#if anakin wants to stay married to padme he can damn well leave the order to do it

[antianakin]

@kine-iende

I feel like I'm kicking a hornet's nest by answering this, but what is this blog for if not controversial opinions on things.

Just as a quick disclaimer, Soft Wars is obviously a FAN WORK, so I am not trying to attack the author of this series for their chosen interpretations of things, their characterization choices, etc by stating my opinions on this. Everyone is allowed their own opinions and interpretations and tastes and I applaud this work for the well-written epic that it is and the clear impact it's had on the fandom as a whole.

TL;DR at the end under the cut.

With that out of the way, I think it does some things REALLY REALLY WELL, and some things that I like considerably less. As this reply says, it's really high quality writing with some interpretations of characters I don't personally like or agree with (I won't say they're "bad" because just because I don't like something doesn't make it bad).

Firstly, I really love the way Soft Wars chooses to portray the clones, the focus it has on them already HAVING a chosen culture before the Jedi that they've created amongst themselves, a lot of their own independence, and the strong and unique relationships between the different clone characters. Cody does not feel like he could be replaced with Fox or Ponds or Bly and be effectively the same character, for example. They also all have such unique relationships among each other and with their main Jedi counterparts which was really interesting to see. I love me a niche pairing sometimes.

I particularly love the way Fox and Ponds' relationship played out as someone who identifies as asexual and at least a little aromantic, too. I also really like the way Obi-Wan's sensitivity to touch is handled within his relationship with Cody and how respectful Cody is of that, it's one of my favorite aspects of that relationship in Soft Wars.

That being said, I'm not the BIGGEST fan of the way the Jedi are portrayed all the time. Sometimes it's really great, and I do like it! It's by no means ANTI Jedi, there is no virulent hatred aimed at the Jedi in the narrative. But it absolutely falls into the category of showcasing the Jedi as repressed and somewhat complacent and if they just were a little more Mandalorian, a little more like Anakin, they could've saved themselves from genocide and they'd just be generally happier and healthier people.

This obviously makes itself MOST known with the way the relationship between Rex and Anakin (and Obi-Wan to some degree) gets treated. Rex becomes like Anakin's replacement father-figure because Obi-Wan just didn't quite hit the mark well enough because he's too much of a Jedi and doesn't cater to Anakin's specific needs which is why Anakin falls for Palpatine's manipulations so much. Rex's blatant dislike of Obi-Wan which he BARELY keeps in check and which everybody is aware of because he blames Obi-Wan for Anakin being kind-of a selfish juvenile shithead is... certainly a take on that relationship. Rex tends to give Anakin a lot of advice that I personally see as just obvious normal Jedi philosophy and values as though it's clearly something Anakin wouldn't have learned from the Jedi already.

I'm also not a huge fan of the way Obi-Wan's relationship to Cody plays out in conjunction with the "pledge" to Cody as vod'alor. The fact that Obi-Wan DOESN'T pledge himself to Cody AS A POLITICAL LEADER somehow ends up meaning Obi-Wan doesn't love Cody enough and it's only when Obi-Wan chooses Cody OVER THE JEDI that Obi-Wan is truly... freed? Unrepressed? On his way to a happier way of living life because now he's willing to be in a more typical committed relationship and that's the only way to have a healthy relationship? Obi-Wan choosing Cody and the clones over the Jedi is also what ultimately gets Rex to decide Obi-Wan's not a TOTAL piece of shit and can be saved from his unhealthy toxic Jedi ways.

Then there's Cody apparently blaming MACE for the clones' situation within the GAR. Like I get that the clones would've believed the Jedi had ordered them and all that, but he's literally in a relationship with Obi-Wan who is ON THE COUNCIL and was the one to discover Kamino and the clones and could 1000% tell Cody the truth, and Cody is not presented as though he's kind-of dim and unintelligent or too stubborn to accept the truth, so it feels strange that Cody would hate Mace because he thinks Mace is the reason the clones are "enslaved" to the Republic or whatever. But I will mention here that Mace IS portrayed positively, Cody's dislike of Mace and his choice to blame Mace for their situation is NOT universal since we see a really lovely friendship between Mace and Ponds, so it's not like Mace is at all villainized. It just feels like a strange opinion for Cody to have, especially since it really only makes an appearance once and never gets explored again to my knowledge and Cody's blame seems to rest SOLELY on Mace, not the Jedi or the Council at large.

I don't like the way the Council gets sort-of villainized as a governing body even if its individual members are sometimes treated positively outside of it, specifically through them being pitted against Anakin in particular for no obvious reason. The Deception arc is interpreted as the Council ORDERING Obi-Wan to fake his death and then lie to Anakin about it, when it's stated really really clearly in the episode that the Council itself (or at least Yoda and probably Mace too) don't actually think lying to Anakin is the best idea but that Obi-Wan himself insisted on it for several different reasons, both strategic and personal. Obi-Wan specifically says the Council wants him to "break" Anakin, when a) it's not the Council's idea to begin with in canon, and b) that's not even what Obi-Wan's TRYING to do with this choice in canon.

This theme of pitting the Council against Anakin also comes up in a fic where Obi-Wan "allows" the Council to force Anakin to help Quinlan learn how to go undercover as a slave. It's pointed out by Cody that Quinlan is a perfectly good undercover agent and so he either shouldn't have NEEDED assistance from anyone in figuring out how to act the part or he should have other friends he could go to that could help him learn more that just... aren't Anakin (why it's a better idea to ask a different former slave for advice rather than Anakin who is a trained Jedi with access to mental health care and a lot of support just because Anakin is Anakin and so he's special does not get addressed). The implication here is that the Council just doesn't care about Anakin enough to utilize these options if it's quicker and easier to just use Anakin.

I don't like the way Ki-Adi Mundi is portrayed in Soft Wars, although I have seen a few posts on the author's page about this kind-of addressing some of the critique about the way Ki-Adi is written which... helps. Ki-Adi is apparently someone who gets a LOT of fandom hate for some reason, I assume it's a Legends thing since he's pretty minor in high canon and all of his scenes are pretty generic kindly old man stuff. Since this seems like something that's gotten discussed and brought up a bunch by other people I'm not going to dwell on it.

Soft Wars DOES undo the entire Tusken massacre because it recognizes that's something you either just undo or have to address and deal with and they went with the easier option of just saving Shmi and letting him not massacre an entire village of people down to the last child. I don't have any strong feelings on this honestly, it's clearly the only real way to pretend Anakin's not an irredeemable piece of shit by the time of the Clone Wars. Also the entire point of Soft Wars is to save everybody from death, so saving Shmi is kind-of a necessary thing to do.

You could probably also categorize Soft Wars as one of those stories that acts like if Anakin had just gotten one more lecture from someone about what attachment actually means or that the Jedi actually CAN love blah blah blah that it would've suddenly saved him from going Sith. It's not particularly accurate to how Anakin is written in canon, but it's pretty common to how people who really like Anakin and sympathize with him and relate to him like to write him as a character.

All in all, Soft Wars is exactly what it says it is. It's soft. It's soft towards Anakin, it's soft towards the clones, it's soft towards the war and the worldbuilding. It's definitely worth a read just for the way it handles the clone worldbuilding and the clear impact it has had on the way the clones have been written in fic ever since. At this point, I don't regret reading it but I also don't go back to it very often anymore and there's a reason I didn't rec Soft Wars in my Pro-Jedi Codywan rec list lol.

TL;DR: Soft Wars is not what I would consider fully Pro-Jedi but nor is it anywhere near virulently anti-Jedi and it has some really neat writing for the clones while obviously being really pro-Anakin Skywalker to the point of smoothing out most of his more uncomfortable flaws to make him a more sympathetic and likable character.

[tennessoui]

Mobi wan stressing about Anakin wanting to leave him (both before and after they get married) and then kuwsk obi wan stressing about Anakin wanting to move out (both the Thanksgiving incident and the router incident) like man being afraid of being left behind is really an integral part of the infinite sadness and I am feeling it bigtime

🥺 oh no you're right this is part of infinite sadness and that's really sad 🥺🥺 i have this sorta related scene from KUWSK that's planned out where Anakin and Obi-Wan (post final kiss in the classroom) talk about their relationship going forward now that they know they're in love and it's a relief but it's also just all new kinds of vulnerable.

This was supposed to be a snippet and in Kit fashion it's 1.3 words i blame the fact that i was listening to @usetheforce 's beautiful KUWSK playlist . Anyway this is an exposition on the fear of being left behind something something how love is trusting the person you love that they won't leave you, even if you don't know why 🥺

Obi-Wan feels silly for having his arms crossed. It's not like this is a fight. They're not fighting. They're telling each other their secrets. They're telling each other their dreams, their hopes, their feelings. It's not a fight, but Obi-Wan feels like his crossed arms are the only thing holding his body together.

Anakin doesn't look much better. He's staring resolutely down at the carpet between his feet. He's sprung for a nice hotel room for this. He's also sprung for a double, probably so Obi-Wan doesn't feel pressured.

All Obi-Wan feels is love for this man, hopeless, endearing, enduring love.

But Anakin is right. Love is one thing. A kiss in a classroom with an audience is one thing.

Attempting to rearrange their entire lives--that's another thing. There are people at stake. The twins. There's more here than love. There's so much that can go wrong.

Anakin knows that too, that's why he hasn't looked Obi-Wan in the eye since he stuttered out his own version of I'm in love with you.

That's why they're here in this nice hotel room, thirty minutes from home. That's why they're doing this here and not in the house, so if this doesn't--if they can't--if they decide not to--

Then hopefully they won't think about this moment every time they step through the front door.

