#And a lot of rage and yelling
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I think depictions of Anya being cruel to Curly or drawing out his suffering are artful and chilling but completely miss the point of the story and her character.
I'm not saying she doesn't deserve to have that "I told you so" moment with him but not in something callous or cold. Even if that is how it happened, she'd immediately feel guilty cause at that point she's not tormenting her tormenter or even the person truly at fault. She's doing something cathartic, similar to how Jimmy likely hits Curly to release rage he can't against the rest of the crew. She'd see herself as no different when she'd come back from the moment and see Curly cowering at her. She wants someone to take responsibility but how does being cruel to the defenseless help? Why would she want the power Jimmy has over her over Curly?
The idea of her extending someone else's pain is just so against the struggles she already faces and how she can't even bring herself to cause someone pain even to help them. Her very desire is to release herself from her own suffering and I doubt she'd even fine some sort of guilty release in being cruel to another.
#anya is not a character i see taking agency or indulging in cathartic behaviors#not knowingly like i see her as a character trapped in her head and maybe in the scenario she's cruel to Curly she is envisioning Jimmy#in his place but its not a story about justice or those deserving of punishment and those not like its the opposite of people projecting#their issues on the wrong people and saying things to the wrong people and doing things they shouldn't but anya uniquely falls out of it as#she is subjected to a lot of it but it is also not something she wants to subject another person to like you are doing what Jimmy does and#placing ur rage into another persons and viewing their actions through your eyes like she'd more likely yell at him than do harm or#cause him more pain like at least make it in character#but also she clearly doesn't want to see jimmy or curly in the same light and doesnt because she still repeatedly goes to Curly for comfort#and protection and god there's like concepts that need to be applied to characters individually and then the story as a whole#we can not view the game through only one themed lens less we forget to inspect the compounding factor of Anya is so much more than girl#that needs to be allowed to go off but a woman that simply wants right to be done by her and no more harm like she doesn't want to be aroun#the suffering like idk but some of yall would just benefit from like understanding that people are inherently grey with the capabilities of#black n white thinking or actions#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#anya mouthwashing#i like her the most but then again i am defensive of all women in media and hate when people change the way the character would take agency#for themselves like yes I want her to tweak out but she just wouldn't and I like seeing realistic depictions of a woman suffering the way#she is like shes not the type at the end of the movie to have a one liner but feel a shallow freedom cause she needs to realistically heal#idk but its just like there is an obbsession forming with making her character her pain and not how she handles and navigates the issue
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Track list for Fig and the Cig Figs independently published Junior Year album (officially named “Infaethable”)
Teenage Rebellion
Night Yorb (a heavy metal banger)
Summer Scaries
Devils Nectar
Time Quangle (a love song about Ayda)
Multiclass (Gorgug sings on this!)
The Ballad Of Lucy Frostblade (Kristen was the one who convinced Fig to write this)
So Late, So Tactical
Do You Have A Fucking Warrant
Cassandra (Can You Hear Me)
Hall Of Mirrors
President Applebees (written entirely in the night after Kristen gets elected by a drunk Fig with extremely drunk notes by Kristen)
Raging For Love (inspired by Gorgug, of course)
The Elven Oracle (Has A Day Job) (So Stop Bothering Her)
Maximum Legend
Fury Of The Ball
Cursed
Infaethable
The Bad Kids
#i neeeeed fig to go indie it’s her destiny#she promises each of them that she’ll dedicate at least one song to them and then dedicates a track to each of them individually#sklondas seething a tiny bit that she called riz the ball but he won’t stop playing it so it keeps getting stuck in her head#adaine summons mephits to help with her track#you can hear her in the background near the end yelling ‘yeah!’ and ‘fuck off!’