeping you in place while your back feels like a guitar’s string ready to snap.  
Your walls are clenching desperately around his fingers, impatient to have all but instead of giving you your long awaited release he comes out completely. 
"Fuck" you hiss. 
His lips are curved into a mocking smirk.
Your clit is swollen, your hole empty and the almost release is tingling all over your body like a latent fire that cannot be extinguished.
“Did you think I would make this easy for you?” He asks ironically.
You scoff “Goddamn,Frankie!” 
You don't know how he finds strength but he's making you pay for be so demanding, your pussy won't stop throbbing as he barely caresses you, feather light touches on your folds, deliberately ignoring your clit. 
You try to breathe deeply to calm down, but as soon as Frankie feels your body relax he returns to licking you, two fingers on your clit moving in circles. 
You're almost on the verge of tears when he brings you back to within an inch of your brink.
“Frankie, please” you cry “I can’t- fuck- I just can’t”
“Oh yes, you can. You wanted more? I’m going to give you exactly this so now shut up and let me do my job” he’s commanding now.
He’s slow and steady over your bundles of nerves and when you impossibly tense again his mouth is back on it, sucking and teasing with his tongue.
When he gives you your second orgasm he doesn't stop stimulating you as it washes over you, your back arches sharply, you’re gushing in his mouth and all over his face, your hand in his hair tugs to try to pull him away from you but he doesn't move, his lips stubbornly latched onto your clit, his hand firmly on your tummy while the other grips your thigh. 
He doesn't stop as you anchor yourself to the edge of the mattress trying to lift yourself up, your body twitching unbearably, he pulls you by your legs and brings you right back to where he wants you without taking his face off you, in fact sinking even more. “Frankie please, please, I can't” you feel tears stinging your eyes. 
You feel so sensitive it’s almost impossible to handle. 
“Ssssh you’re good” he says, detaching from you just long enough to say it, his beard and mustache glistening and soaked in your essence.
You squeeze your eyes, cover your mouth with your hand as you wail so gravelly it almost doesn’t sound your voice anymore. 
You're overstimulated, your body is sore, you murmur a tearful “please” again, and Frankie finally decides you've had enough. He pulls away from you and takes you in his arms as he whispers, “You're okay, honey,” caressing your back. Your labored breathing slowly returns to normal, giving way to a deep, dense feeling of gratification. 
Frankie definitely reached another level of dedication tonight. 
��Is everything okay?” he asks as he lifts your chin, inviting you to look at him. "Yes," you murmur, and he kisses you tenderly, "do you think I've given you enough to deal with my absence for two days?”
You giggle “I think it's enough to endure a week” and ruffle his hair kissing him again, lingering on his lower lip “But let me tell you something, though, someone they call Catfish who goes fishing… it's really odd”
The sound of his thunderous laugh vibrates against you “I hadn't thought about it but I must admit that you are right. Now let me sleep for...I don't even know what time it is anymore” He reaches out an arm to retrieve the phone on the nightstand and realizes that it is already five o'clock.
“Oh, fuck”
tag list: @aurorawritestoescape @baronessvonglitter 🌹
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railleriee · 2 years ago
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Top, Bottom, Switch? - BSD Men
Hello! I'm back. (finally) I've been back on my bsd brainrot. I can not get enough of them. That being said, enjoy these Headcanons of some of my bungo stray dogs favs! ( I plan to update my layout soon! Any ideas would be appreciated! )
Characters included: Dazai, Chuuya, Kunikida, Ranpo, Poe, Akutagawa, Atsushi.
Reader is non-gender specific!
Warnings: Mention of sex, bratty characters, kinks, whining, etc. (Let me know if I missed any! )
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Dazai: 
Switch, a preference for top. 
I feel like when he was laying low for a year or so after leaving the PM he got around a bit. 
He’s been with multiple people and he’s definitely well experienced in bed. 
Dazai loves having power over others, resulting in his need to be a top. 
HIGH stamina, multiple rounds. 
Sex with him is wild, he’s very experimental. 
Rarely ever gets romantic during sex. 
On occasion he’d love to bottom! 
Definitely a bratty bottom, really into overstimulation.
Loves being teased in public, such a big turn on for him. 
Always down for quickies anywhere. 
Chuuya: 
Switch, reference for top. 
He’s definitely not as experienced as Dazai, and hasn't had the chance to get around a ton. 
He claims to know what he’s doing but definitely needs advice/teaching when it actually comes to it.
I like to think he’s surprisingly soft when it comes to sex.
Slow and gentle thrusts, poor baby is afraid of hurting you. 
When he’s on bottom, adores being ridden. 
He’s so sensitive and whines a bunch, whether he likes to admit it or not. 
Prevent him from touching you, it’ll drive him mad. 
Kunikida: 
He’s a top. 
I’d like to say he’s a switch but I can’t see him being on bottom. 
He’d be way too embarrassed to even admit it if he wanted to try it. 
He’s very straight to it, minimal teasing, although will take the time to prep you as needed. 
First few times were definitely awkward, although the more used to it he got, the better it got. 
Handsy. 
Hands are roaming every part of your body, he’s surprisingly skilled with them as well. 
Definitely into more sentimental sex, not into spur of the moment sex. 
Wants to make it as romantic as possible. 
Loves making you feel good <3
Ranpo: 
Switch, preference for bottom. 
He’s adorable, loves to be on bottom 
He’s lazy, and wants to do as minimal work as possible. 
BRAT! 
It’s so easy to break the poor boy, purposely misbehaves because he loves how possessive and angry you get.
He turns into a brainless mess who can’t even speak :-((
Babbling incoherent words while letting out whines. 
Begs! Deny him an orgasm and get the most precious mewls out of him. 
Very lazy if he tops, he whines and makes exaggerated sighs the entire time. 
Poe: 
Bottom, you can't change my mind.
Nothing screams bottom as much as this man. 
He’s very submissive in bed, always behaving. 
Melts when called “good boy”.
He doesn’t make a bunch of noise, but if he does he’s definitely whiny. 
Very shy! 
Reassure him, tell him how pretty he is and how he’s doing such a good job. 
Sex with him is always different. 
Experimentalist. 
Although shy, always willing to bring up new ideas and try them!
Akutagawa: 
Another bottom. 
This boy has never had sex a day in his life, so when you first did, he was clueless. 
Didn’t even know the aspect of top and bottom. 
When educated on it, he wasn’t sure what to do, although did as he thought pleased you! 
Him being on bottom is like stress relief for him.
He’s always trying to please, so someone else is pleasing HIM? He’s signed right up. 
Doesn’t make much noise, maybe a few grunts here and there. 
His entire body is sensitive, shivers anywhere you kiss him. 
Secretly adores marking. Loves having a reminiscence of the night before! 
Some of the PM notices said marks, although he never elaborates on his sex life to anyone. 
Atsushi: 
Switch, no preference. 
Where do I even start with him? He’s such a sweetheart. 
Soft and caring during, willing to try out anything you suggest as long as he doesn’t think he’d hurt you! 
Gasps a ton. 
Easily flustered, tease him during work and watch his face heat up! 
Stumbles over his words when teased. 
Like kunikida, he’s not into spur of the moment type sex. 
Into sentimental and romantic sex :-)) 
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wraithdance · 2 months ago
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Do you have any advice when it comes to dating straight men?
Short answer? Don’t. Long answer, under le cut we go for Calvary’s survival guide to dating men🙄
Actually curious why you want advice from my emotionally bereft ass but lmaooo. I’ll give you the advice I give my male dating family members and friends
1. Do not go into dating men desperate
you need to have at least the barest amount of confidence in who you are and what you want before dating a singular man.
Like I mean that shit, I’m not kidding. You don’t have to be self confident enough to write a self help book, but you need to be able to feel as if you can walk away when you are disrespected. no matter what fantasy you have of love, you WILL be disrespected babe. Learn early how to identify it when it happens and walk the fuck away with your self respect when it’s too much for you to ignore.
2. Do not let being ‘nice’ keep you from finding your dream partner
Start off with a working list of what kind of man you want and be as detailed and insane about it as possible. I mean everything down to what color underwear he wears if that’s something that might be a point of contention with you.
After you have that list write some hard rules for how a man is allowed to speak/act towards you and use that as a litmus test for if you continue a relationship. It is a privilege to be near you not a guaranteed right, so reinforce that or get walked over
3. Masturbate frequently and have your options open
Legit work out any hang ups surrounding sex and consider dating more than one person at a time so you don’t get stuck romanticizing one man.
No, that doesn’t mean you have to fuck all of them, but getting used to going on dates helps with nerves and prevents you from making the mistake of thinking you found ‘the one’ because you’re seeing the same dude. Please invest in a sex toy or 3. Being horny will get you into trouble!!
4. Do not trust a man’s word over your own senses
People lie. Don’t believe shit a man says unless he backs it up with receipts. He says he has a condo in France? ask to see the deed. He got his std labs done last week? Ask him to go with you to your regular doctor for a new screening.
Protect yourself always and if he gets mad that’s a red flag. Do not pass go because it’s life or death out here, babes. Which leads me to
5. Be a bitch. Be the biggest bitch you can be
Legit fuck every single thing anyone ever told you about being nice to a man. Work on getting comfortable with being an asshole and calling them out or you will be pushed over. This honestly goes for any gender like be a literal cunt when the time warrants it.
Someone pushy about you not letting them back to your place? Be loud and tell them they’re making you uncomfortable. Someone negging you? Look them in their eye and lean close, tell them “you know, when I first met you I thought you were a lot smarter. I guess not, since you had the nerve to say that to me without any regrets.”
Don’t like the date? Leave. That simple. It’ll save you heart ache and sometimes save your life.
Uh if you have more specific questions you can follow up but those are my top five rules. Men aren’t some scary mythical creature or hard science experiment. It’s all about setting yourself up to get what kind of love story you want. Good luck babes you’re gonna need it!!
