#if I were to avoid burnout I wouldn’t do anything ever that I need to

[intelligent-space-gay]

I want to cry I don’t wanna be out anymore I don’t want to be a person I don’t want to be perceived I’m not going home I’m going to my partners but I want to go HOME I’m going to put my headphones on n watch shameless on my phone n cry n then go to sleep

[ultrcviolet]

not even the burnouts are out here anymore.

wanted connections listed below.

i. we spent what was left of our serotonin - the moment of peace. in the eye of a hurricane, there is a quiet kind of peaceful. they bring out this kind of stability in maeve. they don’t force her into it or make her feel bad when she has those days she feels like she can’t slow down, they just embrace her regardless. there’s always have a safe place to land, whether it’s controlled or a crash. taken by topher.

ii. just a wrinkle in your new life - the former friend. the walsh family were never well off, but they sure as hell were doing better than maeve trying to brave the world on her own. they knew maeve back when they were both kids. when maeve was fighting with her parents and running away from home, they distanced themselves for reasons maeve never cared to ask. when they started trying to talk to her again (closure or reunion, who really knows), maeve has made it clear she won’t listen.

iii. i swear i'd burn this city down to show you the light - the soft spot. maeve is is tough shell to crack, but they have managed to do it. she feels this intense protectiveness over them. definitely more of a soft, sunshine type character. taken by abril.

iv. can't take the kid from the fight, take the fight from the kid - the antagonists. everyone in town assumes you guys hate each other. it’s only half true, really. there’s something about someone that will be just as snarky to your face as you are to theirs that can build a lot of trust. she didn’t see it before, but now that everyone is a suspect, maeve is paying a little more attention to who she thinks she can trust. somehow, they made the list. taken by nax.

v. i thought i loved you, but it was just how you looked in the light - the ghosted. maeve doesn’t play with other people’s feelings. truth is, she has never really cared enough to. if she doesn’t like you, she doesn’t care about the people pleasing niceties that say she should pretend to. you will know. which means she did really like them when the sparks started to fly. things just moved too quickly and running away was all maeve knew how to do. convinced herself those feelings were fake and avoided anything that reminded her of that near relationship.

vi. take this sideshow & all its freaks, turn it into the silver screen dream - the friends. maeve’s go-tos. could either be a small group that all kind of hang out and vibe together or just a handful of friends that maeve has and hangs out with all separately. ( open to 2-3 )

vii. you wanna hold my hand. i make a fist - the ex. one of maeve’s most serious relations. still, she struggled with being open and vulnerable to a partner. she’d always push them away, usually for them to return. one time they didn’t, and maeve is trying to put on a brave face and act like being left doesn’t feel like a knife.

viii. i need a new partner in crime and you shrug - the partner in crime. young, wild and free; that’s always been the goal. these two are a match made in hell. though they probably bring out the worst in each other, they have so much fun when together. something that burns this bright is bound to burn out quickly, but it’s going to be one hell of a ride until you crash.

ix. this is our place, we make the rules - the roomie. maeve cut off her family and ran away <3 she’s got very little money so it wouldn’t be the most flash place ever, but roomies that are just pure chaos vibes in a small apartment PLEASE.

also anything any everything else <3

[say-al0e]

Honestly just need some tooth rotting fluff for Eddie. Feels like all I find for him is smut. Perhaps it could be them being together after s4 and they’ve graduated finally. Them not worried about what the future has in store for them both and just enjoying moments like these for right now. ( xfemale! reader pls🥰)

Soft fluff with Eddie and reader, under the ‘read more’! Not explicitly female reader (I believe it’s gender neutral, someone let me know if I’m wrong). Right at 1k words!

Eddie couldn’t remember the last Fourth of July carnival he attended.

It was sometime before high school, back when he had buzzed hair and still cared way too much about what guys like Steve Harrington - and girls like Tammy Thompson - thought about him. It was when he still lived with his parents, before his uncle took him in, that much he knew. But specifics from that period were all a blur.

With the town’s general attitude toward him, toward people that looked like him, he tried to avoid large gatherings. It wasn’t because he cared about whatever they had to say, it was more because he just couldn’t be bothered. The attention never bothered him but their whispering could get exhausting.

He knew that if it weren’t for you, he would’ve happily continued avoiding places like the carnival altogether. 

However, Eddie Munson had fallen completely, utterly, and irrevocably in love with you. You had him wrapped around your finger - willing to do absolutely anything you asked of him, no hesitation, no shame - and, because of that, he found himself wandering through his own personal Hell.

Eddie was sure you were a sight - him, with his ripped jeans and ratty band t-shirt, cigarette between scowling lips as you wandered the fairgrounds; you, with your pretty pink linen shorts and sleeveless top, lips grinning wide as you took in the sights - but he couldn’t find it in himself to care about the heavy stares he felt. 

The near constant smile you’d flashed since climbing into his van was all that mattered and Eddie realized as he trudged on, oversized unicorn plush in one hand and yours wrapped in the other, that he was well and truly fucked. His heart was yours - cradled in your hands, something fragile you could shatter, if you were ever so inclined - but, instead of terrifying him, the realization brought him a startling peace.

For as brave a face as he put on, Eddie spent a great deal of his life afraid. He’d been afraid he wouldn’t graduate, afraid he might go to jail, afraid he might die in some bizarre alternate Hawkins, afraid he might never amount to anything more than a burnout. More than anything, however, Eddie spent a good deal of time afraid that he might never be truly content.

Weed and music made him happy. Sex made him happy. Dungeons and Dragons made him happy. Shitty horror movies and fantasy novels made him happy. But nothing filled the void he feared would one day consume him. He was constantly searching for something, chasing a high he could never quite reach, and it wasn’t until he found himself lost in an alternate dimension - with a group of people he’d never once considered could become so important to him - that he thought it might be within his grasp.

It wasn’t until he found himself curled up beside you, physically and mentally exhausted from battle, that he realized what he’d been missing all along.

Eddie swore that he knew how to flirt, swore he could be considered charming, but all sense of decorum flew out the window when he realized how he felt about you. The crush he’d harbored in high school, a teenage dream shattered by harsh reality, bloomed into love so quick that he didn’t have time to process before he was asking you to see a movie with him.

Immediately - from the moment you gripped his hand near the Upside Down Skull Rock, smile soft and reassuring even as he shook with fear - your presence calmed the too-fast beat of his heart. Immediately, Eddie felt content. 

With you, there was no fear.

There was no worry that he might not graduate - with your help, he did; by the skin of his teeth, but he still walked across the stage and flipped off the principal in the process. There was no worry that he might go to jail, no worry that he might die. There was no worry that he might never amount to anything, no worry that he was wasting his life.

With you, Eddie was content.

Eddie squeezed your hand, unable to help himself, and grinned when you glanced at him. “You wanna ride the ferris wheel before the line gets insane?”

Neither of you cared about the fireworks - you’d even promised him a makeout session in his van, hidden away from the kids and Robin and Steve and Nancy and Jonathan, as a thank you for enduring the torture that was a town event - and you knew the line would be unbearable, just for a chance to see them from the top.

From the top of the ferris wheel, you could see the entirety of the fairgrounds. Hawkins wasn’t what either of you would’ve considered beautiful - though, you both had to admit there was a certain charm to it after living through the alternative - but, from the top of the ride, it wasn’t half bad.

Eddie wouldn’t miss it at all when you moved to Indianapolis together in the fall, though.

Before he could voice that aloud, you turned to him with a bright smile.

“Can we get funnel cake after this?” Neither of you needed the sugar - Eddie had a joke about you tasting sweet enough without it on the tip of his tongue - but before he could so much as inhale, you frowned. ”On second thought, maybe not. You’re wearing all black, the sugar might make a mess.”

Mumbled thoughts like that - little acts of consideration, things other people might consider trivial - made all the difference in the world to him. You cared, enough to worry about getting powdered sugar on his jeans, and suddenly his calm made all the sense in the world.

When there was someone to worry for him, someone to care, the burden didn’t feel quite so heavy.

Eddie leaned over, reached for your chin with practiced ease, and pressed his mouth to yours in a kiss that had you seeing stars. Your vanilla chapstick was sweeter than any powdered sugar, more enticing than any carnival food could’ve been, and Eddie hoped the entirety of Hawkins heard as he declared, “I fuckin’ love you, sweetheart.”

He couldn’t remember the last Fourth of July carnival he attended but, when you grinned - repeated those three words back just as strong, just as steady - Eddie knew he would remember this one for the rest of his life.

[dauntless-gothamite]

Prove Them Wrong [2/?]

Fandom: Divergent Pairing: Eric Coulter x Fem! Reader Summary: Y/N is a Dauntless transfer from Erudite, and she has a drive, an ambition that sets her apart--it always has, even back in Erudite. She brings her perseverance (and need to prove others wrong) to Dauntless when she transfers, and she uses her mind to make her way through the initiation process. Along the way, she makes friends and enemies, and she finds herself comfortable around the man most people in Dauntless avoid at all costs: Eric Coulter. A/N: it seems this may be a little bit of a slow burn, based on the pacing and where I am in chapter three right now... Enjoy!

You woke up to the sound of metal clanging together, an unpleasant alarm if you’d ever heard one. “Get up, get dressed, and be in the training room in two minutes,” Four said, banging the metal together one last time before leaving the room. 

Everyone scrambled to get dressed in their new black Dauntless clothes, and as people entered the training area, they began to form a semicircle around Four and Eric. “Ok, let’s get started,” Four said, clapping his hands together. “There are two stages of training. The first is physical, you will push your bodies to the breaking point and you will master the methods of combat. The second is mental, again breaking point. You’ll face your worst fears and conquer them--unless they get you first. You’ll be trained separately from the Dauntless-born, but you’ll be ranked together. After initiations, rankings will determine what jobs you move into: leadership, guarding the fence, or keeping the factionless from killing each other.”

“The rankings will also determine who gets cut,” Eric cut in, rising from where he sat on a concrete slab. An uneasy whisper spread throughout the initiates. No one knew about this, and you had to admit, you were getting a bit nervous yourself. “At the end of each stage of training, the lowest-ranking initiates will be leaving us,” Eric continued. 

“To do what?” asked Al.

“Well, you can’t go home to your families, so you’ll be factionless.”

Another wave of murmurs rippled through the crowd of initiates, but it was quickly silenced by Eric’s glare. “Someone should have told us,” Christina said.

“Why? Would you have chosen differently? Out of fear?” Eric replied challengingly. “I mean, if that’s the case, you might as well get out now. If you’re really one of us, it won’t matter to you that you might fail, alright? You chose us. Now, we get to choose you.” Eric looked at each initiate, his blue eyes challenging each person to look away. Some people did, others didn’t. You didn’t. 

Instead, you held his intense gaze as the itch to prove others wrong that had been inside you since the day you were born rose up, ready to be set free. What Eric said was scary, but it didn’t matter--all your years of studying the faction system told you that they would try to scare the initiates, and while you hadn’t expected this, you had known it wouldn’t be easy. But you had worked your ass off for years to be top of the class in Erudite, and you’d be damned if you weren’t going to do the same here, in your new faction. 

--

“Everyone, get some water before we move into the next segment of training,” Four called out. It took everything in you not to bend over as some others were doing; you knew standing up straight, getting fresh air in your lungs, would make the cramp in your abdomen go away faster, even if it hurt more now. 

“Tris, stand up straight,” you whispered to your friend, who was red-faced after running twenty laps around the room, which was everyone’s warm-up for the day. 

“Just so you know, tomorrow we won’t just be running laps,” Four said, surveying all the tired initiates. “So get used to this.” 

You sighed, mentally thanking yourself for joining a small workout group in Erudite. It was fairly new, and it was only created because studies showed that after some physical activity, the brain was better equipped to come back to problems it struggled with earlier and continue working whereas remaining stagnant was more likely to result in burnout and fatigue. The workouts were nothing like this, but you were still appreciative of them.

“Alright, everyone find a punching bag and start hitting. Eric and I will be walking around correcting your form, but it’s on you to put our advice into practice. Go,” Four announced after barely even a minute of the “break” had gone by. 

Turning on your heel, you walked over to the nearest punching bag and lined yourself up. Feet spread evenly about as wide as your shoulders, then step the left foot forward just a bit. Knees bent slightly, fists raised high. Then, you get to punching. 

After what felt like an hour of hearing Four quietly critiquing other students between Eric’s shouts of disappointment at other initiates, the two trainers finally got to your area of the training room. Out of the corner of your eye you caught Four walking up to Tris, slightly adjusting her position and giving helpful tips. Another set of footsteps came to a stop behind you, which meant Eric would be the one helping you. Your shoulders tensed for a moment, but you quickly forced yourself into a more relaxed position and continued punching. Just pretend he isn’t there, you told yourself. After hitting the punching bag six times, called out “Stop” from behind you. He walked over to your side and took a fighting stance. “Make sure your hips are square, like this, so when you throw a punch with the hand that is further back, you can twist your hips and use core strength to put more power into it,” he said stoically, and you did your best to mimic his stance. “No, like this,” he said, grabbing your hips and twisting them, holding you firmly in place for a second before letting go. “Try it now,” he said. You started throwing punches again, and he nodded before silently walking away. When you paused to readjust your stance, you heard Eric yell “Did I say you could stop, Y/N? No, I did not; keep going!” You took a deep breath and began the next onslaught of punches as the room fell quiet save for the sound of fists hitting punching bags, a rhythmic thumping sound. 

“First jumper!” Eric called out, disrupting the steady beat and sense of calmness in the room. “In the ring.” Beside him, Four sighed and looked down at his feet, and you had a bad feeling about whatever was about to happen. “Last jumper,” he continued, looking at a girl with dark hair--you think you may have heard her friends call her Molly, but you aren’t entirely sure. “Time to fight.”

Tris and the girl stepped up to the ring. “How long do we fight for?” the girl asked.

“Until one of you can’t continue,” Eric said in response. 

“Or one of you concedes,” Four interjected, stepping forward. 

“According to the old rules,” Eric corrected. “With the new rules, no one concedes.”

“You really want to lose someone in their first fight?”

“Well, a brave man never surrenders.” 

“Lucky for you, those weren’t the rules when we fought.”

Eric clenched his jaw, irritated, before saying “You’ll be scored on this, so fight hard.” Tris and the other girl squared up and began to circle each other, but Eric was getting impatient. “Go!” he barked. 

After nearly falling off the mat, Tris lunged, but the other girl dodged, twisted, and retaliated with a swing of her own, landing a punch to Tris’ face. As Tris retreated, the other girl pressed her advantage, catching Tris’ waist, bending her over, and punching her stomach a few times before Tris managed to break free of her hold. Just as she reached the end of the mat and turned, Tris was met with another punch to the face, sending her to the floor. The other girl--Molly--glanced at Eric since Tris was down, and he nodded, signaling Molly to send one last blow Tris’ way, knocking her out. As you watched the fight, you felt bad for your friend; she was much smaller than Molly, and part of you wanted to speak up about the cruelty that the trainers were showing, but you shoved it down. There was no need to compromise your position right now. 

“Next,” Eric yelled, pointing to a girl named Selene and a former Candor named Peter who had made fun of Tris, calling her a Stiff several times. You secretly hoped Selene would kick his ass, but it was unlikely, he was tall and strong, plus he was willing to fight dirty--he’d admitted as much in the dorm area. Guess he still couldn’t keep his mouth shut, even though he’d left Candor.

Selene was tough; what she lacked in strength she made up for in endurance, but after a few rounds of dodging Peter’s punches, he finally landed one to her solar plexus, stunning her, allowing him to sweep her legs out from underneath her and kick her as she lay on the ground. You clenched your jaw as he did so, feeling anger rise up inside of you. Selene was unable to fight, that was the stopping point of the fights, but Peter was still kicking her. And Eric, the emotionless person that he was, didn’t do anything. 

“Peter,” you said, “stop it.” Peter turned towards you and smirked.

“What are you going to do if I don’t?” he taunted. You considered for a second before turning to Eric. 

Looking up at him, you steeled yourself. “I know we don’t get to determine the fighting order, or who we fight, but I would like to fight Peter. Now,” you said, sure to keep your voice level and maintain eye contact with the leader. 

He raised an eyebrow at you curiously, and thankfully, Peter had stopped kicking Selene when you started speaking to Eric. Selene scooted to the edge of the mat, but that was as far as she could move without assistance. “You two,” Eric yelled at two initiates, “help Four get this one,” he pointed at Selene, “to the infirmary.” Then he turned back to you. “What are you waiting for, initiate? Get up there.” For a moment you were stunned, you didn’t actually think you would end up fighting Peter, and you knew that both Eric and Peter were expecting you to lose quickly. You caught Four’s eye as he carried Selene out with the help of two initiates, and you looked around to see Christina, Tris, Will, Al, Edward, Molly, and a few other initiates staring at you like you were mad. Maybe you were, but it was too late to back out now. You stood in a low, sturdy fighting stance, just like Eric had shown you. Peter did the same. For a moment, the room was dead silent as your eyes locked with his, and then both of you whipped into action. 

Peter went right for the face punch, but you quickly blocked upward and threw a low roundhouse kick at his knee, making him wobble. He recovered quickly, and he quickly used his height to his advantage, moving to grab your shoulder and slam you into the ground. You were smart though, and you let him move you slightly before turning the downwards motion into momentum that allowed you to do a somersault, twisting his arm and landing on your feet. As he was turning around to face you, you sent a snap kick right to the back of his knee, making it buckle. You moved quickly to his other side, ready to send a few punches to his face and knock him out, but he sprung forward, wrapping strong hands around your neck and squeezing. For a moment you panicked, hitting his arms, but they didn’t move. Everyone was sure that was it for you, but you had another trick up your sleeve--Peter was overly confident this would weaken you and in the process of squeezing, he had left his own body defenseless. So you kicked him in the groin. Hard. He called out and released you, and as he leaned over in an instinctual reaction to pain, you kicked his forehead with your knee, shoved him to the side, knocking him over, and kicked him again, this time in the solar plexus. You stood there, stone-faced, and when Peter didn’t make a move to fight back, you turned to Eric, who nodded, and you jumped down from the mat. 

You landed next to Will, Tris, and Christina, all of whom were staring at you in a mixture of horror and admiration. You blushed in embarrassment and looked at the ground, thinking to yourself, What the hell did I just do? You were so lost in thought that you didn’t realize the next two initiates were on the mat and fighting, and you only came back to yourself when Eric yyelled, “Hey! Are you deaf, initiate? I said go grab some ice for your neck, I don’t want to hear complaints about it tomorrow!” 

You nodded to your friends and said “I’ll be back in a minute,” shocked at how hoarse your voice was. “Just going to… yeah,” you trailed off before walking quickly towards the infirmary. 

A/N: can you tell I love writing fight scenes? also I do martial arts and have played sports my whole life, so I love when I get to use my knowledge of anatomy and physiology two write action scenes :)

Tag List: @shykoolaid

[weebswrites]

Hello! You probably have a lot of requests right now so I apologize for adding on to it.

Would it be possible to request the brothers (+Solomon) comforting an MC that’s just super stressed with school and just life?