#fabian wanted his to sound like a shanty but fig said it wouldn’t go with the vibe of the album#they eventually compromised by having the noise of waves and seagulls subtly in the background throughout#kristen actually cried the first time fig played the ballad of lucy frostblade for them#summer scaries sounds like an olivia rodrigo song#gorgug gets a sick drum solo in raging for love#time quangle opens with fire crackling and a bird cawing and a quiet clip of ayda saying ‘I love you’ before the instrumental starts#fig stuck a quiet sound clip of gilear saying ‘oh fuck’ and then a louder sound clip of her saying ‘oh fuck!’ in cursed#devils nectar is one of the slower tracks on the album#hall of mirrors is heavily inspired by the events at evil mordred and baron so you can hear a lot of influences from baronesian music in it#fig has a fucking sick as hell guitar solo and a couple of samples from just the bottomless pit in general in infaethable#Gorthalax also gets some lyrical input on it#fig manages to get a clip of riz saying ‘the ball bitch!’ to kalvaxus in freshman year to put in fury of the ball#is this too long for an album? maybe but who cares I love this#a good portion of the profits made from the album goes towards college for the party#having thoughts about fig and the cig fig’s Junior year album#autism (mads) speaks#fantasy high#fhjy#fig faeth#fantasy high junior year#dimesnion 20#d20 fantasy high#fig and the cig figs
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Logging out for a while, love you miss you <3
#idk when I'll be back on#I think maybe end of the month to test the waters but we'll see#someone was having a bad day and decided to take it out in my inbox last night#and then when I logged off they got mad I didn't answer and sent a few more 🤪#usually I'm pretty good at rationalizing these things. gen z feels like the only place they have power is on the internet so of course when#they're angry and scared they're going to come after the people that they can actually reach#(and that includes me; proud owner of an anime thirst blog with 6 followers <3)#what they need is a hug and a copy of the anarchist protest guide and maybe a community garden; not someone responding to them with more#anger#but as I stated. I'm exhausted.#anyway. this is all to say#if you're feeling so much kinetic energy from rage that you feel the best way to get rid of it is to yell at some rando on the internet#use that energy to do something productive#sign up for a protest; volunteer at your local soup kitchen; teach crafts at the library.#a lot of people need a lot of help right now; why waste time shouting into the void when you could be doing something with genuine impact#the world needs helpers more than ever#if you made it this far thank u I love you; and stay safe out there cowboys 💞
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I'm a full supporter of criticism against car culture but I am also hopelessly addicted to Car. I literally love driving my car to various places and listening to music. Will intentionally take longer routes just to make it last. Wasting tons of gas money. Needlessly emitting CO2. Salting the earth beneath the thundering hooves of my Toyota Corolla. Highlight of my fucking day
#Part of it is that I really like singing and that is the ONLY place I can really do it#I would say it's a de-stressor but it's totally actually not. I get so mad at other drivers#I don't have the same anger issues I used to but it all comes back when fellow drivers irk me#Not like full on dangerous levels of road rage but there's a lot of yelling and swearing involved#OK that's enough from me tonight I need to finish some work so sosososoosososoososososo fucking bad
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new type of haterism unlocked: when i'm told a woman is Redefining Music and you just muuuust listen to her because she just like Really Gets It
and then all of her songs just sound like slow + reverb mixes from youtube
but like... in an early florence welch kinda way
and it's like sure i guess she sure is sad and angry in a relatable way but can we zhuzh it up a bit
can we get a good beat in here or something
#i think i bounce off a lot of fthis type of music#(though i LOVED early florence and some late florence)#is because often the vocals are dramatic as hell#an d the instrumental just is NOT giving the same energy#so it just feels like... whiny?#melodramatic in a way that turns potentailly deep lyrics into something grating#Female Rage music often lacks an instrumental that shares in that rage#so it's just like... Woman Shouting#and like... who yells?#also this type of music often has a limited lifespan#because it's so often framed as personal story telling#and people just... have a limited amount of story??#especially as they get more rich and famous#like you need to invoke some story telling or some thing political idk#there's only so many songs i can take about yoru ex
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IT'S EMMA ANGST HOURS
you know, I've written an awful lot of female/feminine characters that are treated harshly or without respect from their male/masculine counterparts. Emma is probably the biggest example of this, where she, the "only girl" in her Gup group, is often scolded like she's a child or protected from the outside world because she's too "fragile" and "weak". boy I sure hope this doesn't mirror past experiences i've had as someone who's grown up as a girl and OH WAIT IT DOES