MWAHH 💋💖
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kalki-tarot · 1 year ago
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CHANNELED LOVE LETTER FROM FUTURE SPOUSE ♡
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my readings are for entertainment purposes only! tarot is a divination tool. it is not a substitute for medical and professional advice, nor is it meant to be taken as such. i don’t take responsibility for any choice(s) made by you or others regarding my readings. please be mindful of your own choices and actions ♡
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PILE 1
Hello beautiful/handsome,
I saw you in the party, where everyone was busy with themselves, with their own groups. And you, you were sitting alone, pouring your own drink. You looked very beautiful to me. Just like a queen/king. Your straightforwardness and dominant behavior, is what I love the most. I crave you, dear. Oh. I can literally fight to win you. You are just like a prize. You have your priorities clear. Even if it's a run and chase, I'll follow you everywhere till my heart stops and i die.
You are very career oriented, you don't bs unnecessarily. I love your perception of life. I love how you stand up for yourself, even if you're alone. You are just like a Queen to me. You seem very distant, as if you're lost in your dreams. You have that dreamy side of yours too? I don't know. I just observe you from afar. You give me such soothing vibes, I just love being around you.
You make me forget my miseries. I love how you don't do wrong to anyone. You are very compassionate and loving. You can give love to even non living objects. You're so full of love. That makes me wanna love you, even more. Sweetheart. I love you. I want to pursue you, i want to make you mine. Do you think the same? Do you love me just the way I love you? I'm waiting for your answer.
Yours faithfully,
Love.
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PILE 2
I don't have the right words to truly express what I feel. I'm not in a good place right now. It feels as if everyone has given up on me. I'm sorry if I'm I'm making you uncomfortable but certain situations are out of my hands. I feel left out in the cold. I have the responsibility of my family on my shoulders. I'm trying to make fast changes. I'm trying to do everything on my own.
I'm very repressive of my emotions. I was not taught how to deal with them. Sometimes I try to run away from life. But then I get reminded of you. I look at the night's sky, full of stars and I wonder maybe you are like a star too. Lightening the dark and cold world with compassion and warmth. You give me true strength. And I'm forever grateful for your presence in my life. I'm holding onto a lot of things right now. I know i should let everything free, even myself. It's okay to make mistakes, right?
After every storm, there is a deep silence. Where everything remains silent, destroyed and out of control. No matter what life throws at me, I'll come back to you with ten times more strength, power & especially love and respect for you. It's life after all, right? Everything comes and goes. Maybe these times will pass? But I'll love you more with each passing moment for sure.
Yours Only Forever
💗
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PILE 3
I have too much of love and wealth. And that too much is being sucked off by others. I don't know what to do. Money can't buy love, sweetheart. I'm in a toxic relationship. They are taking away my everything. Literally everything.
I don't remember the last time I laughed. The money I earned through hard work, the morals and kindness my family taught me, everything is in vain. Everything is slowly leaving my body. I feel empty from inside. This person is taking away it all.
But I'm working hard, more hard, harder than even. So that I can provide you a better lifestyle. I can't expect anything from anyone. I have to do it all alone. Please remember me in your prayers. I'm afraid to let go. Everything is being taken away from me. I don't know what to do, I'm confused. I'm not sure which road to take. I believe the universe will guide me where I'm supposed to be, near you. I'm depressed nowadays. Very hopeless.
But I'm doing whatever i can do right now. I'm unable to even sleep at night. They lied to me. They deceived me. They were my life partner, but there was nothing "life-like" with them. It was just a relationship built on money. And you know how these type of things end. There is no emotion left in me. I'm blank. I don't know. They left me in the middle of the road.
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PILE 4
Hello pretty soul ♡
You know what? I see you every where. Whenever I go, wherever I go. I see you, i get reminded of you, by the flowers, the clovers, the river, the clouds and even the sun! You are a beautiful and positive person! You are such a great fighter! Whatever obstacles comes between our happiness, you remove it all. I get so happy and optimistic near you, my love. I'll fight with literally anyone for you, just for you.
You bring absolute calmness and peace into my chaotic life. You are a sweet breeze flowing softly over my cheeks on a warm, sunny day making me blush. I want to take care of you and love you for eternity. I want to offer you all the love that I have inside me, just for you babygirl/boy. I want to experience new things with you everyday. You make my life feel lively. ✨️
Dear, sometimes I too get lost in my past, that was not, unfortunately that happy for sure. I got lied to, i was betrayed by someone I called mine. I can't sleep properly due to this. I get nightmares and I get so f*king scared. I feel anxious and uncomfortable. But the good news is! I'm forgetting it day by day. Just a little progress makes it a whole lot of progress. I don't want to remember all these with you. I'm working hard, I'm moving forward. And i hope you're too <3
By,
Your one and only . ❤️
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fruittt-punchhh · 6 months ago
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Pop My Cherry!
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all parts
Synopsis: your dad’s best friend is none other than Toji Fushiguro, and you can’t help but wonder what he could do with his hands.
Characters: Toji Fushiguro x reader. Choso Kamo is mentioned, not a major part of the story.
Content: Minors Do Not Interact! afab! reader, fem! reader, dad’s best friend! Toji, suggestiveness, cursing, inexperienced (ish) reader, reader is a virgin but has done things ya know, reader smokes weed, alcohol usage, pet/affectionate names, no smut yet 🫶
Word Count: 2.2k-ish
Notes: friends!!! This is my first ever smut! Pls be nice🫶 if you have any suggestions, comments, advice, PLEASE feel free to let me know!! I hope you enjoy hehe. (filthy smut if you’re down for that in pt. 2 trust) excuse any typos, proofread a bunch but I’m also human. 💖
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It had been a terribly long week already, and it was only Thursday. You were on spring break from university, and you had spent most of the week catching up on overdue assignments.
You were staying with your father, as well as your brother, and your father’s best friend. He had a condo at the beach that wasn’t too far from your university, so it worked out well.
You had just finished your final essay for philosophy 200, closing your laptop with a snap! as you rub your eyes. It was nearing 3:30 a.m. but you still felt so much residual stress from the paper. You had a joint ready and waiting for you, and a hit or two couldn’t hurt, right? Enough so you could relax, maybe grab a snack, and hit the hay. You open your bedroom window, creeping out onto the balcony to let your worries fade away.
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You throw your leg over the window sill, trying to keep your balance. You lowkey had the munchies so you head to the kitchen before you retire for the night. Until you are met with a surprise.
Your father’s friend (you think his last name was Fushiguro?) has been gone all week for “work”. You noticed him coming in at odd hours of the night, looking worse for wear.
“What are you starin’ at, doll?” Toji says as he looks for a shirt in the laundry room.
You feel your cheeks turn red as you try to quickly avert your eyes. You wore nothing but a large t-shirt as you crept into the kitchen, hoping you wouldn’t wake your father.
You thought you heard Toji come in maybe an hour earlier, but you couldn’t know for sure. Here he stood, fresh out of the shower with nothing but a small towel wrapped around his waist. His dark hair was dripping down his back and he still looked as if he was radiating heat from the shower he just took (or was that you?) It was all of a sudden much too warm in the kitchen for your liking.
“S-sorry, I was just grabbing a snack. I’ll be quick,” you stammer. You had only ever seen Toji a few times, and you didn’t remember him to be this… attractive? You didn’t know if that was even the right word. In this moment, you felt attracted to him, sure. But you also felt small and helpless. As if he could pierce through you with his gaze alone. You truly didn’t mean to stare, but you also didn’t expect anyone else to be in the kitchen at 4 a.m., either.
He interrupts you with a smirk, “What’s the rush? It’s y/n, right? Grab me a beer out of the fridge while you’re at it, girl”
If you thought your cheeks couldn’t be any redder, you were wrong. You felt the crimson blush cover your ears as you turned around to look for a beer in the fridge. There was a (beer brand here) in the back on the bottom shelf. You tried to bend at your knees as to be discreet, but you could have sworn you heard Toji clearing his throat as you did so.
Toji slipped on a pair of black boxer briefs as you grabbed him a beer like the sweet girl you are. He felt as if the wind was knocked out of him when he saw you bend down, searching the fridge for his drink. Call him crazy, but he could’ve sworn you weren’t wearing any panties. He quickly ran the towel through his hair, trying to ignore the rush of blood he felt surging to his dick.
You grabbed the beer, as well as an apple for yourself. You walked over to Toji, and he took the beer from you with a ‘thanks’. He popped off the cap with his molars and took a big swig. You watched as the beer dripped down his chin and over his adam’s apple. You also noticed the scar covering his pretty lips.
Your eyes wandered as he finished his beer surprisingly quickly. He would usually come home covered in a mixture of dirt, sweat, and sometimes blood. Apparently, underneath the dirt and grime was a body that was sculpted by the gods. Everything about him was so big. His huge tits pecs and his ripped abdomen. His biceps were bigger than your head and his hands, oh god, his hands. They were riddled with callouses and he had short, bitten nails. His fingers were so thick and you started to imagine what it would be like to feel them on your body.
Your temperature rose as the lewd thoughts entered your mind. This is your father’s best friend! Although he was a a few years younger than your dad, he was still much too old for you. Not only that, but you were still (unfortunately) a virgin. And not for a lack of trying! You were double majoring in psychology and philosophy, so most of your limited leisure time was spent smoking to relax, or hanging out with your small group of friends on the weekends. Sure, you had masturbated plenty of times, and you’ve given the occasional blowjob. But you’ve never quite found the right person at the right time to go all the way with. You never cared much about the label ‘virgin’ until now, feeling like you might have been missing out.
Now, you were standing in the kitchen in the early hours of the morning thinking about what this man could do to you with just his fingers. The thought alone had you squeezing your thighs together, trying to give yourself any relief from the problem you’ve created.
“You know it’s rude to stare, right y/n? Especially after I asked you a question, doll”
Yet again, he’s caught you off guard. I mean seriously, how old were you? You felt like a teenage boy who had just seen his first pair of tits. You need to pull yourself together so you can get out of here as soon as possible. You didn’t know how long you would be able to hold it together without making it quite obvious that internally, you were aching.
“Shit, I’m sorry! I was lost in a train of thought, I-I guess. What was the question?” Hopefully he doesn’t catch on to your half-lie.
Toji pulls a black compression tee over his torso, giving you a moment to collect yourself finally. He throws the beer in the trash and steps into the light of the kitchen alongside you.
He flashes a toothy smile at you, “You should watch that language. Pretty girls don’t go around saying things like that. And I asked you what the hell you were doing up so late.”
Pretty girls? Did you hear him correctly? He could just be saying things to get you to squirm, and if that was his goal, it was working all too well. You hope his smile was out of politeness, but you knew enough about Toji from your father to know that this man did not have a polite bone in his body. It seemed almost as if he was teasing you?