If they stand on the precipice and decide to walk backwards, to not fall off that ledge, then they still need to be able to return home. They still need to be able to look each other in the eyes.

Obi-Wan’s said his bit. Obi-Wan’s said everything he knows how to say. I’m in love with you, for a start. You have given me more than I have ever thought I wanted, let alone needed. But the truth was I needed all of it. I still do. I have a home now. That’s priceless. There’s no equivalent that I can give you in exchange. Everything I am and will be and have become is already yours. Because I love you and I had not even noticed because it just made sense. Loving you has always made more sense than not loving you.

Not in those words, of course.

But Obi-Wan’s said his bit, and Anakin’s said his too, and now there’s no more secrets.

There’s just a decision to make.

Obi-Wan uncrosses his arms and sits on the end of the bed next to Anakin, two feet of space between them. “So then,” he says.

“Do we?” Anakin finishes the thought, half-turning towards Obi-Wan to throw him a sad little smirk.

“Yes,” Obi-Wan admits. “Do we?”

“Is it bad that a huge part of me wants to say. Let’s do it. Damn the future?” Anakin asks with a huff of a laugh.

“Of course not,” Obi-Wan reassures him, reaching across the bed to rest a hand on his knee. “I would say that I understand the impulse. Damn the future. I love you. You love me--” he says these words wondrously. He still can’t quite believe they’re true, that Anakin means them the same way Obi-Wan does. “Let’s move in together.”

Anakin shoots him an incredulous look and lets out a genuine snort. “But I know...we shouldn’t do that.”

Obi-Wan fights his every impulse to retract his hand from Anakin’s knee. He knows the words have a certain truth to them. He knows what Anakin’s thinking of. He knows he has a point. It still hurts to hear. “We need to talk about it,” he says diplomatically.

“Talk about it?” Anakin sounds hurt. “Why? We both already know. What if--what if we were to--to date, to try and make this work and then we can’t? Obi-Wan, the twins love you. They love you. They’re--you’re their other parent. They need a stable home environment, they--if we--if we try and we can’t do it, then what happens to them? What happens to you and them?”

They’re worries that Obi-Wan has thought of himself ever since the kiss this morning. But it feels different to hear them in Anakin’s voice, to hear them spoken out loud. If Obi-Wan and Anakin dated and then broke up, they probably couldn’t continue living together. Obi-Wan tries to imagine living with Satine in the months following the divorce papers being signed, but he can’t.

He knows people do it. He knows himself well enough to know that he wouldn’t be able to. If Anakin were to break up with him--the only way Obi-Wan can imagine their relationship ending--Obi-Wan would need months if not years before he was able to look him in the eye again. If ever, actually.

If Anakin were to break up with him--to hold everything Obi-Wan is in his hands and cast it aside for something else, like Satine had, like...like his father had, then Obi-Wan would not be able to see him everyday without breaking down into tears and begging him for a second chance, for a detailed list of all the things that he did wrong, all the things about himself that were so wrong that no one can stand to stay for long.

“If,” Anakin says, breaking the silence when it’s clear Obi-Wan isn’t going to say anything. “If we try and then you...you leave, I don’t--”

He stops himself and clears his throat, shaking his head and looking down at his hands. “Obi-Wan, it’d break my heart.”

Obi-Wan stares at him for a second, confused and mouth slightly open. Anakin sounds as if he’s operating under some serious misconceptions.

As if Obi-Wan would be the one to leave. Obi-Wan can’t imagine there’s anything Anakin could ever do in order to make him want to leave. It’s Anakin. Seven months ago, before Obi-Wan even realized he was in love with the man, he’d gotten wine drunk with Padme Amidala and asked her quite insistently how the fuck she could have turned Anakin down, not once--but twice.

It’s Anakin.

And if...if Anakin is half as sure as he sounds that the only way they would ever break up is if Obi-Wan decided to leave, then...then maybe it’s worth jumping off that precipice. Damn the future.

But Obi-Wan thinks maybe this future won’t be so bad at all.

It’s a strange kind of numb bravery that has him moving his hand from Anakin’s knee to his palm. “Anakin,” he says quietly, and he feels as if he’s watching this happen from someone else’s point of view. Surely this isn’t Obi-Wan Kenobi about to put his heart firmly and resolutely into another’s hands. Not after last time.

But the truth is, it’s been there for years already. It’s about trust. It’s about trusting Anakin to always think that Obi-Wan could leave and never entertain the possibility that he could.

“Anakin,” he says again, until Anakin looks up at him from beneath his lashes. It’s suddenly not enough for him. He wants closer. He wants his turn to kiss Anakin and mean it.

He leans slowly in, raising his other hand to tilt Anakin’s chin up to meet his mouth. He’s giving Anakin plenty of room to move away, but Anakin doesn’t. Anakin stays.

Maybe it’s time they start giving each other more credit for that.

He feels his eyelashes flutter closed just as his lips touch Anakin’s so carefully it’s hardly a kiss at all. Butterfly wings have more substance than this kiss, but Obi-Wan would not change it for the world. Anakin needs to know they can go slow, that they can be gentle with each other. Anakin needs to know that Obi-Wan will never hurt him.

Anakin needs to know that--

“If I were capable of ever, ever leaving you,” Obi-Wan murmurs, pulling back until their lips are just brushing with every word and opening his eyes just enough to see the perfect picture Anakin makes like this, “I would have done so when Luke was going through that phase where he insisted upon only eating orange foods.”

Anakin’s eyes flutter open in shock and then the words register, and the meaning behind them does as well. Slowly, a sort of breathless smile breaks across his face.

It’s the most beautiful thing Obi-Wan has ever seen.

[lukeleiahan]

I suddenly remembered that Anakin canonically did not know of Padme's pregnancy until she was what? In the eighth month or something? (The timeline of ROTS is, as many a Star Wars movie timeline, incredibly confusing and frustrating). But the point is, now I have a mighty need for an AU where for some reason the whole save Palpatine mission in the beginning of ROTS was given to other Jedi and Anakin and Obi-Wan don't return to Coruscant until Padme has already had the twins. I mean, think about it!

no Anakin murdering Dooku (not sure what happens to Dooku in this AU, actually, he might have been killed in the fighting by the unspecified other Jedi who had to rescure Palps, or he might still be running around)

it's actually I think Bail Organa who finally organizes for Anakin and Obi-Wan to come home to Coruscant because Bail knows about the secret marriage and he knows about the twins and he is the best friend ever and he can organize things like this without it raising too many questions

(this, among other things, like his ongoing help during the pregnancy and the long friendship he and Padme share, earns him godfather status for Leia)

so, Anakin comes home, and is greeted by Padme similar to canon, only the thing she is about to tell him is not that she's pregnant, it's that he's a father

so, with Bail deliberately distracting Obi-Wan and the other Jedi, she ushers him to their home where Dorme is babysitting and is like.... surprise! Look at out babies!

Anakin has to sit down. Hard. And he is not getting up any time soon. Babies? His babies with Padme?!? This does not compute.

Padme, who has had a whole pregnancy and the, like, two weeks it's been since the birth to get used to this, is giggling, which is not very helpful (Dorme has discreetly left the room and is like, cancelling all Padme's appointments for the day, because she's the best)

eventually, she hands him the on of the babies, and sits down next to him with the other, and for a second that stops him from gaping, and then he looks at them and feels them in the Force and is back to gaping, because oh dear, they are perfect, and they are theirs, and it's very sweet and loving and a very nice family moment

the first day is just spend looking at the twins in wonder

(and Anakin insisting that Padme rest, it's only been two weeks since the birth, he wasn't there to help, pregnancy is dangerous, Force he's worried. She laughs but let's him fuss)

then however they have to start actively thinking about the future

because they love the twins but this was not planned and what are they going to do?

Padme has not announced the birth of the twins yet

Anakin tells her he's going to leave the order. He has something other than the order to live for, now, something more important, and he desperately wants to be a good father

Padme insists that she can't retire, though, because the Republic is on the brink of falling and she needs to stop it

also they're both not sure it is the best idea for Anakin to stop being a general in the war with the way things are going

but Anakin also genuily doesn't want to be away from the twins any second longer than he has to and Padme really likes the idea of him being home more often

eventually they decide to announce the birth of the twins as only Padme's kids, making them Luke and Leia Naberrie Amidala, and to hold of until the end of the war to announce the marriage and Anakin's paternity, but to try and make sure Anakin stays on Coruscant as much as possible

(meanwhile, it's been like two days, and Bail is really wondering how much longer he is capable of holding up the distraction, he's down to small talk here, this is bad)

the dreams about Padme dying in child birth are unsettling, but also obviously untrue, because it happened and Padme is clearly fine, so Anakin has a much easier time ignoring them. Much less grounds for manipulations by Palps due to that and due to Anakin not murdering Dooku

Bail babysits a lot, he's the best at it. The handmaidens, too. Mon is not quite as good as them but she tells them lots about rebublic law until they fall asleep. Obi-Wan gets brought in, too, and doesn't even try to pretend he doesn't know they're Anakin's babies. He glares in Anakin's general direction the whole time. He knows nothing about babies! What if he breaks them? There was a reason behind the code!

The fact that Anakin is the twins father eventually becomes like, this completely open secret in both the order and the senate, but most people are too polite to bring it up, and anyway, there's a war going on, people have bigger problems

(aside from the tabloids. The tabloids have a field day with this)

due to the twins paternity being more or less common knowledge, the Jedi council gets their heads out of their asses long enough to realize that sending Anakin to spy on Palps might be a bad idea

also someone with sense in the council decides that maybe Anakin staying on Coruscant is not that bad an idea (I feel like it was Depa Billaba. She seems sensible. She glares at her old master Mace until he relents and helps her, and that’s how Depa Billaba saves the universe, her padawan Caleb Dume will later insist)

at the same time, Obi-Wan is twitching every time he thinks about it, but he makes a point to stay near Anakin, because, okay, Anakin is an adult and a general and should be old enough to be trusted not to do anything stupid without adult supervision, but he also though Anakin and Padme were old enough not to do things like get secretly married and start a family in the middle of a war, and here they are, so obviously he's going to have to stay here to make sure Anakin doesn't do anything even more stupid

Anakin is happy because all his family is here! Only Ahsoka is missing!