The most tragic part of it is, no matter how much Emma tries to hold her own, she's just not able to get to that level of independence that other characters like Rosemary and Polly have, or hell, even Dashi and Tweak from the actual source material
Emma's the most held-back character I've probably ever written, period, and ESPECIALLY the most held-back lady
She's held down by her own self-confidence some of the time, but most of that is direct result of the constant misogyny, babying, and general disrespect by the people she's closest to. Regardless of if them mean it or not, it's still disrespect
#there's a lot of other factors aside from her gender that make people so shit to her in-canon and some of these may Also be a bit of +#+ self projection. as there always is. sadly#emma's my favourite gup spirit and i'm being SO CAREFUL about writing her for the webseries but i also have to remember that#not every experience with sexism/ageism/etc is universal. i am allowed to pull from my own experiences. i have to know this#im not sure why im talking about it now but it's especially important in regards to emma because she's one of the most frequent characters#yeah rosemary is important and polly is like the Main Antagonist but emma is overlooked despite appearing MORE than rosie. even in-rp#honestly i've been avoiding this subject for a long time on part of some personal shit about it but we had to get here sooner or later. so.#to end it off i think that emma should be allowed to be angry about this. i'm angry about it so why can't she yk#bottled up rage about this kind of thing hasn't been helping me and it certainly wont be helping her so i dare say she even should Yell#thanks for coming to my ted talk#hershel’s octonauts au#octonauts gups#i came here with emma angst and left with the basis for an essay on misogyny in yls jesus christ
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near tears thinking about how good a job free! did in s1 displaying how depression can take the shape of really harsh anger with rin’s character... especially in comparison to haru and to ikuya later, both whose depression manifests in a very detached, quiet, sad way. normally rin might have a fiery personality, but he’s not an angry person. and i still just love how it was displayed in s1 that, while he gave off this appearance of rage and sharp teeth and thrown fists, there was an equal number of scenes where he was heartbroken, jealous, and worried for his old friends. and just. idk! i loved how his pain and loneliness manifested as this insurmountable rage at himself and everything around him because he was just so sad... idk where i was going with this i just really liked how it was done
#i swear im like About to fall asleep im so tired#but i was listening to the free! ost while writing and just remembering s1.....#like rin still yells a lot and is sharp tongued but. he's really the show's sweetheart crybabyman#mr wears his heart on his sleeve 24/7 and has a heart of gold#and so idk. it's really nice to see him in s1 being presented as this really angry person when in fact he isn't#and it transitions well into him being this really passionate person full of really active sparking energy instead of rage#WAAAHHSHFDGH IM TIRED AND RAMBLING BYE#i say things#rin#free!
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@oceanlaceagate
Well ok you asked for explaining so I'm so sorry about the rant that's bound to happen I have beef with this woman like many many MANY homeschool co-op mothers I would like to meet her IN THE PIT
uh I guess trigger warning possibly would be like food diets and possibly eating disorders I'm not sure but I would rather be safe then accidentally harm you friend?
my mother was a crunchy homeschool nutter and her entire social group was crazy homeschool mom cultists.They were all obsessed with clean godly eating and losing weight they constantly kept repeating that they needed to treat their bodies like temples and it really wasn't healthy or good for so many reasons.
well one of the women in that group for as long as i can remember (I've know this lady since I was a lil kid) she believes it's impossible for European women to get fat because of *spins the wheel*
She just has some fucked up made up facts about Europe in general like WARNING SHE'S ACTUALLY ON PURPOSE STUPID
like she has for as long as I can remember believed with E V E R Y FIBER in her body (i have argued so much with her she will not budge in her world this is fact) no one once they hit preteens in france eats bread.
France home of the croissant, baguette and many other carbs bready bakery wonders...
Yeah no one there eats bread that is why French women are so thin and healthy they don't eat bread or any kind of sweets! (She and my mom then tried to make me do that for a bit they were always "suggesting" diets on me it sucked in expecting the thm diet and the melted butter+coffee+ apple cider vinegar diet to have fucked up my body somehow)
Apartly in her world no one in Ireland uses any kind of fat when I asked her to explain wtf that meant she said no one in Ireland uses oil or butter which like..
