#if a restaurant is more than 3/4 full i absolutely do not want to be there and i will turn around and leave

[celepeace]

I wanted to go to a bar/restaurant with lovely outdoor seating last week on a tuesday only to find it completely fucking packed when I got there and I got so irrationally angry about it. I was like "don't you people have LIVES??? WHY ARE YOU ALL HERE ON A TUESDAY??" as if I was not also there on a tuesday

[creepsterdreams]

Touchstarved HC's + mini-scenarios: The LI's as dads/parents, gn!MC

Content warnings: in certain parts it will mention MC being pregnant but I will tag that as “pregnant!MC” but other than that you can imagine the children are adopted :>, a bit of suggestive content(especially around Kuras’s), mention of vomit in Vere’s part, mention of manipulation in Leander’s part, overwhelming wholesomeness

Word count: 7.8k

Author’s note: I ended up loving this way more than I thought I did and I kinda want to turn this into a little mini-series so if you have any asks related to them as dads please feel free to send them! ^-^

AIS

In full honesty I can see this man having a big family, he won’t admit it, but he would love having a lot of kids 

Like I’m talking 6 kids, MINIMUM 

For Pregnant!MC: But even after that when you were 8 months pregnant with the 6th one he was asking when could you both “get to work” again and you lowkey had to threaten to cut his balls off(starting to think he might have a breeding kink)

But now to the babies themselves 

I lean more towards girl dad!Ais heavily but I also feel like he would be an amazing dad to some little boys, so with that said, I would say he has

Twin boys as the eldest(most likely ages 8-9)

A girl(6)

Another girl(4)

And one more girl(3)

One more boy(8 months)

Yea I know, a lot of babies 

He definitely used the excuse that the temple is big enough for all you when you asked how are you gonna take care of all of them

He wouldn’t tell you but he would thoroughly enjoy the times when he returns home and hears the sound of giggling and small feet running around 

With his little boys he is very playful and sometimes you have to tell him to chill on the roughhousing(the boys never mind it honestly)

Like if he’s not with you, out somewhere, with the girls, or whatever else he’s with them wrestling as if his life depended on it 

Meanwhile the youngest boy is just sitting there, giggling and clapping watching his dad and brothers fight 

Lowkey can barley cook for shit but dw, he’s more than happy to spend god knows how much money(or steal if we’re being honest) on food from restaurants in Eridia 

O m g he literally spoils his little girls to death(he spoils the boys too dw) 

Yes he has limits on what he can do or buy, yes he is fully aware that he can say no, but can you resist those adorable little puppy eyes?

Everytime you send him out and they go with him, he returns with what you wanted, but at least 5 other bags with him(spoiler alert they all belonged to the girls)

Whenever you confront him for it he just looks at you and sends his most innocent smile “I know I could’ve said no sparrow, but look at those faces? How can I resist that?”

Vere sometimes visits (Visits as in randomly walks in whenever he pleases) and plays with the kiddos, often giving you and Ais enough time to leave and spend some “alone time” together in Lowtown. He pretends he’s annoyed by them but you and Ais both know he’ll die for those kids. 

Honestly if anything you both expected them to be afraid of Vere but given that you have Princess as the family pet and live in the wastelands they have better things to be scared of

I’m sorry but his smoking habits do not go away even when he has kids T^T

He simply just learns to hide it better 

Aka he only does it when he’s away from them or their asleep and in the case where they catch him he throws it not giving a fuck where it could’ve landed 

Would most def give his kids names of japanese origin I’m sorry you cannot argue with me on this 

Moving on to the serious bits 

He has one huge rule that all the kiddos have to follow no matter what 

“Under absolutely no circumstance do you go near the sea spring.”

Ais specifically made it a priority to have your “house” parts of the temple far from it so they would never need a reason to go there

But unfortunately these are small children we’re talking about so of course their curiosity gets the best of them

The oldest twin was wandering around one day and stumbled upon it, voice began echoing in his head, luring him closer to the deadly waters. And just as he leaned down and was about to drink the mysterious liquid, a roaring voice yelling his name ripped him away from the waters 

Ais had never experienced pure terror so intense as he had then, and he never wants to feel that again(Ocedus lowkey took over for a moment when he was scolding the kiddo but he would never know that)

But moving on from the angst 

One of the best dads, genuinely 

He raises his boys to be strong but also knows it’s okay to have bad moments, and no one will judge you for them. But he also raises his young girls to be the same way, but he’s just a “tad” bit more protective of them. 

This demon loves his big family so much and wouldn’t trade them for anything

You and Ais were both laying down in your shared bed, you cuddled up against his chest while his arm was wrapped around you. You both were enjoying some time of relaxation in the early morning before any of the kids woke up, because unfortunately you knew once one was awake, the rest will all come piling out of their shared room in due time.

After a few minutes, Ais’s face pulls into a soft smirk, sighing sarcastically before looking down at you.

“Here comes trouble.”

Whelp, shit 

That’s when all of the sudden, the sound of rapid footsteps came racing, and then you and Ais were being crushed by both of your sons.

“Papa! [preferred parents name]! Get uuuppp!” The eldest yelled at the two of you.

“Alright alright you little gremlins we’re coming.” Ais says while laughing before pulling both of his sons into a headlock.

But just as you were sitting up and getting ready to stand, that’s when two of your daughters came racing, screaming for you and Ais also jumping onto the futon. You catch the both of them and let out a surprised noise, holding them close to your chest. 

But finally, your oldest daughter walks in, carrying your youngest son in her arms while giggling. Ais notices the baby with her and raises his eyebrow.

“Sweetheart, what did we say about sneaking in here and taking your little brother?” 

She lets out another giggle, holding her brother closer while walking to you and Ais. “But he wanted to play with us! I know he did!” 

Ais then releases the two boys from his arms, quickly reaching over to grab your daughter and son and pull them onto his lap, before proceeding to tickle her.

You put down your other kids before leaning over to grab your son and coo at him as he reaches his small hands towards you.

Ais eventually stops tickling the young girl and lays down again with her in his arms, signaling over to you to lay down with them. Before you know it, you, Ais, and all of the kiddos are cuddling together while wrapped around blankets, guess whatever playing they were doing before coming here wore them out surprisingly fast.

As the kids all fell asleep once again, you and Ais remained awake for some more time. Peering up at him, you send him a small smile, basking in the comfort and warmth of the room. He looks right back at you with an expression that only can be described as loving, he leans down, pressing a soft kiss against your lips, quiet whispers of “I love you” echoing through your ears.

He truly couldn’t ask for a better way to wake up.

LEANDER

Although I can definitely see him as a family man, I feel like Leander would like to have some space between when he has kids instead of rushing to have one after the other 

Getting A LOT of girl dad vibes from this man, he would love to have a little princess and you can’t tell me otherwise 

I can see him with one shy little one who’s always hiding behind her dad’s leg when he’s talking to people

He’s extremely extroverted and she’s the definition of an introvert so everyone’s wondering where she got it from(most likely you)

For pregnant!MC, he treated you like a god throughout the entirety of those 9 months. Even tho he was a bit disgusted by some of your cravings, he wanted to keep you happy

“Sure sweetheart of course I can get you cookies with a side of pickle juice ^-^”

He loves that little girl to death omg

As in whatever she wants, she gets

If she wants to have a tea party with him featuring some of the bloodhounds, guess what? Grab him a tiara and a tea cup that can barely fit in his hand

Unfortunately one of the issues that came with her was now he couldn’t spend as much time at the Wet Wick as he would’ve pleased, sure most of it was still gonna be spent there but how would he explain why he had a 6 year old with him at a bar?

 So that led to him eventually finding a home as close as possible to the damn place so at least he wouldn’t have to walk far(He asked the owner at first if he can actually have the spare room upstairs for all three of you and she almost banned him all together)

Loves taking her out on adventures in Lowtown and even has a little handmade bloodhound cloak made for her

I’m sorry for anyone who will find this cringe but he would unironically call her “babygirl”

I just get those kinda vibes 

Literally takes at least an hour once a day to teach her a little bit about magic because she wanted to be able to conjure her own flowers

Most of her wardrobe is filled with the nicest dresses and outfits money can buy(50% of the money is what he gets from jobs and the other 50% is whatever is left over from his allowance of when he was still living with family)

Aside from her shyness, she is literally a mini him 

You lost count of how many random small animals she’s brought home and begged to keep

“Honey I understand that it was hurt after falling off some boxes, but that is a soulless.”

On occasion you’ve caught her using the little bit of magic Leander taught her to make her stuffed animals walk around, but you thought the sight was so adorable you didn’t say anything about it

He has been singing her lullaby’s since she was a baby and it’s to a point where she can recall every lyric in a heartbeat

It makes him cry but he denies it everytime 

Seems like the kinda guy that would name her something like “Skylar”, “Rosemary”, “Magnolia”, or “Tallulah”

Definitely something that sounds beautiful or adventurous 

A little more angsty headcanons 

Giving that the biggest analysis we have of his character is that his whole kindness act is a facade and that a monster hides beneath that 

As she continues growing, Leander becomes increasingly more protective 

Sure she has other friends and most likely people she can spend time with, but how would Leander be able to keep an eye on her if he isn’t around?

Spoiler alert, he has bloodhounds follow her around and report everything back to him 

She’s out at the market with some besties getting food? Cool, he’ll pretend he didn’t already know that when she comes back home to tell him all about it

However, unfortunately, one of those bloodhounds couldn’t be careful enough and she found out 

Cue an hour long argument where she’s telling him she can protect herself and doesn’t need him stalking her

Cue him saying it’s to keep her safe and that she should be lucky he isn’t keeping her in the house 24/7(whoopsie the bad side slipped out a bit)

Eventually you have to step in and tell the both of them to relax and talk when they're both calm :( 

Back to the wholesomeness though

He genuinely cherishes her and always makes sure that she has whatever her heart desires 

But he also teaches her to protect those who can’t protect themselves 

But even after she grows into a strong fighter, at the end of the day she’ll always be his little girl

Leander was sitting at his desk, quietly filling out some paperwork after a long week of back to back jobs for the bloodhounds. He was exhausted, but there was work to be done. 

But as he was busy writing out some reports, the door to the small study opened, and in walked none other than his daughter, who was holding one of her many stuffed animals close to her chest.

“...Daddy?” She called out to him in a hushed tone. 

Leander quickly looked up from the paper, eyes drifting over to the small girl who was standing in the doorway. He sat the pen he was holding down and set the huge stack to the side. That all can wait, what was more important was making sure she was okay.

“Hey there baby girl, everything okay?” He stood up and walked over to her, crouching down so he was on her level.

She looked down at the floor shyly, trying to muster up the courage to continue talking. She hugged her teddy bear closer to her, hiding her face within its fur. “I can’t sleep..Can I stay with you?”

Leander’s face automatically lit up, and he shot her a wide grin. “Of course you can! Come on.” 

After saying that, Leander leans over to pick the little girl up, sliding his arm underneath her body so she can hang off of his side. He then walks back over to the desk, sitting down and adjusting her so she is now resting on his lap. 

“Comfortable?” 

She nodded slowly, snuggling closer into his arms so her head was now resting on his chest. 

Leander smiles down at her, wrapping his right arm tightly around her body so she is secure. But as Leander was about to return to his work, she spoke up yet again.

“Daddy? Can you sing that song from last night?”

Leander glanced down at her again before letting out a light chuckle, “If that’s what my princess wants.” 

Leander clears his throat and sits back in the chair, the little girl grinning in happiness as she hears the sound of her father’s voice beginning to echo throughout the room. 

Some time later you're wandering around the house, searching for your daughter. You wanted to check on her after putting her to bed some time ago, you were honestly beginning to feel worried as you hadn’t even heard her leave the bedroom. But then you remembered there was one place you hadn’t checked, Leander’s study. 

Taking light steps down the hall, you're eventually able to slowly open the door, and the sight you're greeted with almost brings you to tears. 

Leander is resting back against the chair, his arms securely wrapped around your little girl as if he’s trying to protect her from whatever might appear through the door, and head shifted to the side, facing her. Your daughter is laying across his lap with her head against his chest using it as a makeshift pillow, with her holding her teddy bear closely to her body. 

You smile warmly, using your hand to cover your mouth as you walk over to the two of them. Once you reach the chair, you lean down just enough to press a soft kiss on Leander’s head, using your right hand to caress his cheek and swipe some hair out of his face. You then do the same thing to your daughter, placing a kiss on the top of her head and readjusting her a bit so she won’t potentially slip out of his arms, although judging by how tight he’s holding on, you doubt it. 

After kissing them goodnight, you slowly walk towards the door again, not wanting to wake either of them. Before closing the door, you whisper a small “goodnight my loves”, and leave the two of them alone for the night. 

KURAS

The question we should be asking is can this man even have children?

He’s quite literally a biblical angel who has been alive for centuries. Are we sure he’s even fertile?????

We shall find out 

I feel like Kuras was very conflicted on the idea of children for a while, he’s a doctor who is constantly on the job and probably doesn’t have time for most personal pleasures 

But after a time where a panicked mother brought her son to the clinic because he was hurt while playing with some friends, he was considering some things

Seeing her worry so much for him, care so much about his safety that she ran god knows how many blocks to get here? It interested him 

Pregnant!MC, it honestly shocked you a few weeks later when Kuras confirmed you were in fact carrying his child. Mostly due to the fact that Kuras isn’t even remotely human

But alas, here you are

I can see Kuras as both a girl dad and a boy dad 

But I can see him with a little boy that is literally a carbon copy of him 

Pregnant!MC, you were very disappointed when you spent 9 months cooking him in your stomach just for him to pop out with only some of your features 

But if we’re talking adoption then the young boy just straight up snatches his entire personality and his intelligence 

Imagine going to the doctor’s clinic for a check up and you here him ask for some bandages but your confused since no one else is there

Just for a few seconds later a boy who looks no older than at least 10 comes into the room and hands him the bandages and leaves as if that exchange was completely normal 

I get the kind of vibes that he would name him something fancy sounding. Like “Emil” or “Alaster” 

Something that definitely rolls off the tongue nice 

But given that your son got his intelligence, that also means he got his sass 

You thought the reason your little boy was struggling to make friends his age was because his maturity level was a little too high for them, but turns out it was because he kept pulling pranks and roasting the absolute fuck out of them

So that led to you and Kuras having to sit him down and explain to make friends he had to be nice not give them a bottle of basically the equivalent of a fart bomb while lying and saying it was a “good smelling flower”

Of course he listened and was able to make some friends, but unfortunately, the pranks did not go away. He just only started doing them after he knew them for a while 

He definitely fake gags whenever he sees you and Kuras being affectionate with each other 

“Ewwww your basically swapping saliva”

The way he and Kuras get along is bonding over science 

Sitting around the clinic for hours going through different books and papers 

There have been occasions where you’ve came back and saw him passed out in Kuras’s arms because Kuras was reading a book about astronomy to him 

It was so wholesome you almost cried 

A bit of angst

Now we all know Kuras’s worst flaw is his lack of empathy 

It’s not that he doesn’t care at all, it’s just he struggles to understand other people’s emotions 

So this caused some conflict between him and his son :( 

It’s been theorized that whatever Kuras’s “true form” is, is something extremely similar to a biblical angel 

And with that we can guess if you had your son through biological means, that form passed to him as well (we love genetics)

There was a day where Kuras witnessed a crowd of people, adults and children all running away from a specific area. At first, he wondered if someone could’ve gotten injured, so that’s why he went straight in the opposite direction that everyone else was going. Unfortunately, someone was in fact injured, even more unfortunate, the cause of that said injury was his son. Someone had been bullying one of his friends and in a moment of anger from wanting to protect him he accidentally transformed. A day that Kuras wanted to be far from now 

(If your son is adopted then you can pretend that he just got mad and beat up the other kid and felt bad about the fact that he lost his cool)

So that led to Kuras having to carry the injured boy while you carried your son that was currently bawling in your arms after he realized what happened 

After treating the young lad and waiting for his parents to come and find him. Kuras brought his son to his room to talk (that he somehow had personally made. Where did he get the money from? Does he even know how to build a room???) 

At first the talk did not go well. Kuras had to sit there and explain to him how his abilities work, where he got them from, and attempt to do an even better job in comforting him over the situation. And your son, still being emotional (which is understandable he just horribly injured a person without knowing), felt like Kuras didn’t care enough.

So as a result, he refused to speak to him for days. Like daayyyyssss

It wasn’t until Kuras convinced you to make his favorite dish (because remember he can’t cook for shit), and have it for dinner so then he’ll have to speak to him. Which eventually led to them making up and your son being all smiles again :>

But moving on from the sadness

Kuras wants to make sure his boy grows up being the best person he can be. Giving him all the resources he needs (practically home schooled him), teaching him all the life lessons he needs, and making sure he always cared for others

Can’t have him making the same mistakes as he did 

Even though he might not show it a lot, he loves that kid more than anything, and he wouldn’t trade your little family for the world ^-^

After putting your son to bed, you and Kuras finally had some sort of alone time. With you still trying to find a way into the Senobium to find some information linked to your curse, and Kuras having patients day in and day out, you guys barely had any time with each other. So thankfully, after tonight's dinner, and some more playing, your son was out like a light much earlier than you expected. 

Kuras was currently resting on top of you, his hands on each side of your head as he places gentle kisses onto your face and neck, reveling in the sound of your giggles as your own pair of hands drag through his hair. 

“Getting restless are we darling?” He says teasingly. 

You laugh at him again, messing up his hair and bringing him close to share a deep kiss. You feel the sensation of his tongue grazing your bottom lip. You then flip the both of you over so you're the one on top and start dragging your hand down down his chest, getting more closer to the top of his pants. 

But suddenly, a quiet voice interrupted the heating atmosphere. 

“.....Father? [preferred parent name]?” 

At the speed of the gods themselves, you quickly jumped off of Kuras, sitting on the side of the bed, and facing your son. Kuras sat up as well, grabbing a robe so he could cover himself a bit. After that he turned towards the door again, wondering why his son was up so suddenly. 

“Why are you awake little one? Is something troubling you?” He said with a concerned tone. 

Your son fiddles with the ends of his pajamas for a moment, obviously a little nervous about answering the question. 

“I had a bad dream, and now I can’t sleep. Can you read me a story…please?” 

Kuras looks surprised for a moment, before he lets out a snicker and scoots over a bit before patting the area, signaling his son to come sit. The young boy makes his way over to the bed, climbing up onto it and sitting down in between the two of you, watching as Kuras leans over to a small table and picks up a book. 

He opens it to the first page, leaning closer so your son can also see the words, and then he begins reading. 

After a while, Kuras manages to get through a good amount of the book, his smooth, silk voice providing good narration for your son, luring him into another deep sleep as he rests against his chest. 

Kuras himself is pulled into his own little daze, his eyes stretching across the paper as he reads every word out loud. But a small bump against his shoulder brings him back to reality. Looking over he notices you have also fallen asleep, lying down against his shoulder and softly snoring. He smiles softly before grabbing a bookmark and placing it on the book before closing it and putting it back on the table.

He then scoots even closer, leaning his own head against yours, and wrapping his arms around the both of you in a soft embrace. 

His own way of promising protection, reassuring that no harm may come to either of you as long as he’s around.

VERE

How you even managed to date this man much less have children with him is a mystery within itself 

For the longest period, you always believed that Vere wanted nothing to do with kids

And honestly, he himself understood why you thought that\

He’s been alive for centuries, and for most of those centuries him and small children were never a good mix

It was always either they were scared of him, or he found their never-ending hyperactivity annoying 

But one day, while Vere was walking behind you (more like stalking you but you’ll never find out). He noticed that you stopped to help a little girl who was looking for her mom along the busy streets. She was crying but you managed to calm her down by buying her something sweet, and then after that you walked around, looking for her mother. You did eventually find her, and the woman thanked you profusely for finding her daughter, and you replied back saying it was no problem. 

But that sight alone warmed something in Vere. Rarely ever in his years of living had he seen something so soft, so gentle and loving. 

So eventually when you returned back to your home at the wet wick, Vere was already sitting on your bed waiting for you. And before you could ask, he was immediately in your face asking a question you never expected to hear from him 

“How do you feel about having children, my pet?”

“......huh?”

Pregnant!MC - Cue to a few weeks later when both you and Kuras are staring at each other in complete shock when he tells you that yes, you are in fact pregnant 

And Vere is just standing outside with the most smug look on his face

But annnywwaayyyy

Cut to current times and now you and Vere are holding twin baby girls

I’m sorry just like the others he gives off girl dad vibes

Even if you decided to adopt rather than go through the pregnancy, somehow Vere managed to find two fox babies, so either way, he had his fox children (Don’t ask where he found them, you don’t want to know)

Is…surprisingly an okay dad?

 He’s not perfect, then again he’s not horrible, it’s a weird situation 

His pet names for them could use some work but hey, it looks cute from a distance 

Because “my precious little monsters”, “my little terrors”, and “my little nightmares” would not look good to others. But to Vere it's somehow perfect???

He spoils those babies to hell and back, like literally everything they own is of the top most quality 

“Of course I can’t have my children caught dead in anything less. They need to look just as good as I do.”