“S-Sorry about the language, I’m just tired. I’ve been working on my philosophy paper for the last few hours and I just wanted a snack before I went to bed,” you admitted truthfully.
Toji rolled his eyes, smirking at your statement, “God, that sounds so fucking boring. I’m surprised you finished it, I woulda given up hours ago.��
You smiled at his honesty. You knew that your paper topic ‘the perception of personal space’ and your other assignments on morals and judgement were not everyone’s cup of tea. “It’s actually quite interesting, it’s about the concept of how one perceives personal space, but I definitely wanted to call it quits a few times. I’m just glad I can sleep in tomorrow.” You admit with a grin. Despite his blasé attitude, a part of you thought he might actually be listening (at least a little bit).
All he heard was bla bla bla. It seems interesting enough, if you have absolutely nothing else going on in your life. How could you even write two sentences on personal space, let alone an essay? “If it’s that fucking interesting, then why are you in here looking like a walking corpse? Have you seen those bags under your eyes? You need the sleep more than I do, hun.”
Well damn. You didn’t think it was that bad, especially not enough for some old man to point out. You had been staying up most nights trying to catch up on your work, and you could sleep in anyways. But each morning you found yourself awake at 7 a.m. on the dot, still cursed by the rigidity of your usual school routine.
“I’ve just been behind, so I’m trying to catch up while I have the free time.”
Toji peers at you and scratches his head, “Why the fuck are you doing school work on spring break, anyway? Aren’t ya’ supposed to be at the beach getting wasted with your girlfriends?”
While you admit that would be fun, there was just no time for it this year. You were in the last semester of your senior year, and you were graduating with top honors. You had to keep up the good work so you could hopefully be accepted into graduate school in the fall.
“I mean it’d be fun sure, but smoking is more my thing anyways. I like relaxing after all my work is done, so I’d rather stay here and get caught up while I can, ya’know?”
How cute. Look at you trying to be a good little student. It would almost be admirable if it didn’t make his stomach churn at how sickly sweet it was.
“That’s good, doll. Keep it up and you’ll be making big bucks just like me, yeah? What are you wanting to go to school for anyways, to be a fuckin’ therapist or some shit?”
Everyone thought you wanted to be a therapist, but truth be told, that profession couldn’t be more off your radar. You had enough problems of your own to deal with, and you certainly didn’t need to hear other people’s on top of that.
“I’m not going to school to be a therapist actually; I really want to be a professor one day. What do you do for work anyways? You always look like you just came home from war or some-“
He cuts you off before you can land a joke at his expense. Toji’s profession wasn’t the best topic for conversation, given that his line of work was very hush-hush.
“You’re cute. Next question.”
Cute?? At this point you felt like he was toying with you. But you did have another question for him.
“How come I can’t say ‘shit’ but you can say whatever you want? I’m grown, aren’t I?”
Toji shifted towards you. You stood in the door frame between the kitchen and the hallway, your apple untouched. You were too busy thinking of what to say next to the large, burly man that was suddenly peering over you. He came to the doorframe, throwing one hand on top of it. At this point, he was towering over you. His shadow cascading over you as you felt yourself shrink into the background. Toji glared at you with his velvet green eyes and a smug grin was plastered across his face. You felt his hand grasp your chin, forcing you to look up at him. Your neck was strained as you attempted to make eye contact with the taller man.
“Can’t you hear woman? I said pretty girls don’t go around saying shit like that. Do I look like a pretty girl to you?” He says as he inches closer to your face. You could smell the beer wafting from his mouth. But the smell was quickly overrun by the rest of him. He smelled like pine, cheap liquor, and…cinnamon? Suddenly, the grip on your chin tightens. His hands are so large, he’s even starting to squish your cheeks, making you look like an absolute fool underneath him.
“I asked you a question, princess.”
The name throws you off guard, but for some reason, you’re not upset.
“S-sorry, no y-you don’t look like a pretty girl. Of course not, m-my bad.”
“That’s what I thought, y/n.”
Toji spits as he releases his grasp on you, standing straight and stretching his arms as he lets out a yawn. He smelled the weed all over you and could tell how flustered you got from your little interaction. He grabs the apple from your hand, taking a huge bite which in turn means you only have about half an apple left. He hands you back your snack, pats your head then saunters over to the couch, plopping down with a grunt. He grabs the remote and turns it to some wrestling show he always watched.
You look at him, confused. You weren’t even staring this time. You were simply dumbfounded at the interaction you two just had. Surely that can’t be it, right? He’s just going to watch tv after he had you literally in the palm of his hand? (and he ate half of my fucking apple)
You move to turn the lights off, and you put your apple in the trash. Your appetite for food was long gone. You quietly walk out of the kitchen into the dim hallway. Toji calls your name, startling you.
“Sleep tight, doll.”
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pt. 2
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just-a-ghost00 · 2 months ago
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Celeb series : channeled advice from your bias' higher self
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Group 1
Cards : 2 of coins, 7 of swords, Strength, 3 of pentacles, Death, 9 of wands
Be mindful of the way you spend your time and energy. Of course, work is important but... are you getting any rest? Are you even eating properly? I don't want you to be sick and tired. I don't want you to be exhausted and forced to step away from what you love because of that. You have to be strategic. I know how much of a hard worker you can be. No one can take that away from you and I am proud of you for the efforts you put in your success, your studies, your job. I hope you are proud of yourself too. But remember that you are not alone. You don't have to handle all this pressure on your own. You can count on me too. You can come and rest on my shoulder. I will lend you a bit of my joy and energy if that gives you comfort, if that brightens your day. I would be happy if I could lighten up your load and make your life a little easier. Remember that you are human and you deserve to have fun, to spend time with the people you love and doing the things that make you happy. You were not born to grind yourself to death. You were born to live and laugh and love. Lmao that sounds so cheesy but that's the truth. Hang in there. I know you can do it. I know you have it in you to be the most beautiful and successful being the world has ever known. I believe in you. When you feel down or stressed, please don't mull it over all alone in your corner. Come to me and let's chat it out. Maybe I can help you. Okay? Love you.
Shufflemancy : Are you having any fun? by Elaine Stritch, Freak like me by Halestorm
Group 2
Cards : 8 of wands, page of pentacles, page of cups, Tower, knight of swords, 7 of swords
Don't hold back. Whatever you wanna say, say it. Whatever you wanna do, do it. Be you. Do you. Feel you. I know it, you know it. This life is too short to have any regrets or mourn it. So just live, shine bright, have fun. Learn as much as you can. Go as far as you can. Don't hold back for any of them hyenas who would be too happy to see you fail. Shake the world. Break the rules. There's no one like you. Speak your mind. Embody your truth. I see you. I feel you. I know what it's like. Don't share any of your tricks with them. They jealous. Let them choke on their venom. You got no time for their BS. Okay? You're a queen/king. You bow down to no one. The dumbest of them all is the one that never learns, never asks, never speaks up. But you know better, honey. I know you're going to nail it. I know you're a good one. I know you're gonna rock the world because you're a rockstar. Just don't stop, don't look back. Don't let anyone stop you. I'll cheer for you wherever you go, wherever you are, whatever you believe in. Don't be afraid of what you feel or what you want. Just embrace who you are. There is nothing to be ashamed of. You are perfect. I hope you see that. I am in awe at how gorgeous and smart you are. I'm your number one fan! Show me how it's done! Show me what you got.
Shufflemancy : Zoom by Jessi, OMG by Usher ft will.i.am
Group 3
Cards : 3 of pentacles, 10 of swords, 9 of pentacles, ace of pentacles, queen of wands, 9 of wands
It's important that you take care of your health. Especially if your mind isn't in the best place right now. I know how hard it can be. But I also know how resilient you are. You are going to get everything you want and more. I have no doubt about that. You are so patient and kind, so hard working. You carry yourself with such grace and humility that it would be impossible for you to fail. I can't imagine a world where you don't shine. It would be impossible not to love you and admire you. I wish I could be of help to you but to be honest I feel like I have nothing to teach you cause you give me so much more than I could ever give you. I know so little about this world, about this life. But I hope that you can find a friend in me. A reliable shoulder to lean on when you feel down. I hope that your days are bright and that I can contribute to that. If I can give you just a little piece of advice, it would be to find a community where you feel safe and like you can be your true self, show your vulnerable sides without fearing rejection or retaliation. Go at your own pace. One step at a time, make your dreams come true. I will help you in any way I can. If it's by sharing your work or giving you words of affirmation, I will. If it needs me listening to you ranting for hours, I will gladly do that. There's only so much that I can do and say, but I hope that it's enough. Know that I am always by your side. You are so beautiful. Never give up. Please don't forget about me when you're successful. Because I am sure that one day you will surpass me and the greatest of them all. And if that happens, I wish I can be part of your world.
Shufflemancy : R U Mine? by Arctic Monkeys, I don't think I'm okay by Bazzi
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deliciousangelfestival · 10 months ago
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Underworld Insomnia || 1 - B.Barnes
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Character : Bucky × Psychiatrist Female!Reader
Summary: As a ruthless contract killer, Bucky is feared in the underworld of criminals. His opponents freeze when they see him, as he is feared among them. However, they don't know that he could be warm to only one person: his pshychiatrist. The only person who could make him fall asleep.
Chapter 1, Chapter 2 , Chapter 3 , Chapter 4 , Chapter 5 ,-
Main Masterlist || support: Ko-fi
Thank you to everyone who has read this chapter. Please let me know what your thoughts are. I'd love to hear your feedback. Thank you once again.
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In the world of secret societies for underground criminals, there's a secret place for criminals to stay, a shop for criminals to buy their weapons, basically, criminals live like normal people but they can only go to places that are built for criminals.
That's the rule.
There's also a particular psychiatrist for criminals only. Since many of the criminals have demons in their minds.
For this job, Dr. Ben is the only person the criminals could go to and ask for advice and medicine so they could go to sleep. Most of them can sleep.
But the only person who has trouble is Bucky Barnes.
His name is enough to make everyone in the underworld shiver. His eyes are enough to make his opponents freeze.
Bucky is their answer if anyone wants a job done without any mistakes.
With the money from the job he finished, he could have a comfortable life for generations. But he doesn't need it because all he wants right now is to sleep.