No that makes no sense where did she even come up with that?!I
Once I took a picture of like some fancy imported butter from Ireland at the store to show her and she and the other moms all straight up walked away and would not look at it. They would not talk to me kept actually doin the "talk to the hand" thing and covering their ears and telling me I'm wrong and stupid and to shut up they will not look at the evidence.
This woman is in her late forties to early fifties she has convinced half the homeschool mother cult that no one in France eats bread with no evidence other then she said so!!!!!
They honest to God believe it also!!!!
Recently she was trying to tell me that no one in the UK eats chicken that it's "looked down on as a disgusting poor man's food" she just went on n on on this long crazy rant that made no sense at all but she acted like she was very intelligent and cultured for knowing this.
My best friend and wife is from the UK and frankly i quickly asked them and they were able to point out this lady is just batshit insane.
Like my wife mentioned there's Nandos everywhere in the UK and that serves chicken mainly I have no clue where she's getting her info or ideas.
She got super angry amd defensive and has gone off saying she has two sources "two very reliable very real and very British people who totally aren't made up there her real Facebook friends that told her yup no one in the uk eats chicken only the USA makes fried chicken poor England is missing out on chicken because they're a bunch of snobs who think it's poor people food" so that's what she believes despite a lot of common sense and evidence to prove otherwise but "how dare I question an elder?!'
I really can't explain it like there's no logic or facts in it I myself don't understand it? I have gotten into many fights with this women.
So many fight
so so so many fights
Stupid amounts of fights
not just over this but like over everything under the sun I swear this woman is living a different reality then everyone else.
she just makes stuff up on a fly and then somehow convinces herself and like a dozen other women in they're 40s-50s that everyone in Europe is significantly skinner because they just happen to not eat the food that one lady dislikes...
like I can't really explain more then that this woman has no evidence, refuses to listen to evidence and has the firmest faith in stupidity I've ever seen it's truly kinda terrifying i wish i had her self confidence but also just wow....
I don't think that she's normal I think a lot of American children do actually learn about other countries? I learned about other countries when I was really young my mom would focus on one a month and then I'd have to do a lil presentation at the end of the month in front of my grandad and we'd cook a meal with some traditional foods from there if possible I had a lot of fun learning recipes from all over the world and we'd get a monthly cd with music from all over the world it was so cool! one of my favorite games when I was little with my grandad was he'd spin the globe point at random n then i had to say thw county, the capital, a famous food item from there and one history fact is famous person if I knew one and it was SO MUCH FUN!!!
maybe it's a new homeschool thing or a church thing or maybe this lady is just straight up purposely stupid I'm not sure? I have no fuckin clue this woman is insane I avoid her every chance I can.
#rants#ignore me I'm stupid#just yeah#she was one of my mom's bffs and lord she made life hell#Narnia a book written by a Catholic man with DJ much religious imagery and symbolism in every single book in the book series#and progressively gets more n more christan the further into the series you get#was evil and satanic#she yelled at me for liking old yeller#she was CRAZY#but the scary thing is she got a lot of women believing her every word especially European diet shit it was CRAZY#only Americans have addresses no one else dose i guess according to her she got my grandma to believe that for a bit until i pointed out#THE MILLIONS OF BOOKS WRITTEN BY A BILLION AUTHORS ALL OVER THE WORLD THAT MENTION ATREET NAMES AND ADDRESSES#LIKE EXAMPLES PRIDE N PREJUDICE AND SHERLOCK HOLMES HABE ADDRESSES MENTIONED#JUST TWO BOOKS NOT WRITTEN BY AMERICAN OR RECENT WITH ADDRESSES#that got my gran to think a bit but that lady thinks they must have been influenced by Americans aomehow shes SO STUPID IT FILLS ME W RAGE#her daughter told me jesus didn't eat seafood and seafood was unbibical#i.... I do not understand#like do you know where jesus lived do you know what some of his friend's jobs was or like the sermon on the Mount#dis you not read the Bible? why you mad ay me for eating all the time#now that i think of it a lot of times her crazy food things tend to be things i was currently eating kr talking about that i enjoyed eating#huh#weirdo lady#she yelled at me for eating two Oreos once#like yeah i wasn't being greedy but yeah she really got mad over that#now that my mom's passed she texts me randomly because she misses my mom n i think she wants me to fill the void i feel kinda bad for her#but i can't#i can't be her friend not after the shit she influenced my mom too be so cruel to me in the name of God growing up#i will not be her friend#that and she's stupid ofcorse people eat chicken bread and butter that's kinda the most basic human foods i feel like#EVERYBODY HAS BREAD EVERYWHERE BREAD IS THE MOST HUMAN THING
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The hot new thing is googling old art memes and using whatever image search gives you
#my art#original character#luci my baybeeee#lots to say lets go#this was fun it took so very long also much longer than i thought it would#did the sketch for irritated in about 5 seconds cause thats just what his face does all the time#serious and drunk were both pulled from irritated and modified slightly#theres so many i like here but rage and tired are absolutely faves#have wanted to draw him yelling like that for so long and tired just fell together so nicely#i might update his markings eventually but for now this is fine#hes so.. Not Emotive that big expressions end up really big#anyways it was fun and look! i drew something! and now i have to knit again!#one more cowl and then i stg im done knitting for the year
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been doing so well on the neuroticisms front for the past few weeks and idk what changed but major nosedive for the night lol uhm .