Ahsoka actually comes to Coruscant, too, when she hears about the Amidala twins. She is a bit shocked at first, but makes up for it with lots of snarky commentary and babysitting. She's the absolute best auntie/older sister. Anakin is absolutely delighted

all that extra time with Padme and Bail and their strong political opinions and arguments for democracy, plus the fact that once Palps starts creeping around the twins Anakin actually realizes how creepy it is, combines to an Anakin who does not fall

Palps keeps putting of pulling the trigger on Order 66 because he was hoping for Anakin to be his apprentice by then, damn it, this pregnancy was supposed to be his final piece of seduction, but instead it's bringing Anakin farther and farther away from him?

Problem for him is that now there are Anakin, Obi-Wan and Ahsoka on Coruscant, not distracted by the war that much, deliberately staying on Coruscant but also not that busy when they're not looking after the twins

they look through old files and stumble across the chips

you would not believe their righteous fury

with the help of Padme and Bail and Mon and their allied senators as well as Shaak Ti they quietly deprogram the clones and disable all the chips

then Padme and Bail and Mon use their evidence to dethrone Palps

(it's Padme who calls for the vote of no confidence. It was her who got him the chancellorship through this years before, so it's fitting for her to be the one who takes it away from him now with the very same means)

(Bail is elected chancellor. His first move is to initiate peace talks, and to prepare laws that will prevent future chancellors from amassing power like Palps did)

(Mon more or less accidentally becomes the main spokesperson for clone rights. They all are passionate about the clones being given full rights, but … this woman would lead a terrorist group in another universe. She has a talent for talking to soldiers, even though she does not know why)

peace comes more quickly than anyone anticipated, especially once Dooku flips on Palps and gives a full statement to the senate

Anakin leaves the order before the twins first birthday, and is very happy to be a stay at home dad to the twins and a trophy husband to his awesome senator wife

everyone gets lots of therapy and a happy ending

[parkkrys]

Can I request 22 for RexObi??? Eeeeeeeeeee

I have probably rewritten this at least five times hahaha. Hope you like it! Sorry for any grammar mistakes!

It wasn’t that he isn’t thrilled that Anakin is getting married. He was really, it was more the fact that Anakin had the idea to make sure that he was involved in the wedding as much as possible. Which meant he did all the planning, help pick a venue, the colours of the wedding, the music, the organizing, keeping up with all the meltdowns, helped Padme pick a dress with Ahsoka, ordering the food and flowers.

There were days he wondered if he was the one getting married.

But the day has arrived and he only had to calm Anakin down once but as he stood there, watching his step brother say his vows to Padme, he felt pride. He was proud of Anakin. He made a mental note in his mind, telling himself that he should actually tell Anakin before everyone was moved to the reception hall.

Only problem was that he actually never got to see his step brother throughout the entire evening. Even worse was if he had to go through one more awkward conversation he was going to say screw it and attempt to drink the entire bar dry for his sanity. It should very well be in his rights considering he was the one to keep the open bar idea in the first place.

“Were you forced to be here too?”

Jerking, Obi-Wan turned his head to be greeted by tanned skin, blonde hair and brown eyes. “Pardon?”

“Forced to be here?”

“Oh.” He blinked, taking a moment before he realized that he was being rude. “I mean Oh! No, I am the grooms step brother.” He rushed out, feeling his face burn in embarrassment. It didn’t get any better as the stranger in front of him just raised a brow, the corner of his mouth lifting in amusement.

“You must be Obi-Wan then. I heard a lot about you.”

“Good things I hope.” He hoped it was only good things, but if this man knew Anakin it was more likely this man knew all about his mistakes. “You are?”

“Rex. One of Anakin’s friends.” The blonde offered as he leaned back in his chair, brown eyes sweeping over him. Obi-Wan couldn’t stop the smile that pulled at his lips at that.

“Is that so? Then how have I never heard of you before?”

He watched as Rex grinned, leaning over to pick up his glass. “I tend to stay on the quiet rational side.” He answered, shrugging lightly as he tipped his glass back. Obi-Wan grinned as he chuckled lightly.

“You do look familiar now that I think about it.”

“Well I hope so considering that you are buddies with my twin.” Rex snorted and Obi-Wan laughed.

“Cody.”

“Thought he would have mentioned me.”

“Oh he has.” Obi-Wan supplied. “Just never by name. He always called you vod, idiot and once even called you his useless version, but that one stays between us.” He grinned when Rex laughed, not a quiet one but a full grinning one and it did odd things to him.

“That doesn’t surprise me. I don’t usually call him by his name anyway. Must be a sibling thing.”

“Has to be blood related then. I usually refer mine by name unless I am mad, then it gets interesting.”

Rex hummed as he shook his head lightly, fiddling with one of the napkins that Obi-Wan spent twenty minutes deciding which one to choose that matched well with the plates. “I don’t know about you but I hate weddings.”

Obi-Wan groaned as he let his head fall forward. “I used to like them but after this one never again. To much work.”

“Let me guess you did everything.”

He couldn’t contain the sigh that escaped his lips. “He had to have my opinion about everything let’s just leave it at that.”

“Want me to leave you alone to wallow in misery?”

Obi-Wan lifted his head, frowning. “Oh please do stay. I do rather enjoy your company, I was actually thinking about drinking the night away so I can be prepared for what happens tomorrow.”

Rex tilted his head in wonder. “What happens tomorrow?”

“For the past few minutes Anakin has been watching us talk, which means he will be asking a lot of questions tomorrow. Now that he is happy in love, he will be more or less pushing me to find someone.”

“Is that so?”

Nodding mutely, he let his eyes fall onto his empty glass. Why did he bother with getting up for a glass? Oh wait, they won’t let him have an entire bottle that’s why. Damn bartender, he was the reason he was even there.

“What do you want to say to him tomorrow?” Rex asked and when Obi-Wan met his eyes, he noticed how they were just a shade darker and oh how he wanted to see just how dark they can really get. He hummed as he let himself drift closer to the blonde, moving his ankle to wrap around his and he noticed how Rex shivered just the tiniest bit. He could work with this.

He let his eyes flutter, looking up at him through his lashes as he reached over to grab Rex’s glass. “I certainly would love to say I had a great time with a certain blonde, but I am leaving that up to him to decide what he wants.” He whispered, letting the words fall from his lips in a light purr before he leaned back, bringing the glass up to his lips finishing off the drink as he heard Rex’s breath hitch.

“I don’t see why two clearly miserable people can’t have a little fun together and see where it goes from there.”

“I like the way you think Rex.” Obi-wan said with a grin. Well maybe his night isn’t as bad as he thought it would be.

[pumpkin-lith]

Clone Wars Saved...ish

What the hell did I just watch ?

Let’s start by saying that 1) spoilers alert, not necessarily coherent but definitely there, I’ll put on a read more, but unspoiled mobile users, just in case it fails, scroll by and 2) @norcumii had warned me. And yet I didn’t quite expect that because, how could more clones ever be bad !

Oh boy.

Thanks to @shadow-spires for being my emotional support watchbuddy. I needed it more than I thought I would and we’re only three episodes in.

Some context : I’ve watched... only a few episodes of the show before, despite probably being able to give you the plot of all 6 seasons and quote lines and scenes, thanks tumblr and my own love for clones. And I hadn’t really looked at the bad batch half-rendered episodes because I still had trouble with the graphics of the actually finished show, so...

But I was ready for this, for feels, for finding Echo again and, finally, get 66 and murdered by Dave Filoni. Set up a meeting time to watch some eps with shadowspires, fun when there is a twelve hours diff between us and here we go.

Let me tell you, there was a lot of yelling in all caps in the chat side bar...

Trying to keep mostly in order of the episodes :

- WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO KIX��S HAIR ? Why ? Why hair and no more tattoo ??? Is this supposed to be red corsair continuity ? But then WHY IS HE HERE AND NOT ALREADY ABDUCTED ? Is this merch reasons ?

- Two seconds in and WOW I hate the Bad Batch. And this does NOT get better. I’m really tired of the Muscle is Dumb trope, Tech is like a human C3PO which urgh but fine but then KEEP CONSTANT (this is going to be a major point of my yelling), if Hunter says you chatter all the time THEN DO but no, we won’t here a single random fact ever again for three episodes, and Crosshairs chats and snarks a LOT for someone ‘not talkative’. 

- Regs. FUCKING REGS, urgh, I hated that word the INSTANT it was said. Canon isn’t as heavily into the Vode An fanon loves, but WOW fuck that. Strike team or not, you’re not supermen, you have to rely on intel, be supplied, you’re not a bunch of mercenaries, you’re a MILITARY STRIKE TEAM, you must interact with regs a lot so it means you’re a bunch of condescending assholes ALL THE TIME.