"I tried what you told me. Work out until I'm tired, learn something new, clean all my weapons, upgrade my car, renovate my house with bulletproofing, sex," Bucky said while he lay on the couch, looking at the ceiling.
Dr. Ben kept writing while listening to his patient.
"I even went to pottery class, baking class, painting class, and sex," Bucky counted on his fingers.
"Still. Nothing works. I still can't sleep. It's been 7 years," Bucky said.
Dr. Ben, who kept writing, replied, "Yeah, you have mentioned sex multiple times."
"White noise, pink noise. In the end, I smashed the Bluetooth speaker. None of your methods work," Bucky said as he sat up and glared at Dr. Ben.
Dr. Ben adjusted his reading glasses. He remained calm, probably one of the few people not afraid even though Bucky was angry.
He clicked his pen and put the report on the table.
"Do you want to try reading fairy tale books?" Dr. Ben asked.
Bucky pinched the bridge of his nose. "Are you joking with me?"
Dr. Ben replied, "Most of you people have a shitty childhood. Have shitty parents. Perhaps deep down, your kind wants something related to fulfilling your inner child."
Bucky exclaimed, "Woah, doctor, calm down. You're brutally honest here." He sighed, because he knew this method will failed like the rest. "Fine. I'll try." Then he lay back on the couch and closed his eyes.
Dr. Ben picked a children's book and started to read, he flipped through the pages, and began to read aloud, "Once upon a time, in a faraway kingdom, there lived a brave little mouse named Timothy."
"Timothy was no ordinary mouse," Dr. Ben continued, "for he possessed a heart as courageous as a lion and a determination that could move mountains."
"Stop. Stop. It's so weird listening to you. Get someone else," Bucky interrupted, feeling uncomfortable.
Dr. Ben closed the book. "I'll get my apprentice."
Bucky raised an eyebrow. "You've got a new one?" He knew that none of Dr. Ben's employees stayed that long, given the fear of criminals who kept coming for therapy.
Dr. Ben adjusted his glasses. "She could tame Bruce Banner; I think she could do the same to you."
Bucky rolled his eyes. "Fine."
Dr. Ben got up from his seat and opened his office door. "Y/N, help me for a bit," he called out.
Bucky heard a melodious voice respond, "Yes?"
The door swung open, revealing a woman with a confident stride and a calm demeanor. She had striking eyes that seemed to hold a depth of understanding, framed by a cascade of dark hair that fell gracefully around her shoulders.
Her posture exuded poise and assurance, hinting at a quiet strength within. She carried herself in professional attire with an air of authority, yet there was warmth in her expression as she met Bucky's gaze.
As you approach your boss, he suddenly puts a children's book in your hand.
You look at him, puzzled. "Huh?"
Dr. Ben pointed at Bucky and explained, "This person can't sleep for years. So I want to see if reading a children's story could make him fall asleep."
Bucky huffs in frustration. As a top assassin in the underworld, it's humiliating if he can only fall asleep with a children's book. "Just do it."
You flinch, knowing the man in front of you is dangerous.
Dr. Ben pats your shoulder reassuringly. "Don't worry, he's just cranky. I'll be here too. I need to see if it's working or not."
"Okay," you respond, then sit in the chair near Bucky's couch.
Before opening the book, you can't help but notice the tattoos on his neck and hands.
"Are you done staring?" Bucky asks, irritation evident in his voice.
"Oh, right, I'm sorry," you apologize quickly. "I'll start reading. Once upon a time, in a faraway kingdom, there lived a brave little mouse named Timothy. Timothy was no ordinary mouse, for he possessed a heart as courageous as a lion and a determination that could move mountains."
As you continue reading, Bucky listens intently, his eyes focused on the ceiling as he tries to relax.
"Despite his small size," you continue, "Timothy dreamed of embarking on great adventures and proving himself to be the bravest mouse in all the land."
Bucky's tense expression begins to soften slightly as he listens to the soothing cadence of your voice.
"One day," you narrate, "a fierce dragon threatened the kingdom, causing panic among the inhabitants. But Timothy, undeterred by the danger, volunteered to confront the dragon and save his home."
Bucky's breathing starts to slow down as he gets engrossed in the tale, his earlier restlessness fading away.
"With unwavering courage," you go on, "Timothy faced the dragon, armed only with his wits and determination. And through his bravery and quick thinking, he managed to outsmart the fearsome beast and bring peace back to the kingdom."
As you reach the end of the story, Bucky's eyes grow heavy, and he finally begins to drift off to sleep, a sense of calm settling over him.
Dr. Ben watches silently, nodding in approval as he sees the story's effect on Bucky. It seems that, perhaps, there is power in the simplest of tales to soothe even the most troubled minds.
Bucky's eyes felt heavy. The childish story and your calm voice made him feel relaxed. Your voice seemed more effective than white noise in soothing his troubled mind. As he listened, the tension in his muscles gradually melted away, replaced by a sense of peace and tranquility.
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Then Bucky opened his eyes, only to realize he wasn't in the same place in Dr. Ben's office anymore. He found himself on a bed inside an unknown room. Panic surged through him.
Had he been kidnapped?
It would bring shame to his name as the feared killer if true.
As he processed his surroundings, Bucky's hand instinctively went for his knife, ready to defend himself. But soon, he recognized the familiar surroundings of Dr. Ben's building. Relief washed over him, though he remained on edge.
A door creaked open, causing Bucky to tense, his grip tightening on the knife. But to his surprise, it was just Dr. Ben.
"Did you have a good sleep?" Dr. Ben asked calmly.
Bucky clicked his tongue in annoyance and massaged his shoulder. "No. Your methods didn't work. I'm still tired."
"Well, that's natural since you've been asleep for three days," Dr. Ben replied matter-of-factly.
Three days?!
He can't believe it, since he has only been able to sleep for one hour each night for the past seven years. Bucky's eyes widened in disbelief as he checked his phone, seeing the date and numerous missed calls and unread messages.
"It worked?" he muttered, incredulous. He had been able to sleep and hadn't even realized it.
Bucky's amazement lingered as he realized that he had slept for three whole days without even being aware of it. It was a stark contrast to the years of insomnia he had endured, struggling to find even a moment of rest.
The tension that had plagued his body for so long began to ebb away, replaced by a newfound sense of calmness and clarity. He couldn't deny the relief that washed over him, knowing that perhaps, just perhaps, there was hope for him yet.
Then, there was a knock on the door. It was you.
"How is he, doctor? Is he still asleep?" you asked, but you gasped when Bucky's intense gaze met yours.
Was he angry? Did he blame you for making him sleep for three days?
"Y/N, is it?" Bucky inquired.
You responded groggily, "Yes?"
Bucky got on his knees, his right hand resting on his left chest and his left hand reaching for you. He looked at you earnestly and asked, "Will you work for me?"
You were taken aback, as was Dr. Ben. Bucky's unexpected gesture felt like it could lead to a significant misunderstanding, resembling a proposal rather than a job offer.
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Author Note:
Hey friends,
If you've been enjoying the content, I've set up a Ko-fi account. Your support through tips would mean the world and help me keep creating. Only if you feel like it!
Here's the link: Ko-fi
Thanks a bunch for being fabulous followers!
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r1poutmygvtz · 18 days ago
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°•*⁀➷ Introduction °•*⁀➷
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TRIGGERING BLOG: BLOCK DONT REPORT
cws for my blog: weed, alcohol, and nicotine use, ed, occasional sh and suicidal thoughts/talks about attempts, occasional mentions of physical/verbal/child abuse, religious or childhood trauma, pet/family death, medicine misuse, and overdoses
please tag any posts about christianity/god with "tw christianity" and any sh posts with either "tw sh" or "tw sh implied"
links proof-checked by my awesome moot @/atlasisneverenoughx
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°•*⁀➷ About Me °•*⁀➷
Name: Vivian
Age: 16 (17 on the 11th) im ok with adults interacting just don't be weird yk? id prefer followers/moots aged 15-22 but i'm ok with people older or younger following, i just may not interact as much (unless we're already moots)
Gender/Pronouns/Sexuality: im gender apathetic/non-binary, i could care less about my gender or how i'm perceived. i use all pronouns but when asked i just say they/them or they/xem if we're close. (moots are allowed to use xey/xem for me freely btw and i encourage it!! :3) i'm aroace and pan (more specifically; i rarely get crushes on people but still find some people attractive regardless of gender and i'm a sex repulsed asexual)
Diagnoses: depression, anxiety, and derealization (depersonalization is not diagnosed however im aware i deal with it and need to bring it up next session) my therapist is trying to diagnose me with ptsd and my mom wants me to get diagnosed with anorexia
Be Aware: i don't censor most things but i will tag everything i post according to what's mentioned (tw guide below cut). Another thing; i struggle to communicate properly most of the time so i may sound dry or uninterested at times, also if you're venting or talking about something and i talk about my personal experiences, i am not trying to make it about me, i just don't know how to carry on a conversation or show sympathy in any other way and i apologize for that
DNI: basic dni stuff (racist, homophobic, sexist, etc) generally bad people, christians (only if you post about it otherwise idc just don't tell me), kink/NSFW/18+ blogs, anyone under 13, men over 23, (unless we're already moots for the last two) and non-ed/shed blogs (preferably, they can interact but i may not follow back)
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Fill out this form to get your name on my taglist for picrew/reblog games, do not reblog with tags list, and to get any trigger you want tagged with a tw put in my tag list!!
Send gr0ssp0, d!3t, m3alsp0, and occasional th!nsp0 requests to my askbox, anons are on!!