#j.txt#laying in bed experiencing paranoias and mood swings that would kill an even marginally less resigned man#opening course was a freight trains worth of rage bc ppl were yelling and honking horns and being insufferable w their cars in the lot righ#outside my window. then a friend came over but only to hang out w my roommates and take them out somewhere without even checking to see wha#was going on with me which like. is par the course atp but fuck if it doesnt still upset me apocoliptically lmao. then I had some sort of#hands-shaking heart racing mind fully blank episode prob bc overstimulated by all of above. and now i just want to cry to make myself feel#Anything at all else but none of my usual methods to do that are working so. going to just sit here miserable and frantic in the dark#until I pass out ig !#vent
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...It's kind of wild when the terf that you got into a fight with and had to write an essay on "Why violence is wrong" back in high school now works at the pharmacy where you get your medication from...
#I'm sorry for the vent I just am mad that she could be in a PHARMACY. I hope she's at least changed her ways.#she should not be working in health if she still thinks this way.#She definitely remembered me too. I don't think she could forget honestly. neither of us was injured btw.#It wasn't a “fight” in the way you think most fights are. she called this sweet trans boy the word rhymes with maggot (that's what she is)#a maggot.#while she was moving around a lot and idk. rage took over and I twisted her arm and she happened to fall and then I cussed her out#I probably over did it but moving her arms around while ranting and then calling him that just pushed me over. I WAS calm at first.#He was a shy and quiet kid and he “didn't want to make a big deal about it” so I tried to follow his request but... you know.#it was in theatre behind the curtains during rehearsal and everyone heard/saw so yea. I got into trouble. no detention surprisingly#it was a long time coming. she would constantly harass him with shit about how “You still look like a girl”. and using wrong pronouns#and teachers were told but they didnt' do shit. She also was just a mean person. This guy wasn't the only person she bullied#I only wrote on why VIOLENCE was wrong. not about what I did. The only thing I feel bad about is that I scared the poor guy I was defending#I don't remember what I said (I was that mad) but apparently I "picked her personality apart like a bunch of lego bricks and then told her#why the “lego brick” is fucked up“ He was just 14-15 and she was 18 btw😒literally harrassing a sweet KID.#was convenient though because all I had to do was give her a look and she would immediately back down. idk what I said when I yelled#at her but it was nice that I could do that whenever she would start shit#Mad rambles#idk y'all I'm scared that she's in HEALTH. if I know anything I'll see if I can report her because while I hope she wouldn't fuck with tran#folks medications idk for sure. she was really cruel back in high school.#vent#rant#I try not to post shit like this but I'm worried you know?