Recently, school for me has been..to say the least, mentally exhausting and there are just countless nights of crying or pulling all nighters cause I’m so behind (2nd quarter cause I started school rather late, it’s complicated). I’m so sorry for ranting about this. But yeah could I just request it to be super fluffy? If you end up writing this, thank you so much! Stay safe <3

The Demon Bros & Undatables: Comforting a Stressed MC

Lucifer

• He wasn’t sure how to comfort you when you first arrived in the devildom, but after a few weeks spending time together he picked up your comfort activities and items

• So when he heard you crying in your room late one night, a night he knew was the night before a big exam you’d been studying like crazy for, he knew what to do

• He went to the kitchen and grabbed a comfort snack and your favorite drink, stopping by his room to get a blanket that smelled like him before gently opening the door to your room

• You sniffled and wiped your face, turning to see who it was

• “Lucifer, hey. Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up”

• “You didn’t, my love. Here” he wrapped the blanket over your shoulders and placed the kitchen Items on your desk, close enough for you to reach them but far enough if you couldn’t eat then you wouldn’t feel forced. He then walked to your bed and grabbed your favorite stuffed animal, placing it in your lap and kissing the top of your head

• “What can I do to help” his voice was soft, and the two of you spent the night cuddled in bed, sitting against the wall as he quizzed you on facts until you both fell asleep (he set an alarm so you wouldn’t miss your exam, don’t worry)

Mammon

• Gift-giving love language, despite his constant urge to sell your things

• So whenever you’re stressed over schoolwork, he picks up an extra shift at Hell’s Kitchen (secretly) and brings you a coffee / your energy drink of choice and a little trinket he saw that made him think of you

• Your desk has accumulated quite a pile of these little gifts, and when you look up at them it fills you with a familiar warmth that only his affection can give you

•  He has the best timing with these too, whenever you feel yourself getting overly frustrated you hear a knock at your door or see your D.D.D. screen light up with a text from him

• He also gives incredible shoulder massages? You had no idea, but when you’re hunched over one night and feel his hands straighten your back and start kneading the sore muscles in your neck you swear your soul left your body

Leviathan

• He’s a great listener and will let you vent to him any time, anywhere

• He doesn't sleep much anyway, so when you text one night that you’re coming over because you need to blow off steam he likes the message and prepares a blanket and stuffed animal for you to squeeze

• Bonus: he got a stuffed animal just for you to take your anger out on, a little bit so you wouldn’t squeeze one of his Ruri-chans, but also because he loves you

• He greets you with a hug, every time. Nights that you were especially fed up you’d collapse in his arms, crying or yelling or anything to just get the frustration out

• He holds you close and once you get it all out he whispers words of affirmation in your ear, always knowing exactly what to say to comfort you

Satan

• If anyone knows how to relax, it’s Satan

• So whenever you need to cool down you head to your favorite brother’s room (or the library. usually the library.) to seek refuge from your work

• The two of you are like soulmates, so whenever he sees you he can instantly tell how you’re feeling and what you need

• And no matter what it was, a hug or space to just be alone or literally anything, this man will get it for you

• He helps you study a lot too, the two of you worked well together so having him quiz you or help you come up with ways to remember things always made you feel more confident about what you were learning

Asmodeus

• Will draw you a warm bath whenever you’re too overworked, filling it with soap of your favorite scent and lighting a few candles for around the tub

• He gives you space if you need it, but if you want to keep studying from the comfort of the bath he’ll help you

• Unless he notices that you’re too overwhelmed and working yourself past exhaustion. Then, he bans you from studying while you’re together (which he promises won’t be long, but he always makes sure it’s long enough for you to rest)

• Pulls out all the stops to make you feel the comfort you need and deserve, even giving you a gentle scalp massage as you fight off falling asleep in the tub

Beelzebub

• Food is the way to his heart, but he understands that isn’t the same for everyone

• So he takes time to learn about what things make you happy, what things to avoid, and more

• When you drag yourself to his room late at night, exhausted from studying late and crawl under the covers with him, he knows what will help you

• He kisses the back of your head while pulling your body softly against his, and hums one of your favorite songs from the human world until you’re asleep

• You wake up the next day together, and he treats you to whatever you want for breakfast, making sure you eat enough to fuel your body for the day

Belphegor

• Knows the power of a nap better than anyone

• So when your head is falling over your textbook, he doesn’t hesitate to pick you up and carry you to bed

• “Belphie! No, I need to study. I’m good I promise” you reassure him, but the yawn that follows instantly negates everything you’d said

• “Sure, MC. Then for me, let’s nap together. It’ll be so nice” he lays you in bed and cuddles you, “all warm and comfy in bed, how can you not love this” but you can’t even respond because you’re already asleep

Diavolo

• mfer would just excuse you from the class /hj

• But if he couldn’t, he’d take you to his office and pamper you with anything you wanted

• Or if you just wanted to collapse in his bed and sleep for more hours than he thought was possible for a human to sleep, he’d absolutely let you

• Anything at all for his favorite human

Barbatos

• Knows how to comfort Diavolo, but when it comes to humans at first he doesn’t know what to do

• So you tell him what you need when you’re drained, and he remembers

• You knock on his door late one night, mid-yawn as he opens the door

• He wraps your tired body in a warm blanket, fresh from the dryer, and pulls up your comfort show. He turns on your favorite episode and snuggles next to you on the couch

• “Let me know if you need anything, MC. I’m here”

• “Thank you, Barbatos”

Solomon

• Like Levi, he’s an amazing listener. So whenever you need him to be there, he’s listening actively and making sure you know your frustrations are heard

• But he’s also good with distracting you from your studies, so sometimes you take a break to watch a movie the two of you had been meaning to watch for a while, or get lunch somewhere

• You get to pick, unless you want him to, and no matter what you do he makes sure you completely forget about the books waiting for you back home

• Lets you sleep in his room whenever you want, and most exam weeks you basically move into his room. It’s a win win situation, he gets to spend time with you and make sure you’re giving your body what it needs, and you get a home away from home to study in (and the company of your favorite human)

Simeon

• When you need a break from your studies, Simeon will read you a bit from whatever writing he’s working on

• His voice is possibly the most comforting thing in the world to you, and hearing him tell stories he’s written just for you gives you a sense of comfort that could cure anything

• If not that, then the two of you hop in bed and turn on whatever you want to watch to take your mind off your studies

• But your favorite thing to do was to tackle him into bed and cuddle, tangled together and just talking about anything and everything that wasn’t school

Luke

• You bake something together or go to the park, or anything really

• As long as it’s fun and lighthearted, and with Luke, you know he’ll bring a smile to your face and help you forget about your stress for a bit

--------------------

A/N: Thank you for sending this in anon, and dw abt ranting <3 If you ever need to get it all out feel free to send me a message or anon ask and I’ll just delete it or whatever you’d prefer. I’ve been super drained recently as well so writing this was really therapeutic :’) I hope you’re having a good day so far and that this helps you feel better

Also sorry if some of these were shorter than others, I too am struggling with burnout

[kasienda]

The Five Minute Adventures of Snake Noir: Ch 6 - Miraculous Abuse

Chapter 1: I Want It To Be You

Chapter 2: Best Friends

Chapter 3: Best Laid Plans

Chapter 4: A Thank You

Chapter 5: Unwanted Revelations

Chapter 6: Miraculous Abuse

If Adrien had avoided using the snake before, he now was operating on the other extreme. Ladybug had told him to abuse it, and he’s not sure she would have meant it quite so literally, but well… he and Nino had come up with a list. 

It had started with his homework. If he could finish his homework in far less time, he’d  have more time to visit Nino and Marinette. Not that it took a lot of time to visit Marinette as it was usually a loop, so even if he spent hours with her, it never took longer than ten minutes as far as the rest of the world was concerned. 

He unfortunately couldn’t do all of his homework in a time loop because that would leave whatever he had completed in the last five minutes erased. But he could do all the reading, researching, planning, and studying in a loop. Anything that didn’t require him to write anything down. 

Nathalie had only walked on him transformed once. 

“Yes, Nathalie?” he had asked, without looking up from his textbook. He hadn’t even thought about it. 

She stood stock still and was dead silent. He glanced towards her with a frown - her eyes were comically wide, but that was the only sign that she was shocked. He glanced down, and remembered he was transformed at Aspik. 

Read on Ao3

“Oh shit!” 

But it had been easy enough to fix. He just reset, destranformed, waited for Nathalie to come in and deliver his schedule changes for the week and leave, and then he transformed again. 

And then Nino had realized if he could pack all of his studying into the space of five minutes, Adrien could surely squeeze in some well deserved leisure time as well. 

It only took 71 loops to read a hundred thousand words, and Adrien had long ago discovered the joys of fanfiction, but he had never really had time to read more than a bit here or there. Now? With unlimited time and an entire endless library of things to read based on his favorite games and anime? Let’s just say his current power set brought a whole new meaning to the phrase, “Just One More Chapter.” 

And a season of anime was only 119 loops. Hell, he had gotten through all 981 episodes of One Piece in 4532 loops, which was still nothing compared to his time as Aspik, and honestly, far less traumatizing. 

He had felt slightly guilty about it. He was literally using the powers of time travel to watch anime. 

But when he mentioned it to Nino, his friend had just rolled his eyes. “Dude! You’re thinking about this all wrong. You’re a hero and we need you to be okay. This is about avoiding burnout as much as it is about having a good time. It’s so you get enough of a break and enough sleep to be a competent hero that we all need!”

But eventually the stories and shows hadn’t been enough to hold his attention. And he took another of Nino’s ideas and started paying visits to several of his friends. 

He had gone to Kagami first. He had no expectations of healing things with her, but he had always wanted to be able to explain so that his apologies might mean something.

“Chat Noir? Is there an akuma?” she asked by way of greeting. 

He rubbed the back of his neck. 

“Ah, no. I wanted to talk to you about something, but I also have to erase your memory after the fact to protect identities. Are you okay with that?”

Her eyebrows rose in surprise. “You have piqued my curiosity. You may proceed.” 

He nodded. He had already activated his power before he had landed in her bedroom that was definitely as lavish as his own if not quite as spacious. 

“So… more than anything I wanted to apologize to you?”

She frowned. “I’m unaware of anything that you have done that would require an apology.”

“Kagami, I’m Adrien.”

Her eyes went wide for a second. “Ah, I see.” Then, she nodded. 

“That’s it?” 

“No, it makes a lot of sense.” And then she did something he never would have expected. She smiled. And most of his tension released. 

“I just wanted to explain now that I had the ability to. That I wasn’t ever lying to you or running from our dates because I wanted to.” 

“You had to sacrifice your own desires for a higher calling.”

“Yeah, that’s it exactly.”

She smiled at him again. “I appreciate you coming to explain and I understand completely why I can’t remember. May I ask you a question?” 

“Of course!” 

“Were you never in love with Marinette?”

“Well, I… uh… it was hard to see Marinette when I was completely enamored with Ladybug, but…”

She shook her head. “Are you in love with both of them now?” 

“I mean, sortve?” He knew Kagami hated when he ended every sentence as if it was a question. “They’re the same person.”

Kagami sighed. “How disappointing.” 

“Disappointing?! She’s amazing!” 

“I know, but if she’s Ladybug and you’re Chat Noir, I have never had a chance with either of you.” 

He felt like he had been thrown off a cliff. “What? You had feelings for Marinette?” 

She grinned. “Well, she is amazing, as you always say. At least I know that I have really good taste.”

“Well, I’m sorry to have ruined all your prospects.” 

“I will survive. Neither of you define me as a person.” 

“You’re pretty amazing, too, you know,” he told her sincerely. 

She nodded. “You honor me.” 

He laughed. “Kagami, please don’t get all formal on me. I’m still just me.” 

“Well, I hope you know that I appreciate all that you and Ladybug do for the city,” Kagami told him, ignoring his request.

“Thank you, Kagami. That means a lot coming from you.” 

She nodded in acknowledgment and he knew he was being dismissed, and then he slid the switch on his bracelet and he was on the roof of her family’s manor once again his heart a little lighter.

He had gone to Alya after that. He had been nervous since she was the one who tended to push him aside as Chat Noir. But his fears proved to be completely unfounded as for the most part she could never stop laughing whenever he revealed himself.

“Wait! You’re Adrien?!”

She burst into cackles immediately. 

“Why is that so funny?!” He has demanded the first time. 

She had just grinned, shaking her head and still chuckling. “I wish I could explain it to you, sunshine.” 

“I already know Marinette is Ladybug,” he said.

“Oh good! Then I don’t have to be panicked about accidentally slipping!” And she went back to rolling on the floor laughing. 

“You wouldn’t happen to already know Marinette’s other secret would you?” she asked.

His eyebrows scrunched together under his mask. “Umm… that she’s in love with me as Adrien?” 

Her face lit up. “Oh see!! You do get it!” 

He shook his head. “I do not get it.” 

“The two of you managed to get yourself in a love square. You’ve been chasing each other around like two cute little hamsters in hamster balls.” 

He sighed, far less amused than Alya at the current state of his Marinette’s relationship. “I’m really glad someone is getting some joy out of this.” 

“Hey!” she objected. “I’m only going to know this for another three minutes! Let me have my fun!”

He held up his hands in surrender, and he was smiling in spite of himself. Maybe some time in the future, after he and Marinette could be together, it would be funny to him, too.

“God! This is why it feels like I’m third-wheeling during akuma fights,” she exclaimed.

“You feel like a third wheel?!” he repeated in disbelief. “Have you seen the chaotic energy that is you and Marinette coming up with a plan together? I am definitely the third wheel in that situation.”

And then she was cackling again. “I’m sorry,” she wheezed. “Nino says I can be a bit of a bulldozer when I’m trying to find a solution to something.” 

“That’s putting it mildly,” he said dryly.

All the mirth fled her face and she looked at him in concern. “Hey, you okay?”

He nodded. “It’s not like I’m allowed to be anything else.” 

“No, don’t say that! You’re allowed to be upset with me! I deserve it sometimes.”

He shook his head. “I’m never going to hold your ability to defeat an akuma against you. I just… have felt a little unneeded lately,” he admitted.

She stared at him for a second and then she burst into laughter again. 

And despite still not getting it, he found himself chuckling, too. Her laughter was just that infectious. “Why do you find this so funny?” he asked. 

“Because you’re a literal superhero and a model with more money than god, and a heart of absolute gold. You work with her as Ladybug so well I have to deal with crazy conspiracy theorists on the Ladyblog  who think the two of you must be telepathic aliens!” 

“What? People don’t think that.” 

“They do! And it’s annoying. But my point is you’re the real deal, Agreste, and she’s crazy about you, and you know it, and yet you still manage to doubt yourself.” 

“I’m glad my struggles and hang ups are so amusing to you,” he said with a pout. 

She sat up and fist bumped his shoulder. “Aww! Sunshine! I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant, your insecurity makes you seem sweeter and cuter. And it makes you seem more human. I don’t mean to mock you in any way.”

He searched her face and only found open sincerity.

“Thanks, Alya.” 

“So, does she know that you know?” 

“I mean, she doesn’t right now. But I’ve told her. Many many times, but it was just like this and she doesn’t remember.” 

She softened. “That sounds difficult.” 

“It’s apparently better than the alternative,” he said, going for nonchalance, but he didn’t fool her if her scooching to sit right next to him was anything to go by.  

“I wish we could all fix it for you, Adrien.” 

“Yeah, me too.” 

“How are you?” 

He shrugged. “I’m okay at the moment. Some days are worse than others. Nino… Nino has been a godsend.” 

She smiled. “He is pretty amazing. He knows outside of a loop?” 

“He does.” 

“I’m glad you have that, Adrien. Marinette was falling apart at the seams before she told me.” 

“Does he know about Marinette?” Adrien asked. Sometimes, it seemed like Nino knew more than he was letting on. But maybe his friend was just really respectful of secrets and didn’t ask questions.

“Not from me! And he hasn’t told me about you being Chat Noir either.” 

Adrien glanced toward the window. 

“Does it bother you that there are secrets between the two of you?” he finally asked.

“No, not these ones. They’re not our secrets. They’re yours, and they’re Marinette’s, so they’re not ours to share.”

“I'm jealous,” he admitted.

She offered him a sympathetic smile. “Someday, you won’t have to be anymore.”

The Snake beeped it’s first warning. “Time’s just about up.”

She offered him a fist bump and then a hug. He reciprocated both. “I’m glad you stopped by, Sunshine. You’re always welcome any time you think my particular brand of company is something that would help you.” 

He grinned. “Thank you, Alya.” 

“I look forward to the day when all four of us can just be open about everything,” she said. 

He snorted. “You and me both.” 

His went to his bodyguard next. 

“I just wanted to apologize to you for always running off. I don’t mean to make your job harder or get you into trouble. I am literally running away to save the city.”

His bodyguard didn’t say anything. He never said anything. He had just let out a resigned sigh and then patted Adrien’s shoulder. 

Adrien took that as forgiveness and reset the loop. There was no sense in sitting there in awkward silence for another four and a half minutes. 

When he had told Nathalie one afternoon at her desk outside her office, she looked horrified - frozen as still as a statue trapped in Medusa’s gaze. 

“Nathalie?” 

“I… all this time?” she whispered.

“Yeah. I know it’s a lot. I know it causes you a bit of grief when I disappear.” 

She waved away his concern. “Right now, we’re in some kind of time loop and I won’t remember?” 

“But you will,” she said. It wasn’t a question.

“Yes,” he confirmed anyway. 

“Adrien, I need you to listen to me.”

He nodded. 

“I can never find out. Your father can’t either. If you need something because you’re hurt or cornered, or…” she trailed off.

Was she crying? 

She cleared her throat. 

“Go to your friends. Their parents. Just… not your father, okay? Or me, because I’d have to inform him.”

His brows furrowed together in confusion. “Okay?” It wasn’t hard to to agree despite how weird she was being. He knew Paris needed him and he also knew that his father would never let him continue. Especially if he was seeking help due to an injury or something.

That’s what Nathalie was referring to, right? 

She patted him on the shoulder. It was even more awkward than when his bodyguard had done it. 

“Adrien, you’re quite impressive as a hero.” 

“Thank you,” he said with a smile.

And then there was Marinette. He had learned that it was impossible to tell her he was Adrien without making her cry, which was frustrating because she was also so much more open and affectionate once she knew. 

“How do I get you to not breakdown when I tell you this?” he asked her seriously.

She laughed through her tears. “I’m sorry, kitty. I have no idea. It’s just… it’s not fair.” 

He smiled. “That’s what Ladybug always says,” he told her casually. She didn’t know that he knew this go around.

“She’s right! You deserve so much, and life… it’s not fair!”

He turned to her seriously. “I don’t need life to be fair, Mari. I just… don’t want to have to wear a mask all the time.” And then he smiled. “I’m glad that you’re okay with me doing this.” 

She nodded tearfully. “Anytime, Kitty. Anytime.”  

Then during a regular patrol at one point. He had just realized he wanted to make her laugh. So he spent another few hundred loops figuring out which jokes made her laugh the hardest and which ones were absolute duds. Then, on a day when she was having a hard time, he showed up on her balcony and gave her the best one hour comedy of her life. 

Her unrestrained laughter was so explosive she had literally fallen out of her chair. Totally worth it. 

“Thank you, kitty,” she said wiping the tears induced by her laughter. “You have no idea how much I needed this.” 

He hadn’t argued. “Of course, princess. I am always at your service!”

Then, he started working on the perfect confession. He was trying to see if he could get her to kiss him as Chat Noir without revealing his identity because, you know, that always made her cry. 

“Can I use the snake to ask you a very important question?” He has asked Ladybug on patrol. 

She nodded, and he activated it. 

“What do you think it would take to get you to kiss me?” 

She laughed. “Are you serious right now? That is your very important question?” 

“It is,” he nodded, but offered her a huge grin so she could take it as a joke if she wanted.

“Why? You haven’t been able to be successful yet?” she teased.

“Oh no! I’ve been super successful. All I really have to do is tell you my name.”

She scoffed.

“No, I’m serious!” he boasted with a huge grin splitting his face knowing she only half believed him.

“So, why don’t you just do that?” she asked seriously. 

“Because you always cry! And I don’t want to kiss away your tears. I want to make you smile.” 

She got quiet. “You know, we can’t be together right?” 

“Yeah Marinette,” he whispered. “I know that really well.”

 It was silent.

“How long have you known?” she asked softly.

He had no idea how to answer that question. Because time was now very weird for him. In one sense he had only known for a few weeks, on the other he had literally spent so much time in loops that it had to have been at least twice that at this point. Maybe more.

“A while,” he said. “But we’ve already talked about that to death. I’d much rather figure out how to get you to fall desperately in love with this half of me.” 