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Stats, Goals, Blog Rules, Links, and Tagging Guide below cut
Stats will also be in my bio from now on :)
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°•*⁀➷•* Stats °•*⁀➷•*
Height: 5'5.3
HW/SW: 136.6lbs
HBMI/SBMI: 25
LW: 98.6lbs
LBMI: 16.2
CW: 110.2lbs (updated Nov. 25th)
CBMI: 18.2
UGW: 90lbs
UGBMI: 14.8
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°•*⁀➷•* Goals °•*⁀➷•*
GW1: 110lbs
GW2: 105lbs
GW3: 100lbs
GW4: 95lbs
UGW: 90lbs
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°•*⁀➷•* Blog °•*⁀➷•*
Rules
Be respectful towards everyone on my page, if you have a problem with someone then please take it to the dms
Dont argue with people through my comments or through reblogs under my posts, again, take it to the dms
Please don't cal check my wieiads, i have a food scale and weigh just about everything to be as accurate as possible, cal checking just makes me anxious about nothing
Don't send me asks saying that i need to recover, im aware youre trying to help and i appreciate it but saying that means and does nothing for me, it just makes me more motivated because someone's worried about me
If i reblog something that has misinformation or something that's accidentally offensive, pleaseee let me know so i can take it down, i don't always double check like i should
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°•*⁀➷•* Links °•*⁀➷•* Apps
Instagram
Twitter
Pinterest
Tiktok
Breezer
Step up
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Masterlinks
Wieiads
M3alsp0
Diets
Gr0ssp0
Th!nsp0
Tips/Advice
Music
Picrews
Tag/Reblog Games
Ask Games
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Others
Anonymous Emojis in Use
TWS Added to Posts
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°•*⁀➷ Tag Guide °•*⁀➷
There's a lot and most are self explanatory but in case you were wondering here's all of them :3
#gvtz- all my posts/reblogs
#gvtz life- talking about what's going on in my life, reblogging things i relate to
#gvtz rants/vents/rambles- my posts where i rant/vent/ramble and talk too much or let my mind wander while typing
#gvtz eats- wieiad
#gvtz cooks- recipes or talking about cooking
#gvtz works out- talks about exercising, progress, and anything fitness related
#gvtz asks- answering asks!!
#gvtz moots- reblogging moots stuff, playing reblog games with moots, moot related posts, or when my moot sends an ask
#gvtz will eat- meal plans/ideas
#gvtz 🩻- th1nsp0 (updated!! old tag used the 👙 emoji but this one's more fitting)
#gvtz 🍽️- m3alsp0
#gvtz diets- diet requests or diet related posts
#gvtz 🤢- gr0ssp0
#gvtz recipes- low cal recipes i find
#gvtz music- sharing my music or talking about music
#gvtz wants to eat :((- complaining about cravings probably, or complaining about not having food that i want
#gvtz advice- giving advice to asks!!
#gvtz is unstable- talking about mental problems other than an ed like mood swings, hallucinations, etc or posts i made while having a mental breakdown!! :3
#gvtz is productive??- talking about things/chores i did, planning my day
#gvtz kitty :3- posts about harley!!
#gvtz binged- probably complaining about my lack of self control or whining about how horrible i feel; warning, i may talk about purging/wanting to purge through lax or overexercise, i may also talk about wanting to purge the stereotypical way and those posts will be tagged with #emeto tw and #tw emetophobia
#gvtz bc- b0dych3cks
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skyplayssplatoon3 · 3 months ago
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Final Grandfest Tips!
We're about to be sent out into the biggest Splatfest yet!
If you're just out for a few rounds, maybe with friends to have some fun, then please enjoy!! <3
If you're, however, ready to fight hard and get as many wins as you can, here's the advice I can give as a X Ranker who is used to most types of Splat Hell
HERE'S HOW 2 TRY AND WIN MORE:
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#1 - Mind the icons at the top! If you're down 2-3 players, don't rush in to fight so hastily! Regroup and push together! If THEY'RE down 2-3 players, that's your chance to move up and keep 'em back! Watch the special icons too! Don't go running into trouble if they have their specials ready! #2 - Mind your weapon! It's not always wise to bring something like Gloogas or Blasters into a Turf War match unless you're VERY confident in your slaying role. You need to be able to ink enough to win, after all. Remember, Turf War isn't necessarily about the kills! They can help, but I have won games purely due to timing our pushes right near the end! Focus on the objective above all else, and that's to claim as much turf as possible!
#3 - Don't tilt too hard! TRUST me, I've played X Rank for years, I know how badly tilting can mess up your performance. If it's getting stressful, take a bare minimum of 10 minutes to back out and chill out. If you keep rage-pushing for that win, you will very likely play terribly! Deep breaths, and try again!
#4 - It aint over till it's over! Just cause you had a bad time, doesn't mean your team has! I've had a handful of Splatfests I was SURE we lost due to how badly it went for me, but in some cases we ended up winning anyway! Do what YOU can, but the rest is up to everyone collectively! So don't be too hard on yourself, and don't give up so quickly!
#5 - It wont always be fair Disconnects will happen, throwers will happen, you may be thrown against the best squads in the entire world...Be ready for this NOW. Some matches will just be against you, and that's okay! It happens to everyone; just do what you can, shake off the losses, and try to find your fun!
If anyone has any specific questions, feel free to ask me anytime! Or drop it in the thread and the rest of the community can pitch in to help out!
LET'S HAVE A GOOD TIME Y'ALL HAPPY GRANDFEST!!
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am-i-the-asshole-official · 6 months ago
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WIBTA for suggesting my girlfriend eats less?
(🫠 so i can find it later)
I know immediately it sounds insane but please I need advice. Also sorry it’s so long this is a sensitive topic and I want to treat it as such.
So my (24F) girlfriend (22F) has been trying to lose weight for about 9 months now. I let her offer up what info she wants but never ask because I don’t want to add pressure, and i’ve struggled with an ED and witnessed as my mom has struggled with her weight since I was born so I understand how hard it can be. But my girlfriend is as gorgeous as ever. And I know she’s been as active as possible so Idk why she’s so hard on herself.
My mom eats healthier than anyone I’ve ever known. When I was younger I watched her go through phases with taking on some weird diet that never really worked. She once told me she recognized her real problem is stopping when she’s “full” and not what she eats. She was insecure about that fact because she almost starved as a teenager. I tried to encourage her to accept her body if eating what she wants makes her happy. But she always says she isn’t happy when she’s not eating & only would be if she felt “sexy” again.
I’m starting to see a similar struggle in my love. She asked to go to the gym together, so I bought us a gym membership. We try to get there 3x a week for at least an hour each time. But she’s in her final semester before graduating so we stopped going as much about a month or two ago. She keeps talking about losing weight so her graduation dresses will fit better but I think they fit perfect. I zipped them myself. She never wears dresses or skirts, favoring baggy clothing and streetwear, so I think she’s just not used to the sensation of a form-fitting dress.
She joined a coed soccer team that would meet weekly for a month. I went to her games, she goes hard. She’s also started going for runs twice a week after work with a coworker. They did 3 miles one day! That’s still 3 days a week she’s been working out, plus the occasional day or two every other week we manage to get out to the gym.
She has taken to blaming me for us not going to the gym, not directly but will whine at me with a pointed tone, as if begging me to go to the gym after she told me we couldn’t go. I try to ignore it since I know she’s having a hard time and mostly venting. But if I agree and offer to drive us, she always has too much homework. Even if she’s been sitting on tiktok for an hour.
I do all the cooking for us. After she complained about not making progress I started serving us both smaller portions. Now she gets seconds after meals and will complain about being snackish or wanting a sweet treat less than 30 minutes after we’ve ate. If I stand firm on no treats (which is rare), she pouts. She refuses to get a treat without me, if I tell her she can go get one if she wants she won’t. If I give in, then later I feel guilty like I enabled her. And she’ll guilt trip me for it too. And then she’s unhappy about not losing any weight again and the cycle continues.
She’s got a broad build and a naturally curvy body. When she talks about being her ideal size/shape again, it’s always in photos of her at 14-17. I keep trying to instill in her that she can get muscular and fit but still might not look like that again because she was a child. She dismisses me every time and will compare her body to mine since we’re the same height, but I have different genetics and an overactive metabolism.
She’s active, healthy, muscular, and is maybe 30 lbs over the BMI for her height and age. I don’t believe in the BMI, just stating for reference reasons. Some of that “overweight” is definitely likely muscle since she said she gained weight after we first started going to the gym. She would not believe me when I said you gain muscle before you lose fat, even though she’s learned this in her major. In my eyes to have the kind of toning that she wants— and that athletes her shape have— she probably only needs to lose like 10-15 lbs. You can see the line of musculature on her thighs as she is. She eats way healthier than most college students because she’s a medical major and really cares about body health. I think a lot of her desire to lose weight comes from the athleticism of the PT’s she works with.
She continues to nitpick at her other behaviors (i.e. having a yasso icecream twice a week) that are far less “harmful” to her goals than overeating. But I fear it will cause a rift in our relationship if I try to suggest that to her.
I want to help her on her journey and the way she blames me makes me feel like I need to do more to help, but the only thing I can think to suggest is something I would never recommend on my own, let alone to my girlfriend who I think is beautiful as is. I don’t want her to think by me suggesting smaller portions that I have a problem with her perceived lack of progress. I only have a problem with being treated like it’s my fault she isn’t losing weight. When I tell her she looks amazing as she is she just tells me I’m biased because I love her.
I don’t feel it’s my place but Idk what else to do. So WIBTA if I told her that she should try to eat smaller portions rather than dieting since she’s already physically active and eats healthy?
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ascendanttarot · 1 year ago
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PAC: What type of main character are you?
Hi everyone! So, as we know, we are the main character of our own lives. This PAC is meant to get into the more specific details of what type of character you are. We'll be covering:
Your archetype
Your story
Two channelled songs
As well as some signs before the reading to ensure the message is for you. If you resonate with one or more signs, that is meant to be your reading. :)
Please remember your fate is not set in stone so your answers may change depending on the actions you take and will take if you please. Tarot is not a substitute for professional advice. The images I’ve used are not mine.
From left to right, Pile 1, 2 & 3.
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Pile 1
Signs that this is for you: You may have an earth sign in your big three, specifically Taurus. If not, I'm sensing someone who wears a lot of Earth tones in their wardrobe and feels connected with nature. You may have a 4th house stellium. Your throat chakra may be blocked, meaning you have difficulty speaking up and standing up for yourself. If this is the case, then this is a wound you're meant to heal in this lifetime. You may listen to music to cope with your emotions because you have difficulty trying to make sense of all of it by yourself. Um, this is an odd message, but I just smelled ramen? Specifically, the smell of instant ramen? Someone here may be eating that right now, or maybe that's your go-to meal. You're also considered your group's ‘mom/dad/parental friend’.