Sometimes people avoid walking down the same street as them because they get embarrassed by the fact that literally infants have better stuff than them

Now the question is, where did you even put all of these things?

Upon getting the babies, Vere had you (ahem forced) moved out of the room in the wet wick because “I would be damned if I let that egotistical man-child be near my girls for longer than he needs to be.” 

And hence, you and the babies were moved into a little town house Vere had found that had been abandoned for a while, and he refurbished it himself. And it turns out it had been close to his favorite restaurant which was nice. 

But as he spoils them as much as possible, the personal care can use some work.

Feeding them? No problem. burping them? No problem (however he does hold them in a weird position so they can’t possibly vomit and get it all over his clothes, it gets the job done but still T-T). Putting them to sleep? Can take a bit because he does get a little impatient, but it works out eventually. Playing with them? An absolute pro. Changing them? Yea that’s unfortunately your job MC, he does have a sensitive nose. 

Ais sometimes visits and plays with the little princesses while you and Vere go off and hang out together (and also get some “alone” time)

He definitely gives them very fancy sounding names that also definitely match. 

“Luna & Lilah”, “Olivia & Sophia”, “Penelope & Poppy”, the list goes on 

On top of spoiling them, he also does the thing where he pretends to understand exactly what they're saying even if it’s just babbling, but except it's in the worst way possible. 

“Ababbababbasdindasnd”

“Hmmm…yes my dear I completely agree, those pants do absolutely hideous on him”

“Vere omg stop he’s looking at us-”

Unfortunately, some angst

Given Vere’s situation, there do come some complicated situations. In which it leads to Vere being 2x as protective over all of you 

The Senobium never expected him to love someone, even less have children with them

So Vere really has no choice but to hide things from both parties here. With the kids, having to excuse his random disappearances as just adventures, and having to tell those damn clerics that he has no one. 

Those long hours that he has to spent locked up in some dungeon only makes him feel even guiltier because he knows his excuses aren't going to last forever 

But of course, his double life didn’t last forever

A day where he was finally able to return home after hours of killing people for the Senobium, instead of being greeted with you probably sitting in your shared bed while watching your two girls babble and giggle away. Instead he finds you on the ground, crying, and clutching your stomach as if you were injured. And the babies nowhere to be found

Vere rushes over, immediately disregarding any jokes he had in his head to ask you what happened.

You explain to him that some clerics had somehow found out where you lived and charged into the house, demanding to give them very personal information. When you refused to answer they attacked you and took the girls with them.

You apologized to Vere over and over again, blaming yourself for not being able to protect them better. But Vere told you it’s not your fault, it’s the fault of the ones who thought it would be smart to fuck with what’s his. 

Vere of course marched up right to the place where they were keeping his kids, even before he could enter he heard the sounds of their cries, only angering him further 

Now he knew he couldn’t kill the clerics, that was one of the damn enchantments they had put on the collar he’s wearing, but they never said he couldn’t injure them

When he got there, they did antagonize him. Getting on him for keeping something sooo important from them, condescendingly asking what would the Abess think if she found out he was hiding such a secret.

 But what really pissed him off was when they had the balls to insinuate that maybe they should enslave his babies too, since he was so keen on being a family man

Yea let’s just say they were all in comas by the time he was finished. He’ll deal with the Abess later, his daughters were his biggest priority right now. 

He had never felt that much fear in his life as he did at that moment. He immediately grabbed the two of them and held them as close as possible for a long time, checking for any injuries. A part of him was furious at himself for not getting there sooner to do something, but he knew what was important right now was calming them down

He’ll never let something like that happen again

But moving on from the angst 

Although Vere can be a bit difficult when it comes to actually caring for his kids, he still loves them nonetheless, in his own Vere way 

And even though he raises them to be the best of the best, and take shit from no one, resulting in them inheriting his sassiness. They do become very sweet young ladies, which is good for you :>

Both you and Vere were sleeping in your shared room. His arms and tail wrapped around you in a tight embrace. But the quietness was broken by the sound of your youngest crying from the other room, probably feeling lonely and wanting one of you there with her. You and Vere slowly sit up from your places on the bed, filled with exhaustion and grumbling from being woken up. 

But before you can get up to go comfort the little one, Vere pushes you back down so your head is resting against the pillow again. “I’ll take care of her, go back to sleep.”

You raise an eyebrow at him. “Are you sure? I know you get extra grumpy when something wakes you out of your beauty sleep.”

Vere rolls his eyes at your remark, getting up to grab one of his designer robes and throw it on before walking to the bedroom door. “You better not be awake by the time I get back.”

You playfully throw back a “yes sir” before laying back down and closing your eyes, causing him to snicker before leaving and making his way towards the nursery. 

Walking in, he makes quick but quiet steps towards the crib where his baby girl was, taking note to not accidentally wake up his other daughter. (thank the gods she was a deep sleeper)

Her ears were currently pulled back against her head and her tail was pointing straight down as her tears continued rolling down her face. 

Once reaching the crib, Vere picked her up and held her against his chest. “Oh my little monster, what’s bothering you hm?”

He holds her close and walks over to a rocking chair that was sitting in a corner of the room, after sitting down on it he begins slowly rocking them both and trying to hush her tears. 

After a few minutes, her cries begin to calm down and turn into soft whimpers. This makes Vere show a soft smile, happy that was able to get her to settle down. 

“There you go my precious one, good girl.” He keeps rocking, not wanting the possibility of the girl getting fussy again. 

She giggles in response, grabbing her tail and chewing on the ends of it. Vere laughs and removes it from her mouth before grabbing her hand and playfully nibbling on it, this makes her laugh again and wriggle in his arms. 

Eventually, she was able to fall asleep again, this time in her father’s arms as he watched her with nothing but love in his eyes. 

MHIN

It’s honestly the same thing with Vere, how you manage to even get into something romantic with them much less have kids is truly one of the wonders of the world

And just like Vere, you always assumed Mhin would want nothing to do with kids

For multiple reasons

They were never in one place for too long, they were constantly grumpy/in a bad mood, their job was hunting for a living, not to mention their apparent curse probably made things 10x more difficult than it needed to be. 

But being all honest, you noticed the empathetic look in their eyes as whenever the both of you were passing the orphanage, you can tell they felt bad for those children who had no other family to turn too, and wished they could do something about it

So with that, the both of you ended up having very long discussion about where to go from there, and what to do with both of your wishes

So that’s how you ended up with a baby boy in your arms that the women at the orphanage were very insistent on you and Mhin caring for 

I apologize to anyone that wanted to see Pregnant!MC for Mhin but I always imagined them as the kind of person that preferred adoption over pregnancy T-T but I might make a separate post for how LI’s would act with Pregnant!MC :>

Of course you and Mhin did your best to make any preparations for a child, but you weren’t expecting the orphanage to find someone for you that fast

You were honestly surprised when Mhin brought you to the outskirts of Lowtown where there was a small house that looked almost abandoned that had apparently been where they called home for months 

When you questioned them about it they just responded with saying they wanted to lay low so they found somewhere no one would expect them to be 

Also

“I didn’t want you…or him to be around that fucker while we’re trying to keep him safe.”

Yes they were talking about Leander

They also want to keep the baby around only Kuras until they deem everyone else trustworthy(no you cannot talk them out of this)

But eventually when your able to settle down with the little guy, things feel a little more domestic 

It was a tough transition for the both of you, but you managed to get through it :>

Mhin tries to stop taking less jobs and finding ways to sneak into the Senobium, but now that they have you and their son now, they are even more determined to find a way to get rid of their own curse because now their paranoia of hurting you two has doubled 

And with that Mhin was afraid of getting too close for a while, leaving most of the care to you while they watched from behind 

But one day after a long time of convincing, you managed to convince them to hold the little one

It was honestly a little funny watching them panic a bit while the little guy rests in their arms, it was a situation that they had never been faced with 

But they eventually got the hang of it and even played with him a bit, making them smile as they watched their son giggle 

After that Mhin started caring for him more, picking up whatever needed to be done whenever you were away or wanted a break

I can see Mhin wanting to name him something with russian origins, idk why but russian Mhin has been on my mind lately and I can’t get it out 

Something like “Luka”, “Dimitri”, or “Lev”

Even though Kuras is the only doctor in Eridia, he is still the only doctor Mhin is willing to trust with their baby boy

Anytime there is a problem with him Mhin is immediately putting him into a wrap carrier and racing towards the clinic

Nine times out of ten he just has a small cold but Mhin panicked 

They totally still try and do some cultural things that they remember from Lovent with the kiddo, even if it’s barely anything at all it’s enough to bring a smile to their face :>

He doesn’t spoil his little boy as much as the others do, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t get spoiled at all

Mhin’s way of spoiling him is whenever they come across something they think he might like while out on a job, it’s in their pockets moments later 

It doesn’t happen all the time, but it’s still adorable 

And now some angst

Given that the biggest headcanon about their curse is that the times they can transform is almost unpredictable, this creates some issues between all of you, especially when they return home from jobs

Mhin of course has an entire protocol for whenever this happens, giving you an entire rundown for it in case they ever transform.

If it ever happens and they're outside the house, lock every point of entry and don’t let them in no matter what. But if they're ever inside the house and it happens, take your son and leave as quickly as possible and go to Kuras. 

But one day, something you never expected happened one night

You were awoken to the sound of your maybe making noises that could only be described as curiosity and almost…joy? 

Sitting up, what you see makes you immediately freeze in place. In the corner of the room opposite of your son’s crib, a massive, black figure sits, its huge, white eyes glow, being one of the only things visible. Somehow your automatically able to tell it’s Mhin, mostly due to the fact that you know of no other bird like creatures

You didn’t know what to do, every possible thing you could’ve done would have opened the possibility of setting…it off 

So all you can do is sit there as your baby keeps giggling and them, while you and the bird just stare at each other 

Eventually, you notice it began to shrink, signaling that Mhin was slowly returning. And you couldn’t be any happier for that news

But once Mhin was finally back, they were crouched down on the floor, breathing heavily and holding a hand against their neck

Your son took notice of this and began whimpering, about to cry from seeing his parent in distress

The next day your little boy was sent to Kuras for a while to check for any injuries, while you and Mhin stayed behind. Unfortunately, this started a massive argument between the two of you

Mhin angry because you both could’ve been in terrible danger and they wouldn’t have been able to live with the thought that they could’ve killed you two. And you telling them that you had no other choice but to sit and no nothing because if you attempted to run then that would’ve only made the situation worse

The argument went on for some time, both of you going back and forth for god knows how long. Eventually, it just resulted in both of you sitting in uncomfortable silence, not wanting to say anything to the other 

But eventually, Mhin spoke up again, saying that their fear of hurting the two of you was stronger than anything else, and they would rather not have a family at all then live with the guilt of what would happen.

So you guys did end up making up, managing to talk things through and find a compromise :>

Moving on from the angst

Like Vere before, Even if it’s rare that Mhin would directly say “I love you” It’s always told through their actions 

From willing to spend countless hours comforting their son, or trying to get him to sleep, or just playing with him, that alone tells you enough that they love him more than anything than whatever's left in this wretched world.

And they wouldn’t have it any other way ^-^

Mhin was returning home late one night after a long hunt of killing soulless. They were utterly exhausted and wanted nothing more than to pass out in your arms. 

Dragging themselves through the door, they are met with the sight of you sleeping soundly in the bed, in a position giving them the idea that you were waiting for them to return. They took off their cloak and threw it onto the floor before taking off their boots and setting them next to the door. 

But before they can flop down against the bed, a high pitched giggle rings through their ears. Turning around they see their baby boy standing up in his crib while hanging on to the ledges, his giggling only escalating when he notices them looking at him. Mhin walks over to the crib, leaning over to pick up the little one and bring him into their arms. 

“Shhhhh…you’ll wake up your [preferred parent name].” They say as they lightly bounce the little one in their arms. 

They walk over to the small playpen they made themselves and sit down in it, setting their son on their lap before grabbing a toy that has the appearance of a baby duck. The baby immediately reaches towards it while laughing, showing off his gummy smile. Mhin softly smiles, making the toy look like it’s walking towards him while making some “quacking” noises. This makes the boy giggle even more, doing his best to mimic the sounds even though he hasn’t been speaking for that long yet. 

Eventually, Mhin places the toy on his lap, letting him grab onto it while wagging it around in the air. While he was doing this, Mhin removed their shirt, exposing the bandages that were covering their chest, they then threw the shirt to where their cloak is, telling themselves they’ll get it in the morning. 

After about a good hour of playing with their little boy, they eventually take the toy from him, making him whimper a bit as he reaches for it again, but Mhin lightly shushing him calms him back down. 

Mhin then takes him back into his arms, lifting themselves up and walking over to the bed and sitting down against it, making sure to move carefully to not wake you up. 

After that, they lay down in the bed, still holding the little one close to their chest as they lean their head back against the pillow. 

It takes a while but he does eventually fall asleep, resting against their chest as they wrap their arm softly around his body, and letting their free hand lay on the small of your back. 

And then it was their turn to fall asleep, but this time, instead of having the regular restless slumber they usually experience, it was quiet, and peaceful for once. 

Author’s note: This ended up being so much longer than I had anticipated but it was very much worth the wait and I hope you enjoy it just as much as I do ^-^

[ladykailitha]

Around the World Part 6

Hello! And welcome to another chapter of this very underrated fic. Thank you to everyone who has given it love in the way of comments, reblogs/tags, and likes.

It's London calling! And we meet a Murray Bauman in the wild. Eddie and Steve get a little introspective and Steve does something rash.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

~

Their trip through the haunting and beautiful Ireland was amazing. So many tales and history. This is why Steve wanted to do more than just America like Eddie had originally wanted, because America just didn’t have the history Europe and other places did. Not unless you wanted to disturb actual First Nation people and that was something he wanted to avoid at all cost, thank you.

They were on the ferry from Northern Ireland to Scotland and Steve was looking out over his shoulder at the water as he leaned against the guardrail. He tilted his head back and closed his eyes, allowing the wind to blow through his hair.

Eddie slid his arm around him and Steve laid his head on his shoulder.

Today Eddie had his beard and faux-dreadlocks in a light blue button up shirt and cream colored wide-legged pants. His chunky sunglasses covered the his face.

“You know,” Eddie murmured, “until we reached this leg of our journey and you started to disguise me, I didn’t realize how much I missed just being Eddie Munson, regular guy. I can really see the appeal of you and friends’ way of doing it.”

“Yeah,” Steve said softly. “Of course it means that we can’t go all out and buy everything we want, stay in fancy hotels, show up at restaurants without a reservation and get in. But I can go into my local grocery store and buy two tubs of mint ice cream because I felt like it.” He lifted his head to look Eddie in the eye. “Like some Karen would judge me, but it’s not going to go up on TMZ that I’m letting myself go.”

God, Eddie had had that happen more times than he cared to count. Like once Chrissy was on her period and he went to go get her chocolate, Ben and Jerry’s, and pads. Before he even got to his car it was all over the internet that he was letting himself go, just because it was 2am and his best friend needed something to help her feel better.

“You think you’ll ever come out?” he asked, pulling Steve in closer.

It was a familiar and well-worn topic of theirs; whether or not Steve would ever come out as bisexual at least.

He ducked his head and looked away. He didn’t know. He didn’t like hiding parts of himself for those he loved. He would like to tell people this is the love of my life.

“Would you leave me if I said no?” he mumbled, not daring to look up.

Eddie placed his finger under Steve’s chin and lifted his head gently. “Of course not, Stevie. There are literal actors who have been married for years and no one knows. It’s just between them. We could do that too. Just a quiet ceremony, Robin and Chrissy as the witnesses, and a justice of the peace.”

Steve let out a weak sort of watery laugh and shook his head. “I want all our friends there, famous and otherwise. I want a full tilt party with music playing into the early hours of the morning. I want fancy tuxes and flowers galore. I know I might not get that, the absolute coward that I am. But if I marry you, it be to scream from the rooftops that I love you.”

Eddie bumped their shoulders together. “Softy.” Steve blushed. “Besides there is nothing in the world that says we can’t have it both ways. Have a quiet little ‘just us’ and then go full tilt when you come out. You don’t even have to tell anyone. Just a little comfort that I’m not going anywhere.”

Steve pressed a gentle kiss to Eddie’s cheek. “I’ll think about it.”

Eddie kissed him deeply and then tucked his head under his chin and they stayed like that until the ferry docked in Scotland.

~

God, Scotland and England were beautiful countries Eddie decided as he watched the rolling green hills from his train window. That was another thing he really liked about Europe in general, just all the different ways to travel that weren’t a car.

He looked over at Steve who had his glasses on and reading a book. He smiled at the title. His boyfriend wasn’t a fantasy fan or science fiction either, really, but put a clever mystery in his hands and you would have to pry to the book from his cold, dead fingers.

He glanced over at Chrissy and Robin who were playing Go Fish! They had asked him if he wanted to join them, but he passed. He rarely got time to just relax and watch the scenery go by when he was on tour. He was always doing something related to the band. Writing music, practicing, talking about the next venue, interview, or TV spot.

Him and his friends had fun, because of course they did. But it was nice to just let his mind wander. Currently he was sad that they were going to have to miss Wales this time. He really wanted to buy some Welsh gold jewelry. It’s super rare and absolutely gorgeous.

Maybe he would have to come back later and get something special for Steve. Just something simple like matching bands even if it wasn’t on the left hand. Or necklaces. Just something simple to prove they were it for each other.

“I made an appointment with a well-known tattoo artist in London,” Steve said nonchalant, but like he was reading Eddie’s thoughts.

Everyone stopped what they were doing and turned to Steve. Robin nearly giving herself whiplash in her speed.

“As your friend, manager, and platonic soulmate,” she said darkly, “I advise against that. You can cover it up but someone, somewhere will see it.”

Steve looked up from his book and leveled her with his best bitchy glare. “Not if it’s on my ass.”

Chrissy and Eddie’s eyebrows shot up and they shared a shocked glance. Eddie always loved tattoos, he had a couple of stick and poke style ones from when he was young and stupid and couldn’t afford to pay for an artist to do the job, but there was one place, well technically two if you included his dick, which he absolutely did, that he refused to get a tattoo on and that was his ass. Not being able to sit down properly for what would probably be weeks was not his idea of a good time.

“Not really, though, right?” Chrissy asked with a grimace.

Steve took off his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Of course not really. Sheesh, you guys. But I hid fucking hickies from the both of you for a year and you never noticed, so I’m pretty sure I can hide one fucking tattoo.”

Robin and Chrissy shared their little ‘manager’ glance and Chrissy folded first.

“You’re right, Steve,” she said calmly. “Not once did you forget or slip up and you should be applauded for that. But is there a reason you’re deciding to get a tattoo now instead of waiting until we’re back in the States and you can use Eddie’s personal artist?”

He looked over at Robin and their little telepathy thing went off again and this time Robin folded first.

“It’s for Eddie,” she murmured. “They can’t be out as a couple and with Steve being the romantic that he is, wouldn’t want to get married without all his friends there, so this is his way of telling Eddie he isn’t going anywhere either.”

Eddie blinked for a moment. “Do you think they take walk-ins?”

“I booked it for both of us.” Steve smiled at him and took his hand. Eddie beamed back at him.

“They are so disgustingly cute,” Robin huffed, crossing her arms. “I bet Steve has this really sweet idea for a tattoo that even if people do notice it they won’t be able to tell the meaning but he and Eddie will know and be so sickeningly precious about it.”

Eddie gave him a huge kiss on the cheek. “I love my super clever boyfriend and can’t wait to see what this brilliant plan is.”

~

Steve’s brilliant plan was half of a white mask on Eddie’s inner wrist and half of guitar on Steve’s and when they held hands it formed almost heart.

The tattoo artist was really impressed with the idea and was more than happy to implement it. Steve walked out of there, completely smug as Chrissy pointed out. Deservedly so.

They were to stay in London for three days because of all the haunted places in London alone, there were so many worth visiting. They were going to start at Jack the Ripper tour and move onto the tour of London.

The tour they learned with deep dismay had accidentally been scheduled at 2pm and not 2am like Eddie had thought it said. It was so boring and their tour guide so dull, Eddie accidentally tripped of one of those concrete pillars they had in the middle of the sidewalk to prevent cars from driving up on it.

“Oof!” Eddie wheezed as he straightened up. “Why do they even put those things here?”

“Chrissy Cunningham,” a nasally voice said from behind them. “What are you doing in my neck of the woods?”

They all turned slowly to see a weaselly little bald man with thick horn-rimmed glass.

“Holy shit,” Chrissy said slowly. “Murray Bauman, as I live and breath. What the hell are you doing in London?”

He shrugged. “Eking out a living doing tours for bored tourists. When the biggest metal band in the world drops you, so does everyone else.”

Chrissy and Eddie shared a grimace. Corroded Coffin had deliberately did that to Nancy after the shit she pulled with Steve and trying to be The Fallen’s agent. But this one was a complete accident.

“Oh fuck off,” Robin said with a grin. “You love it. I can tell. You have actual notes written down, you have a map marked with all the spots the murders take place. I bet you have all the great stories.”

Murray flushed and cocked his head to the side. “I mean I didn’t want to brag. But yeah, certainly better than Molly over there.” He jutted his thumb at their tour guide. “Most of the good ones are from tour companies and then you get people like Molly who make it look legit online and trick people into taking day tours.”