-Also fuck 1) that team’s dynamics and 2) the “two teams do not get along” trope, fuck it with a SHOVEL.  1) You’re a Commando Team. In an army three years deep into war. You’re comrades and probably have save each other asses hundred of times. So why can’t you behave ? And I know people do not always get along, or even best friends sometimes irk each other, but, look, consistency, if you think you’re with lesser people because regs (can you tell I’m not over that either), you present a united front and you don’t bitch at your teammates in front of them. 2) YOU ARE MILITARY. Trained for 10+ years, there’s DISCIPLINE there, even a maverick strike team, when Cody is down, you OBEY THE SECOND IN COMMAND. I don’t care if you have a better plan, you TELL the officer, you don’t just tell him to shut up and watch. AND YOU DON’T GET AT EACH OTHER’S THROATS.

-Did I mention I hate everything about Dumb Violent Muscles unable to control himself or follow a plan ?

-Of course the one time we could see Cody in charge, he’s hurt and useless.

-WHY. IS. THE MEDIC. GOSSIPING. INSTEAD OF KEEPING WATCH OVER THE WOUNDED BROTHER ???

AND WHY DOES HE HAVE HAIR DAMMIT

-The tactics Mess out of order :  Why is nobody blowing stuff up, a group able to single handedly take on 100+ droids is getting pushed back by thirty later on, why not trap the outpost to blow up the incoming droids, the analytical droid cannot comprehend why the clones would leave the outpost while in full view of the cyber center and it has to be pointed out to him, WHY DID NOBODY TRAP THE FUCKING OUTPOST TO BLOW, why does the tech guy LITERALLY NAMED TECH doesn’t hide/erase what they did to the computer, why if he didn’t have time DIDN’T HE BLOW UP THE COMPUTER. 

-And for a plot point being “droids analyzes our tactics so we always have to change them”, it means that no one ever attacked a front door and drew all the droids there for a second team to sneak by the back door. Somehow.

Ep2 & 3 :

- Why is “this may or may not be Echo” matters on a tactical PoV ? I get the emotional one, of course, but having the Bad Batch question it at the beginning and later on starting a fight over it has no other reason than to go for another round of We Do Not Get Along Trope. The Seps have either a PoW or an Algorhythm allowing them to win battle, no matter what it is, you have to go and rescue/take it. WHY ARE YOU ARGUING.

- I know this is the funny part of ‘Anakin and Padmé are the less subtle ever’ and it was funny (I didn’t hate ALL of the episodes, see ?), but why is she explaining to Anakin why he fights three years into the war other than reminding the public, this is the LEAST EFFECTIVE PLAN ever to hide from Obi-Wan with Rex obviously standing guard.

-Not a critic, just fucking amused : if someone isn’t aware that Padmé and Anakin are a thing, there is a lot of subtext to thing Anakin and Rex have a hidden fling. I don’t even ship it and I could see it x)

- Tell Padmé I say hello. TELL PADME I SAY HELLO. Obi-Wan fucking KNOWS, maybe not the whole “married and pregnant” but hellooooo that was blantant cue that he’s aware they’re together, at the very least so very close friends that they sneak private calls during a siege if Anakin is really dense, we have ONSCREEN PROOF that Obi-Wan SAID OUT LOUD something about it and it makes Anakin thinking Obi-Wan doesn’t know and couldn’t understand in RotS even STUPIDER. Good job Anakin.

- This Galaxy has the most efficient Google Translate ever. Either it’s a known language of the planet you’re going to, and then by doing research amidst the prep to go to the planet everyone or at least Rex as Captain would put the translator to the spoken languages there on his helmet, or it’s an unknown one and yet with two sentences, Tech’s tech (urgh) is able to translate and analyses it well enough to speak it back to them. Wow. 

- WHY. IS. THE. JEDI. NOT. USING. THE. FORCE. You’ve worked with Echo before but there’s no mention or even trying to feel him, fine, better have another fight of whether or not he’s truly here, two droids manage to get the drop on you, two droids manage to get the drop on you AND SOMEHOW AREN’T IMMEDIATELY BISECTED, Two droids manage to get the drop on you, survive, AND GIVE YOU ENOUGH TROUBLE YOU NEED SOMEONE TO SHOOT ONE TO GET OUT OF IT. 

- Echo, my poor baby TnT I knew this was going to hurt, and it does, it does so much. 

-And we’re RIGHT BACK to full on rage rather fast. We go from “he’s so weak he can’t walk, he doesn’t remember anything after the Citadel, he’s so out of it he doesn’t know where he is and ‘notices’ Rex being here two or three times” to “He can walk, he can be yeeted into a vent, he can tightpole walk, he can shoot while standing, he knows the whole base’s blueprints and also all the Separatist’s database.” in like. Five minutes. CONSITENCY FOR FUCK’S SAKE. Why is no one carrying him, why don’t we even get a fucking HUG ?

-Why was everyone yeeted by Dumb Muscles WHEN WE HAVE A JEDI HERE. WHY STILL NO FORCE ??? Clone-yeeting is like Anakin’s favorite pastime, he should have thought of it FIRST, My Moment Has Come.

- Oh FUCK NO. WHY did you even GO BACK TO THE NATIVES’ VILLAGE ? You got dragons, you fly back to your ship that wasn’t damaged in anyway, you evac fast and clean, DONE ! Why go back ? Anakin even says that the Techno Union will strike for helping them BUT UNTIL YOU WENT BACK THEY DIDN’T KNOW THE NATIVES HELPED YOU ! They had no problems until now ! DON’T INVOLVE CIVILIANS ! If they had gone with the plot point of having the natives pick a side and be the ones to save them from that pole by flying to get them, then yes, totally, stay and help and defend them against the retaliation massacre ! But since they didin’t, do NOT go there and draw to them a retaliation massacre.

-FUCK that speech. Sorry Rex, but FUCK THAT. Again, civilians. You are supposed to be the GOOD GUYS trying to STOP THE WAR, not draw innocents into it when it could be avoided. AND THEN LEAVE WHEN YOU JUST TOOK DOWN ONE ATTACK AND THE TECHNO UNION WILL SURELY COME WIPE OUT THAT VILLAGE FOR HELPING YOU AND THERE’LL BE NO JEDI TO SAVE THE DAY.

-Why is everyone suddenly dumb.

-Fuck that “good old days” bullshit. I’m sure there were good times, but your good old days are three years of war and losses. Gimme “now everything will be alright”, because for once someone survived, for once the future is looking hopeful, give me them hoping that it’ll be okay and then gut me with the sheer irony of it all because I know 66 is looming. AND FUCKING HUG HIM DAMMIT, he was almost catatonic thirty minutes ago, at least HELP HIM into the ship rather than leave him standing here alone.

-And no mention of Fives, of course. Idk it may be in episode 4, it BETTER be in Episode 4, otherwise this is “it be like the good old days, yay, btw Fives’ dead”.

I am SO ready for the damn Bad Batch arc to be over and hoping the actual original content is way better. I wished they had scrapped that disaster of an idea full of bad clichés. You want a strike team to go with Rex ? I’ve got a strike team for you : Jesse is an ARC, Kix is both a medic and seen many times with a rifle (AND THE COOLEST HAIRCUT, get us Bly there and give him a tracking speciality with the many ‘primitive’ planets he was on, and we have Aayla for the muscle. That would be badass.

[wearesuchstuff1]

Star Crossed

What happens when you take a Star Wars obsessed nerd who is getting a graduate degree in Shakespeare Studies and you put her in quarantine with three essays to write for almost two months?

A Star Wars/Shakespeare AU for every one of Shakespeare's plays!

Read on AO3.

     All's Well That Ends Well  

Kylo as the King and Rey as Helena.  Kylo has been stabbed by a lightsaber.  Who stabbed him?  Totally not Rey, what are you talking about??  Rey offers to heal Kylo with the Force (because that’s apparently a thing you can do?).  Kylo doubts she can do it, but Rey offers to make him a deal - either she fails, in which case Kylo can kill her, or she succeeds, in which case she gets to choose her husband.  Kylo agrees to this, secretly hoping that if she does manage to cure him that she will choose him as husband and not that annoying Rebel pilot or that ex- Storm Trooper.  Rey does manage to heal Kylo, but instead of throwing herself at Kylo, Poe, or Finn, Rey decides she’s a strong independent woman who doesn’t need a man and this way none of them can push the issue because she gets to be the one who ultimately chooses who, or if, she marries.  Sorry Shakespeare, this play’s super annoying and I am not inflicting most of this plot on my Star Wars babies.  

     Antony and Cleopatra  

Leia as Mark Anthony, Han as Cleopatra.  Leia is a very busy, powerful, accomplished leader of the Resistance.  Everyone looks up to her and she has lots to do as her Rebel forces battle the Empire.  If only Han Solo weren't so damn sexy and distracting…

     As You Like It  

Ray as Rosiland and Finn as Orlando.  After escaping from Jakku, Ray must seek her family in the Forest of D'Qar.  Finn, in love with Ray and fleeing the wrath of the new, hostile government, also ends up in the Forest.  There, Ray finds her family, learning that family does not begin or end with blood, and learns to find “tongues in trees, books in the running brooks, sermons in stones and good in everything.”  

     Comedy of Errors  

Anakin managed to avoid the temptations of Palpatine but when Palpatine discovers that Padme is pregnant they, with Obi Wan’s help, agree that the children must be kept safe from the Sith Lord.  In the wake of Order 66 Padme takes Leia and C-3PO on one ship and Anakin takes Luke and R2-D2 on another.  The twins are raised apart but when Luke comes of age, he sets out with R2-D2 to find his twin.  Hijinks and hilarity ensue, but in the end Luke and Leia, R2 and 3PO, and Anakin and Padme are all reunited.  

      Coriolanus  

Obi Wan as Ophidius, Palpatine as Menennius, and Anakin as Coriolanus.  Palpatine is intent on shaping the warrior Anakin in his political image.  Anakin would much rather stab things with his lightsaber and rail against the establishment than put up with politics.  Obi Wan and Anakin are gay for eachother.    