Your cards: 3 of swords, The Lovers rx, 6 of Cups rx, Death, The Empress
Your archetype: The Caregiver
Your story: From a very young age, you’ve learned that the relationships you build with others aren’t meant to last. Your friends or family members from this time may not have tended to your emotional needs. Some of them may have even been narcissists, but the key message here is that they required you to give all of yourself, all the contents in your cup, as an incentive to make them stay in your life. You grow up thinking all relationships were meant to be like this. I just heard the word ‘transactional’ so maybe some of you who are well in your adulthood view your relationships to be more like a business transaction than a genuine relationship. You’ve set low standards because you feel that’s all your worth. Communicating boundaries may be difficult for you because you don’t want to step on anyone’s toes, because you feel you'd rather have this than nothing at all.
There’s a shift though. I just felt a surge of… quiet anger. It’s not the explosive, shouting-at-your-face type of anger, but it’s like a switch has just been flipped and you begin to realise you deserve more than you’re getting. You distance yourself from the people around you or you will soon. For some, I could even see this be a physical move. The point is that you become a bit of a hermit for a while. You take the time to finally get to know yourself on your own and give yourself the comfort you’ve been wanting so desperately from others, filling your own cup. If this is yet to happen to you, I got a strong message to look back to your childhood self for guidance—what would they have wanted for their older self? What jobs and projects did they see themselves achieving? What shows and music gave them comfort when they were lounging, or crying by themselves to self-sooth? Doing inner child work will help present you more than you think.
The future is bright with the Empress card at the end. You learn to love yourself and know your worth not because someone told you so, but because you took the time to define that yourself. You haven’t stopped caring for others, you’ve just learned to care for yourself first.
Thank you for letting me be your reader, Pile 1!
Your song: Just A Little Bit Of Your Heart by Ariana Grande and Clean by Taylor Swift (for some reason I’m sensing there may be some Taylor Swift fans in this pile)
Pile 2
Signs that this is for you: I did not get any strong hints on what sign you guys might be, but if I had to name one, I’d say Aquarius. The first thing I did see was height, so either you guys are really short or really tall. You also may be very physically attractive, like I got ‘pretty’ vibes from your pile. I also got ‘boyfriend’ vibes, but I mean that in a gender-neutral way. I feel more at ease using slang with your pile, so maybe most of you here are of a younger age group. Either way, I’m sensing the majority of you are in school, or some sort of higher education, and that your teachers/classmates may tease you about your handwriting because I just heard ‘chicken scratch’ lol. Some of you may say you’re nerds, and that your favourite subjects are STEM subjects. You may be a singer and have been told to have an angelic voice. Extra messages: You like and relate to Peter Parker, you proofread your essays so much you memorise them by accident, and you like baked goods because I just smelled a bakery for some reason?
Your cards: Queen of Swords, Page of Swords, Seven of Swords, Knight of Cups (extra clarifying card: Three of Cups), The Hierophant
Your archetype: The Hero turned Teacher
Your story: Your story starts when you’re in your teens which may be the age you are now. Your ambition is your drive, but it’s not for selfish reasons; you’ve got big dreams because you want to change the world in some way and give back to your community by possibly offering some sort of service. I think many people look up to you and how brilliant you are. It’s odd because I can almost see you from their point of view, and the admiration is so great for you and your potential it can come across as overwhelming. I say you’re a ‘hero’ with the good and bad in mind because while you deserve the recognition, I think you may feel a bit suffocated by it.
The borderline hero worship makes you feel uncomfortable because you may feel like you don’t deserve it, regardless of what people think. In your head, you recognise how much you don’t know, and you berate yourself for it, always criticising yourself saying ‘You can do better’. If you achieve something, you never have the time to celebrate it and look back on how far you’ve come because you’re always after the next goal. I just heard ‘It’s not enough’ and then ‘I’m not enough’ straight after. I feel on edge with your energy, like you’re rushing to prove yourself without realising you’ve already done so a million times over.
The turning point of your story can either be a dramatic or a quiet one, but for most of you I’m sensing you burn out without even realising it. Because of that you feel frustrated with yourself that you’re ‘slipping’ so you work yourself to the bone, which makes you ‘slip’ even more. I think the next phase of your life is going to require vulnerability coming from you where you admit you need help from the people you love, and this is going to feel so uncomfortable because I can tell you’re not used to asking for help at all. Your loved ones may confide in you too, telling you they were scared you were rushing towards success so much you were leaving them behind. Difficult conversations were or will be made, but that benefits you so much.
You reconnect with yourself and your loved ones, learning empathy and love along the way. This helps you refine your goals, and you’ll start asking yourself what you want. Your mind becomes sharper because of the boundaries you’ve put on yourself and for yourself. This makes people respect you more, but it doesn’t feel uncomfortable anymore because you start respecting yourself. You grow from being a hero to a Sage/Teacher with a well-earned sense of wisdom your younger self didn’t even realise was a blind spot.
Thank you for letting me be your reader, Pile 2!
Your song: Show Me the Right by NEIL FRANCES and Radio Ga Ga by Queen
Pile 3
Signs that this is for you: The strongest energy I got from your pile was that you are a very spiritual person. Clairaudient abilities are strong with this pile, as well as claircognizance. You may identify as a witch or a practitioner and may even have a familiar. I’m also sensing you might literally be a cat person and that’s why you may have clicked on this reading, haha! Physically, I see very high contrast features. If you know what colour seasons are, you may be a True Winter, Dark Winter, or Dark Autumn. Your gaze is incredibly striking, almost intimidating. For astrology placements, I’m sensing a heavy emphasis on the water signs Pisces and Scorpio, or at least a heavy influence of the planets Pluto, Mars, and/or Neptune in your chart. You may also work with the fae and/or Hecate. This is a peculiar message to give, but your energy feels like when lightning strikes a large body of water, and despite having heavy water placements you might work with breath magick.
Your cards: 5 of Pentacles, The World rx, Page of Cups, Queen of Wands, Six of Wands
Your archetype: The Outlaw
Your story: Before I start, I want to say you’re similar to Pile 1 but not really. It feels like you and Pile 1 had similar upbringings, but your journey is different like you’re two sides of the same coin. Are you friends with someone like Pile 1? If not, I think you will in the future.
So, onto the reading. Your story starts with you feeling like the world is going against you, like they’ve shunned you out before you had any say in it. Your energy feels like smoke, and people mistook you for someone illusive when you were just more open to being yourself. You have a high intrapersonal intelligence so you accept that you are multi-faceted, but for some reason other people can’t. It feels like a ‘you against the world’ energy. I think people did this because they were scared by the fact they couldn’t control you, and that you can read everyone so well but for some reason, no one can read you.
That in turn made you more rebellious, more willing to push the boundaries and be different which I think made the people in your life angrier. At the start, you may have done it out of spite, but as you grow into yourself you realise, you’re doing this because you want to live your life honestly, and that it’s for your happiness at the end of the day. Eventually, anger evolves into sadness. You long or will long for someone to finally see you for who are in all the depths you see in others. You don’t advertise this feeling. Many people won’t notice the change in demeanour because they’ve got it in their head that you’re like this rogue nomad, but this won’t last forever.
Like magic, you meet someone or a group of people that just get you, and they come into your life at exactly the right time. Your spirit guides are being quiet about what that means, but for some of you it could be when you feel like you’re hanging by a thread, and that’s when these people finally come into your life. I think people will question this relationship/friendship because you two seem like polar opposites, with the other person/people being gentler and you being more headstrong, but what they don’t see is that this other person/group feels like they aren’t seen properly either. That’s why you two click.
You become a power duo/group. I could see that some of you may even work together on a business or a humanitarian cause. Your self-confidence grows bit by bit, and you regain the power you have over yourself you felt was too big for you to handle before. You could stand alone, but you realise you don’t want to anymore. You’ve never felt more at home.
Thank you for letting me be your reader, Pile 3!
Your song: Villain Of My Own Story by Unlike Pluto and The Greatest by Louis Tomlinson
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jade-len · 1 year ago
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guys, guys.
be honest with me. would anybody be willing to read any SVSSS x reader stuff (or, just SVSSS with reader fanfics in general?) like please i'm being so deadass right now. i am very willing to write, it's just that i have no clue if anyone would want to read that???
i know that the people in this fandom don't necessarily have any x or & readers, but i'm sad and pathetic and have a weird emotional attachment to the characters. like hear me out guys.
i present to you all a few ideas i have:
1. reader transmigrates into SVSSS and decides, fuck it, let's become a counselor/therapist/emotional support service pal. half of the conflicts in the novel would've been prevented if therapy, communication, and simple observation existed! mu qingfan, give me a chance!! i promise this will lower the qi deviation rates by at least 50%.
liu qingge? alright, let's work on learning identifying your feelings better and not respond via violence to every situation. shen jiu? hey, hey, it's okay to be vulnerable! no- please don't go self projecting yourself onto an innocent 14 year old. luo binghe? *pulls out 5 different documents* heavens, where do we even start? like, gods forbid any of them have a proper support system, or at least be able to express their feelings and deal with them in a healthy manner!
2. liu qingge x reader where he gradually stops painfully pining and gets the love that he deserves. he gets his pretty face cupped gently and kisses all over it. that's it. that's the fic idea.
3. bingge, the original luo binghe, gets sent back in time.. all the way back to right when his mother died. he believes that he's been given a chance to re-enact his revenge, play it smart all the way from the start and have an upper hand now that he has to relive this! however, that quickly changes when this random fucking person (aka, reader) just wont stop bothering him?? what the hell do they want??? (for this one, i'm not sure if reader should be a transmigrator who believes they're in SVSSS instead of PIDW and is unaware of the whole bingge thing, or just some npc that proves him wrong about kindness).
4. SVSSS hater (or someone who just has a very complicated relationship with it!) reader transmigrates into it after tweeting "stupid author, stupid novels". they then proceed to accidentally collect two husbands they were so actively against before. ugh! now that i'm here, i guess i'll try to help out with their relationship and give my advice so that they won't have so much conflict, ones that were super frustrating to even hear about!! shen qingqiu, that dense ass guy and unhealthily codependent luo binghe! wait, what? what do you mean they both want me to be part of their marriage now??
sincerely, very much inspired by this tweet (reader most likely isn't going to be an anti, though);
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low-key might combine the first and fourth fanfic idea? will make reader gender neutral (or even male!) though. but overall idk. idk if people will even wanna see that at all, man. ok please give thoughts. or not lol
(10-11-23 edit: i'm currently writing the bingge one rn!)