“God, I was so bored,” Eddie huffed, shoving his hands into his pockets, “I felt jet lagged.”

Murray’s eyes instantly narrowed and cocked his head to the side and instantly everyone else tensed up. He took in their reactions and mimed zipping his mouth shut.

“I’ll tell you what,” he said, “if you’re still in town tomorrow, meet me here at 9pm and I’ll give you a proper tour.”

Chrissy licked her lips slowly. “Or what?”

“Huh?” He was confused for a moment before he smacked his forehead. “Oh! No, no. I’m not going to blackmail you. Holy shit. If people want to enjoy a vacation without all the publicity, good on them.” He looked Eddie up and down. “Looks good on you kid.”

Eddie was suddenly glad for the large sunglasses and beard because it hid the blush on his cheeks.

“No, I’m just saying,” Murray continued, “that if you wanted to experience a proper Jack the Ripper tour, I’m willing to do it. I don’t have a tour currently booked and beside I like her.” He pointed at Robin, who grinned back him.

The four them all shared glances at each other.

“I’m down,” Steve said with a shrug. “If you’re as good as you say you are and aren’t trying to actively ‘get back’ at Chrissy for taking your job, I know I’d be interested in seeing what Whitechapel has to offer after dark.”

“I like him too,” Murray said brightly, rubbing his hands together. “So what do the rest of you say?”

“Aye, aye, Captain!” Steve’s three menaces said together.

He just smiled fondly and shook his head.

~

Part 7 Part 8 Part 9

Tag List: CLOSED

1- @mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @zerokrox-blog

2- @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @val-from-lawrence

3- @goodolefashionedloverboi @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog @irregular-child @blondie1006

4- @yikes-a-bee @bookworm0690 @anne-bennett-cosplayer @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten

5- @genderless-spoon @y4r3luv @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt

6- @disrespectedgoatman @dawners @thespaceantwhowrites @tinyplanet95 @garden-of-gay

7- @iamthehybrid @croatoan-like-its-hot @papergrenade @cryptid-system @counting-dollars-counting-stars

8- @ravenfrog @w1ll0wtr33 @child-of-cthulhu @kultiras @dreamercec

9- @machete-inventory-manager @useless-nb-bisexual @stripey82 @dotdot-wierdlife @kal-ology

10- @sadisticaltarts @urkadop @chameleonhair @clockworkballerina

[i23kazu]

𝐘𝐈𝐍𝐆'𝐒 𝐁𝐄𝐁𝐈𝐄𝐒

these are all my ocs !!! do be nice :-) i've worked hard on them hehehe and i'm glad they get to come out of the basement now, please click on the picrews for better quality ! ! !! | post best viewed in light mode

𝓵𝓾𝓬𝓲𝓮𝓷

he/him | 24 y.o. | modern au genshin !!! | ✦✦✦✦

fontainian intern at tianquan co ( a government agency dealing with policies ) !

lucien is originally from the court of fontaine but studied in liyue for law (ex-classmates with yanfei heheeee) and is now working as an intern ( because the government companies in liyue won't let him full time :") )

he hopes to create a stronger support group for foreigners in liyue to connect them with job opportunities & resource broking heh – he and yanfei work together to try and find loopholes but liyue law is TIGHTT

wishes he could do more though ngl poor bebs

hydro polearm :3 !!!!

it was his flex for a while that he got the same element as the one from his homeland mwahaha

love language : words of affirmation

𝓴𝓪𝓲𝓵𝓪𝓱

she/her | 20 y.o. | slight modern au genshin !!! | ✦✦✦✦

LIYUEAN SOCIAL WORKER !!!! <333 she's my representation /cope

masc girl ever

works in liyue's youth sector for the ministry of social affairs !! covers up her tattoo when she goes to work (everyone always asks her why she's wearing a turtleneck in office)

has a wolfcut - mullet - thingy ?? ?? ?

super boisterious like this girl is loud. she's one of beidou's friends & is close to shuying ( my self-insert oc !!! )

yongjia's twin !!! younger than him by 4 mins

does boxing in her spare time

u'll find her organising peaceful protests when she can btw #advocate

pyro claymore !!!

love language : physical touch

𝔂𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓳𝓲𝓪

he/him | 20 y.o. | slight modern au genshin | ✦✦✦✦

communications manager for a supply company that works with the restaurants of liyue!

kailah's twin !!!! older by 4 minutes

the more reserved sibling – but certain people definitely bring out certain parts of himself

dyed his hair bc he went through the phase of not wanting to look like kailah ..

ask him out with drinks after work, why don't you?

this man has really good memory ... remembers the little things about everybody + analytical ass brain

the brain of the twins, while kailah is the heart

well liked by the aunties of liyue what can i say

geo sword !!!

love language : quality time

𝓼𝓱𝓾𝔂𝓲𝓷𝓰

she/ her | 18 y.o. | slight modern au genshin | ✦✦✦✦

studying social work!!! kailah is her mentor & is one of her good friends

she wants to work with little kids in the future!!

is baizhu’s daughter :3

absolutely adores the twins, they’re like the older siblings she never had

has tried to pick up crocheting. never again. her hands were shaking the entire time and she couldn’t do anything

loves giving gifts!!!

tbh shuying is my self insert soooo. if i continue any longer it’ll just be “hey isnt this just ying”

dendro polearm !!!!

love language : physical touch

𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓷

he/him | 25 y.o. | modern au genshin | ✦✦✦✦

a librarian at the house of daena :3

loves making friends honestly!! he's down if you're down.. except that some over-excited students take him a bit too seriously and get their hearts crushed

local sweetheart i'm ngl. good with old ladies and good with children. very sweet

family man! will introduce his family one day

heuheuehuue i love him so much,,, this sweetheart,,,

also his name was inspired from a typo btw. just saying

anemo catalyst !!!!

love language : acts of service

picrew one | picrew two

[cupidarchived]

Love Sea Thoughts

So, after watching episode 3, my brain is full. I have a lot of questions and a lot of thoughts. I'm going to try to organize them here. If this comes out a jumbled mess, please forgive me.

Let me preface by saying I love love love FortPeat. I think they are both talented in their own rights. I absolutely adore what they gave us with PrapaiSky. I adore them together, I think their chemistry is amazing.

As with any piece of anything, but especially media, there are going to be flaws and things we like and dislike. Differing opinions, views, feelings, experiences, and interpretations. But that's not what this is about at all. I do feel like the first two episodes, something felt off for me and I thought it was the pacing. I believe that's a small part of it. (I also believe that this might be another one of those shows where the plot is lacking, unless I have sorely missed something, and our actors are doing the heavy lifting.) I think a lot of the time we don't always get a grounded plot, more like a genre and a few tropes and that's kind of what we have to work with. Romance, 'hate'-to-love, and the couple just kind of getting together. Which is fine, but it can cause things to seem off in some areas.

Anyways, after watching ep 3, I feel that things are supposed to seem fast? It's supposed to be a simple, one-off, whirlwind vacation romance. They barely know each other. Tongrak disliked him a lot in the beginning, etc. But there is a time limit on what they have or it should be. (Judging by the preview for episode 4 and the fact that we have very many episodes left, we have way more drama and romance to come.) Tongrak seems traumatized by his home life/family dynamic. He spoke about his mother as if she was the last thing he wanted to be like and yet.. he shows some of the exact same traits, and also some opposing traits, that have made him all the more worse as a result. He buys Mahasamut, tries to control him with his money. And although he apologized, and Mahasmut seems fine with it, it has to hurt, having someone treat you like nothing or as if you're beneath them. Those were Tongrak's first instincts, he does apologize and show sympathy later on in the episode, but it says a lot about what he's probably experienced. Both of their familial stories sound intense and heartbreaking and it's really the first (or second, if we count the auntie's restaurant by the sea date) time we get to seem them sort of connect and get to know each other better, beyond just their physical attraction and sex.

Speed is important, I think, or at least something to take note of. Two weeks Tongrak spent there and Mahasamut is already asking him to stay (and Tongrak asking him to go back home with him, as per the preview). They seem to like each other, and yet, Mahasamut is ready to jump in full force, while Tongrak has stated multiple times that love is imaginary, not real. Our leads are not on the same page at all, which would probably give us more conflict down the line. But they also seem to not be able to stay away from one another. Which must be nerve-wracking for Tongrak, being that his mother was obsessed with his father who seemed to want nothing more to do with any of them other than her money (I felt those same vibes after the phone call with his sister, too. Dad must be lurking around after their money, but creeping on your granddaughter's school is an even more horrible way to do it). And Mahasamut has been tossed aside by his father, too. He's poor, working multiple odd jobs to make ends meet; he's been alone since he was 15, never daring to ask anyone for anything. He must be no stranger to being looked down on but he wants to be more for Tongrak clearly, but he's afraid he won't ever be enough, no matter how hard he tries.

I'm not sure where I was going with this but yeah. If I think of anything more, I'll come back and add it.

[multiverse-imagines]

A/N: Haha! I'm alive, I swear! Have this thing I made!

Bad Omen

Millions Knives x Reader (not romantic, but could in in sequels, idk yet)

(TriMax/98 adjacent, not biblically accurate)

I don't think I remember much from the destruction of July. I couldn't have been more than 3 of 4 at the time; That's hardly a time most people have memories of. I don't remember the face of my parents, what their voices sound like, though I still think I hear it on the wind of those chilly desert nights. That's not my point, though.

The earliest memory I have is of a man who I don't know, and have seen a few times since. He was a tall blond man, his face was so serene… yet there was a fury behind it. I can never remember where I was, or what I was doing, but I remember his lean figure that I spotted underneath his tan cloak, he had clothes unlike I'd ever seen before. White, skin tight, and the boots seemed to go all the way up from what I could see. My eyes were wide at the sheer power that seemed to flow off of him… and I watched as he walked away. That's the whole memory.

I'm not sure how I survived the blast that seemed to take over the entire town. I lost my right arm from the elbow down, and I still have knee problems from the brick wall that nearly crushed me. As I recovered in a nearby hospital, not really knowing how I got there, I couldn't help but make myself remember that man. That strange blond man… When the officers came by, asking about a blond man in a long coat, I said that I'd seen him. When they showed me a picture, though, the hair was all wrong, the face was all happy and goofy. That wasn't the guy I saw.

When I tried to explain to them that this wasn't the guy, they didn't take the word of a toddler. No surprise, honestly. They said this man was called Vash the Stampede, but I knew, in my heart, that that wasn't the name of the man I saw that day. The man who had full intentions of ending the city of July that day.

These days I can't help but keep an eye out for him. Vash or the mystery man. Why had The Stampede been in the same place as the other on that day? Did the man I saw have something to do with it? I felt it in my bones that he did… The man of my memories had gone to meet The Stampede… it's just part of the fury I distinctly remembered… His gaze both haunts me and motivates me. I feel like I have to find him, I thought, shortly after my ninth birthday.

When I was ten, I ran away from the orphanage. I had done all I could to stock up on a couple of canteens of water, plenty of snacks, and I even managed to swipe an old pocket knife from one of the people who worked there.

From there, I found a home wherever someone would take pity on me. My first home taught me how to shoot a gun, gifting me a small pistol, and he taught me the importance of only taking a life when it was absolutely necessary. After the man died trying to quell a bar fight, I moved on to the next town. I lived with a woman who’d lost her son within the past few years, but I quickly grew tired of her coddling, so I packed my bag and left before I turned 13. It was about that time, when I saw something incredible. I had been making a little money cleaning tables in a restaurant of some town when I saw him. The guy. The guy I had seen all those years ago. He hadn't aged a day, and still walked with that serene bloodlust.

If it weren't for the fact that my entire body was frozen in place, I would have run after him. It was so odd. I didn't fear him, I guess, but… something in his walk was telling my instincts that I should not be near him. Once he was out of sight, I fell over, taking the small pile of dishes I'd been carrying with me. It's okay I had been fired that day because… well that town didnt exist by the time my next shift would have started. I saw a second blond man who wore a long red coat, the one from the wanted posters, The Stampede. I had been on my way out of town when I saw him, and I had a strange feeling that with those two in the same vicinity, the town wouldn't last much longer.

Another few years passed, and most people didn't believe my story. A blond man that wasn't the Stampede, bringing death and destruction in his wake. Even with my lost arm, and birthplace of Lost July, no one believed a 15 year old kid. Even those I stayed with hardly believed me.

It had been about 25 years since my hometown was destroyed when I saw the man next. I was making my way through another town, doing some work for a local mover. What did he move? None of your business.

It took every ounce of energy I had to get myself to move my own feet as I felt the familiar paralysis of his presence. I ran in his direction, being careful to approach.

“H-Hey!” I said as nonthreateningly as I could, not wanting to spook, who I believed to be, the real typhoon. The calm before the storm, maybe. He stopped walking, and turned to look at me. The amount of disdain in his eyes, as if I was nothing more than a worm in his presence… It was terrifying.

“What do you want?” He asked curtly, but I could hear his annoyance.

“I… I r-remember you…” I managed to stammer out, “F-From July…” I did my best to explain, but he was… even scarier up close than from a distance. He glanced me over, noticing my prosthetic arm, and a ghost of a smile shadowed across his face, as if revisiting a memory, or an old friend.

“I see… a little pest like you has survived this long… astounding…” he whispered. A long pause stretched between us. Who was this man? Why was he here?

“Every time I see you… the town gets destroyed… will that be… the case this time?” I was still petrified to speak to him. His eyes burned into mine despite its cool color.

“Perhaps.” He spoke bluntly.

“And… Vash the Stampede… did he really destroy July? Or was it you?” I managed to ask the question that had been burning in my brain for a quarter of a century.

“It was him, indeed… he just…needed a little coaxing to destroy those pests…” his voice was like Bourbon, and yet the malice he held towards these pests, who I expected was humanity, was more than just an aftertaste. If he hated humanity this badly… was he human himself, or something else? Was the Humanoid Typhoon only Humanoid as well?

“I… I see…” my eyes lowered to the ground. I kind of wanted him to be the one who destroyed my home, casting me into this life of wandering the sands, and phantom pains of memories I no longer own, “Do you… cause him to destroy?” I asked, wondering if he was merely the eye of the storm I had also theorized, the bad omen of destruction that no one noticed pass by them before The Stampede left a city in rubble.

“I do whatever I can to make him see how useless it all is… so he can finally stop resisting me, and rule this planet alongside me, in an Eden not meant for likes of you.” He said curtly. I got the feeling he was becoming… impressed, with how much I was able to fathom speaking with him. I could tell he was getting bored with our conversation, and he was beginning to walk away without so much as a goodbye.

“Who is The Stampede to you?” I managed to blurt out without thinking. I’d never met The Stampede before, but I needed to know how the two coincide together.

“He's my brother.” The man continued walking, as if he had somewhere to be… as if the show was about to begin.

I booked it out of that town, trying my best not to run through the sand, as it would only slow my pace with its inconsistent traction.

The Stampede passed by, this time, a few people with him. A man in black with a large cross, and two ladies, one short one tall. I had to say something. Anything to tell him. That his brother was there. I wracked my brain as I saw them approach, and I finally managed to say something as I passed, still eager to get as far away from Augusta as I could.

“It's a bad day for a family reunion, Sir.” I glanced up to the orange spectacles of The Stampede. His gaze grew dark, as if my message had gotten through.

Once night had fallen, I saw a massive light in the sky, and I saw it hit the fifth Moon, casting a giant crater in it. The phantom pain in my arm told me all I needed to know. Augusta was no more.

[shroomerr]

Shroom, darling! It's me! In your inbox! I hope you're doing alright! I got questions about Anh!

1) Was she born in South Park, or did her family move in? What is her family life like?

2) You mentioned before that her and Craig are close, even touched on their dynamic a little bit! What do they do when they hang out? Do they remain close after high-school?

3) When she's an adult, what do you think she does for a living? Is she happy doing it?

4) I am absolutely in love with that picture you drew of her and Kyle where she's the witch! What school of magic does she master? Is that her TSOT outfit?

5) Have you made a Playlist for her yet? If so, gimbe 🤲 please!

Present day shroomer here: I'm so sorry this took so damn long you can tell exactly how long ago this was written because I talk about my assignments SJDLAHA WHATEVERR TIME IS A CONSTRUCT ANYWAY

AHH DUDEEE 💓💞💖 THANK YOU SM FOR THESE QUESTIONS!!! Other than these assignments making me low key tweak, I'm doing good esp now that there's only one week left (it is now past the semester oops)!! Having these asks is such a nice distraction from all of the monotonous work. It makes me so happy that you want to know more about Hanh!!

(also no youre not going crazy haha, I changed her name from Anh to Hanh. Her full name is Dao Hanh Tran! Tran being her last name)

Ok, onto the questions!!

Was the born in South Park, or did her family move in? What is her family life like?

I mention it briefly here, but Hanh and her family moved into South Park! Timeline wise, I imagine that this move happens before the town became gentrified and people from all over started moving in. They're originally from Michigan and moved to Colorado in order to be closer to family, and South Park seemed like the perfect place to call home (but mostly because her dad found a ridiculously cheap house listing that was too good to pass up). To which Hanh was sorely disappointed, seeing as they just went from one cold climate to an even colder climate, but this time with nothing but mountains and rednecks all around.

Her dad is a restaurant owner and her mom works at a nail salon that's owned by one of their relatives. I think it would be pretty funny if her dad owned the City Pho that we see in Post Covid and if he had a sort of rivalry with the Lu Kim from City Wok, lol. No siblings. When she's young, Hanh has a good relationship with her parents. No tragic deaths or backstories of the sort (yet). She kind of has the perfect life, despite their busy schedules: they bring her out to go a lot of places, spend a lot of time with her and are financially stable. When they first move to South Park, her parents would usually pick her up after school and bring her to the nail salon or at the restaurant either to do homework or to help out with the business (because you're not truly Asian until you participate in child labour! Whoo!).

It's only after integrating themselves into the town more and becoming familliar with the neighbors (aka the M4) that her parents trust her to stay at the boys' houses more, only after getting to know their parents well enough. This is mostly because their workplace is outside of South Park and their closing hours are relatively late, so they don't want to make her stay up too late with them.

As she grows up, her relationship with both of her parents becomes rocky. Around when she reaches Middle School, her parents start putting a lot of academic pressure and expectations on her, especially her mom. Their dad also starts becoming more distant, not only from working on expanding the restaurant chain but also because of family issues stemming from Hanh's grandma on their dad's side: a lot of back and forth trips from South Park to Denver, who takes care of grandma because no nursing home would take her, their grandma's dementia making her incredibly difficult to talk to, etc. It starts causing a lot stress for Hanh's dad and subsequently causes a lot of problems at home, where now both parents are constantly fighting (with very poor attempts at hiding it). Pair that with stubborn attitudes, insecurities and blame games? Yea, nothing constructive is coming out of this. Around this time Hanh tries to avoid being home as much as possible: spending time studying at the library, Kyle's house, hell even at Stan's farm if she can. If I ever get to explore this in a story or comic, this would be a major plot point of what I would want to explore, along with the other boys' problems and dynamics.

Maybe someday I'll figure out a happy ending for them...

You mentioned before that her and Craig are close, even touched on their dynamic a little bit! What do they do when they hang out? Do they remain close after high-school?

Oof that last one was kind of heavy, so let's talk about something more light-hearted! So I'd like to think that Hanh was close with Tweek before they became close with Craig. Speaking of Tweek!! I feel so bad that I completely forgot about him in the best friend ask, but he's arguably one of her closer friends. At the very least, closer than Wendy. But yea, since she became close to Craig thanks to Tweek, usually all three of them hang out together: either studying (very rarely and very begrudgingly: Tweek has barely any time for studying with working at the coffee shop and Craig just doesn't care), or usually their main activity is just going to Craig's place to watch Red Racer for the 100th time (shh don't tell Craig but at this point Hanh barely pays attention and she just draws the whole time, lol). They do this pre-Creek and even post-Creek, because both Craig and Tweek find it stupid to let their relationship affect their other friendships, so they still stay close to each other. They tried doing a group miniature model assembly thing with one of Tweek's sets, but he got too stressed out trying to tell them all of the instructions and seeing them mess up that they never tried it again, lol. If Tweek is busy at the coffee shop, both Craig and Hanh will go there to visit him and keep him company (though Hanh tries not to go with Craig too often just so that the two love birds can have some alone time 🤭). But for specifically Hanh and Craig, I think the two of them are the types of people to not want to do anything too extravagant when hanging out together because just the thought of it can be exhausting: so they stick to just hanging out, watching cartoons, maybe play video games (trying to beat each other in Smash, Mario Party, fighting games, etc.) and sometimes just silently doing their own thing but in the same room. I think after high school, they'd definitely talk a lot less since I imagine that Craig and Hanh would move out of South Park so that proximity aspect does affect their friendship. However, conversations always get picked up as if no time has passed. So, yes, they still remain close even after high school :)

When she's an adult, what do you think she does for a living? Is she happy doing it?