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watching this phantom boot for the second time today auaghhh
#my post#HOW HAVE I NEVER LISTENED TO THE ORIGINAL BROADWAY CAST BEFORE#?????#I AMINTEARS ITS SO BEAUTIDUK#the show is so different too!!! guess 35 years will do that to ya#i mean its not THAT different but its little things!! there was a lot more comedy when i just saw it compared to the og show#and the former opera owner actually managed to get peoples attention w/o madame giry???? wh???????????#weird!#yeag its just little things like line delivery really. i mean obv that chnages from actor to actor and even performace to performance#but ive seen. a LOT of ohantom boots from the last 10 years and from what ive seen the ohantom is usually.... kinda angry? very angry?#obv he kills people but i mean they have him yell a Lot. but the michael crawford phantom is making me cry hes so fucking sad. the soft way#he comes in with 'insolent boy this slave of fashion' like ive ONLY heard that sang with RAGE in the heart bu he was like. damn that kids#stupid. good think im here 4 u christine 👍#alsoalsoalso. the fucign. oh my god. in final lair.#when christine and raoul are boating away all 'say youll spend with me' etc#and he just. 'i love you' AUGAHAGHGHGHHHHHHHH SCREAMSSJ MY HEARTYSTTTTT#14 y/o erik apologist me would have been in fucking SHAMBLES just so we all know. id have been inconsolable
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Now that all is said and done(and most importantly: resolved), I have to say, the comedic timing of the penalty was incredible. Literally exactly a minute after the last shot of the podium(and about 3 after he received his trophy)
#i went back to check to make sure bcs it felt a lot longer in my memory#but it was literally: end of podium -> a minute of fireworks -> sudden 'fernando alonso'#i swear to you that the fia timed it to be as emotionally devastating as possible like seriously 1 min after is too perfect#so sudden that even the results/leaderboard on the f1 app werent accurate for prob 10 mins or more#(i took a screenshot of the original fernando p3 for posterity hahaha)#there I am sitting on the floor stretching out after a long race and BOOM not even a moment of respite#you know that scene in revenge of the sith where vader yells 'NOOOOOOOOO'?#LITERALLY ME LMAO#sry i just find it funny bcs my liveblogging was like 'oh hey max got FL and nando got 3rd' and the very next post was my rage hahaha#(yknow i bet anakin would also ragepost if his fav podracer didnt win the boonta classic)#i dont mean to drag this out or anything but every single circumstance of it is just perfectly timed and its killing me#is there a tag for this event#bcs i have a suggestion#'what is this!? penalties or ping pong!? I mean honestly!'#2023 saudi arabian gp#f1#formula 1#fernando alonso#aston martin#catie.race.lb#catie.rambling.txt
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Hash tag women in STEM <- knows the bare minimum of html code and is SCRAMBLING to stay sane about it
#turtledove yells into the abyss#sorry for talking about my website work a lot recently but I get so full of Rage at these codes
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Also there's not enough weird sexual undertone to banal violence anymore. How did they make a road rage Netflix horror and not make the car sexy? How did they just make it about a sad angry guy, and not the car as beast? Movies nowadays. Whoever wrote this clearly is not from the South and clearly has never had to navigate an unwalkable city on foot. Probably hasn't even been victim to a road rage incident.
#I had a road rage incident happen to me and my mom once and it just was not like. Only half there in this movie#It's there a little! The car feels scary itself. They do a good job of portraying it as this large imposing object#But when it happened to me it was both very fast and went on for an insane amount of time#And we barely caught a glimpse of the guy and didn't hear anything he was yelling#He just tried to run us off the side of the road for like two miles and then moved on with his day#And then later we got a ticket cause he scratched his car trying to kill us but apparently it's on us bc he called first#And my mom uhhhh merged improperly? Honestly I'm not sure she even did anything illegal. Was a minor ticket though#But what was terrifying there was the sudden change in behavior. And that guy thought he was totally in the right and went on with his day#The guy in the movie is somewhat accurate to a lot of southern road rage dicks but it's a bit off. They're usually coin flip rage types#Idk. It just didn't capture the same kind of fear.
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its only just before 9am and i already am several levels of pissed off
#Rasp Rambles#i really wish i had a proper outlet to vent my frustrations. i wish i lived anywhere but with my mom or anyone on her side of the family.#i’ve been scarily more aggressive than i’ve ever been. like i’m yelling a lot more than i ever have and i feel constantly full of rage.#hrt probably wouldn’t fix me but i know i’d probably be a hell of a lot happier.
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