     Cymbeline  

Leia is Imogen, Anakin is Cymbeline, Palpatine is Anakin’s evil lover, Palpatine's clone son is Cloten, Han is Posthumus.  Leia married Han but Anakin doesn’t approve because Anakin and Palpatine want Leia to marry Palpatine’s clone son.  After Han has been kicked out he goes to Jabba’s palace and sends Jabba the Hutt to try to seduce Leia because Jabba tricks Han into betting that Leia won’t betray him.  Jabba brings “proof” to Han of Leia’s supposed infidelity and Han sends Chewie as Pisonio to lead Leia to the deserted deserts of Tatooine to kill her.   However instead Chewie brings a disguise for Leia to dress up as a boy to keep her safe from Han.  Dressed as a boy, Leia gets separated from Chewie and meets Obi Wan (as Belarius) and Luke (as Guiderius/Arviragus).  Leia doesn’t know that Luke is her brother and after she falls ill she takes a potion given to Chewie by Palpatine that ends up making her fall into a dead sleep.  I can’t be bothered to explain why.  Thinking her dead, Obi Wan and Luke plan to bury her until Palpatine’s clone son, dressed as Han and looking for Leia, arrives and, because he is rude, gets his head cut off by Luke, who lays him (headless) next to Leia.  When Leia wakes up she thinks that Han is dead and, in great despair, Leia goes off and pledges herself as a page to Tarkin, who is leading the Empire’s fleet against the Hutts.  There is a big battle where Luke, Obi Wan, and Han kick ass, and at the end all mistaken identities are revealed, Palpatine dies and confesses his sins (not in that order), Han and Leia discover they were only tricked into thinking they didn’t love each other, and Leia still gets to strangle Jabba.  In conclusion, this is a batshit play.  Thanks Shakespeare.    

     Hamlet  

Well it’s not Anakin because he doesn’t take any time to ponder anything before killing the people who killed his parent.  He just kills them.  And not just the men, but the women, and the children too…

Ben Kenobi tells Luke that Vader killed his father.  Horrified by this information, Luke sets out across to Galaxy to confront Vader.  By act five Luke has stabbed the Emperor through a curtain (thinking him to be Vader), Vader and Luke have both been stabbed with a poisoned lightsaber, General Tarkin has drunk poison intended for Luke, and Princess Leia is knocking on the doors of the death star.  With his dying breath Luke tells his school friend Biggs (who Luke is not-so-secretly gay for) that he gives his vote for Leia to run the Galexy after he is dead.  At this point Ben Kenobi is beginning to wonder if maybe he shouldn't have lied to Luke about his father after all.  Also, R2 and 3PO are Rosencrantz and Guildenstern.  

     Henry IV, Parts I and II  

Han as Hal and Jabba the Hutt as Falstaff.  Hanging out with Jabba and his other lowlife friends has given Han a bad reputation.   Despite Jabba's insistence that they be partners in petty crime and enjoy all the entertainment and Corilian Rum the credits from their crimes can buy, Han must grow to realize that his friend is holding him back from his true place in the Galaxy and that he ultimately must turn away from his old (large) friend in order to become a General in the Rebel Alliance and to stand by its Princess's side.    

     Henry V  

Jyn and Cassian know, as their small band of brothers lands on the beaches of Scarif, that they are outnumbered ten to one.   Nevertheless, as they prepare to head once more unto the breach they are determined to make ten men feel like a hundred.  They know that if they are mark’d to die, they are enough to do the Rebellion loss; and if to live, the fewer men, the greater share of honour.  They fight valiantly and are able to bring the Rebellion hope by sending the plans for the Death Star to Princess Leia, but in the end none of them outlive that day, nor come safe home.  

     Henry VI, Parts I, II, and III  

Despite the threats posed by the Clone Wars, the Jedi look above all else to their religion, leaving the path open for their enemies to take from them their power and, ultimately, their lives.

     Henry VIII  

Obi Wan is Anakin’s first wife and Padme is Ann Bolyn.  Anakin cheats on Obi Wan and the Jedi Order with Padem.  When the world finds out (youngings’) heads will roll.

     Julius Caesar  

Snoke, Kylo, and Hux as Caesar, Brutus, and Mark Anthony.   Despite his pledged allegiance to Emperor Snok, Kylo turns against his master and stabs him with his lightsaber, inciting a power struggle between Kylo and Hux and some impassioned speeches to the gathered Storm Troopers.

     King John  

Palpatine as King John, Mace Windu as the Pope, and Anakin as the archbishop (and Hubert).  Palpatine, in order to assert his influence over the Jedi and to continue to bring Anakin under his power, insists that Anakin be appointed to the Jedi Council.  Mace Windu is furious that Palpatine would interfere in this way and attempts to “excommunicate” him from the Republic.  Anakin turns on Mace Windu and the Jedi Order, and Palpatine sends him to the Jedi Temple to kill the younglings (specifically a youngling named Arthur).  However, when actually faced with the task Anakin is unable to do so.  Instead he lies to Palpatine and tells him the younglings have been killed.

     King Lear  

Lear/Cordelia as Vader/Luke.  Vader is slightly (maybe a lot) crazy and angry and he tries to give his son, Luke, part of the Galaxy, providing Luke pledges his allegiance to Vader and the Dark Side of the Force.  Luke is not having it so Vader cuts Luke’s hand off.  In the end, after some battles, Vader realizes Luke is in the right just in time to die.

     Love's Labour's Lost  

By swearing off attachments and secluding themselves in their Temple, the Jedi believe they will better be able to learn from and serve the Force.  But then Qui-Gon Jinn meets Shmi Skywalker, Obi Wan Kenobi meets Satine Kryze, Ahsoka Tano meets Lux Bonteri, and Anakin Skywalker meets Padme Amidala.  Together they learn that attachments are not so easily avoided.

     Macbeth  

The Nightsisters, led by Mother Talzin, predict greatness for Darth Maul.  In fact, when he is apprenticed to Sidious, Talzin predicts that Maul will become the most powerful Sith Lord and that he will soon become the master, no longer the apprentice.  Fueled by this promised power, Maul, encouraged by his wife Lady Ventress, plans to kill Sidious.  However, he is disturbed by Talzin's predictions that while he may become more powerful than even Sidious, it is Sidious's future apprentice, Darth Vader, who’s children will defeat the power of the Dark Side.  Thinking himself invincible thanks to Mother Talzin's predictions he sees no reason to fear the two Jedi who arrive at the Naboo palace of Dunsinane in a ship called the Birnam Wood.

     Measure for Measure  

With the Empire not giving a fuck about the Outer Rims, Jabba is left to his own devices on Tatooine.  When Jabba captures Luke and tries to feed him to his pet Rancor, Jabba proposes a deal with Leia that if she stays with him he will let Luke go.  Already feeling that she is married to the Rebellion, Leia is torn between her love for the Alliance and her love for Luke.  Ultimately Leia decides she’s better off strangling Jabba while Luke blows up his ship.  Even though this isn’t what Mariana actuall does in the script it’s what she should do becasue fuck the patriarchy.    

     Merchant of Venice  

In a last-ditch attempt to save the Republic she loves, Padme comes before the senate and reminds them that 'the quality of mercy is not strained'.  She advises them that mercy 'is mightiest in the mightiest; it becomes the throned Emperor better than his robe: his lightsaber shows the force of temporal power, but mercy is above the lightsaber's sway".  Her impassioned speech reminds the senate to see past the blood lust fueled by Palpatine and the Clone Wars and Padme single handedly manages to avoid the death of democracy to thunderous applause.    

     Merry Wives of Windsor  

Jabba the Hutt is Falstaff.  That’s all.

     Midsummer Night's Dream  

Finn and Poe, both thinking they are in love with Ray, follow Ray to a forest planet.  Rose, in love with Poe, follows him.  In the forest R2-D2 and his young companion BB8 use trickery and (Force) magic to help the humans sort out this love triangle mess (yes, this does make C-3PO Titania). Finn and Poe realize that they are actually in love with each other and Ray reaffirms that she is a strong independent woman who doesn’t need a man.  Rose gets left in the woods because J.J. Abrams forgets about her.  

     Much Ado about Nothing  

Leia/Han as Beatrice/Benedict.  Despite the seemingly daily war of words between Princess Leia and Han Solo in the hallways of Hoth’s Echo Base, it seems every Alliance member except the Princess and the smuggler knows that the two are in love.  While the verbal battles continue (some more sophisticated than others - Han’s only available comeback to Leia’s rather weak “scruffy looking nerf herder” jab being “who’s scruffy looking?”) Chewbacca, Luke, R2-D2 and a relatively confused and unwilling C-3PO ‘undertake one of Hercules' labours; which is, to bring Han and the Princess Leia into a mountain of affection the one with the other’.  By the end both Han and Leia are separately convinced the other is madly in love with them and relent (purely out of the goodness of their own hearts and not at all because of any feelings they might have) to save the other from their suffering and agree to marry them.  Also Jar Jar Binks is Dogberry - do not question it.    

     Othello  

In order to serve his own purposes, Palpatine manages to turn the righteous and lauded warrior Anakin Skywalker against his wife, Padmé Amidala, with whispered lies and deceits, resulting in Anakin choking and, ultimately, killing the woman he loves.  That’s it.  That’s the film.