She raised her eyebrows. “You want me to fall desperately in love with you in five minutes?” 

He shrugged. “We have a solid foundation of trust and friendship. I’m not starting from nothing. Plus, I’ve fallen in love in less than five minutes before.” With her. He didn’t think he needed to say that though.  

She actually smiled. “Yeah, I’ve fallen in love pretty fast before, too.” 

And it occurred to him that he had no idea what had made her fall in love with Adrien. He probably could ask her, but that was one more memory that he wanted her to remember having told him. 

He could probably just show up on her balcony as regular old Chat Noir and just say something like, “So, Adrien Agreste, huh?” She’d probably tell him, and she’d even remember it. But she wouldn’t know that it was him she was telling. 

How the hell had his life gotten so complicated? 

“There’s no way I would start crying just from knowing your name though,” she said. “You have to be making that up.”

He just turned to her and raised his eyebrows. 

The expression probably didn’t work as well with his transformation covering them. 

But she still hesitated. “There’s no way!” she exclaimed, but then she got a thoughtful look in her eyes. “Unless…” 

And then her eyes started welling with tears.

And he almost laughed. But he managed to hold it back.

“Oh, come here, bug,” he said instead, grabbing her by the waist and pulling her to him. And he just held her as she shook silently. 

“It’s not fair,” she whispered. 

“I know,” he said, and then kissed the top of her head. “I know.”

“Do you see my problem now?” he said after another pause. 

And she laughed through her tears, which had been his intention, and he smiled.

She pulled away. “I’ve thought about it before, you know.”

“Thought about what?”

“Letting myself fall for Chat Noir?”

He hugged her tighter. “Yeah?” 

“It never seemed like it would be that hard. I think if it hadn’t been for Chat Blanc, it would have happened after New York.”

He laughed. “Really? New York was when I thought maybe I should ask out Marinette.” 

She looked up at him in horror. “Oh my god! We’re just perpetually screwed, aren’t we? We’re just going to keep missing each other over and over!”

He kissed her hand. “No m’lady,” he assured. “That can’t happen because now I know, and I can’t forget.” 

And then she was crying again, harder. “I don’t want to forget either.”

“I know,” he told her, kissing her hand again. “I promise it won’t be forever.” 

“I love you, Adrien.” 

“I love you, too.”

And that time, of the two of them, it was he who was stronger and able to slide his fingers across the reset. 

And he might have stayed in that loop far longer than he should have trying to figure out the way to the heart he had apparently already won.

He learned that she did enjoy his flirting whatever she said to the contrary, but the moments where he was vulnerable and genuine were the ones that seemed to move her the most.

But none of it was quite enough. If he wanted a kiss, he always had to tell her his name. 

But despite his failure, pulling himself out of that loop was the hardest thing he had ever done.

And that’s how he knew he was in trouble. 

… 

“Nino, you have to take this away from me,” Adrien said, holding out the snake miraculous. He had just arrived and released both his transformations. 

Nino took it, his eyebrows pinched together. “What? Why?” 

“Because I’m scared I’m going to go into a loop and I’m never going to come out of it.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Look! Being here with you, with you knowing everything, is amazing. It’s the only time I feel like myself, unless,” he held up the bracelet, “I’m using this and… it’s getting harder to pull myself out of the loops.” 

“Your visits to Ladybug?” 

“Yeah,” Adrien admitted. “She told me to go every single day so I would remember what it was like to be loved,” he paused for a second, trying to swallow the sudden lump in his throat. “The problem is I really really like being loved.” 

And then he couldn’t hold the tears back anymore. 

Nino pulled him by the arm down to the ground and sat right next to him shoulder to shoulder.

Adrien buried his face in his hands. 

“For the record, dude,” Nino whispered. “You are loved even outside a loop with Ladybug.” 

Adrien threw his arms around Nino. “I honestly don’t know why you put up with me at this point. I feel like you have to put up with a lot.”

Nino grinned. “Hey! I happen to like hanging out with you! This shift has been awesome because I get to see you way more often.” 

“And I’m not like messing up date night with Alya or anything, am I?” 

“Nah!” Nino waves away his concern. “Alya and I hangout in the mornings and during lunch. Lately Marinette has monopolized her evenings.” 

Adrien managed to keep a straight face at that. “If you and her ever do need a day away from the children, I’m sure Marinette and I can figure out a way to take care of ourselves for a day.” 

Nino burst out laughing. 

“What?! I’m a big boy and Marientte’s a big girl. We can take care of ourselves.” 

Nino just shook his head, still snickering. 

“Maybe all four of us could do something some time,” Nino suggested, his eyes sparkling.

Adrien narrowed his eyes. Did Nino know? He knew he couldn’t ask without giving it away, and he had just handed over the snake. 

“That sounds really nice,” Adrien said, knowing he wouldn’t be able to handle going on a double date that he had to pretend wasn’t a double date. But someday. 

He wanted to cry again, but his eyes remained dry. 

“So, you just want me to keep it?” Nino asked, holding up the bracelet. “Should I hide it here in the room? Or wear it?” 

“Wear it,” Adrien said. That was the only way Nino would know where it was at all times. “But don’t use it. Not even for an akuma.”

He didn’t want Nino to ever experience a loop on the battlefield. Not if he could help it. 

“I reserve the right to come save your ass if necessary,” Nino said as he slipped the miraculous around his wrist. 

Adrien laughed. “Okay, but please don’t unless you absolutely have to. I don’t need Ladybug pissed at me for giving away a miraculous.” 

Nino frowned at him then. “Why are you giving this to me, instead of back to her?” 

Adrien’s answer to that was complicated. Partly because he didn’t want Marinette to know that his loops with her were hurting him even as they gave him hope, and he definitely didn’t want her to know that he had fallen to the point of being borderline addicted. 

But there was also a strategic element to his choice. He could approach Nino in either form, and Nino would know to trust him. 

“You know who I am,” Adrien finally said. 

“Will you be okay without it?” Nino asked.

Adrien shrugged. “I don’t know. But I’m definitely not okay with it right now.” He paused, then looked at Nino. “I might be texting and calling you a lot over the next few days.” 

Nino laughed. “I can’t promise to answer right away all the time, but you can always do that, man. Always.” 

Adrien let his head fall onto Nino’s shoulder. “Have I ever told you that you’re the absolute best?” 

“I could stand to hear it a few more times,” Nino said. 

Adrien grinned. “Noted.”

…

Chapter 7: The Five Minute Adventures of Ananta

[nyxdelanuit]

Don’t Hook Up With Your Friends (Sero x F!Reader)

Jealous!Bestfriend!Sero x F!Reader

Warnings: NSFW, Smut ahead~

To say you and Sero were close would be a bit of an understatement. The two of you debuted as sidekicks in the same agency and though you had picked different agencies as fully-fledged pro-heroes, Sero was never far from you. This had culminated into you being entwined with his group, affectionately called the ‘Bakusquad,’ despite Bakugou huffing every time they referred to it as such. Being so close to Sero and his friends had some interesting repercussions, such as Sero and Mina trying to hook you up to each and every one of their available classmates.

You should have been thankful, that was how you landed your job as a hero at Shouto’s agency. You were a nice counterpart to Shouto’s stoicism and the media ate up your hot and cold personalities. This also meant you were conned into a date with Kaminari, his usual flirty nature replaced by a bleating, nervous wreck, flowers and all. You had banned any and all blind dates after that. Kaminari could barely look you in the eye anymore.

 As close as you were to them, especially Sero, there was one secret you held close. One secret that meant no amount of hook-ups or blind dates would work. You were hopelessly in love with Sero. Every smile, every touch, every joke lit up your world. This was the reason you would never tell him. How could you risk losing that? There was a ridiculous level of burnout in the pro-hero scene, but one joke from Sero would pull you from the depths of your worst days. No, you were content being Sero’s friend. Perhaps even best friend.

 You truly shared everything with him, which was why you were spending one of your precious free Friday nights sprawled out on his couch complaining about your lack of a love life.

 “I just need a good fuck, Sero.” This fazed neither of you. With the introduction of Mina, you and Sero had learned the unadorned truth of each others preferences. From then on, it was less awkward to run with it than to avoid it. Now there was no filter to what you could talk to him about.

 Sero chuckled, waving his phone. “I still have a few friends we haven’t tried. I could make some calls?” His wide grin faltered as you threw a round pillow at his face. He caught it out of the air and glanced around it. “I know they’re called throw pillows, but I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to actually throw them.”

 You rolled your eyes, but the corners of your mouth still pulled up into a grin. “Sero! I said no more hooking me up with old classmates. You know that I’m already terribly in love with someone.” Yes, even this he knew. He heard how you pined for someone, he just didn’t know it was him. It was only fair, Sero often talked about his crush. Neither Sero nor you pushed for a name, knowing you would be pressured to reveal your own.

 “Don’t you think it’s time to move on?” Sero pouted. He knew you couldn’t resist when he gave you that face.

 “What about you? Are you moving on from your mystery girl?” You could tell by the way he averted his eyes that he wouldn’t- couldn’t move on. You tried in vain to push down the ache in your chest. As much as you wanted it to be you, even more so you wanted Sero to be happy.

 “This isn’t about me! This is about you pining after someone, who from your own admission is blind to your feelings. Who is, and I quote, ‘Never going to happen.’ At least I’m optimistic.” His grin returned, a little bit lopsided as his thoughts drifted to more romantic affairs.

 “It’s kind of hard to move on from someone I see damn near every day, Han.” His goofy grin intensified at your nickname, but you didn’t miss how he turned his phone back to his face. While he didn’t push for a name, he was adamant about trying to figure it out on his own. On his phone was a note listing all the little hints you never meant to give. With another bullet point, he jots down ‘sees often, every day?’ and closes the note.

 “Well, instead of sitting here like two lovesick teenagers, why don’t we get out and do something about it. Maybe a couple of drinks and some good music will make you more open to a good hook-up.” He shot you a wink, and you were glad you had such a resistance to his flirtations. Your heart picked up, but the heat didn’t stain your face. There was little resistance from you, anything to make it seem like you had a life.

  The sun had set long enough for a chill to set it, and you wrapped Sero’s arm closer around your shoulder. Despite his warning, you didn’t want to deal with keeping track of a jacket tonight. Not that he complained about you sapping his body heat. Luckily, you were able to slip into the cloying heat of the club soon after you arrived. You danced out of Sero’s grasp and to the bar, ordering for you and Sero right away.

 You sipped on your drink heavily, wanting the alcohol and music to course through your veins. Sero merely chuckled at you, dipping into his drink to match your pace. A few more drinks and you and Sero prowled the dance floor. For a while, you were content to dance against the twenty-something-year-old frat boys and hero-chasers. A few more drinks and you started to look with intent. Even with the haze of alcohol over your eyes, every dance partner fell short. Curse your standards and subpar sex life.

 You knew it was Sero from simply touch alone. It was as if the memory of his hands was seared into your body. You took no time to lean back against him, allowing the bass to drum through your body. You moved as if you were a thrall to the music, letting everything fall back except the noise and all the parts of Sero that pressed against you. His hands were fire on your hips, his face nestled into the crook of your neck. You allowed your hands to caress your sides as they slid up, barely ghosting your breasts. Your breath hitched at their passing, moving ever high to nestle into Sero’s hair.

 All at once, you notice his hard length against your ass. It was a wonder you hadn’t noticed sooner. Your body seemed to move of its own accord, spinning in his hold. Sero’s hand dipped from your waist to trail down your thigh and you threw it over his hip. The effect was immediate on Sero, grinding up against you. You threw your head back and barely registered Sero’s face following to trail his nose along your collarbone.

 You knew this was more than dancing as soon as you met his eyes. Half-lidded and blown out with lust, you never felt anything burn hotter in your core. You were unaware who leaned in, but your mouth was hot on his. It was nothing like you had imagined your first kiss with Sero, drunken and messy. Teeth hit teeth and lips, but neither of you shied away. As soon as you pulled back, Sero was dragging you from the club.

  The two of you laughed as you crashed into Sero’s house. The door clattered and then slammed as you moved your way in, never out of Sero’s grasp. Hands, lips, and teeth were everywhere. You couldn’t tell if your head was spinning from the drinks or the pleasure of Sero touching you like this. Everything was such a blur. You fell into his bed with him settling on top of you. This wasn’t a time for the slow, sensual love you’d like to give him. Not while he’s sucking a deep purple into your neck and the metallic clink of his belt rings in your ears.

 Your panties were slipped off and surrendered to a distant part of the room. You didn’t even get a good look at his dick before he ducked back to your lips. The desperate meeting of your mouths and the feeling of his hair running through your hands damn near distracted you from the prodding of his length at your heat. He swiped his cock through your slick, parting your lips as you bucked against him. His hand gripped your shoulder as he pressed into you with a groan. You winced at the stretch and your sober voice wondered softly if you should have prepared a bit more. That thought was quickly lost as the alcohol dimmed the pain. Sero’s soft murmurs into your hair and the shallow, slowly deepening thrusts grounded you as the stretch subsided. You felt his hips brush against yours after a few more thrusts, but you were too needy to listen to your body’s need to adjust. You rolled your hips against him and whined as your clit met the cool air and nothing else. It tempted you to flip Sero on to his back for the simple purpose of grinding the sensitive nub against him, but he quickly stopped those thoughts with a sharp thrust.

With how far gone you both were, there was no pacing. It was all or nothing, and the way Sero’s hips canted against yours, you couldn’t help but give him all you had. You arched you back as he gripped your hips and rutted into your heat. The sweat on you cooled on your skin in stark contrast to Sero’s smoldering heat. “Looks like drinks were enough to loosen you up for a hook-up.” Sero chuckled gruffly. Your heart sank to your stomach with his words. You felt sober all too suddenly as Sero groaned into your neck at his release.

   You awoke to the tinny chime of your phone the next morning. For what had transpired last night, your headache was relatively dull. You didn’t dare look back at Sero, his soft snores assuring you that your phone had yet to awaken him. You slipped out of his bed as smoothly as you could, hoping you pulled it off at least a little bit better than a newborn calf. Your phone was snatched out of your bag and muted as you padded into the attached bathroom.

 Shouto’s stoic face displayed on your screen as he called you again. “Shouto, it’s my day off, what do you want?” You usually had a bit more patience for these calls, but after the night you had, all you wanted to do was wallow at home by yourself.

 “It’s your day off of work, but you did say you would help me train today.” You could almost hear the gentle smirk in his voice. You sighed heavily, running a hand through your hair.

 “That’s right, sorry. I thought this was a work call. I… I’m gonna be a bit, but I’ll be there as soon as I can.” You winced as you felt the dried juices rub against your thighs. You hung up shortly after, assuring Shouto that you knew where to go. You peeked out the door, Sero turned toward you but still asleep. After a cursory glance, you gave up on trying to find your missing panties. It was just more time than you had to spare. You did stand for a minute, contemplating whether you should wake Sero. What would you say? ‘Thanks for the fuck, see ya around buddy?’ You didn’t have time to get into what it means for you. At this point, you just wished everything would go back to normal. No, you would pick the coward’s choice out and leave while he was asleep.

  If Shouto had noticed the change in your mood that day, he said nothing. Not like you expected him to, he was still emotionally constipated. Sero had gone back to the goofy friend you had grown to love after a day of silence, but now his antics hurt. It was like that night had never happened. While it ached, you thought it was for the best. You’d rather have him like this than not at all. So you followed his lead, responding to all the group chats and texts with your usual fervor, even if you couldn’t bring yourself to believe it.

 You had avoided him for a week and a half, something that was almost unheard of in your friendship. As much as you wanted to see him, you needed time to heal. Time to grieve. You were planning on holding out a little longer, but Sero’s reminder of your planned movie night ruined your plans. You couldn’t bail on him again without it becoming suspicious. The last thing you wanted to do was make him question your feelings.

 You found yourself at his door, allowing yourself a deep breath before you walked in. “Hey Han, I brought popcorn!” You cheerily yelled into the halls. You set down your bag of goodies on a counter as you walked further in. To your surprise, Sero was sat in the living room, his elbows braced on his thighs as he leaned his head into his hands.

 “Sero?” You questioned softly. He looked up to you, his eyes hard and angry. You weren’t used to seeing him angry at all, definitely not directed at you. “What’s wrong?”

 “What’s wrong?! What’s wrong… you mean besides you ignoring me for over a week! Pretending nothing happened? Leaving me in bed after we fucked to see another guy and not even having the balls to wake me up before you go?” You flinched at his tone, each word like a cut to an already aching heart. “If you thought we could just go back to the way we were, you were wrong.” You broke at that. Pride thrown aside, you launched yourself into his chest.

“Please no Han- Sero, please.” You let your tears fall, as unbidden as they were. You could feel the heat radiating from Sero’s hands as they hovered over your arms.

 “No, I can’t just go back to being your friend after this.” You jerked your head up to meet his eyes. His hands finally found purchase on your arms, nervously rubbing them up and down. “You can either go, leave now, or…” You shook your head before he stilled it with his hand. You couldn’t bear looking him in the eye, so you kept your eyes shut tight.

 “I can’t lose you.” It was merely a whisper, but it was soon swallowed by Sero’s lips crushing against yours. You were so startled by it that you didn’t think of reciprocating. He was steady as he walked you back to the wall. Being between him and the cold roughness of the wall made your head spin. You gripped his shirt, desperate to anchor yourself to something. His body was pressed against yours, and you wished this was happening in a better situation. If it was friends-with-benefits or nothing, you were sure you could get used to it. It would hurt, but not having him would hurt more.

 You gave in, letting his shirt drop from your hands in favor of winding them around his neck. The hot sting of tears burned in your eyes, but you kissed him like you wished you had earlier. Sero wasted no time in running his tongue against the seam of your lips. You opened easily to him, how could you not? It was sweet torture feeling his nose brush against yours as he tilted his head to slot against your mouth. You tried to ignore the feeling of a tear running down your face. Sero’s arms traced down your sides, sending a flutter through you when his hands met the bare skin of your stomach.

 You felt empty as Sero pulled away, straying only far enough to push your shirt up and off of your body. He quickly started his assault on your collarbone, suckling an ever-darkening spot on the fragile skin. He continued down to the valley of your breasts. You tried desperately to lose yourself in his actions, to enjoy what you had desired for so long. Your hands searched for him, tangling in his hair as he lavished the skin he could reach.

 You arched under his touch, inadvertently rubbing yourself softly against his leg. A gasp escaped your lips, causing Sero to look up at you. You tried to turn your face from him, hiding the wetness on your face but Sero knew you too well. His hands abandoned your sides, finding the swell of your cheeks. A rough thumb swiped at your tears as he kissed your cheek softly. His head bowed, once again nestled in the crook of your neck. You could feel the feather-light touch of his lips against your shoulder.

 “I know I make you feel good. I know I can make you happy, so why?” Sero’s voice was a soft whine, the brush of his breath sending shivers through your skin. “Please don’t cry.” His hands fell against the small of your back, bringing you ever closer to him. You cradled his head in your arms, urging your tears to dry. Sero’s tongue wet his lips, accidentally dragging against your sensitive skin. He watched the effect he had on your body, leaving soft kisses on your shoulder. “Just tell me who… I know I’m not the best hero and I know that my looks don’t stand up to some of my friends… but I know you. There’s nothing that you haven’t told me.” His hands traced light patterns on your back. “I know your favorite movies, your order at every restaurant in town. I even know what you want your future house to look like and how many kids you want. You’ve told me all of your fantasies, just like I’ve told you mine. We know each other more intimately than anyone else in the world… so how? Who took you from me?” A defeated chuckle sent hot breath cascading over your skin. “It’s Todoroki, isn’t it?” He finally pulled back to look you in the eyes. You couldn’t hide from him anymore.