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dollfaceirene · 10 months ago
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irene's 101 guide on how to improve your self concept
hear ye, hear ye! I heard you're tryna improve your self concept but have absolutely no idea where to start so i've made this post to help aid you and hopefully answer your question on the 'how' of improving your self concept.
Firstly, what is your self concept? Your self concept is basically who you perceive youself to be.
For example, if i was to say "do you think you can manifest a sp?" and your response was "ofc not, im not worthy enough" ya da ya da ya, then you perceive yourself as someone who isn't worthy enough for a sp.
Here are some reasons why your self concept may be a lil shaky & how to fix it
You always seek validation from the 3D
As someone who's known about the loa for like 2 years now??, it's basically the unspoken rule to not seek validation from the 3D of your desires materialising because,
a) the 4D (your imagination & inner self) is the cause and the 3D (outer reality) is the effect
b) The 3D = neutral, it will only reflect whatever assumptions, desires, etc that you persist in.
How to fix it?: Become present in your 4D/imagination, thats only what matters. Affirm you only seek validation in your 4D, visualise, etc because at the end of the day, it will always be 4D ➨ 3D, not the other way round!
2 . You easily waver
Wavering = switching between states, Do you find yourself persist in one assumption (one thats the new story) but as soon as you see the opposite in the 3D, you find yourself re-affirming the old story again? Then you're wavering!
How to fix it?: Have some self discipline! Whenever you find yourself affirming the old story, clock it then affirm/visualise, etc whatever correlates to the new story. Remember, the more you repeat the new story, the more the old story becomes dead to you because you will be so used to being fulfilled in the new story, you wont even bat an eye at the old one.
3. You assume you can't manifest 'large' manifestations but others can
C'mon now, nobody is born with ultra special manifestation abilities that make them manifest better than other people, everyone has the same limitless abilities when it comes to the law of assumption, if one person can manifest a mansion, why can't you? You are as capable as manifesting anything as anyone else!
How to fix it?: Honestly just acknowledge that you are among everyone who is a master manifestor, its litch in your DNA to be a master manifestor! I suggest affirming master manifestor-related affirmations to help you be fulfilled in the state of being a master manifestor.
TIPS & ADVICE
You may feel like consuming LOA content is good for helping you and stuff and its honestly fine to read LOA content when you are feeling unsure but it gets overwhelming when you overconsume content since alot of LOA content may contradict each other, as people write their advice based on their on beliefs. This is why i recommend just consuming "back-to-the-basics" typa posts and when you feel content, apply it! (instead of constantly looking from post to post on "how to manifest" when you already know.
2. Affirmation tapes are a GAMEEE CHANGERRRRR! I really recommend Indigo Detry's ones and listen to them when you are doing activities that dont really require concentration (e.g art, reading, etc).
3. If you're looking for good loa youtubers i really recommend Indigio Detry and Manifest it, Finesse it (GOATS FRRR😩😩)
OUTRO
I hope you enjoyed this post and it helped you in any way; please let me know if you have any questions as i would be happy to answer them <3
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conditioned-to-obey · 4 months ago
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Hii i just saw your answer to an ask where you said that patriarchy kinks dont sit well with you, i assume u mean the hypno/bimbo community?
That's at least where i see most of it-
Anyway, i just wanted to say that while i do understand your reasoning engaging in that kind of kink (with trusting and trusted people) has helped me heal so much, so for anyone thats wanting to indulge in it: please make sure you do it with people that you trust and know that they, even if they say they do, dont want to (actually) harm you.
(i dont mean any harm, you and your blog genuinely seem super nice :3)
No, I did not mean the hypno and bimbo community. That ask had nothing to do with either of those things?
To the contrary I've seen plenty of hypno and bimbo content without misogynistic patriarchy undertones.
There is a rather large difference between bimbofication as a means of embracing feminity – or not having to be intelligent as a feminine person to be valued, accepting and appreciating beauty and hyperfeminity, being allowed to be happy and bubbly, choosing kind simple happiness, not being pressured to not enjoy traditionally feminine things and concepts– as opposed to content that bases bimbofication in white, blonde, skinny beauty standards or surgeries only the rich can afford and to the detriment of the bimbo for male gratification. That is where my discomfort lies. It's a personal gripe, I just don't participate in the latter.
To me, anyone can be a hot happy dumb bimbo. That's a real beauty of it. I can very much see how that is beneficial and healing.
I've seen hypno used to assist comfort, release, calm and subspace. Hypno for subs to feel more in tune and in control of their headspaces. One comes to mind is directed towards helping a sub feel more like a puppy. Hypno in the sense that all you must do is let go. Release control and relax back.
Hypnosis on its own itself has been used in plenty therapeutic settings. So, it would be very silly for me to discredit it.
When I say patriarchy and misogyny, I mean male centric regurgitated drivel that if not tagged or marked as kink, may very well just be straight from an incel reddit forum. Most of these blogs don't even have a disclosure or warning stating that they are participating in kink in the first place.
Women being left unsatisfied sexually repressed and boring p in v sex ending as soon as a man cums? Sounds like sad reality for a lot of people to me. One I have heard many times. It just doesn't sound appealing.
This ask is somewhat redundant to me, as that advice you purposed is exactly what advice I said in my original answer. The one you are referring to in the first place. Maybe you should return back and reread it to soak up any context and concepts you may have missed.
I'll reiterate that I stated that it is best to avoid those spaces. In relation to what the original anon was looking for. As most people who are actually misogynistic and truly believe in patriarchy flourish there. Without having to be under the radar the operate in plain sight usually. Hence why my advice was to avoid those spaces if you're starting out and trying to find people you can trust to open up to exploring more taboo and complex play. It is in no means directed as telling anyone what to do, or what is or isn't healing for them as an individual.
Hope this helps. Best of luck.
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torialefay · 11 months ago
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❤️‍🔥 Mercury in Libra 🪫
bangchan as your boyfriend series!!! (pt 5)
(based on astrology) 🔞
✨bangchan x reader (f); angsty sad times, little fluff if you try
✨word count: ~3.1k
✨5th and final part in chan’s astrology series!!! together, let’s take a look into chan’s natal chart to see what type of boyfriend he would be!
✨i will give a brief synopsis of what each chart placement means throughout the series (for all my non-astrology friends out there <3) and how that would affect channie in a relationship
✨ author’s notes:
(1) i do brief compatibility readings w/ skz members! if interested, send your natal chart to my inbox, as well as which member you’d like me to read for OR if i think there is one member best suited to you <3
(2) the aspects in this reading are based solely on my opinions and interpretations! nothing about a person is set in stone simply because of astrology. please don’t use anything i say as canon :)
✨warnings: sad plot, theme of unfaithfulness, occasional cursing
✨tl/dr: chan is a loverboy who gets caught up in flirting when he doesn’t even know he’s flirting. then he ends up a blubbering mess.
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Mercury in Libra:
-Mercury is the planetary ruler of communication and intellect. It shows how you connect with others throughout everyday life, just in speaking with them. It can also tell you a lot about how you relate to others and interpret the information they give you.
-Libra is a cardinal sign, meaning that people who are in this placement REALLY live by the aspects associated with that placement- in other words, chan is likely to hold very true to these values.
-Libra is the sign of love, beauty, charm, and balance. Libra in Mercury has a few key traits when it comes to communication. They are natural charmers and can instantly make people like them simply by talking with them. Libras are very good at placating to what others want, so they can speak to you in a way that they tell you what you want to hear. Libras also love beauty, so they many times will have an elegant way of speaking or cute quirks and mannerisms. Lastly, Libras value harmony and balance, so most likely their communication style will either (1) mimic yours, or (2) counter yours to be able to reach a happy medium.
-Long story short: Mercury in Libra people are sweet talkers who can charm anyone they meet, make them feel special, and meet them at the communication level that they are in. HOWEVER, the downside to Libra in Mercury is that they do not like confrontation- so they are likely going to avoid any conversations that could disrupt the peace between them and that person.
As your boyfriend:
• Chan always supports you exactly how you need him to.
◦ Had a bad day? He understands, come lay on him and talk about it.
◦ Upset over a test score? Scores are stupid, he’s gonna buy you ice cream and let you rant about how ridiculous it was.
◦ Got into a yelling match with a close friend? Hold his hands and talk him through it. He wants to know how he can help.
• He adapts to what you need in that moment- if you need someone to listen, he will sit there with an open ear. If you need advice on what to do, he will analyze every option and patiently walk you through what he thinks is best.
• If you get really frustrated or angry over something, he will 100% come up behind you and bear hug you, shaking you around until you give in and put a smile on your face.
• “Come here and talk to me,” he says, pulling you down to sit on his lap.
• He loves talking about deep things with you, like the meaning of life. It makes him feel so lucky to have such a smart significant other.
• He stares at you in awe as you talk about things you’re passionate about. Even if he genuinely doesn’t care about the topic, he holds on to every word, thinking of how cute you are in this moment.
• He remembers every little story you tell him about your childhood. When you bring up a long-gone aunt, uncle, grandparent, etc., he says “Oh, the one you told me about who ___?” You always smile at how he remembers these little things.
• Chan knows that you’re mad. He ALWAYS knows.
• He can tell in the way that you don’t instinctively turn your knees towards him in the car and when you don’t automatically reach for his hand when you walk next to him.
• He may not know why you’re mad, but he does know that you are.
• What he has a really hard time with is addressing it.
• He’s been trying for days to make up for it- whatever it is.
• Every day, he starts with “Good morning beautiful.” And every night, he finishes with “Good night princess.” Making sure you didn’t feel unloved.
• He’s been doing extra housework- cooking, cleaning, finishing up odd jobs you’d asked about a month ago. Could that be it?
• He’s been putting his foot down at work, leaving every night 5 PM to make sure he gets to spend the evenings with you. Maybe that’s what this is about- maybe you just missed spending time with him.
• Chan doesn’t know what’s wrong, and nothing he’s done so far has changed anything.
• He was hoping that his efforts would change your attitude toward him, or even make you forget about it, but he just couldn’t understand why you weren’t letting up. Why you weren’t letting him in as closely as you once had. Why things were so good, but now they are so different.