     Pericles  

Anakin as Pericles, Padme as Thaisa, and Leia as Marina.  After fleeing from Mustafar with Padme, Obi Wan and Bail Organa watch helplessly as Padme gives birth to twins then, seemingly, dies.  Afraid to bring more attention on themselves from Sidious and his new apprentice, the men place Padme’s body in an escape pod and eject it near Jedha.  What they don’t know is that Padme is only mostly dead (which means she is a little bit alive).  When her escape pod is found by a young local force user named Chirrut Imwe he brings Padme back from the brink.  Knowing that her husband is dead to her and with no way to contact her children, Padme decides to dedicate herself to the Force at the ancient Jedi temple Chirrut and his husband Baze Malbus brought her to.  Meanwhile, Leia is raised by Bail and, when she is old enough, dedicates herself to the Rebellion (sorry guys, I just can’t bring myself to have Bail try to kill Leia).  However, when Leia is captured by the Empire she is brought before Vader.  They talk and compare stories, and through their connection in the Force they realize that they are father and daughter.  At the descovery of his daughter Vader decides ‘you know what, fuck the Emperer’ and casually destroies the Empire.  Then the Force leads Anakin and Leia to Jedha (which hasn’t been destroyed because of reasons).  There they discover Padme living in the temple of the Jedi.  After a tearful family reunion with Anakin, Padme, and Leia, the three eventually decide they had better go save Luke from spending the rest of his life as a moisture farmer on Tatooine.  

     Richard II  

Ben Solo as Bolingbrooke and Luke as Richard II.  Luke, hoping to raise Ben Solo in his image, is heartbroken when he senses the dark side in his nephew.  In a sudden and desperate attempt to keep the dark side from the world Luke banishes Ben (with his lightsaber).  Furious at Luke’s betrayal Ben turns to the dark side and destroys everything Luke has sought to build.

     Richard III  

Turning against his own family, Kylo Ren murders and betrays in order to obtain the position in the First Order he believes his lineage affords him.  Hux is Ann.

     Romeo and Juliet  

Finn has been raised to be a Storm Trooper since before he can remember.  All his life he has been taught to hate the Resistance.   Poe’s parents were Alliance members during the time of the Empire.  They raised him to stand against the First Order.  Finn and Poe thought they knew their beliefs, until the two meet and, despite all they have been taught to believe, fall desperately in love.  They are, quite literally, star crossed.  BB8 gets drunk off fermented oil and delivers a Queen Mab speech in exclusively beeps and whistles.

     Taming of the Shrew  

The Alderaanian Princess is a bit of a firecracker and has no time for anything in her life but the Rebellion.  So when a smuggler shows up and decides to try to win her over Anakin, who did not turn to the Dark Side, laughs and says he’s welcome to try.  Meanwhile, Bodhi Rook, Wedge Antilles, and Biggs Darklighter (yes, this IS his last name…) are all vying for Luke Skywalker’s attention.  When Luke goes to Anakin and wines ‘but daddy, I want to get married’ Anakin makes a new rule: “YOU’RE NOT GETTING MARRIED UNTIL LEIA GETS MARRIED!”.  In order to have a chance at marriage Luke must team up with Chewbacca to help Han tame Leia.  It doesn’t come as a surprise to anyone except Han that it is actually Leia who ends up doing the timing.  

     Tempest  

In (self-imposed) exile a grumpy, gray haired Luke hangs out on an island strong with the magic of the Force.  Ariel is a Porg.  

     Timon of Athens  

Despite the Clone Wars, Obi Wan Kenobi is glad to be well liked and surrounded by friends he trusts.  Then one day his friends (specifically his best friend and a bunch of clones) betray his ass.  So what does he do?  He runs off to the Outer Rim to the sandiest fucking planet he can find (because his ex-best friend hates sand) and spends the next 19 years being poor and grumpy.

     Titus Andronicus  

Seriously, the only story I know with more severed limbs that Titus Andronicus is Star Wars…

     Troilus and Cressida  

When Padme married Anakin Skywalker they exchanged vows, of course, but they also exchanged pieces of clothing.  It’s an old Naboo tradition that Padme’s mother loved and Anakin found cute, so why not?   It was a silly thing, but the sleeve Anakin gives her stays with Padme, folded neatly in a small box, as Anakin fights the Clone Wars throughout the Galaxy and Padme fights them in the Senate.  But then Anakin falls to Darth Sidious’s powers and when Padme confronts him he almost chokes her to death.  Almost.  After giving birth to two healthy children Padme, Obi Wan, and Yoda agree that it will be safest for the twins to be raised apart in order to better hide them from the Dark Side.  Obi Wan takes the boy to Tatooien and Padme’s friend Bail Organa takes the girl to be his adopted daughter.  Padme, seperated from her children, spends the next several years traveling the Galaxy, doing good where she can and keeping herself away from her children, afraid that her presence will endanger them.  But Darth Vader finally catches up with her.  She is captured by the Sith Lord and taken prisoner and her already shattered heart breaks once again when she is brought before him.  Her captor demands that she be his, insisting that she love him and give up her foolish affection for the foolish boy she met on Tatooine all those standard years ago.  To prove her new supposed devotion to Vader, the Empire, and the Dark Side of the Force, Vader demands Padme supply him with a token of her affection.  From her small pack Padme draws out a box with an old but neatly folded sleeve within. She hands it to the Sith Lord, a token of her love, in the hopes that it might remind Vader of the love Padme bears for another man.    

     Twelfth Night  

After escaping Darth Vader with the plans to the Death Star, Luke and Leia, twins raised together as royals on Alderaan, crash in their escape pod on Tatooine.  Believing her twin brother to be dead, Leia dresses as a man to better hide from the Empire.  She is hired by a handsome smuggler named Han Solo, who sends her as an envoy to the palace of Jabba the Hutt, hoping Leia can gain information about Han’s lost love Qi’ra.  Han is intrigued by his new hire and his apparent aversion to the Empire while under her disguise Leia finds she is falling in love with Han.  Jabba is confused about why this petite boy Solo keeps sending wants to know about someone named Obi Wan Kanobi, Chewie is considering changing up his single munitions belt style with some fancy cross-gartering, and somehow Luke ends up at Jabba’s in a slave bikini.

     Two Gentlemen of Verona  

Lance and Crab - Ray and BB8 on Jakku.  Ray, having no family to speak of, designates her left shoe to be her mother, her right shoe to be her father, her staff to be her sister, her hat to be their maid and she is the droid.  No, the droid is herself, and she is the droid - O, the droid is her, and she is herself.  Ay, so, so.  She plays out her imagined family life with shoes and staff, bringing herself to lonely tears. Now the droid all this while sheds not a tear nor speaks a word; but see how she lays Jakku’s dust with her tears.

     Winter's Tale  

Abandoned after his family exited pursued by a (space) bear, Baby Yoda finds a new protector and adopted father in Din Djarin, the Mandalorian.    

     Cardenio and Love’s Labour’s Won  

These two are the 6 hour uncut Phantom Menace because they are lost and I would give my first born child to see them.

     Sir Thomas More, The Spanish Tragedy, and Edward III  

All the books/legends - not because of the plot, but because although George Lucas had very little to do with them they are really only known, by those who know them, in association with him and his works.  There is a large debate by ‘scholars’ as to whether they should be accepted as canon or not.

     Bonus  

Chewbacca is ecstatic when he hears that an Alderaanian princess has taken up residence in the detention block of a nearby moon space station.  He hopes that this princess might be the perfect match for his handsome yet headstrong smuggler friend.  After all, it is a truth universally acknowledged that a single Alderaanian princess in possession of a good fortune of Credits, must be in want of a husband.

I must give a huge thank you to my friends who put up with me while I did this and contributed fabulous ideas!  Vaxildamn, Dazingparadise, Kaethe, and Eric, I couldn't have done this without you!

[fadingbirdparadise]

With Rise of Skywalker teaser, Rey is a Palpatine, and here’s why

Episode I: The Phantom Menace 

Episode II: Attack of the Clones

Episode III: Revenge of the Smith

Episode IV: A New Hope

Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back

Episode VI: Return of the Jedi

Episode VII: The Force Awakens 

Episode VIII: The Last Jedi

Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker 

And there it is. The titles for all nine episodes. I loved the teaser trailer, and it got me thinking that the winning theory is.... Rey is a Palpatine! Specifically, his granddaughter. I am going to lay out all the evidence that points to this being her heritage in IX. 

I. The Jakku Observatory 

We know from Bloodline that Palpatine had an observatory on Jakku. This was a strategic outpost for the Empire. Jakku is also Rey's home planet. Coincidence? Nope! 

II. Rey's Parents Can Still Be Nobodies

In TLJ, Kylo Ren tells Rey that her parents are filthy junk traders who sold her for drinking money. There is a reason for him telling her this. We are now going to get into some theorizing. 

What if Palpatine had a child, and placed that child on Jakku to control him/her? No, I am not talking about Rey; I am talking about her mother or father. Her one parent met and fell in love with her other parent, resulting in Rey. Rey's parents then had to stay under Jakku because they were under the Emperor's thumb. This could have caused familial strife, to say the least. 

Fast forward to Palpatine dying at the end of ROTJ. Rey's parents are now free to leave the planet. But they see that Rey is showing Force powers and tendencies in line with her grandfather. Fearing another Emperor, the parents sell Rey off for drinking money and attempt to leave the planet. Confused, betrayed and enraged, Rey blasts their ship out of the atmosphere so that they crashland into a "pauper's grave in the Jakku desert."

So, you see, Kylo doesn't have to be lying about Rey's parents. But he could still be lying....... by omission, in not telling Rey who her grandfather is. Why would he do this? Well, Rey must know who Palpatine is; Kylo doesn't want this information to drive her away. Kylo also might fear Rey a little - he doesn't want Rey (Palpatine's descendant) to rule over him (Vader's descendant). So, he figures they should rule together - as partners and not as Master and apprentice. 