 “It’s… you. Sero. Hanta, it’s always been you.” You were prepared for him to release you from his hold, but his arms tightened instead. The world seemed to be thrown out of balance as Sero hoisted you over his shoulder. He quickly made his way down the hall and into his room. You bounced softly as he laid you on his bed. Sero returned to ravishing your chest, arms straining against the plush of his mattress to remove your bra. You went to cover your chest, say something in protest, but you were swiftly reminded just how fast Sero had gotten. Before you could move, his tape had already circled your wrists, pinning them to his headboard. Your words died in your throat as you looked up at him, his eyes dark with want and an incomparable joy shining on his face. Sero stood, pulling off his shirt and pants as he grinned down at you.

 “So you’re telling me,” he leaned over you, placing ticklish pecks on your hips, “that for years, you have been telling me all these dirty things you want to do with this mystery man,” he paused, allowing himself to enjoy the way you squirmed against his ministrations. “How badly you wanted his touch,” he sucked a dark mark into your hip, “how you wanted to suck him dry.” He made quick work of your pants, slipping them off your legs and abandoned them to the floor. His fingers traced you through your panties, slick already coating them. “And you were talking about me?” He laid a kiss on your thigh as he moved down. “Dirty girl.” His fingers were already hooked around your panties, pulling them slowly down your hips before you found your voice.

 “Han, what… what about that girl that you like?” You were desperate to continue, but you needed to know. You watched him grin up at you from between your legs, biting your lip to contain the moan that the sight brought. Your panties were finally stripped from you and went the way of their predecessor, lost to Sero’s room. His fingers trailed up your thighs. “She’s amazing, but she’s oblivious as hell.” You tried to keep your head as his fingers trailed over your slit. “I thought I made my feelings clear over a week ago, but I guess it didn’t take.” You gasped, gripping the tape above your wrists as Sero softly pushed a finger into your warmth. “Lucky for me, I get another try.” It didn’t make sense, Sero knew how you felt now, and you knew Sero wouldn’t say things that would hurt you so badly. He ducked his head down, lapping at the excess wetness dripping from your core. You dropped your head to the pillows with a groan. “And she tastes so sweet.” It took a moment to register as Sero’s tongue circled your clit. Your head snapped up, desperate to see him. His eyes stared up at you hungrily as he lapped at you. Another finger entered you, curling and scissoring you open.

 “Ha-Han! Please tell me you’re saying what I think you are?” He wiped the slick from his face as he crawled up your body. His fingers pistoned inside you as his palm ground softly against your clit.

 “We’ve been pretty dumb, huh?” he peppered your face in sweet kisses. “I love you. Always have.” His last kiss pressed to your lips. Sero knelt, using his free hand to release you from the tape. You hands went to his hair, pulling him back into a messy kiss.

 “You are an asshole, Han.” You panted against his lips.

 “Your asshole, hopefully.” You swatted at his shoulder. Despite the remnants of tears glistening in your eyes, you smiled up at him.

 “You’re stuck with me now.”

 “Then let’s make it official.” He shucked his boxers in record time, removing his fingers only to glide your slick on his cock. You watched, enraptured, as he closed his eyes in bliss. His lip was worried between his teeth and you couldn’t resist tracing it with your fingers. You pulled his lip from his teeth before allowing yourself to trace down his body, following the lines of his lithe muscles. Sero rubbed his length against you, causing your breath to hitch every time it passed your oversensitive nub. Delicate nips and kisses were laid at your throat, traveling down your chest. Your arms grasped as Sero’s back as his lips brushed your nipple. His tongue traced idly around it, enjoying the way you tried to press yourself closer to his mouth. He obliged finally, sucking your nipple into his mouth softly. His tongue swirled around before releasing it with a satisfying pop. He quickly moved across your chest, repeating his movements as he ground himself against you.

 “Hanta, please,” You maneuvered your hand between the two of you, trying to line him up with your opening. He chucked against your chest, sending the vibrations rippling through you. Your hand was softly pulled from his length. He brought your wrist to his lips, laying a kiss over your pulse before placing your palm on his chest. Sero adjusted between your legs, gripping himself as he ran his head over your slick lips. He touched his forehead to yours, gazing into your eyes adoringly as he slowly pressed inside. The stretch felt heavenly. Sero claimed your lips, a passion you had hardly felt before radiating from every touch.

Sero thrust into you slowly, taking his time to bottom out. He stilled as he did, peppering your face with kisses before snaking his arms underneath you. His first few thrusts were shallow as he took his time to enjoy your heat wrapped around him. It was a stark comparison to your first encounter.

 He held you close to him, pressing kisses to every bit of skin he could reach. Each press of his lips was like a prayer, an apology for every day he made you wait, every time one of you had missed the obvious signs, every time something he said came out wrong. Your skin was begging to buzz from his affections. His fingers trailed up your shoulders, one hand cupping the back of your head as he focused on curve your jaw. He suckled a mark into the juncture of your neck causing you to buck into his lazy thrusts.

 After a moment of hesitation, he rocked to the side rolling you on top of him. His hands slid down your back, settling on your hips as he helped you keep pace. He stared up at you like a worshipper at an altar, reverence and awe written on his face. His lips were swollen from his affections. You couldn’t resist dipping down to run your tongue over his lip, drawing a moan from deep withing him. He bucked up into you harder, urging you to pick up the pace. Your hands settled on his stomach, trailing through the sparse hair leading to where you were connected. The feeling of his hands pulling you down against him was a sweet torture, almost saccharine. Each time he brought you down on himself, you ground against him, pulling gasps and moans from the both of you. Your lewd duet only served to drive you higher, the sounds of your skin meeting his as your wetness pooled around you a lustful accompaniment. Your fingers stopped their roaming as you used your hands to help lift you higher, faster. You chased after your high, eyes locked onto your lover’s. His eyes were lidded and blown out as he panted underneath you. His dull nails desperately tried to find purchase in your hips, pulling you harder against him as he bucked into you.

 Your moans only grew louder the harder he pushed. Sero seemed reluctant to move his hands from your hips, but the desperation of his face mirrored the quickening pace he set. His hand sent sparks through you as it dragged over your hip, settling on your oversensitive nub. He rubbed lazy circles against it, pulling broken moans from you. His touch was feather-light, causing you to grind even harder against him to gain friction.

 You knew he felt you clench again him as he groaned, his eyes fluttering behind his lids. His hips stuttered and you took control, not faltering in your pace until your crest washed over you. Sero couldn’t hold back any longer, the fluttering of your walls driving him to buck into you with a desperate fervor. It only drew out your ecstasy as he chased after you. His release pulsed inside of you soon after.

 You collapsed onto his chest, uncaring of the sweat that clung to the both of you. His forehead fell to yours, his breath hot against your face. You couldn’t bring yourself to care at the moment. You basked in the moment, pressing lingering kisses to his face as he did to you before. You would have been content to stay like this for a while, if not for the obnoxious sound of crunching popcorn from the doorway. Sero quickly pulled a sheet up over your bare form, slipping you to his side furthest from the door.

 “Oh, you don’t have to stop on my account.” Mina popped another handful of popcorn into her mouth. She leaned causally against the door frame, a wicked grin plastered on her face. “Just thought you guys might want a reminder that movie night is a group thing. That started like fifteen minutes ago.” Sero stood with a start, finally getting over the shock of Mina appearing in his doorway. You didn’t want to dwell on how long she had been standing there. Sero quickly wrapped a blanket around his waist, leaving the sheet to cover you. He nearly stumbled over the dragging fabric as he rushed Mina out of the door, slamming it behind her. Her boisterous chuckle was loud even with the barrier between you. “Maybe close the door next time?” She cheered.

 Sero turned back to you, an embarrassed grin on his face. “Well, I guess we better get dressed and get this over with.” He sighed, scratching at his face. You nodded, sitting up with the sheet pulled to your chest.

 “Hey Hanta?” You murmured.

 “Yeah?” He didn’t even look up as he scanned the room for his clothes.

 “If you liked me so much, why did you keep trying to set me up with your friends?”

 “First of all, I love you, not just like you,” he straightened to look you in the eye seriously, “and I just wanted you to be with someone who would be good to you.”

 “And you weren’t part of that list why?”

 He chuckled, “Doesn’t matter now.”

 “Oh, and why is that?” You asked coyly, unable to resist the usual banter.

 “Because I’m gonna marry the shit outta you.” His trademark grin was stretched across his face, warning your heart. Even with your fondness for him, you couldn’t let him get off with such a bold statement.

 “Why sir, we’re not even dating and you’re talking marriage?” You gasped dramatically into your hand.

 “Oh my apologies,” He threw the end of the blanket over his shoulder before dipping into a frivolous bow, “I would be forever grateful if my lady do me the honor of letting me court her.” His eyes twinkled in delight as he extended a hand to you. You accepted, holding the sheet to yourself as you returned an equally cheesy curtsy.

 “How could I turn down such a chivalrous request.” You fell into Sero’s hold as laughter bubbled up between you. The two of you broke apart to search for stray clothes. You grimaced as you held up your panties, drenched and cold. Sero must have seen the dismay on your face.

 “Catch.” He called from across the room. You barely caught a bundle of his clothes before glancing over to him in confusion. “Your shirt is in the living room,” he snickered, “and I figured you would be more comfortable in clean clothes.” Warmth bloomed in your chest at his thoughtfulness. You slipped on a pair of his boxers and shorts before slipping on an oversized tee. Sero tugged to you his side, tucking you under his arm. “You look good in my clothes.” He grinned against your hair.

 “I like being in your clothes.” You retorted, mirroring his grin. He ushered you out of the room, not bothering to pull away from you. Everyone had at least heard the two of you already, no point in pretending.

 The squad was gathered in the living room, and uncomfortable silence hanging over everyone except Mina, who twirled your shirt on her finger. Bakugou stared angrily out the window, but the tips of his ears were bright red. Kirishima was more upfront. His face practically glowed red.

 “Uh, good for you guys!” He choked out, thrusting out a thumbs up towards you and Sero.

 Oddly enough, Kaminari seemed the most put together. “So does this mean I don’t get a second date?”

[kazandthecrows]

All I’m Asking For Is A Day of Peace and Quiet

a/n: Hello everyone! I’ve been working on this for a while for @grishaversebigbang ! I hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I loved writing it :) I’ve had the pleasure of working with some insanely talented artists on this project and I hope that you love the final product! 

Beware spoilers for all the Grishaverse books! The first chapter is up and I’ll keep updating it over the next couple of days! 

Corporalki (my badass beta reader): @purns-art

Materialki (the coolest artists I know): @aureatepaper (art link)   @alittleartistic (art link)  @crownofnight (art link)    @nataliert (art link)

Summary: 

Nikolai just wants to find the perfect way to actually propose to Zoya, but literally everything gets in his way. When the long lost ring he’d been planning to propose with shows up in Ketterdam, he finds himself going on an adventure with Kaz and his crows.

Here’s the link to read it on Ao3: 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/33702874/chapters/83764771

Or read chapter one below: 

Chapter One 

“I don’t need to go on a vacation, Nikolai.” A stressed Zoya Nazyelensky exclaimed. Nikolai didn’t believe one word of that sentence. They were currently walking through the halls of the Grand Palace because the only way Nikolai could get a word in with her is if he met her in between going to one of her several meetings with diplomats, rulers of other nations, or anyone who needed to request time with the new Queen of Ravka.

Zoya wasn’t one to outwardly show her stress, but Nikolai knew that something was up. She looked immaculate. Her hair was perfectly done, she was dressed the part of a young Queen, her dark blue dress made her look as if she was wearing the night sky itself, and she carried herself with confidence and never let anyone see her falter. But Nikolai could often see what others couldn’t. The forced smiles, the way her shoulders fell a little whenever they were behind closed doors. The responsibility was weighing on her in the same ways that it weighed on him, and on this occasion, he was grateful for his experience as a royal so that he could help her through it as best he could.

“Yes, you really do.” He pushed. He had caught her in a rare moment of peace. She had just left a meeting with a number of Zemeni diplomats, and she was on her way to another meeting with some ambassadors from the Wandering Isle. He matched her pace easily, walking alongside her in hopes it would make her slow down a little.

“I can count the number of times I’ve spent time with you in the last two weeks on one hand, and 90 percent of those times you fell asleep.” Zoya stopped in her tracks, catching Nikolai off guard.

“That’s not true.” She said, crossing her arms in front of her.

“Think about it, Zoya.” He pressed. “You’re tired, stressed, and I can see the early stages of burnout starting to take over.”

“I’m fine, besides, I don’t have the time to take a break.”

“If you can’t take a few days off, how about an afternoon?” He asked. Zoya stayed silent, but if Nikolai could just have a few hours of her time, that would be enough. She sighed, nodding in acceptance.

“I’ll see what I can do about clearing tomorrow afternoon.” Nikolai could have exploded with joy. Progress, he thought.

“Perfect, meet me in the gardens tomorrow, then.” He moved towards her gently and pressed a feather-light kiss to her cheeks. When he pulled away, he swore he could see his former general blush.

“I’m looking forward to it.” She said quietly. Nikolai smiled fondly at her as they went their separate ways.

“Good luck with your meeting, my love, I hear the Kaelish ambassadors can be quite charismatic!”

----------

The garden of the Grand Palace had quickly become one of Nikolai’s favorite places. It was large enough that you could hide from anyone you were avoiding and quiet enough that it felt as if you weren’t in the palace anymore. It was an area of sanctuary, and Nikolai knew that Zoya would find it easier to relax here.

He’d set everything up perfectly. He had laid pillows and a picnic blanket down with snacks and tea in an alcove almost completely hidden by azalea bushes. He and Zoya had already come out here before, and he knew that it was unlikely they would be bothered here.

The sound of footsteps alerted him to her presence. His face lit up at the sight of her. Zoya’s hair was down from all the pins and ribbons she was wearing previously, and she had replaced her dress with a much more comfortable-looking white shirt and a pair of light brown trousers. Her small smile grew into a grin as she spotted him lying casually on the blanket.

“Goodness Nikolai, did you do this all yourself?”

“I had some help.” He said sheepishly.

“Well, I’m impressed.” He laughed as she lowered herself down onto the blanket. It had been an extremely busy few months, and he honestly couldn’t remember a time where they’d ever done this. All their time spent alone together felt so fleeting.

“Please tell me that nobody knows we’re here.”

“Just Genya, but only so she can keep everybody out.” Zoya said cheekily.

“Perfect.” Nikolai chuckled, moving closer to plant a gentle kiss on her lips. Zoya’s eyes drifted shut, savoring the moment.

“I really do think that we should take a few days off and go somewhere.” Nikolai said earnestly. They both deserved a few days with each other, that’s all he was asking for.

“Nikolai, I already told you, I don’t know if I have time.”

“You know, I find that one of the best things about ruling a country is being able to do as you please.” He poked fun at her, but he knew her reasoning.

“Where would we go?” She asked seriously. Nikolai was pleasantly surprised, this was the first time she’d actually expressed interest in going anywhere.

“There’s a cottage about halfway between Keramzin and Balakriev, it’s technically ours so we could go there whenever you wanted. It’s in the middle of nowhere, no one would bother us, and we could even pay a quick visit to Alina and Mal if you’d like.”

Curiosity filled Zoya’s features. It had been a while since they’d seen their friends. It would feel like a break if they went to visit them.

“We’d have plenty of time to ourselves, and then we can also see some friends. It’s a perfect mix of hiding from our responsibilities and socialising.”

“That would be really nice.” She said, but Nikolai could sense she wanted to say more.

“But?”

“But, it just doesn’t feel right to leave.”

“Sleep on it, Zoya.” He urged, “it won’t be for long, and you have a support system here who can help keep things running while we’re gone.”

She was silent for a moment, and Nikolai was hopeful that he had gotten through to her.

“Alright, let’s do it.” She said stubbornly. Nikolai felt like jumping for pure joy. Finally, he thought, he’d finally managed to do what others had thought impossible. He’d managed to convince Zoya Nazyalensky to go on holiday.

----------

Nikolai paced across his room, picking up different items and placing them into the assigned bags as Genya helped him organise. The two had almost everything ready. They crossed each other several times in comfortable silence, until Nikolai stopped and looked up.

“Genya.”

Genya continued to gather items, but turned her attention towards him slightly, to let him know that she was listening.

“Yes?”

“You wouldn’t happen to know of a sapphire ring that my mother used to own?”

She stopped what she was doing and looked at him, questions filling her eyes. That didn’t exactly give him much hope, considering he was the one with questions to ask her.

“She had a lot of jewelry, Nikolai.” Genya said pointedly. Her time spent working for the Queen had meant she knew the ins and outs of everything she did, and everything she wore.

“Yes, but it was a very sizable sapphire ring.”

“What would you need with a sapphire ring?” She asked. Nikolai looked at her for a few moments, saying nothing. It was enough for her to realise why he was being so insistent.

“Oh!” She exclaimed, dropping the folded shirt that she was holding.

“Yes, oh.” Nikolai said, falling dramatically into the chair at his desk, one arm draped across his forehead.

Genya grinned. “I bet you regret giving Alina the Lantsov emerald now.” Nikolai scowled at her, only encouraging her laughter.

“Alina deserved the emerald, and she had a better use for it than I ever did.” He sighed.

“I didn’t realise that things had been moving so quickly between you two.”

“The last few months have certainly helped us grow closer.” After Zoya had become Queen, Nikolai had done everything he could to make sure that she wasn’t struggling, and they had spent even more time than normal together. Truthfully, Nikolai missed it, but everything that had happened, from the Darkling’s return to Nikolai being able to control his demon and his General turning into a literal dragon. He knew he wanted her to be his Queen, but now that things had settled down he had never been more sure of anything; he wanted to propose to her.

“I’m so happy for you Nikolai, you both deserve the world.”

“She’s my world, and she’s far too good for me.” He spoke softly.

“You and I both you’re perfect for each other, and also, there were many Lantsov heirlooms, there are some that were bound to have gone missing.” Genya said.

Nikolai vaguely remembered talk of a sapphire ring he was hoping to find, but he’d only ever seen it once in a box on his mothers' vanity. Thinking back on it, it reminded him exactly of Zoya. The ring was a beautiful, vibrant dark blue, and it would suit her perfectly. The only problem was that he hadn’t seen it since he was a child, and anything could have happened to it.

“Whichever ring you’re talking about, I don’t think I’d seen it on her.” Genya said, giving him a sympathetic smile.

Nikolai racked his brain, trying to come up with places where it could have been. He began pacing again.

“It would have been the perfect item for someone to steal and sell on the black market, wouldn’t it?” He said.

“Sure, but it could be anywhere.”

Nikolai smiled, his plans slowly coming together.

“If there’s anyone that could locate a lost ring, it’s Kaz Brekker.” Genya sighed, her head falling into her hands.

“Zoya is going to be so happy once she finds out that you needed Kaz Brekker’s help to get her engagement ring.”

“I’ll send word to the Wraith, perhaps Captain Ghafa will be of help.”

Perhaps if Nikolai and Zoya were away long enough, he hoped she would fail to notice that he’d been looking for her engagement ring across Ravka and Ketterdam.

“I’m glad that you’re going on this trip, but have fun convincing Zoya to take a break.”

“Don’t worry, she’s going to love it.”

----------

“This is a terrible idea.” Zoya stated, watching Nikolai step into the small cottage. He looked back at her only to see an unimpressed scowl on her face.

“I happen to think that a little break away from all the duties and responsibilities of a Queen might be exactly what you need.” He said, grinning. Zoya wanted to smack that grin off of his face.

“I shouldn’t have said yes to this, you caught me in a moment of weakness.” She had been half asleep when he’d brought up the idea, and she’d only agreed to it because at the time nothing had sounded more appealing than some peace and quiet. But she was the Queen of Ravka, and there was too much to do.

“Zoya, please relax.” He smiled, resting his hands on her shoulders softly. “Genya has everything sorted and it’s only for a few days. She wouldn’t let anything bad happen while we’re gone.” He hoped that would be enough to assure her that everything would be alright and that after all they’d been through she deserved a few days of rest, but Zoya Nazyelensky and rest were two things that did not seem to go together.