• All he knows now is that he is hopelessly in love with you, but it seems like you don’t feel the same anymore.
• You both sat together on the couch for a while. You thought Chan wouldn’t notice as you slowly inched yourself away from him, more slowly as the minutes passed.
• But he knew. He tried to reason that something was wrong. He didn’t want to push for an answer yet for fear of learning one that he wished he wouldn’t have.
• You continued to scroll on your phone, mind-numbingly on the ‘X’ app. This was a habitual routine, but one you decided you needed to break.
• There were a lot of great posts on there, but there was a lotttt about your boyfriend on there as well. One more unwanted post you knew would send you into a spiral.
• But you couldn’t help yourself. You had to know.
• You scrolled through the hashtag on the app. “#bangchan” splayed across the search bar.
• Cute photos and gifs. Adorable collages. Sexy TikTok edits. The usual. It took you probably 10 minutes of scrolling before you found something that got you ticked off again.
• ‘Every goddamn time,’ you thought, as your scoffed and rolled your eyes. You stared down at the video playing on the phone, as if this was the first one you’d ever seen.
• The caption of the video:
“how cute is #bangchan looking flirting with #fem/idol 😭🥰”.
• You focused on the interaction on the screen. There was Chan at the award show last night, leaning in and whispering something into fem/idol’s ear. When he pulled back, he looked down at her with a big smile, and you could see her reciprocate by blushing intensely and batting her eyelashes back up at him. You watched as he continued to talk for a few moments, laughing and offering up big hand gestures before saying goodbye, making sure to fully catch her eyes and bow as he went.
• You quickly scrolled underneath to the comment section, hoping that someone would say something- anything- to make you feel better.
◦ “God I wish he would look at me that way 🤭”
◦ “omfg she’s so pretty id def have chan’s reaction too”
◦ “Crying 😭😭 When do you think they’ll announce that they’re together? ❤️”
• You swiped out of the app entirely, shutting your phone off afterwards and placing it in your lap. You continued to stare down at the black screen until you felt tears start to well up in your eyes.
• You quickly tried to blink them away, but you couldn’t help it. This was the third time THIS week that you’d seen him do shit like this. Smiling, blushing, and heavily complimenting one girl, helping another fix her shoe, and now this. Before, you could reason it away- chuck it up to him just being a “nice guy.” But you couldn’t keep doing that forever.
• You always saw the comments people left under the videos about how cute they would be together and how Chan would be the perfect boyfriend.
• ‘But little do they know,’ you thought as you sighed.
• You turned your legs along with your body fully toward the other side of the couch, opposite of where Chan was. You looked a bit ridiculous facing the other way, but you didn’t care. You didn’t want to see his face. You couldn’t stand to.
• You let your mind wonder, repeating the video in your head. The way he looked at her and the way she looked back.
• ‘Am I stupid?… Have I been stupid this whole time?…’
• You thought back to when you first decided to make things official with him, and how you both agreed that it would be easier to not publicize the relationship. You didn’t want anyone coming in the way of what you have together.
• ‘Was that my first mistake? So he can date me in secret and go out and flirt with any other idol he wants?’
• Your mind drifted to each other interaction you’d seen with him. You had make excuses time and time before. But it hurt to see him like this. Your OWN boyfriend talking to another girl the way that he SHOULD be seen talking to you.
• You couldn’t help yourself as one tear escaped. Then two, then three. Before you knew it, there was a release of waterworks all down your face. Your mind got the best of you as you started sobbing into your hands, burying your face into the side of the couch. There was nothing you could do to stop yourself.
• “Baby?” Chan called. His response was met only with more tears.
• “Baby, what is it? What’s wrong?” he asked, scooting his whole body next to yours to hold your back.
• “Get off of me!” you lashed out. He looked confused for a moment, but released his grip from you.
• “Honey, please talk to me. What’s wrong?” he asked, genuine sadness on his face.
• Hearing him call you pet names, all while pulling shit like he just had, completely set you off. “Don’t call me that.” You straightened back up in your seat, slightly turning toward him, not daring to look him in the face.
• “Don’t call you what?”
• “Honey, baby, whatever. You don’t get to call me that anymore.”
• “Y/n, what is going on? Seriously?” He placed his face in front of yours and used his hands to move your shoulders around to face him. This is the first time he could see how red and puffy your face had become. He felt like a piece of him had broken off just looking at you.
• “What’s going on?” you cried. “I don’t know Chris, why don’t you tell me what’s going on.” You quickly unlocked your phone, the video still open on it. You dropped the phone down to him as you stood, then taking a couple of steps to get some distance.
• He watched the video, moving his head around as if he was studying it. He replayed it a couple of times, then turned it intently, like he was looking for a hidden message. But he could find none. He furrowed his brow, then looked back up at you with a stare of confusion.
• You scoffed. “Okay. So you see nothing wrong with that?”
• “With what? Talking to another girl?!”
• “FLIRTING with another girl, Christopher! Flirting!… I’m not stupid! This is the THIRD video I’ve seen like this in a week. Do you know how humiliating it feels to have to see you, who was supposed to be the love of my life, out here flirting with all these other idols THROUGH SOCIAL MEDIA.. AND THEN having people comment on top of it about how you two would be ‘just the cutest couple ever’! Do you have any idea how that feels?!”
• You saw him get a tinge of sadness in his eyes, but you cut him off before he could speak.
• “No, you know what? I KNOW you don’t know how this feels. Because I would NEVER think to look at another man the way that I look at you.. So you know what!? If you’re that interested in other girls, you can go for it! By alllll means, don’t let me stop you!” You could feel steam coming off of yourself.
• You didn’t even want to hear what he had to say, you just wanted to get out of there. He could have his idol life. Do whatever the fuck he wanted. He had you fooled for a while, but now you saw him for who he was. A liar. Wants his cake and eats it too. But not with you anymore.
• You turned on your heels to leave, thinking you’d go ahead and pack an overnight bag to head out. As you took your first step, you felt a grasp and a tug on your wrist in the opposite direction.
• You stumbled back, feeling him cling to your hand, then pull the top of your body slightly as he stood himself up. By the time he settled, he had you back facing right in front of him with your one hand in his.
• “Y/n, please don’t say that. Please, just listen to me,” he begged, eyes bigger than you’d ever seen them.
• “Listen to what? Listen to you explain how it’s okay to flirt while you’re in a relationship?”
• “That wasn’t flirting!”
• “Oh really, then what do you call that?!”
• “I was just being nice! I thought-” his voice cracked, tears starting to well up in his eyes. “I thought I was-“ he hung his head to the side. “I thought I was being nice!” He looked so defeated.
• And just like that, he started sobbing. Tears were streaming down his face like you’d never seen before. So powerful, they left visible marks even on his black shirt. He kept trying to get words out through his cries.
• ”Baby, I- I’m so sorry, I didn’t know,” he cried. “I didn’t know it would come across like that… I would NEVER,” he genuinely could not contain himself as he strained to get the words out. “I would NEVER do that to you! I could never think of someone else like that.”
• Teardrops kept trickling down as he reached to grab your other hand into his. “I love you- only you! I could never flirt with someone else! But the fact that I made you feel like that- that that’s what it looked like to you…” he couldn’t even see anymore with the water flowing out of himself. “I am just so sorry… Y/n I’m so sorry! Please, please believe me.” He was getting choked now. His face was red like he was about to pass out from lack of air.
• You stood still, not knowing yet what to believe or what to say.
• “Baby please! Please,” he took your face in his hands, feeling of the few stray tears on your own face. “Please. I love you. Please don’t shut me out. I thought I was just being nice and I- I-… I’ve..” he huffed, struggling to get out what he wanted to say. “I’ve done the last thing I ever wanted to do. I would never intentionally hurt you, do you understand me?!” He tried his best to look into your eyes. All you could see were tears weeping out, redness shooting in all directions, and a look of absolute brokenness. “I promise I never meant to come across that way. I thought I was just being nice to her, that is ALL. YOU are the only person I care about. No one else means anything to me. Without you, I am NOTHING. Please baby, please listen to me. Please don’t leave me. I’ll do anything to make this right.”
• He continued to wail as he brought his arms around your body, resting his head on the side of yours. His tears began to soak down into your hair. There was still nothing you could say. I mean, what could you say? Your boyfriend was notorious for being a charming guy… But knowing that didn’t make this situation any easier.
• “Please baby,” he rubbed your head as he plead. “Please just tell me how to fix it and I will. I don’t want you to ever feel that way again.” You felt the water from his eyes now drench your hair entirely. “I PROMISE if you show me what I’m doing wrong, I will never do it again. I promise I will be perfect for you. Just tell me how. I will do ANYTHING! I am BEGGING, y/n!”
• He stood there, holding you as tightly as he could while cradling your head and trying to quieten his sobs. He waited for you to give him some sort of response. Good, bad, ANYTHING was better than nothing. He felt his heart physically break inside his chest when you remained silent, not even motioning to begin getting a word out.
• He slowly pulled his face away from your hair, coming up to face directly into you one last time. His whole face was swollen, pink cheeks now extended into a pink nose and pink ears, streaks of both new and old teardrops going in every direction.
• “Y/n please,” he begged. “Just tell me something… Anything.” He felt like the floor could drop from under him any moment. A gnawing pit formed in his stomach that he felt was going to jump out of his throat while waiting to hear you.
• You stood still for another moment, moving your eyes down and contemplating what you could even say at this point. Your emotions were so mixed.
• “I love you so much. Please know that,” tears still in his eyes, he leaned down to kiss you. It was wet and you could feel the desperation in the intensity he moved his lips over yours. You leaned into it the slightest bit, giving him most minute sense of hope. He clung onto the kiss with everything he could, throwing his lips further into yours before you felt the tears start to slowly separate you again. He pulled his lips off of yours with violent hesitancy.
• He whispered now, as if he didn’t want anyone else in the world to hear him. “Please teach me what you want. Say the word, and I will do it...” small tears now were the only ones coming out. “I would give up everything for you, y/n. Money, fame, anything. Please just teach me what you want…. Please-” he cried, “please don’t leave me.”
• wellll, I’ll let you decide what your fate is with chan 🤭 to forgive or not to forgive?
• ohhh the world of a mercury in libra
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If you enjoyed, please consider liking, commenting, or re-blogging <3
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