III. Symmetry. 

Darth Vader was a child of the Light drawn to darkness. Luke was a child of Darkness drawn to light. Kylo was a child of Light drawn to darkness. We need some child of Darkness drawn to Light. That child is Rey.

IV. Luke's Reluctance to Train Rey 

Luke was full of it when he asked Rey "Who are you?" In TLJ. He knows damn well who she is. And he does not want to be responsible for training the Emperor's granddaughter. Rey telling Luke she is from Jakku just confirms for Luke that she is descended from evil. 

V. Rey's Fighting Style 

Folks have talked about this before. But Rey and Palpatine's fighting styles are similar, leaning heavily on jabs and slashes. Also, look at this picture of Rey from the teaser. She looks evil here, doesn't she?

VI. Naturally Drawn to the Dark Side 

The reason Rey went right for the Dark well on Ahch-To is because she is naturally drawn to the dark side. It is in her blood - her grandfather's blood. 

VII. Palpatines and Skywalkers Have Always Been Attracted to Each Other 

Palpatine took a special interest in Anakin in the prequel trilogy. It is poetic then that the opposite has occurred in the sequels: Ben Solo (a Skywalker) takes a special interest in Rey (a Palpatine). 

VIII. Rey can still be a Skywalker 

In being descended from Palpatine, who is now confirmed as the founder of the Skywalker bloodline, Rey can still be a Skywalker... or at least, a distant Skywalker relative. In order for everything to make sense, the family tree looks like this: 

 Unidentified Woman - Palpatine --- Shmi

           I                                              I

           I                                              I

           I                                              I

Rey's Dad --- Rey's Mom   Anakin - Padme 

                    I                                      I

                    I                                      I

                    I                                      I

                 Rey               Luke & Leia - Han 

                                                            I

                                                            I

                                                            I

                                                         Ben 

 Here's what this means: one of Rey's parents is a direct cousin of Anakin, making Rey and the Skywalker twins second cousins. And that makes Ben Solo the second cousin once removed of Rey. And that means..... 

IX. Reylo Can Still Happen

Cousins who are distant enough have been known to marry. Rey and Ben's relations are distant enough that they could still marry and it would not be incest. 

A Few Unanswered Questions: 

The Anakin Skywalker lightsaber calling to Rey: Why would the lightsaber of a Skywalker go to a Palpatine? I honestly don't know. One of the most critical things that saber ever did was save Palpatine from murder, thus it and its wielder (Anakin) submitted to a new Master. Maybe....? 

 The Cave Mirror: This one is more easily explained. Rey asked to see her parents (who are apparently nobodies). She didn't ask to see her grandparents, otherwise the mirror would have shown Sheev. The Mirror did exactly what she asked it to do. 

[arielsojourner]

Part 19 of Luke and Vader Save the Galaxy by Time Travel. 

This has taken on a life of its own. How am I ever going to reach an end here?  I don’t even know where most of this came from.

Send help.

–Reports of Tatooine’s liberation and uprising are slow to spread to the mainstream media, though the holomedia boards and sites are full of stories and holosnaps being shared around by clones and other young sentients.  When news reaches Obi-Wan on Mandalore he groans because he knows, he just knows that Anakin is there. The very second he felt safe enough to leave Anakin, leave Naboo, his former Padawan decides to go haring off across the galaxy. Before Obi-Wan would have just let it go, but now he knows better.  He worries; Anakin is not invincible nor all powerful. He is battered, and worn, and he is tired, though he is still standing. Going back to his home planet, going back into danger so soon after everything may be too much for Anakin to bear. If it wasn’t for the knowledge that Captain Rex and the others have his back and that Luke is with them, Obi-Wan would already be on the first ship heading towards the Outer Rim. The Force tells him that he can wait and trust, that the clones will not leave Anakin alone and that Luke who has already done so much for Anakin and his family, will do his utmost to protect him.  

Of course when Satine tells him that she will be hosting a diplomatic entourage from the Separatist Alliance as part of the signing of the Reconstruction Accords and that his presence at the event has been requested, he seriously thinks about ignoring the Force’s direction and heading for Tatooine anyway.

When he sees who is leading the entourage he literally lets go of Satine’s arm and nearly bolts out of a window. The Duchess tries to grab him, but it is Quinlan Vos yelling Obi-Wan’s name that has him freezing guiltily, a few steps from freedom.

“Oh, let him run Quinlan,” Ventress practically purrs from beside Knight Vos. “I’ve missed the sight of Jedi running in fear since the war has stopped.”

Obi-Wan’s shoulders tighten and he whirls around. “As I recall, it was you who turns tail and run at the first hint of trouble.”

“Really? That’s not what I recall.”

“Then I suggest you seek medical attention for your spotty memory, my darling,” he snaps back at her.

“My darling?” Satine and Quinlan echo together. Obi-Wan flushes, kicking himself for forgetting he had an audience of someone other than Anakin. Quinlan looks ready to burst out laughing, his eyes dancing with the possibility of years of teasing. Satine looks unimpressed, her eyes flashing under her arched brows.

“Come, come,” Ventress says with a laugh. “You must allow the great Negotiator his little games.” She takes Quinlan’s arm. “You know him well, Quinlan. He only ever flirts with those he attacks. He saves his venom and his arguing for those he loves. Haven’t you seen the way he is with Skywalker?”

Quinlan is now snickering. “Does that mean you love me too, Obi-Wan?”

“Now look here, Anakin was my Padawan and he is happily–“ he bites his tongue before he says more, but it looks like it is too late. He runs a quick hand over his beard. Anakin is going to kill him!

“Happily, what?” Satine says, moving forward, having caught Obi-Wan’s slip. “Happily . . .  married? A Jedi married?”  

He wants to say no, of course not. Jedi don’t get married. Jedi are forbidden from marriage. Marriage is attachment. Attachment is forbidden. But, he sees hope in her eyes, burning like a candle and cannot bring himself to snuff it out.

But is it his secret to tell? He thinks of Anakin and Padme together, his former Padawan so lovesick Obi-Wan was frequently embarrassed on his behalf though Padme finds Anakin’s devotion adorable. He thinks about the fact that while he and the Order didn’t realize that Anakin was more than just visibly partial to Padme (and given how obvious it was it is a miracle the Sith Master hadn’t wiped out the Order years ago for their obliviousness!), most of the 501st and the 212th knew. When they had left Coruscant on the Dauntless, the clones traveling with them didn’t blink an eye at the Senator or the children staying in Anakin’s quarters and instead offered their congratulations.  Palpatine sending assassins after Padme and the babies meant he knew.  He looks over at Ventress who is smirking and very “overly familiar” with Knight Vos. She already knows. She is watching him like a hawk to see if he hides behind the Code, ready to tear into him like a coward if he does. Satine and Padme were close friends. Anakin had told him that he was done hiding and done pretending or being ashamed of his family.

But still he did owe his brother some discretion.

He clears his throat and says, “I can neither confirm nor deny that any Jedi of the Order is happily married at the present and celebrating the birth of their twin children.”

Satine’s connects the dots and her face lights up with joy. “Twins!” she exclaims. “Oh, Padme!” She scowls suddenly and punches Obi-Wan in the arm. “I need to send congratulations and a gift, and a belated wedding present. There are traditions! Why didn’t you tell me?”

Obi-Wan rubs his shoulder, ignoring the laughter from Vos and Ventress. “For a pacifistic you are so prone to violence, Duchess. And I haven’t told you anything about anyone. I admit to nothing.”

Quinlan shakes his head. “Damn, I don’t know how straight laced High Councilor Kenobi managed to train a Jedi like Skywalker, but I think Master Jinn would be proud.”

Ventress rolls her eyes. “All of you goodie goodies are blind. The two of them may as well have taken out a sign and broadcast their marriage all over the holonet. Even some of the the battle droids figured it out and they have the processing capacity of a multi-tool. If it wasn’t for Luke and Vader who had more sense than all your Order put together, Sidious would have steamrolled over all of you and you would only have had yourself to blame for not seeing it coming.”

“Come on,” Quinlan says to her, tugging her towards the banquet hall doors. “I’m starving. Let’s leave them alone and hope the Duchess can get Obi-Wan to loosen up some more.”

Neither the Duchess nor the Jedi notice them leaving.

Satine reaches up to place her hand on Obi-Wan’s. “So a Jedi can get married and have children with a Senator and be happy,” she says quietly. “It is possible.”

“Yes,” he says hoarsely. “It is.”

–When Ahsoka gives her report to the Jedi High Council (via holoprojector) about the Tatooine liberation campaign, she speaks with confidence about their actions, unflinching and sure in the face of the wrongs that they have righted. There is some debate about whether Luke had any right to invade Tatooine in the first place. Ahsoka calmly reminds the Council that if Tatooine counts as Republic space that is news to her and to the rest of the galaxy.  The Republic and the Jedi Order hardly cared when it was the Hutts killing, brutalizing and enslaving sentients, why should the Republic or the Jedi Order now protest that someone was stopping them? Either the planet belonged to the Republic and the Republic could hardly invade its own planet to enforce the law or the planet was outside of the Republic’s jurisdiction so the Order didn’t really have any say in what happened there in the first place, Ahsoka logically points out.

“Be that as it may, Republic forces were utilized. The Republic has a treaty with the Hutts as part of the war effort,” Ki-Adi Mundi reminds her.  “This could start a war with the Hutts.”

“The war is over,” Ahsoka says in response. “The treaty with the Hutts expired the moment the war ended. This was not an invasion. There were no GAR forces on Tatooine. Everyone who went volunteered and gave of their own time and chose to visit the planet. It’s a free galaxy after all, unless you are saying that the clones don’t have the right to free time and to travel where they wish, Master?” she asks sweetly.