When she grows up she becomes an artist! Specifically an illustrator, so not the kind that makes paintings and puts them up in galleries, but the ones that work with clients, does commissions, work for certain companies, etc. I'm not too sure specifically what kind of illustrator she'd be, since there's so many different kinds. Maybe she'd work as a concept artist for a game company, or as a freelancer picking up odd job offers from different indie studios, or maybe she'd even try to establish her own brand and sell her own merchandise! If after high school she's still hesitant on choosing that path, she'd probably study psychology just to have a fallback plan, but the final goal will always be illustrator! And yea, it's definitely something she's happy doing.

I am absolutely in love with that picture you drew of her and Kyle where she's the witch! What school of magic does she master? Is that her TSOT outfit?

Ok I had to look this up because I am a DnD NOOB I only know like....... the very bare minimum.

So I didn't really have a specific school of magic in mind of Hanh when I made that witch design. I just kind of thought "haha funny witch" and rolled with it because I love witches HAHA so I think she's kind of got a bit from every school of magic? I'm so sorry if this isn't the answer you were looking for, I really didn't think too hard about it when I made that drawing haha

But I can tell you more about the other question! So no, that isn't her TSOT outfit. I guess you could say it's her in a Monster AU? Since we have Vampire Kyle that originated from the Pinkeye Halloween episode, I kind of thought "oh if she was celebrating Halloween with them, she'd have a witch costume for that episode. Oh, what if I turn that into some sort of Monster AU?" And since a lot of the inspiration was taken from that fic I mentioned in the original post, it just got the synapses sparking HAHA

Her TSOT version though.... ooo.... I've been working on it for a while, and I've still got the game to play but I think I've got a pretty concrete idea of how I want it to look? There's just some kinks I'm not 100% sure on, but I've mostly got the lore figured out.

Have you made a Playlist for her yet? If so, gimbe 🤲 please!

ok, so funny little story uh.......... im a "liked songs" kind of person and i NEVER make playlists. ive actually only started making playlists like 2 months ago (and only started using spotify like 2 weeks ago) when i got sick of scrolling through my liked songs and i didnt even have any playlists for my characters UNTIL THIS ASK LOLL

But!! I've learned since then!! So let me show you what I've got so far:

In terms of a playlist that she'd listen to, I cannot give you an answer to this because this girl will quite literally listen to everything lol (not me projecting but eh whatever this whole character is me projecting anyway). It'll go from Beabadoobee, to Mother Mother, to Sleep Token, to Tyler the Creator, to New Jeans, to JVB, to DPR Ian, to Nothing but Thieves, to Tame Impala, to the Beastie Boys, to Charli XCX— yea ok you get the picture. It's rare for her to like everything from a single artist and she has songs from every corner. She's a fan of pretty much every genre, it's just that she'll be picky about what songs she ends up enjoying. So yea, her music taste is my music taste!

As for the actual playlist I made for her: it's a mix of both songs that I think fit her vibe and songs that relate to her story. Good luck figuring out which is which, though, because I put both of them together HAHA

Some songs are not related to her story/do not fit her characterization at all (ex: i think there's a beabadoobee song that talks about one night stands? and that is nottt the kind of person she is). It's also because I haven't had the time to check all of the lyrics for each song to make sure they fit her vibe, so I just decided to lump the both of them together lol.

(Some day I'll make one that's specifically works for her story, but I'd have to actually write it out first. But for now, this works.)

[daydreamgoddess14]

Aspirations pt. 6 - The Finale!

Sydcarmy Masterlist

Aspirations previous chapters: CH 1 | CH 2 | CH 3 | CH 4 | CH 5

Full Masterlist

Here we go, it's the end 😥 I hope this chapter wraps everything up for you and you enjoy it. I've had an absolute ball writing this - loved every second! Thank you so much for reading, commenting, sending the sweetest messages - you guys are AMAZING! 😘

We switch it over to Carmy's POV and there is also some smut in this here chapter 🔥

I listened to a couple of songs in particular when I wrote this chapter - Hozier Take Me to Church just had me picturing Carmy worshiping Syd for like, the rest of his damn life, and Taylor Swift Dress - in particular the bridge:

There is an indentation in the shape of you

Made your mark on me, a golden tattoo

All of this silence and patience

Pining and anticipation

My hands are shaking from holding back from you

Anyway, enough talking. Fingers crossed I stuck the landing with this 9k (wtf?!) final chapter! 💜

~~~~~~~~

From the moment she stepped into his office and asked what he was doing in Chicago, he knew he was in trouble. She'd painstakingly won over every member of the crew one by one, called him out on his bullshit and helped build The Bear up from literal rubble. She'd stabbed Richie and then become one of his closest friends within the space of 6 months, she'd been a source of support for Nat, and she'd raised up Tina and Marcus in particular. In short, he had no idea how he'd gotten to this point of his life without her in his corner, but he knew now that he couldn't live without her. She was his constant, his north star, his fucking guiding light. He could acknowledge that to himself right away, but it took those final days before opening for him to realize that Syd was also pure love. Real, raw and honest. Not some dreamlike, fictional, glossed over version, but messy and sometimes very fucked up. The last thing he'd wanted to do was destroy it, so he'd taken what he'd thought was the safest path - to hold it at arm's length and protect it. Protect her. 

“I thought… I thought we could get over what you said in the walk-in. I thought I could be the one to show you that you can have the things you talked about. That damn restaurant doesn’t have to run you into the ground - you can have a life as well, you know?” He didn’t say anything, looked at his hands and tried to find the words to apologize.

“The restaurant is my life, Claire. It was never fair for me to expect you to put up with that. I promise I never intended to make you second best, you deserve so much fucking more than that. But I can’t be the one to give it to you. I’ve got too much shit going on and I can’t drag you into it.” 

“So you’re finally calling it?” She sighed. He nodded,

“I’m sorry.”

“Me too, Carmen. I don’t know what you think you deserve or what you're looking for… but for what it’s worth I do hope you find it. Don’t end up like Mikey.” He studied his hands, he could make out a faint crescent shape on his palm, in the soft pad under his thumb, from where Syd had gripped his hand with her own last night in the kitchen. Their kitchen. He had a faint bite mark on his shoulder as well, a small bruise. He wondered vaguely if she had similar marks.

“I’m sorry, Claire.”

He felt like a weight had been lifted. Not from breaking things off with Claire, although that was certainly the catalyst, but from the weight of expectation. He’d gone from the restaurant to take Syd home, where they’d shyly said goodbye. He’d then gone home and slept for all of three hours before deep cleaning his apartment. He was on Claire’s doorstep with coffee before 9am and in Natalie’s kitchen by 11am. 

“I broke it off with Claire.” He said quietly, taking the bottle of milk and checking the temperature on the back of his hand.

“I know.”

“Did she call you already?” Satisfied with the temperature, he leaned Mikey back and put the silicone teat to his mouth.

“No honey, I just know. Sit him up a little more, it might take him a minute to settle - breastfed babies don’t always take to bottles, so sometimes he needs a little bit of encouragement. That’s it, perfect.” She guided his elbow into a more comfortable position and watched with pride as Mikey fed. 

“Aren’t you going to ask why?”

“No. I want you to want to tell me.” She put her feet up next to his on the coffee table. “Y’know, it’s not the best time to learn shit - immediately after having a baby. Hormones, lack of sleep, you’re bleeding like a fucking murder victim… but they just kick you right out of that hospital and say ‘see ya later’ and you’re expected to know how to breastfeed them, how to burp them, change them, understand their every need… it’s fucked up. And no one mothers the mother, y’know?”

“You have a Pete.”

“I do have a Pete, and he is incredible. Gets right in there with the shit and the vomit.” She laughed, “It’s not Mikey’s job to teach me those things. It’s not his responsibility to be a ‘good’ baby, whatever the fuck that means. His job is just ‘baby’.”

“Where’re you going with this, Nat?”

“You don’t call me Sugar anymore.” She stated.

“No. I try not to.”

“Why?”

“I guess I don’t want you to feel put down. It’s not a nice nickname, it didn’t come from a nice place.”

“No. It was a way of belittling me. It was another way for mom to make me feel shitty about myself. And you recognizing that, Carmy? Tells me you’re on the right path. Sit him up and put your hand under his chin, now rub his back.” He did as he was told, waiting for her to continue. “I… I’ve realized a lot in the last few months. Pretty much since mom didn’t show up to Family Night?”

“Oh yeah?” Mikey let out a loud burp, making them both smile.

“I’m not responsible for her, I never was. We didn’t fail her as kids, she failed us as a mother, Carmen. She was emotionally manipulative, she didn’t always care for us properly and now as adults, we are fucked up because of her.” Carmy turned to look at Nat, expecting tears, but she looked at peace. “I have had to work really hard to unlearn some of the stuff I thought was right but really isn’t.” She turned her full body to address him properly, “Claire told me what you said when you were in the walk-in? I didn’t get it word for word, but something about not needing to give or receive amusement or enjoyment?” Mikey balled his little fists as he finished the bottle, Carmy sat him back up for another burp under Nat’s watchful eye. She nodded as he put his hand under the baby’s chin to help him.

“Yeah, I said some pretty dark shit.”

“It’s not true. You do need to receive those things - that’s what makes a life, Carmy. And just because you feel like you didn’t deserve to get those things from Claire, or want to give them to her, doesn’t mean you don’t already provide them unintentionally. You do it for everyone who works for us, our friends. For Richie, for Syd, for Mikey… I think you need to think about the difference between doing something intentionally and unintentionally. They’re not a party piece or a grand gesture. They’re supposed to be as natural as breathing. So when you buy Richie a pack of smokes cos you know he’s about to run out, when you give Tina a random night off just cos she looks a bit tired?”

“That’s just… it’s -”

“It’s love, Carmy. It’s love. And if you found it hard with Claire, if it didn’t come easily, then it’s not because you’re a disgustingly horrible human being! It’s simply because you don’t love her. You can’t force that feeling. It’ll destroy you.” He felt her eyes on him, watching him as he put the baby on his legs so he could sit up and face them both. “I love you, Carmy. You have got to stop being your own worst enemy and actually let us love you.” Mikey gurgled and held up a little fist, “or this kid is gonna kick your ass.” She teased, Mikey giggled.

“You’re right.”

“I know I am. You gonna stay for lunch?” She asked, getting up and clearing their coffee cups.

“Yeah. Yo, Nat?” She turned back to look at him, “I love you too.”

*

On Monday, with Nat’s words still ringing in his ear, Carmy made his way through the front of the restaurant and locked the door behind him. He could see through the window to the kitchen immediately, Syd was at one of the stations with her back to the window, swaying on the spot and… singing?

“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy - no, no Chef, that’s Auntie Syd’s knife and your mama would fucking kill me if you touch it. I’ll teach you when you’re a little older - when skies are gray. You’ll never know, dear, how much I love you. Please don’t take - please don’t take the broccoli, you are just like your Uncle Carmy, do you know that? - Please don’t take my sunshine away.” She turned and he could see that she had Mikey in a baby carrier strapped to her chest and facing outwards, “You’re too cute. Oh! Happy smile! You like being called a cutie, huh? Well, it won’t last forever so take it while you can buddy. Although, Jesus kid, if you keep those baby blues then we’re all doomed. Trust me, I was totally fucking gone the day I stepped into this place.” He watched her wipe down where she’d been chopping vegetables and put the knife away. She moved out of sight but came back with a small cup of flour which she sprinkled onto the work surface, “there you go baby Bear, shall we draw in the flour? Shall we make a chef outta you when you're older? Just like Uncle Carmy and Uncle Mikey. That’s right! You like Uncle Carmy, huh? Me too, Chef, high five!” The baby babbled and waved his hands wildly in the flour, covering them both in fine powder, “I didn’t know Uncle Mikey, but I promise mama and Uncle Carmy will tell you all about him. Hey, Chef, we don’t put our hands in our mouth when we’re working, ok? It’s gross. For other people, I mean.” She pulled a towel from her apron and wiped his hands and mouth. Her voice dropped a little and she spoke so quietly he couldn’t hear her for a few minutes, but he stayed near the door, watching her brush flour out of Mikey’s curls and clearing up their mess. “... and when you’re 16 you can come and work here with me and Uncle Carmy and we’ll teach you everything. You’ll get so good when he teaches you. And then when you’re bigger you can go with Marcus to wherever Luca is and learn pastry.” He cried out a little, “I know, I know. I feel the same about pastry, Chef, but you gotta learn the whole thing if you’re gonna be as good as Uncle Carm, right? Shall we get you one of those bullshit fuckin’ stars? Yeah? Baby Berzatto, the youngest Michelin star holder in the whole fuckin’ world?” She twirled on the spot as he giggled. He felt his breath catch in his throat as he watched her moving around the kitchen, getting ingredients out and putting them in the correct sections, checking off the list on what needed to be done and when. So busy, and yet taking time with his nephew with such care and love. He was blown away initially, but instantly remembered what he’d said to her under the table at Family night, 

“You love taking care of people.” He pushed through the swing door and she looked up with a smile, 

“Hey Mikey, look! Uncle Carm’s here.” She said brightly, ignoring his statement. Mikey kicked his legs in free air from his carrier and waved his chubby arms around. “Is it me or does he, like, age so much so quickly?”

“He rolled over yesterday,” Carmy told her with a smile,

“Fuck off, no way?!”

“For real. And uhh, I think I just unlocked a new favorite kitchen memory.” She looked up sharply, a shy smile breaking out across her face.

“Hmm. Well at least this one is family friendly.” She retorted.

“Ahh yeah. Think I’ll keep the other one quiet. Where’s Nat?”

“Just running a couple of errands. I said I’d watch Mikey so she could get them done quicker. I was here early.”

“Trouble sleeping?”

“Something like that.”

“Heard. Can we talk later?”

“Sure. We’ll find some time.”

“Ok, good. Can I take him, is that ok?”

“God, please do, he’s heavy!” She put a hand on Mikey’s belly and unclipped one of the straps so that Carmy could lift him up and out of the carrier, then she unclipped the whole thing and went to hang it up in the office.

“So you’re gonna coach him to a star, huh?”

“How much did you hear?” She asked warily. He waved a hand, brushing off her embarrassment,

“Just the star.”

“Good. I’m taking advantage of being able to talk shit about you while he doesn’t understand.” She teased. He didn’t call her out on the lie. Nat came back and the others started to arrive. Mikey was happily passed around various sections all morning while Nat worked. Carmy took him through to the office just as she was packing her bag,

“Ready to take him back?”

“For sure, I’ve missed him! Hi sweetheart - have you had fun with your kitchen family out there?!” She cooed. “You ok, how’re you feeling today?” She asked Carmy.

“Yeah, I’m good. Been thinking about everything you said yesterday. I’m gonna just… soak this in a little, I guess?” He gestured out to the kitchen where there was happy chatter. Tina was telling a dirty joke, and as the punchline landed, he heard Syd and Richie’s roars of laughter.

“I think that’s a very good idea. Be with the ones you love, Carm and for fucksake let us love you back.”

“Yes, Chef.” He smiled.

“It’s not a cure to being a better person, but it’s a start.”

“Yeah, you’re right. I’m… I’m really… it’s good to get back to this, right?” He pointed between them both,

“Getting along? Yeah, Carm. It’s good.” She put the baby into the carseat and stood to hug him tightly. “I love you.” She whispered.

*

“It’s fucking freezing out here.” Syd complained, he could see her pulling her jacket tighter around her, trying to shrink into it further. Underneath, she’d pulled on his sweater - yet again - and Richie’s gloves which were miles too big for her hands.

“Next time, I’ll find somewhere warm for us to talk?” He teased,

“That’d be ideal, thanks. So what’s up?”

“Just thought we should… y’know, check in?”

“After Saturday night?”

“Yeah. You ok?”

“Well, it’s a little weird. And totally fucked up. But I don’t want to go back to barely speaking to you. Like, I’ll put up with this insane awkwardness just so I don’t have to avoid you.”

“I hated when you avoided me.”

“Me too.” She said, studying the broken glass shards mingling with the concrete on the ground.

“I broke up with Claire.” She didn’t look up, but he saw her eyes widen a little.

“Oh. How’d it go?”

“About as well as you’d expect.”

“Yeah.” She breathed, puffs of air visible. They fell silent again. 

“And I had a really good talk with Nat. About, like, fuckin’ parental trauma and all that shit and how it effects us as we get older? It’s fucked up.”

“It is. I’ve talked to her about it before as well.” He looked up, surprised, “You weren’t talking to her. Not really. Or not listening, at least. She just wanted to feel heard.” He nodded, 

“I just… I want you to know that I want to be a better person. I know I’ve said it a million fucking times, I was always trying to do it for someone else though? I thought I should be doing it for you or Nat, but I should be doing it for myself.”

“You can’t be better for us if you’re not doing it for yourself. My dad’s sister always said you can’t pour from an empty cup.” She mused. 

“How do you do it?” He asked, curiously.

“I listen to my heart. Figure out what it needs. I watch movies with my dad, I laugh with my friends in there,” she pointed into the restaurant, “I cook for them. I cook for you or Nat or my dad. I hang out with Mikey. I watch you cook. I let my family look after me and love me when I need it. Like you said, I love taking care of people, but it’s nice to have it returned.”

“You’re too fuckin’ smart for this place.”

“Fuck off,” she pushed his shoulder, 

"You watch me cook?"

"Yeah, I do. It's… therapeutic. Oh, and if you think that just because you broke up with Claire I’m gonna jump -”

“I would never expect that. Never. Let’s just… get back to where we were and then see what happens?” He suggested, taking her hand. She nodded,

“Great idea, Chef.” He kissed her palm and listened to Tina singing from the kitchen.

*

Carmy could tell Richie was about to hit the roof. He bounced on his heels and fidgeted for the last hour of service but everytime someone asked, he’d give them the brush off. 

“Chef, could you tell Richie to take a step back please?” Syd sighed, rolling her eyes at Richie who was standing so closely behind her she could hardly use her knife. Carmy laughed,

“C’mon cousin, back it up. Whatever it is, why don’t you just tell us?”

“Can’t, we need to wait til we’re closed.” 

“Well then get the fuck outta our kitchen and encourage people to finish up?” Carmy smiled at Syd’s use of our kitchen.

“Fine, fine but you guys wait. You just fuckin’ wait.” 

“Can I have another 3 duck and 2 sirloin please?”

“Yes, Chef.” The crew chimed back to him. Tina brought the plum sauce over for him to try,

“Needs something, Syd, check this?” He handed her a spoon,

“Half a teaspoon of the winter spice mix.”

“Exactly. Thank you. Tina, you ok with that, Chef?”

“Sure thing Jeff.”

“Let it incorporate for another five minutes, we’ve got time.”

“Make it eight minutes, Chef? My dauphinoise are fucked.” Syd asked, shooting her potatoes a look of disdain.

“Heard Chef. Eight minutes, Chefs.” He looked over at Syd, “Yo, you good?”

“Yeah, too much garlic.”

“No such thing!” At least three people replied, including Carmy.

“I’ll save it for you then, Chef.” She smiled at him over the pass. Richie bounced back and forth with plates and information until he was finally able to lock the front door. He burst back into the kitchen as Syd and Carmy were sharing the extra garlicky dauphinoise.

“Here we go.” Carmy murmured, receiving an elbow to the ribs.

“What you got for us Richie?” She asked, pointedly ignoring Carmy.

“Would you like to hear a review?”

“From?”

“A Mrs Beata Jerimovich, my wonderful grandmother -” Carmy threw a towel at his head, 

“Fuckin’ dipshit.”

“Kidding, kidding. It’s only the motherfuckin’ Food and Beverage Magazine!” There were whoops and cheers all round, but next to him, he felt Syd tremble. He discreetly brushed her little finger with his own and heard her sigh softly. “Ahem!” Richie cleared his throat, “The Bear, Chicago…” he held them in suspense, Marcus beat a drumroll on the counter while Tina bellowed at Richie,

“Richie, fuckin’ tell us, pendejo!”

“Five. Fuckin’. Stars. Chefs!” They were euphoric. Manny and Angel banged pots together, Tina wrapped her arms around Syd and Richie hugged Carmy. As soon as he saw Tina let go of her, he first reached out for the shorter woman who patted his cheek, and then for Syd. He counted down from 10 in his head so as not to hold onto her for too long. He made every second count. His senses clambered to be reminded of the softness of her skin, the fullness of her lips, how perfectly her body fit against his. He felt rather than heard the faintest moan drag from her body as his lips grazed her earlobe, and then he reluctantly let her go. “If you’ll allow me to read some of it to you, Chefs?” Carmy leaned back on the counter and felt Syd do the same next to him, innocently close to those around them but the smallest amount closer than she had been standing before. He let his arm rest against hers and let their knees knock gently together as Richie spoke. “I had the wonderful experience of dining at The Bear around a month ago, during the first week of their festive menu. It was a Saturday night and they had been fully booked for months… Hey, wasn’t that the weekend of bad dates? Fish guy is still salty that he can’t get a date around here anymore.” Carmy locked eyes with Syd, she bit her lip to hide her small smile. 

“Good, I’m sure he’s working on a wonderful relationship with his right hand.” She pointed out to sniggers.

“Hey, I object to that.”

“Gross Richie, carry on please?”

“Ok, ok. I tried the spiced pumpkin soup with plaice, the scallop ceviche, the duck in plum sauce and blah blah blah, those are the new dishes, looks like they tried everything though, man. Ok, here we go, here we go - the food was nothing short of miraculous. Every element and ingredient held its own, the service was personal and impeccable, the atmosphere was joyous.” He paused for long enough for the squeals of delight to die down, struggling to be heard, “Exec Chef, Carmen Berzatto - formerly of Noma and The French Laundry - and his partner, CDC Sydney Adamu, have created close to perfection. Whatever their secret is, may they hold onto it. I am already booked back for another visit, my only disappointment is that I have to wait 6 months for it! If they aren’t already looking at this spectacular place for recognition in March, the Michelin guide needs to get it on their list very quickly. A star certainly cannot be too far out of reach.” Richie’s voice quivered with emotion, “It goes on and on… that’s us, man. This is talkin’ about us.” He said, holding the magazine aloft. “I fuckin’ love you guys.” Syd pushed herself off the counter and into his arms. He leaned down to rest his forehead against hers, “you did that, Chef. You fuckin’ did that.” He said to her, “fuckin’ love you Syd.” There was another mass movement of people clinging to each other. Carmy noticed Syd slip into the walk-in once Richie had let her go. He got caught up with Ebra and Marcus before he could get there,

“You good, Chef?” She was leaning against the back wall with her head in her hands, she nodded without moving them, “in front.” He whispered once he was standing directly in front of her, not wanting to startle her. She threw her arms around his neck, he could feel her tears in the neckline of his jacket and wrapped his arms around her tightly. 

“Thank you.” She said, her warm breath against his collar. He laughed,

“No, this is all you, baby. All you.” She pulled away from him, allowing him space which he used to wipe the tears from her cheeks. “C’mon, Tina’s looking for you.” He told her, knowing there were too many eyes outside for them to be alone. She went for the door handle but it was pulled from her reach and Richie joined them,

“I’m only in here so that when you both leave, it doesn’t look like you’ve been makin’ out in here, ok?”

“Richie, I came in here so I didn’t cry in front of everyone.” Syd told him, giving him a gentle shove.

“Seriously? Fuck me, I wish I’d been right first time. Syd, honey, I bawled my eyes out - they’re all cryin’ out there. No one cares!”

“Fuck, I’m not tellin’ em when we get Syd’s star. That’s on you, cuz.” Carmy pointed to Richie. 

“Can we stop talking about stars? And stop calling it mine?  I’m gonna hurl.”

“No, no hurling, we’re goin’ out. Tina wants shots and karaoke.”

“Oh fuck no. No shots.” Syd pushed between them to get out of the walk-in.

“It’s a yes to karaoke though, right?” Richie called out, following her. Clean down had never been so fast or willingly taken on, Manny turned up the radio and the atmosphere was electric. Anyone crossing the room was hindered by hugs along the way and no one seemed to want to let go of each other. Carmy looked out at the crew and for what felt like the first time in forever, didn’t mask his smile or hide his emotions. The door to the office was partially closed and he couldn’t see Syd so he knocked softly. He heard his sister’s voice via Facetime.

“I swear to god Syd, this is so exciting! Michelin are gonna come knocking. I can tell. They might have already been!”

“I hope they didn’t come before November, it’s gonna be that plum sauce that clinches it.” She smiled at Carmy as he came in and joined her on the screen, 

“Carmy! I’m so proud, I wish I could be there to celebrate with you all.”

“It’s just a review, Nat.”

“But it’s an incredible review, and that magazine is, like, insane! It’s a precursor to more, trust me.” He stood close to Syd, leaning down over her shoulder so they could both fit into the video call, his cheek almost pressed against hers. "This right here,” she held up Mikey, “100% of The Bear right in this call! Ok, you guys go have fun. I am so ridiculously proud of you both and I love you both so much.”

“Love you sis, see you later.” Syd smiled, Nat’s eyebrows raised a little as Carmy turned to look at her.

“Bye guys.” She hung up the call with a smile. 

“Sorry, I just thought she’d want to know and I knew they’d never let you escape. I’m amazed Tina has let you go.”

“Yeah, me too. She’s stronger than she looks.”

“Right?! It’s crazy! Are we done out there?” She stood from the desk,

“Yeah, we’re heading out now.”

“Ok, I’m on my way then.” She cocked her head towards the door, “C’mon. I suspect the first round is gonna be on us.”

“Did you just call Nat, sis?”

“Yeah,” she shook her head, “never underestimate the strength of female friendships, Carm.” She told him sagely, leaving him alone in the office.

*

The bar was hot and crowded, standard for a Saturday night. The karaoke was predictably awful, and Richie was wandering between the three booths they'd managed to grab trying to get people to sign up and sing. Carmy was grateful for the spare jeans and t-shirt he kept in his locker, and it turned out nearly everyone else kept some kind of 'to go' bag either at work or with them, ready for those magical evenings where they finished early, had a date after work or got 5 star reviews in one of the biggest hospitality industry magazines in the world. He was pinned into his booth by Ebra on one side and Neil on the other, both talking over the table to each other and leaving him stuck. Tina was talking Marcus into a duet and it looked like Gary, Manny and Angel were playing some obscure drinking game. Richie had an arm slung over Syd’s shoulder and pointed to the stage with his beer. The combination of humor and terror on her face as she tried to decline his offer of a song was currently making his night. He watched her pinch Richie's stomach and move out of his grip, laughing at him as she hopped into the seat next to Neil to get away. 

"Whatcha singin', CDC Sydney?" Fak asked.

"I'm not Fak, but Rich is desperate for a partner on Cruel Summer if you think you can handle it?"

"I can do that!" He exclaimed, "Syd, I can nail that bridge, I fuckin' hand to God… I'm gonna do it!" She moved to let him out and raised her beer to Richie in support of his new karaoke partner. He was about to take advantage of Syd sitting next to him when Ebra pulled him into a far-fetched story he'd probably heard a million times before. He stuck around long enough to listen to Tina and Marcus and Richie and Fak before leaving enough cash for another round and saying his goodbyes. He sat in the car for 10 minutes, phone in his hand, weighing up the pros and cons of texting Syd. He decided against it and put the car into gear, before a tap at the passenger side window stopped him. 

"You ok? I thought you left ages ago?" Syd asked with concern. 

"Uhh yeah, I was uhh… y’know what, jump in." She did and immediately put her hands to the air vents already pushing warm air through the car. 

"So, you were what?"

"Trying to decide whether to send you a message and see if you want to cook tomorrow." 

"I'd love to," she nodded, "at the restaurant?"

"Or my place? You could always…"

"Take the couch?"

"Yeah. Or I could." She glanced down at her phone, seemingly weighing up her own pros and cons. 

"OK, let's go." He made his way through the dark streets, finding a space a few meters from the main door of his building. He led the way up and unlocked the door, letting her in first so he could lock up behind her.

"You sure you wanna stay?"

"I'm sure. Yo, it looks great in here, Carm?"

"Thanks. I thought I should start making it feel a bit more like home, y'know? Cleared up, no more denim in the oven,"

"For real?" She asked, opening the door to check, "Fuck me, Carmy that's… that's good." He felt the blush bloom in his cheeks. Since he'd decided to deep clean the place over a month ago, the night before he ended things with Claire, he'd slowly been emptying boxes, hanging pictures and sorting through his cookbooks. "Dude, is that a fucking plant?" She asked, looking to the kitchen window.

"It's been alive for a whole month." Not just alive, it had been half dead when he'd brought it, so he'd actually brought it back from the brink.

"A better man, huh?'

"Trying." He offered with a shy shrug. "Beer?" 

"Please. Netflix?" She asked, loading up the cooking shows, 

"Yeah, there's one I haven't seen yet, Nadiya?"

"Oh, she's so great! You'll love it." She put the first episode on and clinked bottles with him as he sat next to her. "I need to watch Salt Fat Acid Heat." She muttered, he watched her add the note to her phone before crossing her legs and focusing on the screen. It didn't take long before he was reaching out for his sketchpad and looking around for a pen. She pulled one from the knot of her bun and handed it over without looking. 

"Rhubarb glaze." He stated. She moved to kneel next to him so she could look at his drawing. Her hand came to rest on his shoulder to keep herself from falling forwards. 

"In the spring? Change up the duck dish and serve it with something super fresh?" 

"Like a slaw." He suggested, she nodded slowly,

"Like a slaw." She didn't look away from the sketch, "Fuck. You really are so fucking good at this Carm." She said, barely above a whisper. 

"You make me better at it." He countered. She absentmindedly rubbed the cotton of his t-shirt between her thumb and index finger. He hesitated before reaching out to cup her cheek and turn her face towards his. She leaned into his palm. He watched her eyes close, a trembling breath on her lips as he leaned in to kiss her briefly. Her hand on his shoulder gave her some leverage to turn and straddle his lap. She stayed further back though, not bringing their bodies flush. She sat back on his knees, 

"I don't want to do this if -"

"You're not ready?" He finished.

"Me? I meant you. You've been doing so much better this last month. I don't want to fuck that up for you?"

"You couldn't."

"So you… we could…?"

"We could just take things easy and see what happens? Have some,"

"Fun? We could both stand to have some fun."

"Exactly. No pressure." His hands rested lightly on the top of her thighs. 

"No pressure." She repeated, sliding deeper into his lap until their chests were pressed together. He waited for her nod of agreement before kissing her again. She hummed with approval, her head tilting to slot against him perfectly. His tongue swept across her lower lip, demanding access which she willingly gave. His hands moved to squeeze her hips, and she let out a needy whimper he knew he’d spend the rest of the night trying to get from her again. He bit her lip lightly as she ground down against him. “Bed this time.” She mumbled against his neck, “please Carmy, now.” He could feel the reluctance radiate off her as she considered letting go of him long enough to stand so they could move. He stood quickly with her in his arms, making her squeal in surprise. They made it the handful of steps to his bedroom where he sat her on the edge of the bed and knelt between her knees. She was bathed in the streetlight from the window, but it wasn’t enough so he clicked on a small faint lamp at the bedside. He tugged the hem of her top up over her head and she lay back to unbutton her jeans and lift her hips to slide them off, he brushed her hands away and pulled the tight denim down her legs. He rose to climb over her on the bed and she moved further back into the center, reaching for his t-shirt. He unclipped her bra and pulled it off before covering her body with his own pressing kisses along her collarbone. He could feel her heart racing against his chest as he chased each breathy moan that fell from her lips. He kissed a hot path down her body, cataloging every noise she made. He took his time, savoring the way she responded to his touch,

“You’re so beautiful,” he marveled, grateful at last to have her where he could actually see her. He paused with his chin on her stomach to look up at her. She’d covered her face with one hand, suddenly bashful. He reached out to link their fingers, gently encouraging her to look at him, “this ok?” He felt her body shudder as her breath hitched, she nodded. “Need to hear you say it, baby.”

“Fuck you,” she huffed out a tiny laugh, “please, I want this. I want you.” 

“I need to taste you, Syd, please?” He hooked his fingers into the waistband of her underwear and slid them down her thighs. He nudged her knees further apart and looked back up at her, holding eye contact as he swept his tongue into her folds and circled her clit. Her back arched off the bed and he used his free hand to hold her still. It was akin to worship, every touch designed to bring her closer to the edge. He’d spent years learning the art of consistency and this was no different, he filed away every sigh, every grip of the sheets and every moan of his name. She practically wailed his name as she came, and he watched her come down, boneless from her first orgasm. He let her think he was done before he went back for more. By the time she was pulling him back up the bed to her, the need to have his skin against hers was sinful.

“Jesus fuck, Carmy,” she panted, reaching out to kiss him. He was painfully hard and he knew she could feel him against her. She tried to undo his jeans with shaking hands, giving up with a frustrated groan. He took over and pushed the denim off, giving her the opportunity to push him onto his back. “Condom?” She whispered, still breathless. She reached past him to the drawers by his bedside to grab one as he bit the underside of her breast. He took the condom from her and ripped it open, rolled her onto her back once more and pushed into her in long, slow strokes, his whole body weighted against hers. The closeness was both intense and intimate, and when he kissed her it felt so much like a promise it was almost overwhelming. He held her tightly, pressing her into the mattress as he fucked into her deliriously slowly, lewd noises filling the air. Her legs wrapped around him, holding him against her. He felt her walls flutter around him, she sighed his name as she came again,

“F-fuck, Syd,” he rasped, shuddering against her as he came. He moved just far enough off her so that he didn’t crush her as his arms gave out, his chest heaving.

“Oof,” she huffed as his weight pinned her to the bed. She ran her fingers through his hair and down his back as far as she could reach before gliding back up again. 

“Fuck, that was… wow.” His breath tickled her neck as he spoke,

“Yeah.”

“Should move.”

“Yeah, no, I can’t do that.” He mumbled an apology and moved off her completely, tying off the condom and throwing it to the bathroom. He pulled her to him as he got back into bed, asleep almost instantly.

He woke alone to the light streaming in from the windows, noting that their discarded clothes had been picked up and a damp towel hanging over the bathroom door. He pulled on boxers and a clean t-shirt and went through to find their beer bottles disposed of and the TV off. He vaguely recalled waking briefly in the night to the quiet sounds of a cooking show, but he’d been so warm and relaxed that he didn’t think to move and turn it off. Not that he’d have been able to with Syd buried into his side. He followed the sounds in the kitchen where she had her back to him, looking after whatever she was cooking. 

“Hey, mornin’” He said, voice still heavy with sleep. She turned with a shy smile, wearing his t-shirt from the previous night and little else.

“Hi, did I wake you?”

“No, no way. You making breakfast?”

“Thought I’d bring it to you in bed, but -”

“I can go back,” he joked. She turned back to the pan and cracked four eggs into it. He moved to stand behind her, hands on her hips and his head in the crook of her neck. “Shakshuka?” 

“Yeah. Imagine my surprise when I opened your fridge to find it fully stocked.” She laughed.

“Told ya, I’m trying.”

“I legit spent twenty minutes trying to decide what to make you.” She turned down the heat on the pan and twisted in his arms. “Did you sleep ok?” 

“Yeah, I think I might have figured out the secret.”

“To sleep?” He nodded, kissing along her jawline.

“You.” 

“Pfft, shut the fuck up.” He pulled them backwards so he could sit at one of the dining chairs, bringing her down into his lap with her legs either side of his. “Hmm don’t get any ideas, I don’t think this chair will survive.” It creaked under them as if in response as she squirmed in his lap.

“How long on breakfast?” He asked pulling the t-shirt over her head,

“Long enough.” She confirmed, reaching out to turn the stovetop off completely.

*

“Baby, you look all flushed, you good?” He heard Tina ask Syd as she finished off the canapes.

“Yeah T, just warm.”

“You look beautiful, don’t get anything down your dress!” She warned, Syd had tugged an apron over her dress but had left it untied. As she moved along the counter piping blinis with sour cream, the thigh split opened further. He turned away as Tina looked at him with a curious eye,

“I’m gonna unlock, Chef?” He asked,

“Ok, sure. I think we’re good.” She turned to the servers with a nod and took the apron off, throwing the piping bag into the sink. 

“Let’s party!” Tina beamed, leaving Syd to turn off the lights and join her in the restaurant.

Syd’s dad took another canape as the tray passed by them, Carmy shook his head as the server offered the tray to him as well. 

“These are incredible.” Her dad beamed,

“Aren’t they? She was working on them until about a minute before we opened the doors.”

“Sounds like Sydney.” He chuckled, “I’m sorry I didn’t get to meet you on Family night. It was a very special night.”

“Yes Sir, it was. I had some things to take care of in the kitchen though, so I didn’t spend any time out here. I'm sorry I missed you, it's good to meet you at last.”

“I guess that’s the trouble when you’re the one in charge, you don’t get to enjoy the spoils.”

“Fortunately I’ve got everything I need back there.” Carmy replied with a smile. They both watched Syd in a beautiful one-shoulder copper coloured dress as she crossed the room to speak to Tina’s family. She studiously avoided eye contact with either of them and instead got swept up with talking to Tina’s elderly mother. She dropped down onto her haunches to bring herself below eye level to the woman, and held her hands. He took in her taut calf muscles in her heels and the curve of her thigh as the dress pulled tightly. He was flooded with the memory of taking it off her earlier in the evening as she was trying to get ready, her hands swatting him away before pulling him back in. The reason they were late and the reason she was still in the kitchen as they opened. 

“She’s really something. I wish her mama could have seen her.”

“She is. You must be very proud.”

“I am. I hope you’re good to her?”

“I’m sorry?”

“She tells me she’s staying with friends two, three - sometimes even four nights a week. You and I both know that her closest friends are in this room right now, and I don’t think she’s singing lullabies to your nephew four nights a week.” He chuckled as the blush crept across Carmy’s face. “I may be an old man, but I’m not blind.” He put a hand on Carmy’s arm, “thank you for believing in her.”

Her laugh sounded around the room as she pushed back up to standing and turned to talk to Pete who’d lightly tapped her arm. She nodded at whatever he’d said and made her way back past them towards the kitchen. Her dad managed to catch her hand just before she stepped out of reach,

“Honey, Carmen and I were just talking about everything you’ve both achieved here. It’s tremendous.”

“Thanks Dad, I’ve just got to see Richie about something. Can I come back to you in a few minutes?”

“Take your time sweetheart. I’ll be right here.” He smiled, Marcus coming over to talk. Carmy managed to catch her eye briefly with a small smile. She made her way to Richie who was holding court near the center of the room. Christmas songs filled the air and he was once again forced to admit that Nat had been right - a less formal Christmas party for family and friends had been the right way to go. She took Richie’s arm, but he grabbed her hand instead and spun her around, twirling her under his arm and pulling her into some empty space to dance. She tried to pull away, laughing, but let him spin her a couple of times and dip her before she could escape. With Syd’s dad in deep discussion with Marcus, Carmy went through to the kitchen to check what was left in the walk-in. The heavy door swung partially closed behind him and he heard the tap of Syd’s heels as she came through the swing doors not far behind him. He went to call out to her, but Nat’s voice spoke up.

“You can’t escape out here, Syd!” “I just need a minute, my feet are killing me. C’mon, gimme a break.” He could almost hear rather than see Nat roll her eyes.

“Fine, you can hold Mikey while I go to the bathroom before I feed him." Nat rushed past the walk-in to the staff bathroom. 

“What’s the time baby Bear? How long til I can be in Uncle Carm’s bed again, huh?” She muttered, bouncing the increasingly hungry baby. “Are you ready for bed too? Party animal.”

“I thought about a sitter but then I figured, it’s family night?” Nat said, coming back in and taking Mikey. “Oh, he should be here for sure.”

“You ok?” He heard Nat ask, softly. "You've barely stopped all night?" He could hear her settle Mikey and the baby fell silent.

“Yeah. If I tell you something can you promise not to lose your shit?”

“I can try?”

“So Carmy and I have been… hanging out. And it’s good, and I don’t want to push him too fast too soon on anything,”

“Wait, hanging out somewhere other than here?”

“Yeah. Like, his apartment… specifically.” Syd wrung her hand together, presumably waiting for Nat to catch up.

“Ok, so what’s new about that? Oh. Oh! Fuck! You guys are hanging out hanging out?”

“There we go. Yep, that’s what’s been happening.”

“Since when?!”

“About a month ago? Not long. Long enough?”

“So what’s the problem?”

“There isn’t one, I guess? I just… What if it all goes horribly wrong? What if this ruins everything? For all of us, I mean. It could ruin both of our careers, could kill this place? Everyone I love is in that room -” she paused, “I don’t want to push him, but I also kind of want to know how he sees all of this… ending up?”

“Syd, relax. I guarantee if you look into that room right now, he’ll be the happiest you’ve ever seen him,” Carmy frowned, hoping they didn’t actually look for him, “that’s because of this place. Because of you, honey.” 

“I guess…”

“I know. The good thing about doing this together, is that you’re in this together. Don’t stress, whatever happens happens. I mean, look at you! You’re the CDC of one of the hottest new restaurants, it’s your Christmas party and yet you’re in the kitchen in your dress and heels making sure everything is as it should be. There is nothing at all that you can’t do. You’re nothing short of incredible, you’re a force of nature Syd. If I had to bet on one thing, it’s that you have Carmen’s complete support in everything you do. I fucking love you.” He heard the shuffle of fabric, and from Syd’s muffled response, assumed they were hugging.

“Thank you, I love you too. Maybe you’re right.”

“I keep telling you both this, I’m always right. Now please, let’s go drink some more champagne and have some fun. You’re not wasting that dress in this kitchen. Jesus, I can't believe I didn't realise you're fucking my brother!” He heard the door swing and sighed, leaving the walk-in to go out back for a smoke.

*

“Cousin, yo, what’s goin’ on - you comin’ back in?” Richie stuck his head out a few minutes later, breaking the silence.

“Yeah man, I just needed to burn one.” He held one out for Richie who came to join him and let the door shut. “It’s goin’ ok, right?”

“Carm, it’s fuckin’ amazing. I am legit so fuckin’ proud of this place and everyone in it. You an’ Syd, man, you guys have made this place.”

“S’good you two get on now.”

“Aww she’s pretty great. Don’t fuckin’ tell her I told you.” He warned,

“I think she knows, dude. If it makes you feel any better, she was tellin’ me this morning that the nights you do expo are her favorite.”

“Fuckin’ knew it!” He laughed, then paused suddenly, “Wait, how’d you see her this morning?” Carmy felt Richie’s eyes scouring his face, widening in shock “No fuckin’ way, cuz!”

“I meant last night. Here. At work.”

“Bull fuckin’ shit. How long?”

“About a month. The night we got that review?”

“I mean, I thought you guys were eye fuckin’ over the pass, like, a little more than normal… but I did not expect that. Fuck, I owe Fak 20 bucks.”

“Great, thanks.” 

“Hey man, don’t be mad at me. Are you… I dunno, are you happy?”

“I think I might be, yeah. Feels fuckin’ weird.”

“I bet. And Syd? She good?”

“I think she’s happy, yeah.”

“You in love or what?”

“I think I might be, cuz. I just… how do I know if I'm ready? Like, what if we fuck this place up?”

“No one is every fuckin’ ready, man. Never. And what if you make this place even better?” Carmy let the thought sink in, “Like, separately you’re both freaky fuckin’ geniuses and together it’s, like, even better. I know you’ve been on that ‘self care bein’ better for yourself’ kick cos you feel like you don’t deserve her,” Carmy sighed, “but you complete each other, cuz. There’s no other fuckin’ way to say it.”

“Fuck me, Richie, you should get a fuckin’ talk show.”

“Fuck you. I’m bein’ nice to you for once in your damn life.”

“I know, I’m still in shock.” They nudged each other. “I should tell her, right?”

“Yeah man, you should tell her.”

“Thanks cousin. Hey, don't say anything to her, yeah? That you know? She’s really stressed and I don’t want to make it fuckin’ worse.”

“Nah man, my lips are sealed. Love you dude, we’re gonna build a fuckin’ empire here.” Richie grasped his shoulder and joined their foreheads.

“Heard, Chef. Let it fuckin’ rip.”

“Anything for you, cuz.”

*

Though Carmy was right behind Richie going back into the party, he wasn’t quick enough. He entered through the swing door just in time to see Richie smile graciously at Syd and her dad before taking her elbow and pulling her to one side. He leaned down to talk in her ear. Carmy saw the way her eyebrows flew up to her hairline and the panic that crossed her face as she tried to pull away from him. She caught his eye briefly as Richie leaned down again and continued to talk, as he did so, she visibly started to relax. 

“Your CDC is something fierce Carmy.” Uncle Jimmy said, handing him a beer. Carmy laughed,

“Yeah, she is pretty great.” They watched as Richie was joined by Nat and the baby, with Pete hovering beside them, Syd took the baby and held him to her like a human shield as they laughed together.

“I gave baby Mikey my 1% for a reason, you know?”

“Oh yeah?”

“This place, it’s 100% Berzatto. It has to be, Carmy.”

“Syd’s not a Berzatto, Unc,” Carmy raised his beer to his lips,

"Well yeah, not right now. But she will be. I could tell when you all came creeping for $500k. She matches your ethics, your outlook. She's your equal. I mean, look at her," They watch her with the family, with Richie and the team, with Nat and the baby, even with Pete. “She’s already a Berzatto. You might want to rescue her before they scare the shit outta her though?”

“Nah, she’s got it. She’s fuckin’ fearless. That’s why I love her,” he shrugged. Jimmy beamed, clapping him on the back,

“He’d be so proud of this, Carmen. He really would.”

“Thanks Uncle Jimmy.” He picked up a glass of wine from one of the trays and took it over to Syd who swapped him for the baby. “Can we try and get out of here for a sec?” He asked quietly. She nodded once and he passed Mikey to Pete. He followed her to the kitchen. Their kitchen. 

“So Richie knows?” She sighed,

“Is that a bad thing?”

“Nat knows as well,” she admitted, “I told her earlier.”

“Your dad too.” He said with a sheepish grin,

“Oh my god.” She muttered, “how?!”

“I guess we’re shitty at hiding it? I know we said about just taking it easy and no pressure but,” he caught the frown that crossed her face,

“Fuck. I knew it, I knew it. This is why I said we had to stop, and now everyone fucking knows and it’s all gonna -” she stepped away from him

“No, Syd, fuck you’re so fuckin’ impatient. Would you just,” he took her hand, “would you let me finish? Please?” He sighed, dragging a hand through his curls. “I would go to the fuckin’ ends of the earth for you if that’s what you wanted. I don’t care about easy, or too much fuckin’ pressure, I only want you, and I want to be by your side when you take over the world and get three bullshit fucking stars - not just one. I can’t do this without you and I don’t want to, and I know I said that before but it was because I was too much of a fuckin’ coward to tell you that I’ve been in love with you since the day you walked in here.” She stared at him. Didn't say a word, just stared. "Syd?"

"Are you sure?" She asked eventually, still wary. He closed the gap between them again and took her hand. 

"Am I… am I sure?" He laughed, "Yeah sweetheart, I'm fuckin' certain. And I will spend every day proving it to you if you'll let me?" 

"I think I could live with that." She said softly. 

"Yeah?" His hands slipped around her waist, drawing her closer. 

"Yeah. The most excellent chef, occasionally a piece of shit," she teased.

"Only occasionally now? I'll take that," he smirked. 

"Occasionally a piece of shit, rarely a total dickbag, thankfully," she assured him. "the best former CDC, now Exec Chef I've ever seen?" she leaned into him with a contented sigh as he kissed her. "I love you too."

"Thank you for showing me that none of this is a waste of time." He kissed her again, the stainless steel counter cold through the thin fabric of her dress. She broke the kiss, breathless, and looked over his shoulder and out to the restaurant. Their restaurant. 

FIN