Nikolai had brought them to a small cottage just outside of Os Alta. The last few months had taken a toll on them both. Zoya had been adjusting well to life as Queen of Ravka, but a break from them was long overdue. It was a beautiful day, the sun was shining, Zoya was scowling, and all was right in the world.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if we return and Genya is the new Queen of Ravka.” Zoya exclaimed, making Nikolai chuckle, his face suddenly turning serious.

“Yes, we should be afraid.” He said, and moved to put the bags they had brought into the living area. Nikolai thought it would be a good distraction for Genya to take over for a few days, they all needed some time to distract themselves. Zoya had barely had time to herself since becoming Queen, and more importantly, Nikolai had barely any time alone with Zoya. They never had enough time to relax with one another, so their trip was long overdue.

“Funnily enough, Genya actually helped me plan this.” He said, “So, the bedroom is to the left, the kitchen is through there, and the room you’re currently standing in is in the living room, although I can imagine you already came to that conclusion.” Zoya stared at him pointedly, still unconvinced.

“How can you be so relaxed about this?” She said as Nikolai sauntered towards her, and smiled softly. His fingers brushed her cheek softly as he glanced at her.

“Zoya,” he said in a hushed tone, “ you deserve to rest.” He cupped her cheek as she leaned into his touch.

“I’m well aware that resting is against every fiber of your being, but please try, for me?” The look Nikolai gave her made her want to melt into his arms and never leave them, so she nodded silently and sighed.

Although Zoya would never admit it, she was grateful to Nikolai for getting her away from the palace and taking a break for a little while. It had only been a day since they’d arrived, and they’d done nothing but eat, sleep, and lay in each other's arms and talk about the smallest things, from stories of both their childhoods, to Zoya’s upbringing in the little palace.

Zoya felt as though she could stay like this forever, covered in blankets, Nikolai’s arms wrapped around her. They had spent the whole morning like this, drifting in and out of sleep. Zoya glanced up at Nikolai to see his eyes were barely open, but he was looking at her. She smiled at him gently.

“You know, we might actually have to get out of bed eventually.” She said, bringing herself closer to him. Nikolai’s arms tightened around her, his thumb brushing her shoulder softly.

“Who says?” He mumbled, a content sigh leaving his lips.

“I say.” Zoya laughed. “The weather is beautiful outside, we should go and enjoy it while we can.”

Nikolai’s eyes widened at her request. “Well, it’s nice to see that your mood has improved since we arrived.”

“I have to admit, this is much better than having to rule a country.” Zoya said, leaning forward to press a soft kiss to Nikolai’s cheek. “But we should do something, or see something.” She insisted. Nikolai’s frowned, deep in thought. A thought came to Zoya’s mind, one that had even surprised her.

“We aren’t that far from Keramzin. How about we pay some old friends a visit?”

“You want to see Alina and Mal?” He said.

“At least this time it’ll finally be under better and brighter circumstances.”

The last time Zoya had been to visit Alina and Mal, she had brought the Darkling into their lives once again. Their appearance at her coronation was a welcome one, and while Alina and Zoya had their differences, the Darkling and the destruction of the Fold had changed them both.

“Alright, let’s go and see Alina and Mal.” Nikolai sighed, but only held onto Zoya tighter.

“Nikolai!”

“Just give me five more minutes.”

----------

The journey to Alina and Mal’s orphanage was short, and the fresh air and sunlight was welcome to Zoya, who was beginning to realise just how much she needed some time to do absolutely nothing but ride her horse and spend time with Nikolai. As they approached the orphanage, Zoya could make out a figure stepping out into the entrance. The figure stopped and waved a very Alina wave and shouted something inside. Momentarily, another figure trudged out the door. Mal.

Zoya could barely get off her horse before being enveloped into a tight hug. Alina was always more of a hugger than she was, but nevertheless, she found herself returning the embrace with the same fondness.

“Zoya, it’s so good to see you!” Alina said, her smile as bright as the sunlight she used to summon.

“It’s good to see you too, Alina.” Zoya returned the smile with her own, albeit a more reserved one. They turned to see Mal greeting Nikolai with a friendly grin and a handshake. Alina beamed at them and moved to take Zoya’s hands.

“I’m so glad that you decided to come and visit, it’s not often we get royalty for company.” Alina said, eliciting a laugh from Nikolai and Mal.

“I’m glad you still want me around, considering what happened the last time I visited.” Zoya said timidly, her mind wandering back to the Darkling.

“Firstly, it wasn’t your fault, and secondly, you’re always welcome here.” Alina said, her hands still grasping Zoya’s.

“Now, come inside, I even made tea for this.”

----------

Zoya and Nikolai had spent the entire afternoon catching up with Mal and Alina. It felt surreal, considering all that they had been through together over the past few years. They talked as if they were old friends who hadn’t destroyed the Fold, turned into a demon, lost all of their powers, or gained brand new ones.

Towards the end of the afternoon, when all the chatter had winded down and they’d caught up on each other's lives. Alina pulled Nikolai aside, asking for a few moments alone with him. Nikolai followed her out of the room and into the courtyard they entered a few hours prior. Once they were far enough away, Alina turned to him with an excited glint in her eyes.

“When are you going to do it?” She asked.

“Do what?”

“Propose! It’s about time, Nikolai.”

“Well, ideally I’d like to have a ring to propose with, and so far that’s not looking good.” Alina gave him a sympathetic look.

“You could propose holding a twig and she’d still say yes. It’s your fault you picked a long-lost ring.”

Nikolai and Alina and corresponded through letters in recent months, keeping each other updated on the happenings of Keramzin and the Grand Palace. He’d told her about the ring in case she’d be able to find any information, but they hadn’t had any luck.

“I’m well aware. Genya said she’d send word as soon as she hears something, and I still haven’t heard from my contacts, so if there’s nothing by the end of the month I’ll have to improvise.”

“You must really love her if you’re going to all these lengths to propose to her.”

“She deserves something fit for the Queen of Ravka.”

“Either way, she’ll be happy to marry you.”

----------

The next morning, the couple did not expect to find Tolya standing at the door, with a cloaked figure next to him. The figure lifted their hood, and the face of the Wraith became clear.

A very confused Zoya turned to Nikolai, wondering what the hell was going on.

“Captain Ghafa, to what do we owe the pleasure?” Nikolai asked. It had taken a considerable amount of effort to get in touch with her. As it turned out, the Wraith truly lived up to her name. She seemed to appear in the most random places. Nikolai had to request the help of allies in the Wandering Isle, Fjerda, and Novyi Zem to find her. Once he could contact her, he explained the situation and asked her to get into contact with anyone who might have had information on the whereabouts of the ring.

“I received your letters.”

“I must admit, I’m very surprised you’re here, you’re notoriously difficult to get a hold of.”

“I have a lead on the item you asked me to look for.”

Excitement coursed through Nikolai. Has she found it? Was this all coming together?

“And?” He asked eagerly, ignoring Zoya’s perplexed gaze.

“It’s in Ketterdam.”

[id-element0]

A Recap of Generation 1 - sort of

Now that we're done with the first generation, halfway through the second generation and peeking into the third generation, I'd like to put some thoughts and concepts together to make sense of it all. I realize that nobody cares about my ramblings in my own legacy and people avoid walls of text, so I will keep it hidden under ...

First, Random Legacy is one of the best challenges out there to spice up your game forcing you into things you normally wouldn't do. But I also play it as a continuation of Midnight Sun Challenge so heirs need to find their spouses from other worlds. Adding BACC into the mix, allows me to build the town slowly as I go, thus avoiding burnout from building.

Back to Roxie and her roll: All in all, I don't think Roxie was a bad mother. But she had to make some tough choices. Her commitment issues trait fit well into the single parent family structure. It was taxing to be a single mother of 3 but she never had any wish to have anything beyond casual dates, even with Lucas.

She also rolled 'Farmer' for career fitting her previous off-the-grid lifestyle in the island of Ö. This meant she had to give up a career in the music field, though. She held onto her guitar for a while until she didn't even have time for it eventually.

3 children for a single mother was not easy but what made it almost impossible was the generational goal of 'Perfect Children'. I'm just glad that she didn't roll 'No Strangers' as miscellaneous fun. 'Fashion Diva' was much easier with minimum effort.

Still, her restrictions started to take a toll on the quality of life. The dishses were piling up; the foul food was a thing for a while and in these conditions oldest children had to work to be able to pay the bills. Lucas was always in the picture, always a positive figure. He kept silently helping Roxie where she fell short.

But soon there was the talk in the town. Maybe the conditions for these children weren't that perfect. This was highlighted when Roxie took children to the park for the first time ever only to find out someone from Child Protection Services was snooping around. Roxie was quick to assess the situation and with a bold move she invited the social worker to Fendi's coming-of-age party.

Now, this is only Sims and we're into the make-believe. But I also know that it's quite difficult to prove child abuse in real life situations; especially when narc parents are involved since they know how to cover their tracks, continue the charade and make it look like the child is the problem. As I mentioned before, though, I don't think Roxie was a bad mother or a narcissist at all.

She was definitely strict, and a little bit inappropriate at times. She actually fits more with the stereotypical Asian parent, focused on the success of the children more than anything, with strict schedules; no time for games, displays of love or compliments.

The reaction of the children to the situation was vastly different. Gucci became closer to his aunt Shirley, and has always been a favourite to her. Prada found solace in having a working relationship with her birth father, Lucas. And Fendi, well, he was just rebellious. ;) We'll continue with the kids in the second gen recap.

That's it.

[gaymershigh]

Hi, can u write headcanons of Jamil, Azul, Cater, Rook and Idia discovering that their S/O (male) is their favorite singer/idol in a disguise? Sorry if it sounds too boring

Thanks and I love your blog <3333

It's not boring at all! I love this request so much 💗 the reader has to not be a different world like Yuu so it makes sense in context as to why they're popular in twisted wonderland, just to clear things up!

Also yes, I'm doing other requests before redoing that damned unfinished draft-

Jamil, Azul, Cater, Rook and Idia discovering their boyfriend is a popular idol

You want to tell him so bad but you just don't the guts to.

It's not like you don't trust Jamil or anything. It's just that Kalim's 99% always nearby him and try don't him to overhear your confession and cause a huge hassle.

But sometimes secrets are broken by itself. You can be your own secret breaker.

While you were listening to songs from the Land of Hot Sands that was recommended by Jamil, he was picking random songs from your country.

His eyes slightly widen when one of the songs he picked's singer sounds just like you but with a different name.

“He sounds just like you.” he stated and that made you panicked. That is one of your newer songs from a few weeks ago.

He got curious when your words started getting shaky and your face getting sweaty. This led him to researching your stage name, making you even more scared.

“He even looks like you too, could it be?.. ” if you kept lying, it will go into a dead end. The only thing to do it to spill the beans even if you don't want to.

Your hesitant nod was followed by silence and then a normal 'ok' from your lover like nothing was out of the ordinary. You were shocked.

In the inside however, he was different. He was baffled, these things only happen in fairytails!

He's not complaining though, he loves the feeling of being special.

Even if don't mind, he wouldn't be the type to be brag about your relationship together. Maybe with Kalim but other than that, nah.

“I see. Don't worry, ya amar, I'll keep this a secret. just the two of us only.”

How can you keep this secret away from him for that long? Colour me and him impressed.

Jamil is reasonable as to why he doesn't know about your secret identity because he doesn't keep up with the trends but Azul? He definitely spends more time on the internet than Jamil would ever.

But of course he would find out eventually. Of course, it's Azul.

You were giving him some song recommendations and avoiding your own so it wouldn't raise suspicion.

Unfortunately, you weren't fast enough as he realized you kept skipping a few songs right before the song hits the 3 second mark.

When he asked you why you kept skipping a few songs. You sweated and lied about the singer is not so good. You basically degraded yourself.

If course, it's not easy to fool your boyfriend. He snatched your phone away and looked at the current song you're about to skip.

He covered his mouth in shock. There was no doubt about it, that really is you. The voice, the looks, the stage name sounds like something you would name yourself, everything!

“Darling, why didn't you tell me? Do you not trust me?” You had to reassure him that was not the case and you just prefer not to get the attention and not make anyone annoy him about asking him questions about you.

You're just so special, aren't you? You're an idol beloved by everyone but you don't want the publicity and cause any problems, you're so sweet and precious.

He'll only brag occasionally. It's unprofessional for him to be cocky every single time of the day and he'll probably show off only to intentionally piss off someone.

“Darling, you shouldn't insult yourself! You're very good in singing and you amazingly breathtaking! So handsome.”

Seriously, how did you get away from him, Cater Diamond himself??

He's a social media God and even if he does suspects you several times, he's supposed to catch on sooner.

You have to admit, it was harder to hide away from him since he follows your account. Everytime he takes a selfie with the both of you, a lot of people comment asking him is that (stage name).

He would usually reply 'I wish lol but imagine if that happens 😳'. This makes you nervously laugh.

He always comments about how you always look like (S/N) all the time and you always nervously scratched your neck, feeling guilty.

He also joked about your voice being incredibly similar and how you could be the idol in disguise. My god you couldn't describe how much you want to run out of there as soon and possible.

You thought everything is going smoothly until the most dreadful statement came out of your boyfriend.

“(Y/N), do you want to go to (S/N)'S concert on Friday this week?” You had enough. You can't handle the torturous moments and can't keep up with the lies anymore. You have to tell him with a little twist to it. You said you were busy which means you have to keep denying your cute pouty sweetheart.

When you finally finished your concert, you called your boyfriend from the stage to go to the backstage. You can see the excitement in his eyes.

When you confessed that his statements about his number 1 favorite idol is also his boyfriend he's been dating for months, he went form speechless to hugging you tightly while screaming.

“Holy shit, I can't believe it, (Y/N)! I'm gonna tell everyone!” You sighed in relief as he reached out for his phone.

He's definitely gonna brag no matter what universe he's in. The publicity and increase amount of his followers in magicam is gonna be unbelievable. Just like Azul, he's gonna shove your relationship to everyone's face just to annoy them.

“(Y/N)-chan is so mean hiding such amazing secrets away from me, you're gonna pay the price~”

He's gonna be so surprised as to how you hide from him for more than 3 days. He's got good eyesight and very good at reading your heart.

You're sometimes we're scared that he caught on as he kept praising you like your fanbase would usually do. You never felt so relieved when you found out he's just like that.

He sometimes does comments how you look like your other side and how your voice sounds uncomfortably similar but that's just it.

It's a little bit easier to get away from him when it's about social media since he's not really the type to look to check social media daily.

He kept persistently asking you if that singer he adores so much was you, which you kept replying with of course, no.

But every single time you answered the same reply, your tone and confidence seems to be different, lowering down specifically. He probably already knew you are (S/N) now but he really wants you just give him a 'yes' instead of just believing in his own word.

While you were cuddling with him on his bed and about to fall asleep, you were playing a few songs as white noise to make you go to dreamland faster.

You didn't even realise your song was playing, your eyes were bleary and you could black out any moment.

Rook took the opportunity to asked you again if you were (S/N), he was both surprised and please when he finally got the answer he waited for.

With no hesitance, you said yes before drifting to sleep. He won this time, checkmate.

When you woke up, he told you about what happened last night with the usual smile while you're mouth was agape.

He might unintentionally brag by telling the whole campus how handsome you are, your angelic voice, how lovable and huggable your figure is, Vil is jealous.

“Mon trésor, there is no need to repent about your beauty, you are lovely in any shape of form, my sweet delicate dove~”

He adores your idol version of yourself and is probably the only real idol that he admires, the rest is probably his anime waifus or whatever.

Doesn't mean he doesn't love your backstage form too, he loves you too very much and thinks you're very handsome :)

It's just that your face reminds him of his favorite singer of all time. He's always making conspiracy theories about how you're (S/N)'s clone and you'll just laugh, knowing everything.

He once said that maybe you're an idol in secret, this made you sweat nervously as you shook it off.

Everytime he talks about your idol self to you, Ortho always asks if you're ok or not because you always felt a bit anxious and shaky as if you were about to get killed.

This made Idia raise suspicion. He wanted an answer as to why so he made up a plan.

He makes Ortho note your condition everytime he talks about (S/N).

His suspicions were right, you're always uncomfortable everytime he asks you if you're the idol version of yourself.

If he thinks he has enough tapes and audios of you literally shaking, he started negotiate you.

You had no escape as Ortho has trapped you in his room alone with your boyfriend. He kept taunting you with the same question 'are you (S/N)?' until you finally give in and told the truth.

Even though he got his victory, he still felt bad since you don't wanna talk to him for 3 days, causing him to cry like a baby.

He seriously can't believe it though, he just experienced something out of his mangas! He's beaming with joy.

He's only bragging on the internet only, there is no way he's gonna say anything in real life as you're wayyyy out of his league.

“You could have just told me, you know! I won't tell anyone if you're uncomfortable, I promise!”

You have no idea how much I loved writing this one but I got a creativity burnout when writing Idia lol~

-𝕸𝖎𝖗𝖎

[oohnoniall]

Hawk & Sparrow [Rowan Whitethorn x OC] - Chapter 3

WARNINGS; Fantasy violence, cursing, Mirima doesn’t have self-control and that leads to her burning out a Lot, Rowan avoiding his feelings, Mirima having no idea about her feelings, there’s a lot of feelings being avoided, power dynamics in the relationship.

Prologue.

Chapter 1 

Chapter 2

       Her body ached, her mind ached. While she had not done anything as horrible as burnout, Fenrys had put her through her paces. She had never known how hard just keeping her control could be. She had never realized just how badly she suffered from control issues. Rowan had told her time and time again that she needed to control herself. But she hadn't realized how hard it was actually going to be.

       She trudged into the kitchens, slumping onto a stool that sat just before the fire. Normally, Emrys sat there but he was at the countertop, forming some type of dough that had what appeared to be raisins in it.

       "Hard day?" The older man questioned, his eyebrow quirked up slightly.

       Mirima scowled slightly as she slipped a dagger from her belt and a whetstone from her pocket. "It didn't seem to be until this morning," she admitted as she dragged the blade along the stone.

       "Rowan goes easy on you," Emrys teased her, causing her scowl to deepen. "I haven't seen you this exhausted in twenty years."

       "I'm used to Rowan's tactics," she sat down the dagger once she was certain the point was sharp enough. She took care of her blades ritualistically most of the time. Sharpening the blades calmed her, oiling them helped ease her mind. Normally it was saved for a pre-bed ritual, but the night before she had crawled into her bed and fallen into a hard and heavy sleep. She hadn't dreamt. Instead, she had been blissfully at peace. For once in her life, she had not been aware of the dangers surrounding her. She had been aware of the pillow beneath her and the blanket on top of her.

       It had been peace she didn't know she craved.

       "Of course," Emrys' eyes twinkled as he looked away from her. Mirima knew he meant well. But it was hard to know that he was well aware that she cursed Whitethorn's name half the time and still assumed Rowan was kind to her.

       The man had made it abundantly clear that he didn't want her there. He had told her time and time again that she was not ready for any of this. Mirima wanted to prove him wrong. She wanted nothing more than to be welcomed into the cadre. Although, at this point, she was unsure if it was because of her own dreams or if it was just to spite Rowan Whitethorn. Anyone with half a brain would know that spiting him was unwise. The man was more of a monster than anything. It was one of the reasons that Mirima admired him.

       Even if she didn't admit that fact to anyone.

       "I am! He's been putting me through Hellas and back since I got here," she nearly snarled as she began to peel the potatoes for breakfast. She wasn't normally on breakfast duties, but she had figured it would be best to help out. At least while she was complaining to Emrys.

       "Have I?" His voice caused her spine to straighten, her grip on the dagger tightening just slightly. "Considering you're still here, I haven't done a good enough job."