“No one is saying that. The clones have the same rights as anyone. But, you were there, Ahsoka as was your master. You represent the Jedi,” Master Plo says.

“It is in the purview of Jedi to take action in the face of violations of sentient rights throughout the galaxy. From a young age we are all taught that the Jedi Order is to uphold the law and that includes the law against slavery, against torture, against murder and theft,” Ahsoka argues with growing passion. “Master Skywalker and I had every right to be on that planet and a duty to aid the local people in winning their freedom from slavers and the Hutts.”

“And where is your Master?” Mace asks. “Why has he not come before this Council to explain himself?  Palpatine is dead at the hands of a rogue Jedi and a armored Sith Lord. Where was the Chosen One in all of this? Where has he been? His long time connection to the Supreme Chancellor was well known. Why wasn’t he there or at the Temple during the attack? You were instructed to bring him back to Coruscant  for questioning, not go on unsanctioned military campaigns in the Other Rim.”

Master Yoda raises a hand, as if warning the Councilors to speak more softly. The gardens are full of other Jedi and clones and sound carries.

Ahsoka’s eyes narrow and she folds her arms across her chest. “Questioning? Is this Council accusing my Master of wrongdoing simply because he was in communication with Palpatine? Weren’t all of you also in constant communication with the Sith Master? Didn’t you all meet with him privately, take orders from him, pass on intelligence to him, help save his life in a war he orchestrated from start to finish? Why then is it only my Master who must be questioned? Why is he somehow the only one responsible for everything? What about all of you? Why aren’t you questioning yourselves?”

“Padawan, you will control yourself!” Mace said sharply. “He has claimed to be the Chosen One–“

“No, he hasn’t!” Heads turn as one to look at Obi-Wan Kenobi’s icy expression lit in holographic blue.  “The only people who have ever claimed that Anakin Skywalker is the Chosen One are the High Council and my own Master Qui-Gon. Not once has Anakin claimed to be the Chosen One. He has never taken on such a title. He has avoided it like the plague. It is each of us who have raised and debated that claim, who have demanded he measure up to a prophecy that I, to this day, have never even seen nor read. It is each of us who have censured him when he fell short of whatever imaginary and arbitrary expectation we set against him.”

“Master Kenobi–“ Master Yoda interjects but Obi-Wan does not back down, he stands instead. Beyond the trees and the little corner of the gardens the Council has claimed as its own, a crowd is gathering.

“No. Enough. I will not be silent any longer. I will not bite my tongue and bow my head to the will of this Council when it is wrong. I will not allow you to censure Anakin for not being some promised messiah or some paragon of virtue. I am sick of this and if I had been a better Knight and a better Master I would have stopped this years ago. Anakin Skywalker is a Knight and Master of this Order and entitled to all respect and rights thereto. Sheev Palpatine was a Sith Master and we were blind to it. We let him into the Temple and around our students. We took orders from him and never once stopped to question anything until it was nearly too late. Padawan Tano is right.  Instead of focusing on Anakin and his imagined failings, we should be looking at ourselves and trying to figure out just when this Council grew more interested in enforcing its own will over the Will of the Force!”

–When Obi-Wan finally realized who Vader and Luke were, he knew he had to tell his former Padawan. They had long since decided that there were no more secrets between them, no more lies. Obi-Wan just had no idea how he was going to tell him. Words failed him. He blathered on for a bit and Anakin just stared at him in silence, arms crossed, until Obi-Wan gave up and blurted everything out: “Your son Luke is the same person as Vader’s son.”

“I know,” Anakin said calmly.

Obi-Wan collapsed back into the couch behind him. “You do?”

“Yes, it’s obvious.” Anakin sounded just like his seven year old son when he said it like that, complete with eye rolls “Wait, you didn’t know?”

“How was I to know something like that? Time travel is utterly unfeasible from a scientific perspective,” Obi-Wan demanded. 

Anakin eyed him incredulously. “They have the exact same name,” he said slowly as if Obi-Wan is being deliberately dumb. “They look exactly alike. He grew up on Tatooine,” Anakin defended. “It was obviously the Force.”

“The Force doesn’t work that way!”

Anakin snorted, “Tell that to the Force!”

Obi-Wan opened his mouth and then closed it, realizing that to keep arguing was absurd. He ran a hand over his beard. “Luke, young Luke, I mean, he thinks he’s the grown up Luke’s clone. You may want to talk to him about that.”

Anakin laughed. “Well, it’s as good an excuse as any.”

“He also thinks Leia is Padme’s clone. Really, Anakin, I don’t know where he gets these ideas but a conversation may be in order.”

“Three months ago Luke believed that Artoo and Threepio were his godparents and that somehow meant that both he and Leia were part droid.  This,” he said wiggling his prosthetic right hand “didn’t help,” he explained to Obi-Wan completely deadpan. “I’m not too worried about Luke.”

And Obi-Wan couldn’t help but agree. Luke Skywalker was an endearing child, a powerful beacon of light in the Force. His older counterpart was unorthodox to say the least, but a good and gentle man who frequently traveled the galaxy raining down equal measure of destruction and mercy upon people, a legend already. Obi-Wan shook his head and smiled. “That boy . . .”

“Leia, on the other hand . . .” Anakin said trailing off. “She wants to join the junior legislators like her mom for their summer program. She also told me she thinks Luke and her are old enough to get tattoos like all the troopers do. She’s been eyeing the art supplies and Padme’s makeup with a very odd look on her face. I swear I’m going to walk in one day and find her doing Force knows what to her brother or herself.”

They have strayed off topic. Obi-Wan was not blind to that. He let Anakin do it. If his dearest friend didn’t want to talk about it, he would not force him. He barely wanted to give voice to the truth either. There is a part of Obi-Wan that has parsed out how it must have happened, how Anakin came to Fall and his heart breaks at the mere thought of it.

Instead Obi-Wan hoped that Anakin could read his thoughts in his eyes, and feel what he wanted to really say past the lump in his throat. For my part in it, I am so sorry, Obi-Wan thought. You are not to blame. You did nothing wrong. Believe me. You are not Vader, but even if some version of you became him, even then the other you helped save everyone. He defeated the Sith. He protected us. He came back from the Dark. There was still good in him. His son believed in him. There is so much good in you.

“I am sure Leia will take the junior legislators by storm, much like her mother. She doesn’t want to be Queen, does she?” he asked worriedly. Both he and Ahsoka were waiting until the twins are a bit older to start their training in earnest.

“No, she says being Queen is too limiting. Thank the Force for small blessings. I just don’t know what Luke will do while she’s away at the program.”

“I am sure we will think of something.”

[antianakin]

You know, because one of the reasons you can't get married as a Jedi is because you are supposed to put the needs of the Galaxy before them, implies the Jedi believe a Spouse should be your priority if you're married. Proving that Anakin fails at that too. If he put Padme's needs first, he would have told Yoda what was happening instead of that vague "someone close to me is going to die" dreams shit. Anakin's priority, is Anakin.

I think it's more about expectations. Usually when you get married, there's an expectation that you WILL put your spouse above all else, and that's generally totally fine. A lot of marriage vows include word choices to that effect anyway, as well as this idea that you will remain with this one person for the rest of your life no matter what, etc etc.

THEORETICALLY, you could get married WITHOUT some of these expectations, but then at that point you kind-of run into the question of "why get married rather than just be in a regular relationship then?" What benefits do you get from marriage if you cut out the promise of forever and expectation of being a priority in your spouse's life?

There's also the political aspect of it. Jedi are supposed to be neutral and give equal attention to all of the planets in the Republic and treat all people equally no matter where they're from. But if you're married to someone from a specific planet, even if they're not a political leader of some sort, it sort-of generates a greater connection to that planet and perhaps an expectation that the Jedi might prioritize that planet above others if needed. And that obviously causes problems with the Jedi's neutrality as ambassadors/government workers. (Sidenote: This is why I don't think Obi-Wan would've been in a relationship with Bail and/or Breha even if it were casual because the political issues would still exist no matter what.)

So basically I think they discourage/forbid marriage just to eliminate the TEMPTATION of all of those things. Same with having children, generally. They MIGHT be able to get married and have kids without having the political or personal problems, but they can't really promise it'll NEVER be an issue at any point unless they just abstain. Why put themselves in that position if they don't have to? They can always leave the Order to go have those things if they feel particularly necessary to their happiness in life, obviously, no one's forcing them to stay.

And then Anakin marries Padme and we see him CONSTANTLY put his personal relationship to her above his duty as a Jedi. He literally says as much to Padme in that episode in season 1 where he claims that their feelings for each other should be more important than their ideals. We see Anakin demand things of Padme because they're married which shows that he absolutely has these expectations that Padme will prioritize his needs and wants simply because he's her husband. Anakin's big problem is that he refuses to commit to either the Jedi OR Padme entirely because he's selfish enough to want both without realizing the ways in which he's disrespecting both relationships. Padme doesn't always get the time with him that SHE wants (or the ability to have a family openly) and the Jedi have to live with him blowing them off to go play house with Padme or him being overly emotional on a mission if Padme is involved.

The Jedi aren't necessarily saying a spouse SHOULD get all of your attention, just that it's a normal EXPECTATION from married couples that that's what will happen, and if that expectation isn't met, it can lead to misery and discord in the relationship.

So yes, Anakin fails at prioritizing Padme, too, because he's refusing to commit to her, either. He wants to have his cake and eat it, too, he wants to be married to a sitting Senator AND be a Jedi. He wants to be a big damn hero and prioritize the people and places he cares about most and have all of the power that is afforded to the Jedi specifically because they DON'T do those things all at the same time. He fails Padme and the Jedi in much the same way, and that's honestly a major aspect of his whole character.