~~~~~~

[dksw0rld]

12 Things I’ve Learned In My Time Away

As I stated in my previous text post, I took an absolutely, and I mean absolutely, amazing break from Tumblr which, since I very rarely  use my Instagram and I don’t have TikTok or Twitter, is my only social media. Minus Pinterest, but I don’t count that as social media since I use it for inspiration. I can’t express to you how much my life has blossomed in my time away. 

During this time away I: 

- formed beautiful new friendships 

- have had absolutely amazing experiences (VIP concerts, PGA golf tournament in the VIP cabana, attending high tea, dancing the night away, day trips, road trips, trying new restaurants, etc.) 

- let my inner child run free, healing her in the process 

- broke my leasing cycle and financed a new car (that checked off EVERY single box on my car wish list - which I realized after the deal was done, so I wasn’t even thinking about it)

- met a soulmate who teaches me so much 

- let go of the need for control and learned to trust my intuition and God’s guidance (a work in progress but I’ve made huge progress in this)

- got crystal clear on my goals and have a clear plan laid out to achieve the rest of them 

- rediscovered my love for reading, writing and cooking 

- cleared my skin of the small fungal acne bumps I had 

- accidentally went vegetarian (don’t ask lol) and found it was the best non-decision decision I’ve ever made 

- grew my hair past my shoulder blades 

I wanted to share some things I’ve learned during this time in hopes it inspires / helps whoever needs it.

1. When you live in intense self love and trust of yourself, everything you desire seeks you or something better finds you. You won’t need to seek it.

2. You can love yourself deeply and know you have healing to do and trauma to work through.

3. Listen and observe who and what the Universe brings into your life. There is always a reason.

4. If you don’t find the beauty, love and romance within your life, you’re living in black and white when the world is full of color. Romanticize your life, find the beauty in everything. Vibrate with love and watch how much more love and beauty you attract.

5. Confidence in yourself, kindness, connections and putting yourself out there opens more doors than you know. 

6. Never pass up on an opportunity to experience something new.

7. Take pictures and videos. Keep mementos to remind you of that moment in time.

8. Do not let fear stop you. Be scared and do it anyways.

9. Move your body because you love yourself, not because you want to lose weight, tone, put on muscle, etc. Move your body to celebrate yourself and give thanks that you can. In whatever way that looks like for you. It’s not one size fits all.

10. Love yourself enough to take the best care of your body. You deserve it. Love yourself enough to take care of future you 50 years down the road. 

11. Honor and celebrate your sensual desires. Turn the lights off, light candles and move and feel your body. Stand in front of the mirror and admire yourself. Have a sexy photoshoot for your eyes only. Wear lingerie underneath your work clothes. Pleasure yourself. Your sexual desires are nothing to be ashamed of. Just honor them safely and with your best interest at the forefront. 

12. Private over public. Every time.

I encourage everyone reading this to take some time away from social media, from screens and from the noise of constantly being plugged in. Focus on you, your growth and your goals. Discover who you are outside of all the influences you’re bombarded with and watch how your life blossoms too.

[spitblaze]

do you have any recommendations for people going to japan?

do you have any recommendations for 3ds/ds/etc games someone could play on a 14 hour plane ride to japan?

Reccomendations for Japan, like in general?? Kinda vague, but lemme think and also tag @doktorpeace and @draayder for their thoughts too

-If you're going to Tokyo, Kabukicho is a MUST. It's the entertainment district! If there's anywhere in Tokyo you're not gonna look like a dumbass for walking around and gawking at things. It's Kabukicho. And there's plenty to gawk at! The square outside of Toho theater usually has something going on, there's TONS of small music venues, @doktorpeace once said something like 'you could eat at a different restaurant every day for every meal for a year and not run out of good places to eat in Kabukicho' and they are SO right. As a bonus if you've ever played a Yakuza/LaD/RGG game you almost definitely know most of the layout already. Kabukicho is not hard to navigate at all, and I'm sure that's intentional. Anyway. Go to Kabukicho. Explore the Don Quixote. Eat the food. Take a picture with the Godzilla statue. 10/10

-Honestly? I expected Harajuku to be a lot more expensive than it was, but then again the USD has more buying power than usual in Japan? Anyway the thing about Tokyo is that people there are intimidatingly trendy, I went there and now I understand why Splatoon is like that, the youths of Tokyo will wear their heavy black visual kei outfits during record-breaking heatwaves because fashion is THAT important. Anyway it's real easy to find good-quality clothes for reasonable prices there, and also a bunch of thrift shops full of cool stuff! You'll find a sweater for any American pro or college sports team you can think of and that's a promise. Fair warning, shibuya thrifting will not be significantly cheaper than regular retail, unless you're shopping for traditional Japanese clothing, in which case you absolutely should and I reccomend a store called Chicago, they had a HUGE selection. Spinns is a good store too, they also have a website that I keep meaning to order stuff from.......

-Osaka is really cool, but if you're there you're gonna want to stop by the Amerika-mura part of town. Very cool, very artsy, it feels kinda like Shibuya, if Shibuya was more like New York? Kinda?? The point is that it's VERY cool over there, there's a lot of art and neat places to get snacks and clothing stores. Absolutely check it out if you can

-the best burger I've ever had in my life was the kobe beef burger at Kokopelli. The guy who runs the place spent a lot of time in the states. I greeted him in Japanese and he said back 'hey guys what's up' in a perfect Midwestern accent. Anyway extremely good. Get some burgers there if you can

As for video games...... @doktorpeace played through Pokemon Ultra Sun on the plane ride. Don’t do that. Just play regular Sun/Moon. I was playing a lot of Octopath Traveler 2 and The World Ends With You Neo on that trip myself, and my partners both took turns with Pikmin 4 (which had just come out).

If you have a 3ds, basically any Shin Megami Tensei game you can get running on there would be a good choice, I personally reccomend SMT4/SMT4 Apocalypse and SMT Soul Hackers in terms of native hardware, I'm sure you could get the PS1 smt on there with some homebrewing and elbow grease, it can emulate basically everything up to the Sega Saturn just fine. Also Etrian Odyssey is really good, play the Untold versions on 3ds for 1 and 2 and the re-release on Switch for 3. 4, 5, and Nexus are all 3ds native. There's also a mystery dungeon game but it's only okay.

But uuuuuuh if you have like...a steam deck there's a LOT of Baldur's Gate. Like a lot. This game is huge. There are also two entire Psychonauts games! Did you know that?? Did you know you can play Psychonauts?? Did you know that is a game y

[cetaceans-pls]

more jaybru please 🙏🥺

hi anon! it's been a desert in my heart lately, but i can't let a calendar year pass w/o jaybru 🥲🥲

here's part 1 of what i have dubbed my Burger Queen fic; it's platonic....FOR NOW heh heh heh

also up on ao3 here!

Jason's not, like, a connnersuer or anything. Not much opportunity to be one, what with being a homeless kid in Gotham, so his familiarity with fast food depends on the benevolence of staff at the counter (Susila, with her strong jaw and thick curly hair, works nights Thursdays to Saturdays and is the patron saint of so so so many of Gotham's unloved children) or whatever he can thieve (any paper bag set on any seat in any public transport is fair game) or whatever he can scrounge.

 So he's not a connnersuer, but of all the fast food chains he's had more than 3 bites of, his absolute favourite, even above Bat Burger that sometimes has Justice League packaging that he got a little paperboard tear-out of Wonder Woman from, has to be Burger Ging.

 (Burger King could not Make It in Gotham, on account of the dogshit wages and the staunch anti-monarchist tendencies of the average Gothamite (no kings! no queens! no lords! no masters!) enabling the extremely crafty 'Burger Ging' food truck run by the Bazalars to open up and go wild in their place, ahaha).

 (Susila works at Burger Ging and has a secret escort of at least 4 street kids walking her home every every night; this hasn't impacted his opinion at all, no sir no).

 It's the secret sauce; it's a little sweet-spicy-sour, and dreaming of the sauce on hot-salty fries with a helping of Susila's squinty smile on the side has helped him survive to see another Thursday many many times.

 So after he's picked up by Ba-, Bruce, and is asked by this horrifically Big Scary Man what he'd like to have for dinner after his first full day in this huge haunted house, all he can think about is that it's, somehow, Thursday again, and there's only one option, if there is in fact an option.

-

 Susila doesn't even blink when they come in, though Bruce does, repeatedly, looking a little startled in the bright fluorescent lights of the restaurant. "Welcome to Burger Ging," she says right at Jason, and she's not squinty-smiling because she's staring at him with a laser-focused stare, and Jason is familiar with This Look because even he gets like this with some of the littler kids.

 It's the, 'are you with someone you are safe with?' look, even though neither of them's got the power to do anything about it the many, many times the answer has been 'no'.

 But it's not no this time, no matter how awkward he's feeling, how awkward Bruce is being. Determined, Jason grabs Bruce's hand and drags him to the counter, smiling up at Susila. "Hey, Susi," he says. "Can I get two Bopper sets please? For me and, uh." He glances up at Bruce, who's got a death grip on Jason's hand as he fakes interest in the menu. "My guardian," Jason says, even if he feels like he's the one doing the guarding, somehow. "Extra sauce! And I want the sweet ice tea, please."

 Bruce doesn't helpfully add in his drinks order, so Jason nudges him with their joined hands. "What do you want to drink, B?" he asks, what feels like terribly politely.

 Bruce comes back from wherever he'd gone, looks down at Jason, and smiles like his mouth's still learning how to. "I'll have what you're having, Jason."

 Good, if the guy takes his queues from Jason, they might survive this yet. Jason grins, and decides to press his luck to see how far it can go. "And another ice tea for this Burger King," he says, tossing his head in Bruce's direction.

 Susila barely holds back her giggle, though she does throw in a little salute. "I'll get right on that, sir," she tells him, voice deep and pretty and smooth.

 When they crack open the paper bag at home, it turns out she'd also included 2 of the paper crowns you're only really supposed to get if it's your birthday.

 It's the end of a full day in this weird house with this weird man but he's got equal parts sauce to patty and Bruce had gamely put on his crown to keep Jason company, so. Uhm.

 It's kind of like a birthday, right?

-

 It becomes a bit of a habit over the years, to once a month or so take their ugliest car and drive down into the city, illegally triple-park alongside the thousand illegally double-parked cars, and run in to Burger Ging on 12th and Fulsome at some point between 10 PM to 5 AM.

 They tend to vary their orders, especially when Burger Ging decides to venture into the world of seasonal specials. God aloud, the zereshk polo pilaf that replaced mac 'n cheese side during Ramadan that one year had made even Bruce crack a smile, and that's really really really saying something.

 Jason's even gone in to pick up food on patrol nights, though Bruce never goes in with him as the Bat. He says it's because the staff might make connections between Bruce-and-Jason and Batman-and-Robin, but Jason is pretty sure that the real reason is because the big guy is a little self conscious about how his pointy little ears look like in the shitty lights.

 Jason is also pretty sure Susila copped him on sight, because as Jason and as Robin he gets the same kind of smile and extra sauce, but she doesn't push for anything and it's not like he's going to stop smiling and joking with her, so.

 She's seen him grow up, and she's known him longer than B; he's not exactly scared she's going to blab or anything.

 On one such patrol night he rocks up at half past midnight, casting a glance around at the usual suspects (students up too late working, insomniacs in cute sweats, and people looking for a warm place to rest) before going right up to the counter, disregarding the order machines.

 "Hey Susi," he says with less exuberance than usual, face tilted funny.

 (The thing is, he's starting to get acne, and it's awful, and it's been popping up on the apples of his cheeks where the mask can dig in a little, but if he tells Bruce he wants to get acne cream, Bruce who likely has never seen a zit in his life will probably ask why, and Robin can't be Robin without a mask on, and Susi's probably seeing all his gross red pimples and think he's not cool anymore, and-)

 "Hi, Robin," she says, and she's smiling as squintily as usual.

 "Hi," he says again, trying to act cool even if he's got his gauntlet up hiding half his face. "Can I get two Boppers, please? Extra sauce?"

 "Coming right up," she says, ringing it up. "Uhm. Is everything okay? Did you get hurt?"

 Rats. Not super subtle then, trying to cover up his shame. "No," he says morosely, dropping his hand. "I'm getting break-outs," he says, grateful today that his voice is cooperating. "It's kinda gross."

 "It's not," she tells him sternly. "It's totally normal for kids your age to get them. It's just skin, unless it hurts?"

 "Doesn't," Jason says with great confidence, given the hurts he's grown used to as Robin. "It just, uhm." He doesn't know how to say, no one else in my house seems to get these. "I don't like 'em," he says instead.

 She looks at him thoughtfully. "If it's the mask," she murmurs conspiratorially, "maybe try and add some sort of soft, clean layer that touches your skin? When I was the fry guy, the hair net would make me break out on my forehead, and a bandanna helped."

 Jason perks up at an actual actionable suggestion. "I can try that!" he says, glad that he won't have to bring this up with Bruce. The man tries hard as hell to be There For Jason, but he's been acting kinda weird with the, uh, whole puberty thing. Sure, it's not dignified to have the odd hair sprouting out, to have his voice crack mid-word, and Bruce doesn't make fun of him or anything, he just...

 He'd look a little discomfited, a little weirded out, before he rebooted and got 'round to getting Jason razors and foam and things.

 Jason puts it down to Bruce never having gotten to do this with his own dad, but technically, nor did Jason. Might even be some real intense personal preference; Bruce is always clean-shaven, always well-dressed, always smells nice; he's never gone around the house in just boxers and socks. He's always a pretty stark contrast to a gawky greasy sweaty adolescent, urgh.

 Still, it's pointless to think deep-deep about why Bruce is as he is; easier to just accept him as he comes.

 It's a B thing, and Jason's happy to roll with it, especially when he can solicit community support to help answer his questions.

 They chat a little more till his order's up, and when he reaches out to grab it, Susi stops him so's she can put in a little plush keychain of the Burger Ging mascot that's really only supposed to come with kiddie meals!!

 It's Tomatina, the magical girl in her Burger Ging Transformation outfit!

 "A Burger Girl for my Burger Boy," Susila says cheerfully, before pulling out another Tomatina (Office Wear edition!!). "And this one is for, uh, the Burger Bat."

 Jason goes tomato-red under his mask (unbearable!!) but says thank you very much (of course!!).

 At least, yeah, Bruce looks kinda embarrassed but kinda pleased to get her too.

-

 Then, uh. Then there's a bit of a gap in visits to Burger Ging.

-

 First night he rocks up to Burger Ging after his Grand Return, the underworld writhing in terror and Bruce unfortunately still alive, he's not expecting much. It's been years, and he'd hope that Susila's moved on to better things. Not that she'd recognise him anyways, 150 pounds heavier, almost 2 feet taller, especially not him with the Hood on, but lo and behold.

 He goes in (oh, looks like they've remodelled it recently, and it's looking kinda posh), and there at the counter is She.

 Man oh man; of all the places he'd feel like he'd come home to, the sticky linoleum counter at Burger Ging hadn't even occurred to him. Then again, well.

 She's the adult that's known him longest, in their funny little way.

 She looks a little wary, and he notes with some dubious pleasure that he's finally finally taller than Susi, even if just barely. "Hey," he says, sounding like the death rattle of a lawnmower through the voice changer, and it makes him wince.

 "Hello," she says carefully. "Welcome to Burger Ging. How can I help you?"

 She glances at the electronic order kiosks, and looks at his thigh holsters, and her thin lips go thinner. "Listen," she carries on, not giving him a sec. "Look. You're a new rogue, I'm guessing? And I get it, we're pretty easy to rob if you're trying to get your feet wet. We don't have much cash, since everyone pays by card these days, but I'll give you what we got. Please do not pull out your gun, there're two new kids working the kitchen tonight and they're freshmen at GU and I don't want you to scare them, okay?"