       Mirima looked up then, her eyes catching Rowan's long white hair before anything else. Her throat felt dry, her stomach knotted up as she glanced once at the expression on his face. He looked as though he was either amused or furious. With Rowan, it was hard to tell the difference. Especially when it came to her and her training. She knew that he didn't want her there. She knew that he thought she wasn't good enough.

       That or he really hated the cadre. She couldn't actually tell.

       "I thought you'd be gone for a week," Mirima stated, her tone casual despite the racing of her heart. At least her training had taught her how to keep her composure.

       "I never said how long I'd be away," he stated as he leaned casually against the wall. Rowan never looked casual. Something was off. Mirima did not know what it was or what it potentially could be, but she was determined to figure it out. If she didn't it was likely to drive her mad.

       "You're normally away for a week," she shrugged her shoulders, turning her gaze back to the potato in her hand. She focused on how the skin felt gritty underneath her calloused fingers. She focused on the way the blade slid across the potato, the slight bit of force it took to begin the initial peeling process. How it felt to focus on something other than Rowan Whitethorn and the stare that always made her feel somewhat nervous. "I assumed that it would be the same."

       "We have something to discuss," Rowan said before she could ramble about his usual schedule. "In private."

       She knew his meaning. She wiped her dagger off on her breeches before she stood, sliding it back into its sheath in a graceful movement. "I'll be back by dinner. Tell Luca to stop taking the good jobs," she said cheerfully to Emrys. Neither man would be allowed to know how nervous she was.

       Rowan had met with Maeve. He had told her he would be. He had also said he'd be away three days but had barely been gone two. Maybe she had been declared unworthy. Maybe Maeve had given up on her. Or maybe it had nothing to do with that whatsoever. This could be something completely different, she just had to trust him.

       Easier said than done.

       Mirima followed Rowan up the steps and towards his quarters. She had been a fair amount of times. He would patch her up in his rooms, often snapping at her for whichever stupid choice she had made. She had been allowed to watch as he tattooed Gavriel once. She had been silent the entire time, her eyes never left his hands.

       His rooms were grander than anyone else's. She wondered if it was because he was a Prince or if it was all to do with the fact that he was part of the cadre. With his dark, wooden furniture and his grand fireplace, it felt cold. Uninviting. Rowan clearly hated Mistward. He had never made it into his home, unlike Mirima.

       She had turned the fortress into her own personal safe haven. She had spent so many years there that she would have gone mad if she had not. There was no reason for her to feel cold, alone. Not when the forests sang with the early morning sunlight. Not when she could smell the sea whenever a fresh breeze blew through the fort, always making her ache with need. The need to control it, to harness it. To be part of it. She knew there was a lake hidden somewhere nearby, she had been able to sense it from the moment she had stepped onto the grounds. Yet, she'd never had the time nor opportunity to go off and search for it.

       Rowan was not fond of letting Mirima near large bodies of water. He seemed to believe it would be the quickest route to a burnout. Mirima thought he was too cynical. The water was part of her. As much as the air was part of him.

       She stood in front of his desk while he took up space in front of the fireplace. The fire crackled, albeit not merrily, spreading slight warmth through the cold room.

       "What did you want to discuss?" Mirima's voice came out softer than she had expected it to. She hated sounding small around him. Hated that he might see her as someone meek, vulnerable. She knew that she was a warrior. Someone who would one day stand beside him in battle. She couldn't let him see her as anything else. It would risk the only future she could see for herself.

       "I didn't speak to Maeve about you," he didn't look at her as she spoke. Despite his words, she did not feel relieved. "I didn't have the opportunity to."

       "What happened, Ro?" Normally, he would have glared at the use of the familiarity. He would have told her how inappropriate it was. When he still didn't look at her she realized just how horrible things must be. Rowan never missed a chance to show his disapproval.

       "We'll have a visitor during our training sessions," the words seemed forced. She could practically taste the tension in the air.

       Mirima worried her lower lip as she took a cautious step toward him. "What do you mean? Is Fenrys going to stick around for a bit?"

       "No," his voice was clipped. At least that was normal. He wasn't dying or sick. Mirima hated to think that he would never get to see her successes. She didn't know why she wanted his approval, why she aimed to please him in some fashion. Maybe it was just because then she would know she had done it. She'd beaten the odds and become the member of the cadre she had always wanted to be.

       "Tell me," she rested her hand on his shoulder. He flinched away, causing her to drop her hand. It felt as though a shock had gone up her arm from the brief second her fingertips had brushed against his neck. But that was stupid. It was probably just her being far too familiar with her trainer.

       "Maeve wanted me to train another girl."

       "For the cadre?" Mirima's eyes grew hard as Rowan finally turned to face her. There was something in his eyes. Something that dulled the forest green to a grassy color. She wondered what that emotion was but found that she did not care. Anger coursed through her body. It burned too brightly and too quickly for her to care about whatever Rowan Whitethorn was feeling.

       "Hellas, Mirima, no," Rowan snapped at her. The anger that had flared so brightly quickly calmed. "I wouldn't train another damned soul for the position you want. You'd gut them than me. No, this is just a little demi-fae who never got control over their magic."

       "Who can't control their magic?" Mirima did not see the irony in her own question. She had always assumed her own control issues were rare. She had no idea where they stemmed from, just that no one else in her village had ever had trouble doing what they wanted with their magic. Neither had anyone else in Doranelle.

       "Someone who's afraid of it," Rowan stated bluntly.

       Mirima gave him a mock glare. She wasn't sure if he was completely wrong about that. It brought forth a question that she had never had to ask herself before. Was she frightened of her magic? Did she know what to do with it? She thought she did. She thought that it was as much a part of herself as breathing. But could there be something deeper? Rowan had never brought up this idea before. It was enough to temper her tongue, to make her sit and think for a moment.

       "I'm not afraid," she stated after thinking for a few moments. She didn't know if she was telling him the truth or not. But it felt like it. She felt as though she would know if she truly was afraid of the power that lived within her.

       "You're not afraid of anything," Rowan sounded as though this were not a compliment. "You'd sooner get yourself killed than listen to reason. That isn't bravery, Mirima. That's foolishness."

       His words stung her more than she cared to admit. Is that why he didn't want her fighting alongside him? He thought her nothing more than the village fool? Perhaps it made sense. Mirima had lived her entire life in the same small village. She had been stifled there but that didn't mean she had belonged elsewhere. Maybe she was just a foolish girl from Varnsway. Maybe that was all she would ever be.

       "Tell me about my new friend," she moved then, sitting on top of his desk as though it were her own. Rowan seemed not to notice, too lost in his thoughts as he stared at the mantle above the fireplace. "Will I have to play nicely?"

       "Maeve will kill you if you drown her," he said bluntly. "Besides, Terrasen would be left without a queen."

       That caught Mirima's attention. Her spine straightened, her eyes turning into the blue of a crystal sea. "So it's true then? Aelin did survive the massacre?"

       "It stays between the two of us," Rowan warned as he finally looked away from the mantle. Upon seeing her on the desk, one of his brows twitched slightly.

       "Why?" Even as she asked, she realized that it would be safer for the woman. "I mean, wouldn't she be better off with a guard surrounding her at all times? I'll volunteer for a shift."

       "Mirima," he snarled, causing a slight smile to cross her features. "She'd be in more danger if anyone knew. Adarlan is after her. If they manage to kill her, you know they'll have some advantage over Wendlyn. It'll break their spirits."

       "Which means we're next." One didn't have to be a military strategist to understand the risk the wrath of Adarlan. Mirima was not afraid of anything, Rowan had not been wrong about that, but the idea of bending the knee to the tyrant of Adarlan.

       "You'll help me train her. You know what it's like to be uncontrollable. Help her get used to life here," he looked older. His eyes darker than she had ever seen him, lines beside his eyes showing his half-century of life. She wanted to make things easier for him. She wanted to give him a moment's reprieve. But she couldn't. Mirima knew that they needed to keep some sort of wall between them.

       Even if she gave him nicknames.

       "Ro," she picked at her fingernails, "are you certain that's a good idea? I could drown her. Or you. Or I could accidentally kill her during swordplay or something."

       "I trust you."

       He'd never said that to her before. Rowan had never made her feel as though she could do anything she wanted. Half the time, he was trying to get her to abandon her dreams. Half the time, it felt as though he wished he could snap her neck and be done with her. Having his trust was something that she had never dreamed of. She had always thought that he would turn his back on her the second he was done training her.

       Maybe there was hope for them yet. Maybe Mirima would be able to prove herself to him through this whole damned thing. Or maybe it would just ruin whatever trust she had managed to build. Maybe she would never truly be able to live up to her expectations of herself. But that was okay. Rowan trusted her and that was all that mattered.

       At least for now. Mirima knew she still had a very long way to go when it came to proving herself.

       "So what's our plan?" She looked him in the eyes, ignoring the way her stomach knotted when the forest green met hers. It had happened every single time her eyes met his. Thirty years, thirty long years of feeling something odd whenever he looked at her. It was no wonder she tried to force that away, to tell him jokes when she shouldn't and to make light of things when she was terrified.

       "I don't know yet," Rowan admitted as he stepped over to her. His steps were light, never making a single sound. She wondered how often he had prowled around, silent and always listening. How many times had he caught her talking about him with Luca and Emrys? How often had he heard her curse his name?

       Despite both of them having the heightened senses of a Fae, Rowan had always been more of a predator. For years, he had been walking that line by himself. He had been alone with only the bloodlust and the killing that Maeve had made him do. Mirima saw it as glory, despite not knowing the truth of any of it. It was Rowan's business. She knew better than to ask him about any of it.

       She would take the stories told by others over the haunted look in his eyes whenever he pinned her any day. She didn't want to relive her own moments of glory. She supposed it would be the same for him.

       "Rowan Whitethorn not knowing something?" Mirima teased, a gleam in her eyes as she looked up at him. Her head tilted back, blonde locks cascading down her back in a waterfall while a playful smirk found a home upon her lips. "Now that is something I never thought I'd see."

       "When will you learn how to talk to a superior?" His brows furrowed slightly as he looked down at her. She had to ignore the overwhelming scent of pine and snow that clung to him.

       She hated that stupid scent. Hated how she dreamed of it at night, how she felt both enraged and comforted by it. None of it made sense to her. Nothing about Rowan Whitethorn would ever make sense to her. He was horrible and kind, the worst and the best. He was everything to her and nothing all at once.

       It was a miracle she had managed to keep his name out of her letters to her parents.

       "When will you learn that I'm not inferior to you?" Mirima turned her head away from him, wanting to break free from his gaze and that disgusting scent.

       "No one said you were," his fingers twitched. She wondered briefly if he wanted to run his fingers through his hair or strangle her. Either option seemed reasonable. "But you can't hope to make it any further if you don't listen to your commanding officer. They're not all as friendly as me."

       "Or Fenrys," Mirima interrupted.

       "I heard that he made you nearly flood our practice space," he snorted. "That doesn't seem as friendly."

       "So I'm not great at breathing exercises," she shrugged her shoulders. "I still managed to go without burning out." She was surprised that Fenrys had not told Rowan of her disappearing act. She would have been made to run laps until she vomited, would have been reprimanded hundreds of times had she done the same to Rowan. He would never have let her just walk away. Perhaps Fenrys had taken pity on her, perhaps he had seen something that Rowan did not.

       That or she had looked as though she were on the verge of burning out.

       "Don't joke about that," his voice hardened as he stared down at her. She looked back at him, hating the way he stared at her as though she was nothing more than a piece of glass. "Your burnouts are serious. If you die on my watch, I ..."

       Mirima didn't want to know what he would do. She didn't particularly care either.

       "I am not going to die, Rowan. I know myself better than any of you seem to realize," she crossed her arms in front of her chest, looking more like a petulant child than she realized.

       "You're not invincible, Mirima. You never will be," he told her, looking down at her with a gaze that she could not comprehend. Rowan Whitethorn gave her several incomprehensible looks. She often wondered if he hated her based on those looks, wondered if he even knew the fire that blazed in his forest.

       She doubted it. Rowan was too busy with his own problems to worry about how he looked at her. That wasn't something either of them thought about. It was always about training, always about Rowan teaching her everything she needed in order to be part of the cadre. Part of everything.

       "I'm capable though," she breathed softly, her voice barely a whisper. "I'll help you train her. Just ... Just don't let my training fall to the wayside. I expect to be in the cadre by the end of the year."

       Mirima shoved herself off of the desk, brushing against him as she did so. Rowan quickly backed away, his spine stiff and his gaze hardening to one she knew so well. She began to leave. Her gait smooth and steady unlike the pounding of her heart.

       "You'll never be ready," he called after her. "Lorcan would eat you alive just from your recklessness."

       "Then I guess you'll have to enjoy the show," Mirima stated without ever looking back at him.

       She kept up appearances as she headed back out of Mistward, a smile on her lips and a gleam in her eyes that normally meant trouble. If Rowan thought she was nothing compared to this would-be-queen she would just have to prove him wrong.

       She slid a dagger out from the sheath on her thigh, twirling it between her fingers as she headed deep in the forest. If Rowan was giving up on her, she would train herself.

       Hellas save them.

[prismatales]

Late Bloomer: Faltering (Part 1)

Word Count: 3.3K

Bingo slot: Free

Pairings: None

Tag/Warnings: Slight angst.

Synopsis: Sometimes, life throws some unexpected circumstances that can bring doubts.

Here's Part 2 of Late bloomer!

Unfortunately, as much as I would've loved to make this chapter longer in order to introduce Dabi at once, I've been struggling with some heavy writer's block and burnout for these past weeks, but when I said part 2 would be out this week it was a promise, hopefully you guys will enjoy it!

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Isn’t it strange that the most gentle of hearts belong to all the souls on fire?

-Michelle Schaper

“That will be all for today’s lessons. Make sure to enjoy your break, everyone!” Midnight exclaimed, a cheerful smile on her face while all her students were busy packing their stuff, eager to leave and prepare everything they needed for the school break. If luck was on your side, maybe you would be able to plan something out with your siblings once Shouto came back from the training camp. 

“Todoroki. Before you leave, principal Nezu would like to speak with you.”...Or maybe not.

“...Is this about what happened during the exam?” you couldn’t help asking the teacher, nervous about the idea of being in trouble for the little stunt that occurred during your exam. But that couldn’t be the reason the principal was calling, right?

“He just told me to send you to his office. But if this helps out, I think your father was there too.”

“…Of course he is.” You had to hold back the urge to groan in front of the teacher. Blood already warming up just by the mention of your father of all people being in the principal’s office, if this was another attempt to make you switch classes, you’d be having none of it. 

“Did you put confetti in Bakugo’s gauntlets again?” Ren and Hatsume approached you after class, both of them snickered when they remembered the look on the blond’s face as he chased you around the school like a wild beast. The attempt to muffle the laughter failed miserably by the reminder.

“Nope. But if my dear old man’s there, I know what this is about. Anyway, see you next Monday, guys!” They both waved cheerfully before walking away, their figures became smaller and smaller with each step taken until eventually they could no longer be recognized from afar. 

As soon as you began heading towards the principal’s office, a small knot began growing into the pit of your stomach from the nerves. Once you finally stood in front of the door, the first thing you did was knock twice, staying put before the principal’s voice called out through the other side. “Come in!” 

The door was slightly pushed, just enough to peek inside the office. Just as Midnight said, principal Nezu was sitting on his chair and your beloved father was standing nearby with arms crossed. Both of them turned to look in your direction before the principal welcomed you with his characteristic smile.

“You wanted to see me, sir?” You ask out of formality, partially nervous about the attention. 

“Yes, please come take a seat!” He didn’t move from his spot, and neither did your father as they both watched you step inside the office and advance forwards before stopping in front of the principal’s desk. Quietly, you pulled a chair in order to sit down, effortlessly ignoring your father’s presence as subtly as possible.

“There’s something we’d like to discuss with you. It’s not about the exam if that’s what you’re worried about.” You couldn’t help placing a hand over your chest, exhaling in relief with eyes closed. Endeavor’s stare could almost dig a hole at the back of your skull from that reaction, but he’s ignored in favor of looking at the principal. “It’s about your quirk...It’s already been a few weeks after the sports festival, but it appears you’re still having some difficulties controlling it...don’t you?” 

For someone who had as much authority as him, the principal’s question didn’t hold a single speck of malice or mockery behind it, almost sounded like he’s talking to a small child. Which made the situation way more uncomfortable in your eyes, because not only was he mentioning a fact you’ve been trying to so hard to hide, but he was also mentioning all of this in front of the last person you’d want to find out.

Insecurity grew deep inside as you looked down, avoiding eye contact with both males for as long as possible, gripping the fabric of your skirt with a firm grip that dug your nails painfully harsh into the flesh of your thighs.

“The principal’s asking you a question.” Just hearing your father’s voice was enough to make your blood feel like it was boiling, if any of them were able to see under the bangs hiding your face from view they would’ve seen a pair of glowing eyes. Nobody was supposed to know about the lack of control you’ve been struggling with for the past weeks, but it seems that it was more obvious than you thought.

When you looked back at the principal with doubtful eyes, they were no longer filled with that golden light that had already vanished. Hesitating, you finally answered the question.

“Yes, sir…”

“And you didn’t tell anyone this, because?”

“Because, I thought it would be something temporary...and eventually, I would be able to control it on my own.” He observed you with unpredictable eyes, pondering for a moment.

“That’s understandable,” he gave a slight nod with eyes closed “but you have to consider that as a school, it’s our responsibility to help the students grow and this includes helping them learn to control their quirks. There’s also another factor to consider…” 

This time he looked at you straight in the eye. “Remember what happened during the sports festival?” How could you ever forget it? The day your quirk manifested will forever be branded into your memories. “As harsh as this may sound, we’re concerned that this difficulty may end up with something similar happening in the future. Please don’t take it personally.”

It’s understandable that the principal worried about the risk of somebody getting hurt. And yet that didn’t soothe the ache growing inside you. Distracted by these thoughts, you didn’t pay attention to the rest of the conversation between the principal and your father. 

“My suggestion would be for her to attend the training camp alongside the hero department, the training could be a perfect opportunity to learn to control her quirk.” The principal turned his attention back towards you “While it’s not our place to make this kind of decision on a student’s behalf, this is a special case. I hope you understand our reasons, Todoroki-san.”

Nodding silently, your lips were pressed into a thin line in resignation over the school’s decision. But when you thought about it through the adult’s eyes, they were right. It could be dangerous to lose control and potentially getting someone hurt because you decided to be stubborn and handle this on your own.

But who could blame you when that’s pretty much how you grew up? Becoming independent at such a young age in order to lessen the burden on your sibling’s lives. 

“Well then, it’s decided. Look at the bright side, at least your brother will be there as well!” Nezu made an attempt to light up the situation, and you appreciated it. Kind of ironic how someone that’s not even related to you is doing more than your own father. who somehow, had such a feeling of pride radiating from him that if it wasn’t for who was in the room as well, you would have smacked him right in the face with your belt.

After the final arrangements were done, you and your father walked out of the principal’s office, but unlike him, the look on your face was so very sour that it could make a lemon taste sweeter than honey.

You didn’t have the chance to say anything to the man walking in front of you, since he began talking first.

“Before you accuse me of talking the principal into this. They were the ones who called concerning this situation.” He wouldn’t even turn around and it made you feel even more bitter than before, realizing you were the only one to blame for this.

“I do not care if you had anything to do with it. It’s obvious this is just an excuse to try moving me into the hero department.” In an angry fit, you stopped and glared at his back “I said this before and I’ll say it again; Nothing you can do will change my mind, camp or not, I’m staying in the support class!”

Unfortunately for you, that small fit of rage was enough for the ends of your hair to light up, right at the same time he turned to give you a look. “Focus on getting control over that power and then you can say that again with your head held high.”

With fists clenched into a fist, you just marched away with a huff. As much as you’d love to give him a piece of your mind, it was time to prepare everything for the trip.