 Aaaah. Keeping up her patronage of looking after Gotham's underserved, looks like. Jason considers this for a second, the security cameras and the gently dozing man in the back corner and the fact that not 72 hours ago he was carrying 'round a duffel bag full of gross drippy heads (there's dried blood and ??? on his boots, urgh), and then decides that he might as well make a clean sweep of it, be disappointed by all adults he's ever thought would care for him and keep him safe.

  "You might not remember me, 'cos it's been a while," he tells her, voice rough gone rougher, before he pops off his helmet, tucking it under an arm. "Used to come by a lot, though I, uh, got replaced. Still keep a fresh layer of gauze between my skin and the mask, though. Uhm. Hi, Susi."

 She gasps, and she recognises him, and this interaction at least doesn't seem to be one Tim's superseded (stolen). It makes Jason grin a little crookedly, and it feels weird (feels a little wrong) to be looking down at her and she's got a softer jaw and more lines by her mouth but when she smiles her close-eyed smile at him back, god.

 He's all the way back again.

 "I missed you," she says first after a thoughtful pause. "You look a lot different."

 Jason laughs. "I got a lot different. Hoping the food's still as good as ever?"

 Susi flexes a powerful arm, looking resplendent despite the truly obscene colouration of the BG uniform (gold and purple???). "Got better, if anything. What was it, a Bopper with extra special sauce?"

 Jason feels like a head in a bag dripping all of him out on the floor, a mess at her feet, but he's not crying and maybe he isn't destined to be wrong-wrong-wronged by every adult who's ever clapped eyes on him. "Sounds good," he says, and it's embarrassing that he's barely avoiding his voice breaking.

 She taps his order in without pause, and then looks at him again. "What should I call you? Is Robin still okay?"

 Oh man, he's going to be sooooo stupid again. "Jay would be fine."

 She just nods at that, not even a little bit surprised. "It's really good to see you again," she says meaningfully. Then she pulls out a little plastic baggie with the kiddie meal toy, and it's a little plush keychain of a green cat with a mane of lettuce leaves. "Lechugatita for our best customer," she says, pushing it across.

 He pulls it to him greedily, ripping open the package to immediately attach Lecha to his belt, and dimly realises he'd sooner die than have anything happen to her (he means this absolutely literally).

 "Outstanding customer service as ever, Susi," he tells her, and she smiles, and he thinks that whatever the fuck is going on with Batman, Gotham still maybe has space to love him.

-

 It's months later, when Jason's mostly cooled it on the rampaging (because he's cut a deep bloody swathe through the worst bodies) and Bruce has stopped lunging at him like a man who's lost his mind every time he sees him in his hood, stopped looking like he's about to fall to the ground and weep every time he sees him in the flesh.

 They're at an impasse, and it makes Jason's skin crawl. Bruce's willingness to turn a violent hand to him and not to the joker is the greatest sin of all time, and even if the man is cut up about it, has a glass case commemorating his death and everything, the core of it is this:

 Bruce's beliefs are more important to Bruce than Jason is, but Jason does not have the same, uh, hierarchy of needs.

 He's always orbiting around Bruce, and he doesn't really know how to stop. He doesn't even really want to stop, wants instead for Bruce to get as madly, insanely obsessed with him as Jason is with Bruce, but this won't happen, and Jason's not sure how he's ever supposed to make his peace with this.

 So he doesn't; figures there's time enough now that he's back to unpack that whole shitshow. He still goes by Ging once a month or so, and Susi keeps plying him with the latest kiddie toy, and he's got a sweet little collection going on in his safe house, but he's missing his OG Tomatina.

 On a wet, miserable day in almost-winter, he decides to swing by the Manor. It's just after lunch; usually the house is deader than dead around this time, everyone out at work or school. He's been to his room before, already been plenty creeped out by how every last thing of his is exactly as it'd been when he'd left for Ethiopia, entombed as thoroughly as this own body had been.

 It's weird and unpleasant and sad, but the upside is that he can just about find where he left everything.

 Half-whistling a song to himself, enjoying the quiet echoes, Jason swings open his bedroom door expecting to see his little bed in the cool gray sheets he'd begged Alfred for because too many years ago he'd wanted something Cool instead of the kiddy sheets with printed lions and shit.

 Instead, well.

 Same sheets, same bed, spare Bruce. Bruce on the bed, somewhy, hunched over with his arms on his knees like he's trying to stave off a panic attack.

 His head snaps up so quick at the door opening that he must hurt himself, but he could not possibly have hurt himself enough to warrant that horrific look on his face.

 It's there, it's gone.

 "What the hell are you doing here?" Jason snarls, because attacking's better than hurting.

 Bruce looks at him coolly, but when he speaks his voice is ragged and mostly-dead. "I wasn't expecting to see you, Jason," he says in non-answer.

 "What, I don't get to come to my own goddamn childhood room? I don't fucking deserve to?"

 That scores a flinch, but really Jason kinda wants to see blood. "Fine, fucking fine," Jason spits, and if his eyes are getting hot and his voice feels close to breaking that's on him and his stupid stupid hopes. "See you goddamn never, Bruce."

 He's turned on his heel, he's about to stomp away with his stupid eyes and cracky voice and his heavy sodden despair, but then there's a hand at his elbow, hold unyielding.

 "Wait," Bruce says, and he's also gone cracky and sodden. "Of course this is your room. This will always be your room, this will always be your home. This is just..... my bad habit."

 "You sure as shit have a lot of those." Jason is so so mad, but he also can't shake off that hand (feels good to be held tight like he's actually wanted, or something!). "Let go of me, you bastard."

"Can't," Bruce says miserably. "Won't. I'll go instead. Just stay. Just. I won't be back home till patrol time, Alfred should be back in an hour or so. Eat. Rest." He clears his stupid fine throat. "Please."

 That takes some wind out of his sails, Bruce ceding territory, and Jason's not sure how to respond (in a way that won't knock off the grip that Bruce has on him, man on lifeline, except maybe they're both of both). Doesn't feel like the time for the usual kind of violence, but he still desperately wants to spread hurt with a shovel. "What the hell do you even do in here?" he settles on at last, because no fucking shot the answer won't shred B up at least a little.

 He's also just curious. Bruce is a weird little isolationist in his grief, a wraith staring at tombs and glass cases and loose pearls in a box locked up tight, so it just seems.... unlike him, to directly interact with a source of grief so directly. Jason has forged himself to be the complete opposite, in this as in everything else; fights with a crowbar, eats kitfo even though it tastes like ash on his tongue, sleeps with the heaviest weighted blanket available on the market because it's such a good facsimile of the claustrophobia of waking up in a coffin.

 So. Yeah. It's weird.

 The face B makes is also a strange one, twisted but not in the sour-dour way he often gets, twisted instead the way a normal person's face might get when they're trying like hell not to weep.

 Bruce clears his throat, smoothens his expression. "Do you remember this?" he asks instead, holding up a little plush doll of Tomatina, a little frailer with age.

 Jason frowns. Why is Bruce stealing his girl? He's inflicted more violence on the man for lesser offences. After a second, though, he clocks that she's in her pretty lavender dress shirt and neat pencil skirt, her wondrous Office Lady mode, and the memory snaps into place.

 He's moving before he knows it, tearing open the middle drawer of his little work desk, the flimsy metal lock giving way with a sharp little snap!. It's the opposite of a junk drawer, though all its contents are in disarray. Inside are all of the things that are worthless (can't be pawned for much of anything) but would absolutely go into his bag if he thought he needed to run away quickly (his highest praise).

 Bits and bobs, a crumpled paperboard crown, the stub from the first theater performance Bruce had ever taken him to, a tiny figurine of Bulbasaur he'd found behind a dumpster a lifetime ago, and there, laying neatly in the corner, is Magical Girl Tomatina.

 He pulls her out like she's a relic; Bruce looks at her like she's much the same.

 Jason clears his throat. "Of course I remember. What's your point?"

 Bruce clears his throat. "I come in here sometimes to think about burgers. I think about how you used to give me your pickles, I think about that special rice pudding the restaurant sold that one Eid. I think about the nice lady at the cashier, and I think about you." He shudders to a halt, a full-body thing, but then starts up again (old faithful). "When I have her in hand, it makes it easier to remember you alive. That used to be the hardest thing; it got so easy to remember you dead."

 Another shudder like he's on the verge of hypothermia. "I've done this less since you returned," Bruce rushes to add. "But sometimes..." He looks down at Tomatina. "I just look at her and think how much better things could be if I were a, a better, ah, man," he ends, lamely.

 Jason's not sure how to respond to that, except to sharply say, "Then be better."

 Bruce looks at him, then looks away, and they both keep their gentle gentle hold on Tomatina.

 Jason pushes on. "What's the fucking point in moping by yourself in your dead kid's room? I came back and you're gonna sit here alone in the dark remembering old burgers and dead sons when you could be doing anything else." He returns his Tomatina to her spot, ensconced in other things he's got too much love for, and closes the broken drawer. He's all angered out, really just wants a hot shower and a hot drink and the crushing weight of a too-heavy blanket.

 "Take it from someone with experience; nothing good comes from being alone somewhere too dark and too quiet, B. If you wanna be better, be better. Even if you have to scratch your fingernails off, even if you have to eat dirt, even if you feel like moving another inch is gonna kill you, you do it. You do it, or you die. You change, or you lose."

 Jason's a little too nice still, to say sometimes you change and you lose anyways, but the point's in the trying (this is what he keeps telling himself).

 He moves to move past Bruce, because there is No Way he's going to end up in a good place in his head if he stays in this place with this man, and he doesn't actually want to make Bruce leave his own goddamned house (he's a little too nice still).

 This time there's no hard hearty grab, just the lightest brush of fingers on the crook of his elbow. "Get home safe," is all Bruce says, but there's a slightly dazed look to him.

 Jason suspects he knows that look.

(Jason suspects it's, ah, the face he had on when he first woke up Down Under).

-

secret tumblr only a/n: i've been thinking about jaybru p much on the daily but trying to get a full story done has been Difficult. it also doesn't help that it feels like fewer people are reading and commenting on fics, which unfortunately does have an impact on my motivation... nevertheless i couldn't actually stop writing even if i wanted to but idk man take care of yourselves, and please be nice to ur neighbourhood fanfic writer it's winter in the spirit for a lot of us!!

[jaesqueso]

member: mark

▶︎ “Yours truly” by Ariana Grande

genre: fluff

3.5k follower celebration ❤︎

word count: 794

warnings: slightly angst in the beggining

☽ ・・・・・ ☾

This weekend was supposed to be perfect but everything that could possibly go wrong did. For your two year anniversary, you and Mark decided to go out of town to a fancy resort and just enjoy some alone time together.

Firstly, the hotel messed up your reservation and you two had to wait in the lobby for over an hour after a 3 hour car ride, tired and full of bags, desperate for a nap. Secondly, there were no towels and you called the front desk 4 times until they finally delivered some. Thirdly, you tried this supposedly amazing restaurant that made you both be sick the whole night. And to top it all of, you ran into your ex-boyfriend that decided it would be the perfect time to catch up, considering you haven’t talked since your break up right before you started talking to Mark.

The mood inside the car is tense as you drive back home on this rainy Sunday night. None of you is saying anything, just watching the road in front of you as the whippers move left and right on the windshield.

“Are you sure it’s this way?” Your voice breaks the silence, not to loud, afraid to cause an explosion. ”Shouldn’t you have turned right back there?”

“Baby,” he sighs, “don’t worry.”

The pet name should smooth things down but it comes off cold and distant. Not another word comes out as he keeps driving in the dark road. Finally, after a long detour, you see your apartment complex and let out a long breath. After he parks the car, you two grab your luggage and go up, still in silence. But as you close the apartment door behind you, you just can’t take it anymore.

“Are we going to talk about it?” You try to be stern but not too much, you’re not mad, you’re just tired.

“About what?” Mark enters the kitchen without even looking at you.

“I know you’re upset,” you follow him, “and I know it’s not because of the hotel or the restaurant.”

“I’m not upset.” With a bottle of water in his hand, he moves past you to the living room.

“Oh c’mon Mark, try to deny it as much as you want but in time your feelings will show.” Again you follow right behind and watch him sit on the couch.

“Fine, maybe I am a little upset! I just-” Groaning, he shakes his head. “Somethings are better left unsaid.”

“Well,” slowly you take a seat next to him, “I’d rather have you tell me how you’re feeling, no matter what it is.”

“I-” He sighs. “I didn’t like sitting there while he was talking to you with that stupid smile on his face, ok?”

“Were you jealous?” You almost regret asking with the way his face quickly turns to you.

“I don’t know, is there a reason to?” He doesn’t wait for your answer to get up and walk to the window, talking a gulp of his water.

“Absolutely not!” You get up and take a deep breath. “Me and him are done. You’re the one that has my heart now.”

“I always thought I was just a rebound.” He admits, leaving you confused as you never thought he felt this way. “That one day you’d be done and just leave to go back to him.”

“Mark, you were never a rebound to me.” Carefully you walk towards him and wrap your arms around his waist from behind. “And I’m not going anywhere, cause you’re a keeper. All I need is your loving to get he blood running through my veins.”

“You mean it?” He turns around in your embrace, eyes glistening under the dim light of the room.

“I do.” Smiling, you pull him closer. “I love the way you make me feel, I know I was made for you. Wait.”

He watches as you fetch your phone out your pocket and, after a few clicks and swipes, throw it on the couch. Suddenly a smooth R&B song starts playing making the corners of his lips curl up when you start swaying both your bodies at the rhythm.

“I really love you and I’ll never let you go.” You tell him as you slow dance around the living room.

“I love you more than the word ‘love’ can say.” Looking deeply in your eyes, he caresses your cheek. “I’m sorry for being such a fool.”

“You’re lucky you’re still cute when you’re upset.” You both chuckle. “They say only fools fall in love. Well, they must’ve been talking about us.”

“They sure were, baby.”

This time the pet name comes warm and full of love, followed by a passionate kiss that confirms he’s yours and you’re his, forever.

☽ ・・・・・ ☾

taglist: @yokshi-unbeliebubble @nc-teen  @yutahoes @dimplehyunn @iknowyuno @bebskyy @ne0cultur3technology @nurenciye @luvjeongjaehyun @chenleyang @booyouwhore17 @jenoxygen @star1117-archives @neodreamzenie​

unable to tag: @doahflix @criminalmindsz @jaehyunsprincess

[noona-clock]

The Flight Attendant - Part 6, Final Chapter

Genre: Flight Attendant!AU

Pairing: Yunhyeong x You (Female!Reader)

Warnings: None

Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6  | Words: 2,580

"What should I get?" you inquired, lowering your voice as much as humanly possible so only Yunhyeong could hear you. Even though you were a tourist and this was your first time here, you didn't exactly want it to be obvious. The restaurant was tiny enough that eavesdropping was inevitable, but you could at least try to keep your conversation contained to your charming table for two.

"I had the Quiche Lorraine last time, and it was fantastic," Yunhyeong replied, his eyes still surveying the menu. "But this is absolutely one of those places where there are no wrong choices."

You nodded silently, biting the inside of your cheek as your gaze flitted back and forth between the menu and your dinner date -- partner. Sorry. Dinner partner sitting across from you.

"And," Yunhyeong continued, his grin peeking through in his voice when he spoke. "We can actually order alcohol this time."

You knit your brows in confusion, letting your eyes settle on him for more than a half-second. "What do you mean?"

Yunhyeong's smile grew just a fraction wider before he gently set down his menu, crossed his arms over the marble top of the table, and leaned toward you. (To put into perspective just how small the table was, by the way -- his cologne was now invading your sense because he was so close to you.)

"Remember your first day on the job?" he began, murmuring like he was revealing some confidential information.

You nodded, resisting the urge to copy his movements and lean in yourself.

"We were on the flight together, you had your nose pressed to the taxi window all the way into the city, we had a meal together -- just like today. But a year ago, we couldn't order any Sake because you had another flight later that day. Today, we can," he told you earnestly, though he ended his sentence with a blink-and-you-missed-it wink.

"How do you remember all that?" you whispered, frankly a bit flabbergasted that his memory was so good.

Yunhyeong simply shrugged before lifting his hand casually to wave over a server.

"Une bouteille de vin, s'il vous plait. Chateau Cos d'Estournel," he requested once the server arrived, the language flowing beautifully from his lips.

"Oui, Monsieur," the server muttered with a nod before turning on their heel and dashing elegantly toward the back of the restaurant.

You honestly weren't quite sure what to make of all this. First, Yunhyeong had arranged for you to fly to Paris as a friend-aversary gift. Second, he had told you that you look fantastic. Third, he had remembered virtually every detail of the first day the two of you had met. Fourth, he had just ordered a bottle of wine in nearly perfect French. In an incredibly romantic restaurant. In Paris.

"What kind of wine did you order?" you asked after clearing away the anxiety stuck in your throat.

Yunhyeong shot you a smirk, one so pleased and adorable that the anxiety you'd just cleared away came back with a vengeance. "Only the best," he replied.

Correction: he had just ordered a bottle of the best wine in nearly perfect French. In an incredibly romantic restaurant. In Paris.

The server returned, bottle and glasses in hand, only a couple of minutes later, deftly setting the wine glasses down in front of each of you and pouring the dark red liquid expertly.

"Merci," Yunhyeong murmured as the server left the bottle on the bottle on the table. "Encore quelques minutes avant de commander, s'il vous plait."

Again, the server nodded, turned on their heel, and dashed away.

Before you got the chance to ask what he'd said, Yunhyeong reached for his glass, lifting it gently by the stem and locking eyes with you. "To a full year of working together and, more importantly, being friends. And to, hopefully, many more to come. Many, many more," he toasted with that sparkle in his eye you knew so well.

"Many more," you managed to say, clinking your glass with his before surreptitiously taking a rather large gulp. After setting your glass down carefully, you pushed your chair back from the table. "I will -- oh, god, that wine is delicious. I just need to powder my nose, I'll be right back. If the server returns while I'm gone, I would like the boeuf bourguignon."

"Mm, yes, of course, go ahead," Yunhyeong replied quickly, his eyes on you as you swerved around the table to get to the restroom.

The second you ducked into the minuscule cubicle labeled Toilettes, you closed and locked the door behind you and slid your phone out of your pocket.

You had no time to think about time zones, and the person you were calling kept a very irregular schedule anyway; he could be awake at any hour of the day.

After three and a half rings, your heart racing the whole time, the line clicked, and you heard a somewhat sleepy "Yo," in your ear.

"Jae," you whispered. "I need to talk to you."

"...Where are you, and why are you whispering?"

"It doesn't matter. I mean, where I am does matter. I'm in Paris, and --"

"Dude, in Paris?! Since when?!"

"Since today, and that's part of it."

"Part of what?"

"Just let me explain!"

"Okay, okay, I'm listening."

You took a deep breath, hoping to calm your nerves so you could tell him everything without skipping any important detail. "You know my co-worker, Yunhyeong, right?"

"The dude you had a crush on for --"

"We're friends, okay," you interrupted. "But, yes. That one. Well, he surprised me by changing my schedule behind my back so we could fly to Paris and stay here for a few days. Because it's our friend-aversary -- he said that, not me. He literally used the word 'friend-aversary.' And he's taken me to this little restaurant by our hotel, and it's super romantic and charming, and he told me I look fantastic, and he mentioned something about him being incredibly less attractive than me, and he ordered their best bottle of wine, and he made this toast that was like 'to one year of friendship and many more to come. Many, many more.' And I just -- I don't know what to think."

Jae was quiet for quite a while, and you knew that meant he was thinking.

"I mean..." he began after almost half a minute. "I think you do know what to think, Y/N."

"...I do?"

"Mhm."

You knew what you wanted to think. You wanted to think that Yunhyeong was actually being more than friendly. You wanted to think he was flirting with you.

"But he's a naturally friendly kind of guy," you explained. "He's super charming and outgoing, and everyone likes him. That kind of guy."

"Have you ever witnessed him flirting with someone?" Jae asked patiently.

"...I don't think so."

"Has he ever talked to you about anyone that he's romantically interested in?"

"...No."

"And when I have been romantically interested in someone, have I talked to you about it?"

"...Yes. But that's different --"

"It's not different. I talk to you about that kind of stuff because I don't feel that way about you. No offense."

"None taken," you answered without missing a beat.

"But," Jae continued. "If I did feel that way about you, there's no way I would tell you about other people I'm interested in. Probably because I wouldn't be interested in other people, just you. This is purely hypothetical, by the way."

"Yeah, I know," you huffed, doing nothing to hide your annoyance. That's just the kind of relationship you had with Jae -- the two of you could be completely honest with each other. No holds barred, no hard feelings. "So... you're saying the reason he doesn't talk to me about that is because... he likes me?"

"I mean, it's not a foolproof theory, but I would say it's highly likely."

You stood there, blinking for a few seconds without replying. And then, "...So, what do I do?"

"I dunno, man."

"What do you mean you don't know?!"

"What do you want to do?!"

"I don't know!"

"Do you like him?"

"I've spent the past several months pretending I don't, but yes. I do."

"Then just tell him. Or ask him. Bring it up."

"But what if --"

"'What ifs' will ruin your life, Y/N," Jae scolded. "You either need to tell him, or you need to let it go. And if you don't decide tonight, you're going to let it distract you from having an amazing time in Paris."

You almost wanted to curse him for knowing you so well.

"What does your gut tell you?" he asked.

It seemed cheesy, but in order to answer his question, you closed your eyes. You took a deep breath and let it out slowly. And you listened.

Yunhyeong was a friendly person, there was no doubt about that. He greeted everyone with a smile. He was helpful to everyone. He was, quite literally, the perfect Flight Attendant. But... there was something about that sparkle. The sparkle in his eye you knew so well -- remember that? You had always thought it was just his adorably mischievous side coming out, but... what if you were wrong.

What if that sparkle was just for you? And what if you knew it so well because he'd liked you this whole time?

The more you thought about it, the more you knew Jae was right.

You wouldn't come out and tell him that, of course, but he was right.

"My gut tells me that I need to tell him," you finally said, your voice soft but sure.

"Then go for it, my dude," Jae replied with an obvious smile.

His smile was contagious, and the corners of your lips curved up. "I will. Thank you."

"It's what I'm here for. And also poke bowl cravings. I'm here for that, too."

"Of course," you chuckled. "All right, I'm going to go back out there. Wish me luck."

"You don't need it," Jae assured you before he hung up.

After sliding your phone back into your pocket, you smoothed down the front of your trousers, tugged at the shoulders of your shirt, let out a quick exhale... and opened the door.

"I'm so sorry about that," you said, chuckling breathlessly as you took your seat at the table once again.

"No, not at all," Yunhyeong grinned. "I just ordered a couple of minutes ago, so you didn't miss anything. Except my expert French."

"I am only letting you order when we go to eat somewhere, by the way." You returned his smile, picking up your wine glass and taking a sip -- not a gulp this time.

"Well, who am I to say 'no' to you?"

Your heart skipped a beat at his words, and you took that as your queue to actually go through with what you'd talked about on the phone with Jae.

"Can I..." you began, trying to maintain eye contact with him but finding yourself glancing at your wine glass. "Ask you something?"

Yunhyeong's brow furrowed gently, and he tilted his head the tiniest bit. "Of course."

"Is... this... a date?"

Four words had never been so nerve-wracking to say.

"Well, yes, of course, it is," he replied without hesitation. "It's our --"

"Friend-aversary," you finished for him. "But I mean... not a friend date. Like... a real date?"

Okay, those were the most nerve-wracking words you'd ever said.

Yunhyeong's expression immediately softened, but you couldn't tell if that was a good thing or a bad thing. He no longer looked curious or confused, and you kind of felt like he should be?

Unless... he wasn't confused about the answer or curious why you'd asked.

"I..."

It seemed like an eternity before he continued on, though in reality, it was but a few moments.

"...Would like it to be. If you feel the same."

And Jae was right again.

You shifted in your seat, pressing your lips together to stop yourself from bursting into a grin. "I do, actually."

"Really?" Yunhyeong sighed. He reached one hand out, covering your fingers with his and gripping them.

When you nodded in response, Yunhyeong let out another sigh, hanging his head briefly before lifting it up to lock his gaze on you. "I've been wanting to go on a date with you for a long time," he admitted, though he certainly didn't sound shy about it.

"A long time?!" you laughed incredulously. "I've liked you for a long time!"

Yunhyeong quirked a brow at you. "...How long is long?"

"As long as possible. Since the first day. Remember how I kissed you on the cheek? I thought that was a pretty big giveaway that I was interested, but you didn't do anything about it, so I just thought we were going to be friends."

As soon as you'd said 'the first day,' Yunhyeong's jaw had dropped. And somehow, he even managed to make that look attractive.

"The first -- But I thought you were just thanking me!"

"...With a kiss on the cheek?" you chuckled.

"Well, yeah! Obviously! I didn't know it meant anything other than that!"

You lifted your other hand and placed it atop his, sandwiching his hand between your own. "For someone who always knows exactly how I'm feeling, how did you not pick up on that?" you asked, only slightly teasing.

Yunhyeong let out a huff and rolled his eyes at himself. "Let me tell you, I have never been able to pick up on cues like that. Not once in my life have I ever known when someone was flirting with me."

So, all this time... if you had just expressed your interest to his face...

Jae's words on the phone not ten minutes ago echoed in your head: What ifs will ruin your life, Y/N.

"Well," you said," picking up his hand and placing a soft, lingering kiss on his knuckles. "Just so you know, this is me flirting with you."

Yunhyeong threw his head back laughing, and you didn't care that all of the other patrons in the restaurant turned to look. You simply beamed over at him, stretching your legs out to tangle your ankles with his under the table.

Once the echo of his laughter faded away, he squeezed your hand and gazed at you with the most heart-wrenching smile. "I won't lie, I was wondering if you were going to figure it out."

"Figure what out?"

"Paris, the restaurant, the wine, the toast... I didn't think I was being subtle."

"No, you weren't," you chuckled. "Which is why I had to go to the toilettes and call Jae to ask his advice."

"That's what you were doing?!"

You nodded, your chuckle gently evolving into a laugh.

"Well," he said, his thumb skimming over the back of your hand. "Remind me to thank him when we get home."

You nodded once more, but his words -- as dumb as it sounds -- reminded you that you were, indeed, not at home. You were in Paris.

With Yunhyeong.

You were in the City of Love with someone you -- well, you didn't love him in that way right now, but you could certainly see yourself getting there one day.

Maybe even one day soon.

...This was going to be the best layover ever.

Author's Note: if you're reading this, thank you so much! I know it's been a long, long, long time since I've posted any new fics, so I'm so grateful for anyone who has stuck with me. I can't promise I'll be posting on a more regular basis, but I can promise that I will try! 💜

[randomprojectsbeforeidie]

Studying as much as I can (1/21)

Let me tell you, yesterday was a productive day! I managed to wake up at 6 a.m. easily, and the day went well after that.

I did some more research about study tips on that Instagram account I mentioned, and here's what I found out:

- It is good to have previously defined times to use screens

- It's good to have analog hobbies, that don't involve screen time

- It's good to have some time to be outside, to get some sun and fresh air

- I must seek a susteinable routine, meaning something that I can maintain for a long time without getting absolutely exhausted

- It's good to enjoy vacations and holidays. I will try to plan some trips during these times

- There's no need to buy expensive study materials to succeed. Sometimes we correlate rich privilege with success

- There are some tips to change habits:

1. Do a list of pros and cons

2. Study about risks and benefits of the habit

3. Make plans

4. Have short-timed, small objectives to reach, and have a map with these objectives

5. Have reminders

6. Try to avoid relapsing

7. Have a social network of people who also want to change habits

- It is good to focus on health over aesthetics when thinking about food and exercise

- It makes things easier when I have a map of step by step concrete objectives I can complete in order to reach my dreams

Ok, so after this research, I did some stuff. I researched some stuff to do during my end of the year holidays. I don't think I'll manage to travel a lot (money...) but I can still explore my city. I searched my Instagram and ended up with a bunch of restaurants, museums, libraries and beaches I could visit:

It's all in Portuguese because, well, I'm Brazilian!

I also searched the net for some analog hobbies I could do during the day, specially to avoid being glued to screens all the time. I work on screens, I study on screens, by the end of the day I NEED some other stuff to do other than looking at more screens. Here is the list:

Analog hobbies:

- Reading

- Gardening

- Walking

- Crosswords and analog puzzles

- Calisthenics (like push-ups)

- Stretching

- Listening to music

- Martial arts

- Lifting

- Cooking

- Journaling

Many of these I could do turing my Pomodoro intervals, like the push-ups. Ok, modified push-ups, I'm a big potato, and can't manage full push-ups yet. I went on Hybrid Calisthenics and got some modified versions. During my Pomodoro intervals I did some incline push-ups and bended knee-raises.

I think walking will be good too. On the longer intervals, I can take walks around my building. That will get me some sun and fresh air too! And I need it, I stay inside my apartment almost all day.

Cooking is a good one too, to do during longer intervals, and will help me meal plan and work on healthier eating!

So... about the study... I actually managed to study full 2 hours yesterday! Yay for me! Let's see if I can keep up with this! I consider this a success!

Sleep: 8h

Magnesium: yay for pumpkin seeds!

Therapy: had a session and got more homework to do

Exercise: rest day. But still got some calisthenics in

Vitamins: nope. Fuen fuen fuen

Water: 4 full bottles (2 L)

[fleurcareil]

Second month recap: July

Driving away from Sleeping Giant on 1st August means I've already completed two full months in the road!! Wow!! 🤩 And most amazingly, I still feel fantastic and am not ready yet to start going home by a long shot... 😁 in fact, I'm starting to get a bit concerned about everything that I still want to do in the remaining time, but I'm sure I'll figure it out!

I forgot to check the odometer but it was probably at around 67500 so that means I drove another 6,000 kilometers in the second month and slightly under 13,000 km in total. I still stick mostly with camping two nights in a row in a park (where I drive the absolute minimum), followed by a series of motels/inns/hotels when I drive larger distances, typically 3-4 hours a day interspersed with several breaks at viewpoints, small hikes, towns etc to get a feel of the area. I generally aim to arrive at my sleeping place by 6-7pm latest so that I have enough time to settle in before it gets dark (long summer hours help!) but once in a while I get there earlier around 3-4pm to get a lazy afternoon. And sometimes I only start at 10-11am taking it easy in the morning, especially when it's crappy weather 😅. The joy of absolute freedom to choose how I spend my days!! 🥰❤

I can hardly believe where I was at the end of the first month as that feels such a long time ago... in Matane in the Gaspesie, Québec. So last month, I did the entire Labrador loop which included a large section of unpaved road and more boreal trees than I ever imagined 😝. Got delayed on the cargo boat back to Québec so that resulted in some last minute changes to hotels and tours, then the ever-impressive sea along the Cote Nord all the way west to Québec City, several pretty national parks in central Quebec that were unfortunately impacted by flooding, a stay-over in Montreal and then along the Ottawa Valley via North Bay - Sudbury - Sault Ste Marie to the spectacular scenery of Lake Superior! 🎉 The diversity in the natural environment from maritime to boreal, from sea cliffs to inland canyons & massive lakes is so incredibly huge, and I'm only half way, as the Prairies and the Rockies are still ahead of me! 😍😍

What is constant though throughout is the friendliness of the people I meet, whether it's the staff at the visitor centres and in the parks, other campers or restaurant guests, or even if it's only a short "great day isn't it?" when you're passing each other on the trail or on the water. Canadians are rightly proud of their local area as well as their country, and are truly wanting to share that with others.

I've also come to realize I'm not alone in wanting to pursue my dreams as many have done so before me; from the scallops farmer in Québec to the inn owner in Ontario, several have shared with me their life trajectory often having moved away from the busy corporate/urban life to focus on what's important to them. No one has perhaps dared to tell me I'm crazy 😜 and it's surprising how many people can in some way relate to Chile 😅 so that makes me hopeful for the future!

Lastly, I wanted to share my reflection on the role that cross-country retailers like Canadian Tire, Tim Hortons and to some extent grocery stores and gas stations play in comforting travelers like me and unifying Canada as truly one country... as part of my job, I've ofcourse always known that CT has 507 stores across Canada but I've never felt what that means until now. When driving for 100-300kms in the middle of inhospitable forest without cell reception and literally only a handful of sideroads and buildings, it's comforting to know that at the end of it there will always be a place to e.g. buy a cup of tea & a donut or propane & kindling 😅. Typically, both CT and Tim Hortons will have signs 5-10km upon approach of a town (though mostly run down and overgrown 😉) and there's a real sense of relief & joy that I've been feeling seeing those signs; a combo of gladness that my car didn't break down or was hit by a moose/bear, and of happiness to be back in the familiar human realm (something like that, not sure how to explain). Secondly, it's also unifying to see the same brands in so many different places, as that creates a bond between all Canadians (in contrast, if you would drive equal distance in Europe you would likely have crossed a border with each country having its own brands/language etc). Having the same stores with the same products everywhere you go in Canada creates a commonality that clearly says: I am in Canada 🇨🇦 (actually, because CT stores are built on a standard proto design, I bought firestarters in exactly the same aisle in Pembroke as in Dryden 🤣)... I don't think this comforting & unifying aspect is apparent when you live in an urban area or only travel locally, but this roadtrip has increased my appreciation of both these Canadian brands (and I'm really not a big Tim Hortons fan although the branch in Marathon was phenomenal) .

I've rambled long enough now and need to light the fire 😃, so here's my top ten-ish of best experiences for the second month in chronological order. Scroll to my previous blogs for pictures!

1. Driving the Labrador loop including the expansive boreal forest and the Manic-5 hydro dam, QC/NL

2. Staying at Battle Harbour Island, NL

3. Seeing icebergs on the trails at Red Bay and L'Anse au Clair, NL

4 Taking the cargo boat from Blanc-Sablon to Kegashka, QC

5. Touring the Mingan archipelago (both west and east islands), QC

6. Whale watching at Cap de Bon-Désir & the Marine Discovery Centre, QC

7. Hiking the Mont du Lac-des-Cygnes at Grands-Jardins, QC

8. Meeting Nabil and spending the day in Vieux-Montreal, QC

9. SUPping at Barron Canyon & Restoule, ON

10. Hiking the pictographs trail at Lake Superior & the coastal trail at Pukaskwa parks, ON

11. Paddling on Lake Superior, ON

12. Guided PoW camp hike at Neys provincial park, ON

There's a few that I omitted such as the Manitou waterfall in eastern Québec, park La Mauricie and the Ouimet Canyon that are must-do's if you're in the area but I can't simply name everything that I did! 😉

I'll need to create better Gmaps next time I have internet on my laptop!

2nd month travel;

Total travel since 1st June;

[brokenbones-singsongs]

Another instance of bored out of my mind at work

1. What have you eaten today?

A banana

2. Who was your last kiss with? Was it pleasant?

Phil. I guess so. Just told him goodbye before work.

3. What color shoes did you last wear?

Black and white checkered vans

4. Who has made you laugh the hardest in the last week?

Myself

5. What is your favorite scent?

Vetiver

6. What is your favorite season? Why?

Fall. Everything is crispy and gold and orange and it’s spooky season

7. Can you do a handstand or cartwheel?

Both

8. What color are your nails?

Just natural for noq

9. If you had to get a tattoo on your face to save your life, what would it be?

A freckle

10. What is something you find romantic?

A lot of things. Mostly someone keeping track of all of the little things. How you take your coffee, what food you like from certain restaurants, etc.

11. Are you happy?

I am

12. Is there anything in particular making you happy or sad?

A lot of things in both departments.

13. Dogs or Cats?

Dogs

15. Which do you prefer:a museum, a night club, the forest or a library?

Between a museum and a library

15. What is your style?

Whatever’s comfy. I wear a lot of simple flowy things. Leggings and jean jackets, cardigans, etc.

16. If you could be doing anything you like right now, what would it be? I’d still be in my bed asleep.

17. Are you in a relationship or single?

Engaged.

18. What makes you attracted to the person you like right now?

He’s patient with me, calm, levelheaded, very smart, takes care of himself, a wonderful dad, he’s attentive, he loves me…

19. If you could replace your partner/best friend with a celebrity of your choice, would you? Who with?

I wouldn’t replace her. I don’t think anyone could. But I would still absolutely love to be friends with Emma stone

20. Are you holding on to something you need to let go of? If so then what?

A laundry list of things. The biggest one is thinking I’ll ever get any closure from keegan.

21. How did you celebrate last Halloween?

We didn’t.

22. Have you recently made any big decisions?

I quit my job.

23. Were you ever in a school play?

A few! I loved every single one of them.

24. What movie would you use to describe your life?

There’s none that really accurately portray this mess. I really resonated with perks of being a wallflower when it came out though.

25. Is there something you have dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

I want to own my own coffee shop. I don’t because it’s expensive.

26. Complete this sentence, “I wish I had someone with whom I could share…”

I think I actually have everyone I could ever want to share anything with in my life now.

27. What are two things that irritate you about the same sex?

The catty need to tear each other down and insult things we can’t help about ourselves.

The few of us who bow down to the patriarchy and think there is no need for equality and women’s rights.

28. What are two things that irritate you about the opposite sex?

Their inability to understand that No is a full and complete sentence

They think only with their dicks

29. What is the best thing that has happened to you this week?

I found a place full of cute ass clothes that actually fit normal sized women.

30. What is something that makes you sad when you think about it?

All of the hard decisions I’ve made that have hurt others even if I was doing the best I could with what I had.

31. How long was your longest relationship?

Four years.

32. Have you ever been in love?

More than once

33. Are you currently in love?

I am

34. Why did your last relationship end?

Lmao where to begin…

35. What jewelry are you wearing right now, and where did you get it?

Earrings I think I bought myself and an engagement ring from my fiancé via Etsy.

36. When was the last time you cried and why?

Yesterday over a TikTok

37. Name someone pretty.

My best friend 🥰

38. What did you receive last Valentines Day?

I didn’t.

39. Do you get jealous easily?

I don’t like to think so but….

40. Have you ever been cheated on?

I have a sneaky suspicion but I’ve chosen not to try and find out.

41. Do you trust your partner/best friend?

100%

42. Ever had detention?

A few times

43. Would you rather live in the countryside or the city?

The city

44. What do people call you?

Sierrah, Twin, Mama, Sweetie, Babe, Watson, Dr. Watson, Sissy, Friend, Girl Child

45. What was the last book you read?

Empire Of Storms by Sarah Maas

46. How big of a nerd/dork are you?

I’m a giant nerd about certain things

47. What kind of music do you listen to?

A little of everything, but most of my playlist is indie alternative

48. How tall are you?

5’ 2.5”

49. Do you like kids?

I do

50. Favorite fruits?

Watermelon, cantaloupe, purple grapes

51. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?

Leggings

52. What’s your earliest memory?

My fourth birthday when I was given Ricky raccoon and had a cupcake train as a birthday cake

53. Ever had a poem or song written about you or to you?

There’s a song out there…

“Do you wanna run? Do you wanna drive? Do you wanna get away and start over? Do you wanna begin again…”

54. Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

Equal amounts of both

55. Do you have a collection of anything?

Miniature pianos, playbills, pins, different editions of Peter Pan, You Are Here mugs from Starbucks…

56. Do you save money or spend it?

Both.

57. What would your dream house be like?

One of those timeless homes with a big green grassy yard and towering oak trees like in the movies we watched as kids.

58. What top 5 things make you the angriest?

Infidelity, lies, abusive people, rampant stupidity, being micromanaged

59. What top 5 things always brings a smile to your face?

My son, any time spent with my best friend, snow, Broadway shows, seeing the mountains.

60. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

Save the dog. I’ll get another job.

61. 72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

I would tell everyone. I’d spend the rest of my days trying to do everything I ever wanted and I’d bring along anyone who would be willing to go with me. I don’t think I’d be afraid. Death is but the next great adventure.

62. Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

That squishy organ in our chests.

63. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

I’v always wanted to see Paris

64. Do you like the beach?

I di

65. Ever sleep on the couch or a bed with someone special?

Both

66. Do you have a middle name? If so what is it?

Marie

67. Do you talk to yourself?

All the time

68. Describe your hair.

It’s very fine, I have a shit ton of it, and it’s currently 15 shades of red/brown/blonde/caramel

69. What is the meaning of life.

To live

70. What is your ideal partner like?

I’m with him and I explained above what I love about him.

71. Do you want to get married?

I am next February.

72. Do you want to have kids?

I have one, undecided on whether we’ll try for another.

73. Like or dislike your family?

I like some, dislike others

74. Are you Chunky or Slim?

Leaning more chunky these days

75. Would you consider yourself smart?

Yes

76. What would you change about your life?

I wouldn’t. I mean I would like to be be financially secure but that’s it

77. Religious or Not?

No

78. You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?

This would never happen

79. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?

No

80. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?

Every single day

81. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?

We’d be asleep

82. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in? He lives with me so yeah

83. Do you like when people play with your hair? It’s my favorite thing

84. Do you like bubble baths? I LOVE them

85. Have you ever been pulled over by a cop?

Twice

86. Have you ever danced in the rain?

More than once

87. Do you trust anyone with your life?

Several people

88. What was your first thought when you woke up this morning?

Fuck.

89. If money wasn’t an issue, what top 10 places would you travel to? (You get to stay at each place for a week)

Seattle, NYC, Australia, Paris, Switzerland, Norway, Italy, Ireland, England, hawaii

90. How was your day today?

Quiet

91. Play an instrument?

A little piano

92. Describe the what you think of the ocean.

I think it’s beautiful and a force to be reckoned with. Spending time in front of it always feels like a reset button on life.

93. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts?

Both.

94. Honestly, are things how you wanted them to be?

No, but things are good. I’ve given up on trying to plan the future. It is never really what we think it will be.

95. Do you have a mean bitchy scary side?

I do, but I rarely let it out

96. When are you vulnerable?

It just depends

97. How much free time do you have?

No much

98. Do you like to go hiking?

Very much

99. Odd or Even Numbers?

Even

100. Would you ever go sky diving, bungee jumping , cliff diving, wing suit gliding, parasailing, snorkeling, or other extreme activities?

All of the above and more