A few days later, you stood near everyone from class 1-A, getting on the bus that would take everyone to the training camp. At least Shouto’s classmates were kind enough not to make you feel like an outcast, and it really helped out that you already met them before. After they saw you talking with your brother about his new costume and making fun of the first one, much to his embarrassment.

“Can I ask you something?” Shouto asked quietly from beside you, trying to avoid catching the other’s attention.

“Mhm.” You looked up from the screen of your phone, where a meme was displayed, courtesy of Mina who had quickly added your phone number into the group chat.

“You were doing so well the first time we trained together...so what happened?” He noticed the way your hand clenched around the device harshly, with a little more strength the screen would’ve almost cracked.

Nervously, you turned away from him with a nervous look all over your features but still managed to smile softly at him despite everything going through your head at that moment.

“I’d rather not talk about it...please?” The small plead caught him off guard, but Shouto still respected your wish...

The bus finally stopped in the middle of nowhere, it gave everyone the chance to walk out and stretch their bodies after sitting inside such a cramped seat for hours. 

And then, a pair of women showed up to greet everyone. Watching their costumes made your eyes light up in joy once you recognized the pair standing in front of everyone. But unlike Midoriya, you could only fangirl silently at the sight of the wild wild pussycats, or at least at the sight of the two that were talking in front of the whole class.

“I thought Hawks was your favorite?” your brother had to cough into his fist to hide the laughter when he saw the look on his twin’s face, that quickly turned into embarrassment when some of his classmates heard their banter.

“S-Shut up!” You shoved him by the shoulder at the same time your whole face got warm all the way down to the neck, it quickly began getting warmer the moment most of the girls overheard Shouto’s comment and gave you a teasing look. Now it would be impossible to live that down. “This is why Natsuo’s my favorite brother!”

That was the last thing you could tell him before the ground began moving underneath everyone’s feet, courtesy of pixie bob’s quirk. Everyone quickly tried to get back inside the bus to no avail, for all of you had been thrown into the forest. The last thing you heard from Mandalay was how those unable to reach the camp before noon would not be allowed to have lunch. 

While everyone fell down, some people noticed you quickly pulling your shirt open, and you could have sworn at least one of them yelled out panicked until they noticed a black tank top under the uniform. And also a familiar belt from the sports festival.

Quickly, two metallic claws sprung out from the back of the artifact, digging their way deep into the wall so they could slow down the impact. 

You were probably going to get an earful from Aizawa, but wearing this belt and the trusty bracelet over your right hand became a habit too hard to avoid, these ‘babies’ -yes, Hatsume had become quite an influence- were like a part of you, something you spent so much blood, sweat and tears developing from scratch.

Once your feet reached the floor again, the claws retreated back inside the belt. “Is everyone alright?!” You called out as the others dug their way out from the layers of dirt, luckily nobody had gotten injured during the fall and even if they had, it was a good thing there was a healer among them.

A thunderous roar could be heard, making you look at the direction where it came from, just to see this horrendous creature towering over the smallest guy from the group, what was his name? ah yes...Mineta.

After Koda tried using his quirk to calm down the creature, you realized they were not living creatures, most likely controlled by one of the pro-heroes supervising the school trip.

As soon as Midoriya managed to rescue his classmate and get rid of the first creature, another three appeared right after. This race against time was going to be harder than everyone thought. So might as well hurry up and lend everyone a hand.

“(Y/n)! behind you!” Turning around, you came face to face with another beast. Quickly, your hair began glowing with energy, growing until it reached the lower back and your arms became surrounded with a reddish aura, that somehow was acting differently than before, it started flickering wildly rather than flowing into smooth waves.

The beast lunged forwards, instantly being hit by an attack that ignited into flames as soon as it came in contact with it. Burning its whole body in a matter of seconds.

The more you kept running, the more of these creatures appeared and were taken care of just as fast. You had to admit it, everyone in the hero course was incredible in their own way.

It was strange using your quirk this long after spending so much time trying to avoid it. But if it meant no longer worrying about losing control, then you’d go through as much training as you had to endure.

Finally, after a long struggle in the forest, everyone managed to come out in one piece. But after using your quirk for so long, the only thing that didn’t hurt was your eyelashes. Every muscle in your body cried out in agony, exhausted, and begging for some rest, the same thing could be said about your irritated eyes.

“Arriving at noon my ass…” Nobody said a thing when you dropped face down on the floor, muttering a bizarre combination between nonsense and profanities. Too tired to pay attention to everything happening around you, like the moment poor Midoriya got punched in the crotch by Mandalay’s nephew, Kouta.

“Shouto, if you drag me inside I’ll treat you to the cafe for a whole month…”

“...Sorry, but you’re on your own.” 

“...You traitor.”

The meals were exquisite, every dish could almost be on pair with your sister’s cooking. And just as you expected, right before leaving for the hot springs, Aizawa made sure to confiscate your belt and any equipment you had left.

“All of it, Todoroki.” 

“...” 

With a defeated grumble, you took off the earrings as well before following after the girls.

The hot water felt heavenly against your sore body the more you sank down in the spring. If it could be possible, you’d stay underwater forever if it wasn’t for this little thing called ‘oxygen’. Swiftly your body rose up to the neck, leaning back against the edge of the spring between Jirou and Hagakure with a relaxed smile adorning your whole face.

“Ahhh, this feels so nice˜” your hands brushed some stray, damp locks away from your soaked face. The girl’s chatter was a pleasant noise in the background as every thought slipped away into nothing but a white noise inside your head.

“(y/n)?” Uraraka’s voice snapped you out from the little daze you fell in, when you turned to look at her it wasn’t only the brunette looking at you, but all of the girl’s attention was focused on you.

“Yes? What is it?” The grogginess in your voice and face was too funny to ignore, judging by their fits of giggles.

“How did you come up with the idea to make your equipment to subtle? It’s amazing!” Mina was the first one to speak, there was a glint of excitement in her eyes just thinking about the gadgets you used during the sports festival. In fact, all of them seemed interested in the subject, leaving you amazed by their reactions.

A huge smile appeared on your face upon realizing how fascinated they seemed about the equipment.

“Well, I know that sometimes equipment can make a difference for heroes, but it can also get in the way if it’s something too bulky or difficult to handle.” You explained to the small audience, not even aware that in the middle of the explanation, your hands wouldn’t stop moving all over the place as you spoke with enthusiasm.

Or how small ambers of gold began escaping through the corners of your eyes the more ecstatic you became during the explanation.

“So I thought of creating something that could be both subtle and practical at the same time, like-” 

“Ummm, (y/n)? Your quirk is going off again?” Jirou’s voice had a hint of concern, that made the words die instantly at the back of your throat when you looked at the reflection in the water and in fact, the glow in your eyes just kept growing.

They kept watching in silence, worried as you curled into a small ball at the edge of the spring, taking deep breaths that aided with the focus, until they specks of golden light finally disappeared.

“I…I’m sorry.” You couldn’t muster enough courage to look at any of them. Feeling ashamed of yourself, like a burden for everyone because you were unable to do something as simple.

“Wait, we didn’t mean it like that!” Looking up, you were met with many pairs of worried gazes that reminded you of the day everyone at school found out there was more than one Todoroki at U.A. but at the same time, it was a complete contrast as well.

Because these people were genuinely worried about you.

“Please don’t think you’re being a burden to anyone here, (y/n)“ Momo approached your curled self in an attempt to be reassuring. As a matter of fact, everyone else was doing her best to help out. “Besides that’s why you’re here with us. And if there’s anything we can do to help, we will!” 

Everyone else nodded and you’d be lying if you’d say their actions didn’t make something warm stir deep inside. It was...nice to know that including your friends in class, there were more people out there trying to help out.

With a grateful smile, you looked at every single one of the girls sitting around the spring “Thank you, guys….”

Soon you were all engaged into some playful chatter, from stuff like school, trying to get better grades on a certain subject -which you and Momo eagerly offered to help with- to being curious about tomorrow’s training….and other things as well…

In the midst of all the chatter, you were able to hear some commotion from the boy’s side of the baths. It was pretty vague, but Iida’s screams of “Restrain yourself!” were easily a hint of the chaos about to unfold.

And then Kouta’s small figure appeared at the top of the wall that faced the guy’s side of the baths.

“Learn what it means to be a dignified human being before aiming to become a hero.” The little boy spoke with such indifference as he pushed Mineta away.

“Do you guys deal with that every day?” You had to ask, and when more than one girl nodded their response left you perplexed enough to sink back into the warm water.

“Some week this is gonna be.”

You had no idea just how hard the following days would really be...

@bnhabookclub @gallickingun @godtieruwu @hanniejji @mysticalite @samanthaa-leanne @savagetrickster @shoobirino @bnha-ra @hawks-senseis @sugacookiies @unbreakableeiji @wesparklebitch

[currywaifu]

𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐥𝐞: the sims 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩: settsu banri/reader 𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠: sfw 𝐰𝐜: 2.1k words

𝐚𝐧: banri and reader? using the Sims as an excuse to flirt? more likely than you think. been playing Sims 4, and I got a surge of inspiration at like 1 am. also, friends to lovers is one of my faves, goes hand in hand w/ many tropes (fake dating cough cough)

A laptop with no mouse, you’re such a pro-gamer.” Banri teases you, lifting the blankets slightly to let you settle in beside him. Fixing your position on the bed, you let out a laugh as he yelped from the skin contact.

“Your feet are fucking cold!”

You stick your tongue out at him, before turning on your laptop. “Then don’t make fun of my set-up, e-boy! You’re the one who wanted to game in bed.”

“I was expecting gacha-“

“I have event burnout,” you whine in protest, “I need a break from my eternal suffering, so we’re playing the Sims 4.”

Shuffling closer to you, his thighs now beside yours, he watches you load up an unfinished sim from your gallery. He snickers as he looks at the avatar closely.

“Oh, so we’re making each other then?” Banri asks, noting the various clothes that looked incredibly similar to stuff he actually owns. Clearly, you already got a head start. “My face looks kind of fucked though.”

Giggling, you turn to face him. “Obviously it’s hard to do your gorgeous, one of a kind face justice, have pity on my average sim-making skills.” You joked, observing Banri’s expression for a comeback. Whatever he throws at you, you’ll be prepared to throw back.

“Then I’ll let you look at my face as a reference, for as long as you want,” he replies, the quirk of his lips letting you know he had more to say. “Just like how you’re looking at me right now,” he continues, a little softer this time.

Caught off-guard, you force yourself to turn back to the bright blue screen as Banri’s sim lets out various sounds of Simlish non-sense. Did joining theatre make him even more smooth or something?

And here you thought you could avoid the feelings continuously sprouting in your chest. You supposed inviting the object of your affections over to your place didn’t help your case; with your friend spending more and more time as an actor, you secretly longed for and cherished the time you spent together.

Still, with how he grew and bloomed as a person it was hard not to catch feelings.

With a boyish grin set on his face, he found himself revelling in your cute embarrassment. “Made ya speechless?”

“Something like that,” you said half-heartedly.

You always found him attractive, bowl-cut, dumb animal print and all. Of course, as if you would ever tell him seriously lest his ego gets bigger. Yet when you were looking at a picture of him for reference, your thoughts weren’t ‘yeah my friend is attractive, what a good reference for this sim’.

Instead, it was more along the lines of, ‘I’d like to punch his mouth, with my mouth.’

Slightly concerned by your lacklustre response, Banri looks at your face for a sign of discomfort or anger. Lips slightly pouted, eyebrows somewhat furrowed, and eyes completely focused on the screen.

Wait, what were you doing?

“Yo what are you doing to my face! Stop stretching it out!” You were smiling again, so he wasn’t all that bothered by your petty retaliation really, plus it was nice to know he hadn’t said anything that was out of line with you.

“Fine, fine. I wanna get Banny’s face right.” You say.

Banri opens his mouth, then closes it, then lets out a huff of laughter. “You have a nickname for the sim now?” He was about to say more until one of your hands takes hold of his face.

Settsu Banri was not easily flustered, nor did his face turn red from small, insignificant touches. The tingling feeling rendered within him as your fingers brush against his skin, however, was present no matter how much he denied it.

This weird silence wasn’t really his thing, but if he spoke up now or teased you back, there was a chance you would stop. Why didn’t he want you to stop?

Your index finger traces his jawline, the pad briefly meeting his cheek before sliding upwards to the bridge of his nose. He didn’t close his eyes, but with your intense stare piercing through him, his gaze shifts towards somewhere, anywhere else.

The wall was a nice place to set his eyes on. Not so plain that his thoughts would wander but not so cluttered that he wouldn’t know where to start. There was a time when your room was littered with posters from different shows, games, bands- he could remember it pretty well, having made fun of you for it.

At the present a choice few posters still there, but now there was also the addition of photos of you and other people on the wall. Some were polaroids, others were pictures you printed out yourself and taped on.

From afar, he spots several photos with him in it- when you went thrift shopping together, the cultural festivals you dragged him to and the music festivals he visited with you. A part of him is pleased, smug even, to know that he’s important enough to you have his pictures up there.

He hadn’t really thought about it before, but when did the two of you get so close to hang out all the time? You had always been chill with him even when he was a delinquent, but after joining Mankai the two of you had grown closer.

“Oi, Banri. Look at this!”

Huh, when did you stop touching his face?

When Banri looked at the screen appraisingly, his sim version- Banny, you called him, looked a lot more like him. You even dressed him in clothes he would’ve chosen for himself.

“Like the animal print? Downloaded a bunch for you.”

He whistled, looking at the different outfits you chose. “You did pretty good, I guess. Could probably do better though.”

You scoff, looking a little doubtful. Sure, Banri excelled in many things, but making a good sim look-a-like isn’t a common talent, especially without any practice.

“Have you even played the Sims 4 before?”

Shrugging, Banri pulled the device onto his lap from yours. “2 and 3. Never touched 4, should be easy enough.”

He plays around with the options for a bit. After entering your name and gender, he looks through the possible aspirations and traits he could give your sim, which was easy enough. He briefly wondered if you would protest being given a mismatched trait, but when he hovers the cursor over one you don’t react at all. 

Calling out your name, he eyes you from his peripheral. This wasn’t the first time you spaced out today. One arm went in front of you as he waved his hand to catch your attention.

“You can… also,” you paused, chewing on your lip for a few seconds, “for reference. If you wanted.”

He whips his head to face you completely, looking a little shell-shocked.

‘If I wanted?’

He paused, figuring out how to phrase his response. Honestly, he probably didn’t need to- he already has your face mapped out and memorised in his brain at this point, but there was no way he was admitting that.

Besides, if you offered it wouldn’t be wrong wanting to accept.

“Not that I need it, but I’m just making sure, ya hear?” His voice was the same as always, not a sign of wavering to hint at his anticipation or nervousness. “Bet you just want my hands all over ya or something.” He said, doing his best to manage a playful tone but not quite making the cut.

If someone else had said it you would have felt called out, or at worst offended, but you knew he was merely slipping into the language he most felt comfortable using.

“Don’t flatter yourself.” Your voice came out a little shaky at the start, but thankfully he doesn’t out you for it. “Just don’t be weird about it.” There was no doubt in your mind that your cheeks were hotter than the sun, but you were curious about how it felt.

“No pressure,” Banri said, hoping his face is still the picture of nonchalance despite the erratic thumping of his heart in his chest defying it. “You can back out anytime.”

You don’t answer, steadily avoiding his gaze by observing the hand hovering near your face. It twitched.

The blanket shifts as Banri sits in a way where he could look at you properly, putting the laptop aside.

As soon as you felt his fingers come in contact with your face you immediately shut your eyes, unable to bear the embarrassment. A multitude of questions ran through your head, unable to concentrate on a single one.

Why did you offer? Why did he accept? You did the same, so why was it such a big deal if he touched your face? Why did you touch his face in the first place? Why were you so touch-starved? Why did he it feel so nice?

You hoped closing your eyes hid the self-consciousness and pleasure you felt at this moment, enjoying his knuckles glide against your skin.

Banri narrows his eyes, stomach twisting at how overwhelmingly adorable you looked and how soft you were. Hell, you were turning him all soft and sappy and disgusting but that was the least of his worries right now. At least your eyes were closed, he doesn’t have to put on a facade— that this was just a friendly thing, because if he was reading the signs right you were both venturing somewhere beyond that.

His thumbs press against your cheekbones, so featherlight the sensation might as well be from a ghost. You stay still, unable— or perhaps unwilling— to move, and as much as you try to hold it in your breaths grow more and more uneven the longer Banri’s hand lingers on your skin.

You wonder if this is as intimate for him as it was for you.

Your skin is warm and soft, he’s a little conscious if the callousness of his fingertips feels uncomfortable to you.

Even with the slight roughness, his fingers felt infinitely tender as they swept through your cheeks.

Following your cheekbone, he moves to your jaw, to your chin, and with his fingers up again to his forehead, learning the planes of your face. He’s had you memorised visually, but it wouldn’t hurt to familiarise himself with the feeling of you. Banri stretches out his fingers before fully cupping your face with his palms, swallowing when you lean your head into one of them.

“Do you know,” Banri hesitates, “what you’re doing to me?”

His courage wanes, he wants to say more but it’s so difficult sorting out the emotions overflowing within. His head hurts a bit from figuring out what to focus on, the anxiety and panic or the joy and euphoria. The only constant right now was you.

One hand falls to your arm, slowly sliding up and down while leaving goosebumps in its wake. The other continues to rest on the side of your face, thumb inching closer and closer. As the pad brushes against the corner of your lip, your eyes open wide and gaze directly at the familiar pools of blue.

The first thought that flies through your mind is that he’s close enough now to kiss you. Everything about him, the air around them, feels warm and humming with an energy you’ve never felt from anyone before— other than Banri.

“This isn’t easy for me,” Banri lets out a breath, both of you doing your best to not disturb the feeling in the room. His hair falling loose but his eyes never leave yours for a second. “I’ve never… Look, I like being around you. You matter to me. A lot.”

You can’t help the smile that makes its way on your face, the utter adoration, and fondness and love you had for him escaping all at once. With what little space you had between, you pressed your forehead against his.

“You matter to me too. A lot.” You muttered, repeating his confession, closing your eyes again before ever so gently pushing your lips to his.

You’ve imagined how it would be like to kiss Banri before, rough and a little harsh, but as you felt his hand through the baby hairs at the bottom of your head you were more than content at his gentle kissing.

Banri continues kissing you slowly, unsure if the sun had already set, but all that mattered was this moment.

want to order again?

[fresh-file-fresh-start]

Hypotheticals

Summary: Zagreus wonders if he really has a chance to escape. The answer he gets is as disappointing as he expected.

On a rare day when Zagreus sees Thanatos at his balcony, he comes over for a chat. It’s not often he got to see either of his friends, with how busy they were and all and he wouldn’t pass up a chance to talk to one of them. (And he wonders, distantly, if they really were his friends anymore. Friendships didn’t have to break through fights and anger after all, they could fade and dissipate like anything else.)

“Hey Than.” Zagreus greeted, ambling up to the familiar balcony that became known as Thanatos’s little corner of the House.

“Zagreus.” he greeted. “A pleasant surprise. I’m taking a short break as of right now, but I guess it’s not bad that I get to see a familiar face around here.”

“You’re always working so hard, Than. You should take a break more often. Burnout is very real after all.”

Zagreus casually leaned against the balcony, his nonchalant demeanor belied his careful gaze. Should he ask Than..? Out of everyone here, he knew the most about the surface. Maybe he had a chance...

Thanatos scoffed lightly. “As if you would know about overworking. But, I guess your words hold merit. If I constantly push myself too hard then I won’t be able to work properly.”

Zagreus knew that Thanatos meant well, but his words still felt like a backhanded compliment. He was aware that he maintained a certain... image. One that was very different from how he truly was. And he knew that keeping up such an illusion would help him in the long run. Yet the feeling of knowing that the people around him will never know him as he truly was still stung. Zagreus knew what burnout felt like, he had experienced it himself. He was far more careful about avoiding it nowadays, he knew his limits. But the effects of burnout and a seemingly peculiar avoidance of extremely hard labor only made people scorn him more for his supposed laziness. He wouldn’t admit it to anyone, but the resentment he held wasn’t exclusive to his father. Of course, he held the most scorn for his father, but he wasn’t blind enough to think that he didn’t resent some of the others a little either.

Forcing out a chuckle to cover his feelings, he turned to Thanatos. “Wow Than, that’s a little harsh. But I guess you’re right about that. What would I know of working hard?”

An awkward silence fell between them, causing Zagreus to internally wince. Perhaps he didn’t hide his feelings as well he could’ve.

Clearing his throat, he turned to Thanatos. “...Hey Than?” he asked softly.

“What is it Zagreus, I need to get back soon.”

“It won’t take long, I promise, but I had a question.” He took a deep breath. “Do... Do you think it’s possible to escape from the Underworld?”

Thanatos lightly scoffed. “It’s hopeless to try and escape this place. With the literal armies of the dead your father commands, the ever shifting chambers of the entire Underworld, and even Cerberus himself, there’s no way anyone would escape. Your father always said there was no escape from this place, and he’s right.”

“...I see. Thank you, Thanatos.”

“Of course Zag, I’ll be seeing you around.”

“Yeah, see you later.”

With a brisk nod, Thanatos left to return to his duties, oblivious or perhaps intentionally ignorant of the turmoil that Zagreus experienced. Leaning more heavily against the balcony, he stared down at the river Styx as it rushed past him. He knew that Thanatos would say that, he himself had believed that there wasn’t any escape once. And yet, the words still stung, no matter how prepared he was for it. He rose from his spot at the balcony, heading towards the courtyard to brush up on his swordsmanship again. He knew that what people thought of him and of this place didn’t matter to him, once he left they wouldn’t again. But for pride’s sake, and pride alone, he would prove them all wrong.

[amerasdreams]

I have been listening to True Spies podcast on Spotify. It’s apparently connected to a thing called Spyscape, which has a museum/experience thing in New York. They also have an online test for your personality and intelligence.... well those intelligence tests all of course have to do with math. and they are TIMED. somehow I got thru guessing most of them.... didn’t score 0 but didn’t score great. 

so guess what I scored on intelligence!  and personality scores mean I’m more prone to health problems and being unhappy.... :( 

(here I woke up thinking I can be uniquely me, I don’t want to be like anyone else anyway, I can embrace that... but how can I when what I am is this pathetic)

I shouldn’t have done this, I know what these tests do, make me discouraged and hate myself more. they even said I’m not imaginative and creative-- things I value most besides intelligence (and intuition/empathy...) 

they did say the “spy role” I was most suited for, which is what I’m most interested in, intelligence analyst. But in the more “practical” side, for jobs, it mentioned medical things, technical things, which I wouldn’t be good at and don’t like, business marketing-- working for a business I don’t care about, a job with no meaning....  it even had mathematician! when I’m obviously not good at math. the only jobs I might be interested in are psychologist/criminologist... idk.... to late for me to get any career anyway, let alone somehow what I really want

they did a risk assessment, where you blow up the balloon before it pops to get “money” - yesterday I started it and panicked when the balloon popped the first time and closed the window. then when I was walking the dogs it occured to me it was a test lol and I would just have to keep risking popping the balloon... so today I saw it as more of a game and not the ‘scary balloon popping oh no I lost money!” -not even real money. idk about fun.... all these things were stressful esp the intelligence test. 

today I started the test, thinking it might help me, get insight into what I can do, instead, it discouraged me, I’m what I thought, mediocre and not suited for much, they only gave a “role” to me because they had to give me something. It said the intelligence analyst is inquisitive--when it just said I wasn’t -  idk how this even fits with the test bc analytical? that wasn’t one of the dimensions and doesn’t seem like I scored high on implied analytical powers, same with determined-- 

how can i live with myself being like this, having no role and no future according to any dimension that really counts. don’t want to be plodding away at menial tasks when I want to do something Imaginative, Creative, Intellectual-- ha can’t even do that

oh I’m proving them right, easily stressed and sensitive and reactive -- 

I’m not including the risk assessment bc I don’t think it’s accurate-- I’m really very risk averse in all cases... oh we know that already so. 

~

results (bold/parentheses is mine)

MENTAL HORSEPOWER

Unlike Alan Turing would, you scored moderately low {yay!:(} on this attribute. The result, driven by your performance in the personality tests, suggests that, on the whole, you struggle with complex mathematical and analytical problems. {so how can I be an analyst?} That said, you can usually spot patterns and find links in data – as long as the information you have been given isn’t too abstract. (I like big picture things.... abstract things... apparently I’m not good at it)

IN YOUR DAILY LIFE

Like other people with a moderately low Mental Horsepower score, you are more likely to ‘go with your gut’ when making decisions rather than to apply logic and reason (that’s true.... logic is mystifying. fits with being INFP-- logic is my weakest point). It is unlikely that you will sit down and win a game of chess, and you probably rely on your satnav rather than read a map yourself. (yep.... chess is too much strategy... I can’t see ahead like that .. hm how could I be an analyst)

IN YOUR WORK

Because you are not a very conceptual thinker, you are better in roles where you can do things ‘automatically’ rather than applying any abstract reasoning skills. You are not bad at visual-spatial or mathematical tests though, and with training and practice, your skills will definitely improve.

THE SCIENCE

Mental Horsepower relates to our general cognitive ability and our capacity to think about, reason with, and understand abstract concepts. It particularly links to analytical and mathematical skills, but also covers memory, comprehension, language, learning capacity and judgement. These are hugely significant skills for success at work and in everyday life.

Psychologists have developed all kinds of tests to measure cognitive ability. Some of these involve predicting outcomes from patterns in data (also known as inductive reasoning), while others focus on mentally flipping and rotating images. We use both of these approaches in our Mental Horsepower tests at SPYSCAPE.

Recent neuroimaging research shows that intelligence is linked to brain patterns, and that these patterns are unique to each of us (meaning you can’t change them :(  )– much like our fingerprints. In one study, these brain ‘fingerprints’ were used to successfully predict people’s scores in IQ tests.

While IQ tests are probably the most common method for determining cognitive ability, there is some debate over whether they provide a complete picture. For example, theories suggest that there are many different types of intelligence which are not accounted for in these tests. Still, it is generally accepted that people who score highly on tests of cognitive ability are on the whole better at completing intelligence-related (so that career’s out... if it was ever in lol) tasks in the real world.

~

COMPOSURE

Unlike Jason Bourne, you scored extremely low (low on everything! what a wonderful person!) on this attribute. The result, driven by your performance in the personality tests, suggests that you are far more vulnerable to stressors than most people (I knew that). You are likely to have a very strong emotional reaction to negative events and your brain becomes highly active when you see something you perceive as unpleasant (like this test!). Although this means you find it hard to relax, it also means you are really tuned in to your surroundings ( and what’s the upside of that? nice consolation prize....)

IN YOUR DAILY LIFE

Like other people with extremely low levels of composure, you are highly likely to experience anxiety and burnout. (with things that aren’t really stressful to anyone else. just stepping outside. just being inside-- doing thigns like this.. doing most things actually-- help how can i live) You can be far too critical of yourself (well how do i stop? if this is how I am like), especially when you are stressed (which is almost all the time), and this can make it tricky for you to overcome problems (which is never, which is why I’m still living w my parents). You also dwell on the past far more than people with high composure.

On the positive side, you are responsive to your environment, which means you are more likely to anticipate negative outcomes and find ways to avoid them (like almost everything). You are also sensitive and caring, and your observant nature means you look out for yourself and the people close to you. (what’s the point of that when you can’t do anything, or get to know new people)

IN YOUR WORK

It is unlikely your colleagues will turn to you when there is an emergency or crisis at work. This is because you struggle to keep your emotions in check, and challenging situations can get the better of you. When this happens, you are not great at maintaining focus or making tough decisions.

THE SCIENCE

Composure relates to how our brains respond to stress. In tense situations, your brain activates an area called the hypothalamus, which releases adrenalin and cortisol – also known as stress hormones.

A bit of stress now and then is important for survival, because it alerts us to the dangers around us. Small amounts can be useful, but too much over a long period of time is bad for our health (oh goody). Studies show that the adrenal cortex, the part of the brain that releases stress hormones, is also linked to the healthy function of our immune system – and people who are more prone to stress are also more likely to get sick.

There is also a connection between composure and working (short-term) memory. Composed people perform better on tasks where they need to recall and use relevant information while they’re doing something else – for example remembering the steps of a recipe when cooking a meal.

PEOPLE SCORING HIGH IN COMPOSURE ARE

LAID-BACK

RELAXED

COOL

FOCUSED

POISED

PEOPLE SCORING LOW IN COMPOSURE ARE

EMOTIONAL

SENSITIVE

PERCEPTIVE

RESPONSIVE

VIGILANT

~

Contentiousness

Unlike diligent Mission: Impossible hero Isla Faust, you scored moderately low on this attribute. The result, driven by your performance in the personality tests, suggests that unlike Isla, you find it difficult to keep focused on long-term goals {Idk about this. goals are all i focus on.... well. I think about them often but Idk how to create the steps to get there and so things fizzle out and I get-- discouraged what else is new). You get distracted or bored quite quickly and are often drawn to new ideas and projects instead of finishing what you are currently doing (well.... hm. I finish novels...). You understand what is important in life, but you sometimes skip the details. (I’m not a detail person... I can be but they often seem irrelevant)

IN YOUR DAILY LIFE

Because you prefer not to a follow a schedule, hobbies that require regular training are not for you. In fact, your interests change quite regularly, and you find long-term commitment a challenge whatever the activity. Friends and family know that if they want you to do something, they need to encourage you to get organized. When they press you, however, you do things pretty well.

IN YOUR WORK

You take a relatively flexible approach to work. As such, you get distracted easily and do not always complete the task in hand. Because of your tendency to do this, you are likely to change jobs – and perhaps even career – fairly regularly (I want variety... Idk, this sort of fits, sort of doesn’t).

THE SCIENCE

Conscientiousness shapes how likely you are to follow rules, regulate your own behavior and get yourself organized. The more conscientious you are, the more motivated by goals and tasks you are likely to be.

According to what psychologists call the ‘Big-5’ model, conscientiousness is a core dimension of personality – and one of the five key traits that drive human behavior. Whether you are high or low in conscientiousness can help predict your success in social, academic and professional situations.

If you have high levels of conscientiousness, you are probably more productive and better at adapting to new situations (that’s true, I’m not) that come your way. However, this does not mean that being conscientious is always a good thing, because research also shows that being too conscientious can lead to overthinking. (I do that too...)

Some studies suggest that people who are more conscientious are healthier – and they might even live longer. This might be because conscientious people are more likely to exercise regularly, eat healthily, and avoid smoking or drinking too much alcohol.

It’s hard to say where conscientiousness comes from. One study found a link with areas of the brain relating to attention and cognitive control. There is also evidence to suggest that genes play their part. It’s likely that social factors such as your upbringing influence how conscientious you are, too.

PEOPLE SCORING HIGH IN CONSCIENTIOUSNESS ARE

HIGH-ACHIEVING

ACCOUNTABLE

THOROUGH

DRIVEN

SELF-DISCIPLINED

PEOPLE SCORING LOW IN CONSCIENTIOUSNESS ARE

IMPULSIVE

FLEXIBLE

EASY-GOING

SPONTANEOUS

ADAPTABLE

(I think I’m sort of this, sort of not because I’m borderline INFP -- P is flexible, impulsive while J is more structured-- I’m slightly more Perceiving. goes to show Myers-Briggs is pretty good at describing personality accurately....)

~

INQUISITIVENESS

Unlike Carrie Mathison in Homeland, you scored moderately low on this attribute. Your score was driven by your performance in the personality tests, and it suggests that you are pretty cautious about new ideas, beliefs, cultures and theories.

IN YOUR DAILY LIFE

Like other people who scored moderately low on this attribute, you are not so willing to take on board other people’s views (that’s true). You will consider what people have to say, but you are likely to stick with your own opinion. You feel more comfortable in familiar situations and surroundings (well, yes...), and you do not really feel the need to explore new places (I kind of do, though... I want to but I often... don’t. because it’s too hard).

IN YOUR WORK

Because you aren’t motivated to learn or acquire new skills (Idk about this... depends on if it’s something I’m interested in. I’m learning like 15 languages on Duolingo...), you are less likely to seek out new opportunities at work. And the longer you stay in a job, the worse your motivation is likely to get. In general, you tend to perform better when you start a new position, although you will carry this out using the same approach you always have, rather than approach it in a new way. You like real-world, practical work that has straightforward solutions.

THE SCIENCE

Inquisitiveness is an important trait for discovering new things and building a better understanding of people and of the world around us. Psychologists have developed tools for assessing and measuring how inquisitive a person is.

These are based on extensive research into personality and are designed to evaluate five facets related to inquisitiveness: (i) intellectual curiosity; (ii) aesthetic sensitivity; (iii) active imagination; (iv) attentiveness to inner feelings and; (v) preference for variety.

Furthermore, personality researchers have identified two types of inquisitiveness; ‘epistemic’, which refers to information seeking ( I think I’m more information seeking?) behaviour and ‘perceptual’, which refers to experience seeking.

PEOPLE SCORING HIGH IN INQUISITIVENESS ARE

CURIOUS

OPEN-MINDED

IMAGINATIVE AND INVENTIVE

CREATIVE

ADAPTIVE

PEOPLE SCORING LOW IN INQUISITIVENESS ARE

PRACTICAL

CONSISTENT

TRADITIONAL

HABITUAL

PRAGMATIC

~

SOCIABILITY

A bit like Alec Leamas in The Spy Who Came in from the Cold, you scored extremely low (yay. well I knew this... and from answering the questions... )on this attribute, which suggests that you prefer to spend time alone and keep yourself to yourself. You avoid parties, meet-ups and other noisy gatherings because you find them overwhelming (wayyyy). If you really have to socialize, you need plenty of quiet time afterwards to help you rest and recharge.

IN YOUR DAILY LIFE

Like others with an extremely low sociability score, you don’t like being the center of attention and often struggle to start conversations. You think a lot before speaking and regularly find it hard to express your thoughts and ideas. Because of this, you often let others do the talking, and you don’t take part in small talk either. This behavior means you might come across as socially reactive, and people may think you only talk to them when you feel you really have to (as in, extremely negative, and I shouldn’t exist. although... i do talk to them if I have to.... haha I do take part in small talk because I think I have to. or people will think I’m rude. but I don’t like it. I’m sensitive to how I’m perceived and don’t want to be seen as too antisocial, but I talk to others out of fear not of want... yikes. no wonder no one wants to be around me. well I don't want to be around them. well - I want to be around people I know well. for limited amounts of time... need less to recharge from people I know than strangers. I want to be with them, I don’t want to be with strangers-- it’s only stress and not fun at all. but how do i get past the stranger part to the friend part if I don’t like being with strangers and it’s all stressful adn overwhelming? How do i participate in society, have people to talk to, have any sort of success??? - shouldn't exist.).

IN YOUR WORK

Because you are more comfortable working independently (please. HOW???? besides working for myself... haha can’t work for anyone else bc can’t get past the interview, these ^ traits are obvious and not something any employer in their right mind wants), you will be more productive – and much happier – managing your own workload, tackling problems alone, and avoiding company brainstorms and powwows.

THE SCIENCE

How sociable you are can be linked to your levels of happiness, positivity, and wellbeing. In fact, sociability relates to a variety of positive outcomes in life, including how successful you are at work, how well you cope with challenging situations, and even how physically and mentally healthy you are. (yay. I’m doomed. I might as well kill myself now)

People who are highly sociable are more positive emotionally (case in point!) than those who are less sociable. In one brain imaging study, people with a high sociability score had higher levels of brain activity when they saw images of happy faces and other positive emotions.

The same part of the brain that processes emotions also helps interpret information from social contexts, which means we can judge a social situation and then respond appropriately (social situations, like math problems and logic, are mystifying to me. yay the things that are highest linked to success--).

There is some evidence to suggest that highly sociable people might be better at detecting and decoding the meaning of social cues –  including how they analyze and read people’s faces (oh, I know that. I have a hard time judging people’s faces, in fact I often think they are mad at me or judging me by their faces when they probably aren’t. I even have trouble finding out what emotions go with what emoji! besides the basics. i mean why, how are there so many emojis....). This means they are likely to find social interaction easier to deal with than others (lol yes. it’s . not easy. why. do i have to be born like this. always been. hell..).

There is also research to suggest that highly sociable people have more connections between regions of the brain that involve visual stimulus and regions that process social and emotional stimuli. (brains are better, we get it)

Sociability might also be associated with the neurotransmitter dopamine, which is linked to reward-seeking behavior. It is thought that people who are highly sociable may have an enhanced response to dopamine in the brain, which makes them pursue rewards such as attention, status, power or pleasure. This would explain why, when they get these things, they feel happier or more satisfied.

PEOPLE SCORING HIGH IN SOCIABILITY ARE

TALKATIVE

FRIENDLY

ENTHUSIASTIC

ENERGETIC

EXCITABLE

PEOPLE SCORING LOW IN SOCIABILITY ARE

QUIET

RESERVED

INTROSPECTIVE

PRIVATE

SHY

^ ALLL negative attributes, I need to just kill myself now, no future. 

[echo-bleu]

I am autistic and have often struggled with food selectivity but lately it’s been getting much worse. There were things I could eat but lately can’t even stand the smell of. I was wondering if you ever had that problem and if you know anything that might help. I hope it’s Ok to ask this if not I’m sorry.

Hi Anon! It’s totally okay to ask 💙 I’ll preface this though with saying that I’m not an expert in anything autism, and I only have my own experience and the things I’ve read (admittedly a lot) to fall back on. We are in serious needs of autistic expert in autism things, because allistics sure are shit at it (not all of them of course, but a huge majority).

I haven’t had the exact issue you’re describing because I don’t have too many problems with food compared to many autistic people, but I’ve had similar issues with my other senses. I find that sensory issues are very much a matter of balance: if my general environment is well adapted to me and I don’t have to deal with overload, I’ll be able to eat more things, stand more noise, etc. I wouldn’t surprised that what you’re describing might happen after a change in your routine, like moving places, or, you know, dealing with Covid restrictions. It could also be a smaller change related to eating, like if you’re eating at a different time, or using different ustensils than you’re used to. If you can switch back to a routine that worked for you, that might help. If you can’t, then maybe try to keep to your comfort foods for a while until your brain can integrate the new routine?

It’s also possible for it to be an early sign of burnout. Autistic burnout is something that most of us go through at some point (or multiple point, I’ve had like 5 that I can identify) where things just get too much over a prolonged period of time and our autistic traits can appear to “worsen” because our brains just can’t handle the pressure. In my experience, it can happen while being in an environment that isn’t good for me (stressful, sensory stuff causing overload, too many unexpected changes, this sort of things) or when I’m under a lot of emotional pressure, and it’s also a byproduct of masking too much. It often starts with sensory issues seemingly getting worse (in my case it’s always noise first, but we each have things we struggle with more) and general fatigue. Unfortunately the only thing that helps is rest, trying to avoid overloading situations and stimming as much as your body wants to, which isn’t always possible to do. But a full burnout can be really bad and turn into other mental issues like depression, dissociation and such, so it’s something to watch for.

I’ll leave you with a really good resource on autistic burnout (warning: it’s long, and it mentions topics like suicide and depression). This video might be more accessible, though it’s also less detailed.

If all that rings a bell or if you have other questions, please feel free to ask them. My DMs are also open if you want. And more than anything, take care of yourself. Things are hard right now and they can be even harder for